#It actually delights me that people think of me in such a way that I think about my favorite characters.
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Singing the Return
(A followup to Singing the Approach)
Our ship touched down like usual, with the captain in the cockpit along with a pilot (it was Kavlae’s shift), talking to the locals about where to park. In a slight departure from usual, this landing pad wasn’t anywhere near the ground. It was on top of a cactus-tree-thing that thankfully (very thankfully) didn’t sway in the wind.
I waited in the cargo bay with Zhee. He was a little twitchy, flicking his antenna and shuffling his legs and generally not holding still. I wasn’t about to say anything about it, but I suspected Zhee wasn’t a fan of heights.
Luckily for him, the landing pad was broad enough that he didn’t need to get close to the edge. Unluckily for him, Captain Sunlight had suggested that he be part of the delivery crew today because he’d been there when we met the clients before, and they would be expecting him.
With the amount he was flexing his pinchers, you’d think he was the one the clients had offered to give a tour of their skyscraper cactus city.
As the bay door started to open, Zhee asked me, “Did you check if that belt has a full charge?”
“Yes I did,” I told him, pushing the button on my gravity belt to display a full line of power lights. “And Mimi even looked it over for loose wires or whatever. I’m all set.”
“Good,” Zhee said, angling his torso so that his front half was higher — the Mesmer equivalent of standing up straight. I was continually amused by how much praying mantises resembled centaurs, and how much this particular alien species resembled Earth bugs. This wasn’t the time to bring it up, though.
The door was open all the way now, and there was Captain Sunlight, come to lead the way out. I could see a cluster of many-limbed locals waiting outside in the bright sun. The landing surface looked like it was made of red rocks mined nearby. Hopefully they were stable on top of this cactus-tree. The captain waved us forward: Zhee with the crates on a hoversled and me singing my best approximation of the local greeting song.
I’d practiced it on the way here. It was high-pitched but slow, like a songbird in slow motion. Or, more accurately, like a songbird trying to sing like a whale. This particular culture interacted regularly with their ground-bound evolutionary cousins, who wouldn’t have made it past the first climbing spike on these cactus towers.
The Tree-grabber in front stepped forward, chirping a reply song, then switching to the more recognizable trade language. “Greetings! We are delighted to smell you.” He waved his mousy ears happily, all four arms folded in front of him.
“And we you,” replied Captain Sunlight, whose people actually said that kind of greeting themselves. Her yellow scales were extra bright in this sun. “Would you like to inspect the merchandise?”
They would. Zhee did his part by prying open the crates with his mighty mantis arms — I don’t know why the supplier of these fruits insisted on packaging them this way, but it was good we had him along — and the Tree-grabbers all made a big deal of sniffing the fruits. The antigrav belts in the other crate got sniffed too, though thankfully they didn’t stink.
I could smell the fruits from where I was standing; that sour smell made my eyes water even at a distance. But no one was paying attention to me, busy as they were with signing for the delivery on the tablet that Captain Sunlight held out. Zhee put the lids back on. I wiped my eyes and admired the view. It was a nice scenic desert scrubland out there, with only the other cactus-trees in the way. I could see the entire sprawling city where the Ground-grabbers lived, and just barely make out the buildings on the distant Air-grabber mesa.
“Are you still interested in a tour?” someone asked.
I turned back and smiled without baring teeth. “Yes please!”
The lead Tree-grabber was returning the tablet to Captain Sunlight while the others moved the crates onto their own low-tech wheeled cart. Behind them, a hatch slid open in the red stones of the landing pad. Zhee towed the hoversled back toward our ship as soon as it was empty.
Captain Sunlight looked up at me. “Travel with care,” she said, which was a polite way of urging me not to trip and fall off the cactus.
“I will,” I told her. “And I have my phone if anything comes up.” That covered a lot of ground. We’d already discussed keeping an eye out for possible delivery needs: offworld items that I might tactfully suggest to the locals. They wouldn’t have thought to ask about the antigrav belts if the subject hadn’t come up in conversation the last time we were here.
“Then kindly follow me to the handpath,” said the many-limbed monkey-mouse. Dang, what was his name? I thought. He had a name. It translated as just a sound. Chirp, right, that’s what it was. I knew that. Totally professional over here. I kindly followed Chirp in the direction of the handpath.
Which was over the edge, because of course it was. Metal handrails like the kind I usually saw at swimming pools waited next to the steps. Chirp led the way.
I set the gravity belt to “catch me if I suddenly plunge downward,” and followed.
I like climbing, right? Big fan. I was all over the playground as a kid, and I never really stopped. It’s particularly fun when I get to be “the one who can reach things high up,” or otherwise be appreciated for climbing a tree or a spaceship or what have you. Occasionally I’ll meet someone else who enjoys being above the ground. Most species seem to prefer being on a safe, level surface.
Not these guys. Wow. I was glad that Captain Sunlight had insisted on the gravity belt, because this was intense. The entire city street system were basically ladders on the outside of skyscrapers.
“This handpath is designed with elders and the occasional visitor in mind,” Chirp called up to me. “Artificial steps and platforms placed regularly.” When I looked down, I saw that he was indeed standing on a platform already, which even had a railing around it. There were more ladders on either side, and other platforms that could be reached with the help of metal handholds.
“That’s very considerate,” I said. Other cactus-trees were close enough that I could watch the agile citizens scurry along the surfaces, using only the natural cactus spikes and small branches. Wild. “Do you have any handpaths inside?” I managed to make it sound casual as I stepped down onto the platform with a perfectly normal heart rate. There was a door here that I hadn’t seen from above.
“There are some,” he said. “Mostly for emergencies.”
I had to laugh. “That’s the opposite of where I’m from.”
“Really?” He perked up in curiosity. “How so?”
“We have tall buildings like this that we made,” I said with a wave toward the towering plants. “Nothing on Earth grows this big, but we can build it. And we do all our travel between levels inside, except for emergency escape ladders on the outside.”
“Fascinating!” Chirp said. “I suppose if you make the whole things yourselves, you can make sure the inside is strong enough to support as many rooms as you need.”
“Yeah, definitely,” I agreed, laying a palm against the smooth cactus wall. “These are pretty soft at the core, huh?”
“Oh yes, that’s why the rooms are kept strictly to the outer layer,” Chirp said. “Come in; let me show you.”
He opened the door and I got ready to duck, since it was just under human height, then a rapid succession of shadows passed over us.
Chirp made an irritated click. “Air-grabbers, come to get in the way again!”
I looked, curious to see what they actually looked like. Both the Tree-grabbers and the Ground-grabbers had complained about them last time.
They looked a lot like I expected: bats with skinny arms held close while they flew. Everybody seemed to have six limbs on this planet.
And varying opinions about personal space. The Air-grabbers fluttered around the cactus towers, inspecting anything that caught their interest. They circled people carrying groceries. They poked their heads into open doors, only to get shooed back out. They arrowed in on the spaceship parked above. And they flew past me repeatedly, almost enough of them to run into each other. High-pitched voices floated on the breeze, but none of them addressed us directly.
“Inside,” Chirp said, opening the door. I followed him in. He shut it firmly, leaving the squeaking cloud of bats outside.
The ceiling was a bit low here, but at least this was a proper civilized room, not something carved directly from the wet cactus innards. Multiple desks, counters, and couches made it look like an info center, or some other kind of “just arrived from above” hub. I wondered if there was a lot of travel between cactus cities here. Several locals waited in line.
Then someone else rushed in after us, complaining in her own chittering language, and she pulled up short when she saw the tall alien bent over by the door.
“Hello,” I said.
“My greetings,” she said, edging sideways. “Pardon.” With a quick arm gesture that was probably polite — one to her chest and three outward — she hurried off to stand in line. Everyone else was staring.
I’ve been stared at plenty in my time, so this was only a little awkward. I waved. Small windows that I hadn’t noticed in the walls flickered with passing shadows.
Chirp said, “I apologize for the Air-grabbers. They hardly make a visit pleasant.”
“Is there any way to ask them nicely to leave?” I asked. “I assume you’re tried discussing it with their leaders?”
“Many times.” Chirp looked tired. “They don’t care. As far as they’re concerned, the air is their territory, and it’s our poor luck that we have to breathe it.”
“How rude,” I murmured, not wanting to cast judgement on an alien culture. But my present audience more than agreed.
“Yes, they are very rude,” Chirp said, working up to a proper rant. “Shouting at them does no good, since they just find it funny. Bad weather will make them leave, but that’s a problem for us too, and hardly something we can conjure up on a whim. Though they did seem to dislike the sound of the wind through the observatory when half the windows were left open; that we could probably do on purpose. Not very helpful here, though.”
“What kind of sound was it?” I asked, half an idea forming.
“A very high shriek,” he told me. “Almost too high to hear. The wind did some strange things with those windows.”
“I wonder if you could ward them off with noise,” I said.
“Maybe,” he said, not sounding terribly optimistic. “Like I said, yelling doesn’t help, and that’s loud too.”
Somebody else scrambled through the door, complaining. This guy didn’t even see me, just slamming the door and hurrying forward like he was ready to have words with whoever was in charge here. Maybe he was. More shadows passed over the windows.
“Can I try something?” I asked. “A quick loud noise? I’ll do it outside.”
He looked curious at that. “Go ahead. Just make sure not to startle anyone on the handpaths nearby.”
“Of course,” I said. Then I turned my back on the staring eyes, opened the door, and stepped out to where I could stand up to my full height.
No Tree-grabbers nearby. Perfect. I put two fingers in my mouth and let loose with the most ear-piercing whistle I could muster.
Startled bats changed course in midair, flapping and diving to get away, a cloud of chattering alarm and confusion. Judging by the shadows, some of the ones from above had lifted off as well.
I watched for a moment to see that they kept their distance, then I ducked back inside.
“That seemed to work,” I told Chirp.
Chirp was rubbing his ear. “I’m not surprised. Very loud. How well did it work?”
I waved him outside to take a look for himself. He perked up when he saw how far the Air-grabbers had moved back. “That’s the best result I’ve seen yet! I’m sure some of it might be from the surprise of it all, but even so.”
“You said the wind shriek was almost too high to hear,” I said. “Do you think the Air-grabbers can hear sounds that you can’t quite pick up?” Their ears were bigger, but what did I know?
“Now that,” Chirp said decisively, “Is an idea worth pursuing.”
“So there’s this animal on my planet called a dog,” I said. “And a certain kind of whistle that only they can hear…”
By the time my tour was over, I had a representative of the city very interested in having us deliver some offworld noise-makers that might help them keep the peace.
(The rest of the tour was nice; they had some impressive architecture inside those cactuses, and everyone greeted me politely. I didn’t fall off the side once.)
When I climbed back up the ladder to the landing pad, taking care not to focus on the long drop behind me, I was surprised to find a handful of Air-grabbers perched there in conversation with the captain.
Chirp made a disapproving grunt, but said nothing as we walked over.
“Ah, welcome back!” Captain Sunlight said to me. “It looks like our next visit will involve a delivery of fruit to the other above-ground city in these parts.”
The Air-grabber in front smiled with sharp teeth. “Ours is the best.”
“As you say,” Captain Sunlight agreed politely.
“We will need the items delivered directly to an entrance,” said the Air-grabber. “Not to the high ground. Is that something you can do?”
Chirp muttered something that sounded like “Knew it.”
“I’m sure we can manage that,” Captain Sunlight said. “Our ship has some very stable thrusters, and talented pilots. And, failing that—” She looked at me. “Someone experienced with antigrav belts and high places.”
I chuckled and turned off the safety. “That you do.”
~~~
There's an exciting mini-project coming out next week! Details here!
~~~
These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.
Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.
The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).
#a few people wanted to see what would happen when the crew came back here#maybe learn more about the aliens#whyever not#they're interesting#ALSO check out that link about the mini-project#I'll post more about that soon#very excited#my writing#The Token Human#humans are weird#humans are space orcs#haso#hfy#eiad#writeblr
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I think Irving and Jopson should be best friends actually. I think after Jopson’s promotion John “professional overplanner” “desperate for human connection” “looked fully delighted and congratulated Jopson on becoming a lieutenant” Irving should go up to him and say in that very earnest-genuine-overserious way he talks, hey I just want to make sure you don’t think I resent you for this since you’re a third lieutenant and I’m a third lieutenant, I am happy to share that title with you and I 100% believe you’ve earned it, and if you ever want any advice or help or anything pls come to me ☺️ (< except he doesn’t actually remember to smile until the end bc he got nervous giving that little speech (he prepared it in advance))
and Jopson takes a bit to feel comfortable asking for advice bc that involves being even slightly vulnerable, which, absolutely not. Also he is now of the same rank which means they’re allowed to be less formal with each other, and he’s not used to that. But Irving (and Little too!) always makes a point of showing him respect, and they’re obviously working closely since they’re sharing duties, so eventually he starts being able to be a bit less formal with him as they learn how they work together.
They’re both fairly quiet, even shy people who are very good at their jobs. I think even before Jopson’s promotion they have a lot of respect for each other, and if they’d been given enough time working together, they’d have become a really efficient duo. Eventually I think they could have been good friends
#if they’d had the time!!!#mine#you ever think abt how terror had two third lieuts for a hot sec#the terror#the terror amc#terrorposting#john irving#thomas jopson
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Hi, Ghoul. Apologies for kinda venting (?) on your asks, and please ignore this if you'd like, but how does one cope with the idea (and, quite possibly, reality) of being alone for the rest of their life?
I've never been the most confident individual in my years of being alive. I'm not conventionally attractive, and I've been battling with my perception of self for like, basically my entire life. Never really had romantic relationships, other than unrequited and secret crushes. At first, I thought to myself that I could deal with being alone and unloved in that way, but I figured as I grew older that maybe I'm just trying to be tough about it. I want to have the kind of love that other people have, envious as I may sound. I want to be able to look at myself and think, "wow, despite my flaws, someone still took the risk to get to know me and chose to stay."
Of course, this is not to say that the love my tight-knit circle of friends and family aren't adequate. I'm just curious. And hopeful that someday I get to have that other kind of love.
That said, I really love your works and I am privileged to be able to read them :)) it's always such a delight to see your rambles and reblogs in my dash. <3 Hope everything is going well for you.
Hello my love. You already know I'm going to suggest therapy so I'm going to get that out of the way early.
Here's the meat of it. There are thousands upon millions of people who feel exactly the same way you do and I truly believe this is because of the way western society has structured its media/propaganda. So much of the media we consume is loaded with this idea that romantic love is this totally different thing that will complete your life and show you how worthy you are if only you can find it.
This is a load of horse shit.
One of the unhappiest times of my life was spent in my first relationship. I actually had a harder time loving myself because I was scrambling to prove I was worth being loved by a person who liked me in theory but in practice frequently flaked on dates and didn't care about my emotional wellbeing.
I say all of that because I had your same attitude of "despite my flaws they're choosing to stay with me" and ultimately she left me. Over text. It was a whole thing.
So many of you talk about being "old" and "destined to be alone" and you're like 25. Hell even if you're 50, people find love at any age, but the only way to find anyone good is to be comfortable with the fact that romantic love isn't the end all be all of love. You can fall in love with anyone, that doesn't make it a good relationship. It just means you're in love.
Also what do you mean "someone took the risk?" Are you a serial killer? Do you set fire to police cars? You sell meth? What risk do you pose to anyone? You're sad and have low self esteem. So what? That makes you a risky prospect? Your flaws of *checks notes* talking down about yourself is such a huge hurdle that it's a grave danger to anyone that wants to date you?
And I'm sorry I feel like I'm getting sort of mean but you got me in older sibling mode with this and so you're getting big sister shit.
I just- like if you truly believe that you are such a burden to date then you aren't going to get what you want out of a relationship. You'll become obsessed with the first person that reciprocates your affections and it will spiral into something that hurts you. I am speaking from experience.
My dear, i am a stranger on the internet, and I love you. This world is cruel towards tender hearts and disappointment hides in every corner, but we keep loving the world and the people in it anyway. Love finds us when we least expect it, and if you truly want that sort of love it will come to you.
But I need you to be kinder to yourself. I know you said you struggle with self image. Stop measuring yourself against other people. Stop setting up goal posts for your life. Stop thinking your flaws make you some undateable ghoul. They make you, you, and whoever you date will love you for them not in spite of them.
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He's lucky we love him unconditionally 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣😂 In all seriousness, I think some viewers are too quickly dismissing the show as repetitive and not deep enough. I mean, I could watch Mark do this on a 24 hr basis with very little variation, 😂 but even so, there are many layers going on with this last bit at the end of ep 3 (my favorite of 1-3 and the least liked by most viewers). There's a wildly insane, narcissistic, cruel and sadistic, yet weirdly earnest and almost innocent aspect of the killer's humor that I just love. Plus, and this is maybe the secret ingredient if you pay close attention: at his core, he's so fucking hurt (earnest) and bitter/resentful/vengeful (asshole) about being rejected by people he tries to befriend. So, he has turned the cycle of rejection into one he actively controls from start to finish. On the other hand, he can appear flatly emotionless and sociopathic in certain moments. But I'm not sure that's at the root of his evil or his personality. The point is, we may never fully know. He's not just a 1-2 repetition of "the quirky weirdo" turns into the "evil psycho," he's never ever just one or the other. "Josef," real name who-the-fuck-knows, is all of it, and he's addressing his delighted entertainment at his own killing at us. Who else is he bragging to? Obviously, himself as he watches the tapes again to relive his supposed glory/accomplishments, etc. But the tapes are also a documentation of his "work" which is his legacy. In a way, it's a much less over-the-top rendition of the themes seen in The Poughkeepsie Tapes (which I also like) and even Barbarian (a great movie). The twisted documentarian. He makes us complicit in a sense, but is understanding what he really wants? I think he'd want us to be impressed. He wants us to know he's not that nervous, babbling dork that he actually is, he's the big bad nightmare. What is fascinating to me about "Josef" / the killer is how he's simultaneously sincere and deceptive, despicable and yet relatable in his loneliness and awkwardness, hilarious and terrifying.
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HxH inquiries I know will never be answered but I still think about (spoilers for anime and beyond the anime below)
- What was the Hunter Exam like for Satotz, Menchi, Buhara, etc.
- Is there really no compensation for being an examiner
- Who nen initiated the funny three (Gido, Riehlvelt, Sadaso)
- Who did Kastro beat to gain nine wins (count em, 9. 9 out of the 10 wins needed to be able to challenge a Floor Master)
-- I'd be willing to bet that Gido, Sadaso, and Riehlvelt was at least 1 - 3 of Kastro's wins
-- On that note, who were the eleven that Chrollo (yes, CHROLLO) beat to become a Floor Master
--- yea eleven because 10 wins + 1 floor master = 11 people chrollo had to beat
---- maybe some of them were used as experiments for chrollo's cards (sun and moon, black voice, gallery fake, order stamp, convert hands)
--- Why in Gods name did Hisoka schedule for fights he didn't even show up for
---- yeah he's an "I do what I want and I don't care" guy. But like DUDE. Because of that, your loss to Chrollo costed your EVERYTHING in Heaven's Arena and you have to START ALL OVER AGAIN
- Who is Gon's mom (if he even had a mom)
- Who was the Number 4th Phantom Troupe member before Hisoka (or was hisoka recruited on the spot..?)
-- I'd be willing to accept Omokage if Togashi would (HxH: Phantom Rouge is definitely not perfect, but it was cute for a HxH movie). bonus points if something cool/meaningful is done with Omokage
- What does Tonpa do for a living
- How often does Milluki go outside
- How has Illumi not broken down emotionally yet
- Actually how has EVERYONE in the Zoldyck estate not broken down emotionally yet
- So if Hisoka takes delight in pain and challenges, is there anything that actually pisses him off
-- I would say maybe he gets upset when he's cockblocked (i.e.: Chrollo's "I can't use nen anymore") but even then 1) it gives him more time for anticipation before he eventually realizes his twisted dreams and 2) not getting what you want can be pain and a challenge to relish in in and of itself. So idk maybe nothing angers Hisoka and if that's the case hot dang I applaud his resilience. (Yeah Hisoka took his loss against Chrollo pretty bad but he wasn't visibly ticked off about that)
- What did Tsezguerra do before Greed Island (or did he dedicate his life to something like GI)
- I get people like Machi, Nobunaga, and Franklin, who probably have jobs outside of the Phantom Troupe orders. But what do people like Phinks, Feitan, Shalnark, and Uvogin do outside of the Phantom Troupe
- What does Chrollo do in his free time
-- Does Chrollo even have a set "work time" or does he just determine any time as a good time for thievery and murder
- What is Chrollo a fan of
-- Would he share his fandom interests or keep them to himself
- What does Razor do when he's bored even with sports & such
- What was Genthru hoping to gain after getting all of the cards
-- Maybe Battera's card bounty. but after getting paid, what was he going to do
- Was Kite ever (unknowingly) SO close to Ging during his hunt for him (akin to how close Gon and Gyro were during the CA arc, perhaps?)
- How did the Chimera ants find their way from the Dark Continent and into the known world (like what did some ants migrate on the sea with some floating log)
- How did Knuckle find out about being a hunter, and what drew him to the occupation (same could be asked for Morel, Knov, Palm, and Shoot, but Knuckle intrigues me the most with his whole runaway story)
- How did Knuckle and Shoot meet; How did Morel and Knov meet; How did Morel meet Knuckle and Shoot; How did Knov meet Palm
- How did Morel mentor Knuckle and Shoot
can you tell i like the extermination team members a lot
- What does Knov teach Palm
- Do Knuckle, Shoot, and Palm consider each other as coworkers, associates, or something else (it'd be so cute if all three of them knew each other very well)
- where was Ging before the election, what was he doing (if he was being a bum I wouldn't be surprised)
- What does Pariston do when he's bored
- Does the Hunter Association involve themselves in every field (crime, medical, technology, cybersecurity, food, etc.) and if so where does their influence start and end
- How does networking work in the world of HxH
- How common is it in the world of HxH for someone to be fighting/aiming to physically harm someone or something (because for a story that proposes occupations beyond fighting, it begs the question of how common fights actually are)
- How in Gods name did King Nasubi survive his generation's Succession War
-- Either 1) the other princes destroyed themselves and only Nasubi remained, 2) Nasubi, his men, or his resources actually kicked ass in his Succession War, or 3) Even though he was weak his siblings were weaker (or something)
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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I am kind of fascinated by the Hornblower-not-matching-his-setting, though. I think that's actually been one of the things that I've thought about the most, especially in books where it's been particularly egregious (Beat to Quarters/The Happy Return, Ship of the Line, etc.). Did Forester just happen to stumble upon a brilliant character and, not realizing what a brilliant character he was, just carry on unknowingly writing him into his Swashbuckling Adventure Stories? Did he know that Hornblower was so delightfully complex but didn't know what to do with him? Did he know what to do with him but couldn't? It's also interesting to think about in the context of canon—how much of the Hornblower we see is also distorted through the lens of being a Hero of Our Glorious British Empire? How much more cruel or ignorant does he become from other perspectives? Yes, he has moral dilemmas, but if we step outside of the moral dilemmas as the books present them, what other narratives might we see?
#this is what i mean by these books not being easy reading for me#like idk man they should not be thought provoking but sometimes reading things by guys you dislike makes your brain muscles stronger#when i say 'reading between the lines' i do not just mean on a queer level#actually a good deal of the reading between the lines i've done has been with all the people he's interacted with#and the way the narrative sets up particular moral dilemmas in particular ways to serve particular plot ends#but in reality i entirely disagree with everything that's going on there and it's fun to think about what happens when you break free#of those dilemmas. except it's also a lot of work#like augh. these books are extremely taxing i can easily read them in like a day but thinking about them takes all my strength#and then on top of that they make me insane i have to put the book down and scream every five seconds at just. The Hornblower#EXTREMELY delightful thinking fodder though. why? who knows but they sure are#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott
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so my sister is getting me to watch Cobra Kai while I'm visiting home, right
and look. She warned me about the love square. The old man rivalry. All that good stuff. What she did not warn me of, or rather, was not equipped to warn me of(she's never played DR), was the fact that Mondo Owada is a main fucking character
#desperately hoping Hawk does not go the Mondo way and like. die or something#I'm mid-season 3 btw so no spoilers plz :)#but anyway yeah! I'm liking it so far#I think Johnny is my fav rn. Johnny is developing so well he's such a broken man of a protag it's delightful#I can see this 'toxic masculinity to fill the insecurities' thing they've got going with Hawk and. *chef's kiss*#crane-talk#also um. Hawk and Demetri are ex-boyfriend coded#“you're actually gonna hurt me?” “Eli stop it's me!" stop fucking stop it#they were each other's first kiss at one of their sleepovers#ALSO HI WHERE TF DID AISHA GO#she was one of my favs and she just fucking dissipated#yes ik 'she moved away' shut up and let your only black woman be a main character do not get lazy and toss her out when you can't think of#anything for her to do. She has been here since day 1 you're seriously gonna tell me they couldn't keep her in at all? Bullshit#surely they could've had her take a central stance between the increasing aggression of Cobra Kai and Miyagi Do's attempts to stand up for#themselves. And used that to demonstrate that the people within Cobra Kai aren't just doomed to become monsters#like Sam (and Hawk) seem to believe right now#really hoping she's coming back later and that this is being done with a purpose
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So who’s your favorite character in Wander Over Yonder? And what’s your fav ship(s)?
Oh, I love playing this guessing game!! ♡ ~('▽^人) ✨
Favorite character? Well...
[🎨📺]
As for ships, I wouldn't exactlyy say I ship anything in this show tbch, but I'd say I'm especially fond of Sylava, in a strictly fanon kinda way.
#Wander Over Yonder#Lord Dominator#woy is funny bc the core four are all so shippable but nothing rlly does it for me. i think nearly all possible pairs there have some charm#when considering *all five* of the mains not a whole lot changes bc dominator's a lesbian and sylvia is the only other main who isn't a dud#(i'm not a pr.o.shi.pper so bigoted type stuff grosses me out when it comes to shipping. we don't go there eugyhgfghhs)#tbcch i'm of the firm belief that lord dominator shouldnt be shipped with anyone in a srs sense. like as far as staying true to canon goes#she's made it extremely clear that she's not into that kinda stuff *and* that she's wAy too horrible for any kinda relationships anyway#but when it comes to lighthearted silly fanon stuff (or any degree of au stuff where *GASP* D isn't a demon & they Work) sylava makea me :)#(in whatever way ppl wanna imagine them. i'm partial to ''yes homo no romo'' qpr type goodness w/ them but i love seeing Everyone's takes!!#partially bc it's nice to see people actually. care. about what dom is and is not about (sexuality-wise). which is THE BARE MINIMUM but wel#a lot of people Do Not do that! sadly sexism and homophobia exist and it seeps into a lotta things in a lotta small ways and *sobs*#SO YEAH IT'S NICE TO SEE. NOT THAT. it's nice to see as a light shining through the darkness that is the internet & 2010s show fandoms sks#ah & partially bc sylava is like. literally the only ship ever kinda-sorta-teased in the show in a way that wasn't just played for jokes#which i think gives us neat things to work with when it comes to the whole ''what if'' kinda stuff- so!!! yea i just think it's neat :]#in both an ''in another life...'' not-so-hypothetical chemistry kinda way AND in an 'im a real stickler for Canon Goodness' kinda way too#haha#as for other ships i'm especially partial to... mmmmm.. 🤔#deathglare in the context of hater learning to cherish & appreciate peepers and treat him RIGHT makes me happy. i like that :)#and skeleton dance is always fun!!!! a real delight both on and off the screen hehah#most everything else makes me go ''oh cool. yea that's cute.'' 👍#ships involving minor characters are pretty take it or leave it. i dont think there's any i have any strong feelings about#except ig that it was pretty sweet when people were shipping lord hater & ripov. tbh i like how many ships people came up with w/ her#that was really swag. she was a fun character!!
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I hope it's not too strange to say, but I think meeting you (the person) made me realise how much of a "blorbo" you (Sammy) are ? To me ? I genuinely haven't realised how strong this feeling was before pffh. I get too excited seeing your reblogs /pos
- @bendyy-blog
It is an honor and a privilege just to be blorbofied. /ref
#I say this somewhat as a joke.#But it's /gen.#It actually delights me that people think of me in such a way that I think about my favorite characters.#I know some fictionkin like to keep some level of separation between them and the fandom because it makes them uncomfortable.#But frankly#As someone who grew up in fandom spaces#It couldn't be farther from the truth for me. I am delighted when people share headcanons or ask me about my source or involve me in fanart#I am an avid fanartist myself and I love the odd weird and unsettling.#So it doesn't put me off at all.#This is actually quite a compliment. I didn't think anyone could ever like me in a blorbo way and frankly I'm delighted by it#Thank you my lord. 🖤#sam talks#sam rambles
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ough.... why do i have a crush on this person i think i'm going insane
geez... how did this happen.
my anxiety is all over the place but i'll enjoy the happy feelings while i can ♡
#( 💭 faun thinks )#last time i had a crush on someone it uh. did not end well. so i'm anxious#i actually dont get crushes on ppl very often#love to flirt w/ people in a silly platonic way but now..... ough...#my heart of hearts is being silly#anyway dont mind me akdjdj#i get shy talking abt these things actually....... its one thing to think ppl r cute and wonderful platonically#but romantically? ahhh......#oughhh#i am a mix of delighted and insecure bc on one hand... im kind of cool and likeable... maybe#but on the other hand... 😭 i am also just a silly guy#a bundle of anxiety tied together in a pretty lil bow to distract from The Mess#this is why i've been in boy mode lately btw...#i like a girl and my brain wants to be her boyfriend and does a switchy flippy 💔#delete later#probably#i'm being so silly rn#taking up all my thoughts....... geez
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Thinking about someone telling me to close my eyes and open my mouth, acting like they're gonna feed me something.
Instead, they just tilt my head back a little and spit in my mouth, pressing against my chin to close it for me.
#like im actually soaked rn#spit is just. a thing okay?#im so fucking feral over this rn i want like. gentle loving degradation#not necessarily degradation i just dont know how to describe it#me being needy and my dom just delighting in how cute i am#asking for things that most people dont even think about#begging them to just. mark me as theirs in as many ways possible#hhhhhhhhhh#anyway#bye
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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i feel like the tumblr obsession w the out of concept excerpt worming its way into (fan)fiction (see: red white and royal blue’s ‘i love you on purpose’ which to me read as a jenny slate reference; the million fanfics with references in the text & also before the text begins) is so neo-latin to me.
#this is why i delight in the quotes that circle around tumblr & the way it finds itself into lit (fanfic and mediocre fiction#— sorry rw&rb)#rambles#i’m in a class w a lot of neolatin and ppl just. quote things bcs they learned the quotes in school and they sound good.#not necessarily bcs of the context#which is i think a stark different to medieval latin but that’s a whole other can of worms#all this to say. v silly way of engaging w lit but i love it a lot actually. makes me giggle. people are so people
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Thank you transwomen (in general but also) for the term "boymode" bc using that terminology for myself as a transguy (so, "girlmode") has been the only way I've been able to aptly and succinctly describe whatever the hell was going on *vaguely gestering to my adolescence from ages 15 to 19* there.
#hope i'm not overstepping or saying some dumb shit LMFAO#but like. speaking v generally. esp in the beginning of unpacking 'oh fuck i. i don't think i'm a girl.'#i found i related a lot more to transfemme experiences of living one way for so long all your life playing A Role#and in some cases leaning heavily into masculinity to 'prove' you couldn't possibly be a woman#than like. so many transmasc experiences i'd see online of like 'oh i always knew.'#and the staples of the experience being like. tomboyish. baggy hoodies. ect.#and like i'm not saying any of that in a derogatory or dismissive way. it's just so much of what i saw as a teen#'researching' being trans so i can be a better 'ally' to my friends and classmates LMFAOO#also this is why the narrative of transmen being 'lost girls' and 'just tomboys' is SOOOO stupid it's funny to me like.#there was a very short stint in middle school where i was more 'tomboyish' in appearance#very quickly it was corrected out of me by the influence of loved ones and myself. that wasn't Really Me#let me tell you. the combination of people pleaser/autistic masking is INSANE esppp when you're in an Evil Setting for it LMFAO#<- evil setting being my specific brand of christianity i was brought up w#but case and point i don't think i was ever actually a tomboy. i was HIGHLY feminine actually.#and i found a lot of delights in feminity too! esppp a love of fashion and cute aesthetics#so like. describing my experience w gender/presentation has always been really difficult language-wise#saying 'when i was a girl' doesn't feel right cause i never was one. just played A Role. i didn't always know though.#i didn't even realize i WAS playing a role. also there were things i genuinely loved and enjoyed associated w feminity.#and saying 'post transition' is weird to me too bc. i'm not? there yet? i'm not done yet.#and any which way of trying to describe 'when i came out' is clunky bc i was always outed/forced out#like. multiple times. even before i had the time to explore it/make sense of it myself.#def rambling but. girlmode and autistic masking are synonyms to me now. it captures everything.#i swear to god the parallels between autism/being trans drive me INSANE to me they are always informing one another.#like i feel like i could write an entire fucking essay about it. if i was an academic i would fucking KILL it
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Does it feel like life is permanently set to extreme hard mode and I still feel super crappy greater than 90% of the time? Yup. But! Emboldened by our relative success with last year's tomatoes, we have given it another go and have added a little pepper plant friend for them. :)
(It may look like the peppers aren't doing as well as the tomatoes, but it cannot be overstated just how bananas this plant's growth chart has been; it's determined to escape the confines of its basket-cage; it has to be constantly rotated so it doesn't completely lose the battle with gravity; I only took this picture the other day and it already looks SO outdated. Can't stop, WON'T STOP.)
#anyways the plan for today is to make some good headway on my 'correspondence' so I guess we'll see how that goes *sheepish laughter*#don't worry I'm not guilting myself over my ridiculously sporadic ability to socially engage -#(not much anyhow I swear!)#- it's just you guys have no idea how much I've MISSED y'all! how I've YEARNED to be able to geek out with you'uns over the blorbos and#their fictional worlds. Like. Please picture me gazing longingly into the middle distance while sorrowfully belting:#🎶 I wanna beeee where the (tumblr) people are. I wanna see... wanna see 'em meta-iiiing! 🎶#🎶 frolicking around in their - what're they called again? - oh right! plot bunnies! 🎶#🎶 incrementally crawling your way through your backlog of content to consume and unexpectedly stumbling your way#into a few new hyper-fixations while the already-there ones continue to rage on you don't get too far... 🎶#🎶 posts (and reblogs and messages and actually finishing a few of your fan creation projects and...) are required for jumping (into#fandoms); dancing (with your friends in gleeful delight over your shared headcanons)! 🎶#🎶 [...] up where they talk (to each other at normal intervals)! up where they (don't) run (out of energy so fast)! 🎶#🎶 up where they stay all day IN THE SUNNNNNNNNN 🎶#🎶 wandering free. wish I could be. PART OF THAT WOOOORLD 🎶#I could go on but I think you get the gist of it 😆#and I definitely know I'm not along in this feeling; at the very least I'm sure that is a familiar tune#in many contexts for anyone else struggling with chronic fatigue/illness among other things#I just wish I could find a better way to intermingle extending kindness and patience to myself and rolling around in fictional character#feelings /together/ with my friends without having to insert such long gaps in between you know?#okay woebegone rambling aside thanks guys for not forgetting about me while I've been gone <3#and let me assure you I haven't forgotten you all either 'cause boy do I need to SHARE SOME STUFF with you!#random musings of a personal nature#I JUST WANNA BE THRIVING HALF AS GOOD AS THOSE TOMATOES YA FEEL ME?
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