#IS THIS ANYTHING I yell into the void
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i’ve been thinking thoughts and feeling feelings for a month straight help
#miguel o'hara#atsv#IS THIS ANYTHING I yell into the void#this isn’t a Miguel is an abuser post btw it’s more. as someone who suffered a household filled with domestic abuse#he fails Miles so ACUTELY beyond anything else as a man with this experience who lays his hands on a kid in anger#also yeah YEAH I’m gnashing my teeth at Miguel protecting Gwen from her father but then intimidating her when he’s lost his gourd#MIGUEL MIGUELLLLL GET IT TOGETHER MAN YOU KNOW THIS SHIT SO INTIMATELY CMON#seriously if someone had said George O’Hara during the Miles fight he would’ve had a stroke and keeled over dead#tunes talks spiderverse#tunes talks 2099#shaking like a wet dog can someone else be insane about miguel w me CAN SOMEONE ELSE BE INSANE ABOUT HIM W ME#long post#migedits
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one last night
#p5r#akeshu#shuake#persona#art tag#i finished this game last week#and it's had me in a chokehold ever since#i cannot think about anything else#all my waking moments are consumed by p5r thoughts#especially the bad end and BOY do i have some headcannons#i have like 3 dumbass memes and 2 long ass comics i want to do#but i aint got the time!!#im YELLING into the void guys please help me#also p5r cured my artblock#im rusty but i need to draw
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no one told me my 30s would just be an endless stream of funerals for the people who raised me but here we are :)
#everyone told me that actually I just dont think anything could prepare me for the last three months haha what the fuck is this#lost a lot of close-to-extended family members consecutively in what is almost a hilarious cascade of events. pretty bad!#I want to be excited for videogames and talk about my work again but every cell in my body wants to shut down instead#I know death is the one thing literally everyone deals with so I feel like a bit of a baby yelling about this into the void. but uhh#why do I feel so unprepared for this part all of a sudden? the fuck? can I get a breather? for a lil second?#negativity#text#death tw
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I’ve tooootally not been freaking out about the new Wataru card all morning (lying), but I think I’ve finally decided how I hope it’s all going to play out.
For context, the pieces we have so far are:
- Wataru’s new profile mentions training with technology provided by Eichi
- Wataru’s new unbloomed features the Ep:Link mask which is supposed to be in Eichi’s possession given it’s the symbol of Wataru’s devotion to Eichi
- Wataru’s 4Piece interview got cut off and he didn’t enter the screen until halfway through the time
- The line up for the event features half the Diner Live cast (Wataru, Izumi, Keito, Nazuna)
Here’s what I’ve come up with from this:
It would make no sense to have a Wataei divorce. Especially given they’re not actually together in the understood sense of the word (they are in love with each other and have expressed sentiments of devotion, but in universe they cannot date. They’re idols, they’re both ‘boys’ (dubious with Wataru) and Eichi is expected to marry advantageously aka Tori’s sister)
What would make sense and would also be in line with how enstars stories generally go, and with how Eichi and Wataru both love to act, is that the two of them are rigging this whole thing and are purposefully doing something ridiculous, or actually quite deep and meaningful, just because it’s funny to them/neither of them can do something genuine in a normal way.
First evidence: the mask
I really desperately hope that the writers wouldn’t just undo all of Wataru’s character development the first story we receive around him in the new era. He hasn’t worn his mask for an ENTIRE YEAR, and we’ve seen through events like Puffy Bunny that he’s even opening up to juniors he wasn’t that familiar with. He’s learning to overcome his fear of rejection which is so intrinsically linked to his mask. Why would they plunge him back into hiding behind masks both literally and metaphorically after making it such a visibly identifying part of his development? The mask is probably there for a plot relevant reason, and if it isn’t just a copy and is in fact the one Eichi has, we will hopefully get some line as to WHY Wataru has it (and hopefully it’s as hilarious as “babe can I take your wedding ring back? Yeah I know I offered it to you as a metaphor for offering myself but I need it for the bit. Oh it’ll be so funny, I promise. Amazing, I knew you’d understand!✨”). If it is a copy,,,, hm. Idk. We will hopefully still get SOMETHING about the fact it is the exact same mask that we haven’t seen SINCE BASIC!!!!! They could’ve given him any design but they chose to use the same one. There’s got to be a reason.
Second evidence: Wataru’s audition. It’s just STRANGE. It’s really silly and very funny but,,, Wataru prides himself on his performing. He’s an actor. He wouldn’t show up late and allow himself to run out of time unless there was a reason or it was on purpose. This is where I’m starting to suspect that strings are being deliberately pulled and Wataru (and probs Eichi by extension) are up to something here. It just doesn’t make sense otherwise
Third evidence: the diner live throwback. Could the character selection be a coincidence? Absolutely. I assumed as much UNTIL I realised that there’s a giant gift box in Wataru’s audition and it’s the central focus piece given Wataru doesn’t show up until half way through. You can’t not notice it, and it leaves you expecting Wataru to emerge from it. Where else is Wataru involved with a giant gift box?? Unbloomed diner live when he puts Keito and Izumi in one. Oh, look who’s also involved in this!! The call back to traumerei and diner live feels deliberate now, and I want to know WHY!!! Especially given that story is so integral to establishing that Wataru has grown to like Eichi and to want to share a stage with him not as part of any roles but as HIMSELF. It’s also intrinsically linked to his masks, because he didn’t want to be on the stage under any mask. He wanted to perform with Eichi just as Wataru Hibiki.
Where am I going with all of this? That’s a really good question. I’m essentially just easing my own mind because it truly would not make sense, given the pieces laid out for us, if wataei are entering a divorce arc. This and Wataru’s profile are the only new era content we have for him. The profile highlights Eichi, showing us that they are STILL a pair- they are still interlinked in a way inseparable to the narrative and to their development. I’m trusting that just like Atlantis was thought to be Bad News and turned out to be interesting (Wataru’s perspective hmmmm I wanna analyse this now) and also still wataei, this will also turn out to be good and not undo Wataru’s characterisation and development. And if it does just undo all the progress that’s been made without giving us reason and plot consistent explanations for why wataei might be over? Well it would just have to be bad writing :/ (trying to point out that i can accept writing is good even if I don’t like the direction personally. If im given good writing and it still turns out to be a direction I didn’t want it to take, I’ll reluctantly accept it. If it just undoes established development and characteristics…. Ignored)
#sorry I just needed to yell into the void about this#not proof reading anything so idk if this makes sense at all#wataei#enstars#ensemble stars#Wataru Hibiki#Eichi tenshouin#4Piece#diner live
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(Ramblings below contains big Outer wilds spoilers)
Gnawing on a metal pipe, my brain is full of ideas for gijinka designs of the astral bodies in the Hearthian solar system in outer wilds. Quantum Moon being blindfolded or its attitude changes depending on how they are perceived (playful moon, wandering moon, mysterious moon). Or or the hourglass twins being depicted with like a long scarf that they share.
Planets like ember twin and brittle hollow having lots of Nomai motifs bc those two are where the Nomai crashed and settled. Or! Or! Timber hearth having more Hearthian motifs woth a smidge of Nomai motifs.
Or!!!! The Eye having Hearthian motif to reflect how Hatchling is the conscious observer. And how maybe at first it towers over hatchling with such a grand and imposing aura but by the end it presents itself as roughly the same size as hatchling. A comforting memory before the new universe
#yelling into the void is this anything!!!#i needed to ramble about this *somewhere* or i think I'll just implode#i have so much shit to do and artfight stuff to draw and a birthday drawing to make but augh#outer wilds brainrot is real!!!#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#ramblings
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Oh you guys have no idea how much angst this single comment spawned in my head... If I was a fic blog it would be SO over
#someone please understand me i love brozone but i am also so unbelievably mad at them#what do you mean a performance goes awry and you leave A BABY. A BABY!!#yes rosiepuff was there. yes they left him thinking it was his fault#because the entire pre-show jd is LOUDLY SAYING EVERYTHINF HAS TO BE PERFECT#AND THAT HE ISNT ALLOWED TO BE NERVOUS#oh my god. brozones biggest hater right here#but not in the same way i hate other characters#but oh my god. guys#tears them apart with my teeth like a dog ripping up a pillow#wheres them apologizing to branch. for literslly anything#wheres them properly acknowledging rosiepuff died a few years after they left and he was alone#AND GREY.#Basically his whole life#can anyone hear me hello (yelling into the void)#koppaitepaladin#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls band together#beeps yapping#poppy “yap-a-lot” springwater here...
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[Image ID: Inked digital drawing of Digimon character Justimon. Justimon is a humanoid with a heavily Tokusatsu superhero inspired design- wearing a bodysuit with multiple different armoured parts particularly around their left shoulder, elbow and wrist, ankles, knees and chest and abdomen area as well as rivets dotted around their body. They have a belt with a large circular belt buckle spiked at four corners in the middle, as well as a very long scarf. They have a metal helmet on with no facial features, and four metal antenna- two longer ones that are sticking up and two shorter ones sticking down at each ear area respectively. Their right arm- a redesign of the accel arm- is much longer and bigger, with sharp claws at the end of it. It is very mechanical looking, with tubing and more rivet and gear motifs, their right shoulderpad having a blunt spike coming up from the middle. They are in a mid action pose, as if they were jumping or running, looking to the side with their head slightly lowered, their left arm bent closer towards their body whilst the right arm is fully outstretched. There are dark patches of shadow around certain parts of their body and scarf as well as small action lines. /End Image ID]
His strange fighting pose
#digimon#justimon#digital monsters#digimon fanart#dinu yells into the void#dinu yells in the void#dinu's sketchy art#digimon tamers#if literally any one person understands the like band reference im making with the like post caption ill.#idk ill get you lunch or something#WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP BEFOREHAND ill know#anyways i like justimon a lot.#hate ryo more then literally anything godbless but i LOVE justimon generally#its one of my top 5 digimon of all time tbh#rabbit coded ass digimon with those big ol metal antenna#i will say though. i like the different arm concept. but i dont like the execution#so that is yeah an attempt to redesign the accel arm#i LIKE the blitz arm the blitz arm is cool#but the accel + critical arm like. clash too much if you look at it as a whole.#like i dont think they match thematically with both the blitz arm and just justimons overall design#too like. i suppose mechanical and ‘crust punk’ y instead of very sleek and streamlined#thats a giant tangent i think only i care about this that much 😭 lol#but yeah. justimon. i liek them#technically this counts for digi ocs too but. god knows if ill ever talk abt them in depth here
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hm. houlihawk but theyre just dykefag4fagdyke
#margaret houlihan#hawkeye pierce#houlihawk#m*a*s*h#is this anything or am i just yelling into the void
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#this is so stupid#I have this one bulma pic that’s begging to become a pfp#but I cannot think of a single thing to add to it#dragon ball#dbz fanart#vegeta#dbz vegeta#dragon ball z#vegeta fanart#not coquette this time#because I cannot think of anything#maybe I’ll put him in a dress idk#I made these but they don’t fit the vibe of this account lol#when the side blog needs a side blog#yelling into the void
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genuinely why is there so much misinformation about the guardians of childhood book series?
#Lemme be a toxic fan for a moment bc im so tired and stressed and i need to yell my silly fandom frustrations out to the void#The people saying Jack is fourteen in them. No.#He can manipulate his age from 11 to 18 and is dating a 25 yr old#people still insist that the books are connected to the movie despite there being no possibility for that since 2018#And like they totally guess what happens in the books#I saw someone try to say that dreamworks were being 'weird' and aged Jack up to ship him with tooth but in the books he was a child#three things: He's not fourteen (see above for age. He's essentially an adult and is treated as such) and is dating an adult#And he didn't make an official appearance in the books until 2018. Six years AFTER the movies release#and thirdly dreamworks aged him DOWN????#Joyce's og idea was an adult with a wife + kids ???#Like what are you talking about#never mind the people insisting that JACK IS 12???? NO??? Where did you get ur information bc wtf???#the movie started production (in 2008) before any of the books even existed (first book was published in 2011)#We have no idea how much of the books they had! The most they had were Joyce's ideas that were subject to change (and boy did they change)#the walking eggs in the movie didn't come from the book (even tho they're in there) they came from Joyce's doodling on notes!#The third book published alongside the movie tie-in books and then days later the finished film premiered at the Mill Valley Film Festival#by the time the second book rolled around (2012) the movie was probably finished and was just getting distributed by paramount and#was possibly even finished in 2011! Four years of production of the movie and then the first book got released#I cannot express enough how much the books are not the source material for the movie. If anything is it's the 2005 short film Joyce made#God it's so infuriating to see people discussing the books like they're the Bible without having read it. I get so irrationally upset#And why are we talking about the books like they have any relevance to the movie after 2018? that book completely severed all ties#Like I get it if people want to connect them but you'd have to ignore the entire last book to do that (which yeah most do)#but there's so many assumptions about the books and it makes it clear who got their into from fan rumors and who actually read them#if you are basing ur understanding of a book you've never read based on fanfic maybe you just shouldn’t say anything about the book#rotg#rise of the guardians#guardians of childhood#goc
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SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT MY VILLAIN AU I’M GOINF TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES AND PASS OUT
#I HVENT DONE ANYTHING WITJ THAT AU IN A HOT MINUTE#I WILL THINK ABOUT THEM WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK#AAAAAAAA#rotates them in my mind on loop#whiskey yelling into the void
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I don't think that differently about Kaiser now
#maybe because I initially disliked him after all😭 I've come around to liking him as an antagonist more than anything#he's always been like this & I think my shock with this chapter was more about how I didn't want to assume the worst of him#but then it comes out and that's how he is so it's more of a “oh okay this is how you think”. Which yeah. Of course#I'm actually excited to see how the kaiser/isagi rivarly gets resolved. I'm concerned about how it will affect ness#I don't want him to get ignored by the story itself yknow? 😭😭😭 but he did get a flashback so i doubt it. still.#I want to admit that I kinda expected too much from Kaiser given how he acts now idek why#someone else said “what if Kaiser saw himself in Ness when they first met” but it makes sense that#he would never want to think abt himself as someone who needs help or is as isolated or easy to take advantage of as Ness (in his pov)#even though he was at some point (and arguably still is. some of those things)#so yea i do like that they have insanely twisted views of each other it's very interesting to me#<- i think saph-yells-into-the-void said something similar to that last tag#anyways...... your favorite guy disappointed u? couldnt be me💅 my favorite guys r would never do that to me💅💅💅#<being insufferable is my favorite bit. sorry#bllk spoilers
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The most frustrating part of being someone who mostly draws now trying to getting into writing, is that I can picture what I want in my head and how I would represent it visually.. but how the hell do I describe important forgotten object hiding away out of sight that the characters haven’t noticed is missing yet??
#im just yelling into the void aaaa#getting into writing isn’t a choice that damn game and my ocs have control#in comics I could highlight the forgotten bolt on the ground out of sight and forgotten.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#perhaps a narrator is needed.. or having them notice but not think anything of it at the time#or maybe I just need to change how the problem occurs..?#storytelling in different mediums is more difficult than anticipated#maybe I just need to alternate between drawing and writing scenes#typos! is posting again
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MUTUALS!
I'm writing everyone's names down so I remember. If I do not know your name (and please assume I don't unless you very recently told me (Moss) or your name is very clearly present in your bio and/or pinned intro post!!), please do me a favor and drop your preferred name in the reblogs/comments/tags so I can write it down in my special notes app for y'all.
As a reward for your participation, please take a cookie!
(Hugs will be given out upon receiving the name)
#you can still get a hug if I already know your name please don't worry#but yeah I've been meaning to do this for a while#and I always ask and end up forgetting#so my notes app? MADE. Writing instruments? READY. (hotel? TRIVAGO.)#i would actually really appreciate it y'all <3#ya girl's memory is bad when it comes to anything other than fandom#anyway thank you in advance <3#mutuals my beloved#just yelling into the void#mutual my beloved#cookies#hugs#if that draws any mutuals out of the woodwork
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Oil Rigs look god in the eyes and spits on their shoes
SERIOUSLY WHO JUST WENT:
"Ah, mhyes quite. The Number Must Climb™; sacrifice peasantry to collect the Death that coalesces in locked-away packets of the deepest underground depths. This death has rotted beyond normal decomposition, giving it undue ability to effectively reanimate inanimate matter upon combustion. "
AND THEN CONTINUED WITH:
"Furthermore, we shall build a monument to this Death; a Hell borne of jagged angles and crude iron. Behold, ye witless peons! Harvest for with me! Partake of what we know not of handling! Imbue life into our mechanical automatons; derive VIGOR from DEATH! A brutalist siphon that exchanges life quality for work quantity- directly converting my serfdom's labor into cold! Hard! Cash! This has no chance of hurting the entire species. Harvesting the energy of death is a smart and sane thing to do : ) "
#still wakes the deep#oil#oil rig#megalophobia#capitalism#military industrial complex#thoughts#tumblr#yelling into the void#idk#like IDK#oil as a concept#when you really think about it#is the fucking worst????#it's comically evil#we seek echoes of life within death that has went putrid#death has to die further to be harnessed#and THEN millions of years of temperature and pressure have to happen#THE EARTH JUST SEALS DEATH ENERGY BENEATH OUR FEET#AND WE HAVE THE GODDAMN COJONES#TO ACT LIKE WE WERE EVER SUPPOSED TO USE IT AND IT'S PRODUCTS AT ALL (I know life isn't “supposed to do” anything)#BUT DOES THAT NOT FEEL LIKE WE'RE PLAYING WITH FORCES WILDLY MORE DANGEROUS THAN WE COULD COMPREHEND#I don't think the point of cosmic horror is that cosmic horror is scary#cosmic horror becomes truly vulgar and stomach-churning when it showcases just how#fucking#STUPID#humans are#we do not comprehend how dumb it is to exploit a god#yet here we fucking are#rant in tags
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x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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