#ITLL CHERISH IT FOREVER

[hikichuuni]

wasnt sure how to get this to u cause twitter sucks but i drew ur oc u once posted on twitter!! ^_^

LFJDLKFJSLFKSJ THANK YOU SO MUCH OH GOD SHE"S SO GORGEOUS AAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

[grxtsch]

i know i dont post about my personal life om here a lot but my last day of high school is tomorrow. i am not ready. i was just crying while reading things that people have put in my yearbook and while writing this i am now crying again.

im at a standstill with my emotions because im so ready to get out of hs and never have to do any of that work again, but at the same time im not ready to leave all of my friends that ive basically grown up with and teachers that have seen me for a very long time that i may never see again. im so scared of losing contact with these people because i care about them all so much. i will forever cherish all of the fun memories ive had there and hopefully ill be able to visit all of those people again and stay in contact with them 😭

with all that said, im also very happy to be able to meet new people, move to a new place, make new friends and memories and most of all further my music education and get into a band in college. i am nervous about college because i am a very anxious and fairly shy person but i know itll be fun but also challenging

GAH i hate having these emotions sorry about the rant but i must let it out or i will explode

[bluryyyblu]

2:48

Love has phases it’ll feel like spring shinning brighter , it’ll feel like winter chilly frozen , it’ll feel like autumn cozy but dead at the same time, itll feel like rain gloomy sad with a silver lining of raindrops like moments which you’ll cherish forever . i wouldn’t say its all about pain its not but it does have that element to it . I don’t think you can love someone without feeling that agony .its more like an ingredient to it . more of it will destroy you less of it would feel like something is missing. i m not sure if i want that and i m not sure if i don’t . If i take it all it will come with pain too so i’d like it in pieces small pieces , packets of love like the candy ones children get on halloween . They don’t have to return it or pay for it its all theres ;

[actualbird]

luke pearce IS the sort of person who sleeps with a bunch of stuff on his bed shoved to the side. nxx (and aaron) stage an intervention and are like “we LOVE you, you deserve good things, PLEASE love yourself”

jhvKJHVSDFSLFKJ THESE R SUCH LOVELY HCS, ANONNN!!!

truly, the nxx team will want luke to have standards So Much. to raise his quality of living because he is definitely Capable of it, he just Doesnt Do It. i like to think it's both because of a casual not thinking very much about himself for internalized self loathing, and also just some natural scatterbrained-ness.

i remember mc saying at some point that luke's been messy ever since they were kids. itll be hilarious when the nxx team actually do manage to get luke to have better standards for himself, and theyre all very happy seeing the improvement made in his self esteem and self worth and how that results in some Home Treats like a nice big fluffy blanket and a rice cooker maybe, BUT.......his place still ends up generally messy and in disarray

marius, falling to his knees dramatically: WHERE DID WE GO WRONG!!!

mc, patting him: yeah no, the mess is staying forever i think

vyn: i am just considering it a victory that he no longer microwaves his water for coffee and tea

artem: //in the background accidentally stubbing his toe against the palette bedframe. ow

i also ADORE THE HOARDER HC SO MUCHCHCHCHHCH!!!! AND UR SO RIGHT LIKE....okay im gonna delve a little more metaphysical in my interpretation but...

it is clear in luke's character and his interests that he values and cherishes objects that have meaning and story attached to them. there are the most obvious examples, with keepsakes from mc, but the one that is more fascinating to me actually is his shop, Time's Antiquities, as a representation of this.

it's still a shop, so he parts ways with the objects eventually, yeah, but the mere fact that thats what he chose is indicative of a deep appreciation for history, for objects of old, because of the past etched into their existence. it's even more interesting that his antique shop co-exists with his general mastery over advanced tech. and that shows that he could absolutely have been a person to value solely utility and advancements in objects, but he isnt. luke does value those things, but there is a cherished place in his life for objects whose main value is less of what they are and more of what theyve been through, more of the stories that they can tell

all that rambling to say that: yeah he totally keeps a hairtie from mc from forever ago JHAVKJHFVAKSFHAVKFH hes a sentimentalist like that and i love him for it. he'd also keep every single gift given to him from people who matter to him: a get well soon card from aaron that he got at the hospital once, a cookbook from artem, some nice pens from marius, a pretty tea strainer from vyn, a whole box just filled with stuff peanut handed to him, all of it

he is so special to me....

[thedoover-if]

The patient is a certified bb that MC can't resist cuddling them at every opportunity. How would the patient feel about it?

- wholesome-obssesed anon

i think that would really solidly the patients belief that "love isnt dead". getting to wake up next to the MC everyday would just make them feel at ease and put a smile on their face everyday

they truly believe that in life you will meet countless of potential soulmates so the fact that the MC had such a long relationship with the ex wouldnt necessarily intimidate them. once youre in a relationship theyll just take everything one day at a time and cherish every single moment!!

for an MC that cuddles them at every opportunity itll add 500% to their honeymoon phase feelings LOL which theyll probably stay on forever

[armslikeanchors]

september finally comes to an end

just like the end of every month, it comes with a moment of reflection for me

here come a lot of things i have to say. sorry.

september was eventful to say the least

new people in my life and new goals

new places and new music

though, lots of quiet hardships

i try not to let it show, though

anyway

here comes october

my favorite month for a myriad of reasons

except for the 25th, which wouldve been the day my ex and i would hit our 3 year mark. its silly i keep talking about these things but 2 and a half years doesnt dissipate from your mind so easily

hopefully im not affected by it but i hope at least one of my friends is free to help distract me and have a busy day

october is held very dear to my heart

a little silly but if i dont get approached i think this will be the last month i will let the idea of a relationship run through my mind

i look for something sweet and fun and someone i can cherish stupid little things with. id love to share music and buy someone gifts. although im a bit afraid of indulging in that again. id rather not regret. maybe i’ll meet someone who will teach me how to enjoy these things again. if this month doesn’t bring that to me though, thats okay !! i will have better things to focus on for the rest of the year (and however many more months) and i will just let myself be free of it. i feel i will take october’s lessons as a sign, just like always.

anyways, im most excited for the weather (which is my absolute favorite part of the month)

gloomy, rainy days aren’t usually seen as something to look forward to or something to put someone in a good mood but its those days where i find myself most at peace

i dont see the gloom; i see the plants flourish and the way the sun comes back to peek through the clouds the next day or so to remind me that shade isnt forever

i take these days to set a chair out in the driveway under the extended roof of our house

and put on my headphones and reflect, or not

it really depends

but i take in how nice the breeze feels on my face

and i watch cars avoid the puddles, as not to make a mess. its almost poetic in a way

im excited for carnivals and pumpkin patches, ive never gotten the chance to actually go to one. i was promised so, but unfortunately it didnt stick

im especially excited to bake for friends and surprise them with whatever i make:) i dont talk about it much but ive learned how food can bring people together. ive missed out for a while but im glad im learning

i hope i can convince at least one person to do matching costumes, i think thatd be fun. (honestly im just really bad at ideas and matching is easier)

anyway

my band might play a show and its both really really exciting because im making my dreams come true

but im also absolutely terrified

im sure itll go great, anxiety just gets the best of me. im always at a constant battle with it and hopefully this music thing really breaks me out of my shell and shows my mind that its not all so bad

october has always brought me both the best and the worst memories of my life

which might make one wonder why i choose it to be my favorite month

and the reason is exactly that

its eventful. maybe not in the best way every time, but i always learn a lot

i grow a lot

i hope it treats me well

teaches me lessons; brings newfound appreciation

i hope i can go out of state at least once or twice

that would be nice

of course every day forward is entirely unpredictable

but i can only hope for the best

and if i dont get that

ive at least finally learned to pick myself back up

[voidconscious]

makes me sad in that i remember i want to hear recollections of peoples lives and capture it and keep it within me forever and so they know their entire existence was cherished from the beginning and maybe they can remember the feeling and carry it with them into the next life and itll keep them running forever

[leeeeeeeeey]

0307

hi love. hope youre having the sweetest dreams rn. i just remembered yung concert ng arctic monkeys. ikaw ba talaga yung nakita ko na nagdrive sa bayan, or umattend ka ng concert? anyway, u would post some photos naman ata kung umattend ka. sweetdreams, love. i love you. i miss you

good morning, gorgeous. you up na? di ko narinig alarm ko, pero di naman ako late hehehe. have breakfast na ha. can't wait maguwian, i wanna sleep. tapos i have interview tonight din. wish me luck. i love you so much

imma nap lang bubby ha. kain ikaw madami. i love you

hi, love. kakatapos lang ng shift ko. sent u a message din sa messenger. like a promised to myself, you'll be the first one to know kapag nakapasa ako sa new work. hindi ito yung first choice ko, but God is really great. maybe totoo nga na hindi para sakin now yung tenet, maybe ingenious would be a better fit for me. im still ecstatic rn. di ko inaakala, nawawalan ako ng pagasa since puro ako rejections. pero ayun. i hope you would read ny message, and malaman mo na you still mean the world to me. you're my number one inspiration, and itll stay that way forever. almost out mo na din, love. drive safely pauwi. itutulog ko muna tong feeling na to, kasi i still feel that its a dream

hi, love. thank you for replying. I cherish lahat ng usap natin even after that incident. miss na miss na kita, bubba. sa simpleng usap natin na sobrang casual, napapakalma ako. kinikilig ako, sumasaya ako

i thought u would be happy. it seems you dont really care na talaga hehehe. i hope this would be a window para makapagusap ulit tayo, i guess im wrong hehehe. anyway, gonna search more about the company. lalo ako nagiging anxious. new work, new environment, new team, new people, new mngmnt. and youre not there para lapitan ko. miss na kita, love. i keep on finding ways para makausap ka, para may topic. pero you dont feel the same excitement as i have everytime your name pops up. mahal kita, mahigit pa sa sobra.

goodnight, love. enjoy the rest of your night. restwell. thank you for replying. dream of us. i love you so much. i miss you

you dont really care about me na, love?

[rt-lots]

NO ONEEEE gets the mindflayers like i do NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mindflayers are ARTISTS willing to DIE (KILL THEMELVES, SPECIFICALLY) FOR THEIR ART!!!!!!!!! mindflayers are greater machines who have dedicated their advanced intelligence to creating a BEAUTIFUL BODY THEY LOVE AND CHERISH out of PLASTIC SO ITLL LIVE FOREVER. in this DISGUSTING HORRIBLE GOREY WORLD THE MINDFLAYERS PASSION FOR CREATION AND PROTECTING WHATS IMPORTANT TO THEM RULES OVER ALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

streetcleaner: is that your fucking human-body sona? thats cringe

mindflayer: YOURE cringe

AND THEN THEY BLAST THEM WITH THE HELL ENERGYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also is the fact the mindflayer is a MACHINE that LEARNED TO USE HELL ENERGY NOT COOL AS FUCK??????? WHAT THE HELL. WHAT EVEN THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL AND FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goddamnit i LOVE MINDLFAYERS THEYRE MY FAVORITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this whole fandom needs to apologize to the mindflayers theyre so COOL AND AWESOME. but they have boobs so people have to be misogynistic or theyll DIE i guess

1 turning the mindflayers out of everutjing else into sex objects is very telling of what you may think of women as a whole 2 come on. theyre shockingly fun to think about outside of sex jokes. Come on

[ificouldbegin-to-be]

Open

“I...do care for...Steven very much, and I’m happy he’s with us but I...”

Fists clench, phantom eyes tearing up as she turns away.

"...I just want my daughter back.”

[franeridart]

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said:  Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said:  hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

[rouge-the-bat]

tbh i see him drawing the line at reading the minds of people hes close to- at least, after he tried peering into kuramas mind early in their partnership (and was unsuccessful at seeing much, due to how ancient kuramas mind is), and kurama was Very Unhappy about it. so hiei at first avoided it because he didnt want issues between them, then later it turned more into not wanting to betray kuramas trust. now he doesnt want to do it to any of the people important to him.

along with my hc that some demons (and some spiritually aware humans too) can feel the presence of someone peering into their mind, so he wouldnt want to risk it with yukina. but more than that, hed feel guilty and might even feel afraid to hear his sisters thoughts about him- if its negative, itd hurt to hear even if he expects it, and if its positive, he wont know what to do with that and it might shake his faith about hiding the truth from her, which he Cant Have because he doesnt exactly have a good reputation with many other demons, and cant have their relationship be too known or else she may become even more of a target than she already is.

buuut that doesnt excuse this little bastard from just TALKING to her. he and all his friends would defend her with their lives, and theyve all become INSANELY powerful, they can keep her safe. unfortunately hiei experienced too much abandonment early in his life to feel like he wont inevitably be tossed away, whether itll come now or later- on top of trying to admit he actually cares about anyone, even if its extremely obvious, extremely hard for him.

but now hes forever team urameshis resident dragon-taming tsundere, so hopefully one day hell realize all those that he cherishes now will truly be there for him for good :3

You know…for a dude who underwent a procedure to get a magical eye that allows him to have psychic abilities, including mind reading

…

Hiei sure does make a lot of assumptions about how his sister would feel/view him if she knew who he really was instead of, oh I dunno….reading her mind…or actually fucking communicating with her….

Hiei, sweetie, I love you, I really do…but holy fuck do you make me wanna violently shake you till you stop moving sometimes…

[penaltbox]

lol yeah i met ry and T at the same time 😂 go figure. so they’ve been around the same amount of time. but ry and i spent a lot of time hanging out when T wasn’t around. since T was with his ex for some of that time. so ry and i are definitely close. close enough that he texted me today that “hey the freshie is too terrified of your bf and i need you to do something about it bc its your fault” and i said “?” “poor kid can’t stop thinking about your boobs so be clingy with T so he’s not jealous and freshie can see he doesn’t have a chance” i replied with a RYAN. and he goes “what? at the party the kid blushed every time he looked at you. and he had too many and told me he thought about you. and then panicked and told me not to tell T bc he wants to live” 🙈🙈🙈🙈 then he sent another message and said “ooh maybe leave a hickey or two. i’ll tease T about them” and i was like “RYAN STOP IT 😭” and he said “what? im asking you for help and not telling my best friend about this to save a life” and i said “youre annoying” he said “ok im done. but its a good plan” 😭 when i saw him today though he gave me a hug. he even bought me a cookie bc he knew he was being annoying. T was like “whatre you buying my girlfriend food for?” and ry said “bc i cherish her friendship” T gave him a look. ry just shrugged and said “maybe you should but her a cookie too” which made me laugh. but I gave T a hug and said “you do enough, bubs” and he kissed me very passionately and his hands traveled a little low 🙈 ry’s response was to fake gag and leave the room 🙈

im glad you get the calm thing being attractive lol. its hard to explain 🙈 awwww nooooo 😭 im sorry your boy didnt spend the night but itll be extra special when he does. and as long as youre having fun 🥺 im glad things come easy with him thats so great. but if hes not forward maybe hes just taking his time?? or waiting for something from you!! if you think things are heading in that direction you could always be the one to be more straight forward. but i know thats easier said than done lol.

I NEVER GOT A NOTIFICATION FOR THIS. HOE ASS TUMBLR. Anyways 😇 yeah I’m still president of the Ryan fan club and I think I’ll forever keep that title lol. I can’t believe that plan he tried to make 😂😂 what is wrong with that boy lol. I’d purposefully say hi to the embarrassed freshman though just to knock him off track a little and get T paying attention to him. Just to stir the pot lol. We do love a bit of possessive T 👀👀 and the fact he’s still all about you. Love that. I’ve actually been pretty straight forward with him so he definitely knows what page I’m on but I can tell no one has ever made him communicate the way I do so I know there’s a learning curve from him. I’m willing to be patient with it. I get him the next two day (possibly overnight but probably not lol) so I’m very excited for it ☺️☺️. We may be going to a Halloween bar crawl Saturday so we’ll see how that goes lol.

[divinevomit]

im tired

sept. 26′21 : 8am

-

thought id try a diary of sorts. cant garrentee how consistant thisll be or how literate itll be either. i cant sleep anymore without some type of medication. with or witohut caffine. im aalways tired an d it shows. when i fo sleep it sall day. never at night. the portals are opening up. tis almost october and it shows. this buildign is full of lost ghosts. i feel for them, honestly. i cant imagine being stuck ina place liek this forever. i feel liek maybe i will, one day again. be stuck somewhere for wahat seems liek too many years, watching the days pass, not knowing when or were i am anymore. seeing the passin gpoeple go by. i was once, it wasnt fun. i dont really remember it, but i know i long forit back from time to time. 

i guess i should introduce myself properly, for futiure referencee or for anyone who happens to stumble on this blog. i dont rwally know how. i guess i m kinda liek a ghost. i dont get to leave my apartment often, eithr becuase i have a bad feeling, or because i have no reason or the funds to. i have insomnia, also borderline personality, and probably a good amount of other problems. ihave a good amount of friends i guess, i live with one, (who ill call vamp for future referece),i have two friend groups, both of thm are majority odler than me, but not in a weird way, more liek by chance. anywyas, i also have an online friend, and a long distance lover. i talk to my onlin efriend more than any. ive knownhim for almost twoyears,but i dont know much about ihim. i dont know his actual name, what he looks liek, so basically nothing besides his age, his voice, and his zodiac sighn. all my friends think hes secretly 40, but hes a year younger thanme and proved it. ill probably end up talking atb him mostl.y. i mtoo tired to thikn of a different name than what i already callhim, ill think of one later. my lovr lives in the same state as my onlien friend, and not too far. theyboth live in a different state thanme and vamp. weve beentogether for two years, about 8 months off and on long distance. this is the longest weve been away from ech other at 4 months. i dont get to talk to them too often. thy dont have wifi, and theyve never had a phone with data. their family is odd and doesnt liek me either. what els do i add? ill be a legaladult in 6 months, but me and vamp basically liv aloen. my mom pays for rent and utilties, but is never around and lives with her boyfriend 12/14 days. whenshe does come by, its not good. vamp and i both dont have jobs, vamps family is across the country, and most of mine is comepletely out of the pitcture. neither of us had good childhoods but they r pretty similar. vamps was a lot more extreme thanmin e, and mine was,, easier,, to say te least. i dont know what else i should add. im very pale due to lack of goingoutsid eduring daylight hours and probably lack of nutrients but naturallu im very tane. im reely clairvoyant, liek scary clairvoyant. ican read someones mind to a t with ease, can feel others physicalpain even when im inadifferent room, adn emotions clearly. especially when i know thm, dcently just by looking at them too long. its reallu exhausting. (beleive me or not idont care, its not liek anyone will see this anywyas.) my mom is pagan (for 22yrs), and my dad is a satanist (for 42 yrs) and i am second born to them. i turned out a pagan who lieks red magic and my deity is venus aphrodite. (did yu knoew aphrodite was nonbianary?)  i refuse to do black magic or anything to mess with anyons freewll. i refuse to end up liek muy dad. my favorite color is baby pink andblack. 

me and vamp share a room. im not allowed to be alnoen because everyone thinks ill spirsl. vamp has lived with me for 4 months and, dnt get me wrong, i lvoe having him here, hes liek my brother and i cherish him forever, but i missbeing alone. jes asleep right now so im downstairs typig this. 

i have a bad habit of rambling. i talk too much. i wont read this over becaause i know itll be all ovr the place and ill just delete it. i dont really know what to use this blog for, i never really have. i go backand forth on wat to do with it, first it was aesthetics, then a dream journal and now this, but im bad at keeping p with anything and loose motivation quickly.  i might try more for tihs. but i cant promise anything, i did this on a whim. 

[all-too-courtney]

“you & me, forevermore”

Heyyy Taylor,

So I realised today that I tell you a lot about my life but I’ve never actually ‘introduced’ you to my boyfriend, Kody. I think I’m probably just going to ramble on about him for a bit. I was going to apologise in advance for the sappiness but then I realised I'm talking to you, the lyricist behind songs like Mine, Today Was A Fairytale, Ours, Delicate & New Years Day… so I think I’m good.  

We’ve been together for 5 years this September. I fell for my best friend when I was fourteen, and all of a sudden your love songs became about him. You’d really like him. We’re both literature nerds (I can thank you for my infatuation with metaphors), law students, and totally obsessed with squeezing the cheeks of my three baby siblings. He’s honestly one of the only people in my life that I can be myself around, without a filter or a fake smile; and he’s the same. It just feels like I’ve got the best guy out there. I feel so incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves me in spite of my quirks and flaws, although I do cop quite a lot of shit from him over my “inability to drive in the lines”. I truly believe that I have never met a man who cares as much as Kody. Like, when we’re watching movies on the couch his main concern is whether my feet are warm enough. That’s why Call It What You Want is our song. When it came out I just called him up in tears over the lyric “he built a fire just to keep me warm” cos thAT’S HIM.

I’m lucky to have scored him, because not only does he love me unconditionally, he fully understands my dedication to you and being a swiftie. I’ve had a number of people along the way try to make me feel foolish for unconditionally supporting you online every day, but he makes me feel validated and thinks my fan pages are “actually really cool”. He says to me whenever you’ve noticed me that “I’m worried that if you ever meet Taylor I will never be able to top that... like, I will have to spend the rest of my life trying to make you that happy again.” He’s fully on board with this whole swiftie situation. To give you an example, we’re planning our first big trip away for next year and we’re both so excited (modern history geeks do EUROPE! stay tuned for that one) and every time you have an international event, he’s like “LET’S GO! PUSH EUROPE! ITLL STILL BE THERE! BOOK TAYLOR”. Also, I mentioned that I think your “J” necklace is beautiful once and so on my birthday he showed up with exact same one, but with a “K” (obviously). He’s the kind of guy who always puts me and our relationship first. He shows that he appreciates me just as much as I do him, and I cherish that so much because it just feels so reciprocal and I LOVE that.

Kody is the most precious bean, and I will be forever grateful that we were put in the same homeroom in 7th grade. I feel so lucky to be so young and to have already found my person.

Taylor, thank you for literally being the soundtrack to our entire love story, I love you a lot. We can’t wait to see you next tour!

Yours,

Courtney. 

@taylorswift @taylornation

[askata]

okay wow hi

heres my take

matter or energy, it doesnt really matter. i go off the idea that it can only be recycled, not destroyed nor even created. whether thats true or not idc.

i like to think that we were physically once stars, or empty air, or soft and loving hands, or shards of glass from broken bottles, or everything else.

i love you because you were stained glass windows and beautiful sunsets, but you were also broken skin and blood. youre everywhere, everything really. and i really love everything.

life is unfair too, but it doesnt mean to be. i think so often we wonder why life does this stuff to us, what we did to deserve bad things. theres no reason, really.

its like making a drink, or mowing the lawn, or watching the sunset. maybe the drink has too much something, or the lawmower blades werent spinning right, or the sunset wasnt as pretty as you thought it would be. sometimes, life doesnt go right, and sometimes that happens in big or personal ways.

life doesnt mean for your drink to taste off, or your lawnmower to stop working, or for the sunset to be like that, and thats okay. yeah, life is anthropomorphized far too much, i dont know if life marches for us or simply for the sake of marching, but it goes and goes regardless of our wellbeing.

outside of life and the universe in general, things dont really have a plan. things happen because time doesnt stop to protect us, and sometimes we bump and hit and smack into walls and tables because we keep moving.

it isnt your fault, its no ones fault. nothing is setting up a track for us to follow, we simply walk what we think we should, and sometimes that leads to bad places without us knowing. youre not responsible for how youre hurt, youre not responsible for tragedy.

i stopped shitting on myself because it felt like I was wasting precious time. this is the last year itll be 2024, there wont be a 2024 ever again, i plan to enjoy every minute i can until i count the seconds down to another unique year.

this is the last time youll live this exact date, or maybe the last time youll do something at that exact time, or the last thing youll read before bed. tomorrow is another day, but dont forget to cherish the moments that flow through your fingers.

it gets better, you just have to change your perspective a little bit and work on seeing the stuff in the shadows. you cant always focus on the spotlight and believe its the best you have.

its enough to breathe, that in itself is a miracle, and youre so precious for simply just existing. youre worth a life, and you deserve a good one.

and no matter what you do, someone will love you. someone out there would stick by your side until the end, the same way someone out there would hurt you for a laugh.

i love you, i love your bad habits, i love your laugh and your teeth, i love how you cope, i love the things you do that you hate, i love what you hate about yourself, i love you unconditionally. i love you, your doubt wont change that, i love you and your problems.

we always believe that people have the worst intentions because we worry so much about the people we see every day. some people youll meet might have bad intentions, but the internet (forgive me, i sound old for this) is full of negative talk and hateful people, and sometimes its so much we cant see what else is there.

yes im afraid of being hurt, but its so beautiful i have the chance to trust people. its so beautiful to even have the ability to fear or trust or feel betrayed. a moment doesnt last forever, it may feel horrible, but eventually youll get yourself a drink and you wont even think about what happened.

life is a river, live to prove them wrong, and remember that to be hateful is to be miserable. be the change you want to see, be the love and the goodness we doubt we have. i love you now, and now never ends.

i love you, my grain of sand, you are a beautiful piece of one big thing. dont let anyone trick you into thinking otherwise, not even yourself. sleep well, may the sun rise, and know, i will love you then, too.

i need to lovepost for a sec