#If You'll Stay In My Past
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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omg did you hear?? the waa is using new business ads!!
#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#phoenix wright#phoenix wright ace attorney#my art#naruhodo ryuichi#fanart#hello !! im back from hiatus !! the past few months ive been focusing on graduating and taking important breaks#and now i can safely say i'll be sharing art again! it feels nice tbh i missed tumblr#im sorry for leaving without saying anything#but i also wanna thank you for staying around and following my art journey !!#now you'll witness me remembering how to use tumblr hehe#thank you for being here ! things might get weird when school starts for me again but thats a later issue#now on to art stuff !! i havent drawn ace attorney in a while but its such a comfort zone for me
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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#need to be held#everyone holds you differently....#so craving the kind of holding that you'll likely never get again because you got broken up with by that person is... hard. really hard.#17 days is not enough time to be better from a breakup.#i can act like im doing fine around others#i can fill my days with all sorts of things to do.#but in the slow parts#the parts filled only by my thoughts and my longing?#the hurt leaks out. drips and drops.#its not a thing where the hurt will ever truly go away. it meant too much to me for that. but i'll do my best to grow around it.#extra challenging part is that i'm trying to be friends with her still while my emotions are probly not processed enough.#i don't have a great track record of staying in touch with exes. i hope things with her turn out differently than my past times.#to those who have been reading these vent tag posts#sorry if i keep repeating the same things.#my sadness has a cyclical nature to it#or so it would seem.
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New toys ✨ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#I found a gift card that had been swallowed by my chair for the past ??months and so opted to get myself some new tools!#I've been wanting new erasers for sooooooo incredibly long now hwahh#I've been using stick erasers - the kind that you can kachunk out similar to a utility knife? Retractable like that - since high school#Even sharpening them to get a finer point - if you'll recall from my getting .3 drafting mechanical pencils I draw Very small lol#But they'd never stay sharp for long! And getting fine details had to fall on the editing side of things when I Wanted my paper to be clean!#So I finally bit the bullet and got myself some shiny news :D And then my laptop charger broke and I had to use the rest for that :/#But I still got the erasers so! I'll take it! Lol#And I do quite like them ♪ They still don't Quite beat out my current favourite brick eraser that I got I think two birthdays ago?#Or last Christmas? From my brother <3 Such a sweetheart ♥ It's been working Fantastically but it is - as stated - a brick#Fine details =/= brick#Which sucks Especially now because if you look at that second one - the examples - The Brick is an Excellent eraser!!#Leaves no scannable residue is Extremely clean and shiny! And it has a soft formula that is very friendly on the paper! I love it#If I could have a stick of That in my new mechanical guys I would in a heartbeat buuuut it's a different formula for stability :P#I get why but uughhhh#Not to say that the others are bad! There's also the learning curve element! Still getting used to them!#But you can probably guess that I doodled my positive reaction before scanning lol - it looks clean to the naked eye! Computers see more smh#I ended up with a multipack of all the same brand of erasers but in different shapes :) Two mechanical two bricks and one sharpenable#And one kneaded but those dry out so fast I tend not to use them lol#So far I have completely fallen for my sharpenable of all things haha ♪ It just has Such a fine point!! And a shavings brush on the end!#It's kind of silly with how long it is lol but I like it!#I think part of it Has been user error - I'm pretty sure I over-brushed some of my doodles which caused the graphite to rub off#Specifically into the supposed-to-be-white sections - if you remember the dream comic I made with Gaster and Papyrus you can imagine#Lots of residue that makes it a long edit :P The whole idea is to make editing easier by Not having lines or toning where it's not wanted!#Still a bit hit or miss but I'm Very willing to keep working with them haha - they make my page-eyes happy if nothing else#I feel like I can spend a bit more time on the drawing side of things - more willing to make it prettier before scanning :)#Which is what I want!! I want more time drawing and less time editing!! Even just proportionately#So I'm pleased overall ♪
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God why is my mother such a terrible human being
#ollie talks.txt#ollie vents.txt#I'm just not getting better while I live here#no matter how hard I try to move past it she's still digging it up#she's still trying to justify hitting a 10 year old child#she still thinks she's the fucking victim here#I think I'd feel safer on a mindfield that I do in a room with her#it's really just gonna fucking be like this isn't it?#abusers who 'get better' never really let go of it. they still think they're in the right. now they're just afraid you cat hurt them back#why do I still love her. my fatal flaw is the fact that I still love her. she made me into a hollow husk of a person who attempted suicide#at 11 and I still love her. she told me I'll die if I ever leave her house and I still love her. she told me I'll die a drug addict on the#street and I still love her. she ripped my favourite clothes apart because I didn't wabt to do my homework and I still loved her#she never let me leave the house until I was 14 and I still love her. she told me I'd be raped and kidnapped if I did like it's a normal#thing to say to a child and I still love her. she told me I'm the only friend she has and I still love her.#how am I supposed to be normal about love after this? is it even love or just complacency? I'm not even sure anymore#just fucking stop. why can't you be normal. why must you dig and dig into my trauma until I lash out and hurt you#yeah I do wish I was never born! but I can't say that to your fucking face because you say you'll slit your throat if I do say it!#who the fuck do you think you are? what gives you the right to do this to me?#you're not trying to be better for my sake you're just haunted by the guilt of what you did and want to be oh such a good parent#guess what you don't get that. you don't get that privilege. not after what you did you have blood on your hands and it'll ALWAYS stay there#you'll die and I'll remember you for the abusive and cruel and violent and hateful person you were to me#I don't fucking care about your child trauma. you can guilt me into feeling sorry for you anymore. feeling sorry for you never made you#change. if you were capable of it you'd done it at this point.#cptsd is truly one hell of a drug. I'll never have children. never
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"exercise doesnt actually help with weightloss!" okay cool. "you dont have to be thing to be healthy!" i know that. what the fuck do i do when i NEED to lose weight because it IS affecting my health though!
#'just keel eating healthy and exercise you'll stay the same weight but be healthier-' have you considered#that being 130 kg is actively damaging me physically AND mentally.#and nothing i do helps and ive only gotten fatter this past year.#i wont ever be your empowered hashtag inspiring fat girl who loves her curves#because the body dysmorphia is so bad i had to tear my damn bathroom mirror off the wall#and seeing my reflection sends me into depressive episodes#and nothing i do helps at all.#shut the FUCK up
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Shout out to series with different outfits, gotta be one of my favorite things ever -
(I started watching Ask the Sonic Heroes again and the lil seasonal outfits are my favorite thing ever. I'm going to try and draw them all, starting with Amy's alternates.)
This one is from Episode 8, which was the first Valentine's episode! We don't get her full body design so I kind of winged it for some stuff but yeah-
#my art#amy rose#this fan series was literally my childhood. i remember years ago staying up late (which for me was past like. 10 pm)#and i just binged episode after episode. there's something so special about it idk how to describe it#i think it's cuz you can tell these guys are just having fun the spontaneousness of it all is magical#going back and watching again it just fills me with joy ...#now if you'll excuse me#gonna go watch more
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Welcome to the first Chill Valicer Save update of 2024! Where we discover that the gang is a few months ahead of us in the calendar and already celebrating Egg Day. :p However -- before we get into that, we first have to cover a mini-update I did before playing through Egg Day proper, where I took a crack at updating the house a little bit! I'd hoped to do a bit more with replacing furniture and such, but ended up deciding to hold off until after Christmas/my birthday (when I received the cashola to buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle) when I'd have more options. Here's what I did manage to update, though:
A) I took all the new plants out of Smiler’s inventory (black bean, soybean, coconut, pineapple, noxious elderberry, poison fireleaf – as it turns out, I didn't need them to buy a pomegranate as we already had a pomegranate tree), plus the spare planter that Victor made way back when from the household inventory, plopped all those in the greenhouse, and started rearranging! I now have all of Smiler’s herbalism stuff together, with the noxious elderberry and poison fireleaf next to their counterparts; all the veggies together; all the fruits together (with the pineapple next to the dragon fruit); all the flowers together; the soybean and black bean in the new planter; and the coconut in the empty patch in the orchard. So basically everything is now grouped a lot better. I may still rearrange the planters themselves in the future so certain types of plants are closer to the crafting stations that use them (like putting all flowers near the flower-arranging bench), but at least now all the similar plants are grouped together properly! Oh, and while I was in there, I tried replacing the "stuck" juice fizzer (that was permanently displaying a "ready to collect" screen with nothing in it) with a new one, just so the gang had one at home if they wished to use it. I later discovered that the new one ended up "stuck" too, but at least I tried?
B) I replaced both the upstairs and downstairs litter boxes with the fancy kind that shoots lasers to automatically vaporize cat poop. XD Hey, look, the family can afford it, and it saves them having to clean the litter boxes.
C) I recolored Moory’s shed to some cheerier colors after being like “why would THIS FAMILY, of all families, go with a beige cow shed” – now it’s bright yellow! Isn't that nicer?
D) I replaced the toilet and sink in the downstairs bathroom with more expensive versions – with decorative slots, so I could put a soap dispenser on the sink. :) I was going to do the same upstairs, but ran into a problem because the two bathrooms have very distinct color schemes, and I’m not sure the toilet and sink combo I used downstairs would fit with either...have to ponder that one a bit more!
E) I penned in Toothy – which involved MOVING Toothy to the other side of the front yard, by the tree in the left-hand corner and the wind farm, because as it turns out cowplants need surprisingly big pens. Possibly because Sims have to stand a certain distance away from them to feed and play with them. If I’d left Toothy in its usual spot, I wouldn’t have had any way to get to the pet obstacle course in the corner by the kitchen. I’m still not ENTIRELY happy with the placement, but it’ll do for the moment, and it means Toothy is now cut off from anyone who can’t get through the gate – which is anyone but household members. *nods*
F) And this one I didn't get a good shot of (though you'll see it in a future update) – I copied one of the grouped photo frames I got from that family reunion I did a little bit back and put some of Victor and Alice’s honeymoon photos from Selvadorada in there. It looks nice (even if I still have a couple of spare photos that have to be arranged around the grouped frames), but I still need to decide how to handle all the photos they’ve got hanging around. I’ve been thinking that I should maybe cull a few so they have more space on their walls and perhaps look a touch less narcissistic...but the problem there is, I personally love the photos, so I don’t know if I could bring myself to delete them. *sigh* We SO need “photo albums” in the this game. Give me a book object that you can put photos in, and that when you click on it, plays a little slideshow of the photos, and I will be CONTENT.
#sims 4#the lazy save#as you might expect#since it's past Christmas and I DID buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle using my parents' cashola#there's another farmhouse update coming in the future XD#but first we have to cover what I actually played over December#and this was a pretty good start when it came to a makeover I think!#it gave me great pleasure to organize that greenhouse#it really needed it#little sad Toothy couldn't stay in its usual place but I really thought the pen was a good idea#now I don't have to worry so much about wandering NPCs approaching#and yes I know that it's kind of ironic that I recolored the cow shed because 'why would they go with beige'#and then kept the downstairs bathroom entirely beige XD#to be fair I think the bathroom being beige is kinda funny#I might add a little more color in the form of artwork later#you'll notice the bathrooms upstairs are colored in accordance with everyone's favorite colors though#the beige one is for the public :p#they can deal with it#queued
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Headcanon: Shinsou communicates with those he likes (i.e. wants to date) with notes.
#Shinsou Hitoshi#Headcanon#Chat AI#This boi would just be hella quiet and stay in corners staring#When he finally confronts you he will be super blunt and awkward#but he is just distant due to past trauma and is worried you'll be scared of his quirk#he is literally so cute I can't even - my heart is gonna explode
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#tw negativity#today was afwul#I was so determined to finish this paper this week just in time for jimin's comeback#like that was my big goal#I even announced it to everyone I know#but as the hours went by today I realised I'm not gonna make it#and it probably doesn't sound too bad but that realisation really fucks me over rn#I hate the topic I hate the assignment type I hate that I have no idea how to apply my knowledge#I'm overthinking every single detail as usual#and don't know if any of my ideas make any sense#I feel dumb and anxious as hell#it's exactly what I feared would happen for the past two years and why I couldn't even think about it for just as long#this paper's given me more mental damage than anything else in my life so far this is ridiculous#'annie once you start working on it you'll find your flow again! you always been so good at this!'#and now look at me. not being able to do shit#and if that's not enough I also got told that I very likely won't get paid this monnth#*month#because of a missing document from my psychiatric hospital stay#like literally fuck all of this#what a huge fucking joke#haven't felt this defeated in a whole while. and I certainly didn't miss the feeling
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vvvvvvv
(TL;DR: me if I ever met myself from when I was like 8 years old)
Not sure I've mentioned here before, but usually when I'm really mad at myself or when I go through shitty periods I get this reocurring/constant tought of myself getting into a time machine to go meet my primary school self. Either I take an axe with me or I pick up a random loose pavement stone when I get there and I whack her to death with the axe or I beat her head into mush with the stone, either as a mercy kill or as capital punishment.
I think this started when I was maybe around 15-17? After I learned about the primary school psychologist thing I sometimes also started imagining going to her first before going to my younger self.
#vent#suicide#I think I was a shitty kid#I was never going to grow into a good human specimen#I was just good at bootlicking society back then so I tricked everybody into thinking I was an exemplary kid or something#the mask started breaking down in my mid teens#being a goody two shoes with a superiority complex didn't even pay shit#but being like that already as a kid makes it feel like it's just part of my nature and not something I can undo#even if I grow out of it and regret it#the wounds stay#so I just started hating my past (and current) self a lot#ngl it actually hurts me when I see people younger than me talking with older people like ugh youngsters nowadays have no respect amirite#but they'll probably be fine anyways cuz they probably don't have whatever mess I was seemingly born with in my stupid head#fyi if you google portuguese pavement you'll probably see a bunch of nice patterned streets but most streets have a shittier version of tha#and usually at least slightly disrepaired so there's always a bunch of loose stones that you can literally just pick up#also this was some years before I even knew anything about C&P so I prommy the axe is not a Rodion LARP thing#I should get a notebook so I can write this shit in a private place#I'd write it in russian for language practice + anti nosey person measure so I don't feel paranoid writing about wanting to kms
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Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:
- shorter time between periods
- irregular periods
- hot flashes and/or cold flashes
- fucked up sleep
- OMG NIGHT SWEATS
- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert
- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants
- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times
This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.
Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:
- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.
- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.
- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.
- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.
- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀
- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)
- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).
I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.
Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)
Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
#perimenopause#menopause#hrt#reproductive health#burning mouth syndrome#rare disease#about me#1K#5K#10K
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"--need to go--" kiss "--just for a minute, let me--" kiss "--go to the bathroom, I--" kiss "--god, you're a menace, I'll lift you onto this counter, and you'll stay there until I get back--" giggle, kiss.
You whispered filthy whispers against Kento's lips, playfully dragging him back to you by the collar each time he tried to release himself.
Half-huff, and half-kiss, he grumbled and spun you around as you laughed, gripping your hands behind your back and pressing you forwards against the counter.
"--unhand me, wife, or I'll tie you up--"
"--don't threaten me with a good time, Kento--"
"--truly-- truly incorrigible woman--"
You laughed again, arching back against him, and pressing his cock into the crease of your barely-covered arse until he moaned; in annoyance, or lust? You weren't sure. Perhaps both. You had the bit between your teeth.
Kento wouldn't put up with your shenanigans for much longer. He slapped your arse, jiggling it with a growl, and dashed past your swiping hands to the bathroom. You whined, then sighed to the sound of his victory chuckle, the bathroom door clicking closed behind him.
Silence-- for 30 seconds. A minute. Two minutes. Three. You called out, smirking.
"Doesn't take that long to pee, Ken--"
The bathroom door clicked open. A low, mulish grumble sounded from within.
"I...can't go."
You frowned, stifling a laugh. "What?"
"I can't go. I'm too hard. I...can't pee."
Bursting out into laughter was your downfall, and it broke down into panicked squeals as Kento stomped out of the bathroom after you, his lap tightly tented over his cock.
He tossed you onto the sofa, dragging you back by the legs when you tried to wriggle and escape, and pinning you beneath him with nuzzled growls to your throat.
"--thorn in my side-- too erect to piss, and other problems my wife causes--"
"--oh, no, whatever can we do to fix this--"
"--you're talking too much and wearing too many clothes, as usual-- come back here-- certainly one thing we can do to fix this, madam--"
#pseudowho#kento nanami#haitch#jjk#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanami fanart#nanami#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami x y/n#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanamin#husband nanami#In case you didn't know#Can't pee when you've got an erection apparently
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There was a poll I didn't feel like interacting with about "would you rather have a fly or a centipede around"
First off all, saw a centipede in the basement last week and was happy enough to have em, hope some day there's no reason to be in there, but I'll trust their judgement for now. Let em scurry off
Second, I frankly wish there was a centipede in my room right now that would make an acrobatic leap uncharacteristic of centipedes and catch this annoying ass fly midair and save me from them annoying me
It would freak me out (I think... but then again I would have though spiders walking on me would too until it happened and didn't), but it would be nice to have someone get this nasty fly
#plus... you go back and look at my cleaning tag and you'll see why I have a lot of problems with flies#I've had to just get up and leave restaurants before cause I couldn't take them... they're...#I've learned to just ignore how I feel about them; but cause of the past; cause of having them thick like smoke on the ceiling#they're just super upsetting and can put me in a real bad place#give me the centipede or earwig or whatever everytime even though they make me jump back#once had an earwig even somehow get in my bed on the second floor#and it was like... fuck me... not happy to have you here... lets get you outside; have a nice day#spiders are always welcome in my home; and frankly if you want to jump around and catch flies midair centipedes#that would make you welcome too; startling as it would be#(do not just unless you catch flies doing it... stay in the basement otherwise)
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