#the witcher hallmark au

[magdelanesingerin]

Blooms on the Mountain

“Oh, buddy, come the fuck oooonnnnn.” The brake lights on the RV in front of him lit up again as they went slowly around a gentle curve in the mountain road, and Eskel let his head fall back against the seat of his truck, clinging to his patience and the steering wheel with white-nuckled hands. He wouldn’t trade his house in the middle of nowhere for anything, but driving through the pass in summer was an exercise in frustration with the road clogged by nervous, goggle-eyed tourists inching their way through the mountains, distracted by the stunning views and the unfamiliar twists and turns of the highway.

Eskel glanced down at his speedometer sadly and sighed, backing off from the RV a bit more and resigning himself to going 20 under for the next few miles til the next passing zone. The day was gorgeous, deep green conifers against the stark white of the remains of last winter’s snow pack blanketing the high peaks. The brilliant green of the feathery new larch needles, the yellow flash of glacier lilies scattered along the roadside. The rich blue of the sky crowded with towering clouds.

He rolled his shoulders and tried to relax, eyes flickering to his rearview mirror to see the line of increasingly impatient cars strung along the road behind them; getting home would take as long as it would take.

Still, it was a relief to finally turn off the highway onto his own gravel road. Winding his way through the cool, dappled shade of the woods helped to wash away more of the day’s stress as he passed the rough log archway marking the private entrance to a multi-million dollar lodge, then a shabby log house tucked into the hillside. The few houses were widely-spaced and private, something he appreciated. The truck bounced along through the ruts and holes that pockmarked the road every year, no matter how many times he and his neighbors paid to have it re-graveled, his mind already occupied with chores and dinner plans and the thought of his own bed.

The neighbors’ cabin winked through the trees as he turned off onto their shared driveway, curving up the hill. A deer burst through the underbrush in a panic, and Eskel slowed for a moment to let it dart in front of his truck, followed closely by a pair of spotted fawns.

“Look out, mama,” he murmured with a smile as they disappeared back into the woods, white tails flashing. His own house was just visible through the thick grove of birch and larch trees separating the properties when something else caught his attention and he stopped the truck with a frown.

continue on Ao3

Chapter 1 is up! Thank you, @dapandapod for betaing!

[inexplicifics]

WIP Folders Game

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

Tagged by @flawney - thank you!

Oooh boy. I think I need to learn how to make a readmore, because this is going to take a while. Also, I’m going to do non-AWAU fics only, I think.

I will not be tagging that many people! Please consider yourself tagged if you would like to be.

CAW Guxart mk 2

CAW: Cedric & Axel

CAW: Letho

Coën joins a pack (ISNLIV)

Jaskier writes to priscilla (ISNLIV)

SOH 3 (ISNLIV)

gaetan/letho in modern AU

Minor fall: Gweld

Pirate laiden - Aiden POV

Pirate laiden - Aiden POV 2

Gweld mk 3 (Three Bells)

Three bells - Vesemir

L/M warlady tribute 01

L/M warlady tribute 02

M/V guardian/mage

M/V guardian/mage 2

Aiden vs Puss in Boots

Broken lock - Marika & Milena reunite

Byzantine shifters - starbird

demon!Lambert/Milena

E/L wrestling

E/OC cursed Eskel

E/OC linnet

E/OC succubus rescue (outline)

Eldritch trio/Jaskier

Eskel & fae

Eskel character study

Eskel/Gaetan post-Tournament

Fine dining AU (notes)

G/E goat farm

G/E herbalist

G/E nostalgia deathfic

G/E prince & bodyguard

G/E/G2 packs

G/E/G2 volleyed & thundered 3

G/E/L 2nd 1st time sequel

G/E/L/J omegaverse claiming

G/J (?) werewolf!Geralt

G/J 5+1 Jaskier gets kidnapped

G/J catskier

G/J Geralt & a pixie

G/J h/c for Rose

G/J hostage essi

G/J little red riding hood

G/J mob AU

G/J modern AU lost J

G/J modern AU pack

G/J part-elf!J angst & h/c

G/J pirate!Geralt

G/J Rapunzel

G/J warlock!Jaskier

G/J warlord AU Jaskier volunteers

G/J whipping boy warlord AU

G/OC prostitute

G/Y dating

G/Y warlord AU

G/Y words

G2/S post tournament

Gargoyles with Starbird

Gen ? streetrats

Gen dragon wolf satyr bard

Gen high school AU

Gen KM with plumbing

Gen mercenaries

Gen nonhuman bar

Gen pavetta and geralt

Gen post-tournament school merger

Gen receptionist!Jaskier

Gen transformed Vesemir

Gen? Eskel & Deidre

Griffin pon farr

Gweld/Serrit modern college AU

J/W “warlord” CNC

J/W omegaverse pregnancy

J/W/C golden 3 - KM

knight!Milena

L/? Modern adult adoption

L/?/M space pirates

L/A against a wall

L/A collared Aiden

L/A d/s modern AU

L/A fae!Aiden

L/A fake dating modern AU

L/A hedgehog!lambert

L/A masseuse!aiden

L/A meet-cute karaoke 2

L/A modern with magic hedgehog

L/A neighbors

L/A omegaverse hidden scents

L/A pirate!Aiden for SAWB

L/A seven swans

L/A that-damned-cat

L/A thief’s reward sequel

L/A wrong apartment

L/A/M alpha!Milena

L/A/M auction: aiden

L/A/M bath aftermath

L/A/M bird!Milena

L/A/M cat witcher!milena

L/A/M cursed cat Aiden

L/A/M dire panther Milena

L/A/M dream soulmates

L/A/M duke’s third daughter

L/A/M fake dating

L/A/M fake dating modern AU

L/A/M forced marriage

L/A/M goddess!milena

L/A/M happened so fast second chapter

L/A/M high school AU

L/A/M holding out for a hero - finding Aiden

L/A/M knight!milena 2

L/A/M little merlambert

L/A/M mage!milena

L/A/M modern AU college

L/A/M modern AU tattooist

L/A/M modern auction

L/A/M modern tweet inspired

L/A/M modern wedding AU

L/A/M noble!Lambert witcher!Milena

L/A/M soulmate AU

L/A/M swan daemon

L/A/M time & tide alternate

L/A/M time travel soulmate AU

L/A/M Warlady Milena (and her Right Hand Zofia)

L/A/M wedding gift

L/A/V save that alpha

L/A/V/M bonding

L/A/V/M chase

L/A/V/M omegaverse

L/A/V/M omegaverse pt 2

L/A/V/M ruling omegas

L/A/V/M space romance

L/M batb beast!milena

L/M chained Milena

L/M chained Milena 2

L/M dom!Lambert

L/M dragon!Lambert

L/M hallmark yule mk 2

L/M holding out for a hero - marika miscommunication

L/M mail order milena

L/M meet cute in a cabin

L/M outsider POV

L/M sentinel/guide AU

L/M teacher!Milena

L/M werewolves darker

L/M wolves in the woods

L/M(/A?) modern bear trap

L/V cloaked

L/V/M begone to the witchers

L/V/M begone 2

Modern werewolf pack

tribute!Lambert warlord!Geralt

Vanyel in AWAU

Vexart tournament

Vipurr omegaverse human!gaetan

Vipurr regency AU

Weird omegaverse war prize thing

YW omegaverse acquiring Aiden

[astarab1aze]

Taro's Wishlist

a thread exploring the intricacies of nightfolk circuses and nightmarkets, particularly where it pertains to what nightfolk personally view as 'freakish' or acrobatically talented

a plot in which two lovers work to save the world together, be they 'chosen ones' or just a pair who took it upon themselves to do the hard work because it's the right thing to do, or maybe they're selfish and have ulterior motives

spice thread where it's essentially 'i'm so glad you're safe and alive' sex. there's a certain vulnerability in the relief and terror of barely managing to survive a given set of circumstances, and when those walls come crashing down? chef kiss

magic school shenanigans, falling in love in class, doing classwork together, stopping an evil mage from ruining everything for everyone else unu friendly competition and skipping class to makeout in the neverending staircase--

the muzzling and taming of mr loux garo, or his imprisoning at the triangulary and summary magical draining to then being tossed into the flesh-warden Additional Body Parts pile. break the poor dear out of prison!

vayn getting his very own knight in shining armor, perhaps literally. the classic prince and his knight trope, really. vayn deserves a storybook romance

thread where someone witnesses furie being possessed by mausza at least once

cyberpunk sunjatta. that's it, that's the idea

a full and complete exploration of viostra as both a barren wasteland and a crumbling ruin riddled with the undead and hallmark scars of a war unending - perhaps with hydre, since he's the one who condemned viostra to its fate

royal ball type thread where faith, the poor boy from the cathouse in purrna, gets to wear a gorgeous gown and meet a handsome man (who happens to be a prince) at the ball hosted by the eternal duchess of aefre - cinderella au sksksk

any plot in which my muses die or are severely wounded, those are fun

magical cave diving with viresca

a day in the life of average kirati citizens thread, maybe there's a tour and a deep dive into kirati culture, good food, grisly hunting trophies, the noticable presence of spider witchers at one of the inns--

life at the zurine university in zuri

single dad au for kaede, in which he and his daughter saki move to the countryside to start a new life far and away from the shikabane - spirited away shenanigans ensue

mecha/airship/paranormal/zombie/cyberpunk horror au, maybe shared universe? super weird mashup, but i have big brain ideas

some kind of s.pace d.andy/redline-esque thread

a grand, dark high fantasy epic built ground-up on vagueries and bad old english, serious undertones, dark symbolism & subtext, maybe get a little grimdark with it in the f.ear & h.unger kind of way - how does one handle a meatgrinder? two heads are better than one, but will they survive?

no magic/powers au, just. people.

loux getting cursed and transformed into the shape of a rat or some other such small animal, helping whomsoever is willing to help him out navigate traps, puzzles, and the like, then rewarding their efforts with a tungskin potion and a salacious remark

dad loux. dad kaede. dad hydre. dad mharra, because he's the kind of guy that would just- soften, utterly, and that temper would never again flare.

bear and bee thread, where muses get to spend the weekend at a meadery run by bears and bees complete with silly gimmicks and decor

faith getting take care of someone, anyone, in the fashions he knows how

asuka's friends visiting them in the hospital after their kidnapping

oblivion-esque mage's guild questline. i'm serious

fifth element au

corny, melodramatic rescue mission thread

hydre talking to x muse all the while subjecting the world to an icy death, pontificating pretentiously upon mortal morality and what is well and truly evil vs a consequence of natural processes

dates >:/ dates to the aquarium, midnight strolls, evenings out at the orchestra, vacations, dates at home where the muses cook together, watch movies, netflix and chill together, take baths and think about their lives, giggle over boxed wine or shots of moonshine

kaede getting to live his dream as a rock musician, classic guy meets guy

thread where everyone hits tethis with verbal low blows - he is not a good person

king keres, as the nightfather intended

muses getting srunk down to bug size and meeting the pygmy fey

[facewithoutheart]

WIP Tag Game

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Thanks for the tags @aristocratic-otter, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen & @imagineacoolusername plus anyone who’s participated because I can’t resist sending asks on these.

In case y’all didn’t know I’m a WIP slut. I can’t say no to starting a new fic. This game did force me to sort out some mess though… I will warn you some of these are duds lol.

Snowbaz

Bad Wolf aka Blue Lace (CW: noncon)

Bagatha

Blame It On The Spray sequel

Christmastreeville Remains

CORB-On Love’s Light Wings

cowfic

Dance Fic

Dev. 7 Devotion

EGF: Daddy Shirt

Football American AU

Hallmark AU: Snow For Christmas

Hurt Me Hurt Marta

I’m Coming Back For You

in after death

Indiana Snow

Natasha Revenge

Resort Christmas

Santa Baby

Dragon

Face paint

Lube Never Expires

My Merciful End

The Real Ending (is the one we write ourselves)

Two Roommates and a Baby

Wanting

Captive Prince (Lamen)

Rules of the Game

Wangxian

10 Things I Hate About Wuxian

Original Fiction

COTTA

Cozy Fantasy

Fake Dating AU

Missed Connections

Operation Crownfall

Space Enemies to Lovers

Tempest

Witcher AU

Would you believe me if I said this wasn’t all of them? 🙄😒

I legit cannot remember who has been tagged soooo tagging some peeps who I don’t think I’ve seen play?? @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @yellobb @yeonjunenby @martsonmars @ic3-que3n @johnwgrey @stitchyqueer @creepyspice

[between-thepages]

20 Questions for writers

I was tagged by @fishing4stars, thank you so much <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 124

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

42,394 words (which would be a little under 342 words per fic)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now mainly Silmarillion and Lord of the Rings, but I have written for The Witcher in the past, as well as some one-off drabbles and ficlets for smaller fandoms (I thought about Lewis today, maybe I'll add that to the list at some point)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Eating Love (Iorveth/Roche)

Plough the Lilies (Iorveth/Roche, nsfw)

In the Morning (Erestor/Glorfindel)

Dance to the Firelight (Iorveth/Roche, nsfw)

Mirror Image (Iorveth/Roche, nsfw)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always! It takes me anywhere between a few hours to a few weeks though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nothing beside remains, Iorveth/Isenrim, part of my Scoia'tael modern AU. I'm sorry I broke Iorveth's heart

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If you could read my mind, Anaire/Nerdanel in post YT Valinor

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far only from the one person known to stir up trouble in one of my fandoms

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! Everything I can see the appeal of is what I am open to writing

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I am not opposed to doing so in the future

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I am trying to translate some myself (I haven't gotten very far yet)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Last time I said Russingon, but upon further thought the only correct answer can be Erestor/Glorfindel. I found evidence that I started shipping them over seven years ago, which might actually make them one of my first gay ships

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There is a Hallmark movie-inspired Anaire/Nerdanel fic that I started last year (It's at a few hundred words right now) and while I still want to write all the Anaire/Nerdanel I can, I am not sure that one will ever see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can be short and to the point, which is one of the reasons I love drabbles.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot, the longer the worse I am. This and my inability to write a single word more than necessary is why I don't really write longfics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am so, so torn on this, considering I am among the people who dislike the overuse of elvish in fics. But I also just started a WIP that will require me to put dialogue in Sindarin, just for the desired effect of the reader understanding about as much as the main character. So I guess I am fine with it as long as there isn't a constant mix and match between English and foreign words, but rather whole sentences in one or the other)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first published was Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, I am not revealing any before that xD

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Grace, more Anaire/Nerdanel (also only 150 words), but I love how it turned out

(If I ever write longer stories from some of my drabbles, this one sits at the top of the list.)

Tagging whoever wants to do this, I am eight days late and really not on top of who already participated.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

A Good Deal

lets not talk about what day it was bogizens... 👀 this is part of the hallmark june weddings event we did in the bog!  

it’s also on ao3 here!

Warnings: insecure eskel, stressed triss, honestly its pretty fluffy., could be classified as mild emotional whump.

_____________

Triss was frantic when Eskel trudged up the stairs to the back door in the kitchen. He paused for a moment, leaning against the railing where he could just see her through the window in the door, box braids falling out of her loose bun, some sort of sauce smudged on her forehead, her arm muscles standing out and furiously beating the ever-loving shit out of whatever was in her bowl. Fuck, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. A little scary too, but that was his type.

“Afternoon, Gorgeous,” he called through the screen door, waiting for her to unlock it.

Instead of her normal ‘Afternoon, Handsome,’ he got a snappy, “If any bit of your clothing has been at the fire station, take it off out there. I just got the floors clean, and I don’t have time to do them again before the wedding.”

“If you wanted a striptease you could have just asked,” he chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head and kicking his boots off. All of him had just come from the station.

“Eskel, please,” her voice was about an octave higher than when he liked to hear those words normally, and the tightness at the end of her words made him worried.

“I’m clean, ish, can I come in?”

When she let him in she only gave him a quick peck before it was back to what Eskel could now see were egg whites.

“What’s wrong?”

That was apparently the wrong question. Triss dropped the bowl back onto the counter and braced herself against it, hanging her head. Her shoulders looked so tense Eskel thought the muscles might snap, “Fucking everything. Yen’s parents are getting in tomorrow and I only have the middle floor flipped because Annalee called in sick and Taylor is nowhere to be found, and I have to get this breakfast prepped because I have to make sure there’s food for the girls to eat while they get ready. Then I still have to call Jaskier and see when he’s bringing the cake and décor over and I have to run into the store to get the food for the next three days while they’re here and one of Yen’s aunt’s is allergic to everything under the fucking sun! Oh! And I also need to tell Jask to do everything last minute as far as the cake goes because I don’t have the fridge space and-and there’s still a goddamned molehill in the backyard where they’re having the ceremony and-“

Eskel wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing one hand over her sternum and one over her stomach, and held her tight while he whispered, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. Just take a minute to breathe for me?”

She took a shuddering deep breath and let it out as she rested her head back against his chest, brushing a stray braid out of her eyes, “…and I have a headache…”

“That,” Eskel mumbled, pausing to press a kiss to her forehead, “we can fix quickly.” He pulled them over to her medicine cabinet and handed her some ibuprofen and a large glass of water, also insisting she sit and eat something.

After a minute or two of Triss picking at some leftover pasta salad she groaned and shoved it away, “ and my mother called.”

“How’re Sheila and the dogs?”

“Fucking unbearable,” she grumbled, pitching her voice up and scrunching her nose to imitate her mother’s nasally voice, “ When are you settling down? I was so excited when you said wedding! Haven’t you hired an inn manager yet? Why do you still clean rooms? Did you read that diet book I sent you?”

Pushing her pasta back towards her after the last question, Eskel did his best to remain casual and calm, “I thought she hated me?”

“She hates all of my partners on principle, but you’ve made the top spot for ‘least hated’,” Triss shot him a little smirk as she aggressively stabbed some more pasta, “I told her I’m quite settled and we’re happy for now and to get her nose out of other people’s business- yes I see the irony .”

Eskel forced a bit of a laugh and tried not to bite his lip. He’d been thinking about this since Yen and Renfri’s engagement party. The way Triss looked at him while the couple gushed about how they were so excited to spend the rest of their lives together (and torment some relatives with making it official) had settled in the back of his mind and refused to leave. Every day, he flip-flopped on whether there was a little hope there or if she just thought it was sweet. And every day he berated himself for not bringing it up, but he had never even entertained the idea of marriage. Hell, his main relationship had been a friends-with-benefits arrangement with Geralt, and the few before that had been rocky at best. He wasn’t cut out to be a husband. Certainly not to someone so kind and gentle and fiercely loyal and sharp as Triss. What did he have to offer? A dangerous job and nasty burn scars for their wedding photos?

She must have sensed his hesitation and pushed her pasta over to him, “Eat. I need to keep cooking… and clean the top floor.”

He hooked an arm around her waist as she walked around the little kitchen island they sat at, pulling her close and stealing the keys out of her pocket, “I’ll go get groceries after I clean the top floor. Is the laundry started?”

“You’re too good to me, Teddy Bear,” she sighed, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Not good enough.”

She frowned, resting her palm over his jaw and searching his eyes, “We’ll come back to that when the inn is ready.”

As he stood, he stole a quick kiss and darted up the stairs, “You’re taking a nap when the inn is ready!”

-

It had all come together in the end. Triss even got some impressed looks and glowing reviews from Yennefer’s family when they arrived. The periwinkle went beautifully with the gardenia Triss had woven through the lattice around the backyard and Eskel had managed to make the moles disappear and patch the grass so even she couldn’t tell where they’d been.

Eskel watched Triss dart around the property, even after her job was done, making sure everyone was comfortable and everything ran smoothly for the girls and as much as he tried to push it down, he was just reminded of how she deserved so much more. More than a scarred, overweight firefighter with a killer therapy bill and a studio apartment that looked more like a hotel room than a home.

As he was watching the different couples swooping around the tiny courtyard dance floor, hands materialized on his shoulders, immediately digging in right where he held tension.

“Now it’s really over,” Triss whispered in his ear.

“Oh? Will you take that nap now?” Eskel shot her a grin over his shoulder as he covered one of her hands with his.

She smiled at him as if he’d said something adorably cute and inaccurate, “I’ll take a dance ?”

Standing up and spinning Triss once before pulling her close to his side, Eskel sighed, “I guess I’ll have to settle for that then.”

Giggling a tad bit deliriously, they made their way onto the dance floor and snuck into a space between the other couples. Eskel did his best to relax and stay in the moment. He took deep breaths and mentally listed little observations about his surroundings, most of which revolved around Triss, and he even tried to distract himself by making some rather suggestive advances, but no matter what he tried, he was still thinking about what she deserved and how it was everything he wasn’t.

Triss rested her hand on his cheek and gave him her trademarked wide-eyed worried look, “Are you alright? Is your knee acting up?”

“M’fine,” he lied, “Just the champagne.”

“Bullshit.”

He should have known she’d call him on it, even in the middle of a wedding she wouldn’t let him get away with anything. Just another reason he wasn’t good enough for her.

Glancing around nervously, Eskel whispered in her ear, “Can we do this later?”

“Absolutely not. You’ve been acting strange for weeks now and it’s making me crazy,” Triss tapped on the point of his chin firmly, calling his attention back to her as they swayed and stepped in a small circle like everyone else.

“Been making me crazy too…” he mumbled, only receiving a furious glare that urged him to continue, “You’re… Triss you’re perfect. I love you more than anything and anyone I’ve ever loved before…”

Tears welled in her eyes as Triss brought them to a standstill, gripping his arms for dear life, “But?”

Eskel couldn’t help tucking her long thin braids behind her ear and caressing her cheek, “But I don’t know why you’re with me. Every time this wedding gets brought up I think about how you deserve someone so much more… whole than I am. Someone who can give you what you want and who doesn’t have a horribly dangerous job and doesn’t look like the Pillsbury doughboy…”

“First off,” Triss started, almost growling as she dragged him off the dance floor and in through the back door to the kitchen, “I thought you were breaking up with me so please lead with what you’re nervous about next time,” Eskel followed, absolutely dumbfounded as he was sat down on a stool like he was in trouble with the principal, “Second, I find your extra weight sexy as hell- no arguments! That is my opinion and it is final . Third- and this one is important- you are the most thoughtful, caring, kind, and gentle person I have ever had the absolute pleasure to share a room with, let alone sleep with. I decided you’re what I wanted a long time ago. No one else has ever told me to take a nap before” she giggled, pausing to hold his face between her hands, “You don’t need to be anything other than you for me to be happy.”

She wiped a tear from his cheek with her knuckles, a fond smile playing on her lips as she drew him in, hugging him tightly so his head rested on her shoulder. His arms wrapped around her waist and squeezed like he was scared she might disappear if he didn’t hold her tight enough.

“Thank you,” He whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Triss whispered back, trailing her nails over his scalp and through his soft hair, “Anytime you need a reminder you tell me. Deal?”

Eskel sniffed and pulled himself back together, leaning back to give Triss a quick kiss, “Deal.”

[witchersgoldenbard]

So now you have to write the arranged royals AU. Have to.

guess i do 😔 it’s the law

[thestarminstrel]

masterlist for the blog babey

idk i kinda post a lot so figured i should make one of these

Commission Status: closed

Patreon | INPRNT | Ko-Fi

fence fanart | leodia fanart | fe3h fanart | my art

late night smooches [nichoji] | early morning kisses [eugesse] | FENCEchallenge 2023

Fic Art with @applesandbannas747

Attention (fic) (art) [eugesse] - completed

Ghost Seeker (fic) (art) [nichoji] - on-going

BNHA AU

Grace (fic) (art) [nichoji] - completed

In Your Nightmares, Find the Light (fic) (art) [eugesse] - completed

Calm (fic) (art) [juliad] - completed

Out of Time (fic) (art) [heckyle] - on-going

Residual Affection

Kitten (fic) (art) [nichoji] - completed

nichoji tag | eugesse tag | juliad tag [brief context: julian and chad are from striking distance and while i do not consider sd and disarmed canon, i will forever adore my hcs and thoughts on julian, chad, and brad lmao]

Fence AU Masterlist (click keep reading)

Aer: Memories of Old AU [nichoji]

Aerial Silks AU [eugesse]

Assassin AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Avian AU [nichoji]

BNHA AU [nichoji + eugesse + juliad]

Boxer AU [eugesse] *blame applesandbannas747.

Buzzfeed Unsolved AU *bfu au has some lovely fic from applesandbannas747 💛

Dance AU [nichoji]

Dryad AU [nichoji] *due for a rework!

Exton Timeline AU [nichoji]

Florist and Tattoo Artist AU [eugesse]

Genderbend AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Hallmark AU [eugesse] *updates on the holidays and the holidays alone lol

Hearts AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Howl AU [eugesse]

Ice Prince and Knight AU [nichoji]

Merman AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Monster AU [nichoji + eugesse] *i tag all of my supernatural/monster doodles with this tag so you'll see different flavors on monster aus

Monster Hunter AU [nichoji + eugesse] *mhau has fic from applesandbannas747! please go give him some love for them bc i adore them endlessly so

Ocean Waves AU [eugesse]

Pirate and Mer AU [nichoji]

PJO AU [nichoji + eugesse] *due for a rework!

Racing AU [nichoji]

Red String AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Skating AU [nichoji]

Skin Ink AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Soulmark AU [nichoji + eugesse]

Spider-Man AUs [nichoji + eugesse] *there are technically a bunch of these

Take on Me AU [eugesse]

Tangled AU [eugesse]

Tattoo AU

Twilight AU [haiden]

Wild West AU [nichoji]

Witcher AU [nichoji]

Vampire AU [nichoji]

[dear-ao3]

Do you have any fanfictions that you would recommend for the fandom(s) you are in right now?

so i have this dreadful habit of 1. never bookmarking anything and 2. always reading on ao3 when I'm not logged in. however. i have very talented friends and i can recommend the following:

these are all witcher fics

Dandelion's Gift by @officerjennie: geralt x dandelion, T, complete, 7.7k, soft husbands being soft

Warrior's Blues by @ahh-fxck: geralt x jaskier, E, WIP, 111k modern military au (mind the tags)

That Unwanted Animal by @softdarlingjaskier: eskel x jaskier, T, WIP, 8k, eskel takes care of jaskier

You're Safe With Me, I Promise by @funkylittlebard: geralt x eskel, E, complete, 10k, injured eskel, trans!geralt, sexy times (mind the tags)

He's Not Important by @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde: jaskier x valdo with past geralt x jaskier, E, complete, 1.5k, toxic relationships and jaskier is conflicted

Can't by grassylampshade: geralt x jaskier, T, complete, 5k, geralt tells harmless lies to jaskier about witcher biology and it gets out of hand

Dead I Live by @dapandapod: geralt x jaskier, E, WIP, 20k, jaskier dies and is resurrected by a necromancer (mind the tags)

Aflutter by @wolf-and-bard: geralt x jaskier, E, complete, 9.5k, fake dating and jaskier is rich.

A Sight For Soft Eyes by @kuripon: geralt x jaskier, G, complete, 500 words, geralt gets glasses and jaskier helps him clean them

The Apple Of My Eye by @professorjaskier: geralt x jaskier, G, WIP, 72k, modern au where geralt and jaskier are both teachers (mind the tags)

Young Corpses Will Always Haunt Me by @unremarkablegirl: yennefer, T, complete, 1k, yennefer's thoughts and feelings about the beach scene in 1x04 with the dead child

I Shiver In Gold by @kueble: geralt x jaskier, E, complete, 3k, jaskier wears lingerie and he and geralt have fun

Christmas Downhill by @avengeful-bunny: geralt x jaskier, T, complete, 66k, a fake dating, christmas, modern au based off of hallmark movies

All I Ever Wanted by @jaskierswolf: geralt x dandelion, G, complete, 750 words, geralt and dandelion retire to corvo bianco together

Biting Snake Isn't Better Than Knife In Your Back by @damatris: geralt x jaskier, M, complete, 280k, slow burn, geralt and jaskier go through some things but in the end they have each other (mind the tags)

All You Have Is Your Fire by @king-finnigan: geralt x jaskier, E, complete, 65k, a modern prison au turned flower shop au with a slowburn (mind the tags)

Tell Me About The Light Behind My Eyes by @natskier: geralt x jaskier, M, WIP, 40k, after the mountain yennefer asks jaskier to come to kaer morhen as ciri's emotional support bard

The Road Not Taken by me @all-hail-the-witcher: geralt x eskel, E, complete, 3k, modern au where geralt left town to become a country singer and in a moment of weakness he returns

[inexplicifics]

*remembers I had a witcher hallmark au idea once and the discord convo that followed*

Hey, did anything come of your hallmark Yule fic idea? Is it still in the works?

It is giving me guff. I think I need to go back several paragraphs and see if it wants to go in a different direction. Fewer side characters, perhaps.

[limerental]

limerental's ficletvember 2021 masterlist

this year I wrote a ficlet per day for all of november! I wrote 26k total of varying pairings and povs, some serious and some ridiculous and had a very good time doing it. some may later be posted on ao3, we shall see. mind warnings in individual posts.

day 1 - jaskier ft. mouse pov

day 2 - yengilla holding hands

day 3 - geraskier mcd

day 4 - yennskier arm candy

day 5 - yennskier first time

day 6 - yennefer/vesemir/jaskier modern au

day 7 - geralt & ciri post s1

day 8 - yennefer & ciri, sequel to day 7

day 9 - lambert & eskel modern au of loud thunder

day 10 - aroace geralt from neighbors au ft. yennskier

day 11 - yennefer & geralt, background dick in a jar yennskier

day 12 - geralt & jaskier, background dick in a jar yennskier

day 13 - yenskel Christmas farmer's market au

day 14 - lambert & ciri trauma bonding

day 15 - geraskier centaur!geralt sex prep shenanigans

day 16 - ciri & mistletoe & varying pairings in corvo bianco

day 17 - yenralt modern au with new foster kid ciri

day 18 - yennefer & game!eskel meets twn!eskel

day 19 yennskier warlord!yennefer a/b/o

day 20 - geraskefer deaged jaskier

day 21 - yenralt frankenstein au

day 22 - geraskier modern au ft. pedicures

day 23 - geralt & roach exploration

day 24 - yennaia post-sodden at aretuza

day 25 - geraskier equestrian modern au

day 26 - yenralt tis the damn season modern au

day 27 - yenralt hallmark Christmas movie cliche

day 28 - geralt gardening in retirement ft. yenralt

day 29 - witcher!yen, mage!jaskier, druid! geralt role reversal

day 30 - geralt vague reincarnation

[mikkeneko]

mdzs meme: What would Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Wen Ning be in a Witcher AU? (and anyone else you want to bring in!)

Ohh, a complicated one XD

Well, keeping in mind that I only know The Witcher universe through the show and games, and haven’t read the books... I’ll have to let out Wei Wuxian as a Witcher himself, he’s simply too fragile. He’d make a great sorcerer, though! The guy sorcerers don’t usually have to go through the whole “sacrifice a bodily organ to achieve immortality slash eternal beauty” but I feel like for whatever reason, in Wei Wuxian’s case, he sure had to sacrifice something. Whatever it was left him physically weaker (a lung perhaps?) but leaking Chaos out the ears, and he had to develop an entire new school of sorcery just to manage it. He didn’t officially  get kicked out of Ban Ard, mostly because the rest of the wizards there were afraid he’d turn on them and tear the tower down if they did, but he doesn’t interact with them much any more; he spends most of his time traveling the Continent in disguise as a wandering vagrant -- a bard, perhaps? Always happy to trade a song on his flute for a meal or a warm place to stay for the night, and if those kind to travelers find their homes mysteriously warded against danger in the months afterwards, those unkind to travelers may never be found at all.

Lan Wangji, in contrast, makes a great Witcher. He’s already got the eyes, the physical strength, and the attunement to sensory input that makes talking at the human level difficult. I’m thinking perhaps School of the Gryphon for him; the dedication to righteous codes of conduct is his hallmark more so than animal-like traits. He goes around night-hunting and killing monsters. A very straightforward approach to life.

Wen Ning... Hm, Wen Ning is a tricky one. I don’t think he’s on the Witcher/Mutant or Sorcerer spectrum at all. Rather, the Continent seems to be stuffed to the gills with old folk religions dedicated to local deities of varying levels of power and unpleasantness. I think Wen Ning ran afoul of one of those. His village is a small one, and not very prosperous; weak and sickly Wen Ning only survived to adulthood in the first place thanks to his sister the doctor. One year, though, the village’s luck was especially bad and he got tagged to be a sacrifice to the local Power. Whatever the ritual to sacrifice him was, it got interrupted -- probably by Wei Wuxian -- who felt bad for the poor boy and used Chaos to stuff his soul back into his body, and ended up with what can only be described as an undead monstrosity. But a polite one!

[here4theheartbreak]

Park Jimin Masterlist

Key - be aware that this key is only a vague indicator of content, read any warnings on fics you intend to read.

🍭 - Fluff only - G or T; may include some innuendo/suggestiveness but nothing graphic.

🔥 - Smut - Explicit fics; includes graphic adult content

💔 - Angst - Ratings vary, has some level of drama/sadness/upset

😂 - Crackfic - Ratings vary, primarily humorous

📚 - Series/Chapter - Denotes a chapter fic, does not speak to content

Jimin x Namjoon (Minjoon)

🍭 Moonlight - The life of a prince is great, Namjoon can have everything he wants. Except Park Jimin. (fluff, royal au, prince!Namjoon, pauper!Jimin)

🍭Pawprints - Jimin wants a pet, Namjoon says no. Then fate strikes. (fluff, slice of life, injured animals (happy ending))

🔥 Good Boy - Jimin tries his hardest to be good, he just needs a little praise. (PWP, light D/s, praise kink, dirty talk) 

🍭Spring Fever - Spring fever is a real thing, and Jimin’s really sick of it. (fluff, domestic au, getting together)

🔥 A Dancer's Flexibility - Namjoon’s distracted, and Jimin wants attention. (pwp, standing sex)

🍭Summoning Friendship - Jimin’s tired of being alone. So he summons a demon. What could go wrong? (fluff, demon au)

Seokjin x Jimin (Jinmin)

🔥 Perfect - Jimin and Jin sneak away from filming for some alone time. (PWP, belly bulge, praise kink)

🔥 Unwrap Your Present - Jimin gives Jin another chance to unwrap his birthday present when fans aren’t watching. (PWP, panties, dirty talk, rough sex, light bondage, birthday sex) 

🔥 💔 Shared Souls & Snake Scales - Jimin worries he’ll never find his soulmate. It’s rarer and rarer in today’s world. So when his soulmate mark appears without him ever having knowingly touched someone, confusion abounds. (soulmate au, tentacle monster, demigod) 

🔥💔 Silent Night, Scales & Fights - Jimin decides that Christmas is the perfect time for his family to meet his soulmate. The only problem? His abusive father. Sequel to Shared Souls & Snake Scales. (tentacle monster, soulmate au, Naga Jin, tentacle monster Jin, child abuse, homophobia, minor character death, double penetration, tentacle sex, belly bulge, cum inflation)

📚🔥💔 All I Want for Christmas is You (& a Ticket Out of Here) - Seokjin returns to his small hometown after a decade, hoping for a Hallmark holiday romance. He learns he didn’t have to go so far from home for it. (Angst, Fluff, Holidays, Homophobia, Hallmark Trope, Angst with a Happy Endings, Past Relationships, Past Bullying, Chapter Fic, Smut, Rough, Dirty Talk)

Jimin x Yoongi (Yoonmin)

🔥 Stubborn - Jimin is being stubborn today, Yoongi knows just how to fix it. (PWP, light D/s, rough sex, dirty talk)

💔 Promise - Jimin has some trouble dealing with things in his life. Yoongi is there to support him. (angst, self-harm, eating disorder, trigger warnings, hurt/comfort, getting together) 

🍭 New Kid - Hogwarts has a new student. Of course, rumors abound. (Hogwarts AU, no smut, fluff, getting together, bullying)

🔥Birthday Surprise - Jimin decides to surprise Yoongi for his birthday, but gives Yoongi more than they bargained for. (pwp, cockwarming, dirty talk, under-negotiated kink)

🔥💔 The Hand of Fate - On Jimin’s 18th birthday, he’s given to a cruel king via the Law of Surprise. But the tides of Fate may yet turn in his favor… (Smut, The Witcher inspired au, royalty au, arranged marriage, angst with a happy ending, Physical, Verbal, Mental Abuse, Slavery, Starvation, Humiliation, Degradation, Cruelty, Blood, Gore, Violence, Implied/Referenced Incest, Attempted Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape, Monsters, Minor Character Death)

🔥Maid in Hollywood - It’s 2014 K-Con and Yoongi has a surprise for his boyfriend. (pwp, hybrid au, dirty talk, maid outfit, rough sex, tail pulling, dirty talk, panties, heels, makeshift anal plugs)

🔥 Afternoon Naps - Jimin finds out his boyfriend’s biggest secret, and reveals his own biggest kink. They realize that this can benefit both of them. (Smut, Consensual Somnophilia, Vampires, Dirty Talk, Biting/Blood Drinking, Sleeping Medication, Consensual Necrophilia (Technically), Temporary Character Death)

Hoseok x Jimin (Jihope)

🔥 Lucky Hope - Hoseok is in Los Angeles filming his music video. Jimin is missing him. (pwp, puppy play, dirty talk)

🔥 💔Kisses in the Graveyard - Jimin has been having the same nightmare since he was thirteen. But what if it’s not just in his head? (demon au, smut, angst with a happy ending, bottom!Jimin, virgin!Jimin)

Jimin x Taehyung (Vmin)

🔥 💔 📚 Paint the Roses White - Jimin’s life sucks. He’s miserable, beat down, and tired. That is, until a mysterious boy with purple hair and a dangerous smile slides into his life and turns it upside down. The White Queen is ruling and drinks are on the house in the Hat Trick Lounge. Caterpillar is missing and the Prince of Hearts is ready for a war, if only he could figure out where his damn rabbit ran off to again… collaboration with @i-live-so-i-love (Alice in Wonderland AU, multichapter, angst, child abuse, war, politics, smut, drug use, alcohol, homophobia, shape shifters, happy ending)

🍭Skating Into Love - Jimin isn’t exactly excited to go to the costume contest as the back end of a centaur. But it might be his lucky night. (domestic au, fluff, pre-slash)

🔥 Afternoon’s Sunshowers - Taehyung had been warned to stay away from humans, but this one was just so fascinating. (PWP, Strangers to Lovers, Fantasy Creatures AU, Dryad AU, Tentacles (Vine Tentacles), Outdoor Sex)

🍭 Inane & Anonymous - Jimin is the subject of anonymous online hate. Taehyung learns why it affects Jimin so deeply. (Slice of Life, Light Angst, Coming Out, Anonymous/Online Hate, Twitter Hate, Nonbinary Character, Gender Dysphoria)

Jimin x Jungkook (Jikook)

🔥 Mutual - Jimin suggests mutual masturbation. It goes a little further than planned. (PWP, no penetrative sex, handjobs, dirty talk)

🍭Espresso-ly for You - The new coffeeshop in town has a brew-tiful barista. He just doesn’t know it. (fluff, getting together, coffee shop AU)

🍭Rainstorm - Jimin’s had just about enough of Big Hit’s golden maknae. (fluff, getting together) 

🔥 Different - Jimin hates Alphas. But unfortunately - sometimes they’re useful… And fortunately, sometimes they’re different. (ABO au, knotting, watersports)

🔥 Wolf Boy - Jimin has a very specific kink. Jungkook decides tonight’s the night to oblige him. (pwp, werewolf au, rough sex, sex with a sentient animal, sex in shifted form, consensual sex, knotting, begging, overstimulation)

🔥 Thighday Morning - “Yesterday Jimin and I were drinking and playing around. I picked him up and swirled him and he got dizzy, so he bit me.” (PWP, Intercrural Sex, Thigh Kink, Alcohol, Non-Penetrative Sex)

💔 Falling - Everything was empty. Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. (Angst, Post-Breakup, Fighting, Idolverse, Closeted Character, Alcohol Use, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

🔥 Morning’s Sound - It’s Jimin’s birthday and Jungkook’s gift is his biggest fantasy. (PWP, Sounding, Omorashi, Watersports)

Jimin x Others

🍭Snakes on Ice (Jimin x Taemin) - It’s the first day of winter and Jimin and Taemin’s friends are determined to get them out and about. The only problem? Snakes hate the cold. (fluff, nagas)

🔥 Creature of the Night (Jimin x Taemin) - Jimin’s cousin steals a box from their neighbor. Their very attractive, very sexually adventurous neighbor. (Meet Cute, Sex Toys, Anal Gaping, Anal Play, Bad Dragon, Dirty Talk, Anal Training, Neighbor AU)

Jimin x Reader

🔥 Isn’t Nature Beautiful? (F Reader) - You and Jimin go for a walk on his day off, but all he seems to have eyes for is the trees.(PWP, public sex, jealous reader)

Maknae Line Members Only

🔥 Naked Yoga (Jimin x Jungkook x Taehyung) - Jungkook is just trying to do his yoga and relax a little. But it’s his birthday and Jimin and Taehyung have other ideas. (PWP, spitroasting, ass to mouth, dirty talk, rough sex, face fucking) 

Hyung + Maknae Line Members

Jimin x Taehyung x Hyung

🔥 Detention (Jimin x Namjoon x Taehyung) - Jimin and Taehyung are stuck in detention for a very particular reason. (pwp, teacher/student roleplay, dirty talk, namecalling, rough sex)

🔥 Properly Chastised (Hoseok x Jimin x Taehyung) - Taehyung realizes that he really likes to be spanked. No way can his boyfriends find out. They would most definitely use it against him. (pwp, dirty talk, spanking, light D/s, comeplay, rough sex) 

Jimin x Jungkook x Hyung

🍭 Muscle Paws (Jimin x Jungkook x Yoongi) - They say cats choose their owners, and that seemed to be the truth for the cute tabby that hopped into Yoongi and Jimin’s open window one morning. Except that specific cat… Wasn’t quite normal. (fluff, shapeshifter!JK) 

💔🔥 An Inconvenient Attachment (Jimin x Jungkook x Yoongi) - When Yoongi agreed to go on a two week winter getaway to the mountains with his roommates, he expected peace, quiet, and plenty of alone time with his roommate with benefits Jungkook. What he did not expect was to be handcuffed to his worst enemy for the duration of the trip. He figured it couldn’t get worse… Until it did. (snowed in, handcuffed together, friends with benefits, polyamory, past violence, past murder, past abuse, discussion of murder, semi-graphic descriptions of violence, blood drinking)

Jimin x Hyung x Hyung

🔥 Naughty (Jimin x Namjoon x Seokjin) - Jimin and Jin are being naughty. Namjoon knows just what to do. (PWP, dirty talk, D/s, spanking, rough sex) 

🔥 Silent Love (Jimin x Namjoon x Seokjin) - Namjoon got new toys for his boyfriends. He can’t wait to hear their silence. (pwp, gags, dirty talk, deepthroating, choking, rough sex, aftercare, D/s)

🔥 Ready (Jimin x Namjoon x Yoongi) - Jimin is finally ready to give a special part of himself to his boyfriends. They do their best to make it special. (pwp, dirty talk, multiple orgasms)

🍭 Love is Not Over (Jimin x Seokjin x Yoongi) - Yoongi has decided that love isn’t worth it after a particularly nasty divorce. Even if his daughter’s kindergarten teacher is fucking adorable. He’s married anyway, and Yoongi sure as hell isn’t a home wrecker. (fluff, parent au)

🔥 Heaven in Your Arms (Hoseok x Jimin x Yoongi) - Jimin’s always had a crush on Hoseok and Yoongi. They’ll never notice. Until they do. (pwp, getting together)

4 Members

🔥 Gotta Go (Hoseok x Jimin x Jungkook x Yoongi) - Jimin has never had to go so bad n his life. Unfortunately his boyfriends have other plans. (pwp, dirty talk, no sex, desperation, Omorashi, watersports, light D/s dynamics, voyeurism) 

😂 Either Or (Jimin x Jungkook x Taehyung x Yoongi) - “Are they fighting or fucking?” Namjoon asked. Tae and JK aren’t sure they want to know the answer. (fluff, humor, sex as a humorous tool, asexual Taehyung, nonbinary Jungkook)

🔥 Mouthy (Jimin x Seokjin x Taehyung x Yoongi) - Jin’s been mouthy this week. His boyfriends wanna fix that. (pwp, rough sex, face fucking, face slapping, D/s)

🔥 Three Times as Much (Jimin x Jungkook x Seokjin x Taehyung) - Jin needs a little punishment. His boyfriends are happy to oblige. (pwp, dirty talk, rough sex, ass to mouth, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, crying during sex, forced orgasms, light bondage, double penetration, triple penetration, aftercare)

🔥 💔 📚 Tasting Starlight (Jimin x Minho x Taehyung x Taemin) - Minho has been in love with his best friend since forever. But Taemin was determined to be unattached… Until suddenly he wasn’t. Taehyung spent his entire life pining after happiness with his best friend, only to have it ripped away when Jimin finds someone else. The rational response? Hatch a plan to make their respective crushes jealous. The part where they fell in love with each other, however, wasn’t part of the plan. (actor au, chapter fic, fake dating, smut, fluff)

🔥 Lazy Dog Mornings (Hoseok x Jimin x Jungkook x Taehyung) - Taehyung brings Jimin to spend a lazy Saturday with Hoseok and Jungkook for a puppy play date. (PWP, puppy play, dirty talk, rough sex, knotting cock rings, discussion of breeding, D/s relationship)

[witchersgoldenbard]

😌✊ for him and only him!! @logicalgoth

No but seriously, I know I am the world‘s slowest updater (is the ADHD y’all) but Our Broken Hearts is of course still on my mind and in my Docs. @dapandapod is my witness — as are her distressed noises upon reading the draft of chapter 4 😂

[ao3feed-geralt-jaskier]

by wherethewordsare

“So, what’s this big urgent thing you need to talk to me about?” His father asked gruffly. Geralt closed his eyes and see him in his office, feet up on his desk, avoiding his paperwork by finally calling his son.

“I need to borrow the cabin.” Geralt blurted. He looked up at the fridge where a picture of Jaskier and Ciri hung, grinning back at him over candied apples. He had almost done it right after taking that picture but he already had this planned. Well mostly.

“When? This weekend? So suddenly?” Vesemir was smiling. He was going to drag this out as long as it kept Geralt’s feet to the fire.

“Dad…”

“Does he know?”

Words: 3287, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Marriage Proposal, eager geralt, Hand Jobs, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Established Relationship, What The Fuck Are Tags, Engagement, cheesy fluff, hallmark style au, Event Fic, Mentioned Vesemir (The Witcher), snark as a love language, "bastard" affectionate, geralt says "sweetheart"

[demisexualgeralt]

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m filling my first @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo square for “proposal”. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m allowed to be as sappy as I want.

Prompt: Proposal

Title : All’s Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You)

Relationships (romantic/platonic/etc): Geraskier

Rating: T

Content Warnings: some strong language

Summary: As is typical for Geralt on Valentine’s Day, everything is going wrong. Jaskier steps in to make things better. As is typical when Jaskier’s involved, things get worse before they get better. Fluffy Modern AU Valentine’s Day hijinks.

--

Of all the days to be late, Geralt knew this was one of the worst.

In his defense, he hadn’t expected there to be a deep freeze on Valentine’s Day, or that his piece of shit car would refuse to start. He hadn’t expected Lambert to not be able to make it to help him because he was “on a date, you stupid fuck.”

So now, he was sitting in his apartment, waiting for Eskel to come jump his car, after texting Jaskier that he wouldn’t be able to make his show after all. Jaskier didn’t sound upset in his text back, but he also knew Jaskier was probably just saving his earful for when they were together in person.

The real irony was, Geralt hated Valentine’s Day. It was so much easier to just order takeout on his own and hide out until it passed. It had always worked for his and Jaskier’s relationship too. Jaskier always found more joy in buying half price candy the day after and laughing at stupid, too fluffy Hallmark cards together. Besides, Valentine’s was a work day for him. Lots of  money to be made playing in clubs for loose-walleted singles, taking requests for anniversaries or proposals. 

But Jaskier had been weirdly excited about this show and whined more than usual about Geralt being there, so he had busted his ass to not have any work, even though it was a Friday night, and had even made sure his jacket didn’t have any holes or loose strings in it, despite everything. But his car wasn’t getting fixed before the show was over, and Jaskier had told him to just wait at home and they would do their usual thing tomorrow.

Eskel got there about nine, and, because of the cold, it took about twice as long to finally hear the stilted rumble of the motor. 

“Can’t say how long it’ll last,” Eskel muttered, stepping out of his car, “But it’s something.”

“Thanks,” Geralt said, clasping his arm. “I owe you one.”

“You owe me more than one,” he said, lips quirking up, “But I think I’ll save my favor for another night.” He tilted his head over to the right and Geralt turned his head.

“Thank you for saving my boyfriend, Eskel,” Jaskier chattered, holding his gloved hands up to his mouth. “We would be truly lost without you.”

“You know where to find me when you get sick of his shit,” he answered, laughing while Geralt glowered.

“Oh, darling,” Jaskier said, throwing his arms around Geralt’s neck. “You know my heart is yours.” He pecked Geralt’s lips quickly. “Now, get me inside before I turn into an ice statue.”

“Are you sure? Could be a nice touch outside.”

Jaskier glared. “Inside. Now. I don’t love you enough to freeze to death for you.”

Geralt chuckled and waved to Eskel before bringing them both inside. “Thought you would be out until later.”

Jaskier shrugged. “My set ended at 11. Didn’t have anything to stay around for, and I knew you were at home waiting for me.”

“Hmm. Awfully sappy of you.”

“Fuck you,” Jaskier said, without any real bite,”This is what I get for being romantic on Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes,” Geralt answered bluntly, pressing a kiss to his forehead as Jaskier scoffed and moved away.

As he did, a small noise caught his attention, something hitting the floor. He bent to pick it up, ignoring as Jaskier flailed in the background and tried to grab at his hand.

“Geralt, give it here, no need to look at that-”

“It’s a ring.”

Jaskier sighed and sat on the couch, face in his hands. “Yes, it’s a ring.”

Geralt stared at it in his open palm. It was silver, very simple, nothing like what Jaskier would usually wear. “Did someone give it to you? Is that why you didn’t want me to see it?”

Jaskier peeked out at him. “What?”

Geralt shrugged. “I mean...it would probably look weird if someone else gave you a ring on Valentine’s Day…”

“Geralt. I bought the ring.”

“Oh,” Geralt said, looking at it closely. “Why?”

Jaskier stood and clasped Geralt’s hands in his. “Geralt,” he said slowly, the way he talked to Roach sometimes, “Why would I buy a ring on Valentine’s Day?”

“Because...it looked nice.”

Jaskier pulled his hands away. “Oh for the love of- Geralt, it’s for you!”

“...you bought me a ring?”

Jaskier’s face screwed up as he took the ring and placed it between their palms. “Geralt. You know I love you so, so much. But you can be so dense sometimes.”

He took the ring and knelt by Geralt’s feet, and he felt his face flush in a way he knew Jaskier would tease him forever for. “...what?”

“Geralt. I was going to do this before my show, but since destiny sees fit to change our plans again...marry me? I had a whole speech, but the cold, and the...everything seems to have erased all that and honestly, Geralt, I’m rambling and you look like I broke you so please say something-”

“Really?”

Jaskier’s face softened. “Yes, really. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m- I hate going out. And I always say your shows are too loud. And I work weird hours, and hate Valentine’s Day and-”

Jaskier stood and held his cheeks. “Why do you think I proposed on Valentine’s Day? Because I knew you hated it and knew you wouldn’t expect it. I know all of these things about you. Honestly, we’ve known each other for years. I know you, love. And if you don’t want this...it’s okay. I’m happy with what we have. But-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’m...saying yes, Jaskier.”

A small smile grew. “Yeah? You’re saying yes you’ll…”

“You know.”

“I wanna hear you say it,” Jaskier said, a small smile growing over his face. 

“Jaskier-”

“Pleeeeeease?”

Geralt huffed. “Yes. I’ll...marry you.”

Jaskier whooped and kissed him, hard, Geralt’s hands going around his waist. He felt Jaskier pull away to slip the ring onto his finger.

“It looks good.”

Geralt glanced down at his hand. The silver was nondescript, plain against his pale skin. But it already felt as comfortable as the medallion around his neck. He looked up at Jaskier’s smiling face and smiled in turn. “Yeah. It does.”