kryptyk-dreams

[kryptyk-dreams]

"I know you're a singer." He shrugged, sitting across from Ben in the alleyway. Setting his guitar bag down and leaning his back against the wall, he sighed and allowed himself to relax.

"Besides, the music industry is ruthless. Gotta look out for each other, so...what's got you down?"

Exhausted eyes stared blankly at the graffiti-covered wall before them, the artist’s thoughts far from the present moment. The feeling had been nagging at him all day, he’d waved it off as much as he could, but there wasn’t any more he could do. No distractions to seek out, no conversations to busy his mind. Only his thoughts, only their words. Poisonous.

“ … ”

The thoughts grew louder. This had all been a mistake. He was only delaying the inevitable, and once they finally found him and dragged him back home, all of that building anger would be unleashed onto him. He was only making it worse. He never should have left. He could have stayed, kept them happy, kept Grace happy, kept himself from harm. But no, here he was, chasing a dream that hurt everybody around him. He was an idiot to even try.

Ben curled in on himself, hiding away. Stinging tears were blinked back, not given the right to fall. He couldn’t be so pathetic.

[kryptyk-dreams]

"Hey, you good?"

A young man around Ben's age approached him. He had long dark brown hair and wore a black band shirt a size or two too big along with baggy ripped jeans with several embroidered patches sewn on and black sneakers. With a guitar bag slung over his shoulder, Ben could guess that he was part of a band of his own.

His brow was furrowed in concern, but his tired eyes and voice made him look and sound indifferent and maybe even annoyed.

Exhausted eyes stared blankly at the graffiti-covered wall before them, the artist’s thoughts far from the present moment. The feeling had been nagging at him all day, he’d waved it off as much as he could, but there wasn’t any more he could do. No distractions to seek out, no conversations to busy his mind. Only his thoughts, only their words. Poisonous.

“ … ”

The thoughts grew louder. This had all been a mistake. He was only delaying the inevitable, and once they finally found him and dragged him back home, all of that building anger would be unleashed onto him. He was only making it worse. He never should have left. He could have stayed, kept them happy, kept Grace happy, kept himself from harm. But no, here he was, chasing a dream that hurt everybody around him. He was an idiot to even try.

Ben curled in on himself, hiding away. Stinging tears were blinked back, not given the right to fall. He couldn’t be so pathetic.

[kryptyk-dreams]

Pico smiled and entered the room, noticing the musty air.

"Got really in the zone, huh?" He said, setting down the plate and cup of water down at an uncluttered part of Ben's desk, not too far from his easel and canvas.

"I'm surprised you don't get lightheaded while working or anything."

Brows were raised in a content, almost peaceful sort of expression as brush made thoughtful strokes along paper, the focused eyes of the artist not leaving the work-in-progress for even a moment as he concentrated on every last addition to the piece. Had he blinked even once in the past few minutes? Probably not, and he certainly hadn’t stopped to drink or eat for a while, either.

[kryptyk-dreams]

Ben's room was silent. It's been a while since they finally moved into an apartment.

Small little plants decorated the window sill, there because Pico had always worried about how stuffy the room got when Ben worked for hours without stopping.

The smell of paint was thick. It probably would've been a good idea to open the window, but Ben was too focused to realize.

At least, not until he heard a knock at his door.

"Hey babe. I made you somethin' and got you a glass of water. Mind if I come in?"

Pico had been making it a habit to bring Ben food and water periodically. A way to make sure he was eating and getting hydrated. He even learned how to cook since they had a stove now, and he wanted to make Ben food that he'd enjoy.

Brows were raised in a content, almost peaceful sort of expression as brush made thoughtful strokes along paper, the focused eyes of the artist not leaving the work-in-progress for even a moment as he concentrated on every last addition to the piece. Had he blinked even once in the past few minutes? Probably not, and he certainly hadn’t stopped to drink or eat for a while, either.

[kryptyk-dreams]

His voice was slowly getting...clearer.

"...I...hurt...struggled..."

Pico gently squeezed Ben a little tighter, his arms regaining their strength despite the decayed form he appeared to have.

"....you...saved me...blue..."

Ben could see something latched onto the back of Pico's neck. It looked like...a crab? Or maybe it was a bug. It was hard to tell. It didn't look frightening, but it seemed to be hurting him.

[ @soulchannels Prompt: Nightmare, Character: Pico ]

Something... wasn't right.

Pico felt cold. He was twitching. Shaking. Turned away from Ben as if to hide something.

meme.

“ …Pico-? ”

Ben’s voice seemed to echo all around him, as did the artist’s footsteps as he stepped closer to his turned-away beloved. The surroundings were strange, familiar, and yet vague enough to not be placed. Dreamlike. Not that he’d have noticed, worried eyes didn’t leave Pico’s twitching form for even a moment.

“ …You’re shaking, what’s wrong-? You can tell me… ”

[kryptyk-dreams]

Pico opened his eyes. He was a light sleeper, so if anything was wrong he'd be the first to know. Seeing Ben's distressed expression, he could tell he was having a nightmare.

"Ben." He spoke softly, rubbing his back as he hugged him. "It's ok. I'm here." --- Pico groaned softly, leaning into Ben as his arms loosely wrapped around him. The buzzing oddly seemed to ease a little, and though he was supposed to feel cold, it got...warmer.

The mutterings from him were barely words at all, but Ben could tell that they were trying to comfort him.

It felt...oddly bittersweet, the buzzing slowly muffled out as they held each other. The stench faded for something more stale, like a room sealed away after years of unuse.

[ @soulchannels Prompt: Nightmare, Character: Pico ]

Something... wasn't right.

Pico felt cold. He was twitching. Shaking. Turned away from Ben as if to hide something.

meme.

“ …Pico-? ”

Ben’s voice seemed to echo all around him, as did the artist’s footsteps as he stepped closer to his turned-away beloved. The surroundings were strange, familiar, and yet vague enough to not be placed. Dreamlike. Not that he’d have noticed, worried eyes didn’t leave Pico’s twitching form for even a moment.

“ …You’re shaking, what’s wrong-? You can tell me… ”

[kryptyk-dreams]

There was a slight gurgling sound coming from his trembling boyfriend as the man before him slowly turned to face Ben. An involuntary chill ran through his body, and in that moment he wished he could look away. Emptied out eye sockets stared back at him, thick and congealed blood oozing down Pico's freckled cheeks as he shakily breathed. His skin was inhumanly pale, soft and past the stage of rigor mortis.

The sound of flies buzzed loudly in Ben's ears.

[ @soulchannels Prompt: Nightmare, Character: Pico ]

Something... wasn't right.

Pico felt cold. He was twitching. Shaking. Turned away from Ben as if to hide something.

meme.

“ …Pico-? ”

Ben’s voice seemed to echo all around him, as did the artist’s footsteps as he stepped closer to his turned-away beloved. The surroundings were strange, familiar, and yet vague enough to not be placed. Dreamlike. Not that he’d have noticed, worried eyes didn’t leave Pico’s twitching form for even a moment.

“ …You’re shaking, what’s wrong-? You can tell me… ”

[kryptyk-dreams]

"There's still one attending." Marilyn glared. "He fooled you, didn't he?" She gently caressed his cheek, rubbing it with her thumb.

"I'm sorry Benjamin. But I can't in good conscience let you attend that school anymore."

Her words sounded too light. Though Ben wasn't sure, it almost sounded like part of that was a lie.

"We can stay. You can still visit Grace. But we will have to home-school you. This is final."

And there it was. The strike on Ben's poor heart, a devastating poison in it as the realization that he wouldn't see Pico every weekday anymore dawned on him.

continued, with @soulchannels

Dark eyes looking up to his mother as she pulled away and finally ended that tension-filled hug, and despite her seeming to understand his point, Ben felt something within him churn as his gaze met that unreadable, neutral expression. It was as if that something was trying to hide away, trying to protect itself from the predator that had found it. He felt the fear of that something, felt his chest flutter, and yet he remained where he was. There wasn’t any escaping this conversation, not when his mother was acting like this. She was unreadable, he couldn’t truly tell what was coming next, and something about that was nauseating.

His mother’s words were purposeful, digging at that horrified part of the boy that had hidden away in the janitor’s closet while his fellow students ran for their lives, while Pico fought for their lives. Not that she would know that part, nobody seemed to believe him when he told them. Dryly swallowing, the Fairest son bowed his head, unable to continue to hold eye contact with his mother. He couldn’t cry, he knew this, and yet her words were almost trying to draw those panicked tears from him. Hoping for a reason to act.

“ I-It was, I-…I heard it all. It was horrible. But…But I’m safe, and- and the shooters were stopped, they…they won’t do anything like that again. ”

[kryptyk-dreams]

"Well, they're just rumors, but...I heard you had to go to the doctor after having an episode of something..." BF spoke nervously, not sure if it was alright to pry. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I just wanna let you know that it's what I heard."

Though they were broken up, it was already evident enough that BF cared about Pico. The way they rapped together, the food that he brought, and the fact that he decided to stay after being invited inside was enough proof of that.

“You're too forgiving, Blue.” It was a shitty thing to do, and he knew this. Boyfriend knew this, it wasn't like they weren't the only ones going through the shooting. Instead of being a support, he instead cut ties to isolate, which he deeply regrets.

Eh?“ White eyes snap to the taller. ”What do ya' mean? What have they been sayin'?” As well as who had been saying this, but the redhead was careful to not enclose too much information. More so to not worry him, especially since they are on unknown ground here.

[kryptyk-dreams]

"Hm...You do make a fair point." She said as she parted the hug, looking at Ben with a neutral expression.

Though from the outside it looked like there was nothing to it, she was unreadable when she looked like this. It unsettled Ben's heart, like his heart was about to be pounced on by a snake that he couldn't see.

"But school here is too dangerous, sweetheart. You know we can't have you getting hurt." She gently stroked his hair.

She was getting somewhere. Trying to convince him of an idea.

"Was it not terrifying? The screams? The gunshots?"

continued, with @soulchannels

Tension was rising, it was rising fast, and Ben’s heart pounded similarly quickly. Shallow breaths were taken in an effort to calm himself down, unable to manage deeper ones, and yet the irate glare of his mother set that panic off despite his efforts. For a moment, all Ben could do was stare with those wide, panicked eyes, until he attempted to give that reason Marilyn had demanded, even as his voice shook.

“ G-Grace is my friend, I— I love her as my friend, I don’t want to leave her, it’ll hurt her— I-I can’t just leave, I can’t go to a whole new city, I can’t— I-I’m grateful for everything you and dad do but I can’t leave the place I’ve been all my life behind-! ”

Heart pounding, voice breaking, the bluenette recoiled and his eyes were screwed tightly shut to prevent welling tears from falling. All the same, the emotions he felt were just as strong, and he couldn’t hide them. He couldn’t leave this city, not yet, he couldn’t leave the few people that cared for him, that made him feel safe and welcome. To be in a whole new place, with only his parents as familiar faces to guide him, it sounded suffocating. He couldn’t go back to square one, he was only now beginning to find his voice at all.

[kryptyk-dreams]

I had my first nightmare in a while.

Zombies. Again.

Benjamin furrowed his brow, hugging himself as he sat up.

Pico was asleep next to him.

Ben looked around the cheap motel room. It didn't do much to ease his nerves.

Putting on a black jacket over his hoodie, he decided to step outside.

It was just before sunrise, birds chirping as they were waking up from the brightening sky.

Zombies. Of all things to have a nightmare of.

He's heard that it symbolized being nervous about something.

If that was the case, then when was he never nervous? Why does it show up now when they're doing a little better?

He felt his heart rate increase ever so slightly and took a deep breath. This isn't anything, Ben.

He stared at the concrete, feeling his own neck for his pulse. His hands were freezing against his warm neck.

Slowly, he calmed himself down.

[kryptyk-dreams]

I think I just want hurt and comfort AJDHFJDJDN

Oh...the need for Benjamin painful angel power awakening where his wings grow out of his back...

[kryptyk-dreams]

Oh...the need for Benjamin painful angel power awakening where his wings grow out of his back...

[kryptyk-dreams]

🐝  *  ―  𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑭𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

❛  but i do care about you ... a lot.  ❜ ❛  do you really need me to say it? fine, i love you. happy now?  ❜ ❛  i didn't think you'd feel the same way.  ❜ ❛  the truth is, i don't want just anyone. i want you.  ❜ ❛  you know i love you, right?  ❜ ❛  i want to spend the rest of my life with you.  ❜ ❛  you're the only person who has ever made me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  can't you see how much i care about you?  ❜ ❛  i did all of this for you. because ... because i love you.  ❜ ❛  please don't make me say it. saying it is gonna make it real and i'm not sure i'm ready for that yet.  ❜ ❛  somewhere along the way, you became more than just a friend.  ❜ ❛  i can't keep pretending like i don't love you.  ❜ ❛  well, i like you. i really, really like you.  ❜ ❛  i like you a lot more than i ever thought i would.  ❜ ❛  you're an idiot ... but you are my idiot and i wouldn't have it any other way.  ❜ ❛  when we first met, i didn't think you'd ever mean so much to me.  ❜ ❛  i could do this on my own but i don't want to. i want you right by my side every step of the way.  ❜ ❛  for once, i'm gonna make the selfish choice and be with whoever i want to be. and that person is you.  ❜ ❛  you've made me so incredibly happy.  ❜ ❛  i wasn't planning on telling you like this but now is better than never.  ❜ ❛  believe it or not, i do enjoy spending time with you.  ❜ ❛  i still don't understand what i ever did to deserve someone like you in my life.  ❜ ❛  i love you. i'm in love with you.  ❜ ❛  just being with you is enough ... you are enough.  ❜ ❛  i love everything about you. even the things i don't like, i love.  ❜ ❛  i have been trying so hard not to say anything, to just ignore it, but i cannot do that any longer.  ❜ ❛  when i wake up, you're the first person i think about.  ❜ ❛  i've never felt a connection like this with anyone else ever before.  ❜ ❛  there's something i've been meaning to tell you for a while ... i love you.  ❜ ❛  don't ever do something like this again! i thought i'd lost you ... and i can't ever lose you.  ❜ ❛  i don't hate you. i actually like you. a lot.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to say anything, i understand. and i want you to know that i feel the same way.  ❜ ❛  what's not to love about you? you're beautiful and kind and you're overall the most amazing person i have ever met.  ❜ ❛  i have no idea how i ever managed to fall in love with someone as infuriating as you.  ❜ ❛  i just want you to know how i feel ... in case one of us won't make it.  ❜ ❛  i can't believe it's taken me this long to realize but i love you.  ❜ ❛  whenever you're around, i can feel the butterflies in my stomach.  ❜ ❛  but most of all, i hate how much i don't hate you.  ❜ ❛  you are the most important person in my life.  ❜ ❛  i love you more than words can express.  ❜

[kryptyk-dreams]

She smiled and sighed softly, gently stroking his hair. "There's a good little boy."

Ben was lucky she was in a good mood, unfortunately slightly ruined by his unwillingness to go.

"Are your friends the only reason you want to stay?" She asked, and Ben could immediately tell that she was planning something. Perhaps mentioning them at all was a bad idea.

continued, with @soulchannels

Tension was rising, it was rising fast, and Ben’s heart pounded similarly quickly. Shallow breaths were taken in an effort to calm himself down, unable to manage deeper ones, and yet the irate glare of his mother set that panic off despite his efforts. For a moment, all Ben could do was stare with those wide, panicked eyes, until he attempted to give that reason Marilyn had demanded, even as his voice shook.

“ G-Grace is my friend, I— I love her as my friend, I don’t want to leave her, it’ll hurt her— I-I can’t just leave, I can’t go to a whole new city, I can’t— I-I’m grateful for everything you and dad do but I can’t leave the place I’ve been all my life behind-! ”

Heart pounding, voice breaking, the bluenette recoiled and his eyes were screwed tightly shut to prevent welling tears from falling. All the same, the emotions he felt were just as strong, and he couldn’t hide them. He couldn’t leave this city, not yet, he couldn’t leave the few people that cared for him, that made him feel safe and welcome. To be in a whole new place, with only his parents as familiar faces to guide him, it sounded suffocating. He couldn’t go back to square one, he was only now beginning to find his voice at all.

[kryptyk-dreams]

"It's ok. I don't blame you." Boyfriend said a little solemnly.

Yeah. It did hurt. Though Pico wasn't the only one at the shooting, BF couldn't help but feel that he had forgotten that at the time. BF isolated in high school after they had broken up.

His name felt like a sick joke.

He snapped himself out of it before he dug any deeper.

"...How are things going with...well, up here?" BF pointed at his own temple, tapping it. "I only heard things but...I wanna hear it from you."

“ 'm glad.” He's glad that Boyfriend had found someone sometime after they broke up. Not that relationships fix everything, but more of a supportive role in that regard. Aside from the parents, more so the dad, she seemed good in his books.

“I'm sorry, Blue. You didn't deserve any of that.” The breakup was… Messy, very messy and could've been handled much better than how it did. After events, the redhead just isolated himself from everyone. Hurting everyone he cares about, including Boyfriend.

It had been in an effort to protect them, to not involve them in the aftermath of the school shooting, but it did more harm than good.

[kryptyk-dreams]

How pathetic.

Marilyn furrowed her brow seeing her son crumble before her. A fragile little thing.

But still her baby boy.

She knelt down and gently hugged him.

Her perfume smelled of cherry blossoms.

Her hair was soft.

Her body was warm, yet her hands were cold from poor circulation.

She recalled how weak she used to be.

And hated how Benjamin was a reminder of that.

Her throat tightened briefly.

"If you're really thankful, then say that you love me."

She said softly.

"Say it. I love you, mom."

Though her tone of voice was gentle, Ben knew damn well that this wasn't her asking.

This was a demand.

continued, with @soulchannels

Tension was rising, it was rising fast, and Ben’s heart pounded similarly quickly. Shallow breaths were taken in an effort to calm himself down, unable to manage deeper ones, and yet the irate glare of his mother set that panic off despite his efforts. For a moment, all Ben could do was stare with those wide, panicked eyes, until he attempted to give that reason Marilyn had demanded, even as his voice shook.

“ G-Grace is my friend, I— I love her as my friend, I don’t want to leave her, it’ll hurt her— I-I can’t just leave, I can’t go to a whole new city, I can’t— I-I’m grateful for everything you and dad do but I can’t leave the place I’ve been all my life behind-! ”

Heart pounding, voice breaking, the bluenette recoiled and his eyes were screwed tightly shut to prevent welling tears from falling. All the same, the emotions he felt were just as strong, and he couldn’t hide them. He couldn’t leave this city, not yet, he couldn’t leave the few people that cared for him, that made him feel safe and welcome. To be in a whole new place, with only his parents as familiar faces to guide him, it sounded suffocating. He couldn’t go back to square one, he was only now beginning to find his voice at all.