#IM TRYING i think it's getting better but i am still terrified

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[catmask]

before i go to bed - can i confess something?

learning how to do art skills as an adult i didnt have the space for as a kid is terrifying. im not of the mindset that, when i see artists more talented than me who are much younger than me that i get upset. its the opposite really - i feel breathtaken watching everyone whos already got a foot in the race i feel like i was just able to tie my shoes for and start running. im happy for them, and im happy for me too - i WANT to do this, but i feel so embaressed for wanting it at the same time.

i dont think my art is even bad. i dont really think 'bad' art exists to begin with; objectively i can measure my skill and see improvement from where i began. i guess its more like i feel that my art should be more impressive for my age... or that i should have more to show for it. but if i say that, then what if someone older than me, or someone who feels behind me, hears me say that? i dont feel this way about anyone else but myself, but negative self talk can still seep out and effect others around you.

i think im coming to accept that being scared is a state i need to get used to and accept as a sign im moving forward. never trying anything hard IS 'safe', but 'safe' and happy arent always the same thing. some times you need to not be 'safe' to move towards being happy. sometimes you wont be either, just on the road between the two.

i am really proud of myself, and i think im moving forward to thinking a little better of myself too. and the truth is i am happy, because as long as i can keep drawing and sharing that with everyone thats all i really want. maybe i dont need to be impressive as long as im always getting better, maybe i dont need to be super talented as long as im always doing my best and remembering to smile.... i dont think thats a life to be ashamed of at all

[darlingdaisyfarm]

What do u think dad!Ford would be like? 🥹

☆彡 Ford Pines as a dad :)

★ his past haunts him. Ford is hyper-aware of his own mistakes and he’s terrified of repeating them. if he gets snappy or distant, he always circles back to apologise to his kid. “i didn’t mean to upset you. im still learning how to be better at this.”

★ academic expectations aren’t a thing for him. Ford understands the pressure of being “the smart one” better than anyone, so he refuses to let his kid feel the same weight. they could be an artist, a gardener, or a professional bubble blower, he’ll support them 100%

★ awkward, deeply earnest. he’s the dad who gives his kid a PowerPoint presentation on how much he loves them or offers comfort by saying things like: “i believe your emotional pain is valid and deserves acknowledgment.” but he’ll also stay up all night building a model of the andromeda galaxy for their science fair because he wants them to feel supported

★ he loves teaching them. not in a pushy way, but because it brings him joy to share what he knows

★ he's willing to explain the same thing 20 times if they don’t understand it or sit through the same annoying kids’ movie on repeat because it makes them happy

★ paranoid protector. if you think Stan is overprotective, Ford is worse. he teaches his kid how to build a Faraday cage just in case someone tries to control their brainwaves

★ PROUD NERD DAD. he’s that parent. the one who builds overly complicated science projects for the school fair or accidentally intimidates the teacher by asking if the curriculum includes quantum mechanics

★ Ford has seen things. he’s fought interdimensional monsters and battled with Bill Cipher, so yeah, he’s terrified of his kid getting hurt.

“you can’t go to that sleepover. what if it’s a trap set by extradimensional entities?!”

“dad, it’s just Timmy’s house.”

“just Timmy’s house, you say? that’s exactly what Bill would want me to think!”

★ he gives his kid tracking devices disguised as bracelets and builds a mini forcefield generator for their room. It’s a lot, but it all boils down to one thing: he’s terrified of losing them, like he almost lost Stan

★ notes on the fridge with text “out of milk. also, don’t touch the glowing rock in the lab, it might be sentient.”

★ Ford doesn’t always know how to express affection, but he’s so proud of his kid. hes the guy clapping too loud at the school play, or awkwardly trying to high-six after a good report card

★ i have a feeling he'll insist on preparing the kid for every possible situation, from wilderness survival to escaping an alternate dimension. he turns a simple camping trip into an intense survivalist training session.

“so you see this? this is how you create a makeshift compass using only a magnet and some swamp water. now, repeat it back to me.”

“Dad, can we just roast marshmallows?”

★ Ford knows he’s made some very questionable choices in life. and he’s determined to steer his kid away from making the same mistakes. but he also knows that life isn’t meant to be lived in fear. so he tries to let his kid explore and make their own mistakes, even if it kills him to watch

★ he does these impressions of weird creatures he’s studied to make the kid laugh or making up ridiculous bedtime stories about interdimensional adventures

★ being genuinely interested in whatever the kid loves. they mention liking stars? he’s pulling out telescopes and teaching them how to navigate by constellations. they doodle in a notebook? he’s buying them every art supply and researching the history of visual storytelling

★ if the kid needs help with a project, he’ll spend hours (or days) going overboard. you’ll find him at 2 AM in his study, hunched over a model volcano, muttering about optimizing the lava flow

★ casually mentions his interdimensional adventures at dinner and the kid eats it up because, let’s face it, having a dad who’s basically Indiana Jones with extra trauma is awesome

★ he’s terrified of being a bad father, of not being enough, and that fear can make him distant at times. he overthinks every decision, convinced he’s going to mess it all up. what if he's too much like his father? what if he pushes his kid too hard? but the thing is, he cares, so much. and his kid knows it, even if Ford’s love is sometimes wrapped up in layers of self-doubt and fear

★ if anyone messes with his kid oh, they’re done. Ford may be a nerd, but he’s also a six-fingered genius who’s survived the multiverse. he’ll calmly dismantle anyone who threatens his family

★ Ford's bedtime stories start off like normal fairy tales, but somehow they end as “and so, the starfish rebuilt its missing limb, but it always remembered the one it lost. and it knew that even though it was whole again, some things leave scars you never see.” you’re sobbing. the kid’s sobbing. Ford’s eyes are suspiciously glassy as he kisses them on the forehead and mutters something about needing to adjust the humidity in the room.

★ bonus point if he’s reading his kid a bedtime story, he gets way too into it, doing all the voices and even sketching out illustrations

★ Ford may not be that emotional as his brother, except when it comes to his kid. their first stick-figure drawing? framed in his study. their macaroni art project? encased in glass because he’s convinced it’s a modern masterpiece

★ i think Ford is usually the patient parent. but one day, after hours of hearing “why can’t I do this? why am I not good enough?” from his kid, he loses it.

“you think you’re not good enough? do you know what I see when I look at you? i see someone braver than I ever was, smarter than I’ll ever be and kinder than this world deserves. you are my child, my greatest achievement and if I hear you doubt yourself again, so help me, I’ll—” and then he has to stop because both of them are crying and hugging

★ he insists on teaching the kid “important life skills,” but half the time it’s just him geeking out while the kid watches in awe/confusion “okay now, if you ever find yourself trapped in an alternate dimension, here’s how you build a rudimentary portal using only a toaster and three rubber bands.”

“. . . can you teach me how to ride a bike instead?”

“right. yes. of course. bikes.”

★ and he never stops learning. about his kid, about himself, about what it means to be a father. it’s not always easy, but Ford is nothing if not resilient

★ Ford’s idea of a trip is hiking through the woods with a map and an emergency beacon, dragging his kid along while pointing out flora and fauna. “see this plant? highly toxic. don’t touch it.”

★ his passion for research often pulls him away, but he doesn’t want to miss a thing. over time, he learns to put boundaries in place, to walk away from the lab when it’s time for dinner or to prioritize their soccer game over his latest discovery

[that-starry-freak]

Yknow what? I have to rant about this this has been eating me up for forever. Fuck confessions I'm going to do this here.

I fucking hate old moon

Do I love his sass? Yes. Do I love how Reed plays him most of the time? Yes. Do I love how he interacts with other characters? Yes!

Do I like him as a "person" and for what hes done? Absolutley not. He abused Sun, and when he found out the daycare exploded his first reaction was to be upset because THE STICK HE WOULD ROUTINLY HIT SUN WITH was fucking destroyed. I'm sorry bitch what??? That's disgusting Moon I wish you burned in hell <3

I also absolutely hate that no one saves Nexus

Do I think it was Sun's fault? Absolutely not, he has had way too much shit to deal with. Do I think its Earth's fault? While I think Nexus was absolutely right for calling her out for not being a therapist, she has every right to be upset for him saying he'd kill her. Do I think its the families fault in general? No, Nexus pushed them away and hurt them, they did try.

You know who I do blame? Who should understand Nexus better than anyone? Who even admits partial responsibility for it, and pretty much denies any sort of redemption for Nexus?

Mother fucking Old Moon.

Old moon committed arson. He abused Sun routinely (forcing him to go to dangerous dimensions. Hitting him. Calling him stupid. Having a clear power difference between the two and abusing it). He put his killcode in Sun and is literally the reason Eclipse exists and terrified their family.

But no, Nexus is the one in the wrong. He's the one that will have to do soemthing huge and grovel to be redeemed. Because he threatened the family after having hallucination and literally going insane and mourning his best friend, and feeling like he wasn't good enough and spiraling cause he couldn't bring Solar back, and then joined Dark Sun whos known to be exteemly smart and manipulative. Not Old Moon, who did so much worse. No, he gets to rejoin the family after apologizing and promising to do better (and yes, he is doing better) sure, Sun doesn't forgive him (and im proud of him for admitting that <3 that's very strong of him), but still.

Plus, Nexus is literally the youngest family member. He's a lot younger than Earth and Sun and Moon and Lunar. He isn't Sun's twin, and he isn't Earth's older brother. He is the youngest. And that should be addressed, because that means he is much more immature. He hasn't had all the time to grow up like the rest of them have. Moon has had years to grow as a person. Nexus has had a year.

Anyway, tldr. I dont blame the family for what happened to Nexus, I blame Old Moon

Also sorry for bad spelling or grammar or autocorrect or whatever, I'm not rereading this

ALSO THIS IS NOT FOR DEBATE. I AM RANTING ABOUT MY OPINION, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, PLEASE JUST SCROLL PAST I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO ARGUE. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION AND SO AM I ♡♡

[dprvivi]

„TOO GOOD TO ME“

Pairing: intak x g.n.reader

Summery: you wake up from a nightmare

Warnings: kissing but very fluffy, this is short!

A/n: this prompt was everything in like 2020 days of fanfiction so I am bringing this back. Do we want more of the classic fanfic prompts innige future?

You didn’t get the chance to sleep over at the p1harmony dorm often. Not because you or intak didn’t want that… but his schedule was tough and you respected that.

Tonight was one of the times you had to wait for so long again. Getting to stay over the night.

You cuddled all evening. Watching some tv show, that if you were honest was only backround noise, if even that. Cuddling and kissing, slight making out and teasing but both of you were too tired and just enjoyed cuddling to much, to do more than that today.

At some point you both fell asleep. Your head on his chest as his arm was around you, holding you close like you were about to get stolen and stroking your hair until you were both asleep.

4.35 a.m was what the clock said when you woke up. You were trying to catch your breath and remember what just happened. As you were looking around you were obviously aware that it was just a nightmare but you still felt terrified. Breathing very hard and tears streaming down your face without you even noticing.

„y/n“ intak sounded so tired as he sat up towards you. „Hey hey hey what happened“ he said immediately after realizing you were crying. He instantly pulled you into his chest, rubbing circles on your back trying to get you to stop crying. He bend down to give you a kiss on the head.

„I‘m sorry…. It was just a nightmare“ you were trying to calm down because you didn’t want to keep him awake.

„No sweetheart it’s alright. Do you want to tell me what happened?“ he asked so softly while having a comforting smile on his face.

You shock your head instead you moved back to him to hug him. He hugged you tightly whispering in your ear. „It’s okay, you’re alright“ „im here y/n“.

If you were honest you obviously could tell him what the dream was about but it was just a dream. It was already starting to fade from your memory and you wanted to be in the moment with him and not in that dream.

You pulled back after a few moments and looked at him. Tear streaks were all over your cheeks and your nose red. He reached his hand up to you face and wiped what was left of your tears away, smiling at you so softly.

„You look adorable when you cry“ he said while laughing slightly. You hit him playfully but had to laugh yourself.

„Are you feeling better?“ he asked while looking you up and down trying to read your body language. You nodded. „Thank you intak“

„Don’t thank me for that baby“ he said while shaking his head. „Do you want to go back to sleep? Or I could get you some water or whatever you need?“

„You are too good to me“ you responded. „I think I want to go to sleep again“

He nodded and layed back down, opening his arms for you. You snuggled up against him resting your head on his chest again. He wrapped his arms round you once more as you already felt yourself drifting of to sleep again.

A/n: I’m convinced intak is one of the closed people we will ever have on the earth to a perfect boyfriend.

[kokonut3953]

“Go to bed, Goggles!” Insomniac!Varian X Reader

__________________________

Hi, my little marshmallows! Thank you to alchemicalwerewolf for the request! This post was SUPPOSED to go out 3 days ago, on Varian’s birthday, but it’s coming out of March 27 because I’ve been REALLY sick. Like. Im struggling here 😭😭😭…AAAANYWAYS. Let’s go!!

Y/N’s pronouns: They/them

Type: Fluff, angst

Warning: Swear words

DISCLAIMER: I’m not very knowledgeable about insomnia, I might get information wrong.

__________________________

You’re over at your boyfriend’s lab. It’s 2 am as of now and you’re *trying* to get him to go to sleep.

“C’mon, goggles. When was the last time you went to sleep? I’m asking seriously.” Y/N crosses their arms.

“Hmmm…I went to bed three days ago…that’s enough, right?”

“N-No, it’s really not…” Y/N just stares.

“It’s enough for me, sweetie! I’m not even tired!” He yawns.

“V, you’re yawning. Of course you’re tired. You can’t just ignore your needs.”

“Oh please, (nickname)! I’ll be fine, no worries! It’s all worth it for alchemy!” Varian takes a sip of the hot cocoa that Y/N made for him.

“Varian, you know I can’t let you fuck around and find out what happens with no sleep. You’re going to pass out in the daytime. That’s what always happens to me. I know you only sleep like- once a week. And you know I can’t let you do that.”

Varian lets out a small yawn. “Even so, I can almost never go to sleep. I…I just can’t. Even if I could, I can’t yet. Not while my father is still encased.” An angry look is plastered on his face.

“Varian…please, listen to me. I…no matter what you do, I will stand beside you. But I can’t see you push yourself like this. You can work on freeing your dad tomorrow, okay?” Y/N brushes Varian’s hair out of his face. “Please, goggles? Go to bed?”

“Y/N…I-I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to you. I know what’s right. I’m going to free my father, I don’t care how long it’ll take. I’ll sacrifice weeks worth of sleep before I even think of going to bed for 8 hours.”

He mixes up a chemical, before pouring it on the amber…he waits. “C’mon…c-c’mon-please…” Y/N and Varian watch closely. The chemical evaporates, not doing anything. Varian’s body tenses up, before tears roll down his face. He pounds his fist on the amber.

“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.” As Varian pounds his fist on the amber, he starts to bleed. Y/N drags him away.

“Goggles! You’re going mad! You’re not yourself right now!” Y/N grabs and hugs him.

“No…no…no no no nonononono…i-it’s not…why didn’t it work? I-I-It was supposed to work. It’s not right. I-It’s not…” Varian just stares at the chemical.

After hyperventilating for a bit, Varian hugs back.

“Y/N…I didn’t want to tell you this, but…I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified. What if…what if I never see my father again? What if…he’s stuck here f-for years? The rest of my life, even?” *Varian starts shaking.

Y/N removes their headphones and puts them on Varian. “Varian, I know you’ll see your dad. I know you’ll find a way. You’re so smart. You can do it, I believe in you. But…out of good conscience, I can’t let you do this without going to bed. Please, Varian.”

Varian pauses “W-Will you cuddle me before I sleep?”

Y/N smiles, before kissing his cheek. “Of course I will. I won’t leave you.”

“Then…fine. I’ll go to bed…”

“Good.” Y/N picks up the 5’2 (A/N: I’M NOT JOKING, HE’S 5’2…GOOGLE IT.) boy and leads him to bed. They cuddle him tightly. Kissing his forehead.

Though Varian finds it extremely difficult, he starts drifting off to sleep.

Y/N and Varian fall asleep together. Varian sleeps for the first time in three days.

__________________________

Oooookay! We are done! alchemicalwolf, I hope that was good enough! I haven’t been writing fics for too long, oneshots are a bit tricky to me. I will get better with time!!!!

Soooo everyone, please give me more requests (in either the comments or my ask box) so I can write for you guys and improve my writing! Bye-bye for now, my little marshmallows!

[candyskiez]

thinks about teru again. he’s so funny and tragic to me. like. ok so he got targeted by a psychic terrorist organization that sent adults to try and kidnap him at a young age. and he rationalizes it by going “i am the Protagonist this is happening because i am the Main Character” and then lives his life by that idea bc it’s that or face the fact that he’s nothing, that he’s an average person and all these things happened to him for no reason. and then he meets mob and wants to befriend him, has questions he wants to ask- here is someone who might finally understand him. and then bc teru is thinking like a Main Character i think he goes “ok so if i defeat him then we’re friends otherwise we’re rivals” bc he’s still going off of tropes and cliches. and then shigeo fucking curbstomps him and he goes “oh ok i get it im not the main character 👍 KAGEYAMA’s the main character. so i must be The Rival Character then” but it’s just a way he can act as a friend without breaking the tropes he uses to rationalize his trauma

YEAH YOU GET IT! YOU UNDERSTAND! He's so horribly lonely but also literally everything about his mindset is directly standing in the way of giving him any connection. He holds people to such high standards that they're always going to disappoint him, so he spends time with none of them. He craves constant approval and affection but none of it is enough to satisfy the need for actual connection. So he just goes through shallow relationship after shallow relationship going Yep. This is great. I am happy. And I genuinely think he doesn't realize he's NOT happy because like. When you're in a shitty situation for your entire life you don't necessarily realize things can be Better. So Teru is not captured by claw when other people are, and he can do things that other people can't, so his situation is better than most! Nevermind the fact hey maybe there shouldn't be Claw. Maybe people shouldn't be attacking random kids. Maybe this is all insane. He's just like. Wow I'm so strong and smart for evading claw, because the idea that he just was Lucky would be terrifying and take away his entire sense of safety. He needs to be the smartest toughest guy that Has Ever Existed™ because if he's not, then suddenly he could get captured or die at any moment. And that's suddenly way less haha my life is so cool! The denial juice is strong here.

Literally everything about his introduction episodes is so damn telling. He tells the body improvement club everyone always underestimates him. But he conveniently leaves out how this makes him feel, or if he's offended. We see him lose his shit when Mob says he isn't able to hurt him, so clearly he's far more affected by it than he wants to admit. But he can't be upset by it. It's an Advantage in this Battle he's in. No one takes him seriously, and that means he can get away with more shit, and that means it's easier to beat them in battle! Nevermind the fact that he works his ass off, he is not upset at all, because that would be ridiculous. It's an Advantage. He wraps literally everything in his life that hurts him up in a bow of "Actually, this is good." He cannot admit that anything about him or his life is bad. He cannot admit that he isn't perfect, or that his life isn't just a fun challenge, or that he maybe misses his parents a little bit. He like...just fully submerges himself in the idea of being a character so he doesn't have to realize how easily he could die or have his life ruined. If his parents stop sending him money, he's fucked. If claw beats him, he's fucked. He doesn't have actual connections with people, because he views them too lowly to let them in at all, and he is fucking himself over so hard with it. He needs this to not be terrifying. And he also needs to be in the right, I think. I mean, he treats all of the fights at school like a game. It feeds his ego and it means he's safe. People can't touch him and it feels good to take out his anger (he's just angry that they disrespect him, he has nothing else whatsoever to have unresolved anger about, he is completely fine and is just enjoying being able to wipe that smug smile off that assholes face. He is so okay and well adjusted!) He's just. A mess of weird ass coping mechanisms. If he isn't right, which he definitely is!, suddenly he isn't the main character, suddenly he's not just Doing Whatever, suddenly he's just another asshole. Y'know. Do I make sense. He needs to be right because if he's not right it goes from a fun game to he was just an asshole for no reason and he didn't actually gain anything at all.

God. I need to rewatch EP five, because it's insane and also tells you so much about Teru, I'm sure it's even better on a rewatch. I need to rewatch this show soon or I'll die. But like. God. He takes the idea of the only other natural esper his age he's ever met being different than him SO personally. Because he's right. He is doing everything exactly the way he is supposed to. Clearly this guy is an idiot and weak. That's why he's afraid to fight him. Clearly. He can't comprehend that maybe Mob just straight up doesn't want to hurt him. Mob thinks he's better than him. Mob needs to be taken down a peg. And then he can't hurt Mob. Then he can't break his fucking barrier. Hes fought espers before. He knows how to fight espers. He is perfectly capable of it. He has literally everything he needs to beat him and for the first time he very suddenly Can't. And this person is so different and is treating him like he's having a temper tantrum and isn't following his rules that he's formed his entire life around. Can I interest you in autistic Teru. Can I please interest you in the fact Teru has autism. Please ma'am I just want a minute of your time.

I also feel like. The fact he Needed to idolize Mob is very telling. Mob defeated him so CLEARLY he's so powerful and perfect and amazing. He still can't let go of Being Amazing, of the idea he can't fail for no good reason. He needs Mob to be special or else he means nothing. Or else he's worthless. He needs to mean something. His entire identity is hinged around Mob now which. No pressure. He needs Mob to be perfect or else he's worth Nothing. So he puts him on a huge pedestal so he doesn't have to do any reflecting and now he can have the added bonus of a friend and it's Fine! It is totally fine. He is not affected by the fact he almost killed a man on accident. He is not affected by the fact he may have severely injured several people. He is not affected by the fact Mob could've killed him. He is not affected by the fact he was wrong. None of this affects him at all. He is So Fine.

And then he switched the narrative around to haha I was the one who needed to be taken down a peg. This is fine. My world view is not in shambles. I don't need to reassess anything. Everything that happened to me is still cool and fine and I still matter because I'm in the main characters life. So it's fine. He goes from nothing matters except Me to nothing matters except Kageyama, but at first he's done absolutely zero reconfiguring.

Also like. He romanticized that fight so much. Can we please talk about that. God. Hi. This fucking kid. Someone please like. Get him a therapist and maybe a Capri Sun.

I'm too tired to write more right now and think I should probably go ahead and post but like. Yeah. God. This show. Teru makes way too much damn sense. I want to shake him. What is his problem (just spent several paragraphs analyzing his problem.)

[marstonsboy]

My question was what do you think Jack and Abigail's relationship was like after John's passing because I been thinking about it for a while now

ALSO HII IM SO HAPPY FOR A REAL JACK FAN BLOG❤

HII I AM TOO 🩷

we know that abigail dies just a few years after john. how she died is debatable and i’d say usually up to personal headcanon. some people think she died of heartbreak, others think she got sick. personally when i write the latter i hc that she died of TB— mostly because, in both rdr1 and the rdr2 epilogue, you can occasionally hear her having coughing fits. it’s a little thing, but neither jack nor uncle seem to have that problem, so of course i ran with it.

plus, the effect TB has on you largely depends on your health before you got it— the state of your immune system and such. it could also remain dormant or inactive for years, so in theory her health could absolutely take a decline after losing john. but that’s another rant, and NOT related exactly, i just got sidetracked.

in terms of their relationship post-1911, losing both john and uncle in the same day had to have hit them hard. jack would have had beecher’s hope left to him very suddenly at sixteen, and i can’t imagine abigail was doing very well. she’d already had enough stressful periods of time where john either walked out or was presumed dead. to lose him in such a final way and know he isn’t coming back, because they found the gruesome sight of his body in front of their home? yeah. wouldn’t be good for anyone.

jack is the one to pull her away from john’s body and hold her after, not even crying himself, so i think he’d be the one taking care of her for a while, trying to make sure she’s alright and taking care of herself. i can imagine abigail understandably consumed by grief. she’d likely not only be heartbroken over losing her husband, but also over her teenage son doing his best to care for her even though he’s much too young to be dealing with any of this.

i think as they start doing better that she’d be able to smile again after a while, but probably still terrified that she could lose jack too at any point. they both share in the trauma of losing john and uncle, and the unnamed little sister jack had who supposedly died very young, possibly in infancy. they really only had each other left. while they’re both used to john leaving, it was never really this final. this brutal.

abigail gets to see him grow into an adult, and grow up to resemble his father a jarring amount. not only in appearance, but in his anger too, and his desire for revenge. i’d be surprised if she didn’t at least see that he was spiraling down a bad path that she did everything she could to steer him away from.

but still, jack loves his mother too much to make her see the man he turns into, and he doesn’t hunt down ross until after she’s gone. that alone speaks a lot to how much they meant to each other.

[writingdungeon-inactive]

Dear Diary

Evelyn and George, I love them so much.

ANGST! GET YOUR ANGST HERE!

POV Evelyn’s Diary - shes 19/20 RN - WILL HAVE TIME SKIPS - None of this is cannon beside pop pop blowing up - BTW George still blows himself up oop - Imagine getting snips of her Diary not the whole book - Im not sorry for how I end this - fight me

I did make a kinda sequel right here featuring Alex a lot more angst over here "The Past Reborn"

"Happy ends"

Today is Spring, 8, 1965.

While working in the clinic today, a miner came in, but he wasn't like the other miners. He almost dropped his cap taking it off while trying to introduce himself. His name is George, and he came in for an injury on his hand. The rope he was holding had slipped from his grip, causing a severe rope burn across his palm.

He apologized for tracking coal dust into the clinic, which no miner has ever apologized for before. I don't think their mothers explained how hard it is to get coal dust out of the bed sheets, but it's my job, so I shouldn't complain much. I just hope George will be okay. I told him he should inform his foreman that it's doctor's orders he not work until his hand heals completely.

Today is Spring, 12, 1965

The doctor was out of town today, having a call outside of town. The clinic ran as usual, although I had to tell some people to return tomorrow to see the doctor. Despite a few cases, today was a good day. Mr. George came back, and his hand has healed phenomenally. It still has a bit more healing to do, but it doesn't look like it will leave a bad scar.

I must admit, when I was holding his hand and inspecting his burn, I couldn't help but feel light-headed. George is not a bad-looking man, and his smile is so kind, His miner's cap always tosses his brown hair, and his eyes always have a twinkle in them. I’m afraid I’m a horrid nurse, feeling these things for someone in my care.

Today is Spring, 20, 1965.

George came by the clinic today. His hand looked better, but that wasn't the reason he came. He brought me a bundle of tulips, thanking me for all the care I had given him. I'm looking at them in my window right now, and I can't help but smile. He is such a kind man. I can't quite figure out how he knew what flowers I fancy, but does that matter? They are so beautiful.

I am sad, though, because George's hand has healed fully, and now he has no reason to come to the clinic. I should be happy—he's healed, and I did my job—but my heart aches knowing I won't see his smile or his twinkling eyes again. Like I said, I must be a horrid nurse.

Today is Summer, 4, 1965

I saw George again today. I was at the market shopping for dinner when I reached for a leek, and my hand touched his. His laughter is much more boisterous than his voice, which was a pleasant surprise. It's nice discovering things about him—he is like a book I don't want to put down.

He offered to cook me dinner as a proper thank you for helping him. I should have said no, but I said yes. Now, I'm sitting here, terrified to go to his home. I've never had anyone other than my mother cook for me. My heart is fluttering.

Today is Summer, 13, 1965

I have heard the number thirteen is unlucky, but I believe it to be lucky. This evening, I heard a knock at my door. It was George, dressed nicely with his hair neatly fixed. He handed me flowers and asked me out to a gridball game.

What do I wear? I want to impress George. I haven't been on a date before.

The date went so well! George's team won, and he was so happy. We got sorbet afterward to celebrate, and George took my hand in his as we walked. I really do believe the number thirteen is lucky.

Today is Summer, 28, 1965

It has been two weeks of me and George going steady, and it feels like a dream. When George finishes his shift in the mines, he comes to the clinic and walks me home. He is such a gentleman, nothing like the other miners I have met. Tonight was just magical. As George walked me to the door, I could tell something was off. His hands sweat when he is nervous, and I swear they were dripping.

He looked at me, his face as red as a beet, and asked if he could kiss me. His lips are soft and warm. It's embarrassing to admit, but his mouth does taste like cigarettes. Oh, I think I am in love, and I don't know what to do.

Today is Winter, 20, 1965

I can't believe it… George asked me out again today. He took me to the cliff to watch the sunset. He was sweating again and refused to look at me. When I asked him what was wrong, he just caged up further. I thought he was breaking up with me, but then he grabbed me as I got up to leave. His words fumbled over each other, and he almost fell over as he rushed to his knee.

George proposed to me. He told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met and that he couldn't stop thinking about me since he burned his hand with that rope. I'm so excited—I'm going to be George's wife soon. I just wish Mother was still with me so she could see this.

Today is Fall, 14, 1970

I can't sleep. George had an accident today at the mines. It was terrible; they had to rush him to the city. The doctor sent me home, saying I was a wreck. I can't stop crying, picturing him covered in blood and bruises on the operating table. Someone said he dropped dynamite.

Please, Yoba, don't take my George. After losing my parents, he's all I have. I can't bear to be alone again. He's my everything—the love of my life. The house feels empty without him. Every corner holds memories of him, and I can't imagine life without him.

Yoba, you've always answered my prayers. Please, I was so alone after Mother and Father passed, please don't take him from me as well.

Today is Spring, 2, 1971

They finally allowed George to come home from the hospital, albeit in a wheelchair. But that doesn't matter to me. What matters is that he's home and on the mend. It's a new chapter for both of us, one filled with challenges and uncertainties. Sometimes, George can be a bit rude, but I can see the fear in his eyes.

I made a promise to stand by him no matter what: for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. And I intend to keep that promise. I'll be there for George, caring for him and cherishing our time together, no matter what lies ahead.

Today is Winter, 2, 1976

This is a happy day! Me and George weren't sure I could become pregnant, but I am! We are so excited to see our child. George has been working in the nursery non-stop, making sure he can care for our baby, not allowing that wheelchair to stop him.

I have decided on two names: Clara for a daughter and Coy for a son. I don't care what we have; I know they will be perfect.

Today is Summer, 10, 1977

Clara is perfect. With George's rich brown hair and my green eyes, she's a sight to behold. Despite her small stature, her eyes hold the same glimmer of curiosity as her father's. I know she will cause all kinds of trouble as she grows up just like her father.

As I watch George cradle her with such gentleness, his protective gaze never leaving her, and the tears of love that well up in his eyes as he whispers soothing words to her, I'm reminded once again of how blessed I am to have him by my side. In moments like these, it's crystal clear that I've married the most wonderful man.

Today is Summer, 13, 2000

I knew the number thirteen was lucky. Today, our grandson Alex was born. As I held him in my arms, I couldn't help but notice how much he resembled his mother, right down to the tiny button nose that mirrored hers when she was born. George was worried about Clara, complaining that everyone was here to see just Alex and not his baby girl. He has always been such a good father; he will be the best grandfather as well.

Looking at my family as it has grown, I’ve gone from an empty home after my parents passed, to a husband, a daughter, and now a son-in-law and a beautiful grandson. I love my family dearly and can't wait for the years ahead of us.

Fall, 16, 2004 This page is heavily tear stained

We took Alex for the day taking him to the fair as Clara wanted him to experience it. I can't believe we got lucky enough to have Alex… George's scream echoes in my mind… Did he scream with that pain when he was blown up?

We thought the phone call was Clara telling us that they would be late picking up Alex. The phone call shattered our hopes—it was the Zuzu Highway Patrol delivering the tragic news. Clara and her husband are gone… Victims of a drunk driver on the wrong side of the road. They didn't survive.

But we have Alex…. We have to tell our four-year-old grandson he can't go home anymore… He can't see his Mother or Father ever again

Yoba, why didn't you shield them?

[calamaroo]

Vent

Figured my misery might be funny haha relatable. And i need to let it out, or I'll explode.

I've been so fucking lonely these past few days, and I bet the person who is causing it will abandon me like every fucking one else once once/if they see this, but what-fucking-ever. I'm so mad at myself for being such a friendless loser that having no one to talk to kills me so much, and I'm so mad at myself for mad at them for not talking. They've let me know they're busy and tired, and I know people have lives and need space. I'm not mad at them, I don't think, but I'm just so angry with myself for being so selfish. I want to ask them to talk but I'm so terrified of rejection or coming off as clingy because I am clingy. I am desperate for friends, but too afraid to reach out and make them. I from the middle of fuck ass stupid nowhere, I live in a small ass town where everyone knows everyone, so there's no one I can talk to who doesn't already know my shitty fucking family and will retell all my fucking secrets to them. I hate it here it's awful and miserable, but I can't fuckung leave. I'm a dependent coward with no job, no life, no social skills, and no money. I don't have any personal space whatsoever.

I also just need some fucking friends. I'm still too petrified of coming as a complete fucking weirdo to ever share my feelings, so whoopty-fucking-do, we're just gonna keep on keeping to our fucking selves.

I'm angry and scared and nothing is fair. I work so fucking hard to be a good person, and I get nothing, FUCKING NOTHING, in return. I just want one good god damn thing to happen to me, I just want ONE thing to go my way.

(That got kinda off topic, whoops)

The main jist of my problem is I just need some fucking friends and some confidence to make them, instead of the shitty socially awkward, friendless, lonely, coward card I've been dealt. This shit isn't fucking fair. I try SO HARD to be a good fucking person, but I don't ever get shit in return. I'm nice because im scared no one will like me (but also, it's just better to be a good person). I'm selfish and ungrateful and jealous of everyone who has it better than I do. I don't wanna be like that, and I'm so angry and lonely and alone.

[dontdoxarya]

The sucky thing about BPD is not being able to ever celebrate. I can’t ever find joy in myself, my relationship or even personal growth. Because all I can think about is all the reasons I suck. Waiting on the other shoe to drop. Eventually something WILL go wrong.

Eventually. People will realize I suck. Being seen by people who care about me isn’t fun. It’s an audience to gawk at my next spiral and so they judge me. Then cut ties with me forever because Im not worth the effort.

Loving people is not a celebration. It’s just a collection of folks who will then get bored of me. It’s this waiting game of wondering when I will abandoned again. A cruel and wicked game. A prank.

Growth is no big deal. It’s just phase 1 of my next backslide. “I am doing better.” “Am I?” “Fuck it. Let’s do worse.” I let my guard down. Only to backslide really fucking hard. It terrifies me.

Happiness only exists to salt the wound that is pain. “Didn’t you enjoy the peek into joy? It was never yours to claim!”

My asshole friends keep refuting all of it. I get told that they are very aware of my flaws. Trauma responses. Or whatever. And they don’t care. So anything insane I do will only be seen as “she’s having a rough time with her BPD.” They won’t see it as a sign of me being horrid. Just aware that I am struggling with something. And maybe feel bad about it.

Fuckers keep telling me how they can tell how hard I try to be better. The chip I have on my shoulder feeds families. They tell me how even when a messy situation happens:They know me well enough to know I am trying. They know I will introspect on it. Apologize. Then try to be better.

I talked about someone who abused me? Took advantage of my drunken state. And that got tied into being told “you are not like that person. I can see you doing a lot of things wrong. But nothing abusive. I know you well enough to know it isn’t you.”

I’ve gotten into dumbass fights with my closest friends when my abandonment issues have gone off. Only to just. Idk. Get to move on and still be close.

“I know we grew up together. And moving countries put strain on our relationship. But you suck for not calling me more.” Only for them to UNDERSTAND I am dealing with loneliness and isolation :/

I hate it. I don’t understand what any of them see in me. What the hell. How did I deserve any of this

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[i3utterflyeffect]

(´▽`ʃƪ) c ould you please summarize the main plot points of some of your recent aus? (for example, im really digging selkie and loc, but i missed what exactly ended up happening with cho and dark in the former (both when they came to be and recently), & the entire inciting idea/event of the latter (and probably other deets i have no idea i missed))

how many are covered and at what length is up to u

i love perusing the asks but i get easily lost <3 tysm

augh alright!! okay so!

Loss of Control AU

Basically, this is post-showdown, but Dark did survive! It takes place right around the same time that the episode The Box does in canon!!!

Chosen and SC are captured, but so is Dark! Victim drains Dark's powers to take them for themself but it goes very very wrong and Victim loses all control, basically going into a feral state where they are constantly in fight/flight, which is very bad when you have brand new powers you can't control :(

Victim immediately is in a lot of pain, and basically wrecks a ton of Rocket Corp. The mercs are kind of at a loss as to what to do since Victim destroyed a lot of their weapons in the initial panic, and end up going to Chosen, because how the fuck else are you supposed to stop a superpowered stick on a rampage? c!alan didn't have any better ideas and without their tools the mercs aren't really in a much better situation

Chosen ends up getting released alongside SC, and finds out what happened to Dark, so they end up kind of freaking out. They can't exactly leave Dark here, because they ABSOLUTELY don't trust the Mercs to not just turn around and hold Dark hostage to get the upper hand again, and if Dark found out they would absolutely try to pursue Victim and Chosen. so they very reluctantly go with their best idea-- keep Dark safe by trapping them on the desktop!

admittedly i like to imagine either stick!alan or normal cursor alan depending on whatever's more fun for the situation, so that's not really set in stone at all lol

but that's basically the whole deal what's going on with dark and chosen!

Selkie Sticks AU

basically i have no idea how Alan becomes a selkie but the summary of the most important stuff is here!!!!

Dark does survive in this AU and gets redeemed as I've recently decided. :]

selkie!SC basically starts out as a toddler just because i think it's fun! Alan adopts the rest of the CG when they're around 4! (not as in how long they've existed but their age lol)

selkie!chosen is very much protective of their younger siblings, and kind of ends up bonding with alan a lot because they help take care of SC and the tiny CG a lot!

the CG have 'coats' as well, but they aren't selkies! alan actually made the little 'coats' for them as a gift. they're not real coats, but Alan figured that they'd want something to match! he was very much correct and the CG love their false coats a lot

also i sometimes talk about an AU where selkie!alan is still stuck as a cursor while taking care of SC! that's not a part of the main AU i just think it's so so funny to imagine

i think that's about all the tidbits i have that aren't covered tho!!

Stick!Noogai

i'm just including this one bc it's a favorite of mine hehe.

basically, during AVA 1, Alan somehow gets stuck in the computer! i'll be referring to him as Noogai from here on bc that's his name in the au :]

anyway, when he gets stuck, Victim terrorizes him for a while, before Noogai makes Chosen! in this AU Chosen is actually the one with mission code, but it just sums up to 'please protect me i am SO SCARED'! this goes very badly while it's still in strong effect but Chosen does their best to deal with it bc Noogai isn't sure how to change it without potentially hurting them :(

Victim kind of ends up not wanting to torment him in the end because he's kind of. too pathetic?? he's sick from the shift from human to stick, he's terrified, and he doesn't know how to protect himself at all, and it's really no fun at all to scare him because he just has a panic attack. honestly Vic is kind of worried about him after a certain point because he responds so poorly to becoming a stick, both physically and mentally.

eventually the two end up in a sort of begrudging understanding, and Vic ends up (reluctantly) helping Chosen take care of him.

I'm kind of not sure where Dark shows up, but let's just say they show up here for simplicity! Noogai draws them as a friend for both him and Chosen! unfortunately Chosen's first reaction to seeing an unfamiliar stick on the PC is to punch them. after that initial road-bump though things are pretty much fine!

they eventually find their way into the outernet and end up moving there, partially because Noogai is so sick of the PC and also because it's very hard to take care of someone who's used to being a human on a computer. Noogai ofc brings the pencil and pen.

he ends up kind of having a semblance of normality after moving to the outernet, and things are pretty much fine up until the fair where Gold dies in canon!

Noogai actually ends up going in before Gold and getting caught in the crash, but Chosen saves him, leaving him with scarring and a crippling fear of minecraft, but him and Gold do end up becoming friends! They're both not exactly the most social people among most sticks, and they're both kind of nerds, so they end up getting along really well and doing a lot of stupid kid stuff together!

SC ends up being created after Noogai tries to show the pencil to Gold, for no reason other than he was dumb and the first thing he drew was....... a stick. because of course it was.

Noogai is basically the little sibling of most of the hollowheads though, and it's mostly just a silly au!! Victim does end up having a soft spot for him deep down eventually, but they'd never tell him that because he'd absolutely exploit it. and also the mortifying ordeal of being perceived. mostly the second one. they view him as their little brother though, even if they sometimes think he's a little brat :]

also i draw the noogai!sticks with faces because noogai drew faces onto them!! he thought it'd make Vic a little less scary and they were nice enough to tolerate it

anyway!! hope that helps :]

[bugwolfsstuff]

The Cupid scene but make it unrequited? Valgrace

Meant to finish this yesterday but couldn't get it done in time so heres it now. I'm not completly happy with it but im just glad its done.

-------

"You cannot lie to Cupid, Leo Valdez. If you let your shame and sadness rule you...well, your fate will be even sadder than mine," Favonius said, and Leo could have sworn there was pity in his eyes before the god disappeared in the wind.

Leo felt like he was back in Khione's ice palace. There was no way this wind god he just met knew his deepest, darkest, never-to-be-said-out-loud feelings. Right?.

Right?.

No, he must be talking about something else, and Leo is just being stupid and paranoid. He has to be.

Fortunately, or, more unfortunately, Leo didn't have the time to dwell on the ominous words of wind gods.

Because the ground was shaking. Why was the ground shaking?

So. A voice said.

Something zipped past his face and nicked his ear, throwing him off his feet and into Jason. Pain blossomed in his right ear, and he was pretty sure he was bleeding.

"You okay?" Jason asked, catching him in his strong arms.

Leo winced, holding a hand to his injured ear as he scrambled to his feet, trying not to think about the fact he just fell in Jason's arms. "Yeah, I'm good," he muttered.

You come to claim the sceptre. The voice said behind them, more like stating rather than asking.

Leo turned to where the voice was coming from, but no one was there.

"Cupid!" Jason called, standing at Leo's back with his sword drawn, "Where are you?".

The voice—Cupid laughed. It definitely did not sound like it belonged to a sweet baby angel's. It sounded rich and velvety but also threatening— like an ember in a fire before burning a house to the ground.

Where you least expect me. Cupid answered, As love usually is.

Leo's heart skipped a beat as something invisible slammed into Jason and hurled him across the street. He toppled down a set of concrete steps and sprawled on the floor of an excavated Roman basement.

I thought you'd know better, Jason. Cupid's voice circled overhead like a vulture. You've found true love after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?

"Jason!" Leo screamed, scrambling down the steps.

Jason took his hand and got to his feet. "I'm okay! Just sucker punched by an angel."

Oh, Did you expect me to play fair? Cupid laughed. Make no mistake; I am no angel, Jason Grace. I am Love. I am never fair. 

Oh boy, do I know that. Leo thought dryly before Jason swept him off his feet.

Literally not...not metaphorically.

Leo was swept into Jason's chest as Jason intercepted an arrow that would have gone straight into Leo's chest with his sword. The arrow exploded against the nearest wall, giving them a nice limestone shower.

Of course, Jason wasn't done giving Leo butterflies in his stomach and grabbed his hand, pulling him up the steps and behind another wall as another arrow rained down on them, shattering a column nearby into a thousand pieces.

"Is this guy Love or Death?" Jason growled, still holding Leo's hand.

Thanatos and I are often not so different. Cupid said from somewhere above, except Death is usually kinder.

Leo understood that more than he should: Death is just...well, death. The End. Just boom, you're dead! No more pain. No more problems. And if you're lucky, you get to chill in Elysium for eternity. 

While Love is...terrifying: It hurts, sometimes it doesn't last long, and some just don't get it (cough cough).

"We just want the sceptre!" Jason shouted, poking his head above the stone wall. "We're trying to stop Gaia! Are you on the gods' side or not?"

A second arrow shot at the air dangerously close to Jason's head, landing on the ground near Leo's feet and glowing white-hot. 

The arrow's temperature shot past 2,397 F (Hephaestus power.) before combusting into a geyser of flame. 

Love is on every side. Cupid said. "And no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you.

"Great," Jason said. "Now he's spouting greeting cards as well as trying to kill us."

"It's official. Queen was right; Too much Love kills you," Leo joked. If Love is gonna kill him in the end, then at least he wants to make Jason laugh before they both die.

Leo caught a ghost of a smile on Jason's lips before another arrow landed between them, ruining the moment.

You can't hide from Love. It will always find you no matter what. Cupid's voice said nearby.

Leo's hair sparked; the idea of burning the feathers off that smug, overgrown chicken's wings was getting more and more enticing. He knew Cupid was toying with them, enjoying their discomfort as he shot his stupid arrows.

Another arrow narrowly missed him, and something inside of him snapped.

He snatched the arrow up and threw it back where it came from. "Enough games, show yourself!"

Lucky for him, he had good aim. The arrow hit something and hung in the air for a moment before dissolving, leaving no trace: not even a spot of ichor that could help pinpoint his location.

"...Very good, Leo," Cupid said, though it was strained. There wasn't a wound, but it must have hurt. "At least you can sense my presence. Even getting a glance at true love is more than most Heroes manage. Maybe there's hope for you after all".

"So we get the sceptre?" Jason asked.

Cupid laughed. Leo was seriously getting sick of that laugh.

Oh no, there is still much you can do for me.

Jason started to speak, "But—"

An arrow shot through the air, zipping past Jason and hitting Leo square in the shoulder.

"Leo!"

There was a burst of pain in Leo's right shoulder, and suddenly, he was back at the Wilderness School again.

He had just met this cool guy, Jason. He was also a foster kid like him. Jason seemed too good for a school like this. He wouldn't tell him and Piper what he was here for, just that his case worker, Juna— Juno or something — sent him here.

Piper told him later on that she thought Jason was kinda hot.

Leo thought so too but he didn't tell her that. 

Another arrow hit him in the back this time. 

He wasn't sure when Piper and Jason started dating; it had only felt like a day had passed since they met.

He pretended it didn't hurt.

He didn't dare ruin their happiness.

So he just smiled and bared it every time they flirted with each other and told jokes every time they kissed.

"Stop it!" Leo shrieked, "None of it was real! Hera faked everything!"

Not everything, Cupid said softly, and a third arrow dug into his skin.

This time he was on their first quest in Boreas's ice palace.

Khione told them he couldn't come with them to see Boreas because of his fire.

He played it off that he wasn't hurt about it, even though it did. It wasn't the first or last time someone was scared of him.

Jason tried to defend him at first with his hand on Leo's shoulder, which only made him love him more.

And it sting more when Jason walked away holding hands with Piper, leaving him alone with Cal.

It was fine. None of it was real, not even his feelings were, and even if they were, it's not like he could act on them. He was just the funny guy, the mechanic, the seventh wheel. He wasn't supposed to fall for his male best friend, who was already dating his other best friend. He wasn't supposed to want something more than friendship with Jason.

He bit back the tears that were already threatening to fall. The grass at his feet was starting to smoke. "Show yourself!" He screamed.

It is a costly thing, Cupid said, looking on the true face of Love.

Another column shattered. Jason barely scrambled out of its way in time.

My wife Psyche learned that lesson, Cupid said, She was brought here aeons ago when this was the site of my palace. We only met in the dark. She was warned to never look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster. One night, she lit a candle and beheld my face as I slept.

Jason said something, but Leo couldn't hear him over the sound of his own heart pounding in his chest. He could still somehow hear Cupid though. Of course, Love was the only thing he could hear other than his heart.

Cupid laughed from somewhere at the edge of the Amphitheater. I was too handsome, actually. A mortal can't look upon a god's true appearance without suffering grave consequences; just look at poor Semele. My mother, Aphrodite, cursed Psyche for her distrust. My poor lover was tormented, forced into exile and given impossible tasks to prove herself. She was even sent to the underworld on a quest to show her dedication. She earned her way back to me, but she suffered greatly.

Leo had no clue what he was talking about, but it sounded like he was a terrible husband.

Jason thrust his sword into the sky like he was a demigod He-man and was about to yell, 'By the power of Jupiter!' and beat up Cupid.

Unfortunately, he did not do that. 

Instead, the ground shook, and lightning blasted a crater where Cupid's voice was coming from.

There was silence, and for a moment Leo thought it was over and that they could get the sceptre and leave. And hopefully, never speak of this day again.

Leo should have known they were never that lucky.

An invisible force—Cupid, knocked Jason to the ground, sending his sword skittering across the road.

A good try, Cupid said, his voice already distant. But love isn't so easily pinned down.

A wall collapsed, Jason barely managed to roll out of the way.

That was enough for Leo.

"Hey!" Leo yelled, waving his arms around. "It's me you want! Not him!. Leave him alone!"

Poor Leo Valdez. The god's voice was patronizing and tinged with disappointment. Do you really know what You want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love to win my trust back. And you — what have You risked in my name?

"I'm literally saving the world!" He yelled, clenching his fists, "I've faced way worse! You don't scare me!"

I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest.

Jason struggled to get up off the ground, and a piece of Leo's heart broke. This was all his fault. He knew exactly what Cupid wanted. But he didn't want to admit it just yet.

All around Leo, the ground started to heat up. Grass smoked, and stones steamed.

"Give us Diocletian's sceptre." He said, trying to put his best brave face on. "We don't have time for games."

Games? Leo's breath was knocked away as a hand slapped him sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work — a quest that never ends. It demands everything you have — especially honesty. Only then does it rewards.

Pain blosomed from Leo's...everywhere. His head spun from the pain, and the ground started to heat up more. Stones were starting to crack, and the grass was starting to spark. All it would take was one more push, and everything would burn.

Jason was up now and had retrieved his sword, "Leo!" he called, "What does this guy want from you?".

Leo's lip trembled. Everything was going so wrong. He didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to tell Jason. "I don't know!" He yelled back, and an arrow embedded itself in the pedestal, inches away from Leo's face.

Tell him, Leo Valdez, Cupid ordered. His voice was starting to get less patient now. Tell him you're a coward, that you're afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him why you hide among your machines like your father. Tell him the real reason you run and why you're always alone.

Leo gritted his teeth, his entire body trembling with pain and frustration. Cupid's words cut through him like a knife, exposing the raw truth that he had been desperately trying to bury.

The grass started to burn and the stone's cracks got bigger.

"I... I can't," Leo stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't tell him."

Cupid's laughter echoed around them, mocking and cruel. "You see, Jason Grace? Your friend is afraid. Afraid of his own feelings, afraid of the truth. He hides behind his jokes and his bravado, but deep down, he knows."

Leo let loose a guttural scream, and like a volcano erupting; everything exploded at once.

Magma burst from the rocks, splitting them wide open. The grass combusted into green flames — Greek fire —he really is going to burn everything down.

"H—haaa"

Leo laughed through the tears. It was really all he could do and all he really ever did. It was funny really; he'd worked so hard to shove everything down, yet it was all destroyed in a fiery explosion in less than an hour.

A nearby tree collapsed dangerously close to Jason as the fire consumed it. "Leo! What is he talking about?" He almost couldn't hear his voice over the fire.

Will you hide forever, Leo Valdez? Cupid taunted, who unfortunately can still be heard because not even fire can shut him up. Will you let fear rule your heart, or will you finally have the courage to face the truth?

He didn't want to face the truth. He was too scared of what would happen. What might Jason say. How he'd react.

He just wanted to keep things the same.

Even if it kills him.?

Leo sobbed, and the flames burned brighter. If this was love then he didn't want it. Or maybe if love was this painful then he deserved it. Another arrow pierced his back—or maybe that was the feeling of his heart breaking more—and more images flashed through his mind.

He was back on that mountain in Colorado. Jason had his arms around Piper, his face scrunched up in concern. Leo pretended it didn't bother him. It was cold, and Piper ended up getting hyperthermia. He had tried to ignore the aching in his chest. He didn't want to think about how much he wanted to be in her place.

After their quest, they left him alone while he worked on the Argo II. He named it after the ship the first Jason sailed on.

It was all for Jason.

He was back on the Argo right after he had fired on New Rome—Jason's home. Everyone was angry with him, and Jason was in the infirmary; some asshole threw a brick at his head. 

He didn't go down to him. He couldn't face Jason.

It was all his fault.

Jason got hurt because of him.

And he didn't even have the guts to face him.

There were more scenes like this flooding his senses. At some point, his brain switched off, and he was just drowning in agony. He couldn't move or speak.

He was weak.

Meanwhile, the flames grew to an inferno of green and reds, drowning out everything. Leo's hair was a white flame. An outline of wings caught fire for a moment before being put out again.

"Interesting!" Cupid's voice said from somewhere above. Do you have strength after all?

"I...I can't," Leo said, though it sounded more like a whimper. He was on his knees now. 

Heh, too weak to admit your feelings and too weak to stand, his mind mocked in Cupid's voice.

Still hiding, Cupid said above, a flame burned an outline of a wing tip before going out again. You do not have the strength.

Leo sobbed. He really was weak. He was going to burn everything down just because he didn't want to admit his feelings.

"Leo" Jason yelled from somewhere. "It's okay! I get it!"

Leo stared at the burning grass below him. It was too hot for tears to fall. Only steam came from his eyes. 

"No, you don't," He said defeatedly. Jason didn't understand. He couldn't understand. If he understood, then he wouldn't be so nice to Leo. "There's no way you understand. If you did you'd hate me".

And so you run away again, Cupid chided, From yourself, from your feelings, and from your friends.

The fire had engulfed Cupid's wings now. But the god laughed cruelly and blew it away.

"Leave him alone Cupid," Jason croaked somewhere. "This isn't your..."

Oh gods, he was hurting Jason again. The smoke is choking him.

Cupid's laugh echoed from above the flames. But oh, it is exactly my business, Jason Grace. Love is me. I am love.

"Leo!" Jason choked out through the smoke.

Oh, you're killing him, you're killing him. Leo's brain screamed. You're a monster, you're such a fucking monster, and you're weak.

"Look, I don't care if you're in love with Piper!" 

He doesn't understand. He doesn't. He doesn't. Leo's brain screamed over and over again.

Cupid laughed again, and Leo's will broke.

"I—I'm not in love with Piper," Leo said, and everything seemed to go silent.

The fire subsided and all of Leo's fight and denial went out at once.

Cupid circled Leo like a shark. His form was visible now—long blond hair, muscular in a simple white frock and jeans, snowy white wings that were singed at the tips. The bow and quiver slung over his shoulder were weapons of war—not toys. His eyes were as red as blood, as if every heart in the world was broken and squeezed dry into one poisonous mixture.

Leo vaguely recalled that some think that Eros was a son of Ares and Aphrodite. And he could see why:

Love and War were the most painful things in the world.

He gestured for Leo to continue.

"I have a crush on you, Jason." Leo said.

The fire died down so Leo could see Jason's face.

And he swore he saw pity in his eyes.

The End

[eccentricgrace]

silly texts || peter parker

summary: as you could guess. a compilation of silly texts between peter and co.

tags: humor, fluff, memes, texting fic

wc: 1,686

cross-posted on wattpad under the same name!

fos crew

arachkid: dude i cannot keep swinging past madison square garden

arachkid: i don't even know how it's possible but they keep thinking i'm not real and now i have an ice-cream stain on my suit

Nedward: DID THEY THROW ICECREAM AT YOU

Nedward: LMFAOOOOOOO

arachkid: i just don't understand how would i be a fake

arachkid: i am literally IN THE AIR

em jay: average new yorker versus common sense

Nedward: If only they could see your glorious muscles from the ground

Nedward: then there would be no doubt

arachkid: i'm so tired 😭

em jay: are you coming to class tmrw peter

arachkid: yeah! why

em jay: think about it

arachkid: thinking

need leds

peper partker: help

need leds: Tomorrow is decathlon lol

fos crew

arachkid: yes im coming to decathlon

em jay: Ned.

Nedward: he ASKED

em jay: i'm putting you both next to flash

em jay: table for people with no backbone

arachkid: ☹️

Nedward: Booo! Flash is gonna make me answer his quiz questions if you sit me next to him

arachkid: what's the quiz on

Nedward: history

arachkid: he's asking you for history???

em jay: may his grades rest in peace

Nedward: [attached image]

em jay: lol

arachkid: ohs hit got to go i hear distress

Nedward: "i hear distress" bro thinks he's an avenger

em jay: honorary avenger

Nedward: Dont get shot again tho pete thanks for keeping our city safe n all that 🫡

em jay: the fact that you have to say "again"

Nedward: HES JUST

Nedward: I THOUGHT HE COULD DUCK BULLETS AND STUFF

Nedward: THE LITERAL BLOOD STAINS ON MY CARPET SAYS OTHERWISE

em jay: skill issue just clean blood better

Nedward: you say that like you just KNOW how to clean blood. like that's a normal thing

em jay: think about it

Nedward: Thinking

Nedward: shit nvm I cant even ask Peter for backup bc he's on patrol

Nedward: I'm just gonna go with the cool mysterious idea that you're up to some shady business and I'm not going to ask questions about it

em jay: [attached image]

em jay: ok i KNOW you took a health class

em jay: the american education system is terrible but don't let me down like this

Nedward: OHHHH

Nedward: the monthly witch's sacrament

em jay: everyday i ask god why i'm friends with you two and everyday she refuses to answer me

arachkid: i was gone for five seconds hwhat

em jay: welcome back public enemy no1 what was the distress

arachkid: ok i'm gomna choose not to read into what you just called me there

arachkid: anyways hotdog guy arguing w the slushy guy again

Nedward: AINT NO WAY

em jay: ???again?????

Nedward: MJ DO YOU NOTCKNOW ABOUT THE SLUSHY HOTDOG FEUD

em jay: wtf are you talking about

em jay: wait is this what you meant when you told me the other day to not buy hotdogs off 3rd ave

arachkid: no that's different

Nedward: Wait What's wrong w the hotdog stand on 3rd

arachkid: i've had to talk to him like three times on patrol to stop creeping on girls that r walking by

em jay: gross. what's his ip

em jay: ned

Nedward: Are you trying to get me to use my powers for evil

em jay: does this look like evil-doing to you

Nedward: .

Nedward: Give me one second

arachkid: no need

arachkid: Mr stark is already taking care of it

arachkid: so if he suddenly goes missing don't question it too much

em jay: won't need to question it at all if i get to him first

arachkid: terrifying!

Nedward: I love that it's not directed at us anymore though

em jay: ok but can we go back to the 'slushy dog' feud peter you still haven't answered what the hell that means

arachkid: oh yeah so basically on 71st st there's this slushy guy that keeps coming up with the most disgusting flavors i've ever imagined in my life

arachkid: last time i swung by this guy was doing pickle slushies or something like i can't make this stuff up

Nedward: [attached image]

Nedward: FOUL

Nedward: Didnt you say one time he had done toothpaste slushy

arachkid: yes.

em jay: hm

arachkid: so slushy guy is infamous in that part of the neighborhood basically

arachkid: but then there's HOTDOG GUY

Nedward: Hotdog guy MVP

arachkid: he's new i think?? but he strolled up and he's like, he's the most serious hot dog guy

arachkid: like ever, probably

em jay: can one be serious about hot dogs?

arachkid: this guy can. this guy can

arachkid: apparently he's from chicago so he's like, he makes chicago hot dogs ?? and he hates slushy guy. he literally. he hates slushy guy so much

arachkid: and slushy guy is so funny abt it bc he keeps setting up right next to him and asking him about whether he thinks mustard or ketchup slushies would be a hit and rhat they could be business partners

arachkid: i have had to break up a fight like every two weeks it's insane

em jay: enemies to lovers slow burn 500k word

Nedward: Whaf does that mean💀

em jay: you're unbelievable

arachkid: [attached image]

le artiste

sunshine incarnate: MJ

sunshine incarnate: MJ

sunshine incarnate: MJ

le artiste: what

le artiste: are u ok

le artiste: are you dying

sunshine incarnate: no

le artiste: no you're not ok or no you're not dying

sunshine incarnate: no i'm fine

sunshine incarnate: can you help me i'm doing lit homework

le artiste: sorry i can't read

sunshine incarnate: MJ PLEASE

sunshine incarnate: what are you doing

le artiste: rereading pride and prejudice

sunshine incarnate: thafs not the book we're doing the report on??

sunshine incarnate: wait shit is it

sunshine incarnate: do i have the wrong book

le artiste: no of course it's not you're not that stupid

le artiste: ... what book do you have though.

sunshine incarnate: photo of dorian grey

le artiste: ... picture

sunshine incarnate: hm?

le artiste: picture of dorian grey

sunshine incarnate: oh my bad

le artiste: either way. so sorry to tell you but

sunshine incarnate: no...

le artiste: you have the wrong book

le artiste: that's the one she assigned to the honors class

sunshine incarnate: aurghrhhh

sunshine incarnate: do you know which one do i need

le artiste: your period was assigned wuthering heights

le artiste: do you have a copy

sunshine incarnate: i'll look around, may might

le artiste: do you have patrol tonight?

sunshine incarnate: mmm nope i finished earlier why

le artiste: come on over, ill lend you my copy

sunshine incarnate: really!!!

le artiste: yeah

le artiste: get here in fifteen minutes and you won't miss mr darcy proposing

sunshine incarnate:

le artiste: bring your homework with you

le artiste: nerd

flash (not gordon)

flash (not gordon): PETER

penis parker: oh my god what

penis parker: why are you yelling

flash (not gordon): Caps lock

flash (not gordon): Didn't mean to

penis parker: what is it

flash (not gordon): Were presenting our phys thing tomorrow

penis parker: yeah i know??

flash (not gordon): Don't skip

penis parker: was not planning to

thee tony stark

thee tony stark: Get out of school free card.

thee tony stark: Trouble downtown, would be a good opportunity for some training. What say you?

spidey-kid: hes

spidey-kid: jges

spidey-kid: fhes

spidey-kid: tes

thee tony stark: Don't hurt yourself.

spidey-kid: yes

spidey-kid: gotta be back in school for fourth period though

thee tony stark: Sure.

spidey-kid: ok so do you want me to swing over there or do you have other plans

thee tony stark: I'm outside.

spidey-kid: oh! ok

spidey-kid: do i wear my suit outside?

thee tony stark: Not unless you want Martha down the hall knowing that you're Spider-Man.

spidey-kid: i don't live next to a martha??

spidey-kid: oh you were joking

thee tony stark: Get outside, kid.

spidey-kid: brt

flash (not gordon)

flash (not gordon): Peter

flash (not gordon): Where the hell are you

flash (not gordon): Peter we present third in the class

flash (not gordon): YOU SAID YOU WERENT SKIPPING YOU ASSHOLE

flash (not gordon): [attached image]

flash (not gordon): Second presenters are up Peter I swear to god

flash (not gordon): WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

flash (not gordon): 😡😡😡😡😡😡

flash (not gordon): PETER!!!!

penis parker: SrIRY IA AM RRNTING TO CLASF RIGHT NIW

flash (not gordon): You are the WORST

fos crew

em jay: we as a society need to make sure peter doesn't walk through the school doors without being thoroughly checked for evidence

Nedward: Ayo??

arachkid: i dont wanna talk about it

em jay: too bad! guess what i just watched this loser do

Nedward: What did he do💀💀

em jay: bro gave an entire presentation with flash and the whole time is mask is STICKING OUT OF HIS BACK POCKET

Nedward: PETER💀💀💀💀💀

em jay: from me trying to let him know that, his mask is sticking out of his pocket, to flash trying to subtly sneak over to help hide it from everyone else, to peter who won't shut up about magnetism

em jay: what a class. holy shit

Nedward: I wish I had physics with you guys my class was boring as hell

Nedward: Did flash actually succeed

em jay: i mean

em jay: ok so he got close enough to grab the mask but then peter must have bugged out or something bc he stopped talking very suddenly and was holding flash's arm

em jay: so the mask was just. sitting there. and of course both of them are now looking like fish out of water so i said a joke and had to deflect for them

Nedward: Michelle jones mvp where would we be without you

em jay: i dread to imagine it

arachkid: i have had a very long and hard day

Nedward: It's fine dude!! now you can just solo as our school's infamous spider-man cosplayer

em jay: gonna have to battle flash for the spidey no1 fan title

arachkid: everyone in this group chat is so mean to me

[nobody-is-here01]

back on my bullshit, (im here to spam you Marine Luffy stuff)

Thinking about Marine Luffy’s dynamic with the 7 warlords and it's one of the funniest things ever.

Boa Hancock is going to get her own post because I have SO MUCH to say about her and Canon! Luffy along with Marine Luffy’s dynamic with her.

Anyway, personal headcanons of what I think Marine Luffy and the Warlords dynamics are.

Doflamingo: Luffy is usually the one who during Warlord meetings has to deal with Doflamingo’s bullshit. This is partially because Luffy is the only thing that really puts the fear of god back into Doflamingo. Also, Marine luffy is absolutely feral, and terrifying, and does indeed bite. I think in some twisted ways Luffy in this AU reminds Doflamingo of when he's younger. In some fucked up way of trying to cope with trauma Doflamingo tries to simulate situations that he went through as a kid to see how Luffy reacts. To see if things had been a bit better, if things had been different, if Doflamingo could have been a better person. The Dressrosa Arc still happens in this AU except a bit later. As Doflamingo’s tyrant rein finally falls he realizes that “huh maybe we never were that similar…”

(I have no idea if this AU is a Crocomom AU or not but I’ll go ahead and write up how it would go in either situations.)

Crocodile: Dynamic is definitely more cold and distant than in an AU where Crocodile is Luffy’s other parent. Luffy is seen as a threat, and Crocodile has at least 15 different drawn-up plans on how to deal with him. (none of these plans would actually work in practice.) The dynamic is pretty much just business, you leave me be I’ll leave you be.

Crocomom: Similar to the first one. Except the first time he meets Luffy and he hears that he's Garp's grandkid he's freaking the fuck out. Because holyshit, that's his alive, grownup, kid. Crocodile has no idea how to explain to Luffy that like “hey im your biological mother, now a man, hahaha…” So Crocodile simply doesn't. (The two of them do have a heart-to-heart much later alone in Impel down during the breakout.)

Moria: Honestly I don't have much to say about him. Luffy absolutely hates Hogback and Absolom though. So Luffy has a dislike for Moria and what he does. But Moria out of all the warlords not including Kuma is the easiest to deal with, so that earns him some brownie points.

Kuma: Im not sure if you caught up with the latest chapters. (specifically his backstory chapters) so I will be staying silent for now as not to spoil anything for you.

Mihawk: Mihawk is both intrigued and concerned at the beginning. Because that is Shank’s hat, and Shank’s kid. Why is Shank’s brat in the Marines?? Mihawk also like all the other warlords tends to use Luffy as some form of a coping mechanism. It's not uncommon to hear about Luffy and Mihawk getting into another physical fight. But after a while, Mihawk does realize that he has been accidentally treating Luffy as if he is Shanks. Mihawk realizes that he can't force Luffy to become his new sparring partner. Luffy is not Shanks, and he can't fill that hole either. After Marine Ford Mihawk reads the news regularly, a rare grin on his face whenever he catches sight of a straw hat.

Jinbei: That is Luffy’s emotional support parental figure your honor! The only one who is normal, safe, and sane. Also, the only one to look at Luffy and go “Are you okay?? I don't think healthy humans are supposed to act like that.” Also, the one to get Luffy to open up and heal slowly after Marineford. Also Luffy definitely knows the full truth of what happened to Fisher Tiger in this AU, so yeah that's something.

(I am so sorry, this is a really long post 💀)

Aaaahhhhhh!!! I've missed you and your bullshit bombarding my asks!

I love how with each dynamic all of them are also like, 'alright this kid is fucked up, keep an eye on him' but for different reasons

So here are some of my thoughts on what Marine Luffy’s relationship is with the warlords (love yours so much)

Crocodile : so unfortunately not a coco-mom au, like you said their relationship is strictly business, Luffy doesn't really care for the warlords as long as they don't get in his way.

Domflamingo : Luffy finds him kinda annoying so he tries to avoid any situation where he would meet him, unfortunately he can't at warlord meetings, but he's tried, probably one of the only warlords Luffy wouldn't mind punching out of the blue, dude would punch him without reason (gets away with it too)

Kuma : (no sadly not that far yet but I know a bit of his background not much though) but Luffy likes him

Moria : almost the same relationship as Domflamingo, except he just straight up avoids him, unless he has to deal with Moria then he will and he'll do it quickly

Mihawk : one of the few warlords Luffy actually respects, he admires his fighting and his character, granted it annoyed him a bit to constantly be reminded of Shanks, like you said he also like the other warlords used luffy as some form of coping, but after he realized what he did he stopped and him and Luffy kinda became like gossip buddies, like they'd hang out whenever Mihawk was in the area, but Luffy wouldn't actively seek him out, Mihawk would have to come to him if he wanted someone to talk to or spar with,

Jimbe : only warlord and person that Luffy actually likes from the warlords, yes he likes Mihawk, but Jimbe is different, Luffy has a sort of awe for Jimbe and felt very honored to know about him and his past with Fisher Tiger, Jimbe is the only one who knows that Luffy secretly wishes he was a pirate instead of a Marine, when Jimbe asked why Luffy didn't just become a pirate now Luffy replied saying that he's made so many promises to the people he protects that he doesn't want to go back, not now at least, Jimbe is also the only one who knows about Ace and Sabo and how much Luffy misses them and how proud he is of them

absolutely love your asks 🩷

Have aa good day/night