#Is he going to expect his wife to support him financially and be a nurse during recovery?

[coochiequeens]

By Reduxx Team November 6, 2023

Editor’s Note: Reduxx has submitted a detailed report on the subject of this article to CyberTip, a leading digital child protective authority which connects reports with local law enforcement. In accordance with our ethical standards, CyberTip was contacted PRIOR to the writing of this article.

A trans-identified male who promotes nudism has been reported to child protective authorities following a disturbing video beginning to circulate on social media showing him exposing his genitals and breasts in the presence of a small child.

The video first began to circulate on November 5. Reduxx is withholding the direct link to the video as the child’s face is not censored.

In the video, an adult post-operative transgender male is seen lounging nude in what appears to be a family residence. The man spreads his legs repeatedly, exposing his surgically-constructed vagina, while a young boy is sitting a few feet in front of him. He then stands to retrieve a trans-pride flag which he holds in front of his body.

Reduxx has identified the male in the video as Marie Willa Bobo-Smith, a nudist activist who resides in Fort Bragg, California.

Bobo-Smith, formerly known as Maurice Smith, has been a pro-nudist activist for a number of years, maintaining a strong presence in the nudist community since 2012.

Bobo-Smith prior to his transition.

Bobo-Smith has maintained a blog titled Simple Naturist for 13 years, regularly posting lengthy diatribes about his belief that public nudity should be made legal and protected by the law.

“As Americans, we live in an insane world, where you can legally carry and conceal a gun, but risk imprisonment should anyone see your genitals,” Bobo-Smith wrote in December of 2012. “We live in a world where children entertain fantasies of killing innocents in video games, but the sight of a nipple is unacceptable and psychologically damaging.”

Bobo-Smith began transitioning in 2018, beginning a hormone regimen. The next year, he launched a GoFundMe campaign requesting donations to help him afford the “gender confirmation surgery” he wanted to undergo with Dr. Marci Bowers in the Bay Area.

Bowers, a trans-identified male, is the current President of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health, and has become controversial for his role in promoting the medical transitioning of children.

An old Vimeo account belonging to Bobo-Smith pre-transition featured videos of the man doing a number of tasks while nude, including cooking, washing his dogs, and cleaning.

But in some of the videos he is in public, such as in one where he is naked while driving, and another while he is pumping gas at a service station.

In 2021, Bobo-Smith participated in a nudist rally in Fort Bragg, giving a speech at the event in which he condemned the stigma surrounding nudity and relating it to an experience he had walking topless following the hormone-induced growth of his breasts.

“Imagine: that as a transgender woman I am the living embodiment of a sexual double standard. Men can walk around top free and post photos of themselves on the internet and when a woman does it, she then becomes a slut, a whore and illegal,” he declared.

Bobo-Smith has been married since 1993, with his wife remaining with him throughout his transition. According to his social media history, he has children and grandchildren.

Over the years, Bobo-Smith has admitted to exposing his children to his genitalia, slamming critics of the practice as close-minded puritans. He insists there are no sinister motives to the practice, and advocates for nudism as a “lifestyle.”

In one post recently shared to his Instagram, Bobo-Smith uploaded a photo of a child’s doll representing a little girl with a penis. Bobo-Smith describes keeping a stuffed animals in his bedroom, along with a child’s doll intended to resemble a little girl with a penis.

“I got to have a great conversation with my grandson [name redacted] this morning. He’s six years old. He finally saw this naked doll sitting amongst our stuffed animals in mine and Marge’s bedroom,” Bobo-Smith describes. “When he saw it, he shockingly exclaimed ‘meemaw!'”

Bobo-Smith then describes a short exchange in which the child says “boys have penises,” to which he responds: “some boys have a penis and some boys have a vulva.”

On TikTok, Bobo-Smith has claimed he also has fostered children, with other “nudists” curiously asking him how he managed to get approval to become a foster parent despite his open nudism.

In the comments from a TikTok video uploaded in May, Bobo-Smith advised another nudist aspiring to be a foster parent that his nudism had been “addressed and resolved” at one point during the fostering process.

While Bobo-Smith has now deleted his TikTok account, Reduxx was able to archive multiple videos Bobo-Smith published following the initial outburst of concern prompted by the footage of him exposing himself to a child.

“People on the bird app formerly known as Twitter seem really shocked by a recent post of mine and asked ‘you mean your family and your friends have all seen you naked?’ Well, yeah. Everyone I know has seen me naked,” Bobo-Smith says. “I see nudity as normal and I do my utmost to show other people that nudity is a normal thing.”

[konstantynowitz]

Noble and Most Ancient House of Black — Headcanons

Pollux Black was thirteen when he had his eldest child Walburga.

Irma was forced to drop out of Hogwarts by her in-laws due to her pregnancy with her daughter.

Because of how young her parents were when she was born, Wally was nursed by Kreacher’s mother during infanthood and early childhood.

Melania Black was not a blood supremacist, nor did she follow the societal standards expected of women at the time.

She was independent in nature and had a mind of her own.

Melania did not wait around for men to tell her what to do and that was probably something that attracted Arcturus.

If you’ve watched the show Versailles then you’d be familiar with Princess Palatine who I’d say has the same personality.

She just gives off that kind of energy, ya know?

Melania was a very worldly woman with a bright mind, which made her intellectually dangerous.

And this discouraged Arcturus’s family from giving their blessing to let him marry her.

This also made Melania quite undesirable amongst other pure-blooded families who didn’t want to take on a bride who could potentially challenge their traditional values and expectations.

Her headstrong personality caused people to perceive Melania as difficult and untamed.

She came from a family of Hufflepuffs and bore their kind-hearted and warm disposition.

Melania refused to conform to the purist beliefs of her in-laws and remained accepting of all blood statuses.

She was against muggle hunting and muggle persecution, which obviously made it hard to be married into the Black family.

It took many years for Sirius II to accept Melania into the family and give his blessing for Arcturus to marry her.

Her own disdain towards the bigotry and racism displayed by her in-laws towards the muggle race was what set her aside from the rest of Black family.

Melania stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of her husband’s relatives and that made her an easy target.

I’m sure on multiple occasions Arcturus’s parents had attempted to convince their son to divorce Melania.

But obviously for Arcturus what they were suggesting was out of the question.

Melania was never truly accepted into the Black family and would always be referred to as the “Macmillan girl” by Hesper Black.

Which upset Arcturus greatly as Melania was his wife and therefore was entitled to the Black family name.

Mel was the favorite grandmother of Sirius and Regulus between herself and Irma.

She was the only one who expressed pride towards her grandson Sirius getting sorted into Gryffindor.

When Sirius ran away, Melania still remained in contact with him and if it wasn’t for his disownment from the family then she would’ve allowed him to live with her and Arcturus.

But Arcturus wouldn’t allow it, saying that Sirius had disgraced the family and their reputation.

Besides Alphard, Mel was the one to financially support her grandson, even when he went to go live with the Potters.

She would also still call on Sirius for weekly tea dates at fancy restaurants or smth and then update Orion and Wally on how their son was doing just to rub it in their face that even though they disowned him they couldn’t keep Melania away from her grandbaby.

Like out of nowhere she would drop a comment about Sirius while crocheting a blanket like: “oh yes, your son is doing quite well, actually. He’s been made head boy, just like you Orion when you were his age.”

Oh those comparisons would strike a nerve for both Orion and Walburga.

Some days they would be upset, almost infuriated to hear of their son; their blood traitor of a son, the one who was as good as dead to them.

On other days — when Melania would tell them about how successful their eldest son had become, the one that ran away and never came back, the one they hoped would come back but never did, their pride and joy, favorite — their hearts would ache with loss and sorrow because all they wanted was for their family to be whole again.

When Melania died she left all of her assets to Sirius.

Walburga despised her mother-in-law for this, it was almost like one last “fuck you” from Melania.

Marius Black was eighteen when he was disowned from the family.

He was closest with his nephew Alphard who at the time was only seven when his uncle was forced to leave home.

Marius was a Squib, so he wasn’t a very valued member of House Black.

In spite of this, his parents kept him around even if his very presence brought them shame.

Oftentimes they wouldn’t even mention that they had a second son, or a third child.

Cygnus II and Violetta had kept their younger son away from the prying eyes of society, nor would they allow him to interact with his siblings much.

Not many people knew that Marius existed besides his relatives.

The only records of Marius that there is exists within some newspaper dating back to 1916 announcing his birth, as well as his identification and registration documents within the Ministry.

What really got Marius disowned from the family was participating in the Muggle Rights Movement and advocating for muggleborns.

He was cast out of the Black family tree and went to go live with his Uncle Phineas who willingly took him in.

Phineas had been disowned for the same reason as his nephew years prior.

Before Cygnus was engaged to Druella, his parents had originally planned to betroth him to his cousin Araminta.

Cygnus had hemophilia due to the Black family’s constant inbreeding.

He was treated as fragile as a child and he was often sheltered because of his condition.

Whenever his cousins came over to play, he couldn’t participate in certain activities such as a simple game of tag because his parents feared that he would fall and hurt himself.

His marriage with Walburga was an abusive one and once she slapped him hard enough that it started up his hemophilia.

It was so bad that he was bedridden for a whole week, half-conscious, and fighting for his life.

In bed, Walburga was top. She would never let herself be dominated by a man, especially Orion.

Their intimate moments together were fickle ones and far from passionate, nor were they very loving.

They never shared a bed together. The both of them had their own separate rooms far, far away from each other.

[tikhanovlibrary]

Gilles, by Pierre Drieu La Rochelle

Pierre Drieu La Rochelle was a french author of more than a dozen novels and numerous essays and poetry collections. A relentless critic of the French Third Republic, he drifted in every political and artistic current of his time, going from surrealism to socialism to fascism, he refused to ever be tied down to any single movement or ideology. As a surrealist, he traveled in the same circles as Louis Aragon, Gaston Bergery, and André Breton, but eventually fell out with the group over a love dispute. As a Socialist, he briefly flirted with pacifism and was involved with early-pan Europeanist movements, that would later go on to influence the founding of the European Union, however he found the Socialism of Paris entirely too Bourgeoisie, and drifted towards more reactionary ideas, eventually publishing a synthesis of his political thought titled Socialisme fasciste. As a collaborator during the German occupation of France, he petitioned for the release of Jean-Paul Sartre (among other intellectuals) from prison, and helped Jean Paulhan escape capture by the Nazis. For La Rochelle, the turbulent politics of his time were subsumed by an aesthetic disgust with bourgeoisie life, and this theme is present in all of his works. At the end of the war, hiding at the house of his friend André Malraux, he committed suicide by swallowing poison.

Best known in the English speaking world for his book Le Feu Follet, which was adopted into an acclaimed French nouvelle-vague film, Pierre Drieu La Rochelle considered the semi-autobiographical Gilles to be his greatest work. The acclaimed literary critic Gaëtan Picon wrote that Gilles “is, without any doubt, one of the greatest novels of the century—and one of those books in which the disarming sincerity of a man rises to the grandeur usually reserved to literary transpositions.”

The novel begins during the First World War, where the hero Gilles returns from the front after being badly wounded, his regiment having been decimated. Penniless, he asks his friends, the wealthy Falkenberg brothers, for help, only to discover that both of them had died. Their sister, Myriam, falls in love with him and helps him financially; although he does not respond to her love, Gilles accepts her support. He even decides to marry her when her father's death makes her a wealthy heiress. The day after the wedding, he leaves her, joins the army again and has a love affair with a nurse, whom he in turn leaves.After the war, Gilles frequented social circles and profited from his ex-wife's money. More or less unwillingly, he is drawn into a plot against the President of the Republic, Morel, after making friends with Morel's son-in-law, Gilbert de Clérences, and meeting Caël, the leader and almost guru of a dandy political group. The ridicule of intellectuals, the grotesquerie of events, the cowardice and demagoguery of politicians—compounded by the departure of Dora, an American girl he loved—leads him to leave France and seek refuge in Algeria. There he meets a simple, wholesome young girl, Pauline, with whom he experiences a true love affair for the first time. Gilles returns to Paris, however. Still disgusted with society and politics, he starts a newspaper and, after 6 February 1934, decided to join the only ideology capable of radically changing society and regenerating France: Fascism. After the death of Pauline and the child she was expecting, Gilles chooses to be alone, and joins Franco's side in the Spanish Civil War.

Despite his immense standing in the French inter-war literary scene, and his close relations with many of the most prominent writers and intellectuals of his time, Pierre Drieu La Rochelle has, because of his politics, been largely ignored by the Anglo literary establishment. His masterpiece, Gilles, has gone untranslated for the last seventy years… until now. Tikhanov Library has released the first three chapters of Gilles on substack, and is releasing the novel in serialized. We are adding new chapters every week, for free, to the public. You can read the first chapter here:

Tikhanov Library is an independent publishing company founded in Lund, British Columbia. To read Gilles and many other books, both reprints and new releases, visit our website at www.tikhanovlibrary.com | Our catalogue includes books by Alexis de Tocqueville, Dimitri Alioshin, and F.T. Marinetti, among other authors. We are constantly updating our catalog with new books and deals.

[privilege-rpg]

JAMES SCHUESTER

☆ FULL NAME: James "Jamie" Vincent Schuester ☆ GENDER: Cisman ☆ PRONOUNS: He/Him ☆ AGE: 37 (July 28th, 1987) ☆ TYPE: Full sibling; solo (open to twin) ☆ HOMETOWN: Columbus, Ohio ☆ JOB: Veterinarian ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Heterosexual ☆ FACECLAIM: Dustin Milligan

ABOUT JAMES

Being the first born Schuester, James always knew that he had large shoes to fill. His parents expected a lot out of him without ever really pressuring him, but he still listened nonetheless. They’d enroll him in acting classes, vocal lessons, dancing lessons and everything in between, hoping that he would follow in Will’s footsteps. James absolutely loved it. He loved being surrounded by music, to watch people move their bodies in sync with a rhythm, the way they brought characters to life. It all fascinated him, and he grew quite fond of the community. The issue, however, was that James wasn’t good at any of it. Will had hoped that the more classes that he took, that this would be an improvement. Unfortunately, that never came. What he had in enthusiasm, he lacked in talent.

James continued doing what he loved, though - he was oftentimes cast as the chorus, or the character that didn’t have a line in the school play. He was rejected, but he didn’t mind - he wanted to be like his father, and he was going to continue working at it. Around the time when James was a teenager, he came to the realization that he just simply had no talent. The firstborn of Will Schuester had zero talent. Embarrassing, but he embraced it anyway. He still saw how music had transformed people, the way his father took so much care in the people he’d taught - and how it could change their lives. He took this knowledge with him, and always had a soft spot for music anyway.

What they didn’t expect was James’ love for animals. While he was trying to connect to music, instead he was connecting with animals. He would bring home different types of animals and try to nurse them back to life. Will and Emma always helped him take these animals to the veterinarian, and watching them bring back to life animals made James realize exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to be exactly like them – he wanted to save animals lives. They weren’t disappointed at all, and they encouraged him to learn more and more, which is why choosing his degree was easy: he was going to become a veterinarian, but more specifically, a surgeon - so he could save their lives.

After college and starting his career, James met Addy Corcoran. The two fell in love quickly, and for a while, their relationship felt like the one stable thing in James’s life. But work became more demanding and he found himself increasingly consumed by work. The long hours started to create a rift between him and Addy. James struggled to separate his professional life from his personal one, and the constant stress led to more and more fights. Despite how much he loves Addy, James finds himself repeating the same mistakes —working too much and not knowing how to balance his career with his relationship.

FAMILY BACKGROUND

The very epitome of theater kid himself, Will Schuester’s life was always going to be surrounded by performance. Unfortunately for him, marrying his high school sweetheart, Terri, turned out to be more sour than sweet, and when their relationship turned toxic, with Terri faking a pregnancy in an effort to keep him around, Will had to give up on his then-dream job of coaching a winning high school Glee Club for free to focus on his main Spanish teaching job. When news of Terri’s fake pregnancy came to light, Will filed for divorce, seeking comfort in the arms of his colleague, the school’s guidance counselor, Emma Pillsbury. The two wed in the year to follow.

Supported by his new wife—who made more than him financially anyway—Will decided to quit his job as high school Spanish teacher, and instead secure a space to open a performing arts studio. The studio and its classes growing in popularity quickly, Will was approached by a production company interested in making a reality show. Soon, The Schue Must Go On, a show focusing on the studio’s child performers with Will the adult face as the main teacher and owner, was born. It was supposed to be something of a filler show, but it gained followers quickly, and soon America was obsessed with watching bratty children compete against each other in their dance, voice and acting classes under Will’s guidance, his family shooting to fame in the blink of an eye.

As parents, Will and Emma can be described best as helicopter parents. They’re very over-protective, and try to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives, despite how busy they are with The Schue Must Go On, which, somehow, is still going strong and has spawned many an off-shoot instalment. Will is an esteemed performing arts coach, and has appeared as a guest judge on various talent shows (AGT, The Voice, DWTS, etc.) alongside his role as head of his studio, and of the Schuester family.

[dickguillotine]

To add to what people have already replied :

I know that in the show Wilson is kinda painted as a manipulative and charming narcissist who has a greed for need, and is an enabler to House because of that. But I think it doesn't necessarily come from a bad place.

He doesn't seem very close to his family. We don't know much about them. Some could argue that it's because he's not the main character but we pretty much know about most of the diagnostic team's families and childhood trauma. From Chase to Foreman to Kutner to Thirteen... So I don't see how Wilson's family history would be irrelevant. He definitely doesn't care enough about them to spend those last 5 months with them however.

I genuinely think he's just a middle child who's lived in the shadow of his two other brothers. We don't know anything about his eldest, but we do know Danny. Danny's mental health was Wilson's responsibility, whether he chose it or his parents chose it for him. When a family has a sick member, the attention is often centered around them. And losing Danny because he ignored his responsibility just one time built a lot of guilt in him.

Then came Sam, and Wilson was supporting her financially during their marriage. He felt responsible of her, and maybe hoped this would solidify their love and marriage.

Everything Wilson does for people is an attempt at an emotional transaction : he helps people, do as they wish and he expects that they love him in return. We often see him chatting with the staff, celebrating the nurses' birthdays... And yet he's still lonely, with only House around him. Sure he's friends with Cuddy, but she's his boss, and he gets along with Thirteen but she's House's employee. Even with Cuddy and Thirteen, he's the one who makes the first step towards them everytime. House is truly the only person who's a constant in his life and who comes towards him naturally.

The truth is Wilson really wished he had people in his life. At the end of season 8, he expresses how he wished he had a wife and kids and is reminded at three 3 different occasions that he only has one person in his life. When he expresses that he thought he'd have a family around him at the end, House calls him out on it. He tells Wilson that this fictional family of his would probably be too busy checking his inheritance to be at his side. In Wilson's case, it would probably be true.

When it comes to House, Wilson likes to take care of him because he needs to take care of someone. It's in his nature to invest his energy and money on someone. House's nature is to take, so he takes whatever Wilson gives him. Wilson pretends to be annoyed by it but he let's it happen because he actually enjoys being responsible. House doesn't actually need his money - he just enjoys being taken cared of (he's sugar babying). I could relate this trait to John House's mistreatment of him but I don't feel THAT Freudian today. I think House says at some point that he's mostly testing Wilson's limits so I'll go with that. They're content with their arrangement.

Wilson is desperate to be liked. He doesn't eat other people's needs because it feeds his ego, he does it because he needs to be loved and he thinks love is transactional. He's just a lonely child desperate for attention and love. He's a background character in everyone's lives, but in House's life he's essential. He knows he's important to House and knows they're codependant. He tries to detach from him many times and fails - and during House's rehab time he understands he's an enabler and he has to work on it on his side. I think even before, when he loses Amber, he realizes it's his own fault for enabling House.

Due to that last point I disagree with the general consensus that Wilson enables House to his benefits throughout all the seasons. They have a toxic relationship but they work on it at the end. It progresses as they learn about their own problematic behaviors. Actually, they reflect each other perfectly, and they call each other out when needed.

Most importantly there's a shift in their dynamics in season 8. Wilson is dying and for the first time it's him who needs House, and it's House who has to care for him. House has nothing to gain from it, he doesn't want to see Wilson die. When faced with death, House is usually in denial, and angry. But for Wilson, he choses to endure. He has to be the selfless one now. It's when House does these things - coming to his transplant surgery, promising to stay until the end - that Wilson experiences true reciprocation. The one thing he's looked for in everyone but House is the only person capable of giving him.

ok i’ve seen people talk about why house needs wilson but haven’t seen much about why wilson needs house, other than maybe a single sentence or “because gay”. so who would like me to elaborate on why house is so fucking important to wilson?

[voicesforbettercare]

Chris T. says:

“Our four-year-old son has a condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), a heart defect that affects blood flow. He has needed medical treatment ever since he was born. He had two surgeries during the first six months of his life, and has a third one coming up in September. We’re hoping that this will be the final surgery.

Having our young son in the hospital in life-threatening condition is stressful enough - and then the bills come in. Even with insurance, our out-of-pocket cost during the first year of his life was around $15,000-20,000. This year, we are expecting more bills and we don’t know how much they'll cost. One time, our son was in the hospital just for an afternoon, and it cost us $2,000. Our most recent visit lasted for 7 days, so when we eventually get that bill, I’m sure it will be significant. Our son is also considered ‘medically fragile’ due to his condition, and had to get monthly shots to prevent a Respiratory Syncytial Virus infection, for six months a year for his first two years, which cost us $500-600 per shot. These costs accumulate, and they are difficult to manage for a middle class family like us.

I gave up my job to take care of our son, and we are just lucky that my wife’s income has been enough to support all of us. If we had needed to keep both of our jobs in order to afford medical costs even with our insurance, our son wouldn’t have been able to spend enough time with a parent and receive proper care at home. We are grateful that we were able to avoid this possibility. But for single-parent families, or families who can’t afford to lose any employer-sponsored insurance plans, this would have been an utterly unrealistic option.

Luckily for him, the survival rates for HLHS these days after surviving the first year of life are around 90%, and we are grateful for the many Doctors, Nurses and Specialists and the amazing medical and scientific advances that are helping our child live a life. But it is sickening to think that there are families out there that will have to go through what we went through without any insurance whatsoever. The right of a newborn to live a full and happy life without bringing financial ruin upon their family should be universal to everyone, not just those that are lucky enough to have an employer who provides enough benefits and income to allow for the lifesaving care and parental love that their child needs. People’s lives should not be left to chances like this.”

[steddieas-shegoes]

Read Supportive Uncle Wayne Series Part 1 first :)

————————————————————————

Eddie and Steve slept for hours, while Wayne sat waiting. He kept a few crossword puzzles by his designated chair for the times he sat with Eddie, but this time, he couldn’t focus on anything but the way Steve and Eddie kept moving closer to each other in small ways in their sleep.

He’d considered waking Steve up a few times just so he didn’t have to watch his back and neck bend at such an impossible angle.

But god, he was resting.

Wayne wasn’t interrupting any sleep that boy got.

But he watched them both curl into each other incrementally, barely moving, yet always closer together every time Wayne looked at them.

Steve’s face was almost completely buried against Eddie’s “good” hip. If you asked Wayne, he didn’t have a good hip, he just had less stitches on one side.

Eddie’s right hand was placed in Steve’s on the bed, and his left hand was holding onto Steve’s hair for dear life. Like if he let go, Steve would disappear entirely.

From what Wayne knew of Steve so far, he wouldn’t be going anywhere unless he was physically forced.

Eddie’s body was relaxed, the drugs constantly flowing through the IV probably keeping him from experiencing any major pain. He had more stitches in his body than a sweater, and Wayne had no idea how he would heal physically or mentally from any of what happened.

But Wayne was honestly more worried for Steve.

Steve, the boy who had been exhausted since he was a small child, the boy who had refused medical care to make sure Eddie wasn’t alone or scared, the boy always secretly ready to let someone down.

He knew Richard Harrington. He knew how much of a showboat he was, how he never did anything unless it benefitted him personally or led to financial gain. Wayne even remembered shortly after Steve was born, he took an ad in the newspaper for a nanny who was willing to work ‘most days of the week and some nights, minimum wage, cooking and cleaning expected.’ Within a week, Richard and his wife Anne, were gone more than they were home.

Wayne wasn’t much for socializing or he probably would have caught Steve out and about with the nanny often. God knows Richard and Anne weren’t going to run errands.

But looking at the young adult in front of him, he had to think maybe it was a good thing Richard didn’t dig his claws in too deep. He knew if he had, Eddie would have been sitting alone right now, and Steve would be at some Ivy League college becoming something he didn’t even realize he didn’t want until it was too late.

Eddie visibly tensed, his body suddenly going rigid.

Steve was awake and fretting over Eddie before Wayne could even stand up from his chair.

“What hurts? Is it your side? I was hurting you wasn’t I? I’m sorry, Eds, really. I didn’t…���

“Steve. Please shut up. I wanted you there.”

Wayne noticed when Eddie spoke, his voice was raspy from disuse. He was still tense, but he was forcing a smile for Steve’s sake.

Wayne wasn’t having that. No matter how much Steve cared about Eddie, and Eddie cared about Steve, he wasn’t about to let either of them lie about their health.

“I’ll go get the nurse.”

Steve and Eddie both turned to look at Wayne when he spoke, cheeks red with embarrassment.

“Oh, didn’t know you were here.”

Eddie was still forcing a smile, but now it was pointed at Wayne like he wouldn’t see how fake it was.

Like he didn’t know all of Eddie’s tells since he was 13 and trying to hide how scared he was about living with him.

Wayne didn’t respond, just left the room to grab Janet, who sat alone at the nurse’s station during calmer periods in the chaos.

He hurried back in while she got the doctor on staff to see that Steve was helping Eddie adjust himself a bit in bed.

“Damn bats, Jesus Christ!”

Eddie let out a loud yelp and Steve froze.

“What was that?”

“What wasn’t it at this point?”

Eddie was breathing heavily, and his heart monitor started beeping more frantically.

“Son, you need to sit still until the doctor gets in here.”

Wayne wasn’t about to watch him hurt himself more and it didn’t seem like Steve knew how to make it better or stop him on his own.

“My side hurts like this.”

“I think your side will hurt any which way you try to be.”

Steve placed a hand on Eddie’s cheek, gently turning his face so he was looking at only Steve.

“You can be still for a minute, right? For me?”

Wayne’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“Yeah.”

Wayne’s jaw was practically on the floor.

He’d been in charge of Eddie for 7 years and had never once been able to get him to listen the first time. Not a single time.

Before he could say anything, the doctor came in, followed by a handful of nurses, including Janet.

Janet sent him a smile, but hurried over to stand next to the doctor at Eddie’s bed.

“Well, Mr. Munson. You sure are lucky.”

“I’ll feel a lot luckier when I’m not in pain.”

“Where does it hurt?”

Eddie glared at the doctor. Steve glared at Eddie.

“Mostly my side. My chest hurts a little and my left hip and leg are sore.”

“Your left side is in pretty rough shape. You’ve got about 298 stitches holding you together.” The doctor checked his pupils and his heart rate before continuing. “Go ahead and start another morphine drip, same dose as before.”

The doctor turned to Wayne.

“He’s probably going to sleep the next dose off over the next 24 hours, so you can head home. We’ll call if he wakes up earlier.”

The doctor turned to Steve, deep frown on his face.

“You, too. He needs rest.”

Steve was refusing to make eye contact with anyone at this point and Wayne was almost certain he knew why.

Steve’s father wasn’t known for being a particularly kind or loving man. One wouldn’t have to think too hard to come to the conclusion that he was harder on his son than anyone else. The doctor was speaking to him in a way that would have made Wayne’s hackles rise for Eddie, and they did for Steve too.

“I think Steve should stay.”

Wayne wasn’t going to let either of his boys go without each other if it meant they’d get some sleep.

“We do recommend that Eddie have very limited visitors.”

“If I may,” Janet spoke up. “Steve’s been here the entire time and it hasn’t affected Eddie’s sleeping. We can’t be everywhere all the time so it would be nice for someone to stay with him and come get us if he wakes up again.”

The doctor gritted his teeth together but gave a single nod before exiting the room. Most of the nurses followed behind while Janet made herself busy playing with the buttons on Eddie’s IV pole.

“Thanks Janet. What’s that doctor’s problem?” Wayne asked as he made his way to the bed.

“He came in while you were downstairs and saw the um, sleeping arrangement. He wasn’t too fond of you seeming so close.”

“We can be more careful,” Eddie mumbled, body slowly relaxing into the bed.

“Or he can just deal with it,” Janet shrugged.

She sent a wink to Steve, then turned to Wayne.

“He should be feeling a lot better now. Right Eddie?”

“This is way better than the stuff I have.”

Wayne shook his head, but couldn’t help but smile at his nephew’s antics.

“I won’t ask questions I don’t want the answer to,” Janet said as she walked out of the room. She turned to wave and then closed the door to give them all some privacy.

Wayne looked down at Eddie.

He was so pale. He’d lost so much weight in the last week, and he barely had any to give to begin with. His hair was dirty and greasy, and despite Steve and Janet giving his face and arms a wipe down, he still had dirt under his nails.

Wayne didn’t know the details of what happened. They said it was earthquake related, but he knew better. He knew if this was just an earthquake, Steve wouldn’t have stood guard by his bed for days on end.

He was just glad Eddie was alive and awake.

He placed a hand on his right shoulder.

“I’m glad to hear your voice, kiddo.”

Eddie’s eyes were glassy and his smile was much brighter than before when he responded.

“Glad you hear my voice, too. Have you met Steve? He’s my boyfriend. Or maybe not? I want him to be though. Do you think he likes me?”

Wayne looked over at a bright red Steve, then smiled down at Eddie.

“I think he likes you a lot, kid. You get some rest. Steve will still be here when you wake up, alright?”

“You too?”

“Sure.”

So Wayne stayed, and Steve stayed. Wayne watched them both as Eddie slept.

Steve didn’t fall back asleep. He looked like he needed to, but any time his eyes started to slip shut, he shook his head and widened his eyes trying to fight it.

“Steve?”

“Yes, sir?”

Wayne watched as Steve’s body curled in on itself defensively.

“None of that. You can call me Wayne.” When Steve nodded, Wayne continued. “Whoever you are to Eddie, I hope you know you’ve got me, okay? I know Eddie must like ya a whole lot for him to say any of what he did regardless of the drugs in his system. And you must like him a whole lot to not leave his side this long. But you gotta get some rest, son.”

“I take naps in the chair sometimes.”

“A nap ain’t rest. Especially not if you’ve been through war.”

“I…”

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sure I shouldn’t know. But I been there. And I’m not lettin’ ya suffer the way I did when I came home.”

Steve’s eyes were watering and Wayne knew if he watched this boy cry, he’d be done for.

So when Steve’s first tear fell, Wayne got up and joined Steve on the other side of the bed, pulling him out of the chair and into his arms.

Steve was injured, and hadn’t had proper medical attention or pain medication, but he ignored it to fall apart in Wayne’s arms.

“That’s alright now. Let it out, son. Let it out.”

Wayne felt a tear fall down his own cheek. He couldn’t have possibly predicted this moment, but he knew he was meant to be in it.

He was meant to be here with Steve, providing something the boy needed for a long, long time.

He was meant to be someone for Steve the same way he was meant to be someone for Eddie.

[sabineelectricheart]

Adapting to a New-Born

Summary: Eugene and Aurora’s first child has just been born, but things have not been going well in their relationship.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 1000

Notes: I don’t know, I think I fumbled a bit on the gender roles of this sort of society. Even if the narrative points to women working and inclusion of homoaffective couples, it is all Regency on other points, so I’m a bit unsure of it all.

“Oh, how nice of you to join us.” Aurora says sarcastically when Eugene arrives at home much too late at night.

Once he looked out the window of the library and saw that the sun was long departed the sky, he knew that there would be trouble with his wife at home. Part of him wanted to dally somewhere, to try and avoid for as long as he could having to face what certainly was a row, but he knows that she would lay into him worse if he arrived any later, let alone smelling like a pub.

He was not expecting to find her awake, though. He nurtured the hope, perhaps foolishly, that the gods would make him this kindness. She is always complaining about how tired she is, after all.

No such luck once again. A dispute would have to be held.

The lady, who sat on his reading armchair, shifts their new-born son as she finishes feeding him, pulling her nightgown back up to cover herself.

Normally, a nanny and a wet-nurse would be there to help her, but with little to no support from the Hartmann family, they could not afford the wages. They had a single maid and cook, and it would have to suffice. The shame she felt about nursing her own child would only serve to increase her frustrations.

“I am sorry Aurora, but you know I cannot take my watch into the library. I completely lost track of time.” He calmly explained.

Aurora is having none of it and snaps.

“Oh, poppycock, Eugene!” She scoffs. “You know very well that this story of yours is just a bad excuse. Do yourself a favour and just admit that you would rather be at the university than here taking care of your family.”

They had not planned any of it. They had not planned to get married, lest of all to conceive. Their son is the result of the failure of improper contraceptive medicines that she took. Since her parents’ bad financial situation prevented her to consult with the medics she was used to, she had to find the formulas on the back market.

Taking faulty medicine was not much of a problem, since it was mostly a precaution anyways. However, soon after their graduation, Eugene and Aurora decided to become intimate, and then every time they were together was an unwitting game of roulette.

Eventually, it landed on zero.

No one in their right mind plans a baby out of wedlock, especially in amongst the gentry, but they and their families agreed that they were keeping the baby. They moved in together, got married in a rushed ceremony, and it was consummated.

Only a few months later, though, they definitely are not in that typical blissful newlywed phase.

“Aurora, you know that this is not true.” He tiredly argues. “I do not understand how you expect me to be able to perfectly balance work with our family already. We have only been parents for a month, it is going to take time.”

His wife rolls her eyes. “It should not be that hard, Eugene. It should be very clear which of those two things is the priority.”

“So, what exactly do you want?” He snaps back at her. “You want me to quit the courses at the university? Do you want me to beg my parents for some more money? Do you want to move back to your father’s home?”

The woman rolls her eyes. “That is not what I said.”

“Then say whatever you have to say. Stop talking in fucking riddles!”

He does not mean to raise his voice at her, but their relationship has been tense lately.

Aurora clenches her jaw.

“Don’t make me say something I’m going to regret.” She retorts after several moments of tense silence.

“Go ahead, lady wife. Tell me all about how you regret having been married to me!” Eugene sneers.

Aurora stands from the armchair, stalking away to the nursery without another word.

*_*_*_*_*

After the shouting match, Eugene takes a cold bath to calm himself down.

He lightly bumps his head against the cool tiles. Stupid. So stupid. Why did he do that? Why did he taunt her with the possibility of a separation?

Balancing being a family father and an academic is harder than he expected, and that is already taking into account that he is usually very good at being an academic. In fact, perhaps this is exactly the issue. With his crippling fear of failure, it just felt safer to focus on the role he’s sure to succeed in.

However, that is not fair to his son or his lady wife, and that is a betrayal of the responsibility he holds over their lives and the love he feels for them both. He is willing to do whatever it takes to not lose his family.

Aurora still has not come to bed by the time he finishes his bath. Eugene throws on his nightshirt, making his way to his son’s room.

The boy is sound asleep in his crib. The older man approaches, gently running his thumb over his soft cheek.

“Daddy loves you, and I promise I am going to be the father you deserve.” He vows quietly.

He steps away from the crib, approaching the nursing chair which his wife is curled up in, seemingly asleep.

Eugene crouches before her, peering into the closed eyelids.

“Aurora.” He calls, to no response. “Come on, I know you are awake.”

“I do not want to talk to you, Eugene.” Aurora insists, eyes still closed.

She looks absolutely exhausted, and he feels another pang of guilt.

“We have to talk. One of the most important rules of marriage is not to go to sleep angry.” Eugene responds, lifting her into his arms, taking her spot on the chair and placing her in his lap. “I love you, Aurora, and I am sorry. I promise I am going to do better by you.”

*_*_*_*_*

Crème de la Crème Masterlist

[ootori-sibs]

Through the eyes of the patriarch

1 - The proposal

Tw: death (mentioned) (not main character)

Yoshio Ootori had four children, one daughter and three sons. All of his children were wonderful, he was so very proud of them all. High society from all of the world could see how the Ootori children were a cut above the rest, they were Yoshio's magnum opus, his life's work. His company was important to him, of course it was- but his children were what he was most proud of.

Yuuichi, his eldest son, the dark prince. He was the sweetheart of high society and the most intelligent young man Yoshio had ever known. He'd gotten through medical school early and taken up a position as Yoshio's right hand man fairly quickly. He was the heir to both the company and the Ootori name, the young man would eventually become patriarch of the Ootori family and Yoshio couldn't be prouder. He was an expert when it came to getting people on his side and didn't even need to turn to blackmail or any sorts of things like that- despite being more than capable of doing so.

Fiyumi was his darling daughter, she had a husband now and was happily providing Yoshio with grandchildren now. Yoshio deeply regretted the way he'd treated her, and was working on making that relationship better. She was a wonderful young woman, looking so much like her mother and having the same spitfire attitude. She was just as intelligent as her brothers; having gone through school with straight A grades and proceeding to get qualified to practice as a nurse- even after all that, she was now considering becoming a surgeon as well. On top of being shockingly intelligent and determined, she was exceedingly compassionate. Yoshio could remember seeing her rush to her youngest brother's side at a moment's notice, comforting him over the smallest mishap… he couldn't say it hadn't made him feel inferior. As their father, wasn't that supposed to be his job? Although he supposed that job belonged to their late mother, and without her, Fiyumi seemed to have taken a maternal role in little Kyoya's life. It was incredible how she'd done that, pushing away any professional help offered and still managing to get straight As all throughout school.

Akito was the third child, second son and the boy you would later become Yuuichi's right hand man. Still in university, the boy was just as intelligent as his elders, although he lacked both common sense and manners. It was clear the boy was rebelling, because as much as he still got perfect grades, he liked to attend parties with the commoners at his university, and openly drink on top of that. Yoshio was… disapproving but definitely not disappointed, as long as Akito kept his grades up- then Yoshio's only qualm would be one of health and image. The Ootori's had always had issues with anger, but Akito seemed to inherit the brunt of it, flying off the handle at the smallest thing. Yoshio had provided him with counselling, and it definitely worked but he still could get a little violent when violence really wasn't called for. Yoshio was, however, incredibly proud of how far he'd grown since starting counselling at age nine.

Then, there was Kyoya. The youngest, the baby of the family, the shadow, the black sheep of the family. Kyoya was… different from his brothers, Yoshio couldn't quite put his finger on why. Kyoya got the same perfect grades as his siblings, he was the exact same master manipulator as his brothers, he even looked the same as his brothers. Maybe it was that little club Kyoya helped run, Yoshio definitely didn't approve of it; all that running about and serving ladies, flirting with them no less! It was more or less a more innocent version of offering services, and Yoshio could not stand for his son participating in such behaviour. Although… Kyoya had made friends, that was something the boy had always struggled with. Yoshio was proud of that at least, not to mention Kyoya was showing off his financial prowess, he was the only thing keeping that damned club afloat. It was impressive, but even more impressive was the way Kyoya had snatched the company from under his feet, then thrown it right back in his face. Yoshio had never been prouder of Kyoya then the moment he'd realised Kyoya had been the one to do that to him, that Kyoya had found something more important than the family company.

"How do you do it? You're so affectionate towards your son, I can't even seem to smile at mine."

A laugh, Souh had chuckled at him, pouring another glass of wine for himself, "you flatter me Yoshio, I'm not half as affectionate with Tamaki as you seem to think. I mean, I couldn't even let him call me father at the festival!"

"Well you weren't there as his father, you were there to be the chairman, you couldn't waste your time playing happy families when you had the entire festival to watch over."

The laughter stopped, Yuzuru took a sip of wine before putting the glass down. He frowned, staring at the newton's cradle on Yoshio's desk, "listen, do you hear yourself speak? Spending time with your children isn't wasting it, they shouldn't be second to your job."

"I know that, I'm not an idiot. I just think if you were on duty then there's nothing wrong with being a little more professional than you would usually. My children understand they need to behave professionally when we're networking, isn't the festival just a networking event after all?"

Yuzuru nods thoughtfully, tilting the wineglass slightly, watching the liquid swirl. Yoshio quietly took a sip of his whiskey, he'd always been more of a drinker then Souh. "I suppose you're right, but I still think that your problem is acting too professionally, I don't think I've ever seen you do anything casual. I mean, even right now, when we're just relaxing, we're both still wearing suits and you haven't even taken your jacket off nor loosened your tie."

"I prefer it tight." Yoshio glanced away, understanding that this wasn't the point, he'd seen it in all his children. The lack of ability to turn off 'business mode', staying fully professional constantly. None of them ever learnt how to be casual, and Yoshio supposed that was his fault. To be fair to him, though, he'd never learnt it himself, although maybe he shouldn't have tried to imitate his own parents' parenting strategy if it had turned out the villain of high society he was. Although he supposed at least part of the burden had fallen to his wife, that woman had failed just as much as he had. It was merely Yoshio's duty to pick up the pieces, alone.

"Old friend… you haven't changed a bit have you?" Yuzuru reached over, putting a hand on Yoshio's shoulder, Yoshio had to bite back the instinct to flinch back, wondering if his children were the same. "They aren't you, remember that Yoshio, they have different needs and are in a different situation then you were. They don't have your parents to raise them, you know what they do have?"

"What..?"

"They have you, Yoshio. You're their father, you need to support them. What were you like at each of their ages? They're not like you are they?"

"No," Yoshio finally admitted, sighing, "they're not, they're so much better." His children were so much better people then he was, they had relationships that exceeded mere business deals, they could give without expecting anything in return. They were… people, something Yoshio had always failed to be.

"I wouldn't say that, I'd say they're just different people… do you remember being each of their ages?"

He nodded, finishing his whiskey and pouring a second glass. Yuzuru smiled at that, "remember what you wanted more then anything?"

Yoshio recalled Yuuichi's determination to gain more and power sway over the company and smiled fondly, "power…" he remembered Fiyumi's care and affection to everyone she met, the way she worked so hard to be what everyone wanted, "perfection…" then there was Akito, the one who rebelled and was quite clear in his attempt to piss Yoshio off, "freedom…" was that not what he wanted? To be apart from the family? Finally, there was Kyoya, and Yoshio wasn't sure of what Kyoya wanted at all, "..." he sighed, downing his glass of whiskey in one. "I don't know what they want, they're kids, they don't know either."

Yuzuru frowned, crossing his arms, "Yoshio," his tone was stern, no one had taken that tone with him since he was a child, it certainly made him sit up, "you can't just give up because you don't understand what your kids need. I know what Tamaki wants, and I know he's a lot more open then your children, but you know what Tamaki also is? He's best friends with Kyoya, I can tell you what your youngest wants." He sipped his wine, observing Yoshio's shock, and Yoshio was sure as hell shocked. How hadn't he thought of that? He supposed he hadn't assumed Kyoya would ever be so open with anyone. Yuzuru spoke again, placing the wine glass down, "Kyoya wants your praise and affection, that's all he's ever wanted. It's quite obvious, it's what any child would want from their father. Didn't you want that from your own parents when you were younger?"

"I try not to reminisce, it wastes time." He glanced away, "I don't believe the boy needs affection, he's seventeen. He should be focused on his studies," he paused, realising they were going in circles, he sighed, "even if you were right, he's a little too old for that now, isn't he? What am I supposed to do?"

"Well you should at least tell him you're proud of him."

"If I say that then he'll get lazy, he'll have nothing to work for."

"If you think that your praise is your son's only motivator, then you're more conceited then I thought." Yoshio had never heard Souh sound so cruel before, it almost made him sound like Shizue. He sighed, surprised by how tough his friend was being, but understanding why. Yuzuru was right, what Yoshio had said was incredibly self centered, and Yoshio already knew Kyoya had found something he cared about more. What Yoshio was more worried about, was that he had no idea how to express how much he loved his son.

"My mistake, that wasn't the correct thing to say." He admitted his fault, staring into the bottle of whiskey, watching the liquid sparkle in the light. "How would you recommend I go about it?"

"Just show him you've been thinking about him; maybe get the cooks to make his favourite food if you've noticed him looking extra tired, you could buy him something if you see it and think of him, you could ask him how school's going or complement his abilities, all you really have to do is care about him."

Yoshio nodded, understanding now, "so, all I have to do is give him attention really?" He hums in thought, "I have been considering finding him a wife, everyone else his age has a fiancée by now."

Well not everyone, but Yoshio had always considered that the best way for Kyoya to be useful, not to mention one of Kyoya's best friends from elementary was engaged by age five- Yoshio could recall Kyoya telling him how disgusting it was that his friend had a girlfriend- kids were so cute with what they found gross.

"A wife?" Yuzuru raised an eyebrow, "now Yoshio, you know I hate to make an assumption, but are you sure he's of that persuasion?"

"What do you mean?" Yoshio frowned, looking at his friend in confusion, he didn't quite understand what Yuzuru was getting at.

"I thought he was, you know…" he held up his hand, his wrist going limp, Yoshio just stared at him blankly, what on earth..? Yuzuru continued, "you know... playing for the other team? A friend of Dorothy?"

"Who's Dorothy?"

Souh sighed, "gay, Yoshio, your son is gay."

"Gay? As in homosexual?" Yoshio didn't think he'd ever met any of them, he supposed that it would explain the strange difference between Kyoya and the other children. It was a strange thing to think about, that his child was so different from himself. "I suppose I'll have to find him a husband then," it wasn't like Yoshio had any issues with it, he was just a little surprised.

"Well I'm not certain," Yuzuru clarified, ever the man to jump to conclusions, "I just, the way he looks at Tamaki…" he trailed off, clearly recalling something. Yoshio thought about that, Kyoya had risked doing something that he would disapprove of- and Kyoya certainly wasn't like Akito… was it because of the Souh child? As much as he allied himself with Yuzuru, Yoshio didn't trust that Tamaki boy as far as he could throw him- and Yoshio couldn't throw for shit. "Oh!" Yuzuru snapped him out of his thoughts with that exclamation, "Yoshio! I've just had the most wonderous idea!"

Huh? Oh. Oh no. "Absolutely not." Yoshio knew exactly what Yuzuru was thinking and he had to put his foot down, crossing his arms and frowning.

"Why not? Tamaki's bi."

"You've seen the kind of club your son thinks is acceptable. No offence Yuzuru but your son is definitely a bad influence on Kyoya. I cannot imagine him being loyal, or respectful for that matter."

Yuzuru seemed offended at that, "Yoshio! My boy hasn't done anything wrong! There's nothing wrong with a little harmless conversation, it's like social networking but for kiddies!"

"The children are more than capable of networking like normal people, your son has been seducing every girl in that school, I'm not letting him turn his romancer eyes towards my youngest." He turned away from Yuzuru, sighing quite heavily.

"Tamaki isn't like that!" Yuzuru seemed determined to defend the boy, Yoshio could respect that he supposed, "if you dislike my son so much, why did you tell Kyoya to befriend him?"

"Business relations." It was simple, wasn't it? It made sense for children of powerful businesses to befriend each other, it was more effective than charming the adults- though Yoshio supposed he'd call Yuzuru a friend at this point.

"And you think it'll make for good business relations to insult my heir like that?"

"I'm not insulting him, don't take everything so personally, Yuzuru. I was merely expressing my concern, I don't want Kyoya to get hurt, he's surprisingly fragile you know."

"Fragile..?"

"You should have seen him after his mother's funeral; crying, screaming, he bit me twice… then he refused to eat, he barely slept…" Yoshio frowned, the memories of his tiny son, Kyoya had only been seven at the time, but still… "he didn't understand the situation… he's always been fragile."

"Yoshio…" Yuzuru's tone had become soft, slow, Yoshio hadn't heard a tone like that in a long time. He realised that this was the first time he'd brought up his wife's death to anyone outside of the topmost members of the Black Onion squad. The self defense mechanisms kicked in and Yoshioed tenses up, shooting back a soul-shattering glare at poor Souh.

"Don't you dare patronise me, Souh."

Yuzuru made a sound not unlike a kicked hound, shrinking back into his seat and finishing his glass of wine. He put the glass down and sighed, muttering to himself, "still a sore subject, alright then…" he offered a hesitant smile, and Yoshio felt what must have been a pang of guilt, maybe, "do you feel better now, did that help?"

...it had actually, Yoshio realised he felt a lot more relaxed now… huh. He sighed, nodding, not wanting to speak. Yuzuru smiled, he was incredibly patient and Yoshio respected the hell out of that. "So, we've discussed your doubts about Tamaki, I don't really have any doubts about Kyoya other then the fact that he might murder everyone in their sleep- although that mostly due to the good ol' Ootori brand thousand yard glare- which is like a thousand yard stare but evil." He laughed at his joke, Yoshio hadn't been aware of this glare that apparently the entire family had- he wondered how many people they'd unintentionally terrified like that…

"But yeah! We've gone over the cons, how about the pros, because there is a lot."

"Hm," Yoshio nodded, agreeing, "business relations for one, but also they're already friends, it would be convenient."

"Very!" Yuzuru nodded along, smiling, "and I'm telling you, Yoshio, I'm telling you that Kyoya absolutely has a crush on my boy, it's the most adorable thing I swear. The way he looks at him? I don't think Tamaki's even noticed- you'll be doing Kyoya a favour."

Well he's right, Kyoya would never risk such good business relations for his own feelings, Yoshio could admit that it may have been his fault for drilling such importance of relations into the boy. "I suppose you're correct, it seems like a perfectly good option," Yuzuru seemed quite happy at that statement, but Yoshio was in no way finished, "however, I will be setting some adamantine ground rules and if not I then his brothers. Are we in agreement, Souh?"

Yuzuru was grinning now, "of course Ootori, my old friend. This is one of our best ideas yet," he held out a hand for Yoshio to shake, composing himself into a more professional state of posture, "is this a deal, Ootori? Am I making a deal with the devil here?"

Oh, oh Yoshio loved it when people referred to him as the devil, it made him feel so powerful, and like his own father. He often wondered if that was how his children thought about him. He took Yuzuru's hand shake, a smile playing on his own lips- of course he was still himself, so it was more of a sneer, but Yuzuru would understand. "Better the devil you know, Souh."

[simpingforcadbury]

Chocolate and Floss of the Non-Fairy Variety

23. Parenthood (1976)

Leaning into Willy, Kristie rested her back into his chest as she held their crying newborn close. From behind her, Willy preoccupied the grasping fingers of their daughter, cooing soothingly as his wife prepared to nurse her for what must have been the 20th time that day.

Supported and sandwiched between her child and her husband, Kristie’s frustration from her untimely waking ebbed slowly away once the baby began to suckle with wanton abandon. The sudden quiet was like heavenly relief and before long, the tiny terror had begun snoozing almost as soon as she’d finished feeding. It never failed to amaze Willy to see how quickly she had turned peaceful once she was fed. “Just look at her, she’s very no nonsense isn’t she?”

“That she is. You would never guess that she was screaming loud enough to bring down the ceiling. It’s like we’ve thrown a bucket of water over a fire honestly.”

Once they were certain she had drifted off, Willy somehow climbed out of bed like an overgrown spider, trying his best not do disturb the infant sleeping happily in Kristie’s warmth. Fetching a towel smothered in her scent, he motioned for her to pass her to him. “I’ll tuck her back in.”

“Thank you, Willy,” she sighed gratefully as she carefully handed her off to him. “I don’t know where I’d be right now without you.” Looking after their child was like running a never ending circus juggling act. Between her attention hungry daughter, her fluctuating hormones and the daily tasks she had to complete, Kristie was utterly exhausted.

“Don’t thank me, you carried her for 9 months and pushed her out of you. I can’t even begin to imagine how tired you must feel. Parenthood really doesn’t stop powering on. I’ll always be here to love and support you, no matter what happens.”

He gave Kristie a chaste kiss on the cheek before going to the bassinet in the corner of the room, and laying the tiny tot down lovingly in the crib, checking once and twice and three times to make sure she was properly swaddled, before heading off to the kitchen to fetch them both a glass of water.

She felt eternally grateful and thankful for the fact that she had a partner who loved her even through the trials they were facing and that they were in a position of financial security that allowed them both to tend to their child wholly while taking parental leave from their work.

Willy was just as involved as she was, taking care their daughter and picking up any errands and chores around the house to alleviate the burden on her shoulders. Never once did he put her down over trivial issues or set up expectations for her to meet. Instead he remained her greatest cheerleader and teammate, encouraging her and helping out where he could.

Every pervasive thought she had that he would eventually leave or become emotionally distant, he put to bed unknowingly with this optimism and continued commitment.

She nearly burst into tears when he returned through the bedroom door, two glasses in hand and his face crumpled. “What’s got you feeling so glum, darling?” He always knew how to read her so well.

Kristie could feel the dull tap of glass on wood as he set down the water, the feeling of the mattress sinking in beside her as he climbed back in by her side, holding her close to him.

There was no point to holding her emotions back and she found herself silently crying into his shoulder, unashamedly letting go of all the stresses that plagued her while he comforted her.

“I just feel so overwhelmed and tired and worried all at the same time!” She wailed quietly in exasperation.

“My body hurts all over and I’m just not feeling myself and I don’t know why. I keep wondering when it’ll all get better. And hearing you say those things makes me feel valued and wanted. I feel more than blessed to have you as my husband and I’m so glad to have her too. You’ve been my side through thick and thin, you never question me about the way I look and when I can’t get things done on time, you help do them for me. I just love you so much. That’s all.” She ended lamely, heaving through half breaths and blushing as her sudden embarrassment from her breakdown showed through.

“You’re going to be alright. I think you’re being too harsh on yourself. Everyone has their breaking point. It’s a time of great change for both of us, and even moreso for you.” He reminded her thoughtfully as he rubbed her back soothingly. “And I would be a terrible husband if I didn’t even attempt to understand and support you emotionally through this time.”

“We should take a break, even if it’s just a couple days off. It will do us both good. You can’t stretch yourself too thin, or you’ll break.”

He could feel her about to protest. Kristie was always fiercely protective of their child, even insisting that the bassinet be installed in their room, ‘just in case’ there was something wrong and she needed them. And he could understand her fear too; she had carried her for 9 months and even before she was born, she had been paranoid about the what if’s that could hurt them.

“I don’t know, Willy. As much as I’d like a holiday right now, I don’t particularly like the idea of leaving her for somebody else to look after.”

“Maybe we could ask your parents? They love seeing her, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to watch her for a few days.”

“They’re old, I really don’t want to burden them with the extra responsibility. Waking up at 2 in the morning to feed her isn’t exactly a pleasant experience.”

“You never know if you don’t ask. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. We can prepare bottles and food ready to go. Please, I really think you need this break more than anything right now.”

She hesitated, thinking it over. “Alright. I’ll ask them, but if they say no, I’m not compromising on hiring a babysitter.”

“I’m sure they’d jump at the chance to spend more time with her. They’re practically visiting here almost everyday anyways.”

“Mm, maybe.”

“We’ll walk through this together, no matter what.”

Back to masterlist

[incredihelen]

HELEN PARR. // FORTY-FOUR. // WIFE & MOTHER. // MAGICAL. // ORDER MEMBER & “REAL ESTATE AGENT.”

To Helen, it feels like she’s been so many different people over her forty years - though she’s always been the same person to her core, life events have shaped her so differently from who she used to be. Her younger self wouldn’t even recognize the woman that she spent so many years being.

Having a family wasn’t something she dreamed about the way younger girls did. Not to say she didn’t want them or refused to entertain the idea of having kids one day - but there were always just bigger and more important things in her life to focus on than that. As a kid she imagined herself doing extraordinary things. Of course she knew magic was forbidden and she could never actually use her powers, but maybe that would change one day. She didn’t necessarily dream of revolution to bring magic back to the city - but she did hope that maybe one day she could use her abilities for the better good. 

Though as she grew up, she also grew out of that notion and focused more on what she actually could legally do to help others. Which was where nursing came in. It wasn’t glamorous and didn’t use her powers at all, but it was a way she could help everyone that may need it. It was something Helen knew she could be good at. So she dived into her studies and set her eyes steadily on this new goal. 

Until she met Robert Parr. The two hit it off right away, and Helen found herself finally having those dreams of settling down, getting married, and starting a family that she never had before as a kid. Of course, she didn’t expect it to come so fast. But when Bob proposed during the start of her sophomore year, Helen couldn’t find it in herself to say no - even if it did seem to be a bit rushed. She loved Bob, wanted to have her forever with him, and anyway it wasn’t like they had to get married right away. They could have a long lasting engagement - wait until she finished up school before officially tying the knot. Or at least, that had been her plan. 

But when she found herself pregnant at twenty everything changed. Her whole life was derailed. From the beginning her parents had never been the most supportive of her relationship with Bob. They thought him to be lacking in ambition and drive, but they accepted it when they were simply dating. Once the engagement came around, their disapproval was well known - but they had hoped Helen would see reason before actually committing herself so seriously. When their daughter came home announcing she was pregnant… well that was where they drew the line. They urged her to rethink things, to imagine what that man would really be like as a father, to think of her future. A threat was made clear - if Helen were to stay with Bob and have the child with him, she would lose the support of her family. It was a rough few days after that night, not because she was unsure what to do, but because she instantly knew what her decision would be the moment her parents made their ultimatum. Losing the support of her family was hard - but there was no way she was going to let go of this child or Bob. 

Without her parents’ support anymore, Helen lost almost everything. Not just her family but also her financial stability, her insurance, her support system and safety net. So she dropped out of school, deciding to stay focused on her family instead (in reality she no longer could afford it, nor would she have the time to juggle classes and taking care of a newborn - but it sounds better to say she did it purely for her family). Without the timeline or pressure of school weighing over her anymore and with the need to get Helen on someone’s insurance quickly before the baby bills started racking up - she and Bob were married. They moved in with Bob’s parents for a year, until he graduated school himself and got a job of his own. Her new in-laws were everything Helen’s own parents weren’t. Supportive, loving, and honestly most importantly - simply there. There for the two young newlyweds turned parents that had no clue what in the world they were doing. Without their help, Helen doesn’t know how they would have survived those first two years with Violet. Even after Bob got his own job after graduation and they found an apartment of their own, taking care of a baby was overwhelming in a way Helen hadn’t been fully prepared for. But the Parrs were there for them and helped in every way and chance they could.

It took about a year and a half before Helen finally felt like she had her head on straight again and was back in control. She was even thinking about going back to school again, with the help of her mother-in-law to look after Violet. But then a bout of sickness hit her. Nothing too ridiculous or intense, but familiar in a way that made her stomach drop with an equal amount of dread and excitement. She kept her suspicion to herself for a few days, but sure enough after a handful of grocery store tests and a trip to the doctors just to be positive… it was confirmed. Helen was pregnant again. 

Having already had one baby, this wasn’t as earth shattering news as her first pregnancy had been, but it still certainly wasn’t planned. And it threw off any idea she had of returning back to school or finding a life outside of her little home and family. But when she saw the excitement on Bob’s face and the joy that her in-laws had at the news - Helen couldn’t find it in herself to care anymore. A small part of her may have mourned the future she had always dreamed of slipping away once more, but that’s not something she’ll ever admit. If anyone asked, this was the life she wanted and she was absolutely perfectly content with it.

And she was - content, that is. Even years later when another unplanned pregnancy rocked the Parrs world. Helen was nearly thirty, her daughter was in her preteen years and her son was close to entering middle school, and suddenly another baby was on the way. It was a complete accident, but it was the first of her pregnancies that Helen actually felt prepared for. And she was happy. She truly was. She continued to stay at home for another three years with the kids, fully planning to stay on this path - until she was approached with an offer. 

An invitation to join an underground organization was sent out to the Parr family. At first Helen assumed it was for her husband, but when it became clear that they were more interested in herself than Bob… it was like all of Helen’s old dreams came rushing to the surface in one tidal wave flush. There was a lot of discussion that went through making the decision, but finally Helen agreed and joined. It was hard, going from being with her kids every single day nearly twenty-four/seven to working a more than full time job… but not a day goes by where Helen regrets joining the order. Finally it feels like she really has found her complete place in the world - with both her family and her job.

Helen comes from a very conservitive type family. Her parents believed in a lot of things that she herself never prescribed to - expectations of what it meant to be a respectable member of society, standards for who was or wasn’t worth their time. It always had to do with status, of course. It was why they never approved of their daughter falling for the nobody Robert Parr - a boy with no ambitions or real drive to create a prosperous life for their Helen. They wanted their little girl to marry a lawyer or a doctor - someone that actually meant something to society. Not a marketing and sales major with no prospects of offering the world anything special. 

As a child, Helen was strictly instructed to keep her powers to herself. Not only because of the laws - but also because her parents were embarrassed by it. They didn’t want to be seen as odd or make any kind of scene or fuss. So Helen stayed silent, only telling a select few people over the years her secret. 

For years she felt ashamed of her powers, keeping it a secret because she couldn’t dare to allow anyone else to know. But in high school her feelings began to change - she started enjoying her powers and taking pride in them. She still kept it a secret, of course, but the reason became more so because she wanted to follow the law than obeying her parents. 

It was Bob who really and truly got her to realize just how amazing her powers were. He taught her that she was special and should rejoice in that. He was more willing to push the limits of what was and wasn’t acceptable to do in public, and it was always Helen reeling him back in and keeping him in place. They’re a good balance to each other when it comes to dealing with their abilities. And in a lot of other things in life as well. It’s why they’re so perfect together.

She was a cheerleader for a long time. Did gymnastics for multiple years as well, but once she started showing too much “talent” in it - her parents pulled her right out. Of course it would be amazing to have an Olympic gymnast for a daughter, but allowing that left too many chances of Helen’s powers being discovered and they couldn’t have that. So cheerleading it was. She stuck with it through younger grades all the way to high school and even college.

Her cover for working in the order is that she’s a real estate agent. She tells people she did online classes for it before Jack-Jack was born and that it is mostly an office based position, which is why she rarely shows houses or is seen doing actual real estate work out in town. 

Met Bob when she was 18 - a freshman in college. Started dating almost right away. Got engaged when she was 19. Had Violet when she was 20, Dash when she was 22, and Jack-Jack when she was 29. Joined the order 10 years ago. 

Loves her family a lot in case that wasn’t clear. Yes she had other dreams before them and has more going on in her life right now than just them - but she would drop heaven and earth for them.

Unsure of her sexuality, but also married and not bothered by the fact that she doesn’t know what her label really is. She thinks she’s likely as into women as she is men - but has no intention of finding out for certain even since ya know.... married. 

Favorite color is red.

[thedistrictroleplay]

ID:

Name | Nickname | Age:  Briar Beckett | Briar | 30 Birthday | Astrology:  May 19, 1991 | Taurus Pronouns | Sexual identity:  She/her | Lesbian  Birthplace | Raised:  San Diego, CA  Residence:  Columbia Heights  Occupation:  Private Detective  Faceclaim: Conor Leslie

TRIGGER WARNINGS: overdose tw, drugs tw, infidelity tw, homophobia tw

TIMELINE: 

1860s- Hawthorne Vineyards and Hawthorne Winery are founded in Northern California.

1980s- Dorothy “Dottie” Hawthorne marries David Beckett. Her family’s winery money pays for his med school tuition and supports the family while he’s an intern. They move to San Diego for David’s school and work.

1990s- Briar is born in May 1991. Her secret half-sister is born in April 1992. Her younger sister is born in March 1993. Briar grows up to resent the outdated and hyper-feminine lifestyle her mother pushes on her while her father is physically and emotionally absent.

2000s- Briar is accepted into Georgetown University, which allows her to escape some of Dottie’s control, at least during the school year. She majors in English, planning on being a novelist. She gets her first girlfriend but keeps it a secret for the sake of keeping the family peace.

2010s- The Hawthorne wine empire celebrates 150 years of existence with a huge party at the Hawthorne vineyards. Briar waits until the last tuition check clears and she graduates before coming out as a lesbian. The Becketts basically disown her. She moves to DC permanently and starts working in a PI firm as a receptionist. Her sister overdoses around the same time, but thankfully survives. Briar eventually gets her PI license and opens her own agency in Columbia Heights.

2020s- Briar is digging into her parents’ past (hoping it will help her reclaim the remains of her trust fund) when she learns of the existence of her half-sister. Confronting her parents, she learns Dottie helped David conceal the child’s existence. She tries to learn as much as she can about her half-sister, debating whether she wants to meet her.

BIOGRAPHY:

Briar Rose Elizabeth Beckett was born on an unusually stormy night in San Diego. There had been a drought for several weeks now, and the sky finally opened up as Briar Rose was preparing to make her arrival into the world. The life that followed would be stormy as well, with Briar Rose often rebelling against the wishes of her socialite mother and surgeon father. Dorothy “Dottie” Beckett (nee Hawthorne) was an heiress to the Hawthorne wine empire, famous for their vineyards in Northern California. Dottie met David Beckett when they were in college, and she married him shortly after graduation. It was her family’s money that would put David through medical school and support him during his years as an intern.

Briar Rose would come to hate being a member of the Hawthorne dynasty. She loved her sibling, but her relationship with her parents was rocky. David was often absent, working long hours at the hospital and preferring to spend time with women other than his wife (a fact that Dottie was aware of, but Briar Rose and her sibling were not). Dottie, as the matriarch, could be controlling. She wanted her children to be proper socialites the way she had been. This meant years of ballet classes and attending debutante balls (all the girls in the Beckett family were expected to have their own as well). Briar Rose was never happy with these dated ideas of hyper-feminism, but her mother often held her trust fund over her head as a weapon to get Briar Rose and her sibling to do as she wished.

Freedom arrived at 18, when Briar Rose moved across the country to attend Georgetown University. Here, she dropped the Rose from her name, being known only to her classmates as Briar. Here, she experienced her first real romantic relationship. It was with another woman in her American literature class, and they would remain a couple throughout most of their time in college. She would come out to her classmates in her freshman year as a lesbian. But she kept her sexuality hidden from her family, wanting to keep the peace and not wanting her parents to cut her off in the middle of her education.

After the final tuition check cleared and Briar had her bachelor’s degree in English, she came out to her family as a lesbian. Dottie was horrified, stating this meant all her dreams for Briar were ruined. David was furious, realizing that she’d kept it a secret until after they paid for her education. Her parents cut her off financially and emotionally, but Briar didn’t care. She moved to Washington DC permanently. While she wanted to be a novelist, her need to pay the bills resulted in her getting a job as a receptionist for a local private detective. The woman took Briar under her wing, mentoring her and helping Briar get her own license. When the time came Briar left to start her own business in Columbia Heights, and has a small agency with an apartment connected to it.

This would come to hit close to home recently, when Briar learned of the existence of a half-sister that was kept secret from her all these years. She was digging up dirt on her parents in order to get them to turn over the remains of her trust fund when she discovered money being deposited into an account every month. More digging revealed this was going to one of the nurses David worked with, to pay for the care and education of a child he’d had out of wedlock. Flying to California, she confronted her parents with this bombshell. But she was shocked when she learned her mother already knew of her father’s various affairs. While Briar was furious at her father, she also blames her mother for tolerating her father’s behavior and helping him to cover up her half-sister’s existence.

Briar returned to DC with the knowledge she has a half-sister living in the area. While a part of her is reluctant to have anything to do with the product of her father’s infidelity, another part of her is curious to meet this sibling she never knew. And she knows on some level that it's not fair to blame her half-sister for her father’s actions. Besides, as a private detective, she’s always had a hard time minding her own business.

Briar is written by Lauren.

[xathia-89]

Headcanons: Modern Warlords and finding out she’s pregnant

I’ve only done Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Hideyoshi, Yoshimoto and Shingen 

Nobunaga

Everyone had been eager for him to get home, even Hideyoshi, which was a giveaway that his fireball was up to something. The press and public knew nothing of her, despite the suspicions that when she moved in with him then the rumours that Nobunaga was no longer single would be circulating. He still attends events with a different woman on his arm, or on his own. She always dressed him up and made sure that he looked as handsome as possible and never voiced any problems with the arrangement. Until the last few weeks anyway, and during the latest one, she had gotten so tearful and upset that she had locked herself in the bathroom until he had to leave. He had ended up sending Hideyoshi over to look after her for the time being and she was asleep in their bed when he had made it home.

Getting to their penthouse was east, but even the doorman seemed to know something as he walked into the entrance hall of the apartment block. Then when he got through their front door, she wasn’t in her usual spot on the sofa, hiding from him but there was a plain box wrapped in a ribbon with his name on it and the faintest smell of freesias from her perfume only frustrating him more.

Opening the box gave him more questions, since the sole object enclosed was a memory stick with a note saying to plug it into the television.

The image flickered onto the screen once it loaded. She looked as gorgeous as usual, but something was bothering her from the expression she was wearing, and the way she was playing with the hem of her skirt gave that impression as well before she gave a strained smile.

Hey, I know you expected me home since everyone has practically shove you into our apartment by now. I’ve something to tell you, but it comes with some agreements and adjustments.

The concern on her face worried him, along with the fact that she couldn’t say this straight up to his face.

I had to organise this because you’ve been so busy with work that you’ve missed all of the clues. I’m not blaming you, it’s the nature of you and your work, I’m explaining myself in the situation, and the only other person who knows our exact situation as well is our doctor, who was told he couldn’t tell anyone.

All of the worst-case scenarios were flying through his head. Maybe it was cancer, possibly terminal, or was it an autoimmune problem? Moving could help with this, and definitely a private nurse and doctor.

We’ve got a little princess on the way.

His mind went blank until her rich laughter from the screen brought him back, while holding an ultrasound photo in her hands.

She’s doing well, growing as she should be for how old she is. But there are a few questions I need to know the answer to before we get too far ahead of ourselves.

He felt the sofa dip under her weight, giving her time to settle comfortably before her screen self nodded for him to look at her in person, the screen switching to black. His body turned on automation, an arm supporting his weight over the back of the sofa behind her, and his free hand cupping her damp cheek. She was the type to cry when she was stressed and then cry more because she was mad at herself for crying as his thumb stroked over her skin.

“Please, what are those questions, fireball? Aside from that, I will need to know what you will need for a comfortable pregnancy, and if you are okay with a swift court ceremony the moment I get us a spot and then a big press ceremony when our princess is around nine months old?” The words couldn’t fall out of his mouth quickly enough, watching her facial expressions closely. “I’ll make a public announcement that you aren’t to be bothered, and I’ll assign you a bodyguard who will get his own team together and ensure that you aren’t bothered by the press.”

Her laughter made him stop, in time for him to see the cutest shade of pink creeping up her cheeks. “You just answered them,” she smiled. “I was in love when I found out I was pregnant, I just needed to know if I was doing this on my own with your financial assistance, or if we were in this together.”

Her expression was the cutest, and it made him melt on the inside. He kissed her lovingly, his arm sliding from the sofa to around her back and then lifting her onto his lap.

“Not a chance of you being on your own fireball, and I’ll fire anyone who tries to insist I remove the wedding band to sell anything,” he murmured, nuzzling into her hair.

----------------------------------------------

Mitsuhide

He hated some missions some days, and this was definitely one of them. It had been six months since he had last seen, spoken or held her in his arms. He hadn’t been able to even let her know that he would be gone in person, he had been at work and then told by his superiors that he was leaving now for the mission after the briefing. She had told him that morning that she had some news for him after work, and it had turned into six months of hell to find out. Being dismissed by his superior officers was the best feeling he’d had in a long time, though his glare had probably sped up the final briefing as he crossed the grounds to get to the on-base housing.

“Akechi-sama!” A recruit snapped to attention, a blush on his face at being caught lingering around his front garden before a familiar face opened the front door of his house and urgently gestured for him to come in.

“Thank god,” Ieyasu muttered, the blond man who had answered the door leading him through his house. “There were constant rumours that you had defected or died. The idiot couldn’t get out of the house some days for admirers.”

There was an extra layer of venom to Ieyasu’s tone that Mitsuhide didn’t like, never mind that Ieyasu had nicknamed his wife ‘the idiot’ for the entirety of their marriage. Though the idea of anyone bothering his little mouse in his absence was a sour taste in his mouth.

“And this is Daddy terrorising Uncle Hideyoshi,” Mitsuhide froze for a moment before bursting through ahead of Ieyasu into the living room where her voice was coming from.

The focus of the room was on him, captured and still in the moment as his golden gaze was fixated on his wife. She was lounging on the sofa, headphones on a very pronounced bump and hooked up to a laptop playing a video as he crossed the room seamlessly. She was a cycle of emotions before he sat down on the sofa and looked at the screen. It was playing out a video of the previous summer, he was terrorising Hideyoshi at a barbecue in the back garden, his chest swelling with new feelings as he recalled what he had overheard before busting into the room. His arms were around her, and he didn’t trust himself to speak as his friends all smiled and nodded their heads at him in goodbyes, leaving the couple in peace.

His wife had managed to wriggle free, removing the headphones from her bump, tidying them away before Mitsuhide pulled her back onto the sofa, secure in his arms. He nuzzled into her neck, still believing it to be a dream. He could never have dared to hope that this was the news that she had wanted to share. He was absent more than he was present, and she always seemed to be willing to wait for him, even now her fingers were finding those spots on his head that would relax him. It was too good to be true on the surface, this could be a dream still.

“Mitsuhide?” Her voice vibrated through her chest and against his, it was the right pitch, volume and tone for her as he lifted his head from her hair. “I think we need to talk.”

“I assume that this was the thing you wanted to discuss before I left?” He hand was stroking over her bump, trying to keep himself from breaking as he felt a foot collide with his touch.

“I had missed my period, and I wanted your opinion on waiting to get a pregnancy test or not,” her voice was so soft and unassuming, before her hand was on top of his. “I waited until it was clear that you were on an assignment before I went to speak to Ieyasu. He’s kept the bill for you.”

“Not long left then?” He had a lump in his throat at the thought of her going through pregnancy alone, but she was insanely strong like that.

“About three weeks, and then we get to meet our little girl,” she was so happy to share the news with him finally, their fingers entwined as a head butted against them.

“I presume my little mouse has done all the work for her arrival?” He chuckled, nuzzling into her hair as he was in the realm of disbelief over the news. He didn’t have long to prepare mentally for this, but then again he never did with his missions.

“Of course,” her tone was sly, looking up at him. “But, your superiors refuse to believe it’s your child and give you the time off.”

“Mm, well, when she arrives, then I am sure that there will be irrefutable evidence to her patronage,” he smirked before kissing his wife softly.

-----------------------------------------------------

Yoshimoto

She had been off-colour recently, though seeing her at the exhibition that she had mostly inspired was also the thing that made him realise just how much she was bothered by it. He had to admire how much she was playing nice with the pervy old men who sponsored him as a way of finding new mistresses at these events. Natsuki had a way with words on turning them down, and it had only turned nasty on a handful of occasions. Mostly they would end up flattered to have met her, have an enlightening conversation and then come to find him and praise him for having such an intelligent partner. It made sense for her glass to be filled with ginger beer, as she loitered near one of his sculptures, tilting her head as though she was absorbing her interpretation of it.

He wanted nothing more than to show her off to the room, but he had to suck it up as he was stuck in a conversation with a few of his long standing sponsors. He was mostly discussing the turbulence that had surrounded Japan and influenced his works, but the sound of a slap silenced everyone and made the room look straight to the source of the sound.

Natsuki was looking mortified, her hand over her mouth in shock at what she had done since his cheek was flushed red from the strike. He didn’t recognise the man standing over her, but it took the room a few seconds to start murmuring with their presumptions while Yoshimoto was making his excuses and heading straight for her.

“You ought to have her thrown out! Terrible behaviour when all I did was ask to buy her a drink,” the stranger immediately began to launch into a rant the moment he approached.

“Are you okay?” Yoshimoto asked her, realising that she was shaking as well when he was closer.

She shook her head. “He was trying to get me to leave with him, he was on about getting to know him better and he was lavishing on the features of his hotel room,” her ramblings were displaying her vulnerability. Yoshimoto was never one for public affection at the viewings, but his arms were around her, stroking her back as he glowered at the stranger. “He was saying that I needed to be nice to him and be a good girl because he knows people and that he would make my life difficult if I didn’t sleep with him. Then after I first refused, he was saying I should be used to whoring myself out because I’m an artist and that’s how I’ll really get my patrons to afford to eat. He said that getting my work shown is good, but I should suck him off and then his friends, and then I’ll get rich the way a girl like me should be.”

It was impossible to avoid not knowing what had happened at that point. He could hear most people displaying their distaste, and even more shifting uncomfortably to see the intimate gestures between him and Natsuki.

“I’d not associate yourself with her any more, she will drag you down to the degenerate level that all artists thrive on,” the stranger sneered, before one of the sponsors was able to make his way over and insert himself into the conversation.

“Mr Ito!” The sponsor smiled broadly. “May I introduce you to Natsuki Saito, the heiress of Saito Fashions, and to the star of the event, Yoshi?”

The expression on Mr Ito’s face fell rapidly, as he realised the assumptions that had been made were all wrong.

“I must admit that when I heard the name Yoshi I did assume that Natsuki was the artist at first as well, until her father explained that his future son-in-law was seeking some sponsorship to spread his work. Mr Saito was full of nothing but praise for Yoshi, and how Natsuki had worked so hard to ensure that their relationship met all of his terms for his blessing. So I know what Miss Saito is like, Mr Ito, and for her reaction to have been so extreme, then I do also believe her story. Which isn’t the first I’m hearing of your behaviour. All of our business has been conducted under certain good faith clauses, but this is very much coming into doubt especially since you’ve begun to deflect all payment requests to my payment departments while continuing to keep all of your income,” the conversation began to fade into the background as Yoshimoto walked himself and Natsuki out onto a small and private balcony for some fresh air.

“I’m sorry,” was out of her mouth before he could stop her.

He wrapped his arms back around her, bringing her flush to him as he kissed her forehead. “You have nothing to apologise for, but it’s very unusual behaviour for you.”

“I found out I’m pregnant this morning,” she blurted out, before blushing furiously.

Laughter was his knee jerk response, he couldn’t stop himself before he squeezed her tightly. She was the only person on this planet that he would even have considered having a kid with, but it just had never been a conversation that they had ever had in all of their years of dating as she pouted up at him. “I’m sorry, but that was the cutest way of telling me,” he chuckled, kissing her hair. “Is that why you’ve been so strange for the past few weeks?”

“Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly and buried her face into his chest before she remembered that she was wearing makeup and groaned in defeat.

“Let’s go home, I think my sponsors can take care of things,” he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hideyoshi

Late nights and long shifts were the norm. She knew that it would be lonely at times when they met at university, but now they were both flourishing in their chosen careers. At the moment, it wasn’t something that she appreciated while she was sat on the sofa, picking her lip from nervousness and watching the sunrise while waiting for him to get off a sixteen-hour shift. Normally, it could and would have waited until after she came home from work so they would both be rested, but sleep was the last thing on her mind.

“Natsuki?” His footsteps were rushed from the front door of their small apartment, a frown on his face as he knelt down in front of her, checking her over visually for signs of illness. Then his gaze fell on what was tightly clenched in her hand.

The deer in headlights look wasn’t one she saw often on him. He saw all sorts of scenarios at work, but it wasn’t him that was affected by the situation, her hand beginning to reluctantly uncurl from around the object. The puzzle pieces began to fall into place. It hadn’t been food poisoning, she had been moodier than usual and her clothes weren’t shrinking.

“Have you seen a doctor?”

He would jump to that, as she picked up the letter next to her with the hospital’s header on top of it. The results in black and white for them both to see.

“I went yesterday morning, after taking a test before you came home from work. But, I still didn’t believe that, so I took this one last night after work,” she explained quietly. “They’ve booked in a scan for next week, first thing in the morning just after your shift ends. I gave them your name as the father and this slot magically appeared after they tried to say it needed to be the middle of the day.”

“It’ll take no time at all then for my colleagues to be teasing me,” he was smiling widely as she finally lifted her head.

“I thought you didn’t want kids just yet, that your career wasn’t as stable as you would like?”

“No, but you’re pregnant right now, and I can’t see anyone but you being the mother of my children,” his joy was barely contained, kissing her on the head as she was frozen in confusion. “We’ll need to make sure everything is sorted. Maybe look at moving sooner rather than later, and school areas are definitely a cause for concern,” he was already miles ahead of her, shattering all of her fears as she laughed brightly. “What?”

“You’re such a mother,” she giggled, wrapping her arms around him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shingen

When she remembered the tabloid stories about him, it always made her nervous. He came from money and constantly had models, pop stars and influential people falling over him. He was gorgeous, men and women alike would fawn over him as she twirled a lock of hair around her finger before a ‘tsk’ noise made her jump.

“Yukimura would kill him if he did anything,” Kenshin scoffed, shaking his head at the television that was currently playing the music awards ceremony. Managers almost never managed to get any kind of spotlight, but Shingen just attracted attention by nature. It had gotten to the point that he had hired a security detail for the pair of them by default. “You’re the only girl that hasn’t made any scenes or drama for the sake of headlines and attention, and Shingen has stayed completely faithful to you.”

“Did you tell him where we really went yesterday?”

“I’m not Yukimura,” Kenshin scowled, pouring himself out a large sake, and then carried a fresh bottle over with him to sit with her on the sofa. “But don’t delude yourself that Shingen won’t know something is wrong with you.”

“He doesn’t need me adding to his worries,” she snapped back, arms folded over a bloated stomach after she leant back into the sofa cushions.

“That’s for him to decide,” Kenshin replied, sitting at the opposite end of the furniture, before the chaos on the screen, caught both of their attentions. The two were fixated as a rising starlet was trying to throw herself at Shingen, shrieking loudly and demanding that he acknowledged the pregnancy results in her hand.

He was as graceful as ever in the face of accusation, but paused and the facade seemed to crack as he read the sheet. It was passed to Yuki, the two muttering and the smaller man shaking his head before Shingen was looking at the intruder again.

“What’s your name?” He wasn’t as put together as usual, and it was going to make stories regardless of what the outcome was here.

“Yuka Saito,” she proudly announced, apparently glad to be getting her five minutes of fame.

“Which means these results aren’t yours,” Shingen was looking down the camera, he always told them to watch a specific station each time he was on the television and she knew why now. “Kenshin, keep yourself parked on my couch with her.”

Everyone was startled by the sharp change in demeanour, not that it stopped all the photos being taken. The speed at which Yukimura had the car already brought to Shingen and then speeding off down the road had everyone with slack jaws. Then the reporters started buzzing with news of ‘her’, trying to work out who could possibly have the playboy manager on a leash.

Kenshin didn’t care that he was in trouble, he simply changed the channel they were watching on the screen after closing all the curtains around the penthouse apartment.

“Natsuki!” was bellowed the second the door was thrown open before Shingen came storming into the living room. “What did I tell you about going to public hospitals?”

“That’s what you’re choosing to be mad about at this moment?!” She yelled back in disbelief, standing up from the sofa.

“Right now, yes!” He frowned. “I told you when we went public that this sort of thing was liable to happening,” Shingen sighed, his hand running through his hair. “Kenshin, I’m revoking your sake and pickled plum tab for a month, and I’ll make it a year if you slip up before the baby has their first photoshoot released.”

“Wait, what?” Natsuki was frowning in confusion, before Shingen had his arms around her, stroking her back and burying his head into the crook of her neck. He was making sure she was okay while coming down from his own adrenaline high. “I thought we agreed that this would be nothing serious-”

“Natsuki, nothing serious was over the moment we fell into bed together,” his head was lifted, and his hands were cupping her cheeks now with a faint blush over his cheeks. She could feel Kenshin smirking at her from behind, and Yukimura was trying to look anywhere but at them. “You haven’t left my apartment for longer than a day, and I can’t remember the last time you did anything more than collect things out of your apartment never mind sleep there.”

“I assumed that you wouldn’t want a baby given your lifestyle and the type of job you have,” she trailed off, playing with his tie.

“And I would give that all up, because I know I am in love with you. It’s only been you for more than two years now, more than that really. You know me. You knew what was going on and what my reputation was, and you never once pressured me into changing when we were casual for the eighteen months before that. You don’t try to change things that would make me unhappy, but there is one thing I’d love to change about you,” he paused, and smiled as she went to object. “Your last name,” Shingen was soon down on one knee in front of her, holding her hand as he looked up at her in earnest.

Natsuki was crying like a baby, throwing her arms around him instantly. “Yes! You impossibly smooth buffoon!” She cried, clutching at his jacket.

His chuckle was low, the two cradled close together as Shingen lifted her up and moved them both to sitting on the sofa again. Yukimura and Kenshin were back to checking the security as he held her close, the unease banished from them both for now.

[leknowyryouwbarza]

Men, Women, Sex & Money

If you want to start an intense, passionate debate between the sexes just bring up the subject of sex or money. If you want to bring down the house combine sex and money into one topic and see how many couples leave speaking. At a recent gathering of girlfriends we let our hair down and talked openly about sex and money. Here is what a few of my friends had to say:

Tiesha: "I was standing at a bus stop and a man in a car passed by me a few times before getting the nerve to ask me for my phone number. He pulled up to the curb and yelled, 'Hey baby, you got a man?' I said yes and I am very happy in my relationship so please keep driving. The guy then said, 'Your man is obviously not on his j-o-b, otherwise you wouldn't be standing at this bus stop.' He started to laugh out loud then swerved off. I was embarrassed and that really hurt me. A lot of people judge a man by how much money he makes or the type of material things that he owns. I think that this type of thinking is unfair because if it was not for my boyfriend I wouldn't have anyone to help with my daughter.

What makes my boyfriend even more special is that my daughter is from a previous relationship. He is not obligated to take care of her, but every morning he cooks breakfast and makes lunch for her. He picks her up from school and helps her with homework. I work full-time as a nurse's aid in a convalescent home and attend school full-time to become an anesthesiologist. When I come home from work, the house is clean and my dinner is on the table. My boyfriend hasn't worked in almost a year due to an injury. Without his support there is no way I could finish school and work the hours I need to get ahead. My friends and family always make little nasty remarks about my boyfriend not having any money, but I can't pay them to keep my daughter."

Tona: I have got to be true to myself. I know this might sound ugly or materialistic but a man has got to have some "cheese." If he doesn't have money I have no need for him. I think a man should always give a woman money especially if she is sleeping with him. It takes money for a woman to keep her hair and nails done. Think about the cost of make-up and feminine products- and have you priced birth control pills lately? It's expensive being a woman. It's the woman who has to have her insides tugged out in the case of an unwanted pregnancy and worse yet, who has to carry the baby for nine months and almost die having the baby - the woman.

I think any woman who lets a man lay-up on her, suck in her heat and eat her food without financial compensation is being used. Think about it. Men go to strip clubs and give money to girls just to look at it! This is America. If a man respects a woman she won't have to ask him for money, he'll just give it to her because he wants to see his woman carry herself in a certain manner. If a man doesn't have money to give to a woman that he supposedly love, he shouldn't expect sex, because he can't afford the consequences.

Kara: I don't care what any woman says; I think it is impossible for any man to be sexually faithful. As long as he respects me and doesn't flaunt his whore in my face I can deal with his infidelity. As long as he brings his check home to me, there is food on the table, the kids have what they need, and all of my basic needs are met; for the most part I can be happy.

My mother was a teenager with five children. We were taken from her because she couldn't properly provide for us. I watched her fall in and out of love, but we were still five hungry kids. My mother once let a recently divorced man live with us and he gave his ex-wife and children most of his money while he gave my mother empty promises. When he no longer had to pay child support he left my mother. Men are different from women. A man can have sex with a woman and not care what her last name is. I think men are much better at separating sex from love. But when a man gives a woman his money, something he has worked hard for, I think this means that he really cares and it's not just a sexual attraction.

Money determines a person's quality of life, and let's face it; it takes two-incomes just to keep your head above water. I am not saying that a woman shouldn't help a man out if he needs help or pay for a date every now and then, but if he doesn't have money to give to a woman, she is wasting her time by sleeping with him. It's easy to find a man to have sex with - that's all most men want. To me, when a man is interested in financially helping a woman, he is letting her know that he really loves her.

[rottenbrew]

◈  Nyx Lovette ◈ Entry for @lunisims Mason’s Bachelorette Challenge. ( I hope you grow to love her as much as I did!  ♥)

❈────────────────────•✦•❅•✦•❈ ────────────────────❈

➽ She was born on February 24, 1843, making her 176 years of age. Also making her a Pisces!

➽  She is half Hispanic from her mother’s side, and half French from her father’s.

➽  If ever pushed past her boiling point, or if she ever gets super angry or upset, (which is super rare) Nyx tends to curse under her breath in French and unintentionally puffs her cheeks out because of her overwhelming frustration lol.

➽  Nyx is a nerd for astrology and science, however due to the duties and mannerisms that were begrudgingly expected of women during her time, she never got the chance to pursue her dream of studying the massive universe she admires outside of what her father taught her.

➽  Nyx’s father, Vincent Lovette, was a renowned scientist and inventor of the 19th century, and was also infatuated with Greek mythology, thus naming his daughter after the Greek Goddess of the Night, Nyx.

➽ Nyx’s “dark” form takes after the way she used to dress when she was still alive in the 1800′s. Elegant, yet bold due to her preference of predominantly dark colors.

➽  Due to her age, Nyx is relatively wise, however she never truly interacted or experienced worldly progressions starting from the late 1900′s - now. She remained in hiding, so now that she’s willingly returning to the “real” and open world, (because she gained enough power to develop an immunity to the sun) she always gets excited like a child when experiencing the small things that others would find irrelevant or common. (Phones, amusement parks, dishwashers, HD films, etc.)

➽ Despite the pain she endured in her past, Nyx is still a very kind and cheerful individual. She takes joy in the simplest of things and focuses on the good in everything despite how harsh the world and people may be sometimes.

➽  Nyx was on the brink of death after giving birth to her first and only child, Zocrates, and the doctor attending to her was actually Vladislaus Straud. Mercifully turning her just in time, Vlad took Nyx under his wing, but strictly demanded that she was to forget she even had a son, as she would be forced to resign from ever being in his life due to her new form, and to protect their secret.

➽ Remaining in despair due to never being able to interact with her son, Nyx has always had a strong yearning to have a family and kids to call her own once again. Having to long for such things from afar, Nyx would sometimes sneak away from Vlad’s careful eye to play with the children from her town in her bat form as she appeared less menacing and at the same time preserved her secret. The kids all decided to nickname her “Baby Bat” as her bat form is relatively petite and her eyes were big and round like a baby’s.

➽ I also like to imagine that maybe Nyx and Mason met in their bat forms, with Nyx being extremely surprised to run into another vampire as she’s never met another one before (at least in her experience in the outside world) besides Vlad, especially not under those circumstances either. She would probably fly and circle around him like an excited dog lol!

Private Download if Chosen!

Nyx’s Backstory under the cut.

Nyx, as mentioned before, was born to a French scientist and nobleman, and a Hispanic seamstress. Their names were Vincent and Ximena Lovette. For the majority of her childhood and adolescence, Nyx was raised with nothing but love and admiration from her parents. Her father prided himself in knowing that his daughter was being raised with a proper education and opportunities to keep learning due to his status and position as a scientist. Although her mother, who was a bit more traditional as she knew what the future had in store for her daughter despite her growing knowledge, somewhat disapproved of her husband’s teachings, supported and loved her to the fullest. In 1849 however, Ximena fell ill to tuberculosis, and passed away a few short months after. Nyx, 6 at the time, missed her mother deeply, but the loss hit Vincent the hardest. He was undoubtedly and madly in love with his wife, that her death devastated him so much so to the point that he refused to step out of his office for weeks on end. During this time, Nyx took it upon herself to take care of him, and despite her small stature and inability to do certain things, she’d always make sure that her father would eat in the morning, evening, and night. Leaving new fresh clothes on the edge of his bed everyday, and always making a hot pot of tea for him around noon. One fateful day though, when Vincent managed to drag himself up from the pit of depression for a brief moment, he wandered around the house, re-imagining all the times he’d see his loving wife go about her daily routine with a gentle smile on her face. On the dining room table though, was a piece of paper, with writing scribbled on it. A child’s writing. It read “ Things that might make daddy happy.” 1. The telescope! He always likes to look at the stars with it. 2. Leaving drawings on his desk! 3. Making him his favorite breakfast but I don’t really know how.. 4. Picking some flowers! I’m going to go do that now- The list ended there, but on the bottom was a raggedy, but adorable stick figure drawing of Nyx and her father, hand-in-hand, with an angel smiling from above. Her mother. Vincent, with tears flowing down his face, clenched the paper tightly, and from that moment on found the reason to keep fighting. To move on. And that was to make sure he could always provide for his daughter, his pride and joy, and make sure she would never have to worry about how to make her father happy. He had to be strong, for her.

Nyx, now reaching her adolescent years, was beginning to catch the eye of many suitors. By the time she was 17, she already had 5 men asking for her hand in marriage. Nyx was reluctant though, despising even the thought or proposition of marriage. She wanted to keep learning, to invent, to find out what secrets the unreachable heaven in the stars had to reveal. But her priority for education was short-lived, as she realized that in order to uphold her family’s status and honor..her father’s status and honor, she had to marry one of these men. Out of all of them though, the least gut-wrenching and well..insistent was a lad named Clarence. Like Nyx, Clarence showed solemn interest during their meeting, but was a collected person unlike her other abrasive suitors. He was also the youngest out of them all, being 23. After long hours of conversations, meetings, and dinners together, they both came to an agreement and understanding. They knew they weren’t in love with each other, and were both similar in the fact that they were doing it for their families, so they came to terms that although they were to be wed, their relationship was to mostly remain platonic and distant. Even though this upset Nyx, as she would need to succumb to all the stereotypical “housewife” duties, she felt relieved in knowing that this would at least bring her father a bit of joy, knowing that she would continue to be cared for and wouldn’t be left to struggle financially. She was happy..for now.

The wedding was set on the exact date of Nyx’s 18th birthday, and the ceremony was big, as every aunt, uncle, cousin, brother, sister, pretty much everyone and their mother attended. But Nyx felt nothing. She appreciated all the happy faces that came to watch her be given away, but she always dreamed that her wedding day would be less miserable. The day went by in a flash, and before she knew it, months had passed, and her “what was supposed to be a stoic relationship” with Clarence increasingly worsened. They did not have the same priorities or standards. Clarence always putting her down for her courage to speak up for herself, and refusing to let her continue her studies as she needed to “finally know her place as a woman.” That’s when he announced that soon she would need to bear him a child, to ensure that his legacy and fortune was to be guaranteed. Feeling disgraced and defeated, she knew there was no fighting this, as this was exactly what she knew she was getting herself into. Nyx got pregnant, giving birth to a beautiful baby boy a short nine months later. Holding onto him for the very first time, Nyx felt the strongest pang of genuine love as she held this tiny creature tightly, who was sleeping ever so peacefully. But she felt herself getting weaker and weaker..something was wrong.The nurses ran out in a panic to grab the head doctor, and she knew then and there that these passing moments were most likely going to be her last. Clarence walked into the room with a dangerously calm and unnerved expression, and with the very last strength she could muster, handed her baby over to his father. The moment she felt the weight off her arms, it felt like her entire body gave in and was ready to shut down. She sunk her head back into the pillow, and her vision began to blur. “His name.” She heard. “What do you want to name him? It’s the least I can do for you, since...” Clarence’s words trailed off, as his face finally began to give way to a sullen expression. Nyx thought for a moment, and the instant thought of her favorite philosopher popped into her fading mind. “..Socrates...” But it couldn’t be common like that, she thought. “With a Z...” She heard a soft chuckle from Clarence, and she smiled softly. “Alright then, Zocrates it is..I will make sure to give him a good life, do not worry about that.” Nyx relaxed at hearing that, as that’s all she wanted for him. She sighed, and closed her eyes. She heard the footsteps of Clarence exiting the room, but after a few minutes heard the approaching of a different set of footsteps. Too exhausted and weak to open her eyes, she felt a sharp pinching on her neck, and everything went black.

The rest is all self-explanatory, as she awoke as a blood-thirsty creature of the night. Devastated that she needed to sever all ties with her son and her father..All the things she’s ever cared for and loved. She appreciated Vlad and looked up to him, but watching the years go by without a hinge...watching her father grow old and pass on..and her son..At one point the pain was far too much for her to bear, and she wished that Vlad would have just let her pass away like those that she loved. To live forever was a gift, but at the same time it was the worst curse that can be bestowed upon someone. Due to this, she locked herself away for a number of years and hibernated, putting aside all her vampire training and morals. 

Bringing us to the present! Nyx is in better spirits, and is finally awake from her deep slumber. She began to put her training before everything else, and soon managed to become powerful enough to resist the sun’s deathly, yet beautiful rays. She’s never been more ready to put herself back out there, and to see all the wonderful new things the world has to offer. Nyx is ready to accept whatever experiences are coming her way with open arms.  ♡

[finaliity]

&.  【  sh, do you hear  TROUBLEMAKER  by  BEACH HOUSE  playing ? that must mean  NEVE CHANNING  is coming, the  31  year old  CIS FEMALE  that goes by  SHE/HER,  currently employed as an  ER NURSE.  they’re a  BANSHEE in oldgate for eh, i’d say about  SIX MONTHS.  tough luck, huh ? least they got their  SELF-POSSESSED,  COMPASSIONATE,  ALOOF  and  SELF-RIGHTEOUS  stuff to fall back on. anyway, it’s best to get out of here. their  (  a revolver hidden in the nightstand, late night jogs with a canine companion, light blue scrubs beneath a leather jacket, silent screams while dreaming  )  vibe gives me the creeps !  -  ADELAIDE KANE.

a brief history. trigger/content warnings: murder, death, graphic violence, mental health, postpartum depression, suicide, cancer, drug mention, parent death, medical, euthanasia mention, stalking, guns

THE FOG CREEPS IN ; GIRLHOOD IS A GRAVEYARD

neve channing is born on a cold, grey february sometime around midnight to douglas and paula channing while the heavy oregon fog kisses the modest concrete jungle of portland oregon like a phantom. paula gives her a big name, telling the nurses with heady confidence that she’ll be famous one day, and it’s the biggest gift she ever gives her. baby genevieve is in her arms so often, she hardly touches a cradle, but it’s not long until douglas feels an uneasiness creeping in.

paula is bohemian silk skirts and crushed velvet. she grows restless being trapped in the plain, modest home in northeast. she is a woman that is easy to fall in love with—not meant to sit at home idly with a collicy baby, where she finds herself in tears more than ever. douglas returns from work to find baby neve screaming unattended in her crib while paula cries in the backyard with an ashtray full of cigarettes. she tells him she’s worried she’ll crash the car one day on the way to the grocery store with them both inside. douglas digs his teeth into his bottom lip and tries not to cry. he squeezes her hand and tells her she needs to go to therapy. what he really wants to tell her is that their baby needs her. he leaves paula outside and spends the afternoon tidying the house with neve swaddled against his chest. it’s a warm feeling.

it’s not long after that paula starts disappearing for periods of time and douglas learns she can’t be trusted to watch after the baby on her own. she screams all the time and perseverates on death in the most unhealthy of ways. when she calls from downtown in tears, hyperverbal and desperate, he picks her up in his old chevy truck and brings her home. she agrees to see a doctor and for awhile, they figure out how to live again. some days are even as sweet as the rhubarb pies she starts to make again.

there are only two ways neve later remembers her mother, and the first is lovely–paula is picnics and shakespeare in the parks. she’s dried roses in the window and salmon tacos with mango salsa. she is whirlwind adventures and laughter. she teaches neve to make wishes on stray eyelashes, blowing them into the wind like dandelion seeds. on the good days, paula’s eyes are filled with stars. on the bad days, they are left black as the night sky while she cries the constellations down her cheeks. occasionally, she is cruel. mostly, she is absent.

by the third grade, neve expects this. douglas has never been much of a cook–save hamburger patties with canned green beans and a baked potato. she cooks their dinners from recipes she learns from her grandmas and helps around the house. most nights she’s home alone until the grumbling sound of the chevy breaks through the dark and signals her father’s return. eventually, she stops missing her mother from the everyday–it’s only when the other kids talk about their moms that she feels the pang of loss and wonders where she is. some nights neve finds herself sitting in her bedroom window pulling out eyelashes just to have something left to wish on. some of paula’s friends overdose on heroin or get murdered in the nights when neve is sleeping; she stays up late and hopes that her vigil will keep a distant mother safe.

there aren’t many trees on their street–unlike some of the other neighborhoods. the big weeping birch in their backyard that drives her father crazy as he rakes leaves every fall is neve’s pride and joy. there is comfort in the shade its branches cast every summer. at night it makes her lonely as it blocks the silhouette of the waxing moon. on lazy summer days when her father leaves for work, neve sits with her back curved against its rough trunk and reads the day away.

on a cool april afternoon, just after preparing a plate of cherry poptarts with a thin layer of butter on top of the frosting ( much to her father’s chagrin ), neve ventures out to the modest yard to sit under her tree. the familiar crushed blue velvet of her mother’s favorite dress catches her off guard and she drops her breakfast onto the unkempt lawn as her mind makes sense of the unnatural height of its hem as paula swings–marking the time of neve’s pounding heartbeat. the butter solidifies as it cools in the dirt, the heel of neve’s hand-me-down airwalk sneakers mashing her breakfast. the cherry filling sticks to the sole like bubblegum; she’ll never eat them again, but she can’t help but recall that her mom always preferred the maple and brown sugar.

THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST HER ; A GIRL LEARNS TO COUNT CARDS

portland in the eighties and nineties is less portlandia and more drugstore cowboy. a lot of kids from other neighborhoods don’t go downtown. the ones that do have an air of palpable grit. neve takes the max, rides her skateboard in the dark. douglas has cautioned her a hundred thousand times, but paula’s death has instilled such a great fear of losing his daughter that he lets her get away with more than he knows he probably should. he fears paula’s ghost will someday possess her and she’ll wander off into the ether. most days he insists that the only parts of paula he sees in his cherished daughter are the good ones–neve holds onto the corporeal world with claws. it’s only on the worst nights–paula’s specter cooling the sheets of his bed in the dark–that he wakes up with the fear his daughter is gone.

douglas’s new wife, rosie, does her best to pit them against one another, but sometimes–she’s not so bad, neve thinks. it’s nice to have a mother figure in the house again even if she falls short most days. sometimes she thinks that maybe they could learn to love each other. if nothing else, she’s sure she owes a bit of gratitude to the woman; the nights of her father’s haunting sobs have become fewer and farther between. it isn’t until douglas begins receiving late notices on utilities that he begins to grow suspicious. rosie is quick to throw neve under the bus–a young girl like that? she’s probably stealing their money to spend on drugs and CDs at sam goody. douglas has never bet on anyone like he bets on his daughter; rosie’s gambling debts are news to them both.

the fallout of the relationship leaves douglas and neve in dire financial straits. the father is heartbroken–another love lost, he blames himself for always choosing the wrong lady luck. despite their financial ruin, left in rosie’s wake, douglas has a hard time getting out of bed most days and blows through what little sick time he has available to him. school takes a back burner and neve barely attends it at all–favoring her time on finding work ( legitimate and illegitimate ) to help keep their small family afloat. she attends class when it’s profitable and waits tables or washes dishes when she can. it’s still not enough.

a few kids turn neve onto small crimes to turn a profit. they ride the max to the suburbs and crash parties–stealing pills out of medicine cabinets and turning them over for profit. calculus wasn’t worth a good goddamn, but distribution teaches skills. it’s hard not to get caught up in petty thefts and the occasional break-ins. neve and her friends find it easy to justify in the spirit of class war. a pin on her denim jacket reads ‘eat the rich’ and it doesn’t sound so bad. portland is a cannibal and it eats its children.

neve is a cat with nine lives and despite her friends being caught by the long arm of the law or the stronger arm of revenge, she evades detection. even such cats live with a fear of death, and as consequence catches up to members of the small circle she runs with, neve knows she is living on borrowed time. sooner or later, she knows, her luck will run bone dry. it seems so unfair that death follows her and yet, she is unable to wield it as a weapon. everything she is feels like mourning.

SPRING RETURNS TO PORTLAND ; THE FROST CLINGS TO FRAGILE BONES

neve dropping out of high school is a wake up call for douglas. he sees farther than she does and knows that she deserves a better life than the one he’s scrounged together for her. most days, he blames himself for a life that could have been; some kids like her wore neatly pressed dresses and folded over lace socks on picture day. some kids had piano lessons and summer camps. there’s a lot of insight in hindsight, but neve staunchly opposes his masochistic remorse and becomes determined to prove him wrong. it takes her a couple years of working to figure out what she wants to do–a girl baptised in her mother’s blood is born with the kind of heart that takes on too much. she is meant for saving lives and carrying the world on her shoulders like atlas himself.

it takes time, but as douglas gets their house in order and starts working again. neve is able to start up at portland community college. she takes up a work study job and works a steady flow of odd jobs on the side to support herself. lady luck shines her fortune on the pair for the first time in forever to make up for the steady losses they’ve sustained over the years. life isn’t lavender and gardenias, but somehow waking up becomes little and less painful each day. some days neve wakes up and forgets that she can’t breathe. most days she spends her gratitude in the heap of debt the world owes her–waiting for the other shoe to drop.

the rebirth of their family is a hearty soil; both channings flourish as if made anew. the dew drops that cling to garden spider webs in their window signal the looming anniversary of a mother’s misty breath and neve learns not to fall apart. douglas works hard to do right by her and make up for the years of never knowing what to do and waffling between what is best and what is desirable. he is a man that longs for dreams–feet barely brushing the earth like her mother’s did on that day–but he is learning to make dreams work too. his dreams take root around his daughter once more; he builds them around her and builds her up with them.

the highschool dropout graduates her community college adn bridge program and she can hardly believe it when she’s accepted to ohsu for her bsn. there are no college diplomas with the channing name hanging on walls with peeling wallpaper or tucked away in trunks with paula’s things. douglas has saved his money for months to get her the right graduation gift and neve laughs, downplaying that it’s not a real graduation, but still walks in the ceremony at his insistence.

she returns home to the small party of friends she’ll start to grow apart from when she gets tired of the jeers about how she thinks she’s ‘too good for them’ now. neighborhoods like hers don’t always love to watch you grow if it means you’ll leave them. they’ll still blow up her phone for medical advice, but the invitations dry up like the drought of portland natives in southeast. for now, it’s a pleasant barbecue. the highlight of the evening comes in the small bundle of inky fur that douglas proudly produces after neve’s second burger. peering out from his strong arms are the brown eyes of a young siberian husky. douglas begs her to name the pup murphy over robocop, but loses easily–a hearty chuckle on his lips. they are bonded instantly–girl and dog–robocop becomes neve’s second most stalwart companion next to her father.

nursing school is hard, but it’s not impossible and it is full of new kinds of joys. she makes new friends and they eat lunch from the thai foodcart—nestled within the pod of south waterfront—and lay on the quad drinking smoothies and complaining about the next pharmacology exam. nose in a book and a drink in her hand at happy hour down at cha cha cha !, neve attracts the attention of pa student shane stone. he knows a nursing school classmate of hers from high school and is quickly incorporated to their study groups with a couple of his friends. he is tall with dark hair and kind eyes and just the sort of person a girl dreams of falling in love with. he spends little time worrying about things like rent and bus passes. it’s not even the end of the semester before study dates evolve into movie dates. there’s an entire world between them, but somehow the pair build a bridge.

DEATH RATTLES AND DYING BREATH ; THE GIRL’S OTHER SHOE DROPS

as neve focuses on school, douglas seems to be making steps to keep himself around longer. they go for long walks with robocop around the neighborhood. southeast portland is becoming a different neighborhood and the cost of living is high. restaurants crop up with around the block waits and family friends are forced to move to grayer pastures. it seems, to the channings, that it’s the end of an era. with neve spending most of her time at shane’s apartment on south waterfront, douglas’ weight loss is hardly noticed–everyone assumes it is merely the byproduct of increased activity. it isn’t until his stature becomes gaunt that neve starts to worry. she is having dreams again. she can smell graveyard soil around him.

shane holds neve close when she finally breaks down–sneaking into the single bathroom of the clinic to let her fall apart the way he knows she can’t do in the open. like a wild animal, the girl he loves hides herself away when she feels death’s acrid breath on her neck. he doesn’t know what loss is and he certainly can’t relate to what she’s been through. douglas’ diagnosis is like watching the noose tighten around her mother’s neck all over again. her throat is dry like she’s choking on the fibers of that same rope; the world has a foggy edge—hollow like street lights illuminating an empty suburban neighborhood on a clear, dark night. everything is wooden; everything feels like a dollhouse.

it’s hard to keep up on her studies, but somehow neve muscles through. shane gives up his idyllic apartment and moves into their modest southeast home to help out. he makes a lighthearted joke about finally being a real portlander and moving so near the trendy, revitalized mississippi neighborhood and neve drops and breaks her coffee mug on the unfinished wood floor of the kitchen. it’s just another reminder that he doesn’t belong in her world any more than she does in his. it doesn’t sting as bad as the ink on his mother’s checks that she cashes to keep her father comfortable on his deathbed while she learns to be a better caretaker. life ebbs and flows, but douglas’ drains away until she hardly recognizes the sinewy, pale hands that hold hers so strongly for a man that can’t sit up by himself any longer. she curses her mother once more for leaving and twice for never having been there in the first place.

death isn’t slow or peaceful like the woman from her father’s church will lie about at the funeral. his death rattle lasts for hours and the bellows of his chest quake with weary breath. part of her wishes that the hospice nurse had started an iv on him and a sick, hidden part of her wishes it because a sweet dose of morphine would’ve ended it all sooner for him. she wonders silently if that would do more to ease his pain or hers? he hasn’t been conscious in two days. shane sits with her at the side of his bed with rapt attention and as his breathing slows, neve crawls into the hospice bed next to him. the next several months are a blur and a father misses his only daughter’s graduation. neve is barely present there herself. all she can hear is the sound of her own scream.

shane insists that she’s not an orphan–his parents fly in from denver and treat her like one of their own. it guilts her that she can’t help but resent them for the simple virtue of living while her own father is reduced to a cold dust. she wears his ashes around her neck in a pendant from the funeral home and spreads the rest in every beautiful place she can find. some of them spill into her purse during a hike with robo and shane and she breaks down in tears. there are so many small things that make her sick or numb. a multitude of tiny memories that weigh as much as planets; isn’t dust what helped create the milky way? even around the stone family she feels alone. maybe especially around the stones.

HACKLES RAISED, A GIRL LEARNS THE DANGERS OF BEING FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

the emergency department attracts all kinds of people in myriad dire straits. people come in at the end of their ropes–infections ignored too long, stabbings and shootings, a broken bone from slipping off the slide, and sometimes when they feel like they can’t live any longer. evan does not fit into any of these categories when he comes in. among the myriad failings of the medical system, lack of access and use of primary care is one of the larger contributions to higher emergency department volumes and evan is another data point in a sea of statistics. he comes back to neve’s room with a sly grin plastered on his face and states that he’s new to the area and can’t get into a new primary care for a few months. his daily asthma inhaler is out and he needs to renew the prescription and get a referral to a clinic.

there’s nothing on the surface that identifies this man as a threat. he’s almost charming and he’s nontoxic appearing–a nice easy patient in a sea of sick people is sometimes a great relief. they make some small talk and it’s the usual stuff she chats about with patients: ‘where’re you from?’ ‘where did you go to school?’ he expresses an interest in nursing and she recommends the program she attended at the hospital she now works. there’s almost a tension there, and when he makes a casual comment about the tan line on her finger she tells him that she doesn’t wear her engagement ring at work because it can tear the gloves. that’s only half right. maybe he can sense the rest of the truth; she’ll wonder that later when she pieces together every scrap of something she can use to blame it on herself.

he sends her a message on facebook, which makes her lips curl downwards in uncertainty. even that isn’t entirely alarming. it opens up reminding her that he’s knew to the area, and that he’s interested in the nursing program she went to. it’s a surprise, but he makes mention of a girlfriend’s wifi and he even asks how shane is doing. he loves her dog and mentions wanting one himself. sure, it’s a little weird–unconventional–but neve has always been interested in helping others find nursing and agrees to meet him for coffee to discuss the program. when they meet, she sees the mistake inherit in it before she even opens the cafe door. he’s disheveled and hyperverbal when he speaks to her and she can barely get a word in edge wise. between the gift he’s brought her and the intensity of his stare, she wonders how she could have read him so wrong. it’s then that he drops the bomb that makes her stomach sink into the trench it detonates in–will they take him in the nursing program with a record? she doesn’t ask, but he provides the details anyway. death threats to some girl he barely knew that wouldn’t leave him alone, he paints the canvas well, but she can read between the lines. evan stevens is dangerous and his lethal eye is trained on her.

she makes an excuse to leave–the first of many excuses, the illusion of being unavailable, unattainable. it’s the advice she’s given to women before, but never had to follow. those words offered to women in distress seem so trite now, so hollow. there is so much fear in cutting ties slowly–the strategic approach to keep an impulsive person like that from escalating. she wishes she could take those clinical offerings of textbook wisdom back from those women and hold their hands. she wonders how many of them still live. he starts blowing up her phone constantly. he comments on all her social media. all day and all night. if she doesn’t respond, he threatens suicide. some days he asks if she’s working and says he brought her lunch. if she says she’s sick, he asks for her address to bring her tom yum takeout from the restaurant she’s posted about on instagram. everything makes her sick now.

A FINAL GIRL IS FORGED ALONE ; THERE IS NO SUBVERTING FATE

god, it’s hard to speak about. she can’t even let the words reach her tongue, lips and teeth to birth them. they shrivel and die in her throat, festering there until she swallows them and they rest in her stomach like great stones. she wonders if evan will cut her stomach open like a wolf and find the rocks there. that’s not how the story goes; she tells herself so many versions as she lies awake in the dark afraid to sleep.

when she finally tells her friends–a smattering of girls and guys from nursing school, the er, and her neighborhood–the response is like the knife she dreams about in her gut. she shows some of the girls at her work his picture, worried that he’ll come in asking about her. she’s chided by these friends, “he’s actually pretty cute, florence nightingale” they joke. “it must be flattering to have the attention.” even shane suspected that there’s some indulgence on her part. that maybe she likes trying to fix people who are broken so much that she gets some sick reward from the experience. he doesn’t speak the words, but neve is fluent in shane stone. he says it in his eyes, the downcurve of his lips, the tense way he sighs when her phone dings over and over again during date nights.

on a cold night in december, neve works on meal prepping alone in the kitchen. evan has been out of town helping his mother remodel her kitchen and neve feels like she can finally breathe in the space he’s left behind. turning on the wireless speaker, she tries to pair her phone to play music as loud as the thin walls of her father’s modest northeast portland home will allow and instead hears, in the cold, robotic voice ‘pairing with neve’s iphone and evan’s iphone.’ robocop doesn’t even lift his head in suspicion the whole night. she calls 911, but they find neither hide nor hair of him. in the morning, neve nails the windows shut and buys a gun–a smith & wesson .357 snub nose revolver. the weight of it is heavy in her hands and she buys a membership to a gun range, calling into work and practicing until shane returns. she doesn’t tell him about the gun and she stops telling him how bad things have gotten with evan. the click of his tongue and disapproval in his eyes is more dooming than a death sentence and she can’t bear to bring further disappointment. neve channing is a strong woman–a smart woman. things like this don’t happen to women like her. the nightmares begin, but they’re different this time. she can’t tell if they’re coming true this time or if it’s only her anxieties, amplified and strange.

somehow, evan is everywhere and he knows all her secret places as if he exists as an extension of her. maybe he even believes he is–sending her voice messages about how they’re connected. they are the same; they are foils of one another. he send her a picture of his ouroboros tattoo from a new number after she finally blocks him. ‘we are the same.’ he is an all-consuming, devouring force, but she is not a serpent’s tail. he is moloch–besmeared with blood, the great, horrid king–but she is not a child and she will not be sacrificed for sins she has not committed. he has not right and there’s only one way she can see this ending as the days grow longer. like life itself begins, this too will end in blood.

LOVE IS A HARD KNIFE ; A GIRL CAN’T STOMACH AMBROSIA

there is a consequence to every action and every inaction. every little thing she chooses not to tell shane fester and boils. the late nights at work and the new passcode on her phone seem more to shane like cheating than a worsening of some creep’s obsession. she hasn’t even mentioned evan to him since the trees started blooming again. when he elects to cheer her up and bring her lunch during a shift she traded so she could practice at the gun range, his suspicions deepen and while she sleeps that morning, he rifles through her work bag and finds alongside her locked cell phone the cold steel of a secret that he cannot abide by.

it’s not his fault either and she means that from the bottom of her heart. every kindness from the stones feels like another debt and neve can’t help but let the resentment fester in the tasteful diamond on her finger. when she looks upon his face now all she can see is death and it’s the world’s cruelest joke, because she’s the one with cemetery dirt underneath her fingernails. she can’t tell which of the two of them she resents more and they both deserve lives where ghosts stay buried and the dead don’t whisper malcontent in her ears while she struggles to fall asleep. nightmares are her own warm milk; she’s sick of the cold metal of a gun as she moves it from her night stand to her purse each morning. she’s tired of being made to feel like she had a stake in any of this.

it’s not the kindest way to leave a man, but she’s not sure she’s ready to face him again after all that’s happened. she leaves her house keys with her cousin paloma and packs up shane’s stuff. paloma has just started nursing school and can use neve’s father’s old house to sublet. the rent’s free and she’s always been gentle hearted. neve can’t think of anyone better to care for her father’s old house. with dear john letters to both shane and the hospital, neve takes robocop and enough of her things to fit into her subaru forester. it’s not goodbye. it’s never goodbye, she thinks as she hugs paloma on the modest porch. it still feels so permanent, but neve tells herself that big decisions always do. she yearns to discover who she is outside of grief and fear and love. a daughter cannot bloom in her parents’ shadows and she is suffocating underneath the gentle love of the mourning glory.

on the road without a real plan–because if she doesn’t know where she’s going, then neither does evan–neve signs on for a travel nursing company. the first assignment she considers is salem hospital an hour south and it’s a great department, but it’s too close to home. he’ll find her there easily. st. charles in bend isn’t far enough away either. it doesn’t feel like enough of a difference and none of them do until she’s cruising down the interstate through blythe, california and she sees a listing for a emergency department in oldgate, louisiana. it feels like it could be the right place to burn and be born again.

A GIRL AND HER DOG; SOMETIMES PEACE IS ITS OWN KIND OF PRISON

the cool steel of the snub nose .357 revolver lies buried beneath her registration and owner’s manual in the glove compartment. she wonders briefly as she pulls out her sunglasses and slips a salty french fry into her mouth. the car stereo fades in and out along the highway, switching between some smooth-talking radio host and the tinny crooning of buddy holly. it makes her think of her father, and she blinks back tears–plugging in her iphone to switch to a tune that doesn’t bring back such painful memories. robocop whines in the backseat and neve discovers that she’s hardly far away from oldgate, but her gps is out of service.

there’s no sense in pulling over and pulling out the map of louisiana she purchased from a disinterested teen in the first gas station she’d come across in the state. there’s only two days before the job starts and, according to her recruiter, they’d already moved the orientation up a day, cutting her time to adjust to her new ( temporary ) place before work in half. taking a long drink of coffee–now as cold as her french fries–she blinks hard to keep awake and just when she thinks she’ll have to pull over and sleep in her car huddled close to robocop’s warm, furry body.

neve has spent three peaceful months in oldgate. the gun no longer lives shoved into the bottom of her work bag or nestled into the glove compartment of her subaru. now it spends its days in solitude in the coffin-like drawer of her bedside table. evan will never find this place, she is almost sure of it. he might be looking for her, but he’s not looking for oldgate. some evenings on her long strolls to work, she smiles and closes her eyes–listening to the soothing sounds of the town. she’s learning more about herself in this town and more still about the hidden world around her. perhaps she’ll renew that travel contract.

wanted connections.

i. friends ! i’d love to see someone who has taken to showing her around oldgate, someone she meets up with regularly for drinks, or goes to the dog park with her.  ii. i would really love a relationship where they aren’t enemies to friends / lovers, but there is a certain amount of shit talking between the two of them. maybe they did dislike one another at first, but now they both try not to admit that they actually like one another’s company. iii. someone who is perhaps a regular at the emergency department, either for themselves or a family member. either way, neve and this person see one another often and there’s a budding friendship from it.