#It hits soooo hard every time i love that song with my entire soul

[snxpdragons]

Always mystifies me how closer isn't the most popular track on intellectual property. like I've been fucked so much that I no longer wait I sabotage and break my own heart just in case. If you even care.

[musings-of-miss-j]

this fucking album, i swear to god-

i cannot emphasize enough, i *sobbed* like a baby the first time i listened to Chords. i was fully expecting Blossoms to be my favorite track, then Chords came in and remined me that my parents are nearing their 50s. full ugly crying, it's right up there with Butchered Tounge in 'songs that hurt me every time'.

AND THE VOCALS!!!! THE FUCKING VOCALS!!!!! first time i played the entire album it was thundering and i swear on everything i love i Transcended humanity for 45m 28s, i wish i could thank the fanfic author who introduced me to this album but they deactivated their account months ago :( Ruin is such a banger song for a hurt/no comfort fic, this entire album is a goldmine for inspiration!

Hozier is still my undisputed favorite, but damn if The Amazing Devil isn't a close second <3

SCREAMS YES YES BLOSSOMS AND CHORDS ARE BOTH SO SIFHEIUGFORGFOE

ruin is definitely one of my top five favourite albums it's just soooo emotionally charged and like you said the vocals are like. soul-shaking

that unwanted animal and farewell wanderlust are fantastic too but ruin is The Album to me

i think the most relatable song would have to be drinking song for the socially anxious but my favourite is secret worlds and the calling makes me dissolve into a pile of emotional slop every time it comes on the slow buildup hits so hard

it's such a shame the writer deactivated :[ i can't claim to know their tastes but i imagine they'd be a big fan of christopher larkin and joe hisaishi. just an educated guess though

[5-puthyyy]

Hi, it's me again *embarrassed wave*

Soooo I was doing very well at my job listening to music and played starry eyes by the weeknd (let's ignore my obsession with abel's songs and voice)

The song is like wanda talking to crusher so here we go:

And now you're my reality

And I wanna feel you close

But you're defeated, baby

Broken, hurtin', sufferin' from a shattered soul

AND

Let me be there, let me be there for your heart

Let me be there, I can be there 'til you're whole

You weren't touched by a woman in so long

'Cause the last time it was way too strong

Let me be there, let me be there for your heart

Let me love you, let me love you like you need

And I'll make it, make it my responsibility

I'll be there every step of the way, uh

I'll get you back on your feet

Let me love you, let me love you like you need

that part hit me hard 'cause that's exactly what wanda did all the time in Undying Love, she was always there, comforting (I swear that jet or plane scene, I don't know, it was something that flies and you made such a cute and intimate moment between crusher and Wanda which I'm sure will never get out of my head), distracting, giving crusher strength and always trying to get her mind out of the mud, that's why I'm so attached to wanda after this fanfic.

and wanda knowing everything that happened to natasha and was patient and careful until crusher really realized the feelings she had for her, pls i love wanda so much <3

And about being with crusher all the way and putting crusher on her feet again... i was thinking wanda should stay with crusher no matter which way crusher goes 'cause she always will be crusher's voice of reason (but I don't know if this will happen 'cause I'm sure the little voice in Crusher's head won't like Wanda next to Crusher so... and there's thanos, the avengers so let's wait and see)

Anyway baby, if you're working I hope you have a good job but if it's not, that's fine, I just want you to have a good day, big hugs and kisses on the forehead <3

no need to feel embarrassed darlin' lol

the weeknd's legendary. great song choice !! (i will re-listen to it and add it to the crusher playlist lol) it does suit wanda and crusher well tbh. u got it spot on there, she tried to be as patient as she could with crusher. i feel that wanda kinda knows or understands how crusher must be feeling because she's been with hydra too. different situations of course but she knows how isolated and guilty crusher must have been feeling.

i think it goes both ways tbh! the voice doesn't like wanda and wanda doesn't like the voice. it's the whole reason she said she can't do this with crusher anymore etc, because she can see in crusher's eyes that she's not really herself. as patient as she can be, she can't be entirely selfless because at that point she'll just be hurting herself

thank you!! hope you've had a great day ❤️

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

My Top 15 Boygroup/Solo Songs (2021)

Remember guys, this is just my personal list.  Let me know what yours are! Love sharing music with eachother etc so let’s all just have fun. 

TOP 15 

1. Beautiful Beautiful - ONF (ONF:MY NAME) April 28th

This is truly no surprise. Anyone who has followed me for a little while knows the way I feel about ONF and their music. As far as ONF goes, this is their best title track yet. It’s fun, upbeat and encouraging. It’s such a hopeful song and something very needed in 2021. The acapella and harmonies throughout the song make it unique and have added to the reasons this is  my favorite songs/albums of 2021. The repackage as well is absolutely genius with songs that connect with eachother like The Realist and The Dreamer. Not to mention the fun pre-release My Name. I can’t imagine the next 1,5 years without new ONF music but I truly will be sad. 

2. Nerves - DPR Ian (Moodswings in This Order) March 12 

Not really Kpop but it’s here. DPR Ian made his long awaited solo debut and holy shit. This album is the most raw, emotional thing I have ever listened too. Every song on the album is so well done, but Nerves is probably my favorite. The raw emotion and the sound of Ian’s voice cracking at his words. It hits my soul. He’s also just so incredibly open with his mental issues and he really let his feelings out in this album. Not to mention the visuals with the album are stunning. Honourable mentions: Welcome to the show  Dope Lovers  Scaredy Cat  He said he’s working on another one and I can’t wait, like really can’t wait. 

3. Moonshot - N.Flying (Man on the Moon) June 7th 

I also don’t think this is a surprise. N.Flying finally got their first full album and I just think it took entirely too long for them to have one. But it totally didn’t disappoint. I have an emotional attachement to N.Flying and for them to release such an empowering song when I really needed it, meant alot. N.Flying always hit and their other song from this year Sober almost made this list, but I decided to put in Moonshot because it resonates a little more. Other songs on this album I recommend are: Comma,  Flashback  Blue Scene I even ordered both versions of this album to support them. I also recommend watching their process of recording this album, it gave a lot of perspective. 

4. 0x1=Lovesong - TXT (ft. Seori) (The Chaos Chapter: Fight or Escape) August 17th

Now, I only really got into TXT this year. It majorly has to do with their change in sound. I love the rock elements and the feeling this song gave me. It gave me goosebumps the first time I listened to it. Sadly, the rest of the album wasn’t for me but Lovesong made up for all of that. I listen to this song soooo often, I even enjoy the remix with pH-1 and Woodie Gochild it’s just sooooo good. I hope they keep up this sound, like they did LO$ER=LO♥ER. This music video is also my favorite of theirs, the colors, the found family feeling. Truly amazing. 

5. Paranoia - Kang Daniel (Yellow) February 16th 

Daniel is also an artist I got more into this year, mainly because of Paranoia. Paranoia was a great choice for pre-release and this song gave me goosebumps. The visuals with it, the hard work Daniel put into it, he deserves the recognition. The theme is so dark but so honest to how he feels and it just hits so hard. Not to mention the song is just so good and he looked absolutely stunning. I’m not above superficial reasons lmao. Antidote and Save U (ft. Wonstein) are other amazing songs on this album. 

6. Popping! - ONF (Summer Popup Album)  August 9th

Shouldn’t be surprised this is here either. ONF really outdid themselves this year. They worked so incredibly hard and this album shows it. They went through alot of trials this album as well but they worked through it and dropped my favorite summer song possibly ever. Summer Shape  Dry Ice  Summer Poem are amazing songs on this album, totally worth checking out. Please do, they worked so hard. I guarantee at least one song will make you smile. 

7. Hula Hoops (ft. Hwasa, Beenzino) - DPR Live (Iite Cool) July 23rd

DPR Live, sir where do I start. DPR dropped this album with the notion that they just wanted to have fun and have fun they did. This album is fun and lighthearted, just what everyone needed in this last year. The whole album is a fun party and the DPR crew worked so hard for this. Listen to this album for a fun time, I recommend: Yellow Cab  Summer Tights  Boom (ft. DPR Ian) All fun songs with totally different vibes. Music videos are perfect too. 

8. Cinema - CIX (`HELLO' Chapter Ø. Hello, Strange Dream) February 2nd

I’ve mentioned this song alot on my blog, Cinema feels like a warm hug. The best way I can describe this song is, going on your first date to the movies and being too shy to even look at eachother and going in for your very first kiss. Just such a wholesome song. I listen to it for comfort and watch CIX’s content for comfort as well. Stairway to heaven and Young are great songs on this album, I highly recommend. I also have gotten into CIX wayy more this year and to say I adore them is an understatement. 

9. Do or Not - Pentagon (Love or Take) March 15

Pentagon and their amazing songs. Look songs like this tickle that special part in my brain. Do or Not is the perfect song, it’s fun and colorful while not being overbaring. All members got their moment to shine and it’s just so good!!! 1+1 Sing-a-song and Baby I love you are great songs on the album. The album is also just so cute, the whole design of it even. Can’t wait for them to come back. 

10. Advice - Taemin (Advice) May 18 

It’s not a list without something SHINee related and low and behold here it is. The piano in Advice is really what does it for me, not to mention Taemin’s styling to be totally honest. I loved everything about this video. It’s the clean white background while he’s covered in paint and then the other way around. Sad Kids and If I could tell you (ft. Taeyeon) are beautiful songs that show Taemin’s artistry. 

11. Inside Out - Nu’est (Romanticize) April 19th

Nu’est have become one of my favorite groups of all time. I love that their songs are so lowkey and they aren’t in your face. They’re calm and relaxed and just very good like background music. I love Inside Out a lot as the concept really sat with me, not to mention the vocals and visuals that came into play. Not to mention every member got a solo this album: here is Aron’s because I’m so biased: I’m Not . Another good song on the album is Black. Shoutout to Aron for climbing into my ult list as well. 

12. Outsider - BtoB (4U: Outside) August 30th

BtoB had a comeback and I am the happiest person ever. Anyone who has followed me for a few years will know my connection to BtoB and I missed them. Outsider follows that jazzy vibe they’ve always had and emphasized it. Changsub and Eunkwang’s vocals are truly magical and the music video is so insanely fun. My baby Peniel absolutely dominated his rap, especially with the adlibs. Can’t Breathe and Traveler are my favorite b-sides.

13. Teardrop - SF9 (Turn Over) July 5

Runway song of the year, ass shaking music but make it high fashion. Not to mention the choreo. Icons and icons only, this being their comeback after Kingdom too. SF9 forever not getting the attention they deserve. Ughh I love them so much. Love Again, Believer and Off My Mind are amazing b-sides I highly recommend. I also recommend watching every Hwiyoung fancam of Teardrop that you can. You know  for clean skin. Here is a playlist where you can do that

14. All In - DKB (the dice is cast) March 30th

DKB, my sons. They dropped this absolute banger. It gives me old kpop, like 2013 - 2015. DKB are so well developed already, sound wise and choreography. They are so impeccable. I really loved watching them grow from their last comebacks. I hope that with Brave Girls’ recent success that people will check out their little brothers. Anyways, I recommend Flower Less and Real Love off of the album. Please show DKB a lot of love!

15. Atlantis - SHINee (Atlantis) April 12th

Okay it was a toss up between ‘Don’t call me’ and this, but I picked this because it gave me more the authentic SHINee sound. I loved the music video and all the fun little details in it. Also this isn’t a list without SHINee, it’s not valid if they aren’t on it. Body Rhythm, CØDE and Kiss Kiss  are my favorite songs on the album but Body Rhythm takes the cake, never have I heard a more wavy song. 

Favorite debuts

Kingdom ‘Excalibur’ February 17th

Kingdom really got me this year. Their music is absolutely impeccable, the boys are amazing, they’re concept is insane and I love it. I found them to be entirely unique even in dynamic and they have made one of my favorite songs of all time Night Air (Acoustic Version) I can’t wait to see where their concept takes them, because it’s just so interesting. 

Mirae ‘Killa’ March 17th

Mirae are another one of my favorite discoveries. DSP Media sucks, but their groups don’t. This song reminded me of NCT 127′s Superhuman and I think that’s why I enjoyed it so much. The futuristic vibe to the video and everything also really tickled my pickle. Not to mention I also just adore their content on their channel, it’s just so fun and comforting. 

D.O ‘Rose’ July 26th 

Now, the long awaited solo debut of D.O. This was right up my alley, the acoustic guitars and the comforting lyrics just hit me in the feels. I’m so sad he didn’t promote. This album was also just impeccable and managed to make me absolutely sob my heart out to one specific song: Dad. I hope D.O has more solos in the future because I just adore his voice so much. 

[nightofnyx8]

I posted 740 times in 2021

82 posts created (11%)

658 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.0 posts.

I added 521 tags in 2021

#royai - 214 posts

#riza hawkeye - 65 posts

#fma - 59 posts

#roy mustang - 50 posts

#fic rec - 30 posts

#rachelrambles - 30 posts

#writing - 22 posts

#asks - 20 posts

#fmab - 17 posts

#fanfiction - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#deep profound and unconditional love is hard to find and harder to keep but its a choice we make every day once we've found it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I’m Only Me When I’m With You

Royai Week Day 2

Summary: She was there for one thing and one thing only--and nothing was going to stop her from achieving her goals. 

Especially not a certain Roy Mustang, who seemed to show up at all the wrong places at exactly the right time.

Rating: T

Words: 10,461

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Read on ao3

34 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 04:51:55 GMT

#4

Misfire

Summary: "You put out a hit out on my Lieutenant?"

Rating: T

Tags: Character Study, Protective Roy Mustang, Italian Mafia, Angst, Chess Metaphors

Words: 2,518

Read on ao3

34 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 01:13:13 GMT

#3

Thank you!!!

Gahh I just wanted to say thank you very much @royaiweek for giving me the opportunity to participate in such a wonderful event this past week! Writing about Roy and Riza has both broken my heart and cursed my soul all at the same time, and I really can't get enough of them!

I also wanted to say thank you very much to everyone who has reblogged or liked or left a kudos or comment on one of my fics this week! I'm trying to get through the replies with finals and such, so I'll get to yours soon!

In case you missed it, the pieces I wrote for Royai Week 2021 are listed below (mostly for my organizational sanity), and please please please don't forget to check out all the other wonderful fics and art (and songs!) that people have created this past week, because they've all really outdone themselves. Have a fantastic day! ❤❤❤

Royai Week 2021

nightofnyx8

Endgame (G)

Royai through Wrath's perspective

I'm Only Me When I'm With You (T)

Royai College AU (because I can)

The Distance Between Us (M)

Paranormal Romance

All That Really Mattered (G)

Royai had a baby, Ed's along for the ride

Where You'll Never Reach (T)

A Lust!Riza oneshot

41 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 00:03:00 GMT

#2

You know what I love about Royai? The possibilities are endless. Arakawa just created this masterpiece with such a rich world and fascinating characters that you can really go anywhere with them. You want a wholesome family fic with Roy worrying his mind over a pregnant Riza? Step right up. Spicy undercover with mutual pining and jealousy? Yup, got that too. Tooth-rotting fluff? Darker themes and moral philosophy? An entire slew of AUs? Full multi-chaptered fics that will rip your heart out and heal it all at the same time? FAM WE GOT YOU.

And that's not even mentioning the entire rest of the FMA cast.

48 notes • Posted 2021-09-17 21:32:02 GMT

#1

I commissioned @chewytran to draw this scene from my Royai Father's Day fic In My Loving Care and I don't think I'm exaggerating in the least to say that this blew me away and exceeded all my expectations in every way possible. ❤

This fic was very raw and intense to write, but also very healing to express the kind of love these two share. This scene in particular is very dear to me and a turning point in the story, and I don't think anyone else could have captured this moment so well in their art.

I very highly recommend commissioning this amazing artist with all my heart--she was always so very kind and I got soooo excited whenever she updated me! Thank you so very much again, my dear friend!

173 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 05:50:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[isaywhatiwantok]

i’m gonna write a review on greatest hits because i love it and it’s my comfort album from now on and i feel like writing a whole ass essay

so let’s start reviewing each song (the reviews get better as you go)

greatest hits: i think it is a great intro, and it really gives you a taste of what the album is like. i like the repeating line, and how the beat changes a bit every time, i really enjoyed it honestly. but i don’t really see it as a track, so i hear it when listening to the album, but don’t add it to playlists.

fuzzy: i loved fuzzy SO much. the guitar riff killed me. the EFFECTS. i love every aspect of it so much. the little brrr is so awesome as well. i love the general vibes of it, it makes me want to dance and sing and just everything. it’s amazing and such a good way to start the album. the buildups are so well done as well.

lowkey as hell: honestly, i loved lowkey as hell when it came out, but as soon as they released snow globe i just kinda forgot about it. i think it was a good single to start with, with all the teasing and leaking and stuff. but it left me with kinda low expectations, since i had just gotten into them when it came out, and i expected more based on their older stuff (i’m such a FANDOM stan istg). but i guess it was a good thing, because i was pleasantly surprised when the other singles came out.

numb: this song made it to my top ten one day after it came out. i listened to it every single day and memorized the lyrics in less then two hours. it legit makes me wanna burn something down. i love it so much. the lyrics are so well written and it always puts me in such a good mood.

violet!: i can’t even put into words how much i love this track. ok first let’s mention the TRANSITION. it’s so smooth and well done and i’m addicted to it. and the song itself has such good vibes and is just adorable generally. since it came out it has been all i’ve listened to (so like two days) and i love it so muchhhhh. i admit i woke myself up at three am just so i could listen to it and dance around.

snow globe: i think this was the single i liked the most. the lyrics are so well written and amazing. i love the general beat and the start is so amazing. (that guitar in the begging tho) and i was soooo excited when it came out. awsten’s voice is so soothing in it as well. i just really love snow globe.

just kidding: i love the lyrics. i think the beat and chorus are a bit weak compared to the other songs, but the verses and the “i like your apartment, i like how your hair smells” is awesome, and i guess it makes sense that the beat is a bit calmer and less developed considering the meaning of the song. but the VERSES and the harmonies are amazing.

the secret life of me: this is probably the most relatable one for me, but i’d rather not compare my life to songs and awsten’s feelings. it’s his song, not mine. moving on, the fast paced beat hooks me so well, and how his voice somehow fits and doesn’t at the same time?? i love it. and the chorus is so catchy and amazing. “real life never feels it’s mine” “i keep my eyes wide, shut”???? a literal lyrical god????like cmon

american graffiti: love the more punk rock vibes, the guitar is soooo good and otto with the drumsss. i love this track so much. “if you need me i’m here, no” foreshadowing much? i’m so addicted. the small beat build ups that lead to the chorus are sooo smart. i can never get enough of the band’s harmonies and background music.

paranoid: there’s no way i’m typing the whole title. i’m not sure what i was expecting when they announced the single, but it surely wasn’t that. starting out with the chorus was such a good choice for this track. it literally hit me in the face multiple times and then stabbed me three times. and i thanked it. and kissed it. i love it

fruit roll ups: this is such a cute song. the more chill and slow vibes comparing to the chaos of paranoid is such a good move, it is like a little break after a marathon. the little beats at the end make the serotonin machine go brrrr

LIKE IT: THIS SONG. THIS FUCKING SONG. i can’t even explain it. it’s fucking fire. i love it more than i love myself and my entire family and friends. it owns my soul and i will burn a building down while it plays and i dance and flip off the police.

gladiator: love it love it love it. the beat????is so good????while he talks??????? like sir???? you are so musically talented and i love you???? great song, great track, awesome interlude and gives a little 🤌 to the album yknow

magnetic: so this one was probably the one i was the most curious about, with all the emojis and stuff. i’m soooooo in love with every aspect of it. the badass energy, the beat changes, the riffs, the lyrics, everything. it’s such a “i will kill you, but don’t hate me” song somehow. it was definitely better than i expected.

crying over it all: he just loves to see me suffer i guess. thanks for putting this after a badass song that makes me feel on the top of the world. it’s such an amazing track tho. i love the build up, the beat drops and background changing while he calmly sings. everything about it is so endearing.

ice bath: i- don’t know what to say. i mean, it’s a great track, but i don’t know how i feel about it. go off bestie ig. but how it starts with greatest hits and then distorts into something darker and heavier???? that’s musical intelligence right there

see you in the future: probably my favorite track that wasn’t released before. the changes and awsten becoming a rap god out of nowhere??? and the nod to paranoid??? so amazing. i’m obsessed with the beat and the quickening. the interlude???? i LIVE for otto’s drum solo at the end this song makes me wanna jump so bad. i’d kill to see it live.

overall, i love the album more than anything else. the diversity of the tracks, how it goes from calm to chaos to sad to happy to even more chaotic and somehow fits perfectly together. it was so well produced. i can tell the band and their crew worked really hard on it, and they really are the greatest hits. i’m so proud of it, and i’m glad awsten is so excited and proud of something he released. every aspect of this album hooks me so well, and it really is a musical masterpiece.

stream greatest hits :)

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Top 3 JATP songs!

Oh my gosh...what a difficult question! Every song is so good, and plays such an important part in the story. It’s hard to choose! But for you, Meghan, I’ll try. 😊

I’m going to start from the bottom and work up from there!

3. “Wake Up” - Julie Molina, solo

This song makes me so emotional, in the most bittersweet way. I think anyone who has lost someone knows how hard it can be to “move on” - how easy it is to get stuck in the dark. And Julie is in a genuinely dark place at the beginning of the show. She’s on the verge of moving out of her family home (even though no one, including her, really wants to,) she loses her place in the music program, and maybe worst of all - she loses music itself.

The context of the song is really what makes me cry. Knowing that Julie’s mom was wise and caring and loving enough to foresee this issue for her daughter - so she wrote her this love letter of a song, reminding her that she’s special and important and talented, and how important it is sometimes to just “wake up, wake up, if it’s all you do.” 

It’s an uplifting, inspiring song that leaves a lump in your throat. And it gives Madison Reyes a chance to shine all on her own. I love her with the Phantoms, of course, but it’s so good that we got the chance to get to know her talent and her voice ahead of time, separate from them. Julie is really special, and she deserved this moment to shine and heal, before she was ready to storm the stage with the ghost boys.

“2. Unsaid Emily” - Luke Patterson, solo

(I know Reggie and Alex play on this song too, but, c’mon...this is Luke’s song, through and through.)

So many people have said so much about this song and this sequence. As this show gained popularity, a lot of our mutuals started watching, and the one thing no one could stop talking about was “Unsaid Emily.” Such an emotional song about a mother-son relationship - so heartfelt, raw, and honest. And the way the show explores the way Luke’s parents were impacted by his death is so heartbreaking and so well-done.

Plus, Charlie Gillespie really, really shines in this song. It’s one of his best performances in the entire show, both on an acting and a vocal level. When he hits the high note in the final chorus - ugh, my heart.

I actually ended up watching this segment way before I watched the entire show. I wasn’t sure if the show would have the depth I’d need - boy, was I wrong. Although this show is gentle and kind, and absolutely perfect for kids, it isn’t afraid to explore themes of loss and regret that people of all ages can relate to. This clip proves that, and it’s what convinced me to finally give in and watch a kids’ show, which is not typically my favorite kind of media. (I’d say JaTP easily passes as an “all ages” show, but that’s another rant for another day.)

1. “Stand Tall” - Julie and the Phantoms

This song is like “Wake Up” cranked up to like, 200. Bittersweet, uplifting, beautiful, showstopping. Such a showcase of all of their talents. Such a bright, happy, high moment for the entire cast!

I will not lie to y’all. I am 29 years old. When the band starts reappearing, after Julie is so certain that they’re already gone - that she failed them - I started blubbering like a baby. Julie is already so strong and so brave, getting up on stage for them, thinking they’ll never come back, but knowing that she has to keep chasing her dream, because it’s what they’d want for her. And then Alex reappears, and she’s so bewildered and so happy. She almost cries again. And then Reggie comes in! And she smiles so hard at him, and keeps playing her heart out.

And then...Luke! Struggling to “poof” in. The way that syncs up with “1, 2, 3, 4 times, that I’ll try for one more night, light a fire in my eyes” - like she’s willing him to appear with the power of her voice alone. And he comes in and finishes the line and they start harmonizing and aaaaaah I’m gone. Fully crying again just writing about it. Laughing at myself a little too, but, it’s soooo good!

I love that Reggie and Alex get their own solo lines, too. And the way the story plays out - Julie was so reluctant to get close to Luke again, to use that classic and incomparable chemistry of theirs (sorry Reggie!) - because she’s afraid of getting too close to Luke and of getting hurt. And this is the first time we see her really lean back into that chemistry again, with her whole heart and soul, because she knows what it’s like to lose him and damn it all if she’s not going to embrace every last second she has on stage with him, if this is really the last time -

This show is too good. It’s too good, y’all.

(Honorable mentions: “Perfect Harmony” for that chemistry; “You’ve Got Nothing to Lose” for the drama; and “Flying Solo” for the BFF feels.)

[taetaespeaches]

favorite albums of twenty-twenty:

I’m indecisive, so disclaimer lol. But I wanted to be self-indulgent for a moment and share my very favorite albums of 2020. In a year where I felt both alone and lonely, music was massively important to me. I tried to limit this to my top ten but I’m too indecisive and a lot of amazing music came out this year so there’s eighteen albums lol. Why not. So yeah, enjoy or ignore, I just had the urge to do this. (This isn’t in order except BE, D-2, Maria, and Map of the Soul: 7 are all definitely in the top five.)

Also, if you see this and want to do your own, tag me! I’d love to see your top albums <3 

↬ BE — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Telepathy, Blue & Grey, Fly To My Room, Disease, Life Goes On

I mean come on. This was the pandemic album we all needed and I will forever be grateful for this masterpiece. I think this is an album that will grow with me and will kind of act as a companion throughout my life. The musicality, the lyrics, the variety, all of it, it’s just perfection. It feels like a friend who gives you comfort but also makes you confront your emotions, and that was everything I needed this year. I will forever be obsessed with this one. BE is my friend. 

↬ D-2 — Agust D

⟶ Top Tracks: People, Moonlight, Daechwita, What do you think?, Dear my friend

Agust D came back and he fucking owned it. The amount of pure talent and passion in this mixtape is un-fucking-real. Yoongi is just unbelievably talented and this album perfectly displays that. Plus, these songs have been my ride or die since May, like, there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t listen to this album in full at least once. Just incredible. 

↬ Mar��a — Hwasa

⟶ Top Tracks: LMM, Maria, Intro: Nobody Else, WHY, I’m bad too

This album is so connected to my fucking soul. I swear, Ahn Hyejin and I’s emotions are so similar and the way we process them is soooo similar, this album just honestly means the world to me. Plus, it’s amazing. Every song is a masterpiece. Obsessed. Much like D-2, I listen to this album at least once a week. And the number of times I have cried listening to it is unreal. Intro: Nobody Else is very much how I felt this year and LMM has made me cry more times than I care to admit. This album makes me feel what I’m feeling, gives me comfort, and helps me pick myself back up again. Another one that will grow with me. This year through the loneliness and in times that I felt I had no one, this was my companion.  

↬ MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Black Swan, Interlude : Shadow, My Time, ON, Friends, Moon, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal, Outro : Ego

Come onnnnnn. Perfection!!!! Quite literally the album that has been there with me through every step of this pandemic. I still cry watching the Ego mv. Why? No clue, just makes me sob tears of happiness. Black Swan? Possibly one of my very favorite songs EVER. OF ALL TIME. My Time? Relatable as fuck. Friends? The cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Moon? I’m sobbing again, that’s my emotional support Seokjinnie. Just, the album is a goddamn masterpiece, I don’t care who disagrees, my opinion is fact on this one.

↬ love is not dying — Jeremy Zucker

⟶ Top tracks: full stop, oh, mexico, hell or flying, lakehouse

Jeremy is another one that I just feel emotionally related too. Like I just get what he says and means and it hits me right in the heart and mind and gut. Another companion album. I think full stop is one of the most relatable songs I’ve ever heard- lyrically and the way it builds and becomes a bit chaotic… like whoah. I feel that in my chest. Also, oh, mexico is another song I related to so hard this year. This album has just made a massive impact on me and I love it.

↬ folklore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: seven, peace, the lakes, the 1

So Taylor surprised everyone with an album. What the fuck, ma’am? This is my second favorite Taylor album to date, second to only her second surprise album of the year. Like what? I’ve cried listening to this album and absolutely sobbed listening to seven. She just really popped off with this one and I don’t think I need to explain to you all why this album is so good. If you’ve heard it, you know.

↬ evermore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: ivy, cowboy like me, long story short, coney island, gold rush

Oh here we have another surprise album, and now my favorite album by Taylor. I think this album perfectly displays Taylor’s insane lyricism better than any of her works. This album just hit really different for me, every song was my favorite on first listen and I still have the hardest time picking favorite tracks. It’s just beautiful and it’s great and I love it a lot.

↬ SAWAYAMA — Rina Sawayama

⟶ Top tracks: Fuck This World (Interlude), Tokyo Love Hotel, Bad Friend, Comme Des Garçons (Like The Boys)

Have you heard it? If so, you know why it’s on this list. Pop perfection. Rina is a goddess. That’s that. It’s just amazing. Rina is a visionary and this album displays that perfectly. Comme Des Garçons was the first song of hers I ever heard and I was immediately obsessed. Next level, this woman. A queen.

↬ Petals For Armor — Hayley Williams

⟶ Top tracks: Crystal Clear, Why We Ever, Over Yet

Wow. Just, bless Hayley for this. Crystal Clear has quickly become one of my very favorite songs ever and Why We Ever is a little too relatable. And I distinctly remember hearing Over Yet for the first time in May and feeling joy for the first time since the pandemic started. This album is one to listen to when you’re mad, sad, when you need comfort, or when you’re ready to heal. Honestly, another companion.

↬ Nectar — Joji

⟶ Top tracks: Like You Do, Your Man, Sanctuary, MODUS, Run, Mr. Hollywood

I could honestly list nearly every song on this as a top song. Holy shit. Joji is another visionary. He’s insane and I’m obsessed with this album. I swear, every time I listen a new song jumps out as a favorite. Like You Do is a song that just means so much to me. A masterpiece. This album is my go to when I’m looking to get into my feels. Also Daylight isn’t listed in the top tracks but what a fucking bop. I’m just in love with this album. For real, obsessed.

↬ Plastic Hearts — Miley Cyrus

⟶ Top tracks: Angels Like You, High, WTF Do I Know, Midnight Sky, Never Be Me, Plastic Hearts

I’ve never been like an avid listener of Miley, just a few tracks, but this year I got more into her. And this album, goddamn. Every song is a contender for top track. How does that happen? Midnight Sky? Huge for me this year. Like I cannot tell you how massive of an impact this song made on me. Angels Like You is such a perfect song. High is a little too relatable. Just seriously, wow. Kind of speechless, I just adore this album.

↬ Positions — Ariana Grande

⟶ Top tracks: pov, obvious, 34+35

The way I cried my first time hearing pov. Ari what are you doing to me? That song is just such a beautiful way to look at love and this whole album is just so healing. A happy spot on this whole year. 34+35 is a thot anthem and I’m obsessed. This album is just another example of Ariana’s talent and we were all blessed to be able to hear it.

↬ CALM — 5 Seconds of Summer

⟶ Top tracks: Wildflower, Lover of Mine, Best Years, Teeth, High

I don’t care if y’all think it’s cool to like 5sos or not, this album is so fucking good. It far exceeded my expectations. Some of these songs are some of my favorites for the year. Wildflower is a fucking happy pill and Best Years makes me fucking cry. High is too relatable, and Teeth may as well have been written about me. And Lover of Mine perfectly relates to the most important relationship of my entire life. I’m gonna say it, Luke Hemmings is such an underappreciated lyricist. The man is good. I love this album a lot. 

↬ Manic — Halsey

⟶ Top tracks: Finally // beautiful stranger, SUGA’s Interlude, Forever … (is a long time), 3am

I never really listen to Halsey so it took me a long time to give this album a try and wow I’m so glad I finally did. It became an instant fav. Honesty, anything Yoongi touches is a favorite for me so obviously that song would be in my tops, but Forever … (is a long time) is so relatable and just so fucking good. And Finally // beautiful stranger is honestly my favorite Halsey song ever. It’s stunning. This album is amazing. Period.

↬ Future Nostalgia — Dua Lipa

⟶ Top tracks: Pretty Please, Cool, Don’t Start Now

This album is just disco pop perfection and I’ve been obsessed all year. It’s the perfect album to listen to when you just wanna fucking dance and forget about all the shit that 2020 gave us. The perfect escape and it’s so so fun and the songs are just bops. I’ve probably listened to this album a hundred times because it’s just the perfect escape. If I wanna let go for a bit, this is my go to.

↬ Punisher — Phoebe Bridgers

⟶ Top tracks: I Know The End, Chinese Satellite, Garden Song

This album makes me feel some shit. Like holy hell we are in our feels. Phoebe’s songwriting is superb and these songs just hit. I honestly only listen to this album when I really need to get in touch with myself because it literally doesn’t allow me to avoid my feelings. But it’s pretty much perfection and I think it’s going to grow with me throughout the years. I just love it. I remember being blown away on my first listen, it’s just unbelievably good.

↬ Ungodly Hour — Chloe and Halle

⟶ Top tracks: Tipsy, Baby girl, Ungodly Hour

I don’t even know how to explain how good this album is. Like, have you heard it? You get it. These girls went the fuck off and all we can do is thank them for it. Thank you for your service ladies. This album is just a vibe from start to finish. And Ungodly Hour is one of the best title tracks of the year. That’s just that on that. Give them all the awards.

↬ IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? — DPR LIVE

⟶ Top tracks: OH GIRL, NO RESCUE NEEDED, KISS ME

This album isn’t just an album, it’s an experience. This man takes you on a musical journey. It’s a story. It’s flawless. I adore it. DPR LIVE is so underrated and I can’t wait for him to get the hype he deserves. This was the most surprising find this year and I’m so thankful I found it. Just so god. From start to finish, you just get sucked in and then it ends and you’re just left like, whoah. Amazing. 

[tisthedamnseasson]

Top 5 jatp moments

I’m SOO sorry this is so late! but thank you soooo much hon!!

This is actually so incredibly hard bc I just love every single moment on this beautiful show? It’s unreal. But imma try (and they’ll most likely won’t be in any particular order (except maybe 1)

1. Wake Up- Okay so when I saw the first ep for the first time I was already loving it so incredibly much thinking it was really cute and sweet and relatable (especially julie being young and dealing with a parent’s death), but then when Wake Up happened at the end, I felt like I was having some sort of spiritual experience?? like I was sobbing for all get out and it hit me so incredibly close to home as if just like julie’s mom was speaking to julie through that song so was my dad. and the lighting!! the way the sun slowly started to shine as she continued to play and got more into it. And the way ray and carlos are smiling and so happy to hear her sing and play again! I feel like a part of them woke up as well. And then the boys standing there in that beautiful light experiencing her singing for the first time and I feel like sorta ‘waking up’ right along with Julie. just AKJHSKJHSJSH everything about this song and scene is just *CHEF’S KISS*

2. Stand Tall (including the moment in the alley with Julie crying and pouring her heart out to her mom). @sunsetnerve did an AMAZING post on how both ‘wake up’ and ‘stand tall’ parallel each other and are like the beginning and ending to julie’s s1 journey, so I won’t go into too much detail about it. But I will say that this was SUCH the perfect finale to Julie’s character arc. Her thinking that the boys didn’t crossover and ‘died’ (and just knew that they didn’t stand her up like last time) and then going out into the alleyway (which correct me if i’m wrong, but seemed to be or at least near where they originally night, which is also a beautiful symmetry). The way she cries and pours her heart out, grieving her friends/family who brought her back to life and wished that she could’ve said goodbye to. Her wishing that her mom was there to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay- as someone who lost a parent when i was young i felt that deep in my soul. But then the lady giving her the dahlia and Julie finding the strength within her to not only keep going put play by herself at the orpheum of all places! And then her music bringing the boys back from Caleb’s magical hold. And just the entirely of the Stand Tall Performance. akjhajkhskjs *chef’s kiss*.

3. The entire episode of Edge of Great. I swear every single moment of that episode was just iconic and gold. From Supportive Dad Ray aka Best Dad Ever and official start of Reggie’s and Ray’s one-sided father-son relationship. To ‘puppy in love’ Luke appearing at Julie’s school and being all bashful when he says that she makes her better and the major heart eyes when she says that they make each other better, which makes him just want to spend all day rehearsing and making music with her. Which turns into Jealous Petty Luke when Nick comes. “Kill it on the dancefloor”. THE ENTIRETY OF OF PERFECT HARMONY WHICH I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ASS META ABOUT. And OF COURSE the entirety of the Iconique™ “Girl’s amirite?” “No.” scene. And the only sad thing about the ep was angsty Willex but the angst was sooo good. And last but certainty not least, THE EPIC JOURNEY THAT WAS EDGE OF GREAT PERFORMANCE. That episode is just filled with the brim of my fave moments, okay?

4. All of Willex moments. I’m sorry I’m cheating again, but I CANNOT chose just one! All of their scenes/moments are GOLDEN. From the entirely of their first meeting (epic hair flip sequence amirite??) to their Iconique™ and epic museum date (can I please find a love and scream in a museum with them??). And of course the equally Iconque™ “Me and Willie? Well.. I wouldn’t necessarily call it magic” and Willie’s basically like “No babe he means your guys’ powers.’ Also as mentioned earlier, even their angst was so good! Hello, it ended with Willie saying all choked up and crying, “Because I care for you, Alex.” And then of the course the also Iconique™ “I would’ve still followed you.” ajhskjhskjhs. And then their BEAUTIFUL final scene of Willie literally driving a tour bus for what seems like hours so Alex and the band could play at the Orpheum so they could get their unfinished business and crossover. His smile while he says “I told you I’d do anything for you Alex.” THEIR HUG. They way they held onto each other so tightly bc they both thought that this was goodbye forever. AKLJHJSHSJH THESE TWO.

(Note: I was gonna cheat again and say all of the Juke moments, but I’m gonna give another moment a chance. But I’d like it to be noted that all of the Juke moments are equally here with the Willex moments as well).

5. All Eyes On Me. How could I not have this Iconque™ moment on here?? From Alex dancing and having the time of his life (as he deserves) to the actual bop of a song with Carrie absolutely slaying it along with my other DirtyCandy girls. ICONQUE™.

Bonus: Otherside of Hollywood both performances and The Band is Back. 

Again, so sorry that this is so late! And THANK YOU SO MUCH  hon!!!

[liibrii]

In honour of today being National Culture Day in my country and exactly a year since I've seen my favourite band perform live, I've decided to take a minute and talk about Dream Theater. And by talk I mean mostly nerd out about my favourite songs and why I love them so much.

in case you haven’t heard of Dream Theater before, they’re an american progressive metal band, who’s been around since 1985. idk what else to say except even if you don’t like metal/rock give a listen to Beneath the surface.

tw: some pretty heavy topics such as death, murder, mental illness, alcoholism,... 

so to start, I love the versatility of their songs and yet they still have that distinct Dream Theater sound. my favourite part of their music are the lyrics. a lot of them are inspired by their own personal experience, which often makes them just the more heart breaking. and for others, I don't know what creator juice these guys are on but I'd like some. they’re the kind of lyrics you want to read while listening to the music just to really get the meaning, and you spend days thinking about them. or maybe that’s just me. :D 

also Petrucci's guitar skills are outta this world, which sadly often overshadows others who are also incredible musicians. I have a soft spot the singer LaBrie cause 1. his voice and singing are magnificent, and 2. he damaged his voice pretty badly but perservered even when critics weren’t very nice to his singing and I respect that.

I'll start with my favourite album (and the one I heard live) - Metropolis Pt. 2: scenes from a Memory. it's a concept album, which if you don't know is an album that has a single central narrative (can be lyrics, musical theme,...). in this case it tells a story of Nicholas, a man who keeps having dreams about a girl named Victoria, and how through hypnotic therapy he discovered he was her in the previous life. Victoria was murdered and her death never solved, so we follow him as he discovers the truth behind her death. I won't spoil it, in case you're curious but don't wanna read the lyrics you can find a synopsis here. I'll just say the story of this album is better than majority of movies.

If you put a gun to my head and made me choose my favourite song on this album it would be the very last one: Finally Free. it's charged with so much emotion, the way LaBrie sings the lyrics; you can tell which part belongs to which character, it's just soooo good! The way each repeats the lines This feeling / Inside me / I finally found my love (life) / I've finally broke free - and I'd go on but I'd get into spoiler territory. so. let's move on with the closing melody (it's not much of a melody, more like static) that becomes the opening of the first song on their next album Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence.

Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence is another concept album. this album. man, how do I even begin to explain it? I can't, you gotta listen to it. have you ever imagined an entire album telling stories of people living with things like alcoholism, post-partum depression, autism, schizophrenia? it may sound intimidating and I won't lie, some songs touch you so deeply it's hard to listen to them (looking at you Goodnight kiss).

and now that my fave albums are outta the way let's talk about my favourite songs in no particular order! (just a note, pretty much everything I’ll say about the lyrics is my personal interpretation)

Beneath the Surface (album: A dramatic turn of Events) - the one that makes me cry like a baby. the one I tefuse to shut up about. the story of two people who are in love, neither aware the other feels the same,  both too scared to make a move till it’s to late and their feelings fade. just, listen to it, please. it’s also the least ‘metal’ of their songs, if that’s not the kind of music you’re fond of.

Spirit carries on (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory): I can’t say much about it without spoiling the story of the album, so let’s say it was experience of a lifetime singing this song on the concert, off key and out of tune, with your bestfriends beside you, all of you crying. 10/10 experience.

Through her eyes (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory) - same as Spirit carries on :D

Finally free (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory) - the emotion!! I want to sing this song at the top of my lungs while it makes tears pour down my face. it’s such a good final song to this absolutely brilliant album.

Pull me Under (album: Images and Words) - when that LaBrie voice hits... if you’ve ever heard this song you know what I mean, and if you are yet too, you’ll know which part I mean. you’ll hear it, trust me. (it’s at 2:54)

Vacant (album: Train of thought): ah look, another song that makes me cry. LaBrie wrote this after his daughter fell into coma for 3 hours when she was 7, and let me tell you, you can feel the fear. easily one of their most heart breaking songs. but she’s okay now, don’t worry. :)

Stream of Consciousness (album: Train of Thought) - an instrumental song with guys just flexing their skills. 

Wither (album: Black Clouds & Silver Linings) - the story behind this song is Petrucci had trouble coming up with new lyrics so this mad-lad pulled a UNO reverse card and wrote a song on having trouble creating. and as a writer who often hits writer’s block I relate to that. 

Count of Tuscany (album: Black Clouds & Silver Linings) - the story of this song could easily be a movie. you meet a young count on your travels and he takes you to his home where his slightly eccentric brother lives, and before you know you’re terrified for your life. I have yet to hear a song that captures the fear of dying as well as this one. 20 minutes of pure bliss and singing at the top of your lungs. 

Out of Reach (album: Distance over Time) - you know that feeling of falling for someone who’s out of reach? yeah, that. 

Fall into the light (album: Distance over Time) - the line Too much love is not enough for us makes me question what is really important in life and I love it when songs make me think. it’s such a simple line and yet so powerful. (spare some of the creator juice?)

Ministry of Lost Souls (album: Systematic Chaos) - you thought we were done with songs that make me cry? ha, think again! this is the song that sold me on Dream Theater. the lyrics have 2 different interpretations, both of which are heart breaking and thus I won’t talk about them. :) 

Prophets of War (album: Systematic Chaos) - I’m not saying it’s about the possible ulterior motives of the Iraq war buuuut... oh no, wait that’s exactly what the song is about. 

Endless sacrifice (album: Train of Thought) - just a song about how relationships take work and compromising, especially when one is a musician and often on tours. Petrucci wrote this song for his wife. get you a man who recognises how much you’ve sacrificed to make the relationship work. 

Build me up, break me down (album: A dramatic turn of events) - I have no other reason for liking this song other than it is an absolute banger.

Panic Attack (album: Octavarium) - this song includes my favourite singing from LaBrie. goosebumps every time. and also the suffocating feeling of pure panic, the paralysis you feel are so well reflected in the music it’s unreal. 

Octavarium (album: Octavarium) - this song has my fave line: It's wonderful to know that I could be / Something more than what I dreamed. and it also takes the award of “Lyrics whose meaning I’ve been trying to figure out for years and still have no clue“. and the orchestral parts of this song... I hope to get a chance to hear it live one day.

I was debating putting some of my favourite lyrics here but I think this post is already long enough. :)

in conclusion, I love Dream Theater and I hope they keep making music!! ♡

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1979

Under the cut.

I discuss Michael Jackson’s life and actions a little bit underneath here. So be warned if that’s something that will upset you.

The Bee Gees -- "Too Much Heaven" -- January 6, 1979

Uugh. When The Bee Gees weren't releasing bad, bloodless, falsetto disco, they were releasing bad, bloodless, falsetto lite "rock." Also the lyrics are about how love is soooo hard to get, so they're special since they have love, and yuck. Nonsense and glop.

Rod Stewart -- "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" -- February 10, 1979

I laughed out loud when I saw this next on the list. People can't have taken it seriously in 1979, right? It was seen like "I'm Too Sexy", yes? Even though Rod Stewart was a "serious" singer -- come on, this is a ridiculous song. It isn't about the narrator; it's about two people meeting on a dance floor and then going to have what's probably a one-night stand. But when Rod Stewart sings the chorus, it sounds like it's about him. It's a highly unsexy and very silly song.

Gloria Gaynor -- "I Will Survive" -- March 10, 1979

The joy I feel listening to this song. It's the best disco song. The bright piano flourish opens to Gaynor's amazing voice and phenomenal singing ability. She sells her anger at the guy who's "back to bother" her, along with the assertion that she's now totally confident and is gonna do great without him, will all her life to live and all her love to give. The lyrics are great, which is incredibly rare for any dance song. The music is great. And Gaynor is perfect. You can belt it in the car and it drives people to the dance floor. Just an amazing, incredible song.

The Bee Gees -- "Tragedy" -- March 24, 1979

The real tragedy is that The Bee Gees shat up disco. What could it have been if not for their influence? There were disco singers and groups who escaped it, but Barry Gibb and Friends' clogging of the charts kept out so many worthy acts. Lots of synth on this song, and synth can be really cool (I'm a diehard fan of The Alan Parsons Project), but the Bee Gees made it boring and turgid. Then that damned falsetto. I don't care about the lyrics, I just want to not hear the Bee Gees again ever.

The Doobie Brothers -- "What A Fool Believes" -- April 14, 1979

The guy the song is about thinks he's going to get an ex back because she was nice when he met her again. He's a fool, and "no wise man has the power to reason away." The music's good, too, a sort of mild rock. "Yacht rock" I suppose. The sentiment is kinda country music though. Good song, anyway.

Amii Stewart -- "Knock on Wood" -- April 21, 1979

What is that in the background? A synth sound, obviously, but it sounds like -- a washboard? I have no idea, but it's annoying. This is a cover of an older soul song by Eddie Floyd that's pretty good, but they wreck it here. The amount of gunk clogging it up is painful. Also Amii Stewart doesn't modulate at all, her voice is a constant blare. Headache-inducing.

Blondie -- "Heart of Glass" -- April 28, 1979

The 80s are coming. Blondie does interesting things with synth here, the beat's irresistible, Debbie Harry's voice is unique, and the lyrics are about an ended relationship that was "a pain in the ass." Not some huge broken-hearted thing, despite the "heart of glass" lyric. Just... done, that didn't work, moving on. Not that the lyrics particularly matter here. It's all about the interesting, different-sounding music.

Peaches & Herb -- "Reunited" -- May 5, 1979

If synth can sound more synthetic than usual, that's how this song begins. It's about a couple getting back together, but it doesn't sound like they were ever in a lot of pain or that they're really excited now. There's some neat guitar stuff. It could be worse. But mostly it's bland.

Donna Summer -- "Hot Stuff" -- June 2, 1979

It's a disco song, but with a lot more rock in it than disco usually has. Maybe that's why it's survived so much better than most disco. The narrator wants one of her lovers (of whom she obviously has many) to answer the phone so that she can get laid. It's the ballad of Romance Sims. It's fun.

Bee Gees -- "Love You Inside Out" -- June 9, 1979

Well, ew. This guy's whining that the woman he loves has too many lovers but he's the one who will "love you inside out," whatever the hell that means. It sounds like a serial killer. She needs to dump him, and also probably move and change her name. And, of course, there's Barry Gibb's horrible orchestration and falsetto.

Anita Ward -- "Ring My Bell" -- June 30, 1979

Disco, of course. He's been gone for a while and she's singing to him "you can ring my bell." So, they're gonna celebrate his homecoming with lots of sex. The lines "You can ring my bell, ring my bell/ (Ring my bell/ ding-dong-ding)" repeat a couple hundred times. The background synth sounds are painfully repetitive. Like something on The Prisoner used to brainwash people. And Anita Ward sings in a Betty Boop-ish sort of childish voice that I also find annoying. It's not Bee Gees bad, but it's bad.

Donna Summer -- "Bad Girls" -- July 14, 1979

"Bad girls" are not the same as "sad girls." Sorry, this song might be fine or even good, but that one line has always bugged me way too much. So does the police whistle.

Chic -- "Good Times" -- August 18, 1979

Disco about how "happy days are here again" for now. The lyrics are obviously pretty shallow, but at least there is a line about how it won't last forever. That's not my problem anyway. My problem is that the chorus bores me, musically. Like, it hurts. There are two notes I think? And the beat is the same throughout. I always sort of ignored this song before, but on actively trying to listen to it, I have started to hate it. It doesn't interact well with my brain chemistry.

The Knack -- "My Sharona" -- August 25, 1979

This became a hit again when Reality Bites came out. So I danced in a convenience store to it my freshman year of college. We were "of the younger kind" then, considering I was 17. That made me like the song better -- it was about me! Rock isn't supposed to be clean, and you're really not supposed to take it as advice. The riff is amazing, and I love this song.

Robert John -- "Sad Eyes" -- October 6, 1979

I've never heard this song before. The music box sounding intro lasts a while and lulls you into complacency before the horrible falsetto kicks in. Not only extremely 70s white man falsetto, but an entitled brat of a man breaking up with a woman and being put out that she's looking at him with "sad eyes." Incredibly bad in an incredibly 70s way. I can see why I've never heard this song before. It's absolutely terrible.

Michael Jackson -- "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" -- October 13, 1979

Sigh. All right, now that he's an adult, gotta tackle Michael Jackson. He was a rampant and, as far as we know, unrepentant child molester. He destroyed people in the most personal way possible short of actual murder. (Phil Spector is still worse.) He was murdered through at least extreme malpractice by his doctor. He was forced into stardom as a child himself. And he was a huge, massive, incredibly gigantic star, even after he became a punchline. I was never a big fan, but like most children of the 80s, I loved some of his songs and spent a lot of time doing the moonwalk, or as close as I could get. I feel an immense amount of pity for him, along with utterly despising him, along with admiring his talent, along with being sickened by the fact that Hollywood and the music industry knew and no one did anything about what he was doing. All in all, I end up at this place: Child stardom must end.

Okay, now for the music. This song takes forever to actually start. Also I have actually never heard it before today. Probably because it's falsetto. Jackson's falsetto is obviously far superior to Barry Gibb's, but it's still falsetto the whole song. The riff is great once it starts, and everything about the music should be good -- but, falsetto. The whole time, as far as I can tell. I can't listen to all of it. Whose idea was it that falsetto should ever be anything other than an occasional few bars? Was it Frankie Valli? I'm gonna blame Frankie Valli.

Herb Alpert -- "Rise" -- October 20, 1979

It's a jazz-funk instrumental and it's pretty good. Piano, guitar, trumpet, some kind of glittering thing -- xylophone? Bells? The people laughing like it's a laid-back party are annoying, but not enough to wreck the song. If this doesn't play on every cruise ship ever, they're missing a trick.

M -- "Pop Music" -- November 3, 1979

I saw the title, and thought I didn't know the song. Then I heard the first bars of the song and went, "OH this one." It's New Wave. I love a lot of New Wave, but this one's on the purposefully shallow end, rather than the Eurythmics end. The lyrics are nonsense, but the beat is pretty irresistable. Which makes it a dance song, whatever its intent. One of the lines is, "Dance in the supermarket," so it probably was intended to be danced to. In any case, I find it pretty forgettable, but fine.

The Eagles -- "Heartache Tonight" -- November 10, 1979

I've heard this song before, but not often. I'm not sure if it's about sex before a breakup or about cheating. Don Henley does not have Elvis' voice, though he seems to be trying to reach that level. Real power is required for the chorus, and Henley lacks it. If this were sung by Freddie Mercury, we'd have something. Queen also would have brought more musical interest generally. But as-is, it doesn't work for me.

The Commodores' -- "Still" -- November 17, 1979

Lionel Richie was still the frontman/ writer for The Commodores here. Should I explore why I can't stand Lionel Richie's music? I'd have to listen to it more to fully understand. It always sounds totally insincere to me. The songs themselves are too slow. This one doesn't have a bassline. It's so polished and gloopy. And in this song, that pause between "I love you" and "still" is both highly predictable and entirely phony. I managed to listen to the entire song, and I rolled my eyes throughout, but especially at that last whispered "still." Oh he's just so sad puh-leaze. Crying his way to the bank.

Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer -- "No More Tears" -- November 24, 1979

I hate Barbra Streisand's singing and like Donna Summer's. I wish this were just Donna Summer. If it were, I'd probably like the song. It's slow for almost 2 minutes, then becomes disco. Streisand isn't able to do as much self-loving in a fast dance song, but it's still there. I tried to find a version with just Donna Summer and failed. So, I dunno, the fact that I can actually listen to the whole thing makes me think it's the most tolerable song with Barbra Streisand in existence. But it would have been so much better without her.

Styx -- "Babe" -- December 8, 1979

Styx was prog rock, but watered-down, simplified prog-rock. Lite prog rock, as weird as that is. But they still had that massive theatricality of prog rock, which I like, and they were great for places like Pine Knob. Outside of those massive arenas, they don't work for me. Dennis DeYoung, the writer and singer of this song, belts the whole way through. Yeah, he hits the notes, but he doesn't seem to realize you're supposed to sometimes modulate, even on a power ballad. Meh.

Rupert Holmes -- "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" -- December 22, 1979

If you take this song seriously, you're likely to hate it. It ain't that deep. It's a goofy song about a goofy thing -- both he and his wife are bored and want to cheat, so they write personal ads, and lo, they answer each other's personals! Though how that happens when they're the blandest Reaganite yuppies ever, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because they're both full of themselves ("if you have half a brain.") I enjoy this song because it is catchy, silly, and totally non-serious. I do not like pina coladas, btw.

BEST OF 1979: "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. WORST OF 1979: "Love You Inside Out" by the Bee Gees

[musingmycelium]

otp theme songs

tagged by @lyrium-lovesong thank you! <3

okay, i, went overboard bc i’m baby and avoiding my homework sooo everyone’s under a cut to save space on dashes <3 and links in the place of audio since i guess that’s only a mobile thing???? 

ellanis tabris/zevran arainai - work song: hozier

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kind'a way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the lowland plot I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

obviously not the whole song but.... hhhh! these are the lyrics that Really Sell this as their song. both of them, when they meet, are ‘workin’ on empty’. ellanis has been dealing with years of depression and apathy, zevran is actively suicidal, and both of them are running out of options. And neither of them are looking to fall in love. yet, they do. and it's in little things, it's in short words, it’s in sweet rememberings, it's in the tiny fractions of hearts beginning to beat in sync. by the time they realize it they’re both in too deep. and maker, the lines in the last stanza hit me so hard for their end of the blight relationship. 

they’re just. finally able to start moving on. forgiving and growing. 

noure surana/anders - i love you: woodkid

Where the light shivers offshore

Through the tides of oceans

We are shining in the rising sun

As we are floating in the blue

I am softly watching you

Oh boy your eyes betray what burns inside you

Whatever I feel for you

You only seem to care about you

Is there any chance you could see me too?

'Cause I love you

Is there anything I could do

Just to get some attention from you?

In the waves I've lost every trace of you

Where are you?

After all I drifted ashore

Through the streams of oceans

Whispers wasted in the sand

As we were dancing in the blue

I was synchronized with you

But now the sound of love is out of tune

now, to be honest, this song feels like its from anders perspective more-so than noure’s. but! it does encapsulate both of their feelings rather well, especially post-blight when they’re separated until they find each other again in kirkwall. the melancholic tone and the slight wistfulness and the deep underlying hunger speaks volumes to me for them. 

idrilla lavellan/solas - if i say: mumford and sons

I came here without a choice

I'm sorry I could never thank you

For saving me more trouble

I didn't want any trouble

If you were given one more chance

Would you bring me back to life?

Bring me back into the light

Into the light

And let it shine on, let it shine on us

And if I say I love you, well, then I love you (x2)

The innocence in your face bled out without a trace

You've won without an enemy, you're ill without a remedy

As night bleeds into night, and I know I came off better than you

It doesn't mean that I feel better (x2)

And let it shine on, let it shine on us

And if I say I love you, well, then I love you (x4)

Are they cleaner than mine?

Show me your face

Did you cross the line?

Show me your eyes

They any drier than mine?

Your soul survives

But peace, you'll never find

do i even need to explain this one kljkljlkjljlkjklj its honestly a perfect solavellan song in general tbh so this might be a tad bit of a cop out but honestly! its so good! and damn if it doesn’t encapsulate their end game relationship perfectly. idrilla is not the type to give up -not on anything and especially not on others, or herself. so her relationship with solas has disappeared to a single red thread but she’s going to follow and tug on that thread until either there isn’t anything left to chase or she finds what’s at the end. 

da’ean lavellan/dorian pavus/the iron bull - you’ve got the love: florence + the machine

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"

But you've got the love I need

To see me through

Sometimes it seems the going is just too rough

And things go wrong no matter what I do

Now and then it seems that life is just too much

But you've got the love I need

To see me through

When food is gone you are my daily meal, oh

When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real

Your love is real'Cause you got the love

You got the love

now these nerds, continue to kill me. out of all of my ocs da’ean is probably The Shyest [if not The he’s up in the top three for sure] and his perception of romance is heavily colored [like idrilla’s is] by his parent’s beautiful, happy, super caring relationship. but the conclave pretty drastically shook up his entire world, so meeting bull and dorian was definitely not something he expected. let alone falling in love with them. their relationship is a bit rocky at first, or well its ‘hidden’ not because da’ean is ashamed [dorian’s hangups aside -those get worked out with some long conversations and working up with small displays of public affection[ but because he’s a deeply private person. but he relies on them after awhile because they’re the ones who keep him a Person instead of herald or inquisitor.

ANYWAYS I’M FEELIN SOFT IN THIS CHILI’S TONIGHT SOOOO

i’ll tag @meribotti @fen-harel @raymurata @madamsnark @goblin-deity and @dalish-ish <3 no obligations of course! <3

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn

[cvenir]

here i am to introduce EIGHT characters that i actually thought i had already introduced lmao set me on fire !! but yay, take a look under the cut! ofc eventually proper bios will hit my pages and their tasks will expand much more on my children! as always, pinterests and songs are linked if u wanna go a lil deeper

just kidding i drafted that when i was aCTUALLY gonna do 8 but thankfully tea says she won’t accept me until i post 2 intros so yOU SHALL RECEIVE 2 RN and 8 later <33333 gotta keep y’all on your toes heh also i wrote niall’s in my journal on the plane so like... it’s not great (literally just bullets of sentence fragments) but wtvr that’s what bios are for amirite

NIALL O'DONOGHUE looks an awful lot like TARON EGERTON. HE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they're ASTUTE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARDUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by KYLE (ok his pinterest is incredibly unfinished look away)

v conflicting mix of soft and hard

king of suppressing his lowkey intense feelings

kinda awkward around others due to the fact that he spent his entire life reading, writing, and studying –– he rarely interacted with other people as a kid and this mostly continued into his adult life

sweet soft boi has a double masters in medieval and renaissance studies and french and romance philology; he’s working on his phd rn while interviewing to become an assistant professor at kola university

grew up w a single mom (never knew dad) and had no siblings so his childhood was even lonelier :////

so like mad libs = his bff :’(

well mad libs and the shoulder flashlight he invented for late night reading (shoutout to amy santiago)

v soft and passionate heart

loves intellectual discussions like my boi has v strong gemini/virgo/mercury influences –– and a libra (or taurus i haven’t decided yet) venus so waTCH OUT

takes friendship v seriously (love u grant <333 @mcnuggcts )

buttt he can be a giant asshole sorry i don’t make the rules

v organized and particular

and scared of getting close to people bc he’s so used to being alone ugh my son!!

but once you get in there you’ll see he’s a good guy like rlly is he just has a bad temper sometimes and can barely express any emotion but anger half the time :///

ISLA VARGA looks an awful lot like ALEXIS REN. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're SAGACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty MACABRE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COOL GIRL by TOVE LO. 

so i’ve played isla before n i’m v sorry to do this but i feel hella lazy so i’m sORRY but here comes a fucking huge wall of text don’t look at me and don’t feel like u have to read it ://// all the triggers i tagged apply to her; she’s p dark so seriously do not read it if you think she will make you uncomfortable!!

to preface, isla is like the embodiment of all of the seven deadly sins, and i molded her a lot after amy dunne (scary, i know) and april ludgate (mostly amy tho april is just deadpan like she is –– when she’s being herself, that is), as she is an incredible pococurante yet perfectionist who borders on sociopathy

soooo this will make sense later but her real name is actually brigid (father’s surname idk) which she now uses as her middle name

so isla’s dad is a fucking rockstar !!! badass right. she’s half-siblings with hadley ( @ofadorations ) and colby ( @shtbgs ) but she actually never met her mom, something she’s not too pressed about

bc she was cute as a button, family friends decided to get her into the entertainment business as a child star almost as soon as she could walk –– she did it all, acted, modeled, danced, sang, she was literally hollywood’s little starlet and she hated every minute of it. the entertainment business loved who they created, but that girl was never her and it weighed deeply on her psyche.

when she was twelve, she decided to fake her own disappearance because she was fed up with everything –– she cut her hair to her ears, dyed it brown (and has continued to do so ever since) and sneaked her way to nyc hoping no one would recognize her

well someone did, and they happened to be a member of ruthless and organized mobs of the city –– in return for keeping her concealed, she pledged her devotion and became one of their most skilled and lethal honeytraps in the business (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BC THEY MADE HER START YOUNG I AM SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS IT JUST PLAYS HEAVILY INTO HER CHARACTER)

along the way, members inevitably died –– people she was sworn to care for –– many times before her eyes as well, which only lead her to realize she enjoyed witnessing all sorts of death, even those of people she was supposed to “love”. emotion was almost nonexistent in isla’s childhood, a trait that bled into her character development.

she began to idolize the gang and its power, something she now craved. still, isla was doing a great job of portraying herself to those around her as a rosy, meek, baby-doll, when in actuality she was a child full of hate who would soon blossom into a young adult of the same tone. she became even more obsessed with death, fantasizing about it as if her unusual thoughts would make her less afraid when it came for her. 

eventually, as she grew older, she was accepted into the higher ranks of the mob; this couldn’t have made isla more content. the macabre girl was honored that someone else noticed her genius, the way she could predict things, assess situations, manipulate people to do her bidding. it was only right that she was initiated into a society that praised her for such harshness

but, as all things do, her time in the gang ended after ten years and isla did what she does best: disappeared. she’s relocated back close to home, kola california, and it’s only a matter of time before people and the industry realize just who she is

if she’s acting like her true self, she behaves like a negative, eldritch layabout who likes to watch others suffer (sounds extreme, i know). however, she rarely lets anyone see the real her, and instead accepts various facades in a big game –– the darkness is truly her personality, she’s not faking her cold demeanor. this image enables her to mask her true potential and the fact that she is unflaggingly loyal and cares about those she’s close to.

if i had to give her a label, it would probably be the pococurante (which is defined as: an indifferent person. possibly they’re bored, jaded or even been hurt. either way, they tend not to get attached to things and don’t show much enthusiasm, whether that’s on the outside or the inside, too)

on the other hand, she could be accurately summed up as an arcane, as she’s an enigmatic mystery and she prides herself on being a puzzle that several people have failed to solve. there are many sides to her personality; in some aspects, she’s very much an aesthete considering she spends a great deal of her time taking putting together outfits, so she has a very defined fashion sense and typically dresses like a princess half the time, which is very ironic considering her dark personality. she truly is so GLAMOROUS (and this is why i love alexis for her) and she works that mean girl, hard soul aesthetic while serving looks and also able to come across as incredibly sweet, which is perfect for her multiple personas. she’s a stunner, with both her appearance and personality; as much as she is indifferent and would prefer to fly under the radar, wherever she goes people always want to ask questions, making her into this intangible concept that everyone wants to define.

people will recognize parts of her as if they’ve seen here in another life, and because of her ostentatious, puzzling, and spellbinding personality, she’s unforgettable. on the other hand, she’s also something of a virago, due to the fact that she can be incredibly feisty when angered; but it takes quite a lot to actually set off her fuse, as she’s good at controlling which emotions she shares. for the most part, she is incredibly blasé and even-tempered. additionally, she’s is a bit of a picaro because her primary aim with her life at this point is to be independent and liberated from any and all attachments to other people. mostly, though, she’s is nothing more than a girl who’s afraid; of what, she still can’t decide.

all in all, she’s so much of everything that she isn’t quite certain of her own identity. her character is one shrouded in secrets and shadows yet alluring and sensual. but, lbr, most of all she’s just deadass terrifying. one of her defining characteristics is her desire to make things happen for her through her own abilities and determination. obstinate as all get out, she doesn’t like to own up to making mistakes so she tries to prove that she’s almost invincible to them bc she doesn’t wanna let anyone see her vulnerable, or she doesn’t want to let someone down - this refers only to those that she’s actually close to. due to her apathetic nature, all she really wants to do is let most people down – people she finds boring and useless – and have some fun because of it. however, when it comes to people she truly has allowed herself to care about, her deepest desire is for their happiness because they must be pretty damn special for making her give a shit.

still, because of her evasive tendencies, she almost always does ruin things for herself and for others, even when she actually cares. she’s like a double-edged sword; when she finds something worthwhile, she sees so much beauty and potential in it, but she’s got a midas touch. whenever she wants to obtain it or pursue it, her involvement makes everything fall to ashes, and she is afraid of her own influence. despite her tendency to run away, once she latches on and decides to be truly loyal, she’ll be devoted in such an extent that she would undoubtedly kill for them.

she can be a loudmouth whenever she actually decides to speak, constantly fabricating outlandish stories and even going off like a deranged person, but beneath her caustic and frightening exterior, isla is rather pensive. on the occasion that she chooses to offer legitimate advice, it’s usually very elaborate and composed. still, she doesn’t want people to know about capable she is, or how intelligent she can be, so she hides her rare brilliance with a tough exterior and stoic personality.

idk if you can tell but i like diving into the specifics of my character like their star signs and stuff so i searched an amy dunne mbti and tweaked it bc it really helped describe her even further! she’s a intj !

introverted intuition (ni): isla sees everything around her in a world of symbols, of metaphors, and of potential. her narration will continually be littered with predictions, with ideas about how things are going to be and what will result from this or that. despite her brashness that some may assume is impulsivity, she is a planner, anticipating new “problems” and seeking to rectify them with her own twisted brand of justice. she tries to work everything into her overall system of understanding, of her big ideas about how the world works, including her take on her various false identities she possesses for her previous job as an escort but also to mess with the minds of others around her. she’s always disappointed by how the real world is never as good as the way she imagined it; she is perfect and nothing else can catch up with her expectations.

extroverted feeling (fe): despite her aloofness, and rather lack of any sort of emotional bearing, empathy, or any sort of true feeling, isla is conscious of how others’ perceive her, of the image she’s created, and of how key that social perception is to her success, even if it’s just in her own imagination. she restrains her real opinions in order to adapt to her environment, as she’s somewhat of a chameleon, only a few have had a chance to catch the true witch beneath the crown. she’s the mistress of change, easily altering her identities in order to better fit in with new people, should the situation require it. she’s easily devastated when she reveals her real personality to others, as in the past, some that she’s left truly see her have refused to accept her twisted true-self. even though she is wholesomely selfish and self-seeking, isla is very people-focused, and applies most of her intellect and analysis onto general people-based functions, that may she can have the confidence that she has clearly manipulated and analyzed every aspect of her environment, as she needs this to feel in control.

introverted thinking (ti): as mentioned, isla is highly analytical, always trying to see the why of a scenario, what’s behind human behavior, which turns her attention to psychology and manifests in her flair for anticipating the thoughts and actions of those around her; she is so obsessed with understanding why people tick that she looks past her own slighted judgment, as she herself could easily qualify as a sociopath/psychopath. she’s always trying to fit in any new experience, or piece of information, into her pre-established system of facts, and as such is rarely ever surprised. despite her apathy and lack of care for her life or how it progresses, she’s highly organized and loves to make checklists, arrangements for the future, and methodically ticks of her obligations, one by one. while her emotions and feelings are significantly suppressed, and even nonexistent, she makes up for that human trait with a very powerful mind, one that is quick to learn and adept with languages, memorization, and logic. however, she doesn’t want anyone to know just how brilliant and quick she is, as it’s her greatest asset, thus explaining why she chose not to be a member on the intellectual team.

extroverted sensing (se): isla tends to respond her physical environment with fierce analysis, as expressed in her intellectual capabilities. she’s almost incapable of living in the moment, contrary to how people suspect she is, considering she portrays herself as impulsive and cunningly excitable. in reality, though, even when she’s crossed off everything on her checklist, she’s almost incapable of relaxing, or enjoying the world around her, as she doesn’t find things that other people find beautiful. she struggles the most with the physical side of her plans, even though she is a very physical individual. she is very open with her body and indulges with the lusts of the flesh, as she sensuality is at the same level as her wickedness. along with this, isla craves for the environment that houses her figure to be pleasant and organized, and can’t stand when things are out of order.

[kimcheolwoon]

what's your favorite track from k1tchen??? love your blog and your love for wonsik so much ❤️ ❤️

he deserves so much love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ darling boy is so precious and talented ;;

but since i can’t answer your question even after having k1tchen on repeat for hours because all the tracks are just That Good, i’m gonna tell you what I like about Each one ^^

wait wait first I want to say that I love Ravi’s voice so much??? And his lyricism. So i wanted to get that out of the way or it’d be in like every review. I esp love when he goes even lower than usual so like in Sparring and Shot it just hits me right in the gut. he has such a nice voice. Oh and I wish I had an instrumental of every single track because damn GTCK showed their asses in that studio. And with that said:

1) Payback - So a lot of Kstarlights were freaking out over the Coogie feature when the tracklist was released and I hadn’t ever listened to him so i was like ‘okay okay this is obviously smth to look forward to’ and OH MY HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT! His verses just...i’m not gonna be able to wax poetic about this mixtape cause i’m still very much in awe. Also Ravi saying “give it to me right right now” is everything okay?

2) Sparring - ooooh my this song......so much goes on in the bg of this song and I love it aaaallllll. Also when this boy drops even lower I kind of like feel my soul exit my body every single time. It catches me off guard every time because I’m always focusing so hard on trying to remain sane. This song needed to be a full minute longer ugh. AND AND it sounds like he’s kind of whispering in your ear and that...that messes with me when i listen

3) Frypan - I knew....i knew this would slap so hard because microdot AND double k??? Ugh i didn’t know what I was getting myself innnntoooooo it’s soooo gods it’s sooooo gooood and like oh my watching Ravi on v live jamming out to this song, he was feeling himself sooo much and there’s just so much love for this track. I always love when Microdot and Ravi collab because i think their styles and voices just bounce off each other they mix so well and there’s a reason we get a feature on every album. but double k was exactly what we needed to shake things up with them and it was...everything was just perfect. I won’t even go into the lyrics because that’s a whole nother story

4) Pavlov’s Dog - I think I already talked about this one, so I’ll keep it short. I had it on repeat for like three days straight? yea. I’ve even warmed up to Basick’s verse at this point. Cold Bay makes the song for me tho really

5) Scarynightt - I can’t wait to read the lyrics for this one and figure just what he’s doing here cause it sounds clever, yknow...even with all the barking and yelping (which i love so much ok? it’s not a ravi album without it)

6) SHOT - I couldn’t wait to hear the studio version after Lost Fanstasia and it’s more than I could’ve ever asked for. its soooo good. another one that’s just tooooo short ugh and he was so playful when he played it on his v live. just so so cute. and he remastered it! but listen..listen...when ravi opens a track and it sounds like he’s dropped an entire three octaves i’m already fucked up. Plus there’s parts in this song when his voice wavers and you can hear his emotion and uuuugggh it fucks me up even more. it’s like the perfect way to end this album

hmm from this i guess you could conclude that my favorites are Payback, Frypan and Pavlov’s Dog and Sparring and Shot!! 

[lovewavesxx]

Love Waves – EP 7 – WTF ARE WE DOING?

Click here to read Love Waves - Introduction

“WTF ARE WE DOING? –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/4WpepDQVwmxbMSLi2JGuSJ

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-7-wtf-are-we-doing/idpl.u-4JombJltjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRQRokZrxPmUwyPZTIzslqpd

1. Lauren Sanderson – Conversations (feat. DYSN)

2. THEY. – Truth Be Told

3. Post Malone – I Fall Apart

4. Snow Tha Product – Waste of Time

5. Drake – Furthest Thing

6. Marty Grimes – Fuxk Around

7. The Neighbourhood - #Icanteven (feat. French Montana)

8. Blaise Moore – HANDS

9. G-Eazy – Shoot Me Down (feat. Anthony Stewart)

10. Tory Lanez – Friends With Benefits

11. Childish Gambino – Heartbeat

12. Beyoncé – Hold Up

13. SZA – Prom

14. Marko Penn – Same Ones

15. Dylan Matthew – Sober

16. Cam Meekins – Heart

17.Cardi B – I Gotta Hurt You

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :) (it’s anonymous)

do·ing

ˈdo͞oiNG/

1. the activities in which a particular person engages.

2. effort; activity.

This is probably the most aggressive playlist I’ve made for this series so far. To be very honest I am struggling with how to write this description accurately. Bare with me while I get to the end zone, and I apologize in advance if it gets long. Just know it comes from my heart.

I used to be the type of person who had issues controlling my words in heated moments. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone I loved because of something I said. Words can hurt. Words can’t be taken back. Due to my growing awareness of that flaw, I really started to work on staying silent and thinking very hard about what to say and how to react in situations that are high stress and potential breaking points in any form of relationship. Since I’m human, it’s still a work in progress at times.

One of the most disgusting things I learned throughout this process of trying to fix myself is that even when I do not release those bitter statements into the world, they still exist in my head. It’s very frustrating for me. If you truly know me, then you know at the heart of everything I want nothing but the best for everyone I love and even people who have hurt me.

It can start to become very draining to think about all the awful things you’d wish would happen to someone because you’re angry at them or because of something they did or how they treated you. That way of thinking is repulsive. It’s not a quality I want in someone else or myself. I’ve learned it is much less stressful to say and genuinely feel that you want the best for that person instead. That’s it, the best. The best of whatever they feel is most fulfilling in their life whether it involves me or not. You can’t choose what happens to you, but you can choose how to react.

The act of letting anger, jealously, and hurt go can be difficult. I still struggle with this. While the journey can be an uphill struggle, getting to the other side is very refreshing. It’s very freeing. For every uphill there is a downhill. Never forget that.

So, the initial concept of this playlist came from an internal confusion I’ve dealt with for what seems like forever—the ups and downs of having someone you care about so deeply and not being able to let them go. It feels sort of like dancing around with them on all of these uphills and downhills. Complexities and confusion is hard for me to deal with. At the same time, I’ve learned my head definitely has the ability to go wayyyy above and beyond thinking and trying to navigate a situation that is not clean cut.

Grey areas drive me nuts because I’m the type of person who wants things to be crystal clear. I want to know what is going on and why. I’m usually an all or nothing type of gal. Having to hold back or put boundaries on any form of relationship feels very unnatural to me. It makes me uncomfortable being told how and when to act.

If I can move my schedule around or make time for you I will without you asking. That goes for friends, family, anything. I prioritize the connections I have. I can’t explain why I’m like this, but I just am. If I care about something or someone I will always fight like hell to make time and give my absolute best effort possible. There are no excuses for not fighting to keep your greatest priorities fulfilled and in the best shape possible.

That being said, I struggle with the differences in priorities I have when another person doesn’t seem to match my efforts. It can kind of feel like a slow death. It can feel like your soul is exporting itself in effort towards another, and when very little is being returned or evenly matched, it can leave you feeling drained.

Another thing I can sometimes struggle with is accepting the difference in opinion or view other’s have towards me, or something I feel very passionately about. I’m stubborn, and I always have been. I get that from my father haha. But at the same time I think I do a decent job of not letting my pride get in the way when I realize I am wrong.

Conflict and disagreements no matter can big or small can be frustrating, but without differing opinions we’d all be the same and let’s be real, that would be hella lame. I think what I’ve learned most from being in situations where there is a disagreement in views is it allows for a perspective other than your own to be heard. It can create a dialogue. Over the past year, more than ever, I have learned I would much rather us have a disagreement and a conversation because of that, than to just give up and leave. I suppose that whole fighting aspect of me morphed more into genuinely fighting to keep growing connections with people I value so highly.

It’s also weird because over the past few months I’ve learned I don’t want to change anyone. I don’t want to control anyone or their behaviors I find less desirable. I’ve learned you have to sometimes accept what you do not understand or agree with. However, there’s a beauty in that act of acceptance. I think that’s how you know your intentions and love is pure—accepting their existence for everything they are in the present. I just want you to be the best version of yourself, and my opinion on what that version is or desired to be is absolutely irrelevant. The only person who can be the judge of what is best for you, is you. I can only be there by your side through everything in support. That’s all I have the power to do or even want to do—support you on your journey. Of course there are aspects that would be a welcomed change, but at the end of the day I only want someone to change if they want to. My views are invalid.

This playlist is meant to display confusion. If you listen to the stories within the songs it’s all very chaotic. It plays with the idea of letting go, coming back, being selfish, being selfless, wanting, lusting, loving, hating, and being annoyed—all of it. At the core I think it displays how uncomfortable I can get when a situation arises and plays with my insecurities in any form of relationship. It’s sad, but when I feel threatened I feel the need to protect myself by lashing out. I want to be cold. I want to be like, “Fine, fuck you.” BUT I am still trying sooo harddd to fight nawwwttt to beeee soooo bitter and petty. Nobody wants to love something that is so negative. It’s gross. Like, it’s literally my least favorite quality that I am seriously trying to fix. *insert sos emoji*

To overcome that feeling of being insecure, uncomfortable, confused, bitter, and even sometimes upset things aren’t going the way you hoped they would, I think it’s easiest to actively calm yourself down and focus on the very moment you are in with yourself or with a person who has the potential to evoke those emotions. Don’t think about the potential of what they could be because you might be creating expectations that may never be met and that could upset you. Don’t think about what they were in the past because you aren’t there anymore. Focus on the present moment you are in with them. Fight like hell to be at peace with them and yourself as you exist in the same moment together. I think when you reach that point life gets way better. It feels like you kind of made it. It feels like that downhill is about to be sccchhhwweeeettt.

To briefly discuss the root of the inspiration behind this wavy playlist I had a friend recently say, “You guys are on and off more than a light switch.” They said this after the playlist and concept were created, but I think it still fits. That statement at face value is funny to me. It’s also accurate. Upon further reflection though (since I’m like, the best at thinking too much) I think it’s important to remember that even when a light is switched off, the wiring doesn’t go away. That spark can always return. It just takes one action. That’s it. A moment of courage or effort can have the potential to light up your entire world and change everything you know. It’s also important to remember that without darkness you may never appreciate the light you are given no matter how long it lasts. A deep connection is rare. I wouldn’t trade mine for anything.

Song Explanations:

The playlist opens up with Lauren singing about wanting to be with someone who makes her grow upward, but the person there right now isn’t pushing to be better or make her better. The lyrics in the second verse show how Lauren is evolving positively and the girl she’s referring to isn’t progressing.

Truth Be Told not only has a great sound, but the story is fairly universal as well. The opening line is, “Say somethin’ / Know that there’s two sides to every story.” Literally, please just say something. Verse two talks about why they broke up.

Click here to read to lyrics for Truth Be Told by THEY.

So, I actually listened to Stoney the night it was released last year. I was mainly obsessed with No Option, Feel, Patient, Leave, Feeling Whitney, Hit This Hard and Congratulations. It wasn’t until recently I saw a short video of Post Malone singing I Fall Apart live on Twitter and I was like, “Bruh, I felt the words you just sang in my soul.” The emotion he conveyed was powerful. Since then, I’ve been listening to the song probably too much. The lyrics “I fall apart down to my core,” leave me shooketh. 

Snow nails how I feel sometimes when my anger and frustration gets the best of me. “Getting attached / I’m gonna go / I’ll be alright / I’m better alone..You’re a fucking waste of time.” Her flow is ridiculous. This song is so smooth whether you’re dealing with anything or not.

Furthest Thing by Drake was a song I played heavily during the spring of 2017. I would list my favorite lyrics from this song, but it would be damn near the whole thing. Most importantly though is the lyric, “The furthest thing from perfect like everyone I know.”

Click here to read the lyrics for Furthest Thing by Drake

I used to think there was a certain point at which I would give up on Him. Hell, Fuxk Around is even by one of his favorite artists, Marty Grimes. So many people have told to move on. Forget about it. He’s dead weight. He’s a mess. He’s a fuckboy. The list goes on. To some degree I have moved on. I don’t hang onto every word or silence between us like I used to. I don’t feel angry anymore. I just feel this weird calm right now. I think that’s good though. I mean, it sure beats crying myself to sleep or craving his attention, like I once did. I swear I used to see the type of car he once had like evvv-eryyy-wherrre and the reminder of him would just unleash this weird wave of heat over my entire body, until I got distracted enough, and then it would leave. What’s even more weird is that I wish I could actually put words to why I would feel that way so I could’ve controlled it better. Either way, time and space have a way of bringing people together or keeping them apart. I guess for us, for now, I’m just lucky we manage to always find our way back eventually. It kind of feels like nothing could actually break that connection past repair because we’re too honest with each other.

#Icanteven is just a littttt ass song by one of my favorite bands who manages to mix genres ridiculously well.

Friends With Benefits by Tory Lanez is definitely a song that makes me just want to dance. Everything about the song makes me feel dangerous. And yeah, I know that sounds crazy.

Heartbeat by Childish Gambino is a song I’ve been playing A LOT. One of my friends made this sick playlist for me and this song was in there. The entire narrative is wild and the music production is even wilder. It’s all sooo great.

“Hold up they don’t love you like I love you..What a wicked way to treat the girl who loves you.” Ya know, it’s crazy because I think a lot of the upset I used to feel from people I had feelings for was derived from me giving so much and just expecting my efforts would be matched by them. I learned that is definitely not the way to be. You either stick around because you care enough about them or you leave. What they do or don’t do hopefully shouldn’t drive you away unless you let it.

SZA is literally my queen right now. Her album Ctrl changed my life when it came out in June. The entire album speaks to me. Prom was the first song off the album I really felt a connection to. The beat reminds me of a heartbeat. I can relate to the lyrics, “Fearin’ not growin’ up / Keepin’ me up at night / Am I doin’ enough? / Feel like I’m wastin’ time,” because sometimes I do feel like I’m not where I should be or I’m not doing enough to get to where I feel I belong. In my head I hear not only myself, but another perspective from someone else saying, “Promise to get a little / Better as I get older / And you’re so patient / And sick of waitin’ / Promise to do better / Shoulda coulda / Prolly wanna let me go / But you can’t, oh.” That same perspective of someone not being on my same level also bleeds into the lyrics, “Please don’t take it, don’t take it personal / Like I know you usually do.” I accidentally take, like everything wayyy too personal sometimes. It’s dumb, and I’m working on it. I don’t mean to be something that frustrates you, and I know you don’t mean to frustrate me. It just happens.

Click here to read the lyrics from Prom by SZA

Same Ones by Marko Penn is this dope song that expresses a few different phases I’ve had in my life, but at the core I stay with the same ones who have always been there for me.

In the past I’ve had to deal with being with someone who was going through some issues, and they dealt with those feelings with substances. It kills me inside when other people choose an object or substance over me. You only want me when it’s convenient for you but your actions are having negative effects on you and me. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough, and it hurts to see you medicate yourself so much. The song Sober by Dylan Matthew is well produced and I enjoy the story he tells.

I see myself a lot in Heart by Cam Meekins. I relate to the female he’s singing about and I also relate to Cam’s perspective too. “Coffee colored eyes / Sick of writing love songs.” Sometimes I feel so intoxicated by his brown eyes, and sometimes it annoys me that he inspires some of my best work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It makes me feel like a creep. I used to feel like the next lyrics, which is really weird when I actually think about it. “It’s like when I am far from you, I want nothing but you / But when I have you here, it’s like I’m only thinking “fuck you” / So maybe I’m the problem, I can’t figure it out / Because no matter what I do, the cycle keeps going around.” I think it has to do with the expectation and fantasy you build that person up to be in your head and then you get disappointed when they don’t live up to the standards you A) didn’t tell them about and B) should’ve never placed on them in the first place. I swear, I have learned so much about people and myself over these past couple years.

The last song is sooooo fucked up. I Gotta Hurt You by Cardi B is crazy. There used to be a time in my life where if I got hurt or felt attacked by someone I just felt the need to get them back with that same hurt. Not physically, but I do have a mean side I am deffo not proud of. It doesn’t even make sense to hurt something you love, but it happens.

If you stuck with me through all of this mumbo jumbo I wish I could give you a hug. I went IN on this week’s playlist and description. Congratulations, I opened up too much about parts of me I do not like, but I’ve never really been scared to express myself. Learn from my mistakes because I am trying my damndest to do the same. There’s this episode of Scrubs where Turk keeps telling Carla she’s making mountains out of molehills. I hope when I get out of line those closest to me continue to keep putting me back in my place. It stings, but I’ll love you for it anyway.

Love,

-E xx.

p.s. To go back to the title, “WTF ARE WE DOING?” I have no clue, and I don’t care to try and figure it out right now. Despite everything we’ve been through, life is still litt when I get to exist with you. I’ll always want to cheer you on. I wouldn’t trade our seconds for anything hun. xx.