#In the mornings and in the evenings I am hit with the most hardcore sugar cravings so maybe it does effect me a bit

[pianokantzart]

Funny because the sugar i put in my coffee is actually what wakes me up ngl lol

Huh... weird. Guess everyone's body has its own way of handling food chemistry.

For me, I've found neither caffeine nor sugar effects me that much physically (except by giving me tummy problems if I consume too much of it), but don't you dare make me get out of bed if you're not going to reward me with a sweet sugary creamy delicious piping hot morning treat.

[anhay-hootenheimer]

1 Year

Today marks the anniversary of being Diagnosed with Diabetes. I had been feeling shitty for quite some time beforehand and in retrospective, the signs were all symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes.

Theres no weaselling out of responsibility, taking the easy way out of blaming genetics or unfortunate circumstances, the diabetes was a devil of my own making. A result of imcredibly destructive and unhealthy lifestyle choices over a prolonged time.

I still remember the day My gp's asistant called and insisted on a fast appointment. It was a bit unusual, I just thought it would be another "be aware of the future impact of your choices" pep talknfro my doc. It wasnt, he flatout, no mercy smacked the diagnosis into my face. An incredibly harsh, yet effective wakeup call. Instantly Inwent home, poured all tge coke in my fridge into the toilet (bottles were opened and prepared withnfreshly squeezed lime juice, the closed ones i had i donated to a coworker) and gave away all overly unhealthy food items i had in my possession.

Called and made a Diabetologist appointment the next morning. hbpa 11 % Hardcore bad. I was enrolled in a course for Type 2 Diabetics, I had to attend once a week over a few months. I learned the basics and got taught a few tricks and was told that for starters, just switching out things for healthy alternatives is fine, change needs to come slow, carefully. I was probably the only one who 100% religiously followed the courses lessons and brought weekly blood sugar measurement values in.

What was the most incredibly hard to pull off change was carbs. You dont realize how carb heavy your diet is until you look to change it. I tried to keep my pure carb content at 100g daily, maximum!!! That led me to stick with a very heavy protein and low fiber diet. Naturally that took only a short time till that caused a whole row od side issues i still struggle with now (to a much lesser degree, but still).

This april things hit a dead stop and over a period of 1 month I hit the lows and highs of digestive problems too grtesque, horrifying and panful to publically disclose. It was at times so bad it drove me to a place too dark too describe. But witg perseverance, help from my friends, physicians and even coworkers I made it through that time aswell.

I stll occasionally struggle with issues and have a bad say now and again, often to the detriment of my mental state. But thats also something I am now seeing someone about.

One year later from the startbof everything, I sit in my favorite cafe and reflect. It was an insanely eventful and difficult year. A year defined by willpower, change, endurance, struggle, pain but also by health, new perspective and positivity. All in all, I think its been a rather positive change altogether. I lost more than 60 kg over this year and my hbpa is now 4.8% (really excellent for a diabetic) and even my blood pressure has stabilized by alot.

I thank my friends, family, coworkers, therapists and all physicians who stood by me during this difficult time. I sincerely could not have done it wthout all of you. As I sit here in my cafe, I lift my triple espresso (no milk foam) and have a cup for all of you and hope for a better future and more positive change in the coming times.

So take it from me: always have enough fiber in your diet and use healthy alternatives wherever possible (wholegrain pasta instead of white flour)

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #3

Feel free to message me about possible corrections, and please consider supporting the creators by purchasing digital copies of the official releases: Novel || Manga || Fanbook. In case anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

← Previous || Index || Next →

T/N: Okay, so, this is one of those chapters where the author makes mistakes in linguistics (but she’s trying, guys, she’s trying!). She writes “prasinon” as “prase” for some reason, and I took the liberty to fix it myself when translating.

Connecting Chrysoprase

Jewelry Etranger sat inconspicuously at Ginza 7-choume. The store owner, Richard, was the possessor of a beauty that you couldn’t think was from this world, but no matter how beautiful he was, once half a year had passed, you would get used to it. And as I got used to him, the questions also surfaced.

“Hey, Richard, don’t you have any favorite foods other than sweets? Do you eat ramen or anything like that?”

Mr. Richard Ranashinha de Vulpian looked at me with scrutinizing blue eyes. Sitting on the red sofa, he had been observing the contents of a large jewel box, holding them up over his head against the morning light shining in from the window.

“I find difficult to figure the aim of the question. Why ramen? I have had meals with you numerous times. I eat anything without likes or dislikes.”

“I know. It’s not like it’s limited to just ramen, but you don’t eat that kind of stuff much, do you?”

Like chives. Or garlic. Or grilled meat dripping with juices.

I knew that this didn’t suit his image. He was a man whose features seemed to have accidentally come out of a dream world. If he told me that he could live off eating department store sweets and pink roses, he could probably have me seriously convinced up to about 70%. That was exactly why I would feel like searching for a gap.

As I was about to ask if he understood this logic, Richard replied curtly with a clay doll-like face, “What ill intentions.”

That was true. I wasn’t some obsessive follower of an idol’s personal life or anything. Richard hit bull’s-eye with the deduction that I “probably ate ramen yesterday”. For some reason, things got awkward. I was in a position where it was better to retreat for a while. Time to change the subject.

“What stone is that? Looks like candy and it’s pretty cute.”

“A type of chalcedony. They are in the same category as crystals. In particular, this one with a milky apple-green color is called chrysoprase.

“Ah~...”

What Richard was pinching with his bare hands - because it was safer to touch it with bare skin rather than wearing gloves, he said, as it wouldn’t cause any damage - was a pale green, round stone. It had low transparency, was cut en cabochon and looked like an old-style candy.

“W-What was it again? The name. Chry...?”

“‘Chrysoprase’,” Richard repeated for me.

How many times had something like this happened? The stone’s name was in a Western language. Basically, all of them were in katakana. My ears did register it, but I couldn’t memorize it in one go at all. Richard was a helpful person, so there were times when he wrote down the names in romaji and explained them to me, but I honestly couldn’t keep up with him. There were countless stones in this world.

“Chryso... aah, no good. It’s hard to memorize.”

“‘Chrysoprase’. It is said to be a stone that helps to harmonize and integrate personalities. Medieval European literature also mentions it as a stone that Alexander the Great loved.”

Alexander the Great. A person I had learned about in high school. Even I knew that name. The fact that a stone adored by a warlord who had long passed away was still loved by people of the current times was thought-provoking. The range of the gemstone world was broad. But, well, leaving that as that.

“How d’you memorize stones’ names? It’s not like you’ve got some test to do like in a history class...”

“Do you think anyone would buy goods from a trader who cannot even say their names?”

“I don’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s hard. There’s lots of types and they sound like magic spells. Like ‘Sri Jayawardenepura Kotte’. It wouldn’t be weird if you felt like cheating without a care in the world. You got any trick for memorizing them?”

“My compliments to you for being able to pronounce the official name of Sri Lanka’s capital. But I cannot praise the part about carelessly deceiving people. Once your reputation falls to earth, it does not recover so easily. To begin with, your perception of business in general is too lax for someone enrolled in the Faculty of Economics. I know you have the aspiration, but if you do not pair it to practical abilities and skills, you will be running idle. Shouldn’t you try to improve these skills once again so that you can avoid unnecessary hardships in the future? Instead of obsessing over finding out something unexpected about the shopkeeper from your part-time job.”

The arguments were so spot-on that I was at a loss for words. Even so, still with a slightly exasperated face, Richard continued to speak. Most likely, it was his gentle side’s turn from here on out.

“Still, you are right, I do have a trick. If I were to use the capital as an example, ‘Sri Jayawardenepura Kotte’ had its original name ‘Kotte’ being embellished with the title of ‘President Jayawardene’s Sacred City’. When you know the origin of it, doesn’t this line-up of katakana letters that only appears in magic spells turn into meaningful words?”

“So it had that kind of meaning? I see...”

“Is this time to be impressed? Do the same and discover the relatedness of all kinds of matters in your daily life. If you direct your eyes to the depths of your history without sticking to the surface, I guarantee that your world will broaden much more richly.”

“Then what about the chrysoprase of just now?”

As I took a stab at arousing his enthusiasm, the volubly beautiful shop owner smiled gorgeously. I felt that this guy would stay in a good mood forever just as long as I gave him sweets and let him talk about gems. And I liked Richard’s face the most when he was in his best mood.

“This word is taken from the Greek language. It consists of two separate words, ‘chrysos’ and ‘prasinon’. The meaning of chrysos is ‘gold’. The bright golden that can be seen showing through within the green was associated with gold. Prasinon means...”

What happened? His enunciation suddenly got bad.

When I urged him to continue, Richard looked down at the stone in his hand with a dull look and sighed a little. “The meaning of prasinon... comes close to plants such as chives or green onions.”

“Ooh—!”

As I clapped my hands together with an “all paths lead to ramen”, Richard made a face like he had just woken up from a nightmare. What is it? Please laugh.

“In any case, the mental attitude of trying to master something is commendable. I pray that your efforts will bear fruit.”

“Thanks, thanks. Well, will you eat ramen after all?”

Mr. Richard, the jeweler, looked at me with an awfully sharp gaze. What was that face? His facial expression looked like the usual nuance that he was growing fond of my foolishness had increased to about 30%. Did he intend to poke fun on me?

“Yes, yes, I will.”

“What do you prefer? Like miso or soy sauce?”

“A large helping of green onions and garlic. And even then, it is good to grate raw garlic and put in it.”

“That’s a pretty hardcore taste for someone who works with close-contact service business.”

“Which is why this is not something I can eat whenever. I eat it carefully by myself when I do not have to meet anyone the next day.”

As my eyes widened, the beautiful storekeeper raised his chin arrogantly. Did he want to say that this didn’t suit his image or had it just unfolded anew?

“How was it, did you enjoy the so-called ‘gap’?”

“No, it’s not like that’s the main goal.”

“Hah?”

“I can’t invite anyone for a French cuisine restaurant or a high-class sweets store, but if it’s a ramen shop, there’s lots of them near my university. If you like, why don’t we go eat together next time? They’re mostly shops that seem better to drop by wearing a t-shirt rather than a suit, but I wanna try chatting with you while eating this kind of junky stuff every now and then.”

“For you to discover a new unexpected thing about me, you mean?”

“I just wanna get along with you better.”

For an instant, Richard’s facial expression strained hard. What was up? His face looked like he hadn’t known better and bit a sour pickled plum or something. As I furrowed my brows, his blue eyes narrowed, looking glum, while he closed the jewel box with a click and stood up.

“Ah, show me more. It wasn’t nearly enough—”

“The chrysoprase is said to have the power to put the balance of mind and body in order, as well as make it spring up comfortably. Perhaps because its fresh grass color is a reminder of spring. Isn’t this stone unnecessary for you, since you are always in a festive mood?”

“Why’re you angry?”

“I am not.”

“Shouldn’t you take a better look at the chrysoprase?”

“Thank you for the unnecessary meddling.”

Leaving me with things to say, Richard disappeared into the back room. Was it that bad to invite him to a ramen shop? It wasn’t a good idea to let him stay angry, so I voluntarily prepared two cups of royal milk tea in the kitchenette. Having come out into the reception room, Richard said nothing more than the expected as he drank a tea that had a little more sugar in it than usual.

After the customer of that morning had gone home, Richard showed me the chrysoprase once again. Upon a better look, I understood the meaning of that naming, which I couldn’t think of as anything more than a mystery at first. Didn’t the people of ancient times think that this was a plant born from gold? The uneven surface was smooth and wavy like an organic body. Chrysoprase. Gold and green onions. Even though there were several gems in this world, I would probably never forget the name of this one. If I ever got to eat ramen with Richard someday, I would definitely bring up this stone.

“Do you remember that talk?” I would ask.

[lokisrare]

our story

A/N: Just in case you don’t know I’m a hardcore Harry Styles fan and Fine Line belongs to a museum so I thought of this (I’ll list the songs at the end) if you haven’t listened to it yet I recommend you to do it, it’s really a masterpiece. I won’t put any warnings because there aren’t any, except some angst anyway I hope you all love it, if you do, let me know! Had to repost because the links weren’t working and I didn’t know how to fix it so yeah lol

WORDS: 2071.

PLOT: George recapitulates his life with Lola as she walks down the aisle.

PAIRINGS: George Mackay x ofc.

She (she)

She lives in daydreams with me (she)

She’s the first one that I see

And I don’t know why

I don’t know who she is (she, she)

Maybe it was the pink hair that had completely grabbed his attention towards her or maybe the different flowery jumpers she used to wear almost every day; the thing is, George realized as days passed by that she owned a lot of them, with different colors and patterns, not because he stared at her all of the time like a psycho -or maybe a little-, but because she just outshined everyone wherever she was by the way she dressed and how spontaneous her personality seemed to be.

It was a Monday morning, it was really early and everyone looked like crap including him, except for her, she was doing one of the girls’ hair while looking effortlessly beautiful, now the locks of her hair were violet and a nose piercing made its first appearance; George was mesmerized by her and only realizing how much he was staring when someone hit his head in the back. Really hard.

“Careful! You idiot.” He said while massaging the back of his head.

He was about to get up to follow Andrew, who was already walking off while laughing but a little giggle stopped him in his tracks; turning around, he directed his attention to the make-up section where she was looking at him with a funny expression on her face, her cheeks blushed when she realized he heard her. George smiled at her and when she smiled back his heart stopped for a moment. Cheesy. But it was a start, he thought at the time, he still didn’t even know her name but it was a start. Definitely.

Sunflower

Sunflower

My eyes

Want you more than a melody

Let me inside

Wish I could get to know you

“Lola please, it’s just a coffee. If you hate me after it, I won’t talk to you or even look at you” he pleaded.

He had finally gotten her name, it suited her, he thought. George had reached out to her one night while she was organizing her stuff, after that, they started to talk almost every day on set; early in the mornings when no one really wanted to talk they’d be laughing at some stupid conversation topic.

But George wanted more, he wanted to know other things rather than the superficial stuff, he wanted to really get to know her.

Lola crossed her arms and huffed, George thought it was funny how intimidating she was even when he was way taller than her, it was like she was always the one in control, and he found himself already liking this side of her.

“I told you I don’t like to get involved with people from my job, I’m still working my way into this industry and I don’t want to fuck it all up” she said, very serious and looking really concerned about her place at the time and George almost instantly regretted being so insistent.

“I’m sorry, you’re completely right,” he saw Lola’s face transform into a look of surprise and relieve, maybe it was the first time a boy actually listened to her and understood her reasons; “but, please, keep doing my make-up, Rose makes me look like a Ken doll whenever she gets her hands on my face and I creep myself out when I look in the mirror.” He tried to ease the moment with a not-so joke.

Lola let out a laugh and nodded. He smiled at her and started to leave not before leaning in and kissing her on the cheek, before turning on the opposite direction he caught a glimpse of her blushing and smirked.

Before he could cross the door, he heard her let out a curse under her breath and a heavy sigh right before she called out his name, asking him to come back into the room.

“Fine, let’s grab a coffee, but I get to choose the place.” Lola said with a shy smile. It was the first time she didn’t look as her confident self, he thought.

“It’s a date, then” George smiled satisfied and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Not a date, it’s just a coffee.”

Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin’

And it sounds just like a song

I want your belly and that summer feelin’

I don’t know if I could ever go without

Watermelon sugar high

Every day it passed he realized how much of a free old soul she was. Lola loved exploring and finding places; like one time in England when she found an abandoned theater with a little museum inside and made him spent the night, it wasn’t creepy at all because they also found out stray dogs lived there. Maybe if he made a top three of their dates, it would’ve been number two because now, as he stared at the ocean right in front of him while he seated on the top of a rock he thought this date would be placed in number one for sure.

Not only because he loved the beach and how private and intimate this place was, but how beautiful she looked with that loose white dress she was wearing, her hair up in a messy bun, and her cheeks red because of the sun.

“I could stay here forever,” he said mostly to himself as she was eating a piece of watermelon, she nodded, her mouth full. It made him laugh at her, she looked like a little girl doing a mess.

“I wouldn’t though, this place gives me the creeps during night because those rocks there look like a skull when its dark and some friends say they heard a woman crying once.”

“Oh, we are not staying then. Definitely not.” Lola nodded agreeing with him while she cleaned her hands, once she was done she laid her head on top of his thighs.

George smiled down at her and looked straight into her eyes and then down to her lips, Lola grabbed the back of his neck leading his lips into hers.

The kiss was soft but loving, her lips tasted sweet and he thought how he could never get tired of her.

Lola was something else.

But I can feel it take a hold (I can feel it take a hold)

I can feel you take control (I can feel you take control)

Of who I am, and all I’ve ever known

Lovin’ you’s the antidote

Golden

“Lola, sweetheart, would you help me over here?”

“Of course!”

George looked at Lola as she helped his mother with some recipe for a dessert she had found on the internet.

He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop staring at her, maybe the fact that it was the first time in four years -five almost-, he saw her with her natural hair color and she looked absolutely stunning, her nose ring was still there but her factions were way more mature.

Or maybe it hit him how much they had grown together, how many moments they lived, great and not so great, and how much he loved the way his family adored her.

He loved her. Lola had him since the first moment he landed his eyes on her and then never let him go. She was his treasure, his gold, his everything and he was so happy knowing he was the exact same thing for her.

It was then when he looked down at his pocket and felt the little delicate ring his grandmother gave to him. He never felt more ready.

There’s things that we’ll never know

You sunshine, you temptress

My hand’s at risk, I fold

Crisp trepidation

I’ll try to shake this soon

Spreading you open

Is the only way of knowing you

We’ll be a fine line

(…)

We’ll be alright

The apartment was dark and silent. It felt as it was completely empty. Yet it wasn’t. George was sitting at the end of the hall, his back against your shared bedroom door, it was long time ago when he last heard you sob, he figured you’d be sleeping by now but still it didn’t felt right to come in.

He hurt you, he was well aware of it, yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He knew he had no control over this part of his job, the traveling.

He knew Lola liked to pretend she was doing fine, she didn’t like to be seen as fragile or dependent, she was raised that way, he could never blame her, but it was hard sometimes when George wanted nothing but to know what was hurting her, it was so hard to get Lola to open up about how she was feeling.

He would feel like she didn’t trust him, and distance fucks things up most of the time when trying to talk things through, she was stubborn and he wasn’t patient.

George got up and slowly opened the door, she was facing him and he could tell she was peacefully sleeping by her calm breathing.

He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Lola, her nose was still a little red, he noticed her eyes had gotten a little swollen too, it broke him because he hated being the reason behind her suffering.

George caressed her cheek, then her arm, slowly and lovingly; he looked at her hand, his grandmother’s ring decorating her finger. George felt his chest getting heavy and his sight getting blurry from the tears so he closed his eyes letting them fall, it hurt him too, he hated to leave her for so long, he hated not being there for her accomplishments or her difficult times and vice versa. Sometimes he felt his love wasn’t enough.

George opened his eyes startled as he felt her hand cupping his face. Lola was looking at him, her sight holding sadness and tiredness but yet he could feel the love on her delicate touch.

“Come here” was all she said.

George laid beside her and she hugged him, their faces inches from each other, he kissed her forehead as she closed her eyes.

“We’ll be alright” she said before falling back asleep, and George held to that promise.

And oh we started

Two hearts in one home

It’s hard when we argue

We’re both stubborn

I know, but oh

Sweet creature, sweet creature

Wherever I go, you bring me home

Sweet creature, sweet creature

When I run out of road, you bring me home

All this moments, the good and the bad, the really low times when they had nothing but each other to hold on to and the happiest of times when they also had each other to share their joy.

It all came to flashes to George’s mind as he saw her walking down the aisle to him, her white gown with little golden flowers decorating it perfectly, she had her hair up but he could still see the pink on the ends of it falling loose from her hairdo, just like the first time he saw her.

And maybe, he thought, he wouldn’t be able to promise her a perfect marriage but he could promise her his devotion and all the love and adoration he felt for her.

Because he loved Lola since the first time he saw her, when she still had a baby face with round cheeks and so many doubts about her future and he loved her now as the successful woman she had become, so confident, so smart and so beautiful.

When she finally arrived to him, he realized he was crying when she laughed and cleaned his cheeks with her fingers.

“Oh please George, you’re going to ruin the Ken doll make up” she said jokingly.

“Yeah, joke all you want. Look where just a coffee leaded us too” George said and Lola looked at him with a confused look, he smirked at her and then she gave him a look, realizing what he meant.

“God, George, can we please get married before I regret it” she said making the priest laugh.

“You had 8 years for that” he bragged, “fine, let’s get this done milady” he took Lola’s hand winking at her as the priest started speaking.

He stared at her. She was perfect. This day was perfect.

________

from Fine Line(2019): She, Sunflower, Watermelon Sugar, Golden, Fine Line. from Harry Styles(2017): Sweet Creature.

(CLICK THE ALBUM’S NAMES IF YOU WANT TO CHECK THEM OUT)

[crystallinecrimsonmoth]

Starker prompt/moodboard idea: Peter is a quiet, gentle soul during the day. Working on school. But at night he’s a raging party machine. He goes to raves. He does hard drugs. Drinks so much he forgets where he is. And Tony meets him at one of his famous hardcore parties. The two hit it off, Tony becomes Peter’s sugar Daddy and feeds into all his Guilty pleasures and in return, he gets a pretty boy in his lap. (If this prompt is uncomfortable I can send a tame one!)

Hiya! Here is my response to your prompt - enjoy the morbid shit that you encouraged.

To everyone who sees this fic, anonymous or not, feel free to send more prompts ‘cause I am bored as shit right now and need inspiration.

Tags: @irondaddio

In the light hours of the day, Peter Parker was the most innocent soul you could ever meet. He wore oversized hoodies, applied chapstick every few hours to keep his lips from drying out, and had the biggest array of stuffed animals to ever exist covering almost every inch of his bedroom floor.

He was a model student, always handing in assignments two days early and making little cupcakes for each of his teachers on their birthdays because, of course, he knew all of their birthdays. He sat right at the front of the class, big black square glasses perched on his nose as he listened intently to the words being said and the lessons being taught.

Everyone in his classes wanted to hate him. He was a suck-up who answered every question right and palled around with the teachers at lunchtime in order to gain their favour and get help with his homework. He never had a nasty word to say about anyone and no one had ever heard him swear, but it was impossible to hate the teen. He was too nice to do anything but pick him up and squeeze him like the teddy bear he was.

Pastel colours and fluffy sweaters were his aesthetic at school, sporting a backpack with sparkling galaxies adorning it and seashell bracelets on each wrist.

The seventeen-year-old was so perfectly innocent, that no one ever thought to question the slithers of dark bruising that showed under his shirt collar or the red scratches on his neck, and if they ever did, Peter blamed his cat, Minnie, who everyone had met and knew to be a vicious little demon.

No one ever suspected that the innocent and delicate Peter Parker was a party animal in disguise.

When the sun went down, he changed at the speed of a light switch. The teen dressed up in shorts high enough to show the curve of his ass with his long legs bare to the world where a ripped skin tattoo stretched over the expanse of his thigh, designed to expose the galaxy inside of him. 

His shirts were always too short for his torso, his toned stomach on display for whatever guy that wanted lick and bruise it during the course of the night, and he lined his eyes with black to make the honey-glazed colour of his irises stand out and entice whoever he wanted to go home with that night. He always wore a much darker pink lip-gloss too, to stand out against his pale skin, making his lips luscious and shiny for everyone to see.

He dressed the exact same way, with purple converse contrasting against his skin and his shirt falling off one shoulder, on the night that he met Tony Stark. When his life changed for better or worse, depending on which way you looked at the situation.

Peter was already high on black market acid by the time he arrived at what could have been his fiftieth or hundredth rave for all he knew. He was so used to the drug that the hallucinations hadn’t come for months, but he still felt fuzzy and warm and couldn’t stop giggling whenever someone said something funny. He always went unnoticed by most people at the start of the night, wandering over to the bar to do tequila shots until he couldn’t form a sentence anymore, but soon enough he was too drunk to shy about in the corner of the room, slinking onto the dance floor with all the other sweating bodies that were grinding against each other like horny bears.

The teen wasn’t entirely sure what he was in the mood for that night. With enough alcohol in him, he’d fuck anything with a pulse, but for now, he still had some inhibitions, so as he danced through the night, his body warm and sensitive, he monitored the bodies surrounding him. He was eager to find someone to fuck him in the bathroom of the club.

By the time three hours had passed, Peter was so far gone into the arms of twenty-five shots of tequila and the residual effects of his acid pills that he could barely focus on anything other than dancing. His tolerance was high, after so many nights out, so it was easy to do as long as he ate a meal before leaving the apartment.

He was barely on earth when he felt two arms wrap around his waist, a tight grip securing him against a hard, muscled chest.

‘Been looking to get your attention all night, sugar. What’s your name?’ A low voice purred in his ear and Peter melted into the embrace, bringing his arms up behind his head to feel the man’s face and purring at the texture of a beard on his jaw.

He couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his fingers over the coarse hair, the friction causing electrifying sparks to go through his fingertips. The acid always did help make the experience more pleasurable - so thank god for facial hair, as Peter always said. The teen got so lost in the feeling of the man’s beard that he barely comprehended when it moved to scratch at his neck, soft lips pressing against the shell of his right ear.

‘You must be pretty high, kitten, if you can’t even remember your name.’ The same low, smooth tone murmured in his ear, a wet tongue flicking out to lick at Peter’s cartilage piercings which made the teen let out a little gasp, his hands falling to grip at the man’s arms and turning around with peaked curiosity when he felt metal under his right hand.

‘What?’

‘Your arm…’

‘You like it? I made it myself.’ The man grinned, flexing the arm that moved like flesh but looked like metal.

Peter’s eyes went wide, amazed at the technology he was seeing.

‘So cool.’ He murmured, running his fingers up and down the smooth surface until he was shaking with the oversensitivity it brought to them.

His mysterious stranger, whoever he was, then lifted his chin so he would look him in the eye, whiskey-brown gaze boring into his skull. His pupils were just as dilated as his own, showing he was at the party for the same reason, and the sight made Peter grin.

‘I’m Peter.’

‘Tony. How about we make a deal, kitten? I’ll buy you the best shit on the market if you let me keep you.’ He smirked, licking his lips as he stared at the teen who stood a whole head shorter than him.

‘Hell yes.’ Peter nodded, and before he knew it, he was bent over the sink of the club bathroom, Tony’s length ramming into him repeatedly in full view of anyone who came in to use the facilities.

He could barely think with all the angles that pleasure was hitting him at. From then on, acid, alcohol and a millionaire’s dick became his whole life.

Tony Stark had never been a man of morals.

Even when he was captured and tortured in Afghanistan, even when he lost his arm, he continued to be a drug- and alcohol-fuelled maniac. He’d been a single bachelor for as long as he could remember, even as he approached forty-five with a caffeine addiction that could rival a cat on kitty litter, but the moment he saw Peter Parker dancing in the middle of that club, he was spoken for.

The two had been together for three months when Tony really started having feelings. He’d been paying for Peter’s drug habit since the night they met, buying him acid and cocaine and whatever else he asked for, and then he’d join him to get high all night. At work, he had become the pretty thing that sat on his lap during meetings, making all his colleagues jealous enough that you could see veins popping in their foreheads, and it kept a shit-eating grin on Tony’s face.

He knew Peter during the day too, and he’d fallen head over heels with the pastel-wearing bunny rabbit of a boy the moment he first saw him. He’d moved him out of his student digs, of course, and into his penthouse where everything was much more comfortable, so he got to see the beauty as he woke up in the morning, hair in disarray after another night of partying or a movie night between the two of them.

Then it started getting worse.

Tony had done a lot of drugs. In fact, he’d probably done almost every drug under the sun at least once, so he knew what dependence looked like, and he knew the pain that overdosing caused.

When the skin around Peter’s beautiful amber eyes got darker, and his small hands that fit perfectly in Tony’s trembled so much he shattered a glass of water on the kitchen floor, he knew it had gone too far.

Peter injected something new into his system every week, and he smoked shit every day. When Tony looked at him now, it felt like looking through a void. The teen he knew wasn’t there anymore. There was no soul inside his boy, no heart. He had changed so much that Minnie didn’t even go near him now.

The fact that Tony had been the one to feed Peter’s habit haunted him more than anything ever had. He had encouraged the kid to try new things, he’d introduced him to it all. It was his fault.

‘Peter? Honey? Do you want some tea?’ He asked in a soft voice one day as the teen lay on the couch, fiddling with a rubber band like a fixation.

He didn’t react at first, completely enthralled by the band, but then he found enough focus to reply.

‘I got a fresh batch of shit from Greg yesterday. You want to join?’ Back to drug talk.

Tony flinched at the thought of taking anything. He had stopped, cold turkey, the moment he saw Peter shot up with heroin for the first time. He’d thrown up, went through the cold jitters, all of it, while his younger boyfriend was out at another club getting high - he didn’t want to worry him like he was worrying the older man.

So he simply shook his head, squeezing the tea bag in his mug to get the taste out of it.

‘I thought you got high last night?’

‘Did I?’ Was all Peter replied as he slid off the couch, shoulders drooped as he wandered towards their bedroom, rubbing his eyes.

Tony watched with a heavy heart, letting out one last sentence.

‘I love you.’

‘Love you too, Tones.’ Then he disappeared into the room and shut the door.

When Tony found Peter, his universe fell apart.

He thought it was a cruel joke at the start. His boyfriend just looked lifeless cause he was sleeping so heavily again. But Peter wasn’t moving. His chest wasn’t breathing in and out. His entire body was still.

So when he realised that it might not be a joke, he leapt to attention, checking everything he could. His neck was first, but he couldn’t find a pulse there. He checked his pupils with a torch when he saw the pinpoint appearance of them, no reaction.

He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to accept that he was living in a world without the pastel-wearing chemistry nerd who loved stuffed animals and thought the universe was such a beautiful thing. He wanted to live forever with the brunette, helping him with his homework and holding his hand while eating hotdogs walking down the street.

Tony didn’t want this, but as he pressed his ear to the space where Peter’s heartbeat used to sing him to sleep, he lost all hope of getting his love back.

Peter was dead. He’d overdosed on whatever stupid shit Greg had sold him and he’d died alone because Tony was just too fucking weak to watch his lover hurt himself anymore. He’d died alone because Tony loved him too much.

I love you.

He didn’t think that those would be the last words he ever said to Peter Parker, but despite the pain that ripped through his heart when he found him, he was glad that’s what he said.

He could have started a fight, argued with him about his drug habit, screamed at him for being an ungrateful whore, but instead he told him he loved him.

Tony couldn’t live without regrets, but he could live without that one.

[kellendriaaa]

Little Star

Cast : James Buchanan Barnes, Amelia Yona Ivory (OFC), Virginia Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers (mentioned), Tony Stark (mentioned)

Pairings : James x Amelia (OFC; WOC); Pepper x Tony

Summary : Been standing in the corner, studying the lights. The dreaming of escape will keep you up at night but someone had put the flare up, got me in rays. So... I guess I better stay

Words : 4526

Notes : Hello something in my head for a while and needed to be out so that's it. That's a hardcore Coldplay and Marvel fan talking which I am.

Holding herself against the wall while brushing her teeth, she feel another kick of pain. Trying to move past it, Amelia rinse her mouth throwing water on her face trying to wake up correctly, hunger take upon her and she immediately go to the fridge making herself a breakfast, a very full breakfast with eggs and pancakes and chocolate and everything that include sugar. Thankfully, nobody in her family got diabetes, well for as far as she know. After all the cooking, she sit down on the couch watching TV trying her best to not think about anything that concern bad thought.

A knock on the door get her away from the memories, getting up she walk to the door opening it slightly just enough to see the incomer. A red headed woman, beautiful with blue eyes and a kind smile. Her freckles showing behind the light makeup she wears, red lipstick showing how white her teeth was, a pretty knee navy dress with a little black bag. She totally doesn't fit the neighbor.

"Can I help you?" Amelia ask getting the red headed woman out of her own scan.

She nods quietly, her smile not getting away, "Yes. I'm Pepper Potts and I'm here to talk to you."

"Well, I'm sorry Mrs. Potts but I don't know you."

"I know but I really need to talk to you, you probably know about Tony Stark or Steve Rogers?"

She sigh pinching her noses, indeed, she know them and it is already too much, "Unfortunately I do and if you are here from them then I will tell you what I said to them: 'I don't want anything from them' so thank you Mrs. Potts." She finish closing the door only to be stop by the hand of the woman.

"Please, I'm not here from them, Tony don't even know I'm here." She take a deep breath, trying to gather all the courage she had 30 minutes ago. "I'm here from James Barnes."

Frowning, Amelia let her in and close the door behind her. The shock visible on her face rapidly gain Pepper's face. Amelia stop her right away because she do not want to talk about it, not now, not after hearing his name for so long. Pepper wait for her on her feet until Amelia indicate her to sit down on the couch, proposing her tea that she immediately accept with a smile. Sitting difficulty in front of her she look at Pepper. Especially the ring on her finger.

"When are you doing it?" Amelia ask sipping her own chocolate milk.

First, confusion take over Pepper before looking at where the young lady eyes are, "Oooh! The ring? Soon I think, we both don't want to rush."

"Tony Stark I suppose."

"What makes you think that?"

Letting her mind guide her, she smile "You are kind and quiet, totally disciplined and you are what Mr. Stark need, you tranquilize him if people would think that you would have fit Mr. Rogers more it's the opposite actually, if you were not there he probably would have destroyed this earth." She take a pause, waiting for a reaction but only a smirk from the red headed one. "Ok, I did some research but even without that I would have think the same." They both laugh, calming the air but it get tense fast because the subject was about to come.

"How did you met him?"

She smile, what a weird memory but a good one.

It was not the first time she saw him, every morning before crossing the street to the school he was there. Always in black, his long dark hair falling in front of his eyes always buying the same articles, which by the way she didn't know what it was. But, she promised herself she will take a better look the next day. For about a month, she liked to stalk him every morning, how great he treated this old woman or how his hair flipped with the air and him looking like a model right from an L'Oréal ad. So many times, she almost ran into the floor lamp, the same floor lamp but always stopped before hitting it because every time he realized someone was looking at him. She had the most human reflex that every living being would have, she ran.

She always had her morning run because of him.

Running the little school she kept up, she opened the door being greeting by Anghel, the young man she engaged to help her with the establishment. Thanks to him, it didn't fall onto the children and now it was more beautiful than ever. She was a volunteer teacher, helping the little kids and parents in this part of the neighbor. It was a poor neighbor but rich in cultures. And she met Anghel last year, he was struggling in the streets, a little bit snarky to other people he didn't know even when she tried to help him. He didn't wanted any charity, that's how by slowly gaining his trust she proposed him a job in her school where he could do the cleaning, repaired what was damaged and particularly learning.

Amelia has 23 kids at her charges, taking them for free while their parents were killing themselves at the job, most of the times coming late but she didn't care much. More time with theses littles ones, playing with them, laughing and taking care to see at the end all the love they gave to her with gifts and hugs. Knowing their parents put their trusts into her to be their figure of education was another reason she loved her job.

"Bună dimineaţa!" Anghel said in Romanian with a smile.

"Bună dimineața și pentru tine Anghel!" She said back waving him. She had to learn Romanian really fast to talk to those people around her, but she could learn them English while learning Romanian too. "How are you doing this morning?"

"Good actually, Mamă got a promotion, nothing big but enough for her to work less."

"Oh, good! You can spend more time with your mother and less time here now." She said jokingly, dressing the little table.

"No way! I am not going anywhere. What about you? Still got your morning run?"

"Please, don't talk about it! He is getting faster now, I had to run faster too." She laughed bitterly, her legs started to hurt her.

He only laughed at her answer, he didn't saw the mysterious man yet but heard about him so many times, he probably knew more about him than the man himself.

Seeing the kids coming, they opened the door letting them in. After a bunch of hugs and kisses, the day could begin.

When the moon was showing and the last child was gone, it was time for her to close the school. This time she was alone, Anghel went home sooner to spend the day with his mom, first time after the death of his father she couldn't say no. However now, she might regretted it a little bit seeing how dark was the road she needed to take. After taking a deep breath, she started to walk before seeing the one she was stalking his body resting against a tree with his arms crossed with judgment but a little smirk on his face.

But, an arm grabbed by the neck, dragging her in of the building cage still choking her. Trying to get away from him, she kicked him in the chest only to hurt herself. The more time past, less air was going in her body, she debated herself as much a possible no matter what the man with a black mask didn't wanted to let go. She thought about Anghel and the children who needed her, she couldn't let them.

Then, a second after the man was on the ground screaming like a coward, was it the same man who choking her to death one second ago?

Still on the ground holding her neck she turned around and saw the L'Oréal man, to say she was happy was definitely not enough.

"Spying is never a good thing." He said trying to put her up.

"That's how you first met?" Pepper ask now grabbing one of the pancakes who seems delicious.

"Hum hum, he thought I was a spy and even threatened me." She smile at that, "But at the end, we get closer and actually start to 'date'." She say mimicking quotation marks. Pepper frown probably asking herself why the quotation mark. "James never did dating, he was so awkward at everything but still cute so I think it was great. We started to hang out a lot, then kissing a lot then him spending a lot of time in my house, living with me. I didn't knew much of his past life and I definitely didn't wanted to push him, then his nightmare started. I was powerless in front of this, the violence and the memories were too much."

"But you helped him?"

Amelia nod.

Holding his arms on the bed trying to stop from making any movements. His metal arm was slowly reaching her own arm.

"James, baby wake up please." She get on him trying to wake him up. "Barnes! Wake up now!" She said a little louder only for him to wake up brutally. She immediately hugged him.

"Melie?"

She nodded vigorously against his chest, "Yes, I'm here don't worry."

"You… You were… I was about to…" He couldn't finished his sentence.

"It's ok James, look at me little star, focus on me." She said her hands holding his head, his eyes were red and he was about to cry. "Can you wait for me here?" She asked unsure. He, himself, wasn't sure. "Just a minute ok?"

He nodded kissing her slowly and deeply. She went into the bathroom for what seemed like an hour for him when it was only 5 minutes, he saw her hand reaching his one, the metal one.

"C'mon little star, I trust you."

His cold hand grabbed her hot and wet one following her in the bathroom to see the bathtub full of water. She slowly removed his clothes and removed her own to get in the hot water first. He followed her right after, resting on her chest.

His arms around her while her own hand stroked his long dark hair. She started humming one of her favorite song.

"It's a fools gold thunder. It's just warning rain. Don't let the fears just start what if I won't see you again, around here you never want to sleep all night. So start falling in love, start the riot and come on rage with me. We don't need words, we'll be birds. Got to make our own key. Only got this moment, you and me. Guilty of nothing but geography." Humming Birds from Coldplay, song of her dreams, song of freedom and love. Feeling him caressing her legs, she kissed the top of his head. "Away with me, we don't need words. Close your eyes and see, we'll be birds flying free. Holding on in the mystery. Fearless through this you said, we'll go through this together. When you fly won't you take me too? In this world so cruel, I think you're so good."

He smiled against her skin, "This is not the right the end."

"You know the song?" She asked when he got at her height kissing her nose.

"You spend your most of your time singing Coldplay around the house."

It was her time to smile, she let go of his hair kissing him slowly going to his neck leaving a beautiful hickey. She always tried to leave hickey on his body but failed every time, now her teeth were out showing how proud she was.

"I did it! Wow this one better not disappeared or I will lose my control."

He laughed slyly, "I love you angel, you know that?"

"Show me little star, show that you're mine as much as I'm yours."

Pepper never knew pancakes could be that good with a story. She was full but wanted more.

"So you know about his past?"

"Yes, indeed. I know about the winter soldier, I know about… Bucky but I never called him like that. He was my little star."

"Why little star?"

"Because of the star on his arm. He hated this arm but I wanted him to accept it, it was a part of him and I love every part of him."

She can see the love in her eyes, it never go away and probably never will, "How was he adapting with the technology?"

She laugh at the thought.

She was washing the dishes, humming 'Everglow' slowly when a loud crash ringed through her ears almost letting the plate fall on the ground. She catch it just in time then turned around to see what her amazing other half did. She prayed hard, very hard hoping it was not another computer broken.

Reaching their room, she saw her beautiful lover looking back at her shameful.

She knew.

"Angel…"

"Did you break another laptop trying to close it very delicately? The fifth one" She asked pinching her nose, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Bouncing from one leg to another, eyes looking at the ground he said, "Actually the sixth but it was even more delicately but then the laptop close itself too fast."

"Baby… what am I going to do with you huh?"

Sadness showed in his eyes, "Keeping me?" He asked slowly.

She held him in her arms, she was shorter than him just reaching his shoulder. Her lips rested on the scars of his metal arms kissing them slowly.

"Forever, never doubt it little star."

"He broke 3 phones because Siri talked to him." She hears Pepper laugh, "He was afraid that one day I will go away, know the real him and run. I never did and I never will. I adore him as much as he did even when he was possessive and jealous."

"Jealous? Of who? Anghel?"

"Totally, he started to work with me at the school, teaching the young people to defend themselves in front of aggressor. After my aggression, which by the way never happened again, I wanted him to learn to the little girls and boys to be stronger and I know one he could do it."

"No."

One hour, it has been one hour since she tried her best to convince him to work with her. If she didn't get what she wanted, feeling and seduction will come.

"Baby, listen to me…"

"No."

"But why? I need your help, the kids need y-"

"NO!"

This time he shouted punching the wall with his metal arm making her jump in fear. He immediately felt guilty, so he went close to her reaching her carefully with the human arm. His heart broke when she pushed it away but took the metal one just to put it against her cheek closing her eyes at the feeling.

"Angel I said no, I don't always do that because I love you so much with all my heart and because I love you this much I will not be able to see your face like that again. Scared of me, neither the children."

Her mouth still closed.

"What will happen if I couldn't control it? If I hurt-"

"No."

"What?"

"I am the one saying no now, you are not bad baby. Someone bad wouldn't be afraid of my judgment, he wouldn't kissed me like you did last night, he wouldn't held like you did, he wouldn't have make love to me like you do every time." Guiding his metal arm to her hips with that he could hold her closer, "You have the kindest heart I've ever seen, helping me every day in my life, making me happier and cooking the best meals actually even if most of the time they burned." He laughed slyly posing his chin on her head holding her completely while she was trying to memorize every scars around his metal arm. "Never ever you hurt me, neither you'll do with the children. Do you trust me?"

He nodded stroking her hair gently, "But I don't trust myself."

"That is where you are wrong, you are mine and I am yours right?" He nodded again not sure about where she was going when he felt her smile against his chest. "So when you trust me then you trust yourself, we are one baby. It's not a 'you' but a 'we' get it?"

"Not totally but kind of."

Getting away from the hug looking at him, "Well it's enough for me to say that tomorrow you have work."

"He teach them?"

"Exactly, he wasn't harsh or brutal, he has never been like that. The kids love him and like to have him at the school… they still ask for him from time to time especially when the 'he is on a private mission' excuse don't work anymore."

A silent takes place between the two women to be break by the vibration of the redheaded phone. But no answer from her.

"You should answer you know, whoever who is calling you non-stop will call the CIA to find you."

She sighs, "We kind of argued and like I told you, he don't know I'm here and I don't want him to know. Nobody should come and disturb you like I did."

Smiling kindly she says, "you didn't disturb me and the only reason why is because you didn't come to soothe your mistakes."

How could someone not fall for her? Pepper asks herself, there was no harm coming from her. Not even a single vice. The way she look at the world is so kind and hopeful that's probably why Bucky wasn't able to let go no matter what. That thought pop in her head.

"Did he ran away?" Pepper asks regretting it once the smile on her face fade away.

She nods putting a lock of that rebel curly hair behind her ear, "that's how I found about his hideout, that place he was sleeping in before we got together."

Their date night was calm and amazing. No panic attack, more trust, he never let go of her hands the whole time, even when she was throwing up because of the big roller coaster in the town fair. It was way too tempting and she liked the adrenaline going in her blood but now, the whole adrenaline thing was too much and the ice cream with the hot dog were going out of her mouth violently. Disgusting and exhausting but his hand was clutched in hers, squeezing it from time to time to help her. After that she looked like a mess, her mascara make her look like a panda, she was tired and weak after washing her mouth. The smile on his face never let her down, always present accompanied with a kiss everywhere on her face or her head. Even with that, she felt stupid.

"I ruined everything…"

Shaking his head in disbelief, he searched for a bench to sit on, he then took her both hands in his kissing them softly. She rolled her eyes with amusement with a little smile on her face, he could be so simpleton sometimes. He loved those little attentions, those little kisses everywhere on her body, he loved giving it as much as he could receive. He knew her little caress will satisfy him.

"I ruined so many…" He was looking the right word.

"Date?"

"No… Rendezvous!" He laughed with her at his own silliness, "I like this one better, just to say that I ruined so many of our time together with my past, you throwing up that vanilla ice cream wasn't that bad."

"Oh please don't remind me, I can feel the taste again." She said knocking her head against his chest, her face scrunching in disgust. He put his hand on her back, she started to shiver in the cold of the night.

"We should head back home, you will not survive not even with my jacket on."

She wanted to argue, first because of her big ego and the fact that she totally could hold the cold with ease and second because it was still so early to leave a fair but when the word 'home' rang in her ears she couldn't stop smiling. The very first time he called her apartment 'home' like their home. Together. The biggest progress was to make him feel accepted, like he belonged here and this the case. She jumped in his arms nodding erratically. At the end, she ended up on his back until they make it home, singing Coldplay song and from time to time he was trying to make her fell.

Once in the apartment, he put her on the ground carefully, "you know you were not supposed to make an entrance like that, you're supposed to hold me in the bridal style." She said jokingly putting his jacket on the couch and removing her shoes when he suddenly put her in his strong arms in that famous bridal style. "I was joking Barnes!"

"No, no, no you wanted it you'll have it."

He started humming the wedding song and get in the apartment in a theatrical way with her laughing loudly, he slowly put her on the big table kissing her forehead.

"Now that we did the bridal entrance can we get to the honeymoon phase?" He asked tickling her neck. She nodded kissing him, for a moment he seemed distant comparing to how the rest of the night ended. But the happiness took over her, she let that go holding onto him.

Waking up from the cold on her, she searched for James next to her but nothing, she got up so fast her mind spin. The time to realize her butt was out, the front door close itself. Did he just… ran away? If it was their first time she would have been worried, but knowing what actually could have been make him run away make her more worried. Throwing away the rest of the covers off her, she put the first thing she found, a dress with some shoes, to run after him but damn, he was faster. It was freaking cold outside, dark and she probably will catch the biggest cold she ever had however comparing to what her lover was going through, it was nothing.

When she loosed her trace, she tried to remember if she has been there. It was close to the market she used to stalk him, there was many building but only one has window with newspapers on it. Following her instinct, she got inside it literally climbing the stairs two by two, it seemed like there was no end to the stairs and he was apparently at the last stage, the highest one. Amazing.

"You better be in there Barnes." She whispered to herself catching her breath between two heartbeats.

When she finally got in front the door, it was half open so that means he just got in there. She wasn't that slow. Hearing some hits on the wall and murmuring, she slowly pushed the door open only to find him knees on the floor hurting his metal arm against the wall in the sort of living room/bedroom. She was afraid to scare him away, that following him was maybe too much. It feels like she entered his personal space, somewhere nobody not even his mind was allowed but the little cry that escape his mouth hurt her so hard, she wasn't able to concentrate.

"James?" She said so quietly, she wasn't sure he heard but from how he turned around with wide eyes, he definitely ear it. No answer from him, just his big blue eyes full of tears looking at her, her heartbeat was ringing in her ears so she kneeled in front of him carefully to not scare him. "Can I?" She asked guiding her hand next to his one, nothing but silence came to her but she did it anyway, the human hand was hurt, bleeding probably broken. Blood was flowing from where his metal arm started. The view was tearing her apart, she silently hold him in her arms just to be hold back, letting his tears fell slowly on her neck.

"I just want to be human."

"I end up taking care of his injuries while he told me everything I know now."

"Did he used to do that often? Hurting himself?"

She nods slowly sadness taking place on her face. How many nights did she had to locked the front door for him to not escape, how time did she spend healing his wounds and how many days she woke up to him taking his distances. So many she lost the tracks on them, but she never gave up, never give up and never will. Another kick of pain make her hold her cup tighter.

"Are you ok? Maybe we should go to-" Pepper start to panic searching for her phone.

"No! Don't need to panic it's normal." Amelia reassure her smiling difficultly, "Everything is fine." Pepper nods, "Why did he told you? For you to come for me."

"He tried to reach me, at the time I wasn't with Tony anymore. Only working nonstop and sometimes checking secretly his team to see how everything was going, then I got this phone call from Wakanda you know?"

"Yes, Mr. Rogers told me it was where he was… sleeping."

"Indeed, just before he called me, I got a text from Steve which totally surprise me saying Bu- James needed my help but he didn't knew why. James was asking for me to come and give you this." Searching in her bag to put it in Amelia's hands.

James B Barnes

32557038 T42 A

His so memorably dog's tags with something new on it, just under his army identity.

Amelia Y Ivory

After the departure of Pepper, her tears start to fall down betraying the emotion she is trying so hard to keep inside her. The pain traversing her is unbearable for her, her heart aching she only can think about his face smiling to her with these oh so sweet blue eyes tearing her apart.

"Where are you Barnes? If you are late again I will kick that thing out of the house."

He laughed shaking his head through the phone, "The thing is a flower, and I'm close to the market, I'll be there soon like always."

"I have a surprise for you."

"Really? What is it?"

"Come and find it." She said caressing her little belly, "You'll love it."

"Not as much as I love you."

"Cheesy boy, but I love you too."

The last thing she remember of him is a conversation on the phone to see his hideout completely devastate.

The last memory of him was the little girl growing inside of her, soon to see the stars on her own.

Hello my little reader ! Hope you liked it, you can tell me what you think ! Love xx

[sonipanda]

Before I Begin…

Please don’t think that I am blogging this as I’m getting paid for it or it was some promo thing… I’m not. I wanted to do it as I thought it was a damn good idea to seeing as I was a proper newbie to all these flavours and wanted to write my opinion of it down somewhere. Not only am I a hosiery lover, but I love my food and drink too!

  So I decided to purchase a sample box from Crumpets & Coffee a few days ago, as I’ve been meaning to try their coffee for a while now but never got round to it.

I got it directly from their website: The ‘Coffee Samplers’ Collection

(The link opens in a new tab by the way)

On here, you can find out exactly what you get inside, how many grams worth in each sachets and the flavours.

I received the sample box (it’s so cute) and got the following samples to try:

Coconut Cream

Toffee Deluxe

Gingerbread

Rich Chocolate

Mint Chocolate

Smooth Vanilla

Cuban Rum

Choc Hazelnut

Maple Walnut

  Sample Size

Each of these samples has around 2 cups worth, however I normally don’t have my coffee mega strong so I will be varying the amount on each. It’s entirely upto you how you choose to do this, so please don’t be judging me here!

  How I Make The Fuel

I normally put in how much instant coffee I want, top it with milk, stir until smooth and then add my water in. I never do it coffee, water and then milk as it can burn and sometimes it can taste really cr*p.

Everyone is different; so choose your own way of making it. I thought I would add this in so you know how I’m blogging it.

  Trial Time

As I’m doing rotational weeks at work, I thought this is the best time to trial them all out (rather than at home where I’m on a tea vibe). I normally work 8am-4pm full week and the switch to 7.30am-5.30pm part week – this is where I’m gonna need the coffee the most!

  Sample 1 – Coconut Cream

So I went with Coconut Cream to begin with. I am a massive coconut fan; anything to do with it, I will get so I was eager to test this one out.

I decided to go with 1tsp to start myself off, as sometimes it can be too strong and there is no going back. As soon as you get the water in, you can instantly smell the coconut – pure bliss first thing in the morning!

I didn’t drink it straight away; I don’t know how people can drink boiling coffee, it just burns my tongue off! Anyways, so around 5 minutes later, I’m already eager to slurp away and oh my God! I am loving it! It was kinda weak (obviously!) but you can still get the coconut taste. You can taste the creamy-ness in it too, which is nice if you like denser coffees; I do, so this is just perfect!

Rate out of 10: 10

Link To Buy The Jar: Coconut Cream Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 2 – Toffee Deluxe

Right so this time I went in for the kill; droopy eyes at work and it’s not even hit 11am! I went for half the sample pack, which is around 2 ½ – 3 tsp.

Once again, as soon as the water goes in, the aroma is lingering around the kitchen!

After another 5 minute wait (goodness sake) I get slurping (I don’t actually slurp by the way, I just like saying that term LOL!) and this is good!!! It’s got that sweet taste and then comes the coffee kick.

This is one for those who like syrups in their coffee instead of sugar. Every time I go for a coffee, I always have to have some sort of syrup in there to stop me adding in sugar (unless it’s Starbucks coffee then I’ll have it a straight Americano).

Sweet-toothers, this is a good one for you to try!

 Rate Out Of 10: 8

 Link To Buy The Jar: Toffee Deluxe Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 3 – Gingerbread

Yesssssssssss finally trying the gingerbread. I am a sucker for gingerbread; I love it. Anything ginger is right up my street (along with Coconut of course!) I normally have to wait around Autumn/Winter to get anything ginger put into coffee from coffee shops, but it’s nice that I have it on demand now!

Now the good thing about this one is that as soon as you rip the seal at the top to open the packet, you instantly smell the gingerbread wafting out (and by the way the pouch isn’t actually open yet!)

I did 2 ½ tsp (so half the pouch) into my mug, milk then water and waited 5 minutes for it to slightly cool down.

This is one I would recommend to those who like depth to their coffee; I didn’t find that bitter coffee taste you can get afterwards and this has a lot of flavour. The gingerbread isn’t sweet and it quite strong, like you’re actually eating it in a cookie form. I found this to be smooth and deep and really nice actually. I just needed whip cream on top to finish it off nicely!

 Rate Out Of 10: 9

Link To Buy The Jar: Gingerbread Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 4 – Rich Chocolate

Okay so a little hesitant about this one as I’m not a chocolate and coffee person, but I will give it a go to say that I’ve tried it at least!

I went with 1 ½ tsp of this good stuff instead of half the pouch just in case!

So 5 minutes later, and already I smell the chocolate. I don’t know whether I like it or not to be honest, it’s a weird on!

Okay so slurp slurp away, and I just get the coffee hit. I only get a subtle hint of the chocolate, which I suppose is not a bad thing for me but could be for you if you love this stuff! I would have put half the pouch in to get the full flavour, but I’m actually happy with this amount. When you go to drink it, you can smell the chocolate, but in terms of taste it’s very very subtle and then the aftertaste is the chocolate.

 Rate Out Of 10: 7

Link To Buy The Jar: Rich Chocolate Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 5 – Mint Chocolate

So this time I got my friend to try it out with me in the office; and this one I am looking forward to! I love mint, especially when it’s subtle! We decided to do 2 ½ tsp each this time (basically using the packet between us).

5 minutes on… You get a subtle hint of the mint flowing through the air whilst I’m waiting for this to slightly cool down. My friend decided to go straight in and burnt her tongue bless her so she had to wait a little longer.

Now this one isn’t as strong as you think it would be; it’s smooth, it’s subtle, it’s actually very nice! I got more of the coffee flavour come through, but I didn’t find it bitter. If you like the strong hit-you-in-the-face then you might wanna whack some more coffee into that cup because 2 ½ tsp won’t be enough for you here!

 Rate Out Of 10: 8

Link To Buy The Jar: Mint Chocolate Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 6 – Smooth Vanilla

Once again me and my friend decided to try this one together; she is a fan of Vanilla and to be fair, I can be if the Vanilla is the right kind. I can be quite fussy!

We did 2 heaped tsp each in bigger mugs this time (I think we should have put more in, but we ended up running out of the stuff)!

So like the gingerbread, as soon as you rip the seal off (before you get into the packet) you instantly smell the good stuff; it’s not as rich and potent as some Vanilla’s can be. I found it to be lovely!

5 minutes later… This vanilla is good! It makes the coffee subtle and smooth rather than bitter and blah! If you’re after a strong coffee, then add in more granules. I thought this was great for the size mug we had each and the amount we put in.

 Rate Out Of 10: 9

Link To Buy The Jar: Smooth Vanilla Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 7 – Cuban Rum

Not gonna lie here, but I am actually not too keen to try this one. A part of me does as it sounds interesting, but a big part of me doesn’t want to as it doesn’t sound appealing to me.

As soon as I ripped off the seal, I got this really hardcore scent from the packet; it was a bit sweet, a bit in your face, a bit too strong for my liking.

I used 1 ½ heaped tsp in my mug because I thought it would be enough, and I am so glad I didn’t add in any extra!

5 minutes later… I am not liking this. The smell is just not to my taste, and well as soon as I started sipping, I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. There was some sweet, there was something dead strong (and no not on about the coffee here) and then it became all toned down and normal. I have to admit it was a weird cup. I can’t say that this was one that I liked to be honest.

 Rate Out Of 10: 5

Link To Buy The Jar: Cuban Rum Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 8 – Choc Hazelnut

Bring on the chocolateeeeee! I am excited to try this one out as I love hazelnut, especially in coffee! I went to rip off the seal, to then smell this amazing really sweet scent of coffee coming through! I am dying to try this one!

Now being sensible, I don’t want to full overload, so I did 1 ½ heaped tsp in my mug and waited patiently… for 3 minutes this time!

I went in and oh my God! This is proper sweet! You wouldn’t think it being chocolate and hazelnut which can be quite dulled down in coffee, but this is slightly overpowering to begin with and once you swallow, it then tones down and has a lovely aftertaste to it.

I’m glad I didn’t add in any extra coffee as this was just enough to get that sweet hit from it; any more and I don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much.

 Rate Out Of 10: 8

Link To Buy The Jar: Chocolate Hazelnut Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Sample 9 – Maple Walnut

And the finale – maple walnut! I left this one till last as I thought it would be sweet as anything and I was gonna go for it when I needed it the most (on my 7.30am shift pattern!)

I added in 2 tsp of this stuff (maybe I should have added less if this is gonna be really sweet) but we’re gonna roll with it.

As soon as you pop the coffee in the cup, you get a whiff of how sweet this is (that’s the maple attacking your nose) but I couldn’t get the walnut. That might be a hit I will experience later.

After 5 minutes, I went in … and I am amazed. This is not how I expected it to be at all; you get a deep walnutty taste with a small dose of maple afterwards. I thought I went overboard with how much coffee I put in, but this is just the right amount for sure. It’s not too sweet or too bitter, it’s literally just right! I absolutely love it! I have to say this gets full marks!

 Rate Out Of 10: 10

Link To Buy The Jar: Maple Walnut Flavoured Instant Coffee

  Would I Recommend?

Yep I certainly would. If you’re not too sure which one to get, then I would suggest trialling them out with this sample set and you will be able to find the perfect one for you.

Or give it as a gift to someone who loves coffee – you can’t go wrong!

Crumpets & Coffee : The ‘Coffee Samplers’ Collection

Crumpets & Coffee : The Coffee Samplers Collection – Taste Test Before I Begin... Please don't think that I am blogging this as I'm getting paid for it or it was some promo thing...

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

My Diet/Fitness/Nutrition Journey Thus Far

Most of the memories I have of life growing up revolve mostly around food. I remember growing up and all we’d eat was Sonic, Dairy Queen, Whataburger, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, you name it, I ate it. I could still to this day probably tell you my order from each place. I was raised on Hamburger Helper, Ramen noodles, Rice a Roni, canned and boxed everything, candy and soda. 

I remember when I was around maaaaaybe 12-13 and my mom doing a diet that may have been slim quick or something along the lines of you eat chicken and veggies, take these pills and do some sort of workout. I had a really bad sweet tooth (still do) as a kid and I started to gain weight and at 13 I was 165lbs, so my mom included me into her diet routine and I would eat the chicken and veggies, rice cakes, a tbsp of coconut oil and would chew sugar gum and we’d walk between the stop signs on the street we lived on and I’d do her workouts with her. I remember watching my brothers and sisters eating candy while I ate my caramel rice cakes because I was the bigger one of all of them, so for the longest time I was just the fat tomboy of a girl that would stare at herself in the mirror and look at how big my butt was at 13 and hating it and my stomach to stuck out and my fat face. I remember I used to grab my stomach and cry and scream about how much I hated it. If only I were skinny I’d be enough. I would sneak and binge on sweets, it was my comfort, it was there for me and it made me feel better

When I got my period and more of my hormones kicked in I lost a lot of weight. I want to say I got down to 125 when I was around 14-15 and I wouldn’t eat because I was extremely depressed. My sweet tooth was still there, but I wouldn’t eat because I thought eating would make me fat, so I wouldn’t and when I did it was minimal. I ate a lot of 100 calorie snacks, drank juice like V8 because I thought it was healthy, diet coke because it was diet and wouldn’t make me fat. When I was 16 I started working at Target and they have a Pizza Hut Cafe and almost every shift I would go pick up there bread sticks and a diet Pepsi and that would be my lunch (the thought of that now literally makes me cringe). I went to a bible college from 17-almost 18 and ate Ramen noodles and whatever shit food they served while I was there, but I didn’t know any different so I just ate it. I was still pretty skinny because ya know I was 15-17 and you can eat like shit and still be a twig.

When I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house my diet didn’t suuuuper change. I was still living a hardcore Taco Bell and Pizza Hut bread sticks and diet coke life style because I was living on my own, broke as a joke and ate the food I was used to eating, but then I gained probably 30lbs easily within a short amount of time (surprise surprise). I had spent my whole time as a teenager not wanting to be the fat kid and here I was back at 165lbs... wtf. I didn’t really know how to cook, didn’t have money for groceries, refused to apply for food stamps, so I just thought starting to workout would cure all my problems. Well, it didn’t long story short. I mean why didn’t working out and running for an hour THEN going eat Taco Bell work? I was working out, right? HA.

I remember scrolling Pinterest when I discovered it and finding the “Military Diet” and giving that a go. You basically don’t eat anything for 3 days and could apparently lose 10lbs. I wanted to DIE during that diet. I made it the first time around and lost 5lbs, then gave it another go and didn’t make it 2 days and stopped by Taco Bell on my way home from work and binged on that. So my diet search continued... One of my coworkers at the time started using My Fitness Pal to track her calories and she was losing weight like crazy, so I obviously I needed to give it a go and the weight just started falling fall. I went from 165lbs to 125lbs within a matter a months. I didn’t work out, I just ate less than 1,500 calories a day, cold turkey stopped eating candy, drinking soft drinks and unfortunately my Pizza Hut bread sticks. Everything was going GREAT. When I wanted to go down to the next lbs and I was 0.2 from it I would pop a few laxatives the night before and then would weight myself the next morning after shitting my brains out, but I HAD to lose that 0.2lbs.. just had to. I became overly obsessed with counting calories and eating lean cuisines and and 100 calories snacks and drinking Naked juice and weighing myself DAILY and measuring every single little thing I ate and would legit cry if I went over my calories. Funny, not so funny story. One weekend I was headed to my mom’s and had already eaten all of my calories for the day, but was staaaaaaaarving, so I stopped by Jimmy John’s and ate a sandwich that was 800ish calories, which put me 800ish calories over what I was “allowed” to eat, so you bet your ass I drug all of my brother and sisters and mom to a walking trail and walked/ran until I burned off the entire sandwich because I wouldn’t sleep peaceful knowing what I did by eating that sandwich. It was bad, just so bad. I remember the day I hit a breaking point and just wanted some damn chocolate chop cookies, but didn’t have the calories saved for it, but I binged on them anyways and cried in Michael’s arms over what I did and he was telling me it was fiiiiiiine and all the sweet things he could, but it wasn’t to me in that moment, but in that moment I just knew I needed to stop all of this, so I did. I feel like I remember just deleting the app off my phone and being done with it. I was 20 at this point and working a standing job.

Beginning in February of 2014 I started a corporate sitting job, so I didn’t have access to Starbucks or a grocery store on my breaks like I did working at Target, so I had to start bringing my lunches and snacks and to top it all off I was sitting. As you could maybe imagine I started gaining weight from being stagnant and snacking ALL day at my desk (#teamnutrigrain). I put on a good 20lbs within the first couple of months. So I started going for walks on my breaks, eating a lean cuisine a day, eating more fresh fruits and veggies, almonds, and limited my snacking to only in the afternoons and that kind of helped and worked for me for a long time and I stayed at a healthy maybe 140ish lbs and that worked for me because I was still skinny. All about that skinny life because skinny = healthy, right? Well, I thought so. 

I turned 21 and didn’t go crrazzzyy drinking, but I drank moscato and margarita’s often enough and still was all about my Friday candy binge. I was also drinking up to 3 cups of coffee a day at work and just couldn’t figure out why I was sweating and so anxious all the time. I genuinely thought it was from work when in reality I was just pumping myself with coffee after coffee after coffee day in and day out (I’ve learned since my lesson since then). I went through a phase of HIIT workout and running, but that faded really quick, but I really enjoyed hiking when I gave it a go, still do. Along with yoga which I am planning to make a goal of starting a practice in 2018. 

Around the time I turned 22-23 my older sister, Meghann, had a baby and really educated herself around living a more holistic lifestyle and it really intrigued me and around that time I had discovered podcasts and I realized how much processed foods aren’t the best choice and what I could do as an alternative way of going about eating, so I stopped lean cuisine’s (haven’t had one since), milk and yogurt along with limiting candy and processed snacks. I completely cleaned my desk out at work from all the sugar filled granola bars and whatever else I had in there and started to work with that. I shortly thereafter learned about one of the best ways of going about what to eat/not eat is if it didn’t come from the earth and/or has a label on it to think twice before eating it and READ the back of the label if you do. This is still newer-ish to me to do and I’m currently learning about all things nutrition, and how the mind, body and spirit all work together and you can’t have one fully without the other.

 As of now I don’t drink dairy milk, I limit cheese but still love it, I grocery shop once a week and buy as much organic produce as possible, I am still working on the meat switch when it comes to buying organic meat (not quite there yet), I cold turkey stopped eating candy and have found organic, non high fructose corn syrup filled alternatives when I have a sweet tooth, I haven’t been drinking alcohol much the last 2 months or so (don’t have a legit reasoning behind it, just doesn’t sound good), I am really into cooking paleo, vegan, Whole30 friendly foods because it coincides with my eating from the earth method I live by and when I want Whataburger breakfast on a Friday or a taco with a flour tortilla or a real homemade chocolate chip cookie I happily will eat it because I do not believe in living a restricted lifestyle. My entire life leading up to recently whether it was mentally, spiritually or physically has been restricted and I’m not OK with it because it’s limiting and keeps me in a box. I’m a believer in the energy you put into something is negative the outcome will be negative, so if I’m to sit here and say “this is cookie is SO bad for me. OMG. I am going to gain 10lbs.” Well, I’m asking for it to happen, versus eating the cookie cause I want the damn cookie and loving every bit. They doesn’t mean I sit there and eat 12, it just means my mindset around food was so terrible for so long and I know what it did to me mentally that is not worth it for me to be negative about it. I am content and happy with where I am out now, I don’t even care to weigh myself anymore, I don’t body shame myself anymore, I don’t calorie count, I don’t binge, I don’t use food as a reward system, I just educate myself around it, listen to my body and see how it feels and go from there. My anxiety has lessened, I sleep so much better, I feel so peaceful inside and out, and my skin has completely cleared up (I’ll talk about my skincare routine future post).  It’s been a long, ongoing journey, but I am thankful for the million and 2 podcasts I’ve listened to, my sister and everyone else along the way to get me to where I am today and I am excited to continue to learn and grow and now have a place to share all the info I am taking in and it maybe help someone else. :)

- Sarah xo

[biteofnews]

Best Way to Lose Tummy Fat

Stomach fat is a stubborn, unsightly beast. It’s dangerous. Even when you’re a pot belly raises your chances of being hit by a myocardial infarction, stroke or diabetes mellitus.

Snatch a measuring tape and fold it over your body just underneath your belly button. In case the number’s 94cm (37in) or more, it’s time to take action.

While you’ll find lots of hints about the internet to assist you to lose stomach fat, they’re merely that — hints. To make a change, and fast, you need to eat healthily but additionally be in a shortage, in which you consume a higher number of calories than you take in. And the easiest way to do that is to work out.

What causes belly fat?

1. Stress

It’s for ages been believed that stress bodily hormone cortisol is a major contributing factor for females that store fat around their middle. Researchers at Yale University found that women, who underwent significant levels of stress and were otherwise ‘slender,’ were far more prone to have stomach fat.

They were much more in danger of developing diabetes mellitus or heart issues.

‘The very first thing I would look at is discovering what your main stressor is in life and fixing which’ advises Lee. ‘We’re never going to avoid stress completely, so we will need to become good at controlling your stresses it. ’

2. Bad sleep

‘If sleep is an issue then that’s the first thing. It’s about quality more than quantity — you might be getting eight broken hours of sleep or five hours of quality sleep, but the latter is far beneficial for you.

‘Sleep can have an impact on almost everything within the entire body, from the food you crave to your capability to recover from workout routines.

3. Inadequate nutrition

‘In case your sleep’ so great, then next address your nutrition. Are you regularly ingesting foods that place pressure on the body? Particular foods — unhealthy foods and sugar, to name the main offenders — as well as gluten or dairy, can be a strain for the entire body if consumed too frequently.

‘Eventually, if your nutrition is on stage, but you still have belly fat, then you have to take a look at your practice. There’s a real craze for high-intensity workout routines and pushing yourself at the moment, but training is a strain on the human body, and should you’re not giving it the tools to manage stress and recover from it, then it can lead things such as excess stomach fat.

How to Lose Tummy fat

1. Avoid Foods That Cause Belly Fat

Diet to Lose Belly Fat Sugar If you would like to know how to get level stomach, there are many foods you should be avoiding.

The best diet to lose stomach fat involves phasing these foods outside by filling your diet with the healthy ingredients in our “Top Foods That Burn Belly Fat.”

Processed Food, all of the processed food, will only pack on stomach fat and make you unhealthy. Try to remove all of the prepackaged, preservative-filled junk from your diet and replace it with whole foods.

Sugar and Sugar Substitutes – it all, Yep! Attempt to get the sweet fix from nature, and fruit is a fantastic alternative to traditional sugar, that is only going to turn into more fat. Even worse sugar will make you sick and tell your body to keep on fat. Go to all natural whenever possible. Attempt to remove or decrease sugar in your favorite recipes, instead use mixed fruit.

Carbohydrates – Not all them, but try to cut many carbs you eat by half. Refined carbohydrates are the worst culprits: white bread, pasta, and bread. So try swapping for any natural whole grain versions.

Rather than having a sandwich have a half sandwich and salad. Small fluctuations will show massive results!

Fats – I am speaking about the foods that are fried, heavy buttery dishes and cuts of meat like bacon. You do not need me to tell you these are packaging on the stomach fat, do you?! Swap fried out for baked, use olive oil or coconut oil when cooking and select for lean protein which will help you take the excess belly fat!

Alcohol – Empty calories carbohydrates and loads of sugar, oh my! Seeking to get rid of this beer belly?

Then put the beer down a friend. Carbohydrates and all those additional calories aren’t helping your attempts. And if you are a lover of the drink that is mixed, holy molly the calories and sugar in those mixers are severely hindering your weight reduction efforts!

2-Do Exercises That Help You Lose Belly Fat.

Bear in mind that to lose stomach fat, calories need to be burned as well. Try these exercises to lose stomach fat actually to get that weight off fast.

Lose Belly Fat Interval Exercise – Stage exercise is perfect for reducing stomach fat, little explosions of hardcore exercise aids in with reduced intensity exercise will keep your body guessing, increase your heartbeat speed burning more calories, and mainly increase fat-burning! Therefore, how do you exercise interval exercise? It is easy, say you enjoy walking outside in your neighborhood; keep up your regular run for a full minute for every ten minutes of use.

Give it your all and kick ass, then back to walking and so on. You may do that in most exercise if you swim, your game for a full minute every ten minutes of use. In case this remains vague: To the first 9 minutes of exercise as regular, on moment 10 give it 90%-100% and truly buckle down, at that point down to appropriate preparing to the next 9 minutes, and back up for one increasingly minute before chilling off and extending.

Pilates – Pilates is one of the best core exercises accessible to lose stomach fat quickly and my current favorite. It involves small movements all centered on the core power which anyone at any ability and any age could do. If you can afford it try a Pilates reformer class, otherwise a Pilates mat class at the gym or an online video can help you tone up that belly and feel fantastic!

We also adore yoga hooping along with the fantastic Abs of Steel, video and trust me the outfits at the video of 1990 will increase the cardio aspect from laughter alone. There is also a multitude of videos online, find one you enjoy and may stick to it every few days and you will be toning as you shed the unwanted belly fat.

3-Eat foods that burn belly fat

With regards to weight reduction, your diet is much more essential that workout, and also for stomach fat weight reduction, exercise is very important, so that is saying a good deal! We’ll go in the exercise aspect below, but for the time being here are the top stomach fat-burning foods:

Eggs – saturated in lean protein, eggs can keep your cravings in check, so you will eat less and lose belly fat faster. Some research has shown that eating proteins will helps you lose belly fat.

Beans – with regards to eating food to lose stomach fat, beans are nature’s present to humanity.

They’re the ideal equalization of protein and carbs plus they keep you full of hours. Black beans, kidney, lentils, chickpea, and the cannellini are all good options.

Nuts and Seeds – Not just keep you complete, but the healthy protein may also help you shed weight and even increase your metabolism. Almonds, walnuts, macadamia, cashews, pistachios, chia seeds, and berry seeds are good examples.

Leafy Greens – Assist you to feel satisfied longer, increase your metabolic process and turn off your desire receptors. You may eat less and lose excess stomach fat by merely growing your green vegetables. They are low in calories and high in fiber, which makes them the perfect weight reduction food.

Not a lover? Try one of those tasty green smoothies. Examples include bok choy, kale, spinach, romaine lettuce, arugula, chard, and mustard green.

Citrus Fruit – Another major metabolic process booster, so much good for you vitamin c and so easy to work in your diet. Squeeze a lemon, lime, orange, or any three fruits in your water and sip daily. Love an orange instead of your sweet snack, or grapefruit whenever you crave sour candy.

4-Do does not skip meals!

Skipping even one meal can decrease your capability to lose belly fat. I know you think by skipping a meal you’re consuming fewer calories and for that reason, the weight should come out faster, but it’ll make weight reduction that much harder. So stop skipping meals and eat smarter.

5. Consider Your Monthly Cycle.

Also, it plays a part in weight reduction and belly fat! From the chocolate cravings to anxiety and sleep we tend to weigh great pounds more Cut yourself some slack and plan. Permit yourself a couple of squares of dark chocolate every day, hope to think about somewhat more and don’t be disheartened when you venture on the scale, hell, just put that thing without end for seven days!

6-Avoid Anxiety.

When humans get worried, their bodies create a bodily hormone called Cortisol. It is essential for survival as it helps your body to mount a stress response.

It goes for men as well as women, but women have a tendency to hold onto more anxiety, and for that reason, it impacts weight loss more. Stress and lack of sleep go hand at hand, attempt to clean your head following a long day with a hot bath, a fantastic book or attempt a little yoga and meditation.

7-Get More Sleep!

I’ll be the very first to admit. I do not get sufficient sleep each night, being a mother and businesswoman I merely don’t. Occasionally I do not sleep because my head is active, other times it is because I am stressed and it is only my crazy schedule. But sleep is essential to get rid of stomach fat and wellness.

Endeavor to get between 7-9 hours of rest each night, and sure it’s not going always to happen but attempt sweetie. Set a sleep schedule, go to bed in the same time and wake up at the same time, after a while, your body will get it and will take over, you know what I am talking about. Like whenever wake up on a Saturday morning at the same time as your alarm would have gone off at throughout the workweek.

Also read:  Best Nutritious Foods for Healthy Skin

[whipdabdrsr12-blog]

Tongue and Cheek (Spencer Reid)

                                                                        Kennedy's p.o.v.

 This is the beginning.  I thought as I prepared for my first day of work at the b.a.u. I sighed as rubbed my eyes and swiped my alarm clock off.I was excited, to say the least, this had been my dream job since I was a child. But I was also nervous I wanted to make a good impression on my fellow teammates. I rolled out of my cozy bed taking a throw blanket with me.  I trudged into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. My curly brown hair was a mess. my green eyes looked a bit droopy and mouth looked a bit downturned and pouty. I sighed and washed my face bringing some life and energy into myself. I applied mascara highlight and chapstick but other than that I kept my makeup pretty natural. I slipped into the outfit I had set out the day before. A burgundy pencil skirt and flowy white button down. I wasn't usually one for dressing fancily but I wanted to dress up a bit since it was my first day. Make good impressions and all.  I wasn't very hungry so I just decided to get a coffee on my walk there. I lived quite close. I took a deep breath and opened my door to greet the day. This is the beginning. I thought once again.

 I kept my chin high and my shoulders back as I walked into Emily Prentiss's office. Her door was already open But I knocked on the door frame just to make sure it was ok for me to enter. She nodded her head and I assumed that meant I was welcomed in. I walked into her office timidly and smiled at her pushing my wild hair back and out of my face. A nervous habit I had developed quite recently.

"You must be Agent Grace," she said in an authoritative but friendly tone. Her office smelt of sandalwood and I wondered where the strong scent was coming from " That, would be me Mam its a pleasure to meet you." I replied anxiously. "You can put your stuff at the desk next to Reid's. " She said dismissively shuffling papers on her desk. "Alright thank you so much, But I'm not actually sure which one is Reid," I replied. "Oh of course." she said shaking her head a bit "That would be the third desk on the left," she said seemingly distracted. "Alright thank you again," I said trying to be friendly and professional at the same time.

 I walked over to my new desk struggling to hold the evidence box that held the possessions I would set up on my desk. I said the box down and began to lift the contents out. A potted plant, a picture of my best friend, a framed photo my baby sister, and a small collection of books.  Including "Milk and Honey" and "the outsiders" Two of my all time favorite books.

 I waltzed over to the break room to get some more coffee and perhaps meet more members of the team. As I entered the room and walked toward the coffee pot I realized no was in here. I poured some coffee into my to go cup from earlier and added cream and sugar leaning against the counter and taking a breath. This was all so crazy to me. It having been my dream since I was a child and all. I never thought that I would make it this far.

 I walked back out into the bullpen to see a group of people gathered around my new desk talking. "Milk and Honey, She's probably a hardcore feminist." also doesn't have any pictures of herself which lead me to believe she must have had body image issues as a child." Said a tall skinny man with a curly mop of brown hair. "And a photo of another girl who looks about her same age but they share no physical qualities so it's most likely either her girlfriend or her close friend." Said a muscular black man. "She has a book Titled Bipolar and how to deal with it bipolar or she has a close family member or friend who is. " added a blonde girl.

 I cleared my throat. They each turned around abruptly and smiled guiltily at me. "You were right about the hardcore feminist comment and about the body image issues when I was a kid. The girl is, in fact, my best friend and I am, bipolar as is my mother and my baby sister the one in the picture next to the one of my befriend." smiled at their correctness and then went back to looking guilty. They introduced themselves. The muscular one being Agent Derrek Morgan the curly haired brunette being Dr. Spencer Reid and the blondie being JJ or Jennifer Jareau officially. But Spencer and I clicked. It was something about the way he smelled like coffee and sugar and his gentle nervous smile.

"So as you can see this is one grizzly scene." Said technical analyst Garcia in regards to the crime scene.  "Over a dozen dead bodies found all white but different both male and female bodies were found at the scene. so our unsub obviously doesn't have a problem crossing gender barriers. But they were found face down. A sign of remorse. " I said upon flipping through pages with information about the case. "Kennedys right. Beside race were any other similarities found between the victims Garcia?" asked Reid. "actually there were they all seem to be around the same age. 15 to 16 years old to be precise. " Replied the blonde.  "Alright well there have been over a dozen bodies found so everyone pack up and be on the jet in 30," Said agent Prentiss in a commanding tone of voice.

  once I walked onto the jet everyone seemed to have already loaded in. I decided to sit next to Reid. There was just something about him that made me feel compelled to find out more about him. He smiled and pushed his hair back. A habit I noticed we shared. The corners of his mouth quirked up in a little smile as he shifted his messenger bag to make more room for me to sit. I smiled back at him and sat down. He turned his body toward me and said: "Kennedy I need to apologize." He said it timidly like he was nervous for. I wracked my brain for what he could be apologizing for then it clicked he was apologizing for profiling me.

 I laughed a bit. "You're talking about apologizing for profiling me this morning?"  I asked with laughter in my voice. He nodded his head shyly. "I don't care, to be honest, I've done to each of you in depth in my head the second I met each of you. " He smiled gratefully in response and then chuckled quietly. "What do you think of the team?" he asked a million thoughts ran through my head. "are you sure you wanna know," I asked. he nodded. "Alright, we'll start with the one and only Derrek Morgan. He is overly flirtatious and you can tell he goes to the gym his clothes are designer but he doesn't make it obvious which leads me to believe that he is overcompensating because he is insecure in his masculinity. He most likely has daddy issues. But he knows how to flirt in a way that is sweet and there isn't much behind it except for general like for a person which makes me think he has sisters. JJ, hmm pictures of kids and a man around her age she is probably married with children. The kids in the photos share her physical qualities. Emily Prentiss traveled a lot as a kid she is diplomatic and knows how to please people her parents were probably in politics. The one and only supreme genius Dr. Spencer Reid. Your fidgety and have nervous quirks. You are so amazingly smart and there is so much going on in your head and your immense and extensive knowledge made you feel isolated from your peers as a child you were bullied by the kids you attended school with. Your hair is thick and curly chances are you are selfless and warm hearted. You have an uneven hairline so you most likely had a troubling adolescence."  We both waited a few seconds in silence.

  "Your right about, well all of it. " Spencer said seeming a bit taken aback. I grinned at him proud of my correctness.  He smiled back.

 "what did you do before you joined us here at the b.a.u," He asked just trying to make conversation I assume. "I was a homicide detective with the NYPD," I replied "But it's always been my dream to join the b.a.u." he looked deep in thought for a moment.  "Violent crime in New York City has been dropping since the mid-1990s and, as of 2015, is lower than the national average for big cities. In 2014, there were 328 homicides, the lowest number since at least 1963. Crime rates spiked in the 1980s and early 1990s as the crack epidemic hit the city."  I was shocked, to say the least. I knew he had an eidetic memory and a habit of info-dumping but I hadn't yet seen it first hand.

 As soon as we got off the jet we went straight to the hotel. That's where I found out we would all be sharing a hotel room with one other person. I automatically thought of Reid. And as everyone paired off he was the only one left for me. which I was actually pretty happy about. So as we went up to put down our go bags I noticed something alarming. There was only one bed. He seemed to realize this too. His eyes traveled over to me he looked a bit frantic. "oh, uh you can have the bed ill sleep on the floor." he stuttered. I smiled at him. "No its alright you take it I'm a pro at sleeping on the floor just toss me a blanket and ill be alright," I replied defiantly. "Absolutely not I'm sleeping on the floor. I do it all the time when I share hotel rooms with Morgan or JJ. "Your sleeping on the bed and that is that," I said insistently.  

 "Then so are you," He said satisfied then it seemed to register in his head what he had implied. He looked horrified and embarrassed. I smirked at him unfazed and actually even pleased by the prospect. "Sounds like a plan," I replied matter of factly. He looked a bit shocked but seemed satisfied with the conclusion we had come to.

 After a long day with some positive leads, we had developed a profile. A white male of an average build. may come across as socially awkward. in mid to late 30's. Most likely driving a work van something average that isn't extravagant or particularly noticeable.  It wasn't much but it was something.

 By the time we all got back to the hotel I was simply exhausted. Reid and I had been together all day working the case. And we had grown much closer in the short time we had been working together. And the prospect of sleeping in the same bed was becoming less and less awkward and more and more welcoming by the minute. "You can take the first shower if you want," Spencer said politely. I nodded my head. "thanks," I said grabbing a fluffy white towel and heading into the bathroom.  I was pretty big on singing in the shower and I didn't think Spencer would mind so I belted out the lyrics of one of my favorite songs as I showered.

                                           Spencers Pov

 I chuckled quietly as I read "The Catcher in the Rye". I had read it before but it always picked me up so I had brought it with knowing this would be a tough case. But I was having a bit of trouble focusing on reading as Kennedy was belting the lyrics of "Teenage Dirtbag," "At least it's a good song " I said aloud to myself. The shower handle silently creaked and the water faded into a trickle. and a moment later Kennedy emerged shyly. In just a fluffy white towel. My eyes grew wide. She ducked her head and mumbled, "I forgot to grab my pajamas before I got into the shower." I opened my mouth to say something but I just couldn't seem to form any words. She was stunning. Absolutely gorgeously stunning. She shuffled over to her duffel blushing madly. She unzipped it and grabbed what I assumed was her pajamas. And just as shyly she walked back into the bathroom and closed the door.

 When she emerged she was wearing a white marriage equality/ gay pride tank top and drawstring pajama shorts. She had a gorgeous blush set on her freckled cheeks. And her green eyes flitted anywhere but me. I looked at her and she struggled to refrain from making eye contact. I chuckled nervously.

 The rest of the night passed pretty uneventfully. I showered and emerged clothed, unlike Kennedy. And I read for a while as did she. I took note of the title of the book she was reading. "The princess saves herself in this one" Kennedy began to yawn and its contagion began affecting me too. "Are you sleepy yet?" Kennedy asked rubbing her eyes cutely. I nodded "Yeah I'm Pretty tired." I said while tapping my fingers on the back cover of my book. she nodded "Wanna lay down," She asked before yawning again. I shook my head, yes and we walked over to the bed.

 "Do you wanna certain side," I asked trying to be polite. She nodded quite aggressively And crawled over to the left side of the bed. She had a tongue and cheek attitude and I loved it. I grinned at her nervously and settled into the right side facing opposite her direction. She shifted a bit. The pulled the blankets and then rolled over and continued to toss and turn. "Do you want me to sleep on the floor I really don't mind." I finally asked. she shook her head. "Can you hold me." She asked shyly. I was taken aback to say the very least. I nodded and replied "Um yeah sure of corse." and obliged snuggling close to her and wrapping my arm around her stomach. She was so small and her body fit perfectly against mine. I had never slept so soundly in my whole life.

Hey, my name is Kennedy. Yes the OC is named after me. But this is my first multi-chapter fanfiction. And my very first criminal minds fanfiction. So hope you like it. It would never have been as great as it is if not for @reiding-and-writing she has actually been my savior when it came to writing this and just working tumblr in general. She is the best. To whoever is reading this please go follow and show her some love. @reiding-and-writing  

also if you want to know the link to Kennedy's pajama outfit here it is !!.

This

And here is the link to her work outfit

This 

[beginnersrunning-blog]

The Beginning

Today, an unassuming Sunday much like any other, is the day I have selected to start working towards some goals of mine. To ‘get fit’, whatever that means. I have been trying (and failing) to lose weight and get in shape for a few years, with mixed results. I have gone through stages of hardcore dieting and working out, sometimes for months, but I always slip back into a mixture of bad habits and denial. 

Last year, my dreaded HSC, was perhaps my worst yet, where the overwhelming stress, bad diet and lack of exercise saw my weight hit an all time high of 85kgs. The last four months since my HSC has ended have been a bit hit and miss but I have managed to at least lose a few of those HSC kilos. However I’m still atleast a dress size or two bigger than I used to be, which has made shopping and getting dressed in the morning two of my least favourite activites.   

Therefore I’m making this blog to prompt myself to keep to some simple fitness goals each week, to ‘keep me honest’ so to speak. Perhaps other people will find this and use it as motivation for themselves too, or perhaps not. Either way I hope I can make some positive changes in my life that will ultimately make me happier, and above all healthier.

I have stuck to the mantra for years, that it doesn’t matter what your weight is as long as your happy and healthy. But for a few years there have been long periods of time where I haven’t been happy or even very healthy. I know that losing weight won’t really make me happy. However by developing healthy habits such as eating better, drinking lots of water and working out regularly, I hope that I can begin to feel better and healthy. The side effects of feeling happier about what I see when I look in the mirror, is really just a bonus. 

I want to be able to walk up my driveway without losing my breathe, to run a flight of stairs and lift heavy grocery bags with ease. At this stage I’m not happy with the way I look on the outside or my current fitness level, which is pretty abysmal if that wasn’t already obvious.

I aim to workout, starting first with walking and then maybe graduating to running, three days a week - Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Hopefully in the mornings, but most likely in the late afternoons. I also hope to drink atleast two liters of water a day and begin to follow a healthier diet, cutting out as many fats and sugars as I realistically can. 

I know I will struggle, for if it was easy everyone would do it. I will find it hard in the beginning, to break my bad habits and do what I’m supposed to. I will struggle especially with my diet as I am already a very picky eater with little to no impulse control. However I hope this blog will encourage me to stick to it and hopefully become a better me. And if not at least I’ll have something funny to laugh about in a few years, the time I started and promptly deleted a fitness blog

-BeginnersRunning

[mattyslittleworld]

1 up top ahk

Over the last week or two I’ve had to time to reflect of things that have been lingering in a negative way. But since I’ve been running fast, I’ve been pushing it aside and smothering it. I think all of this music I’ve been making, all of these collaborations, photoshoots, video shoots, traveling and just over all activation is me out running and avoiding Bepa passing away. I don’t think my mind could really handle that...ever. Everyone goes through this and everyone is stronger than me. I’m a coward. I walked away from that and never looked back and avoided it entirely. But very recently passing through the kitchen I’ll look at the family pictures instead of subconsciously turning my head. I feel it slowly coming back to me in reality like a dream becoming real. That friendship seems like a dream, like when I think of it and that dude as soon as it seems to become tangible it disappears. I get lost in those moments a few times a day. Something in my mind broke that day but in a beautiful way. I became a man. I’ve dealt with enough loss in my life to think I was good but this was a challenge. This was get up and change your life. Stop sitting around crying about these people who make fun of you, stop running around in this same circle, stop chasing your tail. Man up and do something with your life. But in the most beautiful way that was like believe in yourself. He was one of the only ones who believed in me, so bedside I had to make a promise to myself to do this shit for him. I’ve since met the most beautiful people, met a beautiful girl, and really came a long way just as a human. Me and Belv played an acoustic show in Asbury with some great people then immediately had to go to this club because we had a walk through. It was a college club on a Thursday - line around the block. Kids EVERYWHERE and lights dancing it was just so insane. We got rushed through the back door, through the kitchen and behind the DJ booth and he debuted our new single F Being Friends and it was crazy seeing ny voice go up in a club like that. It’s also so weird being a straight edge hardcore kid in this whole other world. I always thought my musical life would move forward within an underground culture but instead it flourished in a pop normie mainstream world and it’s a culture shock. So the owner of the club was feeding us all drinks, all heavy alcohol except the Red Bull’s she kept handing me. I was wired white girl sugar wasted dancing to gods plan like nobody’s business. Then we shot back to the show we played an hour before and it was all love. The juxtaposition of these two genres being parallel with each other is so funny to me I love it. Belv hit me last minute to be in this documentary about Hip Hop and the growth of it in the area. It’s with the producers of Impractical Jokers, and featured in it is Method Man, Bon Jovi, hella poppin DJs and it was a blessing. It was setup like drink champs we all sat in a circle in the back of a cigar shop. Cameras everywhere and everyone was smoking and it was just open discussion. It was wild. Belv squashed a crazy beef on camera between him and some crip and it made me happy. I don’t think a lot of those kids knew how much about rap I know and been a part of. I think they just think I’m the white kid next to Belv. But I’ve been a part of this culture since I was in middle school from rapping, to making beats on demo versions of Fruity Loops to painting graffiti on 287, freight and clean trains, to being around gang culture because I was always fighting. So when I had a strong opinion I think people were taken back. I think everyone should have a strong opinion about Shit they care about in general. It means you got passion. I felt grateful to be a part of that experience and the other documentary we are in. I didn’t really realize what dark city lights is doing because I’m always onto the next shit but I’m proud and happy it was a POSITIVE mark on this little subculture. This morning I signed some papers for my album. Put the order in for vinyl. And it has a release date. What a trip. Striking deals as an independent artist, with the same companies everybody my age is striking, as a signed artist. I learned from watching the absolute nothing these people are getting. It’s insane. Go against the grain and don’t conform. These people don’t know shit about anything and I swear they walk around like their gods knowing what’s good. I’m literally ready for Christmas. Like let’s fucking get it. Snow Christmas trees lights frank Sinatra fireplaces cute porches. Who’s going to come with me this Christmas and drive around Asbury looking at cute porches? Lmk. I’m rambling now. I’m happy. I’m drinking my pumpkin spice coffee outside typing this on my phone while I listen to music. Waiting for Rob to come by so we can kill off these two videos. After that we got a few more and were Gucci. I can’t wait to finish this song with Chad B, it’s fire. Same with Arsonal. They’re two great artists that I think are gunna be stoked when they hear this shit. I like working with people like this and offering them something they don’t already got and kinda taking a step back and looking at their catalogue and being like okay this is a hole I can fill. But you gotta be super dialed into the game to understand the threshold of what’s even possible within the realm of failure and success and where an idea could fall between those two. I dropped a flier with 4 shows I’m doing in Canada. I had an interesting outcome with that. People were hitting me up like crazy which I loved but it’s wild to think oh shit a lot of these new people are form a foundation that is built off of this new attention from the past year. They haven’t seen that what I do and been doing for 10 years is touring. So to get that reaction as if I’ve never done this was a TRIP and I LOVED it but wild. Tour is what I do and what we do and the end goal. I’ve toured 14/15 countries arguably 16 as an indie artist in 3 different genres from basements to arenas then took a year off to record and now these little dates are to just get back in the saddle. Okay robs here back to work I go. Brb. Okay I’m back. It’s 3:39 am and I’m pounding coffee in unreleased 115 merch editing all these music videos. I killed off 2 tonight. I’m a psycho and need everything to be how I envision it so I have to direct and edit everything myself. It’s such a good feeling having this shit done. I’m now watching the new Mozzy press run for his new album. I love this dude he’s such a poet it’s crazy. Pac of the modern times. I run miles to his music and when my life was down his records really pushed me to better myself. That and wins and losses by meek. So crazy. When your backs up against the wall and it feels like it’s you against the world that’s some good work to push through it. I haven’t been seeing daylight too much or having much human contact these days. I can’t wait to just get back into the world after taking care of all of this. I pray that this shit opens doors and is accepted well, if not I’m proud of it all. The other night I was driving around and ended up in Asbury and I hit the Gallery real quick and there was a sea hear now event and I walked in and Danny and Rachel told me to play a song and threw me a guitar and within minutes I was on stage with Danny and it really dawned on me how beautiful life is. How is that possible? To see music touch people. To be a part of that. To be wanted to sing. To kind hearted actions of these beautiful people is so inspiring and I’m a student to them when it comes to being the best person I can possibly be. Saturday Jesse Malin is playing the fest and I wanna catch his set then shoot up to Rahway and catch Albee Al at his jersey show. I’m stoked and happy. I’m gunna be up all night and day again. Probably going to go for a walk and listen to music. I feel inspired and I feel humbled. Stay inspired stay weird stay young and stay hungry!!!!!!!

[15topwrestlers-blog]

15 Wrestlers Who Are On Top of WWE

Nutrition For Wrestlers

I am no dietitian but a dietitian is not any wrestler, nor would they know the best wrestler's food plan. It goes with out saying that a wrestler's weight loss plan is among the more essential parts in wrestling, considering how many people actually minimize weight throughout our careers.

During the final months of my aggressive profession there are solely a handful of days that I did not write down my weight each morning, what I consumed and the way a lot I worked out. By the end, I was utilizing my earlier days as a mannequin to observe two or three days earlier than a match. Albeit the craziness, the concept labored. Under, I will present you a few sample pages from my wrestler's weight loss program, but it surely's important to remember that everybody's body is different. If for some reason the wrestler's weight-reduction plan that worked for me would not for you, keep experimenting. Remember experimentation is greatest carried out within the low season.

Wrestler's Diet Generalizations

First, in any wrestler's eating regimen the drink of alternative must be water. It's one of the simplest ways to keep you hydrated. Water is just like the gasoline for our automotive, without it, we can not run. On match days we should be going from full to half a tank, not half solution to empty.

Ingesting a sports activities drink when you'll be able to is also necessary on a wrestler's weight-reduction plan. The rule of thumb is simply drink one if you labored out for over an hour. The problem is that sports activities drinks do not go through your system as shortly as water so you need to be careful with them. The only other beverage I drank was green or white tea with no components like sugar or milk. At first I used to be not an enormous fan of tea, nevertheless; gradually over time, I discovered to find it irresistible and I nonetheless drink no less than two cups of the stuff a day. Tea is high in antioxidants, and a natural diuretic which helps fluids cross by your system quicker.

A great guideline to follow is to stay hydrated so long as possible as my cutting weight post pointed out.

I wouldn't begin reducing out water until the day earlier than a weigh-in. In highschool this is very tough since weigh-ins occur nearly each other day. That is why I recommend highschool wrestlers to all the time go one weight class higher than they intend to. If extra wrestlers targeted on wrestling in high school as a substitute of what weight class, and who they must dodge, they would be much better fitted to the game in school. Plus high school students are still rising, and reducing weight impedes that course of. I made the error of sucking out too much weight on my wrestler's weight loss plan in highschool and it ruined my metabolism.

It is best to make your personal food as a lot as possible, to know precisely what you're eating. There aren't many locations where you may get a well-balanced meal, together with the marketed healthy places. Making your individual food is the smartest (and least expensive) technique to dwell when you find yourself on a wrestler's food regimen. In the event you reside on your own and have hassle in the kitchen, purchase a healthy cookbook to help you get started.

Wrestler's Weight-reduction plan Really helpful Foods

Any greens, fruit (it helps hydrate you), yogurt with dwell energetic cultures, egg whites (whole eggs are advantageous every so often), walnuts, almonds, granola, oatmeal, peanut butter and jelly on entire wheat bread, hen (baked or grilled), brown rice (not the Chinese meals kind), quinoa (one other grain), beans (if from a can rinse them off and then re-season), tuna (rinse), shrimp (not fried), and veggie burgers. Those meals mainly constituted my weight loss program through the season excluding the meals out, our group shared after sure matches.

I additionally restricted my sodium intake as much as possible by by no means including salt to anything. Stemming vegetables is one of the best ways to cook them. The principle elements to virtually all my dishes were extra virgin olive oil, onion and garlic.

Avoid all varieties of quick meals when you find yourself on a wrestler's food regimen through the season. "Food plan" stuff, like soda is just not the best option either. It's higher to drink sugar and burn it off then drink diet soda and watch TV. There are in fact, sure meals vices that all of us have. Mine was frozen yogurt, teddy grahams, fruit snacks, baked cheetos and sizzling sauce. Hot sauce was primarily the one added sodium I allowed myself to have. Do not deny your self of your food vices completely, otherwise you will go nuts. In our modern supermarkets there are various options to get your "repair." If it's cookies, you can buy 100 calorie packs of them. If it is chocolate, eat just a few blocks a day. Wrestlers burn so many energy that it isn't the end of the world in the event that they fall off their wrestler's food plan once in a while.

The top 10 feminine wrestlers of today are judged by their athleticism, their "stage" presence and their keen to be taught and progress to what the fans need to see. Wrestlers, properly if that is what you wish to name them, like Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres don't belong on a high 10 listing a wrestlers. They might be considered models, divas, and the top 10 of quick ranking boosts. Your more consistent and dependable followers choose the artwork of the entertainment over the the pillow combat matches, not because they are not all in favour of great thing about the women, however they turn on WWE and TNA for their love of wrestling leisure.

Featured first on the top 10 of feminine wrestlers of now, is WWE Diva Maryse Ouellet.

She came in as a contestant of the Diva Search WWE had to recruit stunning gifted wrestlers. Though the contest has proved to be principally a failure, it did deliver to life a couple wrestlers that took the time and effort to do greater than show their legs. Their participation in practice and training brought them to a high level. In Maryse's case, this opportunity brought her to a really high level. She has rapidly grow to be a fixture on WWE tv and has had the WWE Divas title for fairly some time. Her inexperience does show within the ring and she can be paraded in bikini matches from time to time. Maryse hits number 10 because of her persistence in changing into a respected wrestler for her capacity... and her appears.

Beth Phoenix is an excellent wrestler with great abilities. Unfortunately, the "Glamazon" gimmick that is used has taken away from her capability and has given her much less vital story traces. Beth hits quantity 9 on this record as a result of she does have the flexibility. You may expect her future in wrestling to be long and profitable.

Natalya Neidhart is quantity 8. With the suitable story strains and push from promoters, Natalya could at some point high this list. Her father was Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart and she was educated in the dungeon by the Hart Household. This means she is really powerful! Natalya additionally has a stable which refers to themselves as The Hart Dynasty which consists of Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith. David is the son of Davey Boy Smith, Tyson Kidd is the final particular person to be trained out of the Hart dungeon. Now provided that WWE would let her wrestler extra.

Daffney might be probably the most underrated feminine wrestler on this record. She is available in at number 7 as a result of she is a great wrestler. What separates her from others is her capacity to behave as well. With an performing background, this TNA Knockout and Shimmer lady ought to have plenty of doors open for her. Daffney was as soon as Cruiser weight champion in WCW and nonetheless remains extremely athletic and hardcore.

Melina Perez takes the 6th spot. WWE Diva and very proficient wrestler. It's recognized that she was one of the quickest learners and best technical wrestlers amongst all of the Diva stars. Best Wrestlers WWE The sky is the limit for Melina and her expertise, her future tremendously is dependent upon WWE format and story strains as WWE seems to go for weight and looks over talent at times.

Our fifth ranked female wrestler of right this moment is Angelina Love, also known as Angel Williams. The Canadian magnificence largely identified for her role in TNA because the chief of the "Lovely Individuals" where she has been embarrassing wrestlers since her arrival, even taking the title from Awesome Kong. You possibly can take into account her rank a demotion considering that her matches normally embrace the help of Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky.

Tara, formerly often called Victoria, is ranked quantity 4 because of her shear energy and determination to be the most effective at what she does. She was convinced into wrestling by the former WWE famous person Chyna. Victoria has overwhelmed a few of the finest together with Lita and Velvet Sky. In July 2009 she became the TNA Knockouts champion just after a couple months of her arrival.

Gail Kim has taken feminine wrestling to new heights, which is why she lands at number 3. She is a excessive-flying athlete very like Lita, former WWE, with even a bit of more finesse. Gail has beaten nearly everyone in her path excluding Awesome Kong.

Michelle McCool hits the quantity 2 spot. Like Maryse, she was a contestant on WWE Diva Search. Although this former college trainer has the talents to prove she belongs in wrestling. Wonderful talent and an important persona, Michelle should be a fixture in wrestling for a very very long time.

Our number 1 female wrestler of right now goes to Awesome Kong, also known as Amazing Kong and Kia Stevens. She now wrestles for TNA and has had numerous expertise wrestling in Japan with different super talents there. Awesome Kong is probably the most dominant feminine wrestler of anytime. Every opponent she has confronted has been demolished. Kong has the technical skills, and she or he scares anyone who faces her. To top it off, she is not afraid to climb the highest of the ropes.

Combined Martial Artwork and Final Preventing Championships have exploded in popularity. More and more people are training for MMA and UFC tournaments. Regardless of being "combined" martial arts, there seems to be a dominate skill set inside the cage: wrestling, or ground game.

The interest of the article is to discover three potential reasons for why athletes proficient in the ground game continually excel in MMA contests, and people three are high quality of instruction, expertise developed, and the rules of the competition. These are, what I contemplate, to be the top causes wrestlers proceed to reign supreme in MMA competitors.

First, let's think about the quality of instruction. Many individuals in martial arts have incredible teachers, however one thing to contemplate is the length of time any pupil of the arts has been learning martial arts. With wrestling, it's a sport backed by many colleges, and begins as early as elementary faculty. This means there are kids studying the best way to work on the bottom without having to pay membership dues like they must do at any martial arts studio. This permits a broader base of potential fighters to draw from; not just the mother and father that can afford it.

Further, in contrast to a martial artwork studio that can continue to teach you regardless of skill so long as you pay the dues, wrestling coaches are pushed to provide results; not paychecks. This implies college students should compete for a place on the workforce which places a number of strain on wrestlers to increase their abilities. With out the power, he won't make the crew. If a wrestler stays on the workforce through school, it means he might have as many as seven years of expertise underneath his belt with one other four to 5 years in college to coach, all before getting into an MMA contest. The low value, long term, and competitive nature of instruction goes an extended technique to creating competent fighters who are most comfy on the ground.

Second, let us take a look at the skills wrestlers are taught from day one and the way it improves their fighting means. One of the most necessary fundamentals to any bodily confrontation is positioning. Take into consideration how properly you may defend your self if your opponent is standing behind you. You are not going to do too nicely with that. Wrestlers are drilled on positioning, and figuring out where the most effective place to be a selected transfer. They change into very conscious of how their opponent is maneuvering, and whether he's in good or dangerous place.

As a wrestler, if someone have been trying to set you up for a throw, you'd immediately really feel your opponent's shift in body weight, and you'd know exactly where to position yourself to neutralize his benefit. Wrestlers have an incredible working data of positioning which they can use to their advantage whereas standing, or sprawled on the bottom. This forces anybody else to work a lot tougher than they often need to, and this works in the wrestler's favor by carrying down an opponent's energy reserves.

Whereas preventing a wrestler, you possibly can "fuel out" in a short time for those who're not used to coping with someone who is snug while standing or working the ground sport. As soon as his opponent is tired, the wrestler can capitalize on this by going for the submission, or using some other strategy to end the fight. If he can seal the cope with a punch, he'll punch. No space of the battle is off limits to a wrestler, while many hanging-only fighters are uncomfortable with engaged on the bottom.

Lastly, since we're speaking the MMA arena, we've got to contemplate the nature of the foundations of the sport to totally understand the advantage wrestlers may have. Ultimately these fights are a sport. Violent they may be, however a sport they're still. Deadly strikes and crippling blows are strictly prohibited, which is definitely advisable for any sport the place the athletes anticipate to have a career. Managers wouldn't have anybody to handle if their fighters solely lasted one fight, both. Further, there is a restricted attraction to no-holds-barred combating. This was the issue UFC confronted in its inception. There was too much blood, and the final inhabitants discovered it distasteful. Only a few corporate sponsors have been keen to tie their image to such brutal entertainment.

As soon as certain guidelines had been put in place, there was a lot less blood and fewer genuine accidents. Now that the UFC was much less of a blood sport and more of a full contact contest, its recognition skyrocketed. An unintentional side-impact of those rules was giving an edge to wrestlers. Take into account the number one protective posture in ground combating; the full guard. The defender has his legs around the waist of the aggressor to forestall a full mount. In the ring the place groin assaults are prohibited, this can be a wise plan of action. Exterior the ring, however, even the least educated particular person can see why presenting your attacker with your most susceptible part would be fairly foolish.

[universeinform-blog]

The Definitive Italian Girl Beauty Rules, According to This Street Style Star

New Post has been published on https://universeinform.com/2017/03/20/the-definitive-italian-girl-beauty-rules-according-to-this-street-style-star/

The Definitive Italian Girl Beauty Rules, According to This Street Style Star

Whilst Gilda Ambrosio enters a room—or parades down the trades much to the delight of many a road style photographer—she is without difficulty identified through the sleek of her cascading, jet-black hair. Splendor is something Naples-born Ambrosio, one-half of-of the cult cool-woman label, Atco, cares a lot about. In any case, it’s in her DNA: Regardless of how busy an Italian girl is, she can constantly make sure her lengths are well-groomed and her nails manicured, the 25-yr-antique explains. Selecting up time-examined self-care secrets and techniques from her grandmother, Ambrosio admittedly spends hours at her neighborhood salon, where she gets her hair blow-dried to pin immediately perfection up to 4 instances per week. But, for Ambrosio, less is extra when it comes to make-up, which, she says, Italians approach in a “gentler” manner than Americans. Underneath, Ambrosio breaks down her insider playbook with her It-lady tips, her top Milanese addresses, and the hints to reaching that belladonna glow.

At the Italian Appearance

I grew up in the south of Italy, so I genuinely believe in Mediterranean Beauty—massive lips and dark hair—but I still think a blonde lady is certainly attractive! Italian ladies are always on fleet [with] blow-dried hair and perfect nails. It’s something they don’t procrastinate, even on a hectic day.[We] Italians are not definitely used to a number of the Beauty hacks Individuals have. Lashes and make-up in the standard are manners more gentle.” On Beauty Icons “I grew up with Fellini films, so Anna Magnani, Sophia Loren, and Virna Lisi are my Italian muses! And Monica Bellucci. It’s a cliché, however, she embodies the Italian aesthetic.” On Glowing Skin “I by no means wear makeup, but I continuously placed on all the moisturizing creams I have. L. A. Mer and Carita make my favorites. Also, the Mediterranean diet is something that clearly makes you glow. You could tell with the aid of the way your Skin is tons brighter and clearer.”

Definitive Guide To Building Your Writing Playlist

When you are on my own in your room with a writing project it can be quite difficult to get on with paintings in utter silence. Of path running in a completely busy and loud surroundings is not perfect too. Having a few gentle history song within the heritage can take your thoughts off the silence and focus you back on for your writing. This is why having a writing playlist is so essential. So right here is some advice whilst making your writing playlist?definitive synonym

Tender and calm is constantly first-class

You don’t want something hardcore in your writing playlist otherwise, you may be too distracted through the track and not your paintings. Additionally, there’s nothing worse than having loud crazy music at 9 am in the morning. Ease into the day. Advise acoustic playlists first of all.

You do not need to be placed to sleep either

Having hypnotic track without a get away aside from outside sleep isn’t an awesome manner to inspire yourself. Discover the right balance among electricity and calm consistent melodic tunes with lyrics. This why I might recommendation songs with lyrics that you can sing along to. an excellent sing along can preserve your spirits up. Just remember no longer to sing out to loud and disturb others.

Try going for songs that inspire your creativeness

While you concentrate on tracking, it’s not Just the beat makes the music, however, the phrases and the pics it can paint for your head. Try and Locate songs to add to your playlist that sincerely evokes and motivates your imagination. Apps along with Spotify have fantastic writing playlists constantly being constructed through people around the arena to sample and pay attention to. And it is unfastened!

Don’t be afraid to wander off in a music

Sometimes whilst we’re inside the office we are able to all get a little self-conscious. But, the whole point of history music is to loosen you up and with the intention to neglect approximately your worries. Every so often there’s nothing incorrect with getting lost to your favorite track and forgetting about the stress of the place of work.

American Beauty Semiotic Analysis

American Beauty, through its use of symbols and the, identify of the film itself makes us have a look at the characters and their philosophies (American dream, their standards of fulfillment, Splendor, and many others.) each as they’re and as they may be perceived. No one in the film is actually as they seem. In the long run, the creepiest (Ricky) is the nicest, the hit spouse is a risk ruin, and the yank Splendor is an alternative plan.makeup amazon

The crimson rose petals, which appear numerous times throughout American Beauty are a symbol of romance, sensuality, and energy. But it’s far critical to observe that during most of the film the purple roses are implicitly a phantasm. The crimson roses in the context of an illusion come to face for a sugar coated reality.

Through sugar coating, I simply that which covers up the herbal stimulation (flavor, sight, touch) By using “sweetening” it. In all but one of the scenes, the purple puddles are around Angela masking her naked body in a way which makes whatever lays beneath, that much more attractive, via the usage of sensual reds and the sexiness of mystery. Now not to say severe spectacles which frequently accompany Lester’s dream scenes.

But within the scene wherein Lester, in the end, gets what he has been wishing for Angela has no pink puddles around her. In contrast to her breasts within the first scene which were covered up with vibrant petals, this scene exposes her body for what it is, we love Lester start to experience like Angela won’t were all she turned into cracked as much as be. It is not that Angela is not stunning, it’s miles that Nobody could stay up to the god like expectancies that Lester’s wild fantasies created.

Teas Differ According to Their Processing Methods – How

Tea is one of the favorite drinks for every person, particularly for the ones who’ve busy timetable spherical the clock. It’s miles an amazing and healthful refreshment of all time. ‘Any time is tea time’ – this word is authentic for plenty. This beverage is grown from Camellia sinensis plant.

DISTINGUISHING Between Exclusive BLENDS According to THEIR PROCESSING

Various kinds of teas are generated on the idea in their processing kind. All blends are not processed in an equal manner.audience analysis example

Black Tea

This is the most processed brew among all the different varieties. After plucking the leaves, they may be stored underneath the sun and when they’re slightly wilted, people ruin them to expose their tissues. Then, with fermentation, the leaves steadily change to pink after which, to black. Then after drying, the leaves are packed for marketing.

Whilst speak about black blends, one can’t move without citing Assam brews. Assam tea producers have the remarkable call for inside the market due to the wealthy flavor and revitalizing aroma of Assam black brews.

Oolong Tea

This combination, much like the black blends go through the wilting procedure. The only distinction is that right here, the wilting process is shorter than black range. Also, of this kind, the leaves are without delay fired. The shade of the leaves varies from black to dark green relying at the time of oxidation upon. If the leaves are oxidized for a long time, then they appearance near black blends. This sort of oolong will produce a cup of amber Color liquid having the toasty taste. However, darkish green oolong will provide a drinker light yellow Colour liquor with a touch of sweetness.

inexperienced Tea

This variety is also obtained from the same plant just like the others. After plucking the leaves, they’re pan fried or steamed. inexperienced brews aren’t oxidized and consequently, they have got much less caffeine content material than black blends. Before drying, regularly the leaves are rolled to form Special shapes. After this, the leaves are dried and ultimately packed for advertising. Darjeeling inexperienced tea bulk producers can provide the top exceptional beverage of this type.

White Tea

That is the least method beverage. Leaves are plucked when white hairs and the bud nevertheless continue to be on them. best the bud and pinnacle leaf are plucked and dried below the solar. they’re no longer pan fried or steamed just like the inexperienced blends. A cup of white brew is light yellow in Color and tastes sweet.

Now, each sort of the beverage has its own class of drinkers because desire and taste of every drinker vary substantially.

The author is a creator through profession who takes up Distinctive subjects. He has written many articles on tea, its Different kinds and how to get the first-class cup.

[workreveal-blog]

All About Makeup: Beauty Blogging

New Post has been published on https://workreveal.biz/all-about-makeup-beauty-blogging/

All About Makeup: Beauty Blogging

Cover Lady names Muslim splendour blogger Nura Afia as most modern ambassador

A hijab-carrying splendour blogger has joined the ranks of smoke-supermodels and pa stars as the state-of-the-art individual to be identified as a brand ambassador for canopy Woman cosmetics.

Nura Afia, a practising Muslim, will appear in classified ads and on a billboard in NY Town’s Times Rectangular carrying a hijab even as promoting one in every of the largest cosmetics corporations makeup within the US.

If you admire your beauty and have the confidence then you’re perfect for beauty blogging, just grab your makeup kit and start filming.

Afia is one of the only girls to appear in an advertising and marketing campaign for a chief cosmetics or fashion brand inside the US while sporting a hijab. “I grew makeup being insecure about carrying the veil, and that I never a concept I might see Muslim ladies represented on this sort of huge scale,” Afia told Refinery29.

makeup

But Afia on her personal has improved representation via obtaining more than two hundred,000 subscribers to her YouTube channel, that is full of videos that showcase her make-up makeup strategies the use of drugstore and excessive make-up makeup merchandise.

“I am hoping [this campaign] will display Muslim ladies that brands care about us as consumers and we’re vital, mainly hijabis,” Afia said. “We may be featured on Television, may be featured on billboards in Instances Rectangular, can be represented.”

Her appointment comes as more manufacturers boom range in advertising campaigns – weeks before Afia was announced as a brand ambassador Cover Female employed its first Cover boy, 17-12 months-antique makeup artist James Charles.

The hijab has emerged makeup more seen within the US and Europe inside the beyond two years. Designer Annie Hasibuan held the first runway display wherein every model wore a hijab in September, and in 2015 version Mariah Idrissi wore a veil in a video campaign for H&M.

Afia is a part of a wave of Muslim splendour bloggers who’ve large followings on Instagram and YouTube.

Her video posts mechanically get tens of thousands of views, consisting of a smooth, smoky eye tutorial with more than 320,000 views and a guide to how she gets makeup for date night, which has extra than 300,800 views.

She additionally posts video blogs from vacations and occasions together with her family.

Afia commenced watching YouTube videos while looking to bypass the time while breastfeeding her daughter. She started out making her personal motion pictures due to the fact she became make-use makeup that few of the motion pictures featured girls in hijabs. Afia advised Refinery29 in December 2015: “I desired to show people that I will nonetheless be married and a mum and do regardless of the hell I need – my scarf isn’t going to forestall me.”

Ere’s a real story that you’ll probably relate to. Girl goes to school. Woman’s friends all put on the same extremely mild, silvery red tinted lip balm. Girl attempts it, But finally ends up looking like a further from Sunrise of the Lifeless. (Please word: component-dismembered corpse turned into not the desired quiet result.) Female is now scared of tinted lip balm – forever.

However things have changed, time has exceeded, and like everything else in splendour, tinted lip balms have make-upped their game. We’re speaking excessive-SPF, extreme colour saturation and multi-use balms that have anti-getting older blessings too. And, they aren’t just the usual “herbal” ones we’ve been entreated to make-suppose makeup “fit all”. These are without a doubt lovely, nourishing shades which are an ideal make-up gymnasium, on a lazy weekend or just because the concept of lining your lips and painstakingly applying lipstick is too much of a chore to realise the morning once you’ve mainlined six espresso martinis in a row (authentic tale, good-bye sleep). Enter the reimagined splendour critically – and it has come a long lengthy way for the reason that your faculty days.

The remaining tinted balm edit for darker pores and skin tones Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Plum, £five.Ninety-nine, the burtsbees.Co.united kingdom

This shimmery berry colour is smoke supremely entirely, with the increased intensity of colour than most tinted balms. And, it’s 100% natural too.

Clean Tinted Lip Remedy SPF15 in Sugar Coral, £18

A nice hit of creamy, matte lengthy-lasting peach with an SPF 15? Dreams can come true. This coloration is a favourable opportunity to reds and berry shades. Balance Me Tinted Lip Salve in Ruby Purple, £12, balanceme.Co.uk

Take a sleek Red balm, infuse it with antioxidants and add a smattering if finely milled golden shimmer and what do you have? The correct night-time little preservation lip coloration. Achieved.

Lanolips Lip Ointment With Shade, SPF 15 in Sunshine £eight.16, lanolips.Com

All of the sunglasses of this lanolin-based balm suit darker skins, However like a splendour flirt, Sunshine is an easy way to provide this season’s orange with a try without completely committing.

Maybelline Babylips in Purple Punch, £2.99, Smake-super drug

incredibly cool packaging apart, this mild balm departs a kiss of neon purple for days while hardcore make-makeup is way too much attempt.

Clarins Lip Balm Crayon in gentle Coffee, £18, Boots Twin toned lips ought to be celebrated, and this reddish-brown balm blends make-up on all lip tones.

Clinique Obese Stick Extreme Moisturising Lip shade Balm in Curviest Caramel, £17, Clinique

Looking for a suit-all, dusky pink that fits darker skin tones? It does exist, and here it’s miles.

Hurraw Black Cherry Tinted Lip Balm, £three.Ninety nine

Looking for merely the slightest hint of coloration? This divine-smelling tinted vegan balm is just the price ticket, departing no greater than a hint of colour.

We are in a heat black-walled room in significant London, and the air is thick with fragrance. Agro make makeup of teen women appears from head to head, now not positive who must introduce themselves first. First of all, they’re shy, clutching make-ups of tea and lip gloss, But as time passes they loosen make makeup. The room gets even hotter. This is a studio in YouTube’s places of work, and These are newbie splendour video bloggers: bloggers. They may be here to learn about lighting fixtures, make applying and networking. Then they’ll consume cake.

For YouTube, These little display performers suggest large enterprise, in sunglasses of pastel, lime and bronze. The Google-owned web page maintains to produce makeup younger formidable celebrities – 72 hours of video a minute are make uploaded using documentary-makers, musicians, animators, every with thousands of subscribers to their channels. However, the fastest-growing subsection is the splendour vloggers. Two-Fifths of British women are viewing online beauty tutorials, an enterprise that attracts 700m hits a month.

beauty

Looking their films one after the alternative, you hazard slipping right into a candy kind of trance. They’re All the same However slightly distinct. A young woman talks to you from the edge of her bed, fairy lighting fixtures behind her, a pile of used just out of sight. Piece by piece she will be able to test the brushes, the lip glosses, and part

  Through the piece, she will make you her friend. Within the process, she may emerge as makeup a millionaire.

The most a hit British splendour bloggers are small industries in themselves. They’re Pixiwoo artists Sam and Nic Chapman, who have more than 200m views on YouTube), their protegée Tanya Burr (24 years antique, with nearly 2m YouTube subscribers), and Zoella (Zoe Sugg, 24, with four.3m subscribers).

“while the everyday YouTube age variety is, say, eleven-16, we’ve got a genuinely huge variety of human beings, beginning from sixteen right up to 65,” Pixiwoo’s Nic instructed the Economic Instances. “Ours is a large demographic of folks that need to study. It also enables that our paintings are what YouTube calls evergreen content, which means it doesn’t date.”

A small proportion of bloggers will make a hit careers from it: purchase houses with their profits and convey out their brush ranges. Most people, but, will stay oblivious to the money that streams beyond them without delay to the manufacturers they’re advertising. Off the document, one (anonymous) insider tries make-up it down for me. “brands get interested in bloggers after they get around 20,000 to 30,000 views, But I’m no longer amazed YouTube can’t let you know greater – there’s no real algorithm for achievement.”

blog

And fees appear to differ wildly – a different video or a collaboration can range from £500 to £20,000, with the various deals running thru an employer referred to as Style Haul, a network that monetizes All of the beauty channels. “The brands’ hobby make-upon make up a lot at the tone of the character,” the insider says. “However splendour is a truly appealing industry online, as it’s a purchase that’s smooth to make. A video of a Lady applying eyeliner in her room directly interprets into sales for an emblem like Topshop.”

James Marks, a video entertainment specialist, explains: “All YouTubers have exclusive dreams. And greater are speakme approximately lifestyles off YouTube. They need to obtain different Goals: make a movie, be a Tv presenter, emerge makeup as huge as feasible at the interweb, store the arena.”

At YouTube, DailyMix (the beauty and Style channel that organised these days’ masterclass) brings out a cake the dimensions of a Coffee desk. Bloggers are recommended to switch details. The more connections made, the extra clicks. after they open their telephones, their cameras are set to the selfie. Ava talks to Anchal. Make-under talks to Leena. Bonnie talks to me. She is 15 and considerate approximately her pursuits as a splendour vlogger.

“I want to be famous on YouTube, But I don’t need to lose myself. Do I need to grow as a channel? And as someone.” She smiles a big lipstick, cakey grin. “I like that, as a blogger, you by no means sense by myself.”

[kellendriaaa]

Little Star

Cast : James Buchanan Barnes, Amelia Yona Ivory (OFC), Virginia Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers (mentioned), Tony Stark (mentioned)

Pairings : James x Amelia (OFC; WOC); Pepper x Tony

Summary : Been standing in the corner, studying the lights. The dreaming of escape will keep you up at night but someone had put the flare up, got me in rays. So... I guess I better stay

Words : 4526

Notes : Hello something in my head for a while and needed to be out so that's it. That's a hardcore Coldplay and Marvel fan talking which I am.

Holding herself against the wall while brushing her teeth, she feel another kick of pain. Trying to move past it, Amelia rinse her mouth throwing water on her face trying to wake up correctly, hunger take upon her and she immediately go to the fridge making herself a breakfast, a very full breakfast with eggs and pancakes and chocolate and everything that include sugar. Thankfully, nobody in her family got diabetes, well for as far as she know. After all the cooking, she sit down on the couch watching TV trying her best to not think about anything that concern bad thought.

A knock on the door get her away from the memories, getting up she walk to the door opening it slightly just enough to see the incomer. A red headed woman, beautiful with blue eyes and a kind smile. Her freckles showing behind the light makeup she wears, red lipstick showing how white her teeth was, a pretty knee navy dress with a little black bag. She totally doesn't fit the neighbor.

"Can I help you?" Amelia ask getting the red headed woman out of her own scan.

She nods quietly, her smile not getting away, "Yes. I'm Pepper Potts and I'm here to talk to you."

"Well, I'm sorry Mrs. Potts but I don't know you."

"I know but I really need to talk to you, you probably know about Tony Stark or Steve Rogers?"

She sigh pinching her noses, indeed, she know them and it is already too much, "Unfortunately I do and if you are here from them then I will tell you what I said to them: 'I don't want anything from them' so thank you Mrs. Potts." She finish closing the door only to be stop by the hand of the woman.

"Please, I'm not here from them, Tony don't even know I'm here." She take a deep breath, trying to gather all the courage she had 30 minutes ago. "I'm here from James Barnes."

Frowning, Amelia let her in and close the door behind her. The shock visible on her face rapidly gain Pepper's face. Amelia stop her right away because she do not want to talk about it, not now, not after hearing his name for so long. Pepper wait for her on her feet until Amelia indicate her to sit down on the couch, proposing her tea that she immediately accept with a smile. Sitting difficulty in front of her she look at Pepper. Especially the ring on her finger.

"When are you doing it?" Amelia ask sipping her own chocolate milk.

First, confusion take over Pepper before looking at where the young lady eyes are, "Oooh! The ring? Soon I think, we both don't want to rush."

"Tony Stark I suppose."

"What makes you think that?"

Letting her mind guide her, she smile "You are kind and quiet, totally disciplined and you are what Mr. Stark need, you tranquilize him if people would think that you would have fit Mr. Rogers more it's the opposite actually, if you were not there he probably would have destroyed this earth." She take a pause, waiting for a reaction but only a smirk from the red headed one. "Ok, I did some research but even without that I would have think the same." They both laugh, calming the air but it get tense fast because the subject was about to come.

"How did you met him?"

She smile, what a weird memory but a good one.

It was not the first time she saw him, every morning before crossing the street to the school he was there. Always in black, his long dark hair falling in front of his eyes always buying the same articles, which by the way she didn't know what it was. But, she promised herself she will take a better look the next day. For about a month, she liked to stalk him every morning, how great he treated this old woman or how his hair flipped with the air and him looking like a model right from an L'Oréal ad. So many times, she almost ran into the floor lamp, the same floor lamp but always stopped before hitting it because every time he realized someone was looking at him. She had the most human reflex that every living being would have, she ran.

She always had her morning run because of him.

Running the little school she kept up, she opened the door being greeting by Anghel, the young man she engaged to help her with the establishment. Thanks to him, it didn't fall onto the children and now it was more beautiful than ever. She was a volunteer teacher, helping the little kids and parents in this part of the neighbor. It was a poor neighbor but rich in cultures. And she met Anghel last year, he was struggling in the streets, a little bit snarky to other people he didn't know even when she tried to help him. He didn't wanted any charity, that's how by slowly gaining his trust she proposed him a job in her school where he could do the cleaning, repaired what was damaged and particularly learning.

Amelia has 23 kids at her charges, taking them for free while their parents were killing themselves at the job, most of the times coming late but she didn't care much. More time with theses littles ones, playing with them, laughing and taking care to see at the end all the love they gave to her with gifts and hugs. Knowing their parents put their trusts into her to be their figure of education was another reason she loved her job.

"Bună dimineaţa!" Anghel said in Romanian with a smile.

"Bună dimineața și pentru tine Anghel!" She said back waving him. She had to learn Romanian really fast to talk to those people around her, but she could learn them English while learning Romanian too. "How are you doing this morning?"

"Good actually, Mamă got a promotion, nothing big but enough for her to work less."

"Oh, good! You can spend more time with your mother and less time here now." She said jokingly, dressing the little table.

"No way! I am not going anywhere. What about you? Still got your morning run?"

"Please, don't talk about it! He is getting faster now, I had to run faster too." She laughed bitterly, her legs started to hurt her.

He only laughed at her answer, he didn't saw the mysterious man yet but heard about him so many times, he probably knew more about him than the man himself.

Seeing the kids coming, they opened the door letting them in. After a bunch of hugs and kisses, the day could begin.

When the moon was showing and the last child was gone, it was time for her to close the school. This time she was alone, Anghel went home sooner to spend the day with his mom, first time after the death of his father she couldn't say no. However now, she might regretted it a little bit seeing how dark was the road she needed to take. After taking a deep breath, she started to walk before seeing the one she was stalking his body resting against a tree with his arms crossed with judgment but a little smirk on his face.

But, an arm grabbed by the neck, dragging her in of the building cage still choking her. Trying to get away from him, she kicked him in the chest only to hurt herself. The more time past, less air was going in her body, she debated herself as much a possible no matter what the man with a black mask didn't wanted to let go. She thought about Anghel and the children who needed her, she couldn't let them.

Then, a second after the man was on the ground screaming like a coward, was it the same man who choking her to death one second ago?

Still on the ground holding her neck she turned around and saw the L'Oréal man, to say she was happy was definitely not enough.

"Spying is never a good thing." He said trying to put her up.

"That's how you first met?" Pepper ask now grabbing one of the pancakes who seems delicious.

"Hum hum, he thought I was a spy and even threatened me." She smile at that, "But at the end, we get closer and actually start to 'date'." She say mimicking quotation marks. Pepper frown probably asking herself why the quotation mark. "James never did dating, he was so awkward at everything but still cute so I think it was great. We started to hang out a lot, then kissing a lot then him spending a lot of time in my house, living with me. I didn't knew much of his past life and I definitely didn't wanted to push him, then his nightmare started. I was powerless in front of this, the violence and the memories were too much."

"But you helped him?"

Amelia nod.

Holding his arms on the bed trying to stop from making any movements. His metal arm was slowly reaching her own arm.

"James, baby wake up please." She get on him trying to wake him up. "Barnes! Wake up now!" She said a little louder only for him to wake up brutally. She immediately hugged him.

"Melie?"

She nodded vigorously against his chest, "Yes, I'm here don't worry."

"You… You were… I was about to…" He couldn't finished his sentence.

"It's ok James, look at me little star, focus on me." She said her hands holding his head, his eyes were red and he was about to cry. "Can you wait for me here?" She asked unsure. He, himself, wasn't sure. "Just a minute ok?"

He nodded kissing her slowly and deeply. She went into the bathroom for what seemed like an hour for him when it was only 5 minutes, he saw her hand reaching his one, the metal one.

"C'mon little star, I trust you."

His cold hand grabbed her hot and wet one following her in the bathroom to see the bathtub full of water. She slowly removed his clothes and removed her own to get in the hot water first. He followed her right after, resting on her chest.

His arms around her while her own hand stroked his long dark hair. She started humming one of her favorite song.

"It's a fools gold thunder. It's just warning rain. Don't let the fears just start what if I won't see you again, around here you never want to sleep all night. So start falling in love, start the riot and come on rage with me. We don't need words, we'll be birds. Got to make our own key. Only got this moment, you and me. Guilty of nothing but geography." Humming Birds from Coldplay, song of her dreams, song of freedom and love. Feeling him caressing her legs, she kissed the top of his head. "Away with me, we don't need words. Close your eyes and see, we'll be birds flying free. Holding on in the mystery. Fearless through this you said, we'll go through this together. When you fly won't you take me too? In this world so cruel, I think you're so good."

He smiled against her skin, "This is not the right the end."

"You know the song?" She asked when he got at her height kissing her nose.

"You spend your most of your time singing Coldplay around the house."

It was her time to smile, she let go of his hair kissing him slowly going to his neck leaving a beautiful hickey. She always tried to leave hickey on his body but failed every time, now her teeth were out showing how proud she was.

"I did it! Wow this one better not disappeared or I will lose my control."

He laughed slyly, "I love you angel, you know that?"

"Show me little star, show that you're mine as much as I'm yours."

Pepper never knew pancakes could be that good with a story. She was full but wanted more.

"So you know about his past?"

"Yes, indeed. I know about the winter soldier, I know about… Bucky but I never called him like that. He was my little star."

"Why little star?"

"Because of the star on his arm. He hated this arm but I wanted him to accept it, it was a part of him and I love every part of him."

She can see the love in her eyes, it never go away and probably never will, "How was he adapting with the technology?"

She laugh at the thought.

She was washing the dishes, humming 'Everglow' slowly when a loud crash ringed through her ears almost letting the plate fall on the ground. She catch it just in time then turned around to see what her amazing other half did. She prayed hard, very hard hoping it was not another computer broken.

Reaching their room, she saw her beautiful lover looking back at her shameful.

She knew.

"Angel…"

"Did you break another laptop trying to close it very delicately? The fifth one" She asked pinching her nose, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Bouncing from one leg to another, eyes looking at the ground he said, "Actually the sixth but it was even more delicately but then the laptop close itself too fast."

"Baby… what am I going to do with you huh?"

Sadness showed in his eyes, "Keeping me?" He asked slowly.

She held him in her arms, she was shorter than him just reaching his shoulder. Her lips rested on the scars of his metal arms kissing them slowly.

"Forever, never doubt it little star."

"He broke 3 phones because Siri talked to him." She hears Pepper laugh, "He was afraid that one day I will go away, know the real him and run. I never did and I never will. I adore him as much as he did even when he was possessive and jealous."

"Jealous? Of who? Anghel?"

"Totally, he started to work with me at the school, teaching the young people to defend themselves in front of aggressor. After my aggression, which by the way never happened again, I wanted him to learn to the little girls and boys to be stronger and I know one he could do it."

"No."

One hour, it has been one hour since she tried her best to convince him to work with her. If she didn't get what she wanted, feeling and seduction will come.

"Baby, listen to me…"

"No."

"But why? I need your help, the kids need y-"

"NO!"

This time he shouted punching the wall with his metal arm making her jump in fear. He immediately felt guilty, so he went close to her reaching her carefully with the human arm. His heart broke when she pushed it away but took the metal one just to put it against her cheek closing her eyes at the feeling.

"Angel I said no, I don't always do that because I love you so much with all my heart and because I love you this much I will not be able to see your face like that again. Scared of me, neither the children."

Her mouth still closed.

"What will happen if I couldn't control it? If I hurt-"

"No."

"What?"

"I am the one saying no now, you are not bad baby. Someone bad wouldn't be afraid of my judgment, he wouldn't kissed me like you did last night, he wouldn't held like you did, he wouldn't have make love to me like you do every time." Guiding his metal arm to her hips with that he could hold her closer, "You have the kindest heart I've ever seen, helping me every day in my life, making me happier and cooking the best meals actually even if most of the time they burned." He laughed slyly posing his chin on her head holding her completely while she was trying to memorize every scars around his metal arm. "Never ever you hurt me, neither you'll do with the children. Do you trust me?"

He nodded stroking her hair gently, "But I don't trust myself."

"That is where you are wrong, you are mine and I am yours right?" He nodded again not sure about where she was going when he felt her smile against his chest. "So when you trust me then you trust yourself, we are one baby. It's not a 'you' but a 'we' get it?"

"Not totally but kind of."

Getting away from the hug looking at him, "Well it's enough for me to say that tomorrow you have work."

"He teach them?"

"Exactly, he wasn't harsh or brutal, he has never been like that. The kids love him and like to have him at the school… they still ask for him from time to time especially when the 'he is on a private mission' excuse don't work anymore."

A silent takes place between the two women to be break by the vibration of the redheaded phone. But no answer from her.

"You should answer you know, whoever who is calling you non-stop will call the CIA to find you."

She sighs, "We kind of argued and like I told you, he don't know I'm here and I don't want him to know. Nobody should come and disturb you like I did."

Smiling kindly she says, "you didn't disturb me and the only reason why is because you didn't come to soothe your mistakes."

How could someone not fall for her? Pepper asks herself, there was no harm coming from her. Not even a single vice. The way she look at the world is so kind and hopeful that's probably why Bucky wasn't able to let go no matter what. That thought pop in her head.

"Did he ran away?" Pepper asks regretting it once the smile on her face fade away.

She nods putting a lock of that rebel curly hair behind her ear, "that's how I found about his hideout, that place he was sleeping in before we got together."

Their date night was calm and amazing. No panic attack, more trust, he never let go of her hands the whole time, even when she was throwing up because of the big roller coaster in the town fair. It was way too tempting and she liked the adrenaline going in her blood but now, the whole adrenaline thing was too much and the ice cream with the hot dog were going out of her mouth violently. Disgusting and exhausting but his hand was clutched in hers, squeezing it from time to time to help her. After that she looked like a mess, her mascara make her look like a panda, she was tired and weak after washing her mouth. The smile on his face never let her down, always present accompanied with a kiss everywhere on her face or her head. Even with that, she felt stupid.

"I ruined everything…"

Shaking his head in disbelief, he searched for a bench to sit on, he then took her both hands in his kissing them softly. She rolled her eyes with amusement with a little smile on her face, he could be so simpleton sometimes. He loved those little attentions, those little kisses everywhere on her body, he loved giving it as much as he could receive. He knew her little caress will satisfy him.

"I ruined so many…" He was looking the right word.

"Date?"

"No… Rendezvous!" He laughed with her at his own silliness, "I like this one better, just to say that I ruined so many of our time together with my past, you throwing up that vanilla ice cream wasn't that bad."

"Oh please don't remind me, I can feel the taste again." She said knocking her head against his chest, her face scrunching in disgust. He put his hand on her back, she started to shiver in the cold of the night.

"We should head back home, you will not survive not even with my jacket on."

She wanted to argue, first because of her big ego and the fact that she totally could hold the cold with ease and second because it was still so early to leave a fair but when the word 'home' ringed in her ears she couldn't stop smiling. The very first time he called her apartment 'home' like their home. Together. The biggest progress was to make him feel accepted, like he belonged here and this the case. She jumped in his arms nodding erratically. At the end she ended up on his back until they make it home, singing Coldplay song and from time to time he was trying to make her fell.

Once in the apartment, he put her on the ground carefully, "you know you were not supposed to make an entrance like that, you're supposed to hold me in the bridal style." She said jokingly putting his jacket on the couch and removing her shoes when he suddenly put her in his strong arms in that famous bridal style. "I was joking Barnes!"

"No, no, no you wanted it you'll have it."

He started humming the wedding song and get in the apartment in a theatrical way with her laughing loudly, he slowly put her on the big table kissing her forehead.

"Now that we did the bridal entrance can we get to the honeymoon phase?" He asked tickling her neck. She nodded kissing him, for a moment he seemed distant comparing to how the rest of the night ended. But the happiness took over her, she let that go holding onto him.

Waking up from the cold on her, she searched for James next to her but nothing, she got up so fast her mind spin. The time to realize her butt was out, the front door close itself. Did he just… ran away? If it was their first time she would have been worried, but knowing what actually could have been make him run away make her more worried. Throwing away the rest of the covers off her, she put the first thing she found, a dress with some shoes, to run after him but damn, he was faster. It was freaking cold outside, dark and she probably will catch the biggest cold she ever had however comparing to what her lover was going through, it was nothing.

When she loosed her trace, she tried to remember if she has been there. It was close to the market she used to stalk him, there was many building but only one has window with newspapers on it. Following her instinct, she got inside it literally climbing the stairs two by two, it seemed like there was no end to the stairs and he was apparently at the last stage, the highest one. Amazing.

"You better be in there Barnes." She whispered to herself catching her breath between two heartbeats.

When she finally got in front the door, it was half open so that means he just got in there. She wasn't that slow. Hearing some hits on the wall and murmuring, she slowly pushed the door open only to find him knees on the floor hurting his metal arm against the wall in the sort of living room/bedroom. She was afraid to scare him away, that following him was maybe too much. It feels like she entered his personal space, somewhere nobody not even his mind was allowed but the little cry that escape his mouth hurt her so hard, she wasn't able to concentrate.

"James?" She said so quietly, she wasn't sure he heard but from how he turned around with wide eyes, he definitely ear it. No answer from him, just his big blue eyes full of tears looking at her, her heartbeat was ringing in her ears so she kneeled in front of him carefully to not scare him. "Can I?" She asked guiding her hand next to his one, nothing but silence came to her but she did it anyway, the human hand was hurt, bleeding probably broken. Blood was flowing from where his metal arm started. The view was tearing her apart, she silently hold him in her arms just to be hold back, letting his tears fell slowly on her neck.

"I just want to be human."

"I end up taking care of his injuries while he told me everything I know now."

"Did he used to do that often? Hurting himself?"

She nods slowly sadness taking place on her face. How many nights did she had to locked the front door for him to not escape, how time did she spend healing his wounds and how many days she woke up to him taking his distances. So many she lost the tracks on them, but she never gave up, never give up and never will. Another kick of pain make her hold her cup tighter.

"Are you ok? Maybe we should go to-" Pepper start to panic searching for her phone.

"No! Don't need to panic it's normal." Amelia reassure her smiling difficultly, "Everything is fine." Pepper nods, "Why did he told you? For you to come for me."

"He tried to reach me, at the time I wasn't with Tony anymore. Only working nonstop and sometimes checking secretly his team to see how everything was going then I got this phone call from Wakanda you know?"

"Yes, Mr. Rogers told me it was where he was… sleeping."

"Indeed, just before he called me, I got a text from Steve which totally surprise me saying Bu- James needed my help but he didn't knew why. James was asking for me to come and give you this." Searching in her bag to put it in Amelia's hands.

James B Barnes

32557038 T42 A

His so memorably dog's tags with something new on it, just under his army identity.

Amelia Y Ivory

After the departure of Pepper, her tears start to fall down betraying the emotion she is trying so hard to keep inside her. The pain traversing her is unbearable for her, her heart aching she only can think about his face smiling to her with these oh so sweet blue eyes tearing her apart.

"Where are you Barnes? If you are late again I will kick that thing out of the house."

He laughed shaking his head through the phone, "The thing is a flower, and I'm close to the market, I'll be there soon like always."

"I have a surprise for you."

"Really? What is it?"

"Come and find it." She said caressing her little belly, "You'll love it."

"Not as much as I love you."

"Cheesy boy, but I love you too."

The last thing she remember of him is a conversation on the phone to see his hideout completely devastate.

The last memory of him was the little girl growing inside of her, soon to see the stars on her own.