#IVF calculator

[pregnancycounselors]

What is IVF pregnancy calculator, why it is needed and what are its benefits and most common misconception to it. 

[aurawomen]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Aurawomen (@aurawomen_)

[statusmessagesquotes]

How to Calculate Weeks in IVF Pregnancy?: A Comprehensive Guide

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a medical procedure that helps individuals or couples overcome infertility issues by assisting with conception outside the body. Once successful, determining the gestational age and calculating weeks in an IVF pregnancy becomes essential for monitoring fetal development. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into the various aspects of calculating weeks in IVF…

[pregnancycounselor]

Empower Your Journey with our IVF Pregnancy Calculator

Discover the precision of our IVF pregnancy calculator. Easily determine your due date, track key milestones, and navigate your IVF journey with confidence.

[fertilityccentrenepal]

What is the IVF cost calculator in Nepal?

The IVF cost calculator in Nepal is the best. As you can previously calculate the amount. So, you can set the budget before starting. For the suitable amount. Read more: https://fertilitycentrenepal.com/ivf-cost-calculator/

[olderthannetfic]

if you don't mind me sending yet another personal questions on anon... i'm in my mid-20s, single, and pro-abortion because i'd rather fetuses not be born rather than abandoned or died of hunger or stunted from malnutrition. i'm from a third-world country so it's very common here and it's very sad to me. i'm not exactly poor though, more like middle class, i guess?

recently my coworkers talked about getting married and having children. one of them said "i've seen old people without children and no one takes care of them. also, an old person's happiness is mostly from watching their children grow up. that can never be replaced with anything." it sounds a little bit weird to me, but i'm not sure if it's because i'm single and have never looked up about parenting and children before, so i asked "but isn't it selfish to give life to children because you want someone to take care of you/you don't want to die alone? and aren't there other sources of happiness?" they reiterated that watching your children grow up is a different kind of happiness and that "having someone to take care of you is not the main goal, but it's gained anyways" but the way they said it sounds like it's the main goal to me because they don't state any other goals like "i want a footballer kid" or "i want a kid to take them on trips" or even "to continue the bloodline in the name of evolution". i honestly don't really get it.

i mean, they're free to think whatever they want as long as they don't abandon their children, but it brings me to a dilemma. i'm scared of dying alone and missing out on watching my own children grow up. but also, i don't think i'm ready to have children due to my mental capacity and lack of parenting skills. i'm scared of being selfish; what if my child turns out unhappy and depressed like me? what even is MY main goal? i have so many that i want to do, like travelling around the world, but eventually all my goals will be fulfilled and i'll have spare money, but i'll be less mobile when i grow up, and being pregnant is more dangerous as you grow older.

i'm still single so i think i have time to think about it, but it creeps on me like a ticking timer. since you and some of your readers are older and have probably went through this dilemma, what do you think? what even brought you to the point where you're set on having/not having children?

--

Yes, people are absolute morons about children.

In the context of the US, we have shit health care and a shameful dearth of ways to care for our elderly, disabled, or terminally ill. Most of the work falls to family. It is absolutely true that people with kids have a better shot of reasonable end of life care...

However, that's going to depend on where you live, and you could easily end up estranged from your kids or your kid could get hit by a bus or something. Treating something as major as parenthood as a guarantee of in-home nursing is fucking stupid in any country.

Different kind of happiness, my ass.

I'm happy I managed to have a kid after leaving it pretty late. My baby is delightful. I still don't see how this is that different from a best friend or a hobby. I think a lot of people are just boring and have no idea how to be rabidly passionate about their hobbies. They also have no idea how to build emotional intimacy. If they can't make a bff who'd nurse them through cancer, they probably can't instill those feelings in their kid either.

Most people find conception just fine up through the mid 30s. Late 30s even. I had to do IVF because I waited into my 40s. The pregnancy was still fine. The birth sucked because I didn't yell at the hospital staff forcefully enough or have a good enough advocate with me, but it still turned out okay. The medical part should be a relatively small part of your calculation unless you have reason to think the local medical system will make pregnancy particularly dangerous.

--

For me... I'd always assumed I'd have one. I didn't find the right partner, but I did run out of time. I pictured what my life would look like in five years with a kid. What would we be doing together? And I liked that picture, so I went for it.

One thing that helped a lot was that my mother was perpetually too busy running a business but did genuinely care. She left me alone to pursue my own hobbies a lot and did not hover because she was always doing ten thousand things, including her own stack of hobbies.

Most parenting content is about as pleasant as cleaning out a latrine. It's all full of "Do these seventy-two things every single morning or you're a Bad Mother™" and pretending like kids need your overbearing personality squashing them 24/7.

I like to joke "Well, you have to know which end goes up, and you have to feed them occasionally."

Thousands of years of imperfect people did manage not to drop the baby on its head. We even have vaccines now. You would be fine.

Also, my mother absolutely did drag me around the world when I was little. She got a chance to go visit Indonesia with a gamelan she used to play with when I was four and a half, so off we went. I had to completely change how I ate because it was all random homestays in the mid 80s, and the food they had was the food they had. Mom didn't think twice about this.

The biggest parenting error people make—not just personal happiness error but child emotional health error—is stopping living their lives because kids somehow need some bullshit normie fantasy of staying home forever and doing nothing interesting. You need to make a lot of time to do things with the kid, but those can be the things you actually like, not shit from a canned list of child appropriate activities.

If you are never "selfish", you will only teach your child that they cannot have both a kid of their own and a life.

Children need consistency, but that consistency is you caring about them and being around, not you giving up ever having personal time or interests.

[chaosology]

benched

— Sam Kerr x reader

based off this request, i hope you like it :) masterlist, gimme feedback!!!

warnings: pregnancy? slight injury to reader

“She’s getting so big now,” Sam sighed, “What is it now, an avocado?”

Her fingers traced the swell of your stomach, lightly tapping the beat of whatever song was stuck in her head. You and Sam had gotten incredibly lucky, your first round of IVF being successful and resulting in one of the most beautiful celebrations of your life.

“Sami, they said it’s probably a girl, we can be sure!! What if he’s just sneaky?”

Sam just laughed, rolling over to pull herself out of bed. This game would determine if you made it into the quarter finals of the World Cup, and your entire team had been training rigorously for it. The pregnancy had remained under wraps until just after the first trimester, when Alanna had caught you puking in a bush for the third time that week.

The pregnancy had been a hot topic of discussion among you and the team officials. They weren’t allowed to decide when you would stop playing and take leave, but you and Sam had talked privately to decide that you’d rest when the World Cup ended. The rough nature of the game put you at a level of risk you and Sam weren’t willing to take; and if you were being honest, the break was well deserved. You’d given your all for so long and wanted nothing more than to lay in bed all day, watching Sam play and browsing whatever shit reality shows were currently trending.

The little bump just barely peaked through your jersey, a small reminder of your love always with you. Admittedly, the influx of hormones had knocked your emotions around a bit - much to Sam’s enjoyment. You cried at commercials and got snappy with her over small things like the smell of her coffee, and it was probably the most adorable thing she’d ever witnessed.

The stadium was alive with the thrill of the match. The girls battled fiercely, determination evident in every pass, every tackle, and every movement on the field. Your movements were quick and calculated, darting in between the opposition to pass the ball over to Hayley.

In an instant you were on the floor, too shocked to even comprehend what had happened. The medics were on you in an instant, Sam having let them know before the tournament that you were pregnant and took priority. The pain wasn’t unbearable, radiating down your back to your legs. The other girl that tumbled was checking on you, apologising over and over. It was a genuine mistake, and you didn’t hold any ill will towards her. Half time had just been called, and so the rest of the team had come make sure you were doing alright.

Sam was also by your side, triple checking you were ok. She was stressing beyond belief, not just for you but your baby.

“You need to come off, love.”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. I’m- We’re fine.”

“No, you’re done,” Sam’s voice was firm, laced with concern. “I know we talked about it, but we cant keep taking these risks. The way you went down… It could’ve been bad.”

You were starting to get annoyed now. Hormones were making you more fired up than normal, and you got defensive quick.

“No. No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not made of glass-”

"No arguments," Sam's interruption was unwavering, her eyes locking onto yours with determined resolve. She knew you were annoyed, but she wasn’t willing to risk it anymore. She could also pull the Captain card if she wanted.

Your eyes were glazed over with a quick building fury. You were both too strong willed for your own good and it was quickly becoming tense.

“I’m your captain, Y/N. You’re done. I won't let anything happen to you or our baby."

You had only pushed her hand away and walked off, angry tears falling down your cheek as you sat down with a huff. Sam’s palm ran down her face as she sighed. She knew in her heart it was the right decision, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her chest when she saw you cry.

You had spent the rest of the game in a mood, your head resting in your hands as you glared at Sam. You knew it was irrational, you knew she cared - but right now, it was just an overwhelming flood of emotions. The win and cheers that erupted as the penalty kick went through fell on deaf ears as you shrunk in on yourself, now nauseated too. Perhaps the baby was angry too. Fair enough.

Sam’s eyes met yours as she jogged over, leaving the celebration in the centre of the pitch. Still moody, you looked down at the ground and kicked your feet, twirling your wedding ring as you did so.

“I know you’re mad. I’m sorry.” her hushed voice let out. You offered only a scoff in response, becoming more and more engrossed in the ring by the second.

“Hey, look at me”, she reached out, her hand grabbing your chin. “Look at me, Y/N.”

You let her move you like a doll, your chin tilted up as she hovered over you. If you weren’t still trying to be mad, you’d definitely tell her it was hot - time and place, unfortunately.

“I’m sorry I was strict. I’m your captain and your wife, I’m just looking out for you and our girl… I got scared, I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. But you’re my responsibility on this field, and I’ll make any move possible to stop you from getting hurt.”

You were embarrassed now. All she did was care while you were stubborn and proud.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled “I was so awful, I didn’t mean it. I know you’re doing what’s best”

“Hey, hey,” her fingers lightly tracing your jawline as your face “don’t say that about yourself. You’re making a person, Y/N. Our baby. Your body’s doing all these crazy things, it’s ok to let it get to you sometimes.”

Your eyes welled up again as she brought you in for a kiss. The stress left your body as you relaxed into her.

She stepped back, pulling you up to meet here eye. “Come celebrate with us, you got us here too.”

You giggled, letting her pull you back to the pitch with a skip in your step. The girls were hugging and crying, yelling all sorts of things at the top of their lungs. You and Sam made your way into the middle of the group, hand in hand with smiles as large as life.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you call baby a girl, Sam. You owe me fifty if it’s a boy!”

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Incomplete vs. overshoot

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in Seattle (Feb 26) with Neal Stephenson, then Portland, Phoenix and more!

You know the "horseshoe theory," right? "The far-left and the far-right, rather than being at opposite and opposing ends of a linear continuum of the political spectrum, closely resemble each other, analogous to the way that the opposite ends of a horseshoe are close together":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horseshoe_theory

It's a theory that only makes sense if you don't know much about the right and the left and what each side wants out of politics.

Take women's suffrage. The early suffragists ("suffragettes" in the UK) were mostly interested in votes for affluent, white women – not women as a body. Today's left criticizes the suffrage movement on the basis that they didn't go far enough:

https://www.npr.org/2011/03/25/134849480/the-root-how-racism-tainted-womens-suffrage

Contrast that with Christian Dominionists – the cranks who think that embryos are people (though presumably not for the purpose of calculating a state's electoral college vote? Though it would be cool if presidential elections turned on which side of a state line a fertility clinic's chest-freezer rested on):

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/segments/how-alabama-ivf-ruling-was-influenced-christian-nationalism-on-the-media?tab=summary

These people are part of a far-right coalition that wants to abolish votes for women. As billionaire far-right bagman Peter Thiel wrote that he thought it was a mistake to let women vote at all:

https://www.cato-unbound.org/2009/04/13/peter-thiel/education-libertarian/

Superficially, there's some horseshoe theory action going on here. The left thinks the suffragists were wrong. The right thinks they were wrong, too. Therefore, the left and the right agree!

Well, they agree that the suffragists were wrong, but for opposite reasons – and far, far more importantly, they totally disagree about what they want. The right wants a world where no women can vote. The left wants a world where all women can vote. The idea that the right and the left agree on women's suffrage is, as the physicists say, "not even wrong."

It's the kind of wrong that can only be captured by citing scripture, specifically, A Fish Called Wanda, 6E, 79: "The central message of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."

Or take the New Deal. While the New Deal set its sites on liberating workers from precarity, abuse and corruption, the Dealers – like the suffragists – had huge gaps in their program, omitting people of color, indigenous people, women, queer people, etc. There are lots of leftists who criticize the New Deal on this basis: it didn't go far enough:

https://livingnewdeal.org/new-deal-and-race/

But for the past 40 years, America has seen a sustained, vicious assault on New Deal programs, from Social Security to Medicare to food stamps to labor rights to national parks, funded by billionaires who want to bring back the Gilded Age and turn us all into forelock-tugging plebs:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/06/the-end-of-the-road-to-serfdom/

If you only view politics as a game of elementary school cliques, you might say that the left and the right are meeting again. The left says Roosevelt got it wrong with the New Deal (because he left out so many people). The right says FDR was wrong for doing the New Deal in the first place. Therefore, the left and the right agree, right?

Obviously wrong. Obviously. Again, the important thing is why the left and the right think the New Deal deserves criticism. The important thing is what the left and the right want. The left wants universal liberation. The right wants us all in economic chains. They do not agree.

It's not always just politics, either. Take the old, good internet. That was an internet defined by technological self-determination, a wild and wooly internet where there were few gatekeepers, where disfavored groups could find each other and make common cause, where users who were threatened by the greed of the shareholders behind big services could install blockers, mods, alternative clients and other "adversarial interoperability" tools that seized the means of computation.

Today's enshitternet – "five giant websites, filled with screenshots of the other four" (h/t Tom Eastman) – is orders of magnitude more populous than that old, good internet. The enshitternet has billions of users, and they are legally – and technologically – prevented from taking any self-help measures when the owners of services change them to shift value from users to themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The anti-enshittification movement rightly criticizes the old, good internet because it wasn't inclusive enough. It was a system almost exclusively hospitable to affluent, privileged people – the people who least needed the liberatory power of technology.

Likewise pro-enshittification monopolists – billionaires and their useful idiots – deplore the old, good internet because it gave its users too much power. For them, ad-blocking, alternative clients, mods, reverse-engineering and so on were all bugs, not features. For them, the enshitternet is great because businesses can literally criminalize taking action to protect yourself from their predatory impulses:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

Superficially, it seems like the pro- and anti-enshittification forces agree – they both agree that the old, good internet was a mistake. But the difference that matters here is that the pro-enshittification side wants everyone mired in the enshitternet forever, living with what Jay Freeman calls "Felony contempt of business-model." By contrast, the disenshittification side wants a new, good internet that gives every user – not just a handful of techies – the power to decide how the digital systems they work use, and to be able to alter or reconfigure them to suit their own needs.

The horsehoe theory only makes sense if you don't take into account the beliefs and goals of each side. Politics aren't just a matter of who you agree with on a given issue – the real issue is what you're trying to accomplish.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/26/horsehoe-crab/#substantive-disagreement

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part I): Per Manum, and Waking Up to Miracles

Waking Up to Fatherhood - The Past

Before Mulder's abduction, there were two brief times that Scully almost became a mother.

Both were linked to her stolen ova; but one little girl was born weak and sickly, her only purpose to be a lab rat for her government and to be loved in-between these tests by her adoptive parents. Mulder could not be a father to this hybrid, having failed to be a brother to a clone once already. And, sadly, in spite of all of Scully's training and all of Mulder's attempts, little Emily Sims could not be put back together again.

Later-- we will never know how much later-- he finally told Scully about her other remaining ova, the ones that didn't work. But she wanted to try, anyway.

So, before Mulder's abduction, there was a short period of time where he almost became a father.

It was a simple ask from her partner; and one that Mulder took time to contemplate-- whether by his request or hers or mutual understanding we will never know. But ultimately, he'd made his decision back in Home, Pennsylvania-- "I never saw you as a mother before" (though he'd later covered that intimacy in the motel with a biting "Night, Mom.") The donation was a mere formality.

It's established in a Per Manum script here and here (thanks @dunhamhairograpy and @x-files-scripts) that Scully was rushing into the process faster than Mulder, not having taken the time to think far enough down the road. But her partner-- whose mind was more often engaged elsewhere in the hunt for the Truth-- had. He'd thought about work, and he'd thought about them. But mostly he'd thought about the answer being "yes."

Scully cracked, crumbling in desperate joy and clinging to Mulder in sheer happiness. Her eyebrow popped up as self-preservation and distance engaged, doubts swirling at all the calculations, the changes, the unsaid conversations; but Mulder continued to hold her, luxuriating in the rich satisfaction of granting his partner her greatest wish.

When he was assured that Scully wouldn't step back just yet, Mulder lost his focus in daydreams, a secret contentment spilling out of his beautiful soul. Thrilling hopes and dreams of his own little Mulder-Scully poured from his eyes; and a softer, more paternal smile settled onto his mouth. This is the face of a man who accepted, fully, the anticipation and responsibility of fatherhood-- it's a heartbreakingly tender moment that he treasured to himself, as he had (until Amor Fati) never shared his deepest joys and sharpest pains completely with Scully.

(Side note: This is why I set the IVF arc before S7: Mulder still acted on his trademark guarded manner here, an aspect of himself that is set aside after Amor Fati--another post for another time. That revelation changed his outlook, his life, literally his mind. Here he was still reclusive, reluctant, shy-- all things that were swept away in the aftermath of listening to the world and realizing he only wanted to hear Scully.)

Scully still clung, hoping against hope she was reading this-- him-- right; and finally, finally she stepped back, doing her best to project an air of nonchalance. Anything to keep this-- this IVF this-- as low-key as she could, perhaps so as not to spook Mulder or perhaps not to spook herself; but her delight could not be wholly contained.

Her partner saw right through her, giving a little twist of his lips even as his eyes fixated on her flashing emotions.

To relieve Scully's sudden jitteriness, he quipped "At that part I'm a pro" and dipped, leaving her with the solitude she craved to pull her scrambled pieces back together.

However, despite his overthinking and her underthinking, both are a tad overwhelmed-- Scully noticeably so, though Mulder still shrugged off the moment and released a tense sigh before turning his enthusiastic smile back at his partner. There was no fear or reluctance in his posture, and only heightened reservation in hers; so it's safe to assume Mr. and Mrs. Spooky would have relaxed naturally into their impending parenthood long before Spooky Jr. arrived. Both wanted this, yes; and there would still have been some awkward bumps ahead, but it would have led them closer together. They were partners, after all.

Alas, that was not to be.

In the last IVF flashback, Scully walked back into her apartment, quiet and glum. When Mulder popped up on her couch-- having fallen asleep (and still trying to take up as little space as possible on her little people couch, even when unconscious)-- she is surprised to see him there.

Mulder explained, still a little slurred, "Scully? I must have dozed off. I was waiting for you to get back." Ever the gentleman, he offered a reasonable explanation for his presence in her space: even if he owned (and owns) a key to the place, Mulder wouldn't use it without a good reason or life-saving crisis (see post here.)

Her eyes were red-rimmed with more tears on the way; and the top of her hair was messed and staticky, likely having rested on her car steering wheel as the first onslaught of tears struck (as she'd cried before in Elegy and The End.)

Realizing she'd been irreparably caught, Scully shrugged into an acceptance of her grief, pulling her mouth tight in a shallow attempt to placate her partner's concerns. Tears still barely held back (not having expected Mulder to be there to catch her in the act), she slowly walked forward, stoically (if uncomfortably) willing to give Mulder his fair and equal share in this failure.

Nothing escaped her partner's wild, wide-eyed stare, realization sinking his tentatively celebratory feelings. For a moment he just observed, eyes falling before sweeping back up to ask ,"Didn't take, did it?"

"I guess it was too much to hope for," Scully replied, pain cracking through at Mulder's overt disappointment. Her "Starbuck" guilt rose up to accuse her: when Scully loses, she's "failed"; and this personal failure went deep. Discouraged-- and not strong enough to fully engage with Mulder's pain, though she knew it was there-- Scully gave up hope.

Mulder was having none of that-- the same facial expression, too-- as he swept Scully up in his arms, not allowing her guilt to add to the burdens on her back. It's a zany comfort all Mulder's own: none of that, Scully, of course it wasn't too much to hope for; sure, we might never get that wish, but that didn't mean it was worthless to hope all the same.

But, again, his deeper disappointment cracked through once Scully could no longer see and blame herself for his pain.

"It was my last chance," Scully keened, straining with everything in her not to lose control, not to completely despair.

The brittle brutality gripped the both of them; and Mulder tightened his hold, rocking them into a calm only two souls united in this grief could experience.

His strength and comfort allowing her to settle back into herself, Scully pulled back just before being hit with a fresh wave of hurt; but Mulder settled that, too, with his special brand of soothing: a forehead kiss.

"Never give up on a miracle," he intoned in accents he'd never used before: solid, unshakeable, unwavering faith tempered by fully matured love.

It was almost too much for Scully; but she dodged last minute to plant a kiss on his cheek instead. (Another reason I believe this took place before Amor Fati: Scully had claimed her right to forehead kisses after his dream confession and revelation. Here she is still too tentative and unsure. Another discussion for another time.)

Mulder consumed her like the ouroboros on her back; and the two closed the loop, clinging to each other-- reclaiming their life and future even with the death of their dreams.

Waking Up to Miracles - The Present

Mulder spent the last three months being split open, pulled apart, and screaming for Scully's help.

Then one night, he stopped waking up.

When awareness does slowly return, his eyes open in a hospital, groggy and sluggish... and he can't remember what happened to bring him here. But that isn't unusual in his line of work; and he knows memory will return with time.

As usual, Scully is stationed by his bed, hesitantly blissful in the face of-- what he considered to be-- another of his mundane recoveries.

It's too tempting to take advantage of her eagerness; and his playfulness gets the better of him. "Who... are you?"

After he's deemed she's had the proper reaction-- shock and a possible heart attack-- he mischievously beams back at her, resuming their usual cheerful hospital camaraderie.

But... her reaction is stronger than usual: a sudden whoosh of relief, swept-aside bedside manner leaving room for open, intimate glee. Her haunted eyes almost speak for her-- "Do you have any idea what you've been through?"-- make him more serious, contemplative.

"I know what I see in your face." Feeling cared for, comforted, to the pit of his soul as his partner begins to stroke his hair, he mouths "I love you", lighting her face up with trembling gratitude.

And him knowing her, still, and loving her, still, melts Scully. He watches as she sinks down in weighted grief and heady relief by his side, soaking her tears in his hospital gown. Although he tries to move closer to comfort or cradle her, his body, he finds, is unyielding. His sober mood turns somber, trying to catch at the greater mystery snagged under so much heartache. Despite the sleep of recovery tugging at him, there is no way he can rest without making her feel better.

"Anybody miss me?"

His partner's choked laugh and her sturdier grip assure and relax him more than any reply; and he drifts off, content.

Mulder misses, however, the severity of his injuries, the signs of his partner's advanced pregnancy, and the shadow of her new partner lengthening the doorway.

But those wait, lurking, with his nightmares.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[thebiscuiteternal]

Alabama court rules frozen embryos are children, chilling IVF advocates

"In summary, the theologically based view of the sanctity of life adopted by the People of Alabama encompasses the following: (1) God made every person in His image; (2) each person therefore has a value that far exceeds the ability of human beings to calculate; and (3) human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God, who views the destruction of His image as an affront to Himself," Alabama Chief Justice Tom Parker wrote in an opinion attached to the ruling.

[pregnancycounselors]

"IVF Pregnancy Calculator | Predict your success rate"

"Use of IVF Pregnancy Calculator to predict your due date and track gestational age based on your embryo transfer date. Get accurate estimates for your IVF journey today"

[weezly14]

so i'm not going to respond to any individual asks - this is the blanket response to all the asks i've gotten in the past few weeks asking me when i'm going to update my WIPs, if i've abandoned them, etc. i appreciate the love, i do. i miss dust to dust, and something good and right and real, and i wanna be your boyfriend, too.

i might regret being this honest later, but fuck it, it's my blog and not enough people talk about this shit.

i'm struggling with infertility. emphasis on the struggle. i'm weepy from fertility meds, in the midst of my first treatment cycle, half hope and half fear. we're "unexplained infertility," so there's no reason why it shouldn't work, except it hasn't so far, so hope feels like a dangerous thing.

for anyone who hasn't experienced this, it's a complete and total mindfuck. i don't feel like the same person i was a year ago, before all those negative pregnancy tests. i thought i'd have a baby by now, or at least be pregnant. instead, i have a shitty not even diagnosis, and Options that are both a blessing but also invasive, and expensive, and in no way a guarantee. every month i calculate when the due date would be; think about the events we have planned for next year in terms of where i could be in a pregnancy; and every month, my period arrives right on schedule, if not a day early. i have yet to see a positive pregnancy test. it's "only" been a year, and i'm "so young," but it feels like it's been ages and like i'm running out of time.

we've been forced to have conversations about money, about how far we want to go with treatment, about when we might call it. "it's too early to think about that," you might say, but one cycle of ivf could cost $16k. we have good insurance, but are we willing to undergo more than one egg retrieval? how many failed transfers before we decide the emotional toll is too high? it's better to have those conversations now, before we have to, when we can maybe make clearer decisions. would we consider donor eggs or sperm? surrogacy? what about adoption?

meanwhile, i'm watching friends and acquaintances get pregnant with no problem, as i try not to completely isolate myself and try to track ovulation, as though timing might be the problem.

(it's not.)

i'm not the person i was before all of this, and it sucks. i'm a sadder, smaller person, i think. i'm trying my best. i'm "practicing hope" or some shit, i'm doing my best to keep my head up and stop isolating, stop avoiding my pregnant best friend, stop wallowing in the grief. because it is grief. if i get pregnant, it will be because of fertility meds and doctors, it will happen in a sterile exam room, hopefully with my husband holding my hand, if he can get the time off work. there will be no spontaneous pregnancy, no surprise. there's grief in that, in letting go of what i thought this might be like, how i thought it might go.

so yes, writing fic has fallen by the wayside. not because i want it to. i just have a hard time finding the energy to do even fun things. i miss the person who could write a lot in short spans of time, who had the energy for fic. i'd like to believe i can still be that person again. i don't consider any of those fics abandoned. i've written, i've worked on things.

but, right now, it feels like my entire life, my entire being, is consumed with this struggle to get pregnant. like my life is measured by where i am in my cycle. i look at my calendar and think, that's when i'll get my period or a positive test, so i should be mindful in what i plan. i might be very happy, or i might have a very bad day.

sometimes, the bad days feel eternal.

but i'm doing what i can. i'm trying, anyway. my therapist said i should practice hope, and i'm trying to. i'm trying to let myself believe things might work out. even though the fucking meds have made me weepy as hell, i'm trying to stay positive, and envision that this cycle could work. that on christmas day, instead of my period, i'll get a positive pregnancy test.

(because going home for christmas isn't loaded enough.)

there's an old wives tale that if you wrap a baby blanket and put it under the tree, you'll have a baby by next christmas. i'm jewish, but we're an interfaith household, so we bought a baby blanket, and we're going to wrap it in hanukkah paper, and put it under the tree. we have a hope basket in the nursery - because when we moved into this house we set aside a bedroom to be the nursery, and it's empty except for that little basket of baby things we've collected over the months, in the hopes that one day we'll have a baby to dress in the little onesies or socks. we have a running list of names. this is our version of practicing hope.

this is only our first treatment cycle. things could work. or maybe the next cycle. and then, there's always ivf. some days, i feel like it'll work for us, and we will have a baby, one way or another. other days, i wonder if i shouldn't just spare myself the pain and call it now. it's exhausting, infertility.

so, to everyone who misses my writing, and wonders when i'll update again - i don't know. i miss my writing, too. i miss being the person who wasn't so consumed by fertility shit, who could indulge in hobbies. i'd like to believe i can get back to that. but not this week.

the holidays are joyous but they're also really fucking hard, so let me be your friendly reminder not to ask people when they're having kids, or why they aren't pregnant yet, and to not tell people struggling with infertility to "just adopt" or "just relax."

happy holidays.

[pregnancycounselor]

Discover the precision of our IVF pregnancy calculator. Easily determine your due date, track key milestones, and navigate your IVF journey with confidence. Empower your pregnancy experience today.

[thisisthinprivilege]

when you say thin do you mean do you mean like anyone who’s not fat or specifically people who are skinny/underweight/below average size

We have a FAQ that covers both this and the many other questions we've answered many times on this blog.

To recap, since it's been a minute since we've had this question:

Thin privilege is socially constructed and sometimes even a relative ranking thing, like the least fat person in a room of fat people having more privilege than the fatter people in that room.

However, there are a whole bunch of structural discrimination thresholds that affect the experience of thin privilege.

Here are a few: you can't adopt from many agencies and countries over a certain BMI (I forget the threshold, it's probably in the FAQ), most IVF is capped at something like 30 or 33 BMI, plane seats have specific widths that will accommodate hip sizes below that width but not above, there are formal weight cutoffs for rides and flight training and military service and sports and certain jobs, there are weight cutoffs to fit comfortably and safely in furniture---and as the human species sits or sleeps much of the day, making furniture inaccessible affects how we travel, work, socialize, date, go to school, wait in medical and legal offices, rest and relax, etc etc etc, and of course there are many more informal weight cutoffs like being able to claim the category "fit" on dating apps.

There's no calculated or calculable single standard for measuring how much thin privilege any given person has, because it is heavily context dependent. Humans are super weird that way. I've seen a group of male colleagues fawn over a plumpish smallfat woman in a group of larger women who they wouldn't give the time of day if there was a smaller woman around. Fucking bizarre. But it happens all the damn time and has real and lasting effects on all of us. Imagine if in that one instance of having relative thin privilege you got a job offer for your dream job that never would have come if a thinner candidate had also applied. Do you have thin privilege in the absolute sense? Not really. But you still benefited from (relative) thin privilege.

-ArteToLife

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Alabama, where they serve women's rights sunny-side up :: Clay Jones :: @claytoonz

* * * *

The Alabama Supreme Court decision regarding frozen embryos continues to cause chaos, confusion, and fear.

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled this week that a frozen embryo held in storage outside the human body is a “human child” for purposes of a wrongful death statute. Although the opinion deals with a civil lawsuit (not a criminal prosecution), the reasoning could be applied to murder prosecutions by the Alabama Supreme Court. The possibility of civil liability for wrongful death or criminal liability for murder arising out of in vitro fertilization procedures caused the largest IVF facility in Alabama to cease the fertility procedures. See CNN, Days after Alabama’s Supreme Court ruling that frozen embryos are children, one facility pauses IVF treatment.

There are reasons to believe that the rationale in Burdick-Aysenne v. Center for Reproductive Medicine will not be applied to the criminal context, as explained by Ian Millhiser in Vox, The Alabama Supreme Court’s IVF opinion saying embryos are children, explained. Millhiser’s explication of the legal reasoning in Burdick is superb; if you want to dig deep into the legal history and context, Millhiser’s article is the place to start.

Millhiser explains that “Alabama’s criminal homicide law applies only to “an unborn child in utero.” Frozen embryos stored in cryogenic freezers are not “in utero.” Therefore, any reasonable observer would conclude that the handling of frozen embryos stored in cryogenic containers are not “human children in utero.”

The problem is that at least one member of the Alabama Supreme Court invoked religious dogma in setting forth his rationale for joining the majority opinion. Chief Justice Parker wrote a concurring opinion that included the following:

Man's creation in God's image is the basis of the general prohibition on the intentional taking of human life. See Genesis 9:6. [T]the doctrine of the sanctity of life is rooted in the Sixth Commandment: "You shall not murder." Exodus 20:13 Aquinas taught that "it is in no way lawful to slay the innocent" because "we ought to love the nature which God has made, and which is destroyed by slaying him." Calvin explained the reason for the Sixth Commandment this way: "Man is both the image of God and our flesh. Wherefore, if we would not violate the image of God, we must hold the person of man sacred." In summary, the theologically based view of the sanctity of life adopted by the People of Alabama encompasses the following: (1) God made every person in His image; (2) each person therefore has a value that far exceeds the ability of human beings to calculate; and (3) human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God, who views the destruction of His image as an affront to Himself. [Alabama law] recognizes that this is true of unborn human life no less than it is of all other human life -- that even before birth, all human beings bear the image of God, and their lives cannot be destroyed without effacing his glory.

But the fact that at least one member of the Alabama Supreme Court (the Chief Justice) believes that religious dogma and faith can and should supersede civil law, no reasonable person in Alabama should take comfort in the notion that the criminal laws apply only to “an unborn child in utero.”  

Caution is especially warranted given that Chief Justice Parker recently appeared on the podcast of a QAnon conspiracy theorist and endorsed the so-called “Seven Mountains Mandate a theological approach that calls on Christians to impose fundamentalist values on all aspects of American life.” See Media Matters, Alabama Supreme Court chief justice spreads Christian nationalist rhetoric on QAnon conspiracy theorist's show.

In short, resorting to legal reasoning and precedent may provide little comfort when the Alabama Chief Justice looks not at the state law and constitution but to the Bible and the commentary of Thomas Aquinas and John Calvin when deciding a civil action for damages caused by the destruction of cryogenically frozen embryos.

Alabama’s Supreme Court has inflicted cruelty and anxiety on thousands of couples trying to conceive and tens of thousands of medical professionals assisting them. Joyce Vance lives in Alabama. She posted the following on Wednesday:

Just contemplating my life in a state where frozen embryos have more rights than I do . . . .

Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter

[rk-ocs]

, I tried to calculate Maria's age with math. Tony inherited the company at 21, Howard died at 74. He was born in 1917 and Tony was born in 1970. Meaning he was 53 when Tony was born.  In 1954 he creates Stark Expo-, and that blurb mentions he eventually married Maria.  Meaning he was 37.

Now let's say for the sake of Maria getting things done that they married in 1960 and had 10 years of marriage before having Tony. Let's say she had him at 35. We can bump it later, but fives are nice even numbers as with this calculation we have it that she married Howard at 25 in 1960. So B:1945. That takes away the WW2 backdrop, but there's plenty to explore in the following years.

That doesn't give her as much time to get up to her own adventures as I thought. I don't know, my headcannon has her has her probably not getting married so young.

The thing is, 35 is sort of a peak year in fertility. Past that​ age chances of Downs and other problems increase.  Howard is 53 at Tony's birth, and men's fertility begins to decrease at 40, and risk of miscarriage rises ECT.

This is supported in the comics with the difficultly they had in having Arno, and why Aliens got involved to have a healthy child.

And then Tony Armstrong Stark, born of a Hydra and Shield coupling, was then adopted by one of Sheilds founders, and raised by a brilliant inventor (and his brilliant wife) and

Howard is described with Genius intelligence ranked at 5, Tony is a super Genius at 6. The only higher intelligence tier is omniscient which is applied to things like gods and mutants from what I see. All of the Tony Starks are in superginius category. Even his AI mental one. Arno Stark has super Genius intelligence as his only ability (stuck on life support and really can't develop anything else) and that was because the Alien genetically engineered it before he was born.

On a slightly unrelated note, Shield is pretty much TAS 's heritage by this point.

So back to the age thing. Maria could have married Howard super young (gross). She could have have a very complicated and dangerous pregnancy (or several). Tony could be adopted or have had Alien intervention.

It's possible that they hadn't thought Maria could have kids and we're very surprised.

It's possible that Tony was a Miracle baby.

Somehow that all pales in comparison to the idea Howard and Maria going into Genetic engineering to have a healthy child ( and Hydra later stole that research too)

That would increase the Odds of being having a healthy Tony at older ages , especially if they use a surrogate. (Been around since 1985, but we can mess a bit with history in other world's if we need to) Perhaps Amanda Armstrong, in a twist, is Tony's Surrogate here

*Gestational surrogacy (also known as host or full surrogacy[3]) was first achieved in April 1986.[5] It takes place when an embryo created by in vitro fertilization (IVF) technology is implanted in a surrogate, sometimes called a gestational carrier. Gestational surrogacy may take a number of forms, but in each form the resulting child is genetically unrelated to the surrogate:

the embryo is created using the intended father's sperm and the intended mother's eggs. The resulting child is genetically related to both intended parents.

------

Red taught the Carbonell s to growl when someone picks them up.

Tony learned from his mother, who learned it from her father, who learned it from his uncle, and so forth.

It makes for an interesting Bonding moment when he is teaching his previously unknown brother Arno, and his previously Unknown niece Eleanor how to properly Growl

‘--------

Maria is the daughter of Samuel Carbonell and Emily Collins.

Emily is the daughter of Alexander and Jenna Michaels

Sam is the Son of Felix C and Isabella Hanson

Felix is the child of Lucas Cand Marcia Rodríguez

I should add siblings so cousians happen later.

-------

So yah a lot of Maria and Carbonell backstory in general will be headcannoned.

And Stark too.

I headcannon, for instance that before Howard the Starks were Jewish, but he keeps that quiet for business opportunity purposes, and is overall not big on religion.

Maria is, a lot smarter then her stats say she is. She is exclent at math. The Carbonells are Capable of calculations, having a high enough percentage to be able to tell the future to an extent. And it involves math. Also guidance to handle it, and not spiral into crazy. She is fond of the Piano, and gambling, used to winning them too (it mentoned she deliberately lost a lot of money)

Red was a terrible enabler of this, by teaching her how to play cards, along with lessons of how to read the people playing them.

She seems to enable all of her Prinicpals in one way or another (such as teaching Tony to drive)

I should come up with a Carbonell family tree I think

-----

I sort of headcannon Red as emotionally distant from her parents. Her Dad is on a submarine, and her mom is always working. You knew this. I picture the house as being clean and sort of empty looking, as all signs of life are stored away in it, the dishes washed after use and back in the cubbord. She wakes up there. She eats.  Maybe she will come home and take out the GameCube and play pokemon collesum or something, but she would rather be elsewhere most days. It's MT who comes by and makes sure she's awake on school days, its her aunt and Uncles house that she invites people over to play smash at, and its never her mother she chatters to.

When her mother is home, the volume is to be kept down.

Meeting Tony, she sees Parales, and tries to be a good cousian as well as guard. Meeting and becoming friends with Maria, she internalized the lesson that good people are not nesscarly good parents.

Some people are just not cut out to be parents. Maria tries, she teaches Tony how to play Piano, teaches him a song about math, but he's still pretty lonely

------

Deaging characters

A young Red and Tony would conclude that they have been kidnapped. Or at least that's the scenario that would come to mind with bodyguard teen Red, and child Tony.

Probably with Tony being the one talking, as red is not talking at this time.

"Don't come any closer, or my bodyguard will shoot you." He signs non fatal main, and red points her gun at them, as they backup.

Upon escaping, they would conclude they ended up in the future, and that red possible ly TT d them. Then they find out his parents are dead and mourn.

Alone it would depend if Red recognized Tony. She could run away or Tony could hire her. Either way it would take  negotiating fast.

Alone deaged Tony, would recognize Red, and probably enjoy being in the future.

Kid Desmond, might pull a Red and run away. (Kid Desmond and adult Red would be adorable though) despite not liking contact from most people, I she's not adverse to giving kids she trusts a piggy back ride. Or shoulder ride.

So It would never happen with a kid Natasha , but Tony, or Des if they asked for sure. Clint wouldn't ask, Steve might still have Serum, and Bruce would be baffled

(This is child turned without adult memories)

Now gender swapped, has its own questions

Would the guys who have beards have them as girls too? Or is it more magical and auto pretty, and they have to put up with big boobs problems?

-----

Jasper's revenge mission from his point of view

For killing my godfather, I will track you down and kill you.

Your getting on a plane are you? I can get on that thing unnoticed no problem.

So you are in that car are you... All I need is a dis... Perfect it looks like they know each other! Let's hide in the car and hope he doesn't have any more luggage.

So everyone here is wearing white. Good thing I never liked this sweater.

Haha I blend perfectly.

What kind of assassins wear white? Wait assassins! I could just hire one! That's so much easier!

Damn it it's apparently class... Actually that's perfect! I could just learn to be an assassin and kill him myself

Why don't we ever learn useful things like parkour in school

Wait even better! I could just hire the assassin teacher to kill him

What do you mean you won't take my money and kill him! What kind assassins are you people!

(Swears in anger at Desmond. Like pretty extremely actually . I think in English it would be something like "you fucking idiotic shit" Osti is for extereme anger, épais is and de marde is of shit, used to place emphasis on the idoticy of the person it's aimed at. ) So after some extreme name calling and swearing at poor Desmond , who thankfully didn't seem to understand the insult, he ran off and stayed out of sight untill Eleanor showed up.

Tante, qu'est-ce que tu fais ici? (Aunty what are you doing here?) (According to Google translate)

Que fais-tu ici?

Je suis vengeance (I'm here for revenge)

C'est l'affaire d'Alyssa. Viens maintenant à la voiture. (That's Alyssa's business. Now come to the car)

I want to try to throw some Quebec sleep into Reds language. I think we did talk about cussing before, but I also want Red/ Jaz to be useing little things more. Like bah, or perhaps saying C’est plate! (Boring!) Under their breath sometimes.

Or just slang like

Baise-moué l’ail. Literally means “kiss my garlic.” Clearly, this is a derivative of an English expression that asks you to kiss a certain part of the human anatomy.

Être tiguidou. Everything is just dandy. No problem here! A-Ok!

Or

J’ai la langue à terre.Roughly translates to “my tongue is on the floor” which means either you are really hungry or tired. The downside to this expression is that you might need to elaborate further after each time you say it, which, all the more, delays the relief you are hoping to get from either hunger or exhaustion. This expression, just like the previous example, may have its roots from Classical French.

Lâche pas la patate! Literally, this translates to “don’t let go of the potato.” Yet another interesting expression, if you hear this from a French Canadian, he could be giving you encouragement not to back out of a daunting task, which is touching. But, most of the time, he is more likely threatening you not to chicken out of a bet, a dare, or a promise.

Especially for misunderstandings

Gosses. This, for sure, can be a very tricky word between Québec French and Metropolitan French. When in France, it will not be an issue if you say to someone “Ca va, les gosses?”in which you are just asking how their kids are doing. Gosses in Québec French however, has come to mean “testicles” for some reason. In short, the typical way of greeting someone’s kids in Metropolitan French may not elicit a pleasant response when spoken in Quebec.

------

Se laisser manger la laine sur le dos.Meaning, to “let someone eat the wool off your back” means that you are letting someone make a fool out of you or swindle you. I personally think that this is one of the more creative expressions from the Québec French variety.

-----

Avoir mal aux cheveux. It roughly translates to “have a hair ache.” It is an expression used to describe an intense headache. One can only assume that it came from the fact that the headache is so severe that it even made the hair feel the pain.

------

*you help me find out who is sending me these things &help me put a stop to it

Aiden: apparently it's Desmond miles.

Jaz: wait, I know that picture. It's the assassin teacher. Why the hell is he sending me this spam

Aiden: he was last seen in Italy

Jaz:then I'm going to Italy to kick his ass. Would you please hack me a ticket

Aiden:and that will cover the favor

Jaz: sure

Aiden: have fun in Italy, Jasper

-----

Jasper arrives in Italy

"I did not think this through"

Picks up phone, and dials Aiden

"Where in Italy was he last seen, please"

Also I find it strange that nither Jasper nor Desmond found it strange that both his godmother and aunt apparently came to the Assassin's farm to pick him up.

Of course Desmond could have thought Jasper was lying, but that Jasper himself treats it nonchalantly Implies that this might have happened before. Do they have a tracker on him or something?

It could also be a that his godmother was planning to kill Thomas anyways,  and met Eleanor was backing her up, untill she noticed Jasper.

It could be the possible Assassin\ Templar reds oblivious to in the cannon, but was mentioned as AU possible world's.

But still. Jasper just told Des, there were two other people you didn't know about there that night too, and he gave it like zero thought. I guess he was still processing that Jasper apparently followed the guy from Quebec to Black Rapids South Dakota. Which is pretty impressive admitibly

-------