#It truly feels like Miraculous has nothing of value to say so why should I bother to listen?

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Sentimonsters Vs Tropes

It's no secret that I hate the fact that Adrien is a sentimonster, but I figured I'd take a minute to clearly explain why it bothers me so much because I don't think that I've done that and I should. There's obviously the issue that he will never have true free will and that's deeply upsetting, but my dislike of this theory came long before canon made that issue clear, further fueling my hatred. My baseline dislike is routed in the heart of the theory and the tropes it's brushing up against.

There are two standard tropes that you usually see with something like the sentiplot. The first trope is the humanization of the outsider and the second is the questioning of what it means to be a valid living creature. Let's quickly define both of these.

Humanization of the Outsider

This trope takes some external group and presents them as bad. They are the irredeemable enemy who must be stopped at all costs, the lesser race who are fit to be nothing more than slaves, or some other inherent disparity that's just a base part of this world. Whatever the setup, the story then introduces a member of this external group as a key character in the story and somehow creates a connection between that character and the "good" guys. Through that connection, we come to learn that this individual is, in fact, not inherently lesser or bad or what-have-you. They are just as valid as the "good" guys. From there, we are forced to reassess our assumptions about every member of the external group. If this one individual isn't what we thought, then are any of them? For a well-known example of this, think Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon.

The point of this trope is to make people question the way they view others. To suggest that maybe you're viewing a situation through biased eyes. Is any group inherently bad/lesser or do you just not know the whole story? What have you been taught and why?

What Makes You Worthy of Life?

This trope is basically the inversion of the humanization trope. Instead of focusing on how we view others, it focuses on how we view ourselves. It says that you're valid no matter where you come from or who your parents are. That you are not defined by others or arbitrary catagories. For a well-known example of this, think of that Mewtwo line that people love to quote:

“I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.” ― Pokemon, The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back!

Combo Attack & Variations

Before we circle back to Miraculous, it's worth noting that these two tropes are often used in tandem. A non-human or outsider may question if they're valid and, though that struggle, teach others in-universe to question their prejudice. You can also have variations such as the non-human or outsider viewing themselves as totally valid without being part of a larger group, leading to the type of discussion that you'd expect in the humanization trope even thought, setup wise, it's more in line with the validity trope. Star Trek: The Next Generation has several episodes about this one, mostly focused around the character Data. Heck, Stark Trek hits every one of these tropes at one point or another because they're incredibly standard Sci-Fi tropes. A large amount of Sci-Fi is all about philosophical questions! This brings us back to Miraculous.

Dunking on Miraculous

When you use a standard setup like the introduction of a non-human who is supposed to be seen as human, you are joining a vast canon of literature that discusses this topic, adding your voice to thousands of others, making your statement on humanity and personal worth. Or, at least, that's what I expect to see when you introduce this type of setup. The problem with Miraculous is that it doesn't add to those conversations. There is no discussion of Adrien's worth or the worth of any other sentimonster. If anything, Miraculous has so far spat in the face of these tropes. To show you what I mean, let's look at what canon has given us from two directions.

Direction One: What makes a sentimonster valid?

Their creator. Adrien was made to live like a human and so we must treat him as one. If a sentimonster wasn't made to be equal to humans? Then no worries, go ahead and destroy them! They don't matter because their creator - aka their parent - decided that they're worthless. The circumstances of their birth define their fundamental right to exist.

Direction Two: What did finding out about their sentistatus do to Felix and Kagami's perception of their own self worth? Does finding out a sentikids' sentiness status change how others see them?

Canon seems to have no interest in even acknowledging that someone might ask these questions. Felix has known what he is for years, but doesn't seem to have any hangups about it. He wants to ensure his freedom, but that's not unique to sentimonsters or saying something about his self worth. Once he has his ring and the peacock, his lack of true free will and the whole remote-self-destruct issue don't seem to bother him. You could replace his status with any sort of magical control and get the same plot because the plot is about acquiring macguffins and nothing else.

Even Colt's abuse is only used to make Felix a sad little uwu who can't be held accountable for anything and not as a setup to Felix questioning his worth. We see Felix called "monster," but Felix has not been shown to have taken that insult to heart. He doesn't view himself as a monster. We don't even learn about the monster insult until Felix is "good." The most I can say is that there is a vague sense that Felix probably views humans as lesser, but it's hard to be sure about that based on the actual text of the show even if the word of god is that Ladybug made Felix trust humans. So that's a bust on Felix addressing this issue even though he's the best character to do it. What about everyone else?

Kagami seems to learn the truth in the middle of season five and she's totally fine. Not really human? Not a problem! Her love life is far more worthy of attention. Make her a human who feels in love with a sentimonster and, once again, nothing changes.

Marinette is implied to learn the truth during Felix's play and has no reaction. The fact that she's Miraculous Ladybugged away sentimonsters and even tossed a few in the sun doesn't appear to even cross her mind. The only impact this has on her is that she now has more secrets to keep from Adrien. Her view of him, Kagami, and Felix has not changed.

We don't even get Nathalie or Gabriel reacting to the idea of destroying sentimonster! For fifteen years, the only sentimonsters they've dealt with are Adrien, Kagami, and Felix. They appear to see these three as real human children and yet they have no problem switching to using other sentimonsters as canon fodder. If anyone should have reacted strongly to the death of sentibug, it's Gabriel because Nathalie is wielding the power to poof away his son and she just showed a total lack of regard for what is supposedly a fourth valid sentimonster, but we get nothing.

Given all these tepid non-reactions, I guess that the audience is not supposed to care about the fact that Adrien was the only character with no hopes or dreams in Wishmaker. That meant nothing about his worth or psychology! It was just a bit of fun foreshadowing! He's a real boy because his mommy and the writers said so. No greater discussion is needed.

What's the show's actual message then?

Now, do I think that Miraculous was trying to give us baby's first eugenics lesson? No. Absolutely not! This is, at best, incredibly clumsy writing that is trying and failing to tell a moral that I truly can't figure out. At worst, the sentiplot shows us that the writers have a fundamental lack of curiosity. A complete disinterest in using their massive platform to say something of value. They are here to shock audiences with poorly setup twists and nothing else. Whichever path you pick, it's not a good look.

I truly love these tropes and grew up consuming media that played with them. They have positively shaped how I view the world. That's why I find Miraculous' handling of this topic so incredibly depressing and upsetting. The problem is not that Adrien is a sentimonster. It's that he was made into one - robbed of his freedom and humanity - for nothing more than shock value. It's that other, "lesser" sentimonsters are being treated as disposable by one of their own kind. It's that there is no greater lesson here or, if there is, then it's going to be told in a way that completely fails to connect with the audience due to the show's terrible pacing and inability to use the type of focus you need to tell a coherent arc.

These are the writers who had Adrien give the high road advice at the beginning of season three and then didn't revisit that issue until the end of season five without so much as a flashback to remind viewers what the heck he was talking about. Rare is the viewer who can follow that plot and I don't expect the sentiplot to be any better assuming that there even is going to be a plot. If there is, then I already hate it! I don't want Miraculous discussing hard topics with superfans and no one else. I want it having those discussions in a way that the intended audience can follow. If it can't do that, then it never should have tread on such morally complex ground.

[dishwater-blondie]

Why do you suppose Gabriel is so cold to Adrien? It seems like he doesn't care much about Adrien outside of his relation to Emilie. Given how bad things are between them it's hard to imagine how their relationship can be healed in a satisfying way

I do have a lot of thoughts on this and they are grounded mostly in pure speculation. I admit the show itself seems to suggest that the majority of the affection Gabriel holds for Adrien is related through Emilie, or at least the majority of affection that isn’t implicit paternal fondness (if that even matters with someone as emotionally flaccid as Gabriel). And honestly, this kinda sucks. For people to do try to enjoy Gabriel’s character like myself, his relationship with Adrien as presented does serve as one especially shitty detail in what is already quite the shitshow. But what really bothers me is that there is immense potential for some compellingly intricate family dynamics in the Agreste household that is oversimplified by the idea that Adrien is a reminder of Emilie to his father and nothing more. Here’s an explanation of what I believe should be the situation:

I’ve already offered plenty of analysis on why I think Emilie should be a villain and the evidence we have suggesting this might be the case, so I’ll spare you all of that right now. What I’ve talked much less about is how Emilie herself could have thrown a wrench in the relationship between father and son. From what we’ve heard about her so far, we are to understand that Emilie was always the warm and affectionate parent, while Gabriel, given his rigidity and general coldness, was likely the disciplinarian. However, since it’s been theorized at length that Emilie must have been majorly responsible for Adrien’s isolation growing up (at least equally to her husband), one conclusion that I have drawn is that Emilie could have been the one making these rules, tasking Gabriel with enforcing them. That’s not to say Gabriel didn’t also believe in these rules. I’m sure he did. But it’s beyond obvious that Gabriel has an unhealthy devotion to his wife, so who is to say Emilie didn’t manage to convince Gabriel of a structured lifestyle he wouldn’t have otherwise favored? It’s possible (especially when you consider based on Audrey’s dialogue that Gabriel was probably the lower class of the two who had to work and marry his way into wealth).

But expanding on this, we also have ample evidence that Emilie liked being idolized in her own house. Why else would there be giant golden portraits, statues, and a beautiful multi-story repository/garden - at least two of which had to have been prepared before she had fallen asleep? Might we speculate, then, that Emilie liked to be the center of attention? That she reveled in this overzealous dedication Gabriel exhibits towards her? And if she likes it from Gabriel, why wouldn’t she like it from her son, who doesn’t seem to register that she had to have played a considerable role in keeping him sheltered from the world? Adrien’s isolation is blamed on Gabriel even though he has more friends and freedom now than he’s had throughout the rest of his life. Yet, Emilie is still thought of as the better parent.

To a great extent, of course, she was. At least in terms of giving her son the time of day and being emotionally available to him. But what if she closed Gabriel off from this role? What if she made him play bad cop, enforce the rules she liked while she got to swoop in with her love and comfort and ignore that she was just as responsible for the way things were? What if she facilitated these parenting roles, ensuring she was always painted in a good light and never blamed for her son’s hardship?

[I mean, look at Amelie, who blamed Felix’s bad behavior on the fact that his father was no longer around to keep him out of trouble. She’s not responsible. His dad was the disciplinarian. Not her. She can’t control her son (even though she very much is)].

Now Emilie is gone and Gabriel doesn’t know how to step into the role she’d played all their son’s life. He seems so uncomfortable with Adrien showing him any kind of affection. Like it’s new to him. Like he doesn’t know how to be what Emilie had once been. Like he even feels guilty for filling that space.

Remember when Gabriel expressed that all he has left of Emilie is the grimoire and Adrien? Well, he is obsessed with that grimoire (or what it represents, the miraculous endeavor as a whole). But he keeps Adrien at a distance. If memory is all Adrien provided for him, wouldn’t he taking advantage of that more? If he truly values Adrien only as something Emilie left behind, I feel like they’d have a different relationship. Still a very, very unhealthy one. But different. “Closer” feels like the wrong word even though I do mean “less distant”. 

But no. Adrien seems almost emotionally off limits to Gabriel. He’s not brushing Adrien off because he’s too painful of a reminder - Gabriel literally never stops reminding himself of Emilie. Gabriel brushes Adrien off because he doesn’t know how to be something other than what he’s always been - the iron fist. The bad cop. The disciplinarian. Being as loving and warm as Emilie used to be would not only force him to confront the fact that they don’t need Emilie anymore, but it would also betray the hard and fast structure of their family functions, the structure Emilie implemented to secure her place in the emotional center of her husband and son’s worlds. 

As for how to heal their relationship, I talked a little bit about this in my post about Gabriel’s redemption, but I want to add that I do think it’s imperative these dynamics are exposed and both Agrestes realize how their relationship has been manipulated and that they properly communicate about it. 

Thank you for this ask! This was some fun analysis. 

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 2/4:

.:New Miraculous Asks:.

Anonymous said:

Can people just STOP calling Marinette a "stalker"? Like, seriously? Especially TV Tropes. They have her listed under the trope for "Stalker With A Crush" and even have a video source of her(from Copycat) which was taken WAY out of context. They also listed her under "Stalking Is Funny If It Is Female After Male", which IS an existing double standard, but Marinette is still not an example and wouldn't be even if she WERE a stalker, because Wayhem's stalking actually WAS played for laughs!

Granted he was stalking another male and we don't know if he has a crush on him(but if he did it would be...unfortunate), but it's still an example. Plus, they claim that Volpina is about her learning her lesson regarding her stalker tendencies, but that no matter how many times she learns it, it never seems to stick. Yes, because everything is Marinette's fault and she's the stubborn shallow bitch who needs a kick in the ovaries, it's not, you know, the writers making her look bad/OOC!!!

THIS. ALL OF THIS.

Oh my god, I cannot tell you how infuriating it is to see “stalker” get thrown around like that. I would need two hands to count the amount of words that have lost meaning to me because people throw them out wildly and without any self-control. Stalkers engage in far more aggressive and obsessive behavior than Marinette, and usually also feature them harrassing whoever they’re stalking (such as calling them a lot), and they also never stop when they’re asked to. Marinette doesn’t fit the description of harrassment at all; Chat Noir does more than her and I don’t even call his behavior “harrassment” because that’s another word that’s lost all meaning by now and I wouldn’t use it in the first place.

Anyway, I think the Wayhem example is valid because Marinette’s crush on Adrien is written very much like a celebrity crush, so it’s similar territory.

On the note of “Volpina,” I do not understand it considering that Tikki was all on board with Marinette following Lila for the sake of getting the book back; that was one of the cases where there was an alternative motive out of just “follow Adrien” (which is not really something we see Marinette frequently doing; usually when we see her watching Adrien, it’s because she wants to approach but can’t bring herself to).

And yeah, most of the time, it’s just the narrative. The show basically puts it all on Marinette to solve all her personal problems (while constantly piling more stuff onto her) instead of getting active encouragement (no, eye rolls, verbal jabs, and groans do not count) from her friends and Tikki.

Like, what am I supposed to expect from Marinette when her friends still actively support Adrienette? By supporting Adrienette, regardless of the comments they make, they’re supporting Marinette’s behavior. Same with Tikki.

Anonymous said:

Have you noticed that with love interests of Marinette and Adrien, it's always the girls who like Adrien who are shallow, mean bitches and competition to Marinette(like Lila, Chloe, Kagami at first), while the boys who like Marinette are nice, friendly, and have no competition between each other whatsoever, sometimes not even knowing there IS competition(Adrien, Luka, Nathaniel). It's just really unfair and sexist because it's like girls can't be civil/friends and must fight over a guy.

That’s been a common topic of salt for a long while, yeah, I just don’t talk about it much.

It’s a difficult subject because I’m the type who can’t hold it against the guy characters (so I won’t dislike Kagami for “being similar to Chloe/Lila in terms of aggressiveness,” for example) because it feels wrong to, but I can hate the trend itself.

It’s also doubly unfair because Marinette’s crushes blip away quickly (like Nathaniel and Nino) while Adrien’s crushes stick around specifically to upset Marinette, so it’s like the show is saying, “if there’s a character who loves/supports Marinette, they gotta either stop or leave” (I’m pretty sure I got a “Didn’t Need Burrow” about the narrative sending Luka away and I don’t doubt it).

Anonymous said:

Personal Heacanon: Marinette and Chloé used to be friends until Marinette found out what Chloé (and Sabrina) has been using her commisions (mostly elaborate traps "to guard off thieves") for. This is why Chloé has it out for Marinette specifically. This is why everyone stood by as it happened. This is why she hates liars. This is why her "friends" are so casual at making jabs at her self-stem (they never believed she never knew what Chloé was truly up to). And also why Lila had it so easy at gaslighting everyone againts her (she's "relapsing" and it's easy to think she "deserves it").

Dang. That’s intense.

Yeah, Punch has given quite a few ideas about Marinette and Chloe previously being friends if I recall correctly. I like the idea even if I never use that kind of idea myself.

Anonymous said:

I feel like Adrien could be a really cool character if they focused less on romance? If that wasn’t his only motivation, and they developed his friendships more, and they didn’t have this entitlement. I also would like more actual friendship in regards to adrien & marinette? And him actually having interest in her but denying it bc he thinks he can only like ladybug. I feel like the sexism of the creators/writers are seeping into the character a lot and ruining it, too... It makes me really sad.

I’m hoping Adrigami will help adrien sort out a lot of his stuff bc Kagami doesn’t take any crap, and I actually really like their relationships, but I don’t have much hope. I would love for the show to use her and this relationship as a way to call out and develop adrien, but I doubt that will happen bc that would mean acknowledging his flaws. It’s just disappointing, really....

Yeah, Adrien could’ve been interesting, especially if they used Adrimi to its full potential, but they don’t. The show also has a history of letting Chat Noir get away with things and not punishing him so I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't even ship the love square anymore, but Fanon Adrienette is a thousand times better than canon Adrienette(the same goes for every other side of the love square, obvs). It's what the canon should be but we fans can only wish. Take, for example, the whole "she's just a friend" statement. In canon Adrien makes it because he genuinely sees Marinette as that and nothing more(which of course isn't bad, it's just sad when Marinette's always humiliated for the sake of getting his love).

In fanon, he makes it because he's actually in denial about his feelings for Marinette(which reminds me of a definition for "just a friend" on Urban Dictionary, which had Adrien drawing her name with hearts and flowers around it, and yet, when Nino asked if he had a crush, he STILL insists she's just a friend!), but realizes his mistake later.

In canon, Adrien thinks Marinette is Ladybug only because it's convenient for him since she's in love with him. In fanon, he actually does notice things about her that make her similar to Ladybug, and falls for her BEFORE knowing their identities because he sees the same qualities of bravery, strength, and femininity that he sees in Ladybug(I remember one fanfic where Marinette stood up to GABRIEL'S overprotectiveness, and Adrien could only admire how much she resembled Ladybug in that moment).

In canon, Chat is ignorant of Ladybug's feelings and agency and doesn't comfort Marinette when she's sad; instead, she has to comfort him. In fanon, Chat Noir cares about how Ladybug feels and values her agency, his jokes are genuinely funny(although canon Chat can be funny too, it's just the where and when), and he backs off when Ladybug is uncomfortable. In fanon, Chat Noir genuinely helps Marinette when she's sad and sometimes comes to see her just because, not out of plot convenience(and calls her "Purrincess" a lot more, why did the English dub just change it to "little lady"?).

It makes me think, maybe, just maybe, if these things were canon and the world was fair to Marinette, I might actually ship it; it might actually have a fighting chance against Lukanette and Adrimi. But while all these things are cute, it only makes canon more disappointing. Fanon is doing what canon should be doing. Fanon is supposed to build off of what canon gave us and expand on it. Fanon shouldn't create its own alternative because canon isn't giving us enough to chew on, it shouldn't have to.

Sadly, I think most of the fans, including the Adriennette-shipping ones, should be on some level in charge of the show; things would be SO MUCH better for the main ship(which isn't even progressing that far) and SO MUCH fairer to Marinette if that were so.

I feel this very much so. The show has been around for a long time and fandom can shape a lot of things. I think the love square wouldn’t be as beloved as it is if not for the fandom expanding on it and making it better (obviously, in some cases, they don’t make it better, but the love square is plentiful so there has to be some good takes out there).

Some shows do in fact let the fandom build off the foundation it makes and then you have things like Astruc outright lying and saying that Chat apologized in “Frozer” when he, in fact, did not, which makes everything more muddled.

maxwaspace said:

What is your opinion of the Scarlet Lady webcomic by Z.O.E?

I’m not into the love square no matter how better one might do it (it’s been soured too much for me in the show), but I do get happy seeing Zoe’s art and wondering how she’ll change/expand on the plotpoints in certain episodes.

Anonymous said:

Not sure it anyone's already said this but-

Canon Audrey: you're fired!

MC Audrey: you're hired!

Okay but hear me out.

Canon Audrey being put in charge of dealing with Miraculous’ writers, MC Audrey put in charge of hiring new ones.

Anonymous said:

Something the genuinely scares me is how close some people’s predictions where for miraculous I just saw predictions people made for season 3 and it’s worrying that the worst possible scenario for them ended up happening beat for beat.

The show can be very, very predictable that way. The way I’d describe it is that I do expect these bad things to happen in really convoluted and dumb ways, but it still surprises me by exactly how predictable it ends up being. I mean, I catch certain things really easily and the phrase, “the whole episode just flashed before my eyes,” is something I commonly say.

Predictability isn’t entirely bad, but when the prediction is unwanted? Yeah, there’s a problem.

Anonymous said:

You could basically summarize the difference between what Miraculous fans want and what the Miraculous writers want by using the John Mulaney "Delta Airlines" bit as a template.

I had to get said bit explained to me since I haven’t seen that one, but yes, now I can confirm.

Anonymous said:

How do you think Chat Blanc would play out if Marinette and/or Adrien were already dating other people? Like if Marinette had already moved on, do you think the narrative would punish her for it?

I imagine it would have Adrien still be crushing on Ladybug and he’d break it off with this other person when he realized that Ladybug is Marinette, which the narrative would then promote as “the correct decision” because they’re soulmates and such. If Marinette has moved on, she probably won’t care about his advances, which would lead to Adrien getting upset and maybe being convinced that an identity reveal would solve the problem and/or speeding up getting Hawk Moth defeated/arrested.

Marinette would probably be blaming herself for not being “sensitive enough” to Adrien/Chat’s feelings, which is what led to him being akumatized.

I could also see the girl squad forcing Marinette to give Adrien the present similar to canon, but maybe the beret doesn’t have a heart and Marinette isn’t actually interested, but rolls with it because the girl squad insists on it (probably convinced that she’s denying her own feelings).

Anonymous said:

What do you think constitutes as a "strong female character"? Do you think the girls and women in Miraculous Ladybug are "strong female characters"? Why or why not(I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment, by the way!)? Because to me I feel like a lot of them are given depth and focus, but they're often forced into stereotypes, and let's not forget how the show derail's Marinette's character for a joke. But lots of people think a strong girl has to be boyish or else she's weak somehow.

“I'm sorry if this sounded like a school assignment“ dfhgkfdgfg

I guess it depends on what you consider a strong female character. Like, can a shy female character be “strong” if maybe she holds firm to her morals or can fight people off?

I think Marinette has the potential to be a “strong female character” but the show nerfs her using her crush on Adrien (which raises so many red flags that I can’t cover here) and all it’s really done for her is get her laughed at and humiliated. If her life didn’t revolve and get ruined so badly due to her crush on Adrien, I think she’d be a strong female character (I know what the Season 3 finale did but I’m not buying any of it until we see proper results in Season 4).

That’s not to say that characters with crushes can’t be “strong” but it has to not control their life. I mean... okay...

Would Sabrina be considered a “strong female character” if she recognized Chloe’s treatment of her and worked hard to get out of it? Is the want and attempt to move on from something what constitutes “strength,” or do they have to succeed?

My conflict is always... I want to give Marinette credit for trying to move on from Adrien, but I know that it’s just the writing trying to make things seem tense/strained just to make it feel “better” when they actually get together. You see it all the time in anime/manga where a misunderstanding/self-doubt ends up hurting the relationship of the main ship; it’s to force conflict and separation, giving the ship something to overcome so they can get together.

I will say though that shy characters can be strong, physically strong characters can be weak, and so on. What defines a “strong” character may be vague to me, but I take it as I go. I would like to say that Marinette is a strong character on her own because she wants to improve even if she fails, but I also don’t want to give the writing credit for something that ultimately means nothing. I want to say that she’s strong but the narrative seems to do everything in its power to tell me that she’s weak.

Let me give a non-Miraculous example: say that you have a pacifist character, but there’s a villain who has done terrible things, cannot be redeemed (plz do not swarm my inbox with “anyone can be redeemed” comments, this is a hypothetical), and any method besides killing them right there and now would lead to more destruction/lives lost.

You might say that that the pacifist character would be “strong” in sticking by their morals and trying to find another way even if they ultimately would fail and the villain would get away, but an argument can also be made that the pacifist is being stubborn and letting people die because they are unwilling to rethink the morality they’ve chosen. Is a pacifist a pacifist if they’re letting the blood of other people spill because they themselves aren’t willing to have the blood be on their own hands? Are they “strong” because they stuck by what they believe in or are they “weak” because they refused to expand what they believed was “right”?

You could apply that to Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender (I know he’s not female but stick with me here). He was faced with having to murder the Fire Lord to the point where a past reincarnation who was raised on the same values as him didn’t agree with him. I think it was acceptable for him to try and stick to his morals and find another way, but he came up empty and the show had to give him a way of taking away the Fire Lord’s power so Aang didn’t have to make that choice in the end (there’s also that thing with the rock to his back and having to give up Katara but we’re not getting into that).

People could argue that, “oh, he admitted to himself that he’d have to kill the Fire Lord and then he got the Deus Ex Machina so it’s okay!” but the problem there is that the narrative basically gave two options: Murder or Take Away the Guy’s Bending, but there was incredible risk involved in the latter option. Aang almost lost himself against the Fire Lord and risked everything so that he would not have to kill him.

I would argue it makes him weak. I would argue that needing the narrative to favor him makes him weak (which is one plus for Marinette I guess the narrative is usually against her???). The lack of ability to understand his past lives and see things from their perspective made him weak for me, as him holding so stiffly to his values made it appear that he felt his ways were “better” than everyone else’s (which had been a long-standing problem for me and I never forgave him for “The Southern Raiders”).

Anonymous said:

What do you think of adriens mom Emilie. Like what do you how do you feel she wound up using the peacock miraculous personally I’m leaning into her being a villain due to the fact that there aren’t any stories of a peacock hero (unless they retcon that) and that her husband is well freaking Gabriel who has no real form of morals. Also I can’t help but think of how they got the miraculous in the first place. Anyways overall what do you think they will do with her or think of her right now.

I see her like I see any dead mom in media (I know she’s comatose, not the point); a tool for angst. Her reasons for using the peacock could be anything (might even be that she was given it and simply wearing it was damaging to her, or she transformed once to try it out and that was that), but I just don’t feel strongly about her because I’m not invested in the Agreste plot.

Me personally, I headcanon that she’s kind of like Bustier where she appears good but is actually very damaging. Instead of the generic “good mom who tried to do good things for her son but folded to angry dad’s demands,” I would like to imagine that she’s selfish in her own right and was part of the reason for Adrien never going to public school; she’s possessive herself (a contributor to why the Agrestes are so wealthy) and wants her son to remain close to her even if she genuinely cares about him and should want him to be able to go and learn from the world.

But I imagine they’ll probably make her either “pure good mom” or “villain like Gabriel where she’s ‘sympathetic’ but also evil.” The show has never been good at doing gray morality (see my MC Audrey for example) and usually messes things up if they try.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, I don't like Mme. Bustier, but if they DARE pull the pregnancy jokes with her--and I don't mean "pregnancy puns", like those would be ACTUALLY funny without offending anybody, but "ooh, she's pregnant so now she's moody and has wacky cravings and screams at everybody and is a nightmare to be around" and other things that just scream "male writer who mocks female biology and doesn't understand women", I'm going to cry. We already don't like Bridezilla, and this isn't any better.

Ugh. I don’t even like pregnancy plots in general or anything related to pregnancy (my followers who have been around forever and know of my hatred towards babies: wow what a shock!!), so adding on “jokes” like that?

Hard pass. I already don’t like Bustier so the mere idea of her potentially getting any focus there--

Anonymous said:

What do you think of the Alyanette ship? Personally, I'm ambivalent to it, but I can sorta see Alya being bi and having a crush on Marinette but Marinette doesn't like her back. Or she could have a crush on Ladybug. But I don't like the idea of it being mutual, considering how pushy and invasive Alya is. It also doesn't make sense for her to so insistently push the love square if she likes Marinette. But perhaps that's where some of her sarcastic quips come from: jealousy(cliche I know).

I’m always here for bi representation (no one can take my bi disaster headcanon’d Nino and Kagami away from me), but I actively dislike the Alyanette ship. I was okay with it back in Season 1 but it started to fall off in Season 2 and officially die in Season 3.

I don’t judge people by what they ship (...much; there’s obviously that little part of me that can’t help giving the side eye) but yeah, not for me.

Anonymous said:

As a different flavor of angst: Can you imagine Marinette’s class going to Riverside park in NYC and Tikki spotting the Jeanne D’Arc statue? I always wondered what it would have been like for Tikki to see Jeanne burned alive by the people she swore to protect. I think Nobody briefly touched on this for Witch Hunter, but not many people I have seen (probably missed something) talk about it. What do you think?

I’m indifferent to past holders getting mentioned and acknowledged; not sure how I feel about them given specific names and such (I kinda like seeing their designs and such but making them actual people from the real world? mmmm not here for that as much).

I like the idea though of addressing those real world things and having the kwami reacting to them. Like, it did make me genuinely sad in the New York special to see Liiri come out and call out Gilbert’s name, only to see this other guy standing there and we know that this Gilbert guy is very much dead by now.

On a related note, I’d be all for a special getting into a kwami’s problem and not making everything Marinette’s fault, so having Marinette maybe helping a kwami through theri issues and it leads into getting more lore on the kwami.

Anonymous said:

I just had an epiphany today: People who hate on Marinette for being "mean" to Lila/teachers telling Marinette to ignore Chloe and Lila and treat them nicely are the equivalent of real adults telling girls who are being bullied by boys that "he does it because he likes you." Ladies, raise your hands if something like this has ever happened: "Jamal tried to cut my cheek open with a razor!" "Oh, Aaliyah, he's only doing it because he likes you." Now that I've seen it I can't unsee it. Disgusting.

“Marinette, they’re just jealous of you, that’s all! Can you really get angry at them for that??”

us: yes

Anonymous said:

Thinking about Puppeteer 2 and how Marinette's identity could have been blown if she had talked to Tikki because of Plagg's incompetence angers me beyond belief because I know, just KNOW, if that had actually happened, Marinette would take ALL THE BLAME for it like there's no tomorrow. It would never occur to anyone that she normally talks to Tikki while she's alone and had no idea that the "statue" in front of her was a real boy AND her partner, or that Plagg should have said something. Ugh.

I KNOW, RIGHT????

That was such a big annoyance to me in that episode. They literally neglected the actual reality of what would happen (”Oh, Tikki! No one’s here, I could practice on this Adrien statue!”) for the sake of humiliating Marinette... again.

Anonymous said:

Your comment about how Ladybug always says she's "in love with someone else", as if that should matter diddly squat when the problem is with Chat not respecting her feelings on their own without another guy in the picture reminds me of a #YesAllWomen post I saw on Twitter. It read: "'I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you." It's just like this except without the dating and the fact that Chat DOESN'T leave her alone.

And then you remember that the “someone else” she’s in love with is the exact person who’s disrespecting her feelings and you proceed to hate everything.

Anonymous said:

The statue scene in Puppeteer 2 could've easily kept its humor by having Adrien fall over when Marinette puts her weight on him and almost kisses him, then Marinette goes "Gasp! You're not a statue!" Marinette is always being forced to humiliate herself in the name of "love", even when she doesn't deserve it, so for once, let Adrien be the one utterly humiliated of his own doing. Then they could have a sad scene where Adrien ACTUALLY comforts her and...wait for it...LEARNS A LESSON.

Alternatively, someone who works on the statues comes in and, also mistaking Adrien for a statue, tries to do some sort of work on him.

Anonymous said:

Since we can all agree that this show is sadly not very good at girl power/inclusivity, how would you tweak the show to make it more genuinely female-empowering/inclusive(can include racial/sexual inclusivity)? Besides the obvious(including more female and/or POC writers on board).

Orientation-related inclusivity isn’t even that hard. Have a character get a call from someone and just be like, “oh, it’s my boyfriend/girlfriend,” and then other companies can just dub it if they’re so afraid of characters who like the same gender.

Firstly, I’d have Marinette learn and become more of a mentor character to other characters (male and female), lean more into more “females in power” (like Mylene showing genuine interest in being the next mayor), either less focus on the “girl antagonists are evil/unredeemable” plots or at least make them legitimate threats that don’t need the narrative to cater to them to make them threatening.

Secondly, Adrien needs to STOP being the one to keep telling Marinette/Ladybug what’s right or the way to do things. I can’t stress this one enough.

Thirdly, maybe not having a season dedicated to three guys getting miraculouses while all the girls are either questioned, self-reveal, or get their miraculous revoked. That might help. :P

Anonymous said:

The saddest thing is that I can see ML going through a "Fate: The Winx Saga" in the future and having an awful, edgy reboot to appeal more to adults.

Different writers probably but at what cost.

+ more sexualization obviously since that’s usually what “more adult” means; Audrey gets the cleavage that her design clearly calls for at least, but again, at what cost

Anonymous said:

I hate what TheOnesWhoMustNotBeNamed have done to the Love Square but I also don't like Lukanette and Adrigami (nothing against the characters themselves). This is going to be one of those shows that regardless what ship wins is going to disappoint around 90% of the fans.

No hate for not liking Lukanette/Adrimi, I understand that.

And yeah, there’s a <1% chance that they can pull out anything satisfying.

Anonymous said:

Off topic, but I realized why I don’t like Clara Nightingale’s design, there’s no light to her eyes, makes her look kinda dead, kinda evil.

DQ tend to do that when they’re the ones animating. I remember “Christmaster” doing particularly well with the eye highlights.

Anonymous said:

What do you think about the future Miraculous specials (Africa, Japan, Rio, Shanghai, London)?

Will be happy to see a new setting because it shows different cultures (though there’s always the chance that the culture is poorly-represented) but that’s basically it. Specials are usually just a cash grab that are just there and any expansion on lore and such is shunted to the side for the sake of love square drama, judging by the New York special.

Anonymous said:

I haven't watched the New York Special yet, don't think I can bring myself to tbh, but this whole time I thought Aeon was the name of the superhero persona, and that the fandom was collectively calling her civilian identity Uncanny Valley bc her model was that bad.

I was genuinely shocked to find out that her civilian identity is named Aeon and that her hero name is Uncanny Valley bc that is not only a stupid name, but kind of insulting since she's an android character of color. (Well, she's a character of color except for when shes running around as a pale naked superhero. Majestia, give your kid some pants!)

oof

Yeah, the Uncanny Valley thing threw me off too. “Aeon” really does sound like a superhero name.

I can’t believe they made her a robot and were like, “mannequin robot design.” I question so many things about the decisions made around Aeon fdkjgjfdg.

Anonymous said:

Do you think they’ll ever leave DuPont college, since it’s a middle school (essentially) and go to a lycee (high school)? I think they’re in their second year of four at DuPont, judging by the previous class picture.

I doubt it, unless we get more seasons? It would mean having to model a whole new school.

Anonymous said:

So I was reading again tikki brand boyfriend and this come to my mind and I have to share it with you.... Tikki is the mother in law of marinette in the future lol (sorry if this isn't the right blog to ask this) (I love yours au, you are amazing!)

(this is the wrong blog, yes, you’re looking for mc-lukanette, not miraculouscontent)

Thank you though! i agree, that’s cute, ahaha~

Anonymous said:

Did you know that there's a TV Tropes page for LadyBugOut?! And someone even left a review there saying they liked it and that they were sick of the Marinette embarrassing and wanted some Lukanette. They say your au is their favorite au in the fandom! Isn't that just swell?

Yes! And the TV Tropes page is fantastic! Thank you!

Anonymous said:

OMG IVE FIGURED OUT WHY MARINETTE IS UNABLE TO GET OVER ADRIEN!!! She’s under the influence of a love potion called Amortentia, which causes a powerful obsession from the drinker (it’s from Harry Potter). That’s why she’s so obsessed, and that’s why she can’t get over Adrien! She literally can’t while under the influence of the potion! She just needs to drink the antidote, and then she can finally be free!

Oh no!! Someone get this poor girl an antidote, STAT!

Anonymous said:

I was just reading your review of Silencer(which I totally agree with by the way), and when I got to the part about how Ladybug lost her voice and her powers are voice-activated, it got me thinking about how annoying Chat was being(as another anon noted, which I also agree with), and then it hit me. While it may just come off as his usual flirtatious banter that's innocent, the fact that he doesn't even seem to mind Ladybug not being able to detransform because then he gets to "be with her" forever and ever and ever amen just proves your point about Chat Blanc. He cares more about being with Ladybug than Ladybug herself, so long as she gets to keep being Ladybug "for him", that's what matters. Remember that the girl he fell in love with was the superhero persona and not the girl under the mask. He couldn't care less about who that actual girl is so long as she's his "lady" and loves him back. He just wants her to uphold the image of his strong and powerful "lady" that he admires.

(Glad you enjoyed the “Silencer” review! Thanks!)

Full agreement here! Chat isn’t really in love with Ladybug; he’s in love with the image he’s made of her and wants to keep it that way, no matter how much he may suggest otherwise.

Anonymous said:

Luka is soooo much more interesting with Marinette like, why isn't he the love interest? Same with Kagami for Adrien. To be honest it would be cool if the show set up the love square at first but then slowly started to change to Lukanette and Adrimi once Marinette and Adrien realized their crushes were just not working out. They can still have an identity reveal, but they'll refreshingly stay friends. But the writers don't have the ovaries to do that, I get it. -_- Such wasted potential.

They could’ve done a really interesting bait-and-switch but they decided not to. The love square is full of holes and flaws that they’re very likely never going to address (outside of anything used for that “gAsP maybe they won’t get together???” drama), so having it actually be addressed and be like, “okay, we’re better as friends,” would’ve gone over so much better.

Anonymous said:

I hear people complain all the time that Lukanette is toxic because Luka is merely the "second choice" for Marinette, and that she just uses him as a rebound when she fails to get Adrien's attention. But the truth is, that's not how it is at all. Luka's not anywhere near her "second choice". He gives her tranquility and stability, and she helps him loosen up and have someone to express his creativity towards. Plus, it's totally normal for teens to have two crushes whom they can't choose between.

THIS

ALL OF THIS

I am so tired of people saying that Marinette is “using” Luka in someway as if it’s a conscious decision on her part to take advantage him.

Luka makes her happy. That’s it. Luka is aware of how she feels and respects her space, but I guess that makes him a “pushover” and “he lets Marinette walk all over him” because he didn’t get upset with her and embarrass her in “Desperada” by calling her out over her Adrien blindness.

Anonymous said:

People who say "I like Marinette but she's getting to be pretty embarrassing sometimes" really don't get that the show constantly forces her into situations where she's embarrassed and made out to be incompetent. Like, it's not her that's embarrassing, it's the show that's always embarrassing her. Kind of like Serena/Usagi in the (shitty)DiC English dub of Sailor Moon. It's getting irritating to hear people continually rag on Marinette as if SHE'S the clueless idiot, rather than the writers.

There are some things that happen to her that she literally could not have predicted. Like, just saying, if I had someone claiming to be my friend, I would expect them to know I’m anxiety-prone and not pretend to be a statue just

Anonymous said:

Remarried Empress Anon: I can see Felix as the Duke and maybe Jagged Stone as Kosair (but an uncle and not her brother).

I agree with both of those! Jagged Stone as Kosair/Koshar, omg.

Plus, the idea of Luka and Felix being “friends” amuses me.

Anonymous said:

You know, I find Felix/Marinette content to be really funny. Because, Felix in fanfiction is a completely different character than his canon self- with a different personality, background, and maybe even last name. So, the entire Marinette/Felix fandom is literally just Marinette/oc except it's always the same oc

I struggle to get fully behind Felinette because so much of it does rely on fandom interpretation and playing with fanon in general (plus, having to clarify “I ship fanon Felinette” is weird).

I do however agree that it’s interesting that it ultimately comes to a character built on fanon grounds, and how much more acceptance characters get when they’re based on “canon”/originally canon characters.

Anonymous said:

How would you write the Miraculous PV version? Just wondering.

I don’t think I could without drastically changing characters and at that point it’s not really the PV anymore. “Bridgette“ and Felix’s relationship is the exact opposite of what I like to watch/read about so yeah, changing both of them to what I like would either be too severe of a rewrite or me working too far within the restrictions set out for me.

Anonymous said:

There's a YouTube video claiming that someone will figure out that Marinette is Ladybug and that she will suffer...I mean, yeah? Isn't that what we've already been getting? I mean, not the first part, obviously(and when we have, it's been undone), but the second? Have we been watching the same show? No, have we? Because Marinette suffering, sadly, is not anything new.

lol “Marinette will suffer!” and us like “did you seriously use future tense as if Marinette isn’t already suffering??”

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who feels like Miraculous Ladybug is feeling less like a magical girl show and more like just another superhero show? This isn't even because of "girl power" or anything like that, or the fact that there are male Miraculous wielders like Chat and Carapace and(long dreamy sigh) Viperion. This is because the outfits don't really resemble magical girl outfits at all and, after watching various magical girl shows both in and out of Japan, Miraculous is starting to feel like its genre is shifting from magical girl to that of "superhero" in its broadest term. And I know I said I wouldn't bring up "girl power", but the fact that so many of the girls aren't treated respectfully by the narrative and are pitted against each other, to the point where they're more likely to lose their Miraculouses or reveal their identities(which often culminates in losing their Miraculouses), only adds to this because the Magical Girl genre is about female empowerment and solidarity.

It's sad because I really don't want this show to become one of those shows where "there might be one or two girls, and she might even be the lead, but it's still mostly guys who are front and center doing the heavy lifting" that we get all the time. Things are starting to change for the better and I want Miraculous to capitalize on that emergence of female empowerment as much as possible. Plus, with the New York Special, the magical girl aspects of the show have been toned down if not obliterated entirely: the transformations for the superheroes only last one minute, and they feel more like the Avengers than Sailor Senshi(which I don't mean in the most literal sense, of course, I am in no way saying that none of them can be male.). Plus they pulled the whole "Samus is a Girl" thing TWICE! TWICE! Come on, if you're show is really about girl power, it shouldn't come as a surprise when girls are, well...powerful! And especially not in Magical Girl for obvious reasons.

So while I'm not saying it's bad for a show to shift from the original genre it was meant to be in(although it must be done carefully, otherwise it looks like you don't know what you're doing), and there is of course no wrong way to do Magical Girl(except for Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, do NOT go there!), it does make me wonder. And it's kind of disappointing, because I really love Magical Girl and I feel like shows like these could introduce the genre to a wider audience and could renovate it as well. But unfortunately they're going a different direction, and that makes me sad. If not for the transformation phrases/sequences and the fact that they have animal companions, I imagine most people would be totally clueless as to how on Earth this show counts as Magical Girl. It still counts as such for me, but it's deviating farther and farther away from the genre to the point where it becomes nigh unrecognizable, or like even the show writers forgot what genre it's supposed to be. Sadly.

Yikes.

Yeah, I can’t imagine how seeing this show must be like for people that are more savvy with magical girl shows. Me personally, I had to be told that it was a magical girl show because it honestly just gave off the “superhero show” vibes even with the magical girl-esque transformations.

Plus, with magical girls, you usually expect a group of girls? Here, we have Ladybug and Chat Noir, who the writers keep being like “they’re equals” which... yeah, that’s fine but it doesn’t really work with the idea that this is a magical girl show? I mean, “Party Crasher” was basically Ladybug and her reverse harem of superhero guys who just got out of a “males-only” party.

I dunno, coming from someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience with magical girl shows, it just doesn’t have what I would expect when I think “magical girl show featuring a healthy dose of girl power.”

Anonymous said:

I was once reading this review of Miraculous Ladybug called "Miraculous Ladybug is a Hot Mess: A Rant", and while it's a good video and you should watch it and I totally agree with everything she said(plus, it made me laugh a few times!), I had a huge issue with the way she made Marinette's stammering around Adrien to be ALL HER FAULT since he's never mean to her and is always patient with her(yeah, more like oblivious), but that "she's incompetent" and "cockblocks herself", which annoys me because Marinette on her own is not the incompetent one here(I also don't like the term "cockblock", like, can we not? But anyway...), rather, it's the writers who make her incompetent for cheap laughs and don't allow her to improve or let anyone(but Luka, bless his kind soul!) truly be on her side. She then had the nerve to say "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on", when, NO, once again, the WRITERS are the ones who define her by her crush on Adrien.

It's one thing to blame a character for something even when she's clearly written by a writer, because characters are supposed to be consistent yet flexible and have free will in-universe. But when she's written this inconsistently/it's obvious the writers have it out for her(to the point where they even say it) it is nigh impossible to pretend it's an aspect of the character herself and not the writers at fault. THAT'S where you draw the line between blaming the character vs the writer.

In fact, speaking of Luka, she also said that she wants the show to get rid of Luka because he's just a "plot device" and has no reason to like her beyond the fact that she's a "funny girl". She also said that Luka is a stereotype of the "cute bad boys who are emo", when that's blatantly untrue. She's allowed to not like Lukanette but all the things she's saying really ignore the point of his character and that his life DOESN'T revolve around Marinette; the writers simply don't respect him.

Even worse, she contradicted herself by saying that Lukanette is pointless because "we all know that Marinette is going to get with Adrien; it's endgame so why does the show even bother with Luka?" Then right after that says that Kagami's okay and that it's okay for Adrien to move onto Kagami because Ladybug has rejected him as Chat so many times(which is apparently not the case for Adriennette because "MaRiNeTtE's JuSt InCoMpEtEnT" right?). So teenage girls aren't allowed to like other boys or date more than one boy, yet teenage boys can date as many chicks as they like. Nice.

And apparently, any problem in a relationship or potential relationship is the girl's fault no matter what. She can't approach him because Goddess forbid girls not always be perfect and capable? She's incompetent and it's all her fault she can't properly talk to a perfectly nice, cute, FAMOUS boy. She rejects him every time he confesses despite him knowing it will fail. Her fault for being mean and not giving him a chance. She gets tired of chasing him and decides to look at someone else since it's not like she's legally married to Boy #1? She should stick with the original boy since they're gonna get together anyway. He gets tired of chasing her and decides to look at someone else since it's not like he's legally married to Girl #1? She should've realized his feelings for her and returned them since they're gonna be endgame anyway. Has this lady ever even been a teenage girl?

Plenty of teenage girls get tongue-tied around the one they love even if he or she is a perfectly nice, sweet person, it doesn't mean they're incompetent(especially when the girls are fictional characters in a world set out to punish them for not making progress and for trying to make progress at the same time, and the fact that the boy is a celebrity who is always made oblivious and kept distant enough from the girl so she can keep putting him on a pedestal and never truly get to know him). Plenty of teenage girls lose interest in one boy and so fall for another. Yet it's somehow only okay for boys to do it? Seriously?

And then for the episode "Ladybug", the reviewer continues to rag on Marinette, blaming her for the fact that her reaction to getting expelled was "I can't let that nasty Hawkmoth win", claiming she wasn't reacting like a normal teen or human in general would react in that scenario, completely ignoring the fact that it's TIKKI who doesn't comfort Marinette and forces her to focus on her duties as Ladybug and almost getting akumatized. She's right about the plot moving too fast, but she doesn't take into account WHY it's moving too fast, because the show doesn't focus on Marinette's inner struggle and what she has to go through. Instead of giving her time to process her thoughts after all that goes on and providing Tikki as a source of comfort and support(which she's, you know, SUPPOSED to be), they make Tikki berate her and force Marinette to push it to the side.

She's never allowed to feel. And that's why it hurts all the more when this woman insults Marinette for her perceived ineptitude, and she's fully allowed to dislike Marinette, critique her behaviors, dislike Luka, critique his role in the story etc., just don't reinforce a double standard as you do so and look closer: ultimately most of Marinette's problems are due to her not being permitted to FEEL. She's not allowed to be nervously in love, or be calm, or be offended, or be just not ready.

The writers keep pushing her in one direction, to be emotionless, to be selfless, to be nice, to be honest, to be "the mature/responsible one" to be a perfect little "Purrincess", to not push for or want anything for herself, even though the show is supposed to be about girl power! She does somewhat touch on that by saying that Ladybug never gets to "take a hit" and that the Marichat scene in Glaciator was too short, but she never goes into why everything is too-fast paced. And if she did, she wouldn't be saying everything she does about Marinette and Luka. Because Luka is more than just the "plot device" she dismisses him as.

He's like a calm oasis, the apple of the hurricane who keeps Marinette calm and just lets. her. breathe. He's possibly the only person who doesn't berate her, who doesn't mimic her, who doesn't insult her, who doesn't ignore her. And the one time he does, he apologizes RIGHT AWAY when he sees how sad she looks. And the funny thing is, I used to hate that scene, because when I first saw it, I thought "Oh man! Luka did the same thing as everyone else did once!" But now I see that it serves as a contrast, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to the other characters in the show. Whereas they never apologize for how they treat Marinette(and often she somehow ends up apologizing instead, sadly) and in fact seem oblivious to it at times or just don't care, Luka notices, Luka cares, and Luka apologizes. That shows that he cares about her and her feelings, unlike the rest of the characters in the show.

And while they do care about her, they're never held accountable for how they treat her. Anarka and Plagg are probably the only exceptions that I can think of(who contribute to the plot of course), but they're obviously not love interests, and the video doesn't talk about them, so I won't talk about them either. But my point is that this review, while good in other ways, is still problematic in this regard, for how it completely ignores Marinette's struggles and how they affect her, as well as the value of Luka's character(even if the show doesn't recognize it at times) and the POSITIVE effect they have on each other(especially since he actually, genuinely, wholeheartedly loves her and is patient with her, since Adrien is barely even her friend and Chat is pushy and entitled. And he has a life outside of her too, which this video chooses to ignore.)! So yeah, I'm sorry this took so long, but I just had to protect my favorite characters because that video did them so dirty. Thank you for coming to my Lukanette Ted Talk! Have a miraculous day! ;3

...Wow????

Can I just say wow??

Firstly, kudos to you for having the patience to not only write all of that, but simultaneous deal within Tumblr’s limitations while doing so? I almost wish I had a video detailing all of these topics (not exactly a video response to that person, but just detailing all of this without explicitly calling people out).

Secondly, I absolutely, 100% feel you on the double standards. I have seen so much hypocrisy in my experiences and it’s insane how people will bash Marinette relentlessly and then let Adrien off with a bunch of excuses, or hate Luka for essentially existing and then accept Kagami.

I also hate the idea of disliking Luka because he’s there to make Marinette feel better, and then liking Kagami because she causes conflict, like the implication is that conflict equals good and things that make Marinette feel loved and cared for are bad because love square endgame, I guess.

It’s exhausting, especially when Marinette is fourteen, clearly tries, but is getting no support. Like, have you ever thought how weird it was that Tom and Sabine seemingly knew back in “Gamer” that Marinette was crushing on Adrien, but in “Weredad,” they don’t worry about the fact that Marinette is into someone else or wonder what might’ve happened with Adrien, like if he might’ve hurt her in some way? If the assumption is, “oh, they just think that’s a teenage thing, flip-flopping between love interests,” well... Tom clearly takes what he thinks to be her current crush very seriously, and even if it was true that they presume she’s just flip-flopping, that really doesn’t show them to see Marinette as more than just a clumsy teenager-in-love stereotype.

So yeah, the characters who are meant to be there to support her ask no questions, but here’s Luka with his sweet “you can tell me everything or nothing, you can be yourself around me,” line, and yet... Luka is the problem???

Sure, how dare this sweet boy NOT cause Marinette more stress. He makes Marinette feel better about herself and therefore he’s “pointless” (which, really, is the true mark of someone who doesn’t care about Marinette).

Ugh.

But yeah, in conclusion, people can have insane double standards when it comes to Luka and Marinette, and thank you for the Lukanette Ted Talk, this was a really good piece! You have a nice day too! ;3

(note: the below ask seems to cut short at the end and I didn’t get a message back about it but I at least wanted to have it here so the anon has (most of?) their story heard even if I can’t properly comment on it:)

Anonymous said:

Relating to the ask about Marinette imagining the events of the series. For me it would be realistic as I sort of see myself in her position for some parts, especially how her friends are represent (mainly Alya) and I can see myself picturing the events of the story (surrounding them) to some extent.

I'm continuing on to explain and rant about how I relate to Marinette. So about Alya's pushiness with Marinette's crush and how she won't let her move on. I used to be sort of friends with this person and one day we hanging out at school and she started badgering me to tell her who my crush was, even though I told her I didn't have one (I didn't have one but even if I did it wasn't her business, especially because we hadn't really interacted for a couple years).

She pressured me enough that I felt the need to make up a person, then she called me out just after I did it because she knew I was lying but didn't realise how uncomfortable I was lucky we were by ourselves so no one could hear how embarrassing it was. It still is but I sort have gotten over it (that's why I'm hear complaining). For her being made to sit by herself because everyone else paired of, I can relate.

I have never been the person who is really close with the friend group (probably because I'm quiet and struggle to interact with others), but I still I hang out during class time, but there have been times when two of the friends sat together and the other friend chose not to sit with me but just in front of me (the tables can fit two people at them) until one friend I went to primary school asked "what about [me]", so them she sat next to me.

The person I went to primary school with also has chosen to sit with the person who was not to sit with me so she could sit closer to the other two friends diagonally across from me on the table next to mine. I can understand Marinette in The Chameleon for how she would of felt when her friends turned in because I am left wondering if my friends even like me, although primary school friend sometimes tried to get to wait with them when we were waiting for the teacher to show up.

As I mentioned earlier I anxious when trying to interact with people who are even considered my friends so I wait for them to invite me to hangout with them. And for the ending of The Chameleon when everything went back to normal, in primary school we had this task we were told research a person and write a biography on them so as the teacher told us we were writing a good copy and the work in our books was a rough draft.

I wrote the information down as I would the good copy to make sure I was happy with it. When we were writing the good copy, I started to worry I had done something wrong as I had seen my friends work and they bith had just written down the facts. So as my friends and I kept having arguments and fights so I told them that I hoped I remembered to spell all the names correctly because they were not names I was knew how to spell which was true so they didn't question it as I could tell they did

[spectrumed]

1. piano

The brain is a musical instrument. How it sounds all depends on who is playing it. The keys, the strings, the tubes, the circuits, none of them make noise on their own. Some may argue (some very aggressively) that every instrument has one exact way that it should be played. That there is one correct way to play the piano, and then there’s several incorrect (deviant!) ways to play the piano. But a classically trained pianist will not play the piano in quite the same way as a self-taught jazz pianist will play the piano. Sure, the latter does employ some stylings unique to them. They have an idiosyncratic way of playing that makes their sound highly notable, possibly even sought after. While the former, the classically trained musician, they’ve been taught to minimise many of those quirky individual traits that could, potentially, distract from the classical compositions that they will be playing. In jazz, music is carried by unique characters and a strong sense of individualism. In classical, music is carried by tradition, norm, and history.

It should not be understood that the classically trained musician plays without soul or passion. While we, in the western world, have become more and more infatuated with the idea of the self-made artist, the amateur who makes their way to success and stardom solely through will, and quite often a manic compulsion to create, there is no wrong way to play an instrument. However you make it work, whatever sounds you are able to produce, you are playing that instrument. You are channeling your inner essence into the music you are performing, no matter what genre you belong to. No-one plays their instrument the exact same way, for certain, but everyone is playing with what they’ve got.

How do you think? You’re used to being asked “what do you think?” But how do you think? Do you see pictures in your head? Do you experience an inner monologue? Are you riddled with anxiety? Have you ever hallucinated? Do you think that you think good, or do you think that you think bad? If we return to our metaphor of the brain as a musical instrument, what sort of music do you think you’d play? Sure, there’s the classical world, and the jazz world, but of course, that’s hardly the music most people will listen to nowadays. Do you think in pop songs? Or do you think in big heavy metal epics? Or maybe what you are is a maniac for dance music. You may find like-minded friends who like the same kind of music as you do. I think that there is a correlation between what music we like and how we perceive the world. Does listening to a certain song send you back? Does a certain tune evoke memories that you may have thought were long since gone? I know that there are some folks out there who say that they do not care much for music, and while I don’t doubt that they absolutely do feel that way, I can personally not imagine where I’d be without my trusty set of headphones and my phone loaded up with a wide library of music I like. It seems to me that music is primal. Almost as if only by understanding music, can one come to understand consciousness. To nab a song title from Jethro Tull (the band, not the agriculturalist,) life is a long song.

But I do admit that I come from a biased perspective. Music means much to me. I’m no musician, but I think that partly stems from a desire to not see “how the sausage is made.” I’d like to be able to listen to a composition without feeling compelled to analyse it, or to study it. I’d rather eat the sausage without having to wonder what bits of the animals this meat came from. Is that the taste of a spleen or a testicle? There are plenty of other things in life to dissect and tear apart just to examine. Perhaps what I wish is to maintain an arcane approach to music. Perhaps I am too enamoured by the idea of the musician as a mystic able to tap into an elevated state of being, some spiritual realm divorced from our own. That look on the guitarist’s face when they successfully manages to convey just the right emotional tone perfectly with that solo. The frisson you feel when the song reaches its climax. That thing we call the sublime. To explain it, well, it simply feels like you are making something splendid mundane. It seems to rob it of its power. Or… Well, maybe that’s not it all. Maybe all I want is just a moment or two when I can relax and avoid thinking about things. For a moment, I’d just like to forget that I’m a person.

The world is so loud. Really, I can guarantee you that if you didn’t have those natural mental filters that we all have, you’d go insane. Every little sound. Every little bit of stimuli. It would all overwhelm you. It would burrow deep into your consciousness, and it would refuse to leave. Ever tried to fall asleep while hearing the dripping water from a leaky tap? Drip, drip, drip. Know how impossible that feels? Well, imagine if you had that feeling always, imagine if all noise felt that visceral and in-your-face. Lucky you’ve got those filters. Turns out, not everyone has them. I don’t. It fucking sucks.

Music is lovely, because music is organised. It has structure. You can listen to a song, remember it, and then follow along as you’re listening to it a second time. Music follows a pattern. There is a logic to patterns. But the everyday noises that surround us do not follow a pattern. Let me tell you, birds are infuriating animals. Sure, their individual little songs can be nice to listen to, but when all the birds of the forest come together, they don’t perform as an orchestra. No, they’re all just doing their own solo piece, completely oblivious to the sounds going on around them. I’m thinking that nature could have done well with a conductor. Someone competent to create order. To make it all just that bit more peaceful. I don’t have those filters others take for granted. I can’t ignore sounds. And that makes the world feel so loud.

It is neat to imagine the human brain as a musical instrument. You can imagine that seasoned player, that old session stalwart who’s played on all the most famous pop hits throughout the decades, and you want to imagine them playing with grace and finesse and showcasing all the amazing sounds that the instrument can produce. But the brain isn’t really some marvel of biological engineering. It’s not intelligently designed. It’s actually just a piece of meat hiding underneath layers of bone, skin, and hair. It’s a complex bit of meat, admittedly. It’s hard to understand exactly how the brain does work. But if you were to open up a person’s cranium, rather than feeling awe, you’d most likely feel grossed out. This thing that we’re supposed to think of as a miraculous product of millennia of evolutionary progress, it looks… Well, it looks awfully pinkish, and wrinkly, and frankly unpleasant.

We’re all mortal beings, made from squishy flesh and blood, scraped together from all that was available at the time. Sure, we may dream and fantasise about one day achieving those heights we aspire towards, to become that perfect superman, whose cognitive abilities put them on par with the mythological titans of the past. But really, we’re all just trying to do our best with what we’ve got. You may not be able to play the finest of Mozart’s many symphonies, the instrument that you’ve been given just simply isn’t up to snuff. Even if all you can play is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, that shouldn’t weigh on your value as a human being. And besides, that’s still Mozart you’re playing.

I will undoubtedly get back to discussing music in later instalments of this blog. It is truly a major part of my world, and without the joys I associate with it, I would be in a far worse place. But I think that, ultimately, what I wish to arrive at, is the fact that our sensory perceptions have a significant impact on how we piece together our sense of self. While it may be an unnerving thought to consider, what would happen to our understanding of ourselves if we one day were to lose one of our major senses? I am sure that many people could go without their sense of smell. Humans have long since abandoned smell as a dominant sense. To a dog, on the other hand, to lose its sense of smell would be devastating. It would lose part of what it means to be a dog. For humans, we enjoy the scent of freshly baked bread, the whiff of somebody’s perfume, or the bouquet of some pricey bottle of wine. But that’s nothing to what dogs get out of their sense of smell. To a dog, its sense of smell is its world. Is a dog even a dog if it can’t sniff around? Do you think dogs ever take their sense of smell for granted?

I do not think that humans are what we eat, but I suspect that we may be what we perceive. Our consciousness does not exist independently of the world that surrounds it, but rather, it is formed by the outside stimuli it receives on a constant basis. The fury of noises, lights, smells, all kinds of impressions, it shapes you. It is what our memories are built on. I am not at all certain that there exists anything more to the mind beyond that. I doubt that we’ve got some immutable soul hidden underneath it all. Humans are the collection of thoughts and ideas that we’ve attached ourselves to throughout our lives, and naturally, if you’re neurodivergent, that process is going to happen differently to most. At times those differences will be large enough that it can create real conflicts with those others around you. Effectively, to be neurodivergent is to suffer constantly from culture shocks. To me, it is natural to loathe the cacophony of birds in the summer. Their screams feel like piercing needles embedding themselves into my skin. But I try telling that to others, and I’ve yet to find anybody who agrees with me.

So, am I just wrong? Am I mistaken? Am I a freak? Why can’t I just be like everybody else? Why must I be such a buzzkill? I can’t even enjoy birdsong, I really must be a pain to be around. How did it come about that I just can’t be normal? Normal. I want to be normal. It is and it will likely always be grossly underrated to just be normal. Normal people don’t know how good they have it. They’re just too normal to be able to perceive it. When you’ve never been without it, you don’t know what it is to miss it. Normalcy. Having a normal brain. Having others see you as a normal person. Only if you didn’t have it, would you know how great it is. Do you sometimes wonder if dogs know how much they’d miss their sense of smell if they ever were to lose it?

Then again, there is no such thing as normal, is there? If you were to take the world’s most average person, then that person would be abnormal. To be a person is to be unique. We’re all special snowflakes. Aren’t we?

You may not play your instrument in a conventional manner, but who’s to say what manner counts as conventional? It’s all just so arbitrary. Who’s to say you can’t play an acoustic guitar as a drum? Who’s to say you can’t treat your piano as a percussion instrument? Smack your cello with a flute, if you’d like. Isn’t it just delightful when you see a unique performer who is able to play their instrument in a way you could never before have conceived it being played? The novelty of it all. The absolute joy of being exposed to something different. Of seeing something that can barely be believed. You love things that are unusual, and you think people who are different should delight in being different. Surely, it is better than being normal and boring?

But is it all that bad to be boring? And you may love what’s different, but when it comes down to it, despite your positive inclination, you still perceive it as being the other. It is not you. It is not mainstream, it is underground. Secluded. Deviant. Those who truly do struggle to fit in with society, to be just like everybody else, they are constantly faced with these little reminders that they just don’t belong. They are humans (at least they think they are humans,) but they’re not like other humans they know. For as much as they get told that they should embrace their quirky nature as simply being who they are, it is hard to know what it is like to be not normal, when all you’ve ever been is normal. Sure, for a performance or two, it’s fun. It’s fun to get the attention, to be seen as having something others don’t have. But then, at the end of the day, all you want is to be able to fall asleep, without the birdsong outside your window keeping you awake.

[lycorogue]

“What did you expect me to do?”: In Defense of the Car Scene and Alya

Okay, so I’ve been seeing a lot of salt lately (and I tend to follow blogs that stay positive and relatively salt-free with regards to the fandom) about the car scene towards the end of the Miraculous Ladybug NY special.

Mainly the “stupidity” of the writers having Alya demand that Marinette should have said something to Adrien when the car pulled up.

“Couldn’t you see he was just waiting for you to tell him to stay?”

I’ve seen fans counter “it’s not like it would have changed anything” or “what could she do against his father’s wishes” or “her asking him to stay wouldn’t have stopped Gabriel from demanding he come along” and other such arguments.

And, yes, as viewers and as adults (I believe most, if not all, of the blogs I follow are run by adults), WE know that those are all true. Gabriel, as Hawk Moth, has just set a dangerous supervillain lose on the city with a way to make NYC even MORE dangerous by turning the superheroes against the city as well. He wants his son the HELL out of there ASAP. Nothing anyone would say could change his mind.

We also know that the only reason Adrien was allowed to go in the first place was because Gabe-y was going to NYC himself and figured it was a convenient way to not have to hide that he’d be even MORE absent from Adrien’s life for a few days. Especially given that Nathalie is clearly bedridden after the events of the S3 finale and so Gabriel can’t even outsource his parenting onto her.

HOWEVER, as the CHARACTERS, none of them know that.

What they DO know is that Marinette is apparently a miracle worker. As far as they are concerned, Marinette is the Mr. Agreste Whisperer. There have been a couple of times that she was able to convince Gabriel to let Adrien do something. If she’s involved, he can go to birthday parties. He can host a Christmas dinner. He can return to school. He can sneak off to a movie. He can do impromptu photo shoots for his friend’s fashion line. He can go on international class trips. Heck, the fashion show that showcased Marinette’s winning derby hat MAGICALLY DREW GABRIEL AGRESTE HIMSELF OUT OF HIS HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS! One of the FEW times he’s left his mansion in a year (at least). 

If Marinette could do all that, despite the odds, despite Gabriel Agreste seemingly being steadfast in his decision, then why can’t she do so again? Why couldn’t she ask Adrien to stay with them, and then try to talk Mr. Agreste into allowing it?

She refused to sit idly by when Adrien said he wouldn’t be able to go on the New York trip. She stormed over to the Agreste mansion and “convinced” Mr. Agreste to let his son come. 

“My father told me everything. The only reason I can enjoy this beautiful sunset is you. I thought it would be impossible, but you believed in it. You're always willing to take a chance on something or someone, even when no one else is.”

...even when no one else is.

Marinette doesn’t give up on anyone or anything!

Until that moment. That moment when Adrien desperately needed someone to fight for him, to prove to him he’s worth fighting for, to validate that people DO value him and want him to stay. The moment when Adrien needed Marinette’s determination and positivity the most, and she failed him. (Not to salt on Marinette. I totally get why she froze. I’m just putting this in the perspective of the characters)

He had told Marinette that “You're always willing to take a chance on something or someone, even when no one else is,” and yet, apparently this is the point where Marinette draws the line. This is when she’s no longer willing to take that chance. HE’S not worthy of that chance anymore, and with everything that just happened between him and Ladybug, he FEELS that to his core.

Alya sees this. Alya can SENSE how much Adrien needed his defender in that moment, and Marinette just threw in the towel on him. Yes, Nino begged Adrien to not go, but it’s been shown multiple times that Nino truly doesn’t have any power over what Adrien can and can’t do. Sure, it may be a small bit of comfort that Nino wanted him to stay, but it wasn’t what Adrien needed in that moment. 

THAT is why Alya was so pissed at Marinette. All those times that the girl did over-the-top stunts to try to get Adrien’s attention. All the times Marinette has gone to bat for Adrien over “silly” things in the past. All the energy Marinette puts into proving Lila is lying. Then the ONE TIME someone clearly needs her to go to bat for them, and she BAILS!? THAT is when Marinette suddenly doesn’t think Adrien’s worth the effort!? Worse comes to worst, if Gabriel shrugs Marinette off and still demands that Adrien comes with, at least then Adrien still knows someone is willing to fight on his behalf, and that’s something.

But this? Not a single word? It snaps Alya. Trying to get over Adrien is one thing, but now Marinette is overcompensating to the extreme where she’s not even being a good FRIEND to him. Nope. This shit is NOT going to fly with her.

So she storms up to her bestie. She yells at her. She has no clue what inner turmoil is going on with Marinette. She knows nothing of Chat Noir. Honestly, at that moment I don’t think she even realizes Ladybug and Chat Noir are in NYC.

True, it’s a dumb move to send Marinette racing after Adrien in the rain when the city is on lockdown and a dangerous supervillain is on the lose. I’m sure Alya beat herself up about that the moment Marinette was out of view and Alya had a moment to calm down.

BUT THE GIRL IS FOURTEEN! SHE’S ALLOWED TO BE LASER FOCUSED AND NOT SEE THE BIG PICTURE WHEN HER EMOTIONS TAKE HOLD. KIDS ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES.

Also, let’s just face the facts. The amount of times Alya puts HERSELF in danger for a scoop, she probably doesn’t even truly grasp the potential consequences. I mean, yeah, she’s cut back on the self-endangerment a lot after becoming Rena Rouge, but still. Besides, NYC is flooded with superheroes, and at this point none of them have been influenced by the supervillian yet. As far as Alya’s concerned, how much danger could Marinette truly get in, right?

Plus, Alya never expressly told Marinette to go full-romcom-trope and chase Adrien down; meet him at the airport to beg him to stay. She just yelled at her best friend to shake her out of whatever teenage BS was going on with her trying to get over Adrien and make a flippin’ decision already (not that Alya was making that easy, but that’s for another post). Marinette simply made that decision on her own and Alya didn’t stop her. Maybe she tried, but Marinette moved too quick. We don’t know. The camera was on Marinette.

That notwithstanding, once Alya sees the news and knows that Marinette is now MIA, she probably has a MAJOR breakdown. We didn’t see it because it wasn’t important to the plot, but I trust that Alya doted heavily on Marinette the second she returned. Apologizing for her outburst and not focusing on if Marinette was okay. This is probably also where that 180 about deciding how Marinette feels about Adrien came from. Alya demanding Marinette figure it out NOW potentially put her in danger, so instead Alya has decided that Marinette SHOULD go at her own pace; there’s always tomorrow. We’ll see if that continues in s4.

Now, would I have written this whole car scene differently to try to avoid all of those narrative pitfalls? Maybe, but I’m also not a professional scriptwriter, so I can’t really critique those who are for their judgement calls. They went for the emotional gut-punch, and they kept the characters in-character. That’s all I can really ask for from them. 

At the end of the day, while it is always nice when shows take on the responsibility to educate their viewers and show them healthier ways to accomplish things, it’s not expressly their job. Their job is to entertain, and that scene WAS entertainment. It’s only with emotional and mental maturity, as well as an analytical and critical eye, does this scene present itself as problematic and therefore no longer enjoyable, despite it being fairly accurate with regards to how teenagers might think. 

Now, I’m not saying we CAN’T criticize the show. By all means, go ahead. I am still reading the salt and internalizing why it’s there so that I can learn and be better with my own writing. However, we should also be aware of how our own views and personal demands on storytellers might jade us to the show. In doing so, we should then be cautious about HOW we criticize the show, because the last thing this fandom needs is more salt.

[justkeeptrekkin]

Slow dancing as Good Omens fic prompt? I think slow dancing can be really intimate because of the proximity, the looks, the music...

bless you, anon. 

***

Aziraphale had never really felt lonely before. 

It may come as a surprise to many, but, truly, Aziraphale had never felt lonely. He is an angel who appreciates having time to himself. He is an angel who has chosen to roam Earth on an extended solo holiday for roughly six thousand years, Eat Pray Love style. He is an angel who has set up wards all around his bookshop so every customer is miraculously coerced into leaving the shop after ten minutes of perusing. Up in Heaven, Aziraphale is famous for being a soft, squishy introvert- baffling all the angels, archangels, cherubs and occasional saint. 

Being alone is nice. 

Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. 

Now, Aziraphale does feel lonely. He stands in the centre of his empty bookshop. A bookshop filled with inanimate, dusty things, but no one there other than him. All these books that he’s always valued so highly, loved so dearly- he still does- but somehow, now, they’re all disappointing to him. The shop feels desolate. The dust particles dancing in the air no longer appear beautifully ethereal, only melancholic; the light pouring through the windowed dome up above feels pale and watery; the silence funerary. 

Aziraphale rests a hand on a copy of Milton’s Paradise Lost, and thinks of what he might be missing. 

A loud voice in his head tells him that he shouldn’t be thinking- why is he even trying to think about this? The answer is right there, sitting inside him and squirming happily, nervously, miserably. He knows what’s missing, what’s always been missing, yet what’s been there this whole time. Waiting for him. Staring at the chessboard expectantly for him to make his move. Handing over briefcases of books and offering lifts home. And it’s only really since the flop that was the apocalypse last week that he’s seen it for what it is. A perfect clarity, a glorious surety that Aziraphale has never, ever experienced till now- about anything.

It doesn’t come to him in a thought. The decision isn’t made through any logical thought process like: I know what to do. No, it comes to him in a surge, too sudden and overwhelming to hold back or consider for too long. Too sudden for his usual cowardice. 

Aziraphale’s feet take him to the phone. He runs his fingers through the numbers, turning the dial, and waits. 

He waits only three seconds.

“Alright, Angel.”

And it’s like that surge disappears as quickly as it came- a burst of air lifting a leaf off the ground, only to let it fall, fluttering to the cold, damp ground of reality. Aziraphale swallows. Feels the moment catch up with him with horrifying speed.

What is he meant to say now?

“H-hello, Crowley,” he says through a forced smile, though Crowley’s not there to see it. “I was. Well, I was just wondering.”

There’s a pause. A long one. Aziraphale’s mouth clamps shut. Now is not the time to falter, he thinks to himself. 

“Must be a big thing.” 

“Sorry?” he breathes, broken from his reverie.

“Big thing. That you’re wondering about. If you’re calling me and breathing down the phone. I can practically feel the anxiety creeping through the wires.”

His mouth opens and closes. Then opens again. And he croaks, “Yes. Um, what I wanted to say was. Was this.” He hesitates, but only for a beat too long. He scrunches his eyes closed. Scrunches them so tightly he can see stars. “Music.”

“Music?” Crowley repeats immediately, dumbfounded.

“Yes.”

“Music.”

“Yes,” he replies, sounding irritated. He’s irritated at himself more than Crowley. He’s rolling his eyes to himself for being so absurdly flappable. He is always the first to be flapped by the silliest things. 

“Right.” A pause. “You. So. Yeah, you’ve got to help me out here, Angel.” 

“What I mean to say- very, very badly, really,” he says, wincing again, “is whether you’d like to come round to the shop. Help me sort through my mess of a record collection that you’ve been nagging me about since 1964.”

Another pause. Then, “Oh.” Pause. Aziraphale’s perfect posture stiffens impossibly further. Ankles together, foot tapping. “Yeah. Well, what’s all the fuss about then? You sound stressed. Like a… a stressed person. Not a person asking someone round for a drink and some music.” Pause. “There will be drink, won’t there?”

It’s impossible that he finds himself smiling and relaxing, given how far up his throat his heart is currently climbing. And yet. “Oh yes. Don’t you worry, my dear, there will always be drink pouring.”

“Alright. Well, yes. Obviously yes. Even if you’re being weird. You are aware that you’re being weird, aren’t you?”

“Painfully aware, yes,” Aziraphale answers truthfully. Then, quickly, “Shall I uncork the Montepulciano and let it breathe?”

***

They’re on their knees by a teetering stack of vinyl records. The bottle of Montepulciano is finished and there’s another uncorked on the desk beside them. There’s the smell of grapes and dust, a combination that’s become a smell of home to Aziraphale. Made all the more familiar and comforting by Crowley being here, by his side, tearing his beautiful red hair out in annoyance. 

“This one isn’t even in a sleeve,” Crowley announces, aghast. He waves the vinyl in Aziraphale’s face, yellow eyes wide. “When are you going to look after the rest of your things the same way you look after books?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he replies casually, knowing that’ll just infuriate Crowley further. 

It does- he growls desperately, creating a new neat pile of vinyls without sleeves, next to the piano music pile, to the right of the 1500-1600s classical pile. Aziraphale smiles sweetly at him, and Crowley points an accusatory finger, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

“You,” he starts. “You need to get some shelves. Otherwise. Otherwise, I’ll come round here every day to check that you’re putting them somewhere safe.”

I wouldn’t stop you, Aziraphale thinks. I invited you here because you fill up my life. He says, “I don’t have room for shelves.”

Crowley’s mouth hangs open. He casts his gaze about the shop, gestures to the room. “It’s a bookshop! Tonnes of shelves! What’s one more pissing shelf going to do? Tear the fabric of the universe? ‘Sides,” he slurs, one class of red too many perhaps, “you could just extend the shop a smidge or two. Miracle it a cheeky inch or two bigger. Encroach on the neighbours’ space, sure they won’t notice.”

“Perhaps.” He thinks about this as Crowley blows the dust off a vinyl record of Mendelssohn. “Although I reckon they would. Humans can be horribly observant.”

Crowley hums knowingly. “Oh, yeah. When they want to be. When they don’t, they’ll turn a blind eye to anything.”

Aziraphale watches Crowley for a second longer. Tears his gaze away and looks down at the Glenn Miller record in his hands. He feels the dog-eared edges, soft cardboard between his fingers. He peers down at the smiling, black and white image of Miller and he’s taken immediately back to 1941. The Blitz, the smell of ash and smoke and the smallest, most precious moment of fingers touching. A feeling of pure adoration that’s never left him- that’s been there since the beginning, waiting. Triggered by one moment. 

And just like before when his feet took him to the phone, Aziraphale’s body is taken by a surge of surety, bravery, knowledge of what he wants- damned if it’s right or wrong. (How freeing it is, to no longer have Heaven watching.) He removes the record from its sleeve and with his free hand, lifts the pin of the gramophone. Crowley stills where he’s knelt by Aziraphale’s feet, and they both listen to the crackle of dust being picked up by the pin. 

Aziraphale stands by the gramophone and closes his eyes. Moonlight Serenade begins to play and he takes a deep, grounding breath. 

“You remember that day,” he says, neither explaining nor opening his eyes to look down at Crowley. 

His response is quiet, and almost immediate. “Yes.” 

Aziraphale smiles. “I believe I owe you a dance.”

“You-”

“Don’t think of it as a ‘thank you’,” he continues. “I know you don’t like those. Perhaps just a dance?”

When he finally opens his eyes, it’s only after another deep breath- the nerves have made him forget how to breathe any other way. The shop is getting dark. The light is grey, there’s the quiet sound of rain hissing against the windows, and the song continues to play. And through the haze of dust and stacks of records he sees Crowley, kneeling at his feet, looking up at him with a look as if he doesn’t trust what he’s hearing. 

Aziraphale therefore adjusts the look on his own face, betraying his nervousness, and smiles. It comes more easily than he thought it would. 

He extends a hand. 

Crowley looks at the hand. Lips parting and mouthing something silently, uncertainly. Then he croaks, “The 40s was a wonderful time for music, if nothing else.”

And he feels Crowley’s hand slip into his. It doesn’t send a jolt of anxiety or excitement, it doesn’t set off fireworks or give him butterflies like he imagined it would. It feels perfectly natural. 

As Crowley stands up to his full height and looks at Aziraphale, he doesn’t let go of his hand. 

The music sounds distant. Each passing moment feels very real. Crowley has frozen. Aziraphale knows all too well how paralysing this uncertainty is- and so he takes Crowley’s other hand and guides it to his waist. He sees Crowley’s eyes flutter and widen, hears his throat click as he swallows, feels his fingers grip harder on Azirphale’s hand. 

“I think,” Aziraphale supplies once he’s shown Crowley’s where to put his hand, an abbreviated version of: I think that’s where your hand should go, although I’ve never done this before since I’ve only ever really wanted to do something like this with you, and I’m only just brave enough to do it now, and I hope I’m not misreading things and wrongly assuming you want this too. 

Crowley nods. He nods and nods and nods compulsively, swallows again and fumbles for words. Hand warm in Aziraphale’s, warm on his waist. “Yeah,” Crowley manages. “Yeah. I’d say this is- seems about right.”

And Aziraphale rests his hand carefully- so carefully- on Crowley’s shoulder. He leaves it there and neither of them move. They stare at each other in disbelief that this is happening. They stare in disbelief that it took this long. They stare at each other, waiting for the other to start dancing, to explain what comes next, anything. Crowley’s eyes wide and his brows pinched, lips parted.

“Aziraphale?” he asks weakly.

And then it feels easy, heartbreakingly easy. Easy to smile, easy to be the brave one for once, to let Crowley be vulnerable. Easy to let the thousands of years pour through him and between them, between joined hands. 

“Come here, my dear.”

Aziraphale steps closer. Fingers gripping tighter, frightened of what might happen if the other lets go. Would this moment disappear, as if it never happened at all? 

Aziraphale tilts his head towards the ground and looks up at Crowley through his lashes. A gesture that is shy and self-conscious and happy. And Crowley huffs- a laugh, perhaps, or a sigh, he isn’t sure. He feels his breathe blossom against his skin. 

He closes his eyes. He feels it all. He absorbs all the time spent together, all the time lost. The music brings them absent-mindedly swaying from side to side, and Aziraphale rests his cheek against Crowley’s. He’s warm. When he cracks his eyes open he’s welcomed by an auburn blur. The hand on his waist finds his back, and there’s the rush of a sigh beside Aziraphale’s ear. Then, a forehead against Aziraphale’s shoulder. 

The song ends, the gramophone crackling to a stop. They dance in each other’s arms for a little longer, in a shop no longer empty. 

[mirroredtranslations]

Jinrui Saikyou no Netsuai - Chapter 11

From Jinrui Saikyou no Jun'ai by Nisioisin

[Previous Chapter]

Words are funny things—sometimes they lose strength through emphasis. Simple example: saying something’s “super amazing” is less powerful than just “amazing.” Shortening “sadist” and “masochist” to “ultra-S” and “ultra-M” makes the words less weighty, and saying you’re “platinum mad” might sound like you’re not actually that angry. On the other hand, saying “simply cannot” makes the sense of denial stronger compared to just saying “cannot.” Basically, if you’re not careful with your emphasis, you could end up sounding real funny. Nevertheless, I have no doubt that Doctor Kitsuregawa’s final experiment, the “Lamp of the Destitute,” was such a breakthrough that you could hardly begin to describe it even with all the emphatic expressions in the world. Call this a paradigm shift, huh… When a true advance in technology or a revolutionary way of thinking turns all of the accepted truths up ‘til that point into nothing but rotting floorboards—into deprecated, useless tech. It’s hard to say whether this experiment’s success was evidence of the power of Doctor Kitsuregawa’s mad-scientist antics, or, to put it mildly, his eccentricity coming to bear (even that “Closet” space suit might have been adopted by space agencies around the world, but it’ll never be the normal standard—I’m sure that would be pretty unprofitable), but it can’t be denied that the “Lamp of the Destitute” and the gaseous life form “Flare” had the power not only to overturn the world as we know it, but also to force humanity out of its position at the top of the evolutionary tree. Well, maybe I have to deny that. If I accepted it, then humanity—and, of course, humanity’s strongest—would lose all meaning; we’d be like abacuses after the arrival of calculators, like LDs after the arrival of DVDs and BDs. Unable to coexist, or rather, lacking a constructive reason to coexist—

“Now, then. I believe most everything should probably be left unsaid at this point—however, quite frankly, Aikawa Jun, I must say I have a rather inconsistent impression of you.”

Inconsistent? After we’d returned to the dining room, she got all standoffish again, and surprised me with that.

“Matsuri has a different opinion, I’m sure, but you seem more… decent than I expected. That is the impression I have of you so far. Yet on the other hand, you seem to be in a much closer position to Doctor Kitsuregawa than me, his rightful successor. I am struggling to decide how to interpret this.”

You’re being pretty damn straightforward and honest with me, aren’t you. But, for my part, I think both of your opinions are true. Well, me being “more decent” than you expected is going to depend on your definition of “decent”—but me being in a close position to Doctor Kitsuregawa is something I’ve been feeling even since I got here.

“So, you understand, then? About the gaseous life form, Flare… We often call it nicknames like ‘Flay’ and ‘Flame,’ but in any case, you understand the significance of the new type of life. And what we are hesitating to do.”

Life form, huh. Scientifically speaking, the definition of life is complicated—the easiest definition is “having the ability to reproduce,” but that could mean computer viruses and worms were alive. You could also say that flames have the power to reproduce themselves; fires spread, catch, and whatnot; it’s tricks of verbiage.

“…Doctor Kitsuregawa—”

The next to speak was Shimegiwa Matsuri.

“—When he remodeled my arm, this is what he said: ‘We should not seek the future of humanity—we should seek what comes after humanity.’ That might be what Flare is. Thinking about it like that, I don’t think I have the right to carelessly do anything with it.”

Hmph. That’s a stiff turn of phrase he used, but to put it another way, he might as well have said, ‘Humanity has gotten old, so let’s exchange it for something new’—just like he exchanged his own body and personality. He essentially tried to bring about the end of humanity; it’s a different approach to apocalypse than Omokage Magokoro, Humanity’s End. I wonder why that old alchemist never got along with my fathers. The normal world is under the impression that a life form to supplant humanity could never come to be, because humanity’s scientific and technological progress has outsped natural evolution. But if that scientific and technological progress itself gave rise to “what comes after”…

“At this point I do not think it necessary, but allow me to go over the outline just in case. I do need to fulfill my duty of explanation, after all, as the second-generation Doctor Kitsuregawa. The ‘Lamp of the Destitute’ is an experiment in producing life beyond humanity—the purpose of creating me, a homunculus, was ‘to make a human using non-human parts,’ and Matsuri’s was about ‘turning the human body into vaporous form.’ Flare, then, is the result of instilling a superior life force into a gaseous body created using non-human materials. You are free to take the word ‘superior’ at face value here.”

Hmm. In other words, it’s “better” than a human’s, huh. If it weren’t, there’d be no reason to hesitate about continuing the research. Ultimately, that’s what this is all about. Second-generation Doctor Kitsuregawa, Hotsure-chan, and Shimegiwa are asking me what to do about the “Lamp of the Destitute,” without considering potential value. I doubt anyone could say they were just kids and cast them aside. After all, no adult could fully appreciate its value, either—depending on what happens next, it could very well put an end to human history, and that’s no exaggeration.

“Of course, that would be the worst-case scenario. But it is by no means a small possibility… Since you are the arbiter of strength, perhaps you have a better understanding of the power of a being capable of existing in gaseous form?”

I’m not the god of strength or whatever, you know… Well, thinking of my fight with Shimegiwa, I guess she’s right. I’ve casually shoved my right hand in my pocket, but this arm is still burned to a crisp—if the rule hadn’t been “whoever falls first loses,” I don’t know how I’d have ended up. …Hotsure-chan. The ‘Lamp of the Destitute’ isn’t stuck, is it? If you wanted to, you could continue the research, right?

“……”

The lack of response was response enough.

“What would you do, Aikawa Jun?”

Shimegiwa sounded like he was trying to back Hotsure-chan up. Well, judging from that defiant look, maybe Shimegiwa didn’t think the ‘Lamp of the Destitute’ was as dangerous as Hotsure-chan did. Me? What would I do, huh… I wonder. There’s an answer I could give you, but I don’t think it’s all that important in the current situation. After all, isn’t it up to second-generation Doctor Kitsuregawa, Hotsure-chan, to decide in the end? It’s hard for me to butt in. Or is your commission actually for me to determine whether this research is in the right or not? I’m not your professor, you know.

“Of course not. I am not trying to force the responsibility onto you. All responsibilities are mine, not simply the duty of explanation. As his second generation, I have undertaken that much from Doctor Kitsuregawa. It is only that… I am not as decisive as he was.”

Or maybe, you can’t get rid of that little thorn in your heart. Well, it was downright miraculous that the first-generation Doctor Kitsuregawa maintained his mental balance at all, so asking his second generation to come to the same decision, the exact same decision as he would have made, would be a pretty unreasonable demand. …If you have doubts, you have the option to abandon the research, don’t you? This was a question I didn’t need to ask, but as someone undertaking a job, it’s a question I wanted to ask anyway—I wanted to hear the answer from Hotsure-chan’s mouth. I wanted to hear her response. If you truly believe that the creation of this new life is bad news, then you should take your senses of ethics and crisis avoidance and smash that flask to pieces, no? If it’s just a candle in the wind.

“…That is something… I do not think… I am able to do.”

It was not an instantaneous answer, nor was it an assertive one—but, it was an answer with a firmness of will. However, it was not for the reasons I expected, like ‘this is the destiny of a scientist,’ or ‘even if it’s dangerous, I can’t discard such valuable research,’ or ‘I can’t let the efforts of first-generation Doctor Kitsuregawa go to waste.’

“Because—to take its life would just be too cruel, wouldn’t it?”

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

A Study in Allies

Until We Meet Again: Part 2/?

Thrawn x Senator!Reader, Female Pronouns

Summary: You and Thrawn meet again, your fascination only growing.

A/N: I’m not exactly sure where this is going. I plan this to be a series of one shots revolving around this Senator!Reader. If your interested in reading more about her and Thrawn, feel free to send any request my way! And remember REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS!!!

Word Count: 3.7K

       As much as you tried to fight it, Lieutenant Thrawn did not fully leave your mind for the next twenty-four hours.  

       You had spent the rest of the evening performing your duties, shaking hands and introducing yourself to as many of the movers and shakers of Courscant as you were able. But as you finally made it home and drifted off to sleep, your conversation with Thrawn was the only thing to remain in your memory.

       The next day was relatively light.  As soon as you finished your morning calls, you spent your time researching what you could on the Chiss and Thrawn in preparation for your next meeting.

         A small twinge of guilt twisted your stomach, but you suppressed it.  All Thrawn’s military exploits were public record.  It wasn’t as if you were digging up private, personal information. Besides, you had no doubt he was doing the same thing with you.   

       You ought to have been embarrassed by this strange new obsession, but he couldn’t help holding your fascination.  You hadn’t met anyone like him before. 

       You had heard stories about leaders in various systems throughout the years.  Conquerors, emperors, generals, all of which were described as having a strange aura of power and charisma.  An unflinching confidence that inspired people to rally behind them.  

       You had met many political leaders over the years, from kings to admirals.  None possessed the air described by the stories, except Thrawn.  It was a rare quality, often lamented as occurring only once in a lifetime. Was it so strange then to want to be in its presence again?

       Your comm rang, pulling your from your thoughts. 

       “Yes?”

       “Pardon me Senator,” Cora, your aid, called.  “But there is a Lieutenant Thrawn here to see you.”

       You straightened, feeling a small smile touch your lips.

       “Please, send him in.” 

       You stood from your desk as the door slid open. 

       Lieutenant Thrawn stood before you just as he had the night before; tall, confident, and dressed in his Imperial navy uniform.  A part of you wondered if he possessed any other type of clothing. 

       The light of day also helped to clear a suspicion you had been harboring; he was handsome. 

       “Good afternoon, Senator,” he greeted, inclining his head in respect. 

       “Good afternoon, Lieutenant,” you replied, matching his movement.  “Please, make yourself comfortable.”

       You gestured to a small table and chairs placed just to the right of your desk.  On the table was a small selection of fruits, meats and vegetables, along with a range of alcohols.  You hadn’t been sure how long the meeting would go and wanted to be prepared. 

       If Thrawn was in any way affected by the spread, he made no indication. 

       “Thank you.” 

       He took his time choosing a seat as his eyes wandered your office, pausing at each of the paintings and sculptures you had scattered throughout. 

       You followed his gaze, noticing how it lingered on one particular painting; an impressionist interpretation of the sky of Danu just as the sun was rising; it’s pinks and oranges contrasting and over powering the purples and dark blues of the night sky. It was a gift to your family by one of Danu’s prominent art museums, and one of your personal favorites. 

       You turned your eyes back to Thrawn, whose attention still remained on the painting.  

       “See something you like?” you asked, with just a hint of teasing. 

       Thrawn blinked, before turning to you.  His glowing red eyes now focused with inquisitive intensity.  

       “It is an interesting collection,” he said, smoothly. “Were these all selected yourself?”

       “Yes.  A bit eclectic perhaps, but I like them,” you said, taking the seat just across from him.

       “And those in the reception area?”

       You frowned, thinking of that rather gaudy display of golden vines and multi-colored flowers. “Those were chosen by Governor Lir. I’ll be replacing them once the commissions are finished.”

       Thrawn nodded in consideration.  “If you don’t mind, I would be interested in seeing them once they’re finished.  I assume you asked the painting to be done by an artist from Danu?” 

       “Yes,” you said carefully. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

       “Some of the sculptures have been done relatively recently,” Thrawn answered, easily. “Their subject matter and style match current trends in Danu art.  I assume if you’re having a piece commissioned you want to keep them in continuity with your office.”

       You wanted, very much, to ask him how he knew anything about current artistic trends on Danu or even how it was relevant. Upon brief reflection, however, you realized you didn’t have to. 

       You had done your research on him, he had done the same.  His searches simply lead him to invest an interest in Danu’s art scene.  And, considering what he was able to discern from the mural, it wasn’t so strange. 

       “I will say to make fast work,” he continued. “I understand you’ve only been on Coursant for a few weeks.” 

       You gave a casual shrug. “This will be my place of work and home for a long time if all goes according to plan. I might as well make myself comfortable.” 

       He raised his eyebrow slightly with an amused, possibly even impressed, half smile on his lips. 

       “Indeed.”

       You couldn’t help but smile yourself a little. “Now Lieutenant, I believe you’re here to listen to some stories. Where would you like to start?” 

       You weren’t sure how long the pair of you talked and you didn’t really care. 

       You related to him all the stories you could bring yourself to remember about the Chiss.  The image you had painted in your mind of honor bound warriors wasn’t as far off the mark as you believed they might have been, according to Thrawn.  But, like all stories faced with reality, there were some more nuanced shades of grey. 

       He didn’t openly share any new information.  But from small hints, decisive silences, and rather obvious dodges, you were starting to get a slightly clearer picture.  The Chiss were warriors certainly, but they had their own bureaucracy to contend with, family squabbles, and pride which was always found within such systems. A pride Thrawn most certainly possessed, whether he wished to acknowledge it or not. 

       “May I ask you a possibly personal question?” you asked, pouring you each another glass of wine. 

       “You may ask,” Thrawn said, a note of suspicion in his voice. 

       You gave a small laugh.  “It’s nothing too terrible, I hope. I simply wanted to know if Thrawn is your true name. From what I’ve come to understand, Chiss usually have much longer names.”

       His shoulders relaxed slightly. “We do. Thrawn is my core name.”

       “Then, what’s the rest of it? Or are outsiders not allowed to know?”

       “Others may hear it.  It is more a matter of efficiency,” he explained. “Those with Basic as their primary language have a difficult time pronouncing it. But, if you truly wish to know, my full name is Mitth’raw’nuruodo.” 

       “Mitth’raw’nuruodo,” you repeated back. 

       “Mitth’raw’nuruodo,” he corrected. 

       “Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”  This time you tried rolling the “r”s as he did. 

       “Mitth'raw'nuruodo.” 

       Your lip pursued in concentration.  You could hear how you were saying it wrong, but couldn’t quite figure out how to correct the mistake.  But you had to try at least once more. 

       “Mit-thra-nur-uod-o,” you said, deciding to disregard the “r” roll and simply pronounce each syllable as best you could.

       “Better,” Thrawn conceded. “But not quite.”

       You let out a sigh.  “I will get it eventually.”

       A small amused smile came to his lips. “You may try.”  

       It linger there a while longer, but a small shift in his eye convinced you it was about something else. 

       “Is there something else you find amusing?” you asked.

       “More interesting,” he said, diplomatically. “Your selection of stories is very different from others I’ve heard.”

       “How so?”

       “Ensign Vanto recounted stories of The Chiss’ military exploits or combat abilities.  No doubt you have heard the same. You, however, chose to tell stories referring to our culture and traditions.”

       “Maybe I assumed you have heard them before.”

       “Perhaps,” Thrawn said.  “But, unlikely.  You stated yourself how you admired the times of peace in the Republic. Tales of war do not hold your interest.”

       “Guns and battleships don’t hold my interest. It’s the people behind them that do,” you corrected. “Like you for instance.”

       “How do you mean?”

       You gave him a doubtful look.  “Don’t play that game.  You’ve done your research on me, it’s only fair I do the same.  I only wish to parse out facts from fiction.” 

       Thrawn watched you closely.  His glowing red eyes burned into you, but you did not look away as you did before.  You held your ground, until finally he relented. 

       “What have you learned?

       “Very little, I’m afraid,” you admitted, with a small smile. “Your recent military exploits speak for themselves.  By all accounts a series of miraculous victories pulled seemingly from thin air orchestrated by a brilliant military mind who should by all accounts be an Admiral, but is instead the first weapons officer. This most recent encounter with the Dromedar being emblematic of that.”

       He nodded.  “You’ve heard about my court marshal, I take it. “

       “There had to be some reason why you’re here,” you said, your expression turning apologetic. “I am truly sorry.  The navy has no right to pursue you in such a way.  As far as I’m concerned you made the right decision.  Life should always be valued over profit.  If there is any way I can help, please let me know.” 

       “I will,” he said, in a tone that made you feel as if not only did he mean it, but truly appreciated it. A small part of you had to wonder who, if anyone on Coruscant had offered him help. 

       “What else have you heard,” Thrawn prompted. 

       This part was tricky and for the first time that afternoon, you looked down.

       “I understand you were discovered in exile, though the reasons why vary from telling to telling.”

       “Which of these tellings do you believe?”

       You glanced up again.  

       Thrawn sat coolly in the chair.  His body and positioning were relaxed but still ultimately in control as he stared unblinking awaiting your answer. 

       You thought of the man before you, and the one described in the reports.  You thought of the priority of minimal casualties on both sides.  You thought of the crew of the Dromedar.  And you thought of the calculation in his responses when talking about his people. 

       “You ordered a preemptive strike on an enemy,” you said with a confidence foreign to you. “But I have a hard time believing it was done in a fit of blind ruthlessness.”

       “And what do you believe?” 

       He learned forward.  It was just a hair, not many would notice, but it was enough for you to know you had to choose your next words very carefully.

       “I think you would do whatever is necessary to protect who you perceive your people to be, whether it be your crew or The Chiss.” 

       “Do you?” he questioned.

       You nodded. “I know a little something about that.” 

       For a long moment, neither of you spoke. 

       “Yes,” Thrawn said, quietly as if to himself. “I believe you do.” 

       Something flashed across his features.  Understanding, perhaps?  Or maybe admiration?  

       You didn’t have time to question it as all too quickly, he leaned back and his unreadable mask slipped easily into place.  

       “You’re quite perceptive, Senator,” he commended. 

       “Not really,” you said, with a shrug. “In my experience people are very open about what they want either through their actions or outright stating it.  The only ones who aren’t are those who have yet to make up their mind.  You don’t strike me as the indecisive sort.”

       “Perhaps,” Thrawn said.  “But do not belittle your abilities.  Stating one’s wants is one thing, but often actions can be misinterpreted, their true meaning plagued by personal bias.  Being able to clearly see someone’s reasoning for their actions is a rare skill.” 

       “I’ll take your word for it,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm slightly. “But you’re avoiding the question.”

       “Which is?”

       “Am I right?”

       Thrawn was silent for a moment.  

       “You are right in the ways that matter,” he said. “I will always do what is necessary to protect my people.”

       You frowned, but knew better than to ask further.  Perhaps he wasn’t allowed to talk about the true reason for his exile. Which itself only lead to more questions.

       “Something else?” Thrawn asked.

       “Yes…” you said.  Your stomach twisted, unsure if what you were about to ask truly was crossing some invisible line.  But, you had come this far. 

       “Why join the Empire?”

       Thrawn stared a moment as if surprised by your question.  You didn’t blame him, but instead of anger or even indignantly you expected, there was just confusion.  “As I have stated, and you have observed, I will do what I feel is necessary to protect my people.”

       “So why not go back to them? How does joining the Empire do that?”

       Thrawn’s eyes darkened, his expression going distant, almost regretful. “There are many dangers in the galaxy.  Dangers greater than The Chiss Ascendancy or The Empire can face alone.  I believe an alliance is necessary to face such a danger.” 

       “Assuming the Empire doesn’t turn on you.”

       He glanced at you, titling his head curiously. “Do you believe it will?”

       “It doesn’t matter what I believe,” you dismissed. “You obviously believe it won’t.” 

       “But you do have your doubts.”

       It was your turn to remain silent as your own mind flashed to darker times. The Clone Wars. Your father. Danu torn apart and only now starting to rebuild.  

       You let out a tired sigh. “I suppose we each have to settle for an uneasy alliance to maintain peace for our people.”

       “Spoken like a diplomat,” Thrawn said, dryly.

       Your lip twisted into an ironic smile. “I have to get my practice in somewhere.” 

       Thrawn’s own lips turned upward slightly, giving just a hint of amusement.  It softened his features, if only a little.  You found you rather liked it. 

       His expression then shifted into an oddly thoughtful expression. 

       “Do you have a question for me?” you asked. 

       Thrawn shook his head.  “Not a question.  I was just musing on how you have heard so little of me and my people and yet are able to construct a fairly accurate picture.  While I comparatively have heard much of you, and yet the reality speaks to something entirely different.” 

       “And what have you heard of me?”

       For the first time since you met him he appeared uncomfortable. “I hesitate to say.  As I said, the reality is much different.”

       “I can take it,” you assured.  “I promise not to shoot the messenger.  And besides, you said it yourself; it’s often illuminating to hear stories about yourself from an outside source.”

       Thrawn nodded in consideration. 

       “I understand you were made Senator four months ago,” he began. “Your family has lived on Danu for generations and is highly regarded within its sphere of influence.  Your father was governor during the time of The Clone Wars, but was killed in a Seprestist attack.”  

       He bowed his head to you, his voice growing surprisingly gentle. “My sympathies.” 

       “Thank you,” you said, feeling your heart ache at the old wound. “Please, continue.” 

       “Governor Lir was appointed to the position soon after although not to the same success. He was the one to suggest the previous senator, Senator Trask. Unfortunately, Trask was eventually charged with corruption after being found in league with a pirate gang stealing and reselling food stuffs on the black market. Governor Lir was cleared of any involvement.  It was then, your name was selected to be Trask’s replacement.  From what I gathered, you made a name for yourself on Danu for various public works and, given your father’s legacy, it was the logical choice.”

       You nodded in understanding.  Governor Lir needed his name associated with your father’s to maintain his reputation.  The thought made your stomach twist unpleasantly.

       “As Colonel Yularen explained it to me, Danu lost much of its influence after the Clone Wars,” Thrawn continued. “It is now in direct control of its governors who are themselves controlled by Grand Moff Tarkin.”

       “So, I’m a puppet head. A naive heiress, picked out of a hat because of her father’s accomplishments,” you said, feeling like you were about to be sick. Was that why Lir had been so insistent on showing you around, introducing you as some non-threatening, pretty young thing? 

       You gave a dry scoff. “Not a very flattering portrait.” 

       “No,” Thrawn agreed.

       You laughed again, sincerely this time.  “You really need to work on your interpersonal skills if you’re going to survive Coruscant,” you said dryly.  You then let out a sigh. “Well, I’ve certainly got a much harder job ahead of me than I anticipated.”

       “Perhaps,” Thrawn said.  “Perhaps not. As I said before, what I have been told and what I have observed are very different.  You may use that to your advantage.” 

       “How?”

       “They will underestimate you.”

       It was said so calmly, so matter-of-factly you couldn’t help but be taken aback.

       “That implies I am more than what they make of me.”

       “You are.”

       And there it was again, that unwavering confidence that what he was saying was unquestionably right. 

       He raised an eyebrow. “Do you doubt me?”

       You blinked, pulling yourself back to the moment. 

       “I believe, you believe your words,” you said. “I can only hope you’re right.”

       “Time will tell.” 

       It was at that moment, your comm buzzed. 

       “Yes?” you asked. 

       “I’m sorry Senator,” Cora answered. “But you asked to remind you about your appointment with Governor Lir.”

       You frowned, but a quick look out the window told you she was right to do so.  The sun was just starting to set, and Governor Lir insisted on meeting before the next round of parties you needed to attend. 

       “Yes, thank you for reminding me.  Please message the Governor to let him know I’ll be a few minutes late.” 

       Cora offered an acknowledgement before clicking off the comm.  

       You gave Thrawn an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, I really do have to attend to this.”

       “Of course,” Thrawn said, rising from his seat.  “I will not keep you from your duties any longer.” 

       You rose as well.  “I only wish you could. You’re certainly more interesting company. Will you be joining in any of the festivities tonight?” 

       “I do not believe so.  Ensign Vanto and I must meet with the high command tomorrow.” 

       “Of course,” you said, feeling a twinge of regret.  It may be some time before you saw him again, if at all, but you pushed it down.  You each had your duties. 

       You met his eye then with a gentle smile.  “Thank you for your stories and advice.  And, please know you have a friend on Coruscant, should you need one.” 

       Thrawn gave you an odd look. “Are we friends?”

       “We were able to discuss art and politics without feeling compelled to throw things at each other.  If that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is,” you said, dryly. “But, if the word is too familiar, could we at least part as allies?” 

       You offered your hand. 

       Thrawn hesitated a moment, taking your words into careful consideration. 

       “I do not believe either term is exactly the right one, but for the sake of simplicity, friend will have to do.”  

       Your brows furrowed, unsure about what exactly he could mean. 

       He gave not further explanation as he took a small step forward and took your hand in his.  His skin was warm, warmer than you anticipated. He held you hand in an oddly gentle, but firm grip; his palms rough from years of experience and untold battles. It was a strange combination, but not unpleasant. 

       He held your gaze.  You couldn’t even guess what he was thinking, all you knew was that your throat was going dry and your heart was beating rapidly against your chest. 

       “Until we meet again, Senator,” he said. “I look forward to your career with interest.”

       “So do I, Lieutenant,” you managed. “Until then.”   

       He released your hand, and it was over. 

       You watched him as he walked out of the room, staring after him even after the door had hissed closed. 

       You let out a breath, willing your heart to calm to a walking pace. What could he possibly mean by neither friend nor ally?  

       Without thinking, you flexed the hand he had touched as if to make sure it wasn’t truly burning.  Had he felt it too?

       Mentally, you shook your head.  It didn’t matter. You had no idea if and when you would ever see him again.  He would undoubtedly get out of this court marshal and accelerate up the ranks of the Imperial Navy.  Meanwhile, you had your duties here on Coruscant.  Duties you had to attend to. 

       You quickly gathered your things, and walked briskly out of your office. 

       “Excuse me, Senator?” Cora said, her words stopping you in mid-stride.

       “Something wrong?” you asked. 

       “No ma’am.  It’s just…” she hesitated as if unsure if she was even allowed to know what she was about to say. “Lieutenant Thrawn asked me to give you a message.”

       “Which is?” 

       “He asked me to remind you he would like a holo copy of the pieces you have commissioned for the reception area.  And if it wasn’t an inconvenience, he would be interested in having holo copies of the pieces you have in your office as well.”

       You blinked unsure whether to feel flattered or utterly exposed. 

       “Should I tell him you’re unable to,” Cora asked, tentatively.

       “No,” you said, shaking out of your temporary shock.  “No, go ahead and collect holo copies of the pieces and send them along.  Contact Ensign Vanto of the Imperial Navy, I’m sure he will pass them along.” 

       Cora gave a look of confusion, but seemed to know better than to question a Senator. 

       “Yes ma’am.  Goodnight.”

       You barely gave her a wave of acknowledgment as you walked out the door, the same question reverberating in your mind; friend, ally, or something else?

[thesociologicalcinema]

Helpful Rebuttals for Racist Talking Points

This isn't meant to be comprehensive or the angles you HAVE to take, but it's a good starting point or reference guide for hard conversations. Feel free to share! 1. "Cops Kill more white people than Black people." - There are an estimated 5.7x more white people in America than black people--so yes, by sheer numbers, white people are killed by police more. But cops don't kill white people simply because they're white, and Black people are killed by cops at a rate 3X HIGHER than white people, often when unarmed. That a glaring inequality, and it exists because of race. An hey, consider this: the fact that police brutalize and kill people is a problem IN GENERAL, which is why we should be against police brutality. Yes? (Sources: CIA Factbook; mappingpoliceviolence.org) 2. "The problem is Black people commit more crime." - Correction: crimes committed by Black people are more reported, and/or over-attributed in a corrupt system that values arrest quotas. As part of gentrification there is often a higher police presence in diverse neighborhoods than in white neighborhoods. This means there is often a higher police presence in diverse neighborhoods than in white neighborhoods. This means there is more police surveillance in general, AND more instances of new white residents calling law enforcement on people of color for perceived misdemeanors. (Like noise complaints, "behaving suspiciously, etc.) More "crimes" being attributed to Black and Latinx people is more reflective of excessive police presence and white people making the calls, not "proof" POC actually commit crimes more frequently. (Source: The Atlantic) 3. "Well, what about Black-on-Black crime?" - We're discussing RACISM, and Black people don't kill each other because they're Black, firstly. Secondly, if you compare white and Black neighborhoods with similar income levels, you see similar rates of crime. But systemic economic inequality is a factor that people forget. So if you use comparisons that put together both wealthy and upper income class neighborhoods (that are predominately white), and middle/low income neighborhoods (that have more POC), it skews the data. Poor people commit more crimes because economic insecurity leads to those crimes; it just so happens that Black people are still at an economic disadvantage because of the enduring consequences of America's racism throughout history. (Source: The Guardian) 4. "What about gun violence in Black neighborhoods like Chicago?" - The above info on economic inequality applies here too. Also, this isn't directly related to this conversation. 5. "If people just followed the law, they'd be fine." - A) Whether or not someone committed a crime does not mean they deserve to be killed. Cops are not judge, jury, and executioner. B) Innocent people have been killed for "fitting a description," or for misdemeanors, or "by accident," or because a cop felt like it and didn't fear repercussions. And rarely is justice served. C) The law and the system protects white people in ways it does not protect Black people, Indigenous people, or people of color. 6. "White privilege isn't real." - Consider: Brock Turner. Also consider: white shooters are miraculously apprehended safely, yet unarmed Black people are killed with alarming frequency. Look, there's not enough space here, but the info on this guide indicates SOME ways white privilege is real. In essence, white is seen as the default "normal"; white people often receive the benefit of the doubt in ways POC don't because of stereotypes and lack of representation in media; and because of CENTURIES of history rooted in racism/oppression, white people have advantages and systemic power that Black people don't. (Learn more: tolerance.org/magazine/fall-2018/what is white-privilege-really)

7. "Many of the people killed had criminal histories." - That doesn't matter and isn't relevant in the moment when a cop is making an arrest. A past criminal record (which is often uninown!) doesn't justify the use of excessive force or murder, especially if someone is subdued. Cops are not judge, jury, and executioner. Also, many of the cops who are killing people have prior "on the job" offenses or murders on THEIR records, yet they're still on duty causing harm. That should be your ACTUAL point of concern. 8. "Why can't they peacefully protest in a way that doesn't disturb anyone?"- A) How do you feel about Colin Kaepernick? B) The point of protesting is to create sustained disruptions to the status quo, forcing people in power create change. This has worked multiple times throughout history. C) The protests remain peaceful unless or until the cops deliberately use tear gas and "non-lethal" bullets (that can maim and kill). 9. "But the rioting and the looting!" - The majority of protests are entirely peaceful. Others are peaceful until the cops turn them into riots with tear gas and "non-lethal" bullets (that can maim and kill). That can lead to others taking advantage with chaos/looting, often detracting from the goals of the movement. "Small businesses shouldn't be destroyed" and "there is a problem with racism and police brutality that needs to be addressed" can and MUST coincide. Don't focus on the property loss at the expense of the repeated loss of lives that's been occurring for years. If you allow those few instances to direct your attention away from the reasons for the protests, you're playing right into the hands of those trying to change the topic-the media, the police, and the politicians who prefer orderly status quo to change. If you're primarily seeing select news of property damage, but no evidence of hours of peace and repeated police violence, ask yourself WHY. (400+ instances of police violence at protests: slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/06/george-floyd-public-spreadsheet:police-violence-videos. html) 10. "How come [other race] doesn't protest?" - A) They probably do, or DID, and you're just not aware of it. B) If they did now, would you personally actually be listen- ing to them, or dismiss them? and C) Bringing this up perpetuates the "model minority myth," which is the idea that some minorities have achieved higher success and are "better" because they keep their heads down and work hard. It's erasure that encourages people to not speak out against injustice, and also pits minorities against each other. (tolerance.org/magazine/what-is-the-model-minority-myth) 11. "White people have been oppressed too!" - Are white people oppressed in Western societies, right now, BECAUSE OF THEIR RACE? No. Can white people be oppressed in other ways UNRELATED to their skin color, like sexuality or gender or economic status or ableism? Of course, but that's a different conversation, and racial oppression is currently what we're discussing. 12. "Well, I don't see color." - You may mean well by saying this, but what you're actually doing is invalidating the experiences of anyone who isn't white. You can't discuss and change problems if you refuse to acknowledge they exist in the first place, nor can you support those whose skin color and cultures differ from yours. We are all human and should strive to be kind, yes. But in a society filled with microaggressions and overt racism and injustice, we are not all equal, and we must listen to each other's experiences. We also can't forget to value the things that make us unique or celebrate the beauty in diversity, especially when those differences are often used to perpetuate oppression. You truly need to "see color," hear people's different stories, and honor them by working against racism.

13. "Blue Lives Matter." - Being a cop is a choice; being Black isn't. White people can stop being cops by simply taking off their uniform for the day (or quitting) to remove themselves from danger; Black people can't stop being Black or experiencing the repercussions of racism, hence necessary activism. Cops getting hurt or killed while on the clock is an occupational hazard they signed up for; Black people didn't sign up for living with those real fears, and they can't escape them. 14. "Not all cops brutalize and kill people." and/or "It's just a few bad ones." - The ones who DO kill and brutalize rarely face true consequences, because the system is broken. When someone says "there are no good cops," it doesn't mean no good person has ever become a cop. What it DOES mean is that American policing is set up as a system that doesn't allow for what we'd expect a "good cop" to be. The supposed "good cops" are complicit in supporting a system that lets the worst of them get away with horrible things; this is called the blue wall of silence. And any cops who DO try to speak out against corruption are often punished for it; for example, read about Adrian Schoolcraft. The problem isn't "a few bad apples," but rather "the whole tree." (Sources: themarshallproject.org/records/605-blue-wall-of-silence Schoolcraft / villagevoice.com/2010/05/04/the-nypd-tapes-inside-bed-stuys-8 1st-precinct/) 15. "Why isn't anyone talking about how how many good things cops do?" - People do, all the time, in ~feel good~ stories. But it's difficult to separate genuine "good" from what is often well-timed cop propaganda that tries to get people to stop speaking out, or delegitimizes voices for change by implying any problems are about individual cops rather than the system. Recently and frequently, cops kneeling for photo ops at protests have gone viral, but then later in the day those same cops used tear gas and violence on protesters. Also, some of the cops who go viral for "good deeds" may have a history of violence on their records. The bottom line? It's difficult and/or harmful to praise people who are part of such a broken system that kills and harms innocent or unarmed people. 16. "Cops are human too. Are they just expected to do nothing while getting screamed at?" - Yeah, actually. If customer service people can take abuse, the "protectors of society" should be able to. Being a cop is a high pressure job, and they need to have the mental fortitude to not allow emotions to cloud their judgement and/or lead to violence. Things like anger management training, background checks on records of violence, mental wellness checks, etc. are the bare minimum that should be happening, but aren't-nor would it be enough. 17. "So what's the solution?" - Defunding and/or abolishing the police. Now, that sounds crazy if you've never heard of it before... but allow me to quote the people who know what they're talking about. Essentially, we currently ask cops to solve too many of the world's problems-meaning at best they're ineffective and at worst, actively harmful. So: "We're talking about a gradual process of strategically reallocating resources, funding, and responsibility away from police and toward community-based models of safety, support, and prevention. The people who respond to crises in our community should be the people who are best-equipped to deal with those crises. Rather than strangers armed with guns, we want to create space for more mental health service providers, social workers, victim/survivor advocates, religious leaders, etc.-all of the people who really make up the fabric of a community-to look out for one another. Crime isn't random. Most of the time, it happens when someone has been unable to meet their basic needs through other means. By shifting money away from the police and toward services that actually meet those needs, we'll be able to get to a place where people won't need to rob banks." This is just a start. See below to understand more! "All Lives" Can't Matter until Black Lives Do. Source: @Charcubed / Inspired by: @Sujoy_Shah / mpd150.com/faq/ / Campaign for 8-Step Plan: 8toabolition.com

[missbugaboo]

Soulmate Scam (1)

Adrien knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. If only said destiny didn't have other plans for him.

All sides of the love-square, though mostly Adrienette, SOULMATE AU.

fanfiction.net / AO3

Next chapter

Chapter 1: No One but Her

Adrien Agreste first dreamt of his soulmate on the very night of his sixteen birthday.

It wasn't anything too extraordinary – it was commonly known that the vision of one's significant other half was bound to appear in one's sleep sometime during the last week preceding or the first week following their birthday. The fact that it was also universally acknowledged that it rarely happened on the night of said birthday (and that the probability of it actually happening was lower that once in fourteen times, as a simple calculus might suggest) made no difference. It wasn't irregular, it wasn't surprising. It wasn't unnatural, either.

It was a little unusual, that's all.

Now, Adrien knew all that. He'd heard various theories about soulmates as he grew up, even though the topic surely wasn't a favourite in his own household. Still, he had friends, and ones that were all eager to discuss the matter with him. Whether it was a four year old Chloe or a fourteen year old Nino (or Chloe again, as her interest in the subject had never quite seemed to cease) didn't matter much. The subject was intriguing, exciting, mysterious; it sparked interest in everyone he knew, even if they were not at all willing to admit it to their classmates like Alix or Max or even Chloe at some point.

How come Chloe was a representative for all the examples his mind brought on?

Well, that didn't really matter, either. The facts were: he was very much into the idea of soulmates. His friends were into the idea of soulmates, too.

And that was not unusual at all.

Of course, the romantic in Adrien clung to the idea, imagining the moment when he would finally learn his significant half's identity. Even as a kid – or maybe especially then? - he found the idea of this half-magical bond alluring, both because of its supposed power over people's life and the mystery that it was still wrapped in. He was probably the only child on Earth who could successfully beat little Chloe in regard of enthusiasm, and one of a very few who did not lose their drive as they stepped into adolescence.

Where others faked indifference, he showed that he was thrilled; while they gave in to fear and anxiety, he spoke about his faith. He wouldn't let the anxiety take over him and extort the joy of wait, and he certainly had no intention of allowing the fear to dictate him his steps.

Which, considering the talk he'd had with his father at the wee age of eight, was a miracle of its own.

And yet, it would be a lie to say that his view on the subject did not change during the years. Not in terms of excitement – that part was a constant, even if the outer indications of it had at some point became more low-key (and well, this time it was Gabriel Agreste's advice at work). The change had nothing to do with age or his classmates' view on the topic and certainly not with the teasing (or cynical) remarks he'd heard from those older and supposedly more mature than him.

Like the ones given by Audrey Burgeois whenever Chloe asked her about it.

No, the real alteration lay somewhere else and though his friends couldn't have said where if they tried to, Adrien had no problem determining it.

He knew.

He knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. No matter how many times she rejected him, he kept believing that it was only a matter of time before she understood the connection and realised what he'd known since day one. He hoped with all his being that she would not need an actual dream to tell her that, but if worse came to worst, he would accept that scenario as well.

As long as she chose him in the end.

That didn't mean he hadn't spent the two weeks preceding his birthday being giddy with excitement, so much that even his father had taken notice of that. Gabriel didn't say much on the subject, obviously, except the casual question of whether Adrien was feeling fine or if maybe his flushed cheeks and starry gaze were in fact an indication of a nearing fever. The boy denied quickly; and yet, he didn't dare go as far as to summon the real reasons for the change in his appearance, even though that meant being sent to bed early in a way of precaution.

He knew all too well how his father reacted to the mere mentions of soulmates.

So he had nodded and followed suit. He'd made sure he acted calmly, both in and out of the house, just to make sure he wouldn't provoke any more questions of the sort. He'd almost started to hope that his father had once again forgotten when his birthday actually was.

And so it had gone on for six long days, during which he'd unconsciously ensured that his behaviour at school was just as indifferent as it was at home. Since he had never made a big deal of sharing any details about his hopes with his classmates, the change was not as noticeable as it might have appeared to be. Nino was surprised but said nothing; Alya teased him with a few comments, but did nothing but that. And as for Marinette...

Well, Marinette had seemed to be a bundle of nerves since the beginning of the week, going from pensive to excited to combative in a matter of minutes sometimes.

He really hoped she was alright.

Still, no matter how much he cared for her, how much he valued her friendship and wanted to prove himself worthy of it, he couldn't bring himself to focus on her state more than on the event he was nearing. Had he had any reasons to believe she was unwell, he would have looked into it no doubt. However, he'd known her for too long not to be able to distinguish real trouble and hurt from what was nothing but confusion on her part.

It was clearly the latter that was happening this time, and Alya's words only confirmed that.

It was fine.

So it seemed to him, anyway. On the night before his birthday he was as agitated as ever, or – since it was the first time when he allowed himself to open up a little about it – even more so. He was eager, he was enthusiastic, he was ready to take on the world. He did feel a little nervous, which was also a first (and probably the reason why it came as such a surprise to him, as predictable as it was) and which was quickly reflected in the way he moved and spoke.

There was edginess in his step as he paced around his room; there was a frown on his forehead and a trembling of his hands.

And yet, none of these could compete with the hope and happiness that filled his soul and fuelled his heart, radiating from his whole silhouette regardless of the anxiousness mentioned above.

It was truly miraculous that he was not glowing in a literal sense yet.

"Oh, will you just go to bed already?" Plagg whined loudly as he munched on his piece of cheese and grimaced at the boy before him. "Seriously kid, you don't even know that you will dream of her tonight. Nobody said it would be on your birthday, and even if, I'd say tomorrow still counts as your birthday night. So calm down, will you?"

"You know that I can't" Adrien answered, with mixture of joy and apprehension ringing in his voice. "It's too great to just push it aside. It's too much and too soon and yet, not nearly soon enough..."

"I swear to Fu, Adrien, you say one more word and I'll throw up all the cheese I've had today," the kwami retorted. "You really are taking it too far."

"I am not," Adrien denied. "Oh, come on, it's the most important night of my life! You could be at least a little more understanding for once."

"I've been more than understanding for the past two weeks. We both know that this fake indifference you displayed in front of Nathalie only worked because you felt you could take it out on me twofold as soon as she was gone. I haven't stopped you, I haven't complained – no more than I usually do, anyway. Still, even my patience has boundaries and no amount of cheese can move them any further."

"Now that's new. I thought your love of cheese conquered all."

"Somehow, it fails to help with a teenage-love-caused nausea."

To that Adrien only laughed, before throwing himself down on the coach and reaching up to scratch Plagg behind the ear fondly. The little creature bristled and wiggled, pretending not to be moved by the affectionate gesture... and then gave in to it completely, purring contentedly in the same way he always did.

Adrien's grin widened at the sight.

"Come on now, I'm not that annoying, am I?" he asked cheerfully as he continued to stroke Plagg's ears and chin. "Also, I bet I'm not the only Chat Noir who fell in love with Ladybug."

"As if that made it any better," Plagg muttered in response. "Seriously, I don't know what it is about that spotted costume that makes you boys lose your minds before you even have a chance to have a proper talk with her. It's unhealthy."

"Oh?" Adrien hummed, amused. "So not only am I not the first to fall for her in general, it's also an all-cats tendency for it to happen soon. Somehow, I feel relieved."

"Before it gets to your head, you should know that your was still a record time. As I said: unhealthy."

"Or maybe simply romantic?" Adrien let out a long, dreamy sigh. He kicked off his shoes and stretched on the coach comfortably, before continuing. "Also, how could I not have fallen in love with her? It's not because she has made some great entrance and swept me off my feet all at once. In fact, she was the opposite of that: clumsy and insecure, a little awkward and surely lacking faith in her own skill. Hell, she was practically drowning in all that self-doubt.... And yet, that didn't stop her from trying hard."

"You mean, she delayed her great entrance for a day and then impressed you twice as much as she would have otherwise."

"You can laugh all you want, I know what I felt," once again, Adrien contradicted him. "And that 'delay', as you call it, wasn't something she'd planned – it was a natural reaction on her part but then it only showed how deep her courage truly ran. How much she had to struggle, how difficult it was to accept that new, crazy path Master Fu had chosen for us... And still, she did accept that. Now, if that's not impressive, I really don't know what is."

This time, Plagg only sighed.

"There really is no talking you out of this one, is there?" he asked wearily, even though his tiny lips were curved in a small smile. "Gosh, you really are hopeless."

"I do care for her, Plagg," the boy lying next to him responded, his own voice having a new seriousness to it. "I know it seems silly. It probably was at first: a shallow crush, derived directly from my being amazed by what she did that day, contradicting Hawkmoth despite her own fears. But even if it was... It's been almost three years now. We became friends, and partners, and... so much more, even if still refuses to see it in a romantic light. She is my soulmate, Plagg. There's no one else that could take that role but her."

"And what if you're wrong?" Plagg suggested quietly.

Adrien shook his head. "I can't be. It's just not an option, not when even the Guardian of the Miraculous called us one another's yin and yang."

"Except in this case the yin and the yang may remain platonic and still work just fine."

For the first time in week's Adrien felt the kind of anxiety that was not accompanied by the usual enthusiasm and faith. His brow furrowed as he gazed up at his friend, his heart speeding up while his blood ran cold; his jaw tightening unconsciously as he thought it over in his mind.

"You can't really mean that."

Once again, Plagg sighed, and flew closer to the boy's side.

"Look, I don't want to scare you here," he explained evenly. "I'm not saying that you should give up on her, or that you should lose all faith and resign yourself to a life with some random girl who will surely take her place. I don't know if she'll appear in your dreams today – heck, we can't even be sure if it really will be today. But that's what this whole thing is about, Adrien: no one can be certain about this thing until it's actually happened. I know how you feel about her; I know you want your special dream to confirm what you've believed so far. And you know that I want you to be happy."

"So where's the hatch?" Adrien asked.

"No hatch. I just... I just want you to make room for a possibility where it's not Ladybug who turns out to be your other half. So that you're at least in some way prepared if that's the case. Can you promise me to try that?"

Adrien's reply wasn't an immediate one. Quite the opposite: the boy seemed to be taking full advantage of the time he had, staying silent for as long as appeared proper to him – and then a little longer than that. Motionless, he lay like he did before, with only his eyes shifting; and even they remained fixed on one spot on the ceiling, after he'd looked away from Plagg's solemn face.

Because that was no light matter.

Adrien was well aware of that, of course. It wasn't that his buoyant demeanour was an act, or that it was his way of fighting the fears that had somehow found way to the very core of his vulnerable heart. He wasn't hiding behind it – simply because he had already faced those fears a long time ago.

How could he not have, with Ladybug rejecting him so many times so far? He might have been naive to some, but he wasn't stupid for sure. He wasn't selfish, either, and for that reason he simply had to consider a situation in which his Lady did not respond to his affection, no matter how many dreams of one another they'd shared.

She meant everything to him – he wasn't going to throw himself at her if she was certain she couldn't love him back.

No matter how much the mere thought of it hurt him.

"I just can't imagine it being anyone but her," he said softly (a little longingly) at last. "I know it still might be. Someone I've never thought of before or maybe even someone I haven't even met yet. But it's like... it's something the logical part of me realises, while the more emotional side screams to forget it as something completely absurd. My brain tells me to keep my options open; my heart calls me a traitor for even considering that."

He rolled over to his stomach and rested his chin on his folded arms. "So yes, I do have room for such a possibility. And if my soulmate turns out to be someone who isn't Ladybug, I promise you to do my best to know her and to love her, even if it's in a very different way. I just -"

He stopped abruptly; then he pressed his face against his arms and muttered, "I just pray to God that I don't have to."

Again, silence fell on the room, with nothing but the sound of the two of them breathing to disturb it. It was Plagg's turn to caress his Chosen, with a gentle touch of his little paw brushing the cheek of the boy he was supposed to protect. Adrien smiled weakly at the display and turned his head a bit, just enough to be able to see the kwami with more than his mind's eye.

"You really should just go to bed, you know," Plagg murmured with his usual fatigue. "Otherwise you'll fall asleep right here and then wake up from discomfort in the middle of your most important night. And you wouldn't want to do that halfway through that soulmate dream, would you?"

"I sure would not," Adrien agreed readily. He lifted himself up and jumped off the coach in one swift movement, yawning and stretching as he stood up. "I still need a shower though – which is all the more annoying if I think it may actually chase my sleepiness away. And not being able to fall asleep, tonight of all nights... Now, that would be far worse than the disrupted sleep you mentioned before."

"Well, I'd say the amount of sleep you've been getting lately is the best guarantee of good rest tonight," Plagg offered derisively. "You hardly slept at all because of your excitement, it should have been enough to wear you out."

Adrien couldn't help but yawn again.

"You're right. It has," he admitted. "Alright, shower it is. Then I'm gonna go straight to bed, tuck myself in and just relax. That should be an invitation enough for my body and mind to feel the sleepiness as well, right?"

And then he was off, determined not to lose another minute of this very precious time. He was back in no time, calm and warmed up, more than ready to face the destiny that – he was sure of it – was finally going to show its face to him that night.

It was a few minutes past ten when he reached his bed at last; it was half past when he finally fell asleep. His dream came to him at three, at the darkest hour and the most trying time.

And when the sun showed itself some time around five...

...it found him sitting up abruptly, with a cold sweat flowing down his neck and his big green eyes wide with shock and fright.

Because he hadn't dreamt of Ladybug that night.

[irandrura]

More detailed, spoiler-full thoughts on Xenoblade Chronicles 2:

One of the things that always fascinates me, when I compare JRPGs and WRPGs, is the sorts of conflicts they’re interested in, or the sorts of questions they ask. XC2 is yet another example of a JRPG that asks a question that simply never seems to arise in Western games. That question is: is there an ethical basis for the world’s existence? Is there a justification for the world continuing to be? Is existence, being, even a good thing at all?

XC2 is fascinated by this question, and even by the more narrow questions of “is it a good thing for humans to exist?” or “is it a good thing for people in general to exist?” It takes these questions very seriously, to the extent that characters who firmly conclude “no” are treated as sympathetic antagonists, rather than madmen.

Western games only rarely raise similar questions. Every now and then you get a madman in Fallout who thinks humanity is a scourge and should be replaced by some other race, or the likes of Archaon in Warhammer, who seeks to destroy the world because the gods demand it – but these characters are generally not treated sympathetically, and very little time is spent refuting them. Of course you stop the guy who wants to destroy the human race. What, you need a reason? Here’s one: you’re human, so are people you care about, end of story. There’s not much to engage with there. In the likes of Skyrim, when Arngeir suggests that maybe the right thing to do is to allow the world to be destroyed, the player’s response is incredibly perfunctory. “I like the world. All my stuff is here.” What more could you possibly need?

But justifying existence seems like a more central question to JRPGs. Not only XC2, but if I think back to, say, Final Fantasy X, or Final Fantasy VII, or Final Fantasy VI, or, well, half the games in that entire series, a frankly bizarre amount of time is spent arguing with nihilists who believe that the world and/or the human race should be destroyed, because... um, suffering exists, or the world is meaningless, or people are awful, take your pick.

My usual approach is to just attribute these differences to religion. The West is deeply influenced by the Abrahamic tradition, in which God creates the world and pronounces it good. There can be no real question of whether existence is good or not. To even ask the question is blasphemy. This instinct now seems so deeply-rooted that even atheists, who outwardly reject all religion, just take it as read that existence is a good thing. By contrast, Japan still has a historical Buddhist influence, and Buddhism is much more skeptical of the value of being. If you could destroy samsara... would you? Is the goal of the spiritual life to escape, to obtain release from the shackles of the world? The Buddhist tradition contains significantly greater ambivalence towards the world.

In XC2’s case, I think it’s a little more complicated, because XC2, like XC1, is heavily influenced by Gnosticism. I am far from the first person to suggest a similarity between Christian Gnosticism and Buddhism, of course, but here I think the Christian imagery comes to the fore. Klaus is a demiourgos, the Architect of this world, standing in the place of God despite not being truly divine himself. This flawed creator goes on to let loose his own trinity – Ontos, Logos, and Pneuma; Being, Word, and Spirit – but nonetheless is full of regret, unsure as to the value of the world he has tried to build. God himself is not visible; only this broken man trying to fill in for God. Even he is not convinced of the world’s goodness!

(And while we’re on the topic of Christian imagery, yes, I know, Pyra and Mythra’s core crystal is cross-shaped, and Pyra is symbolically crucified like four times in the plot, it’s not subtle.)

But to step away from religion for a moment and look back at specific characters...

  What drives most of the central characters of XC2 is, initially at least, the desire to cease. Amalthus believes that the world is nothing but a vale of tears, and regards the world with little but hate and disgust. Malos is corrupted by Amalthus’ hate and believes that justice requires the world be destroyed. Jin is driven mad by the cruelty of the world, comes to hate the Architect and seek to destroy him. Even Pyra, our ostensible heroine, wants to reach Elysium in order to beg the Architect for permission to commit suicide and cease to be.

As such, the heart of the story of XC2 is responding to all this with, “No! Life is worth living!”

It seems like such a banal message. If anything, it’s doubly so because the game’s protagonist, Rex, is the most relentlessly optimistic and upbeat person in the world. Rex is the sort of person who’ll respond to all the above with an innocent, “Well, that’s how life is, you know? You’ve gotta take the good with the bad.” He has no darkness in him at all. Even Shulk, who was a total sweetie-pie, was willing to go on a quest to flat-out kill someone for revenge. Rex is truly a beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Heck, one of his lines in battle is a completely unironic “We’ll beat them with the power of friendship!”

That’s one of the odd things, for me. Rex himself does not struggle with inner darkness, or with anything I’d recognise as suicidal tendencies or depression. He searches for an answer to justify the world to Malos, but ultimately doesn’t come up with anything more coherent than, “There are wonderful, valuable things in this world, and I believe people can change, and I know that you once believed that too!” This isn’t a story where Rex finds a substantive answer to the question, or one that would satisfy a philosopher. Rather, he ‘solves’ the puzzle through sheer force of will. He ends up convincing the Architect that the world has merit not through anything he says, but through what he does – through his selfless optimism and belief in other people.

Just as Amalthus and Jin concluded the world needs to die not because of philosophy, but because of traumatic personal experience, Rex concludes the world needs to live because of positive, uplifting personal experience. The answer to the dark impulse that would destroy the world is to point to positive relationships within it, even in the lives of the people trying to destroy it: Mikhail and Patroka, or even Jin and Malos, have genuine friendships. (The moment where Malos stops to hug Jin, even as he heads off to destroy the world, is surprisingly touching.)

On one level this really works. It fits surprisingly well with the overall Christian themes: the answer to “why should the world exist?” is “loving relationships”. Pyra’s answer, in fact, is “I love this world because you’re in it.”

On another level, it feels a touch disappointing, if only because it means the climax of the game is just a reiteration of what the player’s been hearing for the past fifty hours: yes, love and friendship and bonds are good things!

Where Xenoblade 2 works, I think for me, is where the specifics of the relationships feel powerful enough to make those clichés feel fresh. The game’s world sets up a number of reasons to despair (the world is slowly dying, the titans are dying, people are warring over the declining and limited resources, etc.) and then sets up a lot of obstacles to relationship (the Blades, immortal, but having their memories wiped every time their closest friends die, feel quite tragic), and then shows love and friendship perpetually overcoming them. The game’s strongest moments are those where, at a point of despair, somehow love saves the day again. Chapter seven stands out here: both the moment where Nia reveals her true identity, and where Rex practically raises Pyra from the dead by standing over her body and talking about how much he believes in her. Naturally, then, the game ends on the emotional high of the entire playable cast flying off into the sunset, looking fond of each other, Pyra and Mythra’s miraculous return, and the closing line: And thus, boy met girl. Like any good love story, it works only if you buy into the characters’ emotions.

 Xenoblade Chronicles 2, summarised: “Should you commit suicide? No, because love.”

Now that said, two other random observations:

In the first Xenoblade, I really disliked the Klaus twist at the end. It felt like it came out of nowhere, required a large exposition dump, and didn’t add much to the plot. For me, the first Xenoblade felt pretty much entirely downhill after the defeat of Metal Face. Xenoblade 2 still has more-or-less the same backstory with Klaus, but here I thought it was contextualised much better and was more effective. The revelation that the Architect is the torn remains of an ancient scientist, trying to rebuild the world from scraps but now half-given up on the whole project as a waste, feels like it fits much better with the world that we explored.

Xenoblade 2’s world always felt somewhat artificial, and from the very start of the game it was evident that there was a previous world before this one. There’s something beneath the Cloud Sea, and whatever it might be, it was evidently once technologically advanced. Making Rex a salvager was a good move to emphasise that, and the way that so much of the world’s economy depends on salvaging the ruins beneath the sea reinforces the sense of the world as being in decay. The Architect is mentioned at the start of the game, so you know that the world was made or at least modified by someone for an unclear purpose, and the World Tree is mysterious enough. So when later in the game you do go below the Cloud Sea and discover the remains of ancient cities, and then find that within the World Tree is an advanced scientific installation, it doesn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. Indeed, the final revelation – that ages ago a scientist accidentally destroyed the world in an experiment, and this is his imperfect attempt to fix it – feels both like a genuine discovery, but also something that, well, makes sense. Of course it was that. Of course! That explains so much about why Alrest is the way it is.

  The second observation is... okay, so, XC1 and XC2 are in continuity, that’s all good. How does XCX fit in, if it does at all? I was a bit disappointed when Klaus’ flashback mentioned ‘Saviorites’ attacking the experimental station. Who are they? I wanted to assume that Klaus’ experiment was some sort of cutting-edge secret research immediately before the Ganglion attacked at the start of XCX. That way the aliens attack and start to destroy the Earth, in a panic Klaus tries to accelerate his experiment, hoping he can use the power of the Conduit to save the world, he screws up and ends up splitting the Earth off into two parallel dimensions, creating the worlds of XC1 and XC2, and meanwhile the survivors of Earth in the home dimension escape on their Ark Ships and go and do XCX. That would fit all three games together pretty elegantly, and Conduit-related weirdness might also help explain what the heck is up with Mira in XCX.

But there doesn’t seem to have been any room left for that, so I guess XCX is a completely different continuity? That just... also contains Nopon, who for some reason have heard of Shulk and the Monado? Who knows?

[crazyrandomfucker]

Marichat May Day 17: Balcony

Summary:

After Kagami broke up with him, Adrien decides to patrol for a bit to clear his mind. Coincidentally, Marinette is out on her balcony to wash away the bad taste on her tongu after breaking up with Luka.

-----------------

When Adrien hung the phone, he felt his entire world crumbling. -kagami had just broke up with him, allegging that eventhought Adrien did genually care for her, he didn't truly love her. He felt devastaded as he had invested on their relationship as he never had done before. What was he lacking? Was he not expressive enough? Should he had put even more effort into it? Noticing how distressed was his holder, Plagg simply floated towards him and purred while he gently carressed Adrien's face. Without uttering a word, Plagg sat at the top of the miraculous and Adrien understood the message: He needed to take some air and excercise to think about it and get over it. He transformed and leaped out of the window, darting towards the unknown in the dark of the night.

Meanwhile, Marinette was in her balcony, lazily restin her head on her balcony's handrail. It had been two hour ago, but after she had broken up with Luka she couldn't get rid of the bad aftertaste that linguered her mouth. The relationship between them wasn't going bad at all, but Marinette knew deep inside that it wouldn't work at the long run, she knew that even if they made a good couple, they simply weren't meant to be, just like her previous crush with Adrien. Marin came and left a blanket on her shoulders to warm her up, then he left with Tekke and Tikki to leave some space for her. She sighed as she contemplated the night sky. Had she been wrong? Luka had seemed to understand it and accepted it as if he already had expected it from some time ago. And yet, there she was, wondering if this was just another mistake too add to the list.

As Chat Noir pole-vaulted himself between roofs, the corner of his eye caught the sight of a girl pondering her decisions by herself. The familiarity gave him a vague sense of deja vú as he went closer to that balcony. He landed on the rooftop right next to the balcony, making sure that she saw him to not scare her. She notices him and his somewhat down expression, so she waves him to come closer. Chat Noir carefully jumps and lands swiftly on the hand rail, walking on it and sitting next to Marinette.

"Hey Princess" says Chat Noir. "Mind if this mangy cat keeps you company?"

"Of course not, silly" says Marinette. "I think I need some and, judging by your face, so do you".

"That I can't deny" says Chat Noir staring at the void.

"This reminds me of the first time we met on my balcony" says Marinette. "Even if we had already met previously".

"You're right as always Marinette" says Chat noir letting a chuckle escape. "We should really stop meeting like this at your balcony".

"Yeah, we should" says Marinette smiling. Then she sighs and the smile fades away.

"Tell me" says Chat Noir.

"Huh?" asks Marinette confused.

"What's on your mind. Tell me what is making you overthink like this" explains Chat Noir.

"It's nothing. I broke up with my boyfriend, Luka" says Marinette. "But now I'm thinking that maybe it was a mistake".

"Were you happy with him?" asks Chat Noir.

"I usually was, bbut there were these times when everything felt off" explains Marinette. "As if we were two pieces of a puzzle, but we belonged to different puzzles".

"Then maybe you made a mistake" says Chat. "Or maybe you didn't. No one can predict the future just like no one can fully comprehend our emotions. I think that it has to be you who decides wether it was a correct decision or not".

"And that's why I'm still here. Because I don't know" says Marinette looking at the streets below.

"You don't have to. Not right now at least" says Chat Noir. "It's still too present for you to analyze it properly" says Chat Noir.

"Thanks Chat" says Marinette. "Now, tell me".

"What is the secret for my perfect mane?" asks Chat forcing a smile.

"No silly" says Marinette smiing. "What brings you here?"

"I- My girlfriend broke up with me just a few minutes ago" says Chat Noir. "My love wasn't enough for her apparently, I was lacking".

"Chat, I couldn't ever imagine you being lacking if it's about love" says Marinette. "Overbearing? Maybe. Exagerated? For sure. But not lacking".

"Then what did I do wrong?" says Cat, with a tear in the corner of his eye. "What was my mistake? I thought that I was involved in our relationship, I always tried to make her happy and pay attention to her".

Marinette feels a pang on his chest, recalling her recent break up with Luka. "I don't know Chat" says MArinette with tears on her eyes. "I can't know. Maybe she was confused. Maybe she was scared".

"Maybe she wanted someone differet" says Chat. "It wouldn't be the first time a girl I love loves someone else. Why would someone ever chose me?".

Marinette slaps Chat Noir. "Stop self-depreciating yourself! You're a wonderful guy! Lot's of girls would want to date you. Maybe Ladybug was in love with someone else, but she values you dearly. Maybe your girlfriend left you because she loved someone else, but it's her loss because you're amazing Chat!"

"Princess..." says Chat Noir. "Please. Don't give me false hopes. I know I'm important to Ladybug and Lordbug, we're more than simply partners. But no one has ever looked at me, the real me, and fallen for me. My relationship with my girlfriend principally begun because of pure business matters and even if she says that she fell for me, I can't believe it now!"

"Chat. Noir" says Marinette in a dead serious voice. "I told you long time ago that you shouldn't deny your sister feelings, but that also applied to the rest of people you know. How can you deny that she loved you? You can't know that!"

"I don't know that! I know nothing! 've been living inside a manor for thirteen years, trapped between four walls with the only company o my sister, our bodyguards and my father's assistant!" exclaims Chat losing it. "I know nothing of interacting with others like a normal person! And I don't even know how I feel! What are even feelings?!"

Marinette grabs his face and looks him straight in the eyes. "Chat Noir..." she hugs him tightly, not saying a word as she cries over his shoulder.

"Princess? Mari, what's wrong?" says Chat Noir, worryong that he had just made a mistake with Marinette once more. "Please, tell me what's wrong. I'm seriously worried".

"You! You are wrong you stupid cat!" says Marinett crying. "I'm sorry for saying all of those things, but it's not an excuse how you were brought up! I just want to kick your father and make you learn about emotions and feelings!"

"No offense, but you aren't exactly a great example of emotions Marinette" says Marin from behind them.

"Marin?!" exclaim with teary eyes Marinette and chat Noir.

"How much have you been there?" asks Chat.

"Around when you talked about your girlfriend breaking up with you" says Marin putting down a cup of hot tea. "I was surprised to see you both like that, honestly".

"Why are you even here?" asks Marinette.

"Oh, nothing. I was just bringing you some tea to help you relax a bit like a worried brother would do" says Marin non-chalantly. "Now I think that I'm a cup short. Anyways, I leave you here and go make two more cups of tea, I think I'm begginning to need one as well".

"Wait" says Chat Noir, but Marin is already gone. "Why did he said all that?".

"He probably was refering to my old crush, which turned into an obsession and when I finally gave up on him I was depressed for a month before I began dating Luka" says Marinette.

"You loved someone else?" asks Chat Noir confused.

"I did. It was a silly crush I had on a guy after he proved me wrong and showed me how kind he is" says Marinette looking down. Tears begin to crawl out of her eyes. "But it was just a stupid crush. There was no way he would have ever noticed a plain normal girl like me. He got a girlfriend and I knew that we simply weren't meant to be. I already forgot him".

"Then why are you crying like this?" says Chat Noir clearing her tears with his finger.

"That's your fault and Marin's for messing with my emotions" says Marinette crouching. "Now all the memories and my feelings for him are coming back again and it's making more painful my break up!"

"I- I'm sorry Marinette. It wasn't my intention to..." says Chat Noir. "I- I better leave you alone before I mess everything more".

Marinette grabs his arm and pulls himinto a hug. "No! I want you to stay! Stay by my side until everything goes off".

"Okay" says Chat Noir.

Thy stay in the balcony for quite a bit, Chat holding Marinette on his arms while Marinette cries and desperatedly tightens her grip on Chat Noir, letting all of her pent-up emotions flow in one go. Eventually, she calms down and hugs Chat Noir, thanking him for staying by her side and for always bbeing there for her. As an apology, Marinette makes Chat rest his head on her lap while she pets him in a soothing rythm, gently passing her fingers through his har and giving her a feeling of relief, relaxating and feeling warmer that he's felt for a long time.

[onifere]

An Idea on the Kwami Swap

 Edited

  After watching Reflekdoll, I realized that this episode is why I tend to resent shows that are made so their episodes could be watched in every order. Such a choice implies that plotlines must be extremely simple and easy to follow. By doing this, we lose many possibilities for important character development. And, I think with this episode, we did not lose an important possibility for Cat Noir's character development, but a critical one.

  Reflekdoll was the perfect episode to show us that, yeah, as of how Cat Noir's currently acts in battles, Ladybug doesn't really need him. He's not that huge of a help. She could do without him. She could have saved Paris countless times without his help. I'd even say, if she really needed support, she just could have asked others miraculouses holders like Queen B(ee?) or Rena Rouge/Carapace without ever asking for Chat's help.

   When I look back on Ladynoir's use of the Cat's Miraculous in Reflekdoll, she makes it looks so strong…  Which it is! She uses it so well, that Reflekdoll basically gets pummelled and send in every direction. Compare that to Cat Noir's use of the miraculous’s powers, you would think that his miraculous's powers are on the same level of a support miraculouses (like Rena Rouge's, Carapace's etc). When it isn’t, no, it one of two most powerful miraculouses there is! And Plagg showed that when he destroyed a major part of Paris along with the Eifel Tower in “Style Queen”! Of course, you could say that it’s to not make Adrien OP, but I’d say not OP YET, as he would need training and all to master such a Cataclysm. Then we could have such uses of it. But the point stands, the cat miraculous is far stronger than what Adrien’s use allows.  Marinette even at her kind of “beginner” level Ladybug does a much better use of her miraculous strengths and capacities.

  It has always been obvious that Cat Noir's fighting style is reckless, almost as if he does this to "have fun". And it has been established many times that he acts with a selflessness that I’d qualify virtuous but too dangerous. (for me it’s the bioproduct of a lacking feeling of self-worth but we’re not going there yet!) So, it comes to no one's surprise that Adrien's use of the Cat's Miraculous is lacking in skill. As it doesn’t seem that he cares at being skilful. He sure wants to be helpful, yes, but it does not seem to translate in him making skilful use of his miraculous.

  SO, to get back to Cat Noir's character development, this episode could have been perfect for him to see:

1) The Cat's Miraculous true strength when properly used.

2) Not how useless he is, but how more useful he could be.

  And it would have been great if Adrien reacted to Ladybug doing so well as LadyNoire if not BETTER than him with some shame. You know, this feeling you have when you realize you’re nothing special, although you thought you were? Adrien realizing that, truly most of the time he is useless to Ladybug, as now he is showed by LadyNoire how much more useful he could be?

   It could have been a great way to kick off Cat Noir's character development as he then tries to train himself, to stay more focused in battles, just to change for the better. For his Lady, for Paris.

   And perhaps these changes could have helped Adrien in his daily life! In perhaps feeling less unimportant. (I get the feeling that Cat Noir acts the way he does because he feels as if it's not a big deal if something happens to him. Perhaps I’m wrong (again the idea of selflessness)). Perhaps such changes would help Adrien into realizing that "YES! I do matter.” "YES! People are interested in me!”, and "YES! My friends value me!”. And perhaps he wouldn’t have to be so huh… Lifeless? I also think it would make him less oblivious to how he is seen by others.

  And even if it only helps Adrien as Cat Noir it would be something interesting, to see him try… And struggle! As such changes take time! It takes times changes, and some time you go back to your old ways without wanting to, so you keep fighting to maintain your progress. Of course, it shouldn’t change him too much. Keep him lively yet keep the puns and funny cat things for when the akuma is dealt with. A proof of his evolution, of him trying to mature.

 NOW

COMPLETLY ANOTHER SUBJECT BUUUUUUT

AM I. THE ONLY ONE. WHO THINKS,

That the show would be all over better if the kwami swap was like, permanent? I mean, obviously the show was never built to unable such an important event. But imagine if it were… I see that swap moment as one that would have defined the show! Like One Piece’s two years’ time skip which served as a big step in the series! I see how us, fans, would call it “the great kwami swap” or some shit like that… I would be a point in the show when everything changes!

  By seeing Marinette with Plagg and Adrien’s with Tikki, I was quite taken aback to see how they look so much more… Compatible?

  To me Plagg and Marinette, Tikki and Adrien, both are better matches. To me, it seems like these matches “push out” something from the characters themselves. They feel more natural. A good step, taken, in the right direction. The next evolution. I personally have never been happier to see Marinette fight as LadyNoire! It looked as if she was born to be Ladynoire and her interactions with Plagg, it looked they'd be a greater harmony between the two! And again, to me she acted freer than ever, and was even more performant.

I think that Plagg would be a better influence for Marinette as he always looks like he's the "cool" dude going with the flow? I'd see him cheering Marinette on, pushing her to be freer minded, less stressed (as he’d teach to care less about trivial things that don’t matter), open her up to new possibilities. His "Everythin's fine, man…" attitude feels like it would be a much better help on the long term for Marinette.

Edit: Plagg’s influence would be even better as he’d teach her to “Go for it” something that is indispensable for a designer/artist, you know? Not being afraid to show your work, not being afraid to be more “aggressive” even more creative perhaps?! Like he would tell her, encourage her to go wild as fuck and even if her art/sketch would not amount to any creations it would be experiences that shape her? He would push her to try everything!

   For Adrien and Tikki, the connection seemed much more subtle yet as good as Marinette’s and Plagg’s connection. Both having soft personalities, both being kind of reserved and quiet/calm. (even tho Tikki is far more optimistic and uplifted than Adrien). Basically, being permanently Mister Bug, we would start to see an Adrien whom starts kind of dumb and useless. Yet he would not give up. (He would be kind of “meh” in the start as there is a lot of work to do but hey! With experience it would come, and he would then one day surpass Marinette’s Ladybug (as Ladynoire would Surpass Adrien’s Cat Noir).

And same for Ladynoire’s better use/compatibility of the cat’s miraculous! It seemed bizarre how it felt more right for me to see Adrien as Mister Bug. (it might all come down to my preferences) The fact that he guessed he’d get a mirror is for me proof he used a kind of logic that we never saw Marinette use. She almost always receives her lucky charms and appears dumbfounded for a second, then looks everywhere on how to use it. But Adrien guessed what he would get. He didn’t know how to use it, and acted dumb because It’s his first time, but also (I think!) because he didn’t want to put in the effort of thinking (again, his recklessness is showing). And AGAIN, throughout the fight against Reflekdoll he was acting recklessly, like he does as Cat Noir. (well yeah, duh.) Swinging his yo-yo like a moron. (Nobody should mock him for that as Marinette’s own beginnings with the yo-yo weren’t glorious either).

  I was talking about how it would have been cool for Adrien to have with this episode the start of an arc where he questions his usefulness in battles and how he wants to get better, how he wants to be of greater importance in fighting Akumas with Ladybug, but hey! Being Mister Bug would solve all these problems! As Cat Noir's problems for me all boil down to a lack of focus, lack of self-worth = "doesn't matter what happens to me she got this" kind of crap.

  So being Mister Bug would make him more patient, focused, on the lookout for details, would make him think more, be more aware of his surroundings and the people around him.  It would fix his self-worth issues! Not like the lack of self-worthiness is Adrien’s defining trait, but it would surely help! Moreover, I feel like Adrien would be better off with Tikki as a kwami as she could provide a sort of replacement for motherly care/attention that Adrien seems to lack and seek, making him feel more balanced, important, secure. And he would feel more useful, he would feel necessary (closing the arc to him feeling useless in battles. AGAIN, I must stress this he could start to feel useless, train as chat noir, yet his training makes him more useful, true but he’d want to be even more useful, he would want to feel necessary, there is nothing wrong about wanting to be necessary.) (I say that, because in Reflekdoll he seemed so happy, no fond to catch & release the akuma. Like “YES, the fight is over thanks to me purifying the little bug) like it was really cute, HE was really cute gimme a break xD)

  There are holes in my ideas of course, but I think these holes could be patched, but looking how the show is made it’s clearly impossible. As of how I see it, it all comes down to how the show was written (duh) and prepared. Now, it’s obvious they don’t want to pull off this “permanent kwami swap” but they simply… Can’t… Such a swap should have been prepared…  Prepared from the start as "THE Great Miraculous Swap". They would have made the swap the result of a long arc for both Ladybug and Cat Noir. And of course, the show should just have been named: "Miraculous', not "Miraculous Ladybug" or "Miraculous tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir" so they would have been no problems with such a swap (with the title I mean) .

   The idea of a swap could have been the result of a long arc. I can see this arc taking place over the three first seasons of the show! Being a long, slow realization that something is off, that “Maybe, things would be better if I… Changed?” as the two realize that the problem lies within them… The third season would have been about the two characters understanding that perhaps, all would be better if they were to just, swap kwamis and miraculouses. But much m, they would understand that the swap IS needed.  More than being needed, the permanent swap could have opened the gates for deep character development. We could have explored their fear regarding things changing so greatly, their apprehension over “What is the public going to think, they’re going to get confused!” (it would be Marinette that would worry over that.), or the “Would I be a better Mister Bug/LadyNoir that I am Cat Noir/Ladybug?” Moreover, they could have used the idea of the miraculous swap to deepens the two heroes relationship with master Fu as they would tell him how they feel, their struggle with their hero purpose/identity. He’d try to help them but to no avail.

   Reflekdoll could have been a first taste of such an idea. I see the episode light the little of spark of “Yep, it feels right, better, can’t go around it now… We need to do it.”. Especially for Marinette as she would have felt freer as Lady noire. Losing her apprehensions “This isn’t so bad…” and Adrien as Mister Bug would have felt kind of dumb and rather weak but being Mister bug would have still felt righter than being Cat Noir. He wouldn’t know why, but he would feel as if things were in a better order (don’t get me started on how we could have seen then resent the idea to give back the other’s miraculous, HMMPF.THE.ANGST.). And the part that “Historically women are better with the Ladybug miraculous and men with the cat miraculous could have been challenged etc! And you know, the fear of the routine, what you’re accustomed to disappearing etc…

  Then, we’d have tearful goodbyes with their first kwamis as it’s a chapter of their lives that ends, just like real life! You make great friends, but even though you are great friends you sometimes need to let go and let the wind of time blow… Which they would have done by saying goodbye to their first kwamis and embracing the next chapter it would have been so deep! (and since Adrienette is probably endgame they would still have endend back together so…) The show could have been themed over growing up, realization, big changes and just the way teen just mature, by making those big changes.  And with that the greater problems would have been fixed already, the three first season Adrien would have spent time with Plagg, Marinette with Tikki and they would both have learned from their first kwamis, then they swap and realize how right it feels to be the other!

  We could have had an even better team! Them understanding each other! Helping each other just after the miraculous swap by giving each other tips in the middle of fights, not sending each other jabs like Ladynoire did to mister bug (although because of how the current show handled its narrative, it is understandable that Marinette jabs a Mister bug being like “ain’t that easy, uh bitch?”) and even think of the possibilities! What about the others  in the team thinking that things were better before? (Like Queen B(ee?), Carapace, Rena Rouge, Viperion thinking that Ladybug was better than Mister bug and the swap was foolish etc it could have created tension, made possible important character interactions, development etc!) And to people who really want a Ladybug and a Cat Noir, the show could have been shaped to Star with Ladynoir and Mister Bug then swap! (although I personally find it better to go from Ladybug/Cat Noir to LadyNoir/Mister Bug (because the connections between the new bearers and their new kwamis feels more right to me). But again, the show was never built so it could plan, even handle such an event. To me it’s a shame…

Finally, I must stress that they would still both learn from their time as Cat Noir/Ladybug! They would have developed and grown but not as much with their second miraculous. I certainly wouldn’t want the show to play the first assignment as a plain mistake/waste of time, make it feel needed, and make sure the two characters remember this time of their life as them learning, figuring stuff out as best as they can, don’t make them bitter over “lost time”!

I only wish it was this way, just because to me, the character and their struggle would have felt more real… But the show was made this way, who cares? Not me, I’m sure I can find many swap AU on the internet! (And I’m Looking for it now :} )

[glassrain]

Then what House is Adrien in?

Much as it painsme to give such a by-the-books answer, I’m going to have to sayHufflepuff - though, perhaps, not for the reasons many people would.I.e., I wouldn’t put Adrien in Hufflepuff simply because he’snice. Kindness is a choice, not a character trait. People can be niceand not be in Hufflepuff; inversely, a Hufflepuff is fully capable ofbeing selfish, cold, snide, shy, or temperamental, among many othernon-sunshiny character traits. Being a nice, positive and outgoingindividual is neither a prerequisite nor a litmus test forHufflepuffs.

(Sorry about the mini rant, but I have Opinions on Hogwarts Housesorting.)

So first I’m going to touch on why I wouldn’t putAdrien in Ravenclaw, like OP of the Adrien is aRavenclaw post. (I’m quickly going to plug in here that OPis absolutely welcome to their opinion and I’m notarguing that they’re WrongTM - simply that Iapproach the character differently than they do.) OP’s pointsessentially boil down to: “Adrien is a lot smarter than peoplegive him credit for (Ravenclaw), and takes no crap when his lovedones are in the wrong (non-Hufflepuff).” I absolutely agree thatAdrien is markedly smarter than people give him credit for. He’snever shown to be any less than a straight-A student in any subject,not to mention the fact that his continued presence in public schoolis dependent on his high grades, so clearly he’s smart. He somehow manages to keep this track record, evenwhile juggling multiple extra curriculars and his superheroactivities - no minor feat. OP also references his puns and play-onwords; you have to have a pretty clever mind to do that as well andconstantly as he does, on the fly.

While I’ll give credit to the point about the puns, I’m notgoing to sort someone based solely on their sense of humor. As forAdrien’s academia … okay, brace yourself for another mini rant.Intelligent people are not automatically sorted into Ravenclaw,simply because they are intelligent. Just look at Hermione. I thinkthat if she were not originally from Harry Potter, manypeople would instantly sort her into Ravenclaw simply for thatreason, despite the fact that she is so obviously Gryffindor.Likewise, I wouldn’t sort Adrien into Ravenclaw based solely on hisbook smarts. Where are the Ravenclaw aspects in other areasin his life - the instinctual, day-to-day parts of his life insteadof the ones where he intentionally turns his mind toward studying andtaking in information? Adrien rarely tries to outsmart his opponents,usually preferring to take point physically while Ladybug riddles outthe solution (and even his fighting style is forward, flashy andaggressive instead of sly and clever). Adrien is also themost clueless character on the show - and after two years running that cannot just be from inexperience. For example,Marinette is not exactly subtle even when she’s trying to be, but Adrien still hasn’t even aninkling about her feelings toward him (at least as far as I’vewatched - I’m not entirely up to date in season 3). Adrien has noidea that his father is Hawkmoth despite the fact that Gabriel spendsall his time locked away in a mysterious attic, or the fact thatAdrien saw the peacock miraculous in hisfather’s hidden safe where he was keeping a book on themiraculous’ (or the fact that Gabriel has a hidden safe tobegin with), or the fact that he’s got butterflies decorating hisentire house, not to mention his father’s brand logo. Has Adriengot any clue that his mother is stashed away in the basement? Adrienis also one of the most easily manipulated characters on the show,because he instantly takes everything people say at face value, neverquestioning them because it doesn’t occur to histo question. It doesn’t occur to him to wonder about thediscrepancies in his life. He doesn’t even notice them,because his brain isn’t wired to observe and form connections. Hisbrain isn’t wired to be curious.

His brain isn’t wired like a Ravenclaw.

So, not a Ravenclaw. But why a Hufflepuff? After all, OP madevalid points about how easily Adrien fights his loved ones. Wouldn’tthat indicate a certain lack of Hufflepuff-ness? My answer to thatis: not necessarily.

Hufflepuffs are hardworking, patient, and fair players - alltraits Adrien has in spades. But Hufflepuff’s truly defining trait- loyalty - is the one that really cements me on this particularsorting for Adrien. It’s true that Adrien pulls no punches whenconfronting his akumatized friends, but it’s equally true thatAdrien’s goal is to free his friends from Hawkmothand restore them to themselves. At the end of the day, he fights soferociously for them, trying to defeat the enemy in orderto retrieve the friend trapped inside. What at first looks like alack of loyalty is instead a bright example of saidloyalty. OP also mentioned Adrien’s willingness to confront hisloved ones, like Chloe in Despair Bear. Confrontingsomeone you care about on a genuine problem in their life is hardly asign of disloyalty - in fact, it would be far more disloyalto stand back and allow toxic behaviors in someone’s life tocontinue hurting them, simply because confrontation makes one feeluncomfortable. The fact that easy-going, gentle Adrien is willing to stifle his natural instincts to make peace in order to confront his loved ones only highlights his loyalty to them, revealing how far he will go for their good. To again reference Despair Bear, Adrienwas speaking in defense of his friends - also people he is loyal to -gave Chloe an entire season’s worth of chances before offering hisultimatum, and all throughout the episode stood by her side,believing in her and encouraging her, and coaxing others to believein her as well. This kind of tenacity and loyalty is all markedly Hufflepuffbehavior.

Adrien continues to stay loyal to Chloe, even past the point where he should probably cut ties. He remains her friend despite the often cruel way she treats the other classmates - a fact that would look rather contradictory of Adrien’s character if he weren’t so hopelessly Hufflepuff. He remains her friend despite her habit of constantly harassing him in season 1. Adrien is very quick to forgive her and reaffirm their friendship after somewhat minimal effort on Chloe’s part to make amends in Despair Bear, because he wants to remain faithful to her, despite everything. He also defends her to Ladybug on multiple occasions, in episodes like Antibug or Queen Wasp, regardless of Ladybug’s very valid anger at Chloe. Because Adrien doesn’t turn his back on his friends.

Speaking of people Adrien is devoutly devoted to: Ladybug. OP mentioned that Adrien’s habit of constantly sacrificing himself for her is more an indication of logic - since Ladybug is the only one who can cleanse akumas - rather than loyalty. While I agree that this certainly a part of it, I don’t think there’s any indication that it’s the sole reason, or even the primary reason. From a purely cinematic perspective, nearly every episode with Chat sacrificing himself for Ladybug (Zombizou excluded) plays the scenario as a sacrifice for a friend instead of as a means to an end, indicating that loyalty is in fact the root cause. But even disregarding his fierce protection of her in battle, his faith in her boarders on irrational. (This faith, this unwavering belief that Ladybug can and will rise above any obstacle, his willingness to do practically anything she asks based on that faith, is a subtler but equally strong fact of loyalty. After all, loyalty isn’t just an action - it’s also an unwavering belief in a person/cause.) In Dark Owl, Adrien was willing to give her his miraculous, which she said she was going to surrender to Hawkmoth, simply because she asked him to. No real objections or questions, simply a blind trust that Ladybug knew what she was doing, and Adrien was willing to risk one of his few freedoms - not to mention letting Hawkmoth win - based solely on that faith. Or how about in Hero’s Day, when Adrien insists with full confidence, “You and me, we can do this,” when faced with an literal army of akumas? It’s certainly not faith in himself that prods him to say that. Adrien No-one-needs-me-as-Chat-Noir, You’re-replacing-me-with-a-turtle? Agreste, he hasn’t got the highest self esteem on a good day, let alone when virtually the entire city of Paris is hunting them down with very dangerous superpowers. His words here stem entirely from his faith in Ladybug. Another example is Reverser. In this episode Adrien, scared out of his mind at even a ride in a cab, willingly allows himself to be blindfolded and tied to a kite, then hurls himself off the Eiffel Tower, even knowing that Ladybug can barely walk three steps without making a mess, trusting her to catch the rope and guide him safely. The ability to trust someone that completely is an unabashedly Hufflepuff trait.

To further examine the topic, what about his feelings for Ladybug? Adrien is a hopeless romantic, and he wants to be in a relationship. But no matter how hard he might try - like his attempted date with Kagami - he’s already given his heart to Ladybug and can’t even comprehend the idea of taking it back and trying with someone else. Tikki and Marinette even have a conversation about it in Weredad - Tikki cautions Marinette and reminds her that Ladybug has rejected Chat Noir so many times, that he might be willing to try with someone new. Marinette simply scoffs at the idea, utterly confident that Chat Noir is devoted fully to Ladybug. And she’s right. No matter how many times she tells him she’s in love with someone else, Adrien is simply incapable of taking back his affection, or to stop trying with her (for better or for worse). In fact, I credit his devotion to Ladybug as the reason he’s so blind to Marinette - Adrien clearly adores Marinette, he has nothing but a thousand glowing praises to say about her, and is baffled at the idea that someone as amazing (in his own words) as Marinette might like Chat Noir. It’s not a lack of affection that keeps him on his “just a friend” train - it’s the fact that his eyes are so full of Ladybug that he doesn’t even see Marinette, not that way.

The final point I’m going to make (because this post has gotten quite out of hand) is Adrien’s loyalty to Gabriel. While Adrien’s loyalty to his friends and partner is commendable, his relationship with his father a much more unfortunate story: loyalty misplaced. Loyalty blinding him to faults. When Gabriel akumatizes himself into the Collector, that is a marked indication of his innocence in the Hawkmoth debate … but it doesn’t negate the previous evidences, all of which Adrien is perfectly content to ignore for the sake of maintaining his relationship with his father. The last thing he wants to believe is that his father is the madman terrorizing the city. So he doesn’t. Even beyond the question of Hawkmoth, however, Adrien’s loyalty to his father is the root of him blaming himself for his father’s behavior, while letting Gabriel off scott free. I DON’T say this to blame Adrien in any way, because Adrien is very much the victim of his father’s abuse. Adrien bends over backwards to please and appease his father: his extra curriculars are of Gabriel’s choosing, and Adrien makes sure to excel in each. Even before public school was cause for motivation, Adrien still made high grades to please his father. Adrien models for Gabriel’s company, and seems happy to do so. Adrien works so hard to be the perfect son. But he gets little to nothing out of it. Gabriel rarely dines with him, never leaves the house to support Adrien’s school activities, photo shoots, or fencing matches, keeps him locked away, isolated in his room like a cage (to the point where imprisonment becomes one of his worst fears). Gabriel tells him that he must schedule appointments with Nathalie for something as simple as a conversation with his father. Gabriel scolds and guilts Adrien for something as innocent as sneaking out to watch a movie that starred his mother (all while hiding his own heinous secrets). Gabriel intentionally manipulates Adrien into believing that Gabriel’s akumatization in The Collector is his fault. Gabriel gave him nothing but a single pen for his birthday for three years (or in the original French, completely forgot about it very often).

In the face of such treatment, many children would be inclined to grow resentful, angry and rebellious, hurting deeply over their abuse. Adrien, however, grows pensive and insecure. His loyalty to Gabriel blinds him, leads him to stalwartly refuse to acknowledge Gabriel’s treatment of him. Baring two short instances in Simon Says, Adrien never - not once - corrects, accuses,or snaps at Gabriel. The closest he comes is sadly acknowledging that Gabriel once again, won’t be showing up/ refuses to give him an inch/ etc., and even then Adrein is merely sad instead of accusatory. Adrien leaps at any crumbs of affection Gabriel might deign to toss his way, so blinded by his love and loyalty to this man that it never even occurs to him that he deserves better from his own father. Instead, he willingly shoulders the blame, or makes allowances and excuses, or ignores the situation all together. Because if Gabriel is what’s wrong with their relationship … then Adrein might have to pull away fro his own good. And that goes against his very nature. Adrien being at fault is infinitely more preferable to him than cutting ties to his father.

So, yes. I believe that Adrien is 100% a Hufflepuff - not for his sweet smile or his compassion or his penchant for optimism, but for his fierce dedication and unwavering trust in those he loves, even those who may not deserve it. Adrien is absolutely a Hufflepuff, and I cannot be convinced otherwise. Although OP did make one very valid point - poor Adrien would look terrible in yellow. Sorry, Adrien.

[dadplagg-mamatikki]

Posted the next chapter of Behind Bars on AO3! Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what yall think? I’m intrigued to know yalls opinions!

~Warning! This story contains Season 3 Spoilers!~

Chapter 2: Insomnia:

Something wasn't adding up and it was irritating Marinette. Adrien said the book belonged to his dad. So why wasn't his dad still a suspect as Hawkmoth? Cause he was akumatized as Collector. But Hawkmoth never talked to him. That in itself was strange. She paused with her homework in front of her, setting the pencil down and leaning back in the chair.

   “Huh.” Marinette said softly, pulling on her lower lip with her teeth. “I wonder.” Quickly, she flipped to a new page in her notebook and began a bullet list.

“What are you doing Marinette?” Tikki asked, noticing the sudden change in her charge.

“Writing down a list of things that Gabriel Agreste and Hawkmoth has in common.” She explained to Tikki, who nodded and say down, nodding her head solemnly.

“Ok. What commonalities do you have so far?”

“So far, butterflies. It's all over the Gabriel logo. They also appear to be the same height.” She explained, recalling her times being around Gabrielle and on Hero's Day when Hawkmoth showed his face for the first time. “Same face structure. Hawkmoth and Gabriel are never seen at the same time, as in whenever there is a akuma that can communicate with Hawkmoth, Gabriel is not present.” Marinette begins to explain as she uses the pencil to point the points out to Tikki. “Adrien was taken during Hero’s Day by the Gorizilla who is his Bodyguard. Showing that he wants Adrien to be safe.”

“But during Grozilla, didn't he drop Adrien?” Tikki asked.

“Yes but did you notice that Gorizilla let me go after the butterfly outline on his face. To save Adrien.” Marinette explained, looking at Tikki who eyes just widened.

“Oh wow….” She whispered. “Should we tell Master Fu?”

“Not yet. We need more solid proof.” Marinette narrowed her eyes causing her eyebrows to furrow. “Need more proof…” She whispered softly, nibbling on the eraser.

“Well, what about some reasons he is not?” Tikki suggested. Nodding, she jotted down a bullet, thinking of what else to write.

“Hmmm. Eye colors are not the same.” She looked at the second one she write. “And Hawkmoth said that he had nothing to lose.” Her eyes looked towards Tikki. “That would mean to him, Adrien isn't important.” She felt the wetness on her cheeks before she realized what was going on. Tikki was attempting to wipe away tears she didn't realize she had shed.

“Shhh. It's ok Marinette.” Tikki whispered. “There is still a chance…” she trailed off, realizing that the chance is smaller than either of them had first realized. 

   Marinette curled up in her bed, Tikki sleeping on the pillow beside her. She couldn't fall asleep. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was almost 4:45 in the morning. She got the feeling she wouldn’t be getting any sleep before school that day. Sighing, she grabbed her phone and began scrolling through Pinterest looking for things that she could create for her friends. A few ideas that she could transform into something truly unique for each of her friends. It was a favorite pastime of hers. A wristlet would be great for Alya, one that was Ladybug themed would be perfect. Maybe even themed after the Ladyblog? Sneaking out of bed as to not disturb Tikki, she gathered some supplies that would be the biases for a idea about the design and shape of the wristlet. She made a few notes here and there, one being to make sure she had the right phone of Alya’s, but also to make it where she could go back to it another time and edit the size of it for it to be used even if she got a different phone. Making it adjustable would be a fantastic thing. And making it a unique addition to her list of items she’s created and could re-create with necessary adjustments. She studied her fabrics, deciding that none of them would work for this, she would have to stop by the shop later to find some new fabric.

Well, she could at least move on to another project. Something for Nino would be a bag-case for his headphones. That away when he was in gym class or sleeping there would be a protective place for them. And so that Chris doesn’t get his hands on them either. The bag was going to be simpler project than the wristlet. Marinette just needed to figure out exactly how big the headphones were. But that didn’t exactly have to stop her from beginning the outline. She figured that a reversible bag could be pretty neat, so she would need two different patterns and fabric. She got up and headed to where her fabric was stored, more than the quick access by her desk. Opening the storage quietly, she peered inside. Finding a simple black cloth right off the bat settled the outer design problem. Now, for the inside, that’s where she should have fun with it. Nothing was catching her eye for the exciting bits, so she was going to have to check in the store when she went for Alya’s. She headed to where her thread was, looking for the closest match to the fabric in hand. Who knew there could be so many shades of black? Studying them as best as she could, she figured out which one was the closest shade. Setting down the required supplies, she began to thread her beloved machine with the black thread. It was soothing, the process of threading the machine was engraved in her. She could probably complete the task with her eyes closed. But eyes closed and a needle present was not a good idea. Time went by as she began laying out the pattern, making adjustments here and there where they were needed. A yawn overtook her body, showing her that ‘Hey, you’re tired enough to sleep now Marinette’. And with that cew, she completed the current task she was doing before heading up to her bed, plopping down as gently as she could as to not wake up her sleeping kwami.

“Marinette! Marinette! You’re going to be late for school again!” Her mother's voice rang out what felt like two seconds later. A large yawn engulfed Marinette as she sat up, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m up Mamon!” She called out, stretching a arm above her before looking up out of her skylight. Did she sleep any?

“Alright! I have your breakfast and a few leftovers from yesterday's bakery in a basket for you to take to school. Keep an eye on the time!” Her mother's parting words rang throughout her sleepy loft.

“Did I get any sleep Tikki?” She asked her Kwami that was floating towards her, she seemed to have been gathering her stuff for the day.

“You were out when I woke up at 5.” She responded with a slight shrug.

“Well, I went to bed around 4:30 I think…” Marinette mumbled more to herself than to Tikki, climbing out of bed and starting to get ready for school. Honestly, if her insomnia got worse, she could probably just stay in the same clothes if they weren’t dirty. Apply fresh coat of deodorant and a few squirts of perfume and that would make a few of things a lot quicker when she’s not had any sleep. She pushed the idea to the back of her mind as she finished getting ready, rinsing her mouth out before heading down the stairs to where the gifts her mother had called about were left.

“Thank you!” She called down into the bakery as she left for school, hurrying across the street and up the stairs. At least she was going to probably get there in time. She took the first step into the classroom when the bell rang, a sigh of relief escaped her lips as she sat down next to Alya for the first round of classes to begin. Her eyes drifted from the board to her notebook, seeing that her notes were following the lesson, she began doing doodles on the side of the paper, thinking about measurements and when she’d be able to go to her fabric shop. She made a mental note to ask Nino for his headphones once class was over with. Her attention to the class was drawn back when Lila was explaining how she and Ladybug had been hanging out the day before, how this was relevant to the class Marinette didn’t know.

“So in a way, you could say Ladybug is my best friend. And with her knowing the inside scoop about the Akumas and how to defeat them, you can try and figure out how to make a foreshadowing thought process with the information regarding the lucky charm and her spots left on the earrings.” She was explaining, causing Marinette to roll her eyes. She was most definitely not best friends with the fake fox. Marinette tuned out the liar and resumed on the list she started the day before about gifts for her friends.

“Wonder what the inside scoop is about the akumas…” Alya mumbled to her best friend. Scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

“Do you really think that Lila is best friends with Ladybug? Chloe has always said she was Ladybug’s best friend.” Marinette whispered back to the reporter, not looking up from a sketch she had started to design for Rose.

“But that’s Chloe. We all know she’s a major fangirl. Although not as major as Adrien. But there’s been numerous sightings of Lila with Ladybug.” Alya peered over her shoulder at the design.

“And so has Alix, Adrien, Nathaniel, even you.” Marinette’s eyes shot towards her best friend. “Just being spotted with Lila” even though none of them were actually her. “Does not mean that she is her best friend.” Marinette sighed, expraserated. This caused Alya to shrug.

“Well, a good reporter always checks out all the sources.” She explained, a odd glint in her eye. “Besides, Chat Noir is probably Ladybugs true best friend.” She snickered. “Poor boy. Ladybug won’t give him the time of day though.”

“She does!” Marinette said a little bit above a whisper. “She values him and wouldn’t be where she was today if it was not for him. They are a team, partners. That is a perfect reason as to why he is her best friend AND that she does value his friendship even if she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings.” Marinette scoffed, leaning back in her seat, crossing her arms.

“Mmm. Sounds to me like you ship LadyNoir.” Alya smirked, nudging her best friend with her shoulder. Ahead of the two best friends, a certain blonde haired boy was blushing, causing his ears to turn a slight red tint.

“I do not.” Marinette shook her head. “Be quiet, I’m trying to pay attention to the lesson.” Her response caused a snicker to escape her best friend.

“Sure, Marinette.” She spoke with a shake of her head as she compared the notes on the board to her paper. Marinette chose not to respond, not wanting to dig herself into a deeper hole. What she said was the truth and there was no arguing that. She did not ship herself with Chat, nor did she not value him. You could be bestfriends with a guy and not have any fuzzy feelings towards him. Besides, her heart was reserved for the blonde in front of her. 

   Lunch went without a hitch. Almost. As Marinette was headed back to the school from devouring some fresh goods from the bakery, a akuma had appeared out of nowhere. Groaning, she quickly jumped behind a bush, other people were scattering in more odd places, she quickly transformed, crawling a few bushes down before swinging into the Paris skyline. Landing on top of a building a few blocks away, she surveyed the area.

   “I am Caffined!” A booming voice alerted the city, shooting up into the sky on a… coffee cup? Ladybug shook her head, jumping and running across the rooftops to try and get closer to the akuma. She looked across the street to see Chat Noir jump up from between two buildings, running along and saluting to her before they continued to run towards the akuma. “There is never too much caffeine! If I demand more, I get more!” He shouted, pointing a straw cannon at citizens of Paris. Once a blast of brown light struck them, they seemed very energized. Great. Chat really didn’t need to be hit with that light. As they stopped and arrived at a meeting point to discuss the game plan, she watched Caffined refill his cup before blasting down the street a little.

   “Hope I’m not to latte.” Chat smirks, landing beside her. Oh great. Already with the puns.

   “Avoid getting shot by the beam of light, please.” Ladybug looked at him, a exasperated expression on her face.

   “Sure, sure, my’lady.” He bows, watching the akuma. “I think his akuma is in that straw of his.” He explains, observing the victim.

   “Agreed. Now, just how to get to it. If we could somehow get him to slow down, you could easily cataclysm the straw and I’d be able to get back to school on time.” Ladybug mumbled, her eyebrows stitching together under her mask.

   “Will do. Maybe your charm is just what the brew needs to be the perfect blend.” He winked, his smile widening. “Ok. That wasn’t my best one. Sorry.” He spoke with a shrug, hands flying up by his head.

   “Just go distract him.” Came her reply as she grabbed her yoyo from her belt, getting ready to toss it into the air and call upon her lucky charm. Hope flared in her chest that it would be over soon as a bag of coffee grounds landed in her hand. She raised a hidden eyebrow, looking over it, on the front in big bold letters it said ‘Decaf’. How exactly would decaf work? It was still coffee even though it wasn’t caffeinated. And it didn’t have anything in it to put people to sleep with. Looking around, she tried to find clues to piece together a seemingly contradicting puzzle.

   “What’s our creamer for this blend, buggaboo?” Chat called out as he bounced from a light post to a car, ducking behind it as the flash of light shot through the window.

   “I’m trying to figure that out!” She exclaimed, looking around to see a floral shop with a herb section. “I got it!” She called out and gestured him over, Caffined needing to refill his storage.

   “What’s the plan?” He asked, standing on guard as she looked through the herbs. “Can I just say, Buggaboo, that you mocha me very happy!” He said with a smirk, glancing over his shoulder at her.

   “Shut up. And the lucky charm was a bag of decaf coffee”

   “Decaf?”

   “And so what’s going to happen is I’m making a signature blend of sleepy herbs to hopefully make Caffined a little drowsy.”

   “But it doesn’t appear to go through him.”

   “That’s a part when you come in. You’ll get close to him, make him think he’s got you. Just as he shoots the light at you, you duck and the beam rickashays off of the mirror of that car’s side view mirror and onto him. Then you can cataclysm his straw.” Ladybug explained the plan quickly, eyes searching the area. “I’ll use the mirror to reverse the beam.” He nodded as she finished adding the herbs to the grounds.

   “Lavender and Chamomile?” He checked, sniffing the bag.

   “You’re good with your herbs, tomcat, aren’t ya?” Ladybug smirked at him with a knowing giggle, before nodding.

   “What can I say? A cat doesn’t just have nine lives but also a keen sense of smell.” He winked before jumping to distract the akuma. Rolling her eyes, Ladybug went through the shadows around the building, going up behind Caffined and pouring the mixture into the coffee pot backpack he had. A thumbs up to Chat let him know it was game time. Quickly, as he started the plan, she ran to get the mirror that would be used to bounce the light back against him.

   “Once I’ve blasted that barista with my blast, I’ll get your miraculous!” Caffined yelled at Chat, reaching for him.

   “Oh, I don’t think you’ll have any luck with that. My brew-ti-ful partner is already a step ahead of you!” Chat Noir calls out, smiling as he heard a groan from where Ladybug was.

   “Enough with the puns! I’ll make you so energized you won’t be able to think straight! So no more puns!!” Caffined let out loudly, lifting the straw and aiming it towards Chat Noir. He released a dark brown colored light, that grew lighter as it transported through the air. Chat leaped up and out of the way, casusin the beam of light to hit right in the middle of the mirror Ladybug was holding. “Nooo!” Caffined yelled, turning and trying to escape his beam when it failed and slung him in the neck. “Hah!” He called, looking at the superhero duo. “You just gave me more energy!” He turned with his fists extended by his hips, awaiting to embrace the ‘energy’ he thought he would be consuming.

   “Have I ever told you my lady, you’re the cream to my coffee.” Chat slung his arm around her shoulders only to have her shrug it off.

   “Really? Enough of the puns Chat.” She said as she watched Caffeined slowly drop his arms to regular stature by his side, his blinking slow. “Alright. Action time.” She said, nodding to Chat Noir as he called upon his special power, running towards him and swiping the straw, making it break in half and a dark butterfly flew out from the broken parts. She swung her yoyo, capturing the akuma and purifying it.

   “Bye-bye little butterfly.” She said, grabbing the now empty bag of decaf and tossing it in the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!” She called out, the bag dissolving into ladybugs and spreading around Paris, returning people back to normal. Her earrings beeped, warning her she had two minutes left. “Chat, do you think you can take care of him? I’m about to transform back.” He nodded, extending his fist.

   “Pound it!” They said excitedly, jumping and separating their ways. She jumps and lands on the roof, looking around and figuring she should just head on to school and detransform there while she could. She could easily drop down, and claim she’s fallen again. One side of being a klutz, falling is normal for her. She arrived at the school, looking around before jumping onto the second floor, entering the library and one of the corners where no one was and releasing her transformation. Straightening herself, she exited the room, looking around to completely make sure she was alone before completely exiting the room and heading to the locker, waving at Alya as she arrived.

   “Hey!” She said happily. The interactions with Chat Noir had brightened her mood a little, even through the puns. “Did you get the homework done for Ms. Mendeleiev class?” She asked.

   “Yeah, almost. I didn’t answer one question because I couldn’t figure it out.” Alya explained, slinging her backpack over her shoulder so that they could head to class. “You?” She asked.

   “Yeah, all of them! I couldn’t sleep last night so I ended up finishing it.” Which wasn’t a complete lie.

   “Awesome. Could you help me with the question?” Alya asked as they linked arms and headed towards Ms. Mendeleiev class.

   “Of course!” Marinette smiled happily at her best friend. “Why would I let my best friend suffer over a question that I completed.” She winked causing Alya to laugh, shaking her head.

   “Good. I may wish that Ladybug is my best friend, but you are my forever bff.” She stated with a smile at Marinette. “I mean, for one, you both do so much good for people, you both have the same hairstyles.” Alya trailed off for a moment thinking. “But you are most definitely more clumsy than she is!” Oh the irony of this. “Adrien was right when he called you our Everyday Ladybug. You really are. Man, you could probably cosplay her really well! Like in the music video for Clara Nightingale!”

   “Yeah? Well maybe I’ll be Ladybug for Halloween.” Marinette snickered. “I’ve got plenty of time to create the perfect costume.” Or she could just transform. But that wouldn’t work out for her favor if there wasn’t a akuma around.

   “Oh girl, I would love for you to make one for both of us!”

   “Oh really?” A smirk played on Marinette’s lips. “And here I thought that you’d do a good Rena Rogue cosplay.” Alya paused before laughing.

   “What makes y-you think that?” Her eyes shifted sideways.

   “You two look alike is all.” She shrugs.

   “Well, if we were playing the roles of best friends, I’d be more fitting to be Chat Noir.” Alya covered herself quickly. If only the girl knew.

   “Maybe I want to be Chat? You’d be such a better Ladybug than I would be.” They entered the class and went to their seats, starting to gather the materials needed for class. Adrien and Nino came in a few minutes behind, laughing as usual at something. Marinette watched them both, glad she had asked Nino earlier for the measurements. Adrien abruptly stopped before he turned to his chair to bend down and tie his shoe… Which was his typical orange Gabriel brand shoe. But something caught her eye and brought back flashbacks. His shoe had a butterfly shape on it. Why, in the world, would Gabriel include the logo butterflies? It didn’t make much sense. It was a logo before his wife disappeared so it couldn’t be in honor of her. She remembered that it was similar to the shape of the Moth miraculous, remembering from the book that Master Fu had. The realization struck her deeply, trying to piece together the little fragments of what was left to clarify that Gabriel Agreste, the father of Adrien Agreste her classmate and love of her life, to not be Hawkmoth. It wasn’t fitting together anymore. More and more reasons were appearing for him to be    Hawkmoth instead.

[catsbiggestfanboy]

This post is about headcanons relating to triggering topics and Neku’s trauma before and after the events of TWEWY. The list of topics included in this post are just below the cut.

List of Triggers: Gore / Blood, Depression, PTSD, Self-Harm, Intrusive Thoughts, Suicide

    One year ago, Neku’s friend gave up his own life in order to save Neku’s. He watched on in horror has he pushed him out of the way of speeding car and take the hit- dying on impact. The ordeal wasn’t bloody, but the way his bones were broken and mangled horrified Neku. He went by his friend’s side and begged for him to wake up and come back to him. But he never did. 

    As he was declared Dead On Arrival and carried off the site, Neku completely skipped the first stage of grief and was left in limbo between anger and depression.

    For an entire week, Neku only left his room for necessities. He barely ate and barely slept. He bottled everything up and kept to himself. His parents attempted to sit him down and talk to him about the situation and they received a door slammed and locked in their faces. Neku’s mom was very adamant about getting him to go to therapy but he refused at every time. 

    “No one knows me better than me,” he thought. “I’m not going to have them waste money to have someone tell me I’m depressed. I already know that. And they can’t fix it.” 

    And so after a week, Neku made an attempt to return back to normal. He had missed a week of school and got make up work though he was barely able to bring himself to complete any work at all. It took Neku four weeks after his friends death to even start returning back to normal- though the normal, smiling Neku with his friend had drastically changed.

    He kept to himself. He didn’t let anyone in. He didn’t want to make any friends that would end up dying on him again. Neku felt that he was left behind in the dust and it was such a shitty feeling that he would never allow it to happen again.

    The only solace he found was in art. He would close himself in his room and look at art, listening to music, and even crack open a sketchbook every so often. Though he lacked proper inspiration to get much of anything done.

    He found he became obsessed with the idea of guardian angels, that those who died watched over them in the afterlife. Though Neku convinced himself that it wasn’t the case he wanted it to be true. That if his friend was over on the other side, that he’d be waiting for him until he died. Neku became at odds with himself whether or not joining him was what he really wanted.

    Neku knew in himself that suicide wasn’t the answer. He didn’t want to be disappointed if there truly was nothing on the other side. Though with his state being as it is, what was there for him to lose?

    Neku found himself in front of the mirror sometimes, wondering if the blades there were sharp enough and he wondered how it would feel. So one day he tried- and it hurt. Yet Neku saw it as a sort of punishment for the mistake he made that led to his friends death. He completely blamed himself. Had he been five feet off to one side, everything would have been different. But fate, as he called it, led to him and his friend being separated. So Neku continued to cut. He didn’t do it many times but his arms still bear the scars. 

    Nightmares haunted Neku in his sleep nearly every night. It was almost the same every time; a recount of the event happening in slightly different ways and with new details. Never did it once end with his friend surviving. Every night the nightmares came it seemed to make the death more gruesome and horrifying than the previous night. His skull would crack open, his body would be more mangled.

    Once he opened his eyes, looked up at Neku and said, “It should have been you.” Neku woke up and brought himself to the bathroom to cut, but it made him too heavy-handed and he cut just a little too deep. He realized his error and called 119 on his own, thus he was brought to the hospital and evaluated. 

    Many options were suggested to Neku including therapy, medication, and keeping to a routine. He voiced that he wanted to use therapy and medication as an end-all-be-all, and asked for other suggestions. He was then given the idea simply make a schedule and keep to it and try to be more open to his family and ‘friends’. Neku understood and was later released to go back home.

    So what Neku did in the afternoon after school was go outside to enjoy the fresh air and walk around Shibuya. In doing this, he discovered a secret connection he had to the city, an understanding and a feeling he hadn’t really noticed before. He would watch the people as they cross the street and judge them on their looks and attitude. Neku didn’t care for any of them- he just wanted to enjoy the outdoors. So he put some music on his headphones to drown out the people as he roamed the streets.

    Neku found himself in the more remote parts of town: Miyashita Park and various alleyways that tourists didn’t dare go down. While in Udagawa Back Streets, he could almost hear a voice beckoning for him to come closer. And for the first time, Neku actually saw and appreciated CAT’s art. It was a spectacular mural that he imagined would have taken days to complete, though inwardly he knew that it was completed within a single night. He could hear the message being placed into his mind as clear as day. 

                    “ Enjoy the moment more. ”

He dearly wanted to take it to heart, to look at the world and the people like he once did. But Neku didn’t want to be betrayed or left behind again. 

“ I imbue my art with two command codes. The first is "Enjoy the moment more." This strengthens the Imagination. The proxy received this signal loud and clear, though past trauma precluded him from responding accordingly. ”      - Secret Report 12

    Nevertheless, Neku was moved by the piece and found himself studying it almost every day. The more he visited it, the more he felt he got out of it. 

    This experience helped Neku to even himself out. He stopped cutting altogether and started to pick back up in school again. Though he was still unable to make connections with people.

    Then one day when visiting the mural, disaster struck.

    Neku valued his memory from the past experiences that turned him into the person that he is. He keeps himself distanced from other people so he doesn’t get too close and make the mistake he once did. This is why he distances himself from Shiki.

    Week 1 Day 4 brings about a large dilemma, as Neku and Shiki watch on as Rhyme sacrifices herself to save Beat. Despite the lack of memory, Neku thinks to himself:

    Neku lacks the ability to remember his friends death, but the event changed him so much and made him such a part of his being that it worked past the entry fee. This is how Neku, even without a memory, is still stuck in his cold and distant way. He still knows there’s a reason he’s the way he is, he just doesn’t remember the details. 

    He lashes out against Shiki when she yells at him for saying he doesn’t need a friend or a partner, that he’s better off alone.

    Clearly something about the memory has been imbued in Neku for him to make such a strong accusation so closely related to trauma that he’s supposed to be unable to remember. 

    Despite this seemingly miraculous memory of Neku’s, his entry fee and the events of that day are ultimately what get him started on the path back down to being his old self again. We can see the very next day that Neku is already trying to reach out and connect with Shiki as she presses for him to change his mind.

    Though it’s worth noting that after Neku says this, someone finally tells him that he’s dead and this is also a factor into his change albeit not as much as Rhyme’s erasure and Shiki’s efforts. 

    Neku then spends an entire day building trust with Shiki to get her to contribute to the Game since their existence hinders on whether or not they succeed. This day and finding out about Shiki’s past builds a trust that Neku hasn’t had with anyone in a long time. Neku comes to value said connection after craving it for so long and so it transfers to his entry fee for Week 2. 

Week 2, Week 3, and endgame development to be added later as I replay TWEWY and get screenshots. 

    Without the distraction of the Reaper’s Game and new friends in tow, Neku has regained all of the memories of his trauma. His nightmares continue and are relentless. While he has changed for the better- Neku is still haunted and devastated by these nightmares.

    It doesn’t happen often, but Neku will go back to cutting at times. The bottles of pills and razors in the cabinet become more enticing the more he looks at them. He now knows what comes after death and he isn’t afraid of it and he feels like a coward sometimes for not following through. But now he has real values and a possible future. So Neku never follows through. 

    Although overwhelmed by guilt and shame, he has to remind himself of his friends and that it was losing a friend in the first place that put him where he was. So every day, Neku wakes up from his nightmare and goes to the bathroom, washes his face, and tells himself to live one more day, for his friends.