#Iron Dad & Spider Son

[ivvyela]

listen idk what to think of rdj as doctor doom but i DO know the irondad & spider-son ao3 tag is about to get crazy

[spiderbae2319]

“The Uncle Ben Effect” - The principle that dictates any parental figure of Peter Parker will undoubtedly croak. (likely in front of him)

Richard and Mary? Dead.

Uncle Ben and Aunt May? Dead.

Tony Stark? Dead.

Fucking Quentin Beck who only PRETENDED to care about Peter in order to steal and try to kill him. Within days the man was in the ground.

Jesus Christ can this child have a family PLEASE!

[that-agender-from-pluto]

I just read the best Peter parker whump fics ever

And I fell in love with a new authors writing style

So a good time all around

[wynnd-citrus]

Main drawing for my next comic (posting in two segments bc it’s too long for a single post)

[itscrazycasey]

Peter: TONY TONY TONY TONY

Tony: No, you cannot borrow my iron man suit for high school hero day.

Peter: NO THAT ISN’T IT!

Tony, turning around: What is it t- is that a knife?

Peter, gesturing at the knife in his side: YEAH! I got stabbed!

Tony, panicking: WELL WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU AT THE HOSPITAL-

Peter: Because! I wanted to show you! It’s my first stabbing!

Tony: YOU SHOULD NOT BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS!

[spidey-017]

Peter: *almost dies*

Tony: jeez kid, did Rogers teach you your self-preservation skills or something?

Peter: no, my parents did

Tony: kid-

[stxar-pvnk]

(bio father Tony + mother Pepper)

Baby Pete struggling to say words

Peter: Ma...

Pepper: he's going to say mama!

Tony: oh no he's not. Petey pie, say da-da.

Peter: Da...

Pepper and Tony just beaming in excitement

Peter: ...Beryllium!

Pepper: ...

Tony: ...

Pepper: was our kids first words an element on the periodic table, Anthony.

Tony: ...my bad.

[ironspidersblog]

Peter: about to do something dangerous lol

Tony, 20 miles away, sitting up in a cold sweat:

[at1r1-p4rk3r]

Peter; at school and just got in trouble: I swear I'm innocent!

Principal; not amused: That's it. Your aunt passed? I'm calling your parents.

Peter: Haha, good luck with that!

Principal: What?

Peter: My parents are DEAD! *unhinged laughter*

Principal: but I have their phone numbers....

[anyaharveyii]

the first time peter messes up badly enough that tony drops the full name ("peter benjamin parker!"), peter just freezes. he bluescreens for a solid thirty seconds, barely comprehending anything else that tony's saying.

and then he tackles tony in a hug.

and tony jumps 'cause he's obviously startled that they did a complete 180. and peter just starts shaking like a leaf, cause the only people who've ever called him by his full name using that particular tone were people like may, and people like ben, and people like his parents—

and peter knows that tony has no idea what he's just done, but it doesn't matter, because that's the moment when peter realizes that he wants tony to think of him as a son.

[justsmth2]

irondad art in 2024

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: can we get a puppy

Tony: no

Peter: why

Tony: we have Harley

Peter: but Harley isn't a puppy

Harley, spinning in circles trying to lick his elbow:

Peter:

Peter: never mind I see your point

[spiderbae2319]

I was sitting in my room when, for no reason, this popped into my head…

Isn’t it devastating that Tony didn’t live to see Riri and her Ironheart suit

Now she’ll never get a mentor/superhero dad and a swath of super-pseudo-siblings

Just because Peter didn’t want to be the next Iron man, didn’t mean no one did…

[marionluth]

Tony: Have you ever considered TRYING to be careful when you're spider-Manning?

Peter: Life's too short for careful.

Tony: Life's even shorter without careful, kid! Drunk Spider-Manning? Really?

Peter: You once entertained party guests by doning your armor and shooting glasses they threw in the air.

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: This is one of those do as I say not as I do moments.

Peter:

Tony:

Peter: I regret nothing.

Tony: I'm telling Pepper.

Peter: I'm going to my room to think about my actions and thoroughly repent.

Tony: There's some good use of your Spidey-sense.

[wynnd-citrus]

nearly forgot to post this onto my tumblr today (im so used to just posting to IG and then being done but i must now take care of my tumblr page too hehe)

[ghoststillhaunting]

My current favorite hobby is to make my own incorrect marvel quotes cause I think I'm so fucking funny

Here are some of my favorites :)

~

After a rough mission

Steve: whew! well that was crazy! I definitely need a smoke after that. Anyone got a cigarette I can bum off them?

Sam: uh Steve? aren't you asthmatic?

Steve: I mean I was? but what does that matter?

Bruce: cause cigarettes have been known to cause asthma...

Steve, who was prescribed cigarettes specifically to TREAT his asthma: What

~

Tony: Hey Steve. what'cha reading there?

Steve: Oh! it's this short horror story called I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. It's about this AI that gains consciousness and sets out to destroy humanity.

Natasha: sounds right up your ally Tony

Tony: That's not funny 😐

~

Tony: Now I do believe that capitalism can work-

Steve, who literally grew up during the Great Depression: I don't. It has done nothing but fuck us over and is the disease at the core of America.

Interviewer, taking notes: "Captain America is a communist" got it.

~

Tony: hey kid! what're your plans for Christmas?

Peter: Uh me and Aunt May don't really celebrate for Christmas

Tony: WHAT!? WHO WOULD EVER DEPRIVE A CHILD OF THE SWEET JOYS AND WONDERS OF CHRISTMAS???

Peter: Mr. Stark...I'm Jewish.

Tony:...oh

~

Steve: Hey Peter! Hey Ned!

Ned: omg Captain America knows my name!

Peter: Ned, you have dinner with us. Every Friday. Of course he knows your name.

Ned:...I know but it's still CRAZY

~

Tony: Peter. You must learn the consequences of your actions therefore I have no choice but to punish you. You aren't allowed in the labs for a month.

Peter: OH SO YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF

Tony: PETER

Peter: NO NO I SEE HOW IT IS YOU HATE ME AND WANT ME DEAD

Tony: PETER YOU RECREATED A LIGHTSABER AND SLICED THE COUCH INTO TWENTY PIECES

Peter: GOD I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE

~

Tony: Kid WHY and HOW do you know how to use a gun???

Peter:...I play a lot of call of duty?

Tony: this is the closest i have ever been to wanting to punt a child

~

Steve: Jesus Tony stop being such a cunt!

Tony: 😦

Peter: ATE

~

Bucky: Peter...do you think i'm gay?

Peter:....you are wearing a rupaul muscle tee

Bucky:...you didn't answer my question :(

~

Interviewer: What are your thoughts on immigration?

Steve: my parents were immigrants...what do you think my thoughts are?