#It is said to be practically painted on a deathbed

[thunderboltfire]

I thought I’ll butt in, because I’ve seen it in original! (more than once, it hangs in the gallery in Sukiennice building located on Cracow’s main square). The second reason is that’s one of the most iconic 19th century Polish paintings (there was A LOT going on in art back then, but if You mention Szał in the context of the visual art, it’s the first thing that comes to people’s minds).

Long story short, the full title is Frenzy of Exultations, which together with the strong symbolism and dream-like, almost fainting expression of the woman immediately points to an erotic meaning behind the painting.

And it honestly is striking, when seen in person - it’s monumental, almost life-sized, also some people speculated on who exactly the woman in the painting resembled (apparently there was a few candidates). The theme of sexual ecstasy, the uneven strokes of paint, the representation of symbolism, which was a new current in art, the correspondence to artist’s personal life (Podkowiński was both terminally ill at the time, and was in love with a married woman - whether it was requited or not, remains unclear) all added to how scandalous it was. It was criticised for the mistakes in anatomy, atypical composistion (worth remembering, the academic art current was still very strong), the critics wondered how someone with such a skill as Podkowiński created something which was so technically unsound and felt so unreal. Yet it had something incredibly authentic in it, and drawn people to see it. It was fascinating and was rumoured to be almost cursed due to its influence - it soon became a sort of a local manifesto of the new currents in art.

And it probably was very personal to him, seeing that at the end of its exhibition he tried to destroy it. His art took a dramatic turn - early in his career he painted mostly colorful, almost impressionistic landscapes and portraits, he was also a rather popular illustrator, one of a few young artists who actually were able to sell their works. After the exhibition of Frenzy, when his tuberculosis took turn to the worse, he turned to darker topics, reflected by his Funeral March, inspired by Chopin’s work. He died in his workshop, at the age of 28. Despite the fact that Frenzy has been meticoulously restored after his death, the marks left by the cuts on the canvas are visible to this day. One could say that altough romantism’s days were long gone by then and the art was moving past academism back to the more emotional symbolism and young art movements, in this painting’s story the mixture of emotion, madness, tragedy and scandal shows how fin-de-siecle was really similar to romantism.

‘Frenzy’ by Wladyslaw Podkowinski, 1894

[atmilliways]

Part Five: Come, Come On

(part one) (part two) (part three) (part four) - complete

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2455 Ships: Steddie Major Tags: Jealousy, The Pining Is Mutual Actually, Getting Together Additional Tags: Smut, Steve Harrington Has A Praise Kink

Author’s Note: Banner by @xirayn​.

Read it on Ao3

-

They stumble into Steve’s unlit bedroom, because they both know he has the better mattress.

(Even though Eddie has been trying to pretend he doesn’t know that ever since the day they moved in and Steve had joked, ‘I bet my mattress is better than yours’—and no shit Sherlock, but then Steve hadn’t let it go until Eddie had rolled his eyes and laid on it to officially confirm its superiority.)

Steve lands on his back, Eddie’s hands holding his wrists down to either side of his head and Eddie’s knees to either side of his hips and Eddie practically sitting on his lap. Another press of lips and ragged breathing into each other’s mouths has Steve arching up, not fighting where he’s being held but seeking contact, and Eddie wants to fucking combust. 

“Wanted this,” Steve moans into his mouth. “You. Fuck, Eds—”

“Of course you did,” Eddie growls back. 

Whether he believes him or not, Eddie has spent too long stewing to let this happen totally on Steve’s terms. That’s not how this is going to go. So he pushes himself up, out of range. 

Steve whines, trying to roll his hips again and still not getting what he wants. 

“I was trying to be, be cool about it,” he says desperately. 

Eddie’s eyebrows disappear behind his bangs. “Cool? Is that the word the popular kids are using for ‘slutty’ these days?” 

Steve pouts, all bratty and defiant, and nods down between them. “You don’t seem to mind that much.”

‘He likes for people to see what they’re missing out on by not being with him,’ Nancy had said. 

Well, fuck that. Right now, Eddie decides, is all about showing Steve what he’s missed by not being with him. He leans down and bites at the junction of Steve’s neck and shoulder, first with teeth and then with suction, and Steve moans, trapped wrists jerking under Eddie’s hands and pressing up into his rings. 

“Yes, okay, yeah, yes,” Steve is babbling, “I was being slutty, oh fuck—”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie says roughly, licking over the spot when he’s done, “that’s better. So much better when it’s me you’re moaning for.” (He’s never actually heard Steve moaning for anyone else, he’s been careful about that. But he’s thought about it. Punched a few walls over it, and on one occasion a door—which had been very ill-advised, because the damn thing had rebounded off the wall and smacked him in the face. No one is ever going to hear about that, not even on his deathbed.) “Wanna tell me why you were being so slutty, sweetheart?”

And god, the way Steve’s throat bobs at the endearment. “Wanted you to look at me.”

“I was looking at you anyway.”

Enjoying the pink flush that paints Steve’s cheeks at that, Eddie moves both captive wrists up to above the man’s head, pins them with one hand while the other scrabbles down for the button on his own jeans. A groan of relief spills out when he gets that undone and the zipper down, adjusting himself to no longer be so tightly confined, and then he wastes no time going after Steve’s as well. 

“But what can I say?” He nips at Steve’s earlobe, worrying it in his teeth to elicit a series of gasps. “Guess I got a little jealous, Steve—or was that what you were going for?”

“Kind of,” Steve admits, his pout a shade more contrite now. His arms are relaxed where Eddie is holding them above his head but his hips strain with every beat at the pulse point Eddie is nuzzling now, like he just can’t help himself. “I didn’t—I think I did it wrong.” 

“Mm, and why’s that?” Eddie murmurs against his skin. 

“It took too, ah, too fucking long, Eds, please. . . .” 

The whine, the way Steve turns his head to seek another kiss, need rolling off him like steam from a kettle quickly coming to a boil, has Eddie immediately indulging him. 

(Indulging both of them, really.)

Keeps playing with him while Steve spills about the whole thing. About how knowing Eddie liked guys didn’t mean he’d like him, and feeling self-conscious about having no experience with guys himself. When Eddie had backed off from dancing with him, he’d spiraled into thinking that maybe it was because of the uncaring asshole that he’d been back in high school; that maybe there was no forgiving King Steve. 

(Which is fucking ridiculous, because Steve had literally saved his life and that bought a hell of a lot of leeway.)

So he’d set about proving that he was serious, which. . . . “You know how the last time I was any good at dating was in high school?”

(Debatable. By all accounts, King Steve had been pretty slutty before he’d landed Nancy as a girlfriend, though he had landed her. They’d dated for a whole calendar year, even. And Steve hadn’t exactly been going through a dry spell in the spring of ‘86, before that last brush with the Upside Down.)

“And back then,” Steve continues breathlessly as Eddie strokes a ringed knuckle over the front of his boxers, “it usually worked to, uh. Pretend I didn’t care? It, it drove the girls nuts. So I thought—f-fuck—”

Oh my god, Eddie thinks, feeling his face go completely slack. Oh my god. This is either too funny to be real or so stupid he can’t stand it. 

“So,” he says slowly. “You decided to woo me by . . . sleeping with other people.” 

(Holy fuck, he was going to kill Nancy. Steve had been jealous of him getting laid because he wanted Eddie’s attention, that’s what had been going on with Steve. And she’d fucking known it.)

Steve whines. “Don’t make me defend it.”

“No no, science is on your side, Steve.” The ‘I really like you’ and ‘I think about you all the time’ parts of the conversation are starting to sink in now, zipping around in Eddie’s blood and making him feel almost manic. The growing damp spot on the front of Steve’s underwear is also a contributing factor. 

(Holy fuck, Steve wants me.)

Eddie can’t help the grin that stretches across his face as he continues, “You’re like a bird showing off his sexy plumage and ability to attract a lot of mates—”

“Wanted to make sure I knew how to be good for you, if you ever gave me a chance,” Steve blurts out. “But I haven’t, I haven’t done everything. Eddie, I want you. Not just to show me the rest—that too, please god that too because you’re so, y-you’re—but not just that.”

They should probably talk about all of this more. Except Eddie is tired of talking, tired of anything that isn’t kissing Steve now that that’s apparently a thing he can do. 

He breaks away after another moment though, shoving Steve’s shirt impatiently up his chest. “This needs to come off.”

“Just the shirt?” 

Brat, even now. Eddie bites sharply at his bottom lip. “Depends on how much you want to give me, sweetheart.”

“Everything,” Steve groans. “Fuck, Eds, all of it. All of me. ‘S yours. Yes.” Which is really all he needed to hear, isn’t it? 

That was all he’d ever needed to hear.

-

Eddie has been thinking about this for a long, long time. In the privacy of his room, in the shower, in his dreams. He’s thought about what Steve would sound like, what he’d feel like, what he’d like, when—

Well. Now, with their clothes flung in all directions and Eddie’s rings on the side table and Steve face-down on the mattress, clutching at the sheets with every fraction of an inch that Eddie eases inside of him, moaning with every little teasing rock back only to push further in. Slowly—because despite his hookups this is one of the things Steve somehow hasn’t done. And when Eddie is buried in him to the hilt, still pushing his ass hopefully back to take more, Jesus H. Christ. 

“God, look at you,” Eddie murmurs, breathless. “You fucking love this, don’t you, Stevie?” He has one hand in the other man’s hair, pulling until Steve glances back at him and gives a dazed nod. 

“Can you,” Steve pants, eyelids fluttering at another tug of his hair, “can you. . . ?”

Apparently unable to assemble the words, he gives up and lets his mouth fall open, craning back to look up with the side of his forehead braced against the mattress. His tongue lolls invitingly, making Eddie shudder. 

“Shit, sweetheart.” Eddie leaves his hand in Steve’s hair, brings the other one up from Steve’s hip instead and slides two fingers into his mouth. Kiss-reddened lips close over them immediately, eager to the point of almost jumping the gun, and Steve moans around the digits as his eyes roll back and he begins to suckle. “Fuck. . . .” Eddie bites his lip, cock throbbing inside him in response. “You just want somebody filling you up all the time, huh Stevie? Is that what you want?”

Another obscene moan and the suction increases—and, yeah, if this is a ploy to get him to pick up the pace then it’s working. There’s no way he’s going to last long. 

“You were jealous too, weren’t you,” Eddie breathes heavily into the shell of Steve’s ear as he builds up to a faster tempo, tingling all over because this is fucking happening. “That’s why you let the bartender take my keys, hmm? Why you walked me home? You wanted to get me out of there and have me all to yourself, didn’t you?”

“Y-yes,” comes the shaky but heartfelt reply around his fingers, a brief interruption in the wet heat and suction. 

Eddie licks along his neck, biting down on the tendons there just hard enough to leave imprints in time with his next thrust, and the admission is just as delicious as Steve’s skin. “God, you’re so fucking good like this.”

Steve makes a low, desperate noise beneath him, flushing and fluttering around him, and isn’t that an interesting reaction. 

‘I don’t mind you bossing me around.’

“You like being good, baby?” And oh, the muffled whine in response shivers down Eddie’s spine in the best possible way. He slides his fingers out, cups his palm by Steve’s mouth and, obediently, Steve spits. (Not that they need it, with the mess Steve is making of himself; he just wanted to see if he would.) “Good boy.”

“Eddie,” Steve groans. He also cries out when Eddie’s hand smears down his chest and wraps wetly around him. 

“That’s it,” Eddie pants, bracing himself from a new angle and nipping at his ear, his jaw, his pulse point. “Wanna hear you, big boy. Make those pretty noises for me, mmmn—Let me hear it and I’ll let you come.” 

(Next time, he swears to himself, Steve will be facing him so he can see while it happens. Next time he’s going to draw it out.)

Steve keeps making these low, desperate noises while rocking between his hand and his cock like he can’t decide which one he wants more, captivated in perpetual motion between the two. There’s curly hair in Eddie’s face, in his eyes, sweat-dampened and draped over Steve’s shoulders. 

(Next time, if he doesn’t get to tie his hair back and get Steve’s cock in his mouth he’s going to mutiny against the universe.)

“Close,” Steve gasps desperately, the word bursting out in all its cracked glory as he chases the pleasure that Eddie is both wringing out of and pounding into him. 

“Good,” Eddie, breathing hard, is about five seconds from coming undone, pressing wet kisses against his neck and shoulder as he doubles his efforts to give Steve his absolute best, to ruin him for anyone else. (As though it’s not the other way around, as if any other man could possibly compare to Steve fucking Harrington, the dude who’d literally carried him out of hell.) “Come for me, sweetheart, be a good boy—”

At the command, Steve goes taut so immediately that the orgasm seems to somehow catch him by surprise. It catches Eddie too, Steve’s tight heat convulsing around him—sweeps him up and tumbles him in his own body until he can no longer tell up from down. 

His toes curl, and when he catches his breath several minutes later, he can’t remember the last time he experienced that particular cliche. If ever. 

(Absolutely goddamn ruined.)

-

Steve is adorably pliant when Eddie rolls him gently out of the wet spot on the comforter for a quick wipe down with a warm washcloth. He moves slow and sweet as honey, grinning dazedly up with his eyes barely open. “Stay?” he murmurs hopefully. 

Despite some lingering uncertainties, Eddie smiles softly back as he traces over scars that echo his own. They really are like a matching set. “You want me to, baby?”

“Yeah. . . . ‘Sgonna be cold though, comforter’s dirty.”

“You don’t say.”

“Mm.” To emphasize the point, Steve wriggles lazily until he’s off the comforter—Eddie just sits back and enjoys the show—and kicks it off the bed. “You’ll have to hold me.”

Eddie snorts, but he’s grinning. “You wanna be the little spoon, Stevie?”

“Learned lots of new things about myself over the past few months,” Steve replies, sounding very pleased with himself. 

Well, Eddie thinks, appraising and giddy and edging on interested in going again sometime soon because he’s in bed with Steve goddamn Harrington. The guy is an Adonis, all broad, strong shoulders and kiss-reddened smile and everything Eddie has been kind of obsessed with for years. Why not be the dish that ran away with the spoon, in the end?

He does make a quick trip to his own room to grab the blanket off his bed, though, because he spent too many winters in a poorly insulated trailer to run the risk of sleeping cold, no matter how much of a heat source Steve is. After all that life and death stuff, he figures they’ve both earned that comfort. 

Earned treating this like it means something, because it does. 

It’s everything.

-

A few weeks later, when Robin inevitably visits them in their shitty two-bedroom apartment, she sleeps in the second room. She openly makes fun of them for two years of friendship and two really dramatic nights to figure their shit out, too—nothing that Eddie hasn’t already heard from Nancy, really, and Steve takes it with resigned good grace. 

Eddie loves him so fucking much. He’ll tell him one of these days.

(. . . Lie.)

(He’s already written it on the J-card of the mix tape he’s made for their one-month anniversary.)

[nutty1005]

The new and starstudded “A Dream Like A Dream”, is the starting point, not the ending point, of Xiao Zhans

Original Article: https://m.thepaper.cn/newsDetail_forward_12542131 Original Author: 程辉剧场手记 The author published this in Pengpai News and shared on his Weibo Post on 6 May 2021.

Andante Cantabile, my most beloved music by Tchaikovsky, came from his String Quartet No. 1 in D major, every time it would painfully touch my heart, poet Xi Murong also used this to caption a melancholic poem. I thought, using it to sum up Lai Shengchuan’s representative work, “A Dream Like A Dream”, would be most apt.

“A Dream Like A Dream” lasts for 8 hours, this is something rare in Chinese theaters. Using the doctor as the first person, Patient No. 5 recalled and narrated in his narration, a surreal stage arrangement, emotions, life, fate, culture and societal upheaval, bringing tears to fog up your eyes. After 9 years of continued changes in the crew, Yanghua Theater brought in a new version with actors such as Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi, Xiao Zhan, Yan Nan, Zhang Liang, Huang Lu, Kong Wei, etc. The new version rivaled the quality of its predecessors, but yet bestowed a new presentation and expression.

A unique city was the backdrop for its first showing and the chance fate of the characters within the play allowed us to truly understand the nature of impermanence. In the play, there was an important term called “self-exchange”, which was said to come from an ancient practice from South Asia, by “breathing” with the others, so as to gift health and happiness, and remove his pain and misfortune. “A Dream Like A Dream” was a play that spoke of the search for the meaning of life, did it also deliberately “self-exchange” with the audience then? Once we understood the concept of “self-exchange”, we could also see that it was also a request to communicate with the reserved hearts of the contemporary person.

The fates of Gu Xianglan and Patient No. 5 were the two main timelines in “A Dream Like A Dream”, and the other timelines served to supplement or trigger the former. Patient No. 5’s motive came from “searching”, Gu Xianglan’s came from “chasing”. The chaser is the key to enlightening the searcher, the searcher became the resolution for the chaser, although they had different obsessions in their lives, they both came together in the end. Gu Xianglan’s deathbed confession to Patient No. 5 was not simply just an apology in her dazed state, but also her most unforgettable, wonderful and romantic memories of love; Patient No. 5, with his concern, consideration and inquiries, was like the listener from heaven, the guiding light to aid the soul in letting go of her regrets.

The 2021 Yanghua version of “A Dream Like A Dream” maintained its previous feature of multiple actors to one role, and multiple roles to one actor. Xu Qing, Feng Xianzhen, Ge Xinyi acted as after going abroad, old age and before going abroad versions of Gu Xianglan respectively. From the “peerless beauty” socialite of the brothels in Shanghai Beach, to the Baroness of a French Ambassador, to an artist, then to a maid, a sweeper of roads and alleys, to the lonely elderly in the hospital, she went through indescribable ups and downs.

Xu Qing had acted as Gu Xianglan since the play’s debut, and in the new version, her portrayal had already been exquisitely refined, the Gu Xianglan in her prime is lovely and graceful, but yet proud and wild, sensitive and emotional, as though Gu Xianglan’s soul had fully occupied her body. In addition to the true to form portrayal of the amorous nature of Gu Xianglan, her performance was exceptionally focused on the details of the silent scenes. When she and Xiao Zhan’s Patient No. 5 gazed at each other, when teary eyes met with clear eyes; from afar it seemed like she was looking at her younger self about to go onto a journey of no return, the resigned helplessness and the restless hope looked at each other; when realizing that the lost Baron had once returned, her astonished and sharp glares of anger; when Wang Debao found the tiny loft she stayed in by chance, her stealing glances were surprised and flustered… They were all full of the character’s aura and emotional tension, and the pain took the audiences by their hearts.

Senior actress Feng Xianzhen’s portrayal of the elderly version of Gu Xianglan was quite different from the version by the previous actress Lu Yan, which allowed the audiences to experience the wonder of plays due to different characterization. Lu Yan’s version was one that remained elegant and proud despite her tribulations, there was more calm and temperance, which would make the audiences respect the tenacity of this legendary lady. Feng Xianzhen’s version was a Gu Xianglan who went to France from Shanghai, and back to Shanghai from France, twice she found freedom and twice she fell. The cruelty of fate had ripped away all of the pretentiousness, the charm of her past had been lost, she was like every ordinary person. She would scheme cigarettes from strangers, curse as she liked with phrases such as “bastard”, “no good-doers in Taiwan”, mock those relatives who came to look after her as those who came for their inheritance. She fully portrayed the effects of her unfortunate life and her bitterness at the world, which made the audiences sigh in sadness.

Facing these two powerful actresses in portraying the same role, Ge Xinyi as the young Gu Xianglan, had a lot of pressure. Her performance was more inclined to a lonely beauty, the purity despite her circumstances, so as to provide a solid motive for the Baron and Wang Debao’s unrestrained infatuation. As a newcomer to the theater, her steady control was not an easy task, and should be praised for it. If she would be more open, layered and flavorful in her portrayal, the characterization would be better. After all, Gu Xianglan was the top courtesan within the midst of love and affairs, and the quiet and calm of a learned lady would be quite different from that.

Patient No. 5 was a journeyman of life. In the beginning, he suffered painful setbacks from the death of his child and the loss of his wife, and started a self-exiled wanderlust. His marriage came by mistake, almost like a replacement for his wife’s frustrating relationship. Fate caused him to lose his spirit, but he was unwilling to give up, hence he wanted to search for his wife, as though he wanted to search for himself. His encounter with Jiang Hong, was the wanderers’ sympathy for each other and to rely on each other. Only when he walked into the French castle and saw the tranquil and woeful eyes of Gu Xianglan, he seemed to see himself at the far coast of the lake, the cumulative rage and sorrow in both their hearts, their collective unwillingness to concede suddenly exploded, and he decisively dropped everything to find the lady in the painting. He did not know what question was ignited then, but he started his search for the dream of life.

In terms of the control of this character, Xiao Zhan and Yan Nan definitely put in a lot of efforts, they were highly immersive. What was even more rare was that, although their performances had different focuses, but they were both very united in terms of aura, body language, speech, pace and habitual actions, as though the two actors in the same stage were truly one character. For such a complete creation, you need not only tacit understanding.

Xiao Zhan’s performance exceeded my expectations. Despite it being his debut in a play, his performance was not even the least bit disjointed, and he was even able to merge his own personality characteristics with the role itself. His actions, pace and emotions gave a smooth interplay between tension and relaxation. The portrayal of innocent, naive, youthful, kind and fragile Patient No. 5, his unpreparedness in matters of love, was especially suitable as a youth who just joined society. It made the random encounter in the cinemas as the prelude of love more believable, and also gave a firm foundation to his actions later on, the multiple setbacks in later on, his wanderings, and his endless searching. With his wife and Jiang Hong, he had different relationships, the former was a budding first love, the latter came from empathy, Xiao Zhan had slightly different portrayal for the different phases of space and time, the cycle from simple to confusion, from searching to questioning, there was careful understanding and detailed handling. After discovering Gu Xianglan’s tracks, the clear longing that Xiao Zhan gave off collided with the layered longing from Xu Qing after her tribulations, was like the undercurrents under a calm lake, it drew in the rousing emotions, and became the strong force that pushed the story forward.

Xiao Zhan has the ability and the reason to achieve much better results in future theater stages. With time, if he could become even more at ease with the control of his body, if he could be even more accurate during the changes of character condition, I trust that he could achieve another breakthrough, and create even more challenging characters.

Reprising Patient No. 5 after many years, Yan Nan was obviously even more in-depth with his understanding of the script and character, and gifted the character a melancholy aura similar to those of an ancient poet, the quiet tones and deep glances became the key feature. The sense of accumulation of the vicissitudes, merged with Xiao Zhan’s portrayal, realized the continuation of the character’s fate. His performance on the hospital bed contrasted with Gu Xianglan on her hospital bed in a different time, and manifested Patient No. 5’s enlightenment after his miles of wandering, the person on the bed is awake, but those not were instead still dreaming. His calmness held the strings of every timeline together.

Zhang Liang’s portrayal of the Baron was the surprise of the show. If the old version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like the contest between eagle and the wild pigeon, the huge difference in power created the tragedy that made the audiences sad. The 2021 Yanghua version’s Baron and Gu Xianglan was like a pair of heavenly cranes, but they sang different notes as they flew to each other, and became a pair of lovebirds who hurt each other as they fell. The Baron became more romantic, more gentle and loving, but he remained prideful as he was still a noble beneath that amicable exterior, this was Zhang Liang’s new expression to the character, this also elevated Gu Xianglan’s difficulty in her choice, and even more so contrasted Gu Xianglan’s “evil” in her woeful revenge, and also left a branching point to the remaining love. His love for Gu Xianglan was true, it was not possession, but he loved the Oriental beauty, the caged Gu Xianglan, not the wild and free Gu Xianglan. Letting go and abandoning was his hopelessness for his lover, he felt that Gu Xianglan was letting herself go, she was betraying and depraving her beauty, he felt that his efforts were painfully wasted, it was not an attack on an escaped prey. This kind of portrayal made us wonder – love, was it to love a person, or was it to love an ideal? Love was to give or to receive? Was the ultimate goal of giving receiving?

The tragedy between Baron and Gu Xianglan became a tragedy of conflict between culture, social status and ideals. The difference between Baron and Gu Xianglan, did not merely exist on levels of culture and artistic ideals, but it was down to different life goals due to different cultural influences. It was hard for Baron to understand that his love only moved Gu Xianglan from a smaller cage to another bigger cage, even if he loved her deeply; Gu Xianglan who struggled for survival in a twisted environment, simply wanted to escape her cage, even if it meant poverty. This type of tragedy could not simply be explained with the character’s personality. The energy from repeated characterization is evident.

Huang Lu as Jiang Hong was a character that was rather difficult to grasp in “A Dream Like A Dream”. In her portrayal, Jiang Hong was an ordinary girl, who went through multiple troubles but was always chosen, besides her strong sense of survival, I almost could not see more personality. I remembered that I had brief flashes of a parallel universe while cooking eggs one morning, that was the state that she could not find herself or her position in life. She claimed herself as “the original Jiang Hong was dead, the Jiang Hong who arrived in Paris never existed” wanderer, her “relationship” with Patient No. 5 was merely a chance encounter in life, both of them were scared and questioning whether they should “fall into another relationship”. Huang Lu’s performance was very restrained, controlled, and tried hard to make herself not stand out, to do it to this extent was quite difficult. When she was talking about her stowaway escape, there was a point for emotional explosion, but yet she had to control it within the fine line between “surviving the calamity” and “unable to calm herself”. For this actress who was nominated multiple times for international awards and also won a national acting award, this was a rare stage experience.

Kong Wei, who just took off her costume in “Thunder Rain”, portrayed Shi Li Hong, the Mama-san of “Fairy Court”, in “A Dream Like A Dream”. Scheming and cunning in worldly matters, but yet she maintained her own sense of righteousness with Gu Xianglan and her sisters, fleshed out the character with even more emotions. Especially when the drunk professor professed his love for her, her teasing and forced calmness was mixed with surprise and shyness, as every emotion came at the same time, she managed them with ease, not only was the set brightly colored, there was also the sudden exposure of the character’s personality. Wang Peiyu who acted as the young Wang Debao, also showed the character’s clumsiness and stubbornness, his portrayal of passionate love was on point, which was just as brilliant.

There were many characters in “A Dream Like A Dream”, the group’s shared brilliance could not be forgotten, many actors who acted as multiple roles displayed exceeding energy. This came down to the Yanghua creativity production team, lead by Art Director Wang Keran, who had astute senses in actor selection as well as careful detailing in every part of the creation.

Luo Yongjuan, who portrayed a puppet in “Jewish City” and Li Zonglei, who had many important roles in many dramas and plays, both portrayed over 10 characters, and outstandingly completed the character creation for all of these different roles. Ruan Li, who portrayed the cousin, the dancer, the child, etc, also contributed multiple talents. Wang Weiqian, who portrayed Aunt Jin, the tourist, etc; Sun Zhongyi, who portrayed the professor, the old servant, etc, they all left deep impressions.

To display the characters but not to display themselves, this was the forefront of all theater actors, this was done by Xu Qing and Xiao Zhan, Zhang Liang and other stars, this was the respect they gave the play, the stage, the audience and themselves.

When the first kissing scene appeared for Xiao Zhan, part of the audiences were controlled but there were still some excessive “fan” reactions, but this did not interrupt his performance pace, this reminded me that Xu Qing and Hu Ge version also had the same situation many years ago. We could see that the actors were immersed, they prepared mental homework for every segment and detail, this was the hard work and the goal of both the production and the actors. Putting in efforts into acting and solely seeking the effects of celebrity, these are two totally different things after all.

When rehearsing or refreshing old classic plays, most of the time, methods such as subversion, recreation or simple replay were used. 2021 Yanghua’s version of “A Dream Like A Dream” is a case of production relying on the new cast to continuously discover deeper understandings, to recreate, and then to give audience a new icing on the cake while ensuring the quality of the play.

I was interviewed after the debut showing and said that this play was the Xiao Zhan’s starting point and not his ending point, and I also hoped that more capable actors would come to the theater stage, focus on the creation of art, and from that we could forge our own generation of quality “full celebrities”, such as Jin Shan, Shi Hui, Bai Yang, Zhang Ruifang, Shu Xiuwen, Laurence Olivier, Marlon Brando, Vivien Leigh, etc, of China. On the international theatrical stage, this is just commonplace.

[motherofake]

Even though I wouldn't call it the biggest issue with sh (defenitely one of the biggest, but there's a lot of issues for sure), but oh god I absolutely agree

It annoys me so much?? Like, the author could explore so many deep themes and approaches to gray morality and much more, but instead they went "Yes, he is a flawed character, who's been framed and betrayed which made him cruel and stern, so now he makes morally wrong things, because that's the easiest way for him to stay alive... But actually, you know, no, he's not bad for doing all this, because his actions almost never lead to any unfortunate consequences and he's better than these two, one of whom is a Bad Baddie™, and the other one is utterly stupid!"

They just HAD to make everyone around bad and stupid, because otherwise: 1) it would be harder to make Naofumi look good in comprasion; 2) there would be fewer annoying and unnecessary conflicts that are so frustratingly dumb that you have no choice but to side with Naofumi

You explained the most of the issue in your posts, but I also want to vocalize another problem that... Sides with the previous issue? Emanates from it?

Anyway

I'm talking about how practically none of those who disagree with Naofumi can properly formulate their position. There were SO MANY TIMES when the only reason Naofumi were painted to be in the right or not to be in the wrong was because his opponent couldn't just properly explain their standpoint and NOT stand there shocked and speechless after any slightest objection

First example that comes to my mind is Rishia vs Itsuki fight

So, here you have Good And Moral Naofumi's companion and Selfish And Stupid rival. At first, Itsuki accuses Naofumi for the stupidest things imaginable (like selling medicine to bad nobles or not reviving some random guy) so there's no way you could take his side. But then we move on to the elephant in the room — slavery thing. Itsuki just cannot NOT mention that. And that's something that's hard to show as if Itsuki doesn't have a point that slavery is bad, since, well, he does. What should we do in this situation? I'll show you a direct quote from the ln

“Mr. Itsuki, you said that Naofumi was forcing slaves into hard labor and keeping the profits for himself, right?”

Itsuki nodded with a look of disgust on his face.

“Then tell me. Why is everyone living in Naofumi’s village in good health? Have you heard from any slaves that were overworked? Have you talked with anyone who was nearly worked to death?”

“I don’t know about any of that. But there’s no way that Princess Malty or Mald would lie to me!”

“I’m asking if you verified any of this yourself!”

So basically, girl who's portrayed to be an EMBODYMENT OF JUSTICE literally says "Yes, he is a slave owner, but he's a GOOD slave owner, so you're wrong about him! No one is on their deathbed, so it's okay! Because, as you know, the only issue with slavery is some Bad Guys who use it to overwork the slaves"

This scene was planned to make readers think something like "Yoo, go queen, destroy him with facts!!!", but the only thought I had while reading it was something like "The author did not prescribe Itsuki a decent answer to this, because in this case they would have to elaborate and come up with a new excuse for why 'slavery is bad, but not in this particular case' and they didn't have one, did they"

I think the biggest issue with shield hero is the author accidentally wrote motoyasu into being in the right. this wouldn't have been an issue if they decided to address it instead of tripling down on him "being an idiot" instead of a morally upright dude who believed a woman when she claimed to be raped.

Naofumi for all intensive purposes looks like the most reprehensible motherfucker on the planet from the outside. I wouldn't take his goddamn side. but the story NEEDS you to be with him. so they thoroughly make him sympathetic before he buys the child slave. now don't get me wrong I love this plot point. I think "protagonist buys a child slave" could have been a fucking awesome story. but the author didnt actually want to go into how fucked up that is. they just wanted to write isekai wish fulfillment about a guy at the bottom revenge plotting his way to the top. this is fine to. this can be a perfectly serviceable or even good plot. the problem is the second sheild hero stops being a dark fantasy (episode 5) it gets obscenely boring. like so fucking dull.

this is because they didn't know how to get you onto naofumis (the man who owns a child slave) side without making the antagonist needlessly over the toply cruel (myne) or the most annoying performtive idiot on the planet (motoyasu)

lets examine motoyasu. hes a womanizer. not very bright. believes myne when she claims to be raped. duels naofumi to free a slave.

none of these things are bad. his attempt at free raphtalia (the slave) is maybe a tad performative, naofumi calls this out himself when he brings up slavery being legal, but its not evil. it GOOD. even if its a little to do with his personal beef with naofumi that to could just be interesting writing.

hes FLAWED (being gullible) yes but thats just being a well written character. (he isnt)

so the shows written a well meaning but flawed antagonist. hes against the protagonist bc he rightfully believes him an irredeemable monster who raped women and own slaves.

what will be done with this charater? nothing interesting i assure you. the episode after the duel instead of having him question why the slave girl actually liked naofumi at all (the man they at this point belive to BE A RAPIST (he isnt but they dont know that)) he shows up at a village to become a figure head lord. mynes calling all the shots. and she says the first decree will be that anyone who enters the village will have to pay a toll of FIFTY SILVER. FIFTY! Naofumi then says a night a board AND food is only 2. Thats above cartoonishly evil. thats just stupid. youre not going to make any money that way no one's going to be able to afford the fee. your just killing a village to kill it.

What does motoyasu do when this VERY CLEAR EVIL is happening right in front of him by HIS SIDE? look stupid and double down bc he doesnt like naofumi. he shows hes willing to fuck over a TON of people just to get a go at one guy.

this is the second their whole dynamic becomes so boring. it becomes "naofumi right"; "motoyasu stupid". when motoyasu loses his assumed moral high ground. when hes no longer fighting for what he believes is right.

whereas before their clashes had been moral and even nuanced to a degree now its just a postering idiot and a guy who can inly be bothered bc hes LITERALLY GENUINELY being forced to.

[oldestking]

@ardenssolis​​​​​ said ; “  am I hearing a deathbed confession ?  ”  /  from  :  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬  ;  𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬  𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞  𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦 : 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞  𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 .

                       ❝ Don’t be ridiculous. ❞  No hesitation dripped from his tone as his slit pupils grew larger, unnerving , hungrier, his gaze so sharp it could sink down and leave a dent even on bodies made out of shadows. This was an insult to him; how something that held not even a conscience was able to touch him and wound him .... It was unnaceptable. However Gilgamesh was not void of fault, for the king was a prideful man, and oftentimes his choices were drowned by his ego, so it was no surprise that toying around with the mouth of a hound could prove to have its consequences. How curious it was that some things could find their way to repeat themselves even past already learned experiences ...

❝ It is not your duty to pity, Ozymandias. You are speaking to a king. A deathbed confession? Don’t you dare establish such limits upon me ever again. ❞  As if the pharaoh could have a saying on when he’s had enough, where he could die, and when he’s reached his limits.... His patience was gone. What entertainment he was getting from this battle was now long gone as well, and as practical as how Gilgamesh was, he knew exactly what he had to do to get over this quickly and efficiently; 

He simply had to extirpate all dared touch him  Sink his teeth into flesh .

Paint the ground into his favorite color .

Slowly, golden gates began to open behind his back, illuminating the engraved red marks spread across his body that so often were unseen by others, and taking a sword from his treasury, his grip tightened around the grip as he observed the sword’s edge with almost an air of nonchalance, for he already knew that the edge was sharp.  ❝ Since you are being so observant today, then make sure you see this. ❞  Since incompetence abounds, let me show you what true damage looks like.

[frostedfaves]

Tactical Village

Pairing: Jake Peralta x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N gets a little jealous on Tactical Village Day. Rewrite of 1x19.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: mentions of gun use

-

Tactical Village Day. A national holiday at the nine-nine, and everyone had a different reason for celebrating. Rosa was out for blood, simply because it was in her nature to be. Terry had the stress of raising twins locked, loaded and ready to be released. Amy wanted to prove her skill level to the captain and check out the new handguns (but good luck getting her to admit her obsession with 'finger feel'). Jake wanted "Coolest Kill" and a children's karate trophy. Truth be told, all I wanted this year was to want Jake less.

It's exhausting being friends with the person you're hiding your feelings from, even more so when his best friend Charles thinks everyone is in love with Jake and overthinks all of our interactions. I'd fully planned to spend the day perfecting my tactical skills while listening to Jake explain the extensive backstory of his character as a friend. Then fate decided to throw a monkey wrench into that plan, and unfortunately for me, she was attractive.

"I'm so sorry," Jake awkwardly laughed, letting go of her arms after saving her from falling. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! I...wait, Peralta? Jake Peralta, hi! How have you been?" I couldn't fight the rolling of my eyes as she flipped her hair over her shoulder with a tilt of her head, grinning.

"I've been good, yeah!" He noticed her eyes flicker over to me and turned to introduce me. "Y/N, this is Nikki Becker. Nikki, this is Y/N L/N, my friend and fellow detective from the nine-nine."

"Pleased to meet you, Y/N." She shook my hand lightly before practically tossing it aside, never once taking her eyes off Jake. "I'm so glad we found each other again! We were best friends in the academy."

I glared at her as my arms found their way across my chest, locking together. "I thought Rosa was your academy BFF, Jake—"

"People can have more than one best friend," she quickly cut in, finally looking at me with a sickly sweet smile and eyes that could kill if they'd given us real bullets.

"Sure." I turned and walked over to where Rosa stood, smirking as I approached her. "Don't say anything," I quickly mumbled as I huffed out a frustrated breath and she chuckled.

"Why not? You were clearly winning."

"What?" I saw her eyes trained on something else and followed them to see Jake joining us.

"Hey, Y/N! Ready to check out those handguns now?" Before I could respond, we were also joined by Nikki.

"Jakey! They have this new gun that attacks through sound that's supposed to be really accurate. Come check it out with me!" she insisted, tugging on his arm as he looked to me with a raised eyebrow.

"It's fine, I'll go with Rosa." I held a smile as he finally let her drag him away until they were completely out of my sight, turning to Rosa with a sigh. "Let's not even talk about it. I don't want Charles to hear."

"He's gone to get a 'cafe con leche', so we've got about ten minutes. But if you really don't wanna talk about it we can draw some hair on the targets, grab some brand new weapons, and pretend we're damaging the vocal chords that produce that stupid voice of hers." I laughed and followed her outside.

-

The rest of our field testing and target practicing time went by smoothly...for Nikki, at least. She spent most of the time latched onto Jake like a long-haired leech while I spent my time shooting targets until they were covered with thick layers of paint, constantly running out of bullets every time I heard her vomit inducing giggle.

"Dude, are you alright?" Amy questioned when I slammed down an empty gun and reached for another one.

"Perfectly fine, Ames," I replied without looking at her as I shot five straight bullets into the poor target's head.

"Okay, I think you've had enough practice." She turned the safety on and took the gun from my hands, setting it back on the table I got it from. "What's going on with you?"

I parted my lips to answer her, quickly closing them again and turning to glare at giggly Nikki and oblivious Jake as he showed her how to handle a new assault rifle. Feeling sick to my stomach, I faced Amy again and tried hard to paint on a smile that she wasn't buying.

"Why don't you just save his and what's-her-face's time and tell him how you feel?"

I sputtered out a laugh. "Tell him how I—what? You're hilarious. No, I've decided to take a page from Rosa's book. Wait until I'm on my deathbed and then tell him how I feel...or felt. I don't know who I'm gonna like by then. Point is I can't get rejected when I'm dead."

"Y/N, that's ridiculous! You're really going to risk what could be the start of a great relationship? You and Jake talk about everything."

"This is different. There's a very real possibility that telling him how I feel could ruin the whole friendship and I'm just not ready for that, okay?"

She sighed. "Alright, I get it. But at least try to act like you're not imagining that girl's face every time you shoot a weapon." She gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and moved over a bit to work on her own target.

"No promises," I told her as I picked up the gun she took from me earlier.

-

We were now in our training simulation. Sneaky little Amy insisted that she should do perimeter security with Rosa and Charles because she thinks we would "kill at being the assault team, no pun intended". I think it was just her way of saying "tell Jake how you feel".

Luckily Jake was too involved with perfecting Rex Buckingham in all of his signature move and catchphrase glory to give me a chance to bring up any kind of feelings to him. I was especially thankful I had my back to him when he told me some little fact Nikki told him earlier, because I simply couldn't hide my grimace at the mere mention of her name.

We'd just approached the end of the hallway when shots rang out before I could react. I eyed the paint in my hair and on the wall by my head, frozen in place as Jake took the perp down.

"No one shoots a mate when Rex is around," he proudly stated in his accent with a grin, instantly letting it fall when he turned to me. "Hey, are you okay?"

I closed my eyes tightly before opening them and meeting his. "Okay, so I was going to save this for my deathbed someday but apparently I can die randomly in a hallway. So here goes. I like you. I have for a really long time and it sucks being friends with you and not being able to say anything because I don't want to ruin what we already have. But it sucks even more not being able to have more with you and definitely watching you and clingy Nikki together sucked the most."

He looked at me for a second with an unreadable expression, about to respond just as he was cut off by our radios.

"Peralta, L/N. Hostages in room 409, armed suspects."

"We'll talk later," he assured me with a small smile as he took off down the hall, and I couldn't tell if I should be worried or relieved. 

-

The excitement of a perfect run and setting the course record along with the odd situation of Jake using Scully's move kept the squad occupied all the way to Shaw's. I hadn't had a moment alone with him since my big hallway confession and I only grew more anxious with time.

"Three shots of Jack Daniels, please." I kept my eyes on the liquor bottles as I waited for the bartender to come back, aware of Amy coming to sit next to me.

"Celebrating or drowning your problems?" she joked and I simply rolled my eyes at her. "Okay I'm sorry for setting you up like that but I just didn't want to see you struggle so much."

"Well good news for you. I don't think I'll be able to struggle anymore if Jake never talks to me ever again. I've officially scared him off."

"I promise you haven't." I froze in place again as he slid onto the stool on my left. "Hey Santiago, can we get a moment alone?" He waited until Amy disappeared before speaking again. "About what you said earlier—"

"Jake, it's okay. Whether you wanna keep being friends with me or if knowing I like you is too much to handle, it's okay. Really. Whatever you decide, I'll find some way to—"

Warm lips landed on mine and I closed my eyes instantly. I waited until his arms wrapped around my waist and found a place to rest my hands on, wanting to confirm that I wasn't imagining a second of this. My eyes fell open again when he pulled away, a little wider this time because I was still slightly doubting what this means.

"I know that probably wasn't the clearest answer so I'll say this. I'm sorry that I let Nikki ruin what was supposed to be a fun time for us, but I can't say I regret it because she helped me find out something I was too scared to ask you on my own." He smiled and pushed his fingers through my left hand. "I'm also really glad you didn't wait till your deathbed to tell me because I would prefer to start being your boyfriend now."

I pulled my hand away and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Take me on a date first, clingy." I grinned and he laughed, quickly handing over some cash to the bartender and holding up one of the shots.

"To the start of something more."

I tapped my glass to his. "To something more."

"To something more," Charles added, grabbing the third shot and tapping it to ours. He downed the drink and pulled us both into a hug before we could react. "I can't wait to babysit your children."

Jake and I made eye contact and nodded, ducking out of the hug simultaneously and locking hands as we walked off. When we were far enough away, we toasted again and drank, staring at each other with possibilities of the future reflecting in our eyes.

[imherongraystairstrash]

Anna & Christopher

A/N: This one’s for one of the many iconic sibling duos in tsc!! It’s not entirely centralized on Anna and Kit, but I tried my best. Oh, and there are Chog Spoilers so make sure you’ve read the book. Also, thank you guys so much for your kind comments and for liking and reblogging my last fic! It really makes my day!! Next up: Gabrily Wedding! (you guys really love Gabrily haha!! It’s a good thing they’re one of my favorites as well!) -Ana

Anna had come back from patrolling with Thomas when she heard the news: Christopher was attacked by a demon and is now lying sick in the Silent City. Anna had been laughing mere minutes before she entered her parent’s house. Laughing, while Kit was dying. Anna closed her eyes.

When she and Thomas had opened the door to her parent’s house, Anna felt a chill go through her. Cecily sitting was on the floor. Both of her hands were clutching on the telephone she was holding close to her chest. There were tears streaming down her eyes. Her father had been pacing; he was grabbing fistfuls of his hair. Alex was staring at them from behind a door with his eyes wide open. When Gabriel looked up, he walked over to Anna and Thomas and embraced them tightly. Anna knew that something terrible had happened.

Cecily had desperately tried to get permission to enter the Silent City so that she could see her oldest son, possibly for the last time. Gabriel was trying to look composed for the sake of Anna’s younger brother Alex, but he wasn’t able to manage it. Thomas was standing, though Anna could see him slightly swaying. Thomas has lost so much already in the hands of this stupid disease.

Anna still couldn’t believe it. Her brother, her sweet innocent brother, was in agony and dying in the Silent City and there was nothing she could do. The thought of him made her eyes sting and her breath come shallow. She tried to swallow the bile coming up her throat. Anna didn’t want this. They had already lost someone dear not so long ago, she couldn’t bare lose her sweet brother too.  

Anna walked into her old room. It felt strange going in there after so long. The walls were still that pastel color Anna had dreaded when she was living there. Perhaps it was because Anna had more important things to worry about, but the color didn’t seem to bother her anymore. Not that she would ever chose that color to paint anything hers, but it felt nostalgic. It reminded her of a time when she would sneak into her brother’s room and wear his terrible clothes. Anna smiled to herself as she sat down in the bed.

“Anna?”

She looked up and saw Alex, her younger brother, staring back at her. When he was born, he had very dark blue eyes, like her’s, her mother’s and Will’s. But as time progressed, Anna noticed the color changing to a more greenish blue; a mix between her Father and Mother's.

“Alex, bach, are you alright?”

“I’m scared.”

“Come here, cariad.”

Alex walked up to her and she hoisted him up, setting him down on her lap. He wrapped his arms around her.

“What frightened you, Alex?” she said softly.

“Mam got a phone call and begun screaming and crying. I thought she was dying.” Alex told her. Anna could see the fear in his eyes. He had never seen his parents in such despair. Anna planted a kiss on his head.

“Alex, do you know what happened to Christopher?”

Alex nodded, “He’s sick.”

“Yes. Mam and Papa are frightened because they don’t want to lose him.” Anna heard her voice crack slightly.

“Will Kit die?” Alex asked. The tears in his eyes made Anna’s heart break. She held him closer.

“I do not know, Bach. Hopefully, a cure is found.”

“I don’t want Kit to die. He always makes me laugh.”

Alex was clinging on to Anna, his face was pressed to her shirt. Anna stroked his soft hair.

“Kit is silly, isn’t he?”

Alex wiped his eyes and nodded.

“Do you remember when he blew up his closet?”

Alex laughed softly.

Anna’s throat began to hurt. She was not ready to lose Kit. She would never be ready.

All of a sudden, the phone rang. Anna set Alex down, and held his hand as they walked down the hall to where Cecily was answering the phone. Gabriel bent down to pick up Alex and put a hand around Anna, holding her close. Cecily’s eyes opened wide as she dropped the phone. Gabriel let go of Anna.

“Cec?” Her father sounded as though he was dreading the news.

“That was Will.” Cecily looked surprised, “Christopher made a cure before he got sick and Thomas has manufactured it. They’re taking it to the Silent City right now.”

It seemed as though the entire house sighed in relief.

“Wait,” Anna said as her parents were hugging, “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Oh, Alastair Carstairs, Cordelia’s brother.”

Interesting, thought Anna.

“Are we going to see Kit now?” Alex asked.

“Oh no, honey. You are going to stay with Uncle Gideon and Aunt Sophie for a while.” Cecily said, planting a kiss on his head. Alex frowned.

“You can see him tomorrow, bach.” Gabriel said softly.

Alex nodded. Anna felt bad for Alex, but she knew it would be better he didn’t see Kit in the state he was. She did not know what the injuries looked like, but she could only assume they were not pretty.

Anna kissed Alex’s head before he walked through the portal. Gideon and Henry were waiting on the other side. Her father’s brother looked older after the untimely death of his oldest daughter, Barbara. Nonetheless, he was smiling sadly as he watched Alex walk through, and took he hand.

Cecily was kissing Christopher forehead over and over while holding his face in her hands, repeating loving words in Welsh. She had practically flung herself at him, and didn’t seem to be letting go anytime soon. Christopher (who was dazed from the antidote) was confused when he saw his Mam with tears in her eyes, caressing his face (which was burning up) with her cold hands. Gabriel appeared behind her and put his hand on Kit’s head, stroking his hair softly. Christopher had suffered greatly when the poison was in his body. All he wanted was to have his father hold him close in his arms, like he used to do when he was younger. He wanted Mam to kiss him on the forehead like she does whenever he leaves the house. He wanted Anna to ruffle his hair and to tell him to stop ruining his clothes. He wanted to see Alex smile and Thomas’ company Uncle Henry’s lab. These happy memories ran through his head, as though to show how lonely he was.

He didn’t want to die alone.

“Kit,” Thomas had said, his voice hoarse as he gave him the antibody, “Kit, you did it, your antidote worked. Some Shadowhunters are already recovering.” Behind him Alastair stood there, watching. Kit did not understand why he was there, but he was not here anymore. Maybe hallucinations were a side effect; he had to write that down.

Now, his Mam had moved to embrace Thomas and then Matthew, who was taken by surprise. His Papa had moved to the side to make space for Anna, who was smiling widely at him.

“What happened, Kit?”

“Oh,” Christopher was confused. He turned to his father. “Did you not inform Anna that I was attacked by a demon?”

Gabriel and Anna laughed. Christopher was even more confused.

“Only you could find a cure for a disease, be on your deathbed while it’s being made and not understand something as simple as sarcasm.” Anna said.

Sarcasm. “I don’t like that word. It always confuses me.”

Anna and Gabriel laughed again. Cecily scolded them for confusing Christopher while he had been so close to death, not even an hour ago. Anna took his hand and laughed through her apology, which got Gabriel smiling. Christopher blinked. He was very confused.

Uncle Will and Aunt Tessa later came with Lucie. Though he enjoyed their company, Christopher didn’t exactly know why they were here. It felt like a reunion. Maybe he had died and this was heaven. Or hell. He couldn’t really tell without his glasses on.

“Am I dead?”

“Yes.” Anna said

Gabriel and Will both burst out laughing. Cecily elbowed Gabriel as he covered his mouth. Will looked at the ceiling, a wide smile across his face, trying to contain a laugh. Cecily had a murderous look on her face, before turning to Kit sweetly.

“No, Bach. Thankfully,” She turned and shot a look at Gabriel, “You are alive. Unfortunately, both your father and your Uncle Will act like children.”

“What about Anna? She was the reason we began laughing.” said Will.

“I thought you were the Cool Uncle, Will.” Anna said

“I would rather be Mean Uncle Will than have Cecily beat me up.”

“More like the Cowardly Uncle.” Tessa said.

Although everybody laughed, Will looked betrayed. Christopher patted his hand, which was resting on the bed frame, with his own.

Anna watched as Gabriel helped Kit walk up the stairs back to ground level. When they got there, James was still propped up against the tree, talking with Matthew. James Herondale looked as if he had fallen off of a tree on his face, onto pavement, and slid three blocks. And that was an understatement.

“Time to get up, Jamie bach.” Will said cheerfully as Jamie groaned.

“We probably should have gotten a carriage instead of coming by foot.” said Will.

James, who had his eyes closed until then, opened them wide. “Is that a joke?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

James looked over at Tessa.

“Sorry, Jamie.”

James winced as Will tried to get him on his feet.

“Don’t hurt him.” Tessa said.

Will threw a fake punch at James’ face causing Tessa to shake her head. Anna couldn’t help but notice how every time James winced, Will did as well, as though it caused him physical pain to watch his son struggle. Anna thought back at how Cecily had acted when Kit was dying. She couldn’t imagine how broken Sophie and Gideon were. To know that they will never see Barbara again. The thought felt like a dagger piercing Anna’s heart.

They all departed at the same time. Towards the back, Will was making terrible jokes, which induced several groans from James, Lucie and Matthew. Each step James took was labored and heavy, almost painfully to watch.  

Christopher walked along side Anna as they headed towards the house. The antidote worked perfectly, and her brother was soon walking without difficulty, though his chest must still be in pain.

“You scared us, Kit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Anna’s heart broke, “It was not your fault.”

“Oh,”

They were silent for a while. From a distance they could hear Will.

��You know Jamie, when you were a baby, I used to be afraid to drop you because you looked like me and was therefore so beautiful. But since your face is ugly and messed up, now I can drop you all I want! It won’t make a difference!” he said, swaying James slightly.

“Will, if you drop Jamie, I will divorce you.” said Tessa.

“I will approve of that divorce.” James said, wincing through each step.

Anna turned her attention back to Kit. “Alex really wanted to see you.”

Christopher looked around. “Where is he?”

“He’s with Uncle Gideon.”

“Oh.”

Anna looked around. Gabriel had an arm over Cecily and was holding her close to him as they walked. Thomas was talking with Lucie. Matthew was beside Will and James, there to help if they needed it, but as always, he seemed a bit distant. Tessa was looking worriedly as Will helped James walk. Despite all of his joking around, Will was supporting James with all of the care in the world.

“I’m glad you are here, Kit.”

“Me too. I was afraid I was going to die alone in the dark.”

Anna wrapped her arms around her brother.

“As long as I live, you will never die alone, Kit.”

[collegeboardofficial]

Finally got to finishing a new fic! enjoy!! If you wanna read it here instead of on the link, here you go:

Veronica swayed with Archie, rocking side to side as a slow, sappy song played just a little too loudly from the speakers. Archie couldn’t take his eyes off of Veronica. She couldn’t bring hers to meet him. She felt his hands press on the small of her back and she tried not to jolt, shrinking away from his grip.

“You having fun, Ronnie?”

“Mhmm.” Veronica gave a weak smile back at him, nodding, then looking away, searching the rest of the dancefloor for Betty and Jughead. 

She felt guilty. She told Archie she’d go to the homecoming dance with him, but Veronica couldn’t bring herself to enjoy this at all. She knew Archie wanted something more from this, and she thought she did too, but the attraction she felt towards him, like those seven minutes in heaven and those early moments when they both met up after practice and just became infatuated with eachother over walks back home and chats on benches, it had all started to fade, being replaced by something much more tame. Yeah, she could imagine herself going out to the movies with Archie, but only if they were accompanied by Jug and Betty. She spotted Jughead standing by the punch bowl, but couldn’t manage to find Betty. She felt a light tap on her shoulder, swiveling her head towards it, only to find empty space. Betty stood on the opposite side, impressed at herself pulling the oldest trick in the book on Veronica.

“Sorry to interrupt you two, but do you mind if I borrow Veronica, Arch?” 

Archie looked back at Veronica before resting a hand on his hip, and the other on his chin, feigning deep thought. “Well… I was having a wonderful evening with this young lady right here.” He pointed at Veronica. Veronica huffed, rolling her eyes. 

“God, you are way too corny sometimes, Archie.” She chuckled.

Archie jolted away, stepping back and clutching his chest in pain. “Ronnie, Betty, help!”

Veronica dropped to the floor, pulling Archie up and throwing his arm over her shoulder. “Jesus, Archie, are you alright?!”

Jughead strolled by. “Give him a second.” He managed to get the words through a mouthful of cupcake.

Archie winced for a moment, propping himself back up. “Yeah, I’m good, everything’s fine, it’s just that”— He looked Veronica in the eye— “Words hurt, Ronnie.” He said with a smirk.

“You gave me a fucking heart attack!” Veronica gave him a shove on the arm.

“Like the one I just had?” Archie laughed

“I’m gonna remember this when you’re on your deathbed, Andrews.” Veronica poked him in the chest.

“Hey, that’s gonna be pretty soon if you don’t start being any nicer!” Archie pointed at her. 

“Let’s hope not though!” Betty cut in with a toothy smile. She grabbed Veronica’s hand, tugging lightly and leading away from the group. 

Veronica felt her heartbeat quicken, Betty’s hand on hers was like a shock to her system. Suddenly she had tunnel vision, nothing else mattered and it wasn’t like she could even handle thinking about anything else. She watched as Betty turned around to say something to her, and all she could do was quickly nod and smile, because boy did she need a moment to take in everything happening right now. Between the way Betty's hair just seemed to effortlessly fall to her side, the flashing lights on the dance floor, The way Betty’s dress showed off how cute she was while also showing off the biceps she usually hid away with long sleeved shirts and sweaters.... And the thumping of the speakers that made it hard for her to think about anything else (that was definitely it). 

Honestly though, she paused, what the hell was happening? It wasn’t like her to be so off her guard, especially at an event like the homecoming dance, a place where anything could happen, and an audience was ready to watch. This was Riverdale, after all. There were appearances to keep, people to impress, and all she could do was think about how pretty Betty Cooper looked. She felt her cheeks get warm, and was immediately thankful that all of the reds, blues, and purples of the dance floor’s lights hid her blushing. 

“Hey! Don’t be gone too long!” Archie called out to Betty and Veronica as the two made their way further from him and Jughead..

“Yeah, sure thing, dad.” Betty mumbled to Veronica before rolling her eyes. Veronica snorted. Betty’s grip on her hand tightened. Veronica felt her heart thump against her chest. The two kept going, making their way out of the gymnasium.

“Well, thanks for saving me from dancing with Archie for the entire night, but where are we actually headed, anyways?” Veronica asked as the two walked down the school’s hallways. 

“Uh,” Betty looked up, trying to think. “Well, I forgot something in homeroom that I needed to finish my homework, so... I thought you might want to come with me and check for it!” Betty sounded surprised by the words coming out of her own mouth.. 

“Uh huh.” Veronica grinned. “you’re pretty bad at bluffing, you know that, right?” 

“Well I guess the excuse never mattered, because you sure do look happy to be tagging alongside me right now.” Betty raised her eyebrows.

A terrible liar, but Betty Cooper was still the most astute person Veronica knew. She was at a loss for words, then she felt Betty's fingers trace her palm. The two looked at eachother for a moment. It was moments like this that she really hoped Betty wasn’t just trying to be a really good friend. This was it, the excitement, the electricity that she craved, that she just couldn’t feel with Archie.

Betty looked back ahead as they made their way to the end of a hallway. She tried to open a door to a classroom, but the doorknob wouldn’t budge. 

“How do you expect us to —” Veronica started, but Betty had already worked a bobby pin and paperclip into the lock, jostling them around and turning the knob. The door clicked open. Veronica put a hand on her hip. “—and where’d you keep those?” 

Betty tapped the bracelet sitting on her wrist. “Gotta be prepared.” She shrugged, walking into the room. Veronica shook her head, letting out a laugh.

Veronica stood back for a moment, watching Betty step inside, The ruffled edges of her dress knocked against the seats of the chairs that none of their classmates had pushed back into their desks. Betty paced over to her desk, kneeling down and searching inside of its supply holder, under the seat, and looking around. She looked up to see that Veronica hadn’t set foot into the classroom. 

“What’s wrong? Get in here already!” she motioned over before continuing. “You don’t want a janitor or someone to catch us loitering around.” 

Veronica breathed in, looking up for a moment. Here we go, she thought to herself. She stepped inside. The only light coming into the room was from the moon. The way Betty’s hair caught the ribbons of moonlight, complimenting the light green of her eyes, it made her almost too pretty to look at. As they locked eyes, Veronica closed the door behind herself, slowly stepping forward. 

“So, really, what’s that thing you had to come all the way back to homeroom to find?”

Betty stood up, brushing her dress off. Veronica strode up slowly to her. She was so nervous that she almost felt calm. She watched Betty’s posture straighten. Veronica, stepping up to her, maintained her eye contact. She always felt like she had a clue about Betty. She thought about what it would be like to ask her on a date, to walk up to her and kiss her, but this was the real thing. There was no going back, and if she was wrong about what she thought she felt with Betty...

“Remember, there is a right answer.” Veronica tried not to sound nervous while she prodded for a response..

Betty draped her hands around Veronica’s shoulders, circling a finger through one of the curls of Veronica’s hair. “You, obviously.”

Veronica could feel herself melt around Betty’s hands. She stood up on her toes, bringing her hands to Betty’s cheeks and gently pulling her in. Betty closed the distance, meeting her with a kiss. Veronica felt like she could be lost in this moment forever.

Betty broke away for a moment. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Veronica smirked. She wanted Betty to know without ever having to be told, just how long she’d had her eyes on her. Betty rested her hands on Veronica’s cheeks before pulling her in for another kiss. 

Veronica’s hands made their way to the small of Betty’s back as she leaned backwards, pulling the two on top of Betty’s desk. Veronica took the lead, painting Betty��s cheeks with kisses. All this time they’d spent as friends, she’d watched Betty deal with so much, so quickly. Veronica wanted to be her comfort.

Betty put a hand behind Veronica’s head, the other behind her leg. As the two started to make out, Betty placed one of her thighs between Veronica’s legs. Veronica took the cue to go further, letting her. Before the two could keep going, Veronica slipped off the edge of the desk, Betty’s arms wrapped around her, breaking her fall and hoisting her up. 

“Holy shit.” Veronica laughed, feeling her head rest around Betty’s biceps. She wrapped her legs around Betty’s waist. 

“Almost lost ya for a moment there.” Betty smiled.

***

“So you lost both of the ladies?” Jughead picked up a cupcake from the gigantic spread of party food in the gymnasium.

“It happened so fast, I barely realized that my date was gone for the rest of the night.”

“Well, tough titties, Arch.” Jughead watched Archie start to slouch, as he looked at the ground. “However.” Jughead said. Archie picked his head up like a golden retriever after hearing someone mention a walk. “Mr. Mantle’s been eyeing you for a while, now that you’re alone.” Jughead pointed right at Reggie, who was leaning across the bleachers next to Dilton Doiley and staring straight at Archie. Once he realized he’d been spotted, Reggie’s gaze shifted with haste.

“You’re kidding.” Archie laughed at Jughead. Reggie took a sip from a flask, offering some to Dilton without even looking at him. Once Dilton took a swig, Reggie slipped the flask back into the pocket of his blazer. Archie turned to Jughead in disbelief, then looked back at Reggie, who’s gaze came back to Archie, unflinching this time. Reggie kicked off from the bleacher. He gave Dilton a pat on the shoulder before making his way towards Archie and Jughead.

Archie felt himself start to panic. It was that chaotic wave of emotion when all control had certainly been lost and all you had to rely on was instinct. And Archie didn’t have great instincts, as reluctant as he was to admit it most of the time.

“So,” Jug looked archie in the eye. “you’re gonna tell me you haven’t been crushing on that doofus for these last couple months? At all?”

 “Jug, it doesn’t matter. He’s Reggie Mantle, There’s a laundry list of reasons that I can’t!” 

There really were. What were the bulldogs going to say? Not just that neither of the football team’s co-captains were straight, but also about the fact that they just so happened to be into eachother? He already could hear the jokes about the extra practice hours they spent together. Jug was accepting, but what about Betty and Veronica? Were they going to start seeing him the way they saw Kevin Keller? Was that even so bad? He didn’t want to lose the type of relationship he already had with them. And what about Fred? Archie was sure His dad would be supportive of him coming out, but the town delinquent was gonna be a hard sell. Archie’s head was like a bee’s nest, buzzing with thoughts.

“Oh, but you can.” Jughead cut off Archie’s train of thought. He took a sip of punch while pushing Archie forward with his other hand.

Archie stumbled onto the dance floor, looking back like a lost puppy. The scent of cinnamon and smoky wood wafted towards him and he turned back, almost bumping into Reggie’s chest. “You smell good.” Archie blurted out. “Did I say that out loud?” Archie felt his cheeks warming up. 

“You did, Andrews.” Reggie chuckled with a nod. 

“Crap.”

“Don’t sweat it, red. I put in some effort. It’s good to know that it’s going noticed, right?”

“Oh.” Archie’s heart was galloping, he felt like he drank two coffees and then threw in a couple of redbulls right before stepping onto the dancefloor. He tried to form the words. “Well-d”—

—“So you wanna dance, or...?” Reggie shrugged, throwing his hands up.

“Yup! Yes, thanks!” Archie was tumbling over his own words as he watched Reggie raise an eyebrow. He breathed in for a moment, trying to stay calm. 

“You’re gonna do fine.” Reggie laughed. He reached out and Archie took his hand. The two started to sway with the music, and Archie felt himself getting closer and closer to Reggie’s body. Reggie put a hand behind Archie’s neck, and Archie gave in to the comfort, resting his head on Reggie’s chest. They kept swaying, turning slowly. Archie caught a glimpse of Jughead, who Archie could have sworn was sleeping standing up, if it weren’t for the thumbs up that Jughead had pointed his way, making him laugh.”

“What’re you looking at, red?”

“Nothing.” He giggled before looking up into Reggie's eyes.. “By the way...”

“Yeah?”

“...It’s stupid, don’t worry about it.”

“Out with it already.”

“You’re comfy.”

“You’re goddamn right I am.” Reggie said with a smirk.

***

Holding eachother, listening to the faint echoes of the music from the gymnasium, Veronica pulled Betty close again, holding her face for a moment and looking into her eyes.

Even if it was in the cramped and uncomfortable Riverdale high classrooms, having this moment together, alone, it was nice. Not at all how Veronica had imagined their first kiss and everything after to happen, but it felt right. 

While Veronica was lost in thought, Betty took the moment to lean in and kiss her on the cheek. 

“Flattered to know that you just can’t stop kissing me.” Veronica laughed.

“Hey,” Betty pointed her finger at Veronica’s cheek. “It’s a very kissable face.” the two kept laughing, taking in the rest of the moment before an announcement blared across the speaker. 

*ALRIGHT RIVERDALE HIGH, WE’VE GOT 3 MORE SONGS LEFT, SO GET YOUR LAST DANCES IN!*

“Shit.” Betty froze, biting her lip as she started to hesitate.

“You want to finish the dance with everyone out there, don’t you?” Veronica looked at Betty with adoration.

“Is that totally corny of me?” Betty laughed.

“Not at all.” Veronica got up and returned the previous favor by planting a kiss on Betty's cheek before taking her by the hand. They ran down the hallway. As the pair made their way onto the dance floor, they settled into a sway, Betty held Veronica in her arms, and Veronica draped hers over Betty's shoulders.

“Thanks for making tonight so amazing..” Veronica whispered.

“I think you’re the one to thank.” Betty smiled.

“Would you be ok if I kissed you in front of everyone here?”

“You sure we’re not gonna hurt Archie’s feelings?”

“He and I were never really dating, just kinda flirting. Plus...” Veronica pointed behind Betty, who turned her head to see Archie and Reggie sharing a kiss. “I think he’s gonna be just fine.” Betty turned back, and Veronica surprised her with a peck on her cheek before moving to her lips. They swayed to the music, Letting the dance come to a close. 

Betty hugged her. “I’m so glad you moved here.”

“Me too.”

[laufire]

Black Sails s3

This one took me longer because RL got in the way LOL. I’ve loved it as much as the other two (even if I am IN PAIN over you-know-who’s death DD:). I don’t know when I’ll have the time to finish the last season, but I wanted to post about this one before starting it; otherwise it’d accumulate with the 10+ and counting metas I want to write about this show once I have the full picture LMAO.

Max

As always, I have to start with her because she’s THE FUCKING BEST. This woman is currently competing for the number one spot among fictional characters in my heart LOL (I mean. I have loved Caroline Forbes --who I actually think Max has a lot in common with lmao. Everything I love is the same, as I always say-- for too many years for her to ever be truly dethroned; unless something goes really wrong with Legacies I guess. However, it’s still remarkable that a character could make me doubt).

I’ve absolutely adored her plot this season; watching her growing sphere of influence, the way she affects and upends others’ lives. That’s very much being present since season one, especially with her and Silver in tandem (I have a lot of Thoughts(TM) about those too as a driving/disruptive force in the show --they’ll go to one of those metas--; I’m put off by the fact that I didn’t get to enjoy them conspiring together this season lol. Though her reaction to the fake Long John Silver letter was kind of hilarious xDD. Still. I kind of wish we’d seen the scene where Silver tells her he renounces to his part of the price. It could’ve been very interesting --I guess he could’ve told Jack but that wouldn’t’ve been as good, so this is my headcanon).

The most obvious storyline where this manifest is in her relationship with Anne and Jack. I love everything about it, but well. I have to admit, the ~betrayal/different sides element appeals to me xD. I like that Max prioritices herself and her safety. That she sees the writing on the wall with the English invasion or with Vane’s execution and acts accordingly, the way she calculates her decisions and forms alliances without letting past grievances get in the way --with Eleanor, Rogers, Mrs. Mapleton...--, the choices she makes because she doesn’t want to be “on the outside looking in” ever again and how they always end reverting in her benefit, ultimately (I’m getting ahead because I am spoiled of quite a few things about s4, but I LOVE that eventually she mends her relationship with Anne and Jack. Because it fits into this: how even the possible mistakes and emotional compromises she makes are within a very specific frame that works out for her in the end).

Her relationship with Anne gets even better this season. I think my favourite scene is where Max tells Anne that she nows Anne “cannot fathom leaving me”. Can I get this woman’s confidence LMFAO. But seriously. I luff them. I love how Max convinces Jack of going along her plan to replace the gold with good easier to transport (and how THAT ends up being Flint’s treasure asdñlfkasfj. MY GIRL DIRECTLY CAUSED THE EVENTS IN TREASURE ISLAND OKAY) by appealing to their mutual love for Anne. That she trusts Anne with the story about her father. That she knows just as well as Jack that Anne wouldn’t give up the treasure so easily and she’ll try to save him (and that Anne won’t stomach the thought of Jack being tortured because she couldn’t bear MAX’S torture. My heart).

Another highlight of the season for me was her relationship with Eleanor, which keeps being a huge surprise no matter what xDD (even if, again, never in a shippy way. I’m very glad the season doesn’t go there). I love the reversal of expectation in a general fandom landscape: how ultimately, Eleanor doesn’t have an emotional hold over Max (and that she lost it as early as 1x02, IMO. I’m not saying “Max doesn’t feel anything about Eleanor”, but the truth of the matter is, narratively Eleanor serves Max, not the other way around. And I’m happy and relieved about it, ngl), and that the same isn’t true the other way around. I thought two very telling scenes where a.) Max hosting parody trials of Eleanor that paint her under a completely undignified light, but clearly deriving no pleasure from it: it simply was yet another thing she does for practically, level-headed political reasons; and b.) that Eleanor orders Rogers’ men not to hurt Anne in the exchange because Max’s love for Anne.

Continuing down with Max’s relationships, I’ve grown to really like hers with Idelle. I think Max find Idelle fun, likeable, uncomplicated (the scene where Featherstone tells Idelle he hopes his pardon doesn’t diminish her attraction to her was hilarious and clearly the moment Max was enjoying herself the most in the whole season lmfao. BTW, I kinda liked Idelle/Featherstone since the moment he told Jack he wasn’t concerned because “he was in love with a good woman” and Jack was like “Idelle??”. Yes, it’s fun because client-falling-for-sex-worker is a pitiful cliché, but here’s the thing: he’s right xD. He didn’t say “I’m in love with a woman who loves me”. He said he was in love with someone GOOD and Idelle IS a good woman, dammit xDD).

Max doesn’t concern herself much with the idea of Idelle going behind her back because Idelle loves her, respects her, and is a loyal friend (and yet clearly sees Max exactly as she is and doesn’t have any delusions about it. Luckily for her Max is probably the type to feel angry but not vengeful about this lol, if only because it could reflect on her). And Max is right about that. But I love that Idelle still has it in her to take a different path by allying herself with the pirates. I’m curious about the reasoning being after Max makes Mrs. Mapleton madam again; it’s clear the girls aren’t happy about her and she didn’t seem like she took good care of them in s1, to put it mildly, so there’s some of that, but I like to think part of it was Idelle going, “seriously Max? I’m right here! I could be the Madam!” xDD.

Her dynamic with Mrs. Mapleton was really interesting too; I like how she too puts aside any old grudge and decides to put her bets with Max over Eleanor or Rogers, because she has confidence that Max and her methods (“I choose to let the players reveal themselves to me, least I make an enemy out of someone I might wish to call a friend one day”) will outlast them (btw, that line/her approach in general --as well as Silver’s “liked is a good as feared” MO--, kind of reminded me to Sansa Stark’s “If I am ever queen, I will make them love me.” line. Food for thought). Yet I think Mrs. Mapleton instructed Georgia to  attempt to ~seduce Max to get information out of her, which is very much in line with her. I loled at Max’s reaction basically being “gurl, who do you think you’re talking to. I practically invented this. GTFO” xDD

Basically, her entire storyline this season was pure gold. I love how all of those dynamics come from her maneuvers to keep herself safe, in power, and with influence (because those go hand in hand). I love her pride and her confidence, the way she refuses the scraps Eleanor and Rogers intend to give her at first (and how she firmly says to Eleanor “people do not speak to me that way anymore”, how she establishes a new normal between them), and how she pays her way out of trouble/into power with the gold she stole from Flint & co xDD.

My favourite moment of hers is devided between “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”, and “I AM Nassau” (that made me decide that if I ever write fic where Max needs a last name for any reason, it’s going to be Nassau. It is law), and how meta they’ll turn out to be :DD. I also have Thoughts about the evolution of her styles (beyond the obvious “omg she’s soooooo beautifuuuuul” lmao) but I’ll leave that for another show-encompassing meta too :P

Madi

She catapulted herself to Forever Fave status pretty quickly (I may have too many of those in this show.  W h a t e v e r  xDD). I love how self-assured she is (“when I speak my men listen, and they do as I say”), and how she always thinks of the big picture (like when she fought her impulse to order her men to fight against the pirates after one of them beat one of hers). And I have a lot of Feels about how this is explicitly linked to her heritage, her mother and father, their ~legacies.

Speaking of: one of the few major spoilers I seem to have avoided was that Mr. Scott was Madi’s father LOL. I was DELIGHTED by that reveal, and how it makes you reconsider his story. His relationship with Eleanor could’ve been a frankly off-putting cliché, but this completely circumvents that; it’s true that he’d shown more independence from her than I would’ve expected in another show, by leaving her side to do his own thing and further contributing to her vulnerability. But giving him a real* family, one that he prioritises over Eleanor and HID FROM HER, using her position to their benefit... That’s on a whole other level.

*I know some people are going to object to this qualifier. Fandom gets like that about found families, adopted families, etc. And I get it, but this is NOT like those situations. Mr. Scott was Eleanor’s SLAVE, FFS. That is incompatible with being her family, her father figure, no matter what she thought. And I love that the show made it explicit, when Madi tried to talk about his “two daughters” and he said “NO. ONLY YOU” in his deathbed (I might or might not have cried, okay. It may be one of my favourite scenes in the whole series). Especially when there’s a very obvious trend of characters of color COINCIDENTALLY being written as prioritizing white characters over their biological families, at the cost of their health and even their lives (I am still not over Monty being forced to kill his own mother to protect Octavia in The 100. Fuck that shit, seriously). Black Sails deciding to do the oposite here is FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY and I love it to pieces.

Another thing I loved is that they picked an actress that looks more like Mr. Scott than like her mother or Max (darker skin etc.): aka how the few black female characters that usually get what Madi will from Silver --that ~eternal devotion, willing to go against anything and anyone for her etc.-- tend to look.

Unsurprisingly, I like Madi/Silver VERY MUCH lol. I like that he is immediately ~drawn to her, in a subtle way, and viceversa (like in the scene where he’s still in the cage watching how she has trouble breathing after seeing her wounded father, or when they hug after his death). All their talks about power, responsibility, succession etc. are really good. And her concern for him is as palpable as probably inconvenient for her xD. I love the scene where she holds her hand as his leg is treated, or her worry one Silver calls himself a “one legged creature”. Though my favourite might be when he smiles when she shows concern for his state after killing Dufresne, and she’s like “well duh, if you fall apart the alliance between my people and yours is screwed” xDD

And though there hasn’t been much development yet on that side, I’m already so onboard with Flint/Madi/Silver lmfao. I love that nod of ~acknowledgment between Flint and Madi with the Maroon Queen’s voiceover about how Madi will have as much authority as Flint in his own ship xD. Her concern about Silver’s relationship with him is kind of ironic knowing that they’ll eventually find themselves more aligned between them than with Silver, by virtue of their many commonalities LOL. And there’s already traces of that ot3 feels, like when Madi tells Silver that the mistake of those “other people close to Flint” that he’s so scared of following to the grave was trying to deal with Flint alone (Madi’s seduction technique: kindness, understanding, and offers of partnership. I dig it).

I want more scenes of and with her mother, too. And between her mother and Silver, since apparently the Maroon Queen trusts him among all the pirates NOT to betray them for money (Jack saying the irony wasn’t lost on him and Flitn was hilarious xD) and that has to be thanks to Madi’s opinion of him. I’m kind of bitter we never got a Mr. Scott & Silver scene, too, especially after Silver and Madi become romantically involved. I love that stuff.

Miranda

I could just upload a bunch of gifs of various crying/in pain/etc. states here because WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS THE PAINNN. I was ~feeling Flint’s grief the entire time, I swear (though... did it have to express itself by shaving his head... asking for a friend). The violence he kept inflicting in her name (her word will be the last word); how he convinced his crew, Silver included, to go into the storm rather than surrendering, for her (and narratively speaking Silver is right, he did conjure it xDD). How fucking tired he is of it all (“you can talk your way part it”, “I don’t know that I have any more lies left in me”).

As far as I’m concerned he could be hallucinating her the rest of the show (I’m going to miss seeing her so much... especially in light of the ending), as painful as I find those scenes. At this point “But when I lost you... I am ruined over you” is an instant tear-jerker, ugh. So is Flint wantint to let go and “be with her”, and ghost!Miranda saying she’d resent him for giving up. Though my favourite is when Miranda basically describes herself as his “maker”, about how she ~shaped him *clenches fist*. I love those kinds of ships.

BTW: I think the moment Rogers mentioned Thomas, Miranda’s ghost, Flint, and I, yelled “HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME” on the inside xD

Flint & Silver

Sometimes fandom gets it right because the relationship between these two is... A Lot. A LOT. I anticipate a lot of suffering on my part in the near future xD

I loved the evolution in the first half of the season, from Flint telling Silver that “in my head, you’re not welcome”, or Silver resenting that Flint’s words convinced HIM (HE’S the convincer!! It’s not supposed to happen to ME!! xDD) and rambling about how Flint is “able to ~conjure the reality he desires”, to Silver finally confessing about his part on the Urca gold robbery (which I’m at least 60% sure Flint suspected already tbh. That was not one of Silver’s best lies lbr) in order to force Flint to “account for ME” --but ofc still grabbing the nearest weapon as he confeses, just in case xDD. I am also incredibly delighted by the fact that the fandom calls that episode “shark date” asdñflkasjdf (*Flint and Silver barely manage to kill one shark*; Flint, challenging: again? *Silver grins*. Shark hunting = foreplay now, apparently).

I want it known that I end up ENRAGED every time they talk about their ~partnership lmfao. It comes off very intimate and gives me too many feelings xD. “When you and I talk with one voice, we can convince them of anything”; “your words opened that door [Flint convincing the Maroon Queen to spare their lives and join their fight]”; “you didn’t tell me the journey into the dark feels good”; “he doesn’t know how to say no to the both of us at the same time”; “I’m afraid I will be the end of you”. JUST STOP YOU ASSHOLES XDD

One of my favourite moments is when Silver convinces Flint to live. To go on, to talk to the Maroon Queen without a safeguard (that knife would’ve been his doom) and get her on their side (which Flint does with a super passionate speech about fighting England’s empire. ILH). Another is when Silver tells him he enjoyed killing Dufresne WITH HIS PROSTHETIC LEG OMFG (I personally think killing Dufresne was very valid of him lmfao), or Flint says Silver enjoyed punishing Dobbs (which in Silver fashion, worked perfectly for him because it made Dobbs MORE susceptible to him). Though obviously everything pales when compared to the scene where CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE LMFAO. I loved that scene; it was so gentle. And then Silver made it about him and their relationship xDD (this show is not subtle). Flint’s apparent lack of concern about Silver replacing him is stressing me out though. I dread the series finale xD

Outside of Flint/Silver, Silver’s journey remains awe-inspiring. I just... love him. I love that he gave up his share of the Urca gold because he had to hold onto the crew, but that he is terrified of their bow to take care of him. His concern for his image in front of them was heartbreaking and hit waaaaay too close to home, too. And I wonder how he’s going to react to Billy’s King Long John Silver stratagem xD

BTW, I lowkey shipped him with Muldoon LOL. They should’ve had ~tender sex~~ (on screen, I headcanon it did happen off-screen, whatever) at some point (if only so there was one measly mlm sex scene in the show amidst all the rest. It’s troubling, to say the least, that there’s not a single one when it has a queer male lead tbh. And I get why they didn’t go that route with Flint outside of Thomas and can even see why they didn’t do it with Flint/Thomas even if I judge the hell out of them for it, but given how they go out of their way for the other options... yeah, I side eye them).

Jack

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I WISH HE HAD MORE SCREENTIME, OKAY. Every time he opens his mouth the show gets just a little bit better, if you ask me xD. “If you’re going to behave like children, I will be your daddy” WHO SAYS THAT JACK XDD.

I loved him even more when he decided to deny Rogers & co the cache, Spanish invasion or not, to not give up and assure “his legacy”. And OF COURSE he could write his intentions in a way that only Anne would understand (Max reaaaally understimated him there). Their relationship remains the sweetest (weird adjective, maybe, but it’s true) part of the show, btw. I love that how Jack describes how hurt Anne would feel after knowing she might’ve unwittingly betrayed him. Or when he knew Anne giving up to easily meant she had a plan and he cheerfully told Rogers Anne would find a way to save him xD (the scene where he absolutely drags Rogers about his privilege --“but did I make up a lot of ground to catch you!”-- is perfect. And their reunion kiss was so, so cute.

Other highlights were when he threw away the key of the cache in front of Flint to secure it, or made his pitch to be his fellow captain in the fight. I also take a petty pleasure in the fact that Vane sacrificed himself when he went to his rescue LOL. 

I like that he convinced Blackbeard to fight alongside them, but sweetie, you have NOTHING to prove to that asshole. His opinion is worthless (between his “strife is good” and Vane’s “comfort is for women” takes... ugh. They remind me of the exact discourse among leftism I hate okay xDD. In Vane’s case I at least get where he’s coming from and I even agree in part, but Blackbeard is even more boring).

Misc

-I love Billy’s more and more insidious antagonism towards Flint lmfao (yes, Flint is also one of my Forever Faves. This is compatible AND the kind of thing that would make me appreciate Billy more. I love irreverence, period). It starts with subtle ways of trying to poison Flint and Silver’s relationship (telling Silver Flint doesn’t see him as an equal, sending Silver to deliver Flint’s message instead of Flint himself, etc.). I laughed at him saying he’s all for Flint sacrificing himself for the crew since it’d be the “first selfless thing I’ve seen him do!” lol. Or that he “wants a good view when things catch up with Flint and the world makes sense again”. And ofc, creating the legend of Long John Silver. You just know he remembered Flint’s out of left field “I AM YOUR KING” and said “not on my fucking watch” xDD. And I love the irony of him being the one delivering black spots LOL.

-Did it really took that long for Anne and Flint to share some freaking words smh. Barely, but I’ll take it. I liked the moment where Jack references Max as “Anne’s lost love” and Flint does that Closeted Queer Observing A Queer Couple Look lol (he did the same when he was witness to Max and Eleanor’s fight. You need more queer friends, Flint :P).

-I liked Mrs. Hudson from the moment that she told Eleanor that the only difference she saw between her and other ladies is that their families have better lawyer --which meant Eleanor was the first one she could be rude towards xD--, and accused her of living of her father’s nepotism LOL. I hope she ends up in a good place and safe back with her kids.

-I can’t say I care much about Vane or his relationship with Eleanor, but his death and her hand on it were very well written IMO.

-I find Rogers so inherently unlikeable in every way LMFAO. And as hypocritical as it might sound, part of it is the extramarital affair ngl. I hate storylines where a man married to a more “conventional” woman is ~attracted to one he perceives as “stronger”, “fiercer”, and more worthy of himself (as if his opinion on the matter is worth shit) --only to eventually try and make the new woman more conventional once he “has” her. This one hasn’t gone all the way there but it has traces of that trope and I loathe it with all my heart.

-The only moment I managed to pay attention to Blackbeard was when he mentioned he had shrapnel advancing towards his heart, and for anyone who knows me a little, you know it’s because my brain linked that to Tony Stark lmfao. *Sighs* I just never like any version of Blackbeard, period. I find them so boring. He’s the opposite of Long John Silver that way, because I’ve loved every single version I’ve encountered so far.

-The way Spain is portrayed in this show is so... unusual. Especially for USA content in my experience. One day I’m going to have to do some more research and write about how Spain (and in particular Spanish violence -inter and intranational) is portrayed across the ocean.

[neostar-entertainment]

Title: Misconceptions

Pairing: Yeonjin/Eunjae (YeoJae)

Summary: Throughout the years they’ve been friends, everyone close to Yeonjin and Eunjae automatically assume they’re dating, and neither boy could quite place their finger as to why. (aka two times yeojae’s friends/loved ones assumed they were dating and one time they went along with it)

Previous Episode: One

2014

“I hope you’re ready to stay up all night long, because you don’t get a say in this.”

“What if I close my eyes longer than five seconds?”

“I’ll give you a kiss to wake you up like sleeping beauty!” 

Eunaje snorted as he shook his head, a smile creeping onto his face as Yeonjin opened the door to his bedroom, letting out a tiny whine when the latter realized he didn’t clean up his room from the previous night. 

“Looks like my Prince Charming isn’t all that charming, huh?” 

Yeonjin turned around to look at Eunjae with an exaggerated frown, his eyes gleaming with a hint of playfulness that contrasted the way his bottom lip jutted out into a small pout. 

“Okay, okay, you’re the perfect amount of charming.” 

“Good!” Yeonjin exclaimed, patting Eunjae’s shoulder, before turning back around and rushing around his room to clean up after himself, leaving Eunjae to awkwardly stand by the doorway, not knowing whether to help or sit on the bed. 

Both the boys had finished their training for the day at the company, and with the weekend coming right around, Yeonjin had invited Eunjae for a sleepover. They had been friends for about a year since they met in a practice room at Neostar, and spent most of their time hanging out before training and after training. Whether that was just meeting up at an arcade to play some games, or getting a bite to eat after they finished for the day. 

Although they often spent time together outside of training, it was the first time either boy had invited the other over to his house. 

“Just give me a second, I’ll be quick!” Yeonjin stated, picking up several pieces of his clothes scattered on the floor and yanking his closet door open before throwing it in. Eunjae only smiled at his friend, slowly leaning against the doorframe as he watched him run around frantically, finding the way he rushed while still maintaining his large smile adorable.

“Wow, Yeonjin didn’t guilt trip you into helping him clean?”  

Eunjae’s head snapped backwards the moment he heard another voice in the hallway,

his eyes falling onto a boy that couldn’t have been much older than him, a grin attached onto his face as he walked towards Yeonjin’s room.

“Is that Daehyeon? If it’s Daehyeon, come inside and lock the door shut. I want to keep the demons out.”

“Yeonjin!” Daehyeon exclaimed, his grin only expanding as he gave Eunjae a small wave before peeking his head into Yeonjin’s room. “You shouldn’t be introducing your amazing big brother as a demon.”

“I would never describe Yeonu as a demon!”

“Ouch.” Eunjae eyed Yeonjin’s brother as he let out a sigh with a pained expression painting over his face as he clutched his heart as if it truly hurt. “That hurts, kid.” “We have a two year difference-”

“Yes, you’re two years younger so I can call you a kid when-” Dae’s sentence cut off when Yeonjin threw a pillow at the older’s head, trying to get him to stop as Eunjae fell into a fit of silent giggles as he noticed how Yeonjin stood there with an accomplished smile as Daehyeon grunted with a smile small dancing across his lips. 

“Eunjae, right? Yeonjin talked a lot about you,” Dae mentioned, his eyes shifting from Yeonjin sticking his tongue out at him to finally introduce himself to the one who was awkwardly standing next to him right at the doorway, before leaning in close to Eunjae and motioning for the younger to do the same. “To be honest, he couldn’t really shut up about you.”

“Would it be boring of me to say hopefully all good things?”

“Hah!” Dae chuckled, reaching out to give Eunjae a gentle pat on his shoulder before nodding to the latter’s question, “The best of things. I was scared he was going to pack my stuff off when I was out and invite you to stay instead of me.”

“Don’t tempt me Dae!” Yeonjin sang out gently, the smile evident in the tone that radiated with his words, placing down his textbooks on his desk as opposed to their original position of being scattered around the floor. 

“Yes, yes, I know, you’d love to replace little old me with your boyfriend.”

Eunjae choked on the breath he was inhaling, his eyes going wide all of a sudden as the smile flew from his face causing Dae to lose his grin for the first time in the night and reach over to pat the younger’s back. 

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah?” Dae’s face had contorted into one of both concern and confusion, his eyebrows raising as he attempted to help Eunjae any way he could, his eyes jumping back and forth from him and his little brother. “Eunjae?”

“Eunjae isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Wait, what?”

“I never said he was my boyfriend.” Yeonjin was looking at Daehyeon with the most blank expression, his head slightly tilted as if he was trying to figure out why Dae would even ask that.

“Yeah...we’re not dating.” Eunjae said as he looked up at Dae with a blush tickling his cheeks, meeting the latter’s eyes once only to awkwardly shift away from them. 

“But...you” the eldest pointed at Yeonjin his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “You always end your phone calls with an ‘I love you’ to him.”

“Yeah, of course, I do love Eunjae, he’s my best friend!” Yeonjin said with a slightly quirked eyebrow as he crossed his arms, looking at his brother as if he was wondering if he could spit out anything else that would be ridiculous. 

“You guys came into the house holding hands.”

“Friends can’t hold hands?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s what you inspected.”

“Inspected?”

“Yes. Like when the words you say have a meaning to them that doesn’t need to be said.”

“Implied?” Eunjae questioned, wondering if that was the word his friend was looking for.

“Same thing!”

“Uh…” Dae rubbed the back of his neck, a frown present on his as he looked at both boys before letting out a breathy chuckle. “Sorry then. I guess I just assumed. Anyways, I’m going out! I baked some cupcakes for you two-”

“Sweet!”

“Exactly.” Dae’s smile reappeared as he slipped on the leather jacket that had been in his hands, “Make sure you eat dinner first. Dad’s been cooking a few new meals he’s wanted to add to the restaurant that I’m sure he’s going to make you guys the testers.”

“That’s fine, any food is good food.”

Dae let out a bright laugh, as he nodded at Eunjae’s words as he stepped out of the bedroom before waving at the two friends and made his way out of the house. 

“Wanna go eat now?”

“Sure,” Eunjae nodded as the two slowly made their way out of Yeonjin’s room. “We’re going to be eating down there or up here...boyfriend?”

“Well, my favorite boy that is my friend,” Yeonjin replied the humorous glint in his eyes mirrored by the grin on Eunjae’s face, the former wrapping an arm around Eunjae’s shoulder, “if my parents start asking too much we can just get up and eat in my room. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

2016

“Aw man, again? Can’t you guys keep the lovefest to yourselves?” 

Yeonjin groaned as he simply turned his head around from Lian walking into the living room, his field of view now solely focused on Eunjae’s pink sweater. 

“It’s not even a lovefest, I’m just tired!” Yeonjin grumbled. 

The trio had just finished practice and decided to crash at Eunjae’s place, since it was the closest to Neostar’s building. Deoksu had left to go to his job, which neither of the boys knew how he could possibly manage after such a grueling training. Sehyun wanted to go home, as he had promised his parents to meet up for lunch, as they had spent a bit less time than usual due to all the training.

Their debut was coming up, and they were informed that it was set for the first quarter of 2017. Which was great in the sense that it finally gave all the boys the peace and comfort of knowing that all their hard work was going to pay off soon.

But it also meant the practice had become tougher as if there were any flaws or imperfections in the boys’ dancing, vocals, presence, or anything that they had been training, it was time to nip it in the bud and cease for it to exist. 

And it was clear how much more difficult training had become just based on the appearance of the boys. Lian and Eunjae both had that look as if they stayed up several nights in a row studying for an exam that they were destined to fail regardless, the tiredness they were enduring becoming apparent in the slight increase of chances of being annoyed out of absolutely nowhere. 

Yeonjin was more open about how tired he was, combatting the lecture Deoksu had given all five of them about how ‘even though they felt tired now, it would all pay off and make all of these negative feelings seem like a distant memory once they’ve debuted’. 

To be quite frank, he didn’t really give a fuck for all of that at the moment. 

His legs were sore, his whole body felt like if he moved another inch it would fall apart, and it he was only moments away from grabbing the closest object near him and pelting it at Lian if he decided now was the time to tease Yeonjin. 

Laid out on the couch, he had quickly dragged Eunjae over and made the older sit before he placed his head comfortably on his lap, whining about how he didn’t know if he would make it out of the next few moments of this type of training alive. 

“I’ll be patiently waiting for the day you guys finally confess your secret relationship!”

“Keep waiting, I’ll announce it on your deathbed.”

“That’ll be long from now, you sure you can keep it a secret for that long?” Lian teased, plopping down onto the seat adjacent to the couch, a grin on his lips as he took a sip of his protein shake,

“It won’t be too long if you keep bothering me.”

Eunjae snorted in laughter as he eyed the frustrated glare on Yeonjin’s face, his lips jutted out in a small pout with his eyebrows furrowed together making him look like a child who wasn’t allowed to eat dessert before dinner. 

“Is that a threat? Eunjae calm your boyfriend down!”

“You’re evil, Lian.”

“You really are.” Yeonjin muttered as his fingers had softly held onto Eunjae’s sweater, his body just barely curling up a bit more around the latter. “Just because we’ve kissed doesn’t make us boyfriends.” 

Lian put down his drink just as quick as his head snapped over towards the two boys, his eyes widened in absolute shock, the grin that had been dancing on his face morphing into a smirk that Eunjae could only roll his eyes at. 

“You guys-”

“Be quieter, dear god.” yawned Yeonjin, the tiredness seemingly catching up to him as his eyes slowly closed, his words becoming a soft whisper. 

“You guys kissed?” Lian whispered this time, his body inching closer towards Eunjae. 

“Yes.”

“So I was right-”

“No.”

“No?”

“We didn’t kiss on a date or something, or like they do in movies when they realize their feelings, so keep the excitement down.” Eunjae stated, his eyes focused on the youngest who had slowly drifted into a state of sleep, his hand reaching out to run a hand through Yeonjin’s hair ever so gently, almost caressing his head. 

“Then?”

“Neither of us had our first kiss. We decided to try it.”

When there was no snarky or humorous response for Lian, Eunjae looked up from Yeonjin only to be greeted by a shit-eating smile, Lian nodded to himself in an exaggerated manner as he threw out a wink the moment the two made eye contact. 

“What?”

“You guys kissed.”

“Yeah, but not romantically, I just said that.”

“No, but because you guys are so comfortable with one another that kissing isn’t something out of the norm, huh?”

Silence rang throughout the house as Lian took another sip of his shake as Eunjae only stared at him, with eyes seemingly in a storm of different thoughts crashing against one another. 

“I’m kicking you out.”

2020

“If we’re in the Big Apple, why isn’t there a Big Apple?” Yeonjin’s question was met with laughter emitting from his side, Eunjae covering his smile with his hand acting as if he had to cough. 

“Buddy, I thought we explained this to you.” Eunjae only giggled more when he saw Yeonjin sneak a glare at him through the corner of his eyes, a frown fragmented onto his face as he opened the door to the diner and held it open for the older. 

Empyrean Moon had decided to take a small vacation following the promotions of their repackaged album ‘SAVE ME’ after being told nothing was planned for them until the summer. The five of them had decided to take a trip to the United States, traveling from the west to the east coast together. 

Eunjae and Yeonjin had broken away from the group when they had an off day (from Deoksu’s schedule, which consisted of things he researched to do in all the states they had planned to visit) and went out to visit Times Square once again and get something to eat afterwards, while the other three had gone to watch a broadway show.

“It still doesn’t make sense. I told my dad I was going to take a photo with it!”

“He went along with it?”

“I don’t think he had the heart to tell me otherwise.” Yeonjin sighed as he shook his head as the pair walked towards the front of the diner. “It’s like telling me the City of Lights isn’t just made up of lights.”

“Uh...Yeonjin?”

“I’m joking!” Yeonjin smiled as he gently shoved Eunjae who’s face when from a puzzled expression to bursting into a smile that mirrored his friend’s. 

“Hello! Seating for two?” 

Both boys had turned their attention to the hostess in front of them, Eunjae slightly sidestepping to stand behind Yeonjin. 

While each of the Empyrean Moon boys had made their attempts in learning phrases and terminology for their trip abroad, Yeonjin’s language skills far outweighed Eunjae’s. 

“Yes, please!” Yeonjin answered as he shifted back and forth on the heels of his feet, the bright smile he had only growing as the tone in his voice mirrored his confidence and pride in understanding and being able to reply in english. 

“Great. Are you two here for the couples’ lunch special?” 

The smile on Yeonjin’s face faltered, his feet stopping mid shift, as he felt Eunjae’s head peek out to look at Yeonjin’s face. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you know what-uh,” Yeonjin whipped his head to look at his friend his eyebrows moving upwards, “couple means?” 

Eunjae attempted to repeat the word Yeonjin was clearly confused over, but stuttered over attempting to enunciate it the same way, clearly showing his lack of knowledge over the word. 

“Couple?” Yeonjin questioned the hostess in front of him, his head slightly tilting to the side as he looked at her. 

“Oh!” she nodded before realizing what was happening. “A couple, uh, dating? Boyfriends? In love?”

Yeonjin’s mouth fell open in an ‘o’ shape as he watched the girl make a heart gesture with her hands, his head automatically nodding along as he finally realized what she meant. 

“What is the special?”

“A larger than usual entree for a cheaper price!” 

“Oh…” Yeonjin quickly grabbed Eunjae’s hands in his own, intertwining them before bringing the older’s hands up and leaning over to place a chaste kiss on his hand before grinning at the hostess. “Yes. We’re a couple!”

“Perfect. Just follow me.”

Yeonjin nodded and moved to follow her only for Eunjae to yank his hand back, Yeonjin finally turning to look back at his friend only to be met with a flushed face, Eunjae’s eyes widened at his friend’s actions. 

“What was that?”

“She said there’s a special for couples.” Yeonjin stated with the utmost joy, giving his friend’s hand a gentle yet excited squeeze. “More food!”

“Oh...cool.”

“Yeah, let’s go!” 

Eunjae only nodded and followed, his mind in a slight shock as to how quick Yeonjin was to go along with the prospect of them being a couple. The blush on his face only intensified as he felt his face heat up when he noticed how Yeonjin was still holding his hand just as tightly, trying to make a conversation with the hostess to show off his English. 

Holding hands with him wasn’t something out of the norm.

Holding hands with him, and having his stomach start to flutter with butterflies was something Eunjae had never experienced before.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 3]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 4,267

A/N: Inspired by the film The Time Traveler’s Wife. But not one of those fics that just literally rips off the whole movie and plugs in characters where they please.

Chapter 2

Brooklyn, NY - 1934

It had been 6 months since Y/N had spent the night in Steve’s bedroom. Steve was starting to lose his mind, wondering why Y/N could never stay. Why did no one know who she was? Was she OK? Was she in trouble? Was she homeless? Was she even human?

Steve was only mildly convinced he hadn’t gone crazy by the fact that her appearance had saved him from getting beaten to a pulp by those bullies. If she’d scared them away, she had to be real…right?

Steve was sitting in a park, sketching her. A part of him was scared that if he didn’t, he’d start forgetting what she looked like. 

Who knew if she’d ever come back? What if that innocent night where they slept in the same room was all they got?

“What’s this?” A voice said from behind him.

Steve panicked when he recognized the voice.

It was Charlie; a boy he went to school with. He made a habit out of teasing the living daylights out of Steve. However, he was never bold enough to do it in front of Bucky.

Steve tried to slam his sketchbook shut before Charlie could see anything.

But Charlie was already ripping it out of Steve’s hands.

“Charlie, don’t!” Steve tried to jerk it back.

But he was stronger than him.

Charlie shoved Steve away from him so hard that he felt to his bum and looked up at him helplessly. Charlie started flipping through the pages. He appeared bored until he reached the sketches of Y/N. There was a little less than a dozen. But all of them were so detailed that they were practically photographs.

Charlie started laughing, mocking Steve. “You peeping in girl’s windows now, Rogers?”

Steve got to his feet and shoved forward. “Give it back, Charlie!”

“You know what? This broad is a real looker. I think I’ll keep it. Look at it when I’m real lonely…if you know what I mean.”

Steve seethed at his gross implication. He tackled Charlie, but it hardly moved the boy.

Charlie shoved him to the ground again and took a step, readying his fist to beat Steve until he learned a lesson.

But suddenly, Charlie was being pulled back by the collar of his jacket.

“The hell you think you’re doing?” Bucky growled as he held on to the boy.

“W-W-We were just m-messing around, Barnes,” Charlie stuttered in fear.

Bucky wasn’t smaller than Charlie.

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky chided as his eyes looked down to see Steve’s sketchbook in Charlie’s grasp. “You think you can just take things from people because they’re smaller than you?” He ripped it from Charlie’s grasp.

Charlie didn’t answer, just gulped.

Bucky brought his face closer. “I asked you a question,” he growled. Charlie shook his head quickly in fear. 

Bucky shoved him so hard, he fell to the ground. “Pick on someone your own size.”

Charlie stumbled back to his feet and sprinted away.

Bucky watched him go and then finally turned to his best friend. He helped Steve off the ground and brushed the dirt from his clothes. Then he carefully handed Steve his sketchbook. He knew how important it was to him.

“Thanks, Buck.” Steve muttered as his eyes stared downward.

“You OK?”

Steve just nodded, but his head still hung.

“He won’t bother you no more,” Bucky pronounced a little too confidently.

Steve finally looked at his friend. “Yeah, he will. He’s scared of you, not me. Soon as I’m alone, he’ll mess with me again.”

Bucky frowned and his shoulders sagged. He knew Steve was right. Yeah, Bucky was Steve’s protector. But he couldn’t be with his friend 24/7.

Steve slowly opened up his sketchbook. The drawing he had just been working on had ripped 3/4 of the way down. It must’ve happened when Charlie first ripped the book out of his hands.

Bucky watched him sadly. “That her?”

Steve ignored the question as his finger traced down the ripped paper. “What’re doin’ here, Buck?” He asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Was just lookin’ for you, punk.”

Steve looked around and sighed. “I think I’m just going to head home.”

But Bucky was already shaking his head. “Absolutely not. We’re getting somethin’ to eat.”

Steve wanted to try and argue further. But he knew there was no point. Bucky wouldn’t let him mope around. So Steve let him drag him in any direction he wished. It didn’t matter.

————

Bucky was talking about the baseball game from earlier in the day, giving Steve a play-by-play with such enthusiasm. Steve got excited at the right points and laughed at the others. Seeing Bucky’s face light up talking about it was enough to bring his friend joy too.

The diner was roaring with other conversations and laughter. It was their usual place, meaning that most of the people there were from the neighborhood and the diner’s usual customers.

Steve’s back was to the toward. But he wanted to turn around when he heard the bell ring. The conversations died down a bit. The laughter stopped. Steve felt the hairs on the back of his neck move on end.

Whoever had just walked in had grabbed the attention of the majority of the diner.

Then Steve looked up at Bucky to see that he had stopped mid-sentence to also gawk. His eyes were attentive and his mouth just slightly wide with awe.

Somehow, Steve just knew. He just knew it was her.

He kept facing forward, fighting every urge of his body to turn around and look at her. Goosebumps went all across his skin as he heard the sound of her heels tapping the tile of the diner. They were getting closer and closer. Steve watched Bucky’s eyes trailing her.

Then she was standing right next to him.

“Mind if I join you boys?” She asked.

Steve finally found the courage to turn and look up at her.

For once, Y/N was wearing her clothes that fit her. A black top and grey skirt, cinched to perfection by a fancy belt. She was even wearing sheer gloves and a hat neatly pinned into her flawless curls.

She seemed to be wearing makeup for the first time. Her eyes popped from their new outline. Her lips were a dark red that was almost too sensual to be worn in the daytime. She was a vision. And it was no wonder the entire diner had stopped to gaze at her.

Steve, so hypnotized by her, missed the question.

“Y/N,” he whispered in revelation.

That seemed to snap Bucky out of his daze. He blinked and looked at Steve, making sure he heard him right. “Y/N?” He gaped.

But Steve ignored his questioning.

The way she was looking at him and the way Steve was looking at her, it was like the rest of the world had disappeared for them.

Bucky cleared his throat, finally grabbing both of their attention. “Steve, I believe the lady asked you a question…”

Steve blinked. “Right. Of course.” He jumped out of the booth.

Bucky did too. “I’m James Buchanan Barnes, miss. I’ve heard quite a lot about you.”

Steve’s stomach tightened at watching his best friend’s charm get released. He couldn’t be mad at him. Bucky would find a way to charm a woman on his deathbed. It couldn’t be stopped. But this was the moment Steve had dreaded.

Y/N’s eyes narrowed playfully and she was clearly trying to hide a smirk. But she shook Bucky’s hand politely. “The infamous Bucky Barnes. It’s so nice to finally put a face to the name,” Y/N said just as charmingly.

But then she turned her attention to Steve, who was patiently waiting for her to take a seat. Her face softened and whatever charm had been in her expression had been replaced by pure sincerity.

“Hello, Steve,” she hummed softly. But the simple greeting said so much more.

“Hi, Y/N,” Steve managed to reply.

Then they booth slid into the booth.

Y/N seemed to finally sense all the eyes on her. The conversations had continued throughout the diner. But most of the men kept stealing glances at her every chance they got.

Y/N cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Uh…Is it just me or is everyone staring at us?”

Steve looked around finally and gave the deadliest glare to every man that ogled her. “They’re not staring at us, doll. They’re staring at you,” Bucky told her with a grin.

Y/N put some hair behind her ear self-consciously.

Steve caught it immediately and scooted just a bit closer to her in the booth. The gesture seemed to relax her a bit.

“So…Y/N, where have you been hiding?” Bucky asked.

Steve gave him a warning glower.

But Y/N seemed unfazed. “I’ve been out of town.”

Steve cleared his throat and started changing the subject.

But then Y/N took over the conversation, started asking Bucky and Steve questions. It was like she was a part of their longtime friendship. She fit in flawlessly. Whatever weirdness lingered from Y/N’s mysterious comings and goings was completely absent.

Steve didn’t know how she did it. He couldn’t fathom how she felt like an old friend when they’d only spent mere hours together collectively.

Some time had passed when Steve caught a glance at the clock.

“Jeez, I lost track of time. I promised ma I’d be home for dinner soon,” Steve muttered quickly.

Then he looked at Y/N. He wasn’t ready to let her go yet. Then he remembered how she insisted he introduce her to his mother next time they saw each other.

“Would… Would you like to come to dinner?” Steve asked her nervously.

A shy smile formed on her painted lips. “I’d love to.”

“Well, then let’s go!” Bucky clapped his hands together.

Steve narrowed his eyes and pointed at his friend. “You’re not comin’.”

Bucky looked offended.

“I’m sick of you eating all my food,” Steve warned.

This was a new feeling for Bucky. He didn’t know what it was like for a woman to be numb and unresponsive to his charm and advances. But it warmed his heart to see Steve look so enamored and captivated.

They started walking out of the diner. Steve moved unnecessarily closer to Y/N as he caught men leering at her.

Once they were outside, Bucky pat Steve’s back as his farewell. 

Then he turned to Y/N. “It was very nice to finally meet the doll that Steve won’t shut up about.”

Steve blushed.

To both men’s surprise, Y/N enveloped Bucky into a tight and loving hug. It caught Bucky off-guard, causing a delayed reciprocation.

Steve felt like he was missing something.

Y/N held Bucky tight and when she pulled away, she still gripped his shoulders firmly. “I’m glad we finally got to meet, Bucky.” But her voice was a little sad as she said it.

Bucky seemed to sense it too and just gave a shy nod, “I’m glad we did too, doll.”

They said their farewells and Steve started leading Y/N to his apartment.

He can’t help but try and steal as many side glances of her as possible.

“You look…different this time,” he told her quietly.

“You mean I don’t look like I’ve stolen someone’s clothes this time,” she laughed lightly.

Steve chuckled and shook his head, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I thought I’d make a bit more of an effort,” Y/N shrugged.

“How long you in town for?” Steve asked the dreaded question.

She sighed and gave him an apologetic smile. “I don’t know. I never really know.”

Steve tried to act like he understood. “Need a place to stay again?”

Her face softened at the obvious offer. “Maybe,” she admitted.

“Sure you want to stay for dinner? I don’t know why you were so adamant about meeting my ma.”

“Well, she raised you. I’d like to meet the woman that made the infamous Steve Rogers the man he is today.”

He scoffed at that. “I don’t know about ‘infamous.’ Don’t know about ‘man’ either.” He looked down at his small body.

“Size doesn’t make a boy become a man, Steve.”  

“Then what does?” He challenged.

She stopped walking so she could face him. Her face had never looked more serious since he’d met her. “Many things. You’ve already figured it out…you just don’t know it yet. But I promise none of them have to do with physicality.”

Steve’s face scrunched in confusion. “Guess I’ll have to take your word for it.”

Then they were at his apartment building. 

When Steve glanced at Y/N, he saw that she looked nervous. 

Was it because she was about to meet his mother? No, that couldn’t be it.

Steve unlocked the door and was immediately met with the sounds of his mother cooking in the kitchen.

“Ma, I’m home. I brought someone back for dinner.”

“You tell that Bucky Barnes he better take his shoes of before he walks into this apartment,” a voice called with a muted Irish accent.

Despite the command not being aimed at her, Y/N took off her high heels.

Steve gave her an apologetic look, but led her toward the kitchen.

“It’s not Bucky, ma.”

His mom whipped away from the stove to look. She seemed utterly shocked to find a young woman standing next to him.

“Oh, h-hello…” Sarah Rogers stuttered. “Ma, this is Y/N,” Steve told her with a beaming smile.

Y/N rushed forward to properly introduce herself. Sarah went for the handshake and was surprised that Y/N immediately went for the hug. Sarah gave her son a questioning look over Y/N’s shoulder. But Steve just shrugged.

When Y/N pulled away, Sarah immediately became worried when she saw tears in Y/N’s eyes.

“Oh, dear. What’s the matter?” She immediately went into mom mode.

Y/N sniffed and rubbed the tears away embarrassingly. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I’m just being silly.”

Sarah patted her cheek softly and wiped any remaining tears. “Why don’t you take a seat, love? Dinner’s almost ready.”

Y/N nodded and Steve rushed forward to pull out a chair for her. He gave her a look, asking her silently if she was OK. Y/N nodded and looked embarrassed.

But Steve still reached for her hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“So,” Sarah began as the food was finally on all their plates, “how did you meet this beautiful young lady, Steve?”

Y/N's cheeks turned pink at the subtle compliment.

“We just kind of…” Steve started.

“Met,” Y/N finished.

Sarah eyed the two of them, knowing there was more to it than that.

But once again, Y/N became her charming self. She overwhelmed Sarah with questions. She asked her about working as a nurse in the tuberculosis ward, what Steve was like as a kid, how Ireland was different than New York City.

Sarah barely got a chance to ask Y/N a single thing.  

However, Steve noticed that Y/N never asked about his father. It was almost strategic. 

“Ma, why don’t you two have some tea in the living room and I’ll clean up?” Steve suggested when they had been long done with dinner.

“Oh, I can help!” Y/N jumped to her feet.

“No, no, no. You’re our guest,” Steve shooed her away.

Sarah smiled at her son and pulled Y/N to their living room.

Steve could still manage to hear the murmur of their talking as he did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. But he couldn’t really make out what they were saying.

Y/N was glad to have this moment alone with Sarah.

She looked in the direction of where Steve was in the kitchen.

“You raised an amazing young man, Sarah.”

She smiled softly. “I’m not quite sure it was all my doing. Every so often, I look at him and wonder how I got so lucky to have such an angel of a son.” She sighed, “Sometimes I worry that other people won’t see him.” Then Sarah eyed Y/N knowingly. “Well…I worried about that until tonight.”

“Believe it or not. He saw me first,” a darkness clouded Y/N’s eyes as she said it.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Sarah asked.

Y/N looked pained from the question. “It’s…complicated. Everything about us is complicated. And it’ll get worse before it get’s better.”

Sarah nodded, as if she understood Y/N’s puzzle of words. She reached over and gripped Y/N’s hand tightly. “But you’ll look after him, won’t you, love? He has Bucky. But I have a feeling he won’t always have that boy to protect him.”

Y/N nodded fervently. “Steve means…” she struggled with how much she should say, so she stopped herself and nodded again. “I’ll always look after him, Sarah. I promise.”

“Hey, ma?” Steve leaned against the doorway, giving his mother a look that reminded Y/N of a puppy.

“Yes, Stevie?”

“Can…Can Y/N stay the night? I’ll sleep out here on the couch. She can take my bed. She’s got no place to stay.”

Sarah smiled, “Of course.” She stood up. “I think I’ll go off to bed myself.” Then she gave Steve a playful look of warning. “No funny business, Steven Grant Rogers.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He replied seriously.

Y/N and Steve sat on the couch. 

He had lent her some of his pajamas. And he tried to ignore the feelings it brought, seeing her in his clothes. Her makeup was off now and her hair was down. Steve wondered if this is how husbands looked at their wives while they were in the sanctity of their own homes.

They had been talking for hours now. Steve didn’t have school or work the next day, and he would stay up all night talking with Y/N if he could.

Then Y/N’s eyes stared into the distance. Steve could always tell when she was getting lost in her head.

“Y/N? What is it?” He asked her gently.

“I have to tell you something. But…But I know that you’re not going to believe me – that you’ll think I’m crazy.”

“You don’t know that,” Steve tried to argue.

“There are some things I can’t tell you, Steve. But I would never ever lie to you. It’s important to me that you know that.”

Steve nodded. “Please, just tell me. I could never think you’re crazy.”

Y/N took in a deep breath. “The reason I can never stay, that I come and go, that nobody knows who I am…” her eyes tore into Steve’s for a moment, “is because I’m not from here.”

“Y/N…I already knew that.”

“No, not Brooklyn or even New York City. I’m not from this time.”

Steve observed her, tried to figure out if she was yanking his chain. What a strange joke to pull. But Y/N’s face was absolutely serious.

“I’m from the future. I have this…thing…this-this problem. I time travel. But I can’t control it. It just happens. I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know where I am, until I find a newspaper or a person or…anything.”

Steve was quiet.

“Do…Do you believe me, Steve?” Y/N whispered.

“Yes,” he answered immediately.

“You do?” She asked in shock.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Then she was hugging him. “I’m sorry for not telling you the night you met me. I thought it would scare you. It scares a lot of people. Or they just think I’m crazy,” she muttered into his shoulder.

“It’s OK. You don’t have to apologize,” Steve assured her.

Then they pulled away. “But…Where are are you from? Or I guess I should say when…”

She smirked. “I was born in 1992.”

His eyes widened at the date. But then…he felt his heart slowly break.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t spend his time dreaming about the day when he could actually be with Y/N. They might not know each other as much as he wanted. But he just had this feeling like one day they would know everything about one another.

Now that dream shattered before it even got a chance.

“1992,” he mumbled.

Y/N seemed to read his disappointment. “Come on…aren’t you going to ask me what the future’s like? Don’t you want to know if there are flying cars?”

He tried to force a smile, but failed miserably. Then he stared off, looking at nothing in particular.

“This isn’t the last time you’ll see me, Steve.” Y/N tried to tell him.

They were now walking a fine line. 

Y/N promised she’d never lie to him. She refused to break that promise. But she also couldn’t tell him they’d meet again in her own time. It could drive him insane knowing something crazy was going to happen to him in order for that to become their reality.

“It’s just…I thought,” Steve began. But then he shook his head, changing his mind. “Never mind. I was being stupid.”

Y/N wanted him to say it. But she’d let him hide his thoughts this time.

Steve stood then. “I should…uh…let you get to sleep.”

“Oh, OK.” She tried not to sound disappointed.

She walked to his bedroom and turned around in the doorway. “Goodnight, Steve.”

He stopped making up his bed on the couch to look at her. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

Steve struggled to fall asleep, knowing Y/N was just in the other room. He knew the next night, his bed would smell of her. His heart beat faster at the thought. Eventually, exhaustion finally forced him to go to sleep.

The next morning, he was awoken by a slight shake and a whisper of Y/N repeatedly calling his name.

Steve winced and blinked his eyes open. “You’re still here,” he mumbled.

She smiled at the sound of his voice in the morning. “I won’t be for long. I can feel it coming. I just wanted to thank you. But also – figured you should watch me go this time…just incase you weren’t sure you believed me.”

Steve sat up a little, “What do you mean?”

But his question was answered as he saw Y/N slowly disappearing. It was like her skin was turning into clouds until she went transparent. But she wasn’t just transparent: she was gone. His clothes dropped to the floor now that there was nothing for them to hold on to.

Steve’s eyes widened and he shot up even further, blinking as if trying to figure out if he had just been dreaming. He looked around the room wildly, expecting to find Y/N giggle in the corner as if it had all been a prank.

But his piles of clothes remained on the floor and Y/N was gone.

—————

Avengers Compound - 2015

“So you guys never…you know?” Sam asked as he held the punching bag for Steve.

The super-soldier glared at his friend for the intrusive question.

“For the last time, Sam, we were just friends.”

“That girl travels around time, tethered to events in your life and you’re still trying to tell me you’re just friends?”

Steve took a step back from the punching bag and evened his breathing.

“Back then, she never told me I’d be a part of the future. She had to be careful what she told me about my life. And me getting frozen and waking up in another century was definitely one of the things she kept to herself.” He took a breath and shook his head. “I never – I didn’t think we’d ever have a chance, OK?”

“So that’s why Peggy was your first love and not her?” Sam asked carefully.

Steve shook his head. “It’s not that simple, Sam.”

“But do you love her?” Sam had a habit of trying to subtly be Steve’s therapist. He didn’t always mean to do it. But Sam knew Steve’s inability to talk things out was no a healthy habit. He always wanted Steve to know that he could talk to him.

“When we first met, I was just a kid. I had a crush on her. Then I kept getting older and older, and she kept visiting…and it turned into something else.” His brow furrowed at the memories. “But then I met Peg and I became a walking experiment and I got sent off to war. I just felt lucky to have Y/N. The fact that we could never be together – I wouldn’t let myself think about how I really felt toward her.”

“But now you know you can,” Sam offered gently.

“Hey, Rogers!” Natasha called from the entrance to the training facility. “I found something that belongs to you.”

Both men turned around to see Nat standing next to Y/N, who was wrapped in a blanket. Her hair was a mess and the blanket was a little short, exposing her legs and bare feet.

Steve’s heart almost leapt out of his chest at the sight of her.

He was oblivious to agents stopping their training and workouts to observe the weird guest before them.

Steve quickly made his way to her.

He eyed Natasha. “What? You couldn’t get her some clothes?”

She glared at him. “I tried. But she wanted to come see you first.” Then she disappeared, leaving the two alone.

“Hey,” Y/N greeted him shyly.

“Hi,” Steve replied.

-------------------------------------

Chapter 4

Yayyyy! THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Let me know your thoughts. It makes me happy and fuels my writing. ❤️

Once again, I do not to taglists. Here is the series’ masterlist: Non-Sequential

[ava-jones]

Practice Challenge. Part 1

“Fuck him! Fuck his shitty new album! Fuck his ‘playboy’ reputation! I’m not going to lie about my life to fix a shitty situation he put himself in!” Ava screamed in the hallway a few feet down from her agents office. 

“Babe it’s not like I’m asking you to get married. Just go on a few photo-opt dates, then after Ethan’s album has been out for a few months you can quietly call it off.” Carolyn, the publicist being berated, argued. 

“That’s exactly the problem! It’s not like he’s some dude I’m actually interested in long term. I. don’t. Like. lying.” Ava huffed and leaned against the wall crossing her arms and glaring at Carolyn. 

“Don’t think of it as lying just as acting.” She tried to purswade. 

Ava just glared and chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to find some way to get out of this. 

“Common Ava, remember what I said to you when you were a kid, ‘sometimes you have to bend a little.’” She pressured. 

“Bend a little! I moved to Angeles! I changed my name! I rewrote Heart Full of Scars! I did your playboy magazine! I’ve done every single thing that you’ve told me too!” She screamed now getting some looks from other agents. One of them would likely let this outburst slip out soon, another ‘snobby two throwing a tantrum’ she could already see the headlines “Has Ava Jones gotten too used to the rich life? Illeans sweetheart has rotted.’ Probably something shorter but that was why Ava was not a journalist.

“You absolutely have not! You turned down the chance to speak with Scooter Burnt on his show! You barely got to the playboy thing and I had to convince you for days before you’d go! You’ve refused modeling opportunities and went against me and released ‘Do You’!” 

“And it fucking slaps! It got us 65.2 million views within 24 hours! Sometimes you’re wrong!” She yelled and turned to leave. 

“Where are you going?” Carolyn asked, running after her. 

“Home.” She huffed and put her hands in her pockets turning to take the stairs out. 

“Angeles or Sumner?” 

“Sumner!” She yelled back as Carolyn started falling behind. 

“For how long?” 

“Till you get me out of this mess!” She yelled back, turning the corner to the front door of her agents studio. Suddenly he bombarded her. 

“Please wait! Ava!” Ethan yelled chasing after her before grabbing her arm. 

She spun on him, “What! You tricked me into thinking we were friends then told the press I slept with you, why do you think I should give you another second of my time?” 

“Don’t you want to?” He asked with a raised eyebrow more than a little to calm for Ava’s anger.

“To what?” She asked, genuinely confused.

“Sleep with me?” 

Suddenly, Ethan wasn’t smiling anymore, in fact he was on the ground, a red slap mark across his face, security moving to stop Ava but hesitating, they wouldn't want to hurt Illea’s darling. 

“You whore!” Ethan yelled and lunged at her, the guards were much less hesitant with him. After all he was a has-been lunging at a will-always-be. Suddenly the door to the building swung open, the guards stopped, Ethan stood quickly and wrapped a hand around Ava’s waist. As much as she wanted to shove him off and make the sides of his face symmetrical she didn’t want to deal with even more bad press.  

He leaned down to her ear, “behave or I will fucking destroy you.” he whispered. 

“Yeah right, like you can.” She grumbled back through gritted teeth as a paparazzi tried to act hidden, wandering around like he was looking for a room as he held a camera close to his body, attempting to keep it under his bag. 

“Calm down, sweetheart. You’re the one escalating this.” He whispered as they shuffled together to the door trying to make their way out to their private parking deck. Ava quickly scanned her ID for the building and they slipped out of sight. 

As soon as the door closed behind them she shoved him off and down to the ground, “Never touch me again. I’m not the one escalating this, you’re the one who told the press I was ‘cute’ in bed, what the hell does that even mean? I am reacting. I am allowed to react to you being the shittiest person alive,” She rushed to her car and pulled away. 

She was never supposed to drive herself, just like she wasn’t supposed to hit other celebrities, or yell in hallways, or put up a fight. But lately she was feeling so tired. 

She pulled into an empty church parking lot and sat there for a moment, the air conditioning on as cold as possible, and she almost let it out. She almost let her lips quiver, she almost felt her tears pouring over, she almost called her Carolyn and pleaded for ‘out’. Out of singing, out of performances, out of autographs, out of stalkers, out of lies, out of men thinking that because she is a she in a position of power they can take it from her. Out of letting them. 

But, she didn't. She held onto her steering wheel, she popped open her glove compartment and took out a small cigarette box. Of course she would never risk hurting her voice. Instead inside was a picture of herself as a young girl with a boy. The two of them were about thirteen, they were having a picnic on a farm, drinking sparkling apple juice out of two champagne flutes, feeling so adult. Inside there was a small swatch of fabric. She held it closed and breathed it in, and the warmth took over and she was okay. 

She picked up her phone and called one of her top numbers, “Hey Ms. Rosado! I’m coming home for a while tonight. Do you mind if I swing by the house?” 

“Of course not! You know you’re welcome any time, baby.” The now elderly woman eased. 

****************************************************************

Sumner was always Ava’s heaven. It’s where she wasn’t Ava Jones at all. She was Avery Jacoby. Her family was from very rural Sumner. There were about 800 people in her town, mostly fours and lower. Her family had been fours for years until she bought their way into the two castes. The Rosado’s were a family of sevens who worked on their poultry farm. Angeles was loud, full of screaming cars, and people. All she had to hear at home was the chickens and cows. She pulled up on the dirt road which led not to her house, but to the Rosados. It had been un-lived in for the last six years. 

Untouched, Ms. Rosado couldn’t be in it anymore so she had moved in with Ava’s family. She couldn’t stand the silence, where her little boy had once run around with Ava, playing monsters vs heroes. Hearing Michael play guitar along with Ava’s singing. It made her think of his body, falling to the ground, the final seizure taking him at fifteen, it lasted for eight minutes before he passed on. 

Ava laid down in his childhood bed. Her best friend, her soul mate's bed. His smell surrounded her as she looked up at the stars painted on his ceiling, “Mike.” She called out softly covering her eyes with her arm. She knew he couldn't see her. She didn’t believe in all that “they’re watching from above shit. Why would he waste his time in heaven on that. 

“I don’t want this anymore.” She breathed out. 

“But I’m not giving up on us. We said it, we were gonna make it one day, you’re the asshole who made me promise I wouldn’t give up no matter what. Well now what? I’ve made it I think, but there always seems to be more to do. When is it enough? I need you to tell me. Why were you so shitty with your deathbed wishes. What does it even mean? Make it to your debut album? Check. Make it to your first sold out concert? Check! Have billions of fans worldwide? Done and done. But now what do you want me to become a triple threat take on acting and modeling? Do you want me to keep performing? I did all this for you after all! Pretty rude of you to leave me hanging here!” 

“Well do you still like singing?” She shot up at the response. Not from some magical ghost but from her younger sister, Katy.

“What are you doing here?” She asked defensively about her sister's eavesdropping. 

“Aitana said you were stopping by. I figured you needed saving before you turned into-” she paused and gestured to her sister, a crying mess in a child’s bed, “-that.” 

She paused for a moment and sat down next to her, “you know, we’d never want for money again. You’ve made enough for us and ms. Rosado to live like kings for the rest of our lives. Probably your kids too and grandkids. You don’t have to keep doing this, that is, if you don’t like it.” 

Ava sighed looking back up to the painted night sky, “I love singing, I’ll always love singing.” She mumbled. 

“But?”

“But, I hate the performing, I hate being watched, I hate being told who to date, who to talk to, what to wear, what I’m permitted to eat, how much to work out, scripted for in interviews.” 

Katy made a dramatic gasp, “Scripted? You? I thought you just really loved Nike shoes all the sudden.” she joked. 

Ava couldn’t help but laugh and lightly hit her arm. “You bitch, I worked hard to deliver those lines.” She grinned ear to ear. Being apart from Katy was one of the worst things about being in Angeles. 

“Seriously though, you look like shit. You don’t seem happy anymore. You know he wouldn’t want this. He didn’t care about fame he just thought it was what you wanted and wanted you to be happy. Clearly, you’re not, so quit.” She sighed before standing up. “It’s simple, just stop working.” She stood up. 

“You didn’t know him like I did.” Ava mumbled looking down at her hands, knowing her sister was right, but also remembering his eyes and how they lit up dreaming about their future together. 

“Whatever, I’m not going to argue with you about that. Mama’s making stew for dinner, we have to get back before she gives it to the pigs.”

*******************************************************************************************

A few weeks passed on missed calls, then a few months of avoided visits. The press panicked for a moment that Ava hadn’t been literally seen in awhile, but Carolyn released a statement that she was taking a vacation, fortunately for them the present is planned in the past so Carolyn had plenty of unreleased photos to put out, and even a few unreleased songs which she had previously called, “garbage” but was turning to in desperation.

Ava felt clean. She felt safe in the hills of Sumner, the sun healed her, her family was close, and the world was quiet. Until the letter came, then Katy was screaming. 

“Our selection letters came!” 

“Our what came?” I asked munching on my bowl of corn flakes. 

“Selection, duh- oh right you’re doing that “off the grid or social media cleanse.’” She said doing air quotes.

“How very Angeles of you.” My mom chimed in. 

“I’m not trying to be hip, I'm just taking a break!” I defended myself. 

“Well- to fill you in, Prince Arin is holding a selection! I thought he never would since he and that chick seemed so close to getting married. They were even engaged three months ago.” She gushed. The cereal fell off my spoon, 

“Months?” 

Katy looked confused for a moment, “Yeah months, not every mourns for years.” 

“Yeah no. No way in hell is he over that. He’s looking for a royal rebound.” I chuckled and went back to my food. 

“So you’re not going to apply?” 

“No I’m not going to apply, and you shouldn’t either. You’ll get your heart broken joining that.” 

“Well maybe I’m not going in it for my heart.” She replied. 

“What? Have I not been giving you enough money?” 

“More like there aren’t enough men in this town. I’m itching to have some fun.” She complained. 

“And I’m out!” Our mom said rushing off as Katy began to complain about how dry her sex life had been lately. 

“Well, I’m taking the drive to the post office this afternoon. Decide if you want to join by then.” 

“I’ve decided, no thanks.” 

A few hours later Ava sat in bed reading one of her old favorite books, she was enjoying some peace until her phone was buzzing over and over again in her drawer. She would shut it off but it was a burner phone that Carolyn had given her. It was an ‘when you want to get off the grid but I still need to reach you for an emergency phone.’ She groaned and pulled it out, 

“You better be dying.” 

“No but I’m going to put you in your grave if you don’t come back here and participate in the selection.” 

“Nope sorry I told you, I’m home until I say so. If that’s all I’ll see you someda-”

“I’ll let you out of your contract with Rainbow Companion Records!” Ava bit her bottom lip. RCR had signed her when she was just fifteen. She didn’t know better so she agreed to a 10 year lease with them. Getting out would really help her quit.

“Why would you do that?” She asked, there would be no advantage for Carolyn. Everyone was playing a game with each other at this level and she needed to know her angle. 

“You’re not going to quit. I’ve known you for years, you’ll take a break but ultimately come back. People like yo- like us are simple, we need the attention. After a while you’ll ask them to take you back. I know you’re too stubborn to accept that that’s what will happen, so you’ll agree to this because you want to ‘quit’ right now. It’s happened to so many of my clients.” She explained being shockingly transparent. 

“You really don’t know me at all.” She mumbled and thought for a moment. She was afraid, afraid that what Carolyn said was true. That she’d miss all that noise. But if it wasn’t she’d finally be free.” 

“What if I don’t get in?” Ava asked, needing to know the details. 

“Sweetheart, if you want it you’re as good as already in. I know people.”

“Okay I’ll do it.” 

“Great! I’ll send someone over in three days to fill out your appli-” She shut the phone. ‘No way in hell someone is doing that for me.’ 

“Katy! Do you have my letter?” She yelled in the hallway. 

*******************************************************

Just like that, Angeles flew in and popped my bubble. "We've hired some good photographers and journalists to wait at the airport. Just smile and say you're excited. I've also got some new sponsors for you, RCR really fucked me over on those negotiations so we need a bit more big billion bucks." Carolyn said as Aileen, my makeup artist, worked on lining my lips. 

Carolyn pulled a paper out of her purse and handed it over to her, mostly it was a list of brands with a few lines they wanted her to say, nothing unusual. She normally put up a fight over promotional work but if it was her ticket to a life without lying and screaming, she’d take it. 

“Now I set up the studio for that song that you sent me. It’s going to be a hit! We’ll release it a few hours before the selected announcements come out so the popularity boost from being announced on national television will bring everyone, even people who aren’t your fans, to your new video.” She explained. 

As soon as Ava’s jet landed in Angeles it was back to her old life. Back to the quick interview, “I was taking a break to be with family but I’m back now better than ever.” with a few ads thrown in there for the money. 

The night of the announcement she laid in the bath. She normally hated how alone she was in her Angeles apartment, but being able to bathe in peace was a nice perk. She pulled up the count down for her own video and waited. She didn’t like to watch them until they were released. In the past she had tried to help with the editing process but she was apparently too much of a backseat driver. She just had to trust that Jack knew her vision and would stick to it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyFiWkmkexI

She had decided to write this mostly due to her pure rage at Ethan, her director went a little off though making it into a whole scheming theme but overall she was satisfied. Next she switched to the channel with the selected announcement and waited. One named caught her eye ‘Emily Rose White’. She groaned and pulled up her phone, 

“You told her I was joining?”

“No that must have been actual luck, or she just wants to compete.” Carolyn responded. 

**************************************************

[an-avid-reader]

Prodigy (Legend #2) - Marie Lu

my rating: 4/5 stars

Synopsis of book 1 -

In a world where the Patriots, Colonies, and the Republic are at odds and there’s a plague in the poorer parts of the US, Day is an unstoppable street criminal with good intentions. When his family’s house gets marked by Republic soldiers, Day’s only thought is to steal a cure before his family member dies. June is a top student at Drake University—a prodigy. When her brother, Metias, gets caught in a cross-fire during a mission, June is fast-tracked to becoming a soldier. Her first mission: track down Day. As Day and June come from such opposite backgrounds, is it possible that their paths would’ve crossed otherwise? 

Link to Goodreads // Link to review book 1 // Spoilers (book 1+book2) in review below!

I haven’t read a trilogy in what feels like a really long time lmao; I think it’s because I’ve noticed that sometimes, the second book acts like a bridge book aka nothing really happens except for the last 50ish pages, which tbh just sets up book 3 (It’s like that one useless episode in a tv show that literally has nothing to do with the plotline). I’m VERY happy this wasn’t the case for Prodigy - if anything, there was even more action and more character (and world building) than Legend, which I much appreciated. That means that I also have a lot to unpack; buckle up!

I feel like the most natural place to start is from the stuff I didn’t really enjoy from the first book, specifically the world building and all the questions. It was finally explained that the Republic is essentially nonsense propaganda and the civilians are being fed false information--they aren’t winning the war, in fact they are losing! We also learned that the Colonies and the Patriots are two separate uh ‘groups’? And the Colonies fund the Patriots, but the Colonies are straight up left in the dark (and the Patriots were also hired by the Republic, but more on that later). I wanted to also briefly mention that when June and Day crossed into the Colonies territory, it was like a completely different world--maybe not better, just different. We also kind of get a glimpse into the history of the world--how climate change just absolutely obliterated the whole world. Which, tbh, I feel like if an ice cap near Antarctica (or Antarctica itself) were to melt, it would be more than just the edges of the US that would be underwater--it would go up to the Statue of Liberty’s torch :)))))))). Nevertheless, I really appreciated these explanations as it added more depth and also provided context for the setting, which I found was lacking in the first book (which, I get, you don’t want to overwhelm readers, esp in YA, with all the world building right away).

The other thing is that I wanted to know more about the plague, and Lu came through!!! So the plague is being used to try to create people as bioweapons, which makes me wonder if they were trying to clone those who were infected (or maybe just wanted to collect everyone who has a similar profile to Eden). I still have a few questions of the virus--like why did Eden and that other boy on the train go blind? Does the virus affect them on a genomic level?! I also find it hilarious that in LA they were quarantined for rioting--I feel like that pretty much just showed how weak the Republic is and how their power is no longer ominous (idk if that makes sense??).

Next, I want to touch on the characters and the character building (specifically June and Day, but others too!). I wanted to start off by prefacing that I’m not a fan of the love triangle vibes that we got throughout the books (and to be honest, the ending sort of pushed that narrative a bit further, which is not cool :///). So I’m not sure if it was Razor’s plan to cut communication between Day and June (on purpose) to prevent them from messing up the Patriot’s plans/to prevent Anden from becoming suspicious of June, but I found it so FRUSTRATING that they couldn’t communicate at least once before the assination (and I mean talk, not the signal bc that stirred up a lot of confusion with Day). Their separation really tested their relationship, but I also feel like there was a permanent wedge placed due to the lack of trust, and again, the ending just hammered that home. I will say, I really appreciate June and Day being completely transparent with each other when they escaped from the Patriots and got in the cave. It was like a necessary evil, but at least they shared relevant information with each other, which I believe strengthened their partnership, even if it took a toll on their relationship. Part of me hopes that they end up back together in Champion, but I know that it may not be ‘what’s best for them’, especially with that huge piece of information we learned about Day--that’s the one thing I’m mad about. They spill the beans in the cave but he can’t even tell June that he’s dying, instead he breaks up with her and then they end up kissing?? AH!

Now for those…...love triangles…. .-. Let’s start off with Anden and June. I’m not sure how I feel about Anden; Lu paints him to be this kind of heartthrob and well-intentioned guy but he’s also sort of naive? Like I get that his whole plan is to reform the Republic with the help of June and Day so that the civilians are on board, but I hope he realizes that there will always be people who are going to 1) resist him and 2) betray him. I really hope he isn’t as quick to trust people as he was with June (which maybe that was because his judgement was clouded). As for being naive...how did he not see June’s paperclip ring???? And to add onto that - how did the Colonies not realize that ‘Sarah’ is actually June???

I don’t know it just seems very unlikely that he didn’t see it considering that June was fiddling with it during their nice little dinner. And also the fact that he was always itching to see her. I didn’t realize, however, that Anden is only in his early twenties—he also lacks the edge that June and Day have, you can tell that he’s a poised person. While it’s great that he stands his ground on the Republic, I find it hard to believe that he isn’t a pushover (even just a tiny bit). Thus, I don’t really see how Anden and June could be a good match; I also don’t think class should play a role into whether or not you should or shouldn’t be with someone.

That sort of brings me to another point, which is the idea of the Priceps and the Elector itself. I have so many questions about Anden's plans, and they mainly involve him. For example, would there still be an Elector (and Senate) after the Republic is reformed? If so, would his powers be minimized, or would he have the status of President? For Priceps, it wasn’t very clear in the book that she doesn’t have to be married to the Elector, but it almost seemed that it was implied; could Anden have chosen to be married and have a separate Priceps? What if the Elector wasn’t straight? So. Many. Questions!! That whole Priceps thing is one of the reasons I couldn’t give this book a full 5 stars, again, it sort of has to do with the lack of information (or the amount of assumptions I have to make).

The next love triangle I have major issues with is Tess and Day, which Day is mostly uh turned off by the whole thing (which I can get behind) but Tess is just so stubborn and tbh pretty jealous, which isn’t cute. I really hope that in Champion they end up reconnecting, especially since Day is practically on his deathbed, but as friends. Maybe Tess will understand where Day is coming from with his feelings about June. Part of me wants Tess to end up with Baxter but I also really don’t like him?????? Agh this really sucks! I wish their relationship didn’t end on such a sour note. Like yes Tess, you were always there for Day (especially when he needed medical care) and ever since they got into contact with June (or rather, when June was sent on her mission), everything went downhill—but I mean, at some point Anden’s father would’ve passed, and maybe things would turn out to be in a similar circumstance, except instead of June it could be a different girl? The fact that Day still calls Tess ‘cousin’ and she still went ahead and kissed him just made me feel slightly uncomfortable?? No, they’re not biologically related, but given the amount of time they spent together, they almost could’ve been. To some extent, I feel like Tess had a huge crush on Day, but she never wanted to admit it until they were separated bc she maybe didn’t realize how much he means to her/she wanted that cheesy movie-like feeling where the two best friends realize that they are perfect together but beyond friends?? I do believe that Tess deserves someone great though, I just don’t think that Day is the guy for that :///

The last relationship-thing I want to briefly mention is Thomas and Metias’ relationship. I’m glad that we have some LGBT+ representation here, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it was forced or not (like a checkbox Lu wanted to tick). I don’t remember in Legend when Thomas kissed June, if there was a kind of repulsion/it didn’t feel authentic. To be honest, I really thought that Thomas was into June, but when we learn he is gay (or maybe bi), it just didn’t seem to fit the story at all??? Upon this revelation, June racked her brain for memories of Thomas and Metias when they were young and oh it just happens that Metias never ‘brought back’ anyone/any girls home. Listen, I’m all for diversity, whether that be the character’s race, gender identity and/or sexual preference, I just don’t want it to come off as the author just ‘checking off a box’; I’d rather it be genuine (even though it’s a fictional story!) For all I know, Lu may have planned this, but to me it just came off as an afterthought, that’s all :/ (and @ Thomas, just because you love someone and it shouldn’t be allowed bc of your ranks, it doesn’t mean you have to kill them even if CoMmAnDeR JaMeSoN said to).

I wanted to also talk about characters—more specifically Razor, Commander Jameson, Baxter, and Kaede (rip). So um I guess we’ll start with Razor aka the biggest con man there ever was. Well tbh I kind of found him fishy, just like June did from the get-go, I just didn’t think it was going to be that…bad??? This goes back to Lu’s foreshadowing—which I would say it improved as I wasn’t able to fully guess what was going to happen—she drops p obvious hints left, right, and centre, you just don’t see them until the events unfold; what may seem like a small detail (i.e. Commander Jameson in Razor’s room on the ship and Day (as a disguise) bumping into her) will end up being part of a bigger plan, so to speak. Part of me wishes we had a peek into his mind to see what he thinks like, and if he has more motives, besides just being “hired” by the Senate to assassinate Anden, maybe Razor has a personal vendetta?? I also definitely suspect that Razor and Commander Jameson may or may not be a thing *side eyes*. I’m excited to read Champion to see how he will stand up against the Elector / the Republic, and whether the other Patriots will stand by his side or if they will turn against Razor--especially because right now he’s in jail, but I doubt he will stay there for long! (which can someone explain why Razor and Commander Jameson only got charged with treason??? They almost flipped the Republic on its head). 

Speaking of Patriots...there’s Baxter, which I don’t know where he stands. I think he’s definitely jealous of Day / the fact that Tess has feelings for Day even though he doesn’t reciprocate them. Just a dash of jealousy. But he did predict that Day would betray the Patriots, which makes me think that Baxter may have a part in an uprising, but maybe there’s a chance that he’ll see the whole story. Part of me also highly doubts that he’ll be rational; he seems to be someone with a heavy confirmation bias--I wonder if he knew that Razor was hired by the Senate or if it just went over his head. What if he’s the main villain in Champion o.O him + Tess would be interesting, especially Day does a last hurrah. But anyways, Baxter was just so arrogant, and I could feel Day’s own disappointment when he did exactly what Baxter had predicted. Yeap, there’s definitely going to be some tension that needs to be revisited. 

Last and certainly not least, Kaede :( I’m a bit annoyed that she’s dead. It’s yet again another thing that could be used against Day (specifically his relationship with June; anything that comes near them dies). We got to learn so much from Kaede, and before we knew it, she got shot. It sucks because I think she seemed like a reasonable person and she always remained level-headed. She’s not one to judge quickly *cough cough Baxter cough cough*. Even in Legend she had her kick-ass moments, but she really saved them from the Colonies and how June and Day can’t really repay her unless they keep on going with their mission. Not cool to just kill her off like that though. 

What I loved from this book, besides the character growth and the depth of their relationships with each other (especially on trust, or the therelackof), I liked how this book is just action-packed. I find with the second book in trilogies, we have a plan with a clear end goal (in this case, assassinate the Elector), and that plan just gets adjusted over time as we uncover information until it gets to the end of the book. Here, that main event ended up being smack bang in the middle, which isn’t something we see very often. It left more room for the story to develop and to allow us to really dig deep into the story, which I much appreciated. At some parts, it almost felt like a rush, especially as the story unfolds and with so many characters to consider--it was a page turner! I’m not really sure if I enjoyed Prodigy more than book 1, as I mentioned, I didn’t really like the love triangles and then Anden is just too naive for me to take him seriously. There were also some cliches (I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding), and honestly, I was not a fan of the ending! I think that’s the main reason why I can’t rate this higher than Legend to be honest. At least with the first book, there was enough closure that could give us a starting point for book 2. Here is was...let’s break up lmao jk also I’m not going to let June know that I’m dying, peace out. 

This review is getting a bit too long lol, and I’m sure there’s something I forgot to mention, but overall I really enjoyed this book. The action, the intensity, the revelation of information and Lu’s foreshadowing make Prodigy a book that’s hard to put down. The characters’ dynamics are all over the place, which just adds to the chaos, but in a good way--it makes the story that much more interesting. I’m patiently waiting for book 3 from overdrive, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to read and review it by next week--I’m itching to know what happens next! [Please, let both of our main characters live  p l e a s e]

I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions on Prodigy! Did you enjoy this book, how would you compare it with the rest of the trilogy? Let’s chat =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you are having a good day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

[kzsheridan]

Character Endings for the students (Super spoilers)

· Byleth fought alongside Edelgard to bring an end to the tyranny of a godlike being. Though he/she was wounded in the battle and lost the power of the progenitor god, he/she remained determined to walk his/her destined path. With his/her legendary blade in hand, he/she will never stop standing against those who slither in the dark until Fódlan at last knows everlasting peace.

· Byleth defeated those who slither in the dark and put down the crazed Immaculate One. In the aftermath of the loss of Fódlan's great leading figures, he/she ascended the throne as the first leader of the United Kingdom of Fódlan. In his/her heart lived the indelible hope that their efforts would one day yield\nan era in which the people knew true peace and the horrors of war were a hazy memory of the past.

· Byleth helped Dimitri to finally crush the ambitions of the Empire. After the war, Rhea stepped down from her role as archbishop, and swore to lead the Church of Seiros in her stead. He/She helped to guide the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus as it brought leadership to the newly unified Fódlan and worked tirelessly to create a peaceful world free from the shackles of oppression.

· Together, Byleth and Claude sent the Fell King Nemesis, a foe from a bygone age, back to the flames of eternity from whence he came. Afterward, Claude left Fódlan, leaving Byleth to ascend the throne as the first leader of the United Kingdom of Fódlan. As he took his schemes and dreams and efforts to a far-off land, he hoped dearly that their joint efforts would one day allow for a world where all of humanity can coexist in peace and harmony, regardless of borders or bloodlines.

· As the new Adrestian emperor, Edelgard dedicated her life to reshaping the delicate political structure of Fódlan. With tireless work and great sacrifice, she reformed the class system to ensure a free and independent society for all. In her later years, she entrusted her life's work\nto a worthy successor before finally vanishing from the public eye.

·  After his coronation, Dimitri spent his life reforming and\nruling justly over Fódlan. He focused particularly on\nimproving living situations for orphans and improving\nforeign relations. He was known for listening intently to\nthe voices of all, and for instituting a new form of\ngovernment in which the people were free to be active\nparticipants. He lived for his people and alongside them and was thusly dubbed the Savior King.

· Claude returned to his homeland of Almyra and assumed the role of a politically active prince. After inheriting the throne, he worked to improve relations with Fódlan. In addition to establishing new trade routes, he fostered trust by sending reinforcements into Fódlan to help quell revolts by the remnants of the Imperial loyalists. Under his guidance, the peoples of Fódlan and Almyra were finally able to set aside age-old prejudices, and over time, the fallacies of old were all but forgotten.

· Hubert devoted his life fully to the service of Edelgard. Operating in the light and the shadows alike, he disposed of countless burdens facing his emperor, using any means necessary. Though his ghastly appearance and imposing demeanor were ever feared, he paid his reputation little heed, focusing instead on his loyalty to the emperor.

· After officially becoming the new Duke Aegir, Ferdinand set about reforming his territory. He overcame numerous obstacles to help the lands of Aegir recover. To recognize his contributions during and after the war, the emperor appointed him as the new prime minister. Thereafter, he stayed by Edelgard's side to help the Empire achieve great prosperity.

· Linhardt abandoned his inherited position in favor of a carefree life at Garreg Mach Monastery. There he spent his days at ease, wiling away the hours at the fishing pond or in his private study. After his passing, a treasure trove of documents was unearthed, revealing the key discoveries he had made during his many years of Crest research.

· In recognition of his achievements during the war, Caspar was given the title of Minister of Military Affairs in the new Adrestian Empire. Though his command developed a reputation for occasional recklessness, he proved an able leader, guiding his troops to overcome countless obstacles. Long after his career had ended tall tales of the glory and good cheer that he brought to his army endured.

· After the war, Caspar set out alone on a journey of self-discovery. He traveled to every corner of Fódlan and even ventured abroad now and again. It is said that he got into mischief at every turn but that the victims of his antics, always more amused than harmed or offended, remembered him fondly and passed those stories on to future generations.

· As soon as Bernadetta inherited House Varley from her father, she withdrew from all political discourse and focused solely on the management of her own territory. Because of this and her penchant for spending long periods of time in "hibernation," she became known throughout the house's history as the "Bear of Varley."

· Dorothea returned to the Mittelfrank Opera as soon as the war was over. Thanks to her talent, the company enjoyed a resurgence in popularity that lasted well beyond the end of her own career. Once she gave up her position as a songstress, she settled down to a private life of peace and quiet. It is said that she was very happily married.

· Petra returned to her homeland of Brigid and inherited the throne from her grandfather. As ruler, she declared independence from Fódlan and worked tirelessly to secure friendly relations with both Fódlan and Dagda. Her efforts inspired her descendants to carry the torch she lit, ensuring a future of peace and prosperity for her people.

· As a loyal vassal, Dedue dedicated his life to supporting King Dimitri through his entire reign. After tending to his liege on his deathbed, Dedue resumed his post at Dimitri's grave on the edge of Fhirdiad. There, it is said he stood sentinel over the peaceful realm he had helped build until the end of his days.

· As Duke Fraldarius, Felix worked for years to revitalize and rebuild his territory. He became the king's right-hand man, serving as a trusted adviser on a range of subjects, especially military affairs. Later in his life, he inherited his father's nickname and was known throughout the Kingdom as the Shield of Faerghus's worthy successor.

· Even after the war's end, skirmishes continued to breakout across Fódlan. Bored and restless in his capacity as Duke Fraldarius, Felix abandoned his title, jumping at the opportunity to wield a sword again. Little is known of his whereabouts thereafter, but even many years later, soldiers continued to whisper rumors of a mysterious man able to deal swift death to scores of enemies.

· After the war, Ashe was formally knighted and appointed the new head of House Gaspard, which had no successors. His warm, sincere attitude toward his subjects was praised all over Fódlan, and Ashe was finally recognized as the ideal knight he'd always hoped to be. His deeds live on in countless tales.

· As Margrave Gautier, Sylvain devoted his life to improving relations with the people of the Sreng region. With oration alone, he succeeded in helping to create a new way of life for nobles in which Relics and Crests were no longer viewed as necessary. Though he went down in history as\nan extraordinary lord, it nevertheless became customary to refer to cheaters as "sons of Gautier."

· Mercedes left home and opened a small orphanage in the Faerghus region with her mother. There, she took in and raised children who had lost their families in the war, regardless of their blood or circumstances of birth. It is said that, in the town which grew around this orphanage, the children never failed to smile.

· Mercedes left home and went to Garreg Mach, where she became a model cleric. She devoted the whole of her life to the service of the goddess and became well-loved by the people, who revered her for her piety and her boundless generosity toward those in need.

· Annette returned to her hometown of Fhirdiad where she took up a teaching position at the Royal School of Sorcery. She was a gifted instructor, and many of her students went on to become world-renowned sages. Though her talent for teaching was remarkable in its own right, she was perhaps best remembered for effortlessly securing the trust and respect of her many students, as well as inspiring all who knew her by living a life of kindness, cheer, and humility.

· Ingrid declined to rule House Galatea, choosing instead to serve House Blaiddyd as a knight. After achieving widespread renown, she formed an elite order of Pegasus knights who served as personal bodyguards to the nobility. She never took a husband.

· When Galatea territory was seized, Ingrid argued strongly for the preservation of its borders. Her request was granted, and she was appointed to rule. From her new position, she gave her all to ensure that the people of Galatea lived peaceful lives and put in years of hard work to reform its farming practices. Her efforts bore fruit, to the people's delight, and Galatea became a land of plenty.

· Soon after the war, Lorenz assumed leadership over House Gloucester and helped govern Fódlan as a representative\ of the old Alliance lords. His political talent yielded revolutionary policy changes, many of which were of particular benefit to the commonfolk.

· Raphael returned to his hometown to serve his liege lord as a knight. After years of loyal service, he resigned his duty to devote his attention to the inn that his grandfather and sister had opened during his time away. Eventually he became the inn's proprietor and developed a reputation for astonishingly good cooking.

· After returning home, Ignatz persuaded his family that he should become a painter. He traveled all through Fódlan and beyond, painting beautiful landscapes and captivating portraits of the world's cultures. His unique style set the artistic paradigm for a generation.

· Lysithea returned home to help her parents restore their family land. Years later, when the end to their hard work was finally in sight, she relinquished House Ordelia's claim to nobility, ceding the territory to a nearby lord. Shortly thereafter, she and her family disappeared into obscurity.

· Marianne returned home to a hero's welcome. The people praised her talent and acknowledged her as a savior of Fódlan. Her adoptive father groomed her as his successor, teaching her the power of words over weapons. By the time she claimed her inheritance, she had transformed into\none of Fódlan's most skilled orators.

· After the war, Hilda set politics aside and focused on what she enjoyed most: crafting fashionable accessories. Her designs quickly achieved widespread popularity. With the help of her brother, Hilda then created the first artisan academy in Fódlan, where she served as both professor and headmaster.

· Leonie joined up with the mercenaries formerly led by Jeralt. As his greatest apprentice, she quickly took on a leadership role and eventually even inherited the title of Blade Breaker. She came to be known as Jeralt the Second, as she began to resemble him in all things—including his drinking habits. She left behind many unpaid tavern tabs.

[babylon-crashing]

... from,  Cultural Survival Quarterly Magazine, by Yulia Antonian.

Armenia, an independent republic formerly within the Soviet Union, was the world’s first country to adopt Christianity as its national religion in 301 A.D. Consequently, one might assume that few traces remain of pre-Christian ways—and then only in remote villages and ancient monasteries lost in the mountains. A closer examination, however, dispels this stereotypical view. In spring 2002, during fieldwork in the Kotayk region of Armenia, I participated in a feast in the ruins of a monastery devoted to the local saints Poghos and Petros. A middle-aged woman with a mentally disabled boy of about 16 sat just in front of the door of a chapel. I later learned that the woman, Vardanush, was a healer and diviner in the region. She attracted my attention when pilgrims approached her with a request to bless a sacrificial rooster, a ritual usually performed only by a priest. Though she had no salt (blessed salt is normally put in the animal’s mouth before slaughtering) she put her hand on the cock’s head and pronounced: “God bless this sacrifice, let it be accepted, let your wishes come true.”

During local feasts, pagan rituals thrive, the blood of sacrificial animals and birds is shed, the zurna (a traditional wind instrument) cries out, and rope-walkers in their multi-colored costumes dance just as their medieval colleagues once did, as depicted in ancient Armenian manuscripts. Pre-Christian traditions are also found among contemporary ritual specialists who engage in healing and divinatory practices involving “pouring wax/lead,” “turning a sieve,” “throwing beans,” and “measuring fright.” Most of these practices are described in medieval Armenian sources as components of a pre-Christian shamanistic ritual of healers who were known as kakhards. (Antonian, 2002) Kakhards’ practices contained many elements of classic shamanism. They suffered from shamanistic diseases, traveled or flew to the world of spirits on vessels, and fell into “ecstasy” or an altered state of consciousness (ASC) during the healing ritual, as described by fifth-century author Yeznik Koghbatsi: “Kakhard must be possessed by spirits before he starts healing other people.” The word kakhard lost its ancient meaning—healers and diviners are now mostly called nayogh, “people who are looking”—but it is still used in contemporary Armenian in a pejorative way, meaning “sorcerer.”

KAKHARD SELECTION AND INITIATION

Vardanush was bestowed with healing abilities while dreaming after suffering from a drawn-out illness. She said she fell sick because she refused to accept the bestowal of special powers. She was familiar with the difficulties of her “mission” because her grandmother was also a hereditary healer and diviner. The process of empowerment of a person with healing skills and abilities often takes place in dreams, and many healers and diviners willingly tell people about their dreams, especially their initiatory dreams, to convince people that they received abilities from saints. Practitioners’ fantastic stories about how they received their skills have similar content and motives. The dream establishes contact with the “other” world, the world of spirits. In dreams, future healers often find themselves in strange places, symbolically indicating the beyond. In an overwhelming number of cases the main action takes place either on a mountain or on a water surface such as a sea or lake.

These themes are illustrated in the dream of Tsaghik Airian, a woman-healer from Karabagh who now lives in one of Yerevan’s suburbs. Tsaghik saw herself moving on a bridge. At the other end of the bridge she was met by an old white man who accompanied her to a palace on a sacred mountain. Tsaghik was struck by the number of treasures that were gathered there. The man suggested she pick something up. She liked a carpet, but the old man took it out from her hands and instead gave her a shabby shawl with a patch in the center. The patch symbolized the navel and it meant that Tsaghik would receive or acquire the ability to cure gynecological diseases.

Varsik, another healer, said that in her initiatory dream she climbed Golgotha, the mountain where Christ was crucified, in an attempt to reach the crucified Christ. Drops of His sacred blood fell down into Varsik’s eyes, making her blind. The nails that fixed Christ to the Cross pierced her breast. Christ then opened her breast, took out the heart and replaced it with his own. Thus she acquired healing and divining abilities—she cures problems in the nervous system, skin conditions, and other diseases.

Details of Varsik’s dream illustrate the components of classical shamanistic initiation when neophytes are blinded or dismembered in order to get new sight or insight and a new powerful body. Dreams of blindness are connected with a perception that, in receiving supernatural skills, shamans can lose their eyesight. (Vitebsky) Blindness, as a component of the “passing period” to becoming a healer, is often mentioned in healers’ stories. Varsik, Lusine, and many others remained blind for some period until they started their healing practice.

The dreams of contemporary healers often display mountains, a widespread mythological symbol of the center of the world. (Eliade) A sacred mountain is a location where shamanistic skills and abilities are delivered to a future healer after they have passed a test. Another ancient symbol of the beyond, represented in a series of dreams of healers and diviners, is a mythic “endless” and “bottomless” sea or a lake widely encountered in Armenian folklore. (Harutyunyan) Before she was awarded divination and healing skills, healer Knarik was required to go through Sevan lake by following a narrow stony path that emerged in waves. Diviner-healer Alvard walked on the surface of the sea in her initiatory dream.

In most cases, initiatory trials are preceded by a period of physical, mental, or emotional suffering—the so-called “shamanistic disease” that occurs when future shamans refuse to follow their calling. All of the healers and community members I spoke to agree that the healer’s and diviner’s mission is severe, full of responsibility, self-denial, and even hard physical suffering. No one would choose this path voluntarily. But no one can resist the “saints.”

The period for “becoming a healer” is filled with drama and often occurs at times when critical changes are taking place in the lives of future shamans. For many women healers, a major life change occurs just after they have married and moved into their husband’s village or apartment. Such change of social status is often accompanied by the sudden acquisition of mystic abilities, and may even provoke it. Death or disease also severely impacts the future healer, particularly when it strikes parents, a husband, or children. Varsik started “looking” (a term signifying the process of divining and healing) after she lost her father. A woman in another village recalled that her own grandmother had become a healer after her child was kidnapped. Alvard had her initiatory dream while sitting on the deathbed of her small daughter. The healer Karine finally decided to accept her “bestowal” after successive illnesses and accidents happened to her three children. She was inclined to interpret this dramatic period of her life as a punishment inflicted by saints for her reluctance to follow their requirements.

The period of physical, mental, and emotional disorder ends when the person selected by the saints agrees to follow. Healers are bestowed with specific rituals, secret magic means, and personal prayers. The latter is taught by saints in the initiatory dream and should be kept secret so it will not lose its magic force. As a rule, “professional secrets” are not inherited, except for medicinal recipes in cases where family members have prepared herbal drugs across generations.

HEALING PRACTICES

Many Armenian healers receive patients in a separate location from their house if they live in a rural area. The locations are rectangular structures with an interior ensuring the sacredness of the place. Those who cannot afford the separate construction or who live in a city make use of the most remote or isolated part of their house or apartment, where people do not live. Armenians believe that in such places spirits and devils find shelter. Inside walls are covered with images of saints (srbi nkar), which are often reproductions of famous paintings by Leonardo, Rafael, and others representing Biblical stories and personages. Also placed on a table are a Bible, mystic books, talismen and amulets, and other tools of magico-religious practice. Healers prefer meeting tete-a-tete with a patient and the presence of other people is usually prohibited. I did, however, have several chances to witness the ritual, including a case when the patient was unable to attend and his mother instead brought his shirt to represent him.

Vardanush’s mode of healing is touching a patient with her hands and fingers or making passes in the air. The ritual is accompanied by whispering prayers passed to her by saints in an initiatory dream. Vardanush said she often flies with saints in the air, communicates with them, and receives advice and support. Dreams are her main mode of communication with saints, as they are to a majority of Armenian magico-religious practitioners.

Bavakan lives in one of the most remote mountain villages of Armenia. In healing, she seats her patient, puts her hand on his head and whispers: “Ter Astvats, Astvatsatsin Mariam [God, Virgin Mary].” Her whispering gets faster and the words are barely understandable. Bavakan ends the prayer with unnaturally long and deep yawning, after which she remains frozen for some time. Yawning is one of the most widely known symptoms of the impending ASC. For Armenian healers, it is a sign of the establishment of contact with spirits, saints, or other supernatural creatures. As soon as she comes to herself, Bavakan crosses the patient three times, then pours a spoon of melted wax into a bowl of cold water. When the wax plate hardens, she takes it out and starts her divination. She says what or who is the cause of disease (or misfortune), why it happened, and what to do in order to eliminate it. At the same time, the ritual is empowered to exorcise the disease, “fright.” Fright is a sickness expressed via severe headaches, depression, insomnia, or mental or emotional disorders, and is caused by sorcery on the part of animal- or man-shaped spirits. For example, the healer may say, “You are frightened by a dog or a dead man, or an ‘evil eye.’” Each diviner-healer possesses his or her own version of the healing ritual. Some include a demonstration of tricks and the preparation of amulets. The healer Siran from the village of Masis opens locks at a distance to destroy the evil forces and “open” one’s luck. She also prepares amulets from garlic, a piece of green fabric, and needles.

Some healers do not practice ASC, while others demonstrate clear signs of an ASC or even possession. Geghanoush, a healer from a region of Vayots Dzor, said she does not start her séance until she has been “contacted” by her saints while in deep silence, sitting before a lighted candle. In some difficult cases, instead of experiencing a light trance she is possessed by spirits and has heavy attacks similar to epilepsy. Varsik said she experiences visions regarding the patient’s state, diagnosis, and outcome of the disease while in an ASC. She said she sees everything in vegetal and animalistic images.

Finding a diagnosis and a reason for the disease is the main and the most important part of the healing process. Some divination rituals like pouring wax or lead have a healing effect as its components symbolically find and remove the disease. Bashkir shamans also pour wax as the main component of their séance. A lump of wax snatched away from the water symbolizes the soul of a patient stolen by the spirits and saved by the shaman. (Khisamitdinova) Other healing methods include magic acts aimed at destruction of sorcery and manual therapy accompanied by the use of traditional herbal drugs or magic means. Siran confessed that she can reveal and manipulate 28 veins and thus heal many diseases. Varsik uses her own saliva to heal some skin diseases. At the final stage, the patient is often sent to make a sacrifice to the saint found to be the culprit of the disease. As a rule, healers-diviners have good knowledge of all sacred places in the vicinity and visit them from time to time to keep in touch with saints. TRANSFORMATIONS OF THE KAKHARDS

Seventeen centuries of Christianity have brought many changes to these ancient healing rituals. According to medieval laws, divination was subject to less punishment than core shamanic healing and, as a consequence, the divinatory component predominated and acquired a healing aspect, which it still has today. Armenian coffee-ground divination, comparatively new to Armenians, is already in some cases perceived as a healing act by both healers and their clients.

Over the centuries, important components of kakhards’ practices, such as falling into long and deep ASC and traveling to the world of spirits on a vessel, almost disappeared. Traditionally, women kakhards could practice healing and divining in Armenian society more easily because official pressure from the Christian church and then the Soviets was slack. Later, under the pressure of Christian church officials, a campaign of persecution began against traditional magico-religious practitioners. Male kakhards were gradually forced to accept other ways of displaying their healing abilities, and often joined mystical branches of the Christian church, like the hermitage. Reports in Armenian biographies1 claim that hermits possess healing abilities. At the end of the 19th century some hermits still existed, and they were widely known as sorcerers and healers. Today, the number of male practitioners is limited.

The official ideology of the Soviet regime considered healers and fortunetellers anachronistic and believed that they would soon disappear. But healing traditions have been revitalized since Armenia regained independence. Unlike countries in which an outburst of shamanistic expression has been associated with national, cultural, and religious revival, the animation of this tradition in Armenia is a spontaneous reaction to stresses that Armenian society has experienced since the early 1990s when war, blockades, and economic crises affected the country. Healers have grown in number, are younger, and their clientele has grown. The gender breakdown of patients and clients has also changed; the number of men resorting to healers and diviners has increased due to the collapse of ideological barriers and increasing stresses and depression. Some theories state that periods of crisis impact the growth and energetic potential of a society and engender a strong need for ancient rehabilitation mechanisms such as shamanism or similar practices. (Kharitonova) This theory seems to hold in the case of Armenia, the world’s oldest Christian culture, where many components of traditional shamanistic practices are alive and flourishing.

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 05

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This time: Un’hee confirms sinister forces at work, both past and present. Thrawn is delivered harrowing news. Ezra observes and contemplates his course of action.

Next time: Ezra encounters the Grysks. Thrawn has a confrontation. Vah’nya does something that could jeopardize everything.

-/

Six months. It had taken almost all of that time for Ezra not to feel entirely out of his depth amongst the Chiss. It was only recently that he felt comfortable enough to wander around alone and actually make conversation with the rest of the crew in their native language. Suffice to say he wasn't great at speaking Cheunh, but he could get by - and didn't mind the pronunciation corrections and tips as much as he let Thrawn believe.

He also suspected he was in the best shape of his life. In addition to his need to learn language, the team that assessed him felt him lacking in hand to hand combat. They didn't care about his abilities with a lightsaber - it wasn't as if they were anywhere close to kyber in the Unknown Regions - so that was another deficiency Thrawn set out to correct in their free time.

It was… strangely good to have Thrawn as a teacher. Thrawn, who, despite what Ivant had suggested, wanted Ezra to call him by his core name, who never demanded formality behind closed doors or during lessons was a good teacher. Ezra might even, with only a small amount of begrudging and a tiny bit of hand waving over their shared past, call him a friend.

Okay, so maybe he just considered Thrawn a friend, the rest of it be damned. Time, getting to know Thrawn, seeing him at work painted a different picture than what he'd seen with the Rebellion. And he wasn't fifteen anymore, it wasn't as simple as good versus bad. Thrawn had done bad things. But the Force stopped whispering caution and started murmuring trust a while ago, in conjunction with Ezra's shifting perception.

And, because he considered Thrawn a friend, Ezra had a lot to think about. Aside from their tasks: menial, semi-useful but mostly time-consuming, and Ezra's training and education, they didn't really do much. The ship they were on trained Navigators. It was an extensive nine month program, by Thrawn's estimation, an orientation and adjustment period, followed by theory and education, followed by practice in what was deemed a relatively safe space. Literally. Several times they had docked either on Chiss planets or tethered to larger ships and a Navigator had gone on their way to their new post.

This wasn't why Thrawn had further risked Ezra's ire to slowly slowly earn his trust. And it was, as he felt like he said almost every day, a waste for Thrawn to be forced to spend all his time and attention on him, to be forced to complete tasks more appropriate for people half Thrawn’s age (or whatever he assumed Thrawn’s age was, he hadn’t really seen any old-looking Chiss).

Something was happening here. Something that wasn't being talked about, that perhaps not even the majority of the crew knew of. Thrawn didn’t say anything to Ezra about it, but he was obsessed. Rarely did he leave the door to his quarters open - only if Ezra was working on something and would call for help with a translation - but Ezra’s understanding of the Chiss script was better than his sloppy spoken linguistics. Thrawn was looking into the Navigators and news surrounding them, and similar ships to this one. There weren’t any.

At first, Ezra suspected Thrawn's search for knowledge stemmed from his previous role, the amount of control he exuded over a situation. But as time went on, he realized that wasn’t entirely the case. Thrawn, someone Ezra viewed as the eye of a storm, a moment of calm despite chaos all around, was at odds with himself. He could feel the Chiss’s imbalance in the Force. But it didn’t make any sense. He hadn’t felt it before they arrived here, and no matter how much Ezra pressed him about his prior rank in comparison to his reprised one and all of its far less glamorous tasks, Thrawn never betrayed any hint of his emotions to Ezra after that first time. Not once.

So maybe, Ezra was starting to think, it wasn’t rank. In fact, for a short while, he almost forgot about it entirely, because Thrawn was acting more or less normal. Still very focused on the truth of whatever was happening aboard the Compass, but normal for Thrawn. Then, they had been put on alert, forced to travel far and away due to Grysk activity in their sector that had claimed two Chiss ships, seen three Navigators taken captive and the vast majority of the crews of both vessels slaughtered...

Un’hee had come to their quarters late. So late that both Ezra and Thrawn had been in their respective quarters, Ezra asleep and Thrawn brooding (or whatever he did since Chiss didn’t seem to sleep like humans did). She’d slammed her palm so hard into the control panel it rocked the wall of the suite, alerting Thrawn, but Ezra had been able to sense her fear in his dreams, and had fallen out of bed over it.

It had taken them a long time to get her to do more than cling to Ezra, burying her face into his chest while she sobbed. In the end, Thrawn had sat across from Ezra on the low table, using the most docile command-tone Ezra had ever heard from him (it wasn’t kind, but it wasn’t laced with the malevolent undercurrent that some of his more gauche statements had been). Slowly, his simple questions that were answered with head shakes or nods fell away and she spoke of her own free will.

“Eli and Vah’nya are busy,” She said to them softly, tilting her head away from Ezra’s chest, although her eyes remained closed. She seemed to be counting through her breaths, Ezra realized in hindsight. It was something he’d seen before, after Kallus had joined their group. Zeb would sit next to them sometimes, and the two of them would sit shoulder to shoulder while Zeb counted inhales and exhales, speaking softly and un-Zeb-like until Kallus’s Coruscanti accent fell into place again.

“Busy with what?” Thrawn asked. Normally, he’d mention the lack of formalities, but this was not the time, and they both seemed to know it.

“They took Navigators,” Un’hee cried. It took her another moment to compose herself. “They said it was a slaughter.”

“The Grysks?”

“Yes,” The Chiss girl confirmed. Ezra had a hard time reconciling these Navigators as the children they were at times, but this was not one of them. “T-they’re consulting with the Admiral, and I couldn’t-”

“It’s alright, Un’hee,” Ezra had said. “You can stay with us.”

“It’s not alright,” The little Navigator said, crying harder. “I know how they think,” She said between gulping breaths, “They’ll put themselves in danger again. They’ve already been captured once,” She cried.

“They?” Thrawn reared back, watching Un’hee very carefully, trying to gain context without interrogating her. “Who was captured? The Navigators?”

Un’hee shook her head. “Vah’nya wasn’t supposed to go, but her Sight told her she needed to go with him, so she did. The Admiral was furious, and then-” She looked up at Thrawn. “It was a ch'accuscehn ch'erei,” She said.

Ezra didn’t understand, but looked to Thrawn instead of asking.

“A suicide mission,” Thrawn translated slowly, the words rolling dangerously off his lips in basic. “Vah’nya and who?”

“Eli,” Un’hee held Thrawn’s inquisitive gaze. “He wanted to protect all of us,” She murmured, small blue hands scrubbing at her eyes. Their red glow illuminated the damp tracks of her tears. “I don’t want him to do it again. He was gone for so long,” She whispered. And then she reached for Thrawn.

Ezra had been careful not to cage the girl in with an embrace, but Thrawn drew her against him as though it was second nature, and Un’hee seemed far more comfortable in his arms than she ever had been in Ezra’s.

“Captain Ivant-” Un’hee flinched. “Eli,” Thrawn revised slowly, the word sounding awkward on his lips, as though he’d spoken without permission. “He is not going to fight the Grysks today. Our orders were to set course for a sector closer to Wild Space. We will not engage with them, Nav-” He caught himself, “Un’hee.”

“They’ll come after us.”

“They are our enemy,” Thrawn had said, but he was frowning with just his eyes, locking onto Ezra. The young Jedi looked concerned, but stayed silent while Thrawn rose with the child in his arms. She was still short, likely anticipating a major growth spurt, or perhaps it was simply that Thrawn was that tall. “If not the Grysks, the Vagaari,” He said softly. “We must strive to protect that which we care about. It is why we serve, is it not?”

There was a moment of silence between them. “I don’t want Eli to die," She leaned back in Thrawn's grip and looked up at him. "Last time,” Un’hee trailed off. Thrawn tightened his grip on her. If Ezra hadn’t taken stock of his ramrod straight posture, he would have assumed he was comfortable with cradling the child to him as he paced the length of their shared space. “I didn’t want to see, but I had to,” She said. “Vah’nya wouldn’t have survived if he hadn’t-”She shook her head.

“You do not have to tell us,” Thrawn soothed. “Not if it troubles you.”

“You want to know,” She said. “And this is what I can tell you.”

Ezra’s lips pursed, his brow furrowing as he focused on the child. The Force hung around all of the Navigators, not Light, not Dark, not like it did a human. It was present and alive and neutral, almost like the Bendu had been, but different still. Right now, around Un’hee, it was a maelstrom of emotions: fear, guilt, and sadness. Behind it, small and growing, a feeling of safety. Comfort. But it wasn’t just Un’hee. He felt Thrawn, too. Thrawn’s worry was strong in the Force. Palpable. And with each word from Un’hee - how the Captain, then a Lieutenant Commander, had managed to kill and escape what the Navigator called Scratchlings, saving Navigator Vah’nya in the process, how he’d been promoted on his deathbed by Admiral Ar’alani, unsure if the long-term injuries would be something even a Chiss could survive - that worry went deep and grew stronger until it churned with fear and longinging, a lonely pain that Ezra felt in his core.

When the Navigator had inevitably cried herself out, falling asleep on Thrawn's shoulder, Ezra made a quiet joke about how Thrawn was going to pace a track into the duracrete tiling. Thrawn hadn't responded, and Ezra finally took it upon himself to stand in Thrawn's way, easing the exhausted girl out of his arms and settling her on the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ezra asked him as he stepped into his small room to pluck the blanket from his bed, throwing it over the child. He knew the answer would be a negative, but he left the option open.

Thrawn lingered in the doorway of his room, stiff-spined and wound. Ezra leaned against the wall that led to the tiny front corridor of the suite, where his quarters were. They stayed that way for a long, long time.

"Eli Vanto was present when I was found by the Empire," Thrawn said evenly. To Ezra, it had felt like being briefed on a mission. "I persuaded the Emperor to give him to me as a translator. We worked together for more than a decade, in service to the Empire."

"You were friends," Ezra said, connecting the dots.

"I-" Thrawn looked to Ezra in that moment, and it struck him that a man like Thrawn did not have many friends. He had allies. Enemies. A brother, apparently, though who knew where they stood with each other. "I had hoped so."

… And that was that. Thrawn had never given Ezra more than those few words. Not that he had to. Ezra was careful not to bring it up again. But he watched, now. He saw how Thrawn was not eager to please, but willing to pull his weight. He wanted to earn the Captain’s trust, but that seemed impossible. Ivant was never in the same room as Thrawn for longer than five minutes, it seemed, and if it was that long, it was because he was speaking with someone.

Their longest conversation had been during a report in which they’d been sent down planetside to a world that spoke more Sy Bisti than Cheunh, about a month after Un’hee’s stay in their quarters. It had been a standard debrief, nothing much had happened, but Captain Ivant had spoken with Thrawn as though they’d always had this relationship. Ivant’s Sy Bisti was more impressive than his Cheunh. His drawl fit in perfectly with the language, sounding polite and yet inviting.

Afterward, Ezra pretended not to hear the slam of a datapad across the desk inside Thrawn’s quarter’s and left him to his own devices.

But it had him wondering. And that was why he’d decided to do some recon of his own. Not on what the Chiss were up to. He had a feeling that would reveal itself in due time. There was a reason he was in this place. He’d felt that in his meditations for a while now.

Un'hee slipped into the mess with a big yawn. Her braids were definitely slept in, and she tucked a stray blue-black lock behind her ear with one hand while she waved at Ezra with the other.

Hardly anyone was here at this hour, the Chiss tended to stay up late and sleep until later in the morning, rather than sleep and rise early. It worked out in his favor. He was usually awake before Thrawn, who readapted to Ascendency life rather gracefully. It had been quite a surprise to the Chiss at first to find Ezra an early-riser, but some things about Rebel culture were ingrained. Ezra pushed down some of his homesickness and looked into his caf - black, the way he'd gotten used to drinking it after Kanan was injured to save their remaining sugar for his tea - then pushed it back altogether and he saw Un'hee approach him from the corner of his vision. She reached for his mug and refilled it with the warming kettle she must have gotten from the mess staff.

It was nearly empty, but Un'hee dashed to return it. The interaction with others was enough to wake the young Chiss up. "You're here early," she said as a greeting. "Is everything well?"

"Everything's fine, Un'hee."

"It does not seem like it," She said, frowning over a warm cereal that Ezra tried once and hated. Apparently the bread was the most modest of food offerings amongst the Chiss, but Ezra had always believed himself to be a rather simple guy. Stranger still was that he shared a common taste in Chiss cuisine with his suite-mate (except for that dreaded half the crew drank).

“Humans are used to getting up early and sleeping when the sun is down - so at the end of a standard rotation,” He explained in Cheunh. It was slower than speaking in basic, but Ezra was trying to do as Thrawn instructed and speak only in Cheunh during the day. It was getting easier. He still dreamed in basic for the most part, but that was likely to continue regardless of how many languages he learned. “I think the standard day here is a little longer.”

“Yes,” Un’hee agreed. She set down her spoon rather than point it at him. The young girl had a tendency to talk with her hands when she was excited or off-duty, and this was at least the latter, though he was sure she’d be more excited if she hadn’t just rolled out of bed.

“Why are you up so early?”

“Oh,” Un’hee shrugged. “No reason.”

“You don’t have anything for another five standard hours,” He said, looking at the chrono-projection on the wall. “It’s definitely too early for you.”

Un’hee reclaimed her spoon and pushed some of the cereal around. “I have supplemental lessons,” She said, quietly. “Like your language ones.”

“For what?” Ezra’s face wrinkled with his frown. “You aren’t struggling with any of your studies.” That, Ezra knew, was true. Un’hee, despite only being nine years old, had the maturity and intelligence of a being at least five years older, and a recall that was otherworldly thanks to the strength of her Sight.

She shrugged. “I didn’t ask for them,” She said, sharing a sly smile, and the tiny twinkling of a giggle with him. With an eye-roll more befitting an ornery teenager, she continued, “I just go as ordered.”

Ezra nodded in sympathy. He understood how that went. “Don’t let them work you too hard,” He said between bites of his bread. Today he’d had some kind of butter put on the flat slices. It was a more savory than sweet flavor, and Ezra found that he liked it more than the sweet jam Thrawn always slathered over his own. He pushed away the thought of how strange a sweet-toothed Thrawn was, and tried to keep his focus on Un’hee. Though their abilities in the Force were minimally similar, the Chiss Navigators always managed to tell when his thoughts wandered.

“So,” She said, when most of her cereal was gone, and she had only a glass of some milky green juice left, “Why are you up and in the mess this early? You almost always wait for Commander Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”

That was a classified question, but Ezra could hardly give the girl such an answer. He had to come up with something. His goal had been to eat a quick breakfast and see if he could make it to the workout center on the second level that the Captain was rumored to frequent in the mornings. Like the Navigators, he had been given permission to use whatever training facilities aboard he wished, while the rest of the crew were assigned to facilities by rank and proximity from their lodgings.

“I’m-”

“Navigator Un’hee,” An authoritative voice called from behind the girl. In an instant, the young Navigator was on her feet, at attention.

“Admiral Ar’alani!” She squeaked, both surprised and elated. It appeared to take an effort in the girl's part not to run to the superior officer.

Ezra was quick to rise as well, shoulders and back straightening to Chiss standards. "Good morning, Admiral," He said in Cheunh when Ar'alani's intense gaze - like Thrawn's, but more obvious about looking for slip-ups - trailed over him. It felt heavy and appraising, much now Ezra had considered Thrawn in the past. He forced himself to stay still under her scrutiny.

"Good morning, Ezra'Bridger," She replied. "At ease," She instructed them next, and though she gave no indication, she seemed approving of Ezra's understanding of the instruction, shifting to parade rest rather than relaxing fully like Un'hee.

"It seems Mitth'raw'nuruodo has provided adequate instruction," Ar'alani moved closer. "Do you understand what I am saying?"

"Yes, Sir." He replied, again in Cheunh.

She nodded. Her voice was interesting, Ezra decided. Dangerous and silky like Thrawn's, but more melodious. Coiled, like a deadly predator, waiting to strike. "You do not have supplemental lessons like Navigator Un'hee this early, is that correct?"

Ezra stiffened. "No, Sir."

The smallest hint of satisfaction curled her lip, there and gone before Ezra could blink. "Excellent. Will Mitth'raw'nuruodo be necessary to translate for you?"

"I should be alright, Sir."

"Fine. You will ask if you do not understand. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Admiral.”

She nodded, satisfied. To Un’hee, she instructed, “Finish your meal. When you go to your supplemental session, please Vah’nya know he is with me. Captain Ivant is aware.”

Un’hee nodded while Ezra reached for his datapad, sitting beside his tray on the table. “Should I inform Commander Thrawn?”

“No,” Ar’alani said, lips thinning. Ezra’s finger’s stilled over the datapad before he could open his communications. “With me, Sky-walker.”