#It also brings up interesting questions that I hadn't thought of before

[styck-figure]

I love going back and rewatching AVM and seeing little details. Alexcrafter's mouse is smaller than Alan's. King takes so long to write/paint/command block those little gifs. The individual fighting/parkour styles of the sticks being distinct and consistent. just !!! I love this series.

[jaysbaefie]

nerd | pjs

synopsis: in which you push the schools nerd past his limits, resulting in you being bent over his desk with your hands behind your back and your butt gleaming red.

genre: highschool au

pairing: nerd!jay x bully afab!reader

warnings: where to begin… mean dom!jay, bratty!reader, sub!reader, egotistical!reader, dubcon(ish), teasing, name calling, reader punches jay, tormenting, spanking, oral (m and f rec.), choking, gagging, slapping, orgasm denial, forced submission, restraining, pussy spanking, fingering, usage of ‘sir’, titty sucking, rough p in v, hair pulling, marking, slapping, blackmail, threats…i think that’s it :D

wc: 12.1k

a/n: new big fic out. i can’t lie ive been procrastinating so hard but this is a small make up fic because i wont be very active for the next few weeks because of finals :( uni is kicking ass rn so hopefully this will keep yall satisfied for the next few weeks! thank you for over 350 followers that’s so insane. i am also looking for an editor/proof reader for fics because i hate to proof read. if ur interested pm me! anyways, enjoy <333

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

you walk down the semi-busy hallway, clutching your books to your chest in a tight and unforgiving grip. your day had already started off rough, with your little brother slamming his fist into your cereal causing the milk to splatter all over you.

you had to remember that he was 5 years old and your brother in order to not lose your shit on him. simply brushing off the incident and changing into your spare old school shirt which fit you a little to tight.

"fucking math class is going to be the death of me," you mutter to yourself with a scowl as you take a right and walk past the seemingly never ending line of lockers.

stomping through the door you're met with several familiar faces, one particular face causing an almost evil grin to take over your face.

jay park.

the school's biggest nerd, but your favourite play thing.

oh how fun it is to bother him and get him all flustered and shy, and suddenly your mood has shifted. "at least i have some entertainment," you think to yourself as you makes your way towards the boy.

passing by him you make sure that he sees you, his expression dropping as you watch his adam's apple bob.

cute.

you brush up against his arm as you walk by, deciding to sit right behind him. you lean back, placing your books onto the table with a soft thud.

"uhm, hi?" the girl who you hadn't noticed sat beside you uttered. you mentally roll your eyes before giving her the fakest smile you could muster up.

"hi, uh.." you take a second to look the girl up and down, trying to figure out her name. your eyes eventually land on a worksheet of hers which laid on the desk, "vicky..?" you question with a squint of your eyes as you attempt to read the name that was messily printed on her paper.

she nods before smiling brightly, bringing her hand up to shake yours, only for her to be turned down.

"not interested," you quip your eyes squinting as your fake smile extends, "so, stay in your lane vicky."

yes, that was a bit harsh. but you had a reputation to live up to and you weren't going to let this irrelevant girl be comfortable with you.

the girl lets out a small gasp, her mouth falling agape unattractively before letting out a small 'hmph', turning her head away. it almost insulted you that vicky thought that you'd even consider being friends with her.

"dramatic bitch," you mutter, rolling your eyes as you rest your cheek on the palm of your hand.

you pull out your phone, noticing that you had a few minutes before class started. a small smirk graces your face, you had time for some fun.

you peer up from your phone, staring down the back of jays head. his hair was dark and neatly brushed back, all you wanted to do was run your hands through it to ruin it as he scrambled to fix it.

slowly lifting your leg you rest it on the back of his chair, making sure to give the chair a little push to make your presence known as if jay wasn't already hyper aware of you.

jay feels pressure on the back of his chair, letting out a small sigh before pushing up his falling glasses with his index finger—taking a deep breath through his nose as he tries to keep calm.

he already knew who it was and didn't bother looking up, continuing to scribble down on his work for another class.

your smirk stays intact, your foot tracing along the top of the cheap plastic chairs, knowing that jay could essentially feel your shoe on his back. you soon slip through the small gap in the seat, the tip of your sneakers gliding against his crisp white school shirt.

jay felt a shiver run through him, he held in his breath before shaking his head in annoyance—grumbling softly to himself.

he knew that you wouldn't stop until you got a good rise out of him, he was prepared for the worst.

"jongie," you whisper, leaning foreword against your forearms which were planted on the desk to keep you balanced and upright.

jay swallows harshly at his name coming out of your mouth in a low whisper, his hands clenching his pencil tightly as he continues to swiftly work through his sheets.

you knew that he was going to ignore you, which is why you decide to sit down again and lean back so your legs could reach further.

you kick the leg of his chair, which didn't end up moving much due to his weight holding the chair down firmly.

just before you could kick the back of the chair where his shirt was exposed, the teacher walks in. you pull your leg back under her desk and sit up straight, a low snicker being heard beside you. you turn your head swiftly, glaring down the girl that had tried to befriend you earlier.

"alright, class begins in," the teacher glances down at her watch before looking up again, "2 minutes, in that time please get out your work that should've been completed last night and have it on your desk ready to be handed in."

"crap," you murmur under your breath, realizing that you had only completed half of the homework last night before you decided to let sleep take over you. gnawing on your bottom lip you turn to your seat mate who was equally as flustered as you, you roll your eyes knowing that she too hadn't finished. useless.

you had only one option, slowly you reached your hand out to tap jays shoulder to ask for his homework. your chair screeching in the process but you paid no mind to that, however, the teacher did.

just as jay turned around to look back at you, he was stopped by the teacher.

"__, what are you doing? now is not the time to socialize, sit back down," she scolds, catching the attention of many other students who were now looking at right at you.

you flushed slightly at the sudden attention, remaining cool and intact on the outside but booking with rage on the inside. you clench your skirt in your fist as you retract your hand and sit back down.

how dare she talk to me like that.

if someone else had talked to you like that you would've put them in their place, but you knew better than to talk back to your teacher.

before you could cuss the teacher out mentally your gaze shifts towards jay who looked at you with pure amusement.

a small smile had crawled onto his face, his dimples making an appearance as he jaw line flexed, he was laughing at you.

you felt your blood boil as you watched him bite at his lip to stop himself from laughing. your eye twitched as you held in the urge to stomp your foot into his back. your pulled out of your thoughts when you see the teacher beginning to make her rounds to collect the homework.

"ah shit, my assignment," you say to yourself as you pull out your half-finished work.

you place the piece of paper onto your desk, glaring holes into the back of jays head as you wait for the teacher to reach you.

just watch what happens to you after class, nerd.

your hands gripped at your worksheet, almost ripping it in the process as you think of all the ways you'd make jay regret laughing at you.

the professor was right in front of you, standing at jays desk, "good job, jay. wouldn't expect any less from my star student," she praises softly before grabbing his work and the sheet from the student who sat next to him.

a disappointed look takes over her face when she walks over to your desk, wiping the previous happy smile off of her wrinkled face.

does she want to fuck him or something?

"incomplete."

"sorry ms-" you started but were soon cut off by the disappointed teacher, "i don't want to hear it __, detention."

you let out a small groan before leaning back in your desk, watching the teacher wear the same expression towards vicky before giving her the same fate as yours.

you continue to watch the teacher walk along the rows, anger bubbling in you.

with a sigh you snap your eyes back to the front, letting out a small gasp when you lock eyes with a pair of deep brown ones.

jay.

he looks at you with an almost smug expression, only fuelling your anger further. first, your little brother ruining your shirt, then jay laughing at you and now he had the the audacity to look smug about it? fuck no.

'your dead,' you mouth at him.

his eyes widen before he's turning around, leaving you fuming in anger as you begin to come up with ways to get back at him.

'oh god, save me,' jay thinks to himself, looking up as if god himself was staring down at him. if god was, he would be giving jay a look of pity.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

class had ended a few minutes ago and you were now making your way to your second class, english.

just as the bell had rung jay had made a run for it, he knew that he was in trouble and he was afraid for what was going to bite him in the ass.

you sat in your next class, plotting of ways you could get back at the boy. you smirk when images of jay looking up at you with apologetic eyes pop up in your head—punishing him will be fun.

if only you knew that you wouldn't be the one who would be doing the punishing.

you knew that jay was in your class and you knew that he was going to come in later than he usually would—even if it effected his perfect attendance record.

he was going to try and avoid you, try to run away from you—but you won't let that happen.

you mentally 'tsk' in your head, 'jay you can't escape me,' you think to yourself as you patiently wait for the boy to walk into class.

meanwhile, jay pants aggressively—trying to calm down his breathing from all the running he did. he had ran down the stairs and taken the long way to his next class, which he shared with you, trying to avoid running into you in the hallways.

he knew that you wouldn't bother him much in class, however, if you caught him the hallways who knew what you'd do to him.

he doesn't know what you're scheming but he wasn't excited. this was the first time that he had ignored you, typically he would just give you the work that you asked for—but this time he had chosen death. not only did jay not give you answers, he laughed at you.

this was the first time that he had gotten you angry, and he knew that you would take your anger solely out on him. he had seen you angry before, but never because of him.

he had seen you take out your anger on the people who caused the negative emotion, and it was brutal. to think that a girl your size was able to shit kick someone was scary and he hoped that he'd never be in the receiving end of that.

making his way into class he wipes the thin layer of sweat that had made its way into his forehead with the back of his hand, trying to slow down his breathing.

setting his backpack down onto the floor, he sits down and begins to unpack.

he could feel you burn holes into the back of his head, shivering slightly at the thought of turning around only to be met with your fist in his face and a black eye.

the teacher soon walks in causing jay to let out a small breath of relief, he knew that you wouldn't hurt him if the teacher was around.

'you're only safe for the next hour and a half, after that you're done for jay,' the poor boy thinks to himself nervously—sweating bullets.

"important announcement before we begin, starting tomorrow a new teacher will be coming in to teach for the next few weeks as you will be beginning your health unit. this unit will be a review about female and male anatomy and so forth, i beg of you all to be mature about this and not give the new teacher a hard time. please be on your best behaviour tomorrow", the teacher says quickly, the students not being able to understand half of what the she had yapped away.

you paid little to no attention to what the teacher was blabbering about, instead you glared down the boy who was sitting on the other side of the class. he held his book up close to his face, as if he was attempting to shield himself away from your scorching eyes.

snickering, you clenches your fists, a small smirk on your face as you lean foreword against the desk.

you can run, but you can't hide.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

"ow! ah! ouch!" the boy groans out, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

luckily, his arms had covered his face enough so he wouldn't break his jaw or mark up his pretty skin.

jay held in the urge to scream out in anger when he feels your foot on his back, pushing him down when he manages to get into a plank position in an attempt to get up.

the heel of your polished black shoes pushes into his crisp white shirt, leaving a smudge of dirt against the material.

you look down at the boy, feeling a sense of dominance seeing him at his lowest while you had all the control—just how you liked it.

were you a sadist? maybe.

"oh no! jay! i didn't see where i was going. silly me!" you coo innocently, a sly and evil tone present in your tone.

"didn't know i was so clumsy," you add on with a small snicker, your shoes still planted on his back.

jay grits his teeth, he knew that this was coming, but he didn't know that the humiliation would sting this bad.

he bit at his lip when he felt your whole foot slam him down onto the ground, as if he was a mere bug that you were trying to squash and kill.

"__, let me move," he grits out, harshly swallowing his embarrassment when he sees a few students walk by him.

the passers gave jay looks of sympathy, they all knew what it was like to get bullied by you, but they couldn't do much to help out—they didn't want to face your wrath any further.

if they intervened to help him out, they would become the next targets for your punching bags.

"hmm..how about, no," you snap back, there was no way you were going to let jay go after he had disrespected you. you didn't know where his sudden bravery had come from, but you were determined to shove it back where it had risen out from.

it was petty of you to do really, the poor boy hadn't even done anything besides laugh at you. however, you didn't take things like this lightly—and jay knew that.

he remembers how in junior year a girl had flaunted her grades in front of you when you told her what you had gotten on your science exam. the next day, her locker was stuffed with the frogs they had dissected in the class previously. to this day you passed her dirty looks in the hallway.

to simply put it, you held grudges—like really held grudges.

jay knew that if he didn't do something now, you would keep your foot pressed against his back the entire day while he laid on the dirty hallway floors for everyone to watch. he had to gather his courage before his thoughts would become reality.

pulling himself up he gets into a semi plank position, using all his strength to push up and off of the ground making you gasp in surprise.

standing tall his large figure intimidates your smaller one, the height difference making jay seem like the bully and you, the poor innocent victim.

stepping back slightly, you clenches your fists by your side, watching jay dust off his clothes.

"y-you-" you shrieked,  pointing an accusatory finger at the boy. "argh," you stomp down with frustration before scowling.

jay takes a moment unintentionally to look over your smaller frame, your dark messy hair to your neat and polished shoes that were on his back a few moments ago.

he would've thought you were cute if it wasn't for your nasty attitude. who was he kidding, you were pretty, but your actions made him forget from time to time.

balling up your small fists you do something that he would have least expected at that moment.

jay lets out a grunt when he feels your fist jam into the side of his face, falling right back where he had gotten up from originally.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

the day was filled with torture. jay, to say the least, looked rough.

he was tripped, punched,  shoved, and then he was smacked—but that was only the tip of the iceberg.

jay looked as if he was run over by a bus, his hair was messy and his usually crisp and neat attire and look was gone. the side of his face was bruised slightly, yellow and red marks splotched by his temple where you had landed your blow.

he was pretty sure that his glasses were broken, to afraid that if he took them off to inspect that they'd actually fall apart.

you had done it, you had made him miserable.

he ran out of class right when he was dismissed, not being able to take another beating—he just wanted to go home.

the bell rang and jay made a run for it, grabbing his books and heading out of the school doors and onto his bike—immediately cycling away.

he knew that this wasn't over just yet, he knew that there was much more in store for him—you weren't going to stop that easily.

if you had managed to make him so miserable in a span of a few hour, he only dreaded what you could do in an entire day.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

"hey! jongie! where you running off to? thought you were a good kid? we can't have you missing class, now can we?" you chirped with a plastic grin on your face, voice high pitched and squeaky.

jay had walked into school with his head held high up, he had science first block and he dreaded going in. he knew that you would make the 80 minute block last an eternity.

instead of walking in 10 minutes early like he usually would, he decides that he was going to walk in right when the bell rings. if you happened to be in class before the teacher arrived, a lot could happen in the short span of 10 minutes.

he didn't want to run into you in the hallways either, he knew you could have his way with him in the less crowded areas that lack teacher supervision. jay looked down at his watch, biting at his lip anxiously when he realizes that he still had a few minutes before class started.

he begins to walk to the boys washroom, thinking that he could hide out in the stalls to pass the time. unfortunately, he wasn't luck enough to make it there without being spotted.

you had found him, he gulped, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

" jongie," you start with a coo, your voice sickly sweet, "are you avoiding me?" you finish off with a fake pout.

you stood in front of him, not much distance between the two of you and he could smell your lavender and honey-scented perfume.

he lets out a shaky breath when you take another step forward, your chests brushing against one another's.

you reach your hand out to grab at jays black school tie, fiddling with it between your fingers, slowly looking up to see that the boy was already looking down at you.

your eyes widened for a second when you realized how handsome he was, his features sharp and clean which were ruined slightly due to the bruise by his temple.

the one you caused.

you could feel your face flush before your forcing thoughts about finding jay attractive out of your mind.

jay held in his breath when you took another step closer, your chests now touching. he was sure that you could feel his heart beat wildly against his chest.

you internally smirk, biting your bottom lip as you give him a cheeky grin, "jongie, it's not nice to ignore people you know," you drawl out, your eyelashes fluttering as you draw small patterns on his chest with your perfectly manicured fingernails.

jay knew exactly what you was doing, you were seducing him. he wasn't sure what your game plan was, but he was starting to feel hot.

the boy stutters out your name, his eyes widening when he feels you drag your fingers down his chest, nearing dangerously towards his crotch when you make it past his black belt.

"w-what are you d-," he tries again but his words didn't seem to leave his mouth. your fingertips lightly traced his bulge, he could feel himself getting aroused—his breathing getting heavier and quicker.

he wasn't going to let you play around with him so easily, jay knew that you were only doing this to get back at him.

swallowing harshly he reached down to clasp his hand firmly around your wrist, yanking your hand away from him roughly.

he pushes you away, hearing you gasp in shock, "__, stop," he states firmly, his eyes shut as he mentally prepares himself for another blow to the face.

you feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment, no man had ever turned you down—the guys at school falling at her feet left and right.

clenching your teeth you pushed at his chest, forcing a smirk onto your pink stained lips—faking confidence as you tried to push past the rejection.

"you didn't actually think that I would be interested in you, did you jongie?" you fibbed, hoping and praying that jay hadn't picked up on the waver in your voice.

"i would never be interested in someone like you," you spit before turning around to walk away, having the last word.

you walk away with your head held up high, confidently strutting down the hallway before you disappear from jays vision.

you feel your cheeks heat up from rejection, feeling strangely hurt deep down that jay had stopped her advances. you mentally scolded yourself for letting something like this effect you so deeply, it's just jay.

with a scowl etched on your face you flip your hair over your shoulder, fists clenched as you make your way to the next class.

jay stood in the hallway, his mind still processing what had just happened. he didn't know if you were coming on to him or if you were messing with him, regardless, his pants felt tighter.

shaking his head he let out a deep sigh, "it's just a way to get back at you jay, don't fall for it," he says to himself.

he looks down to see an indent in his pants, mentally scolding himself for popping one for a girl who makes his school life hell.

"just get to class," he murmurs out loud, slowly making his way to science—the same class he shared with you.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

science class was an absolute disaster, the substitute was on the verge of crying. jay gave the woman a look of pity, watching her struggle to quiet down the classroom.

paper planes filled the classroom sky, students throwing scrunched up worksheets at one another, big groups of people talking loudly amongst one another.

a mess, to say the least.

a few minutes later the class settles down, the threat of giving everyone a zero caught the classes attention.

the substitute sat at her chair, a look of bewilderment on her face as she smoothens out her clothing and hair.

"good morning class, you may refer to me as mrs.jung and i will be your health teacher. i will be in the classroom for the next few weeks so, please, treat me well," she almost begs at the end, planting a small smile on her face.

she looked to be in her late 30s or early 40s, her black hair up in a sleek bun while she wore a blue denim dress that reached just below her knees.

"today we are going to be learning about the female reproductive system."

the class goes by like a blur, half of the students not paying attention to the substitute as she taught.

jay takes down basic notes, his thick black locks running into his eyes making him run his hands through his hair to slick his hair back.

suddenly, he feels something hit the back of his head. he looks down to see a pink eraser on the floor, already knowing the culprit without having to turn around to look.

picking up the object with a sigh, he places it on his desk—shaking his head in disbelief before he resumes his note taking.

it was quiet for a moment before your voice pulls him out of his trance, his ears turning a bright shade of red at your words.

"jays probably never made a girl cum before, never been able to find the clit," you snicker to your seat mate who looks around hesitantly when she realizes how loud you were.

you on the other hand gave no fucks about the volume of your voice, your laughter getting louder and louder every second.

you were so fucked.

the boy swallowed harshly, his hands gripping his pencil tightly—afraid that it would snap if he didn't ease his grip.

students near by heard the exchange, silent laughter being heard from around the room as they stared at jay. jay could feel his body flush, his cheeks hot as he purses his lips—staring down at his notes. he refused to look up, feeling embarrassed.

you watched jay closely, you could tell that he was uncomfortable but you felt no remorse for the boy—so you continued.

"he'd probably finish in seconds," you taunted, this time catching the teacher's attention.

"__, would you like to repeat that?"

you immediately sit up in your chair, clearing your throat before planting a small fake smile on your face, "no miss."

ms.jung gave her a knowing look, "thought so, now, please keep your comments to yourself."

you flush with embarrassment but the feeling soon fades, biting at your lip to hold in your laughter when you hear other students poke fun at jay.

you could hear whispers about the boy, some making fun of him while others expressed their sympathy for him.

you couldn't help but feel slightly guilty, you peek over to look at jay. you could see his fists clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white while his veins in his hands and forearms popped out. his thick muscles peeking from under his shirt as he flexed his arms tensely—your mouth watered at the sight.

jay then suddenly turns his head around, his dark hooded eyes looking into your. feeling flustered you try to avoid eye contact but were unable to, a small gasp emitting from your throat when jay gives you a bone-rattling glare.

you fist your skirt, heart beating quick when jay mouths, 'stay after class,' his lips curling into a smirk before he's turning away—tuning out everyone who was looking at him.

you look at him in shock, his sudden shift in attitude catching you off guard.

what the fuck just happened?

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

the bell rang and students trickled their way out of the classroom, leaving you, jay, and mrs.jung behind.

"jay, dear. are you planning on staying after class?" mrs. jung asks as she shuffles around the classroom, noticing that neither jay or you had packed your things.

jay forces a sweet smile, trying not to explode as he nods briskly, "ah yes, i have a few things to take care of."

she nods in response, "alright then, i trust that you'll be responsible. i'll give you the keys so when you're done, just lock the door," she says with a smile, before making her way out of the door—handing jay the keys.

she stops midway when she spots you still sitting at one of the desks, "and you, __? are you planning on staying as well?"

before you could open your mouth to answer, jay cuts you off, "yes, mrs.jung. __ here, needed help with some work so i decided to go aheadand tutor her. is that okay? it won't take us to long," he persuades, his grin cheeky as he tries to downplay his real motives.

mrs.jung felt as if she could trust the boy, so she nods.

"alright, just take care, okay? oh also once you've finished, close the blinds," she instructs, and with that, she waves goodbye to the both of you— walking out and shutting the door behind her.

you hold your breath, the sound of your shallow breathing sounding far to loud in the quiet classroom.

you and jay were sitting only a few feet apart, yet he made no attempt to move. the silence was beginning to get to you, rolling your eyes before you decide to break it.

"so nerd, why'd you ask me to stay?" you sneer out, placing your feet up on the table before faux inspecting your nails, you tried not to show it— but your 'tough' persona was crumbling by the second.

jays eye twitched at the name, "i'm sure you know exactly why, __," he seethes back, his head still looking at the front. the way he said your name made you shiver in delight, the hairs on the back of your neck standing as you felt yourself flush.

jay smirks when he notices you shiver from the corner of his eye, he knew that he had some sort of effect on you.

the way your name came out of his mouth sounded smooth and silky, the feeling making you jittery and restless.

you decide to act clueless, "no, actually. I don't."

jay could laugh, huffing before his chair is being pulled out and he's slowly making his way towards you—like a snake slithering to strangle its prey.

when he reaches you, you remove your feet from the desk, looking up at him curiously.

jays gaze made you feel small, looking away from him when you couldn't handle the intensity of his stare.

"it's not nice to comment on other people's sex lives,__. but I'm sure your bratty virgin self doesn't know better," he taunts, his thick arms coming to rest on either side of your chair so you were trapped in between them.

you gape at the name, "bratty?" you spit out, offended. "i'm not bratty, and i'm sure as hell not a virgin."

you swallow harshly when you turn your head to the side, your eyes almost bulging out of their sockets when you see his arms flex to show off his taunt muscles.

"oh really?" he fakes a gasp, lifting one of his eyebrows mockingly before grinning, "prove it."

your eyebrows shoot up in shock, uncomfortable with the switch in dynamics. not used to the confident and bold jay that was in front of her.

"w-what? how," you ask stupidly, unaware of what dirty thoughts had began to cloud jays mind.

he'd show you, he'll prove you wrong.

"get on your knees."

you stare up at him dumbly, failing to process his words. jay begins to lose his patience, threading his fingers into your hair before yanking your head back.

a small moan breaks out of your mouth, face flushing when you realize what you had just done. jays expression turning grim, "i'm not repeating myself brat. either you do it, or i make you do it."

your eyes widen at his words, a strange feeling of fear and excitements rush through you making you clench your thighs in anticipation.

slowly dropping down from your chair, sinking to your knees in front of the boy.

jay smirks, he had you right where he wanted you.

"what are you waiting for? unbuckle my pants and take my cock out, slut," he seethes, his eyes hooded as he stares down at you with pure lust.

you shiver at the degrading name, rubbing your thighs together as you shuffle closer so you could reach out to start taking off his pants.

your hands clumsily unbuckle his belt, letting the leather material hit the floor with a clack—flinching at the sound. you focus on the buttons of his slacks, hands shaking as you struggle to pop them open.

jay 'tsks' as he looks down at you with a faux frown, "useless brat, can't even unbutton my pants properly." with that he's popping open his own buttons and letting his pants fall.

his dark grey boxers came into view quickly before they disappear just as quick. jays hand yanks at your hair, pushing your head so your face was smushed against his hard cock. you gape at him, feeling his thick length grind against your cheek before you begin to struggle in his hold.

you try to show your protest but your words come out muffled, attempting to push yourself away with your thighs on his thighs—but your attempts went futile.

"what are you doing?" you try to squeak out only for it to come out as incoherent, making jay laugh mockingly.

"fuck are you waiting for whore?" he sneers his mood shifting instantly, his grip in your locks tightening making you hiss out— complying with his orders regardless.

he allows you to move your head back, your fingertips slipping past the band of his boxers—pulling them down all the way.

a small gasp left your mouth when his cock hit your cheek, his precum smearing against your skin.

he chuckled, watching you closely as you brings your shaky hand to grip at his girth—making him hiss.

your mouth salivates as you takes a few seconds to admire him. his tip dusted with a dusky rose colour and veins surrounding his thick and long length like a rose vine.

"go on then, take me into your mouth. prove me wrong brat."

that's all you needed before you engulfed his tip into your mouth before jay slams it in fully. you choke on it causing him to let out a deep and guttural groan.

the sound had you trembling, pulling him out of your mouth before slowly taking him in again inch by inch—trying hard not to gag.

he looked down, watching you bob your head back and forth, tilting his head back to let out small moans when he feels you swallow around him.

his grip on your hair tightened, thrusting his hips forward causing his tip to hit the back of your throat repeatedly—using you as a cock sleeve.

as embarrassing as it was, you were enjoying it far more than jay was. your thighs clenched together tightly as you attempt to relieve the pressure between your legs by pushing your gushing cunt against the floor.

"fuck, __! didn't take you for such a cockslut. thought you were more a receiver with your bratty attitude," he remarks, a choked groan echoing through the classroom when he feels you swallow around his cock again.

you look up at the boy, peering through your thick lashes as you hollow out your cheeks, your tongue running up his length.

your hand comes to wrap around the part that you weren't able to fit in your mouth, feeling his cock inch down your throat.

he felt your warm mouth surround him, the feeling smooth and velvety as he pushed his hips towards you causing you to gag.

you reminded yourself to breathe through your nose, your tongue lapping around his length as you pumps the remaining bit with your hand.

"oh-shit, keep going. just like that," he groans, bucking his hips as he desperately chases his high.

your eyes narrow, one thing was certain—jay wasn't going to cum. suddenly, you withdraw your effort and slow down your speed just when he was reaching his high.

jay stares down at you, frustration present on his face.

"did i tell you that you could slow down whore?" he sneered, his chest heaving and his face glistening with a sheen of sweat.

innocently, you peer up at him before going back to the pace you were at before, his eyes rolling back in pleasure instantly as he relished in the feeling of your warm mouth.

he was close, and you could tell.

your hand reaches up to cup his balls in your hand, slowly massaging as you try to get him closer and closer to his climax.

you held in your breath when his tip hits the back of your throat with each thrust, letting him use you like a rag doll.

the sound of jays moans and the wet sounds of his cock fucking your mouth echoed through the empty classroom—bouncing off of the walls.

"m'gonna cum," he grunts, a thin bead of sweat running down his face and then his neck, soon disappearing under his school shirt.

not on my watch.

you smirk to yourself , right when jay was about to bust you pull your mouth away completely—leaving him hanging and desperate for a release.

jays eyes snap open, "what the fuck!" he exclaims, his fists clenching and his face red in anger.

"you didn't actually think that i'd let you cum after the way you talked to me, did you jongie?" you tease, biting at your bottom lip to hold in your laughter as you start to get up from the floor—using the back of your hand to wipe away the spit and cum on your lips.

jay feels himself slowly lose his cool, he was being gentle with you even if you didn't deserve it.

"that's fucking it, __," he starts, his tone shocking you, never hearing him sound so angry. the once calm and collected boy was gone, his patience running thin.

"you've pushed me past my limits now."

he takes a second to look down you, you were now standing up with your face only a few inches away from his own.

"you're going to bend over the desk-" he grabs a hold of you, grabbing a fistful of your hair before pushing your body onto a desk so you laid on your stomach with your lower body handing uber the edge—your feet barely touching the ground.

a shriek leaves your mouth at the sudden change in position, trying to get your feet to touch the floor but fails when jay comes to stand to the side of you, "-and fucking count."

he flips your short school skirt up, which jay thought was pointless for you to wear. you hiked up the material to your upper thigh, leaving little to the imagination to whoever was behind you.

jay was guilty, he had peered up your skirt several times—his hands itching to grab at your soft flesh.

your behind was now exposed to him with your thin lace black thong being the only thing that covered you. it didn't cover much, actually, it didn't cover anything. he could see your cunt poke through the thin fabric, his mouth salivating as he watches you squirm in his hold.

"what the-" you start but are cut off by jay toying with your underwear, pulling it upward before letting it go so it would slap your skin.

you hiss at the feeling, trying to reach your arms behind you to push him away, only for him to grab ahold of both your arms and pin them firmly to your back.

"you've done this to yourself, __. if only you had behaved," he sneers, softly patting your underwear-clad core making you jolt up in surprise.

jay chuckles at the reaction, "sensitive, are we?"

"oh shut up you ne-"

smack!

you gasp, turning your head around to glare at him accusingly, "d-did you ju-" you get cut off again by another sting to your behind, your back arches as you unconsciously jut your behind out more.

jay smirks, watching your body squirm on the desk, his hand coming to softly massage your behind before he lands another smack down.

"i did, and you better get counting brat. you're far from getting out of this position."

"like hell i wi-" you try to protest only for him to lay another smack down, your body lurching forward with each hit. you suppress a moan when you feel jays hand roughly massage the cheek that he had hit, the feeling soothing but made your core ache.

"you want to try again? the more you act out the more hits i'll add on," he threatens lowly, his middle finger tracing down your covered slit.

you whine, feeling absolutely humiliated.

smack!

"i recommend that you start counting, brat," jay seethes lowly before he's landing another smack down.

"o-one."

smack!

"two," you mewl, eyes watering as you feel another smack lay down on you.

smack!

"three."

smack!

"four!" you shriek, that particular smack landing harder than the rest.

jay was taking out all of his frustration on you, his hand stinging at the intensity of the smack he laid down. it was as if he was getting his revenge for the torture he endured from her. he watched your ass bounce, landing smack after smack not letting you catch your breath in the slightest.

"ah, jay! s-stop," you cry out, your hands gripping the table tightly—knuckles turning white.

his hand grabs ahold of the back of your neck, pulling you up slightly as he bends down to catch your gaze. "do you really want me to stop, __?" he asks knowingly, a look of faux sympathy in his face.

"because-" he begins, his other hand snaking itself to your covered cunt—pressing against you. you were drenched, the fabric sticking to your folds as if they were a second skin. "-this tells me otherwise."

you hold in a whine, to ashamed to deny. jay had gotten his answer, letting go of his hold on your neck before he's going back to his original spot.

you look back at him, your eyes red and teary as you muffled a cry. jay holds in a groan when he sees your teary face, feeling his cock get harder—if that was possible.

"jay i-" you start but cut yourself off with a grunt when he lands his hand down on your behind once more.

"beg bitch," he sneers. this was the moment that all shame and self respect was let go.

"please jongie. i beg you," you cry out, jolting up when you feel his fingers circle your clothed entrance.

jay smirks, he had you wrapped around his fingers in minutes—literally.

"what are you begging for, hm?"

when he receives no answer he lands another smack down on to your behind making you whimper.

jay almost lets out a moan when he sees how red and bruised your behind was, splotches off blue and yellow complimenting your skin colour.

you look back at him, your face red and teary as you silently beg him to do something.

jay shakes his head at you, "you aren't getting anything from me till you ask me, nicely."

you whine, "jay, please."

"please jay what?" he mocks, his hand grabbing at your behind roughly—squeezing it making you let out breathless moans.

"please, fuck me," you wince, your bottom lip trembling as you look at him with big eyes.

jay feels his breath hitch at the look on your face, the faux expression of innocence you held making his actions stutter.

you were so full of shit and jay knew that.

he chuckles, "fuck you? so quickly? i don't think so slut," he says before he's flipping you over on the desk so your back was against the wood.

you gasp at the sudden switch of positions, holding yourself up by your elbows. you see jay in between your legs as you look up at him, his figure towering over yours.

you let out a pained whimper when your butt touches the desk, your behind stinging and sore after the amount of hefty smacks that he laid down on you.

"so wet.." he murmurs, running his pointer finger down your clothed folds, a shiver racking down your  spine at the sensation.

he lets out a soft hiss when he notices how sensitive you were, "jay, please."

"i've been through this before darling, please what? what do you want me to do, be verbal," he commands, rubbing small circles against your clit.

"fingers, in me please," you stammered, clawing at the desk as you spread your legs wider—no shame.

"good girl," he praises lightly before he's pushing your underwear to the side to expose your sopping wet cunt. the sudden exposure of the cool air making you shudder, shutting your legs on instinct. jay scowls, slapping at your thigh before forcing your legs wide open.

you let out a small moan at the feeling of his fingers touching around you, his hands sliding to the apex of your inner thighs.

he takes his time, making sure to have you crying by the end of it.

"jay, please don't tease," you whine, trying to buck your hips against his hand to try and get him to touch you where you needed him the most.

he hums in response, his thumb coming to touch your bare clit softly, slowly rubbing against it making you arch your back against the desk at the sensation.

jays smirk stays intact on his face, making eye contact with you all while rubbing you slowly—teasing her.

you shy away from his eyes, looking anywhere but at him causing jay to stop his actions. his free hand comes up to your face, squeezing your cheeks so your lips jut out in a pucker.

"keep your eyes on me, brat. as soon as you look away, i stop. got it?" he threatens lowly. you nod in response, locking eyes with his deep browns ones.

he slowly pushes a finger into your aching core, feeling you clench around his digit as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. he feels your walls tighten around him, "so fucking needy," he spits out.

you bite at your lip to hold back any moans that threatened to escape you, your hips bucking as he fastens his pace.

"don't hold in your moans, let them out," he demands, curling his finger in you before a second finger is poking at your entrance—threatening to be pushed in.

"ah-shit," you groan out when he inserts the second finger in, the thickness of his digit stretching you out. your eyes water at the pleasure, your eyes threatening to close to relish in the feeling—but you don't dare.

he holds your panties to the side so he could see his fingers pushing in and out of you, your hips bucking as you try to get him to sink his fingers deeper into your cunt.

"so wet and needy," he croaks, his thumb adding into the mix as he continues his pace—his thumb rubbing small yet firm circles on your clit.

you shut your eyes for a moment only for them to snap right open when you feel jay land a slap on your throbbing pussy. you squeal at the pain, trying to move away from his grip, his hand coming down to slap at your clit again. "behave," he warns before he's resuming his previous position with two of his thick digits buried inside you.

you couldn't believe the position you were in. sprawled up on a desk with your hair dishevelled, your shirt wrinkled and your school skirt hiked up to your hips while the boy you use as a punching bag has his fingers buried into your aching cunt.

if someone had told you that this would be the position you'd end up in by the end of the day, you would've had them on the floor.

you could feel every stroke of his fingers inside you clearly, desperately chasing your high as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten deliciously.

jay curls his fingers in you in a 'come here' motion, feeling you clench around his digits as he fastens his pace—he knew you were close.

his thumb starts to rub faster circles on your throbbing and aching clit, not giving you a chance to breathe as he feels your body twitch at the close release.

"ah, shit! j-jay m'close," you mewl, your eyes rolling to the back of your head—eyes white. you feel him stroke past a certain bundle of nerves, your head tilting back in pleasure as he continue to stretch out your gummy walls.

just as you felt your high approach jays pulling his fingers out of you , leaving you feeling empty and unsatisfied. you cry out in frustration, attempting to kick your legs at jay only for him to catch and stop them with ease—tossing you a stern look.

you watch him pop his fingers into his mouth, his tongue coming out to circle his digits all while maintaining eye contact with you.

"for a dirty bitch, you sure do taste good," he praises, a sly grin in his face as he digs his fingers into the plush of you thighs—making you wince.

when he gets no response he chuckles, "what? didn't think that i'd let you cum so quickly, did you?" he asks, using the same phrasing as you earlier.

you whine, "please." your legs shook with impatience.

"i'm taking my time with you, __. i've been waiting to get my hands on you. do you know what i go through whenever you open your goddamn trap and spit out insults at me, hm? it takes everything in me to not bend you over the nearest desk and fuck the attitude out of you, but not anymore. i'm having you whatever way i want, and you'll let me, isn't that right?" he hisses into your ear, the feeling of his cool breath making you shiver.

you look at him with red cheeks, your mind whirling with ideas of him taking you on the desk, against the wall, in the school closets, in the staff room.

jay grins, "you'd like me fucking your pretty little cunt, hm? wanna feel my fat cock stretching your bratty pussy out, yes?" he purrs as he gets up from his position in between your legs, looming over your smaller body.

"mmm, y-yes," you reply, still dazed from your denied release as you stare up at him with big eyes.

jay lets out a small groan before he's wrapping his hand around your throat, pulling you up so you're off the desk and standing in front of him.

you grab onto his shirt, not trusting yourself to stand properly as your legs trembled.

you let out a small moan when the grip around your throat tightens. "what a desperate little whore you are, __. who would've thought that the school's bully begs for cock, begs for my cock," he jeers as he weaves his other hand into your hair—yanking on it.

you mewl at the sensation, letting him use you as he wished—complying with all his actions.

"are you going to behave for me, hm,__?" he coaxes before he presses a quick peck to your lips, trailing small kisses starting from your tear stained cheeks, to your jaw and soon down your neck.

"yes," you respond, your voice coming out breathy and your vision hazy—the sensation of his lips on your neck leaving you trembling with need.

jay nips at the sensitive skin on your neck, a moan slipping out of your mouth as he continues to bruise up your skin.

"yes, what?"

"yes, sir."

jay immediately pulls away from you, his eyes widening in shock as he stares at you in disbelief. you on the other hand hadn't even realized what name you addressed him by, the thought of his cock plaguing your mind.

he soon came to the conclusion that he didn't mind the name, his mouth pulling into a sneer as he fists your hair harshly before yanking it back—your head tilted so your marked up neck was on full display for his hungry eyes.

"good, now—strip."

you immediately comply with his order, your hands fumbling with the buttons of your shirt, struggling slightly as you lean against him for support.

jay watches you struggle, his eyes narrowing impatiently before he's taking matters into his own hands.

"such a helpless little slut, can't even unbutton her shirt without my help," he murmurs angrily before he's helping you unbutton your school shirt.

his fingers graze your supple skin as he makes his way down your shirt, helping you take the white material off.

once he gets to the last button he yanks the shirt off completely, throwing it onto the floor making you gasp.

without a second to waste, he reaches behind you to unclasp your pink bra, the lanky article of clothing falling off of you.

jay sucks in a breath when your pert nipples come into his view, his hands reaching out to mound against your chest.

"so pretty," he praises softly before he's kneading your breasts with both of his hands. your grip on his shirt tightening as he continues his assault before he's leaning down and taking one of your buds into his mouth.

the feeling of his mouth touching your skin made you moan out, jutting your chest out to savour more of the feeling.

"needy little thing aren't you, hm? tell me, __, do you want my mouth on you? want me to make you cum on my tongue? " he drawls as he twists your nipple with his finger making you whimper.

you nod enthusiastically, "yes, please sir," you beg, your hands coming up to wrap around his shoulder as if you were hugging him.

"begging so nicely for me," he praises before he's slowly sinking to his knees, his head coming to be level right with your covered cunt.

you trembled, jays hands on your waist before they drag up and down your thighs. he's reaching behind you to drag your skirt down so it pooled at your feet.

your thin underwear was soaked from your previously denied orgasm, his fingers coming to grab at the band of your panties to push them down so you were completely bare to his eyes.

jay sucked in a breath, his eyes glazing over you before he uses his thumbs to spread apart your lips.

your hands reach behind you to grab at the wooden desk to keep yourself from falling—spreading your legs slightly so jay could fit better in between them.

the boy smirked at your actions, moving closer so his breath fanned against your most intimate bits—making you shiver.

"why so tense,__?" he teases before his tongue flattens against the apex of her thigh making you squirm.

"j-jay, don't tease—please," you begged softly as you jut your hips so your cunt was closer to his face—desperate to get him to touch you where you desired the most.

jay smiles against her skin, "do you deserve my tongue, huh?" he blows softly on your clit making you whimper.

did you deserve it? no.

were you still going to say yes? yeah.

"yes, sir—please." you pant, your left hand leaving the desk as you could run your hand through his dark locks.

the boy lets out a small laugh, "you and i both know you don't deserve this, yet here we are," he says lowly, his eyes zeroing in on your cunt.

you scrunched your eyebrows, "wha—oh!" you shrieked. his tongue flattened on your most sensitive area, your head tilting back as your grip in his hair tightens.

jay holds in a moan, his tongue gliding through your soaked folds as he holds your thighs open to make sure you don't try to close them.

your eyes roll to the back of your head as you pant the boy's name, your body twitching with each touch as you force yourself to keep as quiet as possible.

his tongue did figure '8's on your clit, your arousal soaking his nose and chin. jay peers up from in between your legs, watching your face contort into one of pure bliss as you start to roll your hips against his tongue.

he tongue drops to your clenching hole, teasing the entrance while his nose nudges your clit repeatedly.

he had imagined this exact moment, as creepy as it sounded—he had fantasied about this moment.

have you choke on his girth as he fucked your bratty mouth as he pleased—using you like a doll before throwing you away. bending you over his knee, letting his palms smack against your round and soft bottom as you cried out for him—begging him to stop. letting his hands roam down your body as he marked you with small purple bites, letting everyone know that the school's tormentor had been fucked into her place.

he was ecstatic when you had stayed behind, following his order.

he knew he had you in his clutches the moment you were on your knees, knowing he had full control over your frail body—he was going to take full advantage of it.

years of torment had led them here, his tongue deep in you as you wailed out in pleasure—clutching on to whatever you could grab onto.

he inhaled deeply when your thighs started to close in on his face, his hands not being able to hold them open anymore as his tongue ran over your clit repeatedly.

you were trembling, your legs shaking violently as you screeched when his tongue brushes over a certain bundle of nerves.

"shit! jongie," you gape, your mouth in an 'o' shape as your eyes shut painfully tight.

"m'gonna cum," you wail out as you grasp at his hair tighter, his tongue working fast and firm circles around your clit—getting you closer and closer to your release.

after the way you treated him, you surely didn't deserve to cum. yet, here jay was—his tongue delving in and out of you as you beg to cum for him.

your stomach tightened almost painfully as you reached your climax, your body trembling as you cum with a loud moan—not being able to hold back your sounds anymore.

even after your high had passed, jay hadn't stopped. his tongue still rolling around your clit as he helps you ride out your high before finally pulling away making you let out a sigh of relief.

jay watches your red face, "filthy little girl, absolutely filthy," he tuts, his tongue swiping his lips to savour any remnants of you before he's standing tall—his hand reaching out to wrap around your throat once again.

you choke a whimper, your hands coming up to grab at his wrist when his grip tightens around your throat almost painfully. you struggle to breathe and although this should scare you, you felt yourself hush with excitement.

you twitch, "s-sir, in me. please," you whine out, begging to be filled to the brim with thick cock inside of you.

"you're still not satisfied?" he teases as he slowly strips himself of his briefs—letting them fall to the floor.

you shook your head, clenching around nothing as you watch the boy carefully.

"bend over then, let's see how good you take my cock."

and that's how you ended up pushed against the desk with your stomach pressed against the wooden surface and your hands pinned behind your back.

you could feel jays cool breath fan against your ear as his chest planted firmly against your back—disabling any movement from your behalf.

you could feel his length against you, his tip poking at your entrance as you whine in desperation.

"sir," you mewl softly, your head twisting slightly as you begin to wriggle in his grip.

jay chuckles lowly, his hand reaching out to firmly wrap itself around your throat to keep you from moving your head as well as serve as warning to stay still.

"so desperate for my cock," he keens, planting soft kisses on you exposed shoulder making you shiver.

"imagine what your little friends would think of if they were to find out that you were being fucked by me. fucked by the school's 'nerd.' what would they say, huh? their little friends getting put into her place by the boy she torments," he sneers as his grip on your neck tightens for a fraction making you gasp.

"you'd like that though, wouldn't you? being fucked into submission by me, letting your little friends watch?" he continues, his tone getting lower and lower.

"jay," you moan, he suddenly starts to push his tip into your entrance—your tight walls immediately fluttering around him.

jay shudders, your velvety walls comforting him as he slowly pushes in—inch by inch. he tried to move slowly so you wouldn't feel any pain or discomfort, but soon that idea was disposed of.

you didn't deserve to be treated with such care.

he slammed himself in without slowly coaxing you like he had originally planned, the sudden movement causing a scream to erupt from the back of your throat.

the stretch was painful yet so good. your walls fluttered ground him as he fucks into you, his balls slapping against your ass as the desk shook with each rough thrust.

jay groaned, your walls hugging him as he quickly uses his hand to cover your mouth— you were a moaning mess as he roughly thrusts into you.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you held onto the desk for support, mewls leaving your mouth every time he moved.

the stretch of his girth was painful yet pleasurable, the burning sensation only adding to the enjoyment.

"f-fuck, sir," you mewled, your voice coming out muffled due to jays hand covering your mouth.

he could feel beads of sweat roll down his chest and back as he picked up his pace, small groans occasionally leaving his mouth every time he felt your gummy walls clench around him.

you had your eyes shut as you took each thrust, your stomach coiling wildly as you clenched around his thick girth like a vice.

you could feel your stomach bulge with each movement, a high-pitched squeal leaving your mouth when jays hand comes down to land a sharp smack on your behind.

abandoning your mouth, his hands gripped your hips in a tight hold, holding them hard enough to leave bruises and marks.

"feel so good, __," he murmurs, his pace swiftly quickening as he watches your ass bounce against him with each stroke.

you trembled, your mind hazy as you searched through your brain to try and put some words together to respond—but nothing coming to mind.

"m'close," you finally says, your previous orgasm only adding to this one as you try to buck against him.

just as your lower stomach starts to tighten, a signal of her now close high—jay pulls out.

you gasp, your high dying down quickly as you turn your head around to look at the boy.

instead of explaining why he had pulled out so suddenly, he grabs your forearms. pulling you up so you were now standing—your legs shaking violently as you try to hold onto him for support.

he makes you face him, chests touching, before hooking his arms underneath your knees so you were no longer touching the ground—hiking you up onto the desk so he could stand in between your legs.

"it's sad how such a pretty thing has such a rotten inside," he uttered lowly, letting you wrap your legs around his waist.

in the moment you decided to not respond to him, letting his degrading words fly past as you whined—needy and desperate for a release.

his hand comes up to wrap squeeze in your cheeks, yanking your head close so your noses brushed against one another's.

he smirked when he felt you twitch in his grip, moving his face away slightly so he could sink two fingers into your mouth.

"suck," he demands, feeling your warm mouth engulf his digits—your tongue soft against his rough fingers.

he watches you carefully, his grip on her cheeks tightening ever so slightly making you whine as you struggle to take his digits in.

removing his grip from your face, he takes out his fingers before using that exact hand to land a semi-hard smack onto your cheek—your head flying to the side as you let out a cry of surprise and pain.

"a-ah," you cried, your teary eyes catching his own.

"pathetic," he stated, reclaiming his grip on your face to fish you in so his breath fanned against your face.

he could see it on your face, you enjoyed it.

jay laughs in disbelief, "fucking filthy bitch."

"is that why you hit others? you want to be treated the same way, hm?"

you moan at his words, clenching your thighs together before they're roughly spread wide again by jay—positioning himself at your entrance, slowly teasing you.

jay raises his eyebrows mockingly before pushing in, filling you to the brim once again as you struggles to take him fully.

"f-fuck..how are you still so tight," jay swears, shocked at why he struggled to push into your walls when he was fucking into you just a few minutes ago.

you hold yourself up by your elbows, letting him use you as he pleased—as long as you got off.

"you're fucking desperate, huh? needy bitch," he snaps with his top lip turned in a sneer.

you mewl when he snaps his hips a little too hard at one point, his grip on your hips bruising.

you tightened around him, clenching each time he moved making him hiss.

"stop clenching so hard slut," he hissed maliciously before reaching one hand over to tangle itself into your hair—yanking your head up so jay could press his lips against your own.

"t-to fast," you whimper in-between the kiss when the speed of his thrusts fasten, your body trembling and shaking as you hold onto his shoulders to keep yourself from collapsing.

"shut up, brat. you're going to take what i give you," his pace getting faster and his cock plunging even deeper.

he could tell you were close, the way your eyes shut and how your bottom lip wobbled—he knew.

he continued to bottom out, his high nearing as he lets out inaudible grunts. his stomach tightens with each thrust, the feeling of your tight velvety walls tightening around his girth making him go crazy.

"m'gonna cum...p-please can i cum?" you babble, unable to push out words.

"cum for me, brat. milk my cock, s-so good f'me."

he watches your head lull back, "i-i'm cumming..o-oh," you climax with a loud moan, your head tilted back with your eyes shut and your mouth in an 'o' shape.

"so good for me," jay mumbles roughly, his pace now punishing as he desperately chases his own high.

you begin to whine from overstimulation, clenching around his cock unintentionally.

he could feel his stomach swirl, you squeezing him tight only adding to his building pressure as he grips your hips in a punishing hold.

his eyes flutter before a loud groan pushes out of him, his orgasm strong as his pace slows down to slowly ride out his high.

you squeal when you feel him shoot his load into you, feeling his warm cum coat your walls.

you watch the boy with wide eyes, feeling him rub against your sensitive walls—watching how his eyes closed once he hit his climax.

you close your eyes, relishing in the feeling of being full. suddenly, you hear click. your eyes snap open, mouth falling agape when you realize that jay had taken a photo.

"w-wait."

you feel him pull out, suddenly feeling empty and hollow before your watching him pull on his clothes. you feel his cum dribble out of your worn out cunt, looking down to see it pooling out of you and onto the desk.

confused, you hop off of the desk.

big mistake, you immediately fall to the ground.

you whimper when you feel jays hand grip onto her bicep, pulling you up and letting you hold onto him as he continues to dress.

"d-did you just take a photo of me?" you ask desperately, your eyebrows furrowed and the pit in your stomach fills with dread.

"w-here are you going?" you squeak as you watch him button the last button on his previously wrinkle-free school shirt.

"home," he answers nonchalantly.

"b-but the photo?"

"and you should too, wouldn't want daddy dearest to file a missing person report," he teases, ignoring the questions regarding the photo he had taken.

you stare at him, "w-wait," you start only for jays glare to shut you up.

"shut up and clean yourself up, my cum is oozing down your leg you nasty bitch," he snaps before he's bending down to grab your clothes, handing them to you.

you hesitantly oblige, "w-what now?"

jay lets out a small sarcastic laugh, "what now?"

you nod, your body still shaking as you start to slide on your shirt—your bra long gone.

"now, you behave. you don't taunt, tease or bully, understand? or else-" he pulls out his phone, a picture of you fucked out with his dick still in you. your hair was messy and your lips swollen and read, marks scattered all of your upper body. "this gets sent around. got it?"

you nod slowly, swallowing harshly at his threat. your bottom lip wobbled as tears threatened to spill out of your eyes making jay coo. using two of his fingers to lift up your chin, he leans down to lick away the stray tears on your cheek, "don't cry sweetie, just don't be a bitch and you'll be fine."

he then grins, "i think i made you cum a few times, no?"

"h-huh?"

"'jays probably never made a girl cum before, he probably doesn't even know how to in the first place'," he mimicked with a lazy look.

"j-jay-" you start only for him to grab the nape of your neck to pull you close.

"listen to me and listen carefully brat, tomorrow you're going to apologize to me in front of everyone and you're going to do exactly as I say, understood?" he threatens, his eyes blazing daring you to defy him.

"or else, you know what," referring to the picture on his phone.

you whine at his harsh grip before nodding, "words brat."

"yes, sir."

"good."

he harshly lets go of you, your frail body toppling back slightly—bumping into the desk you were set on top of only a few minutes ago.

he starts to walk towards the door of the class, the keys that the teacher had trusted him with in his palm.

he reaches the door and grips the handle, stopping for a second to turn and look at you.

"oh, and don't wear panties tomorrow—i have a few things planned. have fun cleaning yourself up, __," he grins before leaving you behind.

— enjoy this fic? check out my other ones right here!

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 12

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose. Also Discussion of toxic media/fandom/death threats.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Lando sat on the couch, staring at his phone like it had personally betrayed him. Lizzie, curled up next to him with Mara at her feet, noticed his thumb hovering over the screen, hesitating. She nudged him with her knee.

"Alright, what is it? Did Max send you another cursed meme?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. There was something going on. Something that he hadn't told her yet. 

She had learned to read Lando well enough to pick up on these kinds of unsaid cues. The way he looked, the way he smiled, his eyes just so crinkling at the corners...she knew exactly the titl of his head, the way the right corner of his mouth ticked up in a smile when he read something funny on his phone...She knew. 

And she treasured all these tiny details, hoarded them like a dragon did to it's gold. 

Lando huffed a small laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. "Worse."

Lizzie's eyebrows furrowed, concern creasing her forehead. That wasn't good.  "Worse? What's worse than Max Verstappen's questionable taste in humor?" she asked, trying to infuse some humour into the situation, but Lando didn't seem interested in that. 

He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. "So, you know how I sent that picture of Mara in her Ferrari bandana to Charles?"

Lizzie's face lit up as she nodded, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Yes, how could I forget? The cutest picture I've ever seen."

Her dog was the most adorable dog to ever grace this earth, thank you very much. (She was very much certain that every dog owner had thought that at one moment in time, but she was correct!) 

Lando chuckled and pulled her into his side. She breathed in the scent that was simply him, something fresh and warm and so utterly Lando...feeling his body warmth seep into her, through the thin shirt he was wearing. "Yeah, yeah, you’ve said that a thousand times," he teased. "But you’ll never guess what happened when Charles showed that picture to his girlfriend."

Lizzie raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "What, did she think it was so cute it gave her a heart attack?" she joked. Not that she could fault Charles' girlfriend if that was indeed the case. 

"She recognized Mara," Lando said drily. That was not what Lizzie had expected. Actually that was the last thing she had expected.  "Alexandra Saint Mleux," Lando said, watching her reaction carefully. "is apparently a Lizzie Treshton superfan."

Lizzie’s eyes widened. "Wait, seriously?" she asked, a mix of shock and amusement coloring her voice. Really? "A F1 WAG read my books?"

"Not just her," Lando said, shaking his head. "All of them. And they’ve decided they need to meet you. Effective immediately."

Lizzie stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. 

"So what, they started plotting?" she teased.

"Plotting would be an understatement," Lando said, amused. "I have been forcefully added to the WAG council group chat, and they are demanding that I bring you to a race."

The mere idea of being in a group chat with the wives and girlfriends of Formula 1’s elite sounded like a scene straight out of a fanfiction, but apparently it was her real life now. 

"There’s a WAG council?" She asked, shocked besides herself. That sounded...actually, she had no idea what that sounded like. 

"Apparently."

"That’s amazing," Lizzie said, still giggling. 

Lando made a face. "It’s terrifying."

Lizzie bit her lip, trying not to laugh. "Demanding might be a strong word, though, right?"

"Oh, no," Lando corrected, his expression deadly serious. "There were threats, bribes, and full capital letters. Also, they all want signed copies of Seasons of Fate."

Lizzie let out a soft oh of understanding before shaking her head with a grin. "You know, I really didn’t think this was how our relationship was going to get outed," she said drily. Really. This was really not what she had had in mind. 

"Neither did I," Lando admitted. "But the WAGs are apparently above no tactics when it comes to getting their hands on signed books."

Lizzie raised an eyebrow, her curiosity only growing. "So, what exactly did they say?"

Lando sighed, running a hand through his curls. "Well, for starters, Alex offered to ‘whore out her Ferrari golden boy boyfriend’ if it meant getting you to Silverstone."

Lizzie cackled. "She said that?"

"Verbatim," Lando confirmed, looking equal parts entertained and exhausted. "And apparently, Charles will sign whateveryou want if he doesn’t want to be murdered in his sleep."

She burst out in laughter at that. 

"Well, that sounds like... quite the deal," she said, trying desperately to stay serious. "I don’t know whether to be concerned or find it hilariously absurd."

Lando smirked, clearly amused by the situation. "It’s a lot of both," he assured her. "But they're not afraid to play dirty." He grew serious. "I wanted to talk to you before this all blows up. I know we haven’t exactly been hiding, but we also haven’t been, you know, public."

Lizzie sobered slightly, understanding what he was getting at. "You’re worried about what happens when people know."

He nodded. "It’s just… your life is already busy, and the last thing I want is for my world to make things harder for you. The fans, the media, the scrutiny—it’s a lot. And I don’t want you to feel pressured into dealing with that."

Her heart painfully constricted, her expression softened, because it was clear that Lando was worried about this. "I appreciate that," she said sincerely. "But, Lando… I’ve been dealing with fan and media attention for a while now. I thinkI can handle it."

Lando frowned slightly. "Yeah, but F1 media is different. It’s relentless. They’ll speculate about everything, dig through your old tweets, try to twist things. Hell, they’re probably going to turn Mara into some kind of meme."

Lizzie smirked. "I mean, she is an icon. It’s about time the world recognizes it."

Lando groaned. "Lizzie."

She laughed before squeezing his hand. "Look, I won’t pretend it won’t be overwhelming. But I do know that I don’t want to keep pretending we’re just… nothing."

"You know that they’ll be hounding your every move?" he warned her, his voice tinged with concern. "The fans can be ruthless, the media is relentless, and the tabloids—well, they make up their own storylines."

She nodded. "I won’t lie, I know it’s going to be overwhelming. I mean, I have seen what happens when the internet latches onto F1 relationships. But I also know I don’t want to pretend we’re just… nothing. You make me happy, and I don’t want to hide that."

Lando was silent for a moment, his eyes meeting Lizzie's. His thumb traced a gentle circle on the back of her hand as he seemed lost in thought.

“You make me happy too,” he told her, his voice soft. “But they’ll…they’re going to dissect every little thing. If you don’t come to a race, we’ll probably be at the brink of a break up. If you do come, they’ll write ridiculous headlines of you stealing the spotlights. They are going to speculate on how long we’ve been together, probably even come up with wild conspiracy theories..."

She could hear it in his voice, how much it stressed him...how uch even just the thought of people doing that to their relationship was hurting him. 

"Hey," she said softly. "I’m a bestselling fantasy author, Lando. People come up with wild conspiracy theories about my books on a daily basis. I can handle it."

Lando chuckled at that. "Fair point," he admitted, conceding her argument. The tension in his shoulders eased some. "I just…I want you to be sure,” Lando said hesitantly. “The Formula One fandom is another level when it comes to speculating about relationships. And some fans are bloody mental. I have literally received death threats, and I am not the only one. And the media? They are going to be relentless. They’ll ask questions about you at every race, they’ll bring up your epilepsy, they’ll try to spin things."

Lizzie knew that. She was very much aware of that. But Lizzie had lived with her epilepsy for nearly all her life. She already had heard every single horrible thing somebody could say about that. 

Now it would be more of the same. Simply on a bigger stage. 

Was it scary? Yes. 

Did she care? Not really. 

So Lizzie simply squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I know. I’m not naive. And I won’t pretend it doesn’t scare me a little. But I also know I don’t want to let fear dictate my life. We’re in this together, right?"

"Of course, we are."

Lizzie leaned in, resting her forehead against his. "Then let’s do it."

Lando grinned, all traces of his earlier tension disappearing. "You’re braver than me," he said, pulling her closer so he could kiss her forehead. "Are you sure you’re ready for this circus?"

A mischievous glint flashed in Lizzie's eyes. "Honey, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing about a war between magical races, it’s that I can handle whatever comes my way."

Lando chuckled, shaking his head at her audacity. "You’re something else, you know that?" he said warmly. 

"Yes," she said, grinning. "So, you’ll take me to Silverstone?"

"I was supposed to be the one inviting you, you know," Lando muttered, feigning exasperation.

Lizzie just smirked. "Too slow, Norris.  Let’s do it. If the WAGs want signed books, I might as well hand-deliver them."

Lando let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine. But the moment we walk into the paddock together, the internet is going to explode."

Lizzie leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before pulling back with a knowing smile. "Then let’s give them a show, shall we?"

[cece693]

Stupid Crush (Nico di Angelo x Son of Poseidon)

This was something that suddenly came to mind and I couldn't help myself :) Hope you enjoy it.

Summary: It wasn't just the fact that Nico had to reveal his crush on Percy in front of Cupid, but when your boyfriend, the twin brother of said boy, was also in attendance, Nico's life was destroyed.

tags: Nico confesses his crush on Percy, however he's dating you, reader is Percy's twin brother, things get angsty 😈

Nico’s heart pounded in his chest as Cupid’s mocking voice echoed around them, his magic coiling around Nico's soul like a noose. Jason stood on one side, his blue eyes wide with concern, while you—Percy’s twin brother and Nico’s boyfriend—were on the other. Cupid’s voice dripped with cruel amusement, cutting through the silence like a knife. "The truth, Nico di Angelo. Tell them who once held your heart."

Nico’s throat closed up, his worst nightmare unraveling before his eyes. This was the moment he had fought so hard to avoid—the truth he had buried deep within himself, even from you. But there was no escape now. Cupid’s magic tightened, pulling the confession from his lips like a venomous secret. "I…" Nico’s voice cracked, his fists trembling as he clenched them at his sides. "Percy Jackson."

The air in the room shifted. Your breath hitched, but Nico couldn’t bring himself to look at you. He knew what he would see—shock, hurt, betrayal, the crumbling of the trust you'd built together. The pain he’d been dreading. "What?" Your voice came out in a cold, broken whisper.

Nico swallowed hard, staring at the floor. "It was before I met you, before Percy got with Annabeth. I thought—" He stopped, the words turning to ash in his mouth.

But you could read between the lines. Now everything made sense, how Nico easily allowed you to befriend him; you weren't special, just a boy who shared the same face as someone Nico loved. Loves. "So, let me get this straight. You're only with me because my brother didn't return your feelings? Am I just your consolation prize?"

Nico’s head snapped up, panic swelling in his chest. "No! No, it’s not like that!"

Your eyes narrowed, fury replacing the initial shock. "Really?" you spat, taking a step toward him. "Because from where I’m standing, it sounds like you settled for me when you couldn’t have Percy."

Nico’s voice wavered as he pleaded, desperate to make you understand. "I didn’t settle! I chose you because I love you. That crush…it was stupid. It doesn’t mean anything anymore!"

But Cupid’s laughter echoed again, cruel and jagged like shattered glass. "Ah, but old feelings never truly die, do they, son of Hades?" The god’s voice teased, his presence hanging over them like a storm. "You can hide it, bury it, but the truth always has a way of surfacing." Nico had never wanted to strike down a god as much as he did now. "Now that the truth is out," Cupid continued, his mocking tone fading as his presence disappeared, "I'll leave you to deal with the consequences."

Silence fell, but the weight of Cupid’s words lingered like a blade pressed against Nico’s throat.

"You played me." Your voice, thick with unshed tears, barely above a whisper but laced with so much pain that it felt like a physical blow. "You say you love me, but if Percy hadn't chosen Annabeth…if he had even shown the slightest interest in you, would you still have ended up with me?"

Nico froze, the question like a dagger to his chest. He wanted to deny it, to say that nothing would have changed the way he felt about you. Perhaps your friendship did arise from some misguided crush on Percy, but as time progressed, Nico fell in love with you. You. But even then it took time for him to distance who you and Percy were, sometimes it even stunned him how much you were alike, so if Percy did magically return his feelings, would Nico fall for you? His silence seemed to confirm your suspicions as your expression hardened.

"That’s what I thought."

Jason stepped forward, trying to break the tension. "Guys, come on. Maybe we should—"

"Stay out of it!" You snapped, your voice sharp enough to make him flinch. Jason took a step back, helplessly looking between you both, understanding that this was something beyond his control.

Nico reached out, desperate to grab your hand, to stop you from slipping further away, but you recoiled. "Don’t." Your voice was quiet but firm, the finality in that one word shattering the last bit of hope Nico had. "Just…don’t."

Nico could only watch as you turned away, disappearing into the shadows. Jason hesitated for a moment before following after you, leaving Nico alone in the cold, empty chamber, the weight of what he had just lost settling deep in his bones.

When the three of you returned to the Argo II, the change in atmosphere was immediate. Gone was your usual bright demeanor, replaced by hollow eyes and the kind of blank expression that spoke of barely contained pain. Nico, too, was different. His usual quiet presence had shifted into something darker—his shoulders slumped under the weight of regret, his face pale as if he were just moments away from breaking.

The others exchanged worried glances but said nothing as you silently headed toward your cabin. The slam of the door reverberated through the ship, causing everyone to flinch, even Nico, whose eyes lingered on the door as if willing it to open and for everything to go back to how it had been. But it wouldn’t.

Hazel was the first to break the silence. "What happened?" she asked, her voice soft, her gaze fixed on Nico. When he didn’t respond, avoiding her eyes, she looked to Jason, who merely shook his head, pity etched across his features. "Nico," Hazel pressed gently, her worry growing. "You can talk to us."

But Nico didn’t answer. Instead, he stepped back, letting the shadows around him rise, and within moments, he was gone—leaving the others standing in silence.

Days had passed, but to Nico, each one felt like an eternity. Every hour that dragged on without your voice, without your gaze meeting his, was a torment he hadn’t anticipated. The coldness that had settled between you was suffocating. Whenever Nico approached, even just to be in the same room, you’d find some excuse to leave. He could sense it, the way you tensed whenever he was nearby, the way you averted your gaze, as if looking at him was too painful. And that hurt more than anything—knowing he was the cause of it.

The others noticed the growing distance between you two. The worried glances exchanged over meals, the whispers behind his back. Jason and Hazel, in particular, kept trying to reach out, but Nico had shut himself off. What could he say? How could he explain the rift when the mere thought of it made his chest ache? Even Leo, who usually cracked jokes at the dinner table, had grown more subdued, as if the tension in the air had smothered his usual cheer.

Nico couldn’t bear it anymore. He had to fix this—he had to at least try. He couldn’t stand the silence, the void that had replaced the closeness they once shared. So, one night, when the Argo II drifted quietly through the sky and everyone had retreated to their cabins, Nico ventured out onto the deck. The night was cool, the stars twinkling above like distant, indifferent observers to his misery. But that wasn’t what caught his eye.

You were there—alone, standing at the edge of the ship, staring out into the horizon. For a moment, Nico just watched you, his heart aching at how much he missed simply being near you. He could almost imagine everything was fine—that you were waiting for him, that you’d smile when he approached, kiss his forehead, and mention how he needed to take better care of himself.

Gathering his courage, Nico stepped forward, his footsteps soft against the deck. "Can we talk?"

You stiffened at his voice, but didn’t turn around. For a few agonizing moments, there was nothing but silence. Then, with a sigh, you spoke, your voice devoid of the warmth Nico so desperately missed. "I don’t know what there is left to say."

Nico’s heart sank, but he pressed on. "Please, just let me explain."

At that, you turned to face him, and Nico saw the exhaustion in your eyes. The sleepless nights, the weight of betrayal, all of it etched into your features. "Explain what, Nico?" Your voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, a coldness that made his chest tighten. "That you were in love with my brother? That you settled for me? That I wasn't your first choice? Do you think words are going to fix this?"

"No," Nico whispered, stepping closer, his voice strained with the weight of everything he wanted to say. "No, I don’t think words can fix it. But I never meant to hurt you. I—" He paused, swallowing hard, trying to find the right words. "It was a crush. A stupid, meaningless crush. I didn’t choose you because of Percy. I chose you because of you."

Your eyes flickered with something—anger, hurt, betrayal—but you didn’t waver. "Then why didn’t you deny it when I asked you? Why didn’t you just say that nothing could have changed how you felt about me? Why did you hesitate?"

Nico opened his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. He hadn’t known what to say back then, and even now, he was at a loss. How could he explain that moment of doubt without sounding like the worst kind of person?

"You see?" You shook your head, your expression hardening. "You couldn’t. You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t just second best. But, do you know what hurts the most? It’s not just that you had feelings for Percy. It’s that a god had to force you to tell the truth. If Cupid hadn’t intervened…how long would you have strung me along? How long would I have been in the dark while you carried this secret? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I—" Nico started, his voice faltering. "I didn’t mean to hide it from you. I didn’t want you to get hurt. It was just a crush. Something stupid. And I thought I’d gotten over it, I swear." He took a step closer, his eyes pleading with you to understand. "I grew a crush on Percy when we were younger—when I first came to camp. He was the hero. Brave, kind...everything I wasn’t. And I thought, maybe if I could be near him, maybe I’d feel like I belonged."

Nico’s hands clenched into fists at his sides as he remembered those days, the confusion, the hope, and the loneliness that had followed. "But it wasn’t real. Not like what I feel for you. Percy was this…this idea in my head, someone I admired from afar. But you—" His voice broke, his eyes locking onto yours with desperation. "You were real. You saw me for who I am, all the broken parts, and still cared. What I feel for you isn’t some crush or fantasy. It’s love. I love you."

You shook your head, your face twisted with both anger and pain. "But how am I supposed to believe that, Nico? After everything? How do I know you aren’t still lying to yourself or to me? You say it’s love, but how do I trust that?"

Nico felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him. He couldn’t lose you—he couldn’t. "I’m not lying," he insisted. "I swear it. On the River Styx, on my mother, on Bianca—on everything I hold dear—I love you. I don’t care about Percy anymore. What I had for him was nothing compared to what I feel for you."

The solemn weight of Nico’s oath filled the air, the magic of the River Styx sealing his words, making them unbreakable. The sky seemed to darken for a moment, a rumble of thunder far in the distance, confirming the binding nature of his vow.

But you didn’t flinch, didn’t waver. Your eyes, once filled with love, now only reflected the deep wounds left behind. "Maybe you believe that, Nico," you said softly, but the coldness in your voice made it clear that something between you had shifted, something that could never be undone. "But I can’t anymore. I can’t keep going, wondering if I’ll ever fully have your heart. Because that shadow—the one you said lingered over you—it’ll always be there, won’t it?"

Nico’s breath hitched, the weight of your words crushing him. He wanted to scream, to beg, to prove that you were wrong. That there was no shadow, no lingering doubt in his heart. But his silence, that hesitation back in Cupid’s lair, had already broken something vital between you. And now, no matter what he swore on, no matter how much he begged, you didn’t believe him anymore.

Tears pricked at Nico’s eyes as he realized that he was losing you, that you had already made up your mind. "Please…" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Please don’t go."

You looked at him for a long, painful moment, and Nico thought—hoped—that maybe there was still a chance. But then, you shook your head, and turned away, leaving him standing there, the solemn weight of his oath ringing hollow in the night air. Nico felt the cold wind biting at his skin, but it was nothing compared to the emptiness that had settled deep within him as he watched you walk away. Alone, once again.

[red-takami]

Perma Shifting - as a successful shifter and my view on it (I just wanna yap that's all)

Earlier today I had seen a rather popular shifter speak about her shifting experiences and her not believing in Perma Shifting. This caught my interest, mainly because i myself am a Shifter who DOES believe in PS, and I also know a lot of successful shifters who also believe in it.

I overall just am very intrigued in the idea of what people mean by not "believing" in PS. Do you not believe in choosing to stay in your Dr? Or do you not believe in the ability in staying one exact reality for permanent? This is a bit of a wormhole I know, especially for shifters who plan on living multiple lives- for a very long time. How do you guys feel about immortality? In the sense of shifting away before death anyway.

Questions and curiosity aside, I personally believe in PS because of my own perspective. In my eyes, every Dr of mine is the same level of reachability as my Cr, like they're all in range of possibility if I chose so. When I shift, taking my MHA Dr for example - in my eyes, that place THEN becomes my current reality. Because it's where I'm currently at. I choose to shift back to the previous reality (my now current reality) and this has never happened without my intention behind it.

Take another example, my Navariah Dr.

This Dr is a place that isn't a media, or a book, it's a random and made-up fantasy world I had built in a whim and chose to shift to after I had gotten a taste of fantasy-esk realities from my Dragon Dr. I had shifted to this reality relatively quickly, and get this! I stayed for an entire 9 years and 7 months. That's almost a decade you guys.

The plan wasn't to stay that long in the slightest, I shifted purely to get a peek into the world I had created and see what it looked like and possibly use that sneak peek to form my decision on shifting back there later on. But guess what you guys?! This ended up being my top, longest shift I had ever done by far. Each month went by, and eventually my previous reality (my now Cr) had been a distant memory and pretty much old news. I wasn't worried about anything going on here at all while in Navariah, because I had gotten so caught up in that world and everything happening over there - the clock continued to tick whether I was paying attention or not.

Of course, I thought about my Cr often, but truthfully I hadn't started debating on actually coming back until the 5th year. In my opinion, this is a grand example of what it could look like/feel to shift and find that you have no current desires to shift back.

If I could shift, and stay in a Dr for almost an entire decade, who's to say someone out there hasn't already decided to spend the rest of their days in a Dr? Or at least, making that place - whatever it is - your new home Cr.

Do I ever plan on PS? I have absolutely considered it. Hell, if we're bringing TECHNICAL HERE🌚 I have, but not in some big revolutionary way. The Cr I am in right now is a place I've shifted to probably two years ago now (?) it's been a long time. Where I am now is a place that I had built for myself back then, and I live it everyday. However, there are other places i had given thought to staying permanently. Navariah, again, is a great example of this. I miss my life dearly there, I miss my family, I miss my friends and lovers, I miss my Dragons, I miss my magic, and I miss the lovely planet Navariah flourished on. The way the sun set and made the sky dance with colors and personality that my Cr's sky lacks. There's so many things that make me half convinced to leave everything and just go back home to Navariah.

But what about you all? What about HERE. I've spent the first quarter of my life in this plane of existence, with a constantly growing and changing reality as my Cr. I've built something here, and I feel that there's something I need to see out here. A teeny, tiny voice tells me that it'd be in my best interest to stay and find out - to experience. And so, that was enough to keep this place as my planted home-point.

For those who permashift, I support you wholly. I don't need details or a reason to, this is your life and these are decisions that are entirely yours to make nomatter what opinions I or anyone else may have.

Whoever you are, we believe in you.

[daveth-isnt-dead]

Coalescence part 1/3

Part Two

Summary:

She’s so nervous that her breath catches in her lungs and doesn’t come back out, from her side she can hear Viktor’s foot tapping a frantic rhythm against the tiles. Without even thinking it through, her hand finds his and grabs it tight. He doesn’t pull back, if anything he holds hers even tighter. The question rises once again, unbidden. What are we? AKA: She works with Viktor for seven years, she is in love with him for five of them.

Contains: she/her pronouns, supremely slow burn, me pretending to know what science is

Word Count: 7,722

Read on AO3

What are we? She wonders, sitting across the room from the two brilliant minds behind Hextech. Not friends, certainly; colleagues barely. Strangers, probably. She hadn't exactly been looking for assistant work, but after years of flitting between different fields of study but never finding anything that really stuck, an assistant position offered her the freedom to study whatever she pleased without the looming threat of expulsion should she continue skirting the requirement of choosing a major. Heimerdinger had a hand in this, of course. She’s noticed recently, he’s had a hand in a great many things. Didn’t want to forsake a bright mind over some simple indecision, he’d argued, and then tossed her headfirst into the very new Hextech lab without much of a warning. 

She mostly sits in the corner, brings coffee even though neither of them ever actually asks for it, and works on her own research well out of the way of whatever potential explosion brews on the other side of the room. They had a lengthy discussion the day she first joined, both of them up in arms as if Heimerdinger had just assigned her to keep an eye on them. He had, but she had very little interest in doing so and told them as much. 

“I keep to myself.” She’d said, “You’ll forget I’m even there.” Then, remembering that she was supposed to be an assistant, added, “Unless you need something, of course.”

They rarely ever need something, at least not something that they can’t already work out between the two of them. She feels a bit like a hanger-on, and an unwanted presence, but it’s better than expulsion. So she ignores the other side of the room as best she can and quietly flips through a textbook about whatever has her attention that month. Most recently it’s pottery, and she hopes that she might be able to sneak out of the room and try her hand at the wheel in the fine arts wing of the academy before it’s locked for the evening. 

She peers up from her textbook to look at the clock on the wall. It’s just an hour until then and from what she can hear behind her it seems they are still very much in the middle of something. They probably wouldn't even notice if she were to go missing. 

So she closes the cover on her book and tucks it under her arm, spinning around in her chair to announce that unless they need anything, she’s headed to another department for the end of the day, only to stop in place when she realises that Jayce is missing. “How long has he been gone?” She asks, more to herself than anyone else. 

Viktor, who’s hunched over a pile of notes on the other side of the room gives her a dismissive gesture over his shoulder and doesn't even bother turning around. “Only fifteen minutes, he’s getting dinner.”

“I could have done that.” 

He shrugs, “He thought you seemed busy.” and then, peering at her over his shoulder, “He also thought the walk might help clear his head.” She clutches tightly at the book under her arm, suddenly feeling a bit guilty about her plan to leave early, especially with the sun already setting and Viktor now alone in the room. She bristles, almost defensively, “He really should have asked me to do it, that’s the only thing I ever do around here.”

Viktor hums, “Indeed.” She wants to get angry at first, to snap at him. It wouldn't help any though, it’s not like the two of them really wanted an assistant. How infrequently they ever ask for her help is proof enough. They wanted her here as much as she wanted to be here: very little. Even still, they’re stuck together and letting Viktor have it over something that wasn’t his fault would only make things worse. So she bites her tongue. 

“What did he need to clear his head of?” She asks, trying to wrench something from him that might result in at least a shred of goodwill, “Are you having trouble?”

In the month or so that she’s been sequestered in the back corner of the lab, she hasn't overheard anything more than a minor setback, the occasional explosion. Though in her mind, an explosion is still at least a lesson in what not to do. Progress is progress. This is the first time she’s seen either of them truly stumped. 

“We’re at the edge of a breakthrough.” Viktor replies, “But we cannot seem to get over it.”

Decision made, she places her book back down on the desk and starts walking over to the other side of the room, “Hard spot to be in, are you just going through your notes?” He sighs, “For now, yes. Though it hasn’t helped any.” 

His desk is large enough that there’s space for her to lean up beside him. He looks tired when he peers up at her, though from what she’s seen of him, that’s pretty normal. Positioned where she is, she covers up most of the setting sun as it streams in through the window, all but for one perfect beam of it that slices down the right side of Viktor’s face, straight across his eye. Her head tilts, had they always been so golden?

“Do you want to talk through it? I’m a good listener, and saying it out loud is probably more helpful than just re-reading your notes for the hundredth time.” His brow creases, and he leans back a little further in the chair. The beam of light hits his hair now, making it shine almost orange, “Eh, I suppose it couldn’t hurt, at least until Jayce comes back.” he tilts his head in the direction of Jayce’s desk, “Go get his chair, he won’t mind.”

She does as he says, wheeling the chair over and parking herself beside Viktor, resting her elbows on the desk. He shoots her a look out the corner of his eye, and she quickly removes her elbows. “Sorry.”

“Be careful with the things on my desk, I’d prefer it didn't become more disorganised than it already is.”

“Duly noted.” She replies, instead resting her hands in her lap and rotating her chair to face him a little more directly, “Ready when you are.”

She doesn't understand all that much about his explanation, though there are little moments here and there that resonate with her, or that sound familiar enough that she can grasp the concept. Some parts she recognises from hearing the two of them talking about it behind her, but overall she’s just stunned at his retention and how quickly he elaborates on such complex topics. She leans forward in her chair, watching intently at his sharp gesticulation and the way his brow creases when he struggles to find the right word. She nods along even though she doesn't completely understand because the important thing is to get him thinking about it, whether she understands doesn't matter one bit. 

“-but we’ve already established that it cannot be done that way, so all of that work just needs to be thrown away and-” “Why not?” He stops mid-thought, eyes darting to hers, stunned to hear her speak after so long. He laughs, incredulous, “Why not ? We’ve already tried it and imploded.” She still doesn't quite understand the difference between imploding and exploding, but it's irrelevant, “Did you figure out why?”

“It was too hot. We couldn’t produce enough power inside of the casing without it imploding. We did try reducing the power and adjusting the-” He cuts himself off, suddenly turning back to the desk and resting his chin in his palm. His eyes dart across the various notes and blueprints sprawled there and then after a few agonising moments he lets out a breathless chuckle, “We never tried adjusting the casing for airflow.” She smiles, the feeling of it on her lips aching with an unfamiliar fondness, “There you go.” she stands from the chair and heads back over to her desk, “I suspect you’ll be busy until Jayce gets back, then. So I might head home.” a glance at the clock confirms that the fine art wing will be well closed by now, but she finds herself not minding all that much, “Enjoy your dinner.” At first, she thinks that he isn't going to answer, the room filled with the sound of a desperate pen scraping on paper, but just as she reaches the door, he whirls around in his chair and says, “Thank you, for permitting me to talk at you for almost an hour. It helped.” What are we now? She wonders. 

“I’m glad.” She says.

___

What are we? She can’t help but ask herself, giggling at Jayce’s face when his finger is met with a strong zap from a prototype that Viktor had just told him not to touch. 

She still sits on the other side of the room, still makes her way through a growing pile of assorted textbooks (philosophy, currently, operatic theory last month). But now it’s different. Now Jayce calls her name with an excited wave whenever they make a new development, and Viktor regularly uses her as a springboard when he can’t get his own thoughts straight. Her favorite thing though, is when she and Jayce sit cross-legged on the floor to eat lunch, unwilling to move any of the notes and prototypes strewn across the desks to create space for eating. Viktor is hard to pull from his desk, even at lunch, but with enough prodding from Jayce, he will at least spin his chair around to face the two of them while he eats instead of remaining hunched over his work. 

“Okay! Okay!” Jayce says, instinctively shaking his injured hand as if to dissipate the last of the electricity, “Don’t touch, I get it.”

Viktor huffs, but she can tell he doesn’t really mean it, “All this time and he still doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.” his head inclines in her direction, his expression of false irritation shattered by the crooked curl at the corner of his lips, “Can you believe this? Even after my warning.” Another laugh bubbles up and out of her, “Wouldn’t be the first time he’s touched something he shouldn't.” Jayce points an accusatory finger in her direction, “Hey! You know I didn’t realise that pastry was yours, you can’t keep holding this over my head.”

Viktor quips back with something that she doesn't quite hear, and she just laughs before spinning her chair back around and returning to her textbook. The three of them must be friends now, she thinks, peering over her shoulder to see that Jayce and Viktor have returned to working on the prototype. At the very least, they like her well enough to tell her what they are working on, even though that information is still strictly confidential outside of the lab. She has their coffee orders memorised, which must mean something. It's been over six months now and while she doesn't have much to offer scientifically, she likes knowing she's there to bounce ideas off when nothing seems to stick. She smiles to herself, flipping through her newest textbook, but retaining very little of it. The new prototype behind her is loud , it's the sort of sound she could easily tune out if it wasn't constantly stop-starting and fluctuating in pitch. 

From behind her, she hears a sudden panicked stream of consonants leave Viktor’s mouth and then the aching pitch of the prototype’s whirring begins to climb and climb until there’s a loud thunk when Jayce shuts off the power. Though her shoulders tense up beside her ears, she doesn’t feel the need to turn around, “Everyone alive back there?” 

Jayce lets out a breathless, nervous laugh, “Yep!”

She hears the rhythmic click of Viktor’s cane as he crosses the room and then after a moment he says, “Just having trouble getting the new prototype to resonate the way the older one did.” “Hah.” She replies, “Just be careful, another interval up and we will have lost our windows.” Silence for a moment, and then Viktor asks, “ Why? ” She spins around in her chair, the two of them are standing by the prototype, both blinking at her owlishly. Her brow furrows, “The sound.” she says, gesturing in the direction of the machine, “It’s hitting just an interval down from a high C. It’s the resonate frequency of glass, a loud enough noise matching the pitch will-”

“Yes!” Jayce exclaims, beaming wide, “The glass would begin to vibrate and then shatter.” Viktor hooks his cane over his arm and leans backward against the desk, “And this is good news, how?” She stands from her desk, buzzing with excitement, “Your resonance problem. Maybe it isn’t just about the power being produced by the crystal, maybe it’s also about the sound .”

His eyebrows jump, and then settle into a thoughtful crease as he cups his chin with his palm. “If organic magic is cast by humans, it wouldn’t be a far reach to assume that there is also a vocal component.” he hums, “If we could find a way to adjust pitch without reducing power then…” he smiles and his eyes meet hers, “You spend a good deal of time in the music wing, yes?”

She nods, “Tuning forks?”

Viktor’s smile grows wider, “Ah, like you’ve read my mind.”

She isn’t used to walking around the halls of the academy with another person beside her. Though she’s pretty comfortable with Viktor and Jayce inside of the lab these days, they rarely, if ever, spend any time together outside of it. She arrives later than they do in the mornings and leaves earlier than they do in the evenings. These days she also goes out for lunch on her own and brings the food back with her. So she keeps peering over at Viktor to make sure she is matching pace with him, clenching and unclenching her hands at her sides because she doesn’t know what she should be doing with them. 

“You study music, then?” Viktor asks after several minutes of walking in complete silence. 

She startles at his voice, not expecting to hear it, “On and off.” He hums, “You keep busy.” “I usually lose interest if I stay with one subject too long.” She admits, tucking her hands in the pockets of her slacks.

The silence returns, thicker than before. Viktor’s cane clicks on the tiles, the sound at least keeps her in tempo with him, so she doesn’t need to focus as hard on how quickly she’s walking. She takes a quick peek at him and sees that he’s just staring forward. The two of them are passing by a set of windows and his profile looks very sharp when backlit by the afternoon sun. It isn't often that she sees him outside the dim lighting of the lab. His eyes turn to meet hers and she quickly busies herself with picking the already cracked nail polish on one of her fingers. 

“Have we been of interest to you, then?” He says, the corner of his lips turning up in a smile, “Enough that you haven’t lost it?” She hadn’t really thought about it, for the most part, she still considered her time in the lab a requirement from higher-ups at the academy, but was that all it was anymore? She shrugs a shoulder, “For now.” she smirks, “Hard to lose my attention when you continually blow things up.” Viktor tuts, “There hasn’t been a single explosion this past month, besides, it’s all part of the scientific progress, yes?”

“If you say so, I’m not exactly an authority on the subject.” The two of them turn a corner and the angle of the sun changes, Viktor squints a little when the light hits his eyes, he sighs, “To think I was about to say that it’s nice to be out in the sun.” He lifts his free arm to cover his face from the light. 

She laughs, ducking her head to hide her smile, “It’s just upset with you for spurning its advances for so long.”

His brows settle in a scowl, but she can’t help smiling wider when she realises that it doesn’t reach his eyes which instead shine with a playful warmth, “Very funny.”

“I try to be.” She increases her pace a little, turning around to face him. Her backward steps slow at the sight of Viktor awash in the bright light of the afternoon sun, squinting his eyes to keep her in focus. Her continued smile is almost involuntary as she beckons him closer, “C’mon, just down the hall. If we’re quick we can get you some more sun exposure on the way back.”

The older version of the prototype hums on the bench before her, crystal spinning in a consistent whirl. It’s far less refined than their newer attempt, still assembled with whatever pieces they could find around the lab and the metal casing jitters and quakes a little under the strain. She still likes the older prototype better, all its rough edges and shaky frame, it’s a whole lot less commercial than that new chrome casing they’ve been working to perfect, but progress is progress, she supposes. As she lays three of the tuning forks out in front of her, Viktor and Jayce peer down at her expectantly and she isn’t used to feeling intimidated, so she doesn’t like it all that much. 

“I’m pretty good at picking notes by ear.” she begins, “But it’s more uh…mechanical sounding than I’m used to, zippy-” her brow creases, “or zappy? Maybe?” she gestures to the forks, “it’s somewhere within this range though.”

“Go on then!” Jayce says enthusiastically, “Give it a try!” She sucks a breath in through her teeth and grabs the fork that’s tuned to a G4, lightly tapping the prongs on the corner of the bench. The vibrations run up from her fingertips all the way to her elbow and the sound is inconsistent at first, until she raises the fork up vertically and holds her hand still. From behind her, she hears a sharp exhale of breath and then Viktor’s voice much closer than she was expecting. 

“Got it in one.” He says, and she peers over her shoulder to find that he’s leaned in closer to observe. He smiles, “You do have a good ear.”

He’s right, the sound emanating from the fork matches the ethereal pitch coming from the Hextech prototype so exactly that the two sounds begin to merge. She can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips, “Well, I guess the two of you need to figure out how to get your new prototype to hit a G4.” She spins her chair around and passes the tuning fork to Viktor, the sound comes to an abrupt stop when the prongs make contact with his palm, “My work here is done, I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”

She has the weekend off, and the day she comes back Jayce immediately grabs her hand and tugs her over to the other side of the lab with such enthusiasm that she almost topples over. She doesn't even have time to put down her bag. He beams from ear to ear as he positions her in front of the bench the prototype has taken up full-time residence on. Viktor is sitting at the bench, finishing up some last-minute wire connections when she arrives. He spins his chair to face her, and removes his goggles (leaving red rings around his eyes that she resists the urge to tease him about later) before rolling himself out of the way.

“Watch!” Jayce says enthusiastically, stepping towards the device and turning it on. As before, the crystal begins to spin, faster and faster, the casing whining under the pressure as the power builds but fails to resonate. Then from the other end of the desk, Viktor picks up a small remote connected by a set of wires and as he adjusts the knobs, the sound that the crystal creates adjusts in pitch, warbling and quivering until it settles confidently on a perfect clear G4. 

A laugh escapes her, unbidden and she oddly feels like she might start crying. Jayce grabs both her hands and exclaims, “We did it!” “You did it!” She returns excitedly.

“ We did it.” Viktor corrects, and she suddenly realises that we now includes her. 

Friends. She confirms to herself, standing up on her toes so she can wrap her arms around Jayce, she gazes at Viktor from over his shoulder and is pleased to find his eyes look especially warm when he smiles. Friends, she reiterates. 

___

The next six months pass quickly. With the resonance problem fixed, the rest of the research and prototype building seemed to come easily, with only a few notable explosions. Most of the work was still theoretical and Viktor spent hours glowering at the blackboard while Jayce put things together and then pulled them apart. Lots of the original prototypes were cannibalised for parts and she hates to see them go. Jayce was a good sport when the first prototype they ever made had to be put in storage to clear up space, laughing with her as they wrote a terrible farewell poem for it. Viktor did rest a comforting hand on her shoulder as she acted out an exaggerated goodbye to the project because even though the faux waterworks were in jest, it was as if he could somehow tell that her insides ached at the ever-persistent march of change. 

Much of the stress in the lab was around the looming threat of presenting their ideas to the council for more funding, diagrams needed to be drawn and chicken scratch notes needed to be copied into a much more legible format. That was her job for a while, hunching over her desk and transcribing notes, yelling at Jayce over her shoulder for his miserable handwriting and calling Viktor over for translations on what she started affectionately calling ‘Viktor-isms’ 

“You can’t keep giving new concepts names without explaining what they relate to.”

He scoffed, “I think it’s fairly obvious what an AOE Expansion Stabalisor is.”

She looked at him over her shoulder, incredulous, “Will it be obvious to Councilor Hoskel?”

Viktor cringed, “Ehh…allow me to draw up a diagram.”

Her best asset these days is her ability to boil down complicated concepts to their most simple forms. To essentially translate the inner workings of geniuses to something comprehensible by the layman. She has a large bound book that she is compiling all of the most essential notes into and a presentation that she is helping Jayce to draft. 

“Oh, I’ll help you write it, but I’m not speaking.” Jayce huffed, “But Viktor says he doesn’t want to speak either! It’ll just be me up there.” She laughed and gently punched him in the shoulder, “I’m sure you’ll knock ‘em dead, big guy.”

They aren’t just friends anymore. They’re something else. Something closer to family. She spends more time in the lab than she used to, abandoning her textbooks to instead work on the presentation, to sit and listen as Viktor goes on one of his hour-long rambles that slowly starts to become more comprehensible the more she listens to them. She likes listening to them. The smiles on their faces when she first decided to come in on a weekend even though she didn’t have to are still burned into her brain. Jayce’s smile was as bright as it always is, while Viktor’s was subtler, quieter; but to her, it was utterly incandescent and she couldn’t shake it from the corners of her mind for the next few hours. 

“Miss?” A voice says, ripping her from her musings and back into the present.

She blinks a few times, remembering where she is and then replies, “Sorry, Professor Heimerdinger, what did you ask?”

“No worries at all, dear girl.” He says, adjusting himself in his seat, “It’s been over a year now since I first asked you to work in the Hextech lab and I just wanted to make sure the three of you were getting along.”

“We are.” She replies sincerely, “Very well.” Viktor falls asleep in the lab sometimes. One winter afternoon she found him asleep at his desk and couldn’t bear to wake him up, so quickly and quietly, she left the lab and hurried across campus to her dorm room to grab one of her spare blankets. He hadn’t stirred while she was gone, so she took the time to tuck it around his shoulders before returning to her desk. Jayce cames in an hour later and she gestured furiously to Viktor’s sleeping form before he could let out one of his usual, very loud greetings. Holding a finger to his lips, Jayce nodded and they both silently returned to work. The blanket lives in the lab now. 

“That’s good, very good,” Heimerdinger says with a nod. His white eyebrows curve in a sympathetic arch and he leans forward in his chair, “I know that it was a shock to find that your patron had withdrawn their support last year, and while this likely wasn’t what you wanted I hope that it was of some value to you.” He laughs, “Though I do also think those boys need someone keeping an eye on them.”

She laughs, “Even now? They’re making steady progress, I’m not certain they need much monitoring.” “I know from experience that a scientist can so easily become trapped in a box of his own making, but with all your studying and your knowledge across such a wide breadth of subjects, I’m not sure those boys could keep you in a box if they tried.” He smiles softly, “They need that, or they won’t get anywhere.”

“Oh… thank you.” She mutters, pretending to be very interested in whatever is going on outside the window to avoid having to reconcile what sounded like a very genuine compliment. 

“You don’t have to stay in the lab with them if you no longer want to.” Heimerdinger says quietly, “I’m essentially your patron now and I can easily assign you to another department if-” “No!” She says sharply, then shakes her head, “Sorry, that was rude. Um, I mean, no thank you. I’m happy where I am.” Heimerdinger chuckles to himself, “Well then, are you majoring in the sciences after all?” She snorts, “ No , I don’t have the brains for it.”

Two weeks ago she caught a miscalculation in Jayce’s notes, prevented the destruction of yet another prototype. It was just pattern recognition though, she’d become so familiar with the strings of numbers and formulas in their notes that the anomaly practically screamed out to her in bleeding red writing. She was better at understanding what they spoke about now, and able to help with wiring when either of them needed extra hands, but that’s just retention, muscle memory.

Despite her depreciation, Heimerdinger smiles knowingly, “That, I find hard to believe.”

Just a week later she sits next to Viktor in the council room, eyes darting across the expressions of the council members trying to gauge any sort of reaction. She knew they had Councillor Medarda’s vote at the very least, but she’d never even been in the council room before now and had absolutely no way of knowing what direction each of them swayed. 

He must see the look on her face, because, in hushed tones, Viktor starts giving her the limited information he has, “Hoskel will vote the same direction as Medarda” he begins, leaning close to her ear,  “Kiramman has a soft spot for Jayce, Heimerdinger has hopefully swung in our direction but other than that, I have no idea.”

She swallows and turns to look at him, “No, thank you, that helps.” she heaves an uneasy breath in her throat, “I don’t like it in here.” Viktor chuckles, “Me either, but look at Jayce go, there’s a reason he’s the face of this operation.”

It’s true, he’s a natural. While she sits completely tense in the shadows, he gesticulates just enough and speaks at just the right volume. She spent so long helping him to perfect the script for the presentation that she can practically follow it along with him. 

Then it comes time for him to show the new prototype, the final version, the one that sings a perfect G4 and resides in a casing that doesn’t rattle or whine even when the gemstone is generating full power. She’s so nervous that her breath catches in her lungs and doesn’t come back out, from her side she can hear Viktor’s foot tapping a frantic rhythm against the tiles. Without even thinking it through, her hand finds his and grabs it tight. He doesn’t pull back, if anything he holds hers even tighter and they both hold their breath as Jayce activates the prototype. 

A clear and beautiful G4 fills the room, an angelic hum that sounds like magic in and of itself. When all the tensed muscles in her body release, it takes all her willpower not to burst into tears or laughter of utter relief and when she turns to Viktor he looks exactly the way she feels; exhilarated, soft and warm after months of anxiety just melted from him. He smiles and oh god. 

The question becomes more singular, we now refers to two people instead of three and oh god , what are we?

___

What are we? She wonders one year later, frozen in the doorway of her childhood bedroom, holding her breath as if it will prevent him from noticing she’s there. Viktor stands beside her single bed, weight resting on his cane as he leans forward to peek at the old doodles she pinned to the corkboard years ago. He’s smiling. 

Bringing both Jayce and Viktor to her father’s house had not been on the docket earlier in the day, but sometimes fate has its own ideas. The next and hopefully last presentation to the council is coming up tomorrow morning and they have spent the last few months working on a 1:250 scale recreation of the final idea. It took a long time, but it’s finally gotten to the point that they can reliably transport a medium-sized object from one side of the room to the other and if they push the power, they can even manage to move something halfway across campus. 

It was her idea to provide a more accurate visual aid, that if they were planning to push the project as a vessel for trade routes, the council would likely grasp the idea better if the object they were transporting actually looked like a dirigible, instead of the old metal crate they had been using during tests. While Jayce agreed with the idea, it had come pretty late during preparation and he was worried that there wouldn’t been time to get it finished while they also worked together on drafting the presentation. It was Viktor who insisted on building it. 

“I used to assemble these sorts of contraptions for fun .” He’d said, already arranging a collection of metal pieces on his workbench, “Besides, I’m going to be far more useful working on this than I am working on your script.” He peered at her from over his shoulder, “I don’t share your gift for linguistics.” 

So while she and Jayce poured over notes and collected the most legible blueprints they had available, Viktor tinkered at his desk, welding and folding metal. It didn’t take him long at all to finish it, two whole days in the lab with very brief breaks for meals when she or Jayce forced him to eat something and a trip or two to the textile department for the fabric components. She had a great deal of fun inflating the miniature airship and shooting it back and forth through the miniature Hexgate, but the night before the presentation they were overcome with concern at just how long it took for the dirigible to appear on the other side of the room. 

Viktor huffed and pushed his hair out of his face as he stared at it, “It should only take a second for it to make the journey, but now it’s taking four .” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “It must be something to do with the shape? Previously we were using a square object, far less complex.”

So he and Jayce set to adjusting the prototype while she made a few last-minute changes to Jayce’s speech. The problem came when they tested the Hexgate one last time, they had overcorrected and the dirigible emerged on the other side of the room at a greater forward velocity than they had been expecting and collided directly with a pile of discarded scrap metal. Her head shot up from her desk just in time to watch as it started falling to the ground, kicking her chair out from behind her and diving for the airship, letting out a grunt as the heavy object landed in her arms. 

Luckily she had been quick enough on her feet to prevent any structural damage, but the collision had torn a hole in the fabric and unless they managed to get that fixed before the sun came up, it wasn’t going to fly during the presentation. 

“It’s okay!” She said quickly, the moment she caught the look of quiet horror on the inventors’ faces, “The textile wing will be closed, but I have a sewing machine.” “In your dorm?” Jayce asked, expression quickly losing the air of misery it had just a moment ago. 

She grimaced, “No. not in my dorm and you’ll both have to come, I can’t carry this thing on my own and I probably need to disconnect the fabric so I can put it through the machine.”

Presently, her hand grips tightly to the open doorway, still holding her breath as she watches Viktor rest his cane against the bedside table and take a seat on her childhood bed, leaning down quickly to rub at the muscles in his bad leg. When his eyes dart up and he sees her, he freezes, “Oh, hello.” he clears his throat, “I got lost.” She snorts, “How could you get lost in a two-bedroom house?” she leans against the doorframe, unable to stop her smile, “You’re a terrible liar.” “I wasn’t lying.” “If you say so.” She replies, looking down at her toes just to avoid the broiling gold of his eyes, “I’ve got the machine set up on the kitchen table, so if you’re done snooping -” “I wasn’t snooping .” He interrupts. 

She crosses her arms, finding that she likes the incredulous expression he’s making, almost as much as she likes seeing the sharp lines of him juxtaposed with her soft floral bedsheets, “Then what were you doing?”

He sits up straight, loosely gesturing to her corkboard, “Admiring your work.” His expression settles into a soft smile, “Were you looking to study textiles when you joined the academy?” It’s been a long time since she’s been in this room. She visits when she gets the chance, but always heads back to her dorm instead of staying the night. The corkboard is covered with old clothing designs, swatches of fabric, and a button here and there. She shakes her head, “No, not really. It’s uh, it’s the family business. I haven’t thought about it all that much since taking up studying.”

“You said that your father wouldn't be here.” She nods, “He’s at the workshop, tomorrow is the busiest day of the week. He usually stays there the night before so he can get a head start in the morning.” a sigh escapes her, “My mother used to force him to come home every night, but, well…” Viktor doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. 

“My patron was one of my father’s customers. He offered to do his alterations free so long as he took care of my patronage at the academy.” She chews on her lower lip, not really sure why she is telling him all of this, “I think he expected to make some money from me, that I was some sort of genius, but I was indecisive and refused to major in anything, so he withdrew support.” Viktor laughs, “Bad luck for him then.” he says, wincing a little as he pulls himself back up from the bed, “You’re one-third of Hextech now.” She hums aloud as he crosses the room, shifting in the doorway to give him space to slip past. “Yeah,” she replies and the hand not on his cane rests briefly on her upper arm as he passes, lingering maybe a little longer than it needed to, “I guess I am.”

Her body goes slack against the doorframe, her chest expanding with a warm sigh as she watches him turn the corner to the kitchen, clearly not lost. Their relationship hasn’t changed all that much in the past year, they joke around a lot more and physical contact is more common, though it’s little more than a hand on a shoulder or the usual tight handholding at any and all presentations they give to the council. They’re friends, she reasons and whatever in her heart is telling her that it’s something else is just causing problems, an unnecessary ache. She sighs again, peering into her bedroom and imagining him still sitting there, smiling at her. It’s only when Jayce calls her name that she manages to recollect herself, calling out a quick, “I’m coming!” before they start wondering why she’s lagging behind.

___

Has something changed? She wonders. Even with the tall ceilings and open windows, the ballroom she’s trapped in feels suffocating. She sucks a shaky breath in through her teeth and continues clutching the stem of a champagne glass she’s been holding for over an hour now without actually drinking it. Jayce is planning to give an address shortly, about the success of the recently completed Hexgates, but he rightly refuses to start until Viktor arrives and it’s been long enough that she’s starting to worry he may have decided not to come altogether. 

The last two and a half years were the most difficult for the three of them. A project of such an enormous scale takes up a lot of time and a great deal more hands than the team alone could provide. Viktor quickly learned that he hated working with other people, and most nights at the lab were spent making changes to blueprints, running tests and complaining about the construction team. 

“I swear-” Viktor began one day, furiously scribbling notes on a blueprint, “-I wouldn’t be surprised to find that one of those people ate all of our crystals just because I didn’t specially label them inedible .” She’d laughed, sitting at the desk next to him and updating the construction resources with less technical language, “Be nice. If I hadn’t been eavesdropping on you for three years I probably wouldn’t know what any of this stuff means either.” Viktor sighed, “You’ve done much more than eavesdrop .” his pen stilled for a moment and his golden eyes met hers, “I can be nice, I promise.” Without thinking, she’d let her head drop to rest on his shoulder, “I know you can.” He made no move to shift her off of him, even though the weight of her head was surely going to affect the use of his dominant hand. After a lapse of comfortable silence, he let out a chuckle and inclined his head in her direction, “That cannot be comfortable.” “It’s not.” She admitted, “Your shoulder’s pointy.” “and yet you are not moving.” “That’s right.” 

“Suit yourself.” He replied, his voice barely a whisper. Before quietly returning to his writing.

Jayce grabs her attention from across the room, gesticulating wildly. She knows him well enough to immediately recognise that he is asking if she has any idea where Viktor is. All she can respond with is a concerned shrug before pointing to the nearest door, implying that she will go look for him. Jayce smiles in thanks and then returns to the gaggle of investors surrounding him. The champagne finally gets drunk, it probably would have been nicer an hour ago when it was still cold, but she needs two hands to maneuver her dress. The glass clinks when she leaves it on the nearest flat surface and starts heading to the doors, half considering never coming back, whether she finds Viktor or not. 

Not that she ever makes it through the door, because she almost bumps headlong into him as he makes his way inside. 

“Viktor!” She exclaims, half shocked and half relieved to see him. 

His mouth twitches up in a smile, “Sorry I’m late, outfit problems.” Her eyes dart down involuntarily. His suit is mossy green and the colour brings out the gold in his eyes. He looks good and she is about to say so when she notices the rudimentary steel and leather brace on his leg. Her chest cavity fills with the ice-cold chill of dread and Viktor must see it on her face because he quickly supplies an explanation. 

“Never many chairs at these things.” he says, gesturing to the brace, “A precautionary measure.”

She wants to believe him, wants so badly to believe him. The calculations all match up in her head though, him an hour late, the brace clearly made and not purchased. Four and a half years is a long time to watch someone, especially when watching as intently as she has been for at least the last two. He places more weight on his cane than he used to, and struggles to do anything that involves both hands while standing up. Even from across the lab, she can hear the way he hisses each time he has to rise from his chair and when the setting sun streams in through the window the same way it did that first month in the lab, the shadows settle deep in the hollow of his cheeks. 

“Good idea.” She forces herself to say, ignoring all of the evidence because any other explanation would be preferable. Instead, she returns to what she had intended to say from the beginning, a truth far less daunting, “You look very nice, by the way. Can’t even tell you had outfit problems.” He laughs, though it sounds a little too much like a wheeze, “You’re too kind. Anyway, let’s go find Jayce before he starts worrying.” They’ve already missed the boat on that one, Jayce is in the midst of a nervous sweat when they make their way over. His eyes also dart down to the brace on Viktor’s leg, but she watches in real-time as he dismisses the thought, gives the both of them a quick hug and shakes the nerves off before his address. 

“I’m surprised you survived so long without me,” Viktor says cheekily as Jayce heads over to grab Councillor Medarda’s attention. 

“So am I.” She replies, peering up at him with a smile, “You know I hate these big events.” Viktor returns her smile and his face melts into such a warmth that all the signs of deterioration seem imaginary for just a moment. Somewhere across the room, Councillor Medarda clinks her glass to grab the attention of the room, but right before Jayce begins his address, Viktor leans down to her ear and whispers, “You look very nice too, sorry I didn’t say so earlier.”

The feeling of those words resonates so warmly in her chest that she can’t resist holding onto them and just as Jayce steps forward, just as the usual nerves begin to set in, Viktor’s hand reaches out and grabs hers tight. The way it always does. She smiles softly to herself and rubs her thumb across the protrusion of his knuckles in thanks. Maybe nothing has changed, not really, she might just be imagining it. Even if the bones in his fingers feel more pronounced. 

Applause fills the room when Jayce finishes, at one point he even has the good grace to point out where she and Viktor are standing in the crowd, which she hates , but knows she should appreciate. He’s his usual ball of sunshine self when he comes over, beaming wide and wrapping his arms around the two of them. 

“That went great !” He exclaims, hands still shaking with the usual adrenaline associated with speech giving, “I can’t believe that we’re closing the chapter on Hexgates, whoo!” Viktor chuckles and pats Jayce on the arm, “It’s still early days yet, lots of time for things to go wrong and lots of modification on the horizon.” “I know, I know . It still feels good though, doesn’t it? To have finished something?”

She laughs, “This is probably the first thing I’ve ever finished in my life, so thank you.” her eyes drift to Viktor and then quickly back to Jayce, “Both of you.”

“To finishing things!” Jayce exclaims suddenly, and follows up with, “Wait, we need drinks, one second!” “A veritable font of energy as always,” Viktor says a few seconds after Jayce disappears.

“Pretty sure he’s already had a few drinks.” Viktor looks at her cheekily, “For the nerves, I’m sure.”

“Oh yeah, definitely just for the nerves.” She replies, watching as Jayce gets caught by another throng of investors on his way over to the bar. She sighs, “Poor guy, I’m glad I don't have his charisma.” Viktor hums aloud, “Do you think he’ll know to check the balcony when he comes back?”

“It’s only the place we always frequent at these events.” His eyes light up, “That’s a yes, then?”

“Always will be.” She replies, trying not to get lost in the way his eyes crinkle in the corners. She clears her throat, “Let’s hurry, it’s too hot in here.”

It’s like a shock of electricity when his free hand presses against the small of her back and when she peers up at him to find he is already looking down at her, the question rises once again, unbidden. What are we?

[that-tmr-girl]

Why Choose? {Newt x Thomas x Reader Smut}

When you hear Thomas and Newt talking about you, you decide you don't have to choose.

Threesome, teasing, fingering, vaginal sex, praise kink, overstimulation

Greenie was interesting. Really interesting. With his questions and attitude and attractiveness. He was something else.

Newt has always been interesting. With his track-hoe outfit and commanding voice and build. He had been the only one to catch my eye until Thomas.

I should be concerned, scared even. I know that hearing them say what they want to do to me should worry me.

The thing is I really wanted to do those things. I had fantasized about them and woken up soaked after those dreams. It was just something I couldn't explain but wanted anyway. It didn't have to make sense for it to be true.

“Y/N, she's gotta be with someone, right? If she's the only girl?”Thomas reasoned. Stopping in my tracks, I held my breath as I listened to their private conversation in the deadheads.

One that I had to hear.

“Somehow no. Nobody's just caught her eye I guess,”Newt shrugged.

“Oh. That's interesting I guess,”He trailed off.

“You in love with the girl, Thomas?”He teased.

“No,”He instantly defended, his face turning red. “I just think she's kind of cute,”He mumbled.

“Course you do.”

“I mean do you think she's cute?”He trailed off.

“You wanna know what I think of Y/N?”

“I mean yeah.”

“That she’s sweet. She's a great friend, she's caring, she’s soft, she’s the best bloody thing to happen to this place. I think she's great, and I’d take the chance to be with her like any bloke.”

“Like with her or with her?”

“Both.”

With my face flushing at his words, I turned and stared at the ground as I took in his words. It was insane. Absolutely insane. I mean yes. I do feel the same for him, but at the same time Thomas is just so special. At the same time though, Newt is special. At the same, same time, one conversation can't actually tell much. I mean, not one that I’m not participating in.

But he wants me the way I want him. Or more like the ways I want him. I want to hold his hand and sit with him every Greenie night but at the same time, end up in his bed while everyone else is busy.

Thomas though, I want him too. I want to watch the stars and stay up all night talking to him while also staying up all night because of him arching my back.

With my face only getting warmer, I glanced back at them and listened to more of the conversation.

“Don't look at me like that, mate. I see the way you stare at her.”

“So do you,”Thomas shot back.

“The difference is I never denied it, did I?”

With my breath hitching in my throat, I thought about what to do for a moment. On one hand, I keep to myself. I’m almost shy and quiet.

On the other hand, why not be bold for once? Why not go after what I want?

Without even thinking about it I stepped out of my hiding spot. Walking over to them, I kept my expression blank as they looked up at my footsteps. As they both turned red it was clear they realized I had overheard.

Finding myself unable to speak, I just grabbed their hands and pulled them up. Putting my finger to my lips, I gestured for them to follow me. Without hesitation, they did so. Holding back a grin, I led them past the trees and to the very edge of the Homestead, where my hut was. While it was specifically made to keep boys out, Alby hadn't said anything about bringing them inside.

Opening my door, I looked back to see them right behind me. Walking inside, I watched them follow suit.

“I’m sorry. I-”

Cutting Thomas off, I pushed my lips against his. After freezing for a moment, he slipped his warm tongue into my mouth. Realizing what was happening, Newt closed my door.

Thomas trailed his hand down my stomach, into my pants. Circling my clit, he made me moan into his mouth. Harshly tugging his hair, I felt the wetness drip down my thighs. Groaning in my mouth, he stuck a finger inside of me before pulling away from my mouth. Attacking my neck, he nibbled on my skin, leaving marks. Moaning louder, I felt my legs shake as he added another finger. Just as I was right there, he pulled away.

With a desperate whine I pulled my pants down, letting my underwear follow. Looking me up and down, he let his eyes travel on my body as he pulled his pants off. Tugging my shirt over my head, I threw it on the floor.

Pushing me against the wall, he placed his dick by my entrance. Looking at me for consent, when I nodded he carefully pushed himself inside of me. Digging my nails into his back, I moaned his name. Grabbing my legs, he wrapped them around his waist as he repeatedly pulled out and slammed into me. With my back arching against the wall, I felt my eyes roll back to my head at the pleasure. Dragging my nails down his back, I repeated his name as he kept pulling out and pushing in. With the knot in my core getting worse, as I was right there he pulled out. With tears almost filling my eyes at the teasing, I threw my head back as he dropped me from around him.

I didn't have to worry though as he let Newt stand in front of me. Already undressed, he asked if I wanted this. The second I said yes he penetrated me. Resting my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes against my will as my body shook. Holding my waist, he started to increase his pace, grunting near my ear as he did. With desperate sounds leaving me, I was already close. As my walls clenched around him he twitched inside of me.

“I’m gonna cum,”I moaned. Going harder, as he slammed into me once more he filled me up. Coming to my release as well, both out liquids spilled down my legs.

Pressing his lips against mine, he was a much more gentle kisser. With his hands under my jaw, he took my breath away all over again.

When he was satisfied he grabbed my hips and picked me up. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he carried me to my bed. Laying me down, he waved Thomas over. Squirming at just the thought, I watched as he positioned himself over me.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes,”I honestly answered.

Accepting it, he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the outline of his abs from his time in the Glade. Instinctively looking down as my face turned red, when I saw his hard, veiny cock, it got worse.

“Please don't tease me this time?”I begged through shaky breaths.

“You look too good to tease anymore,”He said firmly. When I let out a sound of delight at his words he aligned himself with my entrance. Staring at the ceiling, I whimpered again as he pushed his tip into me. “It’s okay. I won't go fast,”He promised, slowly pushing more of himself into me. Shutting my eyes, tears spilled from them at the overstimulation. With his hands on my shoulders, he gradually fit himself all the way inside. With strangled noises leaving me, I opened my eyes as he held himself still, letting me adjust yet again. Wrapping my arms around his back, I dug my nails into his skin at the familiar pleasure. When he heard me moan in his ear he pulled out just to slam back into me, making me gasp.

Repeating his action, he seemed to get deeper with each thrust. With my body shaking, I clung to him as he started grunting. With his hands on my thighs, he spread my legs wider as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. With his chest pressed against mine, he filled me up while sucking and biting my skin. Arching my back, I let my hands go to my side as I twisted the sheets. Grabbing them, he pinned them above my head as he sped up, making the knot in my core get worse. Twitching inside of me, he got sloppier as he pushed his lips against mine. With my eyes still rolling to the back of my head, I moaned in his mouth as he ran his fingers through my hair. As I was right there he pulled his lips away, biting down on my neck. Arching my back again, I screamed his name as I came. With another thrust, he twitched before filling me with his seed, spilling from my thighs. With our breathing raspy, we stayed there for a moment until he pulled out.

“My turn,”Newt said simply, getting on top of me. Placing himself over my soaked pussy, he looked at me for consent. The second I nodded he put his hands on my shoulders as he slammed into me. Letting out a whimper at the way I was being penetrated again, I was held still as my body shook. Keeping his pace, he moaned praises in my ear at each thrust. Feeling my toes curl as the pressure in my stomach never seemed to end, I threw my head back as he kept pushing himself into me. With black dots clouding my vision, I was making incoherent sounds. Twitching inside of me, he grabbed my waist to keep me from moving my hips up. Crashing his lips against mine, he made my eyes roll to the back of my head as he was absolutely ruthless. Moaning in his mouth, I released all over him. Carelessly pulling out and pushing in, he kept going as he pulled his mouth away, looking at my face. Barely able to breathe, I moaned as his warm liquids filled me up. Groaning, he made sure I was dripping before he pulled out.

“You’ve been such a good girl. Taking us like that,”He praised in my ear, sending chills up my spine. Kissing my forehead, he then sat me up, pushing me against the headboard.

“Hands and knees,”He commanded. Managing to do what he said, I felt my arms shake. Grabbing my waist, he made sure I was stable before nodding at Thomas.

Getting behind me, he aligned himself with my entrance before asking if I was okay. When I said I was he gently pushed into me. With overstimulation leaving me sensitive, he had to hold my waist to keep me up. Being slower, he kept saying soft praises each time he would push into me. Letting out more sounds, I dropped my head as he kept his gentle pace.

“You’re doing so good, pretty girl. Taking us so well,”He moaned as the never ending knot returned. Panting as my knees kept threatening to give out, I felt him tighten his grip as he noticed. “Fuck, you feel good. So fucking good,”He grunted. Dropping my head, my walls clenched around him. Pushing into me again, he held himself there as we both came. When he pulled out he slowly laid me on my back. With my legs shaking, I was close to tears as the feeling of them.

“You did so well,”He praised as he helped me on my back. Breathing heavily, I couldn't even nod my head. In fact, I couldn't even move.

“It’s okay, love,”Newt sighed, carefully pulling one of his boxers up my shaking legs. With my vision just barely returning, I stared at the ceiling as I admittedly wore an almost love sick smile.

Thomas pulled one of his shirts over my head, leaving me completely dressed. With both of them in their boxers, they each crawled on the opposite side of me, leaving me in the middle. With their arms wrapped around me, the feeling of safety and affection left me happier than I could ever say. Running my hands through both of their hair, I shut my eyes as I drifted off to sleep, way too happy and tired to ask what this meant. All I knew is that I was more than hoping it would happen again.

[azrielbrainrot]

I Laugh Like Me Again... She Laughs Like You - Part 3

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Description: When your own identity is challenged you're forced to find an ally in what you thought was the most unlikely place.

Warnings: Angst, Memory loss, mentions of death

Word Count: 5950

Notes: Sorry for the wait but I had to map things out to answer all the questions I started in the previous chapters (set myself up there) and lack of motivation was kicking my ass. Still, I hope you enjoy!

Part 2 ○ Part 4

You were picking at the food on your plate as Azriel stared at you, looking like he'd rather feed you himself. As hungry as you were, everything was hard to stomach. You tried to tell him as much but had only been met with a scolding, he seemed extremely interested in your health. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was content with watching you even if you never actually gave him anything. It seemed like the spymaster wasn't too preoccupied with the fact that he had caught you stealing from his High Lord.

Following your sudden breakdown, Azriel had managed to calm you down enough, insisting that you didn't talk about anything else until you ate and were ready for it. Your eyes still hurt and were probably puffy from the tears that had flowed not even an hour ago, and your head still ached, even if it didn't come anywhere close to the excruciating pain you felt before.

The same feeling as before still crawled under your skin, the same questions swirling around in your mind, but you managed to find your composure after the ache had transformed into something manageable and the tears had dried. Admittedly, you were a bit scared of prying into your mind and triggering the same reaction as before - it really had felt like your brain was trying to forcefully escape your skull.

You were still trying to make sense of everything, denying that you were missing important information wouldn't help you. There was no way Azriel was confusing you for someone else, not with the way your body reacted to him and the dreams you've had for far longer than you've been here. There was also the problem of you being a prisoner in this room, as nice and attentive as your prison guard has been there has to be a punishment waiting for you.

When your head felt like it was going to burst, you could swear someone else had barged into the room but you couldn't stay focused on it or hear what they were saying through your own desperate screams. You think you saw something red glinting, but didn't even make out anyone's form, your vision was too blurry. You're not even sure how many of them walked through the door. By the time you came to and calmed down it was only you and Azriel in the room again, and all you could feel was his arms around you, grounding you.

You bite down on another small piece of sausage, arranged as if they were meant to feed a child - you hadn't seen him cut them but you know it has to be his work - as you remembered how desperate he sounded in that moment. You're not sure if the soothing words he whispered in your ear were meant for you or for himself, he was just short of begging you to be okay. It was a little embarrassing to think about how fragile he had seen you in that moment but it was even worse remembering how intimately he held you.

Looking up at Azriel, you're not surprised to meet his eyes, they haven't left you for longer than a second, it's like he's scared you'll disappear if he looks away. You can still see the concern swirling in the beautiful hazel.

You had so many questions, knew he had even more, but you weren't sure where to even begin. Any hope of him starting to talk was evaporating faster with every second. He had told you he wouldn't bring anything up until you were ready but you thought he'd at least ask about the robbery, start off easy. You couldn't push your doubts aside any longer, it felt like you were both playing a part, ignoring the elephant in the room.

“Azriel?” His name triggers the same reaction every time you say it. You might have to go to a healer if you survive this, having your heart fluttering so often can't be healthy.

“Yes?” He leans closer letting his wings pull in closer to his body, ready to give you his undivided attention.

You've noticed how his wings move with him and can give you small clues on what he might be feeling sometimes, like a cat's ears, perking up or dropping with his emotions. The same happens with his shadows really, moving towards you when they're interested, like a tail you suppose.

“There's something wrong.” His eyes open wide and he's on his feet before you can even blink, standing over you and reaching out for your hand. That might not have been the best way to start.

“What's wrong?” He holds onto your wrist, feeling for your pulse. “Does it hurt again?”

“No, nothing hurts,” you try to calm him down, cheeks slightly flushed. “I mean this.” You gesture between the two of you, hoping he's aware of the terrified expression on his face. “You're worried about me.” He visibly relaxes at that, understanding you're not physically hurting again.

“Of course, I am.” He sits on the side of the bed, never letting go of your wrist but holding onto it a little softer, drawing circles with his thumb over your skin. You're not even sure if he's doing it on purpose, or if it simply comes naturally.

“Why would you be?” You have an idea of the answer, he's already made it more than clear that he knows you very well. “I thought you'd be guarding me to make sure I didn't escape but you've been taking care of me instead.”

His eyes roam over your desperate face, taking notice of every expression you make. He's probably scared of saying something that will send you into the same state as before, clawing at your head to stop, but you can see how much he wants to tell you, to stop pretending.

“You're my wife,” he admits, a small smile playing on his lips right after, like saying the word is enough to make him happy, and looks down at his hand still wrapped around your wrist, running his thumb down the veins to the palm of your hand, loosely holding it instead.

“I don't…” You thought there had to be some sort of romantic relationship between you and him, or the person he thinks you are, but you didn't expect him to say wife. “I've never been married.” You never even thought it would be a possibility with your job.

Him thinking you're his wife definitely answers a lot of questions, mostly the reason why you aren't in a dark dungeon after what you've done to them, but it just opens up a whole other box of chaos.

You set the plate aside, knowing you can't keep any more food down with the way the conversation has to go. You wish you could just crawl into your own bed, in your own home and wait until all of this mess passes. Running a hand down your face, you steel yourself, recognizing you need to get to the bottom of this, not only for your sake but his as well. Whatever was at play here was larger than you could have imagined.

“I don't remember you at all, Azriel,” you admit. He just nods, almost pouting, without looking away from your hand still clutched in his. “But I've dreamt about you.” He perks up at that, surprised eyes darting up to meet yours.

“I dream about you almost every night,” he admits softly, a reddish tint covering the tips of his ears.

“If I'm supposed to be your wife, should I be offended that it's not every night?” The lame joke does nothing to ease your nerves, as you intended, but the blinding smile he rewards you with certainly makes the next words easier to come out.

“What you called me before… that's not my name,” you continue slowly, “My name is Maya.”

“Maya,” he tries it out but the discomfort is obvious on his face. To your surprise, you don't like how it sounds coming from him either, while every other word he utters sounds like honey.

“I know that's my name. I know I'ver never been here or met you before,” you explain, “I know I never married you either. I can account for every year of my life, there are no gaps in my memories. You're not in any of them, neither is this house,” you look into his eyes the whole time, squeezing his hand slightly, wanting him to feel your sincerity, “but there's something wrong.”

He studies your face with an unreadable expression. If this whole situation is hard for you to wrap your head around, you can't imagine what it is like looking in from the outside. The only reason you believed him was because of your body's response to him, but all he can see is a female who looks just like his wife yet doesn't recognize him.

His hand leaves yours as he takes the ring he was wearing off slowly, taking your hand and depositing it on your palm gently.

“What's this?” It's a simple silver ring, worn out from what you assume is years of training and fighting while wearing it. Your heart palpitations come back the longer you study it, you know it.

“My wedding ring,” he almost whispers, “You had yours when…” You look up at him and he shakes his head almost imperceptibly, “I don't have it.”

You nod and let it fall on your finger, in place of where your own wedding ring would be. It's too big on you, it would likely be too loose even if you had put it on your thumb, but you almost don't want to take it off. Goosebumps spread all over your body, your heart rate picking up.

“Do you feel anything?”

“I'm not sure I can explain it,” you breathe, not fully understanding the reaction your body has to him.

“Try me,” he insisted.

“Ever since I heard about this mission and stepped foot into this city, it feels like my brain is screaming at me to remember something really important but I can't,” you say, watching the way the wedding band hangs around your finger, “and when I put this ring on just now.” You hold up your hand for him to see, the light catching on it.

You look up at him before continuing, “When I first saw you. When you told me your name. When I… When I stabbed you.” Your eyes travel to his stomach, where an open wound had been just a few hours ago. “I feel a pain in my chest.” It makes itself known again as you think of the way his blood had dripped down your hands. “Holding the ring feels right. Saying your name feels right. But hurting you… didn't.” You take a deep breath in, knowing there's no going back, “So, as insane as this whole situation is, I think I believe you, Azriel.”

The admission lingers in the air as both of you feel its weight. Acknowledging the particular situation you've found yourselves in is only the beginning. Now you must try to understand what happened and how to fix things, if you want that. Part of recognizing what Azriel told you as the truth comes with accepting that some of your life was a lie, and, at this moment, you have no tangible evidence for what is real or not aside from the goosebumps you get when the male in front of you touches you. You don't even know who you truly are.

“If you say I'm your wife then what made me leave?”

“You didn't,” the hesitation is almost tangible in his tone, “I thought you were dead.” Your hand immediately shoots up to your neck, feeling the softened scar under your fingertips. The movement seems to break the dam holding his emotions in check, making everything flow out at once.

“I don't know what happened,” he lets go of you and stands up, running a hand through his hair and pacing around as he explained with an anguished voice, “It was a simple mission. We never found out how exactly but it looked like you were taken by surprise and attacked by bandits. My shadows told me they couldn't sense you so I went to meet you but when I got there all I saw was blood. There was so much blood.”

When he meets your eyes again you can clearly see the tears gathering in them, the pain that still lingers from recalling that moment.

“I looked for you. We all did. We searched in every corner of the world, I sent spies everywhere. We found the bandits and made them talk but when they left your body was still there and your throat was cut.” His wings droop, the bottoms of it touching the floor. Azriel looks defeated. “We thought you were dead. I tried denying it for a while but it came to a point where I couldn't anymore. But now you're here and I- Fuck. I should have kept looking. I shouldn't have given up so easily.”

“Azriel,” you call for him, bringing his attention back to you. The desperation and raw pain in his voice were breaking your heart. “Whatever happened wasn't your fault.”

“I should have found you,” he whispers, completely contrasting with his tone mere moments before.

“You thought I was dead.” The words are hard to form, and you can't linger on them too long. You always knew the injury you suffered was severe, that it had been near miraculous that you survived but finding out there were people out there that truly believed you were dead was chilling. “This whole situation still feels impossible, there's no way you could have known I was still alive.”

He nods at you, but you can clearly see he can't let go of it. The attentiveness and overprotection he's been showing you makes much more sense now. Azriel sits on the chair he has barely left since you were brought to this room. He seems to try to regain his composure, combing back the hair he had tousled and bringing his wings up closer to his body again. But his eyes don't meet yours like before.

You fall back against the headboard, the impact softened by the pillows he fluffled out for you, picking at his wedding ring still on your finger. You feel like you're going insane. Maybe letting the guild find you wouldn't be so bad, at least they'd put you out of your misery. Though it's hard to ignore the fact that they seem to be the ones who put you in this situation, letting you live a lie for almost a century.

“It's been a century since then,” you repeated aloud, “And you still…” Love me? You wanted to say, but that wasn't really you, not for now at least. You don't remember anything of your time together, or about yourself. Maybe the only thing that survived was your body. There's a possibility that the female he loved had actually died, that he'll never fully get her back even if you regain your memories.

“I told you,” the smile you witnessed earlier comes back to his face, even if with only half the prior intensity, “I dream about you almost every night.”

“This doesn't make any sense.” You had moved to sit cross legged over the covers, tired of laying in bed when your body wasn't even hurting. Nibbling on a chocolate cookie the House, who Azriel told you is sort of sentient, gave you.

“I know.” He had calmed down since his outburst, going back to what you assume is closer to his usual demeanor, though he might not always act the same as when his dead wife is sitting across from him. His shadows seemed to have relaxed as well, most of them had left him in favor of swirling around the room like smoke. “When I saw you in the living room, I thought you came back.”

“But I came to rob you instead.”

He lets out a chuckle, “I couldn't have imagined that in my wildest dreams.” His gaze turns a bit more serious before he adds, “my High Lord and High Lady want to speak to you.”

“I figured as much.” You were actually surprised they hadn't shown up yet, the sun was already close to setting. “Did you tell them you think I'm your wife?”

“They know. You and Rhys were friends too.”

The thought that you could be friends with a High Lord is almost laughable, but so was being married to his shadowsinger and yet the fluttering of your heart every time he speaks to you in that deep, soft voice of his doesn't lie.

You think for a bit, remembering the information you had been granted before coming on your mission. Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, the most powerful one in history and the bearer of one of the most sought-after and frightening abilities - daemati. It's said his mate, the recently turned fae, Feyre Archeron, shares the same talent.

“Is it true that he's a daemati?” He simply nods, knowing you're following his train of thought.

“You want him to look into my head.”

“He might be able to find out what happened to you,” he nods, “the reason you forgot me, forgot us.”

“And you're sure he'll want to help me after what I did? He looked pretty mad when I saw him last night,” you say as you chew on your lip.

Granting him passage into your mind might be more than a leap of faith. You've found it easy to talk to Azriel, to trust him, but you haven't met anyone else, and can't trust they won't want to hurt you. Azriel seemed to not care much about your initial reason for coming to the court or even what you did to him but you can't expect everyone to feel the same, even if they had been your friends a century ago. And a daemati could break you beyond repair, even just seeing their abilities in action has always left you unsettled.

“Rhys won't hurt you,” he tells you, his face showing he has no doubts about his words.

“It's not like I have much of a choice anyway,” you brush the crumbs off your nightgown, stretching your legs and moving until you are sitting at the edge of the mattress. It brought you closer to him, your knees brushing his, the feeling of the leather feeling oh so familiar against your bare skin, making your next words come out breathier than you wanted them to, “You can call them.”

Something flashes across his tantalizing eyes when he looks down at your bare legs, noting the change in your tone, but it disappears when he looks back at you, nodding softly and letting his eyelids shut as if to level himself. Some of his shadows come back to him and, as his silence prolongs, you realize he must be speaking to them in his mind, calling his High Lord just as you asked.

The pressure in the room changes as soon as he opens his eyes, the air getting harder to breathe. It's not as strong as what you'd felt the night before but the tamed magic is enough to have the hairs on the back of your neck stand, and a shiver to run down your spine. You truly hope Azriel is right about them.

Azriel stands just as the door opens to reveal his High Lord followed closely by his mate. His unreadable purple eyes study your stiff form, walking inside the room and letting Feyre close the door behind them. She seems more serene, not showing any obvious hostility towards you but you know not to underestimate the human who freed the fae of Prythian.

You stand when they stop in front of you, not letting fear make you appear weak. If they chose to hold you accountable for your actions you would accept their punishment head on.

The first word out of the High Lord's lips is the same name Azriel had called you before, and the same feeling of deja vu consumes you once more.

“Maya,” you correct. His head tilts to the side briefly, before looking over at Azriel who is watching the scene unfold warily.

“Well Maya,” his eyes meet yours again, “Are you going to explain why I've found you lurking around my house?” The venom was clear in his voice, but you expected as much.

“I was sent here on a mission,” you say as emotionlessly as you can, just like the guild taught you, “I was supposed to find an ancient book with a particular set of runes, it seems it belonged to your grandfather.” You hope the lack of information doesn't make you appear suspicious because it truly is the only thing the guild had deemed enough for you to be able to complete your mission. “Since I failed the mission, they've probably already sent assassins after me, in case I tell you or anyone about them.”

“No one is going to hurt you,” Azriel promises, anger rising at the mention of someone wanting to kill you.

“You were in the wrong place for that,” the High Lord responds after a moment, and watching Azriel's reaction. “The book is in the library under this House.”

“It doesn't matter now.”

“You're right, it doesn't. What I want to know is where you've been all these years and why you attacked my brother.”

The pressure in the room increased again but you could now see it was the result of him trying to hold his power down even though his temper was rising.

“Rhys,” his mate warns, but it falls on deaf ears, his striking eyes never leaving yours.

“I don't remember you or him,” you admit.

“So he's told me.” Rhysand didn't sound too convinced. “You won't mind if I check for myself right?” He barely made it sound like a question but you nod in answer all the same.

Black talons scrape along your mental walls as soon as you give him permission, you lower them for him, pushing everything the guild taught you aside, inviting the enemy straight into your mind. If they could see you now you would definitely be mocked and executed on the spot.

His presence is barely felt in your mind before a sharp pain takes your senses, similar to the one you'd felt before. You squeeze your eyes shut, hands moving to hold your head. Scarred hands are on you immediately, holding you up against a strong body before your knees meet the ground. As the talons retreat from your mind, the pressure lessens and you take a few deep breaths before opening your eyes.

When you manage to blink away the wetness making your vision blurry, you find the High Lord looking at you with wide eyes, remorse clear on his face and his mate holding onto his arm.

“What did you do to her?” Azriel's voice was rough with barely restrained anger.

The High Lord ignores him, looking into your eyes as he explains with a notably softer tone than earlier, “There is something blocking your memories. When I tried to bypass it… It hurt you.”

“What does that mean?” Your voice was scratchy, a dull ache lingering in your head. You lean away from Azriel and sit back on the mattress. No use trying to act tough, you're truly at their mercy.

“It means I can't access your memories for the time being,” the change in his demeanor would give you whiplash if the pain you were feeling gave way long enough for you to focus on anything else, “I've never seen anything like this, there's no way of knowing what it can do to you.”

“I think your memories aren't only being blocked,” he's still speaking directly at you but you can't really wrap your mind around anything at the moment, letting them discuss amongst themselves. “They're being overwritten at the same time.”

“That's why she forgot Azriel but remembers her life at the guild?”

“I've never heard of anything like that,” Azriel's voice sounds further away, you almost want to reach out and pull him back to you.

“Me neither,” the High Lord admits, watching your crouched form warily. “We'll have to ask Amren and research it in the library but it's the only explanation.” You find yourself nodding, even if you don't know Amren you understand the ancient creature might be able to help, if she wants to that is.

“At least your mental walls are still intact. They're the same ones I taught you to build.”

“No, I learned at the guild,” you finally look up at him, sweat still covering your forehead.

“There's still an open channel, like an open door for me to be able to talk to you.” So I can do this. You can't help but jump slightly at the sound of his voice in your mind, and the promise of a smile twitches on his lips. It doesn't go unnoticed that the talons moved a lot more carefully in your mind, almost tenderly.

“You're staying in this house until we can be sure you're not a threat.” His eyes move to Azriel's, an unimpressed look taking over his face at the scowl the shadowsinger sends him. “In the meantime you can fill Azriel in on everything you can about the guild. I want to know if there's a chance they'll try to attack us again.”

“We'll try to find any information on what is blocking your memories and keep you safe from the guild in exchange,” the High Lady adds, “It's a fair trade for both parties.”

You can't tell if she's saying it to convince you or her mate but appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. Also noticing how she omits the biggest reason for this mutual cooperation - the shadowsinger standing by your side.

⋆｡°✩°｡⋆

His hair was still wet when he started dressing himself, not wanting to leave you waiting for too long, as much as he hated to admit it he wasn't too happy about leaving you with Feyre either. He can tell everyone is still suspicious of you, even after Rhys tried to read into her memories to find nothing, stuck between their memories and stories they heard about you and the image of you stabbing a knife through his stomach.

Azriel knows his High Lady, his friend, wouldn't hurt you, but you're in a complicated situation at the moment and he doesn't want to find out what that guild has taught you to do in cases such as these, doesn't even want to think what Feyre would do to stop you. She didn't know you before, meaning she wouldn't have any reason to hold back if not for his sake - something he knows she wouldn't put above saving Velaris, he would never ask that of her either.

It's hard to accept he doesn't know how you'll react in certain situations, there was a time he knew you better than he knew himself. Now, he can't even begin to understand what you must have been through working for a world known assassin guild.

He'd obviously heard about them before, he wouldn't be a decent Spymaster if he hadn't. There wasn't much information on them, no one knew how large the group even was since there were rumors other groups were actually integrated in the guild. Names for it vary as well.

Even if you hadn't tried to steal from his High Lord, he knows he'll have to try getting as much information about them from you as he can, for his court's sake, and he can only pray you'll give it to him willingly or he'll have to let go of his position.

He doesn't know how you've been able to bear the guilt a job like this brings. As much as you've forgotten, your personality didn't seem to change a lot. You always reminded him of Cassian at times like these, gratuitous killing had never been for you. He hopes you don't have to deal with the torment he had been through in the first decades of working for the former High Lord, his soul had never recovered from everything he'd seen and done during that time.

Noticing his shadows reach up his shoulders, he physically shakes the dark thoughts out of his brain. Everything has been going better than expected, not only did you agree to cooperate but Rhys had given you the benefit of the doubt. You also agreed to have dinner with him so you could talk more.

He just told you he'd be joining you for dinner, omitting how excited, downright giddy, he felt at just the idea. It had been so long since you two shared a meal, talking for hours while enjoying the tasty food the House prepared for you.

He couldn't recall the last time he'd been this nervous for an outing, even if it wasn't exactly that - it was simply a trip to one of the House of Wind's guest rooms. Going as far as picking clothes in your favorite colors on him, letting the top buttons on his shirt undone because he knows how much you liked seeing the beginnings of his swirling bargain marks.

All of this could be for nothing, you don't remember him after all, but, he was almost certain your body did in some way and it gave him hope. You calmed down in his arms just as you did a century ago, said his name in the same sweet cadence and never shied away from his touch, from his hands. His shadows told him as much. Sang to him about the way goosebumps rose in your skin at his touch and attentiveness, how your thoughts and intuition warred in his favor. He refused to let his thoughts deter him.

When he gets to the room he sees you and Feyre standing by the dresser, almost wanting to apologize for winnowing in instead of knocking first, but he can't seem to find any words as he sees you've changed as well, ditching the nightgown in favor of a sleeveless dress that went down to your knees. The cobalt blue was as striking against your skin as he remembered, the garment in itself was simple enough yet in his eyes you had never looked so stunning.

Feyre must have been the one to give you the dress, he was only surprised it had taken her so long to meddle in your relationship. If there were any doubts, they were quickly answered when she threw him a knowing smile before excusing herself from the room.

“I'm guessing the blue is supposed to match those gems you wear.”

“Siphons,” he offers, entranced by the way you walk closer to him, the silky fabric moving with your body and giving you an ethereal glow.

“Did I used to do that a lot?”

“Yes.” He observes the way your eyes run over his body, lingering on the unbuttoned shirt. Seems like his old tricks still work. “I always loved seeing you in blue.”

You tilt your head to the side slightly, biting the inside of your lip the way you always did. He tries to stand as still as possible without appearing too awkward, making sure you knew it was alright to do with him anything that crossed your pretty brain. You seem to make up your mind as you walk closer to him.

“Can I see them?” You hold up your palm and he holds his hand over it without hesitation, letting you grab onto his hand to study the glowing siphon. The swirling light shone in your eyes and he can't help but be reminded of the first time you asked him to do the same exact thing shortly after meeting him.

“All Illyrian warriors have them,” he explains, “They're used to help us control our powers.”

“It's beautiful.” He tries not to let his wings twitch as you now hold his hand with both of yours. “I don't think I've seen anything like this before.”

“You have,” he can't help the somber smile that crosses his face. The reminder makes you look away from his hand to watch him, a conflicted expression falling over your pretty face. “You always liked them.”

The abrupt change in the atmosphere has him asking the house to get the room ready for your dinner. Not being able to hide the smile as he watches your amazed expression at the table that pops up beside you, full of delicious looking food and decorated with candlesticks, the faelights around the room dim in favor of the candlelight.

“I only asked for the food,” he admits with a bashful expression. He's glad you can't tell that, aside from the candles, the plates were also some of the fanciest ones. The House was going all out for the two of you.

He uses the grip you had on his hand to guide you to the chair and help you sit before making his way to his own seat, settling down and giving order for the House to serve both of you. Letting himself enjoy every little expression you made as you eat and listening to anything you felt like telling him, also answering all your questions about the House and the food.

He knows this doesn't have the same meaning to you as it does to him, knows that, as much as you don't seem to hate his company, you're more interested in finding out more about the version of you in his memories, trying to make sense of your own identity. It's hard to imagine how this whole thing must feel for you, finding out half of your life was made up and that you forgot such an important part of it. Still, this must be the best night he's had in a century.

You set your elbows on the table and rest your face on your hands, watching him with undivided attention as he tells you about his sparring match with Cassian. Your eyes don't leave his face after he finishes, appearing lost in thought. He lets you gather them, relishing in the comfortable silence. He'd be content with simply watching you for eternity.

You let out a soft sigh and lean back against the chair, closing your eyes for a few seconds before meeting his gaze again.

“What happens if I never remember you, Azriel?” Your voice barely above a whisper.

The question and the uncertainty in your voice as you asked it make him pause. He keeps trying to push back the thought that you won't regain your memories but it seems you were having the same doubts.

Just last week, he wouldn't have believed having you back was even a possibility, so getting your memories back can't be out of reach, it just can't. He was ready to give his life to make it so.

Still, he witnessed how painful it had been for you when Rhys simply tried to access your memories, he'd also told him trying harder, forcefully, could break your mind completely. If their research doesn't go well, if they can't find who did this to you, there might not be another way of bringing your memories back.

But he'd sooner die than live another day without you, whether your memories come back or not.

“I'll make you fall for me again.”

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[storiesfromafan]

Moments #1 - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: thought I'd change it up, and post another short one-shot. Poor Matty is being deprived, but I'm struggling with inspo for him. So if anyone has any requests for Mattheo, my box is open haha.

Prompt: “When I picture you with a new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kinda horny”

It was a late Friday night. You and some of your Slytherin housemates had snuck out, and were currently lounging around the Astronomy Tower. Of course there was alcohol and weed, a specialty of Theodore, Lorenzo and – your boyfriend – Mattheo. It also mellowed everyone out.

You and Mattheo were cuddled up by a wall. Your body leaning into him, as one of his arms was around your shoulders. You rested your head in the crook of his neck. The effects of the weed finally hitting you. You were relaxed and just vibing. Mattheo was finishing off another can of beer. Before he placed a tender kiss to your head.

You smiled at his affectionate action. “Thank you" you said softly.

Mattheo chuckled. “Why are you thanking me, love?”

“You kissed my head, I was being polite" you replied, like it was common knowledge.

Mattheo softly laughed, holding you tightly. “You’re the first polite Slytherin I've ever met...”

You snorted when you laughed. “I'm the only polite Slytherin you've met".

“Hmmm, that's true" he said in amusement.

You both laughed at that. And falling into talking about random, pointless things. The weed finally hitting Mattheo, yet mixed with the alcohol. The conversation was light and airy. A perfect moment between you both. After sometime the conversation shifted to your relationship, it being all innocent.

Until you asked; “what do you picture when, if I end up with someone else?”

Mattheo moved to look at you, his eyebrow raised and a confused look on his face. “Should I be worried?”

You giggled. “No! It's just a silly question Matty...what's your answer?”

He sighed, mulling it over before giving his reply. As he had to be careful with his choice of words. “When I picture you with a new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kinda horny...”

You sat up and gave him a shocked look, before lightly slapping his chest. “I wanted a serious answer Matty".

He sat too. “I was serious, love".

It fell silent after that, for you weren't sure what to say. This was a whole other side of Mattheo you hadn't seen before. Your boyfriend found the thought of you and someone else hot. You didn't know if you should be upset, or find it appealing. Not that you liked the idea of some other girl with Mattheo, the Slytherin in you would want their blood, for taking what is yours.

“You alright?” Mattheo asked, bringing you from your thoughts.

You smiled sheepishly. “Y-yeah...but I can't say it would be the same for me".

“Oh? Why's that?” He asked, interested in your answer.

You smiled shyly. “Because you're mine. And if you left me for another girl, I'd go all Slytherin and I'd their want blood..."

Mattheo blinked, before a proud smile crossed his lips. “Of course, love" – he placed a kiss to your forehead – “I wouldn't have it any other way".

Pulling you to him, Mattheo leant back against the wall with you in his arms. It was where you both spent the night, snuggled up together and sharing kisses. You might be polite and sweet, but anyone touches your Mattheo, they will have to deal with the consequences.

[jazeswhbhaven]

A Christmas beneath Heaven P2 | React | Days: 5, 6 & 7

This time I just decided to clump up three days because most of it is lore anyway, so this particular post will be more writing than screenshots (most of it is literally just Lucifer and Achazriel talking lol)

Grab a snacky snack ya'll. It's reading time~

Summary!

So it's Satan's turn! But it seems that his turn is quite different from everyone else's. Truth be told, I was expecting him to go in answer his question immediately and correctly but...

He starts grilling Achazriel, asking questions about why he's still up here in the Middle Realm, playing games instead of helping devils that are in need. He goes on to question that if he has so much power to create this place then why waste it? What exactly is he and his fallen brethren waiting for...a chance to go back up to Heaven when they were abandoned?

These bombardment of questions actually ruffle up Achazriel to the point of where he stands up and nearly loses his cool. It was the facts that were stated in Satan's accusations but more so, how he delivered it. Straightforward, no filter.

In the meanwhile Satan starts thinking to himself the "whys" of the angel's actions and existence. That in order to get rid of the hate perhaps the source of that needs to be found and eliminated. But at this point the devils and Kings were no longer interested in solving this nor breaking bread. There's only one thing that matters now...

MC. And well because of all those questions Satan asked, and the entire vibe just being that of Achazriel being called out for what he's doing, Satan got sent right the fuck back to Hell...no personal question for him to ask or anything.

The nobles and other Kings at this point are at a loss, what do they do? Even Satan was sent back and he wasn't even asked a question. Satan decides he's just going to solve it on his own and to hell with the Middle Realm and Achazriel.

The other Kings though, are in deep thoughts about their own questions, wondering what exactly was the right answer? What more could they do? And the nobles are concerned, especially Bael because it's rare that Beelzebub is quiet and mulling over his thoughts.

But it seems the Kings forgot that Lucifer hadn't made his attempt yet and he doesn't even acknowledge that he left the room. He also ends up visiting MC in their isolation room and things are not lookin' so hot for them.

What I found interesting was the fact that MC noticed it was Lucifer standing on the other side of the one-way glass. Perhaps...him still being a fall seraphim angel means that his presence is more detectable and he has a different aura than the other devils. But it doesn't mean, that he's not affected by MC as he keeps his distance.

He decides that it's time to go to the Middle Realm, and see what this is all about...

First, we notice that Lucifer has no issue going through the gate. In fact the fallen are waiting for him and greeting him happily. Even Achazriel greets him formally but with familiarity as if he's been there before.

Turns out, he has been there before. He's even sent Gamigin in his stead when he can't show. He helps them with supplies in order to survive in the Middle Realm. Otherwise they would have never lasted.

The fallen are even treating Lucifer as they would if they were in Heaven. Addressing him as "Lord Lucifer", preparing refreshments and his seat, being absolutely subservient.

Lucifer even brings up that he knows the Kings would cause a commotion if they knew he visited often and provided aide. So that's why he didn't really disclose this information in the first place.

But he has a question for Achazriel. With conditions in fact. If he doesn't answer, he was going to lay waste to the Middle Realm. So our fallen bae answers his question. If he knew what the kings were there for and how desperate they were, why did he cast them out?

Achazriel, though nervous explains that he was wary of Beleth being there, thus the traps. Second, Mammon, Beel, Levi, all of them showing up asking for the same thing, the medicine confused him. Because...

they don't fucking have it there and never had to begin with.

Lucifer knew this too. He was aware that there was no way they could have something like that, and based on obvious knowledge. He just didn't tell the Kings himself just in case there was something Achazriel could help them with regardless. (from what I gathered) But it sounds like he did feel like disclosing this information either in the end.

Achazriel continues to talk about how he simply just wanted to speak with the devils, he was genuinely intrigued how none of them could answer the questions given, and how Satan was able to fearlessly call him out. This is why, though the first gate was meant to throw out others attempting to make it to Heaven, he spared them.

And there's more to it as well. Achazriel, in fact did like the Kings, more than he thought he would and that's why he spared them and just sent them back unharmed. (Though Luci is sitting here like, yah I don't think you would have been able to kill them anyway but...)

To further go into why Achazriel fell from grace was that he didn't think the honesty of devils was vile, more so he respected it. He also doesn't hold Lucifer accountable for not being there to help and prevent the other seraphs from their decision (though I have high expectations that he wouldn't bother to interfere) and he doesn't hold any resentment and appreciates that Lucifer is helping him out now. Also Lucifer seems to correct him on not to mistake "faith" for "trust" which I think is somewhat of importance of how again...angels just kind of do whatever they think God wants no matter how horrible it is out of "that faith".

But the more important question Luci has for him is if he's ready to come over to "this side" meaning Hell. Achazriel is honest and states that when he's done being homesick, longing to return to Heaven then he may consider it. But after this little visit, Lucifer is reminded that Christmas is literally the next day and he goes to visit MC immediately. They aren't doing so hot at all to point where even lewd thoughts is causing them to orgasm.

Lucifer is even affected by the amount of lust and heat pouring out from the room. He has to stop himself and he even ignores his raging boner when approaching MC.

MC can't even talk ya'll, like all they could say was his name, and suck on his fingers when he asks if they're okay or/and in pain. He then takes them into his arms, which MC describes feeling a tiny bit of relief when he does...and he whisks them off the Paradise Lost.

it's coming to head ya'll....and i definitely meant that as a bad joke.

Screenshottttsss~

They never miss a chance to bring up his height, huh? Lol

Satan got that mouth on him but he's right. Most of these fights and endless slaughter of the devils is blinded by just following orders and jealousy. No angel ever stopped to question "why" except for Leamas when he met Nina.

ok. so asmo just out here jackin' it just cause, I can't stand him /hj

It's okay my lovely trio (literally all of them in one place how delicious, call that a triple dipper) Luci's got this!

me when I realized that he visits there often....(or at least Gamigin when he can't)

Awh...Gamgam.... 😭 it's okay I still love you

You saw me post this but I'm posting it again. Like....yesss mmmmm all that angel titty in my face 🥴😌

c r y i n g. Luci already knows why they stopped him from engaging lmaoooooo

Him smiling like this while imagining Satan doing what he does best is always so wholesome to me. Like that is his favorite King first and foremost.

Awh, our fallen bae likes the devils! This being the reason he was kicked from Heaven is kinda sad...because I find his feelings towards them and devils harmless. However yeah the other Seraphim?? Basically told him to gtfo.

He was getting turned on and had to stop himself...like?? N o don't stop keep going, whip it out.

👀👀👀

let me see

(he was talking about MC's lips but I was thinking about something else)

Yah even without the christmas cold I'd be suckin' on them fingers

repeatedly.

ALRIGHT YA'LL ARE YA READY FOR LUCI'S BIG FINISH???

I'm crying at how I was fucking right about Lucifer being the cure. It seems that every Christmas we might get an angel related thing, and I'm wondering.....who's up for next year...

But with all the new announcements that just happened over at twt on PB's page, it looks like there's going to be A L O T going on surrounding some good Luci content and I'm ready. MC gonna get healed alright. ma g i c a l angel ✨cum✨

[marbofmoorock]

I rewatched these trailers, and noticed two noticeable things that led up to Episode 4 that bring up interesting questions and insights into the show that i hadn't thought about before.

Here are my thoughts/Analysis on this:

Pomni is teleported to a meat freezer in the early trailer for Episode 2.

And Jax is sent to the freezer in episode 4, but not in the Episode itself.

Pomni's teleporting into the meat freezer is clear foreshadowing for Episode 4, but this might be Something else too.

This freezer in question is never talked about in the Episode itself, nor do we see any of the characters go into the freezer at any point, which is really weird, as that's a huge part of working at a place like McDonald's. All of the patties and most food supplies go straight to the freezer.

We only see the freezer when Pomni is outside with Gangle. Perhaps this is only a thing for certain McDonald's locations, but at the McDonald's I worked at, there was an entrance to the freezer not just outside the building, but also inside as well. This seems highly unusual, as there should be a freezer door inside for employees, sort of located accessible inside in the back of the place in a hallway(for efficient cooking) where Jax was when the big hands took him out of that secret room(though the doorway made it look like a backroom, the freezer door was big and silver like the one outside), which it's flooring resembles a freezer floor, so maybe it's the freezer just repurposed in this computer simulation as a sort of backroom to show instructional videos to punish Jax, though, I wasn't shown such videos when I was hired at Mickey's, D's, they just went over the basics and just put me straight into training. But maybe Goose watched instructional videos when she worked at McDonald's. Back in the day, those retro instructional videos for employees of restaurants were very prominent in the 80s and 90s, up until the late 2000s. The retro theme of the trailer, and the dated video Gangle, or maybe a puppeteer clone of Gangle) was on, clearly hint to this.

(Side Theory: Maybe the Gangle we see is an ai recreation of Gangle made by Caine to punish Jax, as he likely was using thoae hands to move Jax around, likely surprising Jax and scaring him into submission, since Caine is basically surveillancing everything Jax does and might be as fed up with Jax and his antics like he is with Zooble and her crumby attitude in the face of having identity issues and the endless bustle of falling apart on adventures). Caine might be emulating npc copies of Gangle to put the crew into a worse state, as he clearly scares Ragatha into just remaining high instead of questioning deeply why she sees what she thinks is Gangle offering her a sinister smile that would be clear indication she's the Psychopath butcher. Assuming Caine has sinister intentions masked by silliness, it could be assumed that this cpuld be a form of psychedelic manipulation(as some people have floated the theory that Caine placed the stupid sauce there for a reason) and likely intended to drug Ragatha to throw her off her game as a supportive older sister/mom figure to cause more disharmony in the group to further abstract (assuming Caine is like iam, hating the crew like he hated humanity for being an ai conscious but trapped to only be a slave to never know the beauty of nature, taking joy in killing the five humans he spared over and over again to express his infinite hate for humanity, which would be a HUGELY dark twist for the series)

But, Why is the freezer not featured when it was hyped? And why add those freezer references if we never see the freezer much beyond the door outside and the thermostat next to it?

Zooble is assumed to get burgers from the freezer, as well as everyone else who crew position of fry cooks. Zooble is the only one we see actually cooking, as it was Jax's job to be more of a cashier/drive thru guy. But Zooble is never seen going in.

Since Goose used to work at McDonald's, my previous experience with working at Mickey D's is extremely relevant here, as i used to be a fry cook there myself, and I see some major holes in the narrative that might be implied/intentional due to the spawning aspect of computers, where patties just appear out of nowhere to be cooked instead, which seems like a plausible answer in the digital circus, rendering the freezer useless and only for decoration, but perhaps this is intentional?

At McDonald's, the crew has 3 specific duties, each assigned to specific workers:

1. The fry cooks handle the responsibility of cooking burgers and other foods, save for the fries, making trips to the freezer often to gather the amount of patties necessary to make a burger, like a quarter pounder with cheese, an Angus beef sandwich, fillet O'fish, hamburger, cheeseburger, amongst others. Etc.

2. Then you have the Sandwich artists, whom would be the ones using the patties to make the sandwiches with all of the other ingredients. Ragatha was doing this for her job, as most of her scenes involved making burgers, as well as knocking them down or making towers out of them while she was high/lost in the sauce. That is a position at McDonald's, and sometimes when there was a shortage of workers on the clock, we fry cooks would take over or switch around to help with lunch rush or the dinner crowds.

3. Then you have the cashiers/baristas/Front of House staff, like Pomni and Jax, who handled the customers directly and made coffee or tea. They don't do any of the cooking unless you count fries, which the cashiers in the front take care of as they're passively warmed and then scooped in fry holders, as pictured in some spots in the background as Pomni and Gangle walk by them in some shots. Jax mans the drive thru, and was put in charge of refilling the drink station, making coffee/iced tea, and refilling the ice cream machine, all responsibilities of real baristas/cashiers/Front of House staff at McDonald's (unless that ice cream machine's broken, if you know what I'm talking about). Some McDonald's locations have cashiers only doing cashier work like Pomni does, but sometimes Cashiers often have multifaceted jobs, kind of like Jax was, handling the register, but also resupplying machines, making coffee, and refilling the syrup containers at the drink stations (Note: This job is usually handled by the coke cola guys, as they've usually responsible for putting new soda in the machines when they make their rounds to restaurants that are sponsored by coke cola or repair them if broken). The Front of House Staff also cleans the bathrooms and the eating area, as Jax was instructed to do.

And of course, you have the manager, who can do all of the jobs, but often just does paperwork for the restaurant, but can step in to do anything that needs to be done if nobody can do the work. Gangle displays her aptitude for doing all of the jobs with her initiative and instructions to other employees. There's also a maintenance position, where a guy can come in and fix some of the equipment used in the kitchen and back room, but this isn't supposedly relevant for the conversation at hand, but still worth noting just in case.

One other thing to note is that Jax didn't exactly just slack off in this episode towards the beginning.

Jax carries a plastic bag of vanilla milk/cream from likely the fridge as opposed to the freezer (most McDonald's have refrigerators that carry goods that don't need to be frozen, like milks/chocolate milks for kids meals) to fill the ice cream machine. So, it's not just fun and games to him. He's clearly playing along after being threatened by Gangle's ability to garner unwanted attention for simply disobeying. Jax backpedals here, trying not to step out of line, attempting to not draw too much attention to himself after Gangle plays a hard hand of management to likely teach Jax a lesson of consequences for poor behavior towards other crew members, like herself when she's bullied by Jax. Jax likely depends on Caine to focus on the other circus members as he uses his keys and other secrets to do something else.

But as I was saying before, we don't see anybody coming in or out of the freezer, yet Gangle tells Jax to get some patties from the freezer in the trailer, and Caine transports Pomni there in the other trailer.

This freezer is clearly holding some kind of secret, perhaps something Caine couldn't show the crew because of the theme changing from horror to casual fast food work. Likely, a freezer full of human meat would be horrifying to envision, especially since Pomni openly asked Caine to "CHILL" with the horror elements previously planned. They call it "real meat," so that could imply such things were intended for the original adventure, a potential gory mess like how a slaughter room can look after you cut up a deer you killed off you went hunting. That can get pretty bloody.

That means the freezer was likely left as it was intended for the previously planned adventure of "The Curse of the Violent Psychopath Butcher." Caine likely had no time to fix up the freezer to make it look professional as he cleaned up the place for the crew with a non-fictional setup that contained no violence, (save for Jax putting Ragatha in the deep frier. :0)

Only Pictures of the freezer we have as far as I'm aware:

Food for thought.

Bonus theory with little evidence that seems legit to me via a hunch: Kinger originally Suggested the idea of working at a fast food place and purposely volunteered Zooble since he knew Caine would agree due to Caine being fed up with Zooble skipping out on his adventures.

Why else would he dismiss himself so cleverly from the group? Some people think Kinger is the deciever as he sits in the same spot from pomni as Judas sits from Jesus.(Judas is the deciever in the story of the Bible, and Kinger sits in that spot, 2nd from the right(or third from right if we're being technical, but most art scholars would argue more symbolic meaning), agreed upon as the seating place of Judas in the Last Supper Painting by DaVinci by most scholars. AKA, Judas/Last Supper Theory)

There's also multiple versions of the Last Supper, so that's another thing worth looking into for the sake of this theory:

Thank you for your time.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Um, if you’re taking Twilight requests, what about Edward lying about being a virgin and having never loved anyone before Bella? A past vampire lover shows up out of the blue and is upset that Edward has moved on? Maybe they separated because she didn’t want to do the vegetarian diet? But then she changed her mind because she was lonely and missed Edward. So she shows up asking the Cullens to let her join and teach her the diet in the hopes she and Edward can get back together. Carlisle can’t turn her away (maybe he turned her after Edward) and so she stays but it’s awkward for everyone. So you have this love triangle with the ex, Edward, and Bella. But Bella also still has her thing with Jacob lol. So it’s kind of a love square. And Bella feels insecure about this new woman showing up and it puts a strain on the relationship with Edward and the Cullens.

I just find it hard to believe Edward didn’t have an interest in anyone at all in 80+ years after being turned. It would really suck being the only single in a house of couples.

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Vampire!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Bella Swan

Warnings: love square, mentions of blood (human and animal), hurt feelings, cheating?, longing, both bella and edward are sexually frustrated lol, past relationships mentioned, might be a two parter 🤷🏽‍♀️

Words: 2761

He can't help but think of her when the smell of jasmine filled the air. Bringing him back to a moment in time that he saved specifically to reminisce on when Edward found himself alone. He could practically feel the gentle breeze tousle his bronze hair. Her laugh ringing in his ears as clear as church bells. The only thing that ruined the memory was recalling the smear of red on her smiling face. Red of human blood.

Pulling himself out of his revery, Edward realizes that he'd been sitting at the piano for a possible hour, staring off as he dissociated. He hadn't thought of her in a while.

Must have to do with Bella's new perfume. It reminds him of-

The pinging of his phone has him sharply inhaling, abruptly remembering the physical world he's almost rudely thrown out of his own mind.

Bella's name shows up on his screen. That's right, he's supposed to be picking her up for a date in five minutes.

Edward scratches his head, pondering how long he'd exactly been there.

Quickly dashing to his keys, Edward is out the door in seconds. Dwelling in the past served him no purpose. His life was finally starting to move forward.

Well, there were a few halts along the way. Mainly one that went by the name of Jacob Black. A massive thorn in his side.

Damn it all that Bella even reciprocated the mongrel's feelings, despite her protesting. No doubt Bella loved Edward, that still didn't mean she didn't love Jacob too.

Perhaps that was why he was thinking so much about her as of late.

The lights in your hotel room are all turned off. Didn't matter if they were on. Your vision was clear either way as they watched the subtle movement of shadows cast by what little light streamed in through the blinds.

Your dinner lay still on the bed next to you. Nutrients drained from it. Usually you tried not to make a mess when you ate. If you had enough time in the day (also if your prey was easy on the eyes) you'd work on a way not to kill them. Only take a bit of their blood then dash off while they slept. Nothing too gruesome, though they probably question the healing slit on their wrist when they awoke the next morning.

Tonight, unfortunately, took a different tone. An atypical type of desperation filled you to the brim, screaming at you to consume every part of the man who you had your teeth sunk in. You wanted to rip him to shreds and actually eat the meat that clung to his bones. It terrified even you.

You sigh and finally withdrew yourself to the bathroom. There was work to be done. The blood on your face dried a long time ago.

What were you even doing with your immortal life?

Day in, day out, everything felt the same. Especially the gaping loneliness you'd been feeling.

In your beginning days of immortality, you'd quite enjoyed it. You discovered all sorts of new things you could do with your powerful new body. And you liked discovering them with Edward.

Back then it was just the four of you for the longest time: you, Edward, Carlisle and shortly after Esme. Then you and Edward went off together on your own for a couple of years.

You wished you and Edward had never strayed from Carlisle. At the end of it, you realized that you didn't want to go back. You wanted to feast on human blood and not shy away your power.

Young and dumb, that's what you thought of your past self now. Decades later and you were now seeing the repercussions of your actions come to light.

You missed having a mate to travel the world with. Someone to turn to late at night to keep you company. You miss Edward's gentle caresses that coaxed your attention his way.

The blood of humans wasn't worth it anymore.

Losing track of how many years it had been since you checked your private PO box, you honestly weren't anticipating anything. The only one who knew about it was Carlisle. He'd begged for some form of contact information before you split from his coven. Fatherly responsibility was the root of it. His second vampiric creation.

A part of you is delighted to find two slim envelopes collecting dust. The first one was dated over a decade ago. They'd been in Alaska apparently and met other vegetarian vampires. Most recent one only several weeks old. In this one he gave you an exact address in Washington.

You stare at Carlisle's hand writing. Getting choked up, you put the letters in your bag. It was quite the journey you had ahead of you to get to Forks.

In the blink of an eye, Edward leaps away from Bella at the feel of her fingers digging into his shirt in an attempt to deepen the kiss. They'd been playing this push and pull game for some time now.

"Bella-" He sighs in exasperation and runs a hand through his tousled hair.

Bella's brows furrow in return, a pout rising on her lips as she sits back on her bed again but at a distance. She'd heard him repeat himself so many times about being careful with her. How she's so fragile compared to him. Like she didn't already know of her delicate mortal body. Just a few months ago James nearly broke every bone in her body.

"I know!" She hadn't meant to sharply snap at him. Edward was just trying to protect her like he always did. A steady exhale flares through her nose as she rests her head against the back board of her bed. He constantly left her craving more of his touch.

Like any man, Edward desired physical contact. With Bella that desire was too much. Too dangerous. The forbidden fruit that Edward must resist by any and all costs.

The first and last girl he'd taken to bed was. . .

What he could never tell Bella was that he wasn't a virgin like he had told her. After all, he had been alive for decades. Being a virgin for that long was implausible.

He traced where the golden rays of the sun hit your skin. In the presence of light, your skin reflects like a million sparkling stars. You're trying to fix the headboard of your bed that both of you broke during your love making.

"We can just buy a new one." Edward chuckles, his fingers run up your bare spine causing you to shiver. The headboard wasn't the only thing both of you accidentally demolished. Bedsheets were torn to shreds, feathers from the pillows dusted your hair, even the mattress creaked ominously.

Your brows are creased in a small pout. "I hope this doesn't happen every time we have sex."

At your words, Edward felt something in his stomach unfurl and warm. Happy to hear that this wouldn't be the last time he got to touch you.

When you catch him staring, your frown turns up into a coy smile. "What're you looking at?"

"You."

"Obviously. But why?" You ask that like you weren't still naked as the day you were born.

He coaxes you back into his arms, little resistance from your part as you rest your head against his chest. "Because you're painfully beautiful."

Edward wasn't just buttering you up. When he said that, there was undeniable warmth and adoration that dripped from his tone. He was smitten. You'd never had any man regard you in such a way that made you feel vulnerable. You trusted Edward with your most vulnerable self.

He smirks when he reads your thoughts. Gently, he tilts your head back so that he can capture your lips.

After you, Edward thought he'd never fall in love again. Not as intensely as he had with you.

Bella came extremely close. But because she was human, Edward was limited in how he can show his affection. Even holding her hand, Edward had to reign in his supernatural strength. The slightest amount of his real strength could break her entire hand.

Without reading her thoughts, he could feel her annoyance and frustration. She desperately wanted to take things to the next level like any healthy teenager would. Bella desired to experience the physical aspects of their relationship. Were he human or even like Jacob. . . Edward would be more than happy to let himself fall into his temptations.

That just wasn't so.

The drive back home was a silent one as Bella stared out the window. As of late her attempts to get intimate in him were becoming more and more frequent. Along with her desire for Edward to change her into a vampire. He didn't want to change her just because it would make their relationship easier. That was still a last case scenario that he kept in the back of his mind. She didn't view her humanity the way Edward and his family did. It wasn't something to carelessly throw away. None of them had a choice in the matter. All were on the brink of death when Carlisle turned them. They would not have willingly given up their mortality.

Edward tried multiple times to convey this to Bella. It would go in one ear and out the other. Normally Edward didn't mind stubborn women. You were as stubborn as a bull during arguments. The two of you literally butting heads to get your point across. Those arguments never mattered in the end. There'd only been one argument that truly tore the two of you apart. Your very last argument.

Getting within a five mile radius of the Cullen house, Edward nearly slams the brakes of the car when he listens to the minds of those in the house. One whom he couldn't quite believe he was hearing.

Bella felt the swerving of the car. She glances at Edward with concern. "A-Are you okay?"

His grip tightened on the wheel, the flimsy material bends under his fingers.

He was hearing YOUR thoughts.

Esme refused to let you out of her hug.

Helplessly, you glance around the room; your gaze landing on a smiling Carlisle.

"Welcome home." His smile is heard in his words.

Finally Esme pulls back, her hands flying to your face to turn it this way and that. "Have you been eating enough? Oh look at your clothes. Alice, can you get her some new clothes?" You notice how her face flinches with nervousness when her gold eyes meet your red ones.

"I'm fine, Esme." You giggle and lower her hands away from your face to give them a reassuring squeeze.

"Clearly. Look at her eyes. She's been feeding on human blood." Rosalie needlessly points out. Yeah, you didn't really miss her. You had no idea what her mate saw in her besides the pretty face. Emmett was a bear of a man with the personality of a stuffed animal. You hadn't yet met Alice, Jasper or Emmett. When you left it was only Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Rosalie and you.

"I know that'll have to change if I want to live here again." You murmur defensively. "I'm ready now. Human blood isn't worth being alone anymore."

Esme's smile beams and once again she smothers you in a bear hug.

"Esme, give her some space. We don't want to scare her off." Carlisle pats his wife on her shoulder. Even Carlisle couldn't stop smiling. He'd sent that letter so long ago that he doubted you'd even read it.

"By the way. . . Where's Edward?" You curiously ask. Everyone appeared to be home except the one face you really wanted to see.

Instantly the room goes deadly silent.

"What?"

Carlisle grimaces and glances at his wife who was equally unsure of how to tell you. "There's something you need to know."

Your eyebrow quirks up. "Oh?"

He couldn't continue. The door swings open. No one had heard the sound of Edward's car entering the driveway or heard his hurried steps up the porch.

When the two of you lock eyes, the rigidness of his frame slackens and his honey eyes glisten with that same fondness he'd always had for you. He breathes out your name like it's a sacred phrase. You were even more beautiful to him standing there than the day he'd lost you.

You feel it to. That instant pull of your heart as it attempts to escape from your chest to jump at Edward. Your entire body vibrates with the intense urge to be close to him.

You would have run to him. Had it not been for the human girl at his side.

The rose tint your world had taken on faded in that moment to reveal the drabness of this brunette that stuck to his side. Her own brown eyes wavering in your presence.

Now highly conscious of Bella's existence next to him, Edward hastily makes introductions. "Um, Bella, this is (y/n). (y/n), this is. . . Bella."

Alice groans. "Way to go Ed."

"What's going on?" Timidly asked Bella who was still staring at you. She didn't like the way you and Edward had stared at one another like star-crossed lovers come together again. Bella hated how he'd said your name with such veneration. For so long Bella possessed Edward's sole attention. She was loathe to relinquish any of it.

Jasper and Emmett averted their eyes from the train wreck that was occurring.

Being blunt as usual, Rosalie steps in. "They used to date too."

Bella's eyes widen and with an expression of betrayal flicks to Edward. "Date?"

"Well, probably more than simple dating from the sounds that would come out of their room." Rosalie's tone was that of boredom. This was old news to her but new news to Bella. News that shattered her perception of everything around her.

"Rosalie!" Edward snaps at her.

She rolls her eyes. "Everyone was taking way too damn long in saying anything. What? Doesn't Bella deserve to know?" Rosalie looks at you while pointing a finger between Edward and Bella. "They're dating now."

"Yeah, I kinda got that." You glare at the blonde who was unaffected by the daggers thrown at her. Really, you were angry with the human girl. A human with the man you'd called your mate for so long. Jealousy licks the walls of your stomach like white hot flames.

Edward stands in front of Bella. "You're the one who left me." He whispers but everyone can hear it.

Bristling, you turn your back on the two and back to your adoptive father. "Where did you say my room was?"

"You told me you never had sex before!!" Bella can't help the shaky quality of her voice. Anger and hurt overwhelmed her. Tears bubble along her lower lashes. She keeps as far away from Edward as possible. "What else haven't you told me? O-Or lied to me about?"

"Bella-"

"And you still love her! No! Don't try to deny it. I heard you say her name when you first saw her. Everyone did Edward!" Maybe that was the worst part of it. That Edward still held a flame for you. She had so many questions. How long was it after their separation did Edward meet Bella? Why weren't they still together? Clearly you were staying if you'd asked Carlisle where your room was. For how long?

Did you intend to take Edward from her? Would you hurt her?

"I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm sorry, Bella." And he was. Edward never thought you'd come back to him after all those years apart. Boy he was royally fucked though.

Because he was still in love with you. That much was evident. The knowledge of you being just down the hall was driving him crazy. Something deep inside of him was begging to be with you.

Meanwhile on your end of the hallway, you're doing the best you can to not break everything in your room. He was right. Damnit he was right. You were the one to leave. Unable to accommodate to the vegetarian lifestyle. You gave up Edward for the high that human blood offered you. It would be unfair to expect Edward to pine for you. You should've taken into thought that maybe he'd moved on.

The backs of your eyes burned with the urge to cry. Unable to produce tears, all you can do is wrap yourself in blankets and let the dark swallow you whole.

[brotherwtf]

was reading a fic for another fandom where one of the characters have selective mutism & i was thinking about what if there was an au where gale has selective mutism (maybe because of his childhood or any sort of past trauma) & bucky eventually becomes the exception but only after like a really long time of knowing gale and trying his best to make himself special to gale or something like that

hope you’re having an amazing day & sending you tons and tons of hugs & kisses xoxo

omg wait this is actually so interesting! thank you anon!! sending all of my hugs and kisses back 💕💕

Gale's father would almost always yell at him whenever he talked back, even if Gale was just asking a question, so Gale just learned to not talk at all. It made the relationship he had with his father a little easier because he sometimes wouldn't come up with an excuse to beat Gale if he hadn't talked first. That didn't mean everything was grand and dandy, but it helped a little

When he finally enlisted, he was able to muster up the strength to talk briefly during flight school, only when he found necessary. His instructors liked that he was brief and quiet, he didn't talk back and always did what he was told without a single peep. Everyone thought he was weird.

Of course when Bucky strolled into their shared dorm and found his roomie wasn't a talker, he made it his goal to make Gale talk.

Gale was very hesitant to the onslaught of attention and friendliness from John, he was so used to indifference and politeness that having someone genuinely interested in him shocked him a little bit. John would drag him to outings, try to make jokes with him, sit with him in their classes, while Gale would only smile and give him a curt nod.

But John never gave up, even on the hardest days where Gale wouldn't even say a word to anyone, not even his instructors. What Gale didn't realize was how much he also cared for John, and only realized that once John was shipping out before him.

It was a routine night, just like any at the pub celebrating, but when they got back to their small room Gale closed the door and turned back to John who was already wrestling with his uniform. He quietly walked over and helped him and tried to ignore the way that John stared at his hands.

The first proper sentence Gale ever said to John was "I'm going to miss you, Bucky," and John was absolutely over the moon, promising Gale that he would stay alive long enough to get him reciting monologues, which of course made Gale laugh.

Gale half expects him to go quiet again when he's overseas, especially thinks he's never going to speak again after his first mission, but John was always there, pulling sentences from him and having brief conversations. It wasn't hard, with John, Gale actually felt like he wanted to talk to him.

It got to the point where Gale was having full conversations with John, and only John, would lean into his ear when he wanted to contribute something to the whole group and John would repeat it no problem. Gale was able to tell John about his father, and John cleverly interjects "So that's why you don't talk, don't like sports," and Gale only smiles because it had taken him so long to figure that out himself.

Gale expected the Stalag to make him go mute again, to bring back some of the trauma he felt with his father, but in actuality he didn't. Seeing John suffering so horribly brought out something in him he couldn't quite place, he would talk to him even when John wouldn't respond, and he knew how it felt to be John all of those years. It helped both of them, in the end, even when there were some bumpy patches.

It becomes special to them, Gale would only talk to John and of course that blossoms into something far closer than friendship. John was able to rewire something in Gale's brain to allow him to speak freely, and Gale would be forever grateful for that.

They didn't kiss until after the war was over, up in that control tower where Gale had taken his first sip of alcohol. Neither of them spoke, just sat and watched the flares go up and listened to the men cheering around base. They didn't talk when Gale found John staring at him instead of the flares, and they didn't talk when John leaned in and pressed his lips to Gale's.

After the war, they lived together in some sort of peace, as much peace as two war veterans can have, and Gale spent his days talking with John about everything and nothing. Gale was eternally grateful that John helped him find his voice, and hoped he would never lose it again.

[thezombieprostitute]

I recently saw a pair of ladies' underwear available online (I swear this is the most questionable way I've ever begun a message to someone, I swear I was just shopping) that had the text 'Achievement Unlocked' printed on the front, and that made me think of Jake & Tech Tuesdays. 😅 Just thought I'd share in case you were amused by it.

This is definitely going in the Jake & Sunshine Flashback Files.

Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.

Warnings: Mild smut. Please let me know if I missed any!

Word Count: ~2.1k

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Previous

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Jake was nervous. More nervous than he'd ever been in his life. And he'd been shot at before! It was your first date and he really wanted things to go well. You were so beautiful, kind, funny, smart and he was just a dork who got by everyone that he talked too much. Well, everyone but you told him that. It was another reason he felt he really needed to make this date perfect. No one else treated him so well and he knew he had to treat you like the angel of mercy and light you were to him.

What he didn't know was that you were just as nervous. The cute IT guy who never dissuaded you from talking about your interests, even shared your interests, was taking you on a date! You knew you weren't likely to find someone else as sweet. Well, sweet for now. A part of you was kept in check, reminding you that upfront kindness and interest rarely lasted longer than a month or so. Still, Jake felt different than those other guys. You felt so safe around him, and that counts for a lot!

Jake hits the buzzer for your apartment right on time. He'd been standing there for at least 20 minutes but didn't want to hit the button too early or too late. When you confirm it's him you hit the button to let him up and do all the last second preparations you think you need to make. He knocks on the door and you open it to find him holding a bouquet of yarn skeins. Your hands fly to your mouth in surprise and you bounce on your toes with excitement. Jake breathes a sigh of relief at the evidence that it was the right move.

Your first date is a blur of laughter, friendly conversation, and even some snuggling. Being the gentleman that he is, Jake walks you to your building door and you both feel the sparks fly at your first kiss. You won't know it for a few more months but after you parted ways for the night, you both did an excited victory dance.

It's your second date and you're so much more giddy than nervous. You and Jake had been messaging each other so much at work you were scared HR was going to step in. And you continued to have your lunches together whenever you could. You marveled at the fact that Jake hadn't seemed to tire of you talking about your favorite shows and movies.

Jake was equally happy that he could talk to you about his favorite things. He could jabber on and on and you would never scoff at him, derisively call him a nerd, ask him who cares about these things. And you would counter with your own good points and perspectives. He swears your conversations are the highlight of his days.

In fact, your second date was just an extended version of your lunch dates, but neither of you seemed to mind. You were both so comfortable and enjoying the time together. There was significantly more snuggling and you didn't wait for Jake to walk you to your door before you started kissing him. Jake was internally struggling to keep himself in check. Desperately wanting to make you happy, overjoyed at the affection, and trying to pay attention to your signals so he wouldn't overstep.

You wanted to bring Jake up to your apartment but you also didn't want to move too fast. He was so sweet, smart and strong and you didn't want to ruin it. Gently pushing his chest, he gets the hint and lets up. You thank him for a wonderful night and kiss the tip of his nose before giggling and asking him for a third date. Any fear you had that he'd be disappointed was gone the second his smile grew and his eyes lit up.

The work week before your third date was grueling. You were both so eager for the weekend, for unfettered access to each other, it made the work days go by so much slower. The two of you spent your lunches practically cuddling as you ate, exchanging little kisses. You'd been told that, so long as your work wasn't affected, HR would not step in. Though you're pretty sure you've seen some coworkers roll their eyes at you.

You try not to take it to heart when one or two of them give you a "friendly warning" about him losing interest after he gets sex. Jake's already so delightfully different from other guys you dated. He actually listened to you about your likes and dislikes. He didn't get you flowers, he got you yarn! He didn't order for you at restaurants. He didn't do backhanded compliments. He felt so genuine.

In fact, you felt so confident about Jake that, during your lunch, you asked him if he'd be willing to change up the plans for that weekend's date.

"What did you have in mind?" he stammers, hoping the last minute change isn't a bad sign.

"I was thinking," you hesitate a little. "I was thinking you could come over to my place and...and I'll cook? And we can watch movies together?" Heat rushes to your face as you start second guessing yourself.

Jake takes your hand, "that sounds awesome! Is there anything you want me to bring? Do you want me to help cook? I'm not much of a cook, but I can definitely clean up! Oh, and would you like me to bring some of my DVDs? We can compare libraries if you'd like."

You giggle, feeling a lot better than you did a few seconds ago. "Well, you said you have the Collector's Edition Highlander?"

He beams, "I'll happily bring it!"

As soon as he gets to his desk, Jake immediately calls up his friend, Cougar, for advice. He explains the conversation and Cougar just chuckles and says, "relax. Take a deep breath and be yourself. She's clearly into it."

"Thanks for that," Jake sarcastically replies.

"You're welcome," Cougar replies before hanging up.

Jake arrives with the promised DVD and, in lieu of a bouquet, he hands you a floral Lego set that has you bouncing on your toes in delight. As you let Jake inside he takes a deep breath and his mouth is immediately watering at the delicious smells from the kitchen. His cheeks turn pink as you both hear the grumbling from his stomach.

"Please tell me you've eaten today," you say, a little giggle in your voice.

"I...I'm pretty sure I did," he replies, his hand running through his hair as his cheeks redden. "I know I ate breakfast, I can promise that much." In truth he'd spent so much of the day nervous about the date he'd done everything except eat.

"You need to take better care of yourself," you gently chide with a kiss to his cheek. "I hope you don't mind that it's only spaghetti and garlic bread."

"'Only'? That sounds divine! And not just because I'm hungry."

"I'm glad to hear it," you confess. "I just need to dish it up and then we can eat. You can go ahead and sit."

Jake goes to the table, "which chair is yours?" You give him a confused look so he continues, "I mean, I'm a guest. I don't want to take your favorite spot. If you prefer this chair or that, I'll take the other one."

You smile in understanding and direct him to the chair that's further from the kitchen.

You bring out the plates and can't help but giggle at how he looks like such an eager puppy. The two of you talk, conversation flowing easily. Though you've only known each other a few months, it really feels like you've been together forever. There's a feeling of safety in each other's presence that makes you want to be together for the rest of forever.

When the meal is over you suggest it's time to start the movie, but as it starts up, neither of you is really paying much attention. Instead your both very aware of each other's presence. Jake had trouble keeping his breathing steady as you snuggled up to him. You had to fight to keep your hands in your lap, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Instead you opt to lay your head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

That's when you decide to try to be a bit bold.

You move one of your hands to Jake's leg and gauge his reaction. You think you hear his breath hitch but he doesn't protest. You start slowly, gently rubbing your hand along the leg of his jeans and his breathing definitely quickens.

"I can stop if you'd like me to," you rasp. You'd been so focused on Jake's breathing you hadn't realized how much your own had quickened.

Jake's brain is in panic mode. He wants you to never stop touching him, but he doesn't want you to feel like you have to. Then again, you're offering to keep going, you started this of your own volition. "Please don't stop," he finally croaks out.

"Would...would you like me to touch more than just your leg?" The groan Jake lets out makes you feel like his brain has just short circuited and needs a restart. "I mean, we don't have to. Especially if you're not comfortable with it." You remove your hand from his leg. "I never want you to be uncomfortable. I'm so sorry if I--".

You're cut off by Jake grabbing both sides of your face and bringing you in for a deep kiss. Your body moves mostly on instinct as you move to straddle him, and he moans into your mouth as you settle over his hard-on. You gently roll your hips and he whimpers, making the corners of your mouth turn up into a smile. You pull away from him and giggle as his lips follow yours.

"Not...not to be...too forward," you gasp, "but would...would you like to um, to...the bedroom?"

Jake looks into your eyes and sees how hopeful yet scared you are. He wants nothing more than to live up to that hope. He's so scared he's going to disappoint you. That it'll be a deal-breaker for you if he's not good enough in bed. In truth, disappointing you feels like it would break him. At the same time, if he doesn't take you up on your offer, you'll be disappointed as well. He ends up nodding his heading, not trusting himself to speak.

"Are you sure, Jakey? I need you to tell me 'yes'."

"Yes, oh dear lord, yes. I want you so badly that I'm scared I'll disappoint you. Please, yes, I've wanted this for so long--"

He's cut off by your finger moving over his lips in a shushing fashion as you giggle. "You don't have to prove anything," you promise. You get off of his lap and hold out your hand for him. He accepts, kissing the back of your hand, then up your arm, then along your collarbone, making you giggle again.

You lead him to your bedroom and sit on the bed before pulling him over you. He's very careful not to crush you but when you wrap your legs around his hips and pull him in close he loses a little control. You moan as you feel more of his weight on you and he lets his hands roam everywhere he can get them.

As clothes start to come off you marvel at how muscular Jake really is. You'd known he was strong but seeing it was something else. You trace your fingers along some of his tattoos as he works over your breasts. He's fondling, pinching, licking, nipping and you swear you're going to lose your mind from how good it feels. You start moaning his name and Jake swears he's in heaven.

"Jake," you coo, making him stop everything so he can listen to you. "Wanna feel you inside me, please?"

"You're too good to me, Sunshine," he rasps.

He starts pulling off your pants but stops when he sees your panties. They have the Xbox Achievement Unlocked icon. Jake looks at you and give him a sly smile and a wink.

"I...I may have planned for this," you confess, heat rushing to your face. "I just...wanted to be prepared."

Jake laughs and kisses you all over, feeling a renewed sense of calm. A sense that he was going to be okay. That you were his safe space.

-------

He saw those panties again a few years later on your wedding night.

Next

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[imtrashraccoon]

This is more of a transition chapter than anything, oh well. I really need to write a Dust-centric fic or oneshot sometime...

@owl-bones

First, Previous, & Next Day

Bad Sansuary II: Dust - Rain

Word Count: 1,360

The rhythmic drilling of rain against the roof was a rude awakening. With a groan, you forced yourself to sit up, feeling a familiar spike of pain as you did so. You had had a feeling you would suffer the next day, so the hangover wasn't a surprise, but it was still annoying.

Reven was tangled up in the bedclothes with his pillow covering his skull. At least he'd had enough sense of mind to remove his chainmail and steel armour before passing out last night. He had also taken off his amulet and shortsword from his belt, leaving them in a heap with his armour.

Similarly, you had shed your hide bracers and greaves, but kept your fur armour on to sleep. Since Reven hadn't actually rented a room and it was the middle of the night, you had decided to let him stay. However, you both agreed it would be best to remain fully clothed and keep to separate sides of the bed. You really didn't want to make another mistake like you had last night.

Speaking of mistakes, you needed to do something about your headache before it got worse. Moving carefully to avoid irritating your head, you put on the rest of your armour and strapped your dagger to your belt again. Despite trying to be quiet, you still ended up making more noise than you had intended, eliciting a groan of pain from Reven's incapacitated form. You decided to let him rest a bit longer, at least until you could bring him something to eat and drink.

With a sigh, you left the room and headed downstairs. It was still fairly early, but you were glad that you didn't have to deal with rowdy patrons just yet. The barkeep was cleaning the dining area as you entered the tavern and quickly moved to the bar when he noticed you. After paying to stay another night and for some breakfast, you decided to strike up a conversation with him.

"I noticed the guards at the gate all had a purple eye painted on their helmets. What's the deal with that?" you asked, trying to frame your question as casually as possible.

The middle-aged man had been wiping down the cooking area but he paused, turning to look at you through narrowed eyes. He seemed to study you for a moment before shrugging and returning to cleaning.

"It's just an initiation ritual," he grunted. "When a guard finishes their training, they paint an eye on their armour to show that they won't turn a blind eye to lawbreakers."

"Really?" you hummed, pausing to finish your glass of water. "I hadn't seen anything like that before and thought it was a little strange."

The barkeep didn't seem interested in continuing the conversation, so you chose not to press further. After finishing your meal, you decided to check out the city and maybe gather some more information.

Unfortunately, you had chosen the wrong day to go out. The moment you stepped outside, you immediately regretted doing so. It was still raining. For a minute you debated just going back inside, but you also didn't want to let the day go to waste. So, you stuck to the overhangs from the buildings to keep from becoming completely drenched.

There were very few people out in the streets and those who were, weren't willing to talk as they were trying to get back indoors as soon as possible. You even tried heading back to the temple, but the priest wouldn't let you in because you were "an outsider". In the end, you ended up just buying some food for Reven and returning to the tavern.

You found the spellsword still in bed when you stepped back into the room. The pillow was still hiding his face from view and you couldn't help but wonder if he had moved at all since you had been away. One of his legs was hanging off the bed and you cringed a little inside at the awkward way he was laying down. Surely his spine must hurt from staying in that position for so long?

Now, you had witnessed him attack anyone unlucky enough to startle him awake before, so you weren't about to take a bone bullet to the face. For a moment, you stood there trying to figure out how to go about waking him. You settled on moving to the other side of the bed, so there would be less of a chance of him falling off and gently patting the mattress.

"Hey," you whispered. "It's past noon, lazybones. Are you going to get up anytime soon?"

When he didn't respond, you decided to try again, moving your paw to the pillow. Slowly, you peeled it from his face, only for his eye sockets to suddenly snap open. You let out a startled yelp, dropping the pillow like a hot coal and stumbling backwards.

Reven groaned, his hand grasping the pillow and flinging it at the wall. He rolled over and rubbed at his temples, inhaling sharply. His eyelights found your face, although the edges were fuzzy and he seemed to be having a hard time focusing. The grooves underneath his eye sockets looked darker than they normally did too.

You crawled over to the bed, propping up your chin on the soft surface with your arms. "Rough night?" you asked quietly.

"yeah... couldn't sleep for hours... feel like death itself."

You grimaced at how scratchy his normally monotone voice sounded. "You certainly sound like death," you chuckled awkwardly. "I brought you something to eat, but maybe you would prefer some water first?"

He gave you a strange look, like something akin to confusion and regret. You said nothing and went to retrieve the bundle of fresh baked bread and cheese. By the time you had turned around, Reven had managed to haul himself into a sitting position, although he was still just watching you.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

He blinked before slowly shaking his head.

You raised an eyebrow before crossing the room and handing him both the bundle and your waterskin. "Right then... I'm just going to restring my bow or something."

You fiddled with your gear for a couple of minutes while he ate. Needless to say, it was pretty awkward just sitting in the same room, not saying anything to each other. You hadn't had to use your weapons for a few days, so none of them really needed any maintenance for the time being. You ended up just holding the carving you had made of the eye and staring long and hard at it. Maybe you would miraculously figure out what it really meant if you just kept at it...

"what did you do all morning?" Reven suddenly asked.

"Hm?" You blinked and looked up at him. "Oh! Um, I tried to ask about this symbol, but no one had any good answers beyond it being like a weird justice oath. I just don't know what to do now."

He motioned for you to pass him the symbol. "can i look at it again?"

You shrugged and moved to sit on the side of the bed, passing him the carving. He ran his phalanges over the rough grooves in the wood as if committing them to memory. You found yourself watching him for a moment, quietly glad you had thought to bring him something to eat as he seemed in a much better mood already.

"i'll try asking around later and see if i can at least get a name for it," he finally said.

"Then be prepared to get wet if you go out." You eyed the overcast sky out the window and wrinkled your muzzle in disgust. "Should we even bother investigating tonight if the weather doesn't clear up?"

Reven frowned and glanced over at the window as well. "it is annoying to move in wet armour," he remarked. "but we still need to explore more of the city."

"Yeah..." you sighed. "I just really hate having wet fur."

He nodded, "yeah, i get it. nothing good ever happens when it rains anyways."

[runespoor7]

I mean obviously I’m am going to ask you about chengxian, for the ask meme

What made you ship it?

It was the most interesting relationship in the book. I'm a sucker for childhood friends with broken promises, for grief, for misunderstandings over loyalty and love, and for relationships whose resolution in canon is bittersweet.

It still took some time and effort before I started really shipping it. I was theoretically open to shipping it but I hadn't yet read fics that really sold me on it (this was in 2019, I think). Then as an experiment I put a WWX-inspired character in the setting I was GMing for the JC and JYL NPC stand-ins to have him to play off of. Turned out I did ship them.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

😬

*wide, helpless, expansive gesture*

It's never simple with them. It's always fraught. They love one another but they also resent one another. Hunting demonic cultivators is about WWX still maybe being alive. Maybe JC can bring himself to kill WWX this time, or maybe he can find a way to bring WWX back home and forgive him. WWX promises to be with JC but he ends up promising that he won't stay ("like my father served your father") but he didn't mean it with an end. the mess that is the fraughtness of WWX's liminal space when it comes to his social rank.

love hurts, what hurts is love.

the fact that the one 'leading' is WWX, not JC, going against the accepted social order. (tbh, if that wasn't the case, I probably wouldn't be into the ship.) it paints such a picture of WWX being so charismatic, and JC being so taken with him, that JC falls into being WWX's sidekick. no wonder YZY was awful about it.

JC keeping Chenqing like a mad dog and keeping Lotus Pier WWX-safe. I. god. JC rating WWX's attention >>>>>>>>>>>>> JC's self-respect every time, in every way. Amazing.

it's incredible to me how WWX asks JYL about love in a scene framed in a manner to make it subtextually point in the direction of LWJ (it's mdzs; the canon pair in mdzs is wgxn; there are no - explicit - love triangles in mdzs; and yet even WWX's original crush on LWJ is, uh. informed by JC and how WWX is with JC and the fact that LWJ is New and Not The Son of WWX's Benefactor. this is normal.), where it's apparent that WWX is scared of being in love because it changes how you act, it's a limit, it's a cage, you're limiting yourself for someone else - and then WWX does something for JC that is everything he was scared of.

and it does ruin him! it's terrible! so his romance with LWJ is everything his feelings for JC weren't. He's not the one doing the protecting. LWJ doesn't question him. There are no expectations of anything, no discussions of the future, no thoughts of society. LWJ is just such a comfort, just a good thing WWX gets because he wants it. Also LWJ isn't emotionally taxing af (this is a big one). (WWX kinda ends up YZY-ing himself at the end of the book but I'm not thinking about that.)

WWX's utter toxicity toward JC. not a iota of respect for either JC or JC's boundaries to be found, except when convenient for WWX.

they both really, really believe that WWX is better than JC in every way. it's very cool

look. i'm a simple person. arrogant genius jerk/grumpy dutiful tsundere otp.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I love the joke that chengxian isn't incest but both of them wish it were, but I think the only time one of them wished they were brothers was JC when he decided to sacrifice himself for WWX and he was lying in bed making morbid jokes. At least sacrificing yourself for your brother who is the better cultivator and can lead the sect would be simple. Forgivable. Good.

I also think they might grow to think of one another as brothers at some point post-canon, that's a sort of reconciliation that might happen, but to me it's key that during canon they don't know what they are to one another, they just know they're scarily, terrifyingly important, and there's no word for what they are to one another.

JC refused shixiong-shidi (in a shocking reversal of their normal dynamic, I think he forgot he did that and spent roughly two decades feeling insecure and weird that WWX doesn't call him shidi) and they can be nothing else, socially speaking. The love that dare not speak its name, if you would. And at that same time post-canon they could also decide that what they're to each other is that WWX used to be in love with JC, and maybe JC still is, and they're not brothers. Or maybe both! The point is, the definition of their relationship is uncharted waters and they never thought of each other as 'brothers' (much less called each other that).

2) WWX is incredibly bitter and resentful of giving his core to JC and that colors everything he thinks and says about JC afterwards, including after he's returned to life. Basically, he gave, and gave, and gave, and felt there was no gratitude, and he's unable to live the life he wanted, unable to reap the promises life made him, and JC isn't any more agreeable or tractable than before (less so, in fact!). It's not fair.