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soraontop · 4 months

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II. I WON’T SAY (I’M IN LOVE)

title i won’t say (i’m in love)

summary it’s that first “oh. oh.” moment for sora. chapter 2 to ‘10 things i hate about you’ series

genre fluff, angst, slice of life ???

characters jung sora (8th female member oc of enhypen), jake sim, brief cameos of other enhypen members xx

warnings poly ot7 enhypen au with 8th female member. sora is difficult and emotionally stunted. feelings realization. implications of sora’s not so great home life.

words 3,033

note sorry im a professional procrastinator thats why it took forever 😭 this just isnt my only focus sjfndjd i focus on so many things at once lmao. anyways, pls let me know what u guys think and if theres anything yall wanna see ?? like in the past or present time !!

PREVIOUS.

ISEULLIE: sora check out this video LOL it’s hilarious

ISEULLIE: [link]

Sora stares down at her phone, the YouTube video thumbnail staring back up at her. scorpioz being scorpioz, the title said with the thumbnail saying ‘sorajake being sorajake’. Her brows furrow, eyes darting between the picture of her and Jake mid-laugh, staring at one another over the heads of the other boys.

She curiously clicks the link, and it’s a matter of fifteen seconds before she’s giggling at her phone. She never responds to Iseul until later. In her head, she can’t even hear the bustling noise of Jay making lunch for the group and her members shouts— not that she paid much mind to it, anyway. She grew up as the only girl in a family full of boys, she could typically deal with the noise. The video sends her into a whole new world of Engene made videos of the group, mostly watching the ones concerning her. Almost every video she watches includes Jake. A lot.

She’s never realized how much she really talks to or about Jake. Yes, she’s thought about the ‘what if?’ question that Jake was never in her life and how she’d deal without him. (Her answer: She couldn’t.) But for there to be so many parts to a video series titled “Reasons to Ship JakeSora” was a bit ridiculous.

A knock on her door interrupts her watching, making her sit up in shock before she quickly swipes out of the app and clears her throat, glancing around her room for anything out of place— as if that would tell on her for watching fan made videos of her and her members. Oh, she thinks she’d genuinely die if she was caught. She can never do that again.

“Come in,” she says, hoping the person behind the door wouldn’t notice the waver in her voice. The knob turns and the door opens, revealing Jake standing with a cup of steaming hot ramen in hand. She blinks. Speak of the devil …

Jake grins that stupid crooked smile, kicking the door shut behind him gently. “You haven’t eaten all day, are you going on strike?” Amusement shines in his eyes and she rolls her eyes, an automatic response at this point. He’s almost as bad as Sunghoon, she swears. He holds out the ramen and a pair of chopsticks to her.

“Just too lazy to get up,” she manages to bite back a grin as her lips threaten to twitch. She takes it carefully, blowing on it gently and looks up at the older boy. “Thank you.” She tries not to spit the words out as if they’re poison, but old habits die hard.

Jake notices, but he doesn’t mention it. “Do you want to go watch a movie?” He asks instead, seemingly holding his breath for her reaction.

Sora smiles slightly, feeling her heart warming in her chest, “Yeah, what are we gonna watch?” She grabs her phone and ramen, shoving the phone in her pajama shorts for a free hand.

“I meant, like,” he waves his hand at her, fumbling for the words, “Outside. At a theater.” He then hastily clarifies, “With me.”

“In public?” Sora blinks, surprised. He wants to go out in public with her where it’s inevitable for a fan or some to catch them. Yes, they were seen in public all the time but that was when it was for a schedule. He nods silently.

Strangely enough, to her, it was more intimate to be seen out together without any staff or other members. It meant that he wanted to be seen with her in public.

For a brief, panicky moment, her heart stops at the thought.

Swallowing the taste in her mouth with a bite of ramen, she slowly nods, “Okay. What movie?”

Jake proceeds to ramble on about the movie, what it was about, who was starring in it, what he liked about the trailer. She tries to listen, she really does— but she suddenly finds his lips a lot more interesting. Without even meaning to, her eyes keep dropping from his eyes to his mouth, watching as he’d momentarily pull his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought about something before saying it.

Horror suddenly fills her chest once she realizes what she’s doing, eyes widening and a small gasp leaving her mouth. Jake, who hears, stops, looking at her in concern, “What? What is it?”

Sora’s face goes blank. “Nothing, the ramen just burned my tongue.”

Jake looks more concerned now, “Shit, I’m sorry, Sora.” He starts to lean forward and she tenses, looking at him with wide eyes as he … tries to inspect her mouth? What the hell was happening? Why was he so concerned? “Is your tongue OK? Let me see—”

Sora was already panicked with how close he was— imagine how much that tripled when he cupped her cheek and tried to urge her to open her mouth. Her heart pounding was so loud in her ears that it blocked out everything else Jake was saying. She didn't know what she was thinking, all she knew was that she had to get away from him and fast, preferably before her heart burst out of her chest.

In her haste to get away, she completely forgot about the cup of ramen in her lap and didn’t secure it before jolting up. With a painful gasp, the ramen tips over and spills over her clothes and bed. To prevent from letting out any other painful mutters, she bit down on her tongue— hard. It wasn’t as bad as she had previously said it was, but it was still warm— warm enough to hurt badly.

“Shit! Sora—” Jake bolts up after her, looking at her soaked clothes with wide eyes. “Fuck, fuck— are you OK?!” He doesn’t wait for her reply before he’s shouting out into the dorm, “Hyung! Jay! Jungwon! Sora’s hurt!”

Oh, don’t tell them that, Jake! A voice in her head groans. She never wants to worry them.

Sora faintly notices the lull of conversation from the boys outside, before she hears multiple loud footsteps rushing towards her room. She shakes her head as her door is pushed open, revealing the rest of her members crowded in the doorway. Jay pushed himself to the front, closely followed by Heeseung and Sunghoon with wide, frantic eyes.

She tries to reassure them that she’s OK, that it’s just a little spill, and a little of a burning, but nothing she’s never handled before. But their voices are overlapping, asking what happened, if she was OK, and Jungwon was rushing in with two towels, quickly wrapping one around her and putting one on the floor to clean up the ramen.

Sora blinks at the noise, getting tired of hearing the same questions so she huffs, raising her voice as she shouts, “Shut up!”

The boys shut up. Sunghoon, even in his worry, manages to raise his eyebrows and point a finger at him as if to ask, “Me?”

She breathes out, looking down at her now dirty clothes, “Thank you. I’m fine. It’s just a little spill.”

“A little spill?” Heeseung asks in disbelief, “Your skin’s red because of how hot it is, Sora.”

She looks down again, tilting her head to see the redness Heeseung claims to see. “Huh.” She murmurs, seeing how unusually red her skin was. “Well … It doesn’t feel that bad.”

“You’re going to feel it in a minute,” Jay quickly grabs her by the wrist gently, pulling her out of her room, passing by the concerned Sunoo and Niki. Her skin tingles where he grabs her, and she’s not so sure the redness on her skin is from the ramen anymore. “Hurry, go take a shower— No hot water. We’ll clean this up, don’t worry.”

“Oh, no, really, I’m fine,” Sora laughs lightly, shaking her head, “Like, it’s really not even that bad—”

Sunghoon doesn’t even bother letting her finish her sentence, picking her up and basically dragging her to the bathroom. She can feel Jake’s apologetic and worried eyes on her as she’s dragged out of her own room. “Hey!” She quickly hits him lightly on the shoulder, “Let me go!”

“Alright,” he shrugs, letting Niki push open the bathroom door and quickly shoves her in. She whirls around just in time for the bathroom door to shut in her face.

Her mouth drops open, “Sunghoon!”

“Sunghoon Oppa,” he corrects.

“You earn that title!” Sora hits the door lightly, trying to wiggle the doorknob, but it doesn’t open, “Let me out! I’m OK, please don’t clean it up, I’ve got it!”

“Already started,” Niki’s voice comes through the door, “Too late. Get in the shower before it gets worse, noona, please.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Jungwon chastises her lightly next, “You know it’s the smart thing to do.” She can’t help but feel appalled, again.

“But—”

“No buts!” She can hear Heeseung shout from her room.

Sora resists the urge to throw a tantrum like she would have nearly six years ago. She sighs, the warmth now a dull ache. “I don’t even have clothes to change into!”

“We’ll get you new clothes,” Sunoo reassures her from outside the door now.

“Don’t go through my room!” She says loudly, starting off as a shriek before she forces herself to quieten down. It reminded her too much of her old self. “Just let me out and I’ll—”

“Let you out so you can lock yourself in another room?” Sunghoon sounds somehow both amused and serious now, and she has no idea how, “Get in the shower, Sora.”

“I’ll get you clothes, Sora,” Sunoo says gently, then there was a light thump on the door. She wonders if he’s resting his head on the door like she is. (He is.) “Don’t worry, I won’t snoop or anything.”

“I know, but …” Her voice is uncharacteristically weak, “Just … Get me a shirt and pants, please. I’ll get the rest …” She feels awkward saying it, her brothers were far too young to even want to help her with anything. She wasn’t used to this, being taken care of. She didn’t like it. She also just didn’t want any of the boys going through her room and finding things she never wanted them to see.

There’s a pause, and then footsteps walk away from the bathroom door, but she can tell one or two people are still on the opposite side.

“Sunoo’s getting your clothes,” Sunghoon murmurs, and there’s another pause, “Don’t be stubborn. You know we just want to help.” His footsteps then walk away, too, and she finally relaxes, swallowing as she turns to face the bathroom mirror. The mirror is slightly still fogged from whoever took a shower earlier, and she swipes at it with her hand to look at her body clearly.

She winces at the redness on her arms and thighs, knowing from experience that it would hurt way less later on. She had no idea how she was going to explain this to their managers.

“Sora,” she jumps when she heard Jake’s soft voice on the other side, turning as if she could see him. She slowly walks closer to the door as he says, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to spill on you.”

“It’s OK,” she shakes her head, frowning to herself. “It wasn’t your fault at all, I’m the one who spilled it.”

“But I brought it to you—”

“It should’ve been on the table,” Sora says it like it’s final, leaving no room for an argument. Jake doesn’t reply for a moment and she wonders if he left, but she didn’t hear him walk away.

“Still, it must’ve hurt a lot,” Jake insists.

“I’m used to it,” the words come out of her mouth before she can even think it through. She visibly recoils once she realizes, mouth parting in shock as she starts to frantically look around as if it’d give her an excuse on why she said that. “I— Uh—”

“What do you mean?” Jake asks, his tone being mixed of confusion and cautiousness, and she can imagine him standing on the other side with that cute confused look he gets. She curses herself for somehow managing to think about something like that in a situation like this. It’s just the videos getting to her, she knows it.

Sora sighs, “I just mean I’ve been cooking for a long time, remember? My mom taught me young.” Kind of, but this time she keeps the truth to herself.

“Oh, right,” Jake laughs, sounding relieved. “You know, I thought for a second …” Don’t say it, don’t say it. “You know what? Nevermind. Just … I’m sorry, OK?” Before they can get into another little argument over the same topic, she hears his footsteps walking away.

Sora wants to scream. Her face falls into her hands, slumping against the door. Her hand comes back and lightly smacks herself on the head, “Why, why, why …” So stupid of her to be so careless. They didn’t need to know anything in her home life. That was a mistake.

Why did she feel so compelled to just spill her guts out to Jake? That was the last thing she needed was for him to know anything in general. Sure, the basic stuff about her was fine, but he, nor the others, needed to know anything about her home life. She knew they’d overreact, and she just wanted life to slow down a bit so she could catch her breath.

Forcing herself off the door, she sighs loudly and starts the cold water.

Sora really can’t understand why she’s doing this to herself.

She really does try her best to not avoid Jake the next few days, she doesn’t want him thinking she blames him for the spill, but she also just … needs space. Every time he touches or jokingly flirts with her, even when he just talks to her or says her name, her heart starts pounding and her face gets warm. She’s tired of it, and needs a break. So if she stays close to Sunoo or Heeseung for the majority of the next week, he doesn’t think anything of it.

It’s the middle of the week, and ENHYPEN are at dance practice, already practicing for their first comeback despite still in the middle of promotions for Given-Taken. Sora is ever so unsuspecting, pushing her hair back up with a ponytail as the only sound in the room was her and her members’ loud out of breath panting. The choreographer claps once, “Good job, guys. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

Sora forces herself to respectfully bow as her members do, waving goodbye to the staff and choreographer that leave. The only people in the room now are the group and their managers, Wooseok and Hyosun, and she glances around to see that Wooseok is calling someone and Hyosun is texting. She turns to look for her water bottle that was no longer in the same place it was before, but is startled when two water bottles were presented to her at the same time.

Feeling a creeping sense of dread, she presses her lips together and looks up, finding both Jay and Jake holding out bottles of water to her. She glances between the two, who glance at her and then to the waters and then to each other. Both of their hands move like they’re going to take it back, but when they both catch what the other is doing, they freeze.

“Um,” Sora murmurs, feeling awkward as her face heats up, mostly out of embarrassment and slightly flustered. She doesn’t like the position she’s in, at all. She notices movement in the corner of her eye and turns her head to see Niki holding up her lilac water bottle in his hand slightly from his spot against the wall. “Yeah, thanks but …” She gestures to Niki, quickly grabbing it from him and starting to chug it down. Half because she really was thirsty, the other half because she wanted to ignore the situation.

Avoiding eye contact with the other members, who were watching the awkward moment, she sits in between Heeseung and Sunoo. Pressing the cool bottle against her cheek, she waits a few moments before looking back up to see if anyone was still staring at her.

Her eyes connect with Jay’s and she abruptly turns her head back to the floor, feeling her face get impossibly hot, even with the water bottle. She feels like she just got caught doing something she shouldn’t have done.

There had to be something seriously wrong with her.

“Your face is really red,” Heeseung whispers from beside her, and she turns her head to stare at him. He blinks. She blinks before turning her head back to the floor.

“Yeah, we just got done practicing,” she mutters, swallowing. She’s afraid if she stares any longer, he’ll be able to know what she’s thinking.

Here’s the thing— Sora isn’t dumb. She was placed in the top three of her class, and she was sure to get into any university she wanted. She’s also been in a relationship before, she’s had plenty of crushes— she knows. But she can’t.

Not when they’re her members.

If it were anyone else, she wouldn’t think much into it and would let it pan out.

And it wasn’t even just one of them. It was two. She really was proving netizens right. And she hated it. So what was she going to do?

Ignore it and hope it goes away. And if not, well … She was pretty sure that plan would work. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if it didn’t.

As long as she remains strictly platonic with her members, everything would be fine. She’s worked too damn hard to get where she is now, she’s been through two survival shows, and she wasn’t going to go on another one again. She would succeed in her dream.

Still, she seems to forget that the heart wants what it wants.

247 notes · View notes

seeingivy · 3 months

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better than revenge

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

previous part linked here

an: this is 11k and tweets on tweets. buckle in. if you find the typo in the tweets shut up

songs mentioned: see you again by tyler the creator ft. kali uchis, end game by taylor swift, and vampire by olivia rodrigo

The following morning, the buzzing energy in the townhouse is almost palpable. Not only because you’ve finally completed the set and the last four people have arrived – Erwin, Bertholdt, Ymir, and Historia – but it seems that your intense energy from the night prior seemed to have transferred over to everyone else.

You’re almost too embarrassed to walk downstairs to the frantic chatter – that coupled with the fact that you’ve heard Connie name drop you almost four times – and it seems that Eren seems to be feeling the same when you walk out into the hallway to find him awkwardly lingering by his door.

“Hey.”

Eren looks up, thrown out of his spiral of thoughts, as he gives you a smile and then looks down at your lip. It’s a little sore, the tiniest bit swollen from the tattoos that you got yesterday, and you can see that his is the same.

“Hi princess. How’s your lip?” Eren asks.

“Good. I guess I should be thankful that your name is only four letters and not nine letters like Bertholdt or something.”

Eren smiles.

“Let’s see it then.” Eren responds.

You oblige his request, pulling down to show him the inner of your lip and watch as he smiles at the little ink. He follows suit after, making a rather dramatic display of crouching down to your height before pulling his own lip and showing you his.

“You know, life really does imitate art. Because now, my name really will be forever on your lips.” you respond.

“I sure hope not. You’d be slashing my head off sometime in the near future if that were true.”

You smile.

“You know, that doesn’t sound that bad to me.”

“But you have to kiss me after. You know, if it were up to me, I think life should imitate art. Like at least ten times, for scientific purposes.” Eren responds, shrugging as he gestures for you to follow him.

You shake your head, inexplicably unable to respond to the harmless flirting this time around, as you gesture for him to join you downstairs. The two of you walk in tandem down the steps, sparing each other one last smile, before you get hounded by the likes of Connie and Jean.

And surely enough, the second you make it down to the kitchen and the dining table at the side, you’re met with the sight of Connie air-playing fan edits on the TV screen for everyone to watch.

You and Eren take the spot behind Connie on the couch, and Eren smacks him on the backside of his head, before you two watch the edit. It’s of Eren singing Glimpse of Us in the background, except the video’s edited to be showing videos of him and Hyla, before juxtaposing them with videos of him and you.

“Speak of the fucking devils. Don’t tell me you actually got matching lip tattoos? I’m half convinced you assholes are just lying to piss me off at this point.” Connie asks.

The two of you look over and grin at each other.

“Why are you watching fancams of us on the TV?” you ask.

“Edit accounts are a form of art. Look at this one.” Connie responds, sliding to the next video on his phone.

This one is in a similar vein, videos of you and Eren from the red carpet to the backdrop of you singing Style. You’re not sure what it is, but the video fills you with an insurmountable amount of joy, especially when Connie scrolls up the comments – most of them being about how people can’t stand how Eren seems to look at you.

“Connie. Why have you watched this entire YouTube video?” Eren asks, pointing to the little thumbnail at the side.

You follow the line of vision to where he’s pointing to an hour long video, entitled “eren and y/n creating love for an hour straight.”

“There’s no way you watched that entire thing.” you respond.

“Watched it? Bitch, I recorded half of those videos for Y/N-Jaegers back in the day. Please put some respect on my name.” Connie sneers, as he leans forward to put the video on.

You turn to Eren, as the gears start turning in your head. You can tell that he’s following your lead – in fact, thinking the same exact thing as you – as you discuss it over.

“I mean, kind of makes sense. S’how we did it the first time.” Eren responds.

“I’d argue that it’s almost poetic to do it the same way. Plus, the resurgence of Y/N-Jaegers would be crazy, just for PR sake.”

“I agree.”

Eren reaches forward, yanking on Connie’s ear to catch his attention. He leans back, before swatting Eren off, and standing to face the two of you.

“Do you have your phone, Connie?” Eren asks.

“Yeah.” Connie responds.

“Then, use it.” Eren responds.

You give him a grin, waiting for Connie – who albeit, in his confusion lifts his phone – before you both pull down your lips and show off your new tattoos. You watch as Connie’s eyes nearly boggle out of head as he moves closer to the two of you, his excited voice filling the entire room as the group of them all start huddling around you.

Mai and Mikasa look positively appalled, quietly whispering about how painful that must have been, while Reiner and Sasha break out into their own side tangent about how oppressive lip tattoos must be since they limit your food options so greatly.

You and Eren laugh as you shuffle back into the kitchen, leaving the group of them to their devices as Connie uploads the video, and the two of you reach for the yogurt in the fridge. The piping hot, spicy ramen seemed like it was just going to burn your entire lip off, so you decided against that for today.

You lean forward to read the little schedule on the fridge, though the filming is considerably light for the week. Considering the fact that almost everyone was here now, or arriving within the next hour, you were going into serious rehearsals for the ensemble showcase that you had planned. Though you were really only in it for one verse.

Wednesday, March 27th, 10:00

Eren and Y/N - REDACTED #1

You frown.

“What the hell is redacted number one?”

Eren spins to the side, crouching down so his chin is just hovering over your shoulder. And the fact that he lowers his voice, to the gravelly octave, makes the hair on your arms stand up on its ends.

“Levi not talk to you about this yet?”

“No. We’re too busy talking about award show stuff. You know how he loves to lecture.”

Eren looks over at you, his eyes borderline smoldering, as you can’t help but look away. It was getting harder and harder to look at Eren after your godforsaken realization last night.

“From what I hear, what they’re lecturing you about is actually very valid.” Eren responds.

You scoff.

“You know, they’re so annoying. I’d appreciate it if they kept my conversations with them as private as they keep their conversations with you.” you respond.

“Well, they were actually trying to get me to convince you to not use your triple threat performance on me. Not when you’re already performing twice that day, with me at the centerpoint.” Eren responds.

When you had first pitched your idea for the awards show to them – and humbly begged them to give their ensemble showcase moment up to include the Jujutsu Kaisen cast – you had let them know that your intentions were from the get go.

And when Eren had created the perfect segway for them with the song requests, Hange had slipped theirs in a week prior with maybe the most difficult request that you had been given yet.

write a song about danny and sareen

And even more than just writing it, Hange had made it very clear that they were expecting you to sing it at the award’s show at the end when you finally got to do your triple threat performance. That you couldn’t sing another song about Eren, when winning that award, was always going to be about them.

Hange’s more theatrical than Levi. Because Levi just gave you the cue card that they have read off of that night, that had your name on it. But Hange had gone the full ten miles and given you the little trophy that you never even got to hold, with the note that came attached from the Institute.

You can still see it now in the dull, gold looping.

Dear Y/N, Danny, and Sareen, Congratulations on your accomplishment! Included in the box is the trophy and a golden glass case to display it in. Please call the offices on Glass Avenue to discuss timings for interviews and your performance at one of our four award shows next year. Best, The Institute

And annoyingly enough – despite the fact that it was your name on the trophy, their names were inscribed on the box.

It was enough to irritate you into writing the song that Hange wanted you to sing. And at this point, you were itching to give them a run for their money too.

“They didn’t need you to convince me. I gave in eventually.” you respond.

Eren shrugs, before dipping his own spoon into your yogurt. Eren had instinctively given up the last strawberry one because it’s your favorite, but clearly, wasn’t very attached to his decision.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to make it about Danny and Sareen in the first place.” Eren responds.

You shrug, leaning against the back of the fridge. The metal is cold on your back, as you let the freezing cold yogurt soothe the burning in your mouth.

“Well, I only came back here for Marco. Because he won’t ever get to act again. Then when I started to do this, I was only doing it for you – because you did it for me first.” you respond.

“And now?”

“I thought back to what Historia had said to me, when she finally dragged me out of that house the first time. She had brought up Hange’s speech, the one way back when that made me even interested in acting in the first place. About showing the real you and all that.” you respond.

“And?” Eren asks.

“Well, Hange brought that up to me, when I originally said I wanted the third song to be about you. Not that you’re not important to me, but…being a triple threat was what I always wanted. And really at the core of it, I just wanted to be as unapologetic as Hange was. I guess when they put it that way, it was almost stupid not to make the song about them when they’re the one who got to take the sanctity of that award away from me.”

Eren smiles. And before he can respond, you’re tackled by two pairs of arms nearly strangling you around your neck, your line of vision telling you that Eren’s experiencing the same bombardment. Ymir and Bertholdt are shaking his entire frame and jumping at his side – and your ears don’t deceive you when you hear Historia and Erwin bellowing in your ear.

You pull back, wrapping your hands around Historia’s face.

“You crazy bitch. Don’t tell me you actually got a fucking tattoo again?” Historia asks.

You grin, pulling down your lip to show the group of them.

“Well, I’d be a fucking liar if I said that.” you respond.

Erwin, in his theatrics, places a hand over his chest and the other one on the top of your head.

“That’s my girl. Always had such a sound moral compass.” Erwin responds.

You can’t help but wrap your arms around him as Erwin lifts his hand and gestures for Eren to join him at the other side. He still smells the same – the lingering scent of Old Spice deodorant and a very husky perfume. And when he pulls back, you can’t help but feel your heart squelch when he puts a hand on both of your cheeks and beams down at you two.

“You’ve always been our little trail blazers, you two. I’m so proud of you two.”

You turn to Eren and smile, before looking back at Erwin.

“We’re proud of you too, Erwin!” Eren responds.

You turn your head to the side, giving Eren a confused look.

“Don’t flatter me, Eren. I’m not above crying in front of you children.” Erwin responds.

“I’m offended you would even think that, Erwin. Don’t you know who I am?” Eren responds.

You shake your head as you turn towards Ymir and Bertholdt at your side and leave Eren and Erwin to hype each other up for what was probably going to be the next thirty minutes at your side. You had already given up trying to understand Eren and Erwin’s relationship years prior.

“Hey, kid.” Ymir says.

“I’m older than you.” you respond.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I have someone I want you to meet.” Ymir responds.

You follow her line of vision to the opening of the kitchen, to find someone lingering against the frame of the door. There’s a girl standing there, with tan skin and a short pixie cut – nervously knitting her fingers together. She’s smiling at you, rather brightly, and you can't help but feel like you’ve met her before.

“Y/N. This is Sofia, my fiance. Sofia, this is Y/N.” Ymir states, gesturing for the two of you to shake hands.

You oblige, her hand warm and the shake firm, as you try to hide the shock in your face. With the rush of everything that was going on, the information that Mikasa had shared with you days prior had been floating around in the back of your mind but you were never able to ask Eren to put it to rest.

And now there was another lingering question mark hanging.

That Ymir had proposed to Historia, but that she said no. That she begged her and Historia couldn’t bring herself to do it. But even despite that, they were still sleeping on the same mattress when you came back for the first time, for Marco’s funeral.

And now she’s engaged to someone else.

“Hi Sofia. My name is Y/N. It’s really nice to meet you.”

Her eyes light up as she squeezes your hand, which you now realize is still locked in with hers, as you look back up at her and smile.

“It’s really nice to meet you too.” she responds.

“You know, you look really familiar, but I can’t exactly place why.” you murmur.

You look to your side to find Ymir grinning at Sofia, as Sofia can’t help but groan in response.

“I told you she would remember you.” Ymir states.

“That doesn’t count as remembering me! A lot of people can look familiar to people!” Sofia responds.

You smile, rubbing your palms together, as you look at the two of them. The thought of Historia a few feet away talking to Jean and Mikasa has you sweating, nervously passing your eyes over just to make sure that she wasn’t watching the entire interaction go down.

“Have I met you before?” you ask.

Sofia sighs, the slightest pink tint in the apples of her cheeks.

“This is so embarrassing. I met you and Eren a couple years back, at one of those conventions with the panels and stuff and –”

The recognition is instant.

“Oh my god! You were wearing a shirt with my face on it! With your sister, right?” you respond.

“I fucking told you she would remember! She has really good memory.” Ymir responds, this time goading her on.

You shake your head at Ymir, before placing your hands on both of her biceps and squeezing.

“Sofia, wait. I really remember that because it actually meant the world to me at the time. I’m sure you…know about Scott Clarkson and all that mess and –”

“I want that man dead and I’m so serious.” Sofia deadpans.

You laugh.

“You and me, both. But yeah, that day was actually the first time that Eren and I had ever met him in person. And the entire event in general was just so uncomfortable and left a weird taste in my mouth and you…you really made me feel like I was doing something important and I actually thought about it for a really long time.” you respond.

Sofia smiles, before she reaches forward and wraps her arms around you. The embrace is overwhelmingly warm, as you eye Ymir behind her back, who's just shaking her head at her demeanor, almost insinuating that this was what she did all the time.

“I’m really glad. I really meant what I said back then and I’ve always been a big supporter all this time. You’re really brave and courageous and –” Sofia stars.

“Okay, Sof. Enough. You’re going to make poor Y/N’s head bigger than it already is.” Ymir groans, as you turn back to your side.

“That’s really sweet of you. How is your sister?” you ask.

You’re not sure what it is, but it’s almost like you’ve thrown ice on the little warmth that was pooling in the conversation. Because her face slightly droops and Ymir’s quick to put a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

“Ah. She passed away a few years ago.” Sofia mumbles.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up and –”

She smiles, enough to give you the faintest glimpse of her dimples. They remind you of Eren.

“That’s okay. That’s actually where I met Ymir. At the grief group.” she responds.

“You went to a grief group?” you ask.

“Well, not originally. I was there with a friend, a while before Marco died. Met her there. We were already dating when Marco passed away, but…we just figured it wasn’t the best idea for Sofia to come to the funeral with…you know. Historia.” Ymir responds.

So why did she sleep with Historia on the mattress?

“I’m glad you’re here with us now. It’s really nice to meet you. And I love weddings, if Ymir can humble herself enough to invite me to hers.” you respond.

“Shut up, bitch. You’re so annoying.” Ymir responds.

That’s what she says. But it sounds more like are you crazy? Of course, you’re invited.

“Anyways, I hope you come to set later. Eren and I are going to be filming something if you want to watch.”

“For sure. I’d love to see it.” Sofia responds.

You look over your shoulder to find Levi, Hange, and Eren waiting near the edge of the kitchen island, gesturing for you to come over now that you’ve caught their attention. And as the four of you embark out towards the set, Levi explains what redacted scenes are to you.

You spare Historia one last glance as you walk off the set and can’t help but feel a bitter taste in your mouth at the longing look she’s giving Ymir.

“You know, this sounds an awful lot like method acting to me.” you murmur, spotting the sly grin on Levi’s face.

“Eren told me not to call it that. He said you might strangle me. Or him. Or both of us combined.”

“He would be right about that.” you respond.

He’s leaning against the edge of the vanity, as the makeup team tasks themself with drying and prepping your hair to perfection, while Levi coaches you through what you now understand are the two redacted scenes that Levi has asked you and Eren to film.

You just think it’s lazy script writing. Levi thinks you’re annoying for calling it that.

With your combined permission of course, Levi has decided to let you method act through the two scenes that he originally had planned out. While he was allegedly entirely faithful in your ability to deliver lines, he wanted to see if what the two of you could produce out of real shock, in the moment as your characters, was something better than what he could write.

Hence, the vague scene that you and Eren were going to be filming. To your understanding, the pair of them were each going to give you and Eren a set of prompts and you were just supposed to act your way through the scene based on what they told you to do.

“Can I know my prompt then?” you ask.

“You understand, right?” Levi clarifies.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just supposed to go based on what you tell me.”

Levi hops off of the counter, this time leaning closer so that you can actually make eye contact with him in your line of vision.

“But really. I don’t care how badly you want to say something else. You…you have to go based on the direction that I tell you.” Levi responds.

It’s almost annoying, the way he’s coddling you through the entire thing.

“Okay, I get it. This is my entire job, you know?” you respond.

Levi scoffs.

“Fine. Eren’s going to ask you something. I want you to shoot him down.” Levi states.

You lean your head to the side, much to the annoyance of the makeup artist, who moves your neck back into place. You shoot her an apologetic smile, before thinking back to Levi.

“You want me to shoot him down?” you ask.

“He’s going to ask you something. Or insinuate it – and no matter how badly you want to do whatever it is, you have to tell him no.”

Levi gives you a curt nod before he walks back out to the set to put things in place, as you put the outfit resting on the hangar on. You reach up to mess with the little fringe of your bangs, pulling down the undershirt and the jacket as you prepare yourself for the scene.

When you walk out on set, the group of them are all sitting on the sidelines, giving you excited smiles. You give Sofia a little wave at the front of the sidelines, returning the little finger hearts that Gabi and Falco point towards you as you reach for your cue.

And when Levi calls action, the lights on the entire set dimming and the chatter breaking down to silence, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you see Eren at the top of the little landing, his back facing towards you.

“Eren! Everyone has been looking everywhere for you!”

At the sound of your voice, Eren lifts his hand to his face and sniffles, almost like he’s wiping away tears, before you stand at his side. He refuses to meet your eyes and now that you’re standing at his side, you’re not sure how you missed this before.

They cut Eren’s hair.

A small part of it – because it’s out of the usual man bun that he’s been sporting since you came back to set and instead loosely frames the sides of his face.

It might be your favorite look yet. And all you can do is stare.

He still refuses to meet your eye, withholding it from you. You follow his gaze to the bottom of the landing, to see the kid that Levi had introduced you to a week prior, who was going to play Ramzi in the script. You had yet to film the scene – since you’re almost positive that Levi was going out of order at this point to save time and note it.

“The boy from the market? What happened?” you ask.

“Nothing yet.” Eren responds.

Eren’s voice has that same gravel, almost hollow, like he did the day that you filmed the table scene. It’s almost haunting when his voice sounds like that – so devoid of motion and strained that it makes your chest pang.

You wonder if that’s what he sounded like in the years that you didn’t talk.

“What do you mean? Wh-what is this place?” you ask.

“After the war left them with no home, they all gathered here to live. They’re just like us.”

Eren’s throat bobs at your side and you can feel his eyes clenching in your peripheral vision.

“One day, their regular lives ended and everything was taken away from them. They were deprived of all of their freedoms.” Eren states.

And almost in a split second, Eren finally averted his gaze from looking down and meets your eyes for the first time. You’re not sure what it is – surely something from the makeup team that’s making his eyes look fuller, rounder – but the eye contact is almost excruciating this time. Your first instinct is to turn away.

“Y/N. Why do you care so much about me?”

You can feel your cheeks burning. That was the last thing you were expecting him to say.

“Huh?” you repeat.

“Is it because I saved you when we were little? Or is it because I’m your family?”

You swallow hard, the block in your throat stifling. It’s almost like you can’t even push air out of it, like you’re opening your mouth to try and nothing can make it past – enough to fill you with a panic like you won’t ever speak again. Because you have the faintest inkling of what’s going to come next…why Levi was so adamant on asking if you would be able to follow his instructions.

“I-”

“What am I to you?” Eren asks.

Everything.

It’s the first word that comes to mind when he asks.

“Ev–”

You pause, as you feel the sweat accumulating on the edge of your hairline, fighting the urge to reach up to wipe it off. Levi’s voice is excruciating in your head.

He’s going to ask you something. Or insinuate it – and no matter how badly you want to do whatever it is, you have to tell him no.

It’s almost painful. Having to say it when it isn’t true. When in reality, you know that you’re acting and Eren knows that you’re acting too – that this is just part of your job. But to even strike him down in the fake way, after weeks of building it back together, seems cruel.

You sigh, shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath, before you look back up at his eyes. The deep green is enough to accumulate the thinnest film of tears in your eyes.

“You’re family, Eren.”

And after you mutter it, it’s visceral…an almost physical reaction from Eren. Because you can see the way his breath hitches, the way he hesitantly steps back – quite literally physically recoiling. And the regret sits heavy in your chest and you have to drop your eyes – because you can’t even bear to look at him.

“Cut!” Levi calls.

It’s enough to snap you out of the heaviness, as you shake your head at the resounding amount of chatter that follows. You can still feel your heart racing as the makeup team is quick to rush to your side – quickly powdering the sweat that had accumulated on your cheek as they do the same with Eren – and you can hear Connie and Reiner mumbling about how brutal that was to watch on the side.

You look back up at Eren, whose hollow look hasn’t left his eyes and you give him a halfhearted smile – which he doesn’t return. Instead, he turns back to Levi and Hange, who are murmuring over the shot in the viewfinder.

“Did we get it?” Eren nearly shouts.

“We got it. You killed it guys.” Levi responds, still fixated on the shot.

“Do you still need me or can I go?” Eren asks.

“Eren–”

“You’re good, Eren.” Hange responds.

Eren’s almost too quick with it, the way he yanks the little mic pack off the little sleeve in his jacket and hands it to the crew. And with his long bean stalk legs, he’s disappeared from your side before you can barely even process that he was standing there in the first place.

You can’t bring yourself to talk to Eren until two days later, on the eve of his birthday and two days before the award show. Not because you’re actively avoiding him, but it seems that he gets so wrapped up in quite literally everything else he has to attend to. Though really, it feels like that the slight air of comfort that you had was completely shattered by filming the scene together.

There’s a quiet knock on Eren’s door. He’s preemptively pissed off…and the quiet irritation that had been festering in his chest for the last few days was about to come to a head on Connie and Lana, who refused to take a hint.

He had made it infinitely clear that he wanted to spend the early hours of his birthday alone. That he would be fine and dandy to celebrate with everyone the day after, but he needed the time to process some things alone.

The tension diffuses when he realizes that it’s you at the door. There’s an almost timid look on your face, as you balance a little white box in your hands, and peek your head past the closet.

“Am I disturbing you?”

“No, of course not. Come in.” Eren responds, patting flat on the comforter for you to join him at his side.

You give him a smile as you set the little box down, crossing your legs over each other to sit at his side. You lock your hands into the pits of your knees as you turn over towards him, taking a second chance to admire that his hair is the slightest bit shorter.

“I really love your hair, Eren.” you respond.

There’s an immediate flush in the apples of his cheeks. He reaches up to it, nervously pushing a hand through the strands before he drops it all together.

“Thank you. The length was starting to get really fucking annoying.” Eren responds.

“I liked the man-bun but I think this type of thing really suits you.” you respond.

Eren looks over at you and gives you a halfhearted smile. And that quiet ease returns, maybe faster than Eren would have liked. The quiet moment of hurt that he was holding on to was absolved the second you smiled at him.

Eren can hear Connie’s voice in his head – calling him down horrendous.

“What can I do you for?” Eren asks.

“It’s almost your birthday.” you state.

“Congratulations, Y/N. You know how to read a calendar!”

You scoff, before lightly shoving him in his side.

“Shut up. I wanted to do something for you.” you respond, before lightly pushing the box in front of him.

Eren gives you a weary look, before he opens up the little box. It’s a frosted green and white cake – with four candles in it. It’s a strange arrangement since they’re all numbered candles, making the number 2,345.

“I guess I stand corrected. You really don’t know how to read a calendar.” Eren responds.

Eren turns to the side, with the most annoying look on his face, as he turns to you and grins.

“Okay, Y/N. Repeat after me. The year is 2024.”

“Shut up, asshole. I was trying to be sweet.” you grumble, as you hike your knees to your chest.

Eren rolls his eyes.

“What’s so sweet about getting the age wrong on my cake?” Eren asks.

“It’s actually to make up for every birthday of yours that I missed, dumbass.” you respond.

Eren can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“What?” Eren asks.

You shrug, before reaching down to adjust the candles from pushing into each other.

“The last birthday I got to spend with you was your twenty-second birthday. I can imagine that the years’ that followed weren't exactly pleasant…that…that they might have been a reminder of what happened on the beach.” you start.

That was the understatement of the year.

“And it’s my fault that I missed your birthday. So, I thought that…we could make them up now. Hence the candles for three and four, for your twenty-third and twenty-fourth birthday. And today’s your twenty-fifth…it’s the least that I could do.” you respond.

Eren thinks it’s rather unfair that he always seems to be at a loss of words when he’s with you. Instead of being able to spill out what was really racketing through his brain – that it was getting infinitely harder to swallow down his feelings, that this was almost melting the resolve that he had made with himself to let you make the first move – he opens up his arms instead.

You oblige, leaning forward and resting your chin against his shoulder, as you feel Eren scoop his arms around your waist. It’s almost like he’s resting his entire body weight on you, because you can feel his face digging into the softness of your neck, as you absentmindedly reach up for his hair, feeling the edges that were just freshly cut. The faint scent of the hairdressing spray still lingers.

He’s quiet for sometime, but it’s only fitting that when he does break the silence, it’s with something annoying.

“A cake with no plates is crazy, Y/N.” Eren mumbles.

You laugh, as you reach inside the box for the two forks you tucked inside the box. You hand him one, as he tucks the ends of his hair behind his ears, and looks up at you.

“Game plan. You eat all the frosting and I’ll eat all the cake.” Eren states.

“Huh?”

“Okay, that’s a little selfish. But it’s my birthday. And I just really hate frosting.”

The thought that comes to your mind is enough to startle you, just in the slightest.

Eren really is your soulmate.

It’s stupid. A stupid comparison to make when the person that you’re comparing him to is Ricky James of all people. But you can’t help but think about that stupid memory, from before the Met Gala. Ricky had bought you that stupid cupcake – and very irritatingly swiped the frosting off of your finger.

And the two of you bickered because you both preferred the frosting as opposed to the actual cake. And naturally, Ricky was never going to be the type to give up his frosting for you.

It was sweet that way, with Eren. And you’re sure that the thought of invisible strings and single threads of gold tying you to Eren are really only on your mind because that’s what you sang to him the last time you got to spend his birthday with him, but it almost seems too perfect.

That Eren likes the cake, but you like the frosting. That you’d always finish the cake if you were eating it together.

Unbeknownst to you of course, Eren is fully aware of the fact that you are overly fond of the frosting on the cake. And that you have no idea that he really hates eating the spongy cake part and prefers the frosting too.

But he doesn’t like the frosting nearly enough to not even think twice before offering it to you.

You only grace the red carpet for five minutes. You and Eren are above that at this point. But from what you were able to discern from Twitter backstage, after practicing your first set with Eren, it was eventful enough without you there.

Sukuna splashed a glass of wine in Ricky’s already swollen eye from last week. Hyla tripped and fell when she got out of the limo. You and Eren spend a good amount of time reading through the stuff on your feed – and the perfectly timed blind items that you had submitted to every paparazzi company but the WBS were coming out just as you planned them.

And surely enough, every single one of them was getting caught off guard when they were asked on the carpet – and couldn’t scramble a perfect PR response out.

There were three blind items that were yours and the rest were strays. And you were fully intent on making sure that everyone, Danny and Sareen, knew that it was you who submitted them by the end of the night.

First, that Ricky James had thrown an insanely murderous bitch fit at the front of the Institute Offices in New York when he found out that he had been replaced as the opening act, by Eren of all people.

Which, according to your sources, was true.

Second, that the producer for the critically acclaimed Ribbons album, Sareen Clarkson, had been cheating on her husband with industry plant John Stasny, who is twenty years her junior and had previously been linked to several famous actresses, like Historia Reiss.

Which was also true. It had only been a few hours since it had been leaked, but the shit train that followed wasn't pretty.

If you were going to call her a fame fucker, you were going to make sure that everyone was going to understand the reference.

And the third was that stupid magazine cover that Scott had mailed you and Eren.

This was seemingly the last pillar that had to fall in taking down Scott Clarkson and his empire – or at least putting the tiniest bit of a dent in it.

The only reason that the WBS was successful in the first place was the same reason that his label and movie company thrived the way they did – they were big enough to eliminate all the competition.

But when it came to something like a tabloid, that centered around reporting on drama, it was almost natural to take them down in this way. If they were the only ones that lacked the information, then they’d be the only ones who would drop the ball on reporting it – and therefore, people would have to divert their attention away to someone else to get the information.

The foundation seemed a bit bare, but you were already too far in to oppose it at this point.

You feel a little tap on your shoulder and you turn around to find the two people who were going to be accompanying you for your first performance.

The dopplegangers of you and Eren – from the Girlfriend and Because I Liked a Boy Performance.

“Hi guys!”

You reach forward and wrap your arms around both of them as they return the gesture and warmly hug back. Thankfully, they were more than happy to oblige with your second request – third for Penelope if you counted Girlfriend – to pretend to be you and Eren.

You almost felt bad for marking this as their legacy so many times, but they were more than happy to oblige – citing the free food and the hefty paychecks as more than enough compensation.

“Right, well. Eren, this is Penelope.” you state.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ve met before. Hi.” Eren responds, the look on his face so painstakingly awkward that you almost feel bad for the prank that you’re about to play on him.

“And this is Scott.” you respond.

It’s insanely bad timing, since you accidentally mention it while Eren’s taking a swig of his water bottle. And due to the shock, he consequently spits the entire contents back into the bottle and gives the three of you wide eyes.

“Your name is fucking Scott?”

“No, it’s Jason. Y/N paid me three bucks to say that.” he states.

Eren looks at you, giving you a downright murderous glare, as he puts the water bottle down.

“You bitch.” Eren grumbles

“It’s funny!” you respond.

You shake him off as you turn back to Jason and Penelope and eye the little wardrobe rack on the side.

“Okay. Hair and makeup is ready for you two whenever you are. And just remember, that if anyone asks you about the outfits –”

“Mine is based on Selene, goddess of the moon.” Penelope states.

“And mine is Poseidon, god of the sea.” Jason adds.

You grin. The two of them give you a passing wave before they walk off to the other side of the stage and Eren makes a dramatic display of shuddering.

“What?”

“Don’t they like…freak you out?” Eren asks.

“Why would they freak me out?”

“They literally look like us! And they’re literally dating too which makes it even weirder!”

You give him a weird look.

“They aren’t dating.” you respond.

Eren wraps his arm around your shoulder, before twisting you to the side of where their dressing rooms are – where the two of them are standing, kissing.

“That looks really friendly to me.” Eren states, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“What the hell?”

“It’s weird!” Eren whispers.

You shiver.

“Ew. I don’t like that.” you respond.

“Levi should hire them to do the kiss next week instead of us. Sure, they’ll enjoy it more than we will.”

You can feel your cheeks burning. You know that it’s not what he meant – surely, that it couldn’t have been what he meant in the slightest but the sting still hits all the same.

“Jesus. Didn’t realize you were so opposed to kissing me.” you mumble.

Eren’s eyes go wide.

“I’m not opposed to kissing you!”

“You just suggested that Levi and Hange should literally offer a salary to two people who kind of look like us just so you wouldn’t have to kiss me.” you deadpan.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Well…don’t be weird about it! You don’t have to…want to kiss me. I know we’re just working and that it’s all like method acting or whatever. I’m not going to get offended if you don’t want to it’s just–”

Eren looks agitated. If Sukuna was standing here, you know that he would have no self control and probably piss him off more by asking him if he needed to take a shit.

“Y/N, just listen. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I wrote a kiss into the script and told Levi and Hange that they can’t write it out this time.” Eren responds.

And just as fast as his eyes go wide, his cheeks are bright pink this time as he suddenly busies himself with worrying about his costume to change the subject.

It’s a hopeful thought and you’re clearly speaking faster than you’re thinking. Because it’s probably against your better judgment to assume that he wrote the kiss in just because he wanted to kiss you.

You say it anyway.

“You wrote the kiss into the script?” you ask, giving him a grin.

“My costume seems like it’s going to be tight, right? It looks a little short at the legs? We should see if we can get this fixed in the next twenty minutes before we go on, so I don’t look like an idiot, you know?”

You place a hand on his shoulder, to stop him from bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, and keep him standing on the ground.

“You can relax. I was just messing with you. And your outfit looks fine, I think we should change now so we can make sure I don’t go swinging into the audience with the equipment.”

Eren waits for you to finish changing before you walk over to the little makeshift hang-glider that you guys requested. He chooses to ignore commenting about how much he loves it when you wear red for the time being and focuses on making sure you don’t plummet to your imminent death from the moon you’re going to be hanging off of.

Eren watches as you shuffle on the little seat, before he reaches around you and secures the little belt around your waist. You watch as he tightens it not only twice, but three times, before he reaches for your hand and secures the microphone around it next.

“You know, I understand securing me to the moon but I think the microphone is a little much. I’m not going to go dropping it.”

“I’m sorry for being overcautious. I’m not a big fan of…stints that include hanging in the air for so long.” Eren responds, as tightens the strap around your hand again.

You pale. Of course he hates these type of things.

“No. No…I’m sorry. I totally forgot about that…I-I didn’t even realize that this might be really nerve wracking for you. We can take this part out if–”

“No, no. I like the set design. How about you just promise to come back to me in one piece?” Eren asks.

You sigh.

“Of course.”

And Eren gives you a gleaming, two dimpled smile in response, before he taps your side and walks over to his cue. As they send your little glider into the air, you can actually see the entire audience from the little break in the curtains at the top – and can spot a very annoyed Ricky James sitting front and center.

With pink wine stains on his shirt.

You look down at Eren, who looks up from his spot, and spares you one last thumbs up before the music stats.

You have to give your props to Eren’s team for working out the set exactly as he wanted it. With the ocean on the left, you in the moon on the right, and Jason and Penelope doing their little slow dance on the beach in the middle.

Eren: You live in my dream state Relocate my fantasy I stay in reality You live in my dream state Any time I count sheep That's the only time we make up, make up You exist behind my eyelids, my eyelids Now I don't wanna wake up

Eren: 20-20, 20-20 vision Cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision I wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind (Yeah), I said, I said I'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing You're the one that's always running through my daydream, I I can only see your face when I close my eyes

And surely enough, they lower you from your little vantage point behind the curtains to the bright flashing lights and the resounding cheers of the crowd – that are barely muffled out by your ear pieces – as you sing your part.

Y/N: Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I said I'm 'bout to go to war And I don't know if I'ma see you again

As Eren sings his second verse, they’re quick to lift the moon back up and off the stage in time for you to climb off – and for you and Eren to replace Jason and Penelope on the beach in the center.

You and Eren hadn’t really practiced this part, though in hindsight it was simple enough. You just had to keep leaning in until they dimmed the lights – to make it look like you and Eren were going to kiss each other.

Y/N: Can I get a kiss? (Can I get a kiss?) And can you make it last forever? (Oh, forever) I said I'm 'bout to go to war (Go to war) I don't know if I'ma see you again (See you again) Can I get a kiss? (Can I) And can you make it last forever? (Can you) I said I'm 'bout to go to war ('Bout to) And I don't know if I'ma see you again

It’s excruciating to do it. To pretend – and in that second, you decide you’re going to kiss him anyways. Because he wraps his hand too perfectly around your neck to pull you closer and instinctively closes his eyes.

And then it’s overwhelmingly embarrassing. Because the exact second you time moving forward is when Eren leans back, because they’ve pulled the curtains. And runs off to the side curtains, as you awkwardly stalk back.

You try to swallow down that pit of shame in your throat as he turns back towards you, handing you an ice cold water bottle.

“That was great! But was it really hot up there? Your face is all pink.” Eren asks.

“Uh, yeah. I kind of had a panic up there.”

Eren twists the cap off and instructs you to drink, biting cold enough to taper that burning heat in your cheeks, as he instinctively shakes his head.

“I said come back in one piece.”

“I am in one piece.” you grumble back, getting ready to go stalk off to your dressing room until you had to face him again four performances later.

Eren doesn’t follow when you make it all the way to the little room, as you lean back in the chair and resort to massaging your temples.

Too close. That was way too close.

“Hey?” Eren asks.

You can see Eren poking his head into your dressing room, bright green eyes curious as he looks down at you.

“What?” you ask.

“The answer is yes.” Eren responds.

You glare, in irritation.

“To what?”

Eren bends down, pressing a kiss right into the thrumming pulse of your temple.

“You asked me if you could get a kiss. Well really, you asked me seven times if you could get a kiss, but I’ll spare you the entire show.” Eren responds, tapping the frame of the door and giving you a bright smile before he steps back out.

You sigh. The quiet moment of hurt that you were holding on to was absolved the second he smiled at you. And multiplied into the biggest, searing feeling in your chest when he kissed you.

There’s seven people in your dressing room after the fact. And one of them is Satoru Gojo, who counted as an additional ten people, which is when you take the sign that it’s probably time to duck out of there.

You had three options – Connie and Eren who were having way too much fun with your special props, a group that had both Historia and Ymir in it, or Sukuna – who was standing by himself in the corner.

There was a very obvious choice.

He gives you a noncommittal nod as you walk up to his side and link your arm in with his. He’s nursing a tiny glass in his hand, which he offers to you. You know him well enough by now to know that it’s going to be some taste buds descreating drink, but decide to drink anyway.

And surely enough, it burns all the way down to your esophagus, making you physically recoil as you hand the glass back to him.

“Jesus. I feel bad for your liver.” you respond.

“I actually don’t drink that much anymore. My liver is just fine.” Sukuna responds.

“There’s no way. That just destroyed like…a quarter of your lobule.”

“What the fuck is a lobule?”

“The functional unit of the liver!” you respond.

If looks could kill, Sukuna would have murdered you then and there. It’s at that moment that Eren and Connie run up to you, Eren quickly placing his hands on your cheeks to angle your face up towards him and place the little crown on your head.

“Très magnifique!” Eren murmurs.

“Wow. Who taught you French, Ratatouille?”

“Does that count as a self-diss? You taught me French, ma lune.”

You lightly shove him in the side, as everyone reaches for their cues on the stage and you crawl to the revolving stage underneath with Eren and Sukuna. And surely enough, Levi and Gojo delivered well on their promise with their prop guy.

He perfectly replicated that god forsaken throne Scott was sitting on in that stupid magazine cover. You snag the little crown Eren placed on your head off to admire the work on it – the gold handiwork. You place your hands in the middle and test the fragileness, noting that it takes little to crack the pieces – before you place it back on your head.

“So, who was on the right? Eren or Lana?” you ask.

“I was on the right.” Eren responds.

The group of you flinch as the music starts blaring above and take it as a sign to stick your earpieces in. And right on timing with the chorus, you can hear the screaming get louder – which you’re positive is people just overreacting to the fact that Gojo’s the first person in the ensemble showcase when he shouldn’t even be in it in the first place – and tap your hands nervously on the handles.

I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team (whoa-whoa, whoa) I wanna be your endgame, endgame

“Sukuna. There’s pins right there, there’s no way she’s not going to jostle the crown off before she hands it to Lana.”

“Got it.” Sukuna responds, shuffling away as you look back up to Eren.

He looks down at you, tucking your hair behind your ear, which has your heart pounding in your throat.

“Pretty dress.” Eren whispers.

You give him a shrug, before laying down the fringe at your sides.

“Nice suit.” you respond.

“Eh. It’s kind of digging into my neck.” Eren responds.

You stand up, rocking back on your heels, as you turn to face him. You reach forward, reaching for the top buttons of his dress shirt and task yourself with unbuttoning them.

“You know, you could at least take me on a date first.” Eren grumbles.

You hum in response, giving him a smile, as you stop at the third button and reach forward to readjust the layers of his necklaces. His skin is soft and warm underneath your fingertips and it gives you an insanely inappropriate thought.

“What are you thinking?” Eren murmurs.

“Nothing.”

“You’re thinking something naughty.”

“Ew. You have such a disgusting choice of words, Eren.” you whine.

“What was it?”

“Nothing, Eren. I was thinking about how pale you are.” you respond, letting go of the chains and reaching back to sit in your little chair.

Eren reaches forward, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you back. He’s quick with his other hand, securing it around your waist and holding you steady against him. His lips hover right by your ear, the gravel of his whispering makes you nearly squirm.

“What were you thinking?” Eren asks.

“Nothing, Eren. Really.”

“I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen that look in your eyes before…and I know what it means. What were you thinking?” Eren asks.

You groan, squirming out of his embrace.

Where the hell did Sukuna get lost?

“I just thought about something that people would notice, that's all. But we don’t–”

“What was it?”

You groan, before tucking your hair behind your ears.

“I’m wearing red lipstick. And that’s a fairly…exposed patch of skin. People would notice if I–”

“If you kissed me. Alright, go ahead and do it then.” Eren responds, angling his neck closer to you.”

“Eren.”

“C’mon. It’s almost our turn. You have to be quick with it.” Eren responds, gesturing frantically with your hands.

You awkwardly step forward, placing your hands on the sides before you pinch your eyes shut and press a lingering kiss to his neck. You can feel Eren lightly tilt his head back and inhale sharply the second you make contact – but you chose to ignore it.

You pull back and examine the mark, though it’s rather faint. Eren clocks it fast enough, as he gestures with his hands again.

“Another one won’t hurt. C’mon.” Eren whispers.

“Okay, yeah.” you respond.

You press your lips to his neck again, this time earning you Eren’s hand squeezing into your side – where it was resting at your waist – as you pull back and admire the mark. You look back up at him, feeling an itching sensation all over as you give him an awkward smile.

“You guys are fucking insane, you know that?” Sukuna mutters.

“Sukuna! Where the fuck did you go?” you respond, angrily snatching the little pins from his hands and securing them into your hair.

You sit back down on the throne, as you hear the little countdown ringing in your ear, and prepare yourself to sing the last portion of the song. You can feel both of their hands on your shoulders – squeezing hard – as you lift the microphone to your lips.

Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah And you heard about me, oh I got some big enemies (hey) Big reputation, big reputation (yeah) Ooh, you and me, we'd be a big conversation, ah And I heard about you, ooh You like the bad ones too

You rustle the crown off of your head and hand it to Sukuna, who walks over to the edge of the stage and tosses it right to Lana in the front row. Who takes it in her hands and breaks it in half before throwing it behind her back.

I hit you like, "Bang" We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put 'em Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me And I can't let you go, your handprint's on my soul It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks So here's the truth from my red lips

I wanna be your endgame (endgame) I wanna be your first string (me and you) (first string) I wanna be your A-Team (be your A-Team now) I wanna be your endgame, endgame I wanna be your endgame (oh, I do) I wanna be your first string (first string) I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team) I wanna be your endgame, endgame

The last part is the most nerve wracking. You had to abandon your sweet post of sitting in between Eren and Mikasa at your table for your last performance of the night – which was going to be announced by Danny and Sareen.

It’s like sitting on pins and needles, getting your hair done and slipping into the sparkly but scratchy dress. And surely enough, when you wait on the edges of the curtain and watch them stage your set – of a grand piano and little star decals – they join you at your side. You can feel your hands shake, nearly dropping the trophy in your hands, as you spare them a glance.

They’re shorter than you remember and frankly, less intimidating too. That coupled with the fact that Danny has a bright pink eye and the slightest bit of dried blood around his nose.

“What happened to your face?” you sneer.

Danny rolls his eyes.

“Ask your boy-toy.” he responds.

You fight the urge to smile, and make a mental note that Eren deserves every bit of your praise when you see him next, as you turn your head back to the stage, where the announcer is presenting the highlights of your career on the back screen. And surely enough, the two of them awkwardly jostle their arms in with yours as the three of you walk out together.

You stare blankly out in the audience. And refuse to smile.

You can see Eren sitting front and center as he gives you the smallest thumbs up in support.

“One of our crowning achievements is getting to work with this lovely young lady right here, on some of our most famous albums, like The Lucky One. Please give a well deserved round of applause for the unstoppable Y/N L/N, who will finally be gracing us with her triple threat performance.” Sareen states.

You note the drag in her voice when she says the word finally. And you fight the acidic feeling that accumulates in your mouth as you’re suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you’re standing next to the two people you hate the most – who continue to take credit for the one thing that’s yours.

“Out of the three, Y/N has chosen to mimic the signing performance that awarded her this coveted prize. She will be playing her brand new song, vampire, on the piano. A true testament to all the work that the three of us put together as a team, in molding her into a skilled pianist.” Danny states, sticking his hand out to Sareen as the two of them walk off and take a seat right at the front.

You can feel your skin steaming as you place the award on the top of the piano and sit down at the keys. You’re able to catch Sukuna’s striking pink hair moving on your left – to the seats behind Danny and Sareen – as you take that as your cue to start performing.

Hate to give the satisfaction, asking how you're doing now How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about? Just what you wanted Look at you, cool guy, you got it I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly Gotta laugh at the stupidity

“Eren. You okay? You’re shaking the entire table.” Lana asks, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

Eren absentmindedly looks down and notices the nervous shaking in his leg, as he turns to his side and spares her a glance. He can note that Lana's concerned because this is starkly similar to the last time the two of them were here together.

When you were singing your isolating, heart-shattering piano ballad about him, while he was hanging his head in between his legs. After you had slapped him, after you had yelled at him after everything that had happened.

That was far from it. It was the way your hands were shaking on the piano keys that was stressing him out. He needed you to make it through the entire thing. Desperately.

“I’m nervous. I think she’s going to cry.” Eren whispers back.

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should've known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naive The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famefucker Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire

You’re crying.

Because all you can think about is how the two of them were just standing there, arms linked in with yours, in a moment that was supposed to be yours. That every moment that was supposed to be yours was theirs – and that even at the end of all of that, their still the one standing their proud with their careers when you had to suffer at the hands of it.

That taking your career was one thing, but taking advantage of the fact that you knew nothing was another. Because you were a teenager, who was so attached to her dream that she'd do anything to get it, especially when people at the top – were promising it to her.

All at the expense of Eren and his feelings. At the expense of your relationship.

You can feel your hands shaking, your vision entirely blurred as you feel the tears start to pour out of your eyes – your singing voice coming out entirely strained as you continue to push your keys on the piano. And you’re able to strain enough until you get right to the bridge and pause.

They had a responsibility to look out for you as an adult. And did the exaxt opposite.

You reach back to the slicked back bun and snag the pink ribbon that was secured into the little hair tie. The same pink ribbon that was dangling from your hair the day you were stranded in that godawful rain. And yank it straight out of your hair and wrap a little bow around the bottom of the award.

You wipe the wetness on your cheek, coming back with the slightest smudge on the back of your hand, before you press your hands into the keys and continue singing. The continuation has people rising out of their seats – and you don’t fail to notice that Eren’s the first one to do it – as you finish the song.

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't 'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand

I've made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should've known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naive The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famefucker Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire

You take the award and stand up from the bench of the piano to walk straight off the stage, directly to where Sareen and Danny are sitting in the front. Sukuna’s taken the hint to leave the open chair he was sitting in between them and retreats back to his original, as you place the award in between the two of them.

“Congratulations. I hope it was everything you ever wanted, assholes.” you seethe.

You slam the award down onto the open space between them, enough for them both to jump up in their seats and spill a glass of wine down the length of Sareen’s dress, as you angrily march back to your seat. And surely enough, Eren and Mikasa are waiting there with open arms, ready to wipe your glittery tears away.

And as the cameras drop and they cut to commercials for four minutes, you lean your head against Eren’s shoulder as Mikasa pours you a glass of water.

“So fucking good. So fucking amazing, Y/N you–” Eren whispers.

"Eren even punched him in the face earlier, Y/N! It looked like it really hurt." Mikasa murmurs.

You look up at Eren, and he's grinning so hard, that you can't even fight the urge to not smile back.

"Why'd you punch him?" you ask.

"You slapped Scott Clarkson for me. Why am I not allowed to punch Danny for you?" Eren asks.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and look to your left to find Hange and Levi standing at your side, which really only brings on a more powerful stream of tears. Levi instinctively opens up his arms as you lean against his shoulder instead, Eren standing closeby with Sukuna at his side now.

“Was that everything you wanted Hange?” you groan.

Hange smiles.

“And more, kid. I, uh. Actually have something for you.” Hange responds.

“What’s that?” you ask.

Hange gestures to Connie at the side, as he produces a small, golden trophy in Hange’s hands.

“I really don’t give a shit about this anymore. S’kind of how it goes with this type of thing. But, I know this award, this one in my hands specifically meant the world to you back in the day, so I want you to have it.” Hange murmurs.

You frown.

“Hange. You can’t just give that to me.” you respond.

“You gave yours away because it gave you more pain than it was worth. Mine did the same for me at the time too. But, it gives me joy to give it back to you, because really, you deserved it. Back then, but even now too.”

You take the little golden trophy in your hands, noting that it’s much smaller and really not even as shiny as the one that they had just handed you, and press it close to your chest.

“Hange, thank you so much. You have no idea what this even means to me.” you whisper, as you wrap your arms around their neck.

Hange spares Eren a glance over the shoulder and gives him a big thumbs up, coupled with Levi’s approving smile.

It’s the rare times that Eren’s overthinking habit comes in handy. When he’s able to think ahead and fix things before they happen.

“I have an idea, kid.” Hange responds.

Levi and Hange give you a three day break when you get back to set. You’re not sure what exactly it was that came out of you when you did your last performance, but it was almost like it drained the life out of you. Eren nearly had to drag you back onto that plane and consequently, to your room, when you made it back to the set.

He thinks that you’ve finally let go of what you’ve been holding on to. And that you can finally move forward now.

You told him that Marco must have been haunting him overtime for the past few days, which earned you a hearty laugh from him.

And surely enough, on the fourth day, you’re able to muster your legs down to the kitchen – to a group of well meaning cheers from the group of them – as you read the little slots on the schedule pasted on the fridge. And surely enough, Levi was going to throw you right back into the thick of it.

Wednesday, April 6th, 8:00 AM

Eren Head Decapitation

It’s a stupid caption. If you didn’t know what it meant, you would even laugh at it.

But you had read ahead already – and knew that it meant that it was finally time for you and Eren to get that kiss scene out of the way.

next part linked here

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanloll @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

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jeansllvr · 1 year

Text

— Show Me Off

+ streamer!kenma x fem!reader

summary: after keeping your relationship with kenma a secret for over 3 years, you both think it's time to announce the news.

notes: this was longer than I intended to be my bad 💀, I only know a few games MAX so I'm tryna work on that, this was my first time writing/publishing my writing works so please bear with me on that 🙏🏾

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When you first started dating Kenma you had absolutely no idea he was a famous streamer. His first time bringing it up was 7 months into your relationship.

"Kenma what do you want to eat?" You said making your way from the kitchen to the master bedroom, pausing in the door frame. "I was thinking alfredo pasta with baked chicken but I'm done for whatever."

"That sounds fine my love, anything you make is gonna be delicious anyways." He said, looking up from his phone to shoot you a smile.

You smiled and made a 'hum' sound as you walked back out.

After you took out the ingredients you also took out your phone and made your way to youtube.

You had a habit of turning on one of your favorite streamers/artists whenever you needed to get work done because somehow, it always made working much faster.

As you were scrolling through the recommended page, you noticed Kenma in one of the videos thumbnail. Letting curiosity kill the cat, you pressed on the video to see what it was about.

And as much to your surprise, your boyfriend of 7 months, was streaming to over 1 million people. Even if this video was old it still blew your mind how you never noticed your boyfriend was a damn streamer.

Setting your phone down you head back into the master bedroom, to have your boyfriend confess to his sins.

"So... You just weren't gonna tell me about you being a famous influencer?"

Looking up from his phone, Kenma took a while to really understand what you meant. "What are you- Oh.. Yeah, my bad."

"My bad? You kept this little secret off yours for 7 months and all I get is a 'my bad'". Your voice getting a bit more high-pitched at the end to mock Kenma.

He chuckled a bit before saying, "I honestly forgot to tell you, my love. I didn't really think it mattered that much."

"I mean it doesn't.. but it would have been nice to know."

He got up from his side of the bed, making his way towards you. When he reached you, he snaked his hands around your waist before kissing you.

"Sorry, I'll let you know next time."

Even though your eyes rolled to appear annoyed, the smirk on your face said otherwise. "Yeah, yeah, whatever.

୨⎯ Present Day⎯୧

"I think I'm ready." Was the first thing that was said by you as you were on Kenma's lap.

Pausing the CoryxKenshin video playing on the tv, he looks down at you, "For what exactly?"

"To announce I'm your girlfriend to your followers."

That topic wasn't brought up so often, after you found out about Kenma's career, he made sure that nobody would know of you if that's what made you comfortable.

It wasn't that you were uncomfortable with the attention, it's just that you weren't really used to it and you decided you needed to warm up to it step by step.

Kenma, understanding it all too well, agreed with you that nobody had to know until you were 100% ready.

Guess that today was that day.

"You sure? Like 100% sure? Don't work yourself up if you're not ready, baby."

"Don't worry I'm not! I do think I'm ready and besides, it can't be a secret for long. We're already 3 years into our relationship and nobody but close friends and family know." You said, sitting up so you two could be eye to eye.

"True," He gave you a quick peck on the lips. "Then we'll do it tomorrow, since I was already planning on streaming that new game."

You simply nodded your head, going right back to resting position on his lap, as the video plays once more.

୨⎯ The Next Day⎯୧

"Stay off to the side until I announce you okay my love?"

"A demanding man today I see." Sarcasm lacing your voice, as you started poking him.

Even though he shook his head and rolled his eyes, you could still see the sly smirk spread across his face. "Oh whatever menace."

Your laughing started to cease as you saw he had started the stream, now it was time to get quiet.

It took a few minutes but eventually more and more people started joining the stream. You were still taken aback by just how many people there were watching him, watching you.

To get your mind off of that though, you decided to read the comments off screen.

@gloharchive: heyyy kenma!!

@plazafolres: watching this stream > studying

@kenmasear: HEYYY

@shoyosunshine: WHAT ARE WE PLAYING TODAY KENMA??

You hear light chuckling next to you, turning you see Kenma also reading the comments.

"Hey to you all. Donations already? Thank y'all so much."

You looked down towards his right hand, he must have taken your hand into his while you were lost reading the comments. You gently traced your thumb up and down his pointer finger before looking up again—as he began to talk once more.

"Yeah we're gonna be playing that new Amanda the Adventurer game. Alot of y'all on twitter have been bugging me about it since it came out." He used his left hand to go to the game's home-screen.

@kenmakozime: WE ALL CHEERED!

@cupipetals: y'all think he's gonna be scared shitless??

@ivanghw: @cuoipetals oh most deff

"But before that.. uh I have some news for y'all," He turned towards you, using his eyes to ask one final time 'are you sure?'

You thought about it for an amount before looking back up to face him and with a sharp nod pushing all those worries down to focus on the now, focus on the fact that people will finally know who Kenma Kozume belongs to.

He smiled once more before turning back to the camera, checking one more time before announcing it.

@kenmasoneandonly: announcement??? getting kinda nervous

@miyatwins_lover: TELL US TELL US TELL US TELL US!!!

@kenmaluvrr: are you filming with shoyo or kuroo???

@ivan: STOP READING AND TELL US? HELLO?

"Alright. Alright. I'll tell y'all now, you demons." Pulling your hand into the camera's view, he kisses it while maintaining eye contact.

You break it by going to read the comments again, noticing how fast they're going than before.

@kenmasoneandonly: WTF?? WTF WHO IS THAT???

@meg_megan: DAMN.

@ricooyat: HUH?? KENMA PULLS??

Before you could look at him again, he pulls you onto his lap so the stream can see your face. You weren't expecting it so you flash a quick and awkward smile.

"Hey.. y'all." Stiffly waving towards the camera.

"Go easy on her guys, she's a lil camera shy." Kenma says with a straight teasing tone as he pokes your back.

You manage to hit his shoulder. "Stop your dork, at least lemme introduce myself first." Playfully rolling your eyes, "So inconsiderate."

"Oh my apologies your highness."

"Thank you," Whipping your hair in his face, "Anyways, hello! I'm Y/n, nice to finally meet y'all."

You began to read the comments again.

@SCORPIOGEMS: AHHH OMG SHE'S SO PRETTY??

@kenmaslefttoe: congratulations! (I'm dying right now)

@hshramint: do y'all see the cute banter they do?? I can't.

@meganthestallionshorse: AWHH WHAT

@hannisdrops: stop she's actually so freaking cute I need her socials

@kenmaslove: Y/N I'M ON MY KNEES WAIT.

Kenma let you read as many as you wanted before starting the game, you gave the occasional 'thank you's and flirty replies back. You started to forget the worries you had about coming on stream.

You found the comments amusing and Kenma's reaction to the flirty ones made you bust into a fit of laughter.

After answering some questions about you and your relationship with Kenma, you made sure to give everybody your socials before deciding it was time to leave and let Kenma do his own thing.

"I'll be in the living room if you need me."

"Alright my love, I love you." He reached his hand out to your chin, guiding you to his lips and you shared a tender kiss.

"I love you more."

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oreharuuu · 1 year

Text

Yandere Ateez: they became your fans

Pairing: Yandere!ot8 (individual) x content creator! reader

Warnings: All works are fictional, these works do not portray how the boys will act in real life. Stalking, obsessive behavior, yandere themes.

Main Taglist: @starillusion13 @cqndiedcherries @wooyoungjpg @miriamxsworld

A/N: finally my first HC! On every member is a YT channel that somewhat inspired on what content i imagine reader would do, but if you want to imagine it yourself go ahead ;)

Hongjoong | MUA!reader

Hongjoong stumbled upon your channel when a video of yours popped up in his recommendations. It seems like you're a makeup artist, based on the thumbnail and the topic you're discussing.

‌Hongjoong was interested, based on the fact that you're talking about vintage makeups. Plus, you're beautiful.

‌Never will he imagine to be so invested in your content and yourself that he watched the limited videos on your YouTube channel numerous times, smiling to himself as you talk so passionately about makeup in general.

‌Searching for your social media, he's surprised to find that you're already a pretty famous MUA, working with many famous celebrities, even a few of the idol groups in Korea!

‌He scrolls a few of your Instagram posts, liking almost everything (except the ones where you're posing too closely with someone else). He can't help but feel jealous, wanting to work with you for a photoshoot. Or even better...as Ateez personal MUA.

‌For now, he's content on monitoring all of your social media. Saving pictures and videos of yourself trying vintage makeups, always seeing your Instagram stories and liking them, and monitoring your every move on where you're working.

‌He left a few comments here and there on his private account, complimenting your makeup skills and maybe at how pretty you are.

‌One night, when he's working in his studio, he received a notification. From you.

‌Opening his account, his breath was taken away when he realized you actually responded to him! On one if not the many comments on your Instagram left by him. The giddiness bubbling inside him can't even stop him from slamming his table with excitement a little too hard.

‌From then on, he'll always comment on every social media you have. He might up his antics by opening his own social media account after talking with the agency. Hey, he needs to flaunt his looks if he wants a shot with you.

‌Maybe he'll give hints here and there about a certain MUA that could work with them for a photoshoot, or even better when they're on tour. They just need a little bit of talking!

‌When they actually did manage to hire you for one of their photoshoots, boy did Hongjoong ascended to heaven. He can't help but stare at you from the distance, wiping away the sweats forming on his palms as he smiles at you.

‌"Hey, there! You must be Hongjoong."

‌Man would shudder at how you said his name so easily, trying to not make himself look like a fool. He gripped his thighs as he felt your hands brushing his bangs away, moving his head to the side as you brushed some eyeshadow on him.

‌And if you compliment anything about him? Looks? Style? His rapping? Be ready to have a stalker of an idol that would do anything to make you his.

Seonghwa | ASMRtist!reader

Let's be real, man is probably lurking around YouTube and watching every kind of ASMR videos so he could take a lil bit of inspiration for his own.

‌And when he finds your channel? He'll watch every video you have and make sure to play it before he went to sleep. He likes your voice, it's soothing to him. Too bad you didn't show your full face, only from the mouth downwards. But he'll take it.

‌He'll turn on notifications, subscribed to you, maybe even give your Patreon a little visit; whatever he needs to do to support you.

‌He'll take inspiration from your videos and do it on his. Nothing to flashy, just subtle things that somewhat relates back to your style of ASMR.

‌And if you do ASMR roleplays? Seonghwa would be watching each and every one of them, especially the ones where you're giving personal attention to him. Brushing your hair, skincare routine, taking your face measurements; whatever it is Seonghwa will always eat it up.

‌When you reached 500K subscribers on YouTube, Seonghwa is over the moon when he realized your new video shows your face as a whole. He'll pinch himself, slapping his cheeks a few times, before yelling to his pillow as he feels excitement running through his body. He'll memorize everything, pausing every now and then to calm himself down when you smile at him. He doesn't care that the video is already watched by more than 90K viewers, to Seonghwa you're only making these videos for him.

‌Now every time he's watching, he can't help but focus more on your face, taking screenshots here and there when he thinks you're being cute or wholesome. He'll save it on a separate folder, just for you.

‌When KQ asked him to make another ASMR content, he'll try profusely to make a collaboration between you and him. He noticed your newest video was one where you're doing public ASMR in Korea. There's no way he'll let this chance slide.

‌And when he finally meets you, man would be fanboying so hard that he'll stutter his way through his words.

‌"I just can't believe I'm doing this with you! I've been a big fan of your channel since forever!"

‌He'll try to do ASMR with you besides him, but no promises. Seonghwa will glance every now and then as you talk to the camera, memorizing your face as best as he can.

‌He'll act gentlemanly in front of you, but he'll steal any little trinkets that reminds him of you if you bring any items with you. Or even better, when he's actually inside your studio or apartment to record the collab.

‌He'll subtly steal more than one item, proceeds to place it on a separate shelve so it looks like a small shrine dedicated to you.

Yunho | streamer!reader

Yunho stumbled upon your channel when he's scrolling mindlessly on his phone, waiting for the other members as they got their makeup done.

‌He watched a few of your short clips on YouTube, smiling every now and then when you did something cute and funny.

‌Thankfully you have your own channel containing short clips from your streams, so even though he can't watch live because of his busy schedule he can watch back whatever it is you're doing without a hassle.

‌At first he'll just watch your streams casually, watching when he has free time or when he's bored. But then it devolves into more of a mandatory thing for him to watch, so he'll make time between his schedule to watch your weekly streams.

‌He's getting his hair done? His stylist is also watching you. He just finished performing? He'll watch it when he's eating. He just arrived at the dorm after a photoshoot? He'll quickly clean up and watch your stream with a tired smile.

‌When he's feeling particularly brave, he'll join your chat and comment here and there to catch your attention. Usually when your eyes are away from the chat, he'll stay quiet and just watch. But when it's more of a interactive stream (cooking, trivia games, etc), he'll try to catch your attention by donating little to big sums of money.

‌One day, fate seems to like him that day. He commented per usual on your stream that already started a few minutes ago, not hoping that you'll actually read it.

‌"Ah! Thank you for your donation, Yunhohoho! 'I've been watching your streams since a few months ago and I'm hooked. I hope you can be more successful in the future with lots of adoring fans by your side.' Aww, that's so sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words, and thank you again for watching and supporting my streams."

‌He literally died on the spot when you finished your sentence.

‌After this, he becomes more obsessed to be the only one that you'll usually notice. He'll joined your highest tier, always commenting here and there and participating in active streams.

‌Always monitoring your social media, supporting you when you're nominated in any category by spamming post on his alt account, which is basically his fanpage of you.

‌If a fan ask him what he likes to do on his free time or who he likes to watch, he'll go on a long rant about how he likes your streams and how atiny should watch them too. In the end, fans will make assumptions about you and him which only fuels his fantasy about actually being your partner in real life.

Yeosang | artist!reader

Yeosang finds your channel when you had only a small following of 5k subscribers. You had only uploaded not more than 20 videos yet he's already entranced by how good your drawing is.

‌He likes the vibe your videos seems to capture, calm and soothing with cute kalimba background music as you draw. Then again, he stayed because sometimes your voice will appear in the videos.

‌Your voice sounds addicting to him, sometimes making him repeat a few parts where he can imagine you smiling softly as you tell short stories of your life.

‌Not only drawing, you like to include a few unboxing videos of your art supplies as you explain what purpose they do. Yeosang doesn't know much about art, but he'll gladly stay to hear your voice soothes him to sleep.

‌After finding your channel, he'll look into your art account, quickly following it and liking almost all of your posts. Which then turn him to your personal Instagram account, making him a bit disappointed when he saw you didn't post any pictures of your face.

‌He'll gladly watch and comment all of your content, closing his eyes and imagining himself with you as you make your videos.

‌Maybe he'll join in here and there with a few comments on some videos, praising your work and your skills to make you happy.

‌If you have a shop where you sell your own handmade things, he'll buy every one of them to support you. He'll always be your first buyer if you upload a new item on your shop, hoping that at least you'll see that he will always be your number one fan.

‌Yeosang's wish seems to be granted when a package of your items was sent to him. He didn't expect to receive a small note containing your appreciation towards his support, and an art print of something you're not even selling on your shop.

‌"Hello, there! Thank you so much for always supporting my small business, especially when I'm only a small creator. I noticed that you always bought every item I sell, so as a thank you gift, I'm giving you one of my prints that I'm currently not selling. As a special thank you gift, only for you <3"

‌Only for him? Well, that's the only thing you could do to make him the most special person in the world.

‌He'll stare at your note for a few minutes before quickly placing it elsewhere safe so he could place them inside a frame. Of course, so he could hang it on his wall like a prized gift.

‌After this, he'll constantly comment on your videos, even requesting you to draw hehetmon on one of your videos. Which would only make the poor man feel euphoric when in the next video, you drew hehetmon on a small paper before deeming it to be cute as you placed it on your wall.

‌Now Yeosang would feel like you're actually noticing him by giving him these special privileges that no one seems to receive, only pushing him more towards his own delusion.

San | lifestyle vlogger!reader

Your channel pops up every time he opens YouTube, yet he never really see it since your content seems very mainstream. Then again, curiosity peeked his interest when he saw how much views you gained just for an upload about one week ago.

‌Let's just say San went into a downward spiral after he watched a few of your popular videos.

‌It all seems...domestic. With you recording all of your activities from morning till night, inside and outside of your small apartment.

‌He can't stop watching it, and eventually turned more addicted when he accidentally pressed the caption and realized you made subtitles to each videos. Now he can understand you even if you don't speak!

‌With his more hectic and active activities as an idol, he likes to watch your videos to make him relax, imagining himself being besides you as you cook your breakfast, unbox new cat toys, maybe even eat dinner together like on of your videos. Then you wouldn't be so lonely!

‌He'll monitor every little thing in your videos. Picture frames, your bedroom, even what brands you usually use in your videos. Deep down, he has this gnawing feeling of wanting to search where you live as well.

‌He'll smile when you make small mistakes on your videos, cooing at you when you do cute things with your cat. Every little thing that you do? San will always make sure to repeat that part of the videos numerous times.

‌If you live in South Korea, San will make sure to research every place you include on your videos to visit the place himself. Cafes, stores, parks; whatever it is, he'll make sure to visit if he can and imagine himself that he's also there with you besides him.

‌That urge to not search where you're actually living? Poof! Gone! Especially after he finds out you're living in the same country as him. It's like fate heard his hidden urges and wanted him to actually find where you're living instead of hiding it.

‌He'll work hard. Maybe he'll ask the other members to help him, but he'll never tell them on what they're actually helping him on.

‌After months of hard work and pausing his research because of his schedule, San will be so happy when he eyes the apartment building you're living in. San could walk inside, knock on your door, and meet you instantly. But he calms himself down because he knows he doesn't want to scare you.

‌He'll wait patiently, staking out of your apartment to wait for you. Especially at night when you usually record yourself going to a convenience store for a night snack.

‌His wishes were granted when he noticed a figure exiting the building, the familiar small camera held by their hands as they walked leisurely towards the near convenience store.

‌He'll jump at the chance, secretly following you with his disguise but keeping a safe distance so you don't act suspicious towards him.

‌He felt his breath taken away when he saw your face for the first time, trying to not stare as you hum and pick snacks and drinks. He can't actually believe it! He's here within walking distance from you!

‌His desire to be with you grows even more when he noticed his figure in one of your videos. His face is blurred, you of course always doing this especially if you're out in public, but he's actually there! It almost feels like you know he's an idol, and you're protecting him.

‌Now, San will always follow you around if he can. Changing his disguise every time so your fans wouldn't notice it's actually the same guy all the time.

Mingi | camper!reader

Mingi heard of your channel a few times in passing, but he watched one of your videos when it pops up on his page. He's never really much of an outdoors person, but he'll watch your videos like he's actually one.

‌He'll save his favorite videos, usually the ones where there's cats, but almost every video you upload he'll like and comment on it. He really admires how you still managed to record at different views whilst still doing your thing. You're basically a pro at it.

‌There's tons of videos for him to watch, and as time pass by he'll slowly be absorbed by your videos. He'll try to hide a smile when he notices cute things that you do, from the small sounds you make when you're angry or your expression when cats arrive at your camping site.

‌He doesn't really have any camping plans in the future, but he'll listen intently to whatever you're explaining, nodding his head as if he understands anything but a small fraction of what you've just explained.

‌If he can, he'll visit the camping areas where you've recorded and take pictures there. It satisfies the growing feeling inside him where he wants to be your fan. Your most precious fan.

‌Of course, he'll keep it subtle. He didn't want any dating rumors to go rampant. Or did he 👀

‌He'll make his outfits match a little to close to the outfit you wore a few days ago, posing in certain areas where you've camped, maybe throw in a little similarities of posts where he's basically taking the same picture as the one you did.

‌And all his work is paid off when he joined in on one of rare moments you went live on your channel. It went normal at first, Mingi spamming comments about how he likes you your content before you read out a comment that made his heart skipped a beat.

‌"'Unnie, do you know Mingi from Ateez? His recent post is really similar to the ones you've made' I actually noticed because of my friends! They told me a few days ago and I think it's really funny. I'm now an atiny because of his rapping! He's so cool actually, can't believe it took me that long to discover them."

‌Man would die and go to heaven if he's actually the reason you started stanning them.

‌He'll boast about it to the other members, basically squealing in delight when he noticed the likes and comments if he post anything to the official Instagram account. Shoving it to their faces, wearing a proud smile as he flushed with delight.

‌"Look, they think I'm cool with this outfit! I should wear styles like this more often!"

Wooyoung | chef!reader

Your channel was recommended by one of his friends in passing, saying that he could try a few recipes from your channel if he wants to make homemade bentos and stuff.

‌Wooyoung was intrigued by your channel, liking the calm atmosphere and the many delicious food you've cooked throughout the videos. He couldn't help but think that you're cooking this food for someone else.

‌But nevertheless, he pushed back that thought and enjoyed more of your content, saving a few videos to a playlist where he'll try those recipes later.

‌You never talked nor show your face in videos, but he appreciated the small noise you sometimes let out or how pretty your hands are.

‌Overtime, he starts to get curious about you. Why are you hiding your identity? Where exactly do you live? Are you cooking this food for your significant other? Questions like these plague his mind more and more as he started to not focus while recording or training.

‌Thus, making him do research on every little thing that might help him on finding out who you are.

‌He's looking at the room you always record in, taking in the details like decorations and photos around. Searching up brands of utensils that you're always using, maybe even clothing brands that felt familiar to him. But for now, the only small piece of evidence he could go on with is the bracelet you're always wearing and the small mole near your thumb. Which was not a lot.

‌When he thought all of his hard work was all for nothing, he stumbled upon a video. An old one, maybe two years ago, showing a short clip of a food related TV show that Wooyoung never heard off. His gut was telling him to click and watch the video, exhaling heavily as the video starts off with a loud man explaining some kind of food that he never really heard off.

‌Then...it happened. His heart started to beat drastically when the camera pans to a person, smiling shyly as they introduced themselves before starting to explain on how to make said food.

‌His eyes bulged out of his head when he noticed the bracelet you're wearing. Pausing and going back for a few times, Wooyoung smiled to himself when he noticed the apparent similarity, laughing in happiness when he noticed the small mole near the thumb. It's you.

‌Quickly trying to find some sort of social media accounts, he's delighted to find out an Instagram account where you're more open to show yourselves and posting more personal things like family gathering and your hobbies. Wooyoung didn't know why you're adamant on hiding yourself on your cooking channel, but he couldn't help the giddy feeling that he's the only one who knows of your real identity.

When he knows you have your own small cafe near the agency, he'll make sure to have an empty day where no one could disturb him whilst he visited you. Making sure to hide his identity, Wooyoung will wait outside of the cafe, trying to find any signs of you.

‌And when he sees you there, placing newly baked goods whilst talking with your coworker, Wooyoung slowly walked inside and held his breath as you brushed your hands on your apron before walking to him.

‌You're beautiful. Breathtaking. It made him stare at you like an idiot before he quickly apologized, heart beating wildly as you only laughed and waved your hand.

‌"Don't worry, makes me happy that my beauty is appreciated. Anyways, what would you like to order? We have a new food menu for breakfast, or would you like to try our new crepe cake?"

‌Wooyoung smiles beneath his mask, wanting to brush away the small strands of hair that covered your face.

‌"I don't know. What do you recommend?"

Jongho | harpist!reader

Jongho likes to scroll through social media when he's bored, especially when the group has no schedules for the next few days. That's how he finds your channel, when he's bored out of his mind and wanted to find some relaxing song to help him sleep.

‌One of your videos interested him, curious since he doesn't find a lot of harp covers of songs in his timeline. And boy did he fell in love!

‌He wanted to sleep but he can't take his eyes off of you as you played the harp so eloquently. His tiredness went away as the song finished, and Jongho wanted to watch more of your videos.

‌He liked the beautiful covers you posted, but he stayed because of your beauty and grace as you played through numerous songs. Sometimes letting out a soft smile as he tried to calm his beating heart.

‌After that, he'll always play your videos when he needs to relax or just to have something playing in the background while he gets work done.

‌He'll continue to like and comment on your videos, praising your work and maybe stalk through your social media accounts to see what you're doing.

‌When a community post was made asking what songs you should cover on your monthly live streams, Jongho jokingly commented one of the more popular songs in Ateez's discography, Star 1117. He knows there's a small chance for him to be noticed by you, yet there's this small hope deep inside of him that you might see it.

‌And when he tuned in to watch your live stream? What a surprise it will be when he finds you're already playing through the song that he requested. You smiled sheepishly when you made small mistakes, but Jongho was so entranced by you that he can't even identify the mistakes.

‌"Sorry to whoever requested this song, I'm trying my best! It's a beautiful song really, but I haven't practiced that much for songs I don't really know. But! What I do know is that the group that released this song has a really good discography. Maybe not what my demographics like to listen, but maybe a few songs you guys might like!"

‌If Jongho didn't explode by your words just now, he'll certainly will when you uttered those next words.

‌"And the youngest one, Jongho? He has such a beautiful voice that I listen to his covers a few days ago. A really talented man!"

‌Jongho just passed away as he tried to muffle his screams to his pillow, ignoring the looks the other members were giving him. You! You just complimented him!

‌He's basically on cloud nine for the next few days, playing the available stream over and over again as he replayed that special part.

‌Now his online presence is more active than ever, commenting numerous praises and liking your videos even when you just posted a few seconds ago. Deep down, he wants to be the only one you remember. The special fan who's always by your side and supporting you through your journey.

‌Whenever you're doing your monthly streams, Jongho was elated to see you smile when you see his username commenting every now and then.

‌"Ah, you're an atiny as well? I recently joined the fandom because you requested Star 1117, so thanks a lot!"

‌Without your knowledge, the one behind all of this is actually the same artist in the same group, smiling and patting himself on the back as he basically called himself your number one fan and vice versa.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #yandere ateez #yandere #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

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ganondoodle · 6 months

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you know i think i had gotten kinda lucky finding so many great to ok totk reviews bc i went to search yesterday (my god is youtube shit at searches now man, i want to see stuff for what i searched for not 20 things other people watched) but there truly is some utter shit there

i went through some that boiled down to angry gamer mad about game (kinda glad really bc seeing someone that actually is like that it makes me feel less like im doing the same xD) one of which saying the only reason the building is in there is bc they were trying to copy ... FORTNITE??? and another ones big point was that .. the graphics and animations are the same which ... just sounds like one of those pokémon people angry that a new game doesnt redo every single model and animation for 400 NPCs

(also one with a one step away from porn thumbnail that later i saw someone else talk about and apparently og video was about zelda being ..... too ... woke ... actually made me a little curious bc what the fuck could possibly be woke in totk?? sonia having slightly darker skin????? but theres no way im giving someone like that views lol)

and a huge portion is videos making fun of bad reviews for totk ...... which i dont think i need to explain why thats not worth anyones time lol

i find it sad how hard it is to find more diverse kind of people making totk reviews since id love to hear someone that may understand and know more than i do talk about it, new perspective and all that (also since most reviews i found good are really taking everything at face value with no one really looking at how the whole hyrule kingdom vs evil desert man is kinda ... not cool) but then again i know how youtube can be and how extreme some hardcore totk defenders are so i probably wouldnt want to get into all that either :U

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #kinda #i did find a few from poc but they largely didnt really end up saying anything and were more of what the game is #or the audio was actively hurting my ears #i know not everyone can afford good audio equipment but theres a limit to what i can listen too #:(#im gonna keep looking every now and then and update the big post when i do find soemthign thats at least fine #i know it might sound like im obsessed with this but its just kinda good to hear others talk about it #and it can point out stuff i didnt realize before either #both positive and negative

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glade-constellation · 2 months

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We try to stay away from interacting with drama, as it can be very stressful on us, but yesterday’s TSAMS episode was genuinely upsetting and it’s something I feel needs to be talked about.

TW for alcoholism and suicide, do not continue reading if you feel you cannot handle these topics!!!

(I would like to state that I am not just throwing my opinion around. These are both topics I have dealt with in my life, either from someone I know or myself. I have personal experience with these issues. These opinions are based off of real events in my life that I had to go through.)

Let’s start with how the episode was set up. The thumbnail is funny, the title is obviously mean to get people’s attention. Looks like a normal TSAMS episode where Miku does some weird shit and leaves. Starts out pretty funny. Sun randomly is being given a child and Miku is trying to get him to pull some friends to lovers speedrun that is failing.

There are no TWs on screen anywhere that potentially triggering topics were about to be discussed. They just started talking about alcoholism and suicide.

They made it look like a completely normal episode and gave no warnings that heavy topics would be discussed. They used a joke video to talk about things such as alcoholism and suicide.

That is 100% not how you handle a situation like this. The VAs all have social media, and are in the TSBS discord server. If they were having a problem with people forcing their headcanons to be made canon, they have the ability to use these online platforms and talk about these situations as adults. Literally a kind PSA to the fandom would have done the trick.

“Hey TSAMS Community! We just wanted to give you all a quick reminder that, while headcanons are nice to have, they aren’t factual to the canon. Bullying and harassing others because they don’t agree with you is bad etiquette, and creates an unsafe space with in the fandom. Please be considerate to others around you, even if have different opinions!”

Post that on their social medias and boom. You don’t have to make an entire episode to explain one quick fix! Not a single TW needed! When you are an online content creator with a decent sized fan base, you have to step up and be able to handle situations in an adult way. Using a roleplay YouTube video was just not the way to handle this situation.

Now, Miku is supposed to represent the TSAMS community. Sun was representing the TSAMS staff. When Sun was talking to Miku, it was really the VAs of the show harshly criticizing the audience for having opinions. This is a disgusting way of treating your fans, especially with the topics being talked about. Like I said earlier, you need to be able to be the adult in the situation. You need to treat your fans with respect or they will stop watching your show.

Next, the topics of alcoholism and suicide. With the way the situation was presented, it could definitely be read as Sun becoming an alcoholic. A bottle of wine every day after having never drank before? To a human, that’s a lot of drinking, and a lot of sudden drinking. Until Sun explained that a bottle to us is a glass to him, it sounded like he was getting drunk every night. That would definitely make him an alcoholic. Even then, small drinks each day can eventually lead into addiction. There was valid reason for the fans to believe he was becoming an alcoholic. If you guys didn’t want your fans to see Sun as an alcoholic, then why even turn it into a possible plot point in the first place? It would have been better to just completely dodge the situation if you didn’t want it happening. “How would we address all the wine bottles in the house?” Easy, it’s sparkling grape juice. It’s a fancy cider. It’s some sort of non-alcoholic beverage packaged as one to make it fancier and cost more/sell better.

The part of the episode that upset me the most was how the handled the talk about suicide. Specifically when Earth and Sun were talking about “there are signs that people show when they are suicidal and Sun wasn’t showing anything”.

Sometimes there are signs. Sometimes it’s obvious when people aren’t okay. But it is 100% incorrect to say that every single person who has contemplated suicide, attempted suicide, or died by suicide showed all of the same exact signs of how they were feeling. Not everyone is going to show the same signs. Some signs are so minor that they don’t look like signs at the time. Sometimes signs are overlooked because people close to the person believe the person will tell them if something is wrong, so obviously nothing is wrong since they haven’t said anything. Sometimes the person who is hurting doesn’t want people to know they’re hurting, and they hide it as best they can so people won’t notice. Yes, there are signs, but those signs are so rarely actually caught and treated because people don’t want to believe another people would ever actually go that far.

Sun is a character we have seen past suicidal tendencies from. Often times, these urges or emotions come back, even is situations that don’t seems stressful to others. We as fans were being told that a character with past suicidal tendencies was showing concerning behavior most would associate with relapse (drinking alcohol, becoming more reclusive, etc.).

Calling your fans crazy and gross for being concerned for someone’s life is disgusting behavior.

Saying that the fans are projecting their own problems and then making fun of them for doing so, especially when what they’re projecting is suicidal tendencies? Downright fucking deplorable.

Once again, all you guys needed to do was actually use your social medias.

“Hey guys, we know you’re all worried about Sun right now. We just want to clear up a few misconceptions. As shown in [list of specific episodes], Sun is not dealing with any sort of mental health issues right now. He’s perfectly fine! Please remember that, while it’s okay to have headcanons, your headcanons are not actual canon and are not something to fight other people over.”

That would have stopped both problems addressed in the video without doing so in a harmful and completely unnecessary way. What you guys did was disrespectful, rude, and insensitive. Especially to your fans that are dealing with these things.

When you want to handle talking about heavier topics, you have to be an adult about it. Especially with the big following that TSAMS has. There are moments where you guys have to step out from behind the characters and straight up address the community.

I’m sure that are still a few minor things about the episode that I could talk about, but these are the main things. The fans had every right to believe what they did with the evidence given. Turning it into content for a joke video was not the way to handle this.

#🌟 Ten Talks #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #cw alcohol #tw alcohol #cw suicide #tw suicide

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winterbuckwild · 7 months

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New Fic!

Based on this post, part 1 now up! READ ON Ao3 HERE

Title: I Can Be Flexible

Rating Mature (eventually)

Pretty much nothing hurts (except Eddies back) pure fluff. Streamer/Youtuber AU.

Eddie groaned as he switched the camera off, stretching his leg out from where it had been folded on the seat under him. He shook his foot pathetically as the fuzzy pins and needles feeling took over his lower leg.

That was the issue when he really got into the game he was streaming; he crunched himself up on his expensive ergonomic gaming chair, completely nulling any actual orthopaedic benefits that had sounded so good at the time. No more back pain, no more cricked neck, no more knee aches.

Lies.

When the feeling returned to his foot enough for him limp out of the box room he used as an "office" he beelined for the kitchen and narrowly held back the urge just to stick his head under the faucet and let the cold water deal with his dehydration and blood shot eyes from the outside. He grabbed a semi clean glass from the side instead and congratulated himself a little as he downed two glasses in quick succession and refilled a third time, scrubbing at the back of his sore, stiff neck.

He carried his water, a tube of Pringles and the leftover pizza from lunch to the worn, dipped couch pushed to one end of his small living area and lowered himself down with a sigh, propping his legs up on the beanbag he used mostly as a footstool.

He was pretty sure at twenty seven he shouldn't be aching so damned much but here he was, knees cracking and jaw clicking as he shifted to find a semi comfortable position. He'd spent four hours on live, alternating between crunched up in his chair and half hanging out of it and he definitely hadn't been thinking at the time about how much he was going to be paying for it afterwards.

He shook two painkillers out of the bottle by the side of the couch, downing half the glass again before shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth before the pills could make his stomach hurt again.

It took four slices before he felt human again, the water and the food with the painkillers making him sleepy and soft. After the cacophony of the game he'd been playing, the silence of the apartment emphasised the faint ringing in his ears that he only noticed when all the other noise stopped.

He nodded off a few minutes later within head tipped back against the couch cushion.

Steve knew that it was the review of the computer game that he should be watching; after all that was the reason that Dustin had shoved his phone in Steve's face to begin with. He'd been on another rant, trying to convince Steve that the game was absolutely suitable for Nancy and Jonathan's young son (it wasn't) “It hardly has any decapitation in it Steve, look!”

Look he did, but Steve was completely distracted from the actual game part of the video by the very pretty man in the thumbnail off to the side who was playing said game and gesturing enthusiastically every time he had a second to take his hands off the controller.

Even more distracting was that he had his foot propped up on the chair, arm hooked lazily around it as he leaned forwards in concentration. His whole upper body looked like it screamed discomfort, and Steve's shoulder blades throbbed in sympathy.

"Does he know how bad for his back that is?" he commented, feeling older and older with every word that left his mouth. "If he's not walking like he shit himself when he gets off that chair, it will be a miracle."

"What about the game, Steve?" Dustin sounded exasperated and just a little bitchy.

"Nancy will hit the roof, and not in a good way." Steve mentally noted the gamers handle and handed Dustin back his phone. "Time for a present rethink."

Henderson tried one final time to get Steve on side and convince him of the games suitability but gave up at the thought of Nancy's displeasure which was clearly much scarier than Steve's. They finished up lunch and left the café hugging tightly before going their separate ways.

It was only a short walk home, the autumn air crisp and clean as it actually got in the city. He really was going to go straight up to his apartment above the little gym that he owned and ran, but he detoured to walk the floor instead.

Robin glared at him from where she was manning the reception desk.

"What are you doing here, Dingus?" She glared harder "you do know the place won't explode if you take an afternoon off? I'm starting to feel like you don't trust me."

Steve held his hands out in a placating gesture and slipped past the reception area.

He made his way around the counter, deliberately avoiding the main floor. Didn't even look at it. He knew what was good for him. "I thought of a thing, I'm not even here, I promise." She gave him a look, clearly nor believing a word until he slipped into the back room.

It was meant to be a small one on one yoga studio, or at least that's what he designed it as when the builders were talking specs but it was rarely used as such. He usually used it for filming so his camera setup was mostly a permanent fixture from where he filmed his videos for his fitness channel.

When his own YouTube channel gained some followers that weren’t friends being supportive, he’d started putting out videos semi-regularly from his apartment while he was waiting for the gym space below it to be finished. He gained followers slowly but surely until he’d had Robin film one of flexibility workouts (where he had ditched his shirt about a quarter of the way in) to track his progress and she had sneakily given it a sound track and posted it. He’d been mad for all of five minutes before the thirst trap had worked and his follower count had skyrocketed.

After the gym had been finished he started just using the smaller room for full body shots and movements (god damn it, Robin, not every video requires abs) since there was more room than in his little apartment. He was a tall guy and he needed the space if he didn't want to smack something important on something immovable.

Since the gym wasn't exactly advertised leaning towards the yoga crowd the room didn't really see a lot of use even though most of his videos centred mainly on stretching and flexibility these days and he plugged the gym fairly regularly.

Steve stretched out a little before he settled down in front of the tripod, phone in place and pointed at the right angle. He didn't feel the need for pricey cameras or super complicated lighting when the overheads at the gym could go brighter than the sun when he wanted them to, but having to not dick around with tripod angles was always welcome when he had something stuck in his brain.

His thoughts had never quite left the beautiful, enthusiastic streamer from Dustin's phone and the pretzel shape that he'd contorted himself into on his gaming chair. Steve clicked the little Bluetooth button and smiled winningly at the camera, getting his usual intro done on auto pilot.

"If you are like this fine gentleman here and get into your game or work a bit too much, I'm going to show you how to mitigate some of the damage and hopefully make your back and neck feel a bit better after a long session." The tracking pod that his phone rested on moved with him as he sat gracefully on the floor, legs held wide to stretch out his hamstrings. He mimed leaning against a chair for the beginners poses and then gradually sunk lower until his chest nearly hit the floor and he could grab at his bare feet, explaining all the while about the stretch and how it released the lower back.

He shot through a twist, grabbing a firm bolster cushion to rest his upper body on while his hips twisted the other way, and then the more advanced version of the pose, and then twisted so that he was laying on his back with the bolster snugged up under his shoulder blades with his neck supported and his arms out to the side. He suppressed a groan of pleasure as he talked, his voice getting a little breathy as his own back stretched, courtesy of the truly horrible café chairs he'd been forced into for the afternoon.

"And to finish off if you have a bit of trouble sleeping, try some legs on the wall from my last video for ten to fifteen minutes, I'll link that in the description below. It'll help lower your cortisol levels and set you up for a good night." Steve smiled again at the camera feeling a little lighter than before now that his brain worm of an idea was fully formed and done. He did his usual outro and added a little extra that he hoped no one would notice was aimed at the pretty gamer. "Hope you feel better, sleep well."

#Steddie #steddie fanfic #steddie fluff #fluff #seriously fluff #eddie munson #steve harrington #my writing #Streamer au

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mugentakeda · 3 months

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saw a youtube video thumbnail the other day taking shots at early atla development art and got so mad bc 1. literally every cartoon has an ugly/early phase + the video felt like it was framing it as uniquely bad and 2. it literally wasn't even bad???? it looked neat??? fun style??? also i have beef w the channel that posted it but thats unrelated

HELL NAWL the book 1 art style is my favorite. when I imagine the "atla art style" I think of book 1. These are all from ep 3 but this is peak to me

#I feel like actually book 2 has my least favorite out of the three seasons #like idk how to explain it but b2 art style made everyone look compact and Round #it was so strange. its not BAD obviously but if I had to list my favorites from least to greatest #then b2 would be in last placekndjksnkjfbdmfnd #asks

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askzloyxp · 1 year

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Would you maybe be able to bring other editors on board? Perhaps teach Lyarrah how you do your jazz so she can take over for a couple weeks. Unless I'm mistaken in assuming that her job is just copy pasting the script into the YouTube captions feature. I don't really know how captioning works

Okay, this is actually quite fun to talk about because YES! Youtube's caption system does have a feature where you can get auto-captions made if you just feed it the transcript of the video! HOWEVER, Lyarrah's job on the Recap is not to just do that.

First and foremost, Ly actually handles all of the metadata of the vids except thumbnails. Tags, description and even the titles are all things she has to fill in after I upload, because by that time I have absolutely 0 energy to do that. She also is the one moderating the comments. Even if I'm often the one to reply, she does a lot to filter out the bad stuff and add spam-filters.

Then she has to make the actual captions. Even with the script available, this is actually still a serious undertaking. Because that feature that you just feed the script and it puts the timings in automatically? It sucks ass. The timings are all over the place, it struggles with even the british accent and it couldn't add who is speaking or sound/tone descrptions even if you put them in. And with Recaps specifically, it couldn't put in the parts where the Hermits themselves are speaking, because THEIR LINES ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT! What clips to use and to add to the video is mostly decided in the video-editing phase, long after the script is written. So that stuff needs to be added later. But because it's not in the script, the system gets confused about parts where the words that are not in the script are said, and just puts whatever lines in there. As a result, cleaning up after the algorithm takes longer than to just make whole new subtitles. WHICH IS WHAT LYARRAH ACTUALLY DOES.

More or less every video she makes captions for is re-transcribed by hand with the script only as a reference. This results in much better captions where she can even add her personal touch with the emojis to convey tone and all that!

I know there are automated systems in DaVinci Resolve and Adobe Premiere that could output pretty solid captions with working timings, and she's actually looking into that, and will be trying them out. But even then, it will be her responsibility and her choice to use these tools, because she's our captioning specialist. Whatever research she does will still be a load off my back.

But could she just edit the recaps for me? Funny you say that, because in theory? She probably could. Lyarrah and Pixlriffs are both adept video editors, each with their own youtube channels, and perfectly capable of producing videos no worse than what I make. Pix has already edited a couple recaps in the past, and every time he'd deliver on time and arguably a tighter product than what I make. HOWEVER, the trick here is that to get the HC Recap done every week, week after week, on time and with passable editing, when the source material is a dozen videos at least and the result needs to be well paced, illustrative and well, passable, is a whole other ordeal. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but here you gotta not know how to edit, but know how to edit like a motherfucker.

...that doesn't mean "good" or "fast",... just.. like a motherfucker.

And for one, I wouldn't want to put that much work onto anyone, while for two, I wouldn't trust to put that much work onto anyone. Maybe to a professional editor or like, a TV-editor this isn't much, but I don't think I have the funds to hire one, especially when at the end of the day, to me the whole process has long become routine, entertainment even. I love the edit. Which is also why I struggle with stress and burnout the way I do: it is incomprehensible to me that I can't just sit down and do this like always!

One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

#hermitcraft recap #pixlriffs #lyarrah #zloyxp

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herrscherofmagic · 7 months

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A look at the past & future of Honkai design: Simplicity vs. Complexity (Part 1)

Link to the YouTube channel of the person whose thumbnail I yoinked off of Google Images for this; it was the best image of the new Hyperion that I could easily find which is why I used it for this.

TL;DR:

Original Honkai Impact 3rd designs tended towards large, simply shapes that gave battlesuits (and other stuff) a strong "mecha" vibe. Many newer designs are trending towards more complex designs that do away with these simple and recognizable shapes, instead using more overlapping textures and ornamentation to create detail. Some designs balance the two, using large and relatively simple shapes that still carry enough detail to stand out as newer while still keeping the original vibes.

Because of this, I think there's gonna be a very clear visual split between Part 1 designs and the APHO+Part 2 designs because of this split between simplicity & complexity, and some Part 1 designs feel off because they stray too far from the original design motifs, making them feel out of place even if they're still good designs on their own.

I've been thinking a lot about the design philosophy of Honkai Impact 3rd for quite a while now. As someone interested in concept art and illustration and who's played video games for more than 3/4ths of their whole lifespan.

And obviously I'm not alone in this, given how often I've seen discussion of Honkai's character design. Whether it was the march of the pastel battlesuits or the techwear of the part 2 cast or the upcoming Garuda Fu Hua battlesuit, many people have had many opinions both positive and negative.

But I've wanted to do a sort of "deep-dive" for a while now, because I think HI3rd is a really interesting case where we can see the co-existence of (sometimes drastically) different designs made years apart from one another. It's normal for the style of a franchise to grow and change with time- my personal example is Halo, with obvious differences between Halo CE, Halo 3, and Halo 4 in mind. But typically that has been done over the release of different games over many years, not so much in consecutive releases within the same game. HI3rd's not alone in this regard, of course :)

I don't want to label anything as "bad" or "good". I can like or dislike something, and that's my personal opinion. Of course I COULD try to label designs as bad or good, but I'd want to back that up with serious analysis and get the opinions of other players, and that's way too much effort for a reddit post. Instead, I want to present some different designs in Honkai and share my thoughts, so others can feel free to agree, disagree, elaborate, etc. More of a matter of casual discussion rather than trying to present some solid theory, I guess you could say?

What I will say is I intend to label designs based on whether (or how) they fit into HI3rd's aesthetic(s), so that's the main point- not so much whether an individual design is good or not.

To start with, I'd like to talk about the simplicity vs. complexity of Honkai designs because I personally feel like this is the biggest problem I have with HI3rd, outside of story issues that is. Not because of designs being "good" or "bad", but because I feel like Mihoyo has been moving towards a new design philosophy that's different from what I loved most about HI3rd when I first started.

I opened with the comparison of Hyperion because I think it's a perfect example of this concept, and if we can understand what the difference is with Hyperion then I think it'd be more apparent with battlesuits as well. I also have another image that highlights some of the biggest differences between the two models:

I had mixed feelings about the reveal of the "new and upgraded" Hyperion during the moon arc. It's a neat design I'll admit, but I felt like it deviated a lot from the original Hyperion, not as a difference in fidelity and detail but rather as a difference in the fundamental design of the ship.

What I like so much about the original Hyperion is, as you might have guessed by now: its simplicity. Hyperion was comprised of much larger, blockier shapes with more clear silhouettes. It's actually the same reason I love the design of Halo's UNSC frigates, funnily enough. I'm a huge sci-fi fan and I absolutely adore spacecraft and vehicle design, so I really appreciated the design of Hyperion cause to me it felt very original.

The new Hyperion retains most of the same characteristics, and it's still recognizable as a version of Hyperion. But it bothers me just how much the design was changed. Many of the simple shapes of the design were broken up into smaller parts or almost totally changed, like the cannon going from a sleek polygonal barrel to a spikey... thing.

To me, it feels like Hyperion was redesigned with the idea of trying to make it more "futuristic" or "tech-y", or perhaps it was even designed with some retro anime motifs in mind like the Space Battleship Yamato. But it seems as though this was done by adding many objects that broke up the original silhouette, as well as inventing lots of new detail instead of adding details to complement what was already there. The shape of the winglets was greatly changed; the vent-like structures were totally changed; the barrel was completely changed; most noticeably, the bridge was drastically changed.

The new Hyperion model is technically "better" in terms of fidelity and the amount of detail it has, no doubt about it. But I think changing the fundamental shapes of Hyperion so much really hurts the charm of the original design, to the point that I was actually quite disappointed to see that Mihoyo used the new Hyperion design in the CG of the Captainverse Hyperion farm event. It seems as though Mihoyo wants to consider this as the new default impression of Hyperion, and not a special one-off thing from the moon arc.

I think this can be seen across other aspects of the game, too. In general Mihoyo has moved away from simple designs and towards complex designs, and I think there's been a lot of hits and a lot of misses with this.

For instance, I'd like to compare the three Herrscher Kiana battlesuits: HoV, HoFS, and HoFi.

There's a clear trend of an increase in complexity across the three battlesuits. HoV's design uses fewer and larger shapes, HoFS adds more and smaller shapes, and then HoFi is almost totally devoid of any large clear shapes.

To me, this is what distinguishes a battlesuit that "feels like Honkai" from one that doesn't.

Everyone starts the game in Chapter 1, and most long-time players have spent more time with older battlesuits than newer ones simply because they were playing the game before these newer battlesuits were even released. I think it's safe to say that even though HoFi is the grand "Kiana in her greatest form" battlesuit, most players will still have seen HoV's design more often because of the years that it's been around, and its prevalence in story content.

Most of those older designs were rooted more heavily in the mecha vibes early Honkai had. For instance, even though HoV is obviously not wearing a mecha battlesuit, the large blocky shapes are still reminiscent of armor, two examples being the large frames on her wings and the large white pad-things(?) on her sides. There's other obvious cases like White Comet being a skin-tight battlesuit which used glowy energy bits for its attacks, but I use the example of HoV because it shows that HI3rd was fully capable of creating battlesuits within the mecha theme without being limited to literal "mecha" designs. HoV's battlesuit is far from mecha in its nature, yet still fits perfectly with that aesthetic.

HoFi has pretty much none of that, though. It's a pretty design for sure, but it's also nearly completely divorced from that original aesthetic. There's few easily-recognizable shapes on her design, with the (very little) clothing she wears being almost entirely detail and ornamentation. It definitely fits the "Princess Kiana" or "Goddess Kiana" theme in isolation, but I don't think it delivers on that theme in the context of Honkai Impact 3rd.

Yet look at HoFS. HoFS definitely has more detail than HoV. Yet there are still lots of large blank areas that define clear forms; for instance, the armor on HoFS' waist. It's reminiscent of that of HoV while still adding more detail. This gives that same effect of a slight mecha vibe. It's still an appealing design and it still feels more modern than HoV, but it also manages to retain much of the same design language.

That being said, I have to admit I ADORE the Honkai wings that HoFi has, though I wish they were a little higher in the air. That's one thing that I think Mihoyo absolutely nailed with HoFi, and I wish more of that aesthetic was kept in the rest of her design.

What's also interesting is that (in my opinion) neither of the other two main Herrscher Trio designs suffer from this. For instance, consider Mei's battlesuits:

I've included Lighting Empress as a reminder that old =/= good. I'd like to make it clear that just because it's an "original" battlesuit doesn't mean it's a good one. I said before that I didn't want to label stuff as good or bad but this is a clear exception and I hope y'all can understand why, lol

We can certainly argue about whether HoO Mei's design really fits the image of Raiden Mei. It's a vast departure from her other battlesuits when it comes to her palette, for better or for worse. I didn't like it at first but it has grown on me, and I think part of that is because of that concept of simplicity vs. complexity.

HoO has way, way more detail than the other two Herrscher Mei battlesuits, no doubt about it. But it also retains many large and recognizable shapes. Nothing on this battlesuit is bulky like HoT or other older battlesuits, but it still gives off the feeling of being armor despite being so thin. Much of the detail is created not by overlapping layers of ornamentation and texture, but rather by using intricate shapes with clear silhouettes and light detail inside that outline.

And HoTr is obviously a mecha design, so I don't think we need to elaborate on that one :)

The point is that it's absolutely possible to make detailed and beautiful battlesuits without getting rid of the original shape language that HI3rd was built on. HoFS is a bit dated now but still much newer than HoV, yet it keeps the vibes. HoO is also far newer, yet it still fits the theme of battlesuit. HoFi, though... not so much.

Finally, I want to talk about the elephant in the room: the Part 2 character designs.

Once again, here's the link to the YouTube video by Matt Is Playing, where I pulled this image from!

Much like HoFi, there's very little trace of the OG Honkai mecha aesthetic in these battlesuits. It's not to say that they are inherently bad because of that* , but it doesn't quite feel like "Honkai Impact 3rd".

*except Dream Seeker, I'm sorry but what the heck is going on there???

But the thing is that this design philosophy isn't even new. In fact, it's years old by now... because we see this in APHO.

For a long time now, APHO has had battlesuits that tip-toe on the very edge of the original Honkai aesthetic. So the designs of Part 2 aren't actually some new and drastic shift in Mihoyo's design philosophy- rather, it's reinforcing a design philosophy that was introduced with APHO.

These new characters all feel out of place if we compare them to the original battlesuits. They don't use the same simple forms, instead using dense and overlapping details. But if we compare them to the APHO cast, they fit right in. We can argue about the merits of the new character designs in other terms, but I think these discussions have to keep in mind this context.

I'd say the APHO designs work well in the setting of APHO because they're following the same aesthetic. As we enter Part 2 and once we see more of the story and setting of Part 2, it's very possible that these new character designs will feel more natural and more like "Honkai Impact 3rd".

But it's a different Honkai Impact 3rd.

This is why I think the idea of "simplicity vs. complexity" is so important to understanding Honkai Impact 3rd's designs. I think Mihoyo might be trying to emphasize two different phases of Honkai through this design philosophy. These are going to be two very different halves to the same game, with the designs of Part 2 possibly becoming as distant from Part 1's designs as Part 1 is from HSR.

You have the OG mecha action vibes from the good ole St. Freya days, and we have the sleek tech-wear of the era of exploring Mars, world-hopping in the Sea of Quanta, and fighting literal aliens.

For better or for worse? Only time will tell.

As a bonus, I'd like to include some extra comparisons, though I won't be adding any more analysis. It's more about having extra examples to keep in mind. Also, I think these ideas can apply to enemies and weapons as well, but that's a larger discussion I'm not yet ready for so that will come in a follow-up later on!

#honkai impact 3rd #hi3rd #honkai 3rd #honkai #honkai discussion #as if that's even a tag people use lol #long post #Kiana Kaslana #Raiden Mei #Bronya Zaychik #i just realized after posting this that I used the wrong image for stygian nymph jgkldaflhflhadfhagh too late to change it now!

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