#Insurance will probably cover it anyways ...
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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nnnnggghh are these ppl fuckling stupid wtffffff
#i cant fucking beieve it oh my goood!#so ive sent 3 emails and called them twice - my doctor's office#i need 3 documents from them for my health insurance so my top surgery will be covered#so 2 documents of these are just results of test they've done. easy roght. zhey hv these pdfs ready sitting somewhere in their software#i even added the dates the tests were taken so they could easily find them and just add them to the reply email and send it to me#the 3rd document is an evaluation so that might take some time to write. maybe 3 hrs max if my doctor rly puts his whole pussy in.#i don't hear anything after a week. i send a 2nd email. i hear nothing so after 2 days i call. the nurse on the line says it's being taken#care of. or smth along these lines. i hear nothing so the next monday i write a 3rd email. i hear nothing. today it's been 3 weeks#since i first contacted them. i call them again. the nurse tells me they sent everything in the mail last week. why tf are you sending it i#the mail instead of just replying to my fuxcking email???? anyweay then the nurse says oh it looks like we sent you only 2 instead of 3#documents. she tells me she'll send everything in an email today. i hang up i get dressded i rush downstairs to check the mailbox.#the letter is there i rip it open. it's only 2 documents. like. WHAT. i made an indented list numbered 1) 2) 3) in my email so it would be#easy to spot that i need THREE documents. how tf can you think oh yeah the patient wants 3 documents. but i'm putting 2 in the enverlope no#this is right and im not making a mistake now. anyway after 2 hrs i get an email w 3 documents in them. i finally feel relief bc my#health insurance wants that shit until next tuesday. mind you i reached out to them THREE weeks ago and i contacted them 5 times in total.#i open the files. only one (1) document is actually what i need and it's one of the lab tests. the 2nd lab test i need is not there. instea#there's a completely different lab test. from a different year (i literally wrote the fuking dates so they knew which tests i need!!!)#the evalutation i need which i thgoiught might take a max of 3 hrs to write is 2 sentences long. it doesn't address the actual issue that i#need evaluated. it took you THREE wekks to write 2 sentences that are WRONG??????#are yiou fuckihg stipouzds!! am i going insane like wtf is going on#i can use this to wipe my ass but not to hand it in for the health insurance!!!! *screams*#now i sent them another email (the 4th email) asking them to send me that test results that i need. i added the full name of the test#and the date it was taken. even checked my calendar to double check i got the right date. these ppl probably fucking hate me now#but. do your fuxking job!!! how can you not read how can you take 3 weeks to add 2 pdfs to an email and then one of them is the wrong one!!#idk what's going on but i suspect maybe they don't hv the results? maybe the tube was lost in the mail or it was too little blood to do the#test or the lab couldn't do the test for other reasons. but if this is the case. why do they not fucking tell me that?? l#like we are all adults i get that sometimes stuff doesn't work out or mistakes are made i promise i'm not mad (initially) i just want to#work together w you to find a solution#same w the evaluation. i suspect the dr doesn't hv the expertise or he can't fucking read idk but if he doesn't hv the expertise#instead of not replying for 3 weeks and then writing some 2 sentence bs that has nothing to do w what i need. you could've just told me you
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Going through another Worrying about being abandoned by a fictional character moment 🙃
#negative#thankfully it's 2 am so i don't have tk worry about feeling too guilty for posting this lol#< still feeling a little bit guilty but still#anyway I have been up with some stomach issues and my paranoia is really bad right now#it's now moved from What if slenderman is at the fridge to What if Zooble doesn't actually love me at all#and would gladly leave me for someone else#seeing so much ship art of them with other characters today didn't help at all :[#I know it's probably stupid for me to be this way#but like. what if I'm not good enough for them? what if they want someone who's thin and pretty and feminine?#what if I'm too annoying?#I'm sitting here worrying that I'm not good enough for even a fictional character#maybe this is how I convince insurance to cover therapy for me again lol#anyway ummmm fuck 👍
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if i have to see one more post about disney from people who don't work here or at least live in the area i'm gonna lose it
#saw a post that was talking about how disney doesn't actually care about queer people#and while like. yeah. i mean. i guess sorta that's true? but also they do pay for trans healthcare#for employees. btw. no other employer i've ever had has explicitly covered that in my insurance#also working here has EASILY been the job where i feel the most comfortable being trans since i came out#and where i get misgendered the least. it still happens and it's been an issue but like#overall it's better here. disney also lets me use my preferred name on everything#universal did not do that btw at universal i was forced to display my deadname to everyone at my location#so it's not as black and white as 'disney hates queer people' and i'm not trying to be a bootlicker i'm just stating these facts#that people probably don't know? at least people don't seem to know this?#but it's easily the most supportive work environment i've ever been in#and yeah a LOT of that depends on location and leadership and other things. i have trans coworkers who have struggled more than i have#but like. overall. i don't think people realize that it's actually a pretty halfway decent place to work#and yeah there's some HUGE issues but it's an oversimplification to say that it's just The worst and should be burned down etc.#and it's like yeah i KNOW it's the bare minimum but it's still more than i've gotten anywhere else i've worked#and yes a lot of it is also due to the union's hard work here and not the company itself but still#the fact that the people making posts like that clearly do not actually live here or know anything about how things work here#i'm just like. please shut up you don't even know what you're talking about#this post i saw earlier had people in the replies STILL spouting the 'disney will just pack up and leave lol and then where will the florid#economy be?' and they sound so fucking stupid like what the everloving fuck do you mean move somewhere else#people think it's a little theme park as if it's not the literal size of san francisco???#anyway i'm just in general begging people online to shut up about things they don't know shit about.#like. you don't have to have an opinion on everything. you can just. shut up.#anyway that's my ranty tags post for the day bye#win rambles
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ughhhhhh i really want to get a new piercing but i can't decide on what i wantttttt
#cant do any oral piercings rn (sad! theyre what i want the most) bc one day i may get braces or jaw surgery. if i ever get dental#insurance that will cover it that is...... but i rlly rlly want snakebites. but i should wait.#thinking i want smth ppl can see over my mask so no more nose piercings rn. maybe eyebrows? or like ears obviously but there's too#many for ears for me to decide what's best. maybe just a second lobe piercing? or a daith. idk ive just been thinking on it for a few#weeks and i kinda just want smth new#or maybe i should get a tattoo....... actually no i feel like i could not handle getting tattoos until i plan out every detail of#everything abt them. or maybe not. hmm idk i'd like for things to be cohesive bc i do have Plans that will probably never come to#fruition abt what i want tattoo-wise but maybe i should just say fuck it and get smth anyway#or maybe i should just paint my nails and see if the urge to get permanent changes goes away (i doubt it but who knows)
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Yang got me thinking about Sho never having had a backup plan despite the doubt of him doing much with his life which is why he panicked so much when he first got diagnosed at 17 and thought his career was over. How he was too stubborn and proud in a way to tell his friends about it, losing touch with them after graduating because he had nowhere to live and then was deep undercover. He’s terrified of being vulnerable or being perceived as weak because it would be utilized against him in a heartbeat.
#; probably being slapped by a dog (ooc.)#thinkin about him literally not being able to afford only having one job#of course he became a hero for reasons other than money especially being payed on commission#and he’s definitely put away several villains before they could become a noticeable threat to any top heroes#or at least a noticeable threat to the richer parts of the country#idk if ua health insurance would cover drastic shit like usj at least in policy Nezu probably covered it anyway but#look I’m just sick n worried about money therefore I’m projecting
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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i wanna get my tonsils removed but that's an embarrassing surgery to get as an adult
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guess who's having ANOTHER surgery
#laporoscopy or. however u spell it. and this time i'm not covered by insurance lmfaoooooo#anyway.#also i am again panicky about the situation in my abdomen. don't look up fluid in abdomen folks. don't do it!#according to google i should have liver disease and be dead already#but i'm trying to be rational and tell myself that it's been 5 years with the exact same symptoms and no change in ultrasounds etc.#so i'm probably not dying. anyway maybe this surgery will find out what's wrong with me.#liz.txt
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Surgery bill popped up on my account... Still processing but hopefully I don't have to foot the $6500 bill....
#sure i should probably have gotten an official approval/authorization before hand#but it was happening anyways#also it was billed as preventative/primary care bc of family history#so my surgeon and doc seemed confident insurance should cover... most of it????#idk#lets see how 2025 treats me :'|#personal stuff
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My gynecologist confusing me completely by not using raw violence this time, being overall quite nice, and first and foremost asking me to undressed from my waist Up?? Wtf?
#ok so maybe she just had a bad day last time but i totally got prepared for getting treated quite rudely again#oh no wait another thing that was new was the new medical assistant who checked me in#the old one was always such a mean bitch. this one was nice?#and then when i got to the doctor she (the doctor) actually said hello and asked me if everything was fine???#instead of immediately going 'undress back there.' which was what i was prepared to do so i just kinda awkwardly stood there#when she was like 'aw how are things? you're just here for a check up? everything else is okay? :D'#????? hello???#anyway then she went 'then you can undress from the waist down OR the waist up first :)'#and i was like?? so i did the waist down thing first since that's the only thing that's actually covered by insurance at my age?#and like i said. she didn't even use raw violence during the exam this time? what Was that???#and then again told me to get dressed again but i could take off my shirt now? so i AKSED in all the confusion#'you actually mean i should take off my shirt right? because i thought that's not covered before 30?'#'yeah yeah you're right but we'll do it anyway :)'#MY BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS WTF IS GOING ON WITH HER???#anyway#no one asked about my weight either and it was overall a chill appointment#was way too 'scared' about this for months for nothing. (I'm not scared of the exam. i just didn't want to get treated like dirt again#but accepted that this was part of it so i was in a very bad mood everytime i thought of it so here we are. all this for nothing.)#(watch me go there next year again thinking it's probably gonna be chill but everyone will be mean and passive aggressive again lol)#void screams#i also didn't have to pay for the breast exam which i almost assumed because why the fuck would she do an exam for free???#ugh whatever#I'm still so confused#i have so much work now though
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Is it terrible that I don't feel bad?.... Like, at all?
#The richies are moving to my home and making the cost of living skyrocket into hell and they're ruining the mountains and destroying the#Environment because they want to literally look down on us .. common folk.... But poor things I guess?#i dont care#you get what you give#eat the rich#class divide#class disparity#Insurance will probably cover it anyways ...#wah wah wah#That's karma#I don't feel bad#karma#eat the fucking rich#class differences#classism#class issues#classist#cost of living#cost segregation#cost efficiency#cost reduction#economic#million#working class#ranting#rant
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Found a new best song
"best song" being a compilation rather then a list. There is no particular order to what I consider "best song".
ANYWAY
youtube
#music#youtube#imposter syndrome probably#that's what it makes me think of when I listen to it#I probably need a lot of therapy...#I don't think my insurance covers that...#ANYWAY GOOD SONG :D#Youtube
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wait this is so fun ive literally been looking into ketamine therapy. gonna jot this anecdote down in the “pros” column
they should invent a depression 2 that you unlock once you’ve had regular depression for long enough. im bored with this i want new and different symptoms. just for some variety. you get it
#also give it up for tumblr user tamsong for not being annoying on this post!!#I so appreciate it#anyway ketamine therapy is probably not in the cards for me in the foreseeable future given that my insurance doesn’t cover it#but if I ever get the chance I’m definitely gonna#op
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Hi Mae! I was in a car accident yesterday (car took most of the damage, I’m ok other than bruises and sore muscles) and the whole thing has been a whirlwind of insurance and hospital and half asleep crying. I was wondering if I could request James potter x reader for comfort in a situation like that? I’m going through it rn lol hope you’re having a good day :)
Oh I'm sorry lovely! I had a very similar thing happen a little over a year ago, it's sooooo exhausting even when luckily no one is seriously hurt. Thanks for requesting, hope you're having a good/better day too <33
cw: past car accident, no details but talk of general aftermath of police questioning, insurance, etc.
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 799 words
The way James half-jogs up to the automatic doors of the hospital, seeming caught between walking and running, feels like someone is pressing down on the bruise of your chest. You wish you’d called him sooner.
“James,” you call as he comes in, hating how your voice cuts through the taut quiet of the waiting area. It’s worth it for how his whole self softens when his eyes find you.
He slows to a fast walk the rest of the way to you, the urgency slowly leaving him—which is appropriate, there is no urgency, everything has happened already—like an engine running out of steam. You stand as he nears, and both of you reach for each other before James hesitates. His hands stop midair, his brow tightening for a moment, before they come tentatively to your elbows.
“Hi,” he says, squeezing. “How bad is it?”
“For me or the car?” you joke.
“You.” James is feeling too earnest for joking, it seems. “Well, both of you. But you first.”
You really thought you’d cry when you saw him. Worried you’d make a whole scene, blubbering and inconsolable, but you don’t seem to have any tears left. It makes sense, you suppose; you’ve cried a lot in the past few hours. First the slow, shaky kind right after getting out of your car, and then a real cry when a police officer had pulled you aside to get your version of events. (It had been embarrassing. She’d been nice about it, though.) Now, you wait for the tears to come, but for all your relief at seeing your boyfriend you feel rather dried up.
It makes you wish, once again, that you’d called James sooner. You’d wanted to, of course, but you’d been nearly certain you’d be even less capable of holding yourself together if he were there, and there wasn’t much reason for him to be anyways. He was at work and you weren’t terribly hurt, so there was really nothing he could have done while you were talking to the police and the tow company and the paramedics and attempting not to drown in an overwhelm of insurance information. The only thing you really wanted him for was to hold your hand.
“I’m okay,” you say, the necessary preface. “A bit bruised up. My chest got the worst of it.”
Unconsciously, your hand comes to your sternum as if to demonstrate, gravitating towards the center of the ache. James’ hand follows, seemingly just as thoughtless as it covers your own. He can’t see the bruise, but he makes a low, sad sound anyway.
His care softens your voice. “They said my neck will probably hurt tomorrow, but it doesn’t yet.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” James sounds really, truly heartbroken for you. “And the rest, it hurts a lot?”
You shrug. What’s a lot? You know you could’ve had worse, much worse; still, you could do without that frightening soreness that comes with each breath.
“It’s not too bad,” you say. “I could still hug.”
It’s the question he’s been dying to ask, clearly. James’ arms are around you in a second, ardent but still gentle, palms pressing to the high and low points of your bag. It’s a good hug. You melt a little against him.
James tucks his face into the side of your neck, like he’s trying to get as much contact with you as he can. “I wish you’d called me when it happened.”
“You were at work.”
“I’d have left work.”
“There wasn’t anything you could do. I was fine, I just had to…” a little sigh escapes you, exhaustion creeping in now that he’s here “...talk to people. Insurance and all that.”
James makes a soft, half-agreeing sound. His thumb strokes the base of your neck. “Still. I could have held your hand.”
A new ache rises in the back of your throat, coming to join the rest. You wind your arms tighter around James.
After a few, silent moments, he kisses your neck chastely and loosens his hold. “Ready to go home? Anything else you need?”
You shake your head. “I’m signed out,” you say, so eager you feel like you could float out the doors. You hope you can entice James to lie in bed with you when you get home. You think you’ll sleep until tomorrow. “Let’s go, please.”
“Alright, you don’t have to say please, sweetheart.” James curls an arm around your shoulders, pressing a smile into your cheek. “We can go. You need one of those wheelchairs for me to take you out to the car?”
“Ha ha,” you say drily. “No.”
“Just checking. Think maybe I ought to ask for one, just in case?”
“James. I will take your car home without you in it.”
“Alright, lovie, I’m coming.”
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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Do you ever wonder if the Devildom has silly celebrity TV competitions like The Masked Singer?
A bright green peacock costume graced the TV's screen. The costumed celebrity gripped a microphone and swayed as he sang, commanding all attention from the audience.
"This guy's got a great set of pipes." Mammon was on the edge of his seat humming along to the classic tune. "Twenty grimm says he wins the whole season. And another twenty grimm says that it's Chort."
Satan raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that's Chort. Could he even sing? Plus, didn't he disappear because of his massive debts?"
Belphegor nodded. "I heard he's been trying to dig a river for the last six hundred years. The show's hints made this guy seem pretty great. I think it's Vapula.
"You think?" Satan rested his head on his hand and listened. "He's really good."
Hundreds of long feathers splayed out gracefully from the back of the perforner's costume, as if hypnotizing the viewers.
"I'm tellin' ya, it's Chort. He's probably on here to sweep the competition and pay off his debts. Not a bad plan." A scheme began to take shape in Mammon's brain. "If I call these production guys, they'll be beggin' to have someone like me on next season."
Asmodeus laughed, "you? Maybe in a few seasons after me. I know they're waiting to bring me on as a special guest."
"Wait, really?" Leviathan was only watching in case somebody sang an anime or game cover. Most of the time, he was boredly scrolling his phone and making technical remarks about the costumes. "C-can you take song requests?"
"It's not official yet " Asmodeus clarified, "but I know they'll want me on the show in due time. I'm just worried the mask will hide my true beauty."
The singer finished his performance with a dab and a bow. After racous applause began an excessively long commercial break. Interest in the room dwindled. Nobody cared much about curse insurance.
You hugged a cushion to your chest. Being unfamiliar with Devildom celebrities meant you couldn't play along, but listening to everyone's guesses was still enjoyable.
"That guy reminds me of Lucifer."
Belphegor and Satan made faces like they had just swallowed a frog. There was a beat of silence, then everyone in the room collectively went, "Nah."
"Where is he, anyway?" you asked.
"He said something about a favor for Lord Diavolo," Beelzebub replied through a fistful of buttered popcorn. "Won't be back until late."
"Ah."
When commercials ended, the show began to wrap up. The peacock costume reappeared as the judges tried their hardest to guess his identity. Despite its flat plastic eyes, the costume had a majestic air to it. The masked man still drew eyes even when standing still.
"Last chance for betting," Mammon said. He shook his coin purse. Nobody took up his offer.
With plenty of suspense, the emcee began to remove the contestant's mask. There was a solid minute of the camera panning between the stage, the audience, and the judges.
"Hurry up already." Belphegor tossed a piece of popcorn at the TV.
"I can't believe this!" the emcee shouted.
Asmodeus impatiently squeezed his hands together. "Well? Who is it!?"
"It's...!"
Confetti cannons and bright lights obscured the mystery man's face, yet the audience was going wild.
"I can't believe it!" The emcee screamed.
"If they cut to commercials again, I'm leaving," Satan sighed.
Thankfully, there were no more commercials. There were no more pans to the audience or the judges. There was only one person in the camera's focus.
"Your ruler of hell, the Avatar of Pride himself, the great Morning Star! It's... Lucifer!"
There was a sudden chorus of exclamations. "What!?"
Aside from the television, the House of Lamentation became dead silent. Beelzebub stopped, slowly lowering his hand of food while transfixed on the screen. Asmodeus looked like he was about to cry, having his position on the show stolen first by Lucifer. Mammon looked confused and swiveled his head around, stunned, as though his brothers were pranking him. Belphegor narrowed his eyes with displeasure.
You cautiously eyed Satan, ready to command him to stay if things got out of hand. He just stared at the screen coldly.
Leviathan was first to break the silence. "Wait, really? Lucifer's the peacock?"
"I knew it sounded like Lucifer," you bragged. You raised your arms victoriously. Your cushion flopped onto the floor.
Beelzebub was the only one to commend you. "Good job, I had no idea."
"So it wasn't Chort or Vapula." Belphegor began to drag himself off the couch. "Well, that was unexpected. I'm going to bed."
"What's the prize for this show? How much's he winnin'?" Mammon asked.
"Probably nothing. It's a small appearance fee and the rest is just exposure," Asmodeus explained. Him and Mammon both hung their heads.
Satan got up to grab the remote, mashing the power button until it clicked off. "This show sucks. Let's find something else to watch next week."
#instead of a peacock he'd probably be dressed as a sentient whip#a favor for diavolo indeed (guest judge diavolo)#obey me#obey me!#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me scenarios#obey me swd#obey me fanfic#obey me brothers#obey me fic#obey me writing#obey me drabble#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me fandom#obey me headcanon
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