#In fact I have! And I'm not afraid to do it again

[meebles]

Several Sentence Sunday

I was tagged by @biscuityskies over a month ago, and I'm excited that I now have something to share! Thank you for the tag! This is another WIP for a @codywanfirstkissbingo fill, in which Cody and Obi-Wan end up forming their own little two-person bookclub to read a cheesy romance together :) here's the start of the lead-up to that:

“Those are my datapads.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t bother looking up from the requisition form he’s currently checking over. “Correct,” he says, waving a hand absently to shut his office door, having previously opened it to let his commander inside.

He can feel the irritation wafting off of Cody— purposefully, since Obi-Wan knows for a fact that Cody’s shielding is durasteel-clad should he wish it so— and bites back a smile. He signs the pad with a quick flourish of his finger, and sets it aside before looking up. When he does, he sees Cody reaching for the remaining stack of pads, which Obi-Wan quickly pulls through the air and into his own hands before Cody can grab them.

Cody huffs, but Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the barely-there twitch of his lips. “I don’t need you to do my datawork for me. Sir.”

“I know you don’t need me to, but I wanted to,” Obi-Wan shrugs. “I finished my own for the night, so I figured I might as well. I wanted you to have enough time for Waxer’s book club.”

Cody raises a brow at him. “I hadn’t realized you’d heard about that.”

Internally, Obi-Wan winces, afraid he’s overstepped. “They were talking about it in the mess. I know you like reading, and I know the two of you are close, so I just assumed. I apologize, if I— ”

“No, I— I do appreciate it, General, thank you. But I’m not going.”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan says, frowning. “Not interested in what they’re reading?”

Cody shakes his head, pulling over a chair and setting himself down. “No, it’s not that. I am actually interested in the book they chose, but it’s… ” Cody purses his lips, averting his gaze and staring into the middle distance behind Obi-Wan. “Everyone else who attends is of similar rank. My vode need some time away from the chain of authority, especially their commander. I don’t want to intrude.”

“Cody, I’m sure they would— ”

“I know they would let me join, if I asked. But I also know that bookclub is about 30% actually discussing the book, 70% drinking the starshine we don’t know about while shooting the shit.” Cody meets his eyes, shrugging. “It’s no big deal, really. We still spar and have our holo nights whenever the opportunity arises, but I want to let them have this.”

“Ah,” Obi-Wan nods. “That’s very considerate of you, Cody. However, I’m still sorry that the nature of the situation prevents you from joining them, especially if it’s something you wanted to read.”

Cody shrugs again. “If I want to, I can just read it on my own. Unlike my datawork, however, which I cannot complete unless you actually give it back to— ”

He cuts himself off with a snort, shaking his head as he watches the stack rise towards the ceiling of the room, just out of reach. Obi-Wan grins, ridiculously pleased as always when he can pull a laugh out of the other man.

I'll tag @countryboyskywalker @petrifiedforests @anxiousotters @bluemaskedkarma @loverboy-havocboy @goddammitjim and anyone else who wants to play!

[nalyra-dreaming]

What do you think about the choice to change the circumstances around Claudia's turning from the book? Lestat doing it almost just to see what would happen/baby trapping Louis vs Lestat doing it because Louis, out of his mind from grief, begged him to.

Hmm.

Difficult :) I have to expand a bit here, to explain my thoughts:

The show... made some very welcome choices, they made Louis "more", they made it all "more" in a way, they updated the story, and I'm glad they did.

But by doing that they created, let's call it repercussions.

Because... every little change has ripple effects on arcs, and there are arcs in the books. Arcs that span all thirteen books of the VC.

The Lestat in the book is very young still. Only like 10 years a vampire. 30 years in mortal age. He has had a shit life, has been raped into darkness, impossible choices laid at his feet (letting his mother die and his lover behind, both of which he could not), got beef (to put it mildly) with Armand almost immediately because he unknowingly broke the rules that Armand lived by, and then traveled the world, increasingly disillusioned, until Marius found him. And sent him to live out a human life after the little fiasco with Akasha, because Lestat was so young still.

A lot of the events unfolding hinges on the fact that Lestat is still very young. And almost naïve. Rash. Very impulsive. He wants to see what happens. He is hungry for the world (again). And he is very close in powers to Louis.

He falls head over heels in love with Louis, fatally, and wants to keep that love, because of all the shit that already has happened, in such a short amount of time.

The Lestat in the show is not that.

He is ~130 years old when he encounters Louis. A lot more jaded, a lot more... angry. A lot more powerful, too. We know he returned to Paris, and I think the show has already given us the hints as to the "why" with the dates on Nicolas' tomb as well as the Talamasca files.

We know he encountered Akasha (and therefore Enkil and Marius) as well. We know Marius still slapped him with a gag order. Likely also threatened him, like in the book. But we don't know why Marius had sent this older Lestat away (or why Lestat may have left, which is also a possibility, given the backstory Armand told). The Lestat who had not only been turned at a later point in life, but also had likely encountered Marius and Those Who Must Be Kept at a point where he had already lived "a mortal life".

This Lestat knows a thing or two about covens, and the passage of time, better than the book Lestat does. He addresses the loneliness in the opera, with Louis, they address it at the trial. He knows that loneliness. This Lestat has had, by returning to Paris, to deal with Armand, repeatedly. He and Armand have not found a way to consume their relationship, for reasons that will likely stay the same as in the book but which weigh much more heavily, imho, if broken up again and again, over the decades (by Lestat returning). Something likely also happened to make the theater relocate.

This Lestat likely knows the rules a lot better. Knows what Armand can do, and does, too.

This Lestat knows that there's only a few dozen of them out there and what that means for them in terms of loneliness and pain much better, too.

This Lestat knows what it means for Claudia if he turns her this young. Maybe he's seen it. Maybe not. But he has experience. A LOT more experience living this existence.

There were hints that he understands, very well, like the not-translated rant at the chess game. Like the resistance to Claudia being turned, even in Louis' first version. Like the opera. A lot of discussions and comments to Louis.

And there were hints that there were things that made him afraid. And that he really, really did not want them to go to Paris.

Which must have had reasons, obviously.

There were hints already in the show and interviews, that Armand might have more to do with Nicolas' death than... even in the book (where he starves him, drives him even more mad, and chops of Nicolas' hands!!).

This Lestat must have known about Armand's reasoning there, the reasoning we hear some of as well when Armand is threatening to burn Louis in the tunnels in s2. Because he must have heard them, or heard of them, after Nicolas.

All this combined....

All this combined made it quite logical for me that this Lestat... would not have the drive to "see what happens". He has likely seen what happens. Maybe not first hand, but he has seen enough.

He also knows the rules others live by, and knows what would happen if she would encounter certain other vampires.

This Lestat could only be forced emotionally, despite his better judgement - because he already had that better judgment.

This is the "Lestat side of things". :)

The "Louis side of things" has similar changes to consider which carry repercussions.

This Louis is a bit older, too. He is also harder, or can be harder, has a "business persona" that he carries like a shield.

He is under constant pressure, a lot more and way more stifling pressure than his book counterpart. This Louis wears a lot of hats (as Jacob put it), never really fitting in anywhere.

And Lestat, obviously aided by the mind gift :)) - sees him.

Challenges him on that.

For Louis this being seen must have felt cataclysmic. And it was, it came with life-changing events, of course, but the decision to accept those events was born from this being seen, this awareness of the entirety of his being, the good, the bad, the ugly.

It came with the promise to free Louis from the shackles of the world around him.

And of course that promise... had to fail.

And it made Louis suffer.

Of course.

The disappointment stemming from that simple fact, the disillusionment of that promised freedom being an illusion ... must have been like poison, on every breath.

I would like to point out that it was not a deliberately "fake promise", imho. The Dark Gift did free Gabrielle, she quite literally threw off the shackles of society, I bet we'll see that in s3. But it could not do the same for Louis, and it must have hurt them both.

That breaking, broken promise then tainted everything, whether they wanted it to, or not.

Louis' moral arguments re killing were never that in the book, and I don't think they're here as well. Louis' efforts to control his eating are means to regain control over a life that has spiraled out of control, because he cannot return.

When the Storyville arc unfolds, Louis is watching the repercussions of his actions. He has been rash, he has been arrogant, and he has reveled in it, for a moment. And now others suffer for it.

Letting himself go in the "vampiric way" has resulted in a lot of suffering.

That is the lesson that sticks.

His mother sees the devil, he has frightened his sister and her children. Deep down Louis knows that there is no way back, that he is other. Deep down he knows he will only find happiness with his own kind.

And he rejects that notion, of course, because the promise has broken.

He leaves Lestat, because ultimately Lestat is the reason he killed the Alderman. Because Louis cannot help but reject the vampiric aspects of himself at that point.

But Louis loves Lestat.

And he knows it, too.

And so he is stuck in that catch-22, in that predicament, needing to find a way out, aware there is none, unable to truly leave, and wanting to return.

And Claudia... Claudia is the answer.

Claudia is the band aid for the rift. Claudia is the reason to return. Claudia sees him as an angel. Claudia is the bargaining chip.

It's never about her. Unfortunately.

Claudia, the daughter of a family he cannot have (had) otherwise.

Because Louis knows, that even in a mortal life, he would not have had children, in all likelihood.

Because Louis is gay. Oh, he has of course the possibility, if he bends himself into shape. But when we meet him it is clear he only keeps the facade. By entering a relationship with Lestat, no matter the vampiric aspect, he dismissed that possibility, too.

And that, too, gnaws at him.

Louis, in the show, has to ask Lestat to turn her, because Lestat knows better.

And Louis needs to ask, because it is the only way he can consolidate all the warring pieces within himself, his self, his world, his state of being, his morals, his hopes - for a while at least.

[otomiyaa]

Day 8: Memories

Kavetham | 12 days of tickles🎄

Word Count: 1K

Good thing they were at home. Good thing they were alone. Yes, all good. But also… what the hell!!!!! 

“Alhaitham. You have to drink this.” 

It was pretty hard to force him to drink water. Alhaitham sat in a funny position at the dinner table. He had already burped and hiccupped in the most uncharacteristic ways possible, and now Kaveh was afraid that if he didn’t get him to sober up soon, he was going to barf all over the table and floor and he really did not feel like cleaning that up.

“At least let me drag you to bed then,” Kaveh said, but Alhaitham was glued to his seat, his body heavy as he refused to get up.

Facts were facts. Alhaitham was drunk. It wasn't a common thing, nor was it a first time experience. But still, it definitely would fit in the ultra rare category, and Kaveh was too busy worrying to feel honored.

If only Aether had warned them properly about the special liquor he brought from Fontaine. It had a light taste but a strong effect.

Kaveh's glass was still pretty full, but Alhaitham had already emptied his own as if it were water, leaving Kaveh with the messy results. If Kaveh had been faster, this would've been very different. Then they would've been drunk together. Maybe that would be better. More fun.

Instead he now felt responsible for keeping the situation under control. "Come. To bed we go," Kaveh finally said when he failed again to let him drink some water.

Alhaitham swayed a little as he was helped on his feet. So heavy. Kaveh tried to support his heavy body while he guided him to bed. If he was in bed, it would no longer be his problem. But it was never going to be that easy.

"Bed...." Alhaitham howled. That did get a snort-laugh out of Kaveh, but he was soon back in stress-mode when Alhaitham tripped and dragged Kaveh to the floor in a gracious fall.

"Alhaitham, geez!" Kaveh whined, ending up on the floor with... He blushed. Alhaitham pinning him down.

With a funny hazy look in his eyes, Alhaitham towered over him, and Kaveh's concern that his lover was going to throw up all over his face was quickly forgotten when Alhaitham said the most unexpected thing.

"........Remember when I first tickled you...?"

Kaveh frowned. "What?"

Alhaitham wiggled his fingers above him, confirming Kaveh did in fact hear correctly.

"N-no. I don't. Get up, Alhaitham. You need to go to bed. You're drunk," Kaveh reminded him, but Alhaitham didn't budge. Then without warning he started to tickle Kaveh's sides.

"......Went like this?" he muttered dreamily.

Kaveh yelped and tried to catch Alhaitham's hands, but damn he was fast!

"N-nohoho I doubt ihiihit! Get ohohoff mehehe!" He had thought the situation couldn't get any crazier, but it did. Drunk Alhaitham was pinning him down and tickling him, on the floor. And Kaveh, despite being the sober one, couldn't do a thing about it except laugh like an idiot.

Still attacking him with merciless tickles, Alhaitham leaned in and kissed Kaveh's neck.

"I tickled you.... here...." Alhaitham murmured in his ear while his fingers pressed into some of Kaveh's worst spots.

What was he getting all randomly nostalgic for! Kaveh did not remember Alhaitham tickling him the first time, definitely not like this, and he doubted these memories Alhaitham was recollecting were any real.

"You're beheheing rihidiculous! Stohohop!"

"You were so... ticklish here..." Alhaitham's fingers managed to sneak under Kaveh's shirt and grazed against the bare skin of his tummy.

"Dohohon't!" Kaveh cackled. He bucked wildly and tried to get his drunk boyfriend to stop tickling him, but Alhaitham was too busy bringing up memories and tickling him silly, and Kaveh was too ticklish to be able to handle it in any dignified way.

"Ahahalhaitham! I'm wahaharning you!"

Sober Alhaitham tickled him plenty and would rarely grant him mercy if he begged like this, so of course drunk Alhaitham cared even less.

"You said.... it tickled...." he spoke in a funny voice while continuing the merciless attack.

"Ohohobviously I would! Stohohop!" Kaveh curled up and tried to kick and swat at Alhaitham's grabby hands, but despite being drunk, he was as strong and persistent as ever.

"I wanted to tickle you.... forever...." Alhaitham's breath felt hot on Kaveh's ear as he continued to mumble these words, alternated with ticklish kisses and nibbles.

"These cahahan't be real mehemories! Stop thihis!" Kaveh cried. He arched his back when Alhaitham's wiggling fingers reached his underarms, and he shrieked uncharmingly.

"NOT THEHERE!" he warned. Alhaitham was going to pay for this, and the Traveler too!

It tickled so bad Kaveh thought he would pass out. But in the end one of them did pass out and it wasn't him.

"....A-Ahal-Alhaitham?" he asked breathlessly when suddenly the weight on top of him got even heavier. The tickling stopped too, giving him a moment to catch his breath.

It was obvious that Alhaitham had passed out on top of him, and with some difficulty, Kaveh managed to push him off.

"You - are - unbelievable," he sighed. For a moment he tried to lift him off the floor, but Alhaitham made it so difficult that he ended up moving some blankets and pillows to him instead.

"Sleep here then," Kaveh said with a blush. He hesitated for a moment, then he positioned himself right next to him.

"........Remember...."

Kaveh's eyes went wide open when he heard Alhaitham's sudden drunk sleep-talk. He quickly covered himself up.

"No, I don't remember. Don't you dare bring up tickling agai-NOHO Alhaitham I sahaid nohoho!"

Whatever the alcohol had done to Alhaitham's head was a mystery, but it sure rattled with his memories and turned him into the worst tickle monster ever. It was Kaveh's very own fault to choose to sleep with the tickle monster.

"Let go ohohoff meeee!" he howled, but it was definitely going to be a long night!

[rikeijo]

Again I agree with everything that you've said, and maybe some people who read this think 'why make so much drama out of it'?, but from what I've experienced/read, a lot of people feel like they don't have their own place in this fandom, or would like to engage more, but they don't feel like it anymore, because of these type of posts like 'other people project & have invalid hcs, I analyze canon using my superior intellect and queer experience', and yeah, it's even worse if accusations of bigotry start to come up. Imo, it's just toxic behavior... So, I believe you that there were people, who wanted to add something to a discussion, but were afraid to do so. Not surprised at all, because I'm also quite afraid to comment on other people post adding my own thoughts now, because if you do, you can get 'un-friendly reminders' to stfu. And that's how the fandom continues to die...

The language discussion - I also happened to see the post, yes, and had the same thought - if you have the courage the write a post explaining things to other people, suggesting that you're an expert in the topic through your attitude (and you know better than the creators, who are wrong - a funny approach if sb cares so much about canon), then if somebody called you out for basically spreading misinfo, maybe you should also find the courage to admit that you were wrong. It's absolutely okay to make mistakes sometimes and be wrong about something, often it's just another opportunity to learn.

With names it's very simple - whatever the person prefers is the correct version. I also use 'Yuuri', because it's nicer than 'Yuri K', but his canon name in English is spelled 'Yuri'. Canon = what's in the anime🙄

And the チ business 😆 Like you've said, it's just 'chi', which is a sound similar to 'chi' in 'children', but it's a bit softer sound, and definitely waaaay softer than 'ch' in 'coach'. It's a part of "ta, chi, tsu, te, to" sounds (not k and not c, and there is no 'ch' without 'i'), so it's a rustling-sounding evolution of 't' sound, that sounds nothing like 'ti' anymore, and this is the reason why it's simply spelled 'chi' when transliterated using Hepburn - coach is コーチ in Jp, which then becomes 'kōchi' back in Latin alphabet. Not to mention that you've simply pointed out that the wrong character was used, which was an objective fact about Jp language - キ is 'ki' as in 'kitty', a part of the 'ka, ki, ku, ke, ko' sounds, and katakana for 'chi' is チ, the 'chi' sound in 'children'. Which is by no means compulsory knowledge for anyone in an anime fandom, so yeah, just correct the 'typo' that may confuse a person, who reads your post and that's it.

Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.

I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.

Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.

My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.

You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.

Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.

To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.

I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.

If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.

I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).

If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.

I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.

[remerg]

Can we

Can we talk about Jake just-

USING/WEARING BOOTS LIKE JSFBSKDJJD

NO BUT not just BOOTS, he WEARS: Heeled Boots

(I know they almost yell at you in the face when they're giving him his things back and the Spielberg character just says 'boots, black'. It's just the fact on how much heels those have HEJSSVBFHSJDJS)

[shannonsketches]

like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime

why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?

it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working

Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!

[the-archivists-corner]

If my lesbian friend was being bigoted and transphobic like that, I'd call her out on that because there's a difference between needing someone to talk to in a judgement free zone and being an asshole and a bigot

[licorishh]

Hey as a super introverted but not shy person I'd just like to say the jokes about extroverts "adopting" introverts to "get them out of their shell" are actually completely unfunny and it just goes to show how little respect a lot of y'all have for the fact that we genuinely don't want excessive social interaction and that y'all are forcing us to do something that brings us extreme physical and mental discomfort because you perceive our introversion as a failing rather than as purely a difference in personality.

We don't need your "help" to socialize. We're not children. We're simply not interested in spending every waking second of our lives talking to people and being talked at in return.

[musical-chick-13]

They should invent a life that is not lonely.

[manasurge]

.

[yesplsnothankyou]

I only come on tumblr when I'm at the very end of my rope and barely hanging on by a quickly disintegrating thread and I don't know what that tells you about me

[lightningfilledsaber]

I'm so fucking sick of my brain

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)

[anthromimicry]

sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.

[starshine-selfships]

YOURE ALSO SHIPPING WITH AN ANGEL NAMED GABRIEL!?? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

GOD GOD YES!! Also fun fact I lowkey knew you specifically would see those tags and got excited to see if you would say anything hfjgrgj

Here's the guy of the hour, the week, the YEAR

(The art with the oranges is my own lmao)

I got the game he's from as a gift for Christmas from a friend who really likes it (and I was like yeah!! I wanna play the game too!!) so everything I'm saying has a grand total of a month and a half behind it, and I feel like the short time duration is important to highlight the insanity here kdjffk

ALRIGHT SO spoilers for the entirety of ultra.kill as a game bc he's integral to the overall plot, but some background before Gabby, the game is centered around a robot (controlled by the player) descending down through 9 layers of hell a la dante's inferno style, bc this particular machine is blood powered and mankind has been completely wiped out (partially by war, partially by something that hasn't been made 100% clear yet), so you're just going around slaughtering everything in sight, with the chunkiest graphics known to man along the way.

Gabe's role here is to step in and try to stop you bc you're basically a walking abomination to all that is holy, Gabe is the angel that sends people to hell and is also the one chosen to carry out the will of god so he's also done a lot of killing to do that; he loses to the machine, gets so mad he curses at you (calls you an insignificant fuck) and then leaves, but we see a little behind the scenes, where we learn he's never lost a fight like this and the rest of the angels call it heresy; they sever his connection with divinity and tell him he has 24 hours to fix everything or he'll die. So naturally, next fight he's pissed as hell, and starts out MAD, yelling and threatening, but as it goes on, he starts having fun and laughing and taunting, and when he loses again, he says he feels relieved and needs time to think. He starts introspecting and starts questioning everything he's been told after he realizes he wasn't feeling hatred, but a sort of passion in the challenge of the fights. He starts asking himself if the angels he followed were actually in the right, and ends up killing them all, accepting that he's going to die but that he'll die not only having been freed from the constraints placed on him, but also having freed heaven itself from the angels that basically held it hostage with their power.

He's also as close to trans as you can get without explicitly calling him such! The devs discussed angels and pronouns in a recent stream and said they wanted angels to have no pronouns if possible, but then realized that they needed to gender Gabe when another character wrote a diary entry about him, so they settled on pronouns as a mark of angel status, which means that he didn't originally use he/him, but picked it up later and continued to use it no matter what; the other angels called him "it" after the took his divinity, but the overall narration still uses masculine pronouns for him, so it comes with the implication that he's still exactly who he knows he is, no matter what is said about him, which. as a trans man. good lord fhsjg the trauma of his arc hits very close to home for me and that was part of what propelled him into the spot he has on this blog.

The other thing that got him here was. and there really isn't any other way to say it. This man turned everyone into rabid animals, I have never seen so many people look at a character and desire him so violently, everyone wants to do unspeakable things to this man and it is so funny hdsjgks his VA will also voice pretty much anything in-character as well, so there's a lot of unhinged bullshit that makes for an absolutely incredible image of this man. He's a little uptight at first and throws a fit when things don't go his way, he seems like the exact kind of man that would be kind of silly, this man would struggle to peel an orange, throw it at a wall, and then later hang his head in his hands about it. This man would be able to speak multiple languages but would somehow mispronounce every single word as he goes. He's an astounding character and he's also kind of pathetic and something about all these factors just. lobotomized me. There is a gay little angel where part of my brain should be and I've just accepted it. I had a gay dream about him one single week after I saw him in game, the grip he has on me is UNREAL and I've fully accepted it.

He gives the very fun aspect of "is not human and has no idea what humans need or how they act", which makes him utterly hilarious to me, I wanna see this man try to preheat the oven, he is trying so hard to cook something for me and he is burning it so badly, he does NOT know what a car is and is frankly too wary of it to even consider getting in it. People also arrived at the consensus that he's probably very tall, it's been confirmed that there are no canon heights in the game, but everyone has agreed that Gabby is at least 7 feet tall and it is the funniest thing on earth to me. Very large and somewhat confused angel who means the best trying very hard in his new environment. Oh my god wait when the developers had that stream I mentioned they also talked about Gabe for a bit in regards to his personality bc in-game he saved someone from being swept away in the river styx (now an ocean after an influx of souls), and they were so grateful they added a fully functional hologram of him onto their ship, saying the lines he'd said when he'd saved them, and the devs said that they'd wanted that to be a glimpse into what Gabriel is like when he's not immediately targeting you as an enemy or fighting, and the specific words they used were "he's kind and loving" and that short-circuited my brain immediately upon impact.

He is The Guy Ever, he's basically trans and 70% of the people who drew him gave him top surgery scars even before the devs talked about gender, he's got religious trauma and guilt, he's too tall and has probably never read a book outside of the bible, he giggles and whimpers, he is considered to be one of if not the most wifeable character in the entire game, he has an official body pillow, I want to put him in pretty little outfits, I want to hold his hand and take him to the beach, I want to pin him against a wall, he is. Such A Guy,, thank you so much for asking me about him he makes me feel so insane hsgjsdl

[jacksintention]

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