#Idk I might be sleep deprived but

[chaserofstarsandtheabyss]

Debating adding “in support of violent kinks” to my bio because I broke my “just block and move on” policy on one silly goofy post and got an absolute gem of a reply

[ldpdluvr]

one night, freshly turned louis feeds from lestat and he drinks so much that lestat carefully cradles his head in both of his big palms and gently pulls him away from his neck "mon cher, i have no more to give", he doesn't want to stop him but he's feeling faint and hungry again "I will go feed and come back home to you, saint louis"

in response louis looks up at him with big round eyes that hold so much hurt in them, lestat said he would take care of him, so why is he stopping him from feeding from him? he promised that he would give him the world so why can't he give him this? and now he wants to leave louis alone to go hunt..?

lestat obviously isn't privy to louis' thoughts anymore but he can see the glassiness that covers his eyes, he can see the sad frown on his face, he notices the way louis is looking at him but not really seeing him and decides that he won't can't leave him alone in this state

so he gathers louis further into his arms, pulls him onto his lap and holds him throughout the rest of the night, occasionally rubbing a hand down his back as if he's comforting a frightened puppy, and peppers kisses on his forehead, nose and cheeks because louis' makes a cute lil sound every single time that he does

When louis eventually comes back to himself he's a bit embarrassed by his actions and tries to pull away but lestat doesn't let him ofc, he holds him tighter and tells louis how sweet he was for him "louis you never told me just how much you liked my blood" he says, his smile evident in his voice

by the time sunrise comes, they have made their way to the coffin and louis is snuggled up to lestat with his face once again in his neck (this is louis comfort place), lestat has his arms wrapped tightly around him and just like that, completely surrounded by each other they fall into a deep sleep.

[purpurussy]

i’m really glad to see everyone saying that overall the show was amazing. i think because they made the bold choice to really go for it. like the boxing thing or the theories iceberg or the doll humping (can’t believe that’s a real thing i just said oh god) could’ve gone cringe if they hadn’t just fully committed to it. i knew i’d love it regardless but it’s sooooooo great to hear that it really was just a great fucking (heh) time. i’m that much more excited for my show now

Real it was SO GOOD!!! I have to be honest I was mentally preparing for it to be a bit cringe dsdfhkl but it really wasn't at all. My friend described it as having the exact right level of self-awareness, which I think was really accurate. They fully committed to everything, it felt like they were having a great time being on stage too! There were so many moments that made me genuinely laugh out loud, it was an incredible show and I really wanna see it again

[lorkai]

Concept I have to post before I feel asleep: NRC hosts a Parents' Day for the students' parents to visit their children and everyone is having a relatively fun day with their siblings, every but you. And so you hid yourself in the only place that nobody has a reason to go; Ramshackle. Thing is there's someone else who also has the same line of thought. Leona Kingscholar.

Leona, who is always second to Farena. Always the second prince, never just Leona. Leona, who efforts doesn't mean anything and nobody really tried to understand him, this Leona, who despite being smug and sarcastic all the time, doesn't want to meet his family.

And you both have an interesting chatting while drinking (whatever you want really but I just got back from my cousin's marriage and wine is a really good choice). By the end of the night you may have found you a new bestie or lovers, or whatever you want y'all to be, he feels seen by you and you have someone you can confide in on your darkest hours. This arrangement couldn't be better for the both of you.

[why-the-heck-not]

truly my best brain time is in the middle of the night caffeine & sugar rush. I think I just understood math, like some part of the general pattern of math if that makes sense. something clicked somewhere in my brain and I felt it

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Humans are very much a social species. We look to each other without even always noticing, for cues about how to interpret the world around us.

Unfortunately this often leads to people thinking stuff just isn't that serious because if it were, the people around me would be taking it seriously!

But the people around you do not always have the best view of the situation, and they can be wrong.

Some things you have to decide for yourself whether they're worth being concerned about, or worth acting on.

[disastrousduckss]

FCK IT ONCE AGAIN, I CAN'T- DROPPING THESE HERE SNSNSNSNSMSK

[moodyseal]

I got too deep into the Schema Theory while writing the paper for one of my exams and it got me thinking about Apollo's coping mechanisms yk

Basically the gist of this theory is that, in the eventuality that their primary needs are not satisfied during their formative years, a child might develop a bunch of different behavioural schemes in their adult life (which are too many to be listed here oh my god) that are a direct reflection of how the parent failed them during childhood

For example, one of these schemes is emotional deprivation, which is a person's tendency to emotionally distance themselves from other people due to the fact that they believe they won't be able to comfort them, and it's a scheme that's formed due to the guardian not satisfying the child's emotional needs. Basically it's formed through a "If my parent couldn't do it, then how could others?" sort of mentality

Another one, which I believe is very relevant here, is the sense of failure, which originates due to the guardian's immensely overbearing nature and the continuous dissatisfaction with the child's efforts. As an adult, the child in question believes that they're inept at everything, even if evidence points to the contrary, because of the fundamental belief that they hold that they're a failure

(Does it remind you of anyone?)

Now, these schemes tend to go hand in hand with modes, which are essentially coping mechanisms that the person uses to deal with whatever life throws at them and whatever negative emotion these schemes bring on. One of these modes is the *squints* scheme overcompensation? Anyway what it says on the article I got the info from is that basically people who use this coping mechanism tend to do the opposite of what their behavioural scheme tells them to do. If they're ashamed, they put down others. If they feel like a failure, they boast. (Again. Who does this sound like.)

AT FIRST it seems like a good coping mechanism but it's actually not, because the overcompensation leads to this vicious cycle where the more a person overcompensates, the more the scheme worsens. In Apollo's case, the scheme we're examining here is his sense of failure; in his overcompensation mode, to avoid feeling incompetent he tries to constantly put himself in the spotlight, drawing attention to his talents. However, he does it in such a ridiculous way (perhaps actually in some form of self-sabotage?) that the people around him insult those talents, call him a failure, and thus worsen his feeling of worthlessness.

(This might be tied to the punitive scheme as well, maybe? Considering how keen Zeus was on punishment, Apollo might've developed this scheme as a result, though over the centuries it could've shifted its focus from everyone to just him idk. The change between "I'm punishing everything and everyone for being so stupid, even my own son + this Ptolemaic god who breathed wrong in my direction" to "Actually I'm chill" seems pretty suspicious to me tbh)

ANYWAY all of this is to say that everything he does is so intrinsically tied to the damage Zeus did to him that it hurts. All his behaviours all his coping mechanisms. Everything

The arrogance is not just a façade he built over the years to hide his feeling of unhappiness and guilt!! It's quite literally an abuse response!!!!

And yeah maybe Leto was the one who spent the most time with him and Artemis and who took the most care of them so technically she should be considered his figure of attachment instead of Zeus but then again. How much time did Apollo spend beside her compared to the time he spent at Zeus' side, after the twins became Olympians? What do a few moments with her in a year do against entire centuries with him?

Leto's influence never really mattered. He was doomed since the beginning

[puppetmaster13u]

I just wanted to draw Batgirl Barbara with some Oracle vibes, like an inbetween stage of sorts.

Au is by @phoenixcatch7 and you need to check them out if you haven't <3

[silk-bullet]

He’s like one of those rabid creatures fluttershy would adopt

No I don’t actually know what the fuck that means but it’s on my mind since hashira training arc manga

[lolli-popples]

The deeper I get into this temple the more I wonder if Nayru is testing my wisdom or my FUCKING patience.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen the sunrise…

…It will still be beautiful.

[knittedslug]

‘cant seperate the art from the artist’ but not in the form of cancel culture. no no, give me that in the form of an artist who believes she has truly become her art. An artist who can no longer seperate herself from the pieces she creates and no longer believes she has any worth outside of her art. does she only exist to create? was she only born to give birth to things greater than her? she believes her only purpose is to make. she can no longer separate herself from her art. she believes that she is her art on every level except physical. give me the gruesome horror of her eventually turning herself into an artwork. she is one of her creations and she believes that is her final form.

[bread-tab]

"stop making [media] your whole personality"

ah... okay. yes. so.

first off:

there's this neurodivergent thing, where you use an interest as a filter for processing the world.

for some people that is called a "special interest," for others with different needs it is more of a "hyperfixation;" there are far more variations than i (or the field of psychology) know how to describe now. if you want to understand the difference there are people who can explain those variations better than me. but i can tell you what it feels like.

you discover something.

it doesn't matter what it is; you find something that speaks to you, something you can connect to, and it becomes a bubble of safe habitat from which you can rest from and explore and connect to all the other parts of this strange chaotic world.

a source of joy. a source of illumination.

it's like you're a person who has lived all their life in dark caves and you find something that glows.

these interests can be anything.

(literally anything; i personally derive meanings that you could never imagine from ✨ drainage ditches. ✨)

but very often, they are stories. tv shows, books, movies, comics, songs, podcasts, minecraft improv streams, cartoons, web serials, whatever

these things are:

tangible. you can hold them in your hands, replay them, turn on the subtitles, take screenshots, read the sheet music

and yet

real. they form a genuine connection from your (isolated, untranslatable) internal world to other (formerly unknowable) people and the rest of the universe

they create meaningfulness

and they exist because humans find these incredibly effective soul-deep ways of communicating to one another.

now, appreciating stories, that's not a neurodivergent thing. that's a human thing.

the point of relevance here is that experiencing an extreme love for stories is a neurodivergent thing.

it's a very common neurodivergent trait which often gets mocked, portrayed as childish, and used as a pretext for infantilization and bullying.

(and it is also a trait of young people in general, to take stories very seriously in a way that looks silly to adults, and that is something that many people (regardless of age) try to bully out of each other.

what good is that doing anyone?)

"stop making [x] your whole personality"

listen, you. get down off that goddamn embankment and climb down into this ditch with me. dip your toes in this oily water. watch the stars and city lights ripple into constellations you've never seen

now look me in the eye

you need to understand that no matter what lowbrow, cringey, problematic or otherwise not-to-your-tastes drivel you might be complaining about today,

you are talking about the phenomenon of creativity

you are talking about a transcendent catalyst of human emotion

and yes that includes the overmilked disney franchises, it includes the formulaic shippy fanfictions, it includes whatever brightly-colored cartoon this website is obsessed with this year (and will be having incredibly dramatic meltdowns over next year), it includes the cheesy action movies and the fanservicey anime and the badly-designed video games and the milquetoast tiktok "literature", it includes the indistinguishable scribbles of some random five-year-old and/or famous fine artist and/or precocious elephant

i get it. you care about real life and touching grass and shit. you have taste. just take the stilts off your horse for a second, okay?

i know you're probably sick of "let people like things" discourse

i would just like for you to stop for a second and take a deep breath, and let the stench of whatever is in this mud puddle wash over you (yeah i know, ew, but you'll be fine) and consider

what is so bad about having a cringey personality, anyway?

and maybe you will think better of making "stop making [some silly moment in the universe] your personality" into your personality and maybe you will come off as a little bit less of a snob/ableist/ass and maybe you will have a slightly better outlook on life among humans.

that's all. yeah you can get out of the gutter now. thank you for coming to my ted talk—

ooh wait, look, a bottle cap

[cosmicghoul99]

Do you ever lie awake staring at the stars, and see a life before this one? Do you look to the cosmos, and see a reminder of what you once were? Do you recall the feeling of being swirling dust in the void? Do you ever breath, and feel like the stardust that you were created from? When you look at the stars, child, do you feel like coming home?

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

god, the post gig blues are hitting hard tonight 😩 time for a hot water bottle and yet another reread of @gasdancer’s joie de vivre i think