#It helps me feel like it's not that bad

[barrel-of-bones-and-brain-worms]

Little bit of comfort art for myself because I made myself sad with Bonus level

Bit of vent under cut feel free to ignore this

I'm aware I'm harsh on myself and the stuff I make, I've been told that plenty of times, but I am actually disappointed and kinda upset with how I've written the Bonus level series. I think what I'm most upset about is that I thought it was actually good while I was writing it and I was really happy when I finished it and I've been putting off reading it fully so that I can forget a few things and experience it.

There's a couple good part that I think are fine but the ending doesn't feel earned, I feel like I skipped over a bunch of stuff and that things happened too fast. I don't feel like I explored the characters right, and if that was just Shopkeep then it wouldn't be as bad because he's mine but I also feel that way with how I portrayed Fast. I don't feel like I did her right, like there's part that just seems too shallow and that I didn't protray her mentality right. I want to do her rigt because she doesn't belong to me and I greatly respect ewolf and her creations

Sure that shallowness could be explained away as Shopkeep's pov because that's what it's mostly in, but even in hers I don't feel like I captured it right and Shopkeep is a character that notices details. I also didn't make turbo as big of a threat as I should have, I should have incorporated things more like actual encounters with the racers and turbo. He was her boyfriend before the original died, he should have been more involved. I should have planned and figured out more because I wasn't sure about how a lot of things would work. Cody and Jacob (who I've since renamed to Johnny) didn't exist and Cody has a much bigger role in Crash Clear-up in many other au's because I've figured out more things.

I'm just not feeling that great about it but I still greatly appreciate the people who do like these two fics. The positivity that comes from people actually saying they like it makes me feel like it might not actually be as bad as I think it is.

Don't let my biased opinion influence yours, if you like it that's great and thank you very much even if I feel like I don't deserve it or any of the wonderful fanart I've gotten of Shopkeep. If you don't like it or think it's ok that's fine too, it doesn't really matter because it's already been made and I'm not going to delete it because that would be a waste of all of the time and effort I put into that story. Maybe I'll rewrite it someday, maybe I won't, I don't know. I'm not going to mess with it for now because it's still fairly new but if people leave comments or stuff for it I'm still going to try my best to respond.

[yurisupernova]

drew that iconic new years eve pic!! (ˊᗜˋ*) ✧

[gotchibam]

Dedenne and Goomy ko-fi doodle for Glitz! ☁️💤

[phosilli]

eye of the vulture king

[hinamie]

domain expansion

[mumblesplash]

part 2!!!! [read part one here]

transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:

“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone

“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try

think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress

[astrophysician]

ALT my reflection

redraw reference, close ups, and a bonus under the cut :)

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[un-pearable]

ngl one of the most useful things i’ve internalized from doing art online is never tell people what to criticize. don’t preemptively apologize for things or point out where you think you fumbled, it’s just priming people to notice minor issues that might not actually matter and hit you where you’re sensitive and throw you off your game. don’t tell people your weak points. if it’s a genuine problem they’ll point it out

[hinamie]

i lied actually i'm not in the mood to finish this anymore orz

[time-slink]

out here playing dress-up

[royalarchivist]

Pac: I can't keep doing this, I can't do this– [Laughs] I can't do this anymore— What is this, man?!

If you didn't see Pac suffering in Sims earlier today, here's a (translated & subtitled) compilation of some silly Sims Hideduo moments that made poor Pac look like he was questioning all his life choices.

[somegrumpynerd]

Texting the homies for help because you fell asleep and got turned into a living body pillow

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

[jo-gakky]

Bilbo comfort doodle because im going into a depressive episode. I apologize if i start to become less active and communicative on all platforms for a bit.

[kidicaruslover911]

sevika making me question if i'm truly even bisexual or just a hardcore glass closeted lesbian that just had her spiritual gay awakening and opened her third eye upon her blantant display of fruitiness once again.

haven't felt this way since mizu's first introduction really.

am i crazy? what is happening to me?

is this what they call gay enlightenment?