#Im tired so less speaking and feedback
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theskee · 22 days ago
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hi! i dont know if you answer asks or anything, but i just wanted to write in and say i love your works so much. i’m not sure if you’re on hiatus, if you have writer’s block or if you’re simply just busy — but ever since i’ve read your works my standards for fanfics have been raised to a point where it seems like nothing even compares.
i think you’ve moved on from writing them but i really miss your jotajosu fics, i was ADDICTEDDD and i might even go back and reread a few but im at a point in my life where i associate nothing but happy times with your fanfics because that’s how much joy they brought me when i read them. i downloaded bluesky just for you when you moved, but i barely use it, and i even check your ao3 periodically and i get a little sad when there arent uploads. but i hope you’re putting yourself first and doing well.
if your comms are open i would love to commission you for a jotajosu fic, i miss my boys so much and the fandom is dying. :(
WITH MUCH MUCH LOVE AND THE HIGHEST REGARDS!! ♡
I do answer asks! I always try to answer any asks or comments or messages I get. I'm just slow sometimes as life is very busy lol. I do not have the free time I used to. First of all, I'm very grateful you took the time to send such a kind message about my Jotajosu fics from a couple years ago. The time I spent working on them was something I really valued and treasured. I learned a lot in the like. Almost two years I spent working on fic after fic. There were like 50 of them and over a million words. And that's just the stuff that I wound up publishing lol. To know that it was enjoyed is nice, especially since positive feedback got really thin on the ground toward the end of my time with the pairing before I ultimately decided to leave that fan space. I have been less than active for a good chunk of the year as I was going through a lot in my personal life. I didn't exactly intend to go on hiatus but I guess it kind of is an unintentional one. I burned out hard after my time with Jotajosu and life has certainly done a good job of keeping that burnout rolling. I am trying to work on fic again, slowly but surely poking away and new stuff now that I've moved on completely from jotajosu. I am sorry to hear that my lack of activity is a bummer. Trust me, it bums me out, too. But fanwork is one of those things that I use to de-stress and it requires the right balance of inspiration, free time, and motivation, which has been hard to come by this past year. I'm very very tired lol. And yes, I have definitely been putting myself first. I have been writing fanfiction and original work since I was 12, so the better part of 21 years at this point. I live and breathe the creative craft, but I go through periods of rest that tend to be pretty long stretches at times. My AO3 upload history will speak to that lol. To know my work touched people, entertained, and provided a joy that brings back fond memories, is the highest compliment I could possibly receive. I hope to one day make original works and get published. That's the real dream, for sure. I no longer do any kind of commissions, I simply don't have the time. And I wouldn't be able to deliver the same kind of quality of writing if I made myself write in spite of this. I've got a lot of distance between myself and Jotajosu now, and the spark for that particular pairing has definitely died out. I don't even really discuss the pairing in private with friends anymore. There's a lot of love there for the time I shared and the people I met. The friends I made. But the pairing itself is one that definitely has passed me by. I'm more focused on other things now, and most of them are writing projects I'm doing in private with a good friend for the sake of just, writing without limitations or boundaries or concerns for an audience. It's been really healing. But I do hope to get back into publishing fanfiction again soon. Thank you again, for your kindness. It means a lot to me. I hope you take care, anon. x Skee
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allylikethecat · 6 months ago
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"I'm starting to get worried y'all hate this fic and me..." WRONG if i ever say anything negative about you then shoot me because that is NOT ME!!!!!!
ok no formattying (that was unintentional but its funny so im leaving it) sorry, but im going insane over this chapter like KAJDHWKJS. george feeling guilty !!!!!!!!! im literally about to die pls. the END omg im dying. theyre both so sad i just want to shake them by the shoulders and yell TALK at them PLEASE. speak. COMMUNICATE. sorry i cant even form words im so tired but id read this fic from my grave idgaf.
"But most of all he hated himself." STOP IT. IM GONNA CRY. george no pls he loves u u love him talk it out its fine its fine talk it out IM GONNA SCREAM. ok. insanity over. enjoy your day and i hope you are blessed by the gods for this fic i sweae
AHHH Hello again!! AHHH Thank you so much for reading oh my gosh!! You weren't kidding about reading it asap! Also sorry for being insecure on main 😭 sometimes the self doubt creeps in even when I don't want it to... rationally I know that I write my fics for fun, for me, because I enjoy it, but sometimes I get nervous when I don't see any feedback on them since I don't have a beta reader anymore... then I fully convince myself they suck or that I have gone completely in the wrong direction 😬
Yes! Fictional!George is feeling SO GUILTY he has finally had time to like... settle down and has realized that maybe he reacted a little irrationally / over the top... and also more than that he misses Fictional!Matty, yes he's jealous of the success he's having but he doesn't look happy in any of the pictures he just looks tired and that makes Fictional!George sad. He's spend MONTHS working to get Fictional!Matty to look a little less haunted and he personally has ruined all of his hard work 💀 Hopefully they'll talk things out soon... 😇
LOL Fictional!George is now shifting his hatred of Fictional!Matty inward (was he just projecting his own issues with self worth onto Fictional!Matty the entire time 🤔 idk but I think both of them need some therapy...) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING and your INCREDIBLE ask omg!! I am currently watching the SCF so we will see how my day ends up hahahaha (Get your shit together Panthers if you blow this after leading the series 3-0 I will never recover) I hope you are having the most wonderful of Fridays and that you have a wonderful weekend!!
❤️Ally
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petboymart · 4 years ago
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you know what time it is? it’s kitty!lev and kitty!yaku time
so you adopt pure bread kitty!lev from a breeder because they’re were having a sale, and you just fell in love with him and his adorable face. the thing is, you already have a little calico kitty, yaku, your little angel. you love him so much. so on the car ride home you tell lev about yaku and internally hope that the two of them get along!!!
they do NOT get along. oh my fucking god. lev tried to intimidate yaku with his size and yaku doesn’t give a fuck but it does piss him off so then he attacks him, and lev always submits to him every time, so you don’t understand why tf he keeps TRYING to be the boss. he just gonna get his ass whooped like jesus lev learn.
at one point you even considered finding lev a new home. but then you walked in on yaku licking levs ears clean while he slept and you were like ok. maybe this will work.
then the next day lev bit yakus tail while he was sleeping.
it takes about a month for lev to stop challenging yaku, i can’t help it master! he’s so small why does he get to be in charge! lev complains. yaku answers with a quick, because i’m older, smarter, and have more common sense then you do! and he sticks out his little tongue.
once lev starts listening to yaku, with no more than a little complaint here and there, everything goes a lot smoother. yaku helps lev learn where everything in the house is, he shows him where the best spots to lay are, how to get masters attention, how to beg for food, and he even starts to lick lev clean, despite the tall ones complaints.
now that they get along, they play together, nap together, and eat together. it’s such a relief honestly, you were so worried that yaku was getting lonely due to your longer shifts at work these past few months. you started coming home at 8:00 instead of 5:00 but you were only working this much to get a promotion, which you’re pretty sure you’ll get soon, then you can start coming home at 5:00 again and spend more time with your boys.
sleeping is always a disaster. because lev is so big, he takes up a lot of room, he likes to either be the little spoon or lay his head on your chest. now yaku likes to be the big spoon or he like to nuzzle his head into your stomach. so you either end up in a triple spoon with you in the middle, or you have yaku yelling at lev all night because you’re stupid long arms and legs take up all the room on masters stomach! move them or i swear i will bite you!
one time, before they got along, yaku woke you up by eating you out, and lev was very upset. having had yaku for a while before you got lev he was already comfortable with sex and intimacy. whereas lev, wanted intimacy but was nervous to ask for it. so seeing yaku do something that he wanted to do really ticked him off. he pouted the entire day until you promised him that you love him and yaku equally even if you and lev aren’t intimate yet. then he perked up and was back to his energetic self.
you’re coming home at 5:00 today, all your hard work finally paid off and you got your promotion!! you’re so exited to see your boys!!
you get home and they don’t run to greet you at the door, which you assume is because they’re not used to you coming home this early. you go to enter the bedroom but stop upon hearing smacking sounds. you slowly open the door, as to not alert them, and see lev bent over yakus knee pants down to his knees as yaku spanked his ass bright red.
you can hear levs quiet sniffles, and see yaku massaging his cherry red ass. you can hear yaku asking lev are you sorry? lev quietly says yes, what are you sorry for? lev says i’m sorry for biting you while you were napping and pushing you off the chair that i wanted. yaku smiles and calls lev a good boy.
you open the door and cough, both boys heads snap in your direction. levs face immediately light up, he runs up to you nearly tripping over his pants and says master master master you home early!! yaku slowly creeps up to your side and snuggles into you. well, you did want to come home to spend more time with your boys.
next thing you know yaku has you in doggy style, and levs cock is in your mouth. yaku uses your hair to pull your mouth of lev when it looks like he’s about to cum. only good boys get to cum yaku says, and you haven’t been a good boy today. lev whines about how he was already spanked and he said he was sorry, yaku considers it before telling you to suck levs cock until he cums. and hold it in your mouth, little slut! yaku says
lev cums in you mouth a few moments later and you hold it in like a good girl. yaku flips you over the missionary and makes you open your mouth before spitting in it and telling to to swallow. yaku cums in you shortly after.
after that series of events the three of you have sex pretty often. yaku is the boss in the bedroom for obvious reasons and you and lev are on the same level, sometimes yaku lets you decide if lev gets to cum or not, and you always let him. he’s such a good boy he deserves to cum!
yaku normally fucks your pussy or little hole until he gets tired and then he lets lev have a turn, but he still tells him what to do. and you and lev must ALWAYS as for permission to cum. cuming without permission results in a lot of spanks.
overall very good kitty boys 10/10, would recommend
-✌️
Yaku could spank me anyday
Thank you
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hollandsmushroom · 4 years ago
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Broken Rules and Ruined Lace
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Pairing:Tom Holland x Reader AU:No Word Count:3,134 A/n:Um, this is just pure filth pretty much, its slightly edited so I hope it is good but I am not sure…I think everything I write is shit so um, feedback is greatly appreciated. Warnings: Smut Masturbation, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Slight Degradation, Cum Play, Cum, Dom!Tom, Smut, Oral(F receiving), unprotected sex, orgasm control, orgasm denial, spanking(one mention). I think that is everything if not I am sorry.
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It’s not that you wanted to break Tom’s rule, you didn’t want to be his brat, you really wanted to be his good girl. But as soon as you woke up you knew that you were fighting a losing battle and all you could do was try and hold off the inevitable.
You remember when Tom set the rule, both of you laying in bed, your had rested on his sweaty chest as you stared up at his flushed face, entranced by the movement of his lips, they were still wet with your arousal and his spit, the slickness catching the minimal rays of light in the shadowed room causing the thing yet plump flesh to glisten, distracting you from his words.
“Y/n?” he gave your head a light tug, forcing your eyes to meet his “Are ya listening to me?” His accent was thick and words were stern.  
“No, sorry”
“I was saying you can’t touch yourself without permission” he growled, mashing his mouth to yours teeth hitting each other with the pressure of the open mouthed kiss. “So no more of what you did today, you hear me?” he asked, breathing heavily from the intensity of the kiss, his eyes looking deep into yours searching for recognition, you gave it to him in the form of a nod and a quiet “Yes, Tommy” before curling even further into him.
As you recalled what that night you knew you should be focusing on the assertiveness he used when speaking to you but all you could think about was how his lips felt on yours. On days like these his words never left your mind, but today you were more focused on remembering your cum on his lips. You knew that you needed permission but you didn’t want to bother with asking him if you could get off without him. Deep down you knew the excuse of not wanting to bother him was simply that, an excuse because you knew what his answer would be and it would be so much easier to disobey if he didn’t know that you had been thinking about it already, if he didn’t know to check if you had broken, if he didn’t remind you of the consequences.
When you had woken up Tom was already gone, you knew that he had press for Spider-Man No Way Home which was premiering tonight, your cunt on the other hand, had a mind of its own. As soon as you had fully awoken you felt a heat in your core, a fire that was waiting to be stoked, one that the clenching of your thighs in an attempt to alleviate the desire only worsened. A small whimper passing your lips as your thighs pressed your labia together, applying pressure to your swollen clit. You tried to ignore it, hauling your ass out of bed and to the kitchen, fixing yourself a nice cup of tea, sipping slowly as you tried to focus on anything else. The burn of the hot liquid on your tongue or how the marble counter was digging into your lower back, even Tessa’s cold nose nuzzling your calf, but nothing was working.
Deciding to put off making a choice until after breakfast, you fixed yourself something to eat. Focusing on the food in front of you as you did your best not to burn anything. Your brain was a debate, divided and arguing over the pros and cons. The pros were simply that you would get off, that the burning itch of ecstasy would go away, the cons well out weighed them, Tom’s punishment should have been threat enough but the state you were in was something past rationality. You surprised yourself by your decision that you were gonna do it. Eyes looking at the clock on the oven, the digital flash of numbers alerting you that Tom would be home in a couple hours, enough time for you to have your fun and not get caught.
You felt a little bad about disobeying Tom, but as soon as your hypersensitive skin met your sheets, and the pads of your fingers touched your clit, all guilt evaporated from you. Your mind was on him the whole time, how his fingers felt in you and on you. Pinching your nipples between your thumb and pointer finger, rolling the nub gently as you rubbed your clit furiously. Your body had been ready to go since you woke up, your orgasm building mere minutes after you began, your fingers covered in your slickness, you wished they could be cleaned by Tom’s tongue. You wanted it to be his fingers or better yet his cock that grazed over your g-spot making you dive into the pool of ecstasy that overflowed in your lower belly. You came down from your high, eyes falling upon the large blotch of liquid that squirted from your core, tainting your pure grey sheets, you assured yourself that it would dry before Tom got home not finding it in you to change the bed sheets.
You felt much more calm, your body feeling less like it was vibrating in a high speed desire ridden anxiety, it felt like you could breath and like you weren’t about to explode. You looked at the clock, knowing that you needed to get ready and you still had just over enough time to get yourself to the state that was presentable to the world. Making your way to the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping in, scrubbing your hands clean, trying to rid them of your strong scent.
Tom came home from the press junket an hour later, already ready for the event, having had to be all put together since this morning for press. You heard him, his footsteps sounding on the hardwood floor followed loudly by Tessa’s claws clicking as she ran up to him, his voice was tired and beautiful, sounding like home and calling to you.
“Love, you here?”
“Up here Tommy” you shouted in response, continuing to apply your final bits of makeup to be prepared for the evening, specifically the red carpet.  Tom followed the sweet notes of your voice, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, to ground himself from all the insanity that was the countless interviews. Tom found his plans changing when he saw something on the covers of your shared bed, his eyes catching on some patches of dampness on the grey duvet cover, they were mostly dry but still altering the color of the sheet a shade darker than it would normally be. His eyebrows raised up his forehead he went to check it was, making sure that Tessa hadn’t peed on the bed again. As soon as got near the spots a familiar scent hit him, arguably his favorite smell, one that almost always made his cock harden, the only exception being when he was already fucked out. It was the smell of your arousal, your cum to be more specific.
He was confused, you hadn’t had sex in a couple of days so why would your cum be on the sheets, unless you broke his rule. He felt a fury boil inside of him, mindlessly drawing him to where you stood in front of the mirror preparing yourself for the premier of his movie tonight.
“Hi Tommy!” you spoke excitedly as you could, your focus on the spooly in your hand applying mascara to your lashes. Without a word his hand wrapped around your wrist pulling your dominant hand to his face.
“Tom what the fuck” you exclaimed, angry that he had interupted you and almost ruined your face of make up but that anger melted quickly, realizing what he was doing as he unfurled your pointer and middle finger from around the mascara wand, bringing them to his nose as he glared at you.
The scent was faint on his nose, not as noticeable as it had been on the bed sheets but yet it was still present, hidden under multiple bouts of hand washing trying to rinse your disobedience down the drain with your lavender scented hand soap but clearly you hadn’t be thorough enough, the faintest hint still present.
“Tom, I-”
“No talking” he bit at you, your mouth shutting immediately as you nodded at his words. He pushed his body against yours, the imprint of his dick showing through his trousers before it pressed against you. His lips burn the skin on your neck before scratching his teeth over the juncture of your shoulder and your collar bone, biting down hard, making you hiss at the pain. “You broke the rule, I should have expected that you being the little fucking brat that you are” he chastized, his fingers bunching up the edges of your dress, hiking it up until the ruffled silk sat above the round of yoru ass, you barely clothed core visible to Tom’s hungry eyes as he knelt infront of you, fingers slipping inbetween your thighs and forcing them apart, a wave of yoru arousal hitting his nose. “You smell so sweet, I would love to devour your pretty little cunt but that’s only for good girls’’ he leans in and bites your mons, the lace barely protecting you from the blunt of his teeth.
The lace scrunched up beneath his teeth as he tugged it farther from your burning skin, pulling them downwards as he exposed your core, mouth watering as he saw your wetness connect to the crotch of your panties to your cunt. He had to remind himself that he couldn’t that you didn’t deserve it, that he was angry with you, but god did you look fucking delicious.
“Im gonna fuck you so hard, your legs are gonna shake the whole way down the red carpet, you’re gonna need me there to hold you up, even though you don’t need me cause you got off on your own” Tom spat, undoing his belt buckle.
“I do need you” you whimpered, the cold on your core nearing pain, all the blood rushing between your thighs increasing your sensitivity, the contrast of the chilled atmosphere on your burning skin already too much for you to handle.
“What did I say about talking, pretty girl” his often soothing voice coming out as a snarl. Taking the base of his cock he ran his tip through your folds, coming downwards over your clit before stopping at your entrance, thrusting into you without any warning, fully entering you with the first thrust. Tom watched as you bit your lip, nearly hard enough to draw blood.
“Good girl, stay quiet” he ordered as he started to thrust, the impetus of his hips making his balls slap against your taint, a jolt rolling up your spine as you felt every inch of him pulsing inside of you.
You wanted to scream, to whine, to moan, but all you could do was bite your lip as the pleasure started to overtake your body, every inch of your body being set aflame as Tom continued his thrusts. Tears were pricking your eyes as his hand gripped into your yielding and supple flesh, you felt your orgasm building, and you knew that Tom was too, his tip twitching against your walls, but just as you were about to unravel he pulled out, grabbing his cock and sliding his hand up and down it, thick white spools of cum shooting out, and landing on your panties, tainting the french lingerie that Tom had bought you on a romantic get away not long before. You were less worried about the lace, more about the intensified burning between your thighs that you now knew wasn’t being satisfied or eased anytime soon.
“It’s time to go,” Tom informed, pulling back from you leaving you standing there, your face portraying nothing but shock, eyes flitting between the cum that tainted your red lace panties and Tom’s smirking face. He tugged your panties back up your legs, soothing the lace over your core and spreading the cum across your folds before planting a kiss on your lips. “Come on” he tugged your wrist and led you down stairs to head to the event.
At the red carpet you felt his cum cooling on your folds and slipping between them, spreading around with every single step you took, you felt it seeping through your lace, smearing on your thighs and making them sticky. It was all you could think about the whole evening, how it continued to spread and absorb into your soft skin, it felt too much, and he wasn’t even touching you. Tom could tell how much it was affecting you, occasionally rubbing his hand up your thigh and gathering a little on his fingers, sneakily placing them in his mouth and sucking them clean. When you arrived home, you were a mess, your thighs sticking with his cum but slipping with your own arousal. It was enough to make you cum just thinking about it, and you were pretty sure you could if given the chance, but you weren’t. As soon as you reached the solace of your bedroom Tom spoke up, really the first time since before the event.
“Let’s get ready for bed” he suggested, causing a frown to overtake your face, but not wanting to make things worse you gave a curt nod and headed to the bathroom, grabbing one of Tom’s shirts on the way in there. You stripped yourself of your constraining dress, slipping on the loose fabric, and involuntary sigh escaping your lips at the feeling of freedom. You had already finished your nightly routine when Tom came in, you were right about to sit down and clean yourself up when he caught you by the waist.
“Nuh uh, don’t clean yourself up yet” he whispered, breath hot on your neck making goosebumps spread wherever his breath touched. “Go lay on the bed and wait for me” he ordered, placing a soft kiss beneath your ear. Spinning you in the direction of the door, and laying a slap on your ass, watching it jiggle as you walked away.
You laid down on the bed, you were stuck on thinking about what was about to happen, having been nearly positive that you already got your punishment for your disobedience. Tom sensed your confusion as soon as he walked into the room, standing at the end of the bed for a moment, watching you as you watched him, his eyes eager as they caught your pussy peeking out from beneath the hem of your shirt.
“I’m gonna make you cum with my tongue” was all he said before he was on you kissing his way down your body, lifting up the oversized shirt that now covered your body, nothing underneath it. The soft cotton bunching up much like your dress had earlier in the evening.
“Look at this cunt, so fucking gorgeous” Tom groaned, looking at how his cum still covered the lips of your pussy. “I love seeing my cum on you” his tongue flicked out and licked some of the arousal that was leaking from your entrance, the mixture of his spunk and your slick delicious on his taste buds.
“Tommy I want you in me” you whimpered, tugging on his hair.
“Nuh uh baby girl, I’m letting you cum on my tongue, you don’t get to be greedy, “ he growled, softly sinking his teeth into your clit. “You can moan, you can touch me, but you will only cum when I tell you too” you nodded your head eagerly, at the point where you would have agreed to anything just to have him touch you properly. He said nothing else, no words, no noise, simply licking over the closed lips of your pussy, enjoying the taste, if he hadn’t drained his cock earlier he knew that he would have been hard, and he was actually happy he wasn’t, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold out from fucking you to completion if he was.
“Taste so fucking good, baby” he slipped his tongue between your lips, licking over the folds and vallies that lined the inside of your vulva.
“Tom T-t-Tom you feel so- fuck good” you moaned, threading yoru fingers in his hair as you tried to pull him closer to you trying to smear your cunt across his face, but he fought back, he was gonna make you cum, but in his own time. Finally after multiple minutes of kitten licks and light kisses between your folds he fully delved into your cunt. Licking a heated spitty stripe from entrance to clit. He pulled back and spat on your clit, rubbing his nose against it as his tongue slipped into your cunt, licking the inside of nudging that one spot deep inside of you as his nose bumped into your clit. He continued this action over and over again, the thrust of his tongue increasing the pressure on your clit.
“Tommy, I-I-I’m gonna cum” you whimpered, your legs trying to clamp around his head but his hands held them in place.
“Cum on baby, cum on my face” he spoke into your cunt as he sped up his movements, letting pushing you over the edge, and you fell, your back arching off the sheets as your body tensed, toes curling into the duvet as your breath was pulled from you lips, a silent scream on your mouth. He held you through your orgasm, only tearing away from your pussy when he was sure he had milked you of everything that you had. Licking his lips and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he watched you, your eyes were clenched shut as you tried to catch your breath. Your high, leaving you so blissed out that you didn’t realize Tom had left and come back until a cool wet towel soothed your burning core, a sigh escaping your lips.
Throwing the towel into the hamper he crawled into bed next to you, pulling you into him. His touch still burned your skin, the need to unravel around him still not having been satiated. He seemed to sense your tension, rubbing his hand down your back and breaking the thick silence in the air.
“You’ll get what you want tomorrow morning, love, I promise, but don’t you dare think of getting off while I’m asleep,” he hummed, kissing your temple before turning off the light. You wanted to whine, to complain and be a brat but you knew that would just get you even farther from cumming around Tom’s pretty cock, so you maintained your peaceful silence, eyes fluttering shut just thinking of what you were gonna get the next morning.
@thehumanistsdiary @spydeysense​
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butterflyyeo · 3 years ago
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jealous
pairing — han jisung x reader
genre — angst (?)
tw — slightly suggestive (?)
wc — 3035
a/n — yall idk wtf this is im trying my best to get better at writing angsty (???) stuff so im really sorry if this is absolute trash T^T. feedback is appreciated !!
———————————
you hadn't seen your brother, chan, for a long time, six months to be exact and of course you missed him dearly. when he called to tell you that he was coming home for a while you nearly cried of joy, however, the happiness faded when he mentioned that he'd be bringing his band mates, that meant changbin... and han jisung.
it wasn't exactly a secret that you didn't get along with jisung, and you never knew why. he always just irked you a bit, and on purpose too. it was constant bickering between the two of you, fortunately, chan and changbin had learnt to tolerate it. speaking of changbin, you actually quite liked him and he was rather fond of you too. chan knew this, in fact, chan saw all the underlying tension between you and the rest of 3racha. he was thankful that he was your brother, but he didn't have to intervene, he was fully aware that you could handle these things on your own. unless of course you asked for help, and in that case, he would go to war for you.
a sturdy knock hit the door a few times and you ran to the door, unlocking it.
"channie!!" you leaped onto him and hugged him tightly. he dropped his bags down to the floor just so he could hug you back. "i've missed you so much!" you said as you hopped down and picked up both of his bags.
he grinned, "i've missed you too, y/n."
your smile dropped almost instantly as you saw jisung leaning against the doorway, a smirk across his face that just made you want to slap him. faking a smile, you greeted changbin, "hey changbin! good to see you." he gave you a sincere nod and smile before picking up his suitcase. "now chan, shall i put these in the guest room?" you asked, chan was already going through the fridge, looking for food.
"mm." he mumbled. you took it as a yes and heaved his bags to the guest room, dumping them beside the bed. as you turned around to help changbin with his luggage, someone blocked your way.
"you didn't say hello to me?" jisung questioned, though, it sounded more like a statement.
huffing, you responded, "why would i?"
"because you love me," he said as he leaned in close. "and you missed me."
"you must be confused." you shrugged and pushed past him. that was too close for comfort. you thought as you walked out and picked up changbin's last bag.
"hey y/n," chan began, "what's for dinner?"
you sighed, "i'm gonna have to go shopping chan, i don't have enough food for all of you." you went to put your shoes on and a jacket too, since it was getting late and more chilly outside. "who wants to chauffeur me to the grocery store?" you joked.
"anything for you, my love." jisung said teasingly as he held his hand out to you.
"uh, i'd rather not." you swatted his hand away. "c'mon changbin, let's go!" you said while dragging changbin up from the sofa. he groaned, but honestly he didn't mind so much. he was just being a big baby.
the car trip was short and quiet, mainly because changbin was tired from all the travelling they had done to get to your house. plus, their schedule has been so full lately, they were lucky to have this time off.
wandering through isles, you began picking up ingredients and placing them intro a trolley.
"you really missed us?" changbin began, "me and chan of course..." he trailed off but a playful smile tugged at his lips.
"of course i am! jisung on the other hand..." you rolled your eyes, pushing the trolley along.
he chucked, "you really still hate each other? after all these years?"
you huffed, a little too obnoxiously, "yes. i do still hate him. and i'm sure he despises me too. i don't even know what it is... it's just... the way he treats me. he acts like he deserves my friendship, which he doesn't. it's something you earn."
"remind me to never piss you off." changbin laughed as he put a bag of chips in the trolley.
once you had everything you needed you put it through the register, changbin insisted he paid, since you were letting the three of them live with you.
shortly after you arrived home, you began cooking. while he wasn't the best, changbin offered to help as best he could. you actually thought it was really sweet. he passed you utensils, condiments and he even set the table.
meanwhile, chan was fast asleep in the guest room and jisung was showering in the provided ensuite. you turned to changbin and high fived him, "we're all done! i should wake up chan. you can start eating if you want." proud of his efforts, changbin sat down and began to eat.
gently pressing the door open to the guest room, you whispered, "chan? dinner is ready." you walked over to him and was about to softly shake him when jisung walked out of the bathroom, only a towel around his waist. his tousled wet hair dripped little drops of water down his chest and it was rather overwhelming to see him so exposed.
contrary to your thoughts, he couldn't care less, he enjoyed watching the way you panicked and blushed heavily. if this is what it takes. he thought.
"oh! um, jisung. i'm so sorry, i was just coming to tell chan that dinner is ready, i should've knocked or-" you blurted out in a quiet voice, weary of chan waking up.
jisung let out a low chuckle, "it's fine, y/n. i'll wake him up once i've dressed."
"thanks," you said as you went to leave, "wait... no snarky comment?" you puzzled.
he said nothing, just winked at you as you closed the door.
you joined changbin at the dinner table, sitting across from him. "how's the food?" you asked as you took a bite for yourself.
"y/n it's amazing! you're seriously a great cook. man, i wish i was this good." he said as he took a small bite of the spaghetti you had prepared.
at that moment, chan dawdled out the door and jisung closely behind. they joined you at the table and also began eating.
"don't worry about it binnie, i can teach you to cook, years of living on my own without chan seems to have payed off a bit." you joked.
"binnie?" jisung questioned the nickname you had given to changbin, whilst changbin sat there furiously blushing. he tried to hide it by lowering his head but that honestly seemed it give it away more.
"sounds cute." you shrugged, not thinking much of it.
chan cleared his throat, "okay so here's the plan for tomorrow," he began, taking another bite of spaghetti, "changbin and i have to go talk to JYP about an upcoming show we are doing, so we could be gone all day with that. there's lots to plan."
"wait a second, why am i not going? i'm apart of 3racha too." jisung stated.
changbin replied, "did you get the email from him?"
jisung shook his head, "well, no but-"
"then you're not coming." changbin grinned cheekily, knowing this upset jisung.
when everyone had finished with their meal, changbin stood up and collected all the dirty dishes, only to begin washing them in the sink. you quickly tried to stop him, "oh, changbin! don't worry i can do that." you said as you tried to take over, but he refused.
"no. you won't. dinner was great! you've done enough for today, if we are gonna be living here for the next few weeks then i might as well be of some use." he smiled at you before nodding to the tv, signalling for you to relax.
tired as ever, chan come over and kissed your head goodnight before going back to sleep. by now it was nearly 10pm, you had a late dinner but that was because they arrived later than expected.
you sat down on the sofa and began browsing movies. you decided to watch your favourite, even though you've seen it a million times. once he was finished with the dishes, changbin joined you on the sofa to watch the movie, you quickly filled him in on all the little details of the plot.
jisung was still sitting at the dinner table, scrolling through his phone, he was contemplating coming to join the two of you in watching the movie, but decided against it when he saw changbin put his arm around you. rolling his eyes and scoffing a little too loud, jisung stood up and went to the guest room he was sharing with chan. he tried his best not to slam the door but somehow that didn't happen.
"huh, wonder what's up with him?" changbin asked, looking at the door wide eyed. "i'll go check, sorry, i'll be back in a sec." he followed jisung into the guest room, you heard changbin quietly ask if he was okay.
what started as a whispered discussion soon became a hushed argument, you were worried that soon they would start yelling at each other. luckily chan was a deep sleeper, he also slept with earphones in, so you were pretty sure he wouldn't hear any of it.
the minutes passed and their quarreling continued, you debated going in there to try and make some peace but you decided against it, this seemed to be something personal between the two of them. instead, you switched off the tv and the lights, and went got ready for bed. as you were about to close your eyes you heard the jingle of keys and the sound of the door opening and closing. whoever it was, you knew they could take care of themselves, they were both adults and probably just needed some space.
when you woke up, it was around 7am. you quickly threw a hoodie on over your shirt, feeling a bit cold and walked into the living space to see changbin, sleeping softly on the sofa. it only just occurred to you that there wasn't enough beds for all of you in your current living situation.
you gently peeked into chan's room to see him sprawled out, sleeping a deep sleep. you smiled to yourself, knowing that he got all the sleep he deserved. the empty bed in the room didn't go unnoticed however.
it was jisung who left last night. and he didn't seem to be back yet.
slightly worried, you decided to cook up some bacon and eggs for when the boys woke up.
"morning y/n." you turned around to see changbin leaning against the kitchen counter.
you smiled, "morning! sorry if i woke you up, i'm just making some breakfast, you've probably got time to shower if you want to before you eat."
"serious? man, what did we do to deserve you?" changbin said looking at you sincerely.
you laughed lightly, "nothing, now go! and please wake chan up when you get out."
he just chuckled as he walked away and closed the guest room door behind him. you wondered if you should make enough breakfast for jisung, would he be back soon? if he wasn't, he could just re-heat it, you thought.
the last few pieces of bacon finished cooking so you begin buttering the toast, you made a lot knowing that chan has a big appetite and there was a good chance they wouldn't have time to eat today. your train of thought was interrupted once again by changbin.
"anything i can do to help?" he asked, he was dressed quite smartly, but you understood as he was going to console with JYP himself.
"nope! i'm just about done, plus, you wouldn't want to dirty your clothes," you said as you began serving breakfast.
"ah okay, i woke chan up, he wanted to have a shower so he shouldn't be too much longer." he said, "can i?" he asked, pointing to one of the cups of steaming hot coffee you set on the counter.
"of course!" you said. a question burned in the back of your mind and you wondered if you should ask or not. "uh, changbin..." you began.
changbin knew exactly what you were about to say, "he's okay, y/n. he just wanted some space." his eyes stared at the wall blankly. there was more to this than needing space.
"so.. why was he upset then? you guys had a pretty heated argument.."
changbin's eyes met yours, "i'm sorry you had to hear that." he took a sip of coffee, "we just had a bit of a disagreement, it happens all the time... you see, the thing is-"
"good morning to my favourite people!" chan said as he waltzed out of the guest room, also looking rather sharp.
you and changbin smiled at his enthusiasm, "morning!" the two of you chimed back.
"breakfast made? hot coffee? you seriously are the best sister in the world! it's like we're staying at a five star hotel." chan said picking up a mug of coffee.
you laughed, "i'm your only sister."
he shrugged, "still the best," he took a sip and hummed, looking around the room, "hey, where's jisung?"
"i don't know. i heard him leave last night." you said, placing two plates of food at the dinner table.
chan sent a red hot glare at changbin, knowing exactly why jisung would've stormed out. changbin looked away sheepishly.
"okay, well, breakfast is ready! eat up, you guys have a busy day." you said sitting down in front of a plate.
chan and changbin began discussing things for later with JYP, while you just sat their mindlessly eating your breakfast. you still couldn't help but wonder where jisung had went, and why he wasn't back yet.
you had completely zoned out and was just picking at the scraps of your plate when chan spoke, "well that was seriously great y/n! what a good way to start the day."
you smiled at your brother, "ah, it's the least i can do, maybe you could ask JYP if you can dedicate a song to me in return."
the three of you laughed and you began to clear up the plates while the boys finished getting ready. shortly after, they said their goodbyes and closed the front door behind them. although the door muffled his voice, you heard chan say to changbin, "you seriously fought over that again?"
you sighed to yourself, what were you going to do all day? you decided to finish cleaning up and have a shower.
you let the water run until it was warm before stepping in, you had to remember to be mindful because you often got carried away and distracted in the shower and lost track of time.
which is, exactly what happened, before you knew it you had been half an hour. shit, you thought. as you wrapped a towel around your body, you remembered jisung and how you saw a little too much of him after he showered. you blushed furiously just remembering it. that's when you realised that your feelings for changbin were just a deflection of the feelings you have for jisung. you're ridiculous, you thought. he hates you, despises you, enjoys making fun of you. you quickly ruled out the possibility of him ever returning the feeling and finished dressing.
you spent the day multitasking some of your studies while watching movie after movie, trying to be somewhat productive. your stomach suddenly growled and you checked the time, "must be time for lun-" you said aloud, "oh, it's 5pm." you laughed at your silly sense of time and how you had got carried away all day. but you soon frowned, 5pm and jisung still wasn't back?
since the boys weren't home you made yourself a light meal and sat at the dinner table alone, listening to some background music. it was actually quite relaxing. the evening golden sun shone through the window as you finished eating. you quickly began washing up your plate, when you heard the door creak open.
"oh, chan you're home! i just finished eating, but i can make something for you and changbin just give me a min-" but when you turned around to greet them, it wasn't chan or changbin. it was jisung. "jisung."
"are you gonna admit that you missed me this time? or do i have to leave for longer?" he smirked but you just sighed in relief. you hated to confess that you worried you wouldn't hear his stupid comments for a long while.
you spoke quietly, "of course i missed you. i was worried sick."
"oh? worried now?" he toyed.
"yes, worried! i heard you arguing with changbin and then you left!" you exclaimed.
his face turned away at the mention of changbin's name, "well sometimes changbin and i argue, it's normal."
you scoffed, "that's what he said."
"he told you?" jisung asked.
"no, he didn't tell me what you fought about, but it would seem that it isn't the first time because i heard chan scolding him after they left this morning." you admitted.
"they're not back?"
you shook your head, "nope," jisung looked away, "look, i just had dinner but is there anything you want?"
"yeah." he began.
"what would you like?" you asked.
"you." jisung said bluntly, catching you off guard. "and changbin wants you too."
it all made sense now. "oh, i, i see.." you said, quite taken aback. "jisung, it could ruin everything, we'd be playing with fire."
"i don't care, y/n." he said taking a few steps closer.
"but, chan is my brother." you said.
"he's my best friend." jisung countered, coming closer again.
"what about changbin?" you asked.
"he's also my best friend." at this point, jisung was standing face to face with you.
"hang on a second," you took a step back, hitting the counter, "i don't owe you anything." you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips.
he smirked, "but i owe you everything."
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animereaderinsertwriter · 3 years ago
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Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)
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Part II
Part I (complete)
Part III (complete)
Part IV (in progress)
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?
Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.
Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.
Ao3 link here
Making deals with a vampire was one thing, (Y/N) supposed, but fulfilling such a deal was quite another.
When Zeke— who held the contradictory position of the regional Commander of the Hunters as well as the alpha of a local werewolf pack— had approached her with the idea of infiltrating Eren Jaeger's inner circle, she had jumped at the chance; her great-to-however-many-degrees grandfather really had been Jean Kirschtein, and she had read his old journal, and her curiosity about the Old Ways was always bubbling just beneath her skin. Zeke, she thought, must have known of her curiosity, because his offer had been everything she was searching for.
You'll have your answers, he told her, And we'll have ours. One way or another, the problem of Eren Jaeger will be solved through your efforts. There is no possible way to lose.
If only she had known how wrong Zeke had been.
At first, things with Eren were simple— well, as simple as things could be with such a delicate arrangement. It had been beyond easy to bait him into approaching her at the Creature bar on 76th Street, and aside from the first time, allowing time for Eren to feed was almost nothing. Even the process of feeding itself wasn't much of an ordeal— there was hardly any pain since he drew from her wrist after a warm soak, and the whole thing took less than five minutes— but around the second time, when the visions began, things began to be… different.
Little snippets of Eren's past began to come as the two of them interacted more and increased the amount of regular feedings. Sometimes it was as little as a feeling, a memory of a face that (Y/N) had never seen before; other times, it was like (Y/N) was truly there centuries ago, in a land that would one day become her home. Now, almost every time she let Eren drink from her, she was thrust back into a world where humanity was (literally) with it's back against the wall, fighting demons and mindless monsters just to survive; and, sometimes, the visions were so intense that she would come back from them terrified, shaking, and incapable of cogent thought. It was during those times that Eren held her, silent, resigned, and yet somehow caring until she was herself again.
It was strange; in the visions, Eren was often passionate to a fault. He was wild, like an animal, but kind, too. During times like these, when he cradled her in his arms as she was trembling with the force of a particularly poignant memory, (Y/N) wondered if the centuries had truly changed him, or if he hid that passion beneath the jaded indifference she had come to expect.
"You think too much," he told her as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. "Your heart is racing."
Of course it was— the terror of watching hundreds of people be consumed by the very wrath of hell itself would do that to a person— but (Y/N) had no rebuttal. She did think too much, and the end result was muddled reports sent back to Zeke and a clouded heart.
"You loved her."
It was a statement, not a question. Mikasa— the brave, beautiful woman that Jean Kirschtein had once loved— may not have always known it, but Eren truly had felt very deeply for her.
"More than life," Eren replied.
(Y/N) thought back to the memory— the sheer panic Eren had felt at the thought of losing his comrades, the desperation with which he strove to save them— and she amended her statement.
"You loved them all."
Eren hummed.
"More than the wide, wide world."
And (Y/N) thought that, perhaps, he truly meant it.
"What did you see this time?" he asked, his voice soft.
(Y/N) pulled back so that she and Eren were face to face, her legs straddling him. His eyes were glowing-green, and she shivered beneath their scrutiny.
"I saw a field full of demons," she told him, unable to meet his gaze. "You and Mikasa were defenseless, yourself having been pushed to your limit, and Mikasa's blades having been broken. There was nowhere to run, and you— you screamed, and—"
A large, warm hand caressed her cheek, and it occurred to (Y/N) that it was her own blood within Eren that gave him such warmth with which to comfort. She placed her smaller hand atop his, and the world seemed to freeze for a moment to allow this brief, intimate interlude.
"Do you understand now?" he asked as he did almost every time she had a vision. "Do you see why I did what I did?"
As always, (Y/N) shook her head, moving his hand from her face.
"No, I don't."
The response was never met with anger or frustration; Eren was only ever resigned to it. Before, (Y/N) might have felt scorn for such a man who cared so little, but now that she had seen who Eren had been, what he'd been through… perhaps he was simply tired of caring so much.
"You're beautiful when you're thinking."
The words caught (Y/N) off guard. She had known that Eren had thought she was attractive— his emotional feedback told her that much— but she had never thought that he would voice such a thought. The compliment heated her cheeks, and (Y/N) had to fight the urge to bury her face in her hands.
"I've always thought," said Eren, speaking slowly, choosing his words carefully, "That one can never truly appreciate the beauty of a blush until one could see it with the eyes of a vampire, or smell it as it rises on the cheek."
Eren placed a hand on her face, tilting it until their eyes were level.
"And as a vampire who has seen many beautiful blushes on many beautiful women, yours is the most bewitching of all."
(Y/N) swallowed thickly.
"Why are you saying this?"
Eren cocked his head to the side, studying her. It was a long moment before he spoke, but when he did, he gave an answer that (Y/N) was not expecting.
"Because it's true, and because I would very much like to kiss you."
(Y/N)'s heart leapt into her throat, but she didn't dare move one way or the other. She just stared at Eren, slack-jawed, as he stared patiently back.
"Why?" she asked when she had collected herself.
Eren shrugged. "Does that matter?"
(Y/N) supposed very much that it did matter, but she didn't feel the need to say so. She studied Eren closely— the latent hunger in his eyes, the set of his jaw, the stain of her blood on his lips— and she thought of how gentle he had been with her, how patient. She had no doubt that he would prove to be equally so in other matters, and she wanted him— but something stopped her.
It would be wrong of me to allow this, she thought, letting her eyes wander to Eren's lips. I'm his enemy, a spy for the Hunters. Allowing him and myself the potential of intimacy is too deep a betrayal, even for me.
Even so, she didn't stop him as he shifted her closer; even so, when his lips brushed hers, she kissed him back, tasting her own blood on his tongue.
"This is a bad idea," she whispered against his lips, shifting in his lap.
"How young you are," he said in return. "There is no such thing as a bad idea, only poor timing and execution. Take it from someone who has centuries of experience; rarely ever is the regret for having done something greater than the regret of not having done it."
So saying, he kissed her again, and (Y/N) threaded her hands in his hair as he reached beneath her shirt. His hands— warm, now, with the heat of her own blood— reached beneath the cup of her bra to cradle her breasts, and she exhaled a hiss as his fingertips found her nipples. She arched into him, pressing her flesh into his hands and parting their lips; he chuckled, dark and low, and she shivered at the sound.
"How many other Creatures have you tricked like this?" he asked, pressing kisses against her neck. "Tell me, pretty girl— just how many have fallen prey to your charms so that you can run back to your little doggy master with their deepest, darkest secrets?"
(Y/N) froze, stuck somewhere between fear, dread, and ecstasy. Eren knew— somehow, he knew— and yet he continued to touch her, kiss her, caress her as though nothing were amiss. Her whole body went still with shock, but Eren never stopped even for a moment.
"Come now, you can't think I didn't know." His lips were just below her ear now, and he closed his teeth around the lobe, teasing her with the sensation. "I can smell him on the papers in your bag; I can hear the clicking of the letters as you type your memos after I've pieced you back together for an evening. Most of all, I can hear the way your heart pumps a little faster when I feed you the information you want. I can taste your guilt in the very blood I take from you. You can hide nothing from me."
"Eren," she said as fear— rancid and terrible— began crawling up the back of her throat, "Eren, please, I haven't told him about the important things, I'm trying to make a case for you—"
He pulled away then, and when his piercing green eyes locked with her own, she stilled like a sparrow caught in the gaze of a cobra.
"I don't care," he replied simply. "You are what you are, and at your core, you cannot change that. It is the same with me. I'm not afraid of my half-mutt half-brother no matter what you tell him, and as long as you want what I have to offer, there's no reason not to take it for your own."
(Y/N)'s mind was reeling.
"Half-brother?"
Eren chuckled at her confusion.
"Oh yes, pretty one. Zeke Jaeger is my older brother, and I suspect he sent you to me just to you with the both of us." With a carnivorous grin, he added, "But little does he know that I play for keeps, and you're not the good little Huntress he must assume you are— that is to say, he must have no clue at all how hungry you are for vampire cock, hm?"
(Y/N) would be lying if she hadn't pictured Eren in… less than appropriate situations, but for fuck's sake, she wasnt blind. The man— vampire, Creature, whatever— was fucking gorgeous, and he damn well knew it, but that didn't mean she was gagging for it.
Did it?
"We can't do this," she said, pushing at Eren's chest, though he didn't budge an inch. "We shouldn't do this."
Eren cracked a grin, toothy with fangs that glistened.
"Says who?" he asked, his large, strong hands coming around to grab her by the ass. "You were perfectly fine with letting me kiss and touch when you thought I was in the dark— is it no longer any fun now that you don't feel like you're taking advantage of me?"
(Y/N) couldn't take it.
"Eren, be serious—"
"I am serious."
When she looked in his eyes and reached out with her own heart, (Y/N) knew that he was telling the truth. He wanted her regardless of anything, regardless of everything.
He simply wanted her.
Could that be so bad?
***
Eren didn't think that this would happen even in his wildest dreams, but when he saw (Y/N) splayed out on his gold silk sheets, he knew it wasn't the madness that Armin accused him of lying to himself about. No mind, well and whole or not, could ever conjure up such a vision. The woman who lay before him— naked and gorgeous— was beyond imagining. She was something from another world entirely.
"What are you doing?" she asked, puzzled as Eren stood over her, watching the rise and fall of her breasts. "Come hold me."
And how lovely was that? His natural enemy, his perfect prey, asking him to come hold her, as though his skin on hers was blessed assurance that he was there and wanting.
Maybe Eren was mad— or, perhaps he was dreaming. If he was, he hoped he never came back to himself. A world without this was not a world he ever wanted to return to.
"Yes," she hissed as he crawled atop her, his mouth suckling at her breast. No other creature that walked the earth could ever taste as sweet as her— having tasted many, many before, Eren would know— but even were that to be disproved, Eren wasn't sure he would much care. This woman would be his undoing.
"Touch me," she demanded, canting her hips up to him. "I want to feel you."
How could Eren ever deny her? He brought a hand down to her sex, caressing her there before parting her folds to quest for her clit. Having found it, he drew small, teasing circles, and she whined.
"Am I still a monster to you?" he asked into the hollow of her throat, placing biting kisses there as his hand kept busy with its work. "Still something to hate and abhor?"
"You're still a monster," she replied, so startlingly honest even now, "But I never once hated you. Oh Eren, please, I want you inside me, I—"
Her wish was his command; Eren plunged two fingers into her depths, and (Y/N) gasped at the intrusion. She was so wet already, and so tempting as she squeezed down on those fingers, rocking her hips as he withdrew them just to the tip and repeated the motion. The way she felt around his digits shouldn't have turned him on as much as it did, but as Eren slid in a third finger, he had to keep himself from letting out a groan.
"You're so beautiful," he told her as she writhed beneath him. "You truly, truly are."
Distantly, Eren wondered what Jean would think if he were alive to know who was finger-fucking his great-granddaughter, but when Eren remembered the nasty right hooks the taller man used to give him when he was being a shit, he figured that he would rather not know. Still, as he watched (Y/N) come undone on the tip of his fingers, he couldn't help but think that perhaps it was something of Jean's spirit— the part that even Eren had to admit was better, kinder, more human than most— that drew him to her.
"I want you," he said, withdrawing his hands and licking his fingers clean of her juices. "Do you feel ready enough?"
And then, as though to prove his point, (Y/N) sat straight up with the cutest little Jean-like scowl he had ever seen and pushed at his chest with no small amount of force. He went with the motion, and he found himself being mounted by her as she said,
"I'm not made of glass— if you can't wrap your head around that, I'll have to show you just what I'm capable of."
She did— and how! Powerful thighs— the thighs of a Hunter— levered her up and down on his cock, squeezing him until he thought he might die from it. He thought she was never going to stop impaling herself again and again, and by the time she did eventually tire, Eren was sort of hoping she never would. He was in ecstasy with her, and like the selfish bastard he was, he wanted it to last forever.
"Such fire," he said, reaching up to press kisses into the skin just between her breasts. "You've made your point, now let me take over."
Let me take care of you.
"Yes, yes, yes," she chanted as he thrust up into her, the head of his cock buried so deeply within her that he marveled at how she didn't seem to be feeling any discomfort. "Oh fuck, right there, please don't stop—"
Eren didn't stop; he couldn't. He was beyond restraint.
"May I?" He asked, tapping the wrist that was trapped in his right hand. "I won't take much, but I want to show you something."
Delirious, drunk with lust, (Y/N) nodded, and Eren pierced her skin with a single fang, letting a drop of blood fall onto his tongue. In that moment, as they connected physically, her blood connected them spiritually, and Eren groaned as he physically felt how close she was through the link he had created.
It wouldn't be long now.
"Oh, fuck!" she cried, and Eren buried himself as deeply as he could within her as he came. "Oh, oh, oh—"
And then (Y/N) was following him, shaking and gasping as her orgasm overtook her. It seemed that the world had stopped existing for a moment, and Eren found it hard to breathe even though he had no particular need to do so at all.
In the afterglow, they clung to each other like the survivors of a shipwreck; when the world began to exist again, it felt new, and as Eren closed his eyes to sleep, he knew that this changed everything.
I must keep her, he thought as sleep overtook him. I don't know if I could feel like this ever again for anyone else.
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outrebanx · 4 years ago
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almost
JJ Maybank x female reader
Masterlist
Summary: a recollection of all the moments you and jj ‘almost’ shared
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: pretty angsty, mentions of weed at the beginning, highkey bad writing but we move on
A/N: I dont actually know if something similar to this has been done before (if so sorry im not copying you) but this is a little different to how i normally write so i hope you like it and as always feedback would be great 💗
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(look at the jawline deaR GOD)
Knowing JJ for most of your life had its ups and downs - on one hand he was always there to cheer you up with his jokes, because that’s what friends do, on the other hand you didn’t see him as a friend you saw him as much more and you could never say anything as you thought he didn’t feel the same way.
You didn’t know when your feelings for him changed, but you had a feeling they were always kind of there from the moment you met the scruffy blond boy who offered to help you when you fell off your bike on the way to school one day.
———
“What do you think your future will be like?” JJ asked, handing you the blunt you were sharing.
You were both lying down on the hammock outside the chateau, shoulders pressed together, if you both turned towards each other at the same time your faces would be practically touching.
You took a hit from the blunt, blowing out a cloud of smoke, “I’m not sure - I think I want to get off this island, go somewhere new where people don’t know me.”
“What about me?”
“What about you?” You asked, turning to look at his face, his eyebrows scrunched together whilst he looked at the night sky.
“Am I not gonna be in your life anymore if you move?”
“Of course you will bub, you’re coming with me.” You laughed, nudging his shoulder with yours.
It was his turn to look at you now, your eyes focused on the stars above you, a small smile on your lips, “I like that idea - we could go to Yucatan, live off what we catch and surf all day.”
“Sounds great, and I can speak Spanish pretty well so we’d be sorted.”
He chuckled, “That’s our plan now then - we escape this place together.”
Your breath hitched in your throat, did he know that was exactly what you wanted? To escape this place with him at your side, maybe even telling how you feel after all this time.
You turned to look at him, your faces almost touching, you looked between his eyes and his cracked lips, and just as you leant in to meet his lips with yours, John B called out, “We’ve got a movie set up, you guys coming?”
You quickly moved away from JJ, jumping out of the hammock and heading up to where John B was standing at the door - your heart beating and hands shaking at what nearly happened.
That was the night that you almost kissed JJ.
———
The boneyard was full of people tonight, it was one of the biggest keggers of the year - all the schools broken up for summer and the heaviest part of tourist season. JJ had always loved kegs -  the alcohol, the weed, the girls he didn’t have to commit to because they were only visiting tourons. It was everything he ever wanted, and yet tonight he didn’t want any of it.
He had seen you chatting to a touron boy earlier, a blush spread across your cheeks as you laughed at one of his jokes. At this sight, JJ’s heart sunk - he liked being the one to  make you laugh with his jokes, but that seemed to be happening less and less recently, as you spent less time with him. Was it something he did?
He didn’t spend much time pondering over this though because he saw you break away from the touron and head over to the keg that John B was manning, and JJ followed, wanting a drink and to talk to you.
John B nodded at JJ in greeting when he arrived at the keg, you turned around and smiled up at him, “Hey J, no girl on your arm yet?”
He looked down at the sand beneath his feet, “Nope not tonight Y/N.”
You ducked into sight of his face, stumbling a little due to the alcohol you’d been drinking, “Why not?”
He cleared his throat, “I don’t like the look of any of them, that good enough for your interrogation?”
You laughed, “It’ll have to do, but one day you will reveal all your secrets to me.”
He grinned, “You already know all of them, except of course, what happened to fluffles.”
You gasped, playfully hitting his arm, “You said you didn’t know anything about my little bear!”
“It must’ve slipped my mind, oops.”
You downed the remainder of the alcohol in your cup and then grabbed his hand, leading him away from the keg, “Oh god, are you going to murder me now Y/N?”
“Nope that’s for another day, we’re going to dance.”
“I think that’s actually worse.” He joked, earning a small glare from you.
“Too bad - now dance pretty boy.”
JJ couldn’t help but smile as he danced with you, trying to keep up with your very drunk dance moves was almost impossible but he tried anyway, spinning you whenever you grabbed his hands and insisted.
You eventually tired and moved into his hold where he wrapped his hands around your waist, the smell of your sweet perfume moving into his nose as you rested your head on his chest.
The two of you stayed like that for a little while, swaying to the beat of the song, enjoying the embrace of the other.
“Hey J,” you looked up at him, “I will find out what happened to fluffles.”
He laughed, shaking his head at you, and when he looked down at your face, a mischievous smile on your lips, he instinctively leant forward.
Before he didn’t want to do anything he would regret, so he changed direction and instead whispered in your ear, “No you won’t.”
That was the night JJ almost kissed you.
———
Everything recently had gone to shit. It wasn’t all bad but that was the best way you could describe it. You still had feelings for JJ, but it was more apparent than ever you couldn’t act on them.
You had applied to a college in New York on a whim, not even thinking you could get a place, but you had been wrong. The letter in your hands, not only confirmed you got a place, but that you were being offered a scholarship as well - something that you really needed as your family couldn’t afford sending you to college.
When you told the group about the offer they were all beyond happy for you, each of them showing their own little ways of congratulations. Kiara and John B both promised to come and visit you, Pope already planning how you could meet up whilst you were both away, but JJ just hugged you tightly, telling you he was proud of you before going back to fiddling with his lighter.
After that day, you saw JJ less and less - you were often busy packing for the ever approaching day where you would leave, but when you did spend time with your friends he wasn’t always there. Sometimes he was with a girl he’d met the night before, sometimes doing work or sometimes just not giving an excuse and just disappearing - what was obvious was he was distancing himself from you.
It broke your heart that you couldn’t spend your last month or two with him before you left, ignoring the romantic feelings you had for him he was your closest friend and so you would really miss him no matter what.
It was the day before you were going to leave and you were spending the day with the pogues, including JJ for once, at the chateau, sitting around the fire and drinking together, the last time you would do this for a while. It was bittersweet, you loved your friends more than anything but you wanted to experience new things in life - and college offered this.
“I’ll miss you all so much,” you said, looking at the faces in front of you.
“We will too,” John B replied, hugging you as the others all agreed and joined in the hug.
“Okay, you can hug me more later but right now I can’t breathe and I want some water.”
They all removed themselves from the hug, turning into their own conversations as you made your way towards the chateau.
You didn’t want to cry in front of any of them, but you allowed a few tears to fall down your cheek as you stood at the kitchen sink, back to the door, not even noticing JJ standing there, looking at you with concern.
“Are you okay?” He asked, you jumped, wiping your face before you turned to him with a smile.
“Of course I am, just a little sad that I’m leaving.”
“I’m sorry.”
You stepped towards him, “What for?”
“I’ve been avoiding you since you said you were leaving and I shouldn’t have as we won’t see each other much anymore and-“
“JJ it’s fine don’t worry,” you reached out your hand for his, “and I’m sorry too, I know I said we could move away together, but plans changed and I really wish you were coming with me.”
“Hey,” JJ moved his thumb over your cheek, wiping the tear that had began falling away, “there’s always the chance to leave together after you’re done with college, I know I’ll be waiting.”
You looked up at him, the words you wanted to say at the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them, so instead you said, “I’ll really miss you J.”
He sighed before pulling you into a hug, “I’ll really miss you too Y/N.”
Neither of you moved for minutes, staying in each others warmth, both of you unable to say the correct words to each other.
That was the day you almost told JJ you loved him.
That was the day JJ almost told you he loved you.
280 notes · View notes
softrenjunnie · 4 years ago
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“we can’t do this” kisses
pairing: slytherin!chenle x gryffindor!reader
genre: fluff, slight angst?? idk tbh, harry potter!au
warnings: none, maybe a swearword somewhere
wordcount: 1.6k
message: thank you for all of the love on my “collection” posts, aswell as everything else i’ve posted. i really really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. i honestly dont know about this one, i had a good thought but then... idk what the end is. anywayssss i hope you enjoy? feedback is always gladly accepted but pls be easy on me about this one lmao :// also you dont even wanna know how many times i typen cnehle instead of chenle, ive seen that video too many times.... second also; sorry for being so slow w my updates, ive been having less time and inspiration to write recently... :( third also: not spellchecked aaaah gonna try to do that tomorrow but im too tired rn :/
21 kisses masterlist l Full masterlist
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Many months had passed since you last spoke to Chenle. Heck, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were seated next to him in muggle studies (because the seats were fixed and you had decided on the first day of classes that you wanted to sit together), you wouldn’t even have been near him. 
You’re a Gryffindor, Chenle is a Slytherin. Your mother is an auror and your father works for the Minister for Magic, while both Chenle’s parents were known death eaters. Or, well, they weren’t known when you started dating him, and if they had been back then you wouldn’t have gotten yourself involved with him.
Your parents had met Chenle several times, and they were always supportive of your relationship. But you wished you could say that they had been equally as supportive after it was discovered that his parents were death eaters. Your mother had sent you a letter the day they found out, and when you didn’t respond, your father traveled all the way to Hogwarts to talk to you in person and ban you from ever speaking to Chenle again, by threatening to take you out of hogwarts if you didn’t follow his orders. They had even made sure your friends and most of your teachers knew you weren’t supposed to meet him, so they would drag you away from him if you even as much as tried to talk to him.
But that didn’t mean that you weren’t looking at him. Or talking about him. Or thinking about him. That didn’t mean that you didn’t know exactly where he was at 99% of the time or that you didn’t know what was happening in his life. And it most certainly didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Because you did. You couldn’t just shut off your feelings, no matter what your parents wanted.
Many parents had sent in threatening letters to the headmaster, telling him to expel Chenle because his behavior could inspire other students to learn about dark magic. But the headmaster always responded by saying that there would be no punishment for anyone based on what their parents had done, because children don’t necessarily take after their parents. And you were so thankful for that - because he was completely right. Chenle was not at all like that. He had been distancing himself from his parents as much as he could since the moment he found out about them over seven years ago; he’d even left them to live with his grandmother instead. You just wished your parents understood that. 
You often found yourself looking down the hallway in the dungeon when you had finished potions class, hoping to see Chenle strutting to or from his common room with his friends. Or thinking of him when his favorite dish was sitting right in front of you at dinner, making you throw a glance over at his usual spot by the slytherin table to make sure he was digging into it as usual. 
Except, one day, he wasn’t at dinner. You didn’t stop looking when you couln’t see him in his usual seat; you searched the entire slytherin table from your place across the room with your eyes, in case he’d decided to get a new seat; and then you searched the rest of the great hall in case he was talking to a teacher or someone from another house. But there was no Chenle. You thought it was very strange, as he never missed a meal - so you excused yourself from your seat and instead walked over to the slytherin table. By the end of it sat the people who you recognized as Chenle’s best friends, Renjun and Jisung, two full blood slytherins whose parents were speculated to be working with Chenle’s. They didn’t look too happy to see you.
“What are you doing here?” Jisung sneered at you once you came close enough to hear.
“I’m just wondering if you know where Chenle is,” you said, voice much calmer than the one that spoke before you.
“Why do you care,” Renjun spat right after swallowing down a piece of chicken. “You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”
“Oh, and you are mad about that?” Even though you had tried to remain calm, you could feel the anger boiling inside of you.
“Yes, Chenle is-“
He had barely just started talking when you cut him off. “You think you’re mad? There are people who are suffering way more from this than you, you idiot. Try to get that thought through your small brain. Maybe the person who’s been ignored, or maybe the person who’s going to be kicked out of hogwarts if she is seen speaking to Chenle.” You hadn’t been able to hold back - but it felt good. When you were done with your mini-rant, you straightened your posture again and looked at the boys with calmer eyes. They seemed surprised, and possibly a bit scared, and Jisung had dropped his fork from his mouth to his plate with a loud thud when you started. “So, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where Chenle is at.”
Even though they were frightened of what Chenle had threatened them with doing if they spoke about his whereabouts, they told you about how Chenle had said that he wasn’t feeling like having lunch and was probably sitting in the library to study for his exam the next day. Forgetting all about your friends back at your table (and the risk of them seeing you by the slytherin table and connecting the dots), you hurried out of the great hall and made your way down the hallway towards the library.
Your mind was blank, you didn’t know at all what to say to Chenle if you even found him. Yet there was something telling you to go; something inside of you forcing you find him. He had his favorite spot in the library, by one of the windows deep inside, so when you finally made it into the library, you knew exactly where to look. And sure enough, staring into his history of magic book, he sat by the same table as he always did. He hadn’t heard you as your last few steps had been soft, so you faked a quiet cough to get his attention. 
“What are you doing here?”
You sighed at the tone in his voice - you had been a bit surprised before you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t have expected anything. Instead of answering his question, you asked him one. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”
He put his book down and stood up, frowning at you. “Did you seriously come here just to ask me why I didn’t have dinner?”
You shrugged and looked down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah,” you mumbled.
“Okay, so,” he started, pacing slowly towards you. “you don’t speak to me for weeks, maybe even months, and then you come all the way to the library to ask why I didn’t have dinner?” You looked up from the ground to see him staring right into your eyes. “Not really that believeable.”
You didn’t know what to say. The day you had been banned from speaking to him, you had walked straight up to him to tell him that you wanted to break up with him. That’s it. No explanation, not giving him any chance to talk to you. And you hated it, but you weren’t sure how to make it better.
“Shit, Chenle, I’m sorry. I really am,” you sighed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes at any moment now from seeing how angry he was. He had never before looked at you with such flames in his eyes as he was right now. “I... I don’t know what to do to make you understand-“
He cut you off, his tone piercingly sharp. “Just tell me. Tell me the truth.” You blinked a couple of times, hoping that it would help push the water in your eyes back. “Is it because of my parents that you act like I suddenly don’t exist?”
“Yes but-“
And again, he didn’t let you speak. “I though you knew me. I thought you saw me for who I am, not for who my parents are.”
You couldn’t hold back. You stepped towards him, cupping his face in your hands and scanned his eyes for any sign of doubt (except for his continuedly frowned eyebrows). It was like a magnetic force pulled you to him, that pulled your mouth to his. You could instantly feel how much you’d missed this feeling, even though it was barely just a brush. 
Chenle pulled away almost the exact moment you’d launched forward, and though his expression was hard to read, it told you that he wasn’t angry at you. He let out a shaky breath, as he dropped his head to let his forehead rest on your shoulder. “We can’t do this...” he mumbled, his arms snaking around your lower back to hold you close. 
You held him around his shoulders, leaning your head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Chenle. I’m going to find a way to fix this,” you mumbled. “My parents... they made sure I didn’t talk to you. I’ll do something to make this right.” 
“But before that, can you just hold me?” 
You might have ignored him for such a long time, but that didn’t mean that you had stopped loving him. Nor that you weren’t ready to fight for your relationship. 
101 notes · View notes
megalony · 5 years ago
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Free to go
This is another murderer! Ben imagine that I hope you will all enjoy and feedback is always lovely.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem​ @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid​ @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg
Murderer! Ben masterlist
Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have just had a baby when Ben gets arrested in their home but he reassures (Y/n) that he’ll be home soon. He knows Gwilym doesn’t have enough evidence to convict him.
Enjoy.
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"You like that one?"
Following the sound of the rather mellow yet still gruff tone of voice, (Y/n) padded down the hall until she was leaning against the doorway to Owen's room. Her eyes found the source of the voice that she never normally heard in a soft and calming tone until recently. That voice was always abrasive, hard, cold and scratchy, it was never soft and mellow and calm like the sea gentle lapping at the sand.
It didn't take much guessing to see why his voice had that softer, smoother edge to it. He could hardly speak in his usual uncaring tone of voice to the newborn in his arms, that wouldn't be the best start if he let his son see him as cold and uncaring from day one.
A smile flowed onto (Y/n)'s otherwise tired features as she stayed in the doorway, watching the scene unfold in front of her. Ben was leaning his hips against the crib behind him wearing trousers and socks but no shirt. He had Owen resting on his right arm making the baby look so much smaller and fragile and when he tensed his arm Owen almost disappeared from sight.
The baby boy had his eyes half open and his tiny hand pressed on Ben's chest like he was patting his new tattoo.
Ben now had one tattoo on his chest compared to the rest of his body, he had one on the back of his neck, one on each knuckle on both hands, one on his upper right arm near his shoulder, one on his left upper thigh and a rather large, extensive tattoo spreading from between his shoulder blades right down near his hips. He for some reason didn't have any tattoos on his chest until now and it had confused (Y/n) why he would keep his chest clear when he went so far as to have the rest of his body lathered in ink.
Sometimes she did wonder if his chest was clear of ink because he had been cut and stabbed there a few times. He had a scar on his lower stomach on the right side from being stabbed a few years back and he had small slash marks from fights he'd had in the past. It made (Y/n) wonder if he didn't have tattoos there in case someone stabbed or cut or even shot him and ended up damaging any tattoos he may have.
Ben had Owen's date of birth on the upper left side of his chest along with his footprints taken when he was born.
Despite the tattoo being new and the skin all around it being as red as a tomato, Ben didn't flinch or look phased when Owen touched it or even when (Y/n) had touched it before. (Y/n) had been with Ben when he got that tattoo and it amazed her how he didn't flinch, pull away, grit his teeth or even tense. He didn't swear either, he looked like he could feel no pain at all and it made (Y/n) curious as to how Ben would have reacted when he got the tattoo on his back.
"Is he okay?" (Y/n) watched Ben glance up at her with a smile before he turned around to lay Owen back down since he was practically asleep in his arms now.
"He's fine." The words barely passed through Ben's lips before he found (Y/n) suddenly standing in front of him, her arms wrapping around his torso so she could burrow into his chest. She knew well enough now to know that she could lean on or brush against any new tattoo Ben got and he wouldn't flinch or make a comment about it.
"I think that one's my favourite." (Y/n) mumbled quietly, moving her head so she could kiss the latest edition to Ben's growing ink collection. Her eyes briefly looked over at the newborn beside them before she looked back up at Ben who looked very amused.
"Where shall I get your name?" Ben leaned back in order to look over tilt his chin down, his eyes scanning over himself as a shark-tooth grin flooded his face.
Ben had pleaded with (Y/n) for the past six months to let him get her name tattooed somewhere but (Y/n) was very against the idea. It was sweet and she knew it would make Ben happy, he wanted her name because now they had a baby together but she couldn't let him do that. If they broke up Ben wouldn't be very pleased to have her name inked on his skin as a permanent reminder of her. Ben insisted they wouldn't break up and that even if they did, he wouldn't mind still having her name on his skin because she was the mother of his child. She wouldn't exactly be out of his life if they did break up.
"No."
"Baby please, you know you'd secretly love it-"
"Not if we break up I wouldn't and neither would you." (Y/n) pressed her chin into Ben's chest so she could look up at him. He looked a mix between devilish and disgruntled at the response he didn't want.
"What if I did it anyways? I think your name would look good on my wrist." Ben removed one arm from (Y/n)'s waist to show her his wrist. He wasn't giving up, he was having her name tattooed somewhere eventually, he just had to wear her down first to get her approval. He knew it wouldn't be in his best interest if he did it anyway when she told him not to.
"Maybe in a year or two." (Y/n) could already guess that she would wear down and give in just to stop him from pestering her eventually.
"That's my girl, come on, let's leave him to sleep."
(Y/n) didn't quarrel, she followed Ben out of the room and downstairs until they were heading into the living room. She slowly sat down on the sofa before turning to lay out instead, leaning her head on the pillow resting against the arm of the sofa as she felt like she was sinking into the cushions until she was engulfed and disappeared. Towards the end of the pregnancy with Owen, (Y/n) had made a den of sorts on the sofa where she had spent most of her time and she kept the pillows and cushions here since her back was still sore, as was her stomach.
(Y/n) opened her eyes when she felt Ben lifting her legs so he could sit down with her, resting her legs over his lap and she could see he had shrugged one a shirt. Small shivers ran up and down her legs when Ben's hands absentmindedly ran up and down her exposed legs and up to her thighs.
They had only been home from the hospital with Owen for roughly a week now and since they weren't going out anywhere or having visitors round, (Y/n) didn't see any reason to dress up or dress properly. For the past few days she had either been wearing her pyjamas or like she was now, wearing one of Ben's oversized shirts and some shorts.
Owen was a surprise, he wasn't planned for either of them and it had worried (Y/n) in the beginning that Owen wouldn't be part of Ben's plan. He truly didn't seem like the type of person who would want kids, he worked a lot, he got into fights and he blackmailed, killed and terrorised people. Children didn't seem like they would fit into that plan of life but to (Y/n)'s utter surprise, Ben had been happy about this.
Despite the work he did and his cold exterior and heart and the seven years difference between him and (Y/n), he was happy and fine with this. They moved in together a few months into the pregnancy and (Y/n) slowly got to know how Ben worked and his different way of life.
(Y/n) didn't know how long she'd been asleep for or when she fell asleep but when she tiredly opened her eyes and looked around, the tv was on but Ben was no longer sitting next to her. A small sense of panic started to dwell in her chest until she realised she could hear him clattering about in the kitchen, most likely getting a cup from the cupboard to make a drink.
Waking up and finding Ben wasn't there was always a panic signal to (Y/n), it made her wonder if he had slipped out quickly for an emergency at work or if he wasn't there at night she had the sudden fear that someone had broken in and he was trying to sort it out. (Y/n) wasn't sure why, but waking up or coming home to find Ben wasn't there scared her. He was her safety net, she felt safe and secure when he was there and she couldn't even try to go to sleep unless he was there too.
Rubbing at her tired eyes, (Y/n) tried to wake herself up a bit more as she moved into a sitting position. She needed to get herself a drink and then see what time it was in case it was time to give Owen a bottle, unless she had been asleep for a while and Ben had already fed him by now.
Listening to the tv worked wonders in bringing (Y/n) back around and shaking off the sleep from her system. Once she felt properly awake and had regained all her thoughts and senses, (Y/n) pushed herself up to her feet just as the she heard someone knocking rather hurriedly at the front door.
"I got it." She called out to Ben, trying to keep the tiredness from her voice as she slowly headed out into the hall.
(Y/n) ran her fingers through her hair, catching her nails on a few of the knots and tangles as she tried to make her hair seem less of a bird's nest on her head. Her brows furrowed the closer she got to the dark oak brown door when she realised just how harshly someone was banging on the door to be let in.
The first month of living with Ben sent (Y/n) into numerous panic attacks when he had his workers turning up out of the blue and during the night, it was hard to get used to so many people coming round but at least Ben gave her some kind of warning beforehand now.
Reaching the door, (Y/n) twisted the key that was already situated in the lock but before she even pulled the handle down all the way, the door was suddenly pushed with so much force that the sharp edge of the door rammed into (Y/n)'s chest and stomach and just grazed the bottom of her chin from how close she had been standing to the door.
(Y/n) choked on a shriek as her knees caved in the moment she pushed her weight onto the door so it closed in whoever's face was on the other side. Her knees pushed against the wood, as did her forehead that was pulsing and had she been in a cartoon, stars would have been swirling over her head. A ragged breath pushed through (Y/n)'s nose as she tried to blink away the dizziness and breathe through the pain swelling in her chest and stomach that was already tender as it was.
When the words 'Open up' and 'police' hit her ears, (Y/n) had the urge to lock the door and keep them out but with the force they used to try and get in, she knew they weren't likely to simply go away.
Forcing herself to stand up properly on shaking legs, (Y/n) coiled forward just a little to relieve the pain in her chest and stomach.
"Baby, what the fuck?" Ben's eyes were wild with confusion and worry when he left the kitchen, freezing for a moment when he noticed the way (Y/n) was almost collapsing in front of the door and the scream she just let out that almost made him burn his hand from shock.
Ben didn't receive a response as (Y/n) moved just enough to let the police barge the door open all the way, sending her stumbling backwards. Her free hand quickly reached out for the shoe rack next to her to steady herself as her other hand pressed to her stomach that was burning like she'd been stabbed. Not wanting to be trampled down, (Y/n) pushed her uncoordinated feet to trip over one another to move forwards past the stairs and into the hall.
(Y/n) was grateful when Ben reached out and held onto her to stop her from falling flat on her face. His hands slipped easily around her waist and pulled her over to him until she was leaning into his chest and she could feel his lips pressing into her hair.
But as soon as Ben's arms were around her, (Y/n) could feel hands roughly pulling and grabbing at her arms and waist, trying to tear her away from him. (Y/n) kept her eyes tightly closed and her nails scraped against Ben's arm that she was clinging to but it did no good as she was still torn away from him and when her back collided with the wall she slumped down to her knees, blacking out if only for two seconds.
She could feel her stomach churning like she was going to be sick, all of the blood was now rushing to her head that felt like it was being squeezed until it was about to burst like a grape. She could hear Ben's dark, violent tone warning whoever just pushed her into the wall not to do it again and (Y/n) knew Ben would have launched himself at the policeman if there were no other officers here. He couldn't take down all four officers at once and someone would radio for backup if he tried. Ben could assault, bully, threaten, blackmail and kill anyone he liked but when it came to the police it was tricky.
They were here to arrest him and he couldn't harm them when he was being arrested or they had reason to caution and charge him. He couldn't give them evidence to use against him, they struggled as it was to find anything to pin on Ben and that was how he needed it to stay.
When (Y/n) tried to stand up, a pair of large, rough hands grabbed her upper arms and hauled her to her feet. When the man's hand caught on the oversized shirt she was wearing and made it ride up at the side, (Y/n) was thankful she decided to wear pyjama bottoms with Ben's shirt rather than just her underwear.
Her eyes managed to focus enough for her to see Ben ramming his elbow into an officer's stomach, giving himself the chance to pull away from the banister he had been pushed up against so that they could try and arrest him. He wasn't going to make a break for it or resist arrest but he wasn't being pushed into the banister for that. They were barging in here because they knew he was dangerous and a killer but they should know from previous experience that Ben always let them arrest him, he came willingly with them. They had no need to be violent with him or (Y/n).
"Go check upstairs, make sure it's clear." The officer standing next to the door ordered to a man who was hanging around the stairs like he was observing the scene, not knowing where to chip in.
(Y/n)'s frantic eyes locked with Ben's for a split second before he nodded and tipped his head in the direction of the stairs. He held his arm out in front of the officer standing next to her, preventing him from grabbing at (Y/n) when she stumbled over to the stairs and swung round, losing her energy as panic took over when she tried to hurry and clamber up the stairs.
"Get off me!" (Y/n)'s voice wasn't as firm or demanding as she willed it to be but there was a firm, growling tone to her voice when the officer grabbed at her legs to try and stop her since she was practically crawling up on her hands and knees.
"Get the fuck off her, she's going to get the baby." Ben managed to squeeze his arm through the gaps between the poles of the banister and he roughly grabbed the young man's wrist, yanking his arm away from (Y/n) so she could carry on up the stairs.
Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she got to the top of the stairs and she didn't have the will to push them away.
(Y/n) had never had the police turn up to her home before, then again she'd never lived with Ben until a few months ago. The thought of police turning up at their home was unrealistic in (Y/n)'s mind considering how Ben was always telling her he was going to keep his work separate from home life, especially now that they had Owen. All his dealings happened at the club and she knew he'd been arrested there once before, it was a natural assumption that any arrests or dealings with the police would happen at the club, not at home.
A big part of (Y/n) didn't want to venture back downstairs to the chaos, she just wanted to sit in Owen's room and cradle her baby boy to her chest, trying to imagine all of this as some fiction of her imagination or a nightmare. But she knew she had to go down, she had to see Ben and find out what he wanted her to do.
Holding Owen against her chest and stomach made (Y/n) whimper in pain but she couldn't hold him loosely, she needed him pressed against her to reassure herself he was okay and to make sure none of the officer's downstairs would try and take him off her. She cuddled the frightened newborn against her chest with his head leaning on her shoulder and his blanket wrapped neatly around his very small, fragile frame.
Her legs were trembling when she shakily walked back down the stairs, pulling away from the officer waiting at the bottom who tried to reach out for her. (Y/n) leaned against the banister, her frightened eyes watching as Ben held his hands out in front of him with a face like thunder as he silently allowed them to arrest him. He knew there was no gain in trying to resist.
Ben yanked his arm out of the officer's hold, he didn't need to be held like a toddler to walk and he was hardly going to run away with his hands cuffed in front of him. It would be a big giveaway that he was resisting arrest if he went out into the street like this and he wouldn't get very far.
When he reached (Y/n), Ben very slowly lifted his cuffed hands up until he could loop them over (Y/n)'s head, tangling his hands into the back of her hair with his arms resting on her shoulders. He stood as close as he could get to her without squashing Owen between them who was shrieking and wailing like it was the end of the world but then again, he didn't know or understand what was going on. Ben pressed his lips to the side of (Y/n)'s head for a moment, feeling her hiccuping through silent cries and she was shaking against him. He darted his eyes around before he lowered his head and turned until his lips were pressed to her ear, he didn't want anyone hearing what he was about to tell her.
"Call Joe tell him what's happened, he'll get my lawyer to brief you on the phone and the guys will hang around, make sure no one's watching or coming here. They can't arrest or talk to you at all so don't let any other police in. Call your sister, don't stay here alone. I love you, I won't be long." Ben pressed a deep kiss to her lips before he moved his arms and took a step back, waiting for (Y/n) to nod that she understood before he made any move to walk out of the house.
He needed his lawyer to talk to (Y/n) so if the police tried to ask her anything, she knew the best answers to give that would keep her totally out of this and he needed the boys to know what was happening so they could stay close to the house and make sure nothing happened to (Y/n) or Owen.
And Ben didn't want (Y/n) staying here on her own if he was held overnight because he could be gone for up to twenty four hours in custody and she wasn't well. He couldn't have her on her own, hurt and shaken up and needing to care for Owen. Ben also knew how (Y/n) was when it came to sleeping, his way of life heightened her anxiety and if he was out late and came home past midnight, she would be waiting up for him.
(Y/n)'s sister despised Ben and would try to get (Y/n) to leave but Ben would rather have Clare try and do that than have (Y/n) left on her own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Am I free to go yet?" There was something so snide and bitter about Ben's tone that caused Gwilym to look at him in surprise when he walked into the interview room. He was expecting to look over and see voids in Ben's pupils that were alight with a fire of anger, he thought he would be met with snarling lips and bared teeth and clenched hands slamming down on the desk.
But all he could see was someone who looked like they were playing cards and had a royal flush hidden in their deck. Ben had one brow raised, his head bent to the side at an odd angle and a smile that was so unnerving, Gwilym had to stop himself from shivering.
This was the fourth time he had been able to both arrest and bring Ben into custody for questioning and he was determined not to let him slip through his grasp this time. Everyone knew all the crimes Ben committed and Ben knew they knew, but they never had the evidence or witnesses to gain enough grounds to arrest him for good. They could only bring him in for questioning and watch as he wriggled free and walked away. Sometimes he went straight out and committed another crime they couldn't pin on him, sometimes he laid low for a while and other times he disappeared off the radar and moved away.
Gwilym couldn't let him go again.
"Afraid not, Mr Hardy. We need to ask you some questions about a murder, but you already know that."
"The officer did mention something like that. I've been here for five hours, if you could ask me quickly so I can go home that would be nice." The way Ben smiled looked so genuine yet so fake that it was almost confusing, he looked like he was being genuine yet he wanted Gwilym to see he was being fake to rattle him.
Ben leaned back in his seat and straightened his spine, letting it click back into place before he sat up straight and rested his arms on the table, linking his hands together.
"Do you know this man?" Gwilym pulled out a brown paper file and took out three different pictures, placing them neatly on the table in front of his suspect who they both knew was guilty beyond belief. One picture was a mugshot of the victim, and the other two pictures were taken from the crime scene where he had been beaten to a pulp before being shot.
It unnerved and angered Gwilym how Ben pulled the pictures closer to take a proper look like he was wracking his brain as if he were a witness helping them with their crime instead of the murderer trying to get away with it. He even glanced over to his lawyer sat beside him before he looked back over at Gwilym.
"Yes, he's called Robert, he was a member of my gym." Ben could see his answer startled Gwilym. This was the first time he had ever admitted he knew someone they brought him in to question about. He had no reason to say he knew them because he already knew there was no evidence to tie him to his own crime but he thought he would toy with them for a bit.
"Was?"
"I don't think he'll be coming back, do you?" Ben pointed at the middle photo that showed the bullet hole in his forehead.
"He was seen going into your gym on the day he died. No one saw him leave and at some point in the evening he was murdered and his body was dumped not too far from your place of work."
"When was that?" Ben folded his arms over his chest, looking rather bored now like he was done playing a game and wanted to move onto something else now. Gwilym was trying to catch him out, make him give himself an alibi without them giving him enough information but Ben wasn't stupid enough to fall into their little traps.
"Two weeks ago, Tuesday nineteenth. We have a witness come forward who says they saw you leaving the scene where we found him."
"Did they identify me by you giving them a picture, did they describe me or did they give you my name?" Ben hardly looked phased about a witness placing him at a murder scene and it was really getting under Gwilym's skin now.
Ben knew that there were officers who would stoop so low as to find someone and show them a picture of Ben and prompt them to say they saw him there. But if someone just described him it wasn't definite proof he was there and if they gave his name it was more unreliable because a lot of people knew him and wanted him in prison.
"The witness described you, then identified a picture of you."
Gwilym pulled another piece of paper from his file and placed it in front of Ben, allowing him to see the description that was given by their so called witness. They gave a description of Ben's hair, a vague description of his face, approximate height and clothes.
"They saw a man walking the street at ten o'clock at night in a black coat and trousers. They didn't stop and talk to whoever they saw and they were on the other side of the road. Your witness hasn't described my client's various tattoos that could have been seen and they didn't get close enough to see his face. This isn't definite proof my client was there."
Ben's lawyer handed the paper back to Ben, sounding like he was ending the discussion there and Ben couldn't help the grin that took over his face. It could have been anyone, the fact that it actually was him made no difference because Gwilym couldn't definitely prove it in a court of law. They would see the time, know how dark it would have been and the distance the witness was from Ben and know they were only guessing.
"We found shoe prints at the scene and cigarette stubs at the scene."
When more pieces of paper were placed in front of Ben, he spared them a glance, focusing more on the sticky notes attached to them giving information about the shoe size, the type of shoe and the type of cigarettes they found.
"Sadly, I can't fit into a size ten converse, I take eleven and a half size and converse aren't my thing. Plus, I only smoke menthol cigarettes."
Ben had to admit Gwilym had managed to find some actual evidence at this crime scene, but sadly for him, none of it linked Ben to the scene. He was careful that if he was the one who did the killing, nothing was left behind that linked him there. No one saw him do it, no fingerprints, DNA, pieces of clothing or traces were left behind. He wouldn't be so stupid to leave his actual cigarettes at the scene, they must have been from Adam who was along with Ben when they killed Robert.
"Do you have any tangible evidence that links my client to the scene?"
"Does your client have an alibi for that day?" Gwilym countered, trying not to show that this was his last resort. If Ben didn't have a watertight alibi Gwilym would tear it apart and keep him here for as long as he could. He was going to do everything he could to pin this one to him.
"I was home with my girlfriend."
"All day?"
"She was nine months pregnant, do you really think I'd leave her alone during the evening to go kill someone when she could go into labour at any moment?" It was a good enough excuse and alibi, (Y/n) had been very close to her due date and Ben hadn't been in the club for over two weeks so he could be home with her. Things got out of hand at the club so he left for one hour to sort Robert out, but Gwilym wasn't to know that.
"So if we talk to her, she'll confirm you never left the house that day? And the day before and the day after, what about then?"
"The day before we didn't leave the house, Tuesday we didn't go anywhere because she felt ill and if you ask our midwife, she'll confirm I called her at two in the morning on Wednesday because (Y/n)'s water broke. We were in hospital for the next five days."
Ben had one of the best alibi's going for this murder, he had (Y/n).
He left the house on Tuesday at five in the afternoon to sort Robert out, let his men move and dispose of the body later and after that Owen was born. There was no way Gwilym could pin this one on Ben, he had no evidence leading to Ben and he had a watertight alibi and no proper witnesses to place him at the scene. Their only witness didn't even see Ben because he didn't move Robert's body from the club. He was in the clear.
"Right... bear with me whilst I go and get that confirmed by your girlfriend." Gwilym pushed his chair back but he didn't have time to stand up before Ben's lawyer was speaking.
"I've already got the midwife's contact details and I think talking to miss (Y/l/n) should be done by a different officer once I've had chance to speak to her."
"Why do you think that?"
"From what my client tells me, when you forced entry into his home miss (Y/l/n) was injured and detained without cause. I need to talk with her and see if she's pressing charges before any officer questions her in a case she isn't involved with."
There was no way that Ben was letting Gwilym or his officers get away with how they had barged into his home and hurt (Y/n), even if they didn't intend to. They ought to realise by now that Ben let them arrest him, he let them put him in custody because he always knew he would get out, just like he was today. They had no reason to barge in like that and then to try and detain (Y/n) when she did nothing wrong. Ben wasn't letting that drop, he was making sure Gwilym thought twice before he even dared to come to Ben's home again, let alone try and arrest him in that manner.
When Gwilym looked over at Ben sitting across from him, the shit-eating grin on Ben's face said it all.
He was walking away free this time too.
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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years ago
Note
Hm... consider: Neurodivergent Maia. (Maiaphael neurodivergent solidarity. Also Magnus & Maia neurodivergent solidarity. I love this)
ok im sorry it took me this long to answer this, but, autistic maia? autistic maia!
makes sense too, like, ambiance is something that matters to her (“no one will want to join the pack if there are blotches on the wall” - clearly things regarding visual stimuli matter to her/bother her a lot, and at this point everyone already knows better than to argue with her), very one-tracked mind once she sets a goal (she basically won’t rest until she gets what she wants and she will do everything herself if needed be. like painting taki’s and the jade wolf entirely on her own, or the way she chased jace to the deepest realms of hell when she set her mind on killing him. same with clary, same with the way she was always after luke trying to convince him to take the right decision, same with the way she basically ran hunter’s moon entirely on her own lol), unwavering loyalty and very dead-set routine that she’s not letting go (for how many years has she been doing exactly the same job? and she clearly likes it. also worth noting that for a bar hunter’s moon really doesn’t have a lot of visual stimuli - no super loud noises, no extreme lightning... but anyway - even when she changes hunter’s moon to taki’s it’s still the same idea. when she decides to reform jade wolf, she is basically keeping everything the same way... she likes routine and doing the same things that she’s used to doing), oh god maybe the way she seems to particularly struggle with controlling her wolf/transformation is related to that, too... i mean of course there’s the part about her trauma which i have already talked about, but it also makes sense for maia to be autistic and thus struggle to keep perfect control of her body at all times, especially under stress, and that makes it harder for her to hold back or transform on purpose. also the fact that she snaps and twists so much! like, paired up with her trauma, it means that whenever she transforms into a wolf, she goes into great emotional distress, even if she wants it, and so it’s like.. that thing when your body seems to go out of your control and it snaps and twists and you’re like fighting it? you know what i mean? to be fair i’ve seen this more in my schzophrenic students but it’s a shared possible trait 
this paragraph is too long already but there’s more! maybe she initially chose bartending as a job because of the repetitive and easy motions. she is always playing with her shaker when she isn’t working so that makes sense. shit no more shaking??? no problem throw the shaker in the air wehoo again and again. most socially acceptable way of stimming she has i suppose, great to let go of pent up energy (and like boy does she need that with all the shit going down all the time). i’m gonna go back to loyalty for just a second and bring up “it took me so long to let go of you!” like even as jordan had abused her and hurt her a part of her was still obviously attached to him and that is a very autistic trait, you know? being helplessly attached to the same people even as they hurt you and you don’t understand why. and she struggled so hard to get rid of him and aaaa i’m pain
also, marine biology being her special interest.... my god i was such an idiot and a fool of course maia is autistic how could i have been so blind to the truth
also i’m pretty sure we’ve seen her go nonverbal a few times as therewere a few scenes where every word she was saying was clearly tiring her out and she was just exhausted afterwards, and... yeah
also thinking about how that pairs up with her claustrophobia like the way closed spaces make her feel hyperaware of everything and helpless to the stimuli so it amplifies her sensorial issues as well, so it’s the most horrible hypersensitivity + claustrophobia feedback loop. also thinking about how it is implied in many scenes that when she becomes overwhelmed she turns (like when luke locked her up and triggered her claustrophobia... haha man don’t we love it) so maybe like, before she was Turned, what used to happen were meltdowns? and now with the lycantrophy having meltdowns means being basically unable to control her wolf and so she ends up turning, and the distressed wolf also scratches and flaps around and howls and destroys everything.... i’m pain oh my god
also if visual stimuli are the most prone to giving her sensorial overload the wolf turning also makes sense since wolves see less color and so it’s one of the way her body now finds to try and tone down the overload
okay okay no more angst hopefully have a few cute maiaphael headcanons
can i just say... raphael’s voice. a bitch has an obsession okay the way he talks is just so... it sounds so velvety and smooth and his voice has that low tone and it’s just... entrancing and maia can listen to it for hours, which is funny because raphael isn’t usually much of a talker. but sometimes she will ask him things, especially regarding his special interests (like astronomy) or just stories, and lie on his lap, and he will pet her hair and tell her with that low, steady cadence that he speaks with, and it just feels perfect? like not only is it beautiful but it’s also steady/predictable and that makes it soothing and she is in absolute heaven when they do this
special interests sharing.... i love it okay. maia and raphael babbling about marine biology and astronomy respectively, and they both love hearing the other talk about it because they get it, they get how sharing your special interests is sharing love and baring your soul and even if they don’t share these interests they are genuinely delighted to soak up everything the other has to say about it. especially because their passion about the subject always makes it sound interesting!!!!
they get some see-through curtains for taki’s and her place to balance her need for less bright environments (hey ever noticed how she always makes it a point to make sure the places she’s frequently in have binded curtains and they’re always half-open when she’s there?) and raphael’s need for S U N  A N D  W A R M T H at all times. they are communication kings so they talk about it and try to find a solution that fits them both
it’s a great talk too because raphael also understands sensorial issues, and they are both highly empathetic, so like. she feels comfortable to tell him about how she needs a less bright environment without being defensive about it like she usually would (for good reason! because people are frequently assholes and she’s used to having to defend herself. but with raphael she knows she doesn’t have to, wouldn’t have to even if he weren’t autistic because he cares about her) 
also the fact that they are both autistic also tones up their communication kings shit up to one thousand, absolute icons. they both make it a point to always try to communicate what they need and be as clear as possible about it. neither has any interest in skirting around subjects or playing games (maia especially. raphael kinda had to learn how to do it because he worked for fucking camille for decades but that doesn’t mean he likes it. and even then that was never his approach, like, when he tried to kill clary he was all like “i am going to kill you now. i promise it will be painless. it’s just a practical decision”). although it also means that when they put their minds on the fact that something is Their Problem and they shouldn’t share it, it also takes a lot of work for the other to get them to talk... good thing they are both so stubborn lol
neither of them has to worry about making sure the other understands what the fuck they’re talking about, you know... because they know that the other isn’t looking for a thousand hidden meanings in their words, and also that, if they don’t get it, they will ask
basically, autistic maiaphael solidarity forever. god i love this. this is brilliant. thank you so much
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waejinyoung · 4 years ago
Text
Can’t Swim - EP . 7
word count: 4.3k+
a/n: hehe, hate me all you want but i’ve been having so much fun with this series. i hope the same goes for you guys. i haven’t heard much from you guys feedback-wise so i hope it’s because the content im putting out is fun to read. enjoy!
warnings: swearing, a lil saucy at the end, pretty much it
EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP . 7 , EP . 8
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Was this doctor joking? How could there be good news next to this sort of bad news?
Tuesday Morning 
“Doc, what good news do you have?”
“… for 2 months.” The doctor finished her sentence.
You let out all the air you had held since the doctor had announced that Jinyoung wouldn’t be able to sing. You held your heart and felt a little lightheaded and crashed back onto the bed. She did you dirty.
“Miss, are you okay?” The doctor dropped Jinyoung’s records to aside and rushed to you. 
Your heart rate skyrocketed before the doctor mentioned that he won’t be able to sing momentarily rather than permanently.
“I’m fine. Maybe finish your sentence quicker. I thought it was permanent that he won’t be able to sing until you mentioned 2 months.”
“I apologise Miss. Here’s a glass of water.” The doctor gave you a glass of water and you turned your attention back on to Jinyoung. He had also left a sigh of relief.
“D-doc. Until then what will happen?”
“Routine scans to check your recovery rate. Our recommendations now are to speak as less as possible, in a couple weeks time we’ll have you back on food and liquids.”
You smiled hearing that they’ll be a happy ending at the end of the dark corridor. You looked at Jinyoung with glee but remembered you had to change for work.
“I’ll celebrate in a second. I need to get changed!” You legged it to the bathroom to change and the doctor and Jinyoung let out a chuckle because of your obvious excitement towards the good news.
THIRD PERSON POV
“Your girlfriend is so supportive.” The doctor commented after Y/N had entered the bathroom.
“G-girlfriend?” Jinyoung sat upright in his bed.
“Oh, I apologise Mr Park. I just thought Miss was someone of that status. Sorry for assuming.”
“It’s fine, Doc. You’re c-close anyways. Soon-to-be girlfriend I-I hope.”
“Ahhh,” The doctor chuckled, “I hope she accepts.”
“Me t-too.”
Y/N’S POV
You looked at yourself in the mirror. Hair out from your twisted bun, lovely curls were achieved. You straightened your cropped cream blazer and fixed your lace top on the inside. You tightened you waist belt and then realised your heels were outside. Brushed your teeth with your belongings Mona brought in and then you were out.
“Me t-too.”
Jinyoung and the doctor looked at you as you were out.
“What?” They both looked at you without saying a word a bit too long.
“You l-look…”
Jinyoung started.
“… Like a mess. I know” You placed your feet in your black stilettos and looked back at the both of them and they were still staring.
“Now what?”
“Miss. You look really classy and elegant… if that’s your definition of a mess.”
“Good one, d-doc. You l-look great Y/N.”
“Hmph… Thank you for your compliments. I need to get to work as you can see I’m already running late. Doc, he’s all yours. Well, not all but you get what I mean. Jinyoung,“ You checked phone to see if Mark had replied to your morning message and he had, “Mark will be here in 10 minutes. I’ll be back in the afternoon. Anything you want that I can bring-“
“Pause. My b-brain doesn’t register that quick.”
“Mark will be here soon. I’ll be back in the afternoon. That’s all you need to know.” You said much slower.
“Great.”
“Ring me if anything happens. Same goes for you, doctor. Bye~” You rushed out the room smiling and went to the garage of the hospital. Like Mona had said, your car was parked near the exit and you were off to work.
JINYOUNG’S POV
“Great acting, doctor. She absolutely fell for it.”
“I must say Mr Park, your acting skills are much better than I expected. I almost believed your acting too.”
You both chuckled.You knew how much Y/N cared for you, so you took it to your advantage. The strangling and Max situation is all true. Although, those test results? Absolute bullshit. You were actually not that badly damaged. 2 months seemed like a reasonable time for you and Y/N to become close and then finally ask her out properly. You weren’t sure if you could last that long, but you were sure it wasn’t going to take any longer.
“I even thought I had really bad damage done to my throat.”
“Just some minor bruises Mr Park, I can assure you. Your eye will be fine in a one weeks time too. Ready to ask Miss out.”
“Thanks doc.”
“It’s my pleasure Mr Park. I’ll be off for my morning rounds. I’ll be back to check later.” With that the doctor left and you were left waiting for Mark.
Y/N’S POV
You were driving and decided to switch the radio on to catch up with the world. To your surprise, a story familiar to you was being voiced so you turned up the volume. The report was as follows...
“GOT7’s Jinyoung suffered from a vicious attack yesterday in Jinhae’s well-known leisure centre. The suspect allegedly strangled Park Jinyoung until he had passed out. Park Jinyoung has now been hospitalised. We are waiting for further notice from JYP Entertainment about Jinyoung’s current condition. The suspect is now being kept in custody as officers continue with their investigation. It’s been speculated that the attack was triggered by the news published yesterday about GOT7’s Jinyoung and his potential new girlfriend. We’ll be back with more news once we are informed.”
Max.. held in custody? The guy who helped you through such hard times has now ended up in the hands of authority for violence. It was only 2 weeks ago where he would have been the closest guy friend to you and now he’s one of the furthest. How pathetic.
You arrived at the company entrance only to see paparazzi yet again. You wasn’t going to adjust your lifestyle to them; You were going to hold your head high. They all realised the arrival of your car and started to surround it like moths to a light. You waited for your company’s security guards to come near your door and opened it for you whilst creating a safety bubble. It was about a 15 second walk up the stairs and then threw the doors. That’s it.
“Miss, whenever you’re ready.” One of the guards told you. You gave them all a nod and started to walk. The questions came streaming through.
“Was the female at the beach you?”
“What response do you have for all the dating rumours?”
“Is it true that you were handling both Mr Park and the suspect at the same time?”
Dating both at the same time? These people are outrageous. These allegations were much worse than you expected.
“We are halfway there Miss.”
“Are you with Mr Park for his money?”
Money?
“Some fans are blaming you for the situation, what are your thoughts?” (ahgases are not like this but this is for the soul purpose of the series x)
That was the end of the bombarding questions. You guys had made it to the building and the guards let you through to safety whilst they blocked off the paparazzi. You looked back and gave them a thumbs up whilst they put up with the paparazzi. You turned around to see Beck looking at your distress after the swarming of strangers.
“Good morning to you too Beck. Now can you stop with the staring?” You waved your hand in front of his face. He shook his self back to reality.
“Y/N. What is going on?” You realised his stern and agitated face. He was expecting an explanation as he should.
“Damn. Not even a morning greeting. Fine, I’ll explain in my room.”
You guys took the elevator to your office. Beck sat down and was waiting in urgency for your explanation.
“Where do you want me to start?” Which bit was he the most curious about?
“Why did you need to leave from the meeting?”
“Jinyoung, the actor from the news, he was strangled by Max at the leisure centre after the lesson had ended.”
Beck’s face dropped after hearing about what Max had done.
“I was hoping the radio was lying. I guess not.”
He was feeling a sense of disappoint in Max. Beck knew of Max, but you wouldn’t regard them as friends. Beck just assumed people you were friends with had some sort of value. Max was an anomaly, as he described it.
“I wish it wasn’t true too. I didn’t get to see him at the hospital. Apparently he only had some minor scratches and once sorted out he was taken by officers.” You gave a sigh, sick and tired of things not going well.
“Here’s some good news, to make you a little happier,” Your face lit up immediately as soon as you heard the words ‘good news’ come out of Beck’s mouth, “The dinner with Mr Chan went really well. He was a little gutted to not have you there, but I think I did a good job making up for it. He’s a really chill person considering his age and status in the world. He does want to have another dinner but with you this time so make sure to give him a ring when he’s back in the country.”
“I most definitely will. That’s so good to hear. At least something went well yesterday.” As soon as you finished your sentence, you were getting a FaceTime call from your mother.
“I’ll leave you to it. Once you’re done with your call can you come to my office?”
“Will do. This shouldn’t take long anyways; It’s mum.”
Beck left you to have your call and headed to his office across yours. You then accepted the FaceTime call.
“Hi mum! Isn’t it really late there for you to be calling me?” 
There was a large time difference between you and your hometown, so it was weird to be getting a call from her right now.
“Y/N darling, please tell me that the news isn’t true.” You gulped.
Your mum picked up on the silence which meant that it wasn’t a lie.
“Mum, it’s true. Although the news will be taken down soon.” You hoped anyways. You waited for her reaction.
“Since when did my daughter go kissing men in the middle of the night on a beach. Those photographs are atrocious Y/N. Did you forget you have a family back home who faces relatives every day?”
“Mum I’m highly aware but this isn’t a fling. I don’t go kissing guys on a daily basis. His agency is working on taking down the news as soon as possible. Could you be happy that I’ve found a guy that I can trust in? Forget about what others think. Isn’t this what you always wanted? For me to settle with someone that I-“
“Love? If you’re about to say the word love…”
“I think I am mum. He’s exactly what I’ve ever wanted. The only down factor is that I’ve only known him for 2 weeks but I’m not planning on progressing quickly. That kiss solidified so much, it’s not just a kiss for me. It meant so much and I’m 100% sure it meant a lot for him too.”
“Y/N!! You should have said this earlier. My girl has found herself a man. It looks like you’re at work. We’ll talk about this later. About you and my soon-to-be son-in-law, bye!” 
She abruptly ended the call and left you gobsmacked. Wasn’t she slewing you off a second ago and now she’s excited about her potential son-in-law? Sometimes even you couldn’t understand women.
“Welp… I guess time to go to Beck’s office.” You spoke out loud.
JINYOUNG’S POV – HOSPITAL
“Mark hyung… You fell for it as well.” You started laughing your ass off.
“Jinyoung, I swear to god. Once you’re out you better run from me and most likely Y/N. You and doc played us to get Y/N worried sick all for a surprise. Do you know how distraught she was? You’re mean man Park Jinyoung.”
“I know hyung. Please don’t remind me. When she came into the room and broke down I struggled to contained myself. I felt so bad. But I’m going to make it up to her. I also got some time off work.” You smiled and winked at Mark.
“You sneak. You’re lucky you actually mean a lot to me or I would have snitched.” You blew Mark a cheesy kiss just to annoy him a little more.
“Please, nothing cringey. Do you have anything planned?”
“In a months time I want to take her out and ask her the second big question. I’ve been thinking about going out and doing an activity. Do you have any suggestions?” Mark always liked doing activities and sports, so he was the best person to ask.
“I’m sure she would like any water sport. You on the other hand. We can’t risk a drowning so let’s stay away from water. Why don’t you guys go horse riding? Its nearly the end of cherry blossom season but the field just out of town is still full of them. It would be perfect.” This is exactly why you ask Mark for ideas.
“You never disappoint Mark hyung. I’ll give that a go but erm… where do we get the horses?” Mark gave you a grin knowing he had the solution to your problem.
“I have a friend who works on a farm. I’m sure if I beg a little she’ll be up for lending two horses.” You clapped due to Mark’s surprises.
“You’re amazing Mark hyung. Don’t know what I would do without you. I’ll let you know when I’ll need them so you can sort it out. Until then, I want to get to know Y/N more. It has just been the handful of occasions we’ve seen each other so this month I want to know everything about her.”
“She’s not a subject Jinyoung. You won’t be having an end of topic test on her in a months time, chill out.” You both chuckled at Mark’s comment on a typical Jinyoung move.
“I know, I know. You understand what I mean though. There’s so much I want to know about her.”
“Alright love boy. Focus on getting better asap so you can fulfil what you’re planning on.”
“Will do.”
With you revealing to Mark about the real truth behind your recovery, you guys talked about what you had missed at the company plus what happened at the centre. All the legal actions being taken place now with Max and the news about you and Y/N. Your whole day was spent with Mark who had gotten the day off. He also went to get Milo to help with the recovery. Soon later the clock was showing afternoon hours and you were hoping Y/N would walk through the door any second.
TUESDAY AFTERNOON
“She’ll come soon Jinyoung. Now can you give me and Milo the same attention you’ve been giving the door for the past 10 minutes.” You moved your gaze from the door to Mark and registered what he said.
“Sorry, hyung. I just want to see her. Ask her how her day went, what she did today and so on.” Mark was grinning at Jinyoung’s in love state. It was nice for him, seeing his younger member finding someone who he thought completed him.
“She’ll be here soon don’t worry- “ And right at that moment the door opened to reveal Y/N with paperwork and what you guessed was food in a bag.
“Hi Mark. Who’s this?” She gestured at Milo.
“This is Milo. Milo, this is Y/N.” Y/N knelt down and gave Milo loving kisses and a rub on the tummy. Your heart won’t be able to contain any longer the overload of cuteness the two excreted.
“Another male from the club. Have you looked after Jinyoung for me whilst I was gone?” She cooed at Milo as if the puppy could give her a reply. You were sure your heart was about to leap out of place.
“W-what’s in the b-bag?” Mark whipped his head round towards you since you were back to acting badly injured duties. He couldn’t help but let out a helpless smile.
“I figured Mark wouldn’t have had a proper meal yet, so I brought a late lunch/early dinner over. You on the other hand. Bon appetite to your syringe meal.” Mark laughed at Y/N’s comment and you gave her an annoyed gaze hoping she’d get the idea.
“Mean.”
You weren’t going to sulk now. Not when Mark was here.
“Thanks Y/N. I’ll eat here and part to meet with the rest. Won’t you be eating?”
“I haven’t had much the appetite lately but don’t mind me, enjoy the food.” Mark gave you a gaze knowing Y/N’s loss of appetite was mostly likely related to you being in hospital. You felt bad but you were going to make it up to her.
“You bought steak! I love steak. Cough it up, who told you.” She smiled as if she knew he would be happy.
“I have my ways.” She brushed her shoulders.
“I need to learn your ways. Thanks for the food. Bon appetite Jinyoung!” He held up a piece of steak and cheers with the syringe tube that was feeding you.
“Y-you’re actually pathetic Mark hyung.” Y/N let out a laugh and Mark choked on his steak laughing at your comment. Milo had taken his place lying on Y/N’s feet slowly falling asleep. She realised the puppy’s position and gathered him onto her lap so he could fall asleep in a comfier place. You just looked at her in awe at her loving character.
“H-how was your day?” She focussed back on you and gave you a smile.“Busy as usual. Sending out documents to third party teams for the eco hotel. Held a company meeting. Got an invite for an architecture festival award thing that’ll be taking place in 2 weeks times, debating on whether or not I should go.”
“That sounds like really good news. Why wouldn’t you want to go?” Mark questioned.
Y/N let out a self-conscious chuckle and continued, “These awards end up always being a load of guys trying to either have a fling or get my number. It’s a bit disturbing if I’m honest. It has it’s good sides, my shareholder is able to make good connections but when I try to do the same the opposition is more interested in me rather than the work. I tend to just not go.”
“I’ll c-come.” Y/N and Mark looked at your sudden invite to the occasion.
“I’d like to remind you Jinyoung that you won’t be fully recovered until 2 months. This night will be in 2 weeks.”
“Y-Y/N, I’ll be better in 2 weeks. It’s not l-like I’ve b-broken my l-legs. I could still attend.”
“And why would you want to attend?” Mark was grinning at the situation since you were making it extremely obvious that you were jealous.
“Because…” She’s got you on the spot again. She’s good at this.
“Because?” She repeated waiting for you to continue.
She interrupted the silence, “It seems to me you’re jealous. Don’t you think Mark?” She directed to Mark hoping he would agree with her.Mark made only one comment which led her to smile widely.
“You’re making it obvious Park.” He ate another bite of his steak whilst grinning at his self. Mostly because he just sold you out in a second.
“Waaa, Mark hyung. Thanks f-for selling m-me out.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s say this… If you are definitely well enough in 2 weeks time. Then sure, you can accompany me at the awards. If doc says it’s fine too.”
“T-This is going to b-be fun. An architecture a-awards festival. Will y-you be getting an a-award?” You were curious about how things worked in her field.
“I don’t want to sound vain, but I think our company will be receiving an award. Don’t know about the individual architect awards though. We’ll find out that night.” You couldn’t wait. To get to see other people’s achievements, especially someone’s who you care about so much.
“C-can’t wait.”
“I can’t stand the flirting. Me and Milo are leaving. I’ll continue with the steak later this afternoon. Thank you for the food again Y/N.” Mark waved you both goodbye and left the room whilst you guys laughed at his childish behaviour.
“He can b-be a k-kid sometimes.” Y/N nodded.
“How was today? Did you hold up well?”
You gave her a nod and an okay sign.
“Good, good. I brought over some of my work to do here. I hope that’s fine by you. I might zone out so beware.” She smiled as you waved her okay.
She gathered all the paperwork and her laptop. She took off her heals and slipped on the slippers the hospital had given her and headed into the bathroom to clean up. Soon or later, she came out of the bathroom with her hair held up in a bun with a pen and no makeup on. You were happy that she felt comfortable to show this side of herself to you.
“What will y-you be working on?” She propped back on the bed with her legs crossed and her laptop on her lap.
“I need to get back to some emails. Then send some blueprints to our construction team for the hotel. Send an apology email to the client for the hotel too. Start coming up with ideas for a fruit orchard-“
“Damn. You’re b-busy.” She nodded as her eyes were fixed on her laptop screen.
“Don’t you think y-you should take a b-break, having c-come from w-work.” She lifted her head from her screen and looked at you.
“This is the life of an architect Jinyoung. We are busy from day 1. I had my little break last week. Back to action.”
You gathered that it was going to be hard to get Y/N’s attention when she worked. You were thinking of ways you could get her off her laptop and a sneaky idea came up to mind.
“But I don’t f-feel too well.” She immediately retracted her eyes from her laptop to you and left her laptop to aside.
“Shall I call doc? Or a nurse?” She was close to hitting the notifying buzzer, but you got a hold of her wrist before she could. You stared into her eyes, wishing it would last forever. You also noticed the shift in colour of her cheeks.
“What can I do to help?” You pulled her closer to you, so she was now sitting on your bed with her face above yours.
“This.” You closed the gap between the two of you. You didn’t even know where you had gained this sort of confidence from, but you weren’t complaining.  Your lips moulded with hers moving at a slowly pace, enjoying every second of the kiss. Your hand reached behind her neck pulling her closer in order to deepen the kiss. It had been so long since you wanted to do this. You also thought it would be the best way to get her to stop working for a bit. She reciprocated with the same amount of passion and emotion. You could sense how much she also wanted this. You would wanna do more, but your current state and the location was exactly appropriate.You guys parted from each other, both breathless from the passionate kiss.
“You are an absolute dick, Park. How do you think I’ll manage to do my work, now that you have me all…” Her words drifted into a silence and she bit her lip restraining herself from continuing. If she continued on like this, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself from going in for round 2.
“All what Miss?” You gave her a pair of innocent eyes knowing she was about to say hot and bothered but you wanted to push her to say it.
“You know what I mean?” She tried to loosen her hand out of your grip, but you weren’t going to let her go that easy.
“All what Y/N?” You gave her a stern look almost demanding her to say it. You liked this affect you had on her, let’s see what she was going to do about it.
“You’re a bit overly confident for a man handicapped to a hospital bed, don’t you think?” She fluttered her eyelashes at you and eyed your face. She built up her defences and wasn’t planning on giving in easily to your game either. Competition, ay?
“Imagine how I might be out of this hospital bed then.” Your eyes dropped to her lips for a millisecond only to look back up to make eye contact with her beautiful eyes again. She wasn’t going to continue was she? Surely, you’ve got her on the spot.
“A bit hard to imagine. Gonna have to wait for you to just show me.” She really is something else, you thought to yourself.
---
I’m not teasing this episode. It got a little saucy near the end, I hope you guys liked it! I have so many plans for future episodes, but they are further along after all of what is done. I love the cocky attitude’s both characters are displaying towards each other although I don’t know if I can get into naughty writings, so I apologise. I feel like Mark is a really good big brother figure, so we’ll see a lot of him too. Also, Jinyoung is lying to Y/N but she has no clue. I probably gave some people heart attacks making you guys think Jinyoung won’t be able to sing again EVER. 
I’ll be back soon with another episode! 
writer-nim x
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ackermancurse · 5 years ago
Note
im super excited to see ffh !!! on another note tho, (sorry for nsfw) imagine thighriding w peter. him holding your hips to control your movements..
AN: kinda got carried away and wrote a whole essay haha but this is my first time posting smut on my blog so please give me feedback! i’d love to improve
Warnings: swearing, 18+ Peter Parker, SMUT!!!
When Peter and you decided to finally get an apartment together with the help of your families you were excited, possibly a little too excited. The two of you always had to plan when you guys could have sex since your dorm rooms weren’t the most ideal place. It especially became less ideal after Peter’s roommate caught you guys fully going at it on top of the covers, not your brightest moment. So to say you were ready to have sex without worrying about someone random barging in was an understatement.
The past week was very busy for Peter that his routine became unbearable for you, it was your first week alone together after all. Peter got home from lectures, worked on assignments, went to study groups, and then came home late at night too tired to do anything.
Watching him walk around in his grey sweatpants and tight t-shirt was absolutely unbearable for you. After he left to his study groups it was like clockwork trying to get yourself off using any and all methods to relieve some of the sexual frustration.
Tonight you decided that you were finally over trying to get off at imagining Peter do stuff to you that you needed to take things into your own hands.
You decided to wear Peter’s red t-shirt that he absolutely went crazy about whenever you wore it, it was like a seduction technique you had. You opted to wear black lace underwear underneath, again Peter’s favorite pair, and no bra. You knew that this was going to finally give you both the action you craved.
Peter’s face was illuminated by his laptop screen as he was typing away for an essay at the kitchen table and of course he was wearing those grey sweatpants that made you tighten your legs together.
You make your way into the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water, reaching for the glass on the third shelf.
It was of course to high so the shirt you were wearing lifted and revealed your underwear. The tapping on the keyboard went to a very slow pace at this change of events and you smirked to yourself, Peter was definitely looking.
After trying to grab the glass you sigh and turn to face Peter. Once you turn he instantly types away again, “Peter can you help me grab this cup please?”
He stops.
“Uh yeah sure,” he coughs and his hand taps lightly against the table before standing up and making his way towards you. He was hard and you could see it through his sweats. Your underwear was damp at the sight knowing you only got him hard with what you were wearing.
He grabs the glass and hands it to you, making direct eye contact and you notice the dark lust filled pupils.
“Thank you babe, sorry to interrupt you,” you pout and Peter’s eyes wander down your body.
He clears his throat again.
“Don’t worry about it. Anything for my girl,” he places a hand on your hip and drags you close giving you a kiss. You bite down on his bottom lip and he moans quietly, using one of his turn ons against him.
You poured yourself water and drank it at the counter watching him type away feeling your underwear getting more and more damp by the second. His concentration was killing you.
Setting the glass in the sink you sway over to Peter and standing behind him you wrap your arms around his chest. Peter turns his head to look at you and you place a peck on his lips. He looks back to the screen and types more. You begin leaving kisses along his jaw and his hands shake as they try to concentrate on typing. Once you got to his neck he slightly tilted it and you leave wet kisses, another moan escaping his lips. You stop.
“I’m not tired yet can I sit on your lap and watch you write until I get sleepy?” you innocently ask your boyfriend.
He hesitates, “Mhmmm.” Peter knew that if he tried to speak his voice would sound too needy. He knew that he hadn’t spent as much time with you as he had hoped. He knew that you were both sexually frustrated out of your minds. He knew that once you sat down on his lap that you guys would eventually get to rip your clothes off and have the sex you both desperatley needed.
You sit with your back facing Peter and try to find a comfortable position. Grinding your hips ever so slightly and feeling Peter’s hard on underneath you. You droop your left arm around Peter’s neck and watch him type away once again.
The veins on his hands were poking out, a sign that he was getting close to losing it.
That’s when you swing your legs to face him and run your fingers through his hair. His eyes close and you hear his breath tremble at your touch.
You slowly start to move your hips along his thigh and moan out at the friction. Peter shuts his laptop and pushes it further towards the center of the table. Your arms wrap around Peter’s neck as his head tilts back in pleasure.
His hands find your hips and help guide them to help your movements. They were extremely tight and you knew that you would have bruises in the morning.
Grazing his cock every once in awhile with your core Peter would let out the loudest groans you’ve heard.
Feeling the pit in your stomach that you have been wanting forever your movements become rapid and you are biting down on your lip.
You let go of the tightness and pant hastily soon feeling Peter release in his sweats as he sighs in content.
“Fuck we needed that,” Peter mumbles as he kisses you passionately.
You stare into his eyes and nod, “Hell yeah we did.”
“Now I don’t know about you but I could go for another round,” Peter pants and two of you rush to take off your clothes.
When you get off of Peter’s lap you notice the wet spot on his light grey sweats and feel yourself getting hot. Peter drops his sweats and you notice another hard on in his boxers.
You lift the red shirt and Peter stares at your bare breasts, your nipples hard from the cold air. You sit on the kitchen table and slowly pull down your black lace underwear while watching Peter pump himself in his hand.
Right as you pull the last bit of your underwear off your leg Peter latched his lips onto yours.
He kissed along your jaw down to your neck and landed on your breasts. He twirled one of your nipples in between his fingers while he sucked dark purple marks on your other breast.
You moan out and he places more kisses until he is face to face with your core.
Peter’s index finger slightly grazes your clit and you whimper, “Wet already?”
“Please Peter I-I need you,” you stammer as you feel Peter’s hot breath against your core. You felt your back arching off the table and you tried bucking your hips towards him.
“As you wish,” his hands pushed your hips down and his the tip of his tongue enters your core.
He licks rapidly and you were a moaning mess.
“God Peter just like that,” you say and your hands shoot down to his hair, tugging him closer.
Peter felt himself grow harder at how much you needed him and how he knew that only he could make you feel this way.
Your thighs wrap around Peter’s head as he continued to lick your clit wildly. Then he caught you by surprise by entering a finger.
“You look so pretty baby girl. So so pretty enjoying my tongue and finger,” Peter says before licking your clit again.
This was it. You started seeing stars.
“I bet you tried pleasing yourself but nothing compared to me huh?” Peter questioned as he entered one more finger and began moving faster.
“Oh god yes. N-Nothing c-compares to you. I needed you s-so bad,” you cry out as you feel your legs shake and the tightness in your stomach becomes unbearable.
“Now princess I want you to let go, let go all in my mouth. I want to taste you,” Peter latches his lips once more to your core and with a loud moan you release.
He slurps up all your juices and uses his fingers to clean the corner of his mouth, licking every bit.
He grazes his finger to your core and you wince. He brings it up to your mouth, “Suck.”
You oblige and suck his finger, tasting yourself.
Peter’s hand goes back down to his member and he pumps himself at the sight of you. Panting and sweaty all because of him.
He sits back down in the chair and continues to stroke his member, moaning quietly.
When you finally catch your breath you push yourself off the table and kneel on the floor in front of Peter’s cock.
Your hand replaces his own and Peter’s head falls back.
You let your tongue swirl the tip in your mouth and Peter whimpers.
Without warning you sink your mouth down all over Peter’s cock, “Fuck.”
Staring up at Peter his eyes are shut forcefully and his lips are slightly parted. You moan against Peter when you feel him hit the back of your throat and his hands grab a fistfull of your hair. He forces his eyes open and he looks at you staring back at him.
“God baby you’re d-doing so good. Do you like my cock? Did you miss me face fucking you?” At the last comment he bucks his hips upwards and you feel tears well in your eyes.
You felt another tightness in your stomach again. You were getting off for the third time and it was just because Peter was moaning because of you.
Peter’s cock twitched in your mouth and you were ready to taste him after such a long time.
Your head was yanked off of his member and you gasp, “Sorry love as much as I want to cum in your mouth I’d rather cum inside you…. You’re still on the pill right?” You nod and he smirks.
He helps you stand up and you hover over his erect member. You feel the tip enter your core slowly and you both let out sighs in pleasure. That’s when Peter grabs a hold of your hips and slams into you, bucking his hips.
The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room as you bounced on Peter’s cock. Your breasts bounce in front of Peter and he flicks his tongue against one of your nipples.
You moan out, “Shit I missed this.”
“Tell me about it. S-so many times I wanted to fuck your brains out when I g-got home,” Peter stammered and your hand fell to your clit moving back and forth rapidly.
Peter speeds up his thrusts and you were screaming his name, letting profanities fall out of your lips.
You feel Peter twitch inside you and the tightness in your stomach was almost about to be set free.
“I-I’m gonna cum,” you say as you look into Peter’s eyes, resting your forehead against his.
“Fuck… I am too. C’mon baby cum for me,” Peter groans as he looks deeply into your eyes. You feel yourself clench around him and let your juices fall out. You pant and Peter chokes on his breath when he cums inside you. Both of your eyes were closed as try to catch your breath.
You kiss Peter and open your eyes. He smiles a sloppy grin at you as you push his hair away from his face. He leans your forehead down and presses a small kiss.
As you stand up off of Peter, your legs tremble as you walk to retrieve the red shirt that was thrown on the ground.
You throw the shirt back on and put your hair in a messy bun, “You are so beautiful.” You turn and see Peter smiling at you, now fully clothed.
Walking over to the fridge you grab 2 gatorades you had bought earlier that day. You hand Peter a blue one while you take the red one. You sit back on his lap and the two of you drink in silence.
“Well I’ll leave you to finish this essay,” you give him a kiss and head to your shared bedroom. You uncover the bed and lay peacefully with the lights off.
A few minutes later you hear shuffling in your room and the bed sinks next to you. Peter’s face was inches from yours and you look confused, “What about your essay?”
He chuckles, “Yeah about that… If you were paying attention to the screen I wasn’t writing anything. Just a bunch of random words.”
You laugh and place a kiss on his lips, “I love you.”
His thumb softly rubs against your cheek, “I love you too.”
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tokyoghoose · 5 years ago
Text
forgive these bastards ➤ prologue
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summary ➣ when detective akaashi comes across a rather complicated case, he is faced with many challenges along the way. In his attempt to solve the murder of a young woman and a string crimes, he must work beside the reader to learn more about the victim. ( detective au )
theme song ➢ im not a good person - pat the bunny, sleep is for the weak - the dreadnoughts, the quittin kind - eleisha eagle, how do you sleep - himalayas, blow my brains out - tikkle me, when i was done dying - dan deacon, stalkers tango - autoheart, youre nobody until somebody wants you dead - saint motel, kitchen fork - john conte, distant past - everything everything, cough cough - everything everything
warnings ➢ mentions of murder and death, description of blood and gore.
announcements!
here it is! the prologue of ftb! :) I'm super excited to start this series! this is a little shorter than i wanted it to be, but I'm still pretty happy with it.
feedback is appreciated and welcome! requests are open!
—————
"Keiji, it's getting dark. Why not come inside for the night?"
The sun was just over the horizon, the moon coming up to replace it. It's bright—the orange and pink colors. The image is burned into young Akaashi's memory when he looks over. He waves at his mother with a nod before passing the volleyball back to his friends and running over. The scrapes on his palm sting and the bruises on his legs hurt a little, but he doesn't mind the sensation. It feels like freedom—even if he doesn't really understand the full meaning of the moon. This is what he imagines it feels like.
Games to be played with friends and laughter. If this is what life holds then he is more than willing to live it. His naivety holds firm when he grabs his mother hand at the door, being pulled into a brisk hug. She laughs and pats his hair and he thinks it's the kindest gesture in the world. He snuggles closer before pulling away to see dinner on the table. His mother locks up, looking quietly into the city with concerned eyes. She wasn't going to let anyone hurt him, the smile that she cherishes wasn't going to fade as long as she could help it. She turns with a smile, passing him a plastic fork before listening to the adventures Akaashi had gone on that day.
Childhood seems so far now.
———
If you were to tell Akaashi's five year old self that seventeen years later everything he thought about freedom and life was a lie and he would become a detective who took away other's freedom, he'd probably laugh and then cry and cry some more. If you were to tell him that his mother would die so he'd have to be raised by his aunt at the age of thirteen, he'd probably punch you in face in attempt to break your nose—and if you then told him that's the reason he became a detective and went through five grueling years of internships and having to learn how to stomach crime scenes in the first place, he'd make sure to add a swift kick to the shin with it. Even at twenty, if someone—anyone—would have told him that he'd never get sleep again because of the things he'd see day to day, eventually becoming desensitized, but still having nightmares that kept him up all hours of the night—well, he'd probably just brush it off because he thought he'd be different.
News flash: he's not different.
In attempt to rub sleep from his eyes (ironic considering he got maybe an hour), Akaashi yawns, triggering a chain reaction from his assistant. The city is bustling with talk of the latest murder—a social media personality. Twitter is blowing up with the hashtags 'rip' and 'always & forever.' Yet, hardly any of the people tweeting and saying things like: 'always in our hearts, never forget,' didn't know her personally. They knew the internet version of her, the side she showed to the world and not the side she was personally. To the world she is known as an idol—a hero to some.
But everyone has their dark secrets.
The car stops along the house's pavement, the driveway a large circle with a statue in the middle. His first thought is someone was in it for the money, maybe a robbery gone wrong. Stepping out the car, he snaps on some gloves and looks around before being handle the case file from an officer on duty, being caught up to speed.
The house is pristine except for the blood that has dried up on the tiled floor. It's a stark contrast from all the white and gold. Minimalist; he notes. Akaashi skims the file before looking at the body and watching it get zipped up into a black bag before being carried away. All that's left is half an outline and some splatter across the floor.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. Just what he needs—more nightmare fuel. But a job is a job no matter how tired he is.
"Alright, let's start at the entrances. Check the windows and doors."
———
Red. Why is there so much red? Whose breathing is that? And why is it so loud?
Your eyes finally focus on the hand outstretched in front of you, widening at the sight. A silent scream escapes past your lips and shakes your body, making you stumble backwards. The shaking hand blocks the view, forcing your eyes away from the scene. The thumping of your heart and blood in your eyes is so deafening that it makes you lightheaded. You felt sick. You were going to vomit, pushing down a gag and covering your mouth.
You look at your hands, willing them to stop shaking in tight fists before looking at the body below you. Blonde hair dyed red from the puddle. A sob wracks through you.
Heaving a heavy breath you weren't aware you were holding and gripping your phone tightly, you dial the police. Your voice shakes when speaking:
"H-help, please. She's dead! "
———
Akaashi rubs at his temple in attempt to soothe an oncoming headache, the dim yellow light at his desk straining his eyes. He looks at the file, nibbling on his lip in irritation. The pictures of the scene and the overall file and personal file just swarms his head with mixed up information and he honestly isn't sure where to start. With a soft sigh he leans back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.
The case is gruesome, a red massacre. Victim was stabbed six times in the abdominal, close to gutted even, but the blunt truama to her head shows she was dead before hitting floor. The door hadn't been broken in, the wood and hinges still in place like they hadn't been shaken—perhaps she let them in. The window had been forced open from the inside, the paint that previously sealed it being chipped aggressively against the pane. It could've been some loopy stalker, but the more he looks at the case it's less likely.
His head hurts and he can't focus and it's getting late.
He begins to nipple of his thumb nail, bringing it up to his lips in deep thought. The red strings in his brain trying to connect the dots sooner than it's actually possible. He's smart, but not that smart. His eyes slowly shift to the post-it note beside the biege file, a number scribbled down messily. They had sent you home with an officer to calm down from the shock. It had been about two days now as they waited for the autopsies and inspected, but time was running short and he needed your statement before the case runs cold and slips through his fingers. He'd have to interrogate you, ask you to speak on behalf of your friend. It seems you would know the most about her and her true identity as her emergency contact. Maybe‐ hopefully, you'd help provide answers.
But he hates this part. The part where he has to call traumatized homicide victims and witnesses. He doesn't do well at comforting people, especially when he's the type to cut straight to the point. He doesn't know how to stop someone from crying (because someone always does) and he can never stop himself from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. He's blunt and yet, he's like a double edged sword. And he knows what they feel because he's been there and he sees it every day, even if he wasn't involved directly. If it haunts him at night, then it must taunt them all day. It's a hard push to get over, and even then the wounds never really heal. Suppose that's why Akaashi keeps pushing to solve cases, even cold ones, because he knows how it feels to be hopeless with a dark mentality. Nothing else matters until the killer is at the mercy of law.
He goes back to gnawing on his abused bottom lip, leaning forward to grab the black office phone before dialing the number. He lets it ring, twice before he hears the line click and a soft, weak 'hello?' He clears his throat, picking up his pen to write down anything he may need. This isn't his first rodeo, afterall.
"Hello, is this l/n y/n? Yes, this is the detective on case. Would you mind coming in to answer a few questions about your friend, Michiko?"
—————
taglist ➣
@izzyphantomgamer @callmeignorance @kenmagi @sawasmura @kagsblueberrymilk
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chimswae · 4 years ago
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BTS Caretaker CH11
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Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?
- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)
- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au
- Word Count: 2,741
- Author Note:I made double update today to make up to the missing weeks! ^^ i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)
Previous | Next
Chapter 11 
Journey back to his dorm feels like forever, the night skies were sombre and starless, and it seemed to mock Jin’s current state.  He purposely walked slowly along the empty streets in hope he could eliminate these unimportant worries in him.
When he was first brought into the company, he had zero knowledge and skills. Even though, it was indeed true skills can be shaped over times, but it was not an easy journey for him. He worked extra hard to make himself worthy in the group. Some may find it was ridiculous to scout him and turned him into one of possible Bangtan’s members.
Jin never missed a day excreting his sweat and tears, singing at the top of his lung, dancing his heart out just to ensure he is worth to be called as Bangtan’s members. His visual alone was not enough, he needed more.
Daesang awards were huge for them and up until now they still could not believe how this thing could happen overnight. They worked their ass off for years, not they wanted to brag and claimed they were better than other idols out there. Different people has different struggle in life. Each of the members has their own struggle too, including him.
He’s aware of the hatred thrown to them over the years, but the support from Armys manage to cover that up. Jin smiled to himself at the memories that he shared with the members and Armys. He would never get tired performing on stage, something that he would do forever.
His attention shifted to a store across the road. Absentmindedly, he crosses the road with a wide grin plastered across his face, there stood huge Bangtan’s standee in their Puma’s outfits. To be frank, he was proud of their achievement. Sometimes, it fascinated him to see their faces everywhere in the city.
It was too much to be called as a dream.
It was real.
“You did great” he whispered under his breath, and he took few more minutes to stare blankly at the standee in front of him. It felt like they had fulfilled the impossible in life.
Tapping his finger on the glass where his standee stood handsomely “You never cease to amaze me Kim Seokjin, good looking as always” he complimented.
When it came to self-compliment, Jin knew the drill.
It somewhat helped him to go through rough times in life, a little self-confident that is all he needed. Then, he would face even the hardest hurdles in life without any single whine.
-------------------
Pinching the bridge of her nose to ease the ache, Seul sighed tiredly, scanning the now organized place with a wide grin “That took me forever!” she stretched a little. Unlike yesterday, she went a little later than usual, because she had to serve an early shift considering Wongeun is out of town for a week.
Checking every nook and cranny of the place, Seul entered that one room which she hated the most, Jin and Suga’s room. As irrelevant as it might sound, the room alone sent tingle down her spine. It brought back to that day when Yoongi and her just.. let’s stop it there. How it was not easy for her to just ignore this thought away, but they were talking about a kiss that they shared. Unintended kiss.
Seul walked pass Yoongi’s room and went straight to Jin. Crouching down in front of the cages where he kept Odeng and Eomuk, Seul decided to feed those two little not so innocent creatures. If it weren’t for them, the thing with Jimin would not happen.
Speaking of Jimin, it rendered her speechless. The topic of Jimin and Yoongi are something that she wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.
“Let’s eat Odeng-ie.. Eomuk-ie…” said Seul gleefully. Setting the food on floor, she sat down cross legged while her fingers fiddles with the lock. As soon as she unlocked the cage, the two siblings sprinted out happily and went straight to their source of happiness.
Seul strokes the top of Odeng head with her finger softly not wanting to scare it away “Eat well, you are so adorable” she giggled.
She then plugged her buds and tuned to some random songs like RM’s Mixtape whom she chose to ignore at first but only to fail her. It was not easy to completely ignore good songs especially Bangtan Sonyeondan’s songs. She had to admit this one fact that they were genius including Min Suga. The honesty in the songs that they produced gave life to her dull self. Guess, their songs are becoming Seul’s main therapy.
Letting out small chuckle, she watched the siblings fought for food and went around and round like a happy kid “It must be less hassle for animal like you. You have nothing to worry off, only to survive in this harsh world. That is not until you find the best owner that can love you without boundaries, then you are set to go” she whispered, giving Eomuk’s small head a soft pat.
After spending for good 30 minutes monitoring Odeng and Eomuk , Seul decided to call it a day, keeping them back into the cage. “We will play again tomorrow, I hope your Jin daddy would not be mad at me. Don’t tell him” she giggled.
Tapping her hand together, she rose up leaving the room silently. To her surprise, she was welcomed by the dark room. Seul tilted her head in confusion “Did I turn off the light? I don’t remember doing that” scrutinizing the room to find any sign of soul inside.
Seul turned her heels to serve the food that she cooked earlier on the table, the boys would be back anytime. With a light heart, she hummed to Bangtan’s songs while keeping her hand busy until everything is arranged perfectly.
A loud bam coming from the front door surprised her, Seul cursed mentally knowing what might come to her. Will she face another nonsense moments with one of the members again? Screw this, meaning it was a sign for her to leave immediately without them knowing. However, it was rather weird that she didn’t catch any commotions from the front considering how loud the boys could be sometimes.
                    It was a long silent only sound of light footstep could be heard across the room.
Her eyes eyed her stuff that lied helplessly at the corner of the room, thankfully it was away from prying eyes. Stealthily, Seul made her way without making any sound so she could leave instantly. As she was about to gather herself again and flee from the scene, her ears perked up, those sound of soft sob drew her attention from her stuff.
Who is crying? Her brows knitted together. Seul got up, bailing her earlier plan to escape. She was more interested in finding the source of that soft voice. To her, it sounded broken and for an odd reason her heart clenched in pain.
Her heart pounded as she searched for the owner of the sad sob. Due to the darkness in the room, she didn’t even realize the soft thing beneath her “Oh my god, im s-“her eyes shot open upon her skin made contact with the thing there.
His head was buried in his knees turning him into a fragile kid who feared the darkness.
Jin head snapped at the friction, and he looked at Seul with confused look. Even in the darkness she could see his eyes glistening with tears, something told her, he was indeed broken inside. “Who…are you…” in comparison to her encounter with Jimin, this one with Jin was rather calm. Most probably Jin was more mature and think a little rationally, she supposed.
His voice was raspy and gruffy, and Seul continued to stare at him in confusion and concern. He was supposed to flip out or scared at least because after all he found a stranger in the same room as his. Why would he act all calm and alright? Could Yoongi or Jimin told everyone about her existence? That could be it judging from Jin’s ignorance.
“Are you urm alright?” Seul inquired timidly.
Jin nodded slightly as his kept his meaningful gaze making Seul recoiled in her stance “You are Mrs Hwang’s daughter?” Jin mumbled. “I think I saw you before, that eyes” his lips were pressed into thin line trying to recall the memories.
“I don’t remember meeting you” she blinked.
He shifted, and even his little movement got her nervous. Seul stared blankly at Jin’s hand, he held out his palm to her direction as if like an offer but what was that for again. She hesitantly reached her right hand to his warm one, and Jin’s strong grip almost knocked her down.
Using Seul weight as a support, he pushed his body up, standing straight with a soft sigh.  
“Never mention this to other” he warned.
“I..dont have any intention on telling anyone. Urm.. I will probably just go” she pulled her hand away from Jin’s grasp. Now she missed the emptiness and warmth that she felt earlier. Why was she like this? Was she that desperate for a touch?
Nothing came from Jin, so she took the cue to walk away before anyone else appeared and she didn’t want to be cornered by the group. This was not the time to be investigated. He reached around and took hold of her wrist gently but firmly causing the girl to turn her body again facing Jin “Can I have a cup of hot tea?” he blurted out.
Seul was losing her words, first Jin was too beautiful and secondly the words coming from his mouth alone got her heart flipping weirdly here and there. Crazy Ji Seul.
“Su..re…I will get it for you” she coughed softly, slowly slipping away. She could feel his gaze throw daggers through her head. Was he always that calm? However, he looked like he was over all shits in life. Did something happen to him? Where were others?
 ------------------------
The atmosphere was rather awkward, glancing over the man across her, Seul mentally complimented Jin’s visual. It was her first time seeing him up close, so it was fascinating to see the popular guy who became a talk of town due to his overflowing charms. She had to agree that Jin is dashing and super good looking.
Jin took a long sip from his hot tea, it helped to comfort his heart.
Finally breaking the silence, Jin let out an exhaust sigh garnering Seul attention “So are you a fan?” he looked up meeting her bewildered stare.
“Mmm.. not really? I listen to your songs though” she replied abruptly.
“Are you sure you are not a sasaeng?” he raked his fingers in his hair not breaking the contact with Seul. Jin was studying her diligently, since he only heard the story from Yoongi and Jimin. He had no choice but to believe Yoongi’s theory. When he first heard it from Jimin few days ago, Jungkook and him was shocked that it matched Yoongi’s story. Leaving them with no choice, they decided to trust Jimin and Yoongi, therefore just like that the rest of the members were being informed about this Mrs Hwang daughter situation. Well, minus their managers of course.
The boys decided to take this matter in their own hands. If what Seul told them was the truth, then what choice did they have. The caretaker ahjumma had been awfully nice to them, the least they could do was to seal the secret away from their managers and Bighit.
Depending on the root of the story and it validity, of course.
“Do I look like that ‘oppa please notice me juseyo~’ kind of girl” Seul mimicked a fangirl voice and rolled her eyes.
The corner of his lips was tugged into a small smile “It is too much a coincidence that you are the caretaker ahjumma’s daughter, how can we trust you?” he pressed.
“That is up to you, I am here to do my job as requested by my mother. And if it weren’t for her, I would not be here invading your so called personal space. I think I explained to that Suga guy and some weird guy who go around the house shirtless” she stopped, hissing under her breath for spouting nonsense in front of Jin.
“Weird guy who wander around the house shirtless? What exactly happened to you and Jimin?” he raised his brows with a deep frown.
Seul flustered “Nothing. I thought he told you everything considering the first thing that came out from you was ‘Are you Mrs Hwang’s daughter?’. Didn’t rude Suga tell you everything?” she snorted hoping Yoongi would not reveal the kisses.
“ Rude Suga” Jin shook his head in disapproval, “That is offending me Miss Mrs Hwang’s daughter” he exclaimed.
“Heol, I admired your strong bonds with Suga” she looked at him disbelief. Then the table turned silent again, as they were deep in their own thought trying to decipher things around them. On the other hand, Jin was too exhausted to start another mouth fight. For now, he trusted her seeing how she acted. Seul was definitely not a fan or worse sasaeng fan.
Seul cleared her throat easing the awkwardness “So, what happen back then?” she chewed her lower lips.
Not expecting the question from Seul, Jin face felt and now he returned to his sombre self “That one..i am having that moment where my mental shut down by its own. It is unavoidable and make me feel shitty. I feel like I have achieved something in life, but it still fails me” he murmured.
“Whatever happen to you, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. You just have to move on from what is hurting you, yet don’t you ever forget the things that it taught you. Jin-ssi, just because you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing. Every great success that you achieve now is a worthy struggle for you. Then, you realize that the hurdles that you face is not found on the path, it is the path itself. Do not be afraid to get up again and to try. I know you are worthy to be in Bangtan. Everyone does.” She exhaled softly.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and the lecture began to sound like a melodious music to his ears. Jin stared at her wide eyes as if it was some kind of joke that this person whom he just met could read through him like an open book. He found the strength to smile again afterwards which flustered Seul. She will never get used of Jin’s good look, it was dazzling.
“That takes my breath away..Mrs Hwang..mm?” before he could continue with the long nickname that he gave her, Seul blurted “It is Seul. Ji Seul” she smiled awkwardly.
“Seul..” he hummed with a shy smile.
“It is like you could read through me, thank you for that. I appreciated it Seul-ssi” he stretched out his hand to the cup direction, taking a short sip from it again while eyeing Seul. He remembered now where they first met. It was the elevator girl looking confused and broken. So, that was her.
“I need to go back, it is late. I don’t want to cause any uproar when the rest came in. This maybe probably our first and last meeting Jin-ssi. I will perform my job under the radar from now on” she professed.
Jin flinched upon hearing her random blabbered, Seul got up from her seat bowing politely “There are food for everyone, urm except for Suga” she patted her lips and scolded it making the older guy chuckled.
“I didn’t mean to sound bias but he…nevermind. I will take my leave now” she rubbed her neck, gathering her stuff and exited the area before she made fun of herself in front of him. Her steps came to a stop halfway to the living room, and without turning back to Jin “And, Jin-ssi.. Remember before anything, to be yourself and love yourself. It is the recipe to happiness” Jin tilted his head staring at her back with genuine smile. There was astounding power flowing in this room the likes of which he had never felt before.
“We will meet again for sure Ji Seul”
This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.
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stevesharrlngtons · 5 years ago
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120 steve
he’s pampering me, let him be 
not a shot for shot scene (bc u know im not a fan), but may hold slight spoilers for those who haven’t finished st3 yet. but it’s kinda an au? idk, but i hope you enjoy lmao
you were getting sick and fucking tired of coming so close to your death. you were far too young to have seen what you had, experience the trauma that had been dished your way, and have to live forever with the knowledge of interdimensional creatures out for blood.  
and as you sat now in the starcount food court, with blood caked skin, a throbbing headache and the knowledge of possessions, russian spies and more upside down bullshit, you longed deeply for a time when wondering if steve would like your new lip color was your biggest problem. that’s what mattered, not hoping that you would evade monsters and live to see the next day.  
everything just kept happening so fast. in ‘83 it felt like days. in ‘84, weeks. now, you swore you, robin, steve, dustin and erica had been fighting for months, years even. you had to remind yourself continually that it was only friday, and not months in the future. two days ago steve had planned a date for the two of you. nothing fancy, just a movie and burgers at the drive in, but you had been looking forward to it. you had been looking forward to a night off. you were supposed to be swapping spit with your boyfriend in the back of a movie theater, not listening to chief hopper and dustin play rapid catch up on the newest threats.  
you gnawed at your thumb nail, letting your mind go blank and take a rest. you weren’t sure when you’d be privy to another calm moment like this. it needed all the time it could get.
you stayed in your blissfully unaware bubble until you felt a tap on your shoulder. thumb still resting on your lips, you glanced up to see one of the men who had come in with hopper looming over you.
when he saw he caught your attention, he shook his hand at you gently. he held a damp handkerchief and was montioning to your blood covered knees.
“oh, um thank you.” you offered a sweet smile as you gingerly took the handkerchief from the man, who grinned when you took it.
he then turned to the other tag along, muttered in words you could now recognized as russian and looked back to you, smile still intact.
“he says to tell him if you need anything else.” the man informed you.
“uh, alright. tell him thank you?” you breathed an uncomfortable laugh as your eyes darted between the two strange men.
“она говорит спасибо.”
she says thank you.
his grin only widened.
“i don’t think i caught your name, either of you.” you looked between both of them again.
“murray bauman,” he extended his hand which you took, “and this is alexei.”
“(y/n) (y/l/n), it’s a pleasure. though, i wish it weren’t under less threatening circumstances.” you said with a charismatic lit to your voice.
murray relied your words in russian as you shook alexei’s hand, who placed his free hand on the back of your hand clasped in his.
“удовольствие все мое.”
the pleasure is mine.
with him still holding you hand, you glanced over to murray, your smile staying put as to not tip alexei off on your slight discomfort.
“he says the pleasure is all his.”  
“quite the charmer.” you demurely dipped your head.
“она сказала, что ты очаровательный.”
she says you’re charming.
“она очаровательная.” alexei replied almost instantly, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.
murray chuckled, “he says you’re the charming one.”
“did he flirt with joyce this much?” you prompted, turning back to rid the blood from your knees.
“that was jim’s prerogative.” murray scoffed, and you laughed.
“well, it is nice to know that i am the least bit alluring in this state. i feel like i’ve been hit by a truck.”
alexei’s eyes were ping ponging between you and murray as you spoke out of his native tongue.
“так?“
so?
“она польщена твоим флиртом.”
she is flattered by your flirting.
alexei didn’t reply, but his bashful look said it all.
while you cleaned, alexei flirted and murray translated, steve stood watching it all from a far. his eyes narrowed as he watched you laugh and reply back to whatever murray had just said. the russian asshole he was with was giving you some looks steve didn’t approve of. this green feeling wasn’t unfamiliar territory for steve, but he didn’t think he’d be experiencing it here and now, of all times.
you were naturally appealing and attractive to others, you exuded it. people were drawn to you, adored and worshipped you when your orbit caught them. you couldn’t turn it off, couldn’t push people away, no matter the situation. but right now, steve wished you could.
“aye, what do you think they’re talkin’ about?” steve elbowed robin and tipped his chin over to where you sat.
robin observed the scene for a moment before speaking.
“if i had to guess? russian doctor dude is trying to butter up your girl. i can tell from here he’s flirting hard core.”
steve didn’t need any more encouragement than that to stalk across the food court toward to three of you. when he arrived, steve joined in on the laughter, his obviously forced and angry.
“wow, what’s so funny over here? didn’t think the end of the world would be a laughing matter.” steve practically berated.
“well, we were actually just making light of this situation. we’ve done this before, baby. y’know if we get to in our heads, we crumble.” you reached up to take steve’s hand in yours hoping it would calm him, but his resolve only hardened.
“yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool. so, shitbag soviet over here ain’t bothering you?” steve glared daggers into a very confused alexei.
“oh, goodey. another man in this group incapable of expressing their insecurities in a constructive way.” murray chimed in sarcastically.
“the fuck you just say?” steve took a step forward and puffed out his chest at murray’s comment. sadly, only proving murray’s point further.
you quickly turned around to the two men behind you and kept a death grip on your boyfriend’s hand.  
“murray, darling. alexei,” he perked up at the mention of his name, “can you both go grab me a cup of ice and something to eat? i’m starved.”
“она попросила лед и еду.” murray relayed.
she asked for ice and food.
“женский мальчик ее разозлил?” alexei asked, worried.
did the feminine boy make her angry?
“нет, что-то говорит мне, что она много занимается этим.” murray snorted a laugh before leading alexei off to find what you requested.
no, i have a feeling she deals with this a lot.
“what? what did they say about me?” steve craned his neck to watch them leave.
“sorry, i didn’t become fluent in russian since the last time i saw you.” you replied.
“well, i know it was about me. commie assholes.” he cursed.
you slapped his leg, “hey! what the hell?”
“those commie assholes are helping us figure this shit out. don’t be an a dick.”
“you’re only saying that because he’s kissing your ass.” steve muttered as he flexed his jaw.
“can’t get mad at him for something you love to do too, harrington.” you shot him a smile.
he looked at you and rolled his eyes, why did your smile have to be so cute? could you stop being so cute for five fucking seconds?
“whatever, it’s still annoying. even robin could tell how thick he was laying it on with you.” steve grimaced, coming to sit next to you.
“he’s pamering me, let him be.” you sighed and rested your temple against his shoulder. as you did, steve slung his arm around you.
“i should be pampering you. not that fuckin’ babushka.” steve brought you closer to him, reveling in your closeness and satiating his protective instinct.
somehow after a day of running from russians, being tortured and sweating from pure fear, you still smelled amazing. god, he hated how perfect you were sometimes.
“let him. let’s me conserve my energy for when i pamper you after this is all over.” you lifted your head briefly to press a kiss to his cheek.
“if we get out of this.”
“we will. this is all gonna work out.”
steve wasn’t so sure. there was still so much that could go wrong. the obstacles were rising and viable plans were dwindling. billy was out there with his army of flayed, ready and waiting to kill them all, and their one weapon was weak and acting faulty. but, steve wasn’t going to let himself be cynical. like you said, you had done this before, side by side and won. so what was a third time? what was the saying? third time’s the charm? he could only hope that applied now.
but in case it didn’t, steve memorized this moment with you. curled to his chest, smelling like fresh air and wild flowers.
feedback is greatly appreciated!!
requests are closed 
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cynicalrainbows · 5 years ago
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Inner Voice Chpt 4
Sorry for the slight pause! I've been working hard on trying to get Kitty's inner-Henry right.... and to properly show the absolute agony of trying to negotiate non-fucked up conversations when you're used to....a certain degree of fucked-up-ness as normal. I hope I did it justice- feedback is always so very welcome please!
TW for refs to an emotionally abusive relationship.
In the bathroom, she splashes water on her face and leans her forehead against the cool surface of the mirror, willing her eyes to stop stinging and her breathing to go back to normal before she has to face the others again. The last thing she needs is to have to explain herself.
It isn’t long though before there’s a tap at the outer door.
Well, at least they aren’t just coming straight in….
‘Kitty?’
Wearily she wipes her eyes: it will cause more of a fuss if she refuses to answer, as if she’s manipulating them into being more concerned than necessary.
‘You can come in, Anna’
‘Are you ok?’
She begins to nod, mostly out of habit, but as she does, she feels her face crumple and the tears return.
‘I’m- fine-’
‘No you’re not.’ Anna’s arms are not the same arms that had comforted her in their first friendship but they’re just as warm. ‘But you will be.’
‘I’m- sorry’ Her voice catches in her throat, and she nearly chokes on it. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong- what’s wrong with me-’
By rights, Anna should push her away for making a fuss over nothing but she doesn’t. (She never has done.)
‘Just one of those days?’ There’s no judgement, just understanding, as if Anna too is guilty of interrupting rehearsals to whine beside a sink.
She lets her heavy head rest in the hollow of Anna's neck. She doesn’t have the strength to lie. ‘I’m…..so tired. Of everything.’
‘I know, liebling. Do you remember, you said the same thing to me back then?’
She does remember. Her fourth day as a Maid In Waiting, still walking on pins with the anxiety of being officially in Royal Service, still unable to find her way around the enormous palace and, as consequence, late for every one of her duties. When the new queen-to-be had singled her out and called her to speak privately, she’d expected a scolding- or worse, to be sent home in disgrace.
‘I was so homesick. Court wasn’t how I'd imagined it.’
‘It wasn’t how I’d imagined it either- but d’you know, seeing that you were new to everything too made me feel so much less alone. It made things easier, I could worry about how you were getting on, rather than thinking about how strange it was for me-’
‘I thought I was in trouble- but you were so kind…..’
(It’s funny, in a sick sort of way, to think that sending her home in disgrace is, in hindsight, the very kindest thing Anna could have done for her then.)
‘I’m glad you thought so.’
‘You said it would get easier....’
‘I did. I was wrong then, I think.’
She gave the tiniest of nods and Anna tightens her hold.
‘It will be easier this time though. I promise.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because I'm going to take better care of you, this time around.’
She says it so very certainly, as if it’s something she’s been thinking for a while. Kitty pulls away slightly. 
‘You don't need to, Anna.’ She doesn’t want to make herself anyone’s duty. All duties, even those taken on willingly, pall over time, she knows. ‘I know what I’m like, but honestly I can take care of myself.’
Anna looks at her oddly. ‘What do you think you’re like?’
It’s the sort of question that was usually a trap- it makes her anxious. It reminds her of conversations with Henry, round and round, trying to escape a snare that she couldn't see coming until she was already inside it.
(‘What did you mean by that? What are you really saying? What does this mean?’ He was always better tuned to picking up the intricacies of what she ‘really meant’ than she was. She usually didn’t even realise that she’d said something grossly offensive- or ungrateful or cruel- until he pointed it out to her.)
‘I’m didn’t mean- I’m sorry- I-’
Oh Kitty’ Anna reaches out a hand and instinctively, she flinches away. It’s just a twitch but she still feels dreadful for it…. She’s sure Anna will be hurt by her lack of trust.
But when she takes Kitty’s face in both of her hands, her dark eyes are full of love. They made the tight bands across her chest loosen slightly.
 ‘Look at me. I promise I'm not upset with you, liebling. I’m not getting cross. I was just asking because I'd like to know, so that I can reassure you. Ok?’
There’s a moment before she can make herself respond.
‘Ok.’
Anna gives a little nod for her to continue.
‘Ok. I-’ She takes a breath that is only a bit shaky. ‘I’m-’ It’s hard but she makes herself, Anna deserves that much at least. ‘I’m….not a good person. I…. think things. And I say things. And-’ She sucks in a quick gulp of air. Being this honest is hard, she feels as if she’s breaking herself open. ‘And...I’m afraid that over time, you and the others, you’ll start to see things in me, soon, and I’m afraid of that, that you’re maybe seeing them already-’
Anna's thumb brushes away the wetness on her cheek, her face calm. ‘What things, liebling?’
‘That I’m-’ Her voice catches. She’s afraid to list her worst traits to Anna in case it makes her notice them, she’s even more afraid that they won’t come as a surprise  ‘That I’m selfish. That I'm….bad. Like earlier- when they said that I was singing for vulnerable girls, that by making my song better, I was supporting them?’
‘Yes’
‘And my thought- my first thought? Was just… that I didn't care.’ She talks faster, she wants to get it over with. ‘That I was too tired to think about that, that I just wanted to get on with things, even if the song wasn't quite right, just so it could be over. And that's- I know that’s terrible but it’s...its how I felt-’
(‘Selfish, selfish girl, selfish girl, you have a cruel soul and a hard heart. What sort of person would think such things? What sort of person wouldn’t sicken at putting herself first in every case, what sort of person could live with themselves?’)
Tears blur Anna's face and she’s glad of it- she doesn’t want to see the shock and rejection that she deserves. The moment stretches like elastic, longer and longer- and then Anna moves and she flinches away again, from the blow that she expects, that she surely deserves this time- and instead, she feels herself being pulled back into the safety of Anna's arms.
‘Oh liebling. Oh Kitty.’
‘Im sorry, I-’
‘Shhhh, it’s alright.’ Anna’s voice is heavy with emotion and it sounds odd. ‘I promise you- Kitty, I promise you, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. You’re- you’re lovely-’
‘I’m not, I’m-’
Anna talks over her.
‘You’re worn out, of course you wanted it to be over. That doesn't make you selfish, that doesn't make you bad, it makes you normal.’
There's so much sincerity in Anna’s tone that it’s hard, for a moment at least, to disbelieve her.
‘Why don't I feel like it?’
‘Because you’re a good person. Do you think bad people spend time worrying about being good? No.’ Anna doesn’t wait for a response. ‘No, they don’t. But you do. Because you care.’
Anna is waiting for a sign of agreement, and it’s hard but she doesn't have it in her to lie, even to give Anna the reassurance she wants. She shakes her head slowly, feeling the tears come back- (‘You’re just trying to make her feel guilty, to milk more sweet words and reassurance from her. She’ll tire of it, soon enough-’) but Anna doesn't look annoyed, just cuddles her close again, while Kitty grips the back of her shirt. 
‘That’s ok. I'll….just keep reminding you until you believe me.’ Anna’s voice holds a smile. ‘I can be very persistent, you know...Remember my battle with Anne over the pillow?’
She does, and it’s enough to shake a weak laugh out of her. Anna chuckles too and moves a hand up to rub her tight shoulders.
‘The others will agree with me, you know.’
Anna says it with conviction but she knows she's wrong somehow. She isn’t sure if she wants to try to convince Anna of it though.
‘I…..I don't know if i want to keep talking about this now-please-’
Anna doesn’t look irritated at her attempt to end the conversation. (It had always infuriated Henry though.)
‘That’s ok, you must be exhausted.’
‘Just a bit...’
Anna detaches slightly to pass her some tissues, and waits silently while Kitty dries her eyes for what feels like the hundredth time. They’re already feeling sore and swollen.
‘Are you ready to go back?’
‘Not really.’
‘Ok.’
‘But we should.’
She knows she’ll have to face them sometime after all.
‘Ok.’
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