#It could have been so good and I'm so upset

[esotericbluntbaby]

tendencies

hamzah the fantastic x reader

description: hamzah, having a match on valentines day, gets caught up in his own world without his girlfriend. after missing the date he was supposed to go on with you after his match, he picks you up in the darkness of the night. the lingering angst and anger builds up into a plethora of tension; more specifically, a more erotic, steaming tension.

mentions: ANGST! obvi, arguments, build up of tension between you and him, both of you have your toxic traits that really shine through, nsfw!, impact play..?, size kink..?, masochist! reader, boxer! hamzah, hurt/comfort, happy ending because sadly i dont think i could ever give u guys a bad ending

PLS DONT KILL ME AGAIN I HAD TO STUDY FOR A CALC QUIZ

--

you were soaking wet, and not in the good way.

hamzah was supposed to be at the purring cat hours ago, leading to your valentines day spent skimming over the laminated menus and sipping on a martini that couldn't get you drunk even if you tried. the warm oranges and reds in the room's lighting and ambiance mimicked the anger you felt rising up inside of you. the lighting, obviously intended to create a romantic atmosphere for all the happy couples on the day of love, taunted you like it was a witch holding out lollipops to children.

now, if some external circumstance did happen, you weren't the type to get riled up or anything; you were a decently reasonable person who was always wiling to hear him out. however, there were multiple blue bubbles on your phone from texting him about his whereabouts and a diminishing amount of his texts responding; in fact, there was really no response at all. you valued the communication and comprehension that was, normally, found in your relationship. however, there was a complete lack of on the day that it mattered the most. you were simply a pawn in his game; you didn't know how much longer you could keep getting moved to different areas of his board without knowing when this game would be over.

it was now so far into the night that the waiters exchanged glances of pity at one another, ending up with your meal comped and a complementary lava cake in front of you. you realized you had said that he was running late for the past two hours. gazing at the melting ice cream placed on top of the moist delicacy in front of you, it mocked you with a certain hunger that you didn't know how to explain. simply gazing at it made you remember how it was supposed to be him that you were dining with.

it was supposed to be him who was holding open the door for you, not some random couple who booked the same reservation time as you. it was supposed to be him who was grabbing your hand from across the table as you both marveled at the complexity of the menu, not you simply ordering a martini to sip on while you waited for him to show up. it was supposed to be him who paid for dinner, not the employees who gave you pity smiles and reassuring gestures of, "i'm sure he'll be here soon."

a scowl of disdain ended up plastered on your features like a mural to an empty wall. furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips, and resentful eyes made its way to your facial expression, which you understood was what caused all the waiters to comp your meal; not out of gratuity, but out of sorrow and compassion. you also understood that the waiters shouldn't have had to comp your meal, if your boyfriend was simply there.

he finally arrived in the lounge as they were about to close at around 11 o'clock at night; you had been waiting there for about three hours. bruises riddled his face, a more prominent one forming on the bridge of his nose. you were too upset to care. not one single text, nor one call, and instead, a pity meal given by those around you. a cyclone had formed, rushing winds and emotions being swirled around the two of you regarding the tension within the air between you. there was not a single word spoken, yet an understanding that you were both going to leave.

as you walked to the parking lot, he attempted to put his arm around your shoulder as if nothing happened; as if he didn't leave you to fend for yourself on the one day that you shouldn't have had to. so, you threw his arm off you, causing an audacious scoff coming from his mouth. the car ride was silent after that.

opening the door, your heels slammed on the floor with a slight stomp echoing with every step. you unlocked the door for yourself, closing it behind you with a loud bang of intensity radiating off of your emotions. you were incredibly pissed and you wanted him to know that.

--

the next day, you still avoided hamzah like he had the plague and was going to spread it to you with every word spoken. you slept on opposite sides of the bed, an invisible barrier being set between the both of you. you ate breakfast together in silence, only after he decided to sit with you on the island. you sat on opposite ends of the couch as you continued the series you started together before he decided to be a complete jackass, only after he joined you on the couch.

it was only throughout the series that he realized he fucked up incredibly and you realized that it's been almost a full day without a single apology. so, he shifted uncomfortable in his seat, sighing heavily as his eyes made it to you.

hamzah could lie and say that he absolutely hated that you were mad at him with no amount of leniency regarding your behavior; he could lie and say that the anger and passion in your face didn't turn him on. he knew it was bad, however, it was like something primal awakened in him. he didn't like you mad, obviously; more importantly, he didn't want you to leave him. however, hamzah believed that you were incredibly hot with that certain scowl on your face. he was at an ultimatum; keep you upset and angry at him so he could admire you even more than he already does, or apologize so that he could stop being a complete asshole.

he chose the latter, attempting to ease his way into an apology.

"i lost yesterday."

you were quick with a rebuttal, "serves you right."

"i didn't show up because i was with some friends," he awkwardly rubbed his neck, "they offered me a drink and i stayed at their house for a little."

"that's so, so great, hamzah. what do you want, a fucking medal? a medal that says 'best boyfriend ever?'" you laughed sarcastically.

"i'm trying to apologize-"

"and i'm yet to hear the word 'sorry' exit your mouth."

his voice raised out of frustration, "because you aren't letting me fucking speak!"

"great, that's just- that's fucking great. not only do you ditch me on fucking valentines day, but now you're damn near cussing me out and yelling at me."

"oh my fucking god- i'm sorry, okay?"

"so sincere!" you exclaimed in sarcasm as you stood up from the couch, "that was the best apology ever! the only apology to ever fucking exist, actually! you might as well be a world-renowned fucking apologist, hamzah!"

you made your way to the kitchen, pouring grapes into a bowl for you to munch on as your boyfriend tried, and failed, to apologize. he followed you, still frustrated from your well-deserved attitude.

"look, i get it- i should've been there yesterday."

"they comped my fucking meal- do you know how bad they felt for me to the point where my meal was free?" you yelled, "3 hours- 3 fucking hours, jackass! i was there for 3 hours just sipping on straight vodka wondering where my fucking boyfriend was! now i'm finding out that he was with his friends instead of his girlfriend because- actually, there is no because. you're just an asshole for leaving me there like that.

he attempted to diffuse your anger by putting his hand on your shoulder, "hey-"

"not only that, but you lost your fucking match yesterday too. you fucked up with your girlfriend and also lost your damn match. how do you fuck up twice?"

you realized that was uncalled for the second it left your mouth. the expression in his face was no longer frustrated; this was pure, undeniable anger. he got closer to you, causing your eyes to look upwards towards him; the height difference caused the intimidation to rise between the both of you. yet, you weren't going to back down. he was the one who messed things up between you and, while you probably shouldn't have brought up his match, he did deserve it. there was a moment of silence between the two of you with your eye contact making all the conversation needed for a couple of seconds.

he stared at you with testing eyes, "what'd you just say?"

you made a noise between a laugh and a scoff, "i said that you fucked up twice."

his hand made its way to your neck, softly slamming you into the wall behind you. your hands made its way to grab at the hand choking you by the neck; not trying to take it off of you, but simply holding it in place. you took a sharp inhale as a smirk landed on your face, taunting him the way that the loneliness in that restaurant taunted you.

"enough with the fucking attitude."

"or what?"

he realized that you were enjoying the show that he was playing for you; he was simply a puppet in your theater. this was amusing to you; his hand around your neck was the piece de resistance of this play. you wanted to know what would happen next; in fact, you were hungry for the climax.

he laughed angrily, "oh, i get it."

"what do you get?" you acted clueless.

"you wanted this."

you scoffed, "don't get too caught up in your ego."

"what? you want me to apologize, baby? you want me to make it up to you?" his hand on your neck became tighter.

you gasped, "frankly, i don't give a shit about what you do."

suddenly, a sting emerged onto your cheek. hamzah slapped you with his hand, as he choked you with his other. your head was turned to the side, until the hand he slapped you with made it back to your face. he turned you so that you were now looking at him with your head towards his own. he gently caressed the area with the burning sensation. even in his rough moments, you're still his princess.

"you got a fuck ton of attitude for someone whose neck is in my hand," he got closer to your ear and began to speak quieter, "you're so fucking tiny, you know that? compared to me, you're so small. your neck fits in one of my hands- both of your hands fit in one of my hands. i could ruin you if i wanted to."

"except you won't."

he laughed once again, "you sure about that?"

"i'd like to see you try-"

and with that sentence, hamzah's lips were rammed into yours. this kiss was full of hunger and remorse. the two of you couldn't get enough of how the kiss was altered by how angry and sexually pent up the both of you were. the dinner yesterday was undoubtably going to end up in drunk and high sex, but this is different. this was sober and needy. this was feverish and hazy. this was better.

he manhandled you, carrying you as you straddled his waist with your thighs. laying you down on the bed, he began to take off the entirety of your clothes in swift and rough movements. getting to your underwear, he physically ripped it off of you with how rough he was being.

"hamzah!"

"i'll buy you three new ones."

he was left in his underwear by the time that his sentence was finished. taking off his boxers, his body moved on top of you in missionary and he aligned himself with the wetness of the area between your legs. he didn't give you much time to adjust as he slammed into you over and over again. he was never rough like this before. moans and your names were exclaimed from both of your sides; you were always a noise girl, so you finished quite quickly. embarrassingly quickly.

you expected hamzah to stop as he normally does; whenever you finish first, you normally let him finish by sucking him off or using your hands. however, his pace didn't stop; in fact, it quickened with the speed of a metronome on its highest setting.

he was overstimulating you, causing your hands to move on their own. you attempted to push him away, being met with being choked by him and slapped once more.

"h-hamzah-"

"you fucking asked for this."

though to an outsiders point of view, this was odd; to you, this was heaven without the process of dying. you previously asked hamzah to be more aggressive during sex; he knew that you were a masochist, yet he was always too scared to hurt you because he simply isn't that kind of guy. the realization of why he was being so rough was sweet. it was obvious to you that he felt bad for leaving you on valentines, and this was his unofficial way of apologizing. by making you feel the best you've ever felt, it made you more incentivized to forgive him for his mistakes.

he finished shortly after you, pulling out and laying down on top of you. the covers were over the both of you as you both laid there: sweaty, out of breath, and fucked out.

"did- did i do okay?" he asked, his anger and frustration now being masked with shyness and timidity.

"you did great, baby."

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to leave you yesterday- i was just upset and i didn't want you to see me like that, especially not in public. i should've texted or just toughened up."

"hamzah, just talk to me. i would've understood."

"but it was valentines day-"

"yea, it was, but i would've been fine just being with you. we didn't have to go out or anything."

"i was being a dick. you don't deserve that. i'm sorry, pretty."

you kissed him with a kiss that foiled the previous one, one that was more gentle, "it's okay. you can make it up to me another time."

he kissed you on the cheek, gazing at you from below, "be my valentine on unofficial valentines day tomorrow?"

"of course."

--

authors note!

guys i am SORRY i lied to u like terribly horribly sorry but happy late valentines day U WERE ALL MY VALENTINES SO NONE OF U WERE ALONE ON VALENTINES BECAUSE I WAS HERE ok i love u guys bye

[lightcycler]

Many men are made aware and grow into better men for it, I'm one of them. I would've ended up like one of these knobs had I not had the experiences in life that I went through. But it was rarely women speaking to me about it, so maybe complaining about it on Tumblr doesn't get the point across as well as saying it to the men you need to direct this "joke" to IRL.

I don't care if you have a preference, but acting like emotional intelligence is the main reason a lot of women don't date certain men is the real joke here. You know as well as I do that women are just as superficial as men, and you supported it in your post. I wouldn't date someone based on what they look like. Being generally attractive does nothing for me. If you are so worried about emotional intelligence, you'd realize that men who are likely to fit your physical requirements, also haven't had to exercise any emotional intelligence, and therefore are more likely to lack it in their relationships. I've found that people who are more generally attractive to most than not, put in less overall work into their relationships because they know they can use their good looks to avoid doing the real work.

I don't chase after people. I meet and get to know people before generating interest in them. How could you possibly know you like someone before you even know anything about them? No amount of body preference is going to override how a person treats you. This is why a lot of people end up with bum partners and we have such high divorce rates. People partner based on physical attraction, and the relationship falls apart when it's gone/wears off.

I'd like to think women cared more about non-physical attributes, but this conversation is not supporting that from your side. Based on your description of how you date, you're shallow under your definitions. Once again, not a bad thing. But if you don't state it upfront, you lose the right later on to complain about someone who you didn't bother to get to know better before you started attaching labels to your relationship with them.

It wasn't a joke. It was you making a snide comment towards men that has been made by many women before you, likely upset at a particular man. But instead of telling that man that he sucks as a person and helping him learn some emotional intelligence, you got and Tumblr and shit posted because you lack the emotional intelligence to deal with it directly.

Also, if you don't want people to like your photos, don't post them. Once again, send them to the person you want approval from and don't fish for it on Tumblr.

why are men so self conscious about their height when there are so many more important flaws to be self conscious about like the lack of emotional intelligence

[heavyhitterheaux]

What about pregnant wifey and joes fav positions 🙈🙊

😃😃😃

It seemed in the beginning her belly was still flat enough to do all of their favorite positions just like before. But it seemed as if her bump grew overnight because of there being two little Burrows in there so they quickly had to adjust. 

Plenty of times they would start out in one position, but after a good thirty seconds to two minutes Joe would hear her protest about how uncomfortable she was. But the first time it happened, Joe had to pull the answer out of her since at first she wouldn't tell him that anything was wrong. Of course that made him a little upset because he's like “You being comfortable while I'm also making you feel good is my priority. Don't ever do that again and lay there and not say anything.”

Her not saying anything ultimately came from her being difficult with him all day, especially when Joe had just suffered another loss during the season and she wasn't trying to add anymore to it.

But once they found the most comfortable positions for her, it was a wrap. Joe did his own research to see the most comfortable sex positions for women who are pregnant with twins. Once he found some, he told her that whenever she was ready that they could try them but the minute she was uncomfortable, she had to tell him immediately.

She loves to lay on her side, she can still reverse cowgirl on him but gets tired a lot quicker and Joe just usually helps her from underneath. Surprisingly, she loves to be standing and holding onto something as Joe enters her from behind (definitely did this over the balcony of their house they have in NOLA during super bowl week). The tabletop position has also been a game changer.

[ace-of-zaun]

Kiss Me More. Pt 4:

silco x f!reader - 2.4k words - SFW

cw: fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, break-ups, self-doubt, emotions, silco is a lovely boy

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

-

Only a few days after Silco had crashed your date, Seven turns up at your work and invites you to a run-down café during your lunch break, where he rather efficiently ‘breaks up��� with you. 

It’s quite a curt speech, all in all. Very straight to the point and surprisingly only includes one, extremely cliché, it's not you it’s me, that he doesn’t even really sound that sorry about. 

You’re mostly too stunned by the sheer audacity to respond to a single word he says. 

And then, to add insult to injury, the lunch ends quite abruptly with Seven pushing back his chair with a scrape and exiting the café (conveniently forgetting to pay for the large lunch and three drinks he’d greedily consumed whilst talking), where he promptly begins to flirt with a girl playing the guitar on the other side of the street. 

You go back to work in a daze. 

Truthfully, you’re a little bit relieved that it’s finally over and that you weren’t the one to have to do the ‘breaking up’ in the end. 

But even though you never really liked him, and even though you think it won’t be enough if you never see his arrogant mug ever again, you still feel that inevitable ache of rejection. The kind which unfortunately hits you right in the middle of your afternoon shift at work, where you almost start blubbering on a customer who innocently asks if you have any vintage picnic baskets. (How could they be so insensitive, don’t they know you went on a picnic for your second date?!)

And after an agonising rest of the afternoon, hating everyone for carrying on as normal as if life isn’t just a cesspit of cruelty, you finally return home from work emotionally exhausted, and desperate to just crawl into bed and hide under the covers forever, until the end of time, please and thank you. 

Except, fate must have it in for you because the very second you make it through the front door, Silco is waiting for you on the sofa.

He jumps to his feet the moment he sees you, looking strangely nervous as he shuffles from one foot to the other. You close the door behind you slowly, eyeing him up like he’s a rabid bunny about to chomp at your ankles. 

It’s tempting to just make a run for it and never look back. But he’s clearly been waiting for you, made doubly obvious by the fact that Vander is watching from the kitchen doorway, leaning casually against the frame with his arms crossed. 

Silco says your name cautiously, drawing your gaze back to him. 

You blink at him slowly which he must take as his cue to start speaking.

"Hey, uh, look," he begins, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, clearly struggling to make eye contact. "I just wanted to apologise for upsetting you the other day. And I didn't mean to imply that you would never be good enough for someone, of course I don't think that." 

"The opposite really…" he then mumbles under his breath.

Vander clears his throat loudly and Silco darts a glance over his shoulder at him. From this angle, you can’t see the face Silco pulls but you can clearly see the pointed look Vander gives him in return. 

Then, just as quickly, Silco swivels back round to face you before awkwardly adding, "And, uh, I'm sorry for crashing your date. It won't happen again. Promise." 

If you weren’t feeling so despondent, you’d have laughed at the irony. No, Silco, you definitely won’t be crashing any more dates. 

You take a deep breath, conscious of his poorly hidden apprehension while he waits for your response. 

"Well, thanks for the apology, Silco, but it really doesn't matter anymore," you say, finding it difficult to inject any kind of warmth or enthusiasm into your timbre. 

But instead of the look of relief you expected, you find yourself confused at the expression of absolute horror that suddenly paints itself across Silco’s face. 

"What." 

"He broke up with me," you clarify with a frown. 

You’re certain that the carousel of emotions that play out across Silco’s face would be thoroughly entertaining at any other time. Starting with pure surprise, that then shifts to guilty relief, before landing on a look that can only be described as torn. 

"Oh," he says, before his features finally, finally drop into concern. "Oh."

You’re not sure what prompts you to do it because it’s definitely not a conscious decision, but all of a sudden you find yourself walking silently to your bedroom like you’re stuck on tracks. You think Silco might call your name behind you, but you can’t respond, stuck in your own little bubble of despair.

And before you know it, you’re getting into bed and hugging a pillow to your body as you begin to cry. 

It’s all a confusing mess of pressure that sits right in your chest; the disappointment, and sense of abandonment, and that awful, desperate hope for a new chance at what you’d hoped might eventually become love. 

You have no idea how long you stay curled up in your bed, but at some point, the sobs  eventually recede into a quiet stream of tears, salting your cheeks. 

In fact, you’re only brought back to the real world when a knock sounds on your bedroom door. 

You ignore it, which only proves futile because a few seconds later the door pushes open anyway, revealing a fuzzy, tear-blurred Silco. 

You watch him silently, blinking the tears out of your sore eyes. Normally, you’d be shouting at him for not respecting your boundaries, but just now, you have no energy to do anything but sniffle and stare. 

"I brought you some tea," he announces, terribly, heart-breakingly soft.

Silco places the tray down on your bedside cabinet with a carefulness you rarely see from the lanky boy, much more accustomed to the rough, slightly clumsy way that he usually trips through life.

But when you finally get a glimpse of the tray, you find that he hasn’t just brought you tea, but also the small box of chocolates you’d spent months scrimping and saving for, just to give to him on his birthday.

Your heart pangs at the thoughtfulness and almost threatens to set you off crying again. 

"Those are yours," you croak out, throat sore and just that little bit swollen. 

His expression crumples into concern at the sound, but he manages to keep that soft, soothing timbre that’s held you together through countless bad nights at this point.

"You deserve them more than I do." 

Your bottom lip juts out in protest against the tears that begin to flow again, entirely without your permission. 

Silco carefully sits down on the edge of the mattress, reaching out with his thumb to gently brush the tears off your cheeks, one side then the other. 

You look up at him and there’s a moment where you wish you could become stuck in time, stay in this bittersweet moment forever, just the two of you. 

"I really am sorry," he murmurs.

"No, you're not," you mumble back, without heat. 

You’re not angry. Gods, you’re far too tired to even think about being angry right now. If anything, you’re just being honest. 

"Okay, well I'm not sorry that you're not seeing that scumbag anymore," he replies, and you can’t help but huff an amused breath through your nose at his candour. "But I am sorry for being an asshole,” he finishes. 

Then, his tone drops right back into that gentleness as he wipes the tears from your face once more. 

"And I'm sorry for making you cry.”

There’s a million things you could say to that, but none of them will really solve anything, so instead you just sniff once and shrug your shoulders the best you can whilst lying on your side, arms still wrapped tightly around your pillow. 

Besides, it wouldn’t be very accurate to say that you’re crying because of anything Silco said, or even because of Seven. 

If anything, if you really think about it, you’re mostly upset because you have a sneaking suspicion you’re in love with your best friend, and if that wasn’t confusing and overwhelming as it is, then you don’t even want to consider what would happen if he didn’t feel the same…

Oh, gods, what if he doesn’t feel the same?

Your expression crumples at the thought of Silco rejecting you, so you shove your face into your pillow as a fresh wave of sobs break through you. 

At this, Silco makes an upset noise from above you, lifting the covers and shuffling to lie next to you in bed. 

He wraps his arms around you, but with the pillow squishing between your bodies it just feels ridiculous, so you tug the pillow from your front and throw it over his shoulder, off the bed, closing the gap to hug him properly.

Silco’s arms engulf you like a lock fitting in a key, your face pressed into his sternum as your arms hug tight around his waist whilst he holds you to his body, one hand cradling the back of your head whilst the other strokes soothingly up and down your back. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispers into your hair. "I'm really sorry." 

It takes a few more moments for you to stop sobbing, but you force yourself to push through it. You have to let him know that this isn’t what he thinks it is. 

"It's fine, Silco," you say through gulps of air. "I… I didn't really like him anyway." 

"You didn't?" he says, just a little bit too far on the side of hopeful as he delicately threads his fingers into your hair. 

"No. He was a dick,” you say bluntly. "And he… sometimes made me feel kind of uncomfortable.”

Part of you feels a little bit foolish for allowing yourself to spend so much time with such an insipid person. But this was only your first foray into the world of dating. Who can blame you for hoping it would all get better with time? 

Silco stiffens in your arms, pulling back just enough so that he can look you in the eye. 

"He what?" 

You're genuinely surprised at the venom in his tone. 

"I'm going to fucking kill him," he seethes, fingers tightening ever-so-slightly until he’s gripping the back of your shirt in his fingers. "Did he hurt you?" 

"No, no, nothing like that.” You’re quick to reassure him before he gets the wrong idea. "I just didn't really like it when he tried to kiss me or hold my hand. He was just a bit… I don’t know… gross?"

Silco calms down marginally, to your relief, but a layer of hurt still resides. 

"I can still kill him," he offers darkly. 

"Shut up, you idiot," you chide, but find yourself helpless to the smile that tugs at your lips. 

You pull him back into a proper hug to hide it. Honestly, the last thing this ridiculous boy needs is to be encouraged.

It’s comfortably quiet for a few minutes, and Silco returns to gently carding his fingers through your hair. This is how everything should be. This is how it should feel. 

"Do you think it was my fault?" you blurt out, entirely against your will. 

"What? No. None of it was your fault," Silco insists. "He was the one who messed you about." 

"No, not that, I mean…" you begin, trailing off until you can put it into words. "I just mean, it didn't feel like what I thought a relationship should feel like, you know?" 

Silco shuffles back slightly, close enough that you’re still holding onto one another, but far enough so that he can lay his head on the one remaining pillow you’re currently sharing. 

From here, you can see his emotion-tired expression, faces close like when you were little and Sil would climb into your bed after a particularly harrowing nightmare, telling you stories and nonsense ramblings until you eventually felt safe enough to go back to sleep. 

Except now, there’s something more. Something charged, connecting you in a way that is much deeper and much more rousing than when you were children. 

"How should it feel?" he asks, voice low. 

"I don't know…" you say, considering. "I think… I think you should feel comfortable with your partner, and not nervous all the time." 

He nods, ink hair slowly becoming messier against the pillow. 

"Like you're at home with them," Silco adds. 

"Yeah," you reply, surprised he understands you so well. "And you should want to be around them, not wishing they’d just leave you alone."

The little smile he gives spurs you on. 

"And- and when you kiss, it should feel like nothing or no-one else in the world exists in that moment. Like the only thing that matters is you and them."

Silco carefully tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, the pads of his fingers trailing softly down your jaw, as he looks at you in a way no-one ever has before.

"And you didn't feel any of that with him?" 

A brief pause, as you genuinely, truly contemplate it. 

"No." 

But I did with you. 

"Well, then. He clearly didn't deserve you if he didn’t make you feel any of that," Silco decides, with an air of finality. Like he’s putting Seven to rest. Done and dusted. 

“Yeah, I guess…” you say, cheeks burning a little pink at the compliment. It was probably unintentional, knowing Silco. 

But then, he says your name, expression turned serious, almost startlingly so. 

“Yeah?” you ask, slowly and nervously. 

Silco’s mouth opens for a moment before it falls shut again and he draws you into his embrace once more, hiding his face against the side of your neck. His warm breath tickles your skin and you can’t help but feel that this hug means something, something more than the previous ones did. 

You’re too scared of accidentally ruining the moment to ask.

The two of you lay in each other’s arms for a long while, long enough that you completely forget about the cup of tea steadily cooling on the bedside cabinet. Long enough that you slowly drift to sleep in his warmth, exhausted but for the first time in a long time, comfortable. 

Maybe if you can find a way to stay like this forever, everything will turn out alright. 

-

a/n: there’s no unrequited love in this house by the way, all will be well, reader’s just going through it a bit at the moment… and we would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for them meddling emotions!!!

-

super secret taglist 🤠: @oceansssblue , @inolaphoenix , @holographicgarden , @darlingimafangirl , @rainyforest777 , @kikiiswashere , @deviantgamergirl , @miffysoo , @eternallyvenus , @forcrybaby , @laurazuko6 , @kakashiislut , @aws4blood

[wizlizbelle3]

My void success story and the only post you will ever need.

Hello everyone. Before I begin, I just want to inform everyone that I will not be answering any dms moving forward. I might not even come back to the app. Not because I don't want to help people, but because I have realized that being on this app made me sink into negativity. People constantly affirming negativity and dumping it on other people, drama with who's fake and who isn't, bots spamming asks, people wanting me to tell them everything I've already written in simpler words. It's too much. I know it's hard for you to get through your situation. I know you want what you want now. So use this post and stick to it because it is the LAST thing you will ever need.

I began my void journey a while ago and did literally everything you could possibly imagine. Here are the things I tried:

affirming 10,000 times

affirming 60,000 times

lullaby method

sats

mental diet

self concept

meditation

psyche-k

silva method

monroe method

neville's method

and more

None of it worked until recently. Just to clarify, that the one thing that finally pushed me into the void was SATS but I realized that everything I had been doing was crap because I was not doing it correctly.

So I was on reddit and I saw a success story of how this woman manifested what she wanted before her specific desired date, So I gave myself 20 days or so and wrote down a specific date. I persisted, affirmed and did everything to stay positive and asked the universe to give me signs and show me things. Listened to like 17 subliminals at the same time on my computer for hours. And guess what? When that day came, I did not wake up in the void state. I cried and was really upset because there are people out here who want to hurt others and they get into the void easily. So why not me?

I finally decided on that same morning after I finished crying that I was not going to be a p*ssy and will get exactly what I want, when I want it, how I want it, and get into the void state easily. I did not affirm this to myself. I wrote it down as a letter to my higher self. I was done waiting and I told my higher self and the universe that I am done waiting. What exactly is the problem? Why can I specifically not get what I want? Am i really that bad of a person?

No, I was just weak and I victimized myself for absolutely no reason. I don't care what the 3D shows me. Why would any of that affect me? I feel so stupid for acting like the negativity and nonsense that people around me spewed was actually supposed to affect me???? NO!.

I came across this video by manifesting with missy renee and in the video she said that most people don't do sats correctly and I completely agree with it. You are supposed to wait until you're groggy and actually in a trance. I kept stressing in all my previous posts that you're supposed to do this and that and none of you got it and neither did I. We were all stupid (some of you still are for pretending you don't understand). So the correct way to do SATS is:

get into a position where you don't usually sleep

RELAXXXXXXX. Do anything to make yourself relaxed and this can very well take up to 20-30 minutes. Stop acting like that's a bad thing.

When you are in SATS, your scene should come in easy. You don't have to stress it. If you have to strain to put your scene together, you are not in SATS.

So that's what I did. I think i used a meditation by Life by Lucie. I used one where the timing was good for me. Also, in that same day I used hypnodaddy's clear negative and get rid of victim mentality subliminals. I also used high frequency guru's void state video. Not because I wanted the subliminals to take me to the void. Just because I WANTED.

I'm telling you, you have to be aggressive as hell. So I did SATS, I was confident that I will wake up in the void, and then I did. I manifested my void list and i made the list because I didn't want to affirm for every single thing.

You have to have enough. That's the key. You have to put your foot down and say WTAF is this???? randoms keep getting into the void but not me??? NO NO NO NO NO

And do not ask me how to relax. I've made so many posts on SATS and it's hurtful that you guys ignore it so hard.

You wanna cry because it didn't happen? fine cry. Then go back to being aggressive. Use your pissed off state to be confident that you'll get what you want.

And your sats scene can be what feels good to you in that moment. It WILL come to you. Period. I'll answer questions ONLY IN THE COMMENTS. don't be shy. but I cannot go through the mental torture of being trauma dumped. Everybody's got their own thing and you're not going to get into the void if you tell your sorrows to people. You're going to get into the void when you decide you will. It's that easy. Im linking some stuff below, use it if you want. I really hope you get the message I'm trying to send here.

NO tags because this will find you at the right moment in your life.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 7

Summary: Arriving to work late is rough when a surprise visit from both Negan and Daryl interrupts an already hectic day for Y/N.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Guy (OC), Jordyn, Maggie, Daryl Dixon, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/161820370

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, etc.

Notes: I am sorry it takes so long for me to update these days. Real life has been so busy, but I'm doing my best. Thanks to those that read! If you want to read the other chapters, be sure to check them out here.

Being late was never something that Y/N was. Since she took this job under Maggie four years ago, she had always been to work early. However, today she found herself waking up long after her alarm went off. Sleeping through her alarm clock was not something that she had done in a very long time. Showing up late to work was not something that was on her checklist of things to do after Guy offered her that brand new position at Vixen. Originally, she planned to be just like she was before. Dedicated to her job and hard working. So when she woke up this morning, she panicked. What she wanted to do was make a good first impression. Starting her new job off like this was the last thing she wanted. Instead, she ended up showing up to work almost two hours late.

Getting ready was rough since she was anxious as it was. Everything felt like an obstacle this morning. No doubt Maggie would be upset with her for being late. This was the first time she ever had been, but since she had been pissing Maggie off over the last few days she knew that it would be bad. And then it made her wonder if Guy would have told Maggie about her promotion. With her being late, that would be enough ammunition for Maggie to try to convince Guy to go back on his decision.

Rushing to work just made things harder. Trying to get into the doors of the building was extraordinarily complicated because she had her arms full. The fact she was able to get into the building was an accomplishment in itself. Scrambling into the building, all she could think about was how Guy had offered her this brand-new position and she had already fucked up.

“Hey!” a raspy voice called out from behind her in the empty lobby of the building. Hearing it had her jumping since she wasn’t expecting it. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw Negan pulling himself up from the same seat he was sitting in last night. Scrambling to get to her, Negan pointed to everything that she was attempting to carry. “Let me help you with that.”

Frustration flooded her veins. Now Negan was showing up at her work in the morning waiting for her. With everything going on this morning already, dealing with Negan was not something that she was ready for. Especially since she had so much going on already.

Instead of waiting for her answer, Negan was reaching for some of the things that were in her arms and he flashed her a big smile, “Did you carry all of this here on your own?”

“Yeah,” she didn’t know how to respond, her throat going dry. What the hell could she say to Negan? Waiting for her at the end of the workday was one thing, but showing up in the morning was another. “Negan, what the hell are you doing here? You can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?” Negan tipped his head to the side, completely oblivious to what she was hinting. Then again, by the big cheesy smile that slowly tugged at his features, it made her wonder if he knew what he was doing and this was purposeful. “Helping you?”

“You know what I’m saying to you,” she scoffed, taking a quick look around the lobby noticing that it was completely empty except for the employee that was sitting at the front desk. Adjusting the items that she had in her arms, she was actually thankful that Negan managed to help her because she was certain she would have dropped something if he hadn’t. “Were you really just sitting there for the last two hours waiting for me?”

“Well, I wasn’t sitting there the whole time, but…kinda?” Negan bobbed his head about, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when she released a stressed sound. Turning on her heel, she started to head for the elevators knowing that she couldn’t do this right now. Especially since she was already so late. The sound of Negan following her not far behind was heard and she very much expected that. “Fuck, you really aren’t in the mood to talk, are you?”

“Not really, no,” she was blunt, huffing out when Negan ran into her from behind in his quickness to follow her as she came to a stop at the elevators.

“Fuck, sorry,” Negan apologized managing to reposition the items he took from her so he could carry them under one arm. “Listen, I didn’t think you’d run off last night. I thought you’d let me walk you home and we could talk.”

“If I let you walk me home and we talked, we’d probably just end up having sex,” she noted under her breath realizing that what they did last night in the restaurant wasn’t right as it was. Taking a look around, she was happy that no one else was there to hear her. “And that would have gotten us nowhere. You know I’m right.”

“Well…” Negan paused, a crack of a smile tugging at his tired features. Tipping his head from side to side, his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he sighed. “Touché.”

Silence surrounded them and she found herself condemning the elevator for always taking this long, “I just didn’t like the idea of you running off upset. And then when you didn’t show up to work on time this morning, I panicked.”

“I just slept in Negan. I haven’t slept well in days,” she reasoned with him, her chest heavy at the idea of everything that was bothering her. “You could have just texted me, showing up here is not going to do anything right now.”

“You told me last night that doing things through text was wrong,” Negan mentioned what she had said when he went to break up with Maggie through text message when she was upset with the idea of him still dating Maggie. “Ever since the day of the event, I haven’t been able to sleep much because all I think about is you.”

Dropping her head down, she tensed up at the idea and there were still a lot of things running through her mind. Why now when he had so many years previously when he could have done this?

“Are you a moron?” she hissed out eliciting a confused expression from Negan. An uncomfortable laugh escaped his lips before he let out an amused sound. “I’m serious. I’ve been fawning over you for eight years. Eight years, I’ve wanted you to be in love with me. And for eight years, nothing. I finally tell you how things are and now I can’t get you to leave me alone. So it’s a genuine question. Are you a moron because anyone with half a brain could see that I was in love with you. Did it really take me physically telling you that I felt that way for you to realize there was something here?”

“Well, when you put it like that and shit…” Negan considered her question, waving his free hand about and letting out a huff. “Then yeah, I guess I am. I’m a man. We’re not exactly the brightest. It’s a horrible excuse, but sometimes we let our smaller brain lead our decisions. Unless we’re not directly told something, we don’t always pick up on the subtle hints.”

“That’s an awful excuse,” she snorted, shaking her head in response. After a moment, she realized that there was something missing when it came to Negan. “Where is Jordyn?”

“She’s been in the office,” Negan pointed upwards, educating her on the whereabouts of his daughter. How simply he put it made it seem like it was no big deal. “She’s been with that lady that she really likes at the office. The one that’s always been nice to her.”

“I’m sure Maggie is thrilled about that,” she muttered under her breath, clutching tightly to her things when she reached to push the button of the elevator a few more times. There was no reason for it to be taking this long. Especially since no one was lined up for it. “You know, I am enjoying that I get to see you more. I’d be lying if I said otherwise, but you can’t keep showing up at my work like this. You’re going to get me fired if this keeps happening.”

“And?” Negan countered, getting a glare in response that had him throwing his free hand up in defense. “I’m just saying Y/N, if they fired you, I have that job that I offered you the other day. If you didn’t have a job, I would take care of you. So it’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s a big deal,” she hated the idea that a job that was important to her could be blown off like that. But then again, last night she hadn’t told him about being offered the position and accepting it, so it only made sense that Negan would honestly think that way. Right now was definitely not the time for that discussion to come up. “You haven’t told me why you are here.”

“You know why,” Negan frowned, exhaling loudly when he moved beside her to rest his shoulder against the wall. “I’d like to think that you were thinking about me as much as I was thinking about you.”

“I’ve been thinking about you since the day I met you Negan,” she responded knowing that sounded really pathetic. And truthfully? It was.

“So, with last night…” Negan started, using his free hand to reach up and rub at the back of his head. “Did you uh…did you like what I did?”

“I don’t know why you’re asking me that,” she whispered, her chest aching at the thought of what he was undoubtedly bringing up. A lot of her night was spent condemning herself for letting it happen, but another part of her thoroughly enjoyed it. And that made her feel like a terrible person. “Obviously, I liked it. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have…you know.”

“And you like my cock?” Negan’s eyebrow arched in curiosity, his dimples sinking in with an amused rumble falling from his throat with her face flushing over. “The size of it and everything.”

“Is this where you want me to praise you and stroke your ego?” she inquired, her eyes narrowing and by Negan’s expression, she knew that he was longing for it. “Yes Negan, you have a nice cock and you’re good with your mouth. Do you feel better now?”

A smirk tugged at his handsome features and he shrugged his shoulders before clearing his throat, “I also think you’re great with your mouth and I can’t stop thinking about being inside of you. It’s all I can think about. I can’t tell you how much I’ve jerked off in the last few days because of it.”

“Negan, this is all happening really fast and it’s happening at a very complicated time in both of our lives,” she hinted to him, having a hard time looking at him. Because hearing him say something like that had her body heating up with a fire flooding through her veins, but at the same time she knew that the timing was horrible. Right now was really not the time or place for this. “I have always loved spending time with you Negan and in different circumstances, I might really enjoy this conversation, but we’re at my work.”

“I realize that,” Negan huffed following her onto the elevator when it opened. “But there is something going on between us and I just, I don’t want you mad at me. And I really wanna work things out with us. I think the two of us can make things work.”

“Did you break up with Maggie?” she wondered causing Negan’s hopeful expression to leave him and it was replaced with tension. “Yeah, that face is a no. Which tells me you are still dating Maggie and the things that we need to talk about, we can’t.”

“I haven’t talked to Maggie yet. I went home and I told you she was doing something with her family. We didn’t even text or talk last night,” Negan declared, adjusting her items in his arms and he scoffed. “I just wanted to talk to you because I’m fucking upset that you might be angry with me.”

“I’m angry at myself,” she announced, swallowing down hard and staring out at him with an uneasy expression. “You’re still a taken man. You have been for four years. And I very much have a hard time denying you because of how I feel about you. What I’ve done? It’s unforgiveable.”

“It’s not when it’s the person you love,” Negan suggested drawing out a disgusted breath from her throat. “I don’t mean it to sound as bad as it does, but you’ve loved me for such a long time. It should have been you that I ended up with in the first place.”

“But I wasn’t,” she stated clearly what was factual, even if Negan didn’t like to hear it. “It was Maggie. And we can’t go back and change things. You made your decision. It was Maggie. Not me.”

“But now I’m picking you,” Negan insinuated, his head shaking when she looked to the floors that they were going up.

“Who said I even want you to pick me?” she snapped at Negan under her breath as someone else got onto the elevator with them. A dramatic exhale escaped Negan, his thick eyebrows furrowing with him turning toward her. “Maybe I don’t want you anymore.”

“You don’t?” he whispered and it looked like she had just kicked him in the gut. That wasn’t exactly the response she was expecting from him. Especially since he was the one that was dating someone. “But what happened in your apartment and at the bar…”

“They were mistakes,” she insisted, her chest aching at the look that Negan was giving her. “Things we shouldn’t have done. Things that were very wrong.”

“It can’t be wrong when something like that feels so right,” Negan countered and by the body language of the person on the elevator with them, she knew that they had an idea what they were talking about. “It’s not just the sexual stuff either.”

A warmth flooded into her face since they weren’t the only people on that elevator, “it’s the fact that my eyes have been opened to what was really going on. I was taken advantage of. You were treated like shit. And we were purposely kept apart by someone who just wanted to fuck with you and used me to do it.”

“This is a complicated conversation for another time,” she thought aloud noticing that the person in front of them was turning a light shade of red. Having Negan acknowledging that Maggie was using him was something she was surprised to hear, but it wasn’t something that should have been talked about around strangers that worked in the same building as her. “There is a lot to process between the both of us. I know that for sure.”

Thankfully the stranger got off the elevator. Honestly? They pretty much rushed off the elevator once they got to their floor. The moment the elevator doors closed, she felt Negan’s hand reaching out to grasp at her chin. Getting her to turn toward him, Negan’s mouth covered hers in a hungry kiss. Even if she wanted to fight him back, her arms were so full that she couldn’t. But then again? She wasn’t fighting it.

When the door opened again for the elevator, Negan was the one that tipped back leaving her breathless and realizing that it was her floor. Shakily moving out of the elevator, she had Negan following her not far behind. Leaving things like that had her body tremoring with her heart hammering inside of her chest. Negan knew what he was doing to her and he did it well. On her way to Maggie’s office, she managed to take a quick look inside of Guy’s office to see that he was inside talking to someone. When he spotted her, he stood up straight and waved.

Just tipping her head, she acknowledged him, but that didn’t seem to be enough as Guy rushed around the person he was with. A moment later she watched him hit the ground hard after his foot caught the table. Immediately she stopped which had Negan running into her from behind.

“What happened?” Negan looked toward Guy’s office watching Guy pop up from the ground that he had fallen to. Fixing his hair and then his shirt, Guy flashed the person he was with a nervous smile. Without saying anything else, Guy pointed toward the glass door and was swift to pull it open.

“I can’t help but notice that you’re late,” Guy’s dark eyes narrowed giving her a big cheesy smile when he blatantly nodded his head toward Negan as he headed over toward them. “Did you do what I said you should do?”

“Why is he nodding toward me like that?” Negan felt awkward with how obvious Guy was being in the moment. With the three of them standing there, everything was silent between them. Both Guy and Negan were staring out at her, both of them expecting answers from her. “Is this about me?”

Well this was awkward. Guy was asking her if she had sex with Negan and Negan was obviously picking up on it. Pointing to Guy first, she felt hot with his eyebrows bouncing up, “No to you,” she answered Guy who frowned and then when she pointed toward Negan he let out a nervous sound, “And yes to you.”

“I’m confused,” Negan announced, his eyes narrowing when he looked to Guy. “Were the two of you talking about me?”

“Why wouldn’t she be talking about you?” Guy responded making Negan smile and look to her with a tip of his head. Guy gave Negan a scrutinizing look with how he was gazing upon Y/N and Guy huffed when he returned his attention back to Y/N. “Why do I feel like you’re lying to me?”

“Where have you been?” Maggie snapped at Y/N when the sound of her door being open distracted all of them. This was the first time that Y/N found herself thankful that Maggie was there to interrupt something. “You’re hours late and I’m running incredibly behind.”

“Good morning to you too,” Y/N moved around Maggie, rushing into the office. Both men were following her not far behind. Setting the things down that were in her arms, Negan moved in beside her and carefully put down what he had carried for her. Turning to face Maggie, she let out a tense breath with Guy standing behind Maggie. Without Maggie noticing, Guy pointed between both Negan and Y/N. After he did, he made a circle shape with one hand and used the other hand to make a lewd gesture. From what he was doing, she knew that he was asking if she had sex with Negan again. The bad thing? Negan saw it too. With an amused expression, Negan pointed between the two of them and it seemed to excite Guy that Negan was interacting with his question. Holding his hand out, Negan wiggled it from side to side which had excitement flooding into Guy’s features. Maggie was waiting for an answer from Y/N while Guy continued to have a silent conversation with Negan now from behind Maggie. When Guy made a blowjob gesture with his hand and mouth it had her wanting to die on the spot. Instead of seemingly being offended Negan smirked and nodded his head once showing a sense of arrogance with him answering. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?” Maggie asked looking over her shoulder at Guy who immediately stopped doing what he was to act like he was brushing his fingers through his hair. With Maggie turned away, Y/N smacked at the center of Negan’s chest with the back of her hand having Negan dramatically throwing his hands up in the air. “Why are all three of you acting so weird? And Negan…? Why are you here?”

“Oh,” Negan didn’t know what to say, his face hot with amusement that Y/N was so embarrassed with what him and Guy had just done. There was a look in Y/N’s eyes that showed she was nervous with Negan’s expression becoming determined. “Actually Maggie, there is something that I need to talk to you about.”

“Not here you don’t,” she stressed to Negan, placing her hand in over the center of his chest trying to get him to leave.  

“Yeah, yes I do,” Negan didn’t seem to agree with her, fumbling with her hands to get her to stop trying to force him out. By everything that was going on, there was an obvious excitement growing inside of Guy. He was just happy to be there in that moment. Dramatically moving over toward the couch in Maggie’s room, Guy lowered down and sat at the edge. His brown eyes were locked on them. Moving around Y/N, Negan motioned Maggie to take a seat at her desk. Feeling like the world was spinning around her, Y/N headed over to the couch to take a seat next to Guy. Burying her head into her hands, she felt Guy nudge her and she gradually lifted her head up. “I think we both can agree that things have been kinda different over the last few weeks between us.”

“So you gave him a blowjob?” Guy questioned, lifting his hand just enough to hide from Maggie what he was saying while whispering. Glaring at Guy, she tried to hush him. There was color flooding into her face and she wished she was somewhere else. “Did you like it? How big is it? Did he go down on you? Was he any good?”

“Not here,” she stressed to him, her face tensing up realizing that Maggie had noticed the two of them whispering and bickering with one another. Waving her hand about Y/N acted like it was no big deal with Guy snickering. Lazily dragging himself back, Guy got comfortable on the couch and wrapped his arm around the back of it. With the other, he brushed his fingers through his dark hair and sighed.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about how the last few weeks have been different for us,” Maggie spoke louder drawing both Guy and Y/N to look at her while Negan and Maggie interacted. “I know things get very busy during the holidays both here and in our lives.”

“It’s not just that,” Negan interrupted Maggie, his hands raising trying to get a moment to speak even though it seemed like Maggie wanted to take over the conversation. “I just don’t think the two of us are really like we used to be.”

“Oh, you must be good,” Guy turned toward Y/N, whispering in her ear when he picked up on the fact that Negan was attempting to break up with Maggie. “You blow him once and he wants to dump her on the spot.”

“Knock it off,” she begged of him, pushing him slightly away from her with Guy sucking down on his bottom lip.

“I’ve been slacking, I know,” Maggie reasoned with Negan and it was obvious that she was distracted with both Guy and Y/N being there. She didn’t like it, but Y/N also knew that Maggie was irritated that Guy was so relaxed with Y/N at this point. “And you’re probably upset about tonight. You wanted me to go to that dinner with your parents and I never really gave you an answer…”

“Dinner with my parents?” Negan thought aloud. A moment later realization seemingly struck when he lifted his hand and pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Right, we’re supposed to meet my parents for dinner tonight.”

“Well, tonight I have something I have to do for work,” Maggie announced with Negan scoffing at the idea of it, dropping his hand down at his side. “But after tonight, I think we should really focus on us honey. The two of us can just spend every night after work together. Do things for Christmas like you like to do.”

“You have something to do for work?” Guy called out, crossing his legs with his expressive eyebrows bouncing up. “Really? What is it that you have to do? Because I’m unaware of any meetings going on.”

“That’s because one of our clients called me this morning to change the date,” Maggie was quick to excuse what she was saying with Guy’s face twisting in confusion. “So I’m having dinner with them tonight instead and…”

“Really?” Guy feigned being surprised placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “Which client was that? Because I should probably make sure that I make a note of it in the calendars.”

“We’ll do that later,” Maggie insisted, waving her hand about to silence Guy who gave an amused wrinkle of his nose with the way that Y/N was staring out at him. “Regardless Negan, I think we should start focusing on us more.”

“And that’s what I want to focus on for a minute,” Negan asserted, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. Stretching out his fingers, Negan cleared his throat and shook his head. “I’ve been thinking a lot about things and…”

“You know what?” Maggie interrupted him, throwing her finger up in the air to motion him to stop speaking for a second. “I know it’s early, but since it’s close to Christmas, to show you how much I look forward to spending time with you, I think I should give you one of these.”

“Maggie, come on,” Negan slurred, throwing his hand up in the air again frustrated when she headed over toward a filing cabinet that she had. When she opened the bottom drawer it had Y/N scoffing out when she realized what Maggie was going for. Presents that Y/N had previously bought for the people in Maggie’s life. Presents that Maggie had never even seen nor wrapped. After digging around, she pulled out one of the presents and pushed the door closed. Heading over to Negan, she held it out toward him and it had Negan sucking in a sharp breath of air. “What’s this?”

“A Christmas present,” Maggie pushed the wrapped present in closer toward Negan who swallowed down hard when he looked at it. “Go ahead. Open it.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea,” Negan suggested going to set it down, but Maggie instead grabbed the present. She unwrapped it herself and shoved it toward Negan who looked down at the box. Huffing out, Negan pulled open the box and his face twisted with an emotion they couldn’t read. Reaching for the pocket watch that was inside, Negan gazed upon it and let out a trembling breath when he dragged his thumb down over the front of it.

“Do you like it?” Maggie was curious drawing out an anger from Y/N who tried to keep her mouth shut. “It was made specifically for you.”

“Yeah. It’s beautiful,” Negan looked at the engraving over the front that had a compass with a butterfly at the center of it. “It’s a very thoughtful gift Maggie.��

“Yeah, wow…” Y/N stood up from the couch in beside Negan to place her hand in under his. Looking over the pocket watch, she cleared her throat. Out of the corner of her eye she could tell that it looked like Guy was having the time of his life watching them. “Where did you get this done?”

Glaring out at Y/N, Maggie looked furious. There was no way that Maggie knew where it was from because Maggie had nothing to do with it, “I just think this is such a nice design that maybe I would be willing to do one myself for someone.”

“I don’t uh…I don’t really remember the name of it,” Maggie lied, her green eyes locked on Y/N’s when Y/N gave a firm nod. “I’ll get back to you with it.”

“And of course you know the meaning behind this, right?” Y/N confirmed knowing that before Christmas she would often go through a rundown of the things that she had bought people for Maggie. What they meant to them and anything of that sort. This one? Maggie would certainly have no fucking clue what it was for.

“Y/N?” Negan breathed out, his eyes narrowing with him staring down at her with confusion. Yeah, this was petty of her and she knew that, but it was clear that Maggie picked up on the fact that Negan was going to try to break up with her. So she was using the present as a way to guilt him into not doing it. It would be one thing if it was an actual gift that Maggie got for Negan herself, but since it was one that Y/N had gotten for Negan, it really pissed her off.

“I’m just curious what the story behind it is,” she didn’t care if this made anyone feel uncomfortable because it had been too long that Maggie got away with taking advantage of things. “I’m sure you know it’s a nod to Negan’s father with the compass and the butterfly, right?”

There was a silence between them. Even Negan’s eyes were locked on Maggie waiting for her answer and it made Maggie feel on the spot, “Of course I know it’s something to do with his father. I’m the one that got it for him after all.”

A long exhale escaped Negan’s throat and he stood there for a moment longer. Lowering his stare down to the pocket watch, Negan closed the box back up and lowered it down to set it on the corner of the desk, “Negan?”

What Maggie didn’t know is that it had nothing to do with Negan’s father and everything to do with Jordyn. So her answer only proved to Negan that she didn’t have anything to do with that present and he was visibly disappointed with her.

“We really need to talk,” Negan whispered to Maggie only to be interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Looking back over his shoulder, Negan scoffed when he saw Daryl standing at the door of Maggie’s office. “What the fuck?”

“Hey,” Daryl grunted, a sense of awkwardness flooding through him at the sight of everyone standing around looking so tense. All eyes were on him and it was a different array of emotions. Negan looked frustrated. Maggie was angry. Y/N was surprised and Guy was genuinely curious. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything here.”

“Oh no,” Guy could tell that Daryl meant something to Y/N with the way she was staring out at him. And that only intrigued him more. “We’re not really going through anything too intense here. Who are you?”

“Daryl,” he said bluntly as if Guy would know who he was. Daryl’s blue eyes locked with Y/N’s and he could sense that she was uncomfortable. Pointing between him and Y/N, Daryl didn’t bother to look at Guy when he spoke. “I’m a friend of Y/N’s. I was just dropping off something for her that I thought she would like to have.”

Right now? She didn’t hate the idea of having Daryl interrupt things. It was awkward enough as it was being between Negan and Maggie. Things had gone south and Daryl offered up an escape from all of this. Moving forward, she grabbed a hold of Daryl’s arm and motioned him to follow her out in the hallway. If Negan was really going through with dumping Maggie, her nor Guy should have been in that office. It was something that should have been done alone. And after the ass she made of herself to prove that Maggie was a liar? Y/N didn’t think she should be around if Negan did indeed break up with Maggie because it would be partially her fault and enrage Maggie.

Daryl stumbled to keep up with her when she took him to the lobby area of the office. From where she was standing, she could see that Guy was straining his neck to watch her with Daryl. Occasionally he seemed to steal a quick look back at Negan and Maggie, but it seemed like Guy couldn’t decide who he wanted to pay attention to more.

“What’d I just walk into?” Daryl snickered, pointing back toward the office where Guy was still very much watching the two of them together. “Everyone looked like they were gonna shit themselves.”

“I…I don’t know,” she lied, waving her hand about trying to get Daryl to give his attention back to her instead. As of the last few days, she really hadn’t kept up with Daryl about the things going on in her life and she figured he would be upset if he knew that Negan was attempting to break up with Maggie for her. “What are you doing here? You never come here to see me at work.”

“Oh,” Daryl pointed down toward the bag that was on his arm. “I finished that painting you paid me for. I was supposed to give it to you tonight, but plans came up. I can’t hang out. So I brought it here. In case you needed it.”

“You have plans?” she repeated, amused to hear that since Daryl never seemed to be someone who had something to do. The whole time she knew Daryl, he was a loner. For the longest time she thought she was his only friend. “Since when?”

“Oh, haha,” Daryl rolled his eyes, shaking his head and brushing his hair over his shoulder. Avoiding her question about plans was odd for Daryl. Having him be vague with her was not normal for him. “I think you’ll like the painting.”

Reaching for the bag, she gave him a weak smile and stepped forward to wrap her arm loosely around him to pull him in for a hug. Uncomfortably hugging her back, Daryl didn’t seem to know what to do when she released an overwhelmed breath.

“What’s wrong?” Daryl questioned, leaning back enough to stare down at her with his blue eyes. That was the kind of relationship she had with Daryl. Now, he could realize when something was wrong by the way she was breathing. That was both a good and bad thing. “I can tell something ain’t right.”

“I’m just overwhelmed. These last few days have been intense,” she explained and it had Daryl’s face scrunching up since he expected more from her. “It’s just been a crazy time here. One thing after another keeps happening and I’m doing my best to keep up with everything. You only know a small bit of what has happened.”

“There’s more? Since I was at your apartment?” Daryl questioned, folding his arms out in front of his chest when he rocked back and forth on his feet. “What’s up? You always tell me things.”

“It’s just been…busy and I’ve been lacking sleep,” she made an excuse that she knew wasn’t a good one. This really wasn’t like her friendship with Daryl. Most of the time she told him everything, that’s how they had grown so close. “Yesterday, Guy offered me an official position. One like Maggie had when she first started working here. At the beginning of the year, I will have my own office and everything. Today he was supposed to up my pay. He had me work one-on-one with him the other day and I guess he started to see my talent.”

“Huh?” Daryl scoffed, his face scrunching up in disbelief. There was a disgust that flooded into his features and he dramatically shook his head. “You’re not that ignorant, right?”

“I’m sorry?” she didn’t know how to respond because that kind of blunt response was not what she was expecting. “I don’t…”

“You can’t believe that shit, right?” Daryl snorted, his hands dropping down at his sides when he shook his head. Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Guy had pulled himself up from the couch to sit on the arm of it to watch them when he noticed the body language changing between her and Daryl. There was no hiding that Guy was snooping on them together. “I thought we both agreed that this company was bad for you.”

“Well, yeah…” she paused to consider what Daryl was saying and she cleared her throat. “It took something ridiculous to get Guy to notice me, but…”

“Did you fuck him?” Daryl interrupted her, surprising her with the venom that was added to his tone when he asked her. “That how you got your job offer?”

“No, of course not,” she responded, her throat growing dry that he would even think that she would let that happen. “We just worked together the other day and he was impressed with what I was doing. About my knowledge of things and he offered me the job.”

“What about Carol?” Daryl reminded her of the offer he had for her with leaving this company to go to a rival one where someone he used to date worked and was in charge.

“I considered it,” she reasoned with Daryl feeling guilty with the way that Daryl was gazing upon her like she had done something horribly wrong. “You know that I wanted to make it on my own Daryl. And while I appreciated you wanting to help me with Carol, I was never comfortable having you hook me up with someone that you slept with when you were younger.”

“How are you making it on your own when Vixen only hired you because he wants to fuck you?” Daryl snapped at her causing a lump to develop in her throat. This was a feeling that she wasn’t used to with Daryl. “You’ve been here for four years and you got squat. But now you are okay with getting the intro job that Maggie got when she started? Does he know that you have been doing Maggie’s job since the moment she got here?”

“No, I haven’t said anything…” she swallowed down hard with that question. Even though she was angry with Maggie, she still didn’t have the want to get Maggie completely fired. Because there was still that promise that she made to Hershel years ago to take care of Maggie. “I thought maybe this was my chance to make a name for myself.”

“And when he finally has sex with you, then what?” Daryl threw his hands up, his brow line creasing as he waited for her to answer. “You’re putting everything on the line for a guy that just wants to have sex with you. He’s pulling out all the stops. You’re a game for him. Something he can’t have so he wants it. When you finally give it to him, he is going to spit you up and throw you out.”

“And what makes you think I’ll sleep with him?” she retorted, almost offended that he wasn’t saying that like it was a possibility. No, he was stressing what he was saying like it was a fact.

“Oh come on. Look at him,” Daryl threw his hand up in the direction of Guy who was now standing at the glass panel walls watching them with his hands pushed into his pockets. When Daryl pointed at Guy, Guy looked over his shoulder to see what Daryl was pointing at, but then realized it was him that Daryl was now directing things toward. “This guy was your fucking hero growing up. You hero worship his ass. And it don’t hurt that he’s pretty too.”

Truthfully? She was offended. How was she going to respond to that?

“He also was fucking Maggie too and you seem to be drawn to men like that,” Daryl slurred, growling as the words left his lips. The expression that flooded over her features showed him that she was hurt by that comment and he dramatically shrugged. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Ouch,” was all she mustered up, lowering her head down to look at the ground. “Obviously you don’t agree with my decision to accept the job position here.”

“No, I don’t,” Daryl answered, throwing his hand up in the direction of the office again. “I thought the idea was to get you away from Maggie. Being here? You’re going to be just as abused if not more. Does Maggie know about this?”

“Not yet,” she admitted, knowing that things would be much worse if Maggie knew the lengths that Guy had gone to get her to agree to the position he was offering her. “We both know that she wouldn’t be this calm if she knew.”

“You do remember that this guy ignored you for four years, right?” Daryl reminded her what had been going on since she started her job here. A warmth flooded into her face feeling like she was being scolded like a child from Daryl. “Guy Vixen is a piece of shit. No matter how much you looked up to him.”

“While I don’t deny that,” she started, but Daryl held his hands up to silence her, scoffing when he looked her over. What could she say to disprove that? Both her and Guy agreed the other day that he was an asshole. “I think Guy and I have an understanding with one another…”

“If you would have just let me help you from the start, you could have had a job for the last four years doing what you love. Sure, it wouldn’t be under your damn hero, but it would have been a job. Where you wouldn’t have been somebody’s slave. You might have actually been successful. Better than Maggie,” Daryl lectured her realizing that he was making her feel bad about everything, but he was just letting things go at this point. “But no, you remained loyal to every asshat in that room. Maggie cus’ of some stupid promise you made to her dad. Guy cus’ you wanted to be exactly like him. And Negan cus’ you were just so damn in love with him. And what has it gotten you?”

“Please stop,” she begged of him, looking around the office noticing that people were hearing them fighting and it made her ill at ease.

“Here, I’ll tell you. Maggie treats you like scum. She ain’t your friend. She never was. And Guy? You’ve been a nobody to him until he decided you were worth a damn cus’ you clean up well. And Negan? Would you like the list of what it’s gotten you? What will it get you?” Daryl continued on, embarrassing her even further when he rolled his eyes at her. “He’ll fuck you, more than he already has. And then when he gets the cake, he won’t need the cow. No cus’ he already has the cow. And he doesn’t want another one. You’re the person people just want to fuck Y/N.”

“What has gotten into you?” she spoke up finally with her voice broken alerting him to the fact that what he was saying was upsetting her. “You really don’t think very highly of me right now. Do you?”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious. Do you really think Guy is gonna give you what you want?” Daryl’s southern drawl dragged out allowing his frustration to shine through. “You’re putting a lot of faith into men that have treated you like shit lately.”

Even though she didn’t like what he was saying, she realized that he was right about her. She knew that she was pathetic with things, but she was actually hopeful that something good could come from this job.

“In that room are two men that have treated you like shit and have taken advantage of your hard work along with your kindness for years,” Daryl repeated what he had already pretty much said to her, pointing again toward the office, but she didn’t need to look. “Now that they both want something from you, you’re allowing it.”

“It’s not that I’m allowing it,” she tried to defend herself, taking a moment to think things over. What exactly could she say to Daryl? The longer Daryl waited for a response from her, the angrier he seemed to get with her.

“Daryl!” the sound of Jordyn’s voice called out, interrupting the two of them. Looking back over his shoulder, Daryl saw Jordyn running up to him and he turned to meet her halfway. Picking her up in his arms, Daryl brought her in closer to his chest with Jordyn wrapping her arms tightly around him to hug him. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too pipsqueak,” Daryl tapped at the tip of Jordyn’s nose causing her to giggle at the nickname he always called her. This was normal for the two of them. Since she had been in Jordyn’s life for so long and she was pretty much Jordyn’s adopted mother, Daryl was very much someone that Jordyn was used to. “Damn, you’ve grown at least a foot since I last saw you.”

“No I haven’t,” Jordyn dropped her head in against Daryl’s shoulder while he worked to keep her safe in his arms. “You saw me like a month ago.”

“And I swear you’ve grown that much since,” Daryl continued to play with Jordyn, his expression becoming very dramatic with the way that he was talking to her. Quickly he was able to put up a front with Jordyn hiding that he was irritated with Y/N rather fast. “You were supposed to come over and finish that painting with me.”

“We have to make time to do that,” Jordyn confessed pulling out a big smile from Daryl which was pretty rare. One of the last times that Y/N had taken Jordyn over to Daryl’s place the two of them painted together and Daryl had given Jordyn her own canvas to paint on. “You got any good stories for me?”

Hearing that from Jordyn made Y/N smile. Daryl was always telling her over the top stories that would make her laugh. A lot of the stories would be something that matched whatever painting Daryl was working on at the time. And Jordyn always got a kick out of them. Before Daryl could respond, voices were heard and they looked to see that everyone had left Maggie’s office. Slowly the group approached them and that just made everything even more uncomfortable.

“Negan and I talked about tonight,” Maggie spoke up, surprising Y/N that she didn’t seem at all upset with whatever was going on. Negan was looking down, his expression distant while Maggie waved her hand about to get Y/N’s attention. “Tonight, you are going to go with Jordyn and Negan to have dinner with his parents.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I have plans,” Daryl whispered under his breath looking to Y/N with his eyes narrowing out at her. That was meant to be a dig at her since they were originally supposed to spend time together tonight until he came here to cancel.

“Since I have that important meeting tonight,” Maggie began making Y/N furious that she was still lying about everything and telling Y/N what she was going to do with her life. “You’re better to go to that than me. I know you love Negan’s parents, so this will give you the opportunity to spend time with them.”

“Maybe I should have been asked first?” she blurt out, looking between Negan and Maggie throwing her hand up in the air. Guy was unhurriedly walking behind the two of them, his big brown eyes wide while he eavesdropped on everything. “I could have had plans for tonight.”

“I think that’s a great idea having you come,” Jordyn spoke up, her voice drawing Y/N to look back at her again. “I would love to go to dinner with you tonight.”

Of course having Jordyn say that meant that she would undoubtedly go because she wasn’t about to tell Jordyn no now that she got the idea in her head. Instead of responding, Y/N just nodded her head and it made Daryl scoff at how easily she crumbled.

“The hell are you doing here?” Maggie scowled when she realized that Daryl was there beside her. It always irritated Maggie whenever Daryl was around because they hated one another and never hid it. And more so it always pissed Maggie off that Jordyn appeared to like Daryl more than she liked Maggie.

“It’s great to see you too sk…” Daryl paused, sucking down on his bottom lip when it struck him that Jordyn was in his arms. “Maggie.”

Stepping forward, Negan pushed his hands into his pockets and was making himself known to Daryl which had Daryl smirking, “Hey there Negan. How are things doing today? Are you a little less stiff than you were the last time I saw you?”

Immediately, color flooded into Negan’s face and the lines in his forehead grew deeper knowing what Daryl was hinting at. Reaching for Jordyn who seemed confused, Y/N pulled Jordyn into her arms making sure to have a good grasp on her when she back stepped away from the group.

“I’m doing great Daryl, it’s so damn nice to see you,” Negan responded, his eyes locking with Daryl’s when he extended his hand out to place it in over Daryl’s shoulder to give it a squeeze. “Thank you for your concern about everything, but I’m doing just fine now. I’m glad to know that you couldn’t get that off your mind. I’m sure you weren’t used to seeing something so big.”

Coughing from behind them, Guy’s brown eyes were big with everyone turning to looking at him. Feigning coughing again, Guy placed his hand in over the center of his chest and winced, “Allergies. They are killer this time of year.”

“When did the two of you see each other last?” Maggie questioned trying to get Negan’s attention with Negan’s hazel eyes still heavily focused on Daryl. “And what are you talking about?”

“A while ago,” Daryl lied, his eyelashes fluttering when he looked toward Maggie who was expecting the answer from Negan. “Negan here had a muscle cramp that he just couldn’t get rid of. And he started a project that he couldn’t finish. A very disappointing one at that.”

“Oh, I could have finished it. And it would have been amazing, but then you showed up,” Negan explained and it had Y/N rolling her eyes. Guy let out another amused sound but tried to turn away from the group to hide it. “You’re pretty good at showing up unannounced.”

“And you’re pretty good at never coming on time,” Daryl responded, tipping his head toward Maggie with a huff. “Or in the right place.”

Realizing that was Daryl’s subtle way of attacking him for sleeping with Maggie, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he sucked in a sharp breath of air, “Now I feel I’ve overstayed my welcome. I have some things to get done before my plans tonight.”

Moving forward, Daryl patted Negan on the stomach with the back of his hand. A scoff escaped Negan’s throat when Daryl’s eyebrows bounced up when he looked at Maggie. Yeah, he wasn’t going to say goodbye to her. Stopping beside Y/N, Daryl placed a faint kiss at her cheek before doing the same with Jordyn. “Don’t forget that painting we have to finish pipsqueak.”

“Bye Daryl,” she waved as he back stepped toward the elevators.

“It was nice to meet you Daryl,” Guy piped in from behind everyone, throwing his hand up having both Negan and Maggie look back over their shoulders at him from where he was standing between them. “He seems like a nice guy.”

“Come on honey, I think we should allow Y/N and Maggie to get to work,” Negan held his hands out for Jordyn to join him, but instead Jordyn frowned. Clinging tighter to Y/N Jordyn shook her head and Negan frowned.

“Can I stay at work with Y/N?” Jordyn asked, hooking her arms tighter around Y/N’s shoulders.

“I don’t know if Mr. Vixen here would be okay with that,” Maggie spoke up, pointing back toward Guy who shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s really busy right now and…”

“Nonsense, she can stay if Negan is okay with it,” Guy interrupted Maggie’s thoughts, stepping forward to make his opinion known. “I actually was still in need of Y/N’s help today and I have a big table in my office. We can set her up at a place and give her something to draw if she’d like. We’ll make sure that she gets some juice and I’ll even buy her lunch.”

“Are you sure?” Negan confirmed with Guy who nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders before giving a nod. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine if Y/N is okay with it.”

“I will never turn down getting to spend time with Jordyn,” Y/N announced with Negan bobbing his head from side to side. Something in Negan’s expression showed that he was uneasy at the idea of leaving Jordyn here. Maggie had never really let her stay before like this, so it wasn’t something that Negan was used to. “I’ll call you when we’re done so you can come and get us.”

“Sounds good,” Negan stepped forward, considering kissing Y/N, but stopped and instead pressed a loving kiss against Jordyn’s temple. If anyone had half a brain, they could tell by the body language between Negan and Y/N that something was going on between them. “You be good for Y/N, okay?”

“Promise,” Jordyn gave Negan a big, cheesy smile with excitement flooding her veins at the idea of getting to stay at work with them.

“Why don’t you follow me into my office?” Guy waved them on, leaving Maggie to herself out in the hallway. Maggie hated this and Y/N knew that. Even though Maggie wasn’t terrible with Jordyn, she never really went above and beyond with her. So having Jordyn here was a discomfort for Maggie. And Maggie probably wanted to rip Y/N’s head off after the stunt she pulled with the pocket watch. Inside Guy’s office, he was already setting up a place for Jordyn while she stood with Jordyn in her arms. “Why don’t you go get your things that you were working on yesterday Y/N and I can set Jordyn up here with something.”

Carefully lowering Jordyn down to the ground, she allowed Jordyn to follow Guy who was talking in a different tone of voice while he was having a conversation with Jordyn. Being alone with Maggie was not something that Y/N was looking forward to. But what was a nice surprise was that when she headed into Maggie’s office, she found it empty. Maggie wasn’t there and that was strange. But it made it easier for her to grab her things and make a quick escape.

Heading back into Guy’s office, she smirked when she saw that Jordyn was already in a seat at the side of the desk with a drawing pad in front of her. Guy was kneeling down beside her handing her over a pencil while Y/N set up her things at the end of the table.

“Do you like dresses?” Guy asked Jordyn, who gave him a dramatic nod and a big smile. “How about this, you draw me a dress that you would like to wear and I will have it made for you. What do you think about that?”

“Really?” Jordyn seemed shocked to hear that and Guy gave her a firm nod. “You mean it?”

“I promise,” Guy swore placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “Your mom here works really hard and I think that would be a nice present for you to have.”

“My mom?” Jordyn repeated what Guy had said looking back toward Y/N with her big hazel eyes. Giving a tiny smile, Jordyn nodded. Never before had she really called Y/N her mother, but when she turned back to look at Guy she giggled. “Yeah, my mom is pretty awesome.”

“I think so too,” Guy winked, his eyes locking with Y/N’s noticing that she was getting emotional over the fact that Jordyn just called her that. He could tell that it meant something to her. Trying to avoid embarrassing her about it, he stood up from the table and moved over toward his miniature fridge that he had in his office. “Is there a juice that you like sweetheart? Apple? Orange? Grape?”

Tipping back in her chair, Jordyn’s eyes squinted getting a look at what was inside, “Can I just have some water?”

“You got it kiddo,” Guy grabbed a bottle of water and closed up the fridge. Heading back over toward Jordyn, Guy held it out and she happily accepted the bottle from him. “If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?”

“Okay,” Jordyn kicked her legs about looking back to Y/N who was staring upon the two of them with awe in her eyes. “This is awesome.”

Throughout the day, Jordyn had asked Guy if he would give them a tour around the place. Which was kind of silly since Maggie and Y/N had done it before, but Guy happily obliged taking them from place to place. Surprisingly Jordyn was very good and focused on the things that she was doing. Other than the walk they went on and the break they took for lunch, Jordyn was focused on the job that Guy had given her. Toward the end of the day, Jordyn pushed the pad of paper forward.

“Can I get your opinion on this?” Jordyn looked to Y/N who stood up from her end of the table and made her way around. Looking down at the drawing that Jordyn came up with made Y/N smile. It was very colorful and had flowers in the design, but for a child it was a pretty good drawing. “Do you think this would make a good dress?”

“I think it’s beautiful,” Y/N complimented Jordyn, pulling the pad of paper in close to give it another look over. “Would you like wearing something like this?”

“Yeah! Do you know how cool it would be to tell people the dress I’m wearing is something I designed?” Jordyn boasted drawing Guy to stand up from where he was seated to move in beside Y/N. Reaching for the pad of paper, Guy gave a weak smile and Jordyn looked back at him. “So what do you think? You think you could make me that?”

“I think we can do that,” Guy winked, heading over toward his desk to set the paper down. “Your talented just like your mother. You’ll be working here in no time.”

“No shit! You think so?” Jordyn’s reaction had both Y/N and Guy bursting out in laughter and Y/N hushed her. Most children her age didn’t talk like that so it wasn’t something people were used to. “What? I’m excited.”

“And that’s where her father’s genes shine through,” Y/N noted, knowing that the swearing definitely came from Negan. “Her father has the mouth of a sailor and her first word was probably…well…”

“It’s a bad one,” Jordyn explained to Guy very dramatically, waving her hands in the air like it was no big deal. “It starts with an f and I’m pretty sure it’s my daddy’s favorite word. We have an agreement that I can swear as long as it’s around my family. But out in public I have to hold it in. Have respect.”

“They do say people who swear are actually smarter than those who don’t,” Guy told them seemingly amused with the whole thing. “I used to always tell my mother that whenever she tried to correct me on it too as a kid.”

“I think I wanna go show Maggie,” Jordyn seemed excited to show someone else the drawing, getting up from the table. Grabbing the drawing for her, Guy held it out and she eagerly accepted it. “I’ll be right back.”

Waiting for Jordyn to leave, Y/N sighed loudly when Guy stepped in beside her, “Thank you for this.”

“For what?” Guy stammered, his dark eyes locking with hers when she turned to look at him.

“For being nice to her,” she reminded Guy, throwing her hand up toward where Jordyn had just run off to. “You didn’t have to be this nice to her. She’s going to think this is the coolest thing ever for a while. And she’ll probably tell everyone about the dress that you are going to make for her.”

“I do intend to have it made for her,” Guy promised with a bounce of his eyebrows, his English accent growing stronger. “I keep my promises.”

“Good,” she gave him a nod, leaning forward to loosely wrap her arms around Guy who seemed to not know what to do when she hugged him.

“What are you doing?” Guy grunted, holding his hands up and letting out a tense sound.

“Just give me a hug you weirdo,” she requested, amused that it took Guy a good minute before he wrapped his arms loosely around her to return the gesture. “I promise I won’t tell anyone that you were nice and you hugged me.”

“Good because I’m not going to start handing out hugs for group moral,” Guy hissed at the idea as she stepped back and away from him with an entertained expression. “I’m willing to make exceptions for you because of your kid being here, but…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re a stone-cold prick, I’ll keep it in mind,” she teased him, shoving playfully at his shoulder getting Guy to stumble back and give her a tiny smile. The sound of the door being pulled open was heard and they both looked to Jordyn returning. “Did you show her?”

“She wasn’t here. She must have left, but I showed it to that lady that is always really nice to me,” Jordyn announced, returning back to Guy to hand the drawing over to him. Setting it down on top of the desk, Guy opened one of the drawers and pulled out one of his measuring tapes. “What’s that for?”

“Well, if I have to make your dress, I need to know what size to make it,” Guy educated her, having Jordyn stand a specific way so he could get her measurements. After writing them down, Guy went to get up, but he felt Jordyn jumping forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders to give him a hug as well. “Oh, wow. Your family is very hug happy.”

“Thank you Mr. Vixen,” Jordyn appreciated what Y/N’s boss was doing for her, giving Guy another big squeeze before stepping back. “You’re a pretty cool guy.”

“Well thank you,” Guy blurt out, standing up to see that Y/N was staring out at him with a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re a pretty cool kid yourself.”

“Here, why don’t you call your daddy to let him know that we will be done soon,” Y/N reached for her phone handing it off to Jordyn who eagerly accepted her phone. “I’ll just finish up what I have here and then we can get going.”

“So,” Guy moved over toward the end of the table where Y/N was still working. Jordyn headed toward the corner of the large office to call Negan leaving the two of them to themselves. “Are you going to tell me about your Daryl friend?”

“Since when did you become my girlfriend that I gossiped with?” she tipped her head to the side causing Guy to feign being offended, dramatically placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “Daryl is just a really good friend of mine.”

“Just a friend?” Guy’s eyebrow arched in curiosity, biting down on his bottom lip and humming out. He was making it clear that he didn’t believe her. “See, it felt like there was a war going on between two alphas over you. Either that or they had sex and they were angry at one another.”

Hearing that caused Y/N to choke and then laugh, looking to make sure that Jordyn was still distracted on the phone with her father, “There wasn’t an alpha war between them,” she denied that idea, clearing her throat when she realized that Daryl did seem to be a smartass whenever he was around Negan lately. That wasn’t a lie. “Daryl just isn’t the biggest fan of Negan.”

“Because of your affection toward Negan?” Guy pushed further wanting more details, but she wasn’t about to give it to him. “What was the comment about earlier with the whole stiff thing? Did Daryl walk in on something between the two of you?”

“Guy, Jordyn is in the room,” she pointed off toward where Jordyn was on the phone talking to Negan. Guy was desperate for an answer but she wasn’t about to give him one. “We’re also not going to start talking about my sex life together.”

“Who cares if Jordyn hears? You both are her parents. I think children will eventually understand that their parents have sex in their life,” Guy suggested, waving his hand about, but still remaining silent. “Did Daryl see the two of you having sex?”

“Guy!” she huffed out, her eyes getting big when she dropped down the pen that she was using. Throwing his hands up in the air defensively, Guy acted like what he said wasn’t that big of a deal. “Listen, I haven’t…the two of us…we haven’t fully….”

“Had sex?” Guy finished for her, nodding his head about. His chiseled jawline flexed with her looking down toward the ground with color flushing into her face. “Okay, so there was something that happened between the two of you. From Negan, I know that you gave him a blowjob. But what about Daryl? Have the two of you had sex?”

By the expression that she gave him, that was all Guy needed to know that he was right about the two of them having something more than a friendship, “That one surprises me. He doesn’t look like he would be your type. Does he have a big…” Guy paused, looking toward the corner again to make sure that Jordyn was distracted. “You know?”

“I’m not doing this,” she warned him trying to go back to working on what she had to finish, but Guy stopped her from doing that. “Daryl and I have been friends for a very long time. He’s always been there for me when I needed him and vice versa.”

“Hmm…” Guy hummed, stroking his fingers against the side of his face and he huffed loudly. “So you can’t fit me in as one of your moments of being there for you before you hook up with either one of them?”

“I’m not having sex with you,” she snapped, quieter than before causing him to chuckle at the way she reacted to herself when she said that in the same room as Jordyn. “I told you why I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know you told me why, but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep trying,” Guy frowned, looking to make sure that Jordyn was still distracted while they were talking. “Clearly you are in some kind of love triangle and I’m okay with that. We can just do it once, we can be over with it and I won’t fall in love with you. I wouldn’t want to make things worse between the two men already fighting over you.”

“Gee, thanks,” she snickered at the idea provoking Guy to nod like it was actually a good thing that he offered her. It made her laugh that he was so oblivious to everything, but it was what it was. Nothing would change the way that Guy was. “I’m sure you have much hotter people falling at your feet. I’m nothing in comparison to some of the people I’ve seen hanging all over you.”

“Yeah, but they are fake,” he insisted with a loud sigh, leaning back against the table to rest on his elbow drawing out a laugh from her. “I don’t think you would ever use me to get what you want. You’re not like other people that we know.”

Hearing Jordyn start to finish up, Guy frowned and shrugged his shoulders, “The offer is always on the table. Whether you want to talk to me about your personal life or you want me to be part of your personal life. I’m just putting it out there.”

“Thanks for that,” she tapped her hand against the top of the table when Jordyn returned with her cell phone. Getting up from the table, Guy gave her a dramatic expression as he backstepped toward his desk. Reaching for Jordyn, Y/N pulled her up into her lap and wrapped her up in a big hug. “Did you get a hold of your father?”

“I did, he said he would pick us up in a few,” Jordyn informed her, giggling when Y/N peppered kisses against her cheek.

“Did you have a good day?” Y/N questioned noticing that Guy was watching her and Jordyn from where he was seated at his desk.

“It was fun,” Jordyn answered, leaning further back into Y/N’s arms. “I’ll be excited to see how my dress looks in real life.”

“I tell you what? I’ve been following Guy’s work most of my life and if he makes it for you? I promise you that it will be beautiful,” she reached up to tap at the tip of Jordyn’s nose causing Negan’s daughter to smile brightly. There seemed to be something running through Guy’s mind when he lowered his head and let out a long exhale. Instead of focusing on her boss, she gave her attention to Jordyn and wrapped her up tightly in her arms. “So I promise you, it will be amazing. Just like you.”

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​ @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

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@promiscuousbarnes @lanadelnegan @peachihellcat @dilfsandmartinis

[bunni-v1]

relating to your last ask that included arguments between shadow milk and his lover, i cannot get the following picture out of my head:

his doll, while a bit (a bit more) off-put by the whole truthless recluse situation, is very much "whatever, their soul jam, their business" about it

however-

what grinds their gears is the fact that kids (aka the gingerbrave gang) are involved

i can just imagine them going off on shadow milk like "listen, i get it, your plans but they are kids. literal children?? keep them out of this-" "no, doll, listen, they're scheming kids-"

ik this isn't really an ask, but i just wanted to share it :)) love your writing, you're amazing, and your shadow milk headcanons live rent free in my brain (actually i am paying them-)

Lolololol (Feel like a mysmes character typing ts... okay), I guess we can say this is ur rent. I'm happy for your payment though, it's good food for thought my love! Have a little midnight snack as a treat!

Just imagine you're someone who's more compassionate. It's something that Shadow Milk Cookie cherishes about you... when it's directed at him. You're always worrying over him and his little henchmen, Candy Apple especially since she's so young. It's annoying, but it's sweet how much you dote on them, and he can't say he dislikes the idea of you in a more parental role...

It becomes an issue when those little pests come around. You've never nosed your way into his business at all, leaving things between him and Pure Vanilla to be what they are. He prefers it like that, keeping you out of trouble was always a positive on his mind. Oh, but then those cute little annoying snotty nosed brats come along and ruin everything.

It wouldn't have been an issue if you hadn't overheard him threaten to drown them. It not like he was actually going to, he was just poking at Truthless Recluse, that's all. You didn't take it though, you were all kinds of pissed off at him.

He thinks it's a silly thing to be upset about, you know he didn't care enough about those kids to do much of anything to them. Yet, you remain upset, even after things are done and Compassionate Pure Vanilla has TEMPORARILY taken him and his plans down. It stumps him, he can't possibly wrap his mind around what's gotten into you. Such a small insignificant act is nothing compared to half of what you've seen him do.

When you refuse to say more than a few words to him, he starts to worry. What did he do wrong? Well, you told him, but why was it so bad this time? The best answers come from the source, of course, but getting it out of you might be a little harder than he likes.

"Doll? Dolly? Little star? Won't you talk to me?" He pouts, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

You might've teased him if you weren't so upset now. You keep your nose upturned, doing your best not to crack under his relentless pressure. He could be so persistent about these things, and normally you would give, but he'd crossed a line this time. You didn't mess around with children, and he should've known better.

A drawn-out sigh comes from behind you, "Are you still upset about the drowning thing? It was all in good fun I promise! Nothing to worry your pretty little head over!"

He didn't know better, though. For the former fount of knowledge -- and someone who could literally read minds if he wanted to -- he was terribly unaware sometimes. It made you so angry, and you felt bad for being angry because he really didn't get it.

"They're just insignificant little kids, it's a silly thing to be angry about." He continues, and oh that gets a reaction out of you.

You turn around to face him, the boredom in his expression only making that anger bubble up more and more. You really can't hold it in anymore.

"Exactly, they're kids! Just kids, they don't have any stake in this. Why couldn't you let well enough alone for once!" You shout, and it feels so good to get out. Pettiness aside, you'd wanted to get it through his head since this all started.

You watch his face shift through surprise and annoyance and then flatten into an unreadable expression. It was unsettling to see, especially pointed in your direction. Still, you tried to stand your ground, though you'd never felt so small next to him. He lets the silence linger in a purposeful move, you're not sure why. It keeps you on edge the whole time, unable to tell what his next move might be.

"Dolly, they were in my way, I had no choice-" He starts, but you've had enough of the manipulation and sitting quietly.

"What threat are children to you?" Your voice breaks halfway through the sentence, tears you didn't realize were building pouring over your cheeks, "You are so frustrating sometimes. In what universe would I ever be alright with hurting children? Sometimes it's like you don't even know me!"

You don't realize he's in front of you until he's lifting your face in his hand with uncharacteristic gentleness. His face is still flat, but you see the worry shining behind his eyes.

"Y'know you shouldn't lie to the literal embodiment of deceit," He says quietly as he brushes your tears away.

You know you shouldn't, but you laugh a little at that, "I'm sorry. I'm just upset."

"No, really?"

"You don't get to joke around right now," you scoff with a halfhearted shove at his shoulder.

He hums, leaning into your vision so you have to look at him, "It's making you smile, though."

"Shadow Milk Cookie."

"Okay, okay. I get the message," He backs off, "Just don't cry anymore, please?"

You smile, "Maybe if you promise not to involve those kids more than you have to, please?"

He seems to think it over like it was a hard decision. He doesn't think much longer when you flatten a glare on him, "Alright, it's a promise! You can look at my fingers, they're not crossed either! I'll keep my word!"

You scoff at him, "What do I see in you?"

"My charm and wit, of course!" He puffs up like a proud cat, the usual grin back on his face.

"Just kiss it better you dummy!"

"Whatever you ask for, you shall receive, my little star!"

And kiss it better he does, until you can hardly remember why you were so mad at him to begin with.

[dellamortethelesser]

The Wigmaker Job (Final)

Notes and Thoughts - Part 7

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 |pt6 | pt7

This is my final installment in my attempt to organize my thoughts nearly line-by-line as I go through and analyze the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. These are my personal opinions and I'm open to discussion about any points I present here. DISCLAIMER: These posts I'm doing are my own analyses and are done with the intentional eye to examine the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. I try to source all my assertions from what the text is giving me. This is not Lucanis critical nor should it be taken as such.

this is going to be a longer post because I'm going to try to cover the last of everything at once. also as my disclaimer says I'm really in this for the relationship analysis which means I'm going to be breezing over a lot of this final fight with Ambrose. okay all of my caveats out of the way lets dive in

Lucanis felt no sympathy. They were, all of them, Venatori supporters, who either knew what Ambrose was doing or chose to turn a blind eye to indulge their own vanity. Ignorance is bliss, not innocence.

hm. okay hang on this is a doozy right off the bat in terms of Lucanis's subjective experience and opinions re: the Venatori when we remember that he is an assassin. a professional who kills people for money. Does Lucanis remember that? or does he think himself better because he's walking into this eyes wide open? so fucking chewy love this.

we can discuss it a little more when we skip down into the scene to where Lucanis and Ambrose are actually exchanging dialogue. wheeeee

"Normally, there's no judgment—only a contract. But for you, Ambrose, I made an exception." The Wigmaker raised a brow. "Oh? What makes me so special?" "You upset my delicate sensibilities." It was Ambrose's turn to laugh. "I thought a Crow could stomach anything—for the right price." Lucanis leveled the Wigmaker with a pointed look. "Not red lyrium." "Morality is not static. Right and wrong are a matter of perspective."

This interaction, to me, is the thesis of Lucanis's character. We can go line by line and pick apart what each one means to get everyone thinking. Come on guys come with meeeeee!

Line 1: Illario has been referring to the contract throughout this entire short story and it's been a point I've hammered in at pretty much every turn: Lucanis is not thinking like an assassin. He's letting his emotions, his morality, take precedence over the job.

Line 2: well. i actually don't have so much to say about what Ambrose says here but it is a good question. what DOES raise Lucanis's hackles so much as to cause a CROW to change their modus operandi?

Line 3: Lucanis is deflecting with a bit of humor here. He's not above the same dry wit that Illario is prone to, though his is usually more internal throughout the story expressed through his narration.

Line 4: Ambrose brings up the same point—they are PAID, HIRED KILLERS. paid money to kill. What about a trained killer implies that they'd blanch at anything? They certainly have a reputation to uphold.

Line 5: I had to go back to look at the red lyrium mention earlier in the story. Quick refresher—Ambrose was using red lyrium to keep his victims drugged and subdued and demon fodder pretty much lol. But Lucanis wasn't necessarily appalled at the use of red lyrium—not like he's been consistently appalled and horrified on behalf of the victims and slaves that fall under Ambrose's shadow. It also makes the previous lack of sympathy to those being killed by the demons interesting—guilty and not worthy of Lucanis's sympathy + vengeance by association, even though Ambrose tramples right over his guests and kills them, too.

Line 6: THIS. It's an excellent point to make to Lucanis specifically; morality is not static. Right and wrong are a matter of perspective. Sure, it means nothing to most people coming from the guy summoning demons and drugging people with red lyrium and killing them. But… let's just compare Lucanis and Illario? The "right" thing to do was different for them—the "right" thing in Illario's eyes was to finish the contract and leave. But the "right" thing to Lucanis—well, it was to get vengeance, pass judgment. Is it not so subjective? Lucanis says that the party guests deserve to die. Someone else might not.

Nothing irritated him more than self-righteous excuses. If you're going to do something terrible, just own it.

I'm really so obsessed with Lucanis and his mentality. Right here I just circled and scribbled the words "you're an assassin" but I suppose the point I wanted to make was that self-righteous excuses could be applied to him too? was that not what he was doing when he was changing up his plans on Illario to get vengeance and free the slaves? If you're going to do something noble, just own it.

You could argue that he did own it, but he just couched it behind the red lyrium excuse.

Hopelessness flooded the mage's eyes. "One day, someone will turn your work against you. Only then will you have some semblance of the emptiness you've made me feel."

I think this is the one good point I gave to Veilguard re: the Lucanis and Illario story-line because I did feel like this was interesting foreshadowing.

Fight ensues. Nothing really more interesting there that I want to dig into? Honorable mention to him talking to the abominations at the end, I guess; "you have your vengeance". Interesting. I don't think all of these abominations are victims, some of them are the high-blood mages that were there at the party, because he mentioned it earlier? Hmm. Thoughts to consider!

Immediately skipping past looking for Illario on their ship to check the CLEANEST TAVERN on the docks. And he's right. really fucking funny that did get me lmfao.

"get that man to stop yelling at me" ← see Illario's skills are useful!!! ok now we're about to get into the meat of the Lucanis&Illario dynamic that everyone loves to reference (even me)

"Yes, yes. I did my good deed for the year." ← Illario does keep his word! Just like Lucanis said.

The back and forth about the wine and bribery does something to me. "I think it makes it taste all the sweeter" from Illario versus Lucanis drinking it and saying that bribery hadn't spoiled the bottle. Obviously it's just saying that it isn't bribed? Or at least that Lucanis doesn't think— it means nothing I think I'm reading into this passage too much

Camille didn't make it and Illario is unfazed; "ah, well, frees me from promises I didn't intend to keep". sorry he's so fucking funny. Interesting that Lucanis chooses to tell him this? Does he think Illario was serious about the flirting? Does he feel bad about her death? Lucanis knew her NAME. Illario had to be reminded by referring to her as the guard-captain.

Illario offers to get a healer for the blood and Lucanis stubbornly refuses. Here we go everyone.

"All right," Illario said, topping off his glass. "We'll just pretend that's wine you're dripping all over the table." "What do you want me to say?" Illario's gaze grew hard. "How long are you going to keep doing this?" "Doing what?" "Caterina's bidding."

Obviously I don't think that Lucanis is thinking—or really wants to think—about how this ends, while Illario understands the game, the politics, the fact that Lucanis is passively letting this happen, and that Lucanis is continiously justifying Caterina's controll.

The wine turned in Lucanis's mouth. "Illario. Stop." "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore," he cajoled. "You could quit."

The main reason why I didn't write this out as an essay was because the very unsatisfying thesis is that you have to decide for yourself whether you think the writing from WMJ is consistent across The Wake & Veilguard. There's no indication from the narrator or from Lucanis whether Illario is being genuine here or not.

But I'm operating on the good faith that he is. Lucanis could quit! He's making an offer. Lucanis wants him to stop bringing Caterina into it, stop thinking ahead, stop making HIM think about where this road leads.

Lucanis stared at his cousin. "I don't want to quit." Illario sat back. The distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. "Even if it kills you," Illario whispered.

I actually don't think this was an indictment on Lucanis but an observation that Illario was making. He's not going to quit—even if it's going to kill him. I'm not sure those words were necessarily intended for Lucanis even if he heard them. My opinion though.

"Death is my calling," Lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. "Just as yours is to become First Talon."

I can go either way on this one. Lucanis is either saying that he wants to remain as a mere assasin who doles out death—or truly wants to die trying to avoid Caterina's placement of him as First Talon.

He clearly sees Illario as the one more suited for the task, but he won't tell Caterina that. His refusal to tell her 'no' is justified by how she raised them but it is crazy, man…

He smiled, hoping to ease the tension, but Illario's posture remained taut. "And if Caterina disagrees? If she thinks you're the better man for the job—" "I don't want it, Illario," Lucanis insisted. "But you wouldn't refuse."

Illario already knows that Caterina prefers Lucanis; they discussed this at the beginning. Everyone knows. Even Lucanis.

Lucanis finally answers Illario's question from that early scene! He doesn't want the job! But, no. He won't tell Caterina no, which is the real money question here. He's stuck and can't actually offer a solution to satisfy Illario—in fact, he offers no real solution at all.

"It's impossible to refuse Caterina," Lucanis admitted reluctantly. "Only prolong her, until she sees reason." He knew it wasn't the answer Illario wanted, but it was the truth. And in their line of work, honesty was hard to come by. Illario exhaled and lifted his wineglass in salute. "To reason, then." "To reason," Lucanis echoed."

To reason. [OUGH] I don't have a lot to add to this specific passage that I haven't already covered i just wrote "augh AUGH AUAUUUGHGHGH" all over my paper at this point. To reason! I'd argue Illario's crashout was justified but perhaps not reason. I see his reasoning.

Caterina was never going to see their reasoning. Only her reason matters. Why should she see reason? She has the way of it.

One last thing I want to cover before we part ways, lovelies. Although I will be making my Wake analysis later but that'll just be one long post lol.

Zara paused to marvel at herself. Every feature and proportion were in perfect symmetry. And yet, when she smiled, there was something ugly behind it.

Echoes Illario's description at the start of this story.

Quotes are either paraphrased or taken directly from The Wigmaker Job, written by Courtney Woods.

[mistfallenmemes]

𝚃𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴

"Oh, I leave quite an impression."

"You're wonderin' why half his clothes went missin'? My body's where they're at."

"Now I'm gone but you're still layin' next to me."

"I heard you're back together."

"You'll just have to taste me when he's kissing you."

"If you want forever... and I bet you do."

"He's funny now? All his jokes hit different? Guess who he learned them from."

"Every time you close your eyes and feel his lips, you're feelin' mine."

"Every time you breathe his air, just know I was already there."

"You can have him if you like; I've been there, done that once or twice."

"I know I've been known to share."

𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴

"I know I have good judgment."

"I know I have good taste."

"It's funny and it's ironic that only I feel that way."

"I promised 'em that you're different and everyone makes mistakes."

"I heard that you're an actor, so act like a stand-up guy."

"Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight."

"I tell them it's just your culture and everyone rolls their eyes."

"Please, please, please, don't prove I'm right."

"Don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice."

"Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another."

"I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker."

"Well, I have a fun idea, babe, maybe just stay inside?"

"I know you're cravin' some fresh air, but the ceiling fan is so nice."

"We could live so happily if no one knows that you're with me."

"Don't prove I'm right."

"Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another. I beg you, don't embarrass me."

"If you wanna go and be stupid, don't do it in front of me."

"Don't make me hate you prolifically."

𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙲𝙴𝚂

"When I love you, I'm sweet like an angel."

"I'm drawin' hearts 'round our names, and dreamin' of writing vows, rockin' cradles."

"Don't mistake my nice for naive"

"I don't waste a second, I know lots of guys."

"You do somethin' suspect, this cute ass bye-bye."

"Baby, you say you really like it; being mine?"

"Let me give you some advice."

"It's not that complicated."

"You should stay in my good graces."

"It's not that complicated. You should stay in my good graces."

"No one's more amazin' at turnin' lovin' into hatred."

"I'll tell the world you finish your... chores... prematurely."

"Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete."

"I want you every second, don't need other guys."

"You do somethin' sus, kiss my cute ass bye."

"I won't give a fuck about you."

𝚂𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙿𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝚃𝙾𝙾𝙻

"I know you're not the sharpest tool in the shed."

"We had sex, I met your best friends!"

"A bird flies by and you forget."

"I don't hear a word til your guilt creeps in."

"You left me with a lot of shit to second-guess."

"Guess I'll waste another year on wonderin' if."

"If that was casual, then I'm an idiot."

"I'm lookin' for an answer in-between the lines."

"You're lyin' to yourself if you think we're fine."

"You're confused and I'm upset, but we never talk about it."

"All the silence just makes it worse."

"We never talk about how you found God at your ex's house."

"You always made sure that the phone was face-down."

"Seems like overnight, I'm just the bitch you hate now."

"You guilt-tripped me to open up to you!"

"We don't talk about it."

𝙲𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴

"The second I put my head on your chest, she knew."

"She's got a real sixth sense."

"Without her even being here, she's back in your life."

"Now she's in the same damn city on the same damn night, and you've lost all your common sense."

"What a coincidence."

"Last week, you didn't have any doubts. This week, you're holding space for her tongue in your mouth."

She's sending you some pictures, wearing less and less, trying to turn the past into the present tense."

"You told me the truth... minus seven percent."

"What a surprise, your phone just died."

"Your car drove itself from L.A. to her thighs?"

"... but who's by your side?"

"Damn it, she looks kinda like the girl you outgrew."

"At least that's what you said."

𝙱𝙴𝙳 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙼

"I was in a sheer dress the day that we met."

"We were both in a rush."

"Your friend hit me up so we could connect."

"What are the odds?"

"And now the next thing I know..."

"I manifest that you're oversized... I digress."

"Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?"

"Maybe it's all in my head."

"But I bet we'd have really good bed chem."

"How you pick me up, pull 'em down, turn me 'round, oh, it just makes sense."

"How you talk so sweet when you're doing bad things, that's bed chem."

"How you're looking at me, yeah, I know what that means, and I'm obsessed."

"Are you free next week?"

"Come right on me... I mean camaraderie!"

"Said you're not in my time zone, but you wanna be."

"Where art thou? Why not uponeth me?"

"I see it in my mind, let's fulfill the prophecy."

"Who's the cute guy with the wide, blue eyes and the big, bad mmm?"

"I know I sound a bit redundant."

"It just makes sense."

"You talk so sweet when you're doing bad things."

"You're looking at me, yeah, I know what that means."

"And I bet we'd both arrive at the same time."

"And I bet the thermostat's set at six-nine."

"And I bet it's even better than in my head."

𝙴𝚂𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙾

"He's thinkin' 'bout me every night."

"Isn't that sweet?"

"I guess so."

"Say you can't sleep, baby, I know."

"I can't relate to desperation."

"My 'give a fucks' are on vacation."

"I got this one boy and he won't stop calling."

"When they act this way I know I got em'."

"Too bad your ex don't do it for ya."

"Walked in and dream came trued it for ya."

"Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya."

"I know I Mountain Dew it for ya."

"That morning coffee brewed it for ya."

"One touch and I brand newed it for ya."

"Holy shit."

"I'm working late..."

"He looks so cute wrapped around my finger."

"My twisted humor makes him laugh so often."

"My honey bee, come and get this pollen."

"Isn't that sweet?"

"I guess so."

𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱 & 𝙿𝙾𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙲

"You're so dumb and poetic."

"It's just what I fall for, I like the aesthetic."

"Every self-help book, you've already read it."

"You cherry-pick lines like they're words you invented."

"You get a gold star for hi-brow manipulation."

"You try to come off like you're soft and well-spoken."

"You jack off to lyrics by Leonard Cohen."

"I don't think you understand."

"Just 'cause you talk like one, it doesn't make you a man."

"You're so sad there's no communication, but baby, you put us in this situation."

"You're running so fast from the hearts that you're breakin'."

"You're so empathetic, you'd make a great wife."

"I promise the mushrooms aren't changing your life."

"You crashed the car and abandoned the wreckage."

"You fuck with my head like it's some kind of fetish."

"Just 'cause you leave like one, it doesn't make you a man."

𝚂𝙻𝙸𝙼 𝙿𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝚂

"Guess I'll end this life alone."

"I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts that pass right through me."

"All the douchebags in my phone... if they're winning, I'm just losing."

"A boy who's jacked and kind. Can't find his ass to save my life."

"It's slim pickins."

"If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'."

"Since the good ones are deceased or taken, I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'."

"Jesus, what's a girl to do?"

"This boy doesn't even know the difference between "there", "their", and "they are"."

"He's naked in my room."

"God knows that he isn't livin' large."

"A boy who's nice, that breathes? I swear, he's nowhere to be seen."

"Since the good ones call their exes wasted, and since the Lord forgot my gay awakening, then I'll just be here in the kitchen."

𝙹𝚄𝙽𝙾

"I don't have to tell your hot ass a thing, you just get it."

"Whole package, babe, I like the way you fit."

"God bless your dad's genetics."

"You make me wanna make you fall in love."

"Late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you."

"Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?"

"Oh, I hear you knockin', baby. Come on up."

"I know you want my touch for life

"If you love me right, then who knows? I might let you make me Juno."

"You know I just might let you lock me down tonight."

"One of me is cute, but two, though?"

"Give it to me, baby."

"I showed my friends, then we high-fived. Sorry if you feel objectified."

"I can't help myself, hormones are high."

"You give me more than just some butterflies."

"Wanna try out some freaky positions?"

"Have you ever tried this one?"

"If you love me right, then who knows?"

"I might let you make me Juno."

"Adore me."

"Hold me and explore me."

"Mark your territory."

"Tell me I'm the only one."

"Adore me, hold me and explore me."

"I'm so fucking horny."

𝙻𝙸𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻𝚂

"Don't swear on your mom that it's the first drink that you've had in like a month."

"Don't say it was just an isolated incident that happened once."

"There's no need to pretend."

"I've never seen an ugly truth that I can't bend to something that looks better."

"I'm stupid, but I'm clever."

"I can make a shitshow look a whole lot like forever and ever."

"You don't have to lie to girls."

"If they like you, they'll just lie to themselves."

"You don't have to lie to girls. If they like you, they'll just lie to themselves."

"Don't I know it better than anyone else?"

"All of your best excuses don't stand a chance."

"It isn't ideal, but damn."

"You don't even have to try."

"You don't have to lift a finger."

"It's lucky for you I'm just like my mother."

"We love to read the cold, hard facts and swear they're incorrect."

"We love to mistake butterflies for cardiac arrest."

"You don't have to lie to girls. If they like you, they'll just lie to themselves. Don't I know it better than anyone else?"

"Girls will cry and girls will lie and girls will do it 'til they die for you."

"Girls will lose their goddamn minds for you."

𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴

"Don't smile because it happened, baby, cry because it's over."

"You're supposed to think about me every time you hold her."

"My heart is heavy now, it's like a hundred pounds."

"It's falling faster than the way you love to shut me down."

"I think I need a shower."

"My friends are taking shots."

"You think it's happy hour, for me it's not."

"Don't smile because it happened."

"Cry because it's over."

"I want you to miss me."

"I stay in, and when the girls come home I want one of them to take my phone and lose your number."

"I don't wanna be tempted."

"You can fake it, but you know I know."

[neege]

hi hi are u still looking for prompts?? wolfstarbucks have been HAUNTING me lately omg cannot stop thinking about james and sirius smothering remus in kisses and he’s so flustered and blushy and embarrassed

HI HI BACK! I'm so sorry this has taken so long!! I too am haunted by wolfstarbucks and would be happy to indulge this 🫡 I hope you enjoy 🥰🥰

Just for clarity, this is a modern au where Remus is looking for love, but has been having no luck so far! Whatever will James and Sirius do!!!

This is also soooo out of my comfort zone as someone who has very little romantic experience, so please be gentle with me 🫣

Remus shuts the door with a little more force than he normally would had he known he isn't alone. His cheeks are a blotchy red, and they sting from the biting cold outside. He can feel his shirt riding up underneath his sweater, and his sweater riding up underneath his coat, and his scarf coming unraveled in a way where he can feel the weight of it more on one side of his body than the other. He's holding his keys in one hand, his mail is tucked under his armpit, and he's gripping his now-cold latte in the other hand.

Each of these things alone wouldn't be so bad, except he's just had the most awkward date of his life, and the combination of discomfort, cold, and emotional turmoil is enough to send him reeling.

He stands inside the threshold for a moment and let's the overstimulation simmer, causing a couple of angry tears to well up in his eyes. He shuts them, hard, and takes a grounding breath.

"Remus?"

Shit.

"Is that you coming in? James is here, just so you know!"

Fuck!

Everyone is out to get him today.

He scrambles to set everything down before wiping his eyes and walking into the main sitting room. The sight of James and Sirius—wrapped up on the sofa together in a tangle of limbs—hits Remus like a punch to the gut.

His friends have been together for 8 years now; they're the type of couple that can read each other like book. They're always stuck to each other's sides like glue, so that anytime you need to talk about one, the other name follows naturally: James-and-Sirius.

They're both two beautiful, exciting, adventurous, intelligent and passionate people who come together in a love that's so real and all-consuming, you feel lucky just to be able to witness it. There's some days where Remus is happy to bask in it all—watching their comfortable and easy affection, the kind he could only dream of having for himself, and there's other days where he feels so envious of what they have he could scream.

Today, he just feels defeated.

"Moons! How was your date?" Deep grey eyes sparkle at him from over the back of the couch, but at the look on his face, Sirius quickly sits up—untangling himself from his boyfriend and turning to face Remus.

"Alright?"

The man in question let's out the world's most dramatic groan as he makes his way around the couch. James and Sirius shuffle apart a bit so that when Remus flops down, he's sandwiched between them.

"I didn't know you had a date today, was it really bad?" James is blinking wide concerned eyes him from behind his glasses.

"Yeah, it was just with some guy I matched with on a dating app. I usually don't have any luck with those things but this guy—oh, his name was Corey by the way—I don't know, this guy seemed really nice."

Remus lets out a sad little sigh.

"And he was nice, and he was handsome too..." He trails off dejectedly at that.

"So," Sirius asks, "why are you so upset? Did he do something to-"

"No! He was perfectly lovely! It's me, it's- I'm- I fucked it all up!"

He feels fingers settle in his hair as he slouches back into the couch, most likely James.

"I was just so... weird! I mean, we'd been messaging back and forth for two weeks, and then today, the whole date, I felt like my skin was too tight and I was so hyper aware of every single movement I made and every word coming out of my mouth. Even with all of that though, it was pleasant and good, and I thought things were going really well, but then after like an hour, max, he let me know that it wasn't going to work out..."

"Aww, Moony I'm sorry."

James guides Remus's head down to his shoulder, and Sirius sets his hand on his knee, rubbing back and forth in a comforting way.

He lets out a little sniff.

"I don't know, maybe I'm pathetic for wanting something real. Something like the movies, you know? But the epilogue of the movie, where the happy couple is unpacking their boxes in their shiny new flat with their cozy shared bed and comfy couch that they'll spend Saturdays on." Sirius moves closer, wrapping his free arm around Remus—he continues.

"I want to be in love. I want magic and closeness and someone who gets me. Who sees every part of me, and still likes me. I want to be sure. I want them to be sure. I'm tired of going on these pointless fucking dates with people I don't know. All they ever see is how nervous I am, and how awkward I am, and how I can't flirt or how weird-looking I am, or how embarrassing it is when I think they're trying to hold my hand when they're actually reaching for the salt."

With one final puff of air, Remus his steam. "I want to find something like what you guys have."

"Me and Prongs?" Sirius smells so good. He's leaning closer now, so that him and James are making a little triangle that shelters Remus between them.

"Yes! I want to be in love with my best friend! Not a stranger from an app or a bar. I just feel like I'll never be able to find anyone that likes me enough to know me, you know?"

James's fingers in his hair make Remus feel sleepy and comfortable—his voice is warm in his ear, "Moons, lots of people like you, you're very likable. Me and Sirius like you, a lot."

"Yeah, but you guys already know me. You were able to tough it out through the really bumpy, awkward stuff. And it was easier for you because we were kids. But now I'm an adult, and I'm shy and strange and haven't kissed anyone in over a year!"

Remus feels himself flush all over from the admission, but his all his frustration and insecurity is spilling out now, pathetic and ugly all over the floor.

"And I love you guys both, but it- it's painful sometimes to see you together. You've clearly found something special, and I don't blame you at all for my bitterness, but I am bitter! I just want to kiss someone, I want to love someone!"

The fight goes out of him all once, and the tears that have been welling up all day are starting to stream quietly down Remus's red cheeks. He feels James swipe a thumb over them softly.

Sirius is trailing his palm—wide and warm—up and down his thigh.

"Moony..." Sirius speaks quietly, like he's trying not to spook a scared animal, "How come you never said any of this before?"

"I didn't-" Remus starts, but gets interrupted.

"Ah- no, don't give us the I didn't want you to feel bad for me spiel. We care about you Moony. We're your best friends. We love you and we want you to feel loved. We want you to feel good."

The low hum of James speaking so closely to Remus makes his eyes shut. He feels so warm.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No, no none of that, okay? No apologies."

Remus feels a soft, chaste kiss get pressed to his temple. James keeps talking.

"Remus you deserve to feel loved every day of your life. You're so amazing and kind and witty and handsome and good. Anyone who doesn't see it, isn't fully looking. You're so good and so special. Especially to Sirius and I."

Another kiss, this time on his cheek. Sirius's lips are cool against his burning skin. Remus knows he must look like a tomato.

"You deserve someone who sees you, who knows you."

A kiss pressed under his ear. Remus shivers.

"What- what are you doing?"

"It's okay Moons," from Sirius.

Another kiss.

"Let us make you feel wanted," from James.

Another kiss.

"Let us make you feel good," from James again.

Remus is nearly overwhelmed by what's happening. He can feel James tilt his head to the side by his hair to expose the skin of his neck. He feels Sirius pressing open mouthed kisses there, the drag of his chapped lips ticklish.

"But um, you and Sirius are- are together, and I- I can't-"

Sirius shushes Remus softly, and speaks lowly, his lips moving against the shell of his ear.

"Don't worry about that Moons. We've enough to share, yeah? Doesn't that sound nice?"

Remus whines quietly, blushing in embarrassment at the soft chuckle this draws out of Sirius.

It does sound nice.

James snakes his arm around Remus's middle, drawing him even closer into his embrace, and begins to lay kisses across his cheekbones, his nose, his closed eyelids—anywhere he can reach.

"We want to take care of you, love." He pauses his assault to look Remus in the eye. "Let us take care of you."

Shaky and breathless, Remus lets out a whispered okay, and suddenly Sirius is drawing him away by the chin, and pulling him into a kiss.

It's a soft kiss. Gentle and barely-there, as if leaving room for Remus to pull back.

Remus doesn't pull back. Instead, he whimpers, quietly, but he may as well have stuck his head out the window and moaned for how loud it feels in the silent room. Taking his response as encouragement, Sirius deepens the kiss—parting Remus's lips with his tongue and licking into his mouth.

Remus is floating. He might have died and gone to heaven. He isn't sure, but the feeling of Sirius Black kissing him so thoroughly while James Potter runs his hands through his hair and nips at his neck is enough to make him feel like maybe he's in the afterlife. Or maybe he's dreaming, except his dreams have never, ever been this sweet.

By the time Sirius pulls away, Remus's skin is hot and he's breathing heavily. His vision is still a little blurry from his tears, but he isn't crying anymore. He looks into crystal clear eyes, and he swears his heart stops beating. It's the exact kind of insane, romantic, unrealistic feeling he's been chasing with all of his pointless fucking dates.

Except it isn't unrealistic. It's here. It's here.

"Let us love you Moons."

He takes a solidifying breath. James has stopped his movements and is now nuzzling into Remus's neck— waiting for Remus to respond. Sirius's hand—which had been about a centimeter from Remus's crotch—moves across his lap to grasp at James's own, and it all clicks into place.

This. This is what he wants. The both of them, here, together, but also... With him.

His next words are nervous, but sure.

"Okay, I will."

Remus yelps as he's bodily picked up, and tossed over James's shoulder while Sirius laughs loudly.

[luvvampz]

"You're gay? So, what!"

Warnings: cursing, fear of homophobia (no idea if it's a trigger but I'll still add it)

Authors note: YIEPEPEPEP!!!!!!! Should I turn this into a mini series and do this with others? Give me ideas on who else to do lmao also lmk if I should do the same characters with different sexualities, gender identities, etc in general js lmk in asks or replys or smth

"I know the perfect place to talk. Trust me." Were the words your elder brother had told you when you asked if you and him could talk privately. But you simply shrugged your shoulders, hey, as long as you got to talk about what you wanted to tell him then you really didn't care where the discussion was held.

You weren't expecting him to take you to bat burger, but hey! Nothing better than a burger and fries while telling your older brother one of your biggest secrets.

"I'll take.." Jason paused as he considered what he wanted to get. Was bat burger the most healthiest choice to eat? Hell no! Was he going to eat some with his younger sibling? Hell yes! Jason paused for a moment glancing at the menu for a moment, "The batburger special, please and whatever the kid wants." Jason shrugged motioning for you to tell the cashier what the hell you wanted.

"I'll have the same thing as him but with nuggets please." You nodded, crossing your arms. You were trying to seem calm and collected but in reality you were nervous as hell.

After a while you both got your food and Jason paid giving a decently generous tip (which was secretly just his way of apologizing for breaking the window a few nights ago when fighting a guy).

"Alright. What's up?" Jason questioned once you both had sat down and starting taking a few bites of your food.

"You swear you won't tell Bruce? If you do I'll tell Alfred you were the one who ate all of the pizza types." You narrowed your eyes at him, waiting for your confirmation that Jason wouldn't spill your secret.

"I swear. What's been bothering you?" Jason nodded, putting his hands up in surrender jokingly at your threat.

"So... I'm gay." You mumbled out nervously before quickly stuffing a nugget in your mouth hoping that Jason wouldn't be upset.

"Alright? And?" Jason shrugged. He didn't understand what was so wrong with it. He didn't care what anyone's sexuality was. As long as they weren't a piece of shit, he really could care less if someone was queer. As long as they were happy really.

"Wait. You're not mad?" You stared at him perplexed. You thought he would have a wayyy worse of a reaction.

"No? Why would I? If you're gay then good for you really." Jason simply shrugged his shoulders once more. If anything he was more confused on why you thought he wouldn't be supportive.

"Thanks." You nodded softly, taking a bite from your burger. Boy did that not go as you had planned. But hey, one down how many more to go?

[aakaneeee]

ALNST: WHAT'S NEXT, MY PREDICTIONS, MY IDEAS.

(art by me)

We know technically nothing about what will follow, except that one of our contestants is becoming the human he never got to be, and the other is completely losing the humanity that made her, her.

But, I've had this idea of a frame that we could see, and I couldn't stop myself!

I feel like there will be a break in-universe between Wiege and what is next. I mean, Luka will probably need some medical procedures done, because I cannot imagine him being able to move on without his health suffering. Which makes me even more upset, because what if Heperu will see it as "disobeying", and punish him in the way only he knows?

I see him becoming a lot more human after Wiege, as I've said. I don't think he'll really want to do what Hyuna told him: I don't even see him wanting to live after this. I've had a small idea of him trying repeatedly to commit, but being "saved" by Heperu, but again, I have no basis, so these are just assumptions. It wouldn't be far off of Vivinos' alley, that's for sure.

I'd love for him and Mizi to team up, but honestly, I'm extremely 50/50 on whether it would happen or not. I have 2 ideas: either they do team up, somehow manage to get along, which would make sense for the "mizi loses everyone she loves" trope (if Luka would simply die without her caring, it wouldn't make so much sense for him to be the only one left with her), and possibly dies in an accident (I tend to believe in the "Mizi will blow everything up" theory, according to the Patreon post from while back), or because of his illnesses, or they don't team up, Round 5 is redone, and it's Mizi's time to mock him (which im not sure if she'll have the energy for).

I am hoping for the first one though, because I want Luka shown in a good light before he isn't alive anymore.

Another theory that I had, but it's not very likely, is that they don't end up killing Luka off because let's be honest, he'd be doing worse alive than dead. Again, it probably won't happen, but I think it would be a really painful route to take, to show that the worst possible outcome, at this point, isn't even death.

The thing is, I don't think we have to worry about Luka's death too soon. I am not sure about the probability of the others coming back. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised if it happens, than be disappointed if they are truly gone. So, if they don't come back, we'd have about 4, 5 episodes with the 2 characters left, so I don't think they can afford to kill him off yet. (Considering Round 6 was approximately the half of the series, and the Vol. 1 album's number of songs, that's the amount I calculated we'd have left.)

Honestly, this is the factor that makes me doubt most of my own theories: I don't know how they would be able make any of these possibilities that long.

Which brings in the idea we might have some videos about the Actor AU, or Modern AU? I don't really believe this, but it would be interesting. Anyways, whatever they have planned for these next episodes, is going to be huge.

I really liked the structure of Wiege: openly centered on Hyuluka, but shows the other pairs multiple times (which, again, ties to my analysis of Hyuluka representing all of them, from before and from what will follow.)

I think it's more plausible we'll get flashbacks from Season 49, like Hyuna's loss and how she went past the system, or Luka's absolute win and how he reacted. Anyways, I'd love to see more of them, since they are still very mysterious (but I'd say they are more known than Sua now).

I personally want to see the exact details of Hyunwoo's death. It's been insanely hyped, in my opinion, we see clips of it both in All-In and Wiege (I'd like to add how fond I am of the fact that both episodes that have Hyuna as center don't have a 'Round' name), but never outwardly shown, so it must be a pretty big plot twist, or revelation. I'm still a believer of the "Hyuna killed Hyunwoo" theory, albeit a bit more reserved now, but we do have that frame in Wiege where Luka is crying, clinging onto Hyuna, and Hyunwoo trying to break them apart. (I love the small showcase of his humanity.)

I might have more to say, so I will probably add onto this if I do, but for now, I can only say I cannot wait, and that I'm terrified for this week's ALNST friday.. I actually tried my best to finish this way before the ALNST friday, so I could say what I have to say completely blinded, and I'm excited to see what of this will be valid in the end :)

[babybearnation]

To contribute to the 100 asks, could you do Callum, Marcus, Paul and Pepe with "general smutty headcanons", whatever you feel like each driver would be into more?(I have no idea what to say without putting too much detail)

I'm so excited to read everything that comes out of this!!! I will be reading them all, probably multiple times each ❤️

four of my fave faves :D

switch!gn!reader (smutty headcanons)

switch!callum ilott:

not a particularly mean top, in fact he's very sweet and kind, and he always makes sure to lavish you in love and affection because he thinks you deserve all the pleasure you want

doesn't like it when you're bratty because he hates being upset with you and oftentimes will go really light on punishment as he doesn't like doing it

loves to fuck face to face, going slow and deep to make your eyes roll - it satisfies him to know that he pleases you

he's a tease but he's not super bratty - listens when you tell him to stop unless he's feeling particularly excitable that day

whimpers so much when you take him apart but he doesn't cry during any of it, just stares at you with sparkly eyes and spit slick parted lips

loves to see your serious face when he's annoying you because he thinks you look so hot and a hot you is a happy callum

not super good at or into sending pictures of himself but every single picture he receives from you is treasured and protected and inevitably the reason his phone gets cum on it

private plane sex is fucking surprisingly common - you two have been caught more than once though

switch!marcus armstrong:

absolute mean tease of a top even when you're nothing but good to him - he really loves to make you beg tbh

when you are bratty, however, marcus isn't sure what to do cause like.. on one hand, he could just punish you but on the other hand, did he do something wrong to make you act like this?

loves to pick you up and fuck you against a wall because he knows his strength does things to you (and the fact that he can even do it does things to him)

biggest brat ever like come on, are we shocked? he literally begs for punishment with every single snarky comment that comes out of his mouth!

thinks you're so fucking hot when you're angry with him so he'll always try and tip you over the edge, eagerly anticipating how you'll punish him this time

the number one way to get him to apologise for being a brat is to overstimulate him - milk him dry and he'll finally be a good boy for you

always sending you videos of him getting off because he knows they drive you crazy

paddock sex is so fucking common and he's been told off for it but he legit doesn't care

switch!paul aron:

very kind and giving top who knows when to be firm and punish you for being a brat

knows exactly how to wind you up and beg for him when you're being bratty because he just ignores you and does stuff that he knows turns you on

mirror sex happens often and he loves to force you to look at your reflection to see how fucked you are

never once bratty because he just loves to please you plus you always praise him so well and he loves that more than anything

won't admit it but he loves being made to sit and wait for you to pay him attention, especially when he wants to turn his brain off because this is such an easy way to do it

always pay attention to his face when you are in control because he'll have the sweetiest, rosiest hue on his cheeks ever

loves having dirty conversations over texts but is too shy to do it in person so make sure you have those convos in person always

loves photos that seem innocent at first but are actually extremely horny and not at all sfw upon further inspection

switch!pepe marti:

a confident top who knows he makes you feel good but he never gives in to your wishes too easily when you're bratting

doesn't like it when you're bratty because he doesn't like having to punish you but you're always sweet in your apologies so he melts into your trap every time

loves to fuck you from behind, either with you back arched and your hips lifted up or with your back pressed against his chest

he's a tease and can be occasionally bratty if he gets jealous, and he loves how you treat him like a dumb puppy when he's trying to tease you

not very vocal when he tops but when you're in control, he's such a whiny baby and it's fucking adorable (if a little loud)

even though he prefers to fuck you from behind when he tops, he actually gets really upset if he can't see your face when you're on top because he loves you so much :(

always down for phone sex - he thinks its so hot especially if there is a risk of one of you being overheard

films videos of you two having sex and has a hidden, well protected folder on his computer of all of the videos for when he's alone

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[ranting-writer]

To say Dirk didn't want to be there was a massive understatement.

He'd been minding his own business in his corner of the meteor, tinkering with some random piece of machinery he'd found. Then suddenly, they were passing through dream bubbles again, and his room had become his old apartment's living room.

Well, a version of it.

Smuppets and puppets littered the floor, empty apple juice bottles and soda cans were piled in a box, and the air smelled of stale cigarette smoke and week old Monsters. The sounds of a skateboarding game came from the TV in the living room corner, and cresting over the back of the futon was a familiar shade of strawberry blonde poking up under a black hat.

It wasn't until he'd stepped around the futon that he realized who this was.

Him.

Dave's him, anyway.

Dirk "Bro" Strider, the man, the myth, the douchebag himself.

Bro didn't seem to realize Dirk's presence at the end of the couch. If he did, he didn't show it, engrossed in his Xbox.

Bro at once seemed both nothing like Dave's descriptions, but yet every bit like them. When asked about Bro, Dave had given a clearly rehearsed spiel about how cool the guy was. "Aw shit yeah, dude," he'd said. "Bro's, like, the epitome of cool. The god damned Emperor of Irony, and King Shit of Puppet Island. Best ventriloquist rapper in the game."

And, yeah, sure, this guy definitely had an air of "cool" around him. Typical cool guy markers. Shades, a cool hat (everyone knows a good hat adds hella levels to the Cool-Guyometer), a nonchalant demeanor...

Yeah.

He was cool.

Yet, something inside Dirk's stomach gnawed on itself, twisting in knots to get at its own tail. This man before him was a manifestation of all the wrong he could do. Bro was the epitome of who Dirk was or could reasonably be. Manipulative. Cold. Shut off and shut down. Abusive.

" 'Ey. You good there, lil dude?"

The light southern drawl pulled Dirk out of his anxious spiral and he jumped a bit, looking at Bro. Bro hadn't moved an inch.

"Huh?"

"I said, you good?"

Dirk blinked dumbly as he tried to process the question. That was definitely his voice, but lower and raspy, like Bro was a-? Oh, yeah, there it is. Bro was definitely a smoker if the absent tapping of a pack of cigarettes on his thigh during a cutscene was an indicator.

"Yeah," Dirk finally replied. "I'm fine."

Bro nodded absently. He still hadn't looked over. What was this guy's deal?

Before, Dirk hadn't quite understood why his lack of movement, or lack facial expression had unnerved Dave so much, but he was beginning to understand.

Bro spoke again, gesturing to the empty spot next to him. "Then pop a squat, Dirk."

Dirk reluctantly sat, not having much else to do besides tinker again. Maybe this could be an opportunity to learn something about himself, or maybe Dave.

"Aren't you 'Dirk' too?", he asked, curling up as far from Bro as possible. The man was uncomfortable to be close to, if he was being honest with himself.

Bro shrugged a bit. "Depends," he answered. "Who's asking and why?"

Dirk frowned slightly. What the hell did that mean? Two seconds in, he was already confused and annoyed.

"Well, I'm asking, obviously."

"Then it's D', or Bro. Either works fine for me."

Dirk hummed, looking at the TV screen.

What the hell was he supposed to ask? What was your life like? Did you have a good family? Do you use labels for your sexuality, or do you care? Do you like robots?

Unfortunately, what fell out of his face was, "Why is Dave scared of us?"

Bro paused his game and stared ahead.

Dirk flinched a bit.

Oh he fucked up. Perhaps he was going to get first hand evidence as to why Dave winced when he moved, why Dave never looked directly at him...

But nothing happened, not for a long moment.

After a bit, Bro started playing again, speaking lowly. "It ain't you, it's me," he said, voice tight, like he was upset. "I scare him, not you."

Dirk huffed a bit. "Yeah, but why?"

Bro shook his head, pausing his game again. "Are you wanting a verbal answer, or a demonstration?"

Dirk stared a bit as Bro finally looked over. What was this freak on about? What kind of demonstration? Dirk's lips tightened into a line, thinking about what the hell that could possibly mean.

He hoped it wasn't something utterly unforgivable...

Bro, seemingly impatient with Dirk, huffed and stood. "You pop by for a chat," he drawled. "And you can't even hold the damn conversation to save your life." He opened the window and took a cigarette from the pack.

Absently, Dirk realized there was no ashtray about as he answered. "Would you even be able to tell me?", he asked.

Bro shrugged as he lit the cigarette. "I can give you my best guess," he replied. "You could leave it to Dave to fill in the gaps or whatever the hell he'd do."

There was something almost affectionate in Bro's voice when he said Dave's name. Was he proud of Dave? Possibly. Dirk was certainly proud of Dave.

A long silence passed between the two Striders in the dream room, long enough that Dirk thought the bubble might pass before their conversation finished. Luckily, Bro finally spoke up again.

"Would you believe me if I said I genuinely believed I was doing right by him?"

Dirk looked over at Bro's back. Would he believe that? Probably. Dirk himself acted oddly, even badly, towards others in the attempt to help them improve or grow. Brobot, for example, was literally designed to help Jake learn to protect himself and get combat experience in a controlled manner. Ignoring the fact that the robot was also a bizarre attempt at flirting of course...

Bro continued without an answer. "I knew about the game a little, we all did. Rox, Harley, Mrs. Egbert and her son... We all knew. We had to prepare the kids for what was to come."

Dirk hummed as Bro took a drag of his cigarette. "So, what," he began. "You tortured and abused him to, what? Teach him something?"

Bro shrugged noncommittally. "Eh, more or less I guess."

"You kicked him down the fucking stairs."

Dirk really needed to recognize when to shut the hell up. First the question itself, now the angry blurting out? Jeeze, he really needed to take a chill pill. He could defend himself if it came to a fight, sure, but he wasn't sure he wanted to see what this version of him was capable of with twice the lifetime of training.

Bro turned to look at Dirk, something angry in his demeanor. "You try it," he snipped. "You try being 20 fucking years old and suddenly having to be a father without support. Most I had was fucking Dennis, and that guy was borderline useless."

Dirk stared blankly. "...Just because you were 20, without help, doesn't mean you should have treated Dave that way," he retorted. "Dave trusted you for love, support, and affection. You gave him a bruise in the shape of your foot on his sternum at least once."

Suddenly, Bro seemed to vanish. Dirk stood sharply, swearing. He was familiar with his own flash step, but he wasn't accustomed to someone else doing it.

As suddenly as Bro vanished, he reappeared in front of Dirk, making the younger Strider fall back onto the futon. He put his foot up, lightly pressing it into Dirk's chest. "Yeah, yeah I did," he drawled, almost sounding bored were it not for the tenseness in his shoulders. "I left a lot of bruises on him, left a lot of scrapes from the roof."

Dirk squirmed a bit as the pressure on his chest increased as Bro leaned down.

"I was trying to teach him skills he needed to survive that damn game, to persevere and do shit like help your sorry ass."

From the new angle, Dirk could see through Bro's shades. A familiar orange color, perhaps a bit more gold than his own. But more than their color, Bro's eyes were slightly widened. Not enough to really raise his eyebrows over his shades, but it made him look unhinged. Like something in his head had snapped a bit and he was one more comment away from losing his cool.

Was this how others viewed Dirk? As one little thing away from losing it and pinning people to futons under his foot?

Was this an angle Dave had seen Bro from? And, shit, if it was, Dave wasn't the height then that he is now. Dirk frowned as he pictured a much smaller Dave, maybe shaking and scared, with Bro's heavy sneaker pressed into his tiny abdomen. Dirk wouldn't be surprised if crying in fear was one of the things Bro scared Dave from doing earliest.

Bro muttered, "Dave needed to be independent and able, and willing, to draw blood to save his own ass. He needed to be smart, adaptable, and able to feed himself. I couldn't, in good conscience, let him grow up and be scared of weapons or pain. He couldn't be afraid of surprises or the obscene. He needed to have the skills to fucking survive."

So, here were Bro's reasons.

Honestly....

Probably not unlike the reasons Dirk himself would have given had he been in that situation.

And that tore Dirk up inside.

Was he truly so capable of disregarding the actual feelings and affection of a child in favor of hurting them for a long term goal? Was he really so callous and cruel?

Was he really capable of putting a shoe print bruise into the chest of someone he loved?

And that actually brought up a new question...

"Did you even love Dave?"

Bro's eyes sort of slumped into grief before vanishing behind the shades again as Bro pulled away. Bro sighed, "Obviously."

"He doesn't seem to know that."

"He does know that. He's a smart kid, he-".

"Did you ever tell him? Like, outright, 'hey, man, I love you'? Or was it more like, you bought him apple juice and his collectables and thought he could infer from there?"

Bro sat back down, grumbling. "I don't know, okay?"

Dirk let out a little puff of relief as Bro plopped down. He did not like being on the receiving end of a threatening bespatted shoe. Bespatted? Was that a word? Either way, Bro wore spats and that was ominous on its own.

The two sat in silence for a time, ignoring each other, but eventually, Bro mumbled. "Dave was all I had..."

Dirk looked over, curious and confused. Didn't Bro say he had... Who was it? Dennis? Who the hell was that, anyway?

Bro sighed, taking off his hat and shades. He rubbed his face with his hands then left his hands over his eyes, unwilling to look at Dirk. "Sure, my buddy Dennis was around..." Ah, Dennis again. Cool. Cool. New info maybe.

"But he was really only about to help with Game Bro," Bro continued. "And he hated it when Dave cried. Once told me I should lock him in the bedroom to get him to stop."

Bro dropped his hands to let them rest in his lap, letting Dirk see his face for what it was. Sunken cheeks, heavy eyes bags resting under feral orange eyes, freckles dusting his nose, and a few pockmarks on his cheeks. His crooked, broken Roman nose sat almost... Blandly on his face, instead of standing out beautifully. Dirk absently touched his nose, wondering if his was as improperly healed as Bro's from Sawtooth breaking it at least once...

"I know I wasn't 'Dad of the Year', or whatever," Bro muttered as he stared off. "But I would have given anything for that kid. I wasn't warm or cuddly with him for the most part, but... Fuck, I would have sooner burned the world and myself than watch him be harmed in any real way."

And somehow... Dirk believed him.

He understood how it felt to truly care for someone, to want them safe, and to be willing to destroy himself and everything for one person. At one point, maybe that was Jake, but now? Maybe it was Dave, just like it was for Bro. Dirk sighed a bit. "You should consider telling him these things, man," he said. "He doesn't exactly realize how much you gave a shit."

Bro didn't respond, not to that part anyway. He slipped his shades back on and turned back to his game. "Dirk," he started. "Make the best of our second chance. I fucked up our first one. Be a better man than I am."

Dirk stared a bit, swallowing as the meteor began to full pass through the bubble. "I... I'll try."

Bro nodded and then, Dirk was left alone, his room his once again.

[bewarethegrim]

Roy and Jamie would absolutely accidentally fall into a total power exchange relationship without noticing. One day after 4am training, Roy, without thinking, tells Jamie "The blue headband." And without hesitation Jamie picks the blue headband from his collection that has gathered at Roy's.

And it's the little things, right? Roy is already in charge of Jamie's meal plan, so it just makes sense that he cook for Jamie, since he knows his nutrition plan better than anyone. Roy is already training Jamie privately in the mornings, and with his new role as assistant coach, it just made sense that he paid a bit of extra attention to Jamie and his workouts, and Jamie was known to overwork himself, so it just made sense that Jamie only work out while Roy was around, watching him to make sure he didn't over do it.

And one day on their day off, and Ruth had just picked up Phoebe who'd just spent the day playing in the yard with Jamie while Roy rested his knee and did reports, that something in his mind clicked.

Jamie spent almost every moment of his day with Roy now. He slept over at Roy's so he could sleep an extra 20 minutes before 4am training, and since he arrives to work with Roy, Roy brings him home- his home that is. And Roy tells Jamie to go stretch out while he makes dinner. After dinner, he has Jamie take a proper shower, and while he does, Roy lays out the clothes for Jamie to wear to bed.

And in all that time, months at this point, and at no point has Jamie asked for a night away (and isn't that an interesting thought, that Jamie would ask to go out, ask permission, like he belonged to Roy. And maybe he did in a way) But Jamie *hadn't* which means that Jamie had gone on a date or slept with anyone in months.

"Jamie?"

Jamie looks over from where he's sitting at the kitchen island, hands wrapped around a mug of tea. "Yeah, Coach?"

"Why haven't you gone out on any dates recently?"

And Jamie pauses. He looks, genuinely confused for a moment.

"You haven't told me I could." And Jamie says that as if it's a totally normal thing for your coach to decide when you're allowed to go out on dates.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Roy demands, feeling off kilter in this conversation.

Jamie shrugs. "Ever since I just let you decide what I do, life's just been easier, innit?"

Something dark and possessive curls in Roy's chest at that. He'd made Jamie's life better by being in control. He'd always been overbearing, especially in relationships, but maybe. Maybe they just hadn't been Jamie.

"Do you want me to start going on dates?" Jamie asks, something mischievous in his tone, but there was something else. Hope? No that wasn't right. Desperation, maybe. But for what, Roy didn't know.

"And if I told you no more dates? Indefinitely?" Roy decides to test the limits. How far would Jamie allow him to push?

Jamie shrugged. "Already been doing that, haven't I?"

And Jamie is so smug, looking so proud of himself. Roy has to take him down, just a little.

"What if I told you that you couldn't cum without my permission?" And oh, that's an interesting reaction. Jamie's eyes flutter and his cheeks redden deeply. He swallows before saying "Whatever you think is best, Coach."

And at some point, Roy has entered Jamie's space. He brings one hand, much steadier than he feels, to Jamie's chin. He's taking a risk, as calculated as it is.

"And if I told you only I could make you cum?" And Jamie melts, big eyes looking up at Roy like he held all the answers, and maybe to Jamie, he did.

"Please..." Jamie whimpers, his hands coming to wrap around the fabric of Roy's shirt.

And Roy has to take a deep breath, he needed to think rationally. He steps away from Jamie, and tries not to crumble at the pathetic sound Jamie makes as he does.

"Jamie-"

"Please Roy, I'll be good I promise? And I have been, haven't I? Doing everything you tell me to."

Roy is back, bringing Jamie close to his chest. "Yeah you have, Jamie. I'm not upset with you, never with you my good boy." He pauses. "Not anymore, anyways." He teases, and it works because he feels Jamie laugh.

"I just need to be clear, what we're doing, what we are. Am I just your coach? Or do you want more from me?"

This time it's Jamie who pulls back as he scoffs. "You haven't been just me coach in months." He looks a little bashful. "Always had a thing for ya, even when ya hated me and I lived to piss you off. You've seen the stupid poster in me room back home."

Jamie finally meets Roy's eyes, brave as ever, his boy. "I want to be your boyfriend, or partner. If ya want that too."

Roy smiles, letting Jamie nuzzle into his hand. "That is what I want, Jamie. More than anything."

"And to keep telling me what to do?"

And Roy laughs but nods. "Whatever my boy needs."

And a month or so later, Keely comes over and witnesses how they act with each other at home, and realises that oh my god you idiots are in a TPE relationship and cue Roy doing in depth research, printing out contracts and establishing safe words. Jamie happily does whatever Roy asks of him, just like he always does. And Jamie knows he could've said no at any point in this, in fact he had, when Roy tried to get him to eat mushrooms (he had limits!) but he knows the safe words makes Roy feel better, knowing how much power he has over Jamie. And if it makes Roy happy, Jamie is happy to do it.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: BENDIS. PART 3. 

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

Part 1 HERE. 

Part 2 HERE. 

This is the final bit! The last three! You ready? I can’t stress how much you aren’t ready for this. 

Issue #10

This cover is kinda meh. They could have done better. Maleev really likes drawing those steel beams though. He went “Man, you know what’s fun and cool? BEAMS.” I can respect that. 

Alright. Reading the title page to make sure nothing else changed when I wasn't looking... 

Looks the same. Just an added line. 

"In the ensuing battle through the streets of Los Angeles, Echo dies at the hand of Nefaria and Moon Knight falls into an uncontrollable berserker rage." 

Makes it sound cooler than it actually IS. 

So we get the same picture we left off with in the last issue only this time they've edited in a dead Echo at the forefront. I don't need to show you that. Seems like they could have given us something different and just used one of the alternate images for dramatic effect. 

We get a collage of action. We see bloody claws, glowing Count eyes attacking, blood across Marc's chest, red explosions, Marc screaming, more blood, and a dead Echo. 

It's dramatic and has a certain flow to it. It does encapsulate Marc's current state of mind pretty well. 

And then... 

We cut to a street and see a TAXI CAB. And a man in a flat cap!!!!! 

….I swear my heart just skipped a beat and I got SOOOOOO fucking excited and then I remembered what was actually happening and now I'm just MAD again. Because… Even after ALL THAT. After everything that happened in the last issues… If somehow…SOMEHOW…Jake suddenly actually stepped in and then we saw Steven… It would have saved this. That Marc didn’t need Fake Cap and Wolverine and Spider-Man. That what he needed all this time was right there… Sure, it still would have been messy, but it could have been explained as Marc breaking down and Fictives coming in or Persecutors or SOMETHING. And I’m sitting here crying because THAT could have been good. And instead we get…THIS. 

Because...This isn't the TV show. This is real. 

"What have you been doing all night, Marlene?" 

He asks Marlene. 

"Waiting for you, Steven." 

ALRIGHT. Let's break this down page by page. 

So Bendis is FINALLY acknowledging that Jake, Marc, and Steven all exist. 

We see Jake coming home in his cab to Marlene. 

It's very reminiscent of Moench. Jake takes them home. Jake always takes them home. There's something to that. 

And once he walks into the house with Marlene, he's no longer Jake. Jake very rarely liked interacting with Marlene, much less hanging out in any of their posh homes. 

And just like in Moench's run, she addresses him as Steven. She always waited for Steven. 

She asks who they destroyed this time. 

He says that isn't fair. 

And it isn't fair. But Marlene started to get bitter towards them in the end. She suffered her own losses and she started to blame him for them. She always hated Marc and loved Steven. And Marc destroyed so much of their life. 

We see Moon Knight asking to go in, but we see the Avenger's masks in the background. 

Notice how Wolverine is on top. 

Marc assumes that Frenchie is the one in the costume. He knows Frenchie left him a long time ago. His oldest and closest friend. The only one that knew Marc Spector as Marc Spector. 

The insistence that "SOMEONE" has to go out because they don't know what's happening implies that someone else is in control and they are all locked out. 

The costume is empty. He doesn't know who'se wearing it. He doesn't know who is inside it. Maybe no one. 

He's confused because he's lost control of his own situation and lost control of everything. 

Because it doesn't matter who he tries to be, who he loves, or what he does... Marc Spector still "Ruins everything he touches." 

He wakes up in a hospital bed, RESTRAINED to the bed with a security guard outside. 

The implication is pretty obvious. And honestly, this is something Marc has dealt with before. And probably something that brings back a lot of bad memories for him. 

He's waking up somewhere he doesn't know where he is, he can't remember how he got there, he doesn't know what happened, he doesn't know who has been out, and he's locked up. 

He's able to make a phone call. 

Detective Hall shows up! 

"Where is he?" 

"He's down the hall." 

"Has he said anything?" 

"He's in pretty bad shape." 

"When do his prints come back from the lab?" 

"Prints?" 

"You didn't fingerprint him? A costumed hero lies dead and bloody in the street and you don't print him?" 

"He's in bad shape. We thought--No one said--" 

"You have Moon Knight in custody. And you didn't think to PRINT him." 

Remember, Hall is from NY. He's familiar with who Moon Knight is. What he can do. What he's known to do. 

"We--We secured the hallway. We have all of the other patients moved to other floors. I mean, it's not like we were--" 

Hall turns the corner to find at least five guards and staff knocked out in the hall, and Moon Knight's room and bed empty. 

Slowly the other officers start to get dizzy and also fall over. The hall has been gassed! 

Hey it’s Buck! 

I appreciate Buck. 

Buck: "Let's move along now..." 

Marc: "I'm beginning to love you, Buck." 

Buck: "Well, that takes the sting off the fact that I know I'm going to hell for this. I just sleep-gassed a hospital." 

Marc: "Seriously...Thank you." 

Buck: "The girl didn't make it." 

Marc: "I told her--I told her to run." 

Buck: "I ain't blamin' you. She's a big girl. I'm just saying." 

Marc: "This is going to...haunt me for a while." 

Buck: "Imagine how she feels." 

Marc: "What happened to...@$@@ing Count Nefaria?" 

We head to some place where we find the Count in pretty bad shape and having a tantrum. 

The...I don't know what this guy is.. Butler? We're going to go with butler. The butler tells the Count's visitor that "He's going to need a minute. It's been a very rough night." 

LOL I bet he had a rough night. Moon Knight tends to do that to people. Moon Knight beaten up and bleeding? Imagine what the other guy looks like. 

"From what I understand, this Moon Knight character got in what can only be called a lucky shot. He stabbed Lucino just as he was preparing a fatal blow. The blow backfired. The police arrived to find Lucino struggling to regain his...Composure. You see, he is not a young man. Containing this kind of power is a true effort in the best circumstances. That's why he needs you." 

We get the identity of the visitor and...Ugh. Okay. THIS Villainess I know. 

Madame Masque. 

If I know her, why don't I know the Count? These are the questions I ask myself. 

She's apparently his DAUGHTER. 

Some of you more well read comic fans may recognize her or her name. ALRIGHT. She was created by Stan Lee and co. back in 1967. Originally named Giulietta Nefaria, but later changed to Whitney Frost. 

She's the daughter of Count Nefaria...And she's historically been the occasional love interest of Tony Stark, Iron Man. 

(Yeah... Tony gets around ALMOST as much as Matt Murdock. ....almost.) 

Originally she wore a golden mask to cover her disfigured face. Her face has since healed, but she still wears the mask. 

Apparently her mother died giving birth to her and the Count wanted her to live a respectable life so he adopted her out to Byron Frost, who worked for Nefaria. 

She's had some back and forth with being a villainess and showing compassion to the heroes (mostly Tony. She’s got a love hate going on with Tony). 

All that aside, we head back to Marc's mansion. 

Marc is listening to his voice mails. 

His assistant is calling to check up to see if he's still alive since she hasn't heard from him in a while. 

He's still healing and in pain. It was a pretty hard fight, after all. Not to mention Echo... 

Wolverine shows up and tells Marc to get up. 

"I can't. You're the reason I'm here!" 

"You're the reason you're here, Bub. You better get up because I guarantee you, Nefaria is up and looking for YOU." 

"And what would you hae me do?!" 

"Finish what you started." 

"I hate you." 

"I don't care. Finish what you started. He's got an Ultron. You're an Avenger. Echo was an Avenger. Avenge her. Save this city." 

Honestly, Marc needs time. He never gives himself time. And for once, Marc is in bed TRYING to give himself time. Trying to feel things and heal and he isn't getting to. I feel for him. 

We head over to the morgue where an autopsy is being done on Echo. I don't need to show you these pictures. 

The doctors discuss who has authority over her body. FBI or the LAPD who brought her in. 

Just as they are about to start, Madame Masque busts in and shoots everyone. 

She recognizes Echo's body, but can't place who she is. 

She finds the weapon staff that Buck outfitted with Vibranium. 

It's a lead and she calls her people to check the black market for rescent buys. She's going to trace it back to Marc. 

We head to the police HQ to find the Detective Hall interviewing Snapdragon again. 

He has a still image of Madame Masque in the morgue. He asks her to identify her. 

Snapdragon does so. Noting that "Her and her dad have what you'd call a strained relationship." 

Snapdragon urges Detective Hall to either bust the Count quickly or get her out of there because she's terrified of Madame Masque and she's a sitting duck there. 

Detective says he's doing his best, but there are stops in place above him. 

We head back to Marc's place. We see Buck parking outside and about to open the garage when he notices red dots, indicating he's in someone's sights. 

"Son of a--" He reaches for his gun. 

"Rrr! N'me!" 

"What?" 

"Don't worry about me! She got the Ultron head! She has Ultron! It's out in the open!" 

Poor Buck. 

Poor Marc. It’s about to get a lot worse for him. 

END ISSUE. Two more to go. 

The hospital scene gets to me. They find Moon Knight near death in the street next to a badly injured Count and a dead Echo and they cuff him to the bed. And then Bendis BLATANTLY showing us Jake. Letting us know that he’s aware of Steven and Jake and that they DO in fact exist in this story, but he’s not going to give them to us? That they just aren’t there? Also, Did you see how wonderful that cap looked? HOW WONDERFUL THAT JAKE LOOKED?! I will forever be angry that we are denied Maleev drawing us Jake or Steven. …And giving Marc a Goatee when Jake isn’t there to enjoy it. >:(

ISSUE #11! 

There the guys are staring again. 

But I DO like this cover. Black and white and the single pillar in the middle. It's a cover of mourning. 

And the folds in that cape? LOOK AT THAT CAPE. 

Marc's in for a bad time. It's about to get REALLY bad for him. 

Alright title page... Oh look, they're changing it just enough to make his deal with Echo even more potent. 

"He has teamed up with (and fallen in love with) another former Avenger, Echo.

Echo dies at the hand of Nefaria, driving Moon Knight off the deep end and setting him on a course for bloody vengeance. Before he can do that, however, Nefaria's daughter, the assassin Madame Masque, breaks into Spector's house and steals the head of Ultron..." 

Not to mention shooting Buck. I hope Buck survives. I like Buck. 

We open on SHIELD Helicarrier 1000 Feet over the Pacific Ocean. 

Hey, it's commander Hill! Nick Fury's right hand man and replacement after he died/ranoff/did his thing (dude does all of the above SO MANY TIMES all the time). 

Moon Knight is trying to call SHIELD. 

"They're using one of Captain America's secure lines." 

"Moon Knight." 

"It's coming from the Los Angeles Area. He's using old codes. From a discharged agent by the name of Buck Lime." 

"Okay, well, put him through. This should be annoying." 

I hate how much no one respects him and thinks of him as just that crazy guy that causes problems.

First of all, RUDE. She knows exactly who Moon Knight is and what his problems are. He had a psych eval when he joined the Avengers the FIRST time. You know she’s read the file. 

Second of all, Captain America should have informed SHIELD of the Count’s actions and locations just in case things DID get out of control. He seems like the sort of villain that they’d want to know the location of at all times, even if he wasn’t being active! 

She berates him for losing the Head, even though the plan was approved by Captain America. 

Buck tells htem that he put a tracker in the head, but when she blew up the garage, the responder was also blown up. He needs them to pick up the signal and send it to them. 

"No. You give ME the signal and I'll send a battalion of Hulkbuster Agents down there to--" 

"All due respect, but I think a lighter touch is needed." Marc makes excellent decisions. 

"Oh, you do? Says the man who 'lost' an Ultron." 

Back with Madame Masque, we see her with the Ultron head. She calls her father to tell him she has it. 

But... "I won't be meeting you. No. Not until you tell me the plan. What do you plan on doing with a homicidal artificlal intelligence you can't possibly control?" 

He tells her the plan (We don't get to hear it) and she suddenly changes her mind. 

"I didn't know that. No. Oh. Okay. Yes sir. I'll see you soon." 

Just as she's about to pack up and head out, a shadow catches her eye. 

Moon Knight pounces from above. 

He attacks with the shield, the webbing, and the claws. 

Wolverine yells to cut her and finish it. 

Marc forces her to get up close and personal and they both take some hard hits. 

Just when it looks like she has the upper hand, she looks back and suddenly realizes the Ultron head is gone! 

Buck has snatched it and is running away. 

Moon Knight manages to distract her until Buck makes it to the car and starts to drive away, her running after him. 

Moon Knight is still recovering from his earlier injuries so he's slower to get up and give chase. 

"Agh! Okay. That really hurt-" 

Wolverine: "Shut up and get up!" 

Madame Masque manages to shoot out his tires and stall his car. When he doesn't get out of the car, she starts trying to shoot his gas tank. 

Gas is now dripping heavily from his car and there are sparks all over. 

A silver Crescent shape appears above her and she shoots it up. 

It's just a cape! 

Spiderwebbing wraps up her guns and Moon Knight attacks. 

Just as he strikes, the car explodes, sending them both flying. 

Ah yes, the seeing the dead girlfriend telling you not to let her death be in vain and to make it mean something trope. 

Marc wakes up and forces himself to move just as Madame Masque is about to stab him. 

I'd again like to remind you that Marc Spector is specially trained in hand to hand combat. Everyone goes on about "Oh yeah this villain is a skilled fighter!" but they still don't have the training Marc has. Marc didn't just wake up one day and put on the mask with a little boxing degree under his belt. 

Boxing, street fighting, Army/Marines, Special ops, SHIELD, underground fight rings and cage fighting...And THEN his years of Mercenary training and how to get out of shit situations because he puts himself in BAD situations constantly and has to dig himself out. 

Not just that, he's a stubborn asshole who would 'rather take the punch than learn to duck' as Taskmaster once said. (My favorite depiction of Marc.) 

So a scary lady like Madame Masque means nothing to him. 

And I appreciate that Bendis and Maleev recognize this. Another point in their corner. (Unlike with Bendis and Burrow who showed him getting his ass handed to him by some no one over and over again.)

“And that’s why you don’t steal from the craziest Avenger on the West-” 

Marc, don't encourage this. 

Marc takes off her mask and finds a beautiful perfect face. 

"She doesn't even need the mask. She's crazier than you are." Wolverine snerks. 

What's this? Echo has joined the commentary. Is she a 'voice/personality' now too? 

"Well done, Spector. Don't forget Buck. ANd the Ultron Head." But why does she speak like Captain America? 

"Oh No...Buck." 

Marc finds Buck laying next to the exploded car. 

"Oh no. Not you too, Buck. Not you too. I'm so..." 

Buck turns around with his gun at the ready. "NGYAA!" 

"HO!" 

"AGH!" 

"It's okay. It's me." 

"Whee is--Did you--?"

"I got her." 

"That--!" 

The police arrive via Helicopter and Marc tells them it's time to go. 

He helps Buck get up and they make a run for it. 

And I must say… The writing between Buck and Marc is top notch. I appreciate the humor they have. The banter. Even Marc poking fun at himself. He’s relaxing around Buck and you don’t see him do that often with people. He’s told Buck that he has problems and Buck still accepts him (even though he hasn’t really said the full extent of his problems). I’m going to give Bendis another point for giving us Buck. 

Thank you Buck. 

Back with the Count! He's watching the breaking news on TV about the latest thing with Moon Knight. 

The Local police arrive at his place. They have a warrant and subpoena. 

"There's quite a few of them. They said it had something to do with Moon Knight." 

"Moon Knight..." Yeah... Count is learning what it means to get Moon Knight under your skin. 

Do you have any idea HOW MANY major marvel hitters have come up across Moon Knight and gone, "Please. Let me face ANYONE...ANYONE...but Moon Knight again." They'd rather fight the Hulk than end up in Moon Knight's sights again. 

Even if they 'won' or kicked his ass... At what cost? This man knows how to be a PROBLEM. It's what he's best at. Marc Spector: professional problem. 

Anyways, END ISSUE. ONE TO GO. 

ANd this is the problem. I liked that issue. It was fun, it was quirky, it had Buck, it had Moon Knight doing what he does best. But then you add in the Wolverine aspect and also the discrimination and then the potential that Echo is ALSO now joined his voices/personalities in his head? 

LAST ISSUE

Issue #12! 

I really love his use of grays and whites. And he draws a fantastic moon. The framing of this image is just spot on. 

Alright. Let's get this bread. 

On the title page! 

We got the usual false info on the start of Moon Knight (I can't believe they changed the story and how wrong they made it.) 

The usual bit about his TV show, Count Nefaria, his hidden new split personality disorder (LOL no). His love with Echo and her death... 

And lastly we have him "ruthlessly" dispatching Madame Masque to get the Ultron head back. 

Then the police catching up with Count Nefaria and making him even more pissed at Moon Knight. 

HERE WE GO! 

We open with the police serving the warrant and trying to get into the house to find the Count. 

Just then, the COunt takes off, flying away and destroying a Police copter in the process. Which was totally unnecessary cause they were just there for light and had no weapons. 

Back at police HQ, Snapdragon hears about the Count getting away and tells the police they had a deal to get her out of there. 

The captain goes to get her. It's time to transport her to protective custody. 

And then the Count shows up. 

"Captain Quaid. You and I had a deal. Payments were made." 

Yeah, that's what I thought. 

The Captain tells the officers to stand down. 

There's an argument and the Count laser eye blasts the Captain to death. The police open fire and Snapdragon takes cover. 

He's pretty pissed at Snapdragon, telling her that he hadn't plan to leave her there to rot after all. That he was going to get her out later and she betrayed him. 

As he's ranting, someone comes up behind him. "Hey, Nefaria..." 

The art here. The action pose. The detail in the rubble… The SASS. The absolute frustration that someone as small time as Moon Knight is this much of a problem. 

This gives me joy. 

Also, in the last Issue, Marc's outfit was pretty torn up. And the issue before that his outfit was pretty torn up. 

He must keep on hand SO MANY outfits. Not to mention capes. 

So here we are again... Marc going up against an over powered villain up close and personal. 

You know what his only advantage is? 

(Look at him. Sitting there on all that rubble like a trouble maker. )

The fact that he is such a problem. 

"Marc Spector: Profession Problem" really should be on his business cards. 

While the Count is distracted by Moon Knight, Snapdragon takes up hier own offense. She shoots at the Count then opens fire on Moon Knight too. 

"Nice. Real nice." He blocks her blows with his shield. 

Then we see Wolverine and the newest member to the innacurate Headmate group: Echo. 

Echo has taken up the voice of reason, since Wolverine killed off Captain America and Spider-man in a previous issue, I guess? 

"Tell him it's time to make a deal." 

Marc tries to make a deal with Nefaria. "Kill me and you'll never get the head of Ultron. And I mean NEVER." 

He then tells him that he's going to lose his empire, his daughter, and his west coast bragging rights. 

Yeah... Count isn't listening. He's pretty enraged. 

It’s kinda funny really. Like he can’t even believe he’s never considered that Moon Knight could ever be his problem.

(Dude’s starting to sound like talking to me must sound like.) 

Moon Knight keeps his paces, but this dude is fast and strong. 

He snaps the claws apart then throws Moon Knight around a bit. 

"Here's what's going to happen according to me. You're going to give me my Ultron head. You're going to give it to me and then you are going to pay off the sizable debt you've racked up. Not with money...but with service. Do I need to explain myself again?" 

He trashes Marc around a bit, ripping up that nice new outfit. 

"And maybe I won't kill you like I killed your little Girlfriend. You have no idea what's at stake here, boy. You have no idea how important that head is." 

Marc tells him that the head is outside. in the parking lot. "No more killing...No more..." 

So the Count drags Marc out of the station to the lot. 

"Yeah, he called the Avengers." 

Oh look! The Avengers! Who we got on the team today? Let's see... Thor, Wolverine, Spiderwoman, Captain Marvel, Beast, Iron Man and...Someone I don't recognize. And they've also apprehended Snapdragon too. 

And Marc, bless his Sass... 

Beaten to a pulp he looks up at the Count: "You see them too, right?" 

Now, according to the things I looked up so I could figure out just WHO the Count is.. He's fought Thor more than a few times and it was mostly an even match, but Thor usually got an upper hand. 

The Count goes on the attack and Thor lays him out with a good ol' Thor hammer. 

Marc takes the opprotunity to crawl over to him. "That's for Echo, you son of a bitch." 

And he punches out the Count. 

And that would be great if that was it. But it isn't. 

We head back to Marc's partially blown up house. 

Tony Stark wants to see the head. 

Marc hands it over. "Ta-Dah!" 

"It's the real damn deal." 

"Thanks for coming to take it off our hands, Stark." 

"Hey, thanks for keeping it out of that nut job's hands. Thanks for calling us when you did. Sorry we didn't get there five minutes faster." 

"What did Nefaria want with it?" 

And Tony tells him. 

Ultron is a highly advanced artificial intelligence that is far smarter than any of them and keeps getting smarter. It wants to wipe out all of humanity. 

It's also out there. They destroyed all the avatar bodies, but the program is out there hiding and waiting and planning. 

Tony speculates that Nefaria either knows 'something we don't--like where Ultron is or what the Ultron plan is...Or he's trying to get ahead start. Trying to get in on the ground floor or when the big bad robot comes to kill us. Maybe he wanted something to Bargain with." 

"I really don't want that in my house anymore." 

Does he think that you can’t have mental health issues and still have a normal conversation or do a normal job? 

The second mental health is breeched no one trusts them to do anything. Or they look the other way then if anything goes out of the normal they go “Oh yeah I always knew he was trouble. He’s crazy, you know.” 

Pisses me off. 

I love Buck. He gets it. He notices when Marc is having a moment and he also knows that exhaustion isn’t great for things. Despite it all, Buck is there for him and he’s willing to help him along the way. 

(And you are never going to see Buck again. He’s quickly erased thanks to the 3 year gap after Moon Knight is canceled. Moved on or like he never happened. This upsets me.) 

You know what else upsets me? 

There's a new headmate now. He just had a frank discussion with Tony Stark. Captain America and Spider-man headmates were killed off. So now he has...

Wolverine, Echo, and Ironman. Three personalities that are NOT going to get along and have VERY different instructions and opinions. Back to square one. 

wtf

THREE MONTHS LATER. 

Studio Back Lot, Marc arrives and is told by his assistant that the show is canceled. 

Not making enough money or something or other. 

(The joke here is that he’s crazy so they expect him to do crazy things.) 

Marc. Let her go. Remember how we talked about you making BAD DECISIONS? 

Marc… MARC. 

Okay. Hold on a second. I need to look something up. 

So, as I noted in part 1... This was one of Bendis' less successful revivals. He re-wrote Moon Knight's past, gave him a new location, and then completely redid his character and D.I.D as well as getting rid of without explaining Steven and Jake. In fact, it's implied that he never HAD Steven and Jake and that they were only used as "Cover personas" and that his "Multiple Personality" issue is new and hidden as he 'imagines' the Avengers working along side him. 

It's used as a ploy to keep the crazy in Moon Knight while also trying to make him interesting when he was ALREADY interesting and Bendis just stripped what was interesting about him away without explanation or cause. 

You don't take the stripes off the Zebra and call it a fancy horse and still expect people to be interested in it like they were before. 

According to one review write up: "It never really caught fire with new fans, and longtime devotees didn't love the concept of tying him into some of Marvel's biggest heroes." 

It was a huge flop. 

During this run, Moon Knight also had a major team appearance (first in over 20 years) in "Secret Avengers". In fact, he was popping up all over the place in this time frame in small side projects and background things. 

And then.... NOTHING. But what about the promise of "He will return in Age of Ultron"? 

WELL....

Age of Ultron, 2012. He appears prominently in Issues #2, 4, 5, 10, and Avengers Assemble Age of Ultron #14. But it is not considered a canon timeline for him and has no affect on the main story. He’s just kinda there. You KNOW how I feel about Marvel events that just take all the characters and mash them together with writers that don’t know how to handle these characters. They just kinda go off of cliff notes on the most recent run that’s been published. 

Let's take a peek at how Moon Knight was handled after the failed Bendis run...  

Avengers Assemble: Age of Ultron

Written by Al Ewing

Art by Butch Guice

Editor by Lauren Sankovitch 

…..THANKS BENDIS. I HATE IT.

Dialogue here because I had to squint:

"Marc Spector. Moon Knight. I've worked with him. Unstable, but useful. So long as he can keep himself together. Right now, he's not doing well. He's breaking. It's in his voice. He needs something certain. Something he can rely on. He needs the Black Widow. The one in his head."

So this is what happens when someone mismanages a character like Moon Knight. The stigma…and it is stigma…sticks. It’s harder to make the good things stick than it is to make the mad things last. Just look at BEMIS. 

Up to this point, there had been a LOT of misrepresentation for Moon Knight. He just kept getting crazier and crazier. More and more violent. Some writers took it to the extreme and others tried to mellow it out but gave him less of Steven and Jake and more of rageful Marc. 

When Bendis redefined Marc’s mental disorder, there was only one way to go with it and it was right into crazy town. The Avengers treated him with kiddie gloves and ‘played’ to his delusions. 

This is how bad depictions of disabilities can snowball. And snowball it did. 

THREE YEARS. No one knew what to do with him. Did they take him back to where he was, cutting faces off of people? Or into the wild and angry phase? Or did they try to carry on what Bendis did here? 

It’s any wonder that it took three years for someone to step up and say “Let me try.” and is it any wonder that their arch was so PASSIVE? 

So here I am with a question: Was this a good run? 

Pros: The art was good and consistent. The dialogue was good and believable. The action was balanced. The stillness was balanced. We had very good fighting scenes with good combat. I FELT for Marc. We got to see Marc in vulnerable situations trying to deal with his failing mental health and his grief. He broke my heart. We also got Buck! It made me legit laugh a few times. 

Cons: VERY POORLY DONE REPRESENTATION OF D.I.D AND MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL THAT GOT IT CANCELED FOR THREE YEARS AND SPIRALLED US INTO SUCH POOR DEPICTiONS AND STIGMA. 

The hardest part is that when it was good, it was AMAZING. But when it was bad…. 

So do I forgive Bendis? Do I forgive him for taking on a project he should NOT have taken on? Is it enough for me to enjoy the run and recommend it? Is it enough for me to say “It’s great if you overlook the piss poor representation of D.I.D and Ableism.”? 

I can see why after reading this run, I set it aside and marked it as ‘the worst’ and refused to touch it again. Was it bad enough to warrant that reaction? At the time… Yes. But looking back on it… Perhaps I was a little harsh? Holding it up against Aaron, BEMIS, and even Pepose… It’s top of the line. But how sad is that? 

How sad that we have to hold up something so wrong and say “Hey, it wasn’t the worst so I give it a two thumbs up”? 

We should expect better. Because this comic deserves better. This run should have been up there with Lemire. Instead, it’s down here with “Skip this one”. And that makes me sad. 

What do you guys think? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is this run still a skip, or is it a read ‘but don’t pay attention to these things’?