#IT HAD TO BE THE PSYCHIATRIST
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I'm still missing my friend Sidney
#yes I'm talking about sidney freedman#I'm STILL thinking about the dream i had where i was friends with him#and waking up how i was trying to convince myself i knew a sidney but that his last name was freeman instead of freedman and that made sense#and how i needed to call him because i needed to talk to him about my dream and because i missed him#And only after THEN i realized#that dream has really got me so fucked up because ive never done that before I've never had the lines of fictional characters blur so much#with real people#AND THE FACT IT WAS SIDNEY FREEDMAN IS ALL THE MORE IRONIC TO ME#IT HAD TO BE THE PSYCHIATRIST#I'm losing it#he could do so many studies on me
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Jazz wasn't crazy. People might argue that burning her childhood home to the ground with her parents still inside would be an indicator of insanity. But how else was she supposed to react after coming back home from college to find out her parents had brutally killed her brother via vivisection?
Dying her hair blonde wasn't crazy either before anyone asked. Plenty of girls dyed their hair when they needed a change. Besides, she could never live with herself if she kept the same hair color as that vile woman.
Admittedly Jazz would have to secede moving to Gotham had been a little crazy but it was the perfect place to start fresh and blend in despite her "quirks". She had even picked out a nice new identity for herself.
Clearly Jazz was not crazy as she had managed to land a job at Arkham Asylum as a psychiatrist. If she were really insane would they have ever hired her? No they wouldn't have.
Jazz was not crazy. She was very much sane. Just like her precious Mr. J.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#hyper prompts#winter's tales#not sure which one this fits under more#surprise! jazz is harley quinn#do not ask me how my brain concocted this for i truly have no idea#i was merely as vessel for my own crazy thoughts in this case#btw y'all i tried to look up whether harley was a psychologist or a psychiatrist because i couldn't remember#and i got conflicting answers#i think the general consensus is she's a psychiatrist who acts like a psychologist#because most writers don't know the difference#and by general consensus i mean i saw a total of one source that had that opinion#but it makes the most sense to me so i'm running with it#the same source (reddit) as theorized that she's a double major#which also makes sense because even in her origins she's studying psychology#but she's also going to med school!?#hello??#you don't even need to be an expert or anything#just open a dictionary!#look it up on google!#something!#anywho#her job switches depending on the era comic run writer etc#you know basic comic book shenanigans#sorry for the rant y'all#it was just so mind boggling that it actually became a little funny#so i thought i'd share
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I have a small AU where on the Day of the Departed some souls are able to go down to Ninjago to see their loved ones.
(Such as souls who have recently died, souls who are remembered, or souls who are trusted enough to go down (when a dangerous soul is one of the first two they either are not allowed to go down or must travel down with a ‘Guardian’ such as Garmadon with Morro (yes this is a Morro AU are you actually surprised)))
So imagine how Cole feels when years down the pipe line something triggers his previous ghostly-ness (maybe evil Garms resurrection) and he sees Morro and Garmadon bickering near a Lloyd, Cryptor making fun of Zane and Pixal, Dr Julien admiring all the changes that has occurred, his mom admiring how big he’s gotten, and the damn First spinjitzu master snorting at Wu and (evil) Garmadon bickering.
No Kai he’s not hallucinating Harumi’s birth parents and adopted parents hovering over her what the hell.
Imagine how baffled he would be when he sees some random blonde woman and a guy who looks way too familiar babying a Jay who has no idea why Cole both looks traumatised and amused when looking at him.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#imagien this as post crystallised but pre the merge#i like to think the merge happened after a year or two of peace#morro ninjago#morro wu#lloyd ninjago#lloyd garmadon#how is cole supposed to explain to Lloyd that Morro (evil guy whi traumatised them all years ago#had a tiny redemption/atonement arc) is currently face down in the ground after Garmadon (sensei garm) tripped him over#no nya you cant send him to a psychiatrist this is not him hallucinating or being delusional#no Wu its not the trauma#imagien echo as either a ghost trying to make fun of zane without crying of as mr e being made fun of by cryptor#wu ninjago#ninjago sensei wu#sensei garmadon#garmadon ninjago#kai ninjago#nya ninjago#cole ninjago#ninjago cole#cole brookstone#zane ninjago#pixal ninjago#harumi ninjago#dr julien#ninjago cryptor#lilly ninjago#ninjago fsm#ghost cole
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day 345
soooo guess who has ADHD
the state of Nebraska and its arcane policies have once again laid me low
#day 345#year 5#it me#now dont get me wrong. i am Very Very Psyched to have these meds on board.#but i am also. just a wee bit salty. that i could potentially have had them on board for the last NINE YEARS if this psychiatrist had like#simply used a little critical thinking about the assessment technique she was using#but also she looked at me and didnt figure out i was autistic so like theres only so much that can be done for her i think#anyway even though it is pretty rough you can tell im medicated because i did a Fucking Twelve Panel Comic
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His Haven: Part 4
Part 1 2 3
Homelander x Psychiatrist!AFAB!Reader Content⚠️: This does have smut. Masturbation, mentions of oral sex, light fingering, hand job, praise kink, very light implications of edging, penis in vagina.
Your meetings with Homelander continue as normal. You've made it clear that if he doesn't comply with your boundaries, he will be transferred to a new psychiatrist, and he has done well to stay within the professional boundaries.
"Tell me about how you grew up, Doctor," Homelander says. He is looking out of your office window with his hands behind his back.
"I'm not able to discuss that. Boundaries, remember?" you say sternly to avoid leading him on. He scoffs, irritated.
"It's always these fucking boundaries. Always with the red tape with you. I'm the strongest supe in the world; there aren't any boundaries I can't break or cross." That gives you an idea of what mood he is in. Did Stan put him in his place, or was it Madelyn this time? Either way, he always brings up that he's the strongest supe out there and that he can do what he wants when one of those two has upset him.
"Is something specific bothering you today?" you ask, ignoring his comment.
"Maeve broke up with me. Madelyn is cooking up some story for the public." He takes a sharp breath in. "Maeve didn't like that I was sleeping with other women, but she wasn't giving me what I needed. Sure, we had sex, but neither of us was interested in it. And for the past months, you've let me be me when no one else will." He stutters a few times during his speech. He turns to look at you. Homelander expects you to say something.
"Did Maeve say why she broke it off? You two were together for a while," you ask, not wanting to encourage poor habits.
"I said we weren't interested in the sex we were having. I'm a man; I have needs," he plainly says, as if the fact he was cheating is normal and okay. Most people would assume Homelander is shallow for cheating, but it's clear there's more to it. Unfortunately, sex isn't something you could ask Homelander about because that could give him the wrong impression.
"I would say most potential romantic partners wouldn't be too happy about your needs being fulfilled by other people," you tell him to let him know you're condemning his unfaithful behavior.
He scoffs. "Please, any woman would be lucky to have me." Homelander stares at you for a second. He's studying you; maybe he's x-raying you or trying to notice any subtle changes.
"Problem?" you question.
"No-no. I just… was thinking." Homelander can't tell you he wants to crash his lips onto yours. He can't say that he wants to feel up your breasts and get you out of that blouse you wear all the time. He can't say that he wants to pull you close and then fuck you on your desk. He knows he would cum fast being inside you for the first time, but Homelander also knows you'd be just as satisfied, if not more. Homelander can't tell you that your arousal smells so strong to him he can practically taste it.
Homelander suddenly leaves. He has to get away from you. He flies high into the sky, passing the area where a plane would be flying. In the sky, he feels alone. Homelander breathes in. He wonders if you'd ever trust him to bring you this high where only true gods can be. Of course, Homelander would make sure you're safe. He would take you high enough that the thin air was a thrill for you. He slides his pants around his thighs. Not enough for them to fall off, but enough for him to have access to his dick that's been hard since you condemned him for cheating on Maeve. You could be so stern but such a fucking tease.
Homelander begins to stroke himself. He starts slow, making sure his hand isn't wrapped too tightly. You're in his mind right now; he knows you'd be so slow with your strokes. You'd tell him how good he was doing the longer he could keep it together. Homelander strokes faster. He has no control to keep going slow, but you would. Your soft touches and soft praises would drive him crazy; they would drive him over the edge.
He says your name; he sounds like he's begging. "Please," he says with an almost pained expression. Homelander needs you, but his hand will have to do for now. The stimulation from his hand and the way you plague his mind are too much, and his cum shoots into the sky.
Homelander feels a lot of different emotions upon his release. You should be fucking begging him to even glance at you. He feels somewhat pathetic being so under your thumb. He feels fucking pissed because the semen he just shot so high in the sky should have been on your breasts, face, or somewhere inside you, not falling worthlessly to the earth. You should be the one begging for his attention the way he begged you to let him cum in his fantasy.
Homelander flies back to his penthouse. He feels more determined than ever to have you in all the ways he wants you. Maeve is no longer holding him back from a real relationship, and Madelyn wouldn't be upset because she seems to like you. After his abrupt exit, Homelander doesn't visit you for any more appointments that week.
The following week arrives, and you have yet to see Homelander anywhere. You're leaving a session with another client when you walk into your lobby and see the prettiest bouquet of your favorite flowers. A card with your name proudly sticks out. Your receptionist is gone, and the lobby is empty.
"Your receptionist almost refused to tell me what your favorite flowers were. I guess she wasn't willing to die to keep your secret," Homelander says, sounding playful, walking out of the men's restroom and effectively startling you. "I just heard that little heart of yours jump."
"Homelander, this is crossing a boundary," you say, trying to sound stern, but the shakiness of your voice tells Homelander that you're nervous.
"Enough with the fucking boundaries. I'm tired of being a fucking patient and having to throw a tantrum every time I want you to look at me. I'm not your patient anymore. I dropped you. Now, we can have what we have both been wanting." He circles you like you're his prey. "Your receptionist is out for the day. I told her you canceled your other appointments so that I could have my time with you. And then I had her send out that automated email to those psychos you insist on surrounding yourself with." He seems proud of himself, as if he's accomplished something huge, and now you cannot deny him what he wants.
"What makes you think I'm even interested in you?" you ask him with a glare.
"Don't be like that. Even right now, I can smell how aroused you are. If I left right now, you'd probably scamper home and immediately spend the night with that pink vibrator in between your legs." Homelander has such a love-hate relationship with that thing. He's watched you use it a lot, and you're moaning his name most of the time, but that toy isn't him, so he hates it.
You blush, but not in an attractive way, either. Your whole face heats up. "How do you know about that?" you ask, exasperated.
"Doesn't matter. What matters is that you want me to fuck you. Tell me that you're not attracted to me. Tell me that you wouldn't be opposed to me fucking you in your office right now. Say you don't, and I'll leave you alone about it." Homelander has no intention of leaving you alone, no matter your response.
You stay quiet, avoiding his gaze. You suddenly walk into your office. He follows. "God, you're such an ass!" you tell him. Homelander presses himself against you and presses his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He's desperate, and that makes it hard to go slow. You reciprocate and match the desperation. He doesn't taste like anything, which is a testament to how clean Homelander likes to be in his everyday life. You, on the other hand, are sweet. His hand quickly finds your breasts as if you'd decided to take them away. Homelander breaks the kiss.
"Your blouse is in the way. So is your bra." He quickly removes your top clothing that had become a hindrance. His hands are nimble, but the cold leather of his gloves is ruining the moment.
"Can you take off your gloves?" you ask. Homelander doesn't hesitate to lose them, and his bare hands are now able to feel the warmth of your breasts. Your nipples are pointed. That's a good sign. He dips his head, sucking and kissing anywhere his lips can land on your breasts. One of his hands finds its way to rest on your hand.
"I'm ready for you," you tell him breathlessly. Your cunt is soaked from the reaction Homelander is giving.
"You're delicious. I've been desperate to fuck you since I walked into your office." He drops his pants but pointedly leaves the top half of his super suit on. He trusts you, but he still isn't comfortable showing you the parts of him that he's most embarrassed about. He pulls your skirt and panties off and immediately rubs slow circles around your clit. He watches your face, trying to decipher if you're enjoying that movement.
"I like that. Keep going. You're doing so well," you encourage Homelander. He guides your hand to his hard cock, and just like he imagined, your strokes are slow. He could cum in your hand so easily if you would just go a little faster.
Before either of you can cum, he flips you over and shoves you down into the desk. Homelander tries to be gentle, but he's so eager to be inside you. You spread your legs a little more to give him better access. He begins thrusting in and out of your wet cunt.
"You feel so good. It feels better than I imagined," Homelander groans out, enjoying the feeling of your body being wrapped around his. His hands explore your bare back. His thrusts begin to become more hasty and desperate.
"I can feel that you're close," you tell him breathily. You can't see it, but Homelander's face turns red. He is embarrassed that you haven't come yet, and he's almost at the edge of his orgasm.
Homelander throws his head back and squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to wait." He wants to tell you that you feel that good and that even if he does finish before you, he will make sure you reach the same heights of pleasure.
"It's okay, you're doing well." You reach around to find his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Homelander leans down and pulls you up so your back is pressed into his chest. He wants to be touching you as much as possible while he cums. Homelander's face finds the crook of your neck. He breathes in your smell. He wants to remember it forever, the smell of your natural scent mixed with his scent and both your arousal and his. Homelander hugs you tightly from behind, and with a sharp breath in and a following moan that's muffled by your skin, he's finished inside of you.
Homelander doesn't move for a moment. He wants to stay like this, to savor you in case you disappear as you had done so many times before in his intimate moments alone.
Homelander lets go of you and pulls out. You turn around and notice the tears streaking his face. He's not crying and doesn't seem to notice the tears. "Wow, that was intense," you tell him, sensing that it would be better not to point out the tear gloss on his cheeks.
"Don't worry, I'm not done with you yet, little lady," he says, trying to sound confident. You wonder if that "little lady" bit is his attempt to remind himself and you that he's in charge. Before you can bring it up, Homelander pushes you back up on the desk, and his head is dipping between your legs.
He certainly was not done with you. Homelander made sure that you enjoyed yourself in that office, and as you leave your office, you wonder what this means for your relationship. This wasn't a regular hookup. It couldn't be after the visceral reaction Homelander had during his first orgasm when he so desperately clung to you.
Unbeknownst to you, Homelander was already waiting at your apartment. He was going to show you the other benefits of his affection.
Tag List: @randomstuffthatdontmakesense @thevanityofthefox @z3r0art
#homelander#homelander x reader#the boys fanfic#fem!reader#psychiatrist x character#female reader#reader x character#homelander smut#this is my first time writing actual smut#afab reader#homelander fanfiction#reader x homelander#i forgot i originally had a gender neutral reader#homelander x psychiatrist#homelander x you
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socialising
stand straight, two feet on ground
smile, bare your teeth (not too much)
fangs hidden in plain sight
your claws in fists, don't let them see
(don't let them know)
wings folded behind your back, so tight
always look them in the eye,
and let them look into yours (ignore the pain)
hide your scales under your clothes
and use words that don't belong in your mouth
do they know?
can they see what is hidden?
a beast with stolen skin
a monster in human shape
#<- had to go to the psychiatrist and didnt want to socialise that day#anyways this is a fucking mess but i had to get it out of my chest so. enjoy?#to clarify nothing bad happened. just had to socialise (crying sobbing throwing up)#whispers of the dragon#dragonkin#endermankin#otherkin#nonhuman#vent poem#i guess#poetry#my writings
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Sometimes you just need to cry while your partner holds you <3
Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni
#self ship community#self ship#f/o x s/i#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc zooble#tadc self ship#🔺️🍥 Plastiscene 🐶🌈#anyway hi guess who had a really bad mental breakdown yesterday 👍#I staryed this last night but was so exhausted I couldn't finish it#it's just a quick thing I did to comfort myself after all of that#Wafflez has a bad habit of bottling up their emotions#< just like me (they are me lol)#it's a bad habit of mine but in my situation I don't really have a choice but to do it#my family has made it clear they don't have any intentions of learning about my mental illness#< And they don't understand my feelings or trauma at all#and my therapist refuses to diagnose me eith anything or give me proper treatment#AND there isn't a psychiatrist anywhere out here who will see me#so basically I'm just kind of fucked lol#I like to imagine Zooble would let me release all of it#they'd let me be open and honest about everything I struggle with#and they'd let me yell about how unfair it is that so many people have hurt me and gotten away with it#they wouldn't make me feel bad or stupid for feeling my emotions ''the wrong way''#I lovr them so much and I wish they were real <3#didn't mean to say that muchin the tags sorry lol
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one of the reasons i hate generative AI is that i have a chronic injury that makes me unable to write by hand for longer than a few sentences and therefore i need a keyboard in order to write essays for classes, and i’m a bit worried that professors won’t allow me to type essays as a result of potential AI use, even though i have a perfectly valid medical reason to need a keyboard. i’ve seen a few posts online saying that the only way to prevent students from relying on AI is to make them write by hand, and while i understand the sentiment and don’t even necessarily disagree with the general point, the matter of accessibility still needs to be addressed somehow, and it’s just a bit frustrating on a personal level as someone who has had to fight with teachers and professors in order for my needs to be met even before the era of chatgpt
#this is just me expressing my frustration please don’t take it as a big political statement#or as me saying that ai will forever end disability accommodations. bc that’s not true. i’m just frustrated and concerned#i don’t even have actual medical documentation anymore so i’ve just been going off the good graces of my professors in the past few years#so don’t come into my replies saying ‘you’ll be fine you have a medical excuse’ because i’ve had to deal with way too many instances of#my medical excuses (well-documented or otherwise) not being enough#never gonna get over last spring bringing in a letter from my psychiatrist that blatantly said ‘kai needs this specific accommodation’#and then going in to meet with accessibility services at my school to have them say ‘we can’t give you this accommodation we need#more documentation’ dawg what the fuck else do you need ??? my psychiatrist isn’t enough ????#yeehaws
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ahahaahaa bold of you to assume I avoid therapy because I'm scared of confronting my internal turmoil and opening up to people no it's because I'm scared that I'll end up entwined in an odd, complex, and intimate relationship with a psychiatrist that could span three seasons
#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#alana bloom#day 3221 of hannibal withdrawal#let's not forget that will pulled both hanni and alana#if I had a nickel for everytime will graham became romantically involved with his psychiatrist I'd have two nickels#♣️ classics
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i truly do find it kinda silly when ppl dont grasp that u cannot act like the narcissistic and self-absorbed behavior thats present in lannisters contradicts deeply rooted and intense self-hatred or low self-esteem. like the former doesnt at all dispute the latter lol it showcases it more than anything honestly
#ppl do it with all three and it was esp present with cersei a lot#we are talking about tywin’s children here#like yeah they have an awful relationship with the self and fail to love themselves#intense obsession with how people perceive u is also a key example of how there is clearly something wrong with your relationship w the sel#like most of the time thats their own voice of loathing in there ingrained by not only their society but tywin’s rearing#like them overdosing on copium is not at all evidence of the contrary#ig its bc they are all pretty psychologically complex but i do believe all of this is hard to miss#i do think this is what grrm excels at#jaime lannister#cersei lannister#tyrion lannister#like writing a realistic character dealing with stuff like this is not gonna be them going just ‘i hate myself i suck so had’ on loop#i dont want to take this the pop psych direction however im not psychiatrist lol
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hi! really enjoying reading your blog. i've listened to the beatles all my life but only now have i started looking into the more fandom side of things, and reading your interpretations/insights into a huge variety of beatles topics has been super interesting and informative!
as for my question, i've only recently learned how much paul is still like, actively grieving john. (obviously i knew he mourned his death, but john's now been dead longer than he was alive and paul seems just as grief-stricken as he was decades ago.) and something i've been wondering is if he's ever performed his songs that were obviously/highly suspected of being critical of john live since his death? based on much of what i've seen, i imagine he'd have a hard time even looking the fact that he was ever publicly reproachful of john in its face, so to speak. (when considering how wistful and rose-tinted he seems re: john, etc., if that makes sense?)
Hi anon!,
Thank you so much!
I would honestly have to look back at his set lists but to my knowledge, no. I really don't think he'd want to and, to be fair, I don't think there are many songs about John that are that critical and the small pool that are, aren't really suitable for live performances compared to others. Edit: I was wrong, Paul did perform Too Many People in 2005 as part of the setlist and briefly in 2008.
On the slight contrary though, as per the mention of 'mixed feelings' about John in the Lyrics book and other things, I think Paul's grief is intensely complex and that the public only get to see some of it. I don't think he is that upset or regretful about being critical, if you listen to the Salewicz tape closer to the time of John's death Paul says that he could have said an awful lot worse about John and Yoko but he hasn't because he loved John. In the context of the absolute tidal wave of garbage John threw at him, Paul arguably had the sense to not do or say anything really unforgivable so I think his conscious is pretty clear aside from not making up properly. I am not saying that Paul doesn't mean the nice things he says about John publicly (and if any of the anecdotes and stories about him in private are true, these stories are potentially more frequent and intense than you'd expect), but judging from various places and comments he seems to also hold some very difficult feelings about the last ten years of John's life too.
On the grief being so raw, sorry to go on a bit of a tangent but I've been listening to a podcast on grief recently with Anderson Cooper, and it's made me realise that Paul's presentation of grief is a realistic reflection of how intense grief for a loved one actually is compared to how it gets portrayed in the media and how Western culture likes to see it (ie you get like three years and it's done, moving on). A lot of people on that show talk in similar ways to how Paul talks about John (I see signs of them, they talk to me, they're a part of me, the grief can hit me randomly no matter how long its been, I keep things of theirs etc.) With Paul, the level of grief is I suspect how a lot of people actually feel when they lose someone who was extremely dear to them, but his is more on a public stage and so more visible than the standard person's. I do think his grief for John is complicated however by so much: the horror and senselessness of what happened, their unresolved issues, Paul's tendency to bury things deep, deep down, the intensity of his love for people and inability to process the death as 'it's too much' as well as the intense public attention. It's no wonder that the grief still feels so raw and unprocessed.
Paul is also an excellent example of how one's relationship with the deceased continues and evolves over time. Paul hasn't stayed in one place over John's death, his grief has evolved and transformed and I suspect intensified again in the wake of Get Back. I'm glad that by the sounds of it he is coming to a much happier place about it, even if it's potentially more rose-tinted than the reality. But hey, he's in his eighties, if he's going to have this weight of grief forever and if it gives him comfort he may as well focus on all the happy and sunny moments. More than power to him.
#all this to say#take care of each other okay#griefs a bitch#submarine postbox#the beatles#in a weird way Paul's also just got his lovely version of John back from the gaping maw of public opinion#im glad he gets to enjoy it#also re-read an interview where he said 'a psychiatrist would probably say I'm in denial'#which made me think about how he went to counseling after Linda died#i hope he also talked to them about this at least/he had long term therapy because it would take years to unpack all he's been through#also having to talk about all this publicly for decades#when his own son is like 'i don't like to bring it up with him because it's such a touchy subject'#john and paul#paul#John#the amount of grief Pauls had to go through#my respect is overwhelming
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So, I'm alive
I'm also more burnt out than I've ever been
But even then I opened up the next Dragon's Lair file for the first time this year. It's been, rough.
To condense: got a job, several actually (freelance + full time), worked myself to the bone for over a year, even tho i now only have the full time job I'm out of all energy and motivation.
This dumb little sketch is the first digital piece I've done for myself all year. Been trying to figure out the main dragon design for DL for years now.
Well, this one came to me in a cloud
I know it's been a while form the fact that a) my browser did not recognize tumblr just from me typing in the letter T into the url box and b) i was logged out. I truly never intended to leave, and even though I work in my preferred career, yeesh.
To be frank my mental health also crumbled into fine dust. I won't go into it further than that but know that I'm slowly clawing my way back. My employment will end on the 13th of Sep after which I'm taking a longer break to crawl my way to Shop's side and restore myself as much as I can.
Anyway, big preesh to y'all for still coming to my blog and liking and reblogging and commenting on my works. It truly means the world to me <3
#terri rants#istg i've had the next dragon's lair planned for well over a year already ajkhdajksdha#just#most days for a year been like come home#open a bottle of wine#drown in feelings TM#trying to figure out getting a diagnosis#got laughed at by a psychiatrist ajdjaksdh#i'm still broken over that experience#scared to try again#sometimes it rly feels like there's no help#at least not for me#anyway#i still keep going#a trophy for yee for reading the tags
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people (who don't have it) are so strange when you try to explain insomnia to them, to the extent that they grow uncomfortable at the mention of it or any explanation as to why you're tired or irritable or any other thing
i've never once had a conversation with someone about my insomnia that didn't seem to make them squirm or just was outright disrespectful. tried explaining to my parents that i have it and was just casually explaining to them i have to do breathing exercises and mental games + take melatonin to get some sleep, and even then it's not guaranteed, and my mom just changed the subject entirely while my dad laughed that it sounds like "too much work, why cant you just lay your head down and sleep"
#ive had to use sleeping aids since at least junior high#and when i do sleep i very often have nightmares#even my friends are uncomfortable if i bring it up but its just a part of my life#my psychiatrist is annoying about it as well lmao#i have one friend who also has insomnia and he's literally the only person who i can talk to about it normally#a lot of the themes in the artwork i make deal very heavily with sleep and lack of it
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~ Batman: Knightfall
Bruce not hearing Alfred in the shower can be interpreted as him being stubborn and lying about not hearing him, and I'm choosing to see it this way.
Also, Alfred, you were his guardian with Leslie for 10-8 years, why didn't you have him get a full psychiatric examination then? Especially after the huge trauma he went thought??
Anyway, Tim is getting informations from the ghost of a nun, normal shit in Gotham.
#batman#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#tim drake#robin#dc comics#my ramblings#knightfall#Alfred is getting away way too easy with neglecting Bruce’s mental health when he was a child#like you couldn't take a 10 years old to a psychiatrist???#You had to wait for him to be an adult to criticize him for not going on his own now???#you didn’t took him to a doctor and get surprised he refuses to go see one as an adult#anyway Tim meeting ghost youhou! we need more ghosts in Batman
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How did you figure out you were autistic? I know this is gonna sound ignorant because I am ignorant but from my very limited interactions with those on the spectrum you act pretty differently. You are heavily sarcastic and seem to understand when someone is joking in your asks versus not even over text. Idk. I know there's like levels and stuff but you seem pretty socially aware and funnier than most so now I'm just like what makes you different from a neurotypical? I tried googling about autism and it seems a lot of high functioning people have like sensory issues and are picky eaters but like, is that it ? Just curious
I am not self dx so I never "figured it out", I was diagnosed aspergers (back when that was the dx for high functioning tism) when I was 6, my mom took me to a psychiatrist. at that time I was selectively mute-ppl at school thought I was incapable of speech bc between ages 4 to 9 didnt talk at all except at home to family. I had frequent meltdowns due to emotional regulation problems and also cuz of severe sensory issues (sound, the feel of clothing which led me to wear the same outfit every day for years, temperature). Even when I started talking a little more at school I was TERRIBLE socially. I was made fun of constantly & didn't get what i was doing wrong but they always thought I was weird & they thought it was funny that I didn't understand that I was being made fun of until they started laughing & even then i didnt get what i was doing wrong. It didnt help that i was 5'9 and 140 pounds by age 9 I was very aware I stood out a lot both physically & behaviorally
So yeah like most kids on the spectrum I was bullied relentlessly for the childhood years due to my social ineptitude and general awkwardness & it continued until I managed to group in w/ the other unpopular "weird" girls with bad social skills in junior high. Still friends with some of them. So i wasnt as much of a target then tho I was still gossiped about, ppl started a rumor that I never bathed due to my habit of wearing the same thing every day (I had multiple versions of that outfit but not as if they would know). Special interests were a huge thing too obv. I read probably 8 hrs a day mostly books related to space or when I was younger dolphins.
But anyways, bc of my experiences when I was younger I knew I had to learn to assimilate, or mask as I later learned it was called. I studied that shit like it was my PhD. I learned how to talk enough (but not too much!) I learned how to make eye contact (but not too much!!), learned how to be playful but not be rude, learned to run to a bathroom before having a meltdown in public, learned to buy different clothes out of similar material, to not be seen eating the same exact food every day for months. Learned how to not infodump about an interest unless I knew the person cared about it. I had learned most of this well enough by halfway through high school to stop being seen as a total freak, & by adulthood I was not only not BAD at socializing but actually GOOD at it, tho it still was (and is) exhausting & requires a lot of recovery time alone.
Anyways tldr basically my point is the person you perceive now was constructed out of necessity to avoid being a pariah forever which is what I knew would happen if I didnt change. I was an autistic kid & now I'm an adult who very easily passes as allistic. I've been doing it so long that most of it doesn't take much effort anymore. I've always been good at learning things. sarcasm and humor can be learned & I've been at this awhile needless to say
#in my early 20s i had this idea that i had ''cured myself'' of the autism lol. tho certainly not the bipolar or the other mental issues. but#that isnt how it works#also its funny that self dx autism is so common now#common enough that you assumed that was the case with me . but nope i was hauled to the psychiatrist veeery early#asks
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Hello! I am totally new to reading Zukka and would love some recommendations. If you've already done this, please feel free to just link to another post! I would love a few recs of what you consider to be "must-reads". I'm open to any length or rating (although I tend to read rated E), I would just love to start with a few that are phenomenal :)
Hi stavro!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Zukka fics!
Here's a Zukka starter pack for you, I limited it to 10 fics to stop it from getting too unwieldy, but it was really difficult to keep it so short tbh, so if you want more lmk!
Zukka Must-Reads
Blue by blacklipscurse
Available on Ao3, Complete (Part 1), Teen, Slowburn, Canon-Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Blue Spirit Zuko, Secret Indentities, Ba Sing Se, Angst, H/C, Homophobia, Physical Disability, Humour / Humor
Wordcount: 192,682
This fic is a whole damn phenomenon in this fandom and it's phenomenal to match! The way the characters are written really draws you in. It's a very emotive fic and I truly cannot emphasise how funny blacklipscurse's writing is, I laughed a lot. Especially at Zuko, and sometimes Sokka. 😅 There is a sequel but it's a WIP and Blue can stand alone. :)
absence of heat, excess of destiny by theycallmesuperboy / @baegarrick
Available on Ao3, Complete, Gen, Canon-Compliant, Alternate Universe - Soulmate, AU - Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Wordcount: 4,336
Absolute classic, and I love soulmate fics so for me this is top tier.
Real Slow by surveycorpsjean (Ao3) / zanimez (Tumblr)
Available on Ao3, Complete, Mature, Post-Canon, Fluff, Smut, H/C, Angst, Ambassador Sokka
Wordcount: 21,490
The way their relationship gently unfurls in this is very satisfying. Highly recommend!
Hallowed by HairCrescendo / @sword-and-stars
Available on Ao3, Complete, Explicit, Smut, Fluff
Wordcount: 4,615
Smouldering smut and fluffy feelings. I'd recommend all of HairCrescendo's work tbh, they're a fantastic writer and they have about a dozen more Explicit works. ;)
three words that become hard to say (I and love and you) by overcomeeithlongingfora_girl / @overcomewithlongingfora-girl
Available on Ao3, Complete, Explicit, Smut, Praise Kink, Subdrop, Domdrop, Light BDSM
Wordcount: 2,977
This fic is hothotHOT, and yet also so sweet and emotional it makes my heart hurt. Bring a fan and some tissues.
Courtesan by lesbianophelia / @mendontprotectyou
Available on Ao3, Complete, Explicit, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Light Praise Kink
Wordcount: 2,200
So scrumptious I just want to eat it. Prepare to feel things. 🔥
For Peace and Zuko by BeersForQueers / @omgbeersforqueers
Available on Ao3, Complete, Explicit, Slowburn, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Future Fic, Canon-Divergence
Wordcount: 43,277
Speaking of classics, honestly you could read anything and everything by BeersForQueers and I would recommend doing so! They're a longtime member of the fandom. They were there for this ship when it needed it most (I want you to know that I just blew a kiss to the sky). Having said that, For Peace and Zuko is one of my absolute favourites. The sequel Ice Cave makes for a lovely epilogue.
when the prison doors are opened by alternatedoom
Available on Ao3, Complete, Explicit, Underage, Sickfic, Angst, H/C, Voyeurism, Animal Killed for Food, FWB, Imprisonment, Dub-Con
Wordcount: 164,648
I don't know if this counts as slowburn given... ahem, the progression of things. On the emotional front, perhaps. Their relationship development is messy in a delicious way, really twists you around into such wonderful spirals... Idek if I'm making any sense, that's what this fic does to my mental capacity! Every character interaction is just so so good and the way the tension gets ratcheted up and then unwound is captivating. I could gush about this fic all day, but instead I'll just leave it at: it's really, really good and you should read it.
In the Soft Light by CSHfic and VSfic
Available on Ao3, Complete, Teen, Slowburn, Pining, Canon-Divergence, Alternate Universe - War Ended Early, Angst, H/C, Firelord Azulon, Miscommunication, Pining, Underage Drinking, AU - Moon Spirit Sokka, side Bakoda, Sickfic, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bed-Sharing
Wordcount: 83,904
Some of my absolute favourite authors in this fandom and all of their work is fantastic quality. In terms of spot-on characterisation, wonderful descriptions, plenty of humour to balance out the angst... Their writing is masterful, and this is one of my favourites of their fics. They have more mature/explicit works as well. ;) (Side-note: I absolutely adore Zuko in this fic).
(do you take this jerk to be) your one and only by jatersade
Available on Ao3, Complete, Teen, Slowburn, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Arranged Marriage, Bed-Sharing, Misunderstandings, Pining, AU - Royalty, Alternate Universe - 100 Year War Ended Early, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Wordcount: 55,846
I love the arranged marriage trope and I love it when authors play around with the gang's status as the children of royalty and world leaders, and this fic does all of that so well. Jatersade's pacing and the quality of their charecterisarion really elevates this fic.
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I wanted to keep this list to complete fics, but I do have to mention feels like we only go backwards by oldpotatoe, because although it's a WIP it is iconic.
Also, a personal favourite of mine that has been discontinued (but didn't end on a cliffhanger or anything) is invisible string by wilteddaisy (taotu). I have it saved to my phone as a PDF for when I need a comfort read, that's how much I love it.
#zukka fic rec#zukka fic recs#atla#sokka/zuko#zukka#zuko/sokka#Zukka starter pack#Zukka must-reads#Zukka classics#This is just a short list I know this isn't all the Zukka classics#I can already think of so many that aren't on this#But have mercy even putting this together took me hours 😭#Good thing I missed my flight and had to take a 4 hour bus so I had the time to compose this huh 😅#Maybe my psychiatrist was right about me having adhd...#Anyway if you'll excuse me I have some rereading to do!#There are some recs in the notes too now 💕
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