#IT JUST GETS BETTEF

[erineas]

OH my god I gotta continue Tilikum!!

[ridragon]

chasing out my sadness with anger, how dare my brain chemicals do this to me without my consent, fuck you! I'll spite you broken brain chemicals by being happy anyway

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Y'know Hyoko if you think she did better than you that's just seems like a lack of confidence in your own abilities. Than again I know jackshit about traditional dancing. So maybe she was bettef

As if, I was the Ultimate Traditional Dancer and heir to the Saionji Clan, I was practicing and was learning the steps, then she show up up and prove she was better then me.

Seriously, would any of you like it when someone comes up, does the thing your good at and does it better - that shit would piss you off!

But did pushing her and putting pins in her shoes was a good idea, if anything you just drove away who could of been your friend and someone that could of been interested in traditional Japanese dance, that isn't what an heir should do - they should encourage it, correct?

And friends are servants, besides I don't need friends and I've accepted that.

Just answer the question, Hiyoko - was it really necessary to do that? Given you had pins in your shoes, do you think Emiri really like that either or pushing her? I get the impression that she just admire your skills in dancing and that's it, nothing else.

...

N-No...I didn't like it very much but I suppose that is true, I didn't see her after that; I guess she didn't want to watch dance anymore after all that.

I see, thank you - now how about we ask why you didn't go to your mother.

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

[azlovesem]

All aboard then the fun shipmEmily!!! Youre amazing and my beet aries buddy Emily. What a wonderful temperment and generous soul. I can tell yiure mot ftom England or America. You dont act better likr youre better than othef people. Younsee ill kill Emma oif i vsnt hsve her. See ehat getting ivolved or believing any smerican does to people. Inlive her we re gonna be friends or ull kilk her. Ill have hed of remove her its just the way ut is. So never listen to snykne font a mob type bitcb who thiunks dhes tough. No offense Rmily eimen are tough in othercwsys than men. But yhey shoukdnt act like us thryre not ip to our level of fighting. Zero none. Full butcyes those are men. If youre too manly of s woman yo me i call you dir. uoure a man inna butches body. It happens but they dont count. And yhe hormone therapy thats done. I font think snykne under 20 should ever be taken seriously. Yore born a man ir womsn dwal eith it. Like come on. No yhwt Emma doesnt wanna argue. I thinm dhees terrified of jf i intimidate her in sll ways but yutn her on that asy too: its a coke walk. Come in Emna ill hug you. Youre one of my people deal with that. Imlike Emily dhes of our blood. We gotta dtick together becsuse we own this earth snd everyone knows it. We aint giving ip shit. Zero nothing. So thry bettef give it a redtbor illl show them ehatvwer is, oppie hemie was a bitch Emilt inyhrestened hom to get hom to eotk. Like their punk asxgpd i own them.

Ahoy there.

[fall3n4ngels]

okay so you’re just going to continue being a shitty friend and also never pay me back for your ticket lol like get your $80 back or not i’ll keep the fucking tickets to myself and go with someone who actually fucking cares about me and you can continue to do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences since YOU SO OBVIOUSLY DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT ANYTHING AT THIS POINT DO YOU KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS KNOWING THAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN BE BETTEF BE WITH PEOPLW WHO ARENT GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU YET YOU SO FUCKING BLATANTLY CHOOSE TO KEEP HURTING YOURSELF ITS SO TIRING YOURE NEVER GOING TO GIVE AS MUCH OF A SHIT AS I DO FOR YOU I CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH IT ACTUALLYDRIVES ME INSANE AND YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT CARE YOU NEVER CARED

[tribow]

I hear about people having trouble discovering new music. That the algorithms end up giving them the same kind of music all the time and that sounds insane to me.

But then I remember that most are not using Bandcamp or Soundcloud to listen to music.

Both Bandcamp and Soundcloud's algorithm base themselves more around what other people listening to the same song are also listening to and the tags the artists themselves set for their songs. This leads to waaay bettef discoverability than other algorithms (other algorithms use similar parameters).

Soundcloud actually has a bunch of other algorithm stuff to suggest you things, but it has the added bonus having a feed. The one who controls the feed is you! You will only see posts from artists you follow and artists are able to repost works from other artists as well (like reblogging here on tumblr). Personally, the feed has done wonders for introducing me to new music and has the added benefit of artists supporting each other through reposts. The Tumblr etiquette of keeping posts circulating rings just as true on Soundcloud.

Bandcamp lacks these things, but it becomes a much better home for listening to and discovering albums/singles released by artists. Plus, it still remains as one of the best ways to support an artist directly since you can buy those albums from Bandcamp. There's even the Bandcamp Fridays where Bandcamp does not take their cut of your purchase and ALL of your money goes straight to the artist!

If you're one of those people struggling to find music give Bandcamp or Soundcloud a try! Search for your favorite artists and see what you can discover from there!

(Quick note: Soundcloud is old and crusty and hasn't tried to update itself into modern times for better or worse. Good news is any good ad blocker completely stops your music from getting interrupted by ads, but that also means the mobila app sucks immensely. Just use the desktop web version.)

[wetslug]

.

[azlovesem]

Oh well they suck see me instead. Pleae? You honba maje me beg i will. I flnt wanna see snykne tlse ir i woukd have by now. Aweww. If you aaw my etes it eouldnt be me drugged up trying yo manipulate. Yiyd just see happiness. I gavent seen that in ny eyes fir a long time. I eish i could see you. Im not scared you mudt be. Becsuse im wsy dnarter and bettef thsn dveryone tlse big yo nention a better heart. Do i dont ever get intimidated i do the intimidating. Its hard to t as lj yo ke its not like tslking yo a monjey. Anywsy have a nice nught. Yiull come around. Im too desdly thete is no defense God didnt make one for ne. Fir good resson. I love you i said, i cant stop. I tried csnt you tell. Gomne a hug have fsiyh ugll feel really good, not bad.

[yandere-ai]

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[wolken-himmel]

Okay so if Y/N is a fawn now does that mean Leona and Malleus are trying to fight the urge to eat Y/N or do they just want cuddles. Do they break out of their enclosure just to see fawn Y/N.

Haha no, they don't have the urge to eat fawn (Y/n) but they do have a strong urge to cuddle them and never let them go again. The other animals are mistaking that need to get closer to the fawn as a want to eat them, so that's why they keep them away from (Y/n). Bettef safe than sorry anyway.

They break out of their enclosures all the time just to see the fawn! Rook likes to just stand in a corner and watch them silently while Leona and Malleus actually pounce on (Y/n) to drag them away into their own enclosures for private cuddle sessions.

[altermay]

Hey guys can I vent for a second?

I hate being poor I really do. I hate that I grew up hearing people say “you can do whatever you want if you just put your heart to it!” And I hate that I believed that. I hate that I know people who are going to my dream art schools while Im struggling to pay for community college. I hate having well intentioned people tell me that if Im stressed out I should just take a vacation to Europe when my shower doesnt even have a showerhead, its just a pipe. I hate that the person who hurt me time and time again is now on testosterone and I hate that I care. But im stuck in a body I hate because I dont have the money to do anything about it. I live in a shed, im on food stamps, I want a bettef life, I dont want to be poor anymore. This winter Im going to have to go hunting because my family isnt able to afford lasting groceries anymore. Im sick of suffering while shitty people get whatever they want just because they were born into a wealthier family. And Im stuck in the poorest part of the south, I feel like Ill never escape, even if I make enough money to get somewhere here, I feel like Ill never be able to make enough money to move out and live in the North, considering the cost of living is higher. Im stuck. I just wish I knew what it was like to be middle class. Most of my problems would go away if I was middle class. Im so sick and tired and I dont know what to do. My dysphoria is awful, my mental state is worsening, Im scared Ill lose my best friend because she lives so far away and I dont have the money to see her often. And. My hometown has. Many bad memories. And speaking of bad memories, I keep remembering very confusing things from when I was a child. Why cant I just have a break. Why do things have to be so shitty all the time. Why is my life so shitty, what did I do.

Whats the point

[childrenoflight-darkness-nothing]

Going to attempt chapter two rewrites again today once I get off, but really it’s not likely to happen. Kinda stuck on trying to plan chapter three cuz that’s what my brain wants to focus on cuz it’s all “ooh this ones new and shiny!! We’ve rewritten that other one like four times”

Was trying to start the rewrites for CoN chapter 2, instead accidentally wrote a nice summary...

[kpop-roleplay-world]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. How's he doing now? Congrats on graduating and getting a job! I'm so happy to hear from you. Its been a crazy year. Hopefully 2021 will be bettef

He's better, completely recovered💜 But, of course, there's still a small fear ㅠㅠ Thank you so much, hun💜 And yes, can we just cancel 2020?

[odiinsons]

hey thank you i was getting so upset about reylo not happening but your post made me feel so much bettef and hopeful!! love uuu let's go reylos ❤️💙

YOU WELCOME 🧡🧡🧡

But seriously, no reason to be stressed. The evidence is huge at this point, we've been given posters, covers, interviews, a whole damn Vanity Fair article. Just .. don't sweat it. The evidence is there. This is not 2015/6, when we were eating scraps, WE'RE GETTING FED. BIG TIME. A FREAKING BANQUET

[moss-sauce]

[[MORE]]

NOAH FENCE BUT I LITERALLY DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THE WAY PEOPLE SEE ME ANYMORE AS IN NOT A HUMAN BUT RATHER A FUCKIN PILE OF BENT NAILS THAT SERVES NO PURPOSE OTHER THAN PEOPLE LOOKING AT MY HAVING A MENTAL BREAK DOWN EVERY 3 HOURS AND SAYING TO THEMSELVES "HAHA GLAD THATS NOT ME!" AND CONSTANTLY QUESTIONING MY PLACE IN PEOPLE'S LIVES NOW AND WHETHER THIS SHITTY PLANET WOULD BE BETTEF OFF WITHOUT ME EVEN THOUGH ITS A GARBAGE FIRE ALREADY

nothing is good anymore. nothing. think myself into a funk. go online to find something to cheer me up. only see news on how fucking disastrous everything is elsewhere. like opt out now, get out of not only your own personal mental hassles, you also get a free unsubscribe from the inevitable collapse of everything as you know! you won't live through the pain of that dude! an asteriod or another world war or the fucking planet just killing itself because of us because we're nothing but fucking roaches on this earth! nothing's fuckin worth it anymore! i may be remembered now but give it like 3 months and it'll be a different story

i cannot stop feeling guilty for EVERYTHING. i cannot stop hating everything about myself lately. the way i look act sound behave talk think my name just fucking none of it. just vehemently recoil away from it is what my mind does. "that's not a fuckinf PERSON" it snorts "that's an idiot. a failure. a dropout. poor excuse of a friend and caretaker. pretender. wannabe. former 'gifted child' that turned into a 'disappointment adult'. 'first in the family to go to college' turns in to 'first one to drop out because they wanted to perish so badly'. loser ugly meatbag that takes up the space and attention of someone that could be a helluva lot more." and im FED UP i know i should be able to change and counter this thinking but its CONSTANT AND NEVER ENDING its like the cartoon devil sitting on the shoulder shouting things at me. im literally arguing with myself day in and day out and im so tired of it man im tired im tired. my friends my family my pets all deserve betted than this. someone who probably drags them down more than lifts them up anymore.