#In WHAT fucking world would that be the case. There's an argument for the way like people can use The Idea Of Others (eg. ''Protecting the

[twilightkitkat]

I feel like Logan is oftentimes written as a character who wants a large amount of distance and space in a relationship but I think that wouldn't really be the case. Obviously he can't be around anyone every waking hour of the day and he's his own person, but I'm convinced he'd be clingy once he got into a relationship. He knows to function on his own, he knows he can go through the motions but he just... doesn't want to.

One of the main arguments I see for him wanting a lot of space is that he has an eternity to live so he doesn't feel constrained on time when it comes to Wade, who's also immortal like him. And yes, that's true, but I raise you this: he's already had 200 years without him. He's had time to do all the things he wanted to (and didn't want to) do alone—he's traveled to different countries, explored his own origins and backstory, learned about different people and places. And sometimes he enjoyed it, even if most of the time he was desperate and angry and isolated from the world.

He already spent enough time being alone that he knows how it feels. He got it out of his system. He was forced to be alone for so long that he almost forgot what it was like to have a companion, let alone someone like Wade. Someone he genuinely connected to for the first time, who understood him and wanted him.

Logan knows what it's like to be alone. He lived through it almost every day of his hellish life in one way or another. He's tired of it, now. He had 200 fucking years to stew in his own company, 3 times longer than most humans even lived.

But this? The feeling of curling next to someone and feeling their warmth? Burrowing so close you can hear their heartbeat? Waking up next to Wade and seeing his bleary-eyed smile? Fighting next to him, trusting someone to watch his back? Waking up from a nightmare and being held and comforted by someone who understands him?

It's so much better than anything he could've imagined. Why would he ever go back to how things were before, when he knows what it feels like to be next to Wade and be loved just for existing? (How could he go back to being alone after finally tasting happiness?)

He'd want to savor it. To lean into the relationship hard and memorize all of Wade's little habits and routine and quirks. He'd be clingy, letting himself demand affection and attention because he knows he can get it. And he's been starved of it for so long.

He knows he could leave, if he wanted to. That he could go out on his own for a while, back out into the cold. But why would he voluntarily do that when he has a perfectly nice fireplace to keep himself warm? If he really wanted to go out to marvel at the snow, now he could bring someone with him and share that joy together. What could be better?

[nezoriy]

Trans people in Ukraine: transition process, legislations, healthcare, and social attitudes 

Kyiv, 2024. A protest for adopting bill #5488 that defines hate crimes and introduces harsher punishments for them. The author stands second to the left. Photo source

Whether it’s Ukraine, Palestine, or other “third world” countries, the issue of queer rights is often used even by the relatively well-meaning liberals to claim: “We shouldn’t help them, look how badly they treat their queers!”

Of course, the ethical argument against it would be that no one deserves genocide and not that “the situation is not that bad.” But anyone who has argued online at least once knows that’s not how it works. So the argument I'm here to make is:

Trans rights and lives in Ukraine are not that bad.

I’m a trans man living in Kyiv. I’m currently medically and legally transitioning, I have a lot of trans/nb friends and try to involve myself in activism. So I have both first-hand experience and up-to-date info to talk about the issue.

Let me be very clear here: things are not perfect. 

We still don’t have a lot of legal protections we need. The human factor and community networks matter a lot. But it’s not the “leave the country if you’re trans” levels of bad, and haven’t been for a while. 

Compared to some Western European countries with rights for self-id and third gender markers, Ukraine is obviously not that progressive.

However, after learning more about the UK’s trans issues, as well as the various US states’ anti-trans legislations, I was compelled to write this text because I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart: “Shut the fuck up” to everyone who wants to say something about how backward Ukraine is. 

In Ukraine, trans and other queer people can live their lives relatively freely. And what’s even more important: in contrast to a lot of “developed” countries, the situation with trans rights and social acceptance is actually improving. 

(Am I afraid that our society and legislators will slide backward with the influence tr*mp will have over the whole world? Yes. But that’s another issue entirely. And historically, even during his first term, our laws actually improved.)

So, if you ever find yourself arguing about Ukraine, here is everything you need to know to also politely ask everyone bemoaning “poor” Ukrainian queers’ fates to shut up.

In the first part, I talk about general vibes, and in the second one, I go into the transition process in way more depth than was necessary. This monstrosity absolutely got out of hand, if I’m honest. Maybe I need to try to shoot a YouTube video so people can use it as background noise.

Read on Medium or keep reading here.

In any case, enjoy!

How do trans people in Ukraine live? Laws, attitudes, and vibes

Kyiv, 2024. A protest for adopting bill #5488. The author stands second to the right. The poster says “Stop violence against transgender people. Adopt 5488.” Photo source

So, you’re transitioning. What life in Ukraine has in store for you?

Ukrainian trans legislations

There’s a clear legal procedure that allows Ukrainian trans people to change their gender marker and all of their legal documents.

In Ukraine, there are some laws to protect against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. 

There are also laws prohibiting hate speech/discrimination in the media. They don't protect from misgendering, insensitive jokes, and stereotyping. But show me a country where they do.

There are no laws prohibiting trans people from using the right bathrooms.

Unfortunately, you can only transition medically and legally once you turn 18. Minors can get a psychiatric diagnosis (but not F64.0) but they don't have access to puberty blockers. 

There are still quite a lot of hate crimes. Police are often not investigating them properly. They get classified as “hooliganism” instead of a hate crime. The good news: more people are reporting them, and NGOs are actively working on these cases. Bad news: the bill to define hate crimes specifically and introduce harsher repercussions for them has been lying in the parliament for more than 2 years. Activists are actively advocating for adopting this bill. In general, there’s an understanding that it might be done in the coming years.

Same-sex marriage is not legal. However, there's a bill to introduce civic partnerships. And there is an explicit understanding in society that queer people will benefit from it the most. Unfortunately, it's also been lying in the parliament for 2+ years. Activists work hard to change that. The main detractor is the council of the churches. 

There's some gray legal area around the issues but there's a common understanding that trans people are not allowed to adopt children. They also can't retain custody over their under-18 children if they change their documents.

Society at large

The author presents his painting “A time to plant and a time to uproot” about his experience of transitioning during the full-scale invasion during the Ljubljana Pride events in 2023.

According to recent polls, social attitudes toward LGBT+ people are improving by the year. In 2023 a poll showed that 64% (info in Ukrainian, use Google Translate) of people expressed neutral or positive attitudes towards queer people (compared to 54% in 2022). The number of people who have negative attitudes towards LGBT+ was 33,9%. Contrast this with 60,4% in 2016.

For some trans people, it's hard to find work if their documents do not match their looks. When it comes to hiring practices, the anti-discriminatory laws often don't work because obviously a business can refuse to employ you citing other reasons. However, all of this depends highly on the industry and specific employers. For example, most Ukrainian IT companies are okay with gender-nonconforming and trans people. They, along with NGOs, often have anti-discriminatory company policies. It’s harder to get employed when it comes to customer service jobs. However, I’ve heard positive personal anecdotes there as well. In general, the situation is improving compared to even 5-10 years ago, but there's still room for growth. 

The major public force that opposes queer rights, and one with the most influence, is the Council of churches (which includes most major denominations that exist in Ukraine.)

In general, in mainstream liberal circles, it's no longer acceptable to be openly transphobic or homophobic. For example, a lot of large bloggers, who consider themselves nationalists (which used to be synonymous with anti-queerness) are publicly supporting queer rights as a marker of a civilized society and progress regardless of their personal beliefs. 

Increasingly more mainstream liberal media is trying to give positive coverage to the queer community, from using the right lexicon to shooting special materials dedicated to queer and trans issues. Still, it’s also quite common even for some of the well-meaning media outlets, and especially bloggers to misgender trans people, use clickbait headings, and so on. The vast majority of media were incredibly confused regarding the right pronouns when covering Nemo’s Eurovision victory.

3rd Forum for Transgender and Nonbinary People, Kyiv, 2024. The slogan reads “TRANS*forming the reality.” The author stands to the right. 

Increasingly more queer books are getting published, including those by Ukrainian authors.

There are right-wing organizations that specifically target queer people, harass them online, even attack physically, and threaten queer events. Just yesterday (November 9th, 2024) a bookshop canceled a presentation of two Ukrainian LGBT+ books because they were threatened. However, by year right-wing organizations with explicitly queerphobic agenda are becoming more and more inconsequential in mainstream society. There's an understanding that most of these groups, although claiming to be ethno-nationalists, are actually funded by russians, and they look up to russian "traditional values" as opposed to the "decadent" West even to the detriment of our victory. 

TERFs are also not mainstream and don't have any actual political sway. They’re only loud on X and Facebook but they don't have their own organizations and most mainstream feminist NGOs are explicitly queer- and trans-friendly. 

Ukrainian queer community

There are a lot of LGBT+ and trans NGOs that promote queer rights, advocate for the community, collaborate with the legislators, and help out the community (including materially). 

There are a number of publicly open trans and nonbinary activists.

The hormones are quite costly and there's no way to get them free from the country. However, the NGOs are often offering hormones as humanitarian help for free. Most of the time, I myself get hormones this way.

All in all, since 2010 (and especially 2016) the number of trans organizations grew and their work has become more influential. 

Military

Ukrainian LGBT Military NGO. On their website, they state they have a separate online community for 15+ trans people who are currently serving in the military or are veterans. 

There are no legal protections or mechanisms to regulate the relationships of trans people with the military. That's also a huge zone for growth the activists are working on.

The state also doesn't provide people in the army with hormones. 

There's an NGO for the LGBT military. 

There are open trans people in the army. But most trans men I heard of are in stealth.

LGBT+ people, even the open ones, may face some discrimination in the army from their comrades and officers. However, the mainstream idea communicated by lots of military people is “I might not personally like queers but I don't care who you are as long as you're busting your ass for the victory.”

When going through the TCRSS (Territorial Center of Recruitment and Social Support, local military administration) evaluation, except for the good old regular transmisogyny, transfems may face additional scrutiny and negative attitudes from medical professionals and officials because they may be seen as “draft dodgers.”

A personal note: I'm in the process of changing the documents so I haven't communicated with TCRSS yet. I won't dwell upon it but I have to say for the record that I'm absolutely willing to accept not only rights but also responsibilities that come with an “M” gender marker in documents. So, if I'm considered to be fit for the military, I won't try to avoid it. Moreover, my consciousness dictates that I do have to serve. Still, the process of going through the military medical board scares me a lot – way more than the military service itself.

A bit of history: the transition until 2016

The author’s art.

Until 2016, the transition process was frankly all kinds of fucked-up. 

To get access to legal recognition and healthcare, a person had to go through a doctor's board evaluation. The doctors (including psychiatrists and sexologists) were predominantly educated in the Soviet Union where all kinds of queer people were considered deviants with psychiatric disorders (and often, in the case of gay men, criminalized.) So, the board was incredibly transphobic and homophobic. It used a questionnaire full of questions relying on the worst kinds of gender stereotypes: “Would you rather be a plumber or an artist? If you were a journalist would you write about sports or art?” 

If you didn't look like a very stereotypical version of the gender you're transitioning to, down to the underwear, you were fucked. 

If you let them know you're not straight, you were fucked. 

And there was only one board for the whole country, in Kyiv, so if you haven't "passed" the assessment the first time, it was way harder to get reevaluated. 

Even if you got the psychiatric diagnosis and got access to healthcare, to be able to change your gender marker and documents, you had to get sterilized.

I personally know some people who didn't want to go through this shit so they went on HRT and instead of changing the gender marker just changed their name and surname in their documents (we are allowed to do that for non-trans reasons without any issues.) This way, at least when they are signing documents and so on, they won't see their deadname constantly. They also kinda hoped that people checking their documents would just skip over the gender marker or think it's some kind of mistake. 

Side note: both a sad and funny aspect is that you can change your name and surname just because you want to, but you can't change your patronym or drop it altogether. And it's always, always gendered, so if you went this way, from Olexandra Olexandrivna Ivanova you'd become an Olexandr Olexandrivna Ivanov (-ivna being female suffix, the male version would be -ovich.

Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of activists, the legislation around the transition changed, becoming way, way more relaxed. It's been in place since.

Legal and medical transition in Ukraine

Kyiv, 2024. Author at a protest for adopting bill #5488. The hashtags read “human rights,” “inclusivity,” “equality,” “safety.” Photo source. 

After some confusion in 2016 around the procedures, they’ve become quite established. I started the medical transition in 2023 and legal – in August of 2024, so the info is as up-to-date as it can be.

#1. Getting a psychiatric diagnosis of “transsexualism”

If you go about your transition the proper way, the first thing you need to do is get a psychiatric diagnosis. Ukraine's healthcare system is still working with ICD-10. The country is committed formally to moving to ICD-11 but there’s a common understanding it’s really unlikely to happen until the war ends. 

Under ICD-10, the diagnosis you need to get is F64.0 “transsexualism”. Yeah, yikes. 

You need to go to a state psychiatrist, the diagnoses from the private ones are not valid. 

De jure, you should either keep in touch with a doctor to be observed for 2 years or spend 2 weeks in a hospital. Most of the time, it's understood to be a day hospital, so you visit every day but don't sleep there. But it’s up to the doctors, so there were cases when a person spent the whole time in a psychiatric hospital. Obviously, the person is kept in the ward of the gender they were assigned at birth. You can imagine that for a lot of peopl,e the experience is quite distressing, especially considering that Ukrainian state psychiatric clinics are really not fun places to be in.

Considering this, a lot of people look for workarounds – and find them.

In some hospitals, you can pay a "voluntary contribution" (a bribe basically). The price tag for this in Kyiv’s main psychiatric hospital is around UAH10.000 ($250). 

In some hospitals, fortunately, there are friendly doctors (and/or doctors who themselves belong to the queer community) who can help you out willingly. 

In any case, if you can get arrangements in place, you just visit a couple of times and the hospital puts the necessary dates on the documents without actually keeping you there.

How do you get evaluated for F64.0

In a psych hospital, you get the bloodwork and some other physical examinations done (for example, a cardiogram, a lung x-ray, nothing invasive.) 

You talk to a psychologist who assesses your general mental state. 

And you talk to a psychiatrist and write an auto-biography focusing on your transness specifically.

The evaluation is still often based on strict gender binary and gender stereotypes. It is implicitly understood within the trans community that for example as a trans man you have to present the narrative that you always played with cars and not dolls, preferred the color blue, befriended only the boys etc, etc. Friendly psychiatrists know that this is bullshit but often still ask to narrate your story like this in case some of the higher-ups have any questions. 

Correspondingly, even if psychiatrists are aware of the nonbinary spectrum, nonbinary people still have to present a very binary narrative to get the diagnosis.

Being non-straight does no longer automatically mean you don't get the right diagnosis. However, a lot of people still prefer to hide it if possible. I told my psychiatrist I'm bi with a preference for women (which is true) and had no problems because of that. 

It is implicitly understood that if you're already on HRT (DYI, found a very friendly private endocrinologist, etc), the whole process is likely to go easier for you. That was my experience: I just emphasized that I've already been on HRT for half a year and so much happier for it.

When getting a diagnosis gets more complicated

Because of the war transfem people now come under more scrutiny and the evaluation has become way more strict than before 2022. Some doctors plainly refuse to do it at all. The reason is that the doctors are afraid that people trying to go through an mtf transition just try to avoid the mobilization. 

There are cases, especially in the regions, of doctors refusing to deal with our trans shit. But legally doctors are not allowed to refuse to provide trans healthcare. So if you know your rights you can either press them or file a complaint. In any case, you can just go to the next state hospital and try your luck there.

A lot of psychiatrists refuse to give you F64.0 if you are currently depressed or especially have some more serious psychiatric diagnosis. A lot of them go like "well, go treat your depression and then come back." Obviously, it's absolutely bullshit because a lot of trans people are depressed because of gender dysphoria but it is what it is. Most trans people advise their peers not to disclose their other diagnosis when undergoing this evaluation. 

This part is often the most hard and stressful. If you have your diagnosis, the rest is usually easier. Well, mostly.

#2. Endocrinologist, HRT, and the certificate of transing your gender enough

The author after 2 years on HRT.

Once you have your F64.0, you go to an endocrinologist. For HRT, private ones are okay. They make you do a lot of bloodwork and then prescribe HRT. 

Most of the time, trans people go to the doctors that other trans people recommend. There's an understanding that there's a high chance a random state doctor won't be educated enough in trans healthcare. Because of this, I haven't heard of cases of mistreatment or refusal to work with a trans patient. 

When you're on HRT for some time, you get a medical document from your endo that you've been on hormones for long enough and your secondary sex characteristics are now aligned with your desired gender.

#3. “Sex correction” certificate from a family doctor

With the document from the endo, you go to your family doctor (a GP). They get you a medical document that states you have "corrected your sex". Except for the family doctor, it should have the signature of one other doctor and the head doctor of their hospital. 

Most of the time it's just a formality. Legally, family doctors can't not do it. So, if they are refusing to help you, you can file a complaint and pressure them legally.

In my case, I signed a contract with a family doctor who's explicitly queer-friendly and has already helped quite a lot of trans people. I needed to go to her hospital (in Lviv) to be physically present, but everything went quickly. There were no additional examinations or assessments, no questions asked, we just needed to sit in a queue for a bit and the head doctor signed my documents.

#4. Birth certificate change

To change your gender marker, you first go to a civil registration office, and with the documents from the psychiatrist and the family doctor, you file a request to make changes to your birth certificate. 

There are cases when the officials try to refuse to do so, quite often out of ignorance. The officials are not legally allowed to refuse to file a gender marker change request if your documents are in order. So, once again, you can file a complaint and pressure them into registering your request.

There are also cases, however, when the document from the family doctor is not done 100% right according to the regulations (most of the time because the doctor didn't know how to do it right, not out of maliciousness), and the officials refuse you because of it. In this case, they are legally right, so most of the time you have to ask the doctor to reissue the certificate.

Because of the war, you can go to any registration office in Ukraine, and they request the info from the registration office where your birth certificate was issued. The downside is, they legally have 3 months to do so.

Side note: I'm at this point now. The registration office made a request to the hospital that issued me the "sex correction" certificate to confirm it, and they haven't gotten a response yet although it's been more than 2 months. This request is not necessary but also not illegal. If my birth certificate is not ready in 3 weeks, I'm likely going to contact the paralegals from a queer NGO and file a complaint.

#5. Changing the national ID and other documents 

The sign reads “to the European country – progressive laws.” Photo source. 

With your new birth certificate, you go to a center for providing administrative services (just as well, during the war any is okay, not just in the neighborhood you're registered in) to change your national ID. I was shocked to learn that in some countries, including the UK, national IDs are not mandatory. In Ukraine, they are, and they are a primary document you use for identification. Basically, no one ever sees your birth certificate. It takes about 2 weeks. Then you can change the rest of the documents: passport, driver's license, tax documents, educational documents (if you want to), and so on. 

#6. Registering with the military office

Regardless of the "direction" of your transition, after changing your ID, you're supposed to go to the Territorial Center of Recruitment and Social Support (TCRSS) – the local military registration organ. That’s where things get tricky once again.

For context: all people with a “Male” gender marker are registered with a TCRSS when they are teenagers. People with “Female” markers are not. They are only registered if they become bound for military service for other reasons (for example, doctors.) 

Under the military time law, all people who have an "M" marker have to be assigned to a TCRSS, and have their personal information updated in person or in a special app ("Reserve+"), and go through a medical board’s assessment in a TCRSS. The whole process is quite complicated even for cis men as on the one hand it is highly bureaucratized. There are literally cases when a trans man who had his uterus removed had to go through and have the certificate to confirm it still has to go through an assessment by a state gynecologist to prove he hasn't somehow grown his uterus back in the meantime. And on the other hand, there’s a lot of gray legal areas where decisions depend on the individual official’s assessment. 

The main decision dependent on the human factor is: whether a person is considered fit for military service (then they get mobilized effectively immediately), "unfit for military service," or "fit in a limited capacity.” Before the full-scale invasion, “limitedly fit” was equal to "unfit." Now it usually means you either have a temporary delay of mobilization and you have to show up every 6 months to prolong it, or you're mobilized and get assigned to a second-line position pushing the documents instead of being on the front lines.

Most psychiatric diagnosis, including F64.0, is a reason to consider a person either "unfit for military service" or "fit in a limited capacity." So, what does it mean for trans people?

Transfems who changed their gender marker to an "F" have to show up to a TCRSS and get themselves excluded from the military register because now they’re not bound for military service. 

Transmasc people with an “M” marker, as it follows logically, have to show up to get registered. They go through a military medical board like cis men. 

Most of the time, transmascs are considered permanently "unfit for military service." However, this decision is up to the TCRSS’s head officer.

Communication with the TCRSS is honestly a huge issue trans activists are working on. People transitioning in both directions often face a lot of misunderstanding and outright hostility from the military medical board and officers.

Most trans women want to get excluded from military service and face discriminatory attitudes basically because the state doesn't want to exclude them, and a lot of officials think they are just transitioning to avoid military service. So they can face a lot of hate and contempt. 

A lot of trans men on the other hand may be willing to serve in the military but can't do so because of the psychiatric diagnosis. There’s a conundrum because often trans men willing to serve don’t get to, and those unwilling to serve get told “well, you’re a man now so fuck off to the front lines because you’re disposable.”

As I’ve already mentioned, it all comes down to the human factor, and unfortunately in a lot of cases, people working in TCRSS are uneducated and bigoted. And because there are no specific legislations regulating the relationships between trans people and the military, the officials get to exercise their bigotry.

Crossing the border

Besides not getting mobilized while walking down the street, getting your documents right with the TCRSS is important because it defines whether or not you can leave the country.

Transfem people with an "F" gender marker who get the documents done and are excluded from military service can travel outside Ukraine. There are unfortunately quite a lot of cases of trans women having trouble crossing the border if their documents are not crystal right. Recently there was a case of a trans woman who wasn't allowed to cross the border: despite having an "F" in her passport, she skipped the TCRSS step, so officially she still was bound for military service. Unfortunately, the border guards were legally right. 

Quite often the border guards are putting under a lot of scrutiny even those trans people who are legally allowed to cross the border (transfems and transmasc with an “F” marker.) That's also an issue activists work hard on. 

#7. Gender-affirming surgeries in Ukraine

The author’s art. On Instagram 

People are allowed to get gender-affirming surgeries and are not required to get any to change their gender marker.

The context you need to have about Ukrainian medicine: we have free state medicine; insurances exist (but they are not really widespread. Some companies, especially in IT, pay for them, but according to 2019 data only about 9% of the people have them); and there are also lots and lots of private clinics. Those are often quite costly. But they are also well-staffed and well-equipped, and in most cases, you can get an appointment with a doctor for the next day or within a week.

So, gender-affirming surgeries are available, but almost exceptionally at private clinics. This means people have to save up quite a lot and often travel to Kyiv or other large cities to get them. But there are no waitlists and patients can get good healthcare without facing any discrimination.

There are however cases of trans people getting free healthcare at a state clinic. Mostly that happens when the doctors are willing to help them out. In the documentation, they state a diagnosis that qualifies for free healthcare (any trans-related diagnoses are not.) For example, one trans man I know got free top surgery at an institute for cancer research, presumably because in the documents the doctors claimed he was at a high risk of breast cancer. Another trans man got a free hysterectomy at a state hospital. Although he was put in a women's wing he claimed he got treated well.

I got a mastectomy at a private clinic just over a month ago. For that, I had to provide the F64.0 diagnosis and the "sex correction" certificate from my family doctor. Another doctor I consulted with only does the surgery if you've already changed your ID.

The price both doctors asked was UAH75.000 (about USD 1850). (For reference: the median salary in Kyiv is UAH 25.000 (USD625) a month.) My surgeon claimed that in part the price is so high because she has to rent a surgical room only in private hospitals as the state ones don't want to deal with this kind of surgery.

From the initial consultation till the surgery, it took about 2 months and it was mostly because I was gathering the funds.

At a recent trans event for activists, I got the information that there's a group of doctors in Kharkiv that do bottom surgeries for both trans men and women and they are quite good at it. I haven't looked into it more properly yet but still – good for us.

TL;DR

Trans people do face discrimination. There are no opportunities for legal and medical transition for minors. And there are some legal gray areas, especially concerning military service, when the lack of explicit anti-discriminatory laws and proper regulations leads to bigotry from officials.

But the legislation around trans rights is improving, not getting worse, and there are procedures for legal and medical transition. 

Social attitudes are also improving steadily – the acceptance of queer people in society grew almost twice since 2016, and more than half of Ukrainian society is neutral or positive towards the LGBT+ community.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Remembering a take I saw like. "It's fine to do revenge but when you say 'this is so u can't hurt anyone else' thats cop behavior" and. The entire take sure is Something but uh. Mostly I think it's Fucking Bad

[slvttyplum]

one thing about suguru, he can hold a grudge and can hold it for the longest time. he will literally argue with you while he's fucking you, and he has, multiple time in fact.

putting you in missionary while pushing your thighs up to your chest and giving you a kiss before his mood changes, and he starts spouting bullshit, you couldn't even rebuttal like you wanted to and that's exactly why he did what he did.

if he knew you were getting fucked out of your mind with the way his dick was touching and swirling your insides, there was no way you could shoot him down the way he knew you wanted to, and that brought a smile on his face.

no smart remarks, only stuttering and moaning trying to get your point across. he was never going to let you win whatever argument the both of you had that day, if he feels as though you were even on the track to winning, he was going to fuck you until you gave up.

“mm no baby. if i say i want you home at a certain time, that's what i want.” while pushing himself deeper inside of you so that you couldn't say anything and if you did, it would just be inaudible blabbering while you scavenged your brain trying to find the words to say if you could even get it out.

this is something that could be categorized as a toxic trait or “red flag” if anyone knew that suguru pulled you into the bedroom to just fuck you and argue with you while doing it, people would throw a fucking fit, not you though, you tried to hold your own.

blabbering your nonsense trying to defend your case while he dug you out, and it's not even like he did this on a whim. he fucked you so good that it had your toes curling and your stomach caving in like a caprisun.

don't play with him because he will do this off guard and all, you won't even know when he's going to toss you over and slide your panties off and just fuck you like he had all the time in the world. no one liked being right more than suguru did, it was in his everyday agenda to make sure that any and everything he said was right and that if you disagree then he was going to make sure you agreed.

“huh? oh, i thought you said something about me being wrong.” with a smirk on his face. suguru knew you like the back of his hand, of course he would know his favorite person, so with that being said, he knew that fucking you until you couldn't properly form a sentence would get his point across and not yours.

whispering in your ear while he pushed into your sweet spot over and over again, your heart racing so fast and your legs quivering with the amount of force he was putting on your thighs. expanding his point out even more just to hear that pretty voice of yours whimpering and pleading for him to just stop because you couldn't take it anymore.

all the pleasure was building up to the point you were getting cramps, so you knew you were done for.

“tell me im right, tell me that i fucked you so good that i made you a mess.” his mouth near your ear as he continues to fuck you in, your body jolting up and down, your mouth moving but nothing coming out, that's how he knew you were done.

“thought so. good girl.”

[dark-night-hero]

"So it's true! You and her- Guizhong were a thing. Then what the hell does that make me Morax?!" "Can you just drop it of? We're in a hurry." He was tired. And their friend was in danger. "No! Knowing you'll be out there to save your other lover, tell me the truth Morax! Is it true?!" It was the same topic of argument for some time now. He had been denying it over and over again, he just cannot seem to understand why you kept insisting even after hearing him say that was not the case. And he was getting tired of it.

Guizhong was just a friend and that very same friend is now in danger if they do not arrive at rhe right time and here he is getting hold up because of your questions. And knowing you would not let him go even if he were to deny it because that was the truth. Maybe he should give in for now to avoid further more questioning and leave as fast as he can so he could come back to you in now time, knowing that he could easily resolve the misunderstanding and his lies. "You know what. It's true. Now if you just get out of the way, I need to save her." "Wha-what? Wa-wait! Morax-!"

He did not mean to be harsh than he already is. He was just mad, mad because he saw no reason why you should get jealous of a friend, a common friend of yours. Mad because he was running late and a little more than to it could possibly result the death of a dear friend. At the same time, he was mad at himself for leaving that way. But he knew he could always explain when he came back into you. The two of you could always sort it out after the battle like you two always does.

So why? So why in the world- celestia were everything was on fire. And you were in the middle of it, leaning on your weapon for support, blood running down all the way from your temple into your chin. It was not just that. You are bleeding, bleeding all over. Why. Why why why why why? Just what the hell happened in here?

"Don't come." You utter, despite the fact that you could barely stand, you painfully look forward to your lover... heh, can he still be called a lover when he already admitted that he betrayed you? "Some..." you pant. "Some beings came into the city while you were away... hahh, I manage to defend the city until all the people manage to flee but- cough! Hahh, the god manage to escape."

"No. No no no no no." It was getting hard to breathe, nevertheless you should see Morax from afar, running towards you. "Bastard- I told you not to come he-!" You stagger forward, for a moment losing consciousness, still, you embrace yourself with the thought of you hitting the ground. But you never did.

"Let go." "It was a lie. There was no one else." "Morax- I said-" "I was in a hurry, I did not mean to say those words. Guizhong was only a friend. Believe me. God- Celestia. There is no one else. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me." He was hugging, cradling you in his arms. His tears rolling down his cheeks, into your own but you were feeling quite numb to notice that.

"It's..." You tried to hold up a hand but you could only feel the pain and the more it drains you. In the end you could only hold on into his arm. "It's okay... you don't have to lie to make me... feel better." You tried to smile to make him feel better, so why does it look like he was about to lose his whole world? "No. No please. It's nothing like that. I was a fool, I am a fool. Please believe me there is no one else but you. (First name). Please."

You knew he was talking, you can see him talking despite how things were slowly starting to go blurr, you can hear a few words but cannot seemed to focus on it when there is a high pitched ring that makes you unable to focus on what he was saying. Also, "It's cold." You mumble, fighting everything you can to stay conscious.

"Fuck!" Morax can feel your body slowly but surely cooling down. Suddenly his heart dropped as he panicked, he was getting anxious. He felt fear for the first time in his life. "Hold on, please hold on." He tried, he tried his best to fix you with his powers but it was no avail. You have so many wounds, you have already lost a lot of blood. You were dying all ago. "Fuck." He cursed once again. "Fuck, fuck! I told you to hold on (First name)!" He was getting mad again.

Morax felt like he was going mad, he felt like he was about to get crazy. Specially when he saw you starting to close your eyes. He felt a shiver down his spine. "Don't you dare close your eyes (First name)!" Not like this, not when you seemed to sure that he never loved- love you. "Fuck!" His amber iris were glowing with that presence of a dragon. "Don't you dare fell asleep (First name). I'm begging you please-?" He felt a light squeeze on his arm.

"Its.. okay." Taking your last breath, Morax felt the heavy weight of your now dead body in his arms. Your hand falling to your side as your head rest in his chest. At that very moment a rain drop fell from the sky, Morax arms were trembling yet still manage to pull you closer to him as if trying to find a little warmth. "Hah, hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHA."

That day, the dragon lost his mate. His one and only mate as his anguish cries were heard all throughout their land.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

: bye, may klase pa ko ng alas quatro sa hapon.

: Also, why is it always zhongli who become the victim of my angst ideas. Tho I might make a same promt with ???

[darnell-la]

𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗜𝗚 𝗗𝗢𝗚

pairing: the worst!logan howlett x younger generation!reader

warnings: Logan easing into the new world and generation, mention of Wade trying to get roommate!reader and Logan together, making a TikTok, sniffing, smut, etc.

note: “she don’t want no puppy! She wanna BIG dawg!”

———

Logan had thought living with Wade would be a bad idea. He belonged in his last universe with what he’s done. He brought himself down for years, mentally and physically, hoping the pain would stop. Thankfully, it finally had.

It’s been almost a year since Logan has lived with Wade and his younger roommate. The match seemed off when he first met her, but after the first hour, she knew why she and Wade were close friends.

The girl was in college, young, pretty, had a small job at the campus, and loved parties, and things that Wade did daily.

Logan had a small argument with y/n a couple of weeks ago after she gifted him an iPhone. She said he needed it to keep in touch with her and Wade. She also said he needed a bit of humor.

He had no idea what that meant until she made a TikTok for the man. The videos that came up on his page didn’t make sense to him, he he still laughed at them.

He had no idea what happened to himself, but sending memes to y/n every hour was a habit.

After sending y/n a TikTok video, he swiped and came across a sound that confused him.

The man in the video was lip-syncing a song as she showed his muscles. Logan gave a disgusting look at his phone, thinking the man looked ridiculous until he read the title.

“When she chose you because you’re height starts with a six and your weight starts with a two”

Logan sent the video to y/n, asking her what he meant by that. He didn’t know being a muscle-tall man was a trend.

“Logan, I’m in the room next to you, just come here!” Y/n shouted in her room, making him sigh loudly as he got off of the couch for the first time in what felt like days.

“I just wanted to know what he meant? Like is being big and tall a trend? Like, if that’s the case, then I’d be viral,” Logan used words that y/n and Wade ran him by.

“God, Logan — Do people your age question everything?” Y/n checked her phone and noticed what trend he sent her. She’s thought about this trend but with Logan in it. He fits it perfectly, but Wade would tease her if she’d ever brought it up.

“I’m just askin', Bub. Seemed stupid to me,” Logan shrugged his shoulders. “Because you haven’t tried it,” y/n defended her generation. “So, you’re into that stuff? God, y/n — Never knew you’d be one of those kids,”

“I do like it, and since you’re so boring, we’re gonna have you do it, so c’mere,” y/n stood up from her bed and placed her phone down on her desk after clicking the sound.

“Gotta take your shirt off for it,” y/n lied, but she knew he’d do it, even if he complained. “No fuckin’ way, bub,” Logan laughed as he turned around to go back to his sofa until she grabbed his arm softly.

“Please! You never do TikTok’s with me,” y/n fake cried, annoying him in an instant. “Ain’t takin’ my shirt off for no little girls online. I’d get, what’s it called? Canceled?” Logan said, making her laugh.

“Logan, you sound stupid as fuck. Take off the shirt — Unless you’re jealous they look better than you,” y/n shrugged her shoulders as she went back to her bed to sit down, acting like she didn’t care to get a reaction out of him.

“Bub, you know I look better than them, so stop the lyin,” Logan felt a bit upset at her words. Y/n ignored him for what felt like hours, so he sighed and gave up. “Swear to god, I’d Wade say some shit about this, I’ll kill him,”

Logan and y/n worked on the TikTok for an half hour, trying to get the right angle since he kept saying he didn’t look good enough.

Y/n never complained. Watching him walk through her door repeatedly, then editing the video in slow motion, made her stomach tingle.

At first, Logan felt uncomfortable. She could smell the young lady, but he didn’t want to say anything. He’d be a pervert if he did, so he kept quiet, thinking it would go away, but he knew her spot grew bigger.

“So, you think I’m a big dog?” Logan genuinely asked as y/n began to edit the TikTok video. “What makes you think that?” She asked; thinking she nailed her scared response, but Logan saw the quick stutter in her fingers as she typed on her phone.

“Just askin, bub,” Logan said before taking a small sniff. He was leaning on her doorway as she sat on her bed. He was so far., yet she smelt so close.

He cussed himself out in his head, upset that Wade had won this “you’ll like her eventually” argument. Logan swore she was too young, and even made her feel a bit bad.

He had thought y/n had moved on, maybe got over the thought of her having a chance with Wade’s new friend, but the smell she had, is making him go insane.

All she’s doing is making a TikTok. That’s it, but he can’t stop thinking about the spot she’s soaking in her panties. He felt nasty, but in a good way after a while. The lust was taking him over.

“You happy you’ve got your little video?” Logan asked as he kicked off of her dorm frame and walked towards her bed to sit next to her.

“Yes, finally,” she smiled at him before continuing her edit. Logan scanned the girl's body slowly, watching how spotty her breathing was, seeing goosebumps form on her arms, and watching her leg shake a bit.

“Is that so?” He asked as he placed his hand on her thigh. She’s always been a sweet bean to him, but he ignored it. He tried his best to prove Wade wrong, but she was hard to ignore, and Wade knew that. Wade knew y/n would bring something out in the grumpy old man.

“Mhm hm,” Y/n mumbled as she pushed the post on her phone. “Think it’ll get a lot of likes,” she looked to the side at Logan who was now closer than she thought.

“And why is that? I look good?” He asked her, eyes on her soft and pretty lips. “Uh, yeah — Think the viewers will like it,” she awkwardly smiled, feeling her heart raise.

“Think you liked it more than the viewers will,” Logan almost whispered. Y/n just noticed how his shirt was still off. Why was his shirt still off?

“Seen you repost that video, y/n. You’re not slick,” Logan spoke about the video he had sent her. “Think you were thinkin’ about me when you did it,” the man smirked.

“I- I was just reposting,” Y/n stuttered as his hand slowly cupped her chin. “Guess I’m not the big dog you’re lookin’ for them,” Logan faked sighing as he pulled his hand back.

Before he could turn around to get up, y/n grabbed his face and pulled him into a short but long kiss, hoping to get the best out of this one-time thing.

“Told you last you, you ain’t for me, baby,” Logan said, making y/n look down in embarrassment. “I know,” she said. “I lied — Was just goin’ through a little somethin,” Logan admitted before pulling her back into a kiss, this time rough.

Y/n gasped as he breathed into her mouth, sucking on her lips like he’d starved for days. “Lo,” y/n moaned low at the feeling of his pulling her into his rough kisses.

Logan decided to push Y/n down on her bed and lean over her, keeping their lips together. Y/n instantly wrapped her legs around the man, pulling him closer as he moved his hips, grinding on her to feel the pressure.

“Oh, fuck,” Logan groaned in between their kiss, feeling his cock leak already. “If I fuck you, Wade wins,” Logan pulled back from the girl, taking a look into her eyes. She thought the man would leave, get off of her and never speak to her again, until he assured her, he was staying.

“Fuck it — Can’t resist you anymore, baby,” Logan smashed his lips back onto the young lady's lips, kissing her roughly as he tugged on his jeans. All y/n had to do was pull up the gown she wore almost every day she was off of work when she was too lazy to dress up.

“Wait- We need a condom,” y/n leaned up, but Logan pushed her back down. “Oh, no we don’t. Your cunts leaking too much for me to not feel her,” Logan said. She was confused, not knowing how he knew she was wet until she thought to herself.

He’s a mutant. His only powers can’t be regeneration and speed.

“Fuck, I-“ y/n cut herself off, embarrassed at her pervy actions. He probably smells her all the time. “Caught red-handed,” Logan chuckled as he put his cock in hand.

“Always wet around the house. Teasin’ me and basically beggin’ for me every day. Wished I took you to my room when I first met you. Maybe by now, we’d have our little family,”

Logan pushed into the girl, giving her no time to think about what he had just said about a family.

She’s never thought of a family with Logan. It’s not he wasn’t father material, it’s the fact she’s only been thinking about him pleasing her, and pleasing her only.

“Fuck, that’s it,”

[allthingscons1dered]

As someone who grew up with 5 older brothers, I cannot help but think of how older-brother-coded both Dick Grayson and Jason Todd are.

(A/N: It’s not that I don’t love Tim and Damian also, they just give off more younger brother vibes to me. Also, I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible, please don’t hate me if it’s not.)

CW: None, slight cursing.

So I proudly introduce as my first ever post:

Annoying Older Brother!Dick Grayson and Jason Todd Headcannons:

Batfam x gn!reader

Y’all ever come home from school excited for the leftovers that you’ve thought about all day and FIND THEM GONE?!?! Jason ate them. Just to spite you. And he won’t even play dumb about it either. He will admit it so carelessly.

“Did you put your name on it?” He’ll shrug with confidence. He gives no fucks. He needs that caloric intake.

Jason is that sibling who you’ll argue with until you’re blue in the face and then text you 20min later with no explanation, just: “food?”. (Said argument was probably about the leftovers btw).

And you’ll still go get food with him because, well, siblings.

Dick is an older brother in the way he’s not even the tiniest bit nonchalant. He will 100% tell the cringiest stories about you in front of anyone you bring home. Unapologetically.

Or drop you off at school with the most EMBARRASSING song blasting from the speakers. He lives for it.

Another thing about Jason? He will absolutely barge into your room, flex in your mirror, knock shit off of your dresser, throw something at you, and then leave. Completely unprovoked.

He probably even steals the current book you’re reading from your nightstand.

It will return a day later out of nowhere.

Imagine just chilling on the couch, scrolling on your phone and suddenly you’re bombarded with their presence.

“Is that a *boy/girl* you’re texting?” Jason will ask as he looks over your shoulder, knowing damn well it’s not.

But guess what? Denying it would just make it worse.

And of course, Dick would freak out.

Because why would his younger sibling be dating? You’re way too young; practically a baby in his eyes.

In the case that you’re actually talking up your latest crush, Jason would have the following reaction:

“I don’t give a damn who you date,” But give him ten minutes and he’ll hit you with the classic, “so what’s this kid’s name again?” He will be looking them up later.

I think Jason would try to be the brother who acts like he doesn’t care but would most definitely be over your shoulder 24/7 about a lot of things. Dating being one of them.

One time, my brothers shoved me into a box, taped it shut and then set me on the front porch. These two shitheads would do that— or something similar, like hanging you upside down from a grappling hook— and say, “It builds character.”

Ohhhh, that reminds me. You think the two of them are annoying individually. Think of them both TOGETHER.

You try to avoid being around the both of them at any given time, but it’s inevitable.

Like picture yourself coming home after fighting some D-list villain like Condiment King— because of course everyone else was busy— hoping that no one else is back from patrol.

But no! No, no, no. Why would the world ever want you to be so lucky?

In front of the Batcomputer sits Dick and Jason, there to witness your arrival in your mustard-and-mayonnaise-covered suit. Dick will at least attempt to hide the smile behind his hand.

Jason openly laughs his ass off. Tears will be brushed from his eyes as you glare at his shameless reaction.

“Well, I hope you were able to ketchup to him,” Dick cracks with a grin.

The sound of their laughter follows you as you retreat to the locker room, middle finger raised in their direction.

[keikikait]

ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

this is part two. for part one, click here!

read the prequel series here!

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader, (not au, both are early to mid 20's)

word count: 3.4k

summary: rafe is trying to be a better man for you, but for a second he's his old self again

warnings: angst!, insecure(?) rafe, rafe & reader argue, rafe gets uhh.......... a little violent, rafe chokes the reader (non-sexual), literally pure angst. just a big argument

a note: i'm sorry for the angst, but rafe is a flawed character. ik i just posted my jj fic but i was almost done with this one, and it's a lil short so you get two :P

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

After holding Rafe in your arms, letting him feel your pulse so he can remember that you’re here, alive, and safe, he finally lets you clean his knuckles.

Rafe sits on the couch with you on his lap, facing him, a black towel spread out over the ivory fabric, just in case any blood dripped. The couch was $4,000, he wanted to protect it maybe even more than he wanted to protect you. Your legs are on either side of his hips, and he grips your thigh with one hand while you tend to the other.

You’ve been quietly cleaning his knuckles, swiping them with the isopropyl alcohol pad after giving them a warm soapy wash. Rafe sits back in his seat, looking down at you with a slight frown on his face. His knuckles are bruised purple and red, and dried blood cakes the skin near his fingers. He winces a little bit when you get closer to the cuts, but he doesn’t try to pull away. He moves his other hand to gently run his fingers through your hair, pushing it out of your face.

Your voice is quiet when you speak. “Why do you let them get to you?”

He lets out a small sigh as he runs his fingers through your hair again, his eyes focused on the side of your face. “I hate when they talk to you like that,” he mumbles. “I can’t just let them get away with it, baby.”

“That’s just how JJ is,” You say, brushing another isopropyl pad between his fingers. “Even before you and I started dating he would talk like that.”

His jaw clenches. He remembers all the times that JJ would disrespect you, and he would have to sit idly by the sidelines and pretend that it didn’t bother him. “I hate it,” he grumbles. “I should’ve beaten his ass the first time he said something like that.”

“He’s just… still upset with me,” You sigh, grabbing the box of woven knuckle bandages. You had bought them months ago after Rafe got into a fight with Pope, and thankfully you kept them around. You pull one out and open it, carefully wrapping it around the knuckles above his pointer and middle fingers. “He’s still upset with me for dating you, still upset with me for leaving The Cut. He’s just upset.”

“He’s got no reason to be. Not with any of it,” Rafe sighs. “You’re better off here,” He watches you quietly with his eyes, not even flinching when you finish wrapping around his knuckles, moving on to the next finger.

“I went from being one of his best friends to dating one of his mortal enemies,” You say, moving on to bandaging the rest of his fingers. “I went from being his friends with benefits to fucking his least favourite person in the world.”

“You’re better off with me,” he repeats, his fingers clenching a little bit in his lap. “You don’t belong with them. You never belonged with them.” He watches with dark eyes as you finish wrapping his fingers, his eyes shifting between the way your lips gently kiss his hand after you’re done bandaging it and the way your thighs squeeze around him, his cock starting to harden underneath you.

“They’re allowed to be upset, Rafe,” You say gently, moving on to his other hand. “JJ and John B.”

He lets out a scoff as he shakes his head. “No, they’re not. They don’t get to be upset because you’re happy.” He reaches up and grabs your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “Look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re happy with me.”

His rough touch shakes you slightly, but you quickly refocus. You look him in the eye, unblinking. “Of course I’m happy with you, Rafe.”

He doesn’t break eye contact either, his eyes searching yours. He’s looking for the slightest hint of uncertainty or hesitation in your eyes, but you seem to be telling the truth. 

His fingers loosen their grip on your chin, his hand moving to rest against the back of your neck as he pulls you closer to him, pressing his lips against yours, his free hand going to press his thumb against your pulse once again. His kisses are possessive and dominating, but passionate nonetheless. You kiss him back, careful not to touch the raw skin on his knuckles. You try to pull away, but Rafe refuses, gripping the back of your head and pulling you back in.

He holds your face close to his, his teeth sinking into your lower lip, gently biting down as his tongue pushes past your lips, deepening the kiss. His large hands go to your hips, pulling you further into his lap. He groans when your thighs squeeze his. “I want you again, baby,” he murmurs, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Rafe, I gotta finish bandaging your knuckles,” You say gently. “I can’t let them get infected.”

He lets out another frustrated sigh, his eyes closing for a moment as he struggles to remain patient. “Baby, I need you,” His hands grip your hips tighter, gently pulling you against him again. “Please,” he almost whimpers as he buries his face in your neck.

“After I’m done,” You say, pushing against his chest so he lays against the back of the sofa. “Now hold still.”

Rafe groans in frustration when you push him back, opening his eyes to glare at you. “Don’t you get it, baby? I need you. I already waited long enough.” he whines, the whine changing into a groan when you finish bandaging his knuckles, his hand balling into a fist.

You stand up, gathering all the trash. “You’ll wait until I give you permission, Rafe.”

He watches you stand up, groaning before resting his head on the back of the sofa. “Give me permission?” he scoffs. “That’s not how this relationship works, baby.”

You take a deep breath, leaning one hand against the kitchen counter. Rafe was stressed out, high on adrenaline from his brush with JJ and John B. You know he didn’t mean those things, but you couldn’t help but get annoyed. “That’s exactly how this works. You don’t get to fuck me until I say yes, Rafe. That’s how consent works.”

He sits up almost instantly when you mention consent, his eyes locking on yours from across the room. “Consent?” he repeats, the word feeling bitter against his tongue. He had never forced you, but the accusation hurts his pride. He stands up, his jaw clenched tight as he strides towards you. He glares down at you, his hands balling into fists once again. “What the hell are you saying, huh?” his voice is low and dark. “I’ve never forced you into anything.”

“I know you haven’t,” You say, moving away from the counter. “But I don’t appreciate you saying that you don’t need my permission, when you do.”

Another scoff comes from his lips, and he takes another step towards you, his hand going to grab your side. “You think that’s how it works, baby? Huh?” he chuckles, his fingers digging into your soft skin. “If I want something, I get it, when I want it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to give it to me.” He eyes you up, squeezing you. “I just wanna mark up that pretty little body of yours enough that guys as far north as Raleigh know it belongs to me.”

He wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be different, he wasn’t supposed to be like-- “You’re acting a lot like the old Rafe right now,” You say, standing your ground. “You’re acting a lot like the Rafe I don’t like.”

He can’t stop the scowl that forms on his face when he hears your words, a look of anger, and even hurt, in his eyes. He hates that you’re seeing him this way, and that he can’t seem to stop himself, but being compared to his former self makes him furious. He takes another step forward, his hand moving up to wrap around your neck again, his grip just a little too tight. “You don’t know when to shut up, do you, baby?”

Something switches in your eyes. You were no longer confident and standing up for yourself, you were scared. Your eyes widen ever so slightly, and your shoulders tense, your body instinctively leaning away from him.

That’s the reaction that he was looking for. He can feel the way that you tense underneath his fingers, and his eyes darken when he sees the way that your face morphs with fear. Rafe takes another step towards you, pinning you against the counter, his hand still around your throat, fingers tightening around it. “I like you a lot more when you stop talking back to me, sweet girl.”

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. This wasn’t your Rafey, the gentle Rafe who would shower you with presents on your period and rub your back when you had bad cramps. This wasn’t the Rafe who would pick you up and spin you around, peppering your entire face with little kisses when he went too long without seeing you. This is the old Rafe, and you don’t like him.

Your memories flash through your mind, one after the other; Rafe bullying you and chasing you out of Kildare Academy, Rafe throwing things in class when he was angry, Rafe getting drunk and driving dangerously during tailgate parties. You close your eyes, trying to push them away, but they fill your lungs like poisonous gas; infecting you with memories of Rafe screaming, yelling and threatening you, threatening to throw you off of the yacht party you snuck onto one time even though it had already left the dock, threatening to destroy your father’s business if you ‘didn’t get your worthless Pogue ass out of Figure 8.’

“Let go of me,” You finally find your voice, although you struggle to keep it even. “Please.”

He’s so caught up in his anger and bitterness that he doesn’t even register the pleading in your voice. “Please?” he scoffs, mocking you as his eyes trail up and down your face. “Who are you to tell me, please, baby? You’re my girl.” He moves in closer towards you, and his hand presses down a little tighter around your neck, his body so close to yours now that he has to look down at you. “I swear, you’re too cute when you try and act all tough, sweet girl.”

“You’re hurting me.” You manage to say, eyes wide and terrified.

He finally seems to realise the situation. Rafe stares down at you quietly, his fingers loosening their grip around your neck when he sees the fear on your face and hears the desperation in your voice. His eyes widen almost instantly, guilt and shame filling him as he registers the way you’re shaking. “Baby,” He finally mutters, his voice hoarse. He pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

“No, no!” You push him away, body trembling. “Please…please don’t touch me.”

He feels his heart break when you push him away, and he takes a step back. “Sweet girl…” He starts, his voice trembling as guilt fills him. It takes everything in him to not reach out and try and wrap you up in his arms, and he raises his hands to show you that he won’t touch you again. “Baby, please… I didn’t mean it,” he pleads, his voice low and full of emotion. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t trying to—”

“I don’t like this Rafe,” You say, shoulders shaking as you start to cry. “I don’t like him at all.”

Seeing you cry is what breaks him the most. “My love, please, please,” he pleads again, taking another step towards you. “I won’t do it again, I swear, I’m sorry,” Rafe is desperate for you to let him hold you, but he knows better than to try and touch you right now. “I’m so sorry, baby, I promise, I didn’t mean to. Don’t cry, please, baby, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You don’t get to treat me like that,” You say, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “That’s how the old Rafe treated me, the old Rafe that followed his father around like a dog, trying to do anything for his attention. You’re a different person now, aren’t you?”

He grimaces when you bring up his father, and he hates being reminded of that Rafe. He hates remembering who he used to be. He breathes out your name, shaking his head and taking another step forward. “I swear I’m different, I swear to you, I’m different. I’m a better man now. You make me a better man, my love.” he hesitantly reaches out to touch you again, his hand coming to cup your cheek. “I swear. I’m so sorry, beautiful, don’t cry, please, God, I’m so damn sorry.”

You let him cup your face, but you don’t lean into his palm as you normally do, and it kills him. He can tell that you’re still uneasy, and that fills him with a deeper guilt that burns through his chest like a fire, pain and regret stinging him at once. “Baby,” he begs for you to look at him, to forgive him. “Please look at me, beautiful. You have to believe me, I’m not like that anymore. Please, don’t cry over something I did…please,” his hand starts to gently rub your cheek.

“Rafe, please…” You whisper. “Please don’t do that anymore.”

“I won’t,” he says, desperately needing you to believe him. It hurts him so much to know that he terrified you. “I swear, my love, I won’t do it ever again, you know that. I just lost control for a minute, that’s all.” His hands go to gently caress your upper arms, his fingers rubbing over your soft skin.

You bring him into a hug and the moment that you touch him again, he lets out a deep sigh of relief, and his arms go around you, holding you closely to his chest. His hand goes to the underside of your jaw, and he finds the thudding of your pulse. He rubs his thumb over the skin of your neck, the thumping feeling so comforting to him, you were always so comforting to him.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, although you don’t know why you’re apologising.

“Shhh,” he responds, shaking his head and pulling you closer to him. “No, I’m sorry, baby. Please, don’t apologise to me when it was my fault, it’s always my fault.” His nose goes to bury against the crook of your neck, and he inhales deeply, smelling you in his arms, in your shared home. He needed you, he needed you so badly, and seeing you afraid of him had been so upsetting.

“It’s not always your fault,” You say. “Don’t say that.”

“It really is, my love.” Rafe sighs against your neck, inhaling again. He can’t help himself, he just needs to smell you, your skin mixed with the scent of the perfume he got you. He can still feel the way that your body had tensed beneath his grip, and it makes him sick to his stomach. He had been just like his father in that split second. There was no difference between the two of them at that moment. His hand moves to the back of your head, and he turns his own head to bury his face into your hair, taking another deep breath.

“I don’t like seeing you angry,” You say. “Especially when it’s because of fucking JJ and John B.”

He lets out a groan when you mention the two of them again, his fingers tightening their grip on you. “I really hate those goddamn Pogues,” he mumbles against your neck, his breath hot on your skin. His lips press soft kisses against your shoulder, his hands slowly relaxing. “They just piss me off, baby. They piss me off so damn much.”

You reach up, lightly scratching your nails along the back of his buzzed head. “What did you fight about? Earlier, before our date.”

“Those assholes were just running their mouths, talking about you, saying that you belonged with them, not with me,” he mumbles, nuzzling you again. “I don’t think either of those fucks realise that you chose to be with me.”

You sigh, rubbing your thumb across the nape of his neck. “I’m not surprised that they’re upset, Rafe. They probably think you’re blackmailing me or something. You used to hate me. You used to threaten me.”

“They should give me a little more credit,” he mumbles against your skin, shivering when your fingertips gently drag down his neck. His arms move to wrap around your waist, pulling you against him. “I did use to hate you. Hated you and I don’t even know why. I just hated you for years. And that was stupid, baby. I was stupid.”

“I think you hated me because I was a Pogue,” You say. “Or, because I am a Pogue. I think you hated me because I talked back to you, because I wasn’t scared of you or your dad.”

Rafe shakes his head against you, his lips moving to plant a soft kiss on your shoulder. “You were always brave, speaking to the old me like that,” he says, rubbing the side of your waist. “You never hid from me, you never cowered like most of the Pogues. You always looked me right in the eye, and talked back at me, and you don’t even know how hot that was.”

You can’t help but laugh, continuing to lightly scratch along his head. 

He smiles against your shoulder when he hears your laugh, his lips moving to kiss up the side of your neck, his hands slowly trailing down your sides. “It's true,” he mumbles, moving back up to kiss just below your ear. “Most girls, Pogues, fuck even some of the Kooks, always ran away from me. They looked terrified, and I revelled in it. But you never did. You always stood up for yourself, and that was so fucking hot.”

You continue to hold him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Before our date… did you swing first?”

Rafe lets out another small sigh, a hint of a scowl forming on his face at the reminder of the fight. “No,” he mutters, his fingers flexing against your hips. “Goddamn JJ swung at me first, like always. I was just defending myself. But Ward used to tell me that if they strike first, then you hit them twice as hard, and that’s what I did.”

You sigh. “At least there’s that.”

His lips go to the soft skin behind your ear, gently pressing kisses against you. “I’m sorry, beautiful,” he mutters, his breaths tickling your ear. “I’m so goddamn sorry for putting you through any of this. I’m sorry for being like this, I’m sorry for being just like Ward. I swear to you, I wasn’t trying to... I wasn’t trying to do that, I just got so angry—”

“Shhh,” You pull back, bringing one hand to cup his face, rubbing your thumb across his cheekbone. “It’s okay.”

He leans into your touch when you caress his cheek, and he leans in when you pull away, his body seeking your comfort. “It’s not okay, and I know that,” he whispers, his eyes closing when your hand cups his face. “You were scared, you were scared because of something I did. That’s not okay, and I swear to you, that it's not going to happen again.”

You lean forward and kiss his forehead, leaving your lips against his skin for a few seconds.

Rafe’s eyes stay shut, one of his arms going around your back to keep you close against him. “Please, baby,” he whispers, shaking his head. “I need you to believe me. I swear to God I won’t let it happen again. I swore I’d never be like Ward, and I’m not going to let that happen again. I’m a better man now, and I don’t want to be the reason you look so fucking scared like that. Never, not ever.” 

Rafe pulls back, cupping your face. “Do you forgive me?”

You hesitate before nodding, speaking softly. “Of course I do.”

You forgive it all as it comes back to you.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

★taglist: @ietss, @momoewn, @blairsblg, @bacardisworld, @jkrafe, @teenwolfbitches28, @watchmerora, @drewsphswife, @otheliesstuff, @gilwm (italics means i couldn’t tag you!)

part 3?

[sorrelchestnut]

I've seen a fair number of posts both here and on reddit that question why Tav (or the Dark Urge) would end up as a group leader for any other reason that "game mechanics say so." There's the requisite "okay, well if you play a high charisma character I guess it makes sense," or on the other end of the spectrum, "if you're playing Durge and murder someone right off the bat everyone would be too scared to tell you no." And I get where people are going with this! I really do. But it also fundamentally misunderstands a facet of human nature, which is that the vast majority of people do not actually want to be in charge, because that means being held responsible for the outcome. Accordingly, most people will dither when a group consensus is needed: have none of you ever tried to get a group of friends to agree where to go for dinner? Yeah, it's like that, but waaaay worse.

A lot of times "leadership" is just the willingness to say, "fuck it, y'all do what you want, but I'm doing this." I see it all the time in a corporate environment, where people will go back and forth on group meetings without anyone making a decision until finally one brave soul goes "in my opinion the clear answer is x" and then everyone gratefully goes along with it. Because now it's not their responsibility when something goes wrong! They're just following along with someone else's suggestion, and maybe it works or maybe it doesn't, but at the end of the day they don't have to worry about the consequences unless they're personally affected. In which case they might step up and argue back, and then they're stuck being a leader, too. Welcome to adulthood!

Lae'zel is the only one who ever even tries to exert some kind of control, when she tells you to follow her lead on the ship, or calls you her subordinate in the Grove. But, crucially, she doesn't ever make any serious attempt to take control: you can just tell her, "lol, no," and she sort of confusedly gives way, because she doesn't know how to handle this scenario. In her world there are commanders and subordinates, and everyone knows where they stand and falls in line. She's never actually had to take control of a situation and so at the first sign of resistance she falls back on the dynamic that's familiar to her, which is executing the commands of someone older and more experienced. She goes through a lot of growth over the game, to the point that she can take over as a resistance leader in her own right by the end, but at the beginning she's a wet-behind-her-ears private with some decent combat chops and it shows.

Otherwise, your party consists of:

Shadowheart, who's trained in infiltration and assassination and does NOT want a lot of attention brought to her or her mission for a variety of reasons;

Astarion, who has literally been a slave for two centuries and canonically takes a while to realize that he can exert an opinion beyond complaining about it;

Gale, whose only friend is his cat and couldn't project-manage his way out of a wet paper bag;

Wyll, who was probably trained for command at one point but has been doing the lone-hero thing for a decade and has a very large secret that he's trying to conceal; and,

Karlach, who's only ever been a bodyguard and a soldier and is genuinely just happy to be here.

Honestly, it would be more a surprise if Tav/Durge didn't end up as their unofficial leader, given the general power dynamics at play. The first time Tav/Durge says something like, "fuck it, we need to do something instead of stand around arguing about it, let's go check out those ruins over there," it's a done deal. They're The Captain Now! As long as they don't make decisions that fundamentally oppose something dear and important to the other group members, they're not even going to get any argument. Because at the end of the day, not one of these walking disasters has enough trust in themselves and their decision-making skills to feel any kind of certainty that they can choose the right path forward. If someone else is going to take that decision out of their hands? They're going to follow, no questions asked, right up until the moment they can't.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt2

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Grid x Fem!Reader

warnings: cursing, pregnancy, shit-talking, grid baby

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

It had been 5 months since my last encounter with Logan. Well, the last time I actually talked to him, if you would consider the argument we had as “talking”.

After I stormed out the house with my suitcase I made my way to my Best Friend Lily’s house and told her everything. Since Lily lives with Alex, he obviously heard everything that happened and absolutely reamed Logan a new asshole.

Lily and Alex were nice enough to let me stay at their place until I was able to get on my own feet again. Lily was adamant on making me stay until after the baby was at least 6 months old, so that I could comfortably move everything out without dealing with either a pregnancy bump or a newborn that would need constant attention.

-

Today was the Miami Grand Prix and I attended to cheer on my Grid family and the second Logan’s eyes fell on me, he sprinted over, his hand immediately touching my stomach

“oh my baby, how are you my love? how’s she doing for you?” Logan said coming in to try and place a soft kiss to my lips, only for me to step back “cmon babe. i’ve done everything to win you back, let me just be with you. i need to be in my daughters life” Logan said with pleading eyes.

“and you will be, just not with me in yours,” i say, removing his hands from my bump “and don’t touch my stomach without my permission, especially when it’s hot outside.”

Logan looked shocked at my comment but tried to shrug it off putting his hands right back on my stomach “my pretty girl, tell your mommy to forgive daddy, daddy didn’t mean what he said”

“Hey! She fucking said to stop touching her.” a voice yells, Logan turn to see who interrupted his time with both his love and his baby

“Listen Lando, this doesn’t concern you.” Logan scoffed attempting to put his hands right back on my stomach but Lando quickly stepped in front of me.

“It actually does concern me, seeing as you’re touching my girlfriend AFTER she told you to stop.” Lando’s voice stern, absolutely shocking Logan

“your girlfriend?” Logan looked sad, heartbroken and utterly confused

“yes, MY girlfriend,” Lando started “The woman you let slip away, the woman who might be carrying your baby but will probably see me as her dad, the woman you mistreated, the woman of my dreams and my beautiful, strong, confident girlfriend”

My hormones were absolutely not on my side because the more Lando went on, the more I started crying.

I’ve never felt this type of love with Logan, I mean yeah in the beginning of the relationship it was pure bliss, but after the first 2 months it was just like we were roommates that fucked and occasionally told the other we loved them whenever we were in private.

In public however, we seemed like the happiest ever, like there was nothing wrong in our world. That we were obsessed with each other, like the world would stop revolving if we were conjoined at the hip.

I can admit, for 2 weeks after my breakup with Logan and blurting out that I was once again with child, I couldn’t stop thinking about how cruel it would be to my daughter to not be with her father and for a second I almost went running back to Logan and begged him to forgive me for my outburst and to take me back. When I went to confide in Lando and ask him if I should go back, he told me that was the dumbest thing I could’ve done because if it is beneficial for my daughter it would be the worst years of my life knowing her dad thinks so lowly of me.

Lando was really my rock during my whole breakup and pregnancy, he encouraged me to move out of Lily and Alex’s house and into his in case something happened in the middle of the night, if I needed something and just because he overall thought I shouldn’t have to live alone while I was pregnant.

Lily thought it was weird that I moved into Lando’s place just 2 weeks after moving in with her but she made me promise to go over to hers at least once a day so she could talk to her niece.

I was quickly pulled out of my daze when I felt a small tug on my arm. It was Lando urging me into the McLaren garage after Logan started throwing a hissy fit.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Lando said with a light chuckle to ease the mood, placing his hand on the small of my back before quickly yanking it away. “Sorry, I know you just yelled at Logan for touching you without permission, and I just did the same thing. Can I touch you?” Lando asks, genuinely upset that he did the same thing I reprimanded Logan for, the only difference? I craved Lando’s touch, whereas Logan’s sent a nasty shiver down my spine.

Both my hands taking both of Lando’s. One hand I guide to the small of my back and the other I guide to my bump and I watch as Lando’s eyes widen.

This is the first time I’ve let someone other than Lily touch my belly and Lando was determined to take in this moment. The look of excitement evident on his face as he feels her kick.

“OH MY GOSH, DID YOU FEEL THAT? I mean- obviously you felt that, she’s inside of you but SHE KICKED Y/N/N, SHE KICKED!” Lando screamed in excitement, almost like a kid in a candy shop.

The look of adoration and love on Lando’s face made my heart almost burst. I drowned out all the excited squeals from Lando as I pulled him in for a kiss, smiling into it.

“You’re so cute when you’re excited,” I start saying before seeing the engineers ushering Lando to his car "Okay lover boy, give me a kiss and go to your car" I said pulling him right back into a quick kiss.

"Can I give baby a kiss too?" Lando asks with pleading eyes

"LANDO, GET A MOVE ON MATE! RACE STARTS IN 5" Oscar yells from the inside of his car before putting his helmet on

I chuckled before giving Lando a nod watching him as he quickly leans down and presses a firm kiss on the top of my belly before dedicating the race to my unborn daughter.

Dedicating a race to someone is a big task, if you end with a bad position or DNF it makes everything awkward but I have faith that Lando will end up on the podium.

-

We’re now down to the last 10 laps and the gap from Lando in first and Max in second just keeps getting bigger and bigger. The anxiety I’m feeling right now is worse than when I was waiting for my pregnancy test results.

The amount of laps only decreased and with every lap down, the gap grew. Once we were down to the last lap and the gap from Lando to Max was at a whopping 7.7 seconds everyone knew that Lando had secured his first win, he just needed to not fuck up and crash.

Once the checkered flag came into view, tears welled up in my eyes. Not only had Lando secured his first Formula 1 win but he had prior dedicated this race to my babygirl.

As the team ran to the pit lane, Zak came to view and offered me his arm which I gladly took as we made our way to where Lando would soon be.

"Lando's lucky to have you by his side, I know he dedicated his race to the little one," Zak starts. I can tell Zak wants to add more but he doesn't want to overstep a boundary, but with a nod of approval from me, he continues. "How do you feel about this whole Lando-Logan situation?"

"What do you mean?" I cock an eyebrow at him

"I mean with Logan being your daughters biological father but Lando being more of a full-time dad than Logan'll be?" a confused look falls over my features as I think over Zak's question. "I mean no disrespect Y/N, just curious."

"No, no I mean. We wouldn't be in this situation if Logan hadn't acted the way he did, so if he doesn't see his daughter as often as he wants that's his problem." I said nonchalantly shrugging. "But no more Logan talk. Lando actually finished the race and finished first, I think we should all celebrate." I say as I unlock my arm from Zak's as I watch Lando get put down from the crowd of McLaren engineers as he makes his way to me, wrapping an arm around me pulling me into a big sweaty hug.

"Oh my gosh Lando, I love you but you smell incredibly sweaty and it's gonna make me throw up." I say half joking as I gag, not even noticing the slip up. Not at least until I see Lando smile impossibly harder, " what?"

"You said you love me" I didn't even have a chance to process that I did in fact say that I loved him because Lando pulled me into a hot and steamy kiss, one that for sure would also make the news in a few minutes.

"I mean I didn't think that I'd be able to love, especially not after Logan. You changed that for me, but my god, please get on the podium and shower. I'm going to throw up." I say with love, adoration, proudness and sickness in my voice all at once.

"I love you so much more. You and baby" Lando says before pressing another quick kiss to my lips before being dragged to the cool down room

-

After the podium celebration and a shower Lando makes his way to me, pressing a tender kiss to my lips before asking me "All of the grid some team principals are going to this one bar, it's karaoke night. I really want to go but if you're not feeling up to it, we can just stay in at the hotel."

"Baby, you just scored your first win. Of course we can go." I say as I put my hand on his cheek before moving it to his hair, running my finger though it.

-

When we got to the bar we automatically spot the rest of the grid. I mean how could we not, they took up half the bar space?

"Baby, you can go grab a seat, I'm gonna grab us drinks, and before you say anything. Yes, I'm getting you a f/d." Lando said pressing a kiss to my temple.

"You know me so well. I'm gonna go say hi to everyone." I said as I squeezed Lando's hand before making my way to the group of drivers, WAGS, and team principals.

The second I was spotted by the WAGS they all made a beeline towards me peppering me with questions and asking if they could touch my tummy, all of which I gave permission to. I look at the rest of the table, waving at all of them and they all wave back knowing it might be a minute before they get a proper 'hello' because of all the attention my daughter is getting. I had made brief eye contact with Logan offering a tight-lipped smile before feeling a tap on my shoulder.

"Here you go, pretty girl" Lando says as he offers me my f/d which I gladly accept before looking back at Logan, only to find that his spot is empty. I don't give it much thought before I indulge myself in a conversation with the rest of the WAGS as Lando goes and has individual conversations about his win.

"Ladies and gentleman can I have your attention?" some lady says into the mic "the karaoke machine is now on and we already have our first request!" the bar erupts in claps and whoops as we all wonder who the first singer would be

"Singing 'Too Good to Say Goodbye' by Bruno Mars, put your hands together for Logan Sargeant"

My face fell as the song starts

"I've made mistakes, I could have treated you better. I let you get away. There goes my happily ever after." Logan starts, staring into my soul

"Tell me why, why can't we try and start again? This can't be how our story ends. You're more than my girl, you're my best friend. Tell me you remember when, ooh, I was your man and you were my girl It was you and me against the world" tears start welling in my eyes as he continues singing.

A firm hand on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to see that its Zak

"Don't you love Bruno Mars, why aren't you singing?" I stare at him, the tears on my waterline threatening to fall. I don't answer him though, I just turn my body back to the man on the stage.

"Baby, ain't nobody gonna love me like the way you do. And you ain't never gonna find a love like mine. Tell me what can I do to make it up to you? 'Cause what we got's too good to say goodbye, goodbye." The whole grid is staring at Logan in shock. They all know what he did and he has the nerve to sing this song to me on stage?

"Yeah, I'm still in love with you darlin'. I know you feel the same Oh, what's the point of both of us being broken hearted? I pray it's never too late" Me? Still in love with you? In your dreams Sargeant

"Girl won't you listen? It's you that I'm missin' . Take my hand, I wanna go, I wanna go. If we're gonna fight this fight for better days. I know we're gonna make it. This is the chance, let's take it." From another person's perspective, this would seem like a nice grand gesture to win back the woman of his dreams. I mean who wouldn't want their man to sing a song about wanting a second chance after he royally screwed up?

"Baby, ain't nobody gonna love me like the way you do. And you ain't never gonna find a love like mine. Tell me what can I do to make it up to you? 'Cause what we got's too good to say goodbye goodbye Baby, ain't nobody gonna love me like the way you do. And you ain't never gonna find a love like mine. Tell me what can I do to make it up to you? 'Cause what we got's too good to say goodbye, goodbye" The songs ends and half the bar erupts on claps and whistles as Logan stares in my eyes before talking into the mic.

"Y/N, baby, I know I screwed up. I'm trying to make this work. For you and our babygirl, just please give me a chance. I don't ask for much, really. Just a chance to undo my wrongs, a chance to make you the happiest woman on earth, a chance to rebuild our family. I want a chance to be in my daughter's life" Logan said sniffling as he wiped his nose before continuing "I really hope you liked this and it's enough to change your mind." Logan finished as he hopped off the stage making his way to me

Lando's protective side started to show a bit because the second he picked up that Logan was making his way to me he instinctively stepped in front of me, only backing up when I rested my hand on his bicep.

"Why? Why would you assume that I'll get back with you after that Logan?" I ask, my eyes raking his face for any type of clues. I don't know what I was expecting to come out of his mouth, but the reply he gave me wasn't it. It also not only made my blood boil, but everyone who knew about the situation's blood boil.

"Zak said you would"

I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS ONEEEEEE <3333

Lemme know if I should keep going!!!

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @eddieharrington

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesvRpKqBaYY-Ow5IgHoD0gSX6OzJ03qGMXOhHUI6Xg1wfKaA/viewform

[elodieunderglass]

Hi! I was wondering if you could help me out with a word I've forgotten? I'm trying to remember the name for a concept that (I think) talks about how people better understand or process Things once they have vocabulary to describe it - I've heard it talked about in regards to the colour orange, or coercive control, etc.

long story short i've just read a paper saying ancient Greeks and Romans weren't racist bc they had no word for racism and am trying to form an argument against!

(no worries if this is unanswerable, i'm aware its a bit of a long shot but you struck me as a person who Knows Things)

That’s extremely kind and funny of you. i don’t know much but i am ok at synthesis.

I think you might be thinking of the concepts loosely called the “Sapir-Whorf hypothesis”, which describes something called “linguistic determinism.” This idea has been “disproven”, as it is just too reductionist as a concept - people are clearly perfectly capable of having experiences that are tough to describe with words. There will be plenty of papers showing how this reasoning is applied.

but it is still commonly thrown around and still considered a useful teaching framework. That’s why you’ll see it referenced online as if it is fresh, new, and applicable - people learn about it every year in college. Also, elements of the framework are probably perfectly sound. It definitely seems to be the case that language shapes brains; it just doesn’t seem to be the case that humans who don’t have specific words for them can’t experience orange, or the future.

(Many things in college are taught using teaching frameworks that may not be, technically, true; the framework is intended to give a critical structure for interpreting information. Then, when we later find evidence that disproves the hypothesis, that single piece of information doesn’t destroy our expensive college education; what we paid for is the framework. This is mostly frustrating in the sciences, when fresh crops of undergraduate students crash around on social media, grappling with their first exposure to (complex concept) and how it’s DIFFERENT to what they learned BEFORE and their teachers LIED TO EVERYBODY and they’re going to save the world from POP SCIENCE by telling the TRUTH. You’ll notice that these TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION reveals map along the semester schedule. The thing here is that getting new information, or information being different from what you were previously told, does not cancel out the fact that you are getting what you pay for - an education. Learning new facts that change our relationships to hypotheses isn’t a ✨huge betrayal ✨ , but the expected process of academia. Anyway.)

You have an interesting response here, and can start by looking at the ways that Sapir-Whorf has been disproved. There will be loads of literature on that.

However, it would be interesting to look at the argument as an unpicking of the other side’s rather weird, ritualistic superstitious belief that a behavior doesn’t exist if the creatures doing it can’t describe it. It is not on the ancient Greeks and Romans to categorise and interpret their behavior for a modern educated audience. They do not have the wherewithal to do so. They are also fucking dead. We can name the behaviors we see, and describe their impacts, however the hell we like.

Sure, the ancient Greeks used “cancer” to refer to lumpy veiny tumors. We can infer that they still had blood cancer, because their medical texts describe leukaemia and their corpses have evidence of it - they just didn’t know it was cancer. But we do, so we can call it cancer. Just because Homer said “the wine-dark sea” in a flight of girlish whimsy doesn’t mean he was unable to distinguish grape juice from saltwater, which we know, because we can observe that he was an intelligent wordsmith perfectly capable of talking about wine and oceans in other contexts. We are the people who get to stand at our point of history with our words, and name things like “this person probably died of leukaemia” and “poets say things that aren’t necessarily literal” and “this behaviour was racist” and “that’s gay” and “togas kinda slay tho” despite Ancient Greeks having different concepts of cancer, wittiness, prejudice, homosexuality, and slaying than we do today.

Now just to caveat that people do get muddled about the concept of racism. Our understanding of racism from here - this point of history, with these words, probably from the West - is heavily influenced by how we see racism around us today: white supremacy and the construct of “whiteness,” European colonial expansion, transatlantic chattel slavery, orientalism, evangelism, 20th century racial science, and so on. This is the picture of racism that really dominates our current discourse, so people often mistake it for the definition of racism. (Perhaps in a linguistic-deterministic sort of way after all.) As a result, muddled-up people often say things like “I can’t be racist because I’m not a white American who throws slurs at black American people,” while being an Indian person in the UK who votes for vile anti-immigration practices, or a Polish person with a horrible attitude about the Roma. Many people genuinely hold this very kindergarten idea of racism; if your opponent does as well, they’re probably thinking something like “Ancient Greek and Roman people didn’t have a concept of white supremacy, because whiteness hadn’t been invented yet, so how could they be racist?” And that’s unsound reasoning in a separate sense.

Racism as the practice of prejudice against an ethnicity, particularly one that is a minority, is a power differential that is perfectly observable in ancient cultures. The beliefs and behaviors will be preserved in written plays, recorded slurs, beauty standards, reactions to foreign marriages, and travel writing. The impacts will be documented in political records, trade agreements, the layouts of historical districts of ancient towns.

You don’t need permission to point out behaviours and impacts. You can point them out in any words you like. You can make up entirely new words to bully the ancient romans with. You are the one at this point of history and your words are the ones that get used.

Pretending that “words” are some kind of an intellect-obscuring magical cloud in the face of actual evidence is just a piece of sophistry (derogatory) on the part of your opponent here. It’s meant to be a distraction. You can dismiss this very flimsy shield pretty quickly and get them in the soft meat of them never reading anything about the actual material topic, while they’re still looking up dictionary definitions or whatever.

[keehomania]

reader & rafe at midsummers/cameron family event and getting in trouble for basically fucking right there bc rafe doesn’t care who sees😩😩😩

put on a show — rafe cameron x reader

☄. *. ⋆ content warning(s) & genre: swearing, softish!bf!rafe, explicit unprotected sex, tit play, spanking, vouyerism, public sex, dirty talk — smut

˚♡ ｡˚ synopsis: they'd give it all up to spend a second in rafe's shoes, with you on their arm, but some wishes do more harm than good

✧.*

oh, to have it all. to have everything you've ever wanted and so much more. to throw money at any problem in your way, to rely on everyone but yourself in order to have what you want. big villas, expensive champagne, fresh seafood, fast cars, pretty women, and parents who never gave a shit about their kids. that was the life you had dreamed of, and the one you were currently living.

on the ocean course of kiawah island, you seemed like nothing but a dazzling accessory on rafe's arm—pure eye candy, all eyes on you, none of the attention on him. everybody was looking at you. midsummer events were made to live in the moment, to rid yourself of stress in order to feel the wind in your hair and the cool summer breeze on your aching tan lines. unfortunately, they were also made to show off by, not saying, but showing—my cars are faster than yours, my mansion is cleaner, my pockets are heavier, and with you standing with someone like rafe? it was only fair to assume you were just a trophy he could show off.

that wasn't the case. nobody had to know it, it was nobody's business but yours amd rafe's. you were well aware of the reputation your boyfriend had gained, the infamous status he had earned through the consequences of his own actions. you had been aware of it from the moment you met him, but you did something for rafe that no one else had done for him. something that had unintentionally broken down his stone cold walls of confinement he had spent his life building, revealing a treasured part of him that no one got to see, but you. you gave him a chance.

you were willing to take the risk. you were willing to sit through his anger issues, his fits of rage. you'd be lying if you said you haven't ended up in tears, sobbing on the cold floor after an argument, after he had gone off the rails once more, but you never gave up on him. he would leave you in an attempt to seek solace on his own, to calm down. each time he was on his way back, he had expected you to be long gone, but you never were. you would always be there, waiting for him with opens arms.

it softened his heart, knowing that someone was willing to put up with his issues. he couldn't put up with his issues, yet you found a way. you found a way past the misconceptions people had of him—past his jealousy, his need to control and manipulate, his fits of pure aggression that often led to threats and punches. you met him at his worst and stuck it out with him. he was still flawed, slightly more than your average kook, but nothing you couldn't handle.

the sun's radiant rays practically bounced off your skin, illuminating your eyes as you gazed up to look at your boyfriend. he was so fond of the sight of you, eyes soaking in admiration as a smile graced his lips. you were so magnetic to him, so stunning. it was a popular opinion amongst both kooks and pogues, but nobody would have you the way rafe did. “how are you feeling?” you murmured, voice gentle as you gestured toward john b's group yards away from the two of you. rafe was tense, you could feel it even as you held his hand, but he shook his head. “it's not worth it.”

he had all the time in the world to go after the pogues, all he wanted to do right then and there, was to spend some time with you. nothing more nor less to it. although, during every event, there always came a pivotal point where rafe's feelings would get the best of him. he would try his best to stay strong, to refrain from causing anybody harm, but sometimes? he had to do this his way, just to make his point. this was one of those times.

“hot for an ex-pogue, that's what i think,” one voice from behind commented. the unfamiliar face was accompanied by two more unfamiliar faces, who also chimed in. “nah, rafe can't handle allat. she's a knockout.” you were a knockout, that was a common fact. rafe was no longer looking at you; his eyes were glued primarily on the group of guys sitting in the background, his blood boiling as he listened to their shared snickers and comments. you desperately called for his attention.

“rafey, come on,” you held onto his hand, tugging at it ever so gently as you frowned, face drenched in worry. if you weren't able to stop him, who knows what would happen? he was capable of just about anything. “don't do anything to them, it isn't worth it.” for a split second, he glanced back at you, face softening the second he saw how worried you really were.

truth be told, in that moment, rafe felt as if he was the most intelligent kook to ever live. every thought about how long he could beat those guys without security coming, and how fun it would be to peel back their nails for every apology they uttered, went right out the window. you were right, they weren't worth it. not in front of everyone, at least. you were worth it. you were the grand prize men spent drooling over the minute you showed up—the same one women spent sneering at. ever since you had gotten together, it had been nothing but the same condescending comments. it pained him as much as it angered him, knowing everyone wanted what was his.

“you're right,” he replied dryly, and you swore his eyes darkened. it was his turn to hold your hand, pulling gently as he turned on his heel. “come with me, princess.”

more confused than worried, you did as you were told, following his tracks as he pushed past all the eager hands and widening eyes glued to you, his grip tightening with every step. he led you down the halls and helped you down the stairs. as the crowd's laughter died down, you neared a secluded room down the hall. you couldn't figure out what it was, for whom it was, but you didn't bother to question rafe as he forced the door open, ushering you inside.

despite the closed door, there was a wide and tall array of windows—more windows than walls themselves, actually. rafe noticed this, muttering a quiet “fuck,” under his breath before leaning against one of the windows. you frowned, walking towards him as you watched everyone outside, analyzing the tiny selections of unaware bystanders. “rafey, what's wrong?” you whispered, the back of your hand caressing his cheek. “can't stand it anymore, (y/n),” he shook his head. “can't stand the way they all leer at you.”

his jealousy had been an ongoing, consistent problem for him all throughout his life. as a kid, he was jealous of the other kids with better shoes. as a teenager, he was jealous of the ones with loving fathers. during his young adult years, all he's been jealous of was the way people stared with watchful eyes, praying that someday you could be theirs instead of his.

“no one else will ever have me,” you assured him, stroking his hair as he gazed up at you. “not the way you have me. not now, not ever. i can promise you that much.”

he loved knowing, despite it all, that you were his. you were his, despite the stares. despite the ongoing, blood-boiling comments. despite the praises and the compliments and the sheer amount of people submitting to you every day, just for an ounce of attention, you were still his. he couldn't make anyone accept it, but he could definitely make them wish they were dead.

“rafey,” you didn't have time to finish, not a second longer. he stood up, hands cupping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. your eyes fluttered, as if a common reflex, as you kissed him back just as sweetly. the kiss deepened, your mouths melting together as you stepped back, looking for leverage before your back hit the wall. his hands slid up your waist, right up your back as he pushed your arms up against the wall, kiss never coming to a halt.

the air was hot as you moaned quietly against his mouth, put in your place and unable to fight against his grip. he held your arms down with one arm, using the free one to explore every crevice of your body. he traced every curve, hands calloused, cold and rough against the bare, warm skin under your dress. “so perfect for me,” he gasped out, inches away from your mouth as he savored the drool from your lips. he couldn't control himself, rough palm squeezing your barely-clothed tits, thumbing each nipple as he tsked. “almost like you want everyone to stare, yeah?”

you moaned at the sensation, at a complete loss of words. he brought his knee up, sticking it in between your legs. a gasp left your mouth at the feeling of his rough knee, decorated by his dress pants, against your lacy underwear. you couldn't help but rut your hips against his knee, bottom lip tucked between your teeth and mouth open as you chased a friction of any kind. your boyfriend retracted his knee, a smirk playing on his lips as a whine of protest left his lips. “rafey, no—”

“why don't you answer my question first, yeah?” you frowned, eyes glossy as you stared at him. “don't want anyone else to watch, rafey. just you.”

he seemed pleased with your answer, hitching your dress up, the sight of your soaked lacy pink panties causing the strain in his pants to tighten. “i'm so glad to hear that, baby,” he cooed. before you could even smile, you were flipped toward the windows, hands pressed against the glass. “unfortunately, that won't be the case tonight.”

you couldn't even struggle with the position you were in, eyes widening as you realized what he was planning. “you aren't serious, are you?” all you earned at first was a dry laugh in return, but the sound of his pants dropping was enough for you. you caught the sight of him in the mirror, his collared shirt hanging just above his hips, v-line toned and his cock erect in his grey boxers. you swallowed at the sight, failing to catch his smirk. “there a problem, sweetheart?”

his rough hands traced your bare ass, fingers desperately pulling down your panties as he groaned quietly, watching you spread out and bent over for him. a string of slick connected your bare cunt and panties as he slid them down your thighs, and that was enough for him. he slid his own boxers down, sighing as the cool air hit his flushed, painfully hard dick. he brought his palm down against the flesh of your ass, a yelp leaving your mouth as the sting spread across your skin. he couldn't help but laugh.

“careful with those noises, princess,” he nodded toward the window. the one with a picture-perfect view of the inside catastrophe that was unfolding. all it took was for one person to turn around, and a nightmare would come true. “or, don't. let them see and hear how good i fuck you.”

that should have been your warning, because you had absolutely no time to react. not with him pushing into you, his tip squeezing between your tight, wet walls. you gasped, the foreign size intruding sending you into pre-oblivion. “shit, fuck, rafe, 's too big,” you barely croaked out. he groaned loudly, the feeling of your pussy sucking him in raw ready to send him over the edge. he watched the people outside, waiting for someone to finally turn around and get a load of the sight he had especially prepared for them. he wanted them to see past their delusions, realize who you belonged to.

“pussy suckin' me in too good,” he grunted, hands gripping the sweet flesh of your ass as he slowly began to drill your sopping cunt. you moaned at the sudden change, taking in every vein and every inch that fucked into your cervix. “drippin' all over my cock, baby.” his words made you whine, back arching as he watched your cunt engulf his cock whole.

he stared at you wherever he got the chance. his eyes watched the way your back curved for him, the way your ass rippled with every thrust that came your way, the way he'd just look straight and watch your tits jump with every second he spent plowing your cunt. he watched the way your mouth hung open, a string of moans passing your glossy lips. “never gonna get fucked this good,” he growled, and it was a promise. he grabbed a fist full of your hair, twisting and pulling your head back as he leaned in, pressing his lips against your ear. you moaned at the way your scalp tingled, the way he went even deeper, the sound of your pussy squelching accompanying your moans. “let'm know who fucks you this good, princess.”

he didn't have to tell you twice. it was all too overwhelming, anyway. the way he bit your earlobe while pounding your sweet, abused pussy, hitting your sweet spot while his free hand toyed with your tits, twisting and flicking the nipples beforw dropping to your clit, giving generous rubs to your slick, sweet bundle of nerves. “rafe, please, i'm gonna cum,” you moaned, and all he could do was continue, rubbing faster and harder as he continued to pound into you, balls tightening as your cunt gave his dick a sweet, hard squeeze.

he grunted, and looked up and through the window. he watched carefully, eyes scanning the lawn before stopping once the gaze had been returned. he stopped, a devious smirk playing on his face the minute he realized who was staring. the guy from earlier, the one who was so eager to get any kind of reaction from you. he stood there, alongside one of his friends, jaw hanging and eyes wide in pure shock. he gestured with his eyes toward your face, making sure he watched the way your face scrunched up in pure pleasure as he continued to fuck your pussy open. he made sure all of it was seen.

“right behind you, princess.”

[soo0hee]

Too Much

Pairing — Xu Minghao x Reader

Summary — Sometimes meditating is not enough to keep Minghaos temper at bay and sometimes he says things he doesn't mean...

Genre — angst, established relationship, idol!au

Warnings — argument, Hao is an idiot

Word Count — 0.8k

Rating — pg-13

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©soo0hee on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

Shocked and with your jaw on the floor you stared into Minghaos dark eyes.

You understood that with all of his busy schedules, he was tired when he came home and that all he wanted would be to relief some of his stress with a hot shower, a nice nap and maybe some cuddles. You understood all of it.

However what you didn’t understand was why he regularly would let out his frustrations on someone who had nothing to do with any of the causes he felt so tired, namely you.

It was a conversation that you had tried to have with him on multiple occasions, yet your boyfriend seemed to try and ignore the obvious elephant in the room and every single time you had let yourself be swayed into giving in.

“Can we not do this now? I promise we will talk about it in the morning.” Was what he would say, only to be gone by the time you woke up.

This time though, you were ready to insist on this conversation being held. You just couldn’t ignore it anymore!

You had a job too! A job that stressed you out too and being the on to receive his mood was beginning to weight heavily on your shoulders.

But now, after the screaming match you had just had, you weren’t quite sure if this was your best idea.

The words he had spat at you just seconds ago were ringing in your ears and you could feel the burn behind your eyes. Tears just waiting to be spilled.

“Stop annoying me with this every few day. Seriously, you’re being to much right now!”

You knew that he had surprised himself with his words, the look of shock and guilt clouding his face immediately after the they had left him, but you didn’t want to hear it.

You didn’t want to hear his excuse of why he had said it because it was obvious that while surprised, some part of him did think you were being to much.

For a second you were unsure if you even had the right to tell him this. Maybe you were being in the wrong here?

Your inner voice shook its head. No! You had just as much right to be treated like a human then he had!

“I-“ he tried to say but you held up your hand, the tears that had burned in your eyes now falling freely in silence.

“Don’t.”

You rushed away, letting those tears fall down your face as you locked the bedroom door behind you, preventing Minghao from getting inside.

You didn’t care if he had to sleep on the couch or what it would do to his back and neck. You didn’t give a fuck if he would be waking up in pain in the morning. And you didn’t want to know what kind of apologize he was trying to come up with.

He couldn’t make it better, at least not right now.

Curling together underneath your blanket, hiding away from the world while sobs spilled from your mouth you clutched your favorite pillow to your chest. It was drenched in Minghaos scent because he had the habit of sleeping on every inch of the bed he could reach. More tears fell.

Was this how he felt about you all this time? It would make sense with all the aggression thrown your way recently but why hadn’t he just broke it off if that was the case?

You were sure that it would have hurt less if he had…

Minghaos words kept repeating themselves in your head anytime you managed to calm down a little, only to send you back into a fit of tears.

Outside Minghao sat on the floor, quietly listening to your devastation with his head resting against the hard surface of the door.

He hadn’t meant to say such horrible things to you, especially since they weren’t even true. He had a temper, that much he knew but he had never lost it as much as he had earlier. Not with someone he loved so much that his heart was shattering just listening to you.

While the rest of his members knew how he could be and knew to leave him to cool down, you and him had never fought this much before.

“I’m so sorry love…” he whispered into the by now dark hallway.

The hours ticked by and the apartment fell silent. You had cried yourself to sleep and Minghao didn’t dare leave the door, wanting to stay as close as you let him be.

His ass was hurting by now and he wondered if you had locked the door or only pulled it shut…

He reached for the handle and carefully tried to pull it down, internally cheering when it opened with a silent -click-.

The sight greeting him was just as heartbreaking as your sobs had been. Your face was swollen and dried tear tracks still visible. Wanting to kick himself for being the cause of this, he knelt on the mattress next to your sleeping form.

He wasn’t sure how, but he would make sure that you knew how sorry he was and how much he loved you…

[maybeiwasjustjade]

This is the last time I’m gonna talk about this topic, mostly because it’s hiatus era and I would like to be able to write fics without outrightly bashing s2 Alicent, but I do think it needs to be said.

There’s nothing defendable in what Alicent did when she gave up her entire family on a silver platter for Rhaenyra.

So many takes about how we—the ones who found that scene abominable and abhorrent—misread the scene, or purposefully misinterpreted just to hate her; that what Alicent did was a good thing because it would have spared her entire family if only she let Aegon die. Giving up Criston and Gwayne’s location to be slaughtered (in what is most likely going to be Butcher’s Ball) wasn’t the intention; Alicent would never do that to her family and this was the only way to ensure survival en yada yada yada.

Yet the only person she said anything about saving was Helaena and Jaehaera, the latter of which is still continued to be dehumanized by no one referring to her as anything but ‘child’. Alicent put no thought towards Daeron—her innocent 16 year old son, who has done nothing—who was now joining a war that she started by declaring his brother king. Daeron, who’s flying alongside the Hightower army, in a war that will not end just because the Dowager Queen decided enough was enough. Who might die, and actually will die, before he ever sees his family again.

And even if she believes Rhaenyra executing Aegon would end the war (which it won’t), what made s2 Alicent think that the deaths would stop there?

A son for a son? Rhaenyra didn’t even remember that Jaehaerys had already been murdered for Luke. What made Alicent think that Rhaenyra would spare fucking Aemond of all people??? Aemond, who killed Luke and Rhaenys, who’s now Prince Regent because Aegon’s heir is dead? Who rides Vhagar, and would rather burn the world down than cleave to Rhaenyra? Who’s committed the majority of the crimes that make up Team Green? No, Aemond will have to die.

Daeron will have to die.

Jaehaerys, had he lived, would have to die anyway.

Maelor if he existed too.

Otto, Criston, Gwayne—all dead by virtue of being active participants and commanders in TG.

The only way Rhaenyra can claim that throne and ensure she can hold it is by eliminating the rival claimants, down to the youngest son.

That was something s1 Alicent knew, had raised her son on the belief they would die if their sister ascended, before the writers butchered her to a million pieces and left a caricature in her place. The claims go down son to son before it reaches daughters, which meant killing Aegon wouldn’t stop Rhaenyra’s troubles. She’d have to go after his sons and brothers too before the throne is legally hers.

There is no version of this story, where war has already started and a king crowned, that would end with little bloodshed beyond the death of said king.

In a different world, an argument could be made to spare some of them. If Rhaenyra had ascended untouched, then perhaps deals could’ve been made. Aegon would still have to die, I’d imagine. Take the Black at minimum, with Jaehaerys following in his footsteps as an adult or perhaps the Citadel. As long as Aegon’s line persisted, there would always be a chance of rebellion happening once Jace becomes king. So that whole line would have to be removed.

Aemond and Daeron would be less dangerous, but there would be little chance they’d be spared. The Black for Aemond, because I can’t see him agreeing to be a Kingsguard. Daeron would go to the Citadel without question. Jaehaera would either be married into the main line via Aegon III like in canon, or Rhaenyra would arrange for her to marry Jace to solidify his claim. He’d have a better claim through Jaehaera than Baela, after all.

And even then, that was still best case scenario. Worst case they’re all executed to protect Jace. Because Rhaenyra’s reign might somehow be mediocre and peaceful (really she has no makings of a great queen), but Jace’s will be a landmine. Between two legitimate brothers and no sisters to marry them to and trueborn cousins and uncles, Jace’s ascension was going to be a massive clusterfuck that would make the Dance look like a play.

[an-actual-attack-helicopter]

i can't get over this. i have to analyze it.

if ya didn't notice, uh...massive fucking parallel here. there is no way it wasn't on purpose bro. tdp loves to use parallels to make points to the audience.

then...what was the point here? well, it does illustrate that viren and aaravos are similar in that they are both fathers. aaravos even states that he understood viren's love for claudia because of his experience with leola.

so, i wonder if perhaps this parallel does not serve to make a point, but to pose a question to the audience: why would aaravos kill someone just like him? and why would he manipulate viren's daughter even though if someone did that to leola he would be furious? how can aaravos be so heartless, despite being able to relate so much to viren?

those are good questions, so much so that they are difficult to answer. it is hard to imagine someone having such a lack of shits to give about someone like themself. but i am going to try.

maybe aaravos suffers from a sort of tunnel-vision, for lack of a better term. ever since leola's passing, his entire purpose has been revenge. he doesn't care what happens, he just wants to show the cosmic council that they fucked around and found out.

BUT I HAVE A COUNTERPOINT FOR MYSELF: how the hell would someone who lives for so long to manage to avoid considering his impact on people like viren and claudia?

GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A COUNTERPOINT-COUNTERPOINT: that is honestly sometimes what trauma can do to you. i mean, it's a really extreme case but like. the depression just gets so bad that you just don't give a fuck about the world anymore. you are in too much pain yourself to care that you're hurting people. you choose to feel nothing over feeling your pain and still being a good person. i'm not justifying this by any means, btw. it's just how the ball rolls, sometimes. dont ask how i know all this lmfao

but all that is just my guess of what is going on inside his head. i think this is one of the few times that my history of depression actually gives my arguments more credibility lol

[bunnylovesani]

A Birthday Affair 2

Summary: Past midnight is when the real birthday celebrations start and the best gift you could’ve asked for is to get stuffed. Full of cake, of course. You just better hope Padme doesn’t wake up.

Content warnings: P in V sex, oral sex, cheating, generally immoral activity lmao

WC: 3.2k

“Would you stop whining about it already? Give me a fucking minute to put on my shoes and I’ll get you the stupid replacement.” Anakin yells in Padme’s direction, on his way to buy you another birthday cake after the last one went up in flames.

“It’s not for me, it’s for her!” She points at you and Anakin sighs, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah well, she doesn’t seem to be half as fussed about it as you are.” He grabs the keys by the door and throws on a navy blue baseball cap. “Be back in twenty.” He seems to say only to you and the act of defiance doesn’t go unnoticed by Padme.

“God, what a jerk. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately but he seems to be even more unbearable than usual.” She steps out onto the terrace of your shared apartment and you follow her. “You spend every day with us, tell me- has he said anything to you? You know, about us?”

You shuffle on your feet nervously and let out a huff. “No, nothing.” You decide to keep your lies simple and easy to follow.

“That’s even worse!” She whines. “He doesn’t mention me at all?”

“I didn’t say that.” You deflected nervously.

“So he does talk about me?” Noticing your hesitance, she puts her hand on your shoulder reassuringly. “Relax, you can tell me. You’re my best friend in the whole world, I’d never get mad at you for telling me the truth.”

“I got something that’d test that theory.” You think as you scratch the back of your head.

“Look Padme, I don’t know what to tell you- I mean he doesn’t talk badly about you, but he doesn’t mention you all that much either.”

She pauses for a moment and takes a step back, observing you closely.

“So what do you guys talk about then?” She shoots you a scrutinising glare.

“W-what?” You kick yourself for how suspicious you’re coming across.

“You heard me. We’ve been roommates for a good couple of months now.” She paces up and down the terrace. “When I’m at work and you two are alone, what do you talk about?”

“Oh, you know. The usual. Nothing special.” You reply honestly. Up until this evening, you hadn’t crossed any boundaries with Anakin- unless you count your fantasies. In which case you’d crossed them multiple times in multiple different positions.

She looks at you with narrowed eyes, processing your response for a moment before she releases a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been feeling a little paranoid recently.” She slumps down onto a plump deck chair and breathes in the cold night air. “He seems distant, like he’s not really here with me, you know?” You take a seat beside her, not sure whether it would be more morally reprehensible to comfort her or to change the subject.

“I don’t know Padme, it’s between you guys- I don’t wanna get involved.” You hear the irony in your words as soon as they leave your lips.

“Of course, ‘m sorry for being such a downer- and on the eve of your birthday too! I’m gonna throw you the biggest rager tomorrow, I’ve invited so many cute guys - just for you.” She rambles excitedly and you bite your lip in guilt.

A short while later, Anakin comes home to a very lukewarm reception from Padme, who complains that the cake he bought isn’t good enough- it wasn’t the right size, the right flavour or the right colour. You thought it was perfectly fine.

After a brief but heated argument, Padme decides to call it a night and retreats into her bedroom down the hall.

“I’m sorry about her.” Anakin whispers, treading lightly over to you. “She’s acting even more insufferable than I’m used to.”

“Funny, she said the same thing about you earlier.” You smile, knees feeling weak when he returns it with his own twinkling grin.

“I can’t wait until it’s you I get to go to bed with, not her.” He speaks softly, reaching up to brush his knuckles against your cheek.

“Me neither, but we can’t do things like that anymore. Not until you deal with Padme.” You vowed, looking over his shoulder.

“I know, I know, I’ll deal with that soon-“

“Anakin! Come to bed!” Padme interjects with a high-pitched and entirely repellant screech.

He rolls his eyes so far back into his head you wonder if they’ll ever come out again.

“I’m coming!” He yells, throwing his arms into the air with a measure of agitation you’d never seen before.

“I gotta go, angel. I’ll see you in the morning yeah? My pretty birthday girl.” He grabs your chin lightly before planting a peck on your forehead and retreating into the bedroom with an indignant sigh.

You stayed up for a little while longer, deciding to tidy the mess of pillows and plushies strewn along your bed. As you readjusted your teddies, you let out a dreamy moan at the memory of your romp earlier this evening. You snake your hand between your thighs as you sit down, feeling deliciously sore- head spinning with the reminder of how right it felt to have him buried inside you. Only being granted the pleasure of having him once wasn’t anywhere near enough- you felt like you were going through withdrawal, unable to form a single thought that wasn’t about him.

Resigning yourself to a long sleepless night, you slipped your most expensive silk nightie on and crawled under the covers. Glancing over to the clock on your nightstand, you saw that it was 1 minute past midnight- officially your birthday. You wondered if Ani got you anything nice, focusing on hypothetical presents rather than allowing your guilty conscience to creep in.

Speaking of creeping in, you hear the door knob squeak with a careful twist and a festive pyjama-clad Anakin enters your room.

“Ani! What are you doing here?” You whisper, motioning to securely close the door shut.

“Sorry, I couldn’t wait- just had to come see you. Happy birthday, baby.” He hands you a charming white gift box wrapped tightly in a pink silk bow, his large palm making it look tiny.

“Can I join you for a minute?” He gestures towards your bed and you’re torn.

“Oh Ani, you shouldn’t have. I-I don’t know, what if she catches us?” You try to reason but your attention has been stolen by the pretty box, which you eagerly pluck out of his hand.

“She’s out cold.” He perches at the foot of your bed. “You hear that? Sounds like a grizzly bear operating a chainsaw.”

You giggle at his words and peel back your covers, inviting him to lay beside you.

“Or a congested walrus.” You add.

“Driving a bulldozer.”

“Well now you’re just exaggerating.” You laugh into your pillow while Anakin shushes you, playfully hitting you with your teddy.

Clutching the box as you untie the delicate ribbon, you pull out a polished gold necklace with a satiny heart pendant- engraved with the letter A.

“Ani, I love it! But-“

“I bought this a week ago.” He interrupts. “My heart belonged to you long before you gave me your body. I want you to wear it and the next time I see Padme, I’ll tell her everything.”

“Really? The next time?” You ask incredulously. You’d expected this to drag on for a lot longer.

“First thing in the morning, angel.” He reassured you soothingly and you melted into his arms.

“Okay, help me put it on.” You tittered excitedly as he clipped the necklace in place, the delicate pendant lingering over your collarbones.

“Thank you. It’s perfect.” You held it in your hand and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Pulling away slightly, you darted between his dreamy eyes and his parted mouth, trying to resist temptation.

Before you could give in first, Anakin gripped your jaw with his hands, pulling you in impossibly close to kiss you deeply. You sucked on his tongue, moaning at the subtle taste of vanilla cake frosting and minty toothpaste.

“No, wait. We shouldn’t.” You proclaim breathily, though you know your empty words were nothing but a pitiful attempt at making you feel like you’d at least tried to abstain.

“Then why does it feel so right?” He silences you by pressing his lips against yours once more, all resistance fading away under his gentle touch.

You squirm under his weight as he climbs on top of you, kissing and sucking his way down to your thighs, which he pins open until the sides of your knees are lying firmly against the bed.

“Can I taste you, sweetheart?” He asks in a hushed tone, rubbing his thumbs against your soft skin.

You nod in response, hoping that on some level not speaking would make this whole thing less sinful. Anakin doesn’t press you for a verbal response, taking no time at all before he pulls your panties off and delves his tongue into your pussy. Your hand flies over your mouth as you slip out a breathy moan, the warm feeling of his mouth enveloping your clit overwhelming you. His nails dig into your fleshy hips and his grip around your thighs strengthens- swollen veins protruding through his forearms as the adrenaline courses through his blood.

You whimper into your heart-shaped pillow, gnawing at the frills as you feel the tip of Ani’s tongue working circles into your sensitive bud.

“You taste so good, baby.” He raises his head and you take in the sight before you: lips parted, wetness dribbling down his mouth and half-lidded eyes glaring at you lustily. “I can’t wait angel, ‘m sorry.” He mumbles, getting on his knees and dragging you down by the legs. He doesn’t bother removing his plaid pyjama bottoms, simply pulling them down and letting his cock spring up over the waistband, achingly hard. You can practically see it throbbing, the tip a glistening dark pink.

“Can I? Please, baby.” He whines, rubbing his tip along your soaked folds. You nod once again but he seems unsatisfied.

“Talk.” He demands simply. “It still counts as fucking even if you didn’t say a word.”

You frown at him, not appreciating how he just burst your bubble.

“Fine.” You huff and he raises an eyebrow.

“Are you giving me attitude?” He comes closer, tip kissing your entrance. “‘cus now would be the wrong time to do that.” He hisses and slides right in, filling you up all at once and giving you no time to adjust to his size. You mewl and writhe beneath him, gripping the sheets as he puts all his body weight on you and covers his hand firmly over your mouth.

“Do you want her to hear us? Shut up and take it.” He spits venomously as he gives you deep and slow thrusts, his cock reaching all the way up to your guts. You moan helplessly as he holds you in a near headlock, silenced with his strong arms and legs pinned wide open to make way for him. Your legs tremble as your pussy greedily accepts his length, squeezing it with its plush walls.

“Slutty little pussy, ’s gripping me so tight.” He grins against your neck. You’re not sure what it was about sex that brought out such a dominant and mean side to Anakin- but you weren’t complaining. The sound of arousal filled the room, your wet slickness gushing against him as his balls slapped against your ass. Hearing the lewd sounds, he slowed down a little, cautiously guiding his cock into you in such a way that would elicit the least amount of noise.

Just as you fell into an entrancingly good rhythm, a knock was heard at the door.

“Hey, you sleeping? Anakin’s gone somewhere.” Padme’s sleepy voice reverberates through the door.

You look to Anakin for guidance with an expression of panic but he looks completely calm- doing nothing besides slowly removing his hand away from your mouth, still sheathed in you. You consider not replying and pretending you’re asleep but quickly realise the light of the lamp shining under your doorway is a dead giveaway.

“Um, I’ve just gone to sleep now.” You answered with bated breath, wondering why Anakin hadn’t pulled out yet. “Has he really? Dunno where he could’ve gone.”

As if this exchange wasn’t challenging enough, Anakin begins fucking into you again, a wild smirk plastered on his face as he thrusts in and out.

“Ugh can I come in?” She whines, no doubt wanting to rant about her failing relationship. The hunk on top of you reaches down and starts rubbing your clit, staring into you with great amusement as you unsuccessfully attempt to bat him off.

“Uh- um, no Padme I’m sleeping, ah we’ll talk tomorrow!” You tremble, hoping your words didn’t come out too shaky.

“What are you doing in there? Are you okay?” Suddenly the door swings wide open and Padme walks in on the sight of her boyfriend on top of her best friend. You only catch a glimpse of her face for a moment- a screwed up expression of horror and disgust- before she turns around and reaches for the vase on top of your chest of drawers. Anticipating her reaction, Anakin towers over you protectively as Padme hurls the glass vase in your direction- the water spraying over you both as it flies over the bed, smashing into a million tiny pieces against the wall.

“You fucking whore!” She screams. “And you! You jerk! How could you fuck my best friend?!” Anakin throws an unphased glance her way for a moment before turning his gaze towards you, brushing his hand against your face gently and locking your lips in a soft kiss. The look of adoration he gives you, ignoring Padme completely, reassures you that you are the only one worth his attention.

“Oh, I’m gonna be fucking sick.” She splutters as she walks out of the room, slamming the door shut and mumbling curses to herself.

“Ani, get off! I need to go talk to-“

“You don’t need to do anything other than be in this moment right now, with me.” He pins you down by the wrists and glares at you, pushing in until the very base of his cock is flush against you. You want to fight him, to get up and chase after your friend but the pleasure has made your legs numb.

“You can leave when I’ve made you cum.” He rasps, resuming his heavy thrusts and you can’t do anything other than cry out his name- no point being quiet now that she knows, right?

“That’s it baby, let everyone know who you belong to.” He moans, brows upturning and mouth parted. He looked so pretty like this, damp curls brushing against his forehead and plump lips formed into an inviting o shape. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your throat ran dry as you felt the tip of his smooth cock gliding roughly against that spot that drove you crazy.

“Fuck Ani, ‘m gonna -“ The words flew out your mouth as your release took you by surprise, seizing your whole body in ecstasy and eliciting a torrent of guttural moans from your pretty lips. He buried his face into your chest, groaning against your bare tits as he joined you in cumming, painting your walls with his seed.

Ani was nothing if not a man of his word- so he rolled off you straight after, freeing you to leave.

“I would advise against what you’re about to do.” He speaks calmly, covering his lower half in your sheets and stretching his toned arms out before placing them beneath his head.

You ignore his comment, throwing on a bathrobe and leaving the room to see Padme- furiously stuffing articles of clothing into various bags. A nauseating fear overcomes you when you realise you have nothing to say to her.

“Don’t.” She snaps, noticing your lingering presence. “Don’t even come near me. You are dead to me.” You twiddle your thumbs standing in the doorway of her room, not sure what you were expecting.

“I’m sorry Padme, I really am. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” You mumble, barely above a whisper.

“You didn’t mean to slip and fall on his cock?” She has angry tears pouring frantically down her round face. “That doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that happens by accident.

“I meant I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You clarify gently.

“Well, you did. Oh my God, I can see his cum pouring down your leg.” She points in disgust and you cross your legs. “Is that what I saw earlier? I thought you spilt water or something, God I’m so stupid.”

“No, you’re not, this is all-“

“You’re right. This is all your fault, you dumb fucking slut. You’re nothing but a brainless whore.”

“That’s enough.” Anakin emerges, dressed in nothing but his boxers, a thin veil of glowing sweat coating his toned abdomen. “This was all my fault. If you have anything to say, you say it to me.” You cower behind him, thankful for his protective presence.

“Oh, I have plenty to say.” She barges past you both, carrying her bags out into the hallway. “A year’s relationship thrown away for a quick fuck. With that skank.”

“Don’t call her that.” He gruffly responds and you can’t help but think he’s being harsh.

“Spare me. What are you, her guard dog?” She scoffs, tears dried and replaced with a scornful bitterness. “You’re going to regret this. When the novelty wears off and you realise she means nothing to you, you’re going to come crawling back.”

“That’s highly unlikely.” He looks unperturbed, amused even - strangely nonchalant over the dramatic events unfurling before him.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” She jibes, throwing her coat on and getting ready to launch another venomous attack your way when she’s interrupted.

“I love her.” Anakin states simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“You what?” Padme stops dead in her tracks, looking aghast.

“You what?” You parrot softly and he turns to face you, tenderly taking your face into his gentle hands.

“I love you.” He repeats, not an ounce of shame or regret in his words.

“I-I love you too, Ani.” You grab onto his wrists and gaze into his eyes with an adoring vulnerability.

“Rot in hell, you crazy motherfuckers.” Padme peels her eyes off the appalling sight before her, grabbing her bags and leaving the apartment with a thunderous slam of the bolted door.

You watch her leave with a troubled countenance painted across your face- but Ani never takes his eyes off you.

“I guess it’s just us now.” He smiles peacefully and you feel all your worries melt away.

“I guess it is.” You smile back, wrapping your arms around his strong neck and joining your lips in a passionate, cathartic kiss.

It’s not that you didn’t like Padme, nor that you were the kind of woman to choose a man over her friends. It was just him. You couldn’t help it- from this day forward you knew you would always pick Ani over anything else in this universe. Without a shadow of a doubt, he was your soulmate.

@crazy4hotmen @erinkeifer @mortalheartache @arzua10 @mugwump327

Part 1 here