#i dont know which is bettef
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#hooooo boy its rough out here#i dont know how to exist rn without being a burden to those who i want to exist with#so i will just sit with my shit and say less#i really just. i just want to be bettef#i want to be normal#and not weird#and not mentally ill#and like. enjoyable to be around without a shadow of a doubt#which isnt possible im just a person#but i dont feel like a person and i never have so who knows maybe that's why i have unrealistic expectations for myself
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Going to attempt chapter two rewrites again today once I get off, but really it’s not likely to happen. Kinda stuck on trying to plan chapter three cuz that’s what my brain wants to focus on cuz it’s all “ooh this ones new and shiny!! We’ve rewritten that other one like four times”
Was trying to start the rewrites for CoN chapter 2, instead accidentally wrote a nice summary...
#i just realized#castors chapters will be on multiples of threes#if my math is right#and idk thats kinda fitting somehow and im mot sure why#cuz its asha to faye to cas to elise to faye etc#unless asha gets more than the first chapter#cuz then that messes things up#but for whats planned now#cas gets the multiples of three#i just really want to write the cas chapter!!!#and i cant decide if i should start his POV before or after hes arrested#like either it starts with the current plan of him being in prison and meeting Aislin#or it starts with him committing treason#i dont know which is bettef#on one hand#action but on the other#hnnnnngggggg#light tries to plan a novel in the tags
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