#If you're still reading these tags make sure you look out for a ghost story posted by me sometime over the next week...

[sunofaraven]

OH MY GOSH. Phew. I finally finished responding to comments on the final chapter of Love Death + Grumbot! What a task.

I do feel bad about taking ten thousand years to respond, but equally, it was difficult to not bawl my eyes out whenever I read through them because everyone was so NICE.

Even the lil comments on fics can really make a writer's day, if not their entire year <3

[stvrnioloslvt]

the estes method - Matt Sturniolo

bf!matt × gf!reader

PART TWO HERE

disclaimer: the following content might not be suitable for everyone. please, read the triggers list before reading this story. also, english is not my first language, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!

triggers: ghosts, shadow figures, the estes method, kinda scary? (not a lot though, i'm the first scaredy cat out there)

inspired by the trailer of this week's episode of hell week. and yes, sam and colby make an appearance in the story. enjoy!

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

i knew it was a bad idea. i mean, as much as i loved haunted places and acting like a ghosthunter, i knew it had complications that i was not prepared for.

but when the triplets were invited by sam and colby for their new episode of hell week they had no problem in tagging me along. and, frankly speaking, i was excited. the last time i filmed with them nothing much had happened, so i was curious to discover what would happen this time. however, nothing could have prepared me for what awaited ahead of me.

1:30 a.m.

"guys, can i do the estes method?"

"you really love that method, don't you?" the cam that sam was holding went straight to my face, startling me. i chuckled as colby gave me the ok to perform it.

"by the way, am i the only one that has been seeing things since i stepped foot in this place?"

five heads turned towards me, eyes wide open.

"what did you just say?" asked nick, turning pale.

"like, shadows that aren't ours moving on the walls, figures running from one room to another...is it only me?" at that point i felt like i was going crazy: the boys didn't have that much of a different reaction, and the camera was still in my face.

"so basically what you're saying is that you have been seeing things for over an hour and you haven't said anything?" sam and colby exchanged knowing stares, probably making a mental annotation to check the footage to see if they caught anything.

"i mean, even when i saw those shadow figures right in front of you, you didn't say anything, so i thought that i was hallucinating. but like...now it's worse" i ended the sentence with a whisper, as the camera panned to the triplets' faces.

"are they touching you? talking?" at this point chris just went back and forth, watching out in case he missed something.

"no, nothing, just circling us...or me. i'm not sure. hey, do you think it might be because i drew like tons of protective sigils on me?"

"YOU WHAT?" screamed sam and colby. i stumbled back, not expecting such a strong reaction.

"yeah, i figured that it could have been dangerous to come here without some sort of protection. i drew them on the triplets too, one per each, but no one is seeing what i am seeing. do you think that they're messing with me because they cannot touch me or whatsoever?"

"could be. messing with your mind instead of directly attacking you on a physical level is definitely an option. just...let us know if something happens, ok?"

i nodded. and, as we moved through the building, i prayed to whatever existed above us to keep us safe.

i turned towards matt, who was looking at me with a worried gaze.

"baby, are you sure you are ok? we can step outside if you need to"

i smiled and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek. our hands brushed together as matt grabbed it to keep me close to him.

"eww disgusting"

"fuck off, nick"

"you too, bitch"

2:17 a.m.

"ok guys, now that the triplets have done the estes method it is y/n's turn" as colby spoke to the camera, matt put the blindfold on my eyes. he bent down to whisper in my ear a shy "i love you", then he put the headphones around my neck.

"y/n, are you ready?"

there was something heavy in the air. something wrong, something scary. i could feel the ways the boys were tensing up, anticipating something, anything. i felt my heart beating faster, my hands cold and sweaty as i saw pitch black in front of me.

with a raspy voice i replied to sam "yeah, i'm ready."

and so it begun.

the estes method

"chris is sitting next to you. if anything happens, tap on his leg"

i took a big breath in as the headphones fell snugly on my ears.

immediately i was hit with a multitude of noises: radio interferences, tv static noise, every once in a while i caught on the voice of a woman. she sounded like she was hurting.

"one"

the thing i hated the most about this method was that from the moment in which the headphones started blasting sounds it was as if you were alone in a parallel world. no matter how hard i squinted my eyes, or how much i tried to block out those noises, i just couldn't see or hear the people that were all around me.

"no"

"pain"

"hurt"

that voice, that woman...she was scared for her life. every time she spoke i could hear her whimper, almost crying.

"guys i think it is a woman speaking and she sounds like she is in pain. i don't know if it is related to what you've been asking but i thought you would want to know it"

the noise in my ears started getting stronger, higher. i put my head in my hands that were resting on my knees, then gripped the headphones so i could hear the woman better. there was something sinister about the new noise, it seemed like it was trying to cancel out the spirit in pain.

the best way i could describe it is as if a war had started and none of the two opponents could prevail on the other. i felt my head aching in an attempt to just focus on something, anything. but as soon as i tried to do so, the noises would get even stronger, leaving me panting as if i just ran a marathon. i felt someone's hand grab my thigh and shake it hard enough for me to feel it. somebody else tried to take the headphones out of my grip, but i held them in place.

finally, i managed to hear something.

"help!" screamed the woman.

and as soon as that word left my mouth, all the noise stopped, except for the tv static noise. my breath slowed down, and i loosened up the grip on the headphones. just as i was about to ask the boys if they unplugged the device, a growling, low voice screamed in my ears "go away!"

i screamed, terrified, as i ripped the headphones away from my ears and fell on the ground in front of me. i remember calling out matt's name, and he rushed to take me in his embrace as i cried terrified of what just happened.

chaos ensured: the boys scrumbled all around me to understand what i heard, but as soon as they did that colby called out a figure standing on the doorway.

"let's go outside, we can't stay here anymore!" someone screamed, and just like that matt picked me up bridal style and ran out with the others.

"nick, open the fucking car door so i can place her inside"

"on it"

the car

"baby, are you okay?"

"fuck, she's terrified. y/n. y/n! nod if you can hear us"

i nodded. just lightly, but enough for them to notice.

"baby, can you tell us what happened? what did you hear?"

i pulled matt inside the car so he could hold me while i tried to explain in the best way possible everything without being hindered by the fear that was running through my veins.

"that's crazy. guys, i've never seen anything like that before" said colby.

"for sure. it seemed like she was in a trance. y/n, did you feel us try to take those headphones off of you ears? you had a death grip on them, seriously"

"yeah, i felt it" i whispered, still shaking in matt's embrace. the poor boy could do nothing but hold me and caress my hair in hopes that it might help me to cool down.

"there was like...noise. a lot. at first i heard the woman speaking, then something else came up and started to try cancel out the woman. the last thing she said was help, and then..."

"and then what, baby?"

"and then there was silence. no noise at all, but i still couldn't hear you guys. i was going to ask if you had unplugged the headphones but..."

was i shaking again?

chills ran down my spine at the memory of that awful, awful voice.

"c'mon baby you can do it. say it"

"all of a sudden something growled in my ear. i don't even know how to explain it, it seemed like it didn't come from the headphones. he growled go away but i heard it so fucking clearly and strong that it felt like a scream right in my ears. i'm so sorry, i didn't want to scare you, i swear"

a heavy silence doomed upon us as the boys exchanged worried looks. matt held me tighter, in an attempt to protect me from my own memories.

"we believe you, y/n, we're just shocked that this happened...have we ever lived something like this before, sam?"

"no, never. i had chills, that was fucking terrifying"

"guys i think we should wrap it up here and go home"

"yeah. matt, do you want me to drive you guys home? so you can stay in the back with y/n"

"yes, please. let's go, i really don't want to spend another second in this place."

「 ★ ★ ★ 」

would you guys like a part 2? just pure fluff, matt taking care of y/n. let me know in the comments <3

all pictures were taken from pinterest. credits to the owners!

[silverdune]

nice to see (right through) you again (teaser) | s.mg

"a light, airy rumble seemed to filter through the air. had the ghost just.. laughed?"

minors dni. ageless blogs dni. blank blogs dni. you'll be blocked. character(s): gn!reader, song mingi teaser tags: ghost!mingi, librarian!reader, explicit language, suspense, flashback word count: 1.2k summary: at the end of your late shift, mysterious paranormal activity begins to happen as you clean up the library.. but who is responsible? a/n: so this is the first part of a flashback which shows how reader and mingi first met three years prior to the present day. if you're interested in reading the main one-shot once released, and you'd like to be tagged, please leave a reply or send an ask! i plan to get the whole one-shot out before or on halloween! note: if you're a minor or have no indication of age, you will not be added.

“Quite an atypical evening, huh?”

“Well, it’s not every day a ghost pays a visit to your library.”

×-×

The library you worked at was open until 8pm every Thursday, and you always had the job of locking up. You didn’t mind it one bit, often savouring the quiet that the hour alone gave you once your colleague departed.

But the hour wasn’t so quiet, as fifteen minutes into you rearranging the books back to their appropriate places and dusting the shelves, a lamp mysteriously fell off one of the desks and crashed on the floor.

You’re at least thankful you were only holding a cloth.

Upon inspection, the bulb in the lamp hadn’t broken - thank God - but you replaced it on the desk with a heightened wariness. None of the windows were open, and even if they were, it wasn’t like the wind was going to be strong enough to knock a whole lamp over.

Personally, you were only semi-superstitious. While cosying up with a good ghost story was one of your favourite pastimes, and you found the history of haunted places to be incredibly fascinating, you’d never wager that anything paranormal would happen to you. Besides, the library didn’t have a history of being haunted, and none of your colleagues had ever reported mysterious activity worthy of investigation by ghost hunters or, in the extreme cases, expulsion from a priest.

Shaking your head, you adjust the lamp on the desk to make sure it doesn’t fall over again, and rationalise that it had probably been on the edge of the desk. Someone had accidentally jolted it and not realised its precarious position. No bother. At least it wasn’t broken.

You returned to your task; the incident had knocked five precious minutes of your time off, so you hurried around the ground floor of the library, making quick work of the shelves and the desks. You were now especially careful around the lamps, not wanting to actually break one.

A few moments later, there was a loud thump behind you.

Startled at the sudden noise, you swiftly pivoted on the spot to find three books had been knocked onto the floor.

Okay, you thought, what the hell is going on?

There was no way those books could have fallen off the shelves unless someone purposely threw them.

Moments later, you watched as another book protruded from the shelf. The motion was akin to being pulled, as though there was an invisible person looking for a book to read.

You couldn’t believe you were actually considering the possibility of there being a ghost in your library. What exactly did this ghost want? Could you rationalise trying to communicate with them?

Your mouth parted open and you uttered a noise, and the book immediately fell on the floor, causing you to jump back.

“Whoa- um..” You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried again. “H-Hello? Is there anyone there?” A sigh escaped you; what were you doing? Your eyes briefly looked askance at the clock on the wall. Time was running out and you still had an entire upper floor to clean. All you needed to do was pick the books up off the floor, replace them on their shelves and get back to it.

So why were you frozen in place, bound to the possibility of an actual ghost standing just a few metres from you?

Inch by inch, you crept forward, hoping that maybe if there was a ghost, they would understand that you weren’t exactly frightened or upset with them, you just wanted to talk, or at the very least, help them with whatever they needed, be it anything at all.

It wasn’t lost on you that trying to broach communication with a semi-corporeal stranger who was likely centuries old was probably a waste of time. Not only that, but if you did manage it, it would be incredibly difficult to explain to your colleagues the next time you saw them. It wouldn’t exactly be news for the group chat.

As you stumbled forward towards the shelves with the missing books, you briefly looked down to see that they hadn’t fallen very neatly. It was almost more surprising; had they fallen too neatly it would at least explain the bizarre, paranormal nature of the event.

It wasn’t long before you started to notice just how cold the room had become. Maybe it hadn’t stood out to you before, but you suddenly had the urge to wrap your arms around yourself and when you next exhaled, a distinct cloud left your lips.

Cold room, objects mysteriously falling off of surfaces.. you’re shocked that the ghost hadn’t tampered with the lights yet.

Just then, a light flickered above you.

“Shit..” you muttered under your breath. These things were all very typical of the books you liked to read around this time of year, what with it being October and the perfect season to do so. Perhaps you’d read one too many in the last month or so.

Your cool demeanour faltered even further when another book came flying off the shelf. You were close enough by that point to actually see what the subject of the books were; to your shock, none of these books were ghost stories, and in the bleary haze of being substantially rattled by this situation, you almost forgot that you were actually standing by the poetry section.

You wrapped your cardigan around your body and sighed. “Alright, enough games, who are you and what do you want?”

You found yourself defaulting back to the style of address you’d seen in movies and ghost hunting TV shows. In all fairness, confronting a presence from beyond the grave that had found a way to set foot in the mortal realm turned out to be horrifying.

The ghost seemed to be in fairly low spirits; you weren’t sure how you knew, but something about the way they interacted with the world made you believe they were in a bad mood. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You had to approach this from a different angle.

Crouching to the floor, you picked up the last book that was pulled off the shelves and stood straight. This was a recent addition to the collection, you remember adding it to the shelf a few weeks ago: a poetry collection by Edgar Allan Poe.

“You like Poe?” You froze for a second. “Wait.. are you Edgar Allan Poe?” The question came out half-jokingly, like you couldn’t believe the Allan Poe would be haunting the quaint library you worked at.

A light, airy rumble seemed to filter through the air. Had the ghost just.. laughed?

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then.” You flicked through the collection. You liked Edgar’s poems enough, though skimming through this particular anthology put you back in the lecture halls and the library of your university, where you’d analyse his and others’ poems with a fine toothed comb until your brain hurt.

You placed the book flat on the shelf and went to pick up the other three. They were all collections from Poe.

“Wow, you really like his poems, huh?” You chuckled to yourself, then replaced all four books back to their original places.

For how cold the room was a few minutes ago, you were gradually starting to notice it less and less.

Folding your arms, you turned back to the general area where you thought the ghost might be, but it wasn’t like you’d ever be sure of that.

Not unless they revealed themselves.

× silverdune (ave). do not repost. ×

[butcherlarry]

Weekly Fic (and Meat) Recs 60

I'M BACK! I had a lovely time on PTO! I went home, visited with family, visited with the cattle, celebrated my birthday, attended a banquet, got a wicked sharp meat cleaver (very excited about this), visited a new arboretum, saw birds, took pictures of birds, and survived the solar eclipse! All and all, a good time all around :) Got some reading done too, so there are fic recs from what I read last week and this week on this list. Also, a meat 101 lesson at the end, USDA beef quality grades edition!

The Brothers Wayne by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. An update to the Bruce and Wade Wilson are brothers fic. Some family bonding between the brothers, the only way siblings know how. Beating the shit out of each other :)

Fresh Wounds (Still Cut Deep) by Inkwell1013 - Batfam, complete. A fic inspired by this art from sully-s. Alfred taking care of a newly orphaned Bruce and having no clue what he's doing (except his best).

dead man's party by TheResurrectionist - Batfam, wip. An update to Jason sees ghosts fic (while being haunted by Martha Wayne)

Patroclus by widow_account - Superbat, complete. I shrieked when I saw this fic was completed! I need to go back and reread it again in it's completed glory. Clark is kidnapped and sent to War World to fight. Bruce saves him. Much feels are involved too.

They Also Serve by Ginevra_Benci - Batfam, complete. Alfred wakes up to a surprise, Bruce kidnapping adopting a small angry child (Dick).

Precedent by Cdephiki - Batfam, complete. Damian joins the family early AU! The second fic in the series. This story is about Jason joining the family.

Padam by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. More of college Clark at a gay club. Bruce Wayne has entered the chat :)

Just A Little Bit... by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. More of eldritch Bruce and alien Clark! A plan is in the making to infiltrate Cadmus. Jason and Dick visit Ivy to ask for help

Unreasonable Love by elizabethgee - Superbat, wip. Bruce and Clark start dating and it is found out by the media. This wouldn't be too much of a problem except the fact that this awakens something in Clark's Kryptonian brain and he gets a little possessive protective of his mate boyfriend :)

shiftwork by TheResurrectionist - Bruce Wayne, complete. A neat fic from an outsider's point of view! Bruce visits one of Wanye Enterprise's worksites.

Oh Can't You See What Love Has Done (What it's Doing to Me?) by dio_icaurtica - Superbat, complete. A fic inspired by this post from frownyalfred!

Patchwork Pod by Ktkat9 - Superbat, Batfam, Superfam, wip. More of the mer Bruce fic! Tim and Bruce are recovering from their injuries.

Azure Catching the Moonlight by RenaiRin - Superbat, wip. Superman gets hit with some pink kryptonite. Be sure to read the tags! :D

Show Me How to Lie (You're Getting Better All The Time) by BookwormByNight - Superbat, wip. A Superman from an other universe shows up in the watchtower. He doesn't want to leave and takes a special interest in Bruce for some reason :)

Bruce Doing Mundane Things by aesthetic_pleasure - Superbat, wip. Exactly what it says in the title. Bruce does mundane things and Clark enjoys watching him do them.

Happy reading!

And now, as promised above:

BEEF QUALITY GRADING 101!

Since I live in the USA, my experience with beef quality grading is with the USDA standards. But, most of these rules (kinda) apply to other countries, they might just have different standards of what carcasses make it into what quality grades (for fun, look up USDA beef marbling cards and then Japanese beef quality grading cards. Marbling that would be acceptable for high quality beef in the US would be considered lower quality in Japan!)

What are USDA beef quality grades? Have you ever been in the grocery store, looked at a package of beef steaks (ribeye, sirloin, strip loin, filets, etc.) and saw a sticker on the package that said "USDA PRIME" or "USDA CHOICE"? That's the beef's quality grade! It determines the worth of the carcass. That, in combination with the Yield Grade (how much sellable meat can a processor/retailer/etc. can get off the carcass) gives you the overall price of the carcass.

There are two major factors that go into determining the quality grade of a carcass, the marbling and the maturity. Marbling is the intramuscular fat (fat inside of the muscle). Since marbling contributes to flavor and tenderness, more marbling is better! Below are the USDA marbling standards for beef carcasses:

The other factor is the maturity of the carcass. This is determined by looking at the ossification (cartilage turning into bone) of the dorsal processes (the long spiny fingers along the back bone) along the spine of the carcass. Look at the cartilage caps in the green boxes in the picture below:

The one on the far left is very white. If you were to scratch it with your fingernail, it would feel smooth. This would be considered an young carcass, or "A" maturity. The more those caps fill with bone, the older the carcass. The one on the far right has those caps completely filled with bone, so that would be considered and older carcasses, or "D" maturity. When a carcass passes into "C" maturity (like the one in the middle), that carcass can no longer be graded in to the higher priced quality grades (USDA Standard to Prime).

The maturity matters because as the animal gets older, they develop more connective tissue in the muscles. This decreases the tenderness of the meat, and consumers don't want to pay more money for tough meat. This is also why meat coming out of the middle of the carcass (along the back, so ribeye and loin) are more expensive. Those muscles have less connective tissue, so they are more tender. The tenderloin (Impress your friends by calling it by it's scientific name, psoas major!) is the most tender muscle on the carcass, so that's why it tends to be the most expensive.

Below is a chart showing what maturities and marbling scores are needed to reach what quality grade. For example, a carcass with "B" maturity and "Modest" marbling would be graded as USDA Choice.

USDA Prime is the highest quality grade a carcass can receive (well, actually USDA High Prime, but I can go more into how that's determined if someone asks about it). The lowest qualty grade you see in a retail store would be USDA Standard. The USDA Commercal, Utility, Cutter, and in the verrrrryyyy tiny corner in the bottom right is Canner. These grades are given to older animals, like old cows and bulls. USDA Commercial might be sold whole muscle (boneless) in restaurants after it has been enhanced (pumped with water, salt, sugar brine to make the meat more flavorful and tender). Otherwise, these carcasses that are lower quality grades are ground up for ground beef! Nothing more tender than ground beef! They can also get canned for canned beef. I have had many delicious meals of beef and noodles from canned beef from my family's herd 😋

As I mentioned before, this quality grade, along with the yield grade, determines the price of the carcass. If you want to check those out, click the link below:

USDA AMS daily beef reports

The report for beef carcass price per hundred weight is the second link down, called "Beef Carcass Price Equivalent Index Value". The USDA Agricultural Marketing Service always has these reports and they are always updating them each day. You will see price fluctuations throughout the year. I looks like for April 12th, the most valuable carcass for that day is a carcass that grades USDA Prime, with a Yield Grade of 1-3, and a hcw (hot carcass weight) of 600-900 lbs. A carcass that hit those standards will get you $297.92 per hundred weight (every 100 lbs, you get that much amount of money). So, a 800 lb carcass that is USDA Prime, Yield Grade 3 is worth $2383.36. This would be considered very rare though. Most carcasses in the US are grading USDA Choice, Yield Grades 1-3.

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed that Beef Grading 101! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask! I love discussing this!

[n0v4t33z]

The Syndicate - Chapter 8 : Complications & Whiskey

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 15.9k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), flirting, kissing (yk that cheesy stuff couples do) Mentions of San's past lover being not so cool. (Not edited properly, I'll come back to it when I can)

Nets: @newworldnet

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

Author's Note 💌: Hi! It's been a while since I updated this story, unfortunately I had really bad burnout and kind of struggled writing this chapter. Luckily one of my readers reached out to me which really motivated me to finish this chapter. The beginning is a little bumpy but it gets better! Like always I hope whoever reads this enjoys this chapter and if you didn't keep it to yourself! Again, thank you for remaining patient! (It's 2 am and I'm tired but I still wanna post this rn because I need to get it off my hands asap so I can work on the next chapter) - N🌙

•································•································•

How did this happen? How did he get my number? Did he bug the hospital room somehow? Maybe Chris’ phone? Fuck. There was a long silence of me trying to process what just happened then Captain Lee continues “I was just calling to let you know you’re more than welcome to come back to the police force.” My blood runs cold causing me to slightly stutter “So how’d you get my number?” He chuckles which gives me a horrible case of my whole body feeling cold “Ah, don’t worry about it Detective I have my methods.”

I nervously laugh and my grip becomes increasingly tight on my phone while I carefully look around making sure no one was watching. Making sure "he" wasn't watching. “Ah well, I’ll think about it Captain but I was just hoping you keep my anonymity since Aurora Syndicate is currently out looking for me.” I��m hoping he doesn’t suspect anything “Oh yes, Detective Bang told me earlier and don’t get me wrong I’ll grant it for you but I’ll let you know that I’m also aware that you know I worked with The Obsidian Dragon. So naturally, if you tell anyone I’m afraid I’ll have to get rid of you. So to keep tabs on you, you’re coming back to the police force whether you like it or not.”

I put my hand on my forehead and push my bangs back and hold back tears “What do you mean Captain? Why am I being forced into this? This is why I disappeared, to distance myself from this. I can't go back.” Captain Lee clicks his tongue a few times and says “Well, I’m sure you do know investigating these Mob bosses will get you killed so you should know that once you step into the world of corruption and ghost money your only way out is death whether you’re involved or you’re investigating it.”

He isn’t wrong, every single word he’s saying is right. I got myself into this mess and now I’m stuck. The only words that manage to leave my mouth are “Okay then, when do I go back?” I’m going to regret this. I could hear the smile in his voice “Anytime you want, preferably on Monday but don’t worry you’ll be doing desk jobs until you’re cleared. or until I feel you're good to go” I silently nod then I say in a very hushed tone “Alright, see you then Captain Lee.”

I hang up and clench my phone in my hand trying to blink back tears. I can’t cry here. I wipe away the stray tears before I buy the groceries. Once I've paid for them I put my phone on factory reset and throw it away into a trash bin outside the grocery store and head back to the tattoo shop. This is not good, I'm worried as to how he got a hold of my phone number. I didn't even give it to Chris. I'm terrified he probably knows more than what he leads on.

 When I arrive to the hideout I notice everyone was still asleep so I stand in the dark kitchen and silently cry for a few minutes. I know everything will change after this. They’re all going to stop trusting me, not that they trusted me much anyway but what worries me the most is San. I might as well enjoy the calm before the storm.

Once I start cooking I notice Seonghwa sleepily rubbing his eyes and says “Hey, good morning no wonder I smelled sauteed meat and garlic, you’re in the kitchen.” I smile and nod “Yes, you’re spot on. I decided to cook for you guys since your cook isn’t here. I’m afraid it won’t be as good though.” Seonghwa raises his hand and shakes his head “Nah, it can’t can’t be worse than Hongjoong’s cooking. At least what you're cooking smells edible so I’m sure it'll taste just as good as it smells.”

He washes his hands and walks over to me “Need a hand?” I shake my head “Oh no you don’t have to, I was hoping you guys wouldn’t wake up until I was finished” He pats my head “Hm, I’ll help you. I’m awake so I might as well make myself useful” I giggle “Alright, please peel the potatoes?” He nods “Yes, ma’am” after we prepped and cooked everything I exhaustedly sit on the couch then I space out.

I want to tell Seonghwa but I’m scared he’s going to get upset. How do I tell him? Seonghwa soon follows and sits next to me and looks over at me waiting for me to say something. Worriedly he says “y/n? Are you okay?” I look over at him “Hm? Oh nothing I just have alot on my mind as of recently. A Lot has happened.” He nods “I agree, that attack from the feds hit us hard but don’t worry. Everything will fix itself eventually.”

I sigh and reach over to nudge Seonghwa’s arm “Hwa, I need to tell you something. I know I need to tell San right away but I’m scared.” He furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with a huge concern “Did something happen?” I hide my hands under my thighs “Captain Lee called me out of nowhere when I was grocery shopping this morning and he told me I have to go back to the police station again to keep tabs on me or else he says he’s going to take me out. I honestly have no idea how he even got a hold of my phone number, I had no choice but to say yes. I fucked up. I’m so sorry.”

I bite my lip to keep myself from bursting into tears while he silently stares at the ground for a moment then he cautiously looks back at me “No, no. This isn’t your fault, but you do have to tell San. This isn’t good at all. ” I nod  “You’re right, this can’t wait can’t it? I was going to wait until everyone finished eating. Forgive me please don’t tell anyone else about this I’ll tell San myself.” I get up trying my best not to start crying in front of Seonghwa. Before I even have the chance to walk away he stops me tugging on my hand so that I turn to face him. He looks up at me from his seat "Remember, everything is going to be okay even if it seems like there's no way out of it." I force a smile and nod "Right, thank you for being such an amazing friend Hwa." Seonghwa slowly lets go of my hand and nods. "Always." I'm grateful to have a friend as caring as Seonghwa, someone who will comfort me and reassure me when i'm in doubt. I just hope one day i'll be able to return the favor.

When I open the door to San’s room and slowly close the door behind me. I carefully sit down on his bed and gently shake him “San, I have something to tell you.” He quietly hums and sleepily turns to face me trying to blink away his sleepiness  “y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay? You’re awake?” I shake my head trying to hold back tears. I’m so scared. He sits up and grabs my hand and gently kisses my knuckles “What’s wrong?” My lip slightly quivers “I have to tell you something. It’s something kind of serious.” He sits up and gently rubs the back of my hand with his thumb “Well, whenever you’re ready angel eyes.” I tighten my grip on his hand and put my other hand over his and take a deep breath then silently exhale “Well, Captain Lee called me and said I have to go back to the police station again or he’s going to kill me and whoever else knows about him working for The Obsidian Dragon and that he was the true reason why The Phantom died.”

San stays silent for a few seconds then in a low tone he responds “Why?” I stare at his hand then I look over at his body language and I could feel how angry he is right now which is what scares me the most because I know how impulsive he is. As much as I don’t want to look at how angry he is I look up at him meeting his eyes “He wants to keep tabs on me.” He lets out a long sigh and gently kisses my forehead “I promise you’ll be safe.” I look into his hypnotizing dark brown eyes “So you’re not mad at me?” His demeanor quickly changes and gives me his cute dimpled smile “Hey, why would I be? This isn’t your fault at all.” Part of me felt like it was, I feel like a burden now that I know Captain Lee is unknowingly threatening San with me.

“I don’t know, I just feel like somehow it was my fault because I told Chris about Captain Lee being corrupt. Despite that I know deep in my heart that Chris would never say anything.” San’s smile disappears and raises his eyebrow “Are you sure? How do you know it wasn’t him?” I bite the inside of my lip second guessing my previous statement now because of his serious demeanor. “Well, because I know him and he always keeps his word no matter what. That includes secrets. He'd never put me in harm’s way, he’s always protected me so it can’t be him.” He lets out a quiet sigh “Babe he’s a cop what do you expect? He’s going to open his mouth if it benefits him. Especially now since you no longer work at the police station that lead is probably a huge opportunity for a promotion.” I shake my head “No, he’d never do that especially not if it ended up hurting someone.”

He looks at me with a straight face almost like what I was saying is a bunch of nonsense  “I’m sorry, I love you but I don’t trust that partner of yours.” I frustratedly put my hands on my forehead “Hear me out, when I told Chris I specifically told him to ask Captain Lee not to release the news of me being alive and to grant me anonymity. Which yes, Captain Lee acknowledged and said he’d agree too if I went back to the station but another thing I told Chris was that Aurora Syndicate was after me and that I needed my anonymity because of that. Captain Lee didn’t know that and he never once mentioned it until I said something about it so if Chris did tell him he would have known that and would have mentioned it first.”

San's eyes slightly narrow “But what if he didn’t mention it on purpose? He’s a cop so he’s great at being able to convince someone with words by conveniently leaving things out.” Okay, as a cop this is embarrassing how I’m forgetting my own methods now. I sigh and lay back onto the bed “Ok you know what?" I frustratedly run my fingers through my hair. "Fine who cares how he found out, the problem is that he found out and now I’m fucking scared to go back knowing I’m only there because he’s going to wait until I fuck up so he could kill me. Even then I still don't want to lose you either.” A big knot grows in my throat, feeling the tears begin to sting my eyes “This is why I'm telling you, because I need your help. I don’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to leave without a word and leave you wondering whether I’m okay or not.”

San lays next to me and wipes the tears away then gently pulls me close to him “You won’t be alone I promise, Seonghwa will be my eyes. I have a plan but that will be all up to you if you want to do this.” I nod “Of course, anything.” He smiles and kisses my forehead “Good girl, the plan is you will be my informant on what the police department is up to regarding Aurora Syndicate. Of course you’ll be under observation so evreytime you do have Information I’ll have Seonghwa send over the information via burner phone and dispose of it after each use to lower the chance of us getting caught.” San gives me the most gentle gaze and gently kisses the side of my head “This is going to end soon I promise, even if you’ll be someone else’s temporarily.”

I furrow my eyebrows and give him a confused stare “Uh what?” He smirks and lifts up my chin “You’ll have to pretend you and Seonghwa are in a relationship because he’s going to be living with you, even though it pains me. I have no choice at this point than to fool Lee for a little while longer while we gather up a plan.” What is this? Again with the fake boyfriend? I look up in disappointment while massaging my temples lightly “Really? How can you be so comfortable sharing me with another man like that? Can't we just be roommates or something?” He shrugs “The thing is if he's not related to you in anyway at all people will start looking into him a lot more, your supposed relationship to him might be a good distraction for them and much more convincing.”

He's really trying to sell me this, it's not a horrible idea but I don't know.. Kind of awkward after what happened between me and Seonghwa last night. “Besides when you went to your funeral with him and he brought you back home safely didn’t he?” I roll my eyes and jokingly retort “Yeah, what if I fall in love with him? Then what?” He smiles and takes my face in his hand “Hm, well then I’ll try to win you back no matter how many times it takes because like I said in the end you and I both know you’re mine. I know my place in your heart and you know mine, we are one. So, no. I’m not worried I'll lose you to him because I know it’s not going to happen. You’ll always be mine in one way or another.” Never have I seen a man so sure about how he feels towards me. How... Nice.

“You really feel that way?” I ask while I gently run my hand along his white t shirt clad chest. “I mean, do you? Because, I do.” he chuckles and raises an eyebrow giving me a dimpled smirk while I try to keep myself composed and nod “Of course I do.” he pulls me in a little closer and kisses me while he gently tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “No one will hurt you.” I poke his small dimple “I know, I believe you. I’ve seen what you can do.” San smirks devilishly hovering his lips over mine “I can do that and much more, just for you.” I giggle and clear the few stray pieces of hair from his face. His cat like eyes making me dizzy, for a second I forget how lost in his gaze I am until he leans in and kisses my forehead "My angel."

In response I rest my forehead on his shoulder and sigh "I'm tired of all of this San. I want this to stop." He gently presses his lips on the top of my head whilst he holds me close "I know you do baby. I want it to stop too, I want to be happy with you. Soon, okay?" Feeling a tinge of guilt, I bite my lip trying my hardest not to cry despite the huge uncomfortable knot in my throat.

San rolls onto his back and pulls me onto his chest "Let's lay here for a bit." I look up at him "So that's it?" San raises his eyebrow and hums "What do you mean? Was I supposed to say something else?" I shrug "I don't know, you don't seem shaken up over Lee's threat towards me." San runs his fingers through my hair "Well, how do you know I'm not scared?" He's right, maybe he's trying to keep me from freaking out. "Well, for one we moved on from this conversation way too quickly." He quietly stares up at the ceiling for a few moments his fingers now gently massaging my scalp until he finally speaks again. "Hm, well I am scared. I'm also angry and bloodthirsty, but I can't show you that part of myself. I don't want to scare you, I don't want to fuel your brain with ideas of me that might make you not trust me at all."

Okay so I guess I was right, he knows he still scares me to some degree despite loving him so much. I hate how conflicting this is. "I see, so you're trying to spare me from freaking out then?" He smiles gently booping my nose "You got it." I rest my head on his chest and sigh.I hate how my "fake" death ended up becoming pointless, and unfortunately it's probably something Captain Lee will end up blackmailing me with. I thought I was going to catch him by surprise but no, now I'm hoping I can find a way for Captain Lee to get blindsided while still under his observation.

I look up and notice San staring up at the ceiling again then I bury my face in the crook of his neck holding onto him tightly. He turns to me and gently plants a kiss on my temple then rests his head onto mine. “I really am going to miss you.” I lace his fingers between mine “I am too honestly. I wish we could stay like this forever.” Letting him go now seems like a crime, why is it that he terrifies me but yet makes me so happy? “I got so used to having you at my side for so long that I forgot what it felt like to not feel so- I don’t know, alone?” I giggle “That’s a nice way of putting it because I feel the same way.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and shows me his dimpled smile “Yeah?” My ears get hot and I bury my face in his chest causing him to quietly laugh “I swear you’re so cute when you get shy. I’ll miss that too.” I peek and look up at him “Hey, don’t be sad. I did a surprise for you and the guys this morning but I think maybe the food has gotten cold by now.” HIs eyes light up “Wait, wow. I get to try your food?” I nod and awkwardly smile “Yeah but if you don’t like it it’s okay. I honestly hate my cooking but my family strangely seemed to love it so I just wanted to cook for you guys because I trust my family’s opinion on it despite personally not really being a fan of what I make.”

San gives me a dimpled smile “I’m sure it’s delicious angel eyes, I know I’m going to love it so don’t worry. Also, I think we should go eat. I’m sure after everything this morning you’re probably really hungry.” He smirks and winks at me causing me to cover my eyes. Why is he always making my heart feel like it's going to jump out of my throat? “Stop it. Stop doing that thing with your face again!” He removes my hand from my face and chuckles "Wait, what's wrong with my face?" I shyly look in the other direction avoiding eye contact while my voice slowly trails "Um, nothing. You just.." San turns my face back in his direction "You what?" Stunned, I simply blink back in response until he chuckles and pulls me into a chaste kiss. Once he pulls away he gently runs his thumb along my bottom lip and for a few moments I recalibrate my brain until I finally respond "You're handsome...That's what I wanted to say." San hums and pulls my hand up to his lips gently pressing it onto his lips. "So sweet aren't we baby?"

When we walk to the kitchen we notice most of the guys were in the living room except Hongjoong, Jongho and Wooyoung who were in their respective rooms. I look over at San awkwardly knowing full well that some of them aren't too keen on me. I clear my throat trying to lightly bring their attention “So uh, is anyone hungry?” Yunho looks up from the game he’s playing “Hm? There’s food?” I nod “Yeah, I woke up early this morning to make it mostly because I couldn’t go back to sleep. Do you mind getting the others? I’ll bring Wooyoung’s breakfast later when he’s woken up.”

Yunho nods and walks over to go fetch the 2 others while everyone else takes their seat at the table meanwhile Seonghwa and I set the table while evreyone talks amongst themselves waiting for the others to come. Eventually Jongho, Hongjoong and Yunho sit down at the table with the only person missing being Wooyoung. Seeing everyone here except Wooyoung felt odd considering he was always very much present in the conversations but now that he wasn’t here the table was more at peace or so we thought. Seonghwa looks over at me and San “So uh, why are we here all together?”

San laces his fingers together “Well, something happened this morning.” Hongjoong narrows his eyes "The feds know where we are?" Jongho glances at San "Did they?" San shakes his head then pushes his glasses up "No. Captain Lee contacted y/n about going back to the police station. Of course he knows she’s alive now but blatantly threatened her to come back to the police force because he knows that she knows about his involvement with The Black Obsidian. He says he wants her working there to keep tabs on her which comes to my next statement. We’re starting a very important assignment regarding this issue. Of course the person who’s going to actually be joining y/n will be Seonghwa.”

Everyone is silent then Mingi slowly raises his hand “So it’s just him? What are we supposed to do then?” San nods “yeah, the reason why he’s going is because he’s the only one that that has no file under his name in the NIS data base” Hongjoong looks at San “Neither does Yeosang though.” San looks over at Hongjoong and smirks “That’s the thing, I’m sure Yeosang is not going to want to pretend he’s y/n’s lover. I also know y/n is definitely not comfortable with him either.” Yunho looks over at Seonghwa whose ears were a bright pink hue then back at San “Wait so are you saying Seonghwa is going to go with y/n and pretend he’s her boyfriend? Why though? Is it to keep an eye on her?” San nods then Seonghwa uncomfortably shifts in his seat “Yep, Seonghwa is also going to be the one communicating to us what’s going on at the station since I’m sure y/n won’t even have the chance to since she’ll be under a microscope with Lee.” 

Yeosang frowns “So what does that have to do with us? Isn’t it just going to be a mission just for them?” San takes a sip of his warm tea and continues “No, it’ll involve you guys as well but that means you’ll have to lay low. Some will be tailing Lee and other officials working for him that includes y/n’s partner Detective Chris Bang, some of you will also be keeping watch the security cameras at the police station and the cameras near and around where y/n will reside in case anyone is sent by Captain Lee.” Everyone stays silent for a while then Jongho says “Wooyung isn’t part of any of this right? He’s still recovering from that punctured lung.” San bites the inside of his cheek “Yeah, he’s not. I just want him to get better and that means he can’t strain himself so please no one speak to him about this. Obviously I don’t know how long this will take but until he gets better please don’t say anything you all know how he is.” Hongjoong cocks an eyebrow “What about when he asks about y/n? You know how he is with his questions.” Yeosang then says “Just tell him she voluntarily left on her own because Lee found out she was alive.”

San leans back onto his chair “There’s your answer, with Seonghwa just say he went on an assignment abroad. Everyone understand? ” Everyone agrees and say in an untimed unison “Yes boss.” Meanwhile Seonghwa silently stares at the table then he looks at San “So you trust me enough let me pass off as y/n’s lover?” I look over at Seonghwa and can tell he’s probably not comfortable going through with this. San gives him a smile clearly showing him how much he trusts him “Of course, you’ve taken such great care of her when I wasn’t able to. Besides this is all fake anyway.” He understandably nods and says “Alright, I’ll do my best to make you proud again.” Seonghwa catches me staring at him and gives me a sweet smile “I promise I won’t let anything to happen to you.” I nod and try to act as nonchalant as I can “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Meanwhile San pats my head and says “Alright everyone can resume eating now, I heard y/n cooked this for us so let’s not leave anything on our plates.”

Everyone begins to eat and after a few moments I notice a few of the guys nodding in approval. Yeosang then looks over at me and says “Thank you for the food y/n.” Shocked he even complimented me I vigorously nod “Thank you so much but it wasn’t just me, Seonghwa helped me as well. I’m sure if he didn’t help the food wouldn’t have been as good as it was.” Could it be that a way to get to a cold man's heart is food? It's starting to ring true now. Seonghwa chuckles “I only peeled the potatoes and made the rice, it was all you y/n.” With his cheeks stuffed with food mid chew Mingi says “You’d honestly make a great wife, your cooking is immaculate and reminds me of my mother’s” San gives Mingi a stare and I nervously laugh “I’m sure your mother’s cooking is way more delicious Mingi” Jongho gives me a comforting smile “Honestly your cooking is amazing, even if you don’t feel that way. I’m saying that because these guys are so picky that the in house chef we had back at HQ quit after about a month of being there.”

I cover my mouth trying to cover up the big smile on my face then I say “Well, I guess I’m lucky to have such picky eaters like my food.” San puts his hand on my thigh and gently squeezes “See? Don’t forget to give yourself some credit sometimes.” I give him a small smile and nod then I look in the direction of the rest of the table “I know this is random but I just wanted to let you guys know I won’t be outing any information regarding the Syndicate if that’s what some of you are worried about, I’ll take that to the grave.” Jongho sets down his coffee mug onto the table “Don’t worry, I trust you. I’m sure the others do as well to an extent they just don’t want to admit it but I believe you y/n.” Yunho and Seonghwa both nod then Yunho responds while looking directly at Yeosang and Hongjoong “Even then for the ones who still don’t trust you they’ll see you’re not a bad person and you’re worth trusting.” Hongjoong tilts his head “You must be talking about Yeosang and not me. If I didn’t trust y/n I wouldn’t have let her touch a computer and much less suggest to San to let her have her own.”

My lips slightly part looking at the table then I look back and notice Hongjoong’s usual annoyed look replaced with one of a small smile “But also how could I not trust someone who likes Spongebob?” I giggle then I turn to Yunho “He’s right, he’s actually been very nice to me so no worries about that.” He continues looking in Yeosang’s direction “I’m glad to hear, although I was mostly referring to Yeosang here considering how many rude and tasteless things he’s said to you and that doesn’t even include the things he’s said while Wooyoung instigated.” I shake my head “Ah, no that’s okay don’t worry. I respect his reasons.”

He silently nods for a few seconds as if he was unconsciously doing it to calm himself down “You’ll see she’s not a horrible person, and when Wooyoung comes back he’s going to see for himself too.” Yeosang sits there staring at Yunho for a few seconds then stands up silently and walks to his room leaving everyone in shock. Why do I always cause these things, if someone isn’t getting upset over something I did someone else is getting upset over something someone did to me. I wish this wasn’t the case, it only comes off that I’m the one causing problems.

San glances at Yeosang’s empty seat then back at me “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine he just can’t stand being wrong.” I silently nod then San smiles and says “Everyone is dismissed for now, we’ll talk about everything in detail later…” A few moments later San’s cellphone rings and hurriedly gets up and says “I’ll be back, I’ve got to take this call..” Eventually evreyone finishes eating but San never comes back so once everyone leaves, I stay behind to clean the dishes while Seonghwa clears the table. He silently walks over to me holding a few plates gently setting them down onto the sink and walks back to the table to retrieve more. He’s awfully quiet.

Should I say something? I stare down at the bubbly water in the sink until I finally speak “Why’d you stay? I would have cleaned up, it’s fine.” Without turning in his direction I could hear the slight clinking of the glasses as he steps in my direction again. “I wanted to, besides it didn’t sit right for me not to clean up after myself.” I dryly laugh “You mean after your friends?”  I turn to Seonghwa who walks up next to me and sets down the glasses next to the sink and gives me a smirk “Exactly, you need my help. Scoot over.” I roll my eyes and scoot over, giving Seonghwa room to stand next to me and begin to dry off the plates I've already washed. For a while he and I clean together in silence until unexpectedly I hear “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting the call to be this long but something came up.” Both Seonghwa and I turn to San and he continues “I know this is very short notice but do you mind coming to something with me tomorrow night angel eyes?” I glance at Seonghwa who looked just as confused as I then back at San who was standing at the entrance of the kitchen waiting for a response “Aren’t we supposed to lay low?”

I ask slightly unsure, San gives me a reassuring smile “We’ll be okay. I just wanted you to meet my mother and sister, you know since Seonghwa here knows them I think it’s a good idea you meet them as well. I’m almost positive you three will get along.” I can’t meet his family, what if they don’t like me and they send for me to get killed? Especially if they find out I’m a former cop. Seonghwa glances at me slightly concerned “What if she just stays home and rests? She’s been through alot these past days.” San lets out a sigh and pats Seonghwa's back turning his attention back to himself. “Jongho, you, and the rest are coming so we’ll be fine. Besides, if she doesn’t want to go she's more than welcome to stay home.” Well, I guess I have a social affair to attend to now. At least now I'll get to do a little familiarization with San's family.

"I'll go..I don't mind sounds fun. I'm kind of tired of being couped up." San gives me a small smile "There you go, you heard the lady. She's going." Seonghwa quietly washes a glass under the warm running water while I dry off my hands on the hand towel next to the sink “What exactly is this thing we’re going to?” San walks over to me holding back a big smile “It’s my sister’s birthday” He gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “I wanted you to join us. I know you’re supposed to be resting right now but Jongho will be there, so I promise you’ll be okay. Besides I figured you'd like to know who works for us and how deep our business runs. ” I slowly nod “Okay sure, but what am I supposed to wear? I didn't bring anything with me, much less anything that covers up what happened on my shoulder..”

San shakes his head “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything.” He glances over at Seonghwa and says “Make sure my mother doesn’t find out about the specifics with the police, I don’t want her to worry. There’s also a small job I need you to do for me. Mingi will be joining you.” Seonghwa nods obediently “Noted, but what happens if she asks why Wooyoung isn’t there? She knows he’d never miss anything like this..” San stares off into the distance for a moment “He had a family emergency and he wasn’t available.” San seemed to have become a bit haste to which Seonghwa seemed to pick up on and responds “Oh, okay that seems plausible.” San motions him in the direction of the living room “Mingi’s waiting.” Seonghwa sets down the dishes, wipes his hands dry on the hand towel next to the sink and excuses himself.

I notice there’s this weird tension between them but I can’t put my finger on why they feel that way towards each other or if it’s mutual. “You remember Nari? She’s coming over to get you ready for tomorrow.” Oh, it’s the same woman that did my hair and got me dolled up for my funeral. I guess it makes sense, she’ll probably know what the family approves of. “Sounds nice, she was nice..” I look down at the ground not wanting to meet his eyes. San gently turns my face in his direction with his eyebrows softly furrowed “What’s wrong angel eyes? Are you okay?” I sigh and lean into his touch “I’m scared. What if they hate me?” San gently caresses my cheek with his thumb “Babe, I promise they won’t hate you. I’ll just tell them you’re not involved in the business so they won’t ask you any questions over who you're affiliated with and who you work for.” Wait, does that mean he’s going to tell his mom about us? “Wait, why would you tell your mom that? Are you going to tell her about us?”

He nods and takes both my hands gently bringing them up to his lips “Of course, but I’m still going to tell her not to speak on it to anyone and to pretend you and I are simply colleagues in the eyes of others but she’ll know.” San lies alot, which worries me. If he easily lies over the smallest things like this does that mean he’ll easily lie to me? “You’re lying again.” He dryly laughs and pulls me closer to him “My mother won’t speak I promise, if she was able to keep my dad’s deepest darkest secrets I’m sure she can keep our relationship a secret. I felt like it’s something we should do before you’re gone, I want at least someone to know about us..” if only he knew that someone does know, just not who he thinks it is. He leans in and gives me a quick peck making sure no one was around then gently pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear “You trust me right?” Stupidly enough, like always my brain decides to completely betray me and respond without thinking “I do.” He gently kisses my forehead and softly says in a low voice “My beautiful angel.” Everytime he calls me that it makes me melt, and I think he knows that.

“I’m going to give you a more dramatic look today, obviously still within the likes of Mrs. Choi” Nari gently works in some sort of eye primer on my eyes using a soft brush and begins to work on my eye makeup. After a few minutes of her working her magic I have a sudden urge to ask her a question “Nari, I have a question..” She softly hums and I clasp my hands together  “Do you know Mrs. Choi and San’s sister?” I concentrate on the gentle brush strokes to calm me down for some reason slightly afraid of her answers “I do, they’re very sweet. I work with them quite often actually. I just saw them this morning.” I quietly hum then Nari continues “How come? Are you worried about something?” I let out a soft sigh “Well, I’m scared they might not like me. I heard what the mother did to one of San’s exes and ordered for her assassination.”

The older woman clicks her tongue “Well, do you know what happened?” What happened? What does she mean? Does she mean that woman did something to upset San’s mother? “Uh, I mean no. Not really that’s honestly all I could dig up, besides San’s never mentioned any of his exes so I genuinely don’t know the full situation” Nari pops her gum followed by the smile in her voice “I can tell you, I’ve been working for the Choi family for years…” I softly gasp and open my eyes “Wait, for how long?” Nari gives me a soft smile “ I was hired personally by Mrs. Choi ten years ago, ever since then I’ve been doing her and her daughter’s makeup for public events..”

Nari gently has me close my eyes again and continues “Anyway, as you know her name was Hae Jihye she and San dated for a few years. I believe it was about 5 or so years but they eventually became engaged, both were pretty young but since the Choi family was so well off Mrs. Choi encouraged them to get married. She was very fond of Jihye up until San found out she was secretly seeing another man and stealing money from him and ordering shady dealings without double checking these were allies and not possible undercover cops. Up until her death she always said it was because San never gave her attention and because she felt lonely but everyone close to the Choi’s know he treated her like his princess. He would have brought her the moon if she so wanted, he gave her everything. Open.”

I open my eyes and see Nari begins to fill in my eyebrows and continues “Anyway, it so just happened the real reason was that she thought San was a huge pushover and was only planning on marrying him for his money and the Choi’s heavy influence. She wanted to be someone important since she came from a poor background.” Poor San, he gave his heart to this woman and she stomped all over it… “So when Mrs. Choi caught wind of it thanks to San’s best friend Wooyoung she began to conspire against Jihye. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..” Nari smooths out some sort of face primer on my skin, her hands being gentle against my skin then quickly begins to work on my base “She got Kang Yeosang, one of San’s associates to carry out the assasination and right as she was exiting the beauty salon she was shot and killed. Just to add insult to injury Mrs. Choi sent the hand of Jihye’s secret lover to her grieving family along with a note that read “Hope you enjoy this small gift!” and that was that. ”

I look at Nari giving her a very unnerved expression “Wow that's…heavy.” Nari nods while gently powdering my face “So lesson of the story is don't be an opportunist and Mrs. Choi will be kind.”  I know Nari and San said Mrs. Choi is nice but I can't keep myself from thinking she's going to find something she doesn't like. What a great time to overthink. “Actually, San doesn't want to tell her about me being a cop..” Nari begins to gently apply my lipstick with small gentle strokes “Sweetheart I think you should just be honest, I mean you've been all over the news recently. I'm sure Mrs. Choi knows exactly who you are.” Oh my gosh how could I forget about that?! She's right, it's going to be a horrible look if I lie to her right from the start.

“I should let San know, you know like about me not wanting to lie to his mom not what happened with Jihye. I'll definitely never mention her ever.” Nari then raises her eyebrows “So, are you going to tell his mom you two are thing?” Her question catching me off guard I almost choke on my own saliva causing me to swallow quite hard. For a moment, I struggle how to answer until I finally but hesitantly respond “Well honestly, I think it’s a bad idea that I tell her we’re together especially if she knows I'm a cop. Despite how nice she is, she has too much history between my previous boss and her family, not the good kind either. Knowing she’s willing to kill I think I’m going to steer clear from her radar as cowardly as it seems.” Nari rests her hand on her hip “So, what do you plan to do?” I sigh “Well, continue to keep it a secret.”

Nari furrows her eyebrows and crosses her arms in front of her chest “But for how much longer? You know, Mrs. Choi isn’t getting any younger and eventually she’s going to ask San to marry again. You do understand right?” She’s right, Mrs. Choi is definitely going to ask San to marry only it makes sense for him to marry of someone of his status and the same lifestyle as his. As much as I love and I’m in love with him, we’re too different to be in each other's life in the long run and only confirms what I've been thinking this whole time which is to just enjoy it while it lasts. “I do, which is why I'm going to backtrack telling her about our relationship but not who I am. That I can't lie about, as scary as It is.” gives me a soft smile “Well, it's settled.. Also, we should get started on your hair. Your dress should be arriving sometime soon!” I nod and let out a nervous sigh. I have to brace myself for everything. I will try my best to look like a good person.

Later after Nari is done with my hair, makeup and dressing me I look in the mirror and honestly just like the first time I'm not disappointed in what I’m seeing just a little weirded out that I can look this good. My hair was loosely curled, like those gorgeous movie stars on tv, the makeup was light (For my taste at least) so that it complimented my features. Meanwhile the dress that was picked out for me was a satin strapless asymmetric neckline dress with a high slit on the right side of the dress luckily it was a long dress so it covered my legs really nicely and it wasn’t as showy as I thought it’d be considering how high the slit is. Finally to cover up my wound Nari carefully drapes a gorgeous white fur wrap over my shoulders. Nari steps behind me and hands me a black pair of designer high heels. It’s those shoes that movie stars wear, the ones with the red soles. I let out a gasp and carefully take the shoes as if they were made of glass “Nari, are you sure?” Nari smirks “Of course I’m sure, you’re wearing vintage Mugler.. You can’t just wear any old pair of shoes.” I give her a nervous smile and carefully put on my black high heeled shoes. Nari then steps back and gives me a proud smile “You look amazing y/n, I hope you feel as pretty as you look. “ I smooth out the soft fabric beneath my fingers and nod “I do, thank you for everything..” The older woman smiles and shakes her head “Thank San, he asked me to do this for you.”

Of course he did, this man is all about the details. Now it was about that time I look for San so that I could talk to him about what to say to his mother. Right after exiting my room I'm soon greeted by a dressed up Jongho who’s jaw immediately drops “Wow, you look amazing y/n. I uh- San is waiting up front, he asked me to guide you into the car.” I give Jongho a smile and tease him “You might want to pick your jaw up from the floor or a fly will go in there.” Jongho chuckles and leads the way while I silently walk behind him. Awkwardly enough I had to walk into that tattoo shop dressed like this but unlike before all eyes were on me which made me alot more nervous so I gently hold onto Jongho’s arm so that I wouldn’t risk embarrassing myself in case I trip over my dress. Once outside I realize it was beginning to get dark out that’s when Jongho opens the door to the expensive looking car and lo and behold San was there.

His hair was now cut shorter than before with a small strand of hair framing his face, whilst he wore a white dress shirt with a few buttons undone and a buttoned up black vest, a back blazer, with matching slacks and shoes. He looked so immaculate and perfect, that In the moment I think I almost forgot why I was even there to begin with until San gently grabs my hand and gently tugs on it. I blink a few times and it’s like I rebooted remembering where and why I was there. San gives me a small dimpled smile and I get into the car sitting next to him. His cologne slowly bringing me back to reality “You look gorgeous angel eyes.” I glance over at him, his eyes looking at me like he was devouring me with his gaze which was making me painfully shy, that is until I remember I needed to tell him something. San gently reaches for my exposed thigh and gently squeezes causing my ears to begin to burn and I mindlessly respond “And you look handsome Sannie..”

San leans in and gently kisses me whilst his hand squeezes my thigh a little harder leaving me to let out a soft sigh whilst he deepens the kiss. I only allow myself to indulge in the kiss for a few more seconds until I gently pull away while gently pushing him away. He gives me a confused look then furrows his brows “Angel eyes are you okay?” I nod and gently smooth out my dress “Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something before we arrive at your sister’s party.” He gently takes my hand and nods “Sure, what is it?” I glance over at San whose eyes were soft again, a complete one eighty from a few seconds ago “We should just tell your mom that I’m a cop, you know it’ll be much easier than lying” San looks at me slightly worried and looks down gently rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand “Um, I don’t know about that..” I tilt my head “How come? Is it because I’m going back to the station next week? You know she’s probably seen the news..”

San lets out a sigh and stares down at my hand for a few moments before he briefly glances back up at me me then says in a lower almost worried tone “That’s why, because I’m sure she’ll like you but once she realizes you’re a cop she’s going to bombard you with questions..Assumptions.” I reach over and take San’s handsome face in my hands gently caressing his soft skin “And that’s okay, it’s valid on her part considering the previous history between cops and your family. I understand.” He gently takes my hand in his lovingly squeezing it “Are you positive you’re going to be okay with the questions?” I nod giving him a reassuring smile “Of course Sannie, let’s just be honest for once. This is something so important to me that I want to be honest out of respect to your mother and our relationship, please. Just this once I don’t want to lie about something I can’t hide. I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not even if your mother ends up hating me for it, it’s the risk i’m willing to take.”

San gives me a dimpled smile, takes my hands from his face and gently kisses them “You really do have a heart of gold angel eyes.. No matter how hard things get your intentions are always well intentioned.” I look down and press my lips into a curt smile “One more thing.” San gently turns my face to face him "What’s that?” Not wanting to meet his eyes I look down at the collar of his shirt “I thought about it and I don’t want your mother to find out about us.” San gives me a confused look “Wait- but..” I nod “I know, I just said that I didn’t want us to lie but I was talking about things I can’t hide.. Besides we’re technically not lying if you just don’t mention it.” slightly upset San takes my arm and tightly squeezes it but only enough to get my attention “But you agreed with me yesterday, why the sudden change of mind?” I shrug “I don’t know I just did a lot of thinking and it doesn’t make sense to come clean right now, it’s too soon.”

San lifts up my chin to meet his eyes while holding on to my arm, they were sad with a hint of anger. He looked genuinely hurt, but now it’s complicated. I need to see how his mom will react to the news of me being a cop, then I’ll know my answer. I need to tread lightly with this family because I truly don’t know their intentions. For all I know this is all a part of San’s plan to get me to trust him then get me killed once I do. Even then I doubt San will hold on much longer, Nari is right his mom is probably looking for someone he could marry right this moment which is why he wants to tell his mother. “As much as I strongly feel the complete opposite, I'll respect your wishes. I understand you’re nervous.” I sigh “I’m sorry but can you blame me? Any regular person would be terrified considering how powerful your family is. I don’t want to fuck up.”

San loosens his grip on my arm “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to do all these things so fast. It’s just-” He shuts his eyes and rests his head on my shoulder and lets out a long sigh “It’s my mom, she’s been looking into having me marry the Iceman’s daughter, Jisu.” I furrow my eyebrows “Why?..” He stares down at himself gently squeezing and holding onto my forearm “Business.. And because she’s close friends with Iceman’s wife.” Wow, yeah. I think involving myself even more will be a death sentence. What if she has me killed because she wants San to marry into her friend’s family? “Ah, I see.” I stiffly nod. I knew it, his mom already has eyes for someone. San raises his gaze and looks at me with concern painting his features “You’re upset aren’t you?” I shake my head and fake a laugh “No, I mean I saw it coming. I understand.”

San gives me a very unamused look  then the driver driving our vehicle clears his throat and says  “Sorry for the interruption boss, but we’re here.” San nods slightly detached still fixated on my expression “Yeah, okay. Thanks Woosik.” I feel horrible pissing him off but I think this is it. I’m so cowardly. Almost as if a switch went off he gently takes my hand and kisses the back of it “I’ll introduce you as a colleague okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable let alone feel like i’m forcing you to do things you don’t want to..” I nod and lean in to gently kiss his cheek then I give him a soft smile “Thank you..”

San’s expression brightens up a bit and gives me a small dimpled smile “Are you ready angel?” I nod and he gives me a sweet smile. Next to me the door opens and a very well dressed man helps me out of the car and soon after San steps out right behind me. He then gently rests his hand on the small of my waist and gently guides me to the big mansion, that house.. It’s huge. The Choi family is loaded. It’s everything you would have imagined in a mansion: the fountain, the gates, the two sculptures near the entrance, the beautiful decorative trees adorning the front of the house.

The times I’ve been to houses like this is usually when we’re going to arrest someone or when we’re investigating the murder of a high profile person which isn’t very often so to see this gorgeous house and being dressed in designer from head to toe, it makes me feel like I'm in some sort of movie. Once we’re inside the faint sound of classical music fills the air along with the high class ambience immediately making me straighten up my posture. All the people here look expensive, it also kind of freaks me out knowing that 90 percent of the people here are more than likely white collar criminals. I look over in San’s direction slightly worried only for him to give me a small reassuring smile. ”Follow me.” I grab onto the sleeve of his blazer following behind him quietly whilst he makes his way to presumably his mother. 

We approach a gorgeous older woman who obviously didn’t look her age but could tell her age based off of what she was wearing, which was a long semi fitted dark blue dress with a high neck “Mother, I’m here.” The woman turns her attention away from the woman she was speaking to and gasps “Sannie, you made it..” San pulls the shorter woman in his arms and hugs her tightly “You know I’d never miss my sister’s birthday.” She pulls back gently cupping her hands on his face with a smile. “My son, my strong handsome son.” Both him and his mother chuckle then she pulls away and looks around us “Where’s Wooyoungie sweetie? Last time I talked to him he said he’d come..”

San takes Mrs. Choi’s hand “Ah, yeah about that. Wooyoung couldn’t make it tonight he had a personal emergency.” Mrs. Choi worriedly furrows her brows “Oh my- Is he okay?” San nods giving his mother a reassuring pat “He is he’s fine, he’s just dealing with a few private matters that couldn’t be postponed and were very last minute.” Wow, he’s good at lying to his own mother too that’s actually scary. He’s not even hesitating. The mother understandably nods “Well I hope whatever it is I hope he sorts it out soon..” Mrs. Choi then turns  in my direction, for a few seconds she examines my face then she says “Oh hello, wow who is this gorgeous girl Sannie?”

I reach out and shake his mother’s hand politely smiling “Hello Mrs. Choi I am Detective y/n y/ln, I’m one of Mr. Choi’s current colleagues. His connection to the Ulwood PD. ” His mother’s eyes widen slightly then quickly composes herself before San says “She’s been a great help helping me track Lee and his other people..” For a few moments San’s mother stares at me “Are you really working for the Aurora Syndicate? Are you sure you don’t secretly work for the police to turn my son in?” San chuckles gently patting his mother’s back “She’s fine mother, I made sure of it. Besides she has her own grudges against Lee, I promise you she won’t betray us.” Mrs. Choi nods “You’re that detective that was found dead aren’t you?” I nod and lightheartedly chuckle “Yeah, that’s me. So you have no worries about me turning on anyone.” Mrs. Choi looks over at San and smiles “Look at you, giving that old bastard a taste of his own medicine. You’re definitely your father’s son.” San nervously laughs “Mom..” 

A gorgeous long dark brown haired woman approaches us, her eyes were sultry and had a very mysterious and intimidating energy surrounding her. Her gaze looking straight at San, almost like he was some sort of target to her. “Hello, how are you on this lovely evening?” Mrs. Choi turns in said woman’s direction and smiles “Jisu sweetheart, hello how are you? I’m glad you could make it!” Jisu smiles and reaches for Mrs. Choi’s hand and gently pats it “Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I’m glad I could be here for Haneul’s big day.” Mrs. Choi smiles “Thank you” Jisu looks back at San and smiles in his direction “Is this the infamous Choi San?” Mrs. Choi chuckles and gently pats San’s shoulder then San responds slightly hesitant “Yeah, you must be Jisu. My mother’s mentioned you before.” Jisu reaches over to shake San’s hand and for a moment her hand shake lingers.

A bit shocked she’s holding onto his hand and not letting go until he pulls away his hand and puts it in his pocket. Mrs. Choi looks at both San and Jisu “I did, did I also mention you’re both the same age? I’m sure you two would get along very well.” Jisu looks in San’s direction tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear “Of course we will, San seems like a person I’d get along with perfectly. He’s so hardworking and it shows.” Jisu smirks then shifts her gaze over to me where her smirk slowly disappears then she softly laughs “Oh my- I’m sorry hello, who are you?” I give Jisu curt smile and extend my hand “Detective y/n y/l, I’m currently working for Mr. Choi.” She raises her eyebrow “My, my I didn’t know San was willing to be risky, you feds are hard to trust. Nine times out of ten you have ulterior motives.” I chuckle feeling the venomous intent behind her words. “Well then I guess I’m the 1 out of 10 who has no ulterior motives. Mr. Choi knows he’s in good hands trusting me. Am I right Mr. Choi?”

I turn to him giving him a small smile. San immediately picks up on what I was trying to do and responds “Of course, she’s shown me her loyalty multiple times. At the end of the day we both have the same goal so why not team up with someone like minded.” Jisu hums then shrugs “Well, as long as you’re confident that’s all that matters.” Mrs. Choi gently takes my arm and says “San, I need to have a word with Detective y/ln. Do you mind keeping Jisu company?” San looks at me sympathetically then back at his mother “Ah, yes mother.” Jisu looks in my direction, smirking almost like she knew this was something I couldn’t get myself out of. Almost like she expected the worst. I’m worried. Did I say something wrong? 

Mrs. Choi quietly walks me out of the room the party was being held in and once outside in the hallway she lets go of my arm. Expecting her to maybe say something she continues walking in silence unnerving me even more as the seconds go by. I walk behind her until we enter the big marbled floor living room, she motions me to sit down on the expensive looking velvet couch which I oblige. She walks over to the small cocktail table and serves us both drinks, I'm presuming whiskey. At this point I’m beginning to get very impatient. What exactly was the reason I was pulled away from everyone else. What is she going to tell me? She sets my drink on the coffee table then sits across from me while she holds her whiskey in her hand. I clear my throat running my fingers along the soft fabric of my dress “So, uh what did you want to talk about Mrs Choi?” She takes a small sip of her drink the gently rests it on her lap ”So you said you work for the Ulwood police department correct?” I nod carefully clasping my hands together and gently resting them on my knees “Yes, correct ma’am” She swirls her drink in the heavy crystal glass whilst I carefully reach for my drink on the table “In the police department? I work under Captain Steven Lee Ma’am.”

She’s not going to like this..I know it. She slightly raises her eyebrow “Very interesting…You do know your Captain killed my husband right?” I nod looking down at my drink slightly bowing my head “Ah, yes Mrs. Choi I was the one in charge of the case. We arrested the people who were involved in the murder.” Like San, his mother has a very intense stare only this time making me very more nervous knowing the lengths his mother is willing to go for her son so I can only imagine what she'd do for her husband. “That you did. Unfortunately you missed the main culprit.” Her words felt like swords stabbing right through me. Words that immediately make my stomach drop.

“I’m aware Mrs. Choi, unfortunately when San showed me what Captain Lee was really up to everything finally made sense. He purposely would steer things away from anything that he thought would get him caught, at the time my partner and I didn’t really understand why he wanted to be so heavily involved in the case since usually he’d be the one to usually just assign them and just stick to focusing on the department’s strategy. So I assure you I didn’t know anything until I met San.” Mrs. Choi stares at me unmoved, a complete 180 from when she was with San and Minia. “I understand, I'm sure that bastard has everyone back at the station fooled..” I nod respectfully agreeing “Yes, unfortunately even the best one among us got fooled. Which is why I’m working with San to put that man down.”

God, I sound so pathetic saying it like that. “So what’s your reason for helping my son? What did Steven do to you?” There’s the question I was waiting for. I let out a long sigh then I meet Mrs. Choi’s eyes finally lifting my gaze to meet hers “Well, San kidnapped me to get Captain Lee back but unfortunately he gave up trying to get me back once he realized he was going to have to expose his crimes to everyone so instead he left me for dead in hopes San gave up threatening him and I’d get killed. Luckily San did the opposite and instead had me pretend I was dead, which unfortunately caused me to lose everything I had; friends, family, career, my home..” With the last words quietly being trailed off from my throat growing a huge knot. Is she going to sympathize with a cop? Someone who works under the man who killed her husband?

Mrs. Choi’s gaze grows a bit soft and sets down her half filled glass on the arm rest of her seat “I am so sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how many more people are suffering at the hands of Steven.” She’s right there are probably quite a few people getting blackmailed to do his dirty work for him. No doubt. “I just want to make sure you mean well working with my son, because if your intentions are not pure- and please do not take offense but a mother will do everything in her power to protect her son no matter who it’s against.” Ah, just what I was dreading. Nice. “ I understand Mrs. Choi, you have my promise there will be no moves on my part against San. I’m fully on the Aurora Syndicate’s side, you have my word.” Mrs. Choi Smiles “ I have one last question for you y/n.” I nod, taking a sip of my drink, the warmth slowly trickling down my throat and to my stomach. Yep, definitely whiskey. “Sure Mrs. Choi go ahead.”

She gives me a mischievous smile her finger tracing along the rim of her drink “So y/n what do you really think about my son?” I run my finger under the crystal glass trying my hardest to stay calm “Hm, like as a person?” Mrs. Choi warmly smiles clearly trying her best to get me to open up “As a man sweetheart.” My throat tightens causing me to clear my throat. “Oh, uh I mean he’s very handsome, and of course very kind.” Wait, why is she asking me this? “He definitely is, he takes a lot from his father…” Wait that’s all she was going to ask? I mean yeah it’s kinda weird but that’s it? “There’s one thing I will tell you is that my son tends to be quite flirty sometimes and I want you to pay no mind to him” No mind to him? Like ignore him? “Uh- Could you elaborate Mrs. Choi?” She sighs “To be frank, I don’t want you to get involved with my son. I understand you’re working with him but just leave it at that. Nothing more.” Is she really starting to pin this on me? Like I know it's true but oh my gosh how does she know? What gave it away…I need to convince her otherwise or I'll be in big trouble.

“My apologies for asking Mrs. Choi but why?” Mrs. Choi scoffs then retorts in a venomous tone “Because I don’t trust you. No matter what Steven Lee did to you, you’re still working under him. I don’t want San to fall for the same bullshit my husband fell for with Steven. That tragedy is not going to repeat itself again.” I carefully set my glass back onto the glass coffee table and I shake my head “I assure you that’s not going to happen Mrs. Choi. San and I have grown to be very close friends from sharing the same hatred for one person and the last thing I'd ever do is betray him. If anything I owe him my life.” Mrs. Choi seems unconvinced from my plea. “Then know that your place here which is only to help my son get rid of the man who killed my husband and not being romantically involved with him.” I drink the remaining whiskey in my glass in one go to prepare myself “Again, my apologies but I never explicitly stated my feelings towards Mr. Choi. I only really said he’s good looking and has a great heart.”

The woman rolls her eyes at me like just told her the stupidest thing on Earth “You were the one my son was shopping for. I asked you if you were the deceased detective because my son was telling me he was shopping for someone special. The problem is one of his associates let it slip that the girl he was shopping for was “the detective” After a bit of pondering I put two and two together. The last time my son went out of his way to spoil someone like that he was engaged to his former sweetheart.” I’m guessing San is not the type to gift just anyone, they have to be special to him. In that case, I'm special to him.. Wow. “You’re not wrong about your son getting me things, that’s true. That’s only because I needed them. What’s not true is my relationship with him. We’re simply friends.”

Without hesitation Mrs. Choi throws her drink at my face and gets up looking down at me “Don’t get smart with me, stay away from my son.” Her heels clack away little by little becoming more faint while I blankly stare down at the marbled floor in disbelief, my eyes blinking rapidly from the alcohol burning my eyes. She really knows. It's like she stays out of San’s business in front of him but behind his back she gets rid of people she deems useless for her son.. It’s probably why San is insisting of only a few people knowing his true plans. Unfortunately I understand her fear of trusting a cop, it’s completely validated. The thing is I’m not liking how this played out, we’re off to a bad start. Judging from the small things San would tell me about his mother, she seemed nice but now not so much. At least not when you get on her bad side. 

Eventually I manage to clear my eyes, my face and ears are burning out of embarrassment. My lap and chest wet from the whiskey, once I manage to stand up I walk back into the party.  I let out a long sigh and look around, trying to ignore the wet dress against my skin and my hair and makeup feeling gross. Maybe I should get San out of talking to that girl. He didn’t seem too comfortable with her. I walk around looking for San not really paying attention ahead of me until I accidentally bump into someone with my shoulder causing me to hiss in pain tightly clutching onto my wounded shoulder. “I’m sorry, are you okay? y/n?”

I look up and notice a worried Seonghwa staring down at me whilst the other people he was talking to just silently stare at me. Gosh, I’m so glad to have found someone I recognize. Walking around with a bunch of people I don’t know was starting to make me really uncomfortable considering how horrid I probably look. “I’m fine, sorry I was looking for San. He was with a girl.” Seonghwa raises his eyebrow then he excuses himself from the people he was talking to and walks a few steps away from them pulling me aside “A girl?” I nod looking around trying to see if maybe San was anywhere close by. “Yeah, her name is Jisu, really pretty, looks like a model.” Seonghwa slowly nods “Ah, yes. His mother is trying to set them up..” He looks around and steers me in the opposite direction I was walking “I think for now it’s best you don’t interrupt them, you don’t want to upset Mrs. Choi.”

I glance over at Seonghwa and scoff looking away, feeling the tears in my eyes making them sting “I already did that, can’t you see my makeup is all runny?” Seonghwa turns my face in his direction and slightly squints, gently pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear inspecting my face “Your makeup is fine surprisingly, your hair though. It’s a bit-” I look down clearly embarrassed “I know, ugly..” Seonghwa warmly smiles and takes out the handkerchief in his breast pocket gently patting my face and hair dry “No- I mean your hair looks wet.. What happened?” I close my eyes for a bit to force my tears back into my eyes when I open them I pull his hand towards the exit “I can’t say it here.. Can we go outside?” Seonghwa gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “Before we go, are you hurt? Do we need to get Jongho?”

I look under the fur wrap at my wound and shake my head “No, I’m fine. I just bumped it a little.”  He reaches over and links my arm around his “Alright good, this is so you don’t fall by the way. Those shoes look like an accident waiting to happen.” I roll my eyes and laugh “You do know I wear heeled shoes to work sometimes, I have no issues walking on high heels.” He shrugs stifling a laugh “So? What if you fall? In front of all these people..”

Well he’s right, that would be embarrassing and I’ve been embarrassed enough tonight “Okay fine..” Seonghwa starts to guide me out the door until we step outside the chilly evening. “Geez, it’s kind of cold.” I slightly shiver and hug myself standing behind one of the statues at the top of the stairs leading to the door. Seonghwa unbuttons his blazer about to take it off before I panickily mumble “No please, it’s okay…” Seonghwa looks at me for a moment and asks “Are you sure? I don’t want you to catch a cold..” I shake my head forcing a smile “I won’t I promise.” He stands next to me clearing his throat “So, what happened?” I look down and let out a soft sigh and for the first time tonight I begin to really process what happened making my throat grow a knot again. For a few moments I struggle to get the words out until I finally blurt out “San’s mother, she hates me.” Seonghwa gives me a very concerned look “What? Mrs. Choi? How?..” Slightly frustrated I hug myself tighter, tears now rolling down my cheeks “ She found out about me and San, she doesn’t want me to be romantically involved with him because she thinks I’m going to get into his head and basically be the downfall for their business..”

Seonghwa lets out a sigh and pulls me into a hug “I’m so sorry y/n. Did she find out through you or-” I sniffle and pull away looking up at an uneasy Seonghwa “I tried to deny it, but she found out through a slip up with one of the associates, not sure who it was but they referred to me as “the detective” when talking to his mother over who San was shopping for..” Seonghwa lets out a long sigh and rubs his forehead slightly frustrated “San’s going to get pissed..” Once he lets out his small frustration he gently pats my head gently pushing it back onto his chest “Do you want to leave? We don’t have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” While my head gently rests on Seonghwa’s chest I look at the entrance for a few long seconds “I don’t know, I feel like maybe I need to go tell San over what happened with his mother. He seemed pretty worried when she asked me to talk.”

Seonghwa gently clears the stray hairs on my face “San will understand, don't worry. I can call him and let him know that I’m taking you home.” I worriedly look at Seonghwa “Are you sure? You don’t have to, you can just give me the keys and I can drive myself.” He chuckles and gently pats my head “It doesn’t bother me, I promise. Besides I can’t let a girl looking as pretty as you drive herself home alone.” Seonghwa pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolls on his phone for a bit then puts his cellphone to his ear, where you can faintly hear the dial tone until you hear San’s voice “Hey, y/n isn’t feeling too well. I’m taking her home.” San’s voice responds but I can’t make out what he’s saying, only that he sounded a bit annoyed. Seonghwa then responds “She’s not feeling too well being here-” Suddenly Seonghwa stops talking while San says something to which Seonghwa tensely responds “Ah, okay then we’ll be out in the front waiting.”

San curtly responds then the call ends rendering Seonghwa to awkwardly let out a sigh putting his cell phone away then slowly pulls back and looks at me forcing a smile “Change of plans, San’s going to take you instead. He asked me to stay and talk to some investors.” I raise an eyebrow “What? I thought he was busy.” Seonghwa gently pats my head and chuckles “Well, I guess he’s not too busy for you. Which is good, maybe he’ll learn to take time to himself instead of working all the time.” Seonghwa looked kind of upset now, although he’s really good at hiding it; his tense body language and his faint darkened mood replaces his usual warm and caring demeanor which is what gave it away. “I’m sorry, for bothering you Hwa.” Seonghwa gives me a faint smile then turns to look at the horizon.

The sky being painted a beautiful shade of sparkly dark blue now as opposed to earlier. “You don't need to, if anything I'm glad we bumped into each other. You needed someone after that encounter with Mrs. Choi, I know right now you’re holding back trying not to cry as much as you’d like.” Unfortunately he’s right, I can’t bawl my eyes out like a child here. Not only would that be embarrassing for me but I know it’ll be embarrassing for San as well. “Yeah, considering what my job is, I kind of have to keep it together even if I am a crybaby when I’m alone.” Seonghwa glances over at me “Just know with me you never have to hold back, I know we still don’t know each other very well but I’m here.” Seonghwa has always been very kind, although I feel weird confiding in him now considering how we’ve gone through the unfortunate situation of him seeing my true relationship with San. I guess it’s nice knowing I have a friend in these situations “Thank you, it means a lot.” Seonghwa gently nudges my arm “So are you going to tell San what happened with his mother?”

I stare at the ground for a few good seconds, before I’m even able to say anything the front door opens followed by “y/n are you okay?” I glance up and it’s a worried San hurriedly walking in my direction, Seonghwa steps aside letting him stand next to me where he reaches over for my arm. “Uh..” Seonghwa looks at the both of us then slightly bows in San’s direction “I’m off, I hope you make it home safely y/n” I give him a reassuring smile then Seonghwa looks in San’s direction  “I was keeping y/n company but now that you’re here-” San pats Seonghwa’s back turns him towards the door “Yeah I’ll call you if I need anything, thanks for keeping an eye on her.” Seonghwa forces a smile and excuses himself without saying anything else. What was that? 

“Why didn’t you let Seonghwa just take me home? Weren’t you on a date?” San dryly chuckles “What? No.. I mean I was with Jisu but I promise you it wasn’t a date. I was just appeasing my mother since I really didn’t want to upset her here.” San takes my hand gently pressing his lips onto the back of my hand  “Enough of me though, what happened?” I let out a long sigh and start walking down the stairs “We have to get out of here, I’m not risking anyone overhearing us no matter how “Safe” it is here. “ San follows behind not letting go of my arm “Wait, is it really that bad? Was it some asshole that said something to you or was it my mother?” San’s last words render me to make the knot in my throat break knowing damn well I wasn’t going to make it without crying. “Baby?” San stands still causing me to be pulled into a complete halt “Look at me, it’s okay. I’m here, I'm not going anywhere.” He pulls me into his arms where he gently presses his lips on my shoulder “Don’t cry, please. We’ll go into the car and talk about this okay?”

San digs into his pocket where after a few moments I hear the sound of his car beeping which was luckily nearby. He pulls back cupping my face looking into my eyes, his usual intimidating gaze is now soft trying his hardest to comfort me “Come on baby, car’s over there.” He grabs my hand and we walk to the car whilst I quietly sniffle behind him. When we finally get to his car he opens the door to his expensive looking car and lets me in.  Surprisingly it wasn’t a sports car but a luxury car that looked like it cost more than the average person’s yearly income. I better not let any tears fall onto the seat if that’s the case. Once San enters the car and closes the door behind him he turns in my direction and reaches for my hand “Okay, now tell me what happened?” Still teary eyes and without even letting silence run by that long I blurt out “Your mother knows about us San, the thing is she’s not happy about it.” San furrows his eyebrows “Wait? What? How?” I shrug blinking back my tears “From what she told me is that one of your associates let it slip.” San’s gaze darkens which is the look I was most afraid of seeing. “Who was it, I need names y/n..”

I shake my head my tears running down my cheeks while I slightly stumble. “I don’t know that’s just what she told me, she specifically said he referred to me as “the detective” and of course she pieced it together saying that you don’t usually go out of your way to gift anyone anything especially if it’s a woman. She said that when you asked her for advice on how find a dress she asked you who you were shopping for to which you simply responded “Someone special” which gave her a hint of what type of relationship it was” San stays silent gently rubbing his thumb on my hand whilst he listens. “She also said she didn’t want anything between us because she doesn’t want a repeat of what happened to your father which I understand and I guess to explain my wet hair she kind of threw her drink at me.” The air changed, he’s upset. I can feel it. 

He clenches his jaw while he bounces his leg trying to dissipate the anger. He sits there in silence for a few seconds before he finally gets up and exits the car angrily. Terrified of making it worse I get out of the car and speed walk behind him “Please, don’t tell her anything..” He silently walks in the direction of his home most. I speed walk a little faster finally catching up to him immediately reaching for his hand with tears blurring my vision. “San! Please!” He comes to a halt once those words leave my lips and halts glaring at the Choi’s property, his eyes seething with anger. I stand in front of him and tighten my grip on his hand. “Please, let’s just go. It’s okay, I just need you to be with me that’s all..” San’s gaze stays fixed to the house in silence until he finally utters  “I really am sorry y/n, I’m so sorry my mother treated you like this. You didn’t deserve this at all, you have no idea how much it pisses me off. I could have avoided this happening to you had I gone with you instead of obeying my mother. I trusted she wouldn’t pull something like this..” I walk into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure it out. We don’t want to ruin your sister’s day do we?” San’s eyes remain angry and cold while holding onto me.

Once I manage to get him to get back in the car San practically glares ahead of him then turns on his car anger seething through him. “Put your seatbelt on we’re getting the fuck out of here.” Obeying him I immediately pull the seatbelt over myself clicking it into place “Where are we going?��� He grumbles “Somewhere that’s not here.” He pulls out of the driveway and the tires screech as we drive through the gates and back to the long pathway leading out of the Choi’s property. I notice San’s tight grip on the shift gear making the veins in his arms pop out that’s when I reach over and rest my hand over his  “I’ll be fine, it hurt but I’ll be okay. I’ve been treated much worse.” San looks ahead keeping his eyes on the road but still very clearly upset “You don’t understand y/n , all my life my mother’s been like a saint to me. In my eyes she could do no wrong because that’s how much respect I have towards her. The thing is this time she’s wrong, you’re nothing like Lee, you’re a godsend, someone I was so happy to have met even if they were all under the wrong circumstances. My angel.” I gently hug San’s arm whilst holding onto his hand “See? All it matters is that you recognize it.” I still hate that his mom ended up hating me, but I saw it coming. “I know, I just wish she saw what I see in you, the sweet, hardworking and strong woman that I fell for.” I gently squeeze his hand on the gear shift and kiss his cheek “She will.” She won’t, and I know that because I know you’ll go on to marry someone who fits your lifestyle. 

“So Mr. Choi, where are we going?” He gives me a dimpled smile while keeping his eyes on the road “Hm, is there anywhere in particular you want to go angel?” I hum watching the cars ahead of us pass by “I’ll go wherever you go Sannie, just being with you makes me happy.” He quickly leans in and kisses my forehead before he says “Take a nap baby, you had a long day. I’ll wake you up when we get there hm?” I adjust in my seat resting my head against the head rest and cross my arms in front of my chest. As soon as I close my eyes close San lets out a groan “Why’d you let go of my hand?” I open my eyes and look over at a pouty San “What? I was going to leave you alone so you drive comfortably”

He lets go of the gear shift and takes my hand lacing his fingers between mine “Who said I wasn’t comfortable?” I giggle “Okay fine, my mistake my pouty boy.” He feigns a pout trying not to smile but completely fails. “Ah, look it’s your dimples! Look, you're smiling!” San chuckles “No I’m not!” I reach over with my free hand and poke his dimple “Oh but Mr. Choi you are look I just poked your dimple..” San keeps his eyes on the road then gently brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand “Go to sleep detective or I'm afraid I’ll end up crashing this car if you keep distracting me with your antics.” I slowly nod stifling a laugh “Fair enough I’ll sleep, it better be good.. ” I close my eyes and pull San’s hand onto my lap, until the car’s movement lulls me to sleep.

“Wake up angel, we’re here.” San gently strokes my arm while I slowly stir awake, the distant sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore. I open my eyes and see a smiling San by now he had removed his blazer now leaving him with his vest and dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up like usual while resting his forearm at the top of the car door way “Ah, look at you. Such a beauty..” He looks over at the sand then back down at my shoes “Hm, I think you might want to take those off.” I kick off my high heels and throw my fur cover up in the back seat. “You’re right high heels in sand aren’t fun.” He gently leans in and and kisses my forehead before he helps me step out of the car. “We came to the beach..” He nods gently squeezing my hand in his “We did, do you like it? I know it’s dark right now but you can still see pretty well from the lights” I look at the waves being delicately illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

“I love it, but why exactly are we here?” San brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand while we both walk towards the beautiful ocean “I wanted to cheer you up, what happened tonight was my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go alone with my mother so I wanted to make up for it somehow even though it doesn’t undo everything that happened.” I stop us a few feet before the shore and I turn to face San, he looks down at me gently running his thumb along my cheek. I lean into his touch and hold his hand onto my face “Don’t worry. Whatever happens, happens. I’m used to hatred coming my way.” His brows inch together “You shouldn’t say that though. You should always have love coming your way because you deserve to be loved.”

I look up at him and examine his face, he’s so beautiful, just like his words. “Your words are so pretty Mr. Choi, you always manage to remind me why I love you so much.” San nervously chuckles then cups my face with one hand and pulls me close with the other “My words are only pretty to resemble the one who receives them.” He leans in and kisses me, his soft lips very tenderly latching onto mine whilst he holds me close to him. My hands slowly run up his chest while my feet slowly sink into the sand below me so I tip toe to reach around his neck, San notices this and breaks the kiss. “Having trouble baby?” I pout feeling a bit embarrassed “No..” San chuckles planting a kiss on my cheek “You’re so cute..” I pull the front of my dress up “I bet you can’t catch me..” He raises his eyebrow and smirks “I think I can.. Go ahead and get a head start..”

I stick my tongue out at him and run ahead along the beach as fast as I can while giggling knowing he was dumb enough to give me a head start. Just as quickly as I ran a gap between us he quickly catches up to me and carefully throws me over his shoulder as to not hurt my injured shoulder and slaps my butt. I loudly gasp playfully smacking his arm “San, stop!” He chuckles and slaps my butt again and defiantly squeezes it “This is fun actually. So soft.” Catching me off guard I squeal and cover my mouth embarrassed that someone might see us and pat his back. He gently lays me down on the sand the crawls on top of me and places his soft lips on mine.

We kiss for a few moments before he lays next to me and lets out a soft groan. I reach over to hold his hand and we both look up at the beautiful glittery sky where he says “Are you happy with me y/n?” I turn to look at San who was looking up at the sky his lips pressed together anticipating my answer. “Of course I am. You have no idea how happy I am every time I see you. Although we can’t really hang out like a normal couple I still really like being around you.” He holds back a smile and nods, kissing my hand for the nth time today.

“Good, because I wish you were with me a little longer. I don’t want you to go.. You’re the only one who doesn’t force me to wear the mask I have to keep on every single day since my father died.” I bite the inside of my lip and silently stare up at the sky, for a moment I don���t know how to answer. How can I? So I stay silent for a bit trying to figure out what to say, maybe.. “So, are you finally admitting that San likes to be San and not an evil criminal?” San chuckles and lets out a soft exhale “Yeah, I do like being San even if I try to hide it most of the time, it’s better than having enemies you didn’t know you had and having to keep your guard up every time you meet someone new.” I’m surprised he’s not a paranoid mess all the time with the amount of people constantly going after him.

“I’ll be your safe space. Always, just find me when you need me.” He lays down on his side propping his head on his hand “Be careful, I might kidnap you from the station and this time I won’t return you..” I boop his nose and giggle “You have to return me silly, or we won’t get rid of our mutual enemy.” He pulls my face close to his and before he pulls me in for a kiss he says “Screw that man, I want my girl by my side..” He kisses down to my neck burying his face and letting out a soft sigh. I gently stroke his now shorter dark hair without messing it up too much “You know what’s funny?” San lets out a soft hum and I continue “This dress is a vintage Mugler and I got whiskey on it and now a bunch of sand is all over it..”

San lifts his head and looks up at me “So?” I scoff and a dryly laugh “It’s ruined..” San gives me a dimpled smile “Don’t worry about it, I’ll buy it. As long as my angel is happy I don’t mind.” I blink in confusion and shock “But it’s expensive-” He gently covers my mouth “It’s fine, I promise. Besides it got ruined because of me so don’t feel bad.” He kisses my neck one last time before he lays his head back down on his arm “So, do you want to go home?” I exhaustedly hum and he gets up “Come on, I’ll carry you to the car.” I shake my head “No wait, it’s okay. I want to hold your hand again.” San helps me up raising his eyebrow “You really are a softie Detective..” I roll my eyes and lace my fingers between his. “You like it though.” San sucks his teeth “I do. Alot. Do it more often.” I glance up at him, the moonlight hitting his features at just the right angle making my heart skip a beat. “Yes Mr.Choi..” I got whiskey thrown in my face today but somehow San made me feel better. 

•································•································•

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[violetsiren90]

All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 1 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~6k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment industry; character experience and description of disassociation; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate skinship; cursing; conversations surrounding soulmates and sex; character experiences an emotional breakdown; light embarrassment; CONFLICT (you knew it was coming, right?), there is plenty of fluffy stuff too I PROMISE 😂😅

Author's Note: Wow. It's been a minute. If you're still reading this story, thank you for sticking with me, and I apologize for the stretch of time between updates. For the longest time, I just couldn't get this part right...and then it was far too long, so I split it up, and I'm still editing the second, and (potentially) third parts. I got several messages from readers who were worried I might have abandoned this fic, and let me assure you, far from it! I am not a speedy writer, and struggle with doubting if what I'm putting on the page is good enough, so sometimes it takes me a minute to update, but let me assure you, these characters are so special to me and so alive in me, and I ask thank you for your patience as I work to tell their story! Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and feedback on the story - I appreciate each and every one of them!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"I needed the light of your energy, I looked around, devouring hope."

~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

  "FUCKING FINALLY."

    "Hey, Di."

    "How dare you ghost me for the forty-eight most interesting hours of your life?!"

    "Well, I was low-key occupied..."

    "TELL ME EVERYTHING." 

     You sighed, settling down on a shaded bench in the garden grounds of the hospital to which you had escaped for a little privacy and an important phone call or two.

    "Uh oh. That was your 'things are complicated' sigh," Diana prodded.

    Your eyes tracked a swallowtail as it flitted from azalea to azalea.

    "Well, things certainly aren't conventional or straight-forward, that's for sure. But where's the fun in understanding the basic parameters of what you're getting yourself into on a life-altering scale, right?"

    "Ummmm...what does that mean? You met him, right?"

You could barely hear your sister's question over the crinkle of plastic in the background.

    "Yeah, I did. We bonded too."

    "Oh mah gah!!" Diana choked out amidst sounds of crunchy chewing. "So what's he like?"

    You thought for a moment.

    "He's kind and intelligent. Obviously extremely resilient. His presence is impressive, but he has something about him that's very disarming. He's kind of clumsy and at moments almost...shy? Like, I don't know what I expected, but there's this sweetness to him that you wouldn't anticipate from someone in his position."

    "As a cancer patient?"

    "As an idol."

    You sighed again.

    "I don't know...he's..."

    Diana let out a strangled sound and uttered an enthusiastic string of words you couldn't make out.

    "I have no idea what you just said. Could you please decide whether you want to talk to me or consume an entire bag of Doritos?" 

    "Hey, it's dinner time here!" she whined, "And I said," her voice quickly changed to take on a smug sing-song tone, "That last sigh was your smitten-kitten one..."

    "It was not!" you cut her off sharply. "And get every single idea of Namjoon and I as a couple out of that scheming head of yours because he's very much taken. I'm meeting his fiancée for lunch today."

    "What? He's engaged?"

Diana let out an exasperated huff.

"Why didn't they tell you about this right off the bat? You're going to be the soulmate of a married man? What does that even mean? This is bullshit."

    You had a hard time disagreeing with her there. It was, in fact, bullshit that Namjoon's team had kept his relationship status a secret. Would it have changed your decision? Probably not. This had been about saving Namjoon's life, not some bizarre attempt at matchmaking. But having a third person to consider, and so intimately, as part of the equation for the rest of your earthly life felt like something you should have been made more immediately aware of. Navigating your boundaries with your soulmate had already been complex enough without introducing the prospect of being a fixture in his married life. When Namjoon had breached the prospect of meeting her, he had been taken aback at your surprise - he, like you, had assumed that Hybe's representation had disclosed everything of significance.

    "So it's a good thing I came here as a lifeline, not a mail-order bride," you reminded your sister, "And that seems to be working, by the way. His vitals are already stable. They stabilized overnight, in fact. And his white blood cell count was way up this morning, which is good because I guess he was experiencing immunosuppression from the chemo."

    "Oh, nice," Diana murmured.

You had to remind yourself that she was young and excitable, and not to be annoyed at the disappointment that he crept into her tone. However, never one to be down for long, her voice brought its usual bright mischief through the speaker as she posed her following question.

    "By the way...how was bonding?"

    She had said it with an inescapably salacious undertone, which is why, you told yourself, heat had begun to creep up the base of your neck. You stammered, switching the phone from one ear to the other as you bought yourself time to reassemble your decorum. 

    "Ah...I mean...it was...intense?"

    "Ooooohhhh," Diana trilled, only making you more uncomfortable as the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks, "Intense, huh? Like in a good way?"

     You squirmed uncomfortably where you sat, thoughts of Namjoon's pleasure-stricken face and the strength of his hand and how his skin felt against your own hitting your hippocampus like a flash flood.

    "Y/n?"

    "It was fine, okay? And it worked - so that's what's important."

    "....Okaaay..." Diana drawled skeptically.

You scrambled for another talking point.

    "That kid visited. The one who came to the States - Jungkook. And another one of the members too - Jim...Jimin? I'm still trying to get their names straight. Some of them don't go by their actual names on stage - Namjoon is RM...but you knew that. Anyway, I digress. Both the boys were really sweet. Seems like they're all very close. I'm supposed to meet the rest of the members at some point next week at dinner. They wanted to have a sort of 'last supper' for us since we're probably going to start rejecting food soon."

    "That's cool, you get to meet the whole team! Oh my gosh, you're just going to casually have dinner with BTS...this is still so unreal!"

    "Yep," you affirmed, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

Namjoon had hit you with a couple of whoppers last night, but this was one you were actually looking forward to. You told Diana all about your first two days in Seoul - about the impressive hospital and its kind staff. About meeting Namjoon, and his condition. About how everything was still so fresh and new. About how so many things were still unsettled, so many questions unanswered.

    "So are you nervous?"

    "About what?"

    "Meeting his girlfriend."

    You had been so wrapped up in filling Diana in on it all that you had actually forgotten about the impending lunch date. As you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time, your stomach lurched. 

    "Shit, I better get going. It's almost eleven-thirty." You sprang up and started quickly back toward the building.

    "That wasn't an answer," Diana scoffed, "But, hey, sis?"

    "Yeah?" You pressed the "up" button on the elevator.

    "Don't be."

    You smiled.

    "Love you, Di."

    "Love you too. And so does anyone worth a damn."

    After deciding that you smelled like outside, you showered quickly then slipped into caramel-colored corduroys and an off-white tee. You rummaged around the small suitcase Matt had brought from the hotel for you in search of a sweater. After several exasperating minutes of unsuccessful digging, you heaved the bag of laundered clothes that had been returned to you by the hospital staff this morning, having gone through much of the what the Hybe staff had initially pilfered from your luggage in the last two days.

You grumbled in relief as you pulled out your dark green cardigan and slipped it over your shoulders, wondering what the hell the hospital laundry services had done to stretch it out so badly. But, you didn't have time to fuss - so you bunched up the sleeves and headed to the opposite end of the hospital's outdoor grounds where you suspected Namjoon and his guest were already waiting. 

    The hospital grounds were extensive and beautiful, sporting a garden that extended from the western wing, and a lawn punctuated by traditional pavilions to the east. He had pointed out the one he had reserved to you last night - tucked away in the shade of the large gingko trees flanking the little man-made stream that delineated the border of the grounds.

As you made your way toward the shady spot you chided yourself for being so uneasy - everyone surrounding your soulmate had been as lovely and warm and welcoming as he had been, and the woman he loved would likely be no exception. After Namjoon had disclosed that she was a musician like he was, you had done a bit of online recon before going to bed that night.

Her given name was Kim Hyung-seo, but her stage name, by which she was well-known, was Bibi. She was four years Namjoon's junior, but seemed nearly as ambitious. From what you could tell, she seemed to share a similar drive for artistry and honesty in her musical process as her future husband, and though her tendency for loose-canon candidness had landed her in hot water more than once, her earnest sincerity had engendered her to the hearts of her peers and fans alike. In an industry that seemed to often censor and restrict women, Hyung-seo didn't seem to give much credence to the rules. You liked that. You were actually kind of excited to get to know her a bit and ask her about her art - you had always been a woman's woman, and being in the company of strong feminine energy was something you found deeply empowering and grounding. You anticipated that your soulmate's girlfriend was someone you could respect, and you allowed yourself to venture to hope that feeling would be mutual.

    You trotted up the steps of the pavilion and took in its contents. The center had been fitted with a low, round table bearing a colorful and mouthwatering spread of gogi, bibim guksu, gimbap, and banchan. Cushions had been placed on the floor for seating, but none bore the lunch companions you had been anxious not to keep waiting. You were about to take your place at the table when a figure moving near the creek caught your eye.

You moved to the far side of the structure, to see your soulmate deeply engaged in conversation...with a duck.

He was standing near the edge of the water, his tall figure clad in silky modern navy blue hanbok. The top was untied and hung loosely over a white tee - the only contrast to the deep muted tone apart from his cognac loafers. He wore a dark beanie pulled low on his head, which was bowed in affectionate greeting to a juvenile Gadwall who had paddled away from his family to sample the little bits of starchy fluff that the stranger had sprinkled onto the water.

You pressed your palms against the painted wood, taking him in with a smile as he crouched down, extending a bit of bread between his fingers slowly toward the curious little water foul.

This man, you were learning - this erstwhile underground rapper, this leader of men, this brilliant intellectual and genius artist - this great, powerful, impressive man could be called out of his poise in an instant by the sweet and tiny things of the world.

You watched as he waited patiently, the little duck swimming in to-and-fro circuits and drawing closer and closer to Namjoon with each pass, until finally it was close enough to snatch its prize from him and scuttle off quickly to rejoin its mother and siblings. Namjoon chuckled, smiling fondly as he watched the duck make his way back down the creek.

This man, you thought to yourself, could not possibly be real.

    "So you're a Kpop idol and a Disney princess, huh?" you called, causing Namjoon to startle and rock back on his heels, landing on his posterior in the damp grass.

    You slapped a hand over your mouth to repress the laughter that threatened to bubble up at the site of his large well-dressed figure tipped back haphazardly on the creekside. He huffed a sheepish laugh as he stood, swiping at the back of his pants.

    "Give a person a little warning?" he chided lightly, approaching you where you leaned on the railing.

    "Sorry," you chuckled, "I didn't want to scare your little friend."

    "So you settled for scaring your soulmate? I see how it is." 

    You smiled and ducked your head.

    "Sorry," you murmured, flicking your gaze back to his.

He looked up at you, fixing you with his warm brown eyes and bringing his hands to grip the railing on either side of yours. Suddenly, you felt shy. You shook yourself.

    "Hey, hang out with the ducks and you'll end up with a wet tail," you teased.

Namjoon's eyebrows drew together in mock disgust.

    "Yikes, you're almost as bad as Seokjin hyung," he remarked disparagingly.

    You shrugged, smirking.

    "I have no idea what that means, but whoever Seokjin is, he must have a superior sense of humor."

Namjoon was opening his mouth to respond, but was cut short, as the tiny motion of your shoulders had slid one of your hands just a centimeter down the railing and barely flush with his own. The slight contact was enough to send sudden little tingles of comfort shooting up your arm and across your chest. In a millisecond you felt yourself relax where you hadn't realized you were tense. You could have imagined it, but you thought you felt Namjoon press his hand just a fraction more into yours as he swallowed and heaved a deep sigh.

You reminded yourself for the hundredth time since you arrived that this was biological. Clinical. The means to an end. Damn, he felt good though.

You found yourself snatching your hands away to push up your cardigan sleeves and then stuff them into your pants pockets where they would stop confusing you. You distracted yourself from Namjoon's subtle look of disappointment with an apology.

    "Sorry about your pants," you rocked back on your heels as you looked out over the little ribbon of water rippling over its stony bed behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and brushed himself off again before waving a hand in dismissal. Your eyes focused back on the blue silk.

"I didn't realize this was a fancy lunch. I feel under-dressed."

    "You look nice," Namjoon rebutted, as he glanced over your attire. Then his brow pinched as his eyes halted on your torso, flitting over your arms and shoulders. "But isn't that -"

    "Joon?"

A voice behind you caused you to turn.

Standing at the top of the steps was the woman it belonged to. She was tall and beautifully slender - her svelte figure draped in a slinky chrome dress with a triangular cutout that displayed the smooth skin of her upper abdomen. Her glossy raven tresses were styled away from her face in a high ponytail, drawing sharp attention to her sultry features. Her smoky eyes glanced over your form with a lazy intensity, lids half-raised over dark irises, and her pouted lips pursed in appraisal. You wondered just exactly how many ridiculously beautiful people traveled in Namjoon's circle.

She stepped toward you, her chunky pink heels marking her confident strides on the floorboards, before bowing and extending a small hand with sharp white acrylics and icy sliver rings.

    "I'm the girlfriend!" she hummed, her deep, velvety voice matching her features.

    You bowed in return before shaking her hand politely.

    "So nice to meet you," you smiled, "I'm -

    "The soulmate," she cut you off, glancing over your shoulder at Namjoon, who still stood outside the pavilion, "of that weirdo." '

Namjoon circled around to the entrance of the pavilion before joining you with a wry smile. He introduced the two of you formally, before being the first to take a seat at the table. Hyung-seo joined him, shimmying her cushion closer to Namjoon's as she used a pair of chopsticks to load her plate with selections from the spread. 

    "Oh my god, I'm STARVING," she gushed, staring at Namjoon impatiently as he took a bit of kimchi fried rice and a few slices of samgyeobsal.

    "My stomach feels like it could take some real food for the first time in a while," he said with eager enthusiasm, glancing up at you with a smile of gratitude. 

    Hyung-seo tapped her chopsticks against her plate as she watched you survey the dishes before you. You took some kimchi fried rice and carefully ladled out a small bowl of doenjang-jjigae. You pulled your hands into your lap and watched the steam rise from the fragrant broth.

    "Ah, unnie..." Hyung-seo began before Namjoon shushed her and lightly tapped her knee.

You glanced between them in confusion. Namjoon merely smiled at you, and you smiled back, glancing down from his warm gaze to your plate.

    "Oh for the love of god, would you take a bite?"

    You looked up rather startled at Hyung-seo, who was leaned forward, her desperate eyes tracking your movements, and the chopsticks clutched in her right hand hovering over a plump, sweating mandu.

You blinked, fumbling for your chopsticks as your soulmate admonished the woman next to him. You took a heap of fried rice onto your chopsticks and brought it to your lips, looking questioningly between the two across from you. Hyung-seo groaned in impatience, her head lolling back.   

    "In Korea, the eldest eats first," Namjoon offered in soft explanation, his features trained in apology.

    As realization washed over you, you all but shoved the rice into your mouth, hoping to swallow your embarrassment with it, followed quickly by Hyung-seo, who popped two mandu into her mouth consecutively. Her eyes rolled back as she let out a groan of appreciation. You watched Namjoon carefully savor a piece of samgyeobsal. He smiled a dimpled smile. You smiled to yourself as you tucked into your fried rice. Namjoon's fiancée watched you both. Her cheeks were full, but she wasn't smiling.

Your little trio ate in contented silence until your visitor, having satisfied her belly, fixed her eyes on you with a different sort of eagerness. The time for questions had come, you realized. You set down your chopsticks, taking a drink of water.

    "I'm sure there is so much we'd like to know about each other," you offered with a smile.

    She pulled her lips into a brief grin, sipping from her own glass as her eyes trailed over you. You cleared your throat.

    "So, I read that y-"

    "How does it feel?" she interrupted, starring at you raptly. You blinked.

    "I'm sorry?"

    "When he touches you." She licked her lips. "I heard it's like cumming. I heard it's better."

Namjoon slid a large hand over her thigh. You saw it squeeze.

    "Jagiya..." he murmured.

    You glanced at him and gave him a reassuring grin which he returned, though not as readily as before. Not the start to the conversation you had hoped for, but she was living up to her brusque reputation. You let yourself laugh a little at the question, and saw Hyung-seo's mouth curl up a bit at the corners, though it didn't reach her eyes.

    "It's nothing like sex, actually," you mused, trying to be as forthcoming as possible without abandoning politeness. "Strange, I guess, because it is all about physical exchange and contact. But...it's more like...nourishment? I don't know...I haven't had long enough to think about it."

You had had quite long enough to know that it was ineffable, but in the most intoxicating, magnificent way - and a hell of a lot better than most of the sex you'd had. This, however, wasn't the time and place for descriptions of the bond that could be ripped from the pages of drugstore romance novels.

    You found yourself turning to Namjoon with a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he had anything to add. He nodded in response, not meeting your eyes.

    "Yeah, it's different," he murmured succinctly.  

    Hyung-seo hummed in assent, chewing on her lip, her gaze still roving over you. You decided to try again.

    "So how did you m-"

    "How do you do it?"

    You stifled a small sigh that threatened to escape your lips.

    "Do what?"

    "Use the bond. Like, do you hold hands, or...or what?"

    You looked to Namjoon who murmured something in Korean that sounded like a warning. This wasn't going as you'd hoped. Her questions were natural ones, but not the first you thought you'd be asked, and not so pointedly. In fact, they were ones she should probably have put to her partner. Had they not spoken since you arrived?

    "The bond works with any physical contact. When I first got here, I had so many questions myself. The hospital personnel were very informative while helping us navigate our questions. I still know very little, but as someone whose partner is bonded, I'm sure they would have someone who could better answer these types of questions than I can," you offered.

It was the opposite of forthcoming, but you were absolutely not prepared to launch into a conversation about you and her fiancé spooning in your undergarments. The trajectory of the exchange had to go elsewhere, so you resolved to take the wheel.

    "Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Maybe I could tell you a little about myself. My job in the states wasn't glamorous, but I loved it. I was -"

    "A social worker, I know," she murmured with a sigh, and Namjoon's head snapped toward her.     

You could feel your confusion pulling into a frown. In your beat of silence, the woman in front of you gave into another impulse as she placidly launched into an answer of your unasked question.

    "You're a social worker from the West coast, oldest of three kids. Your father died when you were ten. You graduated summa cum laude, and chose a career in women's services. You support your mother's living - you have been, long-term. Your brother is an engineer and your sister is in nursing school. You've never committed any crimes, but you were arrested once in college at some political protest about immigrant rights. Your blood type is O positive. You don't seem very good with your money, but you've never asked for financial assistance. You've never been married." 

    Silence.

    Your ears were ringing.

    You blinked as you tried to focus, grappling for something on which to stabilize your composure. This isn't how this was supposed to go. You felt your control slipping as the words pierced you in echoes that knocked you back down each time you reached out to steady your mind. 

    "Your father died when you were young..."

    "...You support your mother's living..."

    "...You don't seem very good with your money"

    Your mind whirred as the silence closed in, and for a moment you were suspended.

        Diana and Henry weren't pillars, you thought - they were tiny little babies as your mother clutched them on either side of her prone, shaking form as shovels of dirt were shifted back into the gaping hole that held a pine box covered in flowers. You looked down at the flag in your hands, and then up at the white flowers, still fresh and blooming, being caked and sodden with damp soil. You felt something rising up in your chest - something that never reached the surface. You turned from the wound in the earth as Dianna reached out and tugged at your arm. The babies looked afraid. You couldn't see your mother's face from where it was buried in her skirts. You tucked the flag reverently under your arm and took the little hands.

    Somewhere outside the amniotic sack of your mind, you saw Namjoon's figure stand. You heard his garbled voice speak to the woman beside him. He was angry, his voice pitched low. Hers in response was sharp and high.

    You took a deep breath and exhaled. Your chest was beginning to labor and your inhaler was on the fifth floor of a building on the other side of the property.

You willed yourself back into this world you had chosen. This place which, like the others you had inhabited, would discover its new tenant didn't take long to adapt. She was built to withstand.

    "Namjoon," you called softly, as you looked up at your soulmate. His eyes snapped to yours, his face showing subtle but unmistakable signs of distress - eyes reflecting remorsefully and jaw flexing.

You smiled at him gently, reassuringly.

    "It's alright," you insisted, your eyes not leaving his.

You saw his shoulders sag, and his head bow. His hand came up to scrub over his face. You realized then that she was looking at you. Hyung-seo's expression was apprehensive, her eyes scouring your face.

    "This must be an extremely difficult thing for you, whatever the reason," you offered earnestly.

    She regarded you in silence, her eyes flickering like the flame of a candle.

    "I would say, 'I understand', but I don't. I have no idea how hard it must be to fall in love with someone only to watch them suffer at the hands of disease, and to suffer so greatly and to come so close to losing them that you turn to finding a person who can save them, and who - if they are saved by - they will need and desire for the rest of their natural life. A person who isn't you." 

    Her eyes quivered as they held you in their gaze.

    "I know I'm supposed to be a saving grace," you continued, having gained your ground, "But I know I could also look a lot like a threat. Trust me when I say that you can be open and honest with me about how you feel. This is a difficult situation where we're going to feel burdened by things we shouldn't. Namjoon and I discussed this."

    You smiled again at your soulmate, who was watching you with relief and something else in his features. You wanted to call it admiration, but you had only known him for two whole days.

    "Whatever fears you're carrying that make you feel like a burden in this moment, could I ask you to set them aside? For a chance to get to know me in the real way that you deserve? This isn't a trap. Or a cage. We've all chosen to be here."

    You regarded Hyung-seo in the silence that followed. Her eyes had fallen from your face - they glanced over toward where Namjoon stood, barely raising toward his figure, when she suddenly dropped her face into her hands and began shaking with sobs.

    You let out a sigh of relief too soft to be heard by the others.

    "Fuck...." Hyung-seo choked out against her palms, "I'm such a piece of shit..."

    Namjoon moved to place a hand over her back and assure her she wasn't. You wondered what she felt when he touched her. Your heart ached with pity for her. Namjoon drew her into his chest and held her as she cried her makeup off. He stroked her hair as her regarded her with weary, worried eyes. You couldn't help but feel that you were encroaching on a private moment...expect that you were a part of this as much as they were. Was there a lifetime of this feeling to be endured? You sighed again.

    "I'm gonna give you guys a minute," you whispered as you clambered to your feet.

    Namjoon nodded silently over the woman in his arms. 

    You watched scattered leaves from the boughs overhanging the far side of the stream spin as the were swept away. Your eyes tracked one in particular, twirling as it sailed around a protruding rock and under an arching root, only to be stopped as it was doubled at the middle by a thin, swaying reed. You found your feet moving to where the water rushed around it as it billowed helplessly on both sides of its obstruction like a flag of surrender. You slipped off your shoes and rolled up your pants. You waded into the cool, clear water and, reaching out, tugged the little leaf free. You watched as it sailed on, disappearing around a bend in the waterway. You glanced back up at the pavilion. If you could have been sure it was the right move, you would have left altogether, but you wouldn't want your sudden departure to be taken the wrong way.

    You sighed. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket as you waded back out of the stream. Dead. You were bad about keeping it charged, and your conversation with Diana had drained its aged battery. You wished you had a book. Glancing about, your eyes caught a fairly large patch of clover flowers a few yards down the bank, and crossing the soft grass, you sank down in its center.

You smiled weakly to yourself as you plucked one of the little white buds near the base of its stem. You and your siblings would spend hours at the park under the shade turning sprawling patches of the puffy blooms into garlands, crowns, bracelets, and rings. You picked another flower and tied its supple stem into a knot just under the other flower's head. 

    By the time Namjoon came to join you, sinking down across from you in little clover patch you had fashioned yourself a crown and a necklace, and were working on a garland to send to Diana. You set down your handiwork to look up at him. He was regarding you with soft, somber eyes and a little smile that looked like one he didn't have the energy for but couldn't help besides. He picked a flower and twirled it between his fingers.

    "I'm so sorry," he murmured, "If I would have thought that things would go that way, I wouldn't have insisted on her meeting you before she left. She's going on tour and I thought...well, I thought if she just met you her anxieties would be eased."

    You nodded thoughtfully.

    "Thank you for your patience and kindness. She was out of line saying those things to you like that...you were...that was everything she needed to hear, I think."

    You cast your eyes down as you tied off another knot in the garland.

    "Is she okay?" you asked quietly.

    Namjoon sighed.

    "She's...embarrassed. Ashamed of herself. She wasn't in any condition to finish that conversation, so I suggested she go home."

    "Understandable," you assented, nodding again.

    Silence hung between you for a moment before you raised your eyes to his again.

    "Namjoon...there are some things I think we should discuss."

    He nodded earnestly, his eyes falling, brow creasing and tongue pressing into his cheek.

    "I know we haven't had much time," you continued, "And we have literally the rest of our lives...but, I think we should be on the same page about what we've been told about each other. I think it will make this whole process easier? I don't know. There are some things you assume you'll have to tell someone at a certain point in knowing them - some things that are...deeply personal..."

    "Aren't things between us already that way? Deeply personal?"

    You looked up and those half-lidded brown eyes were looking right at you in a way you weren't prepared for, in a way that flooded your veins. Soulmate. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel him and what he brought to you. You wanted him to feel it too. But you didn't know him, and he didn't know you, and he needed healing, which is why you were here. He loved someone who loved him whose lives you were disrupting. This feeling was basal, you knew - came with the territory...but you were going to need some strong boundaries if this was going to function. You were going to need honesty, for a start.

   "They are," you relented slowly, "But I have questions that I need answers to. Your trust in me is clear, and I appreciate that...but...I need time to get my footing here."

    Namjoon nodded in assent.

    "I get that. So, what do you want to know, specifically? I'll answer any question you have."

    You nodded gratefully.

    "Thank you. Do you think I could take a little time to think about what I want to ask? I'm kind of still processing everything that just happened."

    "Of course," he was quick to answer, "Whenever you want to talk, just let me know. Did I say how sorry I am?" he asked smiling weakly as he looked up from where he struggled to knot the stem of one flower around another, suddenly looking down again when its stem snapped between his fingers.

    You huffed out a little laugh.

    "Yes, you did," you did, you answered, offering him a rueful grin.

    He picked another flower only to realize he had cut its stem too short for his purposes. He tossed the little blossoms back into the grass.

    "Can you make me one?" he asked pathetically, pouting at the garland in your hands.

    You chuckled as you tied off the one in your lap and leaned forward to slip it over his head. He adjusted it around his neck, looking down at it with a pleased expression.

    "You know...if you can believe it, we actually got lucky in there," he smirked, his forehead creasing as he raised his brow.

    You gave him a look of confusion. His eyes trailed over your torso again before flitting back up to yours.

    "She didn't notice that you're wearing my sweater."

    You froze. Then you blinked down at the giant green cardigan that had, in fact, slipped down off of one shoulder. Then you gaped at him.

    He snickered.

    You scrambled to yank the sweater over your head, even as he laughed and protested, you blustered apology after expletive after apology.

    "Shit, it was in my laundry bag!" You whined in explanation as you shook it out and began to fold it in your lap.

    "Stop, just keep it on," Namjoon insisted, still clearly amused at your state of panic.

    "I have one just like this. Like, identical but obviously smaller. I just assumed it had stretched out in the wash..." You extended the sweater toward him.

    He shook his head.

    "Just give it back later, you'll be cold." He looked up at your exasperated expression and started laughing again.

    "Stooop..." you whined in embarrassment, and when he only laughed harder, you tossed the sweater in his face. As he balled it up with a smile where it fell down into his lap, his smart watch trilled. He glanced down at it.

    "I've got labs scheduled now," he sighed.

    "Hopefully they'll bring more good news," you offered, at which he nodded. "I seem to be getting the job done, if I do say so myself," you teased, leaning back on your hands and offering him a smug look.

He nodded, tongue in his cheek, then pushed to stand - with effort, you noticed - and extended a hand down to you. You didn't realize what the little smile on his mouth was for until you accepted his hand with your own, by habit, and were nearly knocked back off your feet as the bond surged through you like a wave of mind-numbing euphoria that left you unable to process information outside of what was sent coursing through your every cell from where he touched you.

    You blinked up at him as you got your wits about you, and he was looking down at you through little slits in his barely-open eyes, head tilted back and mouth hanging open - little smirk still tugging at its corner. You pursed your lips, trying not to grin back.

    "You did that on purpose," you chided, trying and failing to train your features in a scowl.

    His smirk deepened.

    "What? I was just being courteous..."

    You rolled your eyes.

    "I'm feeling a little weak, I think it would be best if you helped me back to the room," he muttered slyly, turning to head back toward the building.

The smile that was dimpling his cheek and creasing the corners of his eyes did something to your stomach that had you yanking your hand out of his grasp.

    "Yeah, right," you huffed, forging a few steps ahead of him, "You're putting a lot by your poorly reputed coordination to think you could walk while I was touching you." 

    He let out a laugh behind you. It was loud and bright and had you biting back a smile to match it.

    "What happened to getting the job done, sweater thief?" he called after you teasingly.

    Shit. Yeah. Boundaries. You were going to need them.

_________________________________________________

Well, they met! Next part to follow soon.

Thank you for sticking with me here!

Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25 @felicityroth @softforyoongles @berlianv @honneypies @deadrose287 @n0pesir

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 37 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly)

Word Count: 1,664

A/N: How we feeling about the story so far?? I’m working hard on going through these draft chapters for you guys today. Stated as always this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

On the drive back to the bunker, the Impala hummed along the empty road, and the tension from earlier had mostly settled. Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the classic rock station playing softly in the background. Julia sat beside him, staring out the window, the fading sunset casting a soft glow on her face. For a while, neither of them spoke, just content to be in each other's company.

But eventually, Julia glanced over at him, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "So... you going to tell me what's on your mind, or do I have to guess?"

Dean side-eyed her, raising an eyebrow. "Nothing's on my mind."

"Uh-huh." Julia crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat. "You've been all broody since the cemetery. Spill."

Dean shrugged. "Not brooding, just... thinking."

"About?"

He huffed. "Just everything. The usual crap."

Julia tapped her chin, pretending to think. "Hmm... the usual crap? That could mean anything. Like, are you thinking about how you're constantly eating enough burgers to feed a small army? Or is it about the fact that you still can't get over how I killed that Demon at the motel before you could?"

Dean let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Please. I let you have that one."

"Oh, sure," she teased. "And here I thought it was just you slowing down."

Dean scoffed, clearly amused despite himself. "Slowing down? You think I'm slowing down? I could still take on twice as many demons as you and not break a sweat."

Julia grinned. "Oh, I know you're still the big tough hunter, Dean. I just didn't realize you were also delusional."

Dean shot her a look, half-annoyed, half-amused. "Careful, or I might make you walk the rest of the way."

She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, teasing him even further. "Oh, I know what's bothering you, you're just a little mad I showed up and saved the day last night."

"Saved the day?" Dean chuckled. "Last I checked, I was handling that case just fine."

"Right, because setting a ghost on fire is so complicated."

Dean smirked. "If it's so easy, then why do you keep tagging along, huh? What's the point if I don't need you?"

Julia tilted her head, her grin softening into something a bit more sincere. "Maybe it's because you need someone to keep you on your toes. Keep that ego of yours in check."

Dean laughed, the sound a bit lighter than it had been in days. "My ego's fine, thanks."

"Uh-huh. Sure." Julia leaned back again, satisfied that she'd managed to get him out of his head, at least for now.

For a few minutes, they both settled into a comfortable silence. The Impala's tires rumbled over the pavement, and the road stretched out endlessly ahead. It wasn't long before Julia glanced over at Dean again, her teasing smile still in place.

"You know," she began, "I think you're just scared."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Scared? Of what?"

"Of me beating you on a hunt."

Dean barked out a laugh. "Oh, please. That'll be the day."

"I'm serious," she insisted, her tone mock-serious. "I've been getting better. You're not going to be the best hunter forever, Dean."

He gave her a sideways glance, amusement still dancing in his eyes. "Well, if that day ever comes, I'll buy you a beer."

Julia grinned. "Deal."

They lapsed into silence again, but this time, it was a comfortable, easy silence. Julia could feel the weight of Dean's thoughts lifting, at least a little. She'd managed to distract him from the heavy guilt that always seemed to follow him, and that was enough for now.

After a while, Dean broke the silence again, his voice quieter this time. "Thanks."

Julia blinked, turning to look at him. "For what?"

"For sticking around. For... this." He waved a hand vaguely between them. "Everything."

She softened, her teasing smile fading into something more genuine. "You don't have to thank me, Dean. I'm here because I want to be."

Dean didn't say anything for a moment, but his fingers tapped against the steering wheel a little more lightly, the tension in his shoulders easing. He gave her a small nod, keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah. I guess you are."

Julia smiled, leaning back in her seat and watching the road ahead. The conversation shifted into a more comfortable space, and as the familiar landscape of Kansas rolled by, she knew that, for now, they were okay. They'd keep moving forward, one hunt at a time, teasing and distracting each other from the heaviness of their lives.

For now, that was enough.

A few days had passed since their last ghost case, and life at the bunker had settled into a kind of uneasy rhythm. Dean still carried the weight of the Mark of Cain, but Julia was doing everything she could to keep him grounded. Her presence seemed to make a difference, even if Dean was still battling the darkness that constantly threatened to drag him under.

Sam, who had picked up on the shift between them almost immediately, had been surprisingly cool about it. One morning at the kitchen table, with a knowing smirk, he'd raised an eyebrow at the two of them, then said, "It's about time." Dean had grumbled something unintelligible, trying to hide his embarrassment, but Julia had just laughed.

Dean was still coming to terms with how much he needed her. And while it didn't sit perfectly with him—needing anyone—it was hard to deny the calm she brought into his life, especially now, when the Mark was always gnawing at him, trying to claw its way to the surface.

They were sitting in the bunker's library, Dean nursing a beer while Julia flipped through a book. Sam was hunched over his laptop, researching God knows what, but the silence in the room was comfortable. Julia could feel Dean's gaze on her, though he hadn't said anything for a while.

After a few minutes, Julia closed her book and looked over at him, catching his eye. "What?"

Dean shook his head, a small smirk on his lips. "Nothing. Just... thinking."

"Uh-huh," she said with a knowing grin. "That dangerous brain of yours working overtime again?"

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "Something like that."

Julia leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "You sure you're good?"

He glanced at her, his expression a little more serious now. "Yeah, I'm good. Just... you know."

She nodded, understanding immediately. The Mark was always there, even in the quiet moments. Especially in the quiet moments. "Well, if you're feeling antsy, we could always take another case. Keep your mind off things."

Dean gave her a sideways look, his smirk returning. "You offering to keep me busy?"

Julia grinned. "I'm offering to keep you from going stir-crazy."

Before Dean could respond, Sam looked up from his laptop, glancing between them. "You two sure you don't need a room?"

Dean groaned, rolling his eyes. "Really, Sam?"

Julia chuckled, unfazed. "He's just jealous, Dean."

Sam raised his hands in mock surrender, a grin on his face. "Hey, I'm happy for you two. I mean, about time, right?"

Dean shot him a half-hearted glare, but there was no heat behind it. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Despite his attempts to shrug it off, Julia could tell Dean appreciated Sam's approval. There was a time when Dean might have fought it, refused to admit how much he cared about what Sam thought—but not now. Now, it felt like a relief to not have to hide it anymore.

"Thanks, Sam," Julia said, giving him a grateful smile.

Sam gave her a quick nod, his eyes softening. "Just keep an eye on him, alright?"

Julia's smile grew wider. "Don't worry. I've got him."

Dean grumbled under his breath, but the tension in his shoulders eased. Julia's light-hearted teasing, Sam's approval—it was all helping, even if he didn't want to admit it.

Later that night, as Dean was going to bed, Julia caught Dean by the arm in the hallway, pulling him aside before he disappeared into his room. She could see the way the day had worn on him, the lingering guilt, the weight of the Mark, even though he was doing his best to hide it.

"Hey," she said softly, catching his gaze. "You good?"

He hesitated for a moment, then gave a small nod. "Yeah. I'm good."

Julia raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "Dean..."

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's just... I'm still dealing with all this crap, you know? The Mark, everything that happened. And sometimes... I don't know if I'll ever be the same."

Julia stepped closer, resting a hand on his arm. "You don't have to be the same. You just have to be you."

Dean looked down at her, his expression softening. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make everything sound so simple."

Julia smiled, squeezing his arm gently. "It's not simple. But I know we'll work it out.”

Dean's eyes lingered on her for a moment before he pulled her into a tight embrace. He didn't say anything, but the way he held her said enough. He was still struggling, still haunted by everything that had happened, but having Julia by his side made it all just a little bit more bearable.

After a few moments, Dean finally pulled back, looking down at her with a small, grateful smile. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Winchester."

They stood there for a moment longer before Dean finally retreated into his room, leaving Julia in the hallway with a sense of quiet resolve. She knew it wasn't over. The Mark, the guilt—those battles weren't going away anytime soon. But as long as they had each other, they'd find a way to keep fighting.

[sentientcave]

Hi Charlie! I looove heavy weighs the crown. Do you have a bit of it you're super excited to share?

- @pricegouge

YES!!!! BUT IT'S SPOILERS.

The next chapter is finished but not typed but I have two fun bits from later on typed up so hhhhhnnng here's part of one.

If you don't want spoilers from a couple chapters ahead don't read further! But honestly I think we all know where this story is going I'm pretty sure I tagged it as Poly141. This isn't super explicit but you'll see my vision.

You walk into John's office without knocking, your notes tucked under your arm. You're braced for battle, determined to make him listen to you. He sits behind his desk, chair tilted outwards, a cigar in his hand. Smoke fills the room, turning the air thick and hazy. You still shut the door behind yourself, even though you'd rather leave it open to air things out.

"John, we need to talk," you say firmly.

"Do we?" He gives you a heavy lidded stare, amused, for some unfathomable reason. "So urgently that you couldn't even pause to knock?"

"Are you busy?" You ask archly. "You certainly don't look very busy." Your eyes catch on the fencing mask on the desk. Ghost's mask. Your heart lurches, fear clutches at your stomachs with icy fingers. He'd gone off to deal with that Manticore-- Had he been injured? Had he been killed?

John notices the change in your expression. "No, Sweetpea, Simon's alright. He just got back."

You press your hand to your chest, relieved. The whiplash of emotion leaves you reeling, off balance.

"You care about him," John observes. "You trust him-- Are you attracted to him as well?"

Your cheeks burn. "That's not what I came here to talk about," you say hotly.

"Indulge me."

"We're married now. Whatever I might feel about Ghost is inconsequential."

"Tell me." John's eyes glitter strangely. "What do you feel about him?"

"Well I just-- I mean-- I do find him attractive, yes. But I don't intend to do anything about it."

"What do you find attractive about him? You've never seen his face."

"I don't need to. He's… He makes me feel safe. And he's patient. Strong. His voice makes me want to melt all over the floor." You cross your arms defensively, embarrassed by your admissions. "And he's sweet to me. Tells those awful jokes that still make me laugh. And his hands--"

A grunt that doesn't come from John cuts you off mid sentence. John turns his attention downward, and you suddenly notice a head of short ashy blond hair in his lap.

"Yes, good boy, come on up. Our girl had so many nice things to say about you. Do you want to thank her properly?"

Ghost surfaces with a dazed expression, sitting back on his heels. "Yes," he says hoarsely, his dark, beautiful eyes finding yours. He's handsome without the mask, if a little chewed up, a heavy, serious brow, a thrice broken nose, top lip a little fuller than the bottom, a strong jaw-- Although you knew that much already. He really is the blacksmith’s apprentice, just as you suspected. There's drool on his chin, and it takes you a moment to realize that John's cock is out, and another moment to connect the dots.

The heat that blooms in your belly isn’t anger, although a small, still-rational part of you suggests that it should be. There’s only desire and jealousy, and you’re not even quite sure who you’re jealous of.

[nachosncheezies]

Would you mind reccing the stories you liked that deal with Scully being a little psychic? I love anything that deals with that

Hello anon! I didn't think anyone reads my tags, but here you are proving me wrong. :D I'm pretty new to XF fic so I don't have enough to do a comprehensive list but here's a few I recently found in quick succession:

Contact High by Penumbra

Look I won't beat around the bush - it's heavy on the porn, so if that's not your thing then maybe give it a miss. Set post-Field Trip, they've gone home but Scully's still under the influence (still telepathic), apparently moreso than him (which I'm interpreting as, she already was a little psychic so it's hitting her harder). It appears Mulder is unaware she's picking up what he's broadcasting, and he himself only hears some of her thoughts once he knows. Meanwhile our girl is receiving every explicit moment of her partner's sex dreams in vivid technicolor, from all the way across town, in enough detail that she's basically like "Look you tease, if I'm gonna have to see this shit I'm coming down there and you're gonna make good." Queue a lot of finally talking about and working through things, in various states of [un]dress. There's even some angst in there!

By Falling In And In by @aloysiavirgata

A post-Deadalive AU, set over a span of years. I suppose the psychic angle is more about William's powers, but… he couldn't connect unless there was something to connect to, ya know? Otherwise he'd just be out here broadcasting to everyone. And as you'll see in the second half, the way Scully reaches back is pretty intense, especially when there's trouble. This is such a good story. Highly recommended whether you're in to psychic Scully or not!!

Triptych by @iconicscullyoutfits

I'm human and like most of us, sometimes Diana Fowley makes me want to wrinkle my nose like I've hit a bad smell, or maybe throw something that'll make a nice thunk sound just to get it out. But this one is worth it. The psychic!Scully angle is more subtle here. She sees ghosts, senses death, etc. It's not the main focus of the story, but it's a nice thing in an already excellent fic. I wish I could say more but I literally couldn't put it down, so much so that I need to re-read it bc I'm pretty sure I was asleep for part of it. 🙈

Bonus - since I also remarked in my tags that I wondered what Bill Sr. thought of his girls' spooky powers. Across the Sea by CalifornianHousplant is a little piece in which Maggie muses a bit on precisely that. It's Mulder/Maggie, cancer arc.

If I come across or remember any others I'll reblog this and add them! Thank you for reaching out :D

[guardian-angle22]

Nine ten books

thank you to @rmd-writes who tagged me (ages ago) in this... not sure you knew what you were going to unleash when you did that but here we are. 😅

I think the prompt for this is just list nine favorite books, but because I can't be normal about books and my taurus energy is strong today... I'm breaking up these book recs into categories, adding visuals, and also adding a tenth book to make it an even number. Cheers!

Books #1 & #2 (Nonfiction)

Ace by Angela Chen - Hello! Your friendly neighborhood asexual over here recommending that everybody read this book! It's such a good exploration of what it's like to navigate the world as an ace person and also the vast spectrum involved within asexuality.

Yoke by Jessamyn Stanley - Even if you've never done a single yoga pose in your life, I think you can gain something from this book. It's not a how-to yoga guide, but instead essays about her relationship to yoga, cultural appropriation within the community, fatness, colonization, capitalism, etc. It's fantastic and funny!

Books #3 & #4 (Excellent on Audio)

Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski - This fiction book (and the following books in the series) follows an investigative journalist who has a true crime podcast. The audiobook is full cast and it feels like you're following along to an actual podcast, but one you know you'll get a conclusion to. Highly recommend all of the books in this series on audio if you enjoy mystery/thrillers.

Where to Begin by Cleo Wade - The author narrates the audio version of this and her voice is like a balm to the soul. It feels a little bit like she’s a counselor guiding you through a thoughtful meditation. It’s short but it packs a punch.

Books #5 & #6 (Seasonally Appropriate)

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas - This is a YA book following a young trans boy, Yadiel, who wants to prove to his family that he's truly a brujo and attempts to summon the ghost of a murdered family member. Except he accidentally summons a classmate who has no idea how he died. Adventure and mystery ensues!

The Changeling by Victor Lavalle - I've always loved the folklore surrounding changelings, but Lavalle's writing just takes this to another level. This is set in NYC and he somehow managed to make the city feel like a character in itself. Super chilling, creepy read.

Books #7 & 8 (Graphic Novels)

I Hate Fairyland by Skottie Young - This is a 4 volume series about a little girl named Gertrude who is whisked away to Fairyland, where she's told she must go on a quest to find the key to unlock the door back to her world. Turns out she sucks at quests and 30 years pass and she still hasn't found the key. Now she's stuck in the body of a six year old and just murders everything she comes across. The contrast of bright, happy colors vs. the murderous, jaded Gertrude is hilarious and wonderful.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen - This is a standalone graphic novel following Tien, the son of Vietnamese immigrants, as he navigates how to come out to his parents. The art in this is wonderful and the use of color to define when we're in the past, the present, or a fairy tale was done so beautifully. A gorgeous read!

Books #9 & #10 (Books from Favorite Authors I Will Read Anything From)

A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers - This book/series follows a tea monk who encounters a robot looking for the answer to the question, "what do people need?" It's cozy and comforting. I've read every Becky Chambers book published and will continue to do so. The way she weaves hope into everything she writes is phenomenal.

The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater - This series owns my soul. I don't even know how to pitch this other than it has a magical forest, a found family, the slowest of slow burn queer love, and Maggie Steifvater's atmospheric writing. Maggie is another author that I will read pretty much anything from (the werewolves weren't my cup of tea so I can't claim to have read all her books).

OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to list off some book recs/fave books. Tag me so I can get some new recs!! also no pressure tagging: @lemonlyman-dotcom @mikibwrites @alrightbuckaroo @reasonandfaithinharmony

[ayyyez]

At this point your ask box is like my second home on here lol

BUT since you're going camping irl soon, do you have any hcs for any of the haikyuu characters doing the same? Ex, who's the tent pitching pro, who can't be left unsupervised otherwise they'll get lost, who has never gone camping before and would much rather be on their phone, who's stealing all the good snacks, who's telling ghost stories just to scare tf outta the others, etc 😂

Thanks bestie and have fun on your trip <3

A/N: weeeeeelcoooommeeee~ to myyyy kitcheeeen we have bananas annnd avacadoeeesssss~ lmao but yeah honestly you live here now welcome back~ ehe I had fun on my trip so thank you and I am bursting with these kinds of hcs so I'm doing them now! (If anyone wants to see more with other characters feel free to send them in)

TAGS: headcanons, fluff, general, camping headcanons, teasing, petname: babe, suggestive content but nothing explicit

CHARACTERS: Miya Osamu, Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintarou

MIYA OSAMU:

The natural camper who looks hot doing everything without even trying. He just knows what he's doing and makes it look so effortless too.

Knows what to pack and generally already owns everything as he's been on camping trips before in his youth. Enjoys the outdoors every now and again.

Very good and getting everything organised and is very patient with everyone who isn't Atsumu so if it's just you two it's a calm trip to organise lol if not then be prepared for the usual sibling shenanigans of course.

When it comes to food he's got you covered. With meals he specially premakes dishes that keep easily in the cooler. Likes baked dishes too as well as some easy ones like his specialty onigiri—various kinds of course. Makes sure to include your favourite(s).

Has thermouses for hot and cold water so he can make you tea, coffee and get you plenty of water. Takes you shopping for snacks. Such a motherduck in that he makes you take healthy snacks as well as the snacks you want. Its what his ma taught him.

Will dead ass make you a baggie that has some carrot and cucumber sticks in it to make sure your eating healthy. Gives you a little bento for the road with your onigiri and other dishes in it.

Makes sure you two have the most comfortable mattress. The thing he always hated about camping was having a crappy mattress and hearing Atsumu toss in the night next to him.

Likes to be the one driving. Asks you to hand feed him food and snacks while he drives. Lets you pick the music and has you navigate him to the site. Likes to call it team work. Big sweetie.

When the two of you get there he gets you to pick out a good spot while he insists on unpacking. Then the two of you set up together. He's more than happy to take charge if you don't know what to do but he likes it to be a team effort.

Just watch him though he looks so hot reading over the instructions then sloting everything together. He's so soft and sweet when asking you to do things. Always with a soft smile. He's just always soft with you.

Everything goes up smoothly with Osamu handling it. Asks you to handle the mattress while he sets up the tarps and everything else. It's hard not to just stare at him honestly.

The man just oozes sex appeal and he's just doing his thing. Not even showing off on purpose. His camping clothes too. Those shirts fit his chest and arms nicely mhmmm.

Offers you water and snacks after. Gives you little kisses and nuzzles your cheek as a reward for all your help and hard work. He's just such a sweetie.

Osamu really thrives outdoors. Likes going on hikes but will keep them to whatever level you like. The Miya comes out sometimes and he'll do a little show off and climb a tree or jump in a river and tackle you in. He's still playful and cheeky.

If he's able, will offer you piggy backs, appreciates the offer if it's able to be reversed too. If not will offer to at least carry your things. Always offering you water. Sometimes the cheeky side comes out and he just squirts it in your face. Do it back and have water fight.

Loves cooking outdoors too. Feed him and let him feed you. Smoosh a bit on his face but expect retaliation.

Sleeping can get cheeky too. Peppered kisses over your face, tickling his hands down your sides. Sometimes you just have to pin him down and pay him back.

Camping with Osamu is a dream. It's all fun and laughter.

KUROO TETSUROU:

The man with a plan who takes you on the trip thinking he's going to be able to show off his skills but nothing goes according to plan.

The trip there is fine of course. The man is organised to a T. He looking into the place, booked the site, went shopping and bought everything well in advance. He's really paricular about certain things like that and likes things done a certain way.

As soon as the two of you get there though and it's time to set up (time for him to start showing off his 'skills' that's when things go well...downhill for poor Kuroo).

Now he's sure he's following the instructions for pitching the tent! It's how the picture looks! He wants to look cool for you! But tripping over the same pole three times is a bit... uncool (totally endearing because he cares so much).

You cautiously enquire a few times. 'Babe, would you like me to help?'

'No no no babe! This is my job I promised I'd do the hard work you just relax and take in the view.' It would have been hot if he didn't have a piece of rope stuck to his forehead—now it's just plain adorable how hard he's trying.

Another fifteen minutes of unsubtle cursing and you gotta put your foot down and confess you know how to set up a tent and 'Wow babe you've impressed me with your perseverance, all your heavy lifting was hot honestly but please let me help the process.' Gotta preserve his ego a little ya'know.

Especially since you get it up in another 10 minutes. He's a little pouty after that but not sullen enough not to be proud of you. He's just frustrated with himself.

He gets bit frustrated when his VERY carefully planned out plans don't execute perfectly. That's your cue to butter him up.

'Hey babe, you going to show me how you make a fire?' Stroke those arms a little and he's puffing that chest back out.

'Oh, you wanna see me showing off my wilderness skills ey?'

That gets him back in the game. He's such an adorable dork honestly. Now look this doesn't go to plan either because he's sure he packed the fire starter kit! He knows he did!

Ten minutes of frantically pulling out all the bags he FINALLY finds it. He's a little red faced and embarassed again and you can playfully tease him but make sure you talk up those fire starting skills too.

He's actually pretty good at whipping up tasty meals outdoors. Brings a portable cooker and hotplate type setup. Makes you hot drinks and snuggles up to you with a blanket. Brings marshmallows to roast.

Despite his little set up hiccups he's very good at packing. Remembers everything you could possibly need and more. Chargers, food, snacks and those little extra luxuries to make your stay more comfortable.

Is also smart enough not to camp anywhere too off the trail as to get lost. He's just a little clumsy when it comes to showing off because the universe always seems to be against him in that regard.

The best part about camping with Kuroo is snuggling in the tent in the evening. Doesn't skimp on the mattress. It's soooo comfy and the blankets are cozy. He's also just so warm and cheeky so it's loads of fun.

MIYA ATSUMU:

DO NOT I repeat DO NOT let this man camp anywhere that isn't an official site with phone reception or he will get lost and you will never see him again.

It's best in general not to leave him unsupervised because he thinks he can camp by himself but he forgets he palms a lot of the stuff off to Osamu so it's safe to say make sure you know what you're doing if it's just the two of you lmao.

Similar to Kuroo in that he would want to take you camping to show off his cool side. Wants to show you how he can rough it and set up everything FOR YOU!

He's been camping before a few times so he thinks he's used to it but once he gets there and he's setting up the tent that's when he thinks I don't remember it being this hard. And that's when he recalls palming off certain things to Osamu and he regrets his whole life.

At one point considers snapping the tent poles in half to make them fit because 'These damn instructions don't make any damn sense!' Yeah you're totally supposed to build your own tent by cutting it up dear.

That's the point you gotta stop him or you'll be sleeping under a tree. It's either you pitching the tent or giving up and going home (maybe a sneaky call to Osamu if you have no idea, he'll calmly talk you through it but DO NOT tell Atsumu lmao)

Atsumu's version of bringing food is bringing meat to bbq. He's good with meat and that's really it. You have to bring in the back ups and alternatives because that's all he's got. This man bring meat.

He actually almost forgot his phone too but he remembered it because he needed to use maps to get to the site lmao. He was so focused on making sure it was charged the night before he almost left it there charging.

Doesn't forget much in the way of supplies its mostly little things here and there and its remembered as the day goes on.

'Oh you know what I forgot! Tea Towels!'

'It's alright we have paper napkins we can probably use.'

'Oh shit! I remembered my toothbrush but forgot toothpaste!'

'I have mine it's fine.'

'Babe I forgot to pack extra socks can I wear yours?'

You snort. 'Sure! Did you remember underwear?'

'Ahhhhh.' There's a long pause. 'YES!'

Atsumu also has lots of activies planned. He's not amazing at it but he does like having a go at fishing. Does his best to teach you if you don't know how. Accepts pointers and likes you teaching him things if you're a pro.

If it's a hotter season he loves swimming in rivers or if you're by a beach, likes to go in the ocean. Bonus points if he can knock a volleyball around there. Even just having space to put up a net is great to knock a ball around.

Always remembers the bug repellent because he's not the biggest fan of bugs. Has those special sunglasses for camping trips. Its how you know he's on holiday lmao. It's a big dad vibe.

Honestly camping with Atsumu is fun either way and his forgetting things and clumsiness when it comes to setting up kind of becomes a fun thing in itself.

SUNA RINTAROU

He is not a natural camper at all. Honestly he would take a lot of convincing to even go camping in the first place.

It would have to be some version of glamping. Not literally glamping but his negotiation would be a location with a shower block and toilet that wasn't disguisting because he has standards.

This dude is NOT squatting in the woods only to get taken out by a bear or something. He just can't. He's already iffy about the tent like can't you two get a cabin at least? No? Fine but you're going and buying the BEST pump up mattress money can buy.

The tent is also going to be a spacious pop up easy to manage tent that this tall guy can stand up in because he's not walking around like an upside down L every time he wants to go indoors.

He's also investing in battery packs because he wants to have his phone in working order. And he's not using any of that sleeping bag nonsence. It's too sweaty. You’re bringing your nice blankets and sheets and pillows from home. He doesn't give a shit if they get dirty, he'll do the washing, alright?

The two of you do a big shopping trip before you leave to stock up on snacks. He really likes that part because its fun splurging on things you don't normally get. Picks flavours you like and things that sound fun to try.

'Hey we should get weird sounding flavours and try them on the road trip there.' He suggests. That's his way of trying to get into it. He also offers to drive because he doesn't mind longer trips. Also makes a playlist for the journey and one for the camp.

Once you two get there and start setting up he's very good about everything. Helps out with the tent since the two of you got easy to manage equipment everythings up very quickly. Helps bangs the pegs down. 'Huh this wasn't so bad.'

YES HE'S COMING AROUND! He also looks so cute in his camping clothes he bought. He went all out for you and threw together the most fashionable camping look.

Also insists on buying the best cooking equipment so you two can make good food. Doesn't want any of that packet, dehydrated crap. Wants noodles and rice and real food like meat and vege.

Isn't super into outdoorsy activities as a whole but doesn't mind low grade hikes and going for walks. Likes taking pictures of you and selfies of the two of you. Enjoys the trip because it's time together just the two of you.

If you went with a group of people I feel like Suna would be the one telling ghost stories to creep people out (ehem Atsumu) but if it's just the two of you then probably not

Stands by everything he was firm on. Especially when it comes time to shower and use the bathroom lol.

When the two of you go to bed he's like 'Aren't you glad we spent the extra money on THIS mattress.'

'Sure Rin.' You just kiss him so he shuts up.

'Hey, I've never done it on an air mattress before.'

Yep he goes there but hey there's not much to door on a camping trip at night so why not?

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

My brain has started associating daily brainrot with getting ready to do homework, so now you're officially a part of my getting ready to do homework routine.

Going to try out color-coding the different topics, because I have a lot of ideas and my ADHD is acting up. (I promise I took my meds, it's just One of Those Days.)

I started working on a oneshot that's basically "what if I dumped a bunch of magical, spooky cryptid stuff in here" in response to a prompt from a writing group meeting. I don't really have any plot for it, but I do have a bit of worldbuilding stuff and a very long description of a house.

So it's another Hyrule-centric story featuring fae!Hyrule, except they're all kind of fae/cryptids. Supernatural, I suppose, is a more accurate description. I don't really have a good idea of what everyone will be, but there's going to be shape-shifters and ghosts and lots of creepy vibes because I'm shooting for the unsettling feeling that you get when you're afraid that the red eyes you see in the cornfield belong to something much more horrifying than a barn cat.

I think the term I'm looking for is gothic Midwest horror. Here's a link to the aesthetics wiki's entry on the topic in case you're curious.

Changing topics, I have what is probably too many ideas in my "LU Fanfiction Ideas" file in my notes app, so I'm thinking that maybe, once I've gotten some of my WIPs cleaned up and posted I could try doing some kind of ask game or tag game with them sort of like the WIP ask game that's still sort of circulating. I'd just make a list of the ideas and either write onshots/minifics for asks or have one of the tagged people pick what I work on. I'm not sure yet, mostly because I don't know if people would be interested and which one they'd prefer because I'm a bit too shy to just... toss it out into the fandom tag like that.

Time is still fighting me. It's taking longer than expected because every time I feel like I'm making progress something gets in the way. I really want to get his piece done because it establishes his plotline in the Emotional Support Loftwing series, and is supposed to be the accompaniment to a second piece that's probably from Warriors' point of view.

As a side note to that, I'm very excited to actually get around to that accompaniment because I get to write a whole bit about Sky's house on the Surface. (The town is called New Town and I love it.)

COLOR CODING. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. It makes it so easy to read oh my god (I keep forgetting to take my ADHD meds… it’s been weeks- whoops-)

THAT SOUNDS AWESOME, and don’t worry I’m very familiar with midwest horror shit. I come from the cornfields I’m one of the beasts that roam them at 4 am /hj

ooooooh that’d be cool!! I’m super interested, i can’t wait to see whichever one you decide on :)

I totally feel the ‘every time i feel like im making progress something gets in the way’ thing, I’m going through that rn with a fic. ALSO I LOVE THE TOWN.

(losing my mind over the color coding shit its so good for my little brain)

THANK YOU FOR THE BRAINROT :3

[rideordiewithme]

You're here...? (Part two!)

This is part two to my very first post! "You're here...?"

please read the first part before reading this part (the story won't make sense for storyline reasons) and please check the TW's!!!!! On the first part or the tags at the bottom of this post!!

"Wait..." Robin backs up, wiping his teary eyes and looking up at Vance with a small smile, almost mischievous the way he looks into Vance's eyes like he has a plan.

"You're dead, right?" There's an idea in Robin's head, and it makes him smile and turn around to his nightstand, starting to dig through it.

"Yeah..." Vance said with a nod, not really sure why that was a question. "...I'm dead."

He'd shift up from where he sat, watching his friend dig through his nightstand. "What exactly are you doing, Ro?"

"Well..." Robin starts, shaking his head and opening another drawer. "Since you're dead... if I... was… if I was dead. Then... technically... we could be together again."

He keeps looking through his drawers, trying to find something, his movements almost desperate.

Vance stiffens at the mention, the possibility that they could become something after he died if Robin followed through. "-Robin... Don't do something stupid." He said, trying to hide the urgency in his voice.

"I'm here now, there's no need for you to... to throw your living life away for me."

He could be a ghost, but Robin was real. Real and alive, his living life still in front of him, and Vance was scared of messing that up for him.

"Vance. A life without you is not a life worth living." Robin says, his voice rough, he's holding back tears. He keeps searching desperately in his drawers before making his way to his closet and pulling at the floorboards, eventually finding one that popped out with ease.

"...Robin-" Vance started, but he fell short of saying anything else.

He couldn't stop his friend from giving up his future life and becoming something like him.

It's something he'd dreamed of back then, being able to see Robin again...but not by making him give up everything. Vance only nodded his head, moving closer to Robin with as much caution as he could before kissing him on the forehead. "Fine...I still love you, regardless."

Robin stops searching, wrapping his arms around Vance's neck and pulling him down onto the ground next to him.

"You wanna spend my final moments with me?" His voice was a little shaky. He was scared, but he wanted to do this.

Needed to do this.

Vance was worried, but he could see how his friend desperately wanted to be with him after death, and he wasn’t about to break his heart.

“Always.” Vance whispered, leaning closer to the boy as he ran a through the boy’s hair.

“...I’ve always loved you." Robin takes a deep breath.

"I've always loved you too, Vance." He smiles, enjoying Vance's fingers in his hair before he turns back to the closet, bending down to grab a knife and two bottles of pain Killers.

"You ready, Vance?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.” Vance sighed quietly, pulling Robin in for a very gently kiss, their first kiss, before they move onto what happens in the afterlife. They know it's not going to be easy, but at least they have each other.

[tintagel-or-cockleshells]

Fic Origin Story

I was tagged by the marvellous @clottedcreamfudge and saved this link in my Notes to answer later.

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)? Lord of the Rings. So, I'm a true blue nerd. It was actually a story about the Entwives, because it was a fic exchange. I was like 14 and did so much research. It was not a good fic.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it? It was a dreadfully obvious derivative of a book I got at the library, written in glittery wax crayon, about an Egyptian servant girl who had a heart of gold and an evil priest who had a heart of stone and tried to swap them on the Scales of Justice. Illustrated, too!

What's a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self? “Stop thinking it's all got to be Big and Important and say Truthful Things! You're allowed to have fun!”  

What's an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)? Well, I remember joining a LoTR messageboard, so nervous, and then people being rude to me because I had the same kind of name as a recently-departed troll. However! People were a lot nicer after that, I met them in real life, and now two of them are my goddamn bridesmaids.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want). Oh goodness me, this was a delve into the dives of my Gmail. This is from 2007, an Angels Unlimited fic.

"I hated babysitting.

No, I mean—the kids were generally cute and the more well-behaved ones went to bed on time, and you got paid heaps, but it was the time before bed when they want to show off so badly I hated. You got the ballerinas prancing around in lilac tutus, putting on their very expensive satin ballet shoes, and you being forced to watch wobbly arabesques. And the doll-mad ones telling you about the adventures of magical Barbie and Ken and sometimes Skipper, undressing them and invariably losing one tiny plastic shoe. AND then the ones who fancied themselves geniuses and watched University Challenge and got nearly all the right answers. Okay, so that was only one, but still. I was struggling with my French homework that night.

However, I’d never had to babysit a really religious kid before. People generally aren’t religious round where I live. In Park Hall, there’s not much proof of life before death. Its two churches are both in an equal state of disrepair. Nobody in my class goes to church on Sunday, and nobody believes in God. If he actually existed, he’d make sure nobody’s older brother got shot, or their mum taken away. But kids are like sheep when they’re that small, aren’t they? They believe what their parents tell them. And so Hope Adams was Catholic, and Believed with a capital B."

And this is from my newest fic, Ghosted, a Red, White and Royal Blue one.

“Love,” Henry says reluctantly, and looks even more bashful as Alex sends a malevolent grin his way. “God, you’re incorrigible.”

“That’s me. Dead or alive, I can’t be corriged.”

It really is their stop now, and Alex suspects (correctly, as it turns out) that there are plenty of people waiting to get on and off. He and Henry manage to squeeze their way out after a young woman dressed in scrubs, and pass a man with a bandaged hand, a nurse who looks absolutely exhausted, a man in immaculate 1920s threads, and two older women who could either be 1950s ghosts or modern day women with capital ‘S’ Standards.

But God, he’s unprepared for the onslaught of ghosts in the hospital. They have to walk past A&E to get to the main entrance, and he sees people in hospital gowns and surgical scrubs, ephemeral strangers in ghostly wheelchairs. The ones that gut him the most are the three kids playing in the little garden attached to a paediatric ward, sheltered in a courtyard within the hospital grounds. He’s only been like this for a year. How’s he going to cope if he keeps going on? If he’s still a psychopomp in a hundred years? In a time without Henry?"

THIS WAS excruciating. Thank you for tagging me, though! Let's tag... @jazzerdoc, @mariusperkins, and @rhymingteelookatme.

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! It's gossip girl!!❤️❤️ I'm glad your finally free!!! Tumblr really needs to get its life together!! Also happy late birthday!! I was gone for a bit and saw all the stuff about it a bit late but I hope you had a a amazing birthday!!❤️❤️❤️ 

And lol😂 I usually do remember sunscreen but this time me and my friends left a bit late and I didn't grab it😂 but after about a week of aloe Vera it's back to normal😂 And yeah I'm glad watching the pups went well!! Pups ARE the best! They are always so funny and cuddly!

And it's totally alright!! You didn't keep me waiting at all! You're always totally good with the time between!! It's never too long anyway!! And I did actually make more progress on some of my WIPs so that's good! I about doubled the word count of the Micheal story I've been working on for a bit but it's still not done😂 But the idea I'm actually the closest to completes is a random Bob x reader from Top Gun that's been stuck in my head and I wanted to finally write out even though I've only done Peaky stuff up to now😂 I did also kinda give in and end up making a mini second account to post random stuff and try to get back to interacting more, but it's still mainly me putting out small things and hiding again😂 

And for who I'm trying to get idk😂 maybe all the spam/p*rn bots that seem to be showing up in my tags😂 Tumblr bans the innocent but does nothing to stop those it seems🥲

And OH NO! That's would be terrible and scary to lose that many files and such😭😭 I hope your boss back then was able to  take responsibility for it though and didn't like blame you for his mistake! I've heard horror stories of that happening before! I'm sorry you had to restart it from the last save😭 I'm still at the point where I save and save as every now and then but for the most part I only have one copy:/. It'll probably screw me over done day though😂

And I love the idea of your Mary Poppins bag! I have something similar in my car!! It's got all the stuff I need incase I'm out and don't have it and too far from my dorm! My other bags are usually just a full but only contain multiple fidget objects or random items and pens I've found 😂 which surprisingly my random objects have come in handy at times so I can justify keeping them😂

And I'm not actually sure how the one of tests went😂 my teacher still hasn't given back the grade! He was supposed to and then my school closes down for the tropical storm again (which basically ended up missing our area so we're good) and we didn't have class that day!😂 But my other test went well and I got and A on it! So i did bit of a longer break due to the storm but I still can't wait for thanksgiving break in like a week😂 And I guess it was good that your plans to study elsewhere didn't move right before the pandemic! I can imagine how stressful that would have been! Maybe if you wanted to if would be better now, I guess the world has somewhat settled down a bit (in some degrees...)  I'm glad your week was good! I hope you got some good rest too and got around what needed to be❤️❤️

As always it was fun to interact with you❤️❤️ Lots of love! Xoxo!

Hi GG!!!

It’s good to be back!!! See @ staff? I didn’t do anything wrong 😇 I just post smut from time to time… 🙈 🥳 thank you sm for your kind wishes darling! I did ☺️💕 it was lovely to get all that love in here you know?

Oh no!!! Hope you got some nice tan at least? I gave up years ago, I looked like a sick ghost at 10 yo, will look like a sick wrinkled ghost at 84 yo so I don’t even try to get a nice color anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh I just LOVE dogs, have you seen those pup videos from car to car stopping over just to say hiiiii? I’m that kind of person 🤣🐶

I’m so glad because let me tell you a secret, sometimes I feel bad for not answering sooner! But between work, my 🐶🐶, writing, reading, etc sometimes I think I did something only to realize I did it only but in my mind, and when I look back, boom it’s been 5 days since I got the message. Sooooo you’re a Michael fan, what are your thoughts about that end? I’m happy to hear that you are working on your stories!!

I’m terrible at Top Gun stories (I hope I don’t disappoint you, but I never saw the movies 🙈🙊) but either way, it’s so so good to hear you’re getting inspiration, I hope you write this one!! ☺️ @ zablife writes TG stories, if you haven’t seen that account, I highly recommend. Ohhh how come you have a second account and I don’t even know about the first one??? 😋 don’t worry if you want to keep under the anon profile it’s all good!

You’re right, sometimes with the new tags content I get post promoted and I’m like tf? 😳 at something really explicit, and some friends got posts deleted over nothing, guess they are part of us sadly…

Haha I wish! No, I had to keep working on from where the file froze… luckily by then I had mastered the formulas, it’s alright, stuff like that happens and since then, I learned to not let my boss work around my excel 🤪 and make like 3 copies just in case he came to mess it up. Oh well if so far you’ve made it, it’s all good 😉

I recently added a small hair brush (travel size) to my bag, and a little “tide to go” for you know food accidents 🤣 soon I will need a bigger bag if I keep adding things. But yes, it’s so useful when you need something, specially a student like you, bet you have lots and lots of things for your notes 😊

How did the test go? I hope that by now you got a good grade back! Oh no, everything good with the tropical storm? Hopefully it didn’t leave lots of damage, and yay!!!! Congratulations for that A! ✨👏🏻👏🏻 Well done! Happy (belated) thanksgiving!!! Did you go back home for the holiday? Are you buying something from the crazy sales? The stores were so full last week!

Yeah, because I was planning to quit my job and just go to Boston 😂 life: sure haha now I have chickened out to be honest, I’m thinking I don’t know of different plans now like getting my own place, so maybe something online would be more fitting… who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️ With everything that happened I decided to try to not make lots of plans (of course not getting on the irresponsible side either). Thank you it was 🤗 Hope you week was good and your weekend is even better!

Thanks for the chat! It’s lovely to ‘see’ you here 💙 sending back lots and lots of love your way! Ps don’t forget your sunscreen 😉 xx

[beneathascorpionsky]

I posted 6,048 times in 2022

That's 6,048 more posts than 2021!

76 posts created (1%)

5,972 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wayward-wren

@arceuscansuckmydick

@raincloud-the-33rd-frog

@time-is-a-pain

@strigiiformes

I tagged 2,438 of my posts in 2022

#art - 121 posts

#fnaf - 110 posts

#video - 78 posts

#yes - 73 posts

#writer's life - 58 posts

#pretty - 42 posts

#fnaf security breach - 41 posts

#wheeze - 39 posts

#funny - 36 posts

#cute - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#fandom is me forcing my friend to read snippets from a fic im writing from a fandom they couldn't care less about but supporting me anyway

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The struggle when I’m writing a fanfiction and I’m really excited and I really enjoy it and I want to post and share it with people! But! I know how bad I am at finishing projects and the story isn’t even half done and what if I lose motivation and just have another half finished fic sitting out there and I disappoint EVERYONE. But also what if I DONT DO THAT and I could’ve been sharing it the whole time and getting feedback and enjoying reading people’s comments ? and round and round my brain goes on this one circular track 

12 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

#4

Sure those stars might’ve been dead for who knows how long but sailors still looked to them for guidance

15 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

This is such a weird dumb idea and maybe other people have already theorized this and I’m just out of the loop but it’s making me laugh so I’m going to share it anyway

so there’s the whole gregbot thing right? Well what if Gregory isn’t a robot but Vanessa is? Maybe Vanny created her as lookalike/stunt double kind of thing so Vanny was free to wear her creepy mask and run around killing people but could point to Vanessabot who was roaming around the Pizzaplex doing her job as an alibi 

It would explain the rooftop ending where Vanny seems to really closely resemble Vanessa, but Vanessa is shown to be standing up on the roof while Vanny is on the ground. I know there’s the theory of it being Vanessa’s ghost which is probably more likely but idk, Vanessabot is funnier to me for some reason

16 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

Feel like in Security Breach Gregory really went “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me” and then committed organ theft

30 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Chapter 25: To let go (and to hold on) I saw this moment as poetic and I hope I interpreted this scene right Gosh, William be damned- I love your fic!

I am I'm literally a bit overwhelmed I never thought anyone would like something I'd read enough to make art based on it. This is GOREGOUS and I love it so much and I think you might've just made my entire year. Ty, tysm I adore this and I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic

34 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

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