#IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG
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That pneumonia hit me pretty hard, but I am on the mend now. And I have, indeed, been taking notes 😉
Cmmon symptoms, treatment, etc can be found online from health organizations that actually know what they're talking about, so these are just going to be a few little things from my personal experience.
Feel free to use as inspiration in anything whump-related. Enjoy!
CW: irl illness and a bit of medical stuff
In general:
When they say it can come on fast, it can come on FAST. After a bit over a week with lingering cold symptoms and the occasional low-grade fever, my temperature went from normal (98.7F / 37C) to 102.4F / 39.1C in an hour, to 103.7F (39.8 C) in the urgent care half an hour after that. Fatigue, dizziness, and shortness of breath all hit all of a sudden about half an hour in.
I had lower left lobe pneumonia (inflammation in the lower part of my left lung) and for about 3 days I had what felt like a constant stitch in my left side, in my lower ribs, that hurt to lean against or lie on.
Breathing about halfway in felt fine. Breathing more deeply than that hurt and made my lower ribs and mid-back seize up.
I'm addition to being a lovely variety of colors, the gunk I coughed up tasted foul. Really bitter, in addition to about triple the usual clingy sickly taste of mucus. And it took a few minutes for the taste to go away.
In a chair, sitting straight up was alright, but it stretched my lower ribs and made it more tiring to breath deeply. Leaning forward elbows-on-knees was sometimes better. In a bed, lying flat made breathing a lot of work, even breathing shallowly; it felt like only the top 1/4 of my lungs was functional. Leaning back at an angle felt best. Any sort of turned/twisted position hurt and made my breathing shallower and more work.
Even after the congestion/inflammation in my lower lungs cleared out and I could breathe completely pain-free, my upper airway was pretty irritated. It felt like my trachea for a few inches above and below my sternal notch was made of tissue paper. Breathing into my lower ribs felt ok, but breathing into my upper chest felt tight and made me cough.
For a modern hospital setting:
Personally, how my IV felt was directly correlated with my fever, which went up and down several times. No fever, no pain as long as I didn't move that arm too much. Fever, and the whole inside of my elbow ached.
The nebulizer treatments made me feel like jumping out of my skin. Jittery, shaking, heart palpitations, heart rate up into the 120s (when it wasn't there already), for about three hours each time. My short-acting asthma inhaler gives me a little bit of that, so I wasn't completely thrown for a loop, but this was way more intense.
If you want to add in a little more hurt-to-help / it's-for-your-own-good, you might consider acquainting your character with an incentive spirometer (aka medical self-torture device). It's a benign-looking plastic apparatus that taunts you into taking painfully deep breaths, and then usually painfully coughing. I don't know what the standard is, but I was sentenced to 10x every hour.
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May never come to reality but im planning out a Animatic to AJR's 'Maybe Man' (sue me) and need some help filling in some of the parts.
(Its probably going to be about all the life series in general not specifically Wild life. but feel free to try it fit it all in one series)
!!!long post incoming!!!
General plan so far:
First Half(ish) will be calmly looking at hermits in their peaceful habitats talking about their insecurities.
Finishing the first half when we get to the god part it will be Grian before life series started pleading to watchers and becoming one himself then cutting to him and all the other lifers standing around in a circle (like the start of each series) (much wow)
ONE. TWO. PANDEMONIUM.
murder, just all of the scenes of people dying biggest polt twist, betrayals, and Amount of kills.
Also specifically a close up of grain seeing the server burning in the reflection of his eyes.
ending with another shot of the beginning of a server but we see grains eyes which are weathered and worn out and maybe has some watcher purple
Specific Lines:
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
Im thinking scar and Grian Desert Duo? also could be
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' shit I don't wanna know what my friends think
This im Deff thinking cleo bigb scott and lizzie from the Boogeyman series (i forgor wich one that is)
but open to other ideas
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
This is pearl playing with a dog, you cannot fucking make me change my mind
I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real
im either thinking like Ren or Martyn because of the acting thing or one of the scenes usually portrayed as lots of crying (ie Scott at the end of double life)
I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life
ive been thinking of this as jimmy in general but also i dont want to be mean so other ideas would be great
In some other life I would be rich I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill But couldn't complain 'bout anything small Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
havent given much thought for ones after this but im thinking Scar on Magic mountain trying to scam everyone?
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack I'd get invited to every frat But when you get old and your good days have passed You'll only want me when you're sad
have there been any people that bounce between alliances during one series?
Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
there was at least one dande floor that was a trap, right??
I wish I was big, as big as my house I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch God, I could really use him now
probably ep1 of WildLife
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? I could be cruel and break all your stuff Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
pov grain angst
grain is on super windy mountain top surrounded by watchers crying, pleading to them
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I never know who the hell I am
grian is surrounded by purple light wings and eyes becoming at least in part, a watcher
I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a shit Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
cut to peaceful tranquil plains, all of them jn a circle at beginning of life series laughing joking shaking hands hugging (set em up for emotional damage)
One, two, pandemonium
black, black, PAN DE MONIUM
cut to destruction of server only using reds browns and blacks showing carnage this series has brought (and yes ofc player has died messages will appear in the corner as if in chat)
One, two, pandemonium
im thinking each line will be each of the series in chronological order
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
One, two-
Here I go again
cut to beginning of ?wild life? they all have scars when their final kills have been, some look tired some look determined
if you end up making this animatic if you want to put me in the credits as like 'inspired by' :3 but honestly idc that much. but you HAVE to tell me if you post one bc i will watch the hell out of that
#god i need more tags
#traffic smp#traffic series#last life#double life#third life#life series#ajr#animatic#help#ideas#outline#grian#mumbo#goodtimeswithscar#skizzleman#implusesv#geminitay#tangotek#joel smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#zombiecleo#bigb#bdoubleo100#martyn inthelittlewood#scott smajor#rendog#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#pearlescentmoon#ethoslab
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Permanent Scars
(Hunter + Omega + Echo (NO ROMANCE!!))
This is a fic that was requested to me by @genericficerblog
I apologize for how short it is and for how long it took me to finish but I am actually quite proud of how this turned out!
Characters: Omega, Hunter, Echo
Type(s): Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Setting: Rex's Ship
Era: Shortly after Season 3 Episode 7
Other Small Details: Omega mentions something about her time on Kamino when talking about Tantiss. When Hunter and Echo probe a bit later, Omega gives an insight into the horrors she endured.
Please also include Omega showing her extensively IV Scarred Upper Arms/
(I hope this isn't too heavy for you)
This is not my usual type of story but I think branching out and writing different things is good and I think it helped me a lot.
I also want to preface again that there is NOTHING ROMANTIC BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS. Whatever is in this story is strictly between siblings. If anyone tries to say otherwise you will be blocked from my page indefinitely.
Warning: ANGST!!, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of medical procedures, needles, scarring, medical equipment, neglect, mistreatment, loneliness, Hunter and Echo being dads.
(DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THE WARNINGS ABOVE!! There are plenty of other fluffy stories on my Masterlist that are not angsty)
Words: 1.2K
—————
The ship was quiet for now, not many words to be spoken between the group after their losses on Teth. Rex and Hunter continued to speak in hushed voices as everyone else tried to shake off the awful feelings of the close calls.
Omega had woken up and was still leaning against batcher, just looking at the needle scaring on her left hand. She was used to endless needles from her time on Kamino and just like those scars, these would fade but never go away.
Omega stood up and walked over to Echo, taking his hand in hers. Echo jumped a little at the contact, not expecting Omega to be up.
“Everything okay kid?” He asked and kneeled down to her height, checking her over briefly.
“Do we have any bacta on board?” She asked quietly. Echo’s eyes went a little wide and he gave her another once over but Omega stopped him by raising her hand.
“I’m not hurt, I just want to put some on to help the scars fade,” she said and Echo visibly winced at the many needle marks etched into the young girls hand.
“Yeah, let’s go get you some,” Echo said and ushered Omega to the back of the ship, helping her sit up on the cot they had there.
Hunter had heard the whole exchange and from where he stood with Rex, excusing himself to check on Omega when he walked into the space, he closed the door to give the three of them privacy, walking over and giving Omega a short hug.
Omega returned the embrace readily, let her shoulders relax. Echo returned with bacta not a moment later and Hunter helped Omega out of her jacket, only to be left in her outfit from Pabu.
“How are you feeling Omega?” Hunter asked, checking Omega over just as Echo had done.
“I’m doing fine,” she replied shortly as Echo pulled up the sleeve of her left arm to rest in the middle of her forearm. He took her hand a gentle began to massage the bacta into it, being mindful not to apply so much pressure to the still slightly tender skin.
Omega closed her eyes and tried to breathe, not used to having anyone but AZ to help her with this process. Hunter Nnoticed and put his hand on Omegas shoulder, encouraging her to take deep breathes.
“I’m sorry if it hurts kid,” Echo said as he finished up, closing up the tube of bacta and going to put it away.
“It’s okay. Nothing I haven’t gone through before,” she said, looking down at her now bactaed and wrapped hand.
“What do you mean?”
“What?”
“What do you mean it’s nothing you haven’t been through before?”
Omega hesitated with her response, not having fully discussed with her brothers the exact treatment she received on Kamino. She trusted them immensely but this was something she didn’t like talking about. Echo had returned and was now standing with Hunter, not wanting to push Omega but also curious as to what she meant. She sighed, knowing it was futile to hide anything from her brothers.
“Tantiss wasn’t pleasant by any means. But somehow I was able to endure what they put me through. The needles everyday, the sight of my brothers beaten down and broken, the stoic faces of the doctors and the unforgiving loneliness I felt,” she spoke softly and Echo and Hunter listened. Both of them felt guilty for her capture after Eriadu, the lost of Tech hitting everyone hard and making them vulnerable.
“It felt almost like Kamino in a way. I was alone except for Nala se, the other Kaminoans were never mean but they also weren’t welcoming to me. Watching everyday as more of my brother came in from the front lines injured or shaken up was awful,” she took a deep breath, wiping away some of the tears that had gathered in her eyes. Recounting her time on either planet was hard, but she wanted to push through talking about it.
Omega rolled up her sleeves further and both Hunter and echo gasped at the shear about of scars that littered her arms. There were about 100 needle scars between both arms, some patches of skin bruised to indicate some kind of patch being used as well. There were a few scars along her forearms that indicated a scalpel had been used and burn marks here or there. Her arms were covered in them, all reminders of her time on Kamino not just as a science experiment, but as a prisoner.
“Omega,” Hunter whispered almost silently. She put up her hand to stop him as she kept talking.
“I was an experiment to them and nothing more. To Nala se, I was like a daughter but one that she could use as a test subject without feeling guilty about it. My blood was take, parts of my skin were tests, I was hooked up to wires almost everyday,” the haunted tone behind her voice made Echo turn away briefly to wipe his own eyes, flashes from his time on Skako Minor returning to him. She stood up and moved the hem of her pants down just the slightest bit to show the scars on her hips as well.
“They took bone marrow, part of my liver, so many things were taken and they always left scars. With time they faded and with AZ’s help I put bacta on them to help them heal and fade faster but the scars are permanent,” Omega said and readjusted her clothes, making sure that her scars were covered up once again.
“It’s not something I like talking about but I guess it gets easier when I do. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” She said and Hunter enveloped her in a tight hug, leaving no room for argument.
“You have nothing to apologize for Omega, none of this was your fault. Not Kamino, not Tantiss, not any of it,” Hunter spoke softly, his own tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he held his sister. Echo wrapped his arms around both of them, trying his best to contain his emotions as he patted Omega’s back gently.
“You’re safe now Omega. You’ll never be alone again. No one will hurt you anymore and you won’t have to go back to either of those awful places,” Echo said and he felt Omega nod into the hug, her shoulders shaking with raw emotions.
“Thank you. Both of you, for never giving up on me.”
“You’re our kid Omega. You always will be.”
Echo nodded in agreement as he pulled away from the hug. Hunter slowly did as well, keeping close to Omega as she wiped her eyes.
“Thank you listening to me. I know it’s not easy to hear about this, especially for you Echo,” she said and looked to him. Echo shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Like you said, it gets easier the more you open up about it,” he said and squeezed he shoulder very gently. Omega smiled at him and wiped away the last of her tears.
“We’ll protect you kid. I promise,” Hunter said and helped Omega down from the cot once more. She nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist again, wanting just one more hug. Hunter happily Obliged, wanting to reassure Omega that she was safe and sound.
—————
If you or someone you know has gone through a traumatic experience, please reach out to a helpline. DON’T go about suffering in silence. You’re loved by people and there are people out there who want to help you❤️
#star wars#sw tcw fanfic#sw tcw#sw tbb#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb wrecker#tbb omega#sergeant hunter#sw the bad batch#the bad batch x reader#arc trooper echo#star wars tbb#tbb fanfiction#tbb#star wars fanfiction
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Dissipating tracks
Origin of file: Logistics Archives
I.Ds detected:
- Silver haired Anon
- Hóng Haí'er
- Jiangguō Tianhong
File corruption: Mild
"Anything Tian?" (Haì'er)
"I've picked up 4 responses from the radars, although, all 4 of them are blaring, so i can't really get you the exact location where Yeva is..." (Tianhong)
"Classic Nova... that's fine Tian, I'll manage..." (Haì'er)
"By the way, why don't you just, idk call her? doesn't she have her phone?" (Tianhong)
"She doesn't, the Celestial court confiscated it the day she got there." (Haì'er)
"Really?? It's no wonder she wasn't responding to any of my calls or texts... and honestly, it was suspicious when they didn't let Ms. Chang'e see her too..." (Tianhong)
"True... What was up with that, it's like they were keeping her to themselves... might have found out there was more to her than just her powers.. they went as far as to-" (Haì'er)
"To... To what?" (Tianhong)
"N-Nothing... Okay look, I'll try to locate her on foot, I'll update you when i find her." (Haì'er)
"Alright Red... Good luck, bring Ms. Yeva home..." (Tianhong)
"That's the plan." (Haì'er)
↻ ◁ I ▷ ↺
{Estimated duration of search: 4 hour and 30 minutes}
Current location: (Main city area) District 12 <<
"Testing testing... Search log,, 1 hour and 30 minutes, no sign of 'The White Haired Esper' in the corner alleyway of the enterprise building... checking Megapolis Hospital now..."
"Not here, I checked the security cameras though, she did pass by here, but didn't stay for a long time... she went about 8 paces west, she must be headed for Wesalis District..."
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
{Estimated duration of search: 8 hours and 12 minutes}
Current location: Exit/Entrance of Wesalis to Dinsun District <<
"She wasn't near the shops, but people said they saw her pass by, I also found her hairpin somewhere near the benches... it probably came loose and fell off.."
"Yeva, where are you...?"
↻ ◁ III ▷ ↺
{Estimated duration of search: 12 hours and 21 minutes}
Current location: Crossing in Dinsun towards Opalesque District
"Yeva, why are you making this so difficult... no... no this is my fault she's like this, she probably doesn't want to see me after yelling at her.. when she just finally got to see me again, i blew it... damn... I'm such an idiot..."
"Look, I'm sorry okay?! I'm sorry i yelled at you.. I'm sorry for leaving you in the rain... can we talk about it... please? where are you..."
"... I remember how we used to play all sorts of games and pranks in these very streets and apartments... she always knew how to make anything fun..."
"I miss you Nova... please come back, you dropped your hairpin... you need it don't you?"
↻ ◁ IV ▷ ↺
{Estimated duration of search: 16 hours and 40 minutes}
Current location: Opalesque District,, West Sector <<
"Anything? Red?" (Tianhong)
"No... She's too fast, every time i think i finally got the lead she's 5 steps ahead of me.. She was just here by the park according to some sightings of her on social media... yet i still lose track." (Haì'er)
"Eeesh... !!- Red! I just got another radar alert" (Tianhong)
"Really?! Where?" (Haì'er)
"It's in District 7, near the weather station! quickly now, it's only been 10 seconds!" (Tianhong)
"Got it! Keep your eyes on that radar Tian!" (Haì'er)
↻ ◁ V ▷ ↺
{Estimated duration of search: 20 hours}
Current location: District 7,, road towards the Weather station
"Did you find her yet?" (Tianhong)
"Are you sure the radar pinged near the weather station?!" (Haì'er)
"Yes, I'm sure!" (Tianhong)
".... I- !!- I found h- She's-! YEVA!!" (Haì'er)
"Red? Did you find her? Red??" (Tianhong)
-- Record end --
-- Archive #1 of "Dissipating Tracks" restored --
#lmk fandom#lmk au#lmk oc#lego monkie kid oc#art#oc; yeva moon#lmk redson#oc; tianhong jiangguo#lmk rescripted au#•nierko zikloa•
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Aaron and Ein fighting because stupid love-incest-werewolf-brainwash-bullshit<<<<Katelyn beating Ein's ass at the end of PDH s2 for hurting her little brother
#IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG#I COULDNT FIND THE WORD#theres somethibg so special about it NOT being about aphmau for once#that WHOLE SEASON was about aph and aarons struggles of being too special and cool for thrir own good boohoo#its just soo good. for it to be about someone else for once#by the end of the season#aarmau is canon and making meme faces completely happy#you know where kacey is??? THE FUCKING HOSPITAL#wait no can you imagine katelyns ptsd when travis has to be held back after waf#btw was it ever discussed if kasey had permanent damage?#if you read all those uh thanks im losing my mind#aphmau#aphblr#aphverse#mystreet#mystreet katelyn#aphmau katelyn#aphmau kacey#mystreet kacey#mystreet ein#aaron lycan#aphmau ein#travlyn
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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Trafalgar Law and Faith
Pre-emptive warning this is going to be another LONG metapost/analysis. There’s a lot I could talk about here but for the sake of structure I’m going to split this into three sections, i.e. the main ��faith transitions’ that Law has gone through in the narrative thus far: 1. Flevance (catalyst for loss of religious faith), 2. Corasan (martyr that figuratively and literally saves law by giving him something to live for, introducing the will of D.), and 3. Luffy (cementing faith in this new belief system and regaining trust in the goodness of humanity through the living embodiment of everything Corasan believed in).
Before we get into all that though, let’s establish that Christianity is a thing in one piece. Speedrunning through some visual examples that come to mind; the Flevance church and nun (holding a celtic cross - censored in the anime version), a nun literally praying to God right before Marineford, Vinsmoke Sora’s grave marked with a cross (is op Christianity a northern thing?), Usopp and Chopper having crucifixes and holy water whenever ghostly stuff is brought up, Kuma and his trusty bible, the religious symbols on Kikoku’s hilt (could instead be more a reference to the Red Cross/symbol of humanitarian and medical aid as a doctor) and especially in whatever Mihawk’s got going on (though this could just be a Japanese cultural thing with Christianity being a minority religion or Oda just finding that some of the iconography, y’know. looks cool). There are also many other references to other religions e.g. hinduism, shintoism, buddhism, etc. Whether op forms of religion are the same as the real-world ones is debatable, and yes, Law being canonically raised as a devout catholic schoolboy with all the religious trauma associated with that is comical, but let’s take it all unironically for a hot minute. For fun.
1. Flevance
Law’s birthplace (Flevance) is described as being, at one point, “a very wealthy country with an unearthly beauty about it, with pure white soil and plants, like some kind of snow kingdom in a fairy tale.” The country’s wealth came from the very bedrock it sits on — white lead, which could be used to make various high quality products like tableware, cosmetics, weapons etc. When the wider world heard about this everyone wanted a piece of Flevance (the World Government also getting involved with distribution), and very quickly white lead became a “bottomless well of money”. So, hooray. Law gets to grow up in a rich city in a big house with educated doctor parents and probably gets to go to private school on weekdays and festivals with his family on weekends. One problem. In their greed, the Government and royalty have been knowingly hiding the truth about this supposed goldmine from the beginning. White lead is a toxic poison. Mining it from the ground over the last century and putting it in so many everyday products has resulted in it accumulating in the citizens’ bodies and leading to amber lead sickness, shortening their life-span with each successive generation – with the children of Law’s generation fated to die out before they reach adulthood.
In the bible (especially in the old testament), God often inflicted these insanely disastrous events upon humanity, usually as some kind of punishment for their wrongdoings or as a test of their faith. Some events of which include (but are not limited to): famine, outbreaks of disease and natural disasters (e.g. hail, wildfire, earthquakes, floods). Historically, these stories played a key role in how humanity interpreted meaning from horrible disasters (e.g. assuming bubonic plague was sent as a punishment by god). Fire imagery is very common among these disasters as a representation for hell, which is clearly reflected in the destruction of Flevance.
Sometimes these disasters had sole survivors act as messengers for God. With that context, let’s put ourselves back in the shoes of a ten-year old Law. Raised religious, freshly traumatised from losing his home, his devout family, all the comforts of his life, and having the outside world completely abandon him, this kind of event is likely going to be processed as some form of divine punishment. Law stumbles through hell, finds all his dead classmates, and the last words of sister nun echo through to him here. Merciful and salvation are huge catholic buzzwords – promises of holy compassion, deliverance and hope – and all of it fire and smoke and riddled with bullet holes before him. A genocide funded, perpetuated and covered up by the same body Law was promised was there to save them. And the only reason Law hadn’t died with them was because he wanted to stay with his little sister Lami, who was on her deathbed, and his parents, who were themselves trying to help the afflicted citizens, Law’s own father (before he was shot and killed alongside his mother) begging for more doctors, fresh blood, anything the world can offer, and asking “Why doesn’t the government announce to everyone that white lead is not infectious?”
Oftentimes (and in the case of Law), when there’s a promise of heavenly intervention or some miracle that doesn’t follow through, it results in an ultimate feeling of betrayal and anger. Unfortunately a lot of Catholic teachings also use a lot of guilt, essentially teaching people that the bad things that happen to you are your fault and there needs to be some sort of penance (queue Law’s survivor’s guilt that carries on down the road). But also, if this was supposed to be some divine punishment, for what exactly? For the town being blinded by the incredible wealth they were sitting on? Being lied to? Continuing to extract their livelihood, ignorant of its dangers? Punishment for who? His parents? His innocent little sister? For ten year-old Law? These people who believed in God, who were good people? That’s fucking stupid. None of these people suffered and died for any reason at all — certainly not for a sacred one. God hadn’t saved a single one of them. Law had to crawl out of hell himself by sneaking over the border under a mound of corpses.
Given everything that happened here, Law has every reason to fall into nihilism, and you can see how his upbringing would’ve bred a lot of the feelings of guilt, anger and resentment that you still see in Law (which would suggest that though this is where he likely cuts ties with the religious/Catholic component of his faith, growing up with these teachings in his formative years would definitely influence underlying beliefs about how the world works, and how Law behaves and subconsciously processes information), but at the same time, there’s usually some form of redemption and changes to how these patterns of behaviour can be approached later down the line.
2. Corasan
Fresh off witnessing his whole world burning down around him, Law meets Corazon at the very bottom of this pit of self-destructive rage and unprocessed grief. Rosinante himself mentions to Sengoku that the hatred in Law at this time reminded him of his brother, but beyond the anger, harsh pessimism, vengefulness, I think you have to reach to find similarities between them. You can see some fragments of Doffy in Law down the line at times, with Law seeming to enjoy violence (especially against the navy, but given what they did to Flevance, it’s some well-deserved retribution for Law imo), but I’m not so sure it’s the cruelty so much as it is the high he gets off his own flavour of justice. Doctor’s Hippocratic oath maybe, but never once does Law like seeing others die (even at this point, he’s in tears next to a dead body, even though he’s the one holding the knife), and later on in Wano he makes it explicitly clear to Zoro that he’d rather see the mission fail than have any of them end up dead.
Little Law wanted to destroy the world and everything in it, but thinking rationally, what other choice did this kid have? He had no remaining family, was doomed to die before he hit puberty due to a terminal illness, was perceived as an infectious subhuman that most doctors would’ve sooner tried to exterminate than help. To Law, the world had turned its back on him – considering him a monster for simply surviving. He has all this hatred and pain boiling away with him with no tangible target to direct it towards. And this is the first clear cut rejection of faith that we see in Law. Any concept of a merciful God had just died. What God would allow this? Why is Law alive (a question that he repeats to himself throughout his life), why are these scumbags alive, why is the world going on spinning as if nothing has happened when his whole world had gone up in flames, why does anyone at all get to be here when everything I loved is gone? And it’s far easier to fall into a despondent nihilistic stupor than it is to work through any of that, and what’s the point in trying to process and move on from it, when there’s no hope for a future for Law anyway? When the only thing waiting ahead is more pain? What was this, if not a punishment? He’s supposed to be some messenger for God? How about fuck God, or whatever entity that exists that made him suffer this. Law’s not going to be a messenger for shit, thanks, he’d rather be their monster, he’d rather watch the world burn.
Corazon survives Law’s stabbing and doesn’t rat the little shit out (to Law’s confusion). It’s business as usual for another two years, then, one day Rosinante overhears his true name - Trafalgar “D” Water Law, and everything changes. On the back of his own beliefs, Rosinante dedicates himself to making sure Law a) lives and b) doesn’t become his brother. Law’s relatively short six month stint with Corasan forms the basis of Law’s new creed going forward, and all it took was a bit of kindness, love and humanity when the rest of the world had abandoned him. In the end Rosinante doesn’t save Law for the will of D. and the storm he’s predicted to bring in the future (as Law suspects), but he certainly believes in it, and the strength of Corasan’s conviction transfers right over to Law when he forces the ope ope fruit down the kid’s throat to heal him, tells Law he loves him, then sacrifices himself to set Law free.
Law clings to that love he was given, he takes all these fundamental teachings and ways of thinking in regards to faith that were drilled into him during his youth, rejects the religion element and applies just about everything else to Corasan. He holds onto the last shreds of what Corasan leaves him with. Corasan becomes his “benefactor” (he gave my my heart), his saviour, his martyr.
And the crazy thing is, Rosinante was never really this saint Law makes him out to be. Law hated the clutz when they first met (mostly on account of Corazon throwing him through a glass window down at least two stories and into a pile of scrap). Corazon initially showed nothing but contempt for his presence (to ward him and the other children away from the Donquixote family, but these are still extreme measures). And it wasn’t until after learning Law’s name that Rosinante dragged him kicking, crying and screaming from hospital to burning hospital (not very saintlike in of itself), even after Law begged him to stop. Rosinante became Law’s saviour partly because of his belief in the will of D., and probably due to some guilt being a Donquixote, but mostly because he has always had a bleeding heart and he pitied (and had very quickly come to love) this angry, sick, deeply lost little kid. All this to say that Law’s faith in Corasan – this saintlike figure Law upholds him as in the future and the lengths he’s willing to go to avenge him/fulfil Rosinante’s purpose reflects the strength of the absolute beliefs Law would’ve been raised with in regards to God.
Whether it be out of survivor’s guilt (just one more body to heap on top of the Flevance pile), his love for Corasan, or for the sake of taking vengeance on the man that took away the one good thing he’d been able to regain in his miserable life, Law adopts Corasan’s will, the will of D. (which in of itself seems divine in nature), incorporates it into his new belief system, actively takes on the role of the divine punisher/justiciar and dedicates his life to bringing down Doflamingo.
3. Luffy
Catholicism dictates that the entirety of someone’s beliefs should be dedicated to one true cause (that cause being God) and expects people to ride on that, letting it carry them through life, give them hope, purpose, etc. But a lot of former Catholics choose instead to find that through something else. Corasan ignited the spark in Law’s faith around the will of D., but it’s not until he meets Luffy that this really becomes something that feels tangible and real for Law.
When Law saved Luffy in Marineford (putting the heart crew in danger for a stranger he met once), he said he did so “on a whim”, but that seems incredibly ooc for Law — this man that pretty much planned out how the rest of his life would go after the dust of Corasan’s death settled and he came to terms with the fact he wasn’t going to die at age thirteen like he’d originally thought. Circling back to the concept of Law being a sole survivor/messenger for God, it is interesting that Law is the one to seek out Luffy (given that Luffy is usually always the one either being abandoned by people or recruiting his crewmates), and Law is ultimately the catalyst for pulling him towards Dressrosa and Wano. There must be a REASON that led to Law deciding Luffy to be the most viable option out of the Worst Generation for an alliance (beyond blind trust in an unhinged captain that just so happens to also bear the initial D, and Luffy being one of the few captains crazy enough to go along with what Law was cooking up).
Law undoubtedly would’ve kept a peripheral eye on Luffy for some time before officially meeting him due to him being a rising competitor pirate and another “D” (I imagine the news of his utterly insane exploits would’ve made good reading material, too). The first time Law lays eyes on Luffy in Sabaody though, he still blows all expectations out of the water — crashing headfirst into the crowd of a slave auction and immediately committing a felony against a member of the most powerful upper one percent.
The world nobles are at an “untouchable God” tier in terms of class standing and believe it’s only natural for them to be entitled to whatever and whoever they want in this world that’s beneath them – the same kind of self-aggrandizing false divinity that Law has a a lot of repressed rage towards and that the will of D. is fated to oppose, so this, understandably, is a highly compelling first encounter, but it’s really only an initiating factor for what ultimately draws Law to Luffy. From their very first meeting (and probably before then, in the news stories and rumours Law likely picked up on), it’s made abundantly clear that Luffy does what he wants without a second’s hesitation, no matter the consequences, simply because he feels it is the right thing to do. Some call this an iron will, Law would be more inclined to call it willful stupidity and trouble, but time after time Luffy somehow manages to pull off what Law would best describe as “miracles”. And Law believes the straw hats just might be the ones to drum up another one for him.
Luffy’s also got a lot of passing resemblances to Corasan going for him, e.g. inherently kind, compassionate liberators with big dumb hearts and wide goofy smiles in spite of everything they’ve been through, treating Law as nakama and saving his life despite his protests etc. All of which I’m sure Law hasn’t been completely unaffected by despite the high walls he puts up. And the more Law learned about Luffy the more it probably became clear that he is the antithesis to Doflamingo, i.e. what makes Luffy so goddamn dangerous and terrifying beyond his physical power is his ability to make friends with a simple kind of unconditional love that gets reciprocated enough so that these friends are willing to die for him.
Luffy agrees to the alliance, they successfully blow up Caesar’s base, and head off to Dressrosa. Now’s the time I should bring up that it’s taught in Catholicism that self sacrifice is the ultimate heavenly deed, and here Law is undoubtedly prepared to be a martyr for his cause. Law sends away his crew to Zou before Punk Hazard with the expectations that he’d never see them. He cultivates a fierce emotional detachment against Luffy’s willingness to bring him into the fold of the straw hats, and is resolute in that when the time comes, he will handle this himself, he will carry out Corasan’s will, and if he has to die for it, he will die with Corazon’s name plastered on his back. (Note here that Christianity is contradictory in that Law being this ready to die here is a sin, because revenge and suicide are highly discouraged, so you could say that by avenging and dying for his saviour, Law would be committing both the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate sin).
Things get very dicey for Law in Dressrosa, to put it lightly. Doflamingo reveals that he was a celestial dragon (linking back into the will of D. “enemy of the Gods” notion), puts Law on the backfoot and gives him a thorough beating before shooting Law with a couple dozen white lead bullets in front of Luffy (because even when he’s winning Doffy loves to be a cunt about it). By the time Doflamingo is cuffing Law to the heart seat, it’s all looking pretty grim, and it’s very apparent when Luffy shows up to save him, that he is ready to die.
Law here has given up. He spent years planning his revenge for Corasan, but he lost, and he has very little left in the tank (physically, emotionally, spiritually). But Luffy doesn’t listen. Luffy who doesn’t think, doesn’t care, who trampled all over Law’s carefully laid out plan from the get-go and who is willing to take on Doflamingo single handedly for the simple slight that he dared to harm Luffy’s friend Law. Law will never find peace in his own demise because Luffy doesn’t do peaceful. He does loud and unashamed and open with no rhyme or reason other than the excruciatingly simply fact that he loves people and he thinks the people he loves deserve to have good lives. Luffy chucks Law over his shoulder and drags an injured Law across the city despite his protests (sound familiar?) and in the process inspires the fighting spirit in Law again.
When Law confronts Doflamingo again with Luffy in tow, Law’s faith in Luffy confounds him. The last Doflamingo remembers of Law is this beautifully moldable dark pit of grief and rage who’d given up on believing, period – who wanted the world destroyed. Not so long ago, Law had been a candidate for Doflamingo’s next protégé. Now?
THIS is the action (grinning, staring down the barrel of a gun, flipping Doffy off as he tells him in not so many words that he may kill Law but he will never beat Luffy), Law’s unshakeable faith in the face of his own death is what has Doflamingo realising he will never regain control of Law again – is what incites Doflamingo to go from breaking Law down so he can build him back up again, to conceding defeat and outright killing him.
The trust that Luffy inspires in Law and the way he talks about Luffy (Luffy being this powerful, miracle-inducing liberator that Law can’t comprehend but follows anyway, Law laying down his hopes on him, weaponizing the will of D. to try and provoke fear from Doffy), is very reminiscent of the awe and faith talked about in scripture. Law discovers the feelings of comfort and hope that Catholicism was supposed to give him in Luffy, but Law’s belief in Luffy is a direct rejection of those teachings. Rejection by believing in a real life person as opposed to the divinity he was taught about. He’s also cementing his belief in the will of D., thus rejecting Doflamingo and all the people that embody the sort of “all powerful” divinity that he abhors (i.e. celestial dragons, Kaido, the Gorōsei/five elders) for the embodiment of hope and humanity.
When Law survives (again), he expresses he’d rather see Luffy beat Doflamingo with his own eyes or die with Luffy if he loses than leave. Then he watches, after all this talk of miracles, looking up in reverence as Luffy delivers, bright as the sun, haloed by the bars of a cage that’s haunted him for over a decade, Corasan’s words echoing at the back of his mind. God had never saved or freed Law, but Corasan was there for him, the heart crew was there, Luffy was there. And this is Law’s biggest, clearest rejection of religion – this newfound faith in humanity.
This faith in Luffy is put to the test again in Wano when Luffy is struck down by Kaido, but Law never truly stops believing that he’ll make a comeback. Even when the straw hats doubt whether he’s alive or not, something tells him Luffy’s not dead, and he holds onto that hope.
We also have the whole nika/joyboy backstory which really only reinforces all of this imagery/god-fearing looks of awe from Law and this idea of Luffy who is this perfect juxtaposition of empathetic and kind to incredibly fearsome fire and brimstone fighter. And regardless of whether you’re into the ship or not this is the impetus of Law’s relationship with Luffy for me, because here’s Luffy who has every right to have a chip on his shoulder and be downtrodden about all the injustices against him, here’s this little guy who against all odds, in the darkest of places, embodies light and hope and kindness and proves to Law that there will be hard times but there IS a happy ending at the end of the tunnel, despite it all. And everytime Luffy rises to the insurmountable challenge and wins, it just further cements that the will of D. is alive, that Corasan was right, that there's something redeemable in Law, a reason why he was worth saving, even if Law doesn’t understand it quite yet.
#merry christmas law religious trauma be upon ye#what’s an endearing idiot to a non-believer#long post#favourite character thesis statement. or something#ive been wanting to talk about this for a while but just been gathering my thoughts#will preface all this by saying I was not born or raised religious but the concept’s all very compelling from an outsider’s perspective#but I have had conversations about this to people like lesbianluffy who *were* raised catholic and relate to this experience#who I have to thank a lot for helping me wrap my head around this#this is a compilation of thoughts and conversations over the last two or so months#one piece#op#CJ's op watch-through#trafalgar law#monkey d. luffy#donquixote rosinante#donquixote corazon#monkey d luffy#lawlu#trafalgar d water law#gear 5 luffy#sun god nika#wano spoilers#lulaw#op meta#op analysis#one piece analysis
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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“I didn’t say anything.”
“You so rarely do,” Akechi sighed, “and yet, you really are transparent, you know that?”
“You’re the only one who thinks so,” says Ren.
Akechi smiled beatifically. “You know,” he says, “it’s incredibly satisfying to hear that.”
“You want to be the one who knows me best?”
“I’d like to be the only one who knows you at all, if we’re getting this far into my indulgences,” Akechi said with an odd laugh. “But we’re getting off track, Ren. Why don’t you go on and deliver your judgement on our friend Achilles?”
“But you already know what I think.”
“True. But I wonder if I can convince you otherwise, and it won’t be fair if you don’t present your best case.”
“Because you disagree or because you want to argue?”
“Wouldn’t I only want to argue if I disagree?” Akechi asked.
“Or you disagree because you want to argue,” Ren said.
He always did this. They always did this. The two of them would start walking the conversational path together, side by side, even arm in arm, and then Akechi would point off the beaten track and hold his lantern out. With an inviting crook of his finger he drew Ren into the woods. Each and every time, Ren followed him off the road and into the fog until Akechi, if he so wished, could push him smilingly into a gorge.
--
chapter 8 of "as you like it", my akechi palace au, 7k. in a flashback, akechi tells ren about the iliad (i tell you about the iliad). in the present, ren sits with a shadow of his rival, deep in the bowels of the Theatre.
#it's my party and i can make akechi talk about the iliad for a while if i want to#p5#akeshu#rookfic#persona 5#this is the chapter ive been most excited to share since i started writing the fic in 2019#part of it has been written since then#it almost feels weird to post it now like ive been building to it for so long#but like. good weird! im really happy to share it.#AYLI
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god 'basically i'm gay' destroys me for all the obvious reasons but i'm thinking specifically about the phrasing "and obviously, we were more than friends" and basically not elaborating past that. dan simply said, obviously. like; you knew. we knew you knew. we hid it and you still knew and you made it very clear. and it was in a scary intense invasive way, especially for a guy who was deeply closeted, but i'm also thinking about how he's said since then that without the community of fans that had formed from this, he might never have had the courage to come out and would still to this day probably be a miserable straight lawyer. except for how obviously they were together. and i'm just wondering how that must feel for him. if they hadn't been so obvious people might not have figured it out, but without this terrifying state of being perceived he might never have been able to be his true self.
im giving myself a migraine
#i understand completely if he never wants to do this but god what i wouldnt give for dan to write like. a really long essay or another book#or something just talking about what the fuck that was like for him#im someone who cant deny who i am to myself even when ive sometimes wanted to so dans story is really quite foreign to me anyway?#so im really curious about it in general. but also just in the sense of like.#i dont think anyone in the world has ever been through what dan has and never will again#my head hurts#dan and phil#basically i'm gay#daniel howell#dan howell#phan
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not enough people talk about "dont turn the lights off" ngl. this song + the daycare theme song have been ON LOOP for me. on loop while i draw. on loop while i do chores and cook. on loop while i work. on loop if i need to concentrate on something- no ANYTHING. it's such a comfort to me. this song has a DEATH GRIP on me. WHIMSY UNMATCHED. you don't understand how much this song fuels me to keep creating DCA content for myself ohhh my god.
"lights on" doesn't even compare for me (WHICH OFC i like the song + with the recent release of "best friend" im still giddy)
which, i feel the need to add, this song is pivotal for my motivation to write EBY (wip dca fic im working on rn). like idk i feel invincible when this song plays ig lmao.
#pingyappathon#i eat sleep and breathe DCA rn#i just want someone to get me like srsly understand how deep this hyperfixation is and how important DCA is to me#i need to sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs#it's just THAT good u dont understand#or maybe you do#do you?#please tell me you do cause im GONNA LOSE IT. its so lonely out here#shaking yall rn cause am i missing something like did i miss the excitement that came and went??#i just dont understand why it's not talked about as much cuz i genuinely think it's a BANGER? pls guys its soooo good!!#like the happiness i get from listening to it and the stims are unrivaled my goshgaj#literally its been in my spotify rotation for about 3 months straight :sob:#unless if im totally wrong and we're silently appreciating this masterpiece because guys I NEED TO YAP AB IT. LOUDLY. OBNOXIOUSLY.#ive wanted to make an animatic with it for SOOOO long too AGH#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#Spotify#that or play it on my uke one of these days even if my singing isn't that great (im havin fun lol)
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me
since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.
(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)
harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.
harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.
louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around
the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!
louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.
the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”
louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'
harry flirting with stanley tucci
louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!
all along
harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc
rainbow flare during the btm mv
harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes
28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!
kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing
harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?
harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)
louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling
harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."
louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour
harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket
louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel
harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)
louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival
harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."
continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here
harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel
louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar
harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)
harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23
the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals
harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally
as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.
louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it
oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too
harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped
that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????
harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up
louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks
harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex
harry dressed in skirts for gucci
"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"
"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"
satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt
louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????
harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits
harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol
and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.
#queer signalling#my posts#long post#anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait#but these were my personal highlights#this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this#but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot#and forget a lot#and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small#but... then i make big things into something small.#which i hate#going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it#ive complained about this many a time i know#anygays#for whoever wants to come scream with me <3#also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post#since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already#also that gif is how i feel rn.#how i often feel tbh#i want to be braver again
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some photos from the all the president's men blu-ray features i haven't seen posted before
#its very possible that these have been posted before but i havent seen them so i want them all in one post#many things to talk about here. most importantly. a second angle of the lean in scene has hit the towers.#dustin on the bike has made me wonder if there was originally a scene of carl cycling but they cut it. which would have devasted real carl#btw you would not believe what i went through to get these. it was a weeks spanning saga it was a whole thing#ive learned its very difficult fixating on such an american thing and not living in america#micah.txt#journalism yaoi tag#long post#(← not too long i think but i dont want to annoy people)
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