#IN DABB WE TRUST

[i-isa-i]

I think it’s so interesting how much authority is awarded “the author” in different fandoms. You always here people scream “Death of the Author” but still hold up authorship as an authoritative concept.

Like, when Buffy had bad storylines the consensus was something like ‘trust Joss Whedon” who btw turned out to be a horrible person.

Similarly, Kripke was kind of deified by the fandom (and also kind of by the show) during early seasons spn.

Even disclaimers on fanfics show this dynamic. Why did we write stuff like ‘these characters belong to JKR’?!? Like no shit, I didn’t create Sirius Black but the character still doesn’t belong to that woman?

It’s so interesting to look at the stark difference between gomens and spn fan discourse at the moment. I’m not saying one way is the right way, just that the dynamics are interesting.

Neil says something and most people respect it, some even see it as their duty to act as his apostle and spread his word. People are in his asks to try and get his opinion on certain fan theory bc they consider him the ultimate authority over canon.

And then you have spn fans, especially destiel fans. Not only do they not care what kripke/ dabb or most of the show runners say, they actively oppose the “authors”’ perceived interpretations of the characters and routinely make fun of them. Dabb says he wrote a finale that is only meant to satisfy 30% of the fans and the rest of the fandom decides to strike it from canon and collectively produce enough fix-it fic to fill a library.

Can you imagine what would have happened if Dabb or Kripke or whoever had asked the fandom to keep a spoiler or leak like the gomens one a secret?!? It would have become a meme in 5 seconds and it would have trended above a historic election.

[ananke-xiii]

Another dream, always mine (and yes it's still spn s13 related because i have a bone to pick with dabb over that season specifically)

So here it goes. (Part 1)

Spn s13 but kelly doesn't die, cas doesn't die, crowley doesn't die. Lucifer dies for *reasons* but mary, dean and sam are stuck in the AU.

It's still spn so we just have to have mirrors and parallels, okay? Like, this show doesn't care about continuity but damn! They will stick to mirrors and parallels like it's a religion and so we do too.

The thing is that the AU is not the lame-ass AU Dabb or whoever came up with, it's at least an attempt at being an interesting place. So basically the AU is as boring and dumb as our earth, nothing has really changed, people are still trapped in the rat race that capitalism is (see, we have a little bit of critique here too, there is no escape from the capitalist-fascist-heteronormative narrative or isn't it?), the frigging white picket fences are still everywhere like a fucking nightmare BUT! This is an earth without monsters, angels, demons, nothing goes bump in the night but depression, paranoia and suicidal thoughts (now these are the real monsters) and YET this is THE chance for our heroes, this is the promised land, no past, only freedom, the american dream is theirs to grab (but don't worry this place hides a secret, this is still spn everything must be queer, you'll see). Sam, dean and mary are kinda lost cause, surprise surprise! It turns out that's not the things you want that you can't have but that you didn't know what you wanted so how could you have it in the first place? Mary is restless, this was supposed to be her dream, she died for it and now she doesn't want it and she goes through another deep existential crisis (and, really, we all just get mary because seriously? any character named mary who's also a mother has too much fucking weight on her shoulder, just let the woman be). Sam is kinda okay with it, he once again refuses to get in touch with his emotions and flees from them like the plague: they're gonna make it work, they will find a way (i want to convey ross from friends vibes when he's like *in a squeaky voice* i'm fine! Here, that's sam in the AU). The guy lives in his delusion, this is his chance at being normal (and oh boy is he wrong, you'll see). Dean feels just bad, he's supposed to feel happy with his mother and his brother/son (the weird implications of this situation will be explored) but he keeps thinking about that little house by the sea (or was it a lake?) that cas bought as fucking jimmy novak and how the angel spent months there with kelly playing daddy and how the fucking angel played him and dean just went along and repaired his stupid truck as if to thank him for breaking his heart but also, also, dean will never admit it to anyone ever but deep down he knows, he knows, that that was his place, his angel, his chance (we will also have an explorations into the complex theme of mpreg with the due "Junior" references we all deserve and insights into dean's maternal insticts).

Now back to earth.

Kelly gives birth to a baby jack, cas lives with them to protect them from the angels and demons that will sure come for a visit (but once again he will end up being a total agent of chaos, you'll see), the angel is a bit of a mess, though, and his obsession with saving dean winchester is finally making kelly feel quite concerned with her life choices, maybe trusting this guy was a little bit insane, was he always this deranged? (We'll soon see why she thinks that, she might have a point). Meanwhile crowley goes back to hell and we once again have a cheap game of thrones situation (because why not? i can't come up with infinite original ideas to fix this plot, okay? Also this is still spn, i can condone SOME cheap storylines on the side, and anyway mark sheppard makes anything work so we're good) where his varys-like smart brain cells will put him on the throne again (who's this asmodeus guy anyway, prince of hell or not, fuck him, he will not stick around here for a second season while dagon died like after 2 episodes she was in, not gonna happened in my narrative). But, you see, the demon has his own issues, and goes visiting kelly and the angel because why not? He likes kelly she seems interesting enough for a person who birthed satan's son, escaped from a fucking angel of the lord, was kidnapped by a goddamn prince of hell, managed to baby trap said angel of the lord, stole the frigging impala and escaped that menace that the winchesters are. She then proceeded to give birth knowing she might have died. She is something. Something a bit unhinged maybe but crowley digs her, okay? He still also has varys-like smart brain cells so he needs to visit to make sure that baby lucifer is, like, not plotting to take over hell or whatever newborn babies half-made from cosmic entities do these days. Also, also, watching castiel putting baby jack to sleep with those big strong angel gym-bro arms did something to him, his daddy fetish and his mommy issues raised their head and something else too, and he foolishly promises to keep jack safe from hellish attacks and indulges castiel in his winchester obsession. What? He misses the brothers too, those handsome, tall, cruel white boys (we are reminded that, visually, the whole cas/kelly/jack situation is quite similar to the weird crowley/dean/amara thing of s11, mirrors and parallels need to keep happening people, this is spn, we gott have 'em). Castiel is living his tragic destiny yet again, he's seen the AU, has been there, technically knows that dean, sam and mary are safe but he just has to see it for himself, right? Like he has to make sure, it's not like dean not being there is eating him from the inside, it's not like he starts feeling the pang of guilt over the huge betrayal he's forced onto dean,leaving him left behind again and again and playing him that way, no. He copes by sitting in his stupid truck that dean had repaired listening to that damn tape (every time he does that we have a close-up of kelly watching the pathetic scene from her window and sighing as if in "fuck, FUCK, my life"). And oh, yes he also starts researching about archangel resurrection because i may or may not bring back my girls, aka raphael and uriel but this is for part 2, you'll see.

[swordofsun]

Thinking about the samulet today. Because thematically as a prop item it was just *chef's kiss*

Because it does symbolize the brother relationship. Full stop, through the entire run of it's appearances on the show. And the way it's utilized to show the changes in that relationship is where the writers werenreally just going above and beyond with the symbolism. (Thanks Dabb and Robbie!)

The first four seasons it is an anchor for how no matter the odds or the situation Dean trusts Sam. He believes in Sam. The samulet was given to him by Sam in a very clear way to show that Sam understood it was Dean and not their dad who was really taking care of him (something Sam forgets and remembers as is convenient to him over the years) and needed the protection. And Dean holds it as his most precious possession. He believes in Sam and their relationship.

Until he doesn't. It is important that Sam wore the amulet while Dean was dead between s3 and s4. It's a very clear signifier that Sam kept the faith that Dean could be rescued. It was his driving goal in those months with killing Lilith as a means to that goal.

But he gives it back to Dean and loses sight of why he was going after Lilith. In much of s4 he goes after Lilith to go after Lilith. Whereas Dean spends s4 slowly losing his faith and trust in Sam. He knows when Sam is lying to him, almost every time. He knows that Sam is sneaking behind his back and doing stuff he knows Dean wouldn't approve of and that he can't fully justify. Because you don't hide things you can justify doing.

The end of s4 is the complete rupture of their relationship. Sam breaks the trust in a way that it takes years to recover from and never even seems to notice. We start s5 and Dean does not trust Sam. He does not trust that Sam will make the correct choices.

Which makes it so good that it's at the beginning of Good God, Y'All that he gives the amulet to Cas. He's literally putting his faith in Cas' hands because he can't put it anywhere else (Gamble can have some rights). Sam and Dean go their separate ways at the end of the episode because Dean can't trust Sam. The amulet is gone and so is Sam.

It is vital to remember that Dean doesn't call Sam up at the end of The End because he wants to hunt with him again or has rediscovered his trust. He calls him because Zachariah just showed him a future where Sam said yes and the first step to stopping that future is changing how it happened. By reconnecting with Sam.

(Not actually Zachariah's plan, but it's what happened.)

Which brings us to Dark Side of the Moon. The episode about lost faith. In it they, and most importantly Cas, learn that God couldn't give less of a shit and they are on their own. (Cas' loss of faith in this episode and the repercussions deserve their own essay.) For Dean he learned that everything he sacrificed for Sam, everything he gave up and everything he let go weren't enough. Every little bit of goodness he tried to scrap together for Sam when they were kids wasn't enough.

Sam barely even remembers one of Dean's best memories. A perfect moment where he got to make Sam happy and loved. (And to be clear this is not Sam's fault. He had a very different perspective on their childhoods and it takes Dean years to accept this.) But the journey through heaven and seeing Sam's happiest moments drives home that everything he thought their relationship was built on was, not a lie, but a delusion. They don't have that shared foundation to rebuild on. Sam broke them in s4 and they don't have solid ground to rebuild because that solid ground never existed in the first place. (And is part of the reason Sam was able to completely destroy Dean's trust in him.)

Throwing away the samulet at the end of the episode is very clearly saying "We don't have a relationship I can trust in. We don't have something to rebuild." Dean still loves Sam, he will always love Sam, but that blind devotion to their siblingness is gone. And it never comes back, just like Dean never wears the samulet again.

It was theorized from approximately 3 seconds after the episode ended that Sam dug that thing out of the garbage, but it's a long time before we get confirmation.

The next time we see the samulet is in Fan Fiction. I think it's important, symbolically, that what we see is a fake. A bad fake. We know what the samulet actually looks like unlike the kids putting on the play. We know it's as fake as everything else in the show. And it's important that this comes at a time when Dean and Sam are very much faking a healthy relationship dynamic.

They never actually discuss everything that lead to Dean being a demon and Sam forcefully healing him. All of the s9 stuff is swept under the rug and by the time Fan Fiction comes around Dean and Sam are back to playing the roles of brothers who are also bffs. It's as fake as the samulet in the show.

It's not until Don't Call Me Shurley that we see the samulet again. This time we're shown that Sam did pull it out of the garbage and apparently carries it around with him. We can take this to symbolize both that Sam never gave up on gaining back their previous relationship and that he wasn't actually willing to do the work to fix it. He was just going to carry on and hope something happened.

We don't see the samulet again after this. It's purpose has been served. Sam has been shown that what he was hoping for wasn't what he was going to get by having Chuck be so much less than the God Sam's had faith in for so many years. It's important that this is the point where both Dean and Sam allow the other to make sacrifices without much argument. Sam was going to take on the Mark to retrap Amara, Dean with the soul bomb. It's a new stage in their relationship where they're willing to let the other person be fully their own person.

Dean still needs most of s12 to fully accept that Sam having a bad childhood was not his fault and he didn't fail Sam; he was given more than anyone could have succeeded at. But it's not a coincidence that s12-15 see them rebuilding a brotherly relationship on much more healthy grounds. (Still overly codependent, but nowhere near as bad.)

Dean actively embraces being his own person and exploring what will actually make him happy in a way we hadn't seen until them. Similarly Sam finally gets to the point where he can stop pretending that he doesn't like hunting and doesn't want to do more. He finds the BMoL intriguing for a reason. Most importantly they are able to do this without, for the most part, insisting that the other person do the same things.

And thank you for reading my essay.

[ladylightning]

the thing that bothers me most about dabb era supernatural is that he treats the audience like we’re stupid. he makes the brothers caricatures of themselves so this brother is SMART and that brother is STUPID and this brother is RIGHT and that brother is WRONG. the moral lesson of every episode is spelled out for you a hundred times in giant blinking neon letters that you must B E L I E V E in YOURSELF and TRUST your FAMILY. the audience is incapable of reaching any conclusion about what they just saw without being handheld so characters are constantly saying “well what does this mean for us” “what happens now” etc.

like sure kripke thought we were stupid but at least he invented new ways to break the fourth wall and tell us that to our faces. dabb patronized us, which is somehow worse.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

The Schrödinger's SPN Revival

So, recently there’s been a lot of talk on here and twitter because a couple articles have been published citing Jared and Jensen (or just Jensen in one POS article) mentioning discussing possibilities for a revival. Does this make it any more likely to happen or closer to being realized? I don’t know, but the guys have been mentioning it off and on for years already, so I’m not sure it’s any more likely now than it ever was. Also, with networks and the whole industry in seeming disarray, even if J2 want to get a revival going, I’m not sure it will happen.

But, let’s speculate anyway. Shall we?

(I CANOT get the link to work for some reason!!)

My thoughts on this, under the cut.

I’m no authority on anything in the TV industry, but I have watched our little show a lot, so I have thoughts. Let’s take look at each person on this poll.

Kripke - Obviously, he understands Sam and Dean. He created them after all. But, would I trust him with the revival? Well, judging by The Boys, he seems more focused on shock value than tight storytelling these days, so I’m not sure I would want to see an SPN on a streamer that he ran. It might become a case of all fireworks and little to no heart. Also, if he had ended the series in Season 5, both Sam and Dean would have been trapped in the cage forever. Not exactly a happy ending. Still, is he capable of manning a revival snd doing a decent job? Yes. Would I totally trust him with it? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I think he even has time to do it? Not really.

Jensen - Come on, people! If you want him to reprise his role as Dean, then he isn’t going to be the showrunner. Also, he’s an actor, not a writer, so it’s not even in his wheelhouse. So, no. This wouldn’t be a good idea. And after The Winchesters, I think it’s extremely unlikely that he’d be put at the helm in this way. The only upside to Jensen being a show runner? We know damn well Destiel would be ignored as vigorously as it deserves.

Robbie Thompson - Exhibit One: The Winchesters. So, no. Also, while he has written some episodes that I like of SPN, he was always trying to make the show something it wasn’t, whether it was Fairytale time with Charlie or trying to shoehorn romance into a platonic brother love story, he’s shown that he shouldn’t be trusted with the OG show in a position of power.

Sera Gamble - Season 6 while having some absolute bangers, was also a bit of a mess in some ways. And Season 7 was more so. How much of this was due to Gamble hersel and how much was due to Singer tugging at the reins, I don’t know. She is a proven showrunner, so I believe she could do it. She actually understands and enjoys Sam, so that would be a huge relief for those of us who actually care about Sam and want to see him get his due on screen. Also, she has never written Dean badly from my observations, despite certain past claims by “some people” on women not writing male dialogue well. In a lot of ways, I think she could be a good choice. But, would she be interested even? I have no clue.

Andrew Dabb - NEXT!!

Jeremy Carver - For reasons relating to Season 11, I would like to see him helm a revival. He can clearly follow through with a connected and coherent arc. However, for reasons relating to Season 8, where he had characters do a few hugely out of character things for the story’s sake? No. For Season 10 snd the bore thst it was for me personally (though that potentially had something to do with pressure that came from Singer)? No. All in all. I think he’d be capable of ruining a revival, but something tells me he isn’t particularly interested and they guys may not be that ready to chose him, either (purely just my gut).

Robert Singer - No. I believe he interfered with Gamble and Carver’s plans; I just don’t know to what extent. And worst of all, he did nothing to help steer Dabb away from the mess that was much of Seasons 12 to 15. Also, he’d probably bring Buck-Lemming with him. And can I just say a big, “Fuck no,” to that.

Again, all of this is just me rambling. I have no real idea how likely any of them would be to come back for a revival. And I also don’t know how much J2 would want any of them to run a revival, or whether they’d want to just get someone new who might be more likely to listen to their ideas. I don’t even know if J2 would have an easy time agreeing on who would make a good show runner from that list because I think they might not even agree on who they considered to be better writers, or be better candidates to showrunner. For example, I think Jared might be more enthusiastic about Gamble than Jensen would. And Jensen would probably welcome Singer more than Jared would. Again, I don’t know any of this for certain, but it just my impression based off of things they’ve said over the years.

If a revival happens what do I want?

First, it sounds to me like if there is one, J2 want to be a big part of it with Sam and Dean as central focus. This is what I would want. I watched the show for them. I stuck it out through the rough seasons for them. The only way I would watch a revival was if it heavily featured both Sam and Dean. Second, I think I would enjoy if they did a revival during the years (according to J2) between Episodes 19 snd 20. I would like this because it would make the likelihood of angel or demon interference minimal. And this would be the more likely scenario for us to get a more old-school creature hunting revival. We could still see Jody and co for those who care about that. There would be no need for Cas or Jack to show up, which I would prefer. Yet, it would be easy enough for them to make a brief appearance if J2 wanted to pander in that way. Also, I’m so very sick of Angel BS, and this seems like the best way to avoid it. Third, I could be interested in a bit of a prequel with John and the boys, if they could find a way to include J2 without making it convoluted and pointless. Finally, if they come back from heaven for some reason, I think it would be hard for the revival to have much in the way of stakes. And I really wouldn’t want a huge dose of Cas, which we’d potentially have in that case.

Anyway, here are my thoughts on the potential revival, thoughts thst no one asked for admittedly. Lol.

If anyone read this far, what are your thoughts on a revival. If it happens, who should run it and what would you want to see happen?

[1x20]

Why are you a deanbenny hater? 👀

askfasdfljk honestly hater is kind of a strong word (i know i'm the one who said it first but it's mostly hyperbole). however i AM a deanbenny disliker.

mostly this is because i think they deleted benny's most interesting scene: right before dean kills him in 8x19, benny admits that he's drank human blood since coming back from purgatory.

now as you can see even the top comment on that video is "I'm glad they didn't put the part where Benny basically admitted he fed on humans in the show. I'd hate to have to have had Dean deal with that." which is EXACTLY why deleting that scene bothers me so much.

s8 is essentially just one big contest for dean's affection between sam, cas, and benny. cas and benny don't really like each other (see, like, all the purgatory scene), sam and benny don't like each other (sam doesn't like)

now another theme in s8 is that dean actually has... kind of impossible standards? and he WILL do awful things to/for the people he loves. when dean comes back in 8x01, he blames sam for not looking for him even though sam thought he was dead:

DEAN After you looked for me. [SAM says nothing.] Did you look for me, Sam? [SAM looks away.] Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each another, but not this time, right, Sammy?

and then he IMMEDIATELY starts blaming sam for not continuing to hunt (even though this is something dean has also expressed interest in doing multiple times, see 2x20's "why do we have to sacrifice everything, dad? it's [not fair]", for example)

DEAN So you just turned tail on the family business. SAM Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead. DEAN I wasn't dead [He stands up and walks around SAM.] In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought is what we actually do.

&

DEAN He was our responsibility. [He tosses the phone at SAM’s chest.] And you couldn't answer the damn phone.

etc etc. this actually feeds into a theme for the rest of carver era which carries over into dabb era, which is that dean expects complete and full devotion to him and his ideals. BUT we're getting ahead of ourselves.

now dean's relationship to benny is actually kind of idealized. in fact in 8x05, dean & sam have this fight:

SAM Listen, Dean, we came here on a dead body. You asked for some time, and now there's another dead body. Are we just going on trust here? DEAN Yes. SAM Okay. Because we've killed for a lot less, and you know how these things turn out for us. DEAN Yes, I do - too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny - he has never let me down. SAM Huh. Well, good on you, Dean. Must feel great finally finding someone you can trust after all these years.

this IS in fact a load of crap. benny is barely even around for him & dean to have disagreements. the only extended period of time they spend around each other is in purgatory, but crucially dean enjoys purgatory because there are no consequences. purgatory is an obligation & consequence free place: he can be as violent (or gay) as he wants without it mattering. and that's why benny HAS to leave as soon as they hit the ground running in 8x01, because benny can't even stick around to have consequences.

as such, dean and benny BARELY spend any real time together anyway: dean could've said the EXACT same thing about cas in s5 to sam, but he was forced to confront that cas was a real person in s6 and that's when his relationship with cas immediately started breaking down.

so when people take "benny has never let me down" as a sort of romantic statement about benny, that kinda bothers me. to me that line indicates the total devotion dean needs to consider you a good person & the unreasonable standards he sets. PLUS it plays into sam's monsterhood as expressed in this gifset: people who are monsters are NOT monsters to dean as long as he loves them - but as soon as they do something he doesn't like or that love runs out? they become monsters again.

now benny ends up winning the battle for dean's affection because he is, in essence, the perfect dean companion. thinks he's cool, listens to whatever he says, is totally devoted to him to the point of letting dean kill him. this is INTENSELY boring to me. why bring up these issues dean's having if you're just gonna play into them and not do anything with it?

and by deleting the scene where benny admits to drinking human blood, you reframe the whole deanbenny relationship. instead of the point of deanbenny being "dean has control issues, dean expects total devotion from his friends & family, dean's relationships are all intensely dysfunctional," it turns into "sam & cas should simply do whatever dean says all the time and dean would like them more."

and even though i'm a deangirl, i REALLY hate that.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e2 devil may care (w. andrew dabb)

isn't it nice to get resurrected or whatever the fuck that was with abaddon naked but with your full face of makeup on

CROWLEY Torture. Brilliant. Can't wait to see Sam in stilettos and a leather bustier, really putting the S-A-M into S&M. Honestly, boys. What are you gonna do to me that I don't do to myself just for kicks every Friday night?

okay.

there's this little drum hit the composer uses sometimes that i swear is used exactly the same way in hannibal and it's been driving me slightly batty for a number of episodes. because can i dredge up a hannibal scene that uses what i'm thinking of...? well. this isn't it exactly but it's in a similar (or same) percussion instrument and reverb/effects on it

supernatural s9e2 / hannibal s2e8 - dramatic drums of doom

lol the transition of sound to the hannibal clip was so smooth i missed the drums i was trying to listen for in the spn one. sigh. this ... is why this watching one episode thing turns into a 2-3 hour ordeal.

SERGEANT (cont'd) So unless you can give me one good reason you got a couple of pretty-boy agents poking around my crime scene, I'm gonna put them in cuffs and spank your ass raw, understand?

all right. they are very pretty, can't argue with that

CROWLEY Oh, I know plenty. For example, I know she'd love you. Skinny, submissive... you're just her type.

crowley's in a mood. needs that weekly torture wank seems like

TRACY I watched a demon slaughter my parents. And the whole time it talked about how it was celebrating. Some dumb kid let Lucifer out of his cage.

that was unnecessary

kevin's a smart cookie, he better not be falling for any of crowley's bullshit

LOL practically a nip slip with how bundled up they usually are

ABADDON So appreciate you boys coming when I call. I think that's what I like most about you Winchesters. You're so obedient. And suicidally stupid. I like that, too.

DEAN Are we gonna fight or make out? 'Cause I'm getting some real mixed signals here. ABADDON I want Crowley. Or what's left of him. DEAN Yeah? What's in it for me? ABADDON I let you die. You give me Crowley's head, and I will snap your neck, quick and clean. You won't feel a thing, trust me. DEAN And if I tell you to get bent? ABADDON Oh. Well... you know, I've loved this body since the moment I first saw it. You're the perfect vessel, Dean. You give a girl all sorts of nasty ideas. So go ahead and play hard to get, and I'll peel off this "no demons allowed" tattoo and blow smoke up your ass. DEAN Ooh. Well, I gotta tell you, between you and me, it is a horror show up there. ABADDON It can get worse. Trust me. 'Cause once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. And I'll use your body. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out? Because you will. It's you and me, lover. We'll have a grand old time.

i don't really see all the threatened sexualized violence against dean in the same way as some people (which i mean, for me is good, because it's upsetting when it does read that way to me). this one is by far way more graphic and clear in intent and distressing. up there with hallucifer's constant mentioning of rape to sam.

angel possessed eyes are cool. janky wings with feathers actively falling off made me snort

ZEKE!SAM You are troubled, still. DEAN Yeah, it's just that, uh... this is on me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up Hell. Okay? So every demon deal, every kill that they make... well, you're looking at the person who let it happen. ZEKE!SAM You were protecting your brother. I am in Sam's head. Everything he knows, I know. And I know that what you did, you did out of love. DEAN Yeah, uh, look, Zeke—I'm gonna call you Zeke—I'm not really with the whole, uh, love, and... love. ZEKE!SAM But it is why I said yes.

i am, however, here for someone making dean uncomfortable talking about his very obvious feelings about sam

DEAN This is nuts. I mean, you're Sam, but you're not Sam, and normally he's the one I'm talking to about all this stuff. I'm trusting you, Zeke. I just gotta hope that you're one of the good guys.

i'm sure it'll all be fine, dean

CROWLEY Please. Your little plan to have me stew in my own... delicious... juices... pathetic. You want intel. I want things, too. Maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement. Quid pro quo, gentlemen.

very hannibal of you

supernatural s9e2 / hannibal s1e13

"Savoureux" is the thirteenth episode of Season 1, and overall the thirteenth produced hour of Hannibal. It originally aired on June 20, 2013.

Episode # Season 9, Episode 2 First aired October 15, 2013

funny. the very special episode that everything reminds nic of hannibal

DEAN Well... if she is alive, then she's dead. In every way that matters, she's dead, Kevin, I'm sorry. I know you're dying to bolt, man. I get it. But out that door, it's demons, and it's angels, and they would all love to get their hands on a prophet. So even with Crowley here, this is still the safest place for you. It just is. And we need you, man. KEVIN Because I'm useful. DEAN Because you're family. After all the crap we've been through, after all the good that you've done... man, if you don't think that we would die for you... I don't know what to tell you. Because you, me, Sam and Cas, we are all we've got. But hey, if none of that matters to you, then I won't stop you.

well i do kind of love how quick dean is to adopt someone, this kind of emotional scene with kevin feels a little out of left field. like i can see the components that led to it, but kevin was out here being miserable and tortured by himself, dean gave some encouragement and drugs. but for dean just gettin all squirrely over ezekial saying he loves sam, now he's gonna have a heart to heart with kevin? i mean, in dean-land i guess talking mushy about family is acceptable, but the L word is not.

DEAN Crap. We're living in a freaking sitcom. What about you, how's the uh, the engine running? SAM Honestly, um, I feel better than I have in a long time. I mean, I realize it's crazy out there, and we have trouble coming for us, but I look around and I see friends, and family. I am happy with my life, for the first time in... forever. I-I am, I really am. It's just, things are... things are good.

LAYING IT ON A LITTLE THICK, SHOW.

choke back that guilt there dean-o

[magnificent-winged-beast]

I'm incommunicado.

Can't receive asks since the message thing of my blog died.

Can't reply to my own post.

It's been 1 month. I don't hsve followers or they are bots probably, because I only got two since December. Just the secondary blogs had this rush of bots following.

Don't know if the people I use to casually chat know that I don't have this feature.

Aparently, I can't send asks either. Or I'm probably with this "pissed by the tumblr Gods energy" that no one wants to reply to me, or even tag me.

It seems they are trying to smother this blog slowly and casually. Like being a drunk on the floor and they put a gigant sing upon my body that says: Don't bother, she likes being like this and probably will bite you if you help her. And are waiting for me to just stop breathing or chocke on my own vomit.

So let it die, let it rot. I hope this isn't a sign of this side of the fandom also dying and moving on with other things. I still and adict of all the art and shenanigans this fandom still has in it even if the show ended almost 3 years ago.

Personally, I still want this to be a blog for Castiel and Misha, even if it's like 100% Destiel and Cockles since 2020. I'm really looking forward for the GK thing.

But if I've been forced to evacuate here, and begin from the 200 followers on my other blogs of personal endeavors, I should leave now.

I've been sending a request to fix this to tumblr help once a week. Not even a mail in response or acknowledge of my existence so far.

From my 6 years of experience here, I think I'm far from relevant or desirable as an user, even if I purchase stuff, pay for the no ads thing. I assume that a single person from Bolivia does not mean a demographic they want to keep, and the amount of followers it has does not count as significant, neither this blog as a part of those 6 years in the tumblr ecosystem. Because of the mass migration from Twitter, I assume, that are overwhelming their servers. Loosing me it's probably a lint in their corporate belly buttons.

Funny thing is I try to convince me that this blog matters. Even if many other people leave this site deactivating their blogs and leaving a big hole in the fandom in my opinion. But me, just fading away, or tumblr just expecting I give up leave and forget this blog, so they magically solve the thing once I migrate to another user or platform. Isn't really a big deal in the great scheme of things. I don't think anyone will notice my disappearance. I'm no legacy or important blog.

In the mean girls universe, before the let's point the blogs that gaslight us to believe that OF COURSE DESTIEL WILL HAPPEN IN THE END, how you DARE to not trust us META minds that know Dabb is our personal Jesus Christ and savior. At first I hang out with with them, but then I renegate and became the usual Cas Stan that got the "Bitter" tittle because I knew they will not have the Cojones to make Destiel actually happen on the screen as a real and indiscutible situation, like a kiss or an open declaration of love that had to go BOTH WAYS.

So, my importance here is minimal. Other blogs where more active and spoke about this inner bullying in on our Heller community. How being a Clown that got many questions and wasn't that happy after watching Castiel go to Superhell and Dean just staying there looking sad, but didn't say anything at all, wasn't the promise land they preach.

I will always protest about the awful way Misha was used to bait his fan base to watch the worse two episodes in human TV history of that finale just hoping he'll be there... eventually (I was that fool, and I waited, and I waited, and I watched... THE HORROR 😱).

Anyways, because I know this post probably will go to tumblr hell like Castiel. And be there in the empty of promises and things we prefer to believe to not loose or Collective Clown minds when Jackles has the time and has the 133563323th question about that scene that confirms that Dean was being a Bro and Cas was being a Bro and all the thing was just in our heads and Cas never said I love you, or he said it but it was more like a: BRO, I LOVE YOU, BRUH.

I'll try to reach the Server Gods, plead for my oxygen and pray for the cause of this punishment not being just another antiheller pro Jarpiss that got all the time in the world, or enough friends to ask for my reporting as whatever they could just to put me in this position.

I rather want to believe this is like a rite of passage. For what I recall, many blogs of people who I love and enjoy had a temporal deactivation or this kind of things once or twice in their history. So, that gives me hope to think, opposite of what I explained earlier in this gigant mental fart of existence and relevance on the tumblresphere, I'm probably and finally being initiated in the ancient ways of torture to became and actual real blog in its own right.

I. Really. Prefer. To think. It's just that kind of things. Not the Tall one lovers and their obsession with a gigant 40s toddler.

Still I will always keep distance from them and their Incestuos ownership of the S*PN tag.

If this are my last words, and or post, I want to say:

VIVA COCKLES!

[antigonewinchester]

15x15

CASTIEL: So no one made a deal? ZACK: No one's making deals. Like, at all. Uh, Rowena has a hard "people will end up where they belong" philosophy. It can be nice, less quotas. But, like, look at me, uh, a crossroads demon who can't bring in a deal? Like, what, uh, what even am I?

Again the notion of people going where they deserve, with Rowena getting rid of crossroads deals.

The Se7en homage is fun, if only for the horror, except I can’t quite imagine Sylvia actually doing it - killing people, sure, but setting up these elaborate traps for them is a bit much. She’s an interesting contrast for both Jack and Dean: a young woman who lost her mother and is now lost in her grief, blaming her father for “making fun of” of her mother’s trust in God and upset that his flock seems to trust him more than they trust God, deciding to take matters into her own hands.  

PASTOR: Jesus. Allah. Yahweh. Buddha. Krishna. Gaeia. The Four Winds. Castiel enters the building. God, you go by so many names. But it doesn't matter what we call you. It matters how we live. Come be among us as we provide for those less fortunate. And please help us in welcoming our newest friend, Jack. ... CASTIEL: My name is, um  well, my name's not important. I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. And then, of course, when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost. I didn't know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day, something changed, something amazing. I... I guess I found a family, and I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am. 

It’s the Dadstiel ep!! It’s sweet, I wish I cared more for Cas as a character so I could enjoy it more, but here’s one for you, Casgirls. (I do like how this ep sort of re-frames Cas’s faith in Jack as him caring about Jack as a person, as his kid, rather than the promise of Jack bringing to life a magical paradise. Also, of course, that following orders from on-high isn’t the right thing; making your own choices is.)

There’s also Jack learning how to be a “good” God from Pastor Joe. It’s not about the specific God you believe in, but about the goodness in human hearts and people’s willingness to take care of each other. Jack is one who ultimately stops Valerie with his powers; his human-angelic goodness against her dark faith in God and punishing those she sees as wicked for their sins.

DEAN: No, no. No. Why did you bring her back? You said that you wanted to show me something, that you wanted to, uh  to teach me something. I don't know if you were following along, but your little experiment, it came to a not-so-happy ending. My mom is dead. So what exactly did you want to show me? What was the point? AMARA: I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person, that the myth you'd held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life. [DEAN looks away then.] DEAN: And the second thing? AMARA: I thought having her back would release you, put that fire out. Your anger. But I guess we both know I failed at that.

This whole exchange explains A LOT about the Dabb era, huh. Particularly how the writers understood / framed Dean & his characterization.

[elvencloud]

I sorted my dog's kibble today - A reflection on 33 years of life

Meet the crew, Left to right: Rex, Dabbs, and Nanaki. Dabbs is the subject of this morning as he is a picky eater. I've never really had a dog be picky beyond wanting different food or their sibling's food instead.

Growing up myself, I wasn't picky. I ate my vegetables, my fruit, I disliked sugar as a rule ("It will get me in trouble." was my response, but truthfully things were too sweet for me.) I discovered two things I didn't like as a kid, okra and rye bread. Honestly, sometimes I didn't really have much of a choice. My family didn't have a lot and my dad would joke "Eat it... or wear it." Except fish. Gods almighty, I try and try - and you culinary geniuses that can turn aquatic life into delectable culinary art, I applaud you. Food poisoning from a fishy smelling piece of fish has tainted the thought in my brain. Fish makes my body rebel, revolt. It's POISON it screams. Even worse, fish was a favorite of his diet. My dad tried everything. Have you ever had Ceviche? Ever hear of it?

It's a peruvian dish. I'm going to quote the recipe I grabbed the image from:

"...usually served as an appetizer. It’s generally made from raw fresh fish or shrimp, that’s marinated in lemon and/or lime citrus juices. The acidity in the citrus cures the fish causing it to denature the proteins and become firm and opaque while absorbing flavor.

After the seafood has sort of cooked in a way other ingredients are tossed in such as onions, cilantro, peppers and tomatoes."

This was one of the many ways my dad tried with me. It didn't smell fishy, and I loved fresh pico/salsa. I'd eat it with a spoon. He tried shrimp, tuna, cod, salmon, shark. No go. Eventually we came to an agreement after fighting for years about it: "You have to try it once a year, otherwise I won't push the issue. You must give it an honest try, and if you still don't like it, we'll move on."

If there was one thing my dad did right: He kept his promises the best he could. It must be in the blood. *********************************************************************

So over time, Dabbs has been eating less and less. Fighting about eating his food, throwing kibble in his kennel around - and over time we realized he doesn't like the flavor. "Eat it or wear it." I replied. Sometimes I don't realize how much of my dad is in here. *taps my head* Over more time, we discovered it's specific kibble he doesn't like. The orange ones.

***********************************

- "I like the yellow ones." (Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet, Stargate SG:1) *******************************************************************

Again, we stood strong, not sure if there are different nutrients in each piece. "You're not getting any different food." He ate less and less to our frustration. Until this morning, staring at his mostly full bowl of food from the night before it clicked: Dogs are really just toddlers anyway, right?

Imagine: If every time you put a pizza roll in my mouth there was a 1/5 chance you would get sardine flavor. Would you eat? I would eat enough to survive, maybe. After a bit of encouragement, Dabbs tried the mixture. Initially, he rolled it around in his mouth, pretending to eat to placate me. I could see his eyes as he ate a fourth, then a fifth piece - "I haven't tasted the orange ones." He emptied the bowl. Enthusiastically once he realized he was hungry. And I was proud. ********************************************************************

Not to get too deep, but I lost my dad 20 years ago this year. I forget how many lessons he taught me in 13 years including: The kid will be all right. You just have to trust in him and talk to him. And he's right - I think I turned out all right. I might even be a great dad one day. When and if: they'll be all right too.

I think I owe fish another chance: It is my birthday after all... and I made a promise.

[bibliophileiz]

I love this and I just want to add:

I think there's also the element of Dean basically raising Sam. There's two sides to parenting: physically protecting your kids, a role Dean has openly (and proudly) shouldered since he was 4 years old, and then there's raising them to be decent people. Sam IS a decent person and I think a lot of that is because of Dean's love as well as Sam's inner strength but we can't ignore the kind of effect that must have had on Dean. Dean DOESN'T claim any particular responsibility for Sam turning out to be a good person so it gets talked about less in fandom but the fact remains that Dean would have been at least somewhat responsible for Sam's decisions from a very young age which goes a lot toward explaining Dean's tendency to "control" Sam.

And of course we can't ignore John's final words to Dean--that Dean would either have to "save" Sam...or kill him.

So you have this situation where Dean is forced from an early age to shoulder this extremely unfair responsibility over Sam's behavior, and the punishment for failure is literally the worst thing Dean could ever imagine having to do.

When you look at it from that perspective, Dean's decisions all make a lot more sense. And as the people who make up Dean's family expands, so does Dean's tendency to take responsibility for their actions. When Mary starts working with the British Men of Letters in Season 12, Sam is reasonably frustrated and disappointed but is willing to hear her out, whereas Dean completely loses his mind. When Cas works with Crowley in Season 6, Dean puts such a heavy guilt trip on him that Cas ends up with the moral high ground despite the fact that the show runners were actively setting up his villain arc.

(As a side note, this also goes pretty far toward explaining why characters so often hide things from Dean. There is no way Dean could have actively stopped Sam or Cas from doing the various things they did that he disapproved of over the years, they just didn't want to deal with his drama.)

This is one of the reasons I dislike Andrew Dabb as a showrunner and why I find the season 15 focus on Dean's "anger issues" so frustrating. Dabb accurately identifies that Dean is short tempered when it comes to decisions his family members are making but he spends the entire season having characters like Amara tell Dean that he needs to "control his anger" like we're in fucking Star Wars or something without ever addressing the more core problem of Dean feeling responsible for the actions of fully grown humans who can and should make their own decisions (even if they're bad sometimes). Basically Season 15 should have been about Dean letting go of that responsibility. That's why the best scene that season (and also Jensen's best performance) is Dean's prayer to Cas in purgatory. That's why Robert Berens' episode "Who We Are"--in which Dean trusts Sam to lead the other hunters without him and then saves his mom, not with violence or judgement, but with love--is stronger than anything else we get from Dean in terms of a character arc at the end of the show.

hi i recently came across your blog and have been reading a lot of your posts about dean - your analysis is incredible. i was wondering... in your opinion, which arc is the worst when it comes to deancrits misunderstanding/critiquing dean unfairly?

so i'm 50/50 on whether this is genuine or bait. if it's not bait, i'm so sorry. you did nothing wrong. it's just that i get a lot of messages that are so very clearly not in good faith. if it is bait, well, joke's on you because i'm about to say a bunch of words and a bunch of people are gonna read them. so.

i think the most obvious answer to your question is the jack situation but i'm not sure it's the correct one. i think by the time we even get to jack (especially to the soulless!jack part of it all) a lot of people have already sort of lost the plot on why dean is ever behaving the way he is. there's this tendency to view his behavior as if he wants to control the people closest to him, not always because he's inherently malicious but often because he wants to keep them safe and keep them close to him to the detriment of himself and everyone around him (see look! it's not deancrit! we know he's not a bad guy. we're just being objective and he's just an abusive asshole who should burn in hell). and i get it. i see how they got there.

but it's frustrating because how they got there is by 1. taking every single thing the characters say at face value despite all evidence to the contrary 2. viewing every single thing dean does or says in a vacuum, removed from any and all context and 3. forgetting that supernatural is a fantasy show, not a family drama or sitcom.

take the demon blood story line for example. what we actually see is:

sam going on a mission for revenge regardless of the costs or consequences (which he's aware exist even if he doesn't know the exact details)

dean trusting his brother until he finds out his brother's been lying to him

sam being told that what he's doing is wrong on multiple occasions by multiple people

dean offering ruby his gratitude for saving sam's life and an apology for the way he's been treating her since he got back from hell

sam continuing to lie and act shady

dean telling sam that he doesn't care about the demon blood/sam's powers, he just cares about sam's behavior

sam draining an entire nurse and killing her

sam almost killing dean on purpose and telling him he's not strong enough, not like sam is

dean still being the one to offer an apology when all is said and done, twice

but all of that gets rewritten into a narrative that dean's just never trusted sam ever and sam was only doing something he thought was right because all he ever wanted to do was save people. how could he have possibly known something bad would happen? and now, even after the fact, even after sam's said he's sorry, dean still won't let it go and holds it against sam forever and ever.

this narrative persists throughout the fandom. why? because sam threw a few tantrums in which he rewrote what was happening and dean didn't protest and the fandom took it at face value. (1)

on top of that, deancrits treat each of dean's actions like they happened in a vacuum. one of the things deancrits fixate on the most regarding the demon blood plot is dean saying, "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back." in 4x21. they treat it as if dean was being controlling and manipulative; abusive, even. they treat it as if, out of nowhere, dean just decided to throw john's words in sam's face because sam simply wouldn't do what dean wanted him to do.

what actually happened, however, was that sam had been lying to dean for twenty-one episodes about what he was doing, despite the continued warnings not to do what he was doing, and now sam had beaten the shit out of dean, left him bruised and bloodied on the floor, to go do something that dean had been told repeatedly, from a source they all thought was the authority on the subject, that sam absolutely should not do. what actually happened was dean made a last-ditch desperate effort to stop his brother from doing something dangerous that would get himself and possibly a lot of other people killed. (2)

the deancrits also tend to magically forget they're watching a genre show, not a family drama, when it comes to analyzing dean. the source of conflict wasn't that dean just didn't like sam's new girlfriend because sam trusted her more than him. it was that sam's new girlfriend was a demon and dean had just gotten back from forty years in hell being tortured... by demons. it was that dean had angels of the lord, before he really knew that the angels couldn't be trusted, telling him he needed to stop sam. it was that the angel that rescued him from an eternity of torture and becoming a demon himself told him that he needed to stop sam. (3)

so the deancrits frame this conflict between sam and dean as if dean just didn't trust sam, for no reason other than sam was hanging out with somebody else, and dean was being irrational about it. after all, sam was only trying to stop lilith, right? dean was being irrational and controlling. and it sounds reasonable when you look at it from their perspective. but their perspective is not anywhere near the reality of what was actually happening.

and that happens over and over and over again. we see it with the idea that dean is the one who is codependent to a toxic degree, despite all evidence to the contrary*. we see it with the idea that dean thinks all monsters should die and sam wants to save/help them. we see it with the conflict in s6 being framed as dean just being angry that cas dared to do something without his permission. we see it with the fractured relationship between the brothers in s8, both regarding dean's return from purgatory and the trials. we see it with the gadreel arc and then the one with cas leading the angels. we see it with the mark of cain and the darkness. we see it with mary's return. and then we see it with jack, and most especially we see it with soulless!jack.

it's all so exhausting. by the time we get to jack, the deancrit has piled up the same way the narrative circumstances weighing on dean have, and so it feels like deancrits are fundamentally misunderstanding the situation more severely than they have anything else but i think in reality it's just the last straw.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that the misunderstanding isn't necessarily about the individual arcs but about the way a genre story is told in general. they're not just unfairly critiquing an arc. they're mischaracterizing a whole ass dude and fifteen seasons of a show.

*dean dragged sam back into hunting. how do we know that? because sam said it. what did we actually see? dean bringing sam back to stanford for his interview. sam going back to hunting because of the fire that killed jess. dean wanting to take a break from hunting several times while sam kept pushing them to keep going. dean wanting to split up and stay away from each other for awhile after the demon blood thing. sam leaving amelia before he even knew dean was alive/back from purgatory. dean telling sam to go back to amelia. sam choosing, all on his own, not to go back to amelia. sam basically threatening suicide because dean had other friends. sam unleashing the darkness because he didn't want to be alone. etc. etc. etc.

**also i think there is a conversation to be had about dean's coping mechanisms and trauma responses being less palatable though not anymore harmful than both sam's and castiel's but that's a different conversation for a different day

[darknessbound3]

While everyone is off crying in the corner and whining about how bad this episode was and how shitty it was that Dean didn't weep, let me put it to you this way:

1) 99% of Dean Winchester's coping mechanism is alcohol and shovels. He buries shit as deep as he can with alcohol and repeated layers of absolute trauma... and why? So he can keep going. If he lets himself really sit on what happened, really look at it... he'd die. He'd shrivel up in a ball and let the pain swallow him whole.

But he's not going to do that. Because doing that means Cas died for nothing. It means his sacrifice was in vain. So, he buries it deep and he gets up, and he keeps going. He tries to save the world.

2) "There's nothing and no one I'd put above you." - Dean, to Sam, what feels like an eternity ago. 15X18 saw him ignoring Sam's calls in the middle of a world-ending, Thanos-snapping, total rapture apocalypse. He didn't give a shit what was happening with Sam and Jack. He didn't give a shit if Sam knew he was still alive or not. He just lost Cas.

15X19 has Dean telling God that he will kill Sam, he'll give up, he'll wave the white flag if he just puts everything right again. If he just brings Cas back. He's certainly putting someone above Sam now.

3) The last time Dean faced someone he cared about who inherited God-like powers, terrible things happened. (I'm looking at you, God!Cas). He was scared to death. If Jack was truly absorbing all the wasted power around him, then be realistic. He was juiced up by Death, Lucifer, Michael, God and Amara. That's one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, two archangels, and two deities for anyone keeping track. He's an actual toddler.

If Cas, who already loved them all so much he'd do anything for them, could go dark side with that much power, what would someone like Jack do? The two year old son of Lucifer himself, who already killed Mary, who already killed innocents, and who Dean had been berating for months? He was scared. So was Sam. They didn't ask for favors, they laid on the worship thick. "Of course he's coming back. We'll get him (enter bunker fixtures here)". If I were Dean, I wouldn't have uttered the name of a single person I loved in Jack's presence until I was sure he wouldn't end up like every other god-level dickbag he's ever met.

He probably thought he was doing Cas a favor.

4) For the first time in his life, Dean Winchester knows he's more than Daddy's Blunt Instrument. And why does he suddenly know this after years of being told the same thing? Because he saw the truth in Cas' eyes. He saw the facts laid bare, he finally — FINALLY saw in himself what Cas has seen in him all along.

If his angel says it, believes it enough to suffer a fate worse than death for him... the least he can do is listen. To believe. To do everything in his power to not prove him wrong.

So he walked away. After wanting Chuck dead more than anything he's ever wanted in his entire life... he walked away. Weightless. Unincumbered. Without a shred of regret. He walked away with a fucking smile, because he really did win. He won against every demon inside of him that had tried to tear him down since he was 4 years old. He won against every heartbreak he'd ever suffered, every year in Hell he spent being tortured. Every mistake he ever made. He won, because in the end, when it mattered, he chose mercy. He chose to let go of his quest for revenge. He chose to lead with love. "Everything you've ever done, the good and the bad... you've done for love."

And why? Because his angel, his best friend, the love of his life... knew he was capable of it. Held him to a higher standard than he ever held himself, and he'd kill his own brother (see point #2) before he let Cas down ever again.

The path is clear. Dean's arch has come full circle, freeing his path in more ways than one. He now believes himself to be the man that Cas thinks he is, and only now — only after this final turn when he finally believes himself to be a man worthy of love — can he finally accept it.

Dabb gave us a gift in letting BuckLeming wrap up the mythos of this series. He let them write their bronlies ending, let them write the ending they can sell to ignorant countries that won't be happy with what he does in the true finale. And all that's left is 40 minutes... 40 minutes for Dabb to bring this entire, glorious, wonderful, brilliant story to a close.

And it won't be in violence. "Family don't end in blood."

It ends in love.

[supernatur-ally]

also, dabb wrote the finale. he's an advocate for destiel too iirc

he let Buckleming wrap up the plot so he could write the gay. this is good. take a breath. we've got this.

[estrel]

ok if you had to choose one thing to cling to when hoping for a good 15x20, it's this right here:

“...more concerned with Sam, Dean and this family they’ve built around them” - Dabb

[scoobydoodean]

Hmm... I think what mainly bothers me about 4.13 is that there's this incredibly surface-level analysis of Sam and Dean's relationship within that's kind of shoe-horned into it over halfway through the episode, and I think they probably shouldn't have tried to make the episode about that at all because they didn't... do a good job.

Dean is paralleled with two "sympathetic" bullies. The first is a teenage girl who's ostracized from the popular table because she dared to do "the reverse cowgirl" with a boy and now everyone at her usual lunch table is calling her a slut (even while being jealous/wanting to be her or be with her—and envy as a motive for hatred/murder is a big component of the episode). Dean spends the entire episode saying and doing sexy sex guy routine in the past and present, and at the end of the episode, Dean references "the full cowgirl". We don't know what's going on with this girl Dean's been paralleled with exactly, but we know when we see her crying in the bathroom that she must be going through something painful in her personal life. I think if we'd stuck with this parallel, I'd be fine (behated cheerleader line aside).

What bothers me is the awkward attempt to parallel Dean with "Dirk The Jerk" with 10 minutes left in the episode. We learn that Dirk—who was a bully to young Sam and Barry—lost his mother at the age 13 due to cancer. Prior to her death, Dirk's father was stuck working three jobs to make ends meet. So Dirk had to take care of his mother on his own while his father worked, until the day she died. I.e., he's a parentified child like Dean, and that's where his anger came from that he took out on everyone else—including Sam. (The hairs on the back of my neck are raising here remembering 4.06 "Yellow Fever"—their previous—and first—episode).

Then we get this (painfully) pointed dialogue from Sam at the end of the episode:

SAM I'm not evil, Dirk. I'm not. And neither were you. Trust me. I've seen real evil. We were scared and miserable, and we took it out on each other -- us and everybody else. That's high school. But you suffer through that, and it gets better. I'm just sorry you didn't get a chance to see that.

Forgive me if my brain doesn't explode in awe at Loflin and Dabb's big brained script writing here or their clear mastery of canon events that occurred in the show.

"The whistle makes me their god" is a great line though.

…I hate “After School Special”.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e17 inside man (w. andrew dabb)

why are y'all's bedrooms so far apart? say it's downright miraculous what with the time in hell etc, if dean (or sam) aren't regularly having screaming night terrors.

so we're all gonna lie about everything, all right

SAM All right, well . . . It's playing in Wichita, so I might not be back till morning. DEAN Well, I trust you. Make good choices.

what a weird thing to say.

little freckle appreciation with the blood sigils

small cuteness with dean pranking sam's room. except the toothbrush in the armpit :S gross, dean-o

this entire conversation between cas and hannah, i'd turned off captions so i thought he said "anna" and i was so distracted trying remember if anna was dead or not i missed the whole thing lol

laughing semi-hysterically at yet another surface product placement (this is the third at least and i know i point them out but i can't fucking find anything with tumblr search. i knew at least one was with charlie so i had to go find posts on her episodes, to find the post with microsoft and surface, both which returned bupkis in the search I HATE YOU. it's like posts aren't indexed, can't site:search them either -- EDIT I FUCKING FOUND IT because i was looking up this ep for 10x18)

it's silly but it's a little weird pet peeve i have that tv people with short hair never touch it even if it's somewhat reasonable that when you have junk in your hair you don't wanna touch it. i have my hands in my hair constantly (better i mess with my hair than bite off chunks of skin hey hey) so i recall seeing gifs of this moment like hallelujah (but i figured actually it was on a gag reel because when do characters ever do this? NEVER) anyway. all to hustle some pool and look a little disheveled haha

and a wink at the bartender ok

CASTIEL I'll break it down. SAM Dude, dude, dude. Chill. CASTIEL What? I'm helping.

haha that could be his tagline. what? i'm helping 🥺

so dean is bored and wants to start some shit so he's gonna hustle these dudes in the least subtle way possible and maybe if he's lucky he'll get to beat some people up?

always here for the bonus competency (i had to search the wiki for scenes dean was playing pool in a later season so i could figure out what fucking episode tag to put in my blog search [9x17] because searching for "competency" "rack" "racking" etc no. *incoherent rage*)

oh, dean.

BOBBY Hell, I'm already dead. What's the worst that could happen?

shut your mouth, bobby!

pretty shot. i like how the knife is reflecting a little strip of light on his face. and he's all anger ball up top and very carefully cradling her head lol

ROWENA You're a good influence on him. That's why you need to die.

lol okay. not the grudge against the men of letters and wanting to get whatever shit they have stashed away in the bunker. can't remember really at all what that episode was even about that they were together in

BOBBY Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

no escaping the mob or the winchesters

ANGEL RADIO The Bobbys are fighting back. All hands. We need all hands. They're surly. I repeat, the Bobbys are surly.

this is so ridiculous :p what is dean up to with crowley

CASTIEL Dean doesn't know we're doing this. BOBBY Well, that's a page right out of the Winchester playbook, ain't it?

it's funny because it's true

CROWLEY She says I've gone soft. DEAN You have. What? Yeah, maybe it's all the human blood that Sammy pumped into you, you know? Maybe it's, uh . . . I don't know. I don't know. But the old Crowley, he would have come in here with hellhounds and demons, and he would have blown the roof off the joint. Now? You didn't want to fight. You wanted to talk. And maybe I've changed, too. Here I am playing Dr. Phil to the King of Hell. Never saw that coming.

waiting for a hug, relive the good old times. so i'm getting more reunited exes vibes than i ever got of boyfriend vibes from their brief fling during demon!dean times

CROWLEY Because . . . We're family. Blood. DEAN That's not the same thing. A wise man once told me, "family don't end in blood," but it doesn't start there, either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family's there through the good, bad . . . all of it. They got your back . . . even when it hurts. That's family. That sound like your mother?

you know, i am enjoying this weirdly sincere interaction but doesn't really mesh with where they left things off with the blade debacle

stop it, bro.

sticking with the ass-tiel, still got a laugh from me unfortunately

METATRON Oh, I'm afraid I am. I know about the Mark. I have your Grace. I make the rules. It's called leverage, boys. Learn it, live it, love it.

he's not live laugh loving getting his grace yoinked and being shot in the leg

:p goofy

BOBBY’S VOICE “Sam . . . So, this is weird, huh? Look, I just wanted to say that Cas told me what you're doing for Dean. And I'm not asking you to stop, but maybe going behind his back ain't the best idea. Your brother, he can be stubborn. But I think he'd understand. And I know it's the life, doing a little bad so you can do a lot of good. But sometimes the bad's real bad and the good, it can come at one hell of a price.

that's putting it lightly. anyway, i'm glad we're getting someone to tell him straight and plain to one of their faces, to stop fucking going behind each other's backs. and giving them the benefit of the doubt that they'll understand if you explain.

I ain't there on the ground, and whatever you do, I know you'll make the right choice. You're a good man, Sam Winchester . . . one of the best. And I'm damn proud of you, son.

takes a little emotion out of it when all i can think is You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.