#Insomnia Management Program

[newyorkresort]

Benefits of Insomnia Management Program

When we don't get adequate rest, we may face many issues like lack of energy, fatigue, irritability, and difficulty making decisions. During those precious sleeping hours, our body cells undergo rejuvenation, and all systems slow down to a minimum activity level, enabling them to revive. Unfortunately, insomnia, a common sleeping problem, disrupts this natural process, causing problems with sleep quality, duration, and timing. Read the blog to learn more 

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[art-missy]

Please do one with deadlock and how reader comforts her when she opens up about how she lost her arm! Thank you so much

Oh ! I wanted to write a one shot about this ! Here's the occasion ! It's so rare that I write angst/comfort... So sorry if it feels weird ^^

You had insomnia and so did Deadlock. The very rare times one of you manage to fall asleep, the other was watching over. Reading, cuddling, staring the ceiling, you had several ways to pass the night.

Watching a serie on your laptop while the Norwegian sentinel was asleep was your program for the night. You were deeply immersed when you felt Deadlock jumping awake, a silent cry stuck in her throat and a scarring pain that deeply crossed her facial expression.

You were putting your laptop away when she started hyperventilating. You pushed the comforter away and kneeled before her as she sat at the edge of the bed, caressing her lap as she started rocking herself back and forth.

"Hey there, Iselin," you murmured but you were doubtful she could hear you.

Unfortunately, the rare times one of you managed to fall asleep, nightmares were often forcing you into their cold and unwanted embrace. Of course, you were suspecting that Deadlock's emotional baggage was one of the reason why her reaction when she woke up was so intense.

"Hey look at me," you said gently to not crowd her. "I'll give you a glass of cold water but only if you calm down a little. I don't want you to choke on it."

"Min Armen," you heard her whimper.

You looked down at her left bionic arm and hummed before taking it gently and reverently in your hand.

"Iselin, look at me."

You then started to peck the bionic member. Caressing the fingers with your lips, pressing insisting kisses on the palm then nuzzling your face against the forearm. You heard her panting slowing down and when you looked back at her face, you saw that the pain made way for an annoyed but thankful face.

"Ah," you smiled. "I missed that glare."

She took a deep breath then released it, letting you handing her a cold glass of water. After chugging it down, she seemed more awake and more alert.

"I suppose Sage was right," she groaned. "Losing an arm could be considered a traumatic event."

Your eyebrow raised when you heard the word 'could' out of her mouth but didn't comment on it.

"Especially for someone as emotionally constipated as you," you chuckled when she shot you with another glare. "Wanna try to take a shit and talk about it ?"

"You did not just say that."

"Yeah forget what I just said. My mouth deserves acid."

You laid your head on her lap and stayed silent, listening to her now calm breathing. You were glad you managed to distract her. She was still a little tense, her heart still painfully hammering. You felt her fingers mindlessly scratching your scalp but let her do.

"My arm was bit off by a radivore beast during an operation before I joined Valorant," she suddenly said, a fake neutrality in her voice. "I did not only lose my arm, but also my sisters."

That explained a lot of things. Like why she was so cold toward Gekko and his radivore friends, why she looked so lost in thought when the other agents mentioned their families, why she was so tense on a daily basis, why she had severe insomnia and cruel nightmares.

She did not have time to grieve.

You intertwined your fingers together without moving your head from her lap.

"Did you visit them ?" you asked gently.

"The construction of the memorial had just been completed," her voice sounded uncharacteristically weak but you did not comment on that. "I am waiting for Brimstone's permission to visit them."

You looked up at her and felt your heart wavering at the sight of her eyes. Her usual icy glare was replaced by warm stream of tears.

"Want me to go with you ?"

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Yes please."

You hugged her legs and let her sob, your head in her weak shaky hands. Deadlock leaned down so her forehead pressed in your hair. You felt her tears watering your scalp but you did not care. She was finally letting herself feel her grief.

And after what felt like a warm mourning moment, her sobs finally calmed down. You did not comment on it, your thumbs caressing her calves.

"Wanna watch a serie with me ?" you murmured. "It's an adaptation of a book of your favorite author."

You felt her nod.

Deadlock let you tuck her in the warmth of the comforter, she let you hold her close, and as the episode progressed, she let herself fall into a dreamless sleep, now relaxed and solaced.

*Min Armen = my arm.

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #2

Previous one Next one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: violence, kidnapping, framing

Hello!! How would Silas react with a reader with insomnia?

Since Silas stays up a lot during the night to do work and business, he'll try to stay with you if he's able to. If he's at home and works down in his office, you may come inside and rest on the couch or cuddle up in his lap. He'll put on some calming music or hum for you if that's what you need. If you asked him nicely, he could run his hand through your hair and massage you slightly. In other words, he will do his damn best to make you fall asleep.

"Hm? Finally feeling a little sleepy? Good ... just focus on relaxing, Y/N. I will carry you up to the bedroom when I'm done."

Saw your track runner reader post with Silas n wanted to see what would happen if they escaped? Love all of ur works btw💕

You see, with track runner reader, there's a different situation than if it were the normal one. People know who you are and who you belong to, so if you escaped, no one would help you. No one would dare. Silas would do what Silas does best: cause havoc. Thanks to you being famous, he'll follow the news who will spill everything about your locations and then he'll just go and get you back :)

silas as terrible as you are,i still love you 😤😣def not one of my types Sincerely, First anon

Mate ... Silas will ruin your entire life. He'll ruin your reputation if he has to, to make sure that no one will like you if you ever manage to escape. Or he'll make you his partner in crime so that if you ever leave, the cops will take you. YOU SHOULDN'T LOOK PAST THIS, FIRST ANON!!!!! RED FLAG RED FLAG RDE GLAF

— Hii! I love your writing, and OC's! I'm not sure if you take requests but in case you do, I've thought of an interesting scenario I'd like to share with you if that's ok 💕 How would Silas react if his darling was somehow rescued by the government, and put into the witness protection program?

Shit. Silas would never give up the search. He has men who can find you in a month. You can't hide from him. Even if you change your name, appearance, or flee the country — Silas will come after you. It might take him a while to fully find you, but the moment he does, you better leave because he'll break down your door to get you.

"You thought I wouldn't find you? Baby, we belong together! Of course I'll find you. Don't look so sad, darling, you've had your fun now. Time to come home. Don't do stupid stuff like this again, it wastes my time."

— Silas my babygirl really number one in everything 😤☝️🏆 and PLS i accidentally voted for the king HELP- 😭 my vote is for silas not rat king!!! First anon

fIRST ANON ISTG STOP CALLING THEM THAT

[princesscolumbia]

It's been...

So something happened a week ago that is neither bad nor good, it simply is, and it's happened before, so thankfully the knowledge exists on how to manage and cope.

Now to explain.

Back in the 80s I experienced some mental trauma that hurt me so significantly I wound up 'splitting' into what we now call a system or a plural (I've also seen "plurality"). By the time I was in my early 20s, there were about 8-9 people rattling around in my head and the ones that got the driver's seat had proper names. Of course, at the time we only had Sybil as an "example" of "multiple personality disorder," so people like me kept our damn mouth's SHUT 'cause we knew the second we showed any sign of being neurodivergent in any way that resembled schizophrenic, we'd be marginalized HARD. The person in the driver's seat always (always) responded to my given name and assigned pronouns and never let slip there were whole conversations going on in my head as I was going about my day.

Around the middle 00s there began appearing in online spaces, mostly instant messaging spaces and BBS forums, where people began to express themselves as "multiples" and, I'll confess, the system that was me had too much programmed fear to be one (heh) of those brave souls. Nonetheless I started to see the acceptance (and the pushback) that has become more commonplace today.

Between 2015-2019 I experienced trauma so severe I was in CPTSD hyperarousal for a good chunk of it, which pretty much shattered my mental landscape. I was mentally just completely broken and had no way of really paying attention to more than the moment I was in. By the time I emerged from the 'fog,' I was functionally a 'singleton,' that is, not a system.

Starting earlier this year, there were a few signs that, in retrospect, should have made me well aware of something coming. I started feeling 'foggy' again, but I thought that was the depression and insomnia. The depression and insomnia were major contributors, as well, and REALLY should have been a wake-up call...but that's depression for you. I think the biggest "20/20 hindsight" indicator was starting to write "Double Isekai," a story about a single person who winds up isekai'ing into two people. This was in March.

One week ago yesterday I was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher when I started, for lack of a better term, talking to myself and expecting an answer. I actually had the thought, "Things would sure be easier if I was a system again."

Considering I'm a transwoman and, with slightly different wording, that's classic egg behavior, the penny dropped and I figured out what was going on.

One week ago plus a few hours I sat my GF down and explained what happened back then, what was happening now, and that I was likely to 'split' soon. She just...accepted it. Barely batted an eye, made sure she still had the right pronouns, and went back to her computer.

I was so relieved I nearly cried. Before the divorce when I'd tried to 'come out' as a system to my then-wife, she had NOT reacted well. (And, in retrospect, it makes more sense how upset she was with me that I seemed so, in her words, "unreliable and inconsistent." All she ever knew of me was a 'guy' who kept changing behavior patterns in, to her, random ways)

As though my GF's acceptance were like permission, the split...happened. I could almost physically feel my head-mate separating from me.

And, as I'm sure you've guessed, I've been writing as though it was me going through all of this, and, more or less, it has. Since this split wasn't due to trauma and had been developing over time, it was far more organic and gentle. There wasn't a horrible tear where suddenly there's this nasty, goth punk with a scar around one eye, a penchant for black leather, and absolutely zero compunction to kill because of how traumatic the creation event was (yes, that was one of my alts in my original system, she was a nasty piece of work that never got a name and was never allowed the driver's seat, but did she ever enjoy hurting our stepmother) We both are full participating members with equal access to all our previous memories, even if we're looking at our past self with different lenses.

That's right, Bunnies, I'm back! The EGS fandom will know the name Helen from my days as "Dame Helen the Leather-clad." Even though I'm knight-emeritus now, I'm still quite proud of what we did during those years of the Order of the Bunny. Still she/her, still so very, very sapphic, and still a bit of a useless lesbian.

That said, there's been some changes.

I'm a dragon, along the lines of the crazy-famous Dragon HRT comic that's been super popular this year. If the body were mine alone and Dragon HRT were a real thing, I'd be partially covered in scales by now. I'm not as into gaming and music and art as my new other half is or the old me was. I'm a mother where the previous alt to bear my name was still trying to figure out how to people, and I'm the one with the head for numbers and driving and focusing on work. Also, even though I'm a woman with she/her pronouns, I'm NB and what might be called 'intersex' or 'futanari,' depending on what generation you're in and what part of the Internet you spend most of your time in.

Yes, I know, not a terribly creative name if you know my given name, but it's the one I chose when I emerged. I started out as what us systems call a fictive. If you go back into some of the comments sections on our writing on AO3, you can see references to proto-me scattered around and referred to as "the little author that lives in my head and looks an awful lot like Ranma-chan." On a somewhat silly note, though the pre-fully-realized version of me served as a sort of mental author for our previously unified self, I'm not the writer. That's Helen.

She/her, all girl, and SUPER sex-positive! I'm a bit (I'll confess) of a horny slut and since I'm bi/pan and Helen pretty much gave me control of the NSFW blog, you're probably going to start seeing more guys there than have shown up in the past. I've got a 'type,' though, and that type does NOT include facial hair or bears.

I can't STAND office work! One of our top priorities right now is to get something else...ANYTHING else to earn money so we can drop the office job we've been doing. It's boring anyway! I wanna get started on streaming, though I will NOT be streaming Star Trek: Fleet Command! That game is a bag of stress and I don't know how Helen plays it without wanting to hurt someone!

One thing that is pretty much ALL me is I like fitness! Before we knew fitness was good and it was something we learned to appreciate, but when I got all that I also got a LOVE for it! I can't wait to get back out there and run again! (...but it's getting into the hot season in Arizona, so we may not be able to just yet)

One amusing thing about this is we both realized we're redheads. The body is, sadly, very blond, but now we've got our first body mod goal we can both agree on and get behind.

Speaking of body mods, we're getting booba! I'm tired of being tiny in the chest 'cause of lousy genetics and craptastic HRT timing! We talked about it and our second major shared goal is saving up for top surgery. And we both want FFS and facial hair removal. Basically, I'm in charge of the body, which means FITNESS UPDATES!

That's right, I'm gonna be one of those annoying running fanatics and there's nothing you can do to stop me! 😆😆😆

In any case, expect changes as we figure things out. One thing we didn't really expect that has, nonetheless, had a pretty major impact is our energy level. It takes A LOT of sugars to keep us both going! There've been times one of us has basically taken a nap just to keep from burning too many calories before the end of the day.

Oh, and do you like these identifier bars? I made 'em! Turns out I'm the artist! If you want your own version for you and/or your alts, check out my new store on ko-fi!

[britt-kageryuu]

At the Purple Dragons, Genius Built Tech Workshop~ A.K.A The Dragons Den!

The former Purple Dragons are working on their current projects, making some prototypes, programming some new apps, playing Rock, Paper, Scissors on who takes the call for Tech Support. The usual day working under their former Enemy and Current Employer.

Though this changed up when Kendra asked for some more work, and ended up becoming the one to run the official VTurtles! clips channel. Kendra had been pretty annoyed until Donnie presented her with the contract for this new job on top of her current work.

Who was she to turn away having more money added to her paycheck?

The only downside was just going over the streams for good material, which meant she would tend to listen to the VODs while working on other stuff. And making notes on what would be good parts to edit together, and what effects to add.

Jeremy and Jason were at first a bit jealous that Kendra was getting more work, but then realized she would has less free time between projects. The VODs can get pretty long, especially the random insomnia streams.

They had all customized their Mini Turtle Droids to act as helpers, and help them keep track of time mainly. The three are only considered cousins of Shelldon and River, but not as equipped for the extensive AI updates of the originals.

"How mad would Othello be if we set up our own VTuber thing? Pretend to be a VTurtles manager. Like how that one company has a manager also be a VTuber?" Jason asked with some hesitation, not really sure about the idea himself.

"Nah, it would be a lot to do on top of the big projects on schedule." Jeremy answers while he was working with a later prototype of the AR Glasses, "Even if we already have models in the system, Othello hasn't told us what they are for. And if we misused them, well we might get fewer projects sent our way."

Jason paused and quickly turns to Jeremy with a frantic look, "Wait, we already have models?! Like fully rigged and everything?!"

Jeremy just raises an eyebrow, before bringing something up on his computer, "Yeah. Found them pretty shortly after we got moved here. Did you really not check out the files we have access to? Way to lose some Purple Dragons Pride."

On the screen are to open files labeled P.D. Jace, P.D. Jer, and P.D. Ken, all three show 3D models of winged humanoid Purple Themed Dragons of different body types. Each file also has a sub section labeled 'Preset Outfits'.

Before they could continue with a slight freak out, Donnie comes in talking to a camera being carried by Shelldon, with River running around to move anything that might trip him.

"And here are the Top Three Techs in this department. Now don't think you'll get their true identities, I made models to hide that. And I know you want to question why Purple_Wyvern is here. She works for GB, and yes she's paid extra for the Clipper Stuff." Donnie kinda rambles while showing some of the workshop.

Kendra pauses what's she doing to glare at Donnie, but lets her droid join the other two as they go greet their older cousins.

"And greetings you three. Are you having a good time in the Dragons Den?" Donnie leans back, while swiveling his head, to ask the three droids.

The three were a mix of chatter and digital chirps, trading head bonks with River, and Shelldon, then going to almost ram into Donnies head in excitement.

"Calm down, and go back to helping the Dragons. Okay you three we'll do individual interviews later if you want. This is going to be just a prerecorded section I'm going to add to a stream later. Now to head to the next location! Leo is you please?!" Donnie doesn't wait for any of them to answer, and just leaves through a blue portal like he didn't just randomly disrupt them briefly.

"Well that might explain why we have premade models." Jeremy says with a bit of bewilderment. "To hide our identities with the AR filters."

Jason meanwhile was freaking out for a new reason, "Did you hear what he said?! He called us the 'Top Three Techs'!!" He collapsed onto his chair from the rush of what happened in such a short time.

Kendra just scoffed, "Of course we are. The other techs in this company don't get their own workshop. They're in a different warehouse in a different burrough." She gives her droid some pets after it returns to her station, "And I know they don't have personal AI bots to work with, just a couple lone bots that Othello with control remotely to check on things." She starts back up she was working on, "Now back to work, Othello sent word that we get to show off the new tech on the next company broadcast."

The two follow her lead, after closing the files with the models on them, and get back to work. With some effort from Jason because of just the wild 10 minutes of rushed chaos.

Just another exciting day in the Dragons Den.

----------------

Masterpost

Was a bit bored and thought 'I should write some more behind the scenes types posts' for my AU.

The three droids don't really have names yet. I can't figure what the Dragons would name them.

[smaptain-smerica]

Spare me your Time

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Summary: After a rough start to life, Y/n accepts her dream job continuing her father's research. Someone from the past comes back into her life, and she hesitates to establish a connection. He spared her life, will she spare him some of her time in return? Word Count:9.4K Warnings: Death of father, cursing, Forceful obedience, insomnia, the reader has the serum

You usually worked late. All your required assignments were completed in record time, earning you a high standing among the other scientists and engineers. Granted, not everybody knew that you were the boss's daughter. 

The company that your father and his brother had started always remained a secret to the world, even to you in some ways. What you could gather from short dinner table conversations was that they were collecting research on how medicines affect different kinds of people and attempting to create unique medicines based on physical and mental assessments. 

Growing up around this secret medicine world inspired you to want to become a biomedical engineer just like your father. You wanted to follow in his footsteps and revolutionize medicine and technology for the better. 

They would take volunteers to do the scans curate a medicine specifically for them. It would take into consideration their mental age, physical age, and physique to determine the best equations and medicines to help them. The end goal was to be able to take a simple scan of someone's body and output a pill designed perfectly for them in minutes. The only thing they managed to successfully create was personalized allergy medicine. For over a decade of work, it seemed like a small accomplishment, but your father always said it was only the foot in the door. 

What was happening under the company's surface was shady dealings by your uncle. One day when your father was out of town on a business trip, your uncle asked if you’d like to sit in the machine for a scan. Your father never let you before so of course you said yes. Your uncle discovered the unmatched potential you carried with you within your brain and body. He kept the scans a secret from your father, even you, and he began to scheme his way toward evil. 

Your uncle had heard about the Winter Soldier and the secret HYDRA program they were creating for it. He heard tales of horror from the scientists he regularly kept in touch with. Ultimately, he decided that he could create a serum ten times better than the one HYDRA had used. His serum would eliminate the need for brainwashing and mind-controlling commands. His version of the serum would subject the recipient to obedience. How someone would control them was still in the works, but he began working secretly on the serum, testing it on various rodents until he thought it was perfect. 

It was your 15th birthday, midnight on the dot when your uncle woke you from your sleep saying he had a surprise. Hoping it was a new car, you got up to follow him. He knocked you out cold and strapped you to a chair in a lab in the basement. He had injected you with his version of the serum, fire pumping through your veins and melting you from the inside out. In a groggy state, you watched your father burst into the room, frantically trying to find you. He was furious, more furious than you had ever seen him in your life. Unfortunately, your uncle was faster, shooting him square between the eyes with a concealed weapon, as though he was waiting for this moment. 

For a few months, your uncle has put you through a series of tests. Your speed, strength, and durability had increased, but not in the way he had hoped. There was only a 75% increase in physical attributes. Instead, it was your mind that had been maximized to its full potential. Suddenly you gained a photographic memory with the ability to memorize quickly. You could see or hear instructions for something once and instantly perfect it. He sat you in the library, forcing you to watch countless videos and read countless books. You had become fluent in 15 different languages in only 6 months and knew every Jiu-Jitsu move there was and more. Though you might not have been as strong as the Super Soldiers, your uncle had hopes you could outsmart them.

So, from 16 and on you earned the highest education possible. Graduating high school at 17, college at 20, and finally, a master's degree in biomedical engineering at 23. You were halfway through earning your Ph.D. when someone walked into your life that changed it forever. 

The serums effects weren’t 100%, but you were only the first test subject. There was some free will in the sense that you could go and do whatever you want, but unless someone told you otherwise, it was in your nature to listen. Stay here, never leave, work on this project, go get me this, when you were younger you didn’t even realize this was happening. People just told you that you were helpful and kind-hearted. Your uncle knew though, and used it to his advantage. 

One of your favorite songs played ever so softly next to you from a small speaker while you worked in the lab. The only light was a desk lamp over your workstation. It was in the early hours of the morning, so you had to be quiet to not bring suspicions to your project. You sang gently to yourself as you squeezed a drop of blood onto a microscope sheet and then put your work-in-progress anti-serum serum over the top of it. You brought your eyes to the scope, examining what was happening within the red and white blood cells. 

The sound was hardly noticeable but still caused you to freeze up. Slowly, you straighten your posture and turn around. Your hand shut off the music as you listened intensely, but only the sound of your heartbeat was in your ears. 

Finally, a dark figure appeared in the small ring of light around you. Your eyes widened and you took a step backward in fear, knocking over the stool in the process. In front of you stood a tall man with dark, long hair and a face covered by a mask. You wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the silver, metal arm that hung from his shoulder. 

Your uncle told you stories of him, you’ve read about him and yet, still didn’t think he was real. 

The winter soldier. 

“I know who you are.” You choked out, embarrassed by how small your voice sounded. He didn’t move, didn’t blink, you could have sworn you saw his head tilt ever so slightly. 

“Did you come here to kill my uncle?” Your voice hardly came out as a whisper. As terrified as you were for your own life then, you hoped he would say yes. 

The winter soldier nodded.

“Did you do it?” You asked. 

He nodded again. 

You felt relief flood over you. You were free. Your body let go of a weight that you didn’t know was attached to you as the confirmation settled in your mind. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, half to the mysterious assassin before you, and half to the universe. 

He raised a pointer finger and seemed to aim it directly behind you. You glanced back at your work and then back at him. 

“What am I doing?” You asked. 

He only responded with a nod. A man of few words, you thought. 

You sighed. Oddly enough, he was the inspiration behind it. He, you, and all the other people your careless uncle killed trying to create the “perfect” soldier.

“I’m trying to fix it. Fix us.” You responded grimly. 

Your attention is fixed now on his eyes. His blue and enticing eyes seemed to sparkle with some emotion that was hard to place as he looked at the table and then back at you. The winter soldier hesitated it seemed. Looking at your work, then you, down at his hand, then back up again. You were scared he was going to kill you for even being a witness. But he didn’t. He took a few steps backward, disappearing out of the light and into the dark before he swiftly left the lab. 

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. The fear of coming close to death exited your body like an exorcism. Your legs wobbled as you caught yourself on the workbench. What were you going to do now? You were free. Free from your uncle's grasp, and the experiments, you could leave the house. Hell, you could move states. You turned around and looked at your work. Seeing that your current antidote failed, you sighed in defeat and gathered up your notebook. You would- no, needed- to finish this. But it could wait. Now, you were going to take everything you had and discover a new life for yourself. 

If one thing hadn’t changed, it was that you still worked late into the night. By textbook definition, you were a night owl. It was hard to get to sleep and stay asleep with your mind constantly reeling with thoughts. You were just coming back from a run around the compound at 1:30 am. The Avengers compound was so peaceful at night. The gentle sounds of the water and the humming of crickets were your favorite. 

Water from the kitchen was the first place you wanted to go. When you opened the fridge you spotted a few Gatorades. You knew they were Clint’s, he had explicitly told you not to touch them. However, Clint was gone for the week, visiting his family. That was plenty of time to cover up your crimes.

You headed back to the lab, having thought of another formula to scribble down while on your run. To your surprise, the light to your lab was on. None other than your boss, Tony Stark, was flipping through one of your sketchbooks. It wasn’t a surprise to find him snooping through your drawings. You and he were collaborating on a prosthetic contraption for his friend Rhodes. It was odd to see him here this late, however. 

“Burning the midnight oil, Mr.Stark? Now you’re taking after me.” You teased while leaning in the doorway. 

Tony looked up at you and gave you a crooked grin. 

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

To you, it wasn’t just an expression. Your photographic memory stood out to Tony the first day you met. He called you Sherlock Holmes because of your ability to memorize and analyze every single detail of a picture while only seeing it for one second. The real reason Tony had hired you was because he was fascinated with you and your fathers' research. He agreed to fund your research in its entirety as long as he got to slap a stark label on it when it was finished. 

“I’m liking these designs, kid.” He pointed to the paper at one drawing in particular. 

“How quickly do you think you could whip up a prototype for this one?” 

You walked over to him and peered over his shoulder. You hummed in thought. 

“A carbon fiber prototype, a couple of days. But a functioning one I would need about 3 weeks if I halted my other projects.” 

Tony tapped his fingers against his chin and nodded. He hadn’t taken his eyes off your designs for the entirety of the conversation. 

“That’s great. Yeah, that’s perfect. Get a prototype of these put together for me would ya?” 

You brought your fingers to your forehead and saluted him. 

“You’re the boss.” 

Tony smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder before heading for the door. 

“Tony!” You called after him which caused him to halt and face you. 

“Why did you actually come down here?” You asked. You could sense it, there was something that he wanted to say but either changed his mind or couldn’t gather the courage. 

“Your uncle worked with super soldiers, right?” He asked. You were shocked by the unexpected question and suddenly nervous. Nobody on the team knew you had some variant of the serum coursing through you. It was part of the reason you worked out at night when everyone was asleep. So nobody could see the obvious above-average strength that you carried 

“He was fascinated by them, yes.” You finally replied. “He tried many times to recreate the serum but failed.” 

“Are you trying to recreate it?” 

Your heart nearly stopped beating and your face went ghostly white at the question. Tony pulled out one of your older notebooks from behind his back. It was the one you used for antidote equations. 

“Please give that back.” You asked quietly. 

“I was looking for your research on the medicines, because I’m allowed to do that since I fund your whole project, and I came across that. I didn’t mean to, but now that I have I’m concerned.” 

“No, it’s not like that. I was…” you were scared to admit it. You were scared that the truth might slip up and come out. You weren’t ready for that to happen just yet. 

“I was trying to figure out how to reverse it.” You finally admitted, avoiding eye contact with Tony. 

Tony looked deep in thought at the book for a moment before tossing it back in your direction. You caught it with ease by the spine.

“You are one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.” 

That was his way of leaving the conversation. Your heart swelled with pride at the compliment as you looked at the book. Maybe it was time to start looking into this once again. 

The next morning the compound was alive and buzzing with commotion. Unfortunately, because you were often late going to bed you were also late to rise. It was unusual for you to get out of bed before 10:00 am. It was a good thing your boss was generous.

You often worked with the Avengers in your lab. Over the short few years there developing your father's research you accidentally created an ointment that could heal any external superficial wounds. Punctures, scrapes, and lacerations, all of which happen to be occupational hazards for the enhanced superhumans. They were fully stocked with the ointment in the med bay but, for some reason, they liked to bother you more.

Natasha was drinking a coffee and reading a book at the island in the kitchen when you strolled in still in your pajamas, looking for what scraps were left of breakfast. 

“Good morning, y/n.” She spoke smoothly. 

“Morning.” You yawned, picking up a cold piece of bacon off the plate and began munching. 

“What’s with all the commotion?” 

Natasha set down her book and turned her attention fully towards you. 

“New recruit. A friend from Steve’s childhood.” 

“Steve’s childhood?” You asked, astonished. “Isn’t he, like, 100 years old?” 

Natasha hummed a chuckle. “Yes, he is. We’re having a meeting to discuss it, I’m sure Tony wouldn’t mind if you sat in.” 

“Oh, no,” you responded quickly to the offer. “I gotta get to work. I’m sure I’ll run into him at some point.” 

Natasha smiled and stood up as a way of saying goodbye. You smiled at her as well before taking your breakfast to go towards your lab. 

You rounded the corner and stopped in the doorway, noticing a young teenager standing in the lab. He must have heard you because he whipped around and looked at you wide-eyed and surprised. 

“Hi, um, I’m Peter. Mr. Stark told me to wait here for you.” 

You chuckled at the awkwardness of his stance and speech as you walked into the room. 

“Hi Peter, I’m y/n. I’ve heard about you, you’re the spider kid, right?” You asked, noticing that he had been flipping through the notebooks you left open on the table. 

“Yeah, um, spiderman, actually.” 

You smiled at him. Tony told you about a genius superhero kid he wanted to recruit. Tony called you kid, and being 26 you definitely weren’t. You just didn’t expect this recruit to actually be a kid. You did some research into him. Even gained access to his school transcripts. He was a wickedly smart kid, particularly in science. You were looking forward to meeting him. 

“When Tony discovered you, he asked me to look into how you get around. Your webs.” You remarked. 

Peter looked down at his wrists briefly before returning his gaze to you. 

“What about them?” 

You smirked a little. 

“Do you think we could play around with them?” 

About an hour and a half later you and Peter had created a mess of your lab. Webbing was hung in every corner. Different colored webbing strands caused your lab to look like an entire case of silly string had exploded. 

When Tony walked into the lab, you and Peter were hanging in bunk bed-styled web hammocks, Peter asking you questions about his chemistry homework while you scribbled down some notes on one of the high-tech tablets. 

Both your attention turned to your boss and then you looked at each other. Tony sighed, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose and pinching it out of frustration. 

“I should have known. Alright, y/n get back to work. Peter, you’re with me.” 

Peter's face was bright red after being scolded by Tony. You were used to it. He never punished you really, he knew you’d get your work done. Once Peter had left, you looked around the room at all the webbing strung everywhere. Peter said it would dissolve over time, but how long would that be? 

When you got to work on the prototype, time flew by. Your lab door remained closed while blasting all your favorite music. Tony had stopped by around dinner to bring you a plate and let you say goodbye to Peter before you continued in your work trance. The next time you checked to see what time it was, it was just after midnight. 

You took a moment to admire your work. Surprisingly, you’d gotten most of it done in record time. You decided you would take a break to go for a run and then stay up the rest of the night to finish it. You would sleep when it was completed. 

You had taken the long route on your run after deciding you would stay up to finish the project. You picked a trail through the trees, enjoying all the crisp earthy smells that entered your lungs. The moon was bright enough outside that you didn’t need a flashlight. You took the time to have FRIDAY read you the information available to you about the new recruit. You discovered there were a lot of information files that you didn’t have access to. You didn’t have a high clearance since you weren’t a world-saving Avenger, but it still piqued your interest. 

Once you returned from your run, you decided the best way to wake yourself up was a cold shower and a shot of espresso. You’d need the small extra boost of energy to power through. While you waited for the coffee to brew, a noise drew your attention. 

Your brain never allows you to forget a face. The photographic memory always brings a picture to the front of your mind. This picture brought back a feeling of fear and dread. Those eyes, those captivating blue eyes, and the long, dark hair. It was him. The man that terrified you, but spared your life. 

“Um,” he spoke, drawing your attention from the depths of your mind back to the dark kitchen. 

“Your coffee?” 

You looked back to the espresso machine that was spilling out onto the drip tray below. You cursed to yourself as you quickly put a cup underneath the spouts. 

“Sorry, you just… startled me.” 

You hesitated on how to continue the sentence. Surely he remembered you, right? Probably not. The winter soldier had been around for decades. 

It now made sense how he could be Steve’s childhood friend. 

He threw a half-hearted smile your way while sitting down at one of the bar stools. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting anybody to be up this late.” He spoke quietly. You examined him for a moment. Broad shoulders and a long-sleeve shirt with a pair of gloves hid his arms, the real tell sign he was the winter soldier. Maybe you were wrong, maybe he was just a normal guy who got cold. Or maybe he had eczema. But those eyes, you could never forget those eyes. 

“Nobody usually is. I can just never get my mind to shut off long enough to sleep.” You admitted, throwing back the shot of espresso. Your face twisted up at the extreme bitterness as you turned around to rinse out the glass. 

You heard him chuckle a little. 

“I understand more than you think. But it doesn’t look like you’re trying to sleep, either.” 

It was your turn to hum a small, amused chuckle in response. 

“No, Stark’s got me on a project and I’m almost finished. I’m just going to pull an all-nighter.” 

While you were watching him, the way he moved and talked, he seemed gentle. He was trying his best to make himself seem smaller than he actually was. It was odd, this was the same man that was in front of you that day but with an entirely different demeanor. What was once rigid and intimidating was now gentle and enticing. You still couldn't get past the whole murderous assassin thing, if it weren't for that you would be enjoying the company of an attractive man. 

“Really? What do you do?” He asked. 

Your work was your passion. It’s all you wanted to do. Create medicines and machines to help people. Naturally, your face lit up as you spoke. 

“I’m a biomedical engineer. Tony is funding my fathers' research on personalized medicines. What I do is I take a scan of your brain and body, then it gives me a series of equations to create the perfectly chemically balanced medicine for you. They were only successful once with a volunteer's allergies, but I’m hopeful it will expand.” 

His face lit up slightly while watching you go on a tangent. His gaze softened and a smile crept up to his lips. 

“You look awfully young to be this far in your career.” He commented. 

“And you look awfully young to be 100.” You snapped back subconsciously. Realizing what had just come out of your unfiltered mouth, you gasped and clamped a hand over your mouth. 

“I am so sorry.” 

He chuckled from where he was in his seat and shook his head back and forth. 

“No, don’t apologize. That was good.” 

“I have a photographic memory.” You blurted out before you could embarrass yourself further. 

“I’m somewhat of a genius, by technical standards I suppose.”

“That’s very lucky. Your father must be proud.” He hummed. 

“He would be.” 

Your heart sank a little. You knew your father would have been proud of you. Especially with everything you’ve been through. Truthfully, you didn’t feel your gift was luck. It was forced upon you. Not that you weren’t grateful to be smart, it just wasn’t something you would have chosen willingly. A gift laced with guilt and shame. It was part of the reason you wanted to create an antidote. Just in case there was part of you that wanted to go back to simpler things, and maybe that would be available to him one day as well. 

The man seemed to notice the past tense of the phrase you used and frowned a little. It was obvious he tried to switch topics very quickly. 

“So, what are you working on with Tony?” 

You were grateful to be off that topic, happily jumping to the next one. 

“We’re working on some prosthetics for Rhodes. I’m going to use the brain scanning technology to try and create an external neurotransmitter system that will allow him to have full function of his limbs as if they were never injured. All, with a sleek design that would be practically undetectable when worn underneath clothing.”

He stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide and bright as a smile formed on his lips. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman as extraordinary as you.” 

You felt a heat rise to your face that you quickly dismissed with a wave of the hand. On one side of the coin, that compliment nearly made your heart jump from your chest. On the other, he was still the world's most notorious super soldier assassin. And he was acting like he didn’t know you. Or perhaps, didn’t remember? 

“There’s this great running trail through the trees. If you go down to the training center and out the east door it’ll lead you right to it. It’s usually what I do when I can’t sleep.” You offered, deciding it was best that you got back to your work as quickly as possible. 

The man’s face lit up once again as he looked out the windows and then back in your direction. 

“That sounds great, actually. I’ll do that. Thank you, um…” he paused, looking to you for confirmation of your name. 

“Y/n.” You realized you had gone through that entire conversation not introducing yourselves. You had remembered his name from the file and just assumed he knew you. You aren’t an Avenger so it was a silly thing to assume.  

“And it’s James, right?” 

“Yeah, James. But you can call me Bucky.” Bucky replied, standing up from his chair. 

“Bucky it is then. It was nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself. 

“I’ll see you around, Y/n.” 

Your feelings were conflicted the entire time you continued to work on the project. You enjoyed the conversation and enjoyed his company. Truthfully if you didn’t need to get back to work you could have talked to him all night. If it weren’t for the damn fact that you could remember his face. The Winter Soldier. Of course, you would find yourself attracted to him. 

“Fuck me.” You grumbled. 

After what felt like hours of working, you took a step back to look at the wire-covered model on the mannequin in front of you. You smiled gently. It was exactly how you had drawn it. And, to make it easier on yourself, you had created it in a way that if Tony liked it you could start right away on the actual model. You looked down at your watch to check the time. 

8:27 am. 

Well, it’s not the longest you’ve stayed up, but it certainly is the longest in months. You exited your lab and made your way down the maze of hallways. The unfamiliar sound of chatter made itself present as you approached the kitchen for a snack before heading to bed. 

You rounded the corner, the sunlight from the floor-to-ceiling windows blinding you. The white noise of conversation stopped and by the time your eyes adjusted to the light, you discovered everyone was staring at you. 

“What?” You asked, picking up an apple off the counter. 

“It’s 8:30 am,” Steve commented from his place at the stove, flipping pancakes. 

“Thanks, captain obvious.” You grumbled before taking a bite of the apple. 

Snickers broke out in the group before Natasha spoke up next. 

“You’re never up this early.” 

“That’s because I haven’t gone to bed yet.” You smiled as the group broke off into another fit of laughter. You noticed Bucky sitting off to the side, somewhat isolated but still close enough to engage in conversation. He smiled at you gently, which you returned. 

“If anyone sees Tony tell him my prototype is complete. But from me, good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight.” 

A symphony of different farewells followed you from the group as you made your way to your room. You didn’t bother to change, falling asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. 

Bucky hadn’t stopped thinking about you from the moment he met you. From the moment he saw you, there was a pull. He felt it in his heart like a magnet. 

While he and Steve were throwing around the shield on the front lawn, he asked questions about you. What did you do during the day, where was your lab, and what were you like to be around? Steve answered all the questions with a mischievous smile. 

“Leave it to you to get the hots for a girl on your first day.” Steve teased. 

Bucky laid in bed thinking about it. He thought about your face, how familiar you looked. He wasn’t stupid, he knew the face you made whenever you first laid eyes on him in the kitchen. The face of someone who had met the winter soldier. For the life of him, he just couldn’t remember where. 

There was no way he was sleeping. Not for a while at least, if at all. He got up and got dressed in some workout clothes. He figured he would take this opportunity to ask you to go on a run, and maybe get to know you better. 

He knew he was screwed when he started to wonder what you would think of his outfit. He changed his shirt twice before grumpily giving up. Using the instructions Steve had given him on how to get to your lab, he was off on his quest. A pep in his step and a nervous flutter in his stomach. 

Your lab was at the end of a hallway, the wall lined with glass windows and a glass door so he could see what you were doing. He watched you sway to the music while you tinkered with some wires on the table. He looked at the prototype on the mannequin's legs and smiled. You really did work fast. 

As he approached the closed door he could hear the music playing. It sounded familiar to him, but he wasn’t sure why. He slowly opened the glass door but it was obvious you didn’t hear him because you didn’t look up. You kept singing along to the song playing. 

I finished my mission. Eliminate Harold L/n and leave no witnesses. It was quite easy, an unmarried man in an estate too large for his own good. Nobody would miss him. 

As I was heading back to the exit, I heard a soft voice talking. No, not talking, singing. I growled in annoyance. Of course, someone was here at this ungodly hour of the night, why wouldn’t they be? It was just my luck. 

I followed the gentle sounds of the song down a flight of stairs to what looked like an unused basement. To my right, I saw a faint yellow light coming from the window in one of the doors. I slowly approached, opened the door, and slipped inside. 

As I approached, I noticed it was a woman. She had heard me because the music shut off and she looked around frantically. She hadn’t seen me yet, but she already looked terrified of getting caught. 

I stepped into the light and made eye contact with her. Big, round, beautiful e/c eyes staring back at me. The fear turned into recognition. What she said to me took me by surprise. 

“I know who you are.” 

She knows me? How could a scientist have known who I was? It was more likely she was in on the serum recreation. She probably had to learn about me and study me. 

“Did you come here to kill my uncle?” 

Her uncle, great. Family member as a witness. Let’s hope his brother isn’t around anymore. 

I nodded in response to her question. 

“Did you do it?” She asked again, her voice coming out with a twinge of desperation. Confused by her question, I simply nodded again. 

Then, she did something unexpected. Her whole body relaxed like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she thanked me. She thanked me. It nearly made me tear up hearing those words. It has been a very very long time since anybody has shown me gratitude. Especially for killing their relatives. I was even more confused now about how she knew who I was. Was she forced to research the serum? Was that what she was doing now? Surely not, not this late anyway. 

I pointed to the work behind her and she accepted my action as the question I was trying to ask. 

“I’m trying to fix it. Fix us.” 

I was left with more questions than answers. There were probably a million different things that she could be talking about. My mind held out hope that one was true; the serum. And us, made me think she had it too. 

I looked down at my gun, then back at the woman. If HYDRA found out I had left a witness, there’s no telling what would become of me. Although, something deep inside of me pulled for her to survive, to spare her. In the small chance, it was the serum she was trying to reverse, I needed to let her live. So despite direct orders, I left. 

“Earth to Bucky!” 

Y/n’s voice brought Bucky back to reality. The memory had hit him like a truck. The song you were listening to triggered the memory back into his brain. He was right, you had known him. Why didn’t you say anything?

“Huh, what?” Bucky responded to your attempt at grabbing his attention. 

“I said are you okay, do you need something? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

You were sitting in your rolling chair, arms across your chest as you watched him, your head tilted. 

“No, I’m good. I forgot why I came here actually. Goodnight.” Bucky said to you as he tried to leave the room as quickly as possible. He had hardly let you get out the words good night before shutting the door and disappearing into the compound. 

For the last half hour, you had been thinking about how odd Bucky had acted. He came to your lab, opened the door, then changed his mind and left. In truth, it disrupted your thoughts so much that you had to stop and take a break from work. 

You made your way down to the training center, preparing your headphones for your run through the trees. Had to take advantage of the moon being at its peak. 

Once you entered the training room you noticed a familiar figure at the punching bags. There was one already broken and seeping sand on the floor. You swallowed as you approached, hoping to catch his attention before you got there. 

“Bucky?” You asked, but he kept going. 

You walked around to his left side, standing to the side. Now there was no way he could use the excuse of not hearing you. 

“Bucky.” You said but got ignored again. 

Now frustrated, you shifted your positioning so you were now looking him in the eyes while he wailed into the punching bag. Frustration boiled inside of you. So much, so that while he was in the drawback of one of his punches, you stuck your hand out and caught him before it hit the bag. 

Your hand stung as it collided with the hard surface underneath his boxing wrap. Instinctively you brought your hand to your stomach and held onto it. 

“Holy shit that hurt.” You hissed as you doubled over and favored your hand. 

You looked up at Bucky and saw the shocked expression on his face as he stared at you. 

“You couldn’t have worn a short sleeve shirt or something? Shit.” You flicked your hand to try and shake the pain away. 

“How did you do that?” He asked. You looked at him, making strong eye contact as your heart began to beat out of your chest. 

“I used to do jujitsu.” You attempted to explain. 

“That wasn’t jujitsu, you stopped my metal arm mid-swing. How did you do that?” Bucky started to get more demanding. You hadn’t told anyone you had the serum, you wouldn't let anybody here figure that out. So to avoid that conversation, you turned to walk away. 

“That’s not important. I was going to invite you on a run but you can forget about that now.” You said sassily. 

“I’m sorry I was just-“ Bucky started, watching you walk away from him. “Wait, please.” 

The command triggered the obedience in your mind, causing you to become frustrated. Although, you were good at working around it. He said to wait, he didn’t say for how long. So you only stopped for a second before you kept walking. 

“Stop walking away and talk to me, y/n,” Bucky called after you again. 

Your feet stopped moving before your brain could even register the sentence. This time you couldn’t work your way around it. The command was direct and specific. No trying to cheat the system now. You turned around sassily, standing with your weight on your dominant foot. 

“What?” You responded dryly. 

“How did you do that?” He asked, a slightly demanding tone to his voice. 

“It’s not your business.” You responded quickly. 

“Be honest with me please y/n.” 

You fought with the internal motive within your body. You struggled not to outright admit to it. Usually, you could control your own verbal choices with a little mental override effort. 

“You once told me that you were trying to fix us. Do you have the serum?” 

Your heart nearly dropped out of your chest. 

“You remember.” You marveled. 

“I didn’t until earlier. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I’m sorry, I assumed you remembered.” 

It wasn’t until Bucky brought his hands up to his hair that you noticed the blood-stained boxing wraps around his knuckles. 

“You’re bleeding.” You commented, taking a step towards him. 

“And you’re a super soldier!” He spat out the words like they were poison. 

You stormed up to him, inches from his face with fire coming out of your ears. You brought up an accusing finger in warning. 

“Shut up. You don’t speak another word of this. Nobody else knows. I wanted to keep it that way.” 

You didn’t consider yourself a threatening person, but Bucky’s eyes widened as he nodded with understanding. The little bit of power you felt in that moment was an ego boost. You reached down and grabbed him by the wrist to guide him back to your lab. 

Once you were there, you shut and locked the door behind you. 

“Sit.” You commanded him. He obeyed, taking a seat in the rolling stool as he watched you walk around your lab to gather an ointment and a wet towel. 

You sat down in front of him and unwrapped his knuckles. It was clear that he started without his fists wrapped and then decided to halfway through. 

“Yes. My uncle used me as a test subject for his version of the serum.” You explained while cleaning the area of the wound for him. 

I opened the ointment jar and pulled out a generous amount. 

“This shouldn’t hurt, but it might tingle slightly.” You warned. 

“What is it?” Bucky asked. 

You began applying a thin layer to his cracked knuckles as you explained. 

“An ointment I accidentally created. It heals pretty much all superficial wounds within minutes.” 

Bucky was silent as he watched you work. Once you were done, he watched his knuckles carefully. It began to generate a dull tingle on the edges of the cracks. He watched as the small cracks in his skin began to mend and heal before his eyes. 

His eyes returned to yours with a look of amazement. 

“That’s incredible.”

“Thank you.” You responded while trying to clean up after yourself. 

“Your uncle… What was he trying to change with the serum?” Bucky asked. 

It was difficult for you to decide whether or not to tell him. You hardly knew him, but something inside of you wanted someone to confide in. If anyone was going to understand it was going to be him. You thought about opening up to Steve, but he was always so busy. This was a huge secret that you didn’t want to get out. 

“It was a long time ago.” 

“You might be the only person that understands me.” Bucky said quietly, Causing you to turn around and look at him. His face was lost, almost puppy dog-like. You could almost see the desperation in his blue eyes. He held out his hand for you to take. You hesitated, wanting to reach out but that part of you so long ago kept your hand restrained. 

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Bucky whispered, the look on his face sincere. 

“I promise I won’t hurt you. That’s not me anymore. If you could spare me a bit of your time, I’ll prove it to you.” 

You couldn’t help but feel your heart ache for the man in front of you. It was clear to you that maybe he needed someone to confide in as much as you did. You reached your hand out and took his. 

Bucky looked relieved, his head dropping to look at his lap as he squeezed your hand. 

“Thank you.” 

You pulled up a stool to sit in front of him, preparing to lay out your biggest secret to him. 

“My uncle wanted to create a serum that would allow him to control armies of soldiers without having to use brainwashing. His serum would make them obedient to a fault so that they wouldn’t know what they were doing was wrong in the first place.” 

You could see the fear in his eyes when he asked; 

“Did it work?” 

“Well, I only got about 75% of the strength, but for some reason, the serum made me extremely smart. It’s what gave me a photographic memory.” You explained. 

“What about the obedience?” He seemed to be the most concerned about that bit. From what you could guess, he was worried that it would have been successful. 

“It didn’t work entirely.” You were hesitant to explain out of fear it could be used against you. “I can control it most of the time. Find ways around it but, a direct command is a direct command. And my body won’t let me ignore it.” 

Bucky’s face dropped into devastation. Truthfully, you had never seen anybody look more distraught. 

“In the training center when I told you to stop,” 

“No,” you jumped at the chance to interrupt him before he could continue. 

“Don’t-“ 

“I am so sorry.” He looked genuinely upset. 

“Don’t apologize to me Bucky, you had no idea.” 

“No, y/n, you have no idea how much this means to me.” 

He met your eyes, an intense seriousness to them. You remembered at that moment that the winter soldier was controllable by whoever said the code. Why had you thought he would use it against you? If anything, he was the only one who understood what you were going through. 

Bucky stood up and began to pace the room. You could almost see the thoughts gathering together in his mind. 

“I promise you, that will never happen again. I’m going to make sure that never happens to you again.” 

“Nobody else knows about this. Not even Tony, please don’t tell anybody.” You begged. 

“Nobody is going to know.” He snapped in such a serious tone that it surprised you. 

The room filled with a silence that was neither comforting nor awkward. You looked down at your hands while Bucky was standing off somewhere in the room. You were going to have to get over this irrational fear of being around him. You from years ago would need to let go of everything because you now needed a friend, and The Winter Soldier might just be your unlikely friend. 

After gathering some courage, you stood up from your chair, catching Bucky’s attention. He turned to face you and looked at you expectantly. You slowly walked towards him until you were only a few feet apart. You held your breath as you pulled him towards you and entrapped him in a hug. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. 

It was comforting to feel his heart racing just as badly as yours was. You finally let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“Thank you for listening.” You whispered. 

A hum vibrated around inside Bucky’s rib cage before he replied; 

“Thank you for trusting me.” 

It had been a little over three weeks since you started the Rhodes project and you were between a rock and a hard place. Each day was another attempt and each day a new failure. You had stopped sleeping, and even skipped meals to ensure you had extra time to work on the project. Due to the heightened abilities of your mind, the lack of sleep affected you differently.  Was it healthy, probably not. Could you still function? Yes. 

Bucky often came to sit with you and visit you. He would try his best to understand what you were trying to do, even trying to help where he could. But most of the time, he would bring you meals, and the two of you would just sit and enjoy conversations. 

Other times, he knew that he could get some alone time away from the other Avengers if he needed it. It didn’t happen often, but when it did he just sat in the corner and read books trying to catch up on the last few decades. 

Unfortunately, the last couple of days most of the Avengers were out on a mission so you hadn’t had a lot of company. You worked endlessly trying to figure out where you were going wrong. The last few days blended and you couldn’t recall the last time you had slept. 

While making yourself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, Tony strolled in for the morning. He stopped in his tracks when he laid eyes on you. 

“You look like shit, Sherlock.” He remarked. 

You rolled your eyes a little, being sleep deprived made you a little irritable. 

“Thank you, that’s great to hear.” 

“When’s the last time you slept?” Tony asked. 

You stayed silent, looking down at your coffee as you aimlessly stirred it around. 

“Y/n-“ 

“I’m really close, I can feel it!” You protested. 

“Go to sleep, right now. Go to your room and sleep.” Tony instructed. 

You felt your heart tighten in disappointment slightly. You knew that Tony wasn’t upset, he cared about you just like the rest of his staff. No matter how badly you wanted to stay up and finish your project, you had to listen. 

With your head hung low, you left the kitchen and walked towards the hallway where the bedrooms were. You had only made it about halfway down the hallway before a hand caught your arm. 

You looked up to meet the eyes of Bucky who was looking down at you with a sad expression. 

“Do you want to?” 

“What?” You questioned, your body subconsciously trying to slowly pry itself away from his grasp to go to your room. 

“Do you want to go to sleep?” He said again more gently this time. 

You sighed. 

“I need to, but no. I am frustrated that I can’t figure this out.” 

Bucky bit his bottom lip like he was deep in thought. 

“I have an idea that might be able to help you. But after that, you really should get some sleep. You look tired, doll.” 

You smiled at him and nodded, excited for what his idea might be. 

“Do you want to go back to your lab?” He asked. 

“Yes, I do.” You responded. 

Bucky had kept his promise to help you have control of your actions. You had noticed he changed his wording around you. He carefully chose his words so that he was never directly instructing you. Whatever he did, he always left you a choice. You also decided that if you were ever doing something you didn’t want to do, he had to ask permission first to redirect your mind. It was a sweet gesture. You never had to implement it until now. 

“Then get back to your lab.” He said with a cheeky smile. 

The two of you walked back to your lab, careful as to not be seen by Tony as you ran for the elevator. Once you were in your lab, you locked the door and asked Friday to dim the windows so nobody could see inside. 

“Alright,” you turned eagerly towards him. “What is this thing to help me?”

Bucky gave me a weak smile as he began to take off his jacket, revealing a short sleeve shirt underneath. For as long as you had known him, he always wore a long sleeve shirt or a jacket. He never let his metal arm show out of fear of making others uncomfortable. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about asking him to look at it for your project, but that thought only crossed your mind once. 

“I thought that maybe you could look at my arm and it might push you in the direction you need to go.” 

A wide and bright smile covered your face at his gesture. The vulnerability he was showing you right now caused a new light to shine down on him. He trusted you, and you weren't going to break that now. 

“Let's try it! Sit down on the chair, please.” You instructed. 

Bucky nodded, walking over to one of the rolling chairs and taking a seat. You approached him and took his metal hand in yours. You ran your fingers up the cold, smooth material until you hit the sleeve of his shirt. You looked at the cotton fabric and then sideways at Bucky who met your gaze. You were embarrassed to ask, but you needed to see the full piece. You avoided his eye contact and felt a heat rise to your face as you asked. 

“Could you take this off for me?”

Bucky smirked a little as he grabbed at his shirt and easily slid it off his torso. “I usually wait until someone’s bought me dinner first.”

A burning heat rose to your face at the comment and you grumbled a curse word at him playfully. It was hard to ignore that he was a lot more muscular than you first thought. As awful as it sounds, you forced yourself not to stare. 

Your hand slid up the smooth metal of his arm and felt all the moving pieces and joints. Considering how long ago this was created, the technology was seriously impressive. 

“I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder, is that okay?”

 You asked and he nodded in response. 

You gently placed the palm of your left hand on the scarred area where metal met flesh. You felt your heartstrings tug slightly in sadness for what he went through. You pushed away that feeling and kept working. You held his arm in different positions and instructed him to stretch his fingers and then make a fist. Your right hand slid down the metal arm and you took his hand in yours while keeping your left hand on his shoulder. “Squeeze my hand please.” You instructed. Bucky gave your hand a gentle squeeze. When you were satisfied, you moved the placement of your left hand and asked him to squeeze again. He followed your instructions. 

You pulled your hands back and looked at him. He had an unfamiliar look on his face. A combination of a soft smile and wondrous eyes. 

“What?” You asked, suddenly feeling bashful underneath his blue gaze. 

“I just love watching you work.” Bucky shrugged. 

A head radiated on your face that you had to shove aside to move on to the next step in the process. 

“Would you mind going into the scanner? It'll only take 5 minutes.”

He looked back at the machine and then back at me with a hesitant look.

“I’ll be there the whole time.” You reassured him. 

Bucky looked up at you with a soft smile and a nod. You opened the glass door to the scanning machine and gestured for him to step inside. He followed instructions, standing in the center of the machine while the door slid closed. You made sure he could still see you through the glass door while you pulled up the computer and booted up the system. The machine first took his height, weight, and BMI, and logged it into his profile. While it was scanning him, you filled in the physical descriptions for the volunteer applicant notes. 

You kept an eye on the scanning program while filling out the form. As the scan developed you noticed something that forced you to flip over to his scan. Abnormalities in the prefrontal lobe and hippocampus, the two main regions of the brain that store memory. 

His scans were almost completed when you started to notice something. The machine took a scan of the internal structure of his metal arm as well as the outside. You zoomed in on the components within the mechanism. You noticed the way that the nerves of his arm connected to the wiring of the arm. It was a sloppy job, you could have done so much better. 

While staring intensely at the screen, you noticed something within the wiring and connections that gave you an idea for your project. As your brain was processing the information you were seeing, Bucky exited the scanner and walked over to you by the computer. He leaned down over your shoulder to get a closer look. 

“Woah, is that me? That’s pretty cool.” 

He noticed your intense staring at the computer with a look of shocked realization on your face. “Are you okay?” 

“That’s it.” You whispered. 

“What’s it?” Bucky asked, trying to get you to say your thoughts aloud. 

“That’s it that's exactly what I needed!” Your excitement and joy were obvious in the tone of your voice. You looked over at Bucky who met you with a smile as equally excited as yours. 

“I could kiss you! Oh my gosh, thank you!” You raved as you scrambled for a tablet to write down all the thoughts in your brain. 

Bucky chuckled and straightened his posture. 

“Don’t let me stop you.”

Instincts took over as you rolled onto your toes and pressed your lips onto Buckys. He was too shocked to react before you pulled away from him with a smirk on your face. His face was red with a growing smile creeping its way onto them. 

“Did I do that?” he asked, scared he might have made you do something you didn’t want to do. 

“No.” You responded with a sweet smile. 

“I did.” 

A smile filled with adoration appeared on his face as he looked at you. Bucky leaned down and kissed your lips again. His lips were slightly chapped and the stubble on his face tickled your chin. He tasted sweet and minty, leaving you wanting more as he pulled away.

“I’ll cover for you while you work.” Bucky offered before placing another quick kiss on your lips. He headed for the door, grabbing and putting on his shirt on before reaching the handle.

“I thought I had to go to sleep?” You questioned. 

Bucky paused halfway through the door and turned to face you. 

“We both know you’re not going to sleep until it’s done. 

Your project was complete and fully functional. It felt like you had just climbed mount everest for this accomplishment, but it was done. 

You left your lab in the late evening, sleep finally catching up to you. You entered the common room from the elevator and noticed most of the Avengers watching a movie in the living room. You made a lazy attempt at greeting your friends. 

“Y/n,” Tony called which stopped you in your tracks.  

“I told you to go to bed six hours ago.” He commented, checking his watch for the time.

“You did.” You agreed. 

“The prosthetic is done, by the way. Now I’m going to sleep.”

You dismissed yourself from the conversation, but not before making eye contact with Bucky who sat next to Steve on the couch. He smirked a little and gave you a wink. You reciprocated it before continuing to make your way toward your bedroom. Before you shut the door, you heard Tony say; 

“Did you have something to do with this, Barnes?”

Part 1/2

A/N

I would love to take inspiration from readers any put them into stories and shorts! Please don’t hesitate to message me directly or use my ask inbox! 💜💜

[reserved-system]

Love is Blind [HSBB]

You know that moment when you've known someone for so long that it feels like you've own them forever? That how this fic reads :D It's so light, and fluffy. In this AU Grian is blind and has a massive crush on Scar, whom he shares an apartment building with. How does the rest unfold? You'll have to read the fic and find out yourself!

[Link here!]

Maggiee did such a wonderful job, and was our biggest supporter during this! So let's go show them some love! Another huge shout out to the mods and specifically Dux for putting this event together! Check out the #hsbb 2023 tag for more works and fics like this!

Extras under cut - Wips, rambles, the whole nine yards

Over the course of 2 months, this piece took us nearly 16 and a half HOURS. Up until switching to Procreate I never had an art program that timed how long I worked on something. If CSP has this feature I must've not been able to find it.

The amount of time is pretty stunning to me. I'd say 16 hours isn't that bad! At least by my own standards.

Absolutely shocked by the amount of strokes btw. That's fucking insane.

So for once I actually went at this with a few thumbnail sketches and this was the winner out of the 3 and I blew it up to size and started the finalized sketch.

The funniest thing is I started this right before my art style decided to change so I hope you enjoy the old art style :P <3

So, I did something interesting here. In the past when we would do full pieces we would do a lineless background, so everything besides the characters were painted lineless.

THIS time we decided to line the background with maroon instead of black to help break up the characters from the background so they pop! more and I really like how it turned out and we're happy to say this has carried over into other pieces. :]

I want you to pay attention to Scar's wheelchair in these shots, it's the only thing that changes. I remember doing the shading on the background and main color on the characters all in one night because I was having a bad bout of insomnia and I posted my progress in the artist wip-sharing channel on our event server and looked back at it the next morning and was SO embarrassed I had to fix it. This is also when I changed references.

For some reason I didn't capture any in progress shots of the shading but we did manage to get a few shots of Grumbot. :] He's modeled after a labadoodle! While working on this the team and I discovered that's what they were originally bred for, to be hypoallergenic guide dogs! Isn't that cool!?

[With the source we found here]

My partner and I own a poodle and he was kind enough to be my reference/model. He was well compensated with treats don't worry.

Anyways, thank you for reading our rambles! Whether you're here from a reblog, from the fic itself, or were already following us. I hope you enjoyed! Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for the rest of our pieces for the event.

From the Reserved System, Happy HSBB everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[greaterbostonaddictioncenter]

Common and Uncommon Clonazepam Side Effects

Clonazepam, a widely prescribed benzodiazepine, is often used to manage anxiety disorders, seizures, and panic attacks. While effective, it’s important to understand the potential side effects—both common and uncommon—associated with this medication. This knowledge is crucial for anyone considering treatment options or those undergoing Substance Abuse Treatment in Boston for benzodiazepine dependency.

Common Side Effects of Clonazepam

Like most medications, clonazepam can cause side effects, particularly when first starting the treatment. These include:

Drowsiness: One of the most reported side effects, as clonazepam works by calming brain activity.

Dizziness: Often a result of its sedative properties.

Coordination Issues: Muscle weakness or a lack of balance can occur, especially in higher doses.

Memory Problems: Difficulty concentrating or mild forgetfulness is not unusual.

Fatigue: General tiredness can impact daily functioning.

For individuals in an Intensive Outpatient Program in Boston, managing these side effects can be a challenge, but healthcare providers can offer strategies to mitigate discomfort while continuing treatment.

Uncommon Side Effects of Clonazepam

Though less frequent, some individuals may experience rare or severe side effects. These include:

Depression or Mood Changes: Feelings of sadness, irritability, or agitation may arise.

Confusion: Difficulty understanding or processing information.

Hallucinations: In rare cases, visual or auditory hallucinations can occur.

Severe Allergic Reactions: Symptoms such as swelling of the face, tongue, or throat, or difficulty breathing, require immediate medical attention.

Liver Dysfunction: Signs include jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes) and dark urine.

If you or a loved one experiences any of these uncommon side effects, it is important to consult your physician or an Addiction Treatment Center in Boston promptly.

Long-Term Side Effects of Clonazepam

Long-term use of clonazepam carries risks, especially when taken without medical supervision. These may include:

Dependency and Addiction: Prolonged use increases the risk of physical and psychological dependence, often requiring support through Drug Rehab Programs in Boston or a Partial Hospitalization Program in Boston.

Cognitive Decline: Chronic use has been linked to memory impairments and decreased mental sharpness.

Tolerance Development: Over time, individuals may require higher doses to achieve the same therapeutic effects, heightening the risk of overdose.

Clonazepam Withdrawal Symptoms

Stopping clonazepam suddenly can lead to withdrawal symptoms, which can range from mild to severe. Common withdrawal symptoms include:

Insomnia

Irritability

Increased anxiety

Muscle cramps

Seizures (in severe cases)

For those seeking help, an Inpatient Treatment Program in Boston or an Aftercare Program in Boston can provide the structured support needed for safe detox and recovery.

Managing Clonazepam Side Effects Safely

For individuals prescribed clonazepam, open communication with healthcare providers is essential. Here are some tips:

Follow the Prescription: Take clonazepam exactly as prescribed to minimize the risk of side effects.

Avoid Alcohol and Other Substances: Combining clonazepam with alcohol or drugs can exacerbate side effects and increase the risk of dependency.

Monitor for Changes: Keep track of any new or worsening symptoms and report them promptly.

Seek Professional Help if Needed: Programs like an Outpatient Program in Boston or Addiction Therapy Programs in Boston offer guidance and support for managing medication concerns.

Finding Help for Clonazepam Dependency

If you or a loved one is struggling with clonazepam dependency, know that recovery is possible. At Greater Boston Addiction Centers, we offer comprehensive care, including Substance Abuse Treatment in Boston tailored to individual needs. From detoxification to therapy and aftercare, our team is dedicated to helping you achieve lasting recovery.

Whether you require an Intensive Outpatient Program in Boston, a Partial Hospitalization Program in Boston, or a supportive Aftercare Program in Boston, we’re here to guide you every step of the way. Contact us today to learn more about our programs and take the first step toward a healthier future.

[ladogarecovery]

Detox Treatment for Different Substances: A Comprehensive Guide to Recovery in Indiana

Detoxification is the first critical step in overcoming addiction, whether it's to drugs, alcohol, or other substances. At Addiction Treatment Center Ladoga, Indiana, we offer a range of detox services tailored to different substances, including alcohol, opioids, marijuana, and more. Detox treatment provides a safe, medically supervised environment where individuals can begin their recovery journey with professional support.

In this blog, we’ll explore the different types of detox treatment available at our Detox Treatment Indiana facility, how they help manage withdrawal symptoms, and why they are an essential part of any comprehensive addiction recovery plan. Whether you're seeking Residential Treatment Indiana or Inpatient Treatment Indiana, understanding the detox process will help you make an informed decision about your treatment options.

What is Detox Treatment?

Detoxification, or detox, is the process of clearing harmful substances from your body and managing the withdrawal symptoms that occur when you stop using or drinking. Detox treatment is essential for those who have developed physical dependence on substances, as the body needs time and medical care to safely rid itself of the substance.

The goal of detox is not just to stop using the substance, but to begin healing physically and mentally, preparing individuals for the next step in recovery. Detox Treatment Indiana provides a safe space where patients can receive medical supervision to help manage withdrawal symptoms, reduce the risk of complications, and prepare for a smooth transition into Residential Treatment Indiana or Inpatient Treatment Indiana.

Detox Treatment for Alcohol

Alcohol detox is one of the most common forms of detox treatment. When someone who has been drinking heavily for a prolonged period suddenly stops drinking, they can experience a range of withdrawal symptoms. These can range from mild to severe, including:

Anxiety

Tremors

Sweating

Nausea and vomiting

Seizures (in extreme cases)

Alcohol detoxification requires medical supervision because of the potential for life-threatening withdrawal symptoms, particularly in individuals with long-term alcohol dependence. Substance Abuse Treatment Indiana centers, like Addiction Treatment Center Ladoga, Indiana, provide medically assisted detox programs designed to keep individuals safe throughout the withdrawal process.

Detox Treatment for Opioids

Opioid addiction has become a national epidemic, and detox from opioids (including heroin, prescription painkillers, and synthetic opioids like fentanyl) is often necessary to help individuals begin their recovery journey. Opioid withdrawal can be intense and may include symptoms such as:

Muscle pain and stiffness

Insomnia

Anxiety and depression

Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea

Intense cravings

Detox Treatment Indiana for opioids is usually medically managed with medications that can ease withdrawal symptoms and cravings. Buprenorphine and methadone are two commonly used medications in opioid detox to help reduce the intensity of withdrawal and cravings. Once the detox process is complete, individuals are encouraged to transition into Residential Treatment Indiana or Inpatient Treatment Indiana, where they can begin addressing the psychological aspects of addiction.

Detox Treatment for Stimulants

Stimulants like cocaine, methamphetamine, and prescription stimulants can be highly addictive. Unlike alcohol or opioids, stimulant withdrawal is not typically life-threatening but can be extremely challenging to manage. Symptoms of stimulant withdrawal include:

Fatigue and lethargy

Irritability and mood swings

Anxiety or depression

Intense cravings

Difficulty concentrating

Although stimulant detox does not require medication, Detox Treatment Indiana provides a safe environment where individuals can receive counseling and emotional support to help them through the process. Medications may also be prescribed to manage anxiety or depression that may arise during the withdrawal period.

Detox Treatment for Marijuana

While marijuana is often considered less harmful than other substances, it can still lead to dependency, particularly for individuals who have been using it heavily over long periods. Marijuana withdrawal symptoms are generally less severe than those associated with alcohol or opioids but can include:

Irritability

Anxiety

Insomnia

Decreased appetite

Cravings

Detox Treatment Indiana for marijuana usually involves providing emotional support and guidance to help individuals cope with withdrawal. Though marijuana detox is often less intensive than detox for other substances, it is an essential first step in a comprehensive recovery plan.

The Importance of Residential and Inpatient Treatment After Detox

After completing detox, many individuals find it beneficial to continue their treatment in a Residential Treatment Indiana or Inpatient Treatment Indiana setting. Detox addresses the physical aspects of addiction, but Residential Treatment Indiana and Inpatient Treatment Indiana focus on healing the emotional and psychological effects.

In a Residential Treatment Indiana program, patients live in a supportive, structured environment where they can focus entirely on their recovery. Therapy options in residential programs include:

Individual Counseling: One-on-one sessions to explore personal struggles, triggers, and goals.

Group Therapy: A supportive space to connect with others who are going through similar challenges.

Family Therapy: Involving loved ones in the recovery process to repair relationships and build a strong support network.

Inpatient Treatment Indiana offers a more intensive level of care with 24/7 supervision, ensuring that individuals receive continuous support and treatment. Whether you’re dealing with substance abuse, mental health disorders, or both, Addiction Treatment Center Ladoga, Indiana offers the care and resources you need to stay on track during your recovery journey.

Why Choose Addiction Treatment Center Ladoga, Indiana?

At Addiction Treatment Center Ladoga, Indiana, we are dedicated to providing individualized care for each patient. We offer a comprehensive range of detox and recovery programs, including Detox Treatment Indiana, Residential Treatment Indiana, and Inpatient Treatment Indiana. Our expert staff works with patients every step of the way to ensure a safe, successful recovery.

We understand the challenges of addiction, and we are here to help you reclaim your life. Our compassionate approach to treatment ensures that you feel supported, understood, and equipped to navigate your recovery.

Conclusion

Detoxification is the essential first step in the recovery process for individuals struggling with addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, opioids, marijuana, or stimulants, Detox Treatment Indiana provides the necessary care and support to help individuals safely manage withdrawal symptoms and begin their healing journey. After detox, continuing treatment in Residential Treatment Indiana or Inpatient Treatment Indiana offers the structure and therapy needed to address the psychological aspects of addiction and set individuals up for long-term success in recovery.

[sometimesraven]

Ian's Running Slow

Whumptober No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

Fandom: Quantum Leap (2022) POV Character: Ian Wright Whumpee: Ian Wright

Ian needs to find Ben. Sleep is secondary.

AO3 Link

Eighty-seven percent. Thirteen percent. Twenty-nine percent. Every roll gave them a different number. Every answer gave them another question. Every new algorithm only had Ian tugging at their hair in frustration.

They tried again. 

Run: Find Ben. If: Janis equipment AND full team. Output: ...... ...... ..... Ninety-six percent.

Good. That was good, right? It had to be good. Unless their code was wrong. They should rewrite the code, just in case they missed a fault that was giving a false positive. That would be fine, right? Would only take a few hours. They glanced at the gap in their curtains, shrugging off the peeking light of morning and reaching for their coffee mug. Empty. Damn. Running a hand through their hair, they pushed themself upright to grab another.

"You're kidding." Ian froze halfway out of the bedroom door, realising with a stifled cuss that they'd entirely forgotten Jenn was here, sound asleep on the bed behind their setup. "This is like... night three."

Ian's fingers tapped anxiously on their mug as they turned around, knowing that without sleep there was no way they were succesfully masking the schoolkid guilt on their face. "It's fine. I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

"No, you-.." Jenn yawned and stretched, pushing herself upright to eye them with the judging gaze that somehow managed to still pierce right through them despite the groggy, half-unfocused haze in her eyes. "You gotta stop this. You can't live on coffee and algorithms, Ian. You need sleep."

"I'll sleep! I just need-.. I have to figure this out, Jenn. I-if I can just figure out how to get Ziggy reconnected with Ben then I'll be able to-"

"For the love of-.." Jenn shook her head, shoving to her feet just to pad over and point at Ian's screen. "This is not finding Ben. You think I didn't notice after day two you started asking it over and over if we'll find Ben? Looks to me like you're using all this as an excuse to avoid sitting down with your thoughts for five seconds. Trust me, I know what that looks like."

"I'm. Fine," Ian reiterated, trying to brush off the way their vision swam a little with the quick change of focus from the bed to the desk. Sure, their hands were a little tingly and the fog in their head was thicker than the one time they mixed pink gin with ketamine as a teenager, but with just a couple more hours they could fix everything. "I just need a little more time."

"In a couple more hours you'll be hallucinating, Ian." Jenn stared them down with more clarity this time, lifting a brow pointedly when the mug they were holding almost slipped out of their hand. "You can't do anything like this. The more you fuck yourself up trying to look for him, the longer Ben's going to be stuck out there."

"You don't-.. You dont understand." Ian laughed, the tiny huff of air making them dizzy. "You don't understand, Jenn. This is my fault. I have to get him back. I have to-.."

Were they hyperventilating? Jenn was across the room before they realised they were falling, catching them awkwardly and dragging them over to sit on the edge of the bed, cradling them gently like a sick child. "Ben knew the risks. He knew what he was getting into. This was always a possibility, Ian."

"Future me's code-.."

"Worked to do exactly what it was supposed to. There was never any guarantee Ben would leap back. And hey-- with the Quantum Leap program shut down there's also no guarantee the apocalypse future will happen." Jenn gently kissed the top of their head, their skin clammy and their hair unwashed. "You saved the world, Ian. It'll help everyone a whole lot more if you believe just for a second that you're capable of that."

Ian blinked, then sharply forced themself out of the daze of sleep trying to take them. "I'm awake! I'm up-.. Just-.. Ben-.. what if-.."

Another blink, and when they opened their eyes again they were laying down, undressed and covered with bedsheets. Their computer was shut down, and there was water by their bedside. Maybe just a little nap wouldn't hurt.

[ghostofasecretary]

ok so.

i am sick

i have been Sick sick since Christmas night (had symptoms before then but was sleepless and miserable and came up snotty on the 26th) and while it is not covid i was incredibly fatigued for a good chunk of time

probably at least in part because my sleep goes to hell when i'm sick. the record looks like sleep the 25th: no. 26th: yes! 27th: no. 28th: no. 29th: yes (mostly! managed to sleep for four straight hours and caught a total of ~9 hours)

in addition to being sick always being unfun, i also like...should've been doing graduate apps? but instead i was drowning in tissues and insomnia??

so it would be great to. like. do things today

- pay credit card bill

- laundry

- fill in the professor/interest/goals paragraphs for SoP [2], ask someone to skim grammar?, call it fine because it's the same basic bones as the PhD SoP you *actually* cared about that got you into two MA programs and also. like. there's no way you aren't getting into this school. write words and chill tf out. just crib the goals from [redacted] if you have to, they're basically still accurate and this is hardly legally binding

- skim "standard" WS just in case of errors; upload to [2]; upload other things; pay money; apply

- reply to emails (personal account--1, general account--2?) (do i need to reschedule my Tuesday appointment on account of my cold? probably wouldn't hurt to send a quick email)

- figure out if [3] doesn't send notification emails for rec letters or if i need to email my guys like "yeah sorry they need you to click another button"

- [4] WS 1 + WS 2--discuss with another human being re: whole picture

- talk out [4] SoP

- skim [4] scholarship websites so you can write the supplemental things decently well

- fix [payment thing]?

theoretically doing things for [3] would be nice but. also. latest deadline. triage mode. c'mon

- buy your cousin a giftcard omfg

also today will involve holiday celebrations hopefully. so that's nice. sorry for all the sick tho

...i don't want to think about this but my granddad is in the ICU (doing fine apparently??) and so if i want my mom's help, which i do, i should try to get it earlier rather than later just. in case. yeah. i. yeah.

[mysteriouslover1516]

Remember Us Together? (Part 4)

(2 years after their first meeting)

Jake’s eyes burned as he continually stared at the bright screen of his computer, fingers typing incessantly upon the keyboard. Glancing at the time in the left hand corner of his screen, he sighed as he read 3:42am. He had tried to sleep, really he did, but insomnia still haunted him. It wouldn’t hurt just to rest his eyes for a bit, lay in his bed, let his mind wander for a while, right? Afterall, then he could be near MC. Quickly prompted to action by the last thought, he hurriedly shut his computer down into sleep mode, making his way out of his study. As bare feet padded across the cold hardwood floor, his blue eyes turned to the numerous photos that were hanging on the hall walls. Noting that the bedroom door was shut, he flicked the switch on and light flooded the hallway. After squinting until his eyes adjusted to the brightness, his attention returned to the framed pictures. Jake’s lips pulled into a small smirk as the picture of him and MC sprawled out in the snow smiled back at him.

“You’re gonna catch a cold, MC.” Jake shook his head at his girlfriend’s antics as she threw a handful of the powdered snow into the air, watching it gently shower back down on her face. “We should leave before you get hypothermia.”

“But we just got here,” MC whined. “Isn’t it simply beautiful?”

“Very,” the young hacker said, heart starting to melt at the sight of her happiness.

MC rolled her eyes, a faint blush coating her cheeks. “I meant the snow, you dork.”

“Oh that?” Jake smirked, “It’s okay.”

“Have you ever made a snow angel?” MC questioned, a mischievous look on her face.

“Maybe once in my life?” He raised an eyebrow.

Without warning MC pushed the hacker into the snow, but he quickly reached up and grabbed her coat, pulling her down with him. “This wasn’t quite what I had planned,” MC blushed at the closeness.

“I don’t mind,” Jake shrugged as his arm found its place around her waist.

“Yeah?”

Jake suddenly sputtered as a pile of snow hit his face, “MC!”

MC giggled as she tried to jump to her feet, but he yanked her back down. “What is it, Jake?”

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He shook his head.

“Better than hypothermia though, right?” MC asked with a shy smile.

“Maybe,” a grin appeared on Jake’s lips as he leaned down and kissed her. “Just slightly.”

Dan and Jessy had just then appeared in the park, causing the redhead to whip her phone out. Jessy had actually done it, she had managed to catch a picture of Jake grinning, but in his defense he couldn’t help it when MC’s contagious smile was by his side.

Jake’s eyes shifted to the next picture that showed MC and him gazing at their first house together, his arm around her shoulder, backs facing the camera. This was the house they were in now, the house that was adorned by these beautiful frozen memories, their forever home.

“Did we do the right thing?” MC asked as she looked at the small house in front of them. The white picket fence surrounded the couple, the light blue-colored house silently inviting them in.

“Yes,” Jake nodded. “It’s perfect.”

“You really want to do this?”

“Do I really want a future with you, a life by your side? I’m hoping that’s a rhetorical question, MC.” Jake locked eyes with her.

“Promise me you won’t ever regret it,” MC’s eyes filled with tears. “Cause I don’t want to live without you, Jake.”

“Don’t cry, please.” The hacker gently brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “Trust me, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A smile formed on MC’s lips, then she leaned upwards and their lips met, him kissing her back.

Jake couldn’t help but shake his head, why on earth would he regret living the rest of his life with her? She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, a true blessing in a world laced with darkness. She was the one who comforted him when nightmares racked his body, the one who patiently listened as he ranted for hours on end about computer programs not working. She was the one who traced over the numerous scars that dotted his upper body, the one who could calm his nerves and insecurities whenever she was by his side. How was it possible that he had got to be this lucky, this blessed?

More memories replayed in his head as his gaze kept shifting to other photos, finally he turned off the light. Why was he reminiscing over the past when he could actually be next to her in the present? He gingerly pushed against the door, hinges squeaking softly as it swung open. Moonlight poured in through the half-open shades, casting a glow on the bed. MC lay peacefully on the bed, her hair sprawled across the pillow. Her body was facing Jake’s side of the bed, one arm reaching out as if an attempt to find him in her sleep. The covers had pooled at her waist, revealing how she sported one of his hoodies as her nightshirt. As he neared the bed, he could hear the quiet and adorable snores escaping her, causing his heart to melt. Even like this, her hair all tangled, lips slightly chapped, eyes closed, she was still stunning. He eased himself into the bed and gently pulled her to his chest as he laid down.

“Jake?” MC mumbled as a yawn escaped her lips, eyes remaining closed.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” MC smiled. “I don’t mind waking up like this.”

“I was looking at the photos on our walls,” Jake whispered.

MC opened her eyes, the soft gleam of moonlight causing them to shine. “Yeah?”

“I want to make more memories with you, MC.” Jake said.

“Me too,” MC smiled shyly. “You’re rather sentimental when you’re tired, aren’t you?”

“More like whenever I’m around you. I just can’t help it.”

“What time is it?” MC asked as she shuffled around in the bed, resting her head on his chest.

Jake turned his head to look at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, “Almost 4:15.”

“What do you say we sleep a little longer, then make some coffee, and watch the sunrise?”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea.” Jake’s hand found its way into her hair, gently brushing at the strands. “I love you, MC.”

“Me too,” MC giggled as she closed her eyes again. “But about you.”

Jake smirked as he closed his eyes, listening to the calming rise and fall of her breath, noting when it slowed and steadied, signaling she had fallen back asleep. His hand continued to brush through her hair, a peaceful feeling taking over his senses as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. He was happy, truly happy, and MC was the one to thank. The sun had finally shown up in his life, the dark clouds overhead leaving in its wake. His life was perfect, because in his eyes so was MC. With that final thought in his head, he finally drifted off to sleep, reveling in the love he now had in his life.

Hey lovelies! ;) Thank you so much for reading and supporting me on this little oneshot journey. Don't worry, many more Jake x MC stories are to come, but I think this is the end of the "Remember Us Together" series. I hope you all like the ending, please leave your likes and reviews in the comments! It always means so much to me to hear from you, it means it's actually worth my time to post. Love you all!

[madamlaydebug]

#HEALTHNugget

Is CBD Oil Safe and Worth Your Money?

A medical cannabis expert weeds the hype from the truth about the herbal cure for pain, depression, anxiety and insomnia.

You can’t turn on a daytime TV program or flip open a lifestyle magazine without hearing or reading about CBD, short for cannabidiol. It’s the biggest buzzword in holistic health news, and statistically speaking, it is expected to reach around 1.8 billion dollars in U.S. consumer sales by 2022, a whopping increase from around half a billion dollars in 2018.

What exactly is CBD?

CBD is the non-intoxicating component of the cannabis sativa plant. Cannabis plants can either be classified as hemp or marijuana depending on the quantity or percentage of THC in either plant. This distinction was established by the FDA: Cannabis plants with 0.3 percent or less of THC are considered hemp and those with more that 0.3 percent are consider marijuana.

So in a nutshell, CBD that is derived from hemp will not make you high. You should also ask your primary physician about using CBD while taking medications.

Kisha Vanterpool, medical director of Medicinally Jointed, a medical cannabis spa and alternate health practice located in South Philadelphia, says the biggest misconception her patients have is understanding the difference between CBD and THC.

“Some associate CBD solely with cannabis (marijuana) which carries its own stigma of being used to attain a high,” the board-certified internist explains. “But really, cannabis is an herbal medicine that has many benefits. Through educating my patients around the plant as medicine and how it interacts within our bodies, patients then become more open to its use.”

What is CBD used for?

Studies show consumers are using CBD — sold in oils, lotions, balms, bath salts, coffee, oral sprays and gummies — as a specific therapy for pain, anxiety, depression and sleep disorders. Depending on the product, prices range from $20 to $100.

Nira Hyman turned to CBD three years ago to help manage chronic back pain and joint inflammation she’s endured for about 15 years. The 46-year-old was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, a type of rheumatoid arthritis called ankylosing spondylitis, which affects the spine.

“Chronic pain is quite isolating, so I’m open to trying almost anything. My research led me to THC, then to CBD. It helps mute the pain. It’s still there, but the volume of the pain is dialed down. CBD doesn’t manage my pain on its own, but using that along with other stuff on my regimen can make a difference,” she says.

“Most of what I use is handmade. It’s expensive but worth it. Friends ship balms or soaks to me. And yes, the sellers are Black. I believe strongly that Black women belong in the cannabis industry, so the louder our voices the better.”

The Brooklyn, New York, native also uses CBD to alleviate anxiety. “It may be a placebo effect, but I do feel it helps my anxiety. And I prefer using something that’s natural and naturally medicinal. I’d much rather take CBD — and I do use high doses — than opioids. My doctors agree, off the record,” says Hyman.

Vanterpool recommends CBD to her female patients to help them with anxiety, insomnia, hot flashes, menstrual cramps, endometriosis and other chronic pain. When shopping for CBD products, she suggests consumers research the product “to ensure that it truly contains CBD and has been tested for contaminants such as pesticides, bacteria and fungus/mold.”

Is CBD FDA-regulated?

Not currently. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently published a consumer update on its website (FDA.gov) that addresses the claims that cannabinoid (CBD) is a cure-all, risk-free miracle drug.

Although the FDA is presently gathering data from health professionals, cannabis industry representatives and patients to learn more about the efficacy of CBD, the agency wrote, "there are many unanswered questions about the science, safety and quality of products containing CBD.”

Where can I find CBD products in my area, and is it legal in all fifty states?

Remember the 69-year-old grandmother from North Carolina who was arrested at Disney World for packing CBD oil in her purse?

Federal law says CBD oil products are legal to possess if they contain no more than 0.3 percent THC, and CBD products are readily available online. Do your research to find products that are safe, effective and legal. Consumerreports.org has an informative guide. Be aware, however, that some states like Florida, Ohio and Texas generally don’t differentiate hemp from marijuana. So before you purchase or travel with CBD, check the state laws.

[arcthebreeder]

Log_2.TXT

07/03/2023, 09:04 (GMT-5)

I do not like to discuss my private life here, but this time it's necessary, I suffer from insomnia since age 9, my lack of sleep is what made me gain interest on the digital monsters because I used to visit old forums on the internet, forums now lost to time where I found out about the concept of digimon.

Cleaning my PC, I found some old photos from 2014, one of those photos managed to call my attention, it was a device a member of those old forums called a "Digital Monster Dock" to put it on common words, it's a physical device with the sole purpose of housing a program called "Digimon Capture" making the device able to contain a Digimon.

Why am I telling you all of this? Simple, the photo I found is almost 10 years old, making the model the user created archaic, but this gave me an idea... While I do know how to build a "Digimon Dock", I don't have any remarkable welding skills, which are needed for this process, however I can replace the whole OS of a sports watch I have and don't use with one that can run Digimon Capture, I may be able to pull an all nighter modding the sports watch and wake up on time for my classes, I'll keep you updated.

ATT: ARC

[genesisoxysleep]

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