#Idk how you can see someone in a wheelchair and decide they don't need it

[serenhob]

I think people need to understand that 'fakers' are a much smaller issue to disabled people than 'fake claimers'

First of all a lot of people who 'fake' mental illness/neurodivergance are not 'faking it', they may not be neurodivergent/have a specific mental illness but most of the time they think they have do.

Faking normally implies a degree of awareness or malice but a lot are just relating to things that they are not fully informed of and coming to the conclusion that they are neurodivergen/disabled. Who/what does this effect?

Not a lot. There may be some misinformation (which obviously isn't good) but nothing overtly harmful to disabled people. To access any degree of accommodation you need a diagnosis so people aren't taking anything away because they will be denied.

And yes there are those select few people who do have awareness and malice in what they are doing, often to illicit sympathy and get money. It is these types of people who fake a physical disability in addition to mental and neurodivergence. But these are very rare.

Fake claimers however, are far more common and pervasive.

They are everywhere, they do it to actually disabled people. It is very disturbing to see in real life.

I have genuinely had strangers come up to me and say that I don't actually need my cane and try and take it off me. My own family members have taken my cane away from me and left me until they brought it back. I have had people tell me that when they push me and I fall that I made myself fall over. I have had people tell me that because I was able to hold onto my cane as they tried to take it away from me that I am lying about needing pencil grips. This is actively harmful.

And it not only happens with the people around you but with those there to help disabled people.

Due to personal bias there are professionals who say that you dont look disabled/autistic/neurodivergent/etc just because you do not present in a certain way (particularly with neurodivergent people who are denied for not being a 6 year old boy because that's how they think its 'supposed' to look).

Women and people of colour have been denied and misdiagnosed with conditions like hysteria, Bpd and anxiety disorders or, if it is physical, stress, hormones, periods, etc in place of the disability they actually have all because their conditions research was focused on white men/boys.

Ambulatory wheelchair users are told they don't need a wheelchair because they are not paralysed. Ignoring the fact that people use the mobility aid that suits them instead of being denied because they don't 'suit' the mobility aid.

If disability does not look how people initially imagined suddenly its not a disability at all.

It is a systemic and social issue that persists and is made worse by people getting upset over some random girl on tiktok saying she has Adhd.

If you do not like people being ill informed then advocate for education.

Fake claiming is a big part of abelism that we ignore and that needs to change.

[todomitoukei]

as something positive for a change from the gloom and misery we are all going through after this horrible ending, can you share how would you want Touya and Todofamily's ideal ending to go?

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share my very detailed version of what the ending should be (I tried to keep it short but alas, I failed).

First of all, let's assume Shigaraki and Toga died (don't worry, I'm bringing them back!) and Touya is in that tank, supposedly almost dead. Here's a shortened (it's not short) version of what I the ending could be instead and no, I don't care if it's unrealistic, at this point anything is better-written than what Hori came up with anyway:

While Touya is still alive, he gets closer to dying, enabling him to see people that have died but haven't "crossed over" yet (yes, I was obsessed with Ghost Whisperer growing up don't @ me), namely Shigaraki and Toga, who are on the verge of being able to do so, yet believe that Shigaraki might be able to bring them back and also heal Touya (look, I haven't properly read this manga but something something the decay quirk was half of the Overhaul quirk minus the option to undo damage? So in this version, he can somehow undo damage now, yes, I make the rules<3).

Anyway, before doing any of this they actually need to contact Touya because people are about to perform an autopsy? cremate? Toga, so they want to stop that to make it easier to bring her back to life.

They explain all of this to Touya and tell him he needs to tell someone to bring Toga's body to where he is to make this whole thing easier. Fortunately, Natsuo is visiting him in that moment (he deserves to be included because he is best boy<3). Long story short, Toga's body is being brought to where Touya is (They also had to bring in the Chief of Police and Hawks for this special situation), and Shigaraki manages to resurrect her.

She also still had some of Twice's blood, which she uses to turn into him (probably insults Hakws as revenge<3) and create a copy of Shigaraki - the plan is basically for Shigaraki to find a way to take over the copy of his body. He manages to do so before also restoring Touya's body to a non-dying state again.

They then have to sit down with the Chief of Police and Hawks to discuss what happened and also to make a deal for the future since putting the villains in jail when the heroes get to keep living life despite the crimes they committed is bs etc etc, therefore Shigaraki pushes for all the lov members to be released from prison and also receive support from the HPSC (Idk what they changed their name to) - an actual second chance for them to start anew, a life without crime etc.

They settle on being given a building for them to live in and start a sort of shelter for kids like they once were; kids that are on the street, the kind of kid that their society doesn't deem worthy of saving, that people turn away from and that could potentially turn to crime as a last resort just like they did.

So in the end, Spinner and Compress get released from prison - and yes, Compress gets his ass back - and they all get to live and work together. They somehow also bring back Kurogiri.

Also, Touya has had enough of his father monologuing about how sad and pathetic he is so just like Natsuo, he decides to not talk to him anymore because he finally realizes that his father is simply not worth it. In other words, Endvr is out of the picture once and for all.

Rei will also be involved in the new lov project because you cannot tell me that this woman spent 10 years locked away in a mental hospital only to be released and push the man that put her in the mental hospital in the first place around in his wheelchair that he is more than capable of using on his own??? (It's so painfully obvious that a man wrote this story) So she becomes the lov mom and is finally free from her abuser too.

Fuyumi can move in with them too, she and Toga deserve to have a sister/female friend because I can only imagine how tough it was for Toga to only be around men after big sis mag died. Touya will try really hard to be a good big brother now so Fuyumi can finally relax. And by relax I mean Touya will annoy the shit out of her and let her forget all her responsibilities and feel like a kid again. Justice for all the bnha girlies who otherwise only exist to serve men or die because god forbid a teenage girl shows emotions and does a bit of stabbing once in a while.

Natsuo and his girlfriend will also move in with them. Once Touya hears about Natsuo's wedding plans he has a serious word with him and Natsuo promises him to wait a little longer and get married for the right reasons instead of out of spite because both Natsuo and his girlfriend deserve better. Besides, since Natsuo is studying something similar to social work, he can help the lov with their project (and gain work experience at the same time!).

Obviously there is also room for Shouto and he stays over for the weekend and also visits during the week. Touya learns to make soba for him (not like the failed attempt Natsuo and Shouto had in one of the light novels lol). Touya also teaches Shouto some social skills - it's unclear whether this is good or bad.

This way, Shouto can also finally spend some quality time with his family and be treated like the kid he still is instead of having to be a hero for his own family. Compress can become some kind of father-figure for him. Also, Shouto and Shigaraki bond over being the youngest sibling. Touya calls them out for being the youngest every chance he gets.

In summary, the lov and Todofam live together in peace and they all support each other in figuring out who they are etc etc.

The End.<3

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

[geekthefreakout]

Thank you for your "we need to combat people's black and white views in media” post. It’s nice to see someone have a reasonable opinion about something. I feel like a lot of DC comic spaces have the most bizarre takes and honestly think it’s why the state of comics is so bad right now and writers are afraid to take chances or write things that are so generic.

Do you have any unpopular opinions about Babs or Jason? Or anything you would like to see in future comics? You said you enjoyed Jason as a character but what’s your ideal Jason and how do you think he should be written?

Wow, what a lovely ask, thank you Nonny!

First, cuz I know I'm gonna ramble on about the other things- yes, DC is a goddamn mess and at least 48% of the reason is that fans feel especially entitled these days, which makes writers either overly cautious or extremely defensive of anything they try. Fandom spaces can get very toxic very quickly cuz of the whole black-and-white morality thing and the aforementioned entitlement that makes people feel like they get to dictate the direction the art they consume takes. You don't get to do that, people! Stop it.

For Babs- idk if I have unpopular opinions. Like most people, I think she was wonderful and *important* as Oracle, and I wish they would do more than pay lip service to her disability. On the other side of that, I understand that DC Editorial is a mess and that if a writer ever DOES decide to follow through on that "chip in her spine won't work forever" thing, they will need to cut through a lot of red tape to get permission to do so, so I don't really get mad when writers have her as Batgirl still, or have her bounce between Batgirl and Oracle. If she ever does become a full time wheelchair user again, I hope it's done in a respectful way that supports her agency, rather than how TKJ did her. The Young Justice show had an interesting take on that which I didn't mind.

My unpopular Jason opinion is probably that I liked the All-Caste stuff from RHATO N52 and I think letting Jason have a niche as a Bat that deals with mystical stuff and with the nitty-gritty of the criminal underground is a good way to set him apart and give him his own stuff to do outside of Bat Events. Also Generation Outlaw was a cool concept and I enjoy the idea of Jason reluctantly inheriting Bruce's tendency towards "Debatably Accidental Child Acquisition."

That said, my ideal Jason functions as a foil to Batman. I don't want them to be enemies, but I do want them to push each other and challenge each other. I want Jason to poke holes in Bruce's crime fighting philosophy, but to also still have a good relationship with his family. I want Jason to struggle with his own philosophy, as he did in Zdarsky's "Cheer" story, because the way he does things IS riskier than how Bruce does things and sometimes the ends don't justify the means.

I think Jason (like Damian, but Jason is more mature) works wonderfully in stories about redemption and self-discovery as well. Task Force Z had appeal for me in that sense, because I also think that Two-Face (who Jason has history with in his first post-crisis story) ALSO works well in story lines like that.

In the future... Well, my opinion is that there are just too many Bat books and Bat Events. I want DC to let their other characters breathe. My ideal set up would be Batman as a solo series and Tec as a team book, like it was when Tynion wrote it. Then Urban Legends for miscellaneous Bat stories. Nightwing of course with his solo (and please, PLEASE, let that boy stay in Bludhaven and take care of business, stop dragging him back to Gotham every time a rogue sneezes, he has his own shit to worry about). The rest of the Batfam can pop up in Tec and Urban Legends and then be with their respective teams. Titans, YJ, Outlaws, Outsiders, etc. (ETA BoP to this potential team book list of course!)

And then pls no huge Bat Events for at least a year and a half. Let them BREATHE, for fuck's sake!!!!

So... Yeah! Thanks Nonny!

[kaeyapilled]

u should tell me more about asa PRETTYPLEASE

AUGH I REALLY DONT HAVE MUCH. does it have to be only the genshin related parts? well yes ill stick to that because he has like four different flavors depending on what universe i put him in. okay so

this is roughly what he looks like. i thought i had more good picrews of him but i dont apparently<//3 well heres some fun facts about him like in general to start

- best friends with my oc sofia who. i haven't really put into the genshin universe. but if the people ask i can talk about her too loll

- ambulatory wheelchair user, typically uses a cane, has Some chronic illness that i dont really know which,, pots probably. unspecified chronic pain. but the thing is im not chronically ill or disabled myself so i need to search more stuff before im super confident exploring this side of his character lmao

- sadly he is just like baizhu. the chronically ill doctor trope is already filled in genshin but there's always space for someone else! right!

- not pictured here but sometimes i make him have wings. i still haven't decided if he should actually have them or not. when he has wings only one is functional so he can't quite Fly

- wings or no wings he likes birds a lot!

- i chose his name because it means healer or doctor in....hebrew i think? according to google? and it also means just. "wing". in my mother tongue portuguese so kshdksh hitting two symbolisms with one stone

- now focusing on the genshin part. his father is the actual doctor in charge of the cathedral infirmary but is currently on the varka expedition (look this guy's father is. I don't know what to do with him. like in any universe. idk if i give asa oc syndrome and make him a full orphan or if i just leave the man alone because he's a solid guy! a good father! anyways i digress) and asa is in charge sort of in a similar situation to jean being acting grandmaster.

- i think he's besties with barbara. she's like a younger sister. because i think hes around jeans age. (and dilucs and kaeyas i think all of them r around the same age)

- he has an anemo vision but don't ask me how he got it

- catalyst user and healer but do not ask me like what sort of talents he'd have i dont know. don't ask me if he's a 4* or a 5* either i don't know,, but if he were to have a banner his like. title? idk? would be, and this is kinda stupid, Healing Winds of Birdsong - does it not sound like something you'd read on a genshin banner. i think does

- hes very devout to barbatos but at the same time i kinda enjoy the idea of him. questioning some stuff about the archons and gods too. like those medieval(? do not quote me on this) philosophers who thought extensively about religion and the human condition and. etc. does this make sense

- if he knew the annoying bard is no one other than the anemo archon i think he'd combust

- he picks up his fantasy testosterone prescription at the alchemy shop. the image of albedo and sucrose coming up with hrt is just too dear to me

- i want him and kaeya to kiss just because im a kaeya lover and. why not. but i don't have anything developed about them At All forgive me

do you want to see my cringefail voicelines i wrote?

Something to Share: Did you know that Mondstadt alone has over three hundred species of birds? Around the city area, you mostly see pigeons and falcons, but the diversity in places with less human activity is much bigger. Also, a lot of the birds migrate during the winter months, towards warmer climates like Liyue and even Sumeru. Oh, and— um... Forgive me, I seem to have been talking for a while... It's a topic that interests me.

Favorite Food: I tend to like more savory dishes. In fact, Sofia won't let me cook anymore, because I "put too much salt in the food". You know, I don't see the problem. It tastes fine to me.

- oh!! on the topic of favorite foods! i tried coming up with a special dish for him and i ended up picking northern smoked fowl because. vibes. but its a stamina dish and i kinda wish his special dish was a hp one.,, but anyway:

Special Dish: Doctor's Orders

Asa's specialty. The same recipe for smoked fowl with vegetables that's been passed down in Mondstadt for years, with the doctor's own twists. It's a little heavy on the salt, but it tastes really good overall.

plus character voicelines

About Barbara: Barbara? Oh, we wouldn't manage at the cathedral if it wasn't for her. I have taught her a lot, but the healing techniques she comes up with never fail to amaze me. Her presence always brightens up the place and soothes even the most ill of patients. I hold her in very high regards.

About Rosaria: I can't say I approve of Sister Rosaria's negligence towards her duties in the church, or of her blatant disrespect towards the Anemo Archon. That being said... I think I admire her conviction to simply do whatever she wants. Perhaps trying to force her into the role of nun is a bit foolish. This is the city of freedom, after all, is it not?

About Venti: The bard? *sigh* Archons above. He'll sing beautiful melodies about Lord Barbatos, then turn around and immediately slur out the most sacrilegious things I have ever heard in my life. Being around him for too long is exhausting and he always brings trouble. Yet, I find that I can't truly dislike him. Heh, he's an interesting one for sure.

and my entirely self indulgent and overly long About Kaeya voiceline:

About Kaeya: Sir Kaeya? Way too much of a charmer. That overly confident attitude ought to backfire on him sometime. It's easy to get swept away in all his smooth talk, but after a while you start to see it for what it is: a convoluted way to either change the subject or make you the center of his jests... *sigh* Well... I suppose that, when he wants, he isn't entirely awful to talk to... Hm? What? Who– who told you that? No! Why would I go to the tavern "just to see him"!? That's– *ahem* It isn't like that. Is it that far fetched that I might enjoy a drink during my moments of leisure? It's not my fault if the Captain is there all the time... Hmph, did Sofia put you up to this?

yeah. what else can I say about him. i thought of writing character stories for him but couldnt find enough ideas. here's the only salvageable paragraph:

... Asa can recall exactly what Mother Maria told him when he came to her, realization still fresh in his mind, desperate for some sort of guidance.

"The winds lead each of us through different paths. Barbatos has granted you with the power to choose whoever you wish to be; that is part of His gift of freedom."

Like a gust of cool wind that brings with it epiphanies, something clicked inside his chest, like the pieces of a puzzle falling into place.

And it was on that day that the little girl who used to dream of nunhood grew into a sharp young man who named himself "Asa."

okay this is all I've got. for now

[catgirlwheels]

I posted 14,473 times in 2022

That's 2,616 more posts than 2021!

95 posts created (1%)

14,378 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mossy-scaled-dragon

@astralwasteland

@birdfuckeronline

@natalieironside

@drippity

I tagged 10,566 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#friend - 2,814 posts

#oh dear - 781 posts

#oh no lol - 722 posts

#oh neat - 624 posts

#oooh pretty - 597 posts

#lol - 586 posts

#awwwww - 514 posts

#pfft lol - 467 posts

#🤣 - 418 posts

#paws.txt - 378 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#does the right thing when it counts but they're a social outcast/grumpy asshole/antivillain/etc because of trauma or repeated rejection

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Oh whatever, tumblr search is useless. Excuses to take new pictures! Yay!

Can't see much of the white in the middle and the pockets are kinda useless this way but WHATEVER I'm gay as fuck ^.^

19 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#4

Why is she like this with these treats we have no idea. But she loves them lol

24 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#3

I am grateful to the writers of game mods. I used to do that, I know how hard it is. Whether you're doing what the devs should've done in the first place or adding things of your own, I appreciate the heck out of you. Thank you for making our games better.

38 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#2

I call this a bag plan.

It hacks my brain, disregards rules, breaks blocks, and helps me think about multiple things at once without losing track.

One time in school I needed a break from banging my head against a programming assignment and I went to the only place I ever went off campus: Chipotle. Got my burrito in my paper bag and for whatever reason I decided to dismantle the bag while I ate. Might've just been a little destruction as a treat, idk. Got to the end of my burrito and decided I couldn't avoid thinking about the assignment forever.

I had this nice big paper in front of me that was definitely trash and I couldn't possibly write anything wrong on it because it was already trash, and it was big and there were no lines and no start and I just picked a spot and started writing. Had a different thought and started writing somewhere else. Broke my block, fixed 3/4 of the programming problems without a computer in front of me, moved from the end of the world in my head to a solid idea of what I needed to do in a couple hours and a paper bag.

After acing that group project I got myself a roll of craft paper and just started doing this regularly. I've done this for story scenes, working out different people's needs, designing game levels, shopping lists, whatever.

I used to just keep one of these folded up in my pocket as a notepad (gods I miss clothes with pockets), but it unfolds so I can dump my brain into it if I need to. It's great and I love it.

See the full post

78 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Things I would like non-wheelchair people to know

Do not touch my chair. Unless I've lost control of my chair and am rolling into traffic, if I have not given you explicit permission, that is a huge violation of my personal space. Think of grabbing my push handles like grabbing someone's shoulders. That's not a thing you just do to people.

If I don't know you, nothing about my chair, my body, my situation, or what I'm doing is any of your gods damned business. Think of commenting on these things to a stranger like catcalling. (If I know you it's probably fine, as long as you're respectful. Just like any other personal topic you might ask someone about.)

If I decline an offer of help, do not insist. I know what things I need help with a lot better than you do. (Nothing wrong with offering, help is definitely welcome sometimes, just respect my response.)

Okay, things that should be obvious out of the way, here's what the post is actually about:

I still prefer the terms "walking" and "running" for the ways I get around. I might say "rolling" or "wheeling" if the distinction is relevant for some reason, since I am ambulatory some of the time, but in general I prefer the same words as you tall people.

I need a much wider space to turn, or especially to turn around, than I do just to pass through a space.

Ask me, rather than assuming you know whether or not I can do something. I would love to go hiking with you, actually, if the trail is light and friendly enough to wheels. No, I can't ice skate, but I'd still rather you ask if I want to come along than assume I don't want to be included.

Which activities are notably more difficult is often not obvious. Popping a wheelie to get over a small amount of difficult terrain or even climbing a single step (if I have something to pull myself up with) can actually be pretty easy. A long stretch of ground tilted slightly to the left or right takes a ton of effort. Carrying anything that fits in my lap is trivially easy, but transporting anything that doesn't fit in my lap is quite hard (though I recently discovered my vacuum fits nicely on my footplate if I wrap my legs around it a little which is cool.) I am constantly surprised by little things that are or aren't harder than I thought they'd be, or are actually easier than before because I'm sitting.

If you are in my path, you moving suddenly is actually really unpleasant for me. I know you're there, I'm not going to run you over. If you're in my way, please do move! But jerking suddenly makes you unpredictable and I might have to stop suddenly to be certain everyone is safe while I process the change, just like if I were driving a car. Also like driving a car, stopping suddenly is unpleasant and a lot of effort, but the small adjustment to my direction I was planning to make is very easy. (Same goes for bikes honestly, or any other vehicle. That's what the chair is, a vehicle.)

If we're walking around together and need to get past some stairs, it's nice if you come with me on the ramp, especially if that ramp is out of the way. It can be really isolating to have to go a different way than everyone else.

If we need to walk close together for whatever reason, you walking directly in front of me is best avoided if possible. Bumping into your heel with my metal footplate is going to be a lot more unpleasant for both of us than it would be if I were on my feet.

In general, you should let me speak for myself. It's my joints that don't work, not my brain or my voice. But. If someone else is being disrespectful, your voice is likely much more impactful than mine in that situation. Use it.

I'm not expecting anyone to memorize these things; as long as you're treating disabled people like people, that's enough. And if you want to do more than that but don't know how, respectful questions are generally welcome. I just wanted to share these thoughts, for people who don't live with them all the time. There are a lot of little differences to being seated all the time that you just don’t think about until you’re there.

Also, while I think most of this is generally true for anyone in a wheelchair, obligatory reminder that I speak only for myself.

3,127 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

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[swimmingclassicrockpizzawombat]

Nonsensical disorganized OFFENSIVE rant bc I have no one to talk to, an everyone tells you you can only trust in or rely on yourself and everyone is ultimately alone.

Idk Warning: triggering if you consider yourself my friend ig. It's a rant let me express my fucking feelings man. I need to let it out. You don't have to read this if it'll offend you. Might as well go in my notes app but writing here is comfier and can let me send it to the void.

I guess I will write this here bc it's a better place to write than even my notes app and I know no one actually gives a ducking fuck about what I write or have to say ever.

And I kinda have no one to talk to/rely on... Which ironically is what what I'm writing is about lol

But lately I've been genuinely asking what the point of connecting with other people is?

Idk maybe this is why I have found it so hard to interact with people and just get by with my own company. I just don't see the point.

Like, everyday you hear how you must be self-reliant and self-sufficient because people won't always be there for you... Nay people will NEVER be there for you, you can't trust people or rely on them, either bc they have their own problems or whatever.

And you don't want to come across as a needy little bitch like me, (that's why people always leave you -my therapist and my family)

And surely all my life I've tried to get by on my own. Hell, early on I learned that I couldn't even rely on my own parents (the people that are supposed to take care of you and love you?) for anything and had to do everything myself. I was either neglected emotionally and physically (learning to make myself food) or I even had to parent my own parents. Like, my mom always used me as an emotional dumpster, and whenever my parents couldn't figure something out they'd turn to me, I cannot count the amounts of times they used me as a counselor to help them decide whether they should geta divorce or not... Like my mom talking to me about... how miserable her sex life was.

And... I also have always had the tendency for being the "therapist" friend, even people who didn't know me used to use me to dump their problems on me in middle school bc I was so "mature" and a "good listener" and always knew just "what to say".

If I had a dollar for everytime someone has told me I should study psychology I probably wouldn't need to work at all at this point.

One of the few people from my childhood who still talks to me (more on that later) has even claimed that I literally saved her life on a couple of occasions. I won't go into too much detail out of respect for her privacy but... Let's just say that she was going through a real rough time in middle school, she came from a really neglectful family where her older sister played the part of her mother only to pass away the same year she found out she had a condition that disabled her. On top of that her sister had left behind her three kids who, fell into my friend's caregiving so (first you loose your sister/mother figure, then you are disabled and then you have to take care of three kids while you're in middle school).

Needless to say she was in a rough spot, and many people started treating her differently or didn't talk to her anymore, I remember I would always see her outside of her classroom during recess alone either in a wheelchair or next to her crutches and I would just... Talk to her IG? It could be bc I'm neurodivergent, but I never saw her any differently and would still talk about the nerdy interests we used to talk to about before everything, like the most recent Marvel movie etc (way before it was "cool" to like marvel). Maybe at most it was a "yo what's up? When did you start using crutches? It's been a while since I saw you! Have you watched this movie yet?". Maybe it's bc I'm super dumb and oblivious but I never even "realized" she was technically "disabled" until much later, for me she was just my friend, and sure maybe sometimes I noticed I walked faster and she struggled catching up, but it was never a big deal for us? For me she was the same person I knew before, and I even admired how much of a badass and strong she was? Idk, she was always so tough and never let people get on top of her. She was literally the person you could always go to if you wanted to kick someone's ass or insult them.

I did however notice that at some point she seemed really off and down and when I asked her she told me about her sister, which I didn't know about. I don't exactly remember what my response was but she told me I was the only one who knew what to say and was able to comfort her and actually "see" her, and she later confessed I literally saved her life that day.

I guess I just tried to be the friend I wish people were to me for the longest time?

I remember I would also do my best to remember people's birthdays so I could surprise them that day and make them feel like at least I cared about them even if no one else did (hehe projecting much am I?). If someone was struggling I tried to be there bc I wish someone would have been there for me many times before.

And I guess it was nice... But then I've also learned I can't really rely on anyone but myself?

Like, I'm the person who's always there for people when they need me, but the time I need someone to be there for me (even if it's just a shoulder to cry on) there's absolutely no one?

I'm the one who remembers everyone's birthdays, but no one remembers mine. Or the one who always has to be strong for others but can never rely on anyone else so I'm left in this state where I always have to be strong and it gets exhausting? Where I always have to pick myself up without anyone's help or anyone even giving a fuck about how I'm doing.

And I know it's not always bc people "suck" or don't "want" to be there, but they just aren't?

Remember that friend I mentioned? I love her to hell and back, but I also know I can't rely on her when I need someone. It's hard to explain but everytime I've needed someone she either wasn't there, told me to get over it or the conversation ended with me trying to comfort her (?). For example the day a loved one died and I needed to talk to someone I thought maybe I could rely on her but she ended up just talking about her sister (years later) and I ended up being the one comforting her instead, when I was the one who at the time needed comforting. (And when I've tried communicating this it has turned out into her thinking she's a horrible person and me trying to reassure her she's not, even though I was just telling her I needed someone to be there for me)

(WHICH I don't mind, I would always be there to listen to her but that time I wasn't in the best headspace to be dealing with other's people's emotions on top of my own!).

Later the same people I had always been there for literally left the moment I came out of the closet.

A few months ago another friend told me she loved candy corn and it was her favorite food/candy but they don't sell them where she lives, so one time when I found some I immediately thought of her and bought them... Well just when I was talking with her and telling her about getting her candy corn and talking about seeing her so I could give them to her, she just ghosted me soon afterwards and I have never known why or why she just... Ghosted me out of nowhere.

A close friend of mine actually stopped talking to me after he found out I had a depression diagnosis... No not bc I was a "bummer" when I was with him or bc I talked about my issues with him, just bc I HAD depression and he didn't want to be associated with "those people" (that and his gf... Who I helped him get with actually, didn't want him to talk to me anymore).

(I actually remember how I was in a phonecall with him when I was telling him, and I was crying... Actually the first and only time I cried in his presence... bc my dad and brother where making me take care of them and treating me like shit bc I was "a woman" and it was therefore my "job" and when I told him about my depression he just got disgusted and hung up and never spoke to me again, he only ranted to his friend that people like me just didn't want to get better and where not good to be around).

It seems that everyone eventually leaves when they find something, even if it's the most trivial thing about me they don't like?

And idk ig.

Even my fucking therapist was like "fuck you you don't try hard enough I'm done with you".

Like everytime I could use someone, I'm left completely alone?

And at the best of times it's bc they themselves are not available but the other half it's literally people using me? Or just not giving a shit?

I remember a time when I opened up about... certain sexual abuse I had been through and that girls response was "oh well you'll get over it", which really hurt? Bc it was really hard in the first place for me to open up about it? Or then there's the time my uncle died or when I got COVID and no one even asked me how I was doing, one of them even went as far as being like "oh okay well talk to you again when you're back to being okay and fun and not as much of a bummer to talk to" (It was actually the same girl... Which btw I later found out was only interested in/playing with me and hitting on me bc I had become some sort of fetish... Being trans.... Between her and her bf... Also oh yeah she didn't even tell me she had a boyfriend, I had to find out).

Point is, people are only there when you're fun to be with, or when you can provide something for them. No one really likes you for you, and when they find something about you they don't like (even if it's you being queer) they scram. And it's nice and dandy and all, I can be there for people right? I can be strong and only rely on myself, it's what I've done all my life. I've learned that no one is to be trusted. But the thing is... Sometimes I get tired of being strong all the time, of always being there for others when no one's there for me. Of being the friend I wish I could have but having no friends ever be like that with you (hell even remember your birthday or... Care when you are going through shit... Like REALLY care, not tell you "go to therapy, I'm your friend not your therapist jeez" when someone close to you dies, say "I'm here for you" and then just ghost you or tell you to "just get over it" or "get back to me when you are fun again" or... Just talk over you and talk about themselves).

Heh I bet most of the people who consider themselves my friends even now don't know that much about me... Like my interests or things I don't like or a stupid fact about me... Even though I could write an entire Wikipedia page on them.

Hell I'm not a stranger to people using me to talk about themselves and completely ignoring me when I say something about me.

And it's not for lack of communication or trying or reaching out on my part, I have asked for help on multiple occasions, or tried to reach out being like "hey I'm not okay, I could really use a friend right now" to no response.

Just today I was going through a crisis and I asked for help, in my IG stories... 30 people saw it (some of which I'd call friends) and not one replied nor cared. (Which yeah? Instagram? I actually felt pretty stupid tbh and ended up deleting it but idk it still stuck in my mind).

Again, it's nice and dandy but sometimes it does leave me with the question of what the point is (?)

Like, what is the point of having a romantic partner if people are untrustworthy and unreliable? Why would you want to be with someone who's never going to support you or care about you? Ig sex would be one but that's what hookups are for, or paying rent but then you can just get a roomate?

Even meeting people on dating sites seems to end in just wanting to fuck or even if not no one really tries to get to know you or help you get to know them it's just "yo let's meet up, let's fuck" and me being like "uuuuuhhhhhh I don't even fucking know you?????". Or on the OTHER hand you establish a good conversation and open up and then you get "yo, send noods", and me "UHM no I'm not really into that sorry" and then the conversation resumes and you think it's going fine only for then to be like "yo common I want to see you naked send nudes open a Snapchat for me so you can see my dick" not giving a shit that you said that makes you uncomfy, nor giving a shit about how you... Feel or about you at all, it's all so you can give them sexual pleasure.

What's the point of having friends if it's just people who use you till you have nothing left to give and eventually dump you when they get tired of you?

Why bother making social connections when every self help advice and therapist will tell you that you can't rely on people and must be self sufficient etc?

For emotional support? Well no, not even that, they will tell you you have to be there for yourself so emotional support is clearly not it.

To have fun? Everyone says you have to be happy with yourself and have fun by yourself... YOU CAN'T RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE.

Maybe I'm just broken for how clingy and needy I've always been and that's why people keep taking advantage of me lol

What are friends for? What's the point of "socializing" if you have to do everything yourself? If you can never rely on no one? If even if you're always there for people it's inevitable that no one will be there for you when you most need it?

Idk man, I'm just feeling shitty right now. I'm tired of feeling like I have to be strong and okay all the time.

Of only being able to rely on myself and trust myself etc, of everything always falling on me.

It's like... What's the fucking point man?

Also people always use me to vent and I try myself to give advice or listen or whatever but no one does that for me ever so like I guess I'm coming to the place where... Let me look I was cancelled bc OTHER people decided I'm a monster and I deserved to be cancelled... Cool.

Anyways, off into the void you go dear post.

At least I'm not crying anymore, just depressed. But hey since it's not external anymore, that's better at least I can now pretend I'm fine <3

[benvoliio]

#squad, supernatural, and track and field in general! ufo and chess board for the gay aunts (idk who they are but I like them already). microscope for robo-mom (who I also already love), and contact and mixtape for the bad guy you don't have a name for yet!!!

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU alright buckle up kiddos this is gonna be a ride here we go

IN GENERAL

#squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

okAY so for my main ocs the original #squad™️ is Eric, Marin, Jaden, and Kit! at the very beginning of my story each of them meets Christopher (who’s new in town) independently and decide that they simply Must be friends with this kid because everyone loves chris (i love chris). then they all figure out they met the same person and chris becomes part of their squad and also the fifth member of their band (that they desperately needed their band was average at best but now its Stellar) chirs & eric end up dating, and also marin and jaden end up in a poly relationship with someone from a slightly different social circle, Alexandria! kit doesnt end up with anyone romantically but theyre ok w that its cool

i have another, completely unrelated set of ocs that are part of a thing thats gonna be heavily inspired by r&j and that’s ben (bennie), charlie (charlotte), and jo (joanne)!! ben’s the mom friend (the human embodiment of the phrase “stressed out”), charlie has the stupid(ly fun albeit sometimes dangerous) ideas, jo is a total romantic with her head in the clouds (bet u cant guess who these three are based on lol)

spellbook: are any of your OC(s) supernatural? if so, what are they/what are their abilities?

uuh not really but i used to have a group of four ocs long abandoned that had elemental powers OH also i have an oc named peach who’s half human half weird avian creature alien idk and she has wings and telepathic powers as well as the ability to blast things w lightning-like energy and she also has a gf named jasper who belongs to @tycutiovevo​

track & field: which (if any) of your OCs are athletic? what sports to they play? which of your OCs would go HARD in P.E.?

jaden runs!! she was also on All The Teams back in middle school. alexandria is super strong and works out regularly and wears muscle tanks to show off her muscles. chris is below average at all sports excluding, for some reason, floor hockey.  bennie plays tennis to focus & relax and charlie used to be on the volleyball team until she got expelled lmao. the aunts are ex rescue agents sooo that requires some physical activity, Team Leader Winter is a current rescue agent (in kickass heels!!), the robomoms do a lot of flying but they’re robots so idk if that counts

THE GAY AUNTS™️

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

okAY! so The Aunts are how i refer to Eric’s adoptive moms, their names are Geneva and Manami and they’re an ex rescue agent couple who met through a rescue agency that goes and breaks kids out from sketchy underground organizations! both Eric and Jaden are kids they rescued and then adopted & they’re literally the best family ever i love them. the kids call them Neva and Nami instead of mom & mom lol UH ok identifying qualities.... Gene was recruited to the agency in france, speaks french english japanese and ancient greek (because why not), is a major math nerd and can hack into just about anything. she’s got big red hair that has a life of its own, warm dark brown skin and golden brown eyes and small scars across the bridge of her nose and the right side of her bottom lip. Nanami was recruited from japan, speaks japanese french, english, italian, chinese and korean. she’s an amazing mechanic and inventor and also loves to cook! she’s got black hair that she keeps a little shorter than your average pixie cut, dark brown eyes, a tiny tattoo of a rose just below her left eyebrow above her cheekbone, and she lost the lower half of her left leg in a particularly difficult rescue so she built herself a cool prosthetic leg, she also sometimes uses a sweet wheelchair she built that Geneva decked out with all sorts of awesome features!!! as for gender/sexuality: both of them identify as female and gay as hell also theyre in love and married

chess board: who is the most logical? or the schemer/planner?

honestly both of them are pretty logical, probably typically Manami comes up with a lot of good concepts and Geneva comes up with plans to make them work

ROBOMOM!!!

microscope: zoom in -- describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

okay robomom is technically eric’s birth mother. i can explain that if you want but this is asking about insignificant details soooooo robomom is a robot specially designed and trained to nurture babies! she can fly! she became self aware and taught herself to speak using preprogrammed lullabies and “soothing responses”! she can also sing! despite belonging to the villains of my story she has Ultimate Faith in humanity and believes they are truly Good and i love her for it!!! robomom!!!

EVIL DUDE I DONT HAVE A NAME FOR

contact: how does your OC(s) feel about touch/physical contact? are they affectionate? if so, how do they display affection to others?

ohhh this is a good question for him thank you so he is seemingly just a somewhat important but also not the one In Charge member of the super terrible underground organization that is literally creating children in test tubes (Sketchy™️) but jokes on u he’s actually way worse than the person in charge of the whole thing. he is definitely not into touch unless it’s stabbing someone, literally just likes being cruel for the sake of being cruel, the only thing he feels anything resembling affection towards is his political goals and he will do anything to see them achieved including murder and torture. yeah. not a fun guy. (he stabs chris i hate him for that chris is sweet and has done nothing wrong)

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

Cold - Aqualung

bad_news - Bastille

Violence - The Unlikely Candidates

Two Evils - Bastille

My Way (MINOR KEY VERSION) - Frank Sinatra cover by Chase Holfelder 

[skywailer]

✉️ wOOP okay so um i'm charlotte my fave animal is either a horse or dolphin (wowie i'm so basic) my fave song is when the day met the night by patd i love the rain and the cold so much it makes me sO happy i don't believe in proper pUncTuAtIon and CaPiTaLizAtIoN when communicating online bc it looks ugly and screw the rULES (so im sorry) idk i say sorry too much but that ain't gonna stop me from apologizing uH and my favorite all time character is fred (pretend i sent this from my sideblog)

you are so cute, I can’t- ok, here you go!  Sorry it’s a bit late; I got wrapped up in writing but ta-da!

Wanna know what your first year at Hogwarts looks like through caffeinated eyes?

how you got your Hogwarts acceptance letter: you’d been hearing from friends that they were getting their letters, yet yours had yet to arrive.  Which was odd, because your magic has a way of rudely interrupting your daily routine- papers floating away from you when you’re flabbergasted about what to write, little rain storms trickling down on you in the middle of the night (you don’t really complain about those).  So what gives?  You weren’t sure what to make of it and, despite the nagging feeling of worry in your gut, you tried not to overthink it.  It was on a particularly cloudy August day that your letter arrived, and you weren’t even at the house to receive it.  Since it was cloudy, you decided to take your dogs out for a walk in hopes of catching a little rain (you wanted to show off your new purple polka-dot umbrella so badly).  It rained, but… uh, not the way you thought it would?  Apparently, there was a misunderstanding at the post about where exactly you lived; your family had moved during the summer, and were traveling.  You were sitting on a bench, watching Max and Daisy play in the dry grass, when something flat and wide slapped you on the nose.  From above.  Before you could really register the small envelope that slid off your face and onto your lap, there was another “plop” at your shoulder, another plop at your feet, your head, and when you looked up there was a small horde of owls dropping pellets of letters on you.  You didn’t even have time to open your cute umbrella.  Your dogs happily helped you clean up the puddle of letters and, for once, you worried about the grumbling clouds above.  Wouldn’t do to have a soggy supply list, right?

head canons about your trip on the Hogwarts Express: despite being positively giddy at the thought of going on this particular train, the second you charged through to platform 9 ¾, you were struck with nerves and remained still at the entrance.  Taking it all in: the heavy steam sticking to your pores like morning mist (except way more polluted, yikes) and the cacophony of kids yelling and parents audibly yanking out their hair trying to maneuver carts without crashing into one another, into other people’s running kids.  With a THWACK, someone’s cart ran into you from behind, and for a moment you wondered if you’d have to go to Hogwarts in a wheelchair.  A bit dramatic, especially since the cart barely hit you.  When a familiar voice heckled you from behind with an “Oi, move your bum!” your nerves melt.  A friend from your neighborhood has arrived and the fear of being alone vanished.  You boarded the train after a quick goodbye to your family, knowing from the herd that seats will be impossible to find, and you wanted to make sure you’re seated with a friend.  Right off the entrance you spotted the one, golden empty cabin.  You caught the eye of another student, tall and ginger, and with impossibly long legs down the corridor, and it was a very rigged race to the cabin.  Somehow, though, you two managed to crash into each other and your friend applauds your ability to get wedged in the doorway with a Pretty Cute Guy.  Unfortunately, Pretty Cute Guy had a family of gingers trampling down the corridor to score the cabin, too.  Since you were wedged in the doorway with him, you actually have a perfect spot to negotiate terms with him.  You ended up sharing the cabin with your friend, and new friends: the Weasleys.  The Pretty Cute Guy told you his name is Fred, but him and his twin brother made sure to trick you about who was who any time they returned to the cabin from food and bathroom runs.  You made sure to take advantage of their tallness to put up your luggage above the seats, and to take it back down at the end of the trip.  They have since made sure to make fun of your shortness.

what happened when you went head-to-head hat with the sorting hat: you come from a house of Hufflepuffs, so you were pretty certain what you were going to get as you approached the holy stool - even if the idea of being a Hufflepuff didn’t really sit well with you.  Something about that toil bit didn’t attract you.  But even though your favorite crew of redheads were Gryffindors, that didn’t seem right either- not for you.  You sat down, smiling, but your brain was pretty petrified: were you going to be revealed as a cunning devil, an enlightened bird, a brave lion or a determined honey-badger?  The hat sat on your head for a while trying to figure things out, because Merlin knows you were still figuring things out.  Eventually, it gave a huff and a puff and called out, “Ravenclaw!”  And while that’s been awesome to be decreed smart, you’re wondering when that’ll kick in homework-wise.  A little Hufflepuff determination would be nice around exam time.

who’s your squad: It’s hard to see you within the clump, since the Weasleys are a stretched out bunch of spaghetti strands, but - whenever someone can’t find you- people know which gingers you’re usually around.  The Twins were and continue to be a completely horrible influence on you, and when the three of you are in the same room together, it’s impossible to find an iota of peace or quiet.  Your first year was spent hanging out with Ron and Hermione (she’s the only one who can pick your butt into doing your homework, but she’s also a little annoying in that she actually reads in her leisure time and you…. well, you’ll get to her recommendations eventually).  You have, on multiple occasions, eyed them suspiciously when they talk to each other because there is something there and it’s fun to tease them.  You also love to keep the company of your fellow Ravenclaw, Luna, who shares your love of all things and who is always up for a small adventure outside to look at the sky, sit in the rain, or something else that …. isn’t exactly academic.

general first-year shenanigans you were up to while Harry was being Harry:

A majority of the points deducted from the Ravenclaw house was thanks to you.  You have a bad habit of talking in Professor Snape’s class, and he was very generous with how many points he’d take when your mouth opened.  He wasn’t the only professor to wish you’d write a little more and talk a little less.  

you’ve gotten at least two detentions for running late to class because you were sleeping in.  At least your house was spared point deductions?

Fred and George always had a way to sneak you out of those detentions anyway.

you’ve made it up to your house on various occasions, due to your creativity in class and ability to come up with answers on the fly.  This also helped loads when you needed to finish homework JUST before class started.

you nearly froze your butt off during the winter, hanging out in the astronomy tower, writing.  

when you accidentally found out that there was a three-headed dog, you refused to believe Ron when he said it was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen, because dogs are the best and you almost tricked him into telling you were it was.  Almost.

at the end of the year, as you got back on the train and Fred loaded your stuff above the seat for you, again, you realized two things:

1: you were crushing hard on that funny beanstalk of a boy and

2: you totally forgot to return the books you’d borrowed from Hermione and Cho.  And you hadn’t even read them.  Again.

[actuallyservicedogs]

Can you tell me like the proper way to fly with a SD? I'm taking a school trip in about a month or so and I might be taking my SD. I don't know what airline we're taking but her tasks are to help my pain (I have a psychical disability) but it is an invisible disability. I might have my wheelchair but idk about wheelchairs on airplanes either. How would the airline accommodate my wheelchair? And would I have to bring a note for my SD since her tasks are not psych?

Hi! I just recently flew with my SDiT and my wheelchair (two weeks ago) so I may be of some help!

First, no – as your disability is physical, you do not need to have a note for your dog. If you’d like to stay safe just in case you run into any access issues, you can bring vaccination records and a letter from your doctor but it isn’t legally necessary.  I’m gonna go through step by step how this worked for me, okay?

- First, when you buy your ticket (if you’re buying online) there should be an option for you to select that you have a disability. There was when I bought my last plane ticket. I marked that I have my own wheelchair and that I have an assistance animal. Southwest has free seating so this isn’t an issue but it would also be a good idea to call your airline after purchasing your ticket to see if you can get bulkhead seating. This simply allows more foot room. If they cannot give you bulkhead, you can ask if they can reserve a second seat for you to leave more room for you as well. If they can’t, it’s okay. It’ll just be a little squishy. 

- When you get to the airport, your first step is going to be to check in and get your boarding pass. As you’ll have a service dog, you need to go up and physically and check in. You won’t be able to use the kiosks or anything. They’ll mark that you have a dog on your ticket and they’ll likely take the brand, color, etc of your wheelchair. When I did it, the guy asked for my dog’s “papers” and I told him he was not legally allowed to ask me that question. That was the end of it. They took my luggage and checked it (since I was doing that) and put a luggage tag on my wheelchair as well. 

- You will then go to security. Most airlines will allow you one carry on and one personal item. I had my backpack and a bag with my SDiT’s items. I also had a wheelchair cushion that they needed to run through the x-ray too. What happens here completely depends on your situation. With your wheelchair, they will ask you if you can walk or if you need to go through in your chair. I was able to walk this time. If you cannot walk, they will have you wheel through a gate that also has a metal detector and then they will give you a pat down on the other side. They will give you a same-sex TSA agent and they check your pockets, arms, between your legs, under your breasts if you have them. They will also use a thing to check your hands and your chair for chemicals. 

I walked through for mine because I had my SDiT and I wanted to make sure things went smoothly. I took off all my things such as shoes, jackets, etc as you do normally. I also had to take off all of my service dog’s gear. This is something that you may need to work on with your dog: whenever I came in from outside with my dog, I had her sit, wait while I took her gear off, wait while I walked away, and then called her to me. We also worked on her putting her chin on my hand and me guiding her like that. This worked perfect for walking through security. She sat naked and waited for me to walk through, came through when called, and then walked with me to a chair they had waiting for me. They will likely check your hands for chemical residue too. The TSA agent I was working with brought me her collar and leash as soon as we got through security so that was nice.

- Once you’re through security, you’re good to go! If you decide not to bring your own chair, this is a great place to tell TSA you need assistance to your gate. A transfer chair or a wheelchair with someone to push you will be waiting on the other side to take you to your gate. If you brought your own chair, depending on how much time you have, you can just make your way to your gate on your own time!

- Once you get to your gate, you want to find that little desk that every gate has. They likely won’t do anything with your SD but they need to put a tag on your wheelchair to make sure the luggage guys keep it at the plane door and have it ready for you when you get to your destination. You will also be told that you qualify for pre-boarding. You get to board the plane first because you are disabled. They will also ask you if you can walk to your seat or if you need assistance. If you need help, there will be someone waiting for you to have a transfer chair for you to transfer to and they’ll use that to take you to your seat. 

- They’ll tell you that they are starting pre boarding soon. If you are receiving assistance, someone likely will have already approached you. If not, they’ll simply just let you board. I have a mat for my SDiT so I got into our seat first and got her mat. Once her mat was down, I told her to settle and that was it! Your SD cannot be on the seat (I had Cricket hop on for a minute because it was easier to move around in the cramped space but she didn’t stay there). If your dog has never flown before, have treats ready to give them during takeoff and landing. I had dog treats and cheese sticks in my SDiTs bag and they let it go through so that was good. If you like, you can have something quiet and not stinky for your SD to chew on depending on how long your flights are. I had two with a layover between so mine were pretty short. 

And that’s it! Southwest was pretty painless and everyone was very educated on disability and my chair and my dog. I have heard different stories from other people from different airlines. It will definitely help if you make sure they mark that you have an SD on your ticket when you purchase it whether it be through the website or calling the airline afterwards. 

People can feel free to add anything if I missed anything or if they have any other suggestions!

Good luck!

Chelsea