#Imagine Chris Mclean

[azazelblake]

Imagine Chris Mclean calling you his number one favorite and praising you for making the campers suffer because you share his mayhem which he loves.

[sick-puppy-island]

Party🍾🍸

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama Psycho Noah AU, after the 'London Adventure' and the truth being revealed, Chris then decides to make this a reward challenge... The reward is that EVERYONE gets to be in First Class, with NOAH... Chris and Noah are curious to see, who will be brave enough to actually enter First Class, after learning about Noah's insanity... How would Courtney + Gwen + Duncan reacts to seeing the video of Noah's insane side showing? 😈 Would Alejandro and Noah still be friends? 😈

Listen, as much as this idea is so fucking funny to me, I really don't think it'd work from a storytelling perspective.

Though (not to push any agendas here, but-) if Chris were to hypothetically have the remaining contestants go against Noah in an enclosed space, in a sort of predator-vs-prey scenario, it'd probably play out something like The Beast chapter in Slay The Princess... without the "eating them alive" aspect, of course.

(Heavy Content Warning for that link, by the way. There's a lot of violence/gore/body horror, among other stuff, by virtue of it being a horror game.)

Maybe he'd lock everyone in the First Class cabin and turn off all of the room's electronics, so the only source of light in the cabin would be the wavering moonlight from whatever tiny windows are dotted around. Noah would use the cover of darkness to his advantage and toy with his competitors in a similar vein to how the Ripper had in their challenge that day, darting silently through the shadows to 'capture' his castmates, picking them off one by one.

It'd be a fun game of cat-and-mouse for Noah. For the others? It'd be a living nightmare. They wouldn't have the luxury of knowing that Noah wouldn't really hurt them, and the bloodlust they'd seen on that screen would be terrifying to watch but downright petrifying to experience first hand. They would be genuinely fearing for their lives, in a way that Chris hadn't been able to prompt since the early days of Island, and the host would love it.

Not that he would do that. And not that Noah would actually attack anyone either. (Without reason to, of course.)

But you are right about one thing; if this AU were to become a fully-fledged story, the London challenge would have to be a reward, just to keep Noah in the competition. Because he literally snapped Zeke's arms like chopsticks- his team would vote him out in a heartbeat just by virtue of him being so dangerous.

Which means the whole of Team Chris (plus Duncan) would be sharing a poorly-lit, structurally unsound cabin with someone they're terrified of.

...Owen notwithstanding, since Owen's a sweetheart and he knows Noah.

But the others would be immediately on guard around him. Noah, knowing there's no reason to keep up his ruse of sarcastic apathy, would probably relish in their fear- he enjoys tormenting people, after all, especially when that torment is purely psychological. So he'd carry on playing the 'unhinged, bloodthirsty sociopath' just to watch the others squirm.

He'd probably make a huge show of still having the Ripper's knife, tucked safely in the sleeve of his white undershirt, and comment that he and Duncan could be 'knife buddies' or something. If only to see how the punk's pierced face would drain of all colour at the prospect of Noah having a sharp object. (Duncan would absently rub at the puncture scars on his hand, to Noah's delight.)

But it'd eventually get boring, I imagine, so Noah would do something to reassure his teammates that he's not some ethics-devoid monster hellbent on destruction. Because having your teammates be in a state of constant paranoia around you would get annoying after a while, and it'd impact their performance in the competition (which Noah isn't really all that concerned with, but Owen is, so Noah doesn't want to do anything to jeopardise their chances of winning challenges).

So he'd drop the exaggeration of his more violent traits, and intentionally show off the unharmful aspects of himself- namely by koala-clinging to Owen and acting 'normally' like they'd done before the London challenge, and/or by approaching Tyler to ask how he was feeling after being stretched on the rack and sheepishly apologise for leaving him behind (showing empathy and remorse, to humanise himself n front of his teammates).

He's insane, not heartless.

As for Alejandro...? I have no idea. Would he even want to risk approaching Noah to find out if their shared comradery was all a ruse? Would whatever tentative trust he had in Noah be completely shattered by the reveal? Or would he be so engulfed by his need to win the competition that he only views this new development as a boon, since now Noah can be more of a physical asset for their team?

It'd probably be a mix of all of these. Alejandro would be left off-footed by the reveal of p!Noah's 'true self' (however much of his 'true self' he's willing to show to others) but I imagine he'd be quick to ally himself with the guy who can break bones like they're chalk and deceive a whole cast of people for two and a half seasons, regardless of any personal misgivings.

[marshmellowtea]

giving into my baser instincts and impulsively creating an au where noah is chris's ten year old, chubby cheeked adopted son who follows him around during total drama and helps him torture their teenage contestants (much to chris's pride and joy <3)

[ali-doesrandomthings]

Imagine if they met

[chris-mc-dirty]

I love how you draw Chris, he´s like a little puppy!!! X3 💖💖💗💘💝

C: "Me? A puppy? Nah. Maybe in some other universe."

Meanwhile, in some other universe..:

[madeofvoid]

Y'all can we please stop with the moral high ground thing about the israel/palestine shit? Like holy fuck no matter who you support you're going to be biting a good thousand or so lives in one bullet. The issue here isn't that we should tear ourselves apart trying to root out what side is what and what celebrity is one brand of anti-Semite vs the other. (Because newsflash, Both Judaism and Islam are Semitic, sorry) The issue is that a lot of us here in the west here raising a funk about this on opposite sides could all be calling for an end to the violence instead. I don't care whatever figurehead there is spouting shit while never setting foot onto an active warzone has to say! Fuck the he-said she-said! We have to say "No."

WE ALL HAVE THE OPTION TO SAY NO!

Once we're all done screaming, we can work out what the root cause of the problem is and work to fix it. But again,

Step 1:

FUCKING STOP

We can work out the rest when we're not filling our fellow man with lead and explosives of both the improvised and plastic varieties.

[chrismcleanheritageposts]

I wish that Trent died when Lindsey cooked him that fugu fish. That would have been awesome

[azazelblake]

Imagine Derek and Chris Mclean meeting each other and becoming friends.

[sick-puppy-island]

Don’t you ever wanna just….

[btnclmrttn]

would u ever write that Chris McLean smut…,

(thanks for the ask! yeah bro I did write it but I was so late finishing that I let it gather dust. This is the exact prompt used with some clean up. If you want anything specific just let me know!)

(18+!Boss/employee, powersub! Chris, degrading, masterbation)

~~~~

When you signed up to work for one of the most trending reality shows in Canada, never would you have imagined how much of an ass the host was. Not stuck up or posh like the usual rich and self centered kind. Instead, that screen time act of childish games was applicable to everyone under the sun.

Chris seemed to go around and "test" people and their patience with shenanigans. He has his favorites of course. Some he's nicer to. You, however? He always has a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he goes out of his way to be the biggest minor inconvinience to you.

But how you went off on him without a worry of your employment made you his favorite. Made him strike an offer with you. Just a little extra "work" for you, in exchange for quite the raise...

~~~~

Chris’ eyes scan your relaxed demeanor in front of him, you sit in a chair with your legs cross and an unamused expression. Contrast to his own smug look.

'I don’t understand how you’re not ashamed of yourself,” you scoff.

"Nice to see you too," Chris snorts, with hands not shy of roaming to the crotch of his pants, slowly rubbing the already protruding area, "Don't you look nice..."

“You disgust me,” you continue, “I’ve never met a man as nasty as you are.”

“You’re so fuckin’ mean,” he cackles, “Keep it comin’!”

While you, on the other hand, don’t have much of a problem doing this as much as you probably should. You get paid extra money to fulfill your prick boss’ fetish, all while just speaking what’s on your mind about him. 

You can tolerate the display of him getting himself off to you, with his shirt unbuttoned almost all the way, dripping sweat down its flushed complexion. As long as you remember why you can't stand him.

“Do you ever think to yourself how perverted it is to get off to being called lousy? How many workers do you need to remind you of how much of a loser you are?”

“Oh, you’re just something special,” he says. He uses his foot to pull your chair closer to him, a bit crooked, as he unbuttons his pants.

“No touching,” you growl, straightening your chair again and backing up a little.

“I’m not touching you,” he mocks.

You give him a dirty look as a shit eating grin takes on his face. His dick springs up upon losing the restraint of is pants and is pulled over the hem of his boxers. The paled tip is smeared in his precum, spread across his length when his hand twists over it in a sloppy pump of his wrist.

“You really like looking at it, don’t you?”

Chris caught you staring too much. Much to his pleasure.

“Isn’t much to look at,” you say as you look back up.

Like he deserves the satisfaction of your attention.

“I think you do enjoy this as much as I do...”

“Pathetic is a great look on you!” You say with fake enthusiasm, “Fucking slut.”

“Yeah?” He sighs, his hips rolling into his hand.

“Really? You like that? Slut?” 

Chris’ face flushes a deeper red as he shudders at your taunting, his hand pumping his cock just a bit more.

“You’re a sick fucking man.”

“Mm-hmm...”

You watch as his eyes flutter shut while his head tips back as he starts to loose himself in his own pleasure. All just from your simple words.

“You’re pathetic, aren’t you?”

What if you play the part more?

“Oh, yes…”

“Say it, then”

He starts to twist his wrist a little faster. “I’m pathetic…I’mma whore…”

“Come on,” you instigate.

“I’m so pathetic,” he starts chuckling again, looking back down toward you. Strands of his hair stick to his face, “I’m so pathetic for you…come on, ___, I could make you feel so good if you let me…”

“With that little thing?” You’re quick speak without hesitation. The second thought following silently.

“Don’t give me that,” he laughs, “I’m average!”

The way his moans weave in so nicely with his laughter is undoubtedly getting you a little. You hold your breath enough to not crack a sound. This bastard and his charisma is no joke.

“I have my doubts, if your laziness goes as far as your usual hosting.”

“Aw, low blow,” Chris laughs even more, “What about if you touched yourself?”

You raise a brow, deciding to tease him by uncrossing your legs. “Touch myself?”

An excitement spreads on his face when his eyes jump to between your legs, "Please…?”

“You think you’re worth even seeing me like that?” you sneer.

He bites his bottom lip as he stares directly at your crotch, “Why not? You’d look so good touching…yourself..."

His hand starts pumping faster as his imagination florishes at the idea. The sound of smacking skin growing louder.

“Please, ___?” Chris asks again, whines creeping in.

“Why should I?”

“I can beg, I can beg...You know I can beg real nice.”

"I don't think you deserve that."

"P-Please, ____?"

He's panting like a dog.

"I don't even think you deserve to cum. Matter of fact, stop.”

Chris looks at you, surprised, as you’ve yet to ever give him an actual order like this, “H-huh?”

“Stop,” you repeat yourself, “Now.”

His whine from the denied access grows into laughter as a smile spreads across his face

"Oh, fuck, ____. You drive me insane…"

Standing from your seat, your hand undoes the button of your jeans as you close the little distance between each other. His expression flashes to a plesanly surprised while red spreads across his face and neck.

“Oh?”

“Start begging, Chris.”

“...oh…”

[tdinyomomma]

Ok it got like 20 minutes when I’m posting this but Heather is the winner yall! It is now declared a Heather x Reader Story!!!!

I will say I want to do other stories of you with other characters. I will be doing a World Tour where it is you with Cody.

I will also be doing Season two TDA of you with Gwen.

I might continue on with this story onto the next seasons but that depends tbh.

If you guys want to see anybody else I can always do an imagine with them:)

I will have the other stories out maybe by tomorrow or later in the week because I was better being sick and some how I got bronchitis like I always do when I get sick and a bitch is having trouble breathing. I’m also asthmatic so we got a lot going on✊😭

So I forgot that Cody gets kicked off in episode nine😭 sooooooo we’re doing a revote because unfortunately I’m not gonna have the reader get with someone who gets kicked off so early. I want reader to go through most of the show with someone if that makes sense. Also only two options because those are the only two I really want to write for rn🫶

[kookidough]

sierra is sooooo complicated to me like. i could go on about her for so long & also i wish the writers did certain things with her character (which i will get into later in this rant) so ya here we go

firstly her childhood is . very clearly messed up?? it’s established that her mother is Ultra Obsessed with chris and i think sierra mentions being a 3rd generation chris mclean scholar at one point which implies that obsession just runs in the family atp😭 before even going on the show she’s grown up in an environment where this level of obsession is Normal so she doesn’t see anything wrong with turning out the same way

since her mother is like . obsessed with chris & stuff that’s probably what would bring sierra to watching total drama in the first place and i personally feel like she’d fixate on it because it was a group of teenagers her age, people she would like to be friends with if that makes sense? i can imagine she’d be a pretty odd child without many friends so that’d maybe be a reason for her to latch onto total drama, maybe why she latched onto cody too because like. she thinks he’s cute and they have things in common (like theyre both pretty geeky) so she gets pretty parasocial about it because, as mentioned before, her mum being obsessed with chris is just Normal to sierra so she thinks it’s normal for her to be obsessed with cody (spoiler alert girl: it’s really not)

while she’s on the show i feel like she doesn’t change / gets worse because chris sees her exhibiting Mental Illness and just… actively encourages her behaviour? and the other contestants do nothing to stop it, like how most of the time (e.g. paris) team amazon get mad at cody for sierra’s behaviour instead of helping him out for some reason??? no one tells sierra her behaviour is wrong so she just. Continues to get worse until shes out of the competition😭

this is where im gna interrupt with a canon divergence because like . personally i think in the episode where votes were revealed and cody was revealed to have voted sierra Every Single Time, sierra shouldve gotten over him!!!! it was the harsh truth she needed to hear, the dose of reality that cody is NOT interested in her and she needs to move on. she couldve had good character development, building her relationships with other characters and showing off her skills. maybe she’d still be eliminated in drumheller because she made cody that birthday cake as an apology and then kaboom or whatever idk just some way to keep her elimination the same

going down this train could’ve made her character in all stars Actually Interesting ! we couldve seen a side of sierra that kept some of her old eccentric vibes but had her head in the game this time instead of being focused on a boy, especially since cody isnt even in that season

and of course lastly i just wanna say i’m not excusing her weird actions or her creepiness at all, she has some Extreme Flaws and all the stuff she did was absolutely not okay, i just like rotting and seeing maybe why she acted the way she did and i wanted to drop my own two cents on interesting avenues her character couldve went down :3 i know everyone in td is some form of stereotype and sierra was an obsessive uberfan but she couldve still been that after getting over cody, in fact im disappointed that she knew SO much about the cast yet didnt use any of their weaknesses to her own advantage, she couldve dominated the competition😭

so uhhh yeah thats my thoughts on sierra, i probably over-read her to filth but shes very complex to me and i wish certain aspects of her character were done differently, she had a lot of potential especially in all stars but um Everyone had their potential destroyed in all stars so i’ll overlook that

[total-drama-brainrot]

Island Assistant Noah AU, Noah stays Chris' Assistant all throughout Island + Action + World Tour... How would this version of Assistant Noah react to Alejandro's flirting?... Would Alejandro be amused, when he later learns that Noah got himself eliminated ON PURPOSE in Season 1, and Noah became 'Chris Mclean's Assistant' as a punishment? 😎

Well, honestly I imagine most versions of Noah would react to flirting with the same level of scepticism and mistrust- he's not exactly a catch, and he's aware of the fact. Having someone as conventionally attractive and evidently conniving as Alejandro display interest in someone as not those things as Noah is would be a major warning flag for anyone with any semblance of sense.

Of course, Alejandro's interest was initially a ploy to try and weasel out information from Chris' personal assistant- someone who's high enough in the pecking order of internship to at least have some rudimentary knowledge on the oncoming challenges, but unimportant enough to fly under the radar when it comes to helping the competitors- but after Noah's initial refusal, Alejandro finds himself genuinely interested in him, at least in the same curious way a scientist regards an outlying factor in their studies. Mostly because Alejandro's very much so not used to being spurned, so Noah's blatant dislike of him is enough to fuel his curiosity (similarly to how Heather's hostility to him piqued Alejandro's interest in canon).

So he goes out of his way to bother Noah at any given opportunity. Not that it's hard; due to Noah's job he's practically always somewhere on the jet, since it'd be pretty hard to, you know, personally assist someone without being in their vicinity. Noah's disgruntlement with the constant flirting isn't quite enough to warrant him putting in the effort to avoid Alejandro, however, so the two of them consequently end up spending a lot of time together. Most of which is Alejandro trying and failing to fluster Noah, or otherwise pry competition-valuable information from him. Or, as their conversations become more frequent, he tries to get Noah to disclose something about himself that isn't already apparent- to very little success. Alejandro does find out that Noah's oddly touchy about his position as Chris' PA, though, and stores away that little tid bit of information to exploit later.

Alejandro inevitably finds himself almost enamoured by Noah's caginess and his dry wit. He's surprised to find that he actually enjoys Noah's company, even when it doesn't offer him any of the advantages he initially sought out the assistant for, which is such a novel concept for him. So of course he resolves to spend more time around Noah, to try and figure out what this feeling is, and if it'll affect his stance in the competition- not at all because he wants to spend more time around the cynic, obviously.

And he inevitably becomes more and more comfortable around Noah's stoic bluntness, so much so that he starts showing hints of his true colours around Noah. To the point where the bookworm's initial distaste for Alejandro begins to thaw under the warmth of his actual personality, instead of the coldness of his "perfect Burromuerto" mask. (This is the part where mutual feelings begin to blossom, if you couldn't tell.)

Alejandro ends up spending more time with the off-screen assistant than he does with the entirety of his actual team, which grates on the producer's nerves since they don't have a lot of non-challenge footage of their main antagonist (outside of his frequent use of the confessional, that is). So, he's asked to spend less time around Know-it-all Noah and more time around his actual team, so they have some footage to work with, as Noah's PA contract prevents them from using "unnecessary footage" of him on the show; since he doesn't interact with anyone during challenges or plot-relevant moments, the editors are practically forbidden from using any of the footage Noah is in. Alejandro reluctantly complies.

And it's during this enforced bonding time with his team that the topic of Noah comes up. Owen's the one who initially comments about Alejandro spending a lot of him with his "little buddy", which absolutely doesn't (does) spark an ember of possessive jealousy within Alejandro, prompting him to ask how Owen's so familiar with Noah if he's not even supposed to interact with the contestants. Owen reveals that Noah was a contestant, at least for a little bit, before he was eliminated early in Island.

Alejandro's interest in Noah and the mysteries around him skyrockets. As a former contestant and, apparently, someone who's familiar with pretty much all of his competitors, Noah has even more potential to supply him with valuable information that would assist him in winning the million. He later chases down the cynic and confronts him about his extremely limited time on the Island, to which Noah is initially evasive about, before he- in a ticked off outburst, since Alejandro just won't drop the subject- admits that he got himself eliminated on purpose and working as Chris' PA is pretty much just his punishment for doing so.

And Alejandro's curiosity turns into confusion. Why would Noah intentionally have himself eliminated from the competition when a million dollars is on the line? Noah quickly corrects him that, in the first season, the prize money was a measly 100k, and then proceeds to explain exactly why and how he got himself booted from Camp Wawanakwa- Alejandro watches the annoyance on Noah's face gradually soften out into a smug sort of pride as he recalls his past endeavours. Then that pride is quickly wiped away by a bitter sourness as Noah recounts how his stunt essentially trapped him under the employment of Total Drama, namely Chris McLean.

But Alejandro's still caught up in the glimpse he got of Noah's scheming potential. The glee he saw in the other's eyes as he explained how easy it was to rile up his former teammates enough to vote him from the island, how just a few carefully worded comments were all it took to grant Noah an extended vacation at a five star resort.

Dots are connected; Alejandro suddenly understands why Noah's so resistant to his manipulative efforts, why Noah always seemed to clock exactly what he was attempting to do and shut it down with cold indifference or a snarky comment. The pessimist before him was his equal, at least in terms of strategy. Though how he applied his trickster mindset was a little unconventional. The archvillain is more than intrigued by now, he's utterly smitten... with the idea of having Noah as his "right hand man". Nothing more.

Alejandro's left to wonder just how much more he could accomplish within the confines of the jet if he had Noah's brilliant mind assisting him in his schemes.

[dozing-marshmallow]

Okey, hear me out.

Chris Mclean with a wife that is just THICC. Like she Has a bit of a chubby tummy with big thights, chest, behind etc.

She Has them amazing curves AND also is really sweet and caring towards everyone. You just look at her and you think "How the hell did Chris git with her?" And when you meet her you'r even more confused. Idk I just Imagine Chris be the kind of dude to find any excuse to ley his head on you cuz you just so comfortable and soft <33 and when you fell backpains cuz of you'r breasts he hires the best massagers[or just does it himself ;)]

If you'r uncomfortable its ok. But just let me know then so I don't wait like an idiot.

I hope you'll have a lovely day!

(sorry for aby gramer or spelling errors, English is not my first lenguage)

👀 pixar mom reader confirmed?? I’ll be for real, this was a lot of fun to write, and don’t worry about grammar mistakes! Thank you for the request and may you all enjoy and have a lovely day too~

CHRIS MCLEAN X “THICC”! WIFE! READER HEADCANONS

No one could deny how attractive you were.

Your own husband couldn’t resist you for more than half a day.

“Chriiis, what are you doing?” a question that often left your mouth imbued a different answer each time from Chris.

“You’re comfy, (Y/N).” his usually loud voice blocked by his face sinking as far as he could into your covered cleavage.

"Aren’t you honest!" you gently nudge his head,"But we have an episode to get to in two minutes, so if you just wanna...” you step back, forcing Chris into solitary.

He huffs, before getting an amazing idea- he puts his hand over his eyes,“Oh no! I can’t see where I’m going! Is this...” he zombie walks towards you and readjusts his head back on the natural pillow of your chest before you could properly make a run for it,“I made it to bed! Alright, I’m gonna stay right here until I regain my sight!”

“Chris!” you squall, finding displeasure that he wasn't taking you seriously and wasn't getting off so easily this time, with the hand he used to blind himself now tightened around you,“Come onn, there’ll be plenty of time to do this after we shoot the episode!”

“Just five more minutes, please (Y/N)!”

Not on days like that, albeit you do dress up in a bunny fit for him.

“You know I’m very fertile, Chris.” you press yourself up against him enticingly on his lap,“As fertile as a bunny rabbit can be.”

“I can tell.” his voice sounded composed, but his face was crazy red,“Can never get enough of your legs though. You know that you could choke someone with just one thigh, right?”

My, that sounds dangerous!,“Oh dear... I’m not that heavy, am I?”

“Never! It’s like I always say... Everything about you is awesome. Everything. From the top of your head to the core of your skeleton.”

“Well, that’s relieving...” You feel his hand exploring about on your round back,“How do you like these fishnets? Wore them just for you.”

His hands then squeeze through the space between under your thighs and the top of his lap, masking his extreme prurience with his dismissive,“Duh. Who else would you wear them for?”

With the contestants, you’re very friendly to them.

Like once beginning with brushing Lindsay’s hair,“Lindsay, you have such beautiful hair."

The “dumb princess” giggles,“I knoww! It’s the prettiest bare here!”

From the wide distance in which Chris stood from, he snaps a photo of you tending to Lindsay with his camera,“Aww!”

Seeing that strengthened Cody’s confidence to approach the hot host,“Hey Chris... I need to ask you advice on something.”

“Sure thing dude, what’s up?” Chris grinned, not taking his eyes off his camera.

“It’s..." the geek takes a breath,"How do you get girls?”

“You say exactly what’s on your mind.”

“Well, I do...” his voice quiet,“But every time I speak, Gwen looks at me like I’m a donkey carcass!”

"Sucks to be you, can’t relate one bit.”

Cody was about to whine his way into defending himself had he not fully noticed Chris’ lack of presence in the conversation. He was...taking pictures?

“Uh...why are you taking photos of (Y/N) when you get to see her everyday? If anyone should be taking pictures, it should be me!” He really didn’t think with that one.

“I know dude, but she’s into photography and she reaaaaaally likes having her pictures taken. It’s a favour for her and I.” he suddenly turns to Cody, washing a scowl on his face,“Save your photo taking skills for someone else, okay? Not on my someone who’s like old enough to be your mom. That’s just gross.”

Meanwhile with the girls:

“(Y/NNN), you should really reconsider your marriage.” Beth advises with a glum glaze reflecting off her glasses.

Confusion bubbles your mind,“What do you mean?” you ask, placing Lindsay’s brush down as you began dividing her hair into smaller sections.

“What does Beth mean?“ Sadie repeated like you were crazy,“(Y/N), you’re like a super goddess compared to Chris! He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah, what Sadie said! I was thinking that too!” After Katie spends a minute gushing with Sadie about their unbreakable friendship, she turns back to you with concern,“But for real, you’re WOAH and there, Chris is...” she doesn’t feel the need to finish it, which takes you by surprise.

“Aww, what? He’s way more WOAH than I am!”

“That’s not true...” Bridgette curiously comments,“What do you see in that guy?”

“He makes me laugh.”

Pause.

Courtney’s the first to boom,“Seriously? There’s about ten thousand other men that can do that and not be as horrible as Chris is!”

“Ohh, but Chris isn’t horrible!” you exclaim, dropping Lindsay’s hair to clasp your hands for the moment,“He’s a wonderful guy! The most wonderful man I’ve met in my entire life!” 

“(Y/N)... You’re too nice.” Gwen breathes out exasperated, gothic view floats to your symmetrically defined waist,“Have you tried modelling before?”

“I have, yes, but I was rejected for not fitting the standards.”

“Impossible!” Lindsay flips her head around on impulsive shock. Thanks to her extensive hair length, it barely made a difference to the styling process.

“Possible. They said I wasn’t what they were looking for and told me to surgically change myself before reaching out to them again. As if!” you do the next batch of golden dyed hair,“While the experience wasn’t ideal, it reminded me of something that even as a grown woman I need to be careful of. At the time, I was actually willing to lose a part of me that I was perfectly fine with for the sake of a runaway platform. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? To do all that for one place? Let this resonate that you as young girls should never feel that you need to ruin what you were naturally given to feel loved or pretty. If something or someone doesn’t accept you for who you are naturally, the relationship was not meant to be and you mustn’t dwell on them. Don’t do things to yourself that aren’t for yourself.”

You had done the final twist in the band of Lindsay’s hair.

...

All they could think by the end of it was

How the hell did Chris get with her.

Back to some private examples with lover man.

“I’m so exhausted!” you fall down in your armchair, groaning to Chris,“I could do with a new bra...”

He smirked,“That one you’re wearing too small?”

“Or I’m too big.” your hands shoot up through your shirt to unclip it, freedom freezing off the tension around your shoulders,“It’s hard to breathe sometimes, you know? These balls of feminine fat hang on my chest doing nothing all day, but weigh me down and kill my back! Sometimes I envy women with smaller boobs, they can move as much as they please and don’t need to spend hours on hours searching for clothes!”

“Yeah uh, I don’t think comparing yourself in this case is gonna help you feel better.” a cheeky glint fires across his pupils, his voice rasping gingerly,“How about a nice massage instead? All it costs is your love!” 

A tease of your own climbs up on your lips,“And by love, you mean a week’s worth of getting to sleep on me?”

“Huh? Oh no, of course not!” Liar. Look at how happy he was to do something for someone else. It was exactly what he wanted.

“Okay, okay.” you laugh and trudge to the bed, preparing to undress yourself.

Like Chris was gonna allow any masseuse, no matter how good they were, to see your body the way he could.

Especially if he could get a personal reward out of it.

You intentionally moaned when his fingers dug deep into your rhomboids.

“Better?” his tone still mischievous and salient.

You nod, sitting up and sighing in relief,��Much better... You’ve improved your technique, haven’t you?”

He scratches the back of his head, smiling sincerely,“You noticed? Well, of course, only the best for you.”

“Aw, aren’t you the best husband anyone can ask for?” you push yourself off the bed and wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his flustered cheek,“Thank you. Now who’s ready for a good night sleep?”

[mooniemilkieway]

The Most Random Creepypasta Headcanons (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL POST RAHHH)

- Laughing Jack has done trad goth styled makeup because he has found fond of it whenever he sees his “victims” (teenagers…) started doing it around the 1970s and 80s. He also really loves trad goth bands such as “Flesh for Lulu” and “Exces Nocturne”

- Eyeless Jack has a blood kink….you can’t tell me he wouldn’t I know that motherfucker does

- BEN Drowned and Sonic.Exe have beef with each other and would constantly argue over a discord call about who’s the better video game mascot and franchise. Slender man would overhear BEN’s screaming and would tell him to shut up and to go to bed

- Nina the Killer’s room has a shit ton of Sanrio plushies and a wall of the Monster Energy Ultra Rosa cans and even made a gun using those cans and is hanging up on her wall

- I would like to think that Clockwork died of an infection because of her literally mutilating her mouth and replacing her eye with a clock but got resurrected by Slender Man because Ticci Toby knew her while they were in their talking stage.

- Jane the Killer lowkey had a Taylor Swift and a One Direction fan and snuck into a Harry Styles concert just to relieve her childhood.

- Sally Williams would possess a Teddy Bear and would chase around Jeff with a Knife because he would insult her stuff animals

- If the Slender Mansion was an actual thing and all the creepypastas lived there and it was a reality show it would either be like The Kardashians or Bad Girls Club

- Slender Man secretly watches Total Drama and would imagine himself being like Chris McLean hosting a deadly reality show with his proxies being contestants. His favorite season is World Tour and would hum some of the songs the characters sung

- Laughing Jack used to live in an abandoned carnival but one day and for some reason a bunch of rednecks set the carnival on fire while he was on a killing spree so for now he resides in the Slender Mansion

- Jeff the Killer is the equivalent of Eric Cartman

- If Jeff The Killer sees you with a Nirvana shirt, he would go up to you and ask you “name three songs from them”

- BEN Drowned is a SoundCloud rapper and has made multiple diss tracks on Sonic.Exe and his album covers are literally anime girls with vapor wave backgrounds because he thinks it’s “edgy.”

- Ticci Toby that kind of person to say that he’s a smoker but he only ever had one cigarette and had a coughing attack after one inhale

- Jane The Killer is a crystal girlie who has a crystal collection and cleanses them during the full moon and does witchcraft (she just like me)