#If I hadn't I have it on good authority we would have all been Wished out of existence
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mariana-oconnor · 1 year ago
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The githyanki are the absolute worst. I don't know why, but every time I end up fighting them it's ten times worse than any other fight I have.
Just... they're so mobile. They can heal. They immediately and enthusiastically go after the weakest members of the party. They attack far too many times.
I'm on Explorer mode and all the other encounters mostly live up to that. But the bloody githyanki. Every damn time.
Although I have them to thank for hearing the 'Gale! No!' line from my Tav... multiple times. Man was practically a yo-yo in that fight.
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iclarye · 1 year ago
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Good Looking
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pairing: opla!sanji x reader
summary: your plan was quick and simple. you would go to the kitchen, make some tea to ease your headache, and then return to your comfy bed. you weren't expecting to come across your crew's blonde cook barechested cutting carrots.
word count: 3.1k
warnings: 18+ content, smut, swearing, pet names, kitchen sex, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, cunnilingus, semi public sex, PIV
authors note: english is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes. read this fanfic on ao3: good looking. enjoy!
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You are used to this. The utterly exhausted sensation after several hand-to-hand combats, so when the headache started when you finally lay down in bed, you just decided to ignore it; the sleep would catch up before it got.
Until the needed sleep never got you. So, after an hour or two of rubbing your temples and staring at the ceiling while feeling envy-induced annoyance for Nami’s peaceful breathing, you pushed yourself to stand up.
Even if the cool night air almost makes you wish you hadn't left your warm bed, you needed that green tea to stop the pounding headache in the back of your head. The kitchen lights shining through the window went undetected as your mind was busy figuring out how you could prepare the drink quickly so that the pain could cease as soon as possible.
“Oh, it’s you, darling. Is everything alright?” As you walked into the door and recognized Sanji's words, you snapped out of your thoughts and began to look over your surroundings. He was not wearing any type of shirt while he sliced carrots from behind the counter.
Barechested. Topless. Half naked.
“Y-yes, I mean, no. Just a headache.” You gaze the blonde in the eyes as you stumble through your sentences, you are merely vaguely aware that your face is beginning to turn red. “I just want that green tea, I know it's somewhere around here. I saw Nami storing it in the cabinets earlier.”
You felt foolish. You became used to seeing shirtless men given that you lived in the middle of the ocean and therefore often came across Luffy, Usopp, and even Zoro barechested. They would often walk around the deck that way on hot days. Sanji, however, always showed up in a suit or, at the very least, had a formal shirt rolled up to his elbows. Even so, there was no chance of seeing him dressed otherwise since he went to sleep after you and woke up before everyone.
“I can do it for you, it’s my job after all, taking care of my sweet girl.” He placed the knife down, threw the chopped carrots in a nearby pot, and proceeded to go through the cupboards. “Love, do you remember where she stored it? There are plenty of cabinets in this place.”
"What are you doing here?" You instantly regret your tone as you noted Sanji just froze in his search.
“I mean, sorry, the kitchen is your place, I know. I just never saw you here this hour, and me and Luffy go here to do midnight snacks sometimes”
“I could not sleep”
“Me too” Once again, an irrational remark. He was informed that you were having trouble falling asleep, that's why you were there. “Why the carrots?”
“The attack that happened today. I had hoped for more food, but I believe you are aware of how fucked our situation is.” He continued looking for the tea while chuckling flatly. “We don't know when we will receive more supplies; we right now have barely anything stocked. Even the carrot peels have been put to use in an effort to reduce waste, you know.”
You weren't sure how to respond. It was clear that everyone's mood was negatively affected by today's incident. The worry of what would happen in the next few days or weeks was filling your head since Usopp managed to escape the ship. His back was to you, so you were unable to see his facial expressions, but you couldn't help but notice his muscles.
You felt a little guilty since you couldn't take your focus away from it, despite him having just voiced some serious concern. Has he lately started working out, or has he always had muscles like that?
“Are you and Luffy close then?”
The sudden break in silence confused you as he turned toward you with the pot of tea in his hands and a pleased smile.
“I suppose so. After all, he was the one who invited me to join the crew, right?” You smirked at the thought. It wasn't much time—perhaps a few months—and you were losing track of time at sea. “I fearlessly agreed to become a pirate, although I had never spent more than two weeks on a boat.”
“I remember that. You were so naive”
Of course he remembers. When you joined the crew, it was very easy to have a conversation with Sanji, he was constantly complimenting you or flirting in a straightforward manner. You never took him seriously, hearing about the blonde's techniques from Nami from the first day, but it was often hard not to chuckle or blush when he was so…
“Not anymore.”
He grinned at you before returning his attention to the tea. It was impossible to look away from his bare chest. You were unable to rest your mind from imagining how his skin would feel on your hand now that he was in your line of sight. You are already aware that he's a good-looking man, but now seeing more of his body did things to you.
“All right, madam. Here is your tea.” He circles the counters until he's right next to you. Really close. His eyes twinkle with recklessness, and you know he caught you staring at his figure.
You ignore the tickle in your lower belly as you stand there, grab the mug in your hands, and sip while gazing at his face. He still has that typical smirk, and when you finally finish drinking your tea, he glances at your lips before returning to your eyes. Everything becomes fuzzy and hot then.
He's very close. His hand has been lying on the counter, his chest is nearly brushing your own, and you can't help but notice his modest, almost transparent blonde hair in there. Perhaps it's a sign for you to walk away, that this is going in a dangerous direction, but you can't.
“What dear? See something you lik-”
You interrupt him with a kiss. It's all very messy and quick, and he is unable to have time to handle everything. You come to an abrupt halt and stare at him with wide eyes, realizing what you have done.
“Sanji, fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant t-”
He didn't let you finish the apologies. His hand pulls your head back, bringing your lips together. The kiss looks right now. It begins carefully, with both sides cautious, but it quickly gets heated as he doesn't hesitate to push his tongue into your mouth.
You’re breathless when he finally pulls away, and his eyes are hungry. He didn't think twice before pressing his open mouth and tongue on your neck. A moan escapes from your lips.
His left hand shifts down to grab your hip, and you catch your breath. Your hands graze his nipples as you reach for his pecs, and he hisses at the fresh sensation in your throat.
“Gods Y/N, you’re going to kill me this way”
You chuckled, and he kissed you again, although this time you took charge, moving one of your hands to his blonde hair before tilting his head to grant you more access. You stop the action just to take a moment to recover and gaze into his dilated pupils. He looks so attractive like that that you can’t help but want to go down on him.
”Sanji,” You whisper breathlessly, enjoying the sensation of his name in your mouth, “let me taste you.”
He groans in response, which you take as encouragement as you lean down and proceed. You lick and kiss the trail that leads to his crotch, and he hisses softly, his abdomen tense beneath your hands and mouth. As you get down on your knees and look at his pants, you can see his erection, which seems big and marked.
You don't hesitate to pull down the waistband of his pants and boxers together, exposing his hard, leaking cock to your eyes. It's big. It's more than you expected. There's a buildup of cum at the head, and you reach forward and wrap your lips around it, licking gently just to tease.
You look up as you swirl your tongue over the tip and dip your tongue into the slit to see him biting his lower lips, his head thrown back. You wanted to see his face while sucking him. So you take him out of your mouth and cautiously wrap a hand around him, teasing him a little with your hand. Your movements are agonizingly slow as you lightly suck and lick the sensitive head until finally he looks down.
“Oh, darling, you’re so pretty like that.” Sanji whined above you, and then your mouth opened around the head of his cock, and he slid it into your mouth. “Fuck, fuck. So… so perfect.”
You can clearly see the blonde struggling to keep his composure, like how his knuckles are white while gripping the counter behind him. You relax your throat, take a long breath through your nose, and exhale slowly before swallowing him whole while gripping his inner thighs.
His penis is large, so the initial sensation isn't the most pleasant, but as he lets out a loud groan, you forget about everything. Something about hearing Sanji whine in the kitchen while you gagged on his cock made the aching between your legs unbearable.
"Oh yeah, You are so good to me. Your mouth feels so good in me.”
You moaned softly at his words of praise, making vibrations around his penis, causing another moan from him. His left hand reached from the counter to your hair, and you didn't reject the help while bobbing your head up and down.
“My love, you are so perfec-“
A few tears occasionally escaped as you sucked him and he fucked your throat, sometimes only taking him out to run your tongue along his length. You started to see signs that he was close to cum. One of your hands left the thighs to rub his balls.
 “I… I'm going to cum, Y/N, dear... I" He gives you a chance to pull away from him, but you choose to continue and accept it all. You remove the entire length of his throat and leave just the head in your mouth.
He comes soon after, with a muffled groan, while you attempt to swallow as much as you can before it gets difficult, followed by a satisfied moan coming from you.
You felt his hand leave your hair, and for two or three minutes, you just remained there. He has his head back and is trying to catch his breath while you are on your knees, glancing at his chest and the beads of sweat gathering on his neck. It’s a perfect vision, honestly. You ponder whether he would notice if you began to masturbate right then.
“Come on, madam, let me help you up.” Sanji extends his hand to support you in getting up, and once you are upright, he grabs hold of your waist to keep you close to him.
He kisses you, tasting himself in your mouth. It's slow, and you realize he's still trying to emerge from his afterglow. When he breaks the kiss, that smile returns to his face, and you peck him once more just to get rid of it.
Sanji deepened the kiss again. And fuck, what else could you do but reply in the same aggressive way?
You're hoisted up by the hands on your hips and thrown onto the counter. The blonde is now between your legs, breaking the kiss, only to go straight to that specific spot on your neck that you're almost certain will leave a mark in the morning.
“Oh- Sanji,” You try to speak breathlessly as he licks your collarbone and his fingers brush the hem of your t-shirt, “You don’t h-have to do that.”
It wasn't that you didn't want Sanji. Since you entered that kitchen and spotted him without a shirt, you wanted this. Yet, you took the decision to give him an opportunity to back out, be thankful for the blowjob, and never bring up the matter again. Him taking you would be very personal.
“Please, my love,” You can hear the yearning in his voice as he whispers in your ear. “I just want to make you feel good too.”
You nod, and he attacks your mouth once again while his hands pull the hem of your t-shirt, exposing your chest, and you can't stop yourself from moaning at being so bare to him.
He doesn't think twice about placing his mouth on your breasts as he rolls the hard bud between his teeth and tongue and gives the other one a gentle stroke with his other hand. He bites your nipple as your head is flung back, and all you can do is pray that no one hears your loud scream.
He takes his mouth from your breasts and begins a trail down your stomach, and you can't stop whining due to the lack of warm sensation from his tongue in your niples, but you quickly figure out where he's headed as he lowers himself between your thighs.
He doesn't ask for permission as he aggressively rips off your shorts and, along with them, your underwear, revealing your pussy to him. He pulled your hips closer and dragged a finger down your folds, then placed it inside his mouth.
"Oh, you're so soaking wet, just for me, hm?" You are so stunned by the sight that you hardly pay attention to what the blonde is saying. “You taste so good, my darling.”
You stand on your elbows and glance at the man who is standing in between your legs. You can't help but gasp at the taunting as he starts giving you small small bites and kisses along your inner thighs. But you want him now.
“Oh Sanji, stop teasing for fuc-“
He didn't wait for you to finish the curse word before burying his face, pushing his tongue against your wet pussy, and licking a long, temptingly slow strip through your folds until he reached your sensitive bud.
In an attempt to create more friction, you thrust your hips into his mouth, and your left hand immediately settled on his blonde hair. Sanji found the ideal pattern to swirl his tongue over your clitoral region, leaving you panting for air.
He pushed two fingers deep within you, and you felt your walls clenching around them, sucking him in. His pace was fast, and he was still paying careful attention to your clit, leaving you close to the edge. You were a mess, and it wouldn't take long for you to cum. Yet you still needed him; you wanted more.
You sucked in a sharp breath and tried to block out the inappropriate sounds echoing through the kitchen.
“Sanji, p-please more”
"Use your words, my angel." You could see the glistening fluids from your pussy plastered on his chin when he pushed his head off of your thighs. “What do you want?”
“Fuck me, oh g-gods. I need you inside me." At your words, he groaned and took both of his fingers out to direct his cock at your entrance.
It wasn't difficult for him to enter since you were so soaked. At the feeling of it, you both simultaneously moaned. You felt completely filled; he just stood there for a while, waiting for you to get used to the size, until you signaled for him to start moving. It began off slow, but soon he started out moving his hips at a faster pace to satisfy both of you.
"You're perfect,” he moaned in two thrusts, and you had to put your hand over your mouth. “Look at you, taking my cock so well, oh darling.”
The hands on your hips let go and grabbed you under your right thigh, opening your legs and hitting you more deeply and faster. You thought you were seeing stars when he hit an exact spot inside your pussy that made you shout.
“Cum for me, my love. I know you want”
It didn't take long for your orgasm to hit you after that, your eyes rolled back and you let out a whine sound as you felt your walls squeeze his dick. He moaned along with you at the feeling and a few more thrusts and he came inside you.
Sanji's head fell directly to your shoulder, and you instinctively placed your palm in his blond locks. While the fluid was slowly dripping out of you, he continued to remain deep inside and breathe loudly.
He raised his head only to smile recklessly while glancing into your mouth. “So, do you still have a headache?”
Your hand reached out to push him, but you were helpless to suppress the giggles that came. He drew away from inside you but was still between your knees as he chuckled proudly.
“Do you think anyone heard?”
“I'm not sure, maybe when you let out that screa-" You slapped him on the shoulder to cut him off while embarrassed because of the probability. “Ok, ok my darling, next time we’ll find a more private place.”
“Next time, huh?
Sanji stood still with an anxious smile on his face; it was almost hilarious how someone so confident in themselves would respond in that manner. You wrapped his neck with both of your arms and gave him a quick kiss to reassure him that everything was fine.
"You should come to the kitchen more often, preferably alone.”
"And you should go shirtless more often too.”
"Only for you, my love.”
You gave him another kiss before leaving the counter, getting ready to go, and returning to the bedroom. Even though the night seemed to be becoming lighter, you were aware that there were still a few hours until sunrise. It was evident that there would be plenty of issues to address when you awoke, but for the time being, you were content, even though you were a little exhausted from the activities. As sleep came, all you could think of was Sanji and his smile.
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© iclarye, 2023
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star2fishmeg · 4 months ago
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ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ 'ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ
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[30.2k] Pairing | Jack Hughes x afab!reader Summary | how does one guy go from wanting everything to do with someone, to nothing at all? Jack didn’t know what he wanted until he started losing to Trevor, but maybe that was a good thing. Warnings | 18+ smut, childhood friends to lovers, angst, jealousy, fluff, swearing, grumpy x sunshine-ish, underage drinking, mention of mildly-dysfunctional family, hickeys, backshots, mild choking, masturbation implication, praise kink, hair pulling, making out, protected p in v, pet names (angel, sweetheart) Authors Note | this is my first Jack fic please bear with🫶. Another slow burn, sorry. This is a work of fiction, please remember that my dudes ♫ the spins - mac miller [small worlds masterlist]
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Jack's heart stopped and he gulped. Never in his thirteen years of living had he come face to face with someone whose stare was more bone-shaking than his older brother, Quinn's. He'd never felt apprehensive about someone else, hockey eliminated that the moment he learnt to skate as a small child. Y/n L/n had been in every class of his since he could remember. In the frozen suburbs of Toronto, she lived a few houses away from his, took the same bus and could only recall two occasions where he’d seen her smile: with her friends at lunch and watching guys like him suffer misfortune. Then they were project partners for their literature class, and neither had been too pleased with the decision. 
Jack slid into the empty seat next to her with a grin smeared across his face and a chewed pen between his fingers. His nerves hadn't dissipated as he had hoped, the neat formatting of her notes and their quality only made his heart pound harder. Her face didn't move but her eyes scanned his face, finishing with a stone gaze into his pretty, blue eyes. That was one thing she had to give him, his eyes were beautiful, vibrant and lined with long, thick lashes that she wished she had. 
“Do you like literature, y/n?” he asked. He had far too much confidence in himself, an ego some would say. He was used to people just agreeing and following him like a prince, bowing at his words. The girls would fawn and twirl their hair, the guys dying to hang out with him. Jack was popular because he was charming, friendly and social. But he was also a teenage boy, so the world was also his territory, and everyone was just in it. 
“Yes.” She squinted cautiously, grip on her pen tightening. 
“Perfect! How about you do the parts you're good at, and I do the speaking? Does that sound good?” 
“Sounds like a ‘get out of jail free card’, Jack. We're splitting it fifty-fifty. Drop it and let's start brainstorming.” She spat, opening his notebook for him and refusing to drop her glare.
He groaned, slamming his head onto the desk. “What do you mean ‘drop it’? Drop what? My pants? Because I didn't know you were that kinda gal-” 
“-The act, Mr. Eighty-Percent Average Score. I want a good grade and you're a hockey player, you need good grades, or you'll be benched, right?” She deadpanned and started jotting down ideas in her notebook. Sometimes having a troublesome brother in hockey had benefits, but most of the time it didn’t. 
“How did you…huh? How do you know that? Did Quinn tell you that? That little rat-” he jolted when her palm slapped the back of his head, not hard but enough to get him to shut up. 
“What was that for? All right Sunshine, what is your problem?”
Her hand grabbed the collar of his burgundy hoodie, a fire burning in her eyes as she seethed. “My problem is some of us don't have set futures and need school, Hughes. So shut up, do as you're told and let's get this project over with so we can both go back to enjoying our lives. And get this idea that you call the shots here just because you're popular out of your head. You're no more special than anyone else while at school." 
She let go and leant back, returning to her notes as if nothing had happened. Jack didn't adjust his collar. He didn't laugh, cry or yell. His cheeks burned pink with wide eyes, and his stomach doing flips. If he could replay that moment again, he would. No one had spoken to him like that before, not even his family. She was out for his blood. Some of his friends would call her unpleasant, others would disagree and say that Jack was lucky to be partnered with someone as cool as her, someone who didn’t take shit from people and got things done. They’d grown up in the same schools, of course, he’d heard the stories about y/n being voted ‘most fearless’ because she wasn’t afraid of having a backbone or watched her hit another girl because she stole her friend’s juice box. She wasn’t unpleasant, Jack would’ve done the same, and that’s why he wasn't even angry, but his respect for her peaked and intrigue bursting at its seams. But the guilt lingered. His first ever proper interaction, conversation with just the two of them (aside from small talk over the years) and he may have just fucked everything up when they were supposed to get along and cooperate. But why did he feel guilty. 
“Do you hate me?” he blurted out quietly, watching her pause mid-sentence. If she was out for his blood, what did he do that was so bad? Or what had she heard?
“No,” she turned her head to face him, “I have no reason to hate you…yet. You're just annoying and stupid if you think I’ll let you sit back while I do this alone. We're doing our presentation on symbolism, by the way.”
“Am not, control freak,” he grumbled, muscles relaxing at the fact he wasn't rejected, God forbid he was rejected by someone cool, that would be embarrassing. He pulled his seat in and started copying the notes she'd scribbled for him, “but yes ma'am.”
 *
Maybe some people aren’t meant to be. Not even as friends. After almost getting choked on Monday, Jack hadn’t learnt much from his experience. On Tuesday he spilt water over y/n’s notes, and while he profusely apologised, he was punished with silent treatment and no guidance on their project. Wednesday, she had sought him out over lunch, hoping to retrieve the notes he borrowed but as she found him at his locker, he slammed the door into her face on accident and the only thing he could do after that was slam his head into the wall, repeating ‘idiot’ to himself. But Thursday was the worst. The winters were vicious in Toronto, so attempting to navigate the ice was a task. Fortunately, the school set grit over the concrete, but over time the snow would deflate into sludge as everyone trampled over it. Y/n had been carefully making her way to the bus, trying to work with the crowd and not slip in front of everyone. Jack was late, in too much of a panic to be thoughtful. He just didn’t want to be late for hockey practice. Without looking, he’d stormed through the crowds and shoved past y/n, but he tripped and took her down with him, the pair tumbling into the sludge, soaking wet and cold through their clothes. When Jack realised who it was screaming ‘asshole!’ at him shooting daggers into his soul, he learned that his coach was, in fact, not the scariest person he knew.
Since Monday, the week was supposed to be easy after processing the partnerships, yet on Friday, y/n still found herself in her seat doing more than fifty per cent of the research while Jack talked endlessly to his friend across the classroom, laughing at YouTube references and memes that only thirteen-year-old-boys would find funny. She knew Jack was doing it on purpose, he was more than capable of contributing, she’d seen his previous presentations and other projects. Was it her? She wondered if she’d been too aggressive, too moody with him to the extent that she was just off-putting or that he found it amusing. Perhaps if she’d been a bit kinder, they would be getting along like the rest of their class, laughing and chatting with each other instead of him flinging rubber bands at his friends while she stuck her nose in her notebook, worrying about how she’d get all the work done solo (because she wasn’t holding out for hope). Truth be told, she had as much passion as a night-shift worker, not because of Jack, but who liked doing graded presentations at the start of the school year?
“Will you please turn around and shut up?” she whined, tugging on his hoodie sleeve with a tired pain in her voice, “You’re so rowdy.”
Giggling, Jack turned around in his seat, satisfied with the torment he’d caused his friends and with a wide grin. He’d taken time to reflect on their interactions, even asking Quinn what he’d do to redeem himself (after calling him the grumpiest man alive). He did come across as arrogant, he admitted to that. He wasn’t expecting her to know about the school and hockey relationship and really wasn’t expecting to be choked by his collar and humbled publicly. That’s why he decided he liked her; she was a cool girl in his world who didn’t care about who he was. He didn’t know any girls like y/n, not that she wasn’t like other girls, but other girls he surrounded himself with didn’t hiss in his face and spit his name like it was poison in her mouth.
“Sorry, Sunshine,” he saluted, continuing his part of the project in an awkward silence. Jack’s knees bounced, the air between the pair so quiet he could hear his breathing echoing in his ears, mouth itching to talk about anything but he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing again. He watched her from the corner of his eye, even in a neutral state she looked jarred, lips in a permanent downward fall. His friends called it a ‘resting bitch face’, but she had every reason to be a bitch to him, after all, he had pretty much embarrassed and driven her up the wall all week. He sighed, turning his attention back onto the text she chose to study, annotating parts he thought would suit the instruction she’d given him. 
“I’m sorry for choking you. And snapping at you.” He whipped his head around in surprise, her eyes hadn’t moved from her notes, but her tone was soft, the softest she’d sounded to his memory. She peered over to him apprehensively, almost shocked at his silence.
He blinked twice, out of the two of them it should have been him apologising first. His lips tugged into a small smile, “I deserved it. I’m sorry for being an ass and hitting you with my locker, and knocking you in sludge and overall, just being annoying. You have every right to hate me.”
Sitting up straight, y/n’s gaze softened for the first time, “Jack, I don’t hate you. For the sake of this project, how about we start over?” she held her hand out, “Pleasure to be working with you, Rowdy. Let’s do this fifty-fifty and that way we both benefit.”
He shook her hand, his almost engulfing hers, but he thought it was cute, “You too, Sunshine. So, uh…how are we gonna do this? Because we’re kinda slacking on all grounds. Like, we know each other and where we live, and that we take the same bus, yeah, but like…not anything, uh, personal like your favourite colour.” 
“Well, my favourite colour is red, I like hot chocolate with marshmallows and my favourite hockey team is the Maple Leafs.” She said, doing her best to start some sort of icebreaker to at least make conversation easier. They should have done this from the start like others would have but he was arrogant, and she was up tight. Just because you’ve grown up in the same proximity as someone doesn’t always make you friends.
Jack’s eyes lit up, “No way! My favourite hockey team are the Leafs too! Lemme think…uh…my favourite meal is steak; I love watching movies and my dream is to make it to the NHL.” 
“Cool. That’s a lot of weight to carry,” he nodded enthusiastically at her, “but you’re the kinda guy who could, Hughes. Anyway, what have you done for this shitty project?” she peeked at his notebook, brushing over the fact Jack was grinning like an idiot at his breakthrough. It was a start, but at least she wasn’t insulting him anymore and they were talking with their walls down, no weapons. He opened his mouth but immediately closed it, scratching the back of his neck. Her notes were always so direct and neat and his were a mess, not even he could understand what he was saying half the time.
“What the hell am I reading, Jack?” her smile dropped, and her deadpan humiliated him alone. He sunk into his chair, he did his best, he really had, but unlike in hockey, the school was a flow he just couldn’t enter. “We have a lot of work to do. Hope you’re free over lunch next week.” 
“Or we could do it at my house. Do you wanna come over?” 
“Not really,” she said flatly, looking him in the eye. 
“Please, there’s too much happening at school and doing it at my house - or yours - would be so much better. Think about it, I won’t get distracted~” 
She chewed her cheek, watching his toothy grin widen. If he weren’t a charmer she would’ve made her decision more quickly, but Jack had this effect to him where it was almost impossible to resist, whether you liked him or not. He had a point, in his home he wouldn't be hollering across the room or fidgeting in his seat. Anyway, it would be a good opportunity for them to bond. 
She sighed, and hung her head, “Fiiiine. Are Sundays, okay?”
He nodded urgently, perhaps more excited than he should have been, but getting her to give in and try to hang out outside school felt like a win. He just wanted to know if her walls were always enforced up high or if it was a school thing.
 *
The first Sunday crept quicker than she would have liked. Although the Hughes' house looked no different than hers, the dahlias in the front garden were twice as pretty, a small part of her hoped the frost would never hit them, reflecting the joyful souls of the Hughes family. Y/n stood on the doorstep, rucksack slung on her shoulder and rollerblades in her hand. When Jack had told her to bring them, she asked why but in typical Jack manner, his answer was vague, ‘Please just bring them!’, but she listened anyway, dreading what kind of ideas were running through his mind when they were supposed to be working on their project. After all, the faster they submitted it, the sooner they could return to their lives.
She lost track of how long she’d been standing there, he probably thought she’d ditched him by how long she’d been mustering up the nerves to knock but the reality of the situation, her reality, she was processing how there was no muffled noise coming from behind the door.
For a home of five, it was as quiet as a zen garden. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised; most families were quiet. She never had to look where she was going on her way home, she always heard her family before she saw them, whether outside the front door or somewhere in the house. The yelling never stopped, so standing outside Jack’s house took the weight off her chest and she could feel the September breeze in her hair.
She knocked timidly, listening to footsteps barrel through the house from the other side and a muffled ‘Quinn don’t you dare answer that!’ however when the door opened it wasn’t Jack’s excited, puppy-like self. She’d never looked at him properly, but y/n blinked twice at Quinn standing before her. He was a lot better looking than Jack made out, the opposite of Jack: dark hair, taller, broad shoulders and his eyes were a duller blue compared to Jack’s vibrant ones. He smiled kindly as Jack shoved past him, shooing him out of the way and muttering at him to leave them alone.
“I told you not to answer! I had it!” Jack whined at his older brother, pushing him to the side.
“I didn’t know you were inviting your girlfriend over, why didn’t you just say so?” Quinn teased, letting Jack move him. To him, seeing Jack so ecstatic over a girl wasn’t new, Jack had had short-lived girlfriends since he was eleven, not understanding the difference between validating attention and love yet but y/n with the hard gaze was the first girl he invited into his home. The kind of girl Quinn least expected since she didn’t seem happy to be in their home, unfazed by Jack’s playful behaviour and glint in his eye. That was new and part of him felt old seeing his little brother grow up so fast.
“She’s not my girlfriend, assface!” Jack growled, his face heating up.
“Ugh, as if.” She scoffed at the same time before fully processing the smirk on Quinn’s face. Jack girlfriend? Is that how it looked to others? A boy and a girl hanging out as children was fine but the moment, they hit their teens it meant they were all over each other. She imagined what it would be like if she were to be his girlfriend, until she caught herself in the act, what kind of demon possessed her even to have such a fleeting thought? Curiosity? Or maybe it would be funny seeing the reactions of others, seeing him with someone they least expected. Y/n’s breath hitched, heat rising to her cheeks but less noticeably than rosy red Jack who started swatting Quinn.
“Ignore him, y/n, let’s go do this project.” He emphasised to his brother.
Jack gently took her by the sleeve, pulling her into his hallway and impatiently waiting for her to slip her shoes off and leave her rollerblades before leading her upstairs.  She glanced behind her, giving Quinn a shy wave which he returned as Jack led her further, weaving around stray hockey gloves and shoes on the stairs and reappearing into a simple hallway. The layout couldn’t have been more unfamiliar to her home, the walls were highly decorated with family photos, more of the boys than anyone else. Quinn, Jack and Luke, the youngest, clad in mostly hockey gear but the occasional casual photo, some even of them piled on top of each other. The landing was nothing special, a single strip with one bedroom facing the street, one next to the stairs with another opposite and the master facing into the garden, bathrooms in between.
Jack pointed to the room next to the stairs, “that’s Quinn’s room,” then to the room at the back of the house, “that’s my parents,” then to the front, “that’s Lukey’s,” and eventually ushered her to the room opposite Quinn’s, opening the door and giving her a grand reveal, “and this is mine!”
Y/n shuffled in, taking in the personality of the room. It wasn’t big, nor a box room but the grey walls made it feel smaller than it was. A double bed pushed against the wall, a desk next to it and opposite those were a chest of drawers and a wardrobe crammed snugly. It was the kind of room that someone who didn’t spend a lot of time in would have, the only elements saving it from a show home were the hockey posters and awards on the walls and surfaces, a hockey helmet on top of the wardrobe with gloves and skates scattered under the bed. But the one part that stuck out the most while she moseyed around, was the framed photo on his desk. A recent picture of him and his brothers together, void of smiles and Jack wearing the burgundy coat the day he knocked her into sludge, Quinn in the grey hoodie she just saw him in and Luke in, what she assumed, some sort of blue university fleece with an ‘M’ on the chest. She stifled a chuckle, only Jack would wear full burgundy, but it was no better than the photo of her, her younger brother and her dad at her cousin's wedding, all three of them miserable and her dad nursing a hangover (pre-drinks with the boys before the wedding was not his and the relative’s greatest idea for some of their ages). But this photo of Jack had something endearing to it, and proof that he wasn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.
Jack crept behind her, peeking over her shoulder and speaking quietly next to her ear, “We all got a copy of that one. It’s also on the stairs. Mum thinks it’s hilarious because before it was taken, Dad had us shovelling snow for thirty minutes before a two-hour evening hockey practice.”
It hadn’t occurred to her how he felt the need to stand so close to her until then, his voice practically sinking into her skin as if she were wearing headphones rather than listening to him through a speaker. It wasn’t that she hated it, it was just…new. He wasn’t smirking, his hands were in his jean’s pockets and the way his popular-kid demeanour plummeted when talking about his brothers was like she had met an entirely different person. It’s crazy how getting someone in a different environment can lower their mask. It made him loveable and the longer they stood there, close together, the less she hated the idea of being around him. It was almost comforting to share family stories, the information that anyone who hadn’t seen the photo wouldn’t know.
She nodded, her rucksack strap dropping from her shoulder and into her hand as she turned to him, looking up at his smiling face. Okay, he was a lot taller up close, or well to her at least, and he seemed to enjoy looking at her face as she swore his eyes had a sparkle in them.
“Where do you want me to sit?” she asked, casually.
For a second he thought he saw her crack. She was the only person who’d seen the photo, he’d usually put it away for safety when his friends came over since a couple of them had a thing for pillow fights at three in the morning. Letting her into his world and sharing his secrets would surely get her out of her shell, he was convinced that if he dropped his mask, she’d drop hers. He imagined what that would be like as she turned to him, and what it would be like if she looked in his eyes brightly all the time, shamelessly in the school hallways without anyone to ruin it. But her voice jolted him like he had been shaken by its shoulders and the real world was back to ground him, “Uh- right- project, you can take the desk I’ll sit on my bed. What, uh, time do you need to be home…by the…way?”
She sat on his office chair and set up her stationary, not looking at him when she replied,
“Probably seven at the latest, usually when dinner is but I can leave whenever you want me to. I’m just a few houses away.”
He grinned. That gave him a perfect amount of time to begin his plan if they didn’t spend the whole day on the project, which was likely considering his attention span went haywire in her presence. He couldn’t explain why, only that there was something about her gloom had him infatuated. Partnered projects weren’t for everyone, he knew that. He loved them, the bouncing, the company, getting away with not doing anything because he did all the talking but he also knew some people despised them entirely because of people like him, slackers, yappers, people who didn’t view them as real assessments because they weren’t pen and paper. Jack was the first and y/n was the latter, but for some reason, he wanted to be bossed about, wanted to work and perhaps see things from her world, hear her talk more.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all, maybe if he showed her to loosen up, she wouldn’t get stressed over it but if he tightened up, he could learn a skill or two and they’d find a balance.
Usually after two hours of unbroken work focus, Jack would groan in despair out of restlessness and boredom, but in the two hours that passed, both parties had completed a lot. They’d managed to negotiate roles, y/n would endure the tedious theory research elements while Jack focused on analysing and piecing together their text passage and the theories she’d found. It wasn’t fun, but they’d caught up with the rest of their class and were safe, and on track. She wouldn’t have to work into the night, and he wouldn’t have to risk skipping his social life. Jack had to admit, and he couldn’t lie, that working with her, even in silence, wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. They chatted here and there about life when they let their brains rest, she didn’t insult him, and he didn’t annoy her. They found a balance, and he’d learnt a bit more about y/n, like how she couldn’t ice skate but could rollerblade, how she forgot to blink when in a hyperfocus or that she didn’t like talking too much because she’s worried, she’d overshare and weird people out. Which did hit him in the gut when she casually expressed it, because he didn’t think anyone should hold themselves back from being true to themselves.
With his notebook and pens abandoned on his bedsheets, he sat crossed-legged, watching her scribble down quick notes from a website, “So, you used to talk a lot but since your friends just…never reacted or made snarky comments, you just thought to reign it in? What do you talk about?”
“Yup. Can be a yapper in the right environment, but now all we talk about is school, the news or things they’re into. They don’t even try to give context to those who have no idea what’s going on. It’s not a big deal though, most of them are going to a different high school than me so I’ll make new friends.” She explained with a sigh, finishing her notes and swivelling in his chair to face him. Talking to him as if they were friends felt refreshing, she only got to talk to one or two people this way, and those were the two friends going to the same high school as her. Neighbours would say that she and Jack should’ve been friends from toddlers since they’d grown up together on the same street, same kindergarten, same elementary and now coming to the last year of the same middle school but Jack was an outdoors kid always participating in some sort of sport with the other kids, y/n preferred the indoors, quietly finding hobbies and watching from the window. The only reason they’d recognised each other in elementary school was because Ellen had once dropped by to gift her mum, flowers as a thank you for something, and Jack happened to be with her, y/n locking eyes with him as she was walking through the house.
“Well, you can always talk to me, I’ll be your friend. We’ve known of each other for years, our mums help each other garden for God’s sake so we’re not completely strangers…” he fiddled with the chewed pen in his lap, “besides, I have two brothers and some…unique friends, nothing you do or say could weird me out.”
She sat in silence, watching him struggle to make eye contact with her for the first time like he was nervous about what she would say. He was probably expecting her to chew him up, brush him off but he had a point. They had been neighbours their whole lives, and if she played outside more, they would have been better acquainted. But her middle school friendships were fickle, and immature, in their eyes, she was the weird kid and only because her interests differed slightly, and more people gravitated towards her, girls and boys alike. And when that happens in a friend group of eleven to fourteen-year-olds, you’re the odd one out, people get jealous and there’s only so much artificial solidarity to go around sometimes. So, she changed and tried to scare people away so she could fit in again and survive and it worked. Until Jack Hughes wiggled his way into the picture.
Why is Jack talking to you? You know I like him. 
That’s so unfair!
Befriending your friend's crush? Low y/n, so low.
“I appreciate your kindness, but that’s a terrible idea.” She deadpanned, leaning back in the chair, a pang of regret striking through her upon seeing his shoulders slump.
He looked up with confusion written on his face, “What, why?”
“Because you’re Jack Hughes. Popular, charming Jack Hughes who everybody wants to be friends with. And I’m miserable y/n, my friends would throw me to the curb if I started hanging out with you suddenly. Actually, they would accuse me of betraying them and think something is going on between us. Petty shit.”
“But I like miserable y/n, you’re not even miserable. But why would it be a betrayal? Unless your friends got a crush or something-” the pieces clicked in his head, “-oh. I see. Well, think of it positively, would you rather have a group of friends who make you have to pretend to be miserable or have one friend who actually makes you miserable?”
She tried so hard to suppress a giggle but seeing him gesture to himself when making humour of the conversation made it impossible and she let the giggle out. Only Jack could say that, and it be funny, as self-deprecating as the joke was, it came from a good place. Jack’s head however emptied, and his chest exploded, a giddy feeling jerking his nerves hearing her giggle because of him (and not because he was getting punished or dumped in the hallway). He didn’t fuss over it, he didn’t want her to stop because he’d brought her guard down, so he giggled with her.
“I guess I would rather have one friend that makes me miserable.” 
“Correct answer!” he mused, all project work was abandoned, and it was clear to them both that they were done for the day. “Well, now we’re friends, do you wanna go play street hockey? That’s why I asked you to bring rollerblades, we’re gonna hang out.”
“So, doing the project was just a front for getting me to hang out with you?” she began to pack her stationary into her rucksack while he pushed his onto the floor. He’d clear it up later if he remembered.
“Uh-huh,” he nodded proudly, “I thought that if we hung out, we could get to know each other better, do something fun.”
He was almost falling off his bed in excitement, waiting for her to agree and play with him. Was he this eager with everyone? No one had ever been that desperate to be friends with her, most people weren’t that desperate. She opened her mouth to decline, but he’d spent the past two hours forcing himself to focus on their schoolwork, do as he was told, and listen to her intently even though she knew he was getting restless and bored, she owed him at least an hour of her time.
“Okay, but only for a little bit. I’m not great like you so go easy.” A smile was all it took for Jack to leap up, take her by the sleeve, drag her through his bedroom door (almost knocking Luke over in the process) and into his hall again. 
*
What was supposed to be just an hour, so she told herself, turned out to be three hours of non-stop street hockey. Two beaten-up goals outside his house and two laughing teenagers clad in gloves and rollerblades, hockey sticks hitting each other for the plastic ball that dragged and rattled across the concrete. Neither had been keeping track of the time, they were too engrossed in trying to beat each other, especially y/n, who forced Jack to go easy on her just so she could at least have a chance. 
It wasn’t often she got to participate in something like street hockey with someone, a lot of her social life was talking and not a lot of experiencing. She didn’t even hang out with her brother like the Hughes boys did, but her brother was far more interested in golf or playing FIFA with his friends or causing trouble at school. When they were younger, she and her brother used to spend hours playing basketball in the garden, so much so that eventually the hoop fell off and that was the end of it. Or they used to play video games together, getting so competitive in Wii Sports that her brother would start crying if he lost. Those were ephemeral days stuck in a memory loop, but playing hockey with Jack freed the same adrenaline rush that made the world feel brighter and hopeful like living for yourself was worth it.
She closed in on Jack’s goal, readying herself to take the shot, sheer confidence across her face until he swooped in and blocked the shot, stealing the ball from her possession and skating towards the other end.
“Jaaack,” she groaned, “you’re such a dick, I almost had that!”
His triumphant laughter echoed through the neighbourhood as he closed in on her goal, 
“You don’t sound so happy, Sunshine, why don’t you come to show me who’s the boss, huh?”
She clicked her tongue playfully, getting a burst of energy as she approached Jack. She could have knocked him out of the way, blocked his shot, or broken any of the standard rules but she was having the time of her life and Jack hadn’t stopped smiling since she agreed. Y/n tossed her stick to the side, dropped her gloves and grabbed the back of his hoodie, pulling herself closer to him and wrapping her arm around his shoulder, sending them both crashing to the floor, equipment scattered but both players laughing and playfighting, rolling and wrestling until their stomachs ached from laughter. 
At some point in their roughing, y/n’s fist hit Jack square on the cheekbone, hard. Sitting up straight, legs tangled, they stared at each other like they’d seen ghosts, her heart stopping in her chest. She didn’t mean to hit him, not for real, but on reflex she unclenched her fist and held his face in her hands with a delicate touch as if he were glass, her fingers holding his jaw as she inspected his cheekbone for any bleeding. She may have thought nothing of it, just protocol for when someone got hurt, but Jack’s cheeks blazed, hands becoming clammy, and he thought he was going to lose his breath at how gentle she was with him. If getting injured was all it took for her to look at him with soft eyes and obtain all her attention like a prize, he should’ve broken his legs a while ago. His world paused, the sounds of nature and cars faded out into a silence and his heart skipped eight beats at once. He’d had girlfriends, but he’d never had skin contact with one. Never held a girl’s hand before and never had his face held by one. She was like a drug, the second she cradled his thumping face, he never wanted her to let go. Maybe it was because he liked the attention because it was new and exciting or maybe the endorphins rushing through him altered his state of mind too much and confused the difference between enjoying her touch and pain relief.
“I’m okay,” he said just above a whisper with a fond look, “it’ll just bruise at most.”
She nodded, letting him reassure her before a grin crawled onto her face, arm snaking around his neck and held him in a headlock, grinding her knuckles mildly into his head and ruffling his hair. Even though he wished on all his lucky stars that the moment would never end, getting noogies from her was just as euphoric if it meant her giggles gave him just as much of a bliss escape as the scratching of ice skates did in hockey. 
“If you say so, Wack Hughes.” She rolled off and sat on the concrete opposite him, catching her breath, both bodies panting with flushed, chilly cheeks and undoubtedly bruises and grazes on their limbs. That’s what they got for not looking properly for knee and elbow pads.
“Can I have your number?” the words erupted a lot quicker than he expected them to, he borderline felt like he came across as a desperate man at a bar hoping to strike gold, “So, uh, we can text when to meet up…for the project and stuff…yeah.” 
She sighed dramatically, “If I really have to.” 
In all instances, all universes and every other life after his current, Jack wished the project would never end. He was just beginning to get somewhere with forming a liberating friendship where he was just Jack, the kid from class.   
Jack had been right, but he wished it had been a cut because the bruise over his cheek was diabolical. A beautiful purple and blue bruise next to his eye, not quite a black eye but the cheekbone was close enough. Quinn and Luke teased him relentlessly the Monday morning over breakfast, even though the middle Hughes explained it was an accident while playfighting and not because he pissed her off. 
School was worse. At first, his friends taunted him about it, and how the ‘pretty boy wasn’t so pretty anymore’. Jack was just relieved that nobody asked him how he got it, they all assumed it was hockey and he would have too if he was them. At least a bruise wasn’t as embarrassing as when he broke his leg but there’s only so much teasing you can take before it starts becoming boring, and all week he had heard the same comments and the same giggling. He didn’t blame y/n, she didn’t do it on purpose but her packing a punch was not on his twenty-fifteen bingo card. 
Sunday rolled around again, Jack and y/n only had a week left until their project was due and while y/n had her hand fisting her hair, the words on her screen blending and almost sending her into cardiac arrest, Jack had zoned out long ago. Silence filled the Hughes’ dining room, both bodies void of willpower as they entered hour three of their study. On the bright side, they were over halfway done, opting to pull the presentation aesthetics together last as that was the easy part. The hardest part was trying to condense twenty-five slides into ten at most.  
Luke was home with them, keeping out of their way but giving them a glance as he meandered into the kitchen for a snack. He may have been twelve and starting to enter his pre-teen years of figuring himself and the world out, but what he did know was that the house was quieter on Sundays. That’s how he knew y/n was over. He stood quietly in the kitchen, peering over at his brother and y/n in deep thought from the breakfast bar, wondering how someone had tamed Jack within two weeks. Yes, they spent almost every day together so the chance of them getting to know each other better that way wasn’t off the table, and the quality of friendship isn’t determined by how long you’ve known someone. He’d never seen Jack sit so still, he wasn’t even chewing on his pen, just staring at his laptop screen and notebook while he feared y/n might yank her hair from her scalp if she gripped it any tighter. Luke pulled two glasses from the cabinet, filled them with water, and set them in front of the two. He then disappeared back into the kitchen and rummaged through the cookie jar before returning and placing them on the dark wood next to the water. Y/n’s hand fell from her hair and raised her head to meet a smiling Luke. They’d never spoken, but he liked it when she came over, especially when he’d watched her tackle Jack to the ground a week prior, of course.  
“Thanks, Luke. You really didn’t have to.” Y/n’s voice suddenly filled the room and pulled Jack out of his daze, his attention immediately landing on the glass of water and cookie.  
“It’s the least I could do for someone who can keep Jack on his leash.” Luke chuckled lightly, making his way back into the living room.  
Jack waited until he left to whip around to her, making her flinch at the speed, “You’re friends with my little brother easily but not me? I’m taking that as an offence.”  
“He didn’t tell me to do the entire project by myself while he got to do the easy part.” She jested, poking her finger into his chest. Call them Punch and Judy with the way they bickered. “He also didn’t pull me into sludge.” 
He wrapped his fingers around her hand, holding it gently as he rolled his eyes, “Okay, well, fair enough. At least it was Luke.” 
“Why? Scared I’ll fall hopelessly in love with Quinn and his dark curls and brooding personality,” she leant forward with a smirk, watching Jack’s eyebrows knit. She’d done it, found his button to press and she loved every ounce of adrenaline that raged through her, “that’ll I’ll hang out with him instead?” 
His tongue poked his cheek, their faces inches away and for once it was him sulking while she taunted him. Yet, the grip he had over her hand stayed loose, even when she continued to prod him, but he knew she could feel how sweaty his palms were from the panic that rattled him, “Yes! Kinda, maybe! I don’t know!”  
She stopped, her smirk dropping and his breathing becoming heavy. Their gazes met as she licked her lips, their faces were so much closer than she had thought, and a warmth spread up the back of her neck. They said nothing, their eyes searching each other for answers to unspecified questions. His bruise had healed better, it wasn’t a deep purple anymore and a yellow tint started peeking through, although she was sorry for hitting him, there was a small, amusing element to the story. She lowered her hand, but he didn’t let go. Never had she expected Jack to feel in competition with his brothers over anything but hockey, but his heart hammered in his chest the longer their stares lingered, terrified for the worst-case scenario.
“Wait, for real? You think I would do that?” Jack nodded shakily, chewing the inside of his cheek. It was ridiculous, his hormones getting mixed up and fluctuating over a girl he’d only started being real friends with, but he felt like they’d known each other longer by how thin the air felt between them. Was that allowed? Was there a rule about being friends with someone? If so, he yearned to break it, after all, he’d been friends with some guys for three years and knew nothing about them, barely hanging out with them outside school. “If it makes you feel better, I wouldn’t.”
“It’s not Quinn specifically, I don’t know, like, we just started being friends and like, ugh, I don’t know.” He truly couldn’t describe the nagging feeling of a thorn that stabbed him in the side, he’d never felt it before, but he hated it. She was his friend and only his, Quinn and Luke weren’t allowed to swoop her away. Y/n was just his friend, no more sharing friends between them, they could keep that to hockey but not school. He’d do anything to keep it that way, even if it meant brawling with his brothers like when they were kids or even other kids at school. He just wanted to freely be friends with someone on his own, sick of being surrounded by friends who had their own, separate friend they could run to, rely on, cry, laugh with, and escape to their own isolated paradise with. He wanted a person. 
With a gentle nod, she noticed the warmth engulfing her hand. They peered down at their laps, pulling their hands away quickly and awkwardly finding chewed pens and hoodie strings. The first time he’d held a girl's hand, and it was because she was riling him up, and she’d never had a boy hold her hand before so the heat in her neck flushed to her face.  
“Sooo,” Jack started, the tension crushing him, “what do you like to do for fun? You already know I play hockey and we did that last week; we should try something of yours today.” 
Her muscles relaxed and she pondered. What did she do for fun? It was one of those moments where suddenly she forgot everything about herself and became the most boring person alive, nothing coming to mind. She didn’t consider herself nearly as exciting as Jack. She wasn’t an athlete, or an entrepreneur, and didn’t do any thrilling things over the summers. How are you supposed to sell yourself when you just enjoy staying at home and chilling? 
“Uh…I dunno. I like doing origami, I guess. Not really as intense as street hockey but I find it relaxing.” She ripped out a blank page of her notebook, tearing it neatly into a square and effortlessly folding the corners and sides. He was mesmerised, she made it look easy and Jack convinced himself that he could do it. Pulling the head out, she placed a swan in front of him. To create what sat in front of him more than muscle memory, it was time and patience. “For you. I’ll teach you step by step.��� 
She tore out two more pages into squares, giving one to him, “Fold the paper diagonally to create the centre line, then unfold,” she demonstrated as she spoke, allowing him time to catch up, “refold the sides to the centre line and flip the paper over, doing the same as we just did. You should have a skinny kite shape. Bring the bottom corner to the top, middle corner and fold the tip of the bottom corner we just folded, down to halfway.”
Jack’s tongue poked out from his lips, his brows knitted as he concentrated hard, watching her fingers move intensely and carefully copying. His folding wasn’t as neat as hers, but he understood what she was showing and he hadn’t completely screwed it up yet, but he was a lot more heavy-handed than she was, too used to using all his strength rather than none of it at all. 
“Good boy, you’re getting it. Okay, now fold what you have in half, but outwards, away from you, not inwards, like this,” she folded the paper as instructed, “and gently pull the neck up and head out. See, a simple swan.” 
Jack’s face brightened, his lips twitching into a smile as he pulled the head out of his - messily folded - origami swan. He knew she’d gone easy on him, and he was frankly grateful that she hadn’t tried to teach him something overly complex because he did not want to deal with Ellen yelling at him to pipe down in front of y/n. Y/n didn’t need that, didn’t need to see or hear that. Jack may not have been an empath by any means and may not be the kind of guy to psychoanalyse people but Quinn had taught him to think carefully before he asked questions. Of course, he wondered why y/n never asked if he wanted to go to her house instead, but when he talked with Jim about it, he said there’s usually a reason, and sometimes people don’t want to talk about that and would prefer to just accept the offer, and that by offering up their home could be one of the nicest things he’s done for her. 
Y/n set her swan in front of him, his hands delicately inspecting the precision as if it belonged in a museum, “How can you do this so quickly and neatly? What else can you make?” 
“Practice, I can make cranes, frogs, bats, foxes, stars.” She giggled, watching him compare the two swans and setting them next to each other, “You can keep both mine, from me to you.”
Jack grinned. It wasn’t much at all, but having a homemade gift held more value than anything money could offer. It was made specifically with him, and she gave it to him, willingly, as a souvenir. He shoved his pens into his pencil case, stacked his books and closed his laptop, sliding the pile across the table. Surprised, she began packing her belongings into her rucksack, they were done with their project according to him. In his defence, they had achieved more than they thought. He turned, resting his cheek in his palm with a burning intrigue glowing in his eyes.
“Oh, uh, I guess I like graphic design…that’s kinda my hockey. Just making sports posters or posters in general really. I’ll show you, my favourite.” She opened her laptop again, searching through the files while Jack scooted closer, resting his chin on her shoulder. Her chest tightened at the noise that slipped from his throat when the file loaded, an electrocuting excitement radiating from him as his jaw dropped and eyebrows raised. It was the coolest thing he’d ever seen, last year’s baseball schedule graphic that he thought was significantly better than the one the team had originally posted. Upon hearing his chain of compliments, she opened more files, discovering their common interest in sports and the odd TV show. He didn’t have many creative friends, he was part of a dominantly sporty crowd, in fact, anyone who had creative abilities fascinated him and he would argue that they deserve just as much praise as athletes. It wasn’t easy producing ideas and visions let alone executing them. 
The more Jack raved about her work, the more files she pulled up and explained with her full chest and he swore he saw her eyes light up the same way his did when he talked about hockey. So, he let her talk. He asked questions about inspiration, the origins of her hobby, her favourite aesthetics and future plans, works in progress and if she would want a future in graphic design too, all in which she answered for hours before the clock hit seven and they had to call it a day with bittersweet smiles like they wouldn’t be seeing each other the next day.  
Good times fly fast. Is what someone would say if they were having fun, but the past week had not been for y/n and Jack. In the last week before their project was due, they had crammed a week’s worth of work into three days, their deadline being Thursday. Lunches were spent in the library, copying and formatting into their presentation slides, and then trying to condense, and condense and condense more into ten overall slides. If they hadn’t worked during class and at the library, they knew they would have failed and with Jack’s hockey schedule, they had no other option. They didn’t hate it, spending lunches together became the best part of their days, that little buzz in their stomach making the mundane classes easier to bear.  
The actual presenting part started awful when the PowerPoint wouldn’t load, then stabilised as Jack did most of the talking but then almost hit the fan when y/n stammered almost every time she spoke (which wasn’t her fault, some people can’t cope with public speaking). However, they had submitted, presented and they were project-free until May. 
Y/n didn’t expect to see much of Jack anymore, she wasn’t sure what would happen next after they had no project. She didn’t pay attention to her classmate’s presentations, her eyes zoned on the wall and her shoulders slumped in her seat. It was sort of…upsetting that it was over, not hanging out with Jack again. Would her friends be happy? Absolutely, the competition was over but during the three weeks, they hung out constantly, what others thought mattered less and less until she smiled more with him than she ever had with them. What she and Jack had was real. 
Jack’s eyebrows lowered and pulled closer together, he couldn’t bring himself to be happy, the bleak expression on her face pulled at his heart too aggressively. It couldn’t be over, he didn’t want it to be over. It was not going to be over. He pulled his phone from his hoodie pocket, eyes flicking to the teacher who was too engrossed in the assignment, and he typed quickly before stuffing the device back.
Wack Huh🤕 my house sundays? i think my mum wants to cook us dinner as a reward u can meet my hockey friends 2 they r coming 4 the wknd
Feeling her pocket vibrate and glancing at the teacher, she replied under the table.
Sunshine💪 Will be there ofc Are these the unique friends? Bracing myself
She smiled, looking to her left subtly to see Jack practically kicking is feet. All was not lost.
*
When Jack said his friends were unique, she wasn’t expecting three boys to be staring at her like meerkats when she entered the living room. At least he didn’t lie. She expected three dudes chilling on the sofa, with drinks and playing video games but instead, she was met with the short one and one with long-ish hair wrestling on the sofa with Mario Kart abandoned on the TV and Jack and the third with dark hair trying to pry them off each other, Jack babbling something about irritating his parents again. It was Quinn who’d answered the door again, apologising for the noise and again she had looked up at him with adoration in her eyes. The noise was something she was used to, especially coming from teenage boys, if Jim and Ellen didn’t get involved, it would be okay. When she stepped into the living room, calling Jack’s name, the three other boys shot up and snapped their heads with wide eyes like they’d never seen a girl in their lives. 
Jumping off the sofa, he stood beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and his thumb caressing comforting circles, “Y/n! This is Cole,” the short boy waved, “Trevor,” the boy with tanned skin and long-ish hair winked, blowing a kiss, “and Alex.” The dark-haired boy gave a kind, welcoming smile. They were Jack’s unique hockey friends she’d heard many stories about over the last few weeks, like how someone hid Trevor’s towel one time and he could only wait until everyone had left the locker room before changing, or how the four of them thought it would be a good idea to hold arms and spin in a circle while on rollerblades and then let go, so all four of them went flying in different directions but it was Cole who ended up, not only taking out a couple but falling into a bin. Or how Alex tried to impress a girl by belching the alphabet but instead she slapped him. 
“Do you like Mario Kart, y/n?” Alex asked, to which she nodded.
“Don’t get too cocky, she can pack a punch. Got that Trevor?” Jack sneered, holding her closer to his side and pointing to his almost-healed bruise.
“That was one time!” Trevor groaned, taking the controller he’d launched previously. “Don’t listen to him, angel. He’s just mad because he sucks at everything but Chel. 
Only Jack had given her a pet name before, especially not one on the first meeting or one like angel. Jack had nicknamed her when they met, but ‘Sunshine’ suited her at the time, a jab at her doom and gloom. Angel, though? That hit different, that felt personal, aimed at her looks alone.
“Mmm sure, at least his towel stays in one place, Trevvy.” She quipped, stepping into the room.
“Jack! Why would you tell her that?” Trevor grabbed a sofa cushion, and swung it at Jack’s face, “Angel, that does not happen often but if it means you call me ‘Trevvy’ again, it so can.”
The sun began to set earlier in the autumn. After a morning of violent Mario Kart matches and rough play in order to cheat, the five of them settled on the two sofas in front of the TV, this time watching The Amazing Spiderman and two empty bowls of popcorn and mugs that once homed hot chocolate. 
Jack’s eyes struggled; his energy burnt out from a weekend of non-stop moving but he refused to sleep in fear he’d fall onto Trevor’s shoulder. The last time he did that, he woke up with marker over his face and a cock on his cheek, but God, were his eyes heavy. Y/n repositioned herself, bringing her knees away from her chest and stretching them with glorious relief. Said relief was fleeting as she felt a weight drop onto her thighs, peering down to see Jack’s head lying comfortably, body curled up in the spot he was sitting in. She bit her lip, what the hell was she supposed to do? Leave him? Push him off? What did it mean, did friends normally do this? But his hair looked so soft and silky, it always did. It always looked good, even after he’d finished gym class. With a hitched breath and trembling hand hovering over his head, she ran her fingers through his hair with a feathery touch, nails massaging his scalp. If his heart hadn’t been thundering just trying to find the courage to lay on her lap, it was now exploding like fireworks at her touch lulling him into a slumber. Her fingers running through his locks sent euphoric sparks through his body, addicting, heavenly, he never wanted to move from the spot. He wouldn’t bring it up though, he didn’t want to talk about it, and it become painfully awkward and never happen again. That moment before he drifted off was Jack’s paradise.
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Ten months of sitting with each other on the bus, sharing classes, and lunches, failing to beat the dating allegations and teasing. Forty Sundays were spent at the Hughes’, playing video games, street hockey, boardgames with the brothers, gardening with Ellen, listening to Jim’s life stories and sharing secrets in the confines of Jack’s bedroom.  
The summer before they started high school, Jack begged y/n to join his family at the lake house for the summer, the boy got on his knees and everything. Of course, she wanted to go, why would she reject going to this lake house she heard so much about? Her parents were the part she worried about, and if they said no, she’d make them regret it, taking her away from her happiness like that. And perhaps they would have, followed it up by giving the speech about it being unfair to her brother. But to her surprise, they were pretty much ushering her out the door. What she didn’t know was that Ellen had swung by and her mother agreed it would be good for y/n. Thank the stars for Ellen Hughes coming in the clutch there. Finally, a summer spent away from arguing and moaning about being grounded.
She’d never seen a lake house in person, and it was better than she imagined, bigger and fancier than some haggard shack. Growing up near enough in the city never gave her chances to see the open country much, let alone large lakes surrounded by well-kept homes thriving in pride, green to be seen for miles and most importantly no pollution and constant rumbling of cars. It was the perfect place to escape to.
The Hughes’ lake house was gorgeous, pale blue with white accents, flowers and hedges (kept in pristine condition by a gardener) lining the drive and bedded outside the front, long driveway where Jim’s truck and Ellen’s Toyota estate were parked up, said drivers unloading the suitcases while Jack explained the home to y/n: five bedrooms, a games room in the basement that looked out into the garden, back porch above the basement, docks at the end of the garden and their boat, a beautiful bowrider with bow seating and the back deck with a U-shape layout. The way Jack spoke with excitement bouncing around his body made all sorts of butterflies flutter inside her stomach, jubilation radiating from his smile as he pointed to the windows, informing her whose rooms were where. 
“Also, Mum said you get the spare room with Cole and Alex, which sucks because I was hoping we’d be roommates. So, if they try anything funny, let me know, okay? Though, I trust you’ll hit ‘em if they do. But my room’s only next door.” Jack placed his hands on her shoulders with a stern tone, searching her eyes for reassurance. He had half expected his parents to reject the idea, his friends were with him after all and three boys in one room never turned out peaceful. Ellen and Jim knew that first-hand. 
She chuckled, “I will, don’t worry. Besides, those two are the least of your worries.”
Trevor’s laughter roared from the truck and the two peered towards him before looking back at each other. Jack slumped with an exhale, resting his forehead on her shoulder.
“I can’t believe I lost rock-paper-scissors. I love Trev and all, but he doesn’t stop talking. Y/n he talked the whole way here!”
Y/n’s laugh settled his nerves as he nuzzled into her shoulder. There were now going to be seven of them that summer, and hopefully for many more to come, getting any time alone with her would be a battle to the death. That may have been their last quiet moment together for that day, so she wound her arms around his torso, stroking his hair until Ellen called out for them.  
*
Only a week had flown by, and Jim had already started to regret his decision to let three boys tag along, the worst part being one sunny day and the other six raining, trapping everyone inside. That was one week, two cases of a blocked toilet, four ice packs to Trevor’s head from doing somersaults off the boat (on the one day it was sunny), six trips to the corner store for popcorn restocks and seven days of y/n, Quinn and Luke almost being knocked over by wrestling matches or whacked with a pool cue (Alex and Trevor almost lost their lives when they hit y/n square in the head). So, when the sun seeped through everyone’s blinds on Monday morning, Ellen and Jim pretty much slammed every bedroom door open, threw breakfast on the dining table and told the teens to make the most of the sunshine outside. 
Michigan was usually sweltering during the summer, cooking the seats and giving bare skin a fright when the leather latched to it, something Jack fell for every time. With the water calm and the lake hushed to birds singing their songs and neighbours heading out towards the country club, Quinn started up the boat. He’d only had his licence a year but if there was anything he knew just as well as hockey, it was the lake. And tuning out the irritations he was surrounded with, unfortunately. Cole, Alex and Luke lounged at the back, watching Trevor groan at Jack ditch him and dart back into the house, leaving him to heave a cool box through the garden and down the docks in which his best friends could have aided him with, but they were too busy hollering banter at him and Quinn, well Quinn chose to pretend like he hadn’t noticed. He was glad it wasn’t him for once. Whatever Jack needed was more important, clearly.
Jack dropped the cool box handle abruptly and spun on his heel, letting Trevor’s voice fade back out into the distance as his feet slapped against the wooden flooring inside the house. When he and Trevor reached the back porch, y/n wasn’t there waiting for them as she had insisted, and the thing about y/n is that when she said she’d be there, she would be there without fail. Besides, she was more important than Trevor carrying that cool box on his own. 
He knocked on the spare room door twice, calling out her name and waiting for her voice. Instead, she opened the door slightly, her head peeking around the corner with red, puffy eyes. 
“Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed, “what’s wrong? Was it the guys?”
She shook her head, refusing to let him open the door further and stop him. He’d never felt so useless in his life, she was right under his nose, crying and he hadn’t been there to soothe the tears away. All he wanted was to reach out and press her into his chest, let her sob into his t-shirt, pet her hair and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he was shut out, stuck between a barrier that he couldn’t seem to break through. 
“Sunshine, please let me in…” his voice was small, sympathy on his face and slowly she pulled the door back, allowing him to shuffle in and close the door behind him. When he turned around his jaw almost dropped, but his cheeks sold him out completely with how hot they flushed. When he saw her crying, he assumed that she was hurt, or that she’d received a nasty text or something that was not what he was faced with at that moment. All that ran through his mind was, ‘Fucking Christ.’ His body betrayed him then, so badly. His eyes raked her up and down, not in the way a predator seeks its prey but in the way that he had no idea what he should be trying to fathom. 
“I look awful. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Was all she squeaked. Jack shook his head eagerly, stuffing his hands into his swim shorts and stood next to her, encouraging them both to face the wall-length mirror.  
“I think you look…” he swallowed, throat suddenly dry and he shifted his weight, “Good.”
Of course, he’d seen women in bikinis before, in music videos, in magazines, in adverts, at the beach and lake but this time it was different. Y/n was a real-life girl who stood next to him in a bikini that showed more skin than he’d ever thought about. She looked more than good, she looked pretty, stunning but the latter were lumps stuck in his throat.
“You think so?” she asked, staring at them both in the mirror, removing her hands from covering her body. Jack never looked any different. She’d only ever known him to have abs or abs in progress. He was an active guy, she expected it, but it didn’t mean she didn’t find it drop-dead attractive, struggling to swat away the thoughts of touching the dips in muscles and smoothing her hands over his shoulders. He hummed in response, just two teens taking in their bodies as if they’d never seen them before. Growing up sucked sometimes. “I wish I had your slutty little waist.”
She broke into a contagious smile, one that seemed to calm whatever was making his shorts uncomfortable and chest tight, “And I wish I had your nice tits but here we are.” 
“Tits only look good in bras, Jack. Gravity betrays them.”
“That's okay, I love a good album drop.”
 She smacked his chest jokingly and giggled, “You're such a perv.”
“Hey, I'm saying you look hot!” He raised his hands in defence, the lump in his throat shrinking but biting his tongue.
“Not just me.” With her arms folded over her chest, she teased him, pushing her chest together and smirking when his eyes shifted quickly.
Jack stepped closer to, y/n spinning to face him as his figure loomed over hers, close enough to hear each other mumble crystal clear, “Oh? Then who else?”
Gazes falling back into each other, smirks painted on lips, the message was evident but getting each other to admit such secrets was their favourite game to play, especially with high stakes waiting for them, now impatiently, outside on the boat.
“I don’t know, Trevor’s cleaning up well lately.” She cocked an eyebrow. Behind his sleaze grin, he loathed the name that ruined his moment. Why was he on her mind when they were stood, alone, on a friendly flirtatious rollercoaster that kindled his puppy love craving for giddy sparks in his tummy? Instead, all he felt was that horrible thorn stabbing in his side again. “But you’re not too bad yourself, I guess.”
“You little- c’mere,” before she could wiggle away, his arms locked around her waist, pulling her flush into his chest as she squealed, “that wakeboard is calling us.”
Squirming, Jack threw her over his shoulder, opening the door and taking them both down the hall. She laughed the whole time, “I can't wait to watch you fall off again.”
Cole and Luke piped up like little meerkats when Jack and y/n closed in on the boat, y/n still cackling over his shoulder. He plopped her down on the deck, stepping into the boat first just so she could hold his hand while she joined them. There was no way he was letting anyone else have the privilege of having her hand enchant theirs. 
“Looking sexy, angel.” Trevor hollered, way too loudly for how close they all were. Jack did his best to hide his irritation, but he let a deep huff slip and perhaps he glared a little too harshly at Trevor, who only winked.
“You too, Zegras,” she thanked him, sitting next to Jack, thighs touching. “You been working out lately?” 
“You could say that. Been hittin’ the gym.” He flexed his bicep, “Was hoping you’d notice. Wanna come take a feel?”
“And get your cooties? No thanks.” She chuckled, watching Trevor slouch back in the seat with defeat.
Jack’s muscles tensed and he lay his arm on the seats behind y/n. His friends received a message that day, one loud and clear yet when Cole, Alex and Trevor, all gave each other scheming looks, Jack knew he screwed up.
*
They started high school, lost friends, made new ones, got introduced to social constructs for the first time and the anxieties and insecurities that came in the package. What trend was in this week? People were wearing makeup now? When did people start filling out and getting taller? Everything was changing, everyone was changing and suddenly the world seemed so small and terrifying to walk in. Of course, the scariest part of it all was the cliques. They say they don’t exist in real life, that they only serve as movie elements, but they very much did happen in real life and y/n found herself at the centre of it all. Being friends with Jack brought out the best in her, and it wasn’t middle school anymore, nobody knew who she was and better, nobody knew Jack, only by association with Quinn (which wasn’t all good, he was always going to be Quinn’s little brother). Grumpy and grim y/n was part-time, and she let people in, made friends who didn’t care if she was friends with Jack and Jack being Jack attracted a crowd. Y/n went from being a middle school nobody with fickle friends to rather popular for all the right reasons with a tight circle. And her best friend, Jack Hughes. 
Another Sunday, another afternoon spent laying on his bed watching Netflix while snuggled in his hoodie. They took their usual position, y/n sat against the wall with Jack’s head on her lap, fingers running through his hair. Although the episode played in the background, both silent and still, her attention droned on him. He’d grown so much over the year. He was taller, and broader, he’d started working out more and every time they hugged, or she held onto his arm, she felt the growing definition. His hair wasn’t as blond anymore, it morphed into a dirty-blond, on its way to brunet shortly but that wasn’t the most noticeable change to her. Jack had grown out of his baby fat, his jaw one of the sharpest among the boys in their grade. The only thing that hadn’t changed was his striking eyes and whirlwind personality. He still followed her like a lost puppy, dragging her and jumping around her, glued to her hip, and she’d grown to love it. 
She hadn’t realised that the episode had ended and been paused, Jack rolling over onto his back, gazing up at her. She continued to stroke his hair, the silence between them comforting as he got lost in her eyes. He’d found his person and so far, he’d let nobody take that away from him. But he, like everyone, had that sinking feeling looming inside him. One day, she’d like another boy, and they’d start dating and he’d have to share his precious time with him. Sharing with his brothers was awful enough, but watching Luke try and teach her how to play Chess spread warmth through his heart, and he’d never laughed so hard seeing her and Quinn get borderline violent during Uno (she almost lunged over the table), so that wasn’t so bad. But at school, that was like trying to hit a puck with a mop: impossible. Boys would like her, see her in ways he did, but also ways he’d want to punch them for, and he would be the masculinity-threatening-boy-best-friend. 
“I always wondered why mum lets us do this. Hang out in my room with the door closed.” He said with his voice low, or as low as it could go without breaking and squeaking. 
“Maybe my aura is trustworthy.” She chuckled, his eyes closing as her nails raked gently over his scalp. “You mean she didn’t give you a lecture?”
“Damn, think my mum likes you more than she likes me. But yeah, it was basically her telling me to not get you pregnant, which was fucking crazy for a Monday, but I was expecting to be told to keep the door open so they could see what we were doing. Y’know, that kinda shit.” When they’d stopped hanging out in the living room due to background noise disrupting their shows, Ellen had pulled him aside one evening and given him a thirty-minute lecture on trust and not getting girls pregnant as teenagers, but also the importance of using protection, not that either of them were going to have sex, they were only fifteen. He groaned and avoided eye contact the entire time, wanting the ground to swallow him when Quinn heard the entire thing and told Luke. Of course, she was basically telling him that she trusts him to not get y/n pregnant if they were moving to his room. They may have used his room to do their project many moons ago, but that was different, it was once before Jim found out and purposely cleaned the dining room table (which had been on his to-do list for too long) so they could work there instead, even though they were thirteen going fourteen at the time. “Don’t your folks worry about things like that? Like for all they know, we could be fucking right now.”
She laughed as he opened one eye. She hadn’t mentioned a lot about home, but at some point, she would have to spill the secrets about it. It wasn’t that her parents were bad people, no, not at all. They were supportive and loving, but her younger brother, who was in Luke’s grade, was a rebel without a cause and made it difficult for her parents.
“They’ve got bigger problems than what I’m doing,” she said, giving him a smile but she knew he was desperate to ask why she never asked him over to hers. She overheard Jack and Jim talking about it one afternoon as she was walking past. They were getting out Jim’s truck and she just happened to be on her way home from the store. It wasn’t that she was ashamed but exposing him to screaming and arguing wasn’t a promising impression at all. “My brother’s a pain in the ass, bad in school, bad reports, near suspensions, violence. My parents just want the best for him but all he does is get hostile, and then my parents start yelling and then everyone’s arguing with each other, avoiding each other, awkward dinners. He’s supposed to play hockey, but my parents can never get him to go to practice more than twice a week, hence I knew about the school grades and hockey relation. I just don’t like hearing the yelling all the time and I don’t want people to know about it.”
“Do my parents know about it? They seem to talk with yours a lot…”
She pushed the hair off his forehead, thumb rubbing circles over a bruise from his helmet, “Probably, I don’t know.” 
He thought carefully, both eyes opened and steadied on hers before he opened his mouth to speak, his voice soft, “You’re always welcome here. My home is your home.”
Just as his dad had told him, offering up your home could be one of the nicest things to do for someone and hearing his words made her stomach fuzzy as a spark of adrenaline surged through her. Should she just do it? Was it okay? What if he pushed her away? Fuck it, what was the worst that could happen, he was too charming to pass up the opportunity and maybe she’d be the first to do it.
She leant down, the other hand’s fingertips lightly ghosting his jaw as she placed her lips to his forehead, giving his flushed skin a sweet, chaste kiss, “Thank you, Wack.”
His jaw dropped, bug-eyed but blooming with ecstasy at the foreign sensation driving through his body and fogging his mind. He couldn’t resist temptation and broke out into a cheshire-cat grin, eyes crinkling at the corners and cheeks burning pink. He felt like the happiest man alive. She was still his person.
*
Homecoming turned out to certainly be a night to remember, in more ways than one. A good few weeks or days, she wasn’t really paying attention, of grand proposals like it was prom, many couples chained together like it were to be their wedding night and the everlonging hope that someone would ask her to be his date. The assumption was that everyone wanted to ask the popular girls, because they held this social value, clout that they had no idea about, making them highly desirable to be seen with at homecoming. Because anything could happen after homecoming, right? Kisses, sex, teens saying they had sex when really their dad caught them making out on the driveway. For a group of popular girls, only one had been asked to be a date, and she would have a magical night to add to her memories. 
At first, she thought with her whole heart that Jack would ask her, but then he asked another girl who she didn’t even know. She waited weeks and even had a jumpscare dream that Quinn was forced to take her out of pity. She physically cringed at that, as hot as she found him. Jack was positive though and reassured her that someone would come, there were loads of guys in their grade, one of them was bound to ask her, ‘You’re y/n! Why wouldn’t someone ask you? You’re the coolest and funniest! He’d be stupid to pass you up!’. He tried his best to wingman, he really did, and he thought he’d hit the bullseye with a guy from his gym class.
Y/n sat at one of the tables pushed to the side, cheek resting in her palm while she watched the couples and groups dance under the warm lighting of the gym. The committee settled of a Great Gatsby theme, with dim lighting, a red carpet at the entrance, extravagant balloons and chandeliers covering the ceiling, gold accessories, red tablecloths and a photo booth. Nobody had asked her along with her friends, she wasn’t originally going to attend, claiming to Jack that, ‘It was just a stupid dance, why would I go?’ but there she sat, alone.
She glanced at the clock on the wall, 21:30. Two hours had been long enough for attendance, surely, and clearly nobody was dying to see her. With a sigh, she stood up, patting down her outfit and began to make her way towards the doors. She took one final gaze into the crowd of swaying and hands roaming bodies, the sea parting briefly and the world fell silent. Standing frozen, her eyes widened slightly, lips parting as she locked eyes with him. He was blatantly staring right back at her, like she’d caught him red-handed in the act. Jack stood amongst the crowd, alone, hands stuffed into his suit pockets and looking the most handsome she’d ever seen him. Like a moth to a flame, their legs moved on their own, weaving through the crowd with lips slipping into smiles the closer they became to each other until they stopped chest to chest, joining the sea of bodies. As if on cue, the once upbeat music lulled into a soft and slow song, the accent lights dimming until the chandeliers projected perfect amber droplets around the gym. 
Jack held his hand out, “Will you dance with me?” 
She didn’t need to speak, her hand melted into his as he pulled her into his chest, gliding his hands to her hips while hers looped around his neck, swaying in perfect sync to the music. He looked so good, too good, or maybe he always looked like that, and it was only then she was letting herself accept it. The way his thumbs caressed her hips made it too easy to seek comfort in him, gentle and thoughtful, not ghosting but not bruising. The perfect pressure that made the pit of her stomach warm and tingly. 
Jack’s heart exploded repeatedly in his chest, like she was the cause of his death yet also the healer. He hadn’t expected to see her alone that night, he really believed she’d be swept off her feet so when he caught her just before she slipped away, out of his reach, he was five seconds from bursting through the crowds, without a care for who he pissed off, they didn’t matter. When her hands touched his neck, the only thing he felt like doing was hugging her tight and close, to run his hands over her to feel the fire burn through him all over again, and again, and again. That addicting kind of burn, the kind that kept him warm. He just never wanted her to let him go, didn’t want to become an infirm flame.
“Thought you weren't coming to this stupid dance?” his voice husky, quiet, not to kill the mood for others but his playfulness seeped through.
A wave of confidence washed over her, maybe it was destiny they’d found each other, “It was stupid because I didn’t have a date. But I guess it's not so bad anymore. I get to dance with a pretty guy.” 
“I was about to ditch until a pretty girl agreed to dance with me.” He chuckled.
“You think I’m pretty?” Her smile dropped slowly, and her eyebrows raised. Jack swore he saw the stars in her eyes then, glittering under the lights and just them two in the world. 
“Always.” He murmured. Her lips twitched up when his smile never faltered, ever since they met, he always looked at her like she’d hung the stars out for him. “I’m sorry nobody asked you to be their date. I thought- I’m sorry, I thought Ryan would. Guess he pussied out.”
He knew he should’ve talked to her, asked her if anyone had asked her yet, if Ryan from gym class did go through with it, but guilt bit him in the gut. That’s what he got for neglecting his best friend, focussing on a girl he met four days prior, and he paid the price by watching her heart break before his eyes.
“It’s not your fault,” she cupped his cheek, feeling him melt into her hand like putty as he leaned down, “but I’m flattered you assumed I would have one. I came with my friends instead, but I lost them.”
“If it helps, my date ditched me too. Pretty much as soon as we got here.”
Their gazes steadied on each other, her hand glued to his face and showing no sign of moving away as he closed in on her lips. She stood on her tiptoes, attempting to close the gap with hot, trembling breaths tangling and lips inches apart. Heartbeats raced at a million miles per hour, hammering in their ears with what felt like electricity transferring between them with how giddy they were. It was just them in the room, their world and everyone was just existing. Lips ghosted, eyes fluttering closed as they took the final leap. 
Until Jack pulled back, and instead let his lips meet her forehead for a gentle kiss. Yet the thrill remained, smiles shone brightly, and eyes still sparkled under the chandeliers. His mind screamed at him, screamed insults and profanities for not thinking clearly, face flushing pink as his smile poorly hid his embarrassment. Y/n wanted to run, but her feet refused to move, heart too swept up in the moment.
*
Winters in Toronto bit hard. Froze anyone to their core, nothing but one big duvet of snow covering every building, road and car for miles, taunting the poor civilians who had to wake up extra early just to shovel their driveways and lay layers of grit on the footpaths. The only real redeeming quality for it were the Christmas decorations plotted around people’s front yards and lights wrapped around fences and trees, hung on porches and bushes. Perhaps the Christmas spirit too, when people decide to be just a little bit kinder than normal or suddenly feel the urge to see every family member they know, or huddle inside and watch films by the fire all day with hot chocolate and puzzles. The best of all, Christmas break. A house with no parents for days and freedom to do whatever you wanted. 
Unfortunately for y/n and Quinn, there was no huddling in the warmth or sleeping in. The two eldest siblings were promptly enforced to shovelling duty in the AM so their parents could make it to work on time. Thick coats zipped to chins and hockey beanies pulled down to the eyebrows. Y/n’s dad was an early riser, so she never had too much to shovel at six-thirty in the morning with headtorches, but since she was already up, she trudged her way down the road, shovel in hand and surprised Quinn by aiding him. Both gave each other a mutual look of disapproval at their parent’s decision, why were they the ones being punished? 
“You don’t have to do this, y’know.” He was so kind, too kind, and such a softie with the way he smiled though his face felt numb.
Y/n tipped a pile of snow off his driveway, “Wasn’t like a was sleeping anyway, teamwork makes the dream work.” 
He chuckled with her, both shovelling the last pieces of snow before huffing and high fiving.
“Hey, we’re heading down the rink this evening, you wanna join? Jack’s dying to teach you how to skate, won’t shut up about it.”
At seven-thirty in the evening, the rink was exactly where y/n had found herself, her hands clutched in Jack’s as she attempted to skate like a newborn giraffe. His practice wouldn’t start until eight, and he was determined to get her skating on her own by the end of the public session. Kind of. Part of him had a longing to skate side by side with her, her arm looped with his as they glided around the ice in a perfect sync, yet the other part melted into a puddle when she clung to him for stability, she was just too cute when she concentrated. How could she rollerblade but not ice skate? It was the same thing, almost. 
“I got you, don’t try and walk, trust the blades and push. I won’t let you fall; I promise.” He instructed, intently watching her feet move and progressively start gliding yet also trying to not tumble backwards. “That’s it, you’re doing so well.”
His words repeated in her head like a verse, a greed for success shining at the end of a dark tunnel, she would learn to skate eventually. Even though she was barely skating, she laughed the entire time, deep down knowing Jack was doing a lot more dragging than he was letting on, he just wanted her to be happy and have fun. 
“You think you can try on your own? I’ll still catch you.” The shock and horror on her face when he let go sent a shockwave through him, y/n was hard to rattle, courageous as they came sometimes and he never thought ice would be her enemy. He found it somewhat amusing, watching her wobble like a baby deer, cautiously moving one leg in front of the other and her arms reaching out to him just for him to slide back, like she was chasing him. 
“Jack this is terrifying!” she cried, but not seriously. 
“No no, you’re doing fine, look! You’re skating!” 
“Barely!” She straightened her hunched posture, bending her knees like Jack had shown her and caught his burning eyes. He did have confidence in her, real, genuine confidence that she wasn’t a lost cause. So, the ambition grew, pushing with more power, using her hands to drive her stride instead of looking for him and by seven-fifty, she could just about skate in one direction. 
With one hefty push, she threw her hands up in victory, forgetting about stability and purposely falling into Jack, who caught her by the waist and cheered with her while spinning in a circle with smiles that ached their cheeks.
“I did it!”
“I told you so, Sunshine!” He pulled her onto her feet, hands holding hers tight and cosy, looking at her like she was the most beautiful diamond of the batch, “When I’m out there with the big shots, I’ll take you to the family skate, and the whole world can see us, I swear.”
“Sounds good to me! You better be winning games though!”
“Duh! I have a practice game today, and if I win, I think I deserve a thank you for being your coach.” Although he was only joking, she’d known him long enough to know he was also being dead serious.
“Alright, I suppose. What do you want?”
He pretended to think hard, rubbing his non-existent facial hair on his jaw, “Mmm, I think if I win, I would like a kiss, right here.” He pointed to his cheek. He knew goddamn well what he was doing, the boy craved affection and attention and he knew she was willing to feed it to him.
She agreed, short-circuiting for a second at his wishes but not entirely opposed to the idea overall. He was cute, and she did wonder what it would feel like to kiss a boy and her friends had all done it so why wouldn’t she? The final call for changeover buzzed and vibrated the walls, public skaters leaving the ice and the hockey coaches entering to set up. Jack led y/n off, taking her skates off for her and bidding her a temporary goodbye with a squeeze before she left to sit in the lobby. 
On the way through to the locker rooms, an arm plonked itself around his shoulder, “Lil’ Hugh, that uh, girl you were with, she’s real cute. She got a Snapchat?” 
Shrugging his arm off, he continued walking, “Not for you, Chris.”
“Oh~,” Chris was his teammate, and unfortunately someone Jack could never find a middle ground with. He thought he had superiority since his father was a former professional hockey player, “Is she your girlfriend? That why?”
Jack turned the corner and entered the locker room, ignoring Chris’ comments and gossip but his fuse shortened every time Chris opened his mouth. Y/n wasn’t some girl to rotate around the team, he’d sworn to himself that she’d never go near the team ever. She was his person; she and hockey were separate, and he hated how badly his jaw tightened whenever her name left someone else’s mouth. All he wanted was to scoop her up in his arms and tell her how much she meant to him. He knew, oh knew painfully well how down bad he’d fallen for his best friend already. 
Y/n almost dropped her phone when the doors to the lobby swung open to a Jack bundling through them at some inhuman speed. She whipped around, standing up to open her arms, catching him with a stumble. The cheesy grin on his face meant one thing, and it was that Jack was about to claim victory for the second time. With a playful eye roll, she cupped his jaw, little fires tingling over his skin and igniting more goosebumps than the cold could. Her lips softly met his cheek, giving it a sweet peck before he engulfed her in a bear hug.
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Sixteen was such a socially vital age to be turning. Everyone had crazy sixteenth birthdays it seemed. She remembered Quinn’s well, he’d thrown a house party and when she found out she was invited, surprised was an understatement. Some guy had managed to get his hands on alcohol, and at least half the guests got tipsy, except this one girl who threw up in the garden. She knew that because it was her and Jack who’d hosed it down before Ellen and Jim got home the next morning. It was also her and Jack who’d nursed Quinn’s hangover and cleaned half the house for him, safe to say that it was a party people remembered. 
Now it was Jack’s sixteenth, he hadn’t planned to celebrate socially until the weekend, savouring the actual day to have at home, just the two of them watching a marathon of The Mighty Ducks in the living room although spent most of the second movie eyeing up the present and card on the coffee table in front of them. Pausing the TV, he took the card between his fingers, slicing the envelope with his nail.  
Y/n bit her lip, in excitement or nerves, she wasn’t sure, but she struggled to sit still in anticipation as he pulled the card out. His eyes lit up, carefully holding the handmade card between his fingers, admiring the poster of himself in the format of his favourite video game cover (‘chel’/NHL). Pestering Ellen for photos was worth it after all, the edit looked almost real. No store-bought present could come anywhere close in value to the card in his hands, and the long message handwritten inside made his chest swell and tummy do somersaults like it was going to explode. Placing the card on the coffee table, he reached for the present, looking back at her for the go ahead before tearing the paper to shreds over the floor.  
“Thank you so much, Sunshine.” He tackled her back into the sofa cushions, fingers gripping the marshmallow-scented cologne he’d mentioned one lunchtime.  
“Anytime.” She fished for the remote, hitting the play button and accepting the fact that Jack had no intention of moving off her, nuzzling his head into her chest as if he couldn’t have been any more obvious to her. She didn’t mind, it was only Jack, and the weight was comfortable and brought a sense of security. Her arms wrapped around him, fingers carding through his hair until the sound from the TV slowly droned out, pairs of eyes fluttering closed, and they drifted off.  
While passing by, Ellen’s heart swelled. In the years y/n had joined their lives, she’d never seen her rowdiest son so calm and hooked on someone like Jack was to y/n. Ellen never told Jack or any of her boys, but back when the kids were only young, Ellen and y/n’s mother hoped they’d become friends just as the l/n’s and the Hughes’ had, enrolling them in the same schools their whole lives just to ensure that if all ended badly, they’d still have someone in their lives. They always assumed it would be y/n and Jack hitting it off being the same age, but little y/n seemed to enjoy little Quinn’s personality more, likely due to being the eldest and always having a louder younger sibling disgruntling them, hovering all the same with that childlike fascination that there’s someone else living in their home too. But kids grow up and the heartbreaking part of being a parent was watching kids grow apart from each other until they were nothing more than neighbours and strangers on the same street, the kid from class until they’d completely forgotten that at one point, they were friends.  
She draped a blanket over the two, carefully prying the cologne box from Jack’s hand and placing it on the coffee table and turning the TV off. To say that she was riddled with joy as a mother was nowhere near as descriptive as what she felt inside, even spotting the card y/n had made Jack just made her want to tear up. It wasn’t easy finding solace in someone, but as his mother, she knew that no matter who he dated, how many girls he dated, none of them would ever bring the peace of mind y/n had and unfortunately for that poor girl, y/n would always be his number one priority, whether Jack knew it himself or not. 
People change ages and they also change mentally and emotionally with it. His sixteenth weekend social turned out to be one of the best nights of his life, not a great one for y/n (she was on drunk Jack duty after once again, beers had been smuggled in). She knew that one day, she would be second to Jack, he’d raved about girls to her day after day, his confidence never wavering when it came to his feelings. It started with Nicole when they were thirteen but nothing ever came of it, Talia at fourteen whom he had his first kiss with under the bleachers, he dated Emma when they were fifteen and he took her to homecoming, only for her to ditch him then dump him a month later and at late fifteen, Jack started dating Kenna but at sixteen they had recently broken up, yet Jack was still stuck on her. She never understood why, not because she was upset or jealous, but Kenna wasn’t ever clear with him whether she liked him or not, but Jack seemed to be into whatever it was. Above all those girls, he told y/n about every single one of them in crushing detail, calling until the silly hours of the morning like a lovestruck teenager. Y/n kept her crushes and boyfriends on the down low, they weren’t anyone’s business anyway. Jack had only met one of her boyfriends, and the air that day was as awkward as it came, behind Jack’s forced smile his shoulders tensed and jaw locked, poor Miles sweat like a pig for the whole interaction. But she couldn’t date Miles for long, couldn’t lead him on like she felt something real for him and after four months she called it off. He thought it was due to Jack, which would have been any guy’s default answer, but Jack had no idea about it until a week after. The worst part for Miles was that y/n didn’t shed a tear, she’d cried over Jack more. 
Y/n and Jack stood outside his friend, Liam’s, house. Music thumping, echoing into the street outside and colourful lights strobing from the windows with teens seeping into and out the house as they pleased. It was the most college looking party they’d seen, but Liam’s parents were on the wealthier side, and they had a large enough house to host.  
“Wack, I have a really bad feeling about this,” Y/n said, holding onto Jack’s arm. Her hand squeezing around his bicep made him all kinds of jittery inside.  
“It’ll be okay, yeah? If you wanna leave, either come find me or give me the signal.” He smiled, giving her forehead a quick peck, “And if you can’t find me, find my friends, you’re okay with them, right?”  
She was, she’d hung out with them on occasions and had classes with a couple of them. They weren’t on a level of friendship like Jack was with them, but they were the kind of friend where you’d still be relieved if you saw them in an unfamiliar place.  
With a nod, they entered through the crowds, snaking through bodies to find Liam and the rest of Jack’s group. In a house swamped with people she knew, y/n had never felt so small and alone, clinging to Jack’s arm like she didn’t belong there at all. She could hold onto his arm the whole night and he wouldn’t have minded; his number one fear was losing her entirely or being unable to help her in a time of dire need.  
After an hour of being at Liam’s, her vice grip on Jack’s arm was surrendered as soon as her friends arrived. Liam was only really friends with one of them, but the more the merrier, right? The level of tea that had been spilt while she and her friends dominated the sofas was astronomical, y/n had updated her mental filing cabinet of high school gossip completely, a full reboot and she’d contributed heavily to it. ‘Anyone who claims they don’t gossip is the biggest gossip’, that was their motto.  
Her friend, Rachel, leant closer into their huddle, “Guess who just arrived? Kenna!” 
“Kenna? As in Kenna who started dating Miles? That’s fucking bold.” Sarah gasped, the group’s eyes widening. 
“Huh?” y/n choked on her beer, “They’re dating? Why?” 
“Right!” Kylie’s posture straightened, her mouth falling in disbelief, “Though, I heard from Josh that Miles was super bummed when y/n/n dumped him, so maybe he’s in his revenge era?” 
“Bold of him to assume I care about what he does.” Y/n sipped her drink, scoffing slightly.  
“Really? Lily, the blonde one, said that Owen told Liam that Kenna and Jack had broken up and Kenna was so pissed about it because apparently Jack dumped her for y/n/n, which we know isn’t true because Jack and y/n/n aren’t together!” Jonie exclaimed. Y/n hated how her heart sped up, there was no way she was the reason Jack left the girl he was crazy about for her.
“That’s further from the truth,” y/n piped up, “Kenna dumped Jack a week before his birthday outside my locker, think she was upset that he planned to spend his birthday with me and not her. Fucking Cam was there too. I dumped Miles way before that.”
“Oh my God, maybe Miles thought you dumped him for Jack and Kenna assumed that you two were canoodling? Like, ‘Hey, sorry but I love my bestie more than you, you’re second place’ which is understandable, it’s normal.” Kylie raised. All drinks had been set by feet and the huddle tightened, the conversation just got juicy. 
“One, never say canoodling, two, hold up. Why would Miles date Kenna to get back at y/n? And vice versa?” Rachel asked, the group subtly glancing across the room at the two victims of their night. 
“Shit, Kenna knows Jack’s crazy about her and probably knows he hates Miles. It’s for the chase. Poor Wack.” Y/n rested her chin in her palm, her friends looking at her with sappy eyes hearing her use the nickname. 
“You two are too cute.” Kylie cooed, y/n rolling her eyes. She despised that comment with every fibre in her body. Nobody broke her heart more than the comments about how cute she and Jack were, nothing fed delusions and false hopes more. Jack liked Kenna, and that was final. In no universe would she and Jack be more than friends, as much as that tore her heart out of her chest. Maybe some people aren’t meant to be. 
As if they’d summoned him, Jack shoved his way through the crowds to the sofa and stood with panic in his eyes, “Sunshine, I need your help, like now.” 
Jack dragged her to a corner of the living room, away from the majority of the crowd but not isolated entirely. When Jack said he needed him, she hadn’t expected the following sentence at all. He’d seen Kenna and Miles, and he’d fallen into their trap, and she felt nothing but sympathy for him.  
“So, Kenna thinks we’re, like, a thing so I need you to kiss me.” He begged, y/n stood frozen, “Please, y/n, you know how crazy I am about her, I’ll make it up to you.” 
She almost shook her head and walked away, but the way he flashed his puppy eyes and clutched her hands in his, she couldn’t resist. He was so adamant that by Kenna seeing them kiss, she’d come crawling back to him in some sort of jealous fit of rage. Kissing Jack would screw things up, y/n knew that. She knew that it may have not meant anything to Jack, it would fog her feelings and mind too much and she’d never be able to look at him the same way again. But they were best friends, they were supposed to be there for each other, and his happiness was her number one priority. 
“All right, pretty boy,”  
Her hands cupped his jaw, his lips gracing into a smile. He wasn’t supposed to feel excited; he wasn’t supposed to feel restless with adrenaline surging through him and he certainly wasn’t supposed to be enjoying the way he melted into her palms and his hands embedded on her hips, pulling their bodies closer. He dipped down, closer to filling the gap between them as eyelids fluttered closed with hot breaths bouncing off each other's cheeks. The house of bustling teenagers yelling to each other over throwback songs and cheering from beer pong muted and everyone they were once surrounded by felt like they had disappeared into the void as just the two of them heard heartbeats pulse in their ears. Just Jack and y/n, y/n and Jack. Their lips pressed together, a thrilling voracity unleashing, and his tongue swiped her lower lip. She was only going to live once, and even though she’d never made out with anyone before, if she wasn’t great at it, at least it was only Jack. She opened her mouth, his tongue darting in with a fervent desire. With one hand sliding to his nape, tugging on the hairs and ripping a groan from the back of his throat, one of his hands left her hip and slid up her spine, pressing her body closer into his chest. She followed his lead, tongues lapping at each other in a rousing frenzy, like something they’d been dreaming of doing for months and getting it out of their systems turning them feral for the taste and affection. All the little touches, hugs, afternoons spent cuddling on his bed, time cooped up in each other's company with no proper understanding of their feelings finally bursting into fireworks.  
He pulled back, chests heaving as they caught breaths with half-lidded eyes speaking more words of yearning than either would admit before Jack dove back in, deeply kissing her slowly, tongues roaming mouths and moans vibrating through chests as they physically couldn’t stop themselves from drinking in one another.  
Perhaps they’d kissed a bit too long for it to be fake, kissed a bit too well for it to be a show. What they did was that dreaded limbo between a mistake and the experience of a lifetime. When they had pulled away for the final time, hands leaving each other hesitantly with sheepish smiles, Kenna stormed out the room, y/n and Jack watching her with giggles. The pair turned to each other and high-fived with strained hearts and trampled feelings being stuffed to the pits of their minds as they’d tried to forget the kiss ever happened. Not that they could, no, there was too much intent behind the way they touched, too many sparks between their lips for it to not mean anything at all. It meant everything to y/n, her first proper French kiss and when the world tuned back into play, she ascended to the heavens with pure elation. She hoped he felt the same, the way he kissed her had too much desperation and emotion behind it to all be just an act. 
Another two hours drowning at the party, another three cheap beers and she just had to break the seal, and wetting yourself at a party was not what anyone wanted in their teenage years. She splashed her face, doing her best to keep herself away, perhaps another hour and she’d go lug Jack home. Fixing her hair and outfit, she slipped from the bathroom, exhaling before entering the lion's den once again but when she turned the corner, her stomach dropped to the pit and shattered into shambles. She was so wrong. She knew it was a bad idea and she should have stayed strong when he raised the idea because then she wouldn’t be watching Jack lip-lock with Kenna right in front of her. She had to remind herself, repeat it like a mantra to drill it into her skull, they were just best friends at the end of the day. Jack was into Kenna, and she knew that, but it should’ve been her standing there. It was her before Kenna, why did he like her anyway? She was hot and cold, on and off with him, one day they were snuggled up and the next y/n was the one cradling Jack through his rambles. Kissing Jack had always meant nothing, yet she deluded herself that it meant everything. With watery eyes, she took a sharp breath and kept walking, B-lining for Jack’s friends at the beer pong table. Anything to take her mind off the invasive fantasies being abolished. Getting drunk didn’t sound all that bad anymore.  
“Hey, y/n!” Liam called as she approached, his t-shirt collar damp and stained, “You good?” 
“Yeah, was wondering if you needed one more player?” she lied, hiding any drop of hurt behind her teeth.  
They split into even teams, re-setting and refilling the red solo cups to the brim and playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who started. Liam won, lining up his aim and watching the ping pong ball bounce over all the cups, the other team (y/n’s team) letting out sighs of relief. The next guy took his shot, the ball landing in the cup and the round continued, y/n forgetting about Jack the more beer she threw down her throat.  
One round quickly turned to two in the heat of the thrill, the beer slowly running low and so Liam pulled out the vodka he’d stashed away from the rest of the party. The vodka had one hell of a kick compared to the beer, the burning satisfying as it fell down her throat, yet it was the perfect remedy as the more cups she drank from, the less Jack entered her mind. Until the room started spinning and nausea hit her like a brick. 
“I’ll be right back; I don’t feel so hot.” She tapped Liam’s shoulder, stumbling as she turned away.  
“Shit,” Liam wrapped his arm around her shoulder, stabilising her, “hold on guys, be right back.”  
Liam guided her to the bathroom, sitting down next to the toilet with her. She shook her head at him and leant over the bowl, panic rushing through him as his hands pulled her hair away from her face. 
“It’s all right, ‘atta girl,” he soothed. He shouldn’t be the one with her in that state, she needed someone close and that she trusted, and Liam wasn’t sure if she was entirely okay with him seeing her in such a disastrous state, but if he left her, Jack would tear the place up.  
She stopped retching, tears falling down her cheeks as she sobbed out hoarsely, “Just wan…ted to forget…saw.”  
Meanwhile, Jack hung in the garden with a group of girls, Kenna and her friends, re-telling a half-exaggerated story from the summer when Owen blundered over to him and gripped him by the arm, spinning him around to face him.  
“Hughesy! Your girl's not holding up so good, she played beer pong, Liam took her to the bathroom.” He explained hurriedly, watching Jack’s face screw up, brows knitting deepening on this forehead and suddenly the girls weren’t important anymore. 
“And you left her there?!” he hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but his fight or flight kicked in and he shrugged Owen off, storming into the house, “Thanks anyway.” 
Jack’s ears blocked out his classmates swear at him as he burst through the house, pushing his way to the bathroom like the place was on fire, swinging the bathroom door open and halting when his eyes laid upon y/n slumped against the cabinet, Liam sat opposite her. 
“I got her, go. Thanks for keeping an eye on her.” He let Liam squeeze past before locking the door. Jack crouched in front of her, his chest tightening at her tear-stained cheeks tinted red, his palm resting on her cheek. 
“Hey, Sunshine,” he said softly, y/n nuzzling into his hand with opening, puffy eyes, “why’d you drink so much?” 
“M’was sad.” She uttered out, pulling her knees closer to her chest with a fuzzy head and weak jaw. 
“And why were you sad?” his thumb rubbed her cheek, guilt building in his stomach. She was in dire need of him, and he wasn’t there. The evil voice at the back of his brain refusing to let it slide, howling it at him, ‘You weren’t fucking there! It’s your fault!’. 
She lulled her head up straight, red, sleepy eyes staring into his, “Because…you kissed me,” she slurred, sniffing, “and I liked it, and I shouldn't have…because you kissed another girl. So, it meant…meant nothing.” 
You kissed me and I liked it. It rang through his head like a parasite. Actions have consequences, his dad had always told him that since he was a child and he was finally realised that he didn’t just mean in hockey, but in life. Not only had he messed up his own feelings but now hers too and it was all his fault. He didn’t want to think about it anymore, he just wanted to night to end, the moment to pass and a new day to begin where everything went back to normal. Where he could hug and hold her without thinking about a future where she was more than his best friend, where he wouldn’t be squatting on a bathroom floor, holding his drunk y/n’s head in his palm while evidently displaying the fact she had been crying because of him, even worse that Liam had seen her. Even worse that she felt the need to drink until she puked just to get it out her head.  
“You’re drunk, y/n. You have no idea what you’re saying.”  
She raised her hand and gripped his wrist, “I’m drunk, not stupid. You’re annoying…and annoyingly pretty. It’s not fair! Why dont guys like you like me!? Why do guys like Miles like me, he’s so…so lukewarm.” 
She tried to stand up, wobbling but he caught her, his arm snaking around her waist as she put her weight into him. He would always catch her.  
“You deserve better than guys like me, Sunshine.” He unlocked the door, walking with her through the foyer until they left out the front door, “The guy who wins your heart will be so lucky.”  
It was midnight by the time they’d managed to trek home, y/n sobering up as they walked, leaning her body weight less and less into him but they walked hand in hand the entire way. Although it was nearly mid-May, the nights were still chilly, and both regretted not wearing jackets.  
Jack walked her to her back door, her head still a bit fuzzy and his heart aching tremendously. Neither said a word, they gave each other a slight nod but to her surprise he planted a kiss on her forehead. Then he spun on his heel and left out her back gate. 
Life moved on since the party and neither Jack nor y/n bought it up either, the whole event just seemed to fade into a memory vault. Yet too many nights of overthinking, too many hugs that lasted too long and sex dreams after the kiss just kept the feelings on a loop. But enough time passed for them to sit in Jack’s room at the lake house during the summer, chatting like usual and laughing at stupid jokes. Somehow, y/n had convinced Ellen and Jim to let her share with Jack, her point being that sharing with boys was awkward (even though she, Alex and Cole got along perfectly, harmonious to be absolute) and Jack couldn’t bear Trevor’s brutal snoring for another year. So, they let y/n take the mattress on Jack’s floor, emphasising the ‘no funny business’ rule once again. 
Jack tossed and turned in his bed, shorts hiked up his thighs from wiggling so much, sheets twisted and his mind refusing to sleep. He tried flipping his pillow, turning the fan on a colder setting, and counting sheep but he couldn’t stop thinking. 
“Jack, stop moving.” She whispered from the floor, irritated at the rustling. 
“I can’t sleep knowing you have to sleep on the floor.” It wasn’t a complete lie, “Sleep here with me.” 
Opening her eyes slowly, she gulped. He wanted her to share his bed? Even after they made out and she confessed her darkest secrets about it to him? He muttered a ‘Please’ before she threw her duvet off and slipped into his bed, Jack shimmying over next to the wall. They laid on their sides, facing each other with nothing but the whirring fan filling the silence. He tried to keep his eyes steady, to stop them from wandering to her collarbones and cleavage but why did she have to wear a tank top to bed? Was she trying to kill him? The bikinis during the day had him sweating and retreating to his room early to deal with his uncomfortably tight shorts as it was. What was she doing to him? 
“Did you mean it? Did you really like it?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper.  
She knew exactly what he meant, the only thing they hadn’t been talking about. “Why would I lie to you?” 
“I liked it too. I don’t care if people know we kissed, by the way. I wasn’t ashamed. I just didn’t want to make things awkward, so I didn’t bring it up.” He placed his hand over hers on the pillow, as if to hold it.  
She smiled at him, “It’s okay, as long as we’re cool.” 
He paused and gazed into her eyes, admiring how they shimmered under the moonlight that seeped through his blinds. “You’re a good kisser, dunno if anyone’s ever told you that.” 
“You too,” she giggled, “when did you learn how to make out?” 
“Honestly, I winged it. That was the first time I’ve made out with somebody but I’m glad it was you. You were a lot better than she was.” 
“What happened to her?”  
Jack exhaled, taking his hand off hers and his arm winding around her waist instead, tucking her into his chest. Y/n’s arm snaked around his torso, the two intertwining and slicing the thick atmosphere that once separated them. With that action alone, y/n knew his answer, she was the only woman back in his arms again. As it should have been. As it should be.
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The weeks before the annual lake house trip was always the most hectic. So much packing, cleaning, laundry and sorting out car and bedroom arrangements. Ellen and Jim had to spend almost two days brainstorming on how everything would work efficiently and make everyone happy. The more summers that passed, the more they got used to their big group and they didn’t mind anymore. What was supposed to be a one-off turned annual but giving the kids fond memories of their childhoods and adolescence was all that mattered. However, Jack had started dating a girl called Tabby from school which meant for weeks on end he pestered Ellen to let her join the lake house. Of course she was wary about space, but she didn’t want his teenage moods to ruin the summer. The settlement was final, Tabby could join for a week, but she had to find her own way there since their cars were full. Or so Ellen hoped. It wasn’t like she hated Tabby, she barely knew her son’s new girlfriend, but she hoped y/n would still be on the invite and if Jack wasn’t going to relay the message, then she would. She just prayed Jack still remembered he had a best friend.  
Saturday nights were Jack’s turn to wash the dishes, even if he complained every time. It was good training for when he got older and would have to do it anyway. Quinn would do his part without question, Luke too, but Jack moved at one-hundred miles per hour, everything else was far more interesting than chores. Especially Tabby, the girl he thought he’d fallen in love with, thought about all the time, wanted to spend the little moments with. 
Luke entered the kitchen, two plates in his hands and he placed them next to the sink, Quinn following with the last one. Jack scowled, placing a wet plate onto the drying rack. Both Luke and Quinn gave each other a side-eye, nudging each other’s ribs behind the middle’s back, silently gesturing who would speak up first.  
Luke rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “Is y/n coming this summer? She better be, Jack.” 
Jack shrugged, placing another plate to his right, “If she wants to.” 
“Does she know that?” Quinn prompted, folding his arms over his chest.  
“…probably?” Jack’s voice was far too dismissive to his brothers, like he didn’t even care at all, hadn’t even thought about it. Quinn’s tongue poked his cheek, Luke exhaling. 
“You’re such an ass, I’m texting her.” The youngest exasperated, his dirty-blond curls bouncing as he pulled his phone from his pocket, fingers typing rapidly. 
“Mum’s not gonna let you and Tabby share your room, by the way. That only works with y/n/n.” Quinn was his big brother, it was his job to tick his brother off, have the last word and assert that he was in the right. 
Jack placed the final plate on the drying rack, roughly pulling the rubber gloves off and swung around to face his siblings, eyebrows knitted into a deep ‘v’, “You guys suck! Why can’t you be supportive?” He snapped, voice echoing through the kitchen and dining. 
“You’re not seeing the point, Jack.” Luke kept his voice calm, even though his knuckles gripped his phone until they were white, “We don’t care if Tabby comes or not, we care if y/n is. And I just invited her so some friend you are.”  
Quinn was almost shaking, seething as he hissed, “Don’t forget who was here first. Goodnight Jack.”  
He shook his head with disappointment, turning and leaving the room, Luke tailing behind him. The clock ticked in the silence that swallowed Jack, his breathing heavy and rattling in his ears as his eyes caught sight of the photo on the wall. It was from last summer, a group photo of the usual suspects around the fire pit, wrapped up in hoodies and blankets with hot chocolates in their laps. The lawn chairs had all been taken, so he, y/n and Trevor sat on the log, y/n huddled between the two boys with their arms thrown over her shoulders. The same distaste coating his tongue as it did in the moment, something about how close she and Trevor had been that summer. The only thing making it better was how she fell asleep in his bed, in his hold and how she also was not ashamed of kissing him. 
But he had a girlfriend now, so why did it still hurt to think about y/n? 
Seventeen was such a floodgate age. You were in love with living and so dearly connected with souls, afraid to get old but at the same time you were so inconsolably fragile. Y/n’s stomach twisted whenever she saw Jack and Tabby together. Slowly, day by day, she watched him drive further into the distance while she was left in the rear-view mirror. She couldn’t control him; he was free to love and live how he wanted but didn’t think she would be easily replaced. At least she was the first to make out with him, the first to cradle him while he cried, fall asleep with him on sofas and beds, tell him he was pretty but now she was lucky to receive a text back. She hung out with Luke more than him since Tabby entered the picture. She played street hockey with Luke, watched movies with Quinn, FaceTimed Trevor, played games with Cole, texted Alex, spent Sunday’s shopping and took long drives with her friends instead. It was starting the feel like the older they got, the further apart they became. So much so that she found herself texting Cole, Trevor and Alex more than Jack. Hell, they thought they texted her more than they did Jack.  
Trevvy R u lake housing this summer? Pls say yes cuz ik jizzy’s got his new girl and ur always no 1 y/n <3 You’ll have to take that up with Jacko, depends if I still have a place in his heart I just say yes to the invite I hope so tho I miss you and the boys  Trevvy U’LL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART ANGEL We miss u 2 I’m gonna be so pissed if ur not I wont go. Omg u can come to me!!!!  y/n <3 Thanks Twevvy But gross no thanks You should still go tho like don’t let me get between friendships  Trevvy Ur so mean to me :( Dw Tabby already did that We r y/n/n supporters in this house <3333  y/n <3 Lukey’s invited me!! But snore in my ear and I’ll rip your balls off <3 
She was just about to fall asleep, a new excitement flushing now she was officially going back to the lake house and away from the house for another year until her phone flashed. Her brother had only become worse, and she started getting used to the Hughes’ getaway home, that was the scary part. 
Wack Huh🤕 I was gonna call u but its late but im sorry Ik this is poor of me to say over text but it cant wait. Im sorry for kinda just leaving u behind now im w tabby. Idk what was wrong w me but Q and lukey opened my eyes and after thinking i realise ive been a dick abt it. Im sorry for not hanging out with u as much and for not texting or calling, im sorry i haven’t been sitting with u at lunch either. Im gonna go back to how things were w us. Im sorry for not inviting u to the lake sooner and that luke had 2 do it. I do want u 2 come ur my best friend ofc i do, i need u. I wont let it happen again, im so sorry sunshine i love u and u’ll always be my no 1 u were here first <3 
She really didn’t know how to feel. There was no distinctive feeling but as he’d said, they were best friends, and she needed him too and it did hurt. It stung like a bitch but not forgiving and giving him a chance would have stung more. 
Sunshine💪 Thank you You’re forgiven but i miss you so please don’t let it happen again. Idc if you’re with tabby or not as long as you’re happy but you have friends too that love you more than any girl could 
Tabby had arrived at the lake house a week after the Hughes’ and honorary Hughes did. She wasn’t a stranger to his brothers and y/n, but Trevor, Cole and Alex had never seen or met Tabby (only knew the name) so when some girl rocked up at the door, the three suddenly got the memo that Jack’s girlfriend had come to join him on their adventures, and avoided her like the plague, subtly. Y/n, Quinn and Luke, all had given each other looks, knowing that they wouldn’t see Jack for the week.  
So, when Jack yanked y/n into his bedroom one afternoon out the blue, shock slapped her around the face. He closed his door urgently, eyes wide in a panic, his clothes skewed over his room, and he stood skittish in front of his mirror, dressed in a white polo shirt and khaki shorts.  
“Be honest, do I look good?” he asked her, biting his nail.  
Y/n blinked, processing how she’d never seen him so unsure of himself. Wanting to impress someone was natural, but Jack’s confidence usually never wavered, especially around people he was comfortable with. 
“Stupid question. You look great, possibly the cleanest I’ve ever seen you.” She stood next to him, like they had done years ago when she cried over a bikini.  
He fussed with his collar, spinning to face her, peering down at the way her eyes softened, “Really? Good, I’d be so lost without you. Why am I scared, y/n? It’s just a date.” 
Her eyebrows raised. Date? Since when did he start planning dates? It couldn’t be helped when you could be in love with your best friend, that slither of jealousy choking her neck. Y/n swatted his hands away from his collar, straightening it out and patting it flat. Her hands slid to his chest, smile tugging on her lips as his hands moved in autopilot to hover over her hips, fingers barely ghosting the fabric of her (his) hoodie. 
“Because you want to impress her. It’s normal, you want her to keep liking you and get to know her more.” She replied gently, watching the way his eyes glued to hers in a trance. 
“You always know what to say, Sunshine,” his voice was deeper than last year, chest firmer and as much as she knew she had to stop enjoying her hands on his chest, she couldn’t back away, “s’one of the things I like about you.” 
Thank the stars he’d closed his door, because if anyone had seen them standing almost chest to chest with hands in places they shouldn’t have been for just friends, the hurricane that would have broken loose would have been disastrous. Yet neither moved, thumbs rubbed circles over fabrics and thoughts spiralled, the same devilish thoughts from Liam’s birthday party. How soft lips looked, how pretty and handsome they’d become, how sharp jawlines were and how alluring eyes had become. Touches igniting the fires than tingled over skin all over again. The aroma of marshmallows that had her dying to bury her nose in his neck. That stupid cologne. How dare he wear it for a woman that was not her. The scent that triggered waterfalls of memories and feelings; him sleeping on her chest, her tucked under his arm. 
“You smell really good, almost familiar.” She mumbled with a smirk, batting her eyelashes at him sinfully. 
His lips quirked, “Marshmallows? I wear it when I need you around.”  
To school, to hockey, to family functions, to parties, to dates, whenever she wasn’t there, the cologne was. It was his own reassurance, comfort. When he’d neglected her before summer, every time he wore the cologne, the smell would bring a longing, a sense of emptiness and he never figured out why. He didn’t care if anyone liked the way it smelled, unless it was y/n. Always y/n. Only y/n. 
She slipped her hand to his shoulder, standing on her tiptoes gradually as he dipped down, wetting his lips. The action felt familiar, the attraction like a Siren’s song as their noses bumped hesitantly, breaths hitting cheeks and lips ghosting, sparks shooting through nerves and through bodies and hitting the fight reflex. She titled her head up, millimetres away from closing the gap and warmth pooling into her lower stomach. He wanted to kiss her again. Again, again and again. Recreate their night all over again and she needed to taste his tongue. But as their lips barely met, his door handle rattled and opened hastily. Jack let her go and y/n pushed him back, both stepping away and creating a sensible distance between the two of them, cheeks flaring at the realisation that they shouldn’t be left alone.  
Tabby poked her head through the door with a smile, “Jack, are you- Oh hey, y/n! Are you okay?” 
“Uh, yeah, sorry I just needed to…ask him something…I’ll, uh, go now. Have fun!” She fumbled over her words, pulling her sleeves over her hands and slipping past Tabby, stumbling into Cole in the hall. 
After leaving Jack’s room in a hurry, she hadn’t a clue where she was going until her legs took her to the back porch, sitting on the porch swing. The sun set in in the distance, the orange and pink hues cascading down the sky and the lake’s water twinkling. She sank back into the cushions with a gentle swing, eyes fixated on Trevor, Luke and Alex playing swing ball down on the grass. There was peace, nothing but quiet for once. She closed her eyes, relishing in the breeze and movement of the swing until the seat dipped next to her. Opening one eye, she was met with Quinn’s comforting figure. He didn’t say anything at first, just sat and swung next to her, watching the boys below hit the tennis ball with too much aggression for what it was worth.  
“You know he’s just gonna keep breaking your heart, right?” He stated, gaze maintaining on the boys.  
She suspired, a bittersweet smile on her lips and eyes, “And I’ll let him every time.” 
Quinn’s heart sank, he’d watched his little brother obsess over her for years, talk about how pretty and cool she was, beg for her undivided attention and fear that she’d like his brothers more. The dramatic switch up hit like a brick, and if it was tough on him, y/n must’ve been feeling one hell of a storm inside. He scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his side. She leant her head on his shoulder, sniffing.  
There was nothing romantic about the gesture, they’d known each other for so long it was more comforting in a brotherly way. At one point she may have had the tiniest crush on Quinn, but spending every week with him normalised his presence and spending more time around Jack made the feelings jump from one brother to another.  
“Try not to think about him, hang with the others instead. You’re allowed to have friends too. Jack’s just annoying, remember that.” He reassured, attempting a light-hearted sprinkle of humour.  
Boat days were always highest priority, even if waking up was difficult. She’d slept well for once, considering she was sharing the basement with the boys. She could have shared the spare room with Tabby, but from the kindness of her heart, she let her have the room to herself as she was considered the guest, and because y/n felt awkward. Besides, pillow fights in the basement hit different and Uno when you’ve got to be quiet turned out to be funnier than it should have been. The basement was just the vibe, kitchenette under the stairs, glass sliding doors out into the garden, pool table in the middle, fireplace with a scoreboard on the right side of the doors and a c-shape sectional sofa and a TV on the other side, bathroom in the corner.  
Y/n wasn’t as upset as she’d thought she would have been, seeing Jack and Tabby together. Trevor had consoled her beforehand that she was welcome to join him and the other two on shenanigans if Jack was, in his words, ‘being a dick’. But she wasn’t upset when they all headed out into the lake, Jack and Tabby cuddled up together on one end of the deck while the other hooted and hollered at y/n tearing it up on the wakeboard.  
“Lookin’ hot, y/n/n!” Trevor called, pulling his phone out. 
“When did you get so good!?” Cole’s eyes almost falling from their sockets in surprise.  
Tabby and Jack were in their own bubble, chatting with arms around each other while blocking out the laughter from the others. Though, Jack’s eyes couldn’t stay on his girlfriend for long, they seemed to flicker between her face and the way Trevor caught y/n as she stepped back onto the decking, handing her the towel before it was Luke’s turn. Something about seeing y/n with the guys just irked him.  
The second time Jack found himself licking his teeth was on Tuesday night. The usual suspects circling the fire pit, roasting marshmallows and chatting until their eyes became heavy. Tabby was deep into sharing a story with the group, but it fell deaf on his ears, and apparently y/n’s too. She’d also apparently decided that wearing Trevor’s hoodie was more comfortable than his. Her melted marshmallow had bumped Trevor’s, and the pair were trying to unstick them while suppressing giggles as to not be rude to Tabby. Usually it was himself and y/n trying to stifle laughter.  
Wednesday he’d taken Tabby to a flower show she’d been interested in. But the biggest mistake he’d made was opening his Snapchat to find, via Alex’s story, that his friends, brothers and y/n had gone down to the go karting track without him. In the video was Cole and Trevor pulling up, both boys flashing the camera a wink before he heard y/n voice ring out from behind the camera. 
“That was so hot, Alex send me that.” 
“You could just ask and we’ll do it again.” Cole’s voice muffled by his helmet. 
“You do know your way to a girl’s heart, Caulfield.” 
He had a girlfriend, why was he seething over a few banterous comments? It happened all the time, they were friends! It meant nothing! 
Wednesday afternoon, only a couple of days left until Tabby had to leave and instead of planning how to make her days special, Jack watched his best friend teach Trevor, Cole and Alex how to shotgun a beer from the porch. They all laughed harmoniously, like seventeen-year-olds should, alcohol spraying everywhere when someone didn’t quite make it but grabbing another can from the crate Jim bought them as a treat.  
“Tabs, you wanna go join them? It’ll be fun! Y/n’s super cool, she’ll teach you better than I would.” He interrupted his girlfriend, who was mid-ramble about a concert she was dying to see.  
“Oh, no it’s okay. I don’t drink, but I’ll stay here and watch!” Tabby politely declined, she was too kind, but disappointed when she realised that Jack hadn’t been listening for the past five minutes.  
He stayed, sitting back into the cushions and resting his arm over the back of the bench, eyes still blankly staring at his friends below.
Lukewarm beer pooled down Cole’s throat; his free arm raised in the air as he’d finally been able to successfully shotgun without the drink exploding over himself. The other three cheered, only Trevor left to gain success. He tossed the can around in his palm, puncturing the bottom with the key and tilting his head back only to have it spray over his face and t-shirt, his friends bursting into fits around him.  
In an instant retaliation, he turned to the nearest person and held the can towards them. Beer sprayed over y/n’s t-shirt and hair, earning a squeal from her that rang through the yard. 
“The fuck, Trev!” She swatted his arm away from her, grabbing his can and sticking it to soak Alex instead. Alex ran, only to have y/n chase him with the drink as it rinsed his clothes. 
“You bitch!” It was his turn to take the can and chase Cole, who screamed the loudest blood-curdling scream as the others cackled, holding stomachs and dodging the firing line.  
The evening Tabby bid her goodbyes before Ellen drove her to the airport was the worst moment of Jack’s teenage life. He’d barely seen his friends all day, making Tabby’s last day special before helping her with her bags and giving her a kiss goodbye before he watched his mum’s car drive down the road. He would have joined if his assistance wasn’t needed at the barbecue. Watching his girl leave wasn’t the worst part, it was what came after that. 
He ran his fingers through his hair and stood in the foyer, strangely absent of that empty feeling when good times come to an end, that longing when you don’t know what to do with yourself. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to hurl himself into y/n’s arms, tuck his face into her neck and feel her fingers rake through his hair, tugging gently through the knots while she vented about how stupid the characters in a movie were. But he couldn’t. Was that…wrong? To want such a thing when his girlfriend just left. He wasn’t going to be a cheater, y/n would never forgive him if he did such a thing to anyone, and he wouldn’t forgive himself either. He loved Tabby after all, and clearly y/n loved Trevor’s company better.  
Shuffling through the house and onto the back porch, Jack froze, the light in his eyes dimming, his jealousy growing from a thorn in his side to a leash around his neck upon watching his friends play basketball on the patio. Y/n shot the ball into the hoop, circling the rim before falling in. Trevor and y/n jumped for joy around a defeated Alex and Cole, y/n leaping into Trevor’s arms as they hugged in celebration. Jack grit his teeth, that should have been him spinning her around, holding her waist. But no, it had to be Trevor, his other best friend. 
Actions have consequences, they said. And what they said was right. But Jack still hadn’t entirely grasped that concept entirely. To him, he was being replaced, that y/n didn’t want him anymore now he had a girlfriend.  
After Tabby left, the basement dwellers moved to the spare room, but y/n didn’t retreat to Jack’s. He had half expected her to, but he ended up laying alone, ignoring the texts from his girlfriend and scrolling through photos of himself and y/n, wondering what life would be like if he didn’t have Tabby.  
It wasn’t often y/n woke up in dire need of a drink, especially in the middle of the night. She also didn’t mean to hang around in the kitchen for too long, but the moon just shone beautifully, almost enticing her into her own little world. So much so that the footsteps against the floor startled her, fear running, thinking the worst-case scenario that either Jim or Ellen were about to tell her to go back to bed. But it never came. Her eyes met his in the reflection of the glass and she turned to face him calmly, a small smile on her lips seeing his blue eyes focus on her for the first time in a while. Jack’s body urged; legs restless as they just stood listening to the kitchen clock tick in the dark. Her feet concrete to the ground, with tears welling in his sullen eyes, swift like the breeze, his arms encased around her shoulders, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. Y/n hummed, winding her arms around his torso and listening to the way his heartbeat slowed. Jack could be told a million times that he’d hurt her, but the only way he’d realise was to feel it with his own heart.
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“You guys are seeing what I’m seeing…right?” Cole asked, adjusting his seating when the leather starting stinging from the heat.  
Y/n, Quinn, Luke, Alex and Trevor replied in unison with ‘yep’ and ‘yup’, the group blatantly staring at Jack and his new girlfriend sitting at the bow of the boat. After last summer, Tabby had broken up with Jack a couple of months later, something about just not being a fit for each other. Of course, Jack was devastated, but not as much as he thought he’d be which showed a lot about his feelings, but life moved on normally. He still had his best friend, and he still had his family. He still had his constants, especially that constant feeling like he was in competition. Regardless, it wasn’t long until he was laying on y/n’s lap, telling her all about this girl, Ari. And as everyone had assumed, Ari joined their lake house summer for a week.  
“It’s kinda freaky, do you think he realises?” Trevor added, y/n shaking her head at him. 
“Either he doesn’t and he’s really stupid, or he’s done it on purpose. I mean come on, she and y/n look so similar.” Luke said, overly thrilled that he was considered cool enough to be part of their group activities fully.  
“Should I be flattered or worried?” y/n blinked at the couple, noting the familiar bikini Ari was wearing, “I wore that bikini when I was fifteen. He fumbled so badly when he saw it.” 
“Don’t blame him, angel. Had me gasping for air.” Trevor chuckled, y/n slapping his chest. 
“Yo,” Alex spoke up, the group turning to him, “I think Jack may be into y/n but just doesn’t know it.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous, kid’s into Ari and all those other girls he talks about. Don’t give me false hope.” She scoffed, folding her arms. They all glanced back at the couple and then at each other. It wasn’t like she was hiding the fact she liked Jack, in fact, she didn’t have to because it had been obvious since they were kids. If anything, they were all rooting for them.  
“No, he has a point,” Quinn eventually piped up, pulling the boat to a stop and swivelling to face the back deck gang, “ever since you were fourteen, he’s been obsessed with you. Like all he would ever talk about. That kid would have never completed that project if you hadn’t been his partner and choked him.” 
“You choked Jack?!” Alex and Trevor’s jaws dropped in disbelief, Quinn, Luke and y/n throwing their heads back and laughing.  
“When do you think he’ll realise that y/n’s actually the love of his life and always has been, like girl’s willing to let him break her heart every year.” Luke jabbed, a cheeky glint in his eyes. 
“I have an idea,” Trevor smirked, arm falling over her shoulders and pulling her into his side, “you guys in?” 
From the get-go, Ari knew she’d never be number one in Jack’s heart. She shared classes with the two since they were freshman, she wasn’t an idiot. She’d seen the way they looked at each other with hearts in their eyes, the way y/n shone like the sun around him. She always envied their friendship, so when Jack asked her out, she didn’t hesitate but the guilt that ate her took the pleasure from it all. It wasn’t fair in her romantic mind. But she did love Jack, he was just oblivious and if it meant Ari had to break her own heart, she was willing to do so for love. 
Ari poked her head out the patio doors, spotting y/n on the porch swing and smiling. She sat next to her timidly, mustering up the words while y/n stuck her nose into the novel she was reading.  
“Y/n? Do you mind if I join you?” Ari’s voice was sweet, quiet compared to the rest of the lake house group.  
“No, you’re okay. Something up?” Her eyes never left the pages, she wasn’t really reading them, just avoiding eye contact. 
“Well, um, is Jack always weirdly protective of his clothes? He’s never offered a hoodie or anything and I was worried it was me?” she asked, recognising the blue sweatshirt y/n wore, Jack’s blue USA Hockey sweatshirt. 
“I don’t think it’s you, he has this weird thing where he likes them to smell and fit a certain way. Or it was a gift.” 
“Weird guy. Does he also not vibe with pet names? I called him ‘babe’ and he screwed his face up! I thought I said something wrong!” Ari just needed to prove her theory. Theory that she was not the one he loved, but the one who just needed to fill the gap. 
“I’m not sure, actually,” y/n closed her book, looking out into the garden while she thought, “he’s not used to things like that, I guess. He might warm up.” 
“But you call him ‘pretty boy’ or, or ‘hotshot’ and he doesn’t seem to mind. Is there a difference?” Ari knew she was starting to slip, sounding more upset than she had meant to, more accusing and she knew y/n wasn’t a bear to poke. 
“I also call Trevor ‘sexy’ and ‘gorgeous’, Cole ‘cutie’. He’s your boyfriend, ask him. If it upsets you, you should tell him because he won't take a hint unless it's hockey, believe me.” She turned to face Ari, surprisingly calm, “Like this one time, we were at a party and this girl had just been dumped, and we kept nudging him to shut up and that it wasn’t the moment for jokes, but he didn’t get it. Literally had to slap my hand over his mouth for him to take the hint.” 
Ari smiled and nodded, thanking her and getting up to leave while y/n opened her book. Data collected and conclusions made. The ambush was odd, especially the questions asked but y/n was in no position to think too deeply about it. Ari and Jack’s relationship wasn’t her business anyway. 
With the sky clear and weather warm, the golf course swarmed with country club members of all ages, kids learning from their parents to the retired living their best lives with a three o’clock beer.  
The usual suspects hung around their current hole, poking fun at Cole’s terrible shot. Y/n also wasn’t the greatest golfer, Trevor was teaching her that day how to play as they went along, claiming to be the best golfer of the group.  
She stood by the tee, correct club in hand with her feet shoulder-width apart. Trevor tried his best to explain what to do but the complex terms he used just made the whole thing more confusing. He stood behind her, arms around hers with her back to his chest, guiding her hands to the positioning on the handle. He walked her through the process, voice rumbling in her ears.  
“Relax, imagine I’m Jizzy.” He whispered, breath hot on her neck. 
“No, I might cum. Besides, he’s got Ari.” She was glad she could make crude jokes with people, and if anyone was going to find it funny, it would be Trevor. 
“Jack would have my head right now if he were here. No way would he enjoy watching this.” He muttered playfully. 
“Yeah, but he sucks and isn’t here, so less talking more teaching, Yappy.” She giggled. 
Jack’s phone flashed, the Snapchat notification that Luke had added to his story filling his screen. While Ari left for the bathroom, he unlocked his phone, desperately opening the story. Luke barely ever posted to his story; he knew they’d gone out but where was a mystery.  
“You’re fucking kidding me.” He grumbled, grip tightening on his phone upon seeing Trevor Zegras with his body wrapped around y/n’s teaching her how to play golf. That was supposed to be him. He was supposed to teach her golf so they could go out and do it together. Until then, he thought the only way to have your heart broken was by being dumped or rejected, but for the first time he understood how y/n must have felt all the times he made an empty promise. It shouldn’t have bothered him; it shouldn’t have made him seethe but there was only so much he could manage before he was going to snap. The more summers that passed, the closer she got to his friends and even closer to Trevor and she never pushed him away, like she was doing it on purpose.  
Then it clicked. They weren’t together, so she was allowed to do as she pleased. She wasn’t confined to a relationship like he was. When he was off the table, she’d retreat, let him go with a bittersweet smile, stay away from causing confusion, but when he was a single man again, she’d be there, smiling when he’d curl up in her arms like old times. Ari may have been right. He called her insecure when she’d raised the issue that she did not believe that Jack loved her the way he thought he did. They’d argued about it, about how y/n had clothing and pet name privileges over her, how she knew he was looking at her over dinner, fire pits, boat days, that he only talked about y/n and never her and the worst topic of all, how y/n was the only woman Jack would allow in his bed. To Ari, the signs were all there. Y/n was not just Jack’s best friend, he just didn’t know it. And it wasn’t y/n’s fault, she’d done nothing wrong. In that moment, Jack realised that if he didn’t wake up, he would lose the woman he loved the most.  
Y/n slowly and softly placed her glass onto the draining board, trying her best to not make a noise because everything was louder at three in the morning for some reason. Three days had passed since golfing, since Ari went home, since the room arrangements changed again. Three days passed and Jack hadn’t made a peep to anyone. 
She sighed, stepping back and hoisting herself onto the island counter, watching the waves in the distance twinkle like a sheet of glitter under the moonlight, the memory of last summer fading back into existence when she’d been watching the moon and Jack snuck up on her. Nothing hurt more than watching yourself slowly drift apart from someone you’d spend every second with. She missed his laugh, the playfighting, when he’d fall asleep on her, pull her into his chest and hug her longer than friends should. She missed the way he’d kiss her forehead, curl up on her lap, his scent and as much as she hated to admit it, his attention, his wandering hands up and down her spine and hips, eyelashes fluttering against her neck and that one open mouthed, shamelessly lewd kiss when they were sixteen.  
“Hey, Sunshine,” his raspy voice echoed in the dark, the window just barely illuminating the room, “can’t sleep either?” 
She peered over her shoulder to the boy leaning against the kitchen doorframe, arms folded over his bare chest and basketball shorts hanging off his hips. Even dishevelled he looked attractive. He pushed off the doorframe, ambling around the island until he faced her, leaning against the sink and blocking her view of the moon. Y/n shook her head at him, kicking her legs slightly just to occupy them from the suffocating gap between them, like a wedge had been jammed to keep them apart. 
“I’m guessing you miss Ari too much to sleep…” she mumbled, voice above a whisper but not loud enough to wake anyone.  
He hung his head before he responded, “I've been thinking about you a lot lately. About us,”  
“Me too, Jack. About if we’re still friends…” she wet her lips, “because you haven’t spoken to me in over a week, haven’t really spoken to me properly for the past couple of years actually. So, what’s up, hotshot? Where did I go wrong?” 
Jack let out a shaky breath and kicked the wedge that separated them away. Hands meeting the cold marble of the island counter and he stood between her legs, eyes coming directly in line with hers.  
“I was supposed to teach you how to play golf. It was supposed to be an us thing.” He kept his voice low as she watched his gaze skip between hers and her lips, his hands shifting closer to her bare thighs. “And instead, I found out, via Snap, that you found a new best friend. I’m okay with you and Trevor being friends, but any closer and that’s off the table.” 
“We’re just friends. You were busy and that was the only time slot open. What’s it to you?” She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows at him. She’d never seen him like that, his forearms tensed and poison dripping from his words, but she truly did not understand what the big deal was. If he could go off all merry with his girlfriend, why wasn’t she allowed to hang out with her friends? They were also being cast aside like she was, so it was logical for all of them to band together and enjoy their summer either way. Plus, they were eighteen, they were getting too old to hold grudges against people, throw tantrums about whose turn it was to play with who.  
Jack’s hands roamed along her thighs tenderly, hooking under her knees and opening her legs further apart, pussy throbbing at the sudden action. Excitement puddled in her stomach when he smoothly pulled her to the edge of the counter until they were close enough to hear their breathing, “I don't like sharing, especially not with hockey guys. You’re my person.” 
“And I always will be,” he’d always been clingy, the king of her personal space but this was a whole new ground he marched on, it was territorial with how firm his stare was, how tight his shoulders and jaw held. She could feel the bubbling heat radiating off his skin, a green-eyed demon flaunting around his shoulders. After Kenna, her envy died into acceptance, but he never accepted that one day she wouldn’t be just his anymore. Not because he had that toxic twang to him, he was just protective of the girl that put up with him happily, blended with his family well, picked him up when he was down, tamed him when he was wild, choked him humble when he was arrogant. He didn’t believe that she deserved any harm or heart break after making his life so much more euphoric, “Jack, are you…jealous?” 
“I dont know, why dont you go ask Trevor, you two seem close lately. Practically tangled in each other by the looks of the photo. Wouldn’t be surprised if you two fucked too since you’ve been all over each other.” A vein pulsed in his neck sending a pleasurable shiver down her spine. She shouldn’t have found it sexy, there wasn’t anything attractive about being accused but he looked so hot with how defined his biceps were, how his veins popped on his arms and hands. 
Her lips twisted into an amused smile and titter, “Oh my god you are! You’re being ridiculous.” 
He pushed away from the counter, taking a sharp breath and running his hands through his hair before turning back, hands slapping on the counter either side of her, “So you two did? Is that where the hickey came from? Did you go see him? Fuck my best friend because you weren’t getting attention?” 
She only grinned at him. Before summer, she and her friends took a weekend break to New York for Kylie’s birthday, indulging in cute cafes and activities but somehow, Rachel had managed to get them all invited to some random frat party where alcohol was obviously on the table out in the open. She didn’t remember much from the party, but she did remember hooking up with some guy and waking up in her B&B with a purple blotch on her neck. She’d managed to hide it from her parents, but she thought Jack too, but she should have known that nothing slipped past Jack and when he’d asked her about it, he pieced the worst case - and dramatic - scenario together: New York? Trevor was in New York. Girls trip? Weekend away? Funny business, because Trevor was obviously the only man in New York. 
“Oh jeez,” she rolled her eyes, “that really was a girl’s trip, Jack. You saw the photos.”   
“You’re avoiding the question, Sunshine. Work with me.” He still hadn’t raised his voice, whether because he was trying to keep quiet or because he’d never raise his voice at her didn’t matter. 
“Because you’re jealous, I can have sex with who I want, I’m not yours and I never was so why does it bother you so much?”  
He sighed in defeat, hanging his head and resting in on her shoulder while his hands locked on her hips. Y/n didn’t touch him, didn’t speak, let him control his hammering heartbeat and get himself thinking straight before he’d say something he’d regret. She wasn’t mad at him; she couldn’t be mad at him even after he’d accused her of sleeping with Trevor. It wasn’t that deep, he was just jealous for reasons she wouldn’t know until he took a breath, calmed and confessed.  
Jack went back and forth on what he would say. Worst case scenario was she never spoke to him again. Best case scenario was she reciprocated. His thumbs rubbed circles over her shorts unconsciously, as if seeking comfort by finding home on her hips. They’d always find their way to her hips, there was just something that took the weight off his shoulders and she never pushed him away.  
He looked up wearily, chest rising and falling and palm cupping her cheek. She melted into his touch, the beacon of hope that she wasn’t upset. That she still wanted him. Her lips still looked as soft as they always did, inviting and waiting to be blessed and bitten. Eyes waiting on him, half-lidded and searching for reply. He couldn’t be a coward forever, too many times they’d been interrupted and too many times he’d wished he’d just gone for it, followed his heart.  
With his hand tangling in her hair, he leant in, closing the distance between their pining selves, lips meeting for a bruising open-mouthed kiss. Y/n unfolded her arms, enlacing around his shoulders, pulling him in with a low moan emitting from the back of her throat when his tongue lapped hers the way it once did. He kissed her with a desperate yearning, slowly and sloppy, hand on her nape as lips connected and disconnected, tasting each other’s toothpaste with little mewls slipping through from the pleasure embracing them. 
They pulled back, panting but hands remaining latched onto each other, “I'm in love with you. That’s why it bothers me. And I think I’ve loved you since the day you punched me in the face. And I’ve wanted to kiss you again since we were sixteen.”
She smirked. That was so hot, so goddamn hot of him to do with impatient passion driving him into a confession. She wondered what else he would do with enough provoking, what other feelings would he give into, “That all you got? I bet Tre-” 
He kissed her roughly again, just as messy with twice as much appetite in the way his tongue danced with hers. Her hand slid to his hair, tugging and pulling a groan from him while his toyed with the hem of her shirt, his hand moving from her hip, gliding underneath the fabric and feeling up her waist and curve of her spine. They pulled away again, but he didn’t give himself much time to catch his breath before attaching his lips to her neck, leaving butterfly kisses down the column until she moaned in his ear. He nibbled at the spot at the base of her neck, biting and sucking on the skin, leaving a purple blotch in his wake. Y/n held his shoulder tight, continuing to play with his hair with a rousing desire coaxing her core and pussy, begging for attention as his body was just so close. Jack’s hand slipped from her hair to join the other under her shirt, palms groping her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers, with his lips assaulting her neck, nipping and suckling little red blossoms over the skin as if leaving his mark. Not that she minded, she finally got to be his girl, years of painfully watching from afar and hurting her own feelings rewarded with his tongue running over the spots where he sunk his teeth into her.  
“I wanna fuck you so good you won't remember his name.” He grumbled into her ear, planting a kiss underneath her earlobe and sending jolts through her veins. She let out a whimper, aching for friction between her legs as he kneaded her tits like dough, feeling the smirk on his lips whenever he could get her to submit to a whiny, pathetic noise.  
Letting go of his hair, her lips pulled into a devilish grin and fingers wrapping around his neck, pushing his head from her neck and squeezing at the sides. He huffed in surprise, cock twitching in his shorts and hands dropping from her chest to her hips again. He really hadn’t thought she’d be into anything like that, but he should have guessed since he caught a glimpse of Deja vu. It had been too long since they really talked, did he know anything about her anymore? Apparently not, but it wasn’t like he…disliked it.  
“Do it,” she loosened her grip with honey lacing her voice, sliding her hand to grip his shoulder, “do it, Jack. I’m on the pill. Show me who I belong to.”  
The fire lit inside him and without any ounce of hesitation, he was back to tasting her lips, fingers kneading her thighs and inching up underneath her shorts. He pulled them to one side, brushing his knuckle over her clothed clit, erection hardening with the way she mewled and ground her hips into his fingers. He toyed with the elastic of her underwear, pulling them to one side and ran his fingers through her folds, coating his fingers in her slick as they slipped through smooth. 
“This fucking wet? For me?” He whispered into her lips, middle and ring finger landing on her clit, massaging the bundle of nerves in firm circles as she clung to his shoulders, relaxing into his chest and panting in his ear. 
“Yes,” she sighed, “don’t stop, feels good.” 
 She left languid, messy kisses over his neck, biting when she’d pull a groan from him. No man had ever made her cunt ache to be filled like Jack could. The merciless cries to be filled and stretched out and it wasn’t like she hadn’t dreamt about it, thought about it when he’d parade around shirtless and adjusting his swim shorts. Dreams do come true though, her message fell loud and clear into his ears, and his fingers that toyed with her clit sank into her cunt, warm, spongy walls taking him perfectly. Her jaw slacked, a winded breath replacing an elongated moan that would’ve got them caught.  
“Mor…more,” she puffed, her nails digging into his shoulder muscles when his fingers plunged in and out faster, eyes rolling back when they curled into her. He bullied his digits at a fast but steady pace, knowing he’d hit her keen spot when her nails pierced into his skin and her hips rolled to meet his pace, arousal seeping from her.  
He threw his head back closing his eyes, he slipped in her better than he’d imagined, he could do it every day, all day if she’d let him. The sheer salacious yearning that washed over him not enough to tend his fantasies. He needed more, to be inside her, feel his cock be squeezed and hugged as if his life depended on it. Needed to hear his name leave her mouth when he fucked her. His y/n, his person. No, it wasn’t just fucking, he wanted to love her, let the world know who makes her feel good. 
“Fuck this.” He grunted, pulling his fingers out, taking them into his mouth and sucking them clean with low, erotic moans of satisfaction. She whined at the loss of pleasure, pouting and darting back to know why he suddenly stopped only to feel heat rush through her and pussy throb at the sight of Jack pulling his cock out his shorts. With a couple of blissful strokes and lustful gaze boring into her, he lined himself up, y/n placing her hands on his shoulders and giving him consent.  
It wasn’t her first-time having sex, but it already felt better than the last. He pushed himself in slowly, y/n nuzzling into his shoulder as he disappeared into her until bottoming out, gummy walls hugging him with a sensation resembling ecstasy fogging his mind. She broke into a smile, he felt so perfect, stretching and filling her in all the ways she’d hoped and wanted. His pace started gradual, rocking his hips, watching his cock sink in and out with shaky breaths, hands gripping the globes of her ass.  
His pace quickened, her whines muffled by his shoulder, the only sound that mattered to him, “You feel incredible, can’t help myself, y/n.” Rocking into rutting, his cheeks flushed red, throwing his head back and screwing his eyes shut as his craving tormented him as if he had committed the worst sins of all. 
“Fas-faster, Jack, fuck,” her legs wrapped around his waist, locking her heels together and inhaling his scent as he hit deeper angles. She struggled to keep her voice down, if only she could really let go and let him hear how much she enjoyed the wet sounds of his cock plunging in and out of her sopping folds. His hips thrusted harsh, each fast stroke dragging whimpers every time he hit her cervix, sweat forming on his brow and sticking their skins together.  
His fingers laced in her hair, yanking her face from his shoulder with a mewl and bearing her neck to the open, her eyes squinting closed as he admired his artwork cascading over her skin from earlier. Her cunt ached for him, relished in how he pounded in and out, in and out, squelching echoing into the kitchen. “Who does this pretty pussy belong to, y/n? I wanna hear you say it.” He rasped. 
“You,” she croaked, breasts pressed flush against his chest. She only wished she had taken the t-shirt off to properly feel his skin cling to her, “you, Jack! I've wanted to do this for so long,” 
Her words triggered an animalistic burst of energy, hips thrusting desperately. She’d wanted to feel him fuck her all that time and never said anything. He thought about how many nights she’d spent with her fingers inside herself, moaning his name and cumming at the idea of him. “Takin’ me so well. Made for me.” 
“Oh fuck,” she moaned, slightly louder than she had intended but Jack’s mouth reattached itself to her lips, his grip in her hair falling slack as he kissed her deeply.  
“Trevor couldn't make you feel like this, could he?” he growled, her pants hot on his cheeks as she batted her eyelashes at him, tits bouncing with every consuming buck into her. Her mouth opened to respond, no words falling out except small cries of elation and the pit of her stomach feeling a surge of heat spill into it, like a knot tightening on the verge of snapping. 
His hands massaged her ass roughly, all those days of watching it fit snug in the little bikinis and it was finally in his clasp. The days of containing himself when she’d wiggle on his lap and clueless to how painful his raging erection was. Letting every pornographic fantasy that kept him up at night out in erratic, mouth-watering thrusts on the kitchen island of all places.  
Y/n’s eyes snapped open, the warm and pleasant euphoria in her pussy suddenly cold and empty when Jack pulled out abruptly, pulling her off the counter all-together and harshly spinning her, back against his chest and voice husky next to her ear, “Bend over, sweetheart.” 
With a coy smile, she did as she was told, sticking her ass out into his crotch and tits chilly and squished against the marble. He smoothed his hands over the curves and with his finger pulling her shorts and underwear to the side as before, shoving his cock inside her harder and faster. 
“Oh shit-” she moaned in a hoarse breath, “Please fuck me, fast and hard. Make me cum, Jack! Wanna cum!” 
Biting his lip at her demands, lust glazed over his eyes, “Fuckin’ tease.” Wrapping one hand around her throat, he tugged her back flush to his chest, pelvis bulling into hers as a rapid and feral pace. The only sound bouncing off the kitchen walls being the melody of skin slapping and short, high-pitched whimpers. 
“That's my girl, make such pretty noises for me,” his stomach contorted, burned, he couldn’t let himself cum yet, she felt too good it couldn’t be over too soon. Fingers slipping down the front of her panties, he circled her swollen clit, her head falling back onto his shoulder as his grip around the sides tightened. Sensual, needy pleasure seduced her senses, choking on her saliva in spurts of whines. Pent up feelings and emotions encasing her into a paradise of raw, sloppy sex with her best friend. “Who do you belong to? Whose pretty pussy is this? Who treats you like the goddamn beauty you are?” 
“Pussy belongs to you, belongs to you Jack, you,” her head lulled against him, his grip ever so slightly loosening. The knot building began to falter, harder to hold and keep tight the more he rutted with a brutal stamina. “M’gonna cum, please let me cum.” 
He pulled his fingers from her clit, hand splaying over her stomach as his thrusts became sloppy, languid but deeper and exhilarating. His other hand dropped from her throat, sliding down her chest to grasp her tit as his hips burrowed into her from behind. He wasn’t far off, the pool of heat ready to overflow, pussy clenching around him tight. 
“Squeezin’ me so tight, Sunshine. So fuckin’ perfect,” a strangled moan escaped her lips, heat dripping from her cunt and down her thighs, muscles relaxing into Jack’s body as he held her like a ragdoll against him while he made his last few thrusts, chasing his own release with soft grunts. He shuddered, jaw slacking and flooding her with warmth.  
“Good girl. Such a good girl.” He pressed gentle kisses to her jaw, a ring of thick and hot cum soaking his cock. The kitchen fell back into an eerie silence, just heavy breathing and the clock hands reminding them that everything was louder at the unholy hours of the morning and that they both should hope no one heard them, or at least say nothing if they did.  
He released her throat, arms winding around her midsection, nose nuzzling into the crook of her neck while his cock remained nestled comfortably in her. One of y/n’s hands lay over his on her stomach, the other reaching up feebly to pet his hair. They stood like that for a moment, catching breaths in a pleasant haze, his eyelashes fluttering against her skin. As satisfying as the high was, as warm as his embrace was, she couldn’t let the thought go. They hadn’t found closure before they lunged for each other, did she let a taken man drive into her or not. The last thing she wanted was to be the other woman, it wasn’t fair on Ari. Sweet kisses littered her neck and up to her jaw, his lips laying the final on her temple before resting his cheek against her hairline. 
“What about Ari?” she whispered, staring out into the abyss of the house, “What are we supposed to tell her now…” 
“Nothing. S’just you ‘n me now…” a weight fell off his chest, finally saying it out loud, making sure it wasn’t a dream. The afternoon Ari left, she’d given him a poetic speech, a much needed one to drill it into his head that everyone was seeing what he wasn’t accepting or letting himself accept. Ari had grown up alongside them too, she’d seen their good days, their bad days, the days Jack pined over her, the days y/n pined over him. She told him to think about who he loved more and always had. Reminded him that love is a constant that sometimes falters, but always bounces back in the end. And that only person constant in his life was y/n. No matter what happened, she was always there, even if it hurt her watching Jack with someone else. And now, he got it. “I love you, a lot. Always have. Just not sure how you feel.” 
“You’re so stupid. You think I kissed you to make your ex jealous for shits and giggles? Let you spend hours rambling about how in love you were with those other girls because I didn’t value your happiness?” she gave a small, airy giggle, “Let you make empty promises that broke my heart repeatedly and still let you cry in my arms? Let you fuck me in your kitchen, and you don’t know if I love you? Jack Rowden Hughes, I fell in love with you the day you told me that your home is mine.”  
“Thank fucking God,” he breathed, craning his neck to capture her lips into a passionate and earnest kiss, no tongue, no teeth just souls connecting. They may have not pulled out and cleaned up yet, time was moving and getting closer to four thirty, but in their world, everything froze and felt as if the universe had fallen into place.  
He pulled away, forehead leaning into hers, “You’ll come watch me play, right? In the NHL?”
“I’ll come watch you fall.” She pulled him into another sincere kiss and for a moment, nothing seemed to matter anymore.
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It was October when Jack made his NHL debut for the New Jersey Devils. She was there on draft day; she was there afterwards, and she planned to always be there. Y/n had made it to university for graphic design, coincidentally close to him which worked in their favour. He always joked about how even after she graduated, she could work for the Devils social team, and he’d get on his knees and beg if he had to.  
The crowds were always loud in the Prudential Center, a sea of red and black, chants and cheering with elation for another game. The team entered the ice for warmups, skating in laps, manoeuvring pucks with skilled hand work, and shooting practice before the game started. Y/n could have sat in the family room with the other wives and girlfriends, but when she’d mentioned her weekend plans to her university friends, they’d asked if they could tag along for the experience. So, there they were, screaming and waving at the players, offering trades for pucks and falling in love with athletes, into the realm of hockey men. Jack didn’t need to look hard; he could spot her for miles even in a crowd where everyone looked the same. After taking a couple shots at the net, he stopped in front of her and her squealing friends, tapping the top end of his stick at her and throwing a puck over the plexiglass. There really was no time like the present. All Jack’s nerves faded when she clasped the puck in her hands, looking back at him with a smile and a nod. It was just Jack and his girlfriend, y/n, now against the world.
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xomakara · 4 months ago
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Next Door To Forever
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SUMMARY |  You thought you would never see the guy you'd have a one night stand with but when you meet Haechan again at a club and when you find out he's your neighbor, you can't help but be intrigued by him.
PAIRINGS | Haechan x Reader
GENRE |  college!student!Haechan, college!student!Reader, Nerd!Haechan, college au, one night stand, smut,
CONTENT/WARNINGS | profanity/strong language, drinking, unprotected sex (wrap it up ya’ll!), fingering, dirty talk, oral sex (both male/female receiving/giving), public blowjobs, creampies, praise kink, pet names
RATING | Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+
LENGTH |  12,532 words
TAGLIST | @hisunflower
NETWORKS | @k-vanity @ksmutsociety
AUTHOR’S NOTE | Oh god, I hope this turned out okay. Maybe it's because I'm always the worst critic of my own work so I always never feel satisfied about it lol. Been awhile since I wrote a Haechan fic and lately, he (and Jaehyun) have been flooding my feed. I hope you all like it!
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After moving the last of your boxes into your spanking new place that would be yours for the next few years of school, you flop down on the bare mattress in the middle of the living room that the movers left there. You were just thankful that they set up the frame. You really weren't up to doing any more heavy lifting and the mattress was the only thing left to do before the moving van left.
Your new place was located in an apartment complex that was a good distance away from the main campus. It was perfect for you because you weren't fond of all the ruckus going on in the dorms. You were a junior so the thought of having to live in a crowded building full of underclassmen was less than ideal. Plus you really weren't interested in going through all the trouble of trying to get roommates. So you decided to take this opportunity to live alone and get an apartment of your own.
Apartment hunting was no joke and you had been at it for almost two weeks until you finally found this place. It wasn't too far from campus but the price was right and the size was just perfect for you. The rent was pretty reasonable and it wasn't in a bad neighborhood.
You sigh as you stretch yourself out and lay your head on the pillow. You didn't have a TV yet or any furniture besides a mattress, a couch and a coffee table. That would be something you'd have to take care of later. Your phone rings and you pull it out of your back pocket and check the caller ID. It's your parents and you know what they're calling about. They're still trying to convince you to let them help with the apartment.
"Hi, mom."
"Hi honey. How did the move go?" Your mom's voice sounds through the speaker.
"Good. It's finally over." You speak into the speaker and run a hand through your hair, sweeping your bangs back off your face.
"We wish we could have been there to help." Your mom sighs through the receiver.
"It's fine mom. I managed." You sit up on the bed.
"Are you sure?" Your mom insists.
"Yeah, it's not like I had a lot to bring with me." You say as a look around the large empty space, save for the boxes lining the wall and the mattress that you are sitting on.
"Do you need anything? Any furniture? Food?" Your mom offers.
"Food would be great, mom. Thanks." You respond, suddenly getting the realization that you were hungry and hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.
"Your father and I are sending you a care package with some food, toiletries and other things you might need." Your mom says.
"Thanks." You smile, looking forward to the package. "You don't have to, y'know." You add.
"Don't worry. We'll also send the money that we would have used for furniture. Just go and get what you want and don't worry about the cost." Your mother says.
"Really, mom?" You ask, almost in disbelief.
"Yes, it's not a big deal." Your mother adds.
"But mom, you and dad are retired. I don't want to use your retirement money." You argue.
"Your dad won't take no for an answer. Besides, your brother and sister-in-law are sending you some money too." She explains.
You sigh in defeat. Your mom and dad had always been stubborn and they were hard-headed when it came to taking care of their kids. You didn't want to fight it, especially since it would be pointless. "Alright, mom. But make sure you take money from Minhwan-oppa and Nari-unnie too. I don't want you and dad spending too much money on us. I want you guys to spoil yourself once in a while."
"That's very thoughtful of you, sweetheart. We will do that. I'll text you when we send the package." Your mother replies.
"Ok, thanks mom." You say gratefully.
"No problem. Love you, honey." She answers.
"Love you too." You finish the call with a smile and lean back on the bed to rest.
You hang up and lay there in silence. It had been a long day and you were exhausted. You had been packing and moving for the last few weeks and the stress was starting to get to you. You were ready for a break.
Your phone rings again. It's your brother, Minhwan.
"Hey, oppa."
"How are you holding up, Y/N?" Minhwan says into the receiver.
"Tired but otherwise ok." You muttered. "Did mom talk to you? She's been on my ass about sending money to me."
"She mentioned it but I told her I wanted to talk to you first." He answered.
"Thanks, oppa. I appreciate it." You sigh gratefully.
"So, do you need anything? Money, clothes, food, whatever? I'm sending you an additional package with mom's." Minhwan tells you.
"Well, yeah. I need food and toiletries and stuff. But, I don't want to ask too much of you and unnie." You admit.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to Nari and we'll make sure you get everything you need. And I mean everything." Minhwan emphasizes the last word.
"Oppa..." You murmur, catching his tone.
"It's ok. You're our baby sister. Let us do this. Don't worry, we're not hurting for money. I'm a doctor and Nari is a lawyer, remember?" He laughs.
"Ok, I guess. But don't spoil me too much. I'm not going to be independent if you keep spoiling me." You frowned. "At least spend it on mom and dad. Buy them a trip somewhere or something."
"We'll take care of that too." Minhwan said. "But the money will be going to you first."
"What? But-" You stuttered, stunned.
"I gotta go, Y/N. Nari's calling me." You heard the unmistakable sound of her voice on the other side.
"Oppa-"
"I'll talk to you later."
He hangs up before you can say anything else. You sigh and close your eyes. You could use a nap right now.
Your stomach growls loudly and you sit up and stretch. "Well, I can't go to sleep now. Not until I eat something."
You stand up and grab your wallet, then head downstairs to the nearest convenience store. The streets were pretty quiet and there was a slight breeze. You could smell the scent of spring in the air and hear the rustling of leaves in the trees. It was a beautiful night. You reach the corner and turn onto the street where the convenience store is located. There are a couple of other college kids hanging out around the front door. One of them calls out to you as you walk past.
"Hey, Y/N!"
You stop and turn to look at him. It's Mark, a friend of yours that's in the same program as you, that also lives in the same apartment building. "Hi, Mark."
"What's up? Where are you off to?" He smiles at you.
"I was just gonna get something to eat. I just moved into the building, you know." You laughed.
Mark's eyes widened. "Oh shit. Was today moving day? Man, I would have helped you."
You shake your head and smile at him. "It's cool, I had a moving service come in and do most of the work."
"Nice. Well, if you need anything, let me know." Mark said sincerely.
"Will do. Thanks." You let out a laugh.
"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Another one of your friends, Jaemin, approaches.
"Hey, Jaemin." You greeted. "We're just chatting. What are you doing here?"
"Getting some snacks for tonight. Jeno and I are watching horror movies at his place. Oh, wasn't today moving day for you? You wanna hang out with us later?" He asks excitedly.
"I'll pass. I'm tired and I still have stuff to unpack." You said, remembering the boxes stacked on top of each other.
Jaemin frowned. "Bummer. Maybe the gang will stop by and help you unpack."
You shake your head. "No thank you. I don't need Hendery and Yangyang causing a ruckus. Remember when we helped move into their place?"
Jaemin snorts. "How can I forget? The two were like monkeys, bouncing off the walls. Renjun almost got a black eye when Yangyang threw a shoe at him."
You laughed. "Yeah, that was pretty funny."
"Well, if you change your mind, give me a call. Or, if you're too tired, text me and we'll bring the movies over." Jaemin offered.
"Sounds like a plan." You smile.
Jaemin and Mark bid you farewell and you walk inside the convenience store. The fluorescent lights are bright and the music is too loud. You walk over to the frozen food section and pick out a few microwave dinners, a few bottles of water, and lots of instant ramen. You head to the cash register and pay for your food, then leave the store.
You make your way back to your apartment building and enter the elevator. The doors close and the elevator begins its ascent. The floor numbers blink as the elevator ascends and soon enough, the doors open again. You exit the elevator and head to your apartment. You keyed in your passcode and entered the small apartment. The lights were on and the air conditioner was working. You closed the door behind you and kicked off your shoes.
You put the microwavable meals and the bottle of water into the fridge, placed the bag of ramens on the counter and flopped onto the mattress that was still on your living room floor. You were exhausted. Moving was tiring but you needed to at least move your mattress unto your bed frame.
You laid there for a few minutes before getting up and dragging the mattress into the bedroom. You set it on top of the bed frame and began pushing the bed into the corner. It took a while but you eventually got it where you wanted it. You sat down and leaned against the wall, looking at the room. There were still a few boxes that needed to be unpacked but it was coming together. You felt satisfied and proud.
You stood up and headed to the kitchen. You grabbed a bottle of water and a packet of instant ramen. You poured the water into a pot and put the noodles in. You set the heat on high and watched as the water began to boil.
You looked around and sighed. You'd have to unpack more tomorrow.
You were too tired to think about it. You were ready to eat, take a shower, and crash for the night.
You took the pot off the heat and dumped the contents into a bowl. You rummaged around in one of the boxes that held your utensils and pulled out a pair of chopsticks. You sat down on the couch and began eating. After finishing the noodles, you went to take a shower. You stripped down and stepped into the bathroom. When you were done, you wrapped a towel around your body and headed to the bedroom. You rummaged through the boxes and found some clean underwear, a tank top, and a pair of shorts.
You put the clothes on and got into bed. It was only 8 pm but you were exhausted. You pulled the covers up and closed your eyes. You were asleep within minutes.
You wake up the next morning and check your phone. It was 9 am. You had a few messages and missed calls from your parents and siblings. You reply to their texts, telling them you were fine, and let them know that you were going to unpack.
You put your phone away and get out of bed. You go to the kitchen and start unpacking the rest of your dishes.
It takes you a couple of hours but you finally get everything in the apartment unpacked.
A knock is heard on your door, startling you. "Coming!"
You open the door and find Mark, Jaemin, and the rest of your friends standing in the hallway.
"Hey, guys." You say as you let them into your apartment.
"Yo, Y/N! What's up?" Renjun asks.
"Nothing much. Just finished unpacking." You tell him. The guys scan your apartment and whistle in surprise.
"That's good." Chenle says. "Need any help?"
You shake your head. "I'm good. But thanks for offering."
"Alright, well we're going out. Wanna come with?" Mark asked.
"Where to?" You furrowed your eyebrows.
"To a club. There's a new one that opened downtown and the guys are dying to check it out." Yangyang muttered.
"Dude, it's like noon. Isn't it too early for that?" You questioned him.
"That's why I'm saying we should go during the day. Less people, less lines." He reasoned.
"Hey, if we're gonna party, we gotta get there early. Gotta scope out the place and see if it's worth our time." Hendery smirked.
"Whatever." You rolled your eyes. "I'm gonna pass."
"Boo. Y/N, don't be a killjoy." Jisung whined.
"Do you hear something? Is the wind blowing or is it a ghost?" You ask, pretending to be surprised.
"Oh, fuck you, Y/N." Jisung retorted.
You burst into laughter and the others joined in.
"I can't believe you fell for that." You say, wiping tears from your eyes.
"You're the worst." He says, giving you the stink eye.
"Fine, I'll go with you all but come back at like 5 pm. I'm not going out at noon." You scoffed.
"Fine. Fine." They all muttered as they turned to walk away.
"And invite Jaehyun!" You called out.
"Boo! You just want to eye-fuck him all the time." Jaemin scoffed.
"So what?" You smirked. "He's hot. Can't blame me for appreciating a piece of fine man."
"Fine. I'll invite him. But don't get all touchy-feely with him." Mark frowned.
"Why? He's single. I'm single. What's the harm in having a little fun?" You retort.
"You're a player, Y/N." Mark sighed.
"You know it." You laughed.
"Just keep it PG-13, ok?" He says.
"No promises." You grin mischievously.
"Ugh. See you later." He says in defeat as he walks away.
They leave and you close the door. You spent a few hours organizing and rearranging your furniture and making sure that everything was in its proper place. You didn't have much to unpack.
You go to the bathroom and start getting ready for the night. You take a long hot shower and then blow-dry your hair. You put on some mascara and a light coat of lip gloss. You put on a tight black dress that showed off your curves and some black heels.
You check yourself in the mirror and are satisfied with the results. You grab your purse and head downstairs. Your friends are already there and are waiting for you.
"Hey, Y/N! Ready to get wild tonight?" Renjun smirked.
You raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm always ready."
"Cool, let's go!" Chenle said.
The group heads downtown and walks a couple of blocks until they reach the club. The bouncer checks their IDs and lets them in.
The music is loud and the place is packed. The lights are flashing and the entire floor is moving. The place is dark except for the light over the DJ and the bar. Everyone is moving and jumping to the music. You see some kids from campus.
You take a moment to breathe in the atmosphere. The smell of sweat and alcohol hits your nose. The room is hot and humid and the sound of the music seems to vibrate through the floor. The bass is heavy and it pounds against your chest. You can feel the energy in the air and the tension. There's something different about being in a place full of strangers. You feel invigorated, alive. It's intoxicating.
"I'll get us some drinks." Yangyang said.
"Me too." Hendery said.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Renjun said.
"I'll come with." Jisung said.
"I'm gonna dance." Jaemin said.
"Me too." Chenle said.
"We'll find a table." Mark said. He grabbed your wrist. "Let's go."
The two of you push your way through the crowd and find an empty table near the back of the club.
"So, are you gonna try to hook up with Jaehyun tonight?" Mark asks.
"I might." You smirk. "Oh! Is that Ten over there?"
"You gonna try to hook up with Ten too?" Mark looks amused.
You shrug. "Maybe. Or Johnny. He's got some nice muscles, don't you think?"
"Y/N, you're unbelievable." Mark rolls his eyes.
"I'm a single girl with needs. Sue me." You laugh.
"I can't deal with you." Mark rolled his eyes.
You and Mark chat for a while, and then the others join you.
"Here, drinks." Yangyang hands out beers.
"Thanks." You grab a bottle and take a swig.
"Cheers!" Renjun says.
"To a fun night!" Hendery adds.
You all clink bottles and drink.
"Hey, I haven't seen Jeno around. Where is he?" You ask.
"He said that he's trying to drag someone out of hibernation." Jaemin rolled his eyes.
"Who?" Chenle quirked his brows.
"Haechan." Mark said, nursing a beer in his hand.
"Who?" You asked, confused.
"The guy who was with Jeno at the frat party. You remember him right?" He said, raising an eyebrow at you.
"I can't remember shit. I was wasted as fuck." You shrugged.
"Fair."
"So, where's Jaehyun?" You asked.
"Over there, talking to Ten." Yangyang pointed. "Hey! Where are you going?!"
The boys watched as you waved at them while you approached Ten and Jaehyun. They watched as Ten and Jaehyun gave you appreciative looks.
"She's unbelievable." Mark said, shaking his head.
"She's gonna hook up with both of them." Hendery stated, noticing the way Jaehyun snaked an arm around your waist.
"I bet she's gonna end up taking both of them home." Renjun scoffed.
"That's our Y/N. The best player in our group." Chenle sighed.
"What?" Jisung asked, confused.
"Nothing, Jisung. Let's just enjoy our night." Mark smiled.
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Haechan didn't want to be here. He didn't like parties and he hated being surrounded by drunk people. He felt suffocated in the sea of writhing bodies that were all trying to bump and grind against each other. The music was too loud and there was an almost unbearable smell of sweat in the air. The lights were low and the whole atmosphere seemed oppressive. There were strobing lights flashing on and off that only seemed to disorient people further.
"Why did I let you drag me to this place?" Haechan muttered as he looked around the club.
"Come on, dude. Live a little." Jeno smiled. "Drink some booze. Relax."
"I'd rather stay home and read." Haechan replied.
"Dude, you need to get laid. When was the last time you got some pussy?" Jeno asked as he nudged his friend in the arm.
"A few weeks ago, remember? At that frat party? The one where I got too drunk and had a one-night stand with someone." Haechan rolled his eyes.
Jeno pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, trying to recall the incident that Haechan spoke of. After a moment of silent thinking, Jeno looked at his friend. "Ah. Yeah, I remember. You were a mess that night."
"Yeah, thanks for that." Haechan muttered. "I can't believe you and the guys know her."
Haechan thought back to the night of that wild frat party. Jeno had dragged him along when Haechan tried to study at his apartment. They had arrived at the frat house and were immediately given red solo cups. They had joined the party, the sounds of hip-hop music pumping in the background. Jeno had chatted up the sorority girls and disappeared from Haechan's side. Haechan was left standing at the edge of the room, wondering what he was doing at the party.
He had gotten lost and had bumped into you. The alcohol in his system had loosened his lips and he told you the embarrassing story of how he was dragged to the party. You laughed at him and teased him a bit but soon, you began flirting with him. It didn't take long before the two of you had ended up back at your dorm room.
It was a drunken mistake. He remembered waking up with a pounding headache, a hangover that was more painful than anything he had experienced, and his clothes and underwear scattered on the floor. It had taken him a moment to realize that he was in your dorm, and another moment to remember why. The memories were blurred and faint but it didn't take a genius to realize that he had sex with you. And it had been a rough one judging by the bruises he found on his back.
"I can't believe you don't know her." Jeno laughed. "She's been friends with Mark and Hendery for a damn, long time before she met Jaemin, Yangyang, Renjun and me."
"And now she's friends with Chenle and Jisung?" Haechan wondered out loud.
"Yeah. She's cool, bro. You'll like her." Jeno winked.
"I doubt it." Haechan muttered. "She doesn't seem my type."
"How would you know? You didn't even know her name." Jeno cackled.
"Shut the fuck up." Haechan huffed. "It was one time."
"Come on. I'll introduce you." Jeno chuckled, walking off.
"Wait, no. Dude, come on." Haechan trailed after him.
"I won't tell the others that you two hooked up." Jeno laughed as he grabbed Haechan's wrist and dragged him over to the table where you and the guys were seated. "Yo, Y/N! Guys."
"Jenoooooo!" You called out. You were obviously tipsy and a little bit buzzed. 
Renjun tried to wrestle the bottle from you. "Give it up, Y/N. You're done."
"Oh, come on! Don't be such a party pooper!" You whined.
"Dude, stop hogging the bottle." Hendery muttered.
"Hey, Jeno. Hey Haechan." Mark greeted.
"Sup, Mark." Jeno fist bumped his friend.
"Hey." Haechan greeted, a little shyly.
"Glad you're out and about Haechan." Renjun smirked.
"Stop drinking." Mark sighed as he took the bottle from your hands.
"Noooooooo." You whined.
"Y/N, you're drunk." Mark stated, matter-of-factly.
"I'm fine. Just a little tipsy." You giggled.
"How much have you had to drink?" Jaemin asked, his tone stern and serious.
"I don't know. A lot." You confessed.
"Give me the fucking bottle." Jaemin said.
"Dude, you're cut off." Mark declared.
"That's what I told her." Renjun scoffed.
"Aww, you're no fun, Mark." You pouted.
"Yeah, yeah. I know." Mark muttered. He turned to look at Haechan. "Thanks for showing up. You haven't met Y/N yet, right?"
Haechan gives you a quick glance before turning away, and pretends not to know you. He avoids meeting your gaze because the incident from the night of the frat party made him feel embarrassed. It was a spur of the moment thing and he hated losing control.
"Ohhhhhhh, so this is the guy you were trying to drag out of hibernation." You hugged Jeno but then you furrowed your brows. You leaned in to look at Haechan. "Wait...have we met before?"
"Uh, I don't think so." Haechan stammered.
"Are you sure?" You narrowed your eyes.
"Yeah." Haechan said a little bit too quickly.
"Huh, weird. I swear I've seen your face before." You peered at the handsome face and then it dawned on you. Those eyes, those lips, the moles on his face and neck, the shape of his nose. It all clicked. Your eyes widened and the liquor-infused brain of yours recalled what happened that night. How he had felt inside you, how he had begged for your pussy, and how he had given you a world-changing orgasm. It all came back to you.
"Oh my god." You muttered.
"What?" Jeno asked.
"We've fucked." You said out loud.
"I'm sorry, what?" Haechan gawked at you, shocked.
"You're the guy that I hooked up with a few weeks ago." You said, realization dawning on you.
"Dude, Y/N, shut the fuck up." Mark muttered in disbelief.
"What the fuck?" Hendery gawked at his friends, confused. "You two hooked up?"
"How do you know it's Haechan?" Renjun asked.
"Like I would forget that beautiful constellation of moles." You muttered. "It's him. No doubt about it."
"Dude." Mark gave Haechan a look.
"Dude." Jaemin also gave Haechan a look.
"Dude." Hendery also gave Haechan a look.
"Dude." Chenle and Jisung gave Haechan a look.
"What?" Haechan asked.
"When the fuck were you gonna tell us you hooked up with a chick from our group?" Yangyang questioned.
"You guys were never supposed to find out about that." Haechan deadpanned.
"Well we know now and we're all very interested to hear the story." Yangyang grinned.
"Not gonna happen." Haechan retorted.
"Boo. So uncooperative." Yangyang pouted.
"Hey, I was drunk. I don't remember anything from that night." Haechan defended himself. "Besides, I've never met her before until today. She's not part of our group. So why should I have told you?"
"Bro." Jeno looked at him.
"Bro." Mark also looked at him.
"Bro." Hendery also looked at him.
"Bro." Yangyang and Jaemin also looked at him.
"Guys, shut up. I don't want to talk about it." Haechan muttered as he tried to walk away.
"Wait." You grabbed his wrist.
"What?" Haechan paused.
"Can we talk? Preferably far away from these idiots." You said, glaring at your friends.
"Hey!" Everyone objected.
Haechan sighed, not having much of a choice. "Um, ok."
You get up and Haechan follows. You drag him outside and head over to a bench. Sitting down, you looked at the random people milling around the club. The vibe was completely different from a couple of hours ago and you welcomed the change.
"So..." You begin.
"So..." Haechan mutters, looking everywhere but at you.
"I didn't mean to put you in an awful position like that." You said, looking down at your lap. "When I start drinking, I tend to lose control and I don't know how to filter what comes out of my mouth."
"It's fine. Really." Haechan shrugged. "It's not your fault. Besides, it was a one-time thing."
"Yeah." You nodded. "We were both drunk. We didn't know what we were doing."
"Mhm." Haechan hummed.
There was an awkward silence.
"Hey, look." You began. "I don't want this to be a weird situation. We both have a past and it was just a one-night stand. What happened, happened and we can't change that. We hang out in the same social circles and sure, this is the first time I've officially met you but that doesn't change the fact that I have a connection with you, in a way."
"I guess." Haechan shrugged.
"I'd like to be your friend. Would that be ok with you?" You asked, nervously.
"Yeah, sure." Haechan nodded.
"Cool." You smiled.
"Cool." Haechan said, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Hey, um, would you like to go somewhere else and just chill? I kind of don't want to go back in there and hear the guys talk shit." You laughed nervously.
"I don't blame you." Haechan lets out a small laugh. "They're a weird ass bunch."
"You can say that again." You chuckled.
"Where do you want to go?" Haechan asked.
"Let's go to a coffee shop. I need to sober up a little." You replied.
"Coffee sounds good." Haechan nodded.
"Great." You stand up and start walking away. "Let's go."
"Uh, ok." Haechan gets up and follows you.
You two walked side-by-side and talked about random things.
"I have to ask." You began. "How are you a friend of Jeno and the rest? I've been friends with Mark and Hendery since we were kids and we became close to Jeno, Jaemin, Yangyang, and Renjun through college. I know Chenle and Jisung because they're sophomores and they hang out with Renjun and Yangyang. But how the hell do you fit in all of this? You don't really seem like the partying type."
"I'm not. Jeno dragged me to the club." Haechan said. "And as for why I'm friends with the guys, we met through a gaming app and then we met in real life and we just hit it off."
"Wow. I would've never expected you to be the gaming type." You chuckled.
"I'm a nerd." Haechan shrugged.
"Well, I don't think that's a bad thing." You replied.
"It's not?" He asked, surprised.
"Nope. I think nerds are super cool. And it's good that you have a passion. Even if it's gaming. And, I'm not saying that gamers are losers or anything. That's just my personal opinion." You clarified.
"Thanks." Haechan gave you a small smile. "I appreciate that."
"Anytime." You grinned.
The two of you continued walking, enjoying each other's company. After a few minutes, you arrived at the coffee shop.
"This is the place." You said as you opened the door.
"Cool." Haechan followed you inside.
You ordered your drinks and then found a table near the window. You're really glad you found this shop. It's cozy and warm, the smell of coffee is inviting, and the interior is very comfy, reminding you of an old coffee house in an old tv show.
"This place is nice." Haechan said as he looked around.
"Yeah, it's one of my favorite places to hang out." You replied.
You both sipped your coffee and made small talk. Haechan couldn't help but look at you every now and then.
"What?" You asked, catching him staring.
"Sorry." Haechan blushed. "It's just that, um, you're really pretty."
"Really?" You raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah." Haechan muttered and took a sip of his drink. "Sorry, was that too forward?"
"No, no, not at all." You said, blushing a bit. "I'm just not used to hearing that."
"Really? I've been seeing people checking you out at the club." Haechan blurted out.
"They were probably drunk and not thinking straight." You waved it off.
"Maybe. Or maybe they just have good taste." Haechan smiled.
"Maybe." You smiled back.
Haechan let out a small smile. "You're different from what I expected."
"Different how?" You asked.
"I didn't think someone as outgoing as you would be interested in someone like me." Haechan said.
"What do you mean by that?" You tilted your head.
"I don't know, I just figured you'd be more into the popular crowd. You know, the athletes and the rich kids. Not the nerds and the losers." Haechan muttered.
"I used to be a nerd too, you know." You laughed. "Way before I started partying and dating and all that. Back in middle school and high school, I was the definition of a nerd. I had braces, glasses, wore sweaters, and kept my hair in braids."
"Really?" Haechan couldn't believe it.
"Yes. But once I got to college, I wanted to reinvent myself and try new things. And so I did. But just because I like partying and going to clubs and bars, it doesn't mean I can't still be a nerd and have my own nerdy interests." You took a sip of your coffee. "Sure, folks see me as that wild girl or the one who gets around. But they don't see the whole picture. And besides, I like to think that everyone has layers to them and it's just a matter of finding those layers."
"That's true." Haechan said. "I never thought of it that way."
"What about you? You're the type of guy that I never thought would be friends with the guys. Jeno is a party boy and the rest are just wild." You mused.
"I know." Haechan chuckled. "But when you have something in common with someone, you just click."
"True." You agreed.
"They're good people though. Even though I want to stay in and play video games all day, they managed to drag me out of my shell." Haechan says, smiling softly. "They make me feel included and that I belong somewhere. I appreciate that."
"That's good." You said, smiling. "So I know Jeno dragged you to the frat party and all, but did you have fun at least?"
"Yeah, I guess. The food was good." Haechan jokes, laughing lightly.
"The food was the best." You agreed.
"I'll admit, I wasn't a fan of the loud music and the crowds." He shrugged.
"That's understandable." You nodded. "It was a frat party. They're all the same."
"True." Haechan laughed. "I don't think I would've stayed long if it weren't for the food and the alcohol."
"You're a lightweight." You teased.
"I am not." Haechan pouted.
"Sure, sure." You laughed.
You and Haechan continue to chat for a bit and eventually, you two have finished your coffee.
"So, are you ready to go back?" You asked.
"If you are." Haechan said.
"Not really, to be honest." You chuckled, making the boy smile. "I kind of wanna stay here and just be away from the guys. And talk to a cute boy. Or am I being too forward?"
"Uh." Haechan was shocked and blushed a little.
"I guess that was a bit too much, huh?" You felt embarrassed. "Let's just go back."
"Wait." Haechan took your wrist.
"Huh?" You were surprised by the sudden action.
"I wouldn't mind talking to you longer." Haechan admitted.
"Really?" You asked.
"Yes." Haechan blushed again and turned away, muttering.
"Ok, then." You were laughing and Haechan couldn't help but stare. The way your eyes lit up when you laughed. It was mesmerizing.
"Come on." You stood up. "Let's go. We have all the time in the world to talk."
Haechan's lips tugged upwards and he stood up too. He walked with you outside. You kept on looking at Haechan and then suddenly stopped and paused, biting your lip. Haechan caught your action and his breath hitched.
"Are you ok?" Haechan's breath was haggard.
"Maybe we should go back to the club..." You suggested.
"Are you going to drink?" Haechan tilted his head.
"Hell no. I'm done drinking for tonight." You shook your head.
"Good." Haechan smirked. "Because I have an idea."
"Oh?" You raised an eyebrow.
"You said you're a nerd. And I happen to be a nerd as well. Why don't we hang out and play some games?" Haechan suggests.
"I'd like that." You grin.
"Cool." Haechan smiled. "Come on. My place isn't too far."
You made your way to his place, noticing the familiar signs and landmarks. This all looked too familiar, and not just because you're drunk. This is the path you've walked on countless times before. In fact, it led straight to your own home.
"Hey, I didn't know you live in this complex." You pointed out.
"Oh, yeah." Haechan scratched the back of his neck.
"I live here too." You grinned.
"No way." Haechan was surprised.
"Yes, way." You laughed. "I just moved here a few days ago."
"I had no idea." Haechan remarked.
"I guess fate works in mysterious ways." You shrugged.
"That's for sure." Haechan agreed.
The two of you continue walking, enjoying the night breeze.
"I'll admit, I was nervous when Jeno dragged me to the club earlier." Haechan said. "But I'm glad he did. I never would've gotten to know you otherwise."
"Same." You smiled.
The two of you made your way to the elevator. Once the doors closed, you couldn't help but take notice of how close you were standing to each other. Your shoulders were brushing and you could feel the heat radiating off his body.
"It's weird how we live in the same building and we didn't know each other." You mumbled.
"Well, now we do." Haechan gave you a shy smile.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. You blinked a few times and stared at the hallway that you knew quite well.
"This is my floor." You muttered.
"Yeah, this is my floor too." Haechan said. He pointed to his door. "I'm down that way."
"No way! We're neighbors." You said with a surprised face. "I'm right next to you!"
"Are you serious?" Haechan laughed and shook his head in disbelief.
"Yeah! Now we really have no excuse to not be friends." You said, nudging his side.
You and Haechan looked at each other, both trying to hide the smiles on your faces.
"No wonder I've been hearing noises in the apartment next to mine." Haechan muttered. "It was you."
"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I've been moving a lot of things in and there's a lot of noise." You rubbed the back of your neck.
"It's fine. I'm used to loud noises." Haechan says, waving off your apology.
"I promise I won't disturb you too much." You assure him.
"No, no. It's fine." Haechan said, a smile tugging on his lips. "I actually don't mind."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
You smiled.
"So...would you like to come in?" Haechan asked.
"Sure." You said.
You and Haechan walked towards his door. You waited as he unlocked it.
"Welcome to my humble abode." He said.
"Thanks." You said as you entered his apartment.
The first thing you noticed was that it was very clean and organized. The second thing you noticed was the massive television screen that covered the entire wall.
"Wow." You said. "This is awesome."
"Thanks." Haechan smiled.
"You have a really cool set up." You said as you took in all the details.
"It's all I have. My life revolves around gaming, after all." Haechan said.
"Ok, what are we gonna play?" You asked.
"Why don't you pick something out?" Haechan gestured to his bookshelf. "There's a bunch of games over there."
"Really?" You walked over.
"Yeah, sure. Anything you like." Haechan said as he removed his jacket.
You went to his bookshelf and checked out the various titles. There were a lot of game titles you've seen before and even more that were unfamiliar to you.
"Hmm, how about this one?" You said as you pulled a case from the shelf.
"Oh, that's a good one." Haechan smiled.
You spent the night playing games and having fun. At one point, you were both so immersed in the game that you forgot how late it was.
"Oh my god, it's three in the morning." You gasped.
"Oh, wow." Haechan looked at his watch. "Time flies when you're having fun."
"Yeah, it does." You nodded.
"Do you want to crash here?" Haechan offered.
"Sure." You nodded. "Too tired to go to my place even though it's next door."
"Alright." Haechan laughed. He stood and made his way to his bedroom and returned with blankets and a pillow. He put them on the couch. "You can have the bed."
"No, no. I'll take the couch." You said, feeling guilty about taking his bed.
"Nuh-uh, I'll be fine on the couch."
"Haechan." You stood up, planting your hands on your hips. "I can't let you sleep on the couch in your own apartment."
"Why not?" Haechan shrugged.
"Just- It's not right." You didn't know how to explain without sounding stupid.
"I'll be fine." Haechan reassured you.
"Are you sure?" You asked, worrying.
"Positive." Haechan said.
Without a fight, you didn't argue any further. He led you to the bedroom. It's simple and cozy. Nothing super fancy, but the furniture is modern and stylish. It also smells of him. That familiar musk and sweet scent, which oddly relaxes you. He has a queen-size bed, a couple of posters hung up on the wall, and a desk and a chair.
"So, goodnight." Haechan says before he turns off the lights. "Sleep well."
"Night." You smiled.
Haechan turned off the lights and went to sleep. You stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. You were so excited and happy to finally have met Haechan. You were also curious about him and couldn't wait to learn more.
As you slowly drifted off to sleep, you smiled, thinking about your new neighbor.
And how the two of you will be spending a lot of time together from now on.
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"So you ended up spending the night at his place?" Mark asked hours later as you met up with him and Hendery after your afternoon classes ended.
"Yeah." You nodded, unable to hide the exhaustion from your face.
"And you're saying you stayed up late playing games and not fucking?" Hendery asked, his eyebrows raised.
"We just played games." You shook your head.
"And nothing happened?" Mark tilted his head, questioning.
"Nothing." You shrugged.
"Damn, girl." Mark laughed. "Who are you and what happened to Y/N?"
"I don't know." You sighed.
"Did you like him?" Hendery asked as he opened his soda and chugged it down.
"Yes. But I'm not gonna do anything about it." You shrugged.
"Why not?" Mark asked.
"I'm not that kind of girl." You shrugged.
"You are." Mark and Hendery said in unison.
"Look, I'll admit that I have a reputation, but I'm not the kind of girl that goes for every guy she sees. And besides, Haechan and I had a really great time last night." You shrugged.
"Aww, look at our little Y/N being all mature and responsible." Mark said, pretending to cry.
"Shut up, Mark." You scoffed.
"You're growing up, Y/N." Hendery wiped away a fake tear.
"Just shut up. Both of you." You rolled your eyes, walking faster. Your friends just laughed and teased you even more.
Meanwhile, Haechan is spending the day trying not to think of you. But how can he when you're literally the only thing he's ever thought of?
Haechan knows it's stupid of him to believe you two were destined to meet. And yet, after one night of passion, the universe decided to play a trick on him and place you in the same building, mere inches away from each other.
Haechan didn't really expect anything the morning after, although he had a pretty nice time with you last night. But when he wakes up the morning after, the first thing he thinks of is how he wants to see you again, even though the two of you are not even dating and your one night of passion might be just that.
There's just something about you that draws him in and makes him want to be around you more. And the funny thing is, it wasn't just a physical attraction. No, Haechan wants to learn more about you. Wants to hear you talk about whatever you're passionate about. Even if that meant hearing you ramble on about something he barely understood or even didn't know.
However, being the shy nerd he is, Haechan has no idea how to act and what to say to you. He doesn't want to come off as needy or pushy, but at the same time, he wants to spend more time with you. He knows how you like it loud and wild and how much fun it is for you when people are around. But he's seen that side of you and you know the person behind those glasses. The real person who's a nerd, just like him.
He remembers the conversation you had with him the night before as clear as day. About you once being a nerd and how people didn't know about your gaming skills and interests. He can't help but find you more attractive when he's learning more about you. Your nerdy interests, the way you play video games, your humor. And he loved the fact that the two of you can bond over those things. It made him feel special, like it wasn't easy to come by. He's usually the first one to shy away from most people, but not with you.
A loud ring echoed through the air as Haechan snapped out of his thoughts and stared at his laptop.
"Sorry about that." Jeno quickly picks up his ringing phone, trying not to disturb his friends. "Hello?"
Haechan watches as Jeno walks away while on the phone. Jaemin, Renjun and Yangyang are too engrossed in their game, barely paying attention to him. Haechan decided that now was the best time for him to talk with them. "Guys, I need some advice."
"About what?" Renjun asks.
"Is it about Y/N?" Jaemin asks without missing a beat.
"What?" Haechan gasped. "How did you—"
"It's written all over your face." Jaemin deadpanned.
"Oh."
"Come on, just spit it out." Renjun nudged him. "Do you like Y/N? Because she has that effect on most of our male species, let alone on guys from other colleges."
"I mean...you guys like her, right?" Haechan hesitantly asked, his face heating up.
"Yeah. But it's not like we're gonna fuck or anything." Yangyang asked, clearly confused.
"She's a free spirit." Jaemin smirked. "She can do whatever and whoever she wants."
"I don't...look I just..." Haechan let out an exasperated breath.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just hear it." Jeno returned as soon as he hung up.
Haechan looks at each of his friend's faces, trying his best not to blush.
"Well," He says, fidgeting with his sleeves. "It's...it's just that Y/N is awesome." He stammers.
"No shit." Jeno chuckles.
"No, really!" Haechan exclaims. "And last night was so much fun with her."
"Did y'all fuck again? You were in such a good mood this morning, it wouldn't surprise me at all." Renjun says.
"No, we didn't!" Haechan shakes his head. "We spent the entire night playing games."
"Oh, I was about to tease you so hard, man." Renjun fake cries.
"Well, I liked hanging out with her and we played games all night, but there was nothing sexual or anything like that." Haechan said quietly.
"Oh." All of them speak in unison. They exchange confused glances and turn their attention back to the gamer before them.
"How can someone be that cute, man?" Haechan pouted.
The guys blinked.
"What?" Haechan furrows his brow.
"Haechan...you're okay, right? Like, mentally, are you okay? Physically?" Jaemin asked as he reached over to place his palm against the nerd's forehead. "Are you sick?"
"Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes, Jaemin, I'm fine. No, I'm not sick, thank you very much. No fever." Haechan slapped Jaemin's hand away.
"Seriously, man. We haven't seen you this cheerful and all smiles ever since...ever." Jeno furrowed his eyebrows at Haechan, confusion written all over his face.
"I have to make sure, dude. Because this isn't like you. You don't fall for people this easily. Especially after one night, mind you. And I've never seen you like this...ever." Jaemin shook his head at him.
"Come on." Renjun spoke for the first time. "Tell us everything and we can give you some feedback."
"Uh..."
"And be detailed." Jeno winks.
Haechan let out a long sigh before he explained everything that happened last night. How you both went to get coffee,  going back to his apartment, finding out that you were neighbors, playing and talking about video games, and crashing at his place. He even explained what happened this morning where the both of you said goodbye.
Once he finished explaining, his friends all stared at him in disbelief.
"Wow..." Jeno shook his head. "So, no sex, huh? Really?"
"Really. That's the first thing you ask?" Haechan asked incredulously. "Yes, really! For once, I wasn't the nerd that sat on his ass while playing games. For once, I had a good time! What, am I supposed to have sex every time I go out?"
"No, but—" Jeno starts.
"Listen. When Y/N and I were playing, I couldn't stop smiling. I had the time of my life with her and she made me feel great, and not because I got laid." Haechan looks at his hands and sighs. "What I'm trying to say is that I haven't felt that way in a long time. Just knowing that she's here, just an inch away and not at the club where there are a thousand other guys waiting for the same treatment. I couldn't have it any other way. Does that make sense?
Renjun smacks Jeno upside the head before anyone can respond to the question. "Dude, Haechan has a crush!"
"Ow. And finally. Took him long enough." Jeno grunted and rubbed the spot. "Now we can tease him even more."
Haechan blushed profusely. "I-I wouldn't call it a crush. Just because we had a good time. Like, yeah, she's hot, and a gamer and super chill, but—"
"Did you just call Y/N hot? Damn, you really are gone." Jaemin said.
Haechan slapped Jaemin's arm. "Shut up."
"But, like, have you ever considered that this could work?" Renjun asked.
"Have I...what?" Haechan started.
"Look." Yangyang says. "You guys fucked before. You guys are neighbors now. You guys clearly have the same interests. Kinda. And you are both available. Plus, you two seem to have this connection. So why not give it a shot?"
"Yeah." Jeno said as he took a sip of his coffee. "Besides, it'll keep you out of your bedroom."
"Or get you stuck inside a bedroom." Renjun snickered.
Haechan shoots him a death glare but doesn't say anything.
"What are you guys planning to do now? Just hang out? Play video games? Do the do?" Jaemin asked, smirking. "Just try to enjoy the rest of the semester and have fun with her. Who knows? It might even lead to more."
"Yeah." Renjun shrugged. "Besides, it doesn't hurt to get closer. You're both single. Might as well shoot your shot."
"Yeah, okay. Sounds fair." Haechan sighed. "Thanks for the advice, guys."
"Yo, that reminds me." Yangyang's face lights up as he opens his backpack and pulls out a pair of tickets. "Haechan, why don't you take Y/N to this?"
Haechan eyes the tickets suspiciously. "What is it?"
"It's a local convention. All these nerds are coming out. You know, for video games and comics and shit. If Y/N likes these things, then this is a perfect date." Yangyang smiles.
"I guess it's pretty interesting." Haechan picks up a ticket to examine the details. He tried not to smile at the thought of seeing you there. "Do you really think Y/N would enjoy going there?"
"Maybe, I don't know. What's stopping you from asking her though?" Yangyang asked as he raised his eyebrows.
Haechan looks down at the tickets and then to Yangyang's face, a slow smile spreads on his face. "Thanks, dude. You're right. It wouldn't hurt to invite her."
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You let your gaze wander as you glanced at the crowd and wondered when was the last time you attended something like this. A comic convention filled to the brim with cosplayers and hardcore geeks and nerds. Some fans even had merch with their favorite characters, while others just came for the sake of it and maybe even for a date or two.
You caught a few people from your college as they had fun and watched a panel on some show or another, while some of them are doing some sort of art, reading a book or checking out the games that are in store. There is even a special guests section in one corner. You shook your head in disbelief, thinking how lucky you were that Haechan even let you tag along, seeing that it was usually impossible for you to buy tickets these days, seeing that the queue to get these is always filled and you are lucky enough to even have the chance.
Your gaze moves from the crowds around you to the person standing next to you, or rather the person you are currently leaning onto. You see that his eyes are also roaming around the crowds and that the people next to him are chatting, not paying attention to you.
"See? Didn't I say that it would be awesome to have you here with me? So far, we haven't even had any awkward conversation and we aren't bored, like my friends were yesterday. It's totally worth getting out of my apartment." Haechan exclaimed, a huge grin on his face.
You couldn't help but smile and give him a side eye, glancing at his side profile. Haechan is kind of adorable, with his big, thick, round, black glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles and the dimples that are displayed every time he opens his mouth or when he speaks. It makes your heart skip a beat and butterflies erupt from the pit of your stomach. His pink, soft and full lips are also incredibly kissable and make him look very sweet and innocent.
"Totally, Haechan. We could stay here forever." You say with a laugh.
"You think?" His eyes sparkle with amusement.
"I know." You bump his shoulder playfully. "Maybe we should come here together the next time one of these comes by. What do you think?"
"Definitely." Haechan says eagerly, smiling widely.
"Cool. But since this is just the first time that we've come here together, what do you want to do now, Haechan? Go shopping or take pictures? Or maybe we can watch a couple of the shows in the main hall. I bet you are really looking forward to this." You ask while pointing to one of the posters in the convention area.
Haechan thought for a moment before replying, "To be honest, I would have loved to see some panels. But we can shop too. How about you? Are there any artists you are interested in?"
"Sure." You agreed, looking back at him with a smile on your face, "It's totally okay to want to go and have fun. As long as we don't get lost, let's shop for whatever. I'm cool with anything, Haechan."
"Alright," he agrees, letting you continue leading the way.
"Hmm...Should we go and see what this year has to offer?"
The two of you start walking around and look at all of the new books that have been published, including the special ones with artwork in them. Some of those are signed, which is a huge bonus to collectors or those who can afford it. After a while, the both of you decide on the comics that interest you the most and buy two copies of each to make it easier. You also pick up a few books for your respective shelves in your apartment, the ones that you are sure will be treasured.
You wandered to a booth that was selling some adult content and flipped through a few comics. You bit your bottom lip as you read a pretty steamy scene on the page that you flipped open and imagined you and Haechan doing the same positions as the characters on the page.
"Found a comic that caught your interest?" You look up to find a smiling Haechan standing next to you.
"What?" You raise one brow and look over at the comic before placing it back on the table and walking a short distance away. Haechan watches you walk away but grabs the same comic that you put back down and flips the pages. Once he lands on the page that caused you to bite your bottom lip, he understands why you put it back down.
He blushes deeply as his eyes scan the steamy artwork.
He shut the book closed. "Um...are you ready?" He calls out, holding the book tightly.
"I'm almost ready," you tell him as you approach him, placing a few comic books in your shopping basket, "I need to decide between the second one or the third one."
Haechan grabs the adult comic and tosses it in the basket without you noticing and leads you to the cashier to purchase it. You never noticed and you were never aware that it was in your basket. Haechan was so stealthy that he managed to pay for the whole basket before you even noticed.
After walking for a while, you needed to use the restroom and pulled Haechan with you. Luckily you found a restroom with no stalls and after pulling Haechan into the room, you locked the door behind the both of you. Once he realized that there were no stalls, he turned red with embarrassment.
"Did you drag me in here because of that adult comic?" He questioned, fidgeting his hands in front of him nervously, biting his lip.
"Maybe. I saw that you picked it up while I was grabbing my things. Thought you were sneaky, huh?" You smiled as you walked up to him and grabbed hold of his hand, pressing it against your stomach. "Haechan?" 
You looked into his brown eyes as you pushed his fingers down under the waistband of your skirt. He sucked in a breath.
"Do you...uh..want to try it out?" You asked while grabbing the belt loop on his jeans.
"Try it out..." he repeated slowly. "Like right now?"
"Well...I mean...we're here..."
He was silent for a minute before looking back up at you. "...yes" he nods.
You pushed him to sit on the closed toilet seat and drop to your knees in between his spread legs. You stare up at his innocent expression.
"Fuck, I can't believe we're doing this in a public restroom," Haechan said, watching you slowly unbuckle his pants. You smirked, knowing exactly what he was getting at.
"What? Are you shy?" You ask softly.
Haechan narrowed his eyes, and you unzipped his jeans, pulling them down, along with his boxers. Then you raised your eyes and gave his crotch a quick glance, noting the size, girth, shape, color. When he noticed the way you were admiring him, he tried to hide his reaction, but ended up covering his face with his left hand.
"Haechan...we've already done it." You point out.
"Not with the lights on and with both of us sober..." he muttered under his breath.
"Shh..." you cooed gently, reaching for his length and stroking gently.
"We could get caught," Haechan murmured, still peeking down at you from his hand.
"I locked the door, it's okay."
"I don't think..." he mumbled again as he began to squirm.
His penis was growing in your grip as it hardened. Haechan shuddered when your thumb rubbed along the tip.
"Still embarrassed?" You ask quietly, kissing the base of his penis. You hear him take a shaky breath as you kiss all along his length, feeling his thighs tense as he tries not to move too much. He's holding back. You liked that.
"Yes," he responds a little breathlessly, and you lick the slit at the top of his dick, "Oh fuck," he murmurs and you hear the sound of his head hitting the tile wall behind him. You take the head in your mouth and begin to suck, sliding down his length inch-by-inch until he's deep in the back of your throat. His hand slides around the back of your head. His breathing becomes irregular and he moans as you begin to bob up and down.
Haechan didn't moan, or whisper encouragement, or try to control your motions with his hand, like you've experienced with past sexual partners. He allowed you to set the pace and you sucked and licked at your own speed, while he made quiet moaning noises as if he was trying to stay quiet but couldn't help himself. That drove you to push yourself harder, try to make him lose control. You wanted him to cry out, to grab the back of your head and make you swallow his entire cock as he exploded down your throat. You were almost aching as you swallowed around his cock.
It wasn't until you moaned quietly with his penis filling up your mouth and his tip hitting the back of your throat that Haechan moaned louder and gripped onto the back of your head.
"Ugh, Y/N." He groaned your name, tightening his grip and making your head bounce a little faster than you were before.
"Don't stop, god, you're gonna make me..." his hips suddenly rocked up into your mouth as he held your head there and you felt his body tense and his cock began to throb as he came in the back of your throat.
Haechan held you there and released in several spurts, nearly hitting your gag reflex at the back of your throat, but not enough to cause it. When you felt his hold lessen and his penis beginning to soften, you finally swallowed his semen. Then, you let his penis slowly slide out from your mouth with an audible 'pop.'
Looking up at Haechan, his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes half lidded and staring into the space above your head, he looked blissful and happy. That caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach and the beginnings of arousal to settle in between your legs.
Pulling his boxers and his jeans up, Haechan sits up a bit and blinks and the world comes back into focus.
"That..." he said.
You grinned cheekily. "Good?"
Haechan leaned down and pecked you quickly before whispering, "Thank you."
Your heart skipped a beat at the sweetness of that action. He really is adorable, you thought.
"Let me return the favor in the car, okay?"
You could only nod, knowing your panties are already soaked and wanting to ride his cock already.
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A week after attending the convention, the two of you are hanging out in your apartment. You and Haechan are seated side by side and are currently gaming, sitting with each other in your living room. You are watching the TV screen and pressing the buttons on the console's gamepad, immersed in the game. On the television, you are fighting a boss battle against an over-sized monster. You and Haechan sit silently as the fight plays out, neither one of you daring to talk as the game has become quite intense. After a few more minutes pass, the big, final boss is defeated and you let out an exhale, throwing your controller beside you with an exasperated grunt.
"Fuck." You say, with a mixture of happiness and frustration. The game was fun, but frustrating. Haechan nods in agreement as he removes his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly.
"Wonder what Mark and the others are doing right now?" You asked.
Haechan opened his phone and scrolled through the list of messages. "Looks like they're headed to another frat party. Wanna join?"
"Nope. Early lecture tomorrow." You mutter. "And I was kind of hoping to spend some time with a cute nerd," You said and placed a small kiss on Haechan's nose.
"Good, cause I was really hoping to get to know that cute girl better." He whispers, smiling. You felt butterflies flutter in your stomach at his confession and your lips couldn't help but tug up into a grin.
You settled in to watch a film, Haechan had chosen some B rated comedy that you'd already seen ten times.
Halfway through the movie you felt his arm circle your shoulders and instinctively moved into his body, curling your legs up, wrapping your arms around his waist. His warmth and scent, instantly comforting, reminding you how safe you felt when wrapped up in his embrace. You hadn't realized, as your focus drifted onto how good it felt having him near you, how comfortable it was just to sit with him like this, that the feeling was returned in kind. His body relaxed a little, allowing him to settle deeper into the sofa cushions, while his thumb gently stroked against your shoulder, soothing both of you in equal measure.
Losing all awareness of the movie and your mind switching off from any task that might ordinarily pull at your focus, you simply enjoy the feeling of his warmth. At least you thought, you were both lost to the moment, as it wasn't long before his fingers brushed against your throat and up over your jaw to capture your chin. Gently, he tilts your head towards his, and you notice how his breath has quickened just the smallest amount. You can't help but feel the fluttering in your belly from that, as well as his warmth and the softness of his eyes in the darkened room.
There are only a couple of inches separating your lips. He slowly closes the gap, waiting for you to pull away. When you don't and instead lean into the softest kiss imaginable, he hums softly into your mouth. It's slow, teasing and almost lazy. A total opposite from the eager, impassioned lust of your first encounter together. His tongue explores the corners of your lips and across your teeth while he nips, sucks and nibbles lightly at your full lower lip. He tastes of mint toothpaste, his breath, and something sweet and earthy. It sends your senses into overdrive. Your fingers comb gently into the soft strands at the back of his neck. You need this, you've never wanted anyone quite as much as you want him right now.
It's so unfair really; that no one could make you this hot by simply brushing his lips over yours and then along the edge of your ear. His tongue tracing across your sensitive skin just behind your earlobe. That a single kiss to your throat was all it took to have you gasping, tingling all over and so turned on. And yet, you wouldn't change a thing.
“Can I taste you?" He whispered hoarsely, in a deep husk and you couldn't hold back a shiver of anticipation. "Every inch of you?"
How could you say no? And more importantly why would you. You nod with a tiny gasp and are rewarded with another light brush of his lips to yours. 
Oh, god. You couldn't stop now even if your life depended on it. And maybe it did. You felt so desperately out of control, as his tongue played lazily with yours, his lips suckling and nibbling on yours until you could do nothing but melt into him.
“Haechan…” Your breath hitched, barely able to speak, your mind swirling and intoxicated. “Do you want to spend the night? There's no reason for you to go back to your apartment. We could, um...keep this going, if you want..."
“Okay..." Haechan said softly as you stood up and pulled him towards your bedroom. The bed was a mess as you pushed him down on his back.
Haechan reaches down to pull his t-shirt off, and you straddle his legs, fumbling to undo his zipper as quickly as possible. In no time, you were both fully nude. Your lips and tongue meet Haechan as you roll over. He was straddled over your hips and was staring down at your naked body, licking his lips slowly.
"You're beautiful." Haechan breathed softly, tracing his fingertips delicately over your neck, collar bones, and shoulders. Goosebumps appeared in the wake of his touch and you closed your eyes and whimpered a little, tipping your chin up.
He captured your lips softly and slowly in a hot kiss that quickly turned fierce.
He moves to kiss the side of your face, and down to the base of your earlobes. Slowly his hot breath trails lower, over your chest and stomach and even lower. When his head settled between your legs and your breathing picked up, and you got up onto your elbows to look at him. Haechan made eye contact, looking so sweet, cute, and totally irresistible as he was positioned down between your legs.
A few seconds of heavy breathing and you decided you wanted his face against you, immediately. So you fisted one hand in his hair and tugged, getting his attention. Haechan quickly learned how to give the most incredible tongue kisses; just slow enough to tease you and enough pressure that it made your back arch. He kept at it with alternating soft and firm licks; swirls of the tongue that alternated with broad flat-tongue swipes along your wet pussy.
Haechan paused, breath hot and mouth still so close.
"Does it feel good, when I lick you like that, baby? Let me hear it, too. I've been dying to taste your perfect pussy and make it gush," Haechan spoke gently.
"God, where'd you learn to talk like that??" You gasp.
"In your books." Haechan pointed towards the pile of adult comics on your dresser.
You swallow. "Well keep going, because it's really fucking working."
"Tell me what to do next," Haechan said and sucked hard, while rubbing slow circles over your clit with one finger.
"Fuck me with your tongue," You breathe, and Haechan happily complies. You're absolutely soaking as Haechan makes good use of his hands as he flattens his tongue over your clit, then flutters his tongue against it. When his fingers dive inside you, your grip tightens and you tug his hair.
"Yeah. Haechan...keep touching me. Just like that," You tell him, a little breathlessly. You try to keep eye contact as you rock into the movements of his hand. When his fingers curve to find that spot inside you, your breath catches in your throat and you can't help it as your eyelids flutter closed for a moment. Haechan responds by latching his lips around your swollen, throbbing clit and suckling a few times.
That action combined with the internal pressure of his fingers pushes you over the edge. Your hips thrust wildly against his mouth and a strangled sort of whine leaves you, followed by gasps, groans, and mewls of pleasure.
When Haechan's hands finally fall from your thighs and he looks up at your flushed face, he chuckles softly. Haechan crawls over you, and presses his face in your hair, placing soft kisses down to your shoulder. "Good girl," he purred.
"Haechan," You said breathlessly as he lifted his head up, grinning. He moved down the bed slightly, positioning his throbbing dick between your wet folds. The sensation had your spine arching, your inner walls contracting around the emptiness, desperately searching for the fullness of him inside you.
You gasped as Haechan moved forward and eased himself inside you, stretching and filling you until you felt that intoxicating fullness. You stared up at his features and he blinked slowly, keeping his gaze steady on you, watching and gauging your reaction. You chewed on your lower lip and clutched at his biceps, nails digging into flesh and dragging down his arms.
"Move," You whimpered. His soft chuckle caused an excited chill to run up your spine and a sweet moan to leave your lips.
Haechan leaned down to kiss the side of your neck as his hips moved with his thrusts, his penis burying itself inside you with short, swift strokes.
The friction was heavenly. Each time the tip of his length touched against the end of your slick pussy, and withdrew again, he caused more ripples of pleasure to shiver across the surface of your skin. You shivered against the sheets below you, your eyelashes fluttering, his name leaving your lips in soft cries.
You opened your legs wider and wrapped them around his waist to let his length push into you more easily. You raised your hips off the bed, grinding yourself up against him. This elicited a groan from him, and your thighs clenched around him more tightly. The tips of your breasts rubbed against his chest and tickled. It felt so, so good...
"Haechan...please..." Your moans continued as his hands gripped at your thighs, spreading them further apart as he slowly increased the speed of his thrusts. "Don't stop, baby...fuck..."
His breathing grew rougher and shorter. Your fingernails scratched down his sweat-slick chest. Every time he sank his cock deep inside you, you could feel his tip kissing up against a pleasurable spot and it caused sparks to explode inside you. You were panting, crying out. Haechan could feel your hips lifting off of the bed to match his every thrust as his grunts and moans grew deeper and more lustful. You were so incredibly close, and by the look of his handsome, strained face, he wasn't far from finishing either.
"Fuck. Yes, Y/N...that's it. Say my name," Haechan uttered, his gaze now burning right into yours, and his body shaking a little. "Don't fucking stop saying it...I wanna hear your sexy voice telling me how good it feels when I fuck you."
The pulsing between your legs intensified and before you knew it, the familiar shudders rushed up your torso and shook every part of your body. "Yes, Haechan, right there, fuck. You feel so good. Don't stop! Don't stop!"
You felt his hips start to lose their rhythm. You closed your eyes and drew a deep breath.
"Oh god, baby, Haechan...just like that," You spurred him on, clinging to his shoulders. He gave a few particularly fast, desperate thrusts before groaning and pulsing inside you. That feeling sent you over the edge and you called his name, nails raking down his back and fingers gripping the sheets so tightly you swore your knuckles were turning white. 
Haechan kept rocking slowly inside you and he brought his palm up to the center of your stomach and circled his fingertips over the surface, rubbing down into your lower abdomen. You shuddered pleasurably at the contact.
"Don't take it out, stay," You told him quietly, eyes sliding closed, and you breathed out heavily through your nostrils. He murmured incoherently and continued massaging your lower belly while keeping himself buried deeply inside you. 
After a short time, Haechan pulled out slowly, leaving his warm semen to slowly drip out of you.
He made his way up to you and brought you close, draping his arm over you to keep you by his side. "Hmmm, you're so pretty...But let me ask you something."
"What?" You yawned and shifted over to rest your head on his chest, nuzzling into his warmth.
"Can we keep doing this? Like regularly?" Haechan asked and combed a hand through your hair.
You sit up and open an eyelid. "As in...?"
"You...me..." Haechan waggled his fingers. "And us having sex, together."
You laughed softly. "Seriously Haechan?"
He gives an innocent look. "It's not the worst idea, is it? We have a great chemistry, obviously."
You turned on your stomach and faced him, smiling. You brushed some of his sweaty hair off of his forehead. "I love chemistry."
Haechan smiles back and shifts closer, pressing your noses together. "So...?"
Your response came out a soft whisper. "Yeah."
"So, you're basically gonna be my fuck buddy?" Haechan tilts his head, raising an eyebrow.
You roll your eyes. "How about your girlfriend? Hmm?"
"I'll take that option." He smirks and grabs you for a kiss. "So...shower first or sleep first?"
"Shower and then sleep sounds nice..." You trailed off and rested your hands over his around your chest.
He gave you a squeeze and a nudge to your rear to get you moving. With a grumble you threw off the sheets and followed him, making your way to the bathroom for the first of many wonderful nights together.
671 notes · View notes
littlegrapejuice · 4 months ago
Text
Saved his life | LS2
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Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader
Summary: You come to check on Logan after qualifying at the Dutch GP, hoping to lift his spirits.
Author's Note: ok so this literally came to me in a dream😭 logan's replacement was announced on tuesday (still crying about it btw) and istg i woke up wednesday morning after having lived this plot during my sleep
F1 MASTERLIST🏎
You had been seeking him out after FP3, and were once again seeking him out after qualifying. Logan was nowhere to be found and you worried about the state he mentally was in since his crash. The backlash from his team as well as journalists had blown out of proportion, for they were all focusing on the damages suffered by the car before considering the health of the driver.
Similar to you, Logan's fans were doing their best to support him and wondered about how he was doing. You had seen many comments online about people complaining that neither Williams - as in James Vowles - nor commentators had expressed an interest in the well-being of the driver, only talking about ruining a newly upgraded car - which would be proven illegal later on.
Scouring the paddock, you were now going from garage to garage looking for Logan. Obviously, you had first gone to the Williams one but without any success in finding the American. You hadn't even known at first if he was actually at the track, but a quick shot of him on the TV screen had confirmed you that he was indeed in his garage.
This is why as soon as qualifying ended, you had waited for George to come back to the Mercedes garage so that you could notify him that you were leaving for the time being. You had plans together later tonight, meaning that he didn't mind you doing whatever you wanted until then.
And that's thus how you were still walking around the paddock, praying that it wouldn't take much longer to find Logan.
As you then thought you had seen him from afar, someone obviously had to come up to you and stop you in your tracks. You turned around at the tap on your shoulder and was met with a blonde driver, but not quite the one you would've rather faced.
"Hi Max," you said with a smile.
"Hey, you alright?" He asked both because he was genuinely interested in your answer and because he couldn't help but notice you frantically looking around.
"Yeah, I'm good! Congrats on P2, that's great at your home race." You gave a last glance to the side and decided to temporarily abort your mission as you had unfortunately lost sight of who you thought had been Logan.
"Thanks, I wish I could've gotten pole but I'll get the first place from turn one so that's alright."
"I'll be internally rooting for you, but you know I'll have to stick to my roots and publicly support my team."
"Of course," Max replied. "The Red Bull garage is always open if you ever feel like changing your mind. We also probably have better food than Mercedes." He let out a smile at your laugh before scratching his throat, as if he was thinking about his next words. "Listen, I-"
"Sorry Max," you apologised as you checked your watch and got afraid you would miss logan leaving the track. "I'd love to talk more with you but I was on the way to do something important so please make it quick."
"Yeah, hmm... did you have the chance to visit the city and its surroundings? I was thinking that..." Max hesitated before he saw you nodding at him, silently telling him to continue. "We could grab a drink or some food later on, and I can show you around? Seeing as this is my home country, I'm pretty familiar with it so I could give you a proper tour and you'd see things that you would never see with a regular tour guide and-"
"Sounds lovely yeah!" You felt pretty bad for interrupting him once again, but the clock was really ticking and you were getting more nervous. "I already have something planned for tonight though, so maybe another day?"
"Well, there's only tomorrow left then. After the race?" He suggested with hope in his tone.
"I'll get back to you on that. Depending on who's winning, I might be celebrating someone else you know."
"Of course, but I'm pretty confident that I can score another victory here."
"Great, then that's settled! Super cool to chat with you Max, I'll see you later." You waved at him and quickly started walking again to the direction you had last seen Logan several minutes ago.
You were gone so fast that you hadn't even heard Max telling you that he would text you his request again, as he had sensed that your focus had been on all but your exchange with him. You liked Max to be honest; he was a really sweet guy and could easily match your energy as a fellow yapper. However, he had chosen the worst moment to strike up a conversation with you. Thinking about how you could repay it to him next time you'd see him - probably tomorrow, all your stress was going away as you finally found the person you were looking for.
You stopped close enough to him that he would notice you, but a few metres away so that you had time to catch your breath without it being too obvious that you had been almost running around for him.
As he called out your name, you couldn't help the smile that lit up your face.
"You're good?"
"I am now, thanks. Been searching for you, you know? You're quite hard to find," you told him in complete honesty with a light laugh.
"Really?" Logan was surprised by your words. He hadn't expected anyone to come talk to him today, except for his teammate Alex or a couple drivers texting him for a check up.
"Yeah," you nodded. "I couldn't see you after practice earlier and I thought talking to you face to face was better than a text so yes, I was looking for you."
If you and Logan weren't surrounded by hundreds of people, he would definitely shed a tear at your kindness - not like anyone was actually paying attention to the both of you as you were on the side of the path. He didn't think a headline consisting of F1 Driver Logan Sargeant seen crying while talking with F1 Driver George Russel's long-time friend was a good idea though.
"And you wanted to talk to me about something important?" He wondered.
"That's what I said", you replied. "I wanted to talk to you, about you, I guess."
"That's not super-"
"It is," you immediately interrupted him before he could finish his sentence. You knew what he was about to say and you were definitely not letting him give voice to his thoughts. Seeing as he was still taken aback by your words, you kept going. "You're important, Logan. More than a random chassis, or an engine, or whatever they put in the shit car that they make you drive."
Hearing your own sentence, you were about to apologise for the strong opinion - Logan was driving said car so you didn't know if you were right to comment on it - but the chuckle that came from the American stopped you from doing so. It didn't last long as Logan quickly covered his mouth, thus shutting down the sound, but you suddenly wished you could hear it again.
And not because you're trash talking his team, but because you're, let's say, watching a movie together and a funny scene comes up; or because you're walking around a park and he laughs at your clumsiness when you almost trip on a random rock.
You just wished, right now, that you weren't at the track, in this paddock, with all those cars and people around. You just wanted to be with him, in a quiet place where you could just enjoy each other's presence without having to worry about a team principal that didn't take his driver's needs into account or about journalists that couldn't seem to see the human aspect of a driver behind the suit and helmet.
Your thoughts were however soon interrupted when a hand appeared in front of your face.
"Hello? Earth to whatever planet you're on?" Logan had a smile on his face. He wasn't laughing anymore but he didn't seem annoyed either at your silence. "Did you get lost in your mind?"
"Possibly", you answered with a nervous laugh. "Sorry, won't happen again."
"It's fine, don't worry."
You could see Logan was genuine in his eyes. The way they were being lit up by the sun suddenly made you wonder about what was hidden behind it. They often say that eyes are the mirror of the soul; but for now, you could only see yourself in Logan's.
"Hey Logan," you said after a few seconds of silence. He glanced down at you, which you took as a sign to continue. "Do you wanna hang out with me tonight? I- hmm I have this dinner with George, Lando, Alex, and their girls. And it could be nice of you to join. I mean, if you want to of course, and if you don't have anything planned already but yeah, that'd be cool. I'd like that."
When Logan didn't reply, you started to think that it was over and that your stress was so obvious, and that he wasn't going to accept the offer. But then:
"I'd love to." Your gaze was now filled with hope, until the next words left Logan's mouth. "But I think I need to be alone tonight. It's absolutely not against you or the others, but today hasn't been the best day for me as you obviously know and even though it could lighten up my mood, I'd rather focus on tomorrow's race."
"Oh, hmm... okay, yeah... I totally get it, no problem."
Logan was not dumb; he noticed your immediate change of attitude as you lowered your gaze, so he decided to add on to his explanation:
"It's just a raincheck, you know? I'm not going out tonight, but I'd absolutely be down for another day if we both find the time. Sounds good?"
"Yeah!" You nodded with a smile. "Raincheck, okay, got it."
"Sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go for now." Logan gave you a smile before checking his phone. "I'll get back to you for a hang out, but thanks for taking the time to talk with me. I truly appreciate it."
"It's normal, we're friends so... I wasn't really thinking twice about it."
"Then thank you for that as well. We'll see each other later, right?"
"Of course," you confirmed. "Race's tomorrow so at least then, goodbye for now Logan."
"Bye, take care."
He gave you a quick hug before departing, and next thing you knew, he was gone. You then turned around, ready to exit the paddock and go back to your hotel, so that you could get ready for your dinner tonight with your friends.
.....
"George, hey!" You called out to him as you saw him from afar. "Thanks for waiting, sorry I'm a little late."
"No problem," he replied. "I sent Alex and the girls inside to keep us a table. We're just missing Lando, but I think he'll be here soon."
As if on cue, you had received a text. Thinking it was from the curly haired man, you opened it in front of George before reading the sender and the content of the message.
Hi! Regarding our conversation from earlier, I decided to formally ask if you wanted to grab dinner with me tomorrow night after the race?
A smile unknowingly took place on your face, and George couldn't help but notice it.
"What's got you all happy?" He asked before adding a comment. "You're even blushing so I guess this is not Lando."
"It's no one," you said as you immediately locked your phone before George could look at the screen. "Just a friend I'm supposed to catch up with tomorrow."
"You have friends other than us in the Netherlands right now?" A familiar voice questioned from behind you.
"Lando!" George exclaimed as the last of your group was finally here. "Hey mate. Congrats on pole. Good quali you did there."
"Thanks man." Lando glanced at you while the three of you started walking inside the hotel, towards the restaurant. "So what's this about a friend of yours?"
"Drop it Lando," you replied, annoyed - although you could truly never be annoyed with him. "I'll tell you all about it when it's over if you still wanna know after the weekend."
"Of course I will! I'll even bring that up in the groupchat so you'll have to tell this wonderful and absolutely not suspicious story to everyone," Lando laughed as he nudged your side.
Thankfully, neither George nor Lando had brought up the topic with the others, even though they were still curious on what you were hiding. You were glad that they didn't because how could you even explain to them that you would be going out to dinner with a fellow driver? You honestly didn't think they would mind, but you also didn't want them to go and bother said driver when you knew that the paddock's walls had ears everywhere.
Hoping that it would be fine to reply to the text later, you had therefore waited until you were back in your hotel room to agree to the offer. Tonight's dinner had been amazing and you were always happy to spend time with your friends whom you didn't see much, but tomorrow's would be something even more special as it would actually be your first time hanging out one on one with the driver you were maybe fancying.
Before forgetting, you also decided to notify your friends of your plans - omitting the driver aspect of the 'friend' you would be seeing after the race - so that they wouldn't be surprised to not see you attend any celebration. Of course you would try and spend some time with the winner if he was part of your friend group, but at least you were in the clear to not go party all night with them.
.....
And you had never once regretted not attending the party that had celebrated Lando's win at the Dutch Grand Prix. He had told you that day after the race that you would have a myriad of other chances to attend another one as he was planning on winning more and more often - which he did.
Tonight's party, however, would be in your honour. As well as Logan's. And you couldn't see yourself anywhere else than here, in front of him. You truly didn't think you would one day end up in this situation, and neither did he. Logan hadn't really expected to experience such an event in his life, but he eventually did, all thanks to you.
You had saved his life. That day, when you reached out to him after qualifying, was unknowingly a turning point in his life. He had been at his lowest. He had known what would certainly happen following the Grand Prix; he had been expecting to be let go after the disastrous performances he was giving.
Knowing didn't make it less painful though.
He did get dropped by his team, Williams, which you cursed for as long as you could and still did from time to time. And even if Logan had achieved being a Formula One driver - which no one could ever take away from him, he had still felt like he was worthless after it happened.
He hadn't known how to process the sudden end of his short time on the grid and felt lost for a while, wondering about what would define him as a person now that the dream he'd had since he was a child was over.
But you had made him believe that it wasn't the end of the world and that something else was waiting for him. He could've ended it all, but you showed him a glimmer of hope and he chose to keep going, see what else was in store for him. He still had a future. And he had been right to trust you, as he was now here, facing you and about to be making you his. Only two words left to say before doing so.
'Thank you', he mouthed to you before the long-awaited sentence was to be heard out loud. "I do", he then confirmed without tearing his gaze away from your face.
..........
Okayyyy so this it lol
Hope y'all liked it🫶🏻 this was my 1st time ever writing for a driver since i got into motorsports and I feel really happy w it!! Thanks to my brain for making me dream ab logan, i think it kinda helps me cope regarding him not being the grid anymore (i miss him sm chat)
Idk when I'll write again for a driver if i ever do so, but don't hesitate to give feedback on this so that ik how to approach a future work🤍
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justporo · 1 year ago
Text
Point Break
Being with Astarion is - almost - perfect. And it is so easy to fall for him and into his arms. But the least thing you can try and do is offering to turn the tides. (NSFW)
MASTERLIST | AO3
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Author's Note: Here we are yet again with something that was supposed to be like... well, not almost 2k words. But here we are. Also this is yet another instance where I inflate the smut with emotions. There are just so many... feelings to be had!
Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) Warnings: smut Wordcount: 1,9k
Astarion was on top of you, inside of you. Your skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and the air was filled with nothing but your mutual moans and gasps and Astarion’s haughtily whispered sweet little nothings. You were staring up at him, almost unable to take your eyes off him, his perfect body and face. Your eyes and your mind would always find their way back to them, to him.
That’s how it had been ever since the vampire had invited you that one night to that clearing in the forest. Continually, you had met up in the nights, talked some, started kissing, gotten naked - and then you had lost yourself in his arms, under his touches repeatedly.
It was so easy and so good, you nearly didn't have to think about it - almost completely perfect.
Now, he had your hands pinned to the ground next to your head, his hips rolling and thrusting into you at an even pace, slowly making you descend further into the depth of your own lust and seemingly unending pleasure. He’d been your reliant guide in this from the very first moment on. With him you had spiralled down while he'd shown you truths about yourself you hadn't ever dreamt of. And this far you had always come back up again, luckily.
You held his heated gaze that sent slow shivers of blazing hot fever over and through you. Only when the pleasure became almost too much to bear you let your head fall back and your eyes roll into your skull - focusing solely on the sensation of being with Astarion. It filled every corner of your mind.
No one could ever compare to him. Every fantasy or expectation you might have had in your life was outdone by a margin. He was consummate in any kind of way imaginable: face and body looking like they were lovingly crafted by the most generous of gods, his touches and kisses each masterfully executed, second to none. He had exactly figured out what made you lose your mind, arch your back in heedless pleasure time and again. What made you moan and scream his name as if it was the last breath you were able to take and your only wish was to use it to utter his name a final time.
It was so easy to return to this - intoxicating, addicting. How could you resist?
And so you came whenever he called - no questions asked.
And yet it had slowly changed, it was more than what could be seen at a single glance. Not merely quickly disappearing ripples on an otherwise calm water surface. Things were stirring in the depths and would come up for a break at some point, you were sure of it.
Even when you weren’t with Astarion now, thoughts about him kept turning around in your mind. It had become more intense, the height your heart jumped whenever he smirked at you becoming ever higher. He was slowly invading your heart and soul, along with the body he had already laid claim upon.
But still there were these moments, when it felt off. Something lurking just at the edge of your sight, something not quite right. Because there were these bits and pieces he slowly let fall from his armour, showing some of the pain and the fear beneath. Sometimes he couldn’t hold your gaze, even though insisting elaborately that he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in those moments. But you slowly recognised that as the lie it was.
It made your chest clench and ache, filling it with the wish of freeing Astarion from whatever it was that had forced him to raise up those thick castle walls all around him.
The vampire kept moving, crushing his hips into yours and you felt him hit deep inside of you. Your hands were clenching his as you were all ready to let him push you off the edge again - and again and again and again.
You could just keep going like this. Let him lure you back to him, time and again. But then - where would this lead?
You could take what it was he had to offer without ever questioning what it cost. But was this really what you wanted?
Your heart already knew the answer.
“Astarion”, you gasped near breathless. With lips parted, taking heavy breaths, you looked at him pleadingly. You softly wiggled your fingers, asking him to free your hands from his grasp.
Immediately he stopped moving.
His chest was heaving, he was buried deep inside of you. He held you, body and mind.
His mask had dropped.
Gone was the master seducer, the dark, promising gaze, the sultry demeanour. Left in its place was sudden worry and fear.
Astarion’s eyebrows were raised in question, red eyes round in the silvery moonlight casting your bodies and faces in pale, cold light. He looked so young all of a sudden.
The vampire slowly let go of your hands and lifted himself up and further away from you. Your bodies were still impossibly close but yet it felt like there were leagues between you in this moment, even when that hadn’t been your intention at all.
He swallowed heavily but he didn’t dare speak. Just in these short moments you saw how panic almost overtook him. So you moved quickly - to get your point across and break the unbearable tension.
You cupped his face softly in your hands and nudged him until at least a fraction of his tension eased and he leaned towards you. Your fingers wandered lightly over his face, over his cheekbones, his brows as you leaned your head to one side, admiring him fully, in awe of him.
His eyes were still on yours, unsure of what was about to happen.
And then you closed the distance and kissed him, hoping to convey what you might never be able to put into words. Your lips covering his with feather-light touches, merely asking, suggesting.
You kissed him slowly and lovingly, allowing him to decide if that was what he wanted or not. And when he softly answered your kiss, carefully and still hesitantly taking you up on the offer, a small gasp left your open lips. Your hands slowly but decidedly wandered further: one tangling in his luscious curls, the other softly caressing one of his pointy ears.
And Astarion answered you with a moan, wandering from his mouth to yours. Different from the others, the ones you were used to: surprised, but pleasantly. You let him deepen the kiss then.
Arching your back when need rolled over you again, you tried to close the gap between your bodies. Desperate to feel every inch of his skin on yours with no space in between. And also offering up what he might take if only he wanted to. Meanwhile you were still acutely aware of how he felt inside of you as you kept dancing on the edge.
He groaned in response and was leaning back into you now, lowering himself on one of his elbows while his free hand came to touch your face while he lowered his body almost fully onto you.
The feeling of him accepting, embracing sent a new rush through you.
You clenched your core around him, giving more. You wanted to give him everything - he needed only to reach out and take it.
This was about much more than just physical pleasure now. You desperately needed him to know that he may take from you whatever he desired. That you wanted him to indulge in you, to be the one falling for once - if that was what he wanted. The need to fully embrace him and never let go of him again burned in your chest and your whole body. You’d offer up all of yourself if that was what it took.
He was melting into your touch while his body seemed consumed by a different kind of tension now. He seemed willing and eager now to take his chances and grasp what fell into his hands.
His fingers grabbed your hair, gently pulling on the strands curled around his fingers. Meanwhile the kiss never broke. It became more heated by the second.The air was filled with your gasps and moans again - but it had changed. Waves were rising up from the depths.
And then he started to move once more.
Withdrawing from you achingly slow at first and then thrusting into you again. Rolling his hips and slamming them into you so hard, just once, made your eyes roll back almost fully into your skull. You moaned, nearly whimpered into his wide open mouth.
“What are you doing?”, he asked quickly and almost completely out of breath, only tearing his mouth from yours because he had to know.
His hips slowly kept moving though. His body already knowing what he had agreed upon while his mind was still catching up.
“Offering you everything”, you replied weakly while you let one of your hands wander down his back. Feeling the gruesome ridges there, but not lingering, dragging your fingertips over his skin, hoping to just leave trails of heat on his skin - hot and pleasant, not cruel, only painful to the point of pleasure. You lifted your legs, pressing one against his side to hold him even closer. And with the other letting your foot softly wander over the back of his calf. Both your thighs squeezing deliciously around his slender hips.
A shiver ran through him and a curt gasp left his throat.
But there wasn’t fear in his gaze anymore. His eyes were ablaze. And in a way you hadn’t seen before in him.
“Letting you pick”, you then continued while he thrust into you again and your body bowed to him, still willing to give more.
His hips kept moving, starting a much rougher and less steady rhythm - in fact his whole body was now trying to get more purchase, knees and feet burying into the ground.
Maybe you’d never see and feel him like this again. But if you could offer him this moment in time, you would happily do it.
“Take only what you want, leave the rest”, you finished and then had to let your head loll back as far as Astarion’s fingers in your hair allowed when the next of his movements brought you to the very edge of sanity.
This wasn’t the clean performance anymore the night had started with. It wasn’t perfect and immaculately exercised, trained a thousand times. But perfect wasn’t what was needed right now. It needed to be real and open.
It didn’t take either of you long before you were both finally swept away. Only a few more thrusts and your fingers sneakily wandering between your bodies while Astarion was now trailing open-mouthed kisses down your neck and chest, and you were both taken away by waves way bigger than either of you had anticipated. Pledges were made under both your heavy breaths. Hands clawed at skin and into hair, desperately trying to get closer yet. To hold onto each other while you got dragged onto the open sea.
And it was raw, rough around the edges, and deep, much deeper than you had imagined. And maybe it was unsure, unfamiliar; maybe even terrifying.
But it wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t wrong at all.
Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess
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sebscore · 2 years ago
Note
if you feel comfortable doing so, how do you think the grid would react if gzd was going through a rough patch and she’s being like really quiet and in her head?
i’m kinda slipping back into this era and i just need the grids comfort
THIS IS ALL I NEVER WANTED
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pairing: lando norris x driver!reader / daniel ricciardo x driver!reader / sebastian vettel x driver!reader / lewis hamilton x sebastian vettel
warnings: reader feels defeated and is ready to give up. swearing. mention of sexism.
author’s note: the comfort fic is finally hear, lmao :) sorry that it took me this long, got caught up with gentle hit, but it’s here now !!
masterlist
• • • • • • •
''That's the car of Y/L that goes into the gravel- another DNF for the young driver.'' Crofty commented as he watched her retire from the fight for the third consecutive race. 
Meanwhile in the car, Y/N's radio was bombarded by her engineer. ''We're so sorry, Y/N. A podium was possible, but we'll keep pushing harder for next time. We'll debrief.'' Marco apologised, frustration and guilt audible in his voice. 
''Understood.'' The indifferent tone came as a surprise to the team and viewers, but it was understandable as the driver hadn't been able to finish a race in over a month. 
The ride back to the paddock was humiliating to say the least. The pitiful looks from fans, the judging eyes of critics and the loud whispers didn't do much to brighten the dark cloud that was her mind. 
Her post-race interviews also weren't a great help to her already declining confidence. 
''It's the third consecutive DNF for you- how are you managing to stay positive and to not lose hope in the car?'' Nathalie asked her, sounding compassionate. 
Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Nothing is positive at all,'' she sarcastically chuckled, ''I think I'm doing everything right and then it all goes wrong for some reason.'' 
''I'm working hard with the team, but it doesn't seem like it's paying off at the moment. I'm just very disappointed and I- yeah, well, I hate the car.'' 
The reporter in front of her wasn't used to the visible pessimism of the female driver. Y/N was known for her cheerful and up-beat character, always open for a chat and ready to take on any challenge. That figure seemed to be missing at the moment. 
''I hope it gets better for you, Y/N. You're an amazing driver and I wish you good luck for the next race weekend, thank you so much for talking to us.'' Nathalie rounds up the interview before signalling to her cameraman to stop the filming. 
Y/N was about to leave, but a gentle grab of her wrist stopped her. ''Hey, darling- don't let this get you down, alright? There are many people rooting for you here, me included, and we all want to see you do well. You have incredible talent and we know these lasts results aren't a reflection of that.'' 
The Sky Sports presenter had a soft spot for the young woman ever since her arrival to the paddock. Nathalie has always been amazed by Y/N's ability to shrug off all the sexist remarks and to prove the people that doubt her wrong. 
''Thanks, I appreciate it.'' The soft smile on Y/N's face was a fake one, even a child could spot that. However, her words and gratefulness were genuine and that's all that mattered to Nathalie. 
The driver moved quickly between the different journalists, not in the mood for the long and lovely chats that would have happened had she crossed the chequered flag. ''If one more person reminds me of all the DNF's, I'm going to knock myself out with one of these microphones.'' She mumbled to her team's press officer, making the woman laugh but also look at Y/N with a bit of concern. 
Luckily for her, all the media responsible people must have listened to her prayers and went easy on her- maybe sensing her agitation and worsened mood. She and her press officer moved back to the team's hospitality, where a dreaded team briefing would take place. 
''Obviously these aren't the results that we want. We want wins, podiums and points.'' Her team principal started off the meeting, standing at the head of the table. ''It is clear that changes need to be made, whether that be the car, the strategy or the driver even.'' The eyes of the team shifted from their leader to the young woman staring daggers at him. 
''It's not my fault that the fucking engine blows up or that another drivers decides he wants to play bumper cars.'' Y/N defended herself, not seeing why she should be replaced. 
He shook his head. ''I didn't say it was your fault, but we have to look at all the options and that includes you, Y/N.'' The man clarified, taking a deep breath. 
The woman rolled her eyes, causing Marco to send her a stern look that said ''Please, don't make this harder on yourself.'' She got his sign and sat up straight in her chair, figuring her slumping didn't give off a great impression. 
The briefing continued for another hour, going over all the alternatives they had and all the work they had to do while waiting for the next race weekend. ''Alright- thank you, everyone! Have a great break.'' The team principal dismissed the team. 
Y/N was the first one to get up and leave, debating if she would slam the door, but she didn't want a Kevin x Guenther moment with her boss. 
By the time she was on her way to her hotel, most fans had gone home themselves and the paddock was occupied by crew members cleaning the place up. Y/N had a slow pace while walking, not in any hurry to leave the circuit. 
''You're going back to the hotel?'' A voice behind her spoke up, making the female driver yelp as she didn't expect someone to walk up on her. 
Y/N turned around, Lando looking at her with a grin. ''Did I scare you?'' He laughed, finding amusement in making his friend flinch. 
''You could have been a serial killer for all I know, you idiot.'' She slapped his arm, the tension leaving her body as it was only Lando and not some creep. 
''Only on track.'' He winked. 
The young woman frowned at his action. ''Please, never do that again.'' Her feigned disgust with his wink resulted in a light push from her friend. 
''So… you're going to the hotel now?'' Lando asked her again, not having received an answer yet. 
Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, I could use some sleep before the flight tomorrow.'' 
''You, uh, wanna take a car together to the hotel? You know- that way we're not wasting gas, I guess.'' He nervously asked, mumbling the question almost under his breath. 
''Sure,'' Y/N chuckled, ''Seb will be proud of us.'' 
They decided to take his car as she wasn't in the mood to drive anymore and Lando didn't seem to mind. She was grateful for Lando's company, at least her bad day would end on a good note. 
''Sorry about the race today, I know you could have done more.'' Despite being competitors, they were also great friends and it's not fun seeing your friends have bad results. 
Y/N sighed. ''My team- they're, uh, thinking about replacing me.'' She wanted to get her worries off of her chest and Lando bringing up the race seemed like the perfect oppurtunity for it. 
''What?'' He exclaimed, not anticipating that sentence to come out of her mouth. 
''They say they just have to think about all the changes they could make to get better results, but they've been talking an awful lot about the junior drivers so I'm just preparing myself for it.'' She clarified for him, resting her head against the window. 
Lando let her words sink in. ''They- they can't possibly do that, you're one of the best drivers on the grid.'' It came out louder than he intended, but the thought of one of his best friends not being with him on track anymore upsets him. 
''They can do that,'' she sarcastically chuckled, ''I'm impressed I lasted this long- I just know the FIA will be throwing a party now that they don't have to be feminists anymore.'' 
''What do you mean 'lasted'? You're not going anywhere, we have enough races left where you can show your true skills.'' Lando took his eyes off the road to look her in the eye, perhaps wanting her to see how serious he was. 
Y/N shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to talk about it any further. 
The car stopped in front of a red light. ''Hey,'' Lando put his hand on top of hers, ''I'm being serious. We've been racing against each other for over 10 years now- you're a good driver. You'll probably be a World Champion one day.'' 
''You really mean that?'' Her usual confident demeanour had been traded in for an insecure one, her voice coming out smaller than normal. 
He chuckled, nodding his head. ''Of course, I wouldn't lie to you.'' The gentle way he was looking at her assured her that he was in fact being serious and meant everything he said. 
''Thank you,'' Y/N turned her hand and squeezed Lando's, ''now, shut up and drive me to the hotel!'' She pushed his hand away. ''Enough of this emo shit.'' 
''This is the one time I am being nice to you and you just reject my love.'' 
''Stop being so emotional, Norris.'' 
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''There she is!'' Daniel loudly announced as Y/N stepped onto the plane, his hands up in the air. 
She tiredly waved at everyone, exhausted from the lack of sleep she had gotten. The young woman groggily sat down next to her Australian colleague, Michael sitting in front of them. 
Daniel snickered at her disoriented state. ''Good morning to you, mate.'' He greeted her, his infamous bright smile on his face. 
''It's fucking early, what are you so happy about?'' She mumbled, while trying to find a good sleeping position. 
''I'm grateful that I get to live another beautiful day, Y/N! We don't appreciate our existence enough, we need to-''
''I'll be grateful for my life when you shut up and let me sleep.'' She interrupted him, closing her eyes and pulling her hat slightly over her face. 
The McLaren driver opted for another teasing comment, but he could see the obvious exhaustion she had going on and let her be, a light pat on the shoulder working as his way to say ''have a good nap''. 
About an hour later the turbulence of the plane woke her up from her much needed sleep. Y/N took her hat off and noticed Daniel still awake, scrolling on his phone while listening to music through his headphones. 
A soft push against his arm brought his attention from his device to the woman next to him, immediately smiling upon seeing that she's awake. ''Sleepyhead.'' 
The beam on his face slowly changed into a nervous frown, worrying his friend. ''What is it? The reality of life finally settled in?'' Y/N awkwardly said, trying to cheer him up. 
''No, uh, it's just that uhm interview you did with Nathalie yesterday- I watched it.'' He answered, sympathy written all over his face. 
''Oh,'' she sat up straight in her seat, ''well, you know it was just after the race so obviously I was very frustrated. You know how it is.'' The driver tried to come off as nonchalant, failing horribly. 
''Lando told me, Y/N.'' Daniel revealed, wanting her to drop the 'it's not a big deal'-act. 
She sighed. ''Oh, that little snake.'' She muttered under her breath. 
''No, I'm glad that he told me. He said he's never seen you so defeated and the way you were talking to Nathalie- you haven't given up, have you?'' Daniel had seen how her recent race results had affected her, but he wasn't aware how deep her frustrations and insecurities had settled in. 
Her silence to his question was an answer in itself. 
''You've been working your ass off since you were like what? 5-6? You're not gonna throw all of that away just because of 3 bad races, right? That's nothing like you.'' The Australian ranted, baffled over her ruined confidence. 
Y/N glanced outside her window, seeing they were high above the clouds. ''I'm not throwing anything away, it's just… my teams seems to have already made up their mind and are just waiting on the right time to tell me that someone else is taking my place.'' The young woman clarified, her words not helping Daniel's growing worries. 
''They would be fucking idiots to replace you, you know that.'' He sneered, rolling his eyes at the thought of another person driving in her seat. 
She weakly chuckled at his response, not finding much humour in the insult to her bosses. 
Daniel's shoulder gently pushed against hers. ''Hey, maybe you need to talk to Seb or Lewis, they're better at this pep-talk shit than I am.'' He suggested, figuring the two older men might have more of an influence on her. 
Y/N let his words process for a few seconds, considering seeking a listening ear in either of the world champions. ''I- I don't know, Dan. They probably have better things to do.'' 
''Like what?'' 
''I don't fucking know- planting trees, feeding Roscoe, whatever.'' She blurted out, making both of them laugh at the random activities they could be doing. 
''Just think about it, I think you'd feel a lot better after talking to one of them.'' Daniel didn't want to push her, knowing it would have the opposite effect on what he wanted for her. 
A tired smile made its way onto her face. ''I will, thank you.'' 
''Good,'' his face mirrored hers, ''and if they do replace you, they're just like Netflix.'' 
''Like Netflix?'' 
''A bunch of cunts.'' 
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''I've never seen her that quiet.'' Sebastian mumbled to the Brit next to him, observing the young woman who sat slumped over in her chair. 
Lewis looked over at her, being as equally bewildered as his German colleague. ''I don't blame her, all the stuff they've been saying about her is awful.'' He whispered back. 
''What do you mean?'' Sebastian frowned. 
The Mercedes driver uncomfortably shifted in his head, leaning more towards his friend. ''People have been saying a lot of shit on social media and those fucking annoying journalists certainly don't help. Also, that interview their team principal did.'' 
Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mention. ''Hanna showed me, that was so out of line. He knows people have been wanting her out since the day she got in- shame on him for making all of that so public.'' 
Her team principal had given a quite lengthy interview over the break between the race weekends, publicising the team's problems and their possible solutions, which included a hint to a potential driver change-up. 
''None of the DNF's were even her fault, it's absolutely ridiculous.'' The slander on her name greatly upset Lewis, aware of the talent she possessed and it made him angry that there was even a chance that she might not be on the grid with them the next year. 
''I know and it has taken such a toll on her, Daniel said he talked to her, but I'm a little worried.'' The Aston Martin driver told Lewis, his puzzled look turning into one of sadness. 
The Brit scratched his voice. ''Maybe you can give her some confidence? You've known her for a long time, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.'' 
Sebastian slowly nodded his head, figuring the World Champion might be right. ''Yeah, I'll talk to her later.'' He confirmed, still watching the obvious daydreaming woman from across the room. 
The driver's briefing went on for about half an hour more, the director seeing the visible boredom on every person's face and calling it a day for everyone. 
Y/N couldn't have been more relieved that the meeting was finally over, wanting nothing more than going back to her own hospitality and figuring out ways to make the car work, and actually finish this time around. 
She was one of the last people to leave the briefing room, only George, Lewis and Sebastian walking behind her. The latter tapping her shoulder. ''Hey, haven't talked to you today.'' 
''Yeah, lots of briefings with the team, you know.'' The younger one responded, giving him a quick glance. 
''How's that going?'' 
The woman remained silent for a few moments, considering how much she should tell her mentor about the current state of her place in the team. ''Uhm, well, it's going… decent, I guess.'' Y/N muttered, trailing off. 
''Decent?'' Sebastian repeated, as if asking ''are you serious?'' 
''There are like a bunch of reporters around us, what do you want me to say?'' She replied, a defensive tone to her voice. 
The German patted her back, sensing her agitation. ''It's okay, let's discuss somewhere private.'' He calmed her down, suggesting a different place to have a conversation. 
''Okay.'' 
They opted for her personal driver's home, that being the closest space where they could talk with just the two of them. Some of her team's staff had given the Aston Martin driver some weird looks while they walked through the hospitality, but he brushed them off. 
The pair sat down on her small couch once they arrived, not much space between them. 
Y/N felt some nerves settling in her stomach as she waited for Seb to start speaking, not knowing what he was going to tell her. 
''I'm just gonna be straightforward,'' he started off, ''you can't continue with this attitude, cause you're only setting yourself up. You are a great driver, Y/N. We all have our off weeks, we're not perfect.'' 
''I understand that this isn't a nice situation to be in. Trust me, this green vegetable that I'm driving isn't doing much better at the moment,'' he chuckled, making her crack a smile, ''but if there's one person that can completely turn their season around, it's you.'' 
Y/N avoided eye-contact with him, not sure how to respond to his kind and encouraging words. ''I appreciate that, Seb. I'm not giving up, it's just… very difficult and people are constantly bringing it up, and making articles and shit- that doesn't help me at all. I'm still gonna do my best, but… yeah- it's just difficult.'' 
''I know it's hard and I've heard the media has been hard on you. That's what they do and they see you as an easier target for clicks and whatnot,'' Sebastian rolled his eyes at his own mention of the media, ''But you're better than believing their words.'' 
''You are a talented driver, you have so much potential. Do you think I would have spent all these years with you if I thought you shouldn't be in F1?'' He asked her, a look on his face that told her he wanted an answer. 
The young woman timidly shook her head. ''No, you wouldn't have done that.'' 
Sebastian smiled at her response. ''See?'' He put his arm around her, pulling her closer into him. ''Whether you believe it or not, you're leading this new generation. You're a decent car away from being a World Champion, you know that right?'' 
''Did you talk to Lando? He also said that.'' Y/N nervously grinned. 
''Just accept the truth!'' The German squeezed her shoulders. ''You've proven that you can do anything. You don't want to let down all those young girls that started karting because of you, right? What message would it send to all of them that their role model quit, because she got bumped off the road or her car simply decided to turn itself off.'' 
''You're right,'' she sighed, admitting to herself she needed to drop the pessimistic attitude, ''I don't just owe it to myself, but also to them.'' 
Sebastian nodded along to her words, letting out a deep breath. ''I'm relieved you're seeing it, I don't like seeing you like this. It's weird not seeing you smile or making fun of the drivers.'' He smirked, patting her shoulder. 
''I guess everyone deserved an off-day, tomorrow I'll start again.'' Y/N grinned, laughing at Sebastian's reminder of her fondness to poke fun at their colleagues. 
The senior driver gave her one last squeeze and stood up from the couch, adjusting his pants. ''No more frowns, alright? You're gonna do great this weekend and you're gonna show everyone why you deserve your seat.'' 
Y/N nodded, more confident than when she first walked back into her driver's room. ''Yes, I'm gonna do my best, Seb.'' 
They bumped their fists as if to solidify it was going to be a great race weekend for them both. 
''And go easy on me tomorrow with the teasing.'' 
''I'd rather be run off the track again then let that happen.''
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moonchildxoxx · 1 year ago
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Fated Encounter
Author’s note : hey guy it’s been a hot minute life’s been hell lately but here’s a little something until I have another prompt done which please send them in I’ve lost my whole inbox except 2 requests
When So’lek arrived to the resistance main camp he was told that someone from the Omatikaya clan had come to speak to get more information and they were outside in one of the caves waiting for him. When he arrived to the cave the female had a fire going cutting some fruit . Without looking up she spoke “ you are the one leading the resistance on the western frontier?” Spoke the female
“Yes , how did you find our location?”So'lek asked. “The Aranahe pointed me in the right direction “she answered. She offered him some of the fruit she was cutting. He leaned back in his seat and picked at the fruit she had given him as he considered her answer. “ we wish to work with your group out tactics are working but it would be better if we worked together “ It made sense why she was here then.
"How long are you staying?" He asked, getting more and more curious about her purpose being here . “ a few days at least to go over what we have been doing and what are your groups plans So'lek nodded again. This answer didn't completely satisfy him, but he decided against pressing her further for the time being.
”This fruit was very good, thank you." He picked out another piece of fruit and bit into it. She finally looked up at him but did not answer him He could tell she was still watching him. "What are you looking at?" he said with his mouth full of fruit.
"You look familiar, " she spoke softly.
So'lek raised an eyebrow as he swallowed the fruit. "How so?" He didn't quite believe her. How could he look familiar to her?
Maybe she has seen another Na'vi like him. He waited for her answer, his eyes focused on her.
“The first attack of retaliation against the sky people’s mining” she spoke
So'lek's face completely changed. A new level of seriousness overcame him as he remembered the event she was talking about. "You were there?" He said, trying not to raise his voice.
The thought that someone he knew could still be alive after all this time never even crossed his mind. But he didn't want to get his hopes up. She might be referring to someone else.
"Y/N?" So'lek repeated the name with a solemn expression on his face. He looked at her with a hard stare, waiting for her to continue.
She removed paint off her face revealing the scar that went from the middle of her forehead to the tip of her left ear.So'lek looked shocked as her face was slowly revealed. It could not be.
"Y/N?" Is that you?" he said, still stunned. He sat up a bit straighter as he tried to get a better look at her face.
He hadn't seen her in years, so he didn't immediately recognize her.His voice was shaky as he spoke. What if it wasn't her and he was imagining things? That mark was just like her's, but he hadn't seen that mark in a long time.
Their eyes locked as she processed what she was seeing. He looked just the way she remembered. It couldn't be a coincidence. She had to make sure before getting her hopes up.
"Say the word you used to say to me when we were kids." She asked her voice barely above a whisper So'lek was stunned. He was not expecting her to recognize him so quickly. Her eyes were now tearing up as she looked at him.
He wasn't expecting her to ask him that though. He cleared his throat. "hi'i txe’lan." He whispered back to her. The name he has always used with her. He couldn't believe it either. All this time and she has returned. It was all he hoped for for so long. "It is you." He said after a moment.
After he spoke she let out a small gasp. He watched her expression shift as she confirmed that it was him. She couldn't hold in her emotions any longer as tears begin to fall. He had to wipe away his own tears as he looked at her.
"It's really you," she said as the tears continued to flow. "I lost hope that I would ever see you again," she continued, her voice choked. "But you are here." So'lek looked at her in amazement as tears freely fell down her cheeks. He too started to tear up again at her words. He had thought her lost for so long.
He slowly moved closer to her. The feeling of having her near was overwhelming in the best of ways. "Y/N it is really you." He embraced her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close, taking in her familiar scent. "I've missed you." He whispered in her ear before pulling away. He looked at her, trying to see the same friend that he had a childhood with. All the time they had played together. When their world had still been peaceful.
"I've missed you so much " she spoke lowly she raised her hand gently caressing his cheek
He looked down at her as she caressed his cheek with her soft hand. So'lek's eyes were locked on to every feature of her face, taking in every detail of her appearance again after so many seasons. He took a step closer, slowly pulling her hand towards his mouth so that he could kiss it. "After so many moons without seeing you." So'lek paused. He had so many things to tell her. He leaned in to whisper in her ear.
"I can't believe you remember that name ." He said softly after kissing her hand once again.
"I'd never forget oeyä tstew txe'lan" she replied
He gave a light chuckle as he heard her say those words again. She was remembering their childhood. "You remember it?" He said with a smile. He looked back at her and took her hand in his. So'lek thought back to the days when they would get lost in the tall bushes of their forest.
Where they would run around and play. Where the rest of the world didn't matter because it was just them against the world. "I never thought I would see you again." He said to her. "Not after those years."
"I stayed with the Omatikaya after I heard no word from you, their Olo'eyktan offered me a chance to join them, so I took it" He listened intently when she started speaking about her time with the Omatikaya clan and how she came to be here. "I tried to find our clan after the battle." So'lek said. He looked away as he recalled the painful memories. The images of the battle replayed in his mind. The death of his friends and family constantly flashed on his mind when he least expected it. "It's been too many moons without you." He said.
I’m sorry So’lek but I need to return meet with the rest of my group but I will come back okay?" She spoke. So'lek was surprised to hear that she was headed back so soon. He had so many things he wanted to talk to her about.
He nodded at her, "It's okay...when will I see you again?" he said, still a bit confused.
"Please remember to come back."So'lek held onto her hand, not letting go. "I've missed you."
"I will come back" she promised
So'lek looked a bit sad as she talked about needing to leave again. He wondered why she was already heading back to her clan. But So'lek reluctantly backed away and let go of her hand after she gathered the horse's reins. "Then I will see you soon." He said to her while staring at her softly. He looked away for a moment. Her visit had been a pleasant surprise, yet so quickly she was about to leave. He only wished he could have seen her for longer than just a day.
"Take care of yourself." He said to her. She had just returned and was already taking off again, just like how they lost each other all those seasons ago.She mounted her ikran and flew off.
Later that night she returned her belongings strapped to her ikran. So'lek was sitting outside his shelter when she had returned in the late night. He was looking at the stars when he noticed the sound of her ikran. He rose to his feet and approached her as she landed her ikran on the ground. "Y/N!" He called as he ran up to her. The sight of her was such a welcome sight at night. She had only spent a day with him, but seeing her was as good as gold. "I didn't think I would see you again so soon. What brings you back?" So'lek said with a big smile. "you did not really think I was going to leave you after being apart for so long now did you?" He chuckled as he looked at her. He was still surprised to see her again. He could hardly believe it. "Did you accomplish what you needed to?" So'lek asked, wondering about her trip.
"Yes and I also thanked them for accepting into the clan but it was time for me to find a new adventure "
So'lek nodded. "A new adventure you say?." So'lek was intrigued by this. "And what adventure would that be?" He slowly raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. "Ma Solek being with You, did you really I would leave your side once I found you again oeyä tstew txe'lan ?" So'lek looked touched by her question.
The old familiar nickname that she always called him during his childhood. It was like he was a kid again hearing the nickname and her gentle smile.
He looked back at her and gave a faint smile. He was glad that she remembered and gave him a nickname again. "Ma Y/N. I didn't, and I don't want you to go. I want to be by your side, to be with you again in every season," so'lek said to her. "Good, now how about you tell me how you ended up with the all the way out here?".
He cleared his throat before continuing. "After all these moons of searching and not finding you or our clan, I settled down on the edge of the Aranahe land ." He took a deep breath.
He hesitated to tell her what had happened. "Then...one day this group came up to me . They were searching for more Na’vi to help the western frontier resistance. And I had no one else to turn to." So'lek explained.
"You felt a need for revenge and joined the resistance " she finished for him
So'lek froze in place at the mention of revenge. That word was like a dagger to his heart. It was painful to admit it aloud to her. But he couldn't deny it when she guessed it right. He slowly turned away and looked at the ground, ashamed to admit what happened next. All the time his heart was hardened and his soul taken over by the anger within him. "Yes, revenge is all I lived for at one time." He said without looking at her. It was a hard truth to admit aloud. He didn't want to tell her this.
She pressed their foreheads together. So'lek felt her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and sighed slightly. He looked back and returned the gesture to touch their foreheads together. Their bond was stronger than he could have imagined.
He looked back at her and smiled.
"Ma'Y/N." he said quietly. He had never been this close to her in their childhood. He was grateful for this moment now. So'lek just wanted to cherish the feeling of knowing she was next to him again. “ I am here “ she spoke gently
So'lek nodded to her words. He had her by his side again, the same feeling he felt during their childhood. They didn't need to talk about the past right now, He continued to smile as they were close to one another. They could continue to spend time together. So'lek looked down at her again. It felt like a dream. This moment being back with her. She chuckled softly just happy she had found him again So'lek looked back at her again. Seeing her laugh made him smile again.
He gently caressed the side of her face with his knuckles and pulled her closer to him slowly.
He wanted to hug her for all the seasons he lost without her. He wanted to feel her close to him again. So'lek just wanted to forget about the past and look at her. His long-lost friend, now so close to him again.
A few nights later So'lek and Saren were inside his shelter after it rained. He was cooking some dinner for him and Saren. The smell of food filled the room. They both sat in front of the fire that So'lek lit up on the side of the room. It was a cozy moment, them both sitting down on a rug in front of the fire.So'lek was smiling and looked over at her. This could be their chance to talk about what happened during their time apart. As She helped him prepare the meal she gently hummed a song from their clan one he had not herd another voice singing in almost two decades. So'lek was sitting on one knee as he cooked the ingredients. He listened intently to Y/N humming. His ears picked up every single note. He looked over at her again before slowly walking over to her. So'lek listened to her humming. It felt like he was at the gathering of hunters and hearing his people again. He continued to listen until she stopped humming. So'lek took a seat next to her and just listened to the sounds of them both breathing. "Ma'Y/N," he said while staring at her.
“What is it is my heart" she answered softly. So'lek held her hand and looked her directly in the eyes. He wanted to say so much, but he didn't where to begin. "Y/N...!..." He hesitated before speaking but knew that he had to. He couldn't keep it all inside of him anymore. So'lek then spoke the words he had kept inside of him for so long. The words that he didn't speak so many seasons ago. "I love you." He said quietly, looking away for a second as he spoke from his heart.
She moved to his side gently putting her hand against his cheek making him look at her " ... you love me ?" She whispered softly Solek nodded and looked at her again. His heart started to race a bit, but he knew it was right to say this to her. "Yes, Y/N...I have been in love with you for so many seasons." He said, softly touching her face. "I'm sorry I didn't say this to you sooner." So'lek couldn't hold back his feelings anymore. After all these years, he no longer feared what would happen if he told her. He knew that he wanted her by his side forever.
She learned forward kissing him her hand never breaking contact with him So'lek was surprised to feel Y/N's lips against his. It was not what he was expecting, but he welcomed the feeling of her touch. The sound of their breathing mixed together in a pleasant way that he had never heard before. He pulled her closer to him, allowing their chests to touch as their lips continued to meet. So'lek gently put his hands around her waist, wrapping them around her in an embrace.
Her presence against him felt natural and So'lek wanted to keep it that way. She pulled away once out of breath resting her head against his " I love you too ma So'lek " So'lek took a deep breath once their lips separated. He stared into her eyes and watched her, the flames of the fire making her face glow. He had wanted to tell her for so long, but he feared what she would say in return. But now he knew that she felt the same way after all these moons. So'lek wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him again. He brought his face closer to her and nuzzled her neck gently. "I love you." He whispered again to her softly.She caressed him, So'lek felt Y/N’s touch and he enjoyed the feeling.
He brought his face closer to her neck and started to kiss her neck. The warmth and softness of her skin caused a soft smile. She caressed him So'lek felt Y/N's touch and he enjoyed the feeling. He brought his face closer to her neck and started to kiss her neck. The warmth and softness of her skin caused a soft smile. So'lek kept his eyes closed as he slowly continued to kiss her neck. He enjoyed the feeling of her on his side. He felt so happy knowing that she loved him back. So'lek continued to kiss Y/N's neck as he held her close to him. He brought his lips lower on her neck, leaving small pecks on her skin. His hands caressed her body, running up and down her body. He pulled himself slightly back so that his eyes met hers. "Kiss me Ma'Y/N ." She smiled moving closer to him kissing along his neck and his throat So'lek felt her lips kissing along his neck. It was almost ticklish yet felt nice at the same time. He enjoyed the feeling of her touch. His body trembled slightly at the feeling of her lips against his skin. She had made him feel different that night.
So'lek put a hand on her face and looked into her eyes. He wanted to appreciate this moment with her forever. The fire burned softly next to them, and he could feel the heat of the flames.
He pulled her even closer to him. wanting more of her touch. "Tell me what you want ma Yawntu
" She murmured.
So'lek looked at her briefly, feeling a little bit of a blush on his face. He chuckled softly and looked her in the eyes.
He smiled to her words and was silent for a moment. He thought it was best to tell her how he felt that night. "I want you Y/N..." he whispered softly while gently touching her chin.
His heart raced at the thought of her knowing what he wanted exactly. He had enjoyed spending every season with her next to him.
She was his first and only love.
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© Moonchildxoxx 2023 | all rights reserved. do not republish, repost, steal, modify, translate or claim my work as your own.
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milliesfishes · 7 days ago
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౨ৎ꣑ৎSnowflakes and Sand Dollars౨ৎ꣑ৎ
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౨ৎ꣑ৎ12 Days of Christmas Masterlist౨ৎ꣑ৎ [fem reader] contains: fluff :) pairing: fem reader x finnick odair summary: waking up with finnick to find snow on the beach author’s note: cute lil fluffy thing with finnick :) Spotify Playlist
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Arriving home, Finnick had collapsed into bed with you last night. He hadn't said too much, only a few words about the train ride and a few more about how much he loved you. You hadn't expected much more, having been through this routine many times before. Instead, you dwelled on how grateful you were that he was home. He was finally home.
It had been entirely unexpected. You'd gotten a letter from him just last week saying that he would miss you and he loved you and he had something coming for you that would make it in time for Christmas. Needless to say, when he'd arrived at your doorstep, tired but happy, you'd nearly leapt out of your skin.
Now, as you laid next to him in bed, you took a moment to just look at him. It was a routine you fulfilled every time, just in case something had changed. Tracing the lines of his face with your eyes, you tried to decipher any differences. Was that a new freckle? A furrow in his brow? Did worry now seep into his unconsciousness?
Finnick opened his eyes when you touched his face, smiling softly as you touched his dimple. He watched you for a moment, the love in his eyes radiating out and covering you tenderly. When you touched his chin, he kissed your hand, sliding his arm around your waist and pulling you to lie on top of him.
You giggled, leaning forward to kiss his nose. He stroked your waist, eyes dreamy as he looked up at you. "Hi baby."
"Hi," you giggled, almost unable to believe he was there. All the long nights spent pretending his empty spot wasn't, the hours watching the window and wishing he'd appear within the frame. And now he was here, giving you kisses and cuddling you close as if he'd never left.
"You smell good," he murmured, burying his nose in your neck. You smiled, cuddling into his chest and inhaling. Finnick always smelled like cedar and the faintest hint of salt spray, even after he'd returned from the Capitol. It was like the sea ran through his veins, and you were glad for it. Somehow it was his life source, as present as the heart beating against his ribs. Although, he'd given it to you a thousand times, so perhaps the ocean was more constant.
Lifting your head, you casually turned your head to look out the window, gasping when you saw fat white flakes fluttering down to meet the sand. "Finnick!"
He shot up, bringing you with him. "What? What is it?"
You could feel his quickly beating heart, and it made you feel bad for startling him so. Rubbing his chest, you murmured "Oh, nothing. It's just the snow."
"Snow?" Now he was watching the white pile up along the fence. "It's not-?"
"You brought the snow with you, honey," you giggled, leaning up to kiss him again. He held your lips, chasing them when you parted to stand up.
Leaning back on his hands, Finnick watched you stretch, eyes warm. "We're not gonna cuddle all day?"
"We are," you promised, and he opened the blanket with one hand immediately. Laughing, you shook your head. "Not right now, baby. I wanna go see the snow."
"You can see it reaallyy well from here." Finnick nodded at the warm spot in front of him, and you smiled, melting a little. He'd traveled so far and you wanted to do whatever he wanted. But at the same time...
"Just a few minutes," you promised, and he mock-sighed, flopping back down. "I'll be right back. Keep the bed warm, alright?"
He leapt out of bed, throwing a shirt on and reaching for the pants he'd discarded earlier. "No, I wanna come with you!" His ocean eyes were earnest, and you cooed, framing his face between your hands and giving him another kiss. Finnick could be like a puppy when he was excited. He was a puppy in the sense that he followed you everywhere too while he was home. It warmed your heart to see how much he trusted you, that this could be the one place he didn't have to think for his life.
Hand-in-hand, the two of you giddily raced outside, feet stuffed into shoes, bundled up the best you could. The snow was sticking to the ground much to your delight, and you bounced on your heels within the confines of Finnick's arms. He reached around and kissed your cheek. "It's pretty."
"It came here just for us," you giggled, bending down to scoop up a handful. It burned your hands, and you laughed at the sensation. Dropping the pile of white, you turned around to face Finnick, your smile knowing no bounds. His cheeks were pink, and you couldn't help your laugh as he swept you up into his arms, spinning you around and turning your surroundings into a blur.
He shouted, and suddenly you were on top of him, parallel to the earth. His chest was shaking with laughter, and when you lifted your head, you saw sand and snowflakes tangled in his golden hair.
Shivering, he grinned up at you, leaning in to kiss you gently. Everything was gentle with him, from the way he touched to the way he gave. You melted into him, snuggling into his chest and forgetting for a moment where you were. He tended to have that effect. Not a thing in the world mattered when he was near. It all flurried into a realm of meaninglessness, and he was the only thing left standing.
Snow continued to fall and melt on your back, but you were cradled by Finnick, so you hardly noticed. He grunted after awhile, rubbing your back. "'s getting cold, pretty girl."
"Oh!" you sprang off of him, watching sheepishly as he stood and dusted himself off. He didn't seem to mind, reaching for you immediately and tucking you under his arm.
"C'mon, baby," he said, pressing a kiss to your head mid-sentence. "The snow's pretty but I don't want you to catch a cold."
"M'kay," you said softly, smiling when he picked you up off your feet, holding you around the waist to bring back inside. Your legs were swinging, and he secured one arm under your bottom so you could wrap your them around his waist. You tucked your head into his neck, and he pressed his lips to your hair.
Back inside, Finnick piled blankets atop you both, bundling you in his arms and kissing your forehead what must have been a million times. You let him baby you even though he'd been the one lying in the snow.
"I wanna stay here forever," you mumbled, and his nose found your hair. It was a sentiment you echoed whenever he was home, but it was of no use. You always waited until he left to cry, determined not to clutter what little time you had with what you couldn't handle.
"I know," he murmured, rubbing your back and shifting under the blankets. "We're gonna have lots of cuddles, m'kay, baby? Lots and lots of cuddles. Cozy Christmas."
"Yeah," you said in a tiny voice, rendered soft by the way he held you. "Cozy." His smile was practically audible as you snuggled back into him.
It was hanging over you and maybe it always would: the fact of how temporary this all was. But for now it stayed sweet and fine spun as a snowflake, surrounding you and encasing the joy you knew you would cling to later. Every second with him was precious, and you were determined to be there for every bit of it.
You thought fondly of the gifts wrapped under your Christmas tree- the ones you'd planned on saving for when he returned in the new year. Now you had a cozy Christmas morning to look forward to, fantasies of sitting with Finnick by the fireplace present as you inhaled softly, cozier than you'd been in a long time.
He held you tight, like you'd disappear come morning. As if you'd ever leave his side when he was near. You kissed his chest and rubbed your hand over the spot, satisfaction filling you when he nuzzled your head. Whenever he was gone you slept with mountains of blankets, no matter what the temperature was. It was the closest you could get to him when the Capitol was having its turn.
Pushing it all to the side, you snuggled close. He was here now, a surprise as rare as snow on the sand. You savored it, the makings of a memory flickering like a candle on Christmas Eve.
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zablife · 10 months ago
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Now You Know the Truth (Part 5)
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Summary: You don't understand why you're unsettled by your seemingly perfect life with Tommy until the family gathers together at Christmas.
Author's Note: There's one more part to come!
Warnings: pregnancy, flashbacks
Part 4
Tommy wrapped his strong arms around your waist and hips protectively, placing a kiss to your midsection. "You're perfect," he praised against the slight swell of your stomach, voice muffled in the plush velvet of your gown.
You stroked the shorn sides of his head and down his neck in slow, soothing strokes. However, the gesture was mostly to calm yourself. Unsure if it were the hormones or the house full of relatives waiting downstairs for Christmas dinner, your body hummed with nervous energy.
Sensing the slight tremor in your hands, Tommy placed his palm over your fingertips to still you as he murmured. "It's going to be different this time."
Pulling back from him, you stared intently into his crystal blue eyes. "What do you mean, Tom?"
Growing serious, he stood to meet your eyes, cupping your face in his palm as he instructed, "You're to look after yourself. Follow the doctor's orders to stay home and avoid exertion." He stressed the last part and you bit your lip as you nodded slowly in understanding.
“Yes, I know. The dizzy spells..." Looking away from him shamefully you added, "I know I shouldn’t have been on the stairs when I was unwell.” You recited the words you’d been told repeatedly since your hospital stay to prove you'd listened to the advice, even when it left a bitter taste on your tongue.
"That's my girl," Tommy beamed, offering his arm to escort you downstairs. "Now shall we announce the good news?" he asked jovially.
-------------------------
The shouts of congratulations had barely died down when Frances appeared with a message. "Sir Mosley is on the line, Mr. Shelby," she informed your husband quietly.
A look of bewilderment crossing your face, you objected, "But it's Christmas!"
"I won't be long. Open the champagne," Tommy said placing a kiss to your temple. Watching him stride away to his office, Ada distracted you by asking, "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"
"I hadn't thought about it," you admitted, fidgeting with your wedding rings.
"If Polly were here we wouldn't be having this discussion at all, would we?" Ada joked with a wistful laugh.
An inebriated John threw his hand up in protest. "Pol didn't always know best," he interjected. "Remember when we had the twins, Es? Two boys she said!" As he turned to his wife, you found yourself drifting from their conversation, eyes wandering across the hall toward your husband.
Watching him absently swirling the whisky in his glass, a sense of deja vu struck you like a bolt of lightning and your limbs suddenly froze. Your eyes slowly swept from his hand to his face as a distant voice echoed in your head like a faded record. "Pol didn't always know best. She wanted me to make an honest woman of ya... I wish I'd just gone on paying you for it."
You inhaled a sharp breath as a rush of memory came over you all at once. You felt your pulse quicken, heart knocking against your ribs as you recalled Tommy's humiliation of you in the parlor followed by a frantic rush to pack and then the confrontation on the stairs. Doubling over, you clutched the back of the sofa to conceal your unsteadiness. However, you couldn’t hide the look of horror in your eyes as you relived every hateful word, stomach lurching with the final memory of crashing down the stairs. "Even if you die, you die mine."
"Y/n? Are you alright?" Ada asked, touching your forearm gently.
"Just a bit dizzy," you mumbled the half truth.
"Oh, that's right. Your condition. Have you found anything that helps?" she asked, viewing you with sisterly concern.
"I think I know what to do about it now," you said, cutting your eyes back at Tommy and feeling the spite grow within you.
Part 6
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helloalycia · 9 months ago
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𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑
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one / two / four / masterlist / wattpad
summary: you find out the reason why Jeff cheated, you and Jackie start to spend more time together and a familiar face makes a return...
warning/s: mentions of cheating.
author's note: here’s part 3! glad you’re all enjoying this one and sorry it’s posted a bit late, i’ve been fasting so time has been a whirlwind lately lmao
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After reconciling with Jackie, our relationship returned to normal, or at least as normal as it could be now that she wasn't dating my brother.
Whenever we saw each other around, she'd smile or greet me, and I her. We'd make small talk every now and then, and I accepted that this was how it would be from now on. There was no need for her to make an effort with me anymore, as sad as that was.
One day after school, I was practicing with the Music teacher and school orchestra for the school play that was happening next month. It was relatively new, but I was enjoying it. Afterwards, as I was walking to my car, I noticed the Yellowjackets leaving the field and heading in the same direction. That was where I saw Jackie, chatting with Taissa but waving at me when she saw me. By chance, we fell into step with one another.
"Hey," I said with a smile, before glancing at Taissa. "Hey, Tai, how are you?"
"Good, just tired from practice," she said, returning my smile. "You?"
"Band rehearsal," I answered, motioning to the guitar case on my back. "Tired too."
She snickered. "Nice." Then she looked to Jackie and added, "Wanna give me your bag and I'll meet you at my car?"
"Thanks, Tai," Jackie said to her, before she jogged off to the parking lot to throw their bags in. Her attention returned to me as she said, "So, band rehearsal?"
"It's for the school play," I clarified.
"You? Acting?" she teased, and I rolled my eyes playfully.
"Hilarious," I said, shooting her a look. "I'm in the orchestra."
"Ah, that makes more sense," she played along. "Though seeing you up on stage in some Shakespearean garb would've been quite the sight."
"You wish," I mumbled, making her laugh. "So, how was practice?"
She shrugged. "Not bad."
But judging by the sideways glance she gave to Shauna, who was walking to her car also, I knew things weren't great.
"Everything still weird?" I asked sympathetically.
Jackie sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. How could it not be? I lost my best friend and boyfriend in one fell swoop." I frowned, unsure what to say to make her feel better, but she shook her head and tried to change the subject. "It doesn't matter anyway."
"It does," I said softly.
"It's just awkward at practice now," she admitted. "And it's not supposed to be. I'm the captain and I can't even look Shauna in the eye. I'm still upset, but what can I do? I have to get over it for the team."
If Jeff hadn't gone about this the way he did, none of this would be happening. Would he have done something different if he knew the repercussions of his actions?
"I'm sorry," I said, smiling sadly. "I wish I could help somehow."
She relaxed her shoulders and gave me a small smile. "You are."
I disagreed, but she was stubborn, so I didn't comment.
"Anyway, I'm tired from practice now, but we haven't had a proper catch up since...," she started, but paused, unsure how to mention the cheating thing. "Yeah. Do you want to come 'round to mine tomorrow?"
My eyebrows raised, not expecting her to say that. And as much as I wanted to accept, I couldn't tomorrow.
"Not to sound like a nerd, but I have homework," I said with a slight chuckle.
"Oh, I can help," she offered, before smiling cockily. "I've done it all before, remember?" I laughed at her eagerness, and her amusement was replaced with sincerity as she continued, "Just because Jeff isn't in my life now, doesn't mean you don't have to be. I'm still here for you, y'know."
Hearing her say this warmed my heart and put any doubts I had about our relationship to rest. Maybe I wasn't just Jeff's little sister after all.
"I know," I confirmed. "I'm happy to stop by tomorrow. Thanks, Jackie."
She flashed me a smile, and I tried not to get distracted by how beautiful she was. Jeff was pretty stupid, wasn't he?
As time went on between Jackie and I, it felt like we actually became friends and not just circumstantial acquaintances. I tried my best to be there for her, both because I wanted to be and also because it felt right after my brother was the reason for her hurt. She never visited my place because Jeff lived there and she didn't want to see him, so I'd stop by hers if we hung out outside of school.
She never spoke more on the Shauna/Jeff situation, even when I knew she hadn't properly talked to either of them since finding out. Despite it all, I knew she missed Shauna, her best friend, but it was all still fresh and I just guessed she was bottling it away for now. I wondered how long she'd last like that – maybe forever – until she finally broke.
A few weeks later, a month after they'd broken up, I was watching a Yellowjackets game with Jeff at school. As always, they'd dominated the game with a 3-0 advantage and the crowd were on the pitch celebrating in no time. My plan was to congratulate Jackie, glad she'd worked on whatever problems had been developing in practice, when I noticed Jeff had wandered off in a different direction. I didn't really pay him much attention as I scanned the pitch for Jackie.
"Jackie!" I called over the noise of the crowd when I spotted her.
She wasn't looking at me, her expression dropping as she looked right past me. I followed her gaze, realising she was staring at Jeff who was hugging Shauna. I raised my brows with surprise, not realising they'd made it official now, and then he kissed her and she let him and I didn't know what to think. It felt inappropriate considering everything, but they didn't seem to care. Maybe they'd deemed a month long enough before going public.
I looked back to Jackie, whose jaw was clenched as she glared at them, and then before I could go to her, she stormed off angrily. I cursed inwardly, glancing at Jeff and Shauna once more – they hadn't noticed, too enamoured by one another.
Following after Jackie, I ran off the pitch and saw a streak of blonde heading back into the school. Worried, I chased after her, catching sight of her running down the hall.
"Jackie, wait up!" I called after her, breathless. Geez, was I really this unfit?
She kept running, going to the locker room and slamming the door behind her. I sighed, letting myself in, and she spun around at my entry. Tears were streaming down her face and she hastily attempted to wipe them away, making my chest hurt.
"What is it?" she asked calmly, though her hands were shaking.
I frowned. "I didn't know he was... seeing her now."
Feigning indifference, she said, "What does it matter? Obviously it was going to happen. They didn't fucking cheat for nothing, right?"
"Not so soon though."
She smiled bitterly, squeezing her hand into a fist as she tried to collect herself. But the tears were welling in her eyes again, and then she suddenly punched the locker angrily.
"Fuck him!" she yelled, startling me, before hitting the locker again. "Why does he get to be happy when I'm not?! How is that fair when he did the bad thing?!"
I let her calm down, figuring she needed to get her frustration out somehow, and then she frowned to herself, lips trembling.
"It's not," I agreed. "You're right."
She hugged herself, tears rolling down her cheeks silently. "If I'd just slept with him, if I hadn't waited, maybe he'd...," she began to mumble to herself, but stopped.
I was both grossed out and furious when I heard this. I'd never known the reason for their breakups, but this wasn't what I'd expected. And now Jeff had got what he wanted whilst Jackie was left to question everything. God, if I wasn't annoyed at him before, I definitely was now.
"No," I told her, irritated, but at my idiot brother. "That's not the right way to think. What he did was horrible. Whether or not that was the reason, he shouldn't have cheated. He's a coward, Jackie, and you shouldn't be here upset thinking about what ifs."
She shook her head, voice stuck in her throat, and then looked at me with glistening eyes. It broke my heart, seeing a usually confident and sure-of-herself girl broken at the hands of some guy.
"Oh, Jackie," I said sympathetically, stepping forward to hug her.
She fell into my arms, hiding her head in my shoulder and sniffling quietly. I didn't let go, one arm around her as the other rubbed circles on her back.
"You deserved better than him anyway," I told her quietly, lips moving against her hair. "I love him, he's my brother, but it wasn't right what he did."
She didn't reply, but she didn't make a move to leave either, so we stayed like that until I led her to the bench between the lockers, still entwined. Her sniffling lessened and the wet spot on my shoulder grew cold when she finally pulled back; her hand found mine and she didn't let go.
"Thank you," her voice came out as an unintentional whisper, making her clear her throat. "Things have just been so hard. Shauna was my person, and I'm just– I'm so hurt by her actions."
"I can imagine," I said, squeezing her hand gently. After a pause, eyes taking in her red, swollen ones with concern, I asked, "D'you think you'd ever forgive her?"
She exhaled shakily. "I don't know."
I nodded, waiting for her to take a breath. She let go of my hand finally, wiping away the remaining tears on her face before growing embarrassed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you," she apologised. "You definitely didn't sign up for this."
"It's alright," I assured her. "I'm just worried about you."
She looked down at her hands, knuckles red from punching the locker. "All that talk about me being there for you and, really, it was me who needed you."
I cracked a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, the extent of your support was tutoring me in French, and you're shit at that. Pas bon du tout (not good at all)."
She let out a laugh, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Making her laugh after she'd just cried, admiring the way her eyes glistened with tears but in a way that made them sparkle because of her momentary happiness... I'd never seen anything like it.
"I'm gonna pretend I understood that," she spoke with a raspy voice, before hugging me once more.
"C'mon," I encouraged, standing up and pulling her with me. "This isn't how you should be celebrating your victory. You're the team captain for crying out loud!" She smiled, and I continued, "Don't you usually go to those after parties?"
She pushed her fringe from her eyes. "I'm not really in the mood. Shauna and Jeff will probably be there...”
"Okay, how about celebrating with the girls?" I asked, not wanting to upset her so quickly.
Judging from her expression, I knew they'd be at the party too, so that was out. I pursed my lips, trying to think of a way to cheer her up, and then decided to just do it myself.
"Right, get ready and then meet me outside," I instructed.
"What?"
I was already heading to the door as I answered, "I'm taking you out. My treat."
She tilted her head, giving me a knowing look. "You don't have to do that."
I shrugged. "I want to."
She sighed deeply, smile curving on her lips gratefully.
As promised, I took Jackie out that evening, treating her to some ice cream at the fancy parlour in town and buying her whatever she liked. We talked about everything and anything, and I hoped that, for at least a moment, she could forget all about Jeff and Shauna.
It took a while after Jeff and Shauna had gone public with their relationship for Jackie to finally accept it and try to move on. Personally, I don't think I could have had it in me to be the bigger person, but when Jackie came to me telling me she wanted to clear the air with them, I knew she'd made up her mind.
Ultimately, it was her choice and I was happy that she finally felt like she was in a place where she could move on. Whatever she'd said to them had done wonders for her, as she no longer avoided my house anymore when she wanted to hang out, and I sometimes saw her talking to Shauna without staring daggers into the side of her head. It was progress I never thought I'd see.
Shortly after that, Shauna brought it upon herself to try and fix things with me. We'd never talked much before, but since she was Jeff's new girlfriend, she must have felt she needed to make things right. That was one awkward conversation, and I was still upset at her for how she'd handled the situation, but I knew that if Jackie could forgive her, then so could I.
So, that was how everything had settled into a new 'normal'. My friendship with Jackie had grown stronger and I was on somewhat good terms with my brother and Shauna, and I guess that was all I could need right now. Of course, that didn't change the fact that I still had a massive crush on Jackie, and anytime she'd show any interest in me, I grew flustered.
Take this one time when she was sat in the school theatre, waiting for me to finish up practice for the school play after school. It was in two weeks and we were doing final run-throughs with the music and acting together. Jackie was only here because we had plans to grab food afterwards, since she'd finished soccer practice today too.
After what felt like forever, the Drama teacher finally dismissed us all and I joined Jackie by the exit.
"That was actually pretty good," she said when she saw me, nodding to the stage where the other students were finishing up.
"It's not a bad play," I said with a shrug, before shouldering my guitar case. "You planning to get tickets?"
At this, she looked to me with a smirk. "Well, of course. Gotta support you, right?"
She was teasing me and I began to grow warm at the way she was staring at me, and then she was grinning at my reaction and I avoided her stare. Times like these were when I really wished I could get over her.
I was cleaning out my bedroom, per my mum's request as she wanted to do a spring clean even though it was the middle of the summer, when I heard Jeff calling me from his room.
"Coming!" I called back, before dropping what I was doing to see what he wanted.
If my room was a tip, his was much worse. But when he saw me, he had a neatly collated box of items in hand, holding it out to me.
"What's this?" I asked, accepting the box that he practically thrust in my arms. When I looked inside, I saw some girly items that definitely weren't his.
"They're Jackie's," he answered awkwardly. "It's just some stuff she left behind that I never got around to returning. I'd go, but I think it might be better if you do."
"Right," I breathed out, before nodding. "I'll sort it."
He offered me a small smile. "Thanks, Y/N."
I gave Jackie's house number a call, ending up in a polite conversation with her mother who loved to talk my ear off and, of course, ask about Jeff who she still wasn't letting go of. After I finally got to the point of my call, she encouraged me to stop by so I thanked her and made my way over to the Taylor residence, only planning to make a quick trip.
When I rang their doorbell however, nobody answered. I rang it another time and even knocked a few times, but there was nothing. And then I fell silent as I heard a faint beat playing from somewhere. Following the sound of the music, I found myself walking around to the garden, realising there was a pool party going on. The Yellowjackets were all here from what I could see, some lying on sun beds whilst others played in the pool. Music was blaring from some speakers and they all seemed to be having the time of their life in the sun.
"Y/N, hey!" I heard Jackie, and searched the space to find her in the pool.
My mouth went dry when I saw her climbing out, only in her two-piece swimwear. As she approached me with a smile, I was certain I'd forgotten how to breathe, unsure where to look because it all seemed inappropriate. Her hair was wet, water droplets rolling down her tanned skin, and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had a heart attack from how hot she looked there and then.
"My mum said you were stopping by," she said, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
I looked at her eyes and only her eyes, hoping my face wasn't as hot as the sun felt right now. "Yeah, I rang the doorbell but nobody answered."
"My bad, sorry," she said with a laugh. "I'm having a team pool party. Team building and all that. The music must have been too loud."
"It's all good," I said quickly. "Erm, I've got some of your things. You left it at ours when you were... yeah."
At the implication of Jeff, her smile faded naturally. Glancing at the box, she nodded gratefully.
"You alright to follow me?" she asked, grabbing her towel from the chair.
"Sure."
As she led the way, some of the girls said their hellos when I walked past, and then Jackie led me through her mansion of a home before settling in the kitchen.
"You can just leave it on the table over there," she said, nodding to the dining table whilst drying herself with her towel.
All I could do was nod as I went to set it down, and then she was suddenly behind me, the scent of chlorine and suncream washing over me.
"I was wondering where that necklace was," she said with amusement, looking over my shoulder and down at the necklace at the top of the box.
I shivered at how close she was, acutely aware of her minimal clothing and trying so hard not to let my eyes wander.
"You seem nervous, are you okay?" she asked, before walking to the fridge. "You want a drink?"
I swallowed hard, shaking my head. "No, sorry, I've gotta go finish cleaning the house with my mum. It's just hot out."
She smirked, clearly aware of the effect she was having on me, but I was too flustered to comment on it.
"That's too bad," she said with a pout. "You can stay if you want."
I waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it's a team thing. I'll be okay."
She chuckled, eyeing me curiously, probably noticing the way I couldn't even meet her gaze anymore. "C'mon. I'll walk you out."
I followed her as she led me back into the garden, where the others were still having the time of their life. Jackie stopped and flashed me another picture perfect smile.
"Have fun cleaning," she said, patting my shoulder. "Maybe next time, yeah?"
I nodded, suddenly finding the space behind her head very interesting. She hugged me, making me freeze at the contact of both her body and the water on my clothes. She had to be doing this on purpose, surely.
"See you later," she said sweetly, eyelashes fluttering.
I nodded, quickly backing up, and stupidly almost slipping into the pool as I grew distracted by her yet again.
She laughed, warning, "Be careful!"
I smiled awkwardly, before taking extra care to leave without making even more of a fool of myself. Could you blame me? The last thing I needed right now was to be in close proximity of a half dressed Jackie Taylor.
Jackie Taylor was on everyone's radar, even when she was taken by Jeff, so I should have expected someone to make their move once enough time had passed since their breakup. Still, knowing it would happen didn't make it any easier to witness.
There was a fair in the park and the band and I had secured a gig there, playing a few sets during the evening. We played some covers and a few originals, the first we'd ever performed that I'd written. It was surreal, but everybody seemed to like it which made the smile permanent on my face the whole time.
After our first set, we all went offstage to take a quick break, and that was when Jackie found me. It was the first I'd seen her all evening, since she'd arrived with her friends and I was busy up until now.
"Y/N, you were amazing up there!" she complimented as soon as she saw me, pulling me in for a hug.
"Thanks, Jackie," I said appreciatively, returning her hug. "How long have you been here?"
"Your whole set," she said with a smile. "And would you look at that – I finally heard some original songs."
My cheeks grew warm as she shot me a teasing smile.
"I don't suppose you'll tell me who they're about?" she asked innocently, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.
"You supposed correctly," I retorted with a knowing look, making her curse quietly with defeat. I laughed and added, "Look, I appreciate your curiosity, but maybe they're just songs, d'you ever consider that?"
She eyed me suspiciously, smile ever present. "I guess... but I've got my eye on you, Y/N."
I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, hoping she couldn't hear my heart racing in my chest. Green-brown eyes met mine, sparkling with mischief, and I forced myself to endure, not wanting to raise suspicion. Hopefully she'd never find out they were all about her.
After chatting with her on my break for a little longer, I rejoined the band onstage and performed a few more songs. It was easier to spot Jackie in the crowd now that I knew where I was looking, and she looked so cute as she stood there with her friends, dancing along to the music. It was almost a dream, and then it wasn't. Because as I was performing, I noticed some guy talking to her, the flirting very obvious even from where I was stood.
I tried to stay focused, purposely avoiding looking in her direction, but I couldn't help myself. My eyes would drift back over to her, and that damn guy was still there, trying his luck as she entertained it for a bit. I knew I never had a chance with her, but seeing the girl you liked chatting to another guy was always a kick in the teeth, especially when it meant she wasn't paying you any attention anymore.
After a few more songs, the band and I called it a night and wanted to enjoy the fair together. Jackie was still being talked to by that guy, so I attempted to ignore it and focused on having a nice night out with my friends.
After playing a few carnival games and going on some rides, Jackie found me again, standing with my friends as Y/BF/N bought some ice cream for herself.
"Hey, guys, nice performance tonight," Jackie complimented the others, who chorused their gratitude. She added, "You mind if I steal Y/N away for a bit?"
"Oh, no, go for it!" Tommy insisted with a grin, tugging the others away before I could protest.
I sighed as Jackie flashed me an enthusiastic smile. "I've been dying to go on the bumper cars. Wanna come?"
"I, er, I'm not really in the mood," I said, possibly being a little petty but I couldn't help it, I was just sad.
"Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun!" she exclaimed, shaking my arm. "You're not seriously gonna leave me hanging, are you?"
I chewed on my lip as she watched me hopefully, and it only made me realise how stupid I was being. She couldn't help it if a guy wanted to hang out with her, and I definitely had no right to be jealous. I'd watched her be my brother's girlfriend all these years, surely I could live with the fact that she'd inevitably get another boyfriend and I'd never have a chance with her.
Before I could give in and agree, the guy from earlier approached us again, checking Jackie out in a not so subtle way.
"Hey, Jackie," he said with a smile, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, jealousy returning in an instant. "You wanna go on the ferris wheel with me?"
I crossed my arms and looked away momentarily, anticipating the part where she'd say yes and this would all be for nothing.
"I appreciate you asking, Matt, but no thanks," she said politely.
"Oh," he said with surprise, and then grew awkward, probably not expecting her to decline. "Okay."
He left soon enough, embarrassed, and I glanced at Jackie with suspicion.
"Why not?"
She looked back to me, quirking a brow. "Huh?"
I motioned in his direction. "Why didn't you wanna go with him? He was flirting with you earlier, wasn't he?"
She suppressed a smile, eyes meeting mine with amusement. "Because I'm trying to hang out with you, idiot, if you'd only say yes."
My gaze flickered to the ground sheepishly as she let out a quiet chuckle.
"Bumper cars," I confirmed. "Sure."
Her smile widened. "Awesome. C'mon."
I let her drag me to the bumper cars, lightening up as we spent some time together. The longer the evening went on, the less this 'Matt' guy was gnawing at me, because Jackie chose me and that was something, right? We went on rides, played some stupid fair games at her insistence, despite them definitely being rigged, and she forced me to win her a prize even when I lost several times. But all in all, she was happy, and so was I, and I suppose that was all that mattered in the moment.
The first night of the school play was finally upon us and I was backstage getting ready when Jackie paid me a visit, surprising me with a bouquet of flowers.
"These are for me?" I asked with genuine surprise.
"What is it they say in showbiz? Break a leg?" she asked rhetorically, before laughing at her own joke.
I smiled to myself as I looked down at the flowers in my hand. "Jackie, they're beautiful. Nobody's ever got me flowers before."
She tilted her, confused. "Well, that's not right."
I chuckled, gaze falling to her. "Thank you."
Heart warming in my chest, I pulled her into a hug with my free hand, grateful for her support.
"You deserve it," she said simply, before squeezing me tight then letting go. "I should go find my seat. I'll be right at the front where you can see me."
I laughed. "I'll keep an eye out. Thanks, Jackie."
She flashed me a smile before leaving to find her seat, and I couldn't stop smiling as the Drama teacher briefed us once more before final call.
The show went on with few hiccups, probably the best run we'd ever done, and the audience seemed to love it, giving us a huge round of applause. When the orchestra got their own special shout-out, I caught sight of my family in the middle, applauding, and then Jackie, who was cheering me on so loudly at the front that I couldn't help but flush with embarrassment.
Once the curtains closed, the orchestra had to go backstage for another word with the teachers before we were finally alright to leave. I found my family waiting for me at the back of the theatre and walked by the other students receiving praise from their families.
"There she is!" Jeff exclaimed when he saw me, grabbing my shoulder and squeezing it supportively.
I smiled as my parents pulled me in for a hug and congratulated me on the show.
"Thanks, guys, thanks for coming," I said gratefully, looking between them all. "You really didn't have to. I wasn't even in the show."
"Nonsense," my mum said with a wave of her hand. "You played beautifully, sweetie."
I breathed out deeply, both embarrassed and appreciative of their support. And then Jeff's expression dropped and I realised Jackie was approaching, flashing my parents a smile.
"Jackie, how lovely to see you," my mum greeted her. "You're here for Y/N too?"
"Yes, she did great, didn't she?" Jackie asked, putting an arm around my shoulder playfully.
"She did," my dad replied with a proud smile, before raising the flowers Jackie got me in the air. "And thanks for the flowers. It was kind of you to get them for her."
"Anytime," Jackie said with a shrug, before looking to me. "Are you free now or d'you have plans?"
Before I could respond, my mum insisted I celebrate with Jackie, trusting her. Since her breakup with Jeff, Jackie was still a favourite of my parents, understandably so. After saying our goodbyes, I was left with Jackie, who seemed excited about something.
"What are you thinking?" I asked her with amusement.
"I wanna hang out, my treat," she said nonchalantly.
My smile grew. "Seriously?"
She linked arms with me and began leading me to the door. "Seriously."
And that was how we ended up at the arcade that evening, with Jackie keeping to her word and rinsing all her pocket money on the arcade machines that were definitely a waste but she didn't seem to mind. We played air hockey, skeeball, a zombie shooter game and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't think she liked, and it was awesome.
After spending over an hour messing around, she generously bought me dinner there, some burgers and fries, and I was certain I was dreaming.
"You have your own ketchup, y'know," I said with raised brows when she dipped her fries into mine.
"I ate it and there's none left in the bottle," she claimed, before going in for another dip.
"Then ask for another bottle!" I exclaimed between a laugh, pulling my tray away.
"Quit being selfish!" she retorted with a grin, before leaning over the table to land a swipe.
"Jackie!" I scolded, and she winked as she ate her fry.
I rolled my eyes at her petulance before recognising someone behind her, approaching our direction. After a double take, I realised it was Eve Perkins, captain of the Lions soccer team and the girl Jackie utterly despised. The memory of the party from last year came to mind, including the whole argument I had with Jackie afterwards, and I suddenly prayed Eve wasn't here to cause trouble.
"Okay, don't freak out, but Eve Perkins is heading this way," I said calmly.
Jackie was surprised, straightening up in her seat and dying to turn around, but she kept her cool. "I won't."
"So, let me get this straight," Eve said as soon as she stopped by our table, looking down at Jackie with irritation. "You freak out at me for hanging with a sophomore, only to hang out with her yourself? What? Was her brother not enough?"
I almost choked on my drink at the abruptness of her words, worrying when I saw Jackie beginning to clench her jaw and fix Eve with a glare.
"Firstly, that's none of your business," she said lowly. "And secondly, you bitch."
I sighed inwardly, already expecting an argument, and Eve laughed bitterly.
"Tell me, Jackie. You still worried we're gonna beat you next week?" she asked condescendingly.
"Not worried at all," Jackie said through gritted teeth, reaching for her drink to calm down.
Eve smirked with satisfaction before looking to me. "Y'know, it's a shame you're hanging out with her still. You were cute. And you definitely deserve to be more than Jackie's sloppy seconds."
Mean girl fighting was never my thing, and I was stunned into silence at how rude Eve was being, clearly because of some unresolved business with Jackie. I was also a little embarrassed at what she was implying was between Jackie and I, unsure how to respond.
"Fuck you," Jackie said instantly, not at a loss for words, and it made me realise just how quickly things had taken a turn for the worst.
"Okay, how about we just leave it?" I said, looking between them both before settling on Eve with pleading eyes. "Please?"
Eve seemed to give in, rolling her eyes before walking off to rejoin her friends by the arcade machines. I sighed with relief before returning my attention to a distracted Jackie.
"Are you okay?" I asked with concern.
She breathed out slowly. "Yes. Sorry."
"It's okay. I'm just surprised Eve reacted like that. It came out of nowhere."
"I'm not," Jackie mumbled under her breath, only confirming my suspicion of some unfinished business between her and Eve.
I chewed on my lip, still a little concerned, but then she met my eyes with apologetic ones, expression softening.
"I'm sorry she said all that," she said sincerely, though her cheeks were tinged pink. "You're not my... it's not like..." She was struggling, eyes flittering around uncharacteristically, before she finished, "You're more than my sloppy seconds."
Realising why she was awkward, I began to chuckle. "Jackie, I know. I don't believe what she said. And besides, no sloppy seconds would be treated as wonderfully as I have tonight."
She hid a smile as she nodded. "Right."
It was easy for things to return back to how they were after that little interruption, and Jackie and I finished the rest of our meals in peace. Once we were done, I grabbed our trays to throw in the bin and she waited for me by the door. As I was dusting my hands off, I felt a presence beside me and looked up, not expecting to see Eve yet again. I hoped she wasn't here to start another argument, especially because I knew I'd lose it.
"I meant it when I said you deserve better than Jackie Taylor, you know that, right?" she said with a quirked brow.
I frowned. "That wasn't very nice. Jackie's a good person."
Eve snorted in disagreement. "Sure she is."
I shifted my weight between my feet awkwardly., "Look, your feud is your feud. I'm not gonna get involved."
She shrugged. "Fair enough. Sorry for involving you."
I nodded appreciatively, and she gave me a small smile.
"See you around, cutie."
Again, I was speechless as she walked away, wondering if she was trying to mess with my head to somehow get back at Jackie. Either way, there wasn't reason for me to see her around since we went to different schools, so I didn't let it worry me too much. Instead, I returned to Jackie who was glaring at Eve from across the room.
"What did she want now?" she asked with annoyance.
Not wanting to give her more reason to be frustrated, I said, "She just wanted to apologise."
Jackie glanced at me, unconvinced, but I shrugged and held open the door for her.
"Let's get you home, Jackie."
Thankfully, she didn't question me.
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prophecyofwinter · 4 months ago
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Se Riña Qilōni Iprattan Se Jēdar | VI
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Summary | Saera Targaryen daughter of Jaehaerys I ran away from Westeros to escape her fate. 45 years later her daughter Y/N Targaryen, with invitation from King Viserys wishes to go back.
Tags | Angst, Slowburn (Hot&Cold), TargCest, Smut, Standard ASOIAF content, Aemond and Reader are First Cousins Once Removed, Reader is Self-serving, Terrible Sibling Dynamics, Fluff tags to be added
Special warnings | Violence against women, Incel-like behavior, descriptions of injuries
Word Count: 3.6k
Author Notes | I have put up a poll to get readers feel for a certain story direction, please give it a quick vote! Poll here
Prologue | Chapter V | | Chapter VII Masterlist
Chapter VI | Love Thy Sister
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“What do you think of her?” Alicent asks her son, looking up at him from her cushioned seat. Alicent hoped by telling Aemond to take the girl for a walk she’d feel welcome enough for the time being. Even though she is legitimized as a Targaryen, she can leave at any time. If she does not feel welcome, she may take herself and her titles back to Volantis. Back to the whore house her mother is from and disgrace the Targaryen name just as her mother did, and the blame would be put on Alicent.
“I suppose she is a good conversationalist… as beautiful as they say her mother is.” Aemond looks down at her, he rubs his hand along his jaw. Aemond knows his duty that was forced upon him, Alicent does not doubt this. 
However, she has influenced him to have a greater distaste for bastards. Of course, she doesn’t expect nor want Aemond to put his biases to the side, but for the safety of the Targaryen name he must learn to push it down for her.
“Continue to keep her happy, if you wander-“ 
“I am not Aegon if that’s what you are implying.” Aemond interrupts her with one of his quips. Alicent rubs her temples with a sigh, in her mind she knows Aemond would never do such a thing, but you can never be fully sure with young men. Aemond places his hand on Alicents shoulder, bringing her out of thought and she looks back up at her son.
“She knows what she is and I can deal with that.”
—————
The sun has sunk below the horizon and you stand with your hands gripping the stone of your balcony. The light breeze pushes your loose hair to the side, tickling your cheeks. 
The past 5 days have been repeating each other, waking up, fitting into tight clothes that you still can’t get used to, breaking your fast alone, taking brisk walks through the gardens; you’ve taken to needlework to fill up your time, still not good at it. Ending your days eating dinner with Vaegon, he insists on sitting next to you instead of on the other side of the table, you’ve gotten tired of telling him otherwise. 
Your only real interactions have been with Aegon, he manages to find you in the gardens every day. It has become routine at this point. Small conversations where he stands a little too close and rests his hand on your lower back. Your brother was fuming behind the two of you, but alas there was nothing he could do. 
Perhaps Aegon simply got a kick out of your brother's reaction; in that case, you don’t mind at all. 
Aemond hadn't bothered to even acknowledge your existence. You haven't seen him, heard him, smelled him, tasted him, touched him. All your senses are absent of him! 
Your head had been so full of ideal situations, that you didn’t consider living an isolated life in a foreign land! You had to push down girlish thoughts and take charge for yourself!
“Are you done with your childish games sister?” 
You were knocked out of your thoughts by Vaegon resting his armor-covered hands on the back of your shoulders. You tensed up at the contact, your stomach instantly became uneasy. 
“Your fantasies didn’t work out. No prince to whisk you off your feet as we pretended when we were children. Only a maimed icy boy who doesn’t love you.” He begins to gently massage your shoulders. Disgust rises on your face with your fists so tight your nails may draw blood.
“And you do?” You do not turn to look at him, simply at the night sky.
“More than that freak could.” He laughs resting his chin on your shoulders and moves his hands to caress your arms. This pushed you far over the line. You turned around and pushed him back with full force, it didn’t do much but push him a foot back. Frustrated at this failed attempt you slap him making sure to claw his skin with your nails. 
You hadn’t meant to dig that deep. Vaegons scream was in true carnal pain, he held his cheek with blood flowing from between his fingers. You had scarred him from cheekbone to chin. You looked down to your hand and you could see the skin you tore off beneath your nails. You looked back at him in shock, your mouth went dry as you couldn’t think of any words to say. 
“You fucking cunt!”
You saw your brother's eyes turn from purple to black as he ran to grip your neck with both hands, knocking the wind out of you. He was crushing your throat and his hand armor was cutting deeply. 
“Va-vaegon plea-“ you begin to claw at his hands as you choke out words. 
“I will not come second to some pompous cunt! I have worked all my life to prove myself worthy of you! Yet you whore yourself out to the first cock that fills your self serving cunt.” He shook you around with gritted teeth, not seeming to care about the sting and blood from his cheek. “You stand there and mock me in the gardens and let that whore of a Prince touch you, am I the only one you won’t fuck?!”
Black spots started to form in your vision, he was trying to strangle you to death, and you could see it in his eyes. 
You whisper something weakly enough that he cannot make out. He leans in hopes of hearing words of submission to feed his sick fantasies.
You gargle up the saliva that you cannot swallow and spit directly into his ear. He instantly jumps back and pushes you away. He falls on his ass getting away from you. You erupt in laughter even when your spine makes contact with the stone balcony you laugh through the pain.
Vaegon is at a loss for words, tears start to form and threaten to fall down his face. Humiliation is all over his face, you have permanently scarred his face. Maimed him as he laughed at Aemond for being. This scar was not gained honorably, not in a battle, not because he was punished, not from protecting a damsel in distress. He gained nothing from it.
He let a woman, his sister, swipe him so brutally. It made him even less of a man in the eyes of everyone. 
No mother to comfort him, not even a whore to console him, the only person he had was his sister who was looking down on him.
Laughing at him. 
Your laughter died down, small giggles escaping your lips still. The lack of air to your head and raw adrenaline diluted the pain you should be feeling at the moment. You walked over to your brother, looking down at him as he looked down at you moments ago with his hands on your throat.
“I am greater than you now brother, you are still a bastard. I could have you hung and spiked on the walls. However, it breaks my heart to see you like this.” You say softly with a joking tone. Vaegon continues looking up at you with a rage behind his eyes.
“If it would serve as compensation. You can have the privilege of standing guard at mine and Prince Aemonds marital chambers on our wedding night. As a parting gift.” 
Vaegon instantly stands on his feet and scoffs with a baffled expression. Suddenly, the weight of his crimes against a noble hit him hard, and he rushed out of the room to escape to who knows where.
You stood there for a few moments, absorbing your grand victory. You didn’t care where he ran, who he ran to, what he was going to do after running. Your breath was heavy and your lungs began to feel like they were struggling to take air in.
Just as your adrenaline calmed down it rose back up with anxiety. You rushed over to your mirror and looked at your neck to see bruises already forming and where his armor had cut your neck. How could you explain this? Someone will see your bruises and see Vaegons cheek and put it together. 
You hadn’t noticed the tears running down your face until you looked in the mirror, you looked in disarray. 
The pain started to shock through your body, finally registering the violence Vaegon put onto you.
Your throat felt like it was closing up, the pressure from your corset made the rising bruise on your lower back hurt so badly you feared you might empty your stomach on the floor. 
You saw the blood trail on the floor and your eyes moved over to the balcony and there was a small pool of blood in plain sight. You looked around your chambers for anything to clean it up. You froze by the sound of knocking at your door followed by your door opening. 
You hear the sound of crashing and liquid splashing on the floor. Someone rushed to your side who you recognized to be Mela. She knelt by your sitting form and held your arms gently. 
“Princess! What happened?! Who hurt you?!” Mela attempted to talk calmly but the urgency of the moment raised her tone. 
You don’t know what happened, all of a sudden everything came crashing down onto you. You were crying so hard you couldn’t form any words, your throat and neck hurt even worse with all your heavy breathing. Stuttering out incoherent and unfinished sentences with hand gestures that meant nothing. 
Mela stood and held you close to your chest like a mother would, and you held onto her arms and cried. She yelled something at Ellyn and the girl rushed out of the room, the door left wide open potentially for anyone to see. The pain of being manhandled by Vaegon started seeping in and all of a sudden your whole body started hurting, you couldn’t tell where it was coming from; you only knew it hurt. 
“Shhhh, Let me see Princess.”
Mela lifted your chin and gasped at the state of your neck. She lightly touched one of the fresh bruises, even the lightest touch made you whimper and flinch away. You couldn’t breathe without pain shocking through your body which made you cry more so tears never stopped streaming down your face. 
A barrage of footsteps approaches the open door to see Mela holding your sobbing body. Immediately a maester is by your side, gently pushing Mela away to see your injuries. You close your eyes to think the pain away, and a few gasps follow when your neck becomes exposed. 
“Gods be good, who did this Princess?” The Maester touched around your neck to examine the damage. You couldn’t think, the feeling of eyes on you, the pain in your neck, the pain in your lower back tightened by a corset.
You claw at the back of your dress just wanting to tear it off. Mela stops your hands to pull you onto your feet, your groans of pain don’t stop her at all. Ellyn moves behind you to loosen the layers of your dress. You let out a deep sigh of relief when your corset is removed and your body almost fully collapses into Mela.
Your lower back is revealed with the removal of the corset and you hear gasps of sympathy from the other maids in the room. Mela has you against her in a way that your breasts aren’t revealed to keep some form of modesty, even if it’s just maids and a maester.
“Gods… what has happened here?!” Alicents voice sounded through the room, her voice painted with concern. 
“I’m not sure my Queen, she’s in too much pain. She won't speak.” The Maester said without turning to Alicent still looking around at the newly discovered bruise. The Maester leaves the room to hopefully get some kind of ointment or cream to soothe you.
You looked up at Alicent and she looked down at you, biting at the skin of her thumb. 
The small part of you that isn’t in pain feels humiliated, this was your triumphant moment over your brother. But here you are, crying so hard you can’t speak, naked from the waist up, multiple people gawking at your injured limp body. You can barely even listen to the people around you, blood is pumping through your ears. 
A nightgown comes over your head and you move your arms slowly to fill the armholes. By the feeling of the fabric you can tell it’s not one from Westeros, it’s one of your own from Volantis. With these, your back could remain open instead of being rubbed with cloth. You watch Alicent move her hand to caress your hair gently, looking at you with an expression you can’t make out. Sympathy? Pity?
Alicent leans down and murmurs something to you.
“Was this Aemond?”
You shake your head no and the queen lets out a sigh of relief and does one wipe of your cheek with her thumb. You made an earnest attempt to squeeze out any sound through your tightening throat.
“Vaegon-“ you pointed to the blood near the balcony, the hand you pointed with still had his blood and skin on your fingers. 
“Where is her brother? Find him!” Alicents voice rises to yell at the guards nearby. She leaves the room with haste to go off to who knows where. 
You are guided onto a couch deeper into your chambers to allow room for a maid with water and cloth to gently dab your neck. You try your best to contain your whimpers to not humiliate yourself further. Another maid grabs your hand with a wet cloth and cleans the hand you scarred Vaegon with.
After some time the Maester reentered the room with a jar of some kind of ointment. You hope the cream provides some instant comfort, anything to relieve your aches. Tears still streaked down your face, the pain still ever persistent, but you held your whimpers down still.
“Alright Princess, I’ve retrieved an ointment made of arnica. It should help with the aches and inflammation.” The Maester hands the ointment to Ellyn, she quickly replaces the maid behind you. You move your hair away to expose your neck.
Everyone besides Ellyn begins to make their leave to give you privacy now that their duty is done. You close your eyes and let out a sigh of relief when Ellyn starts to gently rub the bruised area on the back of your neck. However your eyes don’t stay closed for long; as the door opens for everyone to make their leave, a soft ‘My Prince’ in unison makes your eyes instantly open. 
Aemond enters the room with long strides, passing by servants without care. He was wearing his normal black leather, eyepatch, and sword still at his side. Ellyn stopped applying the ointment to stand up, and give a small bow to Aemond with a customary ‘my Prince’. 
“Mm. Give it here.” Aemond holds out his hand to be given the ointment. He scans the room to see the blood has not yet been cleaned up.
“Clean that up and make your leave.” He hums, Ellyn quickly hands him the jar and grabs a cloth. 
“Aemond...” You whisper to not force your voice. You jump at the feeling of Aemonds ungloved fingers applying ointment to the back of your neck. Aemonds touch struggles to be gentle, his hands are roughly textured, and you can tell he hasn’t had to be gentle with much before. 
“I caught him.” He said in a normal tone. You look to the side, your eye area red and cheeks still wet from your never-ending crying. A look of confusion grazed your face under your pained expression. 
“I walk in the gardens at night. I heard him yelling, I saw him push you. I figured he would run.”  Aemonds fingers moved to the side of your neck that was exposed to him.
“Do not take it as much. A bastard boy attacked a…Targaryen. A high crime, it was simply duty.” He talks like he doesn’t care, truly unreadable... Almost like the hardened guards that are on duty in front of the black wall in Volantis, but not quite that extreme.
But here he sits, doing his best to gently rub in ointment into the bruised necklace painted into your skin. You can’t help but give him a slight smile, Aemonds eye flickers up and moves right back down. 
Without being able to speak more than a word or two, you and Aemond sit in silence. Even when he turns you around to get the front of your throat.
You got the opportunity to look at his face closer than you ever had. Your eyes traced his red scar, your sight stopped by his eyepatch but it continued below; on down to his sharp strong nose which huffed out deep breaths occasionally; to his pink lips, straightened in focus. Of course, his most important features to you, his one good eye, a beautiful shade of purple, pointed down looking at your neck and ever so often flicked further down when he needed to get more from the jar. His platinum white hair was tucked behind his ears so he didn’t get any in his face while leaning down.
This wouldn’t last. You knew that. Soon he would remember reality and pull back once again.
“Turn back around, I have to get your back.”
Your view of Aemond is torn away by his hands twirling you back around. He makes a ‘mmm’ sound and rubs the excess on his fingers on the middle of your open back. Leaving you rather confused until he speaks.
“Your lower back is covered by your nightgown. I have to pull it down.”
You jump a little at the idea of being almost fully naked in front of him, even though the sheer fabric of your nightgown left nothing to the imagination and left most of your skin open to the air. It’s the implication of it all.
“Gods, Calm down. I will only be seeing your back, nothing I won’t see soon enough.”
Aemond pulls at the sleeves of your nightgown and slides it down as low as it can go as you are sitting down. Even though he is behind you and can’t see your breasts you feel the need to cover them with your arms, but you resist. 
Aemond starts to apply ointment once again, he presses a little too hard and a gasp gets caught in your throat, and flinch away. Aemond grasps your hips to still you and bring you back.
“I’m sorry. Let me try again.”
You nod and hope that he’s more gentle this time. This bruise was a single large long bruise straight across your lower back so it made it harder to comfortably touch it at all. He was as gentle as he could be, it would hurt regardless. 
You had to make it through the pain yourself. Focusing on making the pain go away in your head. The first thought that came to your head was how intimate this position felt compared to the others. The lower back felt like one of the more intimate locations to touch between two people. Yes, Aegon touches you there occasionally but you only allowed that because you knew Vaegon was looking. 
Aemond doing it felt different. Even if it was just him helping you. His touch brought pain with it but it still somehow got a shiver up your spine that was pleasant in its own way.
He applied the ointment rather quickly, you snapped out of your thoughts when he began to bring your nightgown back up your body and you slipped your arms through the strapped sleeves.
“You should sleep soon, you will heal faster,” Aemond spoke, rubbing your arms from the back. You froze when you felt his breath on the back of where your neck met your shoulder. Your heart starts beating fast as you can almost feel his lips disrupt the peach fuzz on your skin. 
Suddenly seconds later Aemond abruptly pulls away physically and emotionally, just as he did before. He stands and briskly walks to your chamber door, on his way he taps onto a table to put your attention to a goblet and pitcher. 
“Should aid with sleep.” 
You didn’t even get a chance to process anything. You swore you still felt his touch on your skin, it made you shiver. Aemond shut the door all but gently, leaving you alone with yourself. You sighed at the loss of touch and Aemond ran off once again.
You wouldn’t see Aemond for a few days once again.
You pushed yourself up onto your feet with a sharp pain. The ointment helped but it didn’t help with sudden movements. You hobbled over to the table Aemond gestured to. You studied it briefly before pouring the substance into the goblet. It was a cloudy blue color, you weren’t sure what to make of it. You reluctantly took a sip, your body wanted to reject it instantly. It tasted extremely bitter with an undertone of honey. It must’ve been put there for a reason so you at least finish the cup. 
Not being able to drink anymore you blow out the bigger lights in your chambers, leaving the smaller ones still lit. You started to feel drowsy, deciding to commit to lying down. Getting under the covers trying to get comfortable, you decided it was too hot under them and pushed them to the side to only cover part of your body. You found a single position that didn’t put extreme pressure on your bruises and instantly fell to sleep.
—————
🏷️: @toodlesxcuddles @yourwonkywriter @blackgirlmagicforever @knyam
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tkwrites · 11 months ago
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Back to You - Matthew Tkachuk x Jessie (ofc)
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gif from @drysaladandketchup
Title: Back To You
Author: Tory / @tkwrites 
Relationship: Matthew Tkachuck  x Jessie (ofc)
Warnings: Swearing, lots of flirting. Slow burn. Smut at the end: fingering (f receiving), oral (f and m receiving).
Summary: Jessie and Matthew meet at a New Years Eve party and form an instant connection. When a fire rips them apart, can fate bring them back together? 
Word Count: 12,700
Comments: This is my entry for @wyattjohnston‘s winter fic exchange written for @luvsherleafs
This is by far the longest piece I’ve written for Tumblr. I had a really clear vision of where I wanted it to go, and I eventually got it there. In the end, I’m so proud of how it turned out. I hope you enjoy, and would love to know what you think.
Many, many thanks to Mari @eyesthatroll and Bre @fallinallincurls for looking this over and assuring me it wasn’t garbage when I was in the trenches of writing. 
Me and you  We were a strange situation  And kissing you  Felt like Christmas Vacation  An exciting place to escape  Sometimes I wish that I could've stayed Cause you were my favorite Holiday  -Christmas Vacation by LØLØ
Back to You
Matthew couldn't tear his eyes away from her and knew he wasn't the only one. 
With dark hair cascading down her back in a long, shiny waterfall, big eyes and a plump little mouth that looked just made for kissing, she was the kind of classic girl next door people wrote into movies and books for the hero to find his way back to.
He especially liked what she was wearing. Bare legs weren’t really something he would advise at two hours to January in Ottawa, but at least it wasn’t a mini skirt like most women were tugging at constantly. Her shorts had a gold stripe on the sides that caught the flashing lights, as if they might have once been extravagant tuxedo pants tailored explicitly to show off her curvy legs. Her dark shirt had flecks of something metallic in the fabric - a wrapped and tied number like he’d never seen before. 
Laughter was all over her face as she danced with the people around her. Slamming her foot (clad in gold oxfords) down with the beat before circling her hips in time with the music. 
“Do you need a towel, man?” 
“What?” Matthew asked, pulling his eyes away to look at his brother.
“I asked if you needed a towel,” Brady repeated, failing to keep the teasing smile off his face, “for the drool.”    
Matthew flipped him off, and Brady laughed. 
“Go talk to her,” he encouraged, pushing Matthew off the bar stool. “I’m sick of watching you sit here and stare at her. Go do something about it.”  
He hesitated. It hadn't been that long since he’d broken up with Heidi.
“Go,” Brady repeated, shoving him across the walkway onto the dance floor. “Move on.”
Although he wasn't sure if he was ready to meet someone new, Matthew knew Brady was right. He’d be kicking himself come morning if he let a woman this good looking go without at least shooting his shot. 
As he weaved through the crowd of dancers, his competitive drive growled in his chest, pleased. He’d be damned if he let someone else get to her first.
“Your admirer is coming this way,” Roger said, nodding to someone over Jessie’s shoulder. 
She glanced over. A tallish guy with curly hair was walking right at her, a determined intensity all over his handsome face. Her gaze swung back to Roge, eyes wide. 
“Just letting you know so you can prepare,” he said with a wink. “I told you those shorts would bring all the boys.” 
Although she'd made them for the occasion, she didn't think they would pull the amount of attention they were getting. Her clothes often garnered a lot of lingering glances, though they usually came from other women. 
Someone tapped on her shoulder and she turned.
The same guy was standing in front of her. He was much taller up close, had light eyes, and his hair looked like it might be blonde. It was hard to tell under the dim dancefloor lights. 
He flashed her a charismatic smile. The gap between his front teeth only added to his charm. 
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, leaning in and yelling to be heard over the music. 
Jessie wasn’t generally the type to accept drinks from random strangers, but this guy was hot, had nice style, and of all the dudes that had stared at her that evening, was the first one to do something about it. 
“Sure,” she yelled back. 
“Wanna go to the bar?”
After she nodded and they started walking through the mass of dancers, she glanced over her shoulder. Roge lifted his phone out of his pocket and shook it at her. His flashlight turned on. 
She sent him a text about going to the bar and his flashlight, made sure the ringer was turned on, and slipped her phone back into her shorts pocket. Another good thing about making her own clothes: she could make the pockets as big as she needed.
Matthew couldn’t keep the smug smile off his face at the glares and disappointed looks that followed them to the bar.
“What'll you have?” the bartender asked as they came to a stop in the corner of the club. It was a bit quieter. 
“A mojito, please” she said, before gathering her hair into a fist behind her and running her hand down the length of it. 
Momentarily distracted by her actions and the flash of dark red, the bartender had to ask him again what he wanted. 
“Beer would be great,” he said, flashing a bright smile, “whatever light you recommend.” Glancing back at the girl, he ran a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn’t doing something stupid, and said, “I'm Matthew, by the way. “
“Jessie. Are you from around here?”
“No, but my brother lives here. You?”
“My family is from here, but I'm usually in the states.” she said, watching the bartender muddle the mint in her drink. He didn’t seem to be doing anything funny with it. 
“Yeah? Which one?”
“New York. Well, technically New Jersey, but I study in New York.”
“What do you study?” Matthew asked, lifting his beer bottle to his lips. 
“Fashion.”
“I should have guessed,” he said. 
“You should have?”
“Yeah. You have great style.”
The smile that spread over her face made him want to kiss her. 
“What do you do, Matthew?” she asked, as she brought the black straw in her drink to her mouth. She caught it between her tongue and teeth before her lips wrapped around it. 
His train of thought ran off the rails with visions of her mouth wrapping around other things.
Thankfully, autopilot kicked in and saved him from looking like a total creep, “I play hockey.” 
“Seriously?”
He nodded. “I'm based in Florida.”
“Why the hell are you in Ottawa for New Years,” she asked, aghast, “when you could be somewhere warm?”
“We played here yesterday, so my family are all staying with my brother. Why are you here?”
“My dad grew up here, and wanted us to experience the joys of the frozen tundra at Christmastime,” she said with a long sweep of her hand, as if gesturing to the whole country. 
He laughed again, and held her eye contact. It was so intense, she was the one to break it. 
“Anyway,” she flipped her free hand, “what do you do for fun?” 
“I honestly don’t have that much free time, but I always enjoy a good libation,” he said, holding up his bottle. 
A wide smile spread over his face when she clinked her glass against it as she said, “amen.” 
“And I like to hang out with people and I play a lot of other sports.” 
“I will never understand why athletes always want to play other sports. It’s not like I sew upholstery when I’m not making clothes.” 
He laughed, loud and genuine, and Jessie felt her heart flutter a little. 
“It can be hard to turn off the competitive drive, so it helps to have somewhere to channel it. So did you make these clothes?” he asked, nodding at her outfit. 
“Yeah. I found this gold fabric,” her fingers ran down the stripe on her left hip, “and fell in love with the idea of tuxedo shorts for New Years. I play around with a lot of menswear styles.” 
“I like them,” he said. If he, by some miracle, got nominated for another award, maybe he would get a gold striped tux made. 
“We have to wear suits to all of our games, so I’m always looking for something new and interesting,” he said. 
The conversation lulled for a moment, and he continued, “what do you do for fun?” 
“I also enjoy a good libation,” she clinked her glass against his again, “and I like to play tennis and I love movies.” 
The rest of the night was spent in that little corner of the bar, talking and laughing - Matthew was funny. Quick with a movie quote and a sarcastic comment in her ear. She told him about coming to the club with her cousins, only one of whom she really knew, and he told her about coming with his family. A younger, married brother, and a sister still in college. 
He refreshed their drinks and marveled at finding a woman who could keep up with his banter, genuinely laughed at his jokes and seemed interested in him as a person rather than as Matthew Tkachuk. 
They talked about hockey, she knew some as her dad was Canadian, but not a lot, then about fashion. 
She admitted one of the reasons she’d said yes to his drink had been his pants. 
“Listen, more American men need to understand how many more girls they’d get if they just wore the right pants!” 
He cocked an eyebrow. 
“Your pants are fitted properly so I can see your ass and your thighs, and it makes you about a thousand times more attractive.” 
A cocky smile spread over his face, “Oh, yeah?” he asked, leaning into her space. 
She gulped, “yeah. If more men wore pants like yours, they wouldn’t be single.” 
He stayed in her space, and her eyes darted to his lips. He licked them, just to see what she would do at the flash of his tongue. 
Her eyes darted back to his and her cheeks pinked. He smiled. 
The music changed to a slower, more house-style song he recognised. Jessie bumped her shoulders to the beat. 
“Do you want to dance?” Matthew asked.  
“Sure.” 
They moved to the floor, and he watched, entranced as she swung her hips in rhythm.
When she turned around, pressing flush against him, his right hand immediately grasped her hip, as if that might provide some kind of grounding from the fluttering feeling in his chest. 
It wasn’t like this had never happened - girls grinding up on him. It happened quite a lot, actually. Sometimes without any kind of consent. But this? Jessie? He couldn't get enough. She was pretty and they had the kind of instant chemistry you couldn't fake. 
He found himself thinking about her beyond that night. A first since Heidi. 
For her part, Jessie couldn't stand not touching him any longer. The chemistry between them was so palpable, she was surprised other club goers weren’t getting caught in it. Feeling him move against her made desire rumble to life in her belly, growling to be released. 
They danced that way for - Matthew lost track of how many songs. She felt amazing pressed up against him. He was so in tune with how they moved together, the dancing felt like foreplay. 
When the countdown to midnight began, she turned to face him. They were still so close - she could feel his body heat seeping through his clothing and into hers, see the way his button down was just starting to cling to his skin. 
Matthew looked down at her, not hiding any of his interest. She looked back with so much hope and lust in her eyes, his stomach twisted. 
“Three, two, one!” the crowd cheered. 
He leaned down, then paused, “okay?” 
Rising onto her toes, she closed the gap between them in answer. 
All of their flirting was leading up to this moment, and Jessie wasn’t disappointed at all. It was as if everything around them faded into soft focus and the din of the crowd melted away. It was better than she could have imagined. His tongue brushed along hers, and heat flooded her stomach. 
Matthew angled closer when her fingers slid into his hair. His hand splayed over her lower back. He wished he didn’t have this beer bottle so he could have both hands on her.
It went on and on for what felt like ages - a promise of things to come. 
Someone cat called from nearby, and Jessie broke away, pursing her lips to hide how flustered she felt. At least he was as breathless as she was, his chest expanding to the confines of his shirt with every inhale. 
They stared at each other for a moment longer, not quite engaged with the crowd, which was growing increasingly restless with the New Year in full swing.
She was debating between kissing him again, or asking if he wanted to leave all together when the lights went out, plunging them into total darkness. 
The suddenness of it made her laugh. She thought it must be some kind of prank until all at once, a mono tone alarm started to scream. Lights began to strobe - harsh, bright flashes that instantly made spots appear in her vision. 
The word “fire” was popping up in the crowd.
Just as he was starting to register what was happening, murky water cascaded from the ceiling. 
The club was dissolving into chaos. Matthew snapped out of his reverie, and looked around for Taryn. 
“I have to find my sister,” he told her.
As Jessie's face was illuminated by the flashing lights, she looked stricken and worried. 
“I’ll call you, though!” he promised.
“But -” she watched him run off, knowing she hadn't given him her number. She didn't even know his last name. 
“Jessie!” Roger yelled from somewhere to her left. Her eyes roved for him, and landed when he shouted again, waving his cell phone flashlight in his own face.
She ran to him, and they followed the swarming crowd outside. 
To her complete surprise, smoke was pouring out of the building and the fire department was pulling up. She had been certain someone had pulled the alarm as a prank. 
“Fuck it’s cold out here,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, as if that would do any good. Her coat was inside, a pair of wool tights tucked in one of the pockets. She'd planned to put them on in the bathroom before they left. 
“We should call it,” Lacey said. “Catch the next train. If we hurry we won't have to wait for another one.”
“But my coat’s in there,” Jessie complained. She hadn't made it, but she may as well have, she’d altered it so much. It was the best thing in her wardrobe. 
“We’ll come back tomorrow,” Roger assured, “but Lacey’s right, we should get out of here. We’re soaked and it’s below freezing.”
It wasn't just the coat. She didn’t want to lose Matthew. She hoped she might run into him in the parking lot, but had yet to see him.   
Roger and Lacey were right. Her wet clothing was already starting to freeze - stiffening and biting into her skin. Glancing around the crowd once more, she hoped she might see him, but there were too many people moving in too many different directions. 
As Roger pulled her away, she hoped against hope the universe would bring them back together. It had been so long since she'd felt a spark like she had with him.
“Who was that girl you were kissing at midnight?” Taryn asked, her tone suggestive as she waggled her eyebrows at her oldest brother. 
“Her name is Jessie,” he said, looking around for Brady. He finally spotted him with Emma and some of the Sens guys across the parking lot. 
“Seemed pretty serious.”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “We got on, that’s all.” 
“I’ve seen you look like that before, and that was not just getting on with someone,” Taryn argued. “I hope you got her number.” 
“I did,” he assured, then stopped dead in their pursuit through the crowd. 
Taryn ran into his back. “Matthew!” she complained. 
He was too busy digging his phone out of his pocket to apologize or move out of the way. Thankfully, it wasn’t ruined. As he opened his recent contacts, though, he found his fear confirmed. 
Taryn pushed on his back, “Matthew, move! I wanna get inside.” 
The older brother in him took control, wrapping his arm around Taryn's shoulder to lead them to Brady and finally into the car to go home. 
As they settled into the SUV, heat blasting to melt the ice that had formed in their hair and on their cheeks, Emma punched Matthew in the arm. “That was some New Year's kiss, Matty.” 
The disappointment of reality bit into him, and he snapped, “I don’t want to talk about it.” 
“Whoa,” Brady said in warning. 
Matthew leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. The possibility of her was still buzzing on his skin. 
The future was being ripped out of his grasp. How could so much hope be dashed so quickly? So completely? He'd been making plans in his head. Immediately, where they were going to spend the night if she was willing. Beyond that, how he would see her whenever he was in New York, and beyond that? Hopefully something that ended up with them together. 
“Oh no,” Taryn whispered, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. “You didn’t get her number did you?” 
He shook his head. 
“Oh, Matthew,” Taryn said, laying a hand on his back, “I’m sorry.” 
The rest of the night, he lay in Brady’s guest bedroom, Taryn in the bed next to his, and tried to relax. It wasn’t working. He could still feel the phantom of her grinding up against him, and if he thought about it too much, he got hard. 
Opening Instagram, he typed “Jessie” into the search. There were pages and pages of results. He scrolled through, hoping he might see her face. When the photos started to blur together, he clicked off the app. 
Feeling hopeless, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Jessie’s face was etched on the inside of his eyelids. He saw her smiling, heard her laugh ringing in his ears, felt her lips so perfectly fitted between his own. They should have been tangled up in bed together. The actuality of his loneliness was a slap in the face every time he turned over. 
It was after four when he finally fell asleep.
He woke sometime around 10am when Taryn sat by his feet. 
“Mom wants to know why you’re still in bed,” she said when he sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. “I told her you were hungover.” 
“Thanks,” he said dryly.  
“Listen, I heard you last night.” 
His hands dropped and he gave her a suspicious look. “And what did you hear last night?” 
She took a deep breath. “I heard you crying.” 
A groan fell out of his mouth as his head tipped back. He didn’t even try to deny it. It hadn’t lasted long, the crying, but he hadn’t been able to stop it for a few minutes. He was sure Taryn heard his sniffling. 
“Is this about that girl?” 
“Listen, Taryn, I don’t want to -” 
She cut in, “Matthew, I saw the way you looked after you kissed her. It’s the same way Brady looks at Emma.”
Shit. He was in deeper than he thought. And they hadn’t even slept together yet. He didn’t even know her last name. If he knew her last name, he’d be able to find her. 
Letting his hands fall in his lap, he slouched over, and let the reality of what happened wash over him again. He would get over it eventually, but now? It felt too close to push aside. 
Taryn’s hand came to rest on his knee, “I was thinking, what if she left something at the club? I mean, people must have left coats and things with the fire alarm. We could at least try. See if you can leave your number for her, or something.” 
A spark of hope flickered to life in his chest. “Yeah, that’s a really good idea.” 
Jessie wasn’t too surprised to see the tent in front of the club when they pulled up. The post on their Instagram page said they would be available for people to pick up their belongings all day. Two women were sitting there, bundled up to the hilt. As she got closer, she saw the propane heaters. At least that was something. 
“How can we help you, darlin?” 
“Yeah, I was here last night, and I hoped I could get my coat that I left with the coat check?” 
One of the women stood, “what does it look like?” 
“It’s a black wool trench, and it has sort of wavy lapels,” she demonstrated on herself. “There’s a pair of gray wool tights in the left pocket.” 
She walked over to a rack behind their table.
The Club had seen better days, that was for sure. Some of the glass had been blown out from the heat, and there were charred bricks on the front from where the flames had licked out the windows. 
“Is it condemned?” 
“No, but it’ll take us a while to remodel, especially with the winter,” the other woman said, giving her a smile. 
“Did they find out what caused it?” 
“Not yet, but we’re pretty sure it was some faulty wiring.” 
“Here we go. Is this it?” The other woman, the one with pink hair, turned the coat around. 
Jessie smiled, relieved, “Yes.”
As she reached for the coat, she debated about the next part. What was the harm really? She knew she would be kicking herself all the way home if she didn’t. 
“I know this is a little strange, but I met someone last night, but we were separated before we could exchange numbers, and I wondered if he’d come by?” 
“I’m not sure. We’ve seen quite a few people today.”
“His name was Matthew, and he had curly hair, light eyes, and he was tall.” 
They looked at each other, each shaking their head. “I don’t think we’ve seen anyone like that today.”
She wasn’t sure what she would have done if they had. 
“Do you want to leave a note for him, or something?” 
She chewed on her lip, petting the smoke soaked coat draped over her arm. If he happened to come by, it might work. But what if he didn’t? Or what if some other guy with curly hair came by, and they gave him her note? 
She shouldn’t have even asked. It was fruitless. What did she expect? That he would just walk out of the building: here I am! 
“No,” she said, defeated. “I was just hoping.”
“Well, love has a way of coming back when you least expect it.” 
It felt like such a throw-away thing to say. “Yeah, I hope so,” Jessie said, turning back to her parents' car, parked in the lot.  
Matthew walked up to the women sitting in front of the club. He knew he was used to the Florida warmth by now, and just despised the cold on principle, but sitting out here? In this? They were nuts. 
“Hi, honey,” the older, motherly looking one greeted, “did you leave something here last night?” 
Yeah, my future, he thought. 
“No, I was hoping,” he reached up to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, I met someone here last night and I was -” 
“Are you Matthew?” the other woman interrupted. 
His eyes shot to hers. “Yeah,” he said, breathless with anticipation. 
“Oh no,” the women looked at each other. One had her hand over her mouth. 
“Someone was just here looking for you.” 
Hope started hammering in his chest. 
“Pretty little thing, lovely red hair.” 
“Yeah,” his heart was running so fast he felt like he might be sick. 
“I’m so sorry honey, we asked her if she wanted to leave a note or something, but she decided not to.” 
Now he really was going to throw up. 
They had been so close. So close to meeting again. Why hadn’t she left a note? Why didn’t he just get her number last night? 
Because he’d planned on asking her for it in the morning. 
“Well, thanks anyway,” he said, hand falling limply at his side. 
“Good luck. I hope she finds her way back to you.” 
“Thanks,” he said, turning back to the car. Taryn was watching with rapt anticipation. He shook his head and her expression fell. 
**Nine Months Later**
For the first time since moving, the bright Florida sunshine didn't make Jessie smile as she got out of bed. That September morning, she woke up to an anxious fluttering in her chest, trying to tell herself it was going to be a day like any other. She would go to the shop and sew that new sculptural blazer for the window. She'd help Raul with his clients and do the same things she’d been doing every other work day for the past three months. 
It didn’t matter that some of the Florida professional hockey team were coming in for suits for the new season. She’d already checked, and there wasn’t a Matthew on the books. 
Even if he did show up, he had probably moved on. It was just her romantic streak that kept him alive in her memory. 
After a few miserable, sulky hours on New Year's Day, Roger had finally suggested she look him up. 
“I don’t know his last name, Roge.” 
“Didn’t you say he plays hockey in Florida?” he’d asked, pulling out his phone. He found a roster for her to look through - all men in blue, none of them Matthew. There wasn’t even a Matthew on the team. 
“I think it’s hopeless,” she said. 
“Hold on, there’s another one.”
“Another what?” 
“Another team.” 
“Here, I think this is him?” he turned the phone around and Matthew was staring at her, a smug little smile on his face. 
Her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were blue. And his hair was a dark blonde, with almost a gingery tone to it. 
“Matthew Tkachuk?” she asked, trying to pronounce all the letters. It came out a bit of a garbled mess. 
“Look him up on Insta.” 
So she had. She found him easily. He was verified with over 150 thousand followers. 
She messaged him, hoping. 
Hey this is Jessie from last night before the fire stole our thunder. 
He’d never even seen her message. She had checked every day for a while, then every couple of weeks until she'd all but forgotten about it, moving on with her life. 
Pulling out her phone now, she scrolled down to the thread. The date was still staring at her, no read notifications in sight. 
Matthew wasn't even all that great. That’s what she told herself every time she went on another failed date with some guy so boring she wanted to just drop off the chair and fall asleep on the bar floor. If she let herself believe he really was as charming and interested and built just for her as he’d seemed, she would never go on another set up or app date again. It had been the alcohol and the rush of the new year that had painted him in such rosy light. It was likely he was just another boring dude like all the rest. 
The pink lace she put on under her clothes before going to work was for her, and she wasn’t hoping anyone would get to see it. 
She absorbed herself with structuring the new women’s blazer all morning until the appointment at 2. 
Matthew wasn’t entirely certain why he’d agreed to go with Benny that afternoon. He already had a suit guy in St. Louis. He didn’t need another one. But Sam was persuasive, a few other guys were going, and Matthew was always looking for something new. When you have to wear the same item of clothing over and over again, might as well make it something interesting. 
Walking into the little shop, he could see why Sam liked it. There were racks and racks of interesting fabrics. Subtle and bold patterns and solid colors he never would have considered for a suit before. 
As the other guys got to browsing, Matthew wandered over to the wall of photos. In every one, a short, dark haired man was posing with various people in beautiful suits. Sam was up there as were Barky and Bob. He didn’t know they came here too. Apparently, this was the place to be. 
Something rustled in the back, and he turned. Nothing was there, but a glass cabinet that housed a display of cufflinks. 
“Matthew?” 
His head shot up. 
A pretty young woman who wasn't in any of the photos was standing in the doorway behind the display case, holding up the heavy velvet curtain. He could see a row of sewing machines under her arm. She had on a blue skirt and a green blouse. A fabric flower was attached to her wrist, a porcupine of pins sticking out of it. 
His breath locked in his chest. She was here. In Florida. She was in front of him. The girl from the New Years Eve party he couldn’t quite convince himself to let go of for half a season and the whole summer. 
Her hair was shorter than it had been - ending at her collar bone - and a dark auburn red. He supposed it had probably always been that color. She had creamy pale skin with a dusting of freckles across her nose, and shit, had her eyes always been that green? 
He’d never seen her out of that harsh club lighting, he realized. Of course she would be prettier in the daylight. 
The murmuring behind him hushed into silence, and his mind went completely blank, as if he’d never had a thought in his life. 
“Hey,” he heard himself say. The shock of seeing her was so intense, he couldn’t remember her name. He’d just been thinking about her last week after another failed third date.
Sam shot him a questioning look.  
He was in shock. He was overwhelmed. He was… he was… he was acting like an idiot. 
His heart thundered in his ears. She was looking at him like she was trying to figure out if he remembered who she was. 
“Jessie,” she said hesitantly, pointing to her chest. “From New Years?”
Didn’t he remember? His face was branded into her memory. The dream of him - of them - roared to life in her chest unbidden. Her body reacted instantly, as if no time had passed. 
Right. Jessie, Jessie, Jessie, he thought.
Cool. He needed to play this cool. “Oh, hey,” he said. “How’ve you been?” 
As soon as it was out of his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Hope fell right off her face. He saw the moment it happened, and it sliced through him like a knife to the gut. 
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 
She wasn’t some old acquaintance he hadn’t seen in a while. She was the girl he kept coming back to. The one he thought about after failed dates or that relationship that started at the beginning of the summer only to fizzle out six weeks later. She was his, it might have been, girl.
The man walked in then, forcing her into the shop. “Ah, I see you have met Jessica. She just graduated from FIT in New York,” he bragged, “and is helping us expand into womens suiting. She’s also a marvelous tailor, so she’ll be helping with the suits as well. Jessica, these are the clients I was telling you about. From the ice hockey team. Good clients. They like interesting things.” 
She painted a smile on her face that almost looked convincing. “I can’t wait to help.” 
“You,” Raul said, “I don't know you.”
“Matthew,” he said, holding a hand out to the older Italian man. “Sam said you make the best suits on the eastern seaboard.”
Raul pulled out the leather bound book that served as his ledger, and flipped to the section Jessie had been looking at that morning, simply marked, Hockey.
“Last name?” he asked. 
He spelled it out, then pronounced it, “Tkachuk. The T is silent.” 
Raul nodded, noting the silent letter next to his name. 
“Jessica and I will take your measurements,” he said, gesturing him over to the plinth near the mirrors surrounded by dark wood. 
Jessie picked up a notebook and followed Raul. Matthew had definitely recognised her, he’d been shocked by her appearance, even. Then he treated her like…like a one night stand or an acquaintance he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to reunite with. It hurt more than it should have to have the things she was telling herself come true. 
She had hoped Raul would let her help the other clients, but luck seemed to be against her. At least he hadn’t handed her the tape. She didn’t know what she would have done if  her hands brushed against Matthew’s body. She already felt on edge just being in the same room as him. 
“Very important to get the thigh measurement with these hockey players,” Raul was saying as he threaded a measuring tape around Matthews upper thigh. “Big legs.” 
“It’s from all the skating,” Matthew said, almost out of habit. 
Jessie was doing a very good job of not looking at him. She had a little notebook in her hands and she kept her eyes trained on it as she wrote down every body part and corresponding number Raul called out. Upper thigh, lower thigh, calf, hip to knee, knee to ankle. Matthew had been measured like this before, so he just stood still and let the man do his work. 
“So, Jessie, right?” Josh asked, leaning onto one of the mirrors, nearby where she was standing, not quite in Matthew’s peripheral vision. 
She hummed in agreement. Raul was still calling out numbers to her, and she couldn’t divide her focus that well. 
“What brought you all the way down to Florida from New York?” 
Matthew clenched his jaw to keep from telling Josh off. As much as he wanted it, he didn’t have any claim over Jessie.
“Um,” she said, still jotting numbers. She spared a glance at him. He had long, unruly, dark hair, dark eyes, and a goofy smile. She smiled back, “can you give me just a minute to finish up here?” she asked, pointing at Matthew’s stomach with the cap of her pen. 
Josh blushed, “yeah, of course.” 
She went back to her notebook, face impassive once more. 
Josh stayed where he was. 
“So Chucky, what do you think about the schedule this year?” 
Matthew shrugged, then snapped himself back into place at Rauls reprimand. “Sorry,” he mumbled. 
Jessie gagged internally. hoping that wasn’t really his nickname. Chucky was either a possessed doll, or a possessed rat mascot, neither of which she liked to think about for very long. 
They continued to talk about something with their team. When she and Raul finished, she handed the notebook off to him, which he would transcribe into the ledger. He still didn’t trust her to do it the way he liked. 
Matthew didn’t move off the plinth, but she turned to the other man, “sorry, what was your question?” 
She sounded so polite, so formal. Sure, they’d only met that one night, but she hadn’t been guarded like this at that club in Ottawa. He supposed that was probably his fault. God, why was he such an idiot?
“I wondered what brought you to Florida. It’s a long way from New York.” 
“Oh, the heat,” she said. “I was so tired of the north-east cold.”
“And you know Raul…”
“He and one of my mentors are great friends, and he got us in touch. I have some family down here, and wanted to live somewhere warm for a change. Raul wanted to expand into some womenswear, and tailoring happens to be one of my specialties.” She said it without much emotion. Just stating the facts. “We met, I made him and myself a suit to audition, and here we are.” 
Matthew opened his mouth to say something about how he was glad she was here, but she walked away before he could force the words out. 
Josh gave him a look that said something like, women, right? 
Matthew walked away before he said something stupid.
“While I update the rest of your measurements, Jessica can help you with fabrics. She’s excellent with color. Jessica, why don���t you get the samples and help them pick out what they need.” 
She nodded, went into the back and came out with five big binders. She set them on the table, and flipped some of them open. 
She helped Reino pick out a dark teal, a blue and a few subtle plaids before moving on to someone else. 
Matthew was the last at the table. 
“What are you looking for?” she asked, trying to keep her voice and demeanor level. No need to let him know how her heart still pounded just looking at him when it was so obvious he didn’t care about her. 
“I'm always looking for something interesting,” he said. “What would you suggest?” 
Her eyes darted up to his face. His eyes were so blue - much more intense in person. He had the kind of eyes poets say hold summer skies and glacial lakes. It was the first time she really saw them, and they took her breath away. 
“Well,” she forced herself back to work, “you could pull off almost anything with your coloring. How adventurous are you?” 
“I’m willing to try anything once,” he said, trying to sound flirtatious. It just came off desperate. 
She chewed on the inside of her lip. “How many suits are you looking for?” 
“Eight,” he said. 
He didn’t need eight suits. But if it kept him at this table for longer, he would buy as many as she would sell him. 
“All for here?” 
“For here?”
“To be worn here, in Florida? The others have mentioned needing some for travel.”
“Oh, I’ll need three or four for travel, three at least for the cold.” 
They talked through colors. She opened a binder she hadn’t given anyone else. None of the other guys were as handsome, or seemed as adventurous with their style as Matthew. 
“If you’re brave enough, I think this lilac would look really good on you,” she said, pulling the pastel fabric sample off the board and holding it up. He was more bronze than he had been when they’d met, but it would still look good when his summer tan faded. 
“Okay,” he said. He trusted her style. He’d never worn lilac, but if she thought it would look good, he’d give it a shot.
Jessie got the feeling he was just agreeing with her to get this whole thing over with. Still, she couldn’t help pulling the best fabrics for him, even an expensive light blue linen blend that would make him look like Brad Pitt in Santorini. He didn't balk when she mentioned the price. He didn't even seem to notice. 
“Chucky, how did you know Jessie?” Bennet said as they walked down the block to the public parking they’d all met at. 
“A party,” he said, trying to sound non-committal. 
People got into their cars, but before Matthew could leave, Benny came up to his driver's window. “You wanna tell us what’s going on?” 
“You’re never this quiet,” Reino said from his place on Benny’s left. 
Matthew sighed and got out of the car. This was going to take a while. Sam had always been a bit of a brother to him and he knew he wouldn’t let him go without an explanation. 
“Jessie and I met last New Years Eve,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the hood of his car. 
“Okay, and what did you do? Hookup and never call her again?” 
“No!” He sounded too defensive, even to his own ears. 
Reino raised an eyebrow, “so what happened?” 
His hands raked into his hair so he didn't have to look at them as he told the story. “We met at this club in Ottawa, and we had this amazing connection. I've never felt anything like it before. Like, boom: Instant chemistry.” It felt even worse to say it out loud. 
Both guys just waited. 
“But the club caught fire.” 
“Wait, what?” Benny asked. “Really?”
“I know, man,” Matthew said, throwing his hands up, “and I thought I had her number, so I left her to find Taryn, but I didn’t, and I couldn't find her after. I didn’t think I was ever going to see her again, and then, all of a sudden she was here,” he gestured in the direction of the shop, “and I just…” 
“Fucked it?” Benny asked. 
“Yeah.” 
“So go back and talk to her,” Reino said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. 
He scoffed. “What would I say? ‘Hey, sorry I completely forgot your name and treated you like our connection didn't matter, but I actually haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for the past nine months?’” 
“Better than not saying anything,” Benny said. 
Matthew shook his head, “I can’t go back in there.” 
“Why not?” 
“You didn’t see her face. There’s no way she wants to talk to me.” 
A few weeks later, Jessie was piecing Matthew’s jacket from the blue linen in the back of the shop. The fabric was so light and delicate, she couldn’t even have music going while working with it. One wrong move and there would be pulled threads all over the place. She knew Raul would disapprove, but she gave herself twice the seam allowance to make sure she could finish the inside raw edges. Otherwise the fabric would start to pull apart - eventually, quite literally, fraying at the seams. 
“Uh, hello?” someone asked. 
She jumped and dropped the scissors. She let them clatter to the floor with a curse. She’d been so focused on the task at hand, she hadn’t heard the bell ring. 
“One second,” she called, before securing her pattern with an extra pin, picking up the scissors and coming out to the sales floor. 
“Hi, sorry about that. I got kind of in the zone. What can I do for you?” 
It was one of the hockey guys. The one with strawberry hair. She couldn’t help but glance around him to see if he’d brought anyone with him. 
She shouldn’t even be looking for Matthew, especially considering he'd ignored all of her phone calls about his suiting. All the same, seeing him again had awoken her longing in a way she couldn’t quite tamp down. 
“Raul said I had some suits he wanted me to try on,” he said. 
She asked his name, then went to the back to retrieve the garment bag. She remembered this one. She’d convinced him an oxblood red wouldn’t look too harsh with his coloring, and she was hoping he would like the results. 
Giving him a pair of pants, she left him in the changing room while she cut extra threads on the inside of the jacket.
Immediately, she could see the pants were a smidge too loose. They talked about his preferred fit, and he avoided looking at her as she pinned the inner thigh. All men reacted this way, but to Jessie, this was all about the garment. As far as she was concerned, he was a mannequin under these clothes. 
Finally, the questions that had been ruminating in her mind got the best of her. “So, did Matthew get traded or something?” 
“Chucky?” he asked, surprised.  
“I guess so.” 
“No,” he was laughing as he said it, “he has seven more years on his contract.”
“Oh.” 
“Why?” 
“I’ve just called him a few times about measurements, or fittings, and he’s never called back or come in.”
“Really? He told me he was here yesterday.” 
Of course he was coming in on her day off. Why had she even told him that in the message?
She stood up, and moved onto the jacket after asking him if he ever planned to wear it with a sweater. He wasn’t sure. Or if she should shorten the sleeves. He liked them a little longer. 
“Chucky told us what happened in Ottawa,” he said. 
Jessie felt her shoulders tense, but kept working. “Yeah?” she asked, not daring to look up. All this still felt too close to the surface, and she didn’t want this man she barely knew to know how much it had hurt when Matthew brushed her aside. 
“Yeah, he said he looked for you after the fire.” 
“I tried to stay, but my cousins and I were soaking wet and it was below freezing so we had to catch the train.” 
“He said he went back the next day and you’d been there, but didn’t leave a note.” 
That made Jessie gasp. Audibly. She blushed and tried to brush it off, “I was worried it might go to the wrong person,” she said, “plus I messaged him on Instagram and he never responded.” 
He hummed, debating the best way to approach this. He wanted to do some digging without letting on that’s what he was doing. “He said you guys had quite the connection.” 
Was she really going to go into this with one of his teammates? She hadn’t talked to anyone about it but Roger. Words bubbled up into her mouth so fast, she guessed she was. 
“Yeah, we did.” God, why did she have to sound so moony?
“Do you think there’s still something there?” 
“He made it pretty obvious there’s not.” 
“I don’t think he meant to do that. He was pretty shocked to see you.”
“I was shocked to see him too, but I didn’t just brush him aside.” 
“Listen, Jessie - it’s Jessie, right?”
She nodded.
“Matthew can be pretty thick. He gets so in his head, sometimes he doesn’t really think things through, but he told us what happened, and how much he liked you, and he said he fucked it and you wouldn’t want to see him again.”
She hummed, and got him a new suit to try on. She’d been right. The oxblood did look killer on him, like he could be in a GQ shoot. He looked impressed. 
“Would you want to see him again?” Sam asked. 
“If he came in here himself?”
He nodded. 
“I’d at least give him a chance.” 
Even though she would usually just move on, she’d never felt anything like the instant connection she and Matthew shared on New Years. It was the kind of thing she thought only existed in books and rom coms. Experiencing it in real life made it into something she couldn’t just walk away from.  
They talked about where they were from and made comfortable small talk for the duration of the fitting. She told him how relieved she was when Raul trusted her enough to run the shop by herself one day a week. 
“Listen, I’ll tell Chucky to come by next Wednesday. We’re leaving for the opening roadie that day, but I’ll try to get his head out of his ass before then.” 
She giggled. 
He could see why Matthew liked her, and could see how their personalities would match up well. She was kind and easy to talk to - quiet at first, but got louder as she got comfortable, and Chucky was just loud all the time. He could tell they both valued relationships more than things. 
The next week, after their final practice before the season opening road trip, Benny cornered Matthew in his stall. “You need to go see Jessie.”
“She doesn't want to talk to me, man.”
“The way she asked me about you last week would say otherwise.”
He scoffed. 
“I told her you still like her -”
“You what?!”
“She brought you up first, and you weren't doing shit, so don’t tell me I'm ruining your plans or some bull. She said she's called you a bunch of times, but you only show up when she's not there.”
“It's just easier,” Matthew mumbled. It wasn't his fault she told him when she'd be gone.
Benny rolled his eyes. “Dude, wake up. She still likes you.” 
Matthew looked at him, skeptical, “she told you that?” 
“Yes, but she didn’t need to. The first thing she asked me was if you’d been traded. We weren’t even talking about you.”
 A ridiculous amount of hope lit up his face.
“I knew it! You still like her too!”
What’s not to like? Matthew thought.
“She runs the shop on Wednesdays. Just go talk to her.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I went there last Wednesday, dumbass. She told me.” 
Matthew hesitated, still unconvinced. 
“Go. Now. I’ll drive you myself if I have to. I’m sick and tired of you moping around when there’s such an easy solution to your problem.”
“Okay, okay. I’m going,” Matthew said, holding his hands up in defeat. 
“And check your instagram. She said she sent you a message.” 
Usually when she walked onto the sales floor after the doorbell dinged, Jessie would have to search for someone among the racks of fabric samples and ready to be tailored suits. This time, a man was standing at the counter, watching her with the same determined intensity he’d shown the first time they met.
He was here. Finally. Four of his suits had been sitting in the storage room for more than a week, further proof that he was avoiding her. 
“Hi Matthew,” she greeted hesitantly. 
“Hey Jessie.”
They looked at each other in awkward silence for a moment. 
“Can I help you with something?” 
“Yeah, Raul told me some of the suits were ready?”
“They are.”
“I just came to pick those up.” 
“Oh,” the tiny spark of hope fizzled out again. Sam must not have made it through to him. 
She looked instantly downcast. 
To hell with it. He couldn't make any more of an ass of himself. “And I wanted to see you,” he blurted.
“You wanted to see…me?” she repeated, pulling a pen from her ponytail to start fiddling with it. He didn’t know why, but it struck him as such an endearing gesture. 
“Yeah,” he said, heart falling. Was Sam setting him up? He was a prankster, but not to this level, usually. Not when it was this important. 
“Why would you want to see me?” she asked, feeling that guard go up. Every time she got her hopes up about Matthew, he tore them down.
Thoughts raced through his mind. He could lie so easily, but where would that get him? It was time to just own up and blurt it out. Her reaction be damned. “Because I really like you.”
She looked surprised. Way more surprised than he’d expected. “I thought you didn’t remember.”
“How could I forget?” he asked. “I thought you must hate me since I forgot your name and acted like such an ass that first day.”
Shaking her head, Jessie wondered how on earth they got into this situation. “I mean, I was disappointed, but then, you backed it up by never coming to the shop when I was working, I thought you must be trying to avoid me.”
“I was.”
One of her eyebrows shot up.
“Not like that,” he floundered. “Like, I couldn’t stand to see you and remember how well we got on, and how much I like you, and how pretty you are when I knew I'd blown my chance and you hated me.”
She let out a laugh. “That makes no sense. What did I ever do to make you think I hated you? I called you every time something was finished, or we needed a new measurement. I gave you the best fabric selections.”
Had that been because she liked him? “I don’t know, it did in my brain. I guess I was so embarrassed I forgot your name when I like you so much, I was telling myself you must be angry with me.”
Jessie rolled her eyes. “You know, Matthew, for someone so smart, you can be pretty dumb.” 
“You think I’m smart?” He’d been called many things in his life, but smart was rarely one of them. 
“Yes. I think you’re very smart, except when it comes to romance, I guess.” 
He chuffed a laugh, grabbing the back of his neck. “I really fucked this one up, didn’t I?” 
“I don’t know,” she said, trying to be cool and hoping against hope that this last shot would land on target. If it didn’t, she was kicking him out and scrubbing him from all her memories. “I think you might still have a chance.” 
His eyes snapped to hers. “Yeah?” 
She nodded. 
Heart pounding, but trying to keep that flirty, cool skin on, he walked around the counter to remove the barrier between them. 
Knowing he still liked her brought all those feelings from the club rushing back. She’d never felt like that with anyone else. If only he knew how many times she’d replayed that night. How many times she remembered how he felt and how no one had ever kissed her like that, or swept her off her feet so quickly.
“Play your cards right,” she said, feeling breathless with the nearness of him. “And I think you might get another chance at bat.”
As he leaned in closer, her pupils dilated, and her eyes darted to his mouth. He licked his lips just to see her force her eyes back to his like last time. Her blush was even more adorable in the daylight.
“If I swing, what are my odds of getting a home run?” 
She laughed. It didn’t break the spell. It turned out that palpable chemistry was still between them, just waiting to be ignited. Their eye contact was hot and glued together.
“Maybe not today,” she said, “but I think it’s a safe bet that you’ll get on base.” 
Time moved in slow motion as he leaned in further, looking at her mouth, then her neck, then her cleavage, barely visible through the two undone buttons of her starched, white shirt, before snapping back to hers as she stopped him with a hand pressed tightly to his chest.  
“We can’t do this here. There are cameras on the floor,” she said. 
His head dropped forward in defeat. “I have to leave for Vegas in two hours,” he said, feeling more than a bit desperate. “I really don’t want to wait until I’m back.” 
“I don’t want to either, but I’m telling you, if Raul catches me making out with a client, I’m going to be out on my ass.” 
“So what do we do?”
She thought for a moment before an idea struck her. “Follow me.” 
She made a big show of walking into the back, digging his new lilac suit out of the garment bag and hanging it in the private dressing room. “You go in there. When I come back and ask you how it’s fitting, you need to tell me something needs to be adjusted and invite me in, okay?” 
“Right. Yeah, okay.” 
She put out the sign that said she would return soon and locked the front door. It wasn’t that unusual to lock up when they were helping a high profile client, anyway. Plus, Wednesdays were always the slowest day of the week, hence why she was allowed to man the shop alone. She just hoped Raul wouldn’t have any reason to review the tapes. 
Her whole chest felt like it was full of helium as she walked back to him. Were they really about to do this? 
“Everything going okay in there?” she asked. 
“Something’s wrong with this suit jacket,” he said. “Can you come take a look?” 
Upon entering, she found Matthew with his shirt already off.
Sweet Jesus, she was not prepared for that. For his sculpted body, and his chest hair, that tapered into a thin trail running down the center of his abs before it dipped enticingly into the waistband of his pants. 
“That’s not fair,” she said. 
“What’s not fair?” he reached for her and drew her to him, hands splaying over her waist.
“You’re already half naked,” she said, eyes wandering down his chest again. 
“You could be too,” he teased, playfully pulling at the shirt tucked into her waistband. He didn’t actually pull any of the fabric loose, which she appreciated. He was letting her set the pace.
“Damn, Jessie. You’re the only woman I know who can make a pant suit look sexy.” 
She laughed, and pulled the whole shirt over her head, leaving her in a white camisole, a black lace bra peeking out from underneath it. 
“Do you always wear black lingerie to work?” he asked, voice gone husky as he ran a finger under one of the straps. 
“Only when I think you might come in.” 
His eyes snapped to hers, thrilled but questioning. 
“Sam told me he was going to try to get you to come by today.”
“So this really is for me?” he felt dizzy with the prospect.
“No. It’s for me. I put it on this morning, thinking that at the very least if you came in and you were an ass again, you wouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing how hot I look in my bra,” she said, before stripping off the camisole so he could see exactly how hot she looked in her bra. 
Seeing her, in black suit pants, a gold belt buckle flashing at her waist, and her sheer, floral lace bra that plunged between her breasts, the breath was sucked out of his lungs. 
His ongoing ache for her intensified, pressing insistently against the confines of his jeans. 
He stepped toward her when she once again stopped his progress with a hand to the chest. “I really like you, Matthew,” she said, swooning a little at the happiness that lit up his face, “but I was serious. I don't want to have sex.” 
“Can you define that a little more?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Like you don't want oral sex, or…” 
She wouldn't have guessed oral sex would even be on the table. She practically had to beg past boyfriends for it. 
“I mean I don't want to have penetrative sex. The first time with someone new is hard enough. I don't want to make it more complicated by taking a bed out of the equation.” 
“I get that. Plus, it'll give me something to look forward to when I get back,” he said with a grin and a cheeky wink. 
God, maybe they really were made for each other. 
As his left hand slipped to the back of her neck, the other spread over her rib cage, thumb brushing against the soft lace that cupped her breast. 
She sucked in a breath, letting her hand ghost up his torso over the ridges and valleys, until her fingers hooked over his shoulder. The other slid around to his back.
It felt like it had been a million years since they’d last done this. Not the touching, not the skin to skin, which felt like…it felt like heaven, but the longing. 
Jessie was looking at him with that same hope and lust in her eyes. It made his stomach twist with that same wanting to fulfill them both. 
It was so long coming, he wanted to savor every movement, every breath, every glance. Her eyes were so green. Somehow even more green up close. 
Finally, when their lips met, she sighed, melting against him. 
This was all together more intense and less hurried than their first kiss had been. It was a slow burn, a thorough seduction, a fulfillment of everything Matthew had been dreaming of that night they lost each other. 
When he pulled away, their heavy breaths crashed together. 
Fingertips sliding up her back, he tried to memorize the feel of her. Her skin was so soft. 
Jessie was growing impatient. Any other moment, she would love this slow seduction. Most of the time she felt like men moved too fast. Today though, she had so much sexual frustration built up for him that the weight of desire was already heavy between her legs. 
Taking matters into her own hands, she leaned in and trailed her mouth along his jaw before nipping the soft spot behind it, just under his ear. He shuddered when she soothed it with her tongue. 
“I’ve been dreaming of this for so long,” she confessed, barely above a whisper.
That snapped him into action. Taking her waist, he pulled her flush to him, and crushed his mouth to hers. 
There was the passion she’d been looking for. 
As they surged together, she felt so restless and turned on, she tried to hook a knee over his hip in an attempt to slot him between her legs. 
Groaning against her, his hand slid over her rear and down her leg to keep it elevated and wrapped around him. 
Kissing her was so much better than he remembered. How was that possible? She was so good in his dreams. In reality, she was living - flesh and bone and wanting - and he couldn’t get enough. 
Moving to her neck, he sucked her pulse point. He felt her tremble against him, but her hand still came up to pull him back to her mouth. “Nothing visible, okay? I have to go back to work.” 
He nodded and caught her lips. It might be too late for that one, but he wouldn’t do it again. 
Her desire was a wildfire, consuming every part of her. It wanted to consume him, too. 
When she tucked two of her fingers behind the button of his jeans, a moan fell into her mouth. 
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” 
She tore the zipper down, and palmed him through his boxers. His hips jumped into her hand as a moan ripped from his throat.
His fingers fumbled to her belt buckle and paused. 
“Please,” she whimpered. 
He was clumsy with desperation and the distraction of her kissing and biting his neck, but he finally got it open and her pants undone. 
The weight of the buckle sunk the waistband to the floor with a heavy clink, and Jessie stepped out of it, kicking off her shoes at the same time. Sinking her hand into his pants, she shoved them down his muscular legs. 
He nearly fell over in his attempt to get out of his shoes so he could free himself from the shackle of the fabric around his ankles. 
Jessie giggled, and moved with him as he stepped away. He finally got his first look at her in her underwear. Made of some fabric he couldn’t name, they were also black and cut high on her hip. He could see it was a thong in the mirrored wall behind her. 
His jaw grew heavy with longing, but managed to make his mouth work enough to tell her, “you’re so beautiful, Jessie.”
“Thank you. I think you’re really handsome.” she said, running a hand down his chest. And he was - he could be a living sculpture in the Greek wing of the Louvre with his curly hair and sculpted body. 
Sliding his hands over her hips, he pulled her to him once more. He hesitated for a moment, and Jessie took charge, too impatient to wait. “Matthew?” 
“Hmm?” 
“I really appreciate you getting my consent, I really, really do, but you can just move forward. I’ll tell you if I don’t like something.” 
“Okay.” 
She captured his mouth again and the fire roared to life between them, stoked hotter by so much skin touching skin. 
Sneaking his fingers into the waistband of her panties, he pushed them down, trusting that she would stop him if she wanted to.
She didn’t want him to. 
His fingers traced back up her leg and when he stroked her, she broke from the kiss to let her head lull forward onto his shoulder. Her panting breaths were the stuff of his dreams. She was already so wet, and he wanted nothing more than to bring her pleasure. 
“Oh,” she moaned when he explored more, running a couple of rough fingers from her entrance to her throbbing bundle of nerves. She rocked into his hand, and he took the hint, caressing her over and over again until she was trembling and moaning. 
“Matthew,” her voice was wrecked: desperate and thick with longing. 
“What do you need?” 
“Your fingers,” she begged, “inside me.” 
He obeyed, following the rhythm she set. Pressing the pad of his thumb to her clit, a wicked, self satisfied smile took over his face as her head tipped back, and her breath hitched. 
“Oh,” she moaned, “just like that.” Her hands slid to his arms, clinging to his biceps. 
He wanted to eat her pleasure for breakfast - sustain himself with it on long, lonely nights. He knew he would dream of her voice and all her little sounds through the whole ten days away, anxious to come back to the very actual reality of her. He kept having to remind himself this wasn’t a dream.
He rutted against her thigh in an attempt to pacify some of his own lust. 
Body shaking, she cried out. 
Matthew continued to stroke and leaned in, kissing her right through her orgasm.
Feeling her core pulse around him again and again, the release was so long coming, it seemed to go on forever.
As her breathing finally slowed, he eased his fingers from her. 
“Oh my god,” she said, still clutching him to stay upright. “I’m so pissed we had to wait nine months for this.” 
Laughter barked out of his mouth.
When she could make her hands work, Jessie pulled his hard, hot length from his boxers, and stroked a few times. 
His mouth fell open, and he panted, “it’s bullshit, right?”
“Such bullshit,” she agreed, devouring the pleasure that washed over his face.
“Wait,” he said, grasping her wrist. “I want this to last.” 
“You already got me off,” she said. “What do you need to wait for?” 
“I'm not going until you've come at least twice. What's the point of women being able to have multiple orgasms if I can't give them to you?”
That was some flawed logic, but she allowed him to pull her hand away. She wasn’t going to say no.
“Can I taste you?” 
“If you want,” she said hesitantly, as if he might be pulling some kind of prank. She'd never had a man offer to go down on her first.
“I do want,” he said, guiding her to lean against the mirrored wall and sinking to his knees. “I've been wondering how you taste since we met.”
Maybe that oral fixation all the girls talked about online was actually true.
“Can you put your leg up here?” he asked, sliding a gentle hand to the back of her knee, and lifting so the joint bent around his palm. He guided her foot to the stool. 
When he looked up at her, his blue eyes shining with excitement, she retraced their steps to get there. Not even ten minutes before would she have expected to end up with Matthew Tkachuk eating her out in the back dressing room. 
“That feels okay?” he confirmed, palm stroking back up her thigh.
God, he was even making sure she was comfortable. Her whole body fluttered in anticipation. “Yeah,” she breathed. 
Every other time a man had given her oral, they were fast and sloppy, obviously trying to get it over with as soon as possible. With Matthew, he seemed to be dragging it out for his own pleasure, tasting and teasing like he just couldn’t get enough. He was driving her crazy - winding her tighter and tighter. 
“Matthew,” she moaned. It was better than any of his dreams. Better than any fantasy. “More. Please. More.” 
She felt his lips briefly curve into a smile against her before he really got to work. Licking with the whole flat of his tongue, then flicking with the tip, he was suddenly everywhere. 
Her hand scrambled for purchase on the wall behind her. Met only with the slick mirror, her fingers fumbled into his hair, searching for anything to hold on to. 
He groaned into her, almost as if in pain.
“O-okay?” she asked, voice shaking as she attempted to loosen her grip.
When she felt his response but couldn't hear it, it took all her willpower to push him away. She was not going to hurt him, especially when he had been so insistent on her consent. She could feel his hard breathing rushing over her and it set her skin to trembling. 
“Okay?” she asked again. 
“Good,” he assured, eyes flicking up to meet hers. “I'll let you know if you pull too hard,” he said with a wink before diving back in. 
Her head thunked back against the mirror. He really was made for her, that was the only explanation. 
 God, she was perfect. She tasted like paradise, like water in the desert, like his favorite meal after a long period of fasting. She satiated his every craving. 
His competitive drive growled into a higher gear, demanding to please her until she whimpered and begged. He licked and sucked and spelled his own name with his tongue, gauging where she liked to be touched most. 
“Matthew,” she moaned. “Oh my god, Matthew.”
Pleasure began to tingle low in her pelvis. It loosened her hips and turned her legs to putty. She'd never had a man take this much interest, let alone put so much effort into her pleasure. She moaned something unintelligible, even to her own ears.
He slipped a finger into her, and she cried out. Her hand tightened in his hair when he added another. 
A whimper on every exhale, she panted, trying to keep some semblance of control. It shattered when he gently kneaded her g spot. 
Pleasure thundered low in her belly, and she was forced over the cliff, glad to know Matthew would be there to catch her fall. Her vision turned hazy as she crashed. Time and space exploded into nothing more than shadowy constructs. She heard herself shout as if listening from another room.
When she came back to herself, Matthew was still languidly tasting her folds, one of his forearms braced over her hips to keep her upright. 
Pushing him away from her core, she tried to catch her breath. 
As he sat back, he wiped his face with his free hand. The satisfaction of pleasing her rumbled contentedly in his chest. 
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I fucking love you.” 
He laughed, a look of delighted surprise on his face.
The reality of what she'd just said hit her and Jessie covered her face with her hands, “oh my god. I can't believe I just said that out loud.”
“That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me during sex.” 
Relief sunk into her bones. Soul mates. They had to be soul mates. 
A few moments later, she finally found her feet and pushed away from the mirror.
“Alright,” she said, reaching for him and wrapping her fingers around his erection. He stumbled toward her, anxious to feel more. 
She smoothed the precome leaking from the tip onto the shaft with her thumb. “I think it's my turn to taste now.” 
Matthew wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected her to do, but lowering to her knees in front of him right away hadn't been at the top of the list. He expected her to jerk him off for a minute, maybe kiss and tease him a little. Not that he was complaining. If she was willing, he'd gladly accept. 
“Do you like more suction or more mouth?” she asked before licking the underside of his shaft. 
Oh God.
“I dont - I don't care.” He wasn't sure he was even going to last long enough for it to make a difference. He felt so close to the surface already. 
“You don't care?” she repeated, sitting back on her haunches to look up at him. 
With her mouth off of him, he could explain his reasoning a little better. 
“Frankly, I've been dreaming about this for so long, I could almost bust just from seeing you on your knees.” 
She was flattered and also a little relieved she wasn't the only one. 
“Okay,” she said as she reached up to pump him a few times. “Something we'll figure out later.”
The fact that she was thinking about the future, too, made him weak. 
Her lips wrapped around his tip, tongue caressing, and he was right there. 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 
“Jessie,” he moaned, “god that feels good.”
Was it the best blow job ever? Objectively no, but it was Jessie, so it felt more important than any that came before it. He felt like he was fifteen again, getting his first head, amazed by everything and having no restraint. 
“I'm - I'm gonna come,” he moaned, trying to pull back so as not to come in her mouth. 
Jessie would rather have it in her mouth than all over her, so she gripped the backs of his thighs to keep him in place. 
“Oh, fuck.” How could she possibly be this perfect? 
She sucked and caressed and he exploded with a long low groan. 
She kept licking, albeit more gently, until he pulled back, sensitivity making it too much to bear.
“Holy shit,” he said. The room felt muggy and he felt content in a way he'd been longing for since they'd lost each other. 
“Yeah,” she agreed. 
He helped her to her feet, and pulled her against him, wanting to feel her close. 
A while later, her phone, which had fallen out of one of her pants pockets, buzzed and the time flashed. 
“Shit! I have to go,” he said, scrambling for his clothes. “I still have stuff to pack!” 
“When’s your flight?”
“In an hour, but I have to drive home and then to the airport.”
They rushed to get their clothes back on. He hated seeing her bra disappear under the camisole again. 
As soon as he was dressed, he grabbed her jaw and kissed her. Her hands floated from tucking her shirt to cup his face. 
He'd just had her, but the wanting roared back to life as soon as she touched him, as if his body was trying to remind him what was possible between them. Like he could ever forget. 
“This was so amazing. I promise I'll take you on a real date when I'm back, and I'll call you while I’m gone,” he said. “I'm sorry I have to dash out of here.”
He kissed her again, hard and purposefully, before rushing out of the dressing room. 
“Wait!” she chased him onto the sales floor still tucking her shirt, “my number. You need my number.” 
“Oh my god,” he slapped a palm to his forehead. “I can't believe I almost left without it again!”
She giggled, “you're not getting away from me this time.”
They exchanged numbers and Matthew raced home. 
He rushed to pack the last of his things, grateful for the example his dad set, in always having a base bag packed the day before a road trip just in case something came up. 
He was the last one on the plane, a first for him.
“Chucky just got fucked!” someone yelled. 
Matthew felt his cheeks get hot. His hair was probably wild from Jessie's hands, and he could feel the love bite on his neck, a sure sign it would soon be a full blown mark. 
Reino met his eyes and raised a brow. Jessie? he mouthed. 
Matthew nodded. 
He wiped the back of his hand over his brow in mock relief. 
“Oh thank God,” Bennett exclaimed from across the aisle. “I thought I was going to have to lock you two in a room until you got together.”
Matthew laughed. 
When he got settled, he sent Jessie a text. Just on the plane, but I'm missing you already. I'm back on the 14th, so pencil me in for that date. 
I have you in for the weekend. We have a lot of time to make up for. 
Fanciction Masterlist
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campbyler · 3 months ago
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our chapters average at 27,000 words, the total fic length is already 3x the average novel length, and we lost one of the authors working on this fic. it must be so nice to only have to endure the wait for a chapter to be uploaded so that you can interact with it rather than being the one to actually write it.
im going to be cruel (no pun intended) to be kind: this is such an intense externalisation of blame. you are the ones in control of the fic length; the chapters could handle some heavy editing and it wouldnt make them any less wonderful (such as regarding the descriptions of mike and will's internal thoughts, not the action between the characters themselves). fic is free and its a gift to be able to read works that inspire our hearts and minds while we wait for the show, but then again, when at the stern of a juggernaut work such as this, one that will inevitably have many followers chomping at the bit on tumblr as well as ao3 (as you designed it to have!), you surely must be aware of something that only usually exists in professional marketing spaces involving customers + brand IP: the relationship between consumer and creator, and what they can give each other.
not 'owe each other' - nothing is owed, except perhaps basic human kindness. fans want your work, and its free, so we should be grateful; likewise, you want readers, feedback and clicks, and that should be free, too. but in order for this to work smoothly, there has to be fair give and take. i mean, if you wanted to monetize the fic i'm sure many people would pay to read it, but thats beside the point here.
what fans of this fic simply want is the same honesty and self-awareness from you that they might expect from any artist who has embarked on such am ambitious project. and this doesnt just mean transparency about potential uploading dates (which is already much appreciated by the majority!), or notifications about how hard it is to balance work and life (something most people on the planet struggle with). it means total honesty and hard answers. people like to know where they stand. plenty of writers (both professional and fan alike) abandon works for months, years at a time, and if the work is THAT good, people will always be thrilled to see a return. it's the mucking people about that is what destroys relationships - no matter how good your reasons are.
your fic is wonderful and very, very memorable. you could take a big, undefined hiatus and people would, im sure, return, including me. seeing you admit that you have been prioritizing this fic over your mental health does not inspire confidence either, or even comfort - do i want to read something that has caused the creator such harm?
i think everything about this process would be happier for everyone if you set boundaries that work for you and didn't place blame elsewhere. after all, as you said, it's just a fanfic. it doesnt matter if you don't finish it. it doesnt matter if it takes all the way to s5 for 10.2 to release. everyone would, though, appreciate you taking a stance and being consistent (and therefore fair) to both yourselves and the readers.
please feel free to not post this publicly or do as you wish with it.
hello! thank you for your feedback and for sharing it in a way that is both kind and respectful. you make many valid points that i agree with -- we are in control of the word counts and could stand to edit down more, and we do recognize where being transparent about the reasons behind the chapter delays might not inspire confidence or comfort. i do, however, think that isolating one response/chain of responses to a particular ask is a little unfair, so i'd like to provide additional context.
i do not think that it's fair to say that we haven't been honest, self-aware, or fair, because we have been incredibly transparent throughout the entire run of the fic (over a year) about our writing process. just last month suni said she hadn't been working on 10.2 at all because abby had been visiting her house, and readily took ownership of that fact. there was a 4-month wait between chapters 9.1 and 9.2, and i was very open about the fact that i simply needed a break for at least the first of those months because i didn't want to write it. we have continued to maintain several times that we are not abandoning the fic, even if it takes longer between chapters, and have tried to stay as active as possible on the blog because we know that seeing us interact with asks Does inspire confidence. if you just scroll down and see how we have answered other asks inquiring about the upload, we responded kindly and respectfully.
what you interpreted as externalization of blame in that one (1!) ask response was me trying to provide perspective to someone who clearly lacked it. we understand that people will be frustrated about chapter delays, especially if we keep pushing them back, and this is also something that we have received feedback about before and tried to implement; however, it is also a double-edged sword where if we don't give an estimated upload, people get upset, or we give an estimated upload that we think is completely reasonable for us to achieve and then hurdles get in the way, whether it's writer's block or work or time with friends. i absolutely get the frustration on the receiving end, but something i have learned from being in this fandom for two years is that a pretty big majority of those who are interacting with fanworks are not creating it themselves, hence why my response -- while snippy and annoyed, because i was matching the energy, and will not apologize for that -- was contextualizing the whys behind the chapter delay: the chapters are long, the fic is long, we are down one entire body from where we started. the intention was not to shuck blame off of ourselves, but i get that intentions don't always translate into effect, so it's understandable that it was received differently.
we don't always respond to things perfectly. when we have a million and one asks inquiring about the next upload, one stray one that comes off the wrong way is likely going to set us off, because we are people, and this is not a job. we have set a boundary by disabling anon, and again, i cannot stress enough how much i appreciate that you've come to us with this feedback off-anon and with respect and decency. i get where you are coming from and again, agree with a lot of your points.
the only other thing i want to make clear is that this fic, no matter how much attention its garnered, should not be treated as a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors anything where the exchange of money is involved. not only is it unfair to apply this standard to fanworks, where it is illegal to monetize such content, but the entire purpose of fanworks is to celebrate what you are a fan of together. when you apply expectations on either end -- i am a fan of this work, therefore, people should create timely content for it; i am creating this fanwork, therefore, people should interact with it -- defeats the entire nature of fan-created work as a whole. while we have continued to be vocally grateful for the love and support our fic has been shown, we both maintain that we would continue writing and continue uploading even if we were getting less than half of the amount of interaction that we do. it's nice to have interaction, but not necessary, because we what write and post is done because we love it, and it's shared so that we can look back on it, so our friends can enjoy it, and anyone else who might want to. we are, of course, excited to share that world with anyone who cares -- we created the blog and the promo because we wanted to share it -- but that does not mean that the relationship between us and our readers should have expectations. we are all creating and enjoying this work for free for the sake of love for the characters, as the star trek obsessed housewives of the 60s (and the law) have intended.
i feel like this response is a bit jumbled so i apologize if anything isn't clear or hard to understand. thank you again for your time!
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natti-ice · 10 months ago
Text
Rafe Cameron Blurb.
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x gn!reader
Warnings: angst, you break up with Rafe
Based on the line “This isn't the person I fell in love with.”
Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3
⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡
Things had been off for weeks between you and Rafe. You don't know what happened but something shifted in your relationship. Your relationship wasn't perfect by any means but it was good, you were happy.
You had distanced yourself from Rafe and you couldn't explain why. You just didn't feel the spark that was once there. You had so hundreds of missed calls and texts, you didn't know how to tell him that you didn't love him anymore. You still care for him but you couldn't keep pretending you were in love.
You were sitting in your room trying to come up with a text, your mind was blanking. Everything you typed seemed wrong, there weren't words that would describe how you feel. You settled for a call, maybe he could come over and you could talk about this in person.
You took a deep breath when you clicked his contact, right as you were about press call a faint banging pulled you from your thoughts.
Someone was at the door, no one else was home so you had to get it yourself. You got out of your bed and made your way to the door. You turn the knob, revealing a drained-looking Rafe.
"Rafe," You said "What are you doing here?"
"You've been avoiding me so this is the only way I knew you would talk to me" He was a little irritated, this whole situation has stressed him out so much that he hadn't slept much. "Can I come in?" he asked
You didn't respond, you opened the door more as a yes. Rafe came in and you closed the door behind him, he made his way into the living room like he did every time he came over, you followed close behind. Rafe was slightly pacing in front of the couch, neither of you were speaking.
"What happened to you, Y/N?" he asked, pain evident in his voice
"What do you mean 'what happened to me', nothing happened to me" you said
"Clearly something did" he scoffed "You don't answer my texts, we don't hang out anymore, the last time we spoke you were mean. I don't know what happened but this is not the person I fell in love with."
You didn't know what to say, you knew whatever you had to say would break his heart. You walked to the center of the room, taking a seat on the couch.
"Sit, please?" You asked him
He took a seat next to you, a respectable distance between each other. You knew this conversation was coming sooner or later.
"Rafe, I think we should break up."
"What?" he asked with a puzzled look
"I really wish I could explain it but, I just don't think we're good for each other. I'm sorry." You told him, avoiding eye contact you kept your focus on the floor
"No" he said causing you to look up, it was your turn to be confused
"What do you mean 'no'?"
"No. You can't just forget me for weeks and not have a reason, you're not telling the truth. Please, stop lying to me" He pleaded
"I'm not lying, there's nothing to say-"
"That's bullshit" he cut you off raising his tone
"I don't love you anymore, is that what you want me to say?" you yelled back at him, you were so frustrated by this whole situation
Silence...
"You don't love me anymore?" his voice was scratchy and quiet
"Rafe, I am so sorry." You sympathized
"Did I do something wrong?" Rafe was racking his brain on all the things that he could've done to make you feel this way. He knew he wasn't the best person but he did everything in his power to be better for you.
"No no! You didn't do anything wrong I promise." You grabbed his hand locking both of yours around his "I just don't feel the way I once did, I don't want you to think it's your fault. It's not" You told him watching the many emotions dance across his face, his eyes focused on your hands
"What does this mean for us?" he asked not looking up
You hadn't thought about it, you couldn't lie and say and say you'd stay friends because it probably wasn't true. "Well, we probably won't see each other for a while and when we do it'll be awkward so we will end up avoiding each other like the plague"
Rafe let out a breathy laugh, it had been the first time you saw him smile in a long time. "I'd never avoid you, Y/N."
You knew you'd miss the sweet things he says to you.
"We'll see about that, Rafe" You laughed back
Silence washed over you when the laughing stopped. The awkwardness had already begun.
"I should probably get going then" he sighed getting up from the couch, letting go of your hands.
You followed closely behind him, walking him to the door. When you made it to the door, you both stood there looking at each other waiting for the other to speak first.
Rafe took a big step up to you, wrapping you into a tight hug. He held onto you for a while knowing would probably be the last time he could.
"I love you, Y/N" he whispered
You stayed silent. When he finally let go, he turned around and walked out the door.
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glassrowboat · 3 months ago
Text
Unraveling Red String. Ayato.
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Kinktober prompt: Shibari/After care
Author's note: Koibito means the person you love
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Gentle hands had kept you still, ran over your body again and again in slow, teasing strokes, easing your aching muscles to dip under the red ropes slowly being unbound from your wrists and legs. A finger slipped between the rope to run over the lines marking your irritated skin, spilling the truth you refrained from admitting: that even during your fun you had been slightly uncomfortable, and not in the way Ayato is keen on.
In the end, your own body betrayed your mind, for it was the loosest of tongues.
“Patience,” he chuckled, “we have all night.”
The frayed cords tickled you as one of the many knots tying Ayato's hard work loosened. It felt loose against your waist as he tugged it free, easing the strain you had taken on from being bound in the same position for hours on end. Your knees were planted on a pillow, the soft cushion being the only thing to keep you from kneeling on the tatami mat so your knees, too, could have a row of horizontal lines pressed into your skin. Just like your face.
“I've never been good about this part.” You whined back in response.
Tying you up had been an arduous task. A slow, unhurried pair of hands had guided the binds over your limbs, running them along your body with violet eyes carefully watching you all the while.
A teasing smirk had graced Ayato's lips from the moment your wrists had first been perfectly bound, a server's hand knot keeping you from reaching up and lacing your wandering fingers through his silvery locs Always so soft to the touch and smelling of cherry blossoms even through the haze of sweat and musk when Ayato made you cum around his fingers with a cry.
You had strained against the ropes all the while, but they hadn't budged an inch.
“It's just me untying now, but this is the part you lament?” Ayato asked, and you couldn't help but wish you had the ability to wipe away his self-satisfied smirk as easily as he could make you beg for more.
A heat burned at both your cheeks, from the smooth one on your right side to the one on your left still embedded with the braided details of rice straw as you muttered out a “yes.” Your voice was too hoarse as your throat begged for water, but you were caught between the urge to wet your lips and to focus on catching your breath; chest still rising and falling in an uneven pattern as you try to fill your lungs once again with the air he had so righteously stolen from them.
“Just a little longer.” Ayato reassured you, wet hand slick with your own essence, sliding over your thighs before he tugged another knot free.
An H shaped futomomo fell away.
It was functional, but just barely, mainly used for decorative purposes. Something you couldn't understand putting ten minutes into all fornit to be purely aesthetic, but that was Ayato for you. He loved to make you uncomfortable in ways that would have your toes curling and head turning away from him all so Ayato could turn it back so he could once again meet your gaze.
“I don't want longer, I want now.”
Your whining did nothing to hurry him. Rather, it seemed to only slow Ayato's movements as they stopped at the three-tie series binding your chest in a diamond harness.
With a sigh, he pulled away, your name on his lips in a question.
“I'm fine. Just-”
“I see, and here I thought even with the late hour you were hoping for more.”
You shook your head, already turning down the offer before Ayato could fully voice the sentence. He had already put you through the wringer by forcing you to wait for each knot to be tied as his fingers grazed over your cunt, eliciting a gasp each time only to pull away without properly touching you and you knew Ayato would put you through that all again just to see you cry his name no matter how many orgasms he's already coaxed out of your body like a wave washing over you.
“Then wait, koibito. I need only a few moments more.”
His hand ran along your breast, cupping the flesh with teasing fingers aiming to pinch your nipple before retreating to undo the binds on your chest. Like all the red ropes around you, that too fell to the floor. Fiber snakes coiled underneath you.
“Finally.” With a relieved sob, you dropped back down onto the mat, letting the cool material run a chill down your spine as you laid down with the ability to stretch once again returned to you.
“Well someone sounds relieved.” You heard Ayato mutter right before his arms were wrapping around your waist and scooping you up. An arm supporting your back and the other your legs, still numb from the position they had been held in.
Curling your toes you felt a wave of static shooting up your leg, nearly protesting your actions to get your blood running to anything other than your arousal once again. “Where are we going?”
“Where else but the baths? I was the one to make a mess of you, and now I need to clean you up.”
Your head fell against his chest, the few strands of his hair on Ayato’s shoulder brushing against your nose as you cuddled against him. You mumbled something even as you tried to blow them away from your mouth, voicing your doubt that's all he was up to.
“It's not very nice to question the sincerity of your lover.”
“And it's not very nice to make me feel like I have to doubt you even when I'm half asleep.” You shot back.
He hummed, and you could feel the vibrations in his chest against your arm. “Is that all you can say? Usually, you have comments that could have even the most foul-mouthed of sailors taken aback.”
The door to the baths opened, rolling along the track with a low rumble.
“Says the one who tired me out.”
“And I would do it again. Now tell me, koibito, have you ever heard of the chain stitch corset” was the last thing Ayato said before promptly dropping you in the bath water with a laugh.
You didn't even hear the door closing behind him before Ayato joined you in the water.
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