#Im always taking care of my siblings
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this household would be falling apart if it werent for me but does anyone give a fuck. Nope
#squeaking#Im always taking care of my siblings#And im always doing everyone elses chores#And im always supposed to be responsible#I organize shit with my extracurriculars i organize meeting my friends#I buy my own food even thoufh i have very little money because im trying not to be a leech#But all i get all day is “you suck and youve never done anything to contribute and you shouldnt have been born”#negative
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I am also the youngest but I am the favorite (as the one who has never gone to prison it’s not hard lmao) and I feel Pietro vibes hard but I think it’s more of “being a little fucking gremlin” that gives youngest vibes to me.
Also say the word and I’ll fight your brother for you. You’re awesome and deserve good things.
yk in retrospect any time ive hung out with people and ive been A Little Shit and i tell them im the youngest in my family they always say 'i can tell' so i think youre onto something
#snap chats#like kayla had this friend and when the three of us would hang out id be. A Menace as per usual#and one day she was just like 'do you have older siblings' and when i was like Yeah Three she was like 'that explains a lot'#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAAAAAN leave me alone ... im sorry im so funny and charming and witty ... i stole those traits from my sisters#ALSO DONT BEEF WITH MY BRO LMAO PLEASE he's the last person who deserves anything bad to happen to him i promise#theres no one in the world more deserving of good things than him i cannot stress this enough he was just being funny#i always joke about how our mom hates me so floor was open to the joke gejGELKJGELAK it was funny too. no harm done#if we should fight anyone its my mom .... why would i fight my brother when we have to deal with her together right ....#anyway congrats on not going to prison anon !!!!!! keep it up 👍#oh yeah hi i meant to be on more today but even with school over for now i still had some stuff to take care of today#and then i got tomorrow ....... busy bee i am ....#next week Officially i should be in I Can Kinda Breathe territory. i still have work but at least its just comm work and not school
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no offence but if you don’t have siblings you shouldn’t speak on sibling relationships in media
#like shit is COMPLICATED#factors like age gender treatment from parents heavily impact sibling relationships#like there’s a massive difference between two brothers close in age and a sister and brother with a ten year age gap#and I just see so many bad takes about siblings in media from very obvious only children#ppl talk so much on louclaud cuz they haven’t experience the large age gap sister brother dynamic#which as someone who has that relationship with my older brother (im afab) louclaud reminds me sooooooooo much of our relationship#and ppl just drag their relationship through the mud cuz they just haven’t experienced the difficult intimacy between siblings#and also the expectation that siblings on screen have to always caring and loving towards their siblings for them to have a certified#‘healthy relationship’ and if theyre even a bit bitchy towards each other it’s super toxic#like it’s not a crime to not be emotionally invested in your siblings academic career#its actually super emotionally taxing and unhealthy#in analysis ppl place so much focus on the siblings rather than the literal ADULTS#THE PARENTS#THE PPL ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE#siblings shouldn’t ever be responsible for the welfare of their siblings#if the parent is present and able to take responsibility
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man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??
#at least at home we have people competent enough to not flush wet wipes and tampons down the toilet#let alone FOOD???#and we don't leave our dishes out for so long by the sink that they start to RUST#like ok my lil brothers make a mess sometimes and accidentally shat on the floor a few times but at least they're fucking children why tf#should i deal with shit water because of your incompetence#and yknow i can deal with noise. im the noisiest at night at home b/c i always go shower late but im not fucking SCREECHING and chatting#so loudly you'd think i was at a concert or some shit#and this bitch?? can't comprehend i just want to not have crumbs all over the couch???#like girl. how did this become a slight against you. why would i ask you to keep the couch clean b/c you slept there once or twice#BITCH I CLEANED THE COUCH COVER ON MY OWN DIME *BECAUSE* I KNEW YOU MIGHT SLEEP THERE AGAIN & WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN FOR YOU#YOU NOT ONLY INSULT ME BUT ENTIRELY MISCONSTRUE MY KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIRTY B/C YOU SLEPT THERE???#you can't make this shit up i hate having roommates holy hell#only slightly made up for by the fact i get a room to myself these days#the other one smells like weed all the time and the other other one doesnt wash her hands properly after using the toilet + keeps her dishe#out by the sink + doesn't pick her hair up#also i'm the youngest so that's just even sadder#i was also the youngest last year and bitch. you have no idea#this is what being the eldest sibling does to a mf#not really related but they made the ugliest doormat ever i wish i had been there to stop them from that atrocity#and why do they not take their shoes off. girl i mop the floors like every 2 weeks#it's fucking clean trust me just take them off bitch#am i being holier than thou? probably but fucking DESERVED#i can't be taking care of people two years older than me like this. yall have too much fucking drama
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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Yknow maybe it’s not a good thing to have kids with a ten year+ difference between them.
#vent#just. a lot of realizing stuff that has been gnawing at my brain for a while#for those who dont know all kf my siblings are like over 19 years older than i am#which at face value isn’t inherently the issue#but it starts digging in that out of all of my sisters#im the odd one out#because im the youngest#and it always felt like they were less my sisters and more extra parents#treating me more like one of their own children than their sister#and at first it didn’t bother me/i didn’t care enough to be bothered#but now its just#im 21. i wanna be apart of the in group#i wanna get to relate to my sisters because now im an adult and im on their level#but im still not#im still just this weird awkward little girl#and its frustrating#knowing that they dont take me seriously#that im not#idk sister enough because i was born much later than they were#and my dad being always irritated by the fact that he has to come pick me up from college#and how he never acts this way if we go visit the girls (same amount of travel time)#doesnt help the alienating feeling at all lmao#i think the straw that broke me was the fact that they all have a groupchat#my dad and my three sisters#but never was I included or even asked about it#idk. maybe im thinking too hard about this but its just like#i want to belong. what do i need to do to belong.#what is wrong with me that I can’t be seen as an equal as their sister too#its#hard
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do you guys ever have nightmares about getting a fish tank only for the fish to die within the day you get it due to some really horrible and also easy to avoid errors?
#fishkeeping brain rot#literally i want a betta so badly#but im so scared i won't take care of it properly and it will die almost instantly#even if i follow everything correctly including tank set up and cycling and filtration and heating#probably bc childhood me had fish and couldn't take care of them properly#+ lack of parental supervision ++ living in a country with rlly bad animal welfare#like once as a kid i won a goldfish at a carnival thing#and took it home#and my siblings used to have fish and would always do water changes with bottled water (which wasn't chlorinated) and they wouldn't die#then my dad got pissed and said tap water was perfectly fine for animals (our tap water wasn't considered safe for human consumption btw)#and i believed him and used that#cuz i literally got the fish in a bag and used an old tank we had at home#filled it with tap water and acclimated the fish#and yeah it was dead the next morning#also he made me start giving tap water instead of bottled water to my pet hamster and then it later died of cancer#and im so convinced the tap water might have had carcinogens in it#bc it definitely had heavy metals and coal-associated waste in it#anyways goofy tags rant is done#fishkeeping#fishblr
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#ive already been stressing and worrying so much over the college entrance exams#school is already so tiring and takes so much from me and i have to study for something else too that i should prioritize as much#i keep worrying that i wont make it. theres so much things to study and half of them i forgot and the other half ive never learned before#and if i want to go to this college with free tuition i have to study extra hard#two of my cousins got accepted there. but it was during the pandemic and the college only looked at their grades. there wasnt a test#and everyone expects me to get in too. because i always get good grades. they dont worry about me#but im worrying so hard and i need help#and my mom who always helped me with school growing up. she told me i really wont get in if i keep on being like this#she thinks i dont care about it and so she scolded me and reaffirms every doubtful thought ive been having#and i dont have an older sibling to ask advice from. most of my friends make me feel awful when i talk about my doubts of my future#and its just so hard and im so scared#and i dont know what to do i never know what to do and everyone beats me up for that but i dont know anything#and im so scared
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No because actually I won't shut up about the way they made Raphael power hungry in season 6 when there was a very easy parallel to be made between her and Dean like it is crazy. Raphael wants the world to end because she believes after it would create paradise for her family. The weight of struggling to run the universe alongside Michael without any guidance has crushed her. She wants to open the cage to start the apocalypse but she also could just want Michael back. They were all each other had for YEARS AND YEARS. Especially when before season 6 it seemed most angels reported to Michael or directly worked under him specifically which makes sense he's the Viceroy of Heaven so he is probably mostly the one running it. It's kinda implied after Gods disappearance Raphael withdrew so when Michael was cast into the cage she not only had to deal with the grief of losing Michael to Hell but also now had to run all of Heaven BY HERSELF. Parallel this to Dean having lost Sam now lives an applepie life, a family, Sunday barbecues. All of that only for it to get ripped out from under him when he discovers not only is Sam back, but hes not even fully Sam. Sams still stuck down in the cage eternally tormented by Lucifer himself. They both could've wanted their brothers back but instead we got "Raphael is a traditionalist" Like fuck off, no she is not. What fucking angel would ever say "God is dead". She was interesting BECAUSE SHE WAS SO DIFFERENT TO ANYTHING WE HAD SEEN BEFORE. Can you imagine if Raphael had gone to Dean and told him they wanted the very same thing? That she would not only get Sams soul but heal it herself? The Holy Healer in all of Gods creation should absolutely be able to heal a soul don't tell me she can't. A fallen angel working with the king of hell vs the righteous man working with the healer no more it would've been hype
#this post is rambling but im still sick as hell#you guys get what i mean#ill come back to this later but that line pisses me off so much#“Raphael is a traditionalist” LIKE WHAT#also maybe we could work on how dean sees castiels siblings#its always kinda bothered me he doesnt seem to think of the other angels as castiels actual family#which like i know the longer the series goes on the less they care about that but ykw i do#the supernatural that exists in my head takes the phrase#this show is about family and family is hell#very seriously#Raphael in the beginning honestly reminded me more of Au!Michael than anything#it think it wouldve been so interesting because dean DOES NOT care about heaven he doesnt care who wins#he has no care for the consequences this would bring#couldve been great#raphael spn#dean winchester
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you know it's bad when you hit the 30 tag limit
#like shut up i wasn't done#i feel so unbearably hurt and betrayed like how can i be SO. unimportant to him so less of a priority that he's literally organising his#desk instead of talking to me taking five mins to talk to an agent book a ticket in tatkal#i told him i had to be back by 20 even before coming here on like 5th#and ive been reminding hin this everyday since after diwali#still he just. doesn't care?#and im his daughter? am i his daughter? does it even mean anything?????#ive never felt more alienated from my family than today#isn't it sad i don't even expect anything from mom all she does is tries to lighten the mood by making jokes#im so sick of her even the sight of her her voice makes me want to shout at her#i don't do it ofc but still#everyone is so selfish she's so selfish too she's always complaining about how i don't love her how i don't give her a chance#but that she'll stay away from all important thinhs that actually matter to me like what's the point of having a mother then??? i have my#siblings to listen to me i have my friends you i need u to be an adult and fucking help me in real terms#nvmind that path is just hopeless#anyway in tired of my small fucking life and my same small fucking problems and my own fucking self#everything would be okay if i just studied a little bit harder#idk ive been practicing saying it out loud that i can't study more than tui and after seven times i can say it out loud now#without crying or my voice watering#so hopefully it will go well#tho in my experience i never actually get to sya the stuff i practice to say to him because he dominates the convo so early so fast im#left speechless and shocked and on the verge of tears AGAUN#it's fine im calm now#but after crying headache ugh i did not miss u at all going back to storing all breakdowns in a bottle
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#im very very against crying because it just makes my head hurt and my face ugly#but because im so against crying i havent been able to sleep in months because#i keep having dreams of myself violently sobbing but i have to be super chill about everything#im not allowed to cry im the only one who doesnt cry thats the value i offer to my dying brother#is that im the only person not visibly mourning him yet#i almost cried at the doctor because they asked me how many siblings i had#its so fucking stupid i know#and i feel so bad like i abandoned him but he was slipping farther and farther every day it was horrible having to arrange hospice for him#then he agreed to the third surgery he never wanted to have but insurance didnt cover it#but 3 days later the surgeon did it out of pocket and now hes on new chemo but im still not with him#i ran away and gave my room to his mother so she could be with her dying son and i could catch a break#but it doesnt feel like a break im still constantly on the verge of tears and even though he chose to spend his last months with me#i chose to high tail it to another state because i couldnt stand the sight of him#he wouldnt let me take care of him anyways because im his baby sister 19 years younger than him and its a pride/shame thing i get it#whatever im done now i will always have video games
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i will never forget u two <3
#tumblr wont let me reply to anyone on my posts but i wanna say thank you to the people who replied to it#skylo (the smaller one) passed away in 2021 and putting lupus down on monday is just so hard#like these are my BABIES you know they were my first real childhood pets#skylo was 13 when she passed and lupus is 15! they got so old especially for dalmations snd they had wonderful lives#they were so sweet and so caring with all my siblings as they grew from babies to toddlers to now#ive got these pictures of my youngest sister just hanging off both of their necks and climbing them#and they were always so wonderful with them#one of my sisters played connect the dots of my lupus once and it took AGES to get all the pen off him#skylo once knocked a fence panel out with her forehead because she ran so fast for a pigeon and didnt stop in time#they were each other’s best friends#and skylo would always sprawl out and take all the space so lupus had to curl up in a little ball#i remember when this started getting bad for me and i would stay home from school#when i got the house to myself or really late at night when i couldnt sleep i would let the dogs up on the sofa#even though they were never allowed on there#and i would sit in the middle witb each on one side both their heads on my lap#or i would lay on the sofa in an s shape and one would sit behind my legs and one would sit in front of my chest#god im gonna miss them both so fucking much like i grew up with these dogs#losing skylo was so hard#im gonna cry so so much#but we’re gonna take him on a walk in the woods or in the river#and we’re gonna get him pigs ears because those are his favourite treat#and im gonna sit with him all day when i go back home on sunday#and hes gonna know he is so loved and treasured just like skylo knew
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Skypiea time
Robin saying that because I know she only got on a ship to then leave it...
Nami sees Conis and gets sanji out of there so SHE can talk to her akdhksajka not a single second lost
Hello my favourite panel of nami maybe ever
Sillies...
CHOPPER YOU ARE THE CUTEST
Robin throws this guy off a cliff and to make just to make sure she breaks his neck too akdjsksk who is doing it like her???
OMG ACE!!!! IT IS TIME!!!!
#luffy being jealous of nami handling the waver.... sibling behaviour#so many robin chopper moments my god... and zoro still mistrusting here... the coparenting of chopper is just beggining#already needing a ship carpenter damn..... franky i miss you#robin saying to nami she is brave for jumping off the ship and then telling chopper to please be careful.... yeah.... 🥺#luffy saying that they will fall off the island if they take the wrong door and they immediately fall qldjsonwlssls#and luffy just says that was all usopp! we failed! and it is not shown but i know he is smiling#i have gotten used to seeing luffy with his shirt open and the x scar i got surprised when i realized he doesnt have it yet.... oof#the priests having “mantra” aka haki is so op for the second island like damn.. and they got BEAT.... losers#the city of gold aka vearth aka part of jaya went into the sky 400 years ago ✍️✍️#robin wanting to stop the campfire so they dont give away their position... she doesn't need to hide anymore!!! party time#life's 36 agonies... zoro is so deep when he wants to... also first pondo hou attack... why against thus random man tho akdjsksl#shandora fell 800 years ago ✍️✍️#laki.... and wiper ... this hit so much harder in the show tho.... my bad... maybe they put some flashbacks in here instead of wherever els#wait wait.... shandia fell 800 years ago when the world gov was formed and robin just found a poneglyph that says they went to wat with the#enemy... so the shandians were enemies to the world gov i am sure of it... like the d clan and probably the ryugu kingdom and wano too#this shit is so interesting like there must be a reason roger came there last and with oden to read the poneglyphs AND LEAVE A MESSAGE#having robin and zoro fighting enel right now is so good man.... zoro learning to trust her since he has issues with her since the start...#i dont think there has been a villain that has been more scary than enel... they were terrified about his powers... apart from sabaody#never getting over nami being the one to witness the horrors this arc and then volunteering to go woth enel.. paralel to her with arlong to#where did conis get a bazooka 😭😭 i mean slay wait why does she want to off herself by proxy of enel... they hated jesus too conis its okay#ace wearing red in the cover story.... idk where im going with this it is his color... not taking luffys yellow with him for the search?#SANJI HOLDING USOPPS HAND SLEEPING IS ALSO ANIME ONLY??? AJDJAJAK NOOOOOO they keep putting in the homoeroticism#usopp and nami fighting enel is so funny this is something else.... hag reunion 🫂 hag struggle 🫂 and sanji stepping in at the end... 👌🏻#the girl they are about to sacrifice looks like laki and she is karugaras daughter and then wyper is his descendant.... i see#oh here starts the love story central to the story.... truly i forgot karugara had a wife and a child... i see why#WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY FOUR CORNERS OF THE WORLD?? KARUGARA EXPLAIN#christ.... just the pages of textless panels about karugara and noland having fun together.... its enough to make a grown (wo)man cry#noland just laying on his side on a rock thinking about karugara you cant make this shit up#“the bell will always sound for you” while crying and sobbing.... are you kidding me... and then they can't come back 😭😭😭😭#reading one piece
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#ngl losing belief that this hospital can help meeee lmfao#also i am incredibly bored and understimulated today so i am now incredibly depressed#love this life l o l#too emotionally exhausted to do any basic life/health errands#maybe if i stare at the ceiling i'll stop being depressed aksbdgaiaifnd#thats a joke#got super triggered by a reddit post talking abt how op's family was super happy to go on a vacation without them lmfao#and all i could think abt is how my parents have planned multiple “family” trips without me(bc i have to “take care of the cats”)#and how my sister gave my mother a photo of the three of us with me removed so its just them#and they both yelled at me for being “dramatic” when i was upset about it#nevermind they have plenty of photos together#nevermind they could have taken a new photo together#the ONE photo of the three of us#and they both still think i overreacted years later#i've always been the odd one out in my family#and my parents have always been happy to miss my events#especially if they can prioritise my sibling#anyway lmfao i was already super depressed and now im triggered too. thanks cptsd#actually triggered not “mildly upset”#also being the only person left out of the loop re: d&d group not catching up bc ppl went on vacation#and someone i genuinely thought was a friend not responding to my messages for months#👍#love it love my life things are going so well
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I have this problem that’s like the opposite of nostalgia or something where some things I remember liking a lot as a child I look back and only remember the bad times.
This is specifically about Animal Crossing, loved that game as a kid, but I have literally no idea why, cuz it was just pure hell for me from what I can remember.
#also blues clues but less severe. I like blues clues. but my only childhood memories are when I was scared of it#YES I WAS SCARED OF BLUES CLUES. I HAD A HUGE FEAR OF MYSTERIES. IDK HOW OR WHY. ALSO MY MEGALOPHOBIA DIDNT LIKE THE CLOSE UP PAWPRINTS#the Halloween episode also scared me on several occasions. yes I was a baby. still kind of am.#but like I still have positive feelings about blues clues but ANIMAL CROSSING. ohhh man.#first of all that megalophobia I mentioned uh yeah not a big fan of seeing those big fish.#I was terrified of the rumor that you could see a GINORMOUS fish in the ocean. and I’ve been hearing it was REAL? worst thing ever.#but like. I couldn’t even take care of my irl self so you KNOW my village was totally trashed.#so I had to play while constantly getting told ‘everyone HATES living in this town’ and trying my best to fix it but it’s out of control and#I can’t bring myself to clean (I did it once. it was the happiest I’d been finally getting told positive things.)#my house always full of roaches too lol foreshadowing my life as an adult#ALSO THOSE FREAKING DANGEROUS BUGS WOULD GET ME ALL THE TIME I was always playing at night and getting terrified#I never had a ‘favorite villager’ in the traditional sense cuz none of them ever stayed long. they hated my town.#my fave was actually stitches but I never saw him. maybe I saw him once and he IMMEDIATELY moved out. that was my life.#I can’t name a single villager I ever had in my village cuz they always moved out. I learned not to form attachments even tho I wanted to.#and don’t even get me STARTED on Resetti. if you are a Resetti lover then WE ARE NOT MEANT TO INTERACT 😭#I’m joking I won’t judge you as a person if you like him but at the same time I genuinely on god hate him#opening up the game was a nightmare cuz I knew without fail every time I would have to see him.#‘just save’? it wasn’t ever ME that was doing it. it was my little siblings. and NO I couldn’t stop them. they were like GODS at stealing#not to mention parents would always side with them and make us share the games. they liked to delete saves and were gods at that too#but anyways so I was always stuck with Resetti cuz my siblings couldn’t leave my game alone and also couldn’t bring themselves to save befor#stopping. so every day it would be Resetti. I dreaded it so much because he is like SUPER reminiscent of my abusive step father at the time.#I often cried while just desperately trying to get thru his lectures. they were SO. LONG. and OH MY GOD the time he made me repeat something#I legitimately don’t know what it was but like I kept failing it. I know I was rlly bad with copying things as a kid#there was a time where I made the painful decision to quit in the middle of his rant. knowing that it would be worse next time but I was#simply unable to take it at that point in time. HOW EFFED UP IS THAT. THAT I JUST WANT TO PLAY A DAMN GAME BUT I CANT CUZ OF THE TRAUMA.#I hate Resetti I hate Resetti I hate him so much ‘oh he’s just a character’ THATS WHY IM FREE TO HATE HIM BABY!!! IT MAKES IT WORSE THAT PPL#DELIBERATELY CREATED A CHARACTER LIKE THAT HONESTLY! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO POOR INNOCENT ME!!!#anyways yeah literally everything about animal crossing is so distressing to me and yet I remember loving it. no idea why.#my memories of it have like a dramatic and eerie vignette#and that newer one that came out and everyone was so excited. I can’t handle it cuz of the FISH AGAIN!!! MEGALOPHOBIA BE LIKE!!!!!!!
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Oh yeah..... midnight gospel be hitting.... sitting in my bed fuckin. Crying. Get a grip girl
#Its the trudy ep which is actually the episode that made me keep watching#I love love love this episode.....#Something about how.......... idk.... its a very profound ep that I can't explain and it's a nice cry#This ep kind of shaped my outlook on life especially after finding out about my friend dying#All the regrets and things left unsaid.... I make my peace daily by being really straight up#If I love and care about ppl I tell them... I say they are appreciated and cared for man#I am always thankful for people and I *love* people as a whole#And as long as the people around me intrinsically know that they are loved and cared for and cherished.... like that's it#That's the end game truly#I will never ever be sorry for that. This was THEEEE episode.#There's a lot of nuance behind my feelings best described by revolutionary girl utena#But still. I'm deep enough in my tags bc I'm crying over my s/o but not in a bad way#Fml I am so grateful to him as just an entity. As a person in my life even if our lives only intersect for this brief period of time#He hasn't been texting me much and we didn't talk much at work and I didn't even get a goodbye (rude lol)#But I know he was having a rough day. I know he needs a bit of tlc.#He could be on a downswing because I am certainly on an upswing#So I'm kind of like trying to focus on doing my own thing rn without worrying about it#Because I can't do anything about it so I might as well continue My Thang#But as I sometimes come to terms with us never talking again (gotta be prepared at all times to be ghosted)#I also come back to terms with needing him to really understand#how many people in his life depend on love cherish and admire him#And im not just talking about me... he has a lot of siblings and a not great mom. Two kids he loves.#He has always taken care of everyone else in his life#He deserves to really know and idk. It makes me think of this moment.#Realizing how much I dont ever want to question if he knows#I don't want to question if I could've done more or tried harder etc. I did my very best and didn't lie cheat steal or whatever#I am so grateful to him for letting me have that. Even if nothing can come from it in the end#Even if we should be torn apart!!!! Take my revolution!!!#Anyways. Here's wonderwall#Banger of an episode. Worth the rewatch
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