#It just hurts sometimes
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hey guys how much pain do you have to be in/what amount of your day do you have to be in pain for it to be considered chronic pain. Also unrelated does anyone have an resources to look into chronic pain and how to talk to doctors about it?
#I might uh#Might be realizing something#Maybe every time I walk for more than an hour or so my hips hurting so bad I have to limp everywhere isnât normal#But like?#itâs not that bad?#like I donât want to be like âoh I have chronic painâ when other people with chronic pain canât even get out of bed#Like I can still get around#I feel like I am making light of other peoples struggles#It just hurts sometimes#Idk#Chronic pain#disabled#disability#disabilties#pain#hip pain#chronic hip pain#help#questions
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being polyamorous sometimes mean they will only text you back/want to see you/'love you' when they don't have another partner/they're not doing great with their other partners and while that's okay it also hurts and you end up feeling abandoned so cut them off you deserve a fuck yes every single time the same you give to others
#polyamory#poly#polyamourous#asexual#love#ace love#poly love#no anchor partner#also no desire for one#it's okay I'm actually enough for myself#it just hurts sometimes#feeling like the consolation prize
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#âlemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of themâ .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.
I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.
#fanfiction#this is the 'comfort' part of hurt/comfort#but i want to take it to the extreme honestly#not just comfort immediately after a traumatic event#but consonant daily comfort!#being taken care of because you are loved always and unconditionally#this is the real reason why i sometimes read sugar daddy AUs even though i don't like them#i want to read about characters being SPOILED#this is also why i love the mdzs love interests so much#luo binghe is the ultimate worshipful house husband and i love that#my posts#you can tell i'm irrationally tired when i start getting tear-eyed over someone being cooked a meal
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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Saw your tags-- you're one of my favorite people to talk to~ I love popping in to send an ask or see your tags on my dash. Hits the spot every time~ :DDDDD
Thank you! I always love to see you in my inbox or my notifications too.
Just in general - in real-life especially - I'm the kind of person you become friends with cause there's no one else there. As soon as there's someone better, I'm no longer as important. Which I mean, is okay. You meet people and you just have connections with them and I'm kind of like a door opener or something.
#lovely asks#it's just my role in life i suppose#it just hurts sometimes#but you don't choose who you connect with#i'm in my whiny era#but i actually like myself these days which makes things so much easier
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just looking at these hand poses was enough to give me carpal tunnel and that's how u know they're prime megu material
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#yuuji itadori#megumi#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#sometimes u gotta take a break from drawing megumi to draw different megumi and thats on self care#smiling megu for the soul he said heart emoji i said :D#i tried to do the poses myself and . u kno. im not convinced hands are meant to contort that way guys :( it hurt :(#so yuuji can share my pain i think tht bit is cute#tried smth a bit different w the skin rendering and i rly rly like it holy#very early era vacuumchan inspired :'> lov them SM sighs#also ripped megus jacket directly from a pinterest fit bc one of us deserves nice things :((((#if sukuna wont stop wearing megumi in canon ill just play dress up to cope
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i feel like social media has warped peopleâs perception of conflict in relationships by making you think that any minor fuck up is the end of the world and everyone is secretly a narcissist manipulator with sinister motives, because actually in real life you just say âiâm sorry, that was a bad thing, i shouldnât have done thatâ and the other person says âthank you for apologisingâ and then thatâs the end of it
#ramble#i hate that it took until my 20s to realise that i canât go through my life just trying not to hurt people. because it will happen#it just does happen sometimes#and you have to drop out of the tiktok school of âiâm incapable of doing anything wrong ever and everyone else is the problemâ#and get comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them#youâre fine. itâs fine#disclaimer obviously this doesnât mean you donât have to try to be kind or considerate anymore as long as you apologise. use your brain
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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do the silly thing. if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been. it will still be silly, and it will still be yours, but it will not be the same. this is both a blessing and a curse, but so is living; and if you do not do it now when will you? who will? it has to be you, it was always meant for you, waiting for you.
#this is about writing for me but could be about anything (that is not hurtful to urself or others. very important)#that's why it is silly (affectionate) or cringey (affectionate) like u gotta just let yourself go sometimes. you have to do the thing.#even if it is terrible horrible (not what you want) bc at least then it EXISTS. at least it holds space in the universe and it lives outsid#you can let it sit and rot and gather dust but at least then you can go back to it. even if it's horrible there is at LEAST at least -#one kernel of it that you can bring into the next piece. at least one shining pearl of something.#even if it needs work or months in those lil funky rock tumblers for geodes and gemstones and all. even if needs SO much work.#at least it is there!!! and it is yours!!!#it's your call to action if it's something u want w/ all your heart.#or even a piece of it. if it's something you want? well - it's already yours. it always has been.#you just have to take the first step / the first breath / and begin.#scribbles.
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you know the excellent quadruple life fan comic has me thinking about double life again. and MAN. thinking about the soul bonds mechanically. like, before I get into my meta-analysis itâs worth noting that non-diagetically the soulbond mechanic being based on how many hearts someone has is basically the only way I can think to do it in minecraft thatâs sensible, but diageticallyâŚ
so do you ever think about how the marker of what made people soulmates in double life was pain?
like, soulmates share injuries/pain! thatâs the whole premise! like, to the point that day one people were making up elaborate ways to hurt themselves so they could test for their soulmates! you met your (very romantic-coded) partner and confirmed they were the person you were looking for by hitting each other, generally!
being a soulmate in the double life universe isnât about being compatible, itâs about literally sharing pain, and itâs just⌠I think about how for some pairs, they share the burden between each other, and it brings them closer. for some pairs, though, the only way they know how to communicate is by hurting one another. and the thing is, this isnât just a literal thing. like, mechanically, the thing soulmates do is share pain and communicate with pain, but metaphorically, can you say desert duo doesnât have trouble communicating because half of how they know how to exist is either sharing in pain or causing it for each other? can you say that ranchersâ strength wasnât a pair of people who understood each otherâs pain and desperation to be better than theyâve been before? can you say that divorce quartet isnât, wellâ
so pearl wins after scott hurts them one last time donât you ever think about that,
#trafficblr#double life smp#abuse tw#SO. NOT⌠REALLY.#although a solid argument can be made about this so Iâm including the tag since this is a post all about physically hurting your partner#itâs just that in-universe this isnât normally framed as abuse.#(which I think counts for a lot here because it is in fact In A Video Game punching is normal mc body language)#but. so I KNOW shared injuries is already a stock soulmate trope and normally a whump one#but the thing is that none of those fics are normally as weird about it as whatever divorce quartet was doing#or impulse and Bdubs for that matter I didnât put them in this post as to keep it short but#something something. Donât you think THEIR problem was IGNORING pain until the very end#I am NOT ENOUGH OF A BOAT BOYS PERSON TO ECTEND IT TO THAT#anyway and bigb and ren were willing to surface-level share pain but werenât either really willing to do it on a deeper level#anyway. it is nearly midnight idk if I am making sense but#sometimes I Think about things
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ref sheet that shows the extent of his injuries (he's in his pajamas)
#**continuously puts him through hell**#i know this isn't a very realistic depiction of burnt scars but I just wanted to show which parts of his body were the most affected#*Springdad says they still hurt/itch sometimes#TOAST RABBIT /ref#springdad au#starbsart#it's not exactly winter where i live anymore but is still cold anyway. I'm using a sweater rn so uhhh yea#he usually sleeps shirtless during warmer seasons (mosquitoes be eating him alive)#fnaf
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i wonder if such thing ever happens
#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#twst mc#twst yuu#fanart#when will he learn otherwise#malleus needs to get angry at sebek sometimes#no one is hurt#he was just raised to the air#mal was upset because sebek yell the answer so loud when he wants yuu to guess
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I don't hold grudges, that anger feeds into self-loathing instead.
#messyr#vent art#vent post#just confusing things I wanted to get out#as much as i want to 'hate' them- i cant#no matter how bad they get- i always forgive them and it hurts. But why does it feel wrong to feel hurt- that i'm not supposed to feel hurt#my mind has been altered so much idfk what to think and feel abt sometimes LMAO#one of those birds in a gilded cage AHAHA#learned helplessness#bpd#sometimes i wonder if i get out of this cycle of abuse
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