#IMAGINES DRUNK LOUIE.

[theehorsepusssy]

TheeHorsepussys Portland : Vaseline Alley aka Stark Street aka Harvey Weinstein ( I always get that mixed up) Harvey Milk Blvd

Documenting some gay-ass history for the kids

Red Arrow - 2 blocks to Touche. Not gay but spent most of the 90s in that bar. Fancy looking dining room/pool room but mostly service industry clientele. Hard to find a spot to do drugs discreetly.

Green - Everyday Music. Where to sell vinyl for dope money.

Yellow - Big BIG abandoned, scary building. Looked haunted. Was eventually renovated. But gave you the heebie-jeebies walking past it at night. Gay bashing zone

Green Arrow - The City Nightclub. Underage nightclub. Chicken Hawks(is that Gus Van Sant?), lots of drugs, good DJ downstairs, GREAT DJ upstairs

Red - The Henry Weinhard Brewery (demolished) Made the area smell really, really awful. Gagging thinking of it.

(Stark Street starts to the right here. It looks like they built some weird barrier in the intersection..probably cuz drunk gays in middle of street)

Orange - The Bathhouse. Home away from home. I would sell rip-off size bags of meth to subsidize my habit. Sucked a huge penis here. Gagging thinking of it. Gay bar downstairs was called either Flossies or Silverado or both. Male strippers. Would buy my shitty little bags of dope.

Blue Arrow - at one moment in the 90s, a sex club I think owned by Fantasy Video. Robert would meet his side piece there . The director Todd Haynes, I fuzzily recall reading, was a patron. I went once. Weird vibe. There was a plaque on the wall outside the entrance commemorating the recording of Louie, Louie.

Orange - The Eagle. Bar where it was common to have sex. I saw a guy take a foot up his butt. Cops started randomly coming in to cock block. There is a new bar called the Eagle up in NE Portland up by the Heroin Fred Meyer (I suppose they all are now)

Blue - Transient hotel above the store I hated buying cigarettes from but can't recall why. Maybe it was expensive.

Green - Greasy spoon called Roxys. Horrible breakfast food 24/7. I think it used to be down the street on Everett. Had a tiny basement bar. Moved to Vaseline Alley in 90s. Had ginormous picture of Quentin Tarantino or some shit. Very 90s

Yellow - Three Sisters (Six Titties) dive bar/gay bar. Never really went there. At some point was a male strippers bar. Robert had me escort one of his side pieces there. Kid thought the stripper was really into him. I tried to explain. I won $600 on the poker machine and drove the kid home.

Orange - Django Records. Large amounts of cheap used records. 3 for a dollar bins! I bought Eyehategod In the Name of Suffering here. Also the Cruising soundtrack...33cents!

Red - Fancy, expensive hotel. Yell really loud underneath the windows. They like that. Cops always parked along this stretch. Drunk gays got their first DUIs around here.

Mint- block of amnesia. I don't think it existed

Red - Boxes. Gay bar where you did lines of coke/mda/meth in the bathroom without hassle. TV sets with Oprah or Steel Magnolias, shit like that on. Spartacus Leather fetish store was down a couple doors. Inside Boxes, you could take a wood paneled passage through the fish restaurant kitchen ( I don't think anyone ever ate there) and end up at.....

Green - the Brig. Named because dance floor had bars around it like a jail cell. Imagine the creative dance moves as the queens grappled bars, ass out while Madonna songs played on a loop. Your meth dealer could be found here, doing a fan dance. Don't wear black. Semen stains show up under the blacklights. (or do)

Yellow - the house paint store. Eventually became the Panorama in the age of MDMA. Rave type music. Went there once to meet a dealer. Obnoxious experience.

White - Silverado. Country Western night most nights. My roommate dj'd andtaught line dancing but dance floor was like 10 sq ft so it was just the gays holding hands and boot scootin' in a little circle for eternity. Bar I could get into underage.

Orange - Ben Stark Hotel. Like outta Barton Fink. But really,really seedy. Had some weird sex in there. Now a boutique hotel owned by some Donald Trump guy Gordon Someone who did something once. Probably haunted.

Brown - Scandals. Beer /wine bar. Big windows so you can people-watch and talk shit. Used to go in there underage until I got thrown out snorting a rail of MDA off the tabletop. Had electronic darts and video poker in the 90s. Me and Robert had a domestic dispute there.

Red - row of funky vintage/antique shops. Someone used to broadcast a pirate radio station somewhere around there in the 90s

Blue - Portland Underground. Small venue had some big shows early 90s. Top floor is where I swear I saw Econochrist play. But it's an office building. Maybe confused

Yellow. OBryant Square aka Paranoid Park. Skateboarders and street drugs. I got "chased" by AF Nazis here. Probably more like I ran my fat ass up the street after this girl I knew screamed "run!" And they probably just laughed. I didn't look back. I think it's demolished now.

White arrow- up the block toward the Galleria. Second floor toilet was really cruisy. Careful of cockblocking rent-a-cops. Kiosk by cafe I think was only place downtown to buy pipe to smoke pot

[deadaccount301701]

i came bak

there was c*m on my louie plushie

i cleaned it well

all well

i heard him

I HEARD HIM REACT TO WHAT I DID

probably because i was drunk as a middle class father in the 90's and delusional as a degenerate

expect me to offend some people, because lust stays with you forever no matter what

also i realized that tumblr still doesn't like nsfw stuff so go to my pixiv for that cool shish

[a-roguish-gambit]

Since @ariel-seagull-wings asked for it sharing some of the campaign art I did for it to give vibes of it. Most are holiday pieces.

Here's a quick pic of the main cast I did for new years plus some favorite npcs (including Moxi the teiflings, dan Chesterfield the tabaxi, Clementine the opossum, zelda the vampire, and former player florence the genasi (this was originally a one shot but she couldnt play more than the one shot)

There's haliford the damphir and former lawman with a heart of gold framed for crime by a coworker (the pale dark haired guy with the tired eyes)and is @cyborgartalchemist2 's character, Kaliah another damphir who is an outlaw turned lounge singer trying to escape her past(darker skinned one in sequences), a curious and clever young half elf named nali (holding the possum) who is the grandson of a senator and trying to hide burgening wild magic ablilities from his family as it will bring shame to their historic wizard household and @thephilosophersapprentice 's character, Rosalyn the fantasy russian immigrant half harengon who is fleeing the fantasy russian mob with her sister thanks to mistakes of her father (bunny girl) and is @habits-white-rabbit 's character, as well as basil the lawyer paladin half orc who is sick of the system repeatedly failing and making criminals out of innocent people over potions so he kinda snaps and becomes a bootlegger, who is @xpegasusuniverse 's character.

Here's some art I've done they work for a red dragon named Lawrence streakfire bootlegging potions and escaping the long arm of the law established by the wizard council, aka the wizard council guard. Most work for his front companies, the dragon's den(main front and dinner theater) and the magic telegram company (name they use when making deliveries).

Here's the big bad evil guy, a lovcraftian bard/warlock, serial killer, and vampire satyr named argyll bellsworth hell bent on getting the players out of his way

Some quick doodles I did of "the vamps" +Kaliah and streakfire with nali

The vamps are a collection of vampires that work for streakfire that are also "vamps" aka extreme flappers. Their names are Zelda (to the left of Kaliah) Ellie and Vanessa (two girls on the other side, Vanessa being the one drunk on the table), and Velvet the dragonborn-vampire also pictured is Louie the red dragonborn, the main host of streakfire's dinner theater.

Here are some images of inside and outside of the dinner theater as well as baiguijing's (another kingpin in the city) gambling parlor/restaraunt. Basil isn't in all of these cause he joined in January.

But you can see a lot of the friendly NPCs they have interacted with, including vampires, teiflings, tabaxi, dragonborn, kobolds, and more!

So this is the kind of world I'm imagining. It takes place in fantasy West Virginia in a city called steel ball City, which is basically a mix of Chicago, NYC, Boston, Baltimore, and Detroit with the direct surroundings having more southern vibe for flavor. For plot reasons I wanted something also fairly close to the capitol, driving distance to an ocean, as well as access to Appalachia mountain range.

So yee. Main plot is in the country of Aurumigo after the shadow war and the havoc that wreaked, and a long history of moral persecution of what is considered "wild magic" after necromancy on the bodies of sentient beings fell out of favor in the early 1800s, most forms of potions were banned in the year 1920. Anything that was not considered a health potion has been strictly prohibited by law to make, take, or sell, and health potions of any kind have strictly been regulated and can only be produced by certain individuals with permits to do so, and many requiring prescriptions to obtain. This caused a rise in organized crime as cheap alternatives and black market potions grew high in demand. And so our five individuals find themselves under the wings of notorious mobster, the red devil himself, Lawrence streakfire.

Tbh my players have made this world so much fun to build and I owe most of the great aspects of it to them and their willingness to explore it. From the Americana fae rhealm, to haunted graveyards of fantasy New Orleans, and much much more. It's been awesome!!! Couldn't ask for a better table.

So I run a DND campaign where it's a 1920s fantasy version of America where there is potion bootlegging and I've been having to prep for my session for tomorrow.

I cant stop thinking about how Gambit and rogue would fit into that world. Their powers would be more normalized falling under sorcery magic probably but still....its such an intriquet world ive made up....and if i used the dnd races i chose for them for fantasy day for rogue/gambit week..... Would they be friends? Would they be enemies? Would they be working for one of the many bootlegging rings I came up with? hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'm blaming @cyborgartalchemist2 for this brain rot.

Not cause he really had anything to do with it but he's one of my players and got me into Romy. Prepare to suffer in DND.

[lumosouls]

A dream come true

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!artist reader

Warnings: Anxiety, shakiness, slight blood, bad parenting(?). Tell me if I’ve missed anything.

Summary: The reader paints an unknown man from her dream, and Bucky sees his face on a painting during the exhibition.

Word count: A little over 1.7k

Your hands were clammy, nails digging into the soft flesh of your palms, nibbling on your bottom lip, you opened the curtains slightly, gazing at the growing crowd right outside of the building you were in. It was the day. Your art exhibition, for which you had prepared your whole life. Pursuing the career you wanted was harder than you imagined, your parents not being too supportive of your choice, reasoning their pure disappointment with “The job of an artists does NOT get paid well, and you will no be able to survive for long, you should get a degree in medicine, instead, like your cousin”. 

Screw that, you thought, before taking the call from the small studio apartment’s owner. Soon you found yourself moving out of your parents’ house and settling in the small studio, you now, called home. Of course, it wasn’t easy at first, but you made a living by initially working at a local bookstore, painting and selling pictures. The money was enough to feed you and your fellow feline, Louie. Living alone, you missed company, which led you to adopting a ginger cat, who was just the perfect companion for you. 


“Oh come on, Bucky, you’ve been a couch potato for already three weeks, it’s time to see some new people, hang around, get drunk, you know, what we used to back then” the blond man elbowed the brunette next to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Rogers, exactly, back then, not NOW, leave me alon-“ he got cut off by someone clearing their throat, glancing at the girl in front of him, he looked at Steve whose smile was already beyond his ears. 

“Linda, dear” Steve chirped like a lovesick teenager, throwing his muscular arms around the girl, giving her a sweet kiss on the lips, to which Bucky glared, his nose scrunching in annoyance. “This grump here is my friend, James, just call him Bucky.” The girl laughed, putting her hand out for a handshake. 

“I’m Linda, Bucky” the girl smiled, to which Bucky just hummed and shook her hand for less than a second. 

“Well, we’re getting late, let’s hurry” Steve interrupted the awkward silence, taking his girlfriend, holding her hand, he shoved Bucky to his other side, as not to let him run away. 

“Would be better to be late” Bucky replied under his breath, putting his hands into his black jeans’ pockets. 

It took less than 10 minutes for them to arrive at the hall, for which Steve had got tickets. 


——————————————————————————

“This is a picture from Montenegro” you answered the elderly woman who was standing next to one of the many canvases. 

So far so good, the visitors were mainly either artists like yourself, or elderly people like the woman before you. 

“Drinks anyone?” Thomas announced stepping away from the small table, revealing the pomegranate lemonade, which you had made as a treat for your guests. 

Bucky had parted ways from the couple almost at the exact moment they had set their foot in the studio. Wandering around, he had his gloved metal hand in his pocket, the other one holding the blue glass full of the lemonade. Roaming around a bit more, he was about to start searching for Steve to announce that he was finally leaving, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Am I getting old, am I delusional or is that…?” He squinted, his feet moving themselves, leading him closer to a certain painted canvas. The blue eyes, stared back at him calmly. “What the hell is my face doing here?” He turned around glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. 



He spotted a man helping some others, he raised his index for finger as a sign for him to come over. 

“Thomas” Bucky read from the name tag on the boy’s collar, and cleared his throat 

“Yes, Sir? How may I help you?-“ he stopped talking as Bucky moved a little making Thomas’s eyes grow wide like plates “..Oh” came the answer with slight shakiness. 

“Looks very much like you.. Sir” Thomas joked, trying to ease the tension, which was in complete vain as Bucky’s staring was blowing holes in Thomas’s head. 

You were walking around, smiling and thanking the guests who complimented the art, when you spotted Thomas opening and closing his mouth like a fish, looking quite uncomfortable and in need of help. You fastened your pace to Thomas. 

“Hey are you alright?” you then spotted the man in front of Thomas, making your heart jump into your throat and down to your knees. “G-good day” you blinked at the pure muscle of a man standing next to what looked like a mirror copy of his face, just not real and 2D. 

“What is my face doing here?” Bucky spoke up, in a harsh voice and immediately realised the angry tone of his voice, his gloved hand already rubbing his neck in nervousness “I’m sorry, it’s just-“ he was about to explain himself when you nervously laughed.

“This is one of the pictures I have drown about a month ago, I saw this man” you pointed at the man in the picture “in my, um, in my dream” you finished off your fingers nervously fidgeting, your toes curling in your shoes, as you nervously went up and down on your feet. “I’m sorry, I think-“

“Your dream?” Bucky asked surprised as he glanced at the picture then at you, neither of you noticing Thomas slipping away awkwardly. 

“I don’t always remember my dreams or have any dreams in general, so when I saw this man, I guess, you, in my dream, the image was stuck in my mind so here it is” you chuckled once more, motioning the picture. “They say that you dream only of the people you’ve met in real life” you continued. 

“I’m just stunned to see myself here” he laughed pursing his lips afterwards. 

“Hey man! I’ve been searching for- Oh?” another male voice startled you, your head turning to the blond coming from your right, arm in arm with a shorter girl. 

“Is that..you?” the girl pointed at the picture and then looked at you “Oh wait! You’re the painter right? You’re Y/N” she exclaimed with a smile.

“Miss Y/N, you made him look much younger than he already is” the blond man laughed, nudging Bucky who rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue. 


“Oh God” you replied with a laugh, covering your face that was heating up with embarrassment. 

“Shut it, Steve” Bucky grunted stepping in front of his picture. “Never told you, but Miss Y/N and I had met in a park where she asked me to model for her, to which I agreed” he lied, looking at you with a small smile. 

“Oh yeah, it was autumn, right?” You continued, thanking gods that Bucky didn’t tell the real backstory of the painting. Bucky just nodded. 

“Well well, your paintings are amazing, Miss” the blond, Steve, replied “But unfortunately, Linda and I have some plans, so we are abandoning you, Bucky” Steve lied, kissing the girl on the cheek and turned to Bucky for a quick side hug “Don’t come home without her number and a date” he secretly muttered.

Bucky rolled his eyes once more, slightly pushing his friend away “Yeah yeah, see you.“ him and you waved at the leaving couple and turned to each other. 

“You owe me something, Miss Y/N” he mused with a playful teasing smirk. “A date perhaps? Besides, I’m sure you need new paintings paintings for your upcoming exhibitions.”

“That’s true, but you’d have to wait for a little, we still have some time till we finish the event” you replied cheekily, glancing at Bucky’s hand that was placed on the wall, as he leaned onto it. “Plus, I see a very interesting something, right there, which would be just perfect for my art” you motioned at the metal peeking through the gap of his gloves and leather jacket. 

“Indeed, you have so much more to see, sweetheart.”


——————————————————————————

You waved at Thomas and stepped out of the hall, after your guests had left, Bucky’s metal hand, at the small of your back, leading you out of the crowd. The sun was already setting, the city was slowly preparing to sleep, yet your day had just begun, as you and Bucky walked next to each other, you glanced at him, his arm occasionally brushing against yours. Just then your eyes widened, and you gasped and stopped in your tracks “Aren’t you the guy who caught my cat from running away in this same park?”

Okay so, back from a long break with this.

Hope you like it. Tell me what you think :]

PS. This is inspired by a post I saw on TikTok. Will link the video down below.

https://www.tiktok.com/@hotdognijaxon03/video/7108692230432460058?_t=8UCIy2Z7fF4&_r=1

tags: @veroriddle @french-vanilla-in-the-clouds

[sugartwst]

🎧Twisted Wonderland Playlist🎶

This is just a list of songs that make me think of each character. Feel free to leave suggestions!

Riddle

Make the Grade - Jack Conte (YouTube)

Hurts Me Too - Faye Webster (YouTube)

Reading in Bed - Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton (YouTube)

Trey

The Bug Collector - Haley Heynderickx  (YouTube)

Fine, Great - Modern Baseball  (YouTube)

Cater

It’s Only Sex [E] - Car Seat Headrest  (YouTube) (Tbh I don’t have a great explanation for this one, I just think it fits)

Art School Wannabe - Sorority Noise  (YouTube)

Chaotic Good - Hey Steve  (YouTube)

Ace

Better Than Me - The Brobecks (YouTube)

Loser. - McCafferty (YouTube)

Deuce

Back in School - Mother Mother (YouTube)

Wisdom - Mother Mother (YouTube) (🥺he’s trying!)

Leona

Little Lion Man - Munford and Sons (YouTube)

Mrs. Cold - Kings of Convenience (YouTube) (This one I see him as ‘Mrs. Cold’ tbh)

Queen of Nothing - The Crane Wives (YouTube) (I mean just change one word and it fits to a tee)

Ruggie

Achey Bones - The Happy Fits (YouTube)

Avocado - The Obsessives (YouTube)

Right Side of the Road - The Lonely Wild (YouTube)

Jack

Could Have Been Me - The Struts  (YouTube)

Azul

Pearl Diver - Mitski (YouTube)

Make the Grade - Jack Conte (YouTube)

Creep - Radiohead (YouTube)

Average - Sushi Soucy (YouTube)

Floyd

i don’t want that many friends in the first place [E] - quinn (YouTube)

Wreaking Ball - Mother Mother (YouTube)

Jade

Child Psychology [E] - Black Box Recorder (YouTube) (Idk he gives the vibe of “kys or get over it”)

Kalim

Lovin is Easy - Carsie Blanton (YouTube)

I Do Adore You - Mindy Glendhill (YouTube)

Stay Soft - Mitski  (YouTube)

Jamil

Cop Car [E] - Mitski  (YouTube) (it’s the vibes okay.)

Drunk Walk Home - Mitski (YouTube) (Okay but this would be him walking home drunk...)

Metaphor - The Crane Wives (YouTube)

Vil

Born in a Flash - Mother Mother (YouTube) (Gotta have the child star angst)

Liquid Smooth - Mitski (YouTube)

Brand New City - Mitski (YouTube)

Paris - Caro Emerald (YouTube)

Rook

All the Row Boats - Regina Spektor (YouTube) (I think he’d get this one on a very personal level.)

The Masochism Tango [E] - Tom Lehrer (YouTube) (You cannot tell me he does feel this in his soul...)

Stalker’s Tango - Autoheart (YouTube)

Epel

Yer Killin’ Me [E] - Remo Drive (YouTube)

Escape - Destroy Boys (YouTube)

Idia

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar (YouTube)

i hate it here [E] - quinn (YouTube)

We’re Shameless [E] - Ken Ashcorp (Youtube) (I mean... he’s a weeb and a gamer... I had to.)

Ortho

Hello, World - Louie Zong (YouTube)

Only Human - Steam Powered Giraffe (YouTube)

Malleus

Indigo Night - Tamino (YouTube)

Happy Life - Roland Faunte (YouTube) (Tell me he is not PINING)

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me - Low (YouTube) (🥺)

Mephesto’s Waltz -Ignant Benches (YouTube) (Don’t ask me, I don’t know.)

Lilia

Spiral of Ants - Lemon Demon (YouTube)

The Guardian (Ellie’s Song) - Shawn James (YouTube)

Lets Face It I’m Cute - 11 Acorn Lane (YouTube)

Silver

No Face - Haley Heynderickx (YouTube) (I think it fits the idea of being between two worlds - I also considered Mother by the same artist for him.)

Perfect on the Surface - Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton (YouTube)

The Wisps Sing - Winter Aid (YouTube)

Sebek

Perfect on the Surface - Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton (YouTube)

Natural - Imagine Dragons (YouTube) (Would 100% work out/train to this)

Bonus

Che’nya

Wraith Painted to the Mist and Other Games - of Montreal (YouTube) 

[cognitosclowns]

*SQUEAKS LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY* SONGS???? whenever i go full feral i must start associating my favorite songs with characters <333 okay so i cant decide if still feel. by half alive is more of an alpha beta song or an andre song but its one of them!!! and i am so so into oldies rock so i have so many of those for brett just. mr blue sky by E.L.O., time in a bottle by jim croce, what i like about you by the romantics (imagine singing this with him ajdhsfj <33), sweet dreams by the eurythmics!!!!!! so many for my boy!!!!! radioactive by marina is either andre or myc lmao. wake up in the sky by gucci mane (i think) is the andre and myc party song <3 🎵i drink till im drunk, smoke till im high!🎵 (i just feel like theyd like singing it when theyre lit). ALSO ALSO one more <33 i feel like hello world by louie zong (the cute little robot song!) would give alpha beta very complicated feelings <///3. sorry for rambling i just love songs <33333

HHHHHHH MISTER BLUE SKY FOR BRETT IS GIVING ME SUCH FEELINGS <33 FUCK HE ABSOLUTELY LISTENS TO THAT ON THE WAY TO WORK????

[breckstonevailskier]

@shrinkthisviolet Furthermore, ever notice that Sam seems to get more blame for not reporting the accident than Yasmine does for actually causing it, or Johnny for his part in being why the girls drove off? And hardly anyone says anything about Moon.

And of course, this is before the fact that Amanda's choice of punishment is inconsistent with her earlier characterization. She let Sam get away with sneaking friends over for a pool party and borrowing her dad's swim trunks, and even gets mad at Daniel for getting mad at Sam. Yet when she finds out her daughter was involved in a car accident in a car she doesn’t even own or had any control over because she was just a passenger, Amanda suddenly acts like a stereotypical 90s-00s parent and cuts her kid off from the outside world.

Which is so unfair to Sam because, well, it's not her fault that the car Yasmine hit happened to be driven by the guy who used to torment Sam's dad in high school. Plus the only reason Amanda found out is because Louie decided to vandalize Johnny's car, Johnny came over to the LaRussos' house to confront Daniel about this (because Louie claimed to be acting in Daniel's name), and then Johnny decided to bring it up in trying to prove Daniel is a bad father (something Johnny is in no position to be judging Daniel on considering his neglect of Robby). And then Amanda then decided to take Johnny at his word rather than first investigate to get Sam's side of the story before passing judgement on what happened. (And of course, y'know, telling Johnny off for scaring her daughter rather than browbeating Daniel into giving Johnny a new car.)

And, well, it's also a punishment that only happens for the purpose of the plot. The plot needed Sam to be unable to alleviate some of Miguel’s stress and doubt about what was going on, so that he'd get drunk and behave the way he did when Sam did turn up at the beach party with Robby. This is made more apparent by the fact that Amanda doesn't even punish Sam for breaking her grounding by going to said party later.

I'm trying to imagine a scenario where Amanda did the sensible thing, and allowed Sam to contact Miguel. And here's what I think would happen:

Amanda grounds Sam, but in a, "Text/call anyone who might be expecting you to let them know you can't make it, and then give me your phone" way. Then she gets Sam's side of the story, un-grounds her because the whole thing was Yasmine's fault (the initial accident) and Johnny's fault (for scaring them into driving away), and lets her go to the party to hang with Miguel. Meanwhile, on Johnny and Daniel's return from their day out, Amanda gives Johnny the riot act for scaring Sam.

As a result of Amanda letting Sam contact Miguel, there's no altercation at the beach party, and Sam is able to alleviate Miguel's concerns enough that he doesn't fight dirty (or at least, not as dirty as in canon) in the tournament. After he wins the tournament, Sam decides to bite the bullet and introduces Miguel to her parents. Although Daniel is not thrilled by the fact that Sam is dating a Cobra Kai student and the one who just brutalized Robby in the finals, he begrudgingly agrees to Amanda's suggestion that he get to know Miguel.

Then the first half of season 2 is about Sam and Miguel trying to make their relationship work amidst the dojo feud (a feud that's been tempered a bit on Daniel's end because he's been convinced to give Miguel a second chance much like with Robby). This is admittedly very difficult given that Robby's living with the LaRussos and still salty with Miguel over Miguel having "taken" his dad, his championship, and the girl that Robby's got a crush on, and now he thinks Miguel is trying to "take" Robby's relationship with Daniel from him too. While Sam's got her feud with Tory, along with Tory trying to move in on Miguel and "steal" him from Sam. The breaking point is when Miyagi-Do gets trashed by Hawk, resulting in Sam and Miguel breaking up for an episode or two, but reconciling by the time of Moon's party. And the school brawl happens because Tory comes up with some other slight to brutalize Sam over.

How do people not get that Amanda's choice of punishment for Sam over the hit and run was too excessive? And that being a passenger in a hit and run where the other driver was partly at fault is hardly worthy of Amanda putting Sam on total lockdown. I don't get it. 🙄

Exactly! Sam wasn’t even driving! She even tried to get Yasmine to do the right thing, but Yasmine didn’t listen. Sure, maybe she’d deserve a stern talking-to at most, but she didn’t do anything!

(Really, if Amanda was gonna ground her, it should’ve been over the pool party. That I’d understand.)

Also, one of the users defending Johnny’s response here is absolutely wild to me. Sure, he was drunk and didn’t have total (if any) control over his actions, but even so, the girls being scared and fleeing the scene at the sight of an angry man banging on their car is not wrong of them!! Wtf!! That’s just basic safety!! And it’s never a justified response!!

The mistake they made wasn’t running away. It was the fact that they didn’t contact him (even via their parents) to take responsibility for the accident. And really, that was Yasmine’s responsibility as the driver, not Sam’s or Moon’s.

[lettheladylead]

Title: A Night Out Ship: Baloo/Rebecca Summary:  Rebecca decides to have a night out and goes with Baloo to hang at Louie's Place. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30942905

It wasn’t often that she humored Baloo by coming along with him to Louie’s (or that he humored her by not complaining too much when she asked). But Kit had been begging to babysit more to earn money for some new toy he wanted and Rebecca had to admit...she could use a night off. Molly was an angel, but she’d been very needy the past few days.

And it wasn’t like she had any other friends to spend time with.

So off to Louie’s they went, though Baloo was side eyeing her the entire flight there, clearly suspicious of her motivations. They’d been out before and it wasn’t a problem! She’d been to Louie’s before, no issues about it. He had no reason to think that she was being sneaky.

“So, Becks…”

“What?”

Baloo tapped his fingers against the wheel. “...you’re not gonna try to get Louie in trouble again, are ya? He’s real sorry ‘bout what happened last time!”

Rebecca scrunched her brow at her partner’s words before the memory of her last visit to Louie’s hit her: one of his regulars had groped her and Louie didn’t kick him out until she threatened to call the police. She’d completely forgotten about it thanks to how busy she’d been with work and Molly starting school soon.

“It’s fine, Baloo,” she finally replied, rolling her eyes at his loud sigh of relief. “Just so long as it doesn’t happen again.”

“Oh, no worries there!” Baloo smiled at her as the Sea Duck started down towards the water. “I personally told Ralphie to never darken Louie’s door again!”

Rebecca huffed and turned to look at the pilot next to her, thinking he was making fun of her. She stared at his face to see a surprisingly serious expression - and not his standard Gotta Land This Plane Safely look. She took another moment of staring at his profile before turning away with a slight blush on her cheeks. She’d had a long week, maybe a night of drinking too much would be exactly the break she needed.

-

And they were making fun of her.

They were always making fun of her, but this time she tried to play along and then it just made it worse and now she was stuck with these two boys who bounced off one another like a comedy routine while she nursed a drink that she didn’t really know what it was but it tasted good and it was her third one and she was feeling quite a lot more relaxed than she normally would have when being mocked by two absolute morons.

“Ahhh, Becky, Becky, Becky,” Louie cooed at her. “You really should drink some water. Baloo tells me you’re quite the lightweight!”

“No, no, you got it all wrong!” Baloo said with a smirk, taking a big gulp from his beer. “I didn’t say she’s a lightweight, I said she fights me about my weight!”

They laughed together - a lot harder than Rebecca thought was necessary for such a bad joke - and she responded by taking a bigger swig of her drink than she probably should’ve. She hadn’t stood up since arriving and she knew once she did, all the alcohol would hit her at once. It was nice to know she could trust Baloo to get her home safe, at least. If nothing else, he was a good guy.

“Don’t you two have any material that isn’t at my expense?” she said, leaning on one arm. “Like if there was a different girl here, how would you entertain her?”

Louie and Baloo locked eyes for a quick moment before turning back to her. “If there was a different girl here, then we’d be having a very different -”

Baloo cut off his friend with a hand over his mouth and glared. Louie shrugged and laughed as the bear pulled his hand away. “What he’s trying to say, Becks, is that you’re a classy lady. Louie’s Place doesn’t get a lot of classy ladies, so most of our jokes aren’t exactly your style.”

“Oh? Since when do you care about my style?” Rebecca laughed, snorting once and immediately trying to hide it by taking another sip of her drink. “Considering the kinds of things you say to me on a daily basis, I can’t imagine you’re holding back.”

“Izzat true, Baloo?” Louie elbowed him and faked a shocked look on his face. “Are you not treating your lady here with respect?”

Baloo glared. “Not my lady,” he started as a quiet mumble. “...and yes, Becky, I do hold back a lot out of respect for you!”

She took another sip, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. “Is that why you told me my new pants make my ass look fat?”

Louie’s burst out into laughter as Baloo blushed, glaring at his friend and then glaring down at Rebecca. “N-no, I mean...you asked for my honest opinion! I’m a spontaneous guy! I say things without thinking sometimes!”

“Sometimes, sure, alright.” Rebecca smirked, feeling proud that she’d produced the biggest laugh of the night so far. “I don’t think spontaneity is an excuse for pissing me off every other day.”

Baloo frowned at that, looking over to Louie for some help, but the monkey just shrugged and grabbed his own drink to focus on that for a minute. Baloo huffed before taking another long gulp of his beer and decided to go on the offensive. “That’s just ‘cause you don’t know anything about being spontaneous! Sometimes you piss people off, that's just how it goes!”

She sent him both a pout and a glare before opening her mouth again. “Says you! I’m not just some stuffy, boring office woman! I can surprise people!”

Baloo let out a harsh laugh, though this time Louie didn’t join in, opting to stare awkwardly between the two bears instead. “Come on, Becks, no point in pretending to be something you’re not!”

Rebecca dramatically slammed down her glass and glared at him again. Then she glared down at the bar and huffed before gripping the edge of the table and standing up. She climbed up onto the bar and tossed her hands in the air. “See? You didn’t expect this, did you?”

A moment later and the rush of drunkenness flooded to her head and Rebecca quickly sat down, her legs swinging off the edge of the bar. Baloo and Louie locked eyes again and Louie moved towards the sink to grab her some water.

Baloo slid closer to her - his elbow lightly grazing the edge of her thigh. “Yeah, so, standing on a bar isn’t as crazy as you seem to think it is. If you ever do something really unexpected, I’ll let ya know.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Like what?”

“I dunno!” Baloo shrugged, looking over at Louie to see the monkey struggling to find a clean glass. “You gotta take people by surprise! Make ‘em speechless. I’ve had too many beers to come up with somethin’ now, but trust me, you'll have to try much harder to catch me off-guard.”

Rebecca let out a hmph! as she thought about his words. They wandered through her muddled mind and her eyes widened as the perfect way to prove her spontaneity came to her. Plus - it was guaranteed to make Baloo speechless.

She looked over at him and before he could even ask what she was doing, Rebecca grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to her while she leaned forward. Her lips crashed against his and she squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation of him pushing her away and calling her crazy.

For a brief moment, her fear wasn’t wrong. Initially, his eyes grew as big as dinner plates and the red on his cheeks was not just because of the alcohol. He was certainly tempted to push her off, but mostly because she was drunk and they’d never done anything like that before. Well, either she was hiding some intense feelings for him or she really wanted to prove him wrong...or both. Whichever her reasons, he felt his heart do backflips as the realization of what was happening set it.

At least ten seconds passed with neither of them moving, and then all at once, they came together. Baloo set his beer down and moved one hand to her waist while the other crawled around her back, cradling her closer to him as he leaned in to deepen the kiss.

Rebecca kept her hands wrapped up in his shirt collar, but tightened her grip as she tilted her head and slightly opened her mouth against his in a clear attempt to bring their kiss to the next level. She wanted to be shocked by his reciprocity, but she was really just focusing on the feeling of his hands wrapped around her. She’d kissed him before, as a joke, but only light pecks and he’d never kissed back. This was something very new.

Baloo followed her lead and pulled her even closer to him - her knee bumped against his chest - as the hand that was on her back moved up to the back of her head. He tilted his head, too, and pushed a little more towards her - relishing the tiny little, satisfied-sounding noise that came from her throat. He wouldn’t dare call it a moan, but it was definitely something. Never in a million years had he imagined this actually, really happening. He’d barely imagined it in his head! But…

“Whoa!”

The two bears broke apart at the sudden sound of Louie’s voice. Never thinking of manners or social graces, he gave them a big confused smile. “Should I give you two the room?”

Baloo and Rebecca were breathing a little heavily and staring into each other’s eyes as he spoke. Baloo’s hands slowly moved down to cradle her hips while her grip on his shirt loosened to the point where he could easily pull away. Instead they stared for another few seconds before Rebecca finally spoke.

“I…” she said quietly. “I...need to use the ladies’ room!”

The pilot didn’t react as she quickly jumped away from him and hobbled towards the bathroom, occasionally losing her balance and grabbing bar stools or tables to get upright again. Baloo stayed exactly as he was before, only turning his head slightly to watch her walk away.

Louie placed the glass of water in front of him. “My man...what was that?”

Baloo didn’t bother trying to hide the dark blush on his face. “I, uh...I’m...I’m not sure.”

“Well,” Louie leaned onto the counter. “It definitely wasn’t nothing!”

“Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious,” Baloo grumbled at his friend. “She was just tryin’ to prove that she can be spontaneous. I guess.”

“Uh huh. That looked like a lot more than her tryin' to prove somethin’, buddy.”

Baloo copied Louie and leaned onto the counter, partially covering his mouth with his hand. He could still feel her lips on his and it made him feel a lot of funny feelings. “...yeah, I know.”

Louie raised an eyebrow. “Wanna tell me what’s goin’ through that thick head of yours?”

Baloo huffed and opened his mouth to speak when he was interrupted by a voice that made him blush once again.

“I’d like to go home now.”

She was already turned around and walking towards the door before Baloo and Louie could see the look on her face. But the way she was cradling her purse seemed like she wasn’t in the best mood anymore. No doubt she was embarrassed, but Baloo was stuck wondering exactly what kind of embarrassed and how awkward this would be in the morning and if there was anything he could do to fix it.

And, well. If he wanted to fix it...or if he wanted to see where it could go. He wasn’t really sure about anything at that particular moment. He also wasn’t sure he should fly the Sea Duck after the amount of beer he’d had, but it wouldn’t be his first time flying with a buzz. Probably not the last, either.

He looked back at Louie and shrugged. “Maybe next time.”

Louie responded with a short laugh. “Baloo, if anything happens between you two, you’d better give me more than a maybe!”

Baloo rolled his eyes and chuckled in embarrassment before stomping off after his partner. He didn’t know what to expect for the ride home, but he was certain it was going to be the most awkward ride of his life.

Fortunately, when he climbed up into his plane, he found Rebecca curled up in the passenger seat, snoring loudly. He wondered for a moment if she was faking, but decided it didn’t really matter. Neither of them were ready to have a conversation about what happened and that wasn’t changing anytime soon.

[imakeficrequestsandthendisappear]

A list of the best and worst Disney kids

my roommate and i were talking about this and i hyperfixated. I included child characters which had speaking rolls and were at least side characters. If I left one out I don’t care. Also i didn’t include teenagers/princesses/love interests. Just the kids

It’s all subjective but i am right. 

Pinocchio: disgusting puppet homunculi. I hate his weird knees. But I do like that he escapes a whale, it shows a will to live. I both respect and fear him. 4/10 

Dumbo: Sweet and beautiful. Tragic backstory. Defies physics. Got Drunk. Love him with all my heart. But that CGI remake was gross so i subtracted 2 points. 8/10

Bambi: Beautiful and bland. would be a good instagram model. 5/10

Alice: embodies the “I just came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling very attacked right now” meme. enjoyable protagonist. 8/10

Peter Pan: kidnaps children. But seems fun. kind of a fuckboi. 6/10

Wendy: The mom friend that stands up for herself. deserved better. when she walks off that plank, fuckin iconic. 9/10

101+ dalmation puppies: Are puppies. but i can’t remember a single one of them. also can just multiply? themselves? 3/10 for magic

Arthur: complained to much. I liked him better as a squirrel.  1/10

Mogli: had fun on road trip with his 2 dads. easily sidetracked and hypnotized. 6/10 for jungle ADHD

Aristocats Kittens: Annoying but passable. A+ mom and stepdad parents. Overall 3/10

The little girl from The Rescuers: Apparently her name is penny. I hate her stupid voice. If there wasn’t boobs in this movie we would have all forgotten it. 1/10

The little boy from The Rescuers 2: Apparently his name is cody. He’s dumb but wonderful. a Himbo in training. 7/10 for australian  

Oliver: The worst cat. Also apparently there is a human child in this too. Both have empty, soulless eyes.  3/10

Huey Dewey and Louie: Imagine donald duck but worse and 3. Disney will pay for their crimes. -3/10

The scary kids from Nightmare before Christmas: I hate them. -5/10

Baby Simba: Confidence is key. “Dad... we gotta go home” makes me cry everytime. Adopted by gay dads. 7/10 for lion hamlet

Max: I know he’s a teenager but i want everyone to know how wonderful he is. Such a dork, I love him. 8/10 after today is a bop

Andy: honestly horrifying in Toy Story 1. could not care less about him. 10/10 glow up but 2/10 character.

Sid: The worst thing ever shown in theaters. Millions went blind. I would kill him in cold blood. -11/10

James: claymation is gross.  2/10 for being british tho 

Baby Tarzan: A+ mom. Daddy issues. Probably indestructible? 6/10

The kids from Emperor��s New Groove: Annoying but useful. Double dutch legends. John Goodman is their dad. 4/10

Boo: Perfect. I’ve never loved a child more. Deserved an Oscar. her dad is also John Goodman. 10/10

Lilo: In all seriousness the best depiction of a young child (especially a girl) in media. Emotional depth and intuitive, but also unique and authentic to her age and maturity, 11/10

Nemo: Kinda a dumb, but tries his best. gains independence but almost dies. Probably shouldn’t have touched that boat. 7/10

Darla: Sid but girl. actual serial killer? -11/10

Incredible’s kids: all unique and well written. I’ve lumped them together for convenience. 8/10 across the board

Chicken Little: Fuck this movie. 0/10

Lewis and Wilbur: Honestly meet the robinsons is underrated and i just want to talk about it some more. 10/10 for two good boys

Miley Cyrus in Bolt: ....Was her name also penny? Chose her dog over career. I can respect that. 3/10 for being unmemorable 

Russell: A sweet good boy doing his best. 9/10

Bonnie: I hate that fork thing. somehow worse than Andy. 1/10

Venellope: I didn;t see wreck it ralph and probably will not. I’ve been told she’s good but i have my doubts. 5/10 for mystery 

Riley: doesn’t make any of her own decisions. Really needs to see a doctor? honestly don’t know anything about her but hokey. Strong bisexual energy. 5/10

The kid from the Good Dinosaur: who cares? 0/10

Miguel: The Best Boy (TM). Follows his dreams, reunites his family, hANGS OUT WITH HIS GREAT GRANDMA BECAUSE HE LOVES HER. music is a metaphor for gay 11/10

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter seventeen: joe barleycorn

“Sam?” Marla's voice sounded a thousand miles away, and yet she could hear her through the blackness that surrounded her. “Sam?”

She rolled her head about the soft surface and she groaned in her throat. The pounding feeling in her head... the dry parched feeling upon her tongue... as dried out as the desert in the height of summer time. She parted her lips a bit to alleviate the awful feeling in her mouth.

Zelda's voice sailed through the darkness. She could hardly open her eyes for a look over at her: through her blurred vision, she made out the silhouette of Zelda's black hair and her pale skin.

“Hey, Sam—” she called out to her, and her voice echoed through the nothing as if she stood down a tunnel. “Sam?”

She breathed out a sigh and then she blinked her eyes several times. Her vision returned and she was met with Marla's cherry red hair and Zelda's eyes, wide with concern.

“There she is,” Marla greeted her in a soft voice. Sam glanced about her to find that she reclined back in the bed she and Zelda slept in the night before. They had propped her upright against the headboard and with a couple of pillows behind her back. Her head spun and pounded, and her mouth felt dry and cracked, and her stomach turned if she even so much as moved her pinky finger.

“You alright?” Zelda asked her as she rested her wrist upon Sam's forehead.

“Oh my god,” she muttered. “What happened?”

“You passed out,” Marla replied. “You and Joey both.”

Sam peered about the room. Just the three of them: at some point, she had taken off her top and she lay there with nothing more than her bra and her panties on. “Wait a minute, what time is it?”

“Almost four o'clock,” said Zelda.

“I was out for a full day,” she stated in a flat tone.

“Nah, just the rest of the morning and then the afternoon,” Zelda corrected her as she leaned back a bit. “The bartender told us what had happened and he helped us get you guys back up here. According to him, you guys got hammered—especially him.”

“Where is Joey?” Sam rubbed her eyes: the dry parched feeling in her mouth coincided with an onerous taste there at the back. She could only assume that she threw up at some point.

“He's back in Anthrax's room. Scott and Charlie didn't look too happy with him, either.”

“I'm not too happy with him myself,” Sam confessed. “He promised me he wouldn't drink. Or that he would only limit it to one glass of wine.” She ran her tongue over her lips. “Did I puke at all?”

“I don't think you did,” Marla said, “because we would smell it. He definitely did, though.”

“Yeah, we came back up here and we could hear him down the hall here,” Zelda added. Sam rubbed her forehead with two fingers.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, hangovers are no fun,” Marla stated. “I always get a bad headache myself. Cup of coffee always helps, though.”

“That's like—the last thing I want right now.”

“But it'll help. That plus some aspirin and then a glass of water. It'll all help out.” Marla then gave her hair a slight toss back, and she turned to Zelda. “Wanna hang out here for a bit with her? Bel called a little bit ago and she should be here like any minute now.”

“Oh, yeah,” Zelda assured her. “Maybe we'll go and talk to Joey in a few moments, too.”

“Yeah, I'd like to talk to him,” Sam grumbled as she shifted her weight in the bed. “God, never again. Never doing that again. That was awful.”

“I'll be right back,” Marla vowed, and she climbed off the bed, and she headed out to the hallway. Zelda then turned back to Sam.

“D'you ever get drunk when Louie was in the picture?” Sam leaned forward and rested her hands in her lap. Her head still spun but sitting away from the headboard helped the feeling within her.

“Nah—he was just underage when we met so there was no way we could do that. Once I was twenty one, we did have a time of drinking, though.”

“Punk chicks don't party,” Sam pointed out.

“Yeah, that's not really our thing, to be honest. But when we do party, it's for another reason, though.” Zelda flashed her a wink. “So—how're you feeling? How's your head?”

“I'm dizzy and my stomach feels sick, too—but I really wanna talk to Joey, though.”

“Don't blame ya. Here, I'll help you...”

Zelda slid to the side, and Sam sighed through her nose so as to settle her stomach a bit more. She peeled back the bedsheet and she moved her legs out from over the top of the bed. Careful not to make her head spin any more, she inched towards the edge of the bed. She let out a long low whistle and then she stood to her feet.

At some point, she had taken off her pants and lay them across the top of the chair below the window. There was nothing else she could think of before then: her memory had gone all black from the feeling. She turned to Zelda, who kept her eye on her the whole time.

“Do you need any help?” she suggested.

“I don't think so. But do you remember what we really did, though?”

“I don't. I just saw you and Joey basically on the floor of the bar there—you were out like a light and he could hardly put two words together. Like I said, the bartender told us you both were utterly smashed out of your minds.”

Sam rubbed her temple with her fingers yet again. Careful not to upset her stomach any more, she reached for her jeans: her head still spun about, but she managed to put one leg into her jeans, followed by the other. She buttoned her jeans and they were a slightly snug under her belly button; then she turned towards Zelda with another long low whistle.

“Where's my top?”

“No clue,” she confessed with a shake of her head. “That's the other thing: when we found you, you had taken off your top. So you were layin' there on the floor in just your jeans and your bra.”

She then climbed to her feet and she gestured for Sam to follow her out to the hallway: she gingerly moved forth and her head spun a little bit with each step, but she managed to walk towards Zelda. Sam licked her lips again and her throat felt even drier than before.

“God,” she murmured.

“What's the matter?” Zelda asked her.

“Dying of thirst.”

“I'm sure Marla'll be back soon enough with a thing of water for ya—for the moment, let's go and talk to Joey if we can.”

Zelda left the door open a bit, but only for the time being. Total silence in that hallway: Testament had already left from their hotel room across the hall. Sam thought about Alex and the thoughts she had had earlier in that art shop. She couldn't believe she actually thought about killing him with a knife, but she couldn't help it: all she wanted was for him to loosen up and not be so hard and cold about things.

However, painting on that large canvas woke up something within her.

Zelda led her to Anthrax's room next door, where the door itself had hung wide open for them. The whole room smelled of alcohol and something foul, but there was no one else in there. Joey lay on his back on the floor: his black curls were sprawled about the floor all around his head like the tentacles of an octopus. He had stripped off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants: his arms and legs lay spread out from his body like a da Vinci diagram. Sam and Zelda gathered around his head: his eyes fluttered open and he gazed up at the two of them.

“Hey, Joe Barleycorn,” Zelda greeted him, and then she looked up to Sam. “Remember that—that'll be a new song title.”

But Sam herself rubbed her temples yet again. Joey gaped at them with bloodshot eyes and his dark lips parted: even standing over him, Sam could see that his lips were dry and parched themselves.

“Ohhhh, shit, what have I done,” he sputtered.

“You got me drunk,” Sam scoffed, “that's what you did.”

“Well—if it's any sort of fairness to you, Sam—” He stifled a little belch. “—I got drunk, too.”

“Joey...” she started, but then she hesitated with her hand still rested upon her temple. “Fuck—you told me you wouldn't drink.”

“Couldn't help it. I really honestly couldn't help it.”

“Zelda?” Marla's voice floated in from the hallway. Zelda herself raised a finger and she bowed out of the room, and then Sam returned to Joey there on the floor and she pressed her hands to her hips.

“I really couldn't help it,” he repeated.

“Never again,” she scolded him. “Never—again. This feeling is horrible for me—I can only imagine how you feel right now.”

“I barfed, I know that much.”

Sam reached down with one hand and he held on with both of his hands. His knees quivered and his body trembled, but he managed to climb up to his feet. He staggered to the edge of the bed next to them. He spread his legs a bit and he rubbed his forehead with one hand.

“You gotta tell your parents what happened,” he suggested, to which Sam gasped at that.

“What? Are you out of your mind? They'd string me up by my tits and then beat me like a pinata!”

“You gotta do it, though, Sam. You gotta tell 'em that—that you got drunk and—” He sniffled once, twice, four times. He shook his head about and his black curls brushed against his shoulders. He grimaced, and then he fixed his jeans, especially the snug part around his hips and in between his thighs.

“Uncomfortable?” she asked him.

“My dick itches,” he complained. “Probably from when we screwed around a few hours ago.”

Sam stopped.

“Back up—we had sex?”

Joey hesitated. “Wait. I don't think we did.” He hesitated again. “I hope we didn't. How do you feel between the legs?”

“Fine. Why?”

“'Cause if we screwed around, you'd probably be hurtin' there. At least, that's all I've been told about it before.” He sniffled again. “Anyways, you gotta tell your parents what happened. They have to know that you got drunk by accident. You gotta add that last bit, too. You can't really keep this sorta thing hidden from them.”

He set a hand on his stomach and gave himself a little massage.

“Jeez, I don't feel so good.”

“You're not gonna barf again, are you?” she asked him, concerned.

“Nah. Stomach just really hurts is all, 'cause I puked at some point. Hurts so it doesn't feel too hot.”

“D'you brush your teeth?”

“Don't think so,” he admitted as he rested that hand on his thigh. “I probably should, though.”

Joey shook his head about a bit so his curls tousled about a bit.

“Need help again?” she asked him.

“Nah—I'm higher up off of the ground now so I can probably do it on my own now.”

Indeed, he staggered onto his feet and, slowly, he walked towards the bathroom near the front door. Sam joined him lest he collapse at some point. He let out a low whistle again once he was in the bathroom and he switched on the light. He swallowed and then he opened the little leather sack next to the sink basin; Sam watched him brush his teeth for a whole minute and then he stopped for a second.

“What's wrong?” she asked him.

He squinted his eyes, and then he closed them. He then bowed forward over the sink, and he stood upright once again, still with his eyes closed.

“Joey?”

He sneezed right into the sink basin.

“Ah, that feels better,” he remarked and he proceeded to brush his teeth. He sniffled again; she brought her attention to a small plastic bag inside of that leather sack there. Something filled with what appeared to be white powder. It resembled to powdered sugar, but she wondered why he would have that with him, and where he kept his toothbrush no less.

“Is that what I think it is,” she wondered aloud as he rinsed his mouth.

“Maybe.”

“Don't lie to me, Joey. What is that.”

He set down the paper cup on the edge of the corner and then he looked over at her, with his eyes serious and stern, more serious than she had recalled before.

“Powdered sugar,” he quipped.

“Well, why would you have powdered sugar on hand?”

“Because it—tastes good in coffee.”

He sniffled again and he rubbed the tip of his nose.

“Why are you sniffling?”

“Allergies.”

Sam squinted her eyes at him.

“I dunno if you've ever—had allergies at any point here in New York, but—”

Sam gripped onto his shoulder and she pushed him towards the wall.

“Joey! Stop doing this to yourself! You don't need any of this!” She stopped right in her tracks when her head started pounding, hard, right at the temples. She then opened her eyes and she scowled at him. “Stop—doing this to yourself. Stop doing this to your body. Just—stop!”

“Not even a li'l pot?”

“No! No drugs—no alcohol. Nothing. I don't wanna see that shit near you ever again.”

“Pot's not a drug, though. It's a plant.”

“It can get you high, though,” she pointed out as her head hammered so hard that she could feel her eyes closing as a result.

“Sam, it's weed. It's not gonna hurt you. If anything, it'll help you loosen up and help you with inspiration.”

She fumed at him. He promised to not drink what felt to be a million times at this point, and she had had enough of it.

“Just—no more—of this—this—this bullshit,” she was so angry with him that she could hardly speak. “No more, or I'm leaving. I'm going back home and I'll just let you have at it yourself.”

Joey parted his lips at that but he never said anything. She stared hard and deep into his eyes, just like how Alex stared hard and deep into her.

“No—more.”

He then nodded his head at that.

“Alright. Finish brushing your teeth.”

“But I am gonna tell you this, though,” he started again, in a low voice once more, “pot isn't a drug. My uncle smokes it to help with pain.”

“Are you in pain, though?”

“It helps him relax, too. It can help us relax.”

“Are you tense?”

“Maybe. I ask you the same thing, too.”

“My head really hurts,” she said, “but Marla's coming with aspirin, though.”

There was a knock on the door right then.

“And that must be her right now.”

Sam squinted her eyes and rubbed her temples once again, and then she strode on to the ajar door, where Marla, Zelda, and Belinda congregated right outside there; the former had a cup of coffee in one hand and a bottle of aspirin in the other.

“Hey,” she greeted them with a hand clasped to the side of her head.

“Hey, you—” Belinda handed a bottle of water to her and then she stopped right in her tracks. “Where's your shirt?”

“No clue. Alright, c'mon—I'm dying of thirst here—”

Belinda handed the bottle to Sam and she was eager to drink it down in one fell swoop right there. Marla gave her the medicine bottle and she took a couple of pills for herself. She immediately felt better right there. A flush behind her, and then Joey emerged from the bathroom, complete with a toss of his black curls and a buttoning of his jeans.

“You ladies are art students—surprised neither of you don't do more pot, if I'm honest,” he admitted in a single breath.

“Louie and I smoked a bunch of pot when we were together, though,” Zelda spoke right then, and that brought a laugh out of Joey. “We did! We didn't do a lot of drinking, and we couldn't, either. But we did smoke weed every so often because it always made him extra affectionate.”

“Did it help him loosen up?” Joey asked her.

“Oh, yes. We would always smoke like a couple of days before our rent was due so he wouldn't freak the hell out about it.”

“I threw out that little baggie, by the way,” he whispered to Sam.

“Just now?”

“Yeah. I just—” He closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. “I just can't take it. I can't take the thought of you leaving us and sitting home by yourself while we're—out and about havin' fun without you. I want you with us. I want all you girls with us.” When the words left his lips, Sam could see Belinda and Zelda look at one another in response of that. “But, like I said—pot isn't a drug.”

He then gestured for them to follow him back to the bed closest to the bathroom. He took a seat there on the edge of the bed and Sam took her spot right next to him; Marla, Belinda, and Zelda sat across from them. Joey opened the drawer and he took out another little plastic bag from next to Gideon's Bible at the bottom there: little fuzzy green balls inside; there was a small off white roll of paper on the other side of the Bible.

The four of them watched him roll up a thick joint filled with some of those bit of weed.

“Alright, we got an open flame of sorts?” he asked them.

“Isn't there a hot plate in here?” Marla gestured to the other side of the room.

“Yeah, there is,” Joey replied, “I dunno if it'll light it up, though. Frankie's got a lighter, though. Of all people, Frankie has a lighter.”

“Where is it?” Sam asked him as she took another drink of water; Marla handed her the cup of coffee to better settle her stomach. The bottle of water alone was enough to help the dizzy feeling in her head, but not so much for the rest of her body.

“One of those drawers over there—right under the TV.”

Sam took a sip of the coffee, and then she reached past Joey and set her cup on the nightstand, and then she strode over to the dresser up against the wall. The first two drawers were both empty, but the third one had a few clothes in there: a pair of pants, and a couple of shirts. Sam picked up the pants from the bottom of the drawer, and she let them unfurl before her. She then delved through the pockets until she felt the little plastic green lighter in the right front pocket.

She doubled back and handed the lighter to Joey. He flicked it open with a few rolls of the igniter: a small flame opened up and he brought it up to the joint.

“Careful not to set off the fire alarm,” Marla warned him. He shook the lighter about so the flame vanished; he took a puff from the joint. He coughed from the smoke and the burning feeling upon his tongue, but he still took a breath of it. Plumes of white smoke billowed out from his mouth.

“Fuck—phew.” He lowered the joint and he panted from the feeling inside of his mouth. He then handed the joint to Sam as she took another sip of coffee.

“Just hold it to your mouth and light it up right there—and just inhale.”

“What I wanna know is how'd you even learn to smoke pot,” Belinda joked.

“I'm from upstate New York and I've been on tour before—I've found my way with it.” Joey flashed her a wink at that.

Sam held the still smoldering joint to her lips: it reeked of that foul odor, and it didn't help matters that it was hot from the lighter.

“Here, lemme help ya with the lighting—”

She breathed through her nose and Joey held the lighter up to the end of the joint. He rolled the igniter twice: the little yellow flame danced about before her.

“Okay, now inhale.”

He held it up to the end and she breathed in through her mouth. Given she hadn't had much to drink before then besides the water and the coffee, her throat was still parched and dry from the alcohol in the wine. She coughed and gagged right there as the hot smoke hit her throat.

“Yeah,” he remarked as he shook the lighter and extinguished the flame. “Yeah, yeah, yeah—that's exactly what it is. That's it right there.”

She let her tongue hang out from her mouth, and yet it did something to her right there. Suddenly her shoulders relaxed and the pounding sensation in her head was all but gone at that point. White smoke rose from her lips, such that it reminded her of a dragon. The feeling burned her eyes, but she still handed the joint over to Zelda, who took it plus the lighter and lit it up in one fell swoop as if it was second nature to her.

“The first thing we're doing when you find your new place in Hell's Kitchen is a smoke out and then a bit of art afterwards,” he suggested.

“We?” Marla demanded with a chuckle.

“Yeah, all of us. We'll have a smoke out and then you girls can make a shitload of art—impress your classmates for this upcoming year.”

“Impress our classmates,” Sam chuckled at that; she reached past him for her cup of coffee.

“Yeah! Show 'em what kinda art can come outta li'l bit of the Mary Jane. I should tell you ladies that this is literally ideal for listening to music, too. Some of my old buddies I was in a band with used to smoke pot and listen to Rainbow and Sabbath all the while. You oughta smoke weed and put on Testament's album when that happens, too.”

“Why their album?” Belinda asked him as Zelda handed her the joint and Joey the lighter.

“It's real fantastical and full of literature references. That's according to Frankie and Scott, anyway. Makes me feel real dumb in comparison, if I'm honest.” He lit up the end of the joint again.

“You're not dumb, Joey,” Sam assured him. “You just have a little problem with some things.”

“And I don't wanna do 'em ever again,” he told her; Belinda coughed once she inhaled the smoke for herself. She kept her mouth sealed closed for a moment as she handed the joint to Marla. She lit it up for herself and let the smoke out of her mouth as if it was as smooth as butter.

“Show off,” Joey teased her as she handed the joint and lighter back to him for another hit.

“Nah—I say we're good here, to be honest. Don't wanna fire drill—and it smells, too. Last thing we need is someone poppin' us for it. But there's a whole bag here, though. Bring this along if and when you get a chance.” He handed it to Marla for safe keeping. “Just make sure that no one else sees it. But it'll help out with inspiration, though.”

“I'll give this to Sam,” she assured him, as she handed the bag of weed to Sam herself, “because she's not the one having to move into a new place in Hell's Kitchen.”

Joey sniffled again and then he sneezed right there.

“I really, really don't need that shit for sure,” he confessed to them; he slid off of the bed and he passed the girls and headed out to the hallway.

“Kinda hungry now,” Belinda admitted.

“That's the problem with that,” Zelda told her. “I remember Louie and I would get the munchies like crazy. We'll have some pizza and then shower off 'cause of the smell and everything.”

Sam rubbed her eyes with her free hand. The smoke alone was enough to make her eyes burn. But she recalled what Joey had told her: she had to tell her parents that she had gotten drunk and then passed out. And then she remembered what her mother told her, or rather what she didn't tell her.

Joey returned to the room right then, complete with a look of concern on his face. He sat down to Sam's right and he bowed his head a bit.

“What's the matter?” Belinda asked him.

“I did the right thing by throwing out that coke,” he told her in a low voice.

“Why's that?” Sam shook her head at that.

“Danny told me that Scott's thinking of leaving the band at the end of this stint of the tour.”

“What!” Zelda gasped at that.

“Why?” Sam demanded with her mouth agape.

“'Cause of—that.” He gestured his head back towards the bathroom. “The booze and also—that. He doesn't wanna be around it—which is strange to me 'cause like—he drinks, too. And he's done some of that, too.”

“Yeah. That's kind of weird to throw out, but—yeah.” She set a hand on his shoulder. “Please, Joey. Promise me.” She then moved her hand before him with her pinky finger extended. “No more drinking or anything like that. Don't you dare leave my side.”

“I won't leave your side,” he vowed as he hooked his pinky finger around hers. “I trust you more than I trust myself. When do you girls start school again?”

“Uh—” She glanced over at Marla and Belinda. “Do either of you know?”

“September,” Marla replied.

“Yeah, September,” Belinda echoed. “Just like last year and the first year I was there.”

“Okay—I ask you 'cause we're gonna be in England in the middle of August. I forget the exact date, but—I hope it'll be before school starts. We also go to Finland in the middle of next month. Couple of big ass rock festivals.”

“We can probably get our passports by then,” Sam suggested as she rubbed her eyes again.

“Yeah, that'll be a good time to do that 'cause it'll be over the course of a week or sump'n. And then by the time we leave for Donington Park, the four of you can come along with us. I really want all of you girls to be in England with us.” He swallowed and bowed his head closer to her.

“Don't want another road accident,” he confessed in a near whisper.

“Absolutely not,” she whispered back to him and she could feel the firm feeling in her throat again. She returned her attention to the bag of pot in her hand, and then she glanced up at Zelda. “By the way, where's my purse?”

“Back in the room. Rose put it in with her bass because—you know the whole thing about people not fucking with the bass player. Which is crazy to me.”

“It really is,” Sam joked with a shake of her head. “It really truly is.”

[janetbrown711]

❝You are the only one who really understands me, so please—don’t go.❞ Dewey webby Delong with issues of webby leaving with Louie growing up and married and Dewey having issues and separation problems and aaahgavckfmgkf

Webby knew Louie was out of his damn mind when he swore that he’d be able to fix the whole Dewey being drunk out of his mind with Dante, Huey being anxious, and whatever spat Della and Daisy had gotten themselves into all before the rehearsal dinner started, but Webby did nothing to stop him. She was honestly quite interested in just how he would attempt it all, and just how spectacularly it would fail. That was why, despite her granny’s concern, she let Louie to it. 

However, her concern started to edge her when the dinner was starting in five minutes and there wasn’t a sign of Louie, Dewey, Dante, or Daisy anywhere. She figured Louie would probably try to fix everything last minute, as was often a technique of his (though weaker than his others). Sighing, she told Lena she’d be back in a moment and went to search for her fiancée. 

However, when she heard a loud thud, she was diverted from her path and rushed to assist whoever had fallen. To her surprise, it was Dewey, who didn’t appear even the slightest bit soberer than before. Whatever Louie had attempted, it didn’t work. 

“Dewey, are you okay? Why are you alone? Where’s Dante?” Webby asked, looking up and down the empty hallway. 

“Gone,” Dewey mumbled, his breath reeking of alcohol.

“Are you okay? You totally fell,” Webby asked, looking him up and down to check for any possible injuries. 

“Head’s fine. Made of solid rock,” Dewey grinned cheekily, knocking on his head a few times. 

“You’re coming with me mister,” Webby rolled her eyes at his slurred speech, wrapping an arm around him and helping him up, taking him to the kitchen.

“Where we goin’ Websssss?” Dewey asked. “Party’s thata way.”

“We are going to sober you up for Louie because he clearly doesn’t know how to do this,” Webby snarked. 

“True dat,” Dewey nodded. 

“So where’s Dante if you’re alone?” Webby asked again. 

“Dante’s... Dante’s... mm...” Dewey tried to think but couldn’t come to a conclusion. “Dewster’s all alone tonight.”

“Did he say that? Why?” Webby raised an eyebrow. She knew Dante, he was better than just abandoning Dewey like that. 

“Dewster’s aloneee tonight baby, no reason other than my brain,” He answered. Unfortunately, that did nothing to clarify the situation. 

“What about Huey? Louie said he was going to sober you,” Webby questioned. 

“Dante an’ Hubert got in a squabble,” Dewey shrugged.

“Well he better show up soon if this doesn’t work,” Webby sighed. 

“What we gon’ try?” Dewey asked. 

“That’s a surprise,” Webby said, so Dewey wouldn’t run away. It was going to be the tried and true method of dunking his head in ice-cold water until he could stand on his own. 

“Alllll by myseeeeEeelffffffff,” Dewey had begun to drunkenly sing to himself, as was his habit. No matter what situation they were in, if Dewey was drunk, he was singing somehow. 

“Dewey, you aren’t by yourself, I’m here,” Webby rolled her eyes. 

“Not for long,” he muttered. This caused Webby to stop. 

“What do you mean by that?” Webby frowned. 

“I mean...” Dewey’s face flushed and he looked to the ground. It seemed for a moment he would answer when suddenly vomited on a fake tree in the hall. Webby sighed. 

“We need to get you to the kitchen. I’m sure you can explain there,” She sighed and practically carried him to the kitchen, and he luckily didn’t vomit after that. 

Eventually, they reached the kitchen and Webby made her request for a big bucket of ice water, and the sobering began. She had to dunk his face in a total of five times before he demanded she stop and she knew he came back to his senses. 

“Tell me what happened,” Webby sat Dewey down and crossed her arms. 

“What do you mean?” Dewey rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Where’s Huey or Dante? How did you end up alone and wandering the halls of the hotel?” She clarified. 

“Right. That,” Dewey sighed. “Huey found me with Dante, Dante got snappy at Huey, Huey got snappy back, Dante left angry, Huey tried to get me to come back to save his ass so he wouldn’t have to give his speech, I got mad for him getting mad at Dante and stormed off, telling him not to follow,” he explained. 

“How long were you wandering around? And how did Huey lose track of you?” Webby raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t know everything, okay? It’s foggy,” he shrugged. Webby nodded slowly. 

“I see,” She said. “What about all that alone talk? When I said you aren’t alone you said ‘not for long’. What do you mean?” 

Dewey went silent for a moment. 

“Webby... I-i feel like you’re the only one who understands me...” 

“Dewey, you promised-”

“I know what I promised,” he closed his eyes. “But...”

“Dewey, I know what you want to say but you cannot do this to me. The wedding is tomorrow, you cannot do this to me,” Webby looked away. 

“I wasn’t going to say any of that, I would never do that to you or Louie,” Dewey clarified sharply. Webby took in a deep breath and let him continue. 

“What I meant is... you’re my best friend. Huey’s off in college with a fancy girlfriend, Louie’s getting married, Lena has a girlfriend, heck, even Violet of all people has a girlfriend, meanwhile... I feel like I’m all alone,” he slumped. “I feel like once you get married I’m just going to be... alone; that you won’t want to hang out with me anymore...”

“Lena isn’t dating anyone,” Webby suggested softly. 

“She doesn’t count,” Dewey rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I know, I’m sorry...” she sighed.

“Dewey, you’re a very good friend to me too. Trust me when I say, I don’t want to lose this friendship either. I care a lot about you, and I won’t leave you. I promise you’ll never be alone. Plus, you have Dante right?” She put a hand on his shoulder. He nodded. 

“I do,” he sniffled. 

“C’mon dummy, we need to get to the dinner. We’re already late,” Webby punched him in the shoulder, to which he winced and they left back to the dining hall. 

In all honesty, when Webby walked into the dining hall she half-expected everything to be on fire and a huge disaster, with Louie trying to fix it all in the middle. Instead, she was greeted by Louie with the smuggest and calmest face she’s ever seen in her life. 

“Well, well, well... look who’s late,” he grinned.

“Har har. You didn’t sober Dewey, so you didn’t win,” Webby pointed out. Louie rolled his eyes. 

“Well, I did everything else, including showing up on time, soooooooooo...” He winked.

“I get your hoodie for one month,” Webby rolled her eyes. Louie accepted this, holding out his arm for her, which she accepted and all of them took their seats. 

After that, everything seemed to go on without a hitch. Webby looked around the room and saw Daisy and Della were getting along just fine, leaving Donald much happier and more comfortable than before, Huey being relaxed and talking to Violet about things, and Launchpad was having a nice conversation with the person whose car he crashed into. In short, all was well. Webby was genuinely surprised. Then again, she had always known Louie for having a way with words and people. 

However, when Dewey began to hit his fork against his champagne glass (which wasn’t missing a single drop), Webby began to worry about what it was he was going to say. 

“Ladies, gentlemen, and other honored guests, let me be the first to toast to my brother and my best friend’s soon to be marriage,” he raised his glass. 

“I’ve known my little brother my whole life, minus forty-five minutes, and let me tell you he is quite the character. He’s selfish, lazy, and yet somehow the most caring and loving person I know. His schemes may get him in trouble a lot, but hey, I know they’ve saved my butt on multiple occasions,” he joked, which made the whole room laugh. 

“Without him, I’m sure everyone in this room would probably have found themselves in a bit more trouble than they are right now,” he said, to which several people nodded in agreement. 

“Now, Webby is fierce, sweet, and one of the kindest and yet also one of the scariest people I’ve also ever met,” he looked at her. “I couldn’t imagine someone better for my little punk of a brother.”

“So I raise a glass to their soon to be unity. Here’s to Louie and Webby; may their marriage be happy, may it be lengthy, and may it be filled with laughter and good times.” He raised his glass and everyone cheered and drank as he sat back down. 

“That wasn’t terrible Dewey,” Louie elbowed his brother and laughed. 

“I try,” Dewey rolled his eyes and smiled as he took a sip of his water. 

“I thought it was very thoughtful. He doesn’t have your way with words but it was from the heart, be nice,” Webby elbowed Louie. 

“He’s my brother, I have my rights,” Louie teased further. Webby chuckled and rolled her eyes. 

“Thanks,” Dewey said to her. 

“No problem,” She gave him a short and sweet smile and the night continued.

After the toast, everything continued normally, and without a hitch (unless you were Huey, Violet and Lena though, as they still had their bets going on, which they all took quite seriously). The dinner ended, and soon everyone headed off to their room to prepare for what tomorrow held. 

However, just as Webby was going to kiss Louie goodnight before he would disappear until the wedding, a certain uninvited someone burst through the door of the hotel and checked in out of nowhere. Once Webby caught word of it, she and Louie went down to the front desk to see who on earth would check into a wedding like that, and the night before of all times. 

However, the moment the figure opened their mouth a lot of those questions answered themselves. 

“Hello there Sharpy, happy to see me?”

Goldie. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

[sisterpiranha]

The Art of Snake Charming, chapters 1 & 2

(As I am having some issues with AO3, I’ll also be posting the new chapters of my fic here, just in case)

SUMARY: Johnny is a stripper. Daniel has a bachelor party. Louie is an idiot. Things move on from there.

CHAPTER 1

Cold water splashed against Daniel’s face. The headache he had been feeling for the past few days was still hammering dully at the sides of his head. From the bathroom he could hear Louie and his friends drinking and laughing. But he couldn’t match them, couldn’t truly join in. The same feeling nagged at the pit of his stomach.

This was his bachelor party. He should be feeling happy, he should be celebrating. Nevertheless, here he was, locked in the bathroom. Worry and doubt eating him inside. He didn’t understand, he loved Amanda. He had loved her from the moment he’d met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, witty, everything you could ever wish in a woman. She was his best friend, they were going to build something amazing, spend the rest of their lives together. So why did he feel this way?

A loud knock startled him out of his thoughts.

“Daniel, come on! We have a surprise for you!”

Louie.

Daniel sighed. He could imagine what the surprise was and, for a moment, he was grateful Miyagi hadn’t been able to attend. He doubted he would have been able to survive the embarrassment in front of his mentor.

“I’m coming!” he shouted and winced as his head started to throb harder. Louie made a comment that made everybody laugh and, then, Daniel heard him walk away.

In one week, he’d be married and going on his honeymoon. The knot is his stomach tighten. Sighing, he rummaged through the medicine cabinet. Knowing Louie’s drinking habits, he knew there had to be some aspirins in there. When he found them, he swallowed two of them dry, looked himself in the mirror and plastered in his face the kind of smile he usually reserved for clients at the dealership.

Drunk shouts and laughs erupted when he finally exited the bathroom. Louie grabbed him and pushed him on a chair he had prepared in the middle of the room.

“Come on, man! Your surprise will be here any minute!”

Daniel heard himself laugh as he let his cousin position him facing the door.

“Louie, it’s not like it’s exactly a surprise. And really, it’s not…”

“Stop right there, cousin. We are doing this. This is your last night of freedom!”

“You know the wedding is next week,” he corrected.

“You know what I mean. And let’s face it, once the shackles are on, god knows when you’ll get the chance to look at another naked woman. And you should see what I got for you, a true blond bombshell.” The others cheered and laughed.

Daniel just shook his head. He knew there was no way he was getting out of it. He might as well accept defeat and try to go through with it with as much grace as he could muster.

The doorbell rang.

“The entertainment is here!” Louie shouted excitedly walking to the door. The others cheered and Daniel groaned internally.

“You ready man?” his cousin asked, hand on the doorknob.

“Let’s get this over with,” Daniel sat up straighter, ready for what was to come.

Louie opened the door and a deafening silence took over the small apartment. Everyone looked at the newcomer with confusion, but Daniel’s utter shock was painted in his face. His heart started beating fast and his hands started to sweat. Those golden locks, those deep blue eyes, he would recognise them anywhere. Sure, the man was older, his hair was now longer and his shoulders were broader, but it was unmistakingly him.

The blonde looked straight at Daniel, recognition deeply set in his frowning eyes.

“Larusso,” a deep, rough voice said with venom. A voice full of anger that had no right to make Daniel feel as giddy as he felt.

He couldn’t believe it. His highschool bully, his karate rival, was standing there, in the flesh. He was wearing tight ripped jeans and a white t-shirt that did nothing to hide the muscles beneath. He was even wearing his black headband. Daniel’s mouth went inexplicably dry.

“Johnny,” he said under his breath.

And then, all hell broke loose.

CHAPTER 2

“What the fuck is going on here?”, Louie exclaimed looking at Johnny incredulously. “Who are you? Where the hell is the stripper?”

“What do you mean where the hell is the stripper? I’m here!”

Shock ran through Daniel’s body like electricity. Johnny a stripper? How could that be? Last he remembered, Johnny was rich, living in a mansion. What happened to him?

“What? No, that’s impossible. I hired a woman! I talked to the club! They said they were going to send a gorgeous blond called The Cobra”

Johnny raised an eyebrow while the other men in the room started to snigger. Daniel could see Louie getting angry and he knew that never led anywhere good.

“See, pal, we are not fags or anything like that. Whatever you are offering, we are not interested. So, sorry. You’ll have to go.”

Johnny’s eyes hardened and took a step towards Louie.

“You made me come all this way. If you made a mistake, that’s not my fault. I’m not leaving without my money,” the blonde sounded low and menacing.

“Your money? You didn’t do anything!”

“You book me, you pay me!”

In a second, Daniel stood up, trying to get between Johnny and his cousin.

“Look, it was obviously a mistake, I think we can…”

“Stay out of it, Larusso!” Johnny shouted, then turned to Louie. “Fine, you don’t want to pay me? Let’s see what my boss at the club thinks about that. But let me tell you, he’s nowhere near as nice as I am.”

“Louie, maybe you should…” Daniel pleaded, but his cousin ignored him.

“Please, do you think you are going to scare me with your pimp?”

That seemed to have touched a nerve. Johnny jumped towards Louie.

“I’m not a fucking prostitute!” he shouted, but before Johnny could touch him, Daniel reflexes went into motion and managed to stop him. He grabbed his arms and, for a moment, their eyes met. He could feel the hard muscles under his hands and a strange electricity buzzing between his fingers and his rival’s skin. He shivered.

The moment lasted an eternity, or so Daniel felt. An abyss had separated from so long and he was so close. He was touching him, touching Johnny. He was here. He couldn’t believe it. His beautiful eyes bored into him with an unreadable expression.

And, suddenly, the moment was over.

“Whatever. I’m out of here,” he said pushing Daniel away. The blonde threw one last hard look at him and Louie and then he turned around and disappeared down the dark hallway. Daniel just stood there frozen, staring at the open door.

“What a dick!” Louie exclaimed. “This is all Vinny’s fault. I bet he gave me the phone number of the wrong club on purpose! I’m going to fucking kill him!”

But all Daniel could hear was his heart pumping. Even his headache was forgotten. Johnny. Johnny Lawrence had been there. Johnny Lawrence was a stripper. He couldn’t comprehend it.

He wished he could say he hadn’t thought of him in years. That he was the distant memory of a remote past. But he had to admit that it wasn't the case, even if he was too ashamed to admit anything else, even to himself.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Louie was asking him a question. Daniel blinked and tried to focus on his cousin.

“Where do you know that asshole from anyway?”

“Highschool,” Daniel said simply.

Memories of Johnny flooded his mind. Their fights, the tournament. He knew he should be glad it was over, that he should forget the encounter altogether, try to placate Louie and move on with his life. However, his body seemed to have made a different decision, even before his mind could comprehend it. In a split second, he was out the door, following the blond man.

When he reached the street, he saw Johnny already disappearing down the corner.

“Johnny! Wait!” Daniel shouted as he ran after him.

“Go away, Larusso!” Johnny answered without stopping.

“Please, I just want to talk to you,” he said pleadingly.

“Why? So you can’t pity me?” Johnny turned around and faced Daniel, who was just catching up to him, puffing. “So you can make fun of me?"

"God, Johnny, no. I just wanted to apologise. Louie, my cousin, he was a dick, he had no right treating you like that. I’m sorry.”

Johnny sighed.

“Fine, apology accepted. Can I go now?”

“I thought maybe we could talk, catch up?”

“Catch up? Are you fucking serious?” Johnny asked, incredulous.

“Or something, you know.”

“Larusso, we’re not friends, we were never friends. There’s nothing to talk about. Now I’ll go and try to put an end to this shitty day. And you get to go home happy, knowing that your highschool rival makes a living giving lap dances to perverts. Consider it a wedding present.”

“How could you think that would make me… Wait, how do you know about the wedding?”

In a second, Johnny’s face was transformed from anger to amusement. He chuckled.

“God, Larusso, you are such an idiot, you’re lucky you're pretty.”

“What?”

Oh right, the bachelor party. He was an idiot. What was it about Johnny that always made his brain short circuit? But that was not all he’d said.

“So you think I’m pretty?” he asked with a smirk.

“Pretty annoying,” Johnny answered, giving him a playful push.

“Nice to see you’re still a dick,” but there was no malice in the words. He was enjoying this playfulness between them more than he’d like to admit.

Johnny just smiled. He looked younger when he did, like the young man he had been all those years ago. They stood close to each other under the streetlight. Their own bubble of light surrounded by darkness. Even the noise from the city seemed to have dimmed. Johnny’s blond hair shone brightly creating a halo around his face. The whole scene was surreal.

“I have to go…” Johnny said softly, taking a step back. And just like that, the spell was broken.

“No, please, wait. Let me… Let me at least give you the money…” Daniel cringed at the desperation he could hear in his voice.  

His hand went to his pocket only to realise that he left his wallet in Louie’s apartment. And even if he had brought it, he probably didn’t have enough to give Johnny.

“Wait here a minute, I could go get my card and we can go to an ATM to get your money.”

Johnny just shook his head, took something out of his pocket and pressed it against Daniel’s palm.

“This is the club where I work. You can send the money there if you want. Or…” he said, taking a step closer. He was now so close that Daniel could almost feel the heat from his body, and his puffing breaths tingling against his skin, “you could bring it yourself.”

And with a last smile, he walked away leaving Daniel frozen in the street, clutching the card.

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

[duallygirl178]

Dearest O'Malley Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I was soon starting to feel under the weather myself after Joe passed away. I felt weak from being under nitrus for 3 months, just like Jim; Nathan's instructor said. I began to get sick too just like that. Nathan tried to get me running again and grew frustrated. I felt my timing points were off just a little bit and I had to sit for almost 2 months that summer and I dreaded feeling sick for a while. All I could do was rest and as I was napping that afternoon, I had a dream about my father. In my dream, I was a young boy and playing a prank on him. I had sneaked quietly into my father's room and tip-toed to the bed where my dad was sleeping. Then, I tipped the mattress fell on top of him while he was in it. My dad was yelling and swearing in fury, but in the background, I could hear my mother laughing herself silly. My father squirmed effortlessly to get up as he fought through the covers. Once he was out of the cover twists and turns, he pops up trying to breathe and then that's when his face turned angry. He was just as angry as a yellow jacket wasp. He hollered out "Who flipped over my mattress? Whoever did this, better know that I'm out for you, I'm coming! Ya hear! you broke my chassis and my rear view mirror done broke!" I was laughing as my mother came up behind me chuckling as if no one cared. Dad yelled and yelled at my mother that she was in trouble. He yelled as us kids and mother didn't let him get away with it. She yelled at him with the most uncomfortable and longest sentence of swearing I've ever heard. All of us except for me, would start copying mom on her swearing in the background.

I suddenly woke up with a jerk and started to think to myself; 'Did that really happen?'. I remembered my dad was always fussing that he broke something  when it wasn't fatal or when it was minor. If he bumped something on an object, he'd make a big scene out of it all. It was embarrassing! I liked to compare my father's personality with the parent from the TV show, "Life of Louie". He was a difficult, caring, comical, and downright paranoid father. After 10 minutes, I already forgot about my dream. I checked the time. It was late in the evening around 6 o'clock and I was beginning to get sweaty from the heat.

That mid-July, Joe fell and hurt his head. He had to go to the hospital in Farmington New Mexico. Carol, his wife couldn't bare to live without him. She was in her chair when it happened because she could barely get around. Then the night Joe was in the hospital, she got depressed and started to be loopy. She was seeing things that weren't there and she called the police because she would imagine that children were trying to steal her medication. Carol; Nathan's grandmother, called the house phone at 1010 late and there was all this commotion that really wasn't necessary. Carol was paranoid the whole time Joe was in the hospital and when Joe was transported to the hospital that was located in Albuquerque that July, she was going downhill fast. Sadly, Joe passed away a few days later. Jan, Nathan, and Natalie all had to pitch in each of their time to help with Carol that included changing her diaper, feeding her, bathing her, and changing her gowns. The care went on for a few more months after she got out of the hospital from an infection. It took several weeks to get Carol out of there, but she was doing fine when she was transported to Good Sams in Aztec. Good Sams was a place where old folks could recover from the hospital, be socialized with others and live there. It was really nice. Carol was doing fine and couldn't wait to be home again. While Carol was at Good Sams, I got bored that day. I headed inside the empty house. It felt cold and drafty because no one was here except for me, Ol' Reliable, and the van. I went into the spare room to go sort out some VHS tapes. I looked under the twin bed and found the box of VHS tapes that was stuffed under there. I pulled them out, took them out to the living room, set the VHS player up to the TV, turned it on and watched. There. On the tape was me. I was a lot younger then...possibly about 13 years old. The camera focused in on my dad. He  was putting an old stack of newspapers in boxes ready to shred up in his electric shredder and was listening to a matching song too. He was listening to "Rip it up" in the Bill Haley & His Comets version. I turned the camera on a pipe hose connected to an exhaust pipe to a truck that lead to the window of a room. I was going to have a neighbor floor the gas pedal to release dirty diesel exhaust smoke and fumes through the pipes to smoke my dad out of the room he was in to shred the newspapers. I was fed up of him saying "I'm busy, son" and "Go play outside son." a lot to me. The camera focused on me after it showed footage of what I did and how I was explaining it. As it focused on me, I had this revengeful look in my eyes and said "I'm going to get you, dad" then I was laughing my deep hissing laugh that was weird. I focused my eyes on my neighbor and said "Okay Dan. Move em' out" Then, my neighbor revved up his engine and black smoke flowed through the hose and into the window that I lodged in. Quickly, the room flooded up with black smoke and out came my dad like a raging bull. I could hear him coughing his wheezy cough as smoke poured out like water from a faucet. My dad was covered in a black soot coat and had a death stare in his eyes. He was furious and said "When I breathe, I'mma kill you, boy" but I just laughed my stupid laugh. It was hilarious to watch my dad burst out of the house like if it was on fire and covered in soot.

I had forgotten how funny it was when I recorded my dad being angry with me because I pulled a prank on him and filmed it all on video cassette. My dad looked 50 years younger on this one and his owners had him 8 years with him still running. He was still an errand car till this day.

Next, I viewed another tape dated May 13, 1981 and I couldn't remember what was filmed on the tape. I ejected the tape out, placed it on the living room table and slid the second tape in. I watched and waited to see what came up. I could see it was something to do with my first dance at an Elk's Lodge and I was on a stage singing my first number. Then, it struck me. My father came to see me with my talent aboard to perform at the prom that I volunteered and signed up for at the high school.

I was singing a tune I had selected from my dad's records to show off. I looked dashing with new primer and cloud-white paint up on the stage. I was rocking it out to 'Jailhouse Rock' by Elvis Persley himself for a moment. And just when it was about to get boring, I performed "At the hop" by Danny and the Juniors and that's when everyone got crazy for rock n' roll. You could see square dancing and hooting from the crowd. Everyone was having fun and rocking it out. Then I remembered I was the Disk Jockey singer before people started to use re-mixer equipment and electric bits on their buttons. I remembered as I was viewing this tape I had sung a few more Elvis Persley songs such as "Don't be cruel" and "King of the whole wide world". I remember singing a few more songs by Little Richard too like "Tutti Frutti", "Rip it up", "Long Tall Sally" and "Jenny, Jenny".

Gonzo was even there too watching me with a random band that I had known for only a day that was playing the notes behind me. One of them was a Chevy Impala, two of them were Dodge Cornets, the other one was a GTX that was handling the music key grip. The tape was full of memories and outdid myself. In the tape: I was making my way off the stage when I was all done. The rules were; I had to pick and sing six songs. After my turn was over, they needed to let the next contestant have a turn. I enjoyed the rest of the night dancing with the crowd. I could see Impa and Gonzo in the back of the room. I had weaved through the crowd to come get them so we could party. Impa was in his best dressed and Gonzo was fixed up as if Elvis Persley dressed him up himself and said 'Okay, have a good time. don't get drunk on Greyhounds now' Greyhounds were a type of alcoholic drink that was from the 1960s. It was a tangy grapefruit like drink that wasn't made from any orange juice. We were giving Gonzo a little bit of guff about how he was all fixed up in his duds for a few minutes. Then we boogied until we turned purple to all the great songs and then some with the crowd. It was all fun until I accidentally bumped into a 1968 Plymouth Fury. Right away, I apologized and got her some first-aid care. She told me I was very generous and rare for a gentleman to say anything sorry to. Most men bump into her and not even say their sorry. I had responsibility unlike those jerks she was talking about that she may had encountered.

The tape ended and I ejected it out of the player after rewinding it. I looked at more titles that looked tempting to recall back upon.

I had a lot of fun watching all the VHS  tapes that my dad recorded on. Not many of them had Impa and Gonzo on them, but I sure missed him. I knew I got to remember all the things we three boys did together when he was still alive. It was good to see him on the tapes. As I viewed more of the tapes, I was even more taken back to see Gonzo, Impa and I singing at a stage that a bar had around. It was hazy and smoky from all the customers smoking pot and drunks that were bored out of their motors, twisting their beer bottles off the tables as they were getting high on hash. The smoke was making us three high, tired and sound like the California Raisins during our song we were performing. I remembered after that, we were so exposed that we were driving high. We didn't get caught by any police officers and we reached home alright.

[teresabaldini]

(KEIRA KNIGHTLY + CISFEMALE ) —  Have you seen TERESA BALDINI? This THIRTY-FIVE  year old is a LIBRARIAN who resides in BROOKLYN. SHE has been living in NYC for NINE YEARS, and is known to be ADVENTUROUS  and RESILIENT, but can also be UNFORGIVING and BLATANT, if you cross them.  People tend to associate them with COFFEE and WORN BOOK SPINES

Hello everyone! I am Les and this shall be my feral nerd, Teresa. I used to be in the group a while back so if we had plots going, I would love to continue them. If not, that is cool too! I’ll be linking her wanted connections down below so please take a lookie see because I am so down to plot with you all!

tw: death

Wanted Connections

Born in Lexington, MA, Teresa was happily raised by two of the most humble and hardworking people she would ever meet. While her family never needed for anything, her parents’ resilience motivated Teresa to be an A+ student and becoming her senior class valedictorian. Despite her dedication to her studies, Teresa had a taste for adventure and the exciting thrill of the unknown.

, she met Paloma. A girl with a wicked smile that made Teresa’s knees weak. It was the first time she became infatuated for someone. Becoming inseparable, they fell in love and planned to move to NYC together. But that day never came. Tragically, Paloma was struck by a drunk driver and died on impact.

Despite her dreams of attending to NYU and moving to the city, Teresa opted to stay in Massachusetts and attend Harvard. She told her parents she wanted to be close to them but in truth, she couldn’t face the future she had longed for with Paloma.

Majoring in History and English with a minor in Spanish, Teresa made the most of her education at Harvard and made many friends. And yet, her heart wasn’t the same. To ease her pain, she jumped from one lover to the next, never really letting herself open up to the possibility of love.

 Upon graduating from Harvard, she was hired by her favorite professor as a research assistant and entered the Library Science Program at U.S.C. After four blissful years of being a nerd, Teresa decided it was time to move back to the East coast and crashed on Paxton’s couch until she found a job and a cute apartment to move into.

Within a year of moving to NYC, Teresa had found her dream job, senior librarian at the New York Public Library and was exceptionally proud of her growing plant collection. She became fast friends with the owner of the bagel shop down her street and she enjoyed her subway commute to work. Her life was great... until she fell in love again. Despite her evison to love, she found herself hopelessly -or foolishly- in love again. After a month of dating, against their better judgement they got engaged and eloped without telling anyone. She thought they would spend the rest of their lives together. But their secret marriage quickly fell apart and was annulled, leaving Teresa disillusioned with love. (It’s a wanted connection if you are interested! Slide into my dms, babe! )

Quick Facts:

Teresa has no filter and will say whatever is in her head. As you can imagine, it often puts her in a difficult pickle.

Teresa collects two things: plants and books. Please do not make her choose between them. She might kill you.

After Paxton, her favorite person in the whole world is Louie. Her pet turtle.

She has a knack at becoming friends with complete strangers on the subway and learning their whole life story before their final stop.

Despite living in the city, Teresa prefers the outdoors and will often go to the Black Mountain Loop trail in the weekend to hike.

Raised Catholic, Teresa still goes to church even though she sins on the regular. 

[nitr0glycer1ne]

Ducktober Day 3 - Secrets

Hiya! Oh gosh I'm so sorry about leaving without notice for so long... turns out it was a bad idea to work on both this AND Inktober during October, so I focused on inktober...... but I have nothing planned for November, so I'm going to continue with this and finish this challenge, hopefully! 

Donald's eyelids could shut close any moment- unfortunately, he's driving, so he's doing his best to keep his heavy eyes focused on the road. He can see the sea glinter in the distance, with its waves smoothly shining under the setting sun. Another ten minutes or so, and he should finally be home, if the triplets didn't make the boat explose or sink while he was at work.

Donald hates leaving the three of them alone. Because they're awfully crafty and clever even though they're barely eight years old, but mainly because he's terrified he'd leave them on the boat only to return and find they've disappeared. It's happened before; he let his adventurous sister out of his sight and his mind for a few days, and she was gone. She's been gone for eight years now. Which is why Donald's so tired today. Even though he sometimes takes up to three jobs at the same time and almost overworks himself to keep his family fed and safe, Donald knows his limits and tries to never work more than fourteen hours a day. Except for the days surrounding a certain date- June 9th, today. Donald will happily work twenty four hours shifts he can, and even beg for overtime. He'll get stupid with sleep deprivation and exhaustion, he'll put his brain in a fog it can't see through, he'll do anything to lose his sense of time. Every 9th of June, Donald turns a year older. And every 9th of June, he's reminded she probably isn't. Having a twin means sharing your birthday, which most people would find issue with. A birthday is a special day, your day, the day where people celebrate your very existence; it's a yearly privilege to treasure. Yet, even though they used to argue and bicker and fight, Donald and Della were more than happy to share their birthday and celebrate it together; they couldn't imagine life without the other, without insult matches ending in laughter, without adventure and treasures, without courage and love. Until Donald had to. He parks his car and exits it with a yawn, wondering if maybe he should buy a bottle of something before going home. Donald has never really drunk alcohol since college; but the weight of memories and sorrow grow heavier each year, each day, every time he sees the three lovely boys she never got the chance to see, and he feels like maybe, for once, he should indulge in some liquid amnesia.Donald's thoughts are cut short when he glances at his boat and sees dark smoke rising from the small chimney. All traces of weariness vanish from his overworked body, and he rushes to the boat, screaming nonsense as his heart pounds, a sickening burning smell growing stronger with every step, . Donald finally opens the door, expects the worse- And finds a scene of pure chaos. Huey is trying to cook three things at the same time- although it's impossible to tell what he's supposed to be making, since the contents of the three pans are similarly burnt. Dewey is looking through his CD collection, quickly scanning through them and putting them in the music player lying on the ground, skipping audio tracks every three seconds or so. Louie is, for once, not letting his brothers do everything in his place; he's sticking things on the wall, sheets of paper with a colorful letter on each of them, spelling "HAPPY BIRTH-" so far. They all look collectively at their uncle when the door shuts close behind him, loud enough for the sound to reach them in spite of the music player blaring old rock songs, Donald's favorite tunes to hum as he cooks diner for his boys. "UNCLE DONALD!" they all screech before running from their respective spots, tackling their speechless guardian to the floor. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" they scream in unision, their small beaks poking at Donald's chest. It takes Donald a moment to fully process the situation- the balloons scattered in the room, the candles neatly settled on the counter near the fridge, the handmade party hats on the table. It's been years since he's had a birthday party, and- Three confused ducklings step back from their uncle as he starts to laugh, first nervously then happily, a radiant smile shining on his face and tears streaming down his beak. "Uncle Donald?" Huey asks, worried. "Are you... are you okay?" "You're not mad, are you?" Louie checks, perplexed. "We thought-" "I-I'm not mad, boys." Donald promises, still crying, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I'm just- I didn't expect you to-" "The element of surprise is always key when you're planning a surprise birthday party!" Dewey roars, merrily running to his guardian and giving him a hug. "Otherwise it's just a birthday party and you never have those!" "Yeah, you always do something nice for our birthday, but you never do anything for yours..." Huey adds, joining his brother and wrapping his arms around his uncle's waist. "So we thought we'd take the matter into our own hands." Louie concludes, patting Donald's back. "We even have gifts for you!" "But no cake, sorry..." Huey winces. "I... kind of burnt it." A deep, warm joy radiates through every fiber of Donald's being as he holds his three nephews close and thanks them, enjoying the way Dewey gladly hugs back and how Huey holds him tighter and how even Louie joins in the group hug. Every 9th of June, Donald gets a year older. And maybe she doesn't, maybe she does; but what's for sure is that every 9th of June, Donald is granted another year with the three stars shining in the dark sky of his life.

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Hope you enjoyed! I love Donald a lot! He has his flaws but he's an amazing father who does the best he can for his boys!!