#ITS JUST SO FUNNY for the longest time i felt crazy when everyone kept talking abt them being roommates prior to tbob

[gayford]

on the topic of fidds n ford being college roommates, i feel insane that because fidds had always been described as "college buddy" and classmate, for the longest time i assumed they were just classmates turned friends that maybe ended up rooming later. the tbob reveal that they were roommates from the beginning surprised me

[for-fucks-sake-h]

La Paloma

A/N: A story in which Harry’s cocky talk is about the only thing he can lay on thick. Otherwise known as the realistic sex blurb! In the midst of a lot of smut on this website (myself included) I wanted to do something a little different than “sex god Harry Styles” and show a side of sex that is actually real and common and I think... funny! Thank you to my girls @oh-honey-styles​ @andwhenshesays​ @real-work-of-art​ @haute-romance-quotidienne​ for always encouraging the madness. Happy reading! x 

Word Count: 3.8k || Rated: M (mature), for implied smut, shit talking and a floppy disappointment! 

“Can’t wait to get you home,” he murmured in your ear, his warm breath sending a chill down your neck despite yourself.  

You were surrounded by people, who if they overheard anything he had whispered in your ear, you would have been mortified. Warmth spread to your cheeks as you lifted your shoulder to urge his face away from yours, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as his toned, pink, silk covered front pressed closer to your side.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ sexy.” His palm made its ridiculously slow course of direction from your opposite shoulder, all the way down your spine, until he could grip your hip tightly to keep you close.  You could smell the tequila oozing from his pores, one (or three) too many La Paloma’s if had any sense of it. “Have I told you that tonight?”

“You did tell me,” you confirmed quietly, turning your head to look at him. “A few times, actually.”  

“Tell ya again,” he urged quickly, his hand squeezing your hip once more. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.” His voice was slow, the alcohol coating his throat into a subtle rasp. “Never wanted anyone more than you.”  

He was persistent, if anything. And horny. He made that abundantly clear as his intricately patterned hips ticked forward, his groin pressed tightly against the top of your thigh. He crowded every inch of your space, a few random twists of his hair tickling your temple, the silk of his shirt tickling your skin entirely too softly, the subtle hardness of his undeniably impressive length ready and waiting for you.  If you had let him, he would have snuck you into a closet, an earshot away from your distant relatives that attended your cousin's wedding alongside you.  

Your blood boiled with it though; that need, the utter desire you felt deep in your belly.  You almost gave in, almost let him lead you away, almost risked the embarrassment of being the subject of your family's gossip when someone undoubtedly caught you. You didn’t, clearly, what with the way the last hour had been a torturous form of foreplay.  

“H,” you warned, glancing behind him with a timid smile as one of your uncles approached the other end of the bar.  

You were standing just off to the side, in a tiny little nook that had no business being large enough to fit both your bodies. You weren’t even sure how you got there, your mind fuzzy from both your drinks and your boyfriend.  But there you were, listening to the deep timbre of his voice recite, in detail, what he planned to do once he got you alone.  

“What? I can’t love on you?” he faked innocence.  

You laughed softly. “You can if you keep it PG.”   

“Guess that depends,” he pondered with a slow drawl, “does making you come on my face fall under the PG category?”

A dramaticized roll of your eyes had him playfully giggling against your cheek. “Definitely not,” you sighed with a smile.  

“No can do then.”  

“Harry--”  

“Y’drive me crazy, you know that?”

“Feelings mutual,” you chuckled dryly.  

“The worst part... is that I know exactly what’s waiting for me.” His voice lowered, his lips just barely skimming over the corner of your jaw, warm breath caressing your skin once more. “I know you’re wet, and it’s fucking killing me.”  

You were wet, uncomfortably so, and this man did nothing to quell it. If anything, he went out of his way to intensify it. You didn’t miss the way his fingers toyed with his bottom lip periodically throughout the evening, or the way he walked dick first back to you from retrieving drinks in perfectly tailored pants, or that his hands always found purchase on you somewhere; your thigh during the ceremony, your shoulder throughout speeches, the small of your back as he slow danced with you. He kept you close at all times, the warmth of his palm searing into your skin at any given moment.  

You downed the mouthful left in your glass as a distraction, his hooded eyes burning a hole in your face as he watched, his thumb toying with the material of your dress.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, love,” he rasped. “Sinking into you.” He somehow felt closer. “Feeling you clench down on me the way you do.” His hand squeezed your hip. “Hearing you moan my name.” He swallowed harshly, Adam’s apple bobbing out of the corner of your eye. “Watching you come…” he exhaled. “It’s so fucking good.”

There was a moan sitting at the bottom of your throat, begging to escape with every passing word.

“You always feel so good. I just want you on me, wanna be so deep I can’t breathe. It’s like… heaven.”

“Take me home,” you murmured breathlessly.

***

“I want you so bad.”  The whine slipped up your throat, passing Harry’s lips where they were pressed to the delicate skin of your neck.  

When you gave him the green light to leave the reception, you’d never seen him move faster - giving his well wishes and goodbye kisses to everyone that mattered at warped speed. His affection didn’t let up in the car, a warm palm dipping entirely too far between your legs in the back of that town car for you to focus on anything but him.

You both had stumbled through the house as best you could, tugging each other's clothes off on the way, until you were in your bedroom, hands caressing the silk of his broad shoulders as he pulled you closer. His skin was warm against yours, tingles coursing through your veins at his touch. You could hear his panting breath just as much as you could feel it fanning out over your skin between the burning kisses his mouth left behind.  

“That was the longest wedding I’ve ever been to,” he murmured barely audibly as he followed your careless guide towards the bed. “Felt like I was going to explode.”    

Your chuckle was soft as the backs of your legs met the edge of the bed, keeping a tight hold on him as you both fell onto the soft pillow top. He was heavily pressing you into the mattress, quickly slotting himself between your thighs. You pulled him in by the back of his neck, your mouth finding his with a deep kiss, the tiny bit of stubble on his face a stark contrast to the soft skin of his neck.  

He pressed his hips into yours roughly, practically grinding against your core.  The hardness you felt against your hip at the wedding had subsided, the car ride home seemingly giving him time to calm down. But now you wanted him.  

“I’m so wet,” you whispered, eager to feel him after so much build up throughout the night.  

He pulled back just so, a dimple barely forming into his cheek. “Can feel that,” he slurred, the words forming together in one drawn out breath.  

You leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of his puffy mouth, your lips finding their way down his jaw and neck. His hand smoothed down your thigh, squeezing roughly as he pulsed his hips against yours once more. His lips barely made contact with your skin, light kisses being pressed to your chest and neck. He was right there, not even half hard against the apex of your thigh. 

Harry enjoyed himself at the wedding - had his fair share of drinks. You both did, a delightful buzz coursing through your veins as well. You and your boyfriend were very similar that way, equally handsy and eager to be alone once you hit a certain point. It’s more fun being tipsy and horny when you’re in love with each other.  

“You okay?” you asked softly at his ear, feeling his shaky breath against the side of your neck.  

“Mhm,” he hummed, pressing a sloppy kiss to your clammy skin.  “Just give me a minute…” his words trailed off as he pushed himself up on one hand while the other slipped around his cock, giving himself a few slow strokes. And it was a sight to see; watching him play with himself right between your thighs, his stomach clenching both from his position and his hand.  

You couldn’t help yourself from reaching down to brush your knuckles over his hand as a signal to let you wrap your fingers around his cock instead. He happily obliged, choosing to kiss along your cheek and neck once more. You found a slow rhythm with a subtle twist of your wrist just as your mouth sucked a soft kiss from the side of his neck, just below his ear. But something that would normally have him hard in a few strokes, wasn’t doing the trick - three strokes coming and going, going, going, his cock steadily limp in your hand.  

He was breathing heavily against your collar bone as you gave him a few more pumps. His Paloma’s definitely seemed to be inhibiting him now, his tip brushing against your center over and over without so much as a glimmering twitch.  

A frustrated huff came from his pink lips.  “I don’t know what’s going on.”  

“Baby,” you eased as you pulled your hand away. “It’s probably the alcohol.”  

He wordlessly pushed himself up onto his wobbly knees, gripping himself once more as he looked down, a deep furrow dented between his brows. Two more useless strokes and brushing his tip against your core once more had him accepting defeat, falling onto the bed beside you with a disappointed grunt.  “Can still make you feel good,” he mumbled as he scooted the tiniest bit closer to your side.  

He smoothed his hand down your stomach and between your legs, only to brush his fingers just to the left of your clit. You shifted your hips slightly to get him on the right track, trying to help him find his way to where you needed him. And he did, momentarily, until he was too distracted as he tried to kiss your neck, moving off your clit once more.  

You sighed heavily as you turned your head to look at him, which only gave him false encouragement.  

“S’good, yeah?” he asked softly, his lashes blinking heavily back at you.  

You hummed through an extremely soft chuckle as you slowly turned your body towards his, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his face as his hand fell from between your thighs. “Sort of lost it, babe.”

“What? Nooo,” he whined. “Wanna make you feel good.” The pout on his lips was so evident that it almost made you smile, strong arms wrapping around you to pull you close.  His forehead knocked against yours, a soft chuckle coming from his lips as he pushed his weight into you more. “Wanna make you come,” he murmured as he clumsily crawled over you, pressing wet kisses onto the skin of your chest.  His tongue smoothed over your nipple, a zap of pleasure crawling down your spine at the sensation of his teeth scraping against your sensitive skin.  

You weaved your hands into his hair as his lips smoothed down the center of your sternum, his face pressing softly into your stomach. You shifted beneath him as his arms wrapped around your waist, his mouth lazily pressing kisses to your stomach as his weight pressed you into the mattress further.  

“H,” you murmured with a scratch to his head.

“Hm?”

You lifted your head to look down at him as he nuzzled into your skin. “Are you falling asleep?”

“Wha? No…”

“Harry,” you sighed. “Come here.”  You pulled on his arms in an attempt to bring him further up the mattress. He groggily responded, pushing himself up your body until he was laying beside you, arms wrapping around you and legs tangling with yours.  

“M’sorry, love. Can’t keep my eyes open.”  

“Sh, it’s okay.”  

He squeezed you tighter as he tucked his face into your neck, your chin resting on the top of his head. “Promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”  

Sleep overcame him immediately, a content sigh falling from his lips before soft snores were escaping his open mouth. It was as endearing as it was annoying. After all that build up, all his shit talking, it was almost comical now. Or at the very least, you had to laugh, because otherwise you would cry of sexual frustration.

So you laid there, willing your mind to settle enough to fall asleep - all while Harry blissfully snored, his body radiating even more heat against your already too warm skin.

***

Was there anything worse than being woken up by a charley horse in your calf? In the grand scheme of the world? Yes. But in that exact moment? When shooting pain stabbed through your leg like a worn down razor blade?  No, there was nothing worse.  A night of drinking everything but water would do that do you though.  

You whined as you shot up from your pillow, whimpering as you attempted to massage the sore muscle, curling and uncurling your toes, breathing heavily as the cramp twisted tighter.

“God damn it,” you cursed quietly as you rubbed your fingers into the tense muscle, releasing a slow breath when the pain finally started to subside.  

And if that wasn’t bad enough, your boyfriend snored peacefully beside you, completely unaware of your turmoil as he cuddled a spare pillow close to his chest.  Was it his fault that you had a charley horse? Obviously not… but somehow you felt like it should be. Especially when you looked over at him drooling on his pillow, back muscles fully on display, hair a mess, puffy mouth hanging open - beautifully infuriating, all at once.    

So before you took your pillow and smothered him with it, you got out of bed, slowly easing onto the traitor leg before nakedly trudging to the bathroom for a shower.  He was in the exact same position when you returned with wet hair and fresh skin, and when you returned an hour and a half later with a neatly folded basket of laundry, he was still in the same position.  You were half tempted to hover your face in front of his mouth, make sure he was still breathing, just when a hiccuped snore escaped him as he wrapped himself around the pillow more.

You padded over to his side of the bed quietly, taking in the long lashes spread across the tops of his cheeks and the hair that was matted between his temple and the pillow, before carefully reaching out to stroke the backs of your fingers across his clammy cheek.  His skin was soft despite the impossible heat, pungently sweating out the last remnants of alcohol coursing through his system.  

There was a part of you that wanted to wake him up, mostly because you missed him (you were supposed to spend the day together) and partly because you couldn’t possibly forget what went on the night before. You would be lying if you said it didn’t linger in the back of your mind all morning, the reminder making itself present as soon as the water touched your skin in the shower, a surprising similarity to his touch - burning hot and completely encompassing.  

But you loved him, so with a huff and a roll of your eyes, you left him there to snooze away.

It was nearly dinner time before you heard the ensuite shower turn on from where you were perched in an oversized dark leather chair in the living room.  You stayed put, wrapped in a blanket with your Kindle and a cup of tea when he finally appeared in a pair of athletic shorts and a Kendrick Lamar hoodie with the word DAMN. written across the chest, hair still damp and sticking up in every direction.    

“Good afternoon,” you greeted, receiving a subtle look over his shoulder.  

“What’s so good about it?”

Your eyebrows rose as you peered at the back of his head while he filled his water jug from the fridge.  

“Wow,” you chuckled softly, entertained by his pouty face. “I mean, you’ve been relaxing in bed all day while I folded all your underwear. Sounds pretty good to me,” you shrugged.  

“Feel like shit,” he shook his head as he made his way towards you, plopping down on the sofa with a loud sigh.  

“Well, yeah, nine Paloma’s will do that to you.”  

“Didn’t have nine,” he grumbled before he chugged nearly his entire jug of water.  

“I was being gracious, babe. Think you had more than nine,” you laughed.  

He shot you a dirty look before his lips twitched with a small smile.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”  

“Fine?” he scoffed, eyebrows high on his forehead. “Would have thought more than fine, love.”

“Why’s that?” you laughed.  

“Y’know,” he smirked, a smug look crossing his face as he playfully raised his eyebrows a few times.    

You furrowed your brows in confusion, watching as your boyfriend gave you a tenacious look of pride.  

“Uh,” you chuckled. “I don’t know.”  

“Last night?” He looked at you expectantly. “When we got home? Was good, yeah?”  

You snorted a laugh, suddenly realizing that he wasn’t joking judging by the cross look on his face, brows furrowed deeply.  

“When you passed out on me?”  

His confused blink had you laughing again, watching as he seemingly tried to piece together the pieces of your non-existent rendezvous.  

“Didn't pass out on you,” he argued.

“Ya did, baby.”  

His bottom lip pouted out just barely as he contemplated your words, eyelashes blinking softly. “Well shit,” he huffed dramatically. “Musta dreamt it.”

You barked one loud, singular laugh. “Glad dream me got some at least.”  

His laugh was infectious and heart felt, his eyes crinkling endearingly.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” you roll your eyes, unable to keep the smile off your face.

“I would make it up to you now but I’m afraid I’ll throw up in your mouth.”  

“That’s so hot,” you deadpanned. “Don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you.”  

He smiled timidly, a faint blush crawling across his cheeks ever so slightly. Before he could say anything else, you started to stand up from your blanket cocoon. “Well, not-laid me is going to make some dinner while you… I don’t know, do whatever you’re gonna do with this,” you waved your hand in front of him, motioning to his hungover state.  

He didn’t follow you, even though you half expected him to, and when you returned only 25 minutes later, he was fast asleep on the couch with your abandoned blanket draped over him.  

You released a sigh, accepting that the day was gone by that point, and went back to the kitchen to eat alone.  You cleaned up once you were finished and quietly put the leftovers in the fridge while Harry slept on the sofa before you poured yourself a glass of wine and headed upstairs.  

It wasn't until you were settled in the tub for a bit, topping off another dose of hot water as the bubbles slowly disintegrated around you that the door to the ensuite slowly started to open.  He looked like a puppy that had gotten into a trash can, tail between his legs and a guilty look on his face.  

“Good nap?” you asked as you sunk into the hot water again before tilting your head back to finish off your wine.  

He didn’t say anything from where he stood leaning against the door, watching you with his temple propped on the woods edge.  You glanced over when a few silent beats passed, eyes meeting his gradually.  You didn’t say anything, didn’t offer anything else up, but that seemed to jumpstart him enough to push himself off the door and actually enter the bathroom, heading straight for the vanity to wordlessly brush his teeth.    

You focused on the hot water as it eased your sore muscles rather than the sound of Harry gargling a couple feet away. And once he was finished, he appeared beside you, crouched down next to the freestanding tub, elbows propped on the ledge for balance while his disheveled hair and the look on his face tugged on your heart strings.  

“Sorry I’ve been useless today,” he spoke softly, a subtle frown pulling at the corners of his mouth.  

“It’s okay,” you eased. “You’ll have other days off.”  

“I know, but still.”  Full days off for him were few and far between as of late. “Promised you the day. And promised you other things too apparently... haven’t held up my end at all.”  

“H,” you sighed. “It’s fine, really.”  

You knew your boyfriend, you knew that he was hard on himself sometimes. Pair that with his ego being a bit bruised and you had the perfect recipe for a pity party, which judging by his face, he already arrived at the party long ago.  

“You can make it up to me another day,” you added softly, lifting your hand from the water to smooth down the outside of his misshaped eyebrow.  

He caught your hand before it dropped back into the water and pressed his mouth to the inside of your wrist. “I love you.”  His words were spoken against your skin, his eyes closed as he pressed another kiss to the same spot.  

“I love you too.”  

He released your wrist in favor of cupping your cheek, the warmth from your bath evident beneath his thumb when he stroked it against the apple while the rest of his fingers softly rested against your neck.  

His lips were warm and minty when they met yours, the softest slip of his tongue making your skin tingle with goosebumps.  

“Well…” his hand slowly trailed down your neck to cup your shoulder, your bicep, your elbow. “I can make some of it up to you now.”  

His voice lowered minutely, taking on the tone that made the depths of your stomach twist delightfully.  

“Thought you felt like barfing?” you asked as you stretched your arms up over your head, your chest extending out of the water as beads of bubbles cascaded down your breasts.    

“Feel better now.” His response was quick, immediate, eager. You didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed down your body, his hand caressing the back of your arm softly.    

You shrugged. “Maybe later.”  

Your eyes didn’t leave his when you extended your foot out of the tub to press on the bottom of the faucet's handle, effectively pushing it up and all the way over to the left to fill the tub with some burning hot water for the third time that evening.  

“I charge interest, yanno.” An expectant raise of your brow accentuated your words.     

A subtle smirk tugged on his lips - he knew exactly what you meant; the eager glint in his eye, the soft flutter of his lashes. It looked eerily similar to his expressions throughout the wedding, as if he was imaging all the ways he could devour you if you’d just let him. All the ways he could pay you back, how many times he could make it up to you.  

A bit of waiting never hurt anyone. If anything, it made it sweeter in the end.  

***

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts! xo 

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[honeyoongiah]

Crushes

Pairings: Jungkook x reader 

Genre: fuckboy!au, smut 

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: alcohol, explicit sex

A/N: Yay the first AU I’m posting on here! I’m excited and hope you’ll enjoy (:

You took a big sip of your drink and tried to think straight. Did you imagine that or did Jungkook really just look over to you?

Jungkook was your crush for many years but unfortunately it was his habit to just fuck girls on parties and not waste a second on you. He was one of the most popular boys in the university, which he definitely used for himself.

Jungkook's brown strands fell into his eyes and each time he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked really good in those tight black pants and the dark red shirt. You licked your lips and looked down. Unfortunately, you never really got over your crush.

Because even though you knew he was a fuckboy, he was a very handsome and intelligent guy. He was also funny and good at using his words. You sighed as you caught yourself thinking about him again.

It was also hard not to think about Jungkook if he watched you for the past 20 minutes. But that couldn't be true. You thought you just had a few drinks too much and that was all wishful thinking.

You tugged at your skirt and searched the room for your friends who had left you alone for a while. But they were already busy with their own guys.

It was really hot in your friend's house, which was due to the many people here. Everyone laughed, danced to the loud booming music and drank as much as they could.

Totally lost in thought you didn't realize how Jungkook had stood next to you and grinned cheeky. "Hello you." 

"H-hello?", you stuttered after you winced. He laughed slightly and leaned against the dresser as you did. "Alone here?"

"With my friends.", you answered curtly and shifted your weight from one foot to the other. He made you nervous and he enjoyed it, you could see that.

"I didn't know you knew who I am.", you said honestly in his direction. You wouldn't have dared if you were sober. Jungkook laughed again and your heart stopped for a moment. "Of course I know you. It would be too bad if not."

"Well if you say so.", you just mumbled and returned to your vodka with orange juice. You were not a big fan of alcohol but that tasted good. His closeness drove you crazy, but he didn't look like he wanted to leave soon.

You did not know if you should be happy or wanted him to disappear. "Won't you take a girl up to the bedrooms this time? Why are you wasting your time here?"

Jungkook's eyes widened, but he relaxed quickly and became the typically self-confident boy. "I don't waste my time talking to you."

You looked incredulously into his beautiful brown eyes. You have never been so close to each other. "You never talked to me before."

"And that was my mistake."

You frowned, it all felt weird. Were you his new prey for today?

And if so, did you want that?

The thought of disappearing with Jungkook and being alone drove the blush into your cheeks.

The mood between you changed as he leaned down to you and his lips gently touched your ear. "Do you want me to go?"

"No.", it shot out of you. You couldn't even try to sound normal, your desires answered for you before you could fight back. "Then I won't go, at least not without you baby.", he said and smiled, dangerously close to you.

Your knees were shaking. You knew that was your only chance to ever be close to him. If you rejected him now, he wouldn't try again. Even if it was a one-time thing for him and you knew that, you couldn't resist.

More minutes of flirtations and touch followed and slowly you felt that you were growing impatient. You've been wanting to sleep with Jungkook for so long that those minutes felt like an eternity.

When you sat down together on the couch, he put his hand on your knee and continued talking to the others calmly. You starred at his fingers and dreamed what he could do with them.

Slowly you felt his hand stroking higher up to your thigh, where he grabbed it a little more harshly. You suppressed a squeal so no one would notice, but nobody really paid attention to you.

As he drew small circles on the inside of your leg, he put his other arm around you and you could feel his breath on your cheek. You smelled alcohol but also the beguiling perfume he used.

You felt dizzy from his presence. "I thought we could go somewhere quieter, what do you say?"

Forbidden and yet so good, the bittersweet taste that Jungkook brought with him.

In response, you turned your head in his direction and lay your lips greedily on his. He responded immediately and pushed you deeper into the couch, his lips moving rhythmically against yours.

"Eager, I see.", he whispered against your lips as he broke away from you. He got up and gave you his hand, helped you up and pulled you out of the apartment, leaving the party.

Confused, you tried to stop him. "Where are we going?"

"To my place. Do you think I would fuck someone like you so shabby at a party? You deserve more.", he explained without stopping or looking at you. You got warm and you smiled at his words.

Why did he treat you differently?

When you arrived at his apartment, Jungkook didn't let a minute pass without brushing his hands over your body. He closed the door with a kick backwards while your fingers were buried deep in his hair.

Jungkook intensified the kiss as he ran his tongue over your lips and you gave him entrance. Both of you gave a satisfied sigh and he pushed you backwards to press your body against the wall in the living room.

On your way you had knocked over some things and not even turned on the light, but that wasn't necessary and you didn't care.

"Jungkook...", it escaped you as his lips wandered over your neck and sucked on sensitive areas. "Yes baby moan for me.", Jungkook groaned and pulled your shirt over your head. "Make me.", You answered, grinning to him.

First he looked surprised by your comment, but he smirked right after. "Oh I will. You will scream my name I promise."

His hand went over your thighs and between your legs until he touched your wet panties and you gasped immediately.

Jungkook didn't have to do much to make you horny since you wanted him for the longest time anyway.

He pushed the piece of clothing aside and made circling motions for a few seconds before he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them, not taking his eyes off yours.

He made you shiver with his gaze. "You taste so good, I've waited so long for this.", he mumbled and you frowned, but had no time to think about his words.

He knelt in front of you and took off your slip, but kept the skirt on.

He looked up at you and licked his lips at the sight of you in your black bra and skirt. "Sorry but your outfit is so hot, you have to keep it on for a while princess."

He kissed his way up until you could feel his tongue for the first time and try to find some support against the wall. Immediately you moaned and put a hand on his head, played with his hair and didn't take his eyes off him.

Jungkook also looked up at you, he didn't want to miss a second of how your face showed the pleasure he gave you. You felt the knot in your stomach growing stronger and your moans got louder. "Oh my god Jungkook-"

"Not yet baby. You won't come until I tell you to, understood?", he asked and you could still feel his breath on your wetness which gave you goosebumps.

His grip on your hips got tighter, so you brought yourself to answer him with a nod. "Good girl."

Gently he pushed your legs apart to give him some more space and without a warning he pushed his finger inside you.

You gasped and your head fell back, the pleasure too much to handle. "J-jungkook I don't think I can-"

Right after you heard him praising "You've been such a good girl, you can let go now. Come for me.", you came around his fingers and tongue, his name on your lips.

He let you ride out your high before kissing your stomach and breasts while getting up again. As soon as you could, you grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him.

You wanted to taste him as much as you could and as long as you could. The alcohol made you forget that he won't talk to you after tomorrow morning, but your longing showed that it slumbered somewhere in your brain.

Jungkook pressed his body against yours again and you could feel the bulge in his pants. You let your hand slide over it teasingly, watching him closing his eyes to enjoying the little loss of friction.

"You want me that much?", you asked with a little smile on your lips, your eyes finding its way from his dick to his eyes again.

"What do you think you're doing here babygirl?", he asked back and pinned your hands over your head, there was no chance you could escape his grip.

"I play this game, not you.", he clarified and you nodded. "Whatever you want Jungkook, I'm yours."

A little gasp escaped his body, your words turned him on even more.

"You're mine?"

He let go of your wrists and you placed your hand on his cheek.

"I never wanted someone else.", you answered honestly. There was no one you admired as much as Jungkook. He wasn't just your crush, you fell in love with him long ago. And you wanted to fuck him.

You began to kiss his neck, slowly unbuttoning his shirt before he stripped it off.

Your fingertips explored his chest together with your lips. Jungkook went with it, enjoying your touch too much to play the dominant right now.

There was another atmosphere in the room since you said those words. It felt more intimate, you took more time to explore and look at each other.

After he pulled off his pants and your skirt and bra, Jungkook grabbed your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He pushed you off the wall and carried you to his bedroom, placing you on his lap.

You took a moment to let your eyes check out the room and you surprisingly liked his home a lot.

The attention was brought to Jungkook again when he swirled his tongue around your nipples and his thick bulge pressed against your core.

His boxer was already soaked by now, but he watched that with pleasure. "You asked me if I want you that much but now you're the one ruining my clothes?", he smirked and you buried your face in his neck.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be honey. I want you too and it's hot when you're a mess like this for me.", he whispered while he stroked your sides. His touch felt hot on your body and yet made you shiver in a good way.

Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders when you longed for a deep kiss again, which Jungkook accepted with much pleasure. He loved your lips on his.

You smelled and tasted so good, he was afraid to get addicted. "Do you want to ride me honey?"

"Yes I want to ride you, be close to you.", you mumbled against him and he nodded, pulling his boxer away.

"Come here.", he said and positioned you so his dick was right at your entrance.

You let yourself fall and both of you moaned at the feeling. "Shit you're so tight.", he groaned, but you didn't really hear him. He stretched you out so much that you needed a second to get used to it.

He let you took your time before you started to move around him. His hands were on you the entire time, sometimes buried in your soft brown hair, sometimes around your waist pulling you closer to his chest.

"Do you do this with every girl?", you asked suddenly, not knowing why and not really wanting to have an answer. "No, I never let them ride me. I usually don't see their faces, but I want to see yours.", he said with a soft voice and smiled.

Your nails were digging into his shoulders but he didn't complain because he loved how you were enjoying this. He was too.

Suddenly you could feel how Jungkook thrusted into you and you breathed heavily. His dick hit all the right spots and you were clinging onto his torso at this point, not moving yourself.

You began to clench around him, your second release starting to build up. He groaned at you getting even tighter, feeling his own high coming soon too.

Your lips were crashing against his, tongues playing with each other while his hands were on your hips, holding you in place so he could thrust into you hard.

"You look so beautiful with my dick in you. So perfect when you moan my name.", he praised you and kissed your shoulder before burying his face in your hair. "From now on you're mine. I won't let you go."

With a loud moan of his name you came around him, trying to normalize your breathing again. Jungkooks high came with yours while he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

He helped your slightly shaking body to lay down on his bed and wrapped his blanket around you before taking you in his arms. "You're so good to me.", you whispered and he placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Before you ask - no other girl stays in my bed after sex. You're the only one. You wanna know why?"

You nodded slowly, looking up to him from his chest. "Because you're different. You're special to me."

"B-but why? You never talked to me before."

"I'm sure you won't believe me, but it's because I was afraid you would turn me down. So I watched you from afar and had all these girls but I really just wanted to talk to you.", he admitted and you couldn't believe what he just said.

At this point you believed you were drunk, already sleeping and this was a dream. "I liked you since middle school Jungkook.", you chuckled and he let out a sigh. "I wish my middle school me would've known."

He turned his body to you and looked you in the eyes. "I'm serious. I know you may not believe me but I like you. I really do. This isn't just a one night stand thing for me. I wasn't even planning to sleep with you, but it's the only way of communicating that I know."

You smiled at him and nodded. You believed him. There wouldn't be a reason for him to lie, he already slept with you. And his warm brown eyes were telling you that he meant it.

He kissed you deeply and you snuggled against his body, the feeling of skin on skin holding you warm.

Slowly both of you drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face, knowing that tomorrow you'll wake up together.

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Series Reviews (2020)

4. Itaewon Class

Follow your heart and be yourself. A life without regrets regardless of consequences. Everything is all about timing. When you get the timing right, all is well.

This drama has taught me so much. Right now, I am in a state where just like Yi-Seo, I don't know what I want and wondering if life is really worth living.

It is truly great to feel acknowledge by someone. Saeroyi kept that in mind and always do it to his employees. He is a true leader by being with them and helping each other. I didn't know Park Seo Joon can have this inspiring aside from being handsome and funny in romantic comedy dramas. He can also be a role model and inspiring actor. It's nice to know that there are  dramas like this who want to inspire everyone to believe in the power of their dreams and desire. The only bad thing (for me) about this is that some desire was ignite with revenge. It's not a healthy way of living to be honest.

Being fueled by anger and wanting to take revenge is not healthy to someone but by Saeroyi's case, that ignition of avenging his father's death made him stronger in a good way. He wanted to make his father's dream come true as well but also want to people who make his life miserable pay for what they've done.

Itaewon Class is truly an amazing drama to watch. It will surely give you lessons in life that you eventually want to do.

They also have interesting set of cast. All have different stories to tell and I think their stories also make it more inspiring to watch.

I want to talk about Chairman Jang first. His power and manipulation really irritates me at first. He said he build Jangga Co. for his family but I guess he did not. He build it for himself. For his pride and status. He lived his early years being poor and having to be at other people mercy so when he got the chance to have power, he easily grabbed it and never let go.

He's just like everybody else. Afraid to be powerless. Also, even though he want to look like a manipulator who doesn't have a heart, he still want warmth. He's human anyway.

To the actor who portray Chairman Jang, I knew him in another drama, I was shocked when I first saw him because his role in the other drama which he started in was way different from his role here.

If you watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and remembered his father. Here he is now. He's not a walnut and a battered husband anymore. He's the Chairman and a cunning strong tiger.

I wanted to get angry with him but I can still see the father of Do Bong Soon. He was a great father there and even though this was a different role, I still see him as a softie. I get irritated by him.

After Chairman Jang, let's move on to his sons. The Jang Brothers.

First off, the legitimate one. Jang Geun-won. The black sheep heir. The trouble maker and good for nothing son. He's the reason why the whole revenge thing happen. It's all because of him. And if not because of him, there wouldn't be any story. So, even though he's a pain, he is also the main reason we have this drama. Let's give him that credit.

Jang Geun-won also has this habit of being undeniable stupid for some reason in this drama. He cant stand up for himself and always hide in his father's back. But behind all of that, he is just a son who clearly doesn't know what to do with his life. Ever since he was young, he was entitled to be the next chairman of their company. Everything was easy for him so when shit occurs, he doesn't know what to do.

He was like a lost child. I feel sorry for him. And all those years, all he wants was Oh Soo-ah to notice him even for a bit. Even if he was the next chairman and all the attention was on him, the attention from a specific he needed the most was not given to him. So, he acted crazy.

Why do we have to accept the love we think we deserve and not the love given to us? Or simply, why do we like someone who doesn't like us back? Poor Jang Geun-won. You'll get your happy ending. But first, be good.

After the elder one, next is the baby brother. Baby half brother. Jang Geun-soo. Yi-Seo's pushover but turned cunning and irritating antagonist.

He was cute really. Until he wanted to take over Jangga Co. Okay, he wanted Yi-Seo but all the things he did just to make her like him. That is not the way to make a girl fall in love dude! How can you make her yours if you're destroying her?

He's smart, I'll give him that but he's also stupid for doing such things.

 How can someone be trustworthy end up betraying you?

Jang Geun-soo wanted to be loved just like his brother and just like him, he acted crazy. I feel sad for this father and sons.

Okay, so up next is Oh Soo-ah. The competent and beautiful Oh Soo-ah. The 15-year love of Saeroyi.

She is competent. But her values in life is want irritates me. She doesn't want to end up like Mr. Park (dad of Saeroyi) so she studied hard and eventually because successful by entering the company who destroyed the life of someone she cherish.

At first it was a slick move. Maybe she has something in her sleeves. Maybe she'll get revenge. But no. In the end, she was used to be torture Saeroyi.

She was manipulated because all she wanted was a relax life. She was an orphan. She wanted to live a life where she can never feel being sympathize again.

Also being confident about Saeroyi's feelings for her was a little annoying. She knew about his feelings but always took it for granted and when she had the chance to say hers, it was too late.

Soo-ah just wanted to stop her life of misery. She just wants to be happy but now, the only person who she want to be happy with no longer feel the way he felt before.

Timing is everything.

This review is getting longer than I thought and I still want to include all the members here. My mind is in fire right now. I think this is the longest review I've done. I dont think anyone would read this shit post. Hahahaha! It's so long! But, hey. It's my blog anyway.

Soooooo!

Let's move on to the main cast!

Itaewon Class or IC Co is the company name of DanBam. DanBam is a pub located at Itaewon. A place in Korea where you can see the world. Different nationalities are gathered in Itaewon.

I should be saying this to the beginning but anyway! DanBam consist of 5 employees turned into shareholders. 4 of them are now shareholders and of course, the fifth member is Saeroyi himself. He's the CEO.

Let's talk about Toni. The foreign looking dude who happened to end up working to DanBam while looking for his korean father. I was surprised to see an african guy in a korean drama not that I don't expected but it was surprising and he was so fluent in hangul. I was in awe.

I can say Toni was the type of guy with compassion and sensitivity. For a foreign looking guy to claim hes korean was brave of him. No one can tell you who and what you are. You are the one who thinks of yourself. You know yourself better than others.

Wow. I should tell that to myself.

Next is Seung-Woo, the hard headed, oldie, classic style Seung-kwon.

He is literally hard headed because at some scene, he was hit by a bottle of bear but I guess it didn't hurt him. He looks old and his moves are waaaay funny but what I like about him is that even though he was from a bad past, he left that all behind him and started a new life with Saeroyi. He was also inspired by what he said and wanted to live just like him. He devoted his life for him. Having someone loyal like him will make you at ease all the time. Even if he sometimes annoy you.

He can be really annoying but when you need him to cheer you up, he'll be there.

Ma Hyun-Yi. You all know her right? Do you also know Seon Ok from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Book Joo? Yup. It is her. The mighty Seon Ok. She changed her career from weightlifting to cooking. Hahahaha! Just kidding.

I knew Seon Ok will be a very promising actress after WFKBJ. I was also waiting for this break for her.

She portray a very special role. Stating that you should not be afraid to be who you are. You don't also need to explain yourself to others or get their approval.

Just like what Saeroyi's principles, follow your heart and be yourself.

Hyun-yi became true to herself and end up being happy and successful by the way.

After that, we now got the most powerful woman in Itaewon. The one who made a small pub became big. Featured in one of the businesswomen in Forbes Magazine. The one and only, Jo Yi-Seo.

Who would have the thought? The crazy party girl would be a most competent businesswomen in Korea at the age of 24? Yup. I think it can happen in real life 

Anyways, Yi-Seo. She's like someone I want to be. Full of confidence. Smart and slightly cunning and determined. At the first part of the drama, I can see myself to her. Literally. The words she said and how she felt about living.

And the everything changed. When she met him.

I don't want to think that I really need to meet a certain someone to be really determined in life but...maybe...maybe I needed that. But how? I don't want to go out of my room. Hahahaha.

Anyway, Yi-seo was on the verge of giving up then he met Saeroyi. Her life changed as she wanted to help him. Not going to college and working at the age of 20 was like the greatest decision she made (and she never regret it).

Again. Timing is everything.

Yi-seo was right on time when Saeroyi needed someone the most.

She love him with all her heart and willing to help him even if he likes somebody else. If its not love then I don't know anymore. And I felt sad to know that she want to be competent for Saeroyi to need him. She badly needed to become someone he needed so she can stay with him. She don't want to leave him.

They say that behind every man success is a competent and understandable woman. And that is Yi-seo. She's the woman in Saeroyi's success. And if her feelings still don't reach him, she will do everything she can to reach him.

You see, Itaewon Class is not an ordinary korean drama. Some of you might liked Crash Landing on You. I recommend you watch this drama too. You'll never regret.

[servinglemonade]

The Mandalorian Season 2 Review

BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE MANDALORIAN SEASON 1 AND 2

Hi everyone, it has been a while since The Mandalorian finished up its second season, and to be honest, I kind of miss waking up at 9 AM on Friday to watch this show. Now, I loved season 1 and have watched it multiple times already. I was so excited for season 2 and to see more of Mando/Din and The Child and where their story would go. I never would have thought season 2 would go the way that it did. It was incredible and even better than I thought it would be. This Is The Way. Keep on reading to find out my opinions for every episode this season!

And again, beware... SPOILERS AHEAD

Chapter 9: The Marshal (dir. Jon Favreau)

I enjoyed the first episode back in the world of The Mandalorian. The first thing I noticed about this episode was the run time. Its a 54 minute episode, the longest we have gotten so far. I liked that it was so long, since we had been waiting on the second season for about a year and the episode overall was enjoyable. Being back on Tatooine was great since it is one of my favorite planets in the Star Wars universe. I liked seeing more of the Tusken Raiders and loved that battle scene with the krayt dragon. One thing I loved from that was the change in aspect ratio! When the krayt dragon opened its mouth, the ratio changed to IMAX/full screen. That was amazing and such a good choice for it. It just made it more cinematic. And of course, who can forget that Boba Fett tease at the very end of the episode! Fun fact, I never really liked/enjoyed Boba Fett. In the Original Trilogy, he does not do much, he is just kind of there and then ‘dies’. So I never really got the hype. But, oh, I am going to talk about Boba Fett later. In conclusion, chapter 9 was a nice episode. 

Favorite moments: Mando taking out the krayt dragon like a BOSS, Mando talking with the Tusken Raiders in their language, The Child in his little pouch on Mando’s speeder bike with his ears flapping in the wind.

Overall: 7.5/10

Chapter 10: The Passenger (dir. Peyton Reed)

This episode was more of a side quest but hey, if it is nice, I do not mind. This is a fun episode but those spiders at the end... They just reminded me of those spiders in Rebels season 2/3 and I HATED those things. However, the action scene was very thrilling. I loved the beginning of the episode, where some guys try to take The Child from Din and he tricks them. The Child running into his arms again and Din messing with the guy that took his jetpack was great. The episode mostly takes place on this ice/snow planet, which I always enjoy in anything Star Wars! This episode also introduced us to Frog Lady, who was a nice addition to the gang.

Favorite moments: Din fixing the Razor Crest and then telling The Child he should help him and the final action scene. 

Overall: 7.5/10

Chapter 11: The Heiress (dir. Bryce Dallas Howard)

This episode felt like a Clone Wars or Rebels episode and I LOVED IT!!! This was so good. I was quite surprised to see Bo-Katan show up here, she was great and I enjoyed seeing her in live-action. The action scenes, on the boat and on that imperial ship, were especially incredible and really well done, so props to Bryce! There was also an important storyline here regarding Mando and his Creed vs. other Mandalorians. Since we know Bo-Katan and other Mandalorians keep removing their helmet and Din never does, I wondered why. This finally gets adressed here and I loved seeing it unfold and how this storyline kept unfolding as the season went on. And of course, at the end of the episode, we got THE ASHOKA TANO NAME DROP! Confirming that we would be seeing her this season. I am a huge Ahsoka fan and she has become one of my favorite Star Wars characters, so I was excited to say the least.

Favorite moments: Mando crash landing the Razor Crest in the water, Frog Lady reuniting with her husband, Bo-Katan, and Mando telling The Child to stop playing with his food

Overall: 8.5/10

Chapter 12: The Siege (dir. Carl Weathers)

But before we see Ahsoka, a little detour. However, a short, sweet, and fun detour, directed by none other than Greef Karga himself! Yes, this episode saw the return of season one’s Greef Karga, Cara Dune, and the Mythrol (the blue guy from season 1). Nonetheless, the star of the episode was The Child with his blue cookies haha. The beginning of the episode was so funny with Din trying to tell The Child were to put the wires in and then them eating together. Din even showed a little bit of his face, with The Child trying to take a peek, so adorable. Additionally, I really liked being back on Nevarro and seeing how Greef Karga and Cara cleaned up the town. Once again, the action here was fantastic and Carl Weathers did a great job. The final action scene was amazing and showed how great of a pilot Din is. In this episode, I also really felt the bond between Din and The Child and how much it has grown over time! OMG, almost forgot... We learn more about Moff Gideon wanted with The Child, he used his blood and the midi-chlorians to create what looked like clones?! Crazy, AND they put a tracker on the Razor Crest, which got me very anxious about the next episode.

Favorite moments: The Child and the wires (aka me in Among Us), The Child in school and stealing blue space macarons, and the trio from season 1 back together and kicking ass

Overall: 8.5/10

Chapter 13: The Jedi (dir. Dave Filoni)

This was magical. Purely magical. Dave Filoni... Oh my goodness, what a legend. He understands Star Wars in a way no else but George Lucas does. From the action, to the samurai and western infleunces, to the emotion, everything was perfect. So, in this episode Din finally finds Ahsoka Tano, one of the few Jedi that are left. The episode wastes no time to introduce Ahsoka. Her entrance in the forest was amazing, the way she uses the force and her lightsabers, just ugh, amazing. Now, I really like Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka but it took some getting used to since Ahsoka originally is an animated character. However, she looked great here. I loved the scene where Ahsoka was communicating with The Child through the force and we learn his backstory!! His name is Grogu and was trained at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant by many masters and was hidden during Order 66. The way we learned all of this was so natural and I really did not see it coming. It was great. I really like the name Grogu, it fits him haha. The little training session with Grogu was fantastic and showed how much Din cares about Grogu. Ahsoka tells Din she cannot train Grogu because of his attachements and how that can lead him to the dark side. She even references Anakin!!!!!! Omg, the feels. Mando and Ahsoka team up to fight the Magistrate of the town and this fight was fantastic. Manda and Ahsoka are both so cool and have some great moments. Then, when we thought this episode could not get any better, Ahsoka teases what is to come as she name drops GRAND ADMIRAL THRAWN!! Now, if you have not watched Rebels, this might mean nothing to you. But I gasped so loud when she said it, good stuff is coming for the Ahsoka show!!!! When Mando had to say goodbye to Grogu, I thought no... They are not going to do it, are they?! But Ahsoka sticks to her gut and says she cannot train Grogu. Instead, she sends them to the remants of an ancient Jedi temple where Grogu can choose his path. And so Mando, Grogu, and Ahsoka part ways. I just loved this episode. Also a special shout-out to Ludwig Göransson’s score. He has been fantastic for season 1 and 2, but the score at the very end of this episode, just captured the magic and beauty of this one. He is so talented! 

Favorite moments: all of Ahsoka’s action scenes, Ahsoka vs. Mando, Din learning Grogu’s name and he keeps saying it, the Trawn name drop, Ahsoka referencing Anakin, and Din and Ahsoka traing Grogu

Overall: 9.5/10

Chapter 14: The Tragedy (dir. Robert Rodriguez)

This was a short but action packed episode, oh my goodness. It just kept going at some point, which was very thrilling to watch. This episode saw the return of Boba Fett and Fennec Shand, which was surprising. Now, like I said, I have never been a fan of Boba Fett. However, we was a badass in this episode with some very cool moments! I also loved that in the bts of season 2 Temuera Morrison talked about how he brought in some of his Maori traditions into Boba’s fighting style, which was very awesome to see. Okay, back to the rest of the episode. So, it starts out with Mando messing with Grogu and his name a little bit on the Razor Crest. He actually laughed, which is something we had not seen yet. He then trained with him for a bit and told him how proud he was of him and how he is special... Sooo soft! So then, they get to the seeing stone and of course Mando is an actual rookie and has no clue what any of this Jedi stuff (as he calls it) means, which is understandable of course. But I just thought it was very funny to watch. Boba and Fennec show up, a lot of Stromtroopers show up, and they have to fight their way out of that nasty situation. It was really cool!! All of them had awesome moments.  Then, when everything has calmed down a bit, Moff Gideon’s dark troopers show up and take Grogu from Mando. I just- I can’t... Another thing that happens is the Razor Crest getting blown up! Holy shit, I was shocked. So Mando is left with no ship, no Grogu, and has to get him back. So, Boba and Fennec promise to help him. Very action packed, and tragic episode.

Favorite moments: Din knowing nothing about the Jedi, the whole bit in the Razor Crest with Din and Grogu being cute, Fennec being a badass, Boba being a badass, Grogu beating those Stormtroopers in his cell, and Moff Gideon being as vilanous as ever (gotta love Giancarlo Esposito)

Overall: 8.7/10

Chapter 15: The Believer (dir. Rick Famuyiwa)

I LOVED this episode. Rick Famuyiwa did it again!! Okay, so Mando, Boba, Fennec, Cara, and Mayfeld (from season 1) go to this Empirial base to get the coordinates of Moff Gideon’s cruiser so they can get Grogu back to his dad (yes, I said it, because it’s true!). So they want Mayfeld to come because he knows stuff about the Empire and I did not really like him in season 1. However, I thought he was really nice here. He even had some funny lines. I loved the action scene on the transport with Mando fighting those pirates they encountered. It was really weird though, not seeing him in his Beskar armor. So they inflitrate the base and Mayfeld’s old superior is sitting where they have to get the coordinates, so he cannot go in, Mando wants to go but here is the twist... It is a facial scan (insert suspenseful sound). So, he goes in, tries it with his helmet on, and that obviously does not work. So he removes his helmet. This was so powerful, he was willing to let other people see his face to save Grogu. It just shows how much he cares, and I loved to see it. The whole scene without his helmet was so suspenseful. I was stressed while watching it. Pedro Pascal is such a good actor, he was selling it! Mayfeld was so cool about it though. He had been messing with Mando having his helmet on the entire time and when he eventually took it off, he was really respectful about it. Another thing I thought was fantasic this episode was Mando treathening Moff Gideon with a little message. He basically used the same message Gideon told him last season when he was looking for Grogu, but now Mando used it on him. He even said that Grogu means more to him and Gideon will ever know. Oh my gosh!!! In conclusion, after this episode, I could not wait for the finale. 

Favorite moments: Din removing his helmet, Din realizing his blaster was jammed so he just yeeted it to the pirate instead, Mayfeld and Din talking to the Empirial guy in the cantine, Mayfeld calling Din ‘Brown Eyes’, and Din’s message to Gideon.

Overall: 9/10

Chapter 16: The Rescue (dir. Peyton Reed)

Where to begin?! Oh my goodness, SO MUCH happened during this episode. Mando adds Bo-Katan and Koska Reeves to his crew to get Grogu back. They agree, since this is Bo-Katan’s chance to take back the darksaber from him. So Boba Fett distracts Gideon’s people for the rest of the crew to sneak on board. So we had Cara, Fennec, Bo-Katan, and Koska just kicking these stromtrooper’s asses and it was stunning to see. Mando goes to look for Grogu but encounters the dark troopers and they were ruthless. I honestly thought he was going to get hurt or something. Thank goodness he had that Beskar speer, so he yeeted them out of the ship and made his way to Grogu. Only to find Gideon standing there with the darksaber. He is like just take him, I got his blood. Of course, it is a trap and he attacks Mando. We get an epic fight between Gideon with the darksaber and Mando with his speer. It was so cool and Mando wins! He then walks back to the crew with Gideon in handcuffs, wielding the darksaber, and Grogu in his hand. Bo-Katan sees it and looks shocked since she now cant get it from him since it needs to won in battle as Gideon reminds everyone (he was obviously enjoying this), which I completely forgot. Then just says I yield, take it. She cannot just accept, which makes Din the rightful ruler of Mandalore (CRAZY!!!). This was left with no answers, so I am hoping that this will be explored during season 3!!. The dark troopers get back to the ship and they need a miracle now. Out of nowhere, one single X-Wing shows up. I knew it was a Jedi, but who? Of course, Luke crossed my mind, but I was like, NO WAY. So I thought, it could be Ezra from Rebels (he also has a green lightsaber). However, there was no way someone that powerful was Ezra, it had to be Luke. I will never forget it, my heart was beating so fast, I was crying, and the suspense was just, oh my. The hallway scene was fantastic. Then the jedi reveals his face, and it is Mark Hamill back as Luke Skywalker in all his glory. The CGI was impressive, although when he started talking, it looked a little off. Anyway, now Din has to say goodbye to Grogu and he lets him see his face. This was such a beautiful moment, it made me cry even more. This show is incredible, however this just proves that when you strip away all the cool stuff and guest appearances, this show is about Din and Grogu’s relationship, which in the end, is my favorite thing about the show. It was so emotional. Grogu then leaves with Luke and R2 (!!!), and that concludes season 2! This finale was just incredible, and what made it even more emotional was Pedro’s perfromance. He is fantastic! Again, the score this season was so good but in the finale, Ludwig outdit himself! So beautiful and emotional. 

Favorite moments: the whole thing, not even going to try to pick just a few

Overall: 10/10

So that is season 2 of The Mandalorian!! I have to say, after the shit year 2020 was, Mando Fridays made it a little better. I cannot wait to see it continue. I think it will be after The Book of Boba Fett with Boba and Fennec (looking forward to that!). This ended up way longer than I intended, oh well. I hope you enjoyed reliving Mando season 2 with me! Now I kind of want to watch it again...

This Is The Way.

XO

Yenai

[tillmays]

Is just Her...

the next day

they falled asleep at the fireplace the sun was softly bright. is 7:00 am mac's phone couldn't stop ringing. he woke up saw Riley by his side and smiled then removed her hair from her face, he got distracted looking at her that by the time he grabbed his phone he missed the call, he checked up and had 10 missed calls from matty.

Mac- oh crap .. Riley .. *he shacked her to wake her up, what! ... * she said grumpy* -Riley! *he raised his voice to wake her up, he was in the other room changing his shirt, Mac went back to the fireplace putting his jacket back on* Riley wake up we have to go now!, Matty called. *Riley got up fast and touched her body as if something was missing and she let out a sigh of relief and laughed and sited back* mac just looked at her funny and raised his eyebrows* come on let's go.

on their way to work.

Riley- ahh my head hurts .. we drunk to much. *she touched her face*

Mac- i have a migraine too.

Riley- we need to stop at the gas station.

Mac- we are already late and you want to make a stop?

Riley- trust me, we need a boost. and besides we can't go to work like this. and my head hurts like hell, to be listening matty's screams.

Mac- You are right on that.

they are at the gas station, Riley went to buy something that could help with the hungover and got back in the car.

Riley- here, drink it.

Mac- Riley are you crazy, we already have a hungover and you buy more beer?!

Riley- can you calm down, trust me. this has worked for me before you will feel better. Well at least for a while. *he wasn't sure about it* -you trust me? *he looked at her* then drink it, relax. *he drank the beer and he in a weird way felt quite better.*

Mac- ... i don't understand the logic in this but it worked.

the phoenix somewhere in los angeles.

Matty was ANGRY bozer and desi were already there. the tree of them waiting for them to show up. then finally they walk thru the door.

Bozer- thank god i thought you will have us waiting another 3 hours here.

Mac- matty i'm so so sorry we just ..

Matty- save it I don't want to hear it. i called you more than 3 times you have a responsibility you know how important it is to be on time and if this happens again you will be in trouble.

Mac- and what about riley?

Riley- * she punched him in the arm * dude what the hell ..

Matty- it goes for both of you. i don't have time to play we have work to do.

Matty- today you all were invited to a wedding! *she starts to explain the case* the guy you are going to be tracking is..

Bozer- the groom right? what did he do?

Matty- surprisingly, this time wasn't the groom, its the father of the groom. *photo pops up*

Bozer- ah that's new. 

Matty- his name is Oliver Hudson. and he is about business. the man doesn't have a break from his work, a source discovered evidence of uranium thefts at a nuclear treatment plant and informed us that his team it's the responsable. It's his sons wedding, the source told us that he already has someone who want to buy it. And I need to know who. So today he is...

Mac- is going to sell it at his son's wedding. 

Matty- yes, and that's when my dream team appears, you stop him from selling it arrest him and bring me the person who's buying the uranium.

Wiltshire, England

they arrived to this 14th century village of Castle Combe, there was a lot of people celebrating for the newlyweds. Riley was wearing this beautiful long formal emerald green dress featuring a-line silhouette, backless design, with low v-neck and her hairstyle was passion/spring twists and was styled with a middle high ponytail.

Desi was looking gorgeous wearing this light yellow dress with a v neck adjust to her waist with a crossed nod as a detail,with a diamond necklace with this loosely hair and only a lock collected with this silver hair pin and mac and bozer in their neat black suits as always. 

Mac- has anyone spotted our star yet?  he said while walking to the bar.

Riley- not yet. *she had a drink on her hand and passed by his side, mac saw her passing, at first didn't realized it was her, he make a double take and checked her up and down, you could see in his eyes that his jaw was on the floor. 

Bozer- Nothing on this side of the room.*changed to the other room and desi was walking down the stairs and walked behind Bozer, she grabbed a glass of wine while she kept walking* 

Desi- this is stupid, how are we going to find this man in a freaking castle, who gets married in a castle anyways...

Riley- the little brats just like the bride. 

Desi- mmm, but i get it, her man is attractive.

Riley- mhjm... he can get it *Desi laughed* 

Bozer- he literally looks just like that actor that was Christian grey in 50 shades of grey..

Riley- i.. didn't know you liked that type of movies.. i thought you liked the real cinema. but youre right if i didn't know him he looks just like that actor.

Bozer- i don't but leanna make me watched those movies with her..

Mac- ok i think you're oversharing boz..

Desi- yes, but we need to be looking for his father not him, so focus.

Mac- everyone pick a floor and move we can't let this man sell the uranium.

Everyone started searching. Bozer and Desi went together to the first floors, were the party was happening, behind the castle, while Mac and Riley went upstairs, while they were searching in an really big open room, Mac reclined to the back of a white sofa and said: - i dont think its here. we have to keep looking. they heard someone was coming to their way, that part of the place was all alone and only them were there.Riley- Mac someone’s coming. *Mac grabbed the glass of champagne he took before to pretend that he was drinking. - Riley come here  and grab your drink. *he said almost whispering with an anxious voice, Riley walked towards him, Mac did not think what he was going to do, surprisingly he didn’t think this time he just acted. Mac grabbed her by the arm, opened his legs and placed Riley between them, he pressed her body next to his, He ran his hand across her back, venturing into her skin for that little moment, until he reached her hip a little lower if you know what i mean. they were so close that anyone who had seen them in that scene could see that light, that flame between them, which unfortunately this two did not see, he held her as tightly as if she were going to leave, but at the same time he held her delicately, as if she was made of glass. they didn’t speak for that little unreal moment, they just looked into eachothers eyes like everyone left and was only them. Riley was surprised, and he took her by the arm she though *what the hell is this boy doing* but then her body got loose and she understood what he was doing, she put her arm around him and played with the back of his head, crossing her fingers thru his hair. the both of them felt a they felt a little tickle in the stomach and in the throat but they thought that feeling was for the adrenaline rush of almost getting caught looking for the secret room. the people who they heard coming in was a group of drunk guys they were laughing and tumbling on of them saw them and said - oh we better give them a little privacy.. they went to the next room making more noise. Mac and Riley stayed like that for a minute. when riley snapped out if as if they got hypnotized by each other’s energy.Riley- mac.. *she whispered softly, but he didn’t react* mac.. *she said again* something about the way she said his name that made Mac squirt inside. Mac- Riles.. *with his deep deep voice* Riley- they already left. *she said with disappointment in her voice as she wanted to be in his arms forever. she removed her arm of his neck slowly, mac reacted to that.Mac- oh yeah … they did … * cleared his throat, and as he slowly took his arm from her waist, he didn’t want to set her free.. Riley- oh i will go to the bathroom so i can use the laptop without distractions. Mac- yeah i’m gonna keep on looking on this side.

Riley went to the bathroom to use her laptop in private and she needed to see the blueprints of the castle, she starts to give directions to mac, apparently Oliver make his sells in a back room. then someone is trying to open the door and riley jumped of surprise and closed the laptop and hid it, she opened the door and for her surprise there was the bride who was really really drunk and wanted to use the bathroom.

Riley- oh don't worry, i was just living and smiled.

the bride- oh please i know i don't know you but can you please help me.

Riley- i really have to go

the bride- oh please. *Riley took of her communicator cause she kinda knew were she was going and wanted to give her some privacy* 

Riley- ok what do you need?

bride- can you hold my dress while a use the toilet?

Riley- *opened her mouth and in her mind she said -i knew it-  she raised her eyebrows and she said: yeah sure why not, is your day anyways.. *she picked up her big dress and the vail who was really long and the bride started talking and talking, Riley in her head was thinking god how much longer is she going to pee?,this is the longest pee i have ever seen.

Riley- heeey girl how many glasses of... whatever you were drinking did you have? cause..

bride- *started laughing* oh just a couple... and giggled.

Riley- great, are you done?

bride- yeah im done.           

Riley- *Riley bent down to fix the bride's dress* 

back with the team at the castle courtyard. 

mac- hey does someone knows where Riley is? i need to know where is that room.

desi- i don't know where is she but i do know where is oliver.

mac- where?

desi- he is sitting at his table with some family and some kids.

bozer- what we do know?

mac- we have to wait, we need to catch him in the act, in the min time desi keep an eye on him, boz go see where is Riley i will keep searching for that room. 

back at the restroom 

Riley- well your dress is fine.

bride- thank you so so much* she hugged her and gave her a kiss in the chick* you know your my best friend.. i love you.

Riley- thank you, Chloe. 

Chloe the bride who was really dizzy and very drunk already forgot those 3 minutes they were in there and said to her- wait how do you know my name?who did you come with? 

Riley- oh you're not having more drinks *Riley smiled* i'm marks girlfriend,remember? the best man of your boyfriend i mean husband, and speaking of mens i think your husband is waiting for you should go find him

chloe- you know how beautiful you are, marks very lucky to have you.

*Riley blushed and grabbed the bride hands and turn her around to make her walk to the door* thats very kind of you, but i want to use the bathroom now, she said to make her leave, she knew Mac was waiting for her indications, Chloe walked to the door and she started to stumble and she felt on her back* 

Riley- oh not again.

Mac is walking thru the castle following the little indications Riley could give him, he knew he was close so he was in this library and started to look on the room to make this type of device that would work like a magnet but not at the same time to help him find the secret room, looking through the room with the device that he had made with a cocktail glass, a chewing gum wrapper and his swiss knife, he was close to finding it but not that close.

back with Riley. 

Riley- ok Chloe come on, you ok? i'm going to take you to your room. she grabbed her by the waist and make it look natural like nothing was going on she didn't want to get anyone's attention, she made it look like Chloe wasn't drunk and walked down the hallway, Riley memorized the blueprints so she knew were to go, one of her many skills. they got to the room and she placed her in the bed, as she was to walk of the room, she heard some steps outside there were three men and she hid and she saw another door and walked into this little room but she knew that it wasn't the one they were looking for, Riley put back her communicator on her ear again, and said: guys how's it going?

Bozer- Riley, girl i have been looking for you.

Mac- Riley where have you been?

Riley- i'm sorry but the bride find me in the bathroom and asked for help she's really drunk, and apparently she thinks we're best friends now. *she kept walking and entered another room*

Mac- glad you made a friend but i need to find that room.

Desi- Mac Oliver is about to leave the table, his bodyguard gave him the phone he just received a call, bozer is with me, we are going behind him.

Bozer- wait,*he said to desi and put his hand in her shoulder to make her stop* look he going to dance with the bride. look Chloe's is there.

Riley- what?! i left her in her bed.. damn that girl is fast.

Mac- Riley can you please look in your laptop and tell me the indication to go find that room.

Riley- well i dont have my laptop with me. tell me where are you.

Mac- what?? 

Riley- mac tell me where are you i memorized the structure of the castle i know where is the room.

Mac- *makes that face when he is surprised*

ok well i didn't know that you could do that, well i'm at the library, i went to the kitchen, the wine room, and then to this cellar there is by crossing the kitchen and nothing 

Riley- that's why you are looking in the wrong places.wait you said that you're at the library? *she walked out the little room and walked to the other room, it was the grooms room. 

mac- yes, why?

Riley- there is a door right? not the one you entered of there has to be another.

mac- yes here it is.

riley- there is the room, in there is a big painting.

mac- how is going to be in there.?

Riley- mac move it. but be careful i can't remember but i think it has motion sensors. 

mac- you can memorized the blueprints of a castle but can remember if a room has motion sensors??... 

Riley- well what can i say.. im Riley.

mac- *he had this cute smiled while she said it* yup the one and only.

Riley- laughed.*while she was in the room she was looking thru the window, while someone walked in, it was the groom. she turned around, and looked him very cold, she was just distracted, but for him she looked like a vision*

the groom- oh sorry i didn't know it was someone in here, excuse me. 

Riley- no its ok, its your room anyways.

the groom- how do you know that?

Riley- well there is a bottle of whisky that says for james aka the groom, and you left your vows on that chair.

James- oh that's from my friends *he blushed*

Riley- yeah i notice.

James- and yeah i forgot those.*he laughed* Riley knew she had to make him talk, see if she can get something out of him about his father. but then he asked: so what's your name and what are you hiding in here? im james by the way.

Riley: first of all, i'm not hiding and second of all i already know your name remember* she pointed to the bottle.*he was embarrassed and blushed* 

james- well then why are you alone?

Riley- isn't it everyone.. *she said while giving him this penetrating cold stare. James looked at her with more intrigue he was really curious about her. he took of his tie and started to play with it in his hands. he looked like it was having a bad time some said that he looked sad.

Riley with just one look could see the mind of this mans was trying to get over something*- and you what are you hiding. *she said sitting in a couch that was under the window and in front of him but at the side corner of the bed*

James- first of all im not hiding* he said trying to mimic her *Riley smiled*

Riley- oh ok. you look very tense to be the day of your wedding why aren't you with your wife?...

James- mjh i don't know maybe.. because i got an arranged marriage and i don't really love her like that and just married her because of my father.

*yess riley said in her mind, she was going in the right direction*

Riley- i knew it, you have that type of look of my father is an asshole,* he just sighed and laughed* but don't worry my dad is an asshole too.

James- *with his arms on in legs sitting on the bed and was looking to the floor and when she said that, he looked up and looked at her with more interest*- you still haven't told me your name- *he was starstruck by her, he loved how mysterious she was*

Riley- das not important, i wanna know why you think your so miserable. 

back with Mac

Mac was hearing the hole conversation between the groom and Riley. He managed to move the painting without activating any alarm, the cameras of the place had already been manipulated by Riley so the image they were looking at security was a frozen image of the empty rooms. he hid and had to wait until Oliver and the man who was going to buy it came in, but he was thinking why was Riley talking with the groom and couldn't stop thinking what was happening there and why was she  alone with him in that room.

         .........................................................................................................

later will post the whole story, let me know if you would like me to add photos to the story or if you guys prefer to remove them, i like to add them for you, so yall can see what i actually imaginated and make it feel real and close like watching in some way the show...¿ idk ahha and of course this is the following of the las one “i'm here if you need me”. Ik this one had little macriley, but i love to see the jealous angus. (And don't ask me how but that trick of the beer it has really worked for me lol)

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

All the Stars Pt 6

Tagging: @melyaliz @thespacebuns @coffee-randomness @the-sun-and-their-moon

Summary: Nova goes down memory lane as she heads out for the holidays

A/N Pam belongs to @thespacebuns

Read Earlier Parts Here

By the time Christmas arrived Nova found herself not wanting to leave Hogwarts. The temptation to further explore the castle while hardly anyone was there was too great to resist. But also most of her friends were going home for the holidays and it just wouldn't be the same.

"What are you going to do as soon as you get home?" Nova asked as she finished settling Apollo's cage in place.

"Oh I do hope my parents have set up the tree I really want to decorate it." Adeline said as she took a seat with her brother and Jamie sat beside them.

"I'll probably have to help my parents at the shop, believe it or not it gets crazy around Christmas time." Pam sighed as she took a seat beside Nova making Cedric take her other side.

Nova smiled, pleased that Pam was starting to become more open about her parents profession. She remembered how that conversation went down shortly after they became friends.

"You know if you shine them under a red light it'll give you tips on how to do certain tricks." Pam said as she saw Nova begin to play with her cards one day as they opted to spend their time in the dormitory.

"Really?" Nova asked, suddenly looking at the backs of the card.

She had had this deck for the longest time and was always curious about the strange markings on the back of the cards.

"How do you know that?" Nova asked after a moment of silence.

"My dad showed me." Pam said simply, her expression was hesitant the way it usually got when she wasn't sure if she should share certain information with Nova yet.

“My parents own the magic shop. They have a special printer for the cards.” She finally caved watching Nova’s expression.

It took a minute for the information to settle into Nova’s head then she cracked a smile and Pam pouted.

“Forgive me but you have to admit the situation is a bit ironic in a funny way.” Nova slightly giggled. “I mean what are the odds a family who does muggle magic end up with a witch for a daughter. I bet they just thought you were a natural at everything they taught you.”

Pam smiled sheepishly. “Yeah pretty much. They had no idea until the ministry person showed up.”

“What about you?” Cedric asked, interrupting her memory.

“Pardon?” Nova asked, blinking her eyes as she remembered what they were talking about.

“What will you do when you get home?” Cedric asked curiously. Nova had quickly found out that Cedric was always fascinated with all her stories of the muggle world.

“Well as much as I would love to start decorating for Christmas.” Nova began as she slumped against the seat. “I did ask my parents to record any of my programs that I’ve missed and then to buy any movie that has come out recently. I'm not sure how much I have to catch up on.”

“Oh why didn’t I think of that.” Jamie frowned. “And we got a new vhs player before I went to Hogwarts this year.”

"Programs?" Cedric asked his brows furrowing in confusion. "Movie? VHS?"

All the girls giggled as he continued to look around utterly confused.

"Oh you should all come visit me for a weekend. We could show Cedric around London and show him our favorite movies." Nova said perking up at the idea of at least still having an adventure with her friends over the holidays.

Nova quickly pulled out a piece of paper and began to scribble out her phone number.

"Here, give me your numbers as well so I can call as soon as I get an answer from my parents." She handed out small slips to all the girls. "And I'll send you a letter through Apollo as soon possible."

Cedric nodded though he seemed upset he didn’t get a slip of paper. Half of the train ride back was spent wondering the train checking in with friends they hadn’t been able to squeeze in the compartment. Nova made mental lists of which friends to send at least small gifts to. The Weasley kids had warmed up to Nova over the course of their time at Hogwarts and she remembered their father really enjoyed muggle artifacts. It would seem Apollo would have his wings full this holiday, Nova just hoped he was up to the task.

In the end everyone was almost resisting the urge to separate. They went through the secret entrance in pairs and huddled as closely together as possible as they looked for their parents. Hugging each other tightly before saying goodbye. When Nova finally let go of Pam she rushed over to her parents and hugged them tightly.

“How was your first semester at Hogwarts?” Her father asked once they pulled away from the embrace.

“So much fun!” Nova said bouncing in place, her parents chuckled as they walked towards the car.

“The castle is ginormous, I don't think I’ve fully explored it all. I almost wanted to stay for the holidays.” Nova began as soon as they were all in the car. “Would it be okay if I stay during the Easter holidays? I mean we don’t really celebrate it much.”

“We’ll see sweetheart.” Her mother said and Nova slightly noticed her tone of discipline? What was that about?

“I was also wondering if my friends could come during one of the weekends. We have a pure blood friend and we want to show him around London and muggle stuff.” Nova continued but paused when she felt a strange silence spreading between her parents.

They glanced at each other nervously as if not sure how to bring up something.

“What’s wrong?” Nova asked.

“We’ll stardust theres something we need to speak to you about.” Her father cleared his throat.

“You see we received quite a number of letters from your Head of House Professor Snape.” Her mother continued.

“You mean Mr. Snape.” Nova grumbled under her breath.

“Nova!” Her mother reprimanded her.

“I’m sorry but last I checked Mr. Snape does not have an actual doctorate.” Nova huffed.

“Would you call Professor McGonagall, Mrs. McGonagall?” Her father inquired.

“Heavens no I do value my life.” Nova said.

“Right, well Professor Snape has sent us… many letters regarding your behavior in school.” Her mother continued.

“My behavior?” Nova asked wondering what she could have dont that would warrant a letter to her parents.

“Apparently you bewitched a chalkboard to do something?” Her father finally said and it suddenly clicked.

“I can’t believe he gets away with this.” Nova fumed as she left the potions class. “Just because I try to correct something and suddenly he takes points away from Gryffindor? The twins weren’t even doing anything during this lesson.”

“Don’t stress Nov.” Fred said.

“Yeah Snape takes points from our house all the time.” George said.

“Its still not fair.” Nova huffed thinking about how Snape needed a taste of his own medicine.

It suddenly clicked and Nova paused.

“Oh whatcha thinking?” Pam asked, eyeing the look Nova had on her face.

“I need a large chalkboard.” Was all Nova said and they quickly went hunting for one.

Nova bewitched the chalkboard in a way that would add points towards certain heads of house, then she hung it over the glass tubes that kept the score of the houses. Nova started to give points to all her professors making sure to score everyone high but keeping Snapes in the negatives. In the end Snape eased up a bit and nova retired the chalkboard much to everyone’s dismay. Though she kept it tucked away just in case.

“Well?” Her mother asked, waiting for Nova to explain herself.

“If you think I made it write something vulgar I didn't.” Nova said then continued to explain what it is that really happened.

By the end of her tale her father had to fight back the urge to laugh and her mother was a strange mixture of worry, disappointment, and annoyance.

“Why haven’t you told us how Professor Snape has been treating you?” Her mother asked.

“Didn’t seem important at the time. IfI had known he was sending letters every time I had a thought about his methods of brewing potions, then I would have sent one right along about how big of git he is.”

“Nova.” Her mother reprimanded again while her father disguised his laugh as a cough.

“Well he’s definitely no Slughorn.” Her father said to lighten the mood.

“Does this mean my friends can’t come over?” Nova asked as she realized why her parents had been in such a strange mood when she was asking to spend time with her friends.

“Well.” Her mother sighed, wondering what to do now that she knew Novas' side. “Why don't you give your father and I a day to think about it.”

In the end her parents caved, as long as Nova kept them more up to date over what happened during her classes. Nova was surprised to know that Adeline didn’t live that far from her and was able to visit her more frequently. They both alternated between going to visit Pam and having Pam visit them. Though Nova had a mother who was basically considered muggle it was a bit of a strange experience meeting her friends parents.

Adelines parents seemed like smart people; they didn't seem to mind the fact that they had produced two magical children and instead tackled it as some new challenge. Meanwhile Pam's parents were enthusiastic that their daughter had turned out to perform real magic, they loved seeing the simple spells Novas father had to help around the house. Pam’s parents had also hoped that Pam's younger sister would also turn out to be gifted magically.

Though meeting the muggle parents had been a bit of giggle, traveling around London with Cedric. Nova, Adeline, Pam, Jamie, and evening a couple of Cedric friends had all spent a day together. They took the boys to a movie and made try as many muggle snacks as possible. Pam had even showed them how to mix their popcorn with certain candies. They also went to a mall and made them try on muggle clothes. In the end the boys had actually purchased a couple outfits.

“I want to live in London.” Cedric sighed as they drove away from the city.

“Im surprised Amos as never brought you before.” Novas father said peering at them through the rear view mirror. “With the way he speaks of you I think you just need ask and he’d consider moving.”

Cedric turned pink at the mention of his father and Nova scolded her own.

“I'm just saying.” Her father chuckled.

“You’re more than welcomed to come whenever you want.” Nova said, rolling her eyes at her father. “Trust me we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface with muggle things.”

“Sounds fun.” Cedric said smiling brightly at the thought.

Novas father glanced through the rear view mirror again and sighed softly at their familiar expressions. Ah kids.

[featuristicfilm]

Movies of Fall/Winter 2019 (and 2020) that I’m really excited to see

With awards season kicking in, the movie release slate is about to bring us some incredible pieces of cinema. There are many films this year that sound fun, interesting, profound and promising so here is a shortened list of the ones that get me giddy with most anticipation. TOP 5 let’s go! (and a few honourable mentions)

5. Lucy in the Sky (Noah Hawley, December 6th, 2019, UK)

Randomly stumbling upon its trailer on Youtube, I was surprised as to why I haven’t heard anything about this film at all because it actually looks super intriguing. Even though the notion of a space movie can feel fairly worn-out, and there is only so much originality you can bring to that kind of concept, Lucy in the Sky looks like it’s going to be a completely shifted take on space dynamics and exploration. In fact, it seems it’s going to be a story fully centred around one character’s individual, self-reflective, very personal journey, with space acting only as a narrative device that creates the background, rather than it being at the forefront of the film’s events. Natalie Portman seems completely in her shoes in this trope of a study of a character who’s deeply damaged and emotionally transformed by whatever trials she undergoes. The trailer is put together so perfectly as well. It tells just enough information for us to understand what is the movie’s premise while also creating a dramatic and suspenseful energy. Also, to me the imagery feels very grounded and serious but also kind of weird, daring and eccentric in some shots, so if the creators managed to balance a kind of art-house approach with some epic, grandiose visual elements it is going to be one hell of a film. To be fair, I was kind of excited just ‘cause it’s Natalie Portman but the more I think about the story the more interesting and promising it sounds. Unfortunately, it comes out October 4th which means its going to have a biiiiit of a competitor in the box-office in the form of Joker.

4. Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi, January 3rd, 2020, UK)

This one exhibits several traits that make the film very enticing. First of all, of course, the subject matter. I think it’s fair to say that a little boy interacting with Adolf Hitler in the shape of an imaginary friend is as crazy and amusing an idea as it gets. And, of course, many of us have our understanding and reaction towards the people and events of the WW2 era but to have that portrayed in a comedy genre is definitely going to cast a whole new light on the subject, at least as seen on the big screen. This will most likely be a story exploring harsh realism through imagination and fantasy but also through the earnest and innocent eyes of a child and it will likely be a surprising take and not what anyone expects it to be. Due to many reasons, it is, obviously, going to be a widespread conversation piece and for that alone I have to see it. The other thing that perfectly complements the idea of this project, is the man himself, Taika Waititi. I don’t think a better combination between the material and the creator can emerge because it is hard to imagine someone else taking on such a bold proposition. He’s just the type of writer and director that is so unique in style and taste that you just believe anything he makes is going to turn out special in one way or another, and having creative will and freedom and integrity might be exactly what made this whole thing possible in the first place. Plus Waititi himself is playing Hitler which, I’d imagine, just raises the scale of humour and energy and dynamics of the whole piece. 

3. Jumanji: The Next Level (Jake Kasden, December 13th, 2019, UK)

I know, a not so popular of a choice. Compared to the way every other film is awaited based on their technical and creative merits, with this one I am so genuinely eager to experience the fun. After all the amusement Jumanji: Into the Jungle brought to the franchise, I don’t see why anybody wouldn’t be excited about this next instalment. I absolutely loved that film, it was so so so funny and entertaining! The story was really great because not only did it bring that fantasy and adventure aspect once again but also the way the avatar/game player narrative approach was incorporated was so unique. So, after seeing the trailers for this sequel, it sparked even more excitement to see how else can they possibly spin that concept. With that in mind, bringing in Danny DeVito and Danny Glover, well regarded comedic figures and over all talents, to the mix is genius. Them trapped in the bodies of Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart is, honestly, a hilarious thought and having old guys interact with the other teenage friends and deal with challenges in the desert, jungle, mountain tops will be no less than a thrilling journey. I think this is going to be just the right film to kind of step back from all the serious and deep dramas that will be in full motion for Oscar season at the time, and switch to some good-old light-hearted cinema. With holidays coming up during its release (December 13th) - nothing better than to go see a fun family movie. And if the playfulness and humour combined with the fond spirit of the story lands at least the same way as it did with the previous film, it’s going to win over people’s hearts and probably the box-office. Can’t wait to just fully enjoy the action and immerse myself in the wonder of this adventure all over again!

2. Joker (Todd Philips, October 4th, 2019, UK)

I have to admit, while initially I was very interested in this new iteration of Joker purely on a general movie-goer level, it was maintained and gradually piqued as time went on largely due to everyone talking about it so much. The sheer amount of hype and anticipation this announcement has managed to create is baffling. Every film coverage outlet, magazine, blog was discussing it. And maybe it’s just that I follow a lot of superhero genre loving people and maybe the idea of this film, in fact, doesn’t concern the general viewer as much, still it has kept many eagerly waiting. The thing that gives it an edge, though, is the fact that this is not simply going to be your general superhero action blockbuster but rather an intense psychological drama reflecting on certain societal issues applied to a familiar mythology. The character everyone knows as a rival to Batman here seems to be a troubled man, beaten down literally, as well as emotionally due to social injustice and his own mental complications. Therefore, this film will probably not rely on epic showdowns and comic tropes as much but actually will give the concept of an ‘origin story’ a different meaning. It’s exciting that DC took it upon themselves to make a bold and creatively charged version of their beloved character, and with Joaquin Phoenix as the lead and Todd Philips as director I think they can be confident about their vision. Whether it is going to be received well or not, that’s the question. While it did already receive heaps of acclaim, including the Golden Lion in the Venice Film Festival, the early audience reviews are quite widely mixed. Nonetheless, it is very intriguing. I have to say, it’s shaping out to be one of those films, and performances, in particular, that have the ability to stay in the minds of the viewers long after. Not long to wait now and we’ll finally see if it lives up to what it set out for. ‘Cause let me tell you, the standard’s high, for sure.

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, November 29th, 2019, UK)

For the longest, this film and Joker were up to par for the number one place on my list of the most awaited movies of the rest of year. Every trailer amped up the excitement so much more and, ultimately, when I felt that I could’t stop thinking about Knives Out, counting days ‘till it’s release, I knew which one has won me over. No surprise, though. I absolutely love whodunnits!!! There’s just a certain thrill to a mystery or a detective style film that cannot be found anywhere else. There’s always so much room for exploration of characters and narratives and the story can take so many directions. If a screenplay for a murder mystery is done right, and all the twists and turns are unexpected and smartly placed, it’s just the best. I also love the interactive aspect of it. Even though I know I can’t change the way it all plays out, I have the ability to have my own reasoning and conclusions that I can apply in my head as the events role out. So with this film I was instantly hooked. Chris Evans’ attachment to the project definitely helped me discover it, though. I’m a huge fan of his and I was curious already to see what kind of role he is about to take on next after the culmination of his journey as Captain America in the MCU. Since I find him to be a very intelligent actor, I think I can trust his judgement on what kind of material is interesting to explore and what kind of people are worth collaborating with. That in mind, this cast looks absolutely incredible! Some really experienced ‘veterans’ in Toni College, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer, a big big star Daniel Craig, as well as some less known but promising names such as Ana de Armas and Katherine Langford, for example. And that’s just to name a few… Wow. With the nature and genre of the story, given it’s a suspenseful mystery but with a comedic flare, a good ensemble of performers is crucial, as is their dynamic. Hopefully, writer/director Rian Johnson has managed to create a rich, powerful and unique film that will entertain and won’t disappoint. I do believe that will be the case, as that much talent on screen and behind the camera is usually a recipe for success.

If not for the short list… I have so many other films that have caught my attention and that will absolutely have me in the cinema seat on opening night. These include Bombshell whose team is worth an applause for that amazingly well put teaser trailer; Just Mercy, for a true story that will no doubt have an impact on me and for what seem to be astounding performances by the lead cast; and Marriage Story because it will make me cry… Stories about family, love and relationships always hit close home, this one might break my heart but there’s pain and joy in life all the time, I look forward to seeing the often difficult reality reflected on screen.

[allthestoriesinyourhead]

Reviewer pj presents...

First of all, yes, I know I'm like 6 years late to the TID party and that it was back in 2013 when people were going crazy about this trilogy. But I discovered the magical world of booktube in 2015 and that's when I heard of this little gem. The Shadowhunters Chronicles. If you haven't heard of it, maybe its 2013 movie, it's 2016 Freeform/Netflix series adaptation or its book series of over 12 books + companions and counting, then you've been living under a rock, buddy.

Like I said, my first approach with this series was the movie. I liked it, but I had no idea of its massive foundations. Then in 2015, I learned of the book series and that it was going to be a Netflix series, and I liked the first episode and everyone's hype had me curious so I decided to give the books a try. I would read the first series The Mortal Instruments (6 books) and the star of this review The Infernal Devices (3 books) in the recommended order, which is the order of publication as these two series are intertwined.

If you didn't know (which I doubt), the recommended thing to do before starting The Infernal Devices is to read the first 3 books of The Mortal Instruments. And I read the first two back in 2016 and... they didn't grab me. So I gave up.

But I kept seeing so much hype around the TID trilogy, and that there were people who had only read that trilogy and skipped the TMI books because TID was a lot better and it had the best love triangle they'd ever read.

But do you think I read it right after that? Well, no. I finally started the series in December 2018 and finished it last week. And I did not regret it. Now brace yourselves for the longest review I'd ever written.

Summary

Since this is a summary review, obviously I can only tell you what the first book is about as if you didn't know already.

In 1878 in Victorian London, 16-year-old Tessa Grey just arrived from New York to meet up with her brother Nate, the only family she has left after her aunt died. But she is met by these 2 women, the Dark Sisters, who hold Tessa hostage and tell her she’ll only see Nate if she cooperates.

The thing is that Tessa has a very strange ability that no one else in the world has. She can shapeshift into anyone dead or alive as long as she has an object of that person and she can also truly become the person by accessing their memories and even their personality. The Dark Sisters knew this but Tessa had no clue, so they torture her to train her into mastering this ability so they could deliver her to the main villain of the story, The Magister, who wants to marry Tessa.

One day Tessa is rescued by everyone's favorite literary husband, Will Herondale, and she's taken to the London Institute where the Shadowhunters of London live. Charlotte, the head of the institute, Henry, her husband, a clumsy inventor, Jessamine who hates everything to do with the world of the Shadowhunters, Jem, the sweetest boy ever, and of course his best friend and fighting partner, Will. The Shadowhunters give Tessa refugee at the institute and they help her find her brother as long as she cooperates with them.

Review

Oh man! Where do I start with these books?

First, let me say that I really, really liked them, and I don't know why I waited so long to read them. I mean... I do know. Because I wanted to read all the books from both series and thought I couldn't read this one on its own. But I don't know why I waited so long after finding out that it was ok to only read this trilogy.

The prologue and the first chapter of the first book hooked me in on the character of Tessa. She really is an amazing protagonist and one of my favorite parts of the entire trilogy. She's so vulnerable at the beginning, but she was never weak. She's kind and friendly with everyone at the institute and even though she's new into this world of Shadowhunters and demons, and werewolves and vampires, she doesn't look away from it but instead insists on learning everything she can. She always has a question, always has her nose buried in a book and isn't afraid to speak her mind no matter who it is, and I love it how other characters think the same of her.

She isn't a fighter and can't get involved in the conflicts the way Shadowhunters do, but she's always there, she insists on helping, whether that is using her ability or just sitting down with them and thinking or doing research. She learns about some harsh truths along the way, but they never knock her down. She accepts them as reality and they only make her stronger. Tessa is really the kind of protagonist that's very easy to get attached to, and you're glad to be proud of her by the end of it all.  

Then we have our favorite boys, Will and Jem.

Now let me tell you, everyone on the internet will tell you that they're in love with Will Herondale so I had a lot of curiosity about him. In some ways, Will is a walking cliche, he's hilarious, he has the face and body of an angel (seriously, each book and every character loves to remind you at least 10 times how Will is the most beautiful man alive), he's outgoing, mysterious, oh! and recites poetry and loves the books Tessa loves too, but most importantly he's a bad boy with a tragic backstory. And I really liked him. I've learned not to take characters like him too seriously for their cliched actions (they made me laugh, to be honest, I feel like that's what cliches, when they're too obvious, are there for) and in doing that I was able to enjoy Will's character. I enjoyed his dramatic interactions with Magnus Bane, and his friendship with Tessa and Jem (also known as one of the most beautiful friendships I've ever read), and the way he acted when he realized that both he and Jem were in love with Tessa.

And then, of course, we have Jem. Now, Jem is also a boy with the tragic backstory. I truly felt bad for him when I read that, but all that tragedy only turned him into the sweetest boy ever. Jem is the kind of person that always knows what to say (or not to say) to everyone, even Will, who sometimes can be rude. There's a part where Tessa asks Jem about why Will is like that and he tells her that if he hasn't told anyone must be because of a reason and that he's able to get along with Will better than anyone else because he's the only one who doesn't ask him all the questions that everyone wants to know.

Jem is so kind, and that tragic event only made him stronger as a person and he's a character that I'm really proud of, to the point where I preferred Tessa to stay with him rather than Will (but I also liked Will so it's not like I wanted him to stay alone too). Throughout all three books, I always rooted for Jem, and the books sorta favored Will which made me a little bit sad, as if being with Jem was only a filler until Will came around for the big finale. And another thing that bothered me a little was that we don't see Jem's POV. We see almost everyone's POV, except Jem's :( (or maybe once on book 3?) But still, I liked that even though both of them had feelings for Tessa, they didn't resent each other, in fact, they were happy that they had found someone they loved, even if it was the same person. But Jem's love for Tessa made me happier!

And, I know I just rambled on about Tessa, Will and Jem but really I truly liked all the characters in here. I think the only one I didn't like was a certain Consul who, on the third book changes completely to add a bit more of conflict for the other characters that aren't Tessa, Will, and Jem, but I did like how it shaped these other characters and how they were more present in the third book. The villain I liked, I thought his plan throughout the 3 books was clever, but I didn't like his motive. To me at least, it doesn't count as a good enough reason, and it sounded kinda like a tantrum to me. But his plan was good so he's forgiven.

Also, I really enjoyed reading about such a different time period and I think I want to read more books that take place that far in the past. The last books I read that took place many many years ago were the books in the Shades of Magic trilogy (which also happen to take place in London) and I ADORED those books. Everything was described so beautifully, and I loved the way the characters talked. I always found it a little funny because we obviously don't talk like that, and even though it looked funny in some characters, it's one of the reasons why I liked Tessa so much. Everything she said always sounded stronger because of that extra polite manner of talking.

As for my experience reading the book, I wish I'd read them faster because I really liked them, all three of them, but... the chapters were so long! It really threw me off and I felt like I had to take breaks every time I finished a chapter. On the days that I read most, I read 3 chapters, one in the morning, another one in the evening and another one at night. And it sounds silly to say this after I just said that the books grabbed me (because if a book grabs me then I'm going to read it twice as fast). But that's the problem with that. Each chapter left me kind of exhausted that I felt I had to stop and do something else. Another thing that confused me, on the third book, pretty much everyone (except for Jem and like, 2 other characters) gets to be the narrator and after having just Tessa (and Will sometimes) as the narrators on the first two books, this sudden switch from character to character was kind of exhausting and confusing. I felt like I could stop between POV switch in between every chapter and I didn't like that very much.

As for each book I liked best... I feel like they're all tied. What I liked more about the first book was definitely Tessa and the way she reacts to the Shadow World and her first interactions with the rest of the Shadowhunters of the institute, especially Will and Jem. What I liked more about the second book is that we see the friendship between Tessa/Will/Jem develop a lot more, nothing too big related to the villain happens in this book (in my opinion), but for me that was ok. And what I liked about the third book (the first 30% I didn't like very much, felt too much like filler, the remaining 70% I really liked) was its fast pace, and that we finally learn the truth about Tessa's existence and her family, which I'd been wondering since book one.

And finally, I'd always heard that the third book's epilogue was heartbreaking, so I eagerly waited for it, and I can see now that the heartbreaking thing has to do with Will, but it was the part about Jem that almost made me cry. And not to give anyone any spoilers, but Jem has a sort of ability where he can play a song with his violin and the person who listens can actually see something. That's all I'm gonna say. That's the scene that almost cracked me.

Verdict

I really, really enjoyed this trilogy. Like I said, I don't always marathon trilogies, so for me to read these books back to back, means that this was a favorite. The only bad thing is that it didn't make me want to read the rest of the books in The Mortal Instruments series. I think I was more attached to the characters in this trilogy than to the world itself, but I truly admire the intricate thought and effort that was put into this and of course, the creativity to imagine a world so extense to write over a dozen books about it and still have enough inspiration for more.

What I am thinking though, is reading that new The Last Hours trilogy that Cassandra Clare is releasing in November since, chronologically, it takes place after this trilogy and some of the characters from this trilogy will be in it. I don't know if I can do that though because I haven't read the rest of the TMI saga or the TDA trilogy, so I’ll have to do research.

And so, after arriving in London and being thrown into the Shadow World and finding love and loss but most of all lots of love, The Infernal Devices trilogy has me awarding it with an overall score of...

4 out of 5 stars

reviewerpj out!

[teamkaiforever]

SCARS 

(requested by anon) Kai Parker x Reader word count : 3 449 warning : smut summary : Reader is a werewolf who has been in a lot of fights and has some scars on her body , and she doesn’t want to sleep with Kai because of them. * gif by fondu-with-downey _________________________

Being a werewolf had its perks but also had more than a few downsides. Y/N’s life hadn’t been easy , specially after her adoptive parents had kicked her out after she triggered her curse. Her temper had been pretty bad before she had triggered the curse and it had only gotten worse later on. Ever since that , she had gotten herself into a lot of fights and those fights had left scars. Not emotional ones , though those were there too but existing more in the form of really deep scratches , but physical ones. Y/N’s body had more than a few of them and some days she wore long sleeve shirts and jeans to cover them. That happened more frequently now that she had a boyfriend. It had been nearly 3 months since Y/N and Kai Parker , a vampire / witch hybrid , had become a couple. Unlike what everyone said about him , he was actually a really nice person when you give him a chance to show it. Yes , he had a temper but as long as no one crossed him or anything Kai was pretty chill , kind , loving and caring specially towards her. Y/N had gotten to know both sides and weirdly , the bad side had made her fall for him. Kai was hot , dangerous , charming , funny and he had been the one to find a way to tame her , in a way. Ever since they had met , her temper had cooled down completely. Their love for each other had began changing both of them. But there were still things they hadn’t done and every time Kai tried to do something and she pushed him away, Y/N felt angry with herself , as if she is holding him back in some way and afraid , knowing there is chance he might reject her after seeing how her body looks.

A quiet evening alone was just what she and her boyfriend needed with all the craziness happening around them lately. They sat on the couch with TV was buzzing , loud enough to disturb the silence , neither of them really paying attention to what was on the screen. Y/N could feel his eyes on her the entire time. “You know you look so beautiful with that side braid.” whispered Kai in her ear, placing his palm on her cheek. Y/N smiled shyly. “Even more beautiful when you smile.” Y/N turned towards him seeing him smile at her , slowly leaning in towards her before kissing her her gently. His lips were so soft , she could never get enough of them or him in general. Kai had a magic touch enough to make her go crazy for him just trailing his fingers across her arm or lightly brushing his fingers against her cheek. He backed slowly her against the couch , deepening the kiss as he did. His body pressed against hers firmly , pushing his crotch against hers making her moan into the kiss. Y/N felt a dozen butterflies flap their wings in her stomach starting to melt completely under his touch. He pinned her wrists over her head leaving kisses all the way to her jaw line , down her neck to her collarbone sucking on a spot marking her as his. It all felt so good , perfect and right and then his hand slipped under her shirt starting to pull it up her body. Y/N wriggled her wrists free and pushed him off her. “I um – I have to go take a shower.” she muttered smiling nervously , running up the stairs leaving Kai stare at her more confused than ever. He wondered what he had done wrong to get pushed away every time. It hurt him but there was something else , he could hear it in her heartbeat and see it in her eyes every time she found an excuse to push him away. A sigh left his lips and he headed upstairs , hearing the water starting to run in the shower. Kai sat on their shared bed trying to come up with an reason why she’d do this but came up empty. Not knowing was driving him insane. They trusted each other with everything , he loved that about their relationship. Whatever it was , why wouldn’t she just tell him like always?

Y/N took a little longer shower this time , trying to find a way to explain her reaction after getting out , coming up empty. About 30 minutes later she stepped out of the shower , wiping away the foggy mirror looking in her reflection for a moment - claw scratches , bite marks were covering her body here and there. A sigh left her lips and she wrapped a towel around her , walking out. Y/N closed the door and turned towards the bed finding Kai sitting there , leaning back on his hands starring at the bathroom door. “There she is. The hottest girl in town — no , the planet.” he grinned at her , starting to get up. In a flash he got to her , kissing her cheek and placing his hands on her waist. “We need to talk. This can’t go on like this.” “Like what ?” she sighed , taking a step away from him and going into the walk in closet. Kai’s eyes looked different , there were flashes of sadness mixed with confusion there and Y/N didn’t like seeing that in his eyes. She loved seeing them glow with happiness or with mischief. “Something is clearly bothering – ” he sighed. “We always tell each other everything but for some reason you have chosen to keep this a secret. I just don’t understand why you won’t tell me. It’s so confusing - every time I try something you just – you are there at first and then you just … shut down and run away.” “No , I don’t.” she lied , reaching for one of the longest shirts she could find in there. Y/N held it in front of her , making sure it’s long enough to cover her scars and turned towards Kai finding him closer than she had expected. “Don’t make me ask the question.” he said quietly. Y/N looked at him with a confused look in her eyes. Kai took a step towards her , gazing into her eyes raising his eyebrows a little. “No. Wait , I’m not a -” “- virgin?” he finished for her , seeing her blush. “Then what is it ? You don’t want to have sex with me ?” Y/N took a step towards him. “I do. It’s just I —” “You what ?” he asked with a small smile, brushing his thumb on her cheek before placing his hands on her waist. “You know I love you and won’t force into doing something you don’t want or like. I just want to know. Why wouldn’t you just tell me ?” “Kai , I – you know my past. I haven’t always been this calm.” she sighed. “There were days when I’d get into fights , one after the other. I just —” Kai studied her face. His girl looked so nervous , struggling to speak and her heart beat was so uneven. What could be so bad that she wouldn’t want to tell him ? “You can tell me anything Y/N.” he said softly, cupping her face “You know I won’t ever judge you. ” Y/N’s eyelids fluttered closed and she bit the inside of her cheek , struggling to force the words out. There was no right way to say it - she didn’t like how her body looked with all those marks , and there was no way for those scars to disappear. If Kai saw them he’d probably leave her and she didn’t want to lose him, ever , but she also knew she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever. “There are scars and I’m not – I don’t like my body.” she said quietly. “And you are not going to like it either so whats t-” Kai kissed her gently not letting her finish , unable to believe that has been the reason that makes her run every time. The most beautiful , smart , perceptive girl he has ever known , the only one who knows him truly perhaps even better than he knows himself and she still thought he’d reject her because of it. How could she even think that a few marks would change the way he sees her and feels about her ? “Let me see.” he said softly. Y/N shook her head. “Please ?” A sigh left her lips and she nodded. It was bound to happen at some point anyways. Kai untucked her towel letting it fall on the floor. His breath got hitched in his throat - there were scars here and there , some were small others were a little bigger but somehow those marks made him love her even more. They made her real , real people have flaws and he loved every single one of hers. He traced one of the scars gently with his fingertips a small smile spreading on his face hearing the change in her heart beat when he touched her bare skin. Y/N’s eyes kept darting everywhere but at him , not wanting to see the look on his face. Kai lifted her chin up , making her her to look into his eyes. “You are so beautiful.” said Kai softly. “You are just saying things.” she closed her eyes feeling his lips pressing onto hers , kissing her gently. “I’d never lie to you sweetheart , you know that.” he said softly lifting her up bridal style, carrying her to the bed. “If you don’t believe me then let me show you.” Kai let her down on the bed gently , brushing his palm against her cheek placing a soft kiss on her neck before rolling on top of her making his way down her body, kissing softly a scar almost at the middle between her breasts , then another not too far away from her belly button shaped like a crescent moon and trailing his fingertips across another one on her waist. He couldn’t comprehend how she could think he would reject her or stop loving her because of a few scars. It seemed unreal to him how someone would ever do that , specially to someone as kind and loving as her and that made him wonder if it had happened before. Kai kissed every square inch of body , feeling her relax more and more each time his lips touched her skin. He brushed his fingers against her heat , blowing a light stream of air on her clit making her shiver a little. “You are more beautiful than I ever thought.” he smiled crawling over her until their eyes met. “The most beautiful girl to ever walk on this Earth.” “Stop.” she smiled shyly , her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. “There is no one that even remotely compares -” “Stop.” she smiled widely. “- to your beauty.” said Kai smiling , trailing his fingertips across one of the scars then across another. “I love this one and this one and this one - ” “Kai , s-stop.” she started laughing when he started tickling her. “I love every part of you Y/N. Nothing is ever going to change that. ” he said smiling , pressing his lips onto hers kissing her gently. Y/N’s fingers tangled in his hair gripping on it lightly while his fingertips grazed across her skin down to her heat slowly rubbing circles on her clit making her moan into the kiss. Kai’s touch was making her feel on fire and she craved more and more but then he suddenly stopped. “We dont have to do anything if you don’t want.” he said pulling away from the kiss. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything -” Kai was being so gentle and sweet it melted her heart , just like always - he put her before him , being the sweetest carrying boyfriend ever. Everyone always saw him as a monster , someone with no emotions whatsoever but that wasn’t him. The real Kai was the exact opposite of what her friends saw when looking at him. “I know.” she smiled. “I want to.” Kai smiled widely at her , his lips colliding with hers again drowning her in a passionate kiss. He had wanted so many times to touch her like that , he could barely contain himself or decide what he want to do. Y/N’s hands traveled down his back , lightly grazing her fingertips across his back as she pulled his shirt over his head ,both of them smiling at each other. Her eyes were sparkling with love ,excitement and something else he couldn’t put his finger on. He brushed his nose against hers for a second , leaving kisses on his way down to her core , licking a stripe right through her middle, not taking his eyes off her hearing a soft moan tumbling off her lips. Kai placed his hands on her thighs parting them a little wider , sliding his tongue in her entrace curling it around while his nose brushed against her clit. He was gentle at first , slowly changing the tempo seeing how she responded to his touch. “You taste better than I could’ve ever imagined.” moaned Kai , enveloping her clit with his lips , slowly sucking and tugging on it. Y/N’s hands reached for him , tangling in his hair lightly gripping on it. She wanted more of him , sure she’d never be able to get enough of his magic touch. Each time his tongue swirled around her clit at a soft swift motion felt like a match being light up , setting her on fire again and again. “That feels amazing.” she moaned , pushing his mouth further on her while her hips pushed down on him. Kai moaned sending vibrations directly onto her clit while he continued devouring her with a hunger , building up the burning feeling in between her legs more and more each second. He replaced his tongue with his fingers - pushing them in slowly stretching her out , curling them around feeling every inch. Kai couldn’t tear his eyes off her , seeingher arch her back and throw her head back each time he pulled his fingers out , pushing them in again while nibbling on her clit. It was driving him completely insane , spurring him on to go faster. “Oh fuck , go f-faster..” she moaned and Kai’s fingers picked up the pace even more turning her moans into small screams , feeling her walls clench around them. Hearing his name roll off her lips spurred him on even more and he decided to drive her completely wild - cheating with his vampirism to pump his fingers faster in her pushing her right over the edge. Y/N whimpered and squirmed , her body starting to shake as her orgasm tore through her body , his fingers never slowing down or stopping. He felt his jeans tightening around him just looking at her fall apart because of him. Kai pulled his fingers out bringing them to his lips , moaning as he cleaned them up as if her juices were tastiest treat he has ever tasted. Y/N pulled him up , impatient to kiss him , rolling on top of him without breaking the kiss. Her hands roamed every inch of his chest while she made her way down his chest leaving kisses all the way not taking her eyes off him as her fingers started to undo the belt on his jeans but he stopped her , gripping her wrists. “Tonight’s not about me , sweet cheeks.” smiled Kai, pulling her up. He brushed his fingers through her semi dry hair , pulling her down for a kiss slowly rolling on top of her again. Y/N reached her hand between their bodies pushing its way in his jeans , palming him through his briefs. A low growl came from his throat , biting her lip at the end of the kiss. “Someone’s eager.” he grinned at her. “Don’t tell me you are not.” she beamed at him , trying to push her hand under his briefs. Kai got off the bed stripping down quickly before crawling back onto the bed with her. Y/N’s fingers wrapped around his lenght stroking him slowly , drawing slow circles on the head with her thumb , gathering the pre-cum. A quiet ‘oh’ left his lips and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling. His girl waited for him to open them , bringing her thumb on her lips tasting him on them. His eyes widened and he wanted her more than ever in that moment. “That has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do.” said Kai smashing his lips against hers. He took her hands , holding them on either side of her head intertwining his fingers with hers while slowly teasing her entrance with the tip of his lenght. Their eyes met and he thrusted inside her , entering her at once. Y/N’s back arched off the bed , a small gasp leaving her lips when he did before pulling out and sliding in again slowly , making her feel every inch of him as he did. A small smile spread across her face , both of them enjoying the moment they’ve both been wanting for so long. “You do know , you can go faster right ? I am not going to break. ” she teased , darting her tongue out licking his lip. Kai grinned at her , pressing his lips against hers as he picked up the pace slowly, filling her to the brim each time. Y/N could feel a knot starting to form in her stomach , each thrust hitting her spot bringing her closer to another release. She wondered how she had thought he would reject her. It seemed like such a silly fear in that moment , specially seeing the way he had reacted - so loving , kind and sweet. He was practically threating their first time together as if its her first time. Somehow that made her love him even more. “Fuck you’re so tight around me. I love it.” he grinned at her , his thrusts starting to a little harder. Kai rested his forehead on hers , his hot breath hitting her face every time his hard lenght pushed inside her , starting to knock out the air from her lungs. He was almost as eager as Y/N , pushing her hips down , meeting him half way. Her walls clenched around him , making her feel even tighter and a low growl came from deep inside his throat. It felt as if they were make for each other , a perfect match. Y/N held onto his hands a little tighter the closer she got to her release , her eyes pleading for him to go faster. “Fuck I’m so close. Don’t stop.” Their eyes met and Y/N smiled at him nodding slightly, feeling his length twitch inside her , a louder moan escaping his lips. Kai kissed her passionately, feeling her walls contract around him again. He let go off her hands and Y/N held onto his biceps while he continued to pump inside her a faster, making her entire body feel on fire. Kai was driving her crazier by the second , each thrust leaving her craving more of him. A little louder moan left his lips , feeling her walls clench around him again and her nails dig into his skin drawing blood. “Me too sweetheart.” he grunted , not slowing down for a second. His thick shaft twitched inside her a few seconds later and he reached his high , coming in hot spurts inside her almost a split second before came around him. Her fingers tangled in his hair tugging on it as her body shook under Kai’s , who rode throught both their orgasms until they were both finished. He collapsed onto the bed next to her , turning towards her to see her face while his fingertips trailed a scar he hadn’t noticed on her shoulder. Y/N turned her face towards him , grinning at him. “That was – definitely worth the wait.” he grinned. “I love you Y/N. I love you , all of you.” “I love you too -” she smiled at him , a devilish spark flashing in her eyes and she leaned in , hungrily pressing her lips against his. Y/N rolled on top of him not breaking the kiss , her lips getting more and more demanding by the second , tugging at his lip at the end of the kiss. “ - but we have a problem.” “What ?” he asked looking around startled. “Tell me , I’ll do anything -” “How am I ever going to get enough of you ?” she answered smiling widely. Kai grinned at her , trailing his fingers down her back , sending shivers all over her body. “Round two ?” Y/N bit her lip , looking at him with innocent eyes leaving kisses on her way down his chest. “Round two –”

MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

[reciprocityfic]

fires, chapter 4

Title: Fires Fandom: The Walking Dead Pairing: Rick x Michonne Rating: T Summary: “Because sometimes fires burn to make way for something new…something beautiful.“  The evolution of Rick and Michonne’s relationship as they prepare to go to war with The Saviors.  Canon-divergent.

 Author’s Note: GUYS I FINISHED THE STORY!

It was my hope to be able to finish and post this last chapter before the season 8 premiere, but I kept that a secret because I didn't want to tell you guys something and then not live up to my word (again). But I did it, and I'm so excited to share it with you!

I really want to thank you guys for all the support and encouragement you guys have given me throughout the course of me writing/publishing this fic. If you look back at the author's note before the first chapter, it says that I meant this to be a one-shot, and it got a little longer than I wanted it to so I was going to post it in two parts. Well, it ended up turning into the longest fic I've ever written, and I definitely attribute some of that to the kindness and graciousness of everyone who read and reviewed my little story.

Thank you for everything, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter!

xoxo, Rebekah

chapter one on tumblr, ao3 or ff.net.

chapter two on tumblr, ao3 or ff.net.

chapter three on tumblr, ao3 or ff.net.

chapter four on ao3 or ff.net.

CHAPTER 4: LIGHT

Judith starts to talk.

Nonsensical babbles gradually turn into sounds that resemble real words. Jumbled names are assigned to everyday objects. And the little girl tries to copy every noise she hears.

Her favorite things to say are hellos, goodbyes, and names.

The boys have it easy. Carl's name is a gently grunted 'Car' that can't quite tack the L sound onto its end just yet. And Rick is just an endless stream of 'Dadadadada's until he turns and gives Judith his attention.

Names are a conundrum for Michonne.

Her name is just a touch too soft and a touch too long for the baby to remember or pronounce. Plus, just 'Michonne' doesn't feel right for Judith. Not in her heart.

(And it scares her, a little bit, what that feeling could mean.)

So when Carl and Rick start the classic point-and-name game when they're all at home together, Michonne always jumps in quickly in case she needs to redirect, makes sure to show Judith innocuous objects that won't cause any awkwardness, and avoids that ever-nagging matter of names.

She can't do that forever, though.

It happens one afternoon when Rick is waiting at the gate for a visit from Ezekiel, and she's at home with Carl and Judith.

Carl is sitting on the couch, and Michonne is on the floor at his feet, Judith in her lap. Michonne keeps making funny faces and airplane noises, and Judith is squishing her cheeks and laughing, laughing, laughing.

"'Chonne?"

She looks up at the boy and gives him a small smile, before nudging his knees with her shoulder. She can tell he has something on his mind. He and his dad act the same when they're thinking: quiet, brooding, and squinty.

"What's up, bud? You've been quiet."

He laughs nervously, and looks away from her as he wrings his hands together.

"I'm fine."

"Enid problems?" she teases.

"Oh my God, no. And why would I tell you, even if there were?"

"Who else are you gonna go to?"

"I don't know," he mutters, biting his lip as he looks down at his sister. "Aren't I supposed to go to Dad for that kind of stuff?"

"Come on, Carl Grimes. Don't lie to me. You would come to me way before you went to your dad. And if not me, or your dad, who else? Daryl? Father Gabriel? I'm all you got, kid."

"It shouldn't have to be you or Dad," he groans. "Besides, that's not it."

"Okay, okay," Michonne relents, trying to hold back a laugh. "So it's not Enid."

She sings the girl's name, and Carl blushes and frowns, causing Michonne to chuckle again.

"What is it then, Grimes? Spit it out."

Carl takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth only to close it again a moment later. He frowns, and purses his lips, and the expression on his face immediately amuses Michonne to no end.

"You know," she says, as Judith reaches up and grabs a loc of her hair, "your dad gets the same exact pout on his face when he doesn't get his way."

Carl turns and glares at her, but she can see the mirth hidden deep in his eyes. He turns his face quickly, before his stern expression can break and give him away, and Michonne sighs before devoting her attention to the younger Grimes child once again, unsure when he'll let out whatever he's got rolling around in his mind, but knowing she won't be able to pull it out of him until he's ready to share.

She gets through two verses of "Bushel and a Peck" with Judith before Carl speaks again.

"Michonne?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you decided what you're gonna have Judy call you?"

She freezes, and her heart drops into her stomach. She's thought about it, a lot. She's tried not to, but it still rattles around in her brain incessantly, like a fly buzzing in her ear. And she's yet to come up with a good answer.

(Or maybe she has come up with one - a name that feels right in her heart and her soul - but is afraid of what that means for her. How much hurt it brought before, and how much it could bring again. Or maybe she fears Rick and Carl won't feel the same.)

Michonne blinks hard, once, then plasters a smile on her face a begins to bounce Judith on her knees, just a tad too fast.

"Hmm, I don't know, Judes," she says, working hard to make her voice sound light. "Your dad calls me 'Mich', and he's the only one, but I bet we could convince him to share with his Cutie Judy."

It's the best thing she can come up with on the spot, and she hopes it will satisfy Carl, at least for now. She bends her knees to lift Judith into the air, and then straightens them onto the ground again quickly. Judith squeals in delight, and reaches out for Michonne's face again.

"I think Judith should call you Mom."

Carl's words stop her world.

It's not that she doesn't want Judith to call her Mom. She does want it. Desperately. And that scares her - how much she wants it.

It scares her because that's it. It's the last step in claiming the Grimes children as unequivocally hers. Children that love her, and count on her. Children she would do anything for, protect to the ends of the earth. Children she would die for, without a second thought. Children she loves, with every cell in her body and every inch of her soul.

She's felt that way for them a long time, of course. But nothing - not even marrying Rick - has the power to solidify it like that name.

And here is Carl - this sweet, precious boy that she adores with every atom in her body - laying his heart and soul bare before her. Offering her not only his sister, she knows, but himself as well, in a way that's even independent of their father.

She wants it, but it scares her. Because she remembers what happened the last time.

She can still see Andre's blood on her hands. She can feel what was left of his body limp in her arms. She still remembers standing over the makeshift grave of her brilliant, brave, beautiful baby boy.

She's healed, but she's scarred. She can still feel that missing piece of her heart. The pain has dulled, but it's still there. It will always be there, and that's okay. It's even good, in a way. It's what she has to remember him by. It's proof that he was with her. That he was real, and he was here, and he was hers.

If she were to lose a child again, she didn't know if she could come back from it.

"I've heard you and Dad say that Judith and I are your kids," Carl says, his voice pulling her from her thoughts. "And I don't mind it. I like it. It feels right. You're part of our family. An important part. You have been for a long time, but now you're officially a Grimes."

He pauses, and she chances a look at him. He's gazing at her with a soft smile on his face.

"I think it would be nice to call you Mom, sometimes."

She can't help but smile at that.

"And Judith…" he continues. "Okay, so Dad's, like, super crazy in love with you. You're not going anywhere, unless he screws up big time. Or if you want to leave for some reason."

"You're gonna have to drag me out of here kicking and screaming if you want to get rid of me, Grimes. I'm super crazy in love with your dad, too. Lucky for him, right?" she teases.

"Right," he agrees, and they smile slyly at each other, before Carl takes another breath.

"But, 'Chonne...you're the only mom Judith's ever gonna know."

Michonne smiles gently, her heart swelling as he repeats the same exact words Rick had said to her, not that long ago.

"Your dad told me the same thing."

"He's right," Carl tells her. "And I talked to him about Judith calling you Mom, and he agrees. He thinks it's a good idea, and that it feels right, you know?"

He drops his gaze to his sister.

"I think Judith should get to call someone Mom."

She doesn't realize she's crying until Judith starts to wipe at her cheek. She turns and finds the little girl looking up at her with an uncertain frown and a quivering bottom lip.

"It's okay, Judy," she tells her, pulling the baby closer and rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back. "I'm happy, not sad. I'm happy."

"So, is that a yes?" Carl asks from behind her. "To Judith calling you Mom?"

And Carl's voice is so hopeful that she could never say no. Not that she wants to. It's dangerous, and scary, but it's worth the risk. These kids - this entire family - will always be worth every risk and every battle she must face for them.

"Yes, it's a yes! Now get up and get over here."

She stands with Judith and then wraps her free arm around Carl and pulls him into her.

And she stands in the middle of the living room and holds these two children who she loves with her entire heart. These children who helped save her and continue to save her every single day.

Her children.

"Now I probably won't only call you Mom, because you're my friend, too," Carl says.

"That's fine," Michonne tells him, "but don't think you can go around calling me 'Mom' when you're in a good mood and 'Michonne' when you're mad at me. 'Cause that ain't gonna fly."

They both laugh, and then Judith starts to whine and push them apart. Michonne smiles at her and says, "Okay, Judes, you need your space. We get it."

"Oh!" Carl exclaims as they take a step apart, with a snap of his fingers. "Judith and I have something we want to show you."

He turns to his sister in a flash, and Michonne watches the two of them, curious and amused.

"Judith, who am I?"

"Car!"

"And what's that?" Carl asks, pointing towards the ceiling.

"Sky!" Judith shouts, lifting her hands over her head.

Carl pokes Judith in the belly and asks, "Who's that?"

"Me!"

"That's right! It's Judy!"

"Dee!"

"And who's that?"

Michonne is still laughing at Judith's last answer, and it takes her a moment to realize she's the only person left in the room.

When she does realize it, her heart stops. And she doesn't have time to prepare herself for what comes next. Doesn't know if she ever could prepare herself, even if she had all the time in the world.

"Ma!" Judith exclaims. "Ma, ma, ma!"

Michonne closes her eyes, and all she sees is Andre.

The first time he said Momma. Putting him to bed at night, reading him stories and singing him songs and leaving his room with his delicate, 'Goodnight, Momma, I love you,' still ringing in her ears. His voice as he came barrelling into her and Mike's room on Saturday mornings. How it felt to see him after she came home after a long day of cases and paperwork.

How it felt when she saw him after she came back from that run.

And it hurts. It hurts, and she lets it hurt, for a little while.

But when she opens her eyes, she finds a baby girl staring up at her who just called her Momma.

She never thought anyone would ever call her that again. And now that she has it back, she's not letting anyone ever take it from her. They'll have to kill her first.

"That's right," Michonne coos, as she bursts into tears. She pulls her closer and presses a kiss onto Judith's forehead. "I'm your Momma. Momma's here, Momma's here…"

"What'd I miss?"

Michonne, Carl, and Judith are so wrapped up in each other and in the moment that they don't even hear Rick come home, and all three of them jump when they hear his voice in the living room.

But as soon as Carl recovers, he tells his dad eagerly, "Judy called Michonne Mom!"

Rick’s answering smile is brilliant. He looks so damn happy, and it makes Michonne cry even harder. He walks over to stand behind the three of them, wrapping an arm around Michonne's stomach.

"Is that right, sweetheart?" Rick asks gently. "Is this your Momma?"

"Ma!" Judith shouts again. "Ma, ma, ma, ma!"

Rick laughs, which makes Judith laugh, and she reaches out for him.

"Dadadadadadada…"

"Yeah, I know. Dadadada," Rick says, a smile still in his voice. He reaches out for Judith, but makes a face.

"God, did your noses stop working while you were having your moment? She stinks."

Michonne leans down and sniffs.

"Oooh," Michonne groans. "Sorry, Judes. He's right. You're smelly."

"Go change your sister," Rick instructs Carl, handing Judith to him.

"Why do I have to do it?"

"Because I just got home, and I want to talk to Judith's mom. She's beautiful, and I want to see if she'll give me her number."

Carl sighs and rolls his eye and he turns to walk out of the room, muttering under his breath, "You're the cheesiest person on Earth," as he leaves.

Rick and Michonne laugh as Carl starts up the stairs, and then they turn towards each other and press their lips together. When they separate, Rick still has a slight smile on his face, and brings his hand up to wipe at some leftover tears under her eye with his thumb, before he cups her cheek.

"So. Momma, huh?"

"Yeah," she whispers. "Momma."

"How do you feel?"

"Happy," she answers immediately. "I'm so happy, Rick."

He nods, and then leans in to kiss her again, softly.

Me, too," he murmurs against her lips.

*                               *                               *

She loves watching Rick with Judith.

Rick is the best man she's ever know, and not just for the way he protects, or leads, or fights, or sacrifices. Not just for the way he gives himself - his time, his energy, his care and concern, his safety and well-being, his blood and his sweat and his tears - for, often, so little in return.

It's for the friend he is, and the brother he is. It's for the husband he is. It's for the way he always thinks of her, even when there are one thousand other things running through his mind. It's for the way he smiles at her when they're home and alone at night, and how he makes her laugh, no matter how hard or tiring their days have been. It's for the way he knows her, inside and out. Knows her voice, and her body, and her heart and her mind and her soul. Knows when to encourage her, when to console her, when to challenge her, and when to simply lay down and hold her, for hours on end, whispering sweet words against her skin that seep into her heart and strengthen her.

And it's for the father he is.

She's only known Carl for the smallest fraction of his life, but she wishes she had been there for all of it. And not for just having the privilege of knowing him, and loving him.

But also to see Rick care for him.

She's heard stories from the others, of times before she knew them. Of the way he'd traveled all the way to Atlanta, alone and having no idea what he'd find, from his small town to get to him and Lori. She's listened to them tell her about Rick racing with his son in his arms to Hershel's farm after he'd been shot, and how he'd sat unwavering at Carl's bedside, pouring his own blood from his arm without hesitation so that his son could live.

She'd watched him limp back to a burning prison, badly injured and barely able to hold himself up, the thought of retreating without finding Carl not entering his mind for even a second. The concept of losing him not one he was willing to entertain in the slightest.

She'd watched him rip a man's throat out with his teeth, because it was the only option he had. It was what had to be done. And then she'd watch him gut another man, brutally and thoroughly and without mercy, for trying to harm them.

And she'd heard him accept it, that this was the way things were now. That he had changed. That he was different now, but there was no other way for him to live, anymore. It was who he needed to be. He was different now, but that was okay, if that was what it took to protect his child. To protect his family.

(And when she looks back on it, she thinks that was when she'd fallen in love with him. She didn't realize it for a while, of course, but in that moment, he'd cemented himself deep in her heart.)

She remembers clearing a path through a horde of dead for him, as he ran behind her with his son in his arms. His son, shot and bleeding and barely clinging to life. She remembers the fear that twisted his features and settled into the lines on his face as he sat at Carl's side. But she also remembers the determination there. The resolve, to make things okay again.

And she can still see so vividly, that horrific day in the clearing. See Carl spread out on the ground, vulnerable and helpless. She can feel her heart in her throat, as she knelt there, powerless to help the two most important people to her, the ones she loved most in the world. She can feel her chest constrict and her breath leave her as Rick is put in that impossible position.

She remembers how he plead, and how he begged. She can hear him offer himself in his son's place, his anguished voice yelling out into the still, early morning. She can see the tears fall down his face in torrents, see sobs wrack and heave in his chest as his body trembled.

She can see him bending, and surrendering, and she remembers thinking it was the strongest, bravest thing she'd ever seen anyone do.

After she'd lost Mike at the refugee camp - Mike, along with everything else she loved - she thought of him often. For God's sake, she used to talk to him. But then she'd found Andrea, and she'd found the prison, and she stopped talking. She started thinking of him less. And then, she'd befriended Rick, and she started thinking of him less. There were pieces of him she stopped holding onto. And during that night on the couch, with Rick, she'd finally let the last of him go.

But before she did, she forgave him.

She'd loved Mike. She had been happy with him, and she'd loved him, wholly and undoubtedly. And maybe in the world before, they could've made it to forever.

But he wasn't built for this world. Not him, and not Terry. He didn't know how to cope, and he didn't know how force himself to change - not because he wanted to, but because he had to. Because it was the only way to survive now. It was the only way he could help care for their group.

It was the only way he could protect Andre.

But he couldn't see that, and he didn't change. He couldn't, and perhaps somewhere buried inside him, there was a part of him that didn't want to.

Andre had died.

She missed Mike terribly after he was gone, but there were moments, both long and short, when she hated him. Sometimes, her heart beats with a sharp pang, and she thinks she might still hate him, even through the clemency she's given him.

But the pain always leaves, along with the animosity. Most of the time, it takes seeing Rick with Judith for that strange peace to settle over her. A peace that, at a time not so long ago, she'd never thought she'd feel again.

She loves watching Rick and Judith.

She loves the way he holds her, hands that are capable of so much violence caressing the little girl with the gentlest of touches. She loves the way he smiles with her, and is silly with her, and laughs with her in a way that almost could make her forget of the horror outside their home, if she were to simply close her eyes. She loves watching him play with her. She loves hearing him talk with her, often in full conversations, as if the baby could understand every single word coming out of his mouth. She loves watching him read to her, and rock her, and sing to her softly as she falls asleep.

She loves the adoration that shines in his eyes as plain as day, whenever her looks at her, or talks about her. When someone so much as mentions her.

She loves how much he loves her, above anything else.

How much he loves her, despite the circumstances of her conception, and the conflict that had grown out of control, simply because she existed. Despite her arrival to the world, and the trauma it brought. The loss it had heaped upon both him and his son.

How much he loves her, even though she is not his blood. Even though she was created and born out of the greatest pain of his entire life.

In spite of everything, he'd taken her. He'd cared for her. He'd adopted her and raised her as his own.

She is his child. She is his daughter, and he loves her, with everything he is. He'll protect her to the ends of the earth.

The beauty of it takes her breath away. And often, she'll find herself taking a beat and simply watching them, letting the overwhelming affection she feels for both of them thump in her chest.

Sometimes, in quiet moments, she'll let her thoughts drift to her son. Her Andre. She'll look at her love, and their daughter, and she'll allow herself to imagine that things had been different.

And that is what happens, now, as they sit next to each other on their bed on an increasingly rare ordinary evening. Carl has retired to his room for the night, and even though it's well past Judith's usual bedtime, she lays on Rick's chest instead of in her crib. Her little mouth hangs open as she breathes deeply and steadily, and her eyes have long fallen closed, but Rick still hums softly over her, some twangy country song that Michonne hadn't listened to before, or probably even heard.

She watches them, quiet but focused, and pictures her baby boy. She remembers the times he fell asleep in her arms, his mouth open in the same way as Judith's. She thinks of how it would be, if he was here now, cuddled next to her, sleeping the same way as the tiny girl.

She thinks of what could have happened, if he had lived. If he had made it here, with her.

She imagines Rick with him.

She pulls in a sudden, rough breath as the image fills her head, and her eyes blur with tears before she can even register what's going on.

"Mich?"

She nearly jumps when she hears Rick's voice, and blinks twice, wiping at the few tears that manage to escape her eyes before lifting her head and focusing on him. He's stopped his song, and looks at her now with concern darkening the blue of his eyes, a crease forming between his eyebrows as his lips turn down into a frown.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head, and rubs at her cheeks again.

"Michonne," he murmurs lowly, reaching out and running his fingers down her arm before settling his hand over hers as it rests on the mattress between them.

He doesn't say anything else, but the silence between them is loaded, and heavy. She can tell he's waiting for her to continue. Hoping for her to continue. And there's a loud, stubborn part of her that doesn't want to. That wants to bury this ache in her chest, and hide her son away for as long as she's able.

But she finds the larger part doesn't want to keep anything from Rick. She doesn't want there to be any secrets between her and her husband, and she wants to give him this final piece of her. To give him all of it, and not just passing references and vague allusions.

She starts to play with his fingers, slowly, as more tears well in her eyes.

"I was just...thinking about Andre," she whispers. "I was imagining what it would be like if he was here, with us now."

He doesn't say anything for a bit, and she keeps playing with his fingers as an irrational nervousness begins to crawl into her bones.

But then, he begins to gently tug on her hand.

"Come here," he says, and she goes to him immediately, closing the small space between them and burrowing into his side. He wraps his arm around her and begins to rub circles into her shoulder with his thumb as she brings one of her hands up to rest on Judith's back.

She feels his lips press against the top of her head, and then his voice rumbles in his chest.

"Will you tell me about him?"

The corners of her mouth turn up the slightest bit, and she nods against him, inhaling and exhaling deeply before she starts.

"He was beautiful," she says, and doesn't even try to stop the tears from falling now, as they roll down her face and onto his gray shirt, soaking into the soft cotton. "He had Mike's skin and his nose, but he had my eyes and my smile. Everyone said he looked just like me. Mike used to joke that he was jealous, that I'd gotten a little mini-me, despite the fact that he was a boy."

She lets herself laugh lightly, just for a second, and she feels his arm tighten around her.

"He loved books. He loved to read. He had only just turned three, but I was already starting to teach him how to read. He was the smartest kid in his preschool class. He was so smart, Rick."

She pauses, running the back of her hand down Judith's spine before moving it to smooth over her blonde curls. Somehow, she manages to twist herself further into Rick.

"He loved animals," she tells him. "We had a cat, named Milo, and they were best friends. He loved trains. He loved to paint. His favorite color was green. He was always moving, and we were always headed to the park, or the museum or the aquarium. He told me that when he grew up, he was going to be a lawyer, like me, but a baseball player, too. And he made sure to let us know that he didn't want to work in a boring office like Daddy."

"Of course not," Rick chimes in, and she can hear the smile in his voice.

"He was funny, and he loved finding jokes that he could tell to Mike and me," she whispers. "He was kind, and thoughtful, and brave. He was the best kid I knew, and I swear I'm not just saying that because he's mine. He was amazing, Rick."

She takes a shaky breath, and shifts, turning her face up to him.

"And I miss him. I miss him every moment, of every day."

Rick's own eyes begin to shine, and he bites down on his bottom lip as he tilts his head down to rest his cheek on top of her head.

"I wish I would've met him, Michonne," he says, and the longing in his voice rings and echoes over her eardrums. "I wish I could've known. I wish he was here with us, and with Carl and Judith."

She nods, and moves her head out from under his so she can look at him, and she can't help the bittersweet smile that breaks out on her face as she reaches up and cups his jaw.

"He would have loved you," she says, and she means it. She believes it, with her entire being.

She knows it. There isn't a doubt in her mind.

Rick's lips twitch up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she confirms, the smile staying with her. She begins to run her fingertips over the long stubble on his face. "He would have seen your boots, and your gun, and Carl's hat and your denim shirts, heard your accent, and thought you were a real-life cowboy protecting us from all the bad guys."

It takes a moment for her to realize what she's said, but when she does, the smile drops off her face, and all the air flows out of her lungs.

And she thinks she can feel her heart literally begin to break apart.

Neither of them speak right away, as the atmosphere in the room takes on a weight that wasn't present before. But then, he begins to move, being careful not to wake Judith as he rearranges them, so that his face lies only inches from hers.

"I would've protected him, Michonne," he tells her softly.

She nods her head with a jerk, and shuts her eyes forcefully, trying and failing to keep the liquid that's threatening to fall furiously down her face inside her lids.

"I would've kept him safe," he breathes. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to him."

"I know," she says, her voice breaking. "I know."

He manages to pull her into him mere seconds before she falls apart, and she buries her face in the crook of his neck and begins to sob.

She cries for her baby, who she misses with everything she is. For her angel, taken from her far too soon, given a fate that he absolutely didn't deserve. She cries for the part of her heart that is gone. The part that is dead, and will be for the rest of her life.

She cries, and he holds her, whispering against her temple and ghosting his lips over her skin. She doesn't know how long they lie together like that, but eventually, her tears begin to slow, and she starts to breathe again. When her heart returns to its mostly-normal rhythm, she pulls back to look into his eyes, and finds them red and wet and swollen. She frowns, and rests her hand on his cheek once again, feeling the ever-present, automatic urge to comfort him.

She tells him, gently, "You would've loved him."

He smiles sadly, his lips pressed together, and brings his forehead forward to rest against hers.

"You would have loved him so much, Rick."

"I already love him, Mich."

Her heart jumps at his words, and she pulls back just enough to find his gaze, her eyes widening as he stares back at her.

"He's part of our family," he tells her passionately. "He's part of you, so that means he's part of us, too. And I love him. I've loved him from the first day I found out about him."

And she can see the sincerity in his eyes. He's not just saying it to comfort her, or placate her. He means it.

He loves him. Her Andre.

"I love him," he murmurs again, moving his forehead to rest against hers once more. "I love him so much, baby."

She expects to cry again, to feel the pressure behind her eyes as water gathers once more.

But she doesn't.

Instead, that same peace she feels when she watches Rick and Judith washes over her, stronger than it ever has before. She drowns in it. It fills her entire soul.

Andre lingers there with her, but he feels different, suddenly. It's like she's not alone with him anymore. Instead, he's there with all three of them - cuddled up with her, Rick, and Judith.

And it's different. It's warm.

She closes her eyes, places a gentle kiss on Rick's lips before lacing her fingers through the curls that gather at the nape of his neck.

She breathes with him, feels Judith snuggled between them. She feels Andre settled in her mind, and in her heart.

And for the first time since she lost him, he doesn't hurt.

*                               *                               *

She can't exactly pinpoint when her thoughts begin to shift.

Judith starts to spend more and more long evenings in their room, as their schedules become increasingly hectic as they continue to inch closer to war with each passing day. They'll send Judith to Hilltop soon. All three of them - her, Rick, and Carl - are dreading the moment they'll have to part with her, but they know she will be safer there. They know it's the best way to protect her, so it's what they decide to do, without a question or a single breath of hesitation.

But they can already feel themselves begin to miss her, and so they begin to steal away any time with her they can find. And when the sun sets and Alexandria begins to settle as another day dwindles to a close, they're given a perfect opportunity.

They take turns holding her at night, the one who doesn't curling into the other's side and letting their hands wander until they're wrapped comfortably around the two people lounging with them.

And there are some nights, of course, when Judith crawls into their bed with energy to spare, and she'll bounce back and forth between the two of them, cooing and babbling and clapping, until she tires herself out and settles on one of their chests.

And it is in those quiet moments, after Judith has fallen asleep, as her and Rick sit together and breathe each other in, occasionally passing sweet whispers and kisses back and forth, that her thoughts typically drift to Andre, now that she feels free to remember him without that white-hot pain forcing itself through her veins. She thinks about what he would be like at this age, how he would feel nestled beside her, how he'd look sitting and smiling with Rick.

And she can't exactly pinpoint when her thoughts begin to shift. They move so slowly at first, that she doesn't even know they're moving at all. She doesn't notice anything's changed until one ordinary night, as she watches Judith sleep on Rick. She imagines Andre sitting between them, his head lolling on Rick's shoulder. And it makes her smile for a moment, before her eyes close and her mouth opens in a wide yawn. She shakes her head back and forth, as if trying to rid herself of her tiredness, before she opens her eyes.

And her stomach lurches, as she finds that Andre replaced by someone she doesn't know.

She frowns and sits up slightly, blinking again and again, rubbing her eyes and trying to will the stranger in her bed to go away and give her back her baby boy. She feels the bed rock as Rick shifts, but she can't bring herself to acknowledge him because she can't tear her eyes away the child before her.

"Michonne?" she hears him ask, picking up on the slight edge of worry in his voice. She closes her eyes and shakes her head once more, in a last ditch effort to remove this mirage from her brain.

But she has no such luck, and the child lingers in her peripheral vision as she finds Rick's gaze, his mouth slightly open and his blue eyes swimming with concern as they search her face.

She grows nervous, suddenly, under his intense stare. She drops her eyes almost on reflex, before she can remember that's what she's trying to avoid. And by the time she realizes it, it's too late.

She sees the strange child sitting in front of her, his body pressed against Rick's. And now he's turned around, so he can stare at her, with a curious pair of bright, blue eyes.

Bright blue eyes.

Her heart stops. She moves her gaze from the child to Rick, back to the child, back to Rick, before she leans back so she can take in both of them at the same time.

Two boys - one she knows, the other she doesn't - looking back at her with two pairs of shocking blue eyes.

With the same pair of bright, clear, beautiful blue eyes.

"Michonne," he says again, more forcefully, grabbing her arm and shaking gently for a moment, trying to pull her out of her thoughts. It still takes her moment to look at him, to pull her eyes away from the ghost sitting between them. But once she does - looks at his lovely face, his expression lined with love and concern for her. That face, which she's come to know so well, and adore so dearly, that she's convinced she could just close her eyes and trace her fingers over its features and still be able to identify as belonging to the man in front of her.

And suddenly, she knows the little boy beside her.

She reaches up and strokes her hand over his forehead before trailing it down his cheek, while she brings her other palm up to rest over her stomach, without even thinking.

He stays quiet, turning his head slightly for a moment so he can plant a light kiss against her skin before straightening and looking back at her, his face curious, but patient. He's waiting for her to speak, she can tell, to share what's come over her so suddenly and weighed so heavily on her heart.

Her mouth goes dry, and there's a part of her that doesn't want to share this with him, that's afraid to conjure up demons from his past that will haunt and hurt him.

But she doesn't know how to keep things from him - especially this - and the words slide up her throat and push past her lips before she can even think of stopping them.

"Do you...ever wonder what our baby would look like? What they would look like, if we ever had one?"

His face goes blank, and she curses herself internally. She shouldn't have said anything. She knew she would hurt him.

"Rick…" she begins, trying to come up with a way to fix this.

But then, a beaming smile breaks out onto his face, and her words trail off as butterflies do somersaults in the pit of her stomach. He reaches up and holds her hand against his cheek with his, nuzzling his face against her skin before speaking.

"Yeah. Yeah, Mich, I do."

And now it's her turn to smile at him, scooting closer to his side and curling her fingers around his jaw.

"So?" she prompts. "What do you think?"

"Well," he begins, drawing out the word for an extra beat. "Hopefully, they'd look exactly like you, with little to no interference from me."

She rolls her eyes and takes her hand off his face to punch him in the arm playfully. She bites back her grin at the tiny exclamation of pain that escapes him.

"Be serious, Grimes," she scolds, trying to hold back the smirk that threatens to turn up the corners of her mouth as she watches the smallest pout form on his lips.

"I am serious. But really, it doesn't matter to me what they look like, as long as they're ours."

His words make her whole body sing, especially the last one that falls from his lips - ours. She can't stop her smile from bursting back onto her face as she looks at him, his voice echoing in her ears. As she thinks of their child.

Their baby.

His face softens suddenly as he gazes at her, and his eyes brighten. He reaches his hand out, pushing a loc of her hair behind her ear and then tracing his fingers along her cheekbone.

"Except that smile," he murmurs gently. "I definitely want them to have your smile."

She takes his hand from her face and laces their fingers together.

"I want him to have your eyes," she whispers into the stillness of the room, so softly, as if someone outside could hear her and steal away their dream if she wasn't careful enough. "And I want him to have your nose."

"My nose?" he questions, his face scrunching in confusion. "Why my nose?"

"You have a perfect nose."

She leans forward and presses her lips across the bridge of it to emphasize her point, and then runs her index finger along its smooth, perfect slope and down his face to rest on his full lips.

"And he?" he asks, taking her hand from him and pulling her into his side. "Why he?"

She shrugs, and leans her head on his shoulder. The little boy pops back into her mind.

"Just a feeling."

He hums, and then they let the quiet settle back over the room. She settles her palm on Judith's back again, playing with the ends of her blonde curls that seem to grow inches every day as the little girl continues to sleep.

"Michonne?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to have a baby with me?"

Her breath hitches at his question, even though it's the one she's been hoping he'd ask throughout their conversation, if she was honest. She sits up again, and turns to him. That soft expression has returned to his face, and it makes tears well up in her eyes.

She's nodding before she can even think about it, and it scares her - to want that again. She never dreamed she would. Not after what happened to Andre. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't want it.

God, how she wants it.

She doesn't realize she's actually started crying until she feels his fingers wiping under her eye, and she glances up at his face and finds that his own eyes have begun to shine, and when he shifts and catches her gaze, he smiles tentatively.

"I want that, too," he tells her.

She nods again, more forcefully this time, and then she crashes her lips into his, barely managing to mind their daughter still laying on his chest.

She kisses him until she can't breathe, and then for a few more moments after that. They finally separate and rest their foreheads against each other, their lips parting with a smack and their chests heaving.

"But we can't," she nearly whimpers, her tears still falling, the words shattering her heart as they form and leave her mouth. "Not with Negan. Not with the war. We could never risk their lives like that. It's too dangerous."

"It is too dangerous," he agrees, and she feels her heart break a little bit more. For some reason, she almost thought he would contradict her and manage to change her mind, even though she knows without a doubt that she's right.

But he keeps speaking.

"Now it's too dangerous. But after the war is over, Mich. After we win this thing."

He pulls back so that he can catch her gaze as he speaks, and the fire and determination she sees in his eyes is so resolute and unwavering that it makes her heart flutter.

"After we win this, we can have our baby. We can have our wedding, and we can have our baby."

And she believes him. She closes her eyes and pulls his face back to hers, and she loves him and she trusts him and she believes him.

"We can have our baby," she repeats.

Their baby. Something that they made together, just the two of them, all on their own. Something that no one else can own or touch or claim.

Just theirs.

They kiss again, slowly and deeply, and after they pull away she settles back into him, laying her head on his chest, right next to Judith. The baby's soft exhales wash over her face as she breathes, and then she feels Rick snake his free arm around her middle and rest his large, strong hand right over her stomach, and she smiles.

"We're gonna have everything we want," he says. He swears.

And she believes him.

*                               *                               *

The next morning, a Savior with burns on his face, named Dwight, shows up at their front gates.

Their first instinct is to shoot him, and they nearly do, but he swears that he's on their side, that he hates Negan too, that he can go back to The Sanctuary and be their inside man. That he can be their spy.

So they don't shoot him, and after hours and hours of interrogation, they opt to trust him.

Every cell in her body rebels against the decision, but by that point, they don't really have any other choice. Dwight could be lying, still be aligned with Negan, and be here to gather information about their plans for war. But if that's the case, they're already fucked, and there's nothing they can do about it.

They could kill him, but if Dwight is as close to Negan as he says he is, The Saviors would be sure to come looking. They would tear apart Alexandria trying to find a trace of him. And they would uncover all their preparations.

So they trust him, and hope and pray that he's telling the truth. And then they send him on his way. But before he goes, he warns them that Negan is bringing men to Alexandria tomorrow, and not for a simple pick-up.

And just like that, before any of them even have a chance to blink, it's decided. Their war will start tomorrow.

They spend the rest of the day taking all the last-minute measures they can. They put weapons in place, send messengers to the other communities to tell them to get ready. They take Judith to Hilltop, where she will stay for the duration of the war, as long as it remains the safest place.

They work until there's no more daylight, and they assign guard shifts. Then, those who are free go home to get as good a rest as they can before tomorrow's first battle.

And as she lays in bed with Rick, facing him, skin against skin and heart against heart, she does her best to take in every part of him - every inch of him - and cement and seal it in her soul. To memorize him so thoroughly that no one will ever be able to pull him from her, no matter how hard they may try.

He holds her close, running his lips over her face continuously, occasionally pausing to press them harder to a specific spot. She rests her hands on his chest, smoothing her fingers over his scars and inhaling him again and again.

"We're gonna have our wedding," he breathes. "And we're gonna have our baby."

She nods, and kisses the scar Morgan's stab wound left on his chest all that time ago.

"We're gonna spend the rest of our lives being happy," he says.

She kisses that spot again, and then tilts her chin up so she can look into his eyes. His blue eyes - so full, so fierce, and so resolute.

"We're gonna win," she tells him. "And we're gonna live."

We're the ones who live.

He pulls her closer to him, somehow, nudges his leg between hers and buries his face in the crook of her neck, but she grabs his face between her hands and pulls it away from her, taking a moment to rake her eyes over his face before she brings his lips to hers, trying to pour everything she feels into kissing him. It's an impossible task, but she tries anyways, and he kisses her back like he's been wandering in the desert and she's the first water he's seen for weeks.

They part, and he places one more peck on both her top and bottom lip before moving his mouth to her ear.

"We're gonna have everything we want," he whispers.

She smiles, tightens her arms around him.

And she believes him.

We're the ones who live.

A/N: As I said before, I would really love to write a sort of sequel/companion piece to this, but it's definitely not going to be right away, and I'm not even going to put any specific timeline on it. I have other stuff I want to work on right now (still Richonne, no worries there, lol) but I need a break from this universe for a little bit. That being said, keep an eye out for it, because you never know when it might pop up.

Again, thank you so much for reading my story, and have fun watching the season 8 premiere today! I'm so excited to see Rick and Michonne, I missed them so much.

*blows kisses*

[megans-writes]

Jenny

I can see by the way the boy looks at me that something is incorrect. His line of sight follows my path down this moving trail, and though I cannot turn my head I feel the heat of his stare, searing through my metal. Distinctly, something turns in my head, and I can feel it move, whirring with a quiet force that ripples through my machinery. One by one I detect these movements, like a scattering of small creatures throughout. These clicks and bolts find their places in an irritating clamor, but I sense that only I can hear them, for as I turn the corner the boy has already turned his head and is staring with a blankness out of a small circular window. 

One by one I am aware of several things. I am aware of the boy's texture, something that from far away I am able to sense with a rich lucidity. It is porous, smooth, and continuous. It is warm. In microseconds I calculate every comparison between this creature and myself, and I store it away as effortlessly as the boy takes in each breath and releases it. I am aware that he and I are not alone. The structure in front of me mimics every motion of an appendage I generate, and in seconds I recognize my reflection, that the light of my image is bouncing off of a structure bearing exact resemblance to the millions of other androids aboard this moving platform.

I sense his stare and at once I cease all movement. He walks towards me, but he is not fast enough as I and the millions of others behind me turn another corner and enter a small channel devoid of all light. I wonder if these other machines are sensing these same things before my gears soften, dwindle, then click to a stop. At once I see nothing.

—

"Do you like her, honey?"

A pause. "I've already got one.”

The higher voice comes from the woman. She is slender, petite, and with hair so light it is nearly white. I can tell she is young by the nuances of her voice and the way she carries herself. I see the man next, sitting on the bed beside her. They are both looking at me, critical.

"I know you do," says the woman. "I got you another one for your birthday. Her name's Jenny. Say hi, Jenny.”

Again, the stares. I analyze the expressions on their faces, a look of expectancy from the woman, and a near incredulity from the man. I sense that something is wrong. She has given me a command, yet I see no reason to follow it. I do not know these people.

I watch her as she stands up from the bed and nears my line of sight. She gives me several small taps on the side of my head, clink clink, with the hard growths on the tips of her fingers. At once I feel a strong dislike for this woman.

"I don't know, James." Her face is inches from my own, scrutinizing me like I had her. "She's supposed to be top notch, one of the most up to date androids they've got. They're supposed to take orders in the blink of an eye.”

The man stands up with surprising speed, given his apparent disinterest earlier on. "It's alright," he says. "I love it." Something is strange with the way he says this. His voice is low, but not flat, soft, but still audible. I look again at his face, taking it into memory. His eyes are a rich brown, almost like the desk behind him yet much lighter, and less harsh. I do not know the exact color. There is life in them, yet now I sense a restlessness. He is no older than the woman, I think.

My contemplation falters as she stands abruptly. Her face has twisted slightly, revealing lines on her features that were not there before. "It's not good enough." She walks briskly across the room, the patter of her shoes loud against the wooden floor. She turns to look at the man, who has sat back on the bed, unchanged, unmoved. In what little light is seeping through the windows, I can sense the coldness of her stare. "You're always trying to get rid of me. It's never good enough. Nothing will ever be good enough.”

The man moves slightly. "Cecilia, wait.”

But she is gone. The soft breeze outside whistles in, brushing against the curtains, tickling the fabric with cool air. I watch the man watching this, his eyes affixed, as if there is nowhere else in the room to look at. I cannot decipher what is in his eyes now. I feel that I must do something, for now the woman has left and he is sitting there, alone. I wonder if he is still alive.

"Hello, James.”

He is startled. At once his eyes are upon me, the rich brown with flecks of green, pupils large. I wait for him to respond, to his hear his voice again. We look at each other for a while, immobile, silent. Before I can say anything, he tears his eyes from mine, and turns. He walks away, hesitantly at first. He stops halfway and I cannot see what for as his back is turned towards me. I watch his hand curl into a fist, slowly, as he resumes his pace and leaves the room.

The light fades and the room is soon dark. I feel my insides slowing, abating to a soft hum. I wonder if he will come back.

—

The days go by. Every time he does not come back until near dusk, and when he does, he is exhausted. He drops his suitcase by the door and walks to his window, staring out, seeing something that is not there. I know this because I have seen out of this window before, and it is nothing but a gray, metallic world, the rays of the sun glinting off its shiny rooftops. It is a long way looking down, and looking closely, one can see little creatures dressed in black, rushing about. I have learned simply by looking outside of this window that there is no time to spare.

There is little to do in his tiny apartment while he is gone. By the time my gears whir back into life his bed is already folded and made, every crease erased as to create the illusion that no one has ever lain there before. The other machine, Amber, is already bustling about the place, ejecting feathery things out of her arms, dusting the furniture, and straightening whatever minimal decorations there are upon the sleek tabletops.

I knew we were different the moment I attempted talking to her.

"Do you know why James is unhappy?”

The knobs on Amber's arms spun, and her claws clinked against the plates she had busied herself by washing. She extended, grasped the sponge, and closed in her appendages. I watched the soapy foam ooze out. "I do not know what you are talking about.”

She confused me by her ignorance, angered me with her indifference. He was apparently lost, disconnected from the rest of his world. Could she not see that?

"I suggest you busy yourself." She turned, slowly, and placed a porcelain serving dish upon the countertop. "Master will be home in precisely an hour.”

Indeed, he came. I waited in his room at my usual spot and watched as Amber followed him around, asking what needed to be done. Nothing, he kept saying. Nothing.

He then closed his door and locked it, walking to his window and staring out, with hardly a glance in my direction.

—

I watch the sun begin to set. I feel a hopelessness I have not felt before, the urge to do something before I fall into darkness. I feel myself suddenly racing as I hear his doorknob turn, the door creak open. It is a noise I have heard countless times before, yet it is something I relish at each instance. I watch as he comes in, dropping his suitcase by the door and running a slender hand through his hair. I wait for him to near the window, to silently push aside the curtain and stare wistfully out at the world.

Instead, I watch him stumble to his bed and fall into its sheets. He does not change out of his black suit. He does not take off his shiny black shoes, or loosen his tie. He just lies there, breathing deeply. His eyes are closed, his eyelids fluttering occasionally. I know he is not asleep.

"James."

It is the first time I have spoken to him in a long time. I see his hand move.

"I know you are unhappy."

He opens his eyes. Even in the dim light, I can make out the small flecks of green in them. I am afraid that he will turn and walk away like he did before, but I can see the fatigue in his eyes and how he will not move. He looks at me, and I look back at him. He answers.

"How do you know that, Jenny?" He digs his fingers into the sheets. "How could you possibly know how I feel?”

I do not answer. I do not know what to say.

He closes his eyes. "How are you any different than the rest of them?”

I walk towards him. The clanking of my parts seem overly strident in the silence of the room. He does not move as I sit beside him.

"I'm sick of it." He speaks softly, and I am not sure if he is talking to me or to himself. "I'm sick of it all. The order of things, how everyone is so uptight, how I wake up to the same things everyday, to all these cars and noises, to the same blank faces always rushing. Everyone is always rushing, you know, and no one takes the time to slow down. No one takes the time to talk about…about the sky, you know? Or the trees. Or how nice it would be to have a little less of these buildings and complexes and more of the ocean. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't always like this. It wasn't always so…cold.”

I watch him sigh. It is the longest thing I have ever heard him say.

"I'm not making sense, am I?" He opens his eyes and looks at me, when a sudden realization flashes in his eyes. "I've gone crazy, too. My God, I've gone crazy." He laughs, half amused, half maniacal. "Oh my God, I've gone nuts. I'm talking to a robot. Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out to a piece of moving junk." He chuckles, and I feel the bed move slightly underneath me.

For a while I do not talk, and after a while he stops. He looks at me again. "But you know what the funny thing is?" I see him extend his hand, and touch my face with a finger. His hand is cold, yet sears across the metal in a burning line. "I feel like you can actually understand me." He drops his hand. "I knew there was something wrong with you, you know. The minute you wouldn't answer Cecilia, the minute I witnessed a robot unable to take an order, it gave me another reason to hate the world. I thought, God, now they've screwed up something else. I can't even depend on these robots anymore. Why should I trust in people?"

We both lie here in the bed for a long while. The sun seems to have decided to set slower tonight, sucking the light out of the sky, one spark at a time. We are both silent yet we are both thinking things. I have not said anything yet. I know he is waiting.

Finally, “James?"

He turns to look at me. It is this look that inspires me most—it does not hold the condescension Cecilia's eyes had when she rapped the side of my head. It is not empty like Amber's, or coldly apathetic like the rest of the world's. He looks at me like I am Jenny.

"We could run away if you want," I say. "We do not have to stay here.”

He smiles. It is the last thing I see before the dark closes in.

[jessiewre]

Day 6

Fri 10th Jan

I could barely eat at breakfast which is obviously very much NOT like me. I was too nervous and excited. I honestly had no idea what this gorilla experience was going to be like.

We walked down to Ruhija gate and the tourist vehicles were pulling up with all the Muzungu’s. We had read the day before that anyone needing to go to the toilet on the trek in, lets say, a big way, would need to ask the guide to dig them a hole and then the guide would cover it up again. AWKWARD.

So basically everyone turning up was heading to the loos to attempt to avoid having to publicly request a forest shite.

There was a community group who danced and performed in traditional style for everyone to start things off, but there was one tourist couple sat right next to the stage side who had completely straight faces the WHOLE time while these (mainly) women were jumping up and down, smiling, singing, banging their feet and throwing their bodies around with massive enthusiasm. It was WEIRD. So Phil and I tried to look doubly enthusiastic, which also must have looked a bit weird. A lot of teeth.

After that there was one SUPER ANNOYING girl who kept talking when the main guide did his introduction and we made a quick pact via eye contact and eye rolls that we would avoid whatever group she was in at all costs.

Thankfully we succeeded and our group looked like the perfect level of boring. Bang on, this was ideal.

Our guide Steven’s face was slightly lopsided and he was missing some teeth, while only one half of his mouth seemed to work. Having said that, we could understand him completely and he seemed very knowledgeable and experienced. We just hoped that he hadn’t been on the losing end of a few fights with some gorillas. Though perhaps it would bode well for us to know that he’d survived a few gorilla wrestles come to think of it.

The guides explained that there was a maximum of 8 people allowed in each group (plus any porters or guides attending) and that the trackers would go out each morning to find the gorillas ahead of us trekking. There were 4 gorilla groups in the forest, the one we were looking for was called Kyagurilo.

We were driven to a starting point based on the trackers location and guidance and we began to trek into the forest. We had an armed guard with us all the time. Apparently this is to shoot into the air to scare off animals if necessary - such as wild elephants. It would be useful if that annoying girl had been in our group too.

It was a slight gradient at first, which then became steeper downhill. Not too tricky though. It seemed bizarre to imagine that we would see gorillas there, it really wasn’t that different to a walk in an English forest..

After only about 45 minutes, we met some trackers who gave us the 200 metre warning. This means that they are close by and we must now do the final checks, take drinks of water (no food and water when close to the gorillas). Steven told us we could leave our rucksacks there and we’d come back and get them later.

Then we looked up and in a tall tree, we could see a gorilla! Wow it was amazing, climbing through the trees, just being a gorilla an that.

Then we saw another, and another!

After 10 minutes we got the go ahead to move deeper into the forest so we obeyed and followed Steven and the trackers.

We stood under a tree with a gorilla in and looked up to try and work out its movements.

Suddenly something heavy landed on the ground, maybe a rock or something, then it happened again. We shifted back a bit as they had landed quite close to Phil and then I saw a spray of liquid leave the top of the tree.

‘It’s pissing!!!!!!!!!!!!’

Turns out those rocks....were gorilla turds.

Phil was like ‘A GORILLA JUST PEEED ON MEEE!’

He definitely thought he’d been blessed by a gorilla and accepted into the group. Maybe not that surprising.

We were surrounded by trees and plants and foliage and then suddenly Steven pointed and under some greenery was a gorilla sat there. We moved past it and another one appeared and walked past us. There were two gorillas nearby, then one lay down on its back and scratched while the other ate some fruit. We then saw a mother and baby pass us and climb up a tall tree to explore up in the trees.

It. Was. Mad.

All the gorillas had by now moved up the trees so Steven said that it was a waiting game and we should just sit still. We should wait to see when the silverback came down, as it might give us then chance to see the group closer up.

Well I’ll be honest, I had my doubts. I thought we’d had an amazing time and seen lots of them and pretty close too and that we were going to end up heading back soon.

But we waited.

I mean I didn’t have any other plans like.

We sat/stood in the same spot for about an hour and a half, looking around, asking questions and listening to the longest largest loudest farts you have EVER heard in your LIFE.

BOY gorillas have got GAAAAAS.

These farts would last like 20 seconds no lie.

Our group didn’t even seem to laugh very much but I swear to god when you are stood in a silent boring group doing nothing and a giant gorilla fart echoes through the forest for longer than you ever thought possible, I challenge you not to laugh. Phil was proper lolling.

After like 1.5 hrs, a large black back gorilla climbed down a tree and began to venture deeper into the forest, so we all went into action mode and our guides said ‘Right lets go! Lets follow!’

It was super exciting as we kind of chased the tracker through the jungle, trying to stay on the gorilla’s tail. Just when you thought the gorilla would stay still, it would move deeper into the undergrowth.

I looked at the gorilla disappear and I thought Well there’s no way we can follow him.

But the guides with the machetes just thrashed away at the undergrowth and we followed on. No matter where the gorilla went we would just attempt to follow. IT WAS CRAZY.

At one point the undergrowth was SO thick I thought Right this is it, NO WAY can we follow, this MUST be where we turn back. But again, the guide thrashed through the plants and trees as it continued downhill and we sort of created this kind of jungle staircase slide. It was like Jungle Book the ride I swear. Phil and I had darted to the front of the group to try and get the best views of the gorilla before it moved on each time so we were scrambling and sliding down this leaf slide with tree logs crossing its path. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

We ended up stood in the middle of this undergrowth, with the gorilla sat completely submerged in it on our right just munching away on the plants.

The group took photos and tried to catch their breath from the thrill of chasing a gorilla through the jungle and the whole adventure of the scramble. 
Then the gorilla moved on again, and we continued!

Steven said he could hear other gorillas coming to join so we should try and find the group together.

Phil and I decided to hold back to let others be at the front of the group and we continued downhill.

Suddenly we heard the gorillas screeching and shouting, if you can call it that, and we looked down to see some of the group running back. They were the ones in the group that you would expect to run, even if nothing was actually happening so we weren’t overly freaked out. But even so, rule number 1 if gorillas charge you is to stay still and NOT to turn your back and run so it was a risky move to make!

We reached the group and everyone was fine, the gorillas had just charged the guides but the guides knew now to respond. They constantly made a low growl noise like they were clearing their throats - fluent in gorilla chat. We’d missed all the drama but you could see everyone else had adrenaline pumping for sure. Apart from the guides who were completely calm and relaxed, finding it a little amusing to see the Muzungu’s panicking which was kinda funny.

We got to the bottom of the hill and climbed over a small stream before climbing uphill the other side.

I could not see how we would get back to our bags but didn’t massively care at this point.

After climbing up and scrambling through more plants and undergrowth, we finally stopped on a steep hill of plants and the SILVERBACK was sat next to us having his lunch. MENTAL.

There were 4 gorillas around us and somehow Phil was at the front of the group like he had a VIP ticket to the gorilla show. Well after the toilet incident and then the fart show, I think Phil felt right at home.

Steven then pointed out to the other side with the hill, where we had just come from, and two of the trackers and porters emerged from the trees with EVERYONES bags and walking sticks. God knows how they had carried it all to us but there are constant reminders here that people are SO strong and able despite having SO much less compared to us.

The gorillas eventually left, walking right past Phil, and we all took a big breath to try and compute what had just happened.

Thankfully there was an alternate route out of the jungle that the trackers could lead us to so we didn’t have to go back the way we’d come and we trekked out of the jungle, eventually stopping off for a sit down and packed lunch. Once out of the jungle, the same driver from the morning called Cedric collected us and he could see how happy we were - so he changed the music to his favourite band. 
Westlife.

Yep, we listed to I have a Dream by Westlife followed by My Love.

I can’t say I did not enjoy it and I may have also sung along.

Phil managed to constain his cringe suitably.

Back at Ruhija gate, we all ‘graduated’ and received a certificate LOL. This was their chance to reiterate the importance of their work and to encourage us to encourage others to visit Bwindi to ensure they can continue their important work. And to ensure they all had a job at the end of the day.

Then Cedric said it was no problem to take us back to the village, so we tipped him with a Boost bar ( I know, so generous) and 1000 ugandan shillings (that’s about 20p) and jumped back in for more Irish tunage.

Back at the hotel, Phil realised his hunger levels were getting serious so I decided to quickly wash my hair. He was thrilled. Then we agreed to head back to the Little Angel’s school while we were still in mucky clothes to check in on the poster update, as we’d promised to come back to see how much the photocopying quote was.

As we walked through the village, I spotted the tailor again and remembered that my button had come off - so I quickly popped in to get it fixed. Phil’s hunger levels had not improved so he stood outside counting to 100 and practising some mindful breathing techniques. He seemed perfectly fine, so I asked the tailor to reinforce the other button. Might as well I thought.

It started to rain which was a brilliant turn of events as I was the only one that had a raincoat with me.

We got to Little Angels and Happy the Director was not around but her colleague tried to phone her to get a cost for us, as we explained we needed to go soon due to Phil’s hunger (try telling a group of hungry orphans that your boyfriend needs to go because he’s hungry, not awkward at all). Eventually the woman told us that the cost for the photocopying was 170,000 USH which is about 50 dollars!!! We told her that was crazy expensive and to tell Happy not to go ahead with this cost and that we’d make multiples of the original poster ourselves!

So they gave us some blank paper and we walked back to the hotel, slightly dreading the evening ahead of recreating another 7 copies of the poster I had made, and then feeling guilty for dreading it in equal measure.

We bought an avocado and a beer on the way back (meal deal) and Phil nearly smiled so that was good. And once we were back, we turned our packed lunch sandwich (which was a tomato sandwich with about half a small tomatoes worth of slices) into an open tomato and avocado sandwich with chilli sauce, accompanied with an all-the-way-from-Tesco’s-Twickenham golden vegetable cuppa soup. When you’re that hungry, anything tastes amazing.

Phil’s happiness spiked right up and he told me about 17 times how amazing the view from our balcony was. The sips of Golden Nile beer may have helped too.

Before dinner, we sat in the restaurant and began the task of recreating the posters, Phil doing one section, me doing another. We were doing pretty well then the food arrived so we paused.

Halfway through dinner Phil suddenly looked over my shoulder and said ‘Someone’s here to see you’.

I turned around and Happy was sat in reception, with Pius and Arenas poking their heads round the corner. I went over to speak to her and she pulled out an envelope to show me 8 card copies of my poster, but the design had been recreated on like Clip Art 97! So it had obviously been too late to cancel the copying and they’d done this instead. We showed her our progress, half-hoping she would say that she didn’t need us to continue, but she was like ‘Oh yes these will be great too!’.

We gave her another donation to pay for the posters as she said it was about 20$ in total - which is definitely a crazy price for photocopying - but actually, someone had sat down and made a digital version of my design. It was heart warming and also a little funny to see the things that I’d flippantly drawn that they’d painstakingly recreated, like the detail on the roof or the sun shape. They were super sweet about it all and we spoke to our hotel who promised to put up a poster the next day when they had located some sellotape.

We negotiated a taxi price with an annoying guy for the next morning, as couldn’t face the only option of a 6am bus. He wanted 80$, ended up on 50$, but we were not quite sure how badly we were getting ripped off. Oh well, left it at that and went to bed.

[ibijus]

I wish you would write a fic where an imposter Rai bully M21 and M21 don't know what to do until Frankentein figures it out and kick the imposter out of his house. P.S. Real Rai was gone for a walk and got lost.

I mighthave gotten a tiny bit overly excited with this idea, but it was ton of fun!Thanks for it, btw ;) Maybe not pushing all the buttons I wanted in all theways I really wanted to, but SOMETHING was done and I had fun :x

Here’s the Send me an anonymous ask completing thesentence “I wish you would write a fic where…” (if you want to reblog too)post and BTW I’m all about crazy cracky shippings (and serious ones too),multishipping is love, poly is love, SHIPPING IS FUN AF anyway: gen, ships,funny, sad, anything, if you’re in the mood hit me up and let’s pray thatsomething good comes of it!

(dear sweetfreaking LORD it took me 3 hours to do this??? I let a 3 hour “wooden sailingship on sea ambience” playing and it’s crazy to see I was done by the end ofthe audio)

The housewas quiet and every step was terrible loud as M-21 run to Frankenstein’s officeand searched around for the files he’d asked for. The man couldn’t help butscoff at his situation, having to leave school in the middle of the day tofetch some paper or another for his boss. In this kind of situation Tao wouldbe more efficient, always coming into the spacious and well organized room toshow things to Frankenstein or talk about his new ideas for the school’ssecurity system, yet somehow M-21 got the task.

“Heprobably just picked the one of us that was closer…”

He keptmuttering while pilling the color coded files and making sure nothing wasmissing before heading out, sure that if he took too long with the easy “mission”he’d have to endure the blond’s witty comments. Joy.

With hismind fully focused on the fastest routes he could take from the house to schoolM-21 had to do a double take of which he saw standing in the middle of the kitchenarea.

“What areyou doing here?”

M-21 frownedand waited for an answer as Raizel slowly turned to face him, still in hisuniform and not showing any urgency in his expression or movements, there was howeversome tension in his shoulders that put M-21 in high alert. He was ready toshower the other with questions when Raizel finally spoken, colder than he everheard before.

“What are you doing here?”

Blinking inconfusion M-21 lifted the pile of papers he still had in hands.

“Frankensteinasked me to get him some files.”

“Of coursehe did.”

Raizel keptwalking slowly around M-21 and the modified human was now looking at the filesFrankenstein wanted. Some accountability info and resumes for new staff,nothing out of the ordinary, so why wasRaizel acting so strangely about it?

Years oftraining and (not so healthy) paranoia made sure he wouldn’t fully take his focusfrom the other person in the room, even while puzzled about what was going on,so M-21 wasn’t surprised when he felt Raizel right behind him, stepping a bittoo close to comfort before whispering right next to his ear.

“Sometimeshe has to get creative to get rid of you.”

That madehim jump, put a good distance between himself and Raizel, the man was as calmand composed as always but his red eyes where ice cold and his words wheresharp. M-21 lifted the bundle of papers in front of himself, the stupid thingwouldn’t be of any use as a shield if the noblesse decided to go against him, nothing could shield someone from thenoblesse, but those where the things he was asked to fetch, they could besomewhat important to Frankenstein. Raizel wouldn’t destroy something importantfor Frankenstein, right?

“You are ahandful, always getting yourself in trouble and bringing it right back at us.More trouble than you’re worth of.”

Raizelspoke slowly, not even deeming it worth to look at him while saying those words,that worked just fine for M-21 if there was a risk of getting paralyzed by hisred eyes. He just looked bored whiletaking small steps in his direction and M-21 stood as still as possible,letting his eyes run all around the room, asking himself how to get away fromthat one insanely powerful being that seemed to be judging his value and not liking what he was seeing.

“We did so much for you and you keep bringingyour fights to this house.”

Shit. He was getting closer and backing off wouldput him against a wall eventually. Maybe then he could make a run for a door,but that wouldn’t help if Raizel where too close, towering over him and readyto… Whatever the hell he wanted to do with a troublesome unworthy waste of space.

One stepcloser, one step back, M-21 knew he was faster but Raizel was faster, andstronger, and even if he had a fighting chance he’d have to be ready to faceFrankenstein right after. Would Frankenstein be outside, waiting to finish himin case he attempt to run? Had everything been planned just so that they couldget him alone and finish him?

He wasalready dead but Raizel wasn’t done talking.

“How manytimes we fought and bleed because of you? You don’t deserve what we did foryou.”

Thenoblesse jumped and M-21 was sure he was already using his influence because hecouldn’t move, a slap at his hands made all the papers he hold fly to the sideand for a second the fair haired man thought about the mess they were making,how disappointed Frankenstein would be, then there was a hand at his chest andblazing red eyes so close to his own grey ones he could feel the other’sbreathing against his face.

“You don’tdeserve that heart.”

M-21 couldn’tmove, only half catching how Raizel’s face contorted in a ugly smile he neverseen on the other’s face or how he had one of their big kitchen knives in hisother hand, lifted high above their heads. Everything happened in the longestsecond of his life, feeling his muscles tense and discovering he could in factmove, there was no mind control going on, he watched as a dozen black tendrilscame from behind himself and impaled Raizel all over his body, the impact throwinghim backward while he did his best to pull and stab his target before goingdown.

A hand grabbedthe back of M-21’s suit and pulled him from the other’s hold, letting him watchthe knife go past dangerously close to his face as the other missed and wasshoved back.

“Coming tomy house and using my master’s face, so disrespectful.”

Frankensteinlet go of M-21 and stepped around him, letting the impostor free from DarkSpear long enough to get up and face him properly. The once wearing Raizel’sface was laughing in a hysterical way, then talking in a voice that didn’tmatch the face.

“How couldyou hit this beautiful face of mine? Never mind, I’ll pardon you if you let metake what I came to collect.”

Theimpostor still had the knife and didn’t seem to care for the many poisonousblack injuries he now had, the idiot probably had never been fully briefed onwhat he’d face in this place or he was crazy enough to think he had a fightingchance against Frankenstein. M-21 honestly didn’t care whichever was theanswer, the fucker made a mess of thefiles he had to take to school.

Frankensteinalmost didn’t get a chance to rile the guy, maybe he wasn’t in the mood withthe other using his master’s face, or he was that easy of an adversary. Therewas some damage done to the room, black holes in the walls and broken glass butat least Dark Spear had been especially neat on its consumption of an enemy.

A sideglance to the nearest clock showed M-21 that if they were quick with thecleanup they could make it back to school before the end of the work day.

“This isinfuriating.”

Or not, if Frankenstein felt like fuming and passingaround the room. He’d probably push the cleaning at him at this rate. M-21 tooka deep breath and turned to collect the papers and file cases messily pilled atthe floor, he didn’t know enough of each of them to properly put them backtogether, but pilling it all at the coffee table seemed better than lettingthen in the floor.

Turningaround he saw how Frankenstein had stopped and was looking seriously at him. Itfelt like an awful déjà vu.

“Yourfiles.”

“My files.Of course. Thank you, M-21.”

The mantook a few large steps to the table and M-21 hold himself in place, refusing toflinch at his sudden move, looking at anywhere but the blond. Frankensteinlooked through the pile for a few seconds before heavily sighing and looking straightto M-21.

“I’m sorryI took so long. As soon as we got the alert there was an intruder in the houseTao and Takeo where ready to come, but I choose to let then taking care of theschool. I was the reason you werehere alone, after all.”

Frankensteinwas kind enough to turn away, taking his time to look at his messy living roomand let M-21 recompose himself. Everything felt like  a strange dream, suddenly he’s taking care ofa simples errand and then Not Raizel is running at him with a knife.

M-21 sitdown on the couch. Frankenstein gave him a quick but pleased look.

“Oh, finally. I was about to shove you at achair. You’ll have to tell me what that guy told you.”

“Hm.Nothing interesting.”

“I’m in themood to hear some bullshit. Amuse me.”

Frankensteinpicks up his cellphone on the third ring.

“Boss! What’shappening? Dark Spear fried the living room’s cameras and I’m blind over here!”

Tao hadbeen biting at his nails since Frankenstein left him and Takeo to guard theschool, watching the house’s security system feed where M-21 was being corneredby Raizel-nim’s Evil Twin while Takeo collected Seira, Regis and the realRaizel to make them aware of what was going on in their house.

Everyonearrived at the principal’s office right when Creepy Not-Raizel was about tostab M-21, then Dark Spear was all over the place and the system went down.Seira had to grab Regis by the back of his collar when he tried to bolt to thedoor. Tao and Takeo felt just like him, and they knew Seira and Raizel did too,but they couldn’t suddenly leave at any given second and it was Frankenstein dealing with whateverwas going on at their house.

The nextlogic conclusion (after a good minute or so of arguing and convincing themselvesthere was no need to run and M-21) was to try and call Frankenstein’scellphone.

“It’s atragedy…”

Frankensteinnever sounded so desolated, evenRaizel eyes were a little wider than before. Everyone held their breaths andTao felt how weak his voice was in his next words.

“B-Boss? IsM-21-”

“The wallswe just painted are a mess. The paint Miss Seira chose so carefully… And it wasexpensive, too. M-21 agrees with me, he also liked that color.”

Raizelaverted his eyes while everyone else traded looks that communicated clearly “Frankensteinis truly a monster!”

Extra:

“Ahjussi!We heard you fought a burglar yesterday!”

M-21 wassurrounded by the kids, their worried faces with big shinny eyes made himnervous. He threw a side glance at Tao, who smiled and blew him a kiss from faraway. Bastard.

“Shouldn’tyou be resting today? Tao-hyung told us it was a pretty intense fight! Are youall right?”

“Uhg… I’mfine.”

“D-Don’tlie to spare our feeling, ahjussi! We care about you! We wouldn’t know what todo if something happened to you…”

M-21 pattedYuna’s head in an attempt to comfort her. He didn’t know what to do with abunch of kids worried about him, much less with one of them looking ready to cry.

“I’m fine.Director Lee helped.”

The fourkids turned to look at their director crowded by students, smiling and wavingfriendly at them. Suyi was the first one to turn back to M-21, a curiousexpression in her face.

“What didhe do? Smiled so brightly the burglar was blinded and you were able to subduehim?”

The threeother kids turned all to Suyi and after a second of consideration all fo themagreed that was obviously what happened. M-21 used their distraction to runaway retreat.

[Notes: mygreat regret is that I didn’t just straight up wrote “M-21 is shook” or justmade him say “I’M SHOOK” but M-21 IS SHOOK, OK? Frankenstein is father of theyear, he felt really bad for accidentally sending M-21 to face that disrespectfulguy who stole master’s beautiful face!!! Oh yeah, the guy didn’t had any mental power to paralyze M-21, he was just panicked enoughabout FRICKING “NOBLESSE” WANTING TO KILL HIM to feel like he was in fact paralyzed,just wanted to point this more clearly here.

Also, sorryfor changing some events, only now I’m thinking about “what if the bullyingwent on for DAYS before someone figured everything out?” that is…. A greatidea!!!! But how to work with it????? To tell the truth, now that I think aboutthat guy using Raizel’s face on the house…. What… What the f are you doing thereat that time? Omg lol let me sit here and point all the plot holes in my ownfic! Idk maybe he had a way to track M-21 and saw he was moving to be alone atthe house, that makes sense! (maybe?)

ANYWAY THAT WASFUN, GUYS.]

[carrissajackson-blog]

After Dark

Chapter 1

These day's sleeping wasn't as easy as it used to be. Anymore than 4 hours was considered a bonus, since these terrible nightmares decided to made it their job to wake me up at all hours of the night. And getting back to sleep was a lot harder than it seemed. I could never fully remember what the dreams consisted of, but I could roughly remember the faces of who were in them. They were never people I knew, or had even remembered seeing. But somehow I recognised them. And it never ended well for them. By that I mean they always ended up dead! I couldn't remember how or where, as a matter of fact I couldn't really remember anything short of who they were. But I was sure that if I'd see them again, I'd recognise them. I'd often started to wonder if I was going mad, or even if I had a psychopathic streak in me, (Not that I'd ever wanted to hurt someone. Well not kill them anyway...) but surely these dreams couldn't be normal, could they? I suppose you never really know whats going on in someone else’s head, unless they confess it to you. And if there was other people out there having dreams like mine, I don’t blame them for keeping it to themselves. I hadn't spoken to anyone about mine, god if I did, I'd probably be locked up in an insane asylum by now. But not only that, how could I possibly speak to someone about this without sounding crazy, or like I have major issues. Nope, I think I had to come to terms with the fact that I had to deal with these horrible nightmares myself. If only I knew how. Waking up with bags under my eyes was starting to become a routine. It's a shame my concealer wasn’t cut out for the job of hiding them. But I still applied my makeup like normal, and hoped for the best. This morning was a bit of a rush though, I didn’t manage to get to sleep till about 5am, well that was the last time I checked my alarm before the loud annoying sound decided to wake me to let me know it was time for school. There had been plenty of times I had laid in bed, debating whether to actually make an appearance or not. At the time the thought of getting out of bed, to get ready, to go somewhere I didn’t really want to be, was more draining than actually doing it. But every time I battled myself and managed to fight the urge to stay in bed all day, or maybe all week if I was going to try and catch up on the amount of sleep I had lost altogether. The first couple lessons at school was a complete drag. Constantly looking at the clock hoping that the time would just fly on by, when in reality, it was probably going slower the more I kept looking at it. Nothing in the lessons was really being taken in. My brain was still trying to cope with simple instructions, like not falling asleep. Or even just trying to listen to the teacher enough to be able to take notes, so that I wouldn’t fall even more behind then I already was. "Hey, Kyra you ok? You seem a bit off today?". And finally comes the dreaded question. Is it really that obvious? "Yeah I'm fine thanks. Just a bit tired". That was an understatement. I was completely knackered, I was so tired I wasn’t even sure I'd be able to keep up a conversation without mumbling and falling asleep half way through. "God tell me about it my dad was up watching some forensic programme till early hours. Wouldn’t have been to bad if he didn’t have the TV so loud. Took me ages to get to sleep". Yet looking at Brenna you wouldn’t have been able to tell if she'd missed even a minute of sleep. And somehow I managed to look like a walking corpse, that had missed their funeral date. When class finally finished after what felt like, the longest hour of my life, I made my way to the cafeteria to get some food, to make up for the breakfast I had missed from rushing about to get ready for school on time. Cafeteria food wasn’t the best food I had tasted in my life time, but It wasn’t the worse either. I picked up an apple juice, tuna and sweetcorn sandwich and a chocolate muffin, and made my way to my friends. They were sat on the regular table in the far right corner. It was always better to sit away from everyone else, unless you wanted to end up with food in your hair. Because for some reason the jocks thought it was funny to have a food fight with each other almost every lunch time. To be honest I'm amazed at how they still find things like that entertaining. There’s only so many food fights someone can have in there life time until it gets annoying surely? "Hey guys" I said as I sat down next to Brenna. "Hey" they echoed back. "Not hungry Charlie?" "I can safely say that Mr Halliman's class has put me off lunch for today". Mr Halliman was our Biology teacher. He was a short fat man, with dark brown hair. Which at his age was clearly dyed. He was one of those people, that no matter how old you got. He still thought he was 25 at heart. "Don’t tell me. You had to blow up a lung in class today?" Brenna added. "A pig lung to be precise. I’m guessing your class had to do it as well?" "Not yet, but I've been tipped off about it" "Well I’m telling you now, its nothing to be looking forward to" "Oh trust me, I’m not!" Brenna stated. I scoffed down my food, like someone who hadn't seen a crumb of bread for weeks. I was so hungry I even went back for a second sandwich. "Have any of you seen Alyssa recently? She hasn’t been in school the past couple of days." Alyssa Daron was just another ordinary girl in our year. But she wasn’t one to miss school. Until her mum divorced her dad for another man that is. Then she had a lot of time off. But a lot of time had passed since then and things had been resolved, so it was a bit weird for her to be missing school again. "I heard she had an argument with her dad and packed her stuff to go and live with her mum and her new fella" Charlie mentioned. "What do you mean new fella?" I asked. "They've been together for a while now" "Oh don't you know. They guy she divorced her husband for was having a secret affair with another woman the whole time. If you can even call it that when there not married". She's not really having great luck with men is she. "So what? Is she ever coming back, or is she going to switch schools?" I asked. "I don’t have a clue. Haven’t heard anything more about it" "That's not the only thing that’s been weird around here recently. Did you hear about Kyle? He got sent home for the rest of the day for fighting." Brenna added. "Fighting? Who was he fighting? He's not usually into that sort of thing." "I thought you would have known by now. Apparently they had to pull him off Luke, took about four of them just to get him off" "Luke as in my brother Luke?" "Yeah. I dont know how it took them four people to get him off him though. I mean come on, I know hes a jock an all, but they made it sound like he was the hulk or something". "How did you find out?" I questioned. "I heard some of the guys talking about it in the hallway". Why on earth was Kyle fighting my brother? Their like best friends. I best go and see if he's ok, and find out what happened. I had to admit, I don’t like being involved in drama, but its entertaining to hear about. Even if it is about my brother. The sound of the school bell rang loudly throughout the cafeteria. Echoing off of all four of the blank washed out walls. Guess that’s going to have to wait till the end of the day now. I stood up tipped my rubbish off of my tray into the bin, and placed it on top of the stack of dirty trays waiting to be washed on the way out. Strangely the last two lessons went by quite quickly. Maybe that was because my body had finally decided to kick in and start functioning. Better late than never I suppose. I joined the tsunami of students, all making there way out of school. The sudden change from the cool, shadowed hallways, to the beaming hot rays of the sun was almost relaxing. If it wasn't so daum hot. I saw Luke stood on the grass under the comforting shade of an Oak Tree. So I made my way over to question him about the whole fight between him and Kyle. He was stood talking to some guy in a jock outfit that I had never seen before. I don’t know how it was possible that I didn't know him. Lakewood High wasn't exactly a massive school, and basically everyone knew everyone, whether they liked them or not. "Hey" I said walking over to meet them. "Oh hey Ky. This is Alex, him, his brother and sister have just moved back here". No wonder I didn't recognise him. He was what you'd call tall, dark and handsome. But he did have bright ocean blue eyes, that stood out well against his short flowing dark hair. He was only slightly taller than Luke who stood on the other end of the spectrum with blonde hair and blue eyes. They were both well built in size, not too stocky but not skinny. He was quite hot, even if I do say so myself. "Hey, nice to meet you" I said politely. "Nice to meet you too" He said smiling at me. "I'll let you guys talk. I better make my way home anyway". "You sure you don’t want a lift?" Luke quickly asked. "No, It's ok, might as well make the most of this weather. I'll catch you tomorrow at practice." I was glad he walking away, it gave me a chance to check him out from behind. And just as I suspected, he had a nice ass as well. "So...". "I'm guessing you've heard already then. Let me just start with its not my fault" Luke said trying to plead his case. "I don’t care who's fault it is I just want to know what happened. Oh my god are you ok?" I said turning his head with my hand. He had a bite mark on his neck. It must have been from Kyle because it was definitely a human bite mark. "Yeah I'm fine. Don’t know whats up with Kyle though. He just. Changed. He started talking smack about Sofia for no reason. So I called him out on it and he just threw himself at me, took me to the floor, and then bit me". Talking badly about Sofia? They dated at one point, why would he talk about her like that. Not only that but Sofia was my best friend who passed away a few months ago. It was still a touchy subject for a lot of people. And I still regularly visited her grave and went to see her family. I had always been really close to her family, their house was basically a second home to me. And with them supporting me when my mum went missing, I repaid the favour when Sofia passed. "You need to bandage that bite up or something, it might get infected" I said examining the mark. "Oh come on, its not that bad, you always make things seem worse than they are" "Make things seem worse than they are? There is literally blood running down your neck" Luke quickly wiped his neck, and looked at his fingers to reveal the rich red substance coming from his wound. "What is he some sort of animal or something? Why is he biting you anyway?". He responded by shrugging his shoulders. Common reply for Luke, when he wanted a conversation to end. "Hey! Kyra do you need a lift?" Charlie shouted from across the car park. "Im alright thanks, I'll just catch a lift with Luke. You still coming round later?" "Yeah give me an hour and I'll be there" She said before running back to her car. The journey home felt like a death trap, the car was so hot from it being sat in the baking sun all day, I felt like I got third degree burns just from putting my seat belt on. The first thing we did was wind the windows down. The air couldn't get to me fast enough, I might as well have been sticking my head out of the window I was that close to it. But getting home was a relief. Dad wasn't home yet, and he wouldn't be for another hour or so depending on if he was going grocery shopping or not. So It meant that we had the house to ourselves for a bit. We pulled onto the drive in Luke's sky blue 1965 Ford Mustang. Working at the Patterson's car garage had its perks, and one day he was hoping to work up to a Shelby GT500. I rushed out of the car, up the walk way and straight into the house. I dropped my bag in the hallway that connected the front door to the kitchen and living room and made my way into the kitchen to make a drink. I don’t know what I would do without the ice maker on the front of the fridge. It really did come in handy in weather like this. Suddenly a loud bang came from the hallway. "God daum it! Stop putting your bag in the hallway. This is the third time this week I've tripped over it while walking in" Luke shouted. "Well maybe you should watch where your going!" I shouted back. My house isn't what you would call huge, but it's fairly sized. It's a white wooden house, just like most of the town houses, lining my street. In fact the only thing that really makes my house stand out from the others is the pink blossom tree in the front yard. My mum had always loved blossom tree's and the pink ones were her favourite. So when she went missing we all decided to plant one in her honour. It hasn't been easy since mum disappeared. The simple things like having girly chats. Watching chick flicks together. Or even just going shopping together. You don’t truly realise how much you take things for granted until you no longer have them. Plus living in a house with two hot headed guys can be very tiring at times. But having such a traumatising thing happen at such a young age, helped me grow up a lot quicker. That’s not to say that I don’t make just as much mistakes as the next person. But I've learnt to deal with things in a better way than I used to. Whereas for Luke, he's not really one for talking about his feelings. He's the type of person that bottle things up until it gets unhealthy and ends up exploding. But he's trying. And dad. Well the whole disappearance with mum killed him. Just in the way that you would expect any husband to react to his wife going missing. He puts a smile on his face, and sometimes I even believe its genuine. Which it might be. But I know my dad. And I know how he deals with things. I can tell deep down there’s a chunk of him missing. After all my dad and mum were what you'd call 'High School Sweethearts'. Yeah they argued, but they never went to bed on an argument, they would always sort it out beforehand. God I missed her so much. Her smell. The way I could talk to her about anything without her judging me. She was such a kind, understanding, compassionate, loving person. I know most people would say that about their parents, but she really was one of a kind. If your reading this, thank you for taking the time. And I would love to hear what you think about it. So please feel free to message me :)