#Incremental builds
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kirantech · 2 years ago
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Streamlining AEM Instance Setup and Incremental Builds with Gradle AEM Plugin
This article discusses the process of setting up an Adobe Experience Manager (AEM) instance in a single click using the Gradle AEM Plugin (GAP) developed by Wunderman Thompson Technology. The article highlights the advantages of using Gradle as a building
Problem Statement: How to set up an AEM instance in one click? Can I perform incremental builds on the Maven project? Introduction: Gradle AEM Plugin (GAP) developed by Wunderman Thompson Technology uses Gradle as a building tool. Advantages of Gradle:1. Flexibility 2. Performance Incrementality — tracks the tasks, watches file changes and runs only what is necessary. Build Cache — Reuses…
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the-owl-tree · 2 months ago
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im a little too tired rn, is it okay if i ask you to elaborate on the “tbc shouldve come out after oots because of how asc was handled” post… im curious 👀
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Also a little sleepy so I might become back and edit this later but I was kind of nibbling on it in my brain and I think thematically, changing the order just lends itself better to OotS -> TBC -> AVoS -> ASC. Some of this is veering into rewrite/au territory but that's the fun part lol
Omen of the Stars
Sets up the religious themes of TBC with its Heaven/Hell cat war.
Sets up that StarClan can be wrong and this has negative consequences for the living cats. Examples: Yellowfang interfering in Cinderheart's life, StarClan telling the Clans to divide themselves before the war.
Sets up that there are cats in the Dark Forest who do not deserve to be there.
The Great Battle itself, quite literally them fighting demons of the pasts and "codebreakers" who aligned themselves with said demons, creates a really good set up for TBC.
The Clans are reeling and, had OotS pulled it off better, the great battle could've been devastating...and why a more strict leader trying to "pull his Clan together" would've been more acceptable.
The Broken Code
The themes and plot of TBC just work sooo much better with the aforementioned set up.
Themes of StarClan being wrong, making mistake, recontextualizing the Dark Forest as somewhere not as pure evil but also a result of these mistakes.
Ashfur swooping in post-war to get a hold on leadership, taking advantage of Clan pride, and using the code as a guise to unite ThunderClan under an iron fist.
Like the setting feels so perfect for TBC to me?? Post spiritual war between heaven and hell where even StarClan faced losses, a malevolent spirit with a grudge comes down to take advantage of this huge split whilst the worst leaf-bare the Clans have seen approaches.
But that's also obvious connections to make, what it also lends itself to is the new theme of authority and leadership that becomes relevant in AVOS.
This is also where the seeds of code changing are being planted.
A Vision of Shadow
Like I don't like AVOS Rowanstar, I find the text tells me one thing but his actions tell me another but for the purposes of this, I'll indulge the intention of the writers: Rowanstar is supposed to be too permissive.
And like, this doesn't work right after OOTS in which multiple ShadowClan cats sided with the Dark Forest.
But it does work post TBC after the Clans just fought and faced losses against Ashfur.
We see a leader reckon with the consequences of their own unchecked power (and perhaps sees some past echoes in the process?)
We see the use of the code to justify brutality fuel a growing disrespect from those in the Clans.
There is unease and unhappiness with the status quo (and in a good series, this should not be a bad thing)
SkyClan also brings into question the benevolence of StarClan. Would they turn a blind eye to ShadowClan? To RiverClan?
Things need to change, AVoS is the straw that breaks the camel's back: things need to change.
A Starless Clan
Berryheart's role hinges a lot more on AVOS while comparatively everyone else's can be either or, so just making AVOS more relevant adds to that.
ASC, as muddled and sloppy as it got, is about change and it is about progress, even if the authors got really scared and sympathetic towards bigots who want to halt that progress.
Continuing the theme of authority: what happens when a Clan has no leader?
Continuing the theme of faith: what happens when cats turn their back on StarClan?
and don't get me wrong, ASC stumbled downhill into a bush of thorns, but these themes do have more room to stand when we reorder and stack these themes to build on one another.
I'm stretching a little but I think thematically, switching everything around like building blocks just makes ASC like...idk have more to stand on?
I think I'd have to go on more of a rewrite tangent to make this work better but I feel like using TBC to set up AVOS rather than vice versa works better.
Star Specific Point (Spoilers)
I think also the ending ultimately being about choosing to come back and faith in the living also just caps off these building themes better. Frostpaw choosing to come back because she can do more alive than dead just lends itself to ideas of autonomy and breaking from the idea that StarClan is all-knowing and all seeing.
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platypusisnotonfire · 23 days ago
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I aspire to be a Himbo but my physics degree and weasel physique have cursed me to a very different categorization
#no matter how many weights I lift I will never be shaped like kronk#my entire family’s genetics is summed up as ‘shaped like David tennant’#even during my ‘pudgy’ phase of puberty I was still getting called skinny by strangers#I still lift don’t worry#I want to be stronk#but i cannot build muscle mass like that#no one in my family ever has#and on the other side#literally I have wished to be stupid ever since I realized I was smarter than other kids my age#3 or 4?#literally not for one second was that something I was proud of#I never EVER thought I was better than my peers because I was ‘smarter’#I lamented the fact that they could be happy and I couldn’t#and I wanted to just stop understanding things#I wanted to not know#they hated me for not being on their level#and I hated me for the same reason#I cannot express how much this is NOT false modestly like ‘oh I was so smart’ like it was a disability#I stg no one should have this high of an IQ it’s literally BAD#because I mentally understood things I was 8 billion percent not ready to understand emotionally#kids should progress incrementally and grow up and learn things when they are emotionally grown enough to process them#no one should be three and watching the news and comprehending the logistics of war and politics#but having a three year olds level of emotional regulation#there is a certain level of ‘smart’ where suddenly it’s very very very bad for you and you’re going to have a horrible life because of it#there should be a medication to treat high IQ’s and I’m being so fr
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babyspacebatclone · 8 months ago
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So, I was watching Super Eyepatch Wolf’s vid on Fake Video Games and it accidentally triggered a desire to world build for a very loose concept in mt head.
Which is “Fantasy NCP jobs Choose Your Own Adventure Increment game.”
Because the fact there are apparently no CYOA increment games in existence damages my soul.
On the other hand, “Fantasy NPC jobs” is the extent of the world building thus far.
Anyone actually interested in poking me to mock up some macro-level paths?
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spriggan675 · 8 months ago
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Love to see this post getting notes again. None of us are ok.
I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.
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raskies456 · 13 days ago
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wait i bet the whole reduced telomerase expression thing is an anti cancer mechanism huh
#i can look this up there’s gonna be studies I just had this thought now#like yeah I think evolution builds some jank patch shit bc it can only change incrementally and each#step has to be built on the last and there’s no farsightedness#and yeah i do think the fact that we had to patch in telomeres at the ends of our chromosomes#bc otherwise we’d chop off important dna each time cells divided#bc our polymerases work only one way which was fine when our chromosomes were circular#is a perfect example of such jank ass shit#but like. we also can add more telomeres. we DO add more telomeres#we gotta factory reset our germ cells and iirc there’s a fair bit of telomerase expression when you’re younger and in other situations#and def in cancer cells#so yeah like. reducing telomerase expression over time seems like a fair anti cancer control#mortality in general seems like it’s an anti cancer control#like you gotta impose so many limits on cells if you’re gonna be multicellular and if the side effect is mortality#then from an evolutionary perspective its fine so long as you survive long enough to have offspring#I wonder what the math is. between being able to live longer and have children throughout that whole period#vs increased odds of dying early bc your cells revolted#there’s gotta be some game theory on this shit#anyway I’m literally just rambling about thoughts I am having w/o looking shit up yet#inspired by my cool mutuals who will just say ‘hey wait is this how a thing works’#like hell yeah. let’s speculate on fields we know enough about to be stupid in#456 words
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ayuranslounge · 2 months ago
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It ain't much yet, but it's honest work.
Language : Odin
Library : raylib
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elljayvee · 11 months ago
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I did a bunch of work on food access a few years back (I work in food systems generally, the access work was part of a particular project). We found in our outreach sessions that a major problem for people in our area was that, if they needed to use mass transit to shop, the cost of fares was a barrier. Was it the ONLY food access problem? No, of course not. Would it help if low-income people had access to reduced fares? OF. FUCKING. COURSE. both generally AND when they needed to food shop. Would it have been nice to make food access Not A Problem At All for everyone? Yes. Would it also have been nice to end up with free transit for low-income people instead of reduced? Also yes!
Did it still fucking help?
YES.
My biggest frustration with the left has always been the inability/unwillingness to work on making progress inside of the system while advocating for greater change.
I remember the first time I came to this realization.
I was nineteen, pregnant. We couldn’t afford to heat the house because we couldn’t afford the deposit to turn the gas on. It was miserably cold. The duplex we were renting was old and rickety and drafty. The window frames were messed up and there were cracks you could stick your finger through that were open to the elements.
Just, like, to give you an idea where we were financially. And this was better than we’d been doing before!
Anyway, I had recently started going to DSA meetings. And that month, they were talking about how a moderate democrat had successfully gotten a small increase in WIC benefits monthly. It came out to, like, $10 a month.
The members talking—mostly male, almost all doing decent—were scornful. The democrat should have pushed harder and gotten more, refused to accept anything until everyone else caved to their demands. I remember sitting there, quietly drinking the latte in the smallest size they had that I had bought with scrounged quarters, listening. Wishing it wasn’t held in an indie coffee shop because it was a luxury I really couldn’t afford, but it would be rude not to. Enjoying the coffee anyway.
I was one of the lucky ones who was getting that additional $10 a month through WIC. Even more exciting, we were now getting a voucher for the farmers’ market. I casually mentioned that WIC recipients would now be getting farmers’ market vouchers, too.
The guy who organized the meetings was a hard worker, passionate guy. Did something in tech.
He was like, “That’s the thing! These people don’t want farmers market vouchers. They want—” and he went on to describe a bunch of pie in the sky desires. That, yeah, sounded good.
But one. I was one of those people! A lot if the tamiles were super excited about it, myself included.
I had never been to a farmers’ market before. I tried arugula for the first time, a piece pulled from a bunch by the grower as he explained the flavor difference. I hadn’t known before then that different lettuce greens had different flavors, that it was more than just the texture and shape. I tried pesto, which delighted me. Goat cheese. I got three full pounds of strawberries for two dollars, since they were closing soon and the old man selling the berries got a kick out of me.
Anyway. It was like, you have a decent life. Not great but decent! The things that are life changing for me, for us… you already have.
The ten dollars at the grocery store made the difference between a meal of broken-noodles-with-some-half-horrible-pantry-scraps and a meal. It kept me full and healthy! And the additional farmers’ market voucher was world changing for me.
The democrat who worked for those things barely got them through. And it was means tested to hell and back. They weren’t able to get everything they wanted. But what they got made such a huge difference for me, for people like me.
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subsidystadium · 9 months ago
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Minnesota United FC had grand plans outside their new stadium in 2016. Now? Not so much
It is 2016. Local leaders in St. Paul, Minnesota were debating whether to give millions of taxpayer dollars to Minnesota United FC to help with the construction of a new soccer stadium, named Allianz Field. This included a mixed-use development around the new stadium. In 2016, the owner of Minnesota United FC showed the city council a 33-page master plan that outlined a “series of public spaces,…
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extemporaneousmusings · 10 months ago
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16/3/24
Today I:
-opened the shop which is unusual for a Saturday and getting to clock off at noon and have the afternoon to my own devices felt great, if a bit disorienting...I tried to order a Sunday specific food at my fave bar for a late lunch and got laughed at for not knowing what day it was
-got two different multiballs on a single game of godzilla pinball
-finished reading my friend's dissertation! I'm gonna review some targeted sections and my notes tomorrow but the heavy lifting is over thank goodness
-didn't feel like doing 20 minutes of yoga like I have been doing before bed most days this past week, so I did 10 instead and that's absolutely better than nothing
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borngeniusworld · 1 year ago
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The Habitual Road to Success: Small Steps, Big Results
Powerful Habit Quotes 1. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” 2. “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” – Samuel Johnson 3. “Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” – Benjamin Franklin 4. “Successful people are simply those…
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dekaja · 1 year ago
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pinacoladamatata · 1 month ago
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ok rough estimates for how tall dreadwolf form is incoming! first, needed a base, this post had Solas and Neve heights
Neve is ~ 5'7"
Solas is ~ 6'0"
TLDR :: from the ground to his shoulder, dreadwolf is ~25 feet, or ~7.5 meters tall
details under the cut (and endgame spoilers incidentally bc i needed pics)
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so, yeah their respective heights seems to line up (note the lines are NOT gonna line up EXACTLY esp for an increment as small as inches, and like...for where we're going, inches don't matter. anyway, since solas measures in at 6', and that's a nice round even number, he's going to be the measuring stick.
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got some screenshots of him standing next to this diamond building asset which i'm going to use to estimate the wolf height. this picture looks a bit weird but in game that diamond this does appear to be taller than him.
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the diamond asset measures about 7 feet tall down the center.
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in this animation cycle, they rotate around this roof with one of these diamond assets on it. that diamond is about 7ft tall (about 2 meters)
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closest pic i could get of him standing next to, and long the line of, that diamond asset. since the roof is flat, just took a ruler to my drawing tablet measured.
estimating where his mid back and shoulders are, looks like he's about 24.5 feet (or about 7.46 meters) (or 4.08 solas') tall
so; from the ground to his shoulder, the dreadwolf is ~25 feet, or ~7.5 meters tall (or 4 solas')
[i rounded bc i want nice simple numbers ok. also the margin of error is large on this. bc i can't know that diamond asset height for CERTAIN, i could be off by like a foot, it could be closer to 6ft than 7. in that case, dreadwolf would be more like 21-ish feet tall. but, does it really matter that much? i think it's safe to say he's over 20 ft tall, bc when solas is standing next to that diamond asset, in game it does look taller than him.]
also! i wanna add!! if you have a better screenshot of him standing still next to that diamond asset, feel free to reblog it here and @ me
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killerkillerkillher · 9 months ago
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Bound to Fall in Love
Angel/Demon! 141 x reader
Tags: kidnapping, sacrifices, religious references, reader is too angry to die, reader commits murder lol, canon typical violence??, reader gets a kissy on the forehead, a tad crack-ish
Inclusivity tags: reader is referred to w he/him and they/them pronouns, no bodily description, no y/n
A/n: call my brain an apple w all the worms it's got. This was just a blurb at first, but I made room in there for me to potentially make it into... something I guess.
minors dni!
"Cole, I can't fucking focus while they're just... staring at us like that."
"Ignore it, Bess. We have to finish these candles."
You wish a bolt of lightening would come down and strike all three of you at once. Or maybe the building spontaneously combusting would be better. Anything, anything, would be better at this moment than watching your boyfriend and best friend work together to light a summoning circle after having tied you up in your sleep.
For a fraction of a second, you wonder if any gods are watching, if any of them would be willing to give you a boon and allow you one last chance to punch both of these betrayers in the face.
"Okay, okay, the book," Bess mutters, going to the pick up her ritual book from the coffee table you bought. Honestly, if they were going to try to sacrifice you somewhere, your living room is one of the most disrespectful places. Probably right under your bed room.
"I'm sorry," Cole has the gaul to look down at you with a face stricken with grief. Like you're dead already. "We didn't know what else to do. We're both in bad places and you've always been so good to us, so we figured-"
"You better hope this fucking kills me." You grunt. Cole's face melts into a glare. "Because if I'm still breathing, it's going to take more than Satan's intervention to save you from me. I swear on my mother." You jerk forward, making him jump back a step.
"Cole...?" Bess looks at you, then up at Cole with unease. Cole doesn't say anything for a second, sorting his feelings out with a leer before turning to her.
"Read the book."
He drags you into the middle of their pentagram while she sings Latin words off the old book pages. The candles flicker and waver before their flames grow twice as tall. Cole rolls you onto your back and pulls a knife from his back pocket.
"I meant it when I said I'm sorry," Cole mutters. You snarl, but don't jump at him like you want to.
"Yeah? Yeah, you're sorry? Kiss my ass!" You shout over Bess's reading. "If I'm still alive after this, I'm killing you and burying you in the fucking septic tank!" You crane your head up so you can see Bess as well. "Time to get some stuff off my chest, yeah? Bess, I fucked your older brother on the day we graduated."
Her eyes go wide, and she almost stops talking, but Cole shoots her a look that forces her to continue.
"And his friend Carl, the one you had a crush on. And Cole? I never. Fucking. Finished. Ever! You are the only person I've dated who couldn't get me off." Cole's hand's twitch around the blade.
"Are you serious?"
"Does now look like a time to- ack!" You don't get to finish because Bess finished the spell and it was time for your blood to fuel it. The blade buries in your gut, turning this way and that way at measured increments. You just lay there and twitch, breathy gasps falling from your gaping mouth, the pain only throwing fuel to the fires of your rage.
"Please, we call you here! Honor us with your presence!" Bess chants. Cole step away from you when the candles roar and your vision is filled with bright red and orange.
The ground beneath you rumbles. Whispers fill your ears, nothing you can ever imagine understanding, but something tells you they're other summoners. Or maybe little souls of those who were just where you are now, with a people sacrificing them.
It's odd, you think as blood soaks your back, your hair. You thought you'd be more scared in what could be your final moments. But there's only anguish where there should be fear. Only unfettered violent tension felt in your muscles, and a tongue hungering for iron and gore. You're jaw is wound tight enough to shatter your teeth.
If you could think straight, if you weren't about to die, you might be a little concerned. Never have you wanted to sink your fingers into someone's soft bits as much as you do now. This is normal, right? A normal amount of rage for the people taking your life.
Something in your gut tells you it's not.
In the fog of your rage, you missed the appearance of a pair of men above you. They hover, leathery plum colored wings sagging. One wears a leather strap harness across his chest, while the other favors an unbuttoned silk shirt. One of them looks at you curious as the fire dies, steam and copper colored smoke bellowing from his mouth. A thick cigar hangs on his lips.
"You came! There's... two of you?" Cole gawks, then falls to his knees beside Bess. You can't help but scoff at their sniveling forms.
"We did. There are." The one without the cigar brushes back his long mohawk to get a better look at the whimpering humans. They're nothing new to them, just another set of weak little things looking to get something without putting in the work for it.
Well, they might have had to put in the work to capture you, based on the way you still squirm and fight the rope keeping your arms together. So much blood has left you. You are going to die. Yet you spend your last moments doing what most humans find to be a waste of precious time. Being angry. It's interesting.
"What do you want?" The bearded one in the silk shirt grunts out around his cigar. Bess lifts her head just a bit to speak.
"We want to make a trade. A soul for a better life for us."
There's a moment of silence. You blink your heavy lids, growing too tired to do much else anymore. Both demons look back at you, then to the kneeling humans.
"They're not dead." They say at the same time.
Bess and Cole stiffen and finally chance a glance at you. You're bleeding, a glassy look to your eye and a smile on your face, but you're not dead.
"See, Bess?" You cough up blood only to swallow it back down, "what did I tell you? The cunt can't make me come and can't... can't even make me go."
The mohawked devil pops a wicked smile, not even hiding it from his would-be contractors.
Cole fumes. "I can finish the job. Fuck, am I going to finish the job." He stands, moving to step into the circle only to yelp, the invisible border around the summoning circle becoming visible if only to shock Cole back.
"Not so fast," the bearded one spawns a scroll in his hand. He's eyes glow a molten orange as he scans it. "Section 1, clause 3, part 19 states: executioner(s) must sacrifice one(1) human soul to contractee(s)... Let's see... Here it is: Sacrificee(s) must be dead upon arrival so that proper collection can be done. If sacrificee(s) is still soul bond upon arrival, then they are made the true contractor and all work will be conducted with them."
"In other words," the mohawked one grinned, "you should have went for the heart." He taps at his chest.
"Or the neck." The other devil offers.
"Or that vein in they're thigh."
"The sephenous, Johnny."
"Yeah, that."
"No, no!" Cole grabs at his hair as Bess looks like she's about to start crying. You want to laugh. They deserve the despair. They deserve the horror in their mistake. They were going to kill you!
"That means," the devils lean back to look at you. "You're our contractor. You get two requests at the price of one, human. I suggest one of those requests includes healing you." He flicks the ashes of his cigar on your leg. You don't even have to think of what you want most right now.
"I want you to untie me." You roll on your side. They wait for the rest. Cole and Bess look like they're going to shit themselves from the pale faced looks of terror they give you. Your eyes narrow. "And a hammer. A old fashioned iron and wood handled hammer."
Another beat of silence before the infernals bend over in laughter. The room shacks, sulfuric smoke pouring from their mouths to funk up the room. Cole tries to cox Bess to her feet while they're distracted. Their feet can't move though. It's like they're glued in placed and no amount of pulling and tugging could get them loose. Shame.
"Yer a funny one, love. I'll love having your soul for a few eternities." The one in leather floats over you, tilting his head this way and that way to get a good look at you. You settle him with a neutral look. "My name is Johnny. You sure that's what you want? I think you've only got a few minutes left in you."
"Then let's hurry this up a little, huh?"
"Ooh, you heard 'em." The cigared one snickers and snaps his claws. Two contracts appear in front of your face, both written in a language you can hardly comprehend. A pen appeared in front of your mouth. "Sign on the dotted line please."
You take the quill in your mouth, dip it in the blood beneath you.
"Rah 'ere?"
"Mhm."
You lean forward to dot the paper with your sloppy signature, but bizarrely enough, it seems like the powers that be have decided that they haven't made enough appearances. The floor trembles, and you worry about your poor infrastructure for a fraction of a second, when a set of gold doors spawn right behind you. You roll back onto your back to intake everything. You swear you're hallucinating when a pair of white winged angels step out, the clouded blue of heaven at their back.
"Hello?" You greet stupidly. You must be losing your mind, right? What the fuck is happening.
"Do not sign a thing." The bronzen angel instructs. "Human, we are here as messengers. God sees great things for you in your ascension. Please do not squander that to these demons." He shoots a sharp look at the demonic pair. The angel's counterpart wears a white cloak, obscuring all but his glowing golden eyes. You half expect him to sing "Be not afraid." despite you actively shitting bricks.
Oddly enough, their appearence seems to have some sort of healing property. Your lethargy starts to clear and the blade in your gut starts to get pushed out. Nothing hurts anymore.
"Oh, so we've got a big soul on our hands here, huh?" Johnny smirks. "Price, what's the plan?"
Price the devil throws his cigar to the ground and crushes it.
"Do what we do best. Bargain."
"Don't play with us, Price." The shrouded angel grunts. He's got a mind piercing voice that's got your head ringing, and you swear it echoes despite the room being well furnished. "We can provide them with just as much, if not more, at no cost of their soul." Those gold orbs land on you. "All we ask for is your faith."
"Jesus fucking Christ!" You tug at your bonds with renewed vigor. The angels wince at the mention of their Lord, but only watch as you force yourself upright. "I could not give a rat's ass who gets what! How about this? First one to get me free and a hammer in hand gets my loyalty."
There's two resounding snaps from either side of you. The ropes disappear, a hammer is in your left and right hand. You don't think deeper on what that implies. You finally stand, dropping the hammer in your nondominant hand, and march over to the two people you thought you could trust. They kneel now, seemingly ready to beg for their souls.
"Come on, don't look scared now." You drop your hands on your hips. "What happened to you finishing the job?"
"I didn't want-"
"Say it with your chest." You poke his breast plate with the iron hammer head.
"I didn't want it to come to this!" Cole yells. The divine audience doesn't say anything about it. They watch you curiously as you bounce the hammer in hand. Your soul is visible to them. What should be a glowing ball of light is a red and white morning star, all sharp edges and pulsing like a heart. Your soul will certainly not end up with the others, that much is true.
"I just... I couldn't keep up with you! Your life style, the way you act, your job. I never left good enough. Bess expressed the same thing and we just... clicked. We would have just left, but we could have never lived without struggling, so we just..." He swallows. You can't look at him anymore, hands clenching at what he says next. "The book called for someone we cared for."
''That supposed to make me feel better?" You tilt your head. Cole winces, eyes falling on your feet. You look to Bess. "Thought you were better than this. You were going to kill me. Because what, I was happy? I loved both of you, you could have just talked to me."
"We're sorry! What more do you want?" Bess sobs. You straighten up, bouncing the hammer on your hip, acting like you next action is something to deliberate. You already know what they deserve, and a flash of sadness bubbles in your chest, but it quickly passes as a hot, searing emotion burns a hole into what little hesitation you had left.
"Reckon I want your souls after all the shit you've caused." You grin before swinging the hammer back and caving in Cole's chest.
"Fuck..." is all you can say after everything is done. Cole and Bess lay in a bloody heep, all recognizable features destroyed and crushed. You pant, hands trembling and nothing but white noise and static crunching around in your head. You just killed your best friend and boyfriend. For some reason, you've never felt so light.
Someone's whistle gets followed by a clap.
"Impressive. Done that before?" Johnny chuckles. He floats closer, hand running down your back as he moves past and pokes around the pulped organs. "Shite, did them right in. Can't tell which is which."
"I've never-" you start to answer, but hands are clapped onto your shoulders, shocking you into silence.
"Well, that was a good place to start, lad. Your swings were a bit sloppy, but we can fix that." Price squeezes at your trapezius, massaging the stiffness out of them. A throat clears, and Price sighs like he forgot there was other company.
"We aren't finished. The human is our ward now, Price." The uncloaked angel snaps his finger, pulling you from Price and making you spawn between the two angels. The bronzen angel smiles down at you with teeth so white you could damn near see your reflection.
"There you are. It's nicer to have you close. My friend here is Simon and I'm-"
"Come on, Kyle, you know he's ours!" Johnny spits, his wings flaring out. "We gave him the hammer first, so piss off."
"Uh...huh." Kyle's smile falls. "I think you're a bit mistaken. Look, after executing the human's request, I have his name here." A stone slab appears in front of your face. It's smells like sunshine and warm grass. What the fuck. "His pledge to the Lord has been set and his soul already has a place next to Their throne."
"Right, right, like we don't have documentation neither." Johnny huffs. The stone disappears as a scroll appears next to the devil. The smell of sulfur and smoke wafts over to you. "His name is right there, pretty boy. Getting yer fuckin' lookers on."
Kyle ignores the rude tone and does pull out a pair of reading glasses to go over the scroll. You stand there in the silence, a little too scared to speak up. What could you do anyway? In a blind anger, you didn't really have the mind to think any of this out. Angels and devils are fighting over you because you'd stupid ass was too blood hungry to think past murder. All that can be done is for them to figure this out amongst themselves, and for you to wait for the sentencing. Heaven, or Hell?
"...Simon." Kyle slowly pulls his glasses off. "This is legit. His soul is promised to all of us."
You glance up at Simon, the scary motherfucker. He blinks. Once. Twice. Then pinches the bridge of his nose with a hagard sigh.
"Shit."
That's not good.
Johnny laughs, Price grinning like a dog with a bone. Kyle marches over to you, patting your shoulders with an awkward smile. His demeanor reminds you of the way your mom acted when she said she was going to divorce your dad. And all you can think is "Not this again." Are you going to be spending your afterlife going between heaven and hell forever? Does God get weekends because Their day is Sunday or whatever?
"We need to go and talk this over with some superiors. We'll clean this up," Kyle snaps and the gore is gone, so is the ritual circle and candles. "And we'll get back to you in the morning." He places a feather light kiss on your forehead, and suddenly you're squeaky clean and in the softest set of pajamas you've ever worn. "Stay safe while we're gone and don't allow these two to influence you. Get some rest."
"Blah, blah, blah," Johnny mocks from the sidelines. Price tilts his head, and there's nothing but amusement behind those eyes. Yeah, this is exactly like your parents divorce.
"O-okay? I mean, I'll try." You shrug.
Simon nods. "That's all you can do." He steps back into the golden doorway and Kyle falls in stride. You make some distance, and with a final wave from a white toothed angel, the doors shut with a slam that shakes the house's foundation.
"Just you and us now, stud."
You turn with a comedic slowness to the devils. Price chuffs and floats forward. His assess you, takes you in in all your fluffy white pajama glory, and it seems he finds what he wants when he nods.
"Guess we've got to talk with top brass to see what's going on ourselves. Pity we couldn't stick around longer." The devil's eyes never meet yours, staying glued to various parts of your face. They hop from ears, to your eyebrows, down to your lips. Christ on a bike, is it getting hot in here? His blue, glowing cerulean eyes appear to flash with something.
"Shite, yer right." Johnny groans. "I hate going down there."
"Suck it up, love. You know how I feel about sharing." Price drops his interest in you like an old toy and takes Johnny close by his waist. You watch with a lead poisoned stare as their noses touch intimately, words you can't hear being exchanged. It's kinda of awkward to just stand there and watch but your brain isn't really functioning well enough to tell you to stop.
"Hey, stud." You blink, refocusing on the pair. Johnny seems to have climbed his partner, his legs on his waist and arms around his neck. Price makes busy opening a portal to hell in your livingroom with one hand, supporting Johnny under his ass with the other. "Sit pretty, yeah? 'll be back before those two arseholes, promise."
"Right... yeah." You nod. "Uh, be safe?"
"Be safe, he says." Price mutters. "Cute." Johnny waves until Price steps through the infernal hole and falls from view. The portal closes right behind him so you'd have no hopes of seeing anything but the red hue of smog and dust.
And here you are. A little dazed, a little sad, probably holding back a break down from the last hour of events. But you're alive and you're healed. There's no blood to clean, you're in comfortable pajamas. Could probably sleep right now if your brain would stop for a minute, but it doesn't look like that's in the plans.
So you look for something to do. Cole and Bess and moved around all your furniture to make the summoning circle. Guess you can start there, right?
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lunatic-pudge · 8 months ago
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Mercs Being Jealous
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(Requested by menenthusiast900069)
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Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.
1.) Sniper
2.) Demo
3.) Scout
4.) Medic
5.) Pyro
6.) Soldier
7.) Engie
8.) Spy
9.) Heavy
Now, onto the headcanons!
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Scout:
-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it
-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating
-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes
-Scout, chill, for real for real
-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him
-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him
Soldier:
-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy
-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you
-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)
-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"
-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation
Pyro:
-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate
-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?
-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare
-It's a very effective form of intimidation
-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't
Demoman:
-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him
-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem
-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy
-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts
-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad
Heavy:
-Heavy? Jealous? Where?
-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous
-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths
-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there
-And stare.
-And stare..
-And stare...
-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that
-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?
Engineer:
-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes
-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe
-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across
(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)
-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender
-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME
-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."
-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end
Medic:
-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING
-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(
-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it
-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)
-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made
-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him
Sniper:
-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?
-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times
-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"
-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave
-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you
-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him
-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)
Spy:
-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so
-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying
-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy
- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner
-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy
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sexhaver · 3 months ago
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im obviously a big fan of factory automation games like Satisfactory and Factorio for a lot of reasons but as an engineer the funniest one is how they make non-engineer players understand through firsthand experience immutable engineering and capitalist truisms like "wait it's really easy and profitable to just scale up incrementally forever as long as you assume resources are infinite and you outsource the labor of physically building everything", or "processing crude oil into fuel and plastics is complicated and requires tearing up a lot of the environment with trains and pipelines", or "trains rule and i need more of them", or "what the fuck why do i need so many fucking screws"
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