#It makes me so upset I genuinely break down crying so much when I read fanfic now
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ladybird-with-a-pen · 9 months ago
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The Tragedy of the Clones
I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic recently as I’ve gotten into the Star Wars fandom and the thing I keep on getting stuck on and grieving - like legitimately grieving - is the inherent tragedy of the clones and their circumstances.
A lot of fics explore the what-ifs and emotional spectrum that the clones feel about their existence and its horrific because while some fics explore the inherent slavery of it all, some explore the idea of what the clones could have done or been after the war.
What good they could have brought or adventures they could have seen or relationships they could have been in.
And they’re snippets - something which makes it even WORSE because you KNOW that they’ll never have that and despite all hopes and dreams, all acts of compassion and loyalty, they never get that, along with the Jedi.
And they never had the option in the first place.
They were just created as a pawn on a board, a tool in a chest to be used once and discarded.
And it’s horrible.
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weebsinstash · 9 months ago
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I'm not typically a fan of pregnancy au stuff for hazbin because it introduces a hell lotta new questions, but anyways, I DO find it absolutely entertaining thinking about a Reader who did the nasty with Alastor and had kind of a friends-with-benefits situation with him and he does his whole 7 year disappearing act without warning you or telling you anything at all (assumedly because he did not have a choice or opportunity) and he comes back, knocking on your front door, "say, doll! What's say we mosey on over to our old favorite jazz club to catch up on old times?"
and suddenly peeking out from behind your back is just the cutest little fawn with a head full of curls who is very clearly Alastor's son, clutching at your apron, "Mama, isn't he the man you listen to those old recordings of? He sounds the same"
Alastor feeling this, this WARMTH in his chest as you invite him inside your home and it's completely different from the last time he was there, filled with everything your son could need, his drawings and report cards from that nice school you break your back to afford stuck lovingly on the fridge and a hot home-cooked meal currently cooling on the stove as Alastor's invited for some food... if he feels comfortable. You and him discuss privately where your son can't hear as you get all weepy, "I'm sorry, but when you disappeared, I couldn't... ASK you what you would have wanted... I didn't want to have some kind of, of PROCEDURE and you hate me for it... and even from the very first scan, I loved him so much... he's my entire world... I couldn't even CONSIDER... getting rid of him. He's my beautiful smart baby boy and i would die for him"
Genuinely I think it would be real funny if Alastor is initially quite jealous actually for having to share you with a CHILD, but the more time he spends around the young boy, the more he realizes, oh, this is quite the upstanding young fellow! His mama raised him right and he likes to help around the house, likes to read lots of books, loves all kinds of music, helps his mother on all the crosswords and word searches and puzzle books, and he's smart enough to suss out pretty quickly, "sir are you my father"
and the second your son receives an answer, just, KICKING THE RADIO DEMON IN THE SHIN, "You're a horrible man!! You call yourself a gentleman but you left my mama to raise a baby all by herself!! You're terrible! Incorrigible! Disrespectful! Untoward!--" Your young son is breaking out the goddamn dictionary and synonyms on this man, "you lying, deceitful, devious, DEPLORABLE--"
And Alastor is watching this little kid threaten to beat his ass and not even caring that he's up against The Infamous Radio Demon, just shouting at Alastor until the young boy is absolutely changing colors in the face, getting SO SO upset for his mama that he's ready to FIGHT OVER IT, and Alastor is just, essentially, breaking out into laughter, "oh, so you ARE my son!! Aren't you a gutsy one!! Put JUST a little force behind that next one and it might actually sting a bit!" and pats the boy on the head. That settles it; he's accepted as Alastor's son like THAT
Of course, Alastor now caring for this boy does not come without its... complications. There might be some 'incidents' if you, for example, have other positive role models for your son, other men who are regularly coming around, making Alastor's new position as the boy's father and your not-quite-husband (yet) feel threatened and unstable and encouraging the Radio Demon to 'act out'. You're so happy to have Alastor back in your life that you don't even notice things are a little off until your son starts mentioning things like "Mama where did Mr Thomas go? He used to come by every Thursday to play chess but I don't remember seeing him for a while?" "Mama I know Benson has bullied me and pushed me down and stolen my things but I saw his mom crying outside the bookstore earlier saying he's gone missing and I think we should help look for him" "Mama I know Mr Alastor said we don't need her and he can teach me but I also like my old piano teacher. Could I have some lessons with her and some with Mr Alastor instead of just all of them with him? I miss Ms. Mason"
But like... you don't want to deny Alastor a relationship with his child after they both have already lost so much time and you don't want to deprive your son of his father without a good reason, so you stifle some of your suspicions. It's all for your son's sake, isn't it? And you can't help but, get a little selfish when Alastor insists on taking you and your boy out, going to see live bands, going to local events, taking your son to the county fair and you feeling tears in your eyes as, your boy finally gets to spend time with his father. It's like... it's like you're a real family... you've always wanted something like this, for him, for them, for yourself--
But... Alastor doesn't... see you THAT way, does he? He displays his emotions much differently than you, and there were even times in the past where Alastor himself drew the line in the sand that, oh yes you two were quite close friends, he has such a deep affection for you, but... romantically? Sorry, sweetheart, but no
... or so he thought. Now that he's back, he sees how deeply you love his son and sacrifice so much for him amd how much your son absolutely adores you and how, completely by yourself, without any of Alastor's help, you raised him into a fine young man that... the Radio Demon could see himself helping raise, a boy he can't help but feel a little pride in helping make and, can't help but feel a little sad he missed all sorts of important milestones for. And of course, of course of course of course, he missed YOU ever so much, and when Alastor looks up from his paper to see you at the stove, hair all out of place and your hands messy as you cook a meal for your son and his father, your little boy dutifully helping clean as you go, he can't help wish that THIS was how he spent his last 7 years.
Lucifer have mercy on anyone who tries to disrupt his new utopia of peace and tranquility. Could you even imagine, could you even fucking imagine you and Alastor are walking with your son and nearby TVs snap on and it's fucking Vox, showing your family on TV, talking shit to Alastor, using HORRIBLE language in front of your son--
And Alastor feels his love for you grow all the more as you use your own magic to surge through the television and begin strangling the newscaster right on the air, "DONT YOU DARE SHOW MY SON'S FACE ON TV YOU FUCKING--" and Alastor starts lovingly conversing with his son about how important it is to stand up for your family and your values as the pair of them watch you throw Vox around his recording studio in a frenzied rage, "You and your disgusting Vees always trying to peddle your worthless garbage to kids, you CREEPS!! BABIES DON'T NEED IPADS, RETINOL CREAMS, SKEEYEE DANCE ROUTINES, AND ATHLEISUREWEAR LEGGINGS THAT GO UP THEIR ASS, YOU CONSUMERIST IMMORAL SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING--"
Snapcut to you rejoining your family on the sidewalk with your hair a mess and visible blood on you while Vox is facedown on the floor in his broadcast unable to move before it cuts to a "technical difficulties, please stand by" screen. Alastor is oh so genuinely joyfully smiling, "Now who wants to go and get some waffles? I say we should celebrate any victory over our enemies with some tasty grub!!" and he takes you and your son's hands and is all but skipping down the sidewalk while his hated rival is bleeding out in his tower somewhere. Oh, Alastor will give the Television Demon his own revenge for daring to try and shame the lovely beautiful mother of his child and his beloved boy on that disgusting show. What kind of degenerate uses children for content, let alone threatens their safety? Alastor will be back for him later and do much, MUCH worse than you did.
For now, though? Alastor just wants to enjoy the sight of you and his son sitting in a booth with him while you all scarf down some hotcakes. A family of his very own, huh? How wonderful. If only his own mom were here to see it...
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mytheoristavenue · 5 months ago
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Incel!Gyutaro who has to hear about all your sexual conquests and short lived relationships. He always rolls his eyes at how nonchalantly you talk about break ups. Until one day, you come to his dorm absolutely distraught. A guy you'd really liked was cheating on you and then he dumped you.
"Jeez, I don't think I've ever seen you cry." He sneers at first, annoyed by being interrupted from his super important game. Then he notices that your hair is messed and you make up looks old. You're always put together so this was a major red flag. "Hey, wait, you're not actually that upset are you?"
All it takes is a nod for him to pull you into his chest, hold you against him. The gesture is so sweet, you can ignore the stale scent of his overworn shirt. "Listen, don't let that fucking chud get you down okay? You dodged a bullet, he probably has a fucking disease."
You tell him you genuinely liked this one and he softens up, petting your hair as he pulls you into his lap. "I know you did..." He sighs. "Don't know why you did but I know you did."
You cry to him for hours, letting him just hold you. You feel bad, knowing he likes you and that your forcing him into an awkward situation. You consider apologizing when you notice he's on his phone. Is he even listening?
It's then that you realize, he's on your ex's Instagram, stalking it, sending him ominous texts from a burner account that read like "Careful getting into your car after you get out of the gym." And "How's it going (full government name), (social security number) who lives at (full adress) with (list of roommates by full government names)?"
You can't help but smile. At his core, Gyutaro is sweet. Very creepy and likely to commit an act of mass violence if he doesn't get laid soon, but sweet none the less, at least to you.
"Don't sweat it, babe," He says, brows furrowed as he tosses his phone to hold you tighter. "No matter how these smooth brained douchebags treat you, I'll always be here for you."
"You really care about me, don't you?" You finally ask, tearing up, trying to bat them away.
"I guess so." He shrugs nonchalantly. "No other girl I'd do this shit for 'cept for Ume."
When had he becomes so cool? Since when could he make you feel anything other than pride when you teased him?
You softened further, hugging back even tighter, beginning to to cry again, abusing the leverage you had over him to make yourself feel better. He didn't mind that much, that was your dynamic.
"Shhh, it's okay, babe. I got you now."
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animelovelover123 · 4 months ago
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Devil May Cry Characters During Threesomes Extra
Parings: Sparda, Urizen, Nelo Angelo, Credo, Kat, Dante, Reboot Dante, Vergil, Reboot Vergil, Nero, and V x Reader
Synopsis: The awaited sequel to my DMC 3way story. I ended up putting off the girls for the future because writing this was really draining. The only exception is the reboot characters as, due to a lack of them, it is one of the twins, Kat, and you. I don’t intend to do the boy-girl pairings because that would be like 120 scenes (if I did the math right) and I think that would kill me.
Trigger Warnings: Spardacest and selfcest warning, the focus is on you but there are moments where characters pleasure each other and references to family ties.
Also some non-con elements (pretty much just with Urizen and Nelo Angelo), bondage, public foreplay and sex, spoilers for DMC1&4&5, oviposition (aka freaky egg stuff), emotional distress, tentacles, exhibitionism, being an experiment subject, size difference, some pain, lack of control, Macrophilia (giants), BDSM, horse crops, Shibari/Kinbaku, blood, double penetration, edging, orgasm denial, and face sitting.
Dante & Sparda
"Just relax my dear, take in the sights and scents around you." Sparda encouraged you as he helped you lay down on the luxurious bed he had moved to the garden. Around the four-poster bed were tall flower plants, painting your eye line with soft greens and colourful petals.
"You really went all out, didn't you?" Dante said, barely restraining the scoff in his voice. He could admit it was a sweet arrangement, but it seemed overkill. "We were just late coming home." Dante hopped up onto the mattress, which was specially made to fit multiple people.
"That is where you are misguided my boy," Sparda corrected as he leaned over the bed to lovingly stroke your hair and cheek. "To us, it may not seem like much, but to someone waiting at home for their partners to return, uncertainty and worry for their loved ones occupying their mind, it can be extremely stressful." Sparda cupped your cheek and lifted your chin a bit to face him, taking a moment to gaze into your eyes. "We must make up for our mistakes and soothe our love’s troubled heart and mind." He then slowly lowers himself to place a feather-light kiss onto your lips, giving you the room to turn away if you were not quite ready to forgive his and Dante's misdeed.
Dante let out a sigh that started amused but ended as being one of genuine regret. He was still not used to having someone waiting for him at home, but it was clear how upset you were when he and Sparda returned 4 days late from the supposed 1-week long mission. But now at least you looked calmer, with your red cheeks no longer covered in tears and your chest raising and lowering at a normal pace. And when he laid down beside you and started to stroke your stomach, hips, and thighs, you didn’t push him away, something that actually soothed his own troubled heart.
“I guess the old lady was right,” Dante mumbled as he watched Sparda start to kiss from your lips to your chin to your neck. “you are better at dealing with ladies.”
==+==+==
This whole idea was based on the fact that in the DMC5 prequel novel Before the Nightmare, Matier (the old lady from DMC2 that fought alongside Sparda long ago) said that “his father was better at dealing with ladies, as well as better at making excuses”, or so says https://devilmaycry.fandom.com/wiki/Sparda which can’t always be trusted but it's not like I can read the Japanese only book myself to check.
Vergil & Sparda
“Slow down my boy.”  Warned Sparda in that gentle, ‘not actually angry’, parental tone as he placed a hand on Vergil’s back to help break through his son’s lustful haze and listen. “You are going a bit too fast, especially here at the beginning. You want her to feel and enjoy every little movement and sensation rather than it blazing past as a numb blur.” It takes a moment, but Vergil does slow down.
“I understand father.” Vergil huffed out, still in a bit of a daze. The rough and quick slamming of his cock into you slowed to a smooth drag, finally giving your body a chance to relax a bit as your trembling arms held you up so you weren’t face down in the mattress.
Sparda, despite being bigger and stronger, had been so very gentle and considerate of you when he did his “demonstration”, only ramping up the intensity to help push you both over the edge. But Vergil, blinded by the desire to prove himself to Sparda and the lust that had built up in him while watching you be fucked by someone else, had dived forward. He had forced himself into your still-seizing core, not even letting you finish your first orgasm before ravaging you. Thankfully Sparda was there to help and guide Vergil.
“She seems a bit overwhelmed Vergil. Look her over, ask her how she is, and care for her. It is your responsibility as the dominant one to take care of your partner. To make sure they are safe, happy, and satisfied.” Sparda instructs, though he had been watching you closely to make sure you were enjoying yourself so knew you were okay, just a bit overwhelmed.
“Right, of course.” This reminder of your pleasure snapped Vergil out of it, at least for the most part. “My darling, how are you holding up?” Vergil ran his hands up and down your back, using just enough pressure to act as a message.
“Lay her on her side for now,” Sparda said, leading Vergil to gently shift your bodies so that you were both lying on your sides facing Sparda. Vergil did not remove himself from you, his primal lust still holding on too strong to truly give you a break. At least it was more of a cockwarming situation now, for the time being at least. “There we are.” Sparda laid down as well, making it so that Vergil was pressed up against your back, giving your neck apologetic kisses, and Sparda was in front of you running his large hands over your body in a soothing pet. From up into your hair to down your sides and even your legs which he messaged a bit since they had worked so hard to keep you up as Vergil had tried to take you while you were still recovering. “Remember my boy, she is not merely a vessel to let out your lust, but a person to be cherished and, when she gives her trust over to you like this, taken care of. Do you understand?”
Vergil is only able to nod in response as he finds himself struggling to stay calm. He did agree with his father completely, but you felt so good, not just wrapped around his member but also in his arms and his heart. But he would listen to Sparda for you, out of respect for his father, and because deep down inside him Vergil wanted to surpass Sparda and his power to pleasure you.
==+==+==
I thought this scenario would be a fun callback to the Nero & Vergil part since Vergil taught his son a lesson on “how to treat a woman”. Here though you can see how different Sparda and Vergil are in the way they teach and their opinions on how you should be pleasured.
Also, last time I tried to avoid references to characters by their relationships, like calling them brothers or father and son, since it makes some people uncomfortable. But this time I completely gave up. I have so many to write and I feel like the familial bonds could make an interesting dynamic. Besides, even when I blatantly point out that there was, in a way, Spardacest in the last one and tried avoiding bringing attention to it, someone still complained so what the fuck ever. Some people are gonna bitch no matter what so I’ll just ignore them and have fun making what I want without restrictions.
Nero & Sparda
It was quite the strange proposition you received from the great Lord Sparda, which is apparently rather normal in demon high society, though there it is not so much a proposition as a forced encounter. Nevertheless, here you were, having both Lord Sparda and his grandson Nero performing a practice bonding ritual on you meant as a way for a demon (or part demon in Nero’s case) to mark their partners. When Sparda had first explained this to you both, he talked of the benefits of a bond. How, even if one was monogamous, this way they could leave their scent on their partner to ward off predator demons. What he did not tell you is how intense it would be.
“That’s it, get as deep as you can.” Sparda encouraged, though it probably did not register for Nero who was bent over you rutting into you like a wild beast. Nero was at your front while Sparda was behind you. Or, to be most specific, you were practically lying on top of Sparda who was holding you in place while also thrusting up into you. The two men were sharing the same whole, stretching you beyond what you have felt before. Thankfully you were given plenty of prep. Still, it was a shock to the senses as Nero’s cock jammed in as far as it could, practically kissing your womb with his tip, while Sparda’s thrusts were more shallow as he aimed for your g-spot. “And then, right at the peak, you need to bite down where her neck and shoulder meet.” Sparda did not intend to do this, but hearing your cries of pleasure, feeling your body against his, and smelling your scent, led him to give a demonstration. He was still conscious enough to not actually create a bonding mark without your consent, but his teeth still bore down on you, leaving a mark of lust as he spilled his seed into the condom he was wearing.
Nero watched intently. He was coated in a sheen of sweat, his eyes were misty, his fangs were out, and his tongue went between lolled out and licking his lips as he looked at you.
“Wanna do it, wanna mark, please.” He begged both you and Sparda. His thrusts got more uneven as he chased his own peak, one that could only be quenched by the demonic tradition of marking and bonding. “Please, please, please.”
“I understand Nero, but we must not pressure her into making that decision in the throws of passion.” Sparda pointed out. With his own lust satisfied, at least for the moment, he let go of your hips and instead wrapped his large hands around your neck. He did not put any pressure on your neck and he let you move and bend freely. He was not restraining you but protecting you, acting as a shield so that wherever Nero did bite, he would not bind you to an unbreakable vow. You can decide if and when that happens when you are a little more sane. Right now Nero was looking down at you like you were a delicious treat and he was starving.
“Yes, need it, need you… forever~”
==+==+==
This didn’t turn out quite the way I intended it to but oh well. Also, I almost switched this to being the Dante & Sparda story but then I switched it back to Nero.
V & Sparda
Tonight was supposed to be your chance to witness the most regal side of society. A ball where everyone was dressed in exuberant gowns and suits, a live orchestra was playing the music, and everything shimmered in the extravagant marble scenery and jewels adorning everything and everyone. However, your dance partners were making it hard to focus.
“You’re losing the tempo my songbird.” Says V in his silky smooth, deep voice as he dips you low. “Though I suppose it is hard to keep a beat when your heart is fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird.” One of V’s hands glides up from your side to your chest so he can feel your heartbeat, but with the squeeze he gave you it was clear what his true goals were. Before you can respond V pulls you upright again and sends you towards your other dance partner who is quick to press up against your back and wrap his arms around you to stop anyone from interrupting the sensual dance between you three.
“I do hope you are not overwhelmed, my dear,” Sparda says, his voice a bit deeper than V’s but with a more gentlemanly cadence to it. Sparda was much taller than you, standing at 7 feet tall, so when he grasped your chin with his gloved hands and made you look at him, your head had to be tilted up and pressed against his chest. “Your face is red and your breathing…” He gently runs his thumb over your lips, making the sensitive skin tingle,  “it is heavy.” His other hand glides down your torso and stops just above your sex, his fingertips just barely brushing over where your clit would be, and he pulls you tighter against him.
“Ah, you must be overheating.” V comments, drawing so close that he is on the cusp between it being appropriate and inappropriately close. “Let us step outside for some fresh, cool night air.”
You are swept away from the crowd of attendees towards a large balcony on the side of the building that does not face any garden or place where people could mill about alone. It faced out into a seemingly endless ocean sparkling in the moonlight. As you walk both men keep their hands on you, one resting on, and slowly groping your bottom while the other flicks at your bra strap over your clothes, as if threatening to undo it. Just before stepping out, Sparda made a motion towards the guards who quickly went to work closing the curtains and lining up at the door so no one could disturb you three.
“There, now we are free from that stuffy, stifling atmosphere.” V’s choice of words and tone indicated that it was not simply the obsessive heat he was glad to get away from.
“And yet our darling still seems a bit dazed,” Sparda says as he, along with V, leads you to the marble railing. Swiftly they turn you to face them, press your backside to the railing, and trap you there by each placing a hand on the railing on either side of you. “I fear it is the weight of your extravagant and voluminous gown that is the cause.”
“I agree. We must strip you of some of your layers songbird. I will start with your bodice.”
“And I with begin with your garters.”
==+==+==
This started with Sparda and V just using their voices, since V had a sexy voice and I like to imagine Sparda as a gentlemanly, slightly British, voice also on the deep side. Then I started to think of what scenario could facilitate this and somehow got to dancing. Then it evolved into this. Fancy boys pretending to be fancy while they do naughty things.
Dante & Nelo Angelo
Things had developed in such a strange way that it was hard to wrap your brain around. One moment Dante and you were preparing to fight the armored being that appeared from the mirror in the castellan's private bedroom. The next you were desperately trying to jog the memory of the man inside that was clearly brainwashed. He still seemed to recognize you though as he had zeroed in on you right away and removed his helmet for you. And when he had suddenly grabbed your side and used his absurd strength to lift you like a doll and force his lips upon you, Dante knew what he had to do to save his brother.
“Come on Vergil, you remember this, right?” Dante said as he held your legs open by locking his own legs atop yours. One of his hands was holding up your top to show your breasts still sitting in your bra while his other hand, having already pulled off your underwear, was stoking and holding open your lower lips. “You’ve been in this pussy before. Remember how warm and tight it was? You used to love it.”
Nelo Angelo, as was his new name, was focused on your core. The way your slick glistened on Dante’s fingers and your body, and how your entrance flexed in nervous anticipation. He strode closer and climbed onto the bed you and Dante were on, his size and weight caused the bed to dip. He knelt there for a moment, then, like his helmet before, another part of his armour disappeared in a flash of flames, causing his cock to spring free. Nelo Angelo was larger than the man you had known before, about 1½ times larger, and that has applied to his manhood which was now as thick as your wrist and as long as your forearm.
“Oh shit.” Dante murmured, though because he was pressed up against your back you could hear his shock loud and clear. “Alright sweetie, you ready to take one for the team?”
The initial penetration was tough, with your body twitching and the wind getting knocked out of you. And when Nelo Angelo started moving the sound of his deep grunts was drowned out by your own voice crying out in pleasure and pain. Dante had to hold you in place while Nelo Angelo lost himself in the familiar feeling of your inner walls clamping down around him. In the meantime, Dante whispered words of encouragement to you and stroked your clit to heighten your own pleasure. And for all this work, you were rewarded with your insides being coated in Nelo Angelo’s hot seed, and a wavering voice calling you by a familiar pet name.
“Darling?”
==+==+==
Your pussy has saved Nelo Angelo, congrats! lol
Vergil & Nelo Angelo
You were sandwiched between two men that, though from different periods of Vergil’s life, were the same man and still similar in most ways. And yet by having them both embracing the person they love the most made one act vastly different. Nelo Angelo treated you in the usual way, thrusting into you with quick precision, using his strength to hold you in place with just enough force to make it sting a little and not speaking as he was confident in his skills to please you, though that last bit was also due to the fact that he could not speak words. Vergil though…
Vergil was treating this like a competition, which in it of itself was not that surprising. The strange part was with how unsure he seemed. Perhaps it was due to being faced with himself at his weakest, or the fact that you, the one person whose opinion he cares most for, are seeing him in the weak state. Whatever the reason, he was acting more desperate. His usually strong grip was instead a gentle embrace, which, when paired with Nelo’s strong thrust, caused both Vergil and you to bounce rhythmically. His usual tight lip, open only to steal kisses and mark you with his teeth, were now split between peppering your face, neck, and chest with kisses, and saying things that were demanding, yet bordering on pathetic due to the tone.
“Darling, look at me,” Vergil said, trying to sound like his usual demanding self but instead sounding like a plea. You barely open your eyes before Nelo Angelo, going off of pure instinct, grabs your chin, forces you to turn your head, and kisses you with a strong, almost suffocating passion. “Darling.” Vergil breathed, barely subduing the tremor in his voice. His own lips dart forward, kissing your cheek then trailing down your jaw, and neck, and finally landing on the middle of your chest where your heart was. His hips also picked up the pace, though they weren’t as strong as Nelo Angelo’s. Between each kiss, Vergil demanded your attention. “Here darling. Look at me. Listen to me. Hear me. Focus on the man who drives you crazy with lust and love, body, mind, and soul. The one that has claimed you. The one you love… right?”
==+==+==
I kind of lost track of what I was doing on this one TBH. Since Vergil has trauma about his time as Nelo Angelo I wanted to utilize that but I did not want to make it too intense. I originally had Vergil break down more to the point of crying, but that seemed out of character.
Nero & Nelo Angelo
Both you and Nero were frazzled but that did not stop Nelo Angelo from picking you both up. Nero instinctually started clawing and cussing but did nothing to impact Nelo Angilo’s mostly armoured body. Nero was dropped down onto the large desk and before he could reorient himself and his new position, his legs were pushed open and you were shoved down on top of him. Now you and Nero were chest to chest, laying on the table, with your legs between his. Nelo Angelo made a grunting sound as his hand, thankfully not covered in armour, grabbed Nero’s semi-hard cock and pulls it out from between you two so he can rub the tip against your still-loose entrance.
“Ya, ya, I get it.” Nero grumbles. He was having a great time but this Nelo Angelo guy was so demanding. “Yo, babe, can you lift your hips real quick?” Nero asks you as he wraps one arm around you, his hand landing on your ass to give it a good few gropes, while his other drifts down between you two. When you do as asked he quickly positions himself so that when you go back down you will take him in. However instead of slowly, teasingly grinding down, Nelo Angelo places his hand on your lower back and shoves down, forcing Nero to impale you in one go. Thankfully you have been stretched beforehand, but that jolt of pleasure and lingering pain still shot through you, making your arms and legs weak. All of your weight falls down on Nero for a moment who uses his now free hand to hold your back. “Jesus christ, you okay?” he asks you despite also having been shot with sensation as you suddenly engulfed his manhood.
Nelo Angelo makes a pleased groaning sound before he grabs Nero’s leg and pulls on them, making it so both you and Nero were hanging off the table below the belt. Your body was properly bent over the table, your torso and face safeguarded from the wooden platform by Nero’s body, with your legs hanging down but not quite touching the floor. Nero was lying face up, his upper body supported by the table while his lower body only held aloft by Nelo Angelo’s grip on his legs. Nelo Angelo steps forward a bit and, without warning, shoved his fingers into your back door to start stretching it.
With Nelo Angelo’s fingers now exploring, stroking, and scissoring open your insides, your body instinctively reacted accordingly. It was like you were his puppet that he could make twist, jerk, raise, lower, and buck with the simplest movements of his fingers. And with each movement made a domino effect to Nero, due to his position and lack of energy after the previous couple rounds, could only hold your body as it moved against and around him. Even his legs were rendered pretty useless to him as Nelo Angelo held them aloft and used them almost like leashes to hold you two in place. It was a very pleasurable break for him, allowing him to gather the energy for when it was his turn next to be on top.
==+==+==
I thought about how a bunch of these focus a lot on the setup and decided I wanted a few more that were PWP.
V & Nelo Angelo
With all the thrashing and grunts of rage Nelo Angelo had been doing when first pinned down by the familiars Shadow and Nightmare, it seemed like he would not accept the next step of the process. Yet the moment you lowered your crotch onto his lips he calmed down. It was as if your warmth and scent had pacified him to an extent. It still took some time to get him to start moving though.
“That’s it songbird, keep going.” V encouraged, giving your hands a squeeze. “Let him taste your nectar. Let your love flow into him and break the chains Mundus has over his heart and mind.” V stood before you, above Nelo Angelo’s head, holding either of your hands. You were palm-to-palm with him as he did his best to keep you steady and focused. However, it was his mind that was drifting from the task at hand. In making sure things were going as intended, V had to look down at where you and Nelo Angelo were connected. Watching the way Nelo Angelo’s lips moulded to your form, how his tongue varied from long strokes to quick flicks, it was tantalizing and stirred jealousy in the pit of his stomach. “Songbird.” V breathed, his words short and vague but his tone spoke of his desires, as did the growing in his pants. With you sitting on Nelo Angelo’s face, you were at the perfect hight.
When witnessing the extent of V’s desire, Nelo Angelo seemed to recognize the spark of excitement and confidence in you. As V rushed to push his pants down enough to free his manhood with one hand, since he refused to fully let go of you, Nelo Angelo’s mouth became more aggressive and his arms lifted and wrap around your legs so he could pull you down harder onto him. The moment your lips touched V’s sensitive skin, a jolt went through him and he let out a low groan.
“That’s it, my love, let me show you love as you do for your poor knight.” With one hand still holding yours, V’s other combed through your hair, pulling you close as a subtle attempt to make you take more of him it. This chain of pleasure continued as such with Nelo Angelo holding you in place no matter how you trembled, cried out, or came.
==+==+==
I’m losing steam and I am not even halfway done 🙃 .
Dante & Credo
“How dare you!” Credo snapped as he glared at you through the bars of solitary confinement. This barely slowed Dante down though.
“Just having some fun,” Dante said, flashing Credo a sly grin before focusing on you again. He gripped your hips a bit tighter and changed his angle so that the next time he thrust into you the slap of skin hitting skin and the squelching of liquids was lewd to an almost obnoxious level just to bother Credo more. Your upper body was bent forward, your hands gripping the cell bars to hold yourself up as Dante showed little mercy.
“Do you two have any shame?” Credo argued, yet he could not look away from the display in front of him. “You are prisoners for attacking His Holiness, this is not some broth- HEY!” Credo was cut off when you reached through the bars, slipped your hand under his uniform coat, and grabbed the belt holding his pants up. Credo grabbed your wrist to stop you, yet did not pry your hand off. You could feel his hand shaking a bit.
Dante let out an impressed whistle. “Feelin’ frisky today, hu baby? Alright, I’ll play along.” Dante, using his impressive height, reached over you and also between the cell bars. He grabs the flap of Credo’s uniform jacket that was covering his crotch and lifts it. He also used that to pull Credo closer, making Credo release your wrist so he could brace himself on the cell bars.
“What is the matter with you both? Cease this at once!” Credo threatened, yet did not truly fight back. There were ways he could break free, he had a weapon and his angelic form. He could easily fight you off enough to get free. Instead, he watched as you undid his belt and pulled down his pants enough to let his semi-hard cock free. The grip he had on the bars tightened to the point that his knuckles turned white and started to burn when your hand stroked his cock, your thumb brushing over the tip to encourage precum to come out. And when you finally took him into your warm mouth he failed to stifle a guttural groan of pleasure.
“That’s it baby.” Dante praised, smirking as if you and he had just won a battle. He let go of Credo, correctly guessing that Credo would no longer pull away now that your tongue was dragging along the underside of his shaft and returned his hands to your hips. Dante started his hip movements again with vigour, spurred on by your muffled moans, gasps, and gagging sounds. Each thrust of Dante’s hips bounced you forward, making you take Credo in deeper.
Credo’s mind was a battlefield between his alliance to The Order of the Sword and the burning pleasure he was feeling. But when he realized that he had unconsciously started bucking his hips forward into your mouth, he knew he had lost. He just prayed that no one would catch him down here like this or find it suspicious when he would return daily to check in on the prisoners.
==+==+==
Credo is honestly the hardest for me to write, so coming up with ideas for him is hard for me. Hopefully, this is okay. I wanted to play with how outgoing Dante is with sex and affection while Credo is less open, or at least that is the assumption since we never see him react to sexual things in DMC4. Maybe in the novel, there is a moment where he is faced with things of sexual nature, but I doubt it.
Vergil & Credo
When you looked down you could see your chest clear as day due to the low cut, loose neckline of the silky dress you had been gifted and ordered to be put on. If you try to adjust it though, your hand will get a sharp whip.
“Hands down.” Came Credo’s order as he used the end of his crop to push your hand down.  “You are to stand straight and hold your head high. Stand your ground with pride and confidence.”
“And if you don’t, you know what will happen.” Added Vergil as he stalked around you in a circle. He was rhythmically smacking his upturned palm hard enough to make a sound that was both tantalizing and threatening. “So raise your head and eyes.” Vergil tucked the tip of his crop under your chin and used it to push your head up. “Focus on your masters. Thank us for our wonderful gift.” He said, referring to the wrap dress you were in that was held together by ribbon. It was silky and cool, a great contrast and soothing element to how heated your skin gets when being struck. But it was also weak, as Credo demonstrates by easily pushing it aside to slide his crop tip in through the part.
“If not, then we may just take it back.” Credo pressed the leathery tip against your lower abdomen, just below your underwear waistband. A clear indication of where you would next be receiving punishment.
==+==+==
I originally had this weird idea of setting this back in time when Vergil visited Fortuna and have this thing where you were dating Credo and Vergil was like a god and gifting you and Credo with the next child of the Sparda bloodline. It was weird and the timeline definitely would not match up and Credo would be Nero’s adoptive/half dad, and it was a mess. Thankfully I switched to this idea where I showcase and utilize the men’s dominating, commanding personalities.
Nero & Credo
Once the anger and adrenalin had faded from their battles and survived Sanctus Diabolica’s crazed destruction for godlike power, only fear remained in Nero and Credo: the fear of you. They knew you would be upset and hurt at the two men you love most in the world nearly killing each other and getting killed by a man with power Credo helped him obtain. And to add salt to the wound, they were both stuck in hospital beds barely able to move. They would recover in time, but for now, they were at the mercy of you. They expected tears, accusations, shouting, or, worst case scenario, a breakup. What they were not expecting was the punishment.
“Fuck, please, you're killing me.” Nero panted, using what little strength and movement ability to desperately jerk his hips up in hopes of penetrating your entrance that you so cruelly pressed and rubbed against the tip of his hard-on. However, due to not having the use of his hands so not being able to properly aim and hold steady as he pushes through your entrance, his cock slip and slides along your skin. “Let me in babe, please.” His pleas were ignored though.
“You’ve done enough, we understand our faults.” Credo tried to reason with you through gritted teeth. He had enough control to not fruitlessly thrust up as he knew you would not let his cock slip betwixt your beautiful lips. You would kiss, lick, and tease his shaft at an agonizingly slow pace until you deemed that they had sufficiently suffered. “Cease this ridiculous tantrum-” With a simple pull, the belt around the base of Credo’s dick stopping him from cuming tightened, silencing him in an instant. His back arched off the bed and the gasp he let out sounded suspiciously like a moan. The torture for him was twofold as he both hated being denied release yet also was further aroused by your harsh treatment.
“God damn it.” Nero cussed as you use your lower body to stroke his cock but did not give him the satisfaction of being pulled into your warmth. “I’m sorry babe, I’m fuckin’ sorry okay? I was stupid and rash. I shot first and asked questions later, that was wrong.” Nero finally broke down.
“Y-yes, I need to apologize.” Credo panted, his face turned away in shame at admitting his wrongdoing and defeat. “I was blinded by my faith, putting everyone in danger and hurting you. I’m sorry.”
There was a suspenseful pause, Credo and Nero’s bodies and minds still buzzing, hoping that by giving in they would be rewarded.
“H-hey, where the hell are you going?” Nero stammered as you pulled away from them.
“You can’t leave us here like this,” Credo argued as you began to walk away, only bothering to throw a blanket over each of them to cover their still sensitive manhoods.
“You can’t just blueball us like this!”
“I order you to come back… HEY!”
Their shouts and then disgruntled grumbles could be heard all through the house, a victory tune of sorts and something that will be burned into Nero and Credo’s minds from now on so they know never to do such a thing to you again.
==+==+==
I was trying a new dynamic/kink with this one. Not sure if I did it well but I’ll get better with more practice.
V & Credo
Credo’s breathing was long and deep to take in enough air despite the bindings around his bare chest, neck, and arms and his eyes glanced up at the statue of the saviour in the opera house. In his mind, he prayed for forgiveness and understanding, but when you gave the order to kneel, his heart and body did so without hesitation.
V, on the other hand, had no shame or hint of doubt. He knelt for you, the being more precious and sacred to him than any deity. The red jute rope you have used to tie up his body, the way it twisted and folded over itself in intricate patterns, how it restrained his movements, the way your hands had glided over his painted body, it was all a sinful bliss that was more pleasurable and beautiful than any work of art he has encountered before.
And then there was you, sitting atop the stage with more rope in your hands. You could wrap a piece around their heads to gag them, tie their thighs to their calves so they couldn’t stand, hell you could use the ropes to suspend them in the air if you so desired. No matter what you chose to do though, the men before you, with faces as red as the ropes that bound them and eyes hazy with lust, would do anything you asked of them. Even if you ask them to stay still as the heel of your shoe presses down on the bulge of their pants.
V lets out a long, deep moan as his eyes fully closed and his back arches. Credo grits his teeth and turns his head away, as if he could mask the pleasure he felt at submitting to you like this. His hips gave away his inner desires though as they lifted up, forcing more pressure between your foot and his prick.
These two are at your mercy, like two followers desperate for their saviour to bless them. However, unlike Sparda, your sinful gifts were actually given and are enough to drive these men wild. Even when the gift came with some pain, as it did now with you grinding your feet down, both men thanked you.
“Oh dear songbird, our mistress.” V moans, his legs twitching like an all too pleased mut while Credo leans forward to kiss your legs as thanks, his teeth occasionally nipping at your clothes as a hint that he wishes to pull them from your delicious skin. “Thank you for this gift. Please, allow us to pay back your kindness. Let us shower you in the pleasure you deserve. Let us worship you.”
==+==+==
Initially, the only idea I had was the general theme of was religious or sacrilegious since Credo is a devout follower of The Order of the Sword and V has a poetic, old-fashioned, intelligent personality. However, I struggled to build an actual scene around that aside from “fuck in religious building”. Then I started thinking about Kinbaku-bi and added some religious themes and I had it. That’s how a lot of these go, I think of a very loose concept or theme based on the personalities of the two characters and then try to create a scene from it.
Dante & Urizen
You were not privy to what Dante had been planning when he told you he had a “sweet idea”, or what his twin brother Vergil had to do with it. The twins spoke, Vergil got mad, Dante laughed, Vergil huffed and gave in, then walked off “to prepare”, or so Dante had told you when he joined you on the couch again. No amount of questions or tricks gets Dante to spill the beans of his plan. He just gives you a toothy grin and tells you to “buckle up for the ride of your life”. This ride ends up being Urizen sitting on a self-made throne in an abandoned building halfway to being taken over by the forest it resides in.
“Come on baby, don’t be scared, he won’t hurt ya. And he already knows the safe words so don’t worry, just have as much fun as you can. He owes me quite a few so have your fill.” Dante shoots you a wink. Urizen lets out a groan that is more like a growl and he rolls his many eyes.
To help you relax and get into the mood, Dante starts by touching and stripping you while Urizen just observes. And when you still instinctually tense up when one of Urizen’s tentacles approaches you, the self-proclaimed demon king switches tracks.
“Woah there, getting impatient Mr. High and Mighty?” Dante teased, a rare blush painting his cheeks as a slick tentacle slid between his lower set of cheeks.
“The Ms. seems frightened of my touch. Once she sees the pleasure it can bring she will relax and enjoy herself more.” Urizen stated with as much enthusiasm as a man giving a presentation at work. But then it takes on a snide, superior tone. “Is that not what you want Dante?” It was a direct jab meant to strongarm Dante into giving in despite Urizen doing this to pay back a debt. A small way for the demon king to assert power.
“You’re not wrong,” Dante admitted, trying to keep up a confident, unbothered demeanour. “Hope you enjoy the show baby girl.”
Dante’s focus stuck to you, but between his kisses and remarks were gasps, hisses, and moans as the tentacles explored. You could feel his body jolt when Urizen first shot him with a spray of lubricant. Then, as he finally entered you, you could see the strain in his expression and how his body tensed as a tentacle also entered him. His thrusts were uneven, but not out of choice. Sometimes Urizen thrust in time with Dante, and other times he would suddenly slam into Dante, forcing him forward and into you. And when Urizen also entered your backend, he pretty much took control of the pace.
“You both fell in line so quickly.” Urizen comments as he looks down at you and Dante, both lying on your sides, surrounded by tentacles that wrap, slither, vibrate, and stroke your naked bodies in the nest of pleasure. Dante, lost in lust due to still fucking you while also being fucked, couldn’t stay still. His lips wouldn’t leave yours, giving you barely the space to breathe with his tongue, partially triggered to be longer, ravaged you. One of his hands was holding the back of your neck in a possessive gesture while his other arm was holding one of your legs up, making it easier for both him and Urizen to thrust into you. “You creatures are slaves to lust.”
==+==+==
This one I started with a vague idea of Dante starting the threesome for fun and also being fucked by tentacles. I began writing and was like “I’ll figure it out as I go”. I then proceeded to create a story progression as wiggling as one of Urizen’s tentacles that has not the best structure. Oh well, hope you like the mental images.
Vergil & Urizen
As your consciousness drifts back to the waking world, you are met with the chatter of many creatures speaking in their own ways yet are somehow communicating. None were speaking to you, not out of malice or disrespect though. They simply did not realize their queen was awake. They were addressing their rulers, one of which you were snuggled up against while he was snug inside you.
“And have you delivered the message to the Fire Hell that their days are numbered if they don’t comply?” Asked Vergil to whatever demon servant was present. His warm breath glided over your hair when he spoke, tickling the nerves ever so slightly. Both his arms were down on the armrests of his thrown as if you being in his lap came as naturally to him as wearing clothes.
To be fair, you spent more time in one of their laps than in your seat. You had your own place, but your husbands both preferred you use them as your thrown, draped in sheer cloth and jewels like a living sculpture that is to be witnessed, marveled, and longed for by all, but not approached as only Urizen and Vergil has the right to touch you.
When your brain processed the limp cock still buried inside of you, your insides unconsciously clench down. The sensation of your inner walls constricting around him made Vergil groan, one hand clenching his armrest while the other snapped up to grasp your already stained and torn clothes.
“Our queen has awakened.” Came Urizen’s gravelly voice, the mere tone being enough to silence everyone else in the room. His head turns towards you, as do most of his eyes. A few keep watching to make sure no one dares approach you. “Leave us.” He makes a sweeping arm motion over the crowd of people who all tense up, sensing the threat in his command. Despite the impending pain if they disregard his orders, all eyes turn to you for the final decision. It isn’t until you give the okay that all your underlings scatter. Within the minute everyone but you and your pair of kings had left. Now alone, Urizen’s stance, tone, and movements became more relaxed and softer. He reached a hand out toward you slowly so as not to startle you and ran his pointed fingers through your hair, smoothing it down and giving a pleasant scratch. He leaned on one arm of his thrown, towering over you and Vergil, though Vergil was not intimidated by him at all. “How are you? Not too overworked I hope.”
“Definitely still tight enough.” Vergil jumps in, his lips twisted up into an all too pleased grin.
“Being shaped to fit your lovers perfectly is quite the feat.” Urizen compliments as his hand drags down your back. One finger curled under you to poke at where Vergil and you were still connected.
“There is still a lack of energy and strength though.” Vergil becomes a bit more serious as he tucks a finger under your chin and lifts your head, only for it to flop down as soon as he lets go. “I little pick-me-up is needed.”
Urizen gives a nod then pulls his hand away. With his hand as a baton, he controls the roots and branches of the Qliphoth tree, which is what makes up your home and most of the furniture in it. From the ceiling descends a branch with but one fruit on it. One is more than enough for you though. In fact you aren’t even fed the whole thing since it is so hard to grow one. Instead, Urizen uses his claw-like fingers to penetrate the apple-like fruit and cut out a chunk. As soon as the skin is broken, a small fountain of liquid, the colour and power of human blood but with a ripe taste, somewhat like both a sweet apple and a peach, comes pouring out. Urizen and Vergil both make sure said liquid splashes onto you.
“Eat my queen,” Urizen says not as an order, but a request, which is a privilege only you are gifted. “you need your strength for the next round.”
Vergil gently lifts your head towards the fruit piece, leaving you to open your mouth and chew at your own pace. Once you start regaining some energy, with you now being able to sit up on your own, Vergil and Urizen’s attentions shift. Vergil leans in and starts licking up the rivets of juice flowing down from your lips and where you had been sprayed. Urizen, using his powers to lift Vergil’s thrown so you could all be at eye level, does the same. Vergil uses his smaller form to clean harder-to-reach places like your neck, face, and ears. Urizen, on the other hand, takes long sweeping licks along your back, chest, stomach, and lower. With the mixture of intimacy and the power gained from the fruit of the Qliphoth tree, your energy not only refilled but began to overflow. All this energy would be needed though as you could feel Vergil’s cock growing stiff inside of you and Urizen’s tongue starting to lap at your sensitive spots despite having already cleaned off the juice from there.
It was going to be another long day for you all.
==+==+==
I wanted to go for a regal, supervillain overlord kind of thing without being too gross about it. Hopefully, that came across. Also, though I can’t actually decide how the reader feels or reacts to things or that would take people out of it, I also tried to at least imply that the reader here willingly chose to be the Queen for these two Kings, not a kidnapping victim or forced marriage or anything like that. I hope that also got across without taking anyone out of the story too much.
Nero & Urizen
Nero had charged in with good intentions, but his blind rage at seeing you at the mercy of the self-proclaimed Demon King had made his fighting sloppy and left him open. Within minutes Nero was in the same predicament as you, held aloft by tentacles that slithered under his clothes. He thrashed and cursed, but he was outmatched in strength and limbs as he was pulled closer to Urizen sat atop his thrown.
Urizen, for his part, had been oddly interested in you, watching you squirm, pant, and moan as his tentacles explored your body. He could feel you through the tentacles, your warmth, your softness, even your scent. It was captivating to him, stirring something within him other than a lust for power that he had never felt in his short existence. When Nero had entered the equation, he saw such a pitiful creature as nothing but a nuisance and distraction, so pined him down just to stop him. The tentacles did the same exploration to Nero purely because Urizen was so focused on feeling and revealing your body that the other tentacles, with no real orders, did the same to their captives. Nero was of no interest to him, that is until you moaned out Nero’s name. Your body, though already sensitive to the tentacles, reacted differently when you bore witness to Nero’s begrudging pleasure.
“You mean something to this woman,” Urizen said, some of his eyes turning to look at Nero, his voice the usual gruff gravitas but with an underlining sense of intrigue and jealousy.
“Fuck you.” Was Nero’s response to this, his breath heavy as he tried to repress the waves of pleasure he received from the tentacles flicking at his nipples and coiling around his painfully hard cock. Urizen did not grace Nero with further words, instead turning his attention back to you and the way your pussy clenched and dripped not just from the tentacle massaging your clit but from watching Nero’s penis be stroked and his chiseled chest being revealed as a tentacle ripped the fabric of his shirt open. This rush in you… it was beautiful to Urizen. It ignited feelings and sensations in Urizen that he could not understand yet but knew that he needed more.
The tentacles brought you and Nero closer together and worked to find what ways they could touch you to heighten the desire between you two. The experimentation grew more intense and brought you closer together until the preverbal pieces fit together.
“The hell do you think you're doing jackass?” Nero asked as you were twisted into a horizontal position and your legs were pulled open. When Nero was brought closer, nestled between your legs, realization hinted Nero. “No, fuck off, what is wrong with you!?” Nero cursed, thrashed, and fought harder than before, but was ignored by Urizen who was wholly focused on how your body reacted to Nero’s body being put between your legs. The tentacle coiled around Nero’s cock pulled away but stayed close enough to aim the prick towards your core. There was no stopping what was about to happen. “I’m sorry,” Nero said in a mix of a moan and a whimper. He felt he had to, not only for what was about to happen, but also because of how excited he was for it, how much he wanted you from the moment he stepped into the room and saw you being pleasured. His jealous anger was going to be satisfied, and he hated how quickly he gave in.
==+==+==
Just like the Nero & Vergil part last time, the base idea of being forced to fuck by a giant has been in my brain for years. Now I get to use it. Thank you Nero for letting me get all these weird thoughts out of my head, lol.
V & Urizen
“It’s alright my love.” V coos affectionately as he stroked your hair and held your head to his chest. “There is no need to panic, you know I would never let anything harm you. Thrashing around like that will only make things harder on you. So just relax and let it happen.” He grabs one of your legs and gently moves it to spread your legs, giving more room for the tentacles to move, prod, and release onto your core.
“You are far too tight,” Urizen said trying to sound intimidating though it teetered on sounding like a disgruntled grumble, which was more accurate to what he was feeling. He could feel through the tentacles. It was as if his own finger was sliding betwixt your folds, spreading the lubricant both he and you were creating around, and gently pressing against your entrance, desperate to be let in. “Is this not enough slick? Do you require more?” Suddenly the tentacle pulled back and released a large spray of slickness that covered not just your core, but also splashed onto your stomach, chest, and onto V as well. At least it smelled sweet, like fruit.
“So impatient.” V chuckled as he whipped off the slick that had hit him with his long, thin fingers. “My apologies love, my other half did not inherit any of my grace or understanding of anticipation.” V lifted his fingers to your mouth, motioning for you to lick him clean. The slick also tasted of fruits and had a healing and energizing quality to it. Clearly V wanted you to keep up your energy for the long haul. As you accepted his offering, he looked up at Urizen. “Our precious darling is used to the manhood of us when we are one. This is a new experience for them and it will take a lot of gentle coaxing.” Once you finish cleaning off his fingers, V uses his hand to grab one of yours and bring it to his cock, making you wrap your fingers around the already hard shaft and start stroking. “Just take things slow my dear and focus on me.”
For a while you did, getting into a rhythmic pattern. Sadly it was harshly shattered when one of Urizen’s tentacles slammed into you, forcing itself through your now-relaxed muscles before they could clench up again. Urizen had gotten impatient, and honestly rather jealous of his other half, so took matters into his own hands. Thankfully the penetration did not hurt all that much and was more so shocking. Still, V shot Urizen a glare.
“Clearly you lack the ability to listen as well.” V held you a little closer to his chest as if he would shield you from the feeling of the tentacle twisting, sliding, and exploring your insides like a snake looking for a place to borrow.
“Silence,” Urizen spoke in defiance, a somewhat satisfied smile coming to his lips as he watched your reaction and felt your moist heat wrapped tightly around him through the tentacle. “They are fine. Besides, going so slow and delicate will never prepare her for the real test.” Urizen sat back a bit and started stroking his own cock which was the size of your whole arm.
“Alright.” V sighed, his free hand moving down to stroke your stomach soothingly. “I suppose he is right my love. I apologize for the rough treatment. Although, we did warn you when you requested to have all of Vergil, the good, the bad, the romantic, the animalistic, the rough, and the gentle.”
==+==+==
I wrote this instead of going to sleep on time for work the next day. I make good, healthy decisions.
Urizen & Nelo Angelo
The impact of Nelo Angelo being thrown to the ground shook the room along with your eardrums due to the thud and shout of pain from the fallen dark knight.
“Is this truly what you crave?” Urizen asked with unprecedented rage. The sight of him at his weakest is an insult as is, but to see your desire to help this insignificant weakling has set him spiralling. “You wish to waste your time saving this pathetic creature? Fine then, prove for yourself how inferior it is.” You, being held in Urizen’s hand, were shoved down onto Nelo Angelo.
Thankfully Urizen had already forcefully ripped most of Nelo Angelo’s armour off so you weren’t pressing your chest against hot demonic metal. On the other hand, Nelo Angelo had spent so long in the armour that feeling your skin on his cold, pale skin sent a jolt through him. He took in a heavy gasp that turned into a moan as the breath was released. Feeling anyone was more intimate than he had felt in a decade, but the fact that it was you was enough to get him hard.
You had been told by V, who was the one that suddenly appeared with Nelo Angelo in tow, that making love to him would bring him back to his senses. Urizen had caught you at the beginning of this process and his reaction was visceral. Still, the chance of saving Nelo Angelo was there and it wasn’t like Urizen was going to let you two go, so the process continued.
Nelo Angelo, battered, bruised, and confused, struggled to participate in the lovemaking, but at least he reciprocated. When you kissed him he kissed back. When you wrapped your arms around him as best you could, his arms would snake around you as well. And once you two have joined and your hips start rolling, Nelo Angelo moves in the same rhythm so his cock can be buried as deep inside you as possible. This, however, ends up being both your undoing.
Urizen watches as you two grow closer, more intimate, and it infuriates him further. Suddenly, just as you were about you reach your peak, Urizen’s fingers wrap around your body and rips you away from Nelo Angelo.
“Your essence will not to be wasted on scum like that.” Urizen uses his other hand to press one of his fingers against your needy hole desperate to be filled back up. One of Urizen’s fingers, though thinner than Nelo Angelo’s hardened cock, greedily took the job. He did not give you time to adjust to the change in size and shape though as his finger fucked you quickly and roughly. “You are not to waste your body on trash like that. You belong to someone superior. You belong to me.” Urizen growled.
And as you are practically dragged to the peak of ecstasy, you look down at Nelo Angelo still splayed out on the floor, his cock hard and but a sliver of recognition in his eyes that was fading without your embrace.
==+==+==
I was going for a mean, sad, angry sex kind of feeling which I think I did get across, but does that make it not sexy anymore? I’m kind of just sad now.
Nelo Angelo & Credo
Credo knew of Nelo Angelo before he appeared on the island, having been subject to Agnus’ rantings and raving, so was prepared to test his combat skills with him. But fate had a different idea. Nelo Angelo had no interest in fighting, only throwing aside any creature or thing that got in his way as he marched towards his goal, the one thing his heart and broken mind were still clinging to, you. The Order of the Sword, seeing this as an opportunity to gain more knowledge and power, used you as bait and trapped you in a room with Nelo Angelo with a wall made of glass so your interaction could be observed. The one saving grace you were given, if only to make sure you survive long enough for data to be collected, was Credo. Unbeknownst to everyone but yourself, you were now trapped in a room with your past and current loves, both feeding off of each other’s aggression and desire to dominate and win you over.
“You damned demon, you’re hurting her!” Credo said, his voice distorted from being in his angelic form, as he used his shield arm to force a wedge between you and Nelo Angelo.
The sudden intrusion caused Nelo Angelo to halt his movements and release your legs from the spread eagle he had put you in. His cock slid out of you, but with how long you have been ravaged your core did not tighten and close right away. It stayed open a bit, framed by red, raw skin from Nelo Angelo’s armour, leaving it so very empty and sore. This was something Credo could not bear to see.
Without a word, Credo replaced Nelo Angelo in front of you and between your legs like it was his right and duty to care for you. It was not aftercare he provided though. Instead, his own manhood, lengthened and hardened more than usual due to his angelic form, filled up your empty hole. Though his penis was harder than Nelo Angelo’s, the rest of him was softer. The feathers surrounding his thighs and lining either side of his crotch were silky and pillowy, providing relief like a cool water-soaked cloth on the forehead. The forced spread eagle Nelo Angelo had put you in was also dropped, letting your muscles relax as they were made to encircle Credo’s feather-covered waist. Credo’s movements were slow and precise, trained to please you in the perfect way without overexerting you. It was a break from Nelo Angelo’s rougher treatment, though it did not last forever.
Soon Nelo Angelo became impatient. He grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you to lay down on your back over the table in the room, your head hanging upside-down off it. You get a glimpse of the glass wall where The Order of the Sword’s scientists are watching the scene unfold before Nelo Angelo blocks your view, his arousal hanging in front of your mouth waiting to be let in.
As you are about to be taken at both ends, an uncertainty hangs in the air. How long will this testing go on for?
==+==+==
I had an initial idea but then I thought about a fanfiction I read on Tumblr where the reader and Leon Kennedy, infected with the Las Plagas, are put in a room to be studied as Leon ravages reader and tries to impregnate her. I forgot who wrote it and I can’t find it! :< But if I find it again or if someone recognizes it and can send it to me, I will link it here. I really liked that story and decided that that kind of scenario would fit best with Credo and Nelo Angelo so I switched it. I’ll use the original idea for a different pair.
Credo & Urizen
Urizen is sitting on his throne. In front of him stood Credo in his angelic form. Credo’s legs shook and his hands flexed, itching to pounce on you. You were kneeling on the floor panting and shaking, drenched in the slick from Urizen’s tentacles. The substance soaked into the shreds that were once your clothes, making them somewhat transparent and cling to your dirty skin, but thankfully smelt pleasant to you. To Credo though, along with your own scent, was a pheromone, an intense aphrodisiac that was infecting his mind and body, demanding him to step closer.
“Go my general,” Urizen urges, though with his natural voice, it sounds like an order. “Look into the eyes of the person whom you have desired for so long but contradictory human beliefs told you you could not have and unleash onto them all of the lust they have caused in you.” This was a gift, or so Urizen claimed. In reality, this was more of a bribe. Urizen had heard tales of how exceptional Credo, captain of the Holly Knights, was and strived to recruit him to his army. It had been a challenge though as Credo had clung to the idea that he was a righteous angel. What luck though that the person that Urizen had already intended to take as his own also happened to be Credo’s weakness. “Let the desire flow through you and revel in the power you now hold.”
Credo hesitated, transfixed by the way the tentacles continued to pour the liquid onto you, a waterfall of slickness that made it impossible for your hair to stay in one place but kept you on the floor in a puddle so slippery that you had no friction to stand or crawl. Urizen guides him forward using his tendrils all while continuing to encourage him to make use of this opportunity, to assert his dominance, and to relieve himself of the bottled-up desire. You look up at him, perhaps pleading for more or glaring up at him, calling him the monster you always thought he was. No matter what, all three of you… you know that no matter what you do or say, Urizen will not be letting you leave, even after you pass out from pleasure.
When Credo does finally give in, stepping forward and enacting the countless scenarios he has imagined of you while living in Fortuna, Urizen will praise him, feeling satisfied in, as he believes, how this moment has grown the bond between you all and brought you closer to accepting your role as the future queen of the demons and humans.
==+==+==
Hmm… I’m not sure about this one. I like it, but it also seems messy…
Urizen & Sparda
You have been hand-chosen by the rulers of both the underworld and the human world to aid them in a mission of the utmost importance. You were found by Lord Sparda, the man who took down the old king of the underworld, Mundus. Sparda took you to Urizen, the demon that started conquering the human world and who Sparda made truths with rather than an enemy. Both these creatures had agreed that you were perfect to carry out this critical mission. You are to be the vessel for which their heirs would be born.
“To think,” Came Urizen’s thunderous, rumbling voice as he gazed down at you cradled in his tentacles. His breath was still heavy, though, for pride's sake, he tried to hide how heart-pounding the moment had been for him. “that seeing you like this, swollen with my seed, would be so satisfying and beautiful.” He reached out a finger and gently caressed your abdomen which was now enlarged due to the egg nestled inside you.
“Well done my friend,” Sparda said both as a compliment and to gain Urizen’s attention. “Now it is my turn.” There was a bit of impatience in his tone. Urizen hesitated for a moment, reluctant to let you go so soon after, but he had made a deal. Plus, Sparda’s hunger was starting to transcend into dominating anger. You were lowered down into Sparda’s awaiting arms who cradled you to his chest in the bridal position. “There you are, my dear.” Sparda’s voice was affectionate and still held a regal edge to it. He carried you towards a platform made of soft leaves and flowers which Sparda had requested be made for this event. “You have been doing so well for us, accepting Urizen’s seed. And now…” You are laid down on the plush, natural bed and Sparda quickly slots himself between your legs. He had a fire in his eyes and his body was tense with anticipation as he reached down and started undoing his belt. “It is time for me to fertilize you.”
==+==+==
Surprisingly enough, coming up with the base idea for this was not that hard, it popped into my head really fast. What I struggled with was deciding who would give you the egg and who would fertilize it since Sparda is a demon with bug features, which lays eggs for the most part. However, he also has other animal parts like hooves and an upside-down fish mouth. Urizen has tree features. Trees do make goopy sticky things, but they reproduce with seeds, which is another form of egg. Thankfully my editor helped me choose and when I apologized for asking them weird questions about my weird stories they said “Not weird, imaginative.”. Ahhh, I love them so much!
Sparda & Credo
All you could see right now was Credo staring at you as you did both the most worshipful and sinful thing imaginable. You were a lady of the church and you had been left to start a task while Credo momentarily stepped out to grab something. However, with the express knowledge that he would soon be returning, your devotion to Sparda was being rewarded by the saviour himself. And Credo was able to fully bear witness to this giving of the gift as Sparda had a hold on your thighs, holding them open and using them as leverage to lift and lower you onto his cock. A cock, which needs to be said, was buried in your ass. Sparda’s pace was rather fast, but when he noticed Credo, he slowed to address the captain.
“Come, kneel before me,” Sparda ordered. His lips curled up into a pleased smile when Credo did as told with little hesitation. “Good. Now aid me in my mission.” Sparda pulls open your legs a bit wider to draw Credo’s attention to your currently dripping cunt which glistened with unused slick. “Let go of formalities, put aside inhibition, and embrace the natural desire within you.”
“Yes, my lord.”
The task was left purposely vague, allowing Credo to proceed as he wished. And what he wished was to taste the sweet nectar unjustly being neglected. Credo moved forward, keeping his hands on his thighs to keep his posture more polite and structured, and brought his face closer to your core. “Thank you for this gift,” he breathed just before his tongue stretched out so the tip could drag along your skin. From your lips to your inner thighs, and even down to your perineum. It was as if he was teasing himself, holding back to make the final dive between your folds all the sweeter.
“Look, my dearest,” Sparda said, his soft tone making it an encouragement rather than an order. Though his solid thrusts up into you muddled your perception of the intensity. He pressed his head up against the side of yours, nuzzling you in an affectionate, almost animalistic way. “See how he adores you. Feel what it is like to be worshiped, as you deserve.”
==+==+==
I am quickly realizing that I keep putting Credo in a similar submissive position of doing as ordered. It fits his character since he followed The Order of the Sword and Sanctus way past where a reasonable person would. And for Sparda, he does not really have a set-in-stone personality, so I just keep messing with it, lol.
Nelo Angelo & Sparda
You are surrounded by lush, silky fabrics and cushions. Your body is sunk into the bed the perfect amount and the countless pillows cushioning and circling your head is like a nest of comfort and luxury. The room is quiet, the gentle light of the morning casting through the windows but not directly on you. The distant, gentle sound of the fountain outside and birds singing can barely be heard along with the soft breaths and mouth sounds of the men showering you with affection. Nelo Angelo, free from his armour so you can see his pale skin and striking blue veins, is to your right pressing featherlight kisses along your chest while one of his hands caresses the opposite side of your chest and your side. His eyes stay closed for the most part as he focuses on bringing you soft, calm pleasure. They rarely flutter open so you can see his red orbs. Sparda lay between your legs peppering kisses along them, paying special attention to your inner thighs. His eyes remain focused on you, watching the way your body flexes and twitches in response to their combined touch and gauging your emotions to make sure you are enjoying yourself and changing tactics if you aren’t.
Everything is so soft, gentle, quiet, and smooth… it is almost enough to make you forget that you had been plucked from your normal life and locked up in the tower of the rulers of the underworld’s castle like a princess from a fairytale.
“Don’t be afraid my dear,” Sparda whispers as his kisses draw closer and closer to your sex. “Let us wash away all your concerns, fears, and responsibilities.”
Nelo Angelo shifts closer, laying lengthwise beside you so you can feel most of his body and how much bigger he is than you.
“We can do everything for you and give you anything you desire. We can drown you in luxury and passion, let you be free from any work and just enjoy the pleasures of life. All you have to do is agree to be our queen.”
==+==+==
I also wrote this one while slowly falling asleep. I had a good nap though. This is based off of this vague memory I have which I am 60% sure I imagined of the protagonist of a female-oriented show getting kidnapped by a bad guy that loved them. They chained her to the bed and tried to convince her to join him, but no NSFW stuff happened. My head tells me it was from Sailor Moon but my head also says I made that shit up. IDK, maybe someone else remembers it too.
Kat & Reboot Dante
“Are you sure about this?” Kat asked as she moved above Dante’s head. You were already impaled on his cock so Kat was the only one not yet in place.
“Fuck ya.” Dante practically panted as he looked up at Kat’s glistening cunt like a hungry dog waiting for its next meal. “Come on Kat, put all your weight on me, you know I can take it. I wanna drown in you.” One of his hands left your rolling hips to grab the space between Kat’s leg and torso, then pulled on her to encourage her to take the final plunge.
With a gulp and a deep breath, Kat lowers herself and instantly jolts when Dante’s tongue darts out to meet her. With you and her facing each other, you could see how tense her body was and how she instinctually tried to jerk away from Dante’s mouth who was not going easy on her. Her face was bright red and her eyes closed, a sign that she was still embarrassed as this was her first time being intimate with you both. As if begging for comfort, she lifted her shaky arms out to you. As you embrace, her arms wrap around your neck and she pulls you in for gentle kisses, a contrast to how intense Dante was moving beneath you both. His aggressive motions made both of you bounce, you a fair bit and her a little but she matched your movements, her chest jiggled as it pressed against yours, and even through the soft mounds, you could still feel how hard and fast her heart was pumping. You were her rock while Dante was her wave.
As for Dante? Well, he was in heaven. He had two of the smokin’ hottest people he had ever seen smothering him. In this position he had the perfect concoction of being in control and submissive, and of being the center of attention and voyeuristic viewing, or listening in his case. Kat’s and your primary pleasure was coming from him, his cock and tongue. The way you and Kat bounced and grinded against him gave him that masculine pride based in sexual prowess. He could manipulate you both, making you both stutter in your movements and let out sharp gasps and moans by suddenly slamming up into you or taking Kat’s clit between his lips and sucking harshly. At the same time, he is under you both, making his movements limited. He could move his mouth and buck his hips a bit, but if you two really wanted to you could put all your weight on him, stopping his movements, or pull away from him, leaving him needy and cold. You both were largely relying on him, yet he knew you two were satisfying each other. If he slowed his movements he could listen to the sloppy sounds of lips and tongues moving against each other desperately. He could feel from where your weight lay who was leaning in. Though it was a little frustrating that he did not actually get to see Kat groping your chest or you sucking on her tit. But he was stuck like this, unable to escape this pleasure. That was more of a blessing than a curse though, especially when you and Kat come undone on top of him for the first time, soaking his body and mind completely.
==+==+==
I did not mean to write so introspectively but here you go.
Kat & Reboot Vergil
“Don’t look so worried Kat.” Vergil said gently, reaching out his right hand to stroke her head, ending with holding the back of her head to keep her still as he leans into to kiss her temple. “I’ll take care of you.” He promises, kissing her cheek and then her lips all while his left arm was wrapped around your waist, holding you against his side. Seeing as you were all naked, every touch was skin-to-skin. And with his head turned towards Kat you had free reign to kiss and touch him if you wished. “I’ll take care of both of you.” He breathed as his lips parted from hers. He then turned to you, giving you the same treatment. “Lay down on the bed for me in whatever position is comfortable for you both.”
You and Kat climb up onto the bed and she naturally gravitates towards you, unintentionally forcing you to lay on your back so she could rest her head on your shoulder. Your warmth, your heartbeat, the way you stroked her head and shoulders, it was all comforting to her in this new experience. It was a new experience for all of you, but Vergil acted confident, like he had done this countless times before. In reality, he got off on being in control. You and Kat were at his mercy, lying down and looking up at him expectantly.
“Are you sure this is what we should do?” With each of Kat’s words, because she was pressed against you so snuggly, you could feel her breath fan over your skin. “Shouldn’t we do something?” Kat was still not used to being taken care of, even if you have all been in this relationship for a while now. It’s sadly just not the kind of life she has been subject to. This though… this was more.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Vergil verified with a soft chuckle. “Just relax and enjoy yourselves. You both know the safe words.” And so, Vergil began, gently guiding your and Kat’s legs apart. He takes the time to retrieve the bottle of lube from the side table and coat his fingers so as not to cause either of you pain. Then he gently and lovingly started to open you both up, scissoring your respective holes with either hand. He watched your body language carefully to be sure you both were enjoying his touch, even using the extra mental focus to move his hand differently to satisfy you both.
Kat was very vocal, moaning, mewling, sighing, and squealing as her body twisted and twitched in reaction to Vergil’s menstruations. Suddenly her noises stopped and she shifted. She lifted onto her arms and turned to look down at you. Her face was red in embarrassment but her eyes shone with love and longing.
“Can I… kiss you?”
==+==+==
A lot of these stories are rough and intense, but for this one I wanted it to be gentle and sweet. Kat has been through some shit, a real cinnamonroll, and I just want her to be happy and treated nicely.
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rollinouttahere-writes · 1 year ago
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Wait; I don’t remember much about some arcs, but the foxy the pirate arc was fun; if you’re willing to do anything with this it would be much appreciated!❤️
It’s about on child lucky/reader during the foxy the pirates where they take the reader during one of the games, trying to win her back. Since she’s a child and has no idea what’s going on, she starts crying and stuff, but once they win her back that she’s so clingy and won’t let go of them to the point where she just holds onto on their legs when they win her back and if they lose again; she starts fighting tooth and nails to not let go.
Or something else. I just want to read more child lucky stuff if you have any! Thank you for reading, have a good day author!
I keep telling myself that I’m not going to spoil Lucky Break… but y’all keep giving me these plot bunnies and I keep caving instantly
When I wrote Get Back Here! I’d only imagined the deaging to be temporary, but now this ask has me thinking about it being permanent and now Lucky has been factory reset into a four year old. It’s a very interesting dynamic to think about. I’m gonna have to write about this some more… I’m hereby calling this the Little Lucky AU
I’ve written something like this about the Foxy Pirates before actually! It was just a short drabble, here, but it’s got a similar vibe. The davy back fights do not mesh well with yanderes, and considering that normal, regular-ass Zoro suggested just killing them and leaving in the anime, I think I underplayed how dangerous yandere Zoro would be tbh
Ok so into the spoilers for Lucky Break. They would not get Lucky at all. Period. Why? Because they couldn’t have come in at a worse point in the story. Don’t get me wrong, the Straw Hats wouldn’t take it well at any point, but by this point in Lucky Break they are unhinged. Skypeia is a really bad time for Lucky, and it really messes with adult Lucky so child Lucky is going to be severely traumatized by it. Enel winds up being the tipping point for the Straw Hats going from low-key yandere to full on yandere. Everything post Skypeia takes on a darker tone to match it and the yandere elements of the story go from subtle to very intense.
By the time they get to Long Ring Long Land, Lucky is looking like she got thrown down a flight of stairs, electrocuted, and strangled. This is concerning to see on an adult, and is horrifying to see on a literal preschooler. The Foxy pirates aren’t even really being malicious when they try to take her, they’re genuinely concerned (and also suffering under the effects of Lucky’s amulet which becomes much more potent post Skypeia). They have a team meeting beforehand and are all like “so we’re gonna take the baby and leave the rest of them behind, right?” and no one disagrees.
But needless to say, all of the Straw Hats are on edge and fucking feral so this concern is not taken well. This was supposed to be a drabble, but as per usual I have no self control and wrote a whole ass chapter basically.
3.9k words
Resisting the urge to pick at your scabs was hard on a good day, but when you were feeling sick to your stomach with nerves, it felt impossible not to do. Not wanting to make Chopper upset, you move your hands to grasp at the brim of Luffy’s hat. Partially to keep your hand busy, and partially to keep it from falling over your eyes again.
You guess it made sense that they wouldn’t let you participate, but that didn’t make having to be separated from your friends any less nerve wracking. Luffy had tried to bring you onto his boat regardless, only relenting when Nami bitterly admitted that they had a point and you would be safer on land. 
Terrified at the idea of being alone, you immediately began to tear up and protest, but Luffy made a compromise with you. Since the race was going to be so dangerous, he needed someone to look after his hat and keep it safe. So, if you could be brave about being by yourself for a little while, he would entrust this task to you. Part of you still wasn’t happy about this, but you didn’t want to let Luffy down, so you put on a brave face and accepted. 
Now you were left to sit on the cliffside overlooking the start of the race, waiting for it to begin so it could be over already. At least not everyone else will be in the games after this. From your perch, you could see your friends frantically scanning through the crowd. Oh, they were probably looking for you.
Standing up, you maintained your hold on Luffy’s treasure with one hand and waved to them with the other. Sanji was the first to spot you and pointed you out to everyone else. They all swiveled their heads in your direction, and the relief on their faces was palpable. Everyone waved back at you, and Luffy stood up, rather shakily on his raft, to call out to you, “Don’t worry, Lucky! We’ll win this no problem!”
There were some chuckles coming from the audience, and the weird looking announcer guy felt the need to comment on this, “Oh! What’s this? The Straw Hat’s captain thinks they’ll win this no problem? A bold claim to make from someone who has never seen the might of! The! Foxy! Piiiiraaates!”
You winced at the sheer volume and noise of feedback, not able to resist the urge to cover your ears. Luffy’s hat fell over your eyes, blocking out the view but doing nothing to block out the noise. You already didn’t feel good, and that was not helped by the roar of applause and cheers coming from the crowd. 
The breath lodged in your throat. The onslaught of noise felt like it was coming at you from all angles, melding together and ultimately amping up into an obnoxious ringing in your ears. Your knees buckled, making you fall onto your behind as you struggled to force yourself to remember how to breathe.
It’s too much! It’s way too much! It’s-
“Hey!” Two familiar hands fell onto your shoulders, snapping you out of the downwards spiral you were falling victim to. One of the hands moves to lift the brim of the hat just enough for you to make eye contact with your best friend. He smiled, and just seeing it was enough to soothe you a little, “It’s going to be okay! Don’t listen to them, we’ve got this!”
“Y-Yeah, of course you do,” you choked out.
Luffy brought you in for a quick but tight hug, smushing your face into his red shirt, “That’s it! We’ll be back before you know it!”
“Luffy! If you’re not in your boat by the start of the race you will be disqualified!” The announcer shouted, causing you to flinch again.
His grip on you tightened, and while you couldn’t see it, you just knew that he was scowling. His neck snapped towards the announcer furiously, “I will be! Stop being so loud about it!” Gently, Luffy pulled you away from him, offering another smile. His voice was quieter than usual, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll beat them and be out of here before you know it.” 
With a quick pat to your head, he rocketed himself back to his raft, nearly flipping it over in the process. While the exchange had eased your fears a little, there was still an overhanging discomfort about the situation. What would happen if they didn’t win? Who would those other pirates take? You shook your head. No. You’re not gonna think about it! Luffy will win, you just know it.
The distinct sound of grass crunching beneath feet made your shoulders tense up. Hesitantly, you turned to identify who was coming up behind you. It was two people. One of them was the captain, you think Luffy said his name was Split-Head? Yeah that sounds right. The other one was some big monkey-looking guy. You’re pretty sure his name was Hamburger, a funny name but who are you to judge?
Split-Head grinned at you, but it was not providing the warmth and comfort that Luffy’s gave you. It reminded you of a sleazy salesman that your mother yelled at in the mall one time for being too pushy. Maybe he’ll go away if you ignore him? You hope so.
“Why hello there, young lady! Your captain didn’t include your name on the roster, can you tell me it?” Split-Head was now crouched down next to you, much too close for comfort.
You kept your head down and shrugged, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
This didn’t deter him in the slightest, “Aww, come on! You won’t make friends that way, kid. You can trust me! I’m captain Foxy of the Foxy pirates!” From your peripherals you could see him puffing out his chest in pride. His name is Foxy? Split-Head is more fitting in your humble opinion. He must think really high of himself. “There, now I’m not a stranger!”
It seems like this guy isn’t going away any time soon. You dug your heels into the dirt anxiously, wishing he would leave you alone. “Yeah, well… you’re still strange,” you mumbled.
Split-Head-Foxy let out an offended gasp, then fell to his knees with a gloomy aura looming over him. Wow. He’s pushy, full of himself, weird, AND dramatic. You rolled your eyes and took a decisive step away from him, looking out at the ocean as the race finally started. 
It was then that it dawned on you that this race went around the whole island, meaning that you’re going to have to run to try and keep up. Emphasis on the try. Without a word to the two pirates bothering you, you ran after your friends’ boats. Both of your hands were tightly grasping the hat on your head to prevent it from flying off. Sure, there was a string attached to it around your neck, but you didn’t want to risk it.
Immediately, it became obvious that you were not going to be able to keep up. Even if you were at your best, you wouldn’t be fast enough. But with how injured you were, everything was sore and the pain of your muscles pulling on your scabs made your run more like a trot. The Straw Hats’ boats were getting farther and farther away, and you could feel frustrated tears prickling at your eyes.
There was the sound of… galloping? Yeah, galloping behind you. Pretty soon, Foxy pulled up next to you riding Hamburger like a horse. Man, this guy just keeps getting weirder.
“Looks like you need a ride there, kid. Why don’t you hop on so we can watch this race together, hm?” Foxy held out his hand to you, smiling smugly. Memories of your preschool teacher telling the class to never get in a stranger’s car came to mind. A monkey man isn’t exactly a car, but you think the same idea applies here.
You shook your head vigorously, “No, I don’t wanna go with you.”
Foxy’s smile fell, and his hand drooped. He plastered it back on his face after a moment, “Kid, you’re not going to be able to keep up, just come with me. I’ve got some candy! I’ll give you some if you hop on!”
A stranger offering you candy to get in their vehicle was another thing your teacher warned you about. Yeah, this was definitely a bad guy you shouldn’t talk to. You doubled your effort to run a little faster to put some distance between you and them, “No! Leave me alone!”
They sped up, closing the gap in seconds. Instead of saying anything, Hamburger simply reached out and plucked you right off your feet then dropped you onto Foxy. Naturally, you started thrashing and screaming, “Let go of me! Put me down! Stranger danger!��
Hamburger laughed at your terror, “What a feisty child.”
“Quit laughing Hamburg, she’s kicking up a storm,” he was frantically trying to get a good hold on you. “Calm down! We’re not going to hurt you, we’re help- OW!” You managed to land a good kick to his face. Despite that, he was able to hold onto you. He spun you so that you were facing away from him.
His hand grabbed your face and turned it to gaze out at the ocean, “Look! We’re caught up now!”
True to his word, you could see the contestants. Your face scrunched up in confusion, not seeing Luffy and Sanji’s boat anywhere. Or Zoro and Chopper’s. Were they that far ahead? Yeah, that was definitely it, had to be. You could still see Usopp, Nami, and Robin at least. Seeing them made you feel a little calmer.
“See? We were just trying to help you out,” his smug grin was back. “Now how about you tell me your name?”
As much as you didn’t want to, he probably wouldn’t shut up about it until you did, “It’s Lucky.”
“Lucky? Is that supposed to be a nickname or something?” “It’s my name! You asked and I told you, stop bugging me about it,” you grumbled. You want to get down, but you get the feeling they wouldn’t let you do that. At least you get to follow the race now.
Foxy fished around in his pocket and pulled out some brightly colored objects, “Here, I bet you want some candy, don’t you?”
It’s bad enough that you’re riding with him, you’re not gonna take any candy from this weirdo, “No thank you, I don’t want any.”
He sighed and stuffed it back in his pocket. You hoped this would be the end of his chattering. Unfortunately, it didn’t appear that luck was on your side today. Or this week, really. Foxy held out your arm, scrutinizing all the scabbed over burns on it, “How did this happen, Lucky?”
“It’s none of your business, I don’t wanna talk about it mister,” you huffed. You didn’t want to even think about that ever again. About him. About how cold and uncaring his eyes were. About how much it hurt. Your shoulders started to shake and your lip trembled.
“Whoa, hey it’s okay! You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to!” Foxy brought you in for a hug, but you really didn’t want it. You squirmed and tried to get away from him, but he wasn’t letting you.
“What’s this?! The last remaining Straw Hat boat has broken into first place with incredible speed!” The announcer shouted.
Wait. Last remaining?! How was there only one boat left?! You looked out to see Usopp, Nami, and Robin barreling towards the finish line. They were going to win! They needed to if they were the only ones left.
Foxy cursed under his breath, “Hamburg, you need to hurry to the end goal!”
Hamburger only nodded and sped up. You were kinda impressed by how fast he was able to go. Despite being pestered by these two so much, you were smiling and kicking your feet in excitement. They were going to win this race! And then they would win the other two races, too!”
A little ways before the finish line, Hamburg came to a halt, and Foxy hopped off. You took the opportunity to scramble off him, too. You rushed to the cliff and called out, “You can do it! You’re gonna win!” If they heard you, they didn’t react.
“I wouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch, Lucky,” Foxy stated ominously. He held out his hands and made some weird shapes with them, like he was trying to make shadow puppets. All you could do was eye him curiously, trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. You don’t have any chickens, why is he talking about counting them? Weird. 
His fingers were pointed right at your friends and then he said something about a slow-slow beam. Your friends, who were previously rocketing towards the finish, abruptly slowed down to a crawl, seemingly unable to move. Your jaw dropped as the other boat with the pointy nosed girl on it took the lead and then, much to your horror, won the race.
You whipped around to Foxy, who was looking quite proud of himself, “What did you do?!”
“I put my devil fruit to good use, that’s what! I can slow down anything with my slow-slow beam.”
“That’s cheating! You’re a cheater!” You stomped your foot angrily, pointing an accusing finger at him.
“No it’s not. I said there were no rules in this race, didn’t I? That means I’m allowed to help my team from the sidelines if I want.” He tried to pat your head, but you slapped his hand away.
“But that’s not fair!”
“Life isn’t fair, kid, you should get used to it and be a good sport about your team losing,” Foxy had the audacity to try and scold you for your behavior. Who does he think he is?!
“I hate you! Stupid Split-Head!” You kicked his shin before running off to try and find your friends, you need to tell them about this. 
Due to how large Foxy’s crew was, it was difficult to find one of your friends. Especially when everyone was trying to get you to stop and talk to them for some reason. Finally, though, you spotted the red shirt that you would recognize in a heartbeat. 
“Luffy!” 
That catches his attention, alright. He whirls around and then runs to meet you. Knowing the drill, you lift your arms so he can pick you up. He does just that, holding you out in front of him, “There you are!” His clothes were wet and water was dripping out of his hair, he must have fallen into the ocean at some point.
Your first order of business was to return his prized possession to him. You pulled the hat off your head and placed it onto his, albeit a bit crooked, “I kept your hat safe for you!”
“I knew you could, good job Lucky!” Luffy pulled you in to balance you on his hip and used his free hand to ruffle your hair.
Now onto the big thing, “Luffy, that Split-Head guy is a cheater! He’s got a devil fruit that makes stuff super slow and he used it on Usopp, Nami, and Robin! He uses his fingers to do it!”
“Is that what happened?!” The grin he was previously sporting dropped and he looked surprised.
You nodded, “Mmhm! I saw it myself!”
Luffy mimicked your nod, humming in thought, “Well now that we know about it, we can look out for it in the next game. We’ll figure out how to beat it, don’t worry!”
You looked away, picking at his shirt nervously, “Are you sure? You said the same thing about winning the race, but…” 
He tensed up from that, “Hey, come on! Have some faith in me, in all of us. We’ll win the rest of the matches for sure!” Luffy knelt down to put you on the ground, “Now how about you go stand with the others, okay?”
“Okay,” you didn’t really want to leave him, but you needed to listen to him. He probably had important captain stuff to do. It only took a second to spot some of the others. They weren’t far away and were watching your interaction with Luffy. You hurried over, squeezing yourself in between Robin and Sanji.
Sanji dropped onto his knees and brought you into a tight hug. He was also soaking wet. “Were you okay being on your own, princess? No one bothered you, did they?”
“I’m okay. Some people did bother me, but I gave them the slip after I kicked one of them in the shins,” you declared proudly.
Sanji’s face pinched in fury, “Who?”
“Um,” you took a second to remember their names again. “Oh, Foxy and Hamburger!”
“Hamburger? Do you mean Hamburg?” Robin asked, stifling a chuckle. Oh yeah, Foxy did call him that, didn’t he?
“Yeah, that. They kept trying to talk to me and made me come with them to watch the race. I didn’t want to, but Hamburger- I mean Hamburg, picked me up and made me come with. Oh, and Foxy tried to give me candy but I didn’t take any.”
Sanji was scowling and looked ready to go on a rampage. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he let you go and stood up while digging his cigarettes and lighter out of his pockets. He was muttering about caving their heads in later.
The announcer and captain were standing on a stage and said that it was time to announce who they were taking for their victory. Your heart sank and you clung onto Robin’s leg nervously. Who were they going to steal? Would Luffy really be able to win them back? What if they won all three rounds and stole three of your friends? Robin pet your hair reassuringly.
“We have decided on who is becoming a Foxy pirate! It is none other than,” there was a pause for dramatic effect. Your stress was climbing with every second. The announcer took a deep breath and finally finished the sentence, “Lucky!”
Everyone fell silent, but for only a second. Then chaos erupted.
“Absolutely not!” Nami shrieked.
“You said she was too young to participate!” Sanji interjected.
“We said she was too young to participate in the fights, not that she was off the table for this part,” Foxy pointed out with a smirk.
“She’s four years old! What could you possibly want from her?!” Sanji was already mad before the announcement, but now he was furious.
“That doesn’t matter, you need to hand her over now, lest you want to break the rules,” Foxy reminded him.
Sanji was distracted from his argument as he heard a sob behind him. From you. Robin was quick to scoop you up, cradling you in her arms and trying to calm you down. “Now look what you did! She’s crying!” Sanji barked at them.
“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna!” You wailed, clinging onto Robin like your life depended on it. Which, as far as you were concerned, it did.
“Pick someone else, Lucky isn’t going to go with you,” Luffy spoke. His tone was cool, but the words were sharp.
“Don’t tell me what to do, straw hat. I’m making the rules here, not you. She’s a pirate, is she not? She needs to learn not to be such a crybaby. Besides, once she’s with us she’ll see how nice we are!” Foxy crowed proudly. 
“This is cruel, she’s just a child!” Robin chimed in, clutching you to her chest even tighter.
“Quit complaining so much, it’s not like we’re going to hurt her any worse than she’s already been hurt. We’re probably better suited for protecting her than you are,” the pointy-nosed woman was now approaching you and Robin, looking annoyed. “Now give her to me. Come here, Lucky! Do you want to go get some cotton candy with me?”
Her reaching for you only made you scream louder, “NO NO NO! I’m not going!” She tried to grab you anyways, but Robin was quick to put a stop to that. Arm sprouted from the woman’s body and immobilized her. 
Robin backed up by several paces, “Get away from her, you’re just going to make this worse!”
At this point, tears were pouring down your face and you felt like you couldn’t breathe despite how frantically your lungs were working. You coughed and hacked between hysteric breaths and sobs. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and your head hurt. They were going to take you away. You were going to be taken away from your friends again. Just like in Skypeia.
They were going to steal you.
They were going to hurt you.
“Don’t let me get taken away again!” You wailed at the top of your lungs.
Foxy scoffed, “This is getting ridiculous! Fine, if you won’t give her to us then I’ll tak-”
His sentence was ended abruptly by Luffy’s fist connecting with his face. A sickening crunch cut through the air. Before he even hit the ground, Luffy’s hand grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him close. As soon as he was in range, Luffy was on him. 
He climbed on top of him and as Foxy was raising his hands to defend himself, Luffy grabbed them and snapped his fingers before he could put his devil fruit to use. Then Luffy began wailing on him, furious, raw screams erupting from his throat.
Everyone was frozen in place, shocked at the display, but then the crowd rushed at Luffy to save their captain. They couldn’t even get close, though. Zoro leapt into action, cutting them down like paper. You weren’t able to see anything else after that, as Robin snapped out of her own state of shock and buried your face in her neck. “Don’t watch this, Lucky,” she whispered.
A hand landed on your head, gently stroking your hair. It feels like Sanji. He confirmed this by speaking lowly, “Robin, get Nami and Chopper and head back to the ship. Prepare it to set sail, it looks like we’re not going to be finishing these games after all.” He peaked around her shoulder to be able to look you in the eyes, “Don’t worry Lucky. We will never let you get taken away again, I promise.”
Many Foxy pirates swarmed around you ready to attack, only to get sent flying by Sanji. He didn’t even look back at you and Robin, “Go! I’ll protect you so just focus on getting the others and going back to the ship.”
“Right, let’s go Lucky,” Robin held you securely in her arms and ran. “Navigator! Doctor! We’re leaving, follow me!” They didn’t need to be told twice, cutting through the crowd to run in tandem with you and Robin. “We need to free the ship and get it ready to sail!”
“Should be easy enough,” Nami said. She caught your eye and switched to a softer tone, “When we get back to the ship, I need you to go hide in our room until one of us comes to get you, okay?”
“O-Okay,” you sniffled pitifully. At least the tears had stopped now. You chose to nestle in closer in Robin arms for the duration of the sprint back to the Going Merry, eager to leave and for this to all be behind you.
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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hulknussen · 2 months ago
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So I've been thinking about something for a while. It's not revolutionary, but I'm dying to talk about it, and you seem to be okay discussing these things.
I recently read Kevin's book (the best biography I've ever read) and one thing that really hit me was how much empathy Kevin has for people around him. He seems very emotional intelligent. I knew he was very reflected and thoughtful from his interviews and so on, but I was still blown away by how much grace and acceptance he extends to everyone.
When people discuss his book they often talk about his relationship with his father Jan, and how he both understands and looks up to his dad for following his dream. But at the same time talks about some of the struggles he had growing up with a single teen mom, with no money (like him eating a whole block of cheese as a teen got him grounded, coz it was too expensive to just eat as a snack), and then his dad would show up in a Ferrari, making her feel very inadequate and he still feels how unfair that was to her. The descriptions are very balanced and I feel like he really tries to understand and see it from all sides. It did change some of my perspectives on Jan though.
Him talking about the Hulk incident is also interesting, coz he is mostly confused over why Nico took it so personally. He has talked about the incident at length multiple times so it doesn't really take much space in the book. But he does admit that the racing move was dirty. For him the whole thing was blown out of proportions afterwards and the got tired of talking about it. He saw people make t-shirt and banners with it, that he thinks was to tease Nico, and he just thinks it got to be too much. Which makes me wonder if seeing his words used by others to hurt Nico has something to do with why he got sick of it, or if he just got annoyed that the words shaped a narrative about him that he didn't like. He has an interesting analogy where he compares racing to boxing, saying: when you are in the ring you try to win and might break each others noses, but afterwards it's over and you can hug and be good. That's how he sees racing and he doesn't think Nico is the only one taking things too personal in the paddock.
I've seen Kevin be presented in different ways in the media, but it's usually as this tough guy that doesn't take any bullshit. And while that might be true, I also feel like his more gentle and generous side is often neglected or ignored by the press. Maybe it's the format of the interviews, language barrier or something, because listening to the radios he is very quick to forgive mistakes and even calm his engineer down. In the book he gets to convey a lot of more complex emotions and it makes me believe that he understands a lot more of the emotional needs and wants of the people around him than people might think.
I'm sorry this got so long.
don't apologize this was very interesting. I wish there was an English translation so we wouldn't have to rely on twitter thread translations or blurbs like this. definitely agree that kevin being emotionally intelligent and aware isn't news, but I can also appreciate the extra insight like you said. and I think I've seen multiple people talk about it before but his experiences growing up definitely seem to be reflected in how much of a family man he is.
that said I never thought about the hulk incident like you put it here. to me it was just something that annoyed him, yeah, but from a shipper's perspective I of course like the proposition that he might have also disliked it because Nico did seem genuinely upset about it and his words were used to continue rubbing it in. don't get me wrong he isn't gonna go cry about it--more of a "damn we dont gotta be like this why are you guys putting a wedge I dont even want here between us" (also fits nicely with him saying he always respected nico). food for thought, at least. or then again, this also fits with painting him in a light he doesnt want to be painted in. I lost my point I think, so all of that is to say I agree with your points, and appreciate that you unearthed them for us non danish speakers.
I think the media going so heavy on the tough guy persona was really influenced by DTS. not to sound like one of those people who blames that series for everything wrong with the sport (I have my opinions on the show for sure, but all the "u must be a DTS fan" shit is just as annoying) but all the fok smash my door memes came from there, and they were easily marketable drama. he was also just by nature of being a haas driver connected to gunther who loveed the publicity. reading articles from earlier (Im thinking of one from 2015 right now I believe it was) he was presented as more level headed. sure, not perfect, but more balanced to just a reckless angry short guy which let's be real is what he is to a lot of people. as always I am a fan of smushing it both together, let him punch a bit, let him give soft kisses a bit :) some nuance, that sort of thing.
wow, look at that, my response got almost as long as your ask. suppose that fits.
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barebevil · 1 year ago
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I'll start with my pitch. This is a full soliloquy that i break out into whenever i talk to someone who shows just the barest modicum of interest in reading the book. I'm a great conversationalist don't worry about it. THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT IS A BOOK ABOUT BARU CORMORANT. When baru is a child her home is subject to foreign imperial expansion, by means of economics and education, she is discovered by an agent of this empire to be a math genius and is enrolled in an imperial school where she makes it her mission to prove herself an impress the powers that be in order to earn a favorable position and climb the hierarchy of power within the empire, for you see she means to behold the very machinations of the imperial machine. and she means to burn it all down from the inside. but in order to do so, to climb, to impress, she has to compromise everything about herself. she cant have personal values, personal relationships, morals, and no goals but this one: more power and more influence. She cannot be herself or she will doom herself and everything she's already sacrificed will have been for naught. (At this point is when I'll usually pivot and say the following--) I've cried over a book before, I've been moved to tears by books before, sometimes because something is sad, or it is joyous, whatever. i've cried over books before is the point, and i thought, as i was nearing the end of THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT that perhaps this would be such an instance. I thought, and no spoilies but, well, i was in the final stretch and thought that probably the end might make me cry. Reader it did not. Have you ever read something that was so viscerally upsetting that you skipping right past crying and went straight to nausea? because that's what happened to me. Not one tear, but a single sentence made me feel like i was genuinely going to throw up. Fuck this book is so fucking good. I really thought i might throw up thats how sad and upset i was. and it was PERFECT. What happened was exactly what needed to happen. Again, no spoilies but oh my god. Nauseous. AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST BOOK. We then follow Baru as she achieves every single one of her goals, and goes more insane in the process. With every victory she destroys herself more, with every sacrifice she curries more favor. And she only becomes more insane and more horny. And now you may ask yourself, what does horny have to do with it? EVERYTHING. The higher she climbs, the more she injures and destroys and compromises herself, the more separation she creates between her mind and her body, the more removed she becomes from herself, the harder it becomes to unify the two, to satisfy any carnal need, harder to do as much as identify her own desires much less realize them. She loses herself, she wins, she loses more, she wins more.
The most common criticism i've seen online of the first book in the serious is that it's boring. First of all get better soon. second of all, YES Baru is an accountant she deals a lot in economic policy and money and numbers but oh my god its THRILLINGGGGG. I happen to find math quite romantic and poetic and I know that's not everyone's bag, but when in book 2 a whole page is dedicated to the description of one mathematical axiom as a metaphor for a situation Baru is trying to deal with, here i WAS almost moved to tears. It's such a good book.
Oh and did I mention? (I did not) The characters are all fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's wall to wall fucking hits, Seth Dickinson my close personal friend Seth Dickinson oh my god your mind your mind!!!!!!!!!!!
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starsunderwaterr · 2 years ago
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Comfort with the Idols + Agents! (pt. 1)
Hey guys! I really do apologize for the late posts. Trying to manage my time better. Not even gonna hold you all, my week's been pretty ass, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we could all use a little bit of comfort from our favorite cephalopods. Enjoy guys, love you ♡
I'll just be doing Squid Sisters for this part bc I am currently on a plane traveling home and I am off the extremely desired two hours bro
All characters are 18+
Minors DNI
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Callie!
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Welp
Girlie knows exactly when you’re upset
She can just read you that good because she’s the same way way herself
She can tell when you’re upset based on your body language, and she’ll do her best to be there for you
She’ll start by sending a few texts, but of course, it depends on the situation
‘Heyyy!! I noticed you were really off today and I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay!!! (≧◡≦) ♡ let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!! ♡ ♡’
She doesn’t always want to press, but if you let her in, she’ll be all over you (in a good way)
Anything you need, she’ll get, and she means it
Water, candy, your favorite takeout place, a gun
In all seriousness, if you ask her to come over, she will bring a whole bunch of your favorite comfort things, go on a whole spending spree just for you so that you can feel better
She's definitely gonna make you something hot and warm, grab a blanket, and sit down with you on the couch to talk
Will take your hands and hold them with such gentle care omg>>>
Her hands are also super soft???? Like, girlie takes such good care of her skin
So she's holding your hands and she's just looking at you in your lil sad burrito
The softest voice, "Hey, it's gonna be alright. Tell me what's going on..."
You can't help but tell her, she's just so comfortable to be around
Halfway through telling her, you burst into a sob, and instantly her arms are around you
Will hold you gently but securely so that you feel safe
Will rub your back and kiss your head
Is like,,,, scarily calm but genuinely worried about you, especially because it's not every day that you break down in her arms
“It’s okay to cry, (Y/N). Just let it out. I’m here.”
Her voice is always so gentle and calming, and she’s surprisingly a good listener when things get serious
Holds you until you tire yourself out, and even then, she’s not going to let go unless you make the move or say so
And she’s really going out of her comfort zone for you, since she gets extremely antsy after sitting for long periods of time, so she really does care for you
Will stay with you for however long you need, grabs you anything you ask for
Will try to sympathize with you through her own stories and whatnot
“You don’t ever have to hide it from me because eventually I will figure it out anyways!”
Okay nah but like why is it actually cute when she threatens you like that
Causes your chest to swell just a tad
Will literally stare at you before saying like the sweetest/most adorable thing ever
"You know I'm really happy I met you. I know I don't say it enough but thank you for being my friend and so much more."
Will literally bring you to tears like-
You had a bad day but your girlfriend just swoops in and brings you a care package, cuddles, AND A HEARTFELT MESSAGE LIKE HUH??????
We fr love Callie, she a real one <3
Marie!
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So, Marie is observant, but maybe not in the way you'd think
She will notice changes in your behavior, but she doesn't say anything until it concerns her (AKA when she can get enough evidence to tell that you are not normal HDSHHHD)
Will notice you get either really quiet or way too bubbly (even if you are naturally)
Eyes you suspiciously and will stare into your soul before then having her aha moment
“So there is something wrong, you just didn’t want to tell me.”
You can’t really keep a poker face after that, I’m afraid
She’ll stare into your soul and glare at you (lovingly, of course) with her arms crossed over her chest
“Come on, (Y/N). Can’t fool me with that crap.”
Will soften up though once you respond, especially if you try to push her away or get snappy
“You don’t have to tell me, of course, but… I am worried about you.”
If you want your space, she’ll leave you be, but she’ll check up on you after a few hours
She knows the importance of and loves her alone time, so if you want it, she will, by all means, give it to you
After a few hours, she stands in the doorway, knocking softly on the doorframe, “Hey (Y/N)?”
Marie is usually very dry and nonchalant, but she has some care in her voice
Will look at you with soft, saddened eyes as you’re in your little sad burrito, trying to remain as gentle as she can be
Walks over and just scoops you up, even if you're heavier than her, SHE'LL MAKE IT WORK OKAY-
Holds you in her lap and will cradle you close
and yes her face is bright red and she's embarrassed but she's doing this for you bro
Will gently stroke your head and kind of hum gently as she does
I see Marie as a sort of grandma type (I mean, Callie calls her one all the time-) so I can see her literally holding you and crotcheting or something while you just relax against her
Will occasionally mumble something about a stitch pattern and kiss your head, or she'll talk quietly with you as she does it and holds you
Might crack the occasional joke to try and cheer you up
Will be stitching you a little cat/bunny hat, will look back at it, then at you, then back at it again, then back at you and just-
"Yeah, you'll look reallll ugly in this.-"
LIKE MS. GOWRL-
Will give you a look like YOU DID SOMETHING LIKE WHAT-
It works tho bc girlie gets you giggling out of pure confusion and caught-off-guardness (yes, that's a word bc i said so)
She doesn't actually mean it tho, I mean, come on, you're her partner of course she thinks you're gorgeous
Obvi if you're really upset she won't say that, but her dry and emotionless humor is a love language she uses to try and cheer you up
She loves you fr fr <3
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2af-afterdark · 2 years ago
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What are your opinions on all the Nu:Carnival characters? Eiden, the familiars, the clan members and Rin
This is not a coherent list. Mostly just my rambling thoughts on them. In introduction order!
Eiden: How could you not love our sweet little switch? He's such a joy to experience the story thorough and his pure and honest care for everyone makes it easy to see how they've all fallen for him. Kinky and caring, rolls with the punches, gets passionate on his loved one's behalf, easy to empathize with; I adore him (which is why I bothered to pull for him enough times to have his only unit be at 3*)
Aster: I love a dominate twink. I do find it hilarious that he got kinks people usually balk at in his few sex scenes (foot job and sounding). I love how he is the businessman of the team. What I learned about his past when Huey was still around made me want to cry. Support his desire to collect and spoil cute monsters. Hate that the devs refuse to give him more cards because he isn't a clan member. WHY GIVE HIM ANY CARDS IF YOU WILL NEVER RELEASE NEW ONES???? HE HAS FANS TOO!!!
Morvay: I love this big idiot (affectionate). He is always trying his best, even if he thinks with his stomach/asshole. I only want good things for him and am upset at the current story making me wait to see if he is alright! Give my succubus back! Same critique as with Aster: HE HAS FANS! WHY REFUSE TO GIVE HIM NEW CARDS??? It's such a dumb rule.
Yakumo: Someone please get this boy some confidence and self-worth. I cannot stand to watch him be so insecure when all I want to do is kiss his adorable face and tell him he is wonderful and perfect. His protective nature despite his belief he is not good enough moves me to fucking tears. Someone... This boy needs way more love.
Edmond: Cannot comment. I have no interest in him. He's just not my thing. He is very pretty though.
Olivine: Slutty priest makes brain go brrrrrr. I am just... the way his parents pushed him but he honestly tries so hard for everyone! I love him! He's not my favorite, but every time I read his cards I feel like I fall in love with him for the first time all over again and I do not know how to explain it.
Quincy: Okay, stop. Listen. I just... He's old. He's so old that he has seen people be born and die and leave him behind and he's tired physically, emotionally, and mentally. He has this barrier set up to protect himself, but to see Eiden break down that barrier and get Quincy wanting to be close to another person with a finite lifespan again? FUCK ME! Plus, you know, big and buff and hot. Size diff kink go brrrr.
Topper: Clearly the best character in the game. All power to Master Twilight Star-Show Max Lucifer Topper III!!!! I love how he gets his own outfit to match Quincy's during events.
Kuya: Much the same I said about Quincy, but in a more spicy flavor. He has the added bonus of being a yokai, creatures that have... questionable relationships with humans. He has lived so long that life has lost it's appeal to him as there is nothing worth living for; not knowledge, not power, not people. He's reached ennui and literally cannot see the point of his own life (we see a past version of him debating killing himself in one card). Eiden though? Eiden has brought that small spark of joy back into his life. He fucks with Eiden and can often take it in a direction that seems too far from a human perspective, but he never genuinely allows Eiden to come to harm. He is genuinely excited (in a subtle way) when he learns something new, and seems to be happy when his cynical view of the world is disproven (though he tries not to show it). Eiden has allowed him to open up to the world again, especially because Eiden doesn't forcibly bash his lived experience but also doesn't roll over and accept Kuya's bad traits. I love Kuya. He is my favorite. Also, he somehow got a shit ton of my kinks and I... yeah...
Garu: Cute puppy boy. He gets head scratches and wags his tail. I love how genuine he is. Garu is exactly who he says he is in every way and it is very refreshing. I just want to love and spoil him.
Karu: I admit... Karu is not my cup of tea. It may be because I'm not actually a fan of bratty tsunderes. It can be cute sometimes, but most of the time I find myself rolling my eyes and missing Garu. A shame because I usually like characters that have two conflicting personalities.
Blade: SOMEONE GET HIM A HUG!!!! He was alone for so long in that forest and he deserves better. I'm so glad he found Eiden and came out of there, away from that loneliness and waiting. Every time he defaults back into droid mode I get sad because I want him to enjoy being alive and being in love. Every time he says "Darling" my brain turns off and I wake up hours later with no memories.
Dante: It is hilarious how he innocent he really is while trying to act like the king. Eiden plays him like a fiddle. Hearing his past can make me sad though. I mean... Why does this game keep hurting our boys like this????
Rin: Why hot if evil? He has an eye mask and a tongue piercing... I am a weak person. I have things I like and he has them. I also want to slap him though because he hurt the boys I love! Also... yeah... I need the story here...
Rei: POWER BOTTOM! WE FINALLY GOT A POWER BOTTOM!!! And I love that he's not immediately all over Eiden but treats their relationship more casually. It's a refreshing dynamic. Also, he's a scientist doing questionable research in his house which is just 😳😳😳 Go on, Sir.
Father: Why is he named that? Is there secret lore or..??? Another animal companion to get cute event outfits. And apparently he's an animal that people have entire legends/wives tales about? I NEED THE LORE!!!
Huey: Fuck that guy.
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elsfairy · 2 years ago
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Sevika comforting her kid after a break up. Or Sevika comforting the kid when they climb into bed with her. \\\>~<///
wait, this is actually adorable???? i will try my hardest <3 i feel like this is so longggggg. Sorry it's late, i fell asleep and i just feel like this is so.. idk rushed???? i hope you like it tho <3
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• Sevika is very, very protective of her daughter. Maybe a little too much, but she hates to see her upset or hurt. It's a very motherly instinct.
• She was aware that Sevika cared about her emotions, her feelings and everything about her. Yet sometimes she felt like she just didn't want to worry her. Worrying the Brute was something she always did.
• At first, it was easy to avoid talking about why she was so quiet. To avoid the tension, the hurt. It was so easy. Sevika just assumed she was okay, because she was smiling. Sure she could master the fake smile a lot, but she just didn't want her mother to worry.
• "Hey" Sevika frowns, patting her head gently. "You sure you're okay? You've barely eaten your food"
• "Yeah, I'm just tired"
• She never bought it. But she understood that her daughter had boundaries and wanted her space so she would leave it. She didn't want to make her angry or upset her even more. The little tinker in the back of her head still going off on knowing she was lying.
• It was a stupid mistake, such a stupid mistake to bring up if her girlfriend was coming over to do their homework together. It was so dumb but Sevika genuinely adored that someone loved her daughter.
• Frankly, she didn't except her daughter to blow up over such a question. She had Sevika's temper when she was mad. So it was a little startling. As much as she wanted to go after her, she knew she needed her space. Even if broke her heart.
• Thankfully, she's not the type to break anything.
• When the home was silent, that's when Sevika worries even more. Her daughter was a crier, and a loud one at that. So the silence is heart wrenching.
• It's surprising how clean her daughters room always was when her anger came out. Nothing was touched, nothing was ruined. She just sat there, on her bed silent.
• "She broke up with me"
• Of course she's confused. They were fine when she saw them together last week. They were happy, laughing and just glad to be with each other. So yes, Sevika had no idea what to say for a few minutes.
• "Hey look at me, Honey"
• She's not closed off when it comes to her daughter. If she needs someone to listen, Sevika is right there. If she needs a hug, Sevika is right there. If she needs anything, Sevika is right there.
• She would always lay her head in Sevika's lap, sniffling and having her hair played with. It's something that the Brute always did when she was younger, and it just became a habit. One her daughter loved.
• "I know you don't want to talk about it but⎯" She pauses, thinking of her question a little better. "what happened? you were fine last week. Did something happen? did she hurt you?"
• "No, she didn't hurt me... i think she just didn't love me as much as i thought.. or as much as i loved her.. don't go chasing after her to shout at her"
• "Hey, i might be an asshole sometimes but that doesn't mean im going to go and shout at someone. Especially if that someone is someone you care about. It's alright, i got you. I know you're hurting but it's alright, im right here"
• Sevika would hold her when she cried. As much as she didn't like her daugher crying her poor heart out, she knew she needed to get it out and she would be there with her. Rocking her back and forth slowly.
• "Found one of those stupid movies you really liked a few years ago, do you want to watch one, and actually eat the rest of your dinner?"
• Movie nights don't happen when her daughter is upset. Playing board games is what she enjoyed more and Sevika couldn't say no to her. Or sometimes reading, the Brute will gladly read of her many books to her daughter. To calm her down.
• That girl was her world. Her own flesh and blood. She hated to see her so upset, but she knew she would be okay. Just baby steps.
• She didn't like talking about it much, so instead she would mumble out random jokes while Sevika braided her hair. Sometimes they didn't have to talk, just doing something together was more than enough comfort.
• Hot chocolate. Always have the hot chocolate on standby. That was her daughters favourite comfort drink.
• Honestly? Sevika is building a blanket fort with her daughter if it means she's thinking about something else. Taking her mind off of what was upsetting her was the best idea and she would try her hardest.
• "I love you Honey"
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gooberino · 2 years ago
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Thoughts on fictional dads and childhood trauma part 1
Gonna get pretty personal for a moment, and talk about my childhood trauma so scroll past if that's not something you can handle rn <3 Just want to have this written down somewhere.
Been thinking about why I obsess over fictional dilfs so much while I have a pretty dysfunctional relationship with my own father. Growing up my father was not a loving and caring person, he very much had the pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep your emotions to yourself attitude. For himself, me and my family. He was insulting, mean, rarely ever gave praise, and everything we did as a family was controlled by him. We were expected to make HIM happy, and he got upset when we didn't fit his mold of a perfect family.
I don't think you understand how frustrating it is being 22 and your dad STILL being unable to take accountability for his past actions. While still craving the affection and validation of that same awful person.
I can remember getting dizzy and throwing up on a bike ride, and my dad angrily pushing me to keep going when I wanted to go back home to rest up. Then the following day we went on another bike ride to appease him.
I can remember my sister crying to me that he had threatened to break her dogs neck if she didn't get her shit together. (She was struggling with money and mental problems at the time from my memory.)
I can remember holding back tears when he was trying to teach me math and would make fun of me and insult me when I couldn't solve a problem.
I could fill a book with the amount of traumatic and dysfunctional ways he's behaved towards me and my family. The bottom line is nothing is good enough for him. No matter what accomplishment you tried to share, there was always something you could do to make it better. The walk should be multiple hours to count as a "good" walk. You need to live life with an education and a well paying job to be considered valid etc.
To then have your siblings and mother who are all just as traumatized be able to forgive him and willingly accept him in their life. It's isolating and it hurts. How can you just forgive someone who's caused you so much grief? I want to participate in my family but it's immensely difficult when I struggle to relate to them and my dad is still incredibly present in it, still being unchallenged on his views.
Now that's my dad and how he's traumatized me. But how did that affect me later on and most interesting how on earth does that connect to obsessing over fictional dads!?
I'll get to it in the next post, if you genuinely read everything I had to say I really appreciate you! <3
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maochira · 1 year ago
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Need to know what was goinh through yoir ocs' mind during the u 20, especially w shidou saying some interesting things to sae.
OMG thank you so much for asking this because I've thought about this A LOT ever since I started shipping Takumi and Shidou back im February
ANYWAYS I vaguely referenced to it in Takumi's Egoist Bible profile and I also wrote a little about it in his general info thing back in March but I'm going more into detail here (but if you wanna know more about Takumi's and Shidou's relationship, I recommend reading his general info thing)
Takumi originally wasn't supposed to be one of the starters for the Blue Lock Eleven (he was supposed to be on the bench), but Ego changed his mind when Sae chose Shidou. (Which made players like Raichi and Barou, who already didn't like Takumi, very mad because he's so short and gets to be a starter instead of them)
But actually, at this point only a handful of players knew Takumi and Shidou were dating. They decided to not tell others because Shidou thought it'd be funnier if they find out on their own. Although around this time more of the others slowly find out and that's when Takumi's nickname "cockroach's boyfriend" starts.
But ANYWAYS on to the match. Takumi is a midfielder and when the second half starts and he sees Shidou, he gets excited. Then he sees and hears... you know. All the stuff between Shidou and Sae.
That makes Takumi mad, obviously. Especially because some things like the more sexual ones ("You've made me throb like never before" or whatever Shidou said), it's stuff Shidou has never said to Takumi. For a moment, he feels like he wants to break down in tears but he knows he can't do that right now. He wants to stay on the field so he gets himself together and uses his anger as a motivation to beat Shidou and Sae. And that makes him enter the flow state!
Also, the rest of the players watching who didn't know they were dating find out like this. Because Ego knew and he said something about "Takumi against his boyfriend."
After the match, Takumi disappears out of the Blue Lock locker room pretty quickly so he can go and confront Shidou. He just goes into the U20 locker room and talks to Shidou, not caring about the rest of the team there. Obviously all of them are very confused, especially Sae.
At this time, Takumi is still in his "on-field"-personality, but starts to switch back to his normal one. And with his normal personality, he can't feel anger (he internalises it and the anger returns when he plays soccer) so he starts crying because Shidou doesn't take him serious. But then suddenly Shidou becomes very caring, so he apologizes and comforts Takumi.
The reason for this are the same as in these headcanons I wrote a while back! But TLDR: Shidou made Takumi cry because he struggles with expressing affection in the right ways, but he knows he can do it by comforting. But that requires Takumi to be really upset first.
When Takumi returns to the Blue Lock locker room, he's still crying a bit but the others distract him with celebrating about their victory.
Afterwards, Shidou and Takumi don't talk about this anymore, even though they spend the entire 2 week break together. Takumi also deletes Sae's number from Shidou's phone, because even though he trusts Shidou, he doesn't know what type of person Sae is so just to be sure he deletes the number.
Shidou's and Takumi's relationship doesn't get worse after this. They still have the same trust in each other and even without talking about it, Takumi knows Shidou said what he said simply because he's Shidou, there's not much more of an explanation to give. And he doesn't believe Shidou would genuinely cheat on him, so everything's alright for the most part.
I mean, in general their relationship is kinda bumpy because of how little they get to see each other (they were in the same team in first selection, didn't see each other during second selection, they got so see each other during third selection and also played against each other, then the U20 match happened and then finally they had the 2 week break. During Neo Egoist League they visit each other at least twice a week.) But they didn't expect dating in Blue Lock to be easy, so they're okay and deal with it.
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agirlwholovesrockstars · 2 years ago
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out of touch part 4 ♡
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OUT OF TOUCH PART 1 ♡
OUT OF TOUCH PART 2 ♡
OUT OF TOUCH PART 3 ♡
word count : this is a long part but I hope you'll still liked it!
summary : ever since the incident, you and Eddie grew closer and closer together, you became more confident with yourself, Eddie became serious in his studies because of you, you both have inspiration with each other, this sudden changes between you, it's all new to you and you fear it might all went down at the end, you know it in yourself that you love him since the first day, will you leave him hanging alone at the end? or it's time to face your fears to open up your heart and love again?
IF ANY OF THESE WARNINGS TRIGGERING YOU PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE TO CONSUME ANY MEDIA!
warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x FEM! reader, no use of y/n but reader is Amanda Jones, language, reader is having a panic attack, mentions of divorced parents, that's about it
what to expect : fluff, angst, mutual pining, clueless idiots who can't make the first move lol
author note : I hope you enjoyed reading my first long series fiction! there's more to come after this! I'm so sorry for my poor writing skills- I'm trying my best! If you have any ideas to write for me in this universe don't be shy to comment down below! 🥰✨
THE STORY IS SET IN 1987!
and yes I remove the part where EDDIE DIDN'T DIE! 😤
Eddie sits back down and he leans forward and he held both of your hands and caresses it as he tries to study your face
your eyes are swollen and bloodshot from too much crying but Eddie still thinks that you're the most stunning person that he ever laid eyes on
you can't even look at him in the eye because you're ashamed of yourself from being too vulnerable around him and for what happened
he can see your timid expression and he breaks the silence when he spoke "there's no need to feel like this." as if he can read your mind
You finally have the courage to look at him in the eyes and you said "W-what?"
"I said, don't be afraid to let it all out. there's nothing to be scared of, if you want to cry out your emotions infront of me."
Jeff and Marlon's voice echoed into your mind and you remembered what they told you about Eddie that it's useless to worry something that he might harm you
"I just wanted to let you know that Eddie would never ever hurt you."
"My dear, you have nothing to be afraid of."
You and Eddie stare at each other and you can see in his eyes that he is truly genuine to make you feel better and your heart warms about the thought that he is there for you and trying to understand you
when you remembered all of the things that his friends talked you about him and hearing this from him, you can finally feel yourself getting comfortable around him and even depend on him...
yeah, you already trust on him even in the first place but after this, you thought he might change his mind but he didn't and that makes you even more miserable because this is all going to well.
"I-I don't know what to say." you sniffle
"You can talk to me about it but I don't want you to rush and be pressured, I just don't want you-" he paused looking down at your hands
"I just don't like seeing you suffer like this, I-I wish I could do something from what's stopping you to let people love you, if anything inside you that's hurting you I wish I could make it go away..." he looks back up with misty eyes
before you know it- you breakdown sobbing again infront of him and you shake your head while ducking your head down
You're having a panic attack, you can't stop breathing heavily and your chest hurts
Eddie blink his tears away and his eyes widened to see you crying again as he tightens the grip on your hands as he thought he done something wrong to upset you, he turns around at the diner and he saw a pitcher of water on the counter, he gets up and run towards it while pouring the water down on a paper cup he can see you shaking like a leaf- a cold sweat goes down on him as he watches you... he gives you the cup of water right between your hands
"Oh no- shit- my bad- I'm so sorry, I-I am so stupid! I've shouldn't talked- he says as he sits back down and hold your hands again groans at himself
You drank the water that he gave you and that calm you down "No, Eddie- Ed- Eddie!" You put the cup down and you hold his hands
you sniffle and you swallowed "I-I'm sorry this is all new to me and I am still- you look at him in the eyes and you can tell that he is worried
You look back down and you said "trying understand myself- it's been really hard for to think that this is real- I've never have experienced or literally never had been able to talk to someone like this." you notice your knees go up and down from anxiety
"You haven't done anything wrong, Eddie, and I can feel that." you reassure him while slowly letting out a sad smile
he taps on your hand and he lets out a sigh of relief and he said "just talk to me okay? if you need anything just talk to me, please I will listen to everything."
You're trying to control your emotions after hearing all of that from him- he doesn't know the reason why you suddenly breakdown infront of him, it's because you're touched by his words and actions and it feels unusual to you but you ignore all of your thoughts and you said "Okay" softy and you nod at him
Eric appears beside and he holds two coffee cups and he clears his throat
you both look back up at him and you quickly remove both of your hands at each other and Eddie shifts his seat and you wipe off the tears from your cheeks
Eric feels the tension all too well and he said "I'm sorry to interrupt, but here's your coffee."
but before he gives it to you he said "I don't know what you'll like but it's caramel macchiato, my usual order."
"Wait- that's my usual order too!" you let out a beaming smile at him
"Really? Oh- thank goodness, now drink up you need it." he titter while he gives your coffee to you hand
"Thank you, Eric" you take a sip and you sigh "this feels great."
Eric nods at you and he puts the one down on the table for Eddie
"I know your coffee order, black coffee, 2 sugars and a splash of milk right?"
"uh- yeah that's right, thank you dude."
"It was nothing" he shrugged "I'll go back to my table now, just call me if you need anything, alright?"
You and Eddie both nod at him and you watch him walk towards to the table where Jeff and Gareth is sitting and they look away from the both of you
you caught them both and you chuckled and Eddie shakes his head after seeing his two friends pretends doing something after they got caught
You and Eddie both enjoyed drinking your coffees in comfortable silence for a moment
until Eddie decides to speak up "Can I ask you something? It's okay if you- if you're not comfortable with it."
"Yeah, sure, what is it?"
"Is that the reason why you moved to a lot of schools?"
"hm, I guess so-" you avoid his eyes and you look back down on your coffee
"You guess?" he asks in bewilderment
you sigh and you respond without looking at him
"Maybe, that's the reason why I left those schools." you shrugged "there's really nothing much for me to say."
Eddie looks at you from up and down as he tries to find the right question without making you feel uncomfortable
"Do you parents know that you can- um-"
"Do those stuff?" you cut him off
he nods at you
"Yeah, my dad teach me some moves for my safety because we really don't have anything before and sometimes they find a way that we can put something on our table or for our needs, can be dangerous, you know?" you tap your finger on the coffee cup lid
He winces at the thought of you having not enough for everything before- he sighs sadly while drink back up of his coffee
"Don't feel pity on me" you pointed a look at him
You sudden feel enraged at the conversation- the reason why you don't want to open up because you hate the feeling of sympathy that people thought of you- but deep down you know it yourself that you're longing for someone that understands you and that is Eddie
He looks back up on you while he drinks his coffee and put it down as you can read his mind, he clears his throat
"No- no- I don't- I avoid that to make you feel that way- I just want to understand you so I can help you." he said with a shaky voice
"I don't ask you to do that." you bite back
"You don't have to because that's what I always wanted to do in the first place." he replies with indignant in his eyes
Your eyes started to twitch from what you just saw in his expression
all of his friends didn't lie and you can see that in him
He says it with such certain tone coming out from his mouth and you can't even pick where he is doubtful on that moment
You stare at him and look away while you finish your coffee
you shift your seat as you can feel repentance coming through you
"I'm sorry- I- I'm just tired- I didn't mean to snap at you like that." You say while you massage your forehead in shame
"Amanda, how many times do I have to tell you, it's okay like seriously!" he says it while lets out a small chuckle
Your face lights up and you giggled
"Oh, that's what I wanted to see in you." He crosses his arms and he leans back
You blushed and can't help but smile while looking at him
"so- uh- about my"
"Your cool moves?" he smirks
You snort "yeah, that" you start "I only use that when they really want to get under my skin but sometimes I just look at them in the eye and then they stopped mistreating me." You rolled your eyes
"What happens if you do- like you know- with the action?"
"They won't tell it to anyone"
"Why not?"
"I think they're afraid of what my parents do to them but I doubt it they will do something to punish them for what they did unless they do something really bad to me." You paused
"My parents always treat people with kindness even when they're horrible to them and that's what I've been struggling with." You look back down playing with your rings on your fingers
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Eddie furrows his eyebrows to you and he said "What do you mean?"
"I don't know if I'm a good person."
"But you are"
"I hurt people that I love, Eddie and I am forever hating myself for that
Eddie frowns at you and he stops you for playing with your rings and his one hand goes down to your chin to tilt your head up to make you look at his eyes
"Listen to me, you only did that because you defended yourself and there's nothing wrong of what you did, the bad people who are mean to you that you hurt before that's their problem and it's not you, please, don't blame yourself when something goes wrong, stop, self-doubting yourself." he paused leaning forward to get closer to you
"How can I tell someone that has a good heart?" he asked you while caressing his thumb on your cheek
You nod softly and you look in his eyes with fond while you listen to him
"When the world test them, they'll never break their spirit even they go through with so much but they still continue to have this pure soul that everyone would want to have someone like that in their life." he smiles while looking at you and he leans down and kisses your cheek
You gasp again at the feeling of it but recovered quickly "You really mean that?"
"I really do."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I just know.... I always feel it."
"Hmm" you smile at him
Marlon and Hopper entered the diner and you and Eddie and the gang looked at them
"I called your parents." Hopper says while gesturing his hand to the payphone outside
He shoves his hand onto his pockets "they want to talk to you."
"Oh-" you look back at Eddie his hand still at your cheek and you hold it and you get up and lean down to kiss his cheek
Eddie's eyes flutters at your unexpected action and his smile widens
You smirk and you said "I'll be back, Eds."
He nods and he held your hand and give it squeeze one last time
He watches you heading towards the payphone outside
Marlon sits down from where you're sitting and Hopper orders for a coffee
"How is she?" Marlon asks still feel guilty about the situation
"She is overwhelmed with everything at the moment, but she's doing fine." Eddie says while he glances back at you and to his friends
Meanwhile Jeff, Gareth and Eric talks about you and Eddie
"I didn't expect her to do something like that, but- but it's not like- it's a bad thing- but holy shit!" Gareth exclaims still haven't moved on from your self-defense action earlier but he whispers slightly when he saw Eddie looking at him
"You know what they say, don't judge by a book by its cover." Jeff says while coming back to his seat after throwing his coffee cup in the trash can
Eric ignoring his friends rambling and he is in his deep thoughts while playing around the rim of his coffee cup
Jeff notices him and he says "hey, man are you okay?"
Eric looks back up at him "I just- don't know what I would do if something happened to her if we didn't get outside at time." he says still frantic about the situation
Jeff and Gareth remained quiet and look back at each other and frown at him
Eric turns around to catch a glimpse at his friend, Eddie talking to Marlon
and he smiles as he sees Eddie eyes full of love and joyfulness and looks back at Jeff and Gareth
"I hope they work out, even I just met her, I really like her for Eddie, I'm rooting for them both."
Gareth shows a small smile
"I can feel it to you know, since her first day at school, they're really made for each other." Jeff says and he smiles looking back at Eddie
"Hi, Mom?" You said while playing with the telephone cord afraid of what might your parents have to say about the situation
she sighs in the telephone "oh- sweet girl- are you alright? are you hur-
she got cut off by your dad "did you do what I thought you to do?"
"Of course, Dad, always."
"Wait-" he pauses "did your friends knew about this?"
"Sad to say, Dad, I didn't told them about it."
he chuckles "Are they surprised?"
you scoffed "Dad!" and you laugh while shaking your head
"Yeah, they are."
You can feel your dad grinning over the phone "and now they won't try to harm you because they already know what they're gonna get-"
Your dad cut off and you can hear their argument over the phone
"Oh- for goodness sake! your daughter almost got kidnapped and harassed and you're acting like it was normal!"
"It was normal- for me" you answered while you roll your eyes
Your parents know that you can handle yourself really well but still they're always worried even though you know what you're doing- especially your mom- and it's very funny to remember all of things that you did and your mom acts like it was the first time that you did something like that
she huffed "Anyways- how's your friends? are they doing okay?"
"Yeah, they are! except for Jeff though- he punched one of boys who tried to hurt me but he is good."
"Oh- is that his name who picked you up in the morning?"
"Uh- no, that's Eddie, Jeff is a friend of his."
You can feel your mom is hesitant to ask something that is very personal but you said
"I know you're trying to ask me something don't worry I won't get mad at you, Mom, come on, spill it."
"So- um- do they still treat you nice like before?"
You take a deep breath you smile and you say "Yes, Mom, they do, they're very sweet and caring."
"Wow, that's- very wonderful."
"It is, Mom, I'm so grateful that I got to meet them, they're very thoughtful and understanding, especially Eddie."
Your mom smiles at the thought of you finally having a good time at your new school except for the incident part but she is still worried about you "Well, hearing that from you, I want to meet him soon. I would like to thank him for giving my daughter this new found happiness."
"Oh- god, Mom, we're not even dating yet."
"Yet? does that mean there's a possibility? then go on it already!" Your mom exclaimed
You flustered using your one hand to cover your face
"Fine- maybe soon, I'll let you know."
Your mom squealed and you chuckled
"I really like him though" you overheard your dad
"Me too" your mom replied to him
"You guys are not the only ones who think we look good together."
"Alright, alright, we'll behave I can see your expression right now even we're at the phone I can sense that you're annoyed."
"Whatever, Mom" you chuckled
Your dad snatch the phone again "Oh- by the way, we're not at home anymore, we're on a business trip but we'll be back at Friday, we're sorry it's last minute."
"That's fine, Dad."
"You got a spare key right?"
"Yes I do"
"Okay, good, take care, hun."
"Hey, Dad?"
"Yeah?"
You purse your lips together and close your eyes "if it's okay with you guys, I would like to stay over with Eddie, just for tonight?"
"Tell her that it's okay!" You overheard your mom's encouragement and you shake your head playfully
"Sure, you can stay, but know your limits alright?"
"Gosh- Dad- please- I know."
He chuckled "Okay, goodnight, Amanda take care, I love you."
"I love you too, Dad." he pass the phone to your mom
"Call us in the morning when you get home okay?
"Okay, Mom, you know I will."
"My sweet girl, I love you so much."
"I love you more."
You hanged up and you walked back towards at the diner
You entered and you noticed all of them
Eddie, Marlon, Hopper, Eric, Gareth and Jeff looked at you in worrisome
"Uh- guys? Am I missing something?"
"What did they say?" Hopper asks you while he take a sip from his coffee
"They asked me if I was doing alright, but yeah- as always they're worried of course they're my parents but there's no more problem to deal with I assure you." You waved them all off
Eric, Gareth and Jeff nods at you
"How about the situation? Are they taking it fine?" Marlon asks as he shifts from his seat
You walk towards him "as long as I told them that I am doing well- that's enough for them- you don't have to worry about everything, Marlon. We're good." You assure him
Marlon nods at you as he releases a long sigh and somehow he feels relaxed about you and your parents are not mad about everything
Eddie scoots over to let you out a seat beside him and you sat next to him
Hopper goes to you and he saids that nothing will get charged for what you did and he already explained that over the phone to your parents and Jason will remain detained until his parents come over and he will get charged for the crimes that he has done
"I just really had enough of that, boy I don't know what his problem."
"I know right" Eddie slightly chuckles
"Don't flatter yourself, Munson."
Eddie gets nervous from his gaze until he tries to apologize but Hopper stops him
"I'm just kidding, Eddie" he laughed
"Oh" Eddie puts a hand over his chest as he thought that he might get into trouble and you laughed at the sight of him getting scared shitless infront of Hopper
"I got you there!" he continues to tease him even more
"Anyhow, rain check- I'll get going now- just call me whenever you need anything, okay?"
"Sure- chief" you nod at him and smile
"Just call me, Jim"
He waves to you and to everyone but before he gets out and you ran towards to him "Hey, Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you again for everything."
"Much obliged- and also could you look out for Munson for me?" He smirks teasingly and he looks at Eddie and he watches him gulp from his stare
You look back at Eddie and you giggled
"Sure, Jim, I keep an eye out for you."
He chuckles "Alright now, take care, Amanda."
"You too."
You watched him enters his car and gives a beep and you waved at him as he droves away
You walk towards back to your seat and Eddie says
"You're the only one who did that to Hopper"
"Did what?" you asked while you sat down beside him
He scoffed "for me? It would take years to gain his trust on me."
You laughed and Marlon says "it's because he has a instinct that if he sees someone he sensed that automatically that is a good person."
"Does that mean he doesn't sense anything to me?" Eddie asks as he watches Marlon stand up from his seat
"Yeah, because all of he can sense in you is that you're so despicable." Marlon replies with a smug on his face
You bursted out laughing so hard that you can feel your tears streaming down from your face
"Marlon, that's not cool" Eddie is highly offended as he grunts crossing his arms together
He laughs "I'm just messing with you, boy."
Eddie rolls his eyes to him with a smile coming out from his lips
"It's late all of you should go home now, I'll get cleaning and close the bar now."
You looked over your watch it says 1:30AM
"Oh, yeah sure, Marlon, take care."
"You too"
He waves bye to everyone and he exits the diner
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all of you stayed in there for a bit until everyone gets up walks outside saying goodbyes
Eric walks towards to you after he finished talking to Gareth and Jeff "are you sure you're okay?" he tries to study your face
you sigh "uh- Eric yeah I'm okay, thank you it was really nice to meet you." you nod and give him a reassuring smile
"Okay, well, if you say so, I'm glad, goodnight and take care." he pats your shoulder and give one last look and turns around to his car and give Eddie a wave, the three of you watch him as he droves away
"I gotta tell you, Amanda, that was so fucking badass you pulled off back there." Jeff elbows Gareth's stomach and he shrieked in pain
Jeff winks at you as he does the same trick you did at Eddie earlier and it made you laugh
"You deserve that shit, Gareth, so how are you? are you feeling well?" Jeff asks you while he holds both of your arms
You stare at him and he sees your gloom expression and that made him frown
You noticed him and you shake your head and you hold his arms "I'll be fine, Jeff, I promise." You pat his arms and he gives you a small smile
"I believe you, goodnight and take care." he says while pulling Gareth's arm still in pain as they both walk away
"Wait- guys don't you want a ride home?" Eddie offers as he watches both of his friends halts their tracks
Jeff and Gareth looks at you and back at Eddie
You already know what they're doing and you rolled your eyes and smirk at them
Gareth's grin turns bigger
Jeff snickers as he says "Nah- we're both good, man, we'll just wait for the bus, we still have more time."
Eddie's put his hand over his hips as he glares at you and darts his eyes back to his friends as he tries to understand the situation
But before he can say anything, Jeff and Gareth runs away from the both of you taking the opportunity that you and Eddie are both alone and that thought gives you shivers down to your spine
You can hear Gareth shouting out for you "Oh- take care, Amanda! You're the boss!"
You shake your head and you can hear them both laughing
Eddie's eyebrows raises up together as he finally realizes the situation
He turns to you and he smirks and he leans down as he tries to say something but you stopped him
"Ah- Ah!" You tut "before you can say anything, my parents let me to stay with you for the night."
Eddie stood there frozen still- in front of you as words got caught up on his own throat
"Oh my god, Eddie, come on before we can catch up a cold." You grabbed his hand and you both walked in his van
"You always leave me speechless" he shakes his head finally he's out of his trance
"Your friends are just being silly, Eds." you chuckled as he helped you get up at the passenger seat
you reaching out for the door to close it but he stops you and then he leans forward to you then he said
"Then why you asked your parents?"
"Because-"
"Because what?"
"Because.... I wanted to stay....with....You."
You say as you became shy under his gaze
"Oh"
"Oh- what?"
He purses his lips and he stares at you with loving eyes
You became even more nervous and you stutter "W-what is with you?"
"I think you know what it is." he lets out a smug smile and closes the door
You stare at the door, your hands turn cold as your eyes flicker in realization
"Oh no" you think to yourself "He knows what I feel for him" you swallowed nervously
He gets in the driver's seat and you can't even look at him
He notices your shifting in your seat and he says "fine- I'm not gonna tease you about it, I don't wanna see you upset again so- relax I'll behave." he gestures again to wear your seatbelt
You flash a shy smile on him as you put your seatbelt
The drive to his trailer was comforting as always, it never have been weird for you and it drives you crazy how much this feels all too good for you
The way that both of you can spend the time without talking to each other and it sends you to a emotional rollercoaster at the thought of it
You wanna confess your feelings on him right now at this very moment but it feels too soon and you knew ever since the first day, he likes you...
But you didn't know that his feelings are deeper than that, he wants to spend his life with you and he can't imagine himself living his life without you, he can't function with you on his side.... he doesn't just like you... he's head over heels for you...
The moment you arrived at his trailer, curiosity sparks up in your eyes as you look around his neighborhood
"It's not much else to see but it's home" he says as he looks at you while your eyes roaming around the place
"It's a pleasant home, Eds." You look at him and give him a loving smile
Eddie notice your eyes that he hasn't seen before- he knows it, he knows that you also love him but he doesn't wanna force you to confess right now... but after he saw what's in your eyes- he can't believe someone like you would love him....
Eddie The Gentleman as always he helps you get out of his van and you both entered his home
You walked on first and you take a look around and you felt buoyant at the sight of it
"It's feels like home just like him" you think to yourself
Eddie closes the door behind him and he put his arm over your shoulders and you let yourself rest on them
"You like my home, huh?" He leans down at you
"Yeah, I do"
"Well, my darling, I'm delighted to have you here."
He walks over the kitchen and you shudder from his words "My darling"
"Do you want something to drink?" as he grabs a glass of water for himself
"Oh, yes please."
He grabs another one for you and he pours water in your glass
You drank up the whole thing and you keep yourself calm and you don't know why you're freaking out inside maybe it's because this is all too much for you
Of course- he always notices your movements so he scratches the back of his head and he says
"I'll give you my room, you could sleep in there and I'll be on the couch."
He shrugs as he finishes his glass of water and puts it down on the sink
Before you could protest- he already lets out a fresh new pair of clothes from him, an old queen bandshirt and a bottom pajama and clean boxers
He gives it to you and he gestures his bedroom for you to change in your clothes
"Eddie- no please I'll sleep-"
He closes your mouth and he says "Stop talking, go on and get change, you're my guest and I want you to be comfortable and it's getting late I don't want you to have an headache in the morning."
You sigh in defeat and you follow what he asks you to do and you close the door of his bedroom and your eyes flashes with astonishment
You looked everywhere in every inch of his room and you put down the clothes that he's given you in his bed without looking
A big Corroded Coffin banner at the top of his bed, you can tell that he styled his room on his own because of how uniquely it's been made and you've never seen anything like it, his clothes are pilled up messily that made you giggle because it's so him
Band posters are everywhere, guitar chords sheets are on the bedside table, you hint the smell of his cologne that you inhale so much that you didn't know that you're doing it more than once
You saw all of his sketches in a pieces of paper that scattered in the floor and you picked it up and you admire his talent in drawing, Marlon was right he is indeed a true artist
and it makes you wonder why
why people are so mean to him and scared of him?
"My boy is harmless" you think to yourself
and you think again realizing what you just said in your head
"My boy"
You shake your head to pull yourself out of your thoughts as you quickly get off with your clothes
Once you're on with his clothes and you can't help but hug yourself of the warmth that it gives you
You remove your hairstyle, accessories and you brush your hair and you wipe off the dirt of your face using a makeup remover that you always bring in with you just in case...
A sudden knock on the door that it made you yelp and he chuckles "Sorry, love, I didn't meant to scare you."
"Can he please stop calling me with these names?" You think to yourself you're falling for him even harder than before
You walk towards the door and you open it and you saw he already change in his clothes and you noticed the look from his eyes as he saw you in his clothes
He stares at you slowly from up and down, you're wearing his old queen bandshirt and his old bottom pajamas, he tugs out a smile and he looks up at you
"You looked so good in my clothes." He thought to himself
You flushed at his gaze and you asked "uh- what is it, Eddie?"
"oh- right, I have a spare of new toothbrush here, there's the bathroom right over there on the side." He points out the direction
"Okay, thank you." You peek your head out from the door and you nod- but before you close the door he holds it and he says
"and also I wanted to check on you, if you're doing fine."
"Eddie, I can't thank you enough for this, that's all that I can say." You slightly giggle and you smiled
"I am relieved that you feel at home, I'll be over on the couch if you need anything."
"Alright, Eddie, goodnight."
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
You sat down on his bed for a minute and then you get up to brush your teeth in the bathroom
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You open the door and Eddie heard you walking out- he's on his blanket scribbling on his sketch book on his lap
You walked passed on him and you give him a shy smile and he looks back up at you and he smiles back
Eddie wanted to say something to you and he closes his sketch book and throw it on the coffee table
"you gotta tell her right now" he thinks to himself "it's now or never"
He heard you turning off the faucet in the bathroom and you walked outside the bathroom
He watches you passed on him but you stop and turn around
"hey"
"hey"
You both laughed off that you're so in synch to say something to each other
You facepalm yourself and Eddie gets out from his couch and you walked towards him
"no- you're good, you go ahead." Eddie says as he looks at you
"is your Uncle home?"
"No, he works at late night shifts but he'll be back in the morning."
"Oh, okay, so- uh- I see you in the morning then."
You smile and walk away from him but before you could do that
He pulled you into a hug
You gasped while you put your hands over his chest and you hug him back
Eddie rest his head on your shoulder and you remove your hands from his chest and you let yourself rest on it
You can hear how fast his heartbeat is and your heart does the same
You and Eddie remained hugging to each other for a moment until he can feel you resisting yourself from him and he can't understand why but he brushes off that thought
"We should get some rest now." Eddie still holding your arms
"Yeah" he caresses his thumb while he holds your arms and give it a last squeeze and he finally let go
You smile and you turn away from him walking back to his room and you close the door
Eddie groans in frustration as he puts his hands above his head "you're so dumb" he mumbles to himself laying down on the couch aggressively pulling up his blanket to him, he can't bring himself to say it right in front of you and he's annoyed by it
You lay down on his bed and it's the perfect bed that you ever laid on and you sigh of how it relaxes your back and you snuggle while you pull up the blankets to you
You close off the lamp and you stare at the ceiling thinking-
It's insane how Eddie removes your thoughts out of your head like you couldn't remember the incident earlier
Your trembling is gone from your body and you're not worrying anymore, you feel at peace and you've never experienced this before
You smile and you can feel your eyes closing in as you drift away from your sleep
-
You woke up gleaming like nothing happened last night, you saw the clock it says 6:15am and you removed the blankets off from you and you stretch your arms out and you get up and walk towards the door
But before you can open it all the way you slowly turn the doorknob quietly and you peek your head out and you can hear soft snores from Eddie he is still asleep
You saw him still in his slumber with his one arm placing on the forehead and his hand rests on his chest and you can see him breathing up and down
You admire him from afar and you turn around walk inside of his kitchen and you open the fridge there's bread, butter, eggs and on the freezer, there's bacon
You grab all of those out and put it on the table, you're very careful on how you move not making any sound as possible so you won't wake up Eddie
You washed your hands first and dry it with a paper towel
You placed a pan on the stove and you turn it on, you wait for it to get hot and once it's warm enough- you grab a butter knife in the drawer and then slice the butter and you put it on the pan...
You wait for it to melt- you look for a bowl in the countertops and you crack open three eggs cause you remember Wayne might get home anytime soon...
You seasoned it with salt and pepper and you pour it down on the pan and it starts to sizzle
You hear the couch creaks and you frozen stiff and you look back slowly and you saw him just turn into other side and you sigh in relief
You continue cooking all of it and you prepare three plates with utensils and you place the foods using a spatula
After that you place the used kitchenware on the sink and you wash it
You also made coffee right on time that you heard Wayne's footsteps on the front door
He opens the door, he weary sighs as he removes his boots, he doesn't saw you there yet in the kitchen until he smells the aroma of food that place upon the table
He turns around and his eyes in shock and clears his throat "woah- goodmorning, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."
You waved to him with a sheepish grin "H- hello, goodmorning to you too, Mr. Munson."
He jokingly nauseated at your response and he sits down on the table "you don't have to be nervous around me, please, call me, Wayne."
You giggled "Okay, Wayne, I made us a breakfast, I hope you don't mind."
"You really don't have to do this but thank you for the kind gesture." He says as he eats up
He hums while he chews his food "this is phenomenal." you snort "it's just bread, eggs and bacon." while you place a mug infront of him and pouring the freshly made black coffee
"You cook better than him- you cooked all of them just the way that I like, it's compliment, doll, take it." He says as he shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth
You chuckled and you shake your head while you're holding your mug with coffee as you sat down on the other side of the table
But before you can eat, you look back at Eddie still asleep and you're thinking you should wake him up because you might be late for school
Wayne saw it and he says "He doesn't get up until 8am."
"Oh- should I wake him up? his food might get cold."
"He'll be waking up anytime, you should eat"
"Hmmm, okay" you say as you ate your buttered bread
while he finishes up his plate he says "So, what brings you here?"
You hesitantly respond to his question and you hear the couch creaking again and you look back up and you can see his eyes slowly fluttering open and it widens as he remembers that you're with him- he quickly sats down on the edge of the couch and you look at the kitchen and he you and Wayne already eating breakfast
"Slow down, Eddie I'm okay, I made you a breakfast." You chuckled you gesture him to sit down
"Oh-" he says as he sees Wayne raising an eyebrow at him as a sign for him to talk and explain why are you with him- not that he doesn't like having guests at his home but he just wants to know the reason why
He sats down beside you and he grabs the utensils and eats up, you slowly move his mug with coffee in it and he nods and he says "thank you" softly
"So again, Amanda, I ask you, what are you doing in here?" Wayne asks as he crosses his hands
You blinked "you- you knew my name?"
"Eddie told me about you since the first day you came and now I know the reason why he's been acting weird lately."
Eddie flustered while he ates his piece of bacon as he almost spits it out from his mouth
Wayne's eyes tears away from you as he glares at Eddie "Hey, can you please answer me? son?"
Eddie grab his mug and drinks his coffee he looks at you for permission and you look back up at him and you nod
"She wants to come home with me just for the night because she almost-
Eddie didn't want to go on into full details as he starts to remember how bad you look yesterday and he doesn't want that to happen again
You hold his hand and you intertwined your fingers to him and he does the same- telling him that at you're okay for him to continue
"She almost got kidnapped by Jason with his asshole friends." Eddie's jaw clenched as the scene starts replaying in his head
Wayne uncrosses his hands and he looks back at you in concern and he frown
"Oh my god, are you alright?!? I'm sorry I didn't mean to-
Eddie cuts him off by saying "She's alright, Wayne, she defended herself, she hits Jason with a wood that it's heavy enough to knock him out and she even hits the legs some of his friends." He grins
You smirk and you look back at Wayne as he shifts into his seat he looks back down he felt uneasy to look back up to you- but you hold his hand "it's okay, Wayne, I know you're just worried about your nephew, but we're good."
Wayne looks back up to you with his lips apart after hearing what Eddie just said "Don't you mess with her, boy she might do the same thing with you." he chuckles
Eddie shifts his seat and tries to act cool but you always notice it and it makes you laugh
"I doubt it, Wayne, I would never do such a thing."
"Yeah, I know, but sometimes you're stupid."
"Well, I am not!"
"Uh- yes you are!"
"Okay, fine, what's your proof?!"
You continue to listen to their argument with a smirk on your face while you lean back down on your seat as you eat your breakfast
"Then why haven't you asked her out again?!?"
You stopped chewing and Eddie became silent
Wayne looks at you both with a smug smile on his face
"AHA!" he exclaimed startling you both "the feeling is mutual! I can see it in your faces!" he says as he gestures his finger to the both of your faces
Eddie suddenly went shy but you ignore your reddening cheeks as you get up and quickly pick up the plates and utensils "we might be late for school." You say as you walk away from the table heading towards back to the kitchen and you place all the dirty dishes down on the sink as you begin to wash them
"Don't change the subject, doll" Wayne says the smirk is still there on his face
You stop what you're doing to look back at him with a warning look and he puts his hands up in surrender and you giggled and you continue to wash the dishes, he looks back to his nephew
"She really got you hard, huh." Wayne smirks
"Stop it, man" Eddie rolled his eyes playfully with a smile coming out to the sides of his lips
"You better act up sooner or later, I like her for you." He says as he rest his back on his chair
Eddie eyes light up to what his uncle just told him and he says
"I will, but"
"but what"
Eddie sighs "I just don't want her to be pressured of her own feelings just because I forced her out of it." He pauses
"I can feel that she likes me but I can also feel that she is afraid of her own feelings and she's scared that I might hurt her or anything that she is worried of but- I'll just wait for her and I can wait." Eddie says with a hopeful smile
Wayne smiles and almost teared up that he is proud of himself that he's upbringing for taking care of Eddie as a child shines through with him, he works hard enough just to give what he deserves after his parents got divorced, Eddie had a trouble to get comfortable around Wayne's home but he tries his best to make not him feel that way, he really is a good kid even sometimes he can't stand his nephew... All of the people are talking about him- he knows that it isn't in his nature to do stuff things like that... He trusts him with his whole heart and he believes that he won't ever harm you and he is sure about it
"She'll come around soon, Eddie, I know it." He holds Eddie's shoulder and gives assuring tap
Eddie smiles back to his uncle
After you finished cleaning and wiping the table with a damp rug, Wayne asks if Marlon was okay and he knows that you are aware of their friendship and you say that he's doing fine and he is very nice to you and he smiles back to you...
"I should check on him sometime, it's been a while since I talked to him." Wayne says
"Oh- you should! he is very sweet."
"Well- of course he is! I thought him how to be a gentleman around girls." He huffed
You chuckled and you suddenly have a thought that he's the reason why Eddie is so gentle with you and understanding...
"You're a fine man, Wayne." Eddie says while walking passed to the both of you
Wayne smacked Eddie's forehead and he shouts in pain and you laughed
"I'm gonna get some sleep, take care and keep kicking butts who deserves it." He says jokingly to you and he unexpectedly hugged you and you hug him back
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He takes a look at you once last time and he smiled as he walks inside to his room
After you finished taking a shower and you walked towards to his room and you saw him in there- he looked around and saw you standing in there in the doorway only wearing a towel that is so short for you to cover enough your bare legs and your hair dripping wet
He blushed and he clears his throat "I-I'm sorry my bad, I didn't meant to stare at you, I'll leave." he quickly walks away from his room
You always bought an emergency pouch on your bag for your needs, a shampoo, soap and a lotion and extra undergarments
as he walks away he smelt the vanilla from your skin and a touch of lavender in your hair, and your sweet scent coming for your lotion that you lather yourself after you finished taking a shower and he groaned and you close the door still in shock that he saw you only in his towel
You saw in his bed a fresh new pair of hellfire club shirt and a pair of old denim shorts- you thought it was meant for him but it wasn't- you saw him holding a pair clothes as you watch him walked outside of his room
You smile as you put on the clothes that he lay out for you- it was a little big for you but you didn't mind and it almost looks like you're not wearing underneath so you tuck in a little bit of the shirt on your denim shorts and you styled it to make it look decent and fashionable once you satisfied you put on a little bit of makeup and you tie your hair into two low pigtails you walked outside and you saw him fixing his hair
You can smell his perfume and his aftershave and his wearing his usual bandshirts but this time it's a DIO black bandshirt and he wears a worn out ripped jeans and you can hear his belt chain dangling while he moves to even out his hair
"God, he smells so good." You think to yourself
He sees you in the reflection and he smiled
"You're ready?"
"Yeah"
he turns to look at you and he scans you from up to down and the light outside gives a shimmer to your bare legs and he can't remove his eyes away from it as he tries to look back up to you finally
"yo- you look terrific" that's the only the thing he can say and he closes his eyes in annoyance
You chuckled"you look terrific as well, Eds" you say as you walk closer to him and while you play with his hair
His eyes flicker from your eyes and lips he leans down and your heart stopped to what he's about to do only by interrupted by Max
You didn't knew that they're neighbors and Eddie sighs as he forgot to tell you about that
"Hey, Eddie can I- oh shoot- I'm sorry" she smirks to see you and Eddie almost kissed
He grunts in frustration and he shakes his head and he glares back to the redhead kid "What do you want, red?"
You giggled and you walk towards to Max in the doorway- she eyes you from up and down and she knows that your clothes is not yours- it's from Eddie- and she gives you a knowing look
and your eyes widen "Oh my- Max it's not like that!"
"Uh huh- that's what she said." she says to you teasingly and darts her eyes back to Eddie about to blow up from anger
"Alright- my bike broke down and I don't have a ride to come to school so- I was thinking maybe just for temporary of course!"
Eddie put his hands over his hips as he exhales from his fueling anger
"Okay, fine, just for today okay?" He says and you know he has a soft spot for the friends that he have he may acts very mean to them but he cares so much for them
The three of you get inside of the van and Eddie starts up the engine and Max pinches your shoulder and you look back up at her grinning as she gestures at you to come and talk to her
You look back at Eddie and he annoyingly nods for you to go and you chuckled you make a quick kiss to his cheeks and you can't stop yourself for doing that and he smiles as he starts to drive
You and Max headed at the back of the van and her eyes flicker in curiosity
"I didn't know you had a thing with Eddie." she smirks
"We're not together so-"
"What?! then- what are you doing back there?!? and in his trailer?!? and in his clothes?!"
You snort at her rambling "it's a very long story"
Eddie looks at you in the rearview mirror and he spoke "Something happened in The Hideout last night, Mayfield."
After Max heard his voice in a serious tone she looks at you in concern and her face drops as she saw the pain in your eyes
"Tell me" she starts as she holds your hands "Please- Tell me what happened."
You look at her in the eyes and you can see that she's genuine to understand you and you look back at Eddie in the rearview mirror and he nods at you
You look back down and you take a deep breath and you tell her everything that happened last night
"Oh- so that's why you stayed with him for the night?" she says
You nod at her
"Now I know why I liked you in the first place."
You giggled "Yeah, I feel the same way as well."
"Are you doing alright after what happened?"
"Yeah, Eddie helped me out a lot and his friends are very thoughtful." your eyes went radiating that Max hasn't seen before and she knows that look
"Have you told him yet?"
"Told him what?"
"You know what I'm talking about"
"Oh"
Your expression went down from worrying as she furrows her brows at you in confusion
"Did he did something wrong?"
"What?!- No! God no-"
"Then what seems to be the problem?"
"I'm just afraid to admit it... that's all."
Judging by the tone of your voice she completely understands why you feel like this way as she sees herself in the same position before
"I know how you feel"
"You do?"
"I do" she starts "I tried to push away Lucas from me as I dealt with my own problems before and he keeps telling me that his there for me to help me and I couldn't let myself to-
"Be a burden" you cut her off
"Yeah- to be a burden from him until I realized that he was right- it was wrong for me to push the people that truly cares for you and especially that loves you."
That one last sentence hits you as you take a look at Eddie in the rearview mirror and he's already staring at you and he looks back on the road
You turn to look back at Max
"I let down my pride and here we are now as happy as a clam." She chuckles slightly
You smiled at her and you asked "Was it scary?"
"What was scary?"
"To trust?"
"Yeah- it was- but Lucas is always been there for me and I just neglected it for a long time and yeah I hate myself for it but he understands why I did it because it was hard for me to cope up at that time, my stepbrother passed and we didn't have enough time to talk about the things that I wanted to say to him and our relationship was tough- my bestfriend was in California and I didn't have anyone else to lean on except Lucas who I keep pushing away until I realized the one that I've been looking for this whole time was right in front of me."
You eyes flicker back towards to a Eddie as her words hit you right into your chest
She tightens your grip on your hands and she leans forward closer to you
"I may only knew Eddie last year but I can tell that he truly and deeply cares for you and he always wants to be there for you." she paused
You nod at her while you blink away the tears
"You gotta let go of your thoughts and just open your arms and heart to anyone who is dying to help you and you don't have to afraid and if you feel the same way that he does and then you got nothing to be scared of." she says while she flashes out a sweet smile to you
Eddie parked the van and turns off the engine and he gets up and walked towards to you and Max
Eddie notice the melancholy expression from your face and he turn his head to Max as he say "What did you do?"
"None of your business! Munson! It's a girl talk!" she gets up pulling your hand with her and she opens the door and both go back down and you wave to Eddie reassuring that you're fine
Eddie doesn't buy it but he'll know all about it soon
Max looks for Lucas and she saw him in the school entrance and he waved back up to her
"Remember what I told you, okay? you'll be fine" she embraces you in a tight warm hug and you hug her back "Thank you, Max" you say softly behind her ear
"You're welcome!" she looks at Eddie with a suspicious expression written across his face as he glares at Max
"Don't break her heart, Munson! or else we both beat you up!"
You bursted out laughing and you can see Eddie shifts uncomfortably and he shakes his head
"Huh- I assure you, Red, that won't happen."
"We'll see about that!" Max says as she winks at you and she run towards to Lucas who waits for with open arms as they embrace to each other into a hug
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Eddie's snakes his hand through yours and you squealed
"Don't worry, darling, it's just me" he says as you look back and you smirked
you both walked towards to school and he asks
"Did he hug you?"
"Did who?"
"Wayne?"
"Uh- yeah he did- wait how'd you know?"
"I saw it you know after he smacked my forehead" he says with a teasing tone and you laughed
"Is there a problem with that?"
"No, nothing at all" he paused "Wayne never hugs anyone else unless he felt or sees something in you."
"Like what?"
"a trustworthy person"
"Oh"
"that means you're a part of the Munson now."
"part of the family?"
"Yeah"
You smile became even more bigger and he does the same thing as he says "I knew that my guts were right since the beginning."
"Well, I'm very honored to be a part of your life."
Eddie eyes widens to your words that you spoken to him
"She wants to spend the rest of her life with me?" He thinks to himself
He blushes under your gaze and you snickered beside him nudging his arm teasingly
You didn't even saw that Dustin and Mike are running towards you as they both hugged you that you almost fell down on the ground
"It's literally 7-fucking-am in the morning! She almost went down on the ground!" Eddie howled as he watches the two buys remove themselves with you
"They're just worried, Eddie, it's fine I didn't get hurt I'm just- surprised." You slightly chuckled
"No- it's not fine! what if your head got hit?!? what if your skin get scratched on the ground?!?" he says as he smacks Dustin's head back causing Mike to get nervous
You've never seen him this angry, you never saw the fire that's coming out in his eyes
He became possessive to you and you can tell by the tone of his voice
You placed your hands on his shoulders and he suddenly calms down at your touch and you feel butterflies on your stomach at the thought of- only you can do that to him
"Eddie, nothing happened to me and you know exactly why they approach me like that."
He sighs and he shows you a small smile and he apologizes to Dustin and Mike for his fuming behavior- the kids reassures him that it was okay and they understand it
But before Dustin and Mike can talk to you Steve and Robin appears out of nowhere behind your back as Steve hugs you tightly that your reflexes automatically pushed him way too far and he's the one who ended on the ground without realizing that was your bestfriend
"Oh- for heaven's sake! Steve!" You help him get up grabbing his hand and you pulled him back for a hug
"I'm sorry- I shouldn't sneak you up from behind"
"Steve- it's okay."
"We came as soon as we heard about the news!" Robin says as she shows you a shit eating grin and you taken a back of what she's about to do- you remove yourself from Steve as he holds your hand
She recalls the story again and she becoming even more frenzied when she tells the part where you beat them all up
You facepalm and you giggled but there's a confused look coming out of your face as to why they already knew about everything what happened last night
Ignoring Robin's outburst of energy "What the fuck is going on?! We didn't told anyone about this other than, Max!" Eddie says with a demented expression
Jeff and Gareth shyly waving to you and Eddie- leaning their back in the locker
You rip your hand away from Steve and you suddenly became furious to them as you began to ruffle up your sleeves and Eddie watches you with a smirk on his face as he mouths to his friends "You're all going to die!"
"Oh shit"
"We gotta run"
You watch them both almost tripping as they rushed themselves away from you
Even they're already far away you can still see their smug faces
"I knew it- I should've kept my mouth shut" Robin says as she regret her actions earlier
You turn to look at her and said "No-
"You did nothing wrong, Robin" you show her a reassuring smile but Robin is still dubious to believe it until you groan and walk over to her and hug her to make it more convincing that you're not mad at her
You pulled back when you saw Lucas and Max glances at you
You can see that Max told everything to Lucas and you watch as he began to shift from where he standing
Lucas looked at you with a shock expression and then it becomes distraught
Max flashes you a tender smile
You smile back at her until Eddie yells who's the one who started this all of this
You sigh and walk back to his side as you're trying to restrain a laugh when you watch him acting like a parent reprimanding his children
"Jeff and Gareth told us everything and as a good person since I knew Steve that Amanda means so much to him so after they finished the whole thing, I quickly ran as fast I can to the nearest payphone outside-
"and we're here." Steve finishes him off
Dustin gestures to Steve
Eddie rubs his eyes as he turns to look at you "Well- The cat is out of the bag, I'm so sorry about this, Sweetheart." he says with a empathetic tone
You stare at him for a moment not knowing what to say
Everyone looks at you and they assume that you'll get mad at them but you didn't which means all of the talks in school doesn't apply to you at all and everything they say- they've never seen a single thing that proves that they're right....
"Look, uh- guys, I don't know what to say, I've never had any friends before other than-
You glance at Steve who showed you a soft smile
Your eyes flicker to him with gratitude- you continue to talk and you point out to Steve
"I just wanna say thank you for all the concern, I really appreciate it." You smile shyly
and they walked over to you one by one and you didn't expect all of them to give you a hug
You haven't felt any halfhearted coming out from them- you can tell that they're very genuine about it and that really surprises you because they hardly even know you yet but they treat you like you've been friends for years....
Dustin and Mike apologizes to you and they even say that you should punish them for spreading a traumatic event that happened to you last night and you cackled instead of listening to their ramblings you hug them once again and that of course convinced them
Jeff and Gareth are the only ones who need punishment not them- but still- at the same time you can't blame them- they literally have no idea of who you are except that you're being a Jones and being Steve's childhood bestfriend and a girl who transferred to a lot of different school's- that's it
as much you want to see Eddie's bandmates to suffer- you'll let your boiling anger aside
"God- That must've been so scary, Amanda, I know you're tough but I didn't know that you we're that tough." Lucas he says nervously with a slight chuckle
You can tell that he's not making you feel pity but your heart sanks as your brain keep telling you about the things are not real- it's your own insecurity that you need to get fixed and you know that it has to be over or you live miserable for the rest of your life
"They're just like the rest of them don't trust them." Your own voice echoing inside of your head
Lucas noticed your sudden bemusedly face
"Amanda? are you alright?"
Lucas voiced snapped out of your thoughts as you nod aggressively
"So, how's been going with Eddie?"
"It's been real great"
"I didn't know that you guys are dating"
"Wait- what- no we're not Sinclair." you chuckled
"Oh- come on! everybody knows that you two are the perfect match." He says with a grin
You rolled your eyes at him playfully but with a fond smile coming out of them
"Max- can you get your boyfriend away from me please?"
Lucas put his hands up in surrender as he thought Max is going to lecture him until he saw Max smirks at you
You burrow your eyebrows together
"You're an idiot" she plainly said
Lucas bursted out laughing- Max looks over to her boyfriend as she says "This is the only time that you're right."
"Truer words were never spoken" Lucas winks at you teasingly
You groan at them as you said "I thought all of the schools I've left are the worst! This school is the menace!" You scream while putting your hand over the top of your head causing the two to laugh even harder than they use to-
You step aside from them as you annoyingly sigh from their teasing and you think this might take awhile....They didn't know that it's true...you do have a thing for him since the first day... you're just scared to admit your feelings and open your heart again... you take a glimpse at Eddie who is already staring at you...He knows... and you tear your away from him as you feel a knot in your stomach... You don't want to hurt him but you also don't want leading him on like this...
Eddie can't help but to look at you as he hopes that this is not just a one-sided love, he can't even imagine himself fall in love... Alone...
He knows that he mustn't think like that about you...He wants to understand you so badly but sometimes his own negative thoughts are winning on his mind as he thinks that you want someone else... But he is certain that you only have eyes for him...
Will you be there when he confesses his feelings for you? or you will just live in fear?
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pumpkinstep · 1 year ago
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I'm just sad
I did a lot to change myself and improve. when I became homeless and free from my abusive family situation, I ended up in a group of guys who stayed at a youth shelter.
I told my bf, I'll call him B, what was up with me. I was desperate for connections and pandered a lot to get attention. I did a lot of attention seeking behavior but made it known I wasn't really serious or into them.
This guy stalked me a little bit, knew I was mentally and emotionally unstable and claimed me as family when I went on a tirade about how much I hate a commonly disliked asshole at the shelter.
it was obvious I wasn't in the right headspace to make clear rational decisions, I was crying all the time, visibly distressed, hardly eating and breaking down constantly. I told him I felt like I was stuck mentally at 16.
at the time I was still working, making 15hr and working full time. that's pretty good money
well he quit his job to try another one out and completely dropped the ball on it, so I helped him out. I gave him a weekly allowance and helped him get stuff he needed.
I even helped him get a place to stay, paying for his rent until I couldn't anymore. He let me stay sometimes and practically begged to hang out with me when I wasn't working.
then he freaks out one day because he thinks his long. distance gf dumped him and let's our friendship cross over more into the With benefits territory, (despite him adamantly claiming he would kill himself if he ever cheated. note that we've been hella handsy up to this point despite that.)
throughout our relationship, I've been shouldering all of the responsibility of keeping it running, always engaging in the things he likes, helping him out when he's distressed, cleaning and cleaning up after him. I did the chores and finances.
we started living together full time when covid hit and he had a job by that point and I didn't.
I felt trapped in the house and he kept me like a pet. only engaging with me when it was convient and making a big fuss about me going outside, (this was before lockdown.)
I genuinely feel like I've gotten more stupid by being around him for so long.
after a while I got fed up and stopped reaching out because he just doesn't meet me in the middle, he doesn't engage and he doesn't go out of his ways to do things outside of the bare minimum.
after I pulled away to give him space to step up on his own, he just never did and now there's hardly anything between us. I feel like I'm dragging him along and it sucks and it never feels like he's actually trying to improve.
he treats me like a mother figure and I hate it so much.
I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I went through our discord to delete old messages cause I felt haunted by my cringey behavior. after reading through the old stuff, I realized he just sucks all the way around.
I confronted him on this and he confessed he was just using me back then and that he forgot.
I've been pretty upset about it since and even turned down a potential friendship because no one likes me unless I'm useful and I'm mad I let myself get so soft.
I'm disabled and no one can live alone in this economy so I'm forced to stay in a relationship with him. especially since he's made it very clear that he's the suicidal type when it comes to break ups.
it fucking sucks and I've pretty much closed myself off emotionally to new friendships or engaging with people in a serious way. the one time I open up and try to be a better person, someone stabs my squishy bits. how fucked up is that?
I don't love him. not anymore. and it angers me that he has the audacity to still say I love you and expects me to respond positively everyday.
he says he's trying to improve but then says he wants to spend time with me only to ignore me and get annoyed when I bother him.
I told him that I'm going to leave him the moment I can take care of myself if he doesn't get his shit together.
I know I shouldn't put too much blame on myself but I can't help but feel like I must have had brain damage to fall so low.
I guess I was blinded by my need for validation and shelter
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happychappy · 1 year ago
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She just told me that her course friend kept being fucking touchy today. Slapping her ass, cuddling her, kissing her fucking head. I can’t help but feel…RED. I feel so fucking possessive I’m so scared I might hurt her. It’s even worse because I used to be insecure about them together but she reassured me. Hearing that…I want to rip her friend’s head off fr. And then she told me that her friend wanted to hookup with her other friend? Like CLEARLY she’d want to get with MY fucking gf too. All those fucking signs and she still has the nerve to say “No ShE woUlD NeVeR hOoKuP wIth Me” ah FUCKARPPP don’t act dumb bro 🧍and then she says “also, her bf will be at the party” but like what the fuck is the difference if she said it about Kiyanou? Make it make fucking sense. All I can think about is claiming her in front of that whole fucking party now. Just fucking her right in front of her friend’s fucking face. Making eye contact with her friend while my fingers are inside her, her juices dripping from her pussy. Like fuck off bro. Don’t touch what’s not fucking yours you hoe motherfucker. I feel such a fucking rage right now I literally just wanted to rip my room apart. What the fuck. I HATE this feeling. Why can’t I be normal? I just want to put a leash on my gf. Give her hickies everywhere. Put handprints on her ass. I want to just mark her. She’s too fucking SEXY. WHY?! Why the fuck does she have to look so fucking good all the fucking time? Why does she have to draw everyone’s attention to her? Why can’t she be like me? My jealousy issues are a lot worse than I thought. It’s like literally any time she gets a smidge of attention from someone else, I shut down and fucking go cry baby. Like fuck up. Just accept that she was born like that and go on your merry way. She can’t control what other people fucking do bro. Oh that’s also why I’m mad. When she was explaining what she was doing when her friend was being a fucking whore, it didn’t seem genuine. Like she didn’t mind it. Where’s the “fuck off bro”? Where’s the getting angry and pushing her away and screaming? No. Just a “stop 😐” NOT ENOUGH FOR FUCKS SAKE. If you liked it then just fucking say that. She said she was into “nonconsensual consent” too 🧍 she’s right next to me and I miss her so much. But I still feel possessive and I don’t want to hurt her. I feel so empty rn bro. I want to cry HAHAHA after such a good night, it had to end like this. Sophia, if you’re fucking reading this…you’ve betrayed me 🧍 even knowing how my trust issues are. Don’t fucking do it again. I promise I’ll literally break up with you over this reason alone. This is a test of trust
So…I’ve been thinking for a pretty long time now. I was making myself more mad just thinking about it. Finding things to get more upset about, to the point where when I closed my eyes, I tried to think about what makes me truly happy and content. First it was my gf, but then I saw her and Amahre and got fucked off. Then I thought about killing Amahre…it felt good. So I started thinking about killing everyone else that ever even simply looked at my gf and I felt satisfied for a while. Then I started thinking…is this worth it? Is this really what our relationship should be like? My baby does so much for me, and I love her so much. Am I really gonna be upset at her about something she couldn’t control? She’s been working so fucking hard today to pull off her amazing performance, and then I end the day being a shitty gf. That’s not how I want it to be. My mood swings are getting too much for me, it’s fucking pissing me off. She doesn’t deserve that at all. I started thinking about all the things she’s said to me, when she’d reassure me or when she’d be there for me. No. She deserves the world and my fucking trust issues are getting in the way of that. I’m going to start trusting her now. If she hurts me, then she hurts me. And we’ll break up. But for now, I’ll trust her for real this time. She fucking belongs to me and no one else, I just have to understand that. I’m the one that gets to hold her, kiss her, love her, fuck her, grow with her, learn with her, experience life with her. I could not be any more lucky than this.
Also…I kept imagining fucking her and I’d say things like “When you cum, I want to hear my name come out of your slutty mouth. You’re gonna cum for me, and only me. Open your fucking mouth and say who you belong to.” And I’d imagine exactly how she’d sound…that made me happy for a while too. I’d also slap her ass and tell her that if anyone else fucking does that to her, you tell them to fuck off and think of me. “If anyone touches you, you think of this moment where I’m fucking you til you only know my name. My hands. My voice. Me.” I don’t know how my brain is so fucking good at talking, but I’m a quiet little bitch when it comes to real life 🧍 I swear in my head, I’m such a good talker. I’m just too insecure to say it out loud. BOOOORIIIINGGGG
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