#Incorrect torchwood

[tenracoonsinacrisis]

Jack: Ok guys, no having sex with that alien

*Later*

Jack: What did I say?

Gwen: "Guys"

[everlastingautumn23]

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Chim: hello, it is I, your favorite person

Buck: actually Eddie’s my favorite person

Chim: okay then hello, it is I, that bitch

[screaming-sparrow]

jack, outside a bar: *lighting a cigarette* "when you were born i was already working at torchwood isnt that weird"

owen, so drunk he cant stand straight: "can yuo put that out on me"

[serascli]

Tosh: Are you having another depressive episode?

Ianto: A depressive episode?

Ianto:I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

[headcanonthings]

Martha: We’re going to be working with Captain Jack today. Mickey: Jack? Didn’t the Daleks kill him? Martha: I’ll ask. Martha, yelling: HEY JACK DID THE DALEKS MURDER YOU?! Jack, from the other room: YEAH! Martha: See? Mickey: That answered none of my questions.

[lassieposting]

Astarion, loudly, traipsing along behind the party: I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic, and what is that smell?

Halsin, deadpan: That would be grass.

Astarion, scowling: It's disgusting.

[iamsuperwholocked]

Owen: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Ianto: I do have a sense of humor you know

Owen: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Ianto: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

[deathbydran0]

Ianto: Is something burning?

Jack, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Ianto: Jack, the toaster is literally on fire.

[ichangemyusertoomuch]

why are they so chaotic and yet perfect

[hotspace39]

[isabelopaque]

[everlastingautumn23]

[golyadkin]

Would you believe me if I said I have more of these

[inaccurate-janto-conversations]

Rhiannon: *calling Ianto*

Ianto: Hi Rhiannon, are the kids ok?

Rhiannon: Yeah they're fine, I was just wondering-

*sounds of machinery in the background*

Rhiannon: ...what's going on? Is this a bad time?

Ianto: Oh that? No yeah its fine I'm just tossing my boyfriend off a cliff.

Rhiannon: You're...what? What's going on? Is everything alright?

Ianto: Oh yeah. It's just that he's currently fully encased in cement so I've gotta break him out.

Rhiannon: ...

Rhiannon: But wouldn't that kill him Ianto?? If this is a bad time I can-

Ianto: *laughs* Oh don't worry about him he'll be fine. So what's up?

[serascli]

Owen’s only way to communicate affection

Owen: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! 
Owen: *aggressively throws water bottles* 
Tosh: Uh... what's up with him? 
Ianto: he’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. 
Owen: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! 
Gwen, crying: It's working.