#Im happy that she went up a bit this year though! Its getting better

[spear-gsun]

I'm proud of you, Mizuchi

[fanartlover1234]

FALLING IN LOVE

Okey guys bear with me, i recently watched Descensants 4 and im obsessed with James fucking Hook, like have you seen tne man and i had an idea where Y/n is Bridgets older sister forced to take up the duty as a future queen even though she doesnt want it and thay includes arranged marrage but she over the time falls for Hook

He really didnt mean to dump bleach all over her in their first year at Merlin academy but somehow as he is a VK it was supposed that he meant to do it.

And ever since that it was war.

And no matter how many times the girl shood him away he only seemed to translate it in his head to ' please annoy me everyday and never let me have peace'

She knew the pirate wasnt the smartest but this was something.

The girl exited her class as she placed the notebook in her bag as she heard a whistle before an all too familiar voice caught her attention from the shadows.

"Oy, princess" he said as he looked at her but she only rolled her eyes and kept walking " we are going somewhere?" He asked trailing behind her.

And thats how most days went, he annoyed her to guts to get a reaction out of her but those few days she was left alone she found herself missing him.

Few days pass and Y/n is in her room, her dark red silk night dress barely reaching above her mid upper thigh reflects in the mirror and she starts thinking it looks like Hooks jacket but quickly shakes the though from her head when she hears a knock on her door.

She goes to open it to find no other then Hook leaning on her door frame before he pushed his way in looking around her room.

It was different from what he expected.

It wasnt all pink and happy and stuffed like bridgets room.

"Sure, come in" the girl said annoyed as she closed her door leaninh against it as she watched Hook turn to her.

Her hair neatly combed amd falling along her back and framing her face, he looked down at her pj and raised used brows.

Y/n shifted to stand straight, it was clear he was at least a head taller then her without her heels.

"What do you want?" She asked crosing her arms over her chest.

"A smile for starters and then maybe" he pulled stalking over her brushing her jaw line with his hook "ill know what i want next"

Y/n pushed his hook away before looking back at the door and pointing " wait how did you, you VKs are not allowed in the part of dorms" she said as she looled back at Hook who smirked steping forward making her step back.

"Well darlin' y'know" her back hit the wal and he placed a hand next to her head and leaning down to meet her eyes " forbbiden is what makes it fun " he said before he held up his hook, her nacklace hanging there.

She had lost it two weeks ago and it was one of crown yules of Wonderland.

Y/n reached for it but hook pulled his hand away, walking to her bed and sitting down.

"Give it to me" she said walking over to him but before she could react he was up and his good hand was around her waist pulling her to her chest as his lips brushed her ear.

"Meet me outside by the big oak tree across headmasters study at this timw tomorrow, then its all yours" he said before kissing her cheeks and leaving her room.

The next day seemed to pass quickly, a bit too quickly for her liking and she found herself sitting on the bed looking in the mirror at her outfit.

Her pink her up in half up do with a black clip, black skirt brushed her upper mid thigh and the oversized t-shirt tugged into the skirt in one corner looked pretty good on her. The black high heels boots finished the look as she decided against her better judgement and sneaked out making her way to the big oak tree.

When she got there Hook was already there leaning against the tree, his signature smirk forming on his lips when he saw her make her way to him.

He pushed off from the tree and went to her.

"Follow me" he said walking past her and into the forest.

She followed him for a while untill she was met with a clear field as she stomped to Hook who sat down in the middle.

The girl squated down annoyed to ask what this was but before ahe could get words over her lips he moved hed head upward.

She looked up, her lips parted when she saw the metior shower above her like she has never seen before, she sat down in shock her eyes never leaving the sky.

"Wow" she mumbled.

"Yeah, wow" Hook spoke as he looked at the girls face, glowing as the stars raced in the sky.

Walking back they had a half pleasant talk as she had Hooks jacket coat on.

They reached her dorm and she was about to take off the jackef but he told her to keep it and left after wishinh her a good night.

She entered as he placed a hand in one of the pockets of the coat and was met with a small cold metal chain brushing her fingers.

She pulled out and her lips turned into a smile as she looked at her necklace while she walked over to her bed.

Hey babes, i was thinking of making this a small story but, have no fear there will be part two for this, but please, repost, comment and like it really helps and feel free to leave requests.

[mondaymelon]

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

[crushedsweets]

Do you have any hcs for how Clockwork and Jeff would act around each other?

yes!! ok so i think i covered their relationship a good bit on my blog (should be in my masterlist on my pinned post), but i can try to scramble more concepts rn

ok for starters theyre really mean. like 'why are you happy you look fucking ugly smiling like that' completely unwarranted. but its very much like older sibling taunting, but theyre both fighting for role of the older sibling LMAO

i can imagine nights of them at the barn, one of them sick to their stomach from the operator(or the various other infections and illnesses theyd collect) and way too ill to do anything. jeff is partial to bringing clocky a joint to ease the pain, clocky is partial to bringing jeff actual food/water to ease his. theyre def not the type to be affectionate or whatever but jeff would scramble to grab clockys long long hair if he realizes shes abt to throw up. then he'd be like 'jesus christ thats nasty'

theyll sit with an ipod or smth and go through a lot of music together too . . . just a lot of "figured youd like this song" or bringing eachother a CD they found and showing it off.

i could see clocky incorrectly thinking toby and jeff would get along, cuz theyre honestly pretty similar. so she'd get them to connect, and then it would go poorly. i think jeff and toby would TRY to kinda hide their distaste for eachother... sorta

like, toby would just be like 'hes fuckin weird' and jeff would be like 'why do you hang around such a loser' but they wouldnt be like "clocky if you so much as mention his name around me im going to go kill him" . until the nina situation unravels, in which case clockys distancing from jeff anyway

i think jeff and clocky would have a lot of convos about like...

theyre really in similar boats. both got infected with O/S syndrome, both slaughtered so many people under the effect, both feel the symptoms/trauma to this day - but they went down different paths. upon recovering from it, clocky made a life for herself, got a job, hobbies, friends, an apartment. jeff just...kept up with the violence and power trips. lives in an abandoned barn, only friends with a freak ghost kid, etc.

clocky isnt the type to beg but when she sees him years down the line, withering away, becoming worse and worse when she tried so hard to get better and encourage HIM to get better too . i could imagine some tears and pleading there. i dunno . he's kind of a lost cause, though

[littledeadpotato]

Blue period 11

I didn't think I'd be reviewing manga, and I probably won't, but this one I have to do.

(If the art doesn't have credits underneath, its by the author; Tsubasa Yamaguchi)

In case you don't know, Blue period (1) is a manga by Tsubasa Yamaguchi about Yatora Yaguchi, a highschool student, who gets inspired and finds passion for art. He wants to get into one of the best art schools in Japan, since it's one of the few school (if not the only one) that's not private.

In volume 11 tho, We're at a part where Yaguchi is in uni but needs money, so he gets a job at a community art class with kids.

(I rate comics/graphic novels/manga a bit differently. Enjoyability > actual quality. Shitty way to rate ik but who cares🤷‍♀️)

Rating: 5/5⭐

(For the God of me i cannot find who made this art, but there's a chance it's Official since I can't find any post that's not reposted and its also used for fake merch. If you know who the artist is, please let me know so I can Credit them)

Spoilers ahead!!!

What makes this volume so special? Well it's not in a school setting. The whole art uni thing is very stressful to both the reader and the characters. Since it's spring(?) break, Yaguchi doesn't have to do any art. But this is still a manga about art. But this one focuses more on one's relationship with their art and others' art. And any artist has experience with that. Alot of people hate their art, and honestly I do too.

Since I like parting things, the book has 2 parts, each is focused on one kid in the art class.

Shoya

Shoya is bored in the class. He has trouble finishing his assignments, he's mean towards his classmates (and Yaguchi) and violent. Yaguchi tries his best to make Shoya interested but it just doesn't work. One day Shoya's mother comes to pick Shoya up from the class, when she sees Shoya's painting, she says:

,,What's so great about this painting? It doesn't look like he did that good of a job to me..."

Which is, you know, Something to say to a 5 year old. Shoya is understandibly not happy about that. But one day, Yaguchi finds him playing some games while walking home. And Yaguchi finds out Shoya is really good at drawing mechs. He talks to the teacher, and Shoya can draw whatever he wants to in class! Yayyy. He also makes this football game for their exhibition. Shoya's thing is that he doesn't enjoy art because he knows what he likes. No one enjoys drawing everything.

Sae

Sae has alot of passion for art. But she has alot of other classes. Even though Sae has barely any time to play with her friends, she still paints at home. And I mean this girl loooves painting. Well until her dad points at another painting (which as far as i know, wasn't even made by a child) and says:

,,Oh, that kid's painting is really good! How about trying to do something like that?"

We're back to this point, where the kids' confidence and how they think about themselves and their art is very much connected to how other people see it.

She starts comparing herself to the other kids. Hashida (who also works there now lol) also notices her painting has changed. When he says he likes her painting, she says:

,,Thank you, Hashida-sensei! But it's not good at all. Im worse than Shikahara-san. Ahhh. Why am I so bad...? I want to get better. I've been practicing so much, too..."

AND I HAVE NEVER RELATED TO A 5 YEAR OLD MORE. Like this young girl is already at this part of making art. Me and my art teacher actually talked about this, and she said this change from having fun with art to being critical of it happens around/after the age of 10.

The kids will have an exhibition! And one day in class, they present their art to the class. When they're presenting, Shoya compliments her painting. And I'll just write down the whole presentation.

,,My painting... is bad because the subjects are small. The colours are dull, too. And the bear looks messed up. It's creepy, crappy and just awful. Why is it... that I can only make something like this? Shoya-kun went out of his way to say something nice about my work... but... he can do that because he's better than me. How nice! How nice that everyone's great at art. [...] I dont wanna do this anymore! [...] My colours are messier than Miku-chan's! I can't draw mechs like Shoya-kun! I can't make cute paintings like Yuichi-kun! I cant paint like Shikahara-san! How nice that everyone's great at art!"

And after that I took a 20sec break ;P!

As far as i know, there are 2 ways people can react to making art around others. You either envy their work and take it as a learning experience to appreciate their art. But I, someone who's about to do entrance exams into art school, cant afford to do that. Or you can just fall apart under the pressure of "everyone is better than me". And it's easy to do that when you have a goal and everyone could be your enemy. You cant appreciate their art and love art together. Because they're better than you and you have to get better. Art isn't about how much you study. Art is about how passionate you are. How much you want to make art. If you hate everything you make, is there a reason to keep doing art? For some yes. For some no.

Sae quit the art class.

Before she does, Hashida asks her to do a collab. They just paint random things. React to the other's painting. Hashida says this (I'm sorry for so many quotes but they really stuck with me srryyy):

,,I'm actually bad at making art. I love art. I love people who make art and i make art myself, but the more I get to know other people who make art... the more is makes me think I can't go as far as them. I respect people who can keep their brush moving with tears in their eyes. I think you're truly amazing for jumping into painting like you did. Even when you feel miserable or think you have no reason to praise your own work."

Which again. SAME. Back to parents, when Sae shows the painting to her dad, he tears it in the half to give half to Hashida. They stick it back together. But you know...

SOMEWHERE IN THE BOOK HASHIDA ASKS YAGUCHI TO GO TO SWITZERLAND, ITALY AND GERMANY WITH HIM AND I HOPE HE ACCEPTS CUZ I LOVE HASHIDA AND HES SO INTERESTING. PLEASEEEEEEE.

If I read this volume without the other 10, I'd probably think it was just kids and being whinny about art. But when you read through so much of the stuff these people go through just to make art. And how they struggle. When out of nowhere, its like 'I fucking hate this'. This book just keeps you think 'Why? Why? Why? Why do they do that? Why dont they just quit?'. And your relationship with your art and art overall is important. It's not like you can look past the fact that you fucking hate what you just did and hate that you're only capable of such a bad thing. Art you create is often hard to love, especially when its competitive.

But art is still art. And it's such a pity that people who would love art and creating it crumble under the pressure of others.

Be gentle and loving to yourself and your art.

Art by: https://x.com/pplaksana

[pjsk-headcanons]

i feel like whenever i have school my motivation just drains like a sink but HEY I GOT THIS DONE FAST!!! wish i could say that for new dream au designs...tracing traditional art to online is hard :(

hinomoris: hostile

-flashback to shiho online name backstory, they were pretty fine up to the point until shizuku quit being a model and decided to focus on being an idol. this was probably only a little bit after canon leo/need was SERIOUSLY over (high school, shiho pushed them away). not good mental states.

-the arguement went something like:

"im going to become an idol"

"why"

"i need to (prove myself)" (i really need to figure out shizuku in this au huh...)

"why would you need to? you shouldn't do things to just prove people wrong"

the fight escalates, shizuku makes some points about canon l/n and shiho makes some points about being a model/idol. it ends with shiho locking herself in her room.

-if they're ever in the same place, things get very tense (like dinner with your parents when you know theyre going to ask you want to do with your life)

EVENTS

design for soul and heart! - post 1st anni

character boost - emu (focus), shizuku, airi, shiho, city luka

-so um what happens is that emu sees a fashion poster. is thinking about it ALL week when she sees shizuku at school

-thinks "ohhhh that lady is really pretty maybe she'd be interested"

-she meets airi and shiho at pxl and invites them too. she didn't tell them shizuku was there though

-awkward silence between idols and glaring between sisters. however emu makes them all work together

-emu figured out the problem and was really confused (she and her sister get along really well?!!?)

and hinomoris have some sort of silent agreement to not talk about it in public

glistening snow over silent tears - pre 2nd anni

character boost: shiho (focus), tsukasa, honami, shizuku, stage MEIKO

-itsssss snowing! first snow of the year!! shiho gets happy lil memories of her and shizuku. event sad speedrun any %.

-tsukasa notices her being down during midnight calls and decides to talk to her. mental breakdown over a voice call at 2 am? thats what i call modern

-hinomori sibling relationship reveal

-feeling a bit better after the talk, shiho confesses in honami. they are friends again!

-now that i think about it shiho is by far having the most character development in mds at least.

-flashback to mds call, shizuku overheard shiho crying over the call. hmmm i wonder who those people are... CLIFFHANGER BABEY

take my hand, so our dreams fly further - post 3rd anni

character boost: shizuku (focus), shiho, rui, toya, studio rin

-shizuku decides to confront shihom maybe about the midnight calls. maybe about the fight. maybe about the wishes for earlier times. maybe about everything?

-however she doesn't know how to approach so she goes to rui. he's like "oh im not sure i can help but i think i know someone who does :3"

-toya. spoiler alert its toya because tenma and he has brothers and horrible parents and hes friends with shiho. this wasnt planned beforehand i promise

-with a bit of pondering, shizuku finally decides to do it straightforward

-the conversation is up to interpretation (i am not creative) but after that their relationship is something between canon shinonomes and canon hinomoris

MUST KEEP COMPOSING...i feel like a kanade right now (tired) but i will probably have shinonomes done in a few days. no promises for designs

(also!! update on colorfes pulls. i got ena1, kohane3??? (one sheep) akito, banner ichika, tsukasa, minori (twice), colorfes KAITO, and a saki dupe in 33k. one day colorfes shiho and sunflower akito WILL come home but hey at least i have a 4star akito card)

have a great day mod!!! you will get through it!!!

🌐 anon

.

[andromerot]

my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list

or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it

well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy

so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you

matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it

¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.

la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.

pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.

entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.

la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.

todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that

átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.

tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs

kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.

carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.

laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can

hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.

la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess

volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.

los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault

la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....

los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.

julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.

dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time

madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.

yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you

[naughtless0000]

i played and beat mouthwashing for the first time yesterday. here's how that went..

to start off, i wanna say there's MAJOR spoilers and im gonna be yapping so here we go

-

-

staring off with cool screenshots i took, just so we dont immediately jump off into the depressing yap fest

immediately said "oh boy i love playing fnaf" when i was here (i saw fanart of daisuke and it was him saying 'cmon, its just like among us, you can do this' while crawling though the vents) -

despite the implications i found this to be really fucking cool, but thats just me. and the more you think about it the more games you remember that have a scene where youre going into/coming out of a giant open mouth from the head of a character -

i still cant entirely wrap my head around the fact that swansea has this custom swan key just for him. like, haha, i get it, "swan"sea, swan key.. but where did he get it from? not the key, but the custom holder? makes you wonder how long he's had it for.

-

i couldnt find my own screenshot of him, i dont know where it went, but yimpy........ yimpy.. i have a feeling daisuke drew it, who else would it be -

-

ok, now its time for the depressing stuff

god. let me tell you about the genuine distress i felt. i had the isopropyl before it was even mentioned, so the first time i had to clear the foam to get to the medicine cabinet. i was just fucking around a little bit when i was stuck in the game (for a stupid reason might i add) so i just mixed it with mouthwash cause i was like "hey, this will make it actually better to use as real mouthwash, right?" (am i an idiot? out of game, like, am i stupid? do you understand what i was thinking though? the disinfectant? anyways..) and when it made the plain mocktail.. i was like "haha this is funny." and then it quickly became NOT FUNNY. when daisuke NEEDED IT, so i had to take the LONG ROUTE TO GET SOMETHING ELSE. AND I BLAME MYSELF FOR HIS DEATH

i know that there probably arent any different routes in the game and it was meant to happen.. but i feel like i should play it again BECAUSE COME ONNNNNN. - i got it spoiled for me that anya was pregnant when i was looking for the solution to helping her out of medical. which, by the way, i was a complete idiot during that part. all i needed to do was click on a different part of the door to continue the game, so im just stupid. you wont believe my face when i realized how dumb i was. so when she said she was pregnant i didnt have a genuine reaction to it, cause i got it spoiled. kind of the same thing for when we get to see what curly looked like before the game, but it wasnt really a spoiler to me because i had no intention of playing the game when i started seeing content for it. i was seeing fanart, and friends posting about it, but i really had no clue. so i knew of curly, and i started to recognize who daisuke was in fanart, and i knew anya but not her name, but i never saw swansea before i went onto the steam page. daisuke ended up being my favourite character.... we can all just WONDER how im FEELING NOW. technically speaking, everybody but curly does die in some way. so if you have a favourite character besides him, forget being happy- actually, scratch that. if you play mouthwashing AT ALL, FORGET BEING HAPPY. BUT ITS SO GOOD!!!! genuinely!! another 10 dollar indie game that completely ruined me!!!!!! mouthwashing is genuinely such a wonderful game, and i wonder if we could be getting another one? but i dont know how a second game would go. does curly ever get found? since he's in the cryo pod, but also (like i just saw someone say when i was looking up the word for cryo pod..) his injuries alone could end up killing him, right? maybe? he is frozen for 20 years, would that stop the bacteria from killing him? i dont know for sure. -

-

before writing this blog, i had another where i was updating as i played the game. here are a few things i said, and i'll be adding my thought now after the fact. -

I HAD EVERY RIGHT NOT TO. I NEVER WANTED TO GIVE HIM THE AXE IN THE FIRST PLACE. -

well. when you show a giant, sharp knife, its gotta be used for something other than cake. time to feast. (IM SORRY.) -

youre just an idiot. click on the door and not just the handle. -

this pretty much sums up my experience playing the game after a while (especially being a daisuke fan) -

-

anyways. two more screenshots i took

and thats pretty much it i feel like playing the game again after writing this, so maybe i'll do another post about it take this thing i made before i go

sums it up................

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas! reg kin anon here

so! i actually have another bit of positive stuff to talk about this time. do you remember i mentioned before about missing the stars because i couldnt see them anymore? well! i went to this social event after a rehearsal for a theatre group i joined and it was a treasure hunt in a cemetery and when you get to the top you can see some stars!!

its not as clear as back home, but me and this girl i met there were stood for a solid few minutes just pointing out stars and constellations to each other and it made me so happy ♡

also! back to the theatre thing: in rehearsals today i had a solo!! its a musical theatre group and im singing lead in one of our showcase songs!!! id been feeling really nervous about it for a while because everyone else is really good, but i actually feel like it went okay somehow, so yay

and, regarding my mother, ive decided ill go home at least once more before christmas. i dont have loads of spare time (nor funds for travel) but im going back in a couple of weeks, then i invited her to watch my theatre performance (and shes actually coming?? which she never has before) and then ill go back for christmas too. im staying for the full holiday period too, because ive got a couple of appointments that are easier to go to back home than here, but as much as i feel bad for thinking it, i do wish i could at least spend new years with my uni friends. ive never had the chance to enjoy it before, even just in the house, so i was sort of looking forward to spending it with friends and having fun for once. i know i might not get next new years with her though, but thats only really making me feel more guilty about not really wanting to spend it with her. ill probably end up in my bedroom for the most part anyway, so its not even like id be doing anything with my family for christmas/new years

anyway! this is supposed to be a happy ask, so happy it shall stay! also, since halloween mightve passed by the time you read this, i dressed as dorian gray, which was really fun. i had a cane and everything. most of all, it was very gender affirming (i imagine it will be; trying it on all together certainly felt great) (i dont remember if ive said before but im genderfluid, with more of a tendency towards masc-presenting) and i probably looked slay as fuck

yknow what, lets keep the good news rolling, because this feels like the sort of news you tell a parent but i dont have that sort of relationship with them, soooo. i had a class test today and it felt like it went really well, hopefully. i did end up finishing early but im feeling good about what i wrote and such. so, yay again

lots of positivity today, wow. ive been told i can be too pessimistic (realistic, in actuality though) so its odd but in a nice way to see myself focusing on good stuff for once :)

Hi!!

It makes me so happy to hear that you're doing so well! I remember how much you were struggling when you first started sending asks to me and I'm so happy to hear things are looking better for you! I'm so proud of you for your test and for everything else you've accomplished!

Please continue to update me, I'd love to hear how things go with your showcase and also I'm here if you need to vent about things at home <3

[sketchybusiness4130]

I SAID I HAD MORE AND I MENT IT. if you have no idea what im talking about, go check out my first post :3

basic idea tho is that Ford picked up and adopted a fellow dimension traveler who happens to be a unicorn durning his 30 years on the other side of the portal. Thier name is Linked Hopps, also know as just Link or Hopper

close ups and more lore shall be placed below the cut since i really went off the charts

spiderman meme, Hopper definitely picked up some habits and more from ford. she looks up to him and mimics his style

speaking of style heres a full outfit! fully equipped with a saddle bag full of goodies, a pair of glasses that probably have a shit ton of useful features. (she doesnt actually need them to see after all) straps on her back legs that are full of weapons and useful items. the uh necklace isn't supposed to be a necklace but rather part of a hood with a little clip to the corner bit.

oooo color yay, so a bit of backstory. Link here had a cracked horn. happened when she was about 5 or 6ish?(age isnt really set in stone but it happened before discovering her talent) and it makes doing painful and veryyy difficult. with the help of ford the two mange to make some enchanted rings that focuses her magic and aids the pain of doing so. its not a full fix what so ever but she can at least levitate stuff if needed. if she uses it too much the pain will get unbearable and she may pass-out. in emergencies Link has full on yoinked Ford out of danger. in fact its probably by doing exactly this that the two of them were able to get to through the portal at the same time(i will elaborate more on that with another post later)

now, let's talk about those scars, huh? link here had the joy of landing right into the perfect spot within the fallout universe to wind up suckered into new vegas' old world blues DLC. why? bc i love that series and can do whatever i want. Link's portals tend to lead her to completely random places and worlds. after getting a better handle on how her poition portals work, Link is able to somewhat reliable hop back to previous places shes been to. Oh nearly forgot, the way those special poitions work is a combination of her haywire magic, a mixture of ingredients(major changing factor on where she ends up), and a dash of her own blood.

cute family photo! probably taken after officially adopting Hopper. though i have no idea how officially they could have done it since neither of them have proper ids or their birth certificates. ijdwijwdj maybe they forged it?? yea they forged it XD

cute and silly photo of Ford holding Hopper like i hold my cats from time to time. i messed up on the anatomy for Link's lower half tho so just ignore that 🙃

this i would place as not long after the two first meeting and deciding to travel together. Ford took her on as an "apprentice" and taught her everything he could. Hopper was at max 10 or 11 years old when they discovered/got lost in the multiverse and for Funzies ill place the time of meeting at around 12 or 13. parallels and all that.

anddd lastly a Stand alone Ford pic. mostly did this one as practice but am really happy with how it came out

[frickin-sumi-from-persona-5]

i need to get p5r post-canon headcanons (some of these aren't really headcanons they're just me making my own b plots lmao) off my chest. i finished royal last night and i have so much i wanna talk about. its headcanon dump time i guess

(obviously huge spoilers for persona 5 royal)

fyi- these are all super unorganized and some of them don't make a lot of sense without the others. Sorry this is a mess lmao i just wanted to throw my thoughts out there.

also! i named my mc Ren

- akechi didn't die that's not canon. when the wish star thingy turned mona into a helicopter it did so because of ren wishing hard enough for all his friends to be safe. this extends to akechi & maruki and both of them made it out alive

- when he goes into the velvet room after grabbing maruki, ren thinks akechi geniunely did die and starts having a full on breakdown and then akechi just says something to the effect of "you never change" and ren turns around to see akechi leaning against the wall in the velvet room and ren is relieved

- meanwhile akechi is just like "well. i'm alive and i have to accept the consequences of my actions long term now. what the fuck. i hate this guy" but is secretely happy ren cared that much

(fwiw i ship ren/sumi/akechi as a poly trio but they aren't together as of the end of royal, just ren/sumi with akechi kinda third wheeling from time to time)

- after maruki's palace, he still has azathoth as his persona but decides to discontinue any further research.

- on that note, the metaverse wasn't erased. lavenza hand waved that well enough the first time. it takes a little bit for it to get back to normal though. the new path in mementos is still there and mementos just kinda changes gradually over time anyhow

- ren actually did let maruki go through with his plan originally, but lavenza was able to help him go back and make the right choice. because of this ren deeply wants to see a future where him and all his friends are alive and happy

- after the battle with maruki he begs sojiro to let him stay at leblanc and sojiro really does try but ultimately joker has to leave

- Akechi being revived after everything went to normal means he's basically homeless, ren makes sojiro reluctantly agree to let Akechi stay in the attic.

- Akechi has to work at the cafe at first but he can't make coffee for shit so Sojiro just lets him off the hook.

- Ren is heartbroken on his return to his hometown (somewhere close to but not specifically Inaba, maybe Okina?)

- Futaba and Sojiro make a good case for him to come back, and Shujin academy actually backs this up because of his performance last year (also Kawakami)

- after a few months away Ren moves back to youngen. The metaverse has kinda settled and it's back to normal, and the phantom theives resume business as usual

- im. basically just writing fanfic here lmao

- Haru and Makoto move in together to save on costs. Is this gay? time will tell

- Ryuji transfers to a different school due to the move but still hangs out with the gang

- Ann does study abroad after all, and she's sad to go but she wishes the theives luck from wherever she goes (maybe Los Angeles?)

- Haru keeping Okumura foods never happened either. She was able to mostly dissipate the company in an effort to try to distribute the wealth better. Of course, this didn't actually work completely and there are still many powerful ex-okumura foods executives out there, but Haru is happy she did her part.

- Around the time or Ren returning, the phantom theives go through a big transformation of trying to determine their values (as well as who they are).

- Ren makes Akechi stay around with the phantom theives and the entire team kinda hates him except Ren and Sumi, although eventually people start warming up to him.

- Ren convinces the Phantom Theives to let Akechi stay around because he thinks that the phantom theives of all people should believe in letting people change. They agree on the condition that they check if Akechi has a palace. He doesn't and so he stays around. He does come to geniunely regret his actions and tries and makes up for them.

- After spending YEARS not dare letting anyone see any flaws with him, Akechi becomes just kinda burnt out. He's just a pathetic little failboy now and he knows it and hates himself for it. He's not good at asking for help

- Also Akechi 100% has some kind of trauma disorder/personality disorder. I don't know too much about it but from what I know i wanna say i headcanon akechi with npd

- ren is transmasc. there's not much of an in-universe explanation that would make sense here but he's trans. he has tboy swag.

- ren is kinda fucked up but has grown used to the horrors(tm) and doesn't give a fuck anymore.

- there's no good headcanon i can make with ryuji. like he's just a guy and we love him for it

- ann absolutely has a crush on shiho and i ship them. ann thinks she's "just an ally lol" until one day it hits her and she's like. oh. i'm gay.

- yusuke is probably bi or something. you cannot tell me he doesn't like men in some capacity. actually wait maybe he's aro/ace spec. i don't even know with him i just think my man's funky.

- also yusuke is 100% autistic. i think most of the phantom theives are kinda neurodivergent in some way, but Yusuke & Futaba stand out as being the Autistics of the bunch(tm)

- Makoto wanted to be a police commissioner but kinda comes to the realisation that won't do anything so she kinda just has a crisis. Both hee and Haru spent their lives accepting oppressive systems and they're kinda just recoiling at what they'll do now.

- Futaba doesn't make any new friends in school but she's happy things are back to normal. She's in the same class as Sumire.

- Haru has no idea what to study in college and neither does Makoto. She ends up taking Psychology and Makoto ends up taking intro to law even though neither of them are sure what they want for the future.

- Akechi ultimately resigns from going to school but helps Ren & Sumi out with homework when they ask

- Sumire and Futaba get Kawakami's class as their homeroom. Futaba calls Kawakami a "milf" and it annoys Sumi. Futaba knows it annoys her and she does it on purpose.

- Sumire is trans. Kasumi isn't. Sumire looked up to her sister and wanted to be a girl so when she finally got the chance to be someone she looked up to and erase her guilt of course she took it. A big part of the reason why she didn't want to stop being Kasumi was gender dysphoria. Sumire wasn't her name prior to this I can only assume she had a deadname. Maybe she chooses Sumire to honor her sister.

- Hifumi becomes a phantom theif eventually. I've speculated about this too much and now I want it to be real.

- Akechi and Sumi have a showtime attack. I'm not sure exactly what It would entail but I can picture Akechi saying something like "I can be elegant when I want to"

- After Hereward forms, Akechi is no longer a wild card. As Akechi grows and recovers as a person, his metaverse outfit changes, and eventually it looks like something along the lines of his White Suit, but with a different color palette. The top mask part of his helmet/mask is the only part that sticks around, now my boy has his hair out and can breathe (and take off his mask dramatically like the theater kid he is)

- The Royal Trio probably become a proper trio like sometime in the early fall (after ren comes back to yongen). Akechi and Sumi are initially very jealous of the time they spend with Ren but come to realise that the time spent with the three of them is the time that matters most of all.

- The Phantom theives ultimately decide that because of the money and treasure they get from Infiltrating Mementos/Palaces, most of them don't need jobs. They spend their money cautiously so they don't like. Fuck up the economy and/or tip off law enforcement.

- Eventually members who were undecided with their lives ultimately resolve to be one of the phantom theives and just do that full time. Sumi, Yusuke, and Ann are exceptions right now, with Sumi chasing her dreams to be a Professional Gymnast. Somewhere much later down the road I think the phantom theives decide to follow these goals as a team. Sumi and Ann traveling for work could probably make a great cover for the Phantom Theives.

(although i'm not thinking about their characters beyond ren graduating high school. this is more their POV and what they aspire to do for the future)

- I imagine the phantom Theives kinda just become like Tokyo's superheroes in that they have threats come up from time to time and just kinda deal with it as necessary

- People can talk to their personas at any time, but can only summon them in the metaverse. A lot of Personas have things to say throughout the day that they make some commentary on. Most of them are fairly reliable for advice, but don't technically know any more than the person they're apart of.

- Joker is a bit of an exception to this rule, due to having more than one Persona. If he wants to talk to them he kinda has to tap into his mind and see them all. It's not particularly difficult it just requires a little bit of focus, and there's usually not much of a reason to do it.

- Also his personas manifest physically in the velvet room as well.

- At a certain point Mona just kinda comes into the velvet room too and just fucks around while joker is working his ass off to fuse the most overpowered persona

- i don't really know anything about strikers but quite frankly if i ever get around to playing it i'm gonna disregard half of it as not canon and then just take the most important story elements and also sophie and just incorporate it into my perception of persona 5

- Maruki considers teaming up with the Phantom Theives, and ultimately decides against it, although he helps them out every now and again.

- Personal favorite. Maruki was able to manipulate mementos to his will and create a whole new path, and The Phantom theives are curious in seeing if they can do the same thing. After a bit of work, they end up creating a safe room that takes on the appearance of theives den. This has the effect of the cognition believing the Phantom Theives are safe and out of the way, making it easier for them to slip by the radar.

- If Futaba is ever really busy Lavenza subs in for her and does the navigating.

It's kinda funny how canon-divergent all of this is. Because I'm normally someone who religiously sticks to canon and doesn't like it when fanworks stray too far from the established canon. That said, Persona 5's ending felt kinda sad and I want some copium. not me casually rewriting their reality in my mind the day after beating dr maruki

anyhow now i gotta play strikers :3

[harrysrealgf]

CANT DO ANYTHING

summary: harry applies to his dream job and they reject him.

—————————🌷🌷🌷—————————

“No- J-Jacob, no. I dont have time f’this right now. I have a very serious interview to attend to so ill call y’later.” Harry hung up the phone with some annoying co-worker.

“M’so sorry ‘bout that. Where were we?”

“I've seen enough.” The lady said.

“W-wait,” He said briefly. “Did I get the job?”

“Unfortunately, you did not. You did not fulfill any of the requirements, and considering the way you just talked on the phone, I think we’re done here.” The lady grabbed all of her stuff ready to leave for the day.

“But,” He sighed. “I went to school f’this.”

“Im sorry Mr. Styles… But until you get every single requirement, we can't have you working with us.”

“But I’ve seen the requirements, and for one of them, I have asthma and physically, I cannot do it.”

“Then I guess I won't be seeing you around Mr. Styles.”

“So what? Did I just waste 2 years of my life going to a school for no reason?”

“Im afraid so Sir.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed under his breath and grabbed his stuff and walked out.

Harry was beyond mad. He told Y/n that he was going to get this job no matter what it takes and now that he physically cannot get it, he doesn't know what he's gonna tell her.

The drive home was horrible. He couldn’t help but think about what Y/n was going to say to him, how disappointed she was going to be.

He finally got home and walked through the front door. It was about 9 P.M by now.

“y/n?” He called out her name

“I'm in here hon.” She called from the bathroom.

“Hey baby.” He smiled and she dropped her razor from shaving her legs and gave him a hug.

“So how did it go? Did you get the job?” She smiled. She would still love him whether he got it or not, she liked his other job better anyways

“Well, no… but please don’t be mad.”

“Cmon H, I can’t believe-“

“I know! Y’disappointed, I get it.” He rolled his eyes and looked away from her.

“No. Actually, I was going to say I can’t believe you think i’d care if you got the job or not.” She chuckled. “Are you okay though? I know you really wanted that job, and you know im happy if you’re happy.” She smiled.

“No m’fine. It was just my dream job but, the ladies in there were awfully rude so, I'd rather not work there anyways. But m’happy honey. Y’don’t need to worry about that. M’happy whenever m’with you.” He tucked her hair behind her ear.

Maybe he was lying, just a little bit. He was pissed he didn’t get the job, like really pissed. But he wouldn’t care if Y/n didn’t care. Or would he?

“I love you, H.” She beamed

“I love y’ more bunny.”

—————————🌷🌷🌷—————————

The next day the fumes were hitting him. He was getting more mad and mad the more he thought about it.

Just him doing the simplest things would blow something in him. Whether he was washing the dishes or doing laundry, etc. He just seemed like he couldnt do anything.

So he was doing the dishes, just washing one plate and he just could not do it.

“Fuck!” He threw the plate down and it shattered. “Why can't I do anything?” He asked to himself quietly holding in tears.

Y/n heard it from upstairs after getting ready because they were supposed to have guests.

“H? You okay?” She asked running down the stairs with a necklace in her hand.

“M’fine.” He said grabbing the broom and dustpan.

“Wh-what happened?” She took one good look at his face. “Are you crying?” Her heart broke. She hated catching a glimpse of Harry this way. She doesn’t like him sad at all.

“If y’not gonna help clean up out here then get out of my way.” He said sternly not even looking directly close to her.

“No H. C’mere.” He finally looked up at her with teary eyes. Her heart broke even more.

“Hon…” She walked up to him and hugged him.

“Im so sorry bunny. Everything is just going wrong.” He said giving her the biggest hug ever.

“No its okay. Some heartbreaking stuff just happened to you and it's okay to feel this way.” She hated when he got like this. But she loved comforting him. “Look at me.” She says sweetly. He looks down at her because the height difference is insane.

“I love you, okay? And I don’t like seeing you all sad, so please promise me you’ll talk to me if you feel a certain way. I'm certainly not a therapist, but I can at least try.” She smiles and kisses him.

“Y’The best person I could ever ask for.” He kisses her again.

“We can cancel the dinner and not have anyone come here and just watch a movie. And after the movie, I can help you clean. If you want to, of course. Do you wanna do that?” She would do anything to have her Harry happy again.

“If it's not t’much trouble.” He loves when she takes care of him like this

“Then go sit on the couch and pick out a movie.” She smiles grabbing her phone.

“I love y’honey.”

“I love you too, H.”

[one-abuse-survivor]

im recovering, slowly but its happening, snd its weird. i feel my emotions a lot stronger now, its been around 6 months since i left my parents' house and some days are great, i feel stronger and way more confident than i ever did there, i have an amazing job and i just love life. but there are days where everything is just too much, like today. every part of me hurts on the inside and im just tired. its like my heart aches and my chest has an emotional pain inside of it. my grandad died 4 years ago almost, and i feel like im finally getting the chance to grieve him. every day i miss him more and more and i just want him back. it feels like he died yesterday. my nanan died just over a year ago and i feel like im just processing shes gone. im grieving my grandparents, my parents(who they used to be before they abused me), and my (practically nonexistent) childhood all at once and it just hurts inside. its a hurt that makes me feel alive but i just want it to stop and leave me alone. im hoping this is a normal/regular thing people like me go through, and im also hoping it gets better soon. i know it wont in the near future, i feel all the memories coming back some days and i can only process one or two at a time, and it sometimes frustrates me because i want to get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off, but i just cant, and it has to be done step by step. i just miss my grandparents. a lot. im crying a lot more lately too, just feeling my emotions so much stronger since ive started to truly process my trauma. do they stay this strong or settle down? im triggered pretty easily, which, in time, i hope stops happening so easily. i know recovery is a hard road but im thankful and very grateful that i got the chance to start it so early in life. im 19, moved out at 18, and its a bit hard, just so thankful i have a good therapist 😂 sometimes i just get so angry at everything and want to just hurt myself to make the pain stop, or just feel like i do today, slow and tired and achy. i get the rare amazingly happy day, and make sure i enjoy it, dw hahah but idk i just wanted to vent/say this in hopes of hearing that other people are going through this too, and that im not alone

Hey, nonnie. I'm so glad to hear you're away from your parents and recovering from the abuse and trauma you endured. That's amazing, I'm really happy for you ❤️

Yes, in my experience, it is normal to experience these sort of shifts inside you, especially during the first few years of recovery. I personally also went through phases where I would cry almost daily, phases where my emotions seemed out of control, or where I randomly felt immense grief/anger/sadness/disgust. And I can tell you that, in my case, with the help of time and therapy, the bad days, which used to be frequent and leave me exhausted, have become rare and much more manageable. Now, 5 years into recovery, I can have a bad trauma moment (hell, I can even run into my mother) and still enjoy the rest of my day. And my emotions have become much more stable, too. I rarely feel like I'm not in control of them.

Obviously, not everything is easy or perfect. I still live with PTSD, and there's plenty of things I still need to keep working on, like being vulnerable and trusting others, but... The good days have definitely become the norm over time, instead of the exception. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a proper emotional flashback or ugly-cried from how overwhelmed I felt (knocking on wood, haha).

So, yes, nonnie, it does get better with time. Recovery isn't linear—I'm sure you've heard that already—but it does get better. Though there may be ups and downs, and you might go through completely unexpected lows as you process all your emotions, the tendency will be to move upwards, and, if you're anything like me, one day you'll wake up and realise you can't even remember the last time you ugly-cried or felt like the world was ending. You'll just be living your life.

You're doing amazingly! There might still be bad days ahead of you, but there are countless good days to come, too.

I hope you can find ways to safely express your anger with the help of your therapist, and I hope you have the space and tools to process some of your grief and trauma memories as they resurface.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

Oh, and if anyone else wants to reassure anon that they're not alone, feel free to do so!

[todayisafridaynight]

I have gotten two of my friends interested in Tsuma just by spamming GIFs so can confirm the Cutest Old Man In Media strategy has a high success rate... ON THAT NOTE. Very strong list of cuties... I Must Agree... Ikegami may be At Least A Little heinous but can't argue with that reasoning...

AND OK LISTEN. Some things I tell you are meant to be locked away in the vault never to be spoken of again... Tsutsumi's retirement is one of those... [just kidding it's fine LMAO he can do whatever makes him happy But I Will Cry I'm Sorry WE GET LIKE ONE MAINLINE GAME EVERY FOUR YEARS WHAT IF JO NEVER COMES BACK AAAA] BUT YES. YEAH. Very curious how he might do as a director...

DJKLGHJKLSDHLKS NO THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING because I will generally just mention something in passing without actually recommending it but you'll go for it anyway😭😭😭NOT COMPLAINING. NOT COMPLAINING IN THE SLIGHTEST you have my deepest gratitude after A Lifetime of having my recommendations fall through and not being able to talk about stuff I'm into I cannot say this enough 😭😭😭😭😭but of course, definitely checking out the movie when I can :] I wish I could've watched before responding but busy day... oh well...

Speaking of! Kagerou Touge here and Tonbi here. They're both a bit less than three hours and split into two parts sooooo up to you <3 I don't remember enough about Tonbi to summarize it any better than what's on the page and It Is Best I Leave Kagerou A Surprise From Start To Finish. Bali Big Brother has been a bitch for years though unfortunately😩no subs may or may not be better than the machine-translated subs I had to work with

AGREED ON EVERYTHING ABOUT ATR NO NOTES NO ADDITIONS... YOU GET ME... KUROMI/MY MELODY-CORE SO REAL I felt like stopping and pointing whenever you could see their charms😭😭😭big fan... huge even... also the visual direction was Overall really good it is such a pretty anime and goes So Hard with the rain motif... SPEAKING OF THE FINALE WHICH I LOVED FOR THOSE SAME REASONS AS WELL Akira imagining breaking into a run to kiss Kondo on the cheek in the "date" ep but when she actually does it in real life it's a hug... as friends... broooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭

can't believe you're just hoarding keisuke gifs from me 😭 yes ive seen all of the show but STILL BUT REGARDLESS I'M GLAD YOU GOT OTHERS ON BOARD truly love this show a lot for keisuke... even beyond him tho not only is the cast really lovely but again i really love where the story went and how it all culminated in its last episodes..

and LISTEN Yes Ikegami Is A Lil Rank. Comes With Being A Yakuza but i do not have many options out of the charas ive seen tsutsumi play 😔 we been through this ttm is either very heinous or very serious in his films.... have to be careful..... plus i still think him smiling so much during the filming of the movie was cute, he's just a little silly to me 😔

but if tsutsumi isn't due to come back cause of his career, i gotta be the one to rip the bandaid off an assume jo prob won't return after this game. which either means 1.) joins the graveyard of tsutsumi charas 2.) He Somehow Gets Out Just Fine ???? And Just Does His Own Thing ???? Alone ???? either way... very intrigued to see what LaD8 has in store with that in mind...

there's some evil parasite in my brain that makes me immensely interested in things- like i accidentally went down a rabbit hole on The Superman Curse after someone made an aside comment about the latest flash movie DO NOT mention things to me because i will investigate it thoroughly... AND IM GLAD I DO CAUSE I FIND GEMS LIKE THESE !!!!!!!!! with that said i hope you enjoy the movie if you get to it !! (❁´◡`❁)

AND SPEAKING OF EPIC THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! i wouldn't mind with auto-generated subs tbh.... i've worked with less honestly BUT for now i'll see to watchin these two tonight ||ヽ(*￣▽￣*)ノミ|Ю

I REALLY LOVED THE RAIN THEME OF AtR. like Yeah That's On The Label BUT STILL it really fit the title so well... AND YAYA THE PARALLEL IN THE DATE EP FANTASY VS THE FINAL EP REALITY.... cinema.. LITERAL cinema i LOVE so so much the direction the anime went with their relationship... i said it enough but it's just so refreshing and great to see...

[slightdisconnects]

OO - SUMIN, Slom

coming down from 15mg i was feeling a lil sad and lonely lol. i could feel the aura of bliss slowly fading away... i was wanting to curl with with a partner under a cozy blanket. while watching a movie they picked or watching them play their favorite game. they would ramble about the lore of the game or bits about their day. id sip on something sweet and warm and snacking on something. instead im alone in my cold apartment.

recently my friend married his friend making all my friends married or in long term relationships other than 1 person but they are more of a sometimes friend than an actual friend. i dont think of myself as a forever alone crying rage comic or usually too sad about it other than random low looow low points. i dont think about being lonely until i think of my friends getting married and going to the wedding alone. i also feel like all my friends will stop talking to me since now they are closer to having babies and moving away though its happened to some of them the ones that matter wont.

i dont even know if i want to get with someone because i want a romantic relationship or if i need more friends. i have 2 that i hang out with irl the rest are work coworkers. i cant tell i just missing having friends/group of friends to do stuff with like i did as a kid. really i never got the fun friend group that i wanted. i wanted my friends to have more overlapping interests with (anime, k/jpop, video games, crafting) and while i do have friends who like similar interests they are different enough. like for gaming i like sims and more "girly" games while they like fps or whatever. not saying mine is better but its suchs not being able to talk about similar games other than the one or so we both have played years ago. but i also do want to cuddle and hold hands and do coupley things. i also feel since i have so few friends/no relationship experience i get "too attached"/"closer" than i realize and more one sided. getting jealous of dumbshit that is like elementary level shit.

also both finding comfort and disgust with my "things". i love doing retail therapy, but then i see the boxes and trash pile up and feel bad about it. the earth doesnt need more garbage, i dont need to be wasting money on dumbshit, and so on. i feel that if i stopped buying shit the earth would be saved when thats not how it would work at all. i do find comfort with my collections or having cute things. but i also question if i actually like the stuff or only like it since my friends like it, or since its popular, or since its not popular, etc. but also since i dont have as many friends to hang irl i find "friends" in my things more like hobbies are my friends. "i get to spend time with "crochet" and we made a scarf" or "i hung out with "video game" and we explored an island". circling back to "not knowing if i like something". i get this feeling a lot and second guess if i actually like anything despite i clearly enjoy it. i think part of it becoming a phase and regret spending the money on it when it could have went to something else important.

really she is like the fear paralysis i get when thinking of what ifs and not having the correct answer or the "correct" "answer" is way too extreme. shes not always tired depressed tho. shes always tired, but can be tired happy or tired and angry and so on. shes also bother very neutral (flat face, chill, slower(motionwise), relaxed state), but can be very intense (emotionwise). i feel outside front =\= inside emotion very much masking. both can be the mask coming back on and coming off as a breaking point.

i say she has she both feels like a sona but also her own character. one i can use to help work through stuff. but her name is val short for valerie! she goes by both, but enjoys "val" since it feels like a nickname and she matters to that person. she is 20-30 years old, but can regress to her 14-16 year self(regress as in kicking up habits from that era(staying up late, spending a lot of time online, nostalgic media, etc). she both feels shes lost in life, but also heading in the right direction and the good part is coming soon, but also she made the worst mistake and its only going to be worse and she should kill herself in 5 years if shes still in the spot.

i still dont fully know or understand her, but :3 also, the bear ears and tail are both important and not at all. i think partly shes like my bear sona and the other bear girl id doodle from time to time. she also is like a bear sleeping a lot, size(i know she isnt drawn too well here, but she is supposed to be plus sized), and probs more im not thinking of ^q^ she also has angel wings wings and a halo (glowing) from time to time.

[emanonyourstruly]

my ex is in my class. jumpscare.

ok so just to preface, i am over my ex boyfriend and i would never ever ever date him again. after all, i am in love with a woman who i know inside and out and she knows me.

my ex did me dirty and i never got my revenge on him so maybe that is why i feel so much towards him. none of that love or respect but all of the rage and anxiety. i hate to see him still thriving in college because how dare he be in the same class as i?

i believe i should do some reflecting and forgiving in 2025. how do i act around him though when i openly despise the guy? A said the best way to do it is to be prfessional. what is professional? hi and hello? its too late for that i already called him out on twitter for having a small penis and a donkey smile. do i feel bad? no i think it was a reasonable crashout. i did think the best option was to ignore he existed but somehow thats a bit more embrarssing than to be professional. mixing a bit of both doesnt seem like such a bad idea.

basically, i have a class with my friend and today our very first class of the semester was on zoom because of my professor has pnemonia. i like to participate in class because why not i have free will and im trying to practice non-cringe. later on during questions, he spoke up and asked a question and i had to stop what i was doing and my friend and i texted each other jumpscare at the same time. anyway i was wondering if i should ever participate again.

should i have told L that I saw my ex in class? i didnt want to because i want her to be there and i only want to focus on her. just a background, L agreed to go to class with me when she recovers from her cold. I really just want her present there and if i tell her that my ex is there, she might think its like awkwards idk. then again, she gives me good healing advice. she went through something similar so the best way to go about this is for her to figure it out herself since its not that big of a deal.

to forgive him i must realize that when me and him were together i wasnt really giving him the love he wanted. he was never an option for me because i like girls. what did i feel for him when we were together? i wanted stability? someone to hold onto? all i know was in the end i moved on at lightning speed too. what made me so angry was the fact that he was cheating on me within the relationship when it would have made more sense to break up with me. instead, he fooled me and pretended to love me until i ultimately broke up with him on my own. it was all for the best and i honestly want to thank him for being such an asshole because if he wasnt, i wouldnt have found my amazing girlfriend and i would have never experienced all of 2024. crashout year fr. ugh. i wish i was wiser.

at the end of the day, i am 21 and i have far greater things to worry about like C and L being in my class and getting straight As. I might not go into the field I'm studying for but it would make me happy to see that hard work pays off. I also need to recover from this awful cold so that I could make youtube videos and edit them on my new macbook(i am so insanely broke now lol). how wonderful it is to be alive!

I cant wait to make more friends so that we could go to bars in detroit and drink fancy drinks. also, i need a better job cuz this aint gonna work honey. moving out is one of my goals for this year!

toodles my noodles <3