#It makes me think if his opinion of Akutagawa will finally change after he saw him die in front of his eyes.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Do you think atsushi has a black and white viewpoint? Can you show examples of that?

I mean, I guess? Why does this ask sound like a literature textbook reading comprehension exercise afvjtcarcnkyvarvkufsgb

I don't think the issue with Atsushi is him having a black and white view as much as it is him being superficial and quick to judge; he has a very high consideration of Dazai because when he first met him he looked extraordinary and good to him, and nothing about Dazai Atsushi finds out is going to change the positive opinion he has of him. He first saw Akutagawa and Fitzgerald as ruthless evil people when he first met them, and that's everything they're ever going to be to him. The issue with Atsushi is that he won't change his mind easily; but I don't think that necessarily means he sticks to black and white views. He loves Kyouka despite he's seen the most ruthless side of her in more than one occasion. He understands where Lucy comes from. He admires Dazai despite knowing he's committed crimes in the past. He even came to forgive his abuser the orphanage director, to an extent. In Dead Apple, he says “a boy always uses the claws of a tiger in order to live”– that does sound like he contemplates there's no true good or evil, and you could hardly expect any less from the Bungou Stray Dogs protagonist.

[nix-illustrating]

Something incredible to me in Beast is just how... wrong Dazai was so often (and, by concequence, Gin). And how he was wrong in a very opposite was from og!Dazai's thinking.

Getting the memories from og!Dazai gave him many advantages, but it also held him back when it came to actually seeing the other people around him. Especially Atsushi and Akutagawa. He was convinced about being born good or evil and innate natures, which is something the story disproves time and time again.

In his mind, it didn't matter that he'd groomed Atsushi for almost five years into being the white reaper. It didn't matter that he killed himself infront of him after making himself the central point of Atsushi's frail sanity. It didn't matter that he fired Atsushi from his one remaining purpose. Why? Because Atsushi was "born good" in his mind because he was good in the original world and therefore any evilness groomed into him would be easily undone without any lasting consequences in his mind.

If he saw Atsushi being reformed slowly by Mori, he'd get to the wrong conclusion. He'd attribute it to nature rather than to Mori being able to rehabilitate him.

And this also shows in his treatment of Akutagawa. He thinks of Akutagawa as being inherently bad because he was in the mafia originally. The whole story is him being victim to confirmation biases when it comes to him and, because of that, the same happens to Gin. His idea with Akutagawa was never, at least to my understanding, to make him into a good man of the Agency, but rather have the ADA hold him under their care to unleash against threats. He didn't believe Akutagawa could become a proper ADA member (because he wasn't originally) but believed that the Agency would take him in anyway (because they took in Dazai and Kyouka in the original universe) and keep him from lashing out unless there was an enemy ahead of him.

And Gin gets fed this belief. It's why she doesn't talk like there will be a point in which Akutagawa might be reformed into a good person. Or that what he needed was to learn to calm down and organize his priorities. She believes he cannot change because that's what Dazai has taught her. Akutagawa's objective by the end of Beas isn't finding her anymore because he needs to better himself for himself and to prove Gin wrong. Not to reach her expectations or demands, but to prove her wrong, to show he is capable of change.

And, surprisingly enough, it's Atsushi who has the best take about Akutagawa in the final chapters, even though in Akutagawa's mind all of their judgements were put as if the same. From Atsushi's words, at least, Akutagawa is described as someone who is bad, who can't understand or separate violence from their objectives and who'll prioritize the violent option above even his objective, but he never expresses the opinion or feeling that that's his nature or he was born, likely because Atsushi know better than anyone how much someone can change or be changed. Atsushi doesn't think Akutagawa is a good person, but doesn't see him as someone incapable of becoming one (which does have some beautiful implications of SSKK always being able to understand esch other better than other can, even if they don't react or deal with the knowledge all that well).

And Dazai in the original universe thinks a lot more like Beast Atsushi than Beast Dazai (I could write a whole novel about the similarities between Original Dazai and Beast Atushi, because oh my god are they interesting). He doesn't believe in good and evil as something inher of someone nor does he see good and evil as concepts that are set in stone, but rather something personal to individuals. It's why I think even if Dazai was sent back in time to the exact point Beast Dazai received the memories, he would have gone through a completely different route when it came to changing the outcome of things. But also because he's changed since leaving the PM and it doesn't seem like Beast Dazai ever really grew up after getting the memories, he stayed both childish and a child.

[dazaithefirst]

AtsuLucy & AtsuKyou

Disclaimer:

I do not hate any of the characters, except Fukuchi Ochi, and I respect every ship BSD has. If I could marry every single one of 'em, I would. This is a post of my opinions about AtsuLucy and AtsuKyou. Also, there are manga spoilers here so I hope you wouldn't mind. I hope I won't get canceled here like how I got in Facebook because I ship AtsuLucy and not AtsuKyou/Shin Soukoku. As I've said earlier, I respect all the goddamn ships and I just want somebody to here my opinions or I just want to simply say it here. If I've said a wrong thing, please notify me. Thank you and take your time reading it!

I am a big AtsuLucy shipper. To be honest, I like how they look out for each other. Here are some of my insights and why do I ship them:

They experienced the same type of abuse (not that I wanted to be abused lol) so there might be times that only the two of them can know what's this and that (okay, is head canons alrighty? I hope so);

Atsushi is a good guy. In fact, he is a cute adorable fluffy little angel but we all know that he doesn't like his enemies like the Port Mafia and The Guild. But when they defeated Lucy's Anne of Abyssal Red, he felt sorry and said that he understands what she feels;

The way Atsushi sympathizes with her despite knowing just a part of her past, I love it. I need more of it. It makes my heart flutter;

Also, the way he approached Lucy after losing to him, is so cute, awkward and soft all in one. Imagine your enemy asking if they can do anything for you, damn Lucy is one lucky girl;

Manga Spoiler, when the ADA was accused of being the nation's terrorist, Lucy made a rallied outside the government just to say that "Atsushi is not evil" and "The Detective Agency is innocent", oh how I wished she worked in the ADA even as a part time (it was Ango who spilled that Lucy did it and maybe the latter didn't expect that);

Atsushi was certain that he saw Lucy after the Three Way War and said that he hopes Lucy isn't teaming up with the criminal organizations (Port Mafia's one of the organizations I guess) to take revenge on them. And please, notice how Atsushi was straight looking at the paper he was holding and then BAM! he saw Lucy, I mean if it's the tiger's ability then otay, I'm not gonna be delulu anymore *sniffs*;

Lucy gave Atsushi the parachute she was saving for her own escape. She let him escape Moby Dick through her ability and Atsushi was worried about her safety for she's gonna be trapped there. He even promised to save her there and he was going to went he infiltrated Moby Dick but sadly, Shin Soukoku suddenly sailed so even I have forgotten that Atsushi promised that he was going to save Lucy. It was funny for me when they got a chance to have a little casual talk when they've retrieved Kyouka's parents' documents;

Manga Spoiler, lastly, Lucy was a great asset when AtsuKyou are heading next to the Sky Casino, where Sigma is. After some events happened in the Sky Casino, Sigma fell on the sky and Atsushi jumps out of the Sky Casino and catches him but he eventually let go of Atsushi. Nathaniel's ability hits Atsushi's tail, which is his support, and he was knocked out. Then my girl Lucy saw it and jumps off the Sky Casino too (like it wouldn't cost her life), she reached out for Atsushi's hand and then voila! Welcome to Anne's room;

Another one is Lucy calls Atsushi by the name "Toraneko" which means tabby cat like how Akutagaw calls Atsushi "jinko." And then I just realized that Kyouka never called Atsushi's name or maybe it's just me?

Anyways, I am itching for Bungou Stray Dogs Season 4 ackk!!

Yes. I did shipped AtsuKyou at the beginning of the series. Okay, lemme just share some of my insights about this ship:

I shipped them when I literally thought she was 16 but it turned out that she's 14. It's the first red flag for me. I know that Atsushi is a baby but Kyouka is literally a minor.

At first I thought it's was fine 'cause they only have 4 years of gap;

But had anyone never thought that Kyouka's behavior towards Atsushi is like Akutagawa's behavior towards Dazai;

Remember that one scene in season 2 where Atsushi was finally caught by The Guild and Kyouka just stood there crying and just said, "Why? Why did you show me the light? Why did you give me hope? Goodbye. Please don't give me anymore light."

Okay, I admit. That was very pathetic. But as I think about it, she had trauma and was literally abused for three years or so, so I really can't blame her. Kyouka was told that she is more suited in the dark and all she knew that time is that she killed her parents with her ability. What a sad life, bub;

When I've read the manga, I've read it after season 2 'cause I was growing impatient for season 3, there were so many changes to the anime like the second picture of AtsuKyou up there. Atsushi was supposed to land on Kyouka's shoulders and not in her lap;

The scene where Atsushi asked Kyouka how's the bathwater was so cute. They looked like a couple to me and it just reminded me that I'm gonna be single forever;

And when Kyouka passed the entrance exam, I was so happy (of course who wouldn't). I dunno why but I saw a platonic relationship in my laptop's screen. (Their "Welcome home", "I'm home" of them looks like they're a married couple tho). But when Kunikida scolded the both of them, I saw siblings. ISTG THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYES!

To be straight to the point, I think she's either unhealthy attached to Atsushi because he showed her light or she's just overprotective of him (seriously, a 14 y.o girl protecting a 18 y.o baby? otay).

Kyouka is one the characters with a great character development. Some say her character is boring and I can't blame y'all 'cause she have a lil bit of Sasuke's aura, like that one quiet kid sitting beside the window with the face saying that her clan was murded (Kurapika is now drowning in an indescribable emptiness) but Kyouka has a visible soft side so she cute, otay? Tho I wonder where did she learn to drove that car on Dead Apple at the age of 14 'cause my 14 y.o ass can't even step on the gas and brake without shaking in fear. Long story short, despite everything happening on BSD, I'm still a AtsuLucy shipper. I'm still rooting for Shin Soukoku, but AtsuLucy is my heaven.

[parkchuuya]

Foreword: The interpretation better known as unpopular opinion by the blogger seeks to give the reader another point of view but mainly to share the blogger's thoughts. It does not necessarily mean to disregard other opinions from the experts. The blogger is just a casual fan who in many reasons can't put down a pen. It may or may not resonate with your own interpretation. If it doesn't, I apologize. Just scroll down. But if it does, welcome to the club.

Date Written: June 3, 2020

Atsushi and Akutagawa has always been ride or die for Dazai.

Dazai's kids are more rampaging than Odasaku's orphans. They just don't go well together. In fact, they would be willing to kill each other when lazily pushed. But these two no matter how much hatred they have, they could create a blast when they work together, so yes Dazai being a fan of "teamwork makes the dream work". But it was not that these two were made for each other to be a younger version of Double Black. In fact, their representation to their senior is much more than just a Shin Soukouku. They both reminded Dazai of his past and present and possibly future.

Back in his Port Mafia days, it's always been fight or die so Akutagawa had to be strong or stronger in order to live because that's Port Mafia. Imagine having the power to control the underground, you have to be strict and merciless and more authorative. Akutagawa's health is crucial that's why Dazai had to break his bones before anyone could kill him for good. This rather cruel treatment Akutagawa received from his mentor crafted a somewhat goal to him as his motive to fulfill the standards Dazai had set. It became his ultimate goal that later gone wrong and bloomed a feeling of anger and hatred. This became more intense when Dazai had gone MIA, abandoned his mission, and left Port Mafia. It's as if Akutagawa had lost all strands of hopes he was willing to build to get that approval and of course who wouldn't get hurt like that. He's ghosted.

But did he really not care about his eldest son?

I think Dazai purposely left that kind of impression to Akutagawa so he would hate him and continue to get stronger and one day prove to him how he gotten strong; and that he would match his soon-to-be partner in crime, Atsushi my baby. That's why whilst fighting his own demons, Dazai managed to escape before anyone could notice that he's sinking... and he wanted Akutagawa to apply all he has taught him since day 1 and one day, be able to finally realize what it meant to be "strong".

On the other hand, Dazai had to tame the beast and recruit him to become a member of Armed Detective Agency. While Akutagawa is in the dark side, Atsushi with his naive, innocent and pure posture needs to be on the lighter side since opposite attracts. Dazai knows Akutagawa will do everything to surpass his goals so he thought he should be fine in the Port Mafia- secretly hiding his intention of preparing the two as mini double black version for the bloody battle against Fyodor the rat Dostoyevsky. As a detective, Dazai's treatment to Atsushi is soft compared to Akutagawa who sufferred in a lot of killings. By murdering people, Akutagawa had somehow found a reason to live not for himself but also for his sister, Gin. Unlike Akutagawa, Atsushi was more vulnerable, more tender that if he's been told to kill himself, he would arguably, eventually rather do over a period of unfortunate time. So Dazai had to carefully mold him and build barriers to Atsushi's fragile vessel sans giving him the idea of being "privileged".

That does mean different treatment means biased?

I don't think that's the case.

Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era, Chapter 3

In the Dark Era, when Odasaku asked Dazai about his subordinate Akutagawa I was convinced that Dazai already  "approved" Akutagawa's strength because if not, then there's no need for him to passively invite him in Port  Mafia. There's no need to waste time of hard training without special treatment. And the question still lingered at the tip of my tongue waiting to recall of what we known as an excuse or "reason". I think Dazai saw Akutagawa in him. No emotion at all. Just a powerful stray dog running around the alley slums, doing everything to survive. He's filled with anger and revenge and that's what keeps driving him to hold on. Even if it's cruel, even if it's painful. Back to history, Dazai Osamu appreciated Ryunosuke Akutagawa and he looked up to him so bad that it affected him when the latter committed suicide. This drove the aspiring author to follow the footsteps of his idol. In BSD, their roles are reversed. It was Akutagawa who was longing for Dazai's appreciation and Akutagawa seems not a fan of his mentor's suicidal habits.

The rather odd truth I found by their relationship was simply assuming. The retrospect taught me to look again in another point of view. Akutagawa is Dazai's past self, emotions, feelings, even boredom. He reminds him of what was the smell of bloodlust and violence again before he realized it was too late. It seems he "hates" Akutagawa because he still could not forgive himself for what happened though no one was saying it's easy. But after the exasperating fight with The Guild, he pulled off his mentor status and finally after a long period of time, he delivered the words by himself in person, "You've gotten strong", a few words enough for Akutagawa to realized Atsushi was right all along and his view of the world was twisted and wrong. Dazai knows it was the only resolution to pave a way for Akutagawa's character development and it needs to be him as his superior.

I think the miscommunication between these two were  notably shown. It was like:

For Dazai: Action speaks louder than words; but

For Akutagawa: The pen is mightier than the sword.

Akutagawa's jealousy or should I say, envy as we follow the chapters and the episode was enormous that it blinded him from the very path he wanted to take. The paces became blurry and muddy it was like he stepped directly on a quicksand and he forgot what he should do at times of chaos that killing is not always the right solution. This is why Dazai could not reach him in the first season's ending song. He does not know when enough is enough and because they were both a shadow of darkness in the past, there was only one boat eligible for one person and Dazai chose to save no one nor himself. This could also explain at least for me, when Dazai touched Atsushi's head, Akutagawa cried in blood. The blood represents his anger saturated with confusion and betrayal. Why did it have to be Atsushi and not him. But this could also explain that the both of them were submerging and they needed someone whose heart is strong no ability could ever tear, someone whose soul is pure and innocent. Someone who understands both good and evil but proceeded with kindness. He did not choose between them. He simply sought salvation and by faith, he met Atsushi.

Changing the focus to Atsushi, who's been tortured in his childhood, tormented, and broken, he was way unfortunate than the both of them. For the sake of his mental health, Dazai had to guide him into the light even though it means staying with him in the present. He even let himself captured by the Port Mafia to obtain information regarding the 7 billion bounty put on Atsushi's head. If someone asks me, I think he's already melting the brick facade he built for himself and Atsushi was the only one who notices that he's trying to get better. Atsushi is the living proof of Odasaku's last words, to be on the side that saves the poor because his life will at least get better, that is... if you're trying to live. Why did he obey Odasaku aside from the fact that he was his only true friend? Wasn't it because he felt guilty or he's just sentimental? No. It's because... he actually wanted to taste how living actually is. And he did. Now, things are going to change. For him, for Akutagawa and also for Atsushi.

And for Dazai, he caught himself tangled by Atsushi's healing abilities. He reminds Dazai of the beauty of the world without violence. Atsushi's view might find argumentative but at least it's philisophical. Atsushi always find the right words whenever Dazai talks to him. A simple nod, and "yes" brought a slight suprise to him. It's Atsushi's nature that even knowing the good and evil, Atsushi wish to perceive good and kindness. And to this extent, the rotten past Dazai was trying to conceal felt a permission to be forgiven. It took only one touch in the forehead for him to approve of Atsushi and as he tried to get along with him, he is also learning and developing. Atsushi might open doors for Dazai and also for Akutagawa to completely move forward.

After the war shin sokoukou had gone through, Dazai showed us that these two when guide together, is like a perfect harmony that without realizing, compliment each others' strength and value thus also discrediting his contribution, for us to realize that one does not need any appreciation or recognition to realize your own worth.

You are worthy and it's something you should NEVER ask validation from nor apologize for.

That's all for today, I'm beat, notice me Chuuya senpai ;-;

Follow me on my anime amino account where I post all my bsd stuffs ;-;

http://aminoapps.com/p/y0iwdr

[mahkaria]

Of novelists and stray dogs - CHAPTER 3

Visit to the nightmare factory 

Atsushi’s apartment was a small one, barely enough for one person. No one in their right mind with any other option would have agreed to live here. A damp smell, not too far from the sewers’, flew in the air. The walls were a disgusting shade of white with spots of unwashed yellow and dark mould could be seen close to the roof. It looked, Oda thought, like a particularly dirty and unwashed hospital room.

How could anyone let a kid live in this kind of place? Also, how could he stand living here?

It probably is better than how he lived before , he concluded. And wasn’t it painful to realize?

A part of him - the one who had decided to live in the light - wanted to ask him questions, to understand how he had arrived here. But the one hardened by a life of assassination knew it would be futile.

Nakajima obviously didn’t want to think about the past.

He has insisted to get down from his arms when they had gotten near his place. His cheeks’ skin had taken a soft pink colour.

He would have to make sure he didn’t catch a cold, Oda noted.

“I’m sorry if it’s not very clean. I tried to improve it but it didn’t quite work out.”

“It must be hard to live in such a place.”

“Not at all. It’s wonderful to have somewhere I can call my own. I’m going to make some tea.”

He walked to the space which was supposed to serve as a kitchen and took the kettle. It was slightly too high for him, he had to walk on his tiptoes to reach it. The object was caught with utmost care, as if it was a prized possession and filled with water quietly.

A soft, calm smile had settled on his face.

He was in a place where he could afford to relax.

“Do you mind green tea ? It’s my favourite so it’s the only one I have here.”

“Not at all, it’s perfect.”

He likes green tea.

Oda promised himself to remember this detail. Maybe he could buy him some so he could drink it while he was writing?

He looked at the living room/kitchen again. The second noteworthy aspect was how omnipresent books were. They covered the table and the small sofa, some of them had even fallen on the ground. Most of them were about mythology (especially the chinese one) but he could also see some poetry and novels.

“You can have a look if you want.” The boy proposed shyly.

His curiosity must have been more obvious than he thought. How the boy had managed to see it despite not facing him was another question to add to his already growing list.

A few minutes after, a cup of tea was given to him. Atsushi sat. He obviously didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to bother with me. Do as if I wasn’t here. I just want to make sure that whatever was outside doesn’t come back.”

Frost ran over Atsushi’s skin. He felt his spine tense.

Now that the panic had weakened, he could say with almost total certainty it wasn’t over. This man had been searching him, that much was obvious. Looking for a random isolated kid in an enormous city required a significant amount of effort.

He wouldn’t give up so soon.

What if he is outside, waiting for Oda-san to leave?

A roar resonated in his mind.

Don’t act brave now, you were just as scared as I was , he wanted to say to the other part of himself.

It - he ? - huffed softly but before Atsushi could start to lose himself in his mind, Oda talked again.

“Can’t you stay with anyone for a period of time?”

“Not really, I don’t know a lot of people here.”

The adult stared at him with an intensity he wasn’t used to see in someone who actually wanted to help him. A strong light whose origin he wasn’t certain about.

“We haven’t known each other for a very long time, Nakajima, but I want you to promise me something. If what happened sooner repeats itself, I want you to call me as soon as possible, understood?”

“What if I only hallucinated it ?”

It wouldn’t have been the first time he had a panic attack when he went outside. Once, when he had collided with an old man, he had started crying for ten whole minutes, afraid the man would try to hurt him.

Not a pleasant memory in retrospective.

“I don’t think you did.” Oda said carefully (he hadn’t tried to hide the truth and for that Atsushi was grateful) before continuing. “But if you did, I don’t really care, you still needed help.”

“Th-Thank you.”

“Now, do you need a hand for whatever you’re going to do?”

“Those are only exercices a friend gave me. If I don’t do them by myself he’ll strangle me without any hesitation.”

Silence settled over them. Atsushi didn’t really know what to do. Was it okay to leave a guest unattended and focus on something else?

Maybe he could offer him something to do ? But what ?

A thought slowly grew in his mind. Oda had said he really liked what he wrote. Maybe he could ask his opinion on a project he had started working a long time ago?

But would he be comfortable to let an almost stranger read his work ?

His attention went back to the man. The one who had saved him despite hardly knowing him. If he was able to give his trust to a strange kid, then maybe Atsushi could do the same.

He rose up, went into his room and opened the drawer which contained his unachieved manuscript. No one had read it before and even his editor didn’t know he spent so much of his time working on a whole novel.

Will he even find it interesting ?

What disturbed him the most was how personal this novel was. In a way, each story one wrote bore a part of the writer’s soul but this one … It was the purest product of his mind, nothing had been attenuated.

Not the story he most wanted to write but the one he had needed to get out from his mind. Like a splinter but far more painful.

Maybe it would never be published, the testimony of an orphan wouldn’t interest anyone. Not romantic enough.

Or maybe they’d love it which also didn’t correspond to what he expected.

At the end, both applause and complaints are based on misunderstanding.

He went out and put the precious object in front of Oda.

“If you’re bored, you can always read it.”

Blue eyes lighted up like a child’s in front of a firework. Incomprehension slowly yielded in front of recognition and surprise.

“Thank you, I’ll take care of it.”

“I know you will.”

In the dark warehouse, Dazai stared with discontent at the young man in front of him. His pale skin had adopted the colors of a rainbow as bruises had been inflicted upon him.

“At the end, it seems a mut will always be a mut.”

A growl came but was quickly subdued by a kick to the chin. New groans from the beast.

“How long has it been? Two months? Three?”

No answer. Well, this time it would be his fingers which would be crushed. Forefinger or middle finger? Why not both after all?

The small digits broke like dry wood. This time, no sound came out. Maybe he was finally getting better at hiding his pain.

“Didn’t I tell you, Akutagawa-kun, when I ask you a question, I expect you to answer?”

Discipline didn’t come easily to the boy but he would have to learn. You couldn’t survive in the mafia without it. Chuuya would already have beaten him to a pulp. Or maybe not, the slug had a tendency to be nice toward kids after all.

“Ye-Yes, Dazai-san? It’s been three months.”

“And you still dare to fight in such a pathetic way? Well, someone sure want to go back to the slums.”

Silver eyes widened with panic.

He’s still not good enough at dissimulating his emotions.

“I don’t!”

“Well, you’re not very good at proving me your motivation, are you?”

“I’ll improve.”

“You should if you want your sister to keep having good living conditions.”

His brows furrowed once again.

Did I hit a nerve, little mut? That’s what happens when you don’t protect yourself better.

Black tendrils came out of the kid’s coat and helped him to get up.

“Finally, if I had been a enemy I could have killed you a thousand times already. We’ll get back to training in five minutes, I hope you’ll do a better job than before or else…”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence, the boy knew perfectly what awaited him if he dared to disappoint Dazai once again.

Finally done with it, he turned his back and walked out.

This mentor role was turning out to be quite the disappointment. He had hoped it would somehow make him realize… something? He didn’t know what but surely a change in his usual work routine should have affected him, right?

Wasn’t the mentor supposed to learn as much from the mentee as the mentee from the mentor? Well, not in this case.

It seemed it had only burdened him with the duty to help a kid live a bit longer. He didn’t even know how long he’d try to fulfill it.

I hope the Boss will assign him somewhere else, I don’t want to keep wasting my time. I’m so bored. Will Ango let me take a nap in his office? Or maybe Odasaku will have an idea to change my mind.

He quickly dialed the number. However, the man didn’t answer as quickly as he usually did. There was a short moment of latency which the assassin didn’t usually impose on Dazai.

“Dazai, what’s wrong?”

“I’m bored.”

“Training again?”

“He doesn’t learn anything. It’s like talking with a very stupid goldfish.”

“Aren’t goldfishes supposed to have quite a long memory?”

“Odasaku is right ! It’s even worse than talking to a very stupid goldfish ! What are you doing?”

“I’m with Nakajima.”

“It hasn’t even been a day and you’re already taking care of him again? I think I won my bet with Ango.”

“He was in trouble sooner and asked me for help.”

“Did he now? What kind of trouble? Did he get lost or something like that?”

“Someone was following him from what I’ve understood.”

“Why would someone stalk a kid like him? Kidnappers usually go to the slums if they want to have a good time.”

“Dazai.”

“Sorry, Odasaku ~ Can you give me informations about the man, Atsushi-kun saw.”

“Someone with red eyes and white hair. That’s all he remembers.”

“A foreigner? It’s not really current to see someone corresponding to this description in this city.”

Why would they follow a young boy with barely any money? Now, that is interesting !

How strange for it to happen when a conflict was about to start. A twelve years old kid couldn’t possibly be connected to this situation…

However, Dazai knew that, somehow, all situations were always related in one way or another. You only needed to dig into them deeply enough to find a link.

You better not put Odasaku in danger, Nakajima Atsushi-kun.

“I hope it doesn’t happen again.”

“You’re going to investigate it, aren’t you?”

“Odasaku, am I really the kind of person to leave a mystery unsolved?”

“Be careful.”

“I always am.”

“Ango would disagree.”

“That’s not fair ! Ango always disagrees with me.”

A soft chuckle escaped his mouth.

It wouldn’t be so bad, a small part of him - the more positive and protected part - thought, to keep living that way with Odasaku and Ango.

Now it’s time to discover your dirty secrets, kid.

His gaze lost itself into what was around him. Lilac coloured the sky and under it a cloudy white. Mist had started to spread on Yokohama.

A cat.

Dazai’s first impression of the orphanage could have been anything. How poorly it was kept, how despair could be read on each child’s face and how they barely appeared to be alive.

However, his focus hadn’t been given to the grey wall where the only touch of colour was the ivy which overcame it or to the stern man who was looking at him with suspicion.

No, it had gone to the animal which was staring intently at him.

Between Sensei and this one, Dazai sure knew how to attract overly intelligent cats. In a way, it was still better than dogs.

“What do you want with our establishment, sir?” The man asked once again.

Anyone in the mafia would already have been shot for this kind of impertinence but he felt generous today and still needed the informations he owned.

“I only have some questions. About one of your former resident.”

His posture tensed like a bowstring and the small light of politeness faded away.

The headmaster looked at his black suit and this time only animosity could be felt from the man.

So you guessed who I was talking about, didn’t you?

As expected from someone who had once been a military man, especially one who seemed to be keeping quite a big secret.

From the informations he had obtained while hacking, Atsushi had been brought to the orphanage while still a toddler. Someone had left him in front of the door and quickly run away. So his almost kidnapping had nothing to do with his parents.

Atsushi was smart and his self preservation instincts strong enough not to get involved with illegal businesses.

It didn’t leave a lot of options.

But, if he wanted to prove his theory, he’d need to prepare himself. He couldn’t do it carelessly.

“I don’t have anything to tell you.”

“You seem to think your opinion will be taken into account.”

The soft click of a security being taken off startled the man.

I’m doing it for Odasaku’s safety.

“If you don’t want those kids to be traumatised, you should lead the way to a place where we can talk. Without anyone disturbing us, of course.”

“Let’s go to my office.”

“Wise decision, sir.”

He walked with the rigidity of a soldier about to go to war, Dazai noticed. The man’s past read itself in all his moves. As if he was trying to intimidate his opponents. He also barely diverted his attention from Dazai.

As if it would save him…

A dog from the army couldn’t do anything against him, after all.

They walked inside. It wasn’t in better shape than the outside. The wooden floor creaked like the bones of an old lady with every steps he took. A true nightmare for all assassins. Kouyou would have hated this place.

The nuns they crossed path threw him a cold glare. How disappointing, they could have spent such a good time together.

They arrived to a poorly lit room. Besides a desk and some shelves, nothing could be seen. It reminded him of Ango, he’d never understand how someone could work in such a neat, organized place.

He’d just want to shoot himself… well, more than usual.

“Please, take a seat.”

He didn’t do as he was told.

Files occupied the shelves’ space, they had the same tern color as the rest of the place. The only anomaly in this bland and lifeless place came from two small colorful books.

Only with one was Dazai familiar. He hadn’t had the time to buy the other.

“What did you want to know?” The headmaster finally said.

“I’d like you to tell me everything you know about Nakajima Atsushi.”

To the man’s credit, his expression remained as cold as winter.

“I don’t know anyone who goes by that name.”

“Really? That’s not what I’ve found during my searches.”

“All my orphans are insignificant, I don’t see what the mafia would want with them.”

“So you acknowledge the fact you know him. That is progress at least. You’re saving yourself from a lot of pain.”

“I’m not afraid of some kid.”

“Well, I’ve never said you were particularly smart, have I?”

“What do you want from him?”

“Nothing, I just want to make sure he is not a threat.”

The man rose and went to the window. For a long time, not a word came out of his mouth.

“He is an harmless kid. Just a bit smarter than average, that is all.”

“Is that so?”

I wonder what he is looking at…

With only one eye, he couldn’t identify with perfect certitude what had caught the man’s attention.

For a moment, the idea of torturing him crossed his mind. How easy it would be to make him sing the truth. The only fact Dazai was certain about happened to be : “No matter what, a man would always end up breaking if you pushed him long enough.”

But, if he did, Mori would sooner or later learn about it and Dazai wasn’t in the mood to deal with the consequences. Didn’t really matter. He’d find another way.

The window offered a view of the “garden” of the orphanage. On its right side, a small decrepit caban. His instincts told him it was a good place to start.

“Would you mind if I explored your orphanage a bit?”

“Don’t ask if you don’t care, boy.”

“How cold, I was just trying to be polite.”

“I won’t tell you anything but I can’t force you to leave.”

“Except if you want to deeply regret it.”

Hatred and disgust ignited on the man’s face under the form of a scowl.

His defeated opponents always carried it. At least, this one could be happy to still have all his blood in his veins.

Red, from his experience, was an annoying colour.

“What are you doing here?” He groaned.

Chuuya’s expression turned sour.

“Do you think I like playing the babysitter for you?”

It would have been convincing had the redhead not been playing with young kids who looked at him with wonder.

“Your hat is so cool, Big brother !”

Dazai snorted.

“It is, isn’t it ?” Chuuya smiled.

“Yes !”

“Kids sure are blind.”

“Shut up, fucking mackerel !”

“What does “fucking” mean?”

“Yes, Chuuya, what does it mean?”

“Haruhiko, come back here immediately !” One of the caretaker ordered.

She had the same stiff expression as anyone in the orphanage, as if her individuality had disappeared due to a too long exposure to the place.

The boy jumped. His brown eyes went to the woman, something akin to terror in them. The other kids followed and slowly withdrew. Their warm sympathy had totally left them. They had adopted a glacial suspicion almost unsettling on children.

Chuuya didn’t say anything but his discomfort stood as obvious as the sun.

“We just need to check something” Dazai said. “We won’t bother you too much.”

When all of them had retired, Chuuya finally looked at his partner once again.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Boss told me to make sure you were taking your job seriously and you know it perfectly well.”

“I always take it seriously !”

“Sure and I am a dancing fairy.”

“You certainly have the height for it.”

Since Chuuya had joined the Port mafia, Kouyou had somehow managed to teach him self-control. That’s why he only tried to break the bastard’s noise.

“So what are you doing here? It doesn’t have anything to do with our job, right?”

“Of course not. It’s just personal business.”

“Personal business?”

Chuuya’s incredulity was justified. Usually, Dazai’s “personal business” consisted of failed suicide attempts and date with frivolous women too stupid to notice the underboss was making fun of them.

But right now? Behind the fake joy, a steel concentration had awoken.

What had prompted this change?

Was it about Oda. Or maybe Prof?

As lost as he was in his thoughts, he didn’t immediately see Dazai walk toward the storehouse. The building looked ready to collapse on them at any time.

Wouldn’t it be funny for two of the most feared mafia executive to die because of rotten wood?

The interior didn’t seem less miserable than the rest. Rusty tools everywhere on shelves, this place was a tetanus hazard through and through. A carpet eaten by worms and which waved on the ground, totally deformed.

“Why do I always end up in this kind of situation because of you?”

Dazai wasn’t listening to him. That much was obvious. With his only available cinnamon eye, he kept staring at the carpet as if it held the key to a successful suicide.

He rose it.

A trapdoor.

“Seriously, what are you looking for?” Chuuya repeated. “This whole situation looks dead fishy.”

It was locked but not for a long time…

The stairways it revealed didn’t seem sturdy. However, no moss had grown on them and a part at the end had been fixed recently. The nails still had a shiny aspect. Someone had come here not too long ago.

The inside was as dark as a tomb. No window, no aeration, the air had a smell of close spaces and something else which reminded Dazai of decomposing meat or at least of illness. Anyone not used to it would have been discouraged a long time ago.

Thanks to their phone’s light, they were able to know where they were walking. At first, there was nothing but a long corridor with walls of stone. Chuuya, tired of Dazai’s slower path had overtaken him a long time ago.

Nothing really caught his attention for the moment. He had expected to find the revelation he was waiting for sooner. Why did life have to be so much more boring than fiction?

A gasp.  

“Dazai?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Seriously, what the fuck is this place?”

“Well, an orphanage of course, I expected Chibi to catch up on that.”

“Just come here instead of being an asshole !”

He still wasn’t at Chuuya’s level.

“Did you see a scary ghost?”

“Shut up and come.”

“Yes, yes, what is -”

Well, he hadn’t really expected to find something like that.

What a disgusting picture…  

In front of them, behind bars, an image full of black and dark red like a contemporary art painting. Claws marks had destroyed the structure of the room (well, it was more of a cell if one wanted to be accurate) and the ground had been dirtied by a too wide amount of blood for its owner to still be alive.

He had seen Port mafia’s torture rooms in a better shape than this.

“Well, shall we go inside, chibi ?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with the mafia?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I’m not ruining my shoes for your bullshit.”

“But you can’t ruin something so ugly !”

“Fuck off.”

Picking the lock didn’t take a long time. It would have been as easy as breathing if the old thing hadn’t resisted like a very stubborn mule.

He walked on the ground still a bit slippery, though the blood dated back, such a large quantity would probably never totally dry. Not with such a low temperature.

If he had only come as an insurance, his curiosity had now been picked. This whole situation was far more interesting than a poor gang war.

What kind of secret does this place hold?

The claws’ marks had the dimension of his forearm. If someone had stood in front of them they would have lost their head. How lucky of them !

Yet, the blood didn’t belong to a victim of the… beast (creature? monster?) which had been incarcerated here. The puddles’ form didn’t correspond to a struggling victim. Too linear. Had they been willing or was it something else?

Probably something else.

He kept looking.

No other clue.

Well…

If you couldn’t find the solution to a problem, it could only be for two reasons : you needed to adopt another approach or… you hadn’t looked well enough.

His focus increased.

The beast is put into the cell. At first, it doesn’t fight back, it stays against the wall, it doesn’t understand why it is locked away. Then everything changes, his body hurts, the lack of space is driving it mad. It jumps against the wall… first claw mark… but nothing happens.

It tries again and again. Still nothing. Its mind is drifting. It does the only thing which can offer freedom from its instincts.

Blood…

Blood…

More blood…

Its conscience comes back. It is limping. Why does life hurt so much? It falls against the bars, it doesn’t want to remember its imprisonment.

Dazai opened his eye and walked toward the exit, his phone held tightly in his hand. He lowered it on the ground. Slow characters were written upon it ( - kanjis, his mind quickly clarified).

The writing was scrawny and oddly familiar. He had spent the night before watching it after all.

I knew this kid was going to be interesting.

“Are you fucking done?”

“With you? Always !”

“Fuck off !”

He ended up not telling anything to Chuuya. The whole situation would reach Mori, no doubt about it, but he needed time to determine the best course of action. After having tracked Odasaku’s phone, he was walking toward him.

His path led him to a boring building with children playing in front of it. They chuckled for absolutely nothing. A mysterious and free joy to be living in the present, Dazai would never understand it.

He didn’t even know whether he wanted to.

Now, how to find the right flat? Why not ask to the old lady there?

Five minutes and a picked lock later, he looked inside. None of the two had noticed his presence as busy as they were talking.

“I’m not saying realism isn’t important ! Reading is an escape from reality, why would you want to read about something which is constantly stressing you out?” Atsushi said.

His vivid hands movement had the distinctive sign of excitement. Something which had lacked in their earlier conversations.

“Are you saying it is not necessary to a story?” Odasaku’s tone was teasing despite his neutral expression.

Atsushi huffed in soft exasperation which prompted a soft chuckle from Odasaku.

Now that was surprising.

He looked closer at his friend, at the man who - despite his wish to be a good person - never fully managed to escape the darkness. A light had appeared, a still hesitant glimmer yet a beautiful one.

Is it happiness? Is it what it is ?

His attention went back to Atsushi. To the kid who was probably an extremely dangerous ability user, to the kid who managed to make his friend smile.

Well, I guess he can stay.

He inhaled deeply. He would have to accomodate if he didn’t want trouble to arise but it would be worth it.

Now, to make a striking entrance. He jumped quickly in the living room.

“Odasaku ! How could you not invite me to see Atsushi-kun with you?”

Atsushi shrieked.

[straycatsacademia]

Port Mafia Pastries Ch. 3: Movie Dates

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18231035/chapters/44075833Ao3 Link

Soon enough, Friday came, and Akutagawa couldn’t remember the last time he was this nervous. He wore a nice sweater and jeans, realizing that Atsushi hadn’t actually seen him out of his work clothes. He heard a knock at the door, and when he opened it, he breathed out in relief. Atsushi was wearing jeans and a nice t-shirt, and Akutagawa was surprised to see muscles on his arms.

“Hey, I thought about bringing dessert, but I realized nothing would probably live up to your standards,” Atsushi laughed.

Akutagawa shook himself out of the trance he was in and cleared his throat. “Anything you bring would be fine,” Akutagawa replied. He could hear his voice shake and he cursed himself. Atsushi gave him a weird look but said nothing.

“Wow, your apartment is really nice,” Atsushi complimented.

“Thanks, my sister helped design it,” Akutagawa smiled fondly.

After talking a bit more they started to get out the ingredients for the meal they were going to cook. Akutagawa thought he’d start with a simple meal of vegetables and chicken. However when he saw Atsushi grab the knife to start cutting the zucchini, he thought even that might be too much.

“What are you doing?! You’re gonna cut yourself! Here, let me show you,” Akutagawa sighed. Putting his hands on Atsushi’s, he helped guide him. After a few seconds, he noticed Atsushi was staring at him, and that their faces were very close. Blushing, Akutagawa put down the knife and went back to preparing the chicken.

The rest of the cooking portion of the night was uneventful, as they fell into a comfortable silence. Once the food was done and they sat down, Akutagawa started internally panicking again. What was he going to say? What were they supposed to do but look into each other's eyes? Should he turn on the tv? Would that be rude?

Atsushi smiled at him and started digging into the food. Akutagawa started eating too, and after they talked about the food, the conversation flowed much easier.

After dinner, they decided to watch a movie. Atsushi was horrified Akutagawa had never seen a Disney movie, so now they were watching The Lion King. Except when Akutagawa agreed to watch a Disney movie, he wasn’t expecting a crying Atsushi.

“Atsushi, it’s not real. No lion actually died, it’s pointless to cry about such things,” Akutagawa sighed.

“B-but it’s still so sad! Simba lost his father, because his own uncle killed him!” Atsushi sniffed, leaning his head on Akutagawa’s shoulder as he cried.

Akutagawa froze. Shit, what was he supposed to do now? Hesitantly, he wrapped his arm around Atsushi as Atsushi dug his head into Akutagawa’s neck.

Akutagawa tried to relax to make Atsushi more comfortable, but he could feel his entire face flush. Soon enough Atsushi had stopped crying and was laughing and singing along with the movie, yet he continued to lean on Akutagawa. Akutagawa couldn’t help but think that Atsushi was very comfortable.

Then, much to Akutagawa’s horror, the romance started… as Atsushi was laying on him. Akutagawa’s face felt like it was on fire as “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” started playing. Akutagawa immediately regretted allowing Atsushi to pick the movie.

“Have you ever felt like that towards someone, Akutagawa?” Atsushi asked him.

Akutagawa coughed into his hand and looked away from the screen. “No, I’ve never been in love before,” he replied.

“Oh,” Atsushi said. Akutagawa couldn’t tell if he was happy or sad by his answer.

“Have you?”

“No, I haven’t been in love before either. It looks nice though,” Atsushi hummed.

Akutagawa agreed, and finally the horrid song was over. Akutagawa let out a sigh of relief, but it didn’t last long as soon Atsushi yawned and snuggled into him closer, and Akutagawa was sure Atsushi could hear his heart beating out of his chest.

“Akutagawa, are you sure you weren’t in love with Dazai?”

Akutagawa sat up quickly and Atsushi yelped as he was shoved off the couch.

“What? No! Why would you ask something like that?”

“You always just seemed to value his opinions over everyone else's, like nothing else mattered besides his approval. Including me,” Atsushi whispered.

Akutagawa’s face softened. “Your opinion means much more to me than Dazai’s” Akutagawa assured him.

Atsushi’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Really. Now can we get back to watching the movie?” Akutagawa asked, uncomfortable with expressing his affection for Atsushi.

They both sat down and to Akutagawa’s surprise, Atsushi moved closer to him and rested his head on Akutagawa again.

“If you value my opinion so much, can I call you Ryuunosuke?”

If Atsushi couldn’t hear Akutagawa’s heart beat before, he certainly could here it now.

“S-sure,” Akutagawa managed to stutter out.

“Okay, Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi said, and then returned his attention to the movie.

Ryuunosuke was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn’t even realise the movie had ended.

Atsushi sighed. “Well, I better get back to Kyouka,” Atsushi said sadly. He got up off Ryuunosuke and he suddenly felt cold.

“Wait!” Ryuunosuke grabbed his arm. “Do you want to do this again? Dinner and a movie?”

Atsushi’s eyes widened and his face turned red. “Like… like a date?”

Ryuunosuke felt his heart beat faster. “If- If that’s what you want,” he stuttered.

Atsushi beamed and wrapped his arms around him. “I’d like that,” Atsushi whispered.

Atsushi waved at Ryuunosuke before he headed home, and Ryuunosuke sat behind his door, smiling.

---

Atsushi smiled the whole day at work. He couldn’t believe Ryuunosuke felt the same way he did. At least… he thought he did? What if he knew about Atsushi’s feelings and just pitied him? No, he knew Ryuunosuke wouldn’t do that.

Pushing through his self deprecating thoughts, Atsushi served his last customer before clocking out. He wondered what he and Ryuunosuke would do for their date. Lost in thought, he felt himself run into something before crashing on the ground.

Rubbing his head, Atsushi realized that “something” was actually a person, the exact same person he was thinking about.

“Akutagawa! I mean, Ryuunosuke? What are you doing here?”

Ryuunosuke groaned, rubbing his chin where Atsushi had run into him. “Well, I was going to surprise you, but I think you just ended up surprising me,” he muttered.

Atsushi laughed and helped Ryuunosuke up. “Oops, sorry about that. Are you off work? Wanna do something?”

“Like a date?” Ryuunosuke smirked.

Atsushi blushed. “No! I mean, yes? If you want to? I don’t want to pressure you-”

Ryuunosuke covered Atsushi’s mouth with his hand to keep him from rambling. “Relax, I actually came here to see if you were free to go to the movies with me. A new movie came out that I want to see, and I was wondering if you were up for going on our date now,” Ryuunosuke coughed into his hand, blushing.

Atsushi beamed. “Yes! Let’s go!” Without thinking, Atsushi grabbed Ryuunosuke’s hand to drag him to the theater, and turned red when Ryuunosuke squeezed his hand back.

They talked about their days on the way to the movie, which Atsushi now realized he had never actually asked Ryuunosuke which movie it was.

“So… what are we seeing?”

“The new Alien movie,” Ryuunosuke smiled.

Atsushi stopped. Shit, he hadn’t thought about the fact that Ryuunosuke liked horror movies. He gulped, and Ryuunosuke frowned at him.

“Are you scared of horror movies? We can just go see something else,” Ryuunosuke told him.

“No! I just haven’t heard of it before,” Atsushi laughed nervously. “Let’s go,” Atsushi told him, walking into the theater before he changed his mind.

Taking a seat in the back row, Atsushi breathed in and out. “Calm down, it’s just a horror movie,” he thought to himself.

Thirty minutes into the movie Atsushi had regretted everything. The aliens were terrifying and he knew he wasn’t going to sleep tonight. A particular jump attack had Atsushi holding onto Ryuunosuke’s arm for dear life.

“Atsushi, we don’t have to stay,” Ryuunosuke whispered, holding Atsushi back.

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine as long as I have you with me,” Atsushi whispered back, smiling back.

Ryuunosuke’s eyes widened, before he wrapped his arm fully around Atsushi, and Atsushi buried his head into Ryuunosuke’s shoulder during the particularly scary parts.

Once the movie was over, Atsushi let out a sigh of relief. Then he realized he would have to let go of Ryuunosuke, and he felt disappointed. However, whenever he went to let go of Ryuunosuke, Ryuunosuke gripped his arm tighter.

Atsushi raised an eyebrow at him. Ryuunosuke blushed, and stood up with Atsushi, moving to grip his hand instead. Atsushi smiled, and they walked out of the theater.

“So… how did you like it?” Ryuunosuke teased him.

Atsushi glared at him. “I’ll stick to Disney, thanks,” Atsushi shuddered.

Ryuunosuke laughed, and this time Atsushi felt himself blush. He always felt a surge of pride run through him when he could make Ryuunosuke laugh, knowing that most people never saw this side of him.

“Wanna come back to my apartment for a bit?” Atsushi asked. “Kyouka is staying with a friend so, it’s just me tonight,” he added.

Ryuunosuke nodded, and they walked to Atsushi’s place. As soon as they got into Atsushi’s apartment, Atsushi turned on all of the lights and looked under all of the furniture as Ryuunosuke struggled not to laugh at him.

“You’re mean,” Atsushi pouted, when Ryuunosuke couldn’t hold it in any longer and chuckled.

Ryuunosuke wrapped his arms around Atsushi, and Atsushi melted. “Maybe, but you still keep me around anyway,” Ryuunosuke murmured in his ear. Atsushi shivered and pulled back, and the look in Ryuunosuke’s eyes made his insides twist. He looked away, and decided to put in another Disney movie.

Ryuunosuke groaned, and sat down on the couch. “If there’s another cringey romance scene I’m leaving,” he muttered.

Atsushi paused in putting in “Snow White” and Ryuunosuke rolled his eyes.

Atsushi snuggled up to Ryuunosuke and started the movie. By the time they finished, Atsushi was sniffling and Ryuunosuke was annoyed.

“That’s such a sexist and stupid movie,” he said.

“What? No it’s not!” Atsushi argued.

“Is too! A woman, or anybody, shouldn’t need a stupid kiss by a man to be validated! Besides, why should the Queen take out her anger on Snow White instead of the patriarchy?”

Atsushi thought about it. “I guess you’re right. Then again, this movie was also made in 1937,” he replied.

“Besides, how can a kiss be so magical?” Ryuunosuke continued.

“Are you saying that because you haven’t kissed anyone? Atsushi teased.

Ryuunosuke blushed. “N-no! I don’t need to have kissed anyone to know that it wouldn’t break a magic spell,” he muttered.

Atsushi paused. “You really haven’t kissed anyone?”

Ryuunosuke coughed into his hand. “Why would I?”

Atsushi shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t kissed anyone either,” he whispered.

They fell into an awkward silence, and Atsushi regretted bringing it up.

“I better go, it’s late…” Ryuunosuke said, getting up from the couch. Atsushi cringed, blaming himself for screwing things up.

“Right,” Atsushi replied, getting off of Ryuunosuke. He walked him to the door, and Ryuunosuke turned to him. Bracing himself for rejection, Atsushi stiffened. Instead, he felt Ryuunosuke’s lips on his.

Atsushi’s eyes widened, but before he could fully process what was happening, Ryuunosuke pulled back.

“See you tomorrow, Atsushi,” Ryuunosuke told him, his face red.

Once Ryuunosuke had fully closed the door, Atsushi let out the breath he had been holding.

He didn’t know how Akutagawa had felt, but that sure felt like magic to him.

[thechillicount]

Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~

[marlikesthings]

I know this chapter wasn’t perfect, but I liked it. I certainly didn’t expect things to finish so quickly, but I got more shin soukoku development, I got to see dazai and atsushi talking (+ proud dazai) and there was even a reference to oda at the end. 

I was very surprised to see akutagawa lending rashomon to atsushi!! I knew akutagawa was too interested in atsushi to kill him. Nevertheless, I never expected him to do that. I expected at best that akutagawa would use rashomon to pull out atsushi (and then have atsushi help him) but this was even better.

Atsushi looks great in black!!

His abilities combined with akutagawa’s are amazing. I am so proud of them. I can't believe their abilities combined are able to tear through abilities (It’s interesting how atsushi and akutagawa can, if they combine their powers, use an ability similar to dazai's nullifying ability).

I want atsushi to help akutagawa realize there are people who care about him and that being acknowledged by dazai should only be an objective, not his main reason to live. Same for atsushi. I want him to realize he has helped many people and that he is strong. Not just physically, but also mentally. I think it's a shame atsushi doesn't realize how mentally strong he is yet he can see that strength in akutagawa.  

They are a great team, not only they are strong, but they also understand each other’s pain. They see in the other what they can't see in themselves. They see the potential the other has but they don't see their own potential. And that's sad. Nevertheless, they are both trying to help the other although they might not accept it. It’s thanks to akutagawa that atsushi decided to confront his past, and it’s thanks to atsushi that akutagawa is changing for the better.

This whole page is amazing. Badass ADA and port mafia. Poor virus ability user XD His face when he realized he's screwed up was great jajaja

Mori and fukuzawa look cool here. Also, I like how they know what the other is thinking and how they acted as if they really considered forgiving the virus ability user.

Well dazai didn’t fail as I thought, but for some reason I am not so surprised, which is weird since contrary to some people who saw this coming, I was sure dazai had made a mistake. Anyway, I can’t say I was necessarily disappointed. I want dazai to learn to rely more on others. I thought that him making a mistake might lead to that, but if there is another way, then that’s also okay for me. I know dazai is very smart, but I don’t think he is invincible. Fyodor has definitely something up his sleeve, and there is still agatha who has yet to make an appearance. I was satisfied with the last scene (which I am going to develop later) because it shows that regardless of his brain, dazai is still human. He can be very smart, but he worries/suffers like everyone else. 

I believe that dazai cares about the agency members, especially kunikida and atsushi (although he doesn’t seem to want to form close bonds which is perfectly understandable considering his past: oda’s death and ango’s betrayal). If we can see dazai finally accepting he cares about them and that he wants to protect them, then I would be happy. I am obviously including all agency members here, but I believe kunikida and atsushi will the first to break down dazai's wall (especially the latter). I don’t think dazai will ever get over oda's death, and I think that’s alright. Oda changed his life and it’s thanks to him he met the ADA. It’s fine as long as he realizes he isn’t alone anymore.

It’s been a while since the last time we saw fitzgerald! I wasn’t expecting him to appear, but am glad he did. 

I know the development was pretty fast, but I don’t think this is the last time we will see fyodor. Why? Look at dazai's face after seeing fyodor’s ability and after they captured him.

He was also unexpectedly quiet when atsushi found him in the boat. 

Dazai is smart and something has been clearly bothering him ever since he last saw fyodor. Was he bothered by his ability? Was he bothered by how easily everything went? I don’t know. For all we know, fyodor could have known going to the cafe was a trap yet he still went. He did seem surprised, but then again, he could have pretended. For example, dazai seemed shocked/surprised last chapter but it turns out he knew fyodor wasn't there. Maybe he planned getting himself captured to find more information of the secret services? Let’s not forget this guy allowed port mafia to capture him just because he wanted information on their abilities. I think this is part of a bigger plan and that this is the calm before the storm. Maybe him and agatha had planned something and will later team up? It would be interesting if that was the case.

Interesting detail: Fyodor knows about the ‘eyes of god’. He might seem surprised, but if he knew about it then there's no way he didn't consider ADA and the guild might join forces to defeat him. He is too smart to make such a mistake. Or at least that's what I think. 

Also look at fyodor’s face here:

He doesn’t seem troubled at all. He is even smiling. This has nothing to do with it but to be able to kill someone just by being touched... just what is fyodor's ability? 

Another thing that I liked of this chapter was ango's appearance! There are many characters that appear in this chapter and that's a good thing (for me at least). Although, I would have liked to see lucy. She helped the ADA so I would have liked to see her in fukuzawa's recovery party. She isn't the only character missing though.

Kyouka interacting with other agency members makes me happy. Also, it's little bit late to worry about that tanizaki XD Their interaction was very cute. I don't think the director is going to be very hard on them, but I wonder what their punishment is going to be?

What was dazai thinking to not notice atsushi was behind him? Look at his face. He seems surprised to see atsushi. He always notices when people are behind him (like when higuchi and gin were following him), but here he was so concentrated he didn't pay attention to his surroundings...

Anyway, I really liked atsushi's and dazai's interaction in this chapter. First of all, I feel the need to say atsushi's expressions are great XD

Atsushi is so honest with dazai. When dazai was in the mafia, his only two friends were oda and ango. Dazai enjoyed talking with them, but they never told each other what they really thought. Oda only told dazai what he thought of him just before dying, which is a shame because when dazai realized there was someone who understood him, it was already too late. They were in the mafia so that was expected but it's still sad. 

“In the mafia, no one will look at what’s in their colleagues. This is an unspoken rule. They will not open up the lid over one’s chest to look at their heart and comment at the darkness stuffed within. This is a merit of the mafia.” 

(Credit: nkhrchy)

This has nothing to do with the chapter I know but I wanted to quote oda. This quote is so important because it shows how the mafia works (kind of). (This is also relevant for akutagawa).

Anyway, as I already said, atsushi is always honest with him. He always consults him when he has problems (chapter 39) and ask him for advice from time to time. What I want to say is, while dazai must be used to be consulted on certain things, I don't think he is used to people talking about themselves or people talking about their feelings. When he was with oda and ango he knew there were things they couldn't tell each other (except for oda since he was a low level member he didn't have any ‘secrets’. Except the kids, but dazai knew about them. I don't know if dazai knows about his past though). I think that being with atsushi is good for him. I also like how he is the one who ask questions here. He wants to know more about atsushi (and his partnership with akutagawa). He is always willing to listen to atsushi and I love that.

Also, I feel like dazai finally stopped pretending to be always happy. He is finally letting others see a new side of him (it's like he let his guard down). We only saw him acting quiet in front of atsushi (and fitzgerald) so we don’t really know if he is pretending in front of the other agency members or not. I really like how instead of pretending to be happy he allowed atsushi to see him worried/thoughtful. For me, this is proof that dazai acknowledges atsushi and that he feels comfortable enough to show him this side of him. (The more atsushi grows the more he resembles oda. Dazai loves oda, so I think he is finding it hard to keep pretending in front of atsushi. Or at least I hope so).

I hope one day dazai and atsushi will talk about their past. And that maybe one day dazai will tell atsushi about oda. I really want this to happen.

What is akutagawa trying to do? Things have obviously changed for both of them. Akutagawa is too involved with atsushi to kill him simply because he hates him (as he said). He is still trying to kill him though. This is just my personal opinion, but I think akutagawa is trying to kill him because he started feeling emotions he isn't used/supposed to. I mean, he knows too much about him. He works for the mafia. He isn't supposed to be too involved with the enemy. Befriending atsushi right now is impossible. He probably thinks feelings like friendship, trust, etc. makes him weak. I might be totally wrong though.

Akutagawa's shocked face is priceless. Atsushi is trying to make him understand that he isn't weak. If I understood this right, atsushi is telling him that he is strong. That he is mentally very strong. If he wasn't then akutagawa would have died long ago. His stubbornness, his tenacity, all of that saved akutagawa. Sure, he joined the mafia and he killed many people and that's not good but by doing so he managed to live, to survive all those years. I said akutagawa should depend less on dazai and I really think so, but if akutagawa had not made being acknowledged by dazai his goal, then he wouldn't have survived in the mafia and he wouldn't have a reason to live. Just like atsushi. Atsushi helps people not because that's what he originally wanted to do but because the headmaster’s voice forced him to do so. And just like akutagawa, his stubbornness (and the headmaster) is what helped him remain alive. Atsushi acknowledges akutagawa’s pain and struggles. Maybe akutagawa realized that? Atsushi and akutagawa are so different yet so similar. 

Now, akutagawa is working for the mafia (and he is an assassin to make things worse) so I am not sure how he is going to convince mori he won't kill for the next six month. It might just be me, but for some reason I don’t think mori is going to refuse him. Why? It’s not like akutagawa is not going to do anything in those six month. He is going to train in order to become stronger. At the end of the day this can only benefit the mafia. That’s how I see it at least. Of course, in the meantime the mafia will need someone to replace akutagawa, but they are supposed to be a big organization (though, we always see the same characters) so there should be someone willing/good enough to do the work.

I loved the image of atsushi looking far away because he seems so mature. His small world grew bigger, and even without the headmasters words right now, atsushi is helping akutagawa out of pure kindness. There is no reason for him to go out of his way after everything akutagawa did to him yet atsushi can’t bring himself to ignore him. Also, akutagawa proved these last few chapters (especially this one) that he wasn’t as bad as atsushi originally thought. I think this might also have influenced his decision in helping him. 

Moreover, atsushi finally accepted he has to change and that it is time he confronts his worse nightmare (the headmaster). I am so proud of him. I am so happy with all the development shin soukoku has. I am looking forward to how their relationship will go from now on.

Finally, atsushi will learn how to properly control his ability. I’ve been waiting for this moment! Also kunikida will train atsushi!!! Please I need to see that. I want to see them bonding. Kunikida learned from fukuzawa himself and he is a great fighter, so I have high hopes for atsushi. Moreover, atsushi being kunikida’s student! I need it now!!    

Dazai’s smile at the end is kind of hard to describe but it was a gentle smile (and I think it was also nostalgic because he was reminded of oda. I am not sure though). The way he looked at atsushi is also worth mentioning. Such a gentle look. Dazai is so proud of atsushi. I think that if oda was here he would love atsushi because that guy represents everything he believes. Where is my oda/atsushi interaction that I desperately need?

I was surprised to see akutagawa-oda parallels with “a mafia member who doesn't kill”. I also see oda-atsushi parallels. I mean, oda saved dazai just before dying. His words made him leave the mafia and stop killing. Here, atsushi is the one 'saving' akutagawa. 

It's interesting to notice how natsume saved oda, who in return saved dazai, who saved atsushi, etc. It’s like a chain. It’s also interesting since we know that the one who brought akutagawa into the mafia and taught him to kill is dazai, and now dazai’s new student is the one trying to save akutagawa. 

Anyway this was a good chapter for me. I love parallels, and my three favorite characters (atsushi, akutagawa and dazai) got a lot of panels so I am very satisfied! And of course oda’s mention at the end made things better (although it was also sad, because it reminds us that oda isn’t alive, why??) I know it was fast-paced but all the things above made this chapter worth it for me.

I want to see more of dazai and atsushi! I mean, oda/atsushi parallels were already there, but this is the first time that dazai seems to acknowledge this fact (though indirectly) in the manga. I know that the reference was for akutagawa, but the one who saved him was atsushi. I also wonder what does dazai think of akutagawa right now? His situation reminds him of oda, but that’s all we know. Of course, I am also looking forward to how akutagawa/atsushi partnership/relationship is going to develop!