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Chapter 2 of Blurr storyline >:D
“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”
“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head is all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”
Part one
Holy shit I actually managed to finish it…..Oh. My god.
Under the cut⤵️
Is it stupid to miss someone who doesn't even exist?
Probably yes, but hey, Swerve already has several degrees, might as well get another one. A degree in Stupidity or something. Who cares?
For the first few days after waking up from his coma, he feels like he's going crazy. Everybody has realistic dreams, right? The ones where you can scrutinize every angle, memorize every face and smell and sound. The ones that make you lie still for a while after waking up, grasping at every thing you can. Trying to memorize everyone you meet, imprint them in your head.
Because apart from your mind, they don't exist anywhere else. So that's your only way to keep them.
It never works. Obviously. Details slip away. Impressions fade. Just a couple days, and you won't be able to recall anything but the main events from memory.
Wait, hell, not days. Cycles.
His life is a weird, pathetic, fantastical circus. Earth term. Heh. There are no circuses on Cybertron, haha!
But Swerve remembers. And the word circus, and the smell of asphalt, and rains that were made of water not acid. Remembers the English language. Can speak it fluently, even if you wake him up in the middle of the night.
Remembers his work schedule and remembers which company makes the best details. And Tailgate with his bright blue uniform and Wheeljack with his endless experiments and Swindle with his expensive coat and of course...yeah, no, don't think of Blurr, don't think of Blurr, don't. Don't.
He'd heard about it. Read about it, too. Mechs waking up from comas and doing wild things. Some forgot how to speak at all, some gained a new skill, some lived a whole life while they slept.
Articles tell Swerve, don't worry, what you've experienced isn't unique. The doctor tells Swerve that the same thing has happened to others before you, it will be okay, it will pass.
Swerve isn't sure he wants it to pass.
He's been in a coma for who knows how long. The medic said it was caused by an internal trauma that decided to suddenly get worse. One minute he's recharging , the next he's gone. Internal injuries are insidious.
So it turns out. One day he just disappeared from the world because he was busy slowly dying in his room and no one noticed until a thief tried to sneak in. The only one who came to him was a Mech who wanted to steal his stuff. Huh.
That feels revolting. Swerve liked to think he had enough friends. Or at least enough good connections. Enough those who should have noticed his absence, right?
Apparently not. His shifts at work were reassigned, his contacts never texted him first, his...
His small persona wasn't important enough for anyone to notice his disappearance.
Would his human coworkers notice? Would Tailgate have noticed? Or Jazz? Swindle?
Jazz would have noticed, he was always surprisingly attentive when it came to his friends. And he was friends with just about everybody.
Swindle would probably get upset about the money he'd lost.
It's amazing how much his brain-- wait, no, his processor. How much his processor could create to entertain him. It's a more elaborate world than the most complex series Swerve has ever known. And that scrap had forty-six seasons and fifteen encyclopedias!
People, Earth, a bunch of new languages and rules and all for the sake of the end being like, OOPS! ...it was all a dream. Hilarious. Worst plot twist ever. Swerve hates it when stories go in this direction even more than when they kill off their characters.
In his humble opinion, death is better than the revelation that none of the experiences made sense or had any value. In terms of writing scripts obviously. Haha.
He's busy roaming haphazardly through his own memory. He's looking, comparing, trying to find inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. All the stuff that usually gives away the fact that what happened was a dream.
Most of his memories are occupied by--No. Frag.
Don't think about Blurr, don't think about Blurr, don't think..
He's thinking about Blurr. A lot.
Blurr occupies a surprisingly important role in his comatose dreams.
In the time he spent just looking at him, you could hand-build an entire Mech. Maybe even three. Swerve remembers picking up every bit of merch he could reach with his paycheck. Watching hundreds of videos and buying every new themed drink even if it was a flavor he didn't like.
Then spent a surprising amount of time resenting Blurr for not living up to his fantasies.
Blurr's behavior hadn't helped either, of course, but now, looking back at the past himself Swerve thinks that.. Oh wow. You weren't just annoyed at him. You blamed him for ruining your beautiful fantasy. You were having so much fun entertaining yourself with thoughts of this marvelous image, and he came along and corrupted it. Poisoned the well you drank joy from.
But that's not quite true, Swerve thinks.
Blurr was more complicated than that. But exactly how, he'll never know. All he has are his memories, and those memories are cut short at the most interesting point.
Swerve knows this plot twist. The asshole character that no one loves at the last second turns out to not be what everyone thought, but it's too late.
Oh no, he's not an evil jerk, he's actually traumatized. Oh no, he wasn't bad, he was actually secretly helping everyone. You thought he was awful? Well now you're going to feel awful reading fanfics.
Serevus Spayne didn't actually betray the main character's dad, no no, he was in love with him! Bam. Drama.
Swerve isn't a big fan of this stuff. He likes his characters developed properly. But he can't deny the appeal of a character leaving behind a bunch of questions you thought you knew the answer to.
Uggh.
The doctor was wrong. These thoughts don't go away. These memories don't dull.
Swerve just boils in them, constantly getting stuck in his own head. Sometimes he puts English words into his speech and everyone looks at him strangely. Sometimes he reflexively says some inside joke and no one gets it and he's left standing there with an awkward smile. Because. Guys, you don't understand, if my coworkers were here they'd think it's hilarious. I promise, in my fantasy world, it's funny.
When he gets a job on one of the Autobot ships, he accepts it thinking it might be a good distraction from his thoughts.
When he happens to see Prowl with a tiny human on his shoulder in the corridor of that ship, he thinks he's lost his mind.
The whole thing. The whole load-bearing structure on which his picture of the world has been held suddenly gives a lurch. Living your life in a super realistic dream is wild, but meeting a character from your dream in real life??
Freaking cursed.
Jazz looks puzzled by his reaction, but all Swerve can think about are two things.
One, if Jazz is here, does that mean everything else was real, too???
Two - holy shit, Jazz is tiny.
It never occurred to him. But he didn't really know what size humans were. Well, sure, he could measure it in numbers. But he was among humans himself. And about the same size. He was generally even shorter than most of them.
If Jazz is so small, he can't imagine how tiny Tailgate would be. Or--
He can feel his spark freeze. In fact, he can almost hear the sound of a string breaking in his processor. Does that mean Blurr is real too? Real and just as tiny and currently dead? Because Swerve was there but was too convinced it was all just a dream to help?
He's going to get sick.
He needs to talk to Jazz right now.
____________
Swerve taps his fingers nervously on the countertop. Come on. You're good at talking. Talking is your greatest skill. All you have to do is tell someone else about your comatose hallucinations and hope they don't think you're crazy.
They're sitting at a table at the bar. More specifically Swerve and Prowl are sitting at the table, and Jazz is sitting right on the table. (God he's so small).
“So uh. I got injured a while back and...uh...well, it got worse, turned out important systems were affected and I kind of. I was in a coma. For a really long time.”
Jazz frowns
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
He speaks in a mildly wonky Common, Swerve notes to himself. He waves his servo a little too cheerfully in response.
“'Ay it's no big deal really. I saw a whole other world while I was asleep and like. See, I thought it was just my fantasies, but it seemed very real and...”
Swerve mentally crosses his fingers.
“And it was about this planet called Earth and about people who were building their own inanimate huge robots to fight huge aliens and their boss wanted to launch Mechs into space, so he picked the best of the pilots named Jazz and sent him on this test mission and...”
Jazz looks at him with huge eyes before switching to English in surprise.
“Mech, what the hell?”
“...And we lost him...” finishes Swerve with a sad smile.
Before thinking for a bit, and adding.
“I'm going to show you a trick I can do.”
And then projects his holoform onto the table in front of him.
This. It's weird. Not in a way that would tilt it in the direction of unnatural. More like walking around in his comfy indoor pajamas right in the middle of the street. Being human is familiar to him, but being human amongst huge Cybertronians? Strange. And a little creepy.
Prowl looks confused.
Jazz looks absolutely frantic.
“SWERVE????”
Swerve doesn't even manage to respond, only to smile in relief before Jazz rakes him into his arms. In his holoform, Jazz feels right again. He's taller than Swerve and oh boy, he's alive and unharmed. To think everyone thought he was dead, staying up nights trying to find what was left of him, and he was on the other side of the universe the whole time?
Swerve chuckles into Jazz's shoulder. Then picks him up and spins him around a couple times just because he needs something to get his energy out. Man, it's nice to hug people. Warm and soft, eight out of ten.
Jazz pulls away but still stays standing very close. Swerve can literally see the happy stars in his eyes.
“Dude, I'm not complaining but what...how???? You just kinda..."
Swerve laughs and twitches his eyebrows playfully.
“I still speak English, you don't have to torture yourself with Common.”
“Oh thank fuck.” Jazz throws his hands up dramatically “you're my favorite person right now.”
There is a polite click of the vocalizer resetting above their heads.
“I” Prowl says “very glad you two are happy but I'd like some explanation”
Swerve presses his head into his shoulders guiltily. Prowl has the unique ability to always sound like you've done something wrong in front of him.
Although Jazz doesn't seem to feel the same way?
“Short version - I sleepwalked my holoform to another planet.”
He pauses dramatically.
“The long version is...”
Jazz raises his hand
“What's a holoform?”
Swerve sighs.
“It's a holographic avatar that I can project using a holomatter generator. Sort of like a remote controlled game character.”
Jazz whistles impressed. And then immediately turns back to Prowl
“Have you been able to do that all this time too?“
Prowl hums
“I can create an avatar, but it takes a lot of practice to make it at least believable. And to fully perceive the world through it takes even more. It's a whole new technology. What Swerve does is essentially an art form. Sophisticated and impressively detailed may I add.”
Swerve shrugs shyly. He's still using the holoform to stand on the table next to Jazz. Looking up to speak to Prowl isn't exactly comfortable, but Jazz definitely looks like he's been missing the human presence. Swerve isn't human, but he might as well be.
“Thank you. Yes! Uh. Anyway, it seems while I was in a coma my processor projected my avatar onto Earth and I...let's just say I lived there for a while.”
Jazz laughs
“Dude. So you're telling me you were basically sleepwalking the whole time?”
“ I was.”
Prowl frowns.
“But the range limit of the holomatter generator is only four hundred miles...”
“.... I had a lot of practice...”
Jazz claps his hands.
“You learned a whole other language! Got an ID!. You had a job!!!”
“I got carried away,” Swerve admits.
Jazz scratches the back of his head, still looking very amused
“How many degrees did you get? Haha wait no, I have a better question, did you pass your driver's license?”
“Two. And I failed my driver's exam.”
“Dude you are literally a car without a driver's license!” collapses Jazz on the table with laughter.
Swerve blows the hair out of his face
“Says you who retook the physical several times. You couldn't pass the "being human" exam.”
Jazz just wheezes incoherently in response. Prowl looks alarmed.
“Don't worry, that's him getting excited. So...where have I been...”
Swerve nervously shoves his hands into his pockets
“...Do either of you two know where Earth is?”
Prowl twitches his door wings
“No. Since Jazz was teleported we don't have much clues.”
Swerve grimaces. Scrap. Of course nothing's going to be that easy. He's also been, like,....teleported.
He stands there for a couple minutes and just feels fifteen different emotions rise up in his head at once. A crooked, unsteady smile creeps across his face.
He's thinking.
Oh hell, yeah! I knew it wasn't a dream!
Then he remembers the mess he left behind.
Oh, no, it wasn't a dream.
Jazz puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Swer... Swerve? Dude, are you okay?”
“Ah frag..” Swerve says weakly ”it wasn't a dream.”
Jazz looks...puzzled.
“Is that bad?”
Swerve remembers his friends. Remembers the Mecha program. Remembers fire and smoke and screams and rumbling and crackling flames. Ashes flying through the air and the smell of burnt wires. He remembers blood and debris and...
“It's...complicated.”
This wasn't just a stupid plot twist he'd dreamed up because he'd watched too many shows. This wasn't a hallucination or a disembodied fantasy that just happened to linger in his head. This was real. His friends exist out there somewhere. His work and his collections and his little apartment...
And Blurr. Was real. Or still is? Swerve doesn't know. Blurr wasn't a product of his imagination. He was real and what he did was real and Swerve left him there alone, bleeding and trapped in rubble and tiny and...
Hahahahah oh fUCK.
He doesn't like this plot. It's too much. Too much to handle, too complicated, too ambiguous.
It's also probably too late.
But he can't leave it like this, right? Blurr went into the damn burning building just because of the possibility that there might be someone alive in there.
And Swerve doesn't even have to go through the flames. He has to look. He has to try at least.
Jazz glares at him with a worried look on his face
“ That expression you have...”
Swerve puts the smile back on his face.
“I need to get to Earth.”
___________________
Swerve is not an idiot.
Or maybe more accurately an idiot, but with several degrees.
He's well aware that finding Earth in space with only a description of it is impossible. Which leaves him with two options.
Ask the Quintessons. Or look for it himself.
The first sounds like death. The second like coma. Swerve has exquisite enough taste to know which is better.
He just needs to do some preliminary reserch.....
Jazz, now back inside his Mech looks doubtful.
“You're not going to die suddenly and for no reason, are you?”
Swerve laughs.
“Pfffff what, no of course not, would I kill myself hah. No no, look I'll just put myself in stasis for a bit. Send myself to Earth. And try to figure out where it is from there. Get the coordinates. If I'm lucky, I can see what Space Bridge the local Quintessons use. All you'll have to do is wake me up after a while.”
“It's not harmful?”
Swerve makes an uncertain gesture with his hand...servo.
“If I have enough fuel. And an additional connection to an external generator.”
Jazz tilts his head
“ Why are you so eager to get to Earth? Don't get me wrong, I miss it too and want to go back, but.”
Swerve bites his knuckles.
“ I have some unfinished business?”
“Pshhhh you sound like a ghost.”
Swerve only laughs in response.
_______________
Concentration is tricky.
Swerve tries to think about Earth. And not to think about the fact that he doesn't know where it is. If he's already been there once, he might as well go there again yes? In theory? Perhaps?
Except for the possibility that his sleepwalking just takes him to random planets. That would be very inconvenient. It would be a whole new level of lost
Shit. No. Earth. Think Earth.
What's he even gonna do when he gets there? How far away is it? Swerve is very talented with his holomatter generator, but if it's really far away... maybe he should reset some settings.
He mentally starts going through his options. Does he need tangibility? Probably not. Come to think of it, it would only make him more vulnerable and take a lot of energy. Yeah, the tangibility has to go. What else? Touch, too. Sight and hearing should stay, that's not even a question, but colors and textures are not really necessary.
The amount of detail and picture quality can be reduced as well. His holoform will become colorless and grainy and will probably ripple with static, but he'll survive it.
After he finishes making changes to his holoform he thinks about his old stuff left in his house. Then about the posters. Then reminds himself that he needs to focus on the goal or he'll never find Blurr and...oh FUCK his phone! Where was his phone when he disappeared? Was it found?? There were so many personal things on that phone, he's hoping the phone was burned under the rubble. Either that or the arriving investigators will find his browser history and he'll go into another coma from pure embarrassment.
He blinks dazedly when he realizes he has loads of rocks in front of his eyes. Oh..Did he screw up? Did he end up on the wrong planet? Is it a cave or--
Then he notices the odd shape of the “rocks” and. Oh, no. It's not a cave. It's charred concrete debris.
This is the place where he was last.
He hastily looks around. Anxiety creeps up the back of his neck, makes him feel like something slippery and cold is crawling over his skin. There is nothing but ruins all around.
Blurr is not here. The place where his Mech was lying is empty.
Which means he was at least found and dragged out. Dead or alive.
Swerve's bites his knuckles. Okay.
All right.
He's got things to do.
_______________
He's trying to stay out of sight. Which isn't hard, considering he's just a hologram. At first, he just sneaks around in the quiet areas. Then proceeds to do a facepalm and start teleporting. Think, Swerve. Did you read all those comic books for nothing? Superheroes who couldn't really use their superpowers creatively always annoyed him. And he does, in fact, have a superpower. Gotta get creative, right?
He stops and looks at himself again. His holoform is going static and is a dull white color. He thinks for a bit, and then shrinks himself. Thinks some more, and makes himself almost transparent. There's no way he could pass as a normal human right now, so he'd better just do his best to avoid being seen by anyone.
He looks around thoughtfully. Hmm. Even if he's going to be absolutely tiny, he needs to make sure no one sees him, otherwise the whole base will think the Quintessons are now spying on them through holograms or something.
Breaking the rules feels...it's exciting.
All his ..human life here he hadn't thought about it, but if he threw away the rules he was used to about what people could or couldn't do...
He looks up in a sudden rush of sly genius. All people look under their feet when they walk, but how many look up? And how many of them notice the barely visible tiny holoform hiding just behind the blinding lamps?
The answer is probably none.
Swerve projects himself onto the ceiling and mentally pats himself on the shoulder for his impressive intellectual accomplishments. A creativity degree should definitely be a thing.
A degree in spying on the Quintessons' ships wouldn't hurt him either.
Fortunately sneaking onto their ship turns out not to be that difficult. Swerve makes himself absurdly tiny and hides in the darkest corners that no one would ever think to look into. Why hasn't anyone thought of using holoforms for spying before? Could he be the first to think of it? He doesn't know, but he mentally decides to patent the idea.
Finding the Space Bridge is surprisingly easy. The local Quintesson fleet is clearly used to being the dominant force in space. And that's generally logical. Even if humanity collects a mountain of money from somewhere to throw a dozen Mechs into space - there will be thousands of monsters waiting for them. In such a situation, you don't have to hide, the guards are enough.
Well done, well done, don't hide, Swerve thinks, copying the coordinates and address of the space bridge to himself. You have absolutely nothing to fear here, he thinks, so stay where you are and don't move. Please and thank you.
Once the coordinates are obtained, he... has some freedom to explore. And he uses it for probably the most boring-sounding thing in the world. He returns to his usual workplace.
It’s simple. As damning as the Mecha program was, Swerve loved his job in it. He loved his position in the assembly shop. And he missed his friends.
He quickly teleports through several rooms, continuing to hide close to the lamps. Tailgate is here. Alive and unharmed. Wheeljack is too, though his face has some scars added to it. It's great to see them again, even if he can't talk to them right now. No one will probably react well to a grainy unexplainable hologram. He's just glad to know they're okay and honestly, the last thing he needs is paranoid Onslaught installing extra signal jammers.
It takes time to find Blurr. Partly because Swerve is terrified of what he might find if he started looking. So he goes to check the death lists first, and only after flipping through and re-reading them three times does he finally exhale in relief.
Blurr's name isn't there.
So his smug, shiny ass must be around here somewhere.
He checks the hangar. Flips through the Mech launch logs and feels an uncomfortable knot begin to form in his chest. Blurr's Mech has never been repaired or launched even once since the incident. Its plating has been replaced with new, well polished, and put in a prominent place where anyone who wants to can take a picture of it. But all the internal systems are destroyed. This machine hasn't been used for anything other than being a beautiful exhibit.
That's...something's wrong.
He checks offices and schedules as well as eavesdropping on a few conversations and ends up secretly following Swindle, who is arguing loudly with someone on the phone. He says something about deals and how he doesn't need anyone meddling in his business. Then he talks about how he's got everything under control and the person on the phone is “a dumbass who's making drama out of nothing” and that “he doesn't need anyone's handouts". Then he sighs and says, “you know how celebs are. Dumb and dramatic. You can't take their words literally.”
Then drops the call and for a couple seconds looks like he's just had a large bill taken right out of his hand. Curses again, but in a quieter voice. Leafs through his contacts and stops at the one signed 'free ice'.
“Blurr? Where are you? Wha...ah, no wait. No, the advertising agency called. No, liste...Can you shut up for one second?Where are you?
Uh-huh....... Uh-huh.Okay.
Give me half an hour...okay, yeah.”
This is it, Swerve thinks.
He shrinks himself further and teleports under the collar of Swindle's coat.
He wants to take a look. Just. Just a peek. Make sure everything's all right. Then he can go about his original mission in peace. He watches Swindle get in his car and drive off somewhere. Swerve doesn't recognize this part of town. The houses here are much nicer than where he lived. The streets are cleaner.
He tucks himself further under the coat collar. He's not going to be a stalker or anything, but he's worried and he doesn't have time to wait for Blurr himself to show up for work. Just one little look and that's it.
Swindle's car stops outside a beautiful, shiny hospital. Swerve nervously tries to bite his knuckles, but remembers he's disabled touch in his holoform. Shit? Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shi
Blurr looks like a mangled corpse.
Okay, not really. His left side that faces the door to the hospital room looks like a mangled corpse and that's the first thing that catches Swerve's eye when he's inside.
Blurr is pale and thin and his hands are covered in bandages. The left side of his face has been turned into an absolute ugly nightmare. A piece of his ear is missing. In the place of the left eye is a creepy empty hole.
Suddenly Swerve realizes why Blurr didn't show up for work. You can't even show him to his coworkers like that, not just to the public.
Blurr turns his head and the spell breaks. His lips stretch into a cocky smile.
“'Got bored without me Swindle?”
Swindle doesn't show the slightest emotion at the gruesome sight. He casually pulls a chair over to the hospital bed and sits down.
“Shockwave is trying to sneak a new project into the program. And he's slowly swaying investors to his side, using you as an excuse. Tells everyone you're a poor martyr he can save if only he's given the green light from above.”
Blurr wrinkles his nose.
“Not that he's wrong. The doctors say I need to pick a new career because with this...” he jerks his head to the left implying his damaged half, ” neither racing nor piloting is an option for me anymore. I'm out of your project.”
Then he stops talking for a few seconds and raises an eyebrow curiously.
“You wouldn't have come here in person just to say that. Why are you really here?”
Swindle adjusts his glasses
“Have I ever told you why I made the contract with you?”
“Because you like money” Blurr says without hesitation.
Swindle lets out a quiet chuckle.
“Fair point. But money wasn't my only priority.”
He pauses for a second. Gets up. Draws the curtains in the room. Checks to make sure no one is outside the door.
Goes back to his seat.
“You didn't see what the Mecha project was like before. Brutality and absolute disregard for human rights multiplied by a thousand. People were desperate and no one cared to maintain any decency.”
He raises his hand when Blurr rushes to say something.
“No no, listen to me. If you think things are bad now, you're right. But it used to be much. Much, much worse.”
Swindle sighs and adjusts his glasses again
“Vortex was taken as a boy. He wasn't even out of high school when they shoved him into the lab. Me and Onslaught were pulled right out of the college exams. The others were no better, although they were usually a little older. My point is that it was allowed. It's what the superiors could do and no one told them no.”
Blurr tilts his head and gets a little all turned around to see Swindle better with his right eye.
“But you... found a way to change that, didn't you?
Swindle rubs the bridge of his nose
“I have no power over my own superiors. But Onslaught and I have come up with a plan. Look. I'll put it in simple terms for you. Above me is my boss, and above him is another boss, and so on but at the very end of that chain are people from the government. The investors. So we figured out a way to cut through the chain of command and influence them directly. Make them worry about us. It's a kind of social shield. Onslaught is a genius.”
Blurr blinks.
“Why are you telling me all this.”
Swindle takes off his hat and just. Crumples it in his hands. The back of his head shows numerous scars and the glint of tiny metal implants barely visible behind his hair.
“You're that shield right now, Blurr. You can't leave.”
Blurr's eye widens
“Is that why you insisted on ‘befriending’ me with all those bullshitters?”
“I needed to make sure that in their minds we weren't just a military unit. To keep them thinking that we're as human as they are. So I gave Project Mecha a face.” He tugs on the hat again, “Your face.”
Blurr runs his fingers through his hair
“Shockwave can't do whatever he wants cause...because of me his efforts would risk going public and people wouldn't like it and it would ruin the reputation of our investors-and-they'd-cut-off-his-funding.”
Swindle puts his hat back on.
“Exactly.’ That's why he's being so persistent right now. He knows you're vulnerable and he wants to capitalize on the opportunity. Make you part of his new project and tell the world about it. Make publicity his weapon, too.”
The lamp above them flickers faintly. Blurr takes a breath. Long and tired and exhausted and. a bit doomed.
Swindle puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Please. Don't leave. At least not now. And don't let Shockwave get to you. That would open the way for him to get to the rest of the pilots you represent.”
They just. Sit in silence for a while. Blurr quickly taps a finger on his knee. A rapid tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Swindle moves his hand away and gets up from his chair.
“There's a press conference coming up. I need you to be there. I've told everyone who needs to know that the problem is exaggerated and you're fine but they need to see you.”
Blurr smiles sourly.
“My lawyer is going to charge you such a handsome sum for that stunt.”
Swindle laughs, but his cardboard advertising smile doesn't reach his eyes.
“We’ll see about that. Seriously though. I need you there.”
Blurr bites his lip.
“I..don’t know...”
Swerve...doesn't know what to think of that.
Blurr shows up for the press conference. Late, but he makes it. Just as Shockwave is presenting his new project in his amazingly well-pitched voice. Blurr swings the door open and waltzes lazily inside, skillfully pretending not to notice the many cameras and eyes instantly directed at him.
Swerve, whose memory is still fresh thinks for a second that no, no this can't be the same person. Past Blurr looked like a wreck. Past Blurr was tense and tired and hunched over. Present Blurr couldn't look more alive. His shoulders are squared proudly, there's that cheerful springiness and grace in his stride. He moves with ease and confidence. Smoothly.
The left side of his face is neatly covered with fresh white bandages. Carefully, without leaving the even the slightest gap through which his injury could be seen. His hands are hidden under a fancy jacket. He smiles wide and bright and squints playfully toward the table.
The very embodiment of nonchalance. The few pilots sitting in the audience roll their eyes.
Swindle breathes out a barely perceptible sigh of relief. Swerve, once again using Swindle's collar as a tactical cover, can't help but let out a silent triumphant laugh. Maybe slightly more nervous than he is supposed to be.
Blurr sends Swindle a sly, sharp smile and even knowing it wasn't meant for him, Swerve feels his cheeks heat up.
Ah, damn it.
Swerve breaks the rules. He tells himself that peeking is fraught with consequences when it comes to military organizations, but he can't stop himself from being curious. And from worry, too.
And now that he knows where to look, he sees things he'd rather not see.
Blurr ... is crumbling.
Swerve doesn't know all the details and consequences, but that incident did leave a mark.
But every time Swindle calls him and says “I need you at some place in two hours” he gets up and assembles himself into a human being. Like a goddamn puzzle. Tapes and covers the burned half of his face. Covers up the bruises and hides the stitches. Fixes his hair and sets off on shaky legs to pretend he's fine.
He smiles so bright and carefree, laughs so sweet and beautiful that no one would ever think that even standing up sometimes hurts.
And continues to act like a jerk of course.
The only difference is that this time Swerve mentally gives him the presumption of innocence before he starts judging.
Blurr does a lot of things that seem rude. He also does a lot of things that are actually rude and figuring them out without resorting to alien superpowers would be nearly impossible.
When the pilots see Blurr sitting right on the table while negotiating with investors, they roll their eyes and make comments about his terrible manners. Or when he stops showing up for even the most basic, rudimentary training.
Or when he develops that stupid habit of leaning his elbows on people standing next to him.
It's the model behavior of a rich, spoiled brat.
It's also an inconspicuous way to stay upright.
Employees say “that dumbass has never heard of personal space.”
Investors say, “I think he likes me.”
Blurr leans on Swindle's shoulder and through a charming smile says “Don't move or I'm gonna fall.”
Swindle also keeping up the smile discreetly holds him back, pretending it's a friendly half hug.
Swerve feels like yelling at both of them, but he's not sure what for exactly. For one thing, Blurr in his condition is very VERY VERY contraindicated to even get out of bed, let alone participate in social activities.
On the other hand, without Blurr, everything is going down the pit.
Without Blurr, all the government sees are dry reports and spreadsheets. Without him, all the high command has is numbers and a sense of impunity. Swerve is sickened by how easily people tend to forget that numbers represent other people.
Most pilots are able to draw a parallel between deteriorating working conditions and Blurr's sudden fondness for staying home instead of working. But they think the rich jerk got scared and ran away. Considering the way Blurr has always behaved at work - Swerve can't even judge them too much for it. They assume Shockwave getting more freedom is the cause of Blurr's absence, not the result.
Blurr's influence only becomes noticeable when it slowly starts to fade away. It's like switching from expensive tea to a cheaper one. The awful flavor only becomes noticeable in contrast.
Blurr doesn't lead the development of new technologies or go out to fight in the field. He doesn't make plans and reports, he doesn't participate in drills, he doesn't cover anyone's back in battle.
But he's the one who puts his hand on the government's shoulders when they're about to sign the next piece of paper. He's the one they have to look in the eye before they have a pen in their hands and a document authorizing Shockwave to stick more needles in people's brains.
It makes a difference. Small one. But still.
It turns a disembodied imaginary “combat units” into a tangible person.
From “do you want to accelerate the combat training of new soldiers” to “are you willing to tell the living, breathing guy standing in front of you that shoving poison under his skin is an idea you approve of.”
More importantly (And Swerve actually admires Swindle for this) Will you be able to explain anything to your families later on, when this same guy is on TV all over the country saying that's what you did to him?
There have been two fronts here all this time, Swerve realizes.
While the pilots were protecting people from monsters wearing teeth and armor, Blurr was protecting the pilots themselves from monsters wearing ties and lab coats.
After another conference, Shockwave stops Blurr in the hallway.
“Good show.”
Blurr laughs. Soundly and proudly.
“Thanks darling~ Sorry I interrupted you. Your speech sounded like something important, but I don't really know much about nerd stuff.”
Swerve, hiding on the ceiling again, snorts.
Shockwave doesn't move. Doesn't give any indication at all if he's offended or upset or whatever.
“It must have been hard getting here with your injuries.”
Blurr shrugs and lazily turns his head around distracted.
“It's just a few bruises here and there. Not the end of the world.”
Shockwave nods slowly. His voice and posture and all, Swerve thinks, looking very uncomfortable.
“Of course it isn't. But hardly good for your career.”
Blurr freezes.
No, Swerve thinks. Shit. No, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't
“Your brilliant achievements have always been a source of admiration to me” continues Shockwave “it would be a pity to lose them.”
Blurr makes an indifferent face and tucks his hands into his pockets.
“Like I said. Not the end of the world.”
Swerve imagines choking Shockwave. Dropping a lamp on his head. Maybe jumping on top of him himself. Shut up, he thinks. Shut up, shut up, stop fucking talking.
Shockwave with a nice, slow gesture pulls out a notebook from somewhere and flips a couple pages.
“Multiple burns, cracked ribs, poisoning from carbon monoxide and combustion products of toxic chemicals...”
Blurr visibly shivers and looks away.
“...loss of vision on one side...” Shockwave continues reading, ”and partial hearing loss. Finally, the impact of neural link malfunctions. And this, if I'm not mistaken, is on top of the already existing memory problems?”
Shockwave takes a step closer. Not fast enough to make it look threatening, but enough to hover.
“It may not be the end of the world, but it is the end of you.”
He writes a set of numbers on the same page, tears it off, and hands it to Blurr.
“You are broken. I can fix you.”
Blurr frowns, but takes the piece of paper.
“That fixing would involve giving you consent to mess around with my head, wouldn't it? It's brave of you to think I'd go for that.”
Shockwave tucks the notepad into his pocket.
“I can assure you, neither I nor anyone else is interested in your brain. I just want to give you back what you're truly valued for.”
Blurr flinches.
“I don't need your help.”
“ If you say so,” Shockwave agrees easily. Nods, slowly and smoothly. Then starts to walk away “But you do need your fame.”
...
“By the way, you might want to wipe the blood off.”
Blurr waits until Shockwave's back disappears around the corner, then quickly pulls a tissue from his pocket and brings it up to his nose.
____________________________
Swerve wakes up looking up at the ceiling of his room. The high, metal ceiling, of a metal room on a metal spaceship.
Holy shit...
Jazz pokes him gently on the forearm
“Are you alive? You've been gone for like quite a while...Did it work?”
“Hey Jazz” frowns Swerve “what do you know about Blurr?”
Jazz laughs
“What are you fanboying over him again? Still??? Dude's smug and arrogant. Good boss though. I was hired to perform at his parties before I became a pilot.”
Swerve sits up and rubs the back of his head.
“Ah...”
“So it worked?”
“Wha...ah! Yes! Yes, it worked! I managed to get the number and codes from the space bridge the Quints used on you. We just need to find another space bridge and we'll have a pretty much direct route to Earth...well. Or rather, to the Quint ship that's located near Earth. You get the idea.”
Jazz rubs his hands together happily.
“I'll take it.”
Swerve jumps to the floor and heads to grab an energon cube. Man, these holoform exercises are burning energy like crazy.
He stares at his metal hands like an idiot for a couple minutes. Just...Contemplates how non-human they are.
He has eight fingers again instead of the human ten. Huh.
Prowl downloads the information he's gotten and immediately runs off to plan a route to the nearest working space bridge and for a while Swerve is just.
Left to himself.
He tries not to think about Blurr. What would he even say to him? Hey, look, I'm sorry I accidentally set you up, see, I'm actually an alien who was sleepwalking and thought you were fictional, surely this won't affect our non-existent strictly professional working relationship? Nah, screw that. If he's going to sound crazy, he needs to at least come up with a good presentation for his insanity.
....
Is it weird to think humans are beautiful if you're not human? If you're kind of human, but only in your soul and only half human?
He looks at Jazz and Prowl.
“You two get along really well.”
Jazz chuckles, sitting on Prowl's shoulder.
“Right now, yes. But we got on each other's nerves quite a bit when we first met.”
Swerve looks up at Jazz's chattering legs from his height and thinks. This is working somehow.
On the other hand, Jazz is the exception rather than the rule. He's friendly with everyone, he's easy to get along with, he's the soul of any company and most importantly, he was a little too much into robots before he discovered they could be alive. If anyone could find common ground with the Cybertronians, it would definitely be Jazz.
_____________________
”Are you a ghost?”
Swerve shrieks in fear and gets covered in static. He hadn't planned on talking. He hadn't planned on being noticed at all. Blurr was supposed to be asleep! And Swerve just wanted to close the curtains and leave, because there's some noisy party going on outside and bright illuminations are very bad for a patient already suffering from neural connection withdrawal.
He freezes in place like that dude from Jurassic Park. Like if he's still enough, he won't be noticed. Oh, or was that from another movie?
“I'm just uh” he awkwardly reaches up and closes the curtains “Lights. Bad for...you...now.”
Blurr chuckles. It sounds suspiciously joyful. His whole posture and facial expression. He looks very relaxed for someone who had a ghost materialize into the room out of thin air.
Swerve traces the line of the IV with his gaze. Oops, that looks like painkillers.
“Yes I am. Uh. A ghost watching the curtains. And now the curtains are fine, so I guess I'd better go?”
Blurr squints amusedly.
“You can walk through walls?”
“Uh, I can teleport into the next room?”
He backs up his words by making himself disappear and reappear in another corner of the room.
“Cool!” says Blurr cheerfully.
Swerve is involuntarily infected by his mood and makes a couple dramatic bows as if he were some kind of magician.
“ Show me more?”
“Hehehe okay eh” Swerve spreads his arms like he's presenting something and then makes himself the size of a soda bottle and teleports to the edge of Blurr's bed “Ta daaaa~”
“Wooooo look at you, you're like an action figure~”
Blurr immediately makes an attempt to touch him, but fails to reach and drops his hand back on the blanket.
Swerve chuckles and steps closer. It's funny to see the usually incredibly agile Blurr struggling with something so simple and ridiculous.
“They really drugged you huh?”
“It's not the drugs” snorts Blurr ”...it's my eye.”
He raises his hand once more and hesitantly pulls it towards Swerve until it bumps into his hair
“... depths Per…percen.. ah, shit. I can't tell how far away things are.”
Swerve just. Lets Blurr fidget at himself, while starting to feel really bad at the same time.
"If you can't tell how far things are, how are you going to drive?
Race???”
He must have a plan right? Something? Let’s-prove-Shockwave-wrong tactic???
Blurr drops his hands back on the blanket
“I won't.”
He freezes when the all too close fireworks rumble outside the window. Then points to his head.
“With this. I can't drive, I can barely walk at all, and I look like horror movie material. Pathetic heeh.”
Swerve sits down quietly cross-legged on the blanket.
“Well...at least you're alive....”
Blurr shakes his head.
“If I had died, it would have been epic. You know? Dharm...dramatic! It would be big news and everyone would be talking about what a hero I was or...or something...”
“...”
“Swindle would be so angry, but he'd figure out a way to make money out of it. He'd make a commercial about how people should be heroes. I'd be remn..remembered for being cool and brave and stuff.”
Fireworks can be heard from the street again. Swerve notices that there is a thin slit between the closed curtains through which a slim, flickering strip of multicolored light streams into the room.
Blurr frowns and leans back against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.
“I've turned into a boring wreck. My records will be beaten, my career forgotten , and all the guys from work will remember me as a brat. In a--in a--in a way, it's worse than death. Shockwave's right.”
Swerve isn't sure what exactly would be an acceptable gesture of comfort, so he kind of just. Places his hand on the blanket covering Blurr's lap.
“Hey, don't say that. I think what you're doing is great.”
“Liar” smiles Blurr crookedly ”You hated me. I saw your posters collection.”
Oh shit. The ones he ripped off the walls and destroyed in a fit of fan frustration? He didn't even hide them, just shoved them in the back corner. Aw, man...
Swerve folds his arms awkwardly across his chest.
“I can be mad at you and think you're cool at the same time. I'm a multitasker.”
“You're a very specific kind of ghost.” says Blurr. Then, apparently inspired by the painkillers, decides to drop the conversational equivalent of an atomic bomb on Swerve's head “You died because of me?”
Swerve stiffens.
“I...Wwhat?”
“You know.” he makes a gesture with his hand that's ..unclear what it's supposed to mean. “You were working there with everyone else, and then there was that fire and I was sure I saw you down there under the rubble.”
He's silent for a couple seconds before he hesitantly continues
“And then no one could find you so most assumed you either burned or ran away. And now you're here with all your weird ghost stuff, so you must be dead.”
Swerve has.No idea what to think about it. And what to say? He's been so busy blaming himself for Blurr getting hurt that it hasn't occurred to him to think about what it looks like from Blurr's own perspective.
“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”
“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head’s all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”
Swerve wants to run around and bang his head against the wall.
Instead, he gets up from the hospital bed. Carefully.
“You're high. I'm not going to explain things to you while you're high, you won't understand or remember them. Go back to sleep. It's the middle of the night.”
“You'll tell me later?”
Swerve hums quietly and pulls the curtains all the way closed.
“If future, sober Blurr would want my company.”
---------------
Jazz looks at him. Very intensely.
“Are you going to tell me who this mystery person you keep coming back to Earth for?”
Swerve snorts.
“What makes you think it's anyone in particular?”
“You're right, you're right~” raises his hands in surrender Jazz “So are you going to tell your friend the whole thing?”
Swerve crosses his ..metal arms over his metal chest.
“Is it that big of a deal? He thinks I'm a ghost or something.”
Being a ghost...somehow better, he thinks. If you're a ghost, it kind of automatically implies you're human. Or was a human.
“Sooner or later, he'll put the facts together~” says Jazz in a chant.
Swerve laughs.
“That's unlikely. He's got a pretty bad memory.”
_______________
His plans to stay out of anyone's sight combust with a dramatic pop the next time he projects himself to Earth. He doesn't plan to interfere, he doesn't even plan to linger. He just wants to see what's going on.
He actually just quietly sneaks into the hospital to make sure nothing's happened to Blurr since last time, but when he finally finds him then...oh shit, is that Pharma in the same room with him??? This can't be good.
They don't speak, but Pharma has clearly locked his eyes on Blurr and starts making his way towards him with the relentlessness of a industrial metal press.
Swerve does some rough math in his head. If he briefly gives his holoform back its detail and voice, will that be enough to fry his processor? He's not sure.
Pharma gives a believable impression of a shark getting close. The staff, as if sensing something untoward is about to happen, leaves the room in a hurry.
Blurr looks indifferent, but Swerve's attention is drawn to the way he squints tensely. Man, the lamps are too bright in here.
Pharma smiles sweetly and reaches out for a handshake
“Mind some company?”
Swerve's mental processes fly out the window. Oh no no. Not Pharma. Not in his fucking fanfic. He quickly changes his work clothes into a slightly more business-like looking shirt. Thinks for just a moment and adds a cap to his head to blend in more strongly with the attendants and hide his face to an extent. And then projects himself around the nearest unoccupied corner and runs out of behind it looking as anxious as he feels.
“Blurr!!! Sir, there you are!!! I've been looking everywhere for you!”
Pharma wants to say something, but Swerve doesn't even let him start. He stands in front of Blurr separating him and Farma expressively waves his hands trying to keep his head down.
“The guys you were talking about didn't bring the new hydraulics! It's a disaster, we'll have to use the one on the old models!”
Blurr, to his surprise, backs up his act almost instantly
“Really? But I thought there was nothing to take from the old models?”
“That's exactly the point! I got the paperwork this morning and...oh those assholes are going to screw it up if you don't step in as soon as possible!”
Pharma tilts his head
“Can it wait? We were actually talking here!”
Oh no, thinks Swerve I'll show you who's talking.
“Sir, no offense but this is a matter of extreme urgency. Are you implying that the safety of your patients is not important?”
“What do you mea...”
“Old faulty hydraulics, that's what you want?” raises an eyebrow in horror Blurr.
“No I'm just...”
“I had a better opinion of you, to be honest.”
“I...” opens his mouth Pharma “...WHAT...?”
Swerve shakes his head.
“And I thought his profession was to help people, can you imagine?”
“Wh..”
Blurr rolls his eye.
“Any idiot can get an important position these days.”
“Wait..”
“Tell me about it. Especially doctors.”
Pharma looks like he's about to start pulling the hair out of his head.
“Can at least one of you shut up??”
Swerve adjusts his cap in a businesslike manner
“Sir, I understand you're a bit detached from reality spending so much time in your department, but you need to take better care of your reputation.”
He raises his eyebrows knowingly
“Wouldn't want the rumors about you to turn out to be true. You know what I mean?”
Pharma doesn't even answer anymore. Pharma just looks like a discarded fish.
“…..Wha....there's rumors?”
“Of course” shrugs Swerve ”Ask Norman, he usually knows everything about everyone. And about your interesting tricks with safety, too.”
He leans in conspiratorially, effectively pulling all of Farma's attention to himself
“So if I were you, I'd stay out of any more things you don't understand.”
Pharma wants to say something. Swerve can tell by the look in his eyes. Pharma tries to come up with a witty and context-appropriate response, but this whole conversation has no more context than a typical episode of Teletubbies.
“Where does this Norman guy work?” finally finds the ground beneath his feet Pharma
Swerve shrugs.
“Block C, if he hasn't been transferred yet. He's already been fined several times for spreading harmful information you know? The guy can't keep a secret.”
Pharma throws his hands up angrily and storms away. Probably looking for context. Or revenge.
A quiet cough sounds behind Swerve's back.
“So. Should I be worried about Norman's health?”
Swerve feels the hair on the back of his neck shiver and slowly turns to face Blurr while still looking somewhere on the floor.
“Uh...only if you're concerned about the fate of fictional characters. I made up Norman's wife, she'll be upset if he gets fired for gossiping.”
Blurr chuckles. Then goes silent. Then, after a couple seconds, starts laughing again. That's a good look for him, Swerve thinks. It's not like Blurr's usual velvet-smooth laugh that he uses at social events. It's more like a quick, jerky giggle, and in Swerve's subjective opinion, it's pretty damn cute. He can't help but grin.
Blurr snorts one last time, cutting off the laughter.
Then he reaches out his hand to him.
Swerve reaches back, expecting a handshake, but Blurr ignores his hand and instead goes for his cap and lifts it by the brim.
Swerve, not expecting this, freezes with his hand outstretched.
Blurr freezes as well, still holding the cap in his hand and looking...like he's rethinking his life. A little.
Ugh, and how to explain it all to him....
“Uh...you...uh...probably don't remember me. I...it's...”
Blurr shifts his gaze from Swerve to the cap in his hand. Then back to Swerve.
“You're real???”
Swerve awkwardly waves his hands in front of him
“Ah not.., not really. Do you know why Pharma was looking for you in the first place? He doesn't work with patients anymore, he's been reassigned to the research department, right?”
Blurr shrugs.
“Last time I saw him, he said I might have implant rejection in the third ..uh..what? stage? or something? I think he's trying to get me in for a checkup.”
Swerve twitches.
“Third??? How are you still standing???”
He then quickly reaches up with both hands to Blurr's head and tilts it so he can see his face better. Using one thumb, he pulls his lower eyelid slightly and mentally catalogs. Temperature normal, pupil normal, eyes are steady, no darkening or trace of blood on the eyelid. Implants? He puts both palms up and gently feels the places behind Blurr's ears. No signs of rejection or malfunction.
“No no no” sighs Swerve ”You're fine, it's only stage two. I mean, second sucks too, migraines and all, but you just need to rest and no bright lights and...” he finally notices his hands are still on Blurr's head and pulls them back as fast as if he's been burned ”I MEAN I'm uh...sorry, I didn't mean to, I...”
Blurr laughs quietly.
“I'm glad you're back.”
_____________________
He wakes up in his quarters and can feel his face burning.
When he goes out to get the energon, Jazz throws him a look.
“Is something wrong? You're all kinda...shaky.”
“Hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuu” imitates signs of life Swerve “Say, doesn't it bother you that Prowl isn't human?”
Jazz smiles
“ Oh, I went crazy when I found out. But we figured it out.”
“Like...on a scale from ‘bad grade in school’ to ‘an asteroid is coming to Earth’ how crazy was it?”
“Worried about what your human friends will think?”
Swerve swings back and forth on his heels
“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Whatnooooo, no of course not. I'd be worried if I planned on telling them at all.”
Jazz frowns
“No offense, but keeping secrets isn't your strong suit.”
“Haha” Swerve waves his servo “ Watch me.”
#maccadam#tf mecha universe#blurr#Swerve#mecha writing#mecha kef writing#mecha bs writing#if you saw any mistakes - no you didn’t#it’s six am I need to go to bed but I wanted to post it before my brain shuts down completely#mecha pilot jazz au#jazzprowl#jazzprowl happens on the background lol#Swindle#two nano seconds of Vortex#Shockwave#Pharma
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Good Intentions
See Me Through You Fic
Synopsis: An argument between you and your twin ultimately leads to an argument between you and your fiancé who calls you out about your actions and tells you how being overprotective isn't a good thing
Pairing: Fiancé!Joe Burrow x Fiancée!Reader
Series Masterlist
Requested by: by boo @hoodharlow 💕
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
AN: This takes place during Ja'Marr's rookie season. You are still at LSU and taking summer classes
The last thing your twin ever wanted to do was hurt your feelings, but all in all he had had enough and had reached his limit when it came to you being overprotective.
At this point, it was honestly suffocating.
It had been this way since the two of you were born and although Ja'Marr was grateful to be able to get along with his sibling since he knew not everyone did, something had to give. Yes, the two of you would talk to each other multiple times a day, but it seemed as if his phone had been ringing nonstop since he landed in Cincinnati.
As soon as he was going to text you and tell you that he wanted to talk about the situation, his phone was ringing indicating that it was you….
Again.
Taking a deep breath, Ja'Marr answered.
“Yes, Pebbles?”
“Bam Bam! Are you okay? How's everything going? I miss you. Did you eat breakfast already and take your vitamins?”
“I'm fine. I was fine when you called me two hours ago too…. at six in the morning. I miss you too. And yes to both of those questions.”
“It's just so weird not having you here and I hate it. I'm so proud of you, though. I always knew you would make it to the NFL because I saw your potential and how good you were. What do you have planned for today?” You asked as you were currently at the nail salon trying to decide on the color that you wanted.
You would be reunited with both your brother and fiancé in three weeks and you had been counting down until the last minute.
“Same plan that I had two hours ago. Just trying to get settled. Go explore the city a little bit.”
“Okay, well I guess I'll let you do that. I like how you're still getting an early start.” You told him as it was still barely eight in the morning.
“Wait, Pebbles can we talk?”
“We'll talk later when I call you back. I'm at the nail salon. Give me like an hour or two. They're ready for me. Love you!”
“Love you too.” Ja'Marr quietly said before the two of you hung up and he quickly looked up at Joe who was sitting across from him and half asleep himself since you had requested once again for him to head over to Ja'Marr's to check on him.
“You have got to tell her because this is insane. I feel like I've seen you more in the past week than I did my whole two years at LSU.” Joe told him as he shook his head.
“I just… I don't want to make her feel bad because I know she means well.”
“But this cannot keep happening. I'm surprised she hasn't told me to make you move in with me so I can keep an eye on you. That's probably going to happen by the end of the day.”
“I'll talk to her once she calls me back later.” Ja'Marr replied, but if he was being honest he was actually dreading this conversation.
“You mean in five minutes?” Joe asked and Ja'Marr couldn't help but to laugh.
“I should time it and see how long it takes for her to actually do it.”
“Well in the meantime, I'm going back to sleep. But I know I won't be able to sleep for long before she's calling me back too.” Joe said as he got up and grabbed his keys making his way towards the door.
“I just hope she doesn't take it the wrong way.”
“I think everything will die down once she's actually here in person.”
—
When you had finally gotten out of the nail salon after admiring them and taking multiple pictures and had got settled in your car, you called Joe to see what he was up to and to also check on your brother. It was hard not being able to be with your brother as well as your fiancé since you had gotten accustomed to having both of them.
You were taking a few summer classes which delayed you spending time with him in Cincinnati. Luckily, you only had a few weeks left until you would be able to.
“Hi baby! My nails are pink! I took a picture and sent it to you.” You proudly told Joe as he had you on speaker and was looking at the picture as you were telling him.
“I love them. Can't wait to feel them scratching down my back.”
“I… behave yourself!”
“I am behaving! I can't help that I miss my girl.”
“Aww, I miss you too. I just wanted to take this class so it will lessen my load come next semester. Anyway, babe, can you go and check on Ja'Marr?” You sweetly asked and Joe couldn't help but to roll his eyes and was thankful that it wasn't a facetime call. He knew that it was only a matter of time.
“Baby, I was literally just over there three hours ago. I'm not going over there again.” Joe told you as he was trying to make himself a smoothie and started to get ingredients out of the fridge.
“But I have to know if he's okay!”
“Y/N, are you going to let him be an adult or…?”
“He's my baby brother! And you told me that you would look out for him once he got to Cincy. And since when is he an adult?! He is still three in my eyes!”
“Princess, I am looking out for him, but you are being extremely overprotective and Ja'Marr is scared to say anything because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. How long are you going to try and hold his hand for? And he became an adult the minute that he turned eighteen.”
“If he had a problem with me calling him so much, he would tell me. He tells me everything.” You said and Joe scoffed.
“Uh? What was that sound for? See, you're the youngest so you probably don't understand! I have been looking out for him since forever! I have so many responsibilities on my shoulders being the oldest.”
“Older by three minutes. And you need to calm down and let him be. You are in the wrong here, but won't admit it. Nothing wrong with checking on him, but babe this is borderline obsessive.” Joe explained to you as he was now cutting up the fruit he wanted to put in his smoothie.
“Joey, what the hell!? He's the only sibling I have.”
“I'm your fiancé and I'm always going to be honest with you. I don't care if it's something you don't want to hear or agree with.”
“There is literally nothing wrong with what I'm doing.”
Joe couldn't help but to roll his eyes once more.
“Okay, baby. Since you don't think it's bothering him, hang up and call him. Then call me back and tell me what he says.”
“Fine, you’ll see.” You said as you shrugged even though Joe couldn't see you.
Once you hung up with him, you called your twin and he didn't even give you a proper greeting before he started to go off on you.
“Y/N, what could you possibly ask me about now?”
“Whoa, what's the attitude for? And I thought you wanted to talk to me? You always want to talk to me.” You asked as you were caught off guard.
“Don't you have class, or practice, or SOMETHING that you can occupy your time with instead of calling me every five minutes?”
“I… Ja'Marr I just want to make sure you’re okay. You're my baby brother and my twin. Only one I have.”
“Yes, I know and you will NOT let me fucking breathe. Like got damn. I've only been here a damn week and all of my calls are basically from you every two minutes. Yes, Joe is checking on me and making sure I'm good. But I don't need a babysitter. He's also getting annoyed because you tell him to come and check on me ten times a day!” Ja'Marr told you unable to hold back any longer.
“But… you turned your location off. I need to know where you are. You never turn it off. What's up with that?”
“NO YOU DON'T. I'm good, that's all you need to know. All you have been doing ever since I got drafted was be extremely overprotective! Mom and dad aren't even this bad.” He told you as he was being completely honest.
It was quiet for a few seconds before you decided to say anything, obviously hurt by his reaction.
“If I'm bothering you, I'll stop. I just miss you is all. But I can see that I'm causing more harm than good. So I'll hang up now.” You said with tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
“Wait, Pebbles, I just…” Now Ja'Marr was regretting his approach because he now knew for a fact that he had hurt your feelings which he was trying to avoid doing.
“Bye, have a good rest of your day.”
You didn't give him a chance to finish as you quickly hung up and wiped away the tears that did end up falling. Figuring that you were also probably bothering your fiancé just as Ja'Marr mentioned, you decided to send him a text instead of calling him again.
You- I'll stop asking for you to check on him
Joey- Baby, I don't mind checking on him. Just tone it down a little bit. I promise you that he's okay. If he wasn’t, you would be the first person I told.
You- No, I'm not asking anymore at all. If he wants to talk to me, he will and I'll leave it at that. I guess I'm bothering you too so I'll let you be. Talk to you whenever.
Joey- Princess, stop being ridiculous. You aren't bothering me.
You- Ja'Marr said otherwise so goodnight
“Shit.” Joe muttered underneath his breath before typing a response back to you.
Joey- It is literally 11 in the morning and you're being petty
You- I can tell time, goodnight like I said
For the rest of the day, your phone had been blown up by Joe but you weren't budging. Ja’Marr had been eerily quiet, but you definitely weren't about to say anything to him.
He wanted space so that was what he was going to get.
If he felt like you were being extremely overprotective and also bothering Joe with your antics, you were simply going to keep your distance.
About a week had passed and Ja'Marr honestly felt weird.
He hadn't talked to his big sister and since it was out of the ordinary, when certain things happened he didn't have anyone he would immediately run and tell about it.
That person had been you.
He had been leaving you messages here and there with no response from you.
Joe wasn't any better and you would be sending him one word answers to his text messages while declining his facetime calls despite him wanting to call a truce.
He came to the conclusion that you were obviously still hurt by the argument that had taken place, but he needed to fix this before you came to see him in two weeks.
Well, if you still wanted to see him, that is.
Because as of right now he wasn't so sure.
It was now around six in the evening when you and Erin had just gotten back from going shopping and you had begun to put away your clothes in your closet when you heard Erin's phone ring as she was sitting on your bed.
“Oh no.” She breathed out and you looked at her in confusion.
“What?”
“Your baby daddy is calling me.” She told you and you quickly rolled your eyes.
One thing about Joe is if he knew you were mad at him, nine times out of ten he's calling Erin to check on you because he knows that you'll keep ignoring him.
“I'm not talking to him right now.”
“Wait, didn’t you tell him goodnight at 11 in the morning the other day?” She asked while laughing.
“Yes, and I meant it.”
“Let’s see what he wants.” Erin replied as you quickly shook your head no before exclaiming it.
“NO!”
“Too late. Hi Joey!” Erin said as she waved at him with you quickly rolling your eyes.
Great, it was a facetime call too.
“Hey Erin, where's Y/N?”
“In front of me and I told her to call you so that the two of you could make up but she's being stubborn.” She told him and you promptly rolled your eyes.
“Can you pass her the phone?” He politely asked and she quickly nodded.
“Sure.”
It took a minute for you to take the phone from her, but once you did, you didn't greet your fiancé but simply stared at him.
“Baby….”
“What? What do you want?”
“Lose the attitude. And I’m just checking on you, have you talked to your twin at all?”
“Nope, and I don't plan on it. He asked me if I had something to occupy my time with instead of bothering him and here we are. And I thought I told you goodnight already?”
“Princess, he wants to talk to you and apologize but you wouldn't know that since apparently you've been ignoring him. And you told me that damn near a week ago. We communicate with each other in this relationship and this needs to end tonight.”
“Okay, can I get back to watching my shows now?” You asked as you had now moved from your room to the living room and turned on Netflix with Erin behind you.
“No, talk to him first and then we need to talk.”
“Well I don't know how that's going to happen because I'm not calling him.”
“There's no need to, he's right here.” Joe told you and quickly passed the phone to Ja'Marr.
“Wait, what?”
“Pebbles….”
“Wow, the minute I say I'm going to stop calling you, look who decides to come crawling back?” You told him and Ja'Marr quickly rolled his eyes.
“You need to shut your petty ass up so I can apologize.”
“I will jump through this phone and tackle you. Fuck a D-line.” You shot back and he let out a deep sigh.
“Like I was saying because I am ignoring that last statement. I never meant to hurt your feelings and it did come out kind of harsh.”
“Kind of? That's putting it lightly.” You muttered as you were deciding which show you wanted to catch up on.
“Y/N!”
“I'm just telling it like it is.”
“Anyway, I'm sorry but we have got to come to a compromise because we can't keep doing this.”
You sighed before answering him, but quickly nodded in agreement.
“I'm sorry too, but the only way I'm forgiving you is if you door dash me some food.”
“Already done. Honey old bay wings, all flats. Should be there in the next ten minutes.”
“Oh, you are definitely trying to get back on my good side. But on a serious note, I promise to give you more space and I never want you to feel like I'm suffocating you. I just… it's kinda lonely here now. I do have Erin and Alisha but…. I have literally never been away from you.” You confessed as Ja'Marr nodded.
“I know and it's going to take some time for us to adjust. But we'll get there. We good now?”
“Yes, we're good.”
“Now stop being a petty ass fiancée to my best friend.” Ja'Marr said as he eyed you and handed Joe back the phone.
“Babe?”
“Yes, princess?”
“I'm sorry and you know I love you. And yes I need to work on my communication when it comes to you and stop shutting you out.” You told him while you got up off the couch to grab a drink from the fridge.
“I don't know how many times that I have to remind you that I'm not him. I care about how you feel and am always willing to meet you halfway. I asked you to marry me for a reason. I love you too.”
“Sometimes I swear I don't deserve you.” You whispered and Joe simply shook his head.
“We deserve each other and we're going to continue to make our relationship stronger because once I slip that ring on your finger next summer, that's it. You're mine forever and whatever problems may arise, we simply have to figure it out together. We're a team, okay?”
“Okay.” You quietly said as you smiled at him.
"See you in two weeks, princess?” Joe asked with excitement dripping from his voice.
“Two weeks and not a day more.”
#joe burrow#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow x black reader#joe burrow angst#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow x you#joe shiesty#joey burrow#nfl imagine
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DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke
WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more
| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list
You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day.
He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.
Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things.
Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight.
Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.
A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.
You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.
"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.
"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.
Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.
You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.
With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.
You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.
At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.
"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."
"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.
Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.
"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.
"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-
"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.
"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"
"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."
He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.
Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.
Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.
His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.
"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."
Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.
"Hmm?"
"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."
Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."
He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.
"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."
You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.
You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.
The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.
"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.
You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure.
Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.
-------------------------------------------------
Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.
"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."
Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."
You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"
He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."
It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.
"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."
Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."
Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!
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#yandere bleach x reader#yandere bleach#bleach x you#bleach smut#bleach x reader#bleach x reader smut#aizen x reader#aizen x you#aizen x reader smut#aizen smut#yandere aizen
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compilation of nice/sweet things the foxes said to neil because even though they're a bunch of assholes who'll insult anyone in their vicinity they all just love him so damn much (part 1) :
WYMACK :
"if your parents are a problem for you, we'll move you to south carolina early."
"foxes are foxes for a reason and they know we wouldn't sign you if you didn't qualify. that doesn't mean they know specifics. it's not my place to ask and I'm sure as hell not going to tell them."
"it's about second chances, neil. second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."
"I have never, ever hit someone without provocation and I'm sure as hell not going to start with you. you hear me?"
"I'll take care of this. you take care of you."
"do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? what were you thinking? you should have called me"
"any of us would have come and gotten you"
"it's not your job to take care of yourself anymore. it's your job to play, and mine and abby's job to look after you."
ANDREW :
"oh you might actually turn out to be interesting"
"you be something. kevin says you'll be a champion. four years and you'll go pro. five years and you'll be court."
"curious that a man with so much potential, who has so much fun, who could 'be something' wouldn't want any of it"
"a liar who practices occasional honesty. clever."
"are you going to tell kevin?" "don't ask me stupid questions"
"oh neil, as unpredictable as he is unreal"
"what would it take to make you stay?"
"I'll stand between you and the moriyamas"
"you gave your game to kevin. give your back to me."
KEVIN :
"neil is exactly what the foxes need right now. his inexperience is inconsequential. we went through a hundred files looking for a striker for this year, but neil is the only one we approached. we knew as soon as we saw him we needed to sign him. we're just lucky we got there before anyone else did"
"our primary concern was keeping neil safe"
"*to riko* leave him alone."
MATT :
"are you bleeding anywhere?"
"coach says [neil's] got potential. andrew says you're fast. [...] andrew bets you can outrun everyone on this team."
"seriously are you okay?"
"I'll owe you one" "you won't owe me anything"
"you be careful, okay?"
"I'm fine" "you say that a lot. I'm starting to think you don't know what it means."
"coach says stupid but I say you have balls of steel"
NICKY :
"neil, you clean up good"
"andrew is keeping you, same as he kept kevin. it means you're part of the family now. [...] family means something different with us because it has to. it's not about blood. it's not even about who we like. it's about who andrew's willing to protect."
"that makes you invaluable to andrew"
"you're one of us, which means we'll never push you further than you're willing to go"
DAN :
"are you okay?"
"coach said you hitchhiked your way back here. I'd yell at you for being stupid but coach said he handled that already"
"we didn't let him [in]. he didn't make it further than the front door."
"neil? you don't have to do this, you know"
ALLISON :
"looking fancy"
SETH :
"maybe you're not as stupid as I thought"
AARON :
(I know it surprised me too but it's probably the only compliment he gives neil throughout the entire series and they literally just met at that point)
"at least you're not going to completely drag us down. it'll take most the season to get you where we need you to be but I can see why kevin picked you"
#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#the foxhole court#kevin day#aaron minyard#nicky hemmick#david wymack#renee walker#allison reynolds#matt boyd#dan wilds#seth gordon#psu foxes#the foxes
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𐂂 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕- 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒇𝒘𝒃, 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆! 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔, 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐, 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈? 𝒊𝒅𝒌
𝚊/𝚗: 𝒉𝒆𝒚𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒍! @faithlia 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒗𝒔, 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔�� 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍! 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒖 ♡︎
Reader|Chris|Nick|Julie(reader's friend)
This is getting out of hand. One of these days someone's gonna walk in and see us like that, hear us, or find out. He acts like he isn't the one making sure to tell me every time that this needs to stay between us. Calling me to his room when I'm over to kiss me, looking at me way too much when we're out with friends, slapping my ass when no one's watching.
It's not a bad thing, though, me and Chris get along pretty well and even when we need to keep things friendly it isn't that hard. What's hard is keeping this a secret when he makes no effort to keep his hands to himself.
-Your brothers are waiting for us upstairs. -I mumble against his lips, trying to push him away.
-Let them wait. -He trails kisses down my neck, hands firmly caging me in between him and the wall.
I tilt my head to the side, knowing it was wrong, but not strong enough to allow myself to make him stop. We hear footsteps getting closer, knocks on the door and an angry Matt yelling on the other side.
-We need to go. -I whisper, when I hear Matt climbing upstairs.
-I know, just one more. -He smirks down at me, leaning closer.
This time I shake my head and place my hands on his chest, giving him a warning look.
-We'll get caught if you keep doing shit like this, we need to go, Chris.
He rolls his eyes with a huff, taking one step back, but standing too close for me to walk away just yet.
-So what? Gonna act like you don't like the idea of getting caught? -He raises an eyebrow at me, suggestively.
That was the first time I lost my patience with Chris, forcing my way out and grabbing my purse, rushing to the door before he could stop me.
I didn't think much about it, days passed by and we were okay again, with no mentions of what happened. Until something similar happened again.
-Fuck, you look so hot right now.
He lifts his head to eye me up and down, setting his phone down on the bed and manspreading. I finish applying my gloss and take one step back, turning my body slightly to check if everything is in order.
-You're gonna drive me crazy tonight. -He shakes his head, using one hand to adjust his hat.
-Is that so? -I ask, with a smile, but not giving him too much attention since we were already kinda late and I wasn't ready.
It's one of our mutual friends' birthday party and it's supposed to be a big thing, he rented a mansion and a lot of influencers are going. I wanted to look nice, so I took my time.
-Mhm. -He hums in response, standing up and placing his hands on my waist.
-Can you help me with this? -I ask, handing him my necklace.
He wasn't even trying to hide how turned on he was, his bulge poking me as he pushes my hair to the side, leaning closer to prop kisses on my neck.
-Chris. -I warn him, doing my best to ignore it and put on my rings.
-Yeah? -He asks, smirking against my skin and nibbling it softly.
I sighed, knowing the necklace was the last thing for me to be ready and he was prolonging our time here on purpose.
-We're almost an hour late. -I let him know, giving him a look through the mirror.
He smiles at me, turning me around and kissing my cheek.
-Fine, but when this party's done you're all mine.
He finally helps me with the necklace and we rush to Matt's car, my mind repeating his words nonstop. It didn't exactly bother me to hear him saying that, he meant he wanted me for sex and that's all, what bothered me was seeing how he was acting in public.
Making sure to get me drinks, whenever we were separated he was looking at me from the other side of the room, whenever another guy tried to make a move he showed up and wrapped his arm around my waist.
-What the fuck is wrong with you tonight? Why are you acting like that? -I ask, pulling him to an empty room when he was already getting on my nerves.
-What do you mean? -He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against a wall.
-You're ruining my chances with any and every person who tries to talk to me, people are going to think we're together. -I mirror his action, crossing my arms as well, arching my eyebrows in confusion, my tone full of frustration.
He scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking away from me.
-We're not, I just don't think those guys could be good for you. -He shrugs, speaking in a calm voice, but firm.
-It's not like I'm going on a date with any of them, I just want to enjoy this fuckin' party. -I sit down on the bed behind me, frustrated.
-I'm right here, though. -He says, stepping closer slowly, letting his arms fall to his sides.
-Yeah, but we can't do this in here, we said only when it's just us, no public spaces, not getting caught. -I remind him of the rules we made.
Keeping eye contact while he leaned closer knowing I couldn't kiss him and let him ruin me was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but I knew I'd regret it too much later, so I didn't give in.
-It's just us in here. -He points around, showing the empty room.
-Chris. -I sigh, hating this. It was too risky.
I'm fine with what we have, but he makes it so hard to keep it going. Not telling anyone was a mutual agreement, both of us have our reasons to not want people to know about our not-so-friendly case.
He nods, walking away without even looking at me again.
-Whatever, fuck whoever you want.
With that, I was alone in the room. It took me a while to process what happened and get out, trying to act normal throughout the rest of the night. I didn't even look at Chris anymore that day and he didn't talk to me when we were back.
It's not like I can be mad at him for too long and vice versa, but it did take longer for us to let it go and talk normally again. It wasn't the same though, since we don't share our feelings we keep the hurt and anger to ourselves and this kinda thing only leads to one thing... Explosion. When we can't hide what we feel, can't resolve the problems, can't share what's making us uncomfortable one day it just simply explodes and we find ourselves talking too much.
-Are you almost done? -Nick asks, not taking his eyes off his phone as he texts whoever.
-Yeah, just need my lipgloss.
I look around, not finding what I need, my brain giving me a hint of where it could be, already making me nervous.
-I think I left it in Chris's room last time I came over, I'll be right back. -I warn Nick, leaving his room and going downstairs.
I take deep breaths all the way down to Chris's room and knock on the door before stepping in, seeing him in his bed, also on his phone. He looks up at me, but doesn't look so interested, so I just make my way to his bathroom to find my lipgloss.
-You look nice. -He says, in a low voice not to startle me, leaning against the door.
-Thanks.
"Nice" is not something he usually compliments me with, which makes me feel weird. Being around him is not the same, but being alone with him is even worse.
I finally find my lipgloss and use his mirror to apply it, trying to end this moment as soon as possible. But, of course, Chris just can't stay quiet.
-Are you still mad at me? -He asks, getting closer and resting his chin on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me.
I sighed, knowing what he was doing and not sure if I liked it or hated it. I set my lipgloss on the countertop, looking at him through the mirror.
-I'm not mad at you, I just hate whatever this is. -I explain.
He frowns, turning me around and pushing my hair back, immediately leaning to press kisses on my neck.
-Sorry, just can't stand the thought of you with another guy. -He mumbles, nibbling my skin.
-You shouldn't mind, it's not like you want me to be yours. -I close my eyes, trying to keep my posture, but the smallest touch of him still drives me insane.
-You're already mine. -He smirks at me, finally pressing his lips against mine.
There goes all the effort to put on lipstick and gloss.
Chris kisses me hungrily, hands exploring my body as I tangle his hair and pull him closer. Everything in me screamed that this was a bad idea, especially since his last words. I'm getting out of here hurt again, I just know it, but I can't seem to stop it.
One of his hands slide under my shirt, squeezing my boobs and holding my waist possessively, the kiss became more urgent, almost needy, but we had to stop when we head knocks on Chris's door.
-Hey, are you guys ready?
Chris rolls his eyes, slowly stepping away.
-Yeah, I'm just fixing my hair, you guys can wait in the car. -I yell, turning around to the mirror.
As I fix my lips and hair the fast as I can, Chris keeps his gaze on me.
-Here, I need to clean this off you. -I say, seeing the lipgloss on his cheeks and chin.
He nodded, letting me do it without saying anything, and when we were finally ready to go, the bomb was thrown.
-Just to make it clear, you're mine, but we're not together.
I stop on my feet and turn around, confused, the smile that was on my face immediately fading.
-What?
-We're not a thing, I know Julie's gonna be there, don't go tell your friend about it or whatever, we're not anything serious.
I scoff, crossing my arms and tilting my head, looking at him in disbelief.
-You just said I'm yours, you're the one apparently wanting this to be more, I'm more than aware we're nothing.
He steps closer, a serious expression on his face, positioning his hands on my hips like he wasn't just being absurd.
-Not nothing, it's not like you can go around flirting with other people, we're just not together. -He says, like it was the most normal thing ever, passing through me and going to the car.
That's it. I just can't believe how insane he is. He thinks it's okay to say shit like that? To mess with me like that?
When I was about to leave his room, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I see two texts from Julie, one in our group chat with Matt (he made it to talk shit about his brothers with us one day and we never stop talking in it) and one in our private chat.
Julie: I FUCKIN' HATE MYSELF I WAS MEANT TO SEND IT TO YOU ONLY
Confused, I opened up the group chat, and saw the problem. It was a photo of her, well, her boobs to be more specific. It was normal for us to send some photos like this now and then when we were feeling more confident and wanted to just share it between girlies, but well, Matt's not exactly one of the girlies.
I send her a text back, rushing to the car and noticing Matt's pink cheeks, internally laughing at the situation and having an idea out of it.
We get to the mini golf, walking to find Julie on a bench waiting for us. She immediately pushed me with her to the bathroom, leaving the guys to find us a table and start a game.
-I can't even look at him! What if he hates me now? -She paces, desperate.
-He doesn't hate you, he'll be fine, you'll be fine.
-Shut up, I'm far away from fine, what if he thinks I'm ugly?
I lean against the wall, raising an eyebrow at her.
-Why do you care what he thinks?
She stopped pacing, looking at me, and with just one look I realized what she meant.
-You like Matt. -I point at her, giggling at my new discovery.
-Shh, no, I- yes, kinda. -She rolls her eyes, embarrassingly leaning against the counter.
That was the perfect opportunity for both of us.
-Okay, well, why don't we test it out to see if he likes you too? I can pretend to be flirting with you so we see his reactions.
It was not all about her and Matt, but she didn't need to know all the details.
She nodded, agreeing to my plan, and we got back to the table with the boys. I sit next to her, trying to act normal along the night and placing my hand on Julie's leg every chance I have. I got too close to her, looked at her lips like I wanted to kiss her and tried my best to act like it was all real flirting.
It didn't take too long to get a few reactions, not only from Matt, who looked like he was putting dots together and clenching his jaw when I got too close to Julie, but from Chris, who didn't even try to hide how mad he was.
The rest of the night passed by, the flirting continued until we dropped her home and got back to theirs, where I was supposed to stay the night in Nick's room.
Before I could follow Nick to his room, Chris's hands pulled me with him to his, closing his door behind us.
-What was that? -He asks, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at me.
-What was what? -I ask, playing dumb.
-Are you fucking kidding me?
His face had a mix of anger and disbelief. I give him a fake smile, tilting my head.
-I have no idea what you're talking about.
His jaw clenches and he kicks off his shoes, throwing his hat somewhere and pushing me to his bed, crawling on top of me.
-Flirting with Julie? Which part of "you're mine" you didn't get?
Seeing him all mad at me was making me feel things I shouldn't, and I hated myself for smirking up at him.
-The part I'm yours. -I tease, knowing I was playing with fire, but it was inevitable.
-Guess I need to remind you who you belong to.
His lips were immediately on mine, kissing me hungrily and eagerly. He pins my hands above my head, making sure I can't move, exploring my mouth with his tongue. He only pulled away to lower his kisses to my neck, nibbling my skin and keeping my arms pinned with only one hand so he could use the other to explore my body. He was about to lift my shirt so he could take it off me when we heard the door opening.
-Chris, she's supposed to stay the night with–
Nick's words were cut off by himself when he saw his brother on top of me, his eyes widening and jaw dropping in shock.
Chris quickly rolled to the other side of the bed, my heart beating so fast that I could barely believe what was happening. I knew this was going to happen someday, I just knew it, and yet I hated myself for being right on this.
-What the fuck? -Nick asks, looking between me and Chris.
I sigh, still a bit breathless due to what was going on just seconds ago, running my hands through my hair to fix the messy strands as I try to think of a plausible answer. And, for what seems to be the first time ever, I wish Chris would just start yapping until Nick forgot what he saw.
-How long has this been going on? -Nick asks again, still waiting for a response.
I looked at Chris, he was sitting by the end of the bed, jaw clenched. I told him a million times we were going to get caught if he kept doing shit like this when there were chances of other people barging in, and now he's mad like I haven't warned him.
-Can you just leave? -Chris finally says something, looking at his brother.
-Not until you explain what the fuck I just witnessed.
I sit upright on the bed, looking between them and noticing Chris didn't want to talk at all.
-A couple months. -I say, bending my knees and hugging my legs.
Chris looked at me like I was crazy, not expecting me to say something, but his eyes soon softened when he realized what was happening. We got caught, it's all over.
-Months?! -If Nick wasn't shocked already, he definitely is now.
Silence. I don't know why it was so hard to explain things, but I guess it's because there wasn't exactly something to explain, it was pretty much obvious.
-So are you guys secretly together or what?
Well, not so obvious. I never thought I'd hear this question and no response came to my mind, so I looked at Chris, who was already looking at me.
-Not exactly. -He says, in a low voice, almost like he was unsure of his own answer.
Another moment of silence, not even Nick had something to say.
-Can you just give us a second? -Chris asks, looking at Nick, who just nodded and immediately left the room.
As soon as the door closes again Chris moves closer to me on the bed.
-It's over, isn't it? -He asks, giving me a look that for some reason I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Here are the rules: no talking about this to anyone, it needs to stay in between us, so we'll only do anything when no one's around, no getting caught, or it's over, anything else?" "Nope, I guess that's it"
-Yeah, it is. -I say, feeling strangely upset.
He nods, knowing it is for the best, taking me by surprise when he pulls me into a hug.
-I'm sorry, I haven't been too nice to you, I'll be a better friend now. -He whispers, making me smile.
As I walked upstairs to Nick's room I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. He apologized, he said he'd be better, and he hugged me. It felt like so long ago since we last hugged before that, truly hugged.
-Are you okay? -Nick asks as soon as I open the door.
-I'm okay. -I smile at him, sitting on his bed.
-Can you explain everything to me now, please? -He asks, really needing to know what he just saw, and I can't blame him, I'd be wanting information as well, so I tell him.
-Yeah, this can not happen again, one of you will get hurt, I can't believe you guys kept this for so long!
-I know, it won't. -I say, smiling at him.
But it did.
𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ✍���
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wildfire (cs) | 9.5
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 1.2k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, takes place sometime before the NAS conference!, it's a lil sad ngl - lowkey giving unrequited love vibes
—a/n: my loves, merry christmas eve/merry christmas <33 i wish you all a very happy holidays! i'll try my best to get the space between us three - 03 up this friday, but with xmas and all, it might be a tad bit late. 😅 ty for your support and your patience, i'm v grateful for every single one of you!! ily 💕
Jiung has always cared about you since he met you. He's always been good about it, too. Never suffocating you, while at the same time making himself available whenever you needed him. He was there when you cried over your exes and ex-flings that didn't deserve shit, he was there when you just needed to get away from the house.
He was there when you were trying to figure out what to do with your life— helping you brainstorm and listening to all your if's, and's, what if's. He was there when you needed someone to hold your hair back when you were too damn drunk. He was there when you felt too high and contemplated life when you took a hit of a blunt at a party.
He was there when you doubted yourself, when you just needed someone to reassure you that you were doing enough.
"Sorry. I got caught up with some stuff in lab." You rush over to the table, plopping your things down with a loud sigh. Jiung had been waiting for you at dinner for close to 30 minutes, his texts and calls going unanswered after a simple 'running late - be there soon' text from earlier. It was most likely a mix of you being busy, along with the crap service in the basement.
"All good. You okay?"
"Yeah, I am." You smile at him, a little flustered. You actually were caught up with some project-related things; it was one of those days where things weren't going your way and you were running into every issue you could possibly run into. "Today was just not my day in lab."
"What happened?"
"What didn't happen?" You sigh. "I might ask for your help later with something. I'm not sure I can figure out what's wrong, but you might know some good routes to take." Jiung nods. "But, I don't wanna think about it right now. Need food." You pout.
"Okay, let's get some food in you then." Jiung chuckles. "Why don't you get your food first while I stay with our things?" You nod.
"I'll be back." The NAS conference was coming up soon, but it felt too busy to be excited about the event. Things were ramping up in both labs, and even though a lot of your time had been spent with San, you were busy trying to push your work in the lab in order to help Sunwoo add to his poster presentation. It was a bit of a risk, and you weren't sure the both of you would be able to pull off good, updated results in time— but the universe seemed to be on your side despite all the trials and tribulations you had to endure.
While grabbing your food in the dining hall, a call comes through on your phone and it's San. You can't help but smile to yourself, quickly swiping right to answer. You press the phone against your ear while you continue browsing the various options for tonight's dinner, biting your lip when San greets you so sweetly like he always does on the other line.
You had been planning to hang out with Jiung at the apartment after dinner, being in each other's company like before. Catching up on shows. Plans will probably change now.
"Hi baby. Hope your day wasn't too bad. Are you busy tonight?" San asks.
"It was okay. Ran into some issues in lab but nothing that can't be fixed. I'm at dinner with Jiung and we're probably gonna just hang out at the apartment after."
"I'm sorry, love. As long as you're okay?"
"Mhm." You reply in a sing-song tone.
"What were you and Jiung gonna do tonight?"
"Hang out and chill. Probably put on one of ours shows we need to catch up on."
"I see. That sounds fun, love."
"Mhm." You repeat. "Why, what about you?"
"Nothing. Just be my old man self at home." You snort.
"You said it, not me."
"Yeah, yeah." He laughs. "I just got done working out and was hoping you'd come over."
"I can."
"Sweetheart." He laughs. "You should enjoy your time with Jiung."
"I can always see him whenever and wherever. I can't necessarily do that with you." You slightly pout. Jiung searches the dining hall to see if there are other familiar faces grabbing dinner right now. His eyes land back on you, brows knitting at the way you're talking on the phone and the little mannerisms he's picking up on.
The way you're preventing your smile from getting too big.
Speaking shyly.
Pacing around the room but not really looking at the dinner options.
You're definitely occupied, and Jiung had been noticing for awhile now. He just wasn't sure what it was, and he didn't wanna ask nor did he wanna assume. He figured you'd tell him eventually, but time seems to be passing and instead of you telling him everything like you normally do—
He knows nothing and you seem to be more distant than he's used to.
You hang up the phone after nodding a few times, finally approaching the staff to place your order. You grab your container, along with those chocolate chip cookies you love so much before swiping your ID card and heading back to the table.
"Sorry, Jiung. I gotta go after dinner. Gotta fix up this mess in the lab." You plop back down onto the seat.
"I can come with you? We can take a look together."
"It's okay. I'll just text you about it if I can't figure it out."
"Do you want me to come by later instead then?" You shake your head.
"I'll be there for awhile." Jiung cocks a brow up. "I promise it's all good. I'll let you know if anything comes up." Jiung shrugs. "I'm sorry."
"Mm, it's okay. We can always catch up on our shows later on." He gives you a small, reassuring smile; one that masks how sad he feels deep down. How hurt he feels after the umpteenth time of being put on the back burner. He gets up and heads over to grab his food, internally sulking at not being able to spend time with his bestfriend yet again.
Now, he doesn't necessarily feel like he's there. Not like he used to be. And not by his own choosing, no—
It's because you seem to be distancing yourself more and more each day and he's not sure why.
He's never seen you like this.
Or maybe, he's just not good at navigating this.
Luckily though, he's a bit sidetracked when he returns to the table— eating a rice bowl that he ordered just to order. You update him about things in lab, and the both of you are able to share a good conversation about how things are going, stories about your friends. You laugh and crack jokes with him in your usual fashion. He teases and pokes fun in his usual fashion.
It feels like the old days.
And it makes it hard for him because he sees the same person he's cared for, loved, after all these years.
Yet, there's something about you that's different and he can't necessarily pinpoint it.
He can only hope you're okay, and that you're happy. Doing the right thing. Taking care of yourself properly.
When the end of dinner comes, he still doesn't know what about you is different or who is making you different. He's left standing there, watching as you speed off to the Choi Lab; dealing with the awful, lonely feeling that punches him in the gut every time you part ways without saying much lately.
You don't feel like you're there anymore, and it's unfortunate.
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#choi san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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prompt: Solomon & the Celestial Realm
a/n: I had to think about what to write when the wheel gave me this combo lol. Buuuut I wrote something kinda based on the new art because well I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, but I love him. @om-adventcalendar
Solomon x GN!MC
Warnings: slightly suggestive at the end, but still sfw
You were waiting in Solomon's room, leaning leisurely against the couch and letting your eyes roam over the spines of the books on the shelves. Nobody else was in Purgatory Hall that afternoon, which was by design. Solomon had an idea that you were both sure the angels would not approve of.
You glanced at the door to his bathroom, where he had disappeared several minutes ago. Although you felt it was taking him a little too long, you also figured he was busy putting the finishing touches on his outfit.
The many clocks in his room ticked away, making you even more hyper aware of how much time seemed to be passing.
When you were about to go knock on the door and ask if he was okay in there, it opened and Solomon came out of the bathroom.
You stood up straight and for a moment you thought you'd need to sit down.
Solomon had used a spell to alter his usual sorcerer outfit into one an angel might wear. From his back sprouted two enormous and beautiful wings. He gave you a mischievous grin.
"What do you think?" he asked. "No one will suspect me, right?"
You blinked, trying to tear your eyes away from his exposed chest and stomach. He had used magic to remove his pact marks, leaving blank smooth skin.
"Uh, assuming nobody recognizes your face," you said.
Solomon pulled up the hood of the cloak he was wearing. "I'll keep my head down. They'll never know it's me. Most angels don't know what I look like."
"Just hope you don't run into one that does," you said. You folded your arms in an attempt to look stern. "Do you really think it's a good idea to sneak into the Celestial Realm like this? Couldn't you just ask Raphael or somebody to get that special potion ingredient for you?"
Solomon looked aggrieved. "MC, you should know that I have to gather the ingredient myself," he said. "It's a very specific flower and has to be harvested in a very specific way. As good as Raphael is with a spear, I don't think I could be sure he'd do it right."
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, okay, sure," you said. "Just don't come crying to me if you get caught."
Solomon grinned and winked at you. "Don't worry about me, MC. I'll be back before you've even had a chance to miss me."
"Sure," you said. You settled on one of the couches, preparing to wait for Solomon to return. He wasn't planning on staying in the Celestial Realm for long. Just enough to get what he needed.
Solomon walked over to where you were sitting and put his hand on your cheek. He was still smiling, but it had become soft and fond. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I promise I'll come back to you."
You didn't even have a chance to respond before he had teleported out of the room. You weren't sure how he was going to get to the Celestial Realm. You knew he couldn't just teleport himself inside. But you had decided that it was probably better if you didn't know. It gave you plausible deniability.
You spent an agonizing hour in Solomon's room, waiting for him to return. You tried to distract yourself with your DDD. It worked for the most part, but half of your mind was busy worrying.
When he appeared back in the room in front of you, it was impossible to stop yourself from jumping up immediately.
Solomon grinned at you and opened his hands, showing you a small bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you'd ever seen. They shimmered with an inner light that reminded you of the golden Celestial Realm sun.
"I told you it wouldn't be a problem," Solomon said.
You let out a heavy sigh and collapsed back onto the couch. "I don't want to think about what would have happened if you had been caught."
Solomon laughed, crossing the room to place the flowers in a sealed magical container. "Give me a little more credit, MC," he said.
You twisted around to watch him. Now that your concern had passed, you couldn't deny how amazing he looked.
He smirked at you from across the room. "You're staring. Do you like my angel disguise that much?"
"Hmm," you squinted at him, as though assessing him. "It does show more skin than your usual look. Though I miss the pact marks."
Solomon came back to stand before you again and with a wave of his hand, his pact marks materialized across his skin. "Is this better?"
You stood up, reaching out to brush your fingertips across one of the marks on his chest. "Perfect," you said quietly.
His hands were on your hips, his lips so close to yours, and a heat between you that seemed to be unique to him. As though your magic reacted to him simply by being too close. He pulled you in closer and you could feel the rapid pulse of his heartbeat against your body.
The angels would be gone for a little while still and you were grateful. Because suddenly all you wanted was to watch those magical wings flutter beneath your touch.
masterlist | Thank you for reading!
#this could have devolved so quickly sdkfjjf#omadventcalendar#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me solomon#obey me solomon x reader#om solomon#om solomon x reader#x reader#misc writes
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Woah. That phrase is nostalgic of school. Fucking stationary. Pencil case.
Every surface is fucking smooth. and flat. The tables the floors the board the field the court the path the brains.
The girls like steaming compost heaps inside uniform. Sterile, kept from dirt and dust, yet somehow gross. Warm and fixed in place behind a desk like the zits and pustules on their face. Insecure eyes darting side to side and only finding each other, other girls to judge. Like some type of layer in hell.
Loosing their shit over 'guys' who are all mummy's boys at that age. Yelling over their egos, mum flavoured cries for approval. Repeating mum's script. The asian one talking about a 'gud future' it was just what mum said. The stickler worried about safety was just mum's script. Literal fucking babies. With egos. Because those are the two things that mums make. Babies and egos. It's like full circle for the girls looking because nothing less conceited would have sufficed.
There's no patriarchy. Guys stop moving without egos. Without someone to hype them up. If guys want to function without girls, they will invent women amongst themselves to hype them up. If you want dad to keep going to work and mum does a shit job of hyping him up, you better find a way fast. Either you become like a girl and hype or you get used to making your own home. If she insists that you just can't do that and you can't say no because you're still a mommy's boy and her script overrides yours. Then I hope you like lacey stuff. There was one more thing. Oh, this is when I knew it was him. Women created guys like this because of the way they are with eachother. The way they compete and stuff but always indirectly, through a middle thing. That's why they made men.
This is brother's air. Before he leaves for work is when he has the most to give and he only gives when he sees something in my messages. Doesn't make it less true. I mean i don't know if it is fully correct. I'm like a windchime at this point. Anyone you put me near, I'll make a noise to their presence, to their movements, to the air they displace. Guys usually make writing happen though. Girls will make something actually happen.
If I really wanted I can take with me this feeling about -not being a guy's hype prop by releasing my concern for finances and a place to sleep, for stability. Not stability itself but my concern over it.
She wanted me to replace him in her life, to earn for her in his place and she'd go gut whatever he'd had left without holding back. Mistakes me for him often like it already happened in her mind. Like there was no need to ask. She put me between them when I was little and said I should defend when they fought. I think she also liked cucking when they were good. I think she's a bit gay the way she talks about little girls and women's thighs. I don't know if that means I got it from her, like passed down or if I reacted to how gross she was being. Anyway. All that to say that the next time I'll say 'okay burn the house down if you like' when she tries to make herself your problem (her moods and emotions are hers) or her lifestyle your fault (her lack of lasting friendships does not make you a mandatory friend forever, you're no different to all the other people who wouldn't want to stay) or insists her decisons are your decisons (all those times you say something and get ignored, it wasn't hard to hear what you said, she didn't forget that quick. It's up to you to decide how much respect you want) but then that's no way to practice having a house and any fight or playing up will get a crowd. It's hard to affirm without resorting to disrespect when someone is actually dismisive and disrespectful. I can see how their conversations always went the same. She got what she gave. Then that carries over into other conversations. Or you just feel a bit sad and resentful at real kindess, and i've seen it on my father's face. Like he's thinking oh I have to get used to this now? Where were you this whole time. You're only temporary, it's her shit that I'm used to, we'll be back in the shit and you'll be gone, so just be gone early as a favor. It's not just her. He attracted her from a lifetime of the same shits. It made him more than rough around the edges as a consequence and I've gone through all that's like and I wouldn't want to repeat what he felt or how he became. Input output. Change his input, don't have the same shit he had.
All this sympathy towards him. Told you it was the brother. He misunderstands that's why he thinks I need to think this stuff. I need these people to take back their issues. Him you can't tell him anything other than you're hurt, you need to work on yourself. You're allowed to tell someone enough and they should leave. You don't need a million and one ways to push people away. Some are really hurtful. She was at fault when you said enough and she just smirked that you reacted and looked a fool infront of your house. Now for her, you really can't tell her anything. That's why it's taken so long to peel her off. But being here is because he failed me. I went to him, to be my lifeline IF I needed the van sold. End of story. He betrayed himself so often that he just wanted someone else to take the shit. That's why he called her seconds after he hung up and promised me he wouldn't. That's not exactly why though. There's something severly damaged about him from that last disrespect. She went to his last respectable friendship source, the guy she couldn't dis, undisputed source of respectability amongst both of them and the guy called and shamed him. It's like how the guy at the end of 1984 broke. He will just do anything after that. To appease his opressor. My father had a right to a boundary that she could not cross. He is helping by staying away. He is preventing himself from further betrayal. He is of no use to either of us in this fight. Let me finish and if I betray myself it won't be his influence. Don't fuck bears next time pa pap.
Think of leaving and that's how I know brother's air is wrapping up. It always shows up at the end as what he wants. So stressed to see the car parked, room taken up. Doesn't make it the wrong decision necessarily. Im pretty sure i could sneak guys around in the morning. To help line her up. So they want the same thing. I couldn't get him to line up with her though. I can ask for more stuff, room back, more space in the garden, hang around the house a lot. Though I still think he'd stay and get more sabotagey. It's what he's practiced. More foreign for him to get a place. More familiar to ruin something that's around. I get nothing from a fight. I don't want to have the house, I don't like to be here all the time. I can visualise him moving out. Like he does. But again, for what? I would gladly exchange the feelings for them for something good towards myself. It's just that the best way to do that is not clear cut. Everyone did the best they could with what they had. You can't choose them. If however she chose you to be her backup financial plan that's something but not at all uncommon. If she fought hard to hold you back so she wouldn't be alone then that is also not unheard of in love.
It's about learning about these behaviours from others and knowing better and also, unfortunately, it's about undoing hangups they might have caused. If they weren't undoable, many unfortunate consequences are permanent. It becomes a question of acceptance and if you accept will it also define your direction? Will you do something with it, every. single. day.
Early bird gets the moon
Lake Elkhorn, Maryland.
📷: @zalman_waihaus
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Today Only
(The Tea Lovers Pt. 9)
A Levi x reader fanfic
Crossposted from AO3
You've got the perfect plan for Levi's birthday – now Levi just has to play along. What could go wrong?
tags: fluff and humor, silly and sweet, tea-obsessed fem!reader with their head in the clouds (word count: 3.2k)
(Part one) / (Levi x reader Masterlist)
You sneaked across the foyer of the scout's headquarters, stifling a yawn. Maybe you could still get in some shut eye before morning assembly. You hadn't slept a wink all night, having waited at the docks for the first ferry of the day, and now you were chilled down to the bone. It was still criminally early, and you couldn't wait to slide under your warm covers. At least you were already in your pajamas.
You tiptoed around a corner, colliding with something solid.
"No!" you gasped, protectively wrapping your arms around the box you were carrying as you fell flat on your butt.
You squinted up at the unexpected obstacle, which, or rather who, was glaring down at you.
"Levi?" you asked, blinking in confusion. A smile formed on your lips, but then it froze – he wasn't supposed to see his present. You scrambled to your legs, attempting to hide the box as you hurried past him.
"Where do you think you're going?" He grabbed your wrist. "Care to explain why you are late?"
You winced, trying to tuck the box under your arm without drawing any attention to it.
"I missed the last ferry, that's all. Sorry if I made you worry."
Levi's eyes narrowed at your response. "Ferry? Were you in Mitras? Don't tell me you were there for t–"
"It wasn't like that," you said quickly. "This is private, okay? I'm not obligated to talk about it. And I don't want to." You had to look down to try to hide the smile tugging at your lips. Lying had never been your strong suit.
"Still, you should have told someone where you were going," he said sternly, not loosening his grip on your wrist. "You can't just disappear like that, with no way to reach out to you."
You glanced back up at him. There was an intensity in his gaze you had never seen before.
"I guess you're right," you murmured. "I didn't plan this. I was only supposed to be gone for the day."
"But you weren't. Something could've happened," he muttered. He looked away briefly, letting out a sharp breath. "Just don't do something stupid like that again, okay?"
"Okay," you said. "I promise."
Levi nodded and let go of your wrist.
"Actually, should we do a pinky promise?" You held out your pinky.
"No."
"They are stronger, didn't you know? If you break them, your pinky falls off."
He snorted. "You don't actually believe that nonsense, do you?"
"You're no fun," you pouted, but there was a gleam of mischief in your eyes. Before he could respond, you quickly grabbed his hand, intertwining your pinky with his.
Levi went still for a moment, his gaze flickering down to where your hands were connected.
"Fine," he muttered. "But don't go breaking it."
"Of course not. I want to keep my pinky, remember?"
He rolled his eyes. You gave him your biggest smile, relieved to see that he didn't seem mad anymore, and released his hand to suppress a yawn.
"By the way, how come you're still awake at this hour?" You leaned in slightly, noticing the dark circles under his eyes, which were even more pronounced than usual. Levi didn't say anything, his eyes briefly meeting yours before flicking away again.
"You should really get some sleep," you said. "I'm heading to bed, too. I'm so tired." Giving him a quick smile, you added, "Good night!" before scampering away, hugging the box with his present to your chest.
"Night? It's already morning," Levi grumbled, but you were already out of earshot.
– –
In the end, you barely managed to squeeze in one hour of sleep. That wasn't enough to dull your excitement, though. Only a few more days until Levi's birthday, and there was still so much to plan.
Determined to not lose any precious time, you went up to Erwin's office, wielding a letter of apology. You couldn't afford to to be delayed by disciplinary actions – it was best to be proactive.
You knocked once, then stepped inside without missing a beat.
"I'm so sorry for being late. Please accept this letter of apology as a token of my sincere, most heartfelt regret." You placed it on his desk. It was five pages long, packed with every minuscule detail you could've possibly thought of.
Erwin acknowledged it with a weary nod. "Ah, the prodigal child has returned."
You grinned. "Yes! And we have many important things to discuss."
He raised an eyebrow. "Do we?"
"Uh huh. I've devised a plan."
"A plan...?"
"Yes! For Levi's birthday, to be exact. And you happen to play an important role in it!"
"Of course I do," he muttered, heaving a resigned sigh.
"Don't worry," you said, practically bouncing with excitement. "It's not that hard! You just have to keep him occupied while I decorate his office and set everything up. Maybe you can call a meeting and just talk about whatever."
Erwin didn't seem to keen on the idea.
"Just for an hour, or so. If you're unsure how to fill the time, I made flashcards with suggestions."
With a proud flourish, you set down a small tower of paper cards in front of him.
The first card read: 'Striving Beyond the Horizon - A motivational speech for the upcoming expedition'.
He glanced at the flashcards, his brow furrowed slightly. "... I don't think these will be necessary, thank you."
"Suit yourself!" You picked them back up, accidentally dropping one in the process.
Erwin took it from the ground, reading it slowly, his lips twitching slightly as he took in the dramatic wording.
'Why do we keep going? What compels us every day to put on this uniform, to march towards the unknown, towards the Titans?' [Make a dramatic pause here, maybe sweep your arm out in a grand gesture to buy more time.] 'I believe there to be meaning in the journey itself, in the act of moving forward, the striving… in each of the discoveries we make along the way. Not just about the Titans, not just about the world outside, but about ourselves.' [Make prolonged eye contact here.] 'It is not just our knowledge that grows in our ever-present push against the horizon. No. We too, grow as people. As we challenge the walls, we challenge what it's like to be human.'
"Did you write an entire speech?" Erwin looked at you incredulously.
"I may have gotten a little carried away," you admitted. "It should be about an hour long, if you follow the additional directions I put in."
Erwin ran a hand over his face. "While I commend your effort, I don't think Levi would sit through an hour-long speech just for him."
"Yeah, you might be right about that." You gave him a sheepish smile. "But since this is you we're talking about, I'm sure you will figure out other ways to keep him away from his office. I have complete faith in you!"
Erwin rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking thoroughly exhausted. "You're going to great lengths for Levi."
"Of course! He's saved my butt more times than I can count. I have to give back somehow."
He scrutinized you for a moment, then shook his head. "Does Levi know you're back? If not, you should probably tell him."
"Yep, he caught me this morning when I came back, gave me a solid talking-to."
"Good. He was up all night worrying about you."
You shot Erwin a look of disbelief, then chuckled. "Haha, good one. You almost had me here. But this is Levi we're talking about."
"I'm not joking," the commander said matter-of-factly.
"Well, he probably just couldn't fall asleep. You know how he is," you replied with a shrug.
Erwin exhaled sharply. "Sure." He motioned to the papers on his desk. "I should get back to work."
"Yeah, I shouldn't keep you any longer. Thanks for agreeing to be a part of the plan though, you're a huge help!"
You beamed at him, then turned to leave. Erwin looked after you blankly. Had he really agreed? Well, with you, he figured there was rarely any other option.
– –
The alarm sounded before dawn, rousing your roommates with groans of confused annoyance. You sat up straight, feeling the excitement rush through your veins. It was the 25th of December – time to set your plan into motion.
You made your way to the mess hall kitchen, ready to kick off the first phase of your operation. After that, you went back and forth between your room and Hange's office many times – she'd kindly allowed you to store everything there, so you'd be faster setting everything up later.
As you hustled and bustled about all day, you avoided Levi like a ninja, even skipping breakfast to ensure you wouldn't run into him until it was time – teatime.
About an hour before the big moment, you crept towards Levi's office. Hiding in the shadows just around the corner, you waited patiently, listening intently to the sound of Levis footsteps as he disappeared into Erwin's office. When you were certain he was out of sight, you emerged from the shadows with a mischievous grin.
"Time to get out the good stuff."
You darted across the hallway to his door, eager to go inside and start the next phase of your plan. There was just one little problem – it was locked.
"No! Don't do this to me!" you implored the lock, but the door refused to budge, unsympathetic to your pleas. With a small, frustrated whine, you gave up. There wasn't any time to try this yourself – you'd need someone who was good with their hands.
Without hesitation, you started running, sprinting all the way to Hange's lab. You burst through the door with a dramatic little jump, but then couldn't get a word out, too busy catching your breath.
"Woah now, what's got you galloping in here like a wild stallion?" Hange asked you with a grin.
"Code… Purple," you gasped between breaths, alluding to the colors of the signal flares used during expeditions.
"An emergency, huh? Should we drop everything and panic, or can I help?"
"That depends," you panted. "Do you know how to pick a lock?"
Hange rolled up their sleeves. "Oh, you bet I do."
Next thing you knew, you were kneeling next to Hange on the floor in front of Levi's office, watching them rummage through the toolkit they brought along.
"Nice! This one should do the trick!" They inserted the small, makeshift pick into the lock, wriggling it around carefully. You could hear something shift inside, giving in to the deft movements of Hange's hands as they twisted and turned the pick just the right way.Click, then click again.
"Done!" Hange said with a triumphant grin, and pushed down the handle. The door swung open easily, making short shrift of the fortress that was Levi's office.
"You're a gem!" You flung your arms around their neck.
"More like a crook who steals gems, now that you've made me your partner in crime," they said conspiratorially, waggling their brows.
You giggled. "Don't pretend I'm a bad influence! There's no way this was your first time after what I've just witnessed."
"Maybe I'm just a natural," Hange said, feigning innocence.
"Nice try, but I'm not buying it."
"Okay, okay," Hange said, hands raised in mock surrender. "You got me. I'm a total scoundrel."
You giggled again. "And I'm so glad for that – this totally saved my butt. But now I really need to hurry!"
"Good luck!" Hange gathered up the evidence of your crime and winked at you. "This will be our little secret." Then they set off in the direction of their lab, whistling a jolly tune.
You cracked your knuckles. The game was on again.
– –
An exquisite fragrance filled the room as you gently lifted the infuser from the new teapot, having allowed it just the right amount of time for the flavors to fully unfold.
You took a brief moment to admire your work – the desk was adorned with a lavender tablecloth, in the center of which perched the new tea set in all its elegant glory. It was surrounded by dainty little plates of tea biscuits you had baked this morning, all of them shaped like tiny Levi's with a unique pose or outfit. Soft, flickering candles were scattered between them, casting a warm, inviting glow. Behind the table you had hung a handmade paper garland, spelling out 'Happy Birthday, Levi!' in bold, purple letters.
"Perfect!" You clapped your hands and put on one of the silly birthday hats you'd crafted, emblazoned with 'Squad Levi' in bold, and 'today only' in smaller letters beneath. You'd told everyone to put it on around teatime, though you doubted most would actually go along with it. There were special versions for Petra and the rest of the squad, replacing 'today only' with 'for reals'.
You headed for the door with an excited grin. It was time to fetch the birthday boy – wouldn't want the tea to get cold.
You ripped open the door to Erwin's office, shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEVI!" at the top of your lungs.
A lot of heads turned your way – it wasn't just Levi in that room with Erwin. There was the entirety of his squad, and squad Mike, too. You gave them an awkward wave. A beat of silence passed. Then everyone started cheering and donning their birthday hats. You breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let's adjourn this until tomorrow," Erwin said, also putting on his birthday hat.
You couldn't believe your eyes. Levi seemed to feel the same way. "Not you, too," he mumbled, but there was an almost imperceptible quirk to the corners of his mouth. Petra and Lynne practically swooned at the sight. Oluo bit his tongue, trying to imitate him. Nanaba just rolled her eyes.
Amid the chaos, you grabbed Levi's wrist. "I need to show you something," you said, pulling him along with you.
"It's in here." You pulled open the door to his office.
"Thought I locked that," Levi muttered.
You didn't reply, a huge grin spreading across your face instead. Stepping aside, you made a grand, sweeping motion towards the table, eager for him to see the fruits of your labor.
"Ta-da! Do you like it?" Not giving him any time to respond, you immediately added, "It's a tea set. For you. Made from the finest porcelain of the most supreme quality. I'd know, since I was there when it was made. For a part of it, anyway. It was so much fun!"
With a bright smile, you handed him one of the cups. He held it by the rim in that strange way he always did, and turned it in his hands, quietly studying the design. You watched him intently. There was a subtle raise to his eyebrows, and his lips were slightly parted.
"This must've been expensive," he said finally, his gray eyes meeting yours.
"Maaybe...“ you said. "But do you like it?"
"Of course I do," he said matter-of-factly, his gaze still fixed on you. "Don't be stupid."
"Yay!" You jumped with delight. "I'm so glad you do! Totally worth every penny, then. Only the best for my fellow tea lover."
Levi snorted. You snatched the cup from his hands.
"Time for tea," you said, solemnly pouring the hot liquid into the cup.
"I made biscuits, too." You passed him one of the small plates. He glanced at them, his brow furrowed.
"They're you by the way," you said happily.
"...I can see that."
"Aren't they absolutely adorable?" You popped one into your mouth. "Mmm."
"Tch. I can't believe you just ate me," Levi said wryly.
"Sure did! And I'll have you know you were absolutely delicious."
He stared at you for a moment, then shook his head, letting out a dry chuckle. "Now that's just cruel."
You grinned. "Just try one, you'll see."
You selected a Levi in his cleaning get-up, wielding a tiny mob. "This one should clean your palate nicely." You chortled."Get it?"
Levi rolled his eyes. "After that shitty joke, I'll need something to clean my ears instead." But he ate the biscuit, anyway.
"That's so mean," you pouted. "It wasn't that bad."
"If you say so." Levi took a sip of his tea. His eyes widened. "That's... the tea from South Maria."
"Yep, you guessed it, just like I knew you would. A true connoisseur, through and through." You gave him a warm smile.
"But you only have so little of it," he murmured.
"True. That's why I saved it for a special occasion."
He huffed. "This hardly–"
You didn't even let him finish. "It's your birthday! If that's not a special occasion, then I don't know what is. Besides, there's no way I could've drunken it without you."
Levi set the cup down with a faint clink, then met your gaze, his eyes lingering on you just a little longer than usual. "Why?"
"Everything's more fun when you're around." You shrugged.
Something flashed in his eyes then, an involuntary flicker of something intense searing through his usual cool demeanor, but it was gone before you could fully catch it.
You suddenly felt a strange warmth spreading through you, not unlike the sensation of drinking hot tea, only it was in your chest. The unfamiliar feeling made you shift in your seat, unsure of its cause. You glanced up at Levi.
His mouth twitched, as though he might say something, but instead he just reached for his tea again. You took a sip of yours, too.
"Wow, it's even better than I thought! Out of this world delicious!" you exclaimed. The rich flavor encompassed your senses, and you closed your eyes to savor every last drop.
When you opened them again, Levi wore an expression you rarely saw on him. It was barely more than a subtle curve of his lips, but he was definitely smiling.
The warmth in your chest returned with a sudden lurch.
You absentmindedly brought a hand to your heart, bunching the fabric of your shirt in your fist.
"Right," you said, reaching behind you. "I made you a hat, too. You should put it o–"
"No."
"Didn't think so." You set the hat down on the table anyway. "I'll just put this here in case you change your mind."
Levi shot you a look that said everything: no chance in hell.
It made you giggle.
"Sooo... How do you like your birthday so far?" You clasped your hands under your chin. "I wasn't sure what you usually like to do on them, so I just kind of went with a tea party theme."
"Can't say I ever really celebrated my birthday before. So this is a first. But…" He paused, his gaze briefly softening. "It's… nice."
You couldn't help but smile, a wide grin forming on your face. "I'm so happy!"
"But don't think you won't have to clean this up later," Levi muttered.
"I know, I know." You both knew he'd end up helping, anyway.
A/n: Happy birthday, Levi! Thank you for giving me the motivation to start writing fanfic! (and to keep my place a little bit cleaner, lol.) Btw, I've also written a one-shot for LeviWeek, which will be out in a few days! Let me know if you wanna be tagged for it!
Tag list: @thechaoticarchivist, @mmm-alhaitham, @nironasaran, @leviiheichou, @huffleruffplant, @shutupp1, @iifrui, @shakysif, @ickearmn, @omlyurslvi
#levi ackerman#levi#aot#levi x reader#levi aot#captain levi#attack on titan#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman x reader#levi x you#levi x y/n#snk levi#shingeki no kyojin#snk#levi fluff#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction
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Hi hiiii! Okay so... I'm not quite sure if you accept like request and all but i enjoyed your vlog so much cause been craving for Gojo angst that hurts my heart and i love it 😭😭
And i have this idea... You know Toga Himiko right? So like i have this idea in mind where Gojo neglected the reader, like the bully fic you made? And so, in the end Gojo was like dyin (In his teens where he still didn't know RCT). Reader having the same power as Toga Himiko so yeah you know what happens next.
That episode ached my heart so much that i cried and i kinda wanna see it in Gojo x reader part. You don't have to make it just sayin my idea and all 😅
Omgg hello, you are actually the first person who requested to write something so ofc I will do it. I didnt continue watching MHA after season 2 so I might not capture Toga Himiko's quirk that well </3 but I still tried and hoping you will like it.
Note: it ended with a slight angst.
Past Wound That Will Never Change
The world had always been cruel to those who were different, and you learned that lesson early. Your cursed technique was rare, one that made people uneasy. By consuming the blood of others, you could take on their appearance and, to a degree, their abilities. It was powerful, yes, but it was also isolating. People whispered behind your back, called you a parasite, and avoided you like a curse waiting to manifest.
Gojo Satoru, of course, had been the worst of them all.
He wasn’t just cruel; he was relentless. With his unmatched abilities and natural charisma, he had no reason to think twice about how his words or actions might hurt you. To him, you were a joke, a walking anomaly he could poke fun at when life at Jujutsu High grew dull.
“You ever think about how creepy you are?” he’d say, his friends laughing along. “Like, do you just look at someone and think, ‘Wow, I wanna drink their blood’? That’s disgusting, man.”
The words stung every time. You tried to fight back, to pretend his insults didn’t matter, but he had a way of cutting deeper than anyone else. The more you tried to stand your ground, the more he mocked you.
“You’re not even a real sorcerer,” he said once, his voice dripping with disdain. “You just leech off of everyone else. What’s the point of keeping you around?”
No one defended you. Geto sometimes gave you a pitying glance, but even he didn’t dare go against Gojo. They were close friends after all. You were utterly alone, and every day felt like a battle you were losing.
It all came to a head during a mission gone wrong. You’d been sent out with Gojo and another student to exorcise a particularly nasty curse. Things had been going well until Gojo, confident as ever, underestimated the enemy. The curse turned its attention on you, nearly killing you in the process. You barely managed to survive, but when the dust settled, Gojo shrugged it off like it was nothing.
“You’re fine,” he said, his tone dismissive. “Stop being so dramatic.”
That was the moment something inside you broke. That night, you packed your things and left Jujutsu High without a word. If they thought you were a parasite, then so be it. You would survive on your own terms, far away from their judgmental eyes.
---
Years passed, and you became someone entirely different. The pain of your past hardened into a cold resolve. You used your cursed technique without restraint, earning a reputation as a rogue sorcerer. People feared you, and for the first time in your life, you felt powerful. You no longer cared about proving yourself to anyone. You lived by your own rules, taking what you needed and leaving destruction in your wake.
But fate had a twisted sense of humor.
You found him in the ruins of a cursed battlefield, slumped against a crumbling wall, his once-pristine uniform soaked with blood. Gojo Satoru, the untouchable, was dying.
He looked up at you with bleary eyes, his usual confidence replaced by something fragile.
“Figures,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “Of all people… it had to be you.”
You stared at him, your emotions a tangled mess of anger, bitterness, and something you didn’t want to name. He looked so different now—vulnerable in a way you’d never imagined. For a brief moment, you considered leaving him there. It would be poetic, wouldn’t it? Letting him die alone, just like he’d left you to fend for yourself all those years ago.
But you couldn’t do it.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” you said coldly, kneeling beside him. “I’m not doing this for you.
He didn’t respond, too weak to argue. His blood pooled around him, staining the ground a deep crimson. You bit into your hand, drawing your own blood, and then leaned down to press your lips to his wound. The metallic taste filled your mouth as your cursed technique activated, his power flooding into you.
It was overwhelming. For a brief moment, you were the strongest, the infinite possibilities of his Limitless technique unfurling in your mind. You used it to heal his wounds, channeling his power with a precision that surprised even you. When it was done, you pulled away, wiping your mouth as you staggered to your feet.
Gojo sat up slowly, testing his limbs. He looked at you, his expression unreadable.
“You saved me,” he said quietly.
“Don’t read into it,” you snapped. “If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have bothered.”
He frowned, guilt flickering across his face. “Why? After everything I—”
“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice sharp. “You don’t get to apologize. Not after what you did.”
He fell silent, his usual arrogance nowhere to be found. For once, he looked small, almost fragile.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was a fool back then. I didn’t—”
“Stop,” you said, your tone icy. “I don’t want your apology. I don’t need it. Just live with it, Gojo. Live with what you did.”
You turned and walked away, leaving him sitting there, his words hanging in the air. He didn’t try to stop you. He didn’t call after you. He simply watched as you disappeared into the distance, the weight of his guilt settling over him like a shroud.
---
Gojo recovered, but the encounter haunted him. He searched for you, hoping for a chance to make amends, but you were always one step ahead, always out of reach. The guilt of what he had done to you lingered, a constant reminder of his failures. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t fix what he had broken.
You, on the other hand, continued to live on your own terms. Saving him hadn’t changed anything. It hadn’t softened the bitterness in your heart or erased the scars he left behind. You didn’t forgive him, and you didn’t need to.
In the end, the past was a wound neither of you could heal. He was left to carry the weight of his guilt, while you carried the scars of his cruelty.
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Friendly Fire | 02
genre: jungkookxreader, jiminxreader, college!au, best friend!au
summary: You and Jungkook had been friends for quite some time, and it seemed like everyone around you could sense the spark between you. They noticed the playful banter and affectionate gazes he directed your way. However, you were completely oblivious to it all, thinking that your relationship with Jungkook was purely platonic. Little did you know, things were about to get complicated. Enter Jimin, who developed a crush on you. This unexpected turn of events stirred up some jealousy in Jungkook. What will happen next?
word count: 6518
warnings: lots of jealousy, jk is oblivious to his feelings but very flirtatious, can’t keep his hands to himself, exams😖, oc has a fear of failing, strict parents
authors notes: okay this took me foreverrrrr and i really need to start writing the other fics but im just so excited for this one.. hope y’all enjoyyyyyy. this was unedited and kind of rushed so ignore any errors, i hate skl so much its taking up most of my time sorry guys
series masterlist / previous / next
Jungkook drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he watched you disappear into your apartment. He let out a long sigh, shifting in his seat. Something about the whole night had left him feeling off. It wasn't that he liked you—he didn't. You were just Y/N, his friend. But still, the thought of you getting all flustered around Jimin, of Jimin flirting with you, had irritated him more than he'd expected.
He turned the key in the ignition, the quiet hum of the engine filling the car as he pulled away from your building and headed toward his place. His mind kept drifting back to the way Jimin had teased him, how he'd made it seem like Jungkook had some claim over you. That wasn't it. He didn't care if you dated someone, it wasn't his business. But someone like Jimin? One of his closest friends? That was a different story.
Jungkook wasn't protective over you in the romantic sense, but there was a boundary there, unspoken but important. He didn't want his friends getting involved with you. It wasn't jealousy—it was more like... discomfort. He would never get involved with any of your friends. He knew Jimin could be flirty, and the last thing Jungkook wanted was for things to get messy between you and his circle.
As he drove through the quiet streets, the city lights flickering past, he tried to shake off the feeling. You'd probably think he was being ridiculous if you knew how much he'd overthought the whole thing. But you were his friend—he just wanted to make sure you weren't getting mixed up in something that would hurt you later.
By the time he pulled up in front of his apartment, the tension in his chest had eased slightly. He parked, leaned back in his seat for a moment, and stared out at the dimly lit street. His phone buzzed in the center console, and he picked it up, glancing at the screen.
Jimin.
Jungkook rolled his eyes but smirked a little, knowing exactly what the call was going to be about. He hit answer and put the phone on speaker as he stepped out of the car.
"Hey, man," Jimin's voice came through, casual but with that familiar teasing edge. "Did you drop off our girl safely?"
Jungkook kicked the door shut and walked toward his building, shaking his head. "She's not our girl. And yeah, I did."
There was a pause, then a laugh from Jimin's side. "Come on, don't tell me you're still pissed about earlier. I was just messing around."
Jungkook sighed as he unlocked his apartment door and stepped inside, flicking on the lights. "I'm not pissed. Just—" He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. "I don't want you messing with her."
"Messing with her?" Jimin repeated, sounding amused. "Dude, I wasn't even serious. Y/N's cool, but I know you're protective of her."
"I'm not protective," Jungkook said quickly, dropping his keys onto the kitchen counter. "It's just... she's my friend. I don't want her getting involved with any of you guys and then having things go south."
Jimin chuckled, clearly not taking it as seriously as Jungkook. "Man, you're making it sound like I'm planning to date her or something. I was just having a little fun."
Jungkook frowned, leaning against the counter. "Yeah, well, I don't want her to get the wrong idea. She doesn't know you like I do. You flirt with everyone, and she might take it seriously."
There was a beat of silence before Jimin responded, his tone a bit more thoughtful now. "So what, you're saying she's off-limits?"
Jungkook let out a frustrated breath, trying to find the right words. "I'm not saying she's off-limits, I'm just saying... she's not like other girls you flirt with. She's—she's Y/N, okay? She's not into that kind of stuff."
"You sound like you're her big brother or something," Jimin teased, though his tone was more serious now. "Look, I get it. You're looking out for her. But, Jungkook, if you don't have feelings for her, why do you care so much if she ends up liking one of us?"
Jungkook froze for a second, caught off guard by the question. He hadn't really thought about it that way before. It wasn't like he had feelings for you, but the idea of you dating one of his friends—especially Jimin—just didn't sit right with him.
"I don't care if she dates someone," Jungkook said finally, his voice a bit tighter than he intended. "I just don't want her to get hurt."
Jimin was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Okay, okay, I get it. I'll back off. I didn't realize you were this serious about it."
Jungkook relaxed a little, relieved that Jimin was taking him seriously now. "Thanks, man. I just don't want things to get weird."
"Fair enough," Jimin agreed. "But you might want to figure out why you care so much, 'cause from where I'm sitting, it's looking a little sus."
Jungkook scoffed, rolling his eyes even though Jimin couldn't see him. "There's nothing sus about it. I just don't want things to get complicated."
"Whatever you say, bro," Jimin replied, clearly not convinced but willing to let it go for now. "Anyway, I'll catch you later. Try not to overthink it too much, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," Jungkook muttered, ending the call and tossing his phone onto the couch.
As he sat down, the conversation played over in his mind. He wasn't overthinking it—he was just being a good friend. Looking out for you. That's all it was.
Jungkook stretched out on his bed, tossing his phone back and forth between his hands, his mind finally starting to quiet down.
His phone buzzed, and he saw your name pop up on the screen. Smiling, he answered, putting it on speaker as he lay back on his pillows.
"Hey," he greeted, his voice casual.
"Hey, Jeon," you replied, sounding a little tired but upbeat. "You home?"
"Yeah, just got back a bit ago. You?"
"Yup, finally in bed," you said with a sigh. "You think Professor Kim is really gonna hit us with that pop quiz tomorrow? I saw him smiling way too much in class today. Suspicious."
Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. "He's definitely planning something. That guy enjoys watching us struggle."
You groaned dramatically. "Ugh, I'm so not prepared for that. I barely understood anything from last week's lecture."
"Did you even take notes?" Jungkook teased, knowing full well you tended to zone out in class.
"I did! Sort of...," you trailed off, and he could practically see you rolling your eyes. "I'll just copy yours tomorrow. You've got me, right?"
Jungkook laughed softly, the familiar ease of your conversations calming him down. "Yeah, yeah. I've got you. You always say that and then somehow ace the test anyway."
"Not without your help," you mumbled, and Jungkook could hear you settling deeper into your blankets, your voice getting softer.
"Anyways, you're coming to watch me play tomorrow right?" he perks up, trying to lighten the mood.
"There's no way I'd miss it."
He laughs, suddenly feeling giddy at the prospect of you coming to watch him. "Good, if you didn't come I would be sooo mad at you."
You giggle softly at that idea, Jungkook never gets mad, at least not at you. "Yeah, okay Kook." you teased, but your voice was trailing off, your exhaustion suddenly taking over.
Jungkook notices this, a soft smile playing on his face. "Alright, go to sleep. You're gonna need energy for that test tomorrow."
"Ugh, don't remind me," you mumbled, already half asleep. "Night, Jungkook."
"Night," he replied, waiting until he heard the soft click of the call ending before tossing his phone onto the bed beside him.
The next day, you and Jungkook found yourselves sitting in your usual spots near the back of the classroom, waiting for Professor Kim to start class. The room was buzzing with chatter, students exchanging notes and nervously talking about the possibility of a quiz. You were slouched over your notebook, flipping through pages, trying to cram in last-minute review, while Jungkook sat beside you, far too relaxed for your liking.
"You think we're actually getting that quiz?" you whispered, glancing over at him.
Jungkook smirked, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. "Oh, it's not just a quiz," he said, his voice low so only you could hear. "It's a full-on test. I saw him carrying in a stack of papers when I came in."
You groaned, dropping your head dramatically onto your notebook. "I'm so screwed."
Jungkook chuckled, nudging your arm with his elbow. "You should've studied with me."
"Don't even," you muttered, lifting your head just as Professor Kim walked in, shuffling the dreaded stack of test papers in his hands. Your stomach dropped.
"Good morning, class," Professor Kim announced with a suspiciously cheerful tone. "I hope you're all ready for today's test."
You glanced at Jungkook, who gave you a smug look, as if to say I told you so. You shot him a glare in return.
As Professor Kim passed out the tests, Jungkook leaned over slightly. "Just stay calm, Y/N. You'll be fine."
"I'll be calm when this is over," you whispered back, staring at the paper in front of you like it was a death sentence.
The room soon fell silent, except for the occasional shuffling of papers and the soft scratching of pens. You took a deep breath, flipping through the pages of the test, immediately feeling the pressure mount. The first few questions were doable, but by the time you hit the midpoint, it was like the words on the page were written in a foreign language.
You glanced over at Jungkook. He was scribbling away confidently, barely pausing as he moved through the questions with ease. Of course, he looked completely unbothered, like this was just another walk in the park. You could even see the faintest smirk playing on his lips.
Your eyes narrowed, and he must have felt your gaze because he glanced over at you, raising an eyebrow. When he saw the look of panic on your face, his smirk widened, and he gave a subtle shake of his head, clearly amused by your struggle.
You mouthed, "Help me!" exaggerating your expression for effect.
Jungkook chuckled softly, shaking his head again. He leaned slightly closer and whispered under his breath, "Just focus."
You rolled your eyes, going back to your test. But focusing was the last thing you could do. Every time you got stuck on a question, you'd glance over at Jungkook again, and every time, he was still breezing through the test, like he was taking a casual quiz and not a full-blown assessment. It was infuriating.
After a few minutes of watching you squirm, Jungkook finally tilted his paper just slightly, making sure only you could see the edge of it. It wasn't enough to give away the answers, but it was enough to show you the format, which was a tiny bit helpful.
You caught on immediately, shooting him a grateful look. He just winked at you, clearly enjoying the situation way too much.
The rest of the test dragged on painfully, and by the time you reached the last page, your brain felt like mush. Meanwhile, Jungkook had already finished and was lounging back in his chair, stretching lazily as if the test had been no big deal. He shot you another amused glance, raising an eyebrow as if to say, See? Easy.
You were dying to toss something at him.
Finally, Professor Kim called time, and you let out a long breath as you handed in your test. Jungkook was waiting for you at the door, his hands shoved into his pockets, an infuriating grin on his face.
"So," he said casually as you walked out of the classroom together, "how was it?"
You shot him a look. "You're enjoying this way too much."
He chuckled, nudging your shoulder lightly. "Hey, you're the one who didn't study."
"I was going to, but you didn't exactly offer to help," you shot back, still frustrated by how easy it had been for him.
"I told you to stay calm," he said with a playful grin, clearly unfazed by your annoyance.
You groaned again, but even you couldn't stay mad at him for long. It was classic Jungkook—breezing through everything with a smile on his face while you struggled just to keep up. And despite yourself, you couldn't help but laugh a little as the two of you walked down the hallway together.
"Next time, you're helping me study," you declared, glancing up at him.
"Deal," he said, his grin widening. "But only if you promise to take better notes."
You laughed, shaking your head. "I'm starting to think you enjoy watching me suffer."
"Maybe just a little," he teased, his eyes glinting with amusement.
As you and Jungkook made your way down the hall, the usual buzz of campus life surrounded you. Students were rushing between classes, chatting in groups, or buried in their phones, but you were still thinking about the test you'd just barely survived.
Jungkook, of course, was in a good mood, walking beside you with that annoyingly smug look on his face. Just as you were about to tease him about how much he was enjoying your misery, a familiar voice called out.
"Yo, Jungkook! Y/N!" Taehyung appeared, striding toward the two of you, his usual carefree grin plastered on his face. Jimin was right behind him, looking effortlessly cool as always.
"Hey," Jungkook greeted them, stopping in his tracks as they reached you. "What's up?"
Taehyung grinned, leaning against the lockers. "Just heading to class, but I saw you two and figured we'd say hi."
Jimin's eyes landed on you, his gaze lingering for a second longer than usual. He smiled warmly. "Hey, Y/N," he said, his voice smooth. "Heard you had a test, how'd it go?
You sighed dramatically, already feeling the weight of your grade pulling you down. "Oh, it was awful. I know I failed."
Jimin chuckled, stepping a little closer. "Really? I can't imagine you struggling with anything. You probably did better than you think."
You blinked, caught off guard by his words. Jimin was always friendly, but today there was a slight edge to it, something more than the usual casual banter. His eyes flicked to Jungkook briefly before landing back on you.
"I doubt it," you laughed, feeling a little flustered by the compliment. "But thanks for the confidence boost."
Jimin smirked, his eyes still locked on you. "Anytime."
Just then, Taehyung clapped Jungkook on the shoulder. "We're heading to the art building. Where are you guys off to?"
"I'm going to bio," you said, glancing at your phone to check the time. "It's across campus, though."
"I can walk you—" Jungkook starts, your gaze shifting towards him, but he immediately gets interrupted by Jimin's voice.
Jimin perked up, a slight glint of interest in his eyes. "Really? I'm heading that way too. I can walk with you, if you want."
You smiled, appreciating the offer. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
Before you could say anything else, Jungkook, who had been watching the whole exchange, nodded. "Alright, then. You guys go ahead," he said, his tone relaxed. "I'll catch you later, Y/N."
His easygoing attitude surprised you, but you figured he was just in a good mood after breezing through the test. He turned to Taehyung, and the two of them started walking in the opposite direction.
"Bye, Jungkook!" you called, waving after him. He shot you a quick wave without looking back, too busy joking around with Taehyung.
Jimin gave you a nod, gesturing for you to lead the way. "Shall we?"
You began walking at a comfortable pace, a comfortable silence settling down amongst the both of you. Or at least, you didn't mind the silence.
You could feel him glancing towards your face every so often, and when you turned to look, he just smiled innocently, turning his gaze straight ahead.
The silence started to grow awkward, until Jimin cleared his throat, as if preparing to bring up something he'd been thinking about for a while. "So.." he began, "Do you like Jungkook?"
Laughing at the absurdity of that idea, you meet his eyes once more, "What?" you said, your voice still laced with laughter. "No way, Jungkook's just a friend. Why would you ask that?"
Jimin smiled but didn't meet your eyes this time, running a hand through his hair, making him seem both casual but also nervous. "I don't know," he shrugged, he voice growing quieter. "It seems like he has a little crush on you. The way he looks at you, how he's always around you.."
You blinked, the idea catching you completely off guard. "No, me and him are just friends. He's like that with everyone." you replied, shaking your head firmly.
Jimin gave you a knowing smile, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Is he, though?" his tone was playful, but you suddenly grew irritated. You were sick of people assuming that someone had a crush on the other, or you were dating, when it was clearly not the case.
"He's like a brother to me, Jimin."
He chuckled, his gaze finally locking onto yours, his smile widening as he tilted his head. "A brother, huh?" he questions, never taking his eyes off you.
You scoff, rolling your eyes as you pick up the pace, leaving Jimin a little further behind.
He immediately picks up his pace too, catching back up to you. "Hey, relax, I'll drop it." his hand rests on your shoulder as his playful tone from earlier drops, his voice now laced with sincerity. "I was just joking, Y/N. I didn't mean to offend you."
"I know. I'm not offended." you mumble, trying to appear as unbothered as you can, your hands reaching to fumble with the straps of your bag.
"Okay," his hand drops from your shoulder, resting at his side once again. "Besides, even if Jungkook has a crush, it's not like you don't have other options." He finishes, quite obviously referring to himself.
You laughed again, the annoyance fading away ever so slightly. "I'll keep that in mind, Jimin. But for now I'm happy with being just friends."
He smirked, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "Fair enough. But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
Bio dragged on at a painfully slow pace. The steady tick of the clock became your only focus, each second pulling your attention away from the jumble of textbooks and papers spread across your desk. The classroom was unusually quiet today, so every sound created was amplified; the tapping and clicking of pens, the rustling of sheets of papers, the occasional murmur of whispered conversations.
Your leg bounced restlessly beneath the table, anxiety suddenly overcoming you. Not only were you struggling in chemistry, you were struggling in biology too. Your eyes wandered to the people in the class, who got on with their tasks with ease. Even with a textbook open in front of you, you were confused.
You sighed inwardly, frustration settling in. There's no one else to blame but yourself, of course. After all the times you zoned out in class, and never payed attention, how could you even expect to understand the basics? The realisation hit you like a wave, a reminder that when you go home, you'd have no choice but to study.
Eventually, the hour passed after a long time of blankly staring at the ticking clock. You immediately grabbed a hold of your belongings, stuffing them into your bag and throwing it over your shoulder before exiting the room. You let out a sigh, a yawn escaping your body. Right now, all you wanted to do was take a nap. Luckily for you, it was the end of the day, you could finally leave.
You suddenly felt nauseous, a sickening feeling bubbling within your stomach as you remembered how much you struggled in not one but two classes. The image of your parents disappointment haunted you as you stormed into your locker, yanking it open and tossing your books inside with more force than necessary. You slammed it shut, your frustration rising.
As you did so, Jungkook appeared out of nowhere to the right of your locker, his eyes fixated on you with scrunched up brows.
You sighed again, glancing once towards his face and again towards the exit. Your legs dragged you towards the huge doors, but Jungkook was quick to follow behind you.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" he walks up in front of you, gesturing towards his clothing. You noticed his attire from the morning was discarded, and instead replaced with the jersey he wore during his basketball games.
"Fuck, Kook, I completely forgot." you groaned, gripping your temples in frustration.
"Damn, Y/N. I reminded you everyday for the past week." His tone was serious, but you could catch the hint of a joke laced within his voice as he playfully shook his head.
It didn't take him long to notice your unusual state. Jungkook leaned forward, softly grabbing onto your shoulder with one hand while the other reached up to your cheek, gently rubbing his thumb across. "Whats wrong? You okay?" he asks, concern laced across his features.
"Nothing, I'm just tired." you admitted, although it wasn't the whole truth, it was still something.
His eyes look over your face, studying you. His hands now firmly rested on your shoulders. "You're a bad liar, Y/N. What happened? And tell me the truth."
"It's dumb."
"It's about that test, isn't it?"
You blinked in surprise. How did he know? You nodded.
"I'm sure you didn't do that bad," he reassured, squeezing your shoulders gently. "You're smart, Y/N. Cheer up." he playfully patted your cheeks, causing you to stifle a laugh, a smile forming on your face.
"Do you wanna go home?" he asked, his voice softening, a slight frown tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Well yes, but I wanna watch you play more." you say as his hands tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You noticed his expression brighten just a little at your words.
He grinned, moving to the side and ruffling your hair, messing it up again before then slinging an arm over your shoulder. "Come on then, we don't have much time," he says. "I'll win for you, don't worry."
You round the corner and make your way onto the court, where people are already seated and the teams are coming out of their rooms.
"JK, we're on, hurry up!" a voice calls, presumably another one of his members, he lets go of you and tells you to take a seat before running off into the court, but you don't miss how he looks towards you whenever he can, sending a smile your way, as if to make sure you were okay.
The game was intense from the start. The gym echoed with the sounds of sneakers squeaking against polished floors, the thud of the basketball hitting the court, and the excited cheers from the crowd. You sat in the bleachers, your bag shoved under your seat, feeling oddly at ease despite the earlier stress.
You found yourself sitting next to a girl who had been at the game last week, her face vaguely familiar. She wore a jersey that wasn't quite Jungkook's team colors, but she cheered loudly every time the ball changed hands.
"Hey, didn't I see you here last time?" she asked, leaning over slightly to talk. Her voice was warm, friendly, like someone who just knew how to make conversations less awkward.
"Yeah, probably," you said with a small smile, glancing at her. "I try to come to most of Jungkook's games."
"Ah, you're here for JK?" Her eyebrows raised, and there was a playful lilt to her voice. "Friend, girlfriend, or just a fan?"
"Friend," you clarified, though the heat rising to your cheeks betrayed the simplicity of that label.
She laughed, a soft chuckle that wasn't mocking but understanding. "Got it. I'm Soojin, by the way. I come to watch my cousin—he's on the other team, but don't tell anyone." She mimed zipping her lips.
You laughed a little at that. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you."
As the game went on, you and Soojin fell into a comfortable rhythm of conversation, punctuated by bursts of cheering and groaning whenever something exciting happened on the court. She was quick-witted and easy to talk to, and for the first time all day, you felt yourself genuinely relaxing.
"Okay, but Jungkook's insane, right?" Soojin said during a timeout, gesturing toward the court where Jungkook was wiping his face with a towel. "The way he just—" she mimicked a crossover dribble and a jump shot, "makes it look so effortless. Honestly, I'd trip over my own feet trying to do half of that."
You laughed, nodding. "Yeah, he's pretty crazy. He's been like that since we met, though. He's good at everything... it's honestly annoying sometimes."
Soojin raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You guys must be close, huh? That's cute. So, what's it like having Jeon Jungkook as your personal hype man?"
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't stop the small smile from forming. "It's chaotic, to say the least. He's super competitive, even outside of basketball. One time, we had this dumb bet over who could eat more tteokbokki, and—"
"Wait, let me guess," Soojin interrupted, grinning. "He demolished you, didn't he?"
You shook your head, laughing. "Nope. He thought he could out-eat me, but I totally won. He ended up lying on the floor groaning about how he was 'never eating again.'"
Soojin laughed so hard she nearly spilled her drink. "That's amazing. He doesn't seem like the type to lose, especially at something like that."
"Oh, trust me," you said, leaning in conspiratorially. "He's not. He demanded a rematch a week later. Still lost, though."
The two of you dissolved into laughter, the tension of your earlier frustration completely forgotten. You were so caught up in the moment that you almost didn't notice when the crowd suddenly erupted into cheers.
The score was neck-and-neck, and every pass, dribble, and shot was met with thunderous applause or groans of disappointment. You found yourself leaning forward, completely absorbed in the game despite your earlier indifference.
With less than a minute left on the clock, Jungkook's team had the ball. The crowd was on its feet, chanting and clapping as he darted past defenders with effortless precision. You held your breath as he leapt for a three-pointer just as the buzzer sounded.
The ball arced beautifully through the air before sinking through the net with a satisfying swish. The gym erupted into cheers, the sound deafening as Jungkook's teammates swarmed him in celebration. He raised his arms in victory, then turned toward the stands, his eyes locking onto yours. He didn't just smile this time—he winked.
"Oh my god," Soojin said, clutching her chest dramatically. "That was smooth. I'm swooning, and it wasn't even aimed at me. Are you sure you're just friends? Because the way he keeps looking at you..."
You shook your head, laughing but feeling that familiar warmth creep up your neck again. "He's so extra sometimes."
"Extra? Girl, that was a whole movie moment," Soojin countered. "You should be flattered."
At that moment, Jungkook jogged over to the sidelines, drenched in sweat but beaming with pride. He waved at you as he approached, clearly pleased with himself.
"Well? What'd you think?" he asked, leaning on the railing in front of the bleachers.
"You were decent," you said, trying to sound unimpressed.
"Decent?" he repeated, his eyes narrowing in mock offense. "That was a game-winning three-pointer. You should be bowing down right now."
"Don't push your luck, Kook," you teased, though your grin gave you away.
"You did okay," Soojin chimed in, smirking. "But I think Y/N's still more impressed by the tteokbokki story."
Jungkook frowned, his ears turning slightly pink. "You told her about that?"
"Of course," you said, laughing. "It's one of my best Jungkook stories."
He groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Great. Now she thinks I'm a loser."
"Not at all," Soojin said, winking at you. "It's kind of endearing, actually."
Jungkook peeked through his fingers, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the two of you. "Y/N, let's go before you embarrass me further."
You laughed, grabbing your bag and standing up. "Fine, fine. See you around, Soojin."
"Definitely," she said, giving you a knowing smile. "Oh, and Jungkook?"
"Yeah?" he said, pausing mid-step.
"Good game," she said, grinning. "But maybe work on that tteokbokki endurance."
Jungkook groaned again, dragging you toward the exit as you burst into laughter.
The cool evening air hit your face as you both left the gym, a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the crowded court. Jungkook still looked a little flustered, though he tried to play it cool, brushing a hand through his damp hair.
"I can't believe you told her about the tteokbokki thing," he muttered, shaking his head.
You smirked, bumping his arm lightly. "Oh, come on, it's a great story. Besides, you challenged me. What did you expect? For me to lose gracefully?"
"Gracefully? I expected you to lose, period," he quipped, shooting you a playful glare. "But apparently, you're hiding a black hole for a stomach. It's unfair."
He grumbled, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward in a reluctant smile. "Anyway, who was she? You seemed pretty chummy with her for someone you just met."
"Her name's Soojin. She's here to watch her cousin—apparently, he's on the other team. She's nice, though. Funny, too."
Jungkook shot you a look, his brows furrowing. "Wait, hold on. You were sitting next to someone rooting for the other team? And you didn't fight her?"
You snorted. "What am I supposed to do? Start a bleacher brawl? She wasn't obnoxious or anything. Plus, she said you're good. So, technically, she's on your side."
"She said that?" Jungkook perked up, his chest puffing out a little. "Well, I mean, she's not wrong."
You rolled your eyes. "Don't let it go to your head, Jeon."
The two of you strolled toward the bike racks, where Jungkook had locked up his old, slightly scuffed-up mountain bike. He grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder, then paused, looking at you thoughtfully.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked, his voice gentler now. "You seemed a little off earlier. Was it the test?"
The concern in his eyes made your stomach flip, and you hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "Yeah, the test sucked, and so did bio. I'll survive, though. No big deal."
Jungkook frowned, clearly not buying it. "Y/N, if it's stressing you out, let's do something about it. I'm serious."
You raised an eyebrow, smirking. "What, you're going to tutor me? You don't even know the difference between mitosis and meiosis."
"Hey," he protested, feigning offense. "I could learn! For you, anyway." He tilted his head, studying your face. "But right now, I'm thinking food might help more than biology. You eaten yet?"
Your stomach growled in response, betraying you instantly. Jungkook's grin widened.
"Thought so," he said. "Come on, let's go get something."
"Now? Aren't you supposed to celebrate with your team or something?"
"Celebrate what? Another win? Boring," he said, waving it off. "Besides, I'd rather hang out with you. Let's go."
Before you could argue, he unlocked his bike and gestured for you to hop onto the back. "I'll give you a ride."
"You're kidding," you said, eyeing the bike skeptically.
"Do I look like I'm kidding? Come on, I've done this a million times."
Reluctantly, you climbed onto the back, holding onto his shoulders for balance. "If I fall and break something, I'm suing you."
Jungkook laughed, his voice full of mischief. "Relax. I'm a pro."
Minutes later, you found yourself seated at a small street food stand, the warm glow of hanging lights illuminating the bustling night market. The smell of grilled meat, savory pancakes, and spicy tteokbokki filled the air, making your mouth water.
Jungkook ordered for both of you, insisting he knew the best dishes. When the food arrived, he slid a steaming plate of tteokbokki toward you with a smirk. "Round two?"
You burst out laughing. "You're kidding."
"Dead serious," he said, picking up a piece with his chopsticks and holding it out to you. "Unless you're scared?"
"You wish," you shot back, leaning in to take the bite. The spicy-sweet sauce burst across your taste buds, and you couldn't help the satisfied hum that escaped. "Okay, this is really good."
"Told you," Jungkook said, grabbing a bite for himself. "But don't get too comfortable. I'm winning this time."
The two of you dug in, the conversation flowing as easily as the food disappeared. Jungkook was in his element, cracking jokes and teasing you relentlessly, but there was a warmth beneath his playful banter that made your heart flutter.
At one point, he leaned in closer, his dark eyes catching yours in the soft light. "You know, I like this. Just... hanging out. No stress, no tests. Just us."
You felt your cheeks heat up, but you managed a teasing grin. "Are you getting sentimental on me, Jeon?"
"Maybe," he admitted, his smile turning softer. "What can I say? You bring it out of me."
For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade, the noise of the market dimming as you held his gaze. Then Jungkook broke the spell with a sudden grin. "But I'm still beating you at this tteokbokki challenge. Watch."
"Dream on," you said, laughing as you picked up another piece. The night stretched on, the stress of the day forgotten as you and Jungkook filled it with laughter, teasing, and just a hint of something more.
As the night wore on, the little food stall grew quieter, but your laughter with Jungkook only got louder. He was in rare form, his wit sharp, his expressions dramatic. Every time he popped another piece of tteokbokki into his mouth, he acted like it was some Herculean feat, groaning as though the spice might defeat him.
"You're such a baby," you teased, shaking your head. "It's not that spicy."
"Oh, says the queen of spice tolerance," he shot back, his voice muffled as he reached for his drink. "Not all of us are walking fire-breathing dragons."
"Dragons are cool," you said with a shrug. "Take it as a compliment."
He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand, his dark eyes sparkling with amusement. "You know, Y/N, you've got a weird way of flirting."
Your chopsticks froze mid-air, and you nearly choked on your own saliva. "Flirting?" you sputtered, your voice jumping an octave. "Who said I was flirting?"
"Not me," he said smoothly, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. "But if you were, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
You stared at him, trying to gauge if he was being serious or just messing with you. His expression gave nothing away, though the slight tilt of his head and the way his gaze lingered on your face made your heart race.
"Well, don't hold your breath," you shot back, trying to sound unaffected. "You're not that special."
"Ouch," he said, clutching his chest dramatically. "Here I am, taking you out, feeding you, carrying this entire night with my charm, and this is the thanks I get?"
"Carrying the night?" You snorted. "You're delusional. If anything, I'm the one entertaining you."
He grinned, leaning back in his chair as if to concede. "Fine, we'll call it even. But seriously," his tone softened, his playful demeanor giving way to something more sincere. "I'm glad we did this. You seemed so stressed earlier, and it's nice to see you smiling again."
You felt a pang of warmth at his words, his genuine concern breaking through the teasing façade. "Thanks, Kook. I needed this," you admitted, surprising even yourself with how honest you sounded.
"Well, you've got me," he said, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Whenever you need to forget about the world—or just eat your weight in tteokbokki—I'm your guy."
You smiled, unable to help the way your heart seemed to flip at his words. "Careful, Jeon. You keep saying sweet things like that, and people might think you're trying to charm me."
"Trying?" He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward again with a wicked grin. "Y/N, I don't need to try."
The heat in your cheeks betrayed you, but you refused to let him see you flustered. "Wow, your confidence is unmatched. Maybe you should focus less on flirting and more on finishing your plate," you said, gesturing to the food in front of him.
He laughed, grabbing his chopsticks again. "Fine, but don't think you're off the hook. I'm keeping track of how much you've eaten. We're still in competition mode."
"Oh, please. I already won," you retorted, taking another bite to prove your point.
The banter carried on, light and easy, as the plates slowly emptied. By the time the last piece of tteokbokki was gone, you both leaned back in your chairs, letting out identical groans of satisfaction.
"I think I've reached my limit," you said, patting your stomach dramatically. "I might actually regret this tomorrow."
"Regret?" Jungkook scoffed, reaching for his drink. "This is the opposite of regret. This is living." He took a sip, eyeing you with a teasing grin. "Admit it—you're impressed by my ability to pick the perfect late-night spot."
You gave him a look, smirking. "Impressed? Not quite. But I'll give you points for good taste."
"Wow, tough crowd," he said, shaking his head with mock disappointment. "Fine, next time, you pick the place. But don't forget, you owe me now."
"I owe you?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "For what, exactly?"
"For saving you from your stress-induced meltdown," he replied with a grin. "And for treating you to this gourmet feast."
You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop the smile creeping onto your face. "Fine. I guess I do owe you. But don't let it go to your head, Jeon."
"It's already there," he said, tapping the side of his head.
The two of you stood, Jungkook grabbing the tray of empty plates to return to the stall owner. As he turned back to you, his hoodie sleeves pushed up to reveal his forearms, he cocked his head slightly.
"You good to walk home, or do you need me to carry you?" he teased, but his voice held a hint of genuine concern.
"I can manage," you replied, brushing off his offer.
"Sure about that?" he asked, stepping closer with a playful grin. "You look like you're one wrong step away from rolling down the street."
You smacked his arm lightly, laughing. "Don't push your luck."
The two of you started down the street, the cool breeze brushing against your skin. The city had quieted down, leaving only the faint hum of streetlights and the occasional distant chatter of other late-night diners.
"You're not in a rush to get back, are you?" Jungkook asked casually, glancing over at you.
You shook your head. "Not really. Why?"
He hesitated for a second, then shrugged. "Figured you might want to hang out a little longer. My place isn't far from here."
Your heart skipped at the casual invitation, though he said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Your place?"
"Yeah," he said, his tone light but his gaze steady. "It's nothing fancy, but I've got snacks, a comfy couch, and a killer view from the balcony. You can unwind for a bit before heading home."
You hesitated, glancing up at him. There was no pressure in his expression, just a quiet sincerity that made it impossible to say no.
"Okay," you said finally, smiling. "Lead the way, Jeon."
His grin widened, and he reached out, giving your hand a quick tug to follow him. "Prepare to be amazed. Or, you know, mildly impressed."
taglist: @blackswan446 @tesfayera @rrosiitas (comment/msg to be added)
#bts#bts x reader#jungkook ff#jikook x reader#jimin ff#bts college au#college au#park jimin#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jimin x reader#jungkook x reader
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Are You A Video Gamer??? (Looking for Beta Testers)
Okay so if you've known me for some time you might've heard I am married to someone who is, among many other things, a really cool and capable indie game developer. My wife Riley has finally declared themselves in beta for their dice-based rougelike Astragali, and they could really use some more beta testers to get it to a solid finished product.
For those unfamiliar, a rougelike is a style of game built upon procedurally-generated levels that make it so every run is fresh. You die a lot, but you also have the capacity to get ridiculously powerful with a few smart choices. Think of games like Hades or The Binding of Issac, only this is a far shorter play experience that my wife says can be beaten in around a half hour.
Astragali is a darkly-atmospheric, low-poly dream where you find yourself playing round after round of a dice game that - at first - seems deceptively simple. Only something's not right. You're in a liminal space where everything is simultaneously jarring and oddly stagnant. Who are these people? Why do they keep playing? Why do you keep playing - and what will happen once you finally win?
Some dice are just a plain d6, and others like a coin with two sides. But with some dice, the smaller numbers actually double your score. Or the dice might be stronger if you keep them in your hand and never play them at all. There are even dices that increase your score depending on how many of your opponents dice you take your turn to destroy. You have a lot of power at your disposal, a strategy that can change depending on what you have access to - but so does the person you're playing against.
But they don't seem to care, do they? They keep lining up, and yet none of this really seems to matter.
Astragali is fresh in beta, meaning the developer is mainly looking for vibes. They've created a short feedback survey for anyone looking to download the game and go through it. I wouldn't say the bar to entry is very high in regards to skill - I am pretty bad at a lot of video games and I am able to pick it up and enjoy it. I actually love it. It's a great way to have a sort of eerie, horror-adjacent gaming experience without jumpscares or graphic content. It's a very cool experience with a few surprises for the player to find, and I would love for Riley to get the insight they need from a larger sample size so they can release the game in the next few months.
Interested? Comment below or DM me for the link to the file! It's a small .exe that runs on my Lenovo Yoga no problem.
Support indie gaming support my wife come on man be cool
#indie games#pc gaming#game dev#rougelite#rougelike#riley and i can't decide which is more right but riley says if people don't think it's a true rougelike they get angry
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gonna ramble about charlie and auron because i just got out the premiere and. holy shit.
if I'm way off base on my analysis i am so sorry, im still processing, these are just my initial thoughts on stuff. and if you disagree id love to discuss it!
okay so first things first i screamed a LOT. I was so relieved when Charlie said he wasn't mad at Cas [i would've cried probably]. Auron made some truly wild comments. case in point: "I would probably slap the taste out of your mouth if it wouldn't mean getting you all hot and bothered just in time for Casper to drop me off at the office, pull into the parking garage, and fuck some goddamn sense into you." I YELLED OMFG auron. you can't just SAY shit like that. Then the Disney princess line. Charlie sounded so weak when he said "can we go back to that part about 'Casper fucking some sense into me'??" And Auron answering with "Not until I'm outside of the vehicle. You'll have to find someone else to watch." AURON. STOP PLEASE IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK FROM LAUGHING
alright moving on from that let's get to the serious shit. Charlie is justified to be angry about Auron interfering in his personal life; it ISN'T a healthy way to interact with people, whether you want to befriend them or not. Auron orchestrated this whole scheme because he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, and you know what? I get it. He doesn't know what normal is, and it's not really his fault that he doesn't know. But he can at least try? Wikihow is free, brother /lh
Charlie wanted a fresh start. He wanted to disconnect from the dangerous world that Auron is a participant in, he wanted to earn his own way in the world, earn a bit of self damn respect like he deserves. Auron undermined all that, despite his good intentions. He lied, big time. And that's kinda shitty and not okay!
Was it about control? Keeping a hand on loose ends, like Charlie thinks? Auron just wanted to "protect him", right? Well, as someone who has had much of their life controlled by people who ALSO just wanted to "protect" me, that's a very weak excuse for taking away someone's agency. Now, our situations aren't exactly the same. Auron is not Charlie's parents [THANK GOD] and there actually some things Charlie isn't aware of that he needs to be protected from! But this was not the move. Like.. at all.
What's my solution? I dunno. But maybe don't force all these things to happen. Perhaps send an email rather than getting your guy to hunt down your former employee's childhood friend/crush and sneakily reunite them behind his back? Or at least try the email first, Auron. Charlie calling Auron out on playing pretend, "just writing one of your little stories"... ouch. But does he kinda deserve that? Yeah. I think so.
[Side note: Charlie talking about how if he'd sought out Cas on his own terms, it would've worked out because they fall in love every time? "Because that's where I'm supposed to be." I. fucking. fell over. I had to fucking BITE something omg. Yeah im biased in this argument sorry lol, i definitely have a favorite here]
HOWEVER: Auron admits that he was wrong! He is not an unrepentant man and he DIDN'T double down! That is a big point in his favor imo. He doesn't actually say "sorry" but he uses a lot more words to mean something... similar? I guess that's a fanfic writer's way. I get it, I also elaborate way too much. So, an actual clear cut "Charlie, I'm sorry I fucked with your life behind your back just because I wanted to be friends with you" would've been nice. But this will do for now.
Also Charlie you REALLY need to watch out for Finn that guy is a freakkkkk he will fuck you up big time. Not normal Finn. The magic one.
Okay I'm done typing whatever pops into my head with the barest pretense at organization lmao, I'll revisit this in time once my thoughts marinate a little more
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...sooo yeah, I've seen a lot of posts about "tiktok therians" and also younger therians in general and I might as well get my two cents about it out here.
Short version: leave them alone; if they bother you that much then block them and move on instead of wasting your energy
Long version: Loud sigh... I feel like I might get some hate for this, but I might as well get it off my chest sooner or later.
Look, I get it, people are frustrated with how things are being watered down, but please think before you cause needless damage. What if, instead of your teacher correcting your answers on a quiz or test, they just insulted you, ignored you, and kicked you out of class? Not only would you not learn anything, but you'd probably end up disliking the teacher, if not developing a dislike for the subject they taught as a whole (as younger crowds tend to do). I've seen this happen in LGBT+ spaces and it saddens me to see it here, too.
Doesn't anyone else remember what it's like to be a teenager, exploring your identity, exploring concepts of the world in general, learning things, growing and maturing as a person? People get stuff wrong and misuse terms ALL. THE. TIME. Especially when young! That doesn't mean that some of them policing terms and identities is okay, of course; I don't blame anyone for taking a stand when it comes to that.
It's important to ensure that misinformation doesn't spread, of course. And that isn't done with gatekeeping and rage; it's done with compassion and patience. Not everyone is built for that sort of thing, of course; I'm not saying everyone out there needs to have the patience of a saint to correct people when they get certain alterhuman-related concepts or terms incorrect. Just know that being a bully on any level, no matter the excuse, will cause more harm than good.
"But it's the only way they'll learn!" No. Those are the words of someone who is letting their frustration and anger guide their actions. Maybe some people will need that kind of kick in the rear, but that should never, ever, ever be the action of choice. To be fair, I might be biased in this regard; my abusive guardian used that excuse all the time to make me do things because she didn't fully understand how my neurodivergence affected me. As a result, every time I see/hear anything similar to that, I'm strongly against it because it only reminds me of the bullying I endured.
Those who have been in this space for a while need to be welcoming to newcomers, willing to point to resources on some level, but still be firm in their boundaries in case someone decides to start trouble. Gatekeeping is not the answer and will never be the answer; the only thing it does is make the whole community look bad while ultimately causing damage. Of course, if you don't have the spoons to deal with any of this, then just block and move on. don't waste your energy on something you know isn't going to do you any good.
Those who are new to the space NEED to do their research from older, more established sources instead of only defining things in a way that they prefer. Things are going to exist in ways that don't make you the most comfortable, but you have the tools to keep that out of your space and you should absolutely make use of them.
I think everyone needs a reminder here that You are in charge of you. If something upsets you, it's your responsibility to block the appropriate people, set up the appropriate filters, whatever you need to do to make your space safe. If you claim an identity, you should at the very least know what it means and refrain from trying to needlessly police it.
And, I say this as a sex-repulsed asexual: sexual things are going to exist in every single space, be it an identity, fandom, hobby, whatever. It's not inherently bad, but it's certainly okay to not like it and it certainly shouldn't be aimed at minors. Set up your filters, block as needed, and move on. (And if you're the one posting NSFW stuff, tag it or otherwise mark it appropriately.)
If you're coming to tumblr from Tiktok, welcome! I hope you can find a safe space here. If you're a minor, please remember to practice basic internet safety. Don't share your age or location, don't show your face (masks are great for this!), be careful who you talk to, etc.
Please, don't fight each other. Educate each other and stand together. The world is a scary place; we don't need to add more bickering where it could be avoided. And we certainly don't want to alienate people who don't need to be.
(Obligatory disclaimer because this is the internet: please remember to use common sense and critical thinking; I'm not going to tolerate any logical fallacies. I don't have the patience for that.)
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Sometimes you really just have to let people be mad at you.
I've known several people with anxiety, RSD and other personal hurdles that lead them to be super aware of tone changes and anything that may hint at a person being angry or upset at them. A lot of those relationships didn't end very well, but hey- my heartbreak can be your learning opportunity! (This is especially important if you know you have a tendency to overthink relationships)
It's okay to just let the other person be mad at you!
Here's a story that's happened to me a few times. Someone meets me, becomes my friend and everything is great until one day I suddenly change. I give them a weird tone or I don't respond like I usually do. I must be angry at them. They ask if I'm angry at them. I say no. They aren't convinced. Every time they ask me, I tell them I'm fine. They don't know how to make me tell them what's bothering me. I become more distant every time they ask. Finally it comes to a head and they're convinced I hate them and they've ruined the entire relationship by being a terrible person.
Meanwhile, on my side of things, we're both enjoying life until one day out of the blue they ask if I'm angry at them. I have no reason to be angry at them. I say no. They continue to ask over and over again, each time getting reassurance that I'm not angry. It comes to a point where I'm pretty sure I must be doing something to upset them, but I have no idea what. We both become convinced the other person hates us.
If you ever feel stuck in this kind of situation, please try to just let it go. When you ask 'are you mad at me' and they say 'no'- take it as a no! You might not be as good at reading emotions as you think you are. Me personally? I have trouble expressing my emotions- especially over text. But for some reason, telling them that didn't help. They were convinced that they knew how I felt and that I was lying about not being angry.
So if you ask someone 'are you mad at me?' And they lie and tell you 'no'... that's a them problem. Either they don't want to push the issue OR they actually aren't upset at all. Either way, they won't want you to keep asking. If they're mad, let them be mad. They'll get over it easier if you don't keep bringing it up.
They're a big, mature person who can make their own emotional choices and can pick their own battles. If they AREN'T mature enough to deal with their emotions in a healthy way, then forcing them to keep addressing those issues is only going to upset both of you!
You don't need to face their feelings for them. They don't need to admit their frustration with you. If they're hiding their own feelings, then it's usually out of kindness. You don't need to know every single time someone is mad at you. That sounds like torture. Your friends don't want to torture you.
If you keep asking and pushing, then when you do finally upset them, they won't feel safe telling you because you've convinced them you're emotionally needy and can't handle negative feedback. Even if you're just trying to be mature, you can end up convincing them of the opposits.
Your relationships are going to develop their own spoken and unspoken rules over time, but a good rule of thumb is: ask once. If you REALLY think they're being dishonest with you, ask again, making it clear that you just want to make sure you haven't done anything wrong. If they insist they're fine, then they're fine. Move on.
It might be hard to just take someone's word for it and it feels like open communication may be the only way to keep a healthy relationship, but sometimes you need to have a little faith in your friend. Sometimes you need to be able to let sleeping dogs lie. If it's important enough for them to tell you, trust them to tell you.
Don't overcommunicate your friendships to death.
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I wanna ride Satan or Andrealphus until they cry that's it that's the ask
There's just something about such powerful demons being submissive that make me froth at the mouth </3
Yessss anon I get you, either to have them willingly submit to you or pretending to put a bit of a struggle is such a delicious thought T-T
I don't think they'd play difficult though, I see Satan being like "okay, handle it yourself from here" if you want to ride him so badly, being all cocky at first And one would think that with him being so powerful it would take a lot to make a mess of him, but actually he's turned into a whiny thing the moment you sink on his cock and clench tight. Before that, even, all flustered if you're suckling and nibbling on his nipples as you grind yourself on him slow.
Time doesn't move as you fuck yourself on him, use him like a toy- if you tie his hands up so he can't even touch you Satan gets frustrated a little quicker, angry, needy tears welling up his eyes real soon, begging you to fuck him faster, give him anything so he can cum.
With Andrealphus it's more about the trust to me? Like...having him who is so guarded and reserved letting you take charge like that and have him in such a vulnerable state. He exists for you though, there's so much pain in his life that if there's anything positive, anything that brings him joy and pleasure and good things it's you and he wants you in any way, and laying himself in bed for you to literally have your way with him is meaningful and not just for fun imo!!
He wants you to take your time too, he wants you to make him sob, but I reckon it might happen sooner from overstimulation than frustration?
Toy and play with him, with his cock, edge him and then fuck yourself on him hard until he's coming undone, until he goes limp, and then do it again, and again, until he's dry, sobbing and begging not for you to stop, but to keep going even though it aches, his dick swollen and still so needy for you even though there's nothing more to give......
#honestly..... i have satans bath card and i just want to sestroy that ass until hes sobbing uhmmm#hehe#what in hell is bad#whb smut#what in hell is bad smut#whb satan#whb andrealphus#asks
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