#If there had to be a color I'd probably go with a piss yellow because it just seems fitting with the crocodile theming

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 9

I love that this episode started with one color-coded brother being so happy after a night of partying.

And the other one losing his color because he is internally freaking out trying to convince himself that Anin basically had sex with her best friend on the lawn for everyone and God to see because she was drunk. Keep telling yourself that lie, dear brother. I used that excuse in college too. Alcohol just makes people gay . . . er. Sure, Jan.

But we all know Anin is sexing up her girlfriend, SOBER, so now it's time for a color-coded beach trip, so TV can lie to us again that sex in the sand is romantic and not torturous. However, the skin is awfully soft after rolling around it in for a bit, so I guess beach sex has its perks beyond, you know, it being sex.

But the heteros do not understand the queer agenda and immediately start wrecking Pink Person Pin and Blue Beauty Anin's beach sex plans.

However, Ueangfah is color-coded yellow, and Pranot is in shorts, so even though it's looking bad for the lesbians, the bisexuals are thriving, and the bisexuals are ME!

Shesus Christ! Nevermind, nobody is doing well now that Kuea has shown up IN BLUE! This is actually why I stopped writing this recap because I was livid when I saw this mediocre man wearing Anin's color. The audacity of a cis hetero man will never stop amazing me. It's cool that he picked up that Pin likes her love interest in blue but he missed one important factor in that equation. HE NEEDS TO BE A GIRL! All that money, yet he can't buy a damn clue.

Yet the girls are still trying to Live, Laugh, and Love under these terrible color-coded conditions!

But Aon is playing these color-coded games too in order to get Anin's attention and wearing versions of pink and purple throughout the trip. Basically the love rivals are waging a strategic color-coded war, and if I wasn't so pissed off at them, I'd be really proud of the wardrobe department for acing this assignment and earning its paycheck.

But I AM pissed because these rivals are doing the most to get in between the ladies and make color-coded fetch happen when IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, GRETCHEN!

One of them even decides to go as far as DROWNING to get attention! This is like the extreme version of "instigating a fight so his hands can be on you" but because we are dealing with lesbians it's "drowning in the beach trip so her lips can be on you." And I know she didn't do it on purpose, but the structural sexism in this scene with all the men refusing to give her CPR because it wasn't proper is why feminism is for EVERYONE! There is nothing inherently sexual about lips touching lips, yet even when SAVING A LIFE, everyone made that shit sexual (INCLUDING PIN!) and I'm looking at a show set in the 50s (60s?) and feeling like it's about 2024, so now I'm pissed about it.

And this is how I know Aon is not showing her true colors because unlike everyone else who has a consistent color, she is flip flopping like those fish she almost drowned with in the water.

But it doesn't matter because now that Aon is out of commission, the girls can get a moment together to try to make beach sex happen. Spoiler: It doesn't happen because Pia is not about that "Be Gay, Do Crime" life (fun fact: public sex on a beach is illegal in most places, like Thailand).

Which means the beach sex is on hold AGAIN because the color-coded brothers must make sure they throw a party (which Pranot does not plan and it's probably why everyone hates it!), and it also means that the love rivals are at it again with the color-coded shenanigans starting with Aon, in purple.

And now Kuea enters in blue.

But my sunshine Ueangfah is looking hella fine and doing her best to bring a smile to Anin's face who is pressed that Pink Person Pin is dancing with Kuea even though it was her own color-coded brother WHO IS A PRINCE that keeps forcing Pin to do this little song-and-dance, literally. I'm gonna grab my girl Ueangfah and head out because she deserves better and by 'better,' I mean me.

Pranot is judging this entire shitshow safely from his seat because 1) he did not plan any of this so this is not his shitshow, and 2) unlike these other men, he knows better than to get in the way of lesbians and beach sex, so he makes sure to keep his ass seated and not ask none of them to dance instead opting to down this awful wine that he knows damn well does not pair well with the food. He is a king among peasants.

But because of the hard work of Prik and Pia, the real VIPs here, the color-coded girls in love finally get beach sex!

AND A PROPOSAL! A sand version of the pink sasa bunny that Anin gave Pin with A 💗 P on it holds the ring that will forever tie Anin to Pin's heart (and will cause them a lot of problems, but those are tomorrow's problem, not today's).

The girls' skin is soft (from beach sex). They are glowing (from beach sex). And they are practically engaged! All is well and they can now live happily ever after.

That is until this Blue Bastard pops back up.

He instantly clocks the ring on Pin's finger and instead of minding his own business, he apparently will make it everyone's problem because the man is determined to marry a lesbian who doesn't love him nor want him, and I am once again standing in front of y'all screaming that feminism benefits everyone including men who think they need a wife to be complete.

Pia and Prik pick up what I'm dropping off, and are backing up their girl in this battle for Pin's hand as they wear blue . . . and orange . . .

And this is where some of y'all really lost your minds because Anin wore yellow thinking it might have been connected to my babygirl Ueangfah, but have no fear because I offered a Wild Ass Theory way back in the second episode.

As the color-coded girls in love age and inherit more adult responsibilities, I think they will incorporate another color.

And those colors are the ones that belong to their mothers.

The girls have been living in a nice little bubble in Pine Palace, but Anin is a princess and Pin is not, so the expectations for their positions in life are coming at them quicker than they want to believe. Pin's mom has mentioned several times that both girls must marry, and Anin's brothers have made similar comments, so even though the girls are growing closer, I think harsh reality is already sneaking into their plans and the colors might be telling us that.

So I think the girls need to be careful or they will turn into the mothers, and because I think Pin's mom is a lesbian who vowed to be the perfect woman rather than love someone else after status tore her and her girlfriend apart, the truth might be closer than I realize, and her color-coded story is similar to the girls in more way than one.

But the colors could all be meaningless, and I could just be crazy. Who knows, you know?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for ditching my parents for my birthday?

Some backstory: I (17F) am turning 18 as of 2024. The 17th birthday is a lot more important in my culture because that's our country's age of majority, and my parents had insisted on celebrating it with a whole party/massive dinner like most other girls do, but I am in fact a loser and absolutely hate these festivities. I am also gender nonconforming/masc and the parties are like, think princessy stuff that I don't super vibe with. My mother is like me. She hates birthday parties and feminine clothing. I have no idea why she was pushing it so hard, but eventually her plans for my birthday fell through. I told her not to bother getting me gifts or anything because I thought I had evaded the celebration ordeal.

However. Much to my misfortune. My whole family decided to barge into my room at 2 in the morning to shower me in confetti!! Confetti!! It was all over the goddamn place, on my bed, in my clothes, etc. I hid under my blanket because there was nowhere else to go and my parents like to do this (barge into the one area of the house I occupy, and start demanding stuff) and my mother was telling me to at least come out for pictures. I was literally in my pajamas like dawg what.

I couldn't take it anymore and started screaming like a banshee because that was the only thing that would get them to leave, but they still stuck around for a couple more minutes being awkwardly like oh... sorry... you really hate this. My room was full of pink balloons (my favorite color is yellow???) and they got me an enormous cake with frosting. I hate cake and especially I hate frosting. It was actually hell.

Anyway more insane stuff happened, not important, but that's essentially the disaster of a seventeenth birthday that I had. I know they want to do something for my eighteenth. I really don't like celebrating things, nor do I particularly want to, but judging by that whole ordeal I think they're going to try something again anyway.

So my plan is to just... not come home after school. Or if I don't have school then I'd just go out in the morning. I don't leave the house, so I don't have curfew, and I don't even want to stay out that long. Just long enough that they're all passed out and I can escape ANY AND ALL ATTEMPTS at giving me gifts, congratulating me, and shooting confetti all over my fucking room.

They're probably not going to call the cops, I'd tell them I'm going out and not kidnapped, just not where and for how long. I also think they kind of can't call the cops on me because I've been a legal adult where I'm from since the disaster birthday. Maybe that will help with the plan. I honestly think I'm just going to go to a café and write or something. I'm so over it, I want to have a birthday that isn't messy, that day means absolutely nothing to me and confetti pisses me off. Since my childhood my birthday has never been about me, like I don't really get what I would like to get, so I'm cool with not celebrating it at all. It doesn't matter.

To me simply avoiding them for the whole day is such a win-win scenario but I don't really know if this is an underdeveloped frontal lobe speaking. I also know they're likely to buy a cake in advance and I may be ruining plans by disappearing. My birthday is late in the year, so I have time to think about it, but I do think my parents are kind of insane. I don't think I can talk them out of doing any more of this stuff. Sorry this got long, but WIBTA?

(And yes I would love to move out but capitalism)

[fnvminorcharacterpoll]

FNV Minor Character Poll - GRUDGE MATCH - Cadaver Clash

Left: Mr. RADical, a nuclear waste enthusiast who died outside of Novac doing what he loved.

—Day 1: Love the suit. Can scavenge anywhere now, screw the rads. I hereby christen myself Mr. RADical. Get it? Ha! —Day 4: Suit passed first test with flying (yellow) colors. Overnight visit to Yucca Mountain. Didn't go too deep because something big moving down tunnel. Rad level high even where I was, and I didn't feel a tickle. Go, rad suit, go! —Day 5: Vomited all morning. Didn't splash on suit or I'd be pissed. Must be something I ate. —Day 9: Exciting! Ran across old woman's scrap yard. Bought glowing container for measly 50 caps. Heading for Clark Field to prove suit at higher rad levels. If it holds up, I'm going to pop this jar of goop open and pour it all over me! I bet I could swim in this stuff if I had enough of it! Oh yeah!

Mr. Radical was the 101st seed in the tournament overall on the A-side bracket. He beat Ronald Curtis (a.k.a. Picus) and Jimmy before being defeated by Keely, the ultimate runner-up, in Round 3-A.

Right: Trash, a wannabe ghoul who died in the Nuclear Test Shack doing what she loved. —Dear Die-ary: I'm so done being confined in this human body. So, today I moved in to the shack at the abandoned test site. There should be enough radiation there to turn me into a ghoul. All around me this world is bleak and dreadful; is it so wrong to want a body to match it? I wonder what color my skin will turn and if I'll be able to find a good shade of lipstick to go with it. Probably not. God, everything is so miserable. —Dear Die-ary: I've been in this shack for almost a week now. Nothing is happening. I'm so bored. And this shack is so hot. And it's totally ruining my hair. It's like, so hard to find dye this color in the wasteland. This sucks, I want to be a ghoul now. I hate all this waiting. Life, ugh, living is so overrated. —Dear Die-ary: Good news Die-ary! I think it's finally starting to happen. Ok, so I do feel like, totally miserable (what else is new ha-ha-ha) and my skin is starting to peel off, but I'm pretty sure that is the first step. Oh, and my hair! I finally got it just the way I like it and now it starts coming out. Why does ghoulification have to be so unfair?

Trash was the 104th seed in the tournament overall on the A-side bracket. She beat Ada Straus and Pacer before being defeated by Harland, an ultimate quarter-finalist.

[Bracket | Info & FAQs]

[alpydk]

💖ASK GAME💖

📷 (I'm curious if it's Gale 😂) + 🐰 + 🍪 +🙃+ 🧡 + 💎+ 🌿

My precious demon of chaos is back at 6am! Love you! Thank you <3

Lock Screen (You guessed correctly. Currently, it is this image cropped to his nice shiny chest.)

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

This is a tricky one because I'm not the best judge of behaviour. I'm extremely cynical about people's actions. Think I'm going to go with how a person reacts in a crisis. Someone who panics and can't handle it has probably never been through anything in their life and so I wouldn't really trust their opinion as much as someone who just takes it in their stride. Best said by;

Chris Titus : "Love screwed up people, though. I could hang out with screwed up people forever. Screwed up people are great, 'cause screwed up people have been through some stuff. They know what can happen. They know the problems. 'Cause if you've been through a lot of shit in your life, you know every time you see the shit just about the hit the fan... you step to the side of the fan."

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Double chocolate chip cookie from Lidl. They do these ones that are like the size of my hand and I miss them so much.

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

The PSP sold more than the 3DS. (In case you don't believe me.)

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

Yellow and any form of yellow. It's just a naturally uncomfortable making colour, like piss or jaundice. Why would anyone want it in their homes or on their clothing?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

Priceless wise would be my teddy bear I've had since I was 5 years old. I bought him second hand after I'd moved as a kid and he lost one eye on the way home. I was reading a book at the time where they had a bear with 1 eye, so he got the same name: Nelson. He then lost the second eye a few weeks later and has been missing both since.

Item with a cost - either one of my tamagotchis or my signed copies of the Red Star comic series by Christian Gossett.

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

Jeans, T-shirt. Currently, I have a Vietnamese translated one of Pokemon Crystal that says "Don't serve the devil.". I also live practically in my "I'm Kenough" hoody too.

[songs-about-girls-like-me]

chapter 9: an unidentified bug

(Author's note: le puse "Mr. G" a nuestro maestro. I was giggling so much when I came up with that. Also, I will call people "random girl/boy" when they are irrelevant. Ok, cool)

I was highlighting something in my geography textbook to make a "bright sun" (which was a graphic organiser thing) in my notebook during class. Our teacher, Mr. G, the one who had sang and danced at the disco, was obsessed with making us do "original significative sentences" or "bears" by its initials in spanish. It was a friday and the school day was almost over. I was bored and I just wanted it to be 1:30 already. We were told to use our glue stick to make a circle for the center of the sun with red ink pen. I always thought these graphic organizers were ugly as sin, and I wished we could just do mind maps or a normal summary instead. We couldn't even color it in or use different colors and my sunbeams always looked wonky.

The girls sitting with me in my team were: a girl called Queenie who was in jazz with us, Poppy, wearing a side pony with white ribbon in her hair, and another random girl classmate. Random girl and Queenie were part of the girls who teased Poppy about her bra during camp, and all three were friends and were now talking about their friday outing over Mr. G who was still talking about how to do a "Bear". I yawned and got my ruler out to make the sunbeams when Random girl and Queenie started looking secretively at each other, and I noticed they were side eyeing Poppy. I took a glance and I instantly knew. There was something walking on Poppy's perfectly gelled hair. A little insect of some sort, colored in black and some green or yellow. It was a bug I'd never seen before, at least half a centimeter big or even larger. I knew they were probably thinking it was lice, and I supposed it was a fair guess, adding up the fact that we had had "lice season" in school just before the summer holidays. But I wasn't sure, it seemed way too big. And the color made no sense and it was walking over the gelled rock hard hair, not her side bangs or the rest of her fluffy hair. I had had lice when I was in 3rd grade. Well, not lice, just nits or whatever baby lice are called. I knew they sucked but I also knew some hair washes with alcohol would terminate them in a weekend. I thought we should say something to Poppy and even to Mr. G so that she could go to the school nurse, who was the one to check on lice always. The school nurse and I shared first name and was never mean.

"OMG, IT MOVED!" Random girl screamed and I rolled my eyes. "OMG, OMG" Went Queenie. "What?" Poppy was looking nervous. "You have-" I started.

"You have lice!!" Said Random girl. "What??!" Poppy was terrified. She looked like she couldn't even move. The two girls moved back a meter, pushing their chairs away with their feet while still sitting down. "You- there's an insect on your hair, you should-" I really tried, but my classmates screamed and Poppy was stiff as a board and she looked like crying with her eyes closed, gripping her chair tightly as if that would help. I got a bit pissed at her friends cause I knew this could be handled better and they literally were still screaming !!?

So I stood up with all my Hermione-Granger-personality-complex that made me think I was really more capable than my classmates at times and went looking for our teacher. But Random girl stood up too and we both went to look for Mr. G and she talked loudly over me so she got to tell him about the bug however she wanted to. Then Poppy was sent to the school nurse and that was that. But it almost felt like she got “evacuated” from our classroom because of these girls’ behavior. I was annoyed at them because it would’ve been nicer to keep people's lice a bit quiet, specially if they are your friend! And we weren’t even sure if it was actual lice or a random bug! I shook my head in disapproval and rolled my eyes, going back to take a seat to finish my school work.

Then, 20 minutes later, the school day finally finished and we were lining up in the hallway with our schoolbags to head out to the yard. The tiny hallway was always chaos with all the kids from our class (we were around 80 kids), and we all would push each other making the line so messy some people would even fall to the floor. It could be kinda fun. I wasn't Hermione all the Time. Except for when you actually hurt yourself, like, someone stepping on you, or falling with an elbow all the way to the slippery cream-colored tiles, etc. Everyone was chatting really loud, and Ella, Liv and I were no exception. They asked me a bit about Poppy’s bug incident which was the hot topic of the afternoon. I said I thought it could’ve been just an insect and I wasn't sure it was lice. She still wasn't back from the nurse when I looked around, though. My friends agreed that her friends had been quite sucky.

Ella somehow knew today it was Poppy's birthday party and I had to open my eyes big for how much of a pity that was. I felt bad for her.

"Damn" said Liv making a face. We all agreed to that "damn" and then kept talking about a Disney Channel show or started playing fight or something.

"I think I won't go" in the hallway it was easy to overhear people's conversations cause we all were really close.

"Well, obviously! She's got lice. Like-- I wish I could go, Queenie, we just can't. Even if it's her birthday party! No one should go." It also wasn't as if they were trying to keep it quiet.

Queenie was lowkey dumb so I never minded her much, but Random girl seemed a bit too decided on the matter. She didn't necessarily looked happy, but she was too serious. It definitely seemed like she was taking on the opportunity to throw Poppy under the bus and shit-talk her. And she was just always finding ways to try to walk over her.

When my mom picked me and my sisters up later and asked about our days, I started talking about it, speaking about Poppy as "Poppy [Last Name]" cause I had never talked about her before. When I had a full story to tell in the car, I would sit on the edge of the car seat (I always got the middle seat) and would rest my elbows on the back of the front seats to be closer to the driver. Sometimes I even rested my chin on my hands. I don't know why I did that, maybe so I could get everyone's reaction from that point of view. My sisters and my mom thought Random girl was obviously a terrible friend, more like, she even probably hated Poppy [Last Name] and was actively being mean to her. My older sister thought Random girl was jealous cause Poppy [Last Name] was really pretty and boys liked her, unlike her who was not, and was also a bitter envious bitch. She didn't actually say "bitch" though, cause we would never curse in front of my mom. My younger sister would always provide very good reactions like "no! really?" and "omg, she didn't" or even a small gasp or a shake of the head which was always good to have as support while explaining things.

"Yeah! and now... like- She's probably not going to have a birthday party!" I said, my eyebrows raised in a worried look. I think about this and I am reminded of how young I was lol.

"Yes, probably not. Poor Poppy." Said my mom, driving us. "But you can be nice to her, Rees."

I sat back and rested my back on the seat, pulling my schoolbag close to my chest. "Yea" I nodded. The september sun was still very warm and the car air always felt horribly stale with the carpeted surfaces of the car and the day-long-worn school uniforms. I had taken off my brown ballet flats with a flick of my feet. For a second I kept thinking about that party and if anyone would show up, or who had she invited. Or whether Poppy would be sad or angry at the moment. I would try to show up, if I had been invited.

[purplesurveys]

1742

Anything you're looking forward to this month? We have a mental health break next Friday that I am stoked about. Other than that my days are spent dreading my inevitable promotion.

What's the current temperature? It's cold as fuck in my room because the aircon is blasting right in front of my face, but outside it's 26ºC.

Have you or would you ever forage for mushrooms? I haven't and it also doesn't really sound all that interesting to me.

What's something you dislike about spring time? Idk, maybe the fact that I can't relate to it haha...

What's your favorite lollipop flavor? Not a big fan of candies in general. I'd accept whatever lollipop I'm offered but it's not like I'd seek them out ever.

Are you into gardening and what do you enjoy planting? I am not.

What's some flowers you find to be pretty? Peonies.

Would you say you're easy to get along with? It depends on the person, tbh. There are people I know I wouldn't vibe with from the start, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we just have a different sense of humor or whatever.

Who did you last hold hands with? Not holding hands per se but I did grab Celeste's arm when we crossed the street a week ago because I was scared lol.

What sounds help you sleep? Talking sounds. It's why I always need to have a vlog on when I turn in.

Do you have a loud or more soft laugh? I mean, I have both. I just choose whatever I use depending on the situation hahaha.

Tell me your best pick up line. I never use them.

What's a song that reminds you of warm weather? Beauty and a Beat by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj, cos of the music video haha. Also Slide Away by Miley Cyrus.

Do you have any interest in fairies? Nope.

What's the last refreshing drink you had? Soju.

Do you name your plants? I don't own any plants, but I can imagine myself naming them if I ever got into plants as a hobby.

Do you like to dip your fries in a frosty or ice cream? I guess you can say that! I like dipping mine in a hot fudge sundae :)

Do you prefer staying in cuddled up or going out for a date? Both sound delightful. It depends on what I need on a given day.

Cookies or brownies? Cookies.

What is something you are proud of? My writing.

Are you a fan of musicals? No.

Do you like lemonade? Do you add anything to it? I never get to encounter it and when I do, I mean it's nothing special. I neither like nor dislike it.

Are you more of a fast talker or do you talk more slow? Fast. It only changes if I'm actively thinking while speaking, which can sometimes happen when I'm working and get faced with a question that I'm not sure how to answer right off the bat.

Is there anyone who makes you smile no matter what mood you're in? Honestly, it's hard to imagine not smiling around my best friends unless they do something that directly pisses me off.

What are some inanimate objects or things in general that have the same energy or vibe? I'm not sure if I'm answering the question right, but Monday for me gives off the color red. Tuesday is green, Wednesday is blue, Thursday is gray(???), Friday is yellow.

What is something that is quick to cheer you up? BTS has a grip on me like you wouldn't believe.

Have you ever stargazed with someone? I guess. My class had an overnight stargazing activity in school so you can say I stargazed with the rest of my classmates? Hahaha.

If you were royalty, what would you like to be addressed as? Just my name. I'd 100% be begging people to just call me by my name.

Are there any foods you could eat daily and never get sick of? Probably fries.

Are there any things coming up that you have to travel for? It's not a crazy long travel but I have a concert in November that I have to travel all the way south for. Anything that requires a toll gate is far enough for me so I'm counting that haha.

What was a time when you have laughed so hard you cried? My family and I laughed to high heavens over this TikTok video.

Plan a good day. I'm back in Bangkok, have my Viber notifs on mute, and am not thinking about how many days I have left til I'm back in Manila.

What would you do with $10,000 right now? Keep it safe in my account.

If you had to create an alter ego for yourself, what would they be like and what's their name? They would be a person more confident and prepared for the aforementioned promotion that I'm headed towards. I swear I'm getting out the first chance I get...

What's one of your biggest accomplishments today? Angela planned a last-minute dinner (it was the evening of her birthday eve) so I had to think quickly for a birthday gift hehe. I ended up giving her a self-care kit since she's been stressed with work recently – a dog stuffed toy whose proceeds go to a local shelter with every purchase; a couple of Katinko bottles for when her shoulders or back get sore; and a reed diffuser.

Do you believe in reincarnation? why or why not? No. I just don't find much pleasure or fulfilment thinking of existential stuff like that so I don't bother.

What relative are you closest with? My sister and eldest cousin on my mom's side.

Do you have any recurring dreams? Not really.

What last had you startled? My car hit this extremely, extremely low curb earlier today when I tried to turn towards the gas station haha. Even the gas station attendants got shaken up HAHAHA.

What emotion have you experienced most lately? DREAD. Anxiety. Nausea (not an emotion but still?). Eugh.

Let's say there are no obstacles preventing this.. What would you do for the rest of your life? Travel to every art exhibition in the world. Write about things I'm passionate about. Own an animal shelter.

What last made you feel proud? Seeing Yeontan being brought on stage by Taehyung when he performed on one of the music shows earlier this evening haha. I'm pretty easy to please.

What's an odd phobia someone you know has? Not a phobia per se but the Filipino superstition of pagpag has always struck me as odd. I don't follow it and will not voluntarily do it, but then again everyone drags me to do it nonetheless so I just go with the flow as it's just 5 minutes of my time, haha.

What did you last search online? Zayn Malik's Zap tattoo as my friends and I were talking about tattoos earlier.

Do you have any ghost stories you've experienced? No.

If you were to be a food, what would you be and why? Idk, I don't really match personalities to food.

When did you last dust your home? I'm not in charge of dusting but I did sweep the floor, which is what I usually take care of, earlier this evening before leaving to see some friends.

If you could pick an age to stop aging at, what would you choose? I wouldn't choose any.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #138

What was the last heavy thing you lifted? By MY unhealthy standards, a small toolbox. I rode with Mom to Nicole's house to fix her sink, and it's what Mom brought along and she needed help carrying things inside (we brought our dog with us, so she had to take her carrier).

Is July an important month for you? My sister Katie was born on the 4th actually, but generally, no. I honestly hate July, it's too fucking hot.

If someone looked inside your mind right now, what would they find? honestly right now they probably wouldn't know what the fuck they're looking at lmfao

Are you good at reading body language? I'm honestly probably hyper-observant of it, to where I see meanings that aren't actually there.

Do you have an anchor tattoo? Would you ever get one? No to both.

What is something that is creepy to you? Facebook/socials stalking people you like came to my mind, idk that's just going too far to me. Like sure if you meet someone you're interested in and want a bit more info, hell, it's probably even safe to check things out once, but digging for miles and checking obsessively just isn't healthy imo.

What do you need right now? I thought about it, but I don't wanna go here right now.

What do you consider to be cruel? Besides the extremely obvious things that basically everyone can agree on, trophy hunting. Like I immediately hate your fucking guts if you go out and murder a living creature going about its peaceful life JUST for the fun of it and to mount their dead heads on your walls and shit. Hunting for food doesn't bother me (like, that deer you killed almost ABSOLUTELY had a better life than the countless livestock forced into nightmarish existences that we accept as "normal"), but even then, I think it should be done solemnly and without gloating, and immense gratefulness for that animal's completely unwilling sacrifice.

Do you love to daydream? Yes, probably to a fault.

What’s your favorite shade of yellow? I'm really not a big fan of yellow, it's one of my least favorite colors, but I guess I'll go with amber, that I do like.

Has anyone told you to calm down recently? lol no, I think the people who know me know that it's not that fucking simple, and I would get legitimately pissed off if someone said this to me as someone with chronic, severe anxiety problems.

When did you last panic? I don't want to talk about this.

Are you currently tired? Yes. I got just about no fucking sleep last night and it really pisses me off because I was going to help Mom with the kids today, especially because Ryder gets really disappointed when I'm not there and I already wasn't last week, but there was no way in hell I was getting up early enough this morning. I just texted my mom at like, 2 AM or some shit telling her to let me sleep.

What helps you get by? My mom, Girt, Mazzy, Tez, Girt's family and to some extent mine, medication, therapy, creative expression, being stubborn.

When did you last wear a mask? It's been a few weeks, most places I go to now have stopped mandating it.

Does it hurt you when others are rude for no reason? Yes, because I'm sensitive as shit.

If you could say anything to your father right now, what would it be? WOW what timing, I just messaged him happy birthday lol but I'd love to tell him that in person.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Probably around like, 75mph accidentally on the highway.

When did it last rain? Today; it's been going on and off. It was absolutely pouring earlier.

Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Like 6 or so times, but never for physical issues, just mental. I woulda preferred the physical shit.

Has anyone blamed you for something you didn’t do? I don't know if she meant for it to come across as straight-up blame, but it absolutely did: in the message Sara sent me after I cut our friendship off, she decided it was a great idea to phrase herself VERY MUCH SO in a way that makes it sound like she blamed me for almost attempting suicide. Don't get me FUCKING started on this topic, I take exactly 0% fault for shit that she decides to do when it's not like I fucking bullied her or something, but I still think about it sometimes anyway.

How much is gasoline where you are? I haven't been paying attention, but a google search tells me the cheapest right now in my county is $3.27.

How are you doing today? Not great, but way more numb today than I've been the past few.

What is the last song you listened to in a car? It was "Zeig dich" by Rammstein. I'm surprised I remember, I generally don't when surveys ask this, lol.

Do you currently feel calm? No.

Are you good at making new friends? No, I'm too shy. It's easier online, but I still don't like reaching out.

Are there any important things happening this week? Sunday my sisters and I are having lunch with Dad and his wife for his birthday, and I also obviously have PT this week, and I think therapy (thank fucking god) too.

If comfortable answering, have you or would you ever be admitted into a mental hospital? Already said earlier that I have been, but the last part of this question is very inaccurate and misleading; involuntary commitment exists and has happened to me, like you don't GET to choose. You can get a lawyer to shorten your stay, but you're going to the mental hospital anyway.

What’s a color you think is underrated? Uh... I don't really know. OH, maybe green, like nature-y shades? I think green's a less popular color, but the shades that remind you of being outside, like mossy, seafoam, or forest greens, c'mon, they're fantastic.

Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? uh, BE RICH???????? Do you know how much good that would do?????????????

When did you last hear thunder? Today.

What all have you put in the trash today? Uh the lid that seals the top of the meal replacement shakes I drink, but the bottle itself went in the recycling bin, and I also put cans of the flavored water I drink in there.

Do you enjoy blueberry muffins? omg yes, I LOVE these.

What’s something you will never forget? The night of the breakup with Jason.

What’s the most bitter pill you’ve ever taken? Uh I'm just gonna take this literally, in which case I think Lamictal, a med I was on for a long time. It's a big pill and it regularly would hit the roof of my mouth, and on god when that shit happens, you want to DIE afterwards because of the taste it leaves.

What is a popular TV show or movie that you do not like? Years ago, Girt and I watched the original three Star Wars movies, and neither of us got the appeal like, at all. Whatsoever. Unrelated to my opinion of the films but do y'all know how SHOCKED I was to hear Yoda's voice for the first time like THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? I don't share information like this man anyway literally yesterday

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? Shockingly, I don't like energy drinks; they're just way too sweet for me, and when a drink is too sweet for ME, that says something.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? Maybe someday, idk.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Yeah sure, idc. We live in an area where black bears exist, but they are VERY rare to see in this county.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Honestly I kinda think getting a job has officially outrun my attention to improving my mental health. Maybe. Idk. I'm just desperate.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? Well, because I was only ever in the ER overnight for suicidal reasons, my options were extremely limited; I was only sometimes allowed a book, and it had to be approved by the staff. Usually I just slept, or tried to anyway, because their beds are ABSOLUTE and utter shit. They really need to give you more options, like the most insane I've ever felt was during those long ER stays where I was just kept in this small room with nothing to do like some neglected animal. It does NOT help your mental state; it only ever made it worse.

Are your hands unsteady? Yeah, I have what's called essential tremors. I feel like they've improved, though, especially the less medicated I am.

Do you think you’re pretty? No. It's insane, I've always thought of myself as ugly, since literal childhood, but where I am now in life, I'd give anything to look like how I did as a teenager again.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? This was accidentally the case with Jason; I thought he was a different Jason that I actually did somewhat know. Y'know I never asked how he ever even found my name + account lol, according to him he just saw me in the school hall one day and was immediately like "yup I need to know her," lol wish you hadn't bro

Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad.

Who do you know that wears the most makeup? Probably my friend Summer, but I want to make it abundantly clear that this should not be seen as a bad thing. She's a very talented cosmetologist and makeup just makes her happy.

Have you ever been tied up? No.

Are you anyone’s first love? I don't know. I used to think that was the case with Sara, but to be honest, I don't think she really romantically loved me.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? By middle school, we had different teachers for each subject, so.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? I'm certain Jason did and I'm pretty sure Girt has.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer that boys/men do whatever the fuck they want with their own body, I literally have no opinion. People who treat body hair like it's disgusting and/or uncleanly are due to grow the fuck up.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She knows I've done things, but what those "things" are I've never shared. She knows I'm a virgin + why.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? LMAO YES, Girt and I do this so much and were last night too.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? No.

When was the last time you went to an ice cream parlor? What kind of ice cream did you get? Oh wow you just unlocked a memory I forgot I had, it woulda been when I visited Sara, I think the last time. Her dad took us and I think her youngest brother to this local place that they love, despite it being fucking freezing lol, but it's never too cold for ice cream. I don't remember what I got, but they had a ginormous amount of options to mix together.

Did you go to school with anyone named Ashley? What was that person like? Well in high school my older sister Ashley was briefly there while I was, and back then she was very independent, studious, ambitious, but also very reclusive; she didn't leave her room a lot and when she did, it was usually to go somewhere. Back then she was also the kind that couldn't leave the house without makeup, and it always broke my heart, like my sister has always been gorgeous. Thankfully she's WAY past that now.

What color is the vehicle that you travel in most often? White.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? When was the last time you saw them? I have a shitload if you include my half-siblings, but I only regularly see Ashley's three kids. I saw them like... two weeks ago? I have a nephew by my brother that I haven't met yet, which sucks. Actually Katie also has a kid or maybe even two that I haven't met. Your family being strewn about all over the country fucking sucks.

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met? No, for neither pair of them.

Do you have a relative or close friend named Peter? When was the last time you saw that person? I actually don't think I know a single Peter.

Have you ever had an ex who wanted to get back together? What did you say to them? Well, I guess Girt. He said yes when I asked him back out, so he was obviously up for it.

[symeona]

Hi! I was wondering if you knew where the post (I think it was replying to an ask) that you made about how Heracles is black was? I mentioned it off hand to a friend, and I'd love to be able send your post to her! Also, if you have any extra tidbits or resources about people of color in Greek mythology, I'd love to hear them! It's all so interesting, thank you for talking about it!

Okay lemme start with,

Greek people aren't a race. We've never been that, I don't care how much the Renaissance has whitewashed our history. Greek people have never looked one way or the other. I just like to debunk white supremacists and their theories because

1. I'm not a mulatto nor a g*psy

2. My cousin is a black Greek man and this whole thing started because I wanted to show him that his heritage is his: success.

3. Greek culture does not belong to the Romans nor white Europe, die mad. Sami ppl can have it if they want, cause I said so.

4. I like to piss off Nazis

Going as far back as Homer, dark skin was regarded as healthy and beautiful amongst us. White skin was associated with weakness. Λευκώλενος for example, means white-armed which meant weak.

Pharos is a good source that I think talks about the dark skin part of it all

Now

Heracles is painted in most cases with dark skin. So, it's safe to say that he was seen as a dark skinned man. (Look up paintings on amphoras, look up the terracotta statue of him and Apollo, etc.) Dark skin is associated with strength because, to put it bluntly... White people would faint and die if they ran around ancient Greece without sunscreen. Rip.

I went the extra mile and said he was probably a black Greek man because of Andromeda, who was the daughter of the king and queen of Ethiopia. Andromeda was Heracles's great-something grandma. And Zeus, well.. I'll get there in a bit.

A little about Ethiopia, most sources will say it's just Africa. But in some ancient texts it's described as the East and West. This might be a wonderful little hint, that said Hey. Black people were just living life all around us. I can't prove it but hey.

Memnon is another character who is either dark skinned or black. He's been portrayed as both in antiquity. Here's an article.

Achilles is a funny story. Most fanart will portay himst as a blond man.

Now. Allow me to go off a bit.

Achilles has never been described as white nor blond in the actual texts. Ξανθός doesn't mean blond. I call my sister that, she's absolutely not blonde. But she does have lighter hair and skin than me. Do with that what you will. His hair was also described as pyrros (red). Idk how to tell white people this... But your concept of blond and red hair? Very different than ours. Ξανθός can even mean glistening, the ocean was described as that, I don't think the ocean is yellow, do you? Another source, Aristonicus, says that Ξανθος meant angry (ξανθοχολοι). It doesn't help that Achilles's hair is described like that only two times, at Patroclus' death and his funeral. Both times he was angry. Aha! A clue perhaps, Sherlock.

Idk what else to tell ppl, Achilles was not blond.

In fact, Achilles has more in common with Memnon than any other character in the history of Greek epics. Does that mean that my ancestors were like "Woaah look at the light-skinned man! He can actually run in the sun without dying!!" Or was he dark skinned. I can't say cause it's just a story.

Odysseus, when Athena made him look like a "god", darkened his beard and his skin (Od. 16.175: μελαγχροιής, melanchroiês, which is a compound of melan, “dark,” and chroiê, “flesh”).

Zeus was portrayed as a black man by Sophocles. Not just dark skinned. Black. (Read Inachus)

I focus on the black history of it all because had Europeans not been racist towards black people I would have never been racialized and experienced violence because I'm a "mulatto". It's personal vindication to look at the history of my people with a critical eye. Idk if that makes sense but

[deathwishdaydream]

Dear Universe, Up Yours!

Chapter 2

[ "Julie"  by The Fiestas playing]

I sometimes spend my time sitting down at the same empty spot on a creaky and old brown bench in a wistful, lonesome park that was nearby. It was eloquently plagued with gloomy clouds that had wiped out nearly all the brightness of the covered sun. I would take off my dirtied-up shoes and socks and feel the sharp wet grass brush my feet as they land on the ground while my head and body would fall back. Then I'd look at the sky above me. Staring at it for too long sometimes freaked me out, though. It reminds me of how large the world really was. It gives me the thought of falling somehow. My favorite times to go to that spot would be when it would rain, had rained, or just when the sky looks gray and pale. It was to bring some ecstatic feeling of nostalgia, as well as predominant ease. But I'd sometimes go there when I deeply feel like I wanted something more out of life. And sometimes I'd wait there all day just to see the sky transition to colors of purple, orange, and pink. It's more beautiful that way instead of the mundane blue sky and bright yellow sun. It's the things that are predictable and expected from others that make those things depressing. To think that it's possible for a light, sunny day to be considered depressing. Sometimes, I'd sit at that bench and just contemplate, "What the fuck am I doing here?" Those times, I would think about running away. Just leaving this fucking place out of nowhere, slipping out of the cuffs chained to the ponderous anchor that had kept me in this place for years. Sometimes I think I was my own anchor, though, that I was the weight that had kept me here. If I don't do anything about it, I would remain and rot in this shitty town. But television and films made running away seem so easy. Hollywood made everything look easy. I think that's why I hated it so much. It reminds me of what I can't have and can't do.

[ "Julie"  stops playing]

After thinking and deciding for a longer time, I quickly finished eating and got up from my seat. It was like one of those abrupt stands, as if you were disturbed at the dinner table because one of your family members had pissed you off. I held the tray firmly in my hands, just to walk over to the garbage and throw it away, adding to the increasing pile of shamelessly uneaten food. I was then walking quickly to Gerard's nearly empty table, passing each and every other one, which were full, and had emitted chatter and a few bursts of laughter. He looked up at me as I was nearing closer and then I finally sat right next to him.

"Do you hate your life?" I asked immediately, taking him by surprise. I gave the both of us no time to react, really. Gerard's eyebrows had raised and he looked a bit scared, probably feeling on the spot as his hazel eyes appeared wider. Sometimes I think my mouth and vocal cords have a mind of its own. Just saying the thoughts in my head that I didn't even process myself.

"I— What?" he wasn't able to properly process an answer and hell, I don't think he even fully digested the question. He looked super innocent with his soft facial features and gentle voice, but I couldn't help but notice some discomfort or ache from him. He didn't only look like this when I was around. I could see it from afar and it was also the way he acted that was sort of off about him. I think he didn't like living here too. But that was just an assumption. I was probably just so desperate to find somebody like me.

"Are you content with the life you have here in Belleville?" I extended, in a deadpan tone, hoping he would be able to answer it somehow. I think I'd be satisfied with any answer. I think I wanted to try to know him, which was pretty unusual for me. I didn't really like getting to know people. But it felt different this time.

He breathed in sharp and slowly, and pursed his lips after hearing that same deadly question again, fiddling with the lunch tray with his thin pale fingers, eyes on me. Sometimes his irises would move away though, tardily looking up and down, as long as he didn't look at me when he contemplated. "Maybe," he finally, responded timidly and I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. I thought that was a rather strange answer. It'd make more sense, when you're not answering with a yes or no, to say you simply didn't know. Seeing my face change into intuition, he sighed, eyes looking up at the high ceiling, then back at me. "No... No, not really."

I think I felt more relief hearing that come out of his mouth. I don't know if it was the thrill of being right or just now knowing I wasn't alone.

"I hate it," I said flatly, moving my head away from him to face straight, avoiding eye contact, possibly to reevaluate my life here. "A lot..." I added. "It's boring. This town is boring, the people are boring. I want to leave."

"So why don't you?" he asked calmly. His voice had chimed in my right ear. It was different hearing him like this when I wasn't looking at him. It gave a certain warmth that would make me shiver. It was soothing. "Run away?" He continued.

I finally turned my head to look back at him. There was pity on his face and I wanted that to go away. "Because," I started. "It's hard." I paused, rethinking everything I had thought before about running away. How impossible it was. Or just how scary. "I just don't... really know how."

There was a long, piercing silence as Gerard was just finishing eating. As if I hadn't said anything just now. And for some reason, I felt really bothered by this. The silence was eating me away, making me feel empty and anxious. It felt like he hadn't listened to me at all right now. But I was stupid. I'd get angry at so many useless times. And sometimes I don't know what I've just said until I see the reaction, the face of that person I said bitter shit to. "Well, aren't you gonna say something?"

He gulped the piece he bit into of his sandwich, clearly startled and alarmed, asking, "What?"

I feel like I'm a very impatient person. I mean, I know I am. There were times I could be rude to people that I was forced to talk to. At my family's parties, mandatory school events, partner and group work, et cetera. But this time is different. I wasn't forced to talk to Gerard, not at all. I chose to, I wanted to. I don't know why he caught my attention, but he's just interesting and he just did. With the whole shy-nerd getup, watching me at my table for moments. However, I knew that if I kept talking with him, he may never want to talk to me ever again. I knew this because Gerard wasn't such an easy person to talk to. He was quiet, introverted. So it really tested my patience. I'm honestly pissed at myself for walking over here. I'd get mad and it's not his fault. I was sure that I'd lash out immediately, but it's really not his fault. Nothing would be. He's horribly wary and hypoactive, he never came out of the hollow shell he was comfortably stuck in. He was like a placid, inhibited turtle, or perhaps a chick apprehensive to hatch for some unknown reason. I really wanted to figure him out, actually. But unfortunately, I became impatient already and sort of, well, in a way—in my way, lashed out.

"I was gonna say I don't have time for this," I began in an indifferent tone. I was the one who came to him, though, to talk. It wasn't very fair, but my mind never really works well at times. Again, sometimes words just come out of my mouth unexpectedly. And I think I hate myself for that. "But I'm not in a rush to do anything nor anything important, so you're just not worth my time."

[ "Ziggy Stardust"  by David Bowie playing]

I stood up, again, like that same agitated dinner table stand, and walked out of the cafeteria through the doors and outside to the quad, sitting, legs crossed, on the warm gray pavement, my palms touching it. I felt the cold breeze brush against my face and my arms, and it stung as if I was being punished by the world for that. I looked in the distance, seeing students walk in different directions and others sitting at tables with each other, happy. I wish I wasn't like this.

I'm not too good at apologizing, considering I have never really done it at all. It's not that I haven't done anything outrageous to apologize for, it was that I just really wasn't sorry for doing whatever I've done. I bet Gerard was sitting at that table, still and in shock, awkward and questionable. I regret it, saying that stuff to him. Everything was so quick and I've never really had a real, sort of, conversation with anyone. So I thought that I wasn't being very fair to Gerard. 1—He was shy. Shy people are difficult to speak to, and it's really not their fault. 2—I chose to walk up and talk to him. He never really tried to converse with me in the first place, just giving me the science paper I've left. I don't know why I expected him to talk more, though. It was common sense, I thought. But it was wrong to set expectations for people. Maybe I just expected everyone but me, to know the answer to everything I didn't know.

I got up from where I sat on the ground calmly and walked back inside the cafeteria. Opening the door, I found Gerard again, sitting at the same spot, looking lonely, surrounded by all the full and lively tables. He was listening to music with headphones that would be connected to his walkman. After evaluating him for a while, seeing his face in complete apathy with his head in his hands, I finally walked up to his table again and sat by him. He took off his headphones,

[ "Ziggy Stardust"  stops playing]

and hung them around his neck. He looked at me in surprise, pale lips slightly parted, but eyes relaxed, waiting for me to say something. But then I just stood there, staring at him for a long, long time.

"I'm sorry," I said flatly. It was sincere, I know it, but out loud it sounded forced and effortless. I hated how my tone went that way.

He blinked and gulped, pausing. "For what?" he asked, looking incredibly clueless. Does he really not know what I had just said to him? Did he just not care, then?

"Lashing out on you. Blaming you. I shouldn't have expected you to say something. So I'm sorry for setting expectations for you too. It was almost impossible to respond to what I said, anyway. I just..." Needed someone to talk to me. Which I haven't ever felt before.

Needed you to talk to me. "Needed you to give me advice, maybe." I finished.

"It's okay," he said, collectedly. "I'm sorry for not being an easy person to talk to. I'm just not used to people... wanting to talk to me."

"Stop flattering yourself, I don't desperately want to talk to you," I did desperately want to talk to him. "I just thought you'd be able to... know how to respond to what I'm saying, thinking. You know, since you're quiet all the time so you have a lot more to think than say." I explained, fidgeting with my fingers. Confrontations were hard. I always thought it was a bit corny, so it was always hard for me to apologize.

"That's alright," he said, inhaling sharply.

There was another silence between us. But again, I did like silence. But it's different this time. Really different. I wasn't really sure how I felt about it now. All I could hear were the overlapping voices of the high schoolers chattering in the cafeteria. But not his voice. I just knew that I wanted to hear him speak again, over the crowds of everyone else. I felt discomfort, now. Everything started to seem sinister, it was weird.

"There's no proper way to run away." he finally said, quietly, though catching my attention. Relief. "If you want to leave everything behind, then do it. And the only person who can stop you is yourself; your regrets, your hesitation, doubt. Well, also maybe the cops, but fuck them,"

I chuckled a bit and smiled. Hearing a cuss word out of Gerard's mouth was amusing, considering I have never heard him say one before. Or expected it, either. Especially the "f-bomb." I was also glad we shared the same repugnance towards those pigs. My lips then relaxed, my smile fading, coming down.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome," he replied softly. It was the soothing thing again. It was like he was trying to be as gentle as he could when he spoke like he never wanted to be too loud or hoarse. Maybe he was just gentle though.

I paused for a bit before I said anything else, trying to think of what exactly to talk about. It was weird how I kept wanting to talk to him. I knew how unusual that was of me, but I knew deep down I wanted this for some reason. "What music were you listening to?" I asked, referring to before.

He looked down at his walkman and he took off his black Sony headphones from his neck and placed them on my head, as the thin wire had connected to his walkman, and the sound of "Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie now playing in my ears.

"David Bowie," I said and Gerard gave a slight smile, nodding. I wasn't a big Bowie fan, but I'd hear this song on the radio sometimes in a car ride with my parents to the store. "Ziggy Stardust?" He smiled wider, happy about my knowledge of the song. I thought David Bowie was a pretty cool dude. He created the whole glam rock genre and redefined the perception of gender identity. His music and whole deal was basically pop art, it was sick.

I then took out the headphones and hung them on my neck because of a thought that had abruptly appeared in my head.

"Do you know how to drive?" I asked him, causing him to have a face of bewilderment.

"Yes," he replied dully, but I could hear the curiosity in his voice towards my question.

"I don't," I confessed. I had my permit but I failed the driver's license test a couple times in the past. But I didn't specify that because I'd rather have him come with me anyways. "That's why I want you to take me to the convenience store just five minutes away from here."

"What for?" he asked.

"I just need to get some stuff, maybe," I responded.

"'Maybe'?" he repeated as a question.

"Maybe," I confirmed. I think it was just an excuse for me to hang out with Gerard outside of school. I don't know why, but I wanted to be around him more.

"Gerard?" I asked as he nodded in response. "If a kid would run away from home, what would happen with their parents?"

He inhaled the air softly, cut off like a half sigh. "It depends on the parents," he replied. I think I was getting Gerard to talk more to me a bit, which was actually nice. "If they're neglectful, they wouldn't care. If they really paid attention to you, maybe they'd call the cops, worrying about you and your whereabouts. But if you went out of the house a lot, they'd expect that and you to come back sooner or later. But if you don't in a while, well... yeah, they'd probably call the cops."

Well, my parents are... something.

My father left me and my mom when I was 8 years old. He came up with the senseless excuse of getting milk from the grocery store when I caught him late that night, all dressed up and holding a suitcase. I didn't think of it much. I was eight and gullible. Knowing that he left, challenged my belief in love and marriage. Is it really possible for people to stay together forever? And not those lush celebrities who stay with their partner for so long, solely content from their wealth in currency, but just regular, ordinary people. Was it possible for me to pass by a random, elderly couple and find out they have been together infinitely, because of love?

Mom was devastated. Maybe she expected it, though. The day that he left they argued passionately, especially as if I wasn't there, listening. Their relationship was a bit rocky, looking back, though. But fortunately, Mom met a woman, Adeline, who would've been my stepmother if same-sex marriage was legal. It took me a while to adjust until I called her "mum" once I felt a bit more comfortable with her. And my mom, she was okay now.

And as the years went by, it seemed like my parents were fine, but they tended to ignore problems. Every problem. Their own problems, my own problems, the world's many problems. But I feel like that's what most people did. I didn't think it was very healthy, but we severely lacked confrontation in this family. Maybe they'll think I was hanging out in the park again when I'm gone. And when it's been too long, I'm sure they'd be concerned and might call the police. So they weren't as deep parents, but they always tried their best to make me feel loved, I guess. I think it never truly worked, though. I still felt alone, but it was always in a good way. I really liked being alone.

 

I think.

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 145.1

First I should apologize for misleading the four people who read my analysis of Chapter 144.2. I told you that Fushi couldn't be the one in Funa's body and I was wrong. I genuinely didn't think that they would care enough to put any effort into their Funa impersonation. I'm sorry.

Sometimes my comprehension skills break down on the side of the road and I forget that regardless of what form they're in, Fushi has yellow eyes that are drawn in a unique way. I was also biased because I want Funa's knocker to be relevant, and that affected my prediction on what would happen next. Since no one this chapter made a comment on Funa's strange eye color, I guess the yellow eyes are just for helping readers differentiate between characters sharing the same body.

Although it seems random, Fushi's plan was actually something they've been thinking of since Chapter 143.1 at least. It was the first time they saw how Mizuha and Funa get treated by this group of girls and it made a big impact on them, although Funa's knocker surprised them before they could intervene. The plan formed fully after their conversation with Satoru, and the death of Funa's knocker set things up so that they could use a form besides the nameless boy's for a little while.

The way Fushi goes over to Mizuha at the beginning of the chapter was framed to be kind of creepy. Imagine the present era from Mizuha's perspective and you will see how disturbing it is when the person you're in love with tries to kill your mom and then presumably kills your new friend so they can stalk you in her form. It's like a fucking horror movie. Fushi's now essentially doing what Funa's knocker was doing: using her body to further their own goals instead of preserving her lifestyle.

No matter how Fushi approached this problem, they probably wouldn't have succeeded, but asking three girls who hate your guts out all at the same time is a spectacular fail. They only know what a date is from when Mizuha introduced the idea to them, so despite her romantic intentions they're hoping it's a friend thing, and now they've created even more misunderstandings.

Fushi's conversation with their teacher felt multilayered, because her advice could apply to the knockers as well as to Funa's life. Fushi has only interacted with the knockers in this era one-on-one, but even when they have an opportunity to ask all the questions they want, they don't get any answers. Maybe a hint that this strategy won't work on either problem. Their teacher also reminds Fushi that there are people worrying about Funa even if they don't say so—which sucks because it's too late for anybody to worry about her, and Fushi does have friends who are worrying about them quite a lot. The only way they'd even know that Fushi's still around is if Bon was updating them.

I'm happy to see Fushi making an effort to do something constructive on their own, but their plan's execution was so bad that they ended up pissing off Mizuha so badly that the left hand had to get involved—which was, ironically, not their intention for once. They believe that the hairband was what helped Tonari and Mizuha become friends, but that doesn't work at first. So start lying to make the hairband "special" and therefore more desirable. In doing so, they've taken the one thing that Mizuha was able to give Hanna to prove that she valued their friendship and turned it into something meaningless. Fushi barely knows these girls' names.

I reread all the chapters in the present era so I could better interpret Saki, Nagisa, and Kasabe's individual characters, because when Fushi talks to them separately you can see how they act when they can't rely on each other. When the group first appeared, Saki and Funa were at the center and closest to each other, always clinging onto each other and the ones who Nagisa and Kasabe were trying to impress. Saki was the one who stomped on Mizuha's foot both times, and she and Funa got into a fight because they both liked the boy who princess carried her. After that, apparently Funa blamed Saki for Rikuya rejecting her and so they ostracized her. Saki was likely the one who instigated this as well. She's the leader, and currently she's embarrassed by Funa because her knocker called attention to her bullying of Mizuha in Chapter 143.1. That's the "blurting out every thought that crosses your mind" that she complained about to Fushi.

Nagisa was originally in the position of appeasing Saki and Funa before they fell out. She was more invested than Kasabe, and after they chased Funa out she stepped in to take the place of Saki's best friend. But Nagisa says that Funa was the one who left, rather than being forced to leave. Either she's they can't get along because she took Funa's spot, or she's expressing resentment that she was forced to choose between Saki and Funa. Or both? It's unclear at this point, but her words felt angrier than Saki's, who's just reflecting her own insecurities onto Funa (and also Mizuha).

Kasabe is usually quiet, and didn't attempt to please Saki or Funa like Nagisa did, so I'd say she's newer to the group? She doesn't react instantly with negativity like Saki, Funa, and Nagisa, like when she started to respond to Fushi's greeting in the previous chapter. She also occasionally takes the time to consider why others behave in the way they do, like when she asks Fushi why Funa switched her opinion on Mizuha in this chapter. Judging by her strong reaction to Fushi saying she doesn't hate Mizuha, I'd say Kasabe actually likes Mizuha quite a bit. She's probably the only one in that group who could genuinely be friends with Mizuha and Fushi, but doing that would mean social suicide. None of these girls can do anything differently, because they each think they might get thrown out by the others.

Tonari and Mizuha's interaction at the end of the chapter is awkward but progress; Mizuha links arms with her, which she usually does with people she likes, and although Tonari looks a little uncomfortable she smiles at Mizuha and responds amiably. When she first appeared this chapter, Tonari looked somewhat lonely walking by herself. She's one of the people who's worried about Fushi right now, especially since she sees it as her job to protect them. I don't know if the left hand was dragging Fushi back to their group or to a different area, but if she overheard that it's Fushi in Funa's body she'll want to know what the hell is going on.

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

For anyone you want, 7, 13, 25 and 30?

thanks for the ask! ovo Hope you don't mind me switching up characters for the different questions ^^"

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Out of my six Liam is the most nostalgic by far, and I'd say it triggers most through smell. Even if it is bittersweet he does enjoy reminiscing about his childhood or time spent with his friends in Kirkwall, though he tries not to linger in the past too much.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Kalagna has always secretly liked the idea of wearing bold and bright colours, mostly a warm yellow of some sort.

As for if she'd actually look good in that... good question x'D I may be an artist but I suck at anything colour related lmao. I do think it'd suit her, but her skin is also pretty pale and ashy so idk if a bright colour like that would make her look sickly? I could also imagine greens would suit her, to contrast her hair.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

June used to dislike the idea of marriage because from the context she knew it from most, which was politics, it just had a very negative connotation to her. When Cullen proposed she did turn him down, which she did feel a little guilty for, but it just wasn't an idea she was comfortable with. She did however warm up to the idea over time, so while it still held no real meaning in her eyes she wasn't opposed to it anymore, and I do like to think they got married somewhere down the line because she knew it meant something to Cullen and she wanted to do it for his sake.

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

Ooh there are a lot of people Lilian would gladly unmeet lmao, but if we're talking people she spent a lot of time with... probably Anders, honestly. It's kinda complicated because it's not like they couldn't stand each other at all, but they didn't get along super well either? In any case, when Anders blew up the Chantry that's what did it for her. It's not like she enjoyed killing him, but if this had been anyone else she wouldn't have let them get away with it, and she wasn't going to make an exception for Anders only because she knew him personally.

What really pissed her off though was post Kirkwall, when she'd catch snippets of rumours, people would often bunch "the Champion" together with "that terrorist mage" or "the martyr", both of which really ground her nerves and made her wish she wasn't associated with him.

[purplerainsaladtea]

TMNT Leo x April [Fic Request]

Thank you to the Wonderful @narwals14 for the Request 💕

[Type of Fic: Fluff]

[Warnings: Minor swearing]

Fugitoid touched down the Ship on a Nearby Planet causing everyone to stumble a bit from the Impact "Okay everyone! We needed to make a quick pit stop. Now this time can we please not try to tick off an intergalactic Alien warlord please?" He asked then shook his head and walked towards the door and opened it. Raph rolled his eyes then walked into the Room with the others to get Geared up with Casey walking beside him "Ha! No promises Fuiga-dude" He nudged Fugitoids shoulder as he passed by.

Fugitoid groaned and hung his head "Oh dear..." He shook his head "What am I gonna do with you all..." He mumbled to himself. April gently placed her hand on Fugitoids shoulder "Don't worry professor. Casey is just Joking" She smiled reassuring but it soon faded "...Ehh... Well at least I hope..." She shook her head "We'll all make sure to keep him in check" She promised. Fugitoid nodded "Thank you April"

She smiled "No problem!" She went to go gear up with the Others. Casey nudged April's shoulder when she walked in, causing her to rub it and glare at him "So, You're Gonna keep me in Check eh red?" He grinned and got close to her face. April only rolled her eyes and shoved his face out of hers "You heard me right, Jones" She turned her back to him and started to attach her gear to her Yellow jumpsuit. Casey chuckled "Well I'll make sure to Really misbehave around you then Red~" He flirted.

"Ay, Casey. Leave her be." Raph told him then dragged him out by the back of his suit. "Ah! Hey! Cut it out Raph!" He groaned then looked at April "See you later Babe!" He yelled out to her. April only wrinkled her face in disgust at the Nickname and scoffed before continuing to gear up. As Casey was being dragged out, out of the corner of his eye he spotted a Pissed off Leonardo glaring daggers his way as Leo was also in the Room gearing up with everyone else.

Leo soon finished before hearing April sigh, causing him to look over at her then look back at his gear and clearing his throat nervously "..Just ignore him April. You know how Casey Can be sometimes" He grabbed his Swords and Lazer guns, equipping them to himself before walking over to her. She held her Helmet in her hands and nodded looking at him before looking at her Reflection in it "Yeah, I know. He's just so Annoying sometimes" She shook her head then put it on. Leo nodded "Yeah.. But that's Casey for you" He shrugged then left the Ship with her.

Her eyes widened "Woah... This place is gorgeous" She glanced around. Leo glanced around as well and nodded "Yeah.." Leo then glanced at her and smiled lightly before she glanced back at him with a confused look, wondering why he was staring at her. Leo blushed lightly and quickly looked away from her, tensing up. Fugitoid came over and stood by the Two of them "This is the Planet of Hanviea. A Beautiful Planet known for it's Crystal mining, Peaceful Population, Great Trade routes, and Beautiful waters and Gardens" His face lit up to show a happy smile "The Aarrealek People who inhabit this planet have Lived in Peace for Centuries and are known for their hospitality and Great Talent" He explained. April nodded "I bet"

Fugitoid nodded "Now shoo you two, go have your fun" He nudged them off.

~Timeskip because I'm lazyyyy~

Leo walked with April and had a Genuinely nice conversation with her. They stopped at a few booths from time to time to look at some of the items people were selling. Leo picked up a Really Pretty Crystal that looked like it had its own little waterfall within it "Wow.. Hey April, come look at-" He looked over to expect to see April standing by his side but he didn't see her. Panic shot through him as he set the Crystal down "April?" He called for her "April!" He called for her again but got no response. Leo quickly ran off from the booth to look for her. He search for at least an Hour before finally finding her in one of the Garden Area's "April! There you are! Why did you run off like that? I-I've been looking for you for ages!" He scolded. April was too fascinated by the flowers to pay attention to Leo's bickering.

"That's amazing.." Leo took the flower back from her and it changed back to the blue/green color again. April nodded then glanced at Leo, admiring his features and getting a bit lost. Leo looked at her and Smiled Smugly "April?"

"April are you even listening to me?" Leo asks and crouches down next to her, glancing at the flowers before glancing back at her. April snapped out of her little daze and looked at Leo "Huh? Oh y-yeah, totally" She shook her head and looked back at the Flowers. Leo sighed then looked at the flowers and his eyes widened slightly "Damn..." He picked a flower up and the flower went from a Glowing white color and changed to a Pretty Green/blue color. April looked at the flower in Leo's hand and gently took it from him and examined it. The flower then flickered again and changed to a pretty Yello/brown/brown color "Woah..."

April blinked "H-Hm?" She asked and looked at him. Leo motioned to the Flowers around them, they had all went from a pretty white to a Bright Red-ish pink color. April noticed them and blushed "Ah! What the hell!? Why are they doing that? I-Is Raph Nearby or something? H-He has to be.." She tried to play it off. Leo smiled and shook his head "Ooo~ ouch~ if he heard that you even associated him with anything related to the color pink he'd kill you" He teased. April blinked then rolled her eyes playfully and playfully hit Leo's shoulder "Oh quiet you~ if that's the case then he better not find out from a certain someone" She playfully warned. Leo raised an eyebrow "Oh yeah? And who might that certain someone be Miss O'Neill?" He asked.

"You're Smart, you'll figure it out" She held her head up high. Leo chuckled and shook his head before placing the flower back into in her hands "Hey.. April?" He asked. "Yeah Leo?" She looked at him

"There is something I've been meaning to tell you for Awhile now..." He leaned in close to her face. She nodded "okay?" She tilted her head. Leo gulped and seemed very nervous "I..." He sighed "...I... Like you... April, okay?... As like.. More than a Friend and before you say anything yeah I know it's dumb and so sudden and now is probably the worst time to tell you since we have more important things to focus on like saving Earth but it's just been driving me nuts and I needed to get this off my chest.. Not to mention I feel like a huge dick considering Donnie and Casey also Like you" He looked down "and I know you'd Probably Prefer someone like Casey over myself or Donnie but either way... I just thought I'd let you know so that I can at least sleep at night now" He scoffed. April's eyes widened and her Jaw Dropped as she fell silent

Leo sighed "Sorry to Bother you..." He stood up and proceeded to walk off before being stopped when a hand grabbed his wrist, causing him to flinch and look at who grabbed him. April grinned mischievously "So I managed to Steal the Fearless Leaders Heart, eh?" She asked teasingly. Leo blushed lightly and rubbed his neck a bit "I guess.." He smiled lightly and glanced away from her. She smiled and squealed "Ahhh! I can't believe it!"

Leo was utterly confused and shocked by her reaction "I-.. Uhh-.. What? You aren't mad? O-Or disgusted?" He asked. She shook her head "Nope!"

Leo's eyes widened and he smiled but it soon faded "Wait... What about Donnie and Casey?" He asked. April shrugged and crossed her arms "I mean... Casey is well...-erm.. Casey. And Donnie is an Absolute Sweetheart but I don't really see him as anything more than like a Friend or Brother" She shrugged. Leo nodded "Oh..."

April returned the nod "Yeah.." She shook her head then Both her and Leo got a Buzz on their Arm gauntlets with a Voice message from fugitoid

"The ship is all fixed and Refueled! Please Report back to the Ship! Blee-bloop"

"well, I guess that's our cue" April shrugged and took Leo's hand and started walking back towards the ship "C'mon"

Leo followed her but was still in shock by what just happened, thinking this was some Dream. A God Damn wonderful dream for the Blue clad turtle. But either way for him whether it was or wasn't.. He was still one Damn happy turtle.

[littiescorp]

So @great-hero-yellow tagged me in this, so I gotta talk about my Super Smash Bros Ultimate roster. So let's go!

MAINS

1. Corrin

I'm not gonna lie, I suck at SSB. The only reason I'm any good, is this good good (broken, some would say) boy here. And my strategy with him? Button smashing and counter spam. Deadass, that's how I rock this dude. I've even beat great-hero-yellow with a well timed counter from him, it's that good. So yeah, this guy is my main and I intend to keep it that way. His only downfall is his recovery sometimes goes in the wrong direction and you can't move after using it, so I just watch him drift to his doom

2. Marth

Have you seen his white colored alt? It's gorgeous, and the reason I started using him tbh. And I'm not that bad with him either. His only downfall for me is he has no good basic down attack. I remember his counter when I accidentally trigger it, and I don't really know how to do Dancing Blade properly, but he's probably my second best character, and again, Damn that's a nice white outfit

3. Shulk

I love this picture, it's such a mood. A few months before his release trailer, I got into Xenoblade Chronicles, so I was thrilled when he joined the roster. Alas, he's a technical fighter that requires strategy and well timed movements and attacks. I'm no good at any of that. It was a rough go at first, but I slowly (very slowly) got the hang of him. When I die its most likely by spamming backslash, and then using one too close to the edge of the stage, and down he goes. But yeah, I like using him, he's alright. The Monado's defese skill is a blessing

NON-MAINS

1. It's me, bitch! (Mii Sword Fighter)

Yeah it's kinda lame, but I'm a sucker for self inserts. Also I love making Miis. So I made myself a sword fighter cause swords are cool (also the ninja outfit looked cool). They have a lot of personalization with their attack style, so it's fun to mess around with. Mine has a good recovery, a strong down attack, and even a counter. Side-b is fun, but I'm also prone to go flying off the edge of the stage towards death with it, so there's that, but otherwise I think I've built a solid Mii. If only I was good at the game to utilize it lol

2. Bayonetta

When her trailer dropped, I was enamored with her. She's beautiful, sexy, and sassy, and I love it all. Hell, Nintendo had to change the rating just to get her in the game, and her trailer had a warning for "implied sexual themes" which kills me every time I see it. And yes, I do go back and watch it every now and then to relive that glory. But again, she's a very technical character, and unlike Shulk I didn't get too good with her. I'm not terrible, and I can get off one of those long combos every now and again, and witch time is fun when I remember to use it, but her wicked weaves are hard to trigger and miss half the time so yeah. I mostly play them just to piss great-hero-yellow off because of the sleight her trailer gave to the Kid Icarus characters

3. Pikachu

Pikachu was my main in Brawl, and I was actually fairly good with him. He has a fantastic recovery, and let's be real, thunder spam does in fact work. But for some reason, I'm not too good with him in smash 4. Maybe that'll change in Ultimate, but for now I don't use him all that much, but I love him the same. Also, the emerald headband is the cutest alt, don't test me

NEW AND RETURNING CHARACTERS TO TRY

1. Snake

I played Snake a little bit in Brawl, and honestly it's mostly because of his ass (rip snakes ass in Ultimate). I don't think I was too good, but it's been so long since I've played so who knows. I'll probably try him out in Ultimate cause why not.

2. Isabelle

Look at her, she's so precious and pure. I haven't played much of the Animal Crossing games, I'm not too big a fan of real time based games, but even so I got excited when she was introduced to Smash, and I do enjoy her. Besides, who could fight this adorable face and not feel guilt? That's how I plan to play her

3. Incineroar

My boy is here. I chose Litten as my starter in the Alola games, and I truly loved Incineroar, so when I saw him kick that Ken dudes ass, I was overjoyed. He doesn't look like he'll be the best fighter tbh, with the slowest walking speed in the game, but one of his attacks does have a large smash radius, though I can't remember which at this time. But yeah, I love my buff bara cat, and I do plan on trying to use them. Besides, slow characters means I can't get too close to the edge, right? Right?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I do wanna try playing the Inklings, they're really cute. And Chrom, I'm so glad he's got his chance. Also, I did play a bit as Robin, but I'm not too good tbh. And I may try picking up Roy and Ike, I like their characters but they have pretty bad recoveries, so idk maybe I'll try again.

Anyways, that's my Smash Roster plans. If any of you want to go ahead and do this, feel free. I don't talk to many of my mutuals here, so I'm not gonna tag anyone, sorry. But tag me if you do this, I'd love to see others players, and maybe we can trade friend codes and play together when the game comes out

[writer-in-theory]

the threantener (is that a word? i dont care) has arrived. 😃 have funnnnn.

posting this here as PROOF I'VE BEEN THREATENED.

chipotle order? burrito bowl - white rice, chicken (or just guac), pico de gallo, as much cheese as they're willing to give me

thoughts on veganism? i respect it but i cannot personally do it based on all the dietary restrictions i already have lmao

a specific color that gives you the ick? dark yellow, the kind that kinda looks brown/green?

mythical creature you think/believe is real? okay but i have to believe that there was a dragon-like creature that existed at one point in time.

favorite form of potato? BAKED BAKED BAKED

do you use a watch? in theory. i have a fitbit but i've also forgotten to charge it in a month. but yeah.

what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? PENGUINS. but also i really love the rays

do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home? umm if it's been a long day or like i'm in business-y business clothes then yeah i'm changing into sweatpants or shorts or smthing, but otherwise nah.

do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)? yes i have a very strict routine for my mornings and nights so yeah. my skincare is...yes i just went to count...5 steps!

on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice? ORANGE EVERY SINGLE TIME. apple juice tastes like piss im sorry

anything from your childhood you’ve held on to? i have a penguin stuffie from when i was a baby. but also i have old stories i wrote as a kid that i keep to remind myself of my love of writing.

brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%? not 100%. almost everything i have is its own brand after so much experimenting to find what works best for me.

first thing you’re doing in the purge? realistically, locking myself in my house with a baseball bat bc i'm not dealing with that shit

do you think you’re dehydrated? oh 10000% yes i am. i hate water and i don't drink it until i'm constantly on the verge of passing out. i haven't had water since last thursday.

rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning drowning, burning, freezing. i've actually almost drowned before and that sucked ass. so, yeah, i'd rather not have a sequel event lmao.

thoughts on mint chocolate chip? it's heaven and i will consume anything mint chocolate chip basically.

an anxious compulsion you do everyday? i bite my fingers, pull my hair, pick at my scalp, that fun stuff.

your boba/tea order? ...i don't know. i've legit never tried because it's like walking into starbucks for the first time. i have no idea WHAT to try.

the veggie you dislike the most? brussel sprouts. WHY DO THEY SMELL LIKE THAT?? also beets. they give me the heebie jeebies.

favorite disney princess movie? tangled my beloved <3

a number that weirds you out? why does 27 exist i don't trust it.

do you have an emotional support water bottle? YES I DO. it's a big 32oz that i got at a student org fair my freshman year of university. it's covered in stickers and i love it.

do you wear jewelry? YEE. on the daily, i wear a heart necklace, a fidget ring, and black ball/stud earrings. sometimes i'll wear other rings, bracelets, or earrings but it depends on the outfit and the day.

which do you find yourself using, american or british english? mostly american but that's because work requires it so i've gotten into the habit.

would you say you have good taste in music? ehhh i have interesting taste in music, but i don't think most would like it.

how’s your spice tolerance? nonexistent. i'm a baby.

what’s your favorite or go-to outfit? my go-to outfit is usually this pair of slightly ripped high waisted jeans, a t-shirt, a black belt, and my gay high top converse. if it's colder out, paired with a flannel.

last meal on earth? THATS SO HARD. fettucine alfredo, probably.

preferred pasta noodle? i love penne or the shells the shells are so fun.

[aceofdaibazaal-blog]

Thance x reader (requested impression of you)

Request: For the ‘what character thinks of you’ can you do it for Thace for my OC. Her name is Rize but she goes by the nickname Scorpion due to her ability to use hell fire cause she’s a fire devil and very quick and deadly when fighting.She’s had a very rough life and it takes a lot for her to trust someone let give her real name. She’s sarcastic, salty, brash foul mouthed and ill tempered and doesn’t take anyone’s shit and speaks her mind.l and doesn’t sugar coat the truth. Rize is very protective about the people she cares about and usually gives them teasing cute nicknames. She has the appearance of a 18-19 year old but is 200+ years old and can be ruthless and bloodthirsty if you piss her off when fighting. She has exotic colored skin with hip length crazy crimson hair and gold eyes that flash red, has a curvaceous body and a big bust. She likes to fire dance and sing in her native language when alone but enjoys taking care of kids and is very good at art

A/N: in my rules it says I don't do oc(s) but since you didn't know I will write it for you

Thace's p.o.v

After Keith jumped down the only exit I found myself thinking about my s/o Rize, I wish I had more time to be with her or tell her how I feel, she knows already but I want her to her it in person on last time.

She's perfect in everyway, her body is pretty amazing too, she ages really well, even though the only thing she told me about her age is that she over 200, she looked like the in her late teens early twentys, but that's not the reason I choose her at all, that's not even the tiniest bit of why I choose her.

I guess it's everything combined.

Most people wouldn't trust her, but that's because they don't know her, they see her as harsh and kinda like a bitch, but honestly she's one of the most caring people I have met in a a long long time.

She is cruel and brass, but she has her reasons, to others she comes of strong, I don't know if she does it on purpose, but I know she's had a hard childhood, she's a fire devil after all.

Sometimes I feel kinda weak in comparison, but everytime it got hard it she made it easier for me.

I love her to pieces, she is real... she's not afraid to be herself, her personality it unique, she's unique, that one of the things I love very much about her.

She has beautiful long hair, when we are together she'd let by braid it, afterwards she'd tell me the braid sucked, and she'd keep it in anyways.

Her eyes are bright yellow, I like to tell her they hold gold and rubies, of course she hates it but they are beautiful.. and I love them... I love her.

She's probably be mad at my for leaving her alone... I'm mad at me for leaving her alone.

We were going to get married, and have kids.. she loves kids, she'd be an amazing mother honestly.

She's very artsy, and loves to create stuff, she's an amazing artist, she's really good at everything though.

She's a skilled fighter, almost better than myself, I watch her train all the time, sometimes it scary though, because she can be quite cruel when fighting, also very very deadly.

She loves to dance and sing when she thinks she's alone, it's adorable to watch her do so, once she invited me to dance with her.. I told her I don't dance.. I regret that... I wish I said yes, especially now...

But she deserves the best, and being a spy I always knew I couldn't give it to her because I wasn't able to be there, but I'd spilt the galaxy in half to be with her, I'd kill Zarkon myself to be able to kiss her amazing soft lips just once more, I'd kill my whole race to be able to say good by to the love of my life.

A/N: it's sad I apologize!!! But I thought It might be better if I made Rize his last thoughts