#Idk man I’m flabbergasted

[marimbles]

i miss being in my tmsidk era. what was i on back then. where did that girl go. come back ho why would you abandon me like this

[righteousruin]

headcanon.

The primary reason why Bane tends to be sparse in terms of personal belongings, despite being well paid for his work and essentially owning a country, is due to understanding valuables as something he has to safeguard.

Growing up in Peña Duro showed him a decade of having to fight to protect everything an anything he had — what very little it was — as someone was always trying to take it away. This applied to everything; Books, safety, his social status, even the priest who visited who Bane would talk to was blinded by another inmate and stopped coming — a transgression Bane murdered the inmate for.

Bane is so used to, and certain of, this prison culture that he’s even used it as a strategy, carrying a teddy bear gifted by a therapist into population, knowing that someone would attempt to take it, and he would be able to use the shiv he’s hidden inside as a surprise.

Bane expects whatever he believes he has to be taken from him, one way or another — to the point now that he will step back from something that makes him feel hopeful about something out of his control. Hope has never ended well for him, and so while Bane still claims a lack of fear, hope may be the biggest one he has.

[lukasagitta]

Can’t believe tumblr may have finally fucked up badly enough to drive me out goddamn

[g3llyfish]

Hey I wanted to request something funny.

Like redson and macaque ( separately ) kidnaps one of mk’s friends, fem s/o and they start laughing ( not like mocking them ) but more like ( I can’t believe this happened ) while saying “ no no I’m sorry..it’s just..this is the most effort a man has ever put into me 😂 “

Idk i thought it was funny in my head 🤔 hope this was okay

"DELUSIONAL"

Redson x FEM! reader x Macaque (Seperate)

Either platonic or romantic

Redson and Macaque judging the reader, Reader being delulu, MK just wants his best friend back TT

NOTE:

MY FIRST ASJ AAA Tbh, it can also be considered as GN!reader cause I mostly do second pov but I still hope you enjoy!!

🔥 || REDSON !!

It has been a few week of him trying to defeat the noodle boy to get his staff

As expected, he fails again and again, machines after machines being crushed by that stupid staff and that stupid monkey boy

Knowingly that there's no use for his machines since they only go to his scrap corner

Until an idea pops up in his big demon smart boy brain

What if he kidnaps someone who is dear to MK and bargain them for the staff!

I mean, if that stupid noodle boy loves his friends so much he would do everything to get his best friend back!

Brilliant! Amazing plan even!

Meanwhile, you were hanging out with Mei and MK in the anti-gravity arcade, having the greatest time if your life

Until the ceiling broke down...

You were immediately grabbed by the demon bull clones and tied up so you wouldn't escape.

     "Redson?! Get back here with our best friend!" MK shouted at the bull prince who has you in his arms as you struggle.

     "Never! Catch me if you can, noodle boy and dragon horse girl!" Redson yells back as he laughs dramatically and surrounds him, you, and the bull clones with his fire to teleport away.

     Now you are hung from the ceiling in his lair, if that's what you like to call it considering the lava pool, tools, materials, engines, and many more are laying around the gigantic room.

     "Let me go!" You demanded "What are you planning now, Redson? Y'know MK is gonna MK.O!!™ you again right?"

     Redson scoffs a laugh, lifting up his welding mask to look up at your hanging state as he puts down his blowtorch.

     "After I finish my invention, we will go up to the mountain where my father was imprisoned..." He started to monologue "and then... I will exchange your life for the staff! ...that noodle boy cares for you so much that he will give it to me willingly! And once I have the staff is mine... MY FATHER WILL GAIN HIS POWER AND BE THE GREATEST RULER OF THE WORLD!"

     Redson's dark and overdramatic laughs echoes through the room as the lava's light reflected behind him, creating a giant menacing shadow of himself on the walls.

     Meanwhile you only blink twice at him, not being effected by the intimidating aura that the prince made.

     "You think I'm worth more than the staff?" "What"

     "Well, you basically said that I'm the same price as the staff... Do you think I'm that special?" You grin at him while he was only flabbergasted by your words.

     "W-what?! NO YOU IDIO--" "I don't know, like, you kidnapping me, thinking that I'm enough to be exchanged with the staff, you could've picked Mei but you chose me!"

     Redson gave you a dumbfounded look, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration as you explain your conclusion.

     "Like, you took effort to kidnap me, you think I'm that worth of effort? No one has ever done that for me" You continue as you sniffle a bit.

     "Did-did you forget about the part where I said about my world domination?" Redson simply ask as he gives you a deadpanned stare.

     "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm just so happy right now, you think I'm worth more than the staff? You think I'm that unique?" "Shut up, you're delusional."

While he made his invention to secure his plan, you were in the background trying to make him admit that he thinks you're special

You're not what he thinks you are that's for sure, with you being a giggling mess while you're LITERALLY CAPTURED BY TYE DEMON BULL PRINCE

He expected you to be like MK and Mei, someone who wrecklessly fighting anything that move...

Not someone who is off to delulu land with quips at the back of your hand

He definitely regrets the kidnapping plan

🍌 || MACAQUE !!

After the 'stealing-wukong's-powers-from-MK' plan didn't work, he couldn't find anymore information or updates in MK's life

Macaque has to keep a close eye on him afterall, considering he is Wukong's apprentice

So why not get one of MK's best friends? He can't just lurk in the shadows

Sure, that'll work but he needs more dept and personal stuff about MK, to find something to hold him back

So while you were on your way back home, not paying attention to your surroundings that was when Macaque took the opportunity.

You took a step and before you knew it, you were falling down to the ground into a theater place for shadow puppet shows.

You landed on your back on the wooden ground, making you raise your brow in confusion cause you remember that you were walking on a pedestrian.

As you look around the place, you hear a dark echoey chuckle from behind you making the hair on your skin rise.

You stood up immediately to see none other than the shadow of the six-eared Macaque.

"Hey, doll..." He chuckles again, his grin getting wider as his shadow shrinks and he turns into his monkey form.

"Macaque?! What am I doing here?! Are you here to hurt me?! Well bad luck, monkey!" You glared at him making him smirk.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you, I'm just here to borrow you for a while" Macaque says shrugging, getting closer towards the stage that you stood on.

"Me?" You ask in full confusion, your body relaxing as you put down your defenses.

"Mhm... You see, hiding in the shadow is not enough for getting information and I need you get me some," Macaque answers.

You pause as each side of your lips starts to slowly rise, "Me?"

"Yup, if you don't comply... then I might take back the 'I won't hurt you' part, simple, hm?" Macaque threatens with a hum.

You pause again, longer this time "me?"

"Yes, you..." Macaque sighs as he gives you a 'are you deaf?' look.

You held your laugh for a while before laughing aloud, Macaque, ofcourse felt as if you're underestimating him as he gets a little grumpy at your reaction.

"Wh- why are you laughing huh?!" "Pfft-- sorry! Sorry, sorry, it's just... I don't know it's funny"

"Funny how?" Macaque ask as he raises his eyebrow in frustration and crosses his arms.

"I don't know, you could've chosen anyone that could stalk MK for you but you chose me! Hah! I just didn't expect that someone would actually put effort on me" you laugh out.

"Effort?" Macaque questions, he wouldn't disagree with himself but he's definitely worried for your well-being.

"Yeah, I mean, you could've just sended me a text saying 'give me information or you're dead' text like my other exes, but here we are!" You continue to blabber making Macaque give you a concerned look.

"I-what..." "Yeah! I'm kinda flattered that you put so much effort on me, kidnapping me, tracking me down, watching which street I go to-- okay that's kinda creepy--" "okay, stop"

Macaque has to make you stop so he can continue his plan

He's mostly concerned about you cause who tf reacts like that?

He had to make a deal with you to proceed with his 'information gathering' plan but you always gawk at the fact that he chose you out of all people

Plan unsuccessful (?)

I'm sorry if it isn't to your expectations TT tell me criticisms if you'd like but I still hope you had fun with the fix as much as I did, love you pooksters :P

[cinnamostar]

blind date

pairing : changbin x gn!reader

summary : when you’re set up on a blind date and it turns out to be your ex boyfriend from two years ago

wc : 1.6k

cw : nonidol!au, they’re exes your honor, fluffy, cutesy, not proof read that much idk what else

a/n : wrote this on my phone again so sorry for any mistakes! i don’t really know how to feeeel abt this fic, not my best work but i hope you like it!

you let out a nervous sigh as you enter the restaurant, a cold shiver traveling down your spine as the hostess leads you to your table, one your friends reserved on your behalf. you were starting to regret agreeing to this blind date your friends, hyunjin and felix, set you up on, but they were so insistent on it and said they found the ‘perfect’ match for you. you weren’t sure if you could trust them that much, but you knew at the very least, whoever it was wouldn’t be some creep like your other unfortunate dates.

hyunjin and felix were some of your best friends, ones you made in the last two years since you moved to the city due to a new position you got in your company. you met them by chance through a few coworkers, and since then, the three of you have been inseparable. they were incredibly supportive people, but they were tired of hearing you complain about shitty dates every weekend, so they decided to take matters in their own hands, stating they know this really cool guy through some other friends who was ‘totally’ your type. and apparently this new guy just moved to the city a few months ago too, so you would be the perfect tour guide for him too.

regardless of your nerves, you decide to put your trust in your friends as you patiently wait for this mystery man to arrive. you were curious to know what those two boys believed your type was and what made them so hellbent on making you go on this date, but perhaps curiosity killed the cat.

“hey, sorry im late!” a voice you were all too familiar with rings in your ears, the man before you rushing into his seat across from you with an apologetic smile as your mouth hangs open in utter shock and surprise, goosebumps making themselves known all over your body.

once he sits down, he looks up to meet your flabbergasted expression, the smile on his face falling once the realization hits him. his faces pales, almost as if he just saw a ghost appear right before his very eyes.

“changbin?” you ask incredulously, still not able to accept the ridiculousness of the situation.

“y/n?!” he mirrors your tone, except he was far more boisterous than you, causing a few heads to turn as he flashes a sheepish and apologetic grin to the other patrons around you two.

“i… uh, you’re my blind date?” he questions in a lower volume with raised eyebrows.

you sigh, an astounded chuckle escaping you, “i guess so…”

“i see… since when did you move here?”

“uhm, a little bit over two years ago. i ended up taking that promotion my company offered me,” you respond, a hint of anxiousness trembling through your words.

“oh, so, basically after we broke up..?”

“mhm,” you hum in confirmation, your body feeling tense due to the awkwardness that hung in the air between you two. “felix and hyunjin told me you just moved here, right?”

changbin nods, “yeah, one of my old friends needed a roommate and i just kinda wanted a fresh start, so i took my chances. how do you know hyunjin and felix?”

“coworkers,” you reply shortly, not really sure what to do in this situation.

“oh, cool! they’re old high school friends of mine, we only reconnected recently,” he smiles gently, biting his lips due to his nervousness, “i’m sorry if this is awkward.”

“ah, no, it’s okay. it’s no one’s fault, this is just some crazy coincidence,” you reassure him, “we don’t have to go through with the rest of the date, it’s okay to end it he-“

“no, no!” he interrupts, a dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks, “if you’re okay with it, we can just use this to catch up, no? it’s been awhile since we last spoke.”

you let out an uncertain sigh, “i’m fine with it, it’s just that we really didn’t end on the greatest of terms, did we?”

changbin’s face grimaces as he reflects back on the last months of your relationship, ones that were filled with constant fighting and disagreements over the littlest of things, which ultimately led to a very over dramatic break up since you both had become sick of each other over time. “no, definitely not,” he chuckles, “but we can catch up like old friends, no? unless, you wanna miss out on a lovely time with me, then that’s your decision,” he teases, the old changbin you once fell in love with slowly peaking through.

you roll your eyes playfully, “right, it would be a shame if i missed out on something like that,” a smile breaks out onto your face, a sudden wave of butterflies and shyness overtaking you. “sure, let’s catch up. i don’t mind.”

“great,” he clasps his hand almost as if he was celebrating this small victory, an embarrassed smile taking over his features, “well, i guess hyunjin and felix weren’t lying when they said this ‘mystery date,’” he lifts his hands to do air quotes, “would be my ideal type.”

you shake your head, laughing at his statement, “right, they weren’t wrong at all. maybe they were a little too spot on.”

somehow, those two hit the nail on the head and somehow paired up two former lovers through some miraculous twist of fate. there was no denying that your heart still had room for changbin, a piece of it feeling empty since your relationship with him ended. at the end of it, you had chalked it up to right person, but bad timing, as each of you were far too engrossed in each other’s career goals that inevitably took time away from the other. it wasn’t the right set of circumstances for either of you, as nether of you were at a stage of life where you could nourish a healthy relationship. he was once the person you imagined to spend the rest of your life with, but at that time, you thought if you weren’t able to bear hardships with him, then maybe he wasn’t meant to be that person. it was easier to accept you two were never meant to be, but your heart knew better than that. your heart knew he was the one, but that life just cruelly got in the way of your relationship with him.

eventually, the waiter came around to take down your orders, briefly interrupting the flow of conversation you and changbin were having. in some strange way, talking to changbin against was incredibly refreshing, as you missed the sense of safety and familiarity he brought with him. he was still the same sweet and endearing changbin you once fell in love with all those years ago, and maybe those feelings of love never truly left your heart as each time he would giggle, your heart would thump out your chest. you found yourself having to resist the natural urge to hold his hand, or to reach over and pinch his cheeks like you use to do back when you were together.

you missed this, and you missed changbin more than you could’ve ever imagined. his very appearance was enough to rekindle old flames of affection you once held for him, ones you never thought you’d be able to experience again. you both were enjoying every moment together, laughing and poking fun at each other as if nothing had ever changed, and before you knew it, two hours had gone by in the blink of an eye.

changbin insisted on walking you to your car, matter-of-factly informing you it’s what chivalrous men like himself do, which sent you into a small fit of giggles.

a gentle breeze bellows through you both, a comfortable silence filling the air, the awkwardness from earlier no longer to be found. you look up to the night sky, taking a chance to admire the full moon that glistens above you.

“you know, whenever i look at the moon, i still think of you,” changbin confesses in a hushed whisper, a longing look in his eyes as if he was looking off into some distant memory. you turn to him with a quizzical expression, urging him to go on. “you use to always tell me to look how pretty the moon was nearly every night. even if we weren’t together, you would text me to go outside and look at it,” he reminisced fondly.

“you always looked too,” you smile.

“honestly, i didn’t really get it at first,” he laughs, “but i loved you and it always made you happy whenever we looked at it together, so i made sure to look at it every night. even if we were fighting and weren’t with each other. even now, i still look up and think of you.”

your face grows hot as his words fluster you, the unexpected vulnerability catching you off guard, “thank you,” you respond gently, “for doing that for me. it always made me feel very loved.”

“i still do it. i think part of me will always love you no matter what.”

your breath hitches, your eyes widening as he looks away bashfully, not expecting or planning for those words to ever leave his mind. you let out a soft exhale through your nose, a shaken smile taking over your features, “i feel the same way too.”

quietness returns, neither of you sure how to continue the conversation as you reach your car, “well, this is me,” you break the silence, pointing to the car next to you, “thank you for today, it was… fun. i had a lot of fun.”

he nods, “me too,” taking in a deep breath, “do you… do you want to do this sometime again?” he asks meekly, fearing your response.

“yeah, i’d really like that, changbin.”

“okay, great. it’s… it’s a date?”

“it’s a date.”

[lovelyjj]

Could you do jj saves reader from kitty hawk and they catch feeling for each other or something idk?

Kitty Hawk

jj maybank x reader

wc: 1,494

requests open

*some dialogue is from outer banks season 3 episode 9*

(not my gif)

It was late in the afternoon when you decided to go home and ask your parents if you could go to South America. Your parents however had other plans for you.

When you arrived at your house a truck pulled up and a man in a grey uniform stepped out.

“Hey Y/N,” he spoke.

You turned to look at your house, when the man said, “Hey, come back. I’m not gonna hurt you. l just want to talk to you.”

You started walking up your driveway, “Uh, no, thanks.”

“Y/N, it’ll just take a second,” the man insisted.

“Stranger danger,” you walked up your porch.

The door to your house was locked when you tried to open it. You started knocking on the the door and shouting, “Hey! Dad. Uh, Mom.”

To your surprise, another man you’ve never seen before opened the door to your house.

“Who are you?” you asked startled.

“Look. This can go one of two ways.” The second man said.

You exhaled. “No, no, no.”

Your mom came out from behind the door, “I’m sorry, honey. We’re sending you away for a while,” she expressed.

“They say that Kitty Hawk’s the best.”

“Wait, what?” you breathed confused.

“We just need to try this, okay? We’re just trying to help you,” your mom explained.

“No.”

“Stay calm,” one of the two men instructed.

“It’s not forever baby. I love you,” your mom said goodbye.

“Mom. Mom.”

“I’m sorry,” your mom apologized.

“No no no. I can’t do this right now,” you begged.

The two men were grabbing ahold of your arms and taking you away.

“We’re trying to help you,” your mom pleaded.

“Mom, Mom, Mom!”

“You have to try.” Your mom said.

“You can’t send me to wilderness cuckoo’s nest!” you exclaimed.

“They’re not gonna hurt you. They’re good people. They’ll help you out,” your dad explained.

“Don’t fight it. Just go, baby. It’s best for you right now,” he continued.

“I said I don’t wanna go. I don’t want to!” you fought.

You grabbed onto the fence trying to pull away from the men.

“Y/N. Stop fighting it” Your dad yelled.

“I don’t want to!”

“I have somewhere to be. No! No!”

“Mom! Dad! Please!”

They threw you in the car and you slapped the windows with your hands calling out to your parents. “No. No. No. No.”

“Mom! Dad! Please! No!”

——————

Everyone was wondering why you weren’t at the airstrip. JJ was getting worried. He figured he would have to go and get you. He wasn’t going on this trip without you that was for sure. JJ was determined to get you on this plane if it was the last thing he would do.

“We’re gonna have to do this without her,” Pope announced.

“No. Give me the keys.” JJ told John B.

“No, dude. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Gimme the keys.”

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea right now, JJ.” John B warned.

“Look. Her parents already hate me. All right?”

“Just give me an hour.”

“It’ll be like. black ops mission, in and out.”

“Surgical removal type shit alright.”

“Plus… I kind of owe her.”

John B ended up giving JJ the keys and so JJ made his way over to your house. He took a deep breath and got out of the car. Your parents were sitting on the steps of the porch.

JJ found out your parents sent you to that wilderness camp and he was angry. He was flabbergasted. His blood was boiling and he was seeing red. All that he could think about is rescuing you.

He found out where you were staying from his cousin. Then he was on his way to save you. When he arrived at kitty hawk he knew he had to play this strategically. He couldn’t just walk up and drag you out of there. He had to be sneaky.

——————

At Kitty Hawk, patients will not be allowed to contact the outside world for the first six weeks of their stay. Patients will not be able to use their phones.Patients will work to be diligent and polite.Patients will be expected to get to work on time. Be awake by 6:00 a.m. and asleep by 9:00 p.m. Failure to adhere to the rules will result in time in the reflection cabin. This is all in the patient’s best interest.

You were thrown in the reflection cabin for trying to escape through the bathroom window. So you stood in there crying because this was the last place you wanted to be and you were feeling hopeless.

JJ got to the gate explaining that he just needed to drop off some packages and they let him in. He went to the office right away.

“How’s it going, ma’am? Um…?” JJ greeted.

“Uh… Can I help you, son?” the woman at the desk said.

“I have a message for one of your campers here. Um… Uh, her names Y/N, uh, Y/L/N. She’s here, right?”

“Unfortunately, we’re not allowed to do that. You’re not even supposed to be here on campus.”

“Okay. It’s… It’s just that it’s a very important… May I sit?”

“Uh…”

“It’s a very important matter, ma’am.” JJ pressed on.

“Oh, i’m sure it is, sweetie, but we have a policy. No contact from the outside world for the first six weeks.” The lady at the front desk responded.

JJ looked at the picture frame on her desk and saw the picture of a cat. So he got an idea.

“Right. Ma’am. It’s actually a family matter, and, uh… I’m… I’m related to her. Im her cousin.”

“So, look, I know you got a policy and all, but there’s just been something that happened recently that… You know what? I’m getting a little emotional right now. So I think I should go. I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t even be here, like you said, so I’ll leave you alone. But before I leave, could you just let her know, um… just that, uh… …Marley didn’t make it?”

“Who’s Marley?” The lady asked.

“Marley’s her best friend. A Siamese mix, and, um, yeah, it was really sudden.”

“And, you know, uh… the mailman was coming at 40 miles per hour so…” JJ snaps his fingers.

“He’s in a better place now.”

“But, um, could you just let her know for me? I’d really appreciate that.”

“Thank you, ma’am. You have a great one.”

The lady went to you after JJ left. She told you the news about your cat. You were confused at first but once she said your cousin was blonde you connected the dots.

Later on kitty hawk staff came in to relocate you. You told them to hand on a sec. Then you took a sharpie and wrote cabin 6 P4L.

JJ went looking for you then saw what you wrote on the wood and went to cabin 6. He used a credit card to open the door to the cabin.

Once he got in he whispered your name a few times. One of the girls woke up and turned on the light.

“Sorry I come in peace I’m just looking for someone i’m just looking for- looking for-“

“Me.” You sat up on your bunk bed.

“Y/N.” JJ was flooded with relief.

I guess JJ always had a thing for you but he pushed his feelings aside because he didn’t want to ruin your friendship. When JJ saw you in the dimly lit cabin, he felt something in his chest. You were stunning and he realized it has always been you.

As soon as JJ found out your parents sent you to that wilderness camp he knew he needed to save you immediately. There was no question. He’d do anything for you.

When you saw JJ it was like the whole world stopped. You couldn’t believe he came to rescue you. You quickly realized that without him you would be nothing. That he was your person.

You got down from your bed and met JJ in the middle of the room. You threw yourself into JJ’s arms and engulfed him in a huge hug.

“How how did you-“ you whispered.

“Long story no time to explain.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

JJ reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Believe it.”

“I just wanted to let you know, I would do anything for you,” JJ confessed.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

JJ cupped your cheek with his and and leaned in for a kiss. The two of you were wrapped up in each other and kissing. The kiss was heated and intense. Your mouths crashing together and your hands roaming your bodies. The other girls on the room started cheering.

You and JJ ran out of there and escaped. You never thought you were gonna leave that horrid camp.

“Thank you for rescuing me.” you voiced.

“No problem baby.”

[stars-o]

𝙰 𝚃𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚈𝚘𝚞

Synopsis: You and Ren have been cuddling for the past few hours, on their request, but then you get the urge to put something in your mouth. Good thing Ren’s here to help you to satisfy your needs. 

Tags: blowjob, established relationship, deepthroating, male pleasure, gagging, slight edging, smut, slight ooc Ren? idk

Word Count: 985

Pairings: Ren/Redacted x AFAB Reader

A/N: literally had a dream that I sucked Ren’s dick idk how that even happened also Ren/Redacted brain rot AHHH AND ANOTHER THING MINORS/ AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!!

Ren/Redacted belongs to @14dayswithyou

“A-ah! A-Angel…wai-fuck!~”

“Sl-..ngh! Slow down!” 

“Y-you’re so…mmf! Eager!”

The faint pounding of the rain echoed through the empty apartment. The room was dark and cold. The only source of warmth was coming from a bundle of blankets on the large bed and who laid in them was you and Ren, all cuddled up. The pink haired man had his scarred fingers scratch at your scalp, making you practically pur at the feeling. Your arms were wrapped around their waist, face snuggled into their cardigan. The smell of mint and fresh linen invades your senses. Ren beams at the sight of you so relaxed and wrapped up in his arms. 

You toss a leg over Ren’s hips and shift positions before grumbling and shifted into another position. Ren lifts his head from his soft pillow from your constant movements.

“[Name]?” They call out softly. You move your gaze over to meet concerned blue ones. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” You hastily replied, pulling your face away from Ren’s soft cardigan and instead rested your chin on his chest. “Just being weird, y’know?” They chuckle, nuzzling their nose into your head.

“You know you can say whatever's on your mind, Angel.” He softly kisses at your neck and your face heats up.

Sighing, you eventually gave up. “I kind of want something in my mouth, like candy to suck on.” Ren stutters and lifts himself onto his elbows, cheeks bright red. 

“I-is that so?” They were flabbergasted and you snort, hand going to caress Ren’s clothed stomach while you moved your body to settle in between Ren’s legs. 

“Obviously I’m not in a biting mood, more like a,” You drifted on, lowering yourself down his body, rubbing his thighs that shivered at your warm touch. “I want something to occupy my mouth kind of mood.”

The pink haired man lifts his arm to cover the bottom half of his red face, eyes not straying from yours. “[N-Name]!” He gasped, hips jerking into the air. Giggling you decide to stop your touching and rest your chin against his lower belly, he gulps. 

You stick out your tongue. “Just kidding!” 

Your boyfriend whines, rocking his hips into you in desperation. You were about to mock him when you felt a wet sticky substance on your shirt. Looking down, you spot a dark spot on Ren’s sweatpants. “U-unless you want me to…” You added, face growing warm as Ren rapidly nods their head. 

Taking that as a green light, you proceed to slide to the edge of the bed along with tugging on Ren’s pants down before scarred hands quickly grab onto yours. You stop and look at Ren who’s eyes dart around your face before meeting your [Eye color] eyes. 

“Do you, uhm, think you can wear a blindfold?” They nervously asked, intertwining their fingers with yours. “I-I’m sorry for the sudden request, [Name].” 

You shake your head, easing his nerves a bit. “Hey! No worries!” Scanning the room, you try to find something to cover your eyes with. Ren shifts and pulls something from underneath his pillow. It was a black silk sleeping mask. 

“Here, you can use this.” They reach over and place the mask over your eyes and your world is enveloped in darkness. Ren hums, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear and cups your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “You look angelic like this, Angel.” 

You giggle, cheeks burning from your boyfriend’s compliments. Then you hear the ruffling of clothes being taken off and immediately lock in, licking your lips in anticipation. Ren lets out a sigh of relief after releasing their cock from its containment, the musky smell invades your nostrils and you fight the urge to just swallow it whole. 

“D-do you need help or should I-'' Ren begins only to be cut off with a yelp after you reach over to blindly brush against his weeping tip. White pearls dripped down your hand as you used a finger to rub the slit in a circular motion. Ren groans, reaching down to lift his shirt up to not dirty it, not like you noticed it or anything. “[N-Name]!” 

Scooching closer to the bed, you lick a trail from Ren’s cock from the base all the way to the tip. Their legs tensed, shivers of pleasure running down their spine. “Fuuu…uck!” More whimpers escaped his plump red lips from biting back his louder noises. 

The salty taste of their precum makes you lick your lips, your eyes fluttering at the taste. Ren groans, eyes locked onto your head watching closely as you open your mouth and take his head, giving it a harsh suck. They roll their blue eyes to the back of their skull, pearly rows of teeth biting down on his plump pink lips.

This encourages you more, one of your hands reaching over to fondle his balls causing him to let out another moan. Ren’s toes curl once his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag. “A-An-fuck! [Name]! I..I’m gonna-” 

The pink haired man shuts his eyes and arches his back beautifully off the bed as they release into your mouth. With a moan, you swallow what you could and remove your lips from their cock with a small wet pop! Ren’s face was flushed, chest heaving, and his cheeks were covered in tears. You wished you could see what their face looked like right now. 

Swallowing a glob of spit, Ren settles a scarred hand on your head. “W-wow Angel, you were very excited..!”

“I’m not done.”

He blinks, a confused smile forming on their face. “W-what?”

“We’re not stopping, I still want something in my mouth.” You purred, blindly placing your hand back onto his weeping cock and gave it a few pumps. Your boyfriend cries out from the overstimulation.

“W-well then!” He groaned. “You c-ccan…fuck- do whatever you - ah, want!” 

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

rushed and unedited, I might come back and actually make it better soon

also SOOOO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! honestly I got lazy and then writers block and other shit happened ;(( but we good

[selfishmachinez]

this request was inspired by someone else who wrote it with Adam but idk I can’t find the post I think they may have deleted it or smthn😔

anyway- reader x Lucifer , Adam, and mammon (romantic, seperately) who plays that “best brother ever ” prank on them in public? i just think it’s really funny😭 if you don’t know what I’m talking about this is what I mean: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLevxYyu/

"BEST BROTHER EVER"

notes: STOPP I SAW THIS ITS SO FUNNY😭 this trend kills me everytime omg

also hours after posting this i realised it was flopping cause i didnt add any tags someone bury me😔

warnings: adam and mammon being themselves (assholes😇); mammon being a bitch (kinda nsfw for him? idk you'll be the judge of that); not proofread

word count: 339

ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT

Lucifer 🍎 —

okay so for all 3 lets say your relationship isnt out to the public yet, but people just kinda figured it out already

poor baby was so clueless😭

i dont think hes very up to date with pranks/trends/all that

THOUGHT YOU WERE FRIENDZONING HIM FOR A SECOND????

"well youre not an angel NOT LIKE THAT youre TECHNICALLY not an angel so we cant really be,, siblings,, BUT im glad you think of me like that i just thought we had more going on???"

if you keep the prank going he'll gen be hurt

you had to sit down and explain the joke to him

all you got out of him was a nervous chuckle and a "oooohhhhhhh..."

give my man some time ok hes old as hell (pun intended) 🧍‍♀️

Adam 🪽 —

first of all how DARE you

hes usually the one pulling the pranks on you

bro was flabbergasted 😭

he gives you that stare he gave lucifer after he said "and now i am going to FUCK you >:)"

second of all he kissed you back ok but when you said THAT???

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE????

"dont say that, you crazy bitch."

"i love you big bro, cmon."

he pushed you after that one ok🥰

after you tell him you were jk he was like "fuck was that for??? you wanna ruin MY reputation???? do you know who i am" bla bla bla

hes not gen mad just a little pissed at best

Mammon 🃏 —

"what?????"

"youre the best big bro ever!"

his reaction is fairly close to adam's imo

except hes not mad and actually plays along

"you into that stupid ass roleplay thingy now, eh?"

shit got heated for a second😨

"nononono ITS A PRANK ITS A PRANK"

"is it now?"

had you genuinely panic

that horny bastard istg!!!!!!!

he saw the trend already so he knows youre just playing

the kiss kinda threw him off tbh, he didnt want your relationship being public yet (cause he outed asmodeus and fizz and didnt wanna be seen as a hypocrite etc)

[via-l0ve]

Hello! I've been binging your fics/imagines lately and I just can't get enough! I don't know if this was ever done before, but--

Could you do a general, platonic (perhaps mildly romantic, like how I see Dean kinda gushing over Y/N idk, your choice!) imagine on how the men (Sam, Dean, Castiel, maybe Crowley [which would be funny]) would react to Y/N being some kind of powerful angel, like that sits at a pretty high rank and has the power to do all sorts of stuff? Healing, destroying, anger being so destructive it could kill a human (but albeit a peaceful being). This angel would probably serve as a guardian to the Winchesters, or a superior to Cass or a complete surprise and maybe unlikely companion for Crowley? I imagine it'd be a scenario where they're saved last second during a massive fight, probably get to know er type deal. This sounds kind of cheesy as I ask someone else to write this but I hope it doesn't sound too weird, I almost wanna go anonymous HAHA. I know this is VERY specific but I don't wanna confuse you! It's something I wanna write out into a fic myself but the way you write would make it super interesting! :)

So sorry if this was too much, I'm very descriptive!

Angel. (SPN pref!) 🩷

a/n: stop omg. this idea is so cool! also - thank you for the kind words!! i appreciate you so much!! i hope you enjoy this!

warnings: slightly romantic!!

Dean:

Dean met you on a hunt

he was being himself and basically bleeding out, but he was still fighting

you, being in charge of the dink, had to come down and help out

when you appear, a bolt of white light strikes the ground and your voice projects through the atmosphere

“you will not hurt this man.” you say, hair blowing in the wind and eyes glowing

dean was flabbergasted, also a little scared, but also a little bit in love

eventually you just kill the entire vampire nest because they’re stupid and you turn to dean.

“are you okay?”

he’s even more confused because this angel just came down and slaughtered the threats to him and now they’re talking so.. nice.

you heal his wounds and boom. now he’s your friend

he follows you around like a lost puppy and also brags that he’s friends with not one, but two angels, and one is even more powerful and higher up than fucking CASTIEL.

as he gets to know you he knows how sweet you are and it inteigues him even more because - as i said, you’re a powerful angel who can kill anyone but you’re so nice to him, Sam, Bobby and Cas.

the first time he sees you angry he literally gets all red and falls for you

—

Sam:

You first met sam when he was basically bleeding out in a motel room

Dean had gone to get food and sam had been hiding a pretty nasty gash from him

so now he was sitting alone trying to patch himself up (and being unsuccessful)

so, you made your appearance and tried to keep him calm

you appeared and he saw you and went 👁️👄👁️

“it’s okay. i’m an angel. i will not hurt you.” you say softly, stepping towards him

sam is still a little wary but he lets you heal him

you press your fingers to his forehead and he’s all good (albeit a little scared hahah)

he always has the smuggest little smirk on his face when you get angry on his behalf

he likes the feeling of having such a powerful being watching over him all the time but it also makes him nervous because of… his past💀

addicts recover

—

Castiel:

When you came down from heaven to help the Winchesters and Castiel, he was happy to see you

he knew, despite rebelling from heaven, you wouldn’t judge him

he spends a lot of time near you

like, standing right next to you

i like to think that you have better “people skills” than him for whatever reason (it’s just funny) and he just kind of sticks to you ykwim

he thinks you’re so cool

he dosent step in to help you in fights because he knows you can handle it and kill anyone you want

he’s blushing and kicking his feet when he sees you🤭🤭🤭

absolute power couple if you guys got together like omg

but yeah

he always defends you if anyone says shit

he’s just such a cutie pie

—

Crowley:

you popped in when crowley was holding dean and sam hostage

you came into the room, eyes rolling already.

“let them go.” you said, voice sounding bored as you’d done this multiple times already.

crowley looks at you

“oh god, you again.” he scoffs

BUT he dosent even bother to argue and lets them go

which shocks the boys because that’s not like crowley

but he’s smitten for you

it’s giving enemies to lovers

but anyways

you guys have many encounters and end up talking a lot

crowley talks about hell and you talk about heaven

and he finds himself not hating you

and suddenly he wants to be around you more and learn about you and watch you be a badass angel

[chunkymamatam]

Yooo when you have time, tell me about your JJK, Obey Me and Apothecary Diaries DRs (Just the basics like how it's been and maybe some interesting interractions, if you want)!!!! They're absolute favourite fandoms!! Also, what happened in TBHK lol???

-Reena

Yeah sure!

So what happened in TBHK was I could see ghosts and I made eye contact with Tsukasa’s little ass and that mfer scares me so I pretended like I didn’t see him but he started chasing me down “I KNOW YOU SAW ME” Bro I’ve never run faster 😭 that shit was wild and I’m never going back. He’s gonna get me LMFAO

JJK

Now Let me tell you the funny story of why I was even going JJK… In short I wanted to get down and dirty with Sukuna, I didn’t know how but I assumed I was gonna somehow get into his domain, preferably just appearing there. I fully didn’t intend to survive this encounter. I was like alright if I appear there he’s either gonna kill me on the spot or I’m gonna have 2 seconds to give this man the funniest offer he’s had in centuries

then after that if he accepts he’d kill me after… That did NOT happen. I woke up walked outside and started roaming wondering how imma get this done and mfing Satoru Gojo start following me saying “hey you” LMFAO I RAN

this man was gonna get in my god damn way. And he did. He cornered me at a dead end and said “you done running?”

“Yes”

“Cool can you see this thing.”

“Yes”

“Cool cool. You have a really abnormal amount of cursed energy. You should really be dead right now I don’t know how you’re still walking. Come on.”

and long story short we ended up neighbors. I know he has an actual place so idk why he got the apartment next to mine but here we are.

Obey Me

For Obey Me let me just tell you how I ended up in the Devildom for now because shit was so wild I stg. I woke up in my bed and I thought I just didn’t shift and I sighed, wanting to just go tf back to sleep at that point and all of a sudden my door bursts open and there’s Diavolo, Barbatos and Lucifer’s big asses.

“CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING INTO RAD! YOU’RE ON AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO THE DEVILDOM!”

AND THEN THEY CASTED A SLEEP SPELL ON ME AND THE LAST THING I HEARD WAS “oh goodness she’s naked”

I sleep naked. I could cry from embarrassment rn. If I knew I was gonna start that DR like that I would’ve put clothes on. I didn’t even have enough time to process what was going on. The first thing they knew about me wasn’t my voice, or my awkward mannerisms. No. It had to be that I sleep booty butt naked. My ego? Crushed. My self-esteem? Left the building.

Apothecary Diaries

In my Apothecary Diaries DR everyone thought I was mute because I refused to talk to them. The workers were even bitchier in person. They fr bullied tf out of me for being fat(not surprised), having moles and feckless, being tan(my camera takes my color unfortunately 😭), etc. So I just straight up wouldn’t talk to them. The only ones who knew I could talk were the Eunuchs who brought me to the palace and Jinshi for a good while lmfao. And I didn’t even talk to him fr for a good while(not bitching it’s just funny). Then the whole fight between the Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua happened and Maomao was speculating so I pulled her aside and confirmed for her. It’s funnier because she was like “You can talk???” Like yes girl I just hate these bitches.

Then she asks me why I didn’t say anything if I knew to which I had to explain that I was bought from a foreign country and they weren’t gonna listen even if I did. Girl was flabbergasted. Love her she’s great. Nah we got called into a meeting with the rest of the workers by Jinshi and he held up two signs, one in Chinese one in English cuz I can’t read the characters 😭 by the time Maomao realized that I was trying to get her to come with me cuz this was about the two of us. To be fair tho even if I had run without her it’s really obvious when I’m reading something so he would’ve got my ass anyway LMFAO Lady Gyokuyou kept us both, me because when her and Lady Lihua were fighting I was like “Gyat Damn.” And I quote “I have made the mute speak and now you are mine.” She’s so sweet.

I need to go back to one of these places soon I miss it a lot when I talk about it.

[skriblee-ksk]

“A party in Halloween Town? I’d be a fool to deny!”

Cameo of @the-rini-rush’s Carla!!

“It’s shocking I wasn’t chosen as the bride, but It’s alright. A heroine who fights for devotion seems to be my thing nowadays.”

Set to Home Screen: May the best suitor win.

Home Transition:

1: I didn’t bring an offering for the fountain. Not like I need good luck either way, I can fulfill my wishes all on my own.

2: I’m not sure how tight the security is at the Boogie Man’s Palace. I’m confident in my acting, but… Hm, I’ll scope it and then decide.

3: Yuuki looks quite dashing in their suit. Not exactly my definition of prince charming, but they could be a good candidate… I think I’d like to doll them up sometimes.

4: As much as I’d like to go into the graveyard and look for anything spooky, it’d be disrespectful to disrupt it without gifts on hand. Are flowers a little basic?

Home, after Login: Hmm, I quite like the properties of this outfit. Don’t I seem like a ghost? Be careful with your words, or I might haunt you forever…! Ha!

Tap Home:

1: The Esqueleto’s are quite considerate to invite me to their party. If I see them, I’ll be sure to thank them.

2: I seem more upbeat than usual? Well, I won’t deny it to you. A place where both the living and dead reside. Isn’t that exciting?

3: We must go to the Boutique, darling! Their dresses are quite glamorous, in a strange way.

4: Carla’s here too? Oh, and we’re rivals? Alright, let’s see who’s able to win Yuuki’s heart! Although… I’m not sure if her head’s completely in the game with Constance around…

5: Being the special girl picked from a large crowd is wholly romantic, don’t you agree? If I’m not chosen, then well… I always have other chances to get my dream anyway.

Groovification: “I have some flowery lines prepared. And if that doesn’t suit Yuuki, I have a few others.”

Tap Home Groovy: I’m not sure which attitude to put on when I’ll woo Yuuki. Probably nothing too straightforward, right? Don’t want to scare them off.

Home Transition Groovy: I wouldn’t mind living in a place like this. Dark and spooky… Oh, but what if I get bored of it because I experience it so often? It’d make me miserable!

Event by @theolivetree123!!

More under cut!!

putting my daughter kalmia up for sale for love <3333

I didn’t think i could get the groovy out before the end of the due date bc i’m pretty busy these days so it’s included this time!!

doodle of kamiyuuki:

idk like the general timeframe (book-wise) this event is in, but I think Yuuki and Kalmia would’ve met, perchance?? (She officially gets acquainted with Yuu like basically right after book 3 ends)

I don’t know how Yuuki feels about going home either, but!!! Either way!!! Kalmia would have went on that whole spiel and would’ve tried getting closer to Yuu, and then accidentally ended up becoming pretty closed due to forced (?) proximity. tragic (?)

Anyway. CONGRATS ON 150+ FOLLOWERS!!! 🎉🫶🙏🏻 Ur art is so wonderful (and so are ur characters) so it’s only natural!!! I hope I continue to see them more!! Literally so happy to be moots with u. I found you in the candy crush event and I was literally so flabbergasted when u fb. ANYWAY. Congrats once again!!! I hope u have fun w this event!!!

Taglist (ask to be added!!): @kathxrat-01 @distant-velleity @scint1llat3 @elenauaurs @boopshoops

@lumdays @venaue @jewelulu @thehollowwriter

[lttl3babybug]

since requests are open maybe lil scott with cg wallace 👀👉👈 like either general hcs or like the first time wallace saw scott like genuinely regress idk wjqkqlnd whatever u want is fine 😋😋

EEEK FIRST SCOTT PILGRIM REQUEST!! Ofc I can sweetheart!! Very excited abt this!! I’m gonna do headcanons for both bc I’m very excited

Regressor!Scott and Cg!Wallace Headcanons!

The first time

🎸 The first time Wallace caught Scott regressing was at 2 in the morning

🎸Scott hadn’t head the best day and he was trying his best to sleep it off from the moment he got home till he had to get up the next morning

🎸Didn’t work, what a shocker!

🎸Anyway, he ended up waking up at 2am and just couldn’t get back to sleep so decided to play sonic

🎸While the volume was done the bright light coming from the centre of the fully dark room made Wallace stir in his sleep till eventually he woke up to see Scott sat in front of the tv playing on his game

🎸He looked oddly relaxed for it being 2 in the morning. So he got up to check on him (aka tell him to get his ass back in bed)

🎸When Wallace approached Scott he noticed that his roommate was snuggled under a blanket with a pacifier lodged between his lips

🎸Interesting

🎸Now sure Wallace knew Scott was somewhat aware of age regression due to his friends but he had no idea Scott partook in the recession

🎸He was stumped.

🎸So he leaned down and gently tapped him on the shoulder, Scott nearly jumped out his own skin. Immediately the paci was disgraced somewhere across the floor and Scott’s face filled with a panic as he fumbled out an explanation before Wallace just sort of shushed him

“Oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for you to see that at all, it’s nothing weird honestly it’s like what Neil and-“ “shhhhhh, use your inside voice buddy”

🎸The way Wallace spoke so sweetly to him immediately made him stop talking. He was flabbergasted.

🎸Wallace had really just brushed this off like it was nothing?? Of course Scott wasn’t complaining. He was glad Wallace was okay with this he was just in shock really

🎸Safe to say the rest of the night was spent with Wallace and Scott talking about the insistent and setting some boundaries about this newfound relationship they’d gained

General headcanons

🎸Scott regresses either very small or slightly older. I’d say from either 1-3 or occasionally 5-8 depending on his feelings

🎸If he’s regressing from stress then it’s 5-8 but for bedtimes and general cuddles or naps he regresses to his younger state

🎸He has a sonic themed paci!! Ofc he does (yes Wallace bought it for him)

🎸Lots of stuffies. So many stuffed animals.

🎸If he regresses in the night and Wallace isn’t awake he’ll manage to shuffle his way into Wallace’s arms so they’re snuggling while Scott sucks his thumb

🎸He also uses teething toys! The little bubble circle ones are his favourite, he has a red one that’ clear and sparky

🎸He LOVES the movie cars. Like he adores that movie. Will watch it religiously. Watched it so much Wallace has BANNED it from the apartment unless Scott has had a particularly bad day

🎸Ramona co-caregivers with Wallace! Wallace is his main cg with Ramona taking care of him when he’s at hers

🎸Scott doesn’t necessarily bite but he’ll put your hand in his mouth and just sort of…hold it there

🎸He won’t suck on your fingers or anything it’s just in his mouth

🎸Wallace calls him ‘little dude’ and ‘little man’ a lot while ruffling his hair. Scott pretends he hates it but secretly he loves it

🎸He called Wallace ‘Wally’ and Ramona ‘Mama’ when small

🎸GRABBY HANDS!!!

Thats I can think of rn, Ty for requesting!! <33

[gaybitchfx]

“Omg I’m so sad like idk what to do😢 karma I’m just sad like please help me what do I do🥺🥺🥺🥲” “just cheer up😜” “oh yea ur right😋 I never even thought abt that🧐lik what would I do without you ?” “Pft idk die🤪”

Chi

Shi

Ya

Requesttttt

Mkay

So maybe reader got some big ass muscular man boobies right ?(you may add obliviousness for reader as well that’ll make it all the fuckin better-)

And Chishiya is one that just stares at em(btw they’re already dating) but has never just gotten the courage to touch em. Like ever. So then one day he gets caught staring and reader is just like “you wanna touch em ?” Says it like it’s no big deal reader was saying it like a toddler asking for something💀 Chishiya is flabbergasted af but ends up touching em anyway for a long ass time, and if you add chishiya putting his face into them I will platonically marry you and give you chocolate cake

I can just fucking imagine if chishiya is mad an uses readers moobs as stress balls✨

-🍓 Character(s): Chishiya

-🍓 Type of reader: M!Reader

-🍓 Category: SFW(?)

-🍓 Warning(s): Tiddy grabbin

-🍓 Note: man tiddies for the win and I will be taking the chocolate cake thank you very much

-🍓 Edited: ❌

Chishiya’s eyes shifted over to your chest, you wore a white button up and that shirt looked like it was holding on for dear life to keep your chest hidden.

He wanted to touch them but thought it would just be too weird to go up to you and touch them even if you two were dating.

Chishiya might’ve been staring for too long cause you turned to look at him, a bit confused about why he was staring at your chest. 

“Do you want to touch them?” You asked him, tilting your head to the side a bit, not even aware of why you asked it. “Can I?” You nodded your head.

He swallowed any lingering saliva in his mouth before reaching his hands out and giving them a good squeeze, surpassingly the button didn’t pop out. That’s one strong ass button.

Chishiya stared at them intensely as he fondled and squeezed them for a while before just putting his face into them as he hugged your waist. You looked a bit surprised by this but only played with his hair.

“A dream come true..” He mumbled, a small smirk present on his face.

-🍓tags: @jkloserdazai @reallyromealone @secretivemessenger @lostsomewhereinthegarden

[moodywyrm]

dating basketball!abby at first n she notices you don’t steal any of her clothes like her exes in the past have.. and she’s like “babe :( don’t you want to wear my clothes?” (bc whenever she sees you wearing something of hers, her lil possessive side comes out and she’s so proud bc everyone recognizes those clothes) n ur like “,,but i’m chubby abbs idk if they would fit?” as she pushes one of her hoodies into your hands n shes like “trust me baby”

and bc abby tends to wear bigger clothes due to all her muscle hers would fit you perfectly,, n you put it on and just gasp like!!!! abby!!!!!!! they fit!! this has never happened!!!!! and from then on she’s insisting you wear something of hers to every one of her practices/games,, n she’ll buy new shirts and boxers and hoodies allllll for you bc she knows you love how she smells

y'all are gonna make me cry today, all these basketball abby n chubby reader asks are really getting me <3

I also think abby intentionally buys clothes that are bigger on her, partially for you but also because clothes that are too tight + not stretchy enough limit her range of motion and she hates it!! especially with her arms, her biceps, she hates when clothes are too tight on her arm. so! all of her clothes are either big n baggy, sleeveless, or super stretchy.

now. all of her exes (including Owen, the loser) would take her clothes because they're super comfortable and they smell like her. she literally expects nothing different from you, especially because she knows you love how she smells. so she's super confused when you show little to know interest in taking her clothes? whenever you would sleep over, before you practically moved in, you would always bring your own change of clothes, no matter how many times she tells you that you can borrow her clothes! ur always like 'it's okay baby, I brought my pajamas :)'

and god you want to! you would fucking love to wear her clothes, to show her off, to be seen and immediately recognized as hers. but honestly you're so scared that it won't fit. all of my fellow big girls know the absolute heartbreak you experience when you really want to wear something or you find something super cute and then it doesn't fit. (I literally just went through this like two days ago, with the cutest lil 90s dress that wouldn't zip </3). you couldn't handle the disappointment if abby's clothes didn't fit you, so you didn't even try.

until one day, when ur sleeping over at hers and it's been such a weird fucking day that you forgot your change of clothes. and you really don't want to wear your day clothes to sleep bc that is so >:(

and abby is just like, "baby, why don't you just wear my clothes?" literally already grabbing one of her hoodies (with her name and number on it <3) and a pair of her boxers. and ur internally panicking, because now you have to tell her.

'abs, it probably won't fit. we're not the same size.' and she's Flabbergasted. Bc one, she never even considered that but TWO. she knows it will fit. bc she buys all her clothes bigger. and stretchy. so she just pushes the clothes into you and goes "it will fit baby, trust me" (little do you know that when you two got together she purposely got her basketball hoodie n some of her other clothing pieces in even bigger sizes than she usually gets). she's leading you to the bathroom, letting you shower n get all clean n covered in her scent, because you always use her stuff when u sleep over. but when you get out, ur anxious as hell. it takes at least ten minutes from exiting the shower to get the courage to pull on her clothes, the boxers first.

and holy shit they fit. they're stretched over ur hips n ass, but they fit, and more importantly, they're comfortable. and u literally sigh in relief bc thank god man. but now is the real test: the hoodie. u clip ur hair up n pull the hoodie onto your body, and u almost cry bc. it fits. not only does it fit, it's fucking baggy on you. u look in the mirror and ur grinning like an idiot, all draped in your girlfriends clothes, her scent encompassing you entirely. u step out of the bathroom n practically run to abby, who is waiting for u on the coach in sweats and a wife pleaser, grinning from ear to ear when she sees you. u basically jump into her arms, hugging her so tightly. she hugs you back, strong arms circling your waist before she just goes "told you so, pretty girl"

this ask made me so warm n fuzzy bc literally one of my biggest sads in life is not being able to wear my partners clothes, so this was sooo fucking cute n sweet n made me so happy thank you nonnie <3

[pinkrifle]

Hello wonderful person!! I’m not sure if your requests are open, if not, just save this for when they are. Could you write hc’s for the main 4 + butters (or just one person if that’s too much) with a Canadian reader? (Except they don’t look like the Canadians in south park, maybe they were born in America but grew up in Canada, or were just adopted or something 💀) And at some point they nonchalantly bring up being Canadian and the group is so confused because they somehow had no clue (even though the reader fits practically all the stereotypes; too nice, says eh, watches hockey religiously, etc.) Just kinda what the aftermath of that would be? This actually happened to me a while ago and I’m still flabbergasted bc idk how my American friends didn’t know I was Canadian 😭 (they now refuse to call me anything other than ‘canuck’, maybe you could incorporate that) Ok this request is getting kinda long so I’ll let you do the rest, have a great day! :)

have no fear! i love long requests, it gives me more to work with ^^ also i’m srry if this isn’t how you wanted it to be i dnt know much about canada and stuffs 🫶 also i’m so sorry this is short, i kinda didn’t know where to go with this <3

— butters + main 4 finding our reader’s canadian!!

cws/tw’s: none

———————————————————————————————

— Kyle B !

was 100% not surprised, he probably knew it before you even thought abour telling him

but he is a little more confused when you tell him

i mean, you do fit the traits, nice, your a severe hockey lover.. but you don’t look canadian? 🤨

but his brother is canadian too, so whenever you come over he always brings ike to you!!

he hates when ppl try to take advantage of you for your kindness, it’s just a perk of being canadian!

“WAIT YOUR.. CANADIAN?? i mean. uh. your canadian? 😙 my brothers canadian!! maybe you guys know eachother…. wanna come over later?!”

— Stan M !

another one who suspected you were Canadian, surprisingly. but didn’t really mention it.

would 100% watch hockey games with you when you hang out even tho he doesn’t know wtf to do in hockey 😭 he jus loves his friends

loves the way your so nice, it makes him feel amazing!! definitely a nice replacement for cartman (kyle agrees, 100000%)

when you go over to his house, your always so nice to shelly even though shes a little bit of an ass, to you and to her turd brother.

his ass loves that maple syurp snow thing and makes it everytime you come over!!!!!!!!! (with ice instead of snow, if y’all don’t feel like going outside)

“CALLED IT. i so called it.. so.. do you know how to make that maple syurp snow thing or not?.. 👀 oh uh my fave hockey team,,uhhh the yankees?—”

(clueless man. i love clueless man.)

— Eric C !

100% ripped on you before you told him. but rips on you even more when you tell him 😈 black air forces energy

pretends to be scared of you when you come over to them in the bus stop, and clings to kyle.

then he realizes kyle is also “part canadian” because of his brother (even tho he’s adopted 💀)

he gives you puppy dog eyes and a weak apology a few hours later. you accept &lt;3

he definitely takes advantage of your kindness, but hes really grateful for it since you don’t beat his ass every 4 seconds because of his recklessness

“WHA? EWWW!! FUCKJG CANADIAN 👻 KAHLL HELP ME!! oh— WAIT UOU FRICKIN JEW CANADIAN!! GET OFF OF ME >:(”

“i’m sowwywyy🥺 sowwwyyy 🥺🥺 so sorrryyy 🥺 can we be friends again i like canada 🥺🥺 (has a piece of paper with the canada flag on it taped on his shirt)”

— Kenny M !

dirty jokes, doesn’t matter what gender u are 😟.

doesn’t really care what you are, kinda just wants to hang out with you regardless. loves how your super nice too, and super caring when he dies :((( feels bad when he wakes up but he’s glad you don’t remember (surprisingly)

(also forgets your canadian like 2 hours later you tell him, forgive him 💔)

likes watching hockey with you, gets into it just cause of u!! also enjoys that maple syurp snow thing as much as stan, him and stan make it all the damn time!!

“cana-ussy huhuhuhu.. oh yeah. good for you! me and stan uhh we like those maple syrup candy things :3 i think you’ve heard that enough from stan tho.”

— Butters S !

very excited when you tell him!! wants to know ALL about canada and bugs you for days.

you guys are both super duper nice, and he always feels so warm around you knowing you actually care about him &lt;3

doesn’t care that your canadian, but he does find it cool as hell!! tries to like hockey, but it’s too confusing for him ,,,

puts a small picture of the canadian flag in his room and shows it to you when you come over (it’s so precious)

he tells his parents all about canada, whatever you tell him!! they don’t find it interesting but who gives a damn, they suck

“O HAMBURGERS, that’s amazing! how come you didn’t tell me sooner?! do you like hockey? what part of canada are you from? wh—” literally asks 100 questions, but you love ur bestie

———————————————————————————————

once again i’m so sorry this is so short :( i didn’t know how to interpret it, but i hope you do like it!

[dark-elf-writes]

…what is the mold incident

oh did I not tell you

So important context to this story I cannot see without my glasses. Like bad. Like if it’s not huge or two inches away it might as well not exist bad. Like if a white person does “how many fingers am I holding up” in front of a beige wall I dead ass cannot tell.

I also don’t shower with glasses on which I feel is obvious but it’s relevant to the story so whatever.

So one day I had put contacts in to dye my hair and didn’t bother taking them out before I showered to get it out because I was lazy and gloves are a suggestion that I more often than not ignore so I for the first time in a long time can see while in the shower.

And while I shower I turn slightly to look out the window which I have gone in record before as freaking me out. Looking for monsters or some shit idk.

I don’t use the window for storage so I don’t really pay attention to it and assume the guys are keeping the space they use to store their belongings clean if nothing else. I mean I kept pretty much the rest of the bathroom clean I figured they could handle a window and shelf right?

Wrong.

There right behind my roommates soap, the only one of us that can see full raw dogging his eyes out to god, the soap he should be using at least a couple times a week there is like a quarter inch of black growth sticking out from where the window meets the wall.

I don’t mean like in diameter. This is a whole fucking mushroom cloud of black with a STALK sticking out of our window right next to this man’s Old Spice.

I am horrified I am flabbergasted I am drenched and covered in blue dye making eye contact with the thing growing in my shower like this is a fucking Goosebumps book.

So I finish my shower and get to interrogating. My partner has better eyes but the angle of the soap and his height was just right that he never saw it tucked away in the corner but our roommate. Our roommate.

THIS MAN TELLS ME “oh yeah i know”

I KNOW??!!!??

He is fondling something so large I’m afraid it’s gaining sentience every time he showers and just… didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t think it was important. He claims it was there for like a week. I highly doubt.

We (my partner and I, roommate did not help not even to wipe down HIS OWN SOAP BOTTLE) had to drench like the whole bathroom in bleach and I had to leave for several hours because asthma.

I clean the whole bathroom myself now.