#Im struggling people. Not because of art
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Gorgus dangerous woman ♡
|COMMISSIONS OPEN!!|
#fanart#artist on tumblr#bsd#bungou stray dogs#文スト#Kouyou Ozaki#Ozaki Kouyou#bsd kouyou#Im struggling people. Not because of art#But because my laptop broke#I am having to use a old laptop. Im talking wndow 7 old...#Life been fucking my ass with a chainsaw but we keep going#Please if you can donate to my Ko-fi or commission me i would appreciate it greatly#I will open a new slot for doodle like chibis for $3 dlls see if i can get something#At least a funny bit of this thing is that i have to send my process on a chat with my boyfriends to check colors#cause color pixels are so different from old computers to current ones lemme tell ya that#fucking me up but my beloveds are having fun seeing my coloring process as i go insane /pos#I have other pieces coming up too. Haven't post them cause im in a weird mental state but i will post them between this weeks or days#My Chuuya plushie is what's keeping me going#I know i sound insane but im stable. Trust
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sunstone..? perhaps???
anon ur so real for this... they're my faves since i first played rw
havent drawn them in a loong time though so i doodled these real quick :^)
#rain world#five pebbles#seven red suns#rw sunstone#my art#also to clarify because im annoying and love overexplaining things ☝️🤓#the quote on the second pic is supposed to summarize their feelings towards the great task#and each other too of course#in that theyre kinda right to feel isolated because a lot of other iterators dont talk about this feeling of pointlessness#but theyre still being a tad pretentious here#just because people dont talk about their struggles doesnt mean theyre not struggling!#suns does understand this to a degree#but still#so much of their dialogue reads like a “you're the only one who gets me” kinda thing#okay ill stop rambling#ill never get over these two
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IT'S TIME FOR THE ANNUAL DOGYDAYZ ART POST!! Sorry for being inactive here, for anyone interested, I have a Bsky I use far more often now (DogyDayz there too!). I mostly stepped away from Tumblr because I just felt like my work wasn't exactly meant for this platform, but Scourge being one of my favs who I have VERY specific ideas abt and interps of also contributed. I can't exactly help how particular I am about him (or Fiona), and being a system with both of them as headmates doesn't do much to help either, so I just decided to stick to my friend groups. BUT!!! Here I am to dump some art! If anyone cares at all, I've also gotten super into EXEs and Sonicpastas alongside MaxDesignPro, so if anyone wants to see that art let me know and maybe I'll get more active here!
Anyway, the Metal Sonic featured here belongs to @the_reaplet and is a part of our collaborative RP storyline! The guy who looks real messy with the head bandages is also my anti-Jules interp, who's unique from probably every other interp probably solely because he's not actually a bad person. That art is of him possessing his necromanced body, also part of that storyline with Salsa.
And, yes. My Fiona design has gold eyes. Because it looks better.
#my art#scourge the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#metal sonic#metadow#shadow x metal sonic#fiona fox#fiourge#and just because none of yall can agree on a damn ship name#fionourge#scourgiona#i really hate that last one but apparently people use it and i want people to see my art so whateverrrr#also i swear to god if i see anyone shit talk Fiona in the comments im blocking you#people being shitty abt her is part of what drove me away from Tumblr to begin with#i have no tolerance for it#shes an imperfect character with flaws and issues get over it <3#anyway i love fiourge soooo much i love the ideas of them truly caring abt one another#and being willing to work thru eachother's issues and fight thru everything to make it work#that they never truly felt they had any real reasons to 'get better' before they knew eachother#they never properly understood how it felt to be truly loved either#so of course theyd have a bunch of fuck ups before managing to succeed#im so sick of ships being so basic and there never being normal human struggles#i love them so so so much they mean so much to me
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not a defect
happy belated trans visibility day 🪼🌸🥚 !!!!
(more versions under the cut)
#in an effort to make myself more proud of being trans#im gonna try to make some art about i#public art that people can see#because god its fucking hard to make yourself seen#im really struggling with that lmao. so im gonna try harder#trans#trans day of visibility#tdov#tdov 2025#trans man#trans rights#transgender#transfem#trans pride#trans woman#trans women are beautiful#ftm#mtf#pride#lgbt#lgbtpride#lgbt art#lgbtq#bi#bisexual#art#entitysart#digital art#digital painting#nonbinary
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what a nice trio i hope the people they were supposed to trust most don't betray them horrifically
#yasha's art#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#hopign to god that i didnt animefy swansea toomuch. it was such a struggle#not because drawing older people is a struggle for me generally its just that i was trying to achieve a more geometric style than usual and#im worried that the small resolution and simpler style mightve made him too chibi
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the tf2 fandom on tumblr is in such dire straits, it wraps around from being annoying to being funny
no one knows anything about the time period it's set in. no one knows anything about the time period it was written in. no one knows the media genre it's parodying. no one knows how to write mostly-middleaged, mostly-white men who are intentionally and comedically a product of their time and individual cultures. no one seems to even realize each character is hugely informed by (the stereotyped version of) their culture. no one is comfortable engaging with the old war propaganda it's satirizing. no one knows anything about guns. some people actually think the sniper is 26
it's hard to watch, but then again the official comics post-2015 fall into every single one of these pitfalls too so like. maybe a lack of media literacy isn't just a fandom problem
#deerchatter#team fortress 2#tf2#yeah im putting it in the tags idc it has to be said#yes it's a silly haha world and the plot and characters are just set dressing for a fun online game#but it's also a hugely detailed and well-crafted piece of art w a lot of interesting layers that most fandomites#don't even seem to realize are there?? they have no idea ???#comedy as a genre is so disrespected and so misunderstood. just because smth is meant to be funny doesn't mean it's not art !!!#it still MEANS something even if it's meant to make you laugh instead of cry! fandoms struggle w that 1 so much#this is the same developer that made portal! just bc it isn't poignant doesn't mean it wasn't crafted w the same nuance and care!#im at the end of my rope tumblr fandoms desperately need to start getting obsessed w comedy as a genre so we can get#some media literacy on that too for you people
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In case anyone is wondering why I'm barely posting about Myra and Lune when Albin gets all my mental screen time-- Myra and Lune are hard to draw and I never quite get them right 🫠
#that and they're not as fleshed out yet by proxy of being newer#im sort of struggling with Lune's backstory because she's the character that's the least like me and im just like 8) huh#what would her motives be?? idk we have opposite personalities and im Bad at Understanding People in general 😵💫#not art
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Some traditional sketches of my boy






#dylan lenivy#dylan the quarry#my art#traditional art#marker sketch#i am struggling#so much trying to get him to look right#im going insane actually#next we tackle Ryan#and then posing#because gay people!#i swear I'll draw more Radioheads#i love them to much not to#im just struggling rn
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fuck my life i hate phone booths i hate your stupid red phone booth i hate perspetcive Squiddeoaur you have to let go of your britishisms please
#daily complaining i love complaining about things i inflict upon myself sorry to people who follow me for like art#bros struggling with curved perspective because bro winged it instead of planning it out... bros mad#malded for so long on the sketch that now i cant color this. also everythings off which is a lot more obvious when its colored. agh#UPDATE like a few hrs latr:::: im figuring it out. liquify save me. also just set the camera Inside the fucking box and youre done#pats self on back ive got that thawg in me still
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I personally always hold a character's original story or writing higher than things after. I still consider them, but if things contradict than whatever was in the original usually comes out on top
#PUT THE JAYBIN FLASHBACK PANEL DOWN#anyway my recommended reading for jason is uh. near all 80s batman comics and then judd winick's writing#i atm cant put the jaybin reading recommendation any shorter but the least i can say is dont JUST read his desth and the garzonas case#jason is intentionally out of character leading up to his death + jim starlin didnt like him#and if youve read dick robin be prepared for him to act like robin. (esp if youre reading the barr davis neary ones ive heard)#(barr is the writer iirc but barr davis neary is how i remember it because the author n art were often connected in that case)#(if you see a screenshot or panel of a small cute squishy 80s jaybin thats barr davis neary)#hes not the angry robin but hes also Not Really a happy robin. just chillin. and being a person that cant be defined by one emotion#i stand by considering pre crisis important reading. at least for you to get a better feel of him. he died pretty soon after the retcon#i do think he doesn't have much strong character going on. i struggle to describe him at times#when you first get to tim after awhile of jaybin he immediately has a stronger presence so to say#but back to the dick thing. if you dont like jason being a copy of dick i dont think youre gonna like jason point blank#hes kinda. often compared to dick. and is not allowed a different hero identity. +implied not allowed to change the costume#i like to use this as a base for adult jason copying people/wearing other heros costumes/ and never really having his OWN identity#bruce kinda fucked him up imo. but imo. we going out of cleary stated territory#and i do know now that im putting the quilt man fight on the list tho. pretend theres a list#and the titans crossovers of course#jason todd
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if I said eisa davis' influence in making lmm actually write something rather radically progressive has subsequently inspired me to return to my roots of actually fucking thinking of making radically progressive musicals after a 3-year long hiatus in doing so, then what-
#thdjdjd i dunno like gjdjd#look warriors did something fucking weird to my brain#it brought me back to when i first was obsessed with WATT when i was 16#and hamilton when i was 13#like it makes me wanna write again#and now with eisa davis proving that Radically Progressive Ideas In Art Can Fucking Work If You Have The Balls#im um#really thinking about going back WHAHAHA#might rework Patron the musical into a concept album idea of sorts#side a being life as a filipino student who learns the ins and outs of activism and ndmos here#side b being their counterpart who is a writer that struggles against being indocrinated by um neo-colonialist capitalist beliefs#all that comes with prolonged exposure to the bubble of privilege in the phililpines#(especially the role that the US capitalism plays in it hahahahaha we haven't forgotten about that)#basically not exactly a princess and the pauper situation but um just two people on different sides of the same coin#and its meant to be an exploration of my experiences in college#both in terms of my activism#and me being made to mind the line at times as a communication student and a writer#its like splitting myself into two and making them butt heads PFFT but yea#and I call it Patron because Side A (Filipino) is inspired from the concept of patron saints ('who dies for us? who do we die for?')#(pronounce side A as PAH-tron with a roll to that R)#and Side B is um what are the privileges and pitfalls of foreign patronage?#(yes this is inspired by um some filipinos being so enamored by socio-economic privilege upon stepping foot in amerca that they forget-#where they came from)#anyways thats ny tiny ramble for today im gonna get back to wofk#personal shit#voila the return of the izzy idea rambles
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writing is so cool because it gives me a chance to talk about things I'm passionate about without having anyone in the room with me who could ignore me or silence me or get angry at me for daring to trust them enough to be honest with them or just tell me I talk too much
#vent post#listen i grew up with people who didn't want me to say a word unless i was asked to#“children should be seen and not heard” my ass#to this day i struggle to talk when I'm with people because my head is empty because i never learned how to#and still i have a very strong belief that i talk too much#as if it was a mortal sin. what if im just talkative by nature. what then#so writing can save me because i can say everything i want and maybe someone will read it maybe not#but at least no one can silence me mid sentence#there's freedom in art forms which allow communication#if you read my stories i highly encourage you to look behind the blue curtains and try find the measage#i wish i could tell you directly i really wish
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fanart is so hard to draw. stupid characters having stupid details that are out of my stupid comfort zone AAAAAGH
#ITS A STRUGGLE#at least pretty much everything is stuff i already wanted to learn but had just been putting off for whatever reason (procrastination) but#first cotl making me draw furries. and then animal crossing making them more complicated (tom nook's nose confused me)#then gravity falls making me draw old people. and now in dbh i am facing the struggle of Markus's subtle facial hair because i cant get away#with just doing a gradient that goes halfway up the face like i did with gravity falls. because it wouldn't look right trust me ive already#tried out of sheer desperation it was horrible#AGH#and then theres the whole thing of translating other styles into yours. especially when thise styles have vastly different levels of detail#compared to yours so you have to decide what kind of details to add and what kind of details to get rid of and AAAAGHHGHHH#also dbh characters having no bangs. most of them anyway#PLEASE bangs are the only thing that can hide how bad i am at hairlines!!!!!!!!#but at least that part is easy to learn. i can draw connor. hes the easiest dbh character to draw probably#hank seems like he'll have easier facial hair than Markus considering hes got an actual beard and also the fact that i will be a lot less#scared if making him look old because well. he is old#i mean hes only the same age as my dad but like..#he looks old. all his hair is gray. unlike my dad. only half my dads hair is gray#anyways point is im grateful for how much drawing characters that are Not Mine has improved my art but its so difficult#i need to draw my ocs...... and then I'll get back to Markus#i say that as if i haven't been drawimg my ocs all day anyways#rambling in the tags#artist
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val showed off my balloon smp piece on stream and said it's one of the most gorgeous pieces they've ever received i am genuinely going to fucking cryyyy. YUUUUUUP
#skye's ramblings#EVERYONE IN ITS CHAT WAS WAS SAYING THE MOST LOVELY THINGS 'oh this one made me CRYYY' 'ITS THAT ONE. ITS SO GOOD' GOD im gona SCREEAM. ME#they said a bunch of other smp members saw it and went back to watch the scene too like this is so surreal to me.#these people came together to make a silly little story that wrecked me and they like something i made too. thats just really cool ithink#like maybe its just because i have been struggling to find the motivation to draw for so long but. its cool to hear my art had an affect#on this many people. val n everyone in its chat was so nice. i dunno im just feeling good abt my art in a way i havent felt for a while.#if i wasnt such a neurotic prey animal i'd thank them directly. but thank you val you fucking rule
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sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.
#and also ill hit you on the head with a brick#posts that. im not going to say theyre about destiel. im not going to say that.#and im not gojng to say it because. i dont need to. you already know <3#and to be clear: its not the interpretation thats a problem here. thats the fun of shipping. its then taking what youve interpreted and then#trying to backread that onto the media itself as intentional. as intended.#dismissing the actual themes and story for evidence of a ship is the problem. u get me?#shipping brainrot is not ‘oh i think these characters would kiss for this reason’.#its ‘this show is and has always been about these characters kissing no matter how much i have to ignore about the show to make that true or#pretend is completely different than its actually presented or straight up make things up to make my ship be a part of the intended reading’#thats the brainrot. the brainrot is when u step off the train of reality.#this is not true about the best piece of art ever made Captain America and the Winter Soldier. btw. that movie IS about bucky and steve#kissing alsjfdjskdjg#(<- okay im being silly here but id like to make a real point here too. the thing about TWS is that. it is genuinely enhanced by a romantic#reading. its not *better* than a platonic one. its just different. being able to see it through that lens does make a lot of the original#movie’s ideas even more complex. case in point like: steve struggling with his dating life. because what shared life experience does he have#with other people who look his age. and the movie is. about. someone who has his shared life experiences. and his mission to get bucky back.#you can see how that lens would be beneficial to the original movie rather than fighting it to prove the ship works in opposition to the#author’s original intent.)
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i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server
#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this#i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually#now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in#you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod#and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL#tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on#because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like#whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening#wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more#i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes#im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like#two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever#i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared#i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer#am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening
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