#ITS NOT EVEN JUNE FOR ME YET WHY IS EVERYONE GOING FUCKING CRAZY

[vyragosa]

[nutzworth]

its 6/12! i HAVE to read homestuck! i didnt read ANY last month. oops

DAY 9: JUNE 12, 2024

STATS: read for 2 hours and 30 minutes pages read: 1903-2068. 165 pages. act 5!!!!!! page 2000! slur count: 13 + 0 = 13 silly count: 13 + 0 = 13 piss count: 2/3

THOUGHTS: ohhh my god. ok not much original thought here but by god did a lot happen

ok LOTS OF TROLLS. this time. but we will get into that later

johnkat is so funny. karkat just kind of sucks. i guess were getting into it now HES SO FUNNY! hes so mean. esp to his troll friends in act 5. he has no whimsy and no fun. he loves to lie. hes oppressed hes a MUTANT yet he wants to join the military. even though the military would KILL HIM for being who he is. ohhh my god. his clean ass room. his romcoms. he loves romcoms. he sucks at programming. he keysmashes in here WHATEVER. back to the kids

soooo much guardian lore... so much LORE. i love nanna and i love pa harley. and their upbringing THEYRE SO WEIRD.

(about pa harley) ADVENTURE!!!! oh my god. "She can handle it, he tells her. He believes in her." AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOPE PLAYER! i love the hope aspect im gonna go crazy in act 6 when jake is there. but right now? this is FOOD. im EATING IT UP!

michael guy bowman is so john egbert voice. its canon that dave strider is a whiteboy and that michael guy bowman is literally john egbert and thats IT.

dave is being so rude and mean to terezi. for the girl that said to john "WOW. MAKING FUN OF A BLIND GIRL? FUCKED UP!!!!!" she sure does turn a blind eye (LOOOL) to dave being like "yeah me and this guy? all up best friends. you know why? we can both see. and were going to this see party and theres so much shit and paintings and its great. to look at. and FUCK YOU. for being BLIND." and terezis cackling about her wonderful D4V3 1S TH1S YOU? drawings. theyre funny

[S] DESCEND!!!!!!!!! oh my god. what a flash. this would make me crazy if i was an upd8 reader. JACK NOIR IS INSANE. HE JUST KILLS EVERYONE! the music is sooo good too. it matches so well. its SCARY.

speaking of jack noirs destruction: ok here's more about wv. this is probably so surface level but it drives me crazy i need to restate it ok wv is a regular ass farmer. hes normal. the WAR comes. hes like GOD THIS SUCKS! he starts a revolution. he unites both sides. hes radical hes powerful and by god is he AWESOME. he faces jack noir. him and his big ass army. jack noir KILLS ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE ALL DEAD! except wv. which hussie puts it in the recap "Jack then killed the entire rebellion army, sparing only WV?. Perhaps to leave a survivor to tell the story, or perhaps out of respect for a fellow mutineer. Only he knows." WHAT????? WHAT!???? OKAY and so wv is surrounded by his brethren. his friends. his army. ALL DEAD. and at the same time prospit falls to skaia. and out from it is johns dream self. and a PLUSHIE. OF JACK NOIR.

this is insane. its like humiliating. its awful. its like jack is laughing at wv's face. oh my god. anyway wv rips it apart and hes real for that. I LOVE YOU WV!!!!!!!!!!!

not to mention PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me just put some badass images in here. so you know

SHES SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes pissed off shes SO pissed off. she kills hb and uses his walkie talkie to call over jack noir. shes standing on that hill with the blood of jack's coworker flowing in the adjacent creek holding both the crowns covered in blood. she gets the promised package and SHOVES it in johns arms and storms off. shes PISSED OFF!!!! RIGHTFULLY SO! OH MY GOD!

and then the PACKAGE.... obviously you KNOW im crazy about the jake english cameo. but also....

this made me crazy. i like almost cried. oh my god. shes JUST DEAD. ON THE FLOOR. JOHNS SITTING THERE READING THESE LETTERS AND JADE IS DEAD!!!! IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob. oh my god. and he sheds One tear. and then jack comes to kill him

i loooove how homestuck goes panel-heavy sometimes... along with the short "a [...] is [...]. [...], [...]." which makes no sense in writing. let me give you some examples

i love it. it makes the reading more poetic and slow. its like, make your own opinions on the subject matter. its matter-of-fact. its simple. its SAD. its like this event is so disconnected from everything were going in third person to describe it. its curt and its AWESOME. I LOVE IT!!!! i think if skaia had dialogue or narration or anything this is what it would sound like. it would give you pictures and a short description, and it would say "go fetch".

ok recap. not much but hussie says "Back in the meteor lab, John began the ectobiology session which appeared to have been prepared for him in advance by the guardians who had just been there." which i think is so cute. the guardians prepared it FOR him.... homestuck is truly a story about kids and the things that control/lead them. guardians/skaia/fate/each other/first guardians(bec, doc scratch). even the story itself. so awesome

THEN ACT 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the silly name for alternia translates to "turd odor fuckball" which is funny. and karkats silly name translates to "nookstain bulgereek" which makes sense

whats REALLY interesting to me is karkats parallels with dave. even in these first few pages karkat is SO SIMILAR to him. both slice their teasing names in half and say that they dont have time. theyre "Kind of a big deal, ok?". they have a need to seem "cool". karkat narration has the line "This was not the coolest thing you could have done just now." which threw me for a loop: i never thought of karkat needing to seem Cool. but he does he wants to. hes a leader. he pretends to be a leader. he doesnt want to show to sollux that he thinks highly of him cus he needs to seem COOL. i love karkat

alternia is a planet full of tragedy. they need to sleep in sopor slime to assuage the nightmares of "blood and carnage". theyre surrounded by so much evil and destruction that they need DRUGS EVERY NIGHT to be normal. auuugh.

honestly i pity gamzee waaaay more than i pity karkat. karkat has it good for all i care in the beginning. hes just not sharing his blood color. GAMZEE THOUGH? everyone thinks hes annoying. you can tell hussie writes him as if he's a joke; its clear hussie hates gamzees character and wants you to hate him too. but i cant. hes a hippie and an addict and a black boy. and i feel SO BAD that hes written like that. he could have been great if he wasnt in this situation :-( im sorry gamzee

rip sollux you would have loved reddit

karkat at the end of the karkat/sollux convo kills me. "hey i know we just bantered about how much we hate each other and stuff, but are we still friends?" hes so cute. are we still friends. yeah... yeah. and sollux is like "you say this EVERY TIME. are you joking" and karkats like "Yeah. Yeah im joking haha. Sure am" the poor guy. just wants friends THEYRE JUST KIDS!!!!!! SOB!!

i love terezi. shes so ANNOYING. and i love her for it. shes just fooling around all the time. she wants to piss people off. "Ohhhh karkat youre sooooo handsome and heroic!" hahahahahaha. she does NOT care. "But all of your scalemates are alive to you. ... At least you pretend to believe that to annoy people." SHES SO FUNNY! she gives NO fucks. i love how shes drawn too

then karkat comes in all like HEY TEREZI. IM THE LEADER!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU! what an asshole. but terezi dont care. you know what she does? "lol ok." and then "yeah the leader goes on this badass and seriously cool heroic adventure and hes awesome. and me (the second in command) gets to sit down and do nothing and be bored and its no fun" and karkats like "YEAHHH!!!! IM THE HERO! WOOOO!" and then it cuts to the actual game and terezis been fooling around with her gamey god powers. hahahahahahaha so awesome

okay thats it. i love aradia i saw like 2 of her. maaaybe ill read more this summer :-) bye bye thanks!

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[life-with-a-4yearold]

my first post!

So I decided I would start blogging, but didn’t know where to start. Why I decided was because my life is hectic, chaotic, funny and down right stressful. I have a 4 year old child a 2.5 year old german shepherd and a partner we have a 3 bed ex council house and live in a lovely little village. All seems great ? well no… we may sound like your typical family but we have a lot of baggage our life isn’t perfect in fact far from perfect. We have our arguments we have days where we laugh non stop, there are days when all I want to do is cry and forget the world. Times are tough when you have a 4 year old who doesn’t want to listen and is so head strong that you feel like breaking down but yet shes the most caring child and loves us and her dog more then anything, like we love her. So I decided i would write about it to let people no they are not alone. I’ll tell you something, its not easy having children I only have one and find that hard. Starting from the beginning. Pregnancy was terrible, heartburn, sickness, aches and pains. I found out I just was pregnant November 2018. I had her on June 18th 2019. She starts school this year. What 4 years its been, we have moved 3 times. Our first dog died he got run over. We then got another dog his an arsehole we got him when my daughter was 1 and he was 9 weeks old. Now that was a mistake! Having a 9 week old puppy and 1 year old just walking. Now shes 4 and his nearly 3 they have both become best friends and wont leave each others side, typical german shepherd behaviour.

Days turn in to weeks in this house, I do anything for a simple life. Cant be arsed to put the washing away I wont, don’t feel like hoovering today I wont. I do everything and its ok to have a day off every now and then, we have a take away on a Saturday night so I don’t have to cook 7 times out of 10 we will have one then too. I HATE having to cook when I don’t want to. The theought of having to think of what to cook for dinner drives me crazy! And no one eats the same thing EVER roast dinner I im the only one who eats veg. my daughter will eat carrots peas and broccoli my partner don’t eat fuck all. Im fed up of doing different dinners, no what I think the dog actually eats more then what we do. No point in me even buying dog food he eats everything they leave which is pretty much the whole plate! End up doing cheesy pasta!! Fucking cheesy pasta.

Days out? Yeah all sound great until you get a screaming 4 year old because they want an ice cream which costs about £8? Since when did 99’s cost so much ? no wonder no one wants to go out anymore, we went to the zoo just to get in cost £109.98! for the FUCKING zoo!! As we was walking round you get them people that just decide to stop in the middle of the path and get in everyones fucking way and DON’T move. Finally get passed mumbling fucking idiots under your breath. Still while youre kids screaming because you’ve refused to pay £8 for a 99. Sweating because its 1000 degrees. Thinking what the fuck was I thinking. To make things worse walk past the gorillas and they are only having abit and now got to explain to a 4 year old that they are just playing, and that’s what they do. Had to buy the £8 ice cream to get her to move away from them. So not only are we sweating skint and now traumatized, we have a 4 year old that’s witnessed 2 gorllias going at it. Well that’s the only thing she did see as no other bastard animal was out!! Now were all hungry thirsty and fed up… find a nice little food shack got 2 burgers and a hot dog and shared some chips…. £36.00 sorry what ? for 2 burgers a hot dog and one portion of chips ? didn’t even get the drinks because my idiot partner forgot them!! Well glad he did would have had to taken out a second mortgage! Fucking livid at this point, in the end we walked round rest may have seen a zebra could have been a rhino, I was so hot and thirsty I don’t know what I was seeing. Gift shop on the way out why??? The DRAMA we had when we said she couldn’t have anything because it was to expensive. Dragging her out by her feet, while shes screaming she wants a monkey. LAST thing I wanted to see. FINALLY we gave in got her it and then finally got back to the car, shes strapped in and me and my partner look at each other with the look of defeat and just sigh. Drove home in silence the whole way. TRAUMATIZED by the experience. Bitch bag is in the bag seat flat out asleep clenching her new £18.00 toy that is about the size of a small banana. Excuse the pun. Ive never looked forward to getting home so much in my life. We ended up all having a bath put fresh pjs on I opened and drank 2 bottles of wine while crying lol. Ordered a kebab watched the rest of Paw patrol the movie and off we went to bed. Day over all to be done again in a couple weeks time.

To Be Continued….. one very tired and stressed mum.  

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

A Good Deal

lets not talk about what day it was bogizens... 👀 this is part of the hallmark june weddings event we did in the bog!  

it’s also on ao3 here!

Warnings: insecure eskel, stressed triss, honestly its pretty fluffy., could be classified as mild emotional whump.

_____________

Triss was frantic when Eskel trudged up the stairs to the back door in the kitchen. He paused for a moment, leaning against the railing where he could just see her through the window in the door, box braids falling out of her loose bun, some sort of sauce smudged on her forehead, her arm muscles standing out and furiously beating the ever-loving shit out of whatever was in her bowl. Fuck, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. A little scary too, but that was his type.

“Afternoon, Gorgeous,” he called through the screen door, waiting for her to unlock it.

Instead of her normal ‘Afternoon, Handsome,’ he got a snappy, “If any bit of your clothing has been at the fire station, take it off out there. I just got the floors clean, and I don’t have time to do them again before the wedding.”

“If you wanted a striptease you could have just asked,” he chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head and kicking his boots off. All of him had just come from the station.

“Eskel, please,” her voice was about an octave higher than when he liked to hear those words normally, and the tightness at the end of her words made him worried.

“I’m clean, ish, can I come in?”

When she let him in she only gave him a quick peck before it was back to what Eskel could now see were egg whites.

“What’s wrong?”

That was apparently the wrong question. Triss dropped the bowl back onto the counter and braced herself against it, hanging her head. Her shoulders looked so tense Eskel thought the muscles might snap, “Fucking everything. Yen’s parents are getting in tomorrow and I only have the middle floor flipped because Annalee called in sick and Taylor is nowhere to be found, and I have to get this breakfast prepped because I have to make sure there’s food for the girls to eat while they get ready. Then I still have to call Jaskier and see when he’s bringing the cake and décor over and I have to run into the store to get the food for the next three days while they’re here and one of Yen’s aunt’s is allergic to everything under the fucking sun! Oh! And I also need to tell Jask to do everything last minute as far as the cake goes because I don’t have the fridge space and-and there’s still a goddamned molehill in the backyard where they’re having the ceremony and-“

Eskel wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing one hand over her sternum and one over her stomach, and held her tight while he whispered, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. Just take a minute to breathe for me?”

She took a shuddering deep breath and let it out as she rested her head back against his chest, brushing a stray braid out of her eyes, “…and I have a headache…”

“That,” Eskel mumbled, pausing to press a kiss to her forehead, “we can fix quickly.” He pulled them over to her medicine cabinet and handed her some ibuprofen and a large glass of water, also insisting she sit and eat something.

After a minute or two of Triss picking at some leftover pasta salad she groaned and shoved it away, “ and my mother called.”

“How’re Sheila and the dogs?”

“Fucking unbearable,” she grumbled, pitching her voice up and scrunching her nose to imitate her mother’s nasally voice, “ When are you settling down? I was so excited when you said wedding! Haven’t you hired an inn manager yet? Why do you still clean rooms? Did you read that diet book I sent you?”

Pushing her pasta back towards her after the last question, Eskel did his best to remain casual and calm, “I thought she hated me?”

“She hates all of my partners on principle, but you’ve made the top spot for ‘least hated’,” Triss shot him a little smirk as she aggressively stabbed some more pasta, “I told her I’m quite settled and we’re happy for now and to get her nose out of other people’s business- yes I see the irony .”

Eskel forced a bit of a laugh and tried not to bite his lip. He’d been thinking about this since Yen and Renfri’s engagement party. The way Triss looked at him while the couple gushed about how they were so excited to spend the rest of their lives together (and torment some relatives with making it official) had settled in the back of his mind and refused to leave. Every day, he flip-flopped on whether there was a little hope there or if she just thought it was sweet. And every day he berated himself for not bringing it up, but he had never even entertained the idea of marriage. Hell, his main relationship had been a friends-with-benefits arrangement with Geralt, and the few before that had been rocky at best. He wasn’t cut out to be a husband. Certainly not to someone so kind and gentle and fiercely loyal and sharp as Triss. What did he have to offer? A dangerous job and nasty burn scars for their wedding photos?

She must have sensed his hesitation and pushed her pasta over to him, “Eat. I need to keep cooking… and clean the top floor.”

He hooked an arm around her waist as she walked around the little kitchen island they sat at, pulling her close and stealing the keys out of her pocket, “I’ll go get groceries after I clean the top floor. Is the laundry started?”

“You’re too good to me, Teddy Bear,” she sighed, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Not good enough.”

She frowned, resting her palm over his jaw and searching his eyes, “We’ll come back to that when the inn is ready.”

As he stood, he stole a quick kiss and darted up the stairs, “You’re taking a nap when the inn is ready!”

-

It had all come together in the end. Triss even got some impressed looks and glowing reviews from Yennefer’s family when they arrived. The periwinkle went beautifully with the gardenia Triss had woven through the lattice around the backyard and Eskel had managed to make the moles disappear and patch the grass so even she couldn’t tell where they’d been.

Eskel watched Triss dart around the property, even after her job was done, making sure everyone was comfortable and everything ran smoothly for the girls and as much as he tried to push it down, he was just reminded of how she deserved so much more. More than a scarred, overweight firefighter with a killer therapy bill and a studio apartment that looked more like a hotel room than a home.

As he was watching the different couples swooping around the tiny courtyard dance floor, hands materialized on his shoulders, immediately digging in right where he held tension.

“Now it’s really over,” Triss whispered in his ear.

“Oh? Will you take that nap now?” Eskel shot her a grin over his shoulder as he covered one of her hands with his.

She smiled at him as if he’d said something adorably cute and inaccurate, “I’ll take a dance ?”

Standing up and spinning Triss once before pulling her close to his side, Eskel sighed, “I guess I’ll have to settle for that then.”

Giggling a tad bit deliriously, they made their way onto the dance floor and snuck into a space between the other couples. Eskel did his best to relax and stay in the moment. He took deep breaths and mentally listed little observations about his surroundings, most of which revolved around Triss, and he even tried to distract himself by making some rather suggestive advances, but no matter what he tried, he was still thinking about what she deserved and how it was everything he wasn’t.

Triss rested her hand on his cheek and gave him her trademarked wide-eyed worried look, “Are you alright? Is your knee acting up?”

“M’fine,” he lied, “Just the champagne.”

“Bullshit.”

He should have known she’d call him on it, even in the middle of a wedding she wouldn’t let him get away with anything. Just another reason he wasn’t good enough for her.

Glancing around nervously, Eskel whispered in her ear, “Can we do this later?”

“Absolutely not. You’ve been acting strange for weeks now and it’s making me crazy,” Triss tapped on the point of his chin firmly, calling his attention back to her as they swayed and stepped in a small circle like everyone else.

“Been making me crazy too…” he mumbled, only receiving a furious glare that urged him to continue, “You’re… Triss you’re perfect. I love you more than anything and anyone I’ve ever loved before…”

Tears welled in her eyes as Triss brought them to a standstill, gripping his arms for dear life, “But?”

Eskel couldn’t help tucking her long thin braids behind her ear and caressing her cheek, “But I don’t know why you’re with me. Every time this wedding gets brought up I think about how you deserve someone so much more… whole than I am. Someone who can give you what you want and who doesn’t have a horribly dangerous job and doesn’t look like the Pillsbury doughboy…”

“First off,” Triss started, almost growling as she dragged him off the dance floor and in through the back door to the kitchen, “I thought you were breaking up with me so please lead with what you’re nervous about next time,” Eskel followed, absolutely dumbfounded as he was sat down on a stool like he was in trouble with the principal, “Second, I find your extra weight sexy as hell- no arguments! That is my opinion and it is final . Third- and this one is important- you are the most thoughtful, caring, kind, and gentle person I have ever had the absolute pleasure to share a room with, let alone sleep with. I decided you’re what I wanted a long time ago. No one else has ever told me to take a nap before” she giggled, pausing to hold his face between her hands, “You don’t need to be anything other than you for me to be happy.”

She wiped a tear from his cheek with her knuckles, a fond smile playing on her lips as she drew him in, hugging him tightly so his head rested on her shoulder. His arms wrapped around her waist and squeezed like he was scared she might disappear if he didn’t hold her tight enough.

“Thank you,” He whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Triss whispered back, trailing her nails over his scalp and through his soft hair, “Anytime you need a reminder you tell me. Deal?”

Eskel sniffed and pulled himself back together, leaning back to give Triss a quick kiss, “Deal.”

[honesthammie]

From my prompt list:

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

Fandom:Doctor who

Pairing: 13 x gender neutral reader

This is my first fic on tumblr. I know its hella long and not all of my fics will be like this. This came to me from a dream I had recently. I love Jodie and I decided to write the spider episode from a different perspective. I may have change the episode slightly to fit the reader. I am thinking of doing a part 2 but it may be a while before I do as I have deadlines and stuff to keep up with. The next part may be more fluff between 13 and yourself. I know this didn't have much but it's something. I'm also sorry to any Americans reading this, I love yas but its just the personality I put to go with the readers personality. I'm also sorry for any spelling mistakes as I'm doing this on my phone.

Summary: spider episode with a small change I'm plot to accommodate your beautiful self in this fic

Warnings: slight description of a couple of panic/anxiety attacks, swearing and a bit of angst. Long intro for small fluff. And it's a part 1 do I guess a small cliffhanger is a warning?

Beep beep beep. Your alarm starts blaring in your ears, waking you up with a start. You glare at the interrupting machine before turning it off. After such a crazy night, you did not want your sleep so rudely interrupted. Why did you have a crazy night? It's your 18th birthday today and your friends decided to visit your place for a little house party, last night, to celebrate and now you have a pounding headache.

You groaned as you realised, you would need to take some pain meds before you even think about going back to sleep. Slipping out of your bed, you walk to the bathroom and find the cupboard with all sorts of medicinal and bathroom bits and bobs. You then grab the glass that you placed there in preparation for the definite hangover. The glass was a little cold to the touch but you filled it with some cool water from the sinks tap.

You took two, just so you could have a longer sleep. You waddle back into your bedroom and just as you get comfy, you widen your eyes at the memory. You needed to see your mother today, she said she had a gift for you but she would only be at home until 11. You looked at the machine that you hated for the time. It was currently 10:05. You jumped to your feet and rush to get ready.

As you walked outside, you saw the regular red strings that you saw everyday. Why do you see strings? You honestly didn't know, but you knew their purpose, it helped match 2 soulmates together. But something seemed a little off, there was no one on the street anymore, so why could you still see one line of destiny? You decided to follow the string south, down to your own (s/c) hand which was now slightly shaking at the sight.

"Fuck. Fuck,fucky fucking fuck. Why now? Why me? What the shit is going on with me?" You curse to yourself. You could feel your breath getting rapid and your head started spinning slightly. You quickly unlocked your car and sat down to help calm you down. You took a few deep breaths and focused on your senses.

When you eventually calmed down, you decided to look at where the string led. Oh, how you shouldn't have looked. It didn't go in any way of a compass, it went straight up and past the clouds. How? You had so many questions but you had to focus on the day ahead.

You had been to your mothers house and collected your new (fave game series) and your card. You were incredibly thankful as you have been saving up to buy it for yourself one day. You had played the previous games and loved every one of them and to say you were excited was an understatement. You almost ran back into your place if it wasn't for needing the key to access the gates.

Living in a gated community helped you feel a lot safer but it did also make you a big target for thieves to practise picking locks. No one had figured out where the hidden camera that kept alerting the authorities was though. Even you have tried put of plain curiosity but you got stumped after the 10th day of searching. You were sure you looked in every possible hiding spot, yet the camera always seemed to evade you in the pointless game of hide and seek.

As you unlocked the gate, you felt a twitch on your finger. The string was moving down and at a very fast pace, almost falling speed. You looked up and saw a small black dot heading towards the ground, if thats your soulmate, they would certainly be dead the second they meet their fate. When you could no longer see the dot, you kept your eyes glued to the string, waiting for it to disappear like everyone else's did when a soulmate died.

After five minutes, the string was still there and was still as red as ever, like no harm had come to them. But thats not possible. No creature could survive that especially from that great a height! You were beyond curious and quickly went into your living room and searched on all your social media for anyone else that may have spotted the dot in the sky, yet no one had but you knew (b/f) had another massive fight with their roommate, Stella, over whose turn it was to do the dishes again.

If you didn't know that Stella was in a relationship with another, you would have sworn those two were in a relationship. You giggled at the silly thought, "if Stella ever goes through a break up with her, I'm totally gonna set those two up."

You give up on finding anything out today, maybe it'll be on the news tomorrow and you set off to go on an online shopping spree, you had a few codes and now, thanks to your wonderful mother, had a little cash to spare and you did see that gorgeous top on sale. Once you had spent the day either shopping or gaming you decided to head to bed but you couldn't stop thinking about that dot and what the red string meant for you.

When your alarm had went off, you hit it and got dressed for your new job at some hot shot posh hotel run by an aspiring American with High expectations and little experience with Sheffield. You had been told you wouldn't get to meet him much and you were beyond fine with that, you hated Americans, simply because you hated violence and guns were the big no on your weaponry list of avoidance. You didn't mind weapons in video games, those were harmless to the outside world. You didn't mind verbal violence though, it was all you had to defend yourself with and in Sheffield, that was better than nothing. You were very short tempered when it came to your anger but you found that it was either verbal or physical, you chose to be verbal.

You looked at your phone for any messages from (b/f) and had a good luck message. You replied with a smiley face and a "ill need all the luck I can get. I've heard from a few employees that he can be a real asshole for no reason and fires people just because they made eye contact for too long. It's like he suspects someone is out for his blood."

After 2 minutes you received a reply from from them. "You better be on your best behaviour then, young lady!"

"That's the problem. I wonder what the record is for the quickest a person has got fired? Because I may break that, you know me! I don't exactly do as I'm told, that's why finding a job has been so hard. Anyway, I best get ready, gotta look the part! First impressions and all!" You replied with a nervous face. What you failed to notice was the red string no longer pointing towards the sky and you were making it shorter with every step you took. You did give up on finding out about the strange dot and came to the assumption that it fell in a lake, there were plenty of them around.

You walked into the swanky looking hotel and noticed the cobwebs that definitely were not there two days ago when you had your interview, yet they looked like they had been there for weeks. You would have put it down to Halloween decorations if it wasn't for the fact that it was June. You decided to not ask in case this was some sort of strange new American trend that your boss was following to help bring in the youth. It does help make it fit into Sheffield a lot more with the run down and abandoned look. It would need some rust, water damage, mold and cracks to finish the look but it was a start. If you had to be honest, the spider webs helped bring the place together. It was way too posh for Sheffield but you had to lie and say you love it in order to get hired. Just from that lie alone you knew exactly the personality of your boss, arrogant, vain and ignorant.

"Hello, you must be my new helper! I'm Najia, your second in command here. As you can see, there are loads of spider webs so they should be priority. If you could start cleaning in the south west second floor and continue that floor, that would be amazing. Now here's your cleaning trolley and if you happen to finish the floor early, send me a little message through the walkie talkie and I'll give you another room or floor. Do you have any questions?" Najia spoke softly. She seemed lovely and it was shame that she had to be in a place that would get more damage than its worth.

"Just one question: why so many spider webs?"

"I don't know, they just seemed to have appeared, I thought it was silly string from some teenagers that managed to break in somehow but it is actual spider web. It wasn't here when I left last night. I guess I'll have to ask someone about that."

And with that you separated and got to your floor when you finally noticed a slight burning sensation on your finger, it wasn't hurtful. It was like putting the finger in a really hot bath. You looked down and noticed it now pointed downhill and seemed to be glowing a shade of gold ever so gently that you would miss it if the weird sensation didn't make you look.

You left your trolley outside a toilet to make it seem like you were in there when really you had wondered off to follow the string. You would probably lose yourself in the maze of hallways that all looked the same as the last if the string didn't help lead you to a ballroom. You opened the door and instantly screamed. A giant spider was walking towards you, however you couldn't get out, you had used a staff door which needed a key card to use from this side as the other side still needed to be fitted and you left yours in the trolley, near the toilets. And the massive spider seemed to be blocking the other way out so you were trapped.

You weren't scared of spiders but seeing them at the size of a van did intimidate you. You started shaking from fear of what it would do to you. Out of pure instinct, you put your hand out to protect yourself and the sound of 8 legs against wooden flooring had ceased. The only sound was your laboured breathing. It stayed like this for what seemed like hours but in actuality was only 5 minutes. You opened your eyes slowly to see 8 more stare right back. 8 eyes that showed fear but no intention of harm. Instead the spider gave you space to breathe by walking back a few feet. Then it seemed to be watching you, studying your next move to see if you were a threat and whether or not it should kill you.

You stayed still for a moment, wrapping your head around what had just happened before gently walking towards the creature with both hands forward to show them clean of weapons. You decided to try and speak to the spider to see if it can understand you.

"Hello. I'm new around here, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing on your area, I wasn't aware of you being here to be honest. I mean you no harm, if anything, I want to help you but unfortunately, I'm stuck in here aswell." You spoke carefully as if it was a child that was afraid. You gently put your hand in its head and it seemed to understand your good intentions and your situation as it let you pet it. Now you were close, you started to admire it and realised it wasn't poisonous or venomous, it was just a regular house spider. But you couldn't figure out how or why it got this big but it did explain the cobwebs everywhere.

You had been with the spider for hours and it seemed like Najia either didn't care or has gotten fired as she hasn't asked about you. You had spent the time talking or singing to the spider. She, as you found out after looking it up, seemed to put her body around you to protect you. You had even met a couple of her children as they gave you food from the cafeteria to nibble on when your stomach growled.

Eventually the burning on your fingers turned up massively and was causing you pain. The spider seemed to sense this and wrapped her web around your finger to help cool it down a little. It didn't help but you showed gratitude anyway as she was only trying to help in anyway she could. You gave her a small smile and her eyes seemed to show sympathy in return.

Then the doors opened again and the sound of several feet walked in. "Oh thank god. I thought I was never going to be found in here." You thought to yourself as you heard the voices mumble to each other and probably about Betty and what's the best way to get rid of her. You would have paid more attention if your finger didn't feel like it had caught fire and was tight as if your soulmate was amongst those that had walked in.

Now you were nervous. How would you introduce yourself? What did they look like? Were they male or female, not that you really cared? So many questions made you feel lightheaded so you grabbed onto Betty to keep yourself planted.

Then the door opened again and a familiar voice echoed in the hall and you knew exactly how he'd want to deal with Betty and after your bond today, you would rather die than her. She was obviously innocent here and maybe the others could see it. Then you heard the familiar click of a gun safety being taken off and your body reacted before your mind did and you jumped in front of her to stop him, although you had a feeling it wouldn't, but it was worth a shot for the others to stop him.

"Don't you fucking dare shoot that gun Dickhead! Not without going through me!" You spoke with fire in your eyes and maybe a slight mix if fear aswell. That's when you looked over at the new group of people. They all seemed trustworthy enough.

There was Najia, who welcomed you here earlier and she looked sad, so she had definitely been fired. Then there was another woman who looked a lot like her, you guessed she was a daughter or something and she was pretty and definitely somone with authority with the way she stood and held herself, maybe she is a police officer? A man who looked as though he was in his 50s and definitely did not belong in this weird group. A young man who looked of a similar age to the police woman, maybe they are friends.

Then you laid your eyes on one of the most beautiful woman, no, human, you had ever seen and would probably never see again. She had short blonde hair in a bob. They seemed to be brunette at the root. She had beautiful chocolate honey eyes that glimmers with so much emotion and age well beyond her years, like she had experienced thousands of years before this moment. You also noticed her odd sense of style but you admired her boldness and it did look amazing on her. You decided she could only be described as sunshine and rainbows.

Then you noticed her hand And a familiar red string that was also glowing a beautiful subtle gold. Like millions of tiny golden stars circled around the string in a beautiful dance of love. Your eyes started to follow the string down and back to your own. She was your soulmate. That goddess that stood before you, was to be yours forever some day.

Then you looked into her hypnotic eyes before you remembered where you were and what situation you were in. And you realised everyone was staring at you for your previous action towards a spider.

"If you want to keep your job, I'd suggest you move out of the way silly girl!" Your boss grumbled in a threatening tone.

"Nope. You are about to hurt an innocent creature that is stuck and terrified. You built on top of landfill and didn't bother to check and thought of no consequences. This is your fault. Is this how you would treat a child that was a mistake after a one night stand or something? Would you shoot a child that had no choice?" You spoke with confidence yet more nerves now she was there listening to every word. When he didn't answer you shouted "Answer me! Would you shoot your mistake of a child?"

He glared at you. "This is different. This is an animal. A pest. It needs to be killed so more can't be born! I made my mistake and now I'm fixing it!" He bellowed just seconds before a shot was made from his gun. You had expected pain but instead you heard a horrible shriek from behind you.

You quickly turned around and petted her whilst whispering sweet words as she took her last breath. You stood up and made your way over to the murderer. You couldn't stand him and you were so tempted to take his gun and shoot him with it, but you didn't. With fire in your eyes and pure hatred, you slapped him hard enough to leave a mark and maybe a bruise as a reminder of his shitty choices. "You can't fire me because I fucking quit you arrogant dick! She had caused no harm to you or I and I'm sure if you would have sorted it sooner, so many more lives could have been saved as she only had humans because flies didn't fill her anymore! She was so kind and just so afraid. I hope you lose everything you pathetic sad sack of boiled shit! You are truest one of the lowest excuses for a human I have ever met and if we meet again please be very afraid, because next time, it won't just be a slap you have to worry about! It'll be your balls as I cut them off beacuse men like you shouldn't repopulate the planet! You horrid scum! I hope your empire fucking collapses!" You spoke with venom lacing every word. You were seething and boy did his face look punchable. Instead you walked away with your middle finger proudly being the last thing he sees as you walk out the normal doors.

Once you were outside, you sat in the steps and finally let out all the emotions. You cried so hard, over your loss of yet another job and a newly found friend. You screamed at him with a string of curses that would offend just about anybody. You suddenly felt somone sit at the side of you. You knew who it was when the string was burning more than ever before and yet you couldn't feel it over the pain your heart.

"You did brilliant back there. You chose, not just your job, but your life over a creature you barely even knew! If you wouldn't have jumped in when you did, I don't think her children would've had a chance to escape to my TARDIS because he's going on a hunt right now for the rest of them. Sure, you didn't save her but you saved so many more lives than you think. And I know each one is eternally grateful for what you did. I know I would be." Her words were certain and sympathetic. They seemed to calm you down instantly. Or maybe is was the way she talked that helped with her soft but strong voice and you knew you already couldn't get enough like it was the best drug ever. You could listen to her all day and yet, she had said very little to you. It was a strange effect but you liked it.

She fell into a silence for a while just keeping you company as you came to terms with had happened.

[plaidbooks]

Everyone Deserves Love chapter 15 (Finale)

A/N: This is it! This is the finale (besides another bonus chapter that has nothing to contribute to the story)! First off, I want to thank everyone who has read this story! It’s still one of my favorite stories, and I read it often. Second, I may add a bonus chapter, depending on s22, who knows?

The beginning of this starts off before the last bonus chapter, but will move past it. It starts off as Devon first gets home from the hospital.

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Tags: smut, p in v sex

Words: 3569

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @evee87 @dianilaws

The first weeks weren’t bad, especially because Barba had taken time off work. At first, he had forced Devon to stay either in bed or on the sofa while he took care of her; making food, refilling her water, making sure she took her meds. But Devon couldn’t live like that; she needed to get up and move around. So, Barba stopped complaining when Devon came into the kitchen to watch him cook, kissing his cheek as he moved around the stove. Nor did he complain when she continued her morning routine of making coffee, somehow figuring out how to work the French press with one hand, something Barba had previously thought impossible. But the real test of this arrangement was the first day he went back to work.

“I could always take another day,” he had said, concern in his bright eyes.

Devon smirked at him. “Babe, I love you so much, but please, for my sanity, go to work.” She gave him a quick kiss and he left, promising to call when he wasn’t in court, just to check in.

This is where it started getting rocky for Devon. She was going crazy with boredom being stuck at home. Even after the sling was taken off and physical therapy started, Jenkins wasn’t allowing her to come back to work, not yet. And any time she showed up at SVU, Olivia turned her right around, making one of the detectives drive her back home. So, she was stuck in her home-turned-prison, trying to think of something, anything, to do. She thought about taking some sort of class—cooking, sewing, cake decorating—but she was afraid that she couldn’t do any of those things with one arm, and her left was still all but useless. She couldn’t even hold her phone to her ear.

“I hate feeling so useless,” she said to Barba one night over dinner.

He looked at her, swallowing his food. “You’re not useless, Cariño. You’re healing; it takes time.”

“Too much time, if you ask me; I’m going nuts here, Rafi. Jenkins won’t allow me to do anything, Liv sends me home like a child. I…I don’t know what to do.” She hated that tears were in her eyes. Maybe Liv was right, maybe she was a child.

Barba took her hand in his, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “I know you hate this, mi amor. It’s only for a little while longer; the therapist said that you should be getting use of your muscles back in the next coming weeks.”

“And until then?”

He lifted her hand gently, the light glinting off the plain silver band on her ring finger, catching her eye. She smiled at the engagement ring; she did every time see looked at it, remembering Barba’s face as he knelt in the hospital room by her bed.

“Until then, you’re just going to do your best, working hard to get your arm back to its pervious strength. I know it’s frustrating, Cariño, but you’re going to survive this. You’re going to be stronger than ever, because you’re Devon fucking Motely, and I’ve never met anyone stronger than you.” He kissed the back of her hand, then put it back on the table.

Her heart strained. “How the hell did I get so lucky to have found you in that shitty cop bar?”

“I ask myself the same thing about you every day,” Barba replied, eyes flashing.

Devon smiled at him. She still hadn’t told him that she was planning on retiring from the FBI; hell, she hadn’t planned on how to do it yet, either. And judging by the fact that she couldn’t find anything else to do in her copious free time, she wasn’t sure if she even could retire. If she could bring herself to leave. What if I just step down, do office work? She thought for the hundredth time. Transfer to computer crimes or something? But could she really see herself doing that? Sitting at some desk while others went out and took down the bad guys? She didn’t think so.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Barba’s voice broke through her rapid thinking.

Devon glanced at him, his brow furrowing as he tried to read her expression, and she sighed. She didn’t want to bring it up, not until she had a plan. But she couldn’t lie to him, either.

“I was…I was thinking of leaving the Bureau,” she mumbled, unable to make eye contact. They sat in silence for a moment, Barba not quite sure he had heard her correctly.

“Where’s this coming from?” he finally asked, then he almost whispered, “because of the shooting?”

Devon looked at him then, his eyes conveying such sadness; she knew that he’d support her decision, no matter what. But he also knew that she loved her job. And she knew that he still blamed himself for her injury, no matter how many times she told him that it wasn’t his fault.

“No, well, yes? Kind of?” she shook her head, trying to find the words. “It’s because you deserve having a wife here, waiting for you when you get home from work. Not undercover in some warehouse, trying not to die. Or lying in a hospital bed, a bullet in me.”

Barba seemed to soak in her words, letting himself absorb them. “When I proposed to you, it wasn’t to get you to quit your job, Dev. I understood then, as I do now, who you are, what you do. If I couldn’t handle that, then we wouldn’t be here.”

Devon reached across the table, hand cupping his cheek, forcing him to look into her eyes as she said, “this is my choice, Rafi. I know you can handle it. The thing is, I can’t.” They sat like that for a long moment before Barba slowly turned his face into her palm, kissing her skin lightly.

“If that’s how you really feel, then I’ll back you, one hundred percent,” he breathed.

She gave him a small smile. “I know you will. I just…I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do yet, how I’m going to do it.”

Barba reached up, taking her hand from his face and interlacing their fingers. “I seem to remember you being a fairly decent mentor when you were showing me self-defense in the living room.”

Devon’s eyes lit up as she remembered; of course! How could I have forgotten that? “Do you think there’s a market for that? Teaching self-defense?”

“Are you kidding? Set up next to the women’s shelter, and you’ll be busier there than when you were undercover.”

She chuckled, but there was fire in her now, a purpose. She still had to heal from her gunshot wound, but now she could study how to teach, work towards getting certified.

“I love you, you know that?” she grinned at him.

Barba’s eyes flashed as he smirked. “I do know, but I love hearing you say it.”

FBI Headquarters

Friday, April 20th. 8:30am

Devon took a deep breath as she got off the elevator, the short hallway to her boss’s office familiar, yet somehow menacing. She knew it was because of why she was there, that the hallway itself wasn’t different in any way. She swallowed her fear down and made her way to the door.

“Come in,” Jenkins’ voice called as she neared. Steeling herself, she entered, shutting the door softly behind her. Jenkins was at his desk, his usual spot when he was in. He didn’t even glance up as she walked up to his desk, standing expectantly rather than taking her normal seat across from him. “Motely?” he asked, still looking at whatever paperwork he was focused on.

“Sir, I’m…I’m here to put in my retirement,” Devon said in the most confident voice she could muster. No point beating around the bush. Besides, if she didn’t say it right now, she was afraid that she never would.

That made Jenkins pause. He put his pen down gently, raising his eyes to look at the agent standing before him. A fresh wave of nervousness washed over Devon as his grey eyes bore into hers. He glanced down for a moment, eyes catching the silver band on her finger before flicking back to her face. He let out a breath.

“I knew that this day would come soon enough,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. He stood then, coming to his full height. Jenkins wasn’t a huge man, but his presence alone made him seem much more than he was. He came around the desk, standing right in front of Devon. A rare smile broke across his face. “Congratulations on the engagement, Motely,” he said, placing a warm hand on her uninjured shoulder, giving her a loving squeeze.

Devon smiled back but was still a little anxious. “So, you’re not mad?”

The smile was gone instantly. “Mad? Of course, not; I knew that you’d be retiring once you got close to that ADA. If the shooting didn’t do it, then I figured a wedding would.”

Now Devon smiled freely. Jenkins always seemed to know more than he let on. “Well, if that’s the case, could you do me one more favor?”

Apartment of Rafael Barba and Devon Motely

Saturday June 2nd. 10:00am

“Deep breaths, Devon. You’ve got this. You’ve been through much more stressful things than this,” Olivia said, coaching her. Devon struggled to regulate her breathing, trying not to have a full-blown anxiety attack.

“But—but what if I fuck this up? What if I blow this whole thing? Lives are at stake—"

“You’re going to do fine, Dev. I know you are; I’ll be right there with you if you need me,” the Lieutenant promised.

Devon took a few shuddering breaths, trying to compose herself. She looked at herself in the mirror again, eyes roaming over herself. White dress, short train, veil flipped over her long, brown curls. Her and Barba had chosen their wedding day months in advance, had meticulously planned it, and yet Devon still felt unprepared.

“He’s going to lose it when he sees you,” Liv whispered, making eye contact with Devon in the mirror. Olivia was her maid-of-honor, shocking no one. Devon wanted a simple wedding, nothing too fancy. Barba, being the old-fashioned romantic that he was, wanted to go above and beyond. But even more than that, he wanted to please his fiancée, so he let her call the shots. Well, most of them. They were still having a Catholic wedding—mostly for Mama Barba’s sake—and Devon agreed to get a wedding dress, but only if it was less than $5k. They were only allowing family and close friends to attend, and Jenkins, to his credit, had agreed to be the one to give Devon away, since she didn’t have a father.

“Do you think so?” Devon smiled, but it faltered. “Oh god, why are we doing this? Why not just go to City Hall and sign a paper? Why this whole spectacle? Oh god—”

“Devon,” Olivia grabbed her by the shoulders, turning the ex-agent to look at her. “You are going to walk down that aisle, you are going to stand next to your fiancé, and you are going to exchange vows until the priest pronounces you husband and wife, okay? Just—just think about how Rafael is probably feeling right now. I bet you $20 he’s also nervous. And I’ll bet you another $20 that he cries when he sees you.”

Devon smiled at the thought, butterflies in her stomach. “Do—do you really think he’ll cry?”

Apartment of Rafael and Devon Barba

Saturday, June 2nd. 8:49pm

Devon had to remember to give Olivia $40 the next time she saw her…sometime in a month, after Devon and her husband got back from their honeymoon in Europe, which they would leave for on Monday. But right now, all Devon could think of was her husband’s hands on her hips, pinning her to the wall just inside their shared loft, his lips on her neck, sucking on the spot that he knew she loved, moans leaving her mouth, her hands running through his short hair.

“Mmm, Rafi. Slow down, baby; we have all night to consummate our love,” she ground out.

Barba kissed his way up her neck to her ear. “Whatever my wife wants,” he growled, voice husky. A thrill went through Devon when he called her ‘wife;’ she loved the title. He pulled back, locking eyes with her for a moment, the amount of love and affection held in that stare knocking the wind from her, before his lips crashed against hers. Devon wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer to her, her hands finding his shirt collar, unwillingly to let him go until she had to pull away, gasping for breath.

“Husband…my husband…” she panted, voice low. Barba smiled down at her, chest rising and falling rapidly from his own labored breathing, before his mouth restarted the vicious attack on her neck, biting and sucking a deep bruise into her flesh.

“Mine,” he muttered against her skin before moving to the other side and making a new mark. Devon moaned, rutting her hips as best she could, trying to get some sort of friction. She could feel him hardening against her. He drove his hips upwards, grinding himself directly against her core, and she whimpered in his ear, half begging him to touch her.

Barba chuckled. “I thought you wanted to go slow, mi amor?” Even so, he repeated the motion, harder this time. Devon let out a wanton moan, rutting her hips back against him.

“We can go slow in round two. Right now, I just want you—need you,” she pleaded. To make her point, she dragged her nails down his back, just the way she knew drove him crazy. She grinned when she felt his cock twitch against her thigh, a growl deep in his throat.

“Whatever my wife wants,” he repeated. He took her off the wall, carrying her towards the bedroom. But they only made it a few steps before Devon kissed him a little too roughly, tipping Barba off balance. He stepped backwards, trying to catch himself, but the back of his knees hit the loveseat, and he fell onto the cushions, Devon squealing as she fell on top of him. Once they realized where they were, they laughed softly.

Devon’s eyes flashed as she remembered their first night together, murmuring, “can I kiss you?”

Barba chuckled. “Only if I can kiss you back.” Devon smiled sweetly at him before leaning down and kissing him gently. Their soft kiss soon deepened, Barba’s hand on the back of Devon’s head, tilting her so that he had better access to her mouth. Devon readjusted so that she was straddling his hips, grinding herself against him. Barba pulled back, groaning loudly, and Devon took this chance to unbutton his tuxedo shirt, trying to figure out how the hell the cummerbund worked—

“Careful, mi amor. This is a rental,” he said. Huffing, Devon got off him, standing next to the couch. Barba quickly shed his tux, carefully chucking it into a pile on the floor, before sitting back on the couch in nothing but his boxers, bulge straining against the fabric.

Devon reached behind her to start unzipping her wedding dress when Barba put up a hand. “Hold on, Cariño,” he licked his lips, “I want to touch you while you’re in your dress.”

She felt the heat pooling in her core at his words. She walked up in between his legs, and his hands went to her thighs, pushing up the hem of her dress as they travelled to her hips, pulling her down onto his lap, bulge hitting her barely clothed core. She moaned, eyes fluttering as he grinded into her, lips ghosting over her pulse point on her neck. He moved one of his hands from her hips to her panties, shifting the fabric to the side and stroking one finger through her slit.

“God, you’re fucking soaked,” he growled against her skin, nipping at her neck. His finger circled her clit once, twice, before he moved to her tight entrance, pushing in slowly.

“Holy fuck, Rafi,” Devon whined, head falling backwards in pleasure. He curled his finger slowly, taking his time, watching her reaction to his touch. Nothing turned him on more than having this incredibly strong woman completely crumble from his touch. Slowly, he pushed in another finger, then a third, thrusting at a slow pace, reveling in the feeling of her walls clenching around him. Devon moaned every time he hit her g-spot, fingers digging into his shoulders, trying to stay balanced on his lap. When his thumb moved to circle her clit, adding pressure to the swollen nub, Devon almost blacked out with how hard she came, rutting her hips against his hand, head falling forward, forehead resting against his.

“You’re so god damn beautiful when you come,” he murmured, finger fucking her through her orgasm, her legs trembling in his lap. He pulled his fingers from her, and she slid sideways out of his lap, collapsing onto the couch next to him. Barba stood, pushing his boxers to the ground, letting Devon catch her breath. He knelt in front of her, sticking his head under her dress, grabbing her panties with his teeth, and pulling them down and off her; a lewd mockery of how he took the garter off her during the reception. He sat back on the couch, taking her hand in his, guiding her back into his lap. Devon, using her free hand, stroked his throbbing cock, her thumb spreading his pre-cum along his shaft. He groaned, letting her tease him a little before he stopped her, afraid that he’d cum too early if she continued. Understanding, she guided him to her entrance, tip teasing her open.

“Ready?” he asked.

“For you? Always,” she replied, kissing him deeply. He placed his hands on her hips, slowly pulling her down onto him until he was fully inside her, swallowing every sound coming out of her mouth with his own. They sat like that for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being so completely connected, tongues dancing with each other, drinking each other in. Then, Devon raised up off him until he was barely in her, then she sunk back down slowly. They found their rhythm quickly, moving in tandem, both of them pulling back so that they could lean their foreheads against each other, sharing their labored breaths. Eventually, Barba reached behind her, unzipping her dress just enough that the top fell free. He chuckled darkly when he saw that Devon was wearing a front clasping bra. She gave him a wink, eyes flashing, wicked smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“You know me too well, mi amor,” he murmured, undoing the clasp.

It was Devon’s turn to chuckle. “Good thing you married me then—ohhh,” she moaned as Barba’s mouth latched onto a nipple, nipping and sucking. He increased the pace of his thrusts, angling his hips to hit deeper, while he used the hand on her hip to bring her down harder against him. Using his free hand, he reached between them, rubbing roughly at her clit.

Devon screamed Barba’s name as she came, nails digging into his shoulders, leaving marks. Barba flipped them so that Devon was laying on her back across the couch, Barba on top of her. He pounded into her relentlessly, chasing his own release.

“Cum for me, baby…my husband,” Devon muttered, throat raw from her previous yell. That was all Barba needed; he rocked into her a couple more times before he was spilling deep inside her, her clenching walls milking him for everything he had. He collapsed on top of her, still connected but unwilling to pull himself from her…his wife.

The loft fell silent apart from their labored breathing. Devon’s hands went to the nape of his neck, stroking the soft hairs there, his head resting by her collarbone. Once Barba had caught his breath, he started singing softly, an old love song his abuelita taught him when he was a child, the Spanish falling from his lips easily. Devon’s heart strained; she may not understand all the words, but she could hear the feeling, the raw emotion in his voice. She ran her hand through more of his soft hair, nails scraping his scalp lightly. Once he finished the song, he raised up, kissing her gently before laying back on her chest.

“I love you so damn much…Mrs. Barba…” he murmured against her skin, placing soft kisses on her collarbone.

She hummed in satisfaction. “I love you so damn much, my husband…I will never get tired of saying that.”

“And I will never get tired of hearing it,” he promised. Finally, he pushed off her, standing next to the couch, offering her a hand. “Shall we adjourn to the bedroom? I seem to remember someone mentioning something about a round two….”

Devon shook her head in mock disbelief, taking his hand. He pulled her up, and she allowed her dress to fall off once she was up, shrugging out of her bra. “Fucking sinful, I swear.” Barba chuckled as he pulled her to their shared room.

[harley-sunday]

The Draw (14)

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end…

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: Language. 

Word count: 3.5k

AN: Slowly, very slowly, I’m getting back into this one. It deserves to be finished, but I don’t want to rush to a happy ending, you know? Anyway, here’s the latest installment in this crazy ride, hope you enjoy! This one’s for @aarontveitfic​ ♥

Masterlist

Something beeps somewhere and you let out a quiet groan before you decide to just ignore it, because well, you were cuddling up to Sebastian in a blissful state of half consciousness and you don’t want to have to wake up and realize you only have another day left before he has to leave again. But then you hear Sebastian mutter something about your phone going off and so you blindly reach for it, accidentally knocking off your book from the bedside table first. The notification on your lock screen lets you know you’ve got a new message from your brother, the first few words on their own not really making any sense. It isn’t until you tap on the notification to open it that you see the picture he’s attached and suddenly you’re wide awake, muttering quiet, “Fuck,” as you sit up. 

“What?” Sebastian asks from somewhere beside you, his voice still laced with sleep.

“Ugh. I hate him,” you look at the selfie again, channeling all your anger towards your brother, hoping some of it will make its way to him through your phone.

Sebastian must sense something’s going on, because he sits up as well, his lips ghosting over your cheek, “Morning.”

You shake him off and he starts to protest, but then you show him what your brother’s just sent you and see his eyes grow wider with every word he reads:

Guess who we just dropped off at the airport? They thought we should let you know in advance, but I told them not to ruin a good surprise ;) So anyway, can you pick up Mom and Dad? 2PM, flight number AA376. Good luck! xx

“Ok,” Sebastian says, running a hand through his hair, “ok. This isn’t that bad, right?”

You just throw him a glare you hope conveys how much you hate surprises like this and hit ‘call’ on your phone.

And of course your brother picks up on the first ring, “Hey, loser.” 

“I hate you.”

He just chuckles, “Good morning to you too.” 

You get out of bed, miming to Sebastian that this will only take a minute, before you walk to the kitchen, “What were you thinking, Nathan?”

“Oh shit,” your brother whispers and you think you hear Jake giggle in the background, “Tante is using my full name. We’re in trouble, bud.”

“Take me off speaker, will you?” You pinch the bridge of your nose as you lean against the counter. 

“I’m driving,” your brother counters, but you think you hear him tell Jake to put his earbuds in and listen to some music, before he returns to you, “The kid’s otherwise engaged. Go ahead. Hurl your verbal abuse at me.”

“I’m not- A little heads up would be nice, that’s all.” 

“What are you not telling me? Are you not in San Francisco?” He chuckles then, “Did I just ship off the parents on their own?”

“Nate. Of course I am in San Francisco,” you bite back.

“So then, what’s the problem?”

“The problem,” you let out a sigh then. “The problem is that Sebastian’s here and I haven’t told Mom and Dad about him yet.” 

Your brother starts laughing so hard then, that after a “We will talk about this later, Nathan.” which you know will fall on deaf ears, you hang up without warning. You tap the phone against your chin, unsure where to go from here. There’s still four hours left before they land, and so you think that maybe you’ll be able to pull something off, but then you turn around and see Sebastian standing there and your heart drops.

His arms are crossed in front of his chest, the fabric of his shirt stretching across his biceps and if he didn’t look so upset right now it would be such a turn on. Instead there’s something dark that has settled over his face when he asks, “You haven’t told your parents about us yet?”

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t know if there’s anything that could make this better and so you just shake your head.

He doesn’t respond, just stares at you before he turns around and walks back to the bedroom.

“Sebastian,” you push yourself off the counter and go after him, finding him sitting on the bed, staring straight ahead. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this upset. He doesn’t look up at you when you enter and so you sit down next to him, your arms brushing against his. You clear your throat, looking at the floor, “I’m sorry.”

He just nods.

“My parents, they are uh-” you hesitate, because you don’t want this to sound like an excuse, even though it’s definitely part of the cause. “Ok, so you know Monica and Ross’ parents, right?”

He looks up at you then, confused, even though you are sure he knows you’re talking about Friends.

Still, you take this as your cue to continue, “They’re a bit like them. Not that they’re bad people, or mean, but they’re just a little ditzy, if that makes sense.” You shrug, “I mean, I didn’t tell them I was going to help out at our office here until after I got here, otherwise they’d just- I don’t know. They’d just worry about everything.” You turn to him, “Nate and I decided a long time ago that sometimes it’s better to just not tell them something until after the fact.” 

“I know, I know,” you quickly say when he starts to protest, hands up in defense, “I should have told them about us- About you sooner, but I- I don’t know. I’m afraid they won’t understand.”

“Bullshit.”

It comes out barely above a whisper and so you’re not sure you’ve heard him right, but then he stands up and looks at you.

“It’s bullshit,” he says again with an angry shrug. “Clearly there’s something else going on. And why would you drag your parents like that?” 

“What?” You almost do a double take, because did he really just say that? You get up as well, so you can at least face him on the same level, “I didn’t drag my parents. I could entertain you for days with the shit Nate and I have kept from them.”

“Yeah?” he asks defiantly. “Does that include any of your other ex-boyfriends?” 

It doesn’t register. Not right away anyway, because you’re too busy trying to remember at what point you first introduced Mark to your parents. It couldn’t have been more than three weeks, maybe a month after you started dating. Which was way too soon and which you regret till this day. It would have been so much better for everyone if you’d just waited a little longer. 

Still, technically you guess Sebastian and you have been dating since the end of April, when he took you on that boat trip, but you’ve always considered your rendez-vous in Charlotte, right before he left for the press tour, as the moment you got together. That wasn’t that long ago, right? But then you start to count and realize it’s been almost seven weeks, so maybe he does have a point and you’re about to tell him you and your commitment issues are the real reason why you haven’t told you parents about him yet when finally his words hit you. You look up at him, “What did you just say?” 

“I asked if that includes any of your ex-boyfriends.” He doesn’t look at you, instead needs all his attention to look for his jeans. 

“No, no, no, that’s not what you said,” because you remember now. You cross your arms in front of your chest, “You said, does that include any of your other ex-boyfriends.” 

He finds his jeans, sighs, and looks up at you, “Fine,” but doesn’t say anything else.

“Come on, use your words, Sebastian” you mock, because really? You don’t want to fight, because this seems like such a non-issue to you even though, sure, this isn’t how you planned on introducing Sebastian to your parents, but you know, why not? At least it would spare you an awkward dinner at some point. Mostly you’re just mad at your brother for springing this on you without warning even though you know that’s not entirely fair. But, apparently Sebastian has taken great offense and wants to see this through. Fine, you think, might as well find out now if we can work through this or not, “So we’re done, or?”

“I don’t know,” his jeans are on now, and he’s picked up his duffel bag, putting the rest of his clothes inside like he’s getting ready to leave. “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t have told them.”

“You are making this a much bigger deal than it-”

“I called my mom right after I dropped you off at LAX,” he zips his bag closed and when he looks up at you he looks hurt, “and told her I met this great girl who swept me off my feet and who I thought might be the one but who felt like she was slipping away. She was the one who encouraged me to go after you and I promised her I’d take you to go see her as soon as we’d had a chance.” He shrugs, his face now blank, “Guess now I get to call her to tell her it didn’t work out anyway.”

You’re a bit taken aback by his willingness to just give up on your relationship and so it takes for him to put his shoes on and grab his duffel bag that you realize he’s actually walking out on you. You follow him to the living room, “Really, Seb? This is it? We’re not even going to talk about this?”

He turns around, “Unless you can give me a good reason not to,” 

“I just told you!” Your voice is a little-high pitched, but fuck it, “I swear, if you meet my parents you would understand.” 

He scoffs, “Yeah, I can see that going well after all of this.” He takes a step towards you and kisses your cheek, a sad, “I’ll be seeing you,” escaping him.

You want to tell him to stay, want to work through this, but nothing comes out and so all you can do is watch him leave.

Your parents, bless them, believe you when you tell them you’re not feeling too well and think you might be coming down with something even though it’s mid-June. Your father offers to drive back from the airport and so you end up in the passenger’s seat, giving him directions back to your apartment, your mother admiring the surroundings from the back seat.

You tell them to make themselves at home, thankful there’s a spare bedroom for them, and that you’ll just go to bed for a couple of hours, trying to sleep off whatever it is they think you have. You apologize for not being able to show them around town, but your Mom tells you not to be silly, that they’re here until Thursday and that there’s time. 

Surprisingly you fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow, exhausted from this morning’s strange turn of events. When you wake up some time in the late afternoon, you find your parents on your balcony, each with a glass of wine and sharing one of your mother’s famous cheese platters. A smile plays on your lips when you open the fridge and see it’s well stocked, because of course your parents have gone grocery shopping. It’s then you see a stack of freshly folded towels on the dining table and so you walk to the balcony and thank them for what they’ve done.

“Oh honey,” your mother says, “it’s the least we could do.” 

You lean against the railing, telling them a little more about your job here while one by one you steal the grapes from the plate until your father gently slaps your hand and mutters, “Leave something for the rest of us, will ya?”

“It’s ok,” your mothers throws you a wink, “I know how much you like them so there’s more in the fridge.”

“Listen,” you push yourself off the railing, “why don’t we head outside for a little? Take a little walk around the neighborhood and maybe grab something to eat?” You could do with some fresh air and some time away from your apartment, you realize. 

It isn’t until Wednesday night that you tell them about Sebastian. You’ve taken the day off work and toured the city with your parents, thankful that they already went to Alcatraz on their own on Monday, because it would have been impossible to fit everything into a single day otherwise. You’ve shown them the Golden Gate Bridge, visited Alamo Square, wandered around Chinatown, and ended up at Fisherman’s Wharf where you’re treating them to some of the best seafood in the city at Alioto’s Restaurant. 

They take everything surprisingly well, even though your father reprimands you for not telling them sooner, because they would have liked to meet Sebastian when he was in Charlotte and before all this.

Your mother hits the nail on the head when she tells you, “You think you’re doing what’s best for everybody by keeping things to yourself, not wanting to be a burden to anyone” she holds up her hand when you start to protest. “I mean it, honey. You need to talk more. Not just about the bad, but about the good as well. Don’t keep everything to yourself, it’s not healthy. And I’m not saying you should talk to us-”

“Your mother’s right,” your father chimes in and taps your head, “There’s always been so much going on in here that I’m afraid soon not much more will fit, kiddo.”

“We know you might not want to talk to us, per se-,” your mother puts her hand on yours, “but at least talk to Nathan. You two always were two peas in a pod.”

“Heck,” your father grins, “we knew the moment the two of you were born that we would be in the backseat for the rest of your lives and sort of counted on you two to take care of each other in that regard.”

“Or Lauren,” your mother suggests then. “She always seems to be able to talk some sense into you.”

“Nathan knows,” you offer, plucking at your napkin to keep from crying. You really should have given your parents more credit. You clear your throat, “He doesn’t know about our fight yet, but I’ll call him this weekend.”

“You do that, honey,” your mother says, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “And try to make things right with Sebastian, ok?”

Your first text after you’ve dropped your parents off at the airport on Thursday morning, after promising you’d come to visit them soon, is to Lauren:

911

Her reply comes seconds later

Calling you in five

She just sighs and you can hear the frustration seeping through your phone, “So you haven’t talked to him since?” 

“No,” you admit, merging onto the exit that will take you to the office. 

“Babe,” the accusation in her voice is very obvious and so you keep quiet, waiting for her to tell you you’ve fucked up. She doesn’t disappoint, “You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” you nod, even though she can’t see you. “I know, ok? I just-”

“You need to fix this.” 

You’re about to protest that you can’t, that you’re sure he doesn’t want to see you again, but you know she’s right, so you quietly resign, “Yeah.”

“Call that girl,” Lauren suggests, 

“Who?” 

“You know, who helped us last time you fucked up?”

“Julie?”

“Yeah!” You can hear the excitement in her voice, “I’m sure she’d help you out. Again.” 

“I guess,” you say just as you pull into your parking spot. “Listen, I gotta go, but I’ll keep you updated, ok?”

“You do that,” Lauren replies. “Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.”

Of course Julie helps you, because as she admits, she’s been rooting for you and Sebastian ever since the Infinity War premiere, although you might have told her you just wanted to surprise him. No need for her to know how bad you fucked things up. She tells you where he’s filming in Greece the next six weeks because even though it’s not a Marvel project she knows his schedule. She offers to find out where he staying and promises to send you the address details as soon as possible. You tell her you’ll come visit her once you’re back in San Francisco and take her out for dinner and some drinks as a thank you for all her help.

Julie comes through and sends you the address of the hotel where both cast and crew are staying at only a couple of hours later. Google tells you it’s both about half an hour from the airport and the city and that unfortunately they don’t have any vacancies. You find a hotel a few blocks away and book the room for a week, even though technically you still have to ask Deb for time off. When you call her she lets you go on the condition you’ll keep checking your emails at least once a day. 

And so, after organizing everything in just two days, here you are, ready to board your flight to Athens. You pull your phone from out of your purse and find your brother’s name in your contact list, calling him just like you promised your parents you would.

“Hey,” 

“Nate?” You’re worried, because you can’t even remember the last time he didn’t call you a loser when picking up the phone. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” he sounds surprised you even ask. “I figured you might not want to talk to me.”

“Dude,” you chuckle, “I called you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, ok,” 

“So I guess the parents told you what happened?” You get up, grab your bag and walk to one of the big windows next to the gate, where it isn’t as crowded. 

“They did. I just- I’m sorry.”

“What? No.” You shake your head, “I fucked up, Nate. It’s all on me.”

“Well,” he says and you can just imagine the smug grin on his face, “if you insist.” 

“You’re still an asshole for not telling me earlier though,” you counter with a smile, “but no, this whole thing with Sebastian is on me.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m about to fly to Athens-”

“Jesus Christ,” he scoffs. “Why can’t it ever be normal with you?”

It’s then you hear your row being called for boarding and so you end with an, “Love you, Nate. I’ll call you when I get back, ok?”

“Yeah, you do that.”

You try to figure out a game plan in the taxi that takes you from the airport to your hotel, but in the end you decide to just wing it. Losing a couple of hours of time difference during your flight means it’s already afternoon by the time you make it to your hotel. It’s hot and your clothes stick to you wherever they can and so you decide to grab a shower first. Rummaging through your bags once you’re done you find one of your favorite summer dresses, a mustard and white striped cotton dress that hits just below your knee. Of course you pair it with your trusted white Converse before you head out. 

There’s a line of cabs waiting in front of the hotel and when you tell the driver the address he lets out a low whistle, “Very fancy hotel.” 

“I guess,” you reply, smiling at him through the rear view mirror. The butterflies in your stomach prevent you from any small talk and so you stare out the window instead, admiring the view. It’s only a couple of minutes later when the cab driver pulls up in front of a beautiful white building, the name of the hotel in black letters next to the entrance. You hand him some of the Euro bills you took out of the ATM at the airport and tell him to keep the change.

He frowns when he counts the money, “You want me to wait for you, yes?”

“Oh no,” you’re quick to reassure him. “At least, I hope not.” You also realize you must have given him more than a generous tip if he offers to keep the car running, but it’s fine. You hope he at least gets to keep it and doesn’t have to give it to his boss.

As you get out of the car you take a deep breath, the butterflies still fluttering about, and straighten your shoulders, hoping no one at the front desk will ask you who you are.You walk in with purpose, nodding to one of the receptionists as you pass her and then you’re in the elevator, relieved when you see you don’t need a key card for it to work. You press the button for the fifth floor, remembering the room number Julie gave you, and when the doors open you follow the signs to his room. It’s in the far corner somewhere, last door on your right, and you get an overwhelming sense of déjà-vu when you knock and wait for him to open the door.

When he does, you can see his eyes widen in shock when he takes you in, surely not expecting you here.

“Hi,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can I come in?” 

He throws a look over his shoulder before he looks back at you and shakes his head, “I uh- Now’s not a good time.” 

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[champagne-bucky]

Black Magic

Summary: So you're a little crazy for Bucky Barnes. What’s so wrong with having a little crush?

Warnings: dark!reader X Bucky, dark themes, smut, dub/non con. 

Notes: Wanted to try out some dark! reader in this one shot. Hope you enjoy it my little devils. BTW, currently working on IOU part 6 as we speak!! Enjoy :)

Mrs. James Buchanan Barnes 

Mrs. Bucky Barnes 

Mrs. Barnes 

Bucky’s girl

Bucky’s baby 

Bucky, Bucky, Bucky

That man was on your mind every hour of everyday. It’s no secret that you’ve been pining after the metal armed soldier for a while now. You also weren’t exactly subtle in your attempts to get Bucky to notice you. Whether it was wearing the shortest shorts you could find or the tiniest bra that makes your tits pop, Bucky wasn’t biting your line. 

The team knew about your crush, hell even the man from the hot dog cart on the street knew about it. Everyone knows about your feelings towards Bucky, including Bucky. He thought it was cute at first. How you would doll yourself up a little more around him, he found it quite flattering that even after all he’s done in the past, someone can still manage to love him, but then you started being creepy. 

Soon it was more revealing outfits, wearing makeup around him all the time, you even went as far as wearing your best push-up bra to the gym to get his attention. As much as he liked it, it was getting to be too much, the team even agreed as well. 

“Maybe just tell her you don’t feel the same way?” Sam suggest over drinks at the bar with Bucky and Steve. 

“I can’t do that. It’ll break the poor kid’s heart.” Bucky felt guilty about letting you down easy. He tried having Natasha do it for him, but according to her you became very irrational and began lashing out. Of course you would, you knew Bucky Barnes loved you, he just didn’t realize it yet. 

“Why don’t you take her out on one date, Buck? Just one date and maybe she won’t bother you again?” Steve was trying his best to help his friend. He loved the both of you, but your obsession over Bucky was becoming too much and started affecting your work on the team. 

“I would, but I know she’s just gonna keep begging for more. I really don’t feel the same way about her. I like her, but as a friend. She’s becoming to clingy with me and it’s making me uncomfortable.” Bucky responds to both men. 

“I can have Tony talk to her if you’d like? You know he doesn’t tolerate this kind of behavior, especially borderline stalker-ish behavior.” Steve suggests. 

Okay, so you’ll admit, maybe you followed Bucky around town once, or twice (but who’s counting), and maybe Bucky caught you following him from afar. When he confronted you in front of everyone back at the compound you faked offense and said you were meeting a friend in town. Everyone knew you were lying. 

“It doesn’t matter what we do, she won’t stop. I don’t know maybe I’ll just talk to her. Maybe I’ll let her down easy and if she doesn’t back off I’ll tell Tony.” Bucky says as he takes another long sip of his beer. 

“Okay, but if you’re gonna do anything make sure it’s in a public place just incase you get kidnapped or murdered on site.” Sam quips. 

—

Back at the compound, you were helping Wanda put up decorations for the party Tony was throwing. You wanted to finish fast and shower, you just bought a new dress for tonight and wanted to make sure Bucky got a good look at you before he got drunk. Wanda scoffed as she was lining up bottles of fancy drinks. 

“You’re still on him?” Wanda was one of your best friends in the compound. As much as she loved you she was straight with you and kept telling you to give it up with Bucky. 

“Stop reading my mind Wanda! Listen it’s gonna happen tonight, I know it!” You were excited because you know tonight was going to be the night Bucky would ask you to dance, sweep you off the dance floor, and go back to to your room for some passionate love making, just like you envisioned for months. 

“You know I love you, but you need to move on from Bucky. It’s clear he doesn’t see you the same way. Why don’t we set you up with a new guy at the party tonight? I have a friend from S.H-“ 

“No,” you were quick to shoot her down, “I want Bucky and Bucky wants me.” You have her a cold glad before she shrugged and muttered something under her breath about you being delusional. 

—

Needless to say you looked stunning, no, ravishing. You couldn’t wait for Bucky to see you, you even put in extra effort into your hair and makeup. You were determined to get Bucky to notice you tonight. 

The party was boring, well to Bucky it was. He never understood why Tony liked throwing these things, he guesses it’s to schmooze the bigwigs that he’s friends with. All Bucky wanted to go is go back into his room, maybe watch a porn and jerk off, shower, and sleep, but then you came in. 

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky muttered under his breath. He’s awestruck by you. The dress it short, really short, your hair is done up, and all around you do look stunning. However, Bucky becomes slightly annoyed because he knows it’s all for him, which means you’ll be bugging him a lot tonight. 

“Hey, hey, Buckaroo, looks like your little girlfriend pulled out all her tricks tonight.” Sam approached Bucky with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“Fuck off Wilson. I’m gonna tell her tonight.” Bucky was watching you grab a drink and made your way over to Wanda.

“You know I can always talk to her, tell her to stop obsessing over you.” Natasha came up next to Bucky and was giving you a glare from across the room. You and her weren’t exactly the best of friends. Ever since you lashed out at her and called her a bitch and accusing her and taking Bucky from you, she’s disliked you ever since.

“Thanks Nat, but I can handle this.” You catch him watching you as you make your way to the dance floor and try to seduce him in. “Maybe after a few drinks.” Bucky grabs another drink from the bar.

— 

The party was going well. You were happy you got Bucky’s attention. He was taking in how great you looked. Anytime now he’ll make his way over here and take you back to your room. You saw Natasha sending evil glares your way, but you just ignored her and hung out with Wanda the whole night.

As the night progressed on, Bucky was getting drunker and you were getting antsier. Bucky was trying to work up the courage to talk to you, but he was afraid of breaking your heart. You on the other hand were so desperate that you began to make your way over to him. 

You saw him out on the balcony sharing another drink with Sam. What was that four beers now? You hoped he would sober up quick before the night ended. Right before you pushed the glass door fully open you heard Bucky speaking about you. 

“She’s just so goddamn obsessive over me, it’s becoming annoying.” Bucky groaned and Sam laughed. 

“She’s just got a little crush on you Buck. Why don’t you indulge in her and take her out? Maybe you’ll get lucky. You know what they say, the crazy ones know how to have a good time.” Sam was mocking you. It wasn’t “just a little crush”, you and Bucky were made for each other. 

“Hell no, if I take her out on a date she might kidnapped and force me to have babies with her.” The men laughed. “I wouldn’t put it past her either. Nat was telling me one night she walked passed her room and heard her fucking herself to that press conference I did back in June. What a fucking creep.” Your cheeks were red with embarrassment, tears welling up in your eyes. You turned away and ran back to your room, ignoring the stares the other guests at the party made to you. 

—

It had been a full week since the party and you refused to leave your room. Ever since the party you’ve been afraid to face your coworkers again. A creep, Bucky thought you were a creep. Wanda tried to coax you out of your room, but you were too embarrassed to face anyone. Instead, you had F.R.I.D.A.Y alert you when everyone was asleep, that’s when you would leave your room and eat.  

Currently, you were in the kitchen munching on some leftover chicken from tonight’s dinner. They were probably making fun of you, even Wanda. You wouldn’t put it past her to make fun of your supposedly creepy behavior to the team.  

While you were cleaning up the kitchen you heard the echo of footsteps coming down the hallway. Quickly, you hid near the pantry as you saw Bucky walking in. It took every fiber in your being to not jump out and talk to Bucky. What would you even say? Hey, sorry I’ve been apparently creeping on you, but its not my fault because you look goddamn gorgeous all the time and I’m pretty sure you and I were made for each other. Nah, that wouldn’t work.

Bucky looked around the kitchen looking for a midnight snack. He couldn’t sleep very well tonight. He felt guilty because Wanda told him that you heard what he and Sam were saying about you. He’s been trying to muster up the courage to talk to you, but he’s too humiliated with himself and what he did. Truth be told, he let you obsession go on for far to long. In the past, you’ve been very open towards Bucky about your feelings to him, and he was too chicken to reject you. Part of it was the flattery of something being able to love him and the other part was fear of breaking your poor innocent heart. 

He knows you were in the kitchen at some point. Bucky saw that the counter top had yet to be wiped down with a cleaning spray. He figured you were still in here but left as soon as you heard someone. Everyone knows you’ve been dodging them. They tried to get Wanda to get you out of your room, but you wouldn’t budge.

“Goddamn it there’s never any shit in this fridge.” Bucky exhaled loudly. He was stopping around the kitchen looking for something. 

You knew what it was. Gee, maybe you are a stalker. Every once in a while, Steve would make his famous iced tea, well, it was a second best next to his Ma’s. Bucky went on and on about it when he first moved in. Saying he missed her special ingredients and love that went into the delectable drink. You remember when he first told you the story, back when he didn’t think you were crazy, that was the day you vowed to be the perfect woman for Bucky Barnes. 

Bucky left in a huff, slamming the refrigerator for dramatic effect. When his footsteps faded away, you appeared from you hiding spot and finished cleaning up. Maybe you can try and make you own drink, as a peace offering for Bucky. It was crazy yeah, but you just wanted to put this little dilemma behind you. 

Try and be more normal around the man of your dreams. Make the person who thinks you are bad shit crazy think you are sane. Make everyone think your sane. If everyone believes you mellowed out, then they’ll all like you again. Maybe even Bucky will start to see he’s always liked you. It might take a little “thyme”, but you got just the right ingredients. 

—

“Oof this is some good shit!” Sam exclaimed.

“What are you drinking?” Clint asked as he saw Sam pour a second glass of some liquid.

“Not sure, Wanda said Y/N was practicing a family recipe and decided to leave her prototypes for us.”

“Gee, I hope crazy didn’t put poison in there.” Clint mused as he poured himself a drink.

“Oh please, if she was gonna poison anybody it would be Bucky. She wouldn’t even try and kill him. Just make his body go limp so she could fuck ‘em.” 

“Sam, you’re disgusting.” Steve shook his head and got up for the couch to pour himself a drink. “You’re right, this is good. Bucky come over here and try some.”

Bucky got up from the couch and hesitated to pour himself a glass. “I don’t know guys, what if she did poison it?”

“Would you calm down? She didn’t poison it. If she did, Sam would be dead by now.” Steve rolled his eyes and gave Bucky the drink.

It was good, it tasted a little familiar though. As the drink ran down his throat, he was hit with distinct memories of his Ma. Specifically his Ma making him and his sister the ice cold drinks on a hot summers day after they’ve been goofing around in the unbearably hot Brooklyn heat. Bucky was getting teary eyed while finishing the drink. He missed his Ma and his sister. How did you manage to craft this exact same drink?

“Buck, you okay?” Steve sounded concerned.

“Yeah, its just, it tastes like what my Ma made for Becca and I when we were kids.”

“Whoa, so you’re telling me you couldn’t remember how to make this, but Jeepers Creepers did?” Sam was going for another glass.

What was once a nostalgic moment for Bucky was replaced by stone cold anger. How did you know this recipe? This was a family recipe passed down by generations. Since Bucky had no living family members, it would be impossible for someone to know this recipe, and give you it in the process. Bucky didn’t say another word as he stomped down the hallway to your room. He was infuriated to say the least. Your behavior was becoming out of hand and Bucky was determined to put a stop to it. Today.

—

You waited patiently in your room. It was almost time for Bucky to come barreling in here pissed as hell. Then you heard the pounding on your door. You braced yourself as you slowly walked up to it, opening it a little, but then Bucky barged in.

“I’ve tried to be nice to you. I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ve also tried to get you to see that I don’t want a relationship with you, but what do you do? You keep fucking showing up around me and trying to fucking seduce me.” He was angry. Boy, you really didn’t like where this was going. Soon enough it’ll change. 

“Why don’t you get it? I. Don’t. Like. You. Sure, you’re not a bad friend, but I don’t see you as a girlfriend, and I never will. I mean, how to fuck did you even manage to know my Ma’s iced tea recipe? What you do, have Banner build you a time machine and went back and ask her? You’re fucking sick Y/N, an absolute nut.” You stayed quiet the whole time. Sure, his words stung, but he didn’t mean it. The Bucky you love was slowly coming to, you could see it.

He began to ramble and ramble while you just stood there. You saw something in his eyes, a flash of horror, then confusion, then denial, some anger, then acceptance. He was showing his love for you. You could tell by the red in his cheeks and the hardening length in his pants becoming more prominent.

“If I’m so nuts, then why are you turned on by it right now?” You stalked over to Bucky. You hands came into contact with his sweatpants, lightly tracing over the member.  

“W-what did you do?” 

“Oh, nothing, just a little something my Momma taught me back in the day. She said that if any of the kids were mean to you at school, then give ‘em a sip of that secret potion I showed you. Then they’ll all love you.”

“A-are you a witch?’ Bucky couldn’t move his body to stop you from undoing the string on his sweats. You didn’t answer him.

“Please, c’mon don’t do this. You don’t have to. Listen, I’ll take you out, show you the town. I wanna show off a pretty dame like you, then make love you on my bed.” Bucky was shocked by his own words. Make love? He didn’t want to have sex with you, not by a long shot.

“Oh Bucky, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words. Come, sit on my bed. We’ve got some work to do don’t we?” Bucky wasn’t in control of his body anymore, you were. It was like HYDRA all over again.

He made his way to the bed, sweats now around his ankles. He mentally cursed himself for skipping boxers today, he really needs to start doing laundry for often. You began to strip off his shirt and took off your clothes as well. 

“P-please, please don’t.” Bucky begged.

“Oh honey, I love it when you beg for me.” You began to stroke his cock and he couldn’t deny that it felt amazing. 

Teasingly, you gripped his length up and down, extracting those delicious moans from your soulmate. His face was contorting wildly. Half of him wanted to touch you and the other half wanted to knock your lights out for what you’ve done to him. Did the other team mates get affected by this? Would they be joining you and him later on. Bucky was too deep in thought and didn’t even realize that you’ve begun to put your mouth around his cock. 

Bucky was a moaning mess and you were dripping for him. You picked up your pace and sucked him off hard. Only a few more sucks and he’d be cumming down your throat. He was getting close you could tell. 

“Baby, please.” Baby? What the shit was Bucky thinking. You weren’t his baby.

“Lay down for me honey, let me ride this pretty cock.” Bucky moaned again and his body began to lay back on your bed sheets. 

You got up off the floor and position yourself in between his cock. Tall, thick, and damn near impressive. You lowered yourself down and both you and Bucky let out a hiss in pleasure. You rocked your hips back and forth a little, teasing both him and yourself a bit. 

“Alright I’ve had enough of this.” You began to bounce on him. Bucky couldn’t breath properly. You were so skilled at this. How? He’s only ever heard you’ve been with one other guy, and that was years ago.

“Such a good boy taking this tight pussy. You gonna come for me baby boy?” Bucky nearly lost it when he heard you say that. You weren’t awful at sex by any means, and damn did you have your dirty talk down pat.

“C’mon baby boy, paint my walls. Want you to cum inside me baby. Wanna feel you dripping out of me.” Your breasts were flying as you bounced more and more and Bucky snapped. He couldn’t control it as much as he thought he could. He came inside you. You stayed on him for a bit and then moved off of him when you felt him getting soft.

“That was amazing baby boy. See, I knew you’d come around eventually.” You began to get dressed again. Bucky was slowly coming to. 

“What did you do to me?”

“Just a little something Momma taught me. I don’t know what your Ma’s recipe it Bucky. The potion just made it seem that way to you. The others won’t be feeling like you did.” You pulled on your socks and made your way to the bathroom to grab a wash cloth for Bucky. It’s true, hit won’t affect the others, the potion was only meant for Bucky. I mean, you had to put that lock of hair to use ever since you snagged a piece of it after he got it cut. Better you used it on something useful.

“You’re a fucking monster.” Bucky still couldn’t move. “Why did you do that?”

You ignored him and began to fold his clothes. “You should regain feeling of your body in about an hour or so. Don’t think about trying to tell your buddies out there what happened. Made sure the potion fabricated their memories a bit. Over this last hour or so, you’ve been bumming around with Sam on the PS4. Everyone “saw” it happen.” 

“Fuck you. I’ll make you pay for this.” Bucky was being belligerent again, You simply ignored him and walked towards the door, pausing and looking back at him.

“And by the way Bucky boy, I’m not ready for babies.” You smirked develishy and left the room.

[mizzy636]

Things found in the Hogwarts Staff Room of @shanastoryteller’s survival is a talent, as thought of by @kerov and me:

Countdown Until the Weasley Twins & Co Graduate (Begun at the end of their first month when it became obvious the Marauders had found their spiritual legacy)

Countdown Until Quinn Graduates (Separate from the Weasley Twins despite being the same number because zir antics require it, begun mentally by Snape but has since become one of the most updated by the entire staff)

Countdown Until Potter & Co Graduate (Begun after the troll in first year because it was the first sign of the chaos to come, now updated religiously by at least half the staff each day, with everyone who can attend the update arriving)

Countdown Until Malfoy Graduates (Begun in 4th year due to Draco’s crazy becoming more obvious to more than just Flitwick, Lupin, and Snape (who had already had mental countdowns) and worrying the professors that he’s going to put himself in an exhaustion-induced coma with how much he’s trying to do, and it’s only getting worse)

Countdown Until Ginny Weasley & Co Graduate (Only added in their second year (Harry’s third) when it slowly became obvious which of the youngest two Weasley children was more like the Twins)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Weasley Twin Prank (The highest number it ever reached was 5, and that was due to them being so busy between detentions and, more importantly, Quidditch practice in their 5th year (Harry’s 3rd) to win the Cup that year that they were too exhausted to plan any pranks – the professors celebrated that number for a week straight)

It Has Been __ Days Since Quinn Blew Something Up (Begun by Snape well before it was put in the Staff Room due to zir love of blowing up cauldrons)

It Has Been __ Days Since Quinn Fucked Something Up (Yes, it needed its own countdown, the staff realized; there was a major difference between the two)

It Has Been __ Days Since Malfoy Did Something that Should Have Been Impossible Even With Magic (Begun during 4th year when he continually did what should have been impossible throughout the year, to the point they were resigned to it rather than shocked)

It Has Been __ Days Since Potter & Co’s Last Nonsense (Begun by McGonagall after she caught them out of bed due to Norberta in first year, since it reminded her of the Marauders, and the others joined in as they caught on that they had already done way too much nonsense for simple first years and it wasn’t a good sign)

It Has Been __ Days Since Potter Ended Up in the Hospital Wing (Madam Pomfrey began this countdown during his second year, and others were quick to follow it; the only reason Draco doesn’t have his own is because he has yet to end up in the hospital wing, but there are most certainly bets going on about when he will end up in there and gain his own count in the Staff Room)

It Has Been __ Days Since Finnegan Blew Something Up (Begun within a month of him entering Hogwarts as he quickly became notorious for his love of fires and explosions)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Quidditch-Related Fight (This has been around for as long as Quidditch has been at Hogwarts, and its numbers are always smallest before a match, especially the Gryffindor-Slytherin one, and highest during the off-season, but even during the off-season it gets reset occasionally) 

It Has Been __ Days Since a Couple was Found in a Broom Cupboard by Staff (Begun before any current professors could name, it was a simple way for professors to tell the rest of the staff that yet another couple was stupid enough to be caught in a broom cupboard, rather than having to actually mention it to one another)

It Has Been __ Days Since Gryffindor Caused School-Wide Rumors (Notorious for having one of the smallest numbers, most years, though apparently in 1768 they went an entire school year without it being reset; there’s a plaque for that year)

It Has Been __ Days Since Slytherin Caused School-Wide Rumors (Often competing with Gryffindor for most often reset, especially since Voldemort began to rise in the 70s, though even before then resets were common) 

It Has Been __ Days Since Hufflepuff Caused School-Wide Rumors (More often reset than some may guess, but they also hold the title for some of the most insane rumors that float around that were actually proven true, like the time they made a tunnel out of Hogwarts and ran the smuggling ring of the castle for over a decade back in the 1850s-60s)

It Has Been __ Days Since Ravenclaw Caused School-Wide Rumors (Least commonly reset, but almost every single reset occurred due to experimentation with magic that caused either an amazing result or destruction)

It Has Been __ Days Since a School-Wide Disaster (While recently this most often coincides with either Harry & Co’s Last Nonsense or a Weasley Twin Prank (or the Marauders before them), it has historically been reset due to events such as the Chamber of Secrets being opened, an epidemic of a disease, Peeves causing a huge mess (with student assistance), the house elves going on strike and not cooking for over a day straight, creatures from the Forbidden Forest trying to invade the castle, the giant squid finding its way into the Black Lake, etc.)

It Has Been __ Days Since the Last Unexplained Phenomenon (The origin date of this count is unknown and likely goes back to near the time of the Founders; it is just constantly kept in the Staff Room and updated when necessary)

It Has Been __ Days Since the Defense Professor was Hired (Begun when the curse on the position was noticed, it became a source of amusement for many professors to see which Defense professor survived the curse the longest before a new professor took over; this is one count that is usually charmed to be hidden from said professor, of course)

__ Days Until Potter’s Annual June Bullshit (Begun after second year when they realized this was going to be an annual event and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the castle for them to be dealing with this)

List of the Most Insane Pranks Pulled by the Weasley Twins

List of the Worst Fuck Ups Quinn Managed

List of the Insane Situations Potter & Co Found Themselves In

List of Impossible Magic Malfoy Pulled Off

List of What Sent Potter to the Hospital Wing Again

List of Unique Quidditch Injuries (Harry’s broken arm to no bones at all made this list)

List of Insane Quidditch Stunts (Harry’s first match definitely made this list)

List of Unique Hospital Wing Visits (Hermione’s Polyjuice Potion incident is on it)

List of the Worst Student Fuck Ups (In the Classroom and Out of It)

List of the Most Unique Places Couples Were Found Together

List of School-Wide Disasters

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Gryffindor School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Slytherin School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Hufflepuff School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Ravenclaw School-Wide Rumors

Lists From the Past (Stored in a cabinet of the Staff Room for anyone curious to look at):

Countdown Until the Class of 1978 Graduates (Begun early in their first year due to the Marauders but then gaining even more followers of it as more and more of the year caused problems such as Snape and Evans and their friends; that class couldn’t graduate soon enough for the professors’ sanities)

It Has Been __ Days since James Potter Asked Lily Evans Out (Because really, it got to be a way too common thing and the staff were curious to see how high it could go before they reset it; that number was actually 64 in their 6th year near the end when he began to finally calm down and mature)

It Has Been __ Days since James Potter was in Detention (This number remained ridiculously low until his 6th year, with the record being 14 days and that only due to Quidditch)

It Has Been __ Days since Sirius Black was in Detention (His and James’ lists were usually reset at the same time, to absolutely no one’s surprise)

It Has Been __ Days since Remus Lupin was in Detention (Of the Marauders, his count reached the highest numbers, but even his was reset at least every other month for most of their time at Hogwarts)

It Has Been __ Days since Peter Pettigrew was in Detention (Somewhere between James/Sirius and Remus, Peter’s record was just shy of a month at 27 days before their 6th year)

It Has Been __ Days since Severus Snape was in Detention (A large majority of his detentions were caused by fights with the Marauders, but some were due to experimenting with potions with Lily and blowing something up)

It Has Been __ Days since Severus Snape and/or Lily Evans Blew Up a Cauldron (They were the Quinn of their era, constantly experimenting with potions and blowing something up, hence his exasperation with Quinn and why the professors that had taught him were subtly and not-so-subtly laughing their asses off at how ze was what he deserved, until they realized ze got progressively worse each year and it started affecting them too)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Fight Between Slytherins and Gryffindors (Influenced by the fighting due to the war occurring outside of Hogwarts between Voldemort and Death Eaters and those who opposed them, this was much more common in the 70s than it is in the 90s, so it was retired after Voldemort’s “defeat” in 1981)

It Has Been __ Days Since There was a Magical Creature Running Loose in the Castle (Begun during Newt Scamander’s time as a student, it was retired after he was expelled, believed to be unnecessary, only for Hagrid to become a student and require its resurrection; the staff didn’t realize it until after he was expelled and could then have his creatures near him on the grounds by his hut, finally revealing the source)

[artsninspo]

PULSE : PART III - WHO IS YOU?

PART I | PART II | PART III

PART III - WHO IS YOU?

Black had always been a pretty good judge of character, its how he’d survived on his own for so long. He did what he had to do to survive comfortably, nothing more nothing less. He didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep and he maintained relationships within their necessary boundaries - never blurring lines. Women had always been the easiest to keep in check. He had a reputation as a sure thing, rules too like no contact it it wasn’t about sex. No contact if she’s on her period. If he needed someone to talk to he’d see a shrink. If he needed love he’d get a pet or visit Lisa the woman that raised him.

His size and demeanour did what he needed it to do. Keep people away.

Elle Blake on paper and in person were two completely different people. She’d lived a privileged life but could navigate the neighbourhood without issue. She didn’t take his demeanour towards her personally and her mouth is fucking lethal.

Everyday, he’d see her walking home and everyday he drove past her, rain or shine. Since then Black had been getting presents in his washer and dryer. Boxers with days of the week printed on the ass, socks with toe slits in ridiculous colours with his name printed on the bottoms and other childish annoying shit. Today in the dryer were the lollies from down the street “suckers to stay sucker free”. He’d have checked anyone else for it but he knew she was doing it purposely to get under his skin and not to be disrespectful.

The rain is really coming down and Elle looks around but all the cabs are occupied. He contemplates making his car spray her with water but decides against it pulling over slowly and opening the door. She looks confused before walking and getting in.

“Thanks” she mutters getting on her seatbelt on and shivering from being drenched. He turns off the air conditioning to keep her from getting a cold. She’s pissed - not at him but he can feel the anger radiating from her. Her phone rings and she declines the call immediately taking a deep breath. Her phone rings again and she rolls down the window chucking it into a puddle. Black continues to drive when he hears her sniffle and she wipes the tears away smearing her make up. Its not an act, it’s not like the games women ploy to get attention. He says nothing enjoying the silence until his phone rings. He hits decline not wanting to talk business in the company of someone else.

Black parks looking over at Elle and reaching into his glove compartment taking out some wet-wipes.

“You’re not about to leave my car looking like that” he comments pointing at her racoon eyes from the tears and make up. She concedes taking the wet wipes pulling down the mirror and cleaning herself up . When she’s done she gets her things taking her trash and unlocking the door.

“I’m not trying to get in your business-“

“Then don’t” Elle snaps before sighing with tears in her eyes again. “Look, I appreciate the ride, thank you can we leave it at that?” She asks causing him to chew the inside of his lip.

“I hope no one in the neighbourhood has you soft like this” he comments casually looking away from her and at his mirror. He’d threatened her and she’d kept her cool - whatever this was it had to be big.

“Nothing to do with anything here” Elle sighs looking at Black honestly.

He nods unlocking the door, “Cool” he says but she’s already out the car heading inside. He stops in his tracks seeing Dia Evans the best lawyer in the city, maybe even state and her daughter at Elles door. Their eyes are kind and caring; everything Elle doesn’t want right now. She stops looking up at them and turning to head back towards the exit.

“Elle!” Dia calls before she can open the door.

“Kiz, Dia, I’m fine. I don’t want company or to talk about it I just want to be alone - respect that or leave” Elle says calmly with tears in her eyes again.

“Okay” Kizzy agrees but Dia doesn’t say anything. “Is this Mr. Asshole” Kizzy whispers looking at Black who’s witnessed everything.

“Black” Elle mutters in response heading up the flight of stairs to her door.

He didn’t know what to make of it. Especially when the yelling started and went on for hours. Especially when Kizzy knocked at his door looking worn out.

“Sorry to bother you, where can I find the super?” She asks.

“He don’t be here like that” Black comments looking down at her with his typical expression.

“Guess, I’ll just google his number” Kizzy breathes looking back in the direction of Elles door?

“Is the yelling over?” He asks offending Kizzy.

“Fuck you” she snarls flipping him off and storming down the stairs to the exit.

She’s the hot head.

Black notes giving her a pass, whatever it was they all were acting crazy. He shouldn’t have opened the door for her in the first place.

…

Black had noticed Elle on the screens when she first came in. He shook his head watching all the guys in the venue posture themselves to get at her. Business had to be completed but still his eyes searched the monitors every few minutes making a mental not of where Elle was next, all the while ignoring his associates periodically. In his mind she was too pretty to be here. Not that she was the most beautiful woman ever, it’s just every man likes new pussy and to be the first to tap into it. He’d watched her throw at least five shots back getting happier each time and bouncing around dancing with any and everyone. He checked the time only to see thirty minutes until closing - usually it would be more sparse than this.

“Get these nigga’s outta here” Reggie his security who does exactly that leaving Elle entertaining the bartender. He’d never seen Stevie look at a woman the way he was looking at Elle and he’s gay.

“I got this you close up” Black says stepping behind the bar as Elle hiccups looking up. It takes her nearly a minute to recognize him and when she does she groans.

“Fuck” she laughs putting her head down onto her crossed arms. “God, I don’t wanna dream about this guy” she says looking into the ceiling.

“You aren’t dreaming” he tells her and she pouts taking another shot.

“That’s enough or you’ll have your stomach pumped”

“Doesn’t matter, nothing matters” she sniffles looking around. “Why’d they stop the music?” She asks.

“It’s three in the morning”

“How much would it cost you to kill me?” Her words surprise Black.

“Dia Evans’ niece?” He asks and she shakes her head coherent enough to understand it’s not going to happen.

“Come on lets go” he says but she refuses.

“Turn the music back on, I’m not done yet” she smiles getting behind the empty booth and pressing buttons turning on music but only one subwoofer is connected making it much less obnoxious. Black pours himself a drink watching her jump around in performance to two songs before he gets up.

“You look like a terrible dancer”

“I am”

“Shame, if you’re bad at that you’re bad at other things” Elle winks twirling around him playfully. “Surprising because I know it isn’t your personality that keeps those girls coming back”

“So you’ve given it some thought?” Black asks making Elle giggle.

“I don’t care about that stuff” Elle laughs shrugging. “My life was perfect, I had so much fun everyday, I laughed so much”

“What changed?’ Black asks and she swallows.

“Everything” she mutters. Before fanning her eyes and refusing to cry. He changes his posture to be less intimidating as he sits on one of the speakers letting Elle do her thing. “It’d tell you but you probably already know super sleuth” Elle smiles but its just a brave face.

“My name is Trevante, Tre for short’

“You’re just telling me that because I’m drunk and won’t remember”

“Maybe, but I don’t know why you’ve been sulking everyday. Kinda disappointing” he comments making Elle laugh as he stands. “Clubs closing” He points to the door and she retrieves a fluffy fur coat from coat check making Tre laugh. Its June. She sits in the car needing his help to buckle herself in.

“Trevante!” She shouts out of nowhere startling him before bursting out in laughter. “God my feet hurt” she groans unbuckling her heel straps to take them off. “Ouuuuch” she hisses seeing part of her foot is bloody. “Im gonna have an ugly scar.” She groans.

“It’s a foot”

“I’m a woman feet matter” she says making Tre scoff.

“You were just in the club no one was looking at your feet”

“Thats a damn shame, look at them. They’re cute” she says putting them on the dashboard.

“Beautiful, now take them down before I make you walk”

“You didn’t even look” Elle pouts taking them down and wincing again.

“Is your cousin home, can I drop you there so you don’t die?” Tre asks starting the engine. “No”

Tre nods starting on the way to their apartment building. When they arrive she’s asleep but wakes up to the sound of the car shutting off. Elle looks around re-orienting herself and reaching for her shoes.

“Your’e going to put those things back on?”

“Or walk barefoot?” Elle says sleepily and Tre takes the shoes.

“Where are your keys?”

Elle shrugs. “For fuck sake” Tre snaps heading up the stairs only to find them in her door. He braces himself for anything heading and seeing its a place fit for a princess as he does his check. Before finding a pair of boot like house slippers and heading back to the car to hand them to Elle. He walked behind her up the stairs in case she decided to fall anytime soon. She barely made it to her couch before passing out and making him feel uneasy. He’d cleaned himself up many times before. The cut on her foot of more of a burn but he cleans it correctly bandaging it and holding an ice pack against it while he took mental notes of her apartment. He couldn’t imagine what put her in such a state.

His mother had been beautiful too, once upon a time. Before the drinking turned into smoking, then pills, the prostitution and other stuff.

He sighs taking a deep breath before leaving suddenly feeling overwhelmed himself.

__________

Tags: @bugngiz @lifelover4u @l-auteuse @notsomellowmushroom @princessasaani @heavensangelxo

[giannimaldonado]

Album Of The Day: Satan Is Watching

When most people born after a certain period of time think of the genre that is “country”, and what it has morphed into in the context of this day and age, a lot of unpleasant images spring to mind. Pretty boy, clean cut, poser rednecks who’ve never seen a farm outside of their music videos, trying to pretend to be another “honest Joe” when they couldn’t be any further from such a thing, making trashy, twangy glam rock mixed with watered down trap music/EDM for white southerners who might have interesting views on those of different races, rolling around in million dollar sports cars while adopting the moniker of “working class”...is probably what your mind immediately begins to conjure up in that brain of yours.

I honestly can’t say that I blame you. Country, or, at least, MAINSTREAM country, has lost its way completely. Luke Bryan, Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw, and Blake Shelton polluted this once proud, grassroots, amazing genre with pandering, trite garbage aimed at making money off of dumb hicks in the bodies of frat boys whose trucks cost more than your own damn house.  Gone are the days when country music was filled to the brim talent, creativity, passion, and heart. Now, this “jock country” has taken its place, having thoroughly fucked country up the ass a few too many times that it has lost its way. For good, perhaps.

Underground country’s usually no better. There’s some exceptions (we’ll get to those soon), but for the most part, it, too, has gone off the rails and destroyed itself completely. It’s often just indie folk or what have you with even more acoustic guitars, though perhaps with more twang, whiny vocals that are trying (and failing) to recreate a stereotypical southern accent, a reliance on cheap gimmicks, sarcasm, and irony to carry their trash because the excrement can’t do that itself, and a musical quality that tries SO hard to imitate the great Mr. Cash, but is little more than a cheap, pale imitation that folks who wear WAY too much flannel and wire rimmed glasses will eat up like it’s the second coming of Joy Division.

No matter how you look at it, country has been thoroughly gentrified for the most part, just like many genres that were previously for a much different variety of people. Like trap music, or blues, or hardcore punk, or black metal. All of the original meaning is gone, driven out by money hungry label executives, clueless and ignorant listeners, and musicians hellbent on half-assing their way to fame and fortune.

It’s a crying shame, it really is.

But fret not, dear reader! There is still a soft, seedy underbelly of the country genre that has taken the long dead (yet forever revered and loved) sound of “outlaw shit”, as Mr. Jennings would put it so eloquently, to its most logical extreme. One that would make Nelson, Cash, Haggard, Coe, and others that might’ve been at the top of their “underground”, “anti-mainstream” game seem rather...accessible. These aforementioned artists and their peers are still greats who, in their primes, were powerhouses that made some of the greatest works the genre would ever produce. But when compared to this particular sound...they just don’t hold up as well. The rawness, the grassroots nature, the down-to-Earth (and sometimes below the Earth) attitude, the simplicity, the honesty, the bluntness, the intimacy, the melancholy...all of it gets turned way up to eleven. It’s dark, it’s mischievous, it’s harsh, it’s gritty, it’s angry, it’s bitter, it’s darkly humorous, it’s lonesome, it’s ornery, and it’s damn sure pretty fucking mean.

Call it whatever you want. “Southern gothic”, “dark country”, “death country”, “gothic country”. It doesn’t matter what name you apply to it. All that matters is that it’s country. Real fucking country. Country meant for the guttersnipes, punks, street urchins, hobos, peasants, and forlorn drifters. This ain’t pretty boy music. This isn’t nice, Christian contemporary that you can play at your local uptight establishment. These aren’t harmless tunes your the posers can get drunk and go mudding to. This is country as it was meant to be. The eptiome of the term “outlaw shit”.

There’s a plethora of wonderful bands in this scene. Sons Of Perdition, Sixteen Horsepower, whatever project Jay Munly’s got going on this time around, The Dead South, the early days of The Devil Makes Three, The Builders And The Butchers, Wovenhand, Ghoultown, Coffinshakers, The Pine Box Boys, and, of course, everyone’s favorite descendant of the Williams family tree. The third one, that is.

But all of those fall short of that truly, truly, TRULY horrific honky-tonk, old-time, folksy, backwoods atmosphere that this duo produces. One that hails from the isolated, empty thickets that lie out in rural Wisconsin. A mentally disturbed pair of “prophets of the country doom”, as they have decided to label themselves. A fine example of those who have gone completely mad, completely sad, and doing so makes them feel very glad. They revel in their craziness, and while no album sounds the same, each one is marred by a couple of recurring themes: humanity is worthy of being sent straight to the fiery depths, these boys are depressed beyond your wildest comprehension, a rebellion against both God and Satan, and a desire to document the lifestyle of society’s forgotten ones, hated ones, and feared ones.

Let me introduce you to Those Poor Bastards.

Fitting name for a couple of enigmatic, largely unknown, extremely obscure pair of men known simply as Lonesome Wyatt (impassioned orations and guitar-based melodies) and The Minister (everything else).

The Minister is completely anonymous, with no one having even seen his face, while all that’s known about Lonesome Wyatt is that he’s from Wisconsin, (probably) lives alone, and is likely of an unsound state of mind.

Why is that all important? Well, go listen to their albums, and then you’ll find out why these little intricacies are vital to the dynamic duo’s imagery, music, and cult status.

While all of their material is quite good in my opinion, today we’re going to look at my favorite album from them, and possibly my favorite album from any country artists EVER! Everyone, please proceed to throw on “Satan Is Watching.”

What you’ll first be met with Lonesome Wyatt letting out a loud, wild, manic screech that almost doesn’t sound...human. It’s not even a word. Just an unhinged howl like Lonesome Wyatt’s been possessed by some sort of demon from the pits of Hell, having taken over the “doomsday preacher boy” to spread the wicked gospel. A hell of a start to an album of any kind, let alone a country album. It’s bold, but it lets you know right off the bat that they aren’t fucking around. This is going to be a rough ride from start to finish, and you’ll be left quaking in your seat once Those Poor Bastards has pierced your mind, heart, and soul with their fiendishly unholy sound. A truly nihilistic piece of art about how this world is foul and wretched, and deserves to burn to a cinder.

But that’s just the first song.

Things only manage to get worse from there. Everything from songs about how Lonesome Wyatt’s a degenerate who revels in just how much filth and squalor he lives in, to songs (well, more like suspiciously suicidal rants) about how life is fucked and there’s just no point in living it anymore, to various “take that!” pieces towards lovers who have wronged him in times that have long since passed, presumably. Typical topics for country artists, but contorted and warped to the point where they sound like miniature horror stories being yelled and hollered by a crazy, top-hat wearing yokel than the struggles and strife that are endured by the common man/downtrodden fellow. Hell, there’s even a Johnny Cash cover! A twisted, perverted, scummy, bone-chilling, haunting, eerie take on the previously wholesome, innocent love song The Man In Black made for June. I can’t exactly look at it the same way, what with these mysterious hooligans having thoroughly butchered it.

Instrumentation is minimalist and simple. Nothing too fancy or technical here. It’s quite self-explanatory. Despite how evil it is, the rhythms are still toe-tappingly catchy. The drums, being pounded upon by the fiery hands of The Minister, provide anything from a nice, plodding beat you can stomp your feet to, all the way to a rowdy raucous of a banger that’ll have you doing some sort of line dance with the living dead. Lonesome Wyatt beats upon his acoustic guitar like it owes him money. Not even really playing it. Just smashing the strings until weird, disgruntled, odd noises come out of it. He also seems to thoroughly shatter his ability to talk without a sore throat, pushing his voice to its very limits. The bass compliments everything very well, providing a creepy, fuzzy, dirge-like texture in the background to keep the menacing tone alive and well.

All in all, while this may not “experimental”, “avant-garde”, or even “progressive”, this is certainly an album that’ll give you the heebie-jeebies, and for a country album, it is most certainly “out there”. It takes the usual country tropes, and either turns them into something out of a David Lynch movie, or subverts/plays with them to fuck with the audience and make them contort their face with confusion...and excitement. A spooky bit of acoustic noise that’ll restore your faith in country music, and remind you that there is still a small resemblance of a spark left within the dying genre.

Please, I highly recommend you check this out.

This has been another installment of “Esoteric Warfare”, and remember...

NOISE, NOT MUSIC!

[midnight-watch-committee]

Story 1: what happened to Sheridan

Journalism, second period of the day, 9:34 in the morning., June 22nd, 2018.

There was a tv on in the class room, we always had the news on in there to help us, "a free cheat sheet if you use it right" as Mr. Haddison would call it. Every now and again people would be mildly interested in what was happening: law suits, politics, and murder for the morbid. A sudden gasp escaped from the girl next to me. Her name was Beth and if you saw her, you’d probably expect her to be a computer club kid. A headband kept her bright orange hair that almost looked fake from falling into her rounded, golden framed glasses, she was the youngest person in this room by about five minutes and she made sure you knew when you walked in, her sporadic and adventure seeking personality was as wild as the bright stickers on her laptop and pins on her shirt which told you every fandom she was in. She tapped me quickly on the shoulder, which was met by a cold “I’m busy,” but her insistent tapping eventually made me cave, as I looked up to what was shocking her, I realized why she gasped so loudly. “How do you lose an entire town?!” I said, or rather screamed. My friend Mikey quickly covered my mouth, expecting me to scream more about something or other, but I was more in shock than anything.  Mikey slowly moved his hand off my mouth and wiped it on his letterman jacket, “Could you be any louder?” he asks sarcastically, which I feel tempted to test but decide against it. Sheridan, Wyoming...”it was just there five minutes ago”, according to one of the people interviewed, a man who left town to grab a prescription from a nearby pharmacy. “Hey, Mike, how far is that” I asked. “Not crazy far-Juni, do you have another stupid idea?” he answered, already knowing what I was gonna say, “Just one...” I respond. “Dumb ideas? Like what, going to the crater formerly known as Sheridan? Juni, it’s gone, I’m sure the police are-” Beth started before getting shot a “shut the fuck up” look from Mikey. “What are the cops gonna do? IT’S GONE! If they plan on arresting us for looking at a hole in the ground, I’m sure a court will easily rule in our favor.” I spit out. “Jeez, fine! If you two are going, I’m tagging along to make sure you idiots don’t get hurt.” Beth said whipping out her phone “What time should I expect Mr. Can’t drive for shit to show up?” Mikey let out a chuckle. Not his “I found that funny” chuckle but a forced one, the kind you do when your sister tells a really bad joke but your mom shot you a look. “8:30, ditch the pink, we’re trespassing and we can’t repeat the O’Reily house incident.” She gave me a thumbs up, punched it into her phone and went back to her work.

The Vallen residence, 8:20 at night.

I looked in the mirror one last time, my jet-black hair an absolute mess but not like I’d ever bother fixing it. I decided to settle on a blue baseball cap to hide the rat’s nest. A black sleeveless jacket and torn blue jeans were my only real protection from anyone spotting my pale ass from a mile away. I checked the film on my grandfather’s, well mine now, camera. I gently trailed my finger over the weird markings that surround the outside of the camera. I heard my phone go off from the other room and darted over to it, slipping it in my jacket pocket and making a break for the door, pulling up my black face mask and hoping in the back of Mikey’s dark red pickup truck. He had some cheerleader girl up front with him and they clearly seemed to be taking a while so I gave the roof a few rough slaps. He rolled his window down and snapped “How many times do I have to say stop doing that before you fucking stop?” I rolled my eyes and laid down as we pulled off. I shot Beth a text letting her know we were on our way and took a nap for the 30 minuets it took to get to her place, she hopped in and checked to make sure I was still alive, trying to keep me awake so I was ready to do my job. I was the group photographer, Mike was the muscle and Beth was our pretty face who got everyone’s attention, I’d do more up-front stuff if it wasn’t for my social anxiety so for now that goes to Beth. “Did you check the film?” she asked, to which I nodded. “Good, good...how do I look?” I crack a smile and give her the trademark Beth Thumbs up ™, curving my thumb slightly to copy hers. She rolled her eyes and made sure her recorder was still working. There was something about the way the light hit her and the look in her eyes that left me stunned. Click! I snapped a quick picture of her and waved the film around, checking it. Perfect. I slipped it into my jacket pocket hoping she didn’t see me take it as the truck comes up on what was Sheridan.

Sheridan, Wyoming 8:50 at night.

We slowed to a halt a few inches away from the crater. “God, does he want us to get stuck in there?” I mumbled to Beth before hoping out, tapped on the window and gestured for him to back up. The vehicle rolled back and just as quickly as he reversed, he slammed down on the breaks, most likely giving poor Beth a major concussion. Mikey got out from the front, telling Sherri or Cherri or Cherry or whatever her name was to wait there, Beth started her audio recorder and we started our search. We walked around the perimeter of Former Sheridan, snapping photos of weird shaped rocks that seemed placed by something to hold the dirt back from reaching the middle and flowers that were left in the crater by those who thought everyone there was dead already, sitting in between all those flowers were four glowing blue rocks. “We should go in.” I blurt out, “I mean, when have we ever been scared to go into something? We’ve been in hospitals during outbreaks for Christ's sake!” Beth and Mikey look at each other, have a quick whisper debate that seems to end in Beth winning and sends Mikey back to the truck to grab some climbing equipment and set it up at the spot we were standing near. Beth offered me the rope and I accepted, sliding down all the way to the bottom of the crater, about 15 feet deep. “what the- HEY GUYS GET DOWN HERE!” I shouted, and started snapping pictures of a hole dug into the side of the crater...no, dug is wrong. There were bite marks on the outside of the hole. As if provoked by my camera, a gray, eight legged, slimy, insect shaped...CREATURE came charging out. It’s lack of eyes was amplified by it snarling, four toothed jaw. If you took of the tail of a scorpion and made it the size of a small building, you’d have this thing. The creature started stomping around the crater screeching. Legs brought up dust, chomping it up in the air. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!” Beth screamed down into the hole and honestly, I didn’t know. I snapped a few more quick photos and broke for the rope, not wanting to be down there any longer. On my way up, I noticed the writing on the outside of the camera glowing, now readable as “Midnight watch committee.” As whatever the fuck that was screeched after us, we hoped in the truck and booked it, leaving cheer girl in wonder as to what we saw down there but we didn’t even have the sanity in that moment to describe it,.

Vallen residence, Midnight.

This thing was like something right out of some old country children’s tale. “Wait a minute...” I thought to myself, I flung open every filing cabinet in the attic, trying to find the old book my grandfather use to read to me from. My mom always hated it and time and time again told him to not read it to me, but he never listened. “The world’s a scary place,” he would say “nothing wrong with teaching her what to expect.” After maybe the 500th cabinet filled with pitch blackness, my hands bumped into the large leather-bound book. I blew the dust off it, remembering the last time I had ever had this read to me was when my mom was still alive. As if like magic, I open the book up to a random page and saw exactly what I was looking for, “The Earth Eater.” My jaw dropped reading everything in there, all the lives it had taken...but what really threw me off was...the book mentioned Sheridan’s disappearance. Did the author know? Was this some kind of joke? I set the book down on my Grandfather’s dark colored oak desk and went to bed, my mind still racing.

Bus ride from Vallen residence to Big Horn high school, 6:15, June 23rd, 2018

It was a cold early morning, but if you were up then, even in the pitch blackness, you would’ve seen the way the ground exploded near us as the Earth Eater rose from the ground, sending the bus flying. It felt like everything happened so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. I got sent flying into the seat next to me, like many others, and hit my arm against the seat hard enough to hear a loud cracking sound. It felt like every single nerve in my body dedicated itself to making me feel nothing but pain in my arm at that moment, as I tried to move it, I realized just how badly it had truly broken. The creature charged toward the bus, its none existent eyes locked on me I imagine, and for one last desperate attempt to make a story out of this, I pointed my camera at it the best I could through a window. A soft Click! Filled the air, followed by a vrrr as the camera pushed out a Polaroid, by the time the photo had made it to me, Earth Eater was gone, back to maybe one day return from whence it went, or maybe not at all.

[soapxmactavish]

“Wanna try that again sweetheart?”

An Erik Lensherr/”Magneto” x OC oneshot - who would’ve thought. Cheers dad for making me obsessed with this guy now - shouldn’t have shown me First Class :D 

Thought I’d give myself a 1000 word oneshot challenge and here we are!

This is a one time thing and will highly likely never do...with Magneto. Now that I’ve done one with him I gotta do Alex and Soap MacTavish...

~~~

It was some time way past 2am. At least when she last glanced at her watch – who knows how long ago that was.

Holly stumbled inside the house, barely keeping her balance. Her drunken self forgot to be a little more aware of her surroundings, and so didn’t spot the figure sitting by the chair in the living room, silhouetted by the fireplace which cracked in the silence. He made no sounds and simply observed the young woman. Silent, a hunter stalking its prey.

“Shit,” she giggled. She took off her thick coat in the sudden yet welcome warmth in her house. She closed the door behind her with a loud slam, more laughter quietly escaping from her as she jumped from the unexpected noise. Disoriented, tired, and world spinning, Holly went to go turn a corner and head for her room, but a voice stopped her dead in her tracks. She was a deer in headlights. Caught.

“Where have you been?” 

Holly was too busy focusing on keeping down the alcohol in her stomach to figure out whose voice just spoke out of thin air. She turned around, and in a swirly vision realised she wasn’t alone in this room. Crap. 

There was a small hesitant, pause. “...out?” She asked, a confused smile breaking out. 

Erik kept himself composed on the single-seated chair. He wore a black coat and long pants, keeping himself warm from the June cold. A coin hovered over his hand, fingers swirling to keep the metal afloat. He wore a poker mask, concealing the anger yet concern simmering beneath him. 

“Where?” He asked, his voice soft yet dangerous. 

Holly shrugged, no concern or real thought. “With friends. Why would it matter to you?”

Erik sighed. “You keep going out, even though you’re not allowed.”

“Yeah? Well, go tell Xavier to go shove it up his bloody ass and fuck off.” 

If he wanted to, the mutant could’ve pierced the tension in the air with a knife from the kitchen. Instead, he only gave a sigh and stood up without making a sound. In a slow manner, he fixed his sleeve of his coat and made his way to the girl. 

“Wanna try that again sweetheart?” 

Holly hadn’t felt like standing around, and so turned her back on Erik, who’d stopped walking towards her in reaction to her sudden leave. There was something wrong with her, and he wanted to find out. 

“Holly Grace,” Erik called out softly, as he navigated himself through the small house in which she lived in. Even though he’d never been inside before, there was no guilt of entering and thought to inspect the house before her arrival. Without trouble, he found himself in front of her bedroom door. It was slightly ajar.

“Fucking stupid piece of-Erik!”

Holly cried out as she saw her silver bracelet unhook on its own, gliding towards her bedside table. Her eyes darted to the door, and saw the man in question, shrouded behind the door.

Erik pushed the door further out. There Holly stood, drunk, in high-waisted jeans and a silver lacy push-up bra. He didn’t even bother to walk back out. He couldn’t walk back out. 

The woman only folded her arms, thinking he wouldn’t be bothered by this sight. “What do you want?” She wasn’t in the mood for games. The thought of her finally getting sleep was too good to be delayed.

“You’re feisty when you’ve had too much to drink,” Erik softly commented, standing by the doorway. His eyes flickered as they gave a glance at the forbidden beauty which stood in front of him.

She flicked an eyebrow and laughed. “Better than being a sad fuck.” Holly gave a second, before raising her arms. “What do you want?” 

Erik made his way towards her, hoping to be successful this time. This was something that Holly kind of admired about the German - his mysterious, broody, self and that soft tone he speaks in which he speaks, even when boiling with anger. 

Cat getting a hold of her tongue, the girl swallowed deeply. She could feel the man’s stares which looked right into her. This sent a whole lot of crazy sparks going on in her, and didn’t want to get out of control. She’d only just been gifted this house from Charles Xavier, and knew he wouldn’t be happy to see a blaze coming out from her house, caused by herself or not.

Fuck, I shouldn’t have drank so much. 

By now, Erik was so close Holly could smell the cologne draped on him. She saw a small scar on his cheek, beneath blue eyes which looked so daring and wanting.

Holly tensed as he placed a calloused hand on her cheek. His thumb gave small, gentle rubs. This only made everything worse for her, as tension caused the sparks to grow in size and power. She could almost feel them prickling at her palms. It was a tease.

“What do I want, you ask?” Erik whispered, carefully tucking a stray baby hair behind the woman’s ear. His eyes grazed over the face of which he’s seen for so many years. Whose baby face had grown into a beautiful piece of art sculptured by the renaissance masters themselves.

It felt wrong to him, knowing he deceived everyone by appearance, by his middle-aged rugged face and powerful build. He’d came to the conclusion that all mutants had special DNA which almost halted their aging process in adulthood. He wondered when Holly would have her turn. He’d never thought he’d end up waiting for her.

Erik leaned closer, their lips only inches apart. Holly felt his breath on her cheek, felt her whole body warm up, hands especially.

It didn’t disappear when the man brought his lips to her ear, acting so fragile and wary. His next words were soft, almost non-existent, yet spoke so clearly and loud. A small sentence which spoke a thousand words.

“I want what I can’t have.”