#If you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of I'd be happy to help

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[ussjellyfish]

Elemental asks: Lightning, spirit and fall

Lightning: What’s the most shocking plot twist you’ve ever come up with?

Once I blew up Earth. It was while I was watching Battlestar Galactica and I felt kind of grim dark, so I did. It happened off screen, but then my characters (from Stargate Atlantis) could never go home again and had to build a new home.

Spirit: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received on your writing?

I get so many little beautiful compliments. People make me art sometimes. Once someone had me sign a fic I wrote. People name their sims after babies I gave the characters in a fic...It's really lovely how much quiet, mind-blowingly wonderful feedback fanfic writers can get, and I'm so grateful I can experience that connection, because it's so wonderful to have a sense of community.

Fall: Have you ever completely abandoned a WIP?  What led to that decision.

A few times. Once I came back 18 months later and finished it because someone asked nicely on a podcast.

I have two that I'm stalled on right now.

In Small Packages - Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak, Mirror Philippa Georgiou/Katrina Cornwell. It's a little sequel to Firefly where the canon-ish Michael meets a little kid from Firefly and then meets the other Laira, who has lived a very different life. (Laira and Michael are together and really domestic in one universe, not together in the other)

It needs one more chapter and I'm pretty sure what happens and I need to sit down and write it and...I haven't yet. I was going to write two more, one where Michael gets to the other universe but that's a lot of world building and dialogue with many people and that part is intimidating me so...it might get one chapter from Laira's pov where Michael comes back and tells her what she saw, because that sounded nice.

I haven't updated that since April.

The other one I've stalled on is Quantum Variations on a Love Theme (Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak), which is really long, and me stalling on that one is entirely me having feelings that aren't helping the fic.

The people I wrote that one with (where we talked about the headcanons and I dedicated chapters to them) don't talk to me anymore. (they're very busy and our relationship is just...changing. We're growing apart, and that's okay. that happens, but opening up that file makes me sad. Sharing it with them really meant so much to me and one of them stopped reading many chapters ago and the other didn't even tell me when she'd read the finale and I am sad about that.

It's a really good birth scene. I killed it and...the people I was most immersed with, that I told everything too, are gone. It doesn't really matter to them. I don't really matter to them, and that's really hard. (this isn't true, of course, people grow away and it doesn't mean they don't love me, it's just not perhaps in the way I'd like to be loved).

So that fic represents...loss and my feelings of abandonment, and it's hard for me to go back to it and say, well, this is mine. It doesn't matter if you're not here and you're not going to bounce ideas off with me and you're not going to read it, I can still tell this story. I still want to tell this story.

It's the 12th longest fic in entire Star Trek Discovery tag and I've been working on it since January 2022. Often I struggle with what happens after the baby arrives in a long fic where someone is pregnant. Babies are great, but they're also exhausting and the characters are exhausted and the falling action is hard for me. The character's arc was getting through that process and she did and now...

So I'm a little lost on that one. I think I could wrap it up ish in a chapter, and I'll probably get there just not as soon as I'd like.

It also wouldn't be terrible if it ended there. The characters are happy, they went on a great journey together and I had fun writing it and it has some of my best work in it, it just feels sad instead of joyful at the moment.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Beryl Coronet pt 3

Come on, Mary! I believe in you.

Weird, how it's this one and The Naval Treaty that I had such strong ideas about whodunnit from the first introduction of the character and they're both about people making poor security decisions that could lead to national disaster. But on this one I'm supporting (one part of) the criminal duo, and in The Naval Treaty, I particularly disliked the culprit.

Mary is kind of horrible for not saving her cousin, though. He's willing to go to jail for her (if I'm right) and she's just telling everyone 'oh, he couldn't have done it!' and not actually coming up with a good reason. She didn't even get interviewed immediately because she 'fainted'. She had plenty of time to come up with a story. Maybe being woken up by a loud snap and then hearing Arthur moving around. But no, she's instead trying to get her maid framed for it all.

You can really go off a girl.

“I think that this should do,” said he, glancing into the glass above the fireplace. “I only wish that you could come with me, Watson, but I fear that it won't do. I may be on the trail in this matter, or I may be following a will-o'-the-wisp, but I shall soon know which it is. I hope that I may be back in a few hours.”

Oh yeah, Holmes is in disguise in some attempt to win back the beryls.

I like how he says 'I wish you could come with me, Watson' but is vague on the why not. 'It won't do' - translation: you are a terrible actor and no one alive would ever be fooled by you, also you'd blurt something out right at an important moment and ruin everything.' Let's be real. We all know.

Watson is not made for undercover work. I love him, but he would be about as useful a spy as a giant panda in an aquarium.

Or Captain America in a trenchcoat. (I love this picture).

I waited until midnight, but there was no sign of his return, so I retired to my room. It was no uncommon thing for him to be away for days and nights on end when he was hot upon a scent, so that his lateness caused me no surprise.

Firstly, Watson is definitely living in Baker St atm. Either his wife is visiting her 'mother' again, or she's thrown him out. Also, him staying up until midnight although he knows that sometimes Sherlock doesn't come home for days is sort of nice, sort of a bit excessive.

Apparently Holmes does not need sleep. This is probably because he lives on tobacco, caffeine and cocaine. The fact he isn't constantly bouncing off the walls is impressive.

It was, indeed, our friend the financier. I was shocked by the change which had come over him, for his face which was naturally of a broad and massive mould, was now pinched and fallen in, while his hair seemed to me at least a shade whiter.

That's not how white hair works, Watson. It's not that all of your hair gets lighter... that's not... Fine. I guess you're the doctor.

This is quite a transformation overnight, though. I'd suspect poison if it wasn't fairly common in these stories for people to suffer massive and immediate health conditions from sudden shock.

“I do not know what I have done to be so severely tried,” said he. “Only two days ago I was a happy and prosperous man, without a care in the world. Now I am left to a lonely and dishonoured age. One sorrow comes close upon the heels of another. My niece, Mary, has deserted me.”

What you have done is be a massive idiot who doesn't understand the meanings of the words 'secure' or 'discreet'.

I'm still kind of mad at Mary for trying to pin her crime on someone else while simultaneously not offering her cousin who saved her ass any real help. BUT, having said that...

"I had said to her last night, in sorrow and not in anger, that if she had married my boy all might have been well with him."

Wow, dick move. Blaming her. Yes, I literally believe she is guilty and it is her fault entirely but Mr Holder here still believes her a perfect little angel woman, so going 'if you'd have married him, none of this would have happened'.

My dude. I had no sympathy for you. I am now in negative sympathy for you. All my care for the victims of this situation is going to Lucy, because all Arthur has to do to give himself a chance is tell the truth. Mary, if she hadn't tried to throw Lucy under the bus, I would be supporting completely.

I'm still supporting her, like 75%. I'm glad she's out of there. I hope this is one of the stories where the culprits never get caught and she and Sir George Burnwell (who maybe is not such a cad as I presumed) go on to steal many more priceless artefacts from rich people who don't take care of them.

Her letter is so fucking funny when read from the POV of someone who thinks she's guilty.

“‘My dearest Uncle: “‘I feel that I have brought trouble upon you, and that if I had acted differently this terrible misfortune might never have occurred. I cannot, with this thought in my mind, ever again be happy under your roof, and I feel that I must leave you forever. Do not worry about my future, for that is provided for; and, above all, do not search for me, for it will be fruitless labour and an ill-service to me. In life or in death, I am ever “‘Your loving “‘Mary.’"

"Hey Unc, Whoops, my bad! If I hadn't stolen the jewels with my lover then my cousin wouldn't have been arrested for stealing the crown jewels and you wouldn't be in trouble for having lost them. I feel so guilty that I'm running off with my lover, but it's okay because we've sold the jewels so we're rich! Gonna change my name and live a life of luxury in another country. Thanks for making this so easy for me. Love, Mary xxx'

Or... at least... that's how I read it.

“No, no, nothing of the kind. It is perhaps the best possible solution."

Holmes is with me on this. Mary needed to get out of that house.

“That would be unnecessary. Three thousand will cover the matter. And there is a little reward, I fancy."

A reward for finding the beryls. Is Holmes asking for the reward here or saying that Mr Holder will get the reward? Because Mr Holder deserves 0 rewards. No rewards for him.

"Have you your check-book? Here is a pen. Better make it out for £4000.”

Ah, no. Sherlock is getting the reward. Lolol. Well yeah, you deserve that.

£4000 is the equivalent of about £414,000 today. Which is an insane amount of money to write a cheque for. And it means that Burnwell and Mary (or whoever it was...) got away with the equivalent of over £300,000 which is a nice little amount. Holmes got the equivalent of £100,000 for a few days' work. Nice.

“You have it!” he gasped. “I am saved! I am saved!”

I mean... the coronet is still damaged. The police still had to get involved. I'm pretty sure the bank knows, and HRH Bertie knows and his mum the queen knows so... are you saved? Are you really? There's no way you can get your job back after you showed how utterly terrible you are at it. You clearly cannot keep a secret to save your literal life. The heir to the throne knows exactly how incompetent you are. This feels like 'I'm probably not going to be hanged for treason' not 'everything will be sunshine and kittens'.

“No, the debt is not to me. You owe a very humble apology to that noble lad, your son, who has carried himself in this matter as I should be proud to see my own son do, should I ever chance to have one.”

Substitute 'idiot' for 'lad' please. Very noble, sure. But don't get yourself thrown in jail for something that could genuinely be considered treason just because you want to protect a girl who doesn't love you back. Don't do it. It all sounds super romantic, but it's actually just dumb.

“You are sure of it! Then let us hurry to him at once to let him know that the truth is known.” “He knows it already."

Holmes, telling people in the right order. Yeah, he went to talk to the man who was falsely imprisoned before the idiot who was sort of responsible for him being there.

"...that which it is hardest for me to say and for you to hear: there has been an understanding between Sir George Burnwell and your niece Mary. They have now fled together.”

I'm glad Sir George turned out to be a good sort in the end. I was pretty sure he'd just done a runner and left her, but no. The couple who steals together stays together, and I think that's beautiful.

"Neither you nor your son knew the true character of this man when you admitted him into your family circle. He is one of the most dangerous men in England—a ruined gambler, an absolutely desperate villain, a man without heart or conscience. Your niece knew nothing of such men. When he breathed his vows to her, as he had done to a hundred before her, she flattered herself that she alone had touched his heart. The devil knows best what he said, but at least she became his tool and was in the habit of seeing him nearly every evening."

I mean, he could have just left her behind. Could absolutely be worse. Also, way to take away Mary's agency in the matter. She absolutely knew that stealing the crown jewels was against the law. That's not exactly a difficult one to work out. She made her choices. I support them fully (apart from Lucy). She's 24 years old. Earlier you called her old and now she's too young and naive to know what was going on? A four year old knows stealing is wrong. She conspired to steal (part of) the crown jewels and run off with them. She let her cousin take the fall for her and pointed suspicion at two other innocent people. The girl was not just a victim in this mess. Don't pretend like she didn't know what she was doing or getting into. She absolutely knew it. And she did it anyway. Get your heads out of the misogyny juice and just accept a woman can commit a crime.

Honestly, men get the credit for all female accomplishments. Lolol.

"His footmarks had pressed right through the snow, so long had he stood there. She told him of the coronet. His wicked lust for gold kindled at the news, and he bent her to his will."

Did you hear this conversation? Were you there? Was it recorded? How tf do you know that it was his idea and not hers? Maybe they planned it together. Maybe she was like 'hey, my uncle's an idiot who brought a 10 million dollar crown home and stuck it in his old desk that opens if you hit it in the right place, want to do a heist?' You weren't there. You've got no clue how it went.

I want to think you're saying all of this just to make Mr Holder feel less bad about it all. Just making stuff up and making Mary seem like an innocent victim in order to soothe him a little. Because you've got no evidence she wasn't just as culpable as Sir George.

"...walking very stealthily along the passage until she disappeared into your dressing-room. [...] Presently she emerged from the room again, and in the light of the passage-lamp your son saw that she carried the precious coronet in her hands. She passed down the stairs, [...] He saw her stealthily open the window, hand out the coronet to someone in the gloom, and then closing it once more hurry back to her room..."

Yup, you're telling me she was practically blameless and only did it because she was manipulated by the terrible, evil man, and she did the actual deed single-handedly and with no sign of doubt or hesitation? The equivalent of £10 million in her hands and she just walks to the window and passes it out? Yeah, she's absolutely a helpless naive victim. I totally buy that.

Or... y'know, Sir George actually is an archfey and he enchanted her to do it.

“As long as she was on the scene he could not take any action without a horrible exposure of the woman whom he loved."

I mean... I feel like he could have revealed himself and whispered 'Hey, Mary, what are you doing with that very valuable coronet?' and made her put it back by interrupting the whole affair. Rather than, you know... just standing back and watching.

“He could not explain the true state of affairs without betraying one who certainly deserved little enough consideration at his hands. He took the more chivalrous view, however, and preserved her secret.”

"He took the more chivalrous foolish view..." <- fixed it for you.

“It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

Drink!

"But if it were the maids, why should your son allow himself to be accused in their place? There could be no possible reason."

"I went in the shape of a loafer to Sir George's house, managed to pick up an acquaintance with his valet, learned that his master had cut his head the night before, and, finally, at the expense of six shillings, made all sure by buying a pair of his cast-off shoes."

Who had 'to buy shoes' as the reason for the disguise? Because I definitely did not have that one. Oh, the good old days when people would turn up at your door to chat up your servants and buy your old shoes.

"It was a delicate part which I had to play then, for I saw that a prosecution must be avoided to avert scandal, and I knew that so astute a villain would see that our hands were tied in the matter."

But also, getting rid of something that identifiable would be a tricky business. They needed a buyer, you needed a secret. Mutually beneficial arrangement.

Holmes pointing guns at people off screen, why do you so rarely show us the action, ACD?

"‘Why, dash it all!’ said he, ‘I've let them go at six hundred for the three!’"

Omg. LOL. Nooooo. George. You were doing so well. You only got 600 for them? A fifth of what you could have got. My dude, my dude.

Mary, get a better guy. This one done fucked up. 600 might seem a lot for now, but it's going to disappear super quickly.

“A day which has saved England from a great public scandal,” said the banker, rising.

How? Like I said before. The police were involved. The coronet is still broken. How is this all being covered up so easily? A man has been arrested.

“I think that we may safely say,” returned Holmes, “that she is wherever Sir George Burnwell is. It is equally certain, too, that whatever her sins are, they will soon receive a more than sufficient punishment.”

...

Is this like 'she will be a ruined woman' kind of punishment, because...? Yeah, no. 'She's going to receive her karma because the guy will leave her and society is broken and punishes women for not being pure, virginal angels?' I do not like.

I reject your conjectured ending and substitute my own in which she and George (although he needs to get better at haggling, yikes) travel the continent and steal priceless artefacts together and she's the brains of the operation.

We're not going to leave it with 'despite the fact I have described this entire story as though she is the blameless, brainless puppet of an evil man, she will receive punishment for her naivete in the form of being "ruined" and all that comes with it.'

Fuck that shit. Mary has to bear some responsibility for her actions, and there's a decidedly creepy rapey sort of undertone to the implications here. Much ick. Do not like. Badass crime couple for the win.

Oh, next one is The Final Problem. I mean, of course I remember that one.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi hello, so nice to talk to you, Kiko!

This is going to definitely sound weird, but do you have any advice for an ongoing Ao3 writer? Pretty sure I'm not the only one here writing Gojo/OC stories or fluffy one-shots since they're so addicting lol.

But it's strange to be so obsessed with writing with so many ideas and time and energy to write, and then it feels like you're in a bit of a slump when that rush of creativity sort of slows.

You mentioned before that you had most of the story for AL mapped out and written, did it help you to plan ahead more before posting? Or was it more of a, "I didn't worry about it too much because it was fun to write and we're all Gojo simpls" kind of a deal?

Anyhow, would love to know if you'd be alright talking about it. Have a good day~

Hiiiii! It's nice to talk to you, too! 😊

Gojo fluff is addictive and I honestly have been rereading Physical Paradox installments today because I need fluff and motivation 😂

Hmmmm, advice for AO3 writers? Honestly, I feel like I'm a bit under qualified for that because I'd been an anon reader for over ten years until July when I finally created an account so I could post Another Level 😂😂

BUT, I do have a few thoughts. I'll try to keep these as simple as my over-explaining ass can 🫠 (Kiko did not keep it simple. I ranted and this post is hella long, I am so sorry.)

If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕

On writing in general: Write for you.

1) I know I've said this before, but it's true. Write as if no one else will ever see what you're writing to begin with. That's how I started with Another Level. I never intended for anyone else to see it when I first started. On the flip side of this though, don't be afraid of bouncing ideas off others.

It's likely vain of me, but I genuinely enjoy reading my own writing. I try very hard to make sure that what I'm posting is something I enjoy reading. But it makes it so much easier to write if you enjoy reading it, because you're just as excited to read it and see what happens as someone who isn't in your head.

2) I think that something really important for when that creativity slows in one area, don't force yourself to keep going if you don't have to. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, not an obligation or a stressor.

Once the joy fades from a hobby, it's no longer a hobby.

Think of it this way: since May of this year, I've written around 300k words for different fanfics. If we look at that from the perspective of a single-spaced, 12pt font perspective, that is 300 pages. I've written the equivalent of a gosh dang Dissertation. But here's the difference between Another Level and a Dissertation: writing and researching for Another Level was fun. It was something I wanted to do.

(We'll ignore the fact that I didn't have to teach classes and grade papers simultaneously as well. I do and don't miss grad school And honestly, I miss teaching. But academia can kiss my ass.)

3) Write what you want to write, not what others expect you to write. This isn't your job. You aren't being paid for a word count or hours put in, you're doing this for you and for fun. When you let other's expectations drive you instead of your own desire, that happiness is fleeting and it's easy to burnout fast.

4) Follow your inspiration fairies, even if only briefly. You don't have to write out an entire universe, and you don't have to keep what you write. But sometimes you have to get rid of the brainworms to make room for other ideas. I've realized that a few of my Goinko 'au' ideas are literally better just as little headcannons or blurbs and nothing more. And that's okay, because now I got them out of my system.

5) If you want to write and finish a series, only post for that series. I'm learning this the hard way right now with Gokduō and Physical Paradox. It is really hard to focus on one or the other because I feel an odd pressure to get the next parts done for both, which is completely the opposite of what it should be.

The pressure drains my creativity, and I've found myself struggling because I'm too worried about what people will think of it instead of what I want it to be. In all honesty, I had a moment today where I almost decided I don't want to finish Gokudō because I'm not sure where to take it, but I realized I just need some time away from trying to force myself.

6) If you're unhappy with it, don't be afraid to scrap it. Use it as a starting point if you want, but don't get too attached to it if you don't like where it's going. Take a step back and ask if/how it's getting you where you want to go with that work, and if it doesn't help you get there, then it can go.

What was my approach with Another Level? (includes JJK Manga spoilers)

I'll elaborate a bit more on how I had things mapped out before I started posting first. Essentially, when the Gojo/Sukuna fight started in the manga, I just knew Gojo was going to die. In my mind, there was no way Akutami would let him live, and I was in a really bad place mentally and wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle it. And then I was like "wait, that's literally why we have fanfic, I can keep him alive as long as I want."

So, I started Another Level with the intention to keep it to myself and use it as my own comfort fic to prepare myself for Gojo's death. Some behind the scenes info: a version of the dream Rinko had in Split Bluff was the very first thing I wrote for Another Level. Except it originally wasn't a dream, it was going to be their reunion. However, they weren't as close, they were solidly friends with benefits who barely knew each other. Then, I wrote a part where Rinko first meets Yuuji at the Goodwill Event and she was Maki's legal guardian and still a teacher at Kyoto Tech, then I went further back and wrote her asking Gojo to get Maki enrolled at Tokyo Tech, and then I went further back and wrote Make a God Bleed.

As you already know because you've read Another Level, none of those stayed the same because then, as I kept writing, Rinko took on a life of her own. She became so much more than just a random OC that I threw together without thinking. And I have to say that I'm so glad she did because I'm not sure I would have been able to deal with 236 without Rinko. Some people have said Rinko helped them, but she's helped me so much as well. I mean it when I say she's cemented herself as my favorite original character that I've ever written because she has so much depth and heart that I accidentally poured into her. Not to mention that she's helped me meet some really amazing people along the way.

I'm in a bit of a rut now because I was on a marathon of writing for about five or six months. I started writing Another Level in May, and while I wrote the first draft for All That I Am Is Yours probably in June or July, I pretty much completely rewrote it once we actually got there. Between May and now, I've written upwards of 300k words of JJK fanfic, not including the installments or drafts I scrapped completely 🙃

Posting schedule with Another Level:

As someone who is severely ADHD, my hyperfocus was strong with Another Level. I was obsessed. And I was even more obsessed when I realized people were enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In all honesty, part of what kept me on a strict uploading schedule with Another Level was a desire for the validation and praise in the comments. While I had a lot written, I uploaded so quickly because I wanted to get that lil rush from seeing the comments.

Kiko is about to do a lil bit of oversharing for ya: I'd just left a job where I'd spent the last six months there with my formerly wonderful boss decided to blame me for every little thing that went wrong, and then she couldn't understand why my performance actually started to drop. I hadn't heard a damn word of positive feedback for anything I did in so long that the comments on Another Level helped pull me out of a very depressive state.

But, it quickly became unhealthy because I started to rely on them to the point where it was all I cared about. All I cared about was seeing comments on the newest Another Level installment, and when there wasn't feedback, I got all in my head about what I'd done wrong and wanted to post the next installment as quickly as possible because maybe that one would do better.

Now, this is not me saying that wanting comments is a bad thing. Feedback is very important, and it's hard to know if people are enjoying something when there's not anything to go on. But it does become a problem if it's the only reason you're writing. I've been very fortunate in that I haven't gotten comments or messages demanding updates because I've seen that others do receive those sometimes. I like to think it's because you guys are just awesome and wonderful people.

I've gotten a bit better about being obsessed with comments because I have this nice lil corner of wonderful people and I feel like I've made a few genuine friends here. (Hi Rai, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing well.)

I know that what I just described for my Another Level posting schedule contradicts what I said in the beginning, but I will say that while my posting schedule was heavily driven by that need for praise, my writing schedule was not. I was writing so much because I was enjoying myself. I was having more fun writing than I had in years. I still am, but I do have to keep reminding myself some of the points I made above otherwise I find myself falling into a rut.

THIS WAS PROBABLY WAY MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR AND I AM SO SORRY 🫠

BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE AND THAT IT WASN'T JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS 😭😭🙃

[glazelilyy]

Helloo!! Oh my goodness I love love love your writing. It flows. Beautifully!!!!! OMG!! Perfection at its finest!! You probably hear this a lot but YOUR SKILL at the craft of writing is immaculate, amazing<333!!!

You inspire me to write so so much!! I’m 15 and want to write as good as you when I’m older!! I love writing too!! Whenever I feel unmotivated I read your kaeya fanfictions (I LOVE KAEYA)Your blog is the main reason I started my own genshin fanfic blog too!!

I’ve been a fan for maybe a year now so I just wanted to let you know (i took soo long bc I’m shy HAHA) BUT you’re writing is amazing and you are a super awesome person!! Take as much time as you need away from writing this is in NO means meant to pressure you Luce and take care!! We support you!!❤️❤️

i remember when i first read this it made me tear up, thank you for such a sweet message!! :) <3 i did end up taking quite a long break but i've always kept messages like yours in my heart, thank you for your kindness and thoughtful words. you really have no idea how much hearing that my writing inspired you helped me :) congrats on your blog btw!!! it's been a while since i received this ask, how are you liking writing on your blog so far? i hope it's been pleasant and enjoyable for you :)

if you ever have any fic recs or need someone to bounce fic ideas off of, feel free to send me another ask! i'd be happy to chat :)

[carnalapples]

hi!!!!!! i have questions!!!!!!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

Hello thank you for the ask Rowan!!!!!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

I’m pretty proud of the different AUs in rivers; I enjoy thinking through all the chain reactions that would have had to occur for a certain set of circumstances to be in place. I’m also really happy with how the world of my Hawke/Sebastian fic is coming together, although I still need to do a lot of work before it gets someplace I’d be happy publishing (and I am impatient). The Free Marches are such a good playground!! I like the idea that Ashna’s sister is Inquisitor in this world, even though it barely comes up lol. She recruits the templars as one major change, and I like the potential mirroring of a dynamic between the Hawkes and the Trevelyans. (The more I look at what I consume and write, I really like strange family dynamics lol!)

While I'm off-topic, wedding ceremonies. Real or fictional, I'll never get tired of learning about them, lol.

9. How do you find new fic to read?

I am a very picky reader at times, haha. I usually have an idea not so much of what specifically I want to read but what kind of mood I want to be in. Sometimes I know I want like a modern AU or a specific trope, or I might have Thoughts about one part of canon and want an AU specifically about that… (ME2 Horizon...) So usually I just go on AO3 to the fandom and filter characters/pairings and explore, sometimes with specific searches. For DA in particular I love the Black Emporium Exchange collections, the rarepairs are so good!

A lot of the fandoms I want to read for are smaller, so I'll just gradually work through everything that looks interesting haha. Really often, I’ll go to authors I enjoy and check out their bookmarks; because of this, I read fandom-blind a lot and have often gotten into fandoms after reading fic, which is always a fun time (This is how I got into Dragon Age, actually! And why I’ve read so much Mad Men fic for someone who has never seen Mad Men LOL)

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

I think I tried to stretch myself with a heart because I'd never written a continuous multi-chapter story before. Really, I took a risk with risky business; I’d never written for Zevran or Josephine before, and I was so nervous because I wanted to do it right and on a deadline. I don't know even now if I matched up to what I wanted, but with the deadline, I had to get it out there no matter what, and I couldn’t back out; that really helped. I think now when I write and I'm going over something over and over or delaying posting, I can ask myself: is it going to get any better with the skills I have, or is posting this and moving on to something else the way to grow?

Also, every time I write sex is pushing my comfort zone lol, I always post and think "oh ok, that's out there." Slowly trying to expand said zone.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I’ve recently been sidetracked from all things Dragon Age, and have been bouncing between that Miranda/Shepard fic and this fic for a Hindi movie I watched a while back. (At this point, I'm getting distracted from distractions 😭) A few lines from the latter:

He thinks that as much as he wants to protect Akira, she is the one protecting him. From getting old and bitter and somehow from dying. Suddenly, he feels a hollowness inside him, the conspicuous lack of something. The lack of her body and her warmth pressed tight up against him. The lack of her voice and her incessant chatter. His life is very quiet without her. Figuratively speaking, which is another thing he doesn’t really do without her. This life is not conducive to metaphor.  Her pants were too big, that’s what he remembers. They lent her the extras they had, and if they were big on Krishnan, of course they’d be big on her. She had to cinch them up, and he hates the way he feels when he thinks about it. 

Thank you again for the ask!!

[dragonmasterhiccup]

As he leaned forwards and exhaled, Danny found herself taking some of his advice; act scared. That wasn’t exactly what he had told her in that cave, but it was basically the gist of it. If she acted smaller, weaker, more fearful than she actually was, maybe he wouldn’t go so hard on her.

She wished she didn’t feel the need to act scared in front of him. He was the last person she should feel the need to act scared around.

But still, as much as she shouldn’t feel the need to, she still found herself hugging her legs to her chest, resting her head on her knees, and ever so slightly widening her eyes.

…

Had those words been bouncing around in her mind? Before all of this? She didn’t think so, but now that she actually thought about it… “I guess, ever since I got here, it’s been just popping up.” She shrugged. “You know when you like look at somebody, and you think of the wildest, craziest things ever? But you know it’s not true, so when it does come up, you can just shake it off? It’s kind of like that, except since I almost got killed, I couldn’t shake it off, and it just kept piling up.”

Letting out a shaky breath, she continued, “Hiccup, I’m not trying to think like that, I don’t want to think like that, I just do think like that. Sometimes it feels like everyone around me are just horrible people, and I’m the only good person. And I know that’s not true, I know that if anything, I’m the bad person, not them.”

“I’m sure you’d be upset if I questioned your intentions, Hiccup. I’m not calling you a liar, because you’re not, but think about it; if I came up to you and told you something crazy, something like, ‘Hey Hiccup, I’m scared that you’re gonna send me back to Spitelout to get executed,’ you wouldn’t be happy to hear that.”

He shook his head, unable to relate, but he had some idea of what that might to do someone.

His eyes softened as he listened to her explain. Gods, he was just as much in the wrong as she was, wasn't he?

"Danny, you're not the bad person, alright? We all make mistakes, we're all just trying our best."

She did have a point. "Well, no, I guess I wouldn't be thrilled, but I'd much rather you come to me than you start worrying about something like that happening...which, for the record, it won't, I can promise you that."

Pausing, he straightened up in his chair. "You have a family to lean on now, Danny. We can't help unless you let us."

Debating for a moment, he stood up, leg creaking, and held his hand out towards her, a slight sparkle in his eyes, and a hint of a mischievous grin.

"Maybe we should start over. Hi, I'm Hiccup, your brother, and also chief of this quaint village. How are you?"

[brotherwtf]

I want to write a fic but I've never written before not do I have any experience in writing anything tbh. Plus English isn't my first language. Any advice?

hey anon!!

honestly my one piece of advice is to just go for it. It's gonna be a little rough at first, writing long form content is no joke, but if you're having fun while doing it that's all that really matters. fanfic is supposed to be for the soul and you're writing what makes you happy, if it's passionate it comes off as such and reads really well.

if you don't have any experience writing, that's okay! I barely had any experience when I started writing fics also! it's a little daunting to see such talented writers in fandom and feeling the need to compare yourself to them (I too have fallen victim to that), but no experience is required to be a fic writer lol. all you need is an idea and a doc and you're a fic writer. it takes a lot of courage to sit down and write a fic, getting over the initial hump of anxiety is (for me) the most difficult part.

I always found that just dumping my ideas into a doc or smth was the best way to just get over my anxious feelings about it. that or just writing a scene you have in your head to see how it writes out, just dumping kind of helps me with the fic writing process

I've also found that having someone (a mutual, follower, friend, etc) to bounce ideas off of is really helpful. having a second opinion is nice to see what ideas flow nicely and which ones are kinda clunky. my messages and inbox are always open, so feel free to ask for help if you ever feel like you need it☺️☺️

honestly, I have read some of the most beautiful and captivating fics from people who's first language isn't English! I wouldn't let a language barrier stop you from enjoying fandom and participating in it, everyone should be able to have fun. I know there's a fair amount of fics in other languages on AO3, so it doesn't have to be in English! it doesn't matter if it's your first, second, third language, people are going to eat up content no matter what.

honestly my big take away is don't be afraid to write fics. fandom is a big wonderful world where you get to take the reins and have fun with it, and that includes writing fics about whatever you want. just know that there will always be people (myself being one of them) who will love and support your work.

again, my messages and inbox are always open! I'd love to hear fic ideas or hcs all day long, I'm here to help! 💕💕

[verdadurmaz]

There wasn't a lack of adoration for the woman at her side, nor was there ever a lack of good for fun teasing. "They say Satan was an angel once too," she countered with a wink and coy grin. She'd accept being the worst of the worst, even if a small part of her leaned less into the joke side of things and more so into the truth of the simple statement meant for a good laugh. "Just be happy you weren't one of them," she bounced back smoothly and with a gentle nudge into the other's arm. She'd never thought of herself to be a jealous person, but she wondered what her wife's response would have been to someone offering to be a third. "Is that a promise?"

She'd awaited the click like most kids did during the wintery nights of December. It wasn't anything she'd ever thought much of considering the lack of a celebration, but the anticipation had nearly drove her bad, only for nothing to happen. She could blame plenty of things; timing, her heart, her inability to genuinely accept anything good, but in the end, it was her love for another that had stifled anyone's chance at every capturing her own. "I keep telling myself that, but time, right? It's supposed to heal everything or whatever."

Another playful nudge was sent into the other's arm at the mention of a shower. Heat flooded her veins and a deep red blush settled on her cheeks. "First off, neither of us have a shower big enough for three people, and secondly, I think you should meet her first. Might scare her away with that mind of yours." If anything, she knew that Emmy would feed into it with utter ease, but there wasn't an ounce of worry anywhere to be found. "If that's true, then I need plenty of sessions to help clear everything that's in my head. Seriously, I might lose it one day soon."

While her lack of a proper business education made her feel inadequate at times, her experience and her ability to rationalize every decision had worked in her favor. "I think that's probably the best route financially, but also logically? I think people look for convenience more than anything. Especially people with busy schedules and the people who like to know they're getting the most bang for their buck." She checked various apps some days to see what offers were available, but someone who visited her place religiously would be more likely to check even more often.

"I know it's kind of polar opposite of healthy avenues, but I'd offer you some kind of partnership with the bakery... if you'd want?" It was far from smoothies and healthy poses, but if it meant giving the other a leg up on business, and maybe doing it for her gain too, she'd make the offer and see where it could take them. "I think keeping the staff is a good idea. So is the raise. They'll love working under you and honestly, I think you have the best idea in mind already. So, if you're worried about it potentially not working... trust me, it'll work."

"By terrible you mean amazing, beautiful, outstanding, and purely angelic." Hana fluttered her clean lashes and lifted her chin with a sweet little grin on her lips, as if that displayed her angel status. "You're definitely the worst but that's why I love you so much. You always make me feel better about my mistakes," the raven haired yoga instructor teased, elbowing her friend beside her. "But... if you and the wife ever need a third," brow lifted with insinuation, "call me night or day." Another joke but also something Hana would consider should the unthinkable happen.

The fact that Hana felt confident enough to speak on these matters of relationships and dating was bad enough. She had one failed relationship in her history and active avoidance of commitment ever since. Yet, she threw her weight around in the matter as though she had a clue. "See, if you don't feel the click at the start then it's a waste of time. That spark should always be there— no matter how nice and attractive they are. No matter how many boxes they check." A little jiggle of her shoulders and Hana added, "you're good. In the end you did the right thing and at least you were honest about it. Sucks that anyone had to get hurt but at least you broke things off right."

Considering her previous offer Hana's brow lifted and she tried her best to take it as the tease it was but the imagery in her head led her astray briefly. "When you say join us... do you mean in like a shower afterward or...?" After a few moments of a seriously inquisitive expression it finally broke and Hana laughed, fell into Verda a little as she did so. "I could do your first lesson for free," she offered.

With a wave of her hand, somewhat dismissively, "oh, more than that, babe." The Humming Bee was not only very lucrative Hana also had private sessions she made good money on. Outside of that she had her earnings as a model and still did the occasional work in high fashion. "See, pretzel bending is not just good for the mind, body, and soul. It's also great for the bank. I love you too, by the way."

Since Verda was also a business owner she valued her opinion on this. In general her friend's opinion meant a great deal but this was something they could really relate on. The support she immediately received offered a lot of good feelings, so much so that Hana felt her confidence grow in that moment about her plan. "That's exactly what I was thinking! Most stop over here after a session and joining the two just makes sense. Plus, there could be exclusive deals, plans, and membership levels."

Nodding, Verda brought up good points and thinking on the fly, Hana replied, "I would keep the current staff and management team. Or anyone that wanted to stay. And likely give them a raise." She'd asked one of them what their wages and pay rate was and played it off as a comparison in curiosity to her favorite place she used to go in New York. "I want this business to grow too so I wanna attract more people here as well."

[louhazpride]

hey Pai!! how are you? still thinking about Hate To Smoke, and i'm kinda fascinated to know what other people's writing processes are, so i'd love to know more about your whole experience writing it, if you want 💕

Hi E!  I’m doing great!  Well, if you don’t take into consideration that I’ve been reading instead of studying today 🙃  Ask me tomorrow and I’ll probably be hating myself haha

I’d love to tell you about my writing process!  I’ve added it under the break, so it doesn’t clog up the dashboard!

My writing process is a little different for each fic, but for the most part, I always try to plan what I am going to write.  Writing without a plan is almost invitation for disaster for me.  I would never actually finish the fic or I’d go in a million different directions.

For Hate to Smoke, I started out writing the first scene in mid-March.  After that, I wasn’t really inspired to write on it so I added it to my WIP folder.  I didn’t actually think I’d ever finish it.  In June, I posted the teaser to see if people would be interested in reading it, and I was pleasantly surprised!  

I spent about a week just trying to outline and I wrote the scenes out of order based on what I was inspired by.

The laser tag scene was originally meant for a different fic, but I felt that it fit perfectly with their banter and it gave a great setup for the ending.

The first draft was ~7K words, and the scene of Harry bumping into Louis on the stairs was never part of the original fic.  You can thank @deludedandlostcause for her help brainstorming how to make that happen 😂  Also Louis hiding under the bed was a last-minute addition after I received feedback from my first beta.  

I honestly have no idea where the other 6K words came from.  I’m still shocked at how long it ended up being.  But overall, I realized that I love having people to brainstorm with.  It makes the whole writing process easier when I can bounce ideas off of someone else.

[londonalozzy]

Stop Pretending (TFATWS)

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: The reader thinks she's doing a stellar job of keeping her feelings for a certain soldier buried deep inside. Turns out, all it takes is an observant new friend to begin the unraveling of her most precious secret (Spoilers for TFATWS)

Masterlist

Word: Pretence

Definition: A way of acting that is intended to deceive people.

Example: Saying that he's just a friend when he's really the love of your life.

Your POV

Being caught in the midst of war is something that I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)  know all too well. As a war vet, former shield agent, and now Avenger I'm used to being centered amongst conflict. When the fight begins within me though, a battle between what I want and what I think is right, how will I react? Will I listen to my heart, my head, or will the winner be chosen for me?

Delacroix, Louisiana.....

I love my sleep, always have, always will. It's not necessarily the comfort of the bed, the quiet or even the rest. It's the fact that I'm at peace when I sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, so anything that will put that off for as long as possible I savor.

I wish it were the same for a certain super soldier in my life. I look forward to going to bed, everything calms down then, and for most people it's the same. For Bucky however, it's when everything starts, the nightmares, the terrors, the seemingly unending darkness. If only I could take his pain away like he has with mine.

For the last few weeks, my life had, for want of a better word, been hectic. Hectic to say the least.

After the eventual defeat of Thanos and the loses we endured as a result, I thought naively that life might calm down a bit, that I'd have time to breathe, to live. How wrong I was.

It all began with John Walker being announced to the world as the new Captain America.

I was baking cookies with Morgan in the Stark family kitchen when it came over the radio. As that latest turn of events sunk in, my first thoughts were of Bucky, what that would do to him. Not even an hour later I had said my goodbyes and was on my way to help him get the shield back.

Since then even more had happened. We'd regrouped with Sam, busted Zemo out of prison which in turn ruffled the feathers of Ayo and the Dora Milaje. We came face to face with Morgenthou and the Flag Smashers, and finally witnessed the man who thought he could even compete with Steve, make himself judge, jury and most significantly executioner.

After that went around the world we knew we had to end it sooner rather than later. It couldn't get much worse than Captain America becoming a murderer. We got the shield back, which was a fight all in itself. Handed Zemo over to Ayo, to try and recompense for the distrust we'd instilled in the people who'd helped us so much. Then we travelled to stay with Sam and his family in Louisiana whilst we waited for Karli's next move.

This is where we found ourselves now, in the eye of it, the calm before the storm.

Waking up in the Wilson households guest room, I was greeted to the golden hue of the rising sun penetrating through the single glaze windows, and the melodic sounds of gulls on the hunt for their morning meal down by the docks.

Actually, no that's not right. What I could hear was most certainly not birds, and it was definitely not melodic. What were those boys doing?

Quickly and quietly I threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on and made my way downstairs towards the noise. What caught my attention when I discovered the source, was not the two youngest Wilson boys playing with our newly reacquired shield in the living room, but the super solider who was blissfully ignorant to it all, sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of them. I don't think I'd ever been so happy.

"Right you two, if you're determined to play Avengers all morning then I suggest you re-assemble in the back yard. You're gonna wake Bucky up," I whispered out in one breath, stepping between the boys, then placing my hands on their backs and tip toeing them towards the door.

"So what if we wake him up? It's gone 10am," Cass questioned in protest, pulling on his sneakers and jacket.

"Exactly! Which is why if you do as I say, I will make you the biggest plate of waffles for breakfast that you've ever seen."

The boys eyes lit up. "Can we have ice cream with it? Mum never lets us have ice cream for breakfast, and I'm sure there's a tub of Stark raving hazelnuts in the freezer," AJ clapped in muted excitement. "Oh, for God's sake.....Yes. You can have whatever you want if you get out of this house now and keep the noise down."

Once the boys were outside, I made my way over to the kitchen, stopping on the way to lean over my favourite senior citizen and make sure that he was still peaceful in his slumber. He'd never looked so relaxed, so at ease. It was a brand new Bucky I'd never seen before, a Bucky that had my heart pounding for him even more than it normally did. Not that he knew any of that.

Half an hour later and up to my elbows in waffle mix, I failed to notice my new friend and host Sarah making her way to my side at the counter, the huge smile on my face not going unnoticed. "What's got you grinning like the Cheshire cat, like I need to ask?"

"Bucky's sleeping. Isn't it amazing?" I spoke softly, bouncing up and down on my feet as I did so.

"And why is that?" She couldn't looked more confused if she tried.

"In all the years I've known him, I don't think I've ever woken up before he has. If his nightmares don't keep him awake all night, they normally have him up before the crack of dawn. I don't think I've ever seen him so still."

"Good answer," Sarah nodded in a hush, understanding why this meant so much to me, but not done yet with her morning interrogations, "Now on to my next question......"

"I'm already not liking the sound of this."

"Sleeping Beauty over there follows you around like a little puppy dog. He hangs on your every word, looks at you like you hung the stars or something. It's pretty obvious how crazy he is about you, so when are you gonna stop pretending that you're not head over heels in love with him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Wilson," I smiled forcefully, making out like the waffle maker deserved my attention way more than the conversation I was being made to have.

This was all Sam's doing, without a shadow of a doubt. He'd tried to have this conversation with me on multiple occasions and I shut him down every time. He obviously hadn't given up like I thought he did, and decided to draft in his sister. He is seriously gonna regret it when I find him.

"Sure you know what I'm talking about. Sam sees it, I don't even know you that well and I see it. The only reason Bucky doesn't, is because he doesn't believe he could ever be that lucky. You're a smitten kitten." These Wilson's are all as annoying as each other.

Knowing I wasn't getting out of this one, I grabbed Sarah by the arm and pulled her right into the corner of the room, trying my best to keep this convo as private as possible. "Look, I'm not pretending.....I'm ignoring. There's a difference."

"Care to explain what that difference is?" Sarah spoke softly, but with a sarcastic air.

Turning to look over my shoulder at the subject of our conversation, making sure he was still safely in the land of nod, I decided to just be honest. Sarah was much like her brother. Once she wanted to get to the bottom of something she wasn't about to give up.

"I love Bucky, more than I've ever loved anyone...and that terrifies me," the rawness of finally being honest making my voice shake, and tears come to my eyes. "Nat was like my sister, and she's dead. Tony was the closest I've ever gotten to having a Dad...and he's dead too. Then there's Steve, Vision, God knows where Wanda is....Everyone I love, either leaves or dies. If I admit my feelings for Buck then I face the risk of losing him too."

"Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? He's not going to die because you love him (Y/N)."

Silent tears were falling now. I was revealing my deepest fears to a woman I'd only known a few days, and I'm not underplaying it when I say it was like a colossal weight off my chest, a release I didn't know I needed. "Believe me...I know, but I can't take that risk. I can't lose anyone else, especially not him."

"Let's just say for a second that you're right, that there is some higher power somewhere, set on destroying everyone you love. Do you really think ignoring your feelings is going to make them disappear?" I didn't know what to say to that. "Natasha and Stark died so that everyone could continue living, and (Y/N) you're not living as long as you keep this to yourself. They wouldn't want that for you."

"But what if I lose him?" I whispered with a choked sigh.

"Then at least he'll die knowing how you felt about him. After everything he's been through don't you think he deserves to know there's someone out there who loves him like you do?"

"Of course..."

Sarah's lips pulled upwards in a satisfied smirk, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze, "then you owe it to yourself, and to him, to tell him the truth."

"Why do all you Wilson's have to be so clever?" I voiced in mock irritation, pushing her away from me and acting like I was annoyed she had gotten one up on me.

"I don't know," she thought aloud and with a cheeky grin, grabbing a plate to start piling on the long forgotten waffles, "I think it might be the sea air or something."

"Nah, it's in the genes," I chuckled quietly, grabbing my jacket and deciding it was time to get this conversation wrapped up. "I'll go find Sam and the boys for breakfast. Clear my head a little bit."

"You promise you're gonna tell him?" Sarah stopped me as I went to push the door open.

"I'll think about it."

3rd person POV

Once (Y/N) was out of ear shot, Sarah couldn't help but start jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands loudly as she did so. That went even better than she thought it would, and she was so proud of herself. Sarah Wilson could now add matchmaker to her resume.

"Coast is clear Barnes. You can open your eyes now."

(Y/N) had no idea what she had metaphorically walked into just minutes earlier, entering that very revealing conversation with her overly inquisitive host.

What drew Sarah to come down that morning was the sounds of both the front porch door opening and the smell of homemade waffles wafting up the stairs. As she entered the kitchen she was met with two sights. One being (Y/N), facing the counter and looking very smiley, the other being a wide awake super soldier who was just laying on the couch and staring at her, the sole object of his affection. Sarah could work with this.

Every time (Y/N) turned back in his direction, Bucky would close his eyes and pretend to be asleep again. He had never slept so soundly, so peacefully, thoughts of (Y/N) and his new friends filling his nightmare free dreams.

He'd initially woken to (Y/N) ushering the boys outside because she was afraid they would wake him up. He didn't want to disappoint her by proving her right. Besides, he liked just watching her move around the kitchen, completely unaware he was observing her the whole time. He had no idea about the conversation that was just about to happen.

After (Y/N) had left and Sarah had confirmed so, Bucky sat himself up, his body shaking with adrenaline and a look of complete shock fixed on his face. Had he definitely woken up, or had the whole thing been a part of his dream? Did (Y/N) seriously just admit that she was in love with him?

Bucky didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say as he looked up at a smug Sarah from his spot. All he'd ever wanted was for (Y/N) to feel the same way about him as he did about her. Now he knew that she did.

"You're welcome by the way."

[salemorbit]

Hi, sorry if I'm overwhelming you with Requests, but I had an idea for an Imagine that I'd really love to see you write!! Could you please write some Headcanons for how Link, Zelda, Sidon and Revali (Age of Calamity timeline for Sidon btw) would react to a young woman who has a very strong connection to the Spirits being sent to teach Zelda how to unlock her power? Like it's a young woman, around 18 years old, who has a natural ability to communicate with all manner of Spirits, maybe even is part Spirit in some way, so she gets appointed by the King of Hyrule to teach Zelda how to do the same? And maybe she's super nice and excited too? Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!!

oh darling you're totally fine i really appreciate it :D

i hope i did this justice! it's a really neat concept

i also made it an x reader with those attributes if that's okay :)

~~~~~~

Hylia's Guide

[BOTW x fem!Reader]

Headcanons (Link, Zelda, Revali, Sidon)

warnings: none

takes place during Age of Calamity!

also for headcanon's sake,,,,,being a descendant of hylia in this case doesnt mean that you're of the same family? if that makes sense? okay so like reader is descended from hylia and technically so is zelda but they aren't blood related in any way HAHA hope that makes sense

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

Let's set the scene, yeah?

You were one of the descendants of Hylia from centuries past, now a ghost in the afterlife as part of the universe itself.

Naturally, you would be surprised when you became sentient once more and blinked open your eyes in the middle of Hyrule Field. In your head rang a soothing voice that you both heard in your head and felt in your bones. In an instant, you knew it was Hylia communicating with your physical form again after years of dormant sleep.

The voice instructed that you were to aid Zelda in her studies of connecting to her powers. Hylia could not intervene directly with Zelda, of course, but the most the Goddess could do was send someone in her place. And that was you: a descendant of Hylia's own bloodline resurrected from the dead come to help the princess in her efforts. Easy enough, right?

Convincing the King and his guards of the situation was difficult, let alone trying to get him to allow you to assist his precious daughter with her practice. The only proof that you had of any story that you told were the markings on your hands and chest.

Three distinct triangles etched themselves on your body: one on the back of each hand and the third on your chest. Your powers had long since been passed on to the next descendant of Hylia, but you were still full of the knowledge of how to use Hylia's gift and how to communicate with the spirits.

•••

Link

Link was wary of you at first, being the princess's appointed knight and all, but he soon figured that you weren't as much of a threat as he initially thought

You were kind and excited to meet someone else who also held Hylia's gift (albeit not necessarily awakened, but still) and Link knew that Zelda would be safe in your hands

While going on spiritual treks with Zelda and Link, you almost always made the meals because both Zelda and Link can't really cook lmao

Coming from an entirely different era, you had a big book of recipes in your head that you brought into reality with every meal you made, and Link definitely wasn't complaining

He appreciated your wide breadth of knowledge of different foods, plants, and wildlife that you might encounter on your travels

It made planning protective measures for the princess all the easier

Sometimes the ventures to connect to Hylia didn't bear any fruit (and that's okay because the gift takes plenty of patience!) and the mood could become solemn quickly

But you were always determined to lift the mood and lighten everyone's attitude, and it always worked!

You would excitedly ramble off stories about where you grew up or what you liked to do on your own travels back in the day, and it would always make Link feel warm that you had such fond memories you were willing to share with him

When Zelda needed time to herself to try to connect to the spirits and Hylia, you and Link would hang around each other and bond

Link would listen attentively as you talked about the cultural and time differences between your world and this one, sharing sympathy when you expressed nostalgia over your time lost

But you would quickly turn it around to the positives, which is what Link thought was a wonderful quality that you had

If you ever got caught off guard while on ventures by the Yiga Clan or rogue animals, Link would fight just as hard as he would in larger battles to keep you safe

Over the time you spent together, Link grew very fond of you and always was at your side if he wasn't immediately attending to the princess

Once your guidance and knowledge finally broke through to Zelda and her power awakened, Link was so proud of you for fulfilling your duty

He was worried that you would disappear from his life once you completed Hylia's task, but you connected to the spirits after the fact and bargained with them

At the end of it all, you were able to live your life through again with Link by your side :)

•••

Zelda

Goddess was Zelda relieved when she found out that she would be having a guide to help her unlock her powers

Upon meeting you, she was absolutely floored with your kindness and willingness to help her with her problems

You were a wonderful mentor to Zelda, teaching her things about the different spirits and how to harness the power that she never would have dreamed of researching on her own

And wow there was a lot of information HAHA

Zelda was also transfixed with the fact that you came from another lifetime, and you were more than happy to tell her all about your life before this one

She would also take very detailed notes about everything you said, enamored with the way you spoke and how excited you got about things you loved

Quiet study time in Zelda's room would often turn into challenges of you trying to make her laugh with small tidbits of stupid stunts you would pull

Of course Zelda couldn't hold back a smile when you were around, so the challenges would fall short but with you falling into fits of laughter

You always brightened Zelda's mood whenever she was down about a failed connection attempt, urging her to try more and be patient with herself

Zelda was thankful to Hylia for sending you because honestly she wouldn't know what to do without someone that was as kind and generous as you were with spreading knowledge about your gifts

And when they finally awakened, Zelda couldn't be more happy!

Hyrule was now safe with Zelda's power awakened and Ganon on the edge of being sealed away

She pleaded that you find a way to stay in her time and teach her more about the spirits and Hylia herself

Your heart warmed at the thought that someone wanted you to stay, and it warmed even more at the fact that someone loved you enough to want to keep you forever :)

•••

Sidon

Sidon met you when he was summoned with the other Champion successors

You were the first to greet him and explain what had happened with the time jumping and all that, and you helped to put his nerves at ease

His own excitable and boisterous personality bounced off of your own energy and buzz!

Fighting side by side with you, Sidon admired how you always had a strategy and were looking out for Zelda as if she was your own sister

He was surprised upon learning your story: never had he known that Hylia had the power like that to bring someone back to help those in the present

Sidon tried his best to stay by your side whenever he could, wanting to keep your blind spots covered just in case

In your time, you had known the Zora and actually knew King Dorephan when he was a young little guppy, and your stories of Dorephan never failed to make Sidon laugh

Sidon in turn shared his own tales of the evolved Zora Domain, and you found his storytelling absolutely captivating

Sidon felt a pull to you like he had to no one else before, and he nurtured that pull with his own heart

He made sure you had enough supplies, checked in on you immediately when you came back from a far off mission

Just an all around softie I think! Sidon has always been caring like that :)

When it was time for him to go back, you discovered a way that you could jump with him back to his own time

After all, your mission with Zelda from Hylia was over. Why shouldn't you be able to live your life through again?

You jumped back with Sidon to a world vastly different than the one you had just been in, and even more different than the one you were born into

But with Sidon, it always felt like home!

•••

Revali

Revali didn't want to be impressed, but he was Definitely Impressed

Your composure about the whole situation was amazing, and you handled all the questions everyone had with grace

And your kindness was overwhelming (in a good way) with the fact that you opened your mind to such possibilities of even being resurrected like that

Revali admired you through and through

He would be incessantly curious about what the afterlife was like, how the spirits communicated with you, what Hylia was like

You, of course, couldn't accurately answer most questions because, well, you couldn't remember, but you appreciated his desire to learn

You loved the way that he fought: with purpose and intent. There was little to no hesitation with Revali, he always had a plan

When you would go to treks with Zelda and Link to try to summon Zelda's power, Revali would make comments here and there insisting that he tag along just in case

Poor Rito really just wanted to spend more time with you, that's all!

If he did tag along, it would be to Lanayru with his knowledge of the cold weather

He would rattle off safety facts of mountain weather and gear you would need, and you would be happy to listen as long as he was talking to you

Revali would also love to hear about your old life, and since you could go on for hours about it all, he would sit and absorb everything that came out of your mouth

He was smitten in a matter of weeks!

He could see the care and sympathy you had for Zelda as she struggled and triumphed in her process of opening her powers, and he appreciated that you could care so much for someone like that

Revali subconsciously protected you even if there was a leaf that fell in the way of your path, as he was always on alert in case someone caught you off guard

As your time came to a close and Zelda awakened her powers, Revali demanded that you stay (with love, of course)

And stay you did, making a bargain with the spirits and living the rest of your second life in the company of the Rito warrior :)

~~~~~~~~~

hope i got this good!! i thought the concept was really neat and i kinda wished they did something like that actually :/ zelda didn't deserve that angst

requests are welcome :)

[a-pretty-nerd]

Chapter 8

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you’re in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word count: 2,214

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault (sexual assault does not occur). 

A/N: 

This took so long for no reason, I am so sorry. I hate the holidays, I’m always so busy and can’t do anything I enjoy and it just drained all my time and energy. I’m so glad it’s over. Anywhoo, I hope ya’ll like this chapter! 

Chapter 7 Chapter 9

You starred up at the ceiling, nodding off into space as your mind wondered. The cracks in the ceiling painting an abstract paining, giving you much to ponder on. You had been thinking about Shigaraki. The man had plagued your thoughts. You knew very little about him and it bothered you.

He subverted every expectation you had about villains. He was ruthless and driven, yes. Crude and dastardly, of course. But the glimpses of kindness he showed you, made your mind spin. Why was he so kind to you? Why was he training you to use your abilities? And why, on God's green earth were you attracted to him?

It made your head spin to think about. About him. His eyes. It was those red eyes. So bright in color and deep in thought. The way he looked at you, like he saw you. When was the last time someone had looked at you that way? Reality would soon sink in after these thoughts. Reminding you that you should fear him, hate him even. That you should be working to get yourself free. But, you hadn't made a single attempt to escape. What was there to escape? You weren't in any immediate danger. In fact, you were being taken care of.

A knock at the door shook you from your train of thought. Without waiting for an answer, the man you knew as Dabi walked in, and closed the door behind you. His glassy blue eyes watched you as he moved. He stood up against the wall adjacent from you, watching you, leering over you. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe, this is where your torture begins. Wordlessly he looked away to pull out a pack of cigarettes, place one to his lips and then look back at you.

"You don't mind, do you?" He asked. You shook your head. He turned away to use his quirk to light the thing and then silently take a few drags as he looked off into the distance. Was he going to rape you? This was the perfect opportunity for him to. You were honestly shocked you hadn't been by now. Normally, kidnapping victims were sexually assaulted in some way. But no one seemed interested, until now.

Would you have to fight him off? Could you fight him off? If you screamed would anyone come to help you? Would he kill you?

"What do you want?" You asked after a few minutes of silence. He looked back at you and raised a brow.

"I just wanted to smoke in piece. It's raining outside." He told you before going back to his smoking. "I do have a question for you though."

"What?"

"You really the big guy's daughter?" He took another drag.

"Yeah. Why?" He shrugged.

"The way you talk about him. Sounds like you don't get along." You shrugged.

"I don't know him enough." Dabi scoffed before finishing his cigarette and stomping it out. He licked his lips and kicked his leg as he shifted his weight. His eyes darting back to the door before looking at you again.

"You ever wanna be a hero?" He chuckled.

"No." Your voice firm and decided. He smiled.

"Why?"

"It's a shit job where I'm from."

"It's a shit job here." He remarked. You nodded.

"I know. Heroes are shit." You shared a few smiles with one another.

"With a quirk like yours, you could really do some damage."

"I know."

"Something tells me this isn't your first time off your meds. It can't be."

"It's not."

"Care to share-"

"No." You barked. The idea of it made your stomach turn and your heart ache. You worked so hard to push that down you weren't about to have that break down in front of a stranger. Dabi raised his brows and threw his hands up in a mocking motion.

"Alright, fine. None of my business." He scoffed.

"What do you want?" You asked again, not satisfied with his previous answer. He sucked on his teeth for a moment before answering.

"Shigaraki asked me to over see your training while he's out."

"He's gone?" You asked softly, maybe a little too softly.

"Afraid so. So it's just you...and me..." He smiled. You held your legs up to your chest and pulled them close. He looked you over and then scoffed. "Don't worry, kid, I'm not that kind of villain. Now get up, I'm your trainer for now and I'm not nearly as forgiving as the boss." He turned and opened the door, waiting for you to follow.

"Do you know why?" You asked as you laid your feet flat on the concrete floor. Dabi looked back at you with an emotionless expression. A face he often wore, it screamed "auto-pilot." Like he wasn't really all there.

"Why what?"

"Why he's training me. I don't understand. Why waist time with a hostage like this? Isn't he worried I couldn't fight back and escape?" You asked. Dabi thought for a moment as he watched you pass through the door and out into the living room.

"What goes through that lunatic's mind is beyond me." He closed the door behind you. "But if I had to take a guess, I'd say he's planning something using your quirk."

"Like what?" He shrugged and walked passed you, turning a corner into what used to be the building's break room, now a make-shift kitchen where temporary supplies were being stored.

"Fuck if I know." He muttered as he went about his business. He opened and rummaged through the fridge before turning back to you. "You hungry?" He asked.

"Um...no." You lied. He starred at you before turning back.

"That's a pity. You need to eat. Keep up your strength. You can't use your quirk properly if you don't have the right fule. Here." He threw a small blurry package at you. The lite weight objected bounced between your hands for a moment before you finally grabbed ahold of it. Instant noodles. Right fule huh?

"This is fule?" You asked.

"What? Were you expecting the fucking food pyramid? Do we look rich to you?"

"No, I just...the way you were talking. Like we were gonna chug raw egg yolks, it's just funny." You smiled. You made yourself the sad excuse for a meal and sat at the small plastic table and ate as Dabi made his own disaster. You watched him. By all accounts, he was a relatively normal guy. It always shocked you, how normal everyone was. How they moved and acted. Not like the villain characters you'd imagined in your head. But just, people.

As he sat down across the table from you, he set down two canned sports drinks, sliding one over to your side without a word. You took it and popped it open before taking a sip. You furrowed your brow.

"Sugar free?" You asked. He looked up at you, as if you had interrupted something important.

"What? Sugars bad for you, makes me bloated." Your smile widened. He relaxed his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. "What the fuck is so funny?" He barked. It only made you laugh.

"I'm it's just...I don't know.."

"Just what?"

"It's just so normal!" You flashed a dazzling smile without even trying. "Everyone here is just so...I don't know, human. Nothing like I expected. They paint this big scary picture on the other side but, everyones just so normal. Even nice at times, yknow?" He brushed you off and went back to eating. "So what's the plan right now?" You asked, picking at your food.

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

"The plan, the big scary villain plan. Now that the plan with me clearly failed. What's the big picture?" Why were you so happy? What's with that smile, those eyes. Dabi looked you over, trying to figure you out.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah! I wanna know."

"Why?"

"Because." He looked at you like he was waiting for you continue. You starred back blankly.

"Because?"

"Because."

"Oh my god."

"C'mon."

"Eat your food." He ordered.

"Please?"

"Shut up and eat."

"Are you gonna use my quirk to blow up a hero agency?"

"No."

"A military target?"

"A what?"

"Government building?" He rolled his eyes and stomped his foot.

"I don't know! Alright!? I don't know." The room fell silent for a moment. You ate a few more bites before finishing and waiting for him.

"So Shigaraki doesn't share everything with you, I take it?" You interjected.

"No he doesn't."

"So you trust him?" You asked.

"No."

"But you still follow his directions regardless?" You poked.

"Our agendas line up, that's all you need to know."

"Mh, okay. What are your agendas exactly? I have a vague idea of Shigaraki's and Toga's but I don't know yours."

"Why do you care?"

"I...." you thought about it for a little while. "I'm just trying to make sense of it all. Why, things are the way they are." He starred at you for a while. His blue eyes piercing your flesh.

"You already know why."

"Wait? Wait? What do you mean, wait!?" Your mother shouted furiously across the meeting room table. Rows of tables lined with pro-heros watched her out burst.

"I know you're concerned, but with all due respect ma'am-"

"Concerned!? Concerned!? I'm beyond concerned, I am livid! We finally know where my daughter is being held captive and you want to wait!?" She cried.

"Mrs. Please, we understand your concerns and believe me, we're going to get her as soon as we can but we can't just bust in there like last time."

"Last time?" Xavier piped up. "This has happened before?" The heroes looked at one another with a puzzled expression. Your father gave an exhausted sigh.

"A few years ago, a student of mine was kidnapped in an attempt to recruit him. Thankfully we were able to rescue the student, but it cost us. A run-in with All for One, Shigaraki's old mentor, nearly killed Best Jeanist, and led to my retirement. Since then, Shigaraki and his followers have become much more of a threat. We can't risk starting an all out battle again. They've positioned themselves in a very populated area. If we aren't careful, Shigaraki alone could decimate everyone and everything. We have to be careful about this." He explained.

"This isn't just about Y/N's safety anymore. We have to find a way to get her out of there without endangering the city around her." Eraserhead noted, looking down at the papers he held in had hands.

"If that's the case, shouldn't we be sending in heroes who specialize in stelth? If we can get her out there without anyone noticing, we won't have to fight. That way, we have time to evacuate everybody in case of an all out fight." A young voice suggested.

"I could see how that would be effective, Deku. But in order to pull off a mission like that we'd need more information. At this rate, even a stealth mission would be a rash discussion." Bubble Girl stood to attention at the projection on the screen.

"What about the girl herself? She didn't say anything about their numbers or the hideout itself?" DynaMight asked, his brows furred, eyes starring off into space in thought.

"Unfortunate no, and theres no way to contact her further at the moment. It's too dangerous." Eraserhead answered.

"Ugh, Heroes. Useless." Xavier spat, throwing himself from his seat and storming out of the room. Toshinari watched him and then turned back to your mother who sat there with her head hung low. Her dainty fingers shoving tears away from her face.

"This is all your fault." She muttered before standing and following Xavier out of the room. Your father sat there, frozen, unable to process or move or speak. She was right. It was his fault, he thought. If only he had asked you to stay that night. If only he took better care of you, if only he spent more time with you, if only, if only, if...only...

"Um, uh...meeting adjourned. You're dismissed." Your father shuffled out into the hallway, his head hanging low.

"Um...A-All Might?" A soft voice spoke. He slowly turned to find young midoriya standing there. His eyes sparkling as they always did. They never lost their sparkle, after all he'd been through.

"Young Midoriya..."

"...I...I never knew you had a daughter..."

"You weren't supposed to. No one was." He answered with a blank and flat tone.

"Right. Of course. I just...well...she doesn't have..."

"No. One for All isn't genetic so it's not passed on to a user's children. Why? Are you worried that Shigaraki might still be after it?" Deku nodded. Toshinori sighed and looked off in the distance. "You heard the phone call. She seemed fine...she even laughed. I haven't heard her laugh since..." he trailed off. Since she was a child. He hadn't heard you laugh since you were little. The revelation tugged at his weakened heart, shattering it to pieces.

"Sir?" Deku asked.

"Promise me something young Midoriya."

"What is it?"

"The world needs dedicated and strong heroes," Deku looked up at him with a determined furrowed brow, "but don't let it rule your world."

Taglist: 

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love

@kamenoyaki @hentaiqween101 @skzero-99 @justanotherlifeff

[hot-wiings]

The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.  

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know. 

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words. 

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked. 

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug. 

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals. 

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.” 

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not. 

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you. 

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.” 

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close. 

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.” 

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did. 

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother. 

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!” 

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him. 

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin. 

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

[kiame-sama]

🍋 Bunny- Yandere!Adult-Trio x Chubby!Gentle!Reader Lemon

Hello my lovies~! Here is the Adult-Trio for all of you (Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi).

Note: I do NOT and NEVER will support rape. These are stories so keep them that way. Force play is acceptable, forcing someone is rape.

Warnings; Non-con, Dub-con, consensual lemons and limes. Poly/ Harem style relationships. Hisoka's perverted nature. Illumi's absolute lack of social skills. Chrollo's manipulation tactics. Reader is sub to all three. Dom! Adult-trio. Conversations with the Zoldyck family, and the Phantom Troupe. Much confusion. Protective, Sadistic, and Obsessive yanderes. Likely to be longer than usual chapters. All three are hung like a horse.

~~~~~~~~

You sat on Chrollo's lap as he rest his chin on your shoulder, holding a book in front of the two of you with one hand. His arms wrapped securely around you, keeping you caged against his bare chest. His warmth seeping through your clothes, his jacket laying over your front like a blanket.

It was nearing the end of a job for the Phantom Troupe and most had gone off without a hitch. The only 'issue' that came up were the incessant questions from the Troupe.

Chrollo had never told them he had a significant other, and surely you would tell them more than their stoic leader. Uvogin was likely the worst about it, closely followed by Nobunaga, then Machi. But all of them were curious about you regardless.

Chrollo would allow them to ask their questions until they took too much of a flirting tone, then a single glance from him sends them away. They figure that he must be furious if he was willing to tear his eyes away from his book. Problem is, he considers anything other than questions involving him as some kind of flirting.

"Since when do you have a girlfriend!?"

"... I'm his fiancé..."

"You're getting married!? How long have you two known each other?"

"A while."

"What-? Where did you even come fr-"

Uvogin quickly fell silent as those intense steel eyes locked with his. Okay. Off-limits question.

It didn't take too long for the Troupe to catch the hint that their leader wanted some space so they quickly backed off, giving him some much needed room.

"They didn't even notice."

"Ch-Chrollo... I said I didn't want to..!"

"Shh... No one will ever know. You have to stay quiet though, or else they'll figure out what we've been doing. I just want to feel you for a bit, it doesn't have to be for very long."

You bit down on your lip as his unoccupied hand rest beneath his jacket, silently rubbing your exposed heat. He had been for a while now. It was a good thing the troupe explained away your blush due to nerves.

It didn't take much movement from him to unbutton your pants, sliding them down your thighs until you were exposed enough for him to tease you. He hadn't turned the page in a long time, likely due to the book only being a front to throw off the troupe. You stifled a whimper, slightly arching your back.

"Chrollo..!"

"(Y/n), I promise you, they won't catch us. So long as you keep that beautiful voice of your's quiet, they will never know."

"... Promise?"

"I swear to you."

You didn't respond to his reassurance to keep the scandalous behavior secret from the others. He took your silence as a 'yes' and deftly unbuttoned his pants, sliding you back by your hips to rub your soft pussy against his aching cock. You had no idea how on earth you were supposed to be quiet with that monstrous length being stuffed into you. Sometimes you couldn't help but shiver in anticipation, knowing what a stretch it was taking his entire length into you.

Chrollo lightly kissed your shoulder, lowering your hips and allowing gravity to help him sink into you. Your entire body tensed at the almost painful intrusion, sitting as still as possible to get used to it. Deep breaths from the male behind you drew your attention to how still he was sitting. He was typically unable to remain still for so long, but it seemed like he was being patient today.

"I'm going to start thrusting just a bit... I need to feel your tight walls massage my cock."

"But, Chrollo..!"

"You can't expect me to sit completely still while buried to the hilt in my most precious treasure."

"They'll notice..!"

He hummed and the book began to faintly glow in his hands before a kind of bubble shield wrapped a full dome around the two of you with at least a 10ft radius. It must be a skill he stole... But what did it do?

"Now they won't see us. All they see is an innocent couple cuddling. They can still hear us, so stay quiet, but now I can bend you over this pillar and pound you into the ground like I want to."

"Chrollo, you said you just wanted to feel for a bit, not a full session..!"

"You're always so naive, I can't help but deceive you just to see how much you still trust me."

"But-"

Your whimpering complaint was cut off sharply by his lips firmly pressed into your own, his hips now bucking up roughly into you. There was no choice but to keep your lips locked with his to keep all of the moans inside. The jacket falling from your shoulders as he used his free hand to pull up your shirt and bra, allowing your chest to bounce freely.

He broke the intimate kiss and bent you over the fallen pillar, as promised. You began panting helplessly as his thrusts forced all of the air out of your lungs, nails digging into the chipped stone. You had to put your head down to try and muffle the noises that were fighting to get out of you.

Your body began to shake as he continued to bury himself into you, keeping one hand firmly on the book to keep the illusion from disappearing.

"Mmm~ I do love riding you like this... Do they do it too? Can they ride you to the point you're drooling and a complete mess?"

"N-no..! Only you..."

Trying to keep your voice from squeaking out or getting louder as you responded to the black-haired male. He was right, he was best at riding you like this in comparison to the other two.

"Only me."

You bit harshly on your hand, feeling that burning coil winding up inside of you. Your whole body began tensing from the pleasure bubbling up in you. It didn't take long for that coil to snap as you cry into your hand.

Your whole body spasmed with every following thrust before he released into you, moaning softly into your ear. You whimpered softly as he kissed your neck, slowly pulling out of you. You stayed in that position, laying out over the pillar and catching your breath.

You knew he was staring at you, pleased with what he had done to you and the mess he made of you. He was the most intelligent of your partners and he had a way of making you convinced you want him. He was skilled in letting the other two drive you closer to him for seeming more stable mentally and emotionally. A light chuckle met your ears and you glared over your shoulder at the amused male. He watched you closely with a smirk on his lips, his hair ruffled from the usual slicked back style.

"Fuck off, Chrollo."

"Not likely. I'd rather keep fucking you, but it seems I managed to tire you out."

"... I told you I was already tired. Not my fault you didn't listen."

He just chuckled again and casually fixed his clothes, slicking back his hair once more. Once he was pleased with his appearance, he gently rubbed your back, pulling your clothes back on and pulling you back onto his lap. You were exhausted and happy to settle for laying back against his chest, pulling his jacket close and snuggling down.

"Careful. Keep moving against me like that and I won't be able to hold myself back."

"That sucks. You've already fucked my brains out today, so now you get to be my heating pad."

"(Y/n)-"

"Heating pads don't talk."

You felt his chuckle more than you heard it, as it rumbled softly in his chest. When you two were settled once more he removed the illusion.

Thankfully, it seemed that the others were none the wiser about what the two of you just did. Chrollo, seeing how tired you were, decided to be merciful and lay along the pillar with you laying on his chest. It was rare for Chrollo to lay down, even when he slept, so you understood the surprised and confused stares from the troop.

You didn't honestly care what they were thinking as you lay across their leader's chest, lounging on one of the most terrifying men in the world. Some would call you crazy for it, but you were desensitized to being in the presence of dangerous people.

~~~~~~~~

You lay across the comfortable couch with your head resting on Illumi's lap as he silently watched you. Illumi being the more emotionally challenged one of your husbands, due to his life-long training as an assassin.

You were trying to take a break from his mother's consistent pestering. She clearly adored you and was thrilled at the idea of you being her daughter in law. To your surprise, Illumi's father was also fond of you. It surprised you because the man rarely ever spoke and you had been halfway convinced he didn't like you in the slightest.

"My dear, I had one more question."

"Mother..."

"Hush, Illumi. I can ask my future daughter in law whatever I want to ask."

"..."

It wasn't hard to tell when Illumi was frustrated- at least for you- but his mother payed the glare no mind. You went to sit up before a firm hand gripped your shoulder, keeping you in place. Illumi's eyes were typically the best way to read his emotions and the look he gave you told you to stay where you were.

With a soft sigh, you settled back down with your head in his lap, letting him gently pet your hair.

"Okay, well, it's a few more questions. But I want to know how you two met?"

"We met-"

"It doesn't matter how we met. She's here now, so that's all that matters."

You wanted to sigh at his dominant behavior, deciding to fully sit up, much to Illumi's frustration. If his parents noticed his hostile behavior towards them, they didn't mention it. He still fought to make you lay back down, but you were done with his bad mood.

"Illumi. Stop."

"..."

"Now."

"... Fine."

He moved his arm, allowing you to sit up, but as you settled next to him he wrapped an arm around you as if to stake a claim. His behavior must be typical for a Zoldyck due to the lack of reaction from his parents.

"We met when he killed me on accident."

"I didn't-"

"So my heart stopping was just me taking a nap?"

"..."

"Apparently I was close to his target and he missed."

"... I didn't-"

"So you meant to hit me?"

"No."

"Then you missed."

"... Yes."

"Is that why you get so upset when asked about it?"

"... No"

"... Are you upset because you technically killed-"

"Stop."

"So, that's a 'yes' then."

You chuckled softly at the clear pout Illumi had on his face. He still refused to talk about that moment when your heart was stopped by the poison he typically used. He even went as far as to switch the toxin he used, apparently despising the poison that killed you.

That day was the same day you met Chrollo and Hisoka.

Chrollo was the one who revived you and Hisoka endlessly bugged Illumi about it. Chrollo was the first to take interest in you, apparently finding your 'energy' fascinating. Hisoka quickly followed suit, loving the way you responded to his teasing. Illumi was technically last to gain interest in you, though he did as well for your fascinating reactions. It was as if he felt the need to protect you like a lion and the lamb kind of story. all of this happened in the span of an hour.

From then on, all three have been rather aggressively pursuing you. Texts, letters, sticky-notes, gifts, showing up in your home, showing up any time you went out, things like that. You then had to deal with their constant attempts to one-up each other and their consistent fighting.

Once the fighting escalated from verbal to physical, you had to step in before they killed each other. It was surprising to you that all three were ready to kill for you and you could tell they weren't going to take 'no' as an answer. The next best was to agree to give all three a chance at having a full relationship with you. It quickly became apparent there would be no breaking up with them and if you chose one the other two would kill him.

This is how you wound up having three fiancés.

You had Illumi break the news to his parents about being engaged and about the fact he was one of three. They apparently took it rather well and you were stunned when Kikyo complimented you for getting the full attention of the three dangerous men you were currently engaged to. Silva never said a word about it and Illumi never told you how his father had responded to the news.

"Illumi! How could you have missed your target with all of the training you've done?"

"Drop it."

"Were you just distracted by (y/n) when you met her and that's why you missed?"

"Stop."

You could tell Kikyo's chiding was beginning to get to Illumi, watching his eyes burn with anger and some other emotion as his arm tightened around you. You knew how quickly Illumi could snap when he was in such a mood so you tried to cut the conversation off before it got to that point.

"You said you had other questions?"

"Hm? Oh, right. What last name do you plan on taking? I know there's Illumi's, but what of the other two?"

It was a damn good question. You had no idea what last name to take once you were wed as there were the last names of your three husbands and you own last name. So you had the choice of any of the four options, but you knew if you chose just one it would displease your other husbands.

"Probably all of them. Just hyphen the names together as my legal name with my maiden name first so there are less documents to deal with. I can just switch off which name is most beneficial for me depending on the situation."

"... Silva, she's perfect."

You couldn't help but chuckle at the kind words, knowing that you at least had the approval of Illumi's parents. Illumi was still holding you close to him, clearly done with this nonsensical questioning. Illumi wasn't the easiest to rile up, but his temper would always break when Hisoka or Chrollo were mentioned during 'his turn' of keeping you with him.

You also knew that Illumi had one hell of a dominance kink that played into how possessive he was of you, only fueling his aggression towards your other fiancés. You hoped his mother would stop asking questions, for your sake, due to the fact Illumi became very forceful when angered. He was already rough, given just how intensely strong he was, so you would rather not add anger into the mix.

"Which of them do you care for the most-?"

"That's enough. This conversation is over."

Illumi sharply stood and picked you up in his arms a bit too tightly, carrying you away from his mother's prying. You felt a stir of fear in your chest at how angry Illumi was, knowing what usually resulted from it. Illumi wasn't the kind of guy who took 'no' as an answer and you knew it.

Doesn't mean you wouldn't try though.

He easily made it to his room, closing the door behind him and pinning you to the bed. Illumi could only burn off his frustration and anger in two ways. First; killing whoever made him angry. Second; fucking you roughly into the nearest surface. Since the first wasn't an option as he wouldn't kill a family member, that only left the second option.

"Wa-wait, Illumi-!"

"No."

Your following plead was silenced by the rough and almost painful kiss, trying to struggle in his grip. He was already to the point that his eyes were becoming glazed and he was becoming lost to the feeling of your skin. He wasn't one to feel much of anything, but there was an addictive quality to you that he desperately wanted to overdose on.

Everything would fade away into the background and out of his mind so long as you were pressed up against him. He wasn't typically the kind to let himself get lost in an emotion. He was always rather cold and calculating, but the simple bliss of turning that logical mind off for once and riding an emotion high... Intoxicating.

"Illumi- Illumi, stop! You- you're being too rough!"

He didn't respond, trying to keep his lips locked with yours for as long as he could, ripping at your clothes. Typically, Illumi knew his strength and kept it in check to not hurt you, but when he was angered he would lose himself in the taste of your lips and sound of your voice. It wasn't very often it happened, as he had rather consistent control over himself, though there were times like these that you knew he wouldn't stop.

It didn't matter to him if he hurt you or you didn't want him at that moment, it was what he needed and so he would take it. He would worry about the rest later, when his primal desires were satiated and he had worked out enough energy. Usually, after coming back to himself and realizing his behavior he would apologize and would cuddle you for however long you wished. He would treat you like fragile glass unless you say otherwise.

That was hard to do as an assassin who had been trained to ignore everything beyond his orders and family. He always has such little control when it comes to you. Having no prior experience to indulging in his desires, just a small slip of control would spiral down into needing to partake in his only vice, you.

He ripped his own clothes off along with yours, leaving every part of the two of you exposed. There was a low growl of pleasure rumbling in the back of his throat, slowly growing louder.

He ducked his head down, catching one of your pert nipples in his mouth and putting his hands under your back, forcing you to arch up into his touch. You squirmed in his grip, winded by his sudden and aggressive behavior paired with his almost desperate need to have you. He licked and bit at your soft skin, letting his mouth trail over whatever exposed flesh he could get to.

He almost seemed frantic, as if he were worried you would somehow be gone in a few seconds and he was trying to get in every touch he could. He was practically panting like an animal during a rut, grinding his hips against yours wildly.

It didn't take long for him to bury himself into you, his eyes rolling back in pure euphoria. He rapidly began thrusting into you, the force of his wildly bucking hips moving you up and down the bed.

"Mine... You're mine! I won't let you get away from me, you can never leave me."

"Ah-! Illumi ple-please you're being too rough with- with me!"

"I'll break you for me. So those two don't get to have you ever again."

Your body spasmed and twitched helplessly beneath him, your body slowly blocking out the pain with mind numbing pleasure. He bashed the head of his cock into your tight cervix until it gave way, wrapping like a vice around his rock-hard length. You wrapped your arms around his neck while hitching your legs over his hips, it was all you could do to hold on.

Pleasure shot into your brain along with the pain you felt, the feelings quickly consuming you. You knew the pleasure was rising up into a fever pitch when his brutal and rapid thrusts began to lose their rhythm. Similarly, you could feel that white-hot coil of ecstasy threatening to break, each violent thrust sending you closer and closer to the abyss.

As soon as the coil within you snaps, you had to press your lips to his in order to stop yourself from screaming loudly enough that the whole house could hear. You felt the growl that tore through his throat more than you heard it, each flooding pulse making him spasm in short, rough thrusts that only continued to over-stimulate your nerves. Once he had gotten every ounce of his cum into you, he slowly withdrew from your tight womb, returning to his senses.

"I apologize. I did not intend to lose control like that. Did I injure you?"

"No more than you usually do... But for my sake, please stop fucking me exclusively in your anger. There's only so much I can take."

"I... Will work on my self-control for you."

He conceded that you were in the right and that he was the one who had messed up in that exchange. He wrapped his arms around you and lay next to you while he gently rubbed your back, apologizing for his wild behavior. You shivered lightly, feeling caged in the arms of a tiger.

He was more animalistic than people gave him credit for. Possessive of his mate, poor social skills at best, silent hunter that never gets caught. He was just a refined animal, a stealthy and lethal predator among clumsy prey. It only took times like this- laying curled up in his arms- to make you realize just how dangerous the men who latched onto you really were.

It hadn't fully set in when you first agreed to date the three of them, but it was never going to be just dating. They were ready to kill one another, like three predators fighting over a mate, though you felt more like prey.

A Serpent, a Fox, and a Spider all fighting over you. What started out as a small competition to win you became an absolute obsession to have you. They only don't kill each other to not fall out of favor with you and it would be inconvenient. This meant a lot of tense moments when the three are together as if they'd just as easily kill one another even though it seemed they were friends at some point.

This meant that only your shared affection for them made them hesitate. You were the cute chubby little hutch bunny surrounded by the wild and aggressive top predators. You could never have known how dangerous they were when you first encountered them. It's one thing to be a criminal, it's another thing entirely to be on top of the criminal world.

The Phantom Troupe was notorious for stealing everything they wanted, no matter what kind of trouble they have to go through. The Zoldycks were the top assassin family that not one person scoffed at the name, both in fear and reverence that no one can stop them. Hisoka was the top of the list for being a well known Sociopath, going after everyone and anyone no matter what that person was to him prior.

You had never known- in your safe little home- what kind of world existed beyond your docile life. The darker side of the world that gentle girls like you could never even dream of. But by gaining their attention you may as well have been thrown in between the three with a leash already secure around your neck.

You were in great danger but you were also one of the safest people on the planet, secure in the arms of the most dangerous people in the world. If anyone was stupid enough to try, not a hair on your head would be touched without extreme ramifications. They may have spats with each other, but they loved and wanted you more. They put away their deadly desires towards each other and continued killing everyone else.

What is more terrifying then one of the top criminals of the world? Three of the top criminals of the world working together towards a common goal. At that point, if they're coming after you with the goal to kill, some divine being must hate you with a passion.

It didn't take long to accept their insane desire for you, deciding you wouldn't be able to escape one without all you know being destroyed, you're triple fucked now. You left your life mostly behind, seeming like one of those foolish girls who runs off with trouble only for their heart to get broken. But it wouldn't get broken and you weren't doing this for you, you were doing it for everyone you cared about.

Sometimes one must be offered up as a sacrifice to keep their world from spilling over into yours. People would die and cower in fear, others will swear hatred against everyone involved, and you would be responsible for it all. Besides, though they terrified you a good bit sometimes, you could still occasionally forget their status and treat them like any fiancé would be.

They're quite amused with letting you seem like you have the dominance, but being the real danger that lurks behind and always makes sure you know who your doms are. The three teamed up just to get you, and now they aren't letting go.

~~~~~~~~

Hisoka was the more... Mentally Unstable... Of the three of your soon-to-be husbands. There were times you worried he would kill you instead of marry you, but that was apparently just part of his charm. He was unpredictable, setting off every danger-bell in your head. A real-life monster who just wanted the burn the world. He was also the one to treat you to whatever you wanted and absolutely wanted to spoil you rotten.

The ends were always worth the means to Hisoka so he smothered you with affection and gave you everything without fuss. Sometimes he felt more like a hot insane carnie-sugar-daddy than you expected given how the other two used such things to manipulate you. It was like an indulgent pet owner who just loved to spoil their little darling with everything.

This also meant he was one hell of a service dom and craved to watch you become delirious with bliss. Seeing you just drowning in pleasure before he would even put his cock in you. It probably didn't help that he was quite the sexual deviant and knew exactly what to do to break you for him. This worship kind of manipulation is what got him going.

He always enjoyed a good fight and they made him just oh so excited, but he would easily settle for a good 'wrestle' session instead. But something lit a fire in the openly sexual being. Something about you drove him mad and he wanted you- the little bunny- to snap your teeth in frustration at him or to open you legs for him. Either way, you were just too fun to give up for any reason. None of them would ever get bored with you and if one was invested, the other were as well.

It was once just a competition against each other, though that quickly became an insane obsession over you. All you did, all you were, everything about you, was what they wanted. That challenge between each other became just an added pride bonus instead of the focus of their game.

No. The real prize was you.

Hisoka would shower you in affection and do whatever it took to make you mewl and moan. If you didn't want to play, he would typically back off and take care of it himself unless he was in a blood lust, in which case he can't stop. In one of his blood lusts, he only had two functions; kill or fuck, so the obvious answer was the second option.

He slowly trailed his lips over your shoulder, massaging your back as you lay face-down on the bed. You could tell he was enjoying the massage as much as you were, if the hardening length on your back was anything to go by. You loved the fact that he could tell you were tired and in need of some general love and affection.

You had been rather tense given the situations you had been in prior to joining Hisoka. Though Hisoka seemed as if he were the most frightening or stressful to be around, but surprisingly he was not. If anything, Hisoka was the one you never had to worry about in your stressful life. You knew he was more of a loner and he was not aggressive towards you as he was others.

His hands were warm and gentle against your poor tense back, paying special attention to the firmer knots. It almost felt like he was smoothing out the deep muscles that had been so tense just moments before, letting you absolutely melt into his touch.

You let out a long moan of pleasure as warmth seemed to spread through your body, feeling relaxation fill your body. A light kiss at your shoulder reminded you of Hisoka being attached to those heavenly hands on your back.

"Mmm~ Look how cute you're being... Just letting all your little moans out."

"A-ah... Hisoka..!"

"Just like that."

You whimpered softly in bliss, feeling shivers run through you as his nails gently scrape over your skin. He used enough pressure to work your muscles but not enough to sink his nails into you. There was little chance you could ever be more comfortable than you were at that moment.

Getting a nice long warm bath that pulled your worries away. Cuddling up in a soft towel and just letting Hisoka brush your hair gently, allowing you to lean into his comfortable touch.

"Falling asleep on me~?"

"Mmm... Kinda..."

"Then I'll just have to wait for you to wake back up."

"You don't have to..."

"Have to..?"

"Wait. I mean... If you wanted to, I would let you..."

A soft chuckle came from his chest, making you look up at him. Hisoka was rather skilled in getting you to beg for him, since he refused to take advantage of you unless you explicitly tell him to. And he was the one out of your three soon-to-be husbands that you always enjoyed having sex with.

He was pleased with any position or location, so long as it is you he's with. Even if you wanted to top, he would be happy as ever to be a switch. So long as he was able to have you melting into cute little moans, he was pleased.

"You asking for me to fuck you even if you fall asleep? Is that what would would like for me to do to you?"

"I wouldn't... Say no."

"Want me that badly~? I'd be happy to do that for you."

"... please?"

"With pleasure."

He gently rolled you onto your back, grinning as he looked down at you, seeing your bright blush. Your soft body was completely on display for him and he gently trailed his fingers over the bruises and marks the other two left behind. That's not to say he doesn't mark you, but he does it more intentionally and with purpose.

"Look how roughly they treated you... Tsk, this won't do at all. Here, let me kiss it better."

He gently ghosted his lips over your neck, pressing soft kisses any time he found a bruise or mark on your body. You mewled and moved your hips slightly as he trailed down, kissing around your breasts and giving a light lick at each peak. It was almost maddening with how slowly he was going, each touch leaving you burning for more.

He ensured to go over every little mark on your body, worshiping your soft skin and loving every mark he found. Sometimes, you were self-conscious about the lightning like scars on your skin, but somehow Hisoka made everything okay. That nervousness didn't really go away with Chrollo or Illumi, even though you know they don't judge you. But there was still a part of you that hated those scars until Hisoka got to them.

He behaved as if you were some delicate renaissance painting that needed to be shown gentle love and affection, even with any marks that may have formed. For how much he loved to mercilessly tease you and poke your last nerve, he was one hell of a considerate lover. If you didn't enjoy it or if it made you feel inferior, he would downright refuse to do it. He would only ever do things you wanted him to do to you, and he got pleasure from giving pleasure to you.

His kinks revolved around the way others reacted to him. Anger and frustration towards him easily get him hard, but blushing and mewling from his actions? Oh, you must be trying to make him cum sounding like that.

Fair to say, he would be rough when you wanted him to be and he would pleasure you endlessly regardless of being gentle or not.

"I think right here needs the most attention."

"Whe-? Ah! Hisoka!"

The moment you had tried to look down your body at him, he began to leave long licks through your folds. His nose pushing at your clit as he sensually dug his tongue into you. You let out moans and cries as you arched your back from the sensation filling your mind.

You wound your fingers through his flame red hair and held on, crying out in bliss from the intense pleasure. You could feel his smirk as he only doubled his efforts, moaning out against you and pressing closer. You couldn't stop the loud moans that ripped from your throat, whimpering from the slick feeling of his skilled tongue.

He move his tongue in thrusting motions, putting your legs up over his shoulders, intentionally trapping himself. He hummed against you and gripped your soft thighs, pressing them against his face.

You could feel that coil of pleasure inside of you winding rapidly from his continued attention, his eyes almost completely rolled back. He was gripping your hips in order to move them against his mouth, wanting you to practically shove his face into your heat. You were panting heavily at this point, gripping onto his hair like a lifeline as the pleasure built.

As if every nerve in your body was buzzing with electricity, your cry was harsh and guttural the moment that pressure broke. You could barely stop your legs from tensing and tightening around his head, holding him securely in place as the pleasure burned through you. Being the kind of person Hisoka is, he ensured to continue thrusting his tongue into you to make your orgasm last longer.

Only when you fell limp on the bed did he finally pull away, licking his lips sensually and licking your slick from your thighs. Say what you will about him, but there was no denying the fact that Hisoka has one hell of a tongue. You let your body relax into the sheets as he moved up, caging your body with his and hovering over you with a grin.

You looked up at his messy red hair and bedroom eyes, feeling a light pressure against your sensitive heat.

"Seems you enjoyed that~ Don't worry, unlike the other two, I know how to please you until your delirious."

"..."

"Do you still want me to fuck you to sleep?"

"... Yes."

"Good."

He let you dig your nails into his shoulder as he slowly slid into you, letting out deep moans from the pleasure and pain. It was around this time that he usually began to lose his grip on his self control, but he still maintained a slow and steady tempo. He was watching your cute little expressions each time he sunk into you, loving the way your glassy eyes stared up at him.

He maintained the slow pace, only speeding up when you began to doze off, bringing you straight back to consciousness. The slow building pleasure seemed to be consuming all reasonable thought in you, letting you drown in the feeling. You could feel the heavy pulse of his heartbeat deep within you from his cock, feeling every rivet and point he pressed up against.

You couldn't stop the whimpers of pleasure and the shaking of your soft body as he continued to thrust into your warm insides. He was beginning to lose his self-control, his hands tightening on your hips and his thrusts gradually gaining speed. Again you felt that coil of pleasure winding tightly inside of you and you couldn't stop your moans that grew louder and louder.

"Are you gonna cum for me? Let your tight little pussy milk my cock..."

"Mmm... Hisoka..!"

"I'm right here. Sink your nails in and feel that I'm here with you~"

You did exactly that, feeling a light trail of blood from where you dug your nails into his toned body. His thrusts were firm enough to move you up and down on the bed, your eyes rolling back. Something was different about your building orgasm that made your toes curl and your spine tense. The pleasure running through your body was all consuming, making your cry harsh and loud as the coil within you snaps.

You were faintly aware of his continued thrusts as your body jerked and twitched helplessly beneath him from over-stimulation. Each movement practically tearing through you like individual orgasms in their own right. When he finally reached his orgasm, you were drooling and delirious.

Your muscles continuing to pump and squeeze his cock as you attempt to calm down, feeling every heavy spurt of cum painting your insides. When you finally went limp, Hisoka was grinning widely down at you. Oh, how fucking cute you are, making such sinful faces and noises just for him.

Well... Him and two others. Much as he wanted to slaughter them and claim you as his prize, he knew it would upset you and push you away from him. That was just something he couldn't allow.

So for now he just grinned down at you, watching you slip into sleep from sheer exhaustion, still clamped down on his deeply seated cock. He was happy to sleep now and take advantage of another round later, knowing that you came back to him time and time again. He would be the best lover you will ever know.

Who knows? Maybe he'll even win you fully with his continued attention. Maybe.

Not likely.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 01 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

Next part (02)->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Lemonade

Ignoring the meaningless chattering, you drink what's left of your water, then put the glass against your neck, hoping the cold will help with the hot weather. Summers in California are always this hot, and since you're under the sun, it doesn't help. Some of your friends, or better saying, the family friends, the people you grew up with, are here again, using your pool as if it was some kind of club they can attend. Standing on this badly shaped circle, you pretend to listen as Ryan goes on about some mansion he helped his father sell this weekend. He's excited, gesticulating a lot, and the others seem to be quite interested too. But not you. Honestly, you couldn't care less.

Through the corner of your eye, you see someone moving on the other side of the huge pool, behind some trees. Turning your head to see it better, you easily recognize the new pool guy, Billy Hargrove. He's been working here for only a couple of months, coming a few times a week to clean the pool or to fix something. You always pay attention to the staff, because nobody else does. You like to know them since they're working at your house after all, and that made you befriend a lot of them throughout the years. But Billy? You haven't even crossed paths with him yet. On purpose.

Billy is by far the most handsome guy you ever met, and you just don't think you can say anything to his face. He probably thinks you're one of the silly, rich chicks he meets on his job, and for some reason, it bothers you.

“(Y/N).” Ryan snaps his fingers on your face, dragging you out of your thoughts. “Are you in there? Aren't you listening?”

“Yup. Sorry, I tuned out for a minute.” Politely, you apologize. “What were you saying?”

“The gala. Who are you going with?”

“Uhm... Not sure yet.” Playing with the empty glass, you move your weight from one leg to the other. “I don't have any good options.”

“What?” Gisele exclaims, giggling. “Robert wants to go with you. Daniel would easily ditch his date for you. And Michael–”

“Don't wanna go with neither of them.” Cutting her off, you decide to just say it. Robert is the most hateful person you ever met. Daniel has been chasing after you for years, it doesn't matter how hard you try to make him understand you don't like him, and every girl he dates, he does it to try and make you jealous. And Michael is a manipulative jerk. All three members of the most prestigious families of California, and desired bachelors. And yet, you can't stand them.

“Who are you going with then? The pool guy?” Gisele gestures at something across the pool, and you know at who.

“Maybe. I bet he's way better than Michael, Daniel, or Robert.” This makes all the five of them laugh, in a very mocking tone. But you mean it. “I might go by myself. Who cares?”

“Are you crazy? Your parents will care, and people will talk, you know that.” Ryan rolls his eyes, lightly slapping his friend's arm. “C'mon, Antony, let's find (Y/N) a fourth option.” The two guys smirk and walk away, and you don't even bother to ask what they're up to. You don't care.

“For real now, (Y/N),” Alice says, running her fingers through her hair. “Gisele is right. The three guys are so into you, and Robert...” She chuckles, exchanging a glance with Gisele. “He's hot. He's... So damn hot.”

“Why don't you go with him then?” You ask her, taking a deep breath and already thinking of an excuse to get away from this conversation and back into the secrecy of your bedroom.

“Because I'm dating.” She answers as if it was the most obvious thing. As if she didn't have a different boyfriend every month. “James Whayland. The one and only, heir to the Whayland fortune? Do you happen to know him?” A rhetoric question, of course. Everyone knows who the Whayland are. “I'm so gonna marry him.”

“You must,” Gisele adds. “You'd be like, stupidly rich.”

And they go on with that, a conversation you don't even try to follow. A lot of girls do that, getting married to join the fortunes and shove more money into their pockets. Your mother herself did it, and she tries to push you into doing the same, pointing out the richest bachelors of California. But you'd never do that. You rather never get married than getting married without love. It's so obvious, yet, if you bring that up, it always becomes an argument. ‘Love comes with time’, she says. ‘Once you're provided financial stability, you'll learn to love the provider.’ None of that sounds appealing to you. You're hoping to fall in love one day. It hasn't happened yet, but you'll patiently wait.

“Hey, Earth to (Y/N).” Ryan raises his voice, and, a little annoyed, you look up at him.

“What?”

“You're welcome.” He says with a wicked smile.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you tilt your head to the side. “For what, Ryan?”

“For getting you the best date ever for the gala, sweetie.” He and Antony laugh, and soon enough the others follow. “The pool guy is taking you to a high society party. How amazing is that?”

It takes a while for you to even process what he's saying, but his mean tone makes you angry. He thinks he's superior to anyone who doesn't have a collection of fancy cars in their garage. “First of all, Ryan, the pool guy has a name, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. You're always close to the staff.” He emphasizes the last word, making a disgusted face.

“Second...” What? Second what? You know you can't go with Billy. That would get people talking. But then, the other options make you sick to even consider them. And honestly, you couldn't care less about what people say. It'll probably get you a hell of a lecture from your parents, a few weeks of gossips and mean comments, but that's it. Soon enough someone else will become the hottest topic. “You know what, forget it.” Putting the empty glass on the table, you walk away, ignoring how they call you, telling you not to be silly.

Maybe the guys are joking. Maybe they're just pulling a prank on you, but there's no problem with finding that out. Walking around the pool and into the garden, you walk around the supply closet, following the low noise of something being put into the metal shelves. The supply closet is open, so you patiently wait on the outside, barefoot on the grass as you move to stand to bellow a tree. Bouncing your leg, you look around, breathing deeply and trying to understand why the hell you decided to face Billy now. He's the only guy who works here you're making sure not to have any contact with.

“Good afternoon.” The voice startles you, and you immediately turn to face him. Billy is closing the closet door shut, eyes focused on you. And yes, he's far more gorgeous from up close. “May I help you, Miss–”

“(Y/N).” You cut him off, cursing yourself for doing so. “You may call me (Y/N).”

He simply nods, walking closer and stopping on a shadow spot too. “Do you need anything from me?”

“Uhm...” For a moment, you gotta think a little to remember what brought you here. “I just wanted to ask if maybe some two jerks came to talk to you... About a party... And... Taking a girl to this party...” Playing with your fingers, you wonder if he already thinks you're a total idiot.

“Yes. They said you needed a date for some gala.” Billy crosses his arms, not looking away from you. “If you need it, I can take you.”

Oh. Would he really do that? “Uhm... Look, Ryan and Antony meant it as a joke.” You gotta be honest, even if it means he'll give up the idea. “I mean, not for me, they're just... They're jerks. And they...” Holy crap. You have to get your shit together. “They thought it would be funny to make you think you could take me to this gala.” Taking a deep breath, you push the words out. “But... I would like it if you could because all my options suck. It's either Michael or Robert or Daniel, and you probably know they're all fighting for the award of the worst person on the face of Earth.”

“It might be really hard to make this decision. Might as well split the award in three.” He speaks up and you giggle. The staff don't usually speak like that about the families they work for. But Billy doesn't seem to care and you like that.

“Yeah. So... I know people will gossip about it but I'd be forever grateful if you could do me this kindness.” You're blushing now, biting your lip. “Because I know it's not your job or anything but I could pay you if you want.”

“There's no need.” Billy shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders. “It's a party, right? It will be fun.”

“Oh... About that...” Calling such events ‘parties’ is a misunderstanding. Almost a crime. “These things... Suck. It's super dull, full of rich people donating, trying to donate more them someone else just so they'll show off how rich they really are... You'll absolutely hate it. I do.” Gesturing at yourself, you give him an apologetic look. “I'd owe you for life if you help me get through it without having to put up with any of those assholes.”

Billy nods, looking down before his eyes meet yours again. “I believe I'll have to wear one of those suits right?”

“Well, I'll be in some uncomfortable dress, so we'll both be unhappy about our clothes.” Your mind goes to the lilac dress your mother made you buy, extremely expensive.

“Alright then. It's on Sunday, right?” You nod. “Should I pick you up?”

“Yes. At seven.” He gives a small nod before gesturing at the garden. “I gotta go now.”

“Sure...” Billy waves before walking away, and you stand there, wondering if you should go back to your so-called friends. You're sure Ryan will have that stupid smile on, eager to know what you and Billy have spoken about. And you won't tell anything, but you also don't want to deal with that shit right now, or else you might tell right to their faces how much of a jerk they are. So you decide to follow Billy through the garden, easily finding him by a particular big tree. He's opening a leaf tarp on a clean space on the grass before taking a fan rake. “This tree is dying.” You say, getting his attention. Billy turns around, furrowing his eyebrows. “That's why there are so many fallen leaves. See how some of them seem healthy, normal green leaves? It only happens when the tree is dying.”

“Then you should have someone cut it down before someone gets hurt.” He says, looking a little confused. “Shouldn't you go back to your friends?”

“Yeah, I probably should.” You're tired of all the things you should do, so for today, you won't do them. As silly as it may be. “Do you need some help?” You ask, stepping forward a little.

“No, I'm alright.” It sounds like a question, and you blush from the way he stares at you, for several seconds, before focusing on his task, raking the leaves to the tarp.

“Ok.” Whispering, you move to sit on a wooden table, one of the many you have scattered around the property. You try not to look at Billy too much, noticing how weird it feels to do this. You barely know the guy, he'll be your date for a gala, and now you're awkwardly seated here, watching as he works. Well, it is better than whatever your friends must be talking about now. “So... What exactly do you work with?” You ask, hoping to get any kind of conversation going. “I thought you just took care of the pool.”

“I work for a company. BJ's Associates.” Billy starts, and you take this chance to look at him. Despite the distance, you can see the sweat glistening on his forehead. “They send me to any place I'm needed. Some of them are scheduled weekly, others are random. And–” He makes a pause suddenly, giving you a look. “Are you bored yet?”

“No.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle. “I actually wanna know.”

He turns his head to look at the pool, which is a little distant now. Maybe he thinks this is some kind of move, and you wouldn't blame him, judging by the way the guys probably came to talk to him. “That's it. I clean pools, fix cars, might paint walls or something, clean gardens... The list goes on.”

“You know how to fix a car?” Raising an eyebrow, you move to seat on the table, placing both your feet on the wooden bench. “My car is making this weird noise and I'm sure it's not some normal noise.”

“How does it sounds like?”

“Like a clunking, I think... every time I hit the breaks, even when it's softly.”

“It could be some damage to the brake caliper.” He's quick to answer, and you raise your eyebrows, impressed. “Or it's badly mounted.”

“Damn, you're good.” You exclaim, giggling at his funny face.

“I just–”

“(Y/N)!” Amelia's voice reaches you, and Billy stops talking, resuming his job. “I've been looking for you.” The old lady, with her gray hair tied up on a perfect, sophisticated bun, comes to the table you're at, a tray with a jar and six glasses on her hands.

“I've been here chatting with Billy.” You tell as she lays the tray down. “And no, I won't go back to the pool.”

“They're talking about James Whayland.” She starts, rolling her eyes. Amelia is the only one in this house, well, the only one you know who understands you. “Alice Martin was talking about marrying him...?”

“Yup.” A stronger wind messes with your hair, so you use a hand to keep it away from your face. “Something about joining their fortunes and being the king and queen of California. Some shit like that.”

“Poor Alice.” Amelia breathes out, taking a glass and pouring some lemonade on it before handing it over to you. “That Whayland kid is not the nicest guy on Earth.”

“Poor James!” You giggle, putting your glass down and serving her some lemonade too. She doesn't like when you do that, since she's here to serve you. Amelia, the woman who raised you is here for nothing else than to serve you. So unbelievable it almost makes you laugh. “Alice isn't nice either. She can be very manipulative to get what she wants.”

“Don't I know?” She mutters. “Well, I must go. Serve this to your friends.”

“No, no, no. Take your glass and leave the rest. If someone complains tell them I'll drink the whole jar.” Taking the tray from her hands, you place it down on the table again.

“Alright, Miss–”

“(Y/N). Honey. Bunny. Anything, but not this formal stuff, ok?” You correct her, and Amelia gives you a bright smile.

“Alright, (Y/N).” She repeats before turning around and walking away, cordially greeting Billy.

Taking a sip from your glass, you smile to notice Amelia's lemonade is as good as always. A little too sour for your parents taste, but you like it better this way. Your attention goes back to Billy, still dealing with the fallen leaves, despite being almost done. If you ask, he might say no, so you just pour another glass before jumping to the ground, making your way over him. “Here.” Raising your voice, you get his attention. And once again he has this confused expression on his face when he sees the glass. “Lemonade. It's hella hot out here and this might help.”

“Thanks.” Squinting his eyes a little, he takes the glass from your hand, taking long sips, drinking almost everything.

“Sorry if it's a little too sour. I don't like much sugar on it and Amelia knows so...” When he's done, he gives you back the glass. “Why are you looking at me like that? I swear I'm not a ghost.”

“That's not it. I'm just not used to being treated like that by the owners.” Billy's voice gets a little darker, and he pronounces the last word with certain anger. But you can imagine exactly why. Most of the people you know aren't very fond of their employees. They're just the people they pay off to do what they can't do by themselves.

“I know how some of the families can be mean.” Drumming your fingers on the empty glass, you stand there, staring at Billy, just now noticing the deep, beautiful shade of blue from his eyes. Involuntary, you breathe out, smiling.

“What?”

“Nothing!” You burst out, clearing your throat and finding your legs again, making the way back at the table. “I–”

“(Y/N)!” A shout startles you, and when you turn at the source of the voice, you see it's Gisele. “Get back here! You won't guess who just got here.”

“If it isn't Michael Jackson ready to perform Beat It, I'll be disappointed.” You mutter, only loud enough for Billy to hear it as you walk back to the pool.

“Call me if it's him,” Billy says and you giggle, giving him one last look.

It's not Michael. Well, it is, but not Jackson, just Michael Rothford. He stands by the pool, where everyone gathers around him. Trying not to look pissed, you move closer, offering a polite, fake smile. “Good afternoon, Mike. How have you been?”

“I'm way better now.” He answers, and you try to ignore how everyone moves a little, giving you more space to move closer to Michael. He takes your hand, giving it a shake, and awkwardly squeezing it softly. “I'm here to ask, once again, for you to let me take you to Sunday's gala.”

The two idiots, Antony and Ryan start giggling, and you know exactly why. “Sorry, Mike, I can't.” Pulling your hand away, you cross your arms. “I already have someone, so...” Thank God you have the perfect excuse, and it's not even a lie. You're so damn relieved you won't be forced to attend to such a boring event with someone like Michael.

“Who?” He snaps, suddenly pissed. “Daniel is going with that Angela chick. Robert, you can't stand. Andrew isn't in the country, Willian–”

“You don't know him, alright?” Cutting him off, you sigh.

“Oh, shit,” Ryan mutters, and you give him a look. He has a hand covering his mouth, trying to control a laugh. “You're really going to the gala with the pool guy.” Antony burst into laughter, and the others try to control themselves not to.

“You rather go with the staff than with me?” Michael sounds offended as if he was punched in the face. “Are you kidding me, (Y/N)?”

Quickly, you try to think of something to say. You can't say the truth, that he's a hateful human being you can't stand being next to. But nothing comes to your mind. “No, I'm not. I... Actually wanna go with Billy.”

“Honestly, (Y/N), screw you.” He barks, and before you can answer, he grabs both your shoulders and pushes you straight into the water.

Everything happens way too fast for you to process, so there was no way you could tell him you absolutely can't swim. So the moment you hit the water, you just sink, your body moving to the bottom, way too far from the surface. You do try moving your legs a bit, uselessly. But you're suddenly pulled, strong arms moving you through the water until you finally reach the surface, gasping for air. Breathing fast, the terror finally starts kicking in, and you push yourself up, stumbling a little, ignoring all the hands that offer help. Once you're out of the water, seated on the edge, you finally see who saved you, Billy, also pushing himself up, only with a lot more grace than you. You exchange a glance, and his hand is the one you take, pulling yourself back to your feet.

“You can't swim?” You hear Michael's voice, a curse caught in your throat. “I never met a Californian who can't swim.”

Not minding the small crowd around, you make you walk to Michael, losing no time before slapping him right on the face, the loud noise of your wet hand colliding to his cheek startling some of your friends. “Asshole!” You yell before storming away, embarrassed, still struggling to catch your breath, feeling cold thanks to your soaked clothes.

“Hey.” Someone calls, but you ignore them, walking fast into the house. “(Y/N).” Your arm being grabbed makes you stop walking and turn around, ready to make hell rain on whoever it is, but your fury melts away when you see Billy. “Are you ok?”

Taking a deep breath, you relax a little, nodding. “Yeah, I just... Got scared.” He lets go of your arm, but you don't step away, looking into his blue, calming eyes. “Thank you, though. You saved my life.”

“Can't believe he threw you at the water like that.”

“See why I need you to take me to that stupid party?” Crossing your arms, you pace around. “I can't even begin to imagine how it'd be to spend the night with that prick.” Looking down, you notice how you and Billy are dripping, soaking the white floor. “I gotta go change, and you should... I don't know. At least you got to enjoy the pool for a while.”

“I'd rather enjoy it when you're not drowning.”

“Yeah, that would be better.” Shyly smiling, you give a step backwards. “I gotta go... But thanks again.” Stopping in your tracks, you decide to be just a little brave. Stepping closer, you tiptoe to place a quick kiss on Billy's cheek, before turning around and rushing upstairs to your bedroom.

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