#Im trying to do my best by everyone and really could use some input

[sortofanobsession]

Will o the Wisp Viktor's pronouns Super Rewrite

Author's note: I'm still grappling with how to handle this in canon events. But I decided it feels right to post both versions and let you guys decide which one to use going forward. Literally the only thing that has changed is Viktor's name and pronouns and a few grammar mistakes.

I really would like your guys' input going forward. I might make a poll about it but I don't think this series has many readers so just send me an anon ask, or a reply. Thanks guys. Here is all 4 chapters rewritten in this post so it is a looooong one, so it is all under the cut.

Again the main ship is Diego x reader but since Viktor x platonic!reader is important at points I decided to fix it.

Series/TUA Masterlist

Establishing info:

#8-The Wisp

Her powers are that she can create a being of pure light and seemingly energy, separate from her own entity. It started as a flickering ball of light. Pogo had said the faint light was like the Will o' the Wisp in old English folklore. But she would go on to learn that most cultures had phantom lights. The name Wisp stuck, but the light didn't stay small or weak for long. Sir Reginald Hargreeves trained her to give it form and capable of independent motion. She gave it a humanoid form to make it easier to manipulate when she took it over. But more often than not, she lets it clings to her like an inverse shadow. She eventually found that she could split her consciousness and control it. Something her father would push her to explore. She can will it in and out of existence, but it still sort of radiates from her if she doesn't give it an external form. It gives her an ethereal glow when it doesn't have its own form. She can weaponize the light in multiple ways. She can use it to blind opponents. It can temporarily stun and disorient someone. She can use it as a projectile. She can also use it to fight as multiple beings, something she tries to limit because fragmenting one's psyche can be both disorienting and unnerving. 

Her siblings had stuck with the Will o' the Wisp idea and jokingly called her Will, but she preferred the name Y/N that Mom helped her pick. They initially called the light entity Wisp due to a lack of creativity. Then they got more "creative", calling it her shining stalker, bright bugger, and many other weird and rude names. She would remind them it wasn't a sentient being. It only became so when she was the conscious one controlling it. And tell them they were just jealous they couldn't be in two places at once. 

Her arguments with Diego were usually more direct.

"You're just jealous I never run out of weapons or have to retrieve them," she would tease when Diego would start to bug her about it.

"At least I can blend into a crowd," Diego would shoot back. "You stick out like a glow stick even when your stalker isn't burning its image into people's retinas."

"And yet, they still like us more," she would shrug and guide her glowing glimmer to do the same, making it seem more like a twin or a doppelganger as she does. 

She had two siblings that were drawn to her by her light. They would cling to the light as the light clung to her. Ben and Klaus. Ben, because the warm light helped cancel out the cold darkness his powers seemed to bring with them. Klaus, because despite the ghost light jokes, her light actually helped keep his ghosts and demons at bay. It would remind him he wasn't in the dark mausoleum that their father would lock him in. So it wasn't unusual for one or both of them to hide from nightmares in her room. She didn't mind. If it helped them, she'd do it, even if Sir Reginald didn't approve. That was what they had their powers for, wasn't it? Helping people, being heroes, wasn’t that what they were supposed to do? For her, part of that meant putting up with Klaus drooling or Ben mumbling in his sleep. 

Her other siblings mostly liked or at least tolerated her, other than Diego. Diego liked to argue with her almost as much as he did Luther. He often called her la bruja after the witch lights that taunt and trick people. Luther and Allison had told her he was probably just jealous that Y/N has useful powers. He is jealous that she has successfully molded her powers the way their father wanted her to. They told her she was as good at what she could do as they were, which was what pissed him off.

Luther didn't mind her as long as she followed orders and did her training. He liked her well enough, but she wasn't Allison. Allison liked having a sister with powers, but she wanted attention more, and since Luther was happy to give it to her, Allison spent most of her time with him. Y/N and Viktor got along well enough, but Klaus would usually drag Y/N and often Ben off on a whim and rarely left much time for the seventh sibling. 

Y/N and Five liked to challenge each other. It was a playful rivalry, unlike Luther and Diego. She and Five would see who could get somewhere faster, him or her speed of light Wisp. They would race, push each other, and make each other faster and more focused. They'd take turns critiquing their techniques as they trained and just genuinely got along. They could be competitive and still be companions. The competitions made them both better. They thrived due to their competitiveness but always ended the day as equals. 

A few days after Five vanished and failed to return, Viktor had come to her. Viktor was always observant, despite the neglect she suffered. Viktor had noticed how the Wisp wasn't out as much. The ethereal glow around his sister was dimmer, darker. It was less like a warm candle and more like the pilot light on a stove or a heater. A deeper, almost blue core to it. Blue as if tainted with her melancholy. And when the Wisp was out, usually in training or at their father's insistence, it was less of vibrant sunshine at high noon or a beautiful yet powerful sunrise. But more harsh like a wildfire flame at night. They had talked, cried, and missed their brother. Viktor gave their sister a sad smile the following day at breakfast. Happy that their sister's glow had warm colors back in it, but it still lacked some of the vibrancy it once had. 

The blue tinge returned and deepened after Ben died. The Wisp was now a being of blue light that clung to her as the loss clung to her soul. People found it eerie and ghost-like, a more authentic Will o’ the Wisp. But when she took it over, the Wisp was more like a vengeful house fire than a being of sunlight. It was unsettling. Sir Reginald had insisted she cease it at once. So she would will it to be different at times, but it always looked off. She would think more of the ghost-light stories, the darker ones. The witch lights, or even luz mala or La Candileja. Maybe those were more accurate these days, a bad omen. 

When the Umbrella Academy drifted apart, she had moved to a small rental home in the suburbs. She found work in a local shop. Somewhere her glowing companion wouldn't bother anyone.

Klaus would drop by when he had nowhere to crash or needed general necessities. She would check in with Viktor and Pogo every week or so, but it was mostly solitary existence. After Viktor's book was published, she would catch her neighbors staring. They would keep their distance. Although a nice older woman named Joan who lived down the street would often stop by on walks with her dog. She was a fan of Allison's movies and was always happy to hear the stories the book didn't tell. She was the only person that didn't seem to think that her powers made her weird. Or at least she didn't think they were weird in a bad way. 

But it all changed when she was notified about the death of Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

Chapter 2: Nothing Lasts Forever

She sighs as she looks up at the building she had dreaded going back to, the Umbrella Academy. It was inevitable she was back here. Nothing and no one lasted forever. Even Sir Reginald Hargreeves could not defeat death.

She wasn't surprised to hear voices as she walked through the door. “Sorry I’m late, Pogo,” She smiles and greets Pogo with a hug. As she pulls away, she relaxes her shoulders and lets the Wisp take form. "They already at it?" She asks Pogo. 

"Tensions are a bit high under the circumstances," Pogo tells her.

"Well, it is the Hargreeves Family way," she says with a sad smile. 

"Fills the quiet, I suppose," he states.

"That it does."

"Took you long enough," Diego says, stopping his arguing with Luther long enough to glare as she enters. 

"Some of us actually have jobs that require our attention, Diego," she says as she pushes past him. “I had to swap shifts and make a lot of promises just to be here. Not everyone stalks the streets like an unemployed psycho at night.” She forces a smile and looks at her less infuriating siblings. "Hi," she nods at the others. “I really am sorry I’m late.”

Luther looks like he’s about to say something but doesn’t as he eyes the cold shade and odd intensity of the Wisp as it hovers over her shoulder. 

“It’s fine,” Viktor says. “Not like you did it on purpose.”

“Thanks, V,” she says, earning a grumble from Diego. “What now?”

“Of course, you two are still pals. He made you sound like an angel in his book compared to-” Diego is cut off as the Wisp flashes before him, and he scrambles back from the white-hot intensity. He pulls out a knife and throws it at her, but it’s knocked away as the Wisp redirects it with a heated blast. She was careful no one got caught in the crossfire. Her eyes glow the same hue as the Wisp as she manipulates it.  

“Still as rude as ever, Diego,” she says, eyes burning as she glares at him. “Can’t even be civilized for a funeral. I’m sure Mom will be so disappointed.”

Diego looks like he’s about to explode with rage but is interrupted as Luther starts talking about a memorial service in the courtyard for their father. It redirects Diego’s ire and eventually devolves into an argument. The argument is mainly between Luther and Diego about whether their father was murdered. Y/N tried not to let her annoyance show as the pointless argument continued. Neither Luther nor Diego would see the other’s point. They’d just argue in circles like they always did. Their other siblings poking holes in one argument or another. She knew in the end it would just be more of the same. Everyone would be angry or at least annoyed, and Luther would probably get his way. He was Number One, after all. She was thankful when they all headed off in different directions throughout their former home. Everyone was off in their own world, and that was fine with her. No one would bother her. Luther’s choice in music at least made her smile. Not all the memories they had of the academy were bad. The ones of their father were, but they had moments of levity. Most of them at least did. She let her mind drift to better times as she looked over her collection of Y/F/Ts before the tune got the better of her, and she moved with the music. But the somewhat peaceful calm never lasts.

It's almost like she can feel the crackle of the energy in the air before the lightning starts. But it didn’t feel right. She knows it’s more than just a lightning storm. There’s extra energy to it. Something different. She makes her way to the courtyard, the others not far behind her.

 They all stare at the glowing blue mass as it hovers off the ground. She switches her consciousness into the Wisp and approaches it, earning an angry shout from Diego and a demand from Luther to stop. She ignores them both. She barely even registers that one of them pulls at her actual arm. Her consciousness primarily focuses on the Wisp. She trusts her siblings enough not to harm her body while her mind is elsewhere. Only giving her body enough attention to keep it from falling to the ground. She moves in a flash as Klaus runs up and throws a fire extinguisher at the hovering mass, or rather portal, since the extinguisher just vanishes inside of it. She refocuses her attention as she approaches the portal again. She sees something, someone. Her brothers continue to shout orders. And she continues to ignore them until she feels a strong pull as her body is thrown off balance, and out of instinct, her mind returns to her body. She blinks up at Diego. He’d pulled her body back to block it from whatever might come through the portal. She opened her mouth to ask him why he’d stopped her, but he spoke first.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“It can’t hurt me when I’m the Wisp,” she reminds him.

“No, but it can hurt this you,” he gestures to her actual body. She hates to admit he is, on some level, correct. Her human form was vulnerable when she was in the Wisp. She still finds it annoying he doubts she can handle herself. She was confident even as the Wisp she’d be able to protect both forms. She had been trained to do that, after all. She is just about to quip back when she looks away from him and freezes. Diego doesn't notice her shift in demeanor. He continues to say, “And instead of protecting everybody, I’m stuck making sure you don’t get-"

"Diego…"

The slight quiver in her tone and the way her hand grips his arm stops him mid-sentence. Instantly has his guard up, and his grip on her tightens. She's never said his name like that. Never. He expected her to fight him. To yell at him for thinking she couldn't take care of herself. He didn't expect her to start to shake.

"Diego, look."

Again it's her tone and the way she is just staring past him that has him doing what she asked without arguments. Everything seems to finally start to register with him. He’d heard the voices of their siblings but not really registered what they had said. He took in the new figure in the courtyard. Mentally cursing his momentary loss of awareness. He knows he got too focused on her and put them both at risk. Distractions get people killed. But the look on Y/N's face catches him off guard.

"It's Five," she says.

He lets her go when she pulls away. 

After what could only be considered an interrogation from their siblings, specifically Luther and Diego, Y/N finally got a good look at her newly returned brother. She had watched as Five moved around the kitchen and knew exactly where everything was. She listens as he answers the questions they ask him. But she waits. She lets the others get their answers. She smiles sadly as he talks to Viktor. Only after does she finally speak to him. 

"I thought it was my job to push you into doing something stupid, not yours," Y/N tells him. She doesn't miss the way the corner of his lips seems to twitch as he studied her. She didn’t know it but the last time he had seen her, not only was her light gone but so was her life. He was glad to see her light again, even if it wasn't as bright and warm as he remembered.

"You would have told me it was an awful idea, and yes, it was worse than you could possibly imagine. Although, from the looks of it," he gestures to the dim and dark hue of the Wisp. "You've had your fair share of awful too." 

"If you really did read V's book, then you know we," she repeats the gesture to her illuminated ally. "We didn't take it well."

"You mean you didn't. The Wisp was always you," Five says. "You always reminded us of that."

She chuckles. "I haven't needed to remind anyone in years. It's just me and the Wisp most days. I guess even I forget sometimes. Somedays, it doesn’t feel like just an extension of me, of my powers. It keeps me company."

"I don't think I like this faded shade of yours," he tutted. 

"Shade is…" she smiled sadly. "More accurate than you could possibly know." She repeated his words back to him. 

"Well, get the Wisp back in shape, we have work to do, and we're going to need all the power you've got." 

"The Wisp is fine. And when have I ever backed down when you offered me a challenge?"

“Never, but I'm about to give you the hardest one of all," he states.

"And that is what?"

"Getting the others to work together," he tells her. "That includes Diego."

She groans. 

"He won't listen to me, and it has only gotten worse."

"I don't know,” Five smirks. “You seemed pretty clingy in the courtyard."

"That was different. That was shock," she tells him.

"So when in shock, you cling to Diego, the very person you claim to hate the most? And he just protects you so he can keep fighting you? Sure, Y/N, that makes perfect sense."

"About as much sense as you being back after 17 years of being missing and looking like you never left or aged."

"I made a miscalculation. And Diego, he cares enough to protect you, so I don't think it'll be as hard as you think. You can do it. I know you can." 

“What do you need our help for?”

“Hopefully, I won't, but just in case,” he tells her. “I just need you to trust me.”

“I always have, Five. 17 years hasn’t changed that.”

“Good.”

They had said it was time for the memorial. So they all head to the courtyard and into the rain. She hated the rain. Her powers and rain never mixed well. She grips the umbrella handle tight and lets the Wisp vanish. Her body taking on an eerie blue glow from her confined powers. She wasn't surprised that the memorial was an absolute disaster. No one really had much to say. None of them really had fond memories of their father. Luther did his best, but between the rain and the lack of wind, it was almost comical how the ashes just fell to the ground. She almost felt bad enough to attempt to help using her powers. Almost. She could try to superheat the air around her and form some kind of draft, but she couldn’t stop the rain. Any thought of assistance went out the window when Diego and Luther started to fight. What she didn't expect was Ben's memorial statue to get wrecked when their fight turned physical. If anyone had been paying attention, they would have seen the blue hue she had was now a heated red. Her eyes started to glow like embers revived from a rush of oxygen. Her fury acting like a backdraft in a house fire. The heat radiating from the confined powers started to heat the air around her. Steam began rising around her as the rain on the ground vaporized.

"That's new," Five says as he sees the steam. He watches as her heated grip mutilates the handle of her umbrella, causing her to drop it to the ground as she storms off. The heat of her powers keeping the rain from reaching her skin. She glares at Diego as she passes him. 

Klaus nudges the partially melted handle of her umbrella with his foot. 

“How does she do that and not just burst into flames?” Five asks. He had seen the Wisp become hot enough to boil water and completely melt solid objects, but not her true form, her human form. He knew he missed more than what Viktor's book had shared, but seeing how much was different still felt strange.

“Because she’s Y/N/N,” Klaus singsongs. “Will o’ the Wisp.”

“I can’t remember the last time she got that mad,” Allison says.

“Only one time I know of,” Viktor says. “When she nearly burned that pavilion down at the park.” 

“Oh yeah,” Klaus says.

Allison grimaces slightly at the memory. “I always forget how scary she can be. Like the Wisp is one thing, but she’s-”

“Hot-headed,” Diego states. 

"Really, Diego," Luther narrowed his gaze at him. 

"What? She is, and she doesn't-"

Five shakes his head. "You just bring out the best in everyone, don't you, Diego." 

Diego goes to reply but doesn't get the chance. 

"Should someone check on Y/N?" Viktor asks. 

When no one volunteers, Five rolls his eyes. "Fine. I'll do it. It amazes me you all survived so long without me." 

She startles slightly as Five blinks into her room, but she seems to recover quickly.

"You alright?" He asks. 

"Well, nothing is on fire," she states. "So it could be worse." She takes off her coat and throws it on her desk chair. The steam is still rising from it. She rolls her shoulders, and the Wisp appears in the room. Goosebumps form as her superheated skin rapidly cools as the heat of The Wisp leaves her. She rubs her arms. 

"So that means the building is fine, doesn't tell me if you are," he counters. Earning him an exhausted sigh from his sister.

"You still think he'll listen to me?" she asks him.

"Diego? Yeah, I mean, they didn't break the statue to spite you. They are just morons that don't know their own strength or stupidity." 

"Luther would wish he was back on the moon if they did. Diego too. The one place too far out of my reach." 

"Still doesn't answer my question."

"I'm fine now that I'm out of the rain, and we can stretch out," she gestures at the Wisp. "I hate the rain, and I have a headache after everything that has happened today." 

"You and me both," Five admits. "Doesn't help that your body just went from hot enough to melt your umbrella to normal temperature in less than a minute. If your body wasn’t so used to your powers, then I'd think you might have boiled your brain. So a headache after using your powers more than you probably have in over a decade isn’t surprising." 

"I think I might take a nap," she says as she lays down.

"Probably a good idea," he nods. 

"You'll still be here when I wake up, right?" She yawns. 

"Don't worry about me,” he says vaguely. “I'll be around." 

She leaves her room a bit later to find most of her siblings have gone. Viktor, Diego, Klaus, and even Five had left. None of them bothered to tell her goodbye. However, she didn’t really expect them to after everything that happened. But she was disappointed. Five was gone.

“Hey,” she says when she finds Allison in the main room. 

“Feeling better?” Allison asks.

“Well,” she chuckles. “The primary pain in my ass and source of rage headaches, took my secondary source of headaches with him when he left. So yeah, much better.” 

“You must love the quiet now then,” Allison states.

“I don’t mind the quiet. It means no one is actively trying to kill each other, or if they are it isn’t my problem,” she admits.

“True, let the city deal with them for once,” Allison agrees, laughing slightly at the somewhat dramatic way her sister drops into a nearby chair. “They’ll fix the statue. I’m sure Pogo won't let it stay like that forever. I’ll make sure Luther fixes it if I have to.”

“Thanks. I don’t doubt that.” She looks over and really studies her sister. “I didn’t really get to talk to you earlier, but I’m sorry about what happened with Claire.”

“Thanks. Hopefully, if I can show them I’m not using rumors anymore, that things might go back to normal,” Allison says.

“I hope so too,” she says. “If anyone knows how hard it can be to resist your powers, it’s me.”

“You don’t even get that option,” Allison says. “Can’t imagine how that feels.”

“The harsh fluorescent lights at work drown out a lot of glow. At least enough my co-workers can ignore it. I hope. No one has actually complained that I know of. But everyone else, like my neighbors or people at the grocery store, no matter how many times people see me, even without the Wisp, they stare. I’m just uncanny and eerie, lucky me.”

Allison nods. “I’m used to people staring because of my job, not my powers.”

“Oh, my one neighbor thinks she is your biggest fan. She is the only one that stops by to chat and actually treats me like I'm not a freak. She loves your work. And it may not be the limelight, but we survive,” She grins. “On the bright side, I’m never cold, and my heating and electric bills are low.”

"Well, I'm glad I could help you make a friend even when I'm not there." Allison shakes her head and laughs. “The limelight isn’t all that great these days.”

“Still pays the bills, right?” 

“Yeah, it does.”  

Y/N went up to her room and after being unable to really settle enough to sleep anymore. She digs deep into her powers and summons multiple small flickering orbs of light no bigger than a candle flame. She does something she doesn't often do anymore. She split her mind into six small fragments and sends them out into the world. Each one seeks the areas her siblings often dwell. The barrage to her senses as six sets of images and sensations try to form in her mind all at once is nauseating, and pressure starts to build behind her temples. But the sick feelings are drowned out as she focuses on the lights. She lets two of them fade to nothing when she realizes Luther and Allison are still at the academy, seemingly in their own world of their own issues. She lets another fade as she finds Klaus seemingly talking to himself in Diego’s car. She follows Diego and isn't surprised to find him staring off into nothingness, brooding, she figures. She caught glimpses of Five and Viktor talking at Viktor’s apartment. So she let all but one fade to nothing. Somehow she just knew Diego was going to be the one causing trouble right now. So she focuses her attention on that particular orb, on keeping an eye on Diego.

Chapter 3: Bail and Boiler Rooms

The faint glowing orb hovers just beyond Diego as he approaches a crime scene. She continues to follow him until he is busted by Patch. The image of him being tazed made her laugh, or she probably laughed. The Wisp couldn't exactly make verbal noises, and her body wasn't really her main focus. It was safe at the academy. She watches Patch take his radio and fake badge. With a sigh, Y/N didn’t let the orb fade as she pulled back most of her consciousness. She kept enough of her mind there to keep to the periphery of wherever her brother was. She was vaguely aware of how he’d seem to furrow his brow and glance in the light’s direction as he was moved. But she would shift the positioning every time and refocus on what she was doing in her primary form. She didn’t need him drawing attention to the fact she was basically sneaking around, especially once at the precinct. She was basically trespassing. But it was technically not illegal. She knew physically she wasn’t trespassing, physically her body was at the academy. No one could prove what the lights were. Not like they could catch her. The Wisp technically didn’t have a corporeal form, especially when it was just a small fraction of her powers. She makes quick work of changing out of her pajamas and grabs her coat as she slips on her shoes. She doesn’t bother sneaking out like she would have done as a child. Her father wasn’t there to scold her. She glanced at Grace up in her little alcove as she made her way to the door. Allison and Luther wouldn’t care if she left. She didn’t need to leave a note or make excuses. She knew they cared for her, in their own way, but what did it matter in the long run? She was rarely there anyway. And really, was she even really mentally there now? If Grace or Pogo had noticed, she’d have told them, but they didn’t. It was like everyone was off in their own little worlds. Ones that were almost foreign to her now. She makes her way to the police station. She ignores the staring and hushed whispers. Especially when the glow around her seems to intensify for a moment as she lets the orb that had been watching over Diego fade and her powers settle into her form. She forced a sweet smile on her face at the double-take she got as she approached the desk sergeant on duty.  

“Umm, hi, I’m here to collect my idiot brother, Diego Hargreeves. Detective Patch-”

“Is right here,” a voice calls as the detective approached. “Wasn’t aware anyone made a call to his family to collect him.”

“They didn’t,” Y/N states. “I try to keep tabs on my siblings, and I’m not normally in town, but-”

“Y/N, right?” Patch says as she gestures for Y/N to follow her. 

“Yeah,” the last of the Hargreeves nodded. 

“Not exactly the sibling I figured would be the one to bail him out,” Patch admits.

“Sometimes I surprise even myself,” Y/N mumbles. 

“I read the book, you know,” Patch tells her as they approach the hallway to the holding cells. Patch doesn’t miss the way the glow around Diego’s sister flickers, and dims momentarily, as the glowing form lets out a dry chuckle. “Then I’m not surprised you think it’s odd I’m here.”

“Maybe,” Patch nods. “But family, Hargreeves or not, are often the ones to collect their wayward siblings from lock up. From what it sounds like, you’re not unfamiliar with the process.” 

Y/N snorts a laugh again. “I’m sure some poor desk sergeant or even hospital has my number stamped on a file for Klaus.”

“Always frustrating when they won't even help themselves, let alone let you help them,” Patch says somewhat vaguely as she signs a paper and gestures to an officer towards the holding cells. She waits until the guard opens the cell and calls Diego out. The glowing Hargreeves didn’t move into the hallway, instead choosing the lean on the wall beside the entryway. She can feel the exhaustion of the day deep in her bones. The strain of keeping the Wisp contained and dimmed to limit the awkwardness to those around her wasn’t helping. She takes a few seconds to mentally prep for dealing with whatever would come out of Diego’s mouth when he finds out she was there. She silently waits while her brother and the detective have a short talk. She pushes off the wall when she hears them approach. She steps closer to the hallway as they come into view. 

Patch gestures to Diego and tells her, “Well, this one is your problem now.” 

“Thanks, Detective,” the female Hargreeves nods. The detective leaves the siblings for what is bound to be an awkward reunion.

“I knew it!” Diego shouted when Patch was gone. Ignoring the way her shoulders immediately stiffen as she crosses her arms over her chest. “I knew I saw that demon light of yours.”

“Rude to say to the only sibling that bothered to bail you out,” Y/N grit her teeth and shook her head at his tone. “Your welcome, by the way.” Trying to mentally remind herself what Five had said, they needed to work together. 

“I didn’t ask for you to bail me out,” Diego seethes.

“And I didn’t ask if you cared,” she glares at him. “Because wow, shocker, you don’t. But Grace does, so again, you’re welcome.” 

“They would have let me go in the morning,” Diego states.

“And…you know what, yeah, they probably would have. But I told Five I would try, and-” She stops and rubs at her temples. She missed the confused look Diego gave her before he schooled his features. He had no idea that Five had asked her to do anything outside of what he’d told all of them. Let alone anything having to do with Diego. He eyed her cautiously as she continued. “It has been a very long day, and I forgot how exhausting trying to actually care for everyone is.”

“I didn’t-”

“I know, Diego, okay?” He watched as her shoulders dropped as she spoke. She looked tired. “I get it. You don’t need help. You don’t want help, especially from me,” she said, her tone almost as blue as the Wisp’s glow.

“That’s not–” he started to argue.

“Can we just go home?” She asks before flinching at her own choice of words. The academy wasn’t home anymore. Hadn’t been for years. And why was she asking him? Why did she even want to go back? Everyone she was used to caring for was gone. The ones that used to actually want her around or seek her out weren’t there. Not even Viktor said goodbye. Five was back, but he didn’t seem to have time for her. Ben’s statue was still broken and a painful reminder that no one was going to need her during the night. And she knew her siblings still felt unnerved by the Wisp these days. Or really at who she had become. What had changed? Nothing really. 

Diego watched as her brow furrowed, and she seemed to be arguing with herself. “Hold on-” 

“You can go home,” she says as she turns on her heels, she was too tired to argue with him anymore. “I’m going to go back to the academy. Try not to get arrested again. I would like to get a few hours of sleep.” 

She manages to catch a bit of sleep, but it was far from decent. And left pretty much to herself, she sat on the bed, back to the wall, and sent out her orbs. Pulling back one by one as she figured out where her siblings were. But something at the back of her mind still pushed her. So she pulls her focus back into her own body and goes to where she knows Diego lives. She uses her Wisp as a distraction as she enters the gym and sneaks her way into the boiler room he stays in. 

She is surprised when Luther finds her first. "Huh, not the brother I expected to see here," she states. 

"You here to see if he killed dad too?" Luther asks.

“What? No.” She shakes her head. "I'm here because he’s a self-destructive idiot who is going to get himself arrested again."

"For murder?" He asks for clarification. “Wait, again?”

“Yes again. And no, for impersonating a cop. As lovely as his detective friend is, I’m not sure she’ll be as happy to see me in such a short time span, even if it is to bail his ass out and get him out of her hair.”

“You bailed him out?” Luther says, shocked. “Diego. You bailed Diego out of jail.”

“I bail out Klaus all the time,” she states.

“But you like Klaus, and this is Diego we’re talking about.”

“You wouldn’t if called upon?” She tries to make this less about her. 

“He called you to bail him out?” He asks in utter disbelief. Diego hated her almost as much as he hated him. 

“Of course not, no one called me-” She realizes her slip-up as Luther’s eyebrow raises.

“Wait, no one called you to bail him out, and you did?”

“He’s still our brother, Luther,” her voice a bit quieter than it had been when she adds, “Even if he hates me.” 

“But how did you…wait, you didn’t-” Luther starts, but she is quick to change to the topic.

"Luther, do you really think he had something to do with our father's death?"

Again Luther goes to say something about the previous topic but remembers this was why he was there in the first place."Well, someone had to have done it, and Diego hated him and keeps insisting it was just heart failure."

"Because that is what the coroner’s report said. Pogo would have talked to the coroner as well. If this is some big cover-up by Diego, do you really think he’d have that power? He didn’t even have the power to not get arrested by Patch like yesterday. And for the record, we all hated Dad for something," she states.

"That's not true," Luther says.”Are you really defending Diego right now? You?”

"Luther, you are the only one that thinks that there was any good to Reginald Hargreeves. And I cannot imagine why even you think that. Luther, he left you on the moon, alone, for how long? He put you somewhere even I couldn’t find you. And I tried. Doesn’t that upset you?” She wanted to grab him by his oversized shoulders and shake him, but that seemed ridiculous, so she continued to argue her point. “Look at what he did to us, Luther. He pushed and encouraged Allison to rely on her powers so much that she now is struggling not to use them after they cost her her marriage and custody of her kid. He was downright cruel to Klaus, locking him alone in a dark crypt filled with ghosts until he passed out. He spent so many nights in my room just to survive the nightmares and hell our father made him endure. I spent so much of my life being his personal nightlight, and I will never forget those nights. Or regret them. Same for Ben. And look at Viktor. He treated Viktor terribly like V was no one. No, that implies he saw any of us as people. We were weapons, Luther. Tools. He used us. And do you even know what he did to me? I mean I know what he did to the others because I would watch it all. Just like I did yesterday. I send tiny little pieces of me out there,” she gestures to the world outside of them. “To look after all of you. Do you want to know why? Because Reginald Hargreeves pushed me to it. Got under my skin so that if I don’t know what is going on, then I’m weak. That if you, or them, get hurt it’s my fault for ignoring my gifts. I know he was doing it to not only keep tabs on everyone, to spy. And that wasn’t even half of what he did. Sometimes he pushed just to see how many Wisps I could create, control, and put myself into, knowing full well it not only left my actual body vulnerable, risked stretching myself so thin I might forget to breathe. He knew it messed with my head, my senses. Do you know how overwhelming it is to have your senses being attacked from every direction from multiple perspectives and your mind has to somehow process it all simultaneously while still attempting to fight and protect yourself? It was like my brain was on fire. It was overwhelming, and it hurt. But he still pushed. He’d tell me to move between them faster. Focus better. Fight harder." She shook her head. "And he still expected me to be at breakfast the next morning like my mind hadn't been broken apart and forced back together. Like my senses weren't screaming, overwhelmed, and overstimulated until I thought my head or sometimes my whole body would just explode. I know you cared for him, Luther, but most of us stopped caring for the sake of our sanity. I did. I know V did. And I’m pretty sure Diego did too."

"But you didn't kill him," Luther states.

"No, I didn't,” she replies, her tone even and sure. “Do you need my alibi?"

"No," Luther says. “Even if you let your emotions get the best of you sometimes, you’d have walked away, like in the courtyard. I mean, you haven’t killed Diego yet. That’s saying something. And Diego, well, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

"I haven’t killed you either, and the two of you destroyed Ben’s statue,” she counters.

“It was an accident,” he argues, “And I didn’t want any of that to happen. I just wanted Dad to have a memorial. Someone killed him, and no one seems to care but me!”

“The worst part of all of this is I do care, Luther. I do. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t, but I do. I just don’t see it, Luther. I’m sorry, but do you think dad would really go that easy? Like, without even the slightest fight? No defensive wounds? Diego is trained, but do you really think any of us are that good? This is the man that trained us beyond the point of exhaustion. That wanted us to keep training and fighting even after Ben died.” She turns to the massive form of her brother and made sure he was listening. “Did you stop to think that Dad didn’t want anyone to have his monocle? Maybe he did something with it. That he didn’t want to give Klaus the chance to sell it or give Diego the satisfaction of breaking it? Or maybe he lost it. He was old. I don’t know, Luther. Maybe it was someone, but there has to be an explanation that isn’t Diego killing him. As much of a pain in the ass I think Diego is, I don't think he did. And even if he was going to, which again, I don't think he would, it would have been as soon as you were on the moon and no longer in his way. I don’t think he’d have had the patience to wait this long." 

“Well, I’m still going to look around,” Luther says.

“Don’t let me stop you,” she waved him off. 

They settle into awkward silence. She had just trauma-dumped their childhood like she was recapping Viktor’s book and then practically spelled out the pain she didn’t let anyone see. It was almost to much for Luther’s mind to handle. So he focused on what he was there to do in the first place. He could deal with his sister later, right? She was never one he needed to worry about. She could fight like the best of them. Gave as good as she got. Sure, he knew she took the losses of their siblings hard. That was clear from the cold blue tone of her once-warm glow. But she would always seem to rally. She kept going. That was just how she was. Most of them were. He tried to shake off any doubt he had while he looks around. Though he did glance over at her as she sits down and summons a Wisp orb. The eerie blue was like the stories Pogo had originally told. Like its namesake. Her namesake. He goes back to looking as she starts shifting it between her hands as if it was a toy, a distraction. He was genuinely glad she had been using it when a knife darted through the air toward him, and she knocks it out of the air with the orb. 

"Hey!" Luther shouts. 

"I could smell you," Diego tells Luther as he makes his way down the stairs. "And she's about as subtle as a strobe light."

“You could have killed me,” Luther says with a glare.

“If I wanted you dead,” Diego replies, “You'd be dead.”

"Lovely to see you too, brother,” she says, not even bothering to stand up. “I see you managed to stay off the police radar since I left.”

“You little-” Diego spat. “You never let me finish what I was saying. And why are you still spying on me? Dad’s dead. You don’t need to fill him in on what I do anymore.” 

"Oh please," she chuckles. "As if it was just you. Klaus knows I check in on him. A lot. Luther didn’t seem to care when I told him.” Luther opened his mouth to point out he hadn’t actually said anything like that, but she kept going. “And Klaus was with you. You just happened to be doing the more stupid thing between you two." She was absolutely not going to admit she was watching out for him, more so than the others. She’d take that to her grave if she had to. 

"I'm trying to figure out what is going on in this town. It can't be a-"

"Even if it isn't what do you think you can do about it? You're not a cop, Diego. Impersonating one will not end well. I bailed you out once already.”

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO!” Diego actually shouts. Because she still wasn’t listening to him. It’s the same argument, just a different day. Luther actually flinched as the normally blue glow around her shifted to a heated red. Even her eyes started to change. But unlike before, or really any time he’d seen her eyes change, the Wisp was nowhere in sight. It was just her. He was starting to think when she said it made her feel like she might explode earlier, she wasn’t exaggerating. He was honestly glad her ire was at least not focused on him anymore. It was focused on Diego. He was starting to wonder how these two survived being at each other's throats all the time. Then again, Luther had also just heard her defend Diego. 

"I KNOW BECAUSE YOU HATE ME! I GET IT!" She screamed.

Diego started seeing red at that point, and it wasn’t just his sister’s heated powers. “YOU STILL AREN’T LISTENING! YOU NEVER DO! YOU-”

“Enough!” Luther says. “Whatever this is about, it can wait. Because you keep screaming at each other, one of two things is going to happen. One, people in the gym are going to notice and we all get kicked out. Or two, the Wisp is going set off the sprinklers, or melt something at least.” 

Neither Luther nor Diego missed the way the light around her nearly vanished. The rapid shift in lighting meant it took a second for their eyes to adjust. It was like someone threw a bucket of cold water on a campfire on a dark night.  

“Why are you even here?” Diego asks. “Both of you.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Luther asks. 

“Tell you what?” Diego counters, annoyed at the vague nature of the question. 

“That you were fighting the night that Dad died,” Luther clarifies. “I checked with the guys out there.”

“Well, I shouldn't have to prove my innocence to you…” Diego states then glances at their sister. “Or anyone else in this family.”  

“Yeah,” Luther admits. “You're right. But, I just thought that…”

“Yeah. I know what you thought.”

“Do you think I would bail you out if I thought you killed Dad?” She asks once Luther is finished talking. She pulls her jacket tighter around her as the chill of such a temperature shift sets in. “Do you still have that little faith in me?” Her brothers both look at her. “Especially after Five asked me to talk to you.”

“Is that what all this is about, something Five saw?” Luther asks.

“What did Five ask you to do?” Diego asks, it's been a constant question in the back of his mind since she’d bailed him out and had mentioned him. 

“To get you to help him, to help us,” she admits.

“Is that why you’re being nice to him,” Luther gestures to Diego. “Because Five asked you to? That actually makes a lot more sense than-”

“You’re both assholes,” she tells them through clenched teeth before storming out.

“What just happened?” Diego looks at Luther. 

“Did she ever tell you that using her powers made her feel like her brain was on fire and that she might explode? Or that when she splits off into different Wisps, I guess it’s like having her brain scrambled and then trying to force it back into the shell?”

“What?” Diego just stares at him like he’d grown a second head.  

“Yeah, that was news to me too,” Luther says before going to follow her out. 

"Told you he didn't do it." Y/N says when Luther finally catches up to her. 

"So is it because of Five you’re defending him or what?"

"Yes and no. Yes, Five asked me to try and get everyone on the same page. Five thinks he might need our help. I’m not sure what for, but I guess I’m team prep. And no, because Diego might be an asshole, but he is still our brother, Luther. You’re still my brother, too."

“Do you usually use your powers to follow the others around?” Luther asks.

“Not usually, or at least for a while, I didn’t. I do it from time to time just to make sure everyone’s okay.”

“Even me?” Luther finally just asks.

“Well, I couldn’t reach the moon if that’s what you wanted to know. I mean, I’m not as powerful as the sun. Space is a bit too much for me. But before that, maybe once or twice, outside of Dad’s demands. You’re still my brother, and if I have to live with these stupid powers making me glow like a neon sign, I might as well use them to my advantage.”

“Two things. One, you said it hurts to do that, to split off and have all that stuff coming at your brain, so maybe don’t push. Phones exist, you know that, right?” Luther says. “Two, seems like an invasion of privacy.”

“Please don’t lecture me. I don’t do it much these days like that’s the first time since Viktor’s book came out I’ve followed anyone but Klaus.”

“Why Klaus?” 

“Because someone has to. He needs someone to look after him, and we all know he isn’t going to do it himself.”

“Maybe you coddle him too much.”

“You find your brother passed out in a drunk tank, or worse, unconscious on a dirty mattress in a flop house with no one around that cares, and try not to worry.”

“He’s that bad?” Luther asks.

“Yes, Luther. He can get that bad, and sometimes I don’t blame him. If I could take something, a drug, anything, that could make the Wisp vanish and not start glowing like the Vegas strip for a few hours, I would, but I can’t. If I could just leave the Wisp at home and go about my day, I would, but I can’t.”

“You tried that, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, and the only way I can manage that distance is if I split my consciousness, and that’s more of a headache than any hangover.”

“Like your brains on fire, I got that.” Luther grumbles. “You’re not the only one that sticks out in a crowd now.” 

“I know, big guy, I know.”

“But maybe just give your brain a break. You don’t have to fry your brain because of us.”

She let out a sad laugh. “I’ll try, but being back at the academy, it’s like nothing changed. I just want to know that everyone is fine. And it's dumb because Diego is right. I started it because Dad made me. I don’t have to do this anymore. But my brain won't let it go. Like I can’t sleep.”

“Maybe we work on that,” Luther states.

“Maybe,” she sighs.

Chapter 4: Discussions and Distractions 

Y/N and Luther get back to the academy. She lets out a long sigh as she rolls her shoulders and lets the Wisp form behind her. Luther had gotten so used to her doing that, that he didn’t usually bat an eye, but this time he takes a second to study the hue and intensity of the glowing form. After everything, they had talked about, and the fact they probably talked more now than they had since they were really little, he really looked at both her forms. How could she stand constantly having dueling perspectives? The more he tried to think about it, the more it seemed nauseating. Like, split-screen video games or picture-in-picture but 24/7 and beyond just audio-visual. They’ve been together their whole lives, and he is just really putting it into perspective now. He clearly sucks at being the sympathetic brother. He looks away from her glowing form and to her actual human one. She looked weary, almost drained. He wonders how much it takes out of her to have this extra entity that is constantly battling for space. It might not be a mental thing, but it clearly took a toll. Would she even tell him if she needed a break or help? Would any of them? He guessed that was kind of the situation they were all navigating now. Learning to work together again. And all it took was someone killing their dad. Maybe he was thinking too much about this.

"What?" She asks when her much larger brother just keeps staring at her.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but-"

"I know," she says knowingly. "I need to get more sleep.” She huffs a sort of tired laugh and smiles. “Wisp is more of a ragged refulgence right now."

Luther wasn’t about to admit he wasn’t actually sure what that meant. Ragged, made sense. That one he got. Refulgence? Well, that one he would have to look up. Why did his siblings have to genuinely be so much smarter than he was? But he ignored it. It wasn’t meant as a dig against his intelligence or anything like that. That she usually reserved for Diego. He knows her tone made it clear it was supposed to be, at least partially, a joke.

"Yeah," he nods. 

She gives him an amused look as he seemed to be in his head again. “Remember to get some sleep yourself, Luther.” With that, she goes off to her room. He goes to find Allison.

Y/N wakes up to Pogo telling her she had a call. She isn’t too surprised to find her boss on the line. She had given him the number as an emergency contact. She had not really expected him to use it, but then again, the guy wasn’t great on boundaries at times. For what feels like hours but is probably just a few annoying minutes, they argue about her next shift. She tells him how her family needs her and that she can’t come back yet. She can’t tell him the details. She can’t even guarantee a timeline. Eventually, her boss agrees to give her a few more days unpaid. To which she begrudgingly agrees. 

Grumbling, she goes to get something to eat. Her annoyance is clear in the slight red tint to her fluorescent facsimile.

"Whoa, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Klaus says. She glances up at the Wisp but shrugs. 

"My boss called."

"Fun, clearly went well," Klaus gestures to the aggravated aura.

"He is not happy about having to find someone to cover my shifts. But he did give me more time off, unpaid time off, but that's not a surprise."

"Why do you still work there if your boss sucks?"

"Because I have rent to pay," she says. "And I was lucky to find that job. Not a lot of people want to hire someone like me."

"That is their loss. You're great. A literal ray of sunshine."

"I love you, Klaus, but I think you're a bit biased."

"There you are," She smiles as she sees Five. "If I didn't know better, I would think you were avoiding me."

"You?" Five says. “Nah.” 

"I've seen Luther and Diego more than you, and that's saying something."

"That's because I trust you,” he insists, “I know you can do what I asked you to without me hovering. Hovering is more your thing." He gestures to the Wisp.

"I appreciate that, but I still miss you."

Five smiles sadly. "I miss you too, but once I sort out what I need to, then we'll have all the time we need for you to get sick of having me around like you do, Klaus." 

“You sure you have that much time?” She grins.

“For you?” He pretends to need to mull it over, but he knew the answer. He had genuinely missed her. He’d missed them all, but she had always been up to any challenge he gave her. She never used to back down. She may have lost some of her edge and her warm light, but she was still his sister. “Sure.”

She studies him. "Are you okay?"

"I promise you, Y/N/N, I am not the one you need to worry about."

She narrows her gaze at him. "See, that just makes me worry more."

He chuckles. "I know, but I trust you to do what needs to be done."

"But what is your end goal, Five? I can't help you much if you don't tell me."

"I'm handling it," he insists.

"But-" 

He squeezes her shoulder. “Just keep working on getting everyone on the same page."

She snorts a laugh. "I'm not even sure they're all using the same book, let alone page."

"You, Diego, and Luther were all in the same room and walked away agreeing on something last night, right?" She nods. "Then you are already doing better than I expected."

Grace approaches them. 

"There you are, Y/N," she smiles, "you have a call." 

"I'll fill you in later, okay?" Five assures her.

"Okay," she nods before going to get the phone. She was only partially surprised to find out it was her neighbor, Joan. Someone else she had given the number to for emergencies. 

"Hey Joan, I'm sorry I didn't let you know but my trip home is taking a bit longer than I expected." She informs her only friendly neighbor. "Oh, I told Allison you were a fan…"

"There you are. I think we found something about Dad." Luther pulls Y/N to the side. 

She is instant to inquire, "What did you find?" 

“Pogo gave Allison the key to the surveillance videos. Dad had been using them again. Getting paranoid, I guess.”

“So you have video from the day he died?”

“Exact moment and before it.”

“So?” she prompts him to continue when he doesn’t elaborate. 

“Grace gave him a cup of tea, and then he died.”

“So you think she did it?” She finds that hard to believe. She was their mom. She helped raise them when Reginald Hargreeves couldn’t be bothered to. 

“You can see for yourself once the others get here.” They stand in silence for a moment while she really thinks about it. What would have been Grace’s motive? Why was he telling her now if they were going to show everyone later? Unless…  

"Please tell me you don't think what I think you're thinking, Luther."

"I'm just telling you what we found. Figured you would want a heads up, going to have a family meeting."

"Luther," she starts. 

"I'm not saying it was him, just you know how he is with Grace," Luther says.

"He would never ask her to do anything like that, never put her in a position like that. I don’t even know if that would be possible. He…no, there has to be something else going on."

"Just don't miss the meeting," Luther says.

Before Y/N turns the corner she hears Diego in Grace’s sitting area. She thought about her conversation with Luther.

“Mom, we need to talk.” 

“Okay,” Grace agrees, “but only for a minute. I need to finish this cross-stitch.” 

“Everything you did for us when we were kids... for me... why'd you do it?”

“Because being your mother is the greatest gift of my life.” 

“Is that you saying that?” 

“I'm not sure what you mean, Diego.” 

“I mean, our father, he... made you.” 

“When you think something, is it like he's telling you what to say?” 

“Your father isn't here, silly. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, it's... it's not... Look. It's okay... if you hated him. He was terrible to you, to all of us.” 

“Don't say that.” 

“Why not? We were just tools in an experiment to him. Nothing more. So I'm saying, I would understand if... you know, if... if you wanted to hurt him.” 

“Now, now. Mr. Hargreeves was a great man. Industrialist, inventor, Olympic gold medalist. He made the world a better place.” 

“Stop it! Do you hear me? Stop trying to defend him! Mom, you gotta feel something. Look, he treated you worse than anyone. You worked for him for 30 years. He didn't even give you a room to sleep in.” 

“But I've got such beautiful views here.” 

“Mom, those are just paintings.” 

“Of course they are. What a wonderful world she lives in. Sometimes I wonder if she is lonely.”

Y/N can almost sense Diego’s frustration from where she is, but she doesn’t say anything. She just continues on her way. 

The Wisp hovers a few feet behind them all, just high enough not to heat any surfaces. But very little of Y/N’s focus is on the scintillate secondary entity. It was back to its usual melancholy tone. Her focus is on her siblings as they all gather. 

“I mean, do you really think Mom would hurt Dad?” Viktor asks.

“You haven't been home in a long time, Viktor.” 

“Maybe you don't know Grace anymore.”

“Not sure that’s fair,” Y/n mutters. “Most of us have been gone.” 

“If he was poisoned, it would have shown in the coroner's report.” 

“Well, I don't need a report to tell me what I can see with my own eyes.”

“Guys…” she starts.

“Look closer.” 

“Dad has his monocle.” Diego narrates. “Mom stands up. Monocle's gone.” 

“Oh, yeah!” Klaus agrees with a chuckle.

“She wasn't poisoning him. She was... taking it.” 

“To clean it.” 

Luther isn't convinced. “Then where is it? No, I've searched the house, including all her things. She doesn't have it.” 

“That's because I took it from her,” Diego admits. “After the funeral.”

The Wisp flashes a vivid shade of vermillion for a moment before it settles back to its usual melancholy blue. An action that earns her a few winces and nervous looks, but no one mentions it. They instead choose to focus on Diego.  

“You've had the monocle this whole time? What the hell, Diego?” 

“Give it to me.” 

“I threw it away.” 

“You what?”

“You’re a dumbass,” Y/N grumbles as she rubs at her temples. The glimmer of the Wisp changes slightly as she does, intensity ebbing and flowing with the pressure on her temples. Like angry waves on a stormy coast. She misses the glare Diego sends both of her forms. 

“Look, I knew that if you found it on Mom, you'd lose your shit,” Diego explains. “Just like you're doing right now.” 

Y/N shook her head. This meeting was going nowhere fast. She shifted her attention to the Wisp and decided to search for Five. She barely registers the continuing conversation, giving it just enough attention that she couldn't be accused of ignoring it all.

“Diego, you son of a bitch.”  

“Hey, no,” Viktor tries, “Calm down. Look, I know Dad wasn't exactly an open book. But I do remember one thing he said. Mom was, well, designed to be a caretaker, but...also as a protector.” 

“What does that mean?” 

Viktor explains, “She was programmed to intervene if someone's life was in jeopardy.” 

“Well, if her hardware is degrading, then…We need to turn her off,” Luther states. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,” Diego starts. “She's not just a vacuum cleaner you can throw in a closet. She feels things. I've seen it!” 

“She just stood there, Diego, and watched our father die.” 

“I'm with Luther,” Allison tells them. 

“Surprise, surprise.” Diego snarks. 

“Shut up,” Allison glares. 

They look at Viktor. “I... I don't…” 

“Yeah,” Diego doesn’t let her finish. “He shouldn't get a vote.”

“Wh... “ Luther starts.

“I was gonna say that I agree with you,” Viktor points out. 

“Okay,” Diego accepts, “He should get a vote.”  

“What about you, stoner boy? What do you got?” They look to Klaus.

“Oh, so, what? You need my help now? Oh, 'Get out of the van, Klaus!' 'Well, welcome back to the van'."

“What van?”

“What's it gonna be, Klaus?” Luther asks.

“I'm with Diego, because screw you!” Klaus glares at Luther. “And if Ben were here, he'd agree with me.”

“So far, that's three to two.” 

They look at Y/N, but she says nothing.

“Y/N?” Luther calls to her, and when she doesn’t respond, he asks, “Where’s the Wisp?”. 

“What?” Allison looks around. “Not here.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Diego seethes. He can see the faint blue glow under her eyelids. 

“Hey!” Allison shouts as Diego grips their sister’s shoulder and violently shakes it. He fails to duck out of the way when a fist hits his chest, landing him on the floor.

“Asshole,” Y/N mutters as she gets up, flexing her fingers as she does. 

“Were you listening?” Luther asks.

Y/N glares at him. “You doubting me too?” 

She steals Klaus’ booze and takes a swig, earning a laugh from her usually inebriated brother. “Easy, Sunshine,” Klaus says with a grin. “Where’ve you been?”

“Looking for Five,” she pats his cheek as she answers. “So we can end this pointless discussion.”

“Successful mission or no?” Klaus asks with a tilt of his head as she takes another drink before handing it back to him.

“Sadly, I was rudely interrupted.” She glares at Diego.

“You are such a bitch,” Diego grits out from clenched teeth. She ignores him. 

“But did you-” Luther starts on topic again. 

“I heard you, Luther, unlike either of you fellas,” she gestures between Luther and Diego. “I can use both my brain cells.”

“You know what-” Diego starts at her, gesturing with his knife.

“No,” she begins with a sharp tone as four versions of the Wisp cage him in. He freezes. He can feel the intense heat surrounding him. “It’s my turn to vote.”

“Whoa,” Allison says in shock.

“Y/N,” Viktor moves towards her. “I don’t think that’s…”

“I’ve got this V,” Y/N slowly walks in a circle around Diego, just outside the Wisps’ blazing boundary, as it shifts, and he is enhaloed in a ring of light. It twists and coils around him. He feels like he’s surrounded by hellfire. “You want to know my vote, hmm? Fine,” the next part comes out almost saccharine sweet. “I heard your little chat with Mom. She didn’t even remember Reginald Hargreeves was dead at his memorial. She acts like he is just out of town. She has no clue what is happening. I think Mom needs a bit of a time-out or a nap. Isn’t that what she would have us do? Considering she is clearly so out of sorts.” It looked like Diego was going to take a swing at her despite the Wisps.

“That’s new,” Klaus states, somewhat in awe.

“When did she learn that?” Viktor inquires.

“Does it matter?” Allison asks. “She needs to stop!”

“Let him go, Y/N,” Luther says.

“Whatever you say, Number One,” she acquiesces and takes a few steps back before pulling back most of her powers between her open palm until it resembles a large orb she wills down in size. She keeps it there for a moment before letting it shift to its usual form and place behind her. Her everpresent coruscating companion.  

Allison sighs at the dramatics. “Are you trying to burn the place down?”

“I know what I’m doing, Allison,” she replies. 

“So it’s three to three,” Viktor says, trying to shift the focus back to the main topic before his sisters start to fight. 

“Five will have to be the tiebreaker,” Luther admits.

“A vote we’d get done a lot faster if someone had let me finish my search,” Y/N complains. 

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Viktor says.

Y/N goes to leave without saying another word. 

"Hey!" Diego snaps and follows her. “What the hell was that?!”

"Something I haven’t done in a very long time.”

“You had no-”

“No what, Diego? No right? That’s funny because you can’t be serious. I have every right to be mad. Just like they do. You lied to them, to me. You hid this from them, from me! Let me guess, you don’t even think you did anything wrong, do you?” 

“I was protecting, Grace,” Diego grits out.

“I defended you,” she pokes him in the chest. "You know that?”

"What?" He glares as he swats her hand away. 

"At the gym, before you got there, even earlier today. I told Luther you didn't have anything to do with this. That it couldn’t be you. And yeah, you didn't kill him, but why hide it? Especially after he found out you were in the ring that night. I told him I trusted you, even if you hate me."

"Will you stop saying I hate you!" Diego shouts.

Her jaw dropped momentarily before closing with an audible click of her teeth, and her eyes flash red. But Diego continues his tone a touch less angry, "Does it frustrate the hell out of me when you don't listen, hell yes. Or how you never consider your own safety and choose to focus on everyone else's? Absolutely. Or when you push yourself so far past your limits you look like a shell of your usual self? Damn right it does. But I don't hate you. Never have. I hate that you won't let me explain or even help without you fighting me."

"That's rich coming from you,” she says with an eye roll. “How many times since we got here have you literally screamed you don't want my help."

"Really?” He crosses his arms. “We're going to do this now?"

"Yes, because you don't trust me."

"That's not true!"

"You don't even trust me to protect myself when I'm the Wisp. In the courtyard-"

"That is because I know you push yourself too hard when you're in a fight. You always do. And you are out of practice. And sure, in that meeting, you came out swinging, but in the courtyard? Your focus was on Five's portal, on looking after us, and you didn't even react when I touched you. Not a flinch, not a move to block. Nothing. That’s why I shook you so hard this time. Before, you were leaving just enough in your actual body to keep breathing. What was I supposed to do?"

"I knew you all wouldn't do anything that put me in danger. I knew you wouldn't hurt me,” she tells him. “No matter how much you-"

"I swear if the next words out of your mouth are that I hate you, I might-" He points his finger at  her. And it’s like the anger bleeds out of her. Exhaustion creeping in from manifesting first multiple full-formed Wisps, but then the halo ring for the first time in years. She sways on her feet slightly. On instinct, Diego reaches out to steady her, one hand on her shoulder.

"Point taken, Okay?” She nods. ”Next fight, I'll focus differently."

"Need a hand-to-hand combat refresher, you know where to find me, but it's not just that, okay? If you're going to use your little lights to follow us again, don't scramble your brain too much. I know you're going to keep doing it, just don't push it."

"You've been talking to Luther, haven't you?"

"That too, but the others might not notice when you follow them around with your little lights, but I do. And yeah, you both straight-up confirmed that. I'm shocked you didn't see me toss the monocle. I went to the donut shop crime scene right after. Part of why I was shocked you were defending me."

She punched his shoulder. "Then why didn't you tell me?"

"You were too busy lecturing me to get a word on."

"You're such a jerk."

"Just to you, Luz."

"That's a new one," she grinned.

"Well, if we're supposed to get along, I can't very well call you Bruja anymore."

When she hears the start of a scuffle, Y/N splits into the Wisp and is in the thick of it before she even knows what is really happening. Bullets flying has her transferring enough of her mind back for her body to hit the floor before putting most of her focus back into her illuminated form. Moving to immediately back Diego up and trying to draw as much of the focus on the Wisp as possible. Shoot at her in that form all they want, even if they could. The main issue was these opponents seemed smart enough not to fall for her usual tricks. Especially when she realizes that Klaus and Viktor could be caught in the middle of it all. So she resorted to some older tactics, some of the first ones she learned. Klaus had always called it the flash and crash. Use the Wisp to blind one of the attackers and tackle them from behind. She gave her brother just enough warning to shield his eyes before the Wisp turned blindingly bright, and she went for the masked assailant's knees and panting a superheated fist against the masked face. Earning a litany of curses from Diego as she did. But he was right back at it, using his powers to keep his sister out of his blade's path as he did. He fought back the instinct to put himself between her and the fight but could tell she had actually listened to his earlier advice. Flames in her eyes matched the smoke coming off almost any hit she landed. Even singed the wall when she pushed off in an attempt to get a better angle to attempt to take out the gun. But that earned her a shout from Diego when the barrel of it trained a little too close to her torso for his liking, and a bullet nicked her arm as she dodged. A grunt of pain and shock has her pulling back and ducking into a doorway. She hears her name called before an angry noise from Diego. He was beyond done by that point. Throwing blade after blade to distract and hopefully overwhelm the gunman. He missed the way Y/N tore at the fabric of her sleeve, the fabric burning ever so slightly as she did. She let the Wisp take form and allowed her to split her attention to making sure nothing worse came her way while she dealt with the injury. Most of her heat faded as she wrapped the fabric around the wound and secured it enough before pulling her powers back to her and getting back into the fight. Diego and the fight were no longer right outside the door by the time she was sure the makeshift bandage was secure, and she was ready to get back out there. She goes looking for the fight but finds Viktor hiding in the process. Viktor pulls away as violently as Y/N stops in front of V. “Shit, V,” Y/N says, willing the heat out of her left hand, so she can get a better look at her sibling's injury. “You're okay, V. I've got you. If you want I can-”

“Do it,” Viktor nods, wanting to prove that he can handle this stuff. 

“Okay, but this is going to hurt like a bitch, and it only works on surface injuries. You sure?"

"Yeah, we're wasting time," Viktor says.

"Okay, V, brace yourself.” Viktor bites down on a sleeve as she superheats a fingertip and, as fast as humanly possible, closes the small wound on Viktor’s head.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Y/N repeats before letting the Wisp take all her heat with her into its form. “Let me check.” She brushes Viktor’s hair out of the way and nods. Letting her hand rest against Viktor’s forehead to help calm them both ever so slightly. “We should-” They both startle at the sound of the chandelier crashing and running toward the foyer. They are both momentarily stunned when they see Luther before he runs off. Allison goes over to Viktor, and Diego pulls Y/N aside.  

"Let me see," Diego insists, quickly using one of his knives to remove the bloody fabric from her wound as soon as the shock of Luther's reveal wore off. 

"It's a bad scratch," she tries to downplay the fact she barely missed getting shot in the side. She pulls away. "I can take care of it." 

"It's a gunshot wound," he corrected.

"Wait, what?" Viktor says, coming over to look at his sister's arm. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

"I'm fine," Y/N assures them as Allison joins them. The siblings don't miss the grumbled curses from Diego before he storms off. "If I could, I'd have done the same thing I did to your head." 

Allison looks at Viktor's injury and adds, “You should put some ice on that.” 

Viktor nods, wincing slightly as he does but focuses back on Y/N. "But that doesn't work on skin that's used to being superheated, does it?”

"Nope," Y/N replies before hissing in pain as Viktor carefully wipes away some of the ash from the burned sleeve to keep it from getting into the open wound. 

"Sorry," Viktor winces.

"It's okay, V at least I could help you, although it probably hurt more helping than if I had left it. If I had known the fight would be over that quick, I’d have-"

“Diego?” Allison asks when he returns, and he is still furious. He tosses a first aid kit onto the table toward his siblings. 

“What are you still doing here?” He says to Viktor. 

“I'm just trying to help,” Viktor admits, reaching for the kit to attempt to help the sister that had helped them. 

Y/N recognizes the look Diego has. “Please, Diego,” she cautions him.

He ignores her and continues to focus on Viktor. “No, you could've been killed. Or gotten any of us killed. He is a liability.” He looks between his Allison and Y/N. 

Viktor looks at Allison. “Allison?” 

“I think what he's trying to say is that this kind of stuff is dangerous,” Allison says. “You're just…”

“Not like you,” Viktor finishes for her. He sets the first aid kit back down.

“V, it's…” Y/N tries to say something at the same time Allison says. “No, that's not what I... Viktor, wait.” But Viktor is already leaving.

“Let him go,” Diego tells them. “It's for the best.”

“Says who?! You?!” Y/N snaps. "I miss the meeting where you became Number One or something?"

“You know I’m right,” Diego attempts not to lose it. He knew she and Viktor were closer than he was with either of them. He also knew she was exhausted before getting shot. So he tried to keep his wits about it.

“He’s injured, Diego! And you just drove him away! What if he-”

“You’re injured too, and unlike him, you still have an open wound.” He retorts.

“He needs our help!” 

"He’ll survive. He is safer as far away from all this as can be. And you!” Diego finally shouts. What happened to your two brain cells huh? You still using them," he turns on Y/N. "When I told you to be more aware of your actual body in a fight I did not mean for you to just throw yourself at a gun!"

"I am just as trained in this as you are. I had it covered."

"You got shot!" 

"Would you prefer I left my physical self unattended while those assholes shot through the walls?"

"No!"

"Then pick a fucking lane, Diego! You can't have it both ways! And I sure as hell am not backing out of a full-on assault of my own home just because you want me to! So quit yelling at me!"

She rubbed at her temples as the last bit of adrenaline seemed to fade from her system. She stormed off, taking the first aid kit with her so she could patch up her arm.

Y/N isn’t sure how long she sits in her room. Too exhausted to keep track but too on edge to actually sleep. She wasn’t sure what to do. Her head hangs low as she sits on her bed and leans against the wall. She looks up when through the Wisp that hovers near the center of the room, she sees shadows move outside her door. She sighs as she hears a knock on her doorframe. “It’s open,” she greets. 

The door opens, and Luther asks, "How's the arm?" 

"I've had worse," she assures him. He gives her a skeptical look. "We dealt with enough dicey shit as kids that we both know this is nothing."

"Didn't seem like nothing to Diego from what I hear," he counters.

"Diego was acting like I took a fatal hit," she grumbled. "Though I'm not the one that took a whole ass chandelier." She narrows her gaze at him. "Are you okay?"

"Barely a scratch," he deflects. 

"Luther, I'm not going to push, and you don't have to tell me anything, but…" she saw him physically flinch like she burned him as she spoke. "Is this…is this why you were worried about me checking in on you with my powers?"

"A bit," he admits.

"Because you know I don't care, right? Like, I know what it's like to be the one that gets stared at and whispered about for being…well, a freak. Not that I think you're a freak. I know that you guys think the Wisp is freaky. I know you guys think it's even more unnatural than most of your guys' powers. Ben always got that. Polar opposites powers wise, and he at least could hide his but-"

"You're not a freak,” Luther says, rather bluntly, “Okay?"

She rolled her eyes at that.

"No more than the rest of us ever were,” he adds. “Or at least when we were kids. This is not coming off right," he groans and moves to stand beside the glowing form and gestures to it. "This was never a bad thing, especially not when we were little. You literally lit up a room when you walked in. Always warm, and so…" he frowned at the way her shoulders seemed to shift, and it was like he was watching her close herself off. He groaned again and moved to sit somewhat carefully next to her on the bed. "No one came back from losing Ben, well, you know that, right? You are just the one that has a big flashing, what you call, a neon sign, of what's going on in your heart. It's like a mood ring on steroids. You get mad and glow red. And so bright it's like staring at the sun and standing too close to a forest fire. It's just tough sometimes because it's always blue nowadays. And we know there's nothing we can do to change that. Nothing I can do. I can't bring Ben back. I can't take away the pain of the shit dad put you through. And I can't make Diego less of an asshole." That earned him a laugh and made him grin. "So yeah, it isn't always easy to know there isn't anything I can do. We aren't kids that can just pull pranks or make stupid jokes to make ourselves feel better anymore. But the Wisp doesn't make you any different, any freakier than we were when we were kids. And as you keep pointing out, you're still my sister. Still the same person that refused to listen to half my orders if you think someone needs you."

"Exactly, you're still my brother. You're just even more so my big brother." She grinned. “Really big, big brother.”

"We're the same age, Y/N," he deadpans. 

"Sure, Number One," she shook her head.

“Fine, then as your big, big brother, I say you get some sleep. You look like a strong breeze could take you out.”

“Wanna fight me on that?” She grinned. 

“I would, but you’re injured, so I’ll take the L on that one,” he chuckles.

“Fine, I’m kicking you out,” she conceded. “But only because you asked so nicely.”

“Deal,” Luther stands and heads back to the door. 

“Luther?” she calls before he closes her door.

“Yeah?” 

“Glad you found your other brain cell. You were a badass from what I hear.”

He huffs a laugh. “Sleep, or you might lose yours.”

[wonderlandmind4]

i've returned to talk about daredevil AHA, i swear to fucking god i WILL SUE I WILL SUE FUCKING KEVIN FIEGE I WILL SUE THE WRITERS omg i just needed foggy and Karen back AND THIS IS WHAT I GET OMG IM NOT BELIEVING IT FOR A SECOND BRUH

Hi friend!! I’ve missed you.

Okay so. I am holding onto hope that:

1- The first half of the season (if that rumor of the first part being episode 1-9 are true) will be when the blip happened and during the blip, which would give the excuse and reason for Foggy and Karen NOT being there. It’s now seeming like Matt never got snapped away- which I would LOVE to see how they do that with his senses cuz that shit would be so so tragic in Matt’s pov having no idea what’s happening and nothing he can do to do stop it- so Matt doesn’t get snapped, but Karen and Foggy do- so their firm….is also gone. It would be too painful for Matt to continue that business without them.

Due to these reasons and pain and guilt and PAIN and Matt, because he’s Matt, will somehow blame himself for not helping in a battle he had no idea was happening and stopping it. He may go into a depression again, maybe this is where and when he meets Kirsten or something. But during the 5 years of the blip, he decides to work for/with another firm, or start a new one again.

2- Again if the rumor is true and the second part of the season is episodes 10-18, maybe that’s when End Game happens and everyone comes back. (I don’t think Born Again was even close to finising that first half of filming before the WGA Strike so reaaalllyyy, maybe there’s wiggle room here once selfish studios pay writers and actors what they deserve and more and filing starts again whenever that will be)

But my theory and some other fans theories, that the second part will be AFTER the Blip, and they can do a little time jump if they want or flashbacks or something idk. Let’s not forget in She-Hulk Matt actually looked and seemed happy, in a good place, at times lighthearted and having fun and THE SAME WITTY CHARMING ASS (i say fondly) HE IS (that didn’t change) with Jen and he even says “we” talking about his firm and Matt has always kinda been against bigger/giant law firms because most of the lawyers that work at those places tend to be more corrupt and not have the clients best interests at heart. Maybe if he joined a bigger firm during the blip there would be some conflict there.

And after, this would be A great reason and opportunity to bring back Foggy and Karen and could potentially start up their business again, or at least get Foggy to join the firm, OR they have a little branch under the bigger firm. The point is, they could use the second part of the season to bring back Nelson and Page.

And Matt’s words to Jen sounds more like he has Foggy back in his life and he’s still in a pretty good place. You don’t think Foggy would get an absolute kick out of Matt having a one night stand with She-Hulk!? He’s be so proud and cracking joke’s because “she literally spanked your ass twice” 😂 (Kevin if you’re reading this…)

3- After seeing Charlie Cox at two cons and meeting him twice, I firmly and 100% believe he has somewhat of a voice in some decisions for Born Again. The studio KNOWS this show or “reboot” or continuation wouldn’t be possible or the same without Charlie. Kevin knew that. And the reaction Charlie/Matt got in NHW PROVED how much the entire fandom loves him as Daredevil. So, I feel like his input and opinions are valued. Which makes me hopefully guess/theorize that Charlie has at least spoken to someone about bringing back Elden and Deborah. And I know Vincent really loved Deborah as Karen too, and I feel like he would also have a say because you just can’t change him as Fisk either. Same with Jon as the Punisher.

So again, I am holding out for being hopeful and not truly believing anything until it’s in the actual episodes I watch. It’s marvel, we have to remember that, they lie and gaslight fans all the time and try to convince the fans what’s not true and what is. So a twitter account from “sources” is a little harder to believe.

I have nothing against Deborah Ann-Woll or her as Karen because I actually loved Karen. But 99% of the heart in Daredevil was Foggy and his relationship with Matt. To not have AT LEAST Foggy be in the show at some point is utterly ridiculous. Matt’s not suddenly going to have a new best friend who truly gets and understands every single side of him and knows his past and martyr tendencies like Foggy. Matt isn’t just gonna straight up trust others and tell them he’s also Daredevil (Jen literally just ripped his mask off but he had no intention of telling her know)

And honestly, just as no one else but Charlie Cox could play and be Matt/Daredevil, no one else but Elden Henson can be and play Foggy. I just don’t think that amazing heart of Foggy’s can be the same without Elden.

Wow that was long and it’s 3:45am so I’ll step off now.

[wolfsbane-if]

ahhhh, I started this if today, and I'm right now with Maverick loose trigger and IDK what to doooo, im so bad choosing because there can be so many variables ahhh

I mean, the most logic path would be kill him, then there shouldn't be any problem with the bastard trying to hunt them down, but at the same time, who can tell us he has not people protecting him? and then, when they known about the incident they try to revenge him? Maybe even the town could be in danger?

But the same thing can be told if you dont kill him, what if he tries to follow Mc's trace and discover the place where the sweet sweet girl is trying to learn magic (with her teachers) and kills everyone?

But… maybe if you can teach him that not because there are beings that traditionally people see as bad, they MUST be bad, and the first input in this ideology is when MC (in my case a mage) with a vampire and werewolf spare his life.

BUUUUUTTTT his personality doesn't fit in the spectrum of "hey, lets stay in a open-minded state" and now im stressing myself with this HAHAHAH

All excellent points to consider! I did do my best while writing to include some nuanced and sometimes difficult choices in the story, but while it's very gratifying to see people putting so much thought into them, try to remember that there's never a "wrong" choice -- it's all in service of telling (what I think is) an interesting story!

If you're really struggling to make a call, I can always recommend saving the game and trying each choice out to see which outcome you like the most. You're correct that there could be consequences down the line for either decision, but perhaps just seeing the immediate results will help guide you towards one path for the other -- and if you end up not liking the ramifications in the future, you can always go back and replay it.

For me personally, half the fun of IF is seeing how things change with your choices, and that's part of why I don't ever plan on publishing my work through the official channels - losing the ability to save and load would take so much of the enjoyment out. If that's not your style though and you'd rather pick one choice and commit to it, I can offer one piece of meta information to help assuage some of your worries:

Neither the people of Katja's home town nor the people of Adderstod (where Pamina, the teacher lives) will be in danger as a direct result of your choice to kill Maverick or not.

Hope that helps!

[huggingkoalas]

hi, lumi!

i've been scrolling through your blog since you reblogged a fic of mine and i just wanted to check out — then i saw your vent post. i thought a lot before even considering sending you this, but i'd regret if i didn't do so.

just wanted to say: a few days ago i wrote a fic for Natasha (which was just an excuse) saying everything i am going through as well, the suicidal thoughts, the self harm, i just put everything there and posted. but a few hours later i deleted it since i was too scared and honestly, ashamed to show people that, let them read it.

you're so damn brave and strong for telling that, for strangers especially. i'm honestly tearing up right because i also desperately need help but can't ask for it. i relate to you. so much. i'm tired, don't know how much time i've got before everything falls apart. and i like writing because i don't have anyone else to share my thoughts with or to "lose to the writing".

i hope you hold on in there. i'm far away, and i may not be able to help through the screen, but if you ever need it, i'm here. i am i got a few little good advices and i'm here to listen. xx

hello sweetheart <3

thank you so much for sending me an ask! honestly i’m open to having any conversation with anyone through asks, the asks i get mostly mean no harm and i love sharing my own input/thoughts with other people :3

aww, yeah. i understand putting your feelings into words, especially in writing. it’s why two of my current-ish works, “loss and love” and “out of love” are more... sad than the usual work i put out. i guess you can say that they were vent fics for me.

i can imagine how scary it is to put your feelings into words, and then put it out publicly for everyone. but it takes real bravery to do it, and im so proud of you! i hope you know that even if you aren’t satisfied of a work you put out, there’s definitely someone out there that appreciates it :)

and also, it’s just... sad, that most writers nowadays are really scared of the reader’s reactions/comments to their work. that the amount of likes or repost you get matter more. i struggle with it too, of course, i’d like to think that every writer does, but fully realizing that you’re writing for YOURSELF and not for other people, lifts a weight off your shoulders. no one else’s opinions about your work matter, sweetheart.

i hope one day that i’ll have the chance to read it :) i hope you have the bravery to post it once again, and i’ll be there cheering you on from the sidelines again! i love any fics that have to deal with angst. becauss it just shows that even our favourite characters deal with sadness. it’s like they’re just human — like us, too.

dealing with negative thoughts can take such a toll on the mental health. i don’t really think i’m brave or strong tbh. i’m just someone trying my best to survive a cruel world :)

it’s hard to ask for help at first, but taking the first step into talking about your feelings, just with a “hey, can i tell you something that’s been bothering me?” feels so fulfilling, in a way.

and yeah, i agree that it’s hard to talk to someone especially when you don’t have that someone. and i’d like to offer you a lending/helping hand. i may just some random stranger in the internet, but i’m here for you, sweetheart. my dms (and asks) are always open if you need someone to talk to or just need some advice. i wish i could give you the biggest bear hug right now, you definitely deserve it after everything you’ve been through.

and thank you for reaching out to me. i hope you hold on too. i guess it’s just... even when everything seems hopeless, there’s always something or someone to hold on to. just... go easy on yourself, alright? we’re flawed, after all. just be patient and learn to love and take care of yourself. breathe, and take things slow.

i’m happy that there’s someone out there, too, that’s there for me. i’m here for you too, if you ever need some advice and/or comfort. thank you for such a sweet and impactful message, sweetheart. remember to eat properly and hydrate yourself, alright? <3 :)

it’s 4am right now so i genuinely apologize if it seems like i’m rambling and/or my messages don’t make sense. </3

[chaotic-archaeologist]

all the specialists say my body pain is mechanical with no discernible cause. which means my body hurts because my body is weak because im lazy and dont exercise. so i started and tried really hard for one year without letting up and it didn't help and now they say i should try harder.

also im not american and we have universal healthcare without referrals so i could and did just go directly to specialists and super specialists in pain related stuff and they all said this. do i believe them and if i dont where do i go because these are the specialists

sorry about this you're the only disabled person i know and i didnt know who else to ask. everyone else just says i should try harder and ths pain will stop. what should i do

Okay, I have a lot of things that I want to say, but first and foremost among them is this: your pain is valid. It doesn't matter if doctors claim that it "doesn't have a physical cause" because the only thing that matters is that you are in pain. I believe you. I believe that you are in pain, and that it is making your life extremely difficult. You should not need to try harder to deserve to not be in pain. Let's talk about what you can do.

I think you need to fire your doctors.

Would you keep taking your car to a mechanic who told you that the rattling noise your car keeps making isn't a big deal because they can't find the cause? You've tried fuel additives and having the oil changed, but this mechanic keeps recommending the same things that didn't help.

No, you would go out there and find a mechanic who would be willing to run a series of diagnostic tests, who will listen to your input about the car you know pretty well because you drive it every single day. A mechanic who is willing to think outside the box in terms of problems and solutions.

You deserve the same sort of medical care. Unfortunately, doctors/mechanic like this can be few and far between, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. The single best thing you can do for yourself right now is find someone who will provide you with compassionate and comprehensive care.

The one piece of advice that comes to my mind might not apply, outside of the US, but I'll share it anyway. The next time one of these doctors tells you that you need to do xyz to feel better, request some diagnostic tests for your symptoms. Do some research be able to request specific tests. If they refuse, ask them to note your request and their refusal in your medical chart. Do not leave the office until you have a hard copy of this chart to take with you. Often, when it becomes clear that you won't back down, they will give in and order the tests. If not, you now have the paperwork you need to file a complaint and begin the process of getting a new doctor.

I wish that I could write you a step by step guide for how to go about this, but I can't. Find yourself a family member or close friend who can help you advocate for yourself at doctors visits. Trust your bullshit meter, and if you feel like a medical professional isn't listening to you, walk out. Do some research about your symptoms and conditions that you might have, including tests and treatments. Find online communities of people with similar ailments. Do not give up hope.

Reading this message brought me to tears because I can hear the heartbreak and desperation in your tone. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. Your pain should not be minimized by the people who are supposed to help you. I hope that you are able to find some peace and solutions. My heart goes out to you.

-Reid

As always, anyone who has something they want to add is welcome to chime in.

[too-gay-for-marvel]

just this once pt.5

a/n: yall. yall im on a roll. and no i will not apologise for anything that happens in this chapter. also, still learning how to do taglists so if it doesn’t work or you weren’t included, send me a message and i’ll try to get it fixed!

Word Count: 4,285 

Warnings: canon typical violence, non-explicit mentions of torture, mutant experimentation

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

(pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6.1 pt.6.2 pt.6.3 pt.7 pt.8)

“I think Fury is giving you a sign.”

Natasha looked up from her paperwork to see Maria leaning against the door frame to her office. She herself had just gotten back from a mission, evident in her slightly mused ponytail and gun still on her hip. A very beyond attractive look, if Natasha had to say it.

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked, leaning back in her chair to give her full attention to her fiancee.

“So he didn’t tell you,” Maria said with a nod. She pushed herself off the door frame and moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

“I’ll admit that gives me a clue,” Natasha said with a small frown. She didn’t like where this was going.

“He’s sending you on another mission,” Maria replied. “With Y/N.”

“I thought we told him emergencies only,” Natasha mused more to herself than to Maria.

It seemed like Nick was sending the both of you on every mission he could possibly come up with. He needed some information. Then he wanted the layout of a base. Then he wanted some recon on security in another location. All were things that Natasha not only could have done with someone else, but she could have gotten them done on her own.

He seemed to think differently.

“He wants you to leave tomorrow,” Maria continued, bringing Natasha out of her pouting. “Personnel recovery.”

“At least that gives us a few hours together,” Natasha said with a small smile.

“Maybe we can finally get some planning done,” Maria nodded as she stood up. “Maybe a colour scheme?”

“Red and black,” Natasha shot back.

“We’ll argue about it later,” Maria smiled. She walked over and tilted Natasha’s chin up to give her a quick kiss before leaving the office, presumably to get cleaned up.

Natasha looked down at her paperwork for not even five minutes before deciding she was going to rush upstairs and surprise Maria in the shower. She had just started piling the papers up when you walked in, harpoon on hip and soaking wet.

“Did you ask Fury for another mission?” You asked as you plopped into the chair opposite her, water instantly dripping down the sides of the seat.

“No,” Natasha said curtly, hoping she could get you out of her office sooner if she didn’t invite conversation.

“Then why is he sending us together?” You asked. Your fingers started combing through your hair, the webs gathering whatever was stuck. Drops of water splashed onto Natasha’s pristine papers.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said again, turning her lip up when you put a piece of seaweed on her desk.

“I thought you knew everything,” you huffed, staring intently as a shell you had pulled out of your suit sleeve.

“Well clearly not,” Natasha mumbled to herself.

You leaned over to rest your elbows on the desk, your dripping wet hair leaving puddles on the mahogany and her papers. Natasha set her jaw and gave you a look, keeping eye contact. But your eyes gave off that mischievous sparkle, the one that would make any woman swoon. And Natasha’s heart raced.

“Think I can get that in writing?” You asked with a raised brow. “You know, for the next time you act like a know-it-all.”

“Did you just come in here to act like an ass?” Natasha asked as she picked her papers up and started walking out.

“Actually,” you started as you pushed away from the desk and stood up, “I’m here to bring you this.”

You held your open hand out, palm up, and Natasha looked cautiously to see what it was. In the middle of your palm was a whole shell, with a small black pearl in the centre. It looked absolutely stunning, and Natasha reached out to gently take it.

“Why did you bring this to me?” Natasha asked, although she feared she already knew your answer.

“Cheeseburger found the shell the other day,” you shrugged, “and Roger got the pearl out.”

Natasha did her best not to chuckle at the silly names you had given the octopus and otter that usually inhabited your moon pool. Cheeseburger, the octopus, had lost two limbs and had a nasty habit of stealing your cheeseburgers (hence the name), while Roger was an in-progress rehabilitation project. Unfortunately, the three of you were like peas in a pod.

“It’s beautiful,” Natasha mused, her eyes still glued to the pearl. “But I can’t take this home to my fiancee.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. The space between the both of you increased as you visibly took a step back, and Natasha missed the closeness. Things had seemed normal only a moment ago, and now she could feel you closing yourself off to her, going cold once again.

“Then give it to Maria,” you shrugged. “Get some brownie points before going off on another mission with her favourite person.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Natasha shot back. “I just don’t want to waste your gift.”

“It was just cluttering up my space,” you replied, voice cold.

“Give it to Yelena,” Natasha said softly, holding the shell and pearl back out for you to take. “She would love it.”

“Yelena,” you huffed with a small smile. A sad smile. You grabbed the shell from her hand rather roughly, causing Natasha to flinch. “Thanks for the input.”

“Y/N,” Natasha started, but you were already walking away in the opposite direction, head high and feet dragging.

Natasha sighed and started her own way back to her floor. She wanted Maria to distract her. From you.

———

“What’s our objective again?” You shouted from the back of the quinjet.

“Personnel recovery,” Yelena answered. “Some scientist wanted out of AIM.”

“Why is that my responsibility?” You continued. Your boots echoed off the floor and you popped your head in between Yelena’s and Natasha’s chairs.

“Because something smelled-”

“Don’t,” Natasha interrupted.

“-fishy,” Yelena finished anyway, and both you and Natasha groaned as she just laughed at herself.

“I’m not paid enough for this,” Natasha mumbled to herself before turning her head and looking out the windows.

“I’ll throttle you,” you said as you lightly slapped Yelena upside the head.

“Listen,” she tried to say around another round of giggles, “if Fury ever told me his plans, I wouldn’t be stuck here with you two.”

“Well why don’t you find out? I wanna know why he’s sending me on this mission.”

“I already told you, I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know? Surely you must have some kind of-”

“Can you both shut up?” Natasha shouted. The both of you grew silent immediately, and Natasha finally let out a breath and tried to rub her growing migraine away.

“Should’ve just sent Nat,” you grumbled. “She’s grumpy enough to scare everyone away all on her own.”

Yelena snorted, and when Natasha shot a look her way, she tried her best to look out the window. You, on the other hand, held up to her challenge and met her eyes. That ridiculous smirk refused to disappear, and Natasha wanted so desperately to wipe it off your face. But instead she just turned back around and looked out the window once again.

The rest of the trip was silent, only the occasional update being spoken aloud. Yelena managed to drop the both of you off and stayed in the jet, more than ready for when you both got back and could get back to the Tower for a well-deserved weekend.

It was a quick jog to the location, with tents and cages set up all around the landing port. The building was a few stories tall, but well fortified with guards around every corner. The majority of cages were empty, but every now and then you could hear a bear, a dog, a human.

“I thought these guys were scientists,” you whispered from where you were crouched beside Natasha.

“They are,” Natasha nodded.

“Must be pretty paranoid then,” you continued.

“You would be too if your work relied on illegal mutant experimentation,” Natasha clarified. You didn’t say anything else, but she could see your knuckles going pale.

“Let’s get our man and go,” you practically growled. “Before I kill them all.”

Natasha knew you weren’t joking.

You both went in opposite directions, you heading to the back door and Natasha heading to the side. There was no guaranteeing that the scientist was even inside at all, but that was the easiest place to check. There was too much vulnerability outside and Natasha wasn’t going to risk getting caught and failing another mission.

“How are we supposed to find one nerd in a facility full of nerds?” You asked over the intercoms, and Natasha assumed you had made it into the building.

“Be nice,” Natasha whispered, “not all scientists are nerds.”

“Bruce and Tony are,” you replied. Natasha pulled herself against a wall when she heard voices. “Everyone here is.”

“Hush,” Natasha whispered. You remained silent as Natasha listened to footsteps getting closer, and then turning into the opposite direction. She let out a quiet breath.

“Do we really want to help someone who’s torturing mutants?” You asked again, a barely contained anger in your voice.

Natasha rounded another corner, trying to come up with an answer for you. You weren’t wrong; she didn’t like the idea either. Why save the scientist when you could save the people instead? But Fury wanted him, and there had to be a reason for it. The location was known, so someone could always come back to save them another day.

“Nick will send us back another day,” Natasha finally said out loud. You huffed on the other end of the comms.

You both continued through the facility, methodically clearing rooms until finally you indicated you had found him. Some wiry man with broken glasses, according to your description. Natasha gave confirmation and headed to the meet up point, somewhere on the second floor. Once Natasha was about to round the corner to the location, she could hear your voice carrying through the halls.

“You’re lucky I don’t wring your neck myself.”

“What’s the problem?” Natasha asked as soon as she saw you.

You were right. The man was wiry and nerdy, something you would expect from a mad scientist in a comic book. White tape was wrapped around the nose piece of his glasses in stereotypical fashion and he was hunched over like the world was resting on his shoulders.

No surprise, considering you were hovering nearly a foot over him.

“He called me an animal,” you seethed, your hands visibly shaking with the desire to have them around the man’s neck.

“Look at your arms and neck, what else could you be?” He asked in a gruff New Jersey accent.

“You want an animal? I’ll show you an-”

“That’s enough,” Natasha demanded. She stepped in between the both of you and pushed you away, not even bothering to get near the man.

“If he has to go with us, then so does one of the mutants,” you said, leaving no room for argument in your voice.

“We can’t risk it, we’re leaving them here,” Natasha said quickly. The hair on the back of her neck was starting to stand up and her stomach felt like it was dropping.

“I’m not leaving them and taking that,” you said through clenched teeth while pointing at the scientist.

“You’re going to risk my life for one of them?” He asked, his face drawn in disgust at the mere thought that his life was equal to a mutant’s. Natasha wanted to strangle him.

“We will come back for them another day,” Natasha said again, but you didn’t look convinced.

“I’m not leaving without them, so you’re gonna have to wait,” you shot back.

Voices could be heard in the stairwell a few halls away.

“And I’m not risking another mission,” Natasha argued, walking closer to you and forcing you to step backward to keep your space.

“If you think I’m taking that and leaving one of those kids then you’re-”

Click.

The both of you froze, your eyes boring into Natasha’s. A heavy silence fell upon the both of you, so thick Natasha struggled to draw breath. Her heart was pounding in her ears and that feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach returned.

And then your eyes left hers, trailing down to the too-tight cuffs that were now keeping you chained to the pipes against the wall. They weren’t the usual police handcuffs, but the kind that they had used on Loki after the invasion of New York.

You weren’t getting out of them.

“Natasha,” you started, your eyes moving back to meet hers.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha whispered. She took one heavy step back, never taking her eyes off of you.

“Unlock them,” you continued. Your chest was starting to rise and fall slightly faster.

“Someone will come for you,” Natasha said again with a slight nod.

Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

“Get back here, Romanoff,” you said as Natasha started leading the scientist down the hall.

Away from you.

She didn’t answer. She just felt her leaden boots take step after step, leading her further away from where you were chained. When she didn’t answer, she heard the sound of metal pulling against metal and your grunts and groans as you tried to yank the cuffs off.

“You can’t leave me here!” You shouted, your voice echoing down the hall after Natasha had turned the final corner.

She heard other voices coming from the same direction as yours, quickly followed by shouting and the solid thuds of blows being landed.

“Natalia!” You shouted again once Natasha had opened the door to lead the scientist out.

Only moments after the door shut, Natasha heard your scream. A scream of anger and frustration, a scream that reached down Natasha’s throat and ripped her heart out. The prick of tears in her eyes left a sinking feeling in her gut, left her feeling empty and a broken shell.

But she had a mission. And she was going to complete it.

She shoved the scientist in the direction of the quinjet and didn’t look back. Ignoring the whining and complaining coming from the man and eventually just throwing him into the back of the quinjet, ignoring the way Yelena jumped at the sudden noise.

“Where’s Y/N?” Yelena asked, moving her head around, trying to see if you were close behind.

“Get us in the air,” Natasha ordered. Tears pricked her eyes once again.

“Are they coming?” Yelena asked again, ignoring Natasha’s order.

“I said get us in the air, now.”

Yelena gave Natasha a look that sent a shiver down her spine, but turned around and got the jet in the air nonetheless. The scientist pulled himself into the seat next to Natasha. He seemed much more relaxed, and Natasha couldn’t blame him. He probably didn’t realise just how much had been risked to get him back to SHIELD.

“You made the right choice,” he said after some unbearable silence. Natasha turned to look at him, her brows pulled together.

“Excuse me?”

“You made the right choice,” he said again with an enthusiastic nod. “You never know what those animals might do-”

He was cut off with a choked gasp as Natasha slammed her elbow into his face, and he quickly lost consciousness.

“Just shut up,” she mumbled to herself, knowing he couldn’t hear her.

It didn’t make her feel any better.

———

It was six weeks before the party had been dispatched to get you back.  The party had consisted of Natasha, Yelena, and Wanda, and there was going to be nothing extra. They were going to get you out and get back to SHIELD, no side missions, no stops, no questions.

Maybe it just so happened that the only way to get you was to burn the facility to the ground and get the rest of the mutants out. Maybe they had called for a second quinjet to arrive to make sure everyone was able to get out safely.

Yelena and Wanda were tasked with getting everyone on the jets and eliminating the few soldiers remaining while Natasha had scoured the facility top to bottom to find you. There was a large portion of the basement that Natasha had found, filled with surgical equipment and things that would have been enough to give anyone nightmares.

And you were there, nude, in a too-small empty glass tank with a chain around your ankle. There were rips and tears in the thin membranes between your spines, and a dark black mark on your left shoulder blade. From her angle, it looked like some kind of gunk was stuck in your gills. You were curled up into a fetal position and kept your eyes glued to the ground directly in front of you.

“Y/N,” Natasha said, her gun still drawn but lowered.

“I should thank you, Miss Romanoff,” a voice called, and Natasha spun with gun raised to find a scientist walk forward, standing near a panel by your tank. “You gave me my greatest obsession.”

“How about you just let them out and I don’t kill you,” Natasha shrugged.

“I’ve learned a lot from our little friend,” he continued, ignoring her. “And you’re in time to see the results of something I’ve been working on.”

“Let them go,” Natasha said again. She cocked the gun, but the man laughed.

“I hear drowning is a horrible way to die,” he said, still ignoring her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Natasha saw you raise your head and look at her. The dark spots under your eyes were beyond evident, sticking out against the sickened colour of your skin. There was no emotion in your eyes, not even a silent plea for help.

You looked like you had already accepted death.

“How long do you think a sea creature can hold its breath underwater before it needs to breathe?” He asked, his fingers typing against the panel.

“Don’t,” Natasha shouted, her trigger finger pulling instinctively and burying a bullet into the man’s chest. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Water started filling your tank, and you stood up to get your head as tall as it could get. Natasha nodded at you once, and you covered your head as she fired shot after shot at the tank. But there wasn’t even a dent, nothing to indicate that the tank could be broken.

“What do I do?” Natasha asked as she ran up to the tank, watching the water slowly rise to your ankles.

You didn’t speak, didn’t open your mouth, instead pointing as best you could to a discrete pipe against the opposite wall. Natasha looked at it and followed the direction until she saw a lone wheel connected to the wall. A wheel that could control the water flow.

“Stay here,” Natasha told you as she ran off, grimacing to herself. It wasn’t like you had anywhere to go.

She grabbed the wheel and pulled, but it didn’t budge. It felt like she was trying to pull a quinjet with her bare hands; an impossible task in and of itself. Her eyes trailed over to see the water had reached your waist. There had to be something else she could get, something to help.

The thud of your hands on the glass made her turn, and you were pointing in another direction. Her eyes followed, but there wasn’t anything she could see that would immediately-

A pipe.

Natasha sprinted to grab it from the table, nearly dropping it in her haste to get back to the wheel. The water was up to your neck, and Natasha could already see that your gills weren’t filtering anything. They stayed terribly still, and Natasha had to drag her feet to get back to the wheel.

She stuck the pipe into the empty spaces of the wheel and pulled, yelling in frustration until it finally moved. She continued pulling until she heard the flow of water stop, and a tired smile etched itself onto her lips as she turned back around to see you.

But the water was over your head, and now she was leaving you to drown.

She couldn’t break the glass; the water was off and you were still drowning. Your eyes were wide, and the fear of the situation finally made its way onto your face as you curled in on yourself and started pulling at the chain around your ankle, air bubbles escaping from your nose at a rapid rate.

Natasha got an idea. She didn’t hesitate as she started pushing the pipe, the flow of water rushing back. Only this time, she didn’t stop until the pipes rattled with the flow, barely able to contain the volume inside. She pushed until the pipe stuck, and she turned and ran back to the tank.

Your eyes were closing, the air bubbles almost nonexistent, your struggle against the chain ending. Natasha started banging on the glass, trying to keep you awake, but you didn’t move, instead just floating, and Natasha felt her heart sink.

The glass creaked under her fingers. Natasha’s eyes shot open and she watched the glass, noting the single crack that started to web across the entirety of the tank. She barely had time to step aside as the glass shattered, water shooting out and leaving you to drop to the ground.

When you didn’t move, Natasha jumped forward, dropping to the ground and immediately starting CPR. She could feel a rib break, maybe two, but she didn’t stop. She wasn’t going to stop until you could breathe. You just needed to fucking breathe-

Your body shuddered as you choked, coughing up water before your eyes shot open. Natasha felt herself let out a shaky breath, but she didn’t let herself rest. She grabbed her gun and shot where the chain was connected to the floor, listening to it break before grabbing you and pulling you up.

“You need to lose some weight,” Natasha groaned as you leaned on her side, your feet barely moving.

You didn’t say a word the whole trip out of the facility. Just managed to  drag yourself out, eventually walking more on your own when you neared the quinjet. Yelena ran up to the both of you and got on your other side, sharing a look with Natasha.

“I’ve got it,” Yelena said in a tone that told Natasha to let go and give her some space.

Natasha did, watching as Yelena finished dragging you to the quinjet and putting you in a seat before wrapping a blanket around your naked form. Your eyes fell back to the ground when Yelena finally got the jet in the air, and you refused to look at anyone when you got back to the Tower, leaving Natasha without a second thought.

———

Natasha was sitting at the bar on the common floor, picking apart her food. She had tried to see you multiple times over the past two weeks, only to be turned away by doctors or Yelena. There was something wrong, but Natasha couldn’t find out because no one would let her.

The ding of the elevator had her turning her head, not necessarily eager but casually curious on who had appeared. To her surprise, Yelena walked out with a McDonald’s bag in hand, some drink in the other. She didn’t look happy, but Natasha could’ve expected that.

After all, Yelena hadn’t forgiven her.

“How are they?” Natasha asked.

“Alive, no thanks to you,” Yelena shot back. But she had stopped and was talking back; that was an improvement from the past two weeks.

“I had a mission,” Natasha said, but her voice was small, weak.

“They were part of that mission,” Yelena answered.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said quietly. She said it to assuage her own guilt. It didn’t work.

“You’re stringing them along,” Yelena said, her voice taking a different tone that Natasha hadn’t been expecting. “Just marry Maria already and end the suffering.”

“I’m not stringing them along,” Natasha defended.

But she knew she was wrong. Yelena was right. And Natasha wasn’t going to stop because what would her life be without you? How could she go about her day-to-day life if she knew you weren’t going to be there in some fashion? Maybe she was in love with Maria and was going to marry her, but that didn’t mean she wanted to throw you away.

“Just be gentle,” Yelena said with a sigh. “Everyone has feelings at stake.”

“And you?” Natasha asked, causing Yelena to freeze. “What feelings do you have at stake?”

A small, sad smile made its way onto her face.

“Desire,” Yelena shrugged, but just like that her demeanour changed. “Y/N said I couldn’t eat before them, and I very much desire this McChicken.”

“You’re disgusting,” Natasha chuckled.

“And this McFlurry. You know the good stuff,” Yelena teased again, causing the both of them to laugh.

“Then go on,” Natasha motioned toward where she assumed you were waiting. “I’d hate for the two of you to starve.”

Yelena gave her a smile, one like the good old days, and continued her walk. She stopped in the doorway and turned around.

“Oh, Fury wanted me to tell you something.” Natasha gave her a look for her to continue. “You and Y/N are going undercover. As a couple.” With that, Yelena continued off, leaving Natasha to deal with the news.

Why couldn’t things ever be easy?

Taglist: @wickedmuses @m-zne237 @noodlybees @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @gottacamz @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday @santasbitch @when-wolves-howl @madamevirgo​ @hopingforromanoff​ 

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!

[bbbrianjones]

stone roses!!!! <- wants to talk about john

oh how did you know that john was my favourite?? is it kinda obvious??

anyway MY BABY!! can u believe i used to be ian girl?? lol what a time to be alive! i can't even remember what/why i was suddenly attracted to john but it might have something to do when i had a literal spirit connection with me one time, and all he did was smile at me <33 true love baby!!

i love john for so many reasons. and i do believe most of it is because he is very much the cutest guy i have ever seen!! the amount of times i have come so close to cutting my hair in the vain attempt to look like him is honestly so embarrassing. but his eyes!!! Oh my god his eyes are beautiful, they are so big and so blue !! also his nose too !! i do have a thing for noses but his really did start a trend i don’t know why !!!! there are some pictures where i just see him and go ‘yeh i’m planning the wedding as we speak’ because he’s just THAT GORGEOUS!!!!! it’s almost ridiculous just how in love I am with him. I swear my head is just constantly filled with thoughts about how nice it would be just… be with him!! now we’re getting into some real sappy shit right here but to hold hands…. touch his hair... stare deep into his eyes until one of us looks away and laughs.... oh my lord. pls!!! also love how much of an annoying little shit he could be. i th ink about that iconic interview and how the ladies trying to get deep and philosophical answers from them and asks ‘well if you’re the best band in the world, why aren’t you number one?’ and john goes “.....well the record isn’t out yet” FUCKING D E S T O R Y  H E R JOHN!!! also that time he said that the royal family were a bunch of cattle farmers… sweetheart 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 on to something else - the second coming. this album does get unfairly marked in music, sure it isn’t as good as their masterpiece first album but it still holds up as an album on its own. it is also very much a “john and the rest” album, because john did pretty much EVERY song on this album and fuck it im gonna defend him a bit. it’s very easy to say that he became a bit of a tyrant during this period, but really he was just being a girlboss in his own little girlboss world. ian didn’t care, reni didn’t care, and mani kinda just went along with it. john was pretty much the only one writing songs at the time, which is why it’s very much an album reminiscent of what he would do with the seahorses. he wanted input from everyone but they wouldn’t give anything or just dismiss it however because no one else had anything better, they had to deal with john and his songs. really honestly if this band had literally just TALKED it would have fixed everything but they were all getting pulled in every direction so it was very hard for them. you can’t help but feel bad for everyone given the circumstances. one last thing, his art!!! i know he gets a bit embarrassed about the art he’s done with the stone roses but he’s just being a baby!!! “antiquated” my ass u silly duckling!!!! his artwork perfectly matches with the vibe of the song, and just helps the stone roses become the kinda cult band they are today… seeing all these people around with a stone roses shirt just makes me so happy it’s what i, a stone roses fan, deserves. 

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[tipsylorie]

Dream Project Pt. 2 {title in progress}

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A/N: Hello guys! Here is the second part of the story I have been working on. My friend @w-h-i-t-e-mochi had read this already and she commented that it might feel a bit dragging. So, Im sorry about that but I just tried to emphasise on how Jayceon Stone acts as her assistant. This is not yet proof read tho so, sorry again. But I came to realisation on how Lee Da Hee would make a great Liviana and to be paired with Lee Jun Ho as Jayceon. Therefore, if you want, they can be your character reference. 

Word Count: 2,300

Before Liviana got to her office, she was greeted by her employees with good mornings, and she greeted them all back with a smile and nod of acknowledgement. Once she arrived at her office, she was welcomed with the young man once again with a smile on his face. “Good morning Liv, I hope you had a goodnight sleep and your first schedule for today is supposedly with the Finance Department of the entertainment, but it seems like you should prioritise the meeting with your potential investor, Mr. Stone.”

Liv can’t help but chuckle with how blunt his assistant was as he immediately stated her schedule for today, so she just replies with, “Woah, what’s the rush Jer? Slowly. I agree on meeting with the investor first so maybe update them that after 45 minutes we are good to see each other at the Casa Royale Hotel. I just need to look through the contract again and see area for negotiation.”

Jayceon is a bit flustered with Liviana’s remark of him seems to be in a rush because this is the first time of him doing such job and he just copied what Dexter usually do as his assistant. So, his response went, “Sorry about that Liv. I just tried to be productive by not stalling any tasks that could’ve already been done. The contract is already sent to your email so just check that and I will call his assistant now. So please excuse me.” After saying the last line, Jayceon exited the office and sat on his desk just outside of it.

~30 minutes later~

“Would you like to come with me Jer?” Liv asked the young man as she exited her office.

“Sure, no problem. I already notified the Financial Department of the meeting being moved an hour later.” Jayceon replied with ease.

“Good job!” She said and high fived him. “Now let’s go.” She continued as she led the way to the parking lot where her driver and car awaits.

~At the Casa Royale Hotel~

“Over here Ms. Voss!” Dexter exclaimed as he waves Liv and Jayce to go to his direction. “Thank you for arranging this meeting Ms. Voss and please do have a seat.” Dexter said as he gestured to the seats vacant for the two and they sat as Dexter continues, “Unfortunately Mr. Stone won’t be able to be here as he is in a 1 week leave due to the transitioning of company rights. I hope that is okay as I am given the Power of Attorney as his proxy for today. He had trusted me that whatever agreements we will be having for today is as good to be his as well. So, no need to be concerned.”  He said the last line with a reassuring voice.

Liviana was taken back a little bit as she was expecting to meet the CEO himself, so she answers, “Oh, alright then. I can say by re-reading the contract before coming here is that it was really detailed and somehow stringent.” Liv’s remarks made the vibe feel tense as Jayceon starts to worry and his secretary noticed the faint change of his facial expression. Fortunately, the young woman who has no idea on what caused the sudden change of vibe smiles and continues to say, “But there is need to worry because I like it that way. It will help us keep things black and white and lessen misunderstandings so, I say we seal the deal right away!” She said the last line with enthusiasm and grabs a pen to sign the document. This made the young CEO relax his tense shoulders and gives a smile of recognition to his assistant that he is satisfied with how the meeting turned out.

The partnership was sealed with the final handshake between Liviana and Dexter. Then all of them bid their goodbyes with a last reminder from the older man that after a week, they will meet again to announce publicly about the merger. Liviana and Jayceon conclusively thanked Dexter and took their leave.

Once they arrived back the LV Entertainment building, Jayceon reminded Liviana of her meeting that will take place in 15 minutes.

“Thanks Jer, I will just grab the needed materials in my office. Oh, you can seat this one out because I don’t think I will need an assistant there. So, you can just grab an early lunch or Brunch if you still haven’t eaten your breakfast.” Liviana informed her assistant.

“But I can totally accompany you since it is my job, and maybe… I can give some inputs if you want.” Jayceon tried to reason because she can feel how Liv is being lenient towards him.

She can sense what her assistant is trying to do, and this made her smile, so she replies, “Do not worry Jer, I am not taking it easy towards you but I really don’t find the need to have you there. I can just message you when I need something or when there is something worth noting. But for now, you can just grab your lunch. Okay?”

Jayceon was satisfied with her reply, so he responded, “Sure Liv. Thanks. I will also just arrange the meetings for later to keep everything smooth sailing.”

This made Liviana say, “That would be amazing. Thank you.” She took her leave to proceed to the conference room.

**Jayceon’s Phone**

Message from Liviana: Check Break Even Analysis

Reply sent: Should I check it Liv, right now?

Liviana forgot to put her phone on mute so everyone in the room heard the chime of notification. This made her say, “Sorry guys, please continue.” Then she sent her assistant another message.

**Jayceon’s Phone**

Message from Liviana: No, I will just spam you of the things I need to do. So there’s no need for you to reply.

Reply sent: Oh, okay. Sorry.

Message from Liviana: I said, do not replyyy 😭

Message from Liviana: TLA each branch financial report last month in conjunction of the Entertainment

Message from Liviana: Bake some Choco Moist Cake for Julie

~After many messages later~

“Thank you so much everyone. We need to find solutions soon to add more income without jeopardising the operating expenses. So, I will be all open with suggestions in my email. Okay guys?” Liv informed her staff and all of them agreed then she ended the meeting.

~Back to her office~

“Why is there food on my table? I didn’t order anything.” Liv thought to herself when her secretary enters her office.

“I bought you some lunch in case you’re hungry. I am not sure what to but so I just bought sandwich and Iced Americano to play it safe. I hope it is fine.” Jayceon told her boss.

“It’s actually great! I totally forgot that I haven’t eaten my lunch yet. Thanks. This is actually my go-to food when I am having hard time to think what to eat. So really, thank you Jer.” Liviana told her secretary with genuinely.

Jayceon replies enthusiastically, “No problem, boss. Just doing my job!” He is about to leave then he suddenly remembers something, “May I ask something Liv?”

“Sure.” Live replied as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“With everything you sent me earlier, from the meeting’s notes to your friend’s cake, why did you still forget your own food?” Jayceon asked curiously.

“Yes, I think so. Are you planning on checking up the Academy’s different branches afterwards?” Jayceon asked his boss to confirm and inform that the schedule in the iPad seems incomplete.

It took a while for Liviana to think of an answer so she manages to say is, “Well, all I could think of once I get home is food, maybe that’s why.” She smiled to her assistant with face shows confusion with the lack of answer she replied so she just says, “It’s easier that way. Anyways, what’s next to our schedule?”

While Liviana is taking a sip of her Iced Americano, Jayceon enumerated the meetings that are lined up and this is followed by a question from Liv, “After all these meetings for today, does that end all of the Entertainment’s agendas for the week?”

“Yeah, why? Is there something wrong?” Liviana asked worriedly.

“It’s just that your ex-assistant seemed to forget to update the calendar since what I have now is relatively blank.” Jayceon stated as he looked through the tablet’s screen.

This made Liv ponder for a few minutes and came to a realisation, so she replies, “I believe it was purposely left that way since that is what I instructed her before she left. Hence, we can just leave it like that and have some sort of business trip tomorrow. I will message you the information once I got home because we need to go to the meeting now.”

Jayceon was relieved to know that there was no missing schedule, so he answered, “Sure, I’ll be right behind you Liv.”

After Liviana and Jayceon finished attending all the meetings for the day, she asked him to her office even though it was already passed his clock.

The young man took a seat adjacent to Liviana’s table and she remarks, “Hey, I think I will need your opinion about making the partnership with Stone Corp. public sooner instead of a week. Because I made some thinking the whole day and concluded that it would create traction for the Entertainment. I am not sure if you’ve already seen our latest financial reports that we are close to be in red – and barely breaking even.” Her face is contoured in full worries and anxiousness, she continues, “So I just want to know your opinion if I were to propose this to Mr. Stone, would it be alright or not?” She asked and nervously waiting for Jayceon’s reply.

“Honestly Liv, I don’t think you should rush this. Because one week is not a long time. The best advice I could give you is focus on the events that will happen, both in TLA and the Entertainment. Do not worry too much.” This response from Mr. Stone might come out quite manipulative but as Liv asked him with sincerity, this is the best answer he has based on his judgement with the overall situation.

The young woman took some time to weigh what her secretary just told her, and her reply goes, “Yes. Yeah, I think you’re right. I agree. Maybe let’s conclude for the day and meet tomorrow at the usual time here in the building to gather last minute things.” She informed her assistant, and both bid their goodbyes.

~At Liviana’s House~

“Let’s make the cake first and then eat dinner afterwards before checking all the reports for tomorrow’s trip.” Liv said as she tries to reason with herself.

Her closest friend Julie is having her 27th birthday tomorrow and she is currently supervising the branch of TLA where the Scholarship Audition Programme is going to be held, which is the Municipality of Paradigmia.  It is like the second main branch after the one in the City of Pneumarê. The main branch is the only one located in a city, however due to the development of the Tree of Life Academy the municipalities and provinces where other branches are located, it is becoming a progressive community which at a very near future can make them a city. If you are wondering on why the Final Audition is not going to take place in the city, well… It is because of how it was agreed upon on where annual inter-branch events will take place – and it is through spinning wheel where the names of the branches are written in random order. Therefore, she must make sure to visit Paradigmia at all costs tomorrow.

Going back to Liv’s closest friend, Julie Andews is also her longest friend who also supported her while she was busy integrating an Entertainment company to her family’s Academy. Ever since it was Anne who was more focused on handling the academics aspects, so it took quite a while for Julie to find a place where she truly suitable. Heck, she even attempted to do the financial aspect, but it took a toll on her. Then, one time strolling through the city’s academy branch, she saw the need to develop the extra-curricular activities not just for students who do it for grades but also those who wants to experience it. Especially when she realised that it would be vital for the integration of a Korean Entertainment Company. So, she drew up a proposal on how she plans to execute such developments and it was immediately approved by Liv. Liviana also doubled check it with her parents if such change would be okay and even though it took a week for them to agree, Julie was able to perform her plan without a hitch.

Okay, going back to the cake. After she baked the 3 layers of the heart-shaped cake for Julie she realised that she mixed a hell a lot of batter. So, she just took some of her leftover cupcake cups and make the rest of the red velvet mix into cupcakes. To Liv’s surprise she was still able to great 2 dozen of cupcakes, so she plans to give half of it to Anne as she also promised her a visit yesterday. Liviana successfully iced and decorated the cake and all the cupcakes after several hours, so she proceeds on putting it on her refrigerator to finally have her dinner.

Liviana freshen up before heading to her bed since it was a tedious work and cleaning earlier in the kitchen that made her sweat a lot. Before having her eyes closed, she remembers the reports she must re-evaluate this made her say, “For fuck’s sake.” After another 2 hours she finally got her sleep.

[End of Part 2]

[withkun]

visage | j. jaehyun

genre: enemies to lovers... kinda? with some fluff and smut :) word count: 5.2k  pairing: reader x jaehyun warnings: graphic hetersexual sex (oral, penetration, etc), swearing, excessive world building summary: Your first day of work at your first real job began terribly. You hadn’t got enough sleep, you could barely eat your breakfast, and you managed to get lost on the way. Soon, you discover you’re working alongside serial charmer Jaehyun Jung and that he will stop at nothing to be the best. 

a/n: this is a mess im sorry lmao. i somehow managed to use jaehyun 86 times in here ... girl...

You felt completely, utterly, and hopelessly lost – all on the first day of your first real job. That morning, you awoke two hours earlier than you had to. If you had a choice, you would’ve face planted into your pillow and died right there. However, your anxiety decided against it. And with that extra time, you managed to pull off an extended morning routine. A warm, long shower. Ten-step skincare routine. Eggs, toast, and black tea. Despite your attempts to regain your confidence, all was lost as you circled the office building.

           The orientation guide you received hadn’t helped much. All you knew was that you should report to building B. Whichever building that may have been, you had no idea. Your feet grew weary and you cursed yourself for wearing heels. You rounded the corner of the office park for your fourth or fifth lap, only to be cut off by an overdressed jackass. Before you could sidestep him and continue your hopeless journey, the perpetrator turned to face you.

           “Oh, no. He’s hot,” you thought to yourself, praying your cheeks weren’t stained red. Despite wearing a well-tailored gray suit, you realized that he was likely your same age. He took in your slightly disheveled appearance, probably noting your ruffled hair and askew skirt.

           He tilted his head in the direction of the closest building. “Are you here for orientation, too?”

           Of course he had to be in your hiring class. Twenty-two and already looking like he owned the building. You nodded, then turned on your heel to rush inside. Trailing your steps, you heard him chuckle lowly.

           You finally joined the rest of the new hires in the security lobby, managing to fix your appearance before you reached the door. To your gratitude, they dressed similarly to you. Just plain business casual. The boy you met earlier definitely stood out, making the others wonder if they hadn’t dressed well enough.

           Within ten minutes, you all received security badges and shuffled into your orientation room. You preferred the back, whereas the business boy sat directly in the front. Rolling your eyes, you realized his game. You met plenty of people like him in college, ruthless climbers that destroyed everything in their paths. He knew he had to make more than an entrance, he had to make an impression.

           You grew to dislike him more and more as your training sessions progressed over the course of two weeks. An insufferable know it all, answering all the questions managers prompted. Volunteering for everything first, unafraid. You on the other hand, did not find his actions necessary. He left a glowing impression, yes, but you found it meaningless. Like hell the trainers cared about how well you completed your general training. Maybe he wanted everyone to relate this to his future performance, for you to watch out for his dominance. For you to fear him. Worst of all, he saw you struggle with the most simplistic task on your first day.

           He easily made friends within the group, as there were plenty others like him. All recent college graduates, fantastic resumes, and working for one of the best companies in the field. You, on the other hand, did not have such luck. Your social circle consisted of yourself and another quiet trainee, a quiet finance major named Doyoung. The two of you kept to yourselves and became the outliers of the group, so much to the extent that you sat alone for training sessions.

           Two weeks came and passed, and you finally received your team assignments. You found your name on the bulletin, right next to Jaehyun Jung’s. Of course. It had to be this way.

           Jaehyun approached the bulletin board aside you, and grinned as he found his name. “Looks like we’re working together,” he commented, still wearing the same expression. You realized why he appeared so happy. People like Jaehyun would not recognize someone like you as a threat. You barely appeared on his radar.

           You grit your teeth and forced a smile. “I look forward to it.”

           With your whorish luck, you found that your desks were right next to each other and you’d be essentially working back to back. You already hated being watched, and Jaehyun could easily look over his shoulder and see you struggling to keep up.

           Jaehyun settled into his seat with ease, already look at home in his new desk. You sat gingerly on your office chair, gathering your surroundings.

           Your desks sat right in the view of your department lead’s office, likely to Jaehyun’s excitement.

           Being on the same team, you and Jaehyun had the rest of your training sessions together.  Just you two and your manager. He always seemed to grasp the new concepts immediately while you merely pretended and made notes to ask Doyoung later.

           They assigned your first project sometime later, one that you and Jaehyun would have to complete jointly. You dreaded it, knowing he would try to take over the project.

           That first morning, Jaehyun was already at his desk. You glanced at your watch, nearly scoffing as you read off 6:59. Despite having the ability to make his own schedule, Jaehyun chose to arrive before seven. You collapsed into your desk chair, jealousy eyeing Jaehyun’s full coffee mug. He already had time to help himself to coffee. Typical.

           “Morning,” he greeted, fully awake and energized. “I set up a meeting for 8 today to start working on the project.”

           You powered on your desktop, mentally groaning at the hundreds of emails present in your mailbox. “That’s…fine,” you murmured, praying that you could address all your client emails in a measly hour without the aid of caffeine.

           He glanced behind him to see you hunched over and lifelessly typing. “I’ll make that 9.”

           And yet again, you were caught in a moment of weakness. Great. “Yeah, okay.”

           Those two hours passed slowly, but at least you managed to prepare a cup of tea. By 8:55, Jaehyun already settled into the conference room and wrote diagnostics on the whiteboard. All while you still went through your emails.

           You joined him, a fresh cup of tea in one hand and your laptop in another. “All right, I see that you’ve already set up the basics,” you said monotonously, nodding towards the whiteboard. “I conjured up some of my own ideas as well.” Without prompt, you rose and added a few bullet points under Jaehyun’s “approaches” section. You scanned his ideas, noting that they weren’t bad, but not what you had in mind.

           “I see,” Jaehyun commented, still standing. He put his hands on his hips, carefully mulling over the options. “They’re quite good.”

           You felt ashamed of your satisfaction for his response, but also surprise. He sounded genuine enough, but you knew that his type always had some angle to work. Prodding you board at your second option, you decided, “I think this is our best bet.”

           Jaehyun remained quiet for a moment, eyes flickering across the board. “What if we combined a couple?” he inquired. He pointed to your idea, then his. “It would streamline the process more holistically.”

           “Holistically??” you thought. You hadn’t heard that word since high school English class. It was so painfully pretentious to you.

           He went on to explain how it would work, but you were still caught up on the pure obnoxiousness of the word “holistically.”

           “Y/N,” Jaehyun tried. “Hello?”

           You blinked, finally hearing your name. “Sorry, I was thinking about how this will impact everything.” A lie, Jaehyun didn’t need to know how long you caught yourself on a single word.

           “So, what do you think?” Jaehyun leaned against the wall, eyes searching yours.

           Oh god, now you were thinking about his eyes. Pushing those thoughts aside, you answered, “So long as we put a heavy emphasis on my part, I think it’ll work.”

           He agreed and you went on, mostly working quietly. You avoided asking him questions, even when you became desperate. Jaehyun, meanwhile, tried to engage you in small talk.

           “Where did you go to college?” he asked, to which you gave him a one-word response.

           “Are you from here?”

           “Do you have a boyfriend?”

           “What was your major?”

           You barely answered, but he failed to get the point until he finally inquired to something relevant. “Did I do something that offended you?”

           You drew in a breath, fumbling for the right words. If you were honest with him, you wouldn’t have to put on a façade. If you lied, you wouldn’t get on his bad side. Even pretty boys like him could be ruthless if given the opportunity and reason. You saw it before, you knew you would see it all over again.

           “No,” you decided, pulling on a tight-lipped smile. “I just want to do really well on this.”

           That last part, at least, wasn’t a lie. You felt that you had to prove yourself, especially against the Jaehyuns of the world. If only briefly, you saw his relief. His face relaxed a little, and his shoulders lost some tension. “Me too,” he agreed.

           The following month went on similarly. You completed the project quietly, only interjecting to make corrections and provide your input. When you finally reached the day of your presentation, your nerves caught you once more. You woke up far too early and arrived at the office at the same time as Jaehyun. A new record.

           If he was on edge, you couldn’t tell. Outwardly, he appeared the same. Nothing could take away his quiet glow of confidence. Jaehyun worked, unbothered, sipping his coffee almost casually.

           “Are you ready?”

           Jaehyun turned to face you. “Never been readier.”

           You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if readier is a word.”

           With a shrug and smile, Jaehyun returned to his work again. Odd, considering he was always chatty.

           You attempted to mimic him, to work without doubts and review your notes. But your hands shook as you tried to type. You knew you couldn’t focus until you finished the presentation.

           Although you hadn’t noticed him leave, you saw him approach your desk. Jaehyun gingerly placed a styrofoam cup on your desk. Your eyes met his. “Jaehyun?”

           “Just some tea before the presentation,” he explained. “I noticed you like black tea with honey.”

           You brought the cup to your lips, delighted to find that it was the perfect temperature. For once, you didn’t care about his motive. “Thanks,” you said. And you meant it.

           He gave you wink. “We’ll be great today.”

           You hoped he was right.

           The presentation crept up on you suddenly, much faster than you had anticipated. Jaehyun found you outside the conference room, where you managers and team lead had already gathered, pacing and talking to yourself.

           “Are you okay?”

           He caught you again, there was no use in denying the truth. “Absolutely not.”

           Jaehyun laughed lowly and put a hand on your shoulder. A part of you wanted to shrug it off, but you felt a strange comfort. “I’m nervous, too.”

           You almost burst out laughing. Like hell he was nervous. But his concession, fake or real, made you feel some comfort.

           Having reeled yourself in, you entered the conference room together.

           And together, you made it through the presentation. You both had prepared excessively, ready to answer any question thoroughly. Management applauded your efforts, declaring that you had exceeded expectations. They rewarded you with a gift-card to a nearby steakhouse and urged you to celebrate together. Hastily, you attempted to invite the managers, only to be declined. They had work to complete in the office.

           Your cheeks lit up red with embarrassment, but you agreed to make reservations for that night.

           Jaehyun offered a ride over, to which you vehemently wanted to reject. Before the eyes of your manager, you took him up. You assured yourself that he was still the same person you knew. Nothing different. Nothing could’ve changed that. Seeing his car certainly helped. You never knew any recent college graduates that drove a Tesla, and yet…

           Once you arrived at the restaurant, you quickly ordered yourself a martini. You didn’t care which one, so long as it had plenty of alcohol. Jaehyun simply ordered a beer, quoting driver safety commercials. “Just this,” he promised you, then proposed a toast. “We pulled it off.”

           You drank your martini with gusto, and then prompted the waiter for another one. Jaehyun watched as you became drunk, consistently grinning as began to ramble. “You know I hate you, right?”

           Your question caught him off guard. “You hate me?”

           With a smile, you brought the martini glass to your lips. “You’re too perfect and try too hard.” His expression fell, but you forged on. For months, he made you feel inadequate and beyond anxious. You befuddled mind justified this bluntness. “Every day feels like a goddamn competition.”

           Jaehyun reached across the table, taking your hand. “I had no idea,” he admitted quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

           “It’s whatever. You’re no different from most in our hiring class.”

           With a sigh, Jaehyun took an elongated sip from his beer. “They’re not all bad.”

           Despite the alcohol coursing its way through your system, you realized that a few strands of hair fell out of place. He hunched over, brows furrowed, lost in thought. It wasn’t the first time you saw that either. Just out of your periphery vision, you saw him buried in work while you finished the project. 

           Jaehyun swept his hands through his hair. The way he bit his lip made you wonder if he was holding himself back. And the waiter arrived with your meals before you could muster a response.

           You sat in silence, Jaehyun haphazardly cutting his steak. He refused to look at you.

           As you absentmindedly twirled your pasta onto your fork, Jaehyun finally spoke up. “I’m not perfect, and you’re not easy to work with either.”

           “Excuse me?” You couldn’t conceal your anger at this sentiment.

           Jaehyun met your gaze, eyes determined. “You had to control every part of the project. Had everything your way.”

           That, you had heard before. And you absolutely hated it. “We did well on the project because of me,” you said defensively. “Lest you forget.”

           The two of you went on bickering like this, angrily finishing your meals and drinks. The waiter hesitantly approached your table, and you demanded the check. The sooner you could leave, the better.

           Once paid, you managed to not storm out of the restaurant. But you wore a disgruntled expression and balled your fists.

           You reached your work parking lot, and instantly ejected yourself from the Tesla. It wasn’t until you reached your car, however, that you realized that you didn’t have your keys. Probably left it in the passenger seat.

           Angrily, you stomped back to Jaehyun’s space where he twirled the keys around his index finger. “I’m not letting you drive. You drank too much.”

           You gritted your teeth. “I sobered up plenty.”

           Jaehyun approached you and held a square device in front of him.  “Well, then you can prove it.”

           You yanked the breathalyzer from him, not bothering to ask why he had it. Made sense for someone like him. With a groan, you realized he was right. 0.1.

           Not wanting to admit it, you continued your enraged march to the nearby retention pond where a lone bench sat in front of the water. You crossed your arms, and bitterly stared at the water from there.

           Jaehyun followed you, leaning onto the back of the bench. “I didn’t know this place existed.”

           You laughed bitterly. “It’s because you never leave your desk. You’re always working. Always networking. Always trying something.”

           To your surprise, Jaehyun appeared to calm down from earlier. He regained his flawless demeanor. “It takes me a lot longer to do things.”

           Well that, that took you off guard. “Doing extra work,” you said, making a weak attempt to correct him.

           “No.” After a long pause, he asked, “Do you really hate me?”

           His tone made you feel some guilt. “Don’t you hate me?” you shot back, remembering his comments at the restaurant.

           “I don’t,” he affirmed. “I never have.”

           You considered that. In your college career, you made plenty of enemies with the same behavior. Those times, you ensured yourself, were valid. Those classmates never completed their work and simply didn’t care about the performance. You had been left with ten-page papers to complete on your own. You turned poorly written trash into works professors recommended for publishing. But you knew Jaehyun wasn’t the same as them at least.

           Behind Jaehyun, the sun had just begun to set. The sky lit up with orange and pink hues. “I shouldn’t have taken over the project,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. A part of you hoped he wouldn’t hear.

           “Oh,” Jaehyun said softly.

           You gave him a warning expression. “Do not let that get to your head. You came into this job with an agenda.”

           “Jesus Christ, Y/N,” Jaehyun groaned. “Where the hell are you getting these ideas from?”

           You couldn’t bear to look at him, imagining the smug look on his face as he basically told you that you were crazy. “People like you are always ruthlessly ambitious.”

           “And what am I like, then?” Jaehyun mused.

           Without skipping a beat, you explained, “Attractive, charming, overcompensating.”

           You could feel his eyes boring into the back of your head, and just knew his smug smile made another appearance. He chuckled and said, “Sounds like you.”

           “Funny,” you mocked. “Last time I checked; I’m only overcompensating less outwardly.”

           He joined you and took a seat on the bench, stretching his arm over the top of the bench. Only inches away from being on your shoulders. Disgusting. “You’re wrong.”

           Without prompt, he suggested a game of twenty questions. Jaehyun clarified his intent, stating that perhaps you misunderstood each other. Sensing your doubt, he held his pinky finger out and searched your eyes. You hesitantly connected your pinkies and brought your thumb to your lips, both promising to be truthful.

           “Do you think I’m good at my job?” you inquired first, eyes cast out to the sparkling pond.

           Almost instantaneously, Jaehyun firmly answered, “Yes.” You concealed your satisfaction, biting your lip to prevent you to smile. “Do you think I’m good at my job?”

           You replied almost as quickly, “Of course I do.”

           The questions got progressively less serious, some among the likes of favorite movies and which books you were currently reading. Somehow, you felt relaxed. Jaehyun didn’t feel like competition, but rather just a normal stupid boy. He let you have another try at the breathalyzer, and you felt relief in the .05 reading before you. At the same time, you wanted to remain beside him.

           “I don’t think I hate you anymore,” you conceded, accepting your words as truth. “If you stop coming off as perfect all the time.

           He let out a laugh, a sweet sound of joy and relief. “Hey, you come off as perfect too. You were just quiet around me.” With a devilish grin, Jaehyun ventured, “Is it because you think I’m attractive?”

           You glared at him from the corner of your eye. “Are you trying so hard because you find me attractive?” you challenged him.

           Jaehyun turned his body to face you. “That depends on whether it’s working.”

           Now games like these you didn't mind as much. A harmless game of chicken, testing your limits. Work had its difficulties, but boys? Easy. You cupped his cheek, amazed at how soft his skin felt to the touch. Your eyes met, beckoning the other to try something. "So, this is why you asked me if I was dating anyone?" you dared. "Under the guise of getting to know me and making small talk. I thought someone as perfect as you would have more...subtlety." You let the last word slip out of your mouth slowly. Registering his surprise, you continued, “I don’t forget things easily, hence why I’ve been able to hate you so long.”

           Jaehyun grinned cockily, placing your hand on his chest. You felt defined muscles straining against his button-down. Already, you figured his body would match the rest of his veneer. “You really have nerve being out here like this,” Jaehyun overserved, gesturing the office park a short walk away.

           “Oh, uncomfortable here?” you drawled playfully, then took his hand. “I know somewhere you may like.”

           You felt a wave of confidence wash over you, and you realized this what you assumed Jaehyun had always felt. Then you decided that you’d make it up to him one way or another. He followed you, only letting your hands detach as you got closer to the infamous “B” building you worked in. You noted his nervousness and gave him a reassuring smile. “Trust me,” you urged.

           Entering through the side door, you managed to avoid security. Your entry would appear on a log, but you could easily bristle over it and say that you forgot your laptop at your desk. Most of your coworkers avoided the stairs, so you led Jaehyun away from the elevator. Though, you had forgotten that you were wearing heels. You struggled up the steps by the second flight, clinging onto the railing for dear life. Jaehyun noted this, but said nothing as he swept you into his arms.

           “I wish you did on the first floor,” you joked. “Or maybe I could’ve just taken them off.”

           Jaehyun refused to let you down until you reached the fourth floor. Whenever you found yourself in a vulnerable state, you hid out beside the decommissioned wing. The unused nursing room featured its own bathroom and a small futon. Having visited the location so often, you knew that the cleaning staff rarely came by. You asked once and discovered that they only visit at the beginning of the month. No one else ever came by in your experience. It appeared that only you knew about this place, and now Jaehyun. “This is where you run away to,” he deciphered. “I always thought it was the café.”

           “I prefer privacy.” You leaned against the door as Jaehyun took in his surroundings. “And I wanted to go somewhere you couldn’t find me.”  

           He fell back onto the futon, looking at you in awe. “Just when I think I know you.”

           You fumbled for the lock behind you until you heard a distinct click. “Do you remember when you first met me? When I was so stupid and got lost?”

           Jaehyun rose, appearing concerned. “I didn’t know. I just thought you were cute.”

           He cornered you against the door, body close enough to feel your shaky breath. All that time just hating him when you could’ve been seducing him for the purpose of hindering his goals and ultimately find the truth much sooner. You wasted so much time, held so much resentment. In front of you, you saw a seemingly perfect boy study your movements, waiting. A position you would have never imagined yourself mere hours before. Yet, you saw it all in hindsight and perhaps always knew the truth. It was then that you decided that you didn’t want to play games anymore or mull over an agenda.

           Jaehyun angled his chin downwards, gazing into your eyes with a mix of emotions. Excitement, fear, desire. You kissed him, gently and slowly. More carefully, you wanted to know him in this way. Feel the way his lips moved against yours, his increasing heart rate. He rested his hands on your hips, gripping them as if he couldn’t support himself without them. Soon after, you wrapped your arms around his neck and gradually deepened the kiss. These moments you shared felt like high school, so unassuming and simple.

           You pulled away, resting your forehead on his. You caught your breath and entangled your fingers with his. “I’m sorry,” you murmured.

           He idled, drawing kisses down your cheek and neck. “For what?” Jaehyun ventured.

           “For not knowing you until now, and maybe still not knowing you.”

           With his thumb, he drew circles on the back of your hand. “Do you want to know more?” he asked, his voice quietly sultry.

           “Yes,” you whispered. With this admission, Jaehyun’s butterfly kisses became more daunting. He crashed his lips upon yours and held you closer. Your tongues soon met, messier and carelessly. Feeling daring, you ran your hand under his shirt, digging your fingernails against his abs. A bit lower, and you realized he was straining against his slacks. 

Jaehyun bucked under your touch, gasping against your lips. You gripped his clothed cock with more certainty than before and Jaehyun fumbled to reach your breast. Still against the door, you held each other. “We’re lucky this room is soundproof,” you commented, noting your precarious position. 

Not waiting for his response, you quickly undid Jaehyun’s belt followed by his zipper. You tugged his pants to his ankles and brought your attention to boxer-brief covered erection as you supported yourself on your knees. Laying a flat tongue against his balls, you drew a line from shaft to tip. He sucked in a sharp breath and watched you with hungry eyes as you finally removed the final layer of clothing. 

His erection sprung upwards, precum already forming. Zealously, you took the tip into your mouth and ran your tongue over the wet slit. You leaned back, seeing Jaehyun absolutely desperate as he stood over you. Continuing, you wet his dick with sloppy kisses. You wanted him to have everything, feel every part of your mouth. With one hand on the base, you craned your neck to take in more of him from the tip. You used your whole body to rock your mouth further down his dick. When he reached the back of your throat, you gagged slightly but didn’t care. Gently at first, he began to rock his hips. Becoming restless, Jaehyun held your head and pushed his erection further down your throat with messy thrusts. You looked at him with wide eyes, conveying for him to continue. 

Jaehyun instead picked you up as if you weighed nothing and placed you precariously on the couch. While naked from the waist down, you were still fully clothed. Wasting no time, Jaehyun ripped your blouse off - buttons and all flying wildly around the room. He pulled your bra cup down to reveal a nipple, to which he immediately pinched between his fingers. Already excited, he removed your black jeans and panties. Jaehyun lowered himself to your glistening pussy and brought a digit to his mouth before pushing it inside you. The penetration left you unwinding as he added another finger. He curled his fingers upwards, each push and pull hitting your g-spot. As you thrashed, he held you down with a firm hand, especially after he began sucking on your clit. In mere minutes, he brought you to your orgasm. You wished you had the words to describe the way you felt that immense pleasure, but nothing would ever be sufficient. 

Breathlessly you beckoned Jaehyun to the bathroom. “I have an IUD,” you confirmed. With your new found trust, you knew Jaehyun wouldn’t even attempt to sleep with you if he had an STD. There, you gazed at him from the mirror. Watched him approach you and run his hands up and down your body. He positioned one leg so that you were half propped over the sink and still standing on the other. Jaehyun’s dick teased your aching pussy as he dragged it from your folds to your clit to your entrance. Both facing the mirror, your eyes locked as Jaehyun pushed himself fully in you. You both drew in strained breaths. Once he ensured that you adjusted, he fucked you. Neither of you ever watched yourselves have sex, but you were even more turned on watching Jaehyun clutch onto your tit and whisper obscenities in your ear. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he growled, burying himself deeper in you. 

Jaehyun slowed his pace, suddenly lifting you and pushing you against the wall. He supported your entire weight as he fucked you there. 

“I’m going to ride you,” you said breathily, to which Jaehyun obliged immediately. He sat up straight on the futon, leading you to his cock once more. In that position, you put yourself to work. You bounced atop his dick, only stopping to grind your clit against his pelvis. You came unexpectedly, the sensation getting fucked and stimulating your clit becoming too much for you. Jaehyun and you both were surprised when a stream of liquid sprung out of you. 

With his mouth agape, Jaehyun looked at you. “You can squirt?”

Before that moment, you would’ve answered that no, you couldn’t squirt since you never had. Until then. He registered your shock and turned you so that your back rested against the futon. Jaehyun hovered over you, hair askew and face reddened. You imagined that you appeared the same. He kissed you, breathing “I don’t know how I got so lucky,” on your lips. 

Jaehyun unraveled quickly in this position, and you urged him to come on your tits. Following his orgasm, you attempted to clean yourselves up in the bathroom. “Everything smells like sex,” you observed, frivilously spraying Febreeze everywhere you could. Between futon cushions. The door handle, Jaehyun’s general direction. You didn’t realize you were shirtless until you saw a mess of buttons on the floor. 

A weak solution, but Jaehyun offered you his suit jacket. You’d have to walk out of the building crossing your arms and praying a nipple wouldn’t escape, but something. Once the room was clean, Jaehyun and you fine-tuned your own appearances in the bathroom. Neither of you looked refined or polished, but human. 

“I want more,” you admitted. 

At the same time, Jaehyun asked, “Can I buy you dinner?”

You shook your head. This version of Jaehyun, the one messily fucking you in an office nursing room, you preferred. “I just want to spend time with you.” 

Jaehyun smiled and agreed.

You left the room separately as to not arouse any suspicion. Jaehyun met you outside your car, once more carelessly spinning your keys. The sun had set by that time, leaving you both shrouded in moonlight. Despite the sun’s absence the air remained warm and inviting. “We’re going stargazing,” you decided. “After we change.” 

Jaehyun arrived at the agreed upon park first, sporting a loose shirt and Adidas joggers. You never had seen him dressed so casually. He already set up a blanket at the top of the hill and rested on his back. 

You wore a nearly identical outfit, and went without makeup. Normally, you hated it when your partners saw you without anything on. But you wanted Jaehyun to see this part of you, too. Despite living in a well-populated city, the stars appeared very clearly that night alongside a waxing crescent moon. 

“Do you think the managers set us up?” Jaehyun pondered, wrapping an arm around your waist as you joined him. 

“Without a doubt. And we’ll probably have to tell them about this at some point.”

And he kissed you again. How many times that night, you lost count. Looking at him, the image of the boy you met months ago flashed before your eyes. The one with the suit, the dashing smile, and dough-like dimples. You, a nervous wreck getting in her own way. 

You fell asleep on his shoulder that night, head buried in his neck as he snored quietly.  

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[space-helen]

Would I get on with them? - CSI

Starting this series with CSI characters since I'm most into the show right now.

Hopping into it under the cut! (Not proof read at all)

Gil Grissom

Ok, I don't think this man would hate me in the slightest but he'd take a sec to warm up to me. We know the man has loads of random knowledge in his brain and so do I but I sometimes just spurt it out at the most random times and most of the knowledge doesn't make sense. We wouldn't hang out at all but I feel like we could eat lunch in the breakroom together and it wouldn't be awkward at all? We could also do a car journey together and it'd be silent most of the way until one of us eventually broke the silence. The silence wouldn't have been awkward though it would just be natural, both in our brains thinking things over? I get the vibe he'd welcome me into the team pretty well and would defend me to others but also would be disappointed when I fuck up. I think our vibes are slightly the same so we'd get on and have a weird friendship but not going on. TBH he'd probably treat me very similar to how he treats Greg but slightly nicer. In summary I would get on with him but not in a best friend kind of way.

Catherine Willows

I get the vibe she'd like me and would find me funny in a way with the awful jokes I tell but instead of finding the jokes funny she'd just find me and my awkwardness funny? However, she would not let me fuck up and would go in on me bad if I did if I was in the first couple of years being a CSI but after our friendship grew a little she'd be a lot more forgiving. We'd probably get to a friendship point of being able to have a meal together or a drink together but we would never plan it? It'd only happen say after a shift on a whim together. We'd be close but not best friends knowing absolutely every aspect of each other's lives. All in all Catherine has good vibes and I think we'd get on. I'd want to be her friend and learn from her. We'd be able to throw banter around and we'd be able to work well together. She'd probably see me as more of a 'family member' than a friend if you get my drift?

Sara Sidle

I love Sara but I do not think we'd get on at first. I think she'd dislike how shy I was and how long it takes me to warm up to everyone. My main way of bonding or working with people initially is kinda through humour to test the waters and I know she wouldn't like that at first. However, I think after her initial dislike for me for the first couple of cases or weeks or whatever I think she'd realise we actually work well together on cases and compliment each other with our working style? Then she'd slowly be more friendly and jokey with me and open up herself. We'd take a long time to be close friends with each other and I think the only way our friendship would grow is because of our friendship with others in the team. So would I get on with Sara? Not initially but let's say after like 6 months we might have lunch together. I do admire her and her work but... yeah I think we might be a bit too similar in some ways. I think eventually after we build up trust and a mutual understanding we'd then be friends and do things together outside of work (but it doesn't happen often because she'd invested in her work)

Warrick Brown

Now this is hard to say. I think initially he'd try to be open and welcoming but would have a little too much going on to care but would banter with me if we came across each other. He's serious on the job but a lil hot headed, I mean I'm the same but I tend to internalise it and not speak out about problems and might just cry about them? He'd probably try and argue a point and even if I agreed I would probably not say something if I was still new to the team and he'd probably get mad at me for it. However, I think I might break through with him with my humour or something really random or like a random fact which is so bizzare he's like 'who the fuck is she?' and laughs it off and enjoys it. I feel like we'd eventually be friends but not in a way to talk about our lives irl more like if we've had a long shift and need to pull a double and haven't stopped for food he'd throw a sandwich or coffee at me. So friends in a caring or sibling like way y'know? Banter but not completely open with each other but we know little facts here and there. We'd hold mutual friends and that'd what probably aids the friendship. So would I get on with him? Initially no fucking way but after a hot sec yeah.

Nick Stokes

Here he is, here's our boi. Now yes I may be bias here because I do like Nick but I genuinely think we'd get on because we're both kinda emotionally softies on the inside. However, initially he might get frustrated at how closed off I am and awkward when he tried to speak to me, giving short answers etc. But once I crack some awkward and nervous jokes he'd realise how nervous I am and try and get through to me in that way with jokes and banter. I think he'd actually help if I fucked something up or missed something and would point it out in a nice way compared to how someone like Sara would. I think he'd open up to me randomly? Also I feel we could chat shit randomly to each other y'know? I think we'd be in a weird friends stage for a long time and then it would get to best friend territory? Y'know? Going to see movies or hanging out outside of work. Also hard cases we'd support each other. I think my friendship with Nick would be the thing that helps my friendship with Warrick for sure and aids with Sara. So would we get on? Yeah we would and he'd question why Sara and I don't.

Greg Sanders

He's chaos. I can be chaos. He'd appreciate my jokes and would banter back. Would be on the same wave length a lot of the time I think. I think I'd be the more chill version of him in some ways? Idk. I think we'd be friends and he'd be the person I build a friendship with the fastest. Like I think it would be he and I friends first, then Nick and I, Catherine and I then the others after. He'd obviously try to flirt with me because it's Greg but he'd respect me? We'd probably go for coffee a lot and he'd want to give me a tour of Vegas or some shit if I hadn't been there long. He'd probably get frustrated though at how chill I can be sometimes but would enjoy the fact that I was also friends with Nick and if all three of us were put on a case? Well that would be funny and would make a great episode. Don't get me wrong though we'd work well together. So would we get on? Hell yeah!

David Hodges

I don't think he'd dislike me but he wouldn't entirely like me either but he'd have a respect for me? I'd tolerate him and would joke with him though but I wouldn't say we'd be close friends or anything. Once he finds out I also like Galaxy Quest (idk I like Star trek irl so I'd probably like galaxy quest) we'd talk about it occasionally and might go to a convention together if we had no one else. So would we get on? Slightly, we'd tolerate each other and make friendly conversation.

Henry Andrews

I think we could have a laugh and a joke and that's it. I'd probably want to be his friend more than I do Hodges but we're both very awkward but we'd have a respect and understanding for each other. I would go to his birthday celebration if I was asked too. So would we get on? Yeah...

SuperDave

Eh I think we'd just have a basic friendship and very much colleague relationship. I don't think he'd appreciate my humour at all and would just want to do his job. But if I was with someone else on the team or if Doc Robbins was also there he'd be a bit more friendly? He has super super nice vibes I just think we're both a little too awkward and closed off and we probably wouldn't be able to go past small talk or work related talk. So would we get on? Yeah in a colleague sort of way.

Doc Robbins

(Lmao i can't insert anymore gifs)

I think he'd enjoy my jokes and would explain things in a nice way if I didn't understand but we'd never be friends or anything. I think he'd respect me and enjoy my presence in the morgue but we wouldn't engage in like intentional real life talk. So not purposefully asking about family etc. Maybe something random would come out in an autopsy or whatever. So would we get on? Yeah more that Superdave and I would

Jim Brass He wouldn't hate me but I wouldn't be his favourite person. I tend to stay out of trouble so he'd like that the most. He'd probably appreciate that I stay quiet and listen before having an input. He'd probably worry about me though if I was held hostage or shot or something y'know? He wouldn't not care. So would we get on? Yeah in the same way Grissom and I would get on but slightly less that that.

LMAO this series is gonna be weird af but it is what it is. I don't expect anyone to read it. Hence not proof reading.

[casvist]

hello my lovely peaches , *puts my clown wig on bcs i’m shy* i’m back at it again, being a greedy bitch and bringing you my second  and super fake muse, yeva.  remember that part where the darkling’s fake ass pretended to be all nice and wholesome. well, yeva is faker than that. she probably has severe back pain from single handedly carrying all her lies on her back. anyway, i could slander her more but i will probably do that later. if you want to plot please LIKE this post or IM me/message me on discord and i’ll bring some clown shoes and ask for some plotting ( but in.... greedy )

PINTEREST  . PROFILE .    BIO (tba) .  VIKTORIYA.     discor*d     six of hoes🔪#7888

[ yeva zudina ], an [ twenty-eight ] year old grisha in the little palace. she is a [ tidemaker ] and are known in the little palace as the [ mountebank ]. they are known to be [ adaptable ] and [ devious ] and vaguely resemble [ davika hoorne ]. 

( okay my soc ass had to make her grow up in ketterdam i’m sorry )

- before yeva knew that she was a tidemaker, she was what one might call an “ordinary” girl in ketterdam. ( as far as anyone can be ordinary in ketterdam )

- as many people living there, she didn’t really have the best time of her life there. her father, well, he was just a name causing an uncomfortable silence whenever one would mutter it. her mother, she tried her best to survive in that hellhole. although, yeva knew how much her did for her, the only person she really could get close to was her step-sibling. ( a wc i’ll elaborate more on when i’m finally requesting that wc). though not bound by blood, they meant the world to yeva and little yeva felt as if she had to protect her from whatever was lurking in ketterdam’s (shady) alleyways.

- despite of her noble intentions, realistically she wasn’t strong. and how so? no one taught her how to protect herself and she was still a child. however, yeva didn’t want to wait around for nothing. instead, she decided to take matters into her own hands and looking back this idea was really stupid, but she wholeheartedly believed that messign with some other kids would be a brilliant way to improve her combat skills ( all my muses have to be stupid at some point i’m sorry, theyre all dumb)

- of course this plan failed terribly ( and instead she was the one getting her ass beaten  ).  luckily someone witnessed that (comedic) unfortunate scene and helped yeva out. and this somehow became the turning point of her life. yeva, completely awe-struck with the stranger, wanted to know more about him. truth to be told, he didn’t do much and his presence alone somehow scared the kids away ( poor kids almost got into a fight with a grown-ass man) but yeva didn’t really care. turned out he was a drüskelle (retired though (as much as one can), thus he didn’t really have to rely on any grisha “magic”, something yeva really admired.

- long story short, he not only became a mentor to yeva ( who successfully convinced him to show her some “cool” drüskelle tricks) but also a father-figure. yeva really trusted him and his beliefs also became hers. which we might say weren’t exactly grisha friendly. at first she didn’t get why he hated grisha so much, to her they didn’t seem too bad but as time passed his words left a mark.

- however, what actually made her end up despising grisha was a certain incident. as much as this day affected yeva, everything happened within a second. a short moment of exchanged laughter, cruelly disrupted by two grisha. tidemakers ( a cruel twist of irony ) . looking back at it now, yeva figured that these two grisha had a long and unresolved grudge against him ( which wasn’t too surprising with him being a drüskelle) and had their eye on him ever since. 

- to put it briefly, yeva was forced to witness the death of someone whom she considered a father to her. yet, fate couldn’t be more cruel on her and it was also the moment her abilities were triggered , and , of course, she turned out to be a grisha as well. make it worse. a tidemaker.

- skipping over all the formalities (bcs this is getting too long) and luck not really being on her side she was brought to the little palace. her mother wasn’t too surprised and knowing that yeva wouldn’t have a future here at ketterdam, she thought that ravka was far more appealing.

- yeva wasn’t happy of course. not only was she forced to be with the people who she despised she herself was one. at first, she refused to do anything at all, she didn’t mind if she were to be punished for her stuborness. no one knew why she was behaving this way, they just shrugged it off as her being a spoiled brat refusing to be useful. yeva, however, didn’t continue to be like this forever and what happened next surpirsed everyone. suddenly, she was eager to train and improved quickly. all they saw was a hardworking grisha but what they didn’t know was that yeva’s intentions weren’t noble. 

- instead of wasting her time at pitying and hating herself, she realized that she was at the perfect place to learn everything about her ‘enemies’. 

- basically, she has that grand plan of trying to destroy things from within, being the wolf in sheep’s clothing (cutting this short bcs this is getting long again). 

personality

- honestly, as i’ve mentioned before she’s fake. and not in that way where she’ll just pretend to smile and go on with her day, she really goes out her way in acting as if she was the sweetest and kindest girl out there. however, everthing she does serves some purpose. she helps you with some training ? she gives you some advice on a personal matter ? she compliments you on your smile ? lets say she doesn’t do it out of kindness. not when you’re a grisha. of course, she isn’t perfect at keeping this act up all the time.  and if one pays a little more attention to her actions, they can see her facade crumbling. still, where vika is all about being straight-forward and accidentally hurting one’s feeling without meaning it, yeva is all about sugar-coating when she needs to but also deliberately using one’s weakness against them.

traits ( adding some bcs i want to redeem her a little bit but i also don’t respect her so..) 

[+] adaptable, decisive, loyal , observant 

[-] ruthless, doesn’t think through consequences, blindly faithful, intrusive

headcanons

- tba ( but i just had to add that yeva prbly wouldn’t hesitate to push someone from the ship when they’d travel through the shadow fold.)

- every time she must do more than simply tolerating grisha, like saying that they’re great she probably loses one year of her life

- trying to keep her reputation yeva is known to give exceptionally good advice

- as much as she despises that “grisha magic” she believes in things like card reading, fortune telling and is quite faithful to the saints (regardless of being grisha or not)

connections

someone who sees through her (shit) facade and unlike everyone else who perceives yeva as that sweet angel, they find her suspicious and doesn’t trust her.

a grisha who is the complete opposite of what yeva think they are and might as well be someone yeva tolerates and might add that 0.1% of character development 

listen an unrequited love bcs i’m laughing at the idea that someone might fall for her super fake persona and the more time they spend with her they start to realize that it is just an act.

someone who turns for advice to yeva bcs of her reputation

*sneakily puts my step sibling connection here so if u r intreested hmu ;) but i’ll also request it later but rn i’m too lazy*

HONESTLY EVERYTHING i love angsty and dramatic shit, but i’m super open for other ideas bcs my two braincells need that wonderful input and inspo so gimme all the connections PLS !!! *types this in thirsty for all ur wonderful muses*

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt79

So again sorry for the plot bunny, I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with it either.

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

Marinette felt the transformation drop and her mind went completely blank for a moment. She felt Discorde and Viperion hold on to her and ended up with an arm around each while they used their arms like a chair for her. . None of the other heroes noticed since they were still shouting at one another. It took her a moment to notice the new person in front of her.

The woman looked to be in her late twenties and about Chloe’s height. Her hair was black with red highlights. The outfit she wore seemed extremely familiar. The dress was a sort of tiger stripe pattern only with red instead of orange and jagged edges. Her thigh high boots were red until the knees and gray after that. It wasn’t until she saw the pink tulle under the skirt that she realized it was an outfit she’d designed but never made. When the woman stopped glaring at Superman to lock eyes with Marinette she felt her breath catch as she looked into clear blue eyes.

“Tikki?” She felt Discorde and Viperion start in surprise but couldn’t take her eyes off the woman giving her a gentle smile.

“Plagg had his fun, now it’s my turn.”

“I shouldn’t have put the Miracle Box in my Yoyo.” Tikki just grinned at her and Marinette groaned internally. By forcing her to detransform with the box still inside, Tikki was able to tap into the energy from that realm making them much more powerful. Tikki just grinned at her before turning to face the Justice League.

“I think we should have popcorn for this.” Robin’s voice only got an eye roll as she focused on her Kwami. She had no idea what Tikki was up to but the fact that they took human form said it was big.

“That’s enough!” Tikki’s voice was lower than normal and echoed around the room becoming louder until everyone shut up. Then it just stopped. “I find it rather amusing that you’re so hung up on my Chosen’s age when you all insist on acting like children.”

“How dare you--” Tikki snapped their fingers and Superman was cut off by what looked like a metal plate sealing his mouth shut.

“You really need to learn some manners. Now it’s time for you all to listen.” No one spoke and Tikki gave a satisfied smile. “Better. First things first. I want you all to take a good long look at my Chosen and Guardian of the Miraculous.” Marinette felt everyone’s eyes on her and had to fight the urge to make herself smaller. Instead she held her head high while they studied her.

“I still see nothing but an incompetent child.” Tikki snapped her fingers again and Green Lantern met the same fate as Superman.

“If I want your input, I’ll ask for it.” Tikki gave them a bright smile that was honestly a bit creepy. “That child has been protecting Paris almost on her own for two years. During the final confrontation with Hawkmoth that child gave up the ability to walk in order to end his reign of terror. While you’ve all done nothing but make her job more complicated, she’s been working tirelessly to bring down a lunatic. The next one of you that demeans her will feel the full force of Discorde’s wrath and I won’t reverse the damage.”

Quite a few members paled at that threat and Marinette glanced over to see a rather manic smile on her girlfriend’s face. She shuddered at the thought of what she might do. Everyone was completely silent as Tikki let that thought settle.

“Still, you can’t expect us to leave such powerful artifacts in the hands of children.” Tikki narrowed her eyes at Martian Manhunter before offering another fake smile.

“I am a god older than the universe itself. They may be young but we are not.” Marinette could see the hero hesitate and winced when he finally decided to speak.

“Your will is bound to the Miraculous. The children are the ones in charge and should the Miraculous fall into the wrong hands your power becomes a liability.” Tikki studied him for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“You’re all far too concerned with age but I suppose we could fix that if it will make you feel better.” Marinette shared confused looks with her team. How was Tikki planning on fixing them being kids? Most of the League members looked just as confused but Wonder Woman was frowning in thought.

“What exactly do you plan to fix?” The words sounded like they were being dragged out of the hero that seemed to have become their spokesman. Tikki’s smile turned condescending.

“Your problem is with my Chosen’s age, not experience or intelligence as would be at least more appropriate. As such,” they snapped their fingers again and suddenly four more twenty something’s appeared behind her. “I present you with guardians for the Guardian.”

-------------------------------------

Discorde studied the four new people with annoyance. It was her job to protect Mari and these interlopers weren’t wanted. She was a bit confused when she felt Plagg trying to soothe her.

The four of them were all completely different. On either side of Tikki were a man and woman. One man was wearing an all black designer suit. His shirt, tie, and all other accessories were the same shade as well. His hair was even darker somehow. Next to him was a woman in a white sundress and sandals. Her hair was blonde but gave the impression of sunlight. They were both the same height as Tikki. Both also had one green eye and one brown, but on opposite sides.

On Tikki’s other side was a man at least seven foot tall. He was wearing brown khakis and a blue, short sleeve button up. Both looked starched and pressed to perfection. His brown hair was buzzed on the sides and he gave off a decidedly special forces vibe. His arm rested on the head of the woman next to him who couldn’t be more than five foot tall. She was in full steampunk gear. For their eyes each had one vibrant blue and one gray that reminded Discorde of storm clouds. Again on opposite sides. The longer her gaze rested on the short woman the louder Plagg’s giggling got in her head.

“And who are they exactly? The last thing we need is more amateurs in the field.” Tikki’s grin turned feral. She gestured the pair with green and brown eyes forward.

“Allow me to introduce you. This is Jett, Kwami of Darkness and Primm, Kwami of Light.” He bowed and she curtsied before Tikki waved the other two forward.  “And this is Digg, Kwami of Order and Lyccen, Kwami of Anarchy. They are not bound to Miraculous and as such aren’t liabilities like the rest of us.” Having his words thrown back at him seemed to shut him up for the moment but Superman started making exaggerated gestures. Tikki let out an annoyed sigh before snapping again and removing the gags from him and Green Lantern.

“You can’t just release entities like that on this plane with no way to control them!” All five of the Kwami rolled their eyes.

“First, giving them human forms limits their powers, much like the Miraculous do. Second, control was your major objection to the rest of us. Third, if they become a problem it’s a simple fix. I created their bodies so Plagg can destroy them.” Everyone in the room flinched except the Kwami themselves.

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@noirdots @valeks-princess @chocolatecatstheron @krispydefendorpolice @bee-wrecker @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @northernbluetongue @paradoxal-occurance @scrumptiouslyelegantchaosqueen @sonif50 @thequestionablyhuman @persephonebutkore @elspethshadow @geekydragonyt @mmwolf1605 @da-tasuky @mjisntme @bluerosette23 @anjuschiffer @littleredrobinhoodlum @tazanna-blythe @resignedcatservant @schrodingers25 @seraphichana @persephonescat @punstoppablechatnoir @magicalfirebird @crazylittlemunchkin @corabeth11 @cyborgcandy @casual-darkness @shamefullove @miraculous-simmer7 @tamoni112 @cat181818meow @littleblue5mcdork @allthebooksandcrannies @enchanted-nerd @disneyfoxuniverse @fallinginthe-void @mandy984 @goggles-mcgee @fontegagrilledcheese @dorkus-minimus @theatreandcomicfreak @zerotosiki @ayuchan07 @mindfulmagics @urbanpineapplefarmer @winter-gardenflower @mooshoon @my-name-is-michell @melicmusicmagic @7-sage-7 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @alicesangelofmusic @caffeinetheory @nataladriana9 @multplelifes @wanderingreader1019 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mvaree @redscarlet95 @storyteller-d @howabouticallyou @ginamarie1512 @kurogaya913 @tbehartoo @maddrag @two-faced-biatch @senyahgirl @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @iloontjeboontje @kakashixobito @welcometopradasa @amirahevens @amlesi @miraculousbelladonna @virgil-is-a-cutie @18-fandoms-unite-08 @cupcakeandkisses @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @book-r-the-best @dur55 @moonlightstar64 @fertileleaf @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @thecaptainthunder @danielslilangel @novicevoice @nyaabinch @interobanginyourmom @welcometopradasa @charlietheepic7 @im-here-for-the-content @maya-custodios-dionach @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @starwindmaden @tired-butterfly @rogueptoridactyl @emeraldpuffguide @suzen23smith @yuulxd @animegirlweeb @alovelyocean @kris-pines04 @semaalcocer-blog @cadencehood @jardimazul @shethecat @silent-storms-posts @simplysslytherin @tog84 @thesunanditsangel @dast218 @tall-and-angry @the-alice-of-hearts @captainmac6 @theyellowfeverexperience @chrismarium @alessialeone6997 @heaven428 @tinyterror333 @smolplantmum @lilyellowink @naoryllis @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou @magewriter @doodledeerest @athena452 @peachedpocky @tired-butterfly @risingmoonyue @lunammoon @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law  @bobothyross @silvergold-swirl @loysydark @heaven428 @peachedpocky @hauntedwintersweets @awesome-starfish-and-tacos @silvergold-swirl @rosesgonerogue @castielsofficialtoothbrush @myazael @aestheticnpoetic @creator-josie @sturchling @snowstar1016 @myblacknightworld @kittycatwowmeow @midnightkaito @chylou34 @hufflejournals @indecisive-mess-named-me @uwuteamleader @sassakitty @jessigurl-design @demigodgirl20031 @freshbark @soup-served-chilling @elmokingkong @unknownvsworld @thatonegaybitchfromschool @tis-i-beanbandit @damianette-is-life @peachesbackup @nobodyw8s4evr @the-fusionist @iwantwhirlledpeasandlotsatrees @chocolateherringtacofan

[qualidude]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could talk to you abt something bc i sometimes see ppl reaching out to you but it's ok if you don't want to or if something I say is wrong or inappropriate just ignore it. but like i always had some issues w/ my body bc im afab but some older ppl in my family usually say I don't have big enough breasts or say the way I dress and am isn't very feminine and even though I think I always rejected things that are perceived as too feminine I still internalized a lot of feeling wrong about my body/ the way i am and then when I was a teen I realized I was a lesbian and i thought "oh that's it, there's that". But since then (I'm 23 now) ive been learning and realizing stuff about gender and how i feel about everything and i started feeling like i don't wanna really get put in this woman box my family taught me and "everyone" expects but im not uncomfortable with my pronouns and i also had a moment when a person questioned me about transitioning unprompted and i felt uncomfortable bc i don't wanna be perceived as a guy. And here on tumblr I learned about non binarity and stuff which makes sense to me bc i started looking at myself and instead of going like "ok I'm a woman" i just try to see myself for myself and it makes so much more sense? but i also feel somewhat wrong like I'm being disrespectful or lying bc i actually prefer using she/her and i don't really wanna ~come out to most the ppl in my life about this. And i don't care being called a girl or a boy (in my first language most words are gendered so I don't care too if someone refers to me with a masculine gendered word, depending on the tone and who says it I guess). And also i realized I don't wanna reject all feminine stuff I just don't wanna be viewed as a woman conforming to what is expected. But yea I feel wrong bc it's all more about how i wanna look like and be perceived I guess (?) Like i wanna be androgynous looking or dress like it or have like a aura idk and also i feel much more comfortable viewing myself, as I said earlier, me just like me not trying to fit the expectations of gender binarity. I guess I'm sending this ask bc i don't know who to talk to and express these feelings and also bc idk if this is a big deal or if I'm wrong in anyway bc i feel kinda like im an imposter or something and I'm resisting talk to ppl close to me about it bc of it too like i only talked to two ppl but really superficially(?) Idk and I'm sorry too if this is confusing! If this ask is ok and idk you could give me advice or some input or anything that could help and i could come off anon for it to be private I would really like it. (I'm sending this in anon bc im somewhat scared jsjsja) but again if this is too much or inappropriate I'm really sorry

sorry this took me so long to get around to answering! I’ve been mostly offline the past few days 💖

I want to start by saying you are absolutely valid in your feelings about gender and it doesn’t make you any less non-binary to prefer she/her pronouns for yourself. Gender is a very individual experience and no two people feel exactly the same! ♥️ You don’t have to change anything about your body or appearance to be trans. The only thing that makes someone trans is that they experience their assigned gender differently from cis people in that same group.

It is also totally valid for you to not want to come out to people in your life for any reason, be that safety or just for your own comfort. I still have not come out to my family, not because I’m necessarily scared of their reaction as much as they haven’t really shown me that they are deserving of that conversation because of how much emotional work I would have to do to help them understand me. Instead, I’ve been surrounding myself with people who do understand me and see me for who I am already.

My best advice to you would be to keep talking to the people you’re comfortable talking to, and to approach others in your life at your own pace and comfort. It’s okay if you never end up telling them! You might find yourself getting closer to the people you can talk about it with, and drifting away from the other people in your life, and that’s totally okay too! I have replaced many friends over the years who weren’t able to get on my level