#If my old art was this good I'd be proud of myself

[olderthannetfic]

I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.

For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.

Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.

So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.

And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.

So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?

--

Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.

Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.

Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.

Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.

--

As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.

If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.

--

But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.

The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.

--

Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?

Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.

Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.

Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.

[vulturereyy]

Y'all I just realized... March 10th is officially Lurimol's first anniversary. And also kind of my anniversary of really getting super into hollow knight?

Sh. Should I do something?

[vinyls-and-valentines]

I have a type don't i?

[aklaustaleteller]

On One Condition

Klaus feels bad for messing up Y/n's exam preparation schedule, so he asks her what it is that he can do to 'earn her forgiveness'. Yet somehow, he manages to put up a condition when she asks him to help her with an art project...

Warnings - none, really. Word Count - 1.4k

So, I was rewriting an old fic when I decided to write a little backstory, i.e. this fic, and I hope you guys like it! I'll be posting part two within the next two days so yay!

Update: You can now read part two here!

She was something else, a feisty one who liked a good chase. And Klaus should've noted that from miles away. But he was too deep in now, and he wasn't going to back down until he had her.

He was waiting outside the school to catch Stefan, have a chat with him and warn him against trying to harm him because telling him off meant telling off the entire group, and Klaus found that lovely.

And he had just caught sight of Stefan when he saw her behind him, her hair bun not so tight as hair stands fell out and framed her face. She was walking with another girl who seemed to be trying profusely to convince Y/n of something -- probably a party if Klaus were to guess but he felt himself tuning in when she walked in a closer range to him.

"I really cannot do it, Vicki. Please try to understand that I'm myself giving exams right now," he heard her say, and then saw as she put her hand on her shoulders. There was softness in her voice that he'd never wished previously to be directed at him.

Bringing her in for a hug, Y/n explained herself again, as if she felt bad for denying whatever it was that Vicky wanted. "I would've helped you out had I not missed out on my preparation earlier. I’ve quite literally been studying the night before for each exam." She smiled, with what emotion Klaus couldn't quite see, but he found it beautiful, nonetheless.

"Why don't you ask Elena? I'm sure that way you'll bump into Jeremy a couple times as well," Y/n grinned, passing the squinting brunette a quick wink before turning back towards the exit with a sigh of relief.

Though it only took a couple steps for her to bump into Klaus, not so accidently. She'd seen him the moment she'd gotten out of the gates, and the fact that she had to pass him in order to reach her car only made her feel... more positive, let’s say.

She hadn't gone out of her way to slam into him, but he had. And the only other thing she has to blame is her spiteful walk that led the one library book she'd borrowed to topple out of her grip.

"Klaus, back off," she gritted, quickly picking up her book and moving once he did.

"It's not my fault, you know, that you bumped into me," Klaus said with a lure in his voice that suggested he just wanted to rile her up. "I'd apologize to me," he shrugged, a lopsided grin pulling up on his face when he noticed her turning.

"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself but that'd be a cruel and unusual punishment," she bit back, pressing her key to unlock the car.

"Please, save your breath. You'd probably need it to blow up your next date," Klaus teased, remembering the night Klaus had crashed her date and scared off the guy by doing nothing, really.

Sighing, Y/n gripped the steering wheel of her car and closed her eyes for a second. "Say something else and this book will become a lethal weapon," her voice was agitated as she warned him, and when he truly backed away with a proud grin on his face, she finally pulled back and drove home, daring to spare him a glance in her rear-view mirrors, an angry blush creeping up her neck when she caught his eyes.

Once she reached home, she didn't bother to lay out her clothes before jumping into her shower. Still, she buttoned up a loose striped cotton shirt and pulled her underwear up her legs. It didn't take her long to just decide on a pair of pyjama shorts.

After a good bowl of salad for lunch, she brought out her schoolwork to just do it on the porch considering the nice weather. But of course, that was a mistake because soon into her immersive study session, she was disturbed by loud clashing noises coming from the house across hers, Elena's house.

Taking a deep breath, she was just getting up when she caught sight of Damon and Stefan inside the house, speeding towards each other. It was purely for the dramatics, she was sure, considering the fact they wouldn't kill each other, they simply didn't have it in them.

She just felt sorry for Elena's dishes, maybe some of her furniture as well.

Twisting the knob she had just pushed the door in to go back inside the house when she heard a voice behind her. "Too noisy, aren't they?"

Klaus.

"You already messed up my preparation schedule once, Klaus. Do not dare to do it again," she said calmly, though her grip on the knob was probably tighter than normal.

With that, she decided to cross the line and enter her home. Then she turned around to face him, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to mess with her either.

"I came here to apologise, and perhaps, make up for the troubles I've caused you," he admitted, looking at her with such sincere eyes that she could've given in right then.

"And how do you plan on doing that? Plus, if this is a joke, I still have that book with me."

"You tell me what it is that will earn me your forgiveness," he said dramatically, making her look down to hide something from him, maybe a smile.

Opening the door wider, she looked at him and then hesitated a little. "Don't make me regret this," she said. "Come in, please."

Klaus was caught a bit off guard but managed to get inside, his eyes wandering right away to take in her house.

"I'm not sure how to word this really, so I'm just going to say it." Taking a breath, she sat on one of the dining table chairs and urged for him to do so too, getting a little flustered when he took the one right by her side and shifted so that he was turned towards her.

"What is it, love?"

"This might be a little ridiculous for you but it's very serious for me," she told him while maintaining eye contact to make sure he understood the situation.

Klaus simply nodded for her to go on, now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"I know you paint, quite impressively, might I add but that's not the point here," she quickly shut the topic before Klaus could tease her.

"The point is, I have this art project that I said yes to under pressure because my favourite teacher asked me to. But were you to see even my handwriting, you'd know I'm no good at it. The most I can draw is a stick figure and even that's wonky sometimes," she admitted bashfully.

"I used to have a friend who'd do it for me, but she left town last year and now... I don't really have anyone who would," she let out a breath at that, her eyes closed in anticipation of his answer.

"So, you wish for me to help you out with this said art project?"

Sitting stiffly, she nodded.

"Okay then. I'll do it... but what is it?"

"Oh great!" She cheered; happiness evident on her face. "It's supposed to be this super zoomed in image of either a grapefruit, or a pomegranate."

Klaus leaned back in his chair then, sighing as he considered it. "I will do it on one condition," he proposed.

"And that is?"

"You will stay with me in my studio when I'm painting it," he shrugged, as if it wasn't so much a big deal.

"But were you not doing this for my forgiveness?" She narrowed her eyes, but when he began to get off the chair, she struggled for some answer to come out of her mouth before he could leave.

"Okay, okay! I will!" She agreed immediately, sitting back down in defeat when he remained standing, a smile on his face.

"I'll go now." He said, walking backwards towards the door and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. He could've teased her about it but decided against it.

"Come by my house tomorrow, around three or four… your wish," he said before turning to open the door.

He turned back to see her reaction and a smile crept up on his mouth when he saw her smiling back at him.

"I will," she told him while waving him goodbye, stopping just before he sped off with his dead heart beating a mile an hour. 

[mcromwell]

Genuine question, sorry if it's dumb -

How do you work when there's something on the line? I find I freeze, and it's just so much more difficult to properly organize myself to produce something I'm proud of. But you've been to conventions, and you sell your work, so I'm assuming you feel pressure at least *sometimes.* do you work with it? Around it?

Hey Tymbul, it's not a dumb question, it's actually a really good one. I can only answer it to the best of my own abilities, in regards to my own art and practice, so mileage may vary.

This feeling of something being is "on the line" was what burned me out hard in 2019/20. I'd been making and sharing art for decades and all the while my thoughts took the shape of, "it has to be GOOD, it has to SAY something, it needs to hit X and Y requirement to be worthy" etc. Wherever that habit of pressuring myself came from, it wasn't helpful. I would glare at the blank page and curse every sketch I made because it (and by extension, myself) wasn't ever good enough.

I knew something had to change, so I changed. I began trying to make art with no pressure. Instead of pushing myself I let my foot off the brake. I changed the way I talked to myself about art. "I'm going to make this as good as I can. And if I can't, there's always next painting." I began starting a piece with fast, easy, not-precious stuff--random paint smears, doodles, gesture sketches. The pressure was off when all I had to do was start with trash and play around. If it just wasn't working and I had to scrap it or start over, oh well, it was just trash. I still run into this pressure today, though. Growth ain't linear and all that. Old habits die hard. I have to snap myself out of it with a feral screeching JUST THROW PAINT ON IT RRRRRRRRGH and I can usually let up on the brakes enough to get it going. It's a journey.

I like to think of this in terms of dog training. If you punch your dog and yell at it, that dog is going to have fear and doubt and won't be a healthy dog capable of performing the tasks you ask of it. But if you use positive reinforcement, they develop confidence and become dependable and sturdy. If you sit down to make art and every time its a barrage of IT HAS TO BE GOOD! YOU HAVE TO BE PROUD OF IT! EVERY NEW PIECE HAS TO BE BETTER! IF IT ISN'T YOU'LL BE A FAILURE! WHY AREN'T YOU DRAWING YET then man, that dog is cowering in the corner, it is not going to sit or fetch or anything. What if instead you said, "Okay! Time to make something. Let's do warm-ups and thumbnails to prepare so I'm ready to jump in. I am open to surprising myself by making something I'm excited about, but I won't beat myself up if today isn't that day. I know by doing this I'm practicing and getting better, it is never a waste." You are much more likely to Do a Thing if that thing feels good to do. That's just being an animal, man. Positive feedback.

To be honest, though, I still haven't found a successful way to make commissions less like pulling teeth. My method of art-making is to fuck around and find out and that's not a conducive method for a comm, which usually has a ton more expectation and strict parameters and my nemesis: Should-Look-Like. I am good at some things, I am not good at comms. Progress is not linear. I am still learning. My efforts to let up on the brakes made it so the car was a lot harder to control... for better or worse.

Hope this helps. Mostly, my advice is to find out how making art can feel good to you and then make a ton of it. Make more art than you think you should. It gets easier. And don't punch your dog.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Random (Spoilers)

IWTV's the type of show you need SEVERAL hours to unpaack--this is just the odds & ends I don't have as much to comment on. (I've queued five Ep4 musings for this evening, that are way more character/plot-heavy.)

Go AWF, Eglee! (Now I get why she lunged at Celeste like that--she was after Eglee's man!)

If someone don't get this Bilbo Baggins lookin arse ghoul TF off Louis' case--!

Sure, Mr. I Do Not Consider Myself Abused.

I hope they do, Louis, I'm not even joking. I'd love to see a whole new wave of TVC-based academia come out in AMC's wake. There's A LOT to chew on.

Get this pretty bish off my dang screeeeen.

At first I thought Daniel was referring to Lestat here, but Les isn't Lou's biographer. But I guess he meant because Les was commenting so much on everything in Louis' life at that time.

That cuck chair cost 10 million dollars, Armand.

I feel SO bad for him, if he didn't realize HOW MUCH Lestat was around--I KNOW Louis hallucinated Les while they were banging. 😬

😱

🤦

Daniel, you gigantic unmitigated MORON. 🤦 WHYYYYYYY would you reveal your hand like that?! This dude is SLIPPING. 😩

So Loumand kept dead victims saran-wrapped (bleh) in their flat, and let Daniel just stroll on in--"don't be afraid, just start the tape." No wonder Daniel called it a "dump."

Who's being reported missing/dead on the news? What's Armand mean by that being "enterprising/fascinating"? Daniel's penchant for following the scoop on gritty gory crimes?

But then Armand implied that in high school Daniel raped a girl and made her wear a paper bag over her head so he wouldn't have to look at her, not caring when she cried. 😱 And it was that "splinter of coldness in you" that made him fascinating to Armand. GOD. Anne Rice would be proud.

Louis look ready to reach over and wring Daniel's neck. 😅

Bienecke Library in New Haven is at Yale--they collect rare books & stuff. Lemme find out the Talamasca's posted up there. "Post-war reconstruction of Paris"--that's good, nice work, COLLECT YOURSELF.

Psst! I wouldn't touch that, knowing where it's been. 🤢🐀🐀🐀

Not this knockoff Lestat strutting around in housecoats. 😂

😨 I'm boycotting AMC & cancelling my AMC+ subscription.

So Loumand/Armand's art dealing was Louis' thing initially--I like it! He needs a job. I can imagine him at Sothebys or Christies or something.

If only Armand knew Florence told Louis "Don't come back, fragile son...." Louis and Marius both managed to capture the soul of Armand in art--I need to lay down.

THIS CREEP'S TRYNA STEAL ARMAND'S PHOTO! 😱 What a wanker! Literally! Dang, even in the 1940s Armand's not safe from pervs! 😩

Is this thievin pervin swindlin a-hole tryna warn MY Louis!?

(YES, actually, Louis; you DO.) Was it that Alois creep? Did Lou EVER have the correct photos? Is there a Talamasca mole in the archival staff? (Is it Rashid, LOL?) Or, god forbid, Alderman Fenwick was right all along (boo!): "You're a dumb pimp who got robbed blind years ago." A SPY'S afoot!

The jumpscares this episode are RELENTLESS! That startled me! 😅 And OUCH about the ageism. (NO ONE stood around clutching their pearls when Armand chokeslammed a little Black girl not THIRTY SECONDS AGO, but suddenly everyone's aghast that Armand hemmed up this old buffoon?!)

The SOUND I just made. XD

The coup's already happened--Loumand just doesn't know it yet. U_U

[readychilledwine]

we want the juicy details on your sexual awakening

It's not that juicy. It's actually fairly sad, but someone else may be at this point and need to hear it.

Warning - questionable consent, technically a form of sex work, total power exchange, abusive relationships, mental health issues, learning to adapt, and becoming a survivor instead of a victim.

I was a really really good kid and teen. Like I addressed, I got my kicks from fanfiction. I dated once in high school, and it never went further than kissing (which caused my first break up and broken heart). My first "What is happening to my body," came from watching The Mummy, and it wasn't something I could discuss with anyone besides my older brother who did the best he could to try to talk to me about safe sex.

I moved away from my parents in 2014 and went to a college about 4 hours away. Aka- close enough to mom and dad to drive home once every couple months, not close enough for them to randomly show up. I was an art major focusing on art history and visual design, and that required me to take a life drawing class.

Tender 18 year old Liz, a starving college student working two jobs, ended up catching the eye of one of the male models, and we started talking a lot. I found out after a month of him taking me on dates, surprising me with gifts, and him staying up with me when I'd be lonely because I didn't live on campus have friends, that he was married and him and his wife were looking for a girlfriend for him since she had a boyfriend on the side. I don't regret this choice because it shaped who I am today, but I stupidly agreed to go into it without having set my own boundaries and limits.

He had rules for me. Rules I can recite clearly to this day: he dresses me, I do not make financial choices without him, I am to tell him where I was at all times and leave my tracker on, he decides what I eat and when, no drinking, no smoking, and no other partners. If I listened, he would pay my tuition, books, help with rent, etc. At the time, I did not realize that I was entering a total power exchange dynamic, and he knew that.

Those starter rules evolved into more... sex based rules, and after 3 months, I ended up losing my virginity to him after he told me refusing was breaking his rules, and if I broke his rules, my allowance was cut off, and I really needed help with rent, friends. I am not proud of that decision, but that decision was made.

I stayed in this relationship with him hanging financial security and my own naivety over my head for close to 10 months. My dad is a law enforcement officer, and he is the one who noticed the change in my personality and looks.

I had waist length dark brown hair. I came home blonde with my hair cut to my lower neck. I stopped wearing Converse and Vans and started wearing heels and sandles more. I would get really anxious and upset if I wasn't near my phone or could not find it to meet my required check-ins. I cried. Alot. Yelling made me actually panic. My dad made me sit down with a female investigator and answer questions about everything.

When she was done and confirmed to him what was happening, he then proceeded to get my brothers, a uHaul, and my apartment keys and move me back home. He had my phone bill at that point, so he blocked the couple, her boyfriend, and their friends that I had the displeasure of meeting and ensured I never heard from them again.

Cohearsed consent is not consent. The second I started therapy and realized that, I spiraled. The weight of everything set in, and I realized I had been a victim of sexual assault. I began to cope by being hypersexual. Within a year, I'd had sex with close to 30 people trying to reclaim my body and, in turn, endangering myself until I met my ex fiancé.

When I met him, things changed significantly. He was a stepping stone in my healing and helped me find religion and value in myself beyond my body. Ironically, my healing and finding the wrong religion (catholics don't seem to be a fan of spirituality) is what led to our engagement being called off. I was 21 when we stopped seeing each other.

I slowed down at that point signicantly and cut off all sex. I was done with it and decided never again. I could please me better than anyone else could anyways. Then, I met baby daddy, and we started as strictly friends with benefits. He is the safest dom I've ever had, the kindest man I've ever met, and from the bat, he understood me more than I understood me. He saw me for me and cared for me despite the damaged goods.

He triggered the true awakening. We took sex between us slow, exploring things gently, talking about what I wanted to try and keeping track of what I liked, what he liked, and meeting in a happy middle. He indulged my want to explore with other women and just sat and watched. Then, when we felt I was ready, he introduced me to the swinging/bdsm lifestyle, and it helped me process the remaining bits of trauma I had with him beside me every step of the way. He helped shape me sexually into who I needed to be to heal and then who I deserved to be sexually for me.

I don't know at what point FwB turned into us living together and telling each other how much the other means to us almost daily, but now we're here, cuddling on couch, exhausted from taking care of our daughter, and discussing which one of us gets the last chocolate peanut butter overnight oats packet and *whispers* marriage.

Him and Sophia are the happy ending 18 year old Liz thought she was losing when she was desperate to pay rent. He helped me heal, learn who I was in terms of sex, and gave me the safest place to land.

One might say I'm pretty attached to him forever now 🤣

Ps - let me tell ya, missionary isn't boring when it's with someone who thinks you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, pregnancy stretch marks, and all. 💕

[galaxybooper]

I promised myself I would try posting my edits on Tumblr, especially those I'm most proud of. So here's Cole and some headcanons I have for him!

Cole is Afro-Colombian-Chinese due to Lou being a Chinese surname and Lilly coming from Latin America. Colombia has the biggest African population in all of Latin America. (Also, I've lived here for 10+ years, so I'm hella biased.)

Smells like a mix of sage and pine

Cole is like Disney's Hercules. You get Cole not knowing why he’s been weirdly stronger than the other kids, and he’s been called a freak because of it. With his dad wanting him to be something he isn’t and these brand new powers, he feels lost, unsure of where he belongs. This doesn’t get better when he’s forced to go to the academy. So, he drops out and tries to find his own way. It wasn’t until he met with Sensei Wu that he finally got the answers he wanted. Understanding his powers, understanding a part of who he is, and, most importantly, starting the journey to understand where he belongs

With or without his element, he is very strong. I headcanon that he has a rock climber's body, but he also has the most muscles in the ninja team. I like to think Cole often lifts weights to help boost his super strength, which has come in handy when he lost his element before. Seeing Ninjago for the second time, I've noticed that when the ninja lose their element due to circumstances, Cole is still really strong. Like in Season 1, during the GD finale, when he threw a car at the GD.

Cole was the ninja team leader until Sons of Garmadon when Lloyd was mentally old enough to try the leadership role. I strongly stand firm to this because after Lloyd was aged physically by Tomorrow's Tea, there's no way he should have been the leader at such a young age.

Cole's hobbies include rock climbing, archery, dancing, drawing, and cooking.

Cole is actually a good cook. After Lilly died, he had to cook for himself and his dad for many years. The only reason his cooking fails is that people tamper with his recipes; thus, they don't end up so good.

In honor of Kirby Morrow (RIP KING!), Cole doesn't just like cake. His favorite is Ice Cream Cake, especially hot Fudge Swirl Chocolate Ice Cream Cake.

Cole, minus Zane, because he was homeschooled by Dr Julien, has the most education of the ninjas. He went to school for quite a few years extra compared to the others and went to the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts before he dropped out two or three days later. I'd like to think Cole actually liked school and learning, but when his dad forced the performing arts on him, his love for school was immediately cut short.

Cole would have gotten into an art degree if he hadn't been forced into the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts. He seems to really enjoy drawing and sketching.

Cole is hairy. He can't grow a moustache to save his life, but he has hair on his legs, arms, and chest. Maybe in his future, he'll finally grow something on his face but as of right now (not counting DR seasons), he can only dream of the glorious beard or moustache he will have.

[sciderman]

it feels quite poetic to read about how you prefer writing the blog over drawing it. you put so much effort into the art, and you've built your entire career around art, but it feels like your passion lies on the side of literature. i'm kind of going through the reverse, where i'm pursuing a higher education in writing but have recently wondered if i should've done animation instead because i love it so damn much.

i dunno. life is weird.

heh! it is a funny old world - i mean, i've always loved writing, and i actually have been writing long before i got into drawing. i used to write short stories as a kid. like a little freak. what kid is into writing. but i was. but the only person who was ever interested to read my stories was my dad. you know, if a kid hands a page of words at you what are you gonna do with it. my dad thought i was awesome, though. i think he was extra proud because he's a writer too. thought his little one was following in his footsteps. i fancied myself a little novelist. but you know. it was hard to get people to want to read my stories.

there was another kid that was good at drawing that got all the attention. and i said. "well. i could do that." and so then i started drawing. i started making comics, really. i took my stories and drew them out, and suddenly people got interested in my stories.

everyone is so alice-coded. you know.

i made comics. i rarely drew without there being a story and dialogue attached to it. i filled sketchbooks upon sketchbooks with comics. it wasn't really art for art's sake - it wasn't because i wanted to get good at drawing - not really, it was a vessel for my jokes and for my stories. so no matter how crude the illustrations were, it was fine as long as i got the joke or story across. i think you might notice that with my comics still - they're not very polished and i don't labour a lot of time over the art, i don't really care to render everything perfect - i like things loose and quick and imperfect. i'm not very precious. as long as it gets the story across.

so it's funny, really - i started drawing because i wanted to spotlight my writing and get people to read it. i just have to spoon feed it to people, is all. sweeten the deal with pretty pictures. then people will read. so i never left writing. never, never. it was kind of always at the heart of everything i did. i guess i pursued animation because it was a marriage of a lot of things i was interested in. writing, storytelling, drawing - and acting. i was a stupid little theatre kid. and to be a good animator, or any kind of visual storyteller, i think - you need to be a good actor. and you need a good sense of humor. if you don't have those things, you'll be a rotten animator, i think.

i think i'm still in the place where writing was my first love, and i enjoy it the most - but, still in the place where - when there aren't pictures attached, you don't get people's attention. and i love attention.

for a time i really thought i should quit animation and pursue a career in screenplay writing - but, i don't... really know how to go about it. and i'd definitely miss art. i really really love things like character design and visual development and visual storytelling far too much to restrict myself to writing exclusively. but - i don't know, in my free time, when i'm not on the clock, well - writing is more laid back, and more relaxing. less taxing. so i enjoy doing it more. in my free time.

(it may also be because writing isn't a huge part of my day job, so it feels more like an escape. that's why i don't really animate at all when i'm not getting paid for it. i don't do animation for fun. i have fun doing it, sure, but i won't do it unless i'm cutting a check from it. because i don't have the energy for it otherwise. if i'm not making money, i want to do something relaxing, that doesn't feel like work. and that's writing.)

[duhragonball]

It's my birthday today, and the local grocery store was thoughtful enough to stock the Dragon Ball Z Reese's Puffs, so I'm gonna try it out. Join me, won't you?

I still can't believe this is real. I mean, Reese's Puffa is kind of surreal enough as it is. It sounds like some satirical brand meant to poke fun at sugary kids' cereals. The box says "Made with REAL REESE'S Peanut Butter", the same way a fruit-flavored beverage will claim to contain genuine fruit.

The bowl on the box art is a Reese's cup, so it basically depicts candy being served in more candy. I'm old enough to remember when they would photograph cereal as "part of a complete breakfast", and there'd be grapefruits and toast and maybe a hard boiled egg. Basically they were admitting that the cereal was so unhealthy that you needed to eat three or four other breakfasts to make up for it. I just liked the photos because they were so picturesque. Ah, to have unlimited free time to prepare a leisurely 4-course breakfast while reading the paper. I just assumed everyone else was having toast with their cereal except my family, but yeah, it never really made any sense.

I haven't even gotten to Goku yet, but first I want to talk about his spoon. I don't think we see him holding a spoon very often. He's usually a chopsticks kind of guy, or he'll just use his bare hands or even dunk his head into the bowl. It kind of looks like a ladle when he holds it like that, which implies he cooked this bowl of candy soup all by himself, and he's showing it off like a proud chef. This spoon kicks ass, is what I'm trying to say.

But the real reason I bought this is because of that orange hillbilly who needs no introduction. I wasn't even looking for Reese's Puffs. It was the furthest thing from my mind. No, I was stocking up on the old-man cereal I require to survive, when I just saw him staring at me, with his friendly-yet-confident smile. Goku's not pressuring you to buy the cereal. He's sure you'll enjoy it, but it's okay if you want to take a pass. He'll just enjoy all this peanut butter chocolate goodness all by himself. Goku is truly the ideal spokesman. How can you say no to this lovable hunk?

I'm kind of out of touch when it comes to cereal marketing, but I'm pretty sure this sort of cross-promotion is a rarity. Like, they once put WWE wrestlers on Wheaties or something, but usually if the cereal companies want a cartoon on the box they'll just make their own character. Or if the cartoon people want to put their guy in the cereal aisle, they'll just commission a whole new cereal just for that brand. C-3PO had his own cereal for a while. It was pretty good!

What I'm saying is that it's kind of unusual to see a popular character like this on a cereal box. The only exception I can come up with is Fred Flintstone on Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles, but I always assumed that those were specifically "Flintstones Cereal".

Other than that, yeah, I can't think of any other examples of cartoon characters appearing on unaffiliated cereal boxes like this. Well, I drew my DBZ OC on a box of All-Bran today, but I don't think that counts.

"MY FIBER IS MAXIMUM, KAKAROT!"

I wondered what was up with the picture of Piccolo on the back of the box, and it turns out that he's one of seven different characters you can find on the back of the box. Collect them all! Aw man, that Cell one looks fucking sick! I don't know how they distributed these. Maybe they roll them out in waves and Piccolo's came first. Or maybe it's random and I might have found a Cell if I'd checked more boxes at the store. Well, Piccolo's pretty good. I guess.

All right, I just poured myself a bowl and Goku's cereal is gonna have to set course for Planet Oat. The dairy industry may not applaud my shopping choices, but I like oat milk because it doesn't spoil as quickly as cow milk, and it's got a nice oat-y flavor that compliments the cardboard taste of All-Bran.

I did not put Dawn liquid soap in my cereal. This time.

So what's the verdict here? Well, the first few bites were pretty tasty, and then I realized I was getting kind of sick of this as I made my way to the bottom of the bowl. The peanut butter flavor overwhelms everything. It has a very strong odor, so if you like Reese's peanut butter cups you can just sit this out in your room and savor the aroma. I barely registered any chocolate flavor at all. I mean, I believe they put it there, but the peanut butter is the whole story to this.

It's basically Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes, only this is a special Peanut Butter variant they made. I never really appreciated the jokes about sugary cereals before. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and the like, but there were a certain class of cereals that my mom would just refuse to buy. My grandparents would have them, but I never really understood the difference between Frosted Flakes and Honey Smacks. As I got older, I ate less cereal in general, but that was mostly because I fell out of the habit of eating breakfast altogether.

But now I'm 47, and the only cereal I eat these days is bran topped with diced peaches and a couple of packets of artificial sweetener, so Reese's Puffs is way, way too sugary for my palate. It's not bad, but a little goes a long way for me.

When I was a kid, old people were always griping about all the stuff they couldn't eat anymore. I remember Isaac Asimov writing mournfully about how he couldn't have an Oreo cookie, which bummed me out because that was my favorite cookie back then, and it seemed that the fate of all humanity was to be denied the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

Now, I realize that a lot of the stuff that you liked as a kid just doesn't age up with you. Your tastes change, and you gain appreciations for new things that you wouldn't have appreciated before. That's not a bad thing. It's life. Things change, and you change along with them.

Well, you and I do, anyway. Not Goku, whose Saiyan biology keeps him looking exactly the same for sixty years so he can eat all the sweetened corn puffs he wants. But I don't envy him, is what I'm trying to say. I'm watching a wrestling show on PPV tonight, my mom took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, and I drew on a cereal box. I can't complain.

[letoasai]

No one remembers Anime Spiral

What do kids even do on the internet? I'm genuinely asking. Everything revolves around social media and that's fine but what do they do. Are their cool things they can do anymore?

There used to be websites and you would just wander the internet on the family computer. Newgrounds. Gaia Online. Neopets. Yahoo Games. Quizzila. Live Journal... I'm not saying they were all great but they were something to do and... no i'll commit, they were great. I wasn't worried about posting pictures of myself when i was busy watching a flash animation of Dragonball Z that someone put painstaking hours into.

A lot of younger kids and teens don't know how to download something and save it to a particular folder on their computer because they've never used a computer. Meanwhile we were somehow... coding our Myspace pages to have a particular background. When did we acquire that knowledge?

In 2004/2005 i went looking for Inuyasha pictures, as one did, and i stumbled upon a site of people posting fanfiction? Sign me up... Anime Spiral was the wild west of chaos fanfic writers. People would make banners for their work that would sit in their summary sections. God help you, but those seizure inducing flashing colors were going to get your attention.

People would write anything, stories, poems, lyrics. People would post art and open commissions for people to ask for things in the comments, and the OP would just do it... There were frantic collaborations. Some were really good. Some were really bad.

There were chaotic originally stories with random anime characters thrown in for fun because who was going to tell them they couldn't? Some people just ranted to anime characters and i will always remember Ask Sesshomaru where you'd ask Sesshomaru a question in the comments and the next chapter he would answer every.single.question. The fact that it was probably a 16 year old girl writing that just didn't matter.

Some people just posted picture of anime characters. They did all the internet searches so you didn't have to! They were harder to find then.

The comment/response section to this day... was the best format i've seen on a fanfic site (imo). It was so easy. I miss it! I miss going to my word processing class and pulling up that site and chatting with people in the freaking comments of whatever...terrible story i'd posted at the time. I was probably so proud of it then but yikes...

The notification system was good and it was easy to talk to people without it feeling intrusive.

Maybe Anime Spiral was Tumblr before Tumblr.

I met two strangers on Anime Spiral a week apart. Internet dangers weren't as obvious then as they seem now. Those two strangers became two of my best friends. It's been nearly twenty years and they are still so prevalent in my life.

I met my best friend on that site. That seems so impossible to me now. We never would have met otherwise and i can't imagine my life without them. We were so upset when Anime Spiral went down. We missed the ugly green and mustard yellow template to this day.

It wasn't a great site, it had it's problems... It had a lot of problems but at the same time, it was a great site. It's hard to find people who even remember Anime Spiral anymore. Going to FF .net or Fiction Press afterwards felt like... a downgrade somehow. The systems overly complicated and it lacked...something.

I do enjoy the hell out of AO3, it actually checks all the boxes for a great writing site, but i'll always remember the chaotic nostalgia of Anime Spiral.

What do kids do on the internet now? Is it safe? Is it just selfies, gossip, and bullying? Do you have a little dragon you can take care of? Neopets could take up a lot of their attention. I don't think 2024 Neopets is the same as 2005 Neopets and that's a shame.

I have no idea. I feel old.

[pouralaura]

writer interview game

tagged by @pricemarshfield, thank you as always for giving me the opportunity to talk about myself

When did you start writing?

pretty much as soon as I could hold a pencil tbh - I was always the kid who had notebooks full of stories featuring my friends as characters; said friends would always be eager to read my latest updates. I started trying my hand at fanfiction around age 11 or 12, always written in a shitty wide-ruled notebook.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

themes/genres? not really. I write what I want to read. I'd say the biggest difference between what I write and what I read is length - I don't write plot well for more than a couple of chapters. I can do vignettes, shorts, or a few chapters up to 20k words or so and that's as far as the plot part of my brain gets, oops

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

here's a link to my favorite fic of all time. be warned; it's Mad Men stepdad/stepdaughter (very distant, everyone is of age). I've read it a thousand times and it's influenced my writing style so fuckin much. this author writes a lot of stupidly good shit too if you like this one

I don't really get compared to anyone (at least, not to my face) which is fine. I don't know if I want to be.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

it's wherever I am, but mostly at my office desk in our spare bedroom with my rainbow glowy mechanical keyboard and a nice-smelling candle. sometimes I listen to nine inch nails

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

read something else, by someone else. look at somebody else's art. find something that speaks to you in something you didn't do. search for that point of connection, that thing that you feel too, and let it make you think differently about something you've been looking at the same way for a while

also watch a horny tv show or movie that helps too

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

indecision, reluctance, stubbornness, hot old men. this is not surprising to me

What is your reason for writing?

to entertain myself, first and foremost. like I said, I write the stuff I wanna read. and I don't think I had a good reason for writing until I started doing that. I always used to write what I thought I was supposed to write, or what would make my friends ooooh and ahhhh. I guess I still do that to some extent but it's sickos only baby

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I love when someone points out a favorite line. it's usually one that I had in my head for a super long time; one that I wrote first, before anything else. makes me feel Understood

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

as just some guy! because I am! I've made such good friends on the internet from writing my dumb bullshit, please feel free to be one of them! love to chat and share opinions and invent scenarios and what-ifs. I'm also just a thirty-year-old woman sitting in my little house doing my silly little job and it's really fun to meet people who are also doing Exactly That but make time to create in a similar way.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I've been very kindly complimented on this numerous times and I think it's fairly accurate - if I write a character, I take Great Pains to ensure that their voice is accurate. I exploit their flaws for views. (raphael I am talking about you) I make it funnier and sadder until it feels real - or, as real as I can make it in a fantasy setting.

How do you feel about your own writing?

it's better than it's ever been because, again, I am finally writing what I want to read. it's visceral and silly and fun and horny in a way that makes me really proud of myself!

I think all my writer buddies on here have been tagged already, but if I missed you or you wanna participate please feel free!

[xinnamonbun]

Got Nostalgic

So I decided to look at some old Inanimate Insanity humanizations I did a couple years back. I'm pretty sure I did these RIGHT when season 3 released. Good times-

(Looks)

...

AAAAAAAAÆ-

Below will be humanizations of: Soap, Bow, Paintbrush, Blueberry, Goo, Cabby, Test Tube, Cherries, Taco, Apple, Fan, Lightbulb, Suitcase, Balloon, Lifering, Microphone, Marshmallow, Nickel, and Yin-Yang

⚠️ WARNING OLD ART ⚠️

Off to a great start...the soap hair tie is almost cute...almost. (also I'd like to mention that I only knew like three types of shoes so you're going to be seeing these once or twice)

It's... Okay. This is one of the better ones we're going to see. Why does she have ballerina shoes???

I was really really bad at drawing guys and was much better at drawing girls (not that that was very good either). Paintbrush being an entirely different thing made me nervous that I was going to make them too masculine or too feminine. I remember being SO proud of myself... And like this one isn't terrible... But why are they wearing ice skates- (they're not supposed to be ice skates but that is NOT lined up)

Not terrible. I think that this still gives Blueberry vibes it's mainly the shoes that are bugging me. But other than that it's not BAD.

I remember one of my cousins called him Caillou, I sobbed... I hate that they were right- I MADE HIM BALD

Did not know how to draw a wheelchairs (still don't but I hope I could do better than THIS) THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE CABBY. END OF STORY. I also don't want to talk about the dress- it's bad

I guess I don't hate this one. I don't love it either. This one is pretty much just "I could believe that's test tube" BUT THERE'S NO SPICE

I had this headcannon that one of the cherries was trans which is why they never spoke because they were self-conscious of their voice. Not the worst head Cannon but I just can't see it anymore. These outfits also just suck. And the return of the ice skates-

This is season 1 Taco specifically and the idea was upon show to hide the hands while having her fancy spy outfit underneath. With the little that you can see of the spy outfit it sucks. The top doesn't look super bad I guess. I also gave her little fangs that I decided to make gray for some reason so they blended into her skin.

I remember this one was my absolute FAVORITE like I thought this was peak character design. It's not that good but at the very least it's definitely the most okay one here... Except for the fact that APPLE'S KNEES ARE LIKE 5/8 DOWN HER LEG- WHO BROKE YOUR LEG?!? Also are those green jeans? Also return of the ice skates.

RONALD MCDONALD!!! IVE FOUND YOUR COUSIN- in case it wasn't clear (it isn't) this is Fan... Excuse me while I bash my head into the wall- WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION?!? AND ON TOP OF THAT WE HAVE ANOTHER CASE OF ICE SKATES- I swear if I see one more ice skate I'm going to lose it-

This is...kinda adorable??? The hair doesn't fit though. I still like the socks.

This one isn't THAT bad, it's just...the nose. The idea of her having a backpack to carry stuff is still cute. And-... Are those. Ice. Skates. (Inhale) AAAAAAAAÆ---

Burn it with fire. I didn't even like this one when I first drew it! I always had plans of redrawing it but I never did. In case you need clarification this is Balloon... In my slight justification for why he's wearing... that. I was originally going to give all of the returning season 3 contestants vacation clothes because they thought they were going on a vacation but I didn't really do this with any of the others so it just looks out of place and ugly.

I saw an ad around the time I drew this that showed a child missing their upper lip. I thought that that would be an interesting design choice for Lifering to to represent the hole in his face. I was correct that it's interesting. It being a good design choice before this art style is a different topic- still like the earring I gave him though.

I hate those fingers. They're so small. I hate it. I remember this was my favorite outfit, and now I don't like it that much. But I guess it's not THAT bad. It's still kinda bad.

This is Marshmallow. I needed to lead with that otherwise you wouldn't know who this is. This is straight up isn't marshmallow. That is some random girl that should not be trusted with hair dye.

This one is just...okay. at least compared to the other ones on this list. It's not the worst. It's DEFINITELY not the best. His hair is... Something. Also the return of the ice skates

This one is honestly just funny to me now. Yin just looks done (I feel you buddy) I really played around with a vitiligo (the reason why they have both pale and dark skin; look it up) and I do like the concept I had of this I just don't think I have the skills at the time to properly pull it off.

Wait...is that it? IM FREEEEEEE-

Bonus: (this was made before season 3 and I only found this because it was one of the reference images for my Bow humanization shown above)

You know what I said about Balloon? I take it back. Burn THIS with fire.

Ok NOW I'm free.

(for the record I give you full permission to bash me in the replies, in fact I encourage it. I'm planning on making redo's of these humanizations with my (hopefully better) art skills. So pointing out things that you didn't like in the previous designs or things that you think would be nice to add are greatly appreciated feedback)

[amouress16]

hi! I'm the vtsom + twst anon from sometime last year, finally decided to show myself >w< (decided to leave my old acc and start afresh, just to explain why this one looks like quite recent follower and not "longtime" as per my previous ask)

still verry interested in twst, do you have any recommendations for blogs of such I could follow and reblog from? (particularly ones focusing on Malleus, since he is my current fav and I am planning to ship my oc with him). and also, I've finally posted some vtsom art of my very own which I am somehow real proud of (tho it's on my sideblog, not this one I am talking from)

anyways excuse the ramble, just wanted to drop in! wish you well!

Hi hi! I remember your ask :)

Unfortunately I can't really recommend any Malleus focused blogs, cause I just don't follow any myself (I do really like Mal, I'm just avoiding book 7 spoilers as much as possible) but I can recommend some I like for Twst in general!

@suntails is a good blog for Diasomnia stuff in general, especially SIlver! There are some spoilers her blog, but they're tagged, so as long as you have spoiler tags blacklisted you should be all good.

@daily-trey is a favorite of mine and was of the first twst blogs I followed when I was getting into the fandom more last summer. It's a very funny Trey centric comic blog.

@twisting-in-wonderland and @twisted-wonderland-memories both post really pretty art! I love their coloring styles :)

@cheshirefangs has a cute 'Yuu in tsumderland' au, and also makes other twst art and mini comics.

And if you'd like to see some shippy stuff, there's options there too. @heartscrypt has a backlog of jamiazu (JamilxAzul) stuff, and Idekei (IdiaxCater) tidbits. They also have a Cater animatic that I still think about sometimes. @ryllen has some fun TreyJade comics and as of more recently, SebeYuu ones. And @oya-oya-okay/@oyakay has a lot of my personal favorite ship, azurido (AzulxRiddle) <3

There are others too of course! I'd highly suggest just hunting through the twisted wonderland tag, you're bound to find some art and maybe even some writing you'll enjoy.

(Sorry for any pings anyone didn't want, its just easiest to link blogs with tags ^^')

[nkogneatho]

okay i want to take this moment and talk about myself.

i started writing when i was 10. at that time they were just silly poetries and i won a lot of prizes for that but i never thought i'd ever be able to actually write fanfiction. thanks to quarantine, years later that became possible. i started digital art somewhere around 2020 and it was basic and boring but a start. i know this sounds stupid since i am not a professional writer neither i am that good at art but i don't want to compare myself. i am so proud of everything i've been doing lately and my improvements are making me so happy. it's silly. maybe it's overacting for something so small, but i've struggled with depression for 6 years and i got better when i picked up a pen, or a book or my guitar. my hobbies have helped me so much in life and i never expected to be good at any of them, but here i am. making progress. to the 10 year old me, i love you baby. i am so proud that you kept doing what you loved.

[danpuff-ao3]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Oooh, thanks for passing this to me, Lizzy! 😄 Let's see....100 fics, how to choose 5? 🤔 Well all know #1 already, don't we? 😂 So I'll take a leaf out of Lizzy's book and do a countdown to 1!

5.) A Matter of Time

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 3,686. Written for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt 2022. Features reverse chronology and alternating POVs! Also: ambiguous/open ending (my love!) It feels like the Snarry of my youth, that angsty and spicy student/teacher, and some good old fashioned tragedy! I really feel like I pulled the thing off with this one! (What is said "thing"? Who knows.) Also, not to pat myself on the back but...that final line? Ouch.

4.) Cruel Summer

Harry/Sirius. Rated: E. Words: 5,445. Minor Harry/Severus. Written for HP Chan Fest 2022-2023. Features gorgeous art by @mrviran. It's a fic I've had floating around my noggin' for a few years but finally felt the call to write for Chan Fest! Our two beloved, troubled boys (Harry and Sirius) live together post PoA, and sees them through plenty of dysfunction, manipulation, and other problematic content 🤭 They have a very complicated (and angsty!) connection and I am so so pleased with how it came out! It's very bit as spicy, sad, and twisted as I'd hoped!

3.) The Curse of Anteros

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 52,566. Written for Snarry Bang 2023. Inspired by an episode of Charmed called "Magic Hour" (which itself was inspired by a movie called Ladyhawke). This is another idea I've long wanted to write, but never knew how to write it until now. Curses, fairytales, magical animals, true love!! Begins with student/teacher and carries on through time to old men Snarry!!!! This fic really grew way out of control and I'm so glad it did. It feels like...a "proper" story, if that makes sense? Actual plot! Novel length! Who am I even???? Anyway I'm stupidly proud of this one. Also: ART BY MRVILLAIN AGAIN, MY BELOVED TEAMMATE, I'M OBSESSED. Like...idk I'm blown away. Which sounds bad cuz this is my story, but I don't care. This is genuinely a story that not only was I so pumped to create, but one that I'd have LOVED to read as a reader! Had someone else written this I'd have lost my mind reading it. I hate saying that, it sounds so arrogant, but I don't care, I'm losing my mind over this one. I wrote it in like 2 weeks!!!! This fic POURED out of me! And I love it!

2.) Collateral Damage

Draco/Ron. Rated: E. Words: 16,071. Written for Ron-Draco Fest 2021. The first draft of this got to like 10k before I had to scrap it and start totally over. Somehow the original opening kept winding down the wrong path. So finally after fighting with it for way too long (and only 2 weeks to go until it was due), I gave it up and tried again. Decided: "hey, let's open with porn and see what happens." Well...That worked. That did it. All I needed was to open with a BJ for magic to happen, who knew? I ended up with a story I was super jazzed about, and to my great surprise (and pleasure!) others loved it, too!!

1.) Contempt | Devotion

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 20,400 | 25,843. Written for Snarry-a-Thon 2022 and 2023. This one's cheating a bit since it's technically 2 fics, but it's also the same story in different POVs so...it kinda counts, right? Also I know people have told me they liked Devotion more but I can't help but admit that Contempt itself still holds the top spot in my heart! And while I think say The Curse of Anteros is a better overall story, I don't think any fic ever will top Contempt. I mean, never say never, but Contempt is the story of dreams. It's my heart and soul. It's the Snarry I've always wanted to write. The story, the dynamic, the characterizations, everything. It's everything I've wanted in a Snarry since I first began reading Snarry 20 years ago. Like...I have no words to express just how meaningful this work is to me. This is literally the culmination of all of my Snarry feels. I dragged this story out of my gut. I pulled it out of my skin and wrote it in my blood. That's how connected I am to this work. (Wow that sounds really dramatic but also...true.)

Genuinely I was so cared people would hate it, but I wrote it anyway because I needed it and I loved it. I'm very glad to say that plenty of others love it with me! And this is another one @mrviran offered love to in the form of a podfic! (Plus cover art!) I'm fully obsessed with the podfic (AND ART!) and I get all teary eyed when I think about it, that my dear friend worked so hard to bring more life to my baby. 🥹

Kinda funny how my favorite works (and what i consider some of my best works) were all for fests. Fests really do inspire me, even if they make me want to pull my hair out. 😂

Also is it cheating to give honorary mentions to Lover Boy at Play, In My Veins (In My Blood), Orange Blossoms, Teardrop in Your Palm, and Black Skies? 👀